#can we make ‘trans obey me’ a tag?
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ns-theheartofz · 6 months ago
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I'm not one for formalities.
I'm Themis, but you can also call me Elidibus. We're a subsystem of sorts in which our switches are fluid and we see each other as a whole unit. I'm involved with (soulbonded) to Eric in our system. He's pretty much everything to me and the only person I will obey outright.
In source I definitely played the role of being the heart of Zodiark but it was only because I wanted to see Eric again, and to reunite with Azem, who happened to be my best friend long ago. I missed both of them and eventually began to lose those memories until I ended up finding my own memories again when I ended up being part of the crystal tower.
I ended up in this system as myself some time ago, don't remember when exactly.
Eric is here and I realized I knew him immediately. He had been looking for me.
Anyway, I'm not keen on talking about source with people I don't know that well, so don't ask. Don't assume anything either.
Fun fact about me: when I front I cannot for the life of me mask my voice with the higher pitched tone we use when hiding our trans status in public. So if we have to mask, someone who can do the mask voice has to be in front with me. My voice is very deep. Doesn't match the damn baby face I have at all!
I'll probably make a tag system here once I figure that out.
I'm also pro endo like the rest of our system. I don't argue points with anti-endos. They won't listen, it's a waste of time. I'm more of the type to be friendly with people vs. arguing with them.
Feel free to ask me things, I like questions. A lot of us do. Just be warned if you ask for an opinion, I do not care about your reaction. Don't ask if you don't want to actually know, okay?
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radqueer-yanqing · 1 year ago
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Re-joining the tumblr scene~!
I mean you hopefully don’t know me since I’m making it a point to separate myself from my prev accounts (other than those who know me personally) but! I’ve missed the radqueer community and tumblr sooo…
Blog theme is just a theme! I don’t ID as Yanqing (if someone randomly comes along and wants my url just dm me and I’ll see what I can do). I am using it because my Doll loves Yanqing and we thought it would be cute.
I don’t know what I want for names here so just call me whatever strikes your fancy. It/Ey/Love/Fluff/Purr/Kit pronouns, please!
If it wasn’t already obvious, I’m Radqueer. Im anti harassment, pro consang, pro para, pro trans id, pro fic, etc. I would rather people who will hold my identity against me not interact, but I won’t have any strict DNI (please try to interact in good faith. If I misinterpret you, just let me know, I’m not trying to make enemies)
Only consistent tag I’ll probably use are #Doll <3 to easily reference those that are mine. Speaking of my dearest loves, if you’d like to see its blog you can find love at @morphoqueer!
My main interests at the moments are Genshin Impact, Honkai: Star Rail, Obey Me!, Bungou Stray Dogs, and Wuthering Waves (WuWa is a very passive interest in comparison to the others, though)
the only trans ids I feel comfy sharing are transnutallergy (in the process of transitioning! Made easier by the fact that my friend is cisnutallergy so we never eat stuff with nuts and she can give me tips and she helps me feel more comfy saying I have a nut allergy! <3) and transvalentinesbirthday + bibirthday.
Idk if this intro post is gonna be permanent but at least I’ve got something! That’s more than usual.
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idlescara · 10 months ago
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ABOUT & RULES
— minors and ageless blogs do not interact, you will be blocked if you do so.
— fem aligned people can interact, i do not have a problem with it. i only ask that you do not interact with any post containing ftm content!
— i have frequent periods of writers block, so will be times where i do not post. i’ll try my best to at least post some drabbles/quick thoughts, but sometimes i can’t even do that.
— please, do not plagiarize, repost or edit my works here or on any other platforms.
— please do not spam like, it can get this blog shadow banned, reblog instead to show support!
— i write only for male/gender neutral!reader, find other blogs for fem!reader. smau’s that are a series will always be gender neutral!reader, while one-shot smau’s won’t always be gender neutral.
— i write for jujutsu kaisen, haikyuu, my hero academia, attack on titan, genshin impact, mystic messenger, honkai: star rail, zenless zone zero, blue lock, wuthering waves, obey me! shall we date? and 10 days with my devil!
— link to spreadsheet of all the characters i write
— characters have a possibility to be out of character, i try my best to match their canon personality as best as possible unless it’s on purpose! if it’s intentional, there will always be a note of it!
— characters most often/nearly always to be ooc:
• jujutsu kaisen — sukuna, naoya
• my hero academia — shigaraki
• honkai: star rail — mydei, phainon, anaxa (pre-release)
— my works are not spoiler free! i will put a warning for spoilers if the work contains them.
— my works are both canon compliant and not canon compliant! there will be a note depicting which it is.
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REQUEST & INBOX
— my requests will always be open unless stated otherwise!
— do not request for specific traits (hair color, eye color, etc) or fem!reader. any requests including so will be deleted.
— please do not explain the complete plot of your request, it leaves me less to work with. any requests doing so will be deleted.
— when requesting, please keep in mind that i cannot write super fast! drabbles and headcannons would take around 1-3 days (estimate) to complete, full fledged imagines would take at minimum 3 days to complete; more likely to take up to a week (estimate). you can suggest ideas for smau’s as well, but i will not guarantee that i will write it!
drabbles — one character, prompt, male or gender neutral!reader, include if it is ftm/afab!reader headcannons — maximum of 3 characters for each prompt, male or gender neutral!reader, include if it is ftm/afab!reader imagines — character(s) (re: poly relationship), prompt, max of 3 desired tags (not guaranteed to be included), male or gender neutral!reader, include if it is ftm/afab!reader smau’s — one to five character(s), prompt, and max of 3 desired tags (not guaranteed to be included)
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WHAT I WILL WRITE
— poly ships (4 maximum; including reader), ftm/afab!reader, select dead dove: do not eat tropes, a/b/o / omegaverse, trans characters
— male character x male/gn!reader, female character x ftm/afab!reader, male character x ftm/afab!reader x female character, child/teen!reader
— nsfw (including aged up minor characters), select kinks, yandere!character & yandere!reader (nothing extreme)
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WHAT I WILL NOT WRITE
— fem!reader, female character x male/amab!reader, male character x female character (ex. gojo x shoko, only exception is tanaka x kiyoko)
— ships not including reader, heavy/detailed gore, vore/cannibalism, and more. if a request has something i will not write that is not listed above i will make note of it.
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TAGS
#idlescara — writing (non request) #idlescara.rq — writing (request) #idlescara.ask — regular asks #idlescara.answer — general questions #idlescara.talk — regular posts #idlescara.rec — works i recommend #idlescara.art — art i like
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freakvampire · 3 months ago
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Out of curiosity why does working at build a bear make you miserable? QwQ I would have thought that would be one of the few semi-happy retail jobs in the world ;;;_;;;
so i hate my fuckin job and i have a lot to say!
short answer: it's very social and i am not a social person. it's standard retail, and i am visibly trans, so i get misgendered a LOT. it's VERY corporate and i hate the predatory nature of capitalism. just not a good job for me.
long answer below the cut
it's very, very forward-facing and very, very corporate. we're pushed to reach a store sales goal every day, as well as personal goals for getting people's emails for our Bonus Club (they send you emails and there's a 10 dollar birthday reward + a point system) and selling half-off gift cards (with every purchase you can get a 10 dollar gift card for 5 dollars). as far as i know, there's not a punishment for not reaching a goal besides, like, the social shame of everyone else knowing you didn't hit the goal but idgaf and i don't think my coworkers particularly do either. the only reason i do well for the email collection is because i don't give them a choice, i tell them they're going to type in their email and by then it's too late.
we have to, in my opinion, harass customers. at no point should a customer be wandering aimlessly. we're supposed to greet them, personalize their visit, play to what the kid wants while obeying their parents, upsell outfits, upsell accessories, upsell sounds, scents, and a vibrating heart. we're selling an experience (customers are called Guests in all of our literature), and they want us to be like fuckin Disney World. in training i was taught that there's never any excuse for a bear to go home bare (except, yknow, shirts are 6 dollars and pants are 5 dollars and shoes are 7.50 and i make 14/hr. an hour of work does not pay for a full outfit).
i am not particularly fond of children. i don't really like to spend time with them, i am incredibly anxious and i do not want to teach kids the wrong things. got the job for the 30% discount and hoping i'd be able to work the register most of the time, honestly. the kids are actually the best part of my job. today i had a four or five year old girl ask a million questions about how we stuff the bear, how the machine works, how long i've been working, and she talked my ear off about the vacation they were on. she was my nicest customer today. my very first customer of the day misgendered me the entire interaction.
once a mom was gendering me incorrectly at check out (mind you, my name tag says he/him/his and i was rocking muttonchops and mustache) and her son, probably 5 or 6, was baffled. he kept looking at me in confusion whenever his mom implied i was a girl. like, kid, i'm just as confused, i get it. finally he goes, "that's a boy," and looks right at me. his mom, purposefully ignoring him, went "yeah, that's right, buddy, your frog is a boy". this woman was more willing to gender a stuffed animal masculinely than me, the guy with facial hair.
so, yeah, it would be just fine if i was a cis man that loved convincing people to spend money on material possessions by being outgoing and charming. fortunately for me and unfortunately for BABW, i'm a weird transgender faggot that doesn't give a shit
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cxdemistake · 2 years ago
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—Time slips away!
Burn out, don’t fade!
Dance on my grave!
I will never be them!—
Indie multimuse, multifandom blog.
Canon and OC muses present
Currently mobile-only
Semi-selective, semi-active
Open to asks and messages
More info (link to OCs, list of canon muses, writer info, and rules) under the cut.
