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yoonmetogether · 1 day ago

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A Kim Namjoon Oneshot

pairing: idol!namjoon x gn!reader genre: hurt/comfort, established relationship summary: tale as old as time, you’ve been rejected again. will things ever change? but namjoon proves that he’s not going anywhere, and you’re as important to him as the sunrise is to the morning. rating: 18+ only minors dni!!! warnings/tags: reader is sad and insecure, self-deprecating language, hopelessness, small argument, panic attack, crying, mentions of sex, namjoon tells it how it is as a very loving partner, he’s also pretty cheesy wc: 3k LMAOOOOO as always this got out of hand it's really 6.8k note: thanks a million to my lovely @moochii-daisies for beta reading this and giving exquisite feedback that i constantly go back to and cry over!! and also shoutout to my beauty @glossdebut for also betaing and helping me with the group chat at the end <3333 thank you queens!! 🫶🫶🫶 love yall so much

Your mind is blank as you drive through the night, windshield wipers on high because of the pouring down rain. Your heart is racing, but your body is still. Everything you feel is just… numb. You’re becoming too used to rejection, to not being wanted.

To not being as good as everyone else. To people saying you have what it takes, but inevitably losing interest and passing you up for someone better.

It feels like just a matter of time before Namjoon comes to his senses and does the same.

He hasn’t stopped calling you. But you can't answer - you dread what he’ll have to say.

Because you left that rejection letter on the counter before you ran out, so he definitely saw it when he got home. You should’ve torn it up and thrown it in the trash. Burned it.

He’ll probably be so frustrated after yet another let down from you. You hate disappointing the love of your life. It’s almost enough spiralled reasoning to make you not want to go home at all, but it wouldn’t be fair to him.

When you pull up to a red light, you go to open up your phone only to find it dead. Great. Now Namjoon will be disappointed and worried.

The rain has made it fucking cold out in the middle of spring, and you have half a mind to yell at your boyfriend when you see him standing in front of your house with an umbrella. Yep, definitely worried.

Just as you finish parking, Namjoon jogs into the street, reaching out for the handle so you can step out and be under the umbrella. But he’s already looking at you with concern that you can’t face so you walk past him and into the rain, uncaring that it ruins your hair and clothes as you make a beeline for the house.

“Um, hello?” he calls after you, sounding offended.

“Hi!” you throw over your shoulder in a tone unnatural for you.

Thankfully, Namjoon waits until you’ve both made it inside and out of the rain to confront you.

“Where the hell have you been? Do you know how many times I called? Why didn’t you pick up?” He exclaims as he shakes out the umbrella and leaves it on the porch.

“I was driving and then my phone died.”

He huffs, shutting the door. “I was about to hotwire a car and go find you.”

Eyes rolling, you shuck off your shoes and drop your bag next to the closet. “You can’t even drive, what do you know about hotwiring?”

“I’d figure it out.”

“Oh, right, Mr. IQ of 148,” you quip as Namjoon gestures for your soaked jacket. Your skin shakes as you shrug it off and you hope he doesn’t notice. Anxiety, not rain, is making you tremble. You don’t want to explain that.

“Wouldn’t the simpler solution be to, I don’t know, call one of the guys for a ride? Yoongi'd bitch at you for a while, but at least you wouldn’t be risking jail time.”

“The simpler solution would be that the partner who I love and adore picked up the first one or two times I called.”

“Yeah, I know,” you wave him off.

“Hey,” he says in a tone of richer bass, his long finger on your chin turning you to him, fret woven into every line on his face, even his dimples. “I was really worried about you, baby.”

“I just needed some time to myself.”

“Okay,” he nods, understanding. “But I didn’t hear from you all day and then I came home thinking you were here but you weren’t, and then you didn’t answer my calls so I started to think the worst.”

“I’m sorry.” You mean that. Namjoon already has so much to stress and worry about, you shouldn’t add to his plate. You don’t want to become another one of his problems. Maybe you already are.

“I’m guessing you saw the letter.”

“No?” His brows furrow in confusion. “What letter?”

You forget that Namjoon could walk by a burning building and not notice a damn thing, that big brain of his always too lost in thought or handsome nose buried in a book.

Sighing, you turn for the kitchen where you hand him the single sheet of paper that you refuse to look at.

“I didn’t make it.” You stare at the counter as he takes it and reads it over, but your periphery catches the wrinkle in his brows and tick in his jaw.

“Fuck them,” he snaps, flinging the paper back on the counter. “It’s their loss.”

For some reason, his words not blaming you don’t make you feel better.

“Yeah, and this makes me a real winner, Joon,” you mumble, picking at the sleeve of your wet jacket. “It doesn’t matter how much I want it or how hard I work, things are just never gonna fall into place for me. I’ll never be good for anyone.”

“Hey,” he says firmly, slinking into your space with a hand on your forearm. “You are good.”

“Not good enough!”

Namjoon’s eyes widen at your loud tone and the way you pull your arm away from him. You’re not one to yell, especially not at him, but the numbness within you is starting to crack and spill.

“And you’re so successful and good at every fucking thing you do - what if I can’t ever amount to that?”

You know you shouldn’t make him a part of this, but you can’t help it. This insecurity has been building with each rejection you receive, making it impossible to not compare yourself to him.

His concern turns into confusion mixed with something else, and he steps closer, holding up a finger but not pointing it at you.

"First of all, I am not good at every fucking thing I do - you're thinking about Jeongguk." Your eye roll doesn't stop him from pressing on and lifting another finger.

“Second of all, who drove home and who took the bus? And third of all," he emphasizes, adding one more finger. "What we’re not about to do is create our worth out of our accomplishments or lack thereof and then compare it to our value in this relationship.”

He’s right. He’s so right and so insightful and you should acknowledge that. But the insecurities prevail. You sink into yourself, making you as small as you feel.

“I’m not good enough for them, so how am I any good for you?” His eyes narrow, lips pulling in as he stares at you pensively.

“I don’t like where your head is at, baby. You’re projecting.”

He’s always so gentle when he calls you out. Since you started dating, you’ve struggled with feeling less than because you’re in a relationship with an idol, but Namjoon reminds you that it’s only a narrative you've created since he’s never personally given you a reason to feel that way and he never will. But you still have so many doubts.

“I’m just scared that one day you’ll lose interest because I can’t do things right.”

His mouth opens and closes, and you realize that you’ve made this man who’s always articulate and always knows what to say speechless.

How many more things can you ruin?

Before he can figure out even a single word in response, you twist around, turning your back on him to quickly shuffle up the stairs and into your bedroom, slamming the door shut.

You press your back against it, sliding down to the floor, chest caving in and heart trying to thud its way out of it, choking you in the process.

Everything that you’ve been locking away, pushing down and hiding flees to the forefront of your previously blank mind and attacks.

Not good. Not enough. You’ll always fail. You’ll always be a let down. A disappointment. A fuck up.

The list goes on and on and you can’t stop it, like a train on an endless track that won’t run out of steam.

Three soft knocks on the door plunge into the thoughts that you’re drowning in, guiding you to the surface.

“Baby, let me in,” he urges, deep voice traveling right through the door and washing down over your aching head. “Let me be there for you. Please. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

You want to sink, you want to go back down to the bottom and never come up again, but he’s right here with his hand held out ready to pull you into respite, sheltering you in his embrace.

If you sink, if you push him away now, if you lose him -

Your hand is on the knob before you can consider any consequences of that. On your knees, you open the door, and the sight of Namjoon’s face, wrought with alarm, level with yours on the other side because he’s waiting there for you on his knees. And you burst into tears, spluttering out an apology as you curl into yourself and he carefully opens the door enough to crawl towards you, hands splayed in invitation for you to sink into him instead.

“Baby, it’s okay,” he whispers, strong arms wrapping around you.

“I’m sorry I’m such a failure,” you sob into his neck.

“Oh, sweetheart. You’re not a failure.” Namjoon never lies, you know this, but the relentless gremlins in your mind try to convince you otherwise. It’ll hurt him if you try to counter his words, so you just cry. And he lets you, cloaking you in a remedying hug with your fingers ensnared in his shirt, tears creating dark patches in the soft fabric.

You cry until you’re exhausted, until your mouth is dry, throat sore, stomach aching. As you start to calm down because there aren’t any tears left, Namjoon stays still against the door frame, comforting you with gentle, slow rubs of your back, keeping you close to him while you sniffle.

“If you want to use my shirt as a tissue, I won’t say anything.”

The laugh that elicits is wet and choked, but it takes some pressure off of your chest. “Ew, gross.”

“We’ve done grosser things.” Sweater paw under your nose, you weakly push at his chest and he just wiggles his eyebrows, grins his dimpled grin and kisses your temple.

“D’you want some water?” he asks, lips still pressed to your skin. You nod, warmth from the effects of his care radiating through your anxiety.

After he guides you both to stand, he heads back downstairs to the kitchen to retrieve a glass, giving you the opportunity to collect yourself, although the gremlins still torture the recesses of your mind. When he returns and hands over the water, he wipes off droplets that reside on your lips once you finish drinking. You can see in his eyes that he wants nothing more than to pick apart your mindset, but he won’t until you open up the floor.

Your partner waits quietly on the bed while you undress and trudge into the bathroom to shower. He’s still there on the edge when you emerge, head raising from his phone at the sound of your footsteps padding on the carpet, a smile resonating on his face that doesn’t expect one in return.

“I ordered food,” he announces as you cross the room for the dresser. “From that restaurant across town? Y’know the one where-”

“-we met after you burned your fingers on the hotpot grill like you didn’t have a whole set of tongs? Yeah, I know the one.”

You haven’t been there in a long time, but it was where you and Namjoon began.

Back when you worked as a server scrambling to pay tuition debts, before the band came to be the phenomenon they are now, Namjoon and the guys came into the restaurant after late night rehearsals and studio sessions. You waited on them in fleeting moments, but never got the chance to exchange more than a few words until Yoongi made the drunken mistake of handing Namjoon the tongs to turn the meat and he just used his fingers instead.

It wasn’t too bad, but the burn couldn’t wait until he got home to be treated, so you brought him into the back to run his hand under cool water and he took the awkward silence to introduce himself. He stumbled over his words and it was clumsy and cute and he made you laugh while you held his wrist and wrapped a wet wad of paper towels around his fingers.

After that, he started coming by on his own. Late at night for dinner, a drink or two, to just sit at the bar and strike up conversation whenever you had a minute to stand still or do side work. You quickly learned that Namjoon is extremely intelligent, sometimes beyond your understanding, and he often ranted and went off on tangents on books he was reading, topics he was curious about, music he was working on, but never in a way that made you feel lost in the conversation. He got so amped up that you found yourself getting interested in what he was interested in. You would go home or to a bookstore and do your own research that you’d bring back and share with him at your next shift. He always seemed touched in a way and eventually got excited just to see you.

And when you talked, this man listened, intently, to every word. Leaning forward, arms crossed on the counter, eyes locked on you with the occasional nod and smile to show you he was present. He also chimed in to share his thoughts or narratives he related to, but never in a way that took the focus off of you, smiled whenever you got excited talking about your goals and things that made you get out of bed in the morning, and not once did he interrupt you. The way he spoke and carried himself, the way he paid attention to you and made it so simple and natural to have a stimulating conversation… It was hard not to fall for him.

But he was on the road to becoming an idol, and you were a few years late in getting your bachelor’s degree. You liked him and you were pretty sure the feeling was mutual, but… Were you really compatible? You might’ve been putting him on a pedestal because of the sheer talent and brilliance he had in just a single pinkie, but you felt you were just lacking in a lot of places and you could never measure up to him.

So you kept your feelings to yourself, but it was impossible to keep them from growing or stay away from him.

There were some nights where he just sat in a booth tucked away in the corner, hardly touching his food, just staring at blank pages of his journal with a deep set frown. You tried asking him what was wrong but all he could say was that their recent album drop wasn’t getting the kind of reception he’d hoped for. You could tell there was more to it than that but you didn’t want to press him.

So after your shift, you listened to the entire album and spent hours writing your reactions and feelings and personal connections to each song, and tucked the folded pages under his bowl the next night. You went back to work, nervously glancing at him reading through your notes and debating if you should leave him alone or check to see what he thought. But by the time you had a moment to spare after the rush, his table was vacant and clear, except for a napkin that read in his recognizable scrawl, “Thank you” with an etching of a tiny smiling koala.

Soon he was back to his old, chipper self and during a late shift in the rainy spring, he sat in that same booth, attention buried in a journal as he scribbled away at lyrics, and you let him be until it was time to close up. When you came over to gently inform him that it was late, he jerked, head snapping up like you just withdrew him from another world. After checking the time on his watch, he apologized, scrambling to pack up his things only to forget to zip his bag closed so everything flew out and scattered onto the floor. He stuttered out more clumsy apologies to which you just shook your head and squatted down to help gather his things. You tried to keep your nosiness to a minimum, but it was hard when all of his prose brought to life by his pretty handwriting beckoned you on every page.

“You can read it. I don’t mind.”

“Oh, I couldn’t,” you declined, holding out the pages. “I know how private you are about your music.”

He blinked at you with a soft smile. “I trust you.”

And for the next couple of hours, you sat across from him in the booth, marveling over the passionate rhetoric he wove into every articulate and carefully chosen lyric that spun beautiful messages and stories, you couldn’t fathom how phenomenal it would sound put to genius melodies and beats.

“Wow, you’re-” you paused. It’s hard to find a single word to describe him. “A virtuoso. Truly.”

“Thank you,” he murmured, a gentle smile on his face that brought forth his dimples.

“No, thank you for sharing all this with me,” you emphasized, stacking all of his papers and sliding them back to him.

He nodded, tucking the pile in his bag. A tranquil silence settled between you, clearly there was more you wanted to say to each other but neither of you could find the nerve.

The dark street outside suddenly flashed under a bright strike of lightning, and the windows shook from the consequential rumble of thunder. Rain collapsed from the sky and you watched Namjoon stare at the torrential downpour with a frown.

You checked your phone. “Oh, shit! I didn’t realize how late it was. I’m sorry I kept you here so long.”

“You didn’t,” he shook his head. “I enjoyed… this. Talking with you about my music."

“Me too. I just have to finish locking up.”

He smiled. “I’ll wait for you.”

Blushing, you thanked him and slid out of the booth to quickly turn off the lights, grab your things and head back towards Namjoon where he was standing by the door, hoodie pulled over his bag.

Outside under the awning you asked, “Where’s your car?”

Sheepish look on his face, he lifted his arm and you followed the direction he was pointing in, squinting through the blur of the rain to a signpost and the bike leaning against it, a lock securing it there. So that’s why he didn’t look too fond of the rain.

“I don’t have a license.”

“Oh. Well, since it’s raining, I could give you a ride home, if you want.”

“I can’t just leave it here.”

“We can stick it next to the walk-in. I’ll let my boss know and you can just come get it tomorrow.”

“You sure?”

Nodding, you gestured for him to jog alongside him to his bike, and as the rain soaked through your clothes, he fumbled for his keys to unlock it. After sticking it in the back and locking up, you both ran back to your beatdown car, his hand hovering above your head like a makeshift umbrella.

“I appreciate you giving me a ride,” he murmured once you both slid into your beat down car.

“Of course,” you smiled, fiddling with the controls to adjust the temperature.

“I can give you gas money.”

“No, it’s fine. You’re on my way home,” you lied. (The first time Namjoon came over, in the midst of tearing each other’s clothes off, he mumbled against your lips, “I just thought about it. My dorm is in the opposite direction of where you live.” You got shy and hid your face in his neck. “I just wanted to drive you home, Joon.” He proceeded to kiss his adoration and appreciation all over you, tangled under your sheets where he fucked you until the birds started chirping under the wakening sky.)

When you dropped him off, he lingered in the car for a bit, long fingers tapping on the handle, like he was thinking of reasons not to leave and you were sitting there hoping he wouldn’t find one.

But then he got the inevitable texts from his managers and bandmates asking for his whereabouts, so he had no choice but thank you again for the ride and bid you goodnight, requesting that you message him when you got home.

“I’d be happy to,” you replied, pulse skyrocketing. “But I’m missing something.”

“What?”

“Your number?”

“Oh!” He laughed at himself as he smacked his pockets for his phone, and you chuckled nervously when he passed it over and created your contact.

You were vibrating at the thought of being able to text him whenever you wanted, instead of waiting until your next shift to tell him all of the things you read, saw, and heard that reminded you of him.

He had his phone with your number in it, but still lingered.

“I think I’m missing something too,” he said with rapid taps on his knee.

“Yeah? What’s that?”

After taking a few shallow breaths, he glanced at you and whispered, “Can I kiss you?”

Biting your lip to hide your giddy smile, you nodded and leaned over the console where he met you halfway in a moment that you wish could’ve been frozen in time.

You’ve heard the cliche that fireworks go off when you kiss that one person, but when you kissed Namjoon - everything was finally at peace. The epitome of “no thoughts, head empty” as his plush lips molded with yours while the rain drummed on your car, but in the way that his hands on your cheeks holding you in place gave you all the answers of the universe.

You wanted to climb into his lap and kiss him until the storm passed but his phone kept buzzing in his lap.

“You should go,” you mumbled, lips still attached. “Before they send out a search and rescue team.”

He kissed you again before pulling back, disappointed. “I’ll text you.”

“Okay.”

You fell asleep that night to the image of his blinding dimpled smile and the lasting taste of his kiss.

For weeks after that, he texted you throughout the day - pictures of the sky on his morning bikes to work, fresh blossoms on trees, snippets of text from books he read in his spare time, and the occasional selfie that you secretly saved along with everything else.

He still came to the restaurant during his usual time in the late evenings, but he sometimes snuck in from the alleyway to steal messy kisses and hugs that knocked the wind out of you, leaving you with a stupid smile on your face that lasted even through the busiest of rushes.

It became less easy to forget the separate worlds you both came from, when Namjoon sat in that booth and snuck glances and smiles at you to escape from his budding idolhood, to feel some reprieve from the stresses of album drops and industry critics and interviews and music video shoots and the responsibilities of leading a band through the hurdles of success because he told you all about it.

And you listened over bowls of hotpot (meat that you grilled) and banchan, silently worrying if he took on more than he could handle. Because you’d been in that position many times and knew how easy it was to fall apart under all the pressure, to a point where it was a painful struggle to get back up. But this was Namjoon - strong and passionate and willing to take charge of things so his bandmates didn’t have to shoulder the stress, something you deeply admired him for.

Whenever you gave him encouraging words, he peered at you with serenity in his eyes and an equally calm smile, always thanking you and seeming like he had more to say but never did.

That was until one night when he raced in, past your boss who had long given up yelling at him ‘no customers in the back’, to where you were putting away dishes. You wiped your hands on your apron and turned to him, taking in his state - absolutely disheveled, out of breath, shirt on backwards and inside out. Just as you began to ask “Why run when you can bike?” he blurted “Will you date me?”

Stilling completely, your heart started running faster than he probably just was. “You rushed in here to ask me out?”

“I’m late to rehearsal, and I might not get to see you in the next couple of weeks.”

“You could’ve called me,” you suggested even though your knees were about to give out. “Or waited until next time.”

He shook his head. “I couldn’t wait anymore. And this wouldn’t feel right if not done in person.”

Peering out of the kitchen to make sure your boss was busy on the floor, you took Namjoon’s hand and led him out into the alley where you shared your first kiss as a couple under the flickering security lamp with moths dancing all around it.

“This whole time I’ve been wanting to ask you out but I’ve just been scared and you-” he huffed nervously. “You make me so nervous.”

This man who stood and danced in front of crowds performing songs he had a part in creating got nervous around you? When all you did was barely make it through your classes and drag your tired ass to work every night.

“I make you nervous? Dude, I get heart palpitations whenever you come around.”

“Same!” You both laughed and kissed again, and he backed you into the brick wall with your arms wrapped around his neck.

He kissed you for what felt like hours until that inevitable buzzing returned, making you both internally sigh.

“Hobi’s gonna fight me in the parking lot if I show up late again.”

“Yeah, my boss might come out here and chase you off with a broom if I don’t get back in there soon.”

He chuckled breathlessly, leaning in to kiss you a few more times, and then rested his forehead on yours, whispering “I don’t want to go.”

“Hurry up before the guys start placing bets on Hobi.”

“Hey!”

Grinning, you tipped up to kiss him goodbye. “I’ll wager some of my minimum wage check on you.”

“No,” he huffed, shoulders heaving dramatically. “I can’t let you lose money.”

Kissing you once more, he turned, fingers still tangled in yours, and it was only then that you realized he wasn’t just holding your hand and kissing you in the alley as Namjoon, but as your Namjoon, your boyfriend(?), because he asked you to make things official and you said yes and he looked happy and it made you happy and that’s all you want but who knows if this’ll last because you’re both going in different directions and he’s making himself known on music charts while you’re barely scraping by and-

Your shaking hand refusing to let go of him forced him to turn back around, beautiful smile faltering when he detected the turmoil swimming on your face. “Wait, you okay?”

You swallowed with an uneasy smile. “You should get going.”

“They'll get over it,” he said, stepping in front of you again and taking both your hands. “Tell me.”

“Are you sure? About this?” You whispered unsteadily, anxiety speaking for you. His eyebrows scrunched. “I’m just a server. And you’re gonna be a huge star.”

“Hey, you’re not just a server. Big things are gonna happen for you too.”

Doubt is an ugly, fickle thing. But then he said this, one hand over his heart:

“I see a dream in you. I see my dream in you.”

And that’s when you knew - you love Kim Namjoon. He indirectly told you the same in messages he sent after he finally got to work.

Just so you know, I owe you credit for a lot of songs I’ve been writing lately received from ‘🐨❣️’

Oh, really? Do I get any royalties? sent to ‘🐨❣️’

You could received from ‘🐨❣️’

I’m kidding, I don’t want your hard earned money sent to ‘🐨❣️’

I’ll just take you out on really nice dates received from ‘🐨❣️’

That sounds fair sent to ‘🐨❣️’

Two hours later, he sent you a picture of a dark parking lot with the caption “wish me luck” and you laughed throughout your entire break.

The rest was history.

Namjoon soared just like you predicted, and you stayed on the ground, waiting for him, loving him through all the ups and downs of fame and fortune. You wouldn’t change that for the world, but it’s hard not to feel stagnant, like you’re in a still pond with not a breath of wind around to propel you anywhere other than the dormant, muddy leaf that hasn’t made a ripple in ages.

When you graduated, he was on tour, but luckily your school live-streamed the event, so you received a shaky video of a laptop displaying you walking across the stage and accepting your diploma with seven voices whooping and cheering you on, Namjoon being the loudest.

You still have that clip saved in your camera roll, but sometimes you wish he could’ve been there in person. Don’t dwell on what you can’t change. But you did dwell on the things that prevented you from navigating your relationship as a “normal” couple.

Like when his company makes you sign a new NDA every couple of years. Or when Namjoon puts stickers over your face whenever he posts pictures of the two of you on his Instagram. You’re aware that it's to protect your privacy, but maybe if you were somebody, he wouldn’t have to hide you as much.

Would you ever do anything to achieve his kind of acclaim? You could dream all you wanted, but hard work and dedication doesn’t always mean the dream is right for you.

This million and oneth rejection is just the final straw to firmly convince you that that is the ultimate truth.

“You’re thinking real loud over there,” his amber timbre ruptures your warp back in time, snapping you to the present, still standing in front of the dresser.

You refuse to look over to acknowledge that he spoke, so you don’t risk catching a glimpse of your reflection in the vanity mirror. You probably look so dreary. Scrubbing at your face with exfoliant and moisturizer did nothing to get rid of the dullness.

“I’m listening if you want to share.”

That numb throb is taking root again, sealing shut your ability to talk, so you just shrug and expect him to drop it. As you change into pajamas, the bed creaks and his feet shuffle on the carpet, and your heart shrinks when you predict he’s going to leave you alone but instead he traipses over to stand behind you, hands on your shoulders, head ducked next to your ear, and quietly murmurs your name.

“Can I touch you?”

When you slowly nod, he gently folds his hands over your shoulders, and you nearly collapse under his warm, grounding touch.

“What do you think I see when I see you?”

Your frown deepens. “You won’t like my answer.”

Soft huff bristling your ear, his hands slowly rub up and down your arms.

“I’ll tell you one thing -“ he kisses the crook of your neck. “It’s not that rejection. Or any of those flaws you think you have.”

Your eyes close with the threat of tears when his fingers wrap around your wrists and move your arms so that you hug yourself, his strong biceps solidifying it.

“I just see the person who’s my pride and my desire no matter what. Someone I’m damn lucky to love.”

Your heart bursts but it’s so weighed down by self-made fallacies that it sinks instead of soars.

“But I’m a nobody compared to you.”

“Hey, don’t say that shit!” he exclaims, turning you to face him. “Why do you think that about yourself? ”

You gesture between you, pain in the movement and under your skin. “Because look at all that you’ve done and the little I’ve done and-”

“Stop.” He holds a hand in the air, tick in his jaw. “Stop comparing yourself to me and anyone else. I don’t see you or value you based on what you’ve accomplished. Win or lose, I love you. That will never change.”

HIs shoulders deflate when your expression doesn’t change. “After all these years, you still don’t believe that?”

Disappointing, you’re disappointing him again. “Baby, all the times you’ve stuck by me, you think I won’t do the same for you? You were there when people mocked us, criticized us and our music, my music. All the times we talked about disbanding, about giving up and going our separate ways, you promised to stay right there with me. All the times I felt like a failure, like I didn’t deserve all of the grace you and the fans gave me, you made sure I believed I did.”

Warm palm slipping under your hand, he looks down at the promise ring he gifted you for your 5th anniversary that matches the one he wears on his index finger, but has the habit of switching it to his ring finger, where you wear yours.

“You know how I feel about making music for a living and being an idol, that it means the world to me, but there are so many moments I spend wishing I could go back to the time before all the fame where we could kiss in that alley and not risk getting caught. What I’ve built my life up to be has put limits on how I can express my affection for you. I would give anything to show you off everywhere I go and hold your hand in public without exposing you to repercussions but it’s made me feel safe to keep our love preserved just between us.”

His dimples poke out at the corner of his frown and the clench in his jaw, knit between his brows, and erratic blinking give way that he’s been holding something back and now he’s going to let it show.

“I’ve been terrified that one day you’ll get fed up with me having to be away a lot, missing anniversaries and birthdays because I’m on tour and all I can do is video chat. That’s why I bombard you with messages about how much I miss you, why I send you selfies and pictures of the sunset, books I think we should read, poems and music that make me think of you, so you know that you’re always on my mind and you don’t forget how much I love you.”

You see the fear swelling in his eyes - fear that you’ve somehow missed or he hid too well and now you worry just how much pain you’ve been keeping from each other because the insecurities don’t feel worthy enough to share.

Your resolve cracks. Have you been blind this whole time to his doubts, his insecurities, too caught up in your own to realize that he worries that he might not be enough for you?

“No,” you assert, flinging your arms around his neck, pulling him against you as tears teeter over your waterline. “I could never forget that. Ever.”

“I couldn’t stop loving you even if I tried,” he murmurs, large hands splaying over your spine to press you closer.

“Me either,” you whisper, more tears staining his shirt. Both of you start to softly sniffle against each other, so he pulls back, thumbs away your wobbling frown and before you can completely lose it at the sight of tears in his eyes, he leads you to the bed, sitting you down and enveloping you in a solid hug.

Burying your face in his chest, you feel the full extent of his deep sigh and the vibrations of his resonant voice as he speaks his sage words.

“It sucks that you didn’t get to reap the rewards for something you worked so hard for, but isn’t that an accomplishment in itself? That you keep trying and making a genuine effort? You’re always so determined and I know someone will see it, because I see it. Your friends, the boys, we all see it. And one day, you’ll see it too.”

“What if I’m shit at what I do?”

His nostrils flare as he exhales. “Sweetheart, if I thought you were shit, I’d tell you.”

You splutter a laugh. “I mean, in a better way because I love you, but I wouldn’t be so proud and encouraging of everything you work towards and dream about if I thought you sucked. I don’t encourage delulus.”

“Delulus?”

“Because my love for you is built on the foundation of honesty and trust and loyalty and lust and-“

“Way to throw that in there.”

He takes your hands and folds them against his chest, trapping you under the honey in his eyes that will always make you melt.

“You’re my person, you’re my desire, you’re my pride,” he sings off key.

“And-” his eyes flash as he takes a deep breath through a wide, dimpled smile. “You make I to an O-“

“Joon!” You squeal, lunging to playfully cover his mouth and keep him from performing another cheesy rendition of the song he wrote about you.

“I to an O!” And then he raps and sings the rest of the verses, closing his eyes as he focuses while holding your wrists to keep your hands away from his face.

He doesn’t stop even as you move against him so he walks backwards and falls down on the bed, using your fist as a microphone as you lay across him, failing to stop his one man show. You suppose it’s okay when you fail at some things.

