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veeagainsttheday · 8 months

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After some discussion in a gc I ranked the OFMD soundtrack choices for each season.

Season 1:

Gnossienne No. 5: I have a Pavlovian response to this song now. I hear it and a little movie reel in my mind starts up with The Kiss (Season 1 edition).

The Chain: This was my most played song of 2022 on Spotify for a reason. The choreography: immaculate. That shot where the small boats are approaching the Revenge and it skips to the beat? Should have won an Emmy on its own. And Stede and Ed looking at each other as the music and the world fades away leaving only their love? Yeah, that’s the good shit.

Avalanche: This music overlaying Ed’s transformation into the Kraken, the shots of Stede’s books falling into the water? “I have begun to long for you/I who have no greed/I have begun to ask for you/I who have no need/You say you've gone away from me/But I can feel you when you breathe” It takes a scene that could have been campy or funny and with the power of Leonard Cohen elevates it to the most emotionally devastating shit you’ve ever seen.

Our Prayer: It’s so brief but it’s SO good. The blissful music overlaying Stede’s smile at being known.

Miles from Nowhere: Beautiful song, beautiful sentiment, Stede is finally, truly free of his old life and is on his way to discover what his new one will be: “I have my freedom/I can make my own rules/Oh yes, the ones that I choose”

High on a Rocky Ledge: I loved this choice as an opening and hearing it over the shot of all the flags always makes me so emotional.

Perfect Day: I can’t believe I’ve put my dear Lou Reed so low on this list but that’s what the impeccable choices above do for me. Obviously the crucial lyrics here are, “You made me forget myself/I thought I was someone else/Someone good” and juxtaposed over Ed rowing alone and Stede returning to discomfort in a married state it’s just so much.

The Empty Boat: I actually LOVE this choice, the lyrics are so good for Ed’s expression and feelings in this scene, but it just doesn’t feature as strongly as the others.

Bonus shoutout to Il triello: Olivia, give him the old fuck eye!

Trailer interlude:

Because the Night: This choice made me absolutely deranged. Hearing this was when I was like oh they are going to fuck and I am somehow going to be seeing it in a few weeks on my screen. The night before the premiere I was so full of emotions that I took a drive and played this over and over again while screaming along to try to get some of them out.

The Beautiful Ones: My brain became an endless loop of Baby baby baby for a week with Stede’s words and the cake toppers overlaid.

Season 2:

This Woman’s Work: This is THE song of the season to me. We all wanted a reunion, we wrote something like 10,000 versions of it, I personally wrote something like 10 versions of it, and then the actual reunion was SO gorgeous and SO perfect and soundtracked by this and “all the things I should have said that I never said, all the things we should have done that we never did” and that piano and the build and and and I will never recover.

Pygmy Love Song AND Seabird: I put these two as one because they’re the crux of Ed’s journey in this season and they work so well together thematically. First, the Impossible Birds - imagine hearing that there’s a piece of media about Blackbeard, infamous pirate, where one of his lines of dialogue is, “We’re never going back to land. We’re gonna sail, rob, raise hell, forever and ever without end” and instead of these words being delivered as a tough war cry they’re instead spoken in utter grief in a voice made nasal from tears. Taika’s delivery is so good it makes me want to eat through a brick wall (and all shout outs forever to Joel Fry for playing off him in this scene and several others). Playing in the background, its music lilting and warbling just as much as Ed’s voice? “My heart, my heart is full of love, I have nothing else.” So then a bunch of stuff happens (see the aforementioned reunion above) and we’re in episode 4 and Ed sees Buttons turn into an actual Impossible Bird, choosing to transform himself for love, and as Ed says “Fuck yeah brother, fly,” his face shining with revelation, we get, “There’s a road I know I must go/even though I tell myself that road is closed/like a lonely seabird/you’ve been away from land too long” MAGGIE PHILLIPS YOUR MIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Run From Me: I was already a big Timber Timbre fan so when I read that one of their songs was in the show, I got very excited, and this did not disappoint. Its use to bookend this episode was incredible - the jilted wedding theme and the slow beginning of the song at the beginning as Ed is clearly in such a low place contrasted with the faster end of the song at the end of the episode as Ed enters this manic state during the storm - double Maggie Phillips your mind!!!

Strawberry Letter 23: The opening chords of this starting right after Ed introduces himself as the devil - just perfection. Ed’s sending 88 letters in his own way.

Road to Moscow: This one feels like a real “I just heard it last night and if anything happened to it I would kill everyone and myself” situation. Fascinating use here because the song is about a Russian soldier witnessing the ultimately-failed German invasion of Russia in WWII - a notoriously bloody campaign with massive losses on both sides, which is of course what happens to our crew and the soldiers they encounter as well. This line gave me chills in the context of the crew fighting through the trees: “Ah, softly we move through the shadows, slip away through the trees/Crossing their lines in the mists in the fields on our hands and on our knees/And all that I ever was able to see/The fire in the air glowing red, silhouetting the smoke on the breeze”.

I Love My Baby: Perfect double use. Also further wedding foreshadowing: “Just say you love me

And we'll go to the preacherman/Just say you love me/And before him we'll stand/We'll live our lives together/As we go hand in hand.”

Baby: Can’t believe this is so low but the other ones were all so good!!

The Times They Are A-Changing: Great use, loved that they used the Nina Simone version, it’s just not as significant to me as the others.

Callback Gnossienne No. 5: this playing while Stede’s looking through the cabin in episode 3 made me want to lay down in the road.

#ofmd 2 #ofmd music

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mischiefandmedicine · 2 months

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Very Full - Interlude: Far from Heaven

Summary: Loki contemplates how he should keep telling his story.

Word Count: 1,425 words.

Chapter Warnings: None that I can think of.

Soundtrack Link

This Chapter's Music Inspiration:

Far from Heaven by Evanescence

Very Full MASTERLIST

Previous Chapter

A/N: As per usual, I just want to say that I do not own the rights to the lyrics. I did, however, imagine that Melara wrote this song, because the lyrics fit so perfectly into hers and Loki's story.

Let me know if you would like to be added to the taglist!

From his vantage point at the end of time, where the very fabric of the universe seemed to converge into an intricate tapestry of fate and chance, Loki, once known for his mischief and cunning, found himself caught in a moment of profound introspection as he considered what to tell his daughter. He sat, the echoes of a timeless chamber resonating with the murmurs of infinite realms and the timelines cocooning him and Saoirse, each whispering a reminder of the paths he had trodden, and the ones yet taken.

Before him, shimmering like a mirage, Saoirse’s face seemingly frozen as she waited expectantly for Loki to continue. Her eyes, so reminiscent of Melara’s, held the fierce determination and the nearly imperceptible vulnerability that defined her mother. His daughter’s request was so simple yet seismic – “Tell me everything.” – that it gave him pause, internally recalling one of Melara’s songs from the dark years. The years in which he was forced to stay away.

Give me a reason, Make me whole again. Wounds should become scars, But I’m cracked instead. Can’t risk believing, That I would stand a chance. Frozen in the doorway, don’t wanna leave the past. One more night, What I wouldn’t give to be with you for one more night…

He would have died for this young woman, his daughter, if she had asked him to sacrifice himself. To prove his loyalty and his love. But could he really tell her everything? The time with the love of his life was too short…too precious. It was time that helped him to see the inherent value of mortal life. How could he tell Saoirse everything if it would give away the secrets shared between lovers? And the song played on in his head.

What if I can’t see your light anymore? ‘Cause I’ve spent too long in the dark. And I’m on my knees without shame begging to believe. But I feel so far from heaven.

As the silence stretched between the father and daughter, Loki’s mind wandered back to the night he had first encountered Melara. It was not mere chance, but a call of fate that had drawn him to her. Amidst the chaos of the cosmos, her voice had pierced through the cacophony of dreams as he slumbered on the throne. Her voice had been both a beacon and a sweet, calming lullaby that seemed to lure him inexorably towards her.

Melara had been different – not merely in power or spirit but in the very essence that composed her being. She radiated a kind of raw, unfiltered vivacity that was both intoxicating and daunting. From the moment he laid eyes on her, he had sensed that she was meant to teach him something profound, something about the nature of connection or perhaps the elusive truth of love. However, the depth of their entwining stories was something he had not been prepared for. The loneliness without her at his side broke him as he could hear her sing about their love from the ever-growing timeline that housed her essence. She would sing the words of his own heart as if she could hear his thoughts across the universe.

Wake up to a new day, Break my heart again. Dreaming makes for sweet escape but I can’t forget. I’m back at the edge now, I never needed you more. Staring down the emptiness that I can’t ignore. All my life didn’t wanna dream I could lose you. But you just smiled. What if I can’t see your light anymore? ‘Cause I spent to long in the dark. And I’m on my knees without shame begging to believe. But I feel so far from heaven.

He offered a silent prayer of thanks to the Norns for intertwining his path with such a remarkable soul, even if the pain was heartbreakingly unbearable at times. Her dreams, it seemed, held glimpses of a future, a prelude to a rich life with the enigma and might that rivaled his own aspirations. The nightmares she suffered, foretold the abrupt end of their story and she often pushed him away. Perhaps she thought she was saving Loki from her mortality. Even so, it did not stop him from pursuing Melara. She was a woman whose mystique was woven with threads of superior potency, enchanting him with the possibilities of what they might become, no matter how long it lasted.

Is anyone out there? Did you give up on us? Break this silence, I’m crushed under love. I don’t wanna lock down, but we’ve lost so much. Will you forgive me if I can’t see your light anymore? ‘Cause I’ve spent too long in the dark. And I’m on my knees without shame begging to believe, But I feel so far from heaven.

As he reflected on their journey together – from the exhilarating highs of passion to the devastating lows of angst and loss – Loki realized that each precious moment with Melara had reshaped him. She had opened doors to parts of his soul that he had long since barricaded, challenging his notions of who he could be beyond the labels of trickster and deity.

Losing himself even further, Loki found himself and his thoughts adrift, pulled back through the tides of time to the golden halls of Asgard – long before all of this – where his parents, Odin and Frigga, once sat in judgment and wisdom. He pondered, with a mind burdened by the complexities of his existence, whether they would have seen Melara, this mortal woman from another realm, with eyes of approval. Would they have gazed upon their granddaughter, Ssaoirse, being born of interwoven destinies, with the same warmth they offered him, despite his being the frost giant among Aesir?

Under the quiet cloak of the stars that hung over the secluded perch at time’s end, he mused over Frigga’s kindness, her gift for seeing the good hidden within. She, who had taught him the subtleties of seidr and the value of understanding, might have seen Melara’s dreams – a connection to the future, a profound gift – mirroring her own mastery. Perhaps Frigga would have embraced Melara, guiding her, nurturing the raw, untapped potential that Loki had found so captivating.

And Odin, Allfather, whose vision often pierced through the veils of realms and hearts, might he have recognized the thread of fate that bound Loki to Melara as something inevitable? Or would he have eyed it with the suspicion of a strategist, wary of any entanglement that might sway his adopted son from the path of a god’s grand designs? Perhaps the old man would have softened once he had seen the product of their unlikely union and welcomed his granddaughter with open arms, offering her a place at his side? Would his union with Melara, so untraditional and untamed, have been a source of contention, a deviation from Asgard’s regal lineage? Or in the forging of Saoirse – a new link in the chains of legacy – might they have seen an opportunity for redemption, a chance to mend the old rifts and write a new story for the House of Odin?

Loki imagined that the story he and Melara shared was not just about the love they shared, but also about the lessons wrought from their union. Each encounter with her had peeled back another layer of his complex persona, revealing vulnerabilities that he had dared not acknowledge. Melara had seen through the façade that Loki had presented to the world. She knew of the Loki who had taken New York and still had inexplicably and unconditionally fallen in love with him. A love that transcended the distances between them.

With a sigh that seemed to echo through the ages, Loki decided that honesty, no matter how painful, was the only gift worthy of his daughter. He would offer her the story of that would show their connection, fraught with challenges and imbued with magic. The tale itself had ultimately sprung a legacy of strength and resilience. The words he would choose must be careful, crafted with the same care with which he once weaved illusions, but this time, they would be constructs of truth, designed to build rather than beguile. As he prepared to speak, the shadows of the chamber seemed to pause to listen, the very air poised for the revelations of a god who had loved a mortal and changed the fabric of time itself.

And so, with the universe as witness, Loki drew in a deep breath while Saoirse stared wide-eyed waiting for him to speak.

----

Taglist: @mischiefandmedicine

#loki masterlist #loki fanfiction #loki fanfic #loki imagine #loki laufeyson fanfic #loki laufeyson #loki odinson #loki marvel #loki #loki series #loki x reader #tva loki

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artsyunderstudy · 1 year

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WIP Tag Game : Bury Your Love?? 👀👀👀

So this is another old, old idea that I was actually actively writing for a bit. The general premise was that Simon ends up breaking things off with Baz at the Leaver's Ball, saying some pretty hurtful shit because he's unable to stomach Baz's tenderness and all his own trauma about everything he's just lost.

The story picks up years later. They run into each other at a bar, Baz is closed off an bitter, content to pretend like their romantic interlude didn't happen. All the walls are up. Simon's ready to take whatever of Baz he can have, though, so they end up in a physical relationship that's really lacking in that tenderness, very rough for lack of a better word. It would have followed them through a series of meetings where they have to get through their shit, and Simon has to genuinely work to get that trust back, that'll allow Baz to soften to him again.

