#can you tell im psyching myself up to cook

[hornsketch]

[juni-ravenhall]

first off thank you for the kind comments on my post. i dont have energy to go there and reply. it sadly also doesnt change anything for me, which is not to say it doesnt matter, i did go back and read those comments maybe 20 times while crying my eyes out during the time i was at the hospital. but feeling loved by friends and strangers doesnt cure me (which i hope is understandable) so all i can say is thank you even if it doesnt make me less suicidal.

im at parents place as of now instead of psych ward, not because i feel any better (on the scale of 0-10 "can i survive this or do i kill myself", ive been at 0.01 every past day since friday, before friday i had been at 0.1 for months, right now maybe im at 0.02) but because i cannot get any help from the psych and it felt meaningless to stay. if its just to get cooked food handed to me, i could equally be at my parents house, despite that i have strained relations with them due to how they abused and traumatised me and my siblings and are still messy today even if more mellowed.

a healthcare worker will visit either tomorrow or monday to check on me and see if they want to push me to come back to being at the hospital. the place i was, was the kind of place where you cant have any strings in your room bc you could kill yourself, so they took my pants and shoes when arriving.

not sure what else to say. at parents house, still suicidal bc life is meaningless but im pushing myself to keep trying as long as i can. ive already been fighting this since 2017 (the first time i became suicidal, a switch flipped during a time of additional abuse on top of the regular abuse and i realised no amount of my endless optimism and effort could change the hell i am in) and im exhausted of trying.

i doubt i will go on sso bc its triggering. if i regain any sort of ability to focus on doing anything, i might start working on my own games again, bc thats a place where its only me and im free from everyone else. however, i have no motivation to do anything, which is why i want to die. i have no motivation to get up in the morning. i have no motivation to eat, i want to spit out food and couldnt swallow. i dont feel happiness in doing things that other people feel. i dont feel happiness interacting with friends - i feel a passive sort of happiness but not the deep, true joy and distraction from the pain that im supposed to feel. therefore its also hard to say i would be able to create things if i feel nothing and apathetic (i already largely felt this since 2017, which is why i havent been making much, but now its even worse).

if anyone read this far and you are interested in me or care about me a lot, feel free to reach out in dms and talk. now is the time. im not saying that because it will change anything for me, its highly unlikely to have any concrete effect on me at all. i say it more for your sake if you have things you wanted to tell me or if you wanted to know me better. this is that time. i cant promise what will happen after this. but if i feel as i feel right now, i will keep trying to log on here and there while i otherwise mostly cry and stare at the ceiling (again, unless i become able to start doing anything more interesting, which i cant tell if i will).

i will also try (no promise but try) to go back to the hospital if i become actively suicidal again as i was friday, bc juni (my inner bigger sister) is a stubborn fool and is trying really hard to keep me alive.

[00belle00lovely00]

ok uhmm... This is a bit akward🥲 but can you make Bobby x Picky headcanons? Plss I need more content of them😭😭😭 Im starving😭😭😭😭

ALR YALL

LEMME RISE UP FROM HELL TO RESPOND TO ALL THESE AWSOME HEADCANONS!

AFTER A FEW MORE, LIKE A FEW 4 OR SO... I.... I UH... I DON'T KNOW IF I WANT TO DO THIS ANYMORE.

TOO MANY HEADCANONS YA'LL.

I DON'T LIKE MAKING YA'LL WAIT DAYS FOR THIS IM SO SORRY

🍎❤️🩷❤️🍎🩷🍎❤️🩷❤️🍎🩷🍎❤️🩷❤️🍎🩷🍎❤️🩷❤️

The chef x the mfer who is putting love potions inside the food.

OKAY- I HAD TO THINK ABOUT THE SHIP NAME FOR SO LONG THAT I THINK I GOT IT. WHAT YA'LL THINK ABOUT ✨FILLING-LOVE✨ AS IN- FEELING LOVE AND FILLING WITH EATING TOO MUCH ARTFSUDHJGFASJDGFALSJDGFAISDHF.

They'd be watching any cooking show that has ABSOLUTELY TERRIBLE DRAMA BUT IT WOULD BE FUNNY AS HELL HOW BAD THEY MESS UP THE FOOD TO THEM

Lovey-dovey and sucker for romance pansexual x "that's my lady right there you'll, can't get better than this you guys" lesbian and food enjoyer

Alright, hear me out on this one you guys. Bobby + chocolates + giving them to picky = INSTANT GIRLFRIEND!

Live laugh love country Picky. We all want a home girl to have an Applejack kind of accent. And as for Bobby?... HMMMM... I KINDA WANT HER TO BE FRENCH. IT WOULD MAKE SENSE, RIGHT? (pls, don't go after me in the comments I'm Hispanic-french myself.)

WE ALL KNOW. WE ALL KNOW PICKY GOTTA CARRY MISS LOVERGAL LIKE THE STRONG GIRL SHE IS. SHE GOTTA!!!!

let's all just agree that picky GOTTA snort when she laughs.

I always like to think that Picky is an in-denial hypocrite, especially when it comes to eating. She's the one in the group always scolding everyone for not eating healthy as it is, yet SHE is the one that sneaks on 3 AM in the middle of the night to each last week's cake from Kickin's party. And yet... rather coincidentally and out of pure chances, Bobby is a sucker for sweets too. So they just work each other out in helping each other with eating problems AND/OR trying to make an excuse to eat dessert before dinner.

PDA?... is that even a question with Bobby around?

THEY'RE SO GAY AND IN LOVE IT MAKES ME WANNA GO ARTUYIGFYDSJKAOIGFYUDJSAKJHUFVDBNSDBHJDIOFOAIHSOASJBCKJSDJFKKWJEF-

WAIT OML, THIS IS OUT OF CONTEXT BUT, I JUST THOUGHT OF SOMETHING. WHAT IF BOBBY LIKED GREEK MYTHOLOGY- O H... OH, SHE WOULD ABSOLUTELY ADORE EROS AND PSYCHE. GREAT ROMANCE STORY, I TELL YOU. Well, of course, it gotta be, Eros is literally in the early stages of Cupid's image.

Once again, I bestow before you one of my favourite headcanons; Bobby has separation anxiety. And BECAUSE of that she would be messaging/spamming on Picky phone about where she was, if she would come over, if she wanted HER to come over, if they wanted to hang out, etc. What was Picky doing meanwhile? The simple answer passed out on the floor after thinking it was a good idea to try to mix all fast foods known to man into a single meal.

they're both dumb but they don't know it/know it.

YOU GUYS. EVEN BOBBY WRITES FANFICS ABOUT HERSELF AND HER LOVERS. CHANGE MY MIND. YOU GUYS KNOW IT.

Picky would be so proud of pulling up Cupid herself lmao.

YOU GUYS. 👏BOBBY👏WOULD👏TOTALLY👏BOOP👏PICKY'S👏SNOUT.👏 IT GOTTA HAPPEN. EITHER A BOOP OR A KISS IT'S OUTTA HAPPEN.

I think Bobby would treat this relationship like they were in some romantic novel.

@11sugarplum11 (since you ALSO asked for it! Dw didn't forget about you!)

That's it you guys, maybe I'll be answering a few 4 or less but I'm REALLY stressed about catching up to all the commissions. I hope im not breaking anybody's hopes for all of their headcanons to be answered.

I STILL HAVE 8 MORE TO ANSWER YOU GUYS... PLEASE- I NEED TO FINISH A LOT OF STUFF.

🙏

PLEASE. PLEASE- PLEASE DONT HATE ME YALL PLEASE-

[compassionatereminders]

I've been going through it so this is just to get it out somehwere mostly, any response you have would be appreciated!

I feel like theres just like, a constant negative Something just, persisting in me lately. It's probably not being helped by the facts that I finished my degree recently so now i have to start Adulting which, feels extremely weird and vague and unpleasant and stressful, plus I'm bored out of my mind in terms of any distractions/coping, I feel like ive run everything I'd normally use to destress myself totally dry.

I also wind up regularly spent because I'm almost always the one cooking dinner, and the only time to take good walks to get exercise in right now gets me back at most an hour before i have to cook so that my family doesnt eat late.

Which isnt even factoring in how i Still, dont have a job. I've been taking swings at things I think I would be genuinely good at, and nothing. Plus I'm also trying to get started freelancing and like, having to make deadlines for myself for projects im on even just in a purely casual sense has also been mentally draining, but i feel Really Useless if i just take time to rest and recharge.

In short, i am very very tired, even though I feel like I have no right to be, and I'm just glad i have a psych appointment booked in a few days, its the same psych who got me my ASD diagnosis, so if this is some kind of burnout, i hope she can help, thanks for reading.

You don't have to earn the right to struggle and be tired. Don't tell yourself that you have "no right to struggle", because the world isn't fair and anyone's brain or body can start being hard on them for any reason and it's never a personal failure ❤️

[ed-recovery-affirmations]

So I hope you don’t mind my rant 🪻

Basically Ive been fighting my undiagnosed issue for years. I dont feel valid enough to call it an ED. But basically I went through a very stressful time years ago leading me to severely restrict my intake and only eat one meal a day which obviously lead to weekly binges. I purged everyday for several months. Lost a significant amount of weight. When the stressor left I maintained my new lower weight . the behavior persisted for years albeit to a lesser extent.

I had come to a place where while self conscious i was somewhat healthy. I ate well and enjoyed cooking and baking. I had treats without worries. I loved dancing and actually had energy to exercise and adored it. I did struggle with a constant urge to exercise though. Id been purge free for an entire year and I have been binge free for a few years

April comes and the stress of that time throws me back into restriction. At first I tell myself its okay. I make an effort to harm reduce and I eat three meals a day. Even with taking vitamins and exercising and losing weight the so called healthy way I have stomach pains and bloating, Im exhausted.

It continues and worsens and I restrict lower and lower. Often skipping a meal or only having one. My fatigue is terrible, I struggle to sleep and my anxiety is out of control. My skin is dry. My stomach gets painfully full easily. I am emotional. I cry all the time. I have sharp chest pains and I am cold. I an constantly dizzy and it is hard to breath when I stand up.

I am barely underweight. But I want to feel better.

Ive already been to the doctor twice but was too afraid to come forward about the restriction. Im going to a cardiologist soon.

Here is the real issue. I lied on the mental helath screening bcs I was afraid of being committted into a psych ward and My pcp recommended therapy. I made an appt and then cancelled. Since my anxiety is now so bad i cant manage i call to reschedule and try it and give it an honest effort.

Just the thought of going made me so upset I began purging again half of me wants to hide my issue from my therapist or cancel and the other half wants to come forward and see about getting help. This is also encouraging me to lose more because i feel i have to be sicker in order to get a diagnosis or be deserving of help. Im also so afraid of being committed or going to inpatient. It is my biggest fear. What do I do ?

I don't mind your rant, anon. It sounds like you're dealing with something really difficult and I think you are indeed allowed to call it an eating disorder.

I can understand your fear around being diagnosed, as it can change your life significantly. At the same time, anon, you will not be able to get help unless you take the steps to reach out for it (and follow through on them!) I know it's really hard and really scary, especially the thought of going to inpatient.

I get a lot of people saying "I feel like I need to be sicker." However, on the flipside, imagine all the people who've done lasting health damage to themselves, who may wish they'd gotten help before they'd gotten as sick as they did! An eating disorder is an eating disorder, and all sufferers deserve the opportunity to get help for the underlying cause of their disorder no matter what stage of ED they're in. You don't have to get "sick enough" to validate the fact that you're suffering. You can validate it to yourself. In fact, let me say it to you, anon. I see you. I see that you're suffering. You are worthy and deserving of help and support. I wish you healing.

(I'd like to add a sidenote here that just because you don't feel you look emaciated doesn't mean you aren't sick. Most human bodies have a LOT of safeguards against weight loss, especially in individuals who have a pattern of restricting, eating again, restricting, eating again...your body can still be struggling and deprived of nutrients even if it's stubbornly refusing to let go of pounds to try and keep you alive. It sounds as though your body is trying to express its distress to you in other ways, but are you ready to listen to it? That's up to you.)

I think you need to ask yourself what self-care steps you need to take in order to schedule a therapy appointment and stick to it. I think you know that the urge to comfort yourself by purging is counterproductive. What other things can you do to self-soothe in a healthy way? What are some small comforts you can use to show your body that you believe it deserves comfort and compassion while you work up the nerve to re-schedule?

When you do go to therapy, perhaps you could write down a script of stuff you're ready to talk about and stick to that script. A good therapist will gently push you but will also let you go at your pace and will not force you to talk about things that you're not ready to talk about. If you don't feel that connection with the therapist you meet, you can always search for another one. Yeah, I know, it's really hard to go through those steps AGAIN when you're already struggling so much. It's important, though. And when you're done, perhaps you can reward yourself with a treat. It doesn't have to be a food treat, if you are not at a point where you can effortlessly enjoy food. It can be any little thing that makes your body or soul feel rewarded, a fancy soap or a bath bomb, some art supplies or a little home decoration. Anything that helps you focus on giving yourself some love without engaging in ED behaviors.

You can go to cardiology, but until you're honest about what's straining your body, you'll only be putting band-aids on a much bigger gaping wound. I mean, still go to cardiology. But I think you know that you need to start treating the disorder, and finding ways to stay out of the disorder when stressful times come around.

I also want to address your fears around inpatient treatment. A lot of doctors and counselors will be willing to work with you around an outpatient treatment plan if you show that you want to heal and feel better and are willing to keep working toward that end. However, some people do end up in inpatient and I know it's scary to end up in a new environment and feel like all your control is being taken from you. But remember, while being able to engage in ED behaviors feels like you're controlling your life, every time you do it, the eating disorder takes more control of YOU. Think about it. You're already struggling. You're engaging in behaviors that take away the energy and time you had for the true joys in your life. You want medical professionals to help you, but you're not giving them the full range of information to help you. Do you feel like you're really in control of your life right now?