OC Links
*Note: A few characters’ appearances/voices have changed, so make sure to check out the tags on the blog. OCs are tagged with “; (name)”— for example, my character Myarel is tagged with “; myarel” (no quotations).*
Canon Muses
*Note: Many of these muses aren’t listed on my muse page due to being unable to update said page from my phone. Muse tags vary. Some are tagged with fancy tags but I may switch between those and regular tags. They’re listed here in alphabetical order by fandom.*
**Edit: I’ve also marked which fandoms/muses are most active. Very active fandoms will be bolded, semi-active italic, and dormant/needing some time before interaction are regular text. I’ll also put an asterisk after new muses/muses I haven’t played yet. I beg that if a fandom isn’t bolded or italicized that you discuss it with me before sending something in or making a starter— I have a lot of muses and it takes time to get into the swing of new ones when I’m not in the right mindset!**
The Arcana: Asra Alnazar*, Julian Devorak, Portia Devorak*, Faust
American Gods: Mad Sweeney
Assassin’s Creed: Ezio Auditore da Firenze*, Aveline de Grandpré
Avatar: The Last Airbender: Zuko*
Back 4 Blood: Karlee*, Evangelo*
Baldur’s Gate 3: Astarion*
Boondock Saints: Murphy MacManus*
Call of Duty: Simon “Ghost” Riley*, Johnny “Soap” MacTavish*
Chappie: Chappie*
Columbo: Lt. Frank Columbo*
Dead Island/Riptide: Sam B, John Morgan*
Detroit: Become Human: Connor, Markus*
Dirty Bomb: Vassili*
Disturbed (band): The Guy*
Dream Daddy: Damien Bloodmarch*, Robert Small*
Dying Light: Kyle Crane*, Rahim*, Karim*
FNAF: Cupcake
Hazbin Hotel: Alastor, Angel Dust, Charlie, Husk, Lucifer
Homestuck: Gamzee, Calsprite
I, Frankenstein: Adam
Into the Badlands: Baron Quinn*
Jet Set Radio Future: Yoyo*
Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure: Jonathan Joestar*, Joseph Joestar, Jotaro Kujo*, Josuke Higashikata*, Giorno Giovanna*, Jolyne Cujoh*, Caesar Zeppeli
Kingdom Hearts: Axel
Left 4 Dead 2: Ellis, Nick
Marvel: Nightcrawler*, Moon Knight*, Eddie Brock/Venom*
Monster High: River Styxx*, Operetta*, Frankie Stein*
The Nightmare Before Christmas: Jack Skellington*
Obey Me!: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor, Diavolo
Onmyoji: Yasha*, Hiromasa*, Susabi*
Pirates of the Caribbean: Captain Jack Sparrow*
Portal: GLaDOS
Red Dead Redemption: John Marston*, Arthur Morgan*
Rise of the Guardians: Jack Frost*
Skullgirls: Valentine
Stardew Valley: Shane*
Steven Universe: Garnet*, Ruby*, Sapphire*, Sunstone*, Sardonyx*, Rainbow Quartz 2.0*
Spiritfarer: Gwen*
Suicide Squad: Diablo
Undertale/Deltarune: Papyrus, Sans, Susie*
Until Dawn: Chris*
The Village: Ivy Walker
Walking Dead/Fear: Negan Smith, Daryl Dixon, Morgan Jones, Shiva, Victor Strand*, Qaletaqa Walker*, Crazy Dog*
Warframe: Excalibur Umbra*
Warm Bodies: R, M
What We Do In The Shadows: Nandor the Relentless*, Viago*, Vladislav*
Info About The Writer
Hi! I’m Alistair— you can call me that, or you can use my username for pretty much everywhere else, TheetyPie/Theety. I don’t mind either way.
I’m a trans guy, I use he/they pronouns. I’m panromantic/asexual, and I’m 27 years old.
I have 3 cats, they’re my babies. I also (as you can tell from above) have a lot of OCs, and the number is still growing. I want to turn my ideas into a bigger creation someday, still not sure exactly where I want to go with it.
I do more than write. I do art, I like video games, music, and just collecting stuff. Current obsessions are Monster High, Jojo’s Bizarre Adventure, makeup, crystals, and jewelry.
Rules
The most important: I do not RP smut. In the past I’ve used the fade-to-black method, but I’m not entirely comfortable with that with most of my muses.
In the same vein, DO NOT FORCE SHIPS. I love ships as much as the next guy, but I would prefer to discuss it first, or for us to agree on it. It’s cool if your muse has a crush, totally fine— mine get crushes all the time! But make sure if you want to ship, we discuss it first.
In a similar vein to that one as well, no god-modding/powerplaying. If your character is strong, an immortal being, or whatever, cool! I have some of those too. But there should always be a limit. Don’t say your character is moving mine unless we’ve talked about that. Attempt to move them. Usually I follow along as long as boundaries aren’t pushed.
Don’t kill or seriously injure my muse without permission. Fights happen, of course, but again: discussion. I’m up for threads where my canon muses are injured or killed, but not where it happens to my OCs, unless we’re getting into a backstory and another OC that’s already deceased dies. Non-serious injuries are alright to come out of nowhere with, but if it’s a first meeting, I’d prefer to plot it out.
I’m semi-selective. I’m kind of particular about who I follow and who I thread with. I prefer us to be mutuals to thread, but you don’t have to be mutuals to send me things.
I’m very bad at keeping up with people. If you message me and I don’t respond, it’s usually bc I’m shy, I forgot, or I’m busy with work. It’s not you, I promise. Usually I don’t message first bc I’m nervous.
Back to shipping: I’m also multiship. Usually my ships are in different universes, unless discussed with all parties beforehand. The exception is a few of my OCs that are partnered together— ask about their availability. I love random ships, just talk to me about them!
I love duplicates of my muses. Whether it’s “x meets self” or I find someone I share a muse with, I love RPing with just about everyone. Please don’t hesitate to reach out if we have a muse in common!
One of my other most important statements, not really considered a rule, but it’s still important: if you want to know something about any muse, canon or OC, please tell me— ask or message me! I haven’t been able to write down a lot of info about any of them because I’m on mobile, but I will infodump for you if you need/want to know something. I love talking about my children, they’re precious to me.
If you send something in or make something for me when we haven’t even spoken, I might not feel comfortable responding. I’m very shy and nervous about not having any discussion beforehand. 😭
If there’s anything I left out or you need to know, just ask!
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touch-starved-apprentice · 8 months ago
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lol hey welcome or whatevez
I’m reorganizing a bunch of my blogs so I think it’s about time I make an intro post for this one after like. five years or some shit.
I’m vampy! you can also call me just vamp. this is my little dating sim autism hole. and yes I include twisted wonderland in that category because look at the way my husband talks to me. look at it. /delulu
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this blog is mostly just reblogs and meme posting. It started off as an arcana blog and then became kind of my general otome/dating sim hell. so we’ve got a bunch of stuff here—arcana, ikemen series, twst, touchstarved, obey me, monster prom series, mystic messenger. if I play a game with cute LIs it goes here.
I’ve got some rules. They pretty simple!
minors can chill here but block my “not safe for william shakespeare” tag. that’s the spicy tag don’t go there.
if you would like to not see any of my personal updates/non-game related reblogs then you can block my “not otome” tag
from here on out I will be using the tag “vampy post” when I am making a post and not just reblogging shit so you can block that too if you wish
DNIs are pretty self explanatory. DNI if you’re a piece of shit bigot, that goes for right wing folks, supporters of Israeli occupation of Palestine/Palestinian genocide, n*zis, transmed/truscum/terfs, antisemitic/islamaphobic, tradfem/tradwife, racist, hate the gays, talk shit about the trans community get hit, talk shit about the disabled community also get hit. P easy.
I’d also appreciate if anyone who wants to get deep into it about fandom discourse could just. Not here. I’m tired man. I’d like to enjoy my funny little lines and not scream about it thanks. Maybe we can have a civil discussion about media literacy later when I’m not an eepy stressed out chick who hovers over the block button constantly.
Other than that we’re chill here.
if you would like to see me tism scream about something other than Lilia Vanrouge or Jaehee Kang, may I suggest my multifandom blog, @shut-in-magical-girl. It’s a lot like this one but that’s where I cry about She-Ra and Madoka and Sailor Moon and make stupid Ouran shitposts. I’ve also got a roomposting blog bc I’m a simp and have Lilia plastered on my fuckin wall @va-mp3 so that’s a thing. if you wanna be moots my main is @big-pink-comfy-couch, I’d prefer if all of my moots were 18+ though, thank you, at the very least if you’re gonna dm me/tag me in things/actually talk to me. if you wanna see me invoke the old gods and put herbs in a bowl and call it a spell then my witchcraft blog is @vampeatscrystals.
Hope you enjoy your gay ass stay on my gay ass blog! /gen
TAG LIST:
-darcycore: tag for my girlfriend <3
-moot shenanigans: moot things
-vampy post: post by yours truly
-not safe for william shakespeare: nsfw tag (minors pls block thx)
-not otome: non otome related post
-not mystic messenger/not twst/not obey me/etc: not related to the media in question
-I also just talk in the tags a lot so feel free to ignore my madwoman ramblings
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thirdhandidiot · 5 years ago
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HELLO LGBTs
DONT YOU THINK ITS TIME FOR A REVOLUTION?
NONE OF THE OBEY ME CHARACTERS ARE CIS BECAUSE I SAID SO, ITS TIME WE START PROJECTING ONTO THEM
•i want to see non binary Satan who couldn’t understand why talking to people was making them angry and started lashing out for seemingly no reason, having to go to Lucifer in a fit of angry tears, desperate for help because it hurts so much, why does it hurt?