The idea basically bloomed from this scene (NSFW) where Simon and Baz are having sex, and Baz is essentially allowing himself to be hurt/move too fast because he's trying so hard to make it not mean anything, and Simon realizes this and just, stops it cold. The title refers to the idea of Baz, in his hurt, burying his love for Simon.

I'll be honest, this fic is most likely never going to see the light of day. It's real angsty, and I sort of lost motivation for it. Everything I wrote I'd probably scrap and start all over if I ever thought to start it again. But here, have a big excerpt from the Leaver's Ball. Simon is Freaking Out.

I never really believed that I belonged here. It always seemed way too good to be true, like a dream I’d eventually wake up from. But Merlin, did I want it. It was a part of me. It is a part of me. This place is mine the way nothing else in my life has ever been mine. The first place I was ever really seen. I was given purpose here, and power. I had magick. I was made of it. Now?

I shut my eyes, nails digging into my palms.

Christ, I need to find Baz. I told myself I’d do this for him. It’s his Leaver’s Ball, and he shouldn’t leave this place without me. I don’t know what he expected from me, or from us, but it can’t have looked much like the last few months. I did tell him I’d be a terrible boyfriend, and I thought—I’d hoped—that I could prove myself wrong in the end. I need to do this. He’s been so good. Infuriatingly, unbelievably good. It’s me who’s been a proper mess.

I shake my head and start forward. At least three people have walked past me already. My tail caught one of them in the ankle and they nearly ended up on the ground.

There are fairy lights (the Normal kind) strung up all around the courtyard, the light soft and flickering. Circular tables surround a large spread of food. I don’t see sandwiches, I thought there’d be sandwiches. There’s already so many people dancing. Will Baz want to dance? I bet he’s good at that, too. Thinking about his hands on me makes my stomach twist into knots.

I look around the crowd for him, I’m in the thick of it now. Everybody’s looking at me, but also not looking. Merlin, it’s completely fucked the way their gazes keep sliding over me, like oil over water. Like there’s nothing left of me that sticks.

It’s just jarring is what it is. Like I’m the hole now.

@theearlgreymage

#ask game #snowbaz fanfic #sorry its so long

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kemendin · 2 years

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A Relaxing Interlude

"Between dealing with the war against the Republic, and the rather manic aspirations of Darth Baras, Khel had hardly gotten a moment alone with his captain, and consequently very little had actually changed between them. They were still far more Sith Lord and servant than they were two men in love.

"The Mirialan naturally enjoyed their relationship as it was - as he knew Quinn did - but he was aching to expand on it. Now, at last, there was some time to breathe, and he intended to take full advantage."

Lord Khel Sutek finally gets Malavai Quinn alone in their ship for some long-awaited physical affection. Takes place after the class story.

Malavai Quinn x Light Side Sith Warrior Rating: Explicit Words: 7000

Well, here we are, finally did it. First time writing smexytimes! This is coming rather quickly on the heels of my last fic update, and I banged (haha) it out in like three days, so it's a less polished thing that I wrote just for my own amusement. I wasn't sure about posting, but I had such a blast actually writing this, that I figured some folks on here might enjoy it as well.

Read on AO3 (short excerpt below cut)

Khel hid another faint laugh behind his hand. He shook his head. “Quinn, this isn’t a tactical exercise. We aren’t practising combat maneouvres. We’re supposed to enjoy each other’s company.”

Quinn raised his chin. “For me, those two aren’t mutually exclusive,” he pointed out archly, and Khel rolled his eyes.

“Yes, yes, alright. But you know exactly what I mean. Now come on.” The Sith spread a hand invitingly. “What do you like to do? What excites you?”

Another broad flush assaulted Quinn’s features, and an indistinct noise left him as he rubbed awkwardly at his face.

“I can’t believe we’re having this conversation,” he said faintly. “My lord, I don’t - I haven’t - “ He took a deep breath before going on, “There weren’t many opportunities, on Balmorra, for those sorts of…. liaisons. I did… that is, I… I took care of myself, if the need arose, but aside from that… I haven’t given it a great deal of thought, for some time now.”

Khel managed not to laugh this time, pulling his own features back into something closer to neutrality. “I assumed it had been a while,” he said clinically. “Fair enough. But you must have some thoughts on the subject.”

Malavai glanced up again, still quite pink-faced, and Khel had to resist the urge to step over again and see how fast he could make pink become flaming red.

“Well, in answer to your second question… all I can say for certain is that - you excite me, my lord. Desperately.” Quinn shifted his weight again, and for all his factual words, Khel could sense how even saying this was stirring something in the other man.

The Mirialan stroked thoughtfully at his chin. “Flatterer,” he accused, with a smirk in his voice. “Hmmm, alright. In that case, why don’t I start? And you can just stand there for now and… be excited.” The last words came out low, enticing. Quinn’s eyes widened a bit.

“I - very well, my lord, I’ll follow your lead.”

“And you do it so well,” murmured Khel silkily, as he stepped back so that Quinn could have the full view of him.

Khel took his time undressing; he wanted to make a show of it, make sure Malavai could see every deliberate, fluid motion as the Sith disrobed. He unfastened his belt and let it slide along his hips before setting it aside, then eased his tunic off over his head - slowly, so that Quinn could appreciate every centimetre of golden skin that was revealed. It was nothing the other man hadn’t seen before, of course - but presentation made all the difference. A low laugh murmured in Khel’s throat as he glanced over and saw that Quinn’s eyes were still wide, and his chest was taut with a breath he hadn’t noticed he was holding.

“How are you doing there, Quinn? Are you feeling excited yet?”

#swtor #swtor fanfiction #swtor fanfic #malavai quinn #sith warrior #swtor oc #swtor sith warrior #star wars the old republic #swtor romance #swtor:khel #my oc #kem writes #kem fics #trying to post this ONE MORE TIME to see if tags will work #otherwise i'll give it a couple days and try again i guess #otp: servants of the empire

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ultramagicalternate · 17 days

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ULTRAMagic Interlude (BC) Chapter 23

Previous | First | Next

Master Post

“Vex is too nice…” Ekaterina remarked as she flipped through the pages of his grimoire.

“Too nice? Not nice enough? Does it really matter how nice someone is as long as they’re nice?” Vlastimir asked in response as he wrote something down. The two had retired to their quarters for the day, not really sure what to do. The room that had been set aside for them was quite the living space. It had the typical decor found in The Singing Storm Tower and a nice view of the city.

“Well yes, I’d imagine. It’s a good way to spoil someone…”

“Hum, I suppose you’re right. I’m not sure if I’d know given how crazy my childhood was.”

Ekaterina temporarily closed her book. “What are you working on?”

“Oh, just some notes, collecting my thoughts and reflecting on my adventures in The Unlight.”

“So you are getting ready for your parents' arrival?”

He sighed. “Yeah, I guess so. What else have I got to do?” Vlastimir flipped through his notes and had a realization. “Looking back on it, I think my family is cursed…”

“What makes you say that?” Ekaterina wondered as she took a seat at the desk.

Vlastimir exhaled. “Well, we’ll have to start from what I consider to be the beginning, my grandfather… Vlad III Dracula. And that isn’t someone pretending to be him, that actually is Vlad the Impaler.”

It took Ekaterina a second to process that fact. “Wait, really? Then how did you…?”

“Grandpa Vlad met a, um… Well I don’t know if you’ll believe me if I told you.”

She raised an eyebrow. “It’s that ridiculous?”

“Yes… Are you willing to humor me?”

“Of course, go ahead.”

Vlastimir took a breath. “Grandpa met a fallen goddess from Atlantis…”

Ekaterina could not help laughing. “Wait, really? You realize that’s a myth, right?”

He knew this would happen. “Well, it isn’t, but I’ll let this go for the sake of conversation. Just know that grandma Fausta is a fallen goddess regardless of her origin…”

“Fair enough.”

“Ahem, grandpa Vlad met grandma at the end of his first life. He struck a deal with her of some kind that granted him immortality. All he had to do was consume virgin blood every 100 years. Ideally he’s supposed to obtain this from multiple people, in good health preferably.”

“Hold up, does this mean you’re a vampire?”

“No… I can’t say the same about my father, but no. Grandpa doesn’t need blood to live, he just needs it for the ritual.”

“Oh, I see. Continue…”

“We’ll actually get to my dad in a minute, but getting back on track: Come the end of the 19th century, grandpa got himself into trouble, having been sealed away by a team led by Abraham Van Helsing…”

“Wait again! My apologies, but Van Helsing? Like, Bram Stoker’s Dracula Van Helsing?”

Vlastimir nodded. “They never told you that it was based on real events? Hehe, well, based on being the key phrase here…”

Ekaterina nodded, albeit in slight disbelief. “Right… So how did your grandfather get out of all that?”

“World War II. The Germans destroyed the tree that created the barrier of his prison. Naturally grandpa Vlad did not take kindly to the Germans of the era and started sabotaging their plans. Eventually he learned grandma was stuck in Belgium and in great danger. He went and rescued her, took her back to Romania, and drove out most of the axis powers to keep her safe.”

“How sweet of him… despite his past… Although I have to ask: how does he live with his past? I’m sure there’s things I did not learn, but that doesn’t change the fact that he has quite the infamous reputation.”

Vlastimir thought about it for a second. “I don’t think he does. I vaguely remember my parents warning me that grandpa Vlad was prone to fits when I first met him. I still love him, but I wouldn’t want to be in his shoes. In hindsight, his obsession with starting and donating to charities makes a lot more sense now.”

“Wow. So what about your parents?”

“Ah, them. My father, Zoltan Tenebrae Raphael Dracul, had a fairly normal childhood. My mom? Oh boy, where do I even begin? She started life as a girl who was forcibly drafted into a coven of warlocks. They wanted to use her as a vessel for a dragon that they would turn over to the Germans for some dark, top secret knowledge.”

“Goodness! How’d she get out of that?”

Vlastimir took a quick sip of some water. “At the height of World War II, A secret operation was initiated by a group I think was called G.A.I.G., also known as the German Anomaly Investigation Group… I think. Anyways, a special operations team was sent in looking for this coven consisting of Americans and witches from The Devil’s Brew Coven. The ensuing chaos allowed mom to escape, with her becoming a wanderer for a bit. Eventually she made her way to Romania and tried to mug grandma. She was out for a walk with a very young dad…”

An inconsistency then occurred to Ekaterina. “Slow down, are you saying your mother is way older than your father?”

“Yes.”

“When were they born?”

“Mom was born in 1929 and dad was born in 1950…” Vlastimir noticed that Ekaterina was giving him the strangest look. “Oh no, don’t worry, it’s not what you think. I’m about to get that, but just know that mom and dad didn’t have true feelings for each other until he was well into adulthood.”

“Okay. So what happened next?”

“Grandma knocked the knife out of her hand with her powers. Young dad then went up to mom and apparently started bopping her on the leg…”

“Aw, that’s adorable.”

Vlastimir chuckled. “Yeah. Mom still remembers that to this day. So grandma then took pity on mom and got her off the streets. After learning some magic from her, mom set out on her own. Dad told me that this disappointed him as he had become good friends with mom by that point. Once dad was an adult, he sought out uncle Abraham and went on all sorts of adventures with him…”

“I take it Van Helsing is a friend of the family?”

“Oops, yeah, sorry. He’s not actually my uncle, he’s just really good friends with my dad. Anyways, dad eventually tracked down mom and proposed to her. The two married for a couple of reasons. One, dad was in love. Two, he wanted to keep her safe. And three, dad wanted to make sure mom didn’t get herself into trouble anymore…” Vlastimir paused, then burst out laughing. “Of course one shenanigan led to another and here I am!”

Ekaterina stroked her chin. “Incredible. Well, at least you have a family that legitimately cares for one another. Old Jedidiah Moore and Magdalena couldn’t give two shakes of rattlesnake’s tail about anything other than their stocks, profits, and black gold… jeez, no wonder The Lich picked me…”

“Hey, don’t beat yourself up over them. Just because your parents weren’t great doesn’t mean you can’t be great.”

Ekaterina extended a metal ribbon and began wobbling it. “I was supposed to be a villain. That’s what this power is for, is it not?”

“Yes, but look at where you are now. It’s your power, so make it the symbol of a hero…” Vlastimir stopped, then facepalmed. “Is that the best I could come up with? I sound so ridiculous…”

She laughed. “No, it’s alright. I just feel bad for what I did. You have to concede that wrapping Drago up like a mummy wasn’t exactly the most heroic behavior. And what after that? Vex was going to betray The Lich, so that begs the question of what he was going to do with me…”

“It sounds like he would’ve tried to recruit you, given his original plans for Blood-Wraith.”

That rang a bell in Ekaterina’s head. She then looked at the grimoire. “Huh, I suppose you’re right…”

“Just because you had an unfavorable childhood doesn’t make you a bad person. All you need to do is put one foot in front of the other and walk right out the door… and I’ll be right there, waiting for you!”

Ekaterina laughed, feeling warm on the inside this time. “Jeez, I fully expect you to burst out into song next. How did you come up with all of this?”

“I’ve had a long time to think about things, but part of it is because of my mentor, Gostislav. He imparted a lot of wisdom to me.”