Resting your head on his chest as he continues this private performance, warmth from his affection and proof of his love for you clears away the cobwebs of all of your doubt that he could ever give up on you. You smile at his heartbeat thudding beneath your ear. And just like the first time you kissed him, you feel at peace.

“That was good, right?” he asks breathlessly after you applaud his finish.

“10 out of 10!” Laughing at your enthusiasm, he dips down to kiss your forehead and then dramatically collapses on the mattress, claiming he needs a nap.

“You’re my pride and desire too, Joon,” you murmur after a few moments of silence, tracing shapes over his sturdy chest. He tugs you further up until you’re breathing into his neck, sending shivers across your skin with light trails of his fingers up and down your back.

“I’m sorry I convinced myself that you wouldn’t stay with me no matter what. I’m going to work on not projecting how I feel onto you.”

His fingers creep between yours, linking them together. “I’ll be there to support you in any way you need me too.”

“And I’m sorry I made you worry tonight."

He hums. “I get that you need your space, but just text me or something next time. I would like to know that you plan on coming back home.”

You lift your head, eyes pouring into his filling with promise.

“I’ll always come back to you, Joon.”

He smiles, places a finger on your jaw to tilt up your head and kiss you tenderly.

The food comes and you sit together on the living room floor, the nostalgic aroma and taste bringing you back to the first and last time you fell in love.

Later, in the group chat, you ask the boys whether they’d tell you if you sucked at what you do.

Bluntly received from 'yoongi :]'

To your face With love and respect received from 'wwhandsome 😘'

Obviously received from 'yoongi :]'

Did someone say you sucked? Who said it! I’ll fight them received from 'jimin-ssiiii'

I’m putting on my bitch stomping boots received from 'jaykayyyy'

We ride at dawn received from 'hobi hobi'

It doesn’t matter if you’re good at something as long as you enjoy it But no, you don’t suck if someone said you do they’re lying Also who’s driving received from 'taebear'

Not Namjoon 😂😂😂 received from 'wwhandsome 😘'

There are bikes that could seat all 8 of us!!! *open attachment* received from ‘🐨❣️’

Never in a million years would I get on a contraption like that received from 'yoongi :]'

True you don't even get on a regular bike received from 'jimin-ssiiii'

🖕 received from 'yoongi :]'

Boom roasted received from 'hobi hobi'

save me playlist

conclusions aren’t my strong suit so bleh and i didn't really proofread when i finished. anyway thanks for reading! i hope it didn't come off as too self-indulgent… i started writing this months ago and i debated on whether or not to post it but bringing forth this namjoon comforted me and i wanted to share it.

also aqua wrote tae's message in the chat so i wanted to make sure to give her credit!! thanks again bby <33333

(was that an office reference at the end lol whoops)

#namjoon oneshot #namjoon x you #namjoon x gn reader #namjoon x reader #namjoon fluff #namjoon fic #namjoon angst #namjoon fanfic #Spotify

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just--vi · 1 year ago

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2023 in fanfic!!

i wrote my first full fanfic in 2023 after coming back to fandom after a long hiatus. in all i've written over 240,000 words which is just nuts. it made me some incredible friends and incredible mutuals who i hope to turn into friends. i started with the loves of my life (wolfstar!!) and discovered some new loves (jegulus has the key to my heart) and came up with a million future fic ideas

goals for 2024 include: write something that isn't a muggle au, convince everyone to ship moonchaser (jk... or am i), write more smutty one shots, read more!!! (gimme your best recs)

if you'd like to see what i've written, click below...

love by the seaside - april 23 / august 23

Remus is an artist who, after a particularly messy breakup, finds himself drawn to the Cornish coast. His fresh start is disrupted, however, when he meets someone who reminds him an awful lot of his ex-boyfriend. (multi-chapter, complete, 42,126 words, wolfstar with background jily)

you're losing me - may 23

Although they're desperate not to, Remus and Sirius just can't quite keep from falling apart. (one-shot | 3,898 | wolfstar | canon compliant)

young blood - may 23 / november 23

After Regulus spends a difficult year alone with their parents, Sirius convinces him to spend his last summer before college on a road trip with him and his closest friends. The very last thing he's expecting is for his feelings for Sirius' best friend to resurface with a vengeance (and he certainly isn't expecting them to be returned). As it turns out, he and James aren't the only ones dealing with complicated emotions. Sirius has just returned from a year long trip abroad and Remus is having a difficult reconciling with just how much he's missed him. Or, a coming of age road trip AU full of angst, fluff, healing family trauma and navigating old feelings. (multi-chapter | complete | 71,029 words)

a weekend at crystal lake - october 23 / october 23

A group of recent college graduates set off to a cabin in the woods for one last hurrah before going their separate ways. As the weekend goes on, it becomes increasingly clear that they aren't alone out there. This is horror-themed AU featuring our favourite Marauders where (almost) everyone dies. This is a fic written for Halloween, with scheduled weekly (sometimes twice weekly) updates until October 31st. Enjoy! It's basically angst and smut with a little bit of fluff as a treat. (multi-chapter | complete | 24,166 words)

under the glow of neon lights - november 23

Pure smut. Regulus, Remus, and James fuck in a dingy club bathroom (and then carry on fucking at home xo). (one-shot | 4,429 words | remus x regulus x james)

the weather outside is frightful - december 23 / december 23

James takes it upon himself to drag Regulus home for Christmas and an unexpected snow storm rolls in, stranding them together over the holiday with no lights, no power, and no heat. (multi-chapter | 15,726 | jegulus )

for the love of ducks - september 23 / present

Remus Lupin has always been sick, and he'd just like to feel normal for once. Sirius Black seems like the perfect man with a perfect, exciting life. (multi-chapter | ongoing | wolfstar with background jily)

where the light gets in - july 23 / present

Remus Lupin splits from the Marauders after a bitter feud with frontman Sirius Black; Famous brothers Sirius and Regulus Black haven't set foot in the same room in seven years; Marlene McKinnon and Dorcas Meadowes enter a rivalry for the ages… at least, that’s the media’s side of the story. Scandal, heartbreak, and bitter rivalries. But how much truth is there to the rumours? (multi-chapter | ongoing | wolfstar, jegulus, dorlene centric)

the little blue house on main street - november 23 / present

A coming of age university AU in which Regulus Black struggles to navigate his feelings for his brother's best friend, Sirius Black struggles to navigate his sexuality, and the whole lot of them struggle to navigate growing up. (multi-chapter | ongoing | wolfstar, jegulus, pandalily/marylily)

#wolfstar #jegulus #fanfic #dorlene #pandalily #marylily #fics #2023 fanfiction summary #can't wait to read everyone else's summaries #everyone post yours i want to see #viwrites

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taintandviolent · 1 month ago

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be my woman, girl ; Remmick x reader

summary: As a lonely woman whose prayers are going unanswered, you prayed for something to take away your hurt. This time, something answers.

word count & w a r n i n g s: 2.6K | female reader, vampires, brief religious themes (praying, mention of God), spit kink, spit as a major aphrodisiac, dub-con if you tilt your head and look at it the right way, vampire sex, monsterfucking, fingering, unprotected sex, p in v, biting, blood mention, blood drinking and loss, I guess it's implied virgin!reader (though it isn't focused on).

a/n: just a quick lil somethin' somethin', but it is HEAVILY inspired by Nosferatu, and the vibe of this song. sorry that - spoiler alert - the vampire bites reader in every fic I write about them, I literally cannot stop myself from doing it. not beta-read, as per usual. dividers by @/v6que and @/adornedwithlight! PS: Thank you so much for all the love on my previous Remmick fic, you guys are such darlings!

↓ fic under cut! ↓ / ao3 link here! / I don’t have a taglist anymore, but please turn on post notifications if you’d like to be notified of future fics!

The house is quiet aside from the occassional creak or whine; wood panels shift against each other, moaning low like your grandparents as they sat in a chair. Houses breathed every now and then — never scared you any.

Unlike everyone else, you're wide awake. Though your room is dark, the dreams haven't come for you. Pale, blue moonlight washes your features as you stand in front of the window, looking out into the front yard. There's nothing, no one.

That's just it… no one.

Your head hangs heavy, burdened by the aching, stinging loneliness that you felt.

No one for you, ever.

Hell, even your sister had found someone this past spring. Everyone always said you'd get married first 'cause you were the pretty one of the two. But you hadn't. Men didn't flirt with you, they just passed you by, as casual as can be. People shushed your worries by saying that God works in mysterious ways, when the time is right, can't rush love, and so on. None of those trivial phrases helped you any, you were still alone at the close of every night. So you'd pray. Just like you did every night. You looked up into that sky and prayed your heart out, prayed until you were blue in the face.

You thumb the latch to unlock it and with a small vocalization, push the window up. The sheer curtains flutter delicately, like ghosts in the breeze. The night air floods in, bathing your face and neck in it and you sink softly to your knees, resting your elbows on the wood of the sill. Your hands are clasped tightly together — as tight as you can — and you press your fists against your mouth for a moment as the tears well up in your eyes.

"Please," you beg, speaking against your own fingers. "I am so lonely. I can't bear it any longer. My heart aches somethin' awful..."

You sniff, and lift your eyes to the moon in all her luminous glory, hot tears streaming down your cheeks. "If there's anyone out there… take away my sufferin', take away my pain. I am beggin' you."

You hold your breath, waiting. You're acutely aware of all the sounds; a breeze flutters through the tall grasses and the old trees on your daddy's property, the branches creak loudly against each other, a twig snaps somewhere in the distance. Pricks of light flitter across the forest. An animal, probably. You see them every night.

"Please, come to me." Spoken through tears and snot. "I'm beggin'."

Still shrouded in the shadows of the forest, two of the pinpricks of light stop in the foot-trodden pathway to your front door. You clumsily wipe your tears away with the back of your hand and lean forward out of the window, trying to focus on the fuzzy darkness. They look like eyes, of a coyote or something similar, but you didn't notice until now that the figure seems taller than that, on account of where the eyes are.

You blink.

They blink back before they grow closer, carried on upright steps.

You gasp. Shocked by your own noise, your hand flies to your mouth as though it'll muffle the breathing. You duck back inside the window and fall backwards, catching yourself on your hands. There's a funny feeling roiling in your stomach, like a pit of wet snakes, slippin' and slidin' around in your gut.

From this angle, you can't see the reflective gaze anymore, but the curtains still flutter, seeming to whisper to you, calling your name in a tone that only you can hear. You scoot back, dragging your body along the floorboards until your back hits the bed post, and keeping your gaze locked on the window, you awkwardly crawl up into the bed, twisting your body in a way that doesn't disrupt your line of sight. You slither underneath the covers, pulling them up to your neck like a frightened child.

The window's still open… but you're too afraid to get up again, 'cause maybe those eyes would still be staring right at you. So, you nestle yourself deeper under the covers and stare at that window until your lids get heavy. Eventually, though you don't know how long it takes, you drift off to sleep.

The dreams start as soon as your body settles, as soon as your limp hand falls off the side of the bed, fingertips pointing towards the floor. A shadowed figure stands at the edge of your bed, his hand extended. His fingers are long, tipped by claws that reach out to you and cast terrifying shadows on your bedsheets. Those same reflective eyes stare down at you, watching you tremble. He moves closer, the shadows crawling up the length of your bed until they're pressed down against you. There's nothing on top of you but shadows, and yet, you can't move, pinned in place by some unseen force.

You awake with a heave, a strangled cry that dies in your throat as soon as you're upright. Beads of sweat decorate your chest, and ribbon down into the confines of your nightgown, disappearing into the fabric. Your room is dark and cool, but that does little to bring down the temperature of your feverish body.

Downstairs, you think. It felt natural, like you'd thought it. You throw the covers off your body, and tiptoe to your bedroom door, careful of each barefoot step. You bite your lip and with a gentle pull, you twist the knob and pull it open, praying it doesn't squeak. It doesn't.

You pad carefully down the steps, avoiding the one that creaks, and make your way to the front door. Again, the night air greets you like an old, forgotten friend and you inhale.

Those reflective eyes are staring right at you through the screen door. You can see 'em, clear as day. A moth flutters past your line of sight. As you turn on the porch light, your bare toes tease the edge of the threshold.

"What… what do you want?" Your voice is hoarse, barely above a whisper.

You make a fist in your nightgown, digging your nails into the soft fabric. He takes another step and leaves the shadows behind, allowing the light to illuminate his handsome features. His head tilts slightly as he considers your question, and an assured smile crosses his face.

"Aww, darlin'. You. I'm here for you…" he says, sweet like honey.

His accent is heavy and Southern, but something hides underneath it. You grip your nightgown tighter, suppressing a shudder that threatens to rip through your core. Something about him makes you wanna' step forward into the night, into his arms, but you resist. You shake your head, dislodging the lustful thoughts that try to take root in your brain.

He looks you up and down a few times before clicking his tongue in a disapproving way. You look down at yourself; sweat-soaked and dissheveled, your hair probably a mess, eyes swollen with sleep… God knows what else this man saw. Smelled. Understood.

"You poor thing… Ain't you tired, baby? Tired of screamin' and cryin' for a God that don't listen?"

You were.

"You called," he drawls. "I came."

He did.

He shoulders the door frame, leaning against it, peering at you through the mesh screen. You take a step back, and shake your head again, like a child shaking off her bad dreams. He runs a single finger along the edge of the screen, sharp nail scraping across the mesh with a barely audible tick tick tick. You understand now.

Quickly, but quietly, you push the door shut with a flattened palm. Maybe you were still dreaming. There. All better. Because really… what kinda' prayer is answered in the middle of the night? You hurry back through the darkened house, up the stairs and back into your room. For a moment, you listen in the hallway for sounds of stirring.

Satisfied that everyone's still sleeping, you turn around, leaning your back into the door gently. As soon as your eyes focus again, your muscles tense up and go rigid like steel. You slap your hand over your mouth, muffling the yelp that claws its way up your throat. You reel back, pressing yourself tightly against the door, like you could melt back through it.

Your eyes scrape tenatively along the floorboards, crawling up the elongated shadow of a man until you get to the figure that owns it. That same man leans against your window in a casual, relaxed position.

Be brave, girl.

"How'd you get in here?" You hiss, looking back at your bedroom door. "I ain't said you could—"

He lifts up a single finger, waving it back and forth, effectively shushing you. "Ohhh, you sure did, darlin'."

Remmick clears his throat theatrically, and falls forward to his knees. All at once, his nonchalant expression contorts into one of pain, of longing, of desperation, as he crawls towards you, frowning. "Please come to me…" he mocks in a higher tone, clutching his hands at his chest. "I'm beggin'…"

The realization feels heavy, your jaw hanging slack as you hear him. The world seems to lose its color around you, the floor drags you down by the hem of your gown. You sink to the wood, your ass hitting it with a soft thud. I called him.

His hands drops away from his chest as he knee-walks closer to you, reaching out to sweep your hair away from your temple. "Don't you fret now, ain't no sense in that. Remmick's gonna' make that hurt go away."

Remmick? Was that his name? When you give a devil a name, does it make him less terrifying?

As Remmick crawls over your body, you flatten against the floor, trying to shrink yourself away from him. He throws one knee up and over your hips, pinning you in place with his own. The sensation is intoxicating, and you feel damp heat pool between your thighs. He smiles, savoring the look of you beneath him, soft and supple, pretty and vulnerable.

Somewhere, you were scared. That somewhere that was too far away because your cunt, hot and aching, betrays you, clenching deeply at the feeling of a man on top of you — his weight felt like a blessing, like the long-awaited answer to a prayer. You writhe out of instinct though, clinging to some pure ideal, one that makes the corner of Remmick's lip hitch up in a snarl like he's smelled something foul. His teeth glint in the moonlight, pricks of jagged white amongst the darkness of his mouth.

"Y'got whatcha' asked fer'… don't go and be ungrateful now."

Lightning fast, Remmick's hand lurches out, pinching the sides of your mouth, forcing it open. He holds it there, while his own mouth opens, a stream of thick saliva stretching from his tongue. As it descends, you want to convulse and rip your head away, but with a clawed grip, he holds your head in place. It hits your tongue, dripping towards your throat. A warmth, a comfort, settles over your body, like the rays of sun kissing your body on a summer day, or slipping into a warm bath on a cool night. It's an all-enveloping feeling and you shudder, relaxing into the floor. Your body is no longer rigid, no longer fighting against him. Your legs part, hitching your nightgown up around your thighs in the process.

All you can do is look up into his glowing eyes, watching as the corners of his mouth curl up into a smile. Your back arches against his touch, his thumb brushing over the plumpness of your bottom lip. He smears his own saliva across your mouth. Onto your cheek. You smile lazily, and he nods encouragingly. "That's a-girl…"

With a little maneuvering, he slots himself between your thighs and his hands come down on either side of your neck. You feel his proximity, and whimper, angling your hips upward to grind against a rigidness you know is there, and Remmick lurches forward, sealing his lips to your neck.

He sucks at the skin, sucks until the flesh reddens, until it aches. The ache is a dull one, and even though you ought to stop him, you don't. Your hands find the nape of his neck, fingers sliding up through his dark hair, pulling him closer. He draws one hand down to free himself, and yank your panties to the side. You're no longer lonely, no longer sad. Lust claims your senses, without a care in the world.

Two fingers prod your entrance and you hitch your leg higher, allowing him more room. He sinks them in, breaching her, his thumb bumping into your swollen clit. Satisfied, he exhales above you, enamoured with the way your body sings back to him. With no hesitation, Remmick curves them deep within your cunt a few times, sending stars across your vision. As soon as you moan against the shell of his ear, he withdraws them and you feel him line himself up, the thick, velvet head pressing against the slit.

He's met with no resistance from your eager body, so Remmick sheaths himself inside your slick, waiting walls in one thrust. At first, there's heat as his cock stretches you wide, but your cunt adjusts, hungrily clenching around the shaft. His body undulates against yours, pressing tightly against your sweet, womanly figure as he thrusts, driving himself as deep as he can.

For a good few minutes, there's nothing but the sound of skin slapping against skin, feverish breaths and hushed moans. Remmick hums suddenly into your neck, pressing one tender kiss to the bruised flesh, reverently. He's still buried inside you, cock twitching with an impending release.

Breathily, he speaks as he strokes the side of your sweat-streaked face. "You asked fer' someone to take yer' sufferin' away and I'm gonna' do just that. I'm gonna' take away that hurt."

You whimper below him, a semblance of understanding of what's about to happen flashing across your darling features. "Shhh, this ain't gonna' sting but a second."

He leans in again, and you feel a flash of searing pain as fangs pierce your tender skin, drawing a gush of your sweet, cerise nectar out onto his tongue. Remmick groans at the coppery taste of your blood as it floods his mouth, and begins hungrily suckling at your neck, swallowing against the bleeding flesh. His hips find a new rhythm, and you feel your heartbeat pounding through your body — every inch of you seems to have a pulse — but he's right. It only hurts for a moment before you ease into the feeling, your body's natural defenses numbing the pain.

Now, the feeling drives you over the edge. Your vision darkens around the edges, throbbing between focused and blurry. You give a hard shiver as you spasm around his cock, coating him in slick arousal, and Remmick bucks his hips hard into your clenches, chasing his own release. With your hot blood clogging his throat, he asks of eternity, and you nod sleepily.

When he crashes down from that electric peak of pleasure, you feel dizzy. The sensation of being full claims you, wraps you up, and coddles you. Though, in your last moments, you can't mourn the loss of your precious life, you can't be sad… you'd asked for someone to take away your pain, your suffering, and for someone to come to you.

He'd heard you.

"Remmick," you say, drowsily.

He shushes you again with a clawed fingertip. You hear the dull thud of knuckles against a door. Your head lolls to the side, and Remmick straightens it out, leaving crimson fingerprints on your cheek before his weight leaves you.

The last thought you have is daddy, don't open that door.

But he does anyway.

Remmick is there to meet him.

#remmick x reader #remmick x you #remmick #remmick fanfic #remmick smut #vampires #x reader #reader insert #female reader #myfics #semi inspired by a request I got also

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deadtired-highkeyenergetic · 1 month ago

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Secret No More

Summary: The rest of the Thunderbolts* find out that you and Bucky are married.

"So…are they?"

"It definitely seems that way."

"But they could just be really good friends."

"They're far too close to be just really good friends."

You quietly laugh to yourself from the corner where you're hiding, slipping into the kitchen to grab a cup of coffee. All your morning blues have been lifted by the conversation you've accidentally stumbled on, and you couldn't be more grateful to the duo for it.

"They're definitely together. There's no way they aren't." A new voice sounds from the dining room where the conversation is happening. "Have you seen the way Bucky looks at them?"

"I'm sorry I don't stare at the Winter Soldier all day 24/7." You're pretty sure Ava rolled her eyes after that because John lets out a snort of annoyance.

"Careful." A low voice murmurs softly next to you, followed by the warmth of a familiar hand. "Wouldn't want them to find out you're eavesdropping just because you spilled hot coffee all over yourself, would we?"

"Hey Buck." You lean in to press a quick kiss to his cheek after checking that the coast is clear. "Want some?"

"Can't say no to good coffee this early in the morning." He takes a carton of milk from the fridge, pouring in just the right amount in your cup. You pour some coffee in his cup, pushing the packet containing today's beans at him so that he can read what flavours are in the dark liquid before adding sugar to his cup. Two teaspoons, like always. It used to be more but you've been trying to curb his sweet tooth so he's been sulking lately. You would pity the villains he's been fighting but he has been far more effective in bringing them down ever since you cut down his sugar intake so you're not complaining. However, because of that, Bucky has been more picky about what flavour of coffee he drinks, which has made your coffee bean shopping harder.

His arm gently brushes against yours as he takes his cup from you, giving you a soft smile before heading to the dining room , presumably to scare the living daylights out of the group gathered there. You decide to hang around the kitchen first and take stock of what supplies need to be bought, a good move judging from the commotion that's happening in the dining room right now.

"I wasn't informed about any team meeting today." You detect a hint of amusement in Bucky's voice.

"Bucky?!" John exclaims followed by incoherent shouts from the others. "We were uh —"

"Are you and Y/N together?" Bob casually asks, eliciting more exclamations from everyone else. You're pretty sure Yelena just covered Bob's mouth in an attempt to stop him from asking any more questions since his voice becomes muffled but Alexei just continues asking on his behalf, clearly curious.

"Comrade, it is a beautiful relationship, you and Y/N. Why so shy? They are strong, kind, and very hard to replace."

"Alexei! You can't just say someone is hard to replace!"

"But they are! There is no one like comrade Y/N, even if you go to the ends of the world!"

Bucky can't help but chuckle, then he calls for you. "Babe, do we tell them?"

"I don't know, do we?" You step out of the kitchen, trying not to laugh as everyone dissolves into more hysterical screaming. "They don't seem ready for it."

"How long has it been?" Yelena asks. John groans in the background, muttering something about how he should have noticed it earlier with how defensive you were over Bucky back when you first met.

"I think it's been a good few months since we got married?" You frown, pretending to be deep in thought. Bucky bursts out laughing as the rest of the team erupts into even more chaos somehow, with Ava screeching at the top of her lungs, Bob exclaiming about rings, Alexei shouting about how marriage is a beautiful thing, and John face plants the nearest wall. Yelena looks stoned for a while, and then gives up.

"Wait, then why have we never seen your wedding rings?" Bob asks, gesturing wildly at the both of you.

"I can turn things invisible, remember?" You touch Bucky's neck and a gold chain shimmers into view. Bucky lifts the hand to his lips, pressing a kiss to your knuckles before untucking the chain from underneath his shirt, revealing the ring that hangs from it.

"That is such a boring ring," Yelena deadpans. "Couldn't get anything fancier with your Avengers paycheck? How much does Tony Stark pay the Avengers anyways?"

"We decided to keep things simple, or it might get in the way during a fight." You take yours out, letting out a yelp as Bucky yanks you down onto his lap.

"We're going to be here for a long time, might as well get comfortable," he sighs, nuzzling into your hair. You lean against his chest and feel his arms automatically wrap around your waist, securing you to your new spot. "I hope you have more of those coffee beans because I'm going to need more coffee after this interrogation session."

"You don't want to try the other beans?"

"I like the lavender taste," he hums, the sound vibrating in his chest.

"They're so cute together, how did we not notice?" Ava hisses. Yelena shrugs in response. Alexei forces John into a chair and Bob happily takes a seat, clearly excited about the gossip that's to come and your interrogation begins.

"So, when did the two of you first meet?" Bob asks the first question.

"It was when Steve brought me to the safe house you were hiding in during the UN bombing, right?" You turn to face your husband.

"Mmhm." He fiddles with your ring, clearly not paying attention to the interrogation going on.

"Hey, you're not allowed to leave me alone to face all their questions!" You give his cheek a poke and he gives a dramatic groan.

"I signed up for this when I married you, didn't I?" He sighs.

"Yes you did." Your cheeky grin causes the corners of his lips to curve upwards and he pokes you back.

"I suppose there's no escaping this."

The team eagerly lean closer as you detail your first encounter with Bucky, followed by your first date with him and the wedding itself. It was tiring, answering every single question, but fortunately Bucky stepped in every now and then, helping to answer some of them. His ice blue eyes would crinkle in amusement whenever he recounted a funny incident, followed by a teasing poke to your ribs which would cause you to squirm but you can tell he's enjoying himself, remembering all the little moments of light in his life.

You would give anything to make him smile like this more often.

Once the interrogation is over, the team split up, mulling over the new cascade of information they've just received. You, meanwhile, remain in your spot on Bucky's lap, feeling his hand run through your hair.

"I can't believe we managed to hide our marriage from a Widow, a Walmart Captain America, the Russian Captain America and a spy who can phase through walls." You laugh, snuggling against his chest. His steady heartbeat reassures you, reminding you that he's right here, by your side.

"I can. After all, we're the world's greatest assassin and a spy who can turn anything they touch invisible." He smiles softly, turning you around to face him. His hands cup your cheeks, cradling your face and he leans in to kiss you on the lips. "I can finally do this without having to worry about anyone catching us."

"I like that." You pull him into another kiss, savouring the taste of his lips. "Makes mornings less stressful."

"It also means I can constantly hold your hand now." He presses his forehead against yours, closing his eyes. "And tell you how insanely perfect you are."

"Does this mean I can tell you how extremely handsome you are?" You whisper teasingly, unable to contain the smile on your face.

"Always, love. I'll never grow tired of hearing that."

"Get a room!" Bob yells from his hiding spot around the corner. Ava anxiously shushes him but it's too late. You and Bucky turn to see three heads disappear behind the wall, and you scramble to smack said heads but Bucky tugs you back down onto his lap.

"We're claiming the dining room!" He hollers, then gives you a peck on the cheek. "Go find another room!"

"Buck!"

Your husband only laughs in response, hugging you close. "I'm not letting this opportunity go. I already have you here, I'm not moving anywhere."

"Just admit you're too lazy to move back to one of our rooms."

"And risk spilling coffee on the sheets? Never!"

"Oh, but it's fine to spill coffee on your metal arm?"

"That only happened once! And there's always the dishwasher —"

"No! If I ever see your arm in the dishwasher again, I will personally slap you with it!"

"Fineeeeeee." Bucky sighs. "No more metal arm in the dishwasher."

You let yourself flop back onto his chest, basking in his secure embrace as he finishes his cup of coffee and picks up his book to continue reading.

"I like this coffee." He presses his cheek against yours, purposely rubbing the stubble on your skin because he knows he can irritate you like that and get away with it.

"More than me?" You're not sure why you're feeling so playful today, maybe it's because of the weight that has been lifted after telling the rest of the team about your marriage to Bucky.

"Nothing will ever come close to stealing your spot as my number one favourite." He boops you on the nose, dodging your return attempt with his super soldier reflexes and a wide grin. "Try harder, love."

"You're asking for it, James Buchanan Barnes! Now take it like a man!"

#marvel #marvel x reader #mcu #mcu x reader #mcu bucky #bucky #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky fluff #thunderbolts #the new avengers #thunderbolts spoilers

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skullsfiction · 1 year ago

Text

PR nightmare | oscar piastri

paring: oscar piastri x singer!reader

summary: y/n is considered a pr nightmare. let’s watch her get into her first relationship.

notes: yet another repost from my old account, i tired to make it exactly the same, enjoy!