•I want to see Beel, who passed so easily, worried his twin would grow to despise him because he never had the same ease transitioning socially, getting called the girly one of the two, always being smaller, weaker next to Beel, and Beel hates it so much, he feels guilty
•I want to see Miku Binder Levi projecting onto fictional characters to avoid thinking about his own problems, wearing baggy clothes and locking himself away, jealous of the other brothers, scared of rejection
•I want gender fluid Asmo, proud of their ability to seemlessly shift between presentations, calling mammon in tears, begging him to come pick her up from this guys house because he’s yelling slurs at asmo, who is sobbing please don’t call me that and they won’t stop
•I want to see the great mammon, who is so confident one day, but the next can’t stand the sight of his body, especially when he shifts and you can see his scars, barley hidden by his jacket, who always feels like his screams are just a little bit too high pitched
•Lucifer, so proud, hurt by memories of before, presenting hyper masc at times, afraid to show any emotions because even though he knows it’s not true, he can’t help but think people will see his as more feminine, and he can’t do that, not again
•I want Belphie, who pretends it doesn’t bother them. ‘Why should I care what some lesser demon thinks of me?’ but is kept awake at night, when everyone else is asleep, no one to help as they spiral in insecurities, their voice echoing in their head, the cruel words twisting, stabbing–
•Lord diavolo, whose parents had been so relieved because ‘that means you can be king– we were so disappointed when you were born female’ and it never sat right with him, even though he’d been lucky enough to transition young
•Maybe even Luke, who only Simeon knows is trans, getting upset when he’s called chihuahua because my voice isn’t that high, is it? But determined to stay closeted and so never being able to tell them why they should stop, and he’s not that small, he’s an average height for boys his age he’s checked, so many times
–But I also want to see sleepovers between the brothers (they agreed it was simpler to keep calling themselves that and that it was better than letting Mammon or Levi pick a new name) where they, just for one night, put aside the bickering and tormenting eachother just to make sure the others are ok, because they all know that they’re struggling in their own ways, and for one night they all sleep in the living room, eating food, watching comfort movies and following whatever self care routine it is that asmo is on currently, everyone gets a face mask, no you can’t opt out lucifer, you’re working too hard again, you’ll get wrinkles and that just won’t do, let us take care of you– and Levi! When was the last time you washed your hair?! That won’t do, come with me, let me do it for you I have these amazing bath salts I just know you’ll love
–I want Diavolo, helping them all transition as quickly and as secretively as possible after he finds out. He wants to be there for them, ever since that night lucifer came out to him, sobbing, pride forgotten because he doesn’t want to be that person anymore. He can’t, he spent too long living that lie for his father, he just wants to be free. Simeon telling him he’s changed and being so proud of him, you look so much more relaxed. Diavolo being so happy to know that lucifer is happier because he struggles to talk about it because Lucifer still believes he‘s wrong or broken in someway, pride too much to overcome, but when it’s just him and diavolo, sometimes he can talk about it, lift a weight off his chest
–I want to see them big eachother up in the way that only siblings can, oi that jacket looks good on ya, can I steal it? I’m gonna get junk food because I deserve it, what do you want? I want them to support eachother on bad days, just silently making them tea when they’ve started into space just a little too long, ruffling their hair on the way out. I want a deal between them to let the others know if something is showing in public, whilst in the house being comfortable enough and trusting eachother enough not to judge because really, they’re all in the same boat here
I can’t be the only one here guys. C’mon. Let make this happen. Tag me. ANYTHING YOU POST I want to see it, I want to see your vent art, I want to hurt with you as you project your troubles, just so that your not alone. @7fckingidiots made a Post Abt the Brothers amd it was my final snapping point, Ive got so many little sketches of Satan, they’ve become my muse for any practice drawings, amd I wanted to say something before but yea, check out their post guys I’ll try Link it. But I mean it, tag me, I want to reblog everything you do, make our own supportive family
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razielwritesstuff · 2 years ago
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Obey Me! Headcannons ~
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I have never and will never hide that I dislike Luci
BUT
I do have thoughts
This man is just constantly sipping a caffeinated beverage he needs it to deal with these mfs
He's a single mother of all 6 of his brothers
I think all demons have sharp teeth. His are the least sharp of the brothers and he is PISSED ABT IT TGURBODFK
Fav song is probably by Mozart. Basic ass.
I discussed how the om! chars would deal wirth being in mlp (pls dont ask) and Luci and Luna give me an evil grinch smile
I feel like he'd curse when angry
Idk.
Gay ass
Smells like pine trees or something
I think he'd have a fear of mascots
Like. character mascots.
Don't ask me okay
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Smells like axe bodyspray and SADNESS
Am I WRONG????
We all love mammon but that man.... we know he uses axe...
Befriends the local crows.
There is so many he could be carried off
They all give him shiny shit to sell
Did everyone remember how he's canonically a model
He's attractive. Canonically.
Anyways, second-sharpest teeth of the bros
This is cannon (TO ME) but Mammon is just attached to MC like glue
"STOP FOLLOWING ME!!" "LET GO OF MY HAND THEN????"
He once tried to steal and sell some of leviathan's games
The cast took a while to come off :)
Fav song is something CUNTY ik it
Most girlypop aside from asmo (YTO ME!!!!)
He's great :D
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He is so trans to me as a transmasc.
He has a main twitter and an alt twitter. Nobody knows abt the alt so he uses it to doxx ppl he doesn't like
I love Leviathan but I swear to God I don’t think he knows what deodorant is
“man for a guy who sleeps in a bathtub you really have no concept of hygiene”
How many Henrys has he had??? who tf knows.
Fav animal is SNAKES
Loves pokemon. his fav would be gyarados
He will assume anything except romantic intentions at all times
Autistic. As approved by my friend with the 'tism
He would be a brony
Lovable but a Bit Cringe
Has tied Mammon to a chair and forced him to watch stuff before
EXPERT at pirating shit
Would play Undertale.
Speedrunner !!
Would spend like the better part of a month to discover EVERY SINGLE glitch, bug, and exploit in a game to use it to is advantage
Has a sims 4 cc folder that's like 80 terabytes
He's my malewife and he's everything to me.
Would make a shiny living dex on every single Pokémon game
He has multiple cardboard cutouts of his waifus
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Satan has an Ao3 account. He writes exclusively on his fav characters
His Ao3 tag has something to do with Sherlock Holmes fight me
He tweets in perfect grammar
He'd kill over a board game
Would cry over a cute cat video
WARRIOR CATS NERD
HE'S COME UP WITH WARRIOR NAMES FOR EVERYONE HE KNOWS AND THE CAT HE THINKS IS MOST SIMILAR
Lucifer got assigned as Tigerclaw LMAO
He would get into Leviathan's fandoms but only bc Leviathan forced him. He comes out liking the thing.
His favorite disney movie would be Aristocats
Loves Luigi
He became a cat person specifically because Lucifer is a dog person
He'd also be a brony
The one that can analyze media properly
His brothers use him to spellcheck their essays
He either watches video essays on YouTube or he makes them
Likes reading about witchkraft from the human realm, he finds it interesting
The one that taught Leviathan to make cardboard cutouts
Knows about 50 stray cats and has named them all
Constantly brags about how he has sharper teeth than Lucifer
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Smells like a different scented candle every week
Has that stereotypical gay accent
He's zesty
He's girlypop but we all knew that
Listens to Ayesha Erotica
Goes like "GIRL you would NOT believe what Solomon did!!"
He spills all the tea all the time
King shit
He'd wear a dress in a heartbeat and he'd ROCK IT
He would cry over broken nails but not because of the pain it might cause, only because it looks ugly asf now
"I NEED TO CRY BUT MY MAKEUP WAS 40 GRIMM"
The one who painted everyone's nails
Will threaten you in order to paint your nails, but he will do a color you like
King at make up
Absolutely loves Ru Paul
Keeps trying to get Dia to set up a drag race, he's unsuccessful as of now
Strawberry is his favorite flavor
He's very physically affectionate but would absolutely respect boundaries i will kill you if you think otherwise
He would HYPE. YOU. UP.
Has gum on him 24/7
Also has tampons on him so he can give them to the homies who need them (like Leviathan)
IDK man I didn't used to like him that much but he's grown on me
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VERY GOOD COOK because of course he is
Loves giving piggyback rides
Tall enough and beefy enough for you to sit on his shoulders
Would also let Belph sleep on his shoulders
He's a golden retriever. We knew this.
Surprisingly good at Just Dance
Not a dog person not a cat person but a secret third thing (he thinks cows are adorable)
Always spares bugs and spiders when he finds them
Cannot watch cooking shows, he's tried to eat the TV before
Loves going to movie theaters, will pay just for the overpriced popcorn
You can tell he genuinely loves you if he shares his food
Like he shares his food with MC and all the brothers are like "W. WHAT??"
Would INSIST you look great no matter what you look like
You will cuddle with him and Belph this is an Order
Smells like food-scented deodorant
He would be too scared to roughhouse with anyone, boy is too strong
Likes just picking people up and carrying them off
He's done this with Satan once and it actually calmed him down
Favorite show is Bluey probably
Favorite animal is a maned wolf or something
Would kill for a klondike bar
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Sharpest teeth out of the brothers + bites as a love language
Every time he bites Leviathan it results in Leviathan squealing higher than able to be heard by humankind
Talks in his sleep. It is adorable thank you for asking!
Smells like Lavendar, vanilla deodorant, and a little bit of "hasn't showered in 2 days" hidden underneath
Drinks a lot of milk
Blueberry is his favorite flavor
Lucid dreams a lot
He does not believe dreams have meanings his are always either incomprehensible or if they did have menains have ones he really doesnt like
Would drink monster energy but he hates the taste of caffeine (he just like me forreal)
Gummies are his favorite snack
He gives off trans energy but i honest to diavolo can't tell if he's transfem or transmasc or neither i CANT TELL
He's girly pop in his own unique way
His DDD's ringtone is Emo Boy by Ayesha Erotica
He's neurodivergent to me i just dont know how
Chews on everything for sensory reasons
Spoiled. Because he's the youngest sibling ofc he is
Every time he drinks hot cocoa he puts marshmallows in it
He considers "barging into your room and scooching you over in your bed to cuddle" a sleepover
Alternatively he'll get Beel to bring you to their room
Hey everyone remember how he's canonically a yandere-
Anyways he's cool :)
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otakusheep15 · 4 years ago
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MC Rant
Hello, I’m back with another rant! 
Can we please start tagging posts with the gender we use in scenarios please? I have all of the fem!MC tags blocked cause they trigger me as a trans man, but some people don’t use those tags and they end up in my feed. It just sucks when I find a really good piece but then find a female pronoun half way through reading. 
And this goes for all genders, but I’m specifically calling out female writers cause y’all are who I see this from most often. Or, at the very least, put up some kind of warning at the beginning about which pronouns are being used. It’ll save everyone a lot of trouble. 
It also sucks that some people just assume that everyone who plays Obey Me is female. MC as a character is specified to have NO gender at all. The writers wanted to make the game more inclusive, but some people still try and take that away from others. 