“Then he did a good job…” Ekaterina reached over the desk and kissed Vlastimir. “Let’s go get something to eat. I’m hungry…”

“You know? My dad pulled that “hey hungry, I’m dad” stuff when I was young…”

She giggled. “Well to be fair, we always walk right into those ones.”

The dining hall was fairly busy, with people eating and some moving about. Englehart was there, slow to eat his food. He was a bit bummed out given that Dunja was away. Seeing Vlastimir and Ekaterina show up looking fairly happy caused him to perk up a bit, however. He invited them to his table, which also had Drazhan, Octavius, and Caius seated there. Naturally the four were curious about the grimoire and how the couple were doing. Feeling up to it, Vlastimir offered to tell them about his family, of which they listened with due attention. This ended up making them even more eager to meet his parents, much to Vlastimir’s chagrin.

Despite the things that had been discussed over the course of day, Vlastimir and Ekaterina fell asleep pretty quickly that night. Talking had eased their nerves a great deal. Both of them felt better the next morning and woke up with a spring in their step. They were even more eager to hang out with Kresimira and her friends. After washing up and eating their breakfast, the pair went straight to the Raynot mansion. Kresimira had decided that a gathering in her family’s gardens would be perfect for all of them.

Rose heard the doorbell ring and went to answer it. “Vlastimir, Ekaterina! Welcome, come on in.”

“Thank you, your grace,” Ekaterina replied. “We’re not too early, are we?”

“Kresimira is still out fetching the others, but it’s no bother. Now if you two had arrived before Radovan left to go see Blood-Wraith, well, I would’ve still been in my nightgown.”

Rose led both of them to the main garden. Several tables and sets of chairs were surrounded by rows of gorgeous flowers. There were roses, peonies, marigolds, zinnia’s, daisies, pansies, asters, geraniums, and many others that were not immediately recognizable. Happy bumblebees and butterflies went to the various flowers as birds chirped with vigor around the three. Ekaterina was awestruck by all of this. Vlastimir had noticed some rare plants from the Deep Unlight and complimented her grace on acquiring them.

The Duchess stuck with her guests until Kresimira showed up. She walked over to the three, looking like she had been rushing all over the place. “Oh my, the two of you are here already. Excellent.”

“Well given yesterday, we figured we should get things started as soon as possible” Vlastimir replied.

“Don’t worry about this time, I got everything settled. Everyone else should be here as soon as they get things squared away on their end.”

“Curiously, is Corentin going to be accompanying you today?” Rose inquired.

“Oh no, he’s all abuzz with the samples he was provided with yesterday. Can’t say I blame him. And mother, thank you for staying here with these two.”

“No problem, dear. If you need me, I’ll be inside, assuming I’m not called upon.”

Kresimira took a seat as Rose returned to the mansion. She could finally rest her feet, or so she thought. “So, how are you two doing?”

“Fine, fine,” Ekaterina answered. “Kresimira, you’re not mad about what I did to Drago, are you? You know, back in the…”

She held her hand up. “Eka, it’s in the past. No need to worry about it now.”

Vlastimir nodded in agreement. “Water under the bridge, as it were.”

“Precisely. Besides, Drago is a grown woman; she can take a hit or two. I trust that mother showed you around the garden?”

“Oh yes,” Ekaterina said as she looked around. “Was this all done by her?”

“No, me and Drago have helped out over the years. Even Papa has lent his hand here and there, but it’s been mostly mother and I. You can tell which gardens were planted by who.” Kresimira indicated a garden in the distance that was primarily roses.

Vlastimir chuckled. “I’m noticing an obsession with that flower…” This also made Ekaterina chuckle.

Kresimira tripped over her words. “Well of course roses would be an interest of mine. They are the flower of a true lady.”

He laughed. “Roses are certainly a beautiful flower. It’s why I picked it for one of my techniques… well actually multiple given the nature of thorns, but you get the idea.”

“Hey, Mira!” a voice called out.

“Oh, over here, Rowena! Welcome!

Walking up was a woman with messy red hair, freckles, and green eyes. She wore a beat up jacket and had what looked like a tool belt around her worn out pants. “So, we’re finally doing this little get together? She asked as she sat down.

Kresimira nodded. “Absolutely. Are Olga and Mariya still coming?”

“Definitely. They’re just taking care of some last minute stuff. Mariya has the most work to do given that Ironfire station is pretty active since a certain someone's parents are visiting soon…” She looked at Vlastimir.

He chuckled in response. “Yeah. I hope she’s not too swamped with work…”

“Honestly this is nothing compared to when Shadowland opens back up. I do not envy any of them at the station. Ekaterina, how are you doing?”

“Pretty good. Vex’s grimoire is pretty interesting. I’m also eager to meet Vlastimir’s parents.”

Rowena nodded. “Awesome. I have to say I’m glad you arrived when you did. Drago and Mira told me the city is utterly haunting as a ghost town…” A butterfly landed on her hand. She then held it up to her face. “Also this place being overgrown is mind blowing.”

“I would’ve tended to the gardens myself, but I don’t have the same fortitude as my mother,” Kresimira pointed out. She then glanced towards the mansion and noticed two women approaching them. “Oh good. Olga, Mariya! Over here” she called out.

Next: Chapter 24

Dracula © 1897 Bram Stoker

#chaotictempleknight #ultramagic alternate #fantasy #sciencefiction #sciencefictionfantasy #literature #fiction #writing #story #chapter #writers on tumblr

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cankersoregirl · 1 year

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heya lovely, could you please tell me favourite paramore (or not?) lyrics and your biggest blorbo(s) hahah also fave colours or palettes?

First of all tysm for giving me a chance to talk abt paramore bc they r my fav band. Second of all I’m sorry if u wanted something short cuz I’m abt to write SO much. Like SOOOO much. so um. be warned..

Since paramore is a very lyric heavy band (the lyrics are v important!) I’m gonna put my answers under the read more hehehe

I’m gonna go from album chronological order so here we go:

1. Never let this go

Maybe if my heart stops beating / it won’t hurt this much … One day you’ll get sick of / saying that everything’s all right / and by then I’m sure I’ll be pretending / just like I am tonight

all we know is falling is an emo ass album. I love her. This song hurts me.

2. When it rains

You made yourself a bed / at the bottom of the blackest hole and you’ll sleep till May and you’ll say / that you don’t want to see the sun anymore

Just the way it’s written breaks my heart again. Happens w a lot of pmore songs

3. Careful

I had it all / but not what I wanted / cause hope for me / was a place uncharted / and overgrown … You can’t tell me to heal / and it hurts remembering / how it felt to shut down

The first set of lyrics was my bio on Instagram when I was in middle school lmao… the first of a few pmore lyrics I’ve done that to

4. Ignorance

Where’s your gavel? / Your jury? / What’s my offense this time? / You’re not a judge but if you’re gonna judge me / well sentence me to another life

I just love whenever they play with words like this!! It’s also a super angry song. Very typical for brand new eyes the band was angry as hell at each other in the bne era lol

5. Playing god

It’s just my humble opinion / but it’s one that I believe in / you don’t deserve a point of view / if the only thing you see is you

LIFE CHANGING LYRIC FOR ME. ONE OF MY ULTIMATE FAVS. It’s something I still live by to this day. And ofc it was also my middle school ig bio at one point

6. Turn it off

And the worst part is / before it gets / any better we’re / headed for a cliff / and in the free fall I will realize / I’m better off when I hit the bottom

There’s a common theme in paramore songs about wanting to get to rock bottom. Hayley’s written these lyrics to reflect how once you get to rock bottom, there’s nowhere you can go but up

7. Grow up

I got a love DOG I would die for

Literally just love this because it’s about Alf (Hayley’s dog). The original lyrics say love but she’s since got a divorce to who she was referring to (AND FUCK CHAD!) so she changes the lyrics when she sings it live :)

8. Interlude: moving on

Let ‘em spill their guts / cause one day they’re gonna slip on ‘em

More silly lyrics I just think are funny visually

9. Last hope

It’s just a spark but it’s enough to keep me going / and when it’s dark out, no one’s around it keeps glowing

A song for when you have nothing left but a tiny bit of hope and the power of clinging to it. Means a lot to me.

10. Anklebiters

What, do you actually expect / a broken mirror to reflect? / You know ANKLEBITERS! / gave you a false perception

This song is sooo fun to sing! It’s about not caring about judgment from other people and I think these lyrics in particular are fun. So are the ones right after if you have a friend to do both parts lol

11. Proof

Baby, if I’m half the man I say I am / if I’m a woman with no fear just like I claim I am / then I’ll believe in what you say / there’s nothing left for you to do / the only proof that I need is you

I love the first part mainly. Just the silly gender moment hehe

12. Hate to see your heart break

For all the air that’s in your lungs / for all the joy that is to come / for all the things that you’re alive to feel / just let the pain remind you hearts can heal / oh how were you to know?

Hayley wrote this song about Taylor :') paramore background info: Taylor York is the guitarist in paramore and he’s a VERY important piece of the band. Hayley and Taylor have been friends since teenagers and are now in a relationship which I think makes this song even more special. It’s also just a sweet thing to listen to, even if you didn’t know who it was about

13. (One of those) crazy girls

Now I walk under a pink sky / love has flown along and passed me by / I pour my heart out to your voicemail / let you know I caught a bus to your side of town / and now I'm standing at your doorstep / with Los Angeles behind me / if you don't answer I’ll just use the key that I copied / cause I really need to see you / if you’re not here when I break in / I’m gonna go to your closet / just so I can smell your skin / as the chemicals swim / I know I’ll never love again / I swear I’ll never love again

ONE OF PARAMORE’S BEST FUCKING SONGS EVERRRR OMFG. THE DESPERATION. THE CRAZY GIRL-NESS!!! God. I love this part especially. The way it tells a story… paramore hall of fame. (Also I made a vegaspete edit to this part once lmfao)

14. Future

I’m writing the future / I’m writing it out loud / we don’t talk about the past / we don’t talk about the past now / so I’m writing the future I’m leaving a key here / something won’t always be missing / it won’t always feel emptier / just think of the future / and think of your dreams / you’ll get away from here / you’ll get away eventually / so just think of the future / think of a new life / don’t get lost in the memories / keep your eyes on a new prize

This is actually the whole song. Future is almost 8 minutes long and mostly instrumental. It’s a very powerful closer to the self titled album. I really wanna see it live one day before I die.

15. Rose colored boy

I want you to stop insisting that I’m not / a lost cause / cause I’ve been through a lot / really all I’ve got is just to stay pissed off / if it’s all right by you

Such a fantastic pessimistic song. Sometimes u just need to be angry and upset at where life’s taken you

16. Forgiveness

You hurt me bad this time / no coming back / and I cried till I couldn’t cry / another heart attack / if I lay on the floor / maybe I’ll wake up / and I don’t pick up when you call / cause your voice is a gun / every word is a bullet hole/ shot a hole in the sun / if I never look up, maybe I’ll never notice … and you, you want forgiveness (I can barely hang on to myself) / but I, I can’t give you that (I can’t give you, I can’t give you that) / and you, you want forgiveness (I’m afraid that I have nothing left) / but I, I just can’t do it yet (I can’t do, I just can’t do it yet)

God. Where do I even fucking begin. One of my favorite paramore songs ever. It wasn’t at first but then I stopped being so forgiving and this song hit a lot harder. It’s about giving someone a second chance and them failing and not being able to forgive anymore. It’s about still having to be connected to that person. It’s about the hurt that leaves you with. In the live version Hayley changes the second line of the bridge “don’t you go and get it twisted” to “I came so close to believing” which reflects the lyrics from the only exception “and I’m on my way to believing”. Both songs were about her ex husband (FUCK YOU CHAD!!!!!!!). He’s a piece of shit. He’s hurt her repeatedly. In my own form I find it very relatable. It’s very beautiful to listen to as well

17. Fake happy

I know I said that I was doing good and that I’m happy now / I should’ve known when things were going good / that’s when I’d get knocked down … oh please, just don't ask me how I’ve been / don’t make me play pretend / Oh no, oh what’s the use? / Oh please, I bet everybody here is fake happy too

If u aren’t sobbing by the bridge and the final chorus u probably weren’t listening closely. Fake happy was one of my first favorites on after laughter. I knew it on harp once but I forgot it now rip

18. 26

Reality will break your heart / survival will not be the hardest part / it’s keeping all your hopes alive / when all the rest of you has died / so let it break your heart

One of the slower, sadder songs from after laughter. This is my fav album if u couldn’t tell and I’m not even done going thru my fav lyrics from it lmao. Real heartbreaking shit

19. Caught in the middle

I can’t think of getting old / it only makes me want to die / and I can’t think of who I was / cause it just makes me want to cry, cry, cry

Hell of a way to open a song. I remember Hayley saying she struggled finding the right words for this because there’s so much she wanted to say but man. She totally got the message across. Perfect song about having a crisis about fear of the future & pain of remembering the past

20. No friend

ALL OF IT.

the song is an outro to idle worship (another fucking awesome song btw) and it’s spoken/sung by Aaron Weiss from the band mewithoutYou. It is a mix of a devastating letter Hayley wrote of how she was struggling at that time and full of references to past lyrics the band wrote. Referencing past paramore songs: “another song that runs too long” (future, 8min long song) “God knows no one needs” (looking up, “god knows the world doesn’t need another band”) “more misguided ghosts” (the song misguided ghosts) “and we'll do our Riot! dance” (their sophomore album Riot!). From the letter: “I see myself in the reflection of people’s eyes / realizing that what they see may not even be close to the image I see in myself / and I think I might actually be more afraid / to let my own self down than anything else.” It’s really quiet so the first time I heard it via a leak (lol) I thought the song was wrong (also lol). But when you actually look closely you’ll see how FULL of references and reflections it is. A masterpiece.