— y/n has posted new pictures!

liked by mclaren, f1, yourbrother, and 737,938 others!

yoursername: my manger told me to tell you guys that the illuminati is NOT real and i was just joshing around !! 😂👍👍😂

view comments below!

user1: ugh this is SO BELIEVABLE

user2: | WAS WAITING FOR THIS POST

user3: yeah let's all ignore the "i wrote songs about an f1 driver!!!!"

user4: the pictures 😭

yourmomsuser: pic credits?

yoursername: you're like 60 why do you know what pic credits are ??

user5: the illuminati is totally real 🙄

mclaren: 👀

yourusername: NO THIS IS SO EMBARRASSING PLS LOOK AWAY

user6: no offense, but how did you stumble across F2 oscar???

yourusername: my brother is like a HUGE f1, 2, AND 3 nerd and he always forces me to watch races with him 😣

yourbrothersuser: you literally ask me to tell you when oscar's back on the screen???

yourusername: okay kill yourself????

yourbrothersuser: @/yourmomsuser

yourusername: GOD YOU ARE SUCH A SNITCH

ynupdates: y/n and her brother; jacob, were seen at the airport earlier today, she later posted the picture on the right, on her story, confirming that she is in fact traveling. y/n has no shows coming up, and she rarely travels with jacob. thoughts?

view comments below!

user7: guys guys..the monaco grand prix in literally in two days.

user8: SHES GOING TO THE GRAND PRIX. I KNOW IT.

user9: why's her brother kinda??

user10: you can't even see his face 😭😭?

user9: I CAN JUST TELL

user11: everyone saying she's going to the grand prix are like getting my hopes up??????

user12: WATCH HER GO SOMEWHERE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT 😭

user13: okay guys..but we never talked about what songs could be about oscar

user14: IVE DONE SO MUCH THINK ABOUT THIS!!!

user13: GIRL PLEASE TELL

user14: OKAY OKAY!! one that REALLY stands out to me is "my love mine all mine" because, we all know y/n has never had a boyfriend before, SO when she writes love songs, obviously people speculate that she's in a relationship

user14: WHEN SHE WAS ASKED ABOUT THE INSPIRATION FOR "my love mine all mine" she said "i sadly do not have a boyfriend yet. but there is someone i've had my eye on for some time." SHE COULD HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT OSCAR AND WE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE

user15: istg if y/n doesn't show up in the paddock tomorrow, i will throw a fit.

liked by mclaren, f1, yourbrother, and 837,938 others!

yourusername: i could tell you where i am and what im doing, but its funny reading the theories

view comments below !

user15: are you going to a secret illuminati meeting user16: pls y/n pls just tell us

user17: this is cruel AND YOU KNOW IT

user18: pls lord, let y/n go to the monaco grand prix🙏🙏

user19: there's no way she ISNT going to the grand prix, i mean she's with her brother, and he's literally like the biggest f1 fan ever?? why else would they be traveling together

user20: maybe they're traveling together because they're siblings😭😭 ?? it doesn't have to connect to f1

yourbrothersuser: y/n pls put the phone down. i need a good nights rest for tomorrow.

user21: TOMORROW ???? IS ??? THE ???? GRAND ??? PRIX ??? ARE ???? YOU ??? GUYS ???? GOING ????

ynupdates: it seems like the rumors are true! y/n and jacob are currently at the grand prix!

view comments below!

user 22: 1 FUCKING KNEW IT

user23: everyone knew it...

user24: WHOO CAREEESSS oscar and y/n interaction WHEN ???

user25: ugh i NEED grid x y/n interactions RN

user26: y/n this, oscar that. WHAT I NEED IS TO SEE Y/NS BROTHER MEET MAX

user27: omg can you imagine how happy he is rn

— mclaren has posted new photos!

liked by yourusername, f1, yourbrother, landonorris, oscarpiastri and 837,938 others!

mclaren: monaco was a dream! thank you y/n for joining us view comments below!

view comments below!

user28: 1 SHOULVE BEEN THERE. I COULDVE METY/N. THAT SHOULDVE BEEN ME.

yourusername: thank you for having me🧡

user29: okay now make oscar and y/n kiss

yourbrothersuser: thank you for making my dream come true 🙏🙏

redbullracing: @/yourusername our garage next

yourusername: i think @/yourbrothersuser would enjoy that more then i ever could

redbullracing: he's always welcome to join 💙

yourbrothersuser: AHHHHHH OMG OMG

user30: okay now more grid x y/n content

user31: the way this became like a meet and greet for y/n was INSANE

user32: who would've thought there would be so many y/n fans at a F1 race??

user33: everyone's a y/n l/n fan.

— y/n has posted new photos!

liked by, mclaren, landonorris, oscarpiastri 763,928 others!

yourusername: do you think he'll try weed with me now that he's my boyfriend?

view comments below !

user34: EXCUSE ME BOYFRIEND???

user35: OMG Y/N GOT HER FIRST BOYFRIEND!! АННННН

user36: OSCAR AND Y/N??? HELL YEAH

user37: okay let's just pretend that doesn't say what it says 😭

yourmanger: y/n please change that caption.

yourusername: i don't know how ☹️

user38: WHO CARES ABOUT THE CAPTION!!! Y/N AND OSCAR SHIPPERS RISE

mclaren: in case that caption isn't a joke, y/n please refrain from getting our drivers high.

yourusername: YOU GUYS ARE NO FUNN

user39: i love how public y/n is. like she genuinely acts like she doesn't have millions of followers

oscarpiastri: love i already told you, we cant get high.

yourusername: YOU WOULD IF YOU LOVED ME.

maxverstappen1: i'll get high with you y/n 🙋‍♂️

redbullracing: no you will not.

#oscar piastri social media au #oscar piastri smau #oscar piastri x y/n #oscar piastri fanfic #oscar piastri x you #oscar piastri #oscar piastri x reader #oscar piastri fluff #oscar piastri f1 #f1 x female reader #f1 x y/n #f1 social media au #f1 x you #f1 imagine #f1 fic #f1 fanfic #f1 x reader

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pitchsidestories · 27 days ago

Text

See You in Lisbon II Alexia Putellas x Arsenal!Reader

romantic masterlist | platonic masterlist | word count: 1606

summary: Reader is Arsenal through and through. Her girlfriend, Alexia, on the other hand, bleeds blaugrana. Both can't wait to see each other at the final in Lisbon.

author's note: Hi everyone, when we started writing this fanfic, we never imagined the game would unfold the way it did. We hope this story brings you some comfort, no matter which team you were supporting in the final. And we'd love to hear your thoughts after you have read it. 🫶🏻🫶🏻

disclaimer: everything in this fanfiction is purely fictional and nothing corresponds to reality.

“Any plans for the weekend?”, you asked casually, the phone pressed to your ear. While waiting for an answer from your girlfriend, you traced the rim of your coffee mug standing abandoned on the couch table in your London flat. You bit back a smile, thinking about the weekend when you’d finally get to see her again.

“Yes, winning the Champions League.”, Alexia answered without missing a beat.

You rolled your eyes, still wearing an affectionate smile. That was typical Ale, always thinking about football.

With a smirk, you said: “See you in Lisbon, love.”

“Sure.”, you heard her grin, determined to keep this rivalry up until the final whistle of the Champions League final.

You paused, raising an eyebrow. “Wow. No Sure, amor?”, you asked, feigning a pout.

“No, not before the final.”, Alexia teased.

“Alright.”

“Maybe afterwards.”, your girlfriend added, relenting just a little.

“Can’t wait.”

“Oh, trust me. You won’t have anything to celebrate afterwards.”, she half-joked.

And yes, maybe you felt the same way: excited to see her again which you didn’t do as often anymore since your transfer to Arsenal but also absolutely ready to give it your all and bring that trophy home.

The day of the final promised to be something very special. Sold out stadium, sunny weather and that impeccable atmosphere only a Champions League final could provide. You could feel it as soon as you set foot inside the stadium.

While you focused on getting ready for the game, across the tunnel in the Barcelona dressing room, they were still busy teasing your girlfriend.

“Nervous, Capi?”, Jana asked her as Alexia pulled on her shirt.

She shook her head: “Not at all.”

Esmee grinned at her: “But you’ll see your schatje again.”

“No.”, Alexia replied calmly, shutting the young player up quickly.

Ona giggled from the other side of the room: “Oh wow, that’s brutal.”

“I won’t even talk to her until after the game.”, Alexia added with a laugh.

Meanwhile, Arsenal’s dressing room was equally alive and you were the centre of attention.

“Codi and Vic, stop smirking at me like that.”, you said, trying to sound as serious as possible but eventually, a grin broke through.

Laia blinked at you with exaggerated innocence: “We’re not doing anything.”

Victoria exchanged a quick glance with her before turning to you with raised eyebrows: “Yeah, we’re not the one who’s dating the enemy.”

“The enemy, huh?”, you echoed with a smirk.

Laia nodded eagerly: “Si!”

“Only for a game. It’s not like I’m dating a Chelsea player.”, you said with a nonchalant shrug.

Luckily for you, the Arsenal captain intervened: “Leave her alone, you children.”

“Yes, we’ve no time for that now.”, Renée added, glancing expectantly at the clock, it was almost time.

Quickly, you reassured her: “Don’t worry, we’re ready and fully focused.”

Before your team left the dressing room and stepped into the players’ tunnel, you formed a huddle. Your coach addressed you all one last time before the match: “Then I’ve nothing else to say but to quote the legendary Johan Cruyff: Go out and enjoy.”

“Let’s go and win this.”, you continued, your voice brimming with excitement.

Leah, who was standing beside you, added: “For Kim and us.”

“Can you keep me out of this, please?”, the Arsenal captain said, clearing her throat, uncomfortable with the attention. The midfielder didn’t want the added pressure; she intended to give it her all on the pitch regardless.

“Sorry.”, the defender replied with an apologetic look.

Determined, Kim clapped her hands together, and the huddle slowly broke as each of you headed for the tunnel: “Let’s go.”

The game felt like it lasted an eternity and yet, also like the blink of an eye. But luck was on your side. Stina, who came on late in the match, scored the winning goal.

When the referee blew the final whistle, you leapt into Alessia’s arms. Tears formed in both your eyes as she whispered in disbelief: “We did it.”

Euphoria pulsed through your veins until Laia’s serious voice grounded you: “Y/n? I think someone needs cheering up.”

Your heart sank when you spotted your girlfriend sitting on the grass, looking sad and dejected.

“Ale?”, you called softly.

She looked up and rose to hug you, murmuring into your ear: “Congrats.”

“You all played brilliantly you almost had us at the end.”, you remarked sincerely.

A pained smile crossed Alexia’s lips. “But you were better.” Seeing the concern in your eyes, she quickly added: “I’m alright.”

You hesitated: “See you later, or would you rather be alone?”

“I think I want to be alone.”, she answered. The Barcelona captain wanted you to enjoy the special night ahead with your teammates.

You nodded reluctantly: “Okay.”

“Come on!”, Victoria shouted.

“Go celebrate, amor. Tonight, I’m mad at you but tomorrow I’ll be proud we lost to you,” Alexia declared, giving you a gentle push towards your celebrating teammates.

Your heart was full of love for her, and for your team. You turned to look back at her and responded: “I can live with the hate for tonight, if tomorrow’s only love.”

“Disgusting.”, Beth grimaced playfully. You couldn’t help but roll your eyes at her.

Unlike you, Alexia pretended not to hear the winger’s teasing remark. In her quiet confidence your girlfriend promised: “I’ll see you tomorrow. “

“Bye.”, you said softly, watching her turn her back on you. Before she disappeared into the group of Barça players, you felt someone tug on your arm.

You turned to see your coach pulling you into the direction of the stands.

“Renée, I can’t run anymore.”, you complaint through laughter. But of course, there was no way you'd miss out on celebrating with the fans.

“That poor girl gave her everything!”, Leah called over, thankfully jumping to your defence.

Renée still didn’t let go: “Yeah but I could see her getting sadder by the second.”

You felt your cheeks heat up, being read so easily by your coach was slightly embarrassing.

“It’s called empathy and this was about my girlfriend!”, you protested.

“Your girlfriend has three of those already, she will survive.”, Renée teased with a grin.

You paused to think about it, then nodded: “Good point, actually.”

“It’s time to celebrate yourself.”, Renée reminded you.

But you never even made it to the stands because Laia wrapped her arms around your waist and lifted you off the ground like it was nothing, She was beaming, absolutely exhilarated by the achievement.

You squirmed in her arms and laughed: “Laia, put me down!”

“No.”, she replied simply.

“Please, it’s time for the medals!”, you called out, pointing over toward the stage.

“Okay, but only because of that.”, Laia finally gave in and set you back down.

“Thank you.”

During the guard of honour, your eyes continued to drift, trying to find Alexias. She still looked crushed, only offering you a weak smile once the medal was around your neck. But you decided to give her the time she needed, tonight was for celebrating with your team.

The celebrations went on until the early morning hours. You only made it to bed when the sun had already started to rise so when it was time to get up, you felt groggy and disoriented.

Still half-asleep, you opened the door of your hotel room as you were already running late for breakfast. You nearly knocked over a bouquet of flowers waiting at your feet. You rubbed your eyes and picked it up without much thought.

“Who got you the flowers?”, Lia asked cheerfully, appearing down the corridor with Mariona on her side.

You blinked down at the bouquet like you were seeing it for the first time.

A quick check of the off-white card attached to the bouquet revealed the sender.

Grinning, you replied: “It’s from her. But you know what the note says?”

“What?”, Lia asked, intrigued.

“Enjoy the moment but next time, we’ll win again.“, you read the note out loud.

The Swiss woman remarked, amused: “That definitely sounds like her.”

“Seems like she’s already ready to go again.”, you realised, relieved.

Leah, who you hadn’t seen coming, gave you a light hug from behind and commented confidently: “Don’t worry. We won’t make it easy for her.”

With a finger pressed to your lips, you signalled for them to be quiet as you received a phone call from your girlfriend.

Mariona laughed quietly: “Ooh, she’s calling.”

You took a few steps away from the banter of your beloved teammates, heading to a quiet corner where you could look out at the sea.

“Morning, amor. Did you receive my surprise?”, Alexia asked gently.

Filled with deep gratitude, you answered: “I did. Gràcies.”

“You’re welcome. And I mean it—next time, we’ll win.”, your girlfriend emphasised.

Smiling, you shook your head. It was good to see her in that spirit again: “Lee already said we won’t make it easy for you.” You paused for a moment, then added lovingly: “Ik hou van jou.”

“I believe you. But we’ll be better then.”, she replied.

There was hopefulness in your voice as you asked: “See you soon?”

“Yes, promise.”

You had a few days off before joining the Dutch national team for the Nations League matches, but you already knew where you’d be heading first. You might play for different clubs, but beneath it all was a love that only grew deeper with time.

Lisbon had been wonderful, but you couldn’t wait to see her again in Barcelona where it all began between the two of you.

Home was no longer a place. It was in your girlfriend’s arms.

image sources: https://www.instagram.com/wchampionsleague/p/DKCwVPmIBVD/, pinterest

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poguehearted77 · 7 months ago

Text

Co-Star Confessions

Pairing: Actress! Reader x Drew Starkey

Co-Star Confessions-> The cast takes you along on a trip to take a lie detector test for an interview. The jokes are rolling and the tea starts to spill.

Summary: A lie detector, a dark room, and unspoken tension pull you into a whirlwind of revelations, where secrets are spilled, emotions run high, and your growing romance with Drew becomes impossible to hide.

Belongs to my: OBX Season 5: Payback for Maybank Series

These can be read in any order!

"Okay be honest, who else went on a deep dive of doom last night and watched all of Blackbox's previous interviews?" Madelyn turns from her place in the passenger seat, facing you, Madison and Chase so you can hear her question clearly.

All hands go up. The anticipation is high and circling in the car. Today the cast has split up into two cars as you're being shipped off to another studio to record an interview with Blackbox.

"Some of those questions were brutal, and you're hooked up to a lie detector so there's no chance you can avoid the truth." Chase lets out a weighted breath, his mind running off with the possible questions they could ask. There's a small sprout of fear blossoming around the possibility they'll pry open closed doors about his and Madelyn's break up.

The concept is simple: Prior to the interview, Blackbox has done their own research and collected some surface-level, intermediate, and mildly invasive questions that the fans of the show are circulating online. One by one, the cast will sit in the empty black room with no one but the polygrapher and a lie detector, the questions get asked and if you're telling the truth you get a point, if you're lying you lose a point.

The castmate with the most points at the end gets to ask any co-star any question of their choice.

"I can't believe I let Madison drag me into this." You scoff and all she does is smile bright and innocent. It took some convincing of the producers but she's very persuasive when she needs to be.

"We're family now. If we go down, so do you." Chase holds your hand and gives it a condescending squeeze. "I take that as a threat." You snatch your hand away and everyone laughs.

As you arrived, it seems the car with Carlacia, Drew and JD had beat you guys there. Their driver was already pulling off the lot, telling you the others were inside. You got out of the car behind Chase and adjusted your clothes.

Today, your stylists had picked out a white long-sleeve shirt layered under a sleek black vest, paired with a gray mini skirt, black sheer tights, a small shoulder bag, delicate gold acccesories, and a sleek pulled-back pony-tail for a perfectly polished look.

You could already hear the chatter from the studio from out in the hall as you entered the room behind Madison, more chatter erupting as the full cast is reunited. You did your rounds to greet the others you hadn't been riding with. "You look great," Drew compliments as he briefly rests his head atop yours during your hug. You fit in his arms as perfectly as a puzzle.

His pathetic instincts allowed him to take a deeper breath to get a stronger pull of your gentle perfume that intoxicated his mind. "I don't remember getting a compliment from you this morning!" Carlacia accuses him playfully and he laughs along before flattering her endlessly and you thought it was cute.

There’s no denying it. From the very beginning, you and Drew have danced around the unspoken tension, the sparks that have lingered just beneath the surface. But lately, those sparks have started to feel dangerous, like a fuse waiting to ignite. The two of you can’t be left alone for long—what starts as two chairs between you inevitably narrows to one, and then, before you realize it, none at all.

One second you're both rehearsing lines in the studio-b trailer and the next you're passed out on the couch side-by-side. Even though that only happened once, it was more than enough. You've blown through nearly two-thirds of filming the final season and it was easy to consider Drew one of your closest friends, both on and off-set.

There were late-night phone calls, early morning face-times, minimal texting since he hardly replied to his messages but lots of heated glances that shouldn't make you feel as hot as they did. Like right now.

Madelyn is currently removing a piece of lint that had fallen onto your hair from god knows where, meanwhile, you pretended you couldn't feel Drew's deep gaze from behind Madelyn's head, but you shook it off. You had to.

It wasn't long before you're all being ushered to take your seats in the black room, getting ready to record your introduction which will be the only time the whole cast is in the black room together for the interview.

"We're the cast of Outer Banks and welcome to Blackbox." You all say, introducing yourselves personally then retreating to the holding room where there are five chairs, a one-way glass looking into the black room and a microphone.

The assistants spun a wheel which decided that JD is the first one up on the chopping block. "Keep the questions pg-13, please. I've got family that's gonna see this." He pleads, letting himself be strapped into the chair and hooked up with the various components of the detector. Meanwhile, you took the seat in the holding room between Carlacia and Drew.

"So he really can't see us?" Madelyn questioned, waving to JD through the window, but he was unresponsive. "All he sees is a mirror, but when you use the microphone, he can hear your voice in the speakers in the room." One of the cameramen explains and you all nod along.

"Okay, Madelyn, you're first to read the questions. Pick up one cue card from the surface-level, intermediate and invasive stack and project your voice into the mic." She's directed but you all listen for when it's your turn.

Madelyn: "JD, What's your favourite memory from filming season 5 Outer Banks so far?"

He jolts a little in his seat, not expecting to hear Madelyn's voice so clearly in a room where he can't see her, but he answers nonetheless.

JD: When Chase and I were rehearsing that scene where we have to hang-glide off a cliff but Chase's hands slipped and he misses the bar, and he just goes falling to the foam platform like twenty feet below us, but it wasn't even that. It was the scream he let out. I still think about it.

"He's telling the truth." The woman informs.

Chase has his head in his hands while you and Carlacia hold onto eachother, laughing until you're gasping for air.

Madelyn picks up the top cue card from the intermediate pile.

Madelyn: Which castmate are you closest to?

"Oooh." There's a collective sound that sweeps across the studio, it made everyone uneasy, not because of the question. It's a difficult question and everyone knows there are no hard feelings involved but if this is an intermediate question then you should all be nervous.

JD sighs, "You know what-- Unstrap me." He pretends to grab at the wires and it elicits a round of laughs while he thinks about it.

JD: This is hard. I feel like I have such a different relationship with everyone, but..... uhhh... If I had to narrow it down, I guess probably Madelyn.

There's a long silence, everyone waiting for the polygrapher to confirm or deny. "He's telling the truth."

Madelyn: "It must be fate that I'm the one asking your questions. Luv ya. Now, for your final, invasive question. You recently implied in an interview that you're seeing someone, is that true?"

Your hands clasp over your mouth. "Brutal," Carlacia whispers under her breath while you and Drew lean over the edge of your seats as if you didn't already know the answer to this question.

"No." He denies it, another stomach-churning silence. You can see the nerves rolling down JD's face as he waits for the results. "That was a lie." The crew is making some indistinct noise while the cast is stunned to silence. None of you were going to make it out of this interview alive.

JD's head falls with a guilty grin, dreading the news this would spread in the press. He almost immediately unlatches himself from the machine and enters the waiting room with the rest of you, sending in Chase.

"That shit is intense. It's just so dark, and ominous, and you've got a spotlight on you. Makes you feel like you're on trial for a crime you didn't commit." Drew stands to give him a pat on the back, "You did good, man. Hopefully Maya isn't too blindsided by that last question."

Maya is JD's secret girlfriend, official as of last month, you've met her a handful of times but you clicked almost instantly and often texted on Instagram and shared reels.

The game went on, and the questions didn't get any easier. You watched as you all trickled in and out of the rooms, getting paired off in an order something like this:

Madelyn asking JD

Drew asking Chase

Carlacia asking Madelyn

Chase asking Y/N

Y/N asking Madison

Madison asking Carlacia

JD asking Drew

There's an acrylic nail poking your shoulder and you shudder. "You're up," Carlacia informs you and you nearly vomit. The questions have been ruthless thus far, you honestly wonder how and why the producers approved this.

"Hey Madison, this is for you." You hold up your middle fingers, regretting ever letting her get you involved in this bloodbath. She blows you a kiss and wishes you luck.

Chase: "Y/n-"

You're not sure what it is about it, but you and Chase have had enough bloopers on set, that this felt no different, even though you couldn't see him, you broke out in laughter. Before the mic cut out you heard Chase's abrupt laughter cut through.

This is how you two always were. Unable to keep it together. The directors hated when you had a scene together (even though they'd laugh too). "Okay okay, I'm sorry. I'm ready." You reassure, "That was a lie", The polygrapher debunks your confession and it sends everyone rolling for another five minutes due to its spontaneity.

"Okay. For real this time." You clear your throat, waiting for Chase to start with the questions.

Chase: "If you weren’t acting, what would your job be?"

"Ooh, I love photography, my phone is always gonna be in your face, and I've got like a dozen cameras. So, probably a photographer." You answer. The question is light, but it doesn't erase the uneasy feeling bubbling in your stomach. "True."

Chase prepares to move on to the intermediate stack of cards, shuffling them, just for fun.

"Here we go," Madison leans over to JD, they both knew there were bound to be some wild cards for you and Drew. Ever since your casting as Piper was made public not too long ago, the fans immediately flocked to find all your socials.

The rumours between you and Drew were already starting to spin. All stemming from one photo added to one of Carlacia's many photo dumps a few weeks ago. The image is of you playfully feeding Drew a strawberry from when you'd all done some sightseeing and visited the local Portuguese farms.

Chase: "Fans noticed you recently reposted a TikTok that said, 'When he’s tall enough to climb like a tree>>'—was that just for laughs, or did you have someone in mind?"

Your hands raise to your face and you scream, Madison screams, JD laughs, Madelyn kicks her feet while Carlacia gasps--Simply put, the cast is overcome.

Drew straightens a little, now more intrigued than ever (as if he wasn't before). His eyes sparkle with hope? Interest? Certainty. A subtle wave of confidence runs down his spine as he confirms to himself that you're talking about him. You both know it, and you've never been so glad that you couldn't see his face.

"My TikTok account is private how did they even-?!"

Chase: "Answer the question Ms. Y/n."

You could hear his smirk through the mic. Oh, he was enjoying this too much. You made a mental reminder to send Kelsea all the worst images that you've taken of him. "It was just for fun," you shrug.

"That was a lie", You knew it was coming, honestly, but at least you tried.

Chase: "You've recently been cast as the lead in a new rom-com called The Love Equation set to release in 2026, congratulations."

Chase prefaces the question with the recent news that was unveiled to the public merely a few days ago. It was a very recent endeavour of yours.

Not long after you started filming for Outer Banks, you'd received a call back from this project and filming was set to start a little after the OBX premiere which is a little less than three months away.

"Thank you, thank you. I'm very excited and grateful for the opportunity." You say, pretending you weren't dreading the question that's soon to follow. Chase's flattery made you nervous, regardless if he was just reading what was on the card.

Chase: If you could pick any castmate to star alongside you in a rom-com, who would you pick?"

Drew's jaw locks at the question. His grip on the arm of the chair tightens subconsciously as he watches your every move. From the way you looked up at the ceiling, pretending to think to your left foot pacing an unsteady rhythm.

All while Madison was watching Drew, a small smile creeping up on her lips. She needed no further confirmation from the two of you, your body language was loud enough. To her, at least.

"Drew." You say nothing more, nothing less. You don't want to fan the flames that fans have already sparked to life from a simple picture. "She's telling the truth." Yeah, obviously, but you don't say that out loud.

The time seems to fly now that your turn had passed and finally, it's Drew's turn. Deep down you've been waiting for this all day, but if you're being honest, you're a little scared for him.

Drew has one of the biggest and most blunt fanbases of the cast. You've seen how they can get sometimes, you've read the TikTok comments and seen the X threads. Hopefully, nothing gets taken out of context or blown out of proportion.

JD: "What’s your favorite way to unwind after a long day of filming?"

His lips pucker a little in thought, and it dawned on him. "I recently got gifted like, an ungodly amount of bubble bath, but I've actually been using them lately. So, I'll say a nice, hot bath, yeah."

The polygrapher confirms that his statement is in fact true and the round progresses.

JD: "If you had to be stuck on an island with one of your castmates for 24 hours, who would you pick—and what would you two do to pass the time?"

Drew fights the grin on his face, "I'd say Chase, we would go hang-gliding-" He's hardly able to get the sentence out before he's interrupted by his own cackles.

Chase adds his own thoughts into the mic, "You know what, Drew, fuck you, okay?" Chase states before returning to his seat while Drew chokes over his laughs to deliver an insincere apology. "That was true." The room erupts with more laughter at that.

JD: "Your final, invasive question, have you ever secretly dated or hooked up with someone from a movie/show you've worked on, including this one?"

The entire studio goes pin-drop silent. Madison's hand reaches out to hold yours, for comfort, or maybe support? Your eyes are glued to the window that shows a nervous Drew, the most nervous you'd ever seen him. He's starting to sweat.

The two of you have never hooked up, but now you're curious. You would get to find out if he's gotten involved with other girls he's worked with before. Was everything he did just an act? Was it a thing he did with everyone?

"I have not." He answers.

There's silence.

The polygrapher is doing it on purpose, you're sure of it.

...

....

........

JD turns around to face you all and whispers, "Guys, I'm literally shaking for him. Look!" He held out his hand with the card, and it showed a true reflection of his words.

"That is..." She drags out the verdict.

The anticipation got so bad you've all somehow ended up standing, you all might as well press your noses up against the glass.

"True."

The cheering is loud when it swallows the holding room. It's almost shameful how much of a weight you felt lifted off your shoulders at the declaration. Drew is the only one to have told the truth for all three questions, giving him 3 points. He wins.

"Now, Drew. You get to ask any co-star any question you'd like." One of the crewmates instructs as they had you all lined up in the room under Drew's judgement. He stalked along, looking everyone in the eyes, yours lasted a little longer than he was willing to admit but he eventually stopped on Madison.

"Madison, Madison, Madison." Drew taunted in the mic and she rolled her eyes with an all-knowing grin.

Drew: "Not too long ago you were disrespecting my childhood delicacy, the uncrustable. Now, there are rumours going around that you've been seen with them lately, is it true?"

Small giggles were let out around the room. Drew is unbelievable.

"Yes." Madison whispers, looking off to the side.

Drew: What was that? I'll need you to speak up.

Madison: Yes! It's true. Satisfied?

Drew: Very. No further questions, your honour.

You all film the closing sequence, reminding the audience the final season will be released on Netflix on August 30th and September 25th, 2025.

You're all making your way out to the cars. The original groups naturally switched up as you all jumped into the car with people you were in conversations with as you left the studio. This time it's you, Drew, JD and Madelyn.

"Wow, that was lowkey worse than I thought it was going to be." JD admits from the passenger seat and you snicker. Without even realizing it, your head was laying on Drew's shoulder, feeling the sleepiness begin to settle in after an eventful afternoon.

"All that drama genuinely drained the energy from my body." You yawn, and Drew subtly shifts so that you'd find more comfort in him, and you snuggle up just a little more. This is a feeling he could get used to.