I know this probably won’t reach many people, but for those who do see this, please just tag your damn fics properly if you don’t already. 
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ibelongtowrath · 5 years ago
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Repent - Simeon x Reader (Obey Me!)
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A/N: I got an idea for a dominant Simeon and decided to combine it with a request I had. I will see all of you in hell. Prompt: “You have no idea how badly I want you.” Pair: Simeon x Fem!Reader Tags/warnings: NSFW/18+, dominance, cursing, degradation, oral sex, face fucking, spitting, finger fucking, squirting, choking, rough sex, and a whole lot of sin. NSFW below the cut!
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My...why don’t you come to my room tonight, beautiful girl? I’m sure that you will look even more delectable, standing before me. - Simeon
Your hand reaches out, almost hesitantly, placing three quick, light raps on the door. Turning your hand around, nails briefly dig into your palms before fanning your fingers back out, nervously studying the lines etched into the skin. Were you really about to lay with Simeon, one of the holiest of beings? 
A few moments later, the lock unhinges with a click. Your heart begins to race, the accelerator stuck to the floor, pedal to the metal as the door opens; painstakingly slow, creaking in the effort. Rendered speechless, your eyes meet Simeon’s, the gentle, tender look in his allowing your shoulders to relax, not realizing you had been carrying so much tension.
“My, my, little lamb,” Simeon chuckles, a soft smile dusting his handsome face. “You certainly are prompt. Please, do come in.”
The Angel gestures for you to step in, closing the door behind you, the familiar click! of the lock almost jarring in the serene quiet of his bedroom. Shadows flicker across the room, painted in the light of the candle as the flames dance, casting a hazy glow in the low light, almost sensual. The ever-eternal darkness of the Devildom looms just outside the window, concealed by heavy curtains. You turn to study him, his features even more handsome in the candlelight, excitement gripping your heart once more.
Simeon pauses briefly, eyes drinking you in before striding slowly over to his nightstand where his D.D.D. rests. Picking up the phone, he crosses back over to you, pulling up a familiarly provocative photo: you, posed, back arching in snow-white lingerie, teeth biting your lip suggestively. Your eyes scan the screen, heart racing as though it might burst, that very same lingerie hidden beneath your clothes.
“Sinner,” Simeon hisses, circling you. “You dare tempt me, a Man of God…an Angel? One of the highest beings in all of the realms?”
The angel’s words drip with venom seemingly laced within every syllable. Goosebumps dart across your skin as your blood turns to ice, a shudder radiating throughout your body. Nervous eyes slowly flit from a set of soft, full lips to the Angel’s intoxicating jade gaze, beautiful enough to get lost in; tonight, though, what appears to be a searing annoyance is etched into his jewel-toned irises.
“Um....,” you stammer, words sticking behind your teeth.
You swallow. The Angel watches you, fighting a battle to conceal the smirk that so badly wants to paint his handsome face. How could you think to tempt him, an Angel? He won’t tell you yet, though, that he wanted nothing more than to tear the clothes off your body, kneel between your legs and taste your sweet nectar upon the receipt of your gift.
Simeon revels in the control he has; though, he is more than aware that he is to be a representative of all celestial beings, destined to uphold standards of purity while in the heart of all that is not pure, in Hell. But, oh, oh...how badly he wants to sheath himself in the constricting warmth of your walls, to taint you with the colors of his sin.
Simeon steps toward you. Your gaze rakes over his body, unable to control the wanton desire flowing deep within your veins. He can feel the yearning, sees it written in the delicate features of your beautiful face.
“I thought you would enjoy it,” you respond, holding steady. “We were just talking the other day, you joked about me tempting you...and you’ve invited me here.”
“And did you think my resolve was so weak that I would give in so easily to such temptation? To bring me to sin?” Simeon bites back. “I am nothing like these demons, these beings with no remorse about committing such acts, acting upon their sins without a shred of inhibition.”
He won’t tell just yet that he, too, aches to indulge you, to give you exactly what you want, for it is exactly what he wants as well. No. Not yet. First, he must make sure you understand: to lay with an Angel, to corrupt him, comes with a price. 
It is not as though Simeon had never sinned before. Even the highest of the celestial beings relinquished control to their temptations, and quite often. He certainly was no stranger to it. He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone. The entire Celestial Realm would be at a standstill. No, he would simply ask for forgiveness, as they all did.
In the meantime, he will certainly enjoy playing with his food before he sinks his teeth into your flesh, leaving his mark on you. Demons are not the only beings with sharp fangs.
“What am I going to do with you, my dear?” Simeon muses, his eyes drinking in the sight of you before him.
Simeon circles to your back slowly, almost achingly so, like a lion ready to pounce on its prey. He reaches out with a hand, weaving the fabric of your shirt between his fingers and tears it off your body, smirking as you gasp in surprise. 
“Are you surprised at my strength, little lamb?” he asks, injecting his smug demeanor into each word. “Thinking of us Angels as weaker beings compared to your precious Demon Lords, hm?”
He moves to stand before you, fingers dancing up your torso before reaching between your breasts to the band connecting the cups of your bra. He tugs, ripping the carefully-coordinated lingerie in two; your breasts spill out, and you shiver from the exposure, the room unexpectedly cold as your nipples harden. 
Simeon threads his hands into your hair, tugging you forward to his bed. You lower yourself to sit as he pulls your hair again, urging you to lay supine, on your back. You swallow, heart beating rhythmically; the wetness between your legs an obvious indicator of your abundant arousal. As if sensing this, he makes quick work of removing your jeans, sliding a few fingers across your panties, and smirking at the way your excitement seeps into the flimsy fabric.
“Naughty thing...have you no remorse either, just like these demons? Making yourself so wet, so lustful for me?” he purrs, rubbing his fingers harder against your panties and relishing your mewl of pleasure and aching desperation before tearing them off of your body, exposing your glistening heat. “Tsk, tsk.”
Briefly teasing his thumb over your sensitive bundle of nerves, Simeon steps back, smirking as he walks back to the nightstand. Turning your head to the side, you observe him, admiring the expanse of his back, the cutouts of his top that give a delicious peek at the defined muscles of his v-line. Watching as he pulls out rosary beads, metal glinting in the hazy low light of the room, adorned with a cross.
“Such an insatiable little slut,” he continues. “What exactly have you imagined me doing to you, little lamb? Perhaps you have lain in your bed at night, a hand between your legs, touching yourself to the thought of me doing something like…” 
Simeon pauses, lowering himself between your legs, placing featherlight kisses along the delicate flesh of your inner thigh; his teeth sink into the soft skin, eliciting a gasp of pleasure from your sinful lips as he makes his way to your sex. His tongue darts out to place a few slow, sensual licks into your sweet arousal, curling his tongue to fully taste your essence as his nails find purchase on your thighs.
“...this?”
He smirks again, your moans like the sweetest melody to his ears.
“You have no idea how badly I want you, pet,” Simeon moans, softly. 
His lips linger between your legs for a few blissful seconds before he pulls away, straightening himself and feeling his cock twitch at the sight of you spread open like a forbidden tome. He begins to drag the beads between your wet folds, soaking them in the nectar of your lewd excitement. You keen at the sensation, moaning as the beads massage the swollen bundle of nerves at your core. He leans over you and holds the rosary, slick and shining in the flickering candlelight, against your lips.
“Open your mouth and taste your sin on this sacred relic, sinner,” Simeon commands.
Your lips part, tongue reaching out; taking the beads in, tasting yourself off of them with a moan. Simeon’s cock strains harder against the constricting fabric of his white pants, desperate to give in to his carnal desire and bury himself between your walls. He swallows, urging himself to keep control, to not give in just yet. 
He needs to see you struggle just a bit more.
Easily sliding two fingers inside of your dripping heat, Simeon smirks at your lewd gasp, curling them upward to elicit another loud moan. He adds another finger, skillfully pumping and curling in a come-hither motion; your wetness dripping down his hand, spilling onto the top of your thighs.
“Oh, my...someone is certainly excited for me, hm?” he teases, pressing harder against your walls, smirking at your lewd, pleasure-filled gasp.
“First...I will recite a prayer of forgiveness for you, dirty sinner, as I have sincere doubts you know of it,” he spits. “You are not to cum until I am finished. If you do, you will face consequences.”
Simeon increases the pace of his fingers, continually pressing into that sweet spot, letting the sensation overcome you. His cock hardens, straining harder against his pants as he listens to your sweet, sweet moans; thoughts rendering nearly incoherent watching you arch your back in pleasure. His breath hitches as he inhales, closing his eyes and beginning to recite:
“Have mercy on me, O God,
according to Your unfailing love;
according to Your great compassion
blot out my transgressions.
Wash away all my iniquity
and cleanse me from my sin.
For I know my transgressions,
and my sin is always before me.
Against You, You only, have I sinned
and done what is evil in Your sight,
so that You are proved right when You speak
and justified when You judge...”
The Angel feels you tighten around his fingers, your impending release imminent. He continues his ministrations, reciting the prayer for both your repentance and his. 
“S-Simeon, I’m going to cum…,” you whine, gasping as your thoughts cloud over with pleasure.
He grins, relishing the way you cry out and arch your back as your release begins to grip you. You shudder, the blazing fire of your pleasure washing over your body as your back arches and body jerks forward. 
Simeon smiles, dark and wicked. You moan his name loudly as your fluid arousal gushes from between your legs, dripping down your thighs, making dark wet marks in his sheets; undeniable evidence of your sins displayed before him.
“Oh, little lamb,” he purrs, pulling his slick fingers from you. “I couldn’t even finish my prayer before you came all over my hand like the dirty little slut you are. I did say you would face the consequences if you could not control yourself. Now...”
Fingers threaded through your hair, Simeon tugs you up to a standing position. Legs shaking, you stumble, whimpering in surprise. He turns you around, gently, tracing a finger down your spine painstakingly slow, watching as the goosebumps prick your skin, shuddering in the feel of it. 
Your heart pounds, chest rising and falling rapidly, labored with the effort of your panting breath. Hands reach forward, tucking your own behind your back, wrist atop wrist. Cool metal kisses your skin as the Angel wraps the rosary beads around them, binding them together. He leans forward, gently pushing your hair aside before pressing a soft kiss into the back of your neck.