21. Tell me how

I can’t call you a stranger / but I can’t call you

Another painful way to open a song. It’s about a broken friendship and not knowing what to feel or do about what’s left. In paramore specifics, this is about the past member Jeremy (but also fuck him lmao)

22. Running out of time

THERE WAS A FIRE! (metaphorically) / BE THERE IN FIVE! (hyperbolically)

This song is fucking hilarious. It’s just about being late to everything. Hayley described it as roasting herself and it’s fantastic. I love the way she sings this part hehe

23. C’est comme ça

In a single year, I’ve aged one hundred / my social life, a chiropractic appointment … I know that regression is rarely rewarded / I still need a certain degree of disorder / I hate to admit getting better is boring / But the high cost of chaos, who can afford it?

Getting better fucking sucks. It’s boring. That’s exactly what this song is about! Also I can’t help but think the French title is Zac’s influence lmao

24. Big man, little dignity

I keep thinking / this time the end’ll be different / but it isn’t / I keep thinking / the end is gonna be different but you keep on winning

This song is about putting your faith into the same type of person, straight cis white men, and noticing a pattern of how they repeatedly fail you and how much it can hurt

25. You first

Everyone is a bad guy / and there’s no way, no way to know / who’s the worst / karma’s gonna come for all of us / and I hope well I hope, I just hope / she comes, comes for you first, oh!

SUCH a petty song I love it

26. Liar

And why should I deny what’s all at once so crystal clear? … Love is not an easy thing to admit / but I’m not ashamed of it / love is not a weakening if you feel it rushing in / don’t be ashamed of it

Oh my god. When I tell you how I freaked out, teared up, screamed, and everything when I heard this for the first time??? Hayley makes a reference to the song/lyrics “crystal clear” from her solo album petals for armor. Both liar & crystal clear are about her falling in love with Taylor. I love them both so much and I’m only hoping the best for their relationship (which I still can’t believe is rlly true sometimes lol). Currently on tour they’re performing liar and then crystal clear consecutively and I’m so ready to just fall apart when they do that at my concert. The bridge also resonates a lot with me as a queer person. And of course it’s a fantastic ship song sjskdj

27. Crave

I romanticize even the worst of times / when all it took to make me cry was being alive … Just for a second it all felt simple / I’m already missing it / So I crave, crave to do it again, all again

FUCK!!! A song I never thought would exist but perfectly captures reminiscing on the present while struggling to actually be in the present and wanting to live the good moments all again… this is currently my most listened to song from their most recent album and I’m pretty sure it’s gonna be my top song of the year

28. Thick skull

Hit over the head / epiphany / over my head / repeatedly / thick skull never did / nothing for me / same lesson again / come on give it to me / give it to me, give it to me, give it to me

Another play on words. Being hit over the head with this “lesson” but also the same “lesson” going over your head just for you to go through it again. Powerful closer for the album.

OKAY. WE MADE IT. these are (almost) all my favorite paramore lyrics. Yeah I’m saying (almost) cuz I could’ve listed more honestly… there isn’t a paramore lyric that I don’t love. I’m sure this is more than u bargained for but I’m on a roll so I didn’t rlly hold back lmao. Also special shoutout cuz if I could’ve included stuff from Hayley’s solo albums I would’ve absolutely included lyrics from: simmer, leave it alone, dead horse, pure love, watch me while I bloom, crystal clear, no use I just do, find me here, and.. more…. LOL

AS FOR BLORBOS! I promise I won’t be as long fnmsjdjd

1. Qi Rong: from tian guan ci fu! He’s my fav character from the whole series and SUCH a slimy guy. If u hate him I hate u y’know. He’s an annoying cannibal who is a very loving father to his …adopted.. son… hehe

2. Shi Qingxuan: my other fav from tgcf :) (tbh I love quite a few tgcf characters..) she’s the type of blorbo I wanna have a sleepover with so bad.

3. Lan Wangji: we know him! We love him! My ultimate blorbo from mdzs!!! He is literally me.

4. Vegas: literally just last night I remembered his entire character and freaked out bc again.. he is literally me…. (that’s like how I decide most of my blorbos lmfao)

5. David from druck! A little bit of a throwback but he’s one of the most special characters to me ever. And I’m extremely grateful as he’s amazing pan representation!!

6. Literally the main four from bad buddy… I CANT CHOOSE ONE. I want to be bffs/be like every one of them lol

7. Noh Shinwoo: I will defend him with my life. Being team shinwoo while watching light on me live has left me with battle scars they really kept us on edge until the end lmfao

8. Sean (not me): I’m still in a not me mood after finishing my rewatch but aahhh he’s so blorbo…. never done anything wrong in his life

9. MENG SHAO FEI!!! Now THAT’S a bitch who fits the blorbo definition. He is so silly <3

10. hira from utsukare: NEW ENTRY!!! We are scarily alike…

Finally, my favorite color is red/burgundy!!! I think I tend to like warmer palettes and ofc ones that have some red in it hehe

If u actually read through this whole thing. Wow. I’m impressed. I lowkey literally wrote u an essay. But thank u sm & ily for asking & giving me a chance 2 talk abt my fav band (& blorbos) bc I had fun writing this the whole time !! :D

#SO sorry this took forever for me to do I meant to do it way earlier but stuff happened ejsdjsj #BUT I WROTE SO MUCH AAAAHHHDJSBDH LOLL #also fun fact I’m wearing a pmore shirt rn. but also pmore shirts are half my wardrobe ..#ask #b.txt #paramore

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deanwasalwaysbi · 3 years

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I've gotta say, I find the concept of Bedlund trying to Ben-Hur Jensen absolutely hysterical. I'm just imagining Jensen getting a script and being like "Ben?? What's this? Is this gay? This seems gay????" and Ben just soothing him like a frightened horse.

Hahaha - Look it wouldn't be the first time. What is this verb we're working with? Okay. Strap in everyone. The Multi-Oscar-winning 1959 movie 'Ben Hur' had a bunch of gay subtext. The writer, the director, and the second lead actor all knew that Charlton Heston's character, Ben Hur, was gay. However, one person didn't find out until the 1990s: Charlton Heston. The consensus on set was "Don’t tell Charlton, because he’ll freak out." and when Heston found out in the ninties, freak out was exactly what he did. (x) [the movie may have gotten a reference from Misha back in season 6 (x)]

Whether this happened with Jensen on SPN depends on two things.

Was the character of Dean intentionally written as Bi and, if so, at what point did that become true?

Did anyone tell Jensen? Did he figure it out? if so, when?

I personally DO believe at this point, I really do, that Bedlund - Ben Hur'd Jensen. I think it was part of the writers room but not all of it, until it was. (Which RN I believe finally happened under Dabb.) I think Jensen wasn't in on it, until he was. So for me? I think he really was in the dark at one point. But at what point that changed? Probably only he can answer that question. and RN? He ain't talking.

In the meantime we can only look at things Jensen has said on the subject - Like this unbearably ambiguous GIF set from @nikadd. Was this tongue in cheek? Legitimate ignorance? You're killing me, Jensen. That cheeky lil smile, Jensen. Nvm - I'm going to kill you instead. It's for my own survival. No hard feelings right? You understand.

UH OH HERE COMES A CUT TO HIDE A LONG DERANGED POST...

We can look at the text for number 1 - and I do that uh - a lot - see the blog name #Dean Was Always Bi

For number 2 we can look over some points when we got clues from what Jensen thought was going on [regardless of whether they make sense based on his jacting or directorial choices I guess] and get left wondering whether at any point he felt pressured to lie for his career, for self protection, or to protect the narrative from the network:

2010 - 'We're missing the gay angel' (x) (Season 5 gag reel) (x) “Sorry man, not what the show’s about.” Jared: One of the good and bads about playing the straight [non-comedic] character on the show… Jensen: What wait? I’ve been playing him so wrong

2012 / S8 - Trenchcoat - Jensen talking about how sometimes they change the lines because they're way too gay. Calls Cas a third brother

2012 - "What's Destiel?" Ben Edlund: That’s some weird shit. Jensen: Is this something that you created, Ben? Ben: You don’t want any part of that.

“Don’t ruin it for everyone now” “I still don’t know what the question was. I’m going to pretend I don’t know what the question was.”

2013 @ JIB, re Dean’s reaction to Aaron’s flirting in the season 8 episode Everybody Hates Hitler, (x)

“And the scene wasn’t written to be that kind of - I mean - It was written to be awkward. Ben Edlund wrote the - my favorite line in that scene was ‘carry on . citizen’ that was - I almost couldn’t say that with a straight face I was laughing so hard. But it was - you know - it was comedy. It was a comedic moment in the show and fortunately Dean gets a lot of the comedic moments in the show and it was just, you know, Ben was poking fun at the fact that - you know, how can we make this very kind of manly, heterosexual guy uncomfortable - uh -you know, or or have him back on his heels and throw him off his game a little bit.”

The thing is - Bedlund and Phil Sgriccia made very clear on the commentary track that THEY saw this scene as a 'romantic comedy kind of fluster' "This potential for love in all places."

Ben Edlund calling the writer’s room a boy’s club in 2013 (x)

Misha Collins telling Destiel fans they aren’t Crazy in 2013 after some executives said they were (x).

2014 Jensen says he was glad there wasn’t much Dean and Cas in season 9 - HA Hah HAH (x)

“I think the whole Cas and Dean thing has gotten out of hand” “I don’t think there’s anything secret to their relationship even though a lot of people wish there was” REMINDER - that season we got the nightstands acknowledgement and “play him like a jilted lover” and the “he dumped me James” cut and -

I certainly know that Misha and I don’t play that. SIGH. they Ben Hur'd Jensen.

2014 - the fan fiction joke - 10.05

“I didn’t have a positive reaction, The first time in I think 200 scripts I went and sat down in the showrunners office and said, ‘What in god’s name are you doing?! Why? I need to understand why this is happening.’” “[Carver] gave very eloquent answers and did a great job of explaining why we were doing what we were doing, I guess I had been aware of this ‘fan fiction’ for a while and I felt like maybe if I ignored it, it would eventually go away. When I read it in the script that is what I do for a living and is my work—I’m very protective of these characters and the story and I think we have a right to be—I wasn’t angry. I just wanted to understand why and what was the message we were ultimately sending with this script and story. By the end of it, I felt good and it gave me all the confidence I needed. It was better than I could have ever hoped.”

But then there's Jensen in 2015 talking about all of Dean’s bromances. (x) [gifs at the top] Could go either way - starting to figure it out? or No?

What had changed if anything? the entire Crowely season 10 story line? This was July 2015 - the same day as the SDCC 2015 panel where Misha talked about Destiel (x @ 13) Carver and Dabb were there -

By this time Jensen and Misha were nominated for a teen choice award for best chemistry against various tv couples (and one ensemble cast, but the award nomination did NOT include Jared) .... Misha and Jensen would go on to WIN this award one month after the panel.

At the Panel Rob and Rich ask the question: “You two have branded yourselves as TV’s greatest team since, ... idk who.... Ernie and Bert so.” [Misha says to Jensen & Jared, half not on the microphone: “I really didn’t expect them to throw us under the bus.”] “are we going to see that continue? Is the Castiel Dean relationship still aflutter and still growing as we move into season 11?” Jeremy Carver: “Ish.” [mocking from panel ensues] “Yes. Of course. I mean Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. There’s no doubt.”

Jensen Directs 11x03 and the choreo mimics Goodbye stranger (x)

2016 - Jensen: Dean could have a huntress, but you’d kill her.

Jan 2017 Con the infamous - no hedge - harsh - “Destiel doesn’t exist.” (x)

I would hope that if he knew he wouldn’t have been so harsh with it. So by that point either he still didn’t know - OR - to him ‘Destiel’ was specifically about internet porn/sex and not like - the potential for feelings / a relationship. It makes me think about something Misha had actually said, around 2013, “It’s called ‘Destiel’ and it’s about the romantic interludes between Dean and Castiel.” (x)

2017 - jib8 Jensen called Dean a lover of the ladies

May 2017 - After filming the end of season 12:

2018 - Misha confirms he and Jensen have talked about Destiel (x) - also 2018: The Bisexual Dean essay "? No." (Oh god was this really this recent?! I can't deal with this.)

Well. SOMETHING happened in 2019. cuz here it comes

2019 - "Dean has no taste, clearly." 2019 - 'So, tell us just a little bit about what you're most excited to tackle with your character this final season.' "Cas. Just like a full football form tackle."

Look at this face he gave Dean when Cas told him he loved him and tell me he wasn't playing into it here. You can't. (x)

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love-takes-work · 3 years

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Live on Instagram, Rebecca Sugar and Ben Levin (with help from Ian Jones-Quartey) have given us a two-hour fundraiser to benefit the Trevor Project, in honor of Bi+ Awareness Week.