Taglist: @percysley, @lilithblackkk, @rafegf-real, @eternallovers65, @drsza, @wearemadeofstardust0, @cadhlabear, @thepopcultureaddict, @citr0us, @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account, @madi44444,@willowpains, @riaras-everthroner, @iteuosav

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unconventional-lawnchair · 8 months ago

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Like my father {Blurb}

Sirius Black x Porter!Reader

Summary: Reader wants a man to love her like her father loves her mom. She just hasn't met him yet.. maybe.

AN: I needed a break from all the angst I'm writing.

Wc: 1494

Cw: use of Y/N, oblivious reader, idiots in love, not proof read

Part two

“Lily, I implore you to raise your standards.” You snarked as you entered the kitchen, giving your mother a kiss on the cheek and she playfully pinched your side.

“{Y/N} Euphemia Potter!” She scolded and you giggled, hurrying over to your father and kissing on the head.

“Good morning, princess.” He hummed and you smiled.

“Morning daddy!”

“Oi! Pops, she just insulted me!” James shouted across the table and Fleamont huffed, looking up at you. “Be nice to your brother, princess.”

“Daddy you know I can't.” You insisted as you walked across the table to give Lily a hug. Pressing your cheek to hers as she giggled.

“You're way too pretty for my wack of a brother.” You continued and your mother looked at her father fondly, taking his hand in her own, which he quickly squeezed in return.

“You're one to talk, you haven't dated anyone… ever. Not that anyone would date-” James smirked and Lily rolled her eyes, laying her head on his chest and pinching his side as he tried to continue.

“Ouch!”

“Thank you Lily.” You giggled and sat down at your seat, muttering a thank you to Sirius as he handed you your morning tea. Giving a low hum at the smell of the sugars and fragrant tea leaves he shifted for it. “Besides, I have standards that prevent me from stooping too low.”

“Standards?” James scoffed and you hummed as you took a sip of your tea, muttering another thanks to Sirius who began to serve you breakfast- a routine you two picked up at Hogwarts that was getting hard to break. “You have standards? You used to crush on boys left and right!”

“Yes but the second they didn't meet my standards they were gone.” You insisted with a hum and James shook his head with a scoff.

“What standards could you possibly be talking about?”

“Well…” You muttered and began to tap on your mug in thought. Slowly smiling to yourself. “I want a man who loves me like daddy loves mum.”

You could feel the room quiet as your words hung in the air. Your father glanced up from his breakfast, a soft smile spreading across his face, while your mother’s eyes sparkled with pride.

“Now that is a standard I can get behind,” Fleamont said, his voice warm and filled with affection. “A man who cherishes you and treats you with respect is worth waiting for.”

“Exactly!” You exclaimed, feeling a surge of confidence. “I want someone who understands the value of love and partnership, not just a fleeting crush. Someone who will stand by me through thick and thin, just like you two do.”

James rolled his eyes dramatically, leaning back and throwing his arm around Lily. “So, like us?”

You gave a long sigh before you slowly smiled. “Unfortunately, yes. You were gifted with dad’s love language, it's your only redeeming quality, I fear.”

Lily snickered and James gave an offended gasp.

“I want…” You trailed off as you put your hand to your cheek and crossed your leg over the other. “I want to come home to flowers. And tea made the way he knows I like. I want him to think about coming home to me at the end of the day.”

You didn't even seem to look when Sirius poured more tea into your cup, stirring in some sugar as you talked. Even though everyone else at the table noticed.

“I want a man who gets along with my parents too! And daddy has high enough standards as it is!”

You glanced over at your father, who was smiling proudly at you, his eyes twinkling with affection as he glanced at your mother who seemed to just be eating it up. “I do have high standards.” He mumbled with a playful grin, leaning in to kiss your mothers temple. “But I’m confident that any young man would be lucky to have you.”

“See?” You said, pointing at him with a mock-serious expression. “Even Dad agrees! So, boys, do take note: you’ve got to bring your A-game if you want to win my heart.”

James snorted, not noticing as Lily and Sirius seemed to make eye contact over the table. “What if they show up with flowers but no charm? Or worse, what if they have charm but no flowers? Sounds like a dilemma.”

You rolled your eyes, shaking your head. “That’s why I’m not settling for just flowers or just charm, James. It’s about the whole package. I want someone who knows me better than anyone. Someone who knows my favorite flower,” You held up your finger and Sirius smirked from beside you.

“Sunflowers.”

“My favorite movie,”

“Grease.”

“My favorite book,”

“Little Woman.”

“And even my favorite meal!”

“Anything your mom cooks.”

“Exactly!” You turned to face Sirius with a bright smile. “See? It's not so hard, even my brothers best friend can figure it out.”

You smiled to yourself and took another sip of tea, not noticing your parents sharing a look and your brother giving you the most shocked expression.

Sirius just chuckled and picked a grape off his plate. “It's easy when you never shut it, Potter.” He then proceeded to flick it at you, quickly, you caught it and rolled it between your fingers.

“Oh! And playful too! I don't want to be dreadfully bored around the bloke.”

“Playful? So you want someone who can keep up with your incessant snark?” James interjected, eyebrows raised in mock disbelief. “Good luck finding that! You’ll be searching for ages.”

You shot him a playful glare. “I’ll have you know that my wit is one of my greatest assets, thank you very much. I need someone who can challenge me, not someone who’s going to sit there and nod while I talk.”

“Couldn’t agree more.” Lily chimed in, her voice light and teasing. “After all, who would want to date someone as dull as a rock?”

“Exactly!” You grinned. “I want someone who can banter with me, someone who can make me laugh until I cry; I want to marry my best friend.”

“Do you have other friends?” Sirius sassed and you gave him an offended but playful gasp.

“Excuse me?” You exclaimed, hand over your heart in mock horror. “I have plenty of friends, thank you very much! Just because you’re one of them doesn’t mean you can throw shade like that.”

“Friends who actually like you, though?” Sirius teased, leaning back in his chair with a smirk. “That’s the real question.”

James burst into laughter, shaking her head. “Honestly, {Y/N}, you might need to reconsider your definition of ‘friends’ if he’s the best you’ve got.”

“Hey now, I’ll have you know that Sirius is a very valuable friend.” You shot back, your eyes narrowing playfully. “And let's not forget, I was Lily’s favorite Potter first.”

“You still are!” Lily cooed as she reached across the table, James quickly lifting his hands to keep you two apart.

“Hey! Hands off my wife!” He playfully scolded and you laughed, before giving a dramatic sigh.

“I want a man… who’s patient and sweet. Who knows what he wants and will take his time for it.” You nodded as if to agree with yourself. “I want someone who doesn't see me as some fleeting crush. He sees me as someone to work for, who puts in the time and energy.”

James smirked, leaning forward with a teasing grin. “Good luck with that! You’re going to have to beat them off with a stick.”

“I’m serious, James!” You shot back, a hint of frustration lacing your voice. “I want someone who values me, not just for my looks or what I can do, but for who I am. Someone who appreciates my quirks and my drive. Someone who knows all my little weird things.”

“Wow, when did you become so profound?” Sirius said, feigning shock as he dramatically placed a hand over his heart. “I didn’t know you had it in you, Potter.”

“Oh, shut it, Black. I’m just stating facts.” You replied, your tone playful yet earnest. “I deserve someone who sees my worth and is willing to fight for it, just like my dad did for my mum.”

Your father smiled at that, clearly pleased with your sentiment. “That’s right, my dear. Love is about commitment and effort.” He stood up and walked around the table to kiss your temple. “You should never settle for less than you deserve.”

“Exactly!” You nodded, feeling empowered. “I want a man who knows that love isn’t a race.”

“Mhm.” You father agreed before he patted Sirius’s back as he passed. “Good luck, son.”

Sirius felt his face flush and he slowly smirked to himself, biting his cheek.

You looked at him and furrowed your brow, before you mother came over and kissed your cheek and dismissed herself as well.

“What was that for?” You huffed and Sirius shrugged.

“Who knows?”

#harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #sirius black #james potter #harry potter x reader #harry potter x you #sirius x reader #sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #sirius x you #sirius o black #Sirius black x potter!reader #potter!reader #james potter x sister!reader #james fleamont potter #jily #james x lily #lily evans #euphemia x fleamont

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andvys · 2 months ago

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The edges of your soul (I haven't seen yet) ⭐︎ chapter ten

⭐︎ Turn me into something tragic, just for you, I let it happen

Warnings: hurt/comfort, angst, insecurities, jealousy, mentions of past stancy, mentions of cheating, mentions of heartbreak and unrequited feelings. post apocalypse au, grumpy x sunshine

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Summary: The aftermath of the drinking game leaves you feeling angry and bitter, and the others confused when you greet everyone with a cold shoulder -- showing a side of you they didn't know you had.

Word count: 12.7k

Author's note: I'm back from vacation and I wrote this in like two days! This and the next chapter are ones I've been excited for the most to write! And me and @hellfire--cult can't wait for y'all to read this hehe. Roe helped a lot with this one, especially with all the dialogues! And also thank you for beta reading and fixing my dumb mistakes bby

series masterlist ⭐︎ previous chapter

☀︎

For the first time in a while, you hate the way the sun shines into your face when you open your eyes this morning. You take deep breaths, glaring at the light. Your palm is pressed against the mattress beneath you. You know you should get up, but you don’t feel ready yet. Your head pounds a little, and your eyes feel sore.

You barely slept last night. Too many thoughts kept you awake, along with all the revelations you got.

For months, you had been traveling with them, and no one bothered to tell you of Steve and Nancy’s history. Of what they once were. Of how friendship wasn’t the only thing between them. And you know that maybe it shouldn’t matter, maybe it’s not that big of a deal, maybe it’s not even of importance anymore. He did say that it was only high school love, and high school was years ago. But it still rubs you the wrong way that they didn’t mention it once, especially Steve. He told you of what that girlfriend of his did to him, of how she hurt him, cheated on him, and dumped him to be with someone else. Why didn’t he tell you then that it was her?

Now you can’t help but feel anger and a sliver of resentment towards her for what she did to him. Even if it doesn’t matter to him now, it mattered to him then. Even if he doesn’t love her now, he loved her then, puppy love or not. She broke his heart. And it pains you to know that he suffered because of her.

Now they are friends, and he can act like nothing ever happened. How? You don’t understand.

Nancy’s confession led you to wake up with anger in your heart this morning.

You turn around and face the rest of the RV. It’s empty. Eddie and Nancy probably left to check out the nearby town, leaving Steve out there by himself.

You’re not sure if you are ready to face him after your conversation with him in the RV last night. After what he said to you.

Steve’s confession led you to wake up with sadness in your soul.

You wish you had known sooner.

You wish you had known sooner about them and about being a goddamn placeholder for the best friend he lost.

If you knew, maybe you could have saved yourself at least.

With a sigh, you push yourself up. You don’t hurry out of the RV this morning like usual, desperate for a cup of coffee – even if you are, you aren’t ready to look into his stupidly gorgeous eyes.

You take your time getting dressed and brushing your teeth in the tiny bathroom. This is a luxury you didn’t have when you traveled alone. You didn’t always have a bathroom. You sometimes traveled for days without finding a roof to sleep under. You brushed your teeth using a water bottle to rinse your mouth with. You washed your hair and your body in lakes. If you were lucky, you found houses with water tanks that allowed you to take showers… even if only cold ones, but you were just glad to be able to properly clean yourself.

You are content here, but you also can’t wait to get home and find comfort again. After last night, you want nothing more than a warm bath, the stew and homemade bread that your dad always makes, a big hug from your mom, and your brother’s stupid attempt to make you laugh.

You miss them. You miss them more than anything today.

You stare at your reflection in the mirror as you braid your hair. You hate how puffy your eyes look today and how those circles under them are darker than usual. You look so different from how you used to look before the world changed. The lack of food is seen on your body nowadays.

You reach for the hair tie around your wrist, not the lilac colored one he gave to you. Now you wonder why he gave it to you. You know it’s Robin’s. You had a hunch, and now you know.

A huff falls from your lips, and you can’t help but roll your eyes at yourself for getting your hopes up once more, let alone in a world like this. Of course, he had a reason to give you a chance, to like you. He wouldn’t have done it if he hadn’t gotten something out of it… right? Why else did he change his mind about you so quickly after getting out of Hawkins? It wasn’t only guilt, it was something else too.

You put your jacket on and zip it up, and eye the yellow colored scarf on the couch. You want to leave it there so badly. The bitterness inside you is strong… though not strong enough for you to not put it on.

You don’t notice the way Steve’s eyes light up when you open the door and step outside into the cold. He is standing in the snow with one hand on his hip and a mug in his other hand. The smell of coffee and snow mixes together. The pot is still steaming, your mug is waiting for you on the small table you used for cooking last night.

“Good morning, Sunshine.” Steve smiles at you, eying the scarf around your neck.

“Morning.” You mumble, unable to even try and sound more cheerful.

Steve furrows his eyebrows, his smile fading a bit as he takes in the look on your face. The circles under your eyes, the sad but also… angry look on your face. It’s concerning to see you like this – the only time he saw that facial expression and heard that tone in your voice was when you all just hit the road, after he had snapped at you in front of Robin’s grave.

“For someone who didn’t drink, you sure do look hungover.” Steve attempts to make you chuckle, though all he gets is a half hearted smile. A weird feeling settles in his chest at that. “Coffee…?”

He searches for your eyes, for your smile. But you hide from him, looking down as you make your way down the stairs.

“Yeah.”

Steve nods and sets his mug down. He grabs your mug and pours the coffee in. He prepares it for you, how you like it – way too goddamn sweet. He stirs it so the sugar dissolves.

“Here,” he says, looking back up at you, stepping towards you to hand you the coffee.

You take it from his hands, forcing a smile onto your face as you glance at him. You try to ignore the way your heart skips a beat over the way he looks down at you, over the way he put three teaspoons of sugar into your coffee… just how you like it, over the way his touch feels when his fingers brush against yours.

“Thank you,” you whisper as you wrap both hands around the warm mug. You retreat and break eye contact, missing the way his face falls as worry takes over.

You sit down on the way too cold camping chair. You take a look around as you take a sip.

Steve picks up his mug again and makes his way to your side, not hesitating to pull his chair closer and sit down beside you. He turns to face you, not even hiding his stare.

You said four words. Only four words. You start rambling the moment you smell the coffee in the air. You are never this quiet. Never. You are just looking at the field ahead of you, drinking your coffee in silence.

“Sunshine, is everything okay?” He doesn’t hesitate to ask. “You’re not feeling sick again, are you?”

Guilt fills your chest at the worry in his voice. But warmth spreads through you as well, knowing that he noticed.

You shake your head and slowly turn to face him. “I’m okay, just tired… that’s all.”

Steve furrows his eyebrows. You were the first to go to sleep last night and the last to wake up this morning. After the conversation he had with you inside the RV, you got tired and went to sleep.

“But you slept for 8 hours,” he mumbles as he reaches over to you, placing his palm against your forehead to check if the fever came back, but your temperature feels fine.

You lean back, avoiding his touch. “I said I’m okay.” You grumble, taking him aback.

Steve’s eyes flash with hurt. His brows sinking lower. The pang in his chest surprises him too, making his stomach dropa little. Not good.

You make the mistake of looking at him, and you instantly tense up. Guilt settles inside of you. The hurt look in his eyes causes your tension to disappear. The urge to apologize grows inside you right away.

His doe eyes gaze into yours, his lips curling into a frown. His shoulders slump, and he retreats a little. In this moment right here, he resembles a goddamn puppy.

Steve Harrington looks like a puppy.

A sigh falls from your lips as you tilt your head to the side.

“I-I’m sorry… I just… didn't sleep that well and now I have a headache.” It’s not exactly a lie. You’re just not telling him the reason for it.

“Oh…” He frowns. “Do you need anything? Tylenol? Or do you want me to make you some breakfast? I can make oatmeal. We got cinnamon and brown sugar now.” He shrugs.

You shake your head, smiling a little. “No, I’m fine… I promise. Maybe later.”

Steve nods, but he doesn’t look convinced.

“The sun is up!” Eddie grins as he spots you next to Steve.

Your head snaps towards him. You were too distracted to hear his footsteps… or hers.

“Morning, Sweets.”

“Morning.”

Eddie notices the tone in your voice right away, the lack of a smile confusing him. He draws back in surprise, tilting his head at you.e’s about to open his mouth to ask if you’re okay, but Nancy beats him to it.

“Are you okay?” The brunette asks, concerned as she makes her way over to you.

You can’t help but feel tense. A sour taste appears on your tongue, not even the bittersweet coffee cannot kill that taste.

Steve notices the way you clench your jaw at the sound of her voice, the way your eyes flash with something he can’t read, something he’s never seen on you before. It surprises him.

Your lip twitches, curling into a plastered smile.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You mumble, and before any of them can ask or say anything else, you turn on your heel and make your way back into the RV, catching them all off guard when you slam the door, leaving them all confused and stunned.

They had never seen you in a bad mood. They had never seen you angry. You had never behaved that way before. They didn’t even know you had it in you.

Eddie raises his eyebrows, his eyes widen. He slowly turns to face Steve after staring at the door for a while. The former jock looks just as confused but also… he looks like a kicked and tossed aside puppy. His lips are curled into a pout, his hazel eyes etched with sadness.

Nancy turns around, nearly giving herself a whiplash by how fast she does it.

“What happened?” She frowns. “Did you say something to her?”

Steve frowns at the accusing tone in her voice. Eddie notices it right away.

“What? No! She just woke up, didn’t even say two sentences to me,” he mumbles as he looks down into his coffee cup. A bad feeling rises in his chest. A mixture of sadness and concern was flushing through him.

Was it something he said…? Was it something he did? Was it about last night? It can’t be right? You were fine when he went after you to talk, when he explained that he doesn’t feel for Nancy anymore. You were okay, you even shared your KitKat with him before you went to bed.

“Maybe she’s just… maybe she is just having a bad day,” Steve mumbles, hoping that it is that. “She’s allowed to have a bad day.” He grumbles, feeling protective. He’s had plenty of bad days, and you always gave him space, just like Nancy and Eddie had bad days, and you always respected that as well.

“So give her the space that she needs.” He tells them, before he sits down on the camping chair behind him, glaring at the snow on the ground.

You’re allowed to have a bad day. He repeats in his head and yet, he feels rejection coursing through him, not liking the coldness he received from you.

Though it turns out to be more than just a bad day.

If it were just that, you would keep to yourself, avoid everyone, and do your thing, but instead, you huff and puff at everything and everyone except for Eddie. Eddie seems to be the one spared by your cold shoulder, even when you grumble in response to his questions, you still talk to him.

And Steve feels offended by it, when he notices how you still talk to Eddie while you avoid him and behave weirdly towards him, he can’t help but feel a weird ache in his chest. It confuses him and it makes him feel sad.

He watches how you chat with Eddie when you wash dishes in the sink, and it leaves him with a bitter taste on his tongue because when he carried those dishes to you, you didn’t say a single word to him, not one word.

And it’s so unlike you. You always talk to him, you talk to him more than you do with Eddie or Nancy, which makes it so obvious that you have some kind of personal issue with him, and it slowly makes him experience an ache he hasn’t felt in so long. He feels anxious, but also… he feels something he didn’t even know he was still capable of feeling. And he doesn’t know what to think of it, he doesn’t know how to let the realization sink in, he is too scared of it.

And Eddie, despite being the one spared by your odd behaviour, notices everything. He sees the way you roll your eyes at everything that Nancy says, the way you clench your jaw and stare at her bitterly, resentment flashing in your eyes.

And Steve… Every time you look at him, your eyes flicker with hurt but also with anger and disbelief. One moment, you look like a kicked puppy around him; the next moment, you snap at him every time he offers a hand and tries to help you with whatever task you are doing.

In return, he always draws back in shock before his face flashes with sadness and rejection.

If this wasn’t so serious, if he didn’t look so hurt and you so angry, Eddie would have found it amusing, but this is all so unlike you. Even he can’t believe what he is seeing.

Nobody confronts you about it. Nancy goes out of your way after receiving one too many eyerolls from you. And Steve, he is scared to even ask, scared to touch the ticking time bomb.

But Eddie grows a little frustrated with you when the late afternoon rolls around and you are still being a snappy brat, acting completely out of character.

“I can do this myself. Thank you.” You snap at the brunette you are usually following around like a duckling follows its mother.

Steve huffs at you, unable to hide his frustration this time but before he can even respond to you, you grab the basket of dirty clothes that he just took from your hands and stomp away, making your way down to the lake to wash them.

“Sunshine!” Steve calls after you as he throws his hands up, watching you walk down the hill. He runs a hand through his hair, exhaling loudly before he curses under his breath. “What is her problem…”

Eddie’s face flickers with sympathy.

Who would have thought that your cold shoulder would be this… cold?

He places his hand on his shoulder, giving him a tight lipped smile.

“I don’t know what I did…” Steve murmurs, not hiding the vulnerability on his face.

“You’re not the only one getting this treatment from her…” Eddie chuckles softly, shrugging. “I think she’s really just having a bad day.”

Steve shakes his head in return.

“No. It’s gotta be something…” Steve mumbles as he furrows his eyebrows, trying to remember if it was something he said or did. “At first I thought it was because of Nance and I… she didn’t know that we used to be together, but we talked about it before she went to sleep and she was fine…”

Eddie winces at that, just like he did the night before when he saw how you reacted to that revelation. He knows you like Steve. He isn’t blind. It’s written all over your face every time you look at him, but Steve is clueless about it, painfully so.

“Maybe it took some time to process that information…” Eddie shrugs.

“But why would she be mad at that…?” Steve frowns as he knits his eyebrows together strongly.

Eddie almost wants to laugh. Yeah, that former playboy has got to be the most clueless guy in history.

“Did you talk about something else with her…?” Eddie steers the topic away from his history with Nancy.

Steve purses his lips as he looks down into the snow that is melting due to the warm sun.

He shrugs as he brings his hand up to his hair again, running his fingers through it.

“We just… I talked to her about Robin, about how lonely I felt after she died… before she came along.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah… I don’t know, maybe she’s just… missing her family.”

Eddie nods. He slowly looks in the direction you have left. He now understands why you are acting this way.

“Hey, listen, I’m gonna go talk to her and you get started on dinner, alright?” Eddie says, looking at his friend intently. “Bet she’s gonna be even worse if she doesn’t eat.” He chuckles, trying to make him smile.

But Steve’s lip only twitches lightly.

“Yeah… Okay.” Steve nods, hoping that a talk with Eddie might lift your mood – although he can’t help but feel a little hurt and sour if he does get through to you.

Eddie pats his shoulder one more time before he walks away, following you to the lake.

He squints his eyes as the sun shines brightly into his face. The warmth of it feels nice for a change, though. He hopes that it will get warmer from now on. The urge to throw his winter jacket off and away feels strong.

Just like it does for you.

You aren’t even wearing yours anymore. You ditched it next to the basket of dirty laundry. At least the pastel yellow scarf is still around your neck, along with a sweater that looks way too big on you.

You are crouched before the lake, washing one of Steve’s t-shirts… angrily.

Eddie clears his throat as he approaches you, making you freeze for a second before you continue.

“Hey…” Eddie mumbles awkwardly as he stops beside you with his hands in his pockets.

“Hey.”

You don’t even look up at him. He can see that your jaw is clenched and that you are still huffing.

Eddie can sense the death glare he is about to get from you, and a part of him feels nervous, even though he sees you as no threat at all.

“Um… what’s going on?” He asks as he looks at the shirt you are washing in anger, the pink cleaning gloves shining brightly under the sun.

“With what?”

“You are acting angry.” Eddie retorts without missing a beat.

“I’m not angry.” You lie. You are angry. You are hurt. And through the haze, you cannot see the impact it left on the three so far.

"Yes, you are!” Eddie huffs as he crouches down beside you. “Did I– did we overstep with yesterday's game?” He asks, desperately wanting to know what had troubled you this much.

“No, Eddie.” You grumble as you stop your task for a moment and turn to look at him. The concern in his eyes makes guilt rush through you. “I just woke up in a bad mood. Can’t I be in a bad mood every once in a while?”

“I mean, yeah, you can,” he nods awkwardly. “It’s just weird to see… that’s all.”

“Well, get the fuck used to it because that’s how human bodies work.” You roll your eyes before you look back into the cold water.

Eddie clenches his jaw in annoyance. He feels a bit surprised by the attitude you continue to give him.

“Okay, enough of this.” He finally grows frustrated. “What the fuck happened when you and Steve went to sleep last night? Did he do something he shouldn’t?”

You freeze.

Growing flustered at the way he worded it, you can’t help but flush all over, which in return, leaves you feeling even angrier.

You get up with the shirt in your hand and turn to face him, frowning.

“No! He didn’t do anything! What does Steve have to do with anything?” You shrug at him.

Eddie stands up as well, taking a step closer to you.

“Because before going to bed you were completely fine, and today you are being a cunt!”

Your jaw falls slack, your eyes flashing with disbelief as you frown angrier than you did all day.

Eddie would have laughed at the expression on your face if this weren’t so serious.

“A cunt!?”

“Yeah! And I would like to know why!” He throws his hands up, growing frustrated with you. “I thought we were best friends, sweetheart! I thought we talk to each other when shit bothers you!”

A flash of guilt rushes through you, and your angry expression fades for a second. Your shoulders slump as your cheeks heat up.

The hurt is still there, burning stronger than before now. You look down into the grass that comes through the snow again. You take deep breaths and contemplate on how to open up, on how to say things without exposing too much, without exposing your feelings and the pain that you have felt since yesterday night.

It all boiled up and you woke up in anger this morning.

Steve and Nancy. Steve and Robin.

It all reminded you of all your failed friendships and your failed relationship. It reminded you of all the moments you have spent playing the placeholder without knowing it, of all the one sided love you have had in the past, platonic and romantic. You thought it would be different this time. You felt that it would be different this time.

But of course not, you were a fool once again.

Even with him, Eddie. He called you a best friend when it isn’t the truth, maybe it is to you, but not to him. Nancy is his best friend, of course she is. They have known each other longer. You came along months, years after they had gotten this close. So, you can’t even be mad or hurt.

But it makes you feel bad. You know if a choice had to be made for whatever reason, it would never be you. Not to him, not to anyone.

And it makes you feel worse to think of him. You thought that he could be the one, a best friend. You even ignored the part that wanted him as something more. You were happy to have him just like this. You were so lost in the delusion that you didn’t realize that you were nothing but a reminder of her, someone he could play pretend with.

Why else would he have risked his life for you?

He didn’t want to lose you because he would lose her a second time.

Tears build up in your eyes as it all comes through you once more. You don’t want him to see, and you don’t want to cry in front of him, so you keep your eyes on the ground.

“I just found out stuff that I think I should have known a while ago… I’ve been traveling with you for months, and I just now found out that Nancy was the girl that was with Steve…? That she was the girl who cheated on him?” You ask, swallowing the sour taste on your tongue.

It all clicks in his head.

“So… this is all because of jealousy?”

You snap your head up, glaring at him.

“Jealousy!?” You shriek, causing him to rub his ears as he winces in pain.

“No need for that screech, that fucking hurt–”

You throw the wet t-shirt at him, not giving him the time to react before it slams wetly against his chest and his chin, making him stumble back in surprise.

“What the–”

You turn on your heel, abandoning the laundry and him as you stomp away in anger, not giving him any time to react to your sudden outburst.

Eddie frowns in disgust as he looks at the wet shirt. He scrunches his face up, furrowing his eyebrows as he looks up.

“Where are you going!?”

You only flip him off in return after throwing those pink gloves on the ground, leaving him in shock yet again.

“Jesus Christ…” He mumbles, shaking his head.

He wants to go after you, but he knows that he will only make it worse. So, as Steve had told him before, he gives you space. Though he can’t help but feel concerned as you walk further away from him.

He looks up at the hill, preparing for the anger on Steve’s face when he comes back without you.

You need space. You need a moment to yourself, a moment to breathe. You needed to escape. Ever since you were a kid, every time you had gotten into a conflict or felt hurt because of something, you stormed away, escaping into the sunflower field behind your house or any flower field you could find in reach. It always calmed you down, it always gave you comfort, to be surrounded by nature, to be by yourself, even if just for a moment.

You found no flower field out here but you found a little clearing, a peaceful little place where you could find some alone time. But now that the anger you felt all day slowly began to fade, the guilt started slipping in for how you treated everyone – even if you are still hurt about absolutely everything.

You are picking at the lilac hair tie, frowning at it.

You will never be her.

And you will never be as special to him as she was to him.

You will never be anything more than a replacement.

And you are pretty sure that even as that, you are still easily replaceable, no matter how much you remind him of her.

Your eyes burn once again, and the feeling in your chest that had been suffocating you since last night becomes worse.

You hate to admit that this hurts you more than any of your past friendship breakups. These people, these three random people that you would have never run into if it wasn’t for the end of the world, have stolen your heart and creeped their way into it so quickly, becoming so important to you that you would do anything for them.

You wonder if they’d do the same… just for you and not because you remind them of anyone.

“Sunshine.”

His soft voice doesn’t even startle you, but you still flinch.

You can feel his eyes on you.

“I’ve looked for you everywhere.” He states.