“Face me, beautiful girl,” he whispers into your ear, breath tickling against your skin.
You obey, turning slowly, head down. Simeon tucks a finger under your chin, lifting your face to meet his gaze with yours before moving his hand down, fingers lightly wrapping around your throat. 
“Kneel,” he orders. “You filthy fucking sinner. Get on your knees before me.”
He squeezes lightly, not enough to hurt but to emphasize before releasing his hand and tightening his grip on your hair as the Angel yanks you down to your knees. Your eyes widen, watching as he begins rolling down his white pants, exposing his swollen length. A nearly feral desire fills you, teeming with need; wanting nothing more than to get close to him, to nibble his hip bones and eyeing his hardness with frantic hunger. He looks down at you, a wicked grin turning up at the corner of his lips.
“You’re just like these demons,” he hisses, “no hesitation before giving in to your desires.”
Gripping his hand tighter in your hair, Simeon pulls your head forward and begins to thrust into your mouth, slowly at first, allowing you to adjust to him. His hips move back and forth, achingly slow, groaning in the feeling of his cock ensconced in the wet warmth of your mouth.
“I’m going to fuck your mouth, little lamb, and if you’re a good girl...perhaps I will indulge you, and fuck that tight little pussy. I will fill you with the seed of an angel, and you will be mine.”
Simeon increases the pace of his hips, rocking faster, caring little for your comfort. Desperately trying to relax your throat, a few gags escape your lips. His head drops back briefly in pleasure, groaning as he feels his cock slamming into the back of your throat. Tears form in the corners of your eyes, raining down your cheeks.
“Keep your eyes on me, my pretty little slut,” Simeon commands, bringing his head forward once more. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it?”
Your eyes flit to look up at him, face stained with tears as he fucks your mouth, focusing on his beautiful jewel-toned gaze. After a few more thrusts, he groans, tugging your hair and pulling you off of his cock, spit coating your chin as you inhale sharply and deep, relieved at the break.
“Get on all fours on my bed, lamb,” Simeon orders, “in a prayer position. Or is that unfamiliar to you?”
You nod, hands still bound behind your back by the sacred rosary. You rise to your feet slowly, legs shaking slightly, knees reddened, lines etched across them from the wooden floor biting into the skin. You turn around, making your way to Simeon’s bed, immaculately made. Simeon places a hand on the small of your back, guiding you onto the mattress, lowering your head to the pillow. Spreading your legs, you arch your back, backside pointed to the Celestial Realm.
“I suppose you can’t have your hands clasped in prayer before you when they’re bound behind your back,” he laughs. “Let’s fix that, shall we?”
Simeon removes the beads restraining your wrists, lacing his fingers through yours and squeezing briefly before moving your hands above your head. Removing his own, he intertwines your fingers, wrapping the rosary around your wrists painstakingly slowly before pulling them just barely tight enough to restrict their movements. 
Leaning forward, he presses a soft kiss to the back of your neck before lowering your head against the pillow. He teases a few fingers between your legs, thumb dancing over your clit. You mewl, pushing back against him, aching to feel him buried to the hilt inside of you.
“S-Simeon,” you whimper.
“You want to know what it’s like to be fucked by an angel, my pretty little sinner?” Simeon asks. “Beg me.”
Keening, you turn your head to look at the Angel behind you. Raw need flowing fiercely, your excitement coating your wet folds and dripping onto the backs of your thighs, shining in the hazy candlelit room as your lips part to beg.
“Please, Simeon, please fuck me,” you whine, voice laced with feverish desire. “I need to be fucked. Please.”
“Good girl.”
Satisfied with your mewling begs, Simeon decides to indulge you; though he also is indulging himself, hardly able to hold back anymore. He thrusts into you roughly, relishing your pleasurable cry of surprise as a smug smirk paints his face, contrasting his otherwise serene beauty.
 “You’re so tight and so wet for me, my beautiful sinner,” he breathes, groaning at the sensation.
He moves his hips back and forth achingly slow, allowing you to adjust to the stretch of his cock between your walls. Your own body pushes back against him, desperate for him to go faster, harder, burying himself to the hilt and he grins at your evident eagerness.
“Fuck me harder, Simeon, harder,” you keen, turning your head to the side and moaning. 
The Angel chuckles, bending forward, lips next to your ear; his warm breath kissing your skin as he speaks.
“You have been such a good little slut, I will indulge you...though you should be careful what you wish for, pet. We can be equally as relentless as demons,” he murmurs, nails digging into your hips.
His own hips snap into yours at an unforgiving pace, fingers tightening their grip, pulling you back in perfect time with his thrusts. The carnal sound of two bodies coming together pierces the otherwise still quiet of the room, lit by flickering candlelight; casting a sinful shadow across the room.
“Did you imagine this as well, when you touched yourself to thoughts of me at night? My cock buried inside of you, dripping all over me as I bring you immense pleasure?”
You cry out in ecstasy, each slam of his body against yours eliciting a mewling gasp from your lips. Simeon snakes a hand around you, thumb circling your clit. He spits on your back, continuing your song and dance to an animalistic rhythm only the two of you can hear.
“Is this exactly what you wanted, my little lamb? To lay with a Holy Being, so you can say that you’ve laid with the Highest and Lowest of beings in all the realms?” Simeon growls.
Another feral growl of pleasure rumbles from his chest, feeling your tight heat clenching down around him. He rubs your clit faster, thrusting harder, eager to coax out your release; desperate to feel his own.
“That’s right, my beautiful, filthy sinner. Cum for me. Scream my name and fill this Hell with the sounds of your repentance,” Simeon rasps, edging closer and closer to his climax. “Sing it to the highest of the heavens, the holy Celestial Realm. I want to hear that sweet melody of the sinful pleasure I am giving you. Cum for me.”
As if on cue, you shudder, feeling the sweet pleasure of your release ignite, pulsing waves of electricity across your body. 
“F-fuck, Simeon!” you moan, pulling against the rosary beads wrapped around your wrists, desperate to curl your fingers into his skin, the floor, anything as your orgasm grips you.
His own release chases yours, the sound of his name from spilling your lips as you are in the throes of ecstasy pushing him over the edge. He groans, filling you with the seed of his sin. Panting, Simeon presses his chest flush to your back, peppering soft kisses across your shoulders and the back of your neck as he unties the beads from your wrists. He pulls you into his arms, both of you breathing heavily; his head drops down to crash his lips against yours, stroking your cheek with his thumb.
“My little lamb,” he coos, kissing your cheek, “you are something else.”
Simeon grins at you, tilting your head up to meet his eyes. You can’t help but grin back at him, face shining in the afterglow of orgasm. His breath hitches, reaching another hand up to brush his thumb across your lips.
“God help me. I believe I am going to be reciting many prayers of forgiveness in the near future. I hope He doesn’t tire of hearing them.”
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jonbinary-archive · 4 years ago
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Sees you have headcanons for gender in the devildom/celestial relm. My eyes do the anime glasses thing dispite not wearing glasses.
GO ON
-videogamereference
YES YES thank you for asking abt this uhhh i have been dying to post something about it but i wasn't sure if other people would be interested ? since it's fairly niche but uhh apparently you would >.>
under the cut so as not to utterly flood people's dashes with my ramblings but! click if you'd like some unnecessarily in-depth discussion of 1) how the different realms in obey me deal with gender/gender identity and 2) my personal gender headcanons for the obey me characters. this is mostly pieced together from one night when i went all pepe silvia in discord but hopefully its now somewhat digestible. thanks for your patience! 
ok so first of all: all three realms interpret and approach gender differently. i don’t think any of them are inherently wrong or bad, it’s just unique ways of viewing the same concept. i prefer the devildom way of looking at it but to each their own :] it maybe goes w/o saying but trans people are supported in every realm, no matter how they view gender !
GENDER IN: THE HUMAN REALM
obviously, the human realm in the om! universe views gender pretty similarly to how our world does. this is sort of like our baseline, where humans generally view gender on a male/female binary. (tho i do like to think that this version of earth is more welcoming to nonbinary and trans people, just cuz i do like a bit of escapism <3)
ultimately gender in the human realm is the most simplified version we will see. i actually have a small headcanon that MC, regardless of gender, is referred to with they/them because this simple gender structure doesn’t translate over well to the other realms
GENDER IN: THE CELESTIAL REALM
with that in mind, we can talk about how the celestial realm views gender. this gets into the whole ‘what is the gender of angels/god’ which is probably outside my expertise to talk about, but i will anyway! 
the celestial realm views gender as, ultimately, unimportant. what matters about a person is who they are, like one’s willingness to help others. most of the angels present masculine and use he/him, as in the image of their Father. there are some who choose to use she or they or present feminine (or any combo of pronouns/presentation), but they arent necessarily ‘boy’ angels and ‘girl’ angels. 
it’s basically like this:
so what are you?
i’m an angel!
no, i mean, what’s your gender?
i’m a messenger of our Father
ugh, that’s not what i meant. what’s in your pants?
oh, so that’s where my halo went!
transitioning, for lack of a better term here, is pretty rare in the celestial realm, but it does happen occasionally. michael will update the records with their new name if they so choose, and celebrations are thrown heavenwide in honor of the angel!
GENDER IN: THE DEVILDOM
now, on the flip side, the devildom almost...reveres gender? since they’re the polar opposite of the celestial realm, demons tend to hold gender up into the spotlight instead of rejecting it. this is why we see so many demons presenting as men but having feminine aspects (like asmodeus wearing pink off the shoulder tops or the demons’ painted nails). 
for angels who Fall, this difference can be very jarring and hard to deal with when they become demons. expression is important in demon culture! while angels see all others as made in their Father’s image, demons emphasize the things that make them different from one another. fluidity of identity is particularly celebrated!