It was a lovely evening hanging out with them. Please see below for a little breakdown of what songs they played and what was discussed during the stream in terms of bi+ youth resources, Rebecca’s experiences, and the importance of having support for bi+ people.

Please go to The Trevor Project and learn more about what they do and how you can help. Their Resources for Bi+ Youth packet is available on the site! You can also donate through Rebecca’s specific fundraiser.

More below:

Rebecca announces this event is for Bi+ Awareness week for the Trevor Project. Ian Jones-Quartey is giving some help with the fundraiser in the background.

First Rebecca plays "Love Like You" on guitar. It's a lovely stripped down version. They're a little bashful about making a couple glitches on the guitar. It's very sweet and charming, Rebecca, no one minds. :)

Next Ben Levin joins on bass and they play "Fries," a longer version than was in the Adventure Time show.

Then Rebecca talks about the Trevor Project and its suicide hotline that they provide for the LGBTQIA+ youth they support. After some tech glitches, they discuss how great Trevor is and what resources and research they provide on why it's so important to support these communities. Since this is Bi+ Awareness Week, they have put together a resource guide. They encourage us to donate to this organization.

Rebecca discusses Ben Levin's involvement on Steven Universe and Craig of the Creek. They decide to play Jeff Rosenstock's song "Illegal Fireworks and Hiding Bottles in the Sand" as a mashup with the Craig of the Creek ending song.

Then they give an update on the donation amounts and Rebecca gets so excited about the support. They admit to being really nervous after no performances for so long.

Rebecca decides to play a solo song and doesn't announce the title at first but Steven Universe fans all know "Escapism." It's a slightly different version with some great guitar additions in an added interlude, and they even throw in some fun super-high squeaky notes at the end.

They give a shoutout to Jeff Liu for the beautiful guitar part. They tell a story about Adam Muto (who worked on "Escapism" with Joe and was Rebecca's board partner on Adventure Time), and how he asked Rebecca to write a song for the Adventure Time finale. Rebecca goes on to play "Time Adventure."

Then they bring Ben back to do the bass while Rebecca sings "I'm Just Your Problem." Rebecca does a cool guitar solo in the middle while Ben rocks on the bass.

Then they do a nice little instrument switch and bring in the omnichord and set up "True Kinda Love." They shout out Chance the Rapper, aivi and surasshu, and of course Estelle for the help writing this song.

Rebecca gets excited again about the amount of people who have donated and gives us info about the hotline for the Trevor Project, how their hotline is available for phone, chat, and text. They also point out the existence of Trevor Project's available pamphlet, which can help people understand their Bi+ friends and family, as well as helping actually Bi+ people understand how they can expect to be treated, how to understand themselves, and that they aren't defined by their partner.

Rebecca then takes a moment to set up with an acoustic guitar (so they can have their foot on a box since they don't have a strap) and they cut out briefly to get it organized. Then they do indeed come back with their foot on box.

With a shoutout to Kate Micucci (who is watching on Instagram Live), Rebecca says she will play "a Lars and Sadie song" that she's figuring out on guitar, and plays "Be Wherever You Are."

Rebecca goes back to getting excited about the donation amount and they can't believe it's as high as it is with the concert less than half over! They say they'd like to make a tradition of doing a Bi+ Awareness Week fundraiser every year. She didn't have access to information that Trevor is now providing to bi youth when she was growing up in the 2000s, and thinks their resources are so vital. She suggests using their resources yourself or that you slip the resources to people in your life who want to support (or need to know more about how to support) bi youth.

Rebecca says they're about to play a "really really hard" song that they're nevertheless excited to go for. They said maybe we can guess what it is. They shout out Nick DeMayo, who's in the audience, the animation director of Steven Universe who is Greg's namesake and taught them a lot about music. And then they jump into . . . a guitar and bass version of "Other Friends"!

They shout out aivi and surasshu, Jeff Liu, and Sarah Stiles for all their contributions to that song, and how cool it is to play a "campfire version" of the song even though it's different.

Next, she wants to play a solo (but will need Ben again right after!) but takes a moment to thank everyone in attendance for supporting the stream and the Trevor Project. They say "thank you for bearing with me" regarding the performance rockiness.

They talk about Marceline and how they felt so connected to this character--writing episodes like "What Was Missing" where Marceline would be revealed to have had a relationship with Bubblegum and be known to be a bi character, and Rebecca felt so astonished that the audience understood Marceline was bi and understood she would always be bi, not fluctuating in orientation based on current relationships defining her. Rebecca explored this about herself only after she saw it explored with Marceline, and understood it was so important to have media that helps people understand who a bi person might be. She never related to the "party person" or extrovert stereotype of bi people as they’re usually shown in media, and thought as a nerdy person who was shy, she couldn't be bi if that was true. Cartoons helped her connect with people who understood those things about Marceline and eventually about herself.

Trevor is so important as an organization to help the next generation understand all of this. Rebecca has felt that knowing herself wasn't possible if she didn't understand her bisexuality or accept it as what it is, and it spread instability throughout the rest of her life. What brought her to finally being able to process and understand this aspect of her identity was cartoons, and she hopes cartoons can bring some others in as well. With that, she brings out the song she was asked to write for Marceline even though she had left the show. Rebecca plays "Everything Stays."

Rebecca then says they were a little conflicted about whether they were going to say all that stuff, about why this issue is personal to them. (It's okay, Rebecca, this is the best!!!)

She says that song was about her stuffed black rabbit that was her favorite toy that she thought she loved so much, but she forgot it in the garden and it was damaged. That it was so surprising to her that she could have loved this rabbit the way she did and not realize it was missing, and that it could change without her. "Everything Stays" was obviously about that, but she also says the situation with Spinel was inspired by the same toy. She switches to electric guitar to sing and play "Drift Away" with Ben back on board on bass.

They point out that they're rocketing through the set list and Ian suggests maybe they'll have to do some encores. In thinking about what songs to play, they point out that so many songs were written about their mental health journey and coming out to family and friends. A song that was "at the end of that whole arc" for Rebecca was "Change Your Mind." It can go on forever, they point out, but they'll only play it a few times. On we go with a really smooth guitar version of "Change Your Mind." (It's the extended looping version.)

They announce that now with the Instagram contributions and the landing page we've reached the goal of $20,000, and they can't believe it's at the halfway point of the stream and we have already reached it despite that the show's been done for a long time and they "broke a lot of social media rules" by stepping away for so long, but that's been crucial to their mental health and their journey.

After they come back from a break, they discuss some funny artifacts that they finally got to take home that were left in the office--a Steven Universe piñata that they were supposed to smash in celebration of a pickup and they didn't want to because, you know, hitting a representation of their younger brother is kinda wack? Haha.

They also had a model of Marceline's bass.

These items were left in the office and just kind of frozen in time because Rebecca's last day (written on the white board, still, when they returned!) was March 13, 2020, just as the pandemic was coming down. Returning to collect stuff was like visiting a room that had been frozen in time!

Rebecca offers a stretch goal to get to $30,000 instead of the original $20,000, and talks a little more about the Trevor Project, discussing how important representation has been, to have bi representation in terms of DIRECT support for LGBTQ+ youth. What they've gotten to do with cartoon representation, having queer characters who can just have fun the way heteronormative kids can and see representatives of themselves is great, but these specific resources are also so important.

Rebecca then plays "Heart of the Country," a Paul McCartney song they're learning that has a hard solo they hope they'll nail. After playing it, they say they flubbed some of it but it was super fun.

Rebecca comes out with an old ukulele--older than the one they wrote the Steven theme song on and auctioned off for National Bailout--that they wrote a bunch of Adventure Time songs and got as a Hanukkah present. (They mention happy 5782 for those of us who celebrate Rosh Hashanah.) Ben is also using his first bass! They recommend musical instruments as gifts for bi people because those are the gifts that keep on giving! They mention working on guitar during the lockdown (which has been therapeutic!) and not having played uke in a while because of that. With that, she dives into "Here Comes a Thought."

They decide to talk about the background of "Mindful Education," how they were coming out at the time they were writing that episode and song. They said coming out was like having the ground spin around. They thought mindful meditation, being so wonderful and helpful, could become an 11-minute episode where Steven leads kids in mindful meditation. With help from Ben (and Matt Burnett), Rebecca realized it would work better if they show characters benefiting from the lessons. They have a little joke about how the episode number was 108 and they prided themselves on knowing the episode numbers. Then they put aside the uke and pick up a big black guitar to play "Found."

After this, she talks more about Trevor Project's hotline, chat, text, and resources. They remind us that bi+ people experience very specific forms of marginalization and this organization can help everyone who wants to understand. She thanks everyone for helping with donations and she can't believe the Instagram fundraiser has gotten to $10,000. She's amazed that "the thermometer is bursting" and promises to draw it later. Ben thinks he could be part of future fundraisers and Rebecca reminisces about times they've played together, like in 2016 at SDCC and a Gallery Nucleus show.

Rebecca goes back to the other guitar to do some audience requests for repeat songs and talks about the song "Fries." The story behind this one, when she was writing it--the first song she wrote for television and the first episode she boarded--since she was introverted and struggled with pitching, she went on the roof of Cartoon Network to practice being louder until she was actually audible. Ian helped.

They decide to do the ending Craig song again and Ben says Jeff Rosenstock's song is really nice and Rebecca talks about getting teary over the Craig ending with people sitting around the dinner table. Rebecca's favorite line is "speaking in a stupid secret language." She feels like she still hasn't moved on from that in her life and likes to surround herself with people who speak that language. After it's over, Rebecca says hi to Jeff Rosenstock in the chat.

They do more shoutouts for the Trevor Project and then discuss encore songs. Rebecca decides to do "Love Like You" again because they were sad they messed up a chord during the first performance. It's another lovely version.

After more great discussion of the Trevor Project's resources and Bi+ Awareness Week, Rebecca says hi to her Brazilian friends and how awesome it was to visit there for a convention, and she loves that Trevor is trying to expand resources to be more global. She knows how important those resources would be to help people worldwide. She thanks people for coming out to see her, and admits to being surprised that her life has come to include actual performances since she always thought she'd just be behind a desk as an animator. She gets very nervous about performing but loves that people support her. They love being able to perform and once got a sweet comment from John DiMaggio (the voice of Jake on Adventure Time) who would hear the early demos that were a struggle to be audible, and he told her that she's come so far that it now sounds like she enjoys performing, enjoys the sound of her own voice now. She feels that coming out and all the support from friends, family, and organizations has made that confidence and comfort with herself possible.

With that, Rebecca plays the Steven Universe theme song on guitar!

And then, they play "Time Adventure" again.

Rebecca talks more about the astounding amount of support for Bi+ Awareness Week, how moving it is and how hard it is to hold it together while talking about what it was like to be an adult who didn't know if they were even allowed to be bisexual and nonbinary, how much of their adult life was in such a quagmire over not knowing fully who they were.

For their next to last song, they play a song written by aivi and surasshu with lyrics by Rebecca: "Being Human" from the ending theme of Steven Universe Future.

Finally, Rebecca says thank you to everyone who's been involved in the songs--the performers, aivi and surasshu, Jeff Ball, the Crew, Ben Levin, Ian Jones-Quartey--and everyone who's helped raise over $11,000 just through the Instagram concert. She plays "Change Your Mind" one more time, adding that the journey is ongoing even though this song was written at a time she considers at the end of an arc of self-discovery for her.

Thank you!

(Yes, I did a donation.)

Links:

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/

https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/how-to-support-bisexual-youth/

#rebecca sugar #steven universe #adventure time #the trevor project #ben levin #craig of the creek #myblog

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miracul0us-multishipper · 4 years

Text

Welcome to the Back - Interlude

Adrien centric. Basically an apology for all that chameleon induced salt I had on him during wttb.

Masterpost

Adrien sneaked a look outside. There was a gap between the panels that made up the background of the show, just large enough to peek out without being seen. It was quiet here, away from the bustling make-up artists and designers, hurrying to put finishing touches on their assigned models. His father wasn’t among them of course. He was Gabriel Agreste and didn’t need to improve anything, his designs long since perfected during late nights in his atelier. And he had full faith in his son!

(“I trust that you know how important this is,” he had said this morning, with face like marble, “how crucial it is to not lose face when working with the competition. I have no doubt you will behave accordingly.”)

Still. His happiness that his father had taken the time to build him up did not keep him from scanning the crowd for him. Was he there already? Or would he arrive in a way his mother called “fashionably late”?

Sighing, he turned away from the panels. He wasn’tsad that his father didn’t visit him before the show. Really, he had already talked to him only hours ago and was doubtlessly busy; Adrien shouldn’t be selfish.

Besides, it wasn’t like he was on his own.

“Are you nervous?”, he asked the other model when he returned to their private changing room. “There are so many people out there!”

Felix Leanne rolled his eyes, but his finger was tapping on the table relentlessly.

“Of course there are many people. Otherwise this whole ordeal wouldn’t be worth the hassle.”

“You’re dodging the question,” Adrien noted with a tiny hint of smugness. He liked Felix, even though he was a little cold sometimes. They had worked together often enough to be on friendly terms, both being the only models of each other’s age in their shoots. Both fairly isolated, both so busy.

Felix sighed.

“I’m not. Nervous, I mean. Just impatient.”

His eyes flitted towards the door.

“Mum… Mum said I can start accompanying her to work if I do well tonight. I’d get to see how everything actually works! I wrote down so many questions I want to ask. I just want to be able to askthem already.”