You can hear the concern in his voice along with a hint of anger.

You take a deep breath before you tilt your head up to look at him. He is standing a few feet away from you. Worry and confusion are written all over his face. He is frowning at you, holding your jacket in his hand that you abandoned when you escaped from Eddie after throwing the wet shirt at him – you will have to apologize…

“Well, here I am.” You grumble, feeling bitter all over when you look into the hazel eyes you have come to adore so much.

Steve clenches his jaw at the tone in your voice. He looks down at you, how you sit against the tree, snapping the hair tie against your wrist. Your face is still tense, still bothered.

“Are you trying to get sick again?” He grumbles as he makes his way over to you, handing you the jacket.

He halts before your feet, his boots knocking against yours. You look up at him through your lashes. You breathe in, and he expects nothing less than another huff from you.

Steve raises his eyebrows at you, nodding his jaw at your jacket, urging you to take it.

“I’m not cold–”

“Put the damn jacket on, Sunshine.” He demands, the frustration clear in his voice.

You push yourself up, patting the back of your legs to remove any dirt you might have sat on. Bitterness curses through your veins to feel him so close, to feel his eyes on you, to feel his anger.

“I think I can take care of myself, Steve.” You grumble in response as you grab the jacket from his hand and make your way past him.

Steve feels a pang in his chest. He hoped that you had calmed down, that you would talk to him now about whatever is bothering you, but you are clearly still not in the mood.

“Can you? Because you dropped everything and stomped away like a bratty child.” He mumbles in irritation.

You are not telling anyone what’s your problem and instead of talking about it, you threw a wet shirt at Eddie – which honestly made Steve feel a little satisfied, knowing that you got mad at him too.

You turn around to face him, frowning at his question. A mixture of emotions ripples through you, anger and hurt. That one word goes through your head like a broken record since last night, and it just got louder. Immature, immature, immature. That’s what he thinks of you. That’s what everyone thinks of you. And it bothers you, it hurts you but it especially hurts to know that this is how he feels about you.

You want to laugh for letting yourself fall for him, for thinking that he could see you as something other than this.

“Well, I don’t need anyone checking on me or looking after me,” you snap back as you point at your chest. “I wanted space, I wanted a fucking moment to myself but none of you respect me! I’m not a goddamn puppy and I’m not a child! I can handle my own – in case you don’t remember, I was on my own for a whole year!”

Steve draws back at your outburst. He lowers his head as guilt rushes through him. Though the guilt isn’t enough to mend the frustration in him.

He clenches his jaw, looking at you intensely as he places his hands on his hips.

“Don’t do that, Sunshine. We respect you, you know that.” He says through gritted teeth as your anger seems to infect him as well. “But clearly you don’t respect us.”

Your eyes widen, and your lips part.

“Excuse me?” You tilt your head to the side, challenging him.

He takes a step closer to you, not realizing just how much of your personal space he is invading and how his eyes flicker to your parted lips.

“You heard me.” He mumbles as he now towers over you. “If you respected us, you would have told us– you would have told me what’s bothering you. I thought we were friends, I thought you and I… could talk about anything to each other.”

‘You and I’. You hate the way your heart flutters at that, like it means anything to him, like it’s something.

He takes a step closer to you, his hands itching to reach out to you, to grab your hands, to hold them like he did before. Instead, he clenches his fists to hold himself back.

You gulp, swallowing the lump in your throat. You hesitate as you look into his eyes. The truth lies on the tip of your tongue, but you are too afraid to speak it out loud, to tell him how much it hurt you to find out about him and Nancy, about Robin.

“Nothing is bothering me, I’m just having a bad day.” You lie through gritted teeth.

He can see right through you. Your left eye twitches when you lie.

“Don’t lie to me,” Steve warns you, glaring into your eyes. “We both know that’s bullshit.”

“It’s not.” You clench your jaw, gripping your jacket tighter.

“Tell me the truth.” Steve demands, growing restless and impatient.

It’s not only his anger that shines through his eyes, it’s the desperation. And if you weren’t so blinded by your insecurities, you would see how much it kills him to receive this cold shoulder from you, you would see just how much he cares, that this is why he wants to know. Because he wants to fix it, because he wants to be there for you, to make it better.

“Or what?” You glare at him, anger and sadness mixing, resulting in an explosion. “You’re gonna call me an immature little girl again? Tell me that my family is dead?” You ask as tears well up in your eyes, and you can’t help but hate yourself for that, for wanting to cry when you want to look brave.

“Don’t do this now…” He begs as his eyes fill with guilt.

But you are not done.

“Tell me that I remind you of your best friend? That this was the only reason why you even gave me a chance…? Because you saw her in me? … And now I’m a placeholder to you and a joke to everyone else?”

Steve feels like a bucket of ice cold water was dumped over his head. His eyes widen, and he draws back, staring at you, bewildered. His heart drops to his stomach, his chest aching when he takes in the tears in your eyes and the hurt written across your face now that the anger was finally put into words.

The tension and the anger in him melting right off. His shoulders slump, and his eyes soften and fill with sadness. The guilt in him is worsening now. This is what you think? This is what you feel?

You were never that. There was not a single moment where he thought that about you, where he saw you as a replacement, where he thought of you as a placeholder to Robin. He didn’t realize how wrongly his words came across and the impact they left on you.

He knows of your past, of the failed friendships, of the shitty first boyfriend you had. How they all made you feel. How they only needed you when no one else was around, how you were the last choice without realizing it, how you kept playing the placeholder for everyone you saw as a close friend or even a best friend. He was so angry at all of them when you opened up to him, and now he led you to believe that he felt just the same as they did about you.

Steve watches the way a tear slips down your cheek, and he wants nothing more than to wipe it away and pull you into his arms, apologize for how much he hurt you with that wrong impression he left on you.

“Sunshine…” Steve whispers as his hazel eyes soften at the sight of your sadness.

Though you don’t give him the chance to explain himself. You don’t need him to lie to make you feel better, and you need no sympathy. You wipe your tears in anger and turn on your heel, walking away… again.

You can hear the frustrated sigh that falls from his lips as he says your name softly.

“Wait… please don’t do this,” he murmurs behind you as his footsteps echo. He follows you, contemplating reaching out to you, to grab your hand and pull you back to him, to make you listen, to put it through that thick head of yours that you are not a placeholder, that you could never be one, never.

“It’s okay, Steve. I get it now.” You mumble, your voice still filled with bitterness.

Frustration builds up in him again. You won’t listen, not so easily.

Steve rushes up to you, grasping your upper arm gently, he stops you and turns you back around, forcing you to face him again.

Your glassy eyes meet his, and you don’t hesitate to open your mouth again, but he beats you to it.

“Listen to me, Sunshine.”

But you don’t. You don’t listen to him. Your ears pick up a different sound, one that you can’t make out so well. You furrow your eyebrows and tilt your head to the side. For a moment, all your troubled emotions flee away.

“You were never–” Steve pauses when he takes in the change of your expression, when he notices the concentration in your eyes.

“What is it…?” He frowns in concern as he begins to look around you both, realizing that he let his guard down, that he didn’t bother to look around and make sure that nothing was creeping up on the two of you.

“Do you hear that?” You whisper as you take in the struggling sound of someone, something.

Steve instantly reaches for the gun in his belt, but you stop him. You place your hand on his and shake your head at him.

“No… just listen…” You whisper as you blink your tears away.

He can’t look away from that, from the tears in your eyes and the pain he had caused without meaning to.

You furrow your brows deeper as you look around.

It sounds like a whine, a pained whimper coming from somewhere close. You turn towards it, hesitating for just a second before you move.

Steve can’t even react as you turn around and escape his touch. You start running, making your way towards those sounds, ready to jump straight into danger.

“Sunshine!” He whispers, not wasting a second to follow you as you further make your way into the forest. “You don’t know what’s out there, you can’t just–”

But you don’t listen. Of course you don’t. Instead, you pick up the pace, following the sound without hesitation. Moving past the trees and the bushes, making your way down the small hill that leads you to a small waterfall and a big stream that is moving fast.

You halt in your tracks as you look around, and when you find the source of the sound, your eyes widen.

Right there by the shore, there is a fallen tree lying in the water, broken branches sticking into every direction. You see the tiny paws holding onto it, the fur wet from the river. The tiny wolf cub is holding on for dear life, but the water is moving fast, too fast for a pup to save itself from it.

You don’t waste any time jumping into action, ignoring Steve’s calls as you make your way down to the river. You throw your jacket on the ground and lean down to take off your boots, undoing your laces quickly. You never take your eyes off the cub, scared that the stream will take it.

Steve halts in his tracks behind you after he catches up. He freezes when you throw your scarf and your sweatshirt off before your hands find their way to your belt, watching how you undress yourself before the water.

“I– what…” He mumbles in confusion, not even noticing the cub in the water. “What the hell are you doing, Sunshine!?”

“I’m not gonna let the cub die!” You cry out as you point at it.

“I–” Steve’s words get caught in his throat when he notices the struggling wolf pup. His heart breaks at the sight before him, and he instantly jumps forward as well, ready to get into that icy water.

The clinking of your belt brings his attention back to you. He stares in disbelief as you take your pants off, stripping down to your underwear.

“Whoa, wait!” He holds his hands up, ignoring the way his cheeks flush at your bare skin, at the lace covering your skin. “The water is cold! You are still coming down from your cold – sunshine!”

You stumble away before he can grab your arm and stop you. You dip your feet into the water, and you can’t help but wince at the coldness of it. Shivers rise up on your skin instantly, and you shudder strongly. You know this will hurt after. You know this might make you sick again, but you can’t bring yourself to think and worry about it now.

Steve’s stomach drops as he watches you get in the water. He brings his hands up to his hair, clutching it anxiously as he clenches his jaw.

You will be the death of him.

He makes his way down to the shore, ready to jump in after you in case something happens.

“I can’t believe you…” He mutters under his breath as he watches you anxiously.

“Hey,” you whisper to the cub with a shivering voice as you take another step into the water, grateful for the tree for slowing down the stream on this spot. You just hope that it won’t get too deep, not wanting to get into the coldness with your whole body.

The cub whimpers loudly which leads you to move faster, desperately wanting to save it.

“I’m coming,” you whisper as you take another step, now standing knee deep inside of it. Your whole body is trembling by now.

The water, this spot would’ve been a nice little place if it wasn’t so goddamn cold.

Steve’s concerned face winces when he sees just how much you are shivering already. He wants to scold you, to grab you and yell at you for being so stupid.

“Be careful.”

Your hands touch the water when the next step nearly envelopes you fully. A gasp falls from your lips when the water touches your stomach. You need to move fast, and you need to get out of here quickly. The cub is in reach now, and you don’t waste any more time, taking a tiny step closer, you reach out to it, wrapping your hands around it, you pull it towards you, cupping the tiny animal against your chest.

Steve watches intently as he takes his jacket off. A sigh of relief leaves his lips when you save the cub and start making your way out.

The ends of your hair are wet, water dripping down your bare back. Your skin is covered in goosebumps. You are freezing.

“I got you,” you whisper as you look down at it. Its paws cling to your bra straps, claws digging into your skin a little as it shivers and whimpers against you. “I got you… baby.”

Steve’s stressed figure stands by the shore, his face is etched with nothing but desperation. The second you are in reach, he grabs your waist and pulls you outside, unable to hide the angry frown on his face as he turns you around, forcing you to face him again.

Not even a minute in the water and your lips are purple and trembling. Your skin is ice cold.

“You are crazy, Sunshine.” He grumbles as he wraps his jacket around your shivering body. And then… he wraps his arms around your body, enveloping you with his arms completely, pulling you into his warm embrace. He places his chin on the top of your head, holding you tightly as he rubs your back, trying to warm you up. “Absolutely crazy.” He mumbles and closes his eyes.

You bury your face in his chest, melting into his touch with ease. You welcome his warmth and press yourself against him. The cub is between yours and his chest now, enveloped by warmth.

“Don’t ever do that again, you hear me?” He says as he holds you tighter.

You risked your life. You risked your life for an animal, knowing what it could lead to again. You are so good, too good for this world. And it fills him with fear because you jump into danger without thinking, not caring about yourself.

And despite the concern it leaves him with, his heart flutters and warms at your action. You are so selfless and loving.

You nod against him as your teeth clatter. You close your eyes and fall into him, embracing the warmth of his body.

“I got you,” Steve whispers into your hair as he tightens his hold on you. “I got you, Sunshine.”

You breathe heavily against him, taking deep breaths. You search for his warmth, pressing yourself tighter against him and in return he pulls you even closer.

“God… you’re so cold.” He whispers in concern as he continues to rub your arms and your back.

The pup between you is shivering just as much, but it’s whines get quieter as it curls into your chest.

“Can’t believe you did this.” Steve mumbles as he cups the back of your head.

“Couldn’t let this baby drown,” you whisper against him as you press your head against the spot over his heart, unknowingly making it flutter.

You don’t know how much time passes as you stand there in his embrace, but you find yourself wishing that you could stay like this forever. It feels nice to be in his arms, it feels safe and warm. Despite what happened before, you don’t want this moment to end.

You know that this is nothing to him, that this is just a way of warming you up just like that night you spent in the car before you got sick. But your heart ignores your mind.

But Steve, he doesn’t want to let you go. It feels nice, it feels right to hold you. His heart feels… alive. His skin is burning from where you’re touching him. Your scent, your touch, is driving him crazy. Your cold shoulder was driving him insane all day, making him sour yet sad. And now he suddenly feels calm. With you in his arms, he feels content, like there is nothing else in this world that he needs. Absolutely nothing.

It’s at this moment that he realizes that he is screwed.

His heart skips a beat when you lay your hand over it.

Yeah, totally screwed.

Your words from before echo in his head, filling him with dread and sadness, knowing how you felt all day, knowing why you behaved so coldly.

Steve opens his eyes and he looks down at you, bringing his hands to your face, he cups your cheeks as he whispers your name, “can you look at me for a second?”

You hesitate for a moment, standing still for a few seconds before you look up at him.

He nearly feels his knees buckle from the vulnerability in your eyes.

He briefly looks at the pup in your arms, watching the way it buries itself against you, feeling safe in your embrace. His heart warms at the sight.

He keeps holding your cheeks, his eyes returning to gaze into yours. He takes a deep breath as he looks at you intensely.

“Listen to me,” he whispers, caressing your cheek with his thumb. “You were never ever a placeholder, you were never a replacement for Robin or anyone else for that matter.”

Your eyebrows furrow as your lips pucker, “but…”

Steve shakes his head at you, “I never meant it like that when I said that you remind me of her. I never saw her in you. You are not some sort of ghost of Robin, Honey.” He promises, telling you nothing but the truth. “Your rambling reminded me of hers, that’s why it was so hard for me to be around you at first. Robin would talk my ear off about the most random things, you did that too and I just thought ‘god… these two together would be the death of me’ cause I know that she would have loved you.”

“Oh…”

Steve can still see the insecurity flashing in your eyes, the way you struggle to believe him. And he so badly wants you to believe him, to trust him.

These days, he struggles to be vulnerable, to show feelings, to let them in… but if that’s what he’s gotta do in order for you to believe him, then he will let his guard down for a moment.

“But in no way were you ever a placeholder. I promise that I have never thought that of you. You are not Robin, and I don’t want you to be her. I like you, I like you for who you are. I like you for how you constantly hit me with the most random facts, for how you stay so hopeful and cheerful despite everything, for how kind you are despite this world, for jumping straight into ice cold water to save this cub.” His cheeks are flushed, and his stomach is filled with nerves. “And you’re not an immature little girl, Sunshine. You are probably the smartest, the strongest of us all. I admire you and for how this world hasn’t tainted you in the slightest.” He admits, feeling his heart race in his chest, and he also fuels it when he brings his hand higher up your face to brush away the stray hair that covers your eye.

Your breath hitches in your throat, your cheeks burn beneath his touch. You don’t even feel the cold anymore, not even the sadness nor the anger from before.

Your heart races strongly in your chest, filling with hope yet again. The rejection, the disappointment that flushed through you before, just vanishes with ease. The look in his eyes makes you feel engulfed in nothing but warmth. The tension in your whole body disappears.

Were you wrong after all?

Did you misunderstand everything he said?

Did the past really leave such an impact on you?

“Y-You… You admire me?” Out of all the questions you could ask, this is the only one you can come up with.

Steve’s lip twitches, curling into a small smile. His eyes soften as he continues to look into your eyes. He found his favorite color.

“Yeah, we all do.” Steve nods. “In case you haven’t noticed.”

You furrow your eyebrows, and you shake your head slightly. His hand never leaves your face.

“Oh…”

Steve’s heart aches a little at your question, at the vulnerability in your eyes, at the confusion because you don’t understand what could make you so admirable.

You want to ask why, but you don’t, not knowing if you can keep the tears away right now.

“I’m sorry for the way I worded things last night, for making you feel that way. I never meant to hurt you, and I never wanted you to feel like you’re some kind of replacement for my best friend. You are not and you never will be. She was special to me. You are too,” he admits, biting back his embarrassment as he gives you a glimpse of how he feels about you.

Your eyes widen at his confession, and your heart jumps in joy.

You know… You know that this could mean something else again, that it might not be what you want it to be. That he means it platonically. She was special, but she was a best friend, there was only platonic love, nothing more, it could be like that with you.

And yet, you want it to be more, you hope it to be more.

Your lips part as you stare at him, as you gaze into the eyes you are falling for with no way of stopping it. Your eyes flicker to his lips, making his breath hitch in his throat, making his heart flutter and his cheeks flush.

His eyes move from your own eyes to your lips, to the scar on your shoulder, and the softness of your neck. His hands itch to touch you more.

The air between you changes, tension building, but not like before. This is different, this makes you both feel hot but not from anger, no, from something else.

You are so beautiful, painfully so. He could look at you forever, and he’d only want to look at you more.

Steve leans closer without realizing. Your breath hits his lips, and suddenly he has to fight the urge to close the gap between you.

You blink as you gaze into his eyes. You stop breathing, the beating of your heart is so strong, you fear that he can feel it against his own chest.

The energy between you is burning, the yearning so deep, so strong. It would only take for you to close the gap between you to feel his lips on your own.

But you are afraid to make the first move, and he doesn’t make it either.

Steve wonders what could have been if he had met you sooner. If somehow he would have found his way to New York and run into you in one of your favorite coffee shops or bakeries. He would have noticed you right away, he would have wasted no time to make a move on you, to ask you out.

But he is not that guy anymore. He is not who he used to be.

“We should get back to the others.” He blurts out. “We gotta get you warmed up better.”

Disappointment floods through you, but you nod, holding back your sigh. “Yeah…” You murmur and look down at the cub who got comfortable in your embrace. “Hold it for me?”

“Yeah… Yeah of course.” Steve mumbles, clearing his throat as he avoids your eyes. He takes the cub from your hands, holding it gently as he brings it towards his chest. “Hey buddy.” He smiles at the furry baby, cupping the small head.

You smile as you watch him. Your heart melts at the sight of the cub curling against him.

You force your gaze away from him and turn to your clothes. You take his jacket off as you lean down to pick up your pants off the ground. You start to get dressed, unaware of the way his eyes find their way back to you.

Steve can’t look away from the lace covering your skin or the way your hair falls down your back. it's gotten so much longer in the past few months. Your skin looks so soft, his hands itching to touch it so badly. He knows it would feel so good, so right to hold you, to feel you against him, to feel your bare skin against his.

The whine coming from the cub in his arms pulls him out of his thoughts. He looks down, finding its dark eyes looking up at him. His cheeks flushed red when it dawns on him what he had just daydreamed about.

He clears his throat, cursing at himself inwardly.

“Okay…” You mumble as you turn back around, unfolding your scarf, you hold it against your chest. “Come here, I’ll wrap him… or her up.”

Steve hums, still looking down, not wanting to expose his blushing cheeks. He steps towards you and hands you the cub, helping you wrap the scarf around it.

“Hey, you’re fine, baby.” You giggle when it wiggles in your hands.

Steve’s heart flutters at that sound. He looks at you, his lips curling as he watches the way you pull the cub against your chest, cradling it the way you would a baby. Oh boy. Something else inside of him stirs.

“Come on…” You whisper to him. “Grab the jackets, please?”

“Why didn’t you put on your jacket?” He frowns, only now realizing that you’re only in your sweater. He huffs as he picks up both jackets, he puts yours under his left arm and throws his own around you.

“What—“

“I’m not cold right now.” And he likes the way it looks on you. He likes that your scent will stay on his jacket.

“Now let’s go,” he mumbles as he places his hand on your back. “We need to get you both to the fire.”

“Yeah…” You nod as you start walking. “Do you think the mother is around?”

Steve shrugs, looking around the forest surrounding the river.

“If she was, she would have been here by now… maybe something happened, maybe she’s dead.”

You frown at that, looking down sadly, “I hope not.”

“Yeah… c’mon.” He whispers, wrapping his arm around your shoulder — to give you warmth of course, for no other reason. His stomach flutters when you lean into him, no longer tense with anger or bitterness.

You walk in silence. The tension between you is gone and your anger has faded away, but you feel guilty for how you treated him.

“Steve?”

“Yeah?” He looks down at you, noticing the troubled expression.

“I’m sorry for how I treated you…” You apologize without hesitating.

His heart warms at your apology, at the soft look in your eyes.

“It’s okay, Honey.”

The pet name makes you blush strongly. You like that he calls you that.

“I was mean…”

“I didn’t even know you had it in you,” Steve chuckles, patting your shoulder. “I can’t believe you threw a wet shirt at Eddie.”

You wince at that, but Steve’s eyes glint with amusement, and he seems to be satisfied with your action.

“You like that I did that, don’t you?”

He nods, smirking, “yeah, actually.”

You huff, but you can’t hold back your chuckle.

The rest of the way back to the RV is spent in comfortable silence. You pass by the lake to find the basket of clothes gone. Nancy must have finished your task.

The thought of her leaves you feeling guilty too. You’ve been horrible to her as well. And yet… a part of you still feels bitter to think of her, to know now that it was she who hurt Steve so much.

You avert your eyes from her when you make it back. Her concerned expression is directed at you.

“You’ve been away for so long!” Nancy says as she gets up from her camping chair. “Is everything okay?”

Eddie turns around to face you, looking away from the pot he is stirring soup in.

Steve nods at her, “yeah, we’re okay.”

Eddie furrows his eyebrows when he notices the fur sticking out from behind the scarf you’re holding.

“What… What do you have there!?” He asks, rushing towards you. His eyes widen when he sees the cub. “Holy shit! Is that a… a wolf!?”

“What!?” Nancy gasps behind him.

“A wolf pup, yeah.” You nod as you caress its little head.

Steve’s eyes flicker back and forth between your face and the animal.

“She jumped into the water to save it…” Steve explains.

Eddie’s jaw drops, and he looks between you and the pup, impressed.

Nancy’s eyes widen, and she makes his way over to you, concern is written all over her face.

“Oh my god, are you crazy?” She exclaims, eying your body. She only now notices Steve’s jacket wrapped around your shoulders. “You just got better!”

“I’m fine, Nancy…” You murmur softly. “Steve… gave me his jacket.”

“But the water is freezing! You must still be cold!”

The worry in her voice makes you feel even worse, making the guilt much more intense.

“Come on, let’s sit by the fire!” She says as she wraps her arm around you, glancing at the pup who is looking around curiously. “Eddie cooked soup, I’ll get you a bowl in a sec.”

Eddie and Steve watch as Nancy takes care of you, wrapping a blanket around you before she fetches you a bowl of soup. You don’t look up at her once, keeping your head low and your eyes trained on the ground or at the pup in your arms.

“So… is she still throwing shirts around or…?” Eddie mutters, narrowing his eyes at Steve.

“No, we talked it out…”

“Oh?” Eddie raises his eyebrow, turning to face him, noticing the sadness in his eyes.

“Yeah…” Steve whispers, scratching the back of his neck. “I’ll tell you more later but… she misunderstood some things I said. She was hurt.”

“Oh…” Eddie whispers, looking back at you. You certainly look more relaxed than you did before; your expression is soft, and there is a soft smile on your face as you pet the pup. “Shit…”

“Yeah…” Steve whispers, looking back at you as well. “I think she’s okay now…”

You cradle the pup against your chest and lean back, wrapping the blanket tighter around you both.

Both men watch you, smiles appearing on their faces. Eddie cannot help but blurt out the first thing that comes to mind.

“Cute.”

Steve turns back to Eddie, his smile fading a bit. A weird pang spreading across his chest.

Eddie smirks, chuckling at the expression on his friend’s face.

“Don’t worry, she’s all yours.” Eddie grins, bumping his shoulder with his own. “Look at the way she is holding that pup. Bet you’re thinking about putting some babies into her—“

“Dude!” Steve frowns, slapping his shoulder.

The metalhead winces in pain, holding his shoulder, “What’s it with you lovebirds and hitting me today!?” He yells in a whisper, frowning.

“You deserved that!” Steve rolls his eyes as he makes his way to the RV.

Though Steve didn’t question before why you hit Eddie in the first place, what he said to you for you to even do that.

Did he tease you too?

Did he make some sexual comments?

Did he comment on your lack of experience?

Or did he tease you about him the way Eddie always teases him about you?

“Are we keeping the pup?” Eddie calls out before Steve makes his way inside. “Guys?”

Nancy feels your cold shoulder the most. While you talk to Steve and Eddie again, you still don’t even talk to her, only when you have to.

It’s making the pit grow in her stomach. She wonders what she said or did wrong for you to feel such sudden resentment towards her.

It’s been killing her all day, but even worse now that she witnessed you acting normal with the guys again.

You have become a close friend in these past few months, if not her best friend. She never had someone like that again, not after Barb.

She felt hope when she met Robin, hoping to find a best friend in her, but it turned into something more. It was so very different with her. She fell in love with her, slowly but very deeply. The love suffocated her because, for the longest time, she believed it was one-sided, that the other girl could never feel that way about her.

It turned out that she was wrong about it and that she had wasted too much time worrying.

She wishes she had talked to her sooner, wishing she could have had more time with her.

She won’t make these mistakes again, she won’t wait for the last moments.

So when dinner is over and the night rolls around, she asks Steve to give her a moment with you, so she can talk to you. She didn’t even question him, knowing that you’ve talked to him about whatever troubled you all day.

He agrees, not even hesitating to. He grabs all the dishes and forces Eddie to clean up with him in the RV, leaving her alone with you.

It’s quiet between you, only the crackle of the fire surrounds you both. The pup is sleeping in your lap, engulfed by your warmth and your scarf, along with the blanket she wrapped around you before.

Nancy takes a seat beside you, breathing in nervously.

“Hey…”

You stop caressing the pup, turning to face her slowly, you give her a tight lipped smile, “hey…”

“Why are you so mad at me…?” Nancy asks, throwing it out.

You tense at her question, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by her.

“I’m not.”

The frustration that’s been building up all day boils over, and she huffs at you.

“Bullshit!”

A frown appears on your face. You tense up further. You know all about how that ex-girlfriend of his called him that, hurt him with that. You could have never guessed it was her.

“Is that the only word you know?” You snap, unable to hide your anger.

Nancy looks taken aback, and it’s more than evident. Her lips part, and her eyes flash with confusion.

“I— what…? I-I use it a lot but… what’s your problem?”

“My problem, Nancy? I’ve been traveling with you guys for months, months! And none of you bothered to tell me that you and Steve used to date. That you were the girl who cheated on him and dumped him!”

The shock is written all over her face, along with the shame. She knits her eyebrows together, slowly shaking her head.

“I-I… that was so long ago, and it was meaningless—“

“How can you say that about him?” You ask in disbelief, feeling the anger burning hotly once again.

The realization sinks in quickly. It never took her long to put two and two together.

“I… Am I getting the signals wrong, or does it sound like you like Steve…?” She asks, careful to be quiet so Steve doesn’t hear in case he is listening.

Your cheeks heat up, and you instantly avoid her eyes, giving yourself away.

“I don’t… I respect him, but it sounds like you don’t! I bet… I bet he didn’t deserve what you did to him and yet…”

She cuts you off, shaking her head at you.

“What happened between Steve and me in the past does not resemble who we are now. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you of our history, but we both moved on from it a long time ago. It doesn’t matter in this present time anymore. I… We both didn’t think of telling you because it truly doesn’t matter anymore.” She says, looking at you intensely.

Her words fill you with relief. He already told you that he felt nothing for her anymore, but you didn’t know where her feelings stood, even with her confession about Robin.

“But why did you cheat on him…?” You ask, disappointed. “Why did you do that to him?”

She sighs, and her shoulders slump. She knows how awful it was, how wrong it was to do what she did.

“I… there is no excuse for what I did. We were on a rough patch together, and I… I found comfort in someone else. I fell for someone else…”

Jonathan. She told you about him before, you just never knew the start of their history.

“That’s so wrong Nancy!” You frown.

You know exactly what Steve felt like when she did that to him.

“I know it was!” Nancy throws her hands up. The sudden tears in her eyes take you aback.