~
GENDER HEADCANONS: BROTHERS
now here’s the fun part, which is how i interpret these characters! feel free to let me know your own headcanons, i love seeing how others view the same characters :] 
LUCIFER: sure, he’s a demon now, but he still somewhat aligns with the celestial view of gender. to him, a person’s character is much more important than how they label themself. he’s just...lucifer. (agender man, he/him) 
MAMMON: has always considered himself a man! one of the rare instances of someone transitioning in the celestial realm. lucifer helped him pick his name :] (trans man, he/him)
LEVIATHAN: levi my beloved <3 ive shared some headcanons on levi’s gender in this post, as well as in the tags of this post. i think he really likes the freedom of demonic gender identity, and is very fluid (genderfluid, he/she/they/it)
SATAN: looooves fucking with gender, particularly if it irritates lucifer. he’s read a ton of gender theory and would love to have discussions about human gender with MC if they want. feels a connection to masculinity, but not to actually being a man (transmasculine, he/they)
ASMODEUS: loves fucking with gender even more than satan does. had gender with your mom last night ;) super gender non conforming, though most of the time you can’t even figure out what gender he is! basically the definition of ‘gender is a performance’ (nonbinary, he/she)
BEELZEBUB: probably doesn’t think too much about his gender. he was told he was a man so he just kind of goes with it. it’s really important to him to align with a healthy form of masculinity! doesn’t seek out pronouns beyond he/him, but wouldn’t mind she/her or they/them (nonbinary man, pronoun indifferent)
BELPHEGOR: similarly to beel, probably doesn’t think too much about his gender. he knows he enjoys being a brother and a twin, but doesn’t care much beyond that. he used to ascribe pretty heavily to celestial gender theory, but after Falling he’s shifted from gender apathy to like. seeing that feeling as his gender identity itself (agender man, he/him)
GENDER HEADCANONS: SIDE CHARACTERS
DIAVOLO: literally just a guy. like hes just a dude but in a slightly fucked up demon way (nonbinary man, he/him) 
BARBATOS: literally look me in the eyes and tell me this dude isn’t a he/they.  he’s not a man, he’s a butler (agender, he/they)
SIMEON: really subscribes to the celestial view of gender/believes that who you are in other people’s eyes is just as important as who you are in your own! doesn’t really identify w gender in any way since angels don’t technically have a binary to deviate from, but in human terms he is (nonbinary, mainly he/him but she/her ok too)
LUKE: also transitioned in the celestial realm! the brothers tease him, but if anybody misgenders the chihuahua, they should be prepared to eat shit (trans boy, he/him)
SOLOMON: started out as a sorcerer while trying to alchemize testosterone. he’s been living as a man so long that sometimes he forgets he’s trans in the first place (trans man, mainly he/him and occasionally they/them)
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hiilikeanimelol · 4 years ago
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IM BACK BITCHES
Hi im oli! (He/it)
I am a bisexual, trans and intersex guy, I am 18 and in my first year of university studying policing
-also hi cute little side note, it's highly likely that I am autistic so tone tags are always appreciated because tone just makes no sense to me ♡
♡KIN LIST♡
Undertaker (BB) we have matching piercings finally!
Tomura shigaraki (BNHA) I love him
Viktor hargeeves (UA) his coming out scene made me weep
Mammon (OM!SWD) my love
Rook hunt (TWST) French man
10th,11th and 12th doctor (doctor who)
main fandoms that I will waffle on about are:
GOOD OMENS MY GIRLFRIEND GOT ME INTO GOOD OMENS AND I LOVE HIM FOR THAT AND THEY SAID WE CAN GO TO A HALLOWEEN PARTY DRESSED AS CROWLEY AND AZIRAPHALE SHES SO SLSNSNSSNSBS
Doctor who
Twisted wonderland
Obey me
My hero academia
And
Attack on titan
Heartstopper
Umbrella academy
I am a massive music geek and am constantly listening to music, a lot of my playlists are made up of:
Random hand
KoRn
Slipknot
Green day
My chemical romance
Ricky Montgomery
Mitski
Waterparks
Metallica
Arctic monkeys
The virgin marys
CRASHFACE
A lot of the time I will waffle about my personal life too all of which will be under #ollie rambles
Any vents or rants will go under #ollies vents
Feel free to just block both these tags if you're only here for memes
I try my best to keep this blog organised but I've had it for a fucking while now, I lowkey want to start a new one thats organised but im afraid I've grown attached this blog over the time I've been active on it
I've made some amazing friends on this app and im always down for making more (heads up that I will be awkward for the first week of talking but then I'll settle down, social is difficult)
If anyone ever wants any other social media I have then feel free to send me a message or an ask and I'll give you my username in dm's, doesn't matter if we talk or not I just don't want my Snapchat and Instagram usernames out on tumblr
Little bit about me physically:
I have an industrial on my left ear and most of the time a silver skull hoops in my first lobes and skull studs in my seconds, I also have my helix pierced on my right ear which is also silver. I've got a silver septum which i have to flip up around familt because they told me i couksnt have it so i did it anyway lol. My hair is currently down to my chin (it needs cutting) and my roots are atrocious.
DNI IF YOU ARE
Racist
Homophobic / transphobic
Ableist
Sexist
Pro-life
Trump supporter
Believe MAPS are a part of the lqbtq
Are ginger /j
And also, do not come into my asks on anon and accuse me of faking ed's, self harm and suicidal thoughts. I have better things to fucking do then deal with your bullshit. Also don't just leave anonymous messages of
"She" "girl" "woman" "tranny" "faggot"
I have enough shit on my plate, go seek mental help xx
And also my dm's are open to anyone at all times, whether you just need a friend or if u want someone to talk to. I will never turn someone down if you want to vent or anything, ill listen to anyone about anything, if you want advice then I shall try my best and if you just want me to listen to get stuff off your chest then thats also fine.
If I think of anything else I'll add to this, ill make notes down here of when I update anything
~ the one and only oliver xx
Og post : 14/11/2021
First of many edits: I changed the physical stuff a bit 27/11/2021
Second edit: 04/01/2022
Third edit: age change 28/02/2022
Fourth edit: rewording and piercing changes 29/03/2022
Fifth edit: removed lost ear cuff in the physical description 16/04/2022
Sixth edit: added heartstopper into what I waffle on about 28/04/2022
Seventh edit: dyed my hair purple again!! 02/05/2022
Eighth edit: got second lobes pierced 17/05/22
Ninth edit: got helix pierced, hair colour faded baddddd, changed jewelery and added umbrella academy to intrests also added a current kin list 27/06/2022
Tenth edit: dyed my hair purple and got a silver septum ring and a silver lip ring 20/07/2022
eleventh edit: hair faded and im no longer a first year at college lol 23/08/2022
twelfth edit: got a job and dyed my hair red 08/09/2022
thirteenth edit: I'm now legally an adult 28/02/2023
fourteenth edit: updated my kin list from just the 10th doctor to the 11th and 12th too 15/03/2023
fifteenth edit: tone tag mention and changed my jewelry 04/04/2023
sixteenth edit: mm hair dye 16/04/2023
17th edit: I'm back! Still severely depressed but I'm here. been working mad hours and spent the last 7 days high with no breaks 08/08/2023
18th edit : got my septum pierced, broke up with my SHITTY ex and got with someone who treats me the way I'm supposed to be treated AND I've started uni 11/09/23
19th edit : GOOD OMENS EEK!! 17/10/2023
20th edit : got a mullet kinda thing and dyed it dark blue 12/12/2023
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ruewrites · 4 years ago
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I posted 796 times in 2021
193 posts created (24%)
603 posts reblogged (76%)
For every post I created, I reblogged 3.1 posts.
I added 1,440 tags in 2021
#obey me - 475 posts
#obey me asmodeus - 219 posts
#obey me solomon - 135 posts
#rue speaks - 134 posts
#solodeus - 127 posts
#obey me lucifer - 81 posts
#ruewrites - 76 posts
#obey me diavolo - 69 posts
#asmodeus x solomon - 63 posts
#obey me barbatos - 61 posts
Longest Tag: 137 characters
#when we fought over my tablet on the bed bc i kept getting got everytime you wanted to show me something (and it was this video) and then
My Top Posts in 2021
#5
Diavolo: I wish I had friends :(
*Barbatos poofs out of nowhere*
*the brothers fall*
Diavolo: :O
Diavolo: I wish my Dad would come home :D
126 notes • Posted 2021-09-27 23:52:26 GMT
#4
Some gay little headcannons because I'm gay and I feel like people forget that our faves are also gay. (Also give me your gay headcannons. I love seeing them in my inbox). Please take note of the way my brain starts to get into giggle mode the farther we get down the list, because you can't be gay and not chaotic. Those are just the rules my dudes. Also the entire cast is a disaster and only shares one brain cell. So.
Lucifer Distinguished Bi. Dresses smart, classy dad. Probably takes you out for lobster on the first date.
Mammon is a Bi Disaster. Disaster Bisexual. Man can't admit his feelings. Wants to be cool but internally is a mess.
Leviathan Demi and Bi. Also Trans Levi? Trans Levi. Netflix and chill except he will actually watch the show. Your dates may last more than one day binging 3 seasons of a show. But it's always fun!
Satan Distinguished Pan. Takes you out for salmon because Lucifer takes people out for lobster. Also cats like fish, and Lucifer won't be there. Did he mention Lucifer won't be there? Lucifer won't be there.
Asmodeus Pan and Genderfluid. He has the range, can be the prettiest princess you ever saw OR sweep you off your feet in the sharpest suit. Whatever the case, he will always make sure he is the center of attention.
Beelzebub Demi and Pan. Gym dates gym dates gym dates. Takes his dates for a kiss in the Arby's parking lot because the stars look great. And jamocha shakes are really good (Sponsor me Arby's).
Belphegor Also Demi and Pan! The best cuddling dates you will ever have. The best cuddles you will ever have period.
Diavolo DISASTER PANSEXUAL. Man radiates chaotic energy. Lucifer took him out for lobster. He set the lobsters free.
Barbatos Nonbinary Demi. Will make a special blend of tea for you. He treats it like a science. He makes sure it sceams you, but not scream at you. If your tea screams at you that means something went terribly wrong. Please don't drink screaming tea thank you.
Solomon Pan disaster. Took him little bit to realize he was attracted to men. He wasn't in denial, just a lil oblivious to his own feelings. Asmo definitely sends him straight into gay panic mode.