If you show willingness to work outpatient, I think your supports will probably work with you on this. However, I cannot 100% promise you will not end up needing to do inpatient. I know that's scary. You're allowed to be scared! I invite you to sit with that feeling and hold compassion for yourself and know that you're not the first person to ever be scared of going into inpatient. You also may have to talk about the possibility while seeking treatment. It's okay to be scared, I hope you know that. That's why I suggested bringing a script to therapy, so you can give your therapist a baseline for what you're able to confront right now. A good therapist will develop a rapport with you so that you feel safe working through scary topics. Healing is not the absence of fear, but knowing you have a safe person equipped with tools to help you cope with fear. Someone who will meet you with compassion, not judgment, and lay out your options for you in a way that you understand.

I wish you the best of luck in this difficult journey, anon. I hope you find healing.

[ashtxrie]

HAI ASHHHH!!!

first of all can u pick a random greek myth.... any of them u want..... smiles devilishly as i push a strand of hair behind my ear... 😈

second i have an english presentation tmr. wish me luck!!

third im once again in my hater era bc tell me why this kid from freshman year is telling ppl that i am a pick me girl. first of all i am a girl kisser i do Not engage in pick me activites. second... WHO EVEN IS THIS GUY?? everyone knows him as the guy who smells like piss and cologne but other than that i dont even remember how he looks like... like if ur gonna come for me at least be relevant. EYE ROLL

also its lowk getting severe bc i went outside today and i first thing i thought was "what if ash litereally just walked past me and i didn't know" ur on my mind 24/7 fr

xoxo vanya kisses your forehead

HI VANYA i’m actually so excited w what ur gonna cook up because HOW DID YOU KNOW i went through the most severe of greek mythology phases for a solid 5 years of my life…

i’m gonna go with eros and psyche!! their story is lowkey so interesting.. (though the best version is still the one from percy jackson's greek heroes)

good luck with your english presentation omg i bet you’ll do great !!! spring break is ending for me tomorrow and i am Not ready to put myself back into academic settings…. please like i just want to watch my silly little enhypen tiktoks <//3

and who is this dude…. the audacity??? why is he starting things…. why does he think he’s the shit 😐 that’s kind of embarrassing for him !!

to your last statement,, you’re so real for that because every day i go what if i did something embarrassing and vanya saw me oh my god 😭 we need that high school au classmates! ash + vanya interaction

[sa4phire]

i am not myself right now and it is the most agonizing thing. to watch myself. be this version of me when i so desperately want to be the real me. i am always sexual but it doesn’t hit this way for me at all when i am myself. i am ruining things for nothing, i am actively engaging in my eating disorder again, i am pulling away from everyone. i am not being a good wife in my opinion because cook clean and fuck and baby i have barely been cooking because i have no need for food. my man needs sustainable meals and shit and i haven’t been doing the shit. i have not been running my house like normal. i am checked out. i stay high, i write my poetry, i fucking do what i’m gonna do n that’s it. i be outside. i’ve been up for hours n this is after like another two day bender that was after another one and this has been going on for months but i had my job. now that i am koolin basically in the god damn queue for florida until i get certain strings tied (not ones i control), so im free. my man workin long days. im alone.

i am dangerously close to another psychotic break and i pulled away and have been… real with my friends and family but they have no fucking idea how bad i actually am right now. no one in my real life does. they can guess but not one single person actually feels the terror i feel right now. i will not go on medication. not after what happened to me not after my experience after my whole life. i will buck the fuck up and ride it out but i am telling you. my friends back home? we are about to have… demon time because we are all going through our second dark moment basically. so when i see maya… pray. like 🤌🏻🤌🏻😂 the drinks are gonna be rolling. for days. i’m telling you now. but it’s like. i am the kind of person where if i wear myself out i will be okay. that’s why i’m expressing my sexuality and my fucking jittery god damn buzzing energy in every way through writing through lives through sexting through blogging but also painting and caring for my plants and caring for my animals. i have receded to the point where nature is the only place i feel calm and sleeping in a bed is bringing bad things in my head right now so i’m not sleeping. but im also like. i say it’s bad because it’s like. im actively self harming again. i’m not eating, i’ve hit myself multiple times like i borderline cut n i said i was done like more than half a decade ago. be so fr. what the fuck. im to the point where it’s like i looked in the mirror after forcing myself to fucking do something i really. shouldn’t have and just said like “i don’t even recognize you.”

this is not me and if you’ve followed me for a long time you know about why i started this specific blog in the first place and what happened on the underground one that i lost. to censor. so like it just i don’t know it’s hard because i am meeting these souls here who are so important to me. so. important to me in a way i cannot explain. in such a deep way that it hurts to be in their presence sometimes even though they are some of my favorite people in this world. i don’t want to disappoint them or hurt them. i want to give them everything i can that is good i want to give to them.

i feel like no matter what i do right now it is not going to be right. so i go to my trees and i stay up so i don’t dream and i smoke to ease the ptsd and the anxiety and the other stuff. insomnia is nothing compared to ptsd. but thankfully i have met people here who like. understand me and are always helping me and checking on me and guiding me through it. no one knows the real real about some of the shit that i allow on here. like irl it is hard for me to look my husband in the eyes and tell him i can’t sleep a certain way in the bed because a nurse TRIGGER WARNIn bitch but yea a nurse groped me in my sleep in the psych ward and then after wards tried to say i was anxious. to medicate me bro. so like. i just. i am like. and also that’s another thing my sexual trauma ptsd whatever bullshit i don’t know it just is coming in so fucking hot rn. yet at the same time i’m insane. like insatiably horny and yet if i were to have sex right now it would feel like rape. like i can’t have sex right now dawg. i forced myself to today and literally had to stop. sucked his dick tho baby don’t worry lmaoooo my daddy definitely got um a good good nut but. like. i couldn’t stop clenching up because my mental blocks are up because i’m fucking insane right now and just. dude. i’m going to florida so like it will be okay because i can get straightened out down there without having to worry about the long term effects of this episode on my relationship to my husband. and responsibilities will also change which will really help me honestly.

the self hatred and seething burning rage i feel towards myself is immense and difficult to process and handle. i’m writing but it’s not enough. i’m pulling away from people in real life to protect them but god damn i need. love i need affection i need to be held. i crumbled in angie’s lap for a reason. she saw me. for a moment and i couldn’t even handle it. and like the way that she so gently pet me bro and looked at me. she has been through worse than me. she understands. me. but she moved over an hour away from me now. i just. i need support. but i don’t know how to even like live.

[camsthesadgirlnow]

TW: Rafe finds out you self harm

pairings: rafe Cameron x black fem!reader

warnings: sh, blood, crying, breakdowns

a/n: not requested I just thought of it. also rafe isn’t a murderous person in this :)

Also the reader can also be of any race, I just barely see black reader with rafe Cameron.

gif credit to @jedidiahtiens

⋆*: .*✿:*･ﾟﾟ･⭑

——

he found out when he barged into the bathroom and saw the blood in the sink with a razor on your hand

your arm looking absolutely obliterated

He scrunches his face in horror and studies your tear stained eyes

“i-i’m sorry” you stutter out

He sits you down on the toilet seat and grabs the first aid kit. quickly cleaning your arm and wrapping it with gauze.

“I just I was having a breakdown and the v-voices wouldn’t fucking shut up and they only stop when I hurt myself.”

He quickly shushes you by kissing your lips and brings you to bed. Stroking your hair as you fall asleep.

he cries into the couch that night, careful not to wake you up

he couldn’t imagine life without you

the next morning you wake up and find him cooking breakfast as if everything is okay. The silence at the table become awkward quickly when you can see him stare at your bandaged arms

“is it me?” He asks “cause if it is im sorry and I’ll fix everything.”

Your heart broke at his words

“baby its never you it’s just me and my stupid fucking mind.”

“but why cutting.”

so you pulled out the story about how shitty you’re parents are and how they always made you feel like you were less than anything. so you resorted to cutting despite it being insanely dangerous it’s what helped the voices to fuck off.

He quickly pulled you into his lap and kissed your bandages

His eyes with tears staring at you

“I couldn’t fathom a life without you, please don’t do this. Please don’t do this.”

“I can’t promise that I’ll stop, I really can’t my mind is all sorts of fucked up.”

“Baby we’ll get you some help, anything for you.”

And that’s true. You both recently went to see a therapist and she diagnosed you with depression. She gave you anti depressants and sent you to a psych ward. Rafe paid for everything without argument. He loved you that much.

You gave in and turned in your box full of razors and he threw it away. Caressing your back and praising you for being so brave and asking for help and choosing to throw those away.

And whenever you would be insecure or ppl would point out your scars (which ppl do bc they’re SHITTY) he would instantly tell them to piss off and tell you your beautiful and they’re apart of you and he loves them.

a/n: whoo heavy asf but if y’all are struggling with sh than pls get help. <3

[juleswolverton-hyde]

Not by the Moon | 05

Genre: Smut, Romance, Strangers to Lovers, Drama, Tragedy, Werewolf AU, Supernatural AU, Bookshop AU

Pairing: Bookshop keeper!/Werewolf!JB x Reader

Warnings: A sprinkle of grumpy jealous werewolf!Jaebeom who gets a wee bit violent, tooth-rotting domestic fluff, werewolf courting, sexual tension, werewolf!Jaebeom acting like a pup, and poor yet adorable attempts at coming across as human.

Summary: Every story has a purpose or goal it is dedicated to, their authors at times going to great lengths to see the project they once started to completion. Nevertheless, the things the writers swore on to see their latest art piece to completion are static.

Unchanging.

None of them swore by the Moon nor Love because they can solely genuinely swear on all that changes like themselves.

And yet, a wolf in love foolishly swore by the moon.

That is when Time truly started ticking.

Author’s Note: This chapter is from Y/N’s POV. Bam and Jinyoung make a cameo.

Previous Chapter / Next chapter

Masterlist

Wonderful as a trip abroad might be, there’s nothing that can compare to the secret feeling of relief when returning home. No longer there is luggage to drag along, languages to swap between, or cultures to assimilate to. While it is in good fun, it’s also physically and mentally exhausting. Henceforth, coming home is like a cozy blanket to wrap around your shoulders by the fire on a cold November day. And once you’re bundled up, it is time to breathe easy and rest.

Although, home is not necessarily a place. In fact, mine has made good on his promise and puppy dreams, standing in the crowd to pick me up.

“Y/N,” a familiar voice calls out as we enter the hall of arrivals, “over here!”

Manes tucked away under a dark red beanie and wearing a simple black jacket over an oversized black shirt, Jaebeom waves to pull attention to himself.

“Who’s that?” Bam follows my gaze to the adorable tall man as we make our way through the crowd of trolleys, suitcases, hellos and goodbyes. “Is that the dude you’ve been texting and calling?”

“He is,” I whisper in reply as we approach him. With every step, the storm of butterflies in my stomach worsens although I feel light as air at the same time. Happiness in Love is a strange thing. 

“So that’s your boyfriend,” my colleague purrs. He sounds pleased in the way I imagine he’d sound if he was my older brother.

I whip my head around, tongue-tied but not enough to protest the assumption. “He’s not my boyfriend!”

Bam merely chuckles to himself, grinning like the Cheshire Cat as he continues. “Sure he isn’t, Y/N. After all, you’ve not been touching your lips and turning into a blushy mess afterwards. Or keeping those books you have with you close at all times, looking at them fondly.”

“Of course I am.” Jaebeom jumps into the conversation when we’ve reached him, acting as if he’s heard our conversation perfectly through the ruckus of the crowd. The sparkle in his eyes dims and turns into a poisonous glare when he notices the guy besides me. “Who are you?”

“JB, this is Kunpimook.’’ I gesture from one to the other, jaw clenched in the hope the wolf man won’t actively show the hostility harboured in his gaze. ‘’The colleague I told you about.”

“Just call me Bam.” Politely, he holds out his hand.

“Im Jaebeom,” the other man introduces himself, fortunately accepting the gesture howbeit with a strained expression. “Her boyfriend.”

“Hey, you must be Y/N.” Holding a tray with three coffee cups in it, a young man joins our company. 

Like Jaebeom, who has proudly proclaimed himself my boyfriend, he is tall, slender yet muscular in build and has black hair. Nevertheless, whereas Jaebeom has a flair of being unapproachable, the stranger has a boyish air around him that’s open for contact.

He moves the carrier from his right hand to his left for a handshake. “I’m Jinyoung.”

Immediately, bells start ringing at the mention of his name. After all, there hasn’t been a single call the past week wherein he wasn’t mentioned. “Jaebeom’s told me about you. You’re a professor at the university here, right?”

“I am,” he beams, his proud tone indicating how much he likes his job. “I teach Mythology. It’s a course that encompasses folklore around the world, so it’s fairly broad.”

“You teach only one course?”

“I do, but I’m also a doctor. Well, still studying to be one officially, but I’m allowed to work at the university’s clinic already.”

 “Wow.’’ A professor and a doctor. There’s little else I can say as a mere travel journalist, so I just try to remain casual despite being utterly gobsmacked. 

“I know, it’s a lot. Nevertheless, somehow I manage to do it and occasionally write an article.”

How does he do it? He’s likely not that much older than I, but he’s evidently busier than I am.

“Show-off.” The grumbled insult interferes with the friendly conversation. The focus of Jaebeom’s glare has changed targets from Bam to the professor. However, the latter doesn’t seem to notice his friend’s chagrin.