“I know it fucking is! That’s why I was so afraid of telling Robin how I felt! Breaking up with Jonathan to immediately jump to someone else after I did the exact thing with Steve? I know about my reputation! And look at me now…” She whispers painfully as tears cascade down her cheeks. “I never told Robin that I loved her because I wanted to be sure, because I wanted to take time, because I didn’t want to move too fast the way I did with them… only for them both to be the wrong ones for me… I wanted to do right by her, and now it’s too late. And that is my biggest regret… more than anything else.”

All your anger gets replaced by sadness, by guilt, and pity. You can’t and you don’t want to imagine what she must feel like after losing someone like her.

Your own eyes well up with tears, and the urge to hug her, to hold her, and tell her that you’re sorry grows strong.

With the cub on your lap, you move closer to her, careful not to drop it. You pull her into your arms, pulling her into your embrace. Nancy reciprocates the hug right away, wrapping her arms around you tightly as she continues to cry.

You are a little surprised that she accepted the hug so quickly. She always came across as a little cold, someone who doesn’t seem fond of affection. But now you can’t help but wonder if you got her all wrong. And you also can’t help but wonder if this is the first time someone held her after Robin.

You stay like this for a while, giving her the chance to say more but even after that confession, you know she isn’t quite ready yet, to talk more about her.

“I’m so sorry, Nancy… I’m sorry about everything. I wish you could have told her, I wish you still had her.” You whisper, feeling the guilt consume you now. You close your eyes, holding her tighter as she melts against you. “I-I should have talked to you… I shouldn’t have just–”

“It’s fine,” she whispers, cutting you off. “You’re protective of Steve, so I get why you were so mad at me.”

“I shouldn’t have been… I just… I wish I had known about you and Steve before I got those stupid feelings for him.” You blurt out without meaning to.

Nancy draws back instantly, her blue eyes widen, and her jaw drops at your accidental confession.

“Wait…” She whispers, glancing over at the RV to make sure that it’s still just you and her. “Feelings…? Oh… Oh my god! You like Steve–”

You jump forward and cup your hand over her mouth, shushing her as you grow flustered.

You feel a sliver of regret for letting your mouth run, but another part of you feels relief, for letting them out, for having someone to talk about them now.

Your cheeks are burning, and your ears are too. Your heart starts pounding against your ribcage.

“Yes, I do…” You admit, blushing. “But… He doesn’t like girls like me…” Immature girls. He likes women. That’s what Nancy is. And even if he doesn’t feel anything for her anymore, he once did.

The moment that happened between you two earlier. The hope that lives inside of you doesn’t matter here. You are always hopeful about everything. It doesn’t mean that you will get what you want. You rarely do. You just can’t bring yourself to stop hoping, no matter how many times you fall face first.

“He likes girls like you…”

Nancy’s eyes soften at the vulnerability flashing across your features, at the way your shoulders slump in sadness, fearing that you have no chance with him.

But now she gets it even more, why you behaved the way you did. You were jealous and insecure, comparing yourself with her, leading you to let that monster out.

She can’t help but chuckle as she shakes her head at you. “No, he doesn’t.”

You roll your eyes at her.

She says your name softly as she reaches for your hands in your lap.

“He liked me in high school–”

“And after–”

“No, he didn’t.” Nancy shakes her head. “Trust me, he didn’t. We talked about it years ago, and we moved on from that as soon as we did. Now I can’t even imagine that we used to be together. It feels wrong to even think of that, and he feels the same. He truly feels the same.” She tries to put it through that thick head of yours. She takes a deep breath and opens her mouth again. “And that is gonna sound gross considering we used to date, but… You know what Steve feels like to me?”

You raise your eyebrows at her, tilting your head to the side.

She scrunches up her nose and her lips curl downwards in disgust, “he feels like a brother to me now, like an annoying older brother.”

“Oh…” You murmur, your facial expression matching her own. Pure Disgust. And though you can’t help but giggle.

“I know it’s disgusting,” Nancy chuckles as her eyes light up at the crinkle in your eyes. “But that’s how I feel. It’s how he feels too.” She shrugs, holding your hands tighter.

And it does calm you a little, but only a little.

“That… doesn’t mean that he likes me back, though. In fact… I don’t think that I stand a chance.”

“What makes you say that?” She frowns, watching how you look down again. “What if you do have a chance…?”

You roll your eyes again, keeping your eyes trained on the pup. “He once called me insufferable… and I’m also inexperienced. There is nothing that someone like him could want in me.”

“You think your inexperience makes you less attractive, less interesting or something?” Nancy mumbles in confusion, knitting her eyebrows at you.

You shrug.

“That’s… No.” She shakes her head, scoffing. “You are worrying too much about it… Besides, you should have seen the look on his face when you told us that you’re a virgin.”

Her words pique your interest. You haven’t really paid attention to him when you admitted that, you were too flustered to catch his reaction.

You slowly look up at her, your eyes meeting hers again.

“What look…?”

Nancy’s lip curls into a smirk, her eyes flashing with something you can’t read.

“Well… first it was disbelief, like he couldn’t understand how someone like you hasn’t fucked ever before.”

You blush deeply.

“Someone like me?” You ask with a small voice.

Nancy huffs at you, “In case nobody told you, you are hot – like super hot and you are gorgeous too. If you weren’t my best friend, I’d be all up on you.”

“Nancy!” You gasp, blushing even deeper at her words.

She laughs loudly at the flustered look on your face.

“It’s nothing but the truth!”

You are giggling now, looking down with your burning cheeks. You pull the cub closer to you again, snuggling it against your chest.

Nancy gives you a moment, though her eyes never leave your face and the smug smile doesn’t either.

“Second, he looked like he was ready to change that for you… You know, that inexperienced part.”

Nancy laughs loudly when your eyes widen and you try to hide behind your face, growing flustered more than you ever did before.

“N-No he didn’t!” You squeal. Though you can’t deny the fact that her words stir something inside of you, that they don’t fill you with excitement and hope.

Because even if you wouldn’t admit it out loud, you would love it if Steve was the one to be your first… and perhaps your last.

“Oh but he did, sweetie,” Nancy giggles, unable to hide her grin, unable to stop teasing you after this.

You stay outside, sitting beneath the stars and next to the fire with the wolf pup in your lap, unable to stop blushing but also giggling at Nancy’s teasing. For a moment, everything feels so normal, like you are hanging out with your best friend, talking and gushing over your crush.

For a moment, you forget everything that happened today.

For a moment, you let go again.

For a moment everything feels… okay.

Not knowing that tomorrow would change everything.

If only you knew that your hands would be dripping with blood.

☀︎

taglist: @prettyboyeddiemunson @pretentious-blonde @thecreelhouse @tvserie-s-world @thesickestqrmydcll @crispystarfishhottub @sophal22 @definitionwanderlust @talkativecarnation @mysticalwoolenfroglegs @ariesandwolves @mortqlprojections @sattlersquarry @sherrylyn0628 @purpleeyeswithgoldensparkles @micheledawn1975 @keepingitlokiii @littleromanoff2005 @sunshine-mrk @xxladymjxx

#steve harrington x reader #stranger things angst #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington angst #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington fluff #steve harrington #steve harrington smut #steve harrington blurb #grumpy x sunshine

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frenchkisstheabyss · 29 days ago

Text

☆ ａｌｗａｙｓ，ｆｏｒｅｖｅｒ ☆

☆ Pairing: rockstar!boyfriend!wooyoung x chubby!fem!reader

☆ Genre: rocker au/smut/fluff

☆ Word Count: 3.3k

☆ Summary: You and your boyfriend are infamous for being the wildest couple on the rock scene. You do what you want, when you want. You live to raise hell and neither of you are showing any signs of stopping. At least not until you miss your period and it becomes abundantly clear that the party's about to end. So far you've done well keeping it a secret from Woo but the truth has to come out some day and when it does, will he still be standing by you?

☆ Warnings: you're 100% pregnant, reader has a lot of worries about it, breeding kink, mommy/daddy kink, fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, overstimulation, pain kink, oral sex (f receiving), dirty talk, pet names (baby, princess, mommy, daddy), a smidge of angst, a lil man handling, body worship undertones, wooyoung in a crop top (❤️), gets real lovey dovey.

☆ A/N: I'm on a rocker boyfriend thing lately. It's my soft spot. I can't help it. I just wanted some sweet rocker boyfriend Woo being all soft for his girlfriend so here we are. As always, I hope you enjoy reading, my loves.

All that make up,

But it couldn’t hide her fears.

All that beauty,

But it couldn’t stop the tears…

The lyrics to one of your boyfriend’s songs. They loop in your head like a broken record as you lean into the bathroom mirror, swiping another layer of mascara across your lash.

The curtain’s up,

They’re all waiting for you now…

Perform. That’s all you ever do anymore. Your friends think it’s cool dating a rockstar. Sex. Drugs. Rock N Roll. It’s exciting, it’s glamorous, it’s exhausting, and—courtesy of the plus sign on that little test tucked away in your makeup bag—it could all be over.

You and Wooyoung have never talked about living a traditional life together. Marriage, kids, white picket fence. PTA meetings and Sunday dinners. You partied. You got wasted. You wrecked shit and loved every minute of it. So does everyone else.

Wooyoung's friends compliment you on the regular for your ability to keep up with him. “No other girl’s ever matched his crazy the way that you do” they say, “He usually chases them all off by now.”

But you? You stay. Not for the money or for the fame, simply because you love him more than words can express. No man’s ever been so sweet to you, so endlessly passionate. Late at night when you’re all alone he whispers to you that you’re his world. That he could never do any of this without having you by his side.

But what about the baby growing inside of you? Would he love that too or would it be a threat to the lifestyle he’s accustomed to? The thought twists your stomach in knots. There’s no time for this now. The album release party for Wooyoung’s band is in an hour and everyone will expect you to be there with bells on, ready to be the source of another wild story they can tell over breakfast in the morning.

Turning the music up on your phone, you pluck a tube of red lipstick from your bag, puckering your lips to dab it on. If you can’t silence the voices in your head, the least you can do is drown them out.

“You plan on getting dressed anytime soon or you going to the party in a towel?” Wooyoung teases, leaning in the doorway to watch you.

You roll your eyes, too busy putting on the finishing touches to spare him a glance. In truth you can’t bear to look at him. It’s sorta like how Wonder Woman has her lasso of truth. Wooyoung has this way of looking at you—into you—and your lies crumble every single time.

“I don’t know,” you shrug, “Maybe. I might be trying something new.”

Wooyoung sneaks up behind you, lacing his arms around your waist. He rests his chin on your shoulder, softly kissing your neck. “Whatever you wanna do, babe. You know I think you look gorgeous in anything. Plus it’ll be easier to take off later.” Flashing you a playful grin, he eases your towel up, squeezing the lush meat of your thigh.

“Woo, stop it!” you snap, pushing his hand away, “I need to get ready so can you just not?”

You watch his smile drop, your words cutting him like knives. That rumor that artists are sensitive? It’s more than a rumor, it’s a fact, and exhibit A is your boyfriend. You never reject his affection. All he’s ever known from you is warmth but tonight you’re ice cold, your body tensing rather than giving into his touch.

Wooyoung backs away, studying you the way a detective might a suspect. “Something’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong. You’re just paranoid.”

He clicks his tongue, observing the subtle clues in your reflection. Your bottom lip’s quivering, tears gathered in the corners of your eyes. You keep looking up…down…away. You’re running from him without taking a step.

“Can you just look at me for a second?” he asks, the sweetness of his voice betraying the sharpness of his gaze.

You take a deep breath, tossing the lipstick aside. Gripping the edge of the counter, you do as he asks and stare into the mirror, your eyes locking in an instant. Your beautiful boy. You’ve always admired how he can manage to be so masculine and feminine at the same time.

And it’s not just in the way that he can make a crop top and a pair of jeans look like the toughest fit on earth. It’s in the way he carries himself. Rugged yet gentle. Vulnerable yet strong. You wonder if your baby would take after him in that way. Would he want it to? That’s the question that really eats you up inside. Would he want it? Would he want you?

Tears roll down your cheeks, streaking through the foundation you so painstakingly applied. A sound leaves you that you’ve never heard before. A slow, pained whine that comes from somewhere deep in your chest. You turn to face him and he takes you into his arms, making you feel safe in a way that only he can.

“I’m sorry” you sob, face buried in his chest, “Everything’s fucked now and it’s all my fault.”

Wooyoung has only seen you cry a handful of times and he swears it breaks him everytime. “Hey, don’t say that. Nothing’s fucked. If something’s wrong we can fix it but I need you to talk to me.” He cradles your cheeks, tilting your head up to get a good look at you. “You know you can never do anything wrong in my eyes, don’t you? If you needed me to help you bury a body I’d ask for a shovel. I need you to understand that.”

He means what he says, you feel it in your heart, but you can’t bring yourself to utter the words. They form on your tongue and die there as if by not saying it you can stop this from being real. Grabbing your makeup bag, you shuffle through the contents until you find it—the secret your lips can’t fix themselves to bear. The bag falls to the floor, contents scattering at your feet, and all that’s left is a test that you hold with the fragility of a bomb.

Wooyoung squints down at it, unsure what it is you’re holding at first. When reality hits him it knocks the air from his lungs. He’s jumped off of stages, hung upside down from ceilings, but none of it ever came close to this.

“Are you telling me you’re…”

“Pregnant” you sigh, “I missed my period so I thought I’d check and, yeah, according to six different tests I am.”

A tense silence dances between the two of you and a part of you wishes that he’d get it over with already. Reject you. Say he doesn’t want it. That he didn’t sign up for any of this. It’ll tear you apart but at least you’ll know.

Wooyoung rests a hand on your belly, rubbing it through your towel. His expression’s unreadable at first but ever so slowly his lips curve into a smile, “So there’s a little me in there? A little us? And you thought I’d be upset?”

“Aren’t you?” you sniffle, fingers trembling around the test. “You have the tour and your promotions. You’re in a different city every week. How does this fit into that?”

Wooyoung takes it from your hand, setting it aside, “Give me one second. Don’t move.”

“Woo…”

“Don’t move!” he shouts, disappearing down the hallway. You hear a door open and the faint sounds of shuffling. “You always say how impulsive I am and you’re right, I guess there’s some things I could think about more, but I’m not impulsive with everything.” He rushes back into the bathroom, arms hidden behind his back. “Some things I think about a lot and this is one of them.” He drops to his knees in front of you, revealing a small black velvet box in the palm of his hand. “I was gonna do this onstage this summer but the bathroom floor’s just as good, isn’t it?”

You wipe the tears from your eyes just in time to get a crystal clear view of him popping the box open. Inside sits a pear shaped diamond ring on a silver band sized perfectly to fit your finger. It’s the shiniest, prettiest thing you’ve ever laid eyes on and you can’t even begin to process that it’s for you.

“You’re right” he says, removing the ring from the box, “I do have the tour and the promotions. I am in a different city every week but when you’re with me it always feels like I’m home and I want that for the rest of my life…with both of you. So would you maybe, possibly think about marrying me?”

The tears are falling again but this time from an overwhelming sense of joy. One that blooms somewhere deep inside and spreads to every corner of your body. From the end of the world to the rest of your life? It’s enough to give you whiplash.

“I’ll marry you” you manage through the tears. You hold your hand out and Wooyoung slips it into your finger. It slides into place like it was destined to be there. The missing piece to a puzzle that’s slowly been coming together since the day you met.

Never in a million years did Wooyoung imagine you’d say yes. At the same time, he couldn’t even begin to picture a world where you didn’t. How could you ever think that he wouldn’t want a life with you? The man who has a stack of notebooks filled with songs about you. Crowds of thousands scream his name every night but the only voice he hears is yours. Your smiling face always waits for him at the edge of the stage and he looks at you now the same way he did then. Like the whole world centers on you.

You blink and his lips are at yours, your body pressed against the edge of the sink as his tongue intertwines with yours, deepening the kiss. He kisses you patiently…carefully, reveling in the taste of you as if for the first time. His fingertips skim your exposed thigh and this time you don’t dare push him away, a hum of pleasure leaving you as he ventures further inward.

“I look insane right now” you say, your awareness suddenly brought back to the wrecked state of your makeup.

Wooyoung laughs, trailing lipstick stained kisses down your chin, “I don’t know, I kinda like this whole Joker thing you’ve got going on.”

You gasp at his audacity but crack a smile despite yourself. “Oh, fuck you” you say, swinging your knee up to hit him right where it hurts.

Catching it just in time, he holds your leg at his waist, spreading you open to stroke your pussy beneath your towel. A hushed moan flows out of you and his mouth is right back at yours, eager to catch it.

“I’m just messing with you. You’re beautiful” he whispers, his tongue peeking out to lick your lips. “You’re the sexiest woman I’ve ever seen in my life.”

His fingers slip between your velvet folds, closing around your clit until you make that one special noise that lets him know he has you. It’s not quite a moan, not quite a whine. Some melodic combination of the two that’s music to his ears when it finally breaks from you.

Heat pricks at your skin like you’ve stepped too close to a fire and you melt for him, all over his fingers. In a matter of seconds you’re dripping wet, painting his fingers in your glistening arousal. You shiver at the sensation of his knuckles dragging along your entrance, teasing you by pressing in the slightest bit before pulling away.

Wooyoung leans in, breath skimming your neck to give you goosebumps. “You’ll make the prettiest mommy. I’ve always thought that about you. How absolutely radiant you’d look with my baby inside you.”

His confession turns you on. You don’t need to admit it. Your body speaks for itself. Walls clenching around the tips of his knuckles. Nipples stiffening against the soft cotton. Your heart’s beating like a hammer and it only worsens when his fingers ease into you.

“I wanna hear you say it. Say, ‘I’m gonna make the prettiest mommy’” he instructs, the smooth rotation of his wrist too hypnotizing to resist.

“I…I’m gonna make the p-p-prettiest mommy” you stutter, grasping at the marble counter behind you to keep from falling.

Wooyoung pushes his fingers deep into you, guiding you up onto the counter as the pad of his thumb circles your sensitive clit. Resting his forehead against yours, he pumps his fingers in and out of you, soaking your thighs in your essence.

“Hmm, I don’t think you mean it. Make me believe you, baby.”

Your nails tear at the fabric of his shirt, desperate for something to hold onto, “I’ll be the prettiest mommy. The prettiest…mmph…mommy.”

Your back hits the mirror, lashes fluttering away stars as he takes you by the neck, drawing you into another breathless kiss. Wooyoung drags his fingertips across your sweet spot, the muscles of his toned arm flexing the faster he pumps your needy core.

“Can you be a doll and do me a favor?” he asks, making it sound like any old request.

“Honey, pass the salt.”

“Can you hand me the remote please?”

You nod, it’s the only thing you can do when your walls are sucking the nail polish off his fingers. Sliding his hand down to the top of your towel, he gathers the material in his fist, tugging it away from you.

“Hold my hair.”

It’s the last thing he says before his tongue’s at your clit, his free hand reaching up to palm one of your supple breasts. He pinches your nipple—tugging, rolling—all with the perfect amount of pressure to make you clench even tighter. You push the hair back from his face, loose strands framing his sharp features as he leans his head back to gaze up at you.

His tongue’s flicking and curling, a grin painting his face at the bliss radiating from yours. He blows a cool breath against your pussy and a chill skates up your spine. Your fingers knot in his hair, tugging it right from the scalp.

“Pull it harder, mommy” Wooyoung groans, slurping at your cunt between every word. “I’m a big boy. I can take it.”

You pull as hard as you can, nothing held back. You’ve all but scratched your name into this man’s back before. You know better than anyone else how devastatingly hard pain gets him. His cock is throbbing, the need to have you invading every thought that creeps its way into his mind.

Having you but not having you. Tasting you on his tongue but not having you wrapped around his cock. It’s heaven and hell but it’s worth every conflicting feeling to see you hit your peak, hips rocking into his face for more as you come down his hand.

Rushing back to his feet, he undoes his pants with one hand—the other still occupied by your spasming walls. You claw at his wrist, fighting to push him back. He’s far too deep. The pleasure’s too much. You’re falling apart and you can feel it, piece by beautiful piece. Wooyoung drags you to the edge, his cock springing free to replace his soaked fingers. You’re still coming when it slams into you, every thick, hard inch pulsing in all those places his fingers couldn’t reach.

“Woo, too much. I can’t…” you whine, the added stretch dragging your orgasm out even further.

He pouts, feigning sympathy, “But princess, look how good you’re coming for daddy. It’s a wonder how I didn’t get you pregnant sooner when you take my cock so well.”

“You’re supposed to be a nice daddy.”

Cupping your cheek, he brushes his thumb along your bottom lip making it shine with your arousal. “I am a nice daddy. Don’t you feel nice right now?”

Nice is not the word for what this feels like. Ice cream cones are nice. Walks on the beach are nice. Wooyoung bouncing you on his cock until your ears ring isn’t nice. It’s fucking earth shattering.

“Feels so nice, daddy. So…mmph…so nice.”

His hands find your sides, massaging the contours of your figure, and he can’t help but dream of all the ways your body’s about to change. He’s already in love with your body. Every stretch mark. Every curve. But to see you swell up with his baby? To feel how much softer you’ll get—how you’ll glow—it makes him feral.

Every thrust into your plush walls is amplified by a thousand. Warm pearls of precum meld with the remnants of your last orgasm making it slicker. Juicer. The sound of your bodies meeting is borderline filthy and you couldn’t pay him to stop.

“I want you forever” he says, fingertips ghosting your belly, “I want this forever.”

You take his hand, kissing his palm. He’s doing that thing where his eyebrow twitches. His eyes go glossy and he looks so lost, in you to be specific.

“You’ll make a very handsome daddy and a good one too.”

It’s not the dirtiest thing you’ve ever said to him during sex but it’s the sweetest. It hits all the same notes, emotion spreading through him until heat consumes his body. He knows what you mean now about it being too much. His knees are weak, a sheen of sweat forming on his skin as the tip of his cock swells, ropes of white decorating your insides. You rock your hips against his, maintaining the rhythm as he loses it.

“Fill me up, Woo” you beg, pulling him in for a kiss. “Need all of you.”

Tucking his hands behind your knees, he pushes your legs back, bottoming out to give you all of him. If he weren’t kissing you, you’d be drooling. You’re intoxicated by the fullness, no corner of you left unclaimed by him.

You exist in this moment as one. Pulses racing, hearts thumping. You’ve never belonged to each other so completely. You never want this moment to end. Never want this high to fade. Even as it does you stay tied to each other, lips moving weakly as the tension in your bodies softens.

“I love you” he says, giving you a hug that’s adorably innocent for a man who’s still inside of you.

You settle into his arms, smiling to yourself, “Love you too, Youngie.”

Catching a quick glimpse at his reflection he notices that half of your makeup has transferred onto him. “Guess I look like Joker too now. Don’t think I can go to the party like this.”

“Shit, the party!” You grab him by the face, giggling when you notice. “Low key? You’re kinda right. Come here.”

Opening the pack of wipes by your side, you pull one out to clean him up but when you bring it to his face he pushes your hand down.

“Actually, fuck the party. I just wanna stay here with the two of you for a little bit if that’s okay?”

Wooyoung lays his head on your shoulder and you pet his cheek, your earlier worries so far away now that you can hardly recall them. Late night beers are about to turn into baby bottles, all those parties are about to become bedtime stories, and Wooyoung would trade it all in every lifetime to have this with you.

All that make up,

But it couldn’t hide her fears.

And with the three of you together, it’ll never have to.

#ateez x reader #ateez x female reader #wooyoung x reader #wooyoung x you #wooyoung x y/n #wooyoung smut #ateez x y/n #ateez x you #ateez smut #ateez fluff #wooyoung fluff #chubby reader

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nicholasgoodgirl · 9 months ago

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sin? maybe - father charlie

summary: your priest takes you home and it leads to other things

warning: p in v, oral (m receiving), face fucking, after care, virginity loss.

a/n: chat idk how to feel abt this at all and am too scared to read it back. i swear if i spelling his name wrong the whole time. im deleting this acc off the face of the earth

3:23pm

you were waiting in the rain; unbothered than anything. but there was no denying the tempeture change as the rain continued it was beginning to become unbearable. five minutes turning to ten, ten turning to fifteen. your mom still never came

you walked back into the church drenched from all the rain. your white dress sticking to you, it was still cold in the church nonetheless.

"y/n?" you turn around to your name being called "what are you still doing here?" father charlie asked.

"oh my mom never came to get me" she probably drank to much and passed out somewhere, it was embarrassing to admit but thats the only reason you went to church, so you can be far from her and to be nothing like her.

"you're all wet. how long have you been out there?" you shrug at his question. he tilted his head in observation looking you up and down; his eyes lingering longer on your breast.

that would have normally made you uncomfortable if it were anyone else, but it was father charlie and everyone knew him as the 'hot priest' and they weren't wrong either.

he clears his throat "uh I'll give you a ride home" he gave you a quick smile then grabbed his keys off the alter and on the way out grabbing his umbrella.

he put his hand on your lower back guiding you under the umbrella. he gave you the keys so you can unlock the car "why don't you start the car up while you're at it"

"oh i dunno how" you declined the offer politely but he insisted that you did it anyways so he can hold the umbrella for you.

you open the car door and bend over putting the upper half of your body inside the car and trying to start it up like that instead of actually sitting down. the key wouldn't really turn so you put your knee on the seat getting into the car more. while doing this you could gradually feel your dress raise. something in you just knew he was looking up your dress

you give up "i can't get it to start" he lets out a low chuckle and takes the keys from you and gestures for you to get out the car. you hold the umbrella while he gets in the car to start it up. the engine cuts on and he takes the umbrella from you and walks you to the passanger side and shuts the door behind you.

3:34 pm

in the car everything he did and had in his car intrigued you. the way he drives with one hand on the wheel and the other hand rested on his leg. the blankets he had in the backseat, the rosemary cross that was hanging from the rearview mirror

"whats your house adress?" he questioned parking at the stop sign, waiting for your answer.

you shrug again "you don't know where you live?" he probed. you did but it was embarrassing to think about how if your moms boyfriend saw you with a guy he would beat you.

"do you wanna come to my house instead" his question was almost hesitant but i accepted the offer with a smile.

4:01 pm

his house was nothing fancy, the aura of the place was comforting. he started a fire in the fireplace and it set a more warm tone in the room.

"you can use my shower. just walk down the hall, it's to your right. I'll bring you a warm towel and clothes"

you walk down the hall and take a turn to the right and find his bathroom. it was definitely not like the bathroom at your house. it was clean the, the scent of father charlie lingered.

you undress then walk over to the shower putting it on hot. a couple minutes into the warm water hitting your body changing your body temperature from cold to warm there was knocks at the door.

"It's unlocked!" i yelled from the shower. and the door opens "i have no actual clothes that you would probably wear to bed but you can wear one of my shirts" ,,don't even worry about it" you reassure

it didn't matter to you, you actually liked the idea of prancing around in that mans shirt. you couldn't forgive yourself for how bad you wanted him to fuck you in the shower.

"well call me if you need anything" he opens the door to leave out. "wait!- wait.. father charlie"

"you can just call me charlie" he corrects. "could you maybe talk to me about your day or anything i don't wanna be alone right now"

you could hear father charlie chuckle at the question "sure. why not"

he began talking about his day while i cleaned myself off. he went into detail about how he made his breakfast and how precise everything had to be. meanwhile i just couldn't get the thought of him talking me through sex.

"you're doing so well"

"how does that feel"

"you need me to slow down" the thought didn't stop it felt so wrong but you needed him. you were giving him hums to let him know you were still listening.

you turn the water off "can you hand me my towel" your hand reaches out of the curtain and you can feel the towel being placed in your hand "thank you"

"can i-" he was cut off by you walking out the shower with just your towel on. he cleared his throat "I'm gonna go" he reached for the door but you grabbed his arm and stopped him.

"will you stop it" he snaps. both his hands grab your arm "stop! im trying so hard not to sin but for fucks sake you're making it nearly impossible"his words comes flying out faster than you could process

"oh.." you mumbled. "y'know we can do something about your little problem" you look down at the buldge in his pants.

he wasnt wearing his vestmant anymore he was just in a black button up with some black formal pants making it more noticeable.

"fucking hell" he grumbled, rolling his eyes. "such a slut. i thought you would have been good. looked so pure" he spat almost like it wasn an insult. "guess not"

"have you ever touched youreslf?" the question wasnt one you would like to answer cause you always felt shame afterwards but nodded anyways avoiding eyes contact; not proud of your doings.

"of course you do" he breathed out "on your knees" ,,what?" you question unsure if you heard him right

"baby you have been so sweet to me so far and I'd hate it if i have to repeat myself"

you drop to your knees and he unbuckles his belt not breaking eye contact with you once. father charlie pulls his pants down and his underwear.

you grab his dick and put it in your mouth. hallowing your cheeks out "look at you taking me so well" he tangles his hand in your hair, grabbing ahold of it and pushing your head forward causing you to gag; you could feel him touching the back of your throat.