Adrien frowned.

“Aren’t you a little too young to be so interested in… company math?”

“We’re the same age, Adrien.”

“Exactly! The same youngage.” He couldn’t hold in a deep sigh. “If mymom offered to let me do anything I want, I would ask to go to a real school. No more homeschooling, just… doing something normal for once. I’d get to meet so many people, to make so many friends!”

Felix pretended to shudder.

“Ugh, people. Horrific.” He ignored Adrien’s giggling. “Seriously, they’re everywhere.”

“I bet you could go to school with me!” he, in turn, ignored Felix’ nagging. “Then we’d already know someone there. Plus Chloé, of course.”

Felix grimaced at the name but refrained from commenting. He’d learned that Adrien didn’t handle it well if you openly disliked his only friend. He wouldn’t have had the time, anyway, because just then a blur of oranges and yellows stormed into the room, carrying dozens of safety pins and wearing several dozens more clipped to her dress.

“Felix!”, Evelynn Leanne squealed, “you look wonderful, darling, navy blue just makes your eyes pop! Let me see the jacket, will you? Oh, this looks a little tight! It doesn’t chafe, does it? Does it?”

“Mum, stop it! Personal space, please.”

Felix pulled a face when his mother gave his jacket one last tug before stepping back.

“Of course, of course. It’s just… Ugh, you look adorable! Doesn’t he, Ms. Cess?”

The Leanne’s assistant, a round black woman that looked absolutely unshakable, gave Felix a small smile.

“He looks like a professional.”

Felix didn’t beam. Adrien was sure his face was physically incapable to. But the hint of a smile that graced his usually tight lips might be his version of that.

“Thank you,” he said genuinely, before sobering up again. “Now, if you’d leave me to prepare? Also, I’m pretty sure you have more than one design to check up on.”

Evelyn sighed, just the way her son was prone to do.

“Let me have my moment, will you? But fine! I still haven’t heard any news from the missing accessory line, and that Sancœur lady was very adamant that it be complete. Good luck, Felix! You too, Adrien! Love your tie, by the way.”

He perked up immediately.

“Thank you, Madame Leanne!”, he tried to answer, but Felix was already hurrying her and Mademoiselle Cess out of the door. When they were gone, his coworker was leaning against the door in relief and Adrien’s throat felt weirdly tight.

“Sorry about that,” Felix said nonchalantly, “she’s been a little clingy since… you know.”

Of course. The divorce, he’d read about it in the newspaper. He couldn’t imagine how horrible it would be to lose his father like that, how terrible Felix must feel.

“Are you okay?” the (slightly) older boy asked after a moment. “You were so quiet.”

Adrien shook his head, shushing those thoughts.

“Of course! Your mother is great, I just… Mine can’t be here today. She’s still not feeling well.”

An understatement, he feared. His father wouldn’t let him into her room to say goodbye before he went to the show. He was just worried, of course! And he’d explained it to him.

(“Don’t bother your mother now, Adrien. She needs her rest.”

“I just wanted to see her before the show. To say goodbye- “

His father flinched at that; his tone sharp.

“There’s no need to- She’ll still be here after the show! Don’t- Don’t let your nerves get the better of you.”

Then, a little softer: “You can talk to her tomorrow.”)

Felix looked at him through somber blue eyes.

“I’m… sorry to hear that. But your father will be here, yes?”

Hurrying to smile, Adrien nodded.

“Yes, we’ll drive home together.”

At that, Felix’ eyes narrowed.

“Uh… great? But before that he’ll want to see you, won’t he?”

To be honest, he was never quite sure what his father wanted. But that wasn’t what this was about, anyway!

“He is very busy,” Adrien explained. “Managing the Show, and all that. But that’s alright! It’s very important to him, and I’m happy to be part of it. It makes me feel… I don’t know, closer to him.”

Felix’ did not relent.

“But don’t you want him to say Good Luck or something? Surely, he can’t be thatbusy.”

“Well…” he admitted. “I… I did hope he’d come by. Like your mom always does. But I don’t want to be greedy! He’s needed elsewhere, probably.”

He straightened.

“Besides, I don’t want to complain to you. With all that… divorce business you’ve already got on your shoulders.”

It was a cheap trick to change the topic, but it worked. Felix scoffed and turned away.

“Oh please, I’m happymy Dad isn’t here. Not that he would care, anyway. I barely saw him even before Mum kicked him out, and what I saw of him was distant, dismissive and derogatory at best. Really, I could never see him again and not lose any sleep about it.”

Adrien couldn’t believe anyone could truly feel that way about their father. Sure, he was disappointed in his father from time to time, sometimes even angry. But he was still, well, his father.

“I’m sure he does love you.”, he tried to comfort his friend. “Maybe if you gave him another chance, he would- “

“I don’t want to talk about it.” Felix snapped, still not looking at him. “He had thirteen years’ worth of chances. I won’t let him… I won’t stand for that kind of inconsequence.”

With that, he straightened his shoulders and turned around.

“Besides, you’re hardly unbiased. It’s rather obvious you’re projecting.”

His voice was harsher than intended and it showed. No sooner than he said it, his eyes widened and he looked away.

“I… I meant…”

“I’m not projecting.”, Adrien said. His voice was oddly quiet to his own ears, and his chest felt cold. “I’m not- I love my père. He’s not- I love him. You don’t know him. He’s just- I’m sure you love your father too, deep down.”

He didn’t know what his own face looked like, but Felix looked stricken.

“Yes,” he said softly, caving, “I guess so. I didn’t mean to imply…”

“It’s okay,” Adrien quickly assured him. No need to be so upset. He was just getting emotional again, and that so close to the beginning of the show. “I know you didn’t mean it that way. I’ll just…” – he pointed towards the door – “…leave you to, y’know, prepare.”

He was out of the room before Felix could protest, towards the back entrance. He needed air, just for a moment. To ground himself.

The heavy door swung open and the security personnel outside gave him a curious glance, but let him pass without question. Cool evening air hit him, soothing and clear. It helped. It always helped.

He could always think more clearly when he was outside. Felix hadn’t meant to say that. He hadn’t meant it, because it wasn’t true. Adrien’s father wasn’t dismissive. He wasn’t distant. He cared, and he loved him. Adrien knew it. So what if-

The crash of a shutting door around the corner caught his attention.

“…know who I am?!”, an angry voice shouted. “I have a right to be here!”

Curious, Adrien came closer until he could see the speaker. A light-haired man with impressive sideburns and an expensive looking suit was raging against a closed door, or rather the person who had shut it.

“You can’t keep me out! Tell her that! Tell her she’s a- “

The man fell silent when he spotted Adrien.

“What are you looking at, boy?!” he snarled and Adrien took a step back. Oh god, had he been staring?

“S-sorry,” he muttered, “I didn’t mean to- “

That’s when he noticed his eyes. Blue-grey, like cold stone. Like Felix’ eyes.

“Monsieur- Monsieur Leanne?”, he asked tentatively. The man in front of him flinched, then towered over him with something in his eyes Adrien couldn’t place. It frightened him.

“It’s Bordeaux.”, he spit, emphasizing every syllable, “René Bordeaux. And who are you?!”

Oh god, he was doing everything wrong today. Leanne was Felix’ mother’slast name.

“Adrien- Adrien Agreste,” he pressed out, not knowing whether to apologize or to run. His fear was misplaced, however. Within mere seconds Monsieur Bordeaux relaxed, all hints of aggression evaporating like boiling spaghetti water.

“Agreste!”, he said cheerfully, a dizzying contrast to his previous demeanor, “Gabriel’s boy, I take it?”

“Y… yes!”, Adrien confirmed quickly, relieved that the situation was apparently saved. Had he imagined Monsieur Bordeaux’s anger? There was no trace of it now! Perhaps he had read the situation wrong… it wouldn’t be the first time. “Yes, that’s me.”

“Well, I’m a big fan!”, the reporter beamed. “Of you andyour dad. Excited for the show? You must be so nervous, being the main star!”

Flattered, Adrien shrugged.

“Oh, it’s not… not a big deal. But thank you, Monsieur Bordeaux.”

“But it is!”, Bordeaux insisted. “Call me René, young man, no need for formalities.”

He put a hand on his shoulder, lowering his voice.

“To be honest, I’m very impressed how well you are handling all this pressure. I have a son your age, and I know he would be at a total loss for what to do.”

“Oh. Oh!”, Adrien realized, “You mean Felix! I’m actually working with him tonight!”

“Oh? You don’t say!”

“It’s true! He’s doing great, though. A real professional!”

Monsieur- René sighed.

“I’d love to believe that. The Felix I know tends to be… stubborn. I fear he’ll refuse help from everyone, even those who have his best interest at heart.”

Adrien frowned. That was true, Felix was stubborn. But Adrien hadn’t noticed anything the other boy might need help with, so he couldn’t judge. It just didn’t sit right with him that his dad didn’t believe Felix could do it.

“Really, you can be proud of him!”, he tried again. “He’s gonna be flawless, you’ll see at the- oh.”

Another mistake. René wouldn’t see his son, because he was not allowed at the show.

“Well, yes.”, Felix’ father agreed, patting him on the back as if to say ‘no worries’. “There’s the problem, you see?”

“I’m sorry for that.”

“Ah, don’t be! It’s not your fault. Really, that’s between me and Evelyn. She just… doesn’t want me to be a part of Felix’ life anymore. All because of some small mistakes I made. And now, now Felix will never…”

“Give you a chance.”, Adrien concluded. René smiled wistfully.

“Exactly. I just want… another, uh, chance.”

He was looking into the distance, before promptly jumping up and turning to him.

“Wait a minute! You are the star of the evening! What if youbrought me in with you? Then I could see Felix before the show!”

Adrien blinked. He… he could do that! But…

“I… I don’t think that would be a good idea. Felix said he doesn’t want to see you.”

“Oh, I’m sure he did. But sometimes, what people say they want, and what they need are two entirely different things!”

…that sounded familiar, but not quite right.

“I don’t understand.”

“See,” René began, crouching down to his height, “take your dad! He’s probably very busy, isn’t he?”

He didn’tflinch.

“That’s fine! I am supporting him!”, Adrien said, voice sharper than intended.

“Of course you do! And you probably tell him that. You don’t wanna nag him, am I right?”

Slowly, he nodded.

“But surely, deep down, you would like him to see you more, wouldn’t you?”

“I… I guess. And you think Felix is the same? Even though he is mad at you?”

“Let me put it that way. I did some tinythings wrong, and now Felix wants to punish me for it. But you make mistakes too, don’t you? And you don’t want to be abandoned for them either.”

“No!”, he gasped, horrified, “No, of course not!”

“See? And you’re right! Know why?”

René gestured into the distance.

“There’s good people, and there are evil people, who do evil things, like bombing churches, or kicking puppies. But people like you and I – Good People, the rightkind of people – wecan change.

“...or explain why we didn’t do anything wrong in the first place. There’s always two sides, and all that. Nothing is made better if everyone just turns away from us! Punishing us for mistakes doesn’t make them disappear. Only if we are given another chance we can make things right.”

Something still didn’t sit right with Adrien, but he couldn’t put his finger on it.

“But… but what if the mistake is really bad?”

René’s face darkened, before lighting up again.

“Clever kid, you! Even then, punishing bad things never made them good, am I right? You can only” – he snapped his finger – “suck it up and support others to do better. And you are exactly the kind of person who would know better, clever as you are. Really, Felix could take a page from your book!”

He stood up, looking down on him.

“So, what do you say, young man? Do you wanna be my hero and help a worried father care for his son?”

Adrien looked back at the private entrance. The security people who would do as he said. The building his own father was probably in.

“I…”

Felix would thank him, eventually, right?

“I’ll do it.”

“So, here we are!”, Adrien announced to his companion. “Welcome to the back... stage. This is the hallway that leads to the stage, there you’ll arrive at the stairs to the audience, and here’s the way to our private changing room! Do you want me to tell Felix you are coming, or do you want to talk alone?”

René wasn’t looking at him. His eyes were darting over the many settings on his camera, then towards the changing room.

“Know what, kid? Maybe don’t tell Felix I’m here just yet.”

Adrien’s smile faltered.

“But… but the show is going to start soon! Don’t you want to wish him good luck?”

“Ah, don’t worry about it.”, René dismissed with a wave of his hand, “Luck is the last thing he needs. Tell you what, I have something… special planned. You don’t want to ruin the surprise, do you?”

That made sense. He shook his head, and the reporter grinned.

“That’s what I thought. No off you go, get ready for your modeling gig!”

Adrien’s chest felt tight. He didn’t like the expression in René’s eyes. But he had been wrong so often. Felix would thank him eventually, he reminded himself. René just needed another chance.

Felix would thank him.

Felix did not thank him.

An hour later, there was press everywhere, and at least one police car. Adrien was lost and stumbling around between running people. Camera’s clicked, someone was yelling, he could see Felix’ mom talking to an officer. Her make-up was running. Was she crying?

“Adrien!”, a hoarse voice yelled, and suddenly Felix was there, pulling at his arm, “What did you do?!”

His eyes weren’t like stone anymore. They looked like thawing ice. Cold and watering andbreaking.

“I-”

“What did you do?!”

“I only wanted- I was just- “

“What?! Whatwere you?! Trying to ruin everythingfor me!?”