“I’m simply introducing myself, Jay. Here,” Jinyoung hands him one of the paper cups from the carrier, “your apple and cinnamon tea.”

“You drink tea now?” I raise an eyebrow, surprised. It sounds like a strange concept because I’ve never seen him drink anything but black coffee.

“Doctor’s orders,” JB murmurs in response, discontent and keeping a close eye on Bam as he nips the warm beverage.

“I’ve put him on tea, preferably green, to lower the caffeine levels in his blood. Otherwise, he’ll be staying up all night reading and trying to cook. Oh,” he reaches for something in his pocket, pulling out a small bottle like the one JB showed me in the park and handing it to his friend, “you forgot your meds.”

“You’re on medication?” Bam asks without any implications or judgment. The funny thing is, despite being extroverted and extravagant - extra, in general - he actually studied psychology and thought about becoming a psychiatrist for a while. Therefore, he has a general interest in medicine and its function of helping the human psyche.

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” Jaebeom sneers sarcastically, his voice closer to a growl than human speech. Then, he turns his attention to Jinyoung, who continues to hold his calm. “Why are you giving this to me now? Couldn’t you wait until we’re back? I’m not gonna take them in front of some stranger, especially not someone close to her. Besides, what does skipping one time or by a few hours matter?”

“Jay, don’t be like this,’’ the young professor sighs. ‘’You know how important timing is, especially with this new treatment.”

“You’re embarrassing me.”

“I’m not.”

“You are!”

A nudge against my shoulder distracts me from the fierce bickering, Bam lowly whispering he’s leaving for home as well as an apology for what he has unleashed. I answer in a similar fashion when promising to call him later and apologizing for putting him into this situation. He merely waves dismissively, unbothered, and disappears in the crowd of trolleys and journeying strangers.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough,” I intervene lest the situation gets out of hand. A hand on his chest, I try to distract Jaebeom by shifting his focus to me. “Let’s go search for somewhere quiet around here where it’s just us. It’s important to me too you take your meds.”

“Let’s just go home.” His features soften, compromising like I did that day in the bookshop and didn’t want to eat. “I’ll take them in the car, alright?”

“Why do you have to be cross with me about it when you readily accept to take them when Y/N tells you to?” Jinyoung crosses his arms in defiance, lips pulled into a displeased pout.

 “Because she’s my mate,” Jaebeom argues, sure to show his teeth. Withal, he turns into a gentle giant again once he wraps an arm around my waist and looks down at me with so much adoration I feel my cheeks burning up. “Girlfriend, I mean. We’re dating, so she’s my girlfriend.”

“We’ve only been out together once,” I sputter. It’s wonderful to hear the affirmation we’re an item, although I still think it’s a bit too early to claim we are.

“Twice after today. And we’ve kissed,” he corrects me, tone indicating there is no use in protesting. Nevertheless, the sternness wavers as it warms into merriment. “I got you something. I’ll give it to you once we’re home.”

Jinyoung leans in as we head to the exit, whispering. “He went kinda overboard.”

“I didn’t,” Jaebeom growls. “Stop embarrassing me. Know your fucking place.”

“Boys,” I sigh in warning.

Both lower their head and let out a whimper in apology. “Sorry.”

“This is where you live?” Jinyoung parks the car in front of the tall white brick building overlooking the quay at the edge of town.

“Wow...” Jaebeom murmurs in the passenger seat, awed by the fact I live on the east side of town. It’s a recently redeveloped area, the warehouses refurbished into apartment complexes to help combat the growing housing issue.

“I do. Not for much longer, though.”

Both men turn in their seats, looking at me as if I’m insane.

 “You’re moving out?” The professor asks, although it’s more of an exclamation than a question. “Why would you leave this place? It’s one of the most desired places to live within the city.”

However, JB doesn’t care about the reason which makes me want to leave the neighbourhood behind. Instead, he’s anxious to know where to find me. “Where will you go?”

“Do you know those orchards on the outskirts of town? With the old cottages?” Both nod as confirmation. “Well, that’s where I’ll be moving to. I’ve been meaning to get out of the city for a while. Granted, the harbour district isn’t as busy as the city centre. But, despite being only twenty-two, I crave the silence of the countryside. Or, rather, its tranquility which I can also find in the suburbs.”

“You’re twenty-two?” Jaebeom asks, head tilted to the side.

 “I am,’’ I admit as I pull my knees up to make myself as small as possible. ‘’I never mentioned it because I didn’t think it’d matter. Does it, though?”

My voice is hardly audible, a frog stuck in my throat. Why did I have to be the one to bring this up?

“No, not at all! I still like you. A lot. A lot, a lot. But, I’m older than you. Quite a bit, I think.”

“How old?” The question barely rolls off the tongue, pale with dread.

Please, don’t let there be too big of an age gap.

“I’m twenty...” He looks at Jinyoung, brow furrowed.

“Twenty-eight,” the good doctor whispers, unconscious of the fact that the well-meant reminder is loud enough for me to hear.

“Twenty-eight,” Jaebeom confirms, staring back at me in anticipation. “Six years difference. Does it matter? To you, I mean. In how you see me?”

“It doesn’t. Do you see me differently?”

“I never did.”

“Age is only a number, after all,” the professor pitches in to cheer us up further. “Anyway, I’m dropping you off here.”

“Can’t you stay?” Surely I can’t let him leave without at least thanking him with a cup of coffee or tea.

“I’d love to, but- Don’t you snarl at me.” He points an accusing finger at JB, who’s showing his teeth and lowly growling like he did at the airport.

Caught red-handed, the wolfish man feigns ignorance and stares out the window. However, his sulky expression and scoff betray his true feelings.

“As I was saying,” Jinyoung continues after an exasperated sigh, “I’d love to, but I get to attend an interesting transplant operation today and have a bit of research to do for a new article.”

“That’s a shame. I owe you a cup of coffee, then. That’s the least I can do to repay you for driving me home.”

“I’ll make good on that promise soon. But for now, go on, you two.” He motions for us to get out of the car. “Don’t make it awkward by making me the third wheel.”

“Jinyoung.” Hesitantly, the big wolf man holds up his fist.

“No hard feelings.” He bumps his fist against JB’s.

“Good.” The seat belt comes undone, but Jaebeom doesn’t move to step outside yet. Instead, he leans in towards Jinyoung and takes a whiff, squinting as invisible question marks float in the air. “You smell weird, though.”

“Really?” The other man sniffs the collar of his jacket, shrugging casually in jest. “It’s not that bad.”

“Jinyoung.” Despite still looking a bit pale with remorse, the wolf man says the professor’s name harshly, his voice deep as he chastises the turn to humour. He grows still, gaze focused on his friend as he tries to look for what’s unspoken in the other’s body language.

However, there is nothing to see. Although, if there actually is something off, the professor hides it well. But Jaebeom doesn’t get the chance to scrutinize him long enough to see for himself because Jinyoung turns back to the wheel and waves dismissively. “I’m alright, Jae. Go. Have fun with your girlfriend.”

His friend nods, a strained look on his face, and opens the door. I follow behind, having silently observed the conversation from the backseat.

What’re you worried about? Jinyoung looks fine. Nothing wrong with him whatsoever.

Nevertheless, barely have we opened the trunk when the doctor hangs out the window. “And don’t forget your present!”

“Got it right here.” In confirmation, Jaebeom holds up a neat-looking paper bag, chique enough to originally have been used in a boutique.

“That’s my boy,” he chuckles before he resumes his seat.

With a dull thud, Jaebeom closes the trunk again. 

The engine roars to life and the car pulls out of the parking lot, Jinyoung honking a few times as we see him off.

I look from Jaebeom to the bag, leaning in to try and sneak a peek of its contents. “What did you get me?”

You promised me a shirt, but do you really need this big of a bag for one?

“I’m not telling you,” he muses.

I straighten my posture, a smile building as a golden opportunity presents itself. “Aw, what’s in the box?”

“Box? Y/N, it’s a bag.”

“I know, but- Never mind.” I wave the apparently obscure allusion with a dismissive gesture, disappointed he doesn’t get the reference. “Let’s go inside.”

“Are you upset?” he asks as we walk to the entrance of the building.

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Another reassuring question burns on his tongue, but before he can ask it I stand on the tips of my toes to peck him on the lips and nose. “I’m not going to get upset simply because you didn’t understand me. Besides, it’s just a trivial matter. Come on, let’s go. I’m hungry.” 

Though I failed the first time, I again try to get a better look at the mysterious bag. As before, the attempt is in vain. “And curious.”

“I think you’ll like it. In fact,” his lips pull into a smug smirk, “I’m fairly sure you’ll look pretty in it. More pretty than you do now.”

It’s prettier.

I let the mistake slide.

To let him have his little moment of triumph.

There is no place like home. Truly, not a single hotel room or bed and breakfast in the world can substitute the small studio with its minimalistic interior in shades of white and grey.

I breathe in deeply, glad to stand in the familiar narrow hallway leading to the kitchen and space beyond. A faint musty smell cuts through the fragrance of the Nordic leather diffuser sticks I bought before going to Belgium.

Guess I’ll be cleaning tomorrow.

Luckily, it’s been only a few days so the level of dust isn’t too bad. Notwithstanding, the place could do with a little clean-up.

“Well, this is me.”

“I know,” Jaebeom replies sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck with his eyes on me.

“No, I mean, this,” I gesture around as I walk into the apartment, “is my place. My house.”

He murmurs something under his breath, seemingly contrasting two words as he tries to understand them or, rather, the difference between them.

“It’s nice,” he remarks when he has figured out his train of thought, looking around appreciatively.

“The cottage will be nicer, I think. I can’t wait to decorate it, make it cozier than this place. Maybe get some plants, hang up a few photos-’’

“A few of us together, maybe?” He proposes as he, too, takes his shoes off and follows me into the living room.

“For example.” I nod at the bag when we settle down on the couch next to the window overlooking the quay. “Can I open my present now?”

“Say ‘please’.” Arms crossed, he leans in so our faces are mere inches away from each other. His breath ghosts warmly over my lips when he continues in a tender yet playful babying tone. “Life is short, but there is always time for courtesy. Manners, young lady.”

“Can I open my present, please?” Regardless of the chance to finally satisfy my curiosity, I don’t dive into the gift directly. Instead, I stay my hand, bothered by a nagging feeling his words are familiar to me. “What you just said, isn’t that a quote?”

“It is, but,’’ Jaebeom bites his lip, eyes averted to the ground, ‘’to be honest, I can’t remember who said it.”

Funny, how you can remember quotes. Maybe that’s how we can communicate in the future if your condition gets worse. Although, let’s hope that’s not the case for a long time.

“Ralph…’’ I start, trying to recall who originally said it. ‘’Ralph Waldo? No, that’s not right. He went by his middle name. Wait, his middle name was Ralph so it was him.”

“Have you read his work?”

“Honestly speaking, I haven’t. However, I have a friend who studies American literature and poetry and she sends poems, quotes and the occasional snippet. I think I’ve seen him in passing. Anyways,’’ I pull the bag onto my lap, giddy as a child in a candy shop, ‘’let’s see what’s inside.”

The present catches me off-guard because the bundles of clothing are both what I expected and yet not. “You...” I trail off, checking and double checking the amount of shirts. “Seven?”

“One for every day of the week,” he beams, proudly barking his reasoning.

These will last me two weeks if not longer. Minimalism isn’t his thing, is it?

I pull out a big grey hoodie and hold it up to my nose to sniff it. A wild forest of which the air is faintly scented by a cologne with fruity undertones and the musty smell of books. I hum contently, enraptured by the scent. By him. 

From the corner of my eye, I see Jaebeom grinning in unadulterated amusement. Albeit not without effort, I lower the article of clothing. “I know this is likely stupid to ask, but eventually they’ll have to be washed so what if your scent fades?”

“I’ll just scent them again.’’ He shrugs casually before he points inside the bag. ‘’Also, what’s in the little box on the bottom might help with that too.”

In my astonishment, I missed the cardboard square at the bottom which turns out to be the packaging for a bottle of cologne. “You can spray it on. Sure, it’s not really purely my scent but hopefully it’s still rem- remi- a reminder of me.”

You meant reminiscent, didn’t you?

“Or I can go to you and have you scent them,” I joke, only half-serious.

“If that means more time together,” his mismatched eyes sparkling with gleeful stars, “sure, why not? I’d be glad to help.”

“Thank you.’’ Absentmindedly, I fidget with the folds of the hoodie. ‘’I really like it.”

Jaebeom ruffles my hair, letting out a chuff. “You’re welcome. Now, why don’t you just sit tight and I’ll make us something to eat?”

“Don’t set my kitchen aflame, though,” I warn him as the wolf man gets up from the couch.

“I won’t,” he answers smugly before leaning in to steal a kiss. “I promise.”

With a spring in his step, JB sets off for the kitchen with the bag of groceries he pulled from Jinyoung’s trunk. The two must have dropped by the supermarket before coming to pick me up.

A pillow propped up against the armrest and the blanket formerly draped over the couch now covering my shoulders, I lie down for a nap.

As consciousness fades, a warm affectionate wolfish smile pierces through the growing haze. Jaebeom murmurs something unintelligible and turns his gaze back to the chopping board.

I am home.

Dreaming of two little pups running around an orchard.

“Dinner’s ready!” The loud remark barely filters in until it’s repeated up close, the merry bark lowered in volume. A hand shakes my shoulder, but what does the trick in waking me up is the warm wetness nibbling away at my ear. However, it doesn’t stay there, but travels down the side of my neck and ends its journey at the hem of my shirt, giving it a gentle yet fierce tug.