"lord please forgive me" he whispered so low it's a suprise you even heard the words come out his mouth

at this point he was just fucking your face, he was watching as his cock disappeared into your mouth. after a while your eyes began to water.

he pulls you away from him "stand up" ,,did i do something wrong?" you ask, letting your towel drop, standing to your feet. wanting to fix any mistake you made along the way. "no sweetheart, you did just fine i just wanna be inside you instead"

he turns you over but you weren't as thrilled about this as he probably was. you were a virgin and too scared to tell him.

he bends you over the counter and you grab ahold of it for support. he lines himself up with you and pushes in

"so fucking tight" he groaned. "wait-" you hit the counter top with your hand "please just wait" you whine

he stops what he's doing and waits for your signal to go "you can move.." my words come out sounding almost strangled.

he pushed in and out of you and for a second you can hear his breath hitch "are you on your period?"

"what!? no" you look behind you and see his lips slowly curl into a smirk "you're a virgin aren't you?" ,,mhm" you nod "even better" he gloated

you could feel his dick hit a spot that made your toes curl. the burning sensation goes away with each rut. you let a few whimpers slip and a grunt with every thrust; your body jolting forward.

he gripped your hips tightly to allow himself to pound into you. you could have sworn you felt his tip hit your cervix.

the sounds of skin slapping against eachother flooded the bathroom "you're such a slut. letting your priest fuck you over a bathroom counter"

he pulled your hair back putting you into a deeper arch, to hit your sweet spot. a guttural moan leaves your lips "oh fuck" you moan.

father charlies hand goes down to your clit rubbing firm circles, sharp uneven breaths pulled through you as you could feel your orgasm approching.

with no warning his warm seed coats your insides, as he rides out his high. his fingers continues to rub in circular motion which makes you finish next; unfolding right there.

you hold his hand to stop him. "im done i can't take anymore" you whisper.

"im sure" he pulls out letting a hiss escape, then walks over to the shower and letting the water run again. the both of you get in and shower together.

he got done before you and while you were still getting clean he made you a snack.

5:59 pm

you two were laid in bed. your head resting on father charlies chest while he traces light shapes on your skin.

"what do i tell my mom" you ask. "whatever you want sweet girl" he kissed your head. what were you gonna tell your mom, you were with another man in his shirt. and overall he's the priest of the church you go to.

#nicholas chavez x reader #nicholas alexander chavez #nicholas chavez smut #father charlie #father charlie × reader #father charlie smut #father charlie mayhew

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wandanatsgf · 2 months ago

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Inappropriate Feelings Part 2

Pairing: WandaNat x Reader

Word Count: 1.3k

Summary: Wanda and Natasha learn that before you got together you had heard them having sex. They proceed to tease you about it before they reenact what you heard, this time with you included

Warning this contains: strap on use, teasing, mommy kink, daddy kink, praise kink, oral sex, degradation, spanking, orgasm control, Wanda is a switch, Natasha is a dom, Reader is a sub

Authors Note: this can be read as a standalone. this is just scraped content from Inappropriate Feeling that I wrote but ultimately cut because I felt like it didn’t work in the story. I had so much cut material I figured I might as well rework it into a second part!

Part 1

"How'd you even know about my daddy kink detka?" Natasha asks one night, referencing the first time the three of you slept together. The three of you are lying in bed after a long night of fucking, everyone’s body completely spent.

Everyone is covered in a thin layer of sweat, skin sticky but none of you care. You’re lying on your side on Natasha’s chest, her hand playing with your hair. Wanda is on the other side of you, holding you from behind.

The question had been on her mind for a while. Were you just that in tune to the two of them that you knew what she liked? Did Wanda tell you telepathically? Natasha is truly curious.

It takes you a second to realize what Natasha just asked you. Your face instantly flushes.

"I might have heard you and Wanda going at it before," you say, burying your face in the crook of Natasha's neck, a blush covering your face.

"Dirty girl," Natasha teases.

"I can't help it, you two were loud," you try to explain, your blush an even deeper shade. But Wanda, ever the mind reader, can see your thoughts. See how you had touched yourself to the thought of them. See how you felt guilty afterwards, and she wants to change that. She projects her thoughts to Natasha, who nods in agreement.

"Aww its okay baby. You just wanted to be a little perv and hear us huh?” It’s Wanda who speaks that time, joining in on the teasing. She pulls your head out of Natasha’s neck and forces you to look at her. She readjusts you so that you’re facing her now, laying on your side.

“You wanna tell us what else you heard?” Wanda’s right hand brushes down your side. Your breath hitches as she gets close to where you want her before she pulls her hand back.

“Wanda,” you whine.

“That’s not my name baby,” she says correcting you.

“Mommy.”

“Good girl,” she praises. Her words go to your core, reigniting your need.

“You gonna answer mommy’s question? What else did you hear?” It’s Natasha who speaks this time. She’s behind you, hand around your throat.

“I heard daddy fucking mommy,” you manage to say in your lustful state.

“Yeah? Did you like it baby?”

“Yea Daddy I loved it,” you admit which is the truth. After you had accidentally heard them you had to go take a cold shower. And then when that didn’t work you touched yourself to the thought of them. Sure you had felt gross about it afterwards, but it felt good in the moment.

Wanda’s hand moves towards your core, hands slowly moving down your body while Natasha talks.

“You wanna see it this time, not just hear it?”

“Please,” you beg.

“She means it Natty. She’s soaking wet,” Wanda says, swiping two fingers through your folds and then bringing them up to Natasha’s face, who licks them clean, savoring your taste.

“Lay back on the bed by the headboard detka,” Natasha says. You reposition yourself while Natasha walks to the closet. Wanda positions herself so she’s in between your legs, face down and ass up.

She’s so close you can feel her breath against your bare heat. You try to move closer to her, but she takes both hands and holds you down.

“No baby. Not yet,” she reprimands.

“Mommy,” you whine out, which leads to Wanda pinching your thigh in warning. You don’t push your luck anymore, you just sit there and wait for Nat.

Natasha walks back out, a pitch black strap on attached to her hips.

“You wanna show our pretty girl how much of a slut you are for me?” Natasha asks Wanda. Nat’s shocks you, you’ve never seen Wanda bottom before, but it turns you on all the same.

“Yes daddy,” Wanda says. She wiggles her hips, wanting Natasha closer. Natasha responds with a slap on Wanda’s butt cheek.

“Stay still and eat our pretty girl out,” Natasha commands. Wanda obeys and dives into your pussy making you squeal. Your hand wraps itself into her hair, pulling her closer.

“Mommy,” you moan out. Your legs clamp around Wanda’s head, smushing her between your thighs.

While Wanda devours you, her lips suctioning around your clit, Natasha leans down, standing behind Wanda. She runs a finger through the younger woman’s wet pussy.

“Fuck you’re soaked,” Natasha murmurs. She lines her strap up with Wanda’s entrance and pushes in. As she pushes in a wet squelching sound fills the room. Wanda moans into your pussy, sending vibrations through you.

“Please,” you beg. Your head tilts back and your eyes shut, you’re so close. You just need a couple more licks and you’d fall over the edge.

“You don’t get to cum yet baby. You wanted to watch daddy fuck mommy so watch us,” Natasha commands. Wanda pulls her head back from your core, letting you calm down.

“Fuck daddy,” Wanda yells out when Natasha hits that spot inside of her.

“You like that my little slut?” Natasha asks, relentlessly pounding into Wanda. You had never seen Wanda be this submissive before, but you would be lying if you said you didn’t like it.

Wanda moves her head back to your pussy, tongue running and teasing through your folds. But your eyes stay glued to the scene in front of you. Natasha thrusting into Wanda, Wanda moaning into your pussy with every thrust.

You can tell she’s close, and you are too.

Your thighs clench around Wanda’s head while Wanda’s pussy clenches around Nat’s strap.

“Cum for me darlings. Soak my strap like a good little slut. Cum all over mommy’s face,” she says. Wanda cums immediately, body shaking and toes curling. Her moans vibrating though you send you into an orgasm, your body thrashing as the pleasure courses through you.

Once Wanda settles down Natasha slides out and takes the strap off, throwing it off to the side to be cleaned latter.

She goes to the bathroom while Wanda gets up and adjusts the two of you so that you are holding each other. Your heads are lying against the pillows while you wait for Tasha.

The two of you make small talk while waiting, whispering sweet nothings to each other.

“Spread your legs darlings,” Nat says when she walks back in, cloth and water in hands. Both of you spread your legs and Natasha cleans you up. She’s gentle, wiping up any sticky mess. She throws the cloths into the hamper and then hands the two of you water, which you both take big gulps of.

“Good girls,” Natasha praises. She sits down in between the two of you, holding you both with one arm.

The three of you lay in each others arms, content to hold each other when you have a thought.

“You two knew I was there that day, didn’t you?” The realization strikes you suddenly. No one has ever heard the three of you before and you had never heard them after that day. They had to have done it on purpose you realize.

“Of course we knew baby. Why do you think we were so loud?” It’s Natasha who speaks, a teasing lilt to her voice.

“I hate you two,” turning your face away from Nat to burrow your face into your pillow.

“No you don’t, you love us,” Wanda says, leaning over Nat to leave a kiss on your exposed cheek.

“That I do.” Your voice comes out weirdly, your face smushed against the pillow.

“We love you too,” they both say at the same time. Your heart fills with affection for the two women. It’s not the first time they have said those words to you. But each time they say it, it fills with you with a soft, fuzzy feeling.

The three of you hold each other, spending hours talking until the three of you fall asleep in each others arms.

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coolemmasulivan2 · 4 months ago

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A Beautiful Mess | 1

Pairing: Lando Norris x Reader

Summary: Two neighbors who can’t stand each other, until an accidental kiss changes everything.

Word count: 2846

You can read part 2 here, part 3 here and part 4 here.

But close ain't close enough 'Till we cross the line So name a game to play And I'll roll the dice, hey

You and Lando Norris had a problem with each other. There was no denying it. Something about the other person made your skin prickle with irritation, like an itch you couldn't scratch.

You were a Monegasque kindergarten teacher, a job that suited you perfectly. You adored kids. Their joy and innocence made your life simpler.

Monaco had always been your sanctuary: peaceful, elegant, yours. But that changed the moment Lando moved in next door a few years back.

You got along with everyone. It was just who you were. Friendly, patient, easygoing. But him? He was the exception. Loud, cocky, and an absolute menace of a neighbor. Even if he spent most of the year traveling, when he was home, he made sure you knew. The roaring engines, the late-night laughter, the endless stream of people coming and going. It was chaos wrapped in luxury.

He could've lived anywhere. He had the money. But somehow, out of all the places in Monaco, he chose your building.

"I guess Lando's back?" Your sister said, raising an eyebrow as loud music blasted from the apartment next door.

You let out a deep sigh, chopping vegetables with more force than necessary. "He's been back for a while… unfortunately."

A smirk tugged at her lips. "Let me guess, he did something already?"

"Oh, just parked in my spot today. Again." You shot her an exasperated look before slamming the knife against the cutting board. "Someday I'll kill him. I swear."

She chuckled. "Maybe he's running out of places to park his collection."

"I don't care!" You huffed. "He's a billionaire, he can buy a garage. Or better yet, move to a bigger place and stop being my problem."

"You know he does all of this just to piss you off, right?" Your sister said as she sat at the dining table, watching you set down the salad. "You should just ignore him."

"I know!" You groaned, sinking into the chair across from her. "But I can't. He's impossible to ignore. He knows exactly how to push my buttons."

Lando and Max were deep into a racing simulator session, music blasting through the apartment as they waited for their food to be ready.

It was Max's turn on the sim, but the pounding music was messing with his concentration. "Dude, the music... turn it down." He grumbled, eyes locked on the screen.

Lando barely glanced up from his phone. "Why?"

"Because I can't focus! It's too damn loud." Max tried to keep his attention on the race. "Someone's going to complaine about the noise." Then a thought struck him. He paused the race and shot Lando a knowing look. "Wait a second… You want this, don't you?"

Lando shrugged. "No idea what you're talking about."

Max scoffed. "Bullshit. You're trying to piss her off. You want her to came here. That's why the music's so loud. What's your problem with her?"

Lando smirked, eyes flicking back to his phone. "It's fun watching her all worked up."

Max shook his head, half amused, half exasperated. "You know, she's actually really nice."

Lando snorted. "To you and everyone else. Not to me."

"Yeah, because you're an asshole."

Lando finally dropped his phone onto the desk and leaned back in his chair. "She's been like that since day one. She started it."

"And instead of finding out why, you just decided to make things worse." Max said, shaking his head. "Classic you!"

Before Lando could fire back, a knock on the door echoed through the apartment.

His smirk widened. "Told you, she can't stay away." He pushed up from his seat, heading for the door.

Max groaned, calling after him, "Dude, be nice, please!"

You bit your nails, pacing as you waited for Lando to answer his door. Normally, you were a calm and patient person. But Lando Norris had a talent for bringing out the absolute worst in you. And the worst part? He enjoyed it. You knew he did.

Inside your apartment you heard the door finally open.

"Hi!" Your sister's voice rang out, soft and sweet, just like she always was. Unlike you, she had never raised her voice in frustration, not even to assholes like Lando.

"Oh, hi!" Lando's voice dripped with warmth, and you immediately rolled your eyes. Of course, he could turn on the charm when he wanted to.

"Sorry to bother you…"

"No problem!" He said. You nearly gagged.

"Could you turn the music down a little?" Your sister asked politely.

"Yeah, of course. Sorry about that, I didn't even realize it was that loud. Really, I'm so sorry."

Your jaw nearly hit the floor.

You had stood at his door countless times, asking the same thing, and every single time, he would gave you a cocky remark, or worst of all, he'd turned the music up louder just to spite you. But with your sister? He was suddenly the picture of politeness.

You were seconds away from storming out of your apartment to tell him exactly what you thought of his two-faced behavior, but your sister's voice stopped you.

"I appreciate it. Goodnight."

"Goodnight!" Lando replied smoothly. You let out a deep breath, leaning your head against the wall in frustration. Your sister had just started pushing the door open when Lando added: "Oh, and say hi to your sister for me."

That was it. You clenched your fists, shoving past your sister, ready to wipe that smug grin off his face, but before you could get a single word out, his door clicked shut.

"I hate him so much."

From the other side of the door, Lando grinned like an idiot, watching you through the peephole as you stomped away in frustration.

"There's just something special about pissing her off." He mused, clearly enjoying himself.

Max, standing behind him with his arms crossed, let out a sigh. "You're an idiot."

Two days had passed since your sister left for Rome, where she lived with her boyfriend. You were alone again, not that it bothered you. Your parents still lived in Monaco, in the house you grew up in, and you saw them almost every day.

One of the things you loved most about Monaco was being so close to the ocean. Every morning, as soon as you opened your bedroom window, you would close your eyes and breathe it in—the salty air, the gentle breeze, the familiar scent that made you feel at home. It was the perfect way to start the day, making your morning run that much easier.

Like always, before heading to work, you laced up your shoes and stepped outside. Today was no exception.

You had been running for a while, sweat clinging to your skin as your breath fell into a steady rhythm. The music playing softly in your ears didn't drown out the sounds of the city.

Lost in thought, you instinctively turned toward your building, crossing the road without a second glance.

The loud sound of tires screeching against the asphalt snapped you out of your trance. A rush of air whooshed past as a sleek car came to a sudden stop just inches from you. Your heart leaped into your throat, your body reacting before your mind caught up. You stumbled back and before you could stop yourself, you were on the ground.

The driver's side door swung open, and before you even looked up, you knew exactly who it was.

Lando stepped out, his expression a mix of worry and frustration, but before he could speak, you were already pushing yourself to your feet, your hands shaking slightly from the adrenaline.

"Are you insane?" You snapped, ripping your airpods out. "You almost ran me over!"

His brows shot up. "Me? You're the one who ran straight into the road without looking!"

You opened your mouth to argue, but the truth of his words sank in. Still, there was no way you were letting him win this. "Maybe if you weren't driving like a lunatic--"

Lando scoffed, running a hand through his hair. "Driving like a lunatic? I was literally pulling out of the garage."

You huffed, brushing the dirt off your leggings. "What if it was a kid crossing instead of me?"

"Then I would've stopped, just like I did now." He shot back. "But you... You didn't even look before stepping onto the road! What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that I wouldn't have to worry about being flattened by my obnoxious neighbor before eight in the morning!"

Lando shook his head, a smirk tugging at his lips. "You're unbelievable."

"You're infuriating."

"You're dramatic."

"You're--"

"Y/n?" A new voice cut through the tension, making both of you turn. Standing a few feet away was your kindergarten director. Dressed in his usual grey suit, he raised an eyebrow at the two of you. "Is everything alright?" He asked.

You cleared your throat, suddenly aware of how ridiculous this must have looked, standing in the middle of the street, flustered, sweaty, and arguing with a F1 driver.

"Yes, everything's fine!" You said quickly, forcing a polite smile.

Monsieur Bernard nodded, then glanced at Lando. "I didn't realize you knew such a famous driver, Y/n!" He stretched his hand and Lando shook it.

You resisted the urge to roll your eyes. "We're just neighbors."

Lando grinned. "Very close neighbors."

You shot him a glare, but before you could say anything, Monsieur Bernard continued. "You know, our little ones love racing. It would be wonderful if you could visit the school sometime, talk to the kids about it."

"Oh!" You forced a polite chuckle. "I'm sure Lando is far too busy. I wouldn't want to take up his time."

Lando, to your absolute horror, shrugged. "Actually, I think it's a great idea." You snapped your head toward him, eyes wide. "Yeah, why not? I've got some time before the season starts again. I'd love to come by."

Monsieur Bernard smiled. "That's wonderful! Y/n, can you please set everything up?" You smiled and nodded. "Thank you, Mr. Norris. It was nice to meet you."

"Likewise." As Monsieur Bernard walked away, you groaned, rubbing your temples. Lando chuckled, slipping his hands into his pockets. "See? I can be a good neighbor."

You exhaled sharply, turning on your heel toward your building. "I hope the kids throw paint at you."

Lando chuckled, watching you storm off, clearly frustrated with how the day had started. His gaze lingered for a moment longer than necessary and not even he could deny that your ass looked good on those leggings.

"Stop it, Lando!" He muttered to himself, shaking his head as if it would physically shake the thoughts away. "Don't go there."

With a deep breath, he slid back into his car, gripping the steering wheel a little tighter than necessary. Without another glance at the building, he drove off.

You lay in bed, scrolling through your phone, hoping to lull yourself to sleep. The soft glow of the screen was the only light in the room, your thumb moving lazily over the screen, until something in your feed made you pause.

Your eyes narrowed as you clicked on the reel. A fan edit of your annoying neighbor filled your screen, all set to a song that did nothing to make him look innocent. Quite the opposite.

Your breath hitched slightly, your eyes locked on the video as if trapped in some kind of trance. The way he carried himself, the confidence, the effortless charm-- No. Absolutely not.

The reel restarted, snapping you out of whatever trance had just taken over you. With a horrified gasp, you jolted upright, tossing your phone onto the bed like it had burned you.

"Ugh-- no. What the hell?" You threw a pillow at your phone, like the device was alive. "Even on my phone?" You groaned, burying your face in your hands.

This man was infiltrating every corner of your life. And you hated it.

The day had arrived.

The kids had been buzzing with excitement all week, their energy doubling ever since they learned that Lando Norris was coming to visit. It didn't matter that half of them were too young to understand F1, but the mere idea of someone fast and famous coming to their school had them bouncing off the walls. You, on the other hand, were bracing yourself for chaos.

You had done your best to keep the kids calm, but by the time the morning rolled around, they were practically vibrating with anticipation. What car does he drive? Will he let us race? Can he do drive in the playground?

And then, Lando arrived. Dressed in his McLaren clothes, sunglasses and wearing that signature smile.

The kids lost their minds. "Landoooooo!" The group rushed toward him, bombarding him with questions before he could even say a word.

"Whoa, whoa, one at a time!" Lando laughed, crouching down to be at their level.

You stood at a distance, arms crossed, watching as he handled the chaos with surprising ease.

"Can you drive faster than Batman?"

"Can we race you?"

"Do you get scared when you go super fast?"

Lando hesitated for a second, then grinned. "Sometimes! But that's what makes it exciting."

You rolled your eyes. Still, you couldn't deny that the kids adored him. They hung onto their seats, eyes wide with fascination as he described what it felt like to race at over 300 km/h, how he trained, and even how he sometimes got nervous before big races.

Somewhere in the middle of the chaos, you realized that Lando was actually good at this. He had their full attention, something you usually had to work twice as hard for.

And then, as if sensing your thoughts, he caught your eye from across the room and winked, making you gag.

Unfortunately for Lando, someone else caught the moment.

A little girl sitting nearby tilted her head curiously, her big eyes flicking between the two of you. "Is Miss Y/n your girlfriend?" She asked innocently.

Lando, who had just taken a sip of water, immediately started coughing. He nearly choked, hand flying to his chest as he struggled to recover. "What?"

You, on the other hand, wanted the earth to swallow you whole. The rest of the kids, now very interested, turned toward you both with excited expressions.

"Is that why you're here?" Another girl asked, eyes wide with curiosity.

"Do you live together?" A boy asked before Lando could even recover from the first question.

Lando, still slightly choking, looked horrified.

"Nope!" You cut in quickly, clapping your hands together in a desperate attempt to redirect the conversation. "Who wants to show Lando their artwork?"

A chorus of Me! Me! Me! erupted, and just like that, the kids forgot all about their matchmaking attempts, eagerly rushing to grab their drawings.

You let out a slow breath, glancing at Lando, who was still lightly hitting his chest.

"What the hell just happened?" He asked, his voice still uneven.

You crossing your arms. "They're kids, Lando! If you wink at their teacher, this is what you get."

"A vision of a nightmare?"

You shot him a glare. "Asshole!"

He smirked. "Such a dirty mouth for a kindergarten teacher."

Your jaw clenched. You took a deep breath, forcing a smile as sweet as honey. "And yet, still more mature than a F1 driver."

Lando grinned, leaning in just a little. "Debatable."

Before you could walk away from Lando, chaos erupted.

"Me first!"

"No, me!"

Two of the kids appeared out of nowhere, each clutching their artwork, too focused on their battle to notice where they were going. Straight into you.

You barely had time to react before they crashed into your legs, making you lose balance.

"Oh--"

Lando was sat in a chair right in front of you, and before you could steady yourself, you stumbled forward and fell right into him.

His hands instinctively came up to catch you, but it was too late. Your lips brushed against his. It was barely a touch, but enough to make the world stop.

The kids were still yelling, the classroom still buzzing with energy, completely unaware of what had just happened, but all you could register was the way your lips were still touching.

You quickly pulled back, eyes wide, heart racing. Lando blinked up at you, looking just as stunned, his lips slightly parted as if he wanted to speak but couldn’t find the words.

You straightened, feeling warmth creeping up your neck,

"This is my drawing." One of the kids said, tugging at Lando's sleeve. "It's a boat and this is my dad."

That snapped Lando out of it. He cleared his throat and looked away from you. "Wow, that's amazing! You're so talented."

You turned away quickly, your pulse still hammering as you focused on the children, pretending like nothing had happened.

Lando rubbed the back of his neck, still looking anywhere but at you.

For once, there were no smirks, no teasing, just the feeling that something between you had just shifted.

#f1 #lando norris imagine #lando imagine #lando x you #lando norris x you #lando norris #lando x reader #lando norris x reader #lando norris x y/n #ln4 fic #ln4 imagine #ln4

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kilojulietsierra · 3 months ago

Text

I Don't Have A Best Friend (Dr Abbot & Dr Robby and their 'not friends' friendship)

Summary: The universe put them together in this hell hole and they made the best of it. They are like brothers/best friends... that doesn't mean they always have to be happy about it. Especially when Jack's wife decides she needs to set Robby up with a cute nurse friend.

(Honestly this one is for fun because I love them both, but ALSO this one sets up my next fic which will be Dr Robby x Reader.)

TW: this one is honestly pretty fun, tame and fluffym sarcastic doc bros, mentions of age gap, male friendships, Jack and his wife have basically, taken Robby in like a stray puppy, nerves about being set up on blind date, Dana and Jacks wife are in cahoots, some allusions to smut, healthy established relationship, alcohol

Features Dr Jack Abbott x nursewife!ofc from "Send Me An Angel" if you would like to check that out CLICK HERE!

~~~~~

Jack and Robby stood on opposite sides of the counter as Jack packed up his bag, "Chairs is packed, no shocker there. You got homeless guy vs car in South 7 waiting to go up, West 2 is a college kid, pumped his stomach, just gotta wait for him to come back around, PD should be here soon to talk to the guy in Central 7. Strange case of selective amnesia." When Robby cocked an eyebrow Jack looked up from his phone, "Can't seem to remember how he ended up to two nine mil slugs in his leg."

Robby shook his head, "Hate when that happens. What else we got?"

Jack checked his phone again and then shoved it in his pocket, "Oh yeah, North 5, surgery should be hear any minute for him. Was cleaning the ceiling fan, naked,"

"As one does." Robby interjected.

"and fell on the TV remote."

Robby gave a low whistle and shook his head, trying not to chuckle. "Perf?"

"Lucky for him, no." Jack grabbed his truck keys and slung his backpack over his shoulder. "If the wife shows up, have someone show her up to the surg floor waiting area. He can explain it to her when he wakes up or surgery can."

"Can't wait." Robby took probably the last drink of his still hot coffee he would get then called after his colleague, "See you Sunday right?"

WIthout turning around or even slowing down his steps Jack called back a simple, "Yeah."

~~~

Robby parked in the driveway behind Jacks truck and walked in through the garage. He let himself in and called out, "Knock, knock!"

Almost immediately Sam called back, "Hey! come on in!" He found her in the living room folding a blanket and tidying up,

"Hey sweetheart." Robby walked over to her and gave her a hug which she gladly returned. "Good to see you."

"Good to see you too." She tossed the blanket over the back of the couch, "Jack's out back. Make yourself at home, beer in the fridge in the garage, think he opened a bottle of bourbon too." Then she was off to some other room like she was on a mission.

Robby smiled. He had always liked Jacks wife, God knew how he found the one woman on the planet that would put up with him but he did it. He knew the way around their house so he walked to the patio door and let himself out.

The patio had a stone fireplace and a TV, some monstrosity of a grill, bbq, smoker combination and an outdoor couch and chairs. The TV was on the pregame, commentary already going, and Jack was stretched out on 'his' corner of the couch.

He looked tired, annoyed even at having to be awake while the sun was out. "Hey brother," He spared Robby only a glance then went back to the TV, "Grab a drink." Jack motioned to the bourbon on the table and the lone empty glass.

"How was last night?" Robby reached for the bottle, read it with a nod and popped the top off to pour himself a couple fingers. "Fuckin' sucked." He sipped his bourbon and sat up a little straighter on the couch, "Shen get's on my fuckin' nerves some days."

Robby lauged as he dropped down into one of the chairs, "I can see that."

"If he wasn't so damn unflappable I'd hate him." "

You hate everyone."

"I'd hate him extra."

He chuckled again and let his gaze shift to the TV, "House smells good."

Jack finally looked his way, "Sam started some chilli last night, she was off."

"Oh hell yeah." Not only did his wife have the patience of an angel and the backbone of a strongside linebacker, she could fucking cook. "Is it the one with the brisket and venison and all that?"

His friend slowly nodded.

"Hell yeah." Robby repeated himself and sipped at the bourbon.

The patio door swung open and Samantha appeared dressed in scrubs. "Alright you two play nice, don't wreck my house."

"Yes ma'am." Jack and Robby mumbled in unison.

She chuckled as she came around the couch and braced a knee on the cushion so she could lean over Jack and give him a kiss. He reached up and put a hand on her hip and chased after a second kiss. "Have a good night."

Robby had to avert his gaze to avoid feeling like a creep. "I'll try." She gave him one last kiss then stood up, Jacks hand slipping slowly from her hip as she pulled away.

"Text me when you get there." He added as he watched her walk around to the back of the couch.

"I will." She combed her fingers through her husbands curls once as she passed behind him.

Robby had to look away again to focus on the TV. He looked up when he felt a hand on his shoulder as Sam gave it a squeeze. He gave her a smile, "Have fun." He gave it a teasing, lilty little tune as he said it and earned a grin back.