“No! I didn’t think- “

“There you are!”, a familiar voice called and Adrien almost sagged in relief. Nathalie pulled him away from Felix with no effort at all, instructing the security personnel to drag the kicking and cursing boy back to his mother. Then she pulled Adrien with her, towards the private box where his father sat.

Adrien gulped.

Gabriel Agreste was utterly motionless, looking down upon the chaos below. Not a hair was out of place, not the hint of an emotion in his eyes.

“That would be all, Nathalie.”, he said simply, and Nathalie let go of Adrien to return to her tablet.

“Father…”, he said, voice breaking. “I don’t understand what happened. Did I… did I do something wrong?”

His father was still watching the crowd below. The press, trying to get a shot of Evelyn Leanne. The police, running around and interviewing people. A blonde boy in navy blue, so small from above, blocking his ears and trying escape the cameras.

A show in ruins.

“Sir,” Nathalie spoke up again, before Gabriel could even turn to his son, “we heard back from Madame Bourgeois. She wants to reconsider doing her Fashion Highlights article about the Gabriel Brand instead of Leanne’s. And there’s a British perfume company looking for a new partner in fashion.”

With that, Gabriel stood up. His son lowered his head, trying to sink into the ground before the yelling could begin. But instead of raising his voice, his father raised his hand and –

“Let’s go home, Adrien.”

–…pat him on the shoulder.

“Father?”

He was confused. He’d been so sure this was his fault, that he had messed up somehow.

“Shouldn’t I- shouldn’t I go talk to Felix first?”

His father looked past him, towards the Leanne’s.

“I doubt you will be working with him again.”, was his reply. He looked almost… content when he turned away from the scene. “Let’s not waste our breath.”

With that, Gabriel Agreste started walking away.

And Adrien, ever the obedient son, followed.

—

Many things would happen between that fateful night, and another night that promised to be even more fateful.

Adrien had lost his mother.

Adrien had gained friends.

Adrien had gone to school; Adrien had left it.

He had been a hero and a villain, and through it all, a child.

A child that had to be better. A child that now knew, he could become what had become of René Bordeaux.

A child that would not.

He would not become like Bordeaux. Like Lila. He wouldn’t allow it.

And he would prove it!

He would do better, be better. So that he could return to school, to his friends, and show them that he wouldn’t let them down again. If they’d still have him.

He would show Nino that he’d never ever lie again.

He would show Alya that he’d never let her be used again.

He would show Marinette that he would never abandon her again.

And… he would show Felix that he got it now. That he wouldn’t disappoint him again.

And maybe, that would show Ladybug that she had been right to trust him one last time. Even if it wasn’t as her partner.

The door to his room opened, and Adrien held his breath. Nathalie would have knocked.

“Adrien,” his father greeted him, an even for him atypical amount on tension in his face, “we need to talk.”

“We do,” Adrien agreed, opening the tab with the list of therapists he’d been considering. Then he remembered himself and bit his lip. “Uh, you go first.”

He didn’t know if his father had even heard him. He was turned towards the window, before looking back at his son.

“I always wondered… I knew you were hiding something. Your behavior was so… unlike yourself.”

Adrien’s brow furrowed.

“Father?”

“I am not mad at you Adrien, though I admit, at first…”

He turned around, simmering anger in his usually cool eyes.

“I couldn’t believe you would be able to hide something of that importance from me. Clearly, I was wrong.”

“Father, I- “

“No. Listen to me, Adrien. This might be our chance, our onlychance. Your mother’s only chance.”

The room seemed to get colder. Gabriel talked on.

“I never thought I would be able to involve you, always thinking you might be too… fragile. I see now that this was a mistake. If I had been more open in my endeavor, this would have ended a long time ago. But maybe it needed to happen. It needed to happen, so that you would truly understand what needs to be done.”

What do you mean, Adrien wanted to ask, but his mouth was frozen shut. Something icy was growing in his chest. In his pocket, he clutched a colorful little lucky charm like a lifeline.

“Adrien.”

His father stepped closer.

“I know that you were Chat Noir.”

Somewhere, deep in his soul, his subconsciousness was already connecting the final dots, only waiting for his mind to catch up. It kindly refused the invitation, choosing to revel in blissful ignorance for a few more minutes.

“I… F-father, I… I swear- “

“It’s alright, son. Everything will be alright. Look at me, Adrien.”

He did. He did, and he did not know who he was looking at.

“My son,” his father said, and there was a spark in his eyes that scared him, “it seems so fitting. That all of us would carry such a burden, at one point. As if fate itself kept a close eye on our family.”

“You are Hawkmoth.”, someone said. It took both Agreste’s a few moments to realize it had been Adrien who’d said it. And even then, it took Adrien’s mind several more to put ‘blissful ignorance’ back into its box and catch up with his subconscious and mouth. The lucky charm in his pocket felt cold, so cold, like it had felt only once before.

At TV1.

“You are Hawkmoth,” he repeated, and his voice didn’t falter. Neither did his father.

“I understand if you feel… betrayed.”, the latter said slowly, pronouncing the last word like something spiky he didn’t want to get too close to. “There is much you don’t know yet. But until I show you, I need you to remember that we are family. And that we have a common goal, and since quite recently, a common enemy.”

In his head, his thoughts were racing, too fast to be of any use to him. He felt numb. But fifteen years of experience with his father had taught him when to be quiet, and when to ask questions.

“A… common enemy?”

“Yes.”

His father smiled. It looked wrong.

“You were a hero. You were the Black Cat, you were Chosen. But they took that from you. The moment you didn’t meet their expectations anymore, they tossed you aside. As if you hadn’t sacrificed so much for them. I saw you, everything you did for them. For her.”

“Ladybug.”

The word felt odd in his mouth, as if it didn’t want to be said. His father’s smile widened.

“Ladybug,” he agreed, and if the name had hesitated on Adrien’s tongue, it positively rebelled on Gabriel’s. It sounded poisonous, dripping with disdain. “And the Guardian. And, not to forget, the imposter that took your place.”

Adrien looked up at him, slowly.

“You akumatized me.”

His father didn’t flinch. But he blinked, once, before stepping back.

“So I did.”

He turned around, towards the window. Towards Paris beyond, that feared him every day.

“Imagine my surprise when I learned that the one I was doing this all for was the one fighting me, all along. That the key to our happiness had been beneath my very own roof.”

He shook his head.

“The past is in the past. I know exactly how you felt, in that moment. I could feel it firsthand. How alone. Abandoned by those that should have stood with you.”

He turned back around, facing his son. For the first time in what felt like forever, there was genuine emotion on his face.

“Adrien, if you still feel that way, then we can fix it. Together. We can retrieve your Miraculous, and every other Miraculous too!”

He gripped his shoulder with unexpected strength, eyes wide.

“Adrien, I know just how deep Ladybug’s betrayal cut you. But now that you see her for what she really is, you have the power to make her regret. To take back what you deserve, what you are owed.”

He remembered Lila. Her power to make people believe anything. Just by knowing what they wanted to hear.

“Imagine it, son.”

Adrien imagined.

Being Chat Noir once more. The thing in his life he had loved so much, so much.

But he knew, it hadn’t been the costume he’d loved. When he thought of being Chat Noir, he thought of Plagg’s annoying voice. His constant company, his purrs. He thought of Ladybug and laughter, and racing over rooftops with someone that believed in him.

He thought of escape. Why did he want to escape?

Alone. Abandoned by those that should have stood with you.

He hadbeen alone, for so long. He had been abandoned.

“I love you, Father.”

He looked up. His father looked confused.

“I will always love you.”, he added, and the words felt right. They felt true. He smiled.

“Of course I will help you! I have always supported you, no matter what.”

Because what else could he do?

“I knew I could trust you.”

He was no hero anymore.

“I am so proud of you.”

And he was no villain either.

“You’ll see, Adrien.”

He was a child.

“It will all be worth it, in the end.”

A child that knew he could become everything his father wanted him to be.

A child thatwould not.

“Of course, Father.”

He would not become like Bordeaux. Like Lila.

Like Gabriel Agreste.

“Let me show you the reason for all this.”

Adrien felt like he knew already. Like it would be painful. Like it still wouldn’t change anything. And yet, he smiled. He smiled, the exact same smile he had always worn when his father ignored another birthday. The smile for when his father turned his back yet again. The smile that was so false it hurt.

The smile that would have given him away if his father had looked at him just a little bit closer, those past few years.

“I’m right behind you,” he said, reaching out with one hand for his father’s, with the other for his phone. He had no way to contact Ladybug now. But he knew someone who could. Whose lucky charm was in his pocket, comforting and warmonce again.

He wasn’t scared. He wasn’t angry. He knew exactly what needed to happen, and that she would makeit happen.

“With your help, Adrien, this will all be over soon.”

Alone. Abandoned.

Oh yes.

Distant, dismissive, derogatory.

He was right.

I will not disappoint you.

More so than he knew.

“My son,” his father said, and Adrien was so sure he could see love in his eyes. “Now I know that we will be victorious.”

With that, Gabriel Agreste started walking away.

And Adrien, no longer the obedient son, followed.

#miramu writes #wttb #welcome to the back #felinette #adrien agreste #salt fic #this one isn't particularly salty tho #ml sugar #?#let me know if the tags don't fit

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lopez-richter-fangirl · 3 years

Text

Okay here’s everything I can remember hopefully further viewings can fill in some gaps:

So they opened doors early and there were just a few of us in the lobby with Jaime still walking around taking pics of all her decorations half in costume

Curt got there from a class and he came to talk to us and was really excited about the show and telling us how much we were gonna love it

And Jaime was still wandering around and she came over and was like you’re here early so she took us over to show us the christmas tree and said you can be in charge of making sure everyone knows about this decorate your own ornament station and I cannot overstate how excited and proud she was of her decor and it looked so good and she’s so fucking sweet (and it brought me back to my very first irl starkid interaction being her talking to a group of us at avpw right after getting off her flight she really is an angel🥺) and then she said she had go eat dinner but her hand was hovering by my shoulder as she was saying it and I was like oh no will she won’t she and then she DID and I was like OKAY BREATHE oh my god I love her

Angela from shitty broadway was there to play piano in the lobby and she was so nice (everyone’s so nice lol) we did the whole ‘where have you come from’ so she got very excited about me coming from London and then she was taking group pics of us

Amy was on merch and she was so nice SK customer service is really :)

Then Corey had to run around handing out wristbands to confirm our vaccine status for those of us that got there early before they were actually giving them out and thank god he did because some people had to go back to get them when they got to the point of seating us and then I wouldn’t have been so close but also two second interactions with Corey are scarier than conversations with anyone else lmao (I mean except J&L but I didn’t talk to them)

And no surprise Bob and Denise were there but I didn’t need them to be in my eyeline, as I said I could barely manage to look at them because the show was a damn spectacle but the couple moments I did see they looked so damn proud of their kids also no surprise

But yeah my seats were SO GOOD and I couldn’t believe I was seeing them all in person again and having them be that close like it’s so surreal. And they also made such good use of the space it was really cool

As I said AJ KILLED the preshow oh my god. And they got Britney to do a fun filmed thing even though they asked her to do it during company tech week lmao she’s such a good sport

Also like I’ve said it and starkid and curt have said it but truly the ENERGY in the room, we were so excited, THEY were so excited, genuinely eeeeverything was getting cheers. And it’s always so special to be in a room full of starkid fans like that’s home brb crying 😭

Okay actual show specifics lmao (or sometimes not specifics just yelling)

Clark is phenomenal and he wrote the best show and his costume? So good

Dylan’s just so damn good in this role

Teared up just when Joey came on I love him okay and I missed him so much, but his background acting is truly divine

Lauren’s first appearance was from the audience so my simultaneous first thoughts were “god she’s so fucking GORGEOUS” and “fuck she’s TINY” because she was barely taller than people sitting down lmao

Meredith looked so happy 🥺

JAIME queen she killed her choreo lmao

And I’m not getting over Lauren and Brian as siblings and Lauren and Brian hug we won 😭

Janaya was INCREEEDIBLE oh my god

CHRISTMAS ELECTRICITY JAMES HE’S SO GOOD AND THE CHOREO AHHHHH AND HIS LIGHT UP SHOES and EVERYONE’S costumes looked so good excellent work June and we got a lil James Lauren and Jamie dance trio ugh it was so good

But then the cratchit interlude 😭 It was very fun to have new little bits of content to the show but this one just made me want to sob already, Lauren walking up with the kids (wearing the fucking boots I just can’t escape them) and then Joey did fully carry Brian on and wonders why he has back problems lmao

And then he held his hand out for her to join him when he started the song and this is me just being overemotional about them lol but it did feel really symbolic for their first live performance as a public couple 😭😭 And I did have a moment of ‘oh my god *everyone* knows they’re together now’ and you could feel how special it was and ugh crying forever

And he spun her which honestly when I was picturing the performance I was like god that would be so cute if he did and then HE DID but it made me think about their first dance so I didn’t need that because god they’re just so soft and sweet and the heart eyes 😭

AND THEN they did an almost kiss and got cut off by tiny tim which thankfully I was forewarned about because I would have died they live to torture us but ALSO that’s when Lo’s wig almost came off (because she has to tilt her head so far back to kiss him because she’s so tiny byeee😭) so that alleviated the feeling of wanting to die a little bit 😂

But the hand on her stomach literally just holding it for a few seconds Joey let me BREATHE

Oh the “honey” did come back 😒

And the high note 😭😭😭

I just literally will never get over how fucking incredible priceless was and how much it feels like this is just what they’re *meant* for like they’re so in their element and they’re so in love 😭😭

Okay remember in final ghost how brian and mere played those spouses yeah it was brian and AJ lol

But J&L were holding hands in their part kill me 😭😭 They made me cry again fuck them

Also Jamie’s costume was GORGEOUS

And okay christmas day DYLAN’S RED SEQUIN JACKET THAT WAS A SURPRISE YES JUNE

And god Ali turkey boy I love you so much

I think this was where AJ was over enthusiastic in his exit and slammed right into Lo as she came on so she got giggly

And the bit where scrooge gives bob a raise Joey and Dylan hugged and it was so cute oh my god 😭

Then curtain calls I love curtain calls but this one felt so special like Joey and Lauren’s faces and Brian and Mere’s hug and everyone being so damn happy to have done a live show again

God the show literally left me breathless and no one wanted to leave at the end lmao

Also I don’t remember specifics but there were little changes in the way some of the lines were sung and ugh so good it made me wish they were doing like a live album

Anyway that’s it for now but I can’t believe I get to do it all again four more times 😭

#whiplash the musical

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sometimesrosy · 3 years

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I'm looking forward to seeing how they deal with mal and alina's, relationship in the second season. for me I really enjoyed them in the third book but not as much in the second (mostly due to us not seeing what mal was thinking and feeling so I think it will definitely be interesting to see that on screen). what are your thoughts?