Simeon Pan. His lover will always be his lil dove, no matter what. I feel like he writes love letters with his own feathers as quills, but they're always sweet and flowery. No it's not because he doesn't know how to send and email... or a text.... it's just more romantic this way.
Oh AND! They're all poly/open to being poly too😊
Feel free to send in your headcannons as well!
130 notes • Posted 2021-11-21 01:00:13 GMT
#3
Sometimes I think about how in Solodeus that Solomon is the boyfriend people would disapprove of and worry about despite Asmo being a litteral demon. Lucifer interrigates him before he lets him take Asmo out. Just something to think about.
138 notes • Posted 2021-08-15 18:42:43 GMT
#2
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425 notes • Posted 2021-12-05 14:55:02 GMT
#1
Listen
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Diavolo has a type
525 notes • Posted 2021-12-05 05:06:45 GMT
Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →
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commander-diomika · 4 years ago
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Pairing: Zolf Smith/Cel Sidebottom Word Count: 2100 Rating: Mature Additional Tags: Spanking, Asexual Character, Non-Sexual Kink, Kink Negotiation, RQG kinktober, Kinktober 2021, Aftercare Prompt: Spanking Summary: Cel has a favourite method of stress relief that they haven't indulged in awhile. Zolf seems like the kind of person who would be able to help. Notes: Trans feminine non binary Cel coz why not? You know they've got the potions to make just about anything work.
Cel has always admired Zolf’s hands. Like a miniature of his stature, they were broad, probably twice the breadth of Cel’s slender ones, and yet there was something so deft and gentle about them. The way that Zolf tied a complex knot, or kneaded dough, held a certain fascination for them.
“I wanted to ask something from you, Zolf. A favour, probably, and I know you like helping people but I don’t want you to feel like you have to say yes but I was just thinking that if y-”
Zolf held up one of those delightful hands and Cel stopped. “I’m listenin’, Cel. What can I do for you?”
“There’s this thing, that I like, it’s sort of a stress relief thing, and I haven’t had a chance to do it in a long time and I know you would be very good at it-”
“Cel. Specifics, please? I can’t say yes ‘r no if you don’t tell me what you’re askin’.”
Cel took a sharp breath in, their eyes bright and guileless, “I’d like you to spank me.”
Zolf looked momentarily poleaxed. Wherever he might have guessed this was going, that was NOT it.
“But I want to say, it’s not a sex thing. It’s honestly just,” they fluttered their hands as if extrapolating, “-nice! And I came to you because I know that you wouldn’t read into that anything that wasn’t there because, well, that’s just the kind of person you are.”
Zolf turned the idea over slowly, not even realising when he started to slightly nod his head. “I reckon I could do that for you.”
Cel led Zolf to their room, face glowing with excitement.
“Ok!”
Zolf wasn’t sure what to do with his hands, or how to get started on such a strange request, but he trusted that Cel knew enough about their needs to lead the way.
“Now, first question. Would you be comfortable if I was naked? I know some people make a big thing out of nudity. Honestly, I’d just be more comfortable that way, but! Only if you are also comfortable with that.” For once Cel actually managed to finish their sentence and waited for Zolf’s response, head tilted.
Zolf shrugged. He was on a similar page when it came to nudity. It meant exactly no more or less than what people assigned to it. “Whatever you like. This is your show.”
Cel beamed and started on the buttons of their shirt. Zolf admired the unique aesthetics of their body as they undressed, long limbs, surprisingly square and sinewy shoulders, small peaked breasts and their prick resting soft between their legs.
They left the goggles perched jauntily on the top of their head. Zolf, whilst not completely certain what they did, knew they were magically imbued. He didn’t find it too strange that Cel might prefer to leave them on even in an intimate situation. Or if it was strange, no more than Cel usually was.
“Do you think I’ll be at a workable height if I lean over this desk?” Without waiting for a response, Cel cleared the surface of said desk with a tinkling clatter of metal and mystery components.
Zolf’s mouth twitched in a fond smile. “Should be right.”
With another absolutely winning smile, Cel turned, moved the chair, and leant their long torso over the surface, perching on their elbows. The table was of a height that folded them to a right angle, maybe a bit sharper if they rested their chest all the way down.
Cel looked over their shoulder, stomach giving a little thrill of excitement as Zolf came over. It really had been too long, and they were looking forward to having those lovely hands on their backside.
Zolf rested on hand in the small of Cel’s back, and waited, as if for some kind of starting signal.
Right! Cel realised through their anticipation. For all that Zolf always radiated an air of reassuring competency, there was every chance he’d never done this before. Perhaps Cel had gotten slightly ahead of things by stripping off and presenting their bare arse to him over a desk.
“So, if you just… give me a few whacks and I’ll let you know where things stand? Focus on this rounded part-“ they indicated with a hand “- but I’d like it if you went down my thighs a bit as well.”
“I’m guessin' you’d prefer if I try not to touch b’tween your legs.” Zolf clarified.
“Yes, correct. There’s “nice, neurochemically stimulating pain,” and “ouch no fun” pain and I’d definitely prefer the former and not the latter. If you just keep a nice steady pace, the area will warm as blood comes to the surface in a mild inflammation response, my tolerance will build, and you’ll be able to increase intensity.”
Zolf smiled that fond little smile again as Cel continued. “We can calibrate a nice starting spot together. I don’t think you’ll get too carried away, but if it’s too much I’ll just say “stop” or if I need a moment I’ll say “pause.””
Zolf simply nodded. That was the information he had been seeking, plus the typical Cel extra. “Ready?” was all he said.
Cel nodded, and Zolf wound up and gave their buttock a smack with a tempered amount of force. Their arse was quite lean and firm beneath his hand.
“Oof! Yes! You can go up from there, by about twenty percent to start.”
Zolf wasn’t entirely sure his understanding of his strength could be broken down to a percentile, but he did his best.
Together, they calibrated. He’d give two or three spanks, Cel would offer feedback, and he’d go again. After two or three rounds of this, Cel settled their chest all the way down to the desk, cushioning their head on their forearms.
“That’s perfect, Zolf, thank you! Continue just like that!” They gave their hips a little inviting wiggle. “Please,” they added as an afterthought, voice slightly muffled into the desk.
Zolf gave a small chuckle and continued.
He settled into a rhythm; It was surprisingly satisfying. By Cel’s metric he was probably using about fifty percent of his strength, alternating cheeks with one hand still resting in the small of Cel’s back. He brought the blows down their thighs and was rewarded with a little squirm and a delighted puff of air from Cel as he did so.
Zolf’s palm grew warm, and Cel’s pale skin reddened beneath the firm blows. He watched their torso melt a little further into the desk, and when they turned their head, he noted that same red flush across their cheekbones. He slowed momentarily when they gave a small moan, but they hadn’t asked for a pause, so he could only take that as a good sign.
A few minutes later Zolf changed hands, coming to stand on the other side of them. He expected the small pause to be filled with Cel’s usual chatter, but they remained silent.
Zolf didn’t think he’d ever been a room with Cel without hearing them speak for this length of time.
When his other hand had grown as warm from impact as the first, Cel spoke. “Pause.” Their voice was breathy in a way that Zolf had never heard before. He paused, and without thinking took both hands and gave both of Cel’s arsecheeks a massaging squeeze. Cel sighed with pleasure.
“My tolerance has definitely gone up. If you could increase the intensity? I can take about twenty to thirty percent more.” They dropped their head back onto their forearms, and again, after a sufficient pause for it to occur to them, they added, “Please.”
Zolf gave what was asked of him. The flesh under his palms was achingly warm now, and on the rounded parts where he had been hitting most frequently, there was a slight raised area, starting to darken from flushed pink to a deeper, purple tinged colour.
When they asked for another pause, this time they sounded drunk. They got their arms underneath them and straightened up.
“Had enough?” Zolf asked, his voice coming out a little rougher than he’d intended.
“No, no it’s just-” They turned blinked somewhat owlishly at him, their cheeks a delightful shade of pink. “My legs are starting to give, a little. Which is good! I am nicely full of the endorphins released by this kind of process.”
They licked their lips, and Zolf couldn’t help but think that Cel looked incredibly cute like this.
“If it alright with you…” For the first time in this whole scenario, they sounded hesitant. “Could I lie down? In your lap, maybe? Only if you’re comfortable with that.”
Zolf swallowed. As they came up off the desk and turned, Zolf couldn’t help but let his eyes dip to their crotch. Well, he didn’t have to dip very far, with their height difference. Cel’s prick was still soft between their legs. Perhaps if they had been hard, he might have felt awkward about taking them into his lap, but it seemed they had been accurate in reporting that this was purely about sensation for them.
He nodded, and went to settle on Cel’s bed. Before Cel joined him, their hands fluttered, reaching toward their head as they considered something. “Hm,” was all they said, again surprising Zolf with their lack of patter.
Cel clambered onto the bed with shy smile. They crawled over him and draped their long body across his thighs, arse perked up over his lap. Zolf could feel a touch of tension in the body where it touched his. Cel turned their head to look at him, thoughtful through their slightly sensation-drunk haze.
“Um,” they said, and brought their hands up, delicately removing the goggles and handing them to Zolf. “Could you put those on the dresser, please?”
Zolf couldn’t help but feel he was being handed something more than a pair of goggles as he obeyed.
Cel closed their eyes, and sighed, unsteady but relieved. “Could you- not hard- but could you hold onto my hair?” Again, Cel was shyer than Zolf had come to expect from them. “Only if your comfortable with it.”
Zolf smiled and his stomach swooped a little at that. There was something warm in his chest, this feeling of being trusted with something rare and precious. “Sure.”
He curled one hand into the short hair at the nape of Cel’s neck, and as he gripped, he felt that last measure of tension go out of the body resting against his.
“Ready?” He asked softly. Cel nodded, slightly pulling their own hair in his grasp.
The shift in energy from the desk to the bed was palpable as Zolf started up his firm blows again. Cel sighed, and whimpered and shifted against him, and this time they didn’t need to speak; Cel had fed Zolf enough data for him to be able to read the request for more, and harder, and faster. He felt his own breath start to quicken from exertion, let his smacks rise and swell and push, seeking more of those little pleasured gasps that Cel now seemed more comfortable releasing.