“Y/N, come on. Get up,” JB whines, the words distorted thanks to keeping the fabric firmly between his teeth. He tugs at it again.

What on earth?

I turn onto my other side, causing the big wolf man to let go. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to get you to eat.” He makes himself smaller, gaze briefly averted to the side before looking at me again, continuing in the same tender yet stern tone he uses whenever food is involved. “With me. This is my first time cooking for you and I practiced really hard while you were away. So, please, eat with me. I want to know whether I did a good job.”

“Do you have to drag me by the collar for that?” I reach out to scratch him behind his ear, tracing his jaw as my fingers work upwards.

Jaebeom’s eyes mist over, his expression turning dreamy as he leans into the touch. “Want- Don’t know… know how to- Come to… kitchen. Although, maybe, just...”

“Feels good?”

A hasty sheepish smile flashes on his lips as he nods in agreement, eyes closed and speechless.

You really are a wolf. Weirdo. My weirdo.

A whine slips out when I stop. JB slowly opens his eyes again, blinks a few times before he clears his throat. “Can we do that again? After dinner, maybe?”

 “If I liked what you made, sure. However,” I kiss his forehead, “since you asked so nicely, we can do this again after we’ve eaten. So, will you eat with me?”

Will you stay with me?

“What’s wrong?” Picking up on the worrying thought, he tilts his head to the side and scrutinizes my face as he did Jinyoung’s earlier today.

“Nothing.” I shake my head, dismissing the thought since we’ve already said everything there is to say about it. “Just a silly thought.”

His expression falters. “I’m being over- overbear- too much.”

“No, not at all! Don’t say that, silly.”

Jaebeom nudges my nose with his, his tone sweet in an attempt to make me confess what’s bothering me. “Then what is it?”

“I’ve never done this before,” I admit at last. “No one’s ever cooked for me aside from my mom and grandmother or had a guy proudly proclaim himself as my boyfriend. This is simply new to me so it makes me feel, well, a bit awkward. It’s unreal, like a dream that might go up in smoke any second. That’s maybe a better way to put it.”

“I’m really here. Also, remember what you promised me? You’d stay by my side until you can’t anymore and I promised you the same. I’m a wolf, after all. Loyal to my pack or, rather, my- uh- my bi- no, that’s wrong. My lady,” he grabs my hand and lifts the fingers to his lips for a chaste kiss, “I am your gentleman and I won’t go anywhere without telling you first. And, if possible, I’ll take you with me because I refuse to leave you behind. But for now, let’s go eat. Together. I’ll try not to make a mess.”

Don’t cry, Y/N. Don’t you tear up right in front of him.

I take in a shivering breath, swallow hard, and try to regain composure.

We’re here together and wherever it is we’re going next, we’ll be there as we are now.

Side by side.

Even though I’m hungry and the table is literally three steps away, I groan as I get up from the couch. Travelling takes its toll, no matter how short the distance might be. All the same, I shuffle towards the chair facing the kitchen and plop down on it, watching JB plate up. “What are we having?”

“Steak with blanched vegetables and sweet potato mash,” he proudly announces while serving the food.

“Uhm, that’s very nice. However- it’s alright if you don’t remember, but I’m vegetarian.”

“I remembered.” A bright smile forms on his lips, eyes alight with triumph and joy. “That’s why your steak is soy-based. I found it while doing groceries or, rather, Jinyoung pointed it out. He’s been teaching me how to cook and bake. Well, we’re still working on the latter, but I did bring homemade cheesecake for dessert. I still wonder why they call it cheesecake when what’s going in it isn’t really cheese.”

“Beats me too.”

“You got slapped by cream cheese?” Visibly gobsmacked, he leans in with an expression that holds the middle between curiosity and utter confusion. “How did that happen and was it painful?”

“I mean I don’t understand either,” I reply, shaking my head with a low chuckle, and cut into the steak. As the knife sinks into it, a rosy fluid oozes out of it as if it’s been cooked medium-raw which is exactly how I liked it back in my non-vegetarian days. “But baking hasn’t been a success?”

Jaebeom sits back, shoulders hunched as he pokes the carrot on his plate with his fork. “I burned a cake, pulled it from the oven as black as charcoal. Then there’s the case of the exploded soufflés and marble cake that turned out to have no marbling at all. Not to speak of the melted... what’re they called again? There’s also a song that’s got to do with them. Jinyoung sings it a lot. Rocky road! Melted rocky roads and millionaire’s breads.”

“Maybe stick to cooking instead of baking. Not everyone has a knack for both.”

He sighs in defeat. “Maybe I should, but I’ll still try to make you something every once in a while that’s actually good.”

“As long as you don’t blow up one of our kitchens.” I include my kitchen as well because the mere thought of baking together spreads a rosy flush throughout my body that leaves me warm with affection. Besides, it’s another excuse to see him wear an apron, maybe pull some shenanigans myself and have something to eat with a cup of tea or coffee and a good book.

That would make for a nice date. We should do that soon.

“I’ll try.” He holds out his pinky. “Promise.”

The adorable genuineness of the determined gesture is what drives me to seal the promise by wrapping my pinky around his. “I’ll hold you to it.”

While eating the simple yet well-made dinner, the conversation is about novels, the shop, Jinyoung’s cooking lessons and the weary stories of how Kunpimook and I crossed Bruges in search of the best chocolate. Jaebeom hasn’t done much in the time I was away it seems. The bookshop’s been quiet, so he’s had plenty of time to read and work on his cooking. Nevertheless, his expression turns dreamy when I show him the pictures from the trip, but right beneath the surface of it floats a form of sad longing which is too unclear to be certain of or to be properly described.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m glad you got to see this,” he murmurs as he takes my phone from my hand to leave through the collection again. “I’m kinda jealous, though. It’s been so long since I went somewhere other than here. I’m not sure if I’ve ever been somewhere else.”

Brows furrowed, he tries to remember the last time he travelled. Withal, he comes up short, the melancholy of missing memories staining his voice. “I’ve been nowhere except here. Chained.”

“This place clearly is your home, that’s why it’s keeping you here. It knows you belong here and I’m glad you’ve remained.”

He lets out a breathless laugh which oddly holds the middle between a growl and a giggle. “I’m happy you showed up at my doorstep, then. But, the cottage you’ll be moving to... it’d- it’d be nice if I could make that my home too.’’ His cheeks grow pink like rose petals. ‘’Well, maybe not literally, but it would be nice if it would become our little somewhere.”

“Our little somewhere,” I repeat, charmed by the sound of it.

“Our home. Well, concretely speaking. Abstractly, and most importantly, you are my home.’’ He gets up to move to my side, where he crouches at my feet. Foreheads rested against each other, he easily nips at my nose and nuzzles it affectionately with his. ‘’You are what breaks the silence, makes me able to hope for better days.”

“The same goes for you because even though you sometimes still intimidate and freak me out a little bit, you make my days more interesting than they have been in years. So, thank you. For being here, spending your time in my company.”

“Thank you for the same reasons. Now,” JB leans away to get up and starts to clear the dishes, “how about dessert?”

Before either of us is aware of it, the clock on the wall notes it’s already ten past eight when we finish off the homemade cheesecake. Naturally, partially to also do my fair share, I stand up from my chair before the big wolf man does in an attempt to clear the table and do the dishes. However, when I’m about to walk to the kitchen with them, Jaebeom unapologetically takes them from my hands.

“What’re-? JB, you don’t have to do everything! Let me at least do the dishes.” Flattered yet a tad annoyed by the kindness, and poorly conveying my appreciation, I protest in a harsher tone than I intended to use.

Fortunately, though also a bit comically, he remains unperturbed. Notwithstanding, an unyielding sternness underlines his voice when he responds. “You’ve had a long journey, so sit down and relax. I’ll be right with you after cleaning up.”

Henceforth, unable to protest and rendered comatose by the delicious food, I plop down on the couch. Nestled into the corner, I have a proper view of the man who’s claimed my kitchen for himself.

Although it’s an intrusion to a certain degree, it’s quite soothing to watch Jaebeom defy classic gender roles. Contently humming a song and barely shy of skipping, he cleans up the mess with a tea towel tucked into the side of his pants. 

When he’s done, he hangs the tea towel over the stove’s handle, washes his hands, and settles down next to me. On a whim, though it’s maybe because of instinct, I get up from my little corner and nestle against him. He wraps an arm around my shoulder, pulling me closer as I drape my leg over his thigh to get into a more comfortable position.

Situated snugly in his safe presence, I close my eyes and sigh in pure content. “Can you stay here tonight?”

“Are you sure? Don’t you want to be alone and rest?” he murmurs into my hair.

“I can recharge with you. Besides, you’re nice and warm.” I snuggle up to him more, basking in the mixture of wild wood and cologne. “A perfect pillow.”

He pulls me on his lap, wraps his arms around my body and pulls me flush against his chest, which feels sculpted but not hard with muscle. Abs are nice and all, but I prefer the softness of a defined though not hardened chest. 

“If it brings you rest,” he curls his finger under my chin and lifts it, compelling me to look at him, “I’ll stay.”

I run my fingers along his jaw and up to his ear, immediately reducing him to the puppy-like state he tends to get into apparently when being touched like this. “Thank you.”

“My pl- pleasure.” What would have been a normal response is lost in a growl when I accidentally brush against his crotch as I shift my weight and sit up a little.

His eyes snap open, the hazelnut brown and ocean blue irises darkened, devoid of any sense of their former satisfied tenderness. With his thumb he traces the outline of my lips, lowly purring. “Pretty.”

“Jaebeom,” I place my hands on his shoulders, maintaining a bit of distance between us. We shouldn’t rush this, but the sensation of his growing bulge against my thigh, throbbing against the inside of it, convolutes every thought. Somehow, his scent seems to have gotten stronger too, overwhelming me with the same clear message the firm grip on my hips has. 

I don’t push him back as he leans in, bridging the emptiness I initiated. Foreheads rested against each other and his calloused hands on my cheeks, he guesses what’s essentially withholding me. “Scared?”

“A bit,” I whimper against his palm, the words muffled by the rough warm skin.

“It’s me, Y/N. I won’t hurt you.” Feverish yet sweetly with persuasive conviction, he kisses me. “I’m your gentleman, your boyfriend.”

“I’m afraid it’ll hurt. That we’re going too fast.”

“We’re not. I want this. I want more of you. With you. But,’’ lips pulled into a straight line, he clears his throat while looking as if he is restraining a wild beast that can easily get the better of him if he lets go, ‘’I’ll leave it up to you.”

So, what you’re asking is… 

Jaebeom takes a deep breath to regain his composure, though it has little effect. His breathing remains heavy, close to panting. Nevertheless, the gentle stars return to his eyes as the strained expression softens. “Will you have me?”

[tonys-red-mustang]

Remember Me (Jesse Pinkman Imagine)

Summary: While at a club with his boys, Jesse re-unites with an old friend.

A/N: Not completely in “x Reader” formatting, but I’ve had this stuck in my head for so long. Considering expanding it into a fic on my Wattpad.

Jesse scratched his head again, a crooked smile following the girl dancing in front of him. The music was starting to pound against his eardrums, and the LEDs were just a little too bright. His head was fuzzy, and he could just barely see Skinny and Badger on the other couches. There were hands on his shoulders, thighs in his lap, hair in his face. Jesse’s half-lidded eyes rolled back to stare out against the groups crowding the dance floor only feet away. His gaze fixated on the little stage crossing the front of the club. He felt like he could smell the drummer’s sweat from where he sat.

It wasn’t long before singers were switching out. Jesse was watching the girl in front of him, giving her a few fives, his hands too heavy to lift far. The music pounded in his ears, new pop beats cracking the speakers. A woman had taken the dark stage.

"With hoops and Bobby Shmurda, throw myself up to party, swimmin’ pool full of bacardi”

Jesse’s eyes squinted. He knew that voice. His head lolled to the side, but he couldn’t quite see the stage. He’d heard her before, but he still didn’t know her face. A flash of dark hair passed by, but there were too many dancing and grinding people to see. Jesse almost stopped caring.

“Tell me that I’m dreaming, cause I don’t wanna believe in you. These tricks you playing, clever. I’m about to leave forever.”

The man stood up. Badger and Skinny were too occupied with partying to notice. Jesse knew those words, the voice. His head was still spinning. He was pushing through people who shoved him back when he tried to get through the dance floor. It seemed like forever until he was close enough to the stage. Now the beats were really hurting.

“So what’s the purpose, "With hoops and Bobby Shmurda, throw myself up to party, swimmin’ pool full of bacardi.”

There she was. A woman he hadn’t seen since two years after they graduated high school. Her hair was a little longer now, her face more defined. Though Jesse’s was, too. Three years can really make a difference. Jesse’s heart dropped into his stomach. 

“I just wanna get stoned, my friend. I just wanna get good vibes. Don’t wanna see you fuck around with these other girls, keep ruining my night.”

By the end of the song, Jesse was pushing against the metal fence in front of the stage. “(Y/N!)” He shouted. She couldn’t hear him over the sound of the beats dying down. He shouted her name over and over, waving. For a minute, the only attention he drew was from the dancers around him. 

He made eye contact once. His hand fell from the air, just a little. Her expression changed, but he could no longer tell what it was. She was off the stage in less than a minute, speaking to the previous singer before disappearing backstage. The other singer took her place.

Jesse began scrambling towards the gate, trying to reach her again. The bouncer pushed him back. “Don’t know where you think you’re going.”

“Hey, please, man,” Jesse shook his head. “That’s my friend in there, yo, please.”

“Then your friend can come meet you out here,” the tall man shouted over the music.

“Let ‘im in,” a woman’s voice shouted. The singer stood only feet from Jesse, hands in her pockets. The bouncer opened the gate for Jesse to pass through. 