YES. Bardugo really didn’t SHOW mal and alina. Frankly, imo, in the whole trilogy.

So I’ve been writing and reading romance almost exclusively for the last two years... make that five or six years, because before that, I was writing and reading fanfiction, and that is essentially romance, and what I saw in The Grisha Trilogy is the set up for an epic romance. The plot was based around this romance of two children, best friend who grew up together, Alina’s unrequited pining, then Mal’s longing for her as soon as she left, a love triangle with the Darkling, then a love triangle with Nikolai, Mal as an alpha male who never sleeps with another woman after realizing he’s in love with Alina, that whole ‘meet me in the meadow’ thing, and then the final thing which I’m not going to mention because it’s too much of a spoiler but which is SO MUCH a meant-to-be true love thing.

But there was very little romance written in the narrative.

Most of it was about how they CAN’T be together. And yeah, that’s kind of an essential part of any romance-- what keeps them apart-- but it lacked the moments that drew them back together. There were few interludes that explored what their connection WAS. And I mean, that doesn’t make sense because they ran away together. They were sharing a BED. Sure they weren’t. EVER. alone. But we should have gotten confidences and connection and emotion. And we just didn’t.

For a series ABOUT Malina, honestly when you come down to it, since being together or NOT being together was such an essential part of every book, and it was always bracketed by an intro about the girl and boy and ended with the resolution which required Mal and Alina, (and had an epilogue about Malina) I feel like it should have shown more of their relationship and interactions and intimacy. Maybe it was because it was all Alina’s internal monologue, which kept Mal out. IDK.

It was like it was TELLING us it was a romance, without ever (or rarely) SHOWING us the romance.

I think we won’t have that problem in the show. They’ve already shown to be more interested in showing the connection between Malina, and seem to know how to do romantic tension. Also, a lot of it is about the *looks* they give each other, which Bardugo never really showed. It’s subtext. Which Bardugo left out. You can keep the romance subtle and just read into actions and visual shots and parallels and such. But in the books, most of the romance was displayed with JEALOUSY. Well. I think she didn’t know how to write romance, that’s why jealousy was the only aspect we really got on a regular basis.

I mean, Mal’s jealousy was understandable, but it’s the only thing that was explored as romance. She was ALSO jealous, so it was used for both of them, and they both wrote letters regularly and when they got no response they both went, *shrug* ‘I guess I didn’t mean anything to them.’ But this was the person each was closest to in the world. WHY would they come to that conclusion? Makes no sense. I mean, the boy got a giant tattoo, and the emotional and romantic resonance of THAT was ignored. He was devoting his life to her. He would sacrifice his life for HER. And while the actions were there... there was little direct discussion of it. Men kept asking Alina to marry them and Mal acted like he had no claim on Aline, which he DID. They ran away together. It was romantic. And Alina was just like *shrug* I guess I should think about marrying some other guy not my soulmate, even though he’s RIGHT there and just risked his life for me AGAIN. And never talked to him about it? And I frankly did not understand that.

Maybe she’d never been in love and didn’t understand what it felt like? But I think she wasn’t that young when she wrote it. Maybe she just didn’t know how to write romance? MAYBE she didn’t VALUE romance and so never bothered with it. Frankly I think that’s it, because she went to Yale, and let me tell you about academia’s disdain for genre-- ESPECIALLY romance-- as a non literary form of narrative. Or perhaps there was a bit of the disdain which kept her from understanding what it means to write a romance or learning how to. That might also explain the kind of confessional writing style. Because even though this IS fantasy, and academia has disdain for SFF (not as much as romance) lit fic focuses on character over action or plot, which that internal monologue fits better. I went to college only five years before Bardugo, so essentially the same era, and it took me YEARS to get rid of that naval gazing internal monologue.

So what do I think of Malina in the books? I think it did not live up to the promise of the narrative. And I think the show will probably be able to make good on that promise, because romance is good tv, so they won’t shy away from it. The scaffolding of a great Malina story is there, but the details that make it rich and compelling are missing.

So my opinion of book Malina is not that it’s toxic like some people believe. It’s not. It’s probably IMMATURE. But that’s not really wrong for a couple of twenty year olds, both of whom are immature. I think the writing didn’t go far enough. It wimped out on the romance, and whether that was deliberate or unintentional, it’s a flaw in the story of the great epic romance that it was honestly narratively designed to be.

I’m looking forward to what they can do with it in coming show, though.

#shadow and bone #sab #malina #book v show

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backtothestart02bts · 3 years

Text

Just Best Friends - Ch.6 | Preview

A/N: Meant to finish this chap today but real life got in the way. I managed to write the first scene though. Hope you enjoy.

...

Barry sped straight home after his…interlude with Iris.

More like an explosion, he thought. Interlude was putting it nicely.

He had done pretty well keeping Joe out of the loop so far, at least as far as the cheating was concerned. He’d come up with one excuse after another that surprisingly the older man had bought. It even got to the point where they could hang out, watch movies, whatever, and Joe wouldn’t question him about what happened just a few weeks ago the night Iris almost slept over.

And while he didn’t know if he’d be spilling that particular news tonight, he wouldn’t be surprised if it came up. He supposed to was his own fault Iris found out he was the Flash. He really shouldn’t have let her kiss him, and he shouldn’t have kissed her back. But even after Linda had totally rocked his world, and he’d still been bitter at Iris, due to their conversation, he found he couldn’t resist Iris even if he tried, even if she didn’t realize who she was really kissing.

He should’ve known the familiarity of his kissing style would’ve been a red flag.

Did that mean he was predictable and so would be a boring kisser if they had gotten together?

He supposed he’d never know now. Now that Iris knew he was the Flash, she wouldn’t be kissing him in or out of the suit ever again.

But Joe needed to know that she knew. It was late. Past 11. But Barry couldn’t wait until morning. He’d probably get an earful from the man, but he knew it was what he deserved. He also needed advice on what to do next, and he knew he’d get it. That was the important part. The outcome. He could deal with Iris the next day. If she didn’t go home immediately and tell Eddie, of course. That would be even more problematic, given Eddie’s opinion of the Flash in the past.

He tried not to think about that.

Finally arriving in the house, he sped to the top of the stairs and started calling for Joe. He flung open his bedroom door, expecting to find him in bed, but he wasn’t there.

“Joe?”

“I’m down here, Barry.”

Barry sped downstairs and found Joe walking out of the kitchen. He frowned.

“What are you still doing up?”

Joe took a sip out of the coffee mug he was holding.

“I woke up hungry, so I decided to come down for a snack and some warm milk.”

“Oh.”

Joe’s brows furrowed together.

“Why are you in your Flash suit? Out patrolling?”

“Uh…no. I…went to see Iris actually.”

His eyes widened. It was clear he didn’t know what was going on, but he sensed something was wrong.

“Barry…”

He took a deep breath.

“She knows I’m the Flash, Joe.”

“What?!” He nearly dropped his mug. Carefully, he set it down. “You told her?”

“No!” Barry took a few steps back. “Of course not! I told you I wouldn’t!”

“Then, how? How do you know that she knows? Were you not…vibrating your voice?”

“No, I was! I’m always careful.”

Joe was clearly aggravated.

“What aren’t you telling me, Barry? How does Iris know?”

“She pushed my cowl back when we were… When we…” He froze.

“When you were what?” he demanded.

Barry gulped. “When we were kissing,” he said timidly.

Joe’s eyes widened again.

“Oh.”

“Yeah…”

“I didn’t know you two were…as the Flash, I mean.”

“We weren’t! She left a message on her blog, saying she wanted to meet. I thought she wanted to talk, not…make out.”

“You made out?” Joe scrunched up his nose. He had not been prepared for this discussion, clearly.

“…yeah.” Barry held his breath. “Sorry. It’d just been so long since-”

“Wait, since? You’ve made out with her before? As, as…Barry?”

Barry’s mouth ran dry. Before he could recover to say another word, the front door slammed open, and in walked Iris.

“Oh, good,” she said bitterly. “I’ve caught you red-handed.”

She looked Barry up and down, and he had a nasty feeling she was not checking him out.

“Iris!” he said, shocked and unnerved. She wasn’t supposed to be here. “What are you doing here?”

“Demanding answers!” She came in and shut the door behind her. Barry tensed. Joe watched her warily. “From both of you.”

Barry gulped, and Iris sat down.

“Go on. I’m waiting.”

“I think I deserve some answers first,” Joe said, approaching her.

Iris narrowed her eyebrows.

“That’s ballsy. You two have been keeping this secret from me, since when? Months? Almost a year? What have I possibly not told you?”

“How about when you and Barry made out?”

Her eyes shot daggers at Barry, who only made a slight attempt to avoid her gaze.

“Well, aren’t you full of surprises tonight,” she spat.

“You can’t tell Eddie I’m the Flash, Iris.” Barry stepped forward.

“Why not? I’m already keeping one lie from him. I’m not keeping another.”

“That was your choice. I told you to tell him.”

She got to her feet. “He would’ve broken up with me if I had!”

“Wait,” Joe interjected. “Eddie doesn’t know you cheated on him with Barry?” Iris’ lips thinned. “I need to sit down.”

Joe pulled out a chair at the table. It screeched, but he didn’t take notice of it. His head fell in his hand as he fought to process all the information he’d just been given.

“Listen, I didn’t come here to talk about…that. I came to talk about the fact that my best friend has been lying to me for months. How long have you known, Dad? Since the beginning?”

“Just about,” Barry answered for him reluctantly.

Iris’ eyes shot daggers at her supposed best friend.

“He just wanted you to be safe, Iris. That’s why we didn’t tell you. But believe me…I wanted to. You were the first person I wanted to tell!”

“Wait, wait, wait.” She held up her hands. “Let me get this straight.” She looked at her dad. “You told him not to tell me?”

“Didn’t you hear what I said, Iris?” Barry tried to step between them. “He just wanted to keep you safe! He thought you knowing could’ve put you in danger.”

“Bullshit.” She looked around Barry towards her father again. “If I had known, instead of being in the way, I could’ve been prepared to be out of the way, helping you guys put the bad guys away instead of some…damsel in distress every time a damn meta came to attack the Flash.”

“I thought of that, Iris,” Joe finally said. “Of course I did! Every time you wrote about the Flash on your blog, and-”

“This isn’t just about that, Dad!” she finally admitted. “You knew how Barry felt about me for God knows how long, and you didn’t tell me that either!”

Barry and Joe were both shell-shocked she’d brought that up. She didn’t want to talk about the cheating, but she wanted to talk about…that?

“That wasn’t his secret to tell, Iris,” Barry said.

Joe nodded. “Exactly. I would’ve never-”

“And you,” Iris directed her next accusation at Barry. “You waited fifteen years to tell me how you felt. You waited until I was in a relationship!”

Barry couldn’t look at her. His head fell, and his shoulders slumped. All he could do was nod.

“I…I know.”

“You want to know why I didn’t leave Eddie for you? Because of that! You have no care in the world about what telling me something like that would do to me. I was fine before you told me. Eddie and I were fine. We were better than fine. We were perfect. And now…” She shook her head. “Now everything is wrong, and he doesn’t know why. And I can’t tell him!”

Joe and Barry stayed silent, not knowing what to say.

“God, I can’t even look at you two.”

She turned to leave, and Barry finally summoned the strength to say something and take a few steps toward her.

“Iris, wait.”

Her hand on the doorknob, she turned to look at him.

“Don’t worry, Barry. I won’t tell Eddie you’re the Flash.” She glanced over at Joe. “At least not tonight.”

She swung the door opened, stepped outside, and closed the door tightly behind her. Barry waited until he heard her car start and then speed down the block before turning to Joe.

“What do we do?”

#westallen #fanfiction #fic preview #just best friends #chapter 6

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