He wasn’t quite giving them everything he had, but through the nice, dreamy rhythm he had fallen into, he found himself marvelling that this skinny alchemist could take as much as they were. The sweet spots of Cels’ arse was now dark with pre-bruising and their toes curled and rubbed into the coverlet on the bed.
He gave a few hearty spanks and Cel gasped into the covers. Zolf felt them go completely limp. Suddenly there was just a puddle of sweaty half-elf in his lap.
“Cel? Hey now.” He ran his hand up Cel’s spine, suddenly worried. “Is that enough?”
Cel groaned out an assent and rubbed their face against the covers. If they were wiping away tears, Zolf didn’t mention it. “Yes. I- thank you, Zolf.”
He helped Cel off his lap and they laid their long body out flat, their tall hair flattened with sweat against their forehead. They smiled dreamily at him. “That. Was. Perfect.”
Zolf felt any worry drain out of him, and his heart felt full and delighted. There was nothing he liked more than helping people, no matter that this was a new and unconventional method of doing so.
“Is there anythin’,” his voice felt wobbly and he cleared his throat to try again. “Anythin’ you need now? Healin’, water?”
Cel shook their head at both the offers, then smiled, a bit less bright than their usual smile, something hazier and more relaxed. “Actually. I wouldn’t mind a hug. Only if you’re-”
“-comfortable with that,” he finished with Cel and their mouth twisted wryly. “’Course.” He laid down next to them and gathered the loose-limbed half-half elf to his chest.
They stayed like that for a long moment, before Cel piped up, their voice sounding steadier for being held. “Zolf?”
“Mm?”
“I just realised- uhm- should we perhaps have sound proofed the room first?”
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sat-soft · 5 years ago
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How you, as a cis girl can help make the Obey Me! fandom more welcoming to your male, trans, and nonbinary friends:
I want to preface with a big fat: I DO NOT SPEAK FOR ALL MEN OR TRANS PEOPLE IN THE FANDOM. I am in a trans/NB group for the fandom on discord and am mentioning things that we, in the group, believe is supportive. There will always be some people who won't feel dysphoric reading things addressed at a different gender or seeing MC being assumed as female but a lot of us do feel dysphoric at that, don't want to block half the fandom's creators, and often feel unheard in our plights.
1. If you're a writer, consider gender neutral the "default" for MC.(If you're writing smut and want to specify genitals, you don't have to address MC as he or she. But please still mark if you do specify genitals!)
2. Reblog and show your love for your favorite GN MC writers(everyone loves @prideful-sins right? Show him love) Tell the writers making an effort to be inclusive that you appreciate them!
3. Point out exclusivity where you see it: speak up when you hear people in a group invalidating non-female fans, if you see people saying things that you'd feel gross if you were a male/NB fan reading them, point it out.
4. When talking about MC(not someone's specific OC but MC in general) or making a writing request, refer to MC with they/them pronouns as is done in game.
5. Put in the tags and title of your writing whether the MC in your work is GN, female, or male.
We appreciate you!
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sidecarghost · 4 years ago
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Spn Pride Week - Day 3 Trans
AU human!Cas is human and no supernatural. Trans man Dean talks to Cas about how his mom and dad failed at supporting him when he was four years old. Cw: transphobia (no derogatory terms just John is an ass and Mary rather keep their home life calm so she enables his bigotry and fails to be supportive of Dean)
"Dean?" Cas’s voice interrupts Dean’s reverie.
"Mmhmmm," Dean's face is nuzzled between Cas's shoulders, so making intelligent words isn't easy.
"Would you be comfortable about telling me when you found out you were a man?" Cas asks in his deep, soft voice.
Dean sighs. He wants to tell Cas everything, but some stories are just so sad. Dean isn't sure that he can share those stories and still be himself afterwards. He'd like those stories to float down a river and sink into the ocean, where no one can ever find them again. Including Dean. Especially Dean.
"I don't want to pry Dean, but if you are alright sharing that with me, then I would like to hear it and know you better," Cas's voice is gentle like a breeze, and Dean wants to roll himself up in it. The voice would shield him from anything that was attempting to impale and destroy him.
Dean is glad that his face is nuzzled into Cas's back. Maybe he can share this story as well supported as he is. He has the man he loves wrapped in his arms, and he gets to nuzzle into him like a pillow. Everything seems safe, warm, and otherworldly, if Dean was going to tell Cas unsettling things that give him nightmares then this would be the right place and right time to do it. If only he wasn't always so scared. If only he wasn't so broken.
"Always," Dean whispers into the neck of the man he loves. "I always knew, ever since my first memory." Dean exhales and inhales. Dean closes his eyes and tries to squeeze out the pictures of the past that spring up in his mind. He tries to bury the contempt of his father's face. He seeks out a gentler memory instead. Dean brings to mind one of the last conversations he ever had with his mother. "My mom knew I was a boy, and after she died it would be ten years before anyone else knew again.
***
"It came up, back when I was four years old and Sammy was still a baby. Everyone kept congratulating my mom and dad over the birth of baby Sammy, they told my parents that Sam would grow up to be a strong, handsome man. And I didn't understand. I wondered how could these strangers possibly know that Sam would grow into a strong, handsome man? Couldn't he just as easily grow into a strong, handsome woman? I asked my father why everyone thought Sam was a boy, and he told me that boys have penises and girls have vaginas. Then he laughed and said something like 'out of the mouths of babes' and ruffled my hair. I didn't understand how my dad could be so sure, but I also didn't want to ask my dad to explain, because he didn't like lengthy explanations. He had taught me that lies take a lot of words to explain, and the truth is always simple, and when I asked him to explain what he meant he struck me. Because I was guilty of talking back and giving him lip. So I knew better than to ask my dad to elaborate.
"Instead, I sought my mom out to see if she could help me understand, and I remember I was so sad that it took a lot of will power to bite back crying. I knew I shouldn't be sad, because my dad explained to me that being sad is the same thing as being lazy. If you have enough energy to cry you should have enough energy to fix whatever mess made you feel bad in the first place.
"So I put on my brave face, and I asked my mother why I had to be a girl. My mom had been rocking baby Sammy, but she looked right into my eyes with all her attention focused on me. Like my question was important and serious, and not a joke like I worried it might be from my dad's reaction. She told me that was nonsense, and that no one ever had to be a girl. My mom told me about her own mother Deanna that had been born as Dean, then learned she was a girl and changed her name. Then Deanna married Samuel, and he had been born with the name Samantha, until he let everyone know he was a boy and changed his name. My mom told me no one can look at you and know if you are a man or a woman, only you know for yourself.
"Cas, I don't know if I can ever properly explain how wonderful that story was to me. I had been ready to bawl my eyes out that I had been born wrong, but my mom told me that wasn't true at all. My dad was the one that was wrong, because everyone knew that Deanna was grandma and Samuel was grandpa. There was never any doubt. I was so happy. Maybe that was the last time I was ever truly happy. I imagined myself telling my dad that he made a mistake explaining things to me. In my head, my dad would laugh over how silly his mistake had been, and then he would ruffle my hair and tell me that he was sorry about that. He'd pull me into a hug and say he was so proud to have two sons. I would return the hug as big as I could, and then tell him we should probably wait until Sam can talk to make sure we don't make another mistake." Dean wishes that was the end of the story. The images of a lifetime ago of a happy homelife that he imagined in his head could have been reality. It all seemed so possible back then.
"Your mother sounds like a very caring person, Dean," Cas says softly.
"She was caring, but things between us were never the same again. I think she cared a little too much about keeping things peaceful and avoiding conflict. Sometimes you need to fight for something you love," Dean says wistfully. "Anyway, before I ran off to tell my dad his error, I asked my mom why dad didn't know that. Why did dad think you can look at someone and assume they are a boy or girl without ever asking them?
"My mom got really still at that question, and she looked so sad like her spirit had been dragged away and she'd never be able to reach it again. When she answered my question her voice was distant and cold, like she was just saying the words but they had no meaning. My mom told me that sometimes people fear things that aren't the same as them, and this fear leads them to hate things. She told me it was like a disease that would eat at people's thoughts and turn them the wrong way. People with that disease would judge others without ever even meeting or knowing them.
"My mom told me that John wasn't a bad man. John was just suffering from a bad disease. Sometimes the disease is incurable, because it takes a very strong will to admit when you are wrong and that you've done wrong to others. My mom told me I must never let my father find out I'm not a girl, because as long as that disease clouds his thoughts he will hate me. She told me that she would pray for John to be cured of his hatred, but in the meantime I would need to conceal who I was and act like I'm a girl. I told my mom I was afraid of my dad hating me, and my mom told me that I could pray to the angels that watched over us if I needed protection. I had never seen angels, but my mom had faith in them. I kind of understood faith meant you believe something without proof. So I told my mom that I would pray for their protection, and I would pray to them to help dad get better, too.
"I didn't tell my mom, but I also prayed that Sam would never catch John's hatred disease, because I loved my little brother so much. I didn't want Sam to hate me.
“The prayers my mom made weren't answered before her death. There was a fire in our house, and my mom didn't make it out alive. Sam was still a little baby, and I held him close and carried him to safety. My dad tried to save my mom, but he couldn't reach her. He told me that the fire was supernatural, because of the downfall of society. He told me that monsters were being sent to punish everyone, even the innocent people like our mother, because bad people failed to obey God and his plan for how we should live. I didn't care about God, his plan, or his monsters. I just missed my mother, and I wanted to weep because I'd never get to hear her voice or see her smile again. But I knew my dad would strike me if he saw me crying, because I should be fighting the monsters that did this and not be indulging myself in sadness.”
"Dean, you know your dad didn't have a disease right?" Cas asks. "He chose to be a bigot. Calling it a disease is just a way to keep him innocent of blame, but every hateful thing he ever did to your mom, Sam, and you was his choice. There was no disease or monster to blame."
"Yeah, it took me too long, but I eventually figured that out, too," Dean replies.
//this excerpt is from ongoing story on ao3 see tags for link
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