It was only a few steps before they were back together. Jesse hugged his old best friend tight, and she didn’t hesitate to return it. He could feel her hands shaking against his back. He was reluctant to pull away. 

“Yo, can... can we talk or somethin’?”

The young woman looked reluctant. Scared, almost. She swallowed hard before giving the tiniest nod. She turned back to the doorway, and Jesse took it that he should follow. 

Jesse followed his friend down a short hallway, then into a room. It was set up like a lounge, with couches and tables and drinks and food decorating it. The music from the club was muffled as the door shut. 

“So, h-how’ve you been? You got some real gigs n’ shit, that’s great, right?”

“Yeah,” the woman said softly. “It is. How’ve you been doin’?”

Jesse wanted nothing more than to sit down, tell all about how he was cooking methamphetamine with their old chemistry teacher, maybe tear up a bit when what happened to Jane came up, how Skinny and Badger were doing. 

“I’m, ya know... Doing.” The man was having a problem finding out what words he wanted to use. There was a pause. “I missed you. A lot, ya know.”

The woman bit down on her back teeth. Her jaw visibly tightened. “I missed you, too.”

Jesse began sitting on one of the squeaky leather couches. “Yo, why... WHy didn’t you ever call me again? (Y/N), I said I’d still be there n’ shit, you never called me back or nothin’.”

The woman hesitated before she sat down near Jesse. She only gave a little shrug in reply. Jesse could tell that she had barely changed. She didn’t even want to look at her friend now.

“Yo, (Y/N), for real, what’ goin’ on? You were in psych for months, I told you to call me soon’s you got out. I had to hear from your dad that you were out and left. Why’d you never call? Or at least text, for god’s sake. You could’ve been dead.”

“I didn’t wanna bother you,” her voice was quiet, Jesse could barely hear her. 

“You didn’t wanna bother me.” Jesse’s lip curled up in confusion. “Yo, if you were gonna bother me, I wouldn’t have called and texted like a million times a day for months.” There was another pause. “You were my best friend, yo.”

“Figured you’d’ve forgotten me eventually, didn’t want you worrying,” She rubbed her face.

“Nah, I can’t forget you. I missed you. Like, every day.”

The woman nodded a little bit. “I missed you, too.”

“You got a place you’re staying? Stay at my place a bit, I got a shit ton I gotta tell you. You missed a lot.”

“Aight, but I can’t leave yet. Kinda walked off in the middle of the set.” 

[prissypickle]

Ill be talking about my growth over the year. There will be sensitive topics but I want to share what I have overcome.

The past 12 months have been so hard to deal with. But Ive overcome so many challenges

. May 18th I had a major attempt. I was in the pcu for 2 days. I wrote my parents a letter saying that Im going to the hospital to get some help. The last time i ever attempted like this was in 2014. My parents didn’t realize how much I was struggling despite telling them daily.

I was admitted into the psych unit a 3rd time. Those 7-10 days is where you grow so much. The people surrounding you at the hospital is one of the most comforting things. The paitents, (most) staff they are always there for you when it feels like no one else is. Ive been there twice since 2019. Recently ive been considering going back (for a psych eval) due to how the past 5 months have been one event after another

. I was supposed to get out of the psych unit on Saturday but I voluntarily checked myself out as we thought my bearded dragon was going to pass. My mom told the staff not to tell me unless they really thought it was over for him (sloppy writing rn Im crying over how I thought I was gonna lose him) rafiki is my rock. He knows how to calm me down. The staff allowed me to have my phone for 2 hours while I called 20 different vets to find a place to Euthinize Rafiki as that was pretty much the only reason my mom told me. I called for 2 hours and there was only one place that would do it. It was an inhome euthanasia. And I have that numbered stored in my phone. God forbid I need to use it. Its there

. I took him to the vet and we decided that if the antibiotics that we were giving him wasn’t working we would euthanize him. But it worked and my boy is happy and alive.

Things started to get bad again when my sisters boyfriend moved in. I began disociating and maladaptive daydreaming to the extreme.

I relapsed.

But I got back up. Then come January and I decided to open up my shop. @delicate.littlespace.shop its one of the best thing I could have done. I had severe struggles. Etsy started taking me down for copyright infringement because I was selling deco popsocket. They took the whole They took my whole account down because of the popsocket deal. That fucked me up a lot. I was able to get it back once I showed etsy that what i was selling isnt really a popsocket. I just buy it in bulk. I got my account back. But one night I was on Facebook and someone took my photos and put it on a child protective services group. It was the most painful thing ever as it could’ve showed my location full name etc. but they crossed off all my info. Still extremely upsetting. Ontop of my etsy issues. Someone started a roumor saying I support minors in kink so on and they told all my promoters and one left and blocked me without me able to defend my side. So im watching out here and there to make sure roumors aren’t going around about me.

A series of events happened that day. My etsy account got suspended, posted in a cps group, crisis line hung up on me not once but TWICE there were more but that was the main 3. I took 2 days off work. Then the series of events get worse. I dislocated my shoulder. It took 3 months for me to get to see a ortho who just spent 5 minutes with me and told me to go to pt. I was waitlisted on pt. I went and saw a second opinion for my shoulder. Same things. Pt.

I reinjured it severely the other day as I lifted up something that I shouldnt have and I popped my shoulder put of place. I went to urgent care the next day and found out my shoulder was re dislocated, fractured, and deformed. January to April I was in a sling. Then I was out and them on my 2nd I injured it. I was supposed to start PT finally on the 13th but my referrl never went through so I dont know what to do anymore about pt. Im just thinking how this may be a sign that pt isnt gonna help.

With my worsened injury I cant do basic needs. Washing hair, chores, cook, I can barely pull up my pants. Its horrible. I dont wish this on anyone. So Ive been struggling with major hygiene and didnt wash my hair for 2 weeks. Today I finally got it washed and it felt so good. I nearly released the other day but I was able to stop and think. Hey a year ago it would be different. Ive overcome so many things this past year. My life has been 10000years too many. Im just proud of how far I have come and Im finally safely coping. I still have a whole bunch ahead of me but Im finally going in the right direction.

[assless-chapstick]

This is me sending myself an ask… because I am boredt and my teeth hurt and I want to lay in bed….

So I ask myself … how are the Couch AU boys coping with the COVID19 lockdown??? Are they ok??

Tbh I think Charles and John are taking it harder than Arthur and Javi. Like, Arthur and Javier are a little more stable, a little more mentally well/neurotypical, and while everyone is finding it hard, I think Charles and John are struggling more than average.

Charles practically lives at John and Arthurs place, so he’s locked down over there; half his stuff is over there already, and while it might be a little crowded, it’s better than him being alone at his place. He doesn’t have any roommates and he needs to have someone around to help with the anxiety and keep him on a schedule. With Arthur around, he doesn’t sink completely into a depression. Sure, he’s finding it hard to focus and stay motivated and he spends a lot more time on the couch, napping and watching jeopardy and comfort-eating, but he’s not completely vacant and spending all day in bed, forgetting to shower or eat like he might if he was alone.

Arthur has a little gym/studio in the spare bedroom where he draws and does his fuckin bowflex or whatever, and they set Charles up there so he can get some studying done and continue to attend classes online. Charles is just finishing his first year of law school and he’s like, determined not to let this whole situation fuck up his academic career, even if he’s a little worried about it all…

Arthur is going a little stir-crazy; he works at an autobody shop, and they closed for a couple weeks at the beginning so he was out of work for a while. He was all “perfect I can work on my art,” but he’s so used to being super busy working two jobs and going to the gym and shit that having so much free time has been stressful to him. He processes a lot of feelings through anger, so the punching bag on the balcony has taken some pretty rough beatings the past couple weeks…

He’s back at work now, three days a week, so he’s feeling a little better… I think his biggest concern is money, cuz with reduced hours and all the cons he was planning to sell art at being cancelled, his income is reduced, and as a teen/early 20s he struggled a lot so that really scared him… But Dutch and Hosea aren’t too bad off and they’ll help out if he or John are ever in a pinch…

I think Arthur authors/creates a queer cowboy romance webcomic, so he’s been working on that a lot… he’s finally pages ahead and has some updates queued, so if he needs to be can afford to take a break for a week or two! He’s psyched about that. His patreon profits have gone down a little, but he’s got some loyal-ass fans and they’re really helping him thru it, too, I think… and he’s made some new merch for the first time in ages, and has had time to open up more commissions… He and Charles spend a lot of afternoons in the study, listening to Arthur’s vinyls and working together in silence …

So Arthur is doing ok, and Charles is pulling through, but John is having a… really rough go. For someone who seems really chaotic, John really really thrives when he had a routine and a set schedule, and with classes being moved online or canceled, he’s really struggling to keep a routine and as a result, his mental health is suffering. It also doesn’t help that he can’t leave the house and can’t see Javi, a major source of security for him. John runs to get his frustration out, and not feeling like it’s safe to go for a run has him feeling really bad.

He and Javi FaceTime every night, but it’s not the same and John is pretty miserable. He spends a lot of time in his room, music Loud, and he stops sleeping with any sort of regularity. The stress also makes his nightmares worse, I think, so he’s spending a lot more time avoiding sleep, which definitely makes him even bitchier than he would be otherwise. That and the situation have him really snappy, so there’s some Big Fights between him and Arthur; fights over nothing, fighting just to have something to do, to just feel something, because he’s angry with the situation and the feelings and everything… He’d just started to get his life on track and here it is, all out of order again. The uncertainty and instability are really unsettling for him.

I think John’s been seeing his therapist online, but it’s not the same, and he really hates it. In the first few weeks, things were all over the place and he forgot to take his meds and stuff… when Arthur noticed something was wrong, he kind of just started gently helping John remember to do things, just gently coaxing him and reminding him to take his pills, etc…

Like Arthur starts making meal at the same time every day, and cooks for all three of them so John remembers to eat… he makes coffee and sings when he makes breakfast to wake John up, and they watch movies and play boardgames and stuff after dinner, just to keep John on a little bit of a schedule. John usually goes to bed in his own room and climbs into Arthur and Charles’ later in the night, but during this whole thing, he starts going to bed with Arthur and Charles, and that helps too...

I think eventually he gets a little more used to it, once he gets back into a routine and then he’s still having trouble, but he’s doing better…

Javi lives in college dorms, so he’s moved back to living with his mum and his sister, which sucks, but that also means he can borrow his mum’s car… so when John is feeling really bad, one day, Javi throws his guitar in the trunk and goes to John and Arthurs place and stands under the balcony and plays all the dumb joke songs he’s written for John… songs called shit like “im sorry I backwashed in your redbull, flaquita” and “youre a pendejo but I love you anyway” and that cheers them both up…

Also, John makes up little care packages and has Arthur drop them off at Javi’s!! little doodles (John’s been practicing drawing but he’s like, crazy bad, just awful) and poems (marginally better, not great), their favourite snacks, little trinkets from around the house and stuff he picks up on his runs (once he starts going on runs again), and of course, of course, cuz he’s nasty, panties that he MAYBE wore on his run, for Javi to, y’know, do with what he will…

And of course they have a lot of phone sex, especially once John pulls it together a bit… at first he kind of went AWOL and didn’t talk to anyone, let his phone go dead and stuff, but he’s doing better now and now they’re… being quarantine horny …

Javi prefers regular voice phonesex, loves to call John up and tease his girl until John whines for him to stop, ask if John is touching himself when Javi can tell by the hitch of his breath that he is… Javi loves that, but not seeing one another, John insists they do videocalls, even if Javi is a little uncomfortable…

But it leads to some… fun roleplay … John pretends to be an innocent starlet trying to make it big, and Javi is a big-time director that keeps on pushing… “you look so good on camera, babe, but maybe take the bra off, let us see how those little titties of yours look? Don’t be shy, it’s all business, just want to see… grab them for me, that’s it, now show me that ass…”

And they also play like Javi is broadcasting the video to everyone, like all his friends can see what a whore Javi’s girl is, how he can suck that dildo like it was a real cock and how desperate he is for it… they pretend Javi is advertising John as if he’s a thing for sale, like Javi is booking John’s ass by the hour…. All “cmon baby, show them how greedy your pussy is, you’re gonna take so many cocks for me tonight, you’ll be leaking cum by the time they’re done with you, you’ll be so sore but you’ll do it for me, won’t you, flaca? Til you’re rubbed raw and then I’ll slide into your wet, gaping hole…”

And of course, of course, John BIG gets off on watching Javi jerk off into the panties he sends him… Javi maybe even… sniffs them, licks them a little, cuz he misses John so bad and he loves the way John looks in the pale yellow, lacy panties he’s got wrapped around his dick, loves the idea of coming in them and then making John put them back on,…

Aaaand that’s that on that, I think!! So thanks for reading, mister, if you’re still out there somewhere. I have dental surgery tomorrow and I’m more scared than a spider in a shoe factory, so please wish me some luck and send me some non-COVID related asks, iffin you’re feeling it!!

[gyeomork]

Connections

(jackson wang x reader) 

genre: fluff, light smut, college au

warnings: sexual content, mild cursing

word count: 3.8k

a/n: i don’t capitalize my letters in this so if that bothers you, i’m sorry :( also italicized words mean they’re speaking english. also i lol don’t know what im talking about with all that “reading people” shit i just took a wyld guess but i hope you enjoy anyway ^3^

i enter my first class of the year, psychology 3. i take a seat, not really paying attention to who i sat next to. i take my laptop out of my backpack, place it on the table, flip it open and get ready to take notes. it was a new school year and i was not about to slack anymore. sophomore year was a complete shit show and i could not afford that this year, literally. i was skipping class like it was an olympic sport but guess what? tuition still had to be paid. i open up google docs and title the new document ‘19/8/19 notes, assignments & hw ’. the professor begins to speak and my full attention is now on her.

an hour passes and the class was wrapping up. “ok class the homework is for you all to make a powerpoint presentation on the person sitting next to you. you must analyze them as a person, describe their character traits and so on and so forth. think of it as an ice breaker activity and a way to make a new friend. more instructions will be posted online. i count 24 of you so i expect 24 emails on friday 23/8/19. presentations will be the following monday, if there are any questions feel free to email me. class dismissed.” i close my laptop and reach for my bag when i hear a deep familiar voice next to me say “hey! how’s it going?” i look to my right and see jackson, jackson wang. god not again. this man was handsome to say the very very least and a heart throb. i should know because i had him in psych 2 last year. we would almost always end up having to do a project together and almost always turn it in 2 minutes before it was due. it’s not like we were the best of friends and every time we met up we didn’t do work, it was just that we never really did meet up. every time he would text and ask i would be too scared to be in the same place as him because of how intimidated he made me feel. when we did meet up it was the night before so i absolutely had to go, for the sake of his grade. we wouldn’t talk much but when we did he was, for the most part, really nice. “hi.. jackson. it’s going.. good” i say quietly. “oh, that’s good. well if you’re free right now we could go get coffee to jumpstart this little project” god he had the cutest smile on his face. “oh yeah sure just let me get packed up” i said trying to avoid his gaze like the black plague.

after to fumbling with my belongings under the immense pressure his eyes were putting me under, we were finally able to leave. on the walk to the cafe, jackson sparks up conversation. “so, y/n, last year we never really talked much and i was a little let down because you actually seemed really cool. so i’m glad i get to do this project with you. i wanna get to know you” he looks over to me and grins widely. i return a small smile back. “where are you from?” he asked sounding genuinely curious. “the states” i mentally curse at myself for giving such a short, dry answer but he hums anyway. “i’m from china but i came here for a change, you know” “yup” i curse at myself again. a small silence passes, extra emphasis on small. “since you’re from the states do you-“ “speak english? yes” we both chuckle and god he was adorable. “oh cool so we could have our own semi-secret language” i give him a ‘you’re ridiculous’ look and we chuckle again. “so did you teach yourself english or did you go to an international school?” finally! i’m making semi-decent conversation. “international but i did do some studying on my own. so what about you? how did you learn hangul?” “ i loved watching and still do love watching dramas so one day i just got really annoyed with having to read the subtitles and just started teaching myself. i never really expected myself to get proficient at it, it just happened. then i thought i should put some use to it more than just dramas so i came here” wow the way i just rambled on just then. “ so how do you like it here?” he continues with the questions. “at first it was kind of hard to get used to because i went from using english every day and using hangul sometimes to using hangul every day and english sometimes” jackson nods in understanding. “ and then there are slang words that you need to learn and sayings and really understand the culture” he adds on. “ yes! exactly” regret of being so intimidated of him last year now fills me. he’s so easy to talk to. ugh am i stupid?

we reach the cafe and he opens the door for me “let me get that for you” “kam-sa-hap-nee-da!” i said in the most american accent i could do and he lets out an actual laugh that ascends me to the heavens. we both join the medium sized line. “you can just tell me what you want so you can go have a seat and i’ll bring it to you” this man is an angel. “iced americano, venti sized please and thank you” i say with a close-mouthed smile. “coming right up” he reciprocates the same smile. i make my way to a small booth in the corner by the window. i take out a small notepad and jot down things i’ve noticed about jackson. eventually, i get lost in thinking about how sweet he is and how easy he is to talk to and how his laugh is opposite of his deep voice and how his smile makes him look like a baby and then how he turns all hot again and oh my god i have a crush on jackson. like a cue, jackson comes and sets his and my coffee down and takes a seat across from me “thank you so much” “no problem” we both take a sip in unison. “analyzing me already?” he asks grabbing my notepad. all i had written was ‘really good energy’. really y/n? what the hell is that supposed to mean? he makes a ‘not bad’ face and sets my notepad back in front of me. i keep sipping and look out the window. “ok, ok” i could see him trying to hold in a snicker in the corner of my eye. i whip my neck to look and him and ask swiftly “what? why ‘ok ok’? what?”. “hm? nothing” he replies, still trying to hold in that laugh. “wah~ making fun of me already. at least i have something written down” he raises his eyebrows at me. “i have plenty of stuff written down in my head” “oh really?” i say in disbelief. “yes!” “ok. then prove it” i sit back and cross my arms. “just in the last 10 minutes, the things i’ve noticed ok. ready?” i just nod. “shy; when you laughed or smiled you didn’t show teeth. closed off; you chose the booth furthest away from other people. passive; you did nothing when i snatched your notepad. trusting; you trusted me with your drink and that i didn’t do anything to it. physical traits; well put together, pretty-“ i felt my face heat up and i had to stop him. “alright, alright you proved your point.” i waved him off and he laughs. “you asked for it” he says, laughter still in his voice. “i asked for you to prove yourself not show off” i say fake sulkily and extra pouty. he laughs even louder and makes a few heads turn. “ok jackson! people are looking.” i whisper shout and smile at him fully this time. “oh! you’re smiling” he points “you’re not shy around me anymore!” “ok you have to teach me how to read people like that” i rest my hand on my chin and my elbow on the table. “well, for starters, we could go back to the ‘getting to know you’ questions. so, when’s your birthday?”

after hours of talking, we had to leave simply because the cafe was closing. jackson looks at his watch and widens his eyes. “it’s 22:58 (10:58 pm). oh my god. do you have class tomorrow? i’m so sorry for keeping you out so late, i’ll walk you home. where do you live? oh my god i’m really so sorry” he apologized profusely. “no” i say flatly. “n-no?” he furrowed his eyebrows. “i don’t have class tomorrow it’s fine” i let out breathy laugh. “do you?” i raise my brows at him. “no” he sighs out in relief. “alright come on. let me walk you home” i barely take two steps when i stop and drop my head into my hands. “my.. RA. it’s past curfew. i’m dead” i say defeated. “oh my friend i can stay with- she has class tomorrow and she’s probably sleeping” i say gaining hope and losing it instantly. “i guess i’ll just take the warning, it’s only one” i start dragging my feet i the direction of my dorm. “you could.. stay the night with me. my RA isn’t as strict with the rules”. was that nervousness i heard in his voice? jackson? the same jackson that told me stories of him being bold and fearless? jackson? wang? never. “i don’t want to be a burden-“ i wave him off. “ you won’t be” he insists. i look into his eyes and really sink deep into those two chocolate pools. all that is visible is purity and good intentions; i trust him. “ok” i smile. “thank you” “no problem”

we get to his dorm and as he is unlocking the door he informs me that his 3 other roommates won’t be there until late that night so we’re safe from the teasing. he opens the door and lets me in first. it’s dark until jackson comes in and turns on the kitchen light. he sits around the island and i join him. i take this time to look around. right across from the kitchen was the living room that was in good shape for 3 boys, diagonal of the living room was the laundry room that was neat too, there was a walkway from the front door in between the laundry room and the kitchen leading to the living room, and one long hallway/walkway passing in between the living room and the kitchen continuing both ways to god knows where. there was also a sliding door in the living room leading to the balcony. “you must be hungry. do you want me to cook or is takeout ok?” come to think of it i haven’t eaten since lunch.  i was so absorbed in jackson that i didn’t even realize how hungry i am. “yeah, takeout is fine” “is pizza ok?” he says pulling out his phone. “oh pizza is more than ok” i say, starting to get excited “ok miss pizza what would you like on it?” “pepperoni please~” “alright.. and the pizza is on it’s way” he hops off the chair with ‘hmph’. he walks over to me and holds his hand out to help me down. “thank you” i take his hand and get off the chair. “come on i’ll give you everything you need”. he leads me to his room at the end of the short hallway without letting go of my hand. he turns on fairy lights that aren’t too bright but are enough to make everything visible. he turns to the left to his walk-in closet to retrieve me a hoodie and some sweatpants. he tells me that when i go in the bathroom there should be an extra toothbrush behind the mirror. i say thank you for the 100th time today and go to sit on his bed to wait for him. “i can put something on if you want” he come and sits next to me on the bed. “mm..” i think about all the shows that i need to catch up on and finally choose one. “can you put on ‘he is psychometric’?” “ohh yes! what episode are you on?” he gets excited. “the last one and it’s so good, i just never have time to watch” “me either” he puts it on the tv and the pizza arrives. “that was quick” i say shocked because my pizza takes at least an hour to come. “yeah the place is right down the block; convenient” he comes back to the room with pizza and shuts the door.

we finish ‘he is psychometric’ and both of the pizzas. “i’m gonna go change” i take jackson’s clothes to the bathroom. i change into the comfy clothes that smells like him and brush my teeth. i pull my hair into a bun that i ruled ok for jackson to see and leave the bathroom. “oh you look good in my clothes but don’t go stealing it now” he says like he’s my father and gives me a stern look. i giggle and say “ok” sarcastically. he goes in the bathroom to change as well. i pull my notepad and pencil out my bag and sit in front of what seems to be his work desk. i write more analyzations and now have to flip the page thanks to jackson teaching me how to properly read people. i’m on a roll until jackson presses his hands on my shoulders and yells “boo!” “oh my god!” i jump and turn around in the swivel chair. “i’m sorry i had to” he laughs at me hysterically. “yah~ don’t do that! stop laughing!” i smack him on the shoulder repeatedly. “ok ok, yah!” he grabs hold of my wrists and is now inches away from my face; staring into my eyes. “i-i’m tired. where can i sleep?” i had to break the growing silence. jackson lets go and backs away “you can sleep on my bed, i’ll set up on the couch” he said walking towards the door. “no” i command, stopping him in his tracks. “ when the guys get home they’re going to ask why you’re on the couch and from the stories you’ve told me, you’re not a good liar” he turns back around but still doesn’t move. “you’re right” he says grinning. “well get on the bed so that when i turn off the lights you won’t trip and break your neck” “alright, no need to reference that traumatic story ok, that was a very scary experience” i say getting on the bed. “i’m just saying if you had a night light-“ “ok! jackson! good night!”

i was on the edge of sleep when i felt a heavy arm fall around my waist and a warm body touching all of my back side. steady breathing was blowing on the baby hairs on the back of my neck. he was sleeping. i suddenly started to feel uncomfortable in the position i was in and couldn’t take it anymore. while adjusting and re-adjusting my lower half, i inevitably brush up against jackson’s area. he didn’t respond so i assumed he just didn’t feel it so i continued on the quest to getting comfortable, all the while rubbing against him with my ass. suddenly jackson grips my hip. “you better stop playing with me” he growls lowly into my ear, ultimately ruining my new underwear i got from victoria secret on sale but i couldn’t possibly be mad at him. the ache in my core was way too strong to ignore so i reply as seductively as i could “who said i was playing?” while pushing up against him. he groans and i feel him grow beneath me. he attaches his lips to my neck and sucks and nips and licks away. he finds my spot at the base of my neck and i let out a low moan. when he feels as of though he’s left a satisfactory mark, he licks and kisses the spot. he turns me to face him and wastes no time in connecting his lips to mine. passion begins to fill the room as he climbs on top of me. the hands that are on my waist start travelling under his hoodie i had on. his warm hands on my bare skin was setting me on fire. one of his legs that was positioned between my legs started to rub against my core. i moan loudly into his mouth and he doesn’t miss his chance to stick his tongue in my mouth. i break the kiss to catch my breath and jackson moves back to my neck to leave more marks. i was lost in my own pleasure when i come to my senses. “jackson” i breathe out. he removes his lips from my neck for a brief moment “yes baby”. “what about the guys?” “fuck the guys” he tugs at the bottom of his hoodie and he looks up at me asking for permission. i nod and he removes the hoodie swiftly as he begins kissing his way down my body.

i wake up the next morning with the comforter covering more than half of my face so the sunlight seeping through the window didn’t bother me too much. i was initially startled about where i was but i soon remembered. then i remember the events of the night before. i turn around to see the beautiful man that shared the events of the night before with me. the light highlighting his features perfectly. from his fluffy, messy hair to his soft, plump lips. i move to brush away the hair that was in his face and move down to caress his cheek. how did this even happen? and how did it happen so quickly? i guess it’s the jackson effect. he flutters his eyes open and when he sees me, he immediately gives the softest smile. he pulls me closer in his arms and whispers “good morning princess”. i hum and say good morning back. “how’d you sleep?” he kisses my forehead. “really good” i take a deep breath, inhaling his intoxicating natural scent. we stay like that for a while until we realize that we have to leave before the guys wake up and tease us. or the extreme awkwardness considering the fact that we may or may not have gotten a noise complaint. jackson gives me fresh clothes to leave in and i freshen up, doing most but not all of my morning routine due to the shortage of time. i grab my bag and exit the room with him. we’re walking down the hallway when i forget my notepad on his work desk and go back for it. on the way back to him i hear voices coming from the living room, i stay out of sight to eavesdrop. “jackson i swear to god you should do my- no our homework for the next week” one voice says, putting emphasis on ‘our’. “i shut my door, turn my music on my speaker up all the way, and even covered my ears with 2 pillows but could still fucking hear you two. jackson i swear to god if you don’t warn us next time” another voice says and lets out a deep sigh. “you guys i’m sorry i really didn’t plan-“ another voice cuts him off . “no you’re not sorry, you’re gonna be sorry when your ass is doing my physics homework for the next week” “i don’t even know how to do physics” “well you better figure it out” i couldn’t hear anymore of this, i had to save him. i walk out into the living room “um.. g-good morning” i wave awkwardly. damn! this is exactly what i wanted to avoid. they all look up at me with wide eyes “good morning” they say all out of sync. jackson stands next to me and holds my hand “this is my girlfriend, y/n” my heart drops, comes back up, does some somersaults, and skips numerous beats. “y/n this is jinyoung, jaebeom, and mark”. i give a small closed-mouth smile. “well, this was fun but y/n and i have places to be” he looks down at me and smiles “let’s go” jackson starts walking to the door and drags me along. i look back and wave goodbye and so do they, still looking baffled. jackson locks the door and we start walking down the hallway. ”i could tell you were uncomfortable so i had to get you out of there” he says with a hint of urgency in his voice and i laugh. “thank you but were we really that loud?” i ask putting emphasis on ‘that’. “i don’t know but what i do know is that i’m that good” i roll my eyes at him “yeah ok”. “so ‘girlfriend’ huh?” he looks down and scratches the back of his neck. “y-yea” his ears turn red. “you haven’t even taken me out on a date yet.” i scoff in fake disbelief. “i was hoping that i could go on a date today and then i could confess to you but i guess i got a little ahead of myself” “you think?” we chuckled. “confession? how long did you like me?” “ever since i had to do that first project with you in psych 2. whenever i’d ask to meet up and you said you couldn’t it always made me think you didn’t like me. and when we did you were kind of standoffish so i gave up. until you sat next to me yesterday” he smiles thinking about it. “i’m sorry that i made you think that i was just so intimidated by you and your good looks and what not.” “good looks?” he raises his eyebrow at me. “take the compliment or i’ll take it back” “oh no thank you thank you”

we leave his dorm building to the parking lot and his car. “i changed up our schedule for today a little bit.” he unlocks the doors and we get in. “what did you change?” he starts the car so the hot air doesn’t literally suffocate us. “after we visit your dorm we have to go to the mall”. he takes my hand and intertwined our fingers. “the mall? why?” i look over at him and furrow my eyebrows. he looks at me and smirks “to get you back that cute little underwear i tore off you last night” brings my hand to his lips and kisses it.

[lovemesomesurveys]

Have you ever had FOMO (fear of missing out)? Yeah.  If so, what’s caused it? I’ve missed out on a lot these past few years alone because of my physical and mental (that more than anything). I’ve just been a hermit crab, wasting my life away, distant and withdrawn from everyone. Are you happy with your social life? I don’t have one. If not, what would you have to do to change that? The sad thing is I don’t want one? At least that’s what my brain tells me. Like, part of me wants to want one, but. I don’t know, man. I’m a mess. Have you ever hosted a party? If so, what kind of party was it? Yeah, just a couple times. I don’t like hosting, it’s too stressful.

What’s the best thing you can cook yourself? The only thing I cook is ramen. Are there a lot of graffiti around your neighbourhood? Not around my neighborhood, but in my city. What kind of a phone do you have? iPhone XR. What kinds of stuff do you have on your keychain? One key and a shitload of keychains haha. I have several on the ring with the one key, but I have so many that I had to start putting them other places like on every purse/mini backpack I own. Have you ever made something with your own hands that you’re proud of? Probably when I was a kid. If so, what is it? What is your favourite Jack Lemmon film? I don’t have one. What is your favourite David Hyde Pierce film? A Bug’s Life and Adam’s Family Values are the only films of his I’ve seen. Have you ever made your own soda? (Soda Stream doesn’t count!) Nope. Do you have a hobby that forces you out of the house? If so, what is it? No. My hobbies are all done at home and can be done in the comfort of my bed. Have you ever been part of a theater group? No. If so, did you get any lead roles or mostly supporting roles? Which IM app do you use the most? I don’t use any. I mean, I have Facebook Messenger, but I haven’t used it in a long time. What’s the most ecological thing you do? Recycling plastic bottles and cans. What’s your favourite board game? Why do you like it best? Hmm. That’s tough. I love board games. Besides English, what other languages can you speak? Just some Spanish. Besides English, what other languages can you read? Some Spanish. Do you think you could make it as a chef? Uh, no. What’s your favourite kind of tea? I rarely drink tea, but I do like Chamomile and peppermint tea. How do you like your tea? With a packet of sweetener. Girls, do you ever just say “Fuck it!” and go without a bra? Yeah. I have small breasts and wear oversized shirts, so. I didn’t used to do that (ever), but the past few years I stopped caring about a lot of things. What’s the most freeing thing you’ve ever done? Hmm. Have you ever had a restaurant dish that was made with bugs? Noooo. If not, would you even want to try one? Noooo. Do you think today’s kids are really impatient? A lot of people are. I am. Although, I bet kids today probably are worse because they’re used to being able to access things quickly and have a lot of things at their disposal. Have you ever tasted birch sap? No.

How about the young buds/shoots of spruce trees? No. Which edible flowers have you tasted? None. I’m not an adventurous eater AT ALL.  What has been your worst restaurant experience? I really haven’t had a horrible restaurant experience.

Have you ever had a life threatening condition? If so, what was it? I’ve been in a couple life threatening situations. Do you ever compare your life to somebody else’s? If so, why? Eh, it’s something we can’t help but do sometimes. <<< Yeah, I definitely find myself doing that. Like with people my age who are further along in life it seems and doing more with it. Even people younger than me who seem to have way more together than I do or ever did.  What is a food item or a dish you absolutely cannot stand? I don’t do seafood. Have you ever had a custom print done on a shirt? If so, what was it? I’ve decorated my own shirts for concerts before. What does your favourite mug look like? It’s a Peter Pan one that’s blue on the outside and yellow on the inside.

Do you ever copy surveys to Facebook Notes and share your answers? I did that sometimes years ago. I set the privacy settings so only certain people could see them, though. To be honest, I usually did ones with answers I wanted Joseph to see. :X Yeah, I was that girl who posted quotes and lyrics for certain people to see. What’s the best thing about today? It’s only 5 in the morning, not much has happened. Do you ever read other people’s survey answers? Yes, always. Everyone I follow on here writes very well and it’s always interesting to read their answers :) <<< Awww, yes same. We have a pretty cool survey community. (: Do you like daytime or night time better? Why? Nighttime, I guess. It’s when I like to do surveys, listen to ASMR, and read. What’s your highest level of education so far? I have my BA in psych believe it or not. If you could have any job in the whole world, which would you like? I don’t know. :/ Describe your ordinary day. Wake up between 2-3PM, have coffee, do my Bible study, check social medias, perhaps watch some YouTube, watch TV, eat at some point, lounge and mess around on my phone, play Animal Crossing, have dinner, watch some TV, eat ramen and watch more YouTube, scroll through Tumblr, do some surveys, listen to ASMR, read, play some more Animal Crossing, go to sleep. A lot of just lounging around, honestly. I also spend time with my family. Would you ever have a UV tattoo? Nah. What is the brand and colour name of your favourite lipstick? It’s been a long time I’ve since I’ve even worn any, but I really liked NYX. What do you like on your tortilla? Beans, Spanish rice, cheese, guac, and sour cream. Or a breakfast burrito. How about inside your pita bread? I don’t eat pita bread. What do you like in your burger? Not a big burger person, but if I have one just mayo, ketchup, mustard, pickles, and cheese. Signature sauce when available like on a Big Mac (which I know is just Thousand Island). How about on your pizza? White sauce, feta and ricotta cheese, garlic, spinach, crumbled meatballs, and pesto drizzled on top. Would you ever take part in a games club? A games club? If so, what would be your ideal club? How about a survey club, ha. We kinda have that going on here. Would you be able to give a speech on your favourite subject right now? Noooo thank you. I do not miss having to do speeches and presentations. Ugh, those were awful. It never got any easier for me. Do you work better alone or in a group? Alone. Group projects just made me stress out more, honestly. 

Which one of your friends have you known the longest? For how long? What is your favourite song right now at this very moment? I’ve been listening to the Savage remix a lot lately by Megan the Stallion ft. Beyonce.

[screechingtrashcalzonewombat]

"Apopalictic Astral Asending" Reavaluate disassociate my self worth...

The galaxies have birthed an uncontrollable being ....

I've feel as tho Ive seen myself split in two ..

Witch side do u wanna see if ur lucky I'll let you choose .

Cause in the end I loose..

One of hate one of love could both be from up above..

Or down below ...

I've began to show signs of delusions as half my mind goes an tells me it's only mild confusion. As my body fights my brain an heart to escape theys terrible illusions.

Yet the other half tries to start a fusion of body an mind an all the suddently my thoughts are no longer mine..

But a evil so Divine that its wound it's way threw time itself I've fealt the damage the energy dealt. I've yelped in anquish an pain been stuck for 7 long years in the rain with nothing to gain .. I can barely fathom to explain im not fully on earth I'm on another astral plane but i fear i flew out of my lane I've gone insane never wanted fame Ever fealt like bat man I mean oops Bruce Wayne. Nah fuck hes spoiled a wet rat infact I'm more like hulk duck when I'm near i wearly see I'm drowning inside my mind but no one can hear my dear I fear I've lost control again but cant compute I've been booted out of the system I've clawed hit an kicked to try to get to the top but i outta of known I've been ripped an thrown from my throne ive been shown what this beast can do but who woulda thought a demon bought my soul ..a jackal a goul.....you'll see me shift into numbness I suposse it was my own dumbness for being to open now cause of me my body an mind are broken an stole. as I weep an shutter an i try to speak but only stutter I found myself weak in defeat ....as ik this demon reaching its peak will plunder an pillage the town I've found I'm bound to this beast nowhere to run not north south or east I can run it will feast on my soul until the end of time ..

For diamonds cannot compare to the rarity of a soul nor a bowl of Ruby's an jems rolled in gold .....

A bold statement you say........

.. theres no ray of light here they stole it away buried it in your mind but how can u define being locked trapped in yourself ...

You've dealt your own fate ...

Wanting ansers u dint deserve ..

Did you like your just dessert's...no?

Dose it hurt ..... After you itll kill children's childhood freinds like bernie & eart ....whent bizzirk an bashed there brains makeing bloody rains

curking on everyone with cutlery forks an knifes* slice *cook big bird with chives after I've shanked him 900 times... 100 more woulda been devine serve him drink to dry alone cooked an ripped him to the bone but not quite alone u may not be home inside but u can still watch...I thought I taught u better than to close ur eyes dont beg or look surprised look away an I'll adopt another stray to do the same a slow sweet death cure's my hunger anyway

.the wines innocents blood bitter sweet to the taste of the tounge

no one thought it capable I seemed...looked ...so young..

They dint know it had just begun it wasn't me but the evil half committing crime with glee an fleeing repetavidly revealingly images to my mind of times & crimes so sickening I thought I'd die forever scetched seered into my mind .binded with no power as one towers over you using your power you cowar for how dose one define the disasbalment of there an every defined mind while ur inner demon dines on flesh making a mess of your vessel you cant even wrestle your way to the light to stay only break down in defeat that your so far away you've became an internal mess cant even stand on ur feet the beast has u chained in defeat u cry an apologize looking for answers as of how to stop.....an then...you hear a voice .." you outta stayed silent instead of talk back. U shouldn't of complained do u still think ur life used to be pain...... . Ur a sack of shit ur wit is less than that of an ant not to rant but I'm not done yet I have ur soul now I'm never letting go no no no I have plenty more so much to show many souls to reap an emotions to subdue after all u said yes.....

...did you forget ur the one who started this.

mess ......you dressed your mind with fantasy an fiction word to the wise never mess with other worldly friction an your itching for a way out but I doubt ull get there before the end of time .after all you had a devil an an angel on ur shoulder an you chose wrong this time. Only took 666 times but I'm patient an always waiting for 6 years hating an burning flesh waiting for a prayer a call after all Lucifer was once an angel an the most beautiful you just dint get to see from what angle he had beauty wrath an determination but u humans resulted in his isolation incarsorason. So now we will end up being humanity's enialation when were done there entire selves with evaporate for the demons have released self hate to pro create creatures in confidence we annihilate the fate of the human race at least the trace slight like us able to bust threw dementions so weve mentioned a start to find the inordinary soul an heart ......humanity was doomed from the start.. you stole our purpose our reason to be......humans sit in sin an glee.

Your humanitys Pride is overbearing never genuinely caring ..

Greed is sweeping the nation its reached ever state an it's got a hot heaping plate of corruption for mankind's consumption greed is grotesque in its steps of the darkest quest to corupt ur mind an want. .want..want until that's all you are is wanting more

Lusting over losely draped garments you've tarnished ur soul .

Envy of what you do not posses but for all you know that information an life would make you a mess but ud still test ur envious tendencies.....

Glutton glutton what have you gained it's not knowledge no for it's to plain rather glutton uve found a urge that wont go away....

Wrath an vengeance blood draw too no one stops till some dies him or you....

Sloth last but not least cant forget you cause uuuh wait what that fuck do u do....you sleep an sulk sit slither out of simple tasks an that's why ur not 1st no ur last like humanity just ask ....

So soon the day will draw near the the number 4 is what you should fear our dear old freinds were sending up for a visit so they can reddit ur fate for each a horse an a trait the first out the door with bow in hand riding a white horse with bow in hand

..

Conquest the start of the final test leading the restthere dark version of light on a white stallion he leads the way an soon will follow hades anyway.

War was next on a red steed he rode prepared to purge an quench new blood for the wars an battels would just begin brother against brother an close of kin witch to win?

Famine foe of all on a black horse with the courses hair so fair merely bone but dont let his appearance fool you hes for he is full devouring your greed taking away everything you want or need an now ur rationed to nearly starvation stretching farther than destination world wide sensation...

Pleage reaper of souls slowly apears steadly trotting riding a very sickly steed looking pale an almost gruesome green with sores an sickness best keep a distance. For he shall be the bringer of death an reap you all one by one to the four you shall fall...

Will you be spared are you true....

Are you happy with your life what did you do...?

Rapture no you still must die.....

Say good by to this earthy chapter theres so much more that manifest after.

But only your earthly husk must rust an fall your all energy of grate mass....

It's time to take the task of self evolvment an enjoy an enlightened installment

this world was just step wrench ur third eye wide open an accept the token of eternal life.

Grinded it to atoms a flash of dust all together ur a self fulfilling must memory pass u in a rush.....

. sudently ur bodysuit is gone ....

But it dint felt like it quite belonged.

You were 7 grams of light matter to be exact an sudently you've cracked the atmosphere ..steering energetic waves my metal psyche caves to the new information flying threw stars consolations.

Suddently speeding at the sound of light the stratosphere seems to disapear ..

My fear is gonewithout a trace an freedom transferred in its place

but am waved in infatuation to find out about out true destination...

Restoration of the soul the goal of a higher self being achieved as I crash into the sun 1500°

I feel a warmth like no other each being hues of light I might of missed earth if not I heard a voice but a mental push no need for speech just thinking it shall be done said by the the brightest in the sun.

Rejoice at last but ur journeys yet to pass ..

This is merely were you start ....

Our flames grew high with frantic waves not wanting to give up the new life we were just gave

Suddenly our flames grew dim as we felt a swirling deep from withn sudently the surface of the sun turned to tin an bent in a cracked an caved with itself our time an space sending us ascending in alignment the same assignment.

Because the sun has begun to change ina twisted way a black hole some could say.

As all of our astral beings were ripped an tore apart at the seams we all merged an formed one all knowing creative being an sudently everything I've know has little matter I'm past a point of human chatter i understand infinity the holy trinity I down in the milky way an experienced every life I've relived it twice I've spliced my genetics into over 2000 million beings I've seen good an bad in between experienced every tragedy to build my strength an studyd every thesis an theory thread an chain nearly drove my vessel insane even took knifes threw my veins in anger yet it failed I was just a trailer.ive seen love hate an anger

Comprehension compasing many others I have love an understanding past many beings there anger seems to brush by me cause I'm with 2000 souls an minds that have formed one to reach a state I can medidate in the milky way an force your negative away .

Our astral self has accumulated complete power an understanding by costuming to our full potential our old body's merely a rental.

Gentle at first then bursted into power showered in knowledge I know now much that I wondered before but now I want more an I've thought till I an 2000 shared beings head hurt cause my girth of knowledge will now never be enough it's tough cause now I must find .... how to ascend again but for now i must defend my vast mind defind crime ...?

Keeping 2000 vast voices locked away so I can focus an try to learn anyway leaning in to vast places is I the 1st 2nd or 3rd or other many plains I cant quiet place I'm traveling threw them all searching for everything I couldn't before .

This life isent like the countless other this life I like it has interesting teathers

I've surpass Angel's an there feathers an vison of a hawk.

I've surpass demonds and there demonic temping talk ..

I've walked on water as I was ripped apart an I felt my self rebuilt every cell of my being got hit with rods of power lightning not even myself can fight me god like abilities the universe as built in me theres ben a spiritual shift a tilt in me somthing generations of DNA sprawled out in a numerical display my old life experiences is the price I pay so that I can be god even if only for a day

I think I'll sit an think somewere in the outter spink of the universe I've cursed myself with knowledge an now I'm aware step into my astral space....

If you dare...

[hitchell-mope]

(Third film. After “who we are”. Part two)

(Jay’s about to leave with Matty but Carlos pulls him aside)

Carlos: good morning

Jay (smirking): good morning

(They almost kiss but Matty distracts them)

Matty (disgusted): BLEAURGH

Ben (sensing trouble): do we have a problem here?

Matty: they’re both so old

Carlos (offended): I’m only eight years older then you, you little twerp

Matty: Still

Mal: you know what! Doug. Doug can take you to your room. Could you please take him to his room Doug ol buddy ol pal of mine. Please?

Doug (thoroughly enjoying the verbal sparring match): sure. I have experience dealing with monetarily obsessed children. C’mon kid

(They leave. Ben turns to Mal)

Ben: that. was

Mal: exhausting

Ben: but worth it

Mal: ahem if you say so.

Ben: hey bud. The elderly need to have a talk. Do you mind taking an early lunch?

Carlos (knowing full well what Ben is planning on doing): So jay, is the brunch table still open

Jay: why yes. Yes it is

(The disappear in a puff of gold smoke)

Ben (offering Mal his hand): c’mon. I wanna show you something

Mal (taking his hand, intrigued): oh really

(Elsewhere)

Celia: So this is gonna be our room?

Dizzy: for tonight. Tomorrow we’ll be at mom and dads starter castle.

Celia: for how long?

Evie: the entire summer. But, but, if you prefer. Tiana and Naveen or mama Odie have rooms ready at their homes.

Celia: hmmmmm. How long is this summer?

Evie: ...twelve weeks. Three months

Celia: you’ll do. For now

(She smiles mischievously. Dizzy crows with delight and immediately starts showing her the amenities Auradon has to offer)

Celia: Dizz, Dizzy, Dizzy. It’s ok. I think I’m gonna like it here.

(This is when “I think I’m gonna like it here” happens. At the end of which Celia bumps into a pink clad figure)

Celia: hey watch it

Audrey: I am so sorry I heard you guys

Evie: eavesdropping? I thought you’d learned your lesson by now

Audrey (face set in a kind smile but scared stiff): the halls are echoey

Evie: sure(.) Celia, this is the kings ex girlfriend

Celia: you’re that bitch that insulted Evie when she first came here

Audrey (looking terrified): mhmm

Celia: So what do you do now you’re not gonna be queen anymore

Audrey: I am in summer school because I took an impromptu spa vacation last semester during term time

Celia: why?

Dizzy: Maleficent tried to kill her at the coronation

Celia: oh yeah. I watched that. So sad you lived

(Audrey looks at Evie silently asking for a defence. Evie smiles evily)

Evie: it was oh so very sad.

Audrey: m-moving ahem on. I am princess Audrey of Auroria. And I will be your dorm advisor next school year.

Celia: is that supposed to mean anything to me

Evie: basically she’s just your glorified unpaid babysitter. Who can’t control anything you do. But you are at liberty to annoy her. There’s nothing to petty to go to her with

Audrey: well I need to sleep but

Evie: Abigail Sweet never slept when we needed her for something

(Audrey looks like she’s trying to swallow a brick)

Celia: puce is a good colour on you

Audrey (running her fingers through her hair): it’s a really dark magenta actually

Celia: wavy talking about the hair

(In the distance two voices shriek then laugh)

Evie: So the twins have seen the statue then

Audrey: here is the menu for today’s dinner

Celia: ah man. No rabbit pie.

Evie: the bolognese is just tonight’s recommendation. There’s a full buffet. And if you can’t find what you want. You can always use magic to create it.

Celia: I really like it here

(At the brunch table)

Carlos: morning gran

Jay: you have two more grandsons

Belle: hello dears. And yes Gil told me about the twins. Where are they?

Jaylos: fencing arena

Belle: aw that’s nice. Gil and Lonnie spend so much time there. It’s good to keep healthy. Unlike me.

Carlos: uh gran? It’s 11 o’clock in the morning. And you don’t smoke

Belle: I am, how do say it? Oh yes. Psyching myself up.

Jay: it’s finally happening then?

Belle: yes

Carlos: bout time if you ask me.

Belle: where is Ben. I’d like to say goodbye before I leave

Carlos: where they first met

Belle (smiling knowingly): do please tell him where I’ve gone.

Jay: of course. Want me to teleport you to the court house?

Belle: no thank you dear. I’m taking a car. Gives me time to think.

Jay: I can drive.

Belle: thank you for offering. But they’ll want to see you after if it works.

Carlos: and if it doesn’t work. She might not be ready remember

Belle: then they’ll both need you.

Elsa: queen mother. The cars here.

Belle: thank you Elsa. Are you?

Elsa: no. My daughter is expecting me

Belle: word of advice. Never marry a man who lies about resurrecting a man who attacked the both of you back from the dead.

Elsa: wasn’t planning to.

(Belle leaves)

Elsa: now boys. I see chocolate croissants and salmon bagels that are yet to be eaten. I declare a competition. Who ever finishes this food first will get the royal Arendelle chocolate fountain for the summer. I’ll referee. Sound good?

Jay: Hell yeah.

(Back in the courtyard. Ben’s used his magic to create a eatery area with a full buffet table. And a projector and film reel)

Ben: So this is a

Mal: butter bar

Ben: a butter bar? Um

Mal: context?

Ben: yes please

Mal: I was bored. And hungry. You were in a budget meeting. And Evie was annoying me. So I got a stick of butter, dipped it in cinnamon, dipped it in chocolate, deep fried in churro batter, and put peanut sprinkles on top. Magic keeps everything from melting.

Ben: that sounds absolutely disgusting. And I must try it

Mal: go ahead

Ben: I might be a decent cook, but you’re a confectionery genius

Mal: why thank you. How did our niece get on with her first transfer session?

Ben: she was great. Everyone was so great. Except

Mal: yeah?

Ben: Celia asked why you weren’t there.

Mal: ah. What did you guys say?

Ben: Carlos took care of it.

Mal: he didn’t mention my therapy did he?

Ben: no. No he didn’t

Mal: oh thank goodness. Don’t worry. I’m not, ashamed, of getting help. But it’s just that

Ben: when people you’ve not seen for a while are prone to judgement it can be a little difficult to admit your foibles

Mal: yeah. So anyway all this is very very nice. But why. Oh boy. It’s not your birthday is it?

Ben: that was two months ago. You took me to dinner at Tony’s?

Mal: right. A Thursday. It’s not my birthday is it?

Ben: you’re a month older then me

Mal: I might need to change Friday night drinks from beer to orange juice

Ben: ahhh you’re fine.

Mal: well I am half human. Not exactly pure

Ben: neither of us are.

Mal: yeah. Yeah we aren’t. So anyway. What is all this for. You can’t have missed me that much. You were only gone for twelve hours

Ben: I always miss you. But no. This is the exact same spot where we first met. A year and a half ago today.

Mal: this isn’t an anniversary. Is it?

Ben: no

Mal: oh thank god for that. I’m so sorry. That sounded cruel

Ben: that’s ok. I kinda like it when you’re a little cruel.

Mal (cackling): yeah I know. So what is that for

(She points to the film projector)

Ben: ah yes! I learned a new spell

Mal: oh yeah?

Ben: memory and dream extraction.

Mal (intrigued): continue

Ben: my dreams. And memories. About us

Mal: is that why..? The whole eatery enclosure thing

Ben: mostly because I needed food. But yeah. The occasion provides privacy. Shall I press play.

Mal: go for it. Jesus. Is that what my hair looks like from the back? And who’s speaking?

Ben: you’re hair always looks nice. And that’s me. My inner monologue

Mal: ah. And do you still have that suit?

Ben: not anymore no. I don’t think it would fit.

Mal (chuckling fondly): do you ever miss your old hair?

Ben: I’ve got purple roots because of my magic. It makes me closer to you. Why would I miss my old hair.

Mal: you’re sweet. Ah fuck.

Ben: yeah my technique is rather crude. But we got together in the end

Mal: yes. Yes we did. I tried to avoid you for so long. Because I believed you deserved better then a villain

Ben: well I’ve always been somewhat attracted to the darkness and badassery

Mal: oh the badassery is all jay. The darkness is all me. But I’m working on it. Still remember our little conversations back then

Ben: of course

(He uses magic to activate a nearby stereo. Mal shrieks in delight. This is when “as lovers go” starts. After the song)

Mal: oh my god. Omigod omigod omigod

Ben: I love you. Would you like to be my queen

(Mal tackles him in a bear, or dragon, hug)

Mal: yes. Yes yes yes. To be honest I kinda knew you had this planned

Ben: oh really?

Mal: yeah. Evie’s not been able to look at me for a month without crying. Speaking of

(She gets off of and dissolves the faux eatery revealing their friends who’ve been waiting)

Mal: C. You’ve got an official father

Carlos: YEEEEEEEEES

(He bounds up and hugs them both)

Jay (jokingly): you know if you do anything to hurt

Ben: I’m sure my magic will get to me first Jay.

Doug (more warningly but still with a smile): same goes for you Mal

Mal: Roger

(She disentangles herself from the boys)

Mal: hey. Are we filming?

Evie: I think the approved press are still here. Or at least their cameras are.

Mal: Doug buddy. Could you start rolling

Doug: sure

Mal (turning to the camera, takes a deep breath): IM ENGAGED!!!! HAHAHAHA

Evie (aside to Doug): I dunno why but I kinda thought that’d be more regal

Jay and Lonnie: it’s Mal. What did you expect

(Once Doug shuts the camera off)

Audrey: ooh ooh ooh. You can borrow my shoes.

Mal: I have bigger feet then you pal. But thank you for offering.

Chad (running up and pushing between the two friends): NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Don’t touch her! You’re not the queen. You’re a fugly hag of a witch. Audrey’s the rightful queen. Soon everyone will see and

(Mal gives Audrey a look, Audrey nods her head, Mal wafts chad away mid sentence in a puff of smoke)

Mal: drunk, stoned or just plain tired?

Audrey: probably all three

(Elsewhere)

Gil: where mama? She should be here

Squeaky: uncle Florrie does this make Mal our auntie now?

Ben: sure does buddy. Moms at the courthouse. It’s the first of June. Dad finally stopped dragging his feet

Gil: ohhh

(End of part two)