"You know I try." She gave his shoulder a last squeeze and was gone.

~~~~~~

A short while later Jack pulled his phone out of his pocket as it chimed. Sam must have made it to work. He snorted and put the phone down on the couch next to him.

"What?" Robby knew him too well, he had a bad feeling.

Jack sighed, sipped his bourbon, and never looked away from the Steelers playing. "She wants to set you up with someone."

"Jesus Jack."

"Don't bitch at me. I said she wants too, you can stay miserable and alone for all care."

"Does she really think i'm that hopeless."

"Apparently."

"Do you two, just, not remember what happened last time?" Robby kept his eyes glued to the TV, but couldn't even tell who hod possession of the ball.

Jack scoffed, "You and Collins were good." He took a sip of his drink and smirked into the glass, "Until you weren't."

"Fuck off. Besides, that ship has sailed." Robby looked down at the glass in his hand, "Just, give it a rest brother." He paused to take a sip, "We can't all find the love of our life in a war zone at 29."

His friend actually laughed, though it had a little darkness behind it, "Like a God damned fairy tale." He knocked back the last of his bourbon and sat up to stretch for the bottle.

Deciding they were committed to this conversation, because he knew good and well Sam wouldn't let it go, therefore neither could Jack, "She get's it though. Any woman I've ever… got close to… this fucking job…"

Jack looked his way with his usual frown and nodded, "This fucking job." He leaned back into the cushions, "Just let her try man. You know she won't let it go."

"Fuck me… She really thinks I'm hopeless."

"She's wanted to do it since you and Janey, but I've been holding her off."

"Gee thanks." Robby scoffs and scratches at his beard.

They were quiet for a long moment. The Steelers actually ran a touchdown, so they had something else to focus on.

Jacks phone dings again and he looks at it, his lips twitch up for barely a second as he texts her back. No doubt it's Sam. "It helps you know."

The softness in his voice catches Robby off guard. That tone is reserved for students, for kids that come in to the ER scared and hurting.

He expounded, "Havin' someone, it helps."

Robby thought long and hard, finished his own drink, and responded, "Not in my experience."

~~~~~

"What'd he say?" Sam's voice carried over the running water of the shower.

"Leeave the guy alone." Jack picked up his razor and waited before he turned it on, stood with it raised halfway to his face.

"Well, not like he's gonna do it himself."

"Babe..." He warned as be flipped the razor on and cleaned up the stubble from a couple days off in a row.

The shower shut off, "He's a great guy. He's good looking, he's intelligent, he's sweet and funny, a badass doctor.

Jack tipped his chin up to get his neck, "Somethin' I should know?" He watched her in the mirror as she stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel.

She gave him a look as she came up behind him and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Shut up." She bit the back of his shoulder a little harder than necessary, then pressed a kiss to the same spot. "Do you know how many hours of my life I've spent listening to girls complain about how there's no good men left?" She watched over his shoulder as wiped his freshly shaven face, "Too many." She kissed him between the shoulder blades and squeezed him a little tighter, the fingers of her right hind tracing a shape over his hip.

He saw the thought cross her mind, her eyes giving her away as her fingers drifted a little closer towards the illiac furrow. Jack set the shaver down and caught her hand before it dipped any lower and started something they didn't have time to finish.

Behind him she grinned mischeviously and nipped at his shoulder again. WIth a hard look her way in the mirror he pulled her arms tighter around him, her damp, warm skin so soothing against his own. "We both know you're going to do it regardless of what I think."

"You know me so well." She mumbles her response into his shoulder as she hugs him tight.

~~~~~

"Wake up." Robby slapped Abbot on the chest as he took the seat next to him.

Jack, who sat slouched back in one of the conference room chairs with his arms crossed and his chin tucked to his chest, eyes closed, did not move an inch. "I'm awake."

With a chuckle Robby set the second cup of coffee he brought in front his friend. "Long night?"

"Night was fine, last hour sucked." He finally cracked his eyes open and reached for the coffee. "Cops chased a kid in a stolen car across the seventh street bridge. He 1050ed and took five other cars out with him. We saw nine MVC patients 40 minutes before end of shift."

"Love that. Weekend off?"

"Mhmm. Soon as this shit show is over." Abbot took another sip of coffee and let his eyes slip closed again as Gloria began the monthly attendings meeting. Less than two minutes into her spiel Abbot leaned over, "Why do I have to be here again?"

"Theoretically speaking," Robby whispered back, "You are in a possition of authority."

"Could've fooled me."

Robby snorted out a laugh and hid it by drinking some of his coffee. Next to him he heard a phone vibrate and he watched out the corner of his eye as Jack pulled his out and read a text. When he smirked Robby's interest piqued. Jack held his phone out to show him.

it was a text from Sam, or as the contact at the top of the screen read: Sam Abbott green heart emoji Wife/ICE. The text read, "Hope your circus monkey training goes by fast. Tell Robby she asked about him again last night."

Robby scowled, "Too early for that shit man."

"She won't let it go, you know that."

"Gentlemen," Gloria raised her voice from the head of the table. "Is my meeting interrupting your little chat?" She scolded them like boys in primary school.

With his most charming tone Robby raised his own voice to match her, "We were actually just discussing a recent study on emergency department staff burnout rates."

Jack, face stone cold and sour added without missing a beat, "It's up to fifty percent in nurses, nearly sixty in doctors. 'Case you were curious."

Robby smiled, Jack glared, and Gloria cleared her throat, "As I was saying…"

~~~~~

Robby came up to the nursing station, hands in the pocket of his hoodie. He furrowed his brow and cocked his head to one side, "You..." He pulled out one hand to point, "You do not work here."

Sam rolled her eyes and gladly accepted his hug. "Playing Uber driver. Jack's truck is in the shop." "

You mean he's not doing the work himself?"

"Don't even. It took me a week to convince him he didn't have the time and to just take it in." She leaned over the counter, "Actually...speaking of stubborn assholes..."

Robby chuckled and shook his head, "Don't even."

"If you don't like her all you have to do is tell me! I'll let her down easy, you'll owe me, but I'll do it."

"I'm sure shes' a perfectly lovely woman." He kept his voice down low and hoped she'd take his lead.

She did not. "But?

"He's chicken shit." Her husband appeared behind Robby so he could log something at a computer station.

"Isn't it time for you leave?" Robby made a show of looking at his watch.

"Rob-byyyy, come on."

"I am not having this conversation here."

Sam sighed dramatically, "C'monnnn, don't you trust me?"

Robby shoved his hands back in his pockets, "I trust you. I trust you to make intelligent and informed medical decisions, I would trust you to borrow my truck, I trust you to murder your husband in his sleep and get away with it." Jack's glare didn't slow him down a bit. "I would trust you to... recommend a restaurant or take down an armed combatant with hand to hand combat if the need arose. Hell, I would trust you to perform minor to intermediate surgery unsupervised, but no, I do not trust you to set me up on a blind date." He half whispered, half hissed the last two words.

She completely ignored his tirade, "You wouldn't even have to say anything. Just nod your head for yes and shake your head for no."

Jack came to his rescue, backpack over his shoulder, "Okay, we are leaving." He came around the station and put a loving but motivating hand on her hip and pushher away towards the door. Jack and Robby exchanged a nod of solidarity as the pair of them left.

Once the door closed behind the Abbots Robby sighed and scratched the back of his neck. When he turned around to get everyone gathered up for rounds he found Dana behind him. "Good morning."

"Good morning." She gave him a cheery smile, "So, what's the deal with this cutie from the VA?"

Robby hung his head and couldn't help but laugh, "Seriously? She told you?"

She looked offended, "It's Sammy. Of course she told me, now quit dodging."

"Sounds like you know as much as I do." He stepped around her, ready to walk away.

That didn't stop her at all, "She's cute, she's smart! Why are you avoiding it? What's one date going to hurt?" Robby stops and takes in a deep, calming breath through his nose. "It's not the one date I'm worried about."

Realization dawned on her and she nodded. Sympathetic. "She could be your last first date... I'm just sayin'."

~~~~~

"Alright, I got this, get the hell out of here." Robby hovered over Abbots shoulder while he finished notes on a patient file.

"I'm going." Jack kept typing.

"I'm serious, get out." He scowled down at him. "Don't make me call securtiy."

Jack snorted as he logged out of the computer and stood up, "Too scared to kick me out yourself?"

To anyone that didn't know the two of them, the way Abbot stepped forward and squared up to Robby, the look they gave each other, would have been concerning to say the least.

Robby just crossed his arms, "Go. Home."

Dana walked around the counter, "C'mon you two, break it up."

Jack smirked, "Lucked out." He leaned down to grab his backpack, "Sam wants you to come over for dinner Friday."

As he took the seat Jack had just vacated Robby spun around on the chair, "What's the occasion?"

"How should I know? I just live there." Jack walked out from behind the nurses station. Matching Robby''s stare the whole way.

When it clicked for him Robby groaned and scrubbed his hands over his face, "You've got to be shitting me, for real?"

"Don't bitch at me. You want to have that argument, you call her yourself."

"She really does think I'm a lost cause, huh?"

"Apparently."

Robby groaned again, a hint of resignation in it. "Who is it?"

Jack shrugged, "I don't know, probably one of her nurses."

Robby cocked an eyebrow, "Little cliche don't you think? The whole doctor nurse thing?" He took a cheap shot at his colleague because he felt like he deserved it.

"Go to hell." He stepped back from the counter, "SIx o'clock. Don't piss my wife off."

~~~~~~

Jack watched Sam as she walked back and forth through the kitchen, "You're acting like you're the one getting set up with a stranger." He leaned against the entryway into the kitchen with his arms crossed. When she paused to look at him he smirked and pushed off from his spot to approach her. "C'mere." He grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into him as he settled back against the counter.

His wife rolled her eyes, but went with it and sank into him. "Want it to go well. Want him to be happy."

When Jack snorted she gave him a look.

"Ok, I want him to be less miserable."

That made him smirk as he lets his hold on her slide lower, until he could slip his hands into the back pockets of her jeans. "I'm miserable to you know…" He left it open ended, like maybe she could 'help him out'.

"You've always been miserable." She responds without pause.

"Watch it." He cocked an eyebrow at her as he pulled a hand back and gave her a swat on the ass.

Sam had to fight back the smile when she challenges him, "Don't tell me what to do." She leaned in a little further, "I outrank you. Remember?" She pointed a finger, jabbed it into his chest, "Sargent." Then pointed to herself, "Lieutenant."

Face still as unreadable as always he captured her hand in his, finger still pointed, "We ain't in the Army any more, baby." He used her own finger to point to her chest, "Nurse." Then turned her finger towards himself and pressed it against his sternum. "Doctor."

Before she could argue, he saw it flash across her face that she was going to, he grabbed her other hand quick. He twisted them around behind her back so she can't reach him, and used the position to wrap his arms around her and pull her in to a kiss. Once she relaxed, hummed happily, and leaned into him he released her hands. He grinned against her lips as she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. He pulled back a breath, "Good girl." and then she bit his lip, hard, which made him chuckle and only kiss her harder.

"Knock, knock!"

They pulled apart. Sam let out a little frustrated groan and Jack licked his top lip as he gave her ass one last squeeze. He pressed his lips against her ear and whispered, "I'm goin' to finish that later." Then he was on his way back out to check on the grill.

~~~~~

Robby found Sam in the kitchen, 'One of These Nights' by the Eagles played over the TV sound bar and he could smell the wood smoke through the open patio door from where Jack had something on the smoker.

"Ohhh, Jack's gonna be pissed." She giggled with a wicked smile as she met him halfway for a hug.

"As opposed to normal?" He gave her a squeeze.

"Yes. because he thought you'd bail. Now he owes me." She was still grinning as she stepped back from him.

Robby shook his head, "Don't want to know." Sam reached for the bottle of wine he held in his hand, but he pulled it back, held it out of her reach. "What exactly am I getting myself into here?"

She reached for it again, rolling her eyes at his antics, but he only held it out further. "Answer the question."

"Just relax, if it doesn't work out it doesn't work out, but... obviously you come up in conversation sometimes and one of the girls from work has showed some interest." She can see, clearly, that Robby is regretting his decision to go through with this. "Stop it. She's an RN, she's working at the VA while she finishes her masters. She's smart, she's sweet, she's young and pretty and a great nurse. I wish I had 5 more of her."

"How young?"

Sam had apparently hoped he'd gloss over that one. "Not like sketchy young, don't be gross." She tried to brush it off.

"Sam..." He tilted his head to one side and stared her down.

She just shrugged, "Jacks older than me, besides that's usually how it goes."

"By like five years. Not the point. How young is she Sam?"

"He's seven years older actually." She must see on his face she wouldn't talk her way out of it, because she offered up, "She's just a couple years younger than me."

"Sam!" His eyes go wide and he looks a little offended, "I'm going to be fifty fucking years old soon!"

"We all know you're old." Jack interrupted from the doorway as he walked into the kitchen. He slapped Jack on the back with one hand and took the bottle of wine with the other.

Robby scoffed and then scowled at him, "You're not far off either brother, just wait."

"Okay so she's younger, so what? She sure doesn't seem to mind." The look on her face makes it clear she's trying to fluster him. Throw him off.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Jack reappears beside them and hands a glass of wine to his wife and holds out a bourbon to Robby, "It apparently means you're 'sexy as fuck', which I deeply regret ever having to hear or repeat."

"Sam...I love you," Robby starts off, "but I am going to kill you."

"C'mon," Jack grabbed him and turned him around with a push, "Arguing won't make it better. Trust me."

Outside on the patio Robby stared out over the pool into the back yard and scratched at the back of his neck. "Why did I agree to this?"

"She's hard to say no to."

"Do you know this woman?" Robby felt like he was grasping at straws, trying to find any reason to believe this wouldn't blow up in his face.

Jack, his supposed best friend, just shrugged, "Never met her. Sam mentions her, but I don't know. She says she's smart, cool under pressure. Think they've hung out outside of work some."

Robby shook his head, "I can't date a woman in her thirties."

Drink in one hand and flipping steaks on the grill with the other Jack looked at him, "I'm married to a woman in her thirties. What's it matter?"

He laughed, self deprecating as ever, "Thirty nine, Jack, your wife is thirty nine, and for how many more months? You're also a lot closer to thirty than I am brother. Besides, you two have have been married for like twenty fucking years."

Jack didn't correct him, it hadn't quite been twenty years yet, instead he shut the grill and walked over to his corner of the outdoor couch, "Might be good for you." He dropped down to sit with a groan and took a sip of his bourbon.

A little reluctant Robby also took a seat and scratched at his jaw. He took a sip of the bourbon and stopped. "Oh, this is good."

Jack nodded "Broke out a bottle of the good stuff." He took a sip of his own, "Thought we might need it."

Robby scoffed, "We?" Glass raised back up to his lips, Jack smirked into his drink, "This is goin' to be painful for all of us."

Robby laughed, actually laughed, "Fuck off."

~~~~~ The End~~~~~~

The story continues!

Baby, It's Alright - Chapter One

#dr jack abbot #dr robby #the pitt #dr jack abbott #the pitt fanfic #the pitt fanfiction #jack abbott #dr michael robinavitch x reader #michael robinavitch #dr robby x reader #doc bros #Dr Jack Abbot x ofc #Dr Jack Abbott x ofc #not friends friendship #noah wyle #shawn hatosy #the pitt max #the pitt hbo

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serendipitous-seven · 3 months ago

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baby if i fall | singledad!Jungkook x f!reader | "I Can't Wait..." series

summary: For nearly a year, you and Jungkook have enjoyed the blissful tidings of your new relationship. But it isn’t long before reality rears its ugly head, forcing you to face your insecurities head-on when Jungkook makes it apparent what steps he is ready to take while you present one of your own that has him squirming. Meanwhile, Mai begins to show signs of unexplained distress. With life hurling the three of you into uncharted territory, you and Jungkook begin to question if you will make it over this obstacle.

pairing: dad!Jungkook x f!reader genre: sequel, domestic au, angst, fluff rating: pg-15 word count: 21.5k tags/warnings: This is a sequel so to understand the storyline I highly advise you read the first part, linked below :] This fic is built around themes of insecurities about physical intimacy. STILL SFW as there are no explicit scenes of such, but there will be dialogue concerning those topics. Romance through out i.e. heavy kissing in two scenes, ‘sex’ is mentioned in a few conversations, a conversation between reader and reader’s mom regarding sex & intimacy. A verbal argument/a bit of yelling, unhealthy communication, Mai experiences distress in several scenes, bullying, topics of absent mother, Mai hits a classmate [it gets resolved], heavy crying, emotional distress through out.

singledad!JK series mlist | make sure you have read the first part before proceeding here

Please proceed by own discretion and caution as these themes can be triggering or uncomfortable for some. While the content is still SFW, I ask minors DNI.

a/n: So here I am with a refreshed sequel, edited and cried over because I still love this little family of mine. It was odd reading this in my current circumstances and feeling heartbreak all the same. It really made me realize and feel proud of how much I just love to write, it makes me feel things nothing else does. Maybe I won’t be healed completely by a story let alone my own, or characters who learn how to respect one another and learn each other’s love languages - but I am learning that this kind of love can truly exist outside of mere fanfiction. I believe in it even if it didn’t find me like I thought it did. I’m growing stronger with time, and I’m really happy I stepped out of my dark hole to edit this and present it. Pls handle it with care, I really put my heart into each fic, whether it’s brand new or re-posted work <3 This is me giving you all a piece of me.

This bliss is addictive, sitting in Jungkook’s arms while your families go on about random things. A silent moment of gratitude sits as intertwined smiles on both of your faces, taking it all in. Both fathers advise you on investing in stocks as Princess Mai is entertained by Jungkook’s mom, “Hamny,” and your mother, “Nunu,” who act as her faithful guards fighting against the imaginary dragon intruding upon their backyard.

Everyone is happy and at ease, obsessed with seeing you and Jungkook together.

“The family that always should have been,” according to Mrs. Jeon. Jungkook shakes his head when she says that but hearing it leaves a fluttering in his chest.

Jungkook’s hand is wrapped around yours as he drives home with a sleeping Mai in the backseat. You both giggle when she snores, almost waking herself up.

Once back at their house, you win a playful fight against Jungkook to carry Mai to bed. You live for this despite her getting a little heavier with every inch she grows.

She moans and groans as you help a very zombified Mai change into her pajamas and brush her teeth before tucking her into bed. Usually the chatty one, she manages to butterfly a kiss onto your nose before rolling over, instantly falling back to sleep, her even breathing filling the silence of her room.

Jungkook is waiting at the door, lost in a dreamy haze after watching it all. He still has to pinch himself, wondering how on earth he managed to get you. Not only as his best friend, which he would have happily kept it that way, because having you was better than not, but to have you and be able to tell you with his entire being, ‘I love you.’ Nothing beats that. Watching you get his daughter ready for bed not only now, but the way you’ve handled her with care for all of these years, it is so different. There is an extra layer of love you have to offer. He wonders if he only sees it now because your mutual love for each other manifests in a new and intimate way. He finds himself unable to fully grasp the feelings that you continue to stir inside of him.

You tie your arms around his neck once he closes Mai’s door, and he kisses you; “Can you take care of me like that?” He teases against your lips. You roll your eyes, returning his affection. Jungkook carefully walks the two of you toward his bedroom. Too lost in him, you don’t question where he is headed until the back of your knees collide with his bed.

It’s only then that you stutter, pulling away from his kiss, but he has an ardent need to show you how much he loves you.

“Jungkook,” you start when he moves his lips across your cheek, pressing them along your jaw, down to the valley of your neck. You gasp, and only then does he stop, his face red with passion.

“You okay?” He chuckles, squeezing your waist with his hands.

“Um, yes-” you waver, but Jungkook, too caught in the moment, takes that as the go-ahead and continues; “a-and no.”

His breath stills, and he stops again. You look up at him with shaking eyes as he looks down at you, riddled with confusion and concern. You move your hands over his chest, staring at his shirt, “I um- I-I’m not ready for this, not yet.”

He understands right away, stumbling back to put distance between the two of you. “Oh,” his voice trembles and his hands drop to his sides, “th-that’s okay, I’m sorry, I-uh I shouldn’t have assumed-”

You rub his arms to assure him you aren’t offended, kissing his cheek. It’s awkward though, neither of you can deny it, hands loosely holding the other as he walks you to your car.

“You can still spend the night-” he starts, but you turn and offer him an empathetic smile, touching his cheek.

“I think we need to cool off.” You chuckle, feeling embarrassed, “Wouldn’t it be kind of insensitive for me to stay with you tonight?”

He melts at the feel of your warm palm against his cheek, snorting. He looks at you with an arched brow, “Why, because I can’t resist you?”

You shrug with a pressed smile, “You tell me.” The exchange is awkward, and Jungkook can see the tightness on your face.

He pulls you in for a hug, kissing the side of your head. You feel shivers up and down your spine when he breathes next to your ear. “I love you, okay?”

You breathe the same words, hugging your boyfriend a little tighter.

Driving home, it’s all you can think about. It isn’t a question of wanting to. You want to. But knowing Jungkook for as long as you have has also meant knowing his life, too much of it.

You scoff out loud, cursing your very thoughts. ‘Can I measure up to those women? Will I be different enough for him to want to commit to me forever?’ It haunts you.

You feel sick and force yourself to think of something else, anything else but that.

“I have a parent-teacher conference with Mai’s teacher on Friday,” Jungkook sighs, his hand stroking your arm. You rest back against his chest, the two of you squashed into a lounge chair while Mai runs around the yard with their new dog, Bam. Every time you see the large Doberman, you want to laugh; Jungkook is never short of surprises and last-minute decisions. You should know that by now.

“Is that why you seemed so wound up tonight?” You tip your head to get a better view of him.

He shuts his eyes, grinning, “On top of this move, yeah, I guess so.” You can feel his body tense up from stress. You turn in his lap, swiping your hand back through his newly, box-dyed hair- another thing you could laugh at if he wasn’t so pressed at the moment, “Did she get in trouble?”

“Depending on how that meeting goes, she may be in trouble with me,” his eyes wander to find his daughter lying flat on the grass, Bam’s generous licks coating her face in kisses. Mai shrieks, carefully pushing Bam away before she’s running again.

“Even though working my business from home now gives me more time to be with you guys, I can’t help her as much with homework like I used to,” your eyes follow Mai’s erratic jaunt throughout the backyard, unable to keep the smile away for too long while you watch her, “maybe she needs a tutor.”

Jungkook pats your thighs, whispering, “I don’t know,” before he tells his daughter it’s time to go in and start her night routine.

Mai sprints past her dad and into your arms, wrapping you in a death-defying grip around your waist. Jungkook’s face blushes at the sight, body overtaken by butterflies, a feeling he’s become used to. He rubs his chest as he watches you walk backward with Mai as she warns you that you’ll run into something, guiding you back into the house.

“Are you spending the night?” Mai asks once inside the house, releasing you.

You brush her hair back behind her shoulders, holding her chin in your hand, “Mhm, so go brush your teeth, bean, then I’ll tuck you in.”

Mai’s face beams with a smile much like her dad’s. Jungkook smiles to himself, listening to the two of you banter while he cleans off the dining room table.

“How come you don’t just live with us at the new house?” Mai starts to hop toward the hallway, unfazed by the weight of her question. You stop in your tracks, “You sleep over a lot anyways!” She adds.

Jungkook’s head pops up, eyes finding you right away. His curious grin is a heavy contrast to the way you start nibbling on your lip. “How observant of you,” you look down at her.

“Daddy said he would like for you to move with us-” Mai turns to grin at her dad, a window of space in her teeth, “he’s just too chicken-”

Jungkook clicks his tongue, face glowing red, “Okay slick, go-uh-go brush your teeth and we’ll be in there in a minute,” Jungkook cuts in. Mai hops away with Bam close at toe.

Jungkook catches your round eyes, “I’m guessing we should talk about that,” he flashes you an innocent smile, “after she goes to bed.” You’re nodding before he can fully finish that sentence.

“Me moving in is not an idea I want in Mai’s head,” you huff, looking over at Jungkook and the smirk on his face. He notices your annoyance, pushing his lips together, “Go on,” he urges you.

“I just wish you would have told me this is a discussion you were having with your kid, babe,” you sigh, putting the last plate he rinsed into the dishwasher before starting it up, “isn’t that something you should be talking to me about, not a 7-year-old?”

“I’m not discussing anything like that with my daughter, she asked if you were going to move with us, and I said it would be nice, but- she brought it up,” he snorts, “not me!”

You bark with laughter, “Blaming Mai, how father-of-the-year of you, Jungkook.”

Jungkook laughs despite your frustration, tossing the rag into the sink before slinking his arms around your waist, pushing his nose into your cheek. You scoff, trying to fight him off, but he proves victorious, as always. Your arms fall limp when he squeezes you tightly before leaning forward for a kiss.

“Cheater,” you say against his lips, “this does not end our conversation.” He giggles this time before kissing you again, “and your stupid little ring here can’t distract me either.” You add, pressing your finger against the piercing on his bottom lip.

He laughs, dropping his head in defeat, “I wasn’t aware a conversation between two people meant one person argues while the other can’t get a word in edgewise,” he pats your side, smirking, “and complain about this all you want, I know you like it.”

You swat his chest in response, “whatever,” attempting to wiggle out of his hold. He finds your determination cute, hardly putting up any restraint against your pathetic attempt to set yourself free; “and it’s hard to argue when you won’t let me go!”

“It’s a lot more fun to argue this way,” he retorts.

Oh, he’s good.

You let out a loud huff, once again losing the fight, “Well, what do you have to say for yourself then?” Your frown only makes his gaze softer, you watch his eyes dart all around your face. You know he’s wondering where he should kiss you next.

“What I have to say is…I am madly and deeply in love-”

“Jung--kook,” you laugh with all frustration, pushing against his biceps that seem to grow by the day, “I am trying to have a very serious conversation right now wherein my boyfriend, you, respects me and listens to my concerns and validates my feelings because this is kind of a major thing!” You take a deep breath at the end of that sentence.

He steals a kiss before letting you go, apologizing. Though you wouldn’t mind hearing Jungkook tell you daily just how in love with you he is, that could wait for a later time. He follows you into the living room, peering down the hallway instinctively to make sure Mai’s night light is on in her bedroom, where she is sound asleep. You hold your glass of wine between two hands, watching him settle onto the couch, his arm draped over the back and resting his head against his palm.

He smiles at you, stealing a sip from your glass, having opted out of a glass for himself, considering he has an early meeting in the morning; “Okay, so Mai and I got a little excited about moving, and you did come up. I’m sorry, baby. But help me understand what’s troubling you.”

You immediately feel heard, a warmth settling in your chest when you realize he has been listening for the last 30 minutes.

“I’m just surprised she would ask that, and a little bothered that you didn’t tell me. But my concern is Mai, I just don’t want to get her hopes up about me moving in with you guys. You know kids, and you know your kid, she holds onto every hope and she is smart. You give her an inkling, and she puts two and two together so fast.”

He nods, sighing, “I hear you and you’re right, but I’m wondering if the issue really has to do with my daughter, and I-” he makes it a point to gesture at himself, “wanting this or you not wanting to move in. I mean, I’m obviously not opposed to the idea, we’ve been together for almost a year now. I’m moving into a new place. Isn’t moving in together the next logical step?”

Steps? You can’t hold in the hefty sigh that sits in your chest. The lingering thoughts loom over your head when you think about the steps you and Jungkook have overcome in just the last few months. Being with him, it’s seventh heaven, yes. Moving on from best friends to best friends that have fallen in love, confessing that love to each other then becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. But with time and a new relationship, it’s you and Jungkook. The two of you know each other well, and that in itself was proving to be a hurdle.

“Is it, Jungkook? Most couples-”

“For us,” he says in a breath, “I’m talking about you and me. We’ve known each other for a long time, been in love with each other for God knows how long before confessing, you’ve helped me raise my kid- moving in together feels right and besides-” Jungkook moves forward, resting his hand on your knee with a careful laugh, “baby, you do sleep here almost every night anyway.”

You abandon your wine for a more serious tone, “because it’s a drive for me to get hom, and I’m always here late. Besides, your new house is a lot closer to my apartment.” It’s the truth, the half-truth anyway.

There’s an odd silence that follows for a few beats. Jungkook looks down at where his hand rests on your knee, fingers playing with the material of your pants; “I know something else is bothering you…” It suddenly becomes hard to swallow when Jungkook looks at you, a certain caution in his eyes as he presents that observation.

You chew on the inside of your lip.

Moving in does sound nice. Being able to work from home and hear Jungkook and Mai come in, maybe even swing by his office for a quick lunch together on occasion. Picking Mai up from school on your days off and bringing her home, a home you don’t have to leave just to stay alone in your apartment when all you want is to be with the two loves of your life.

It sounds perfect.

But…

The but…You hate it. You’ve hated it since the moment it barged its way into your head. It arrived and never left, making itself comfortable as an unwelcome guest inside your mind. Moving in only means things progress from there, naturally. You share a space with the one you love. Share a bathroom. A bed… And it’s not like you and Jungkook haven’t shared those things already. But physical intimacy with each other outside of making out and other forms is otherwise vague in your relationship, you always made sure it stopped before it progressed beyond a point you can’t take back with him.

Jungkook can see the inner workings of your mind appear as a question mark on your face. He wants to ask you, but the knot in his stomach tells him not to. He wants you to be ready to talk about it.

“Come here,” he pulls you into his arms, the way he always does when he isn’t sure about what to say when both of you are at a loss. And it’s nice, it’s so nice to finally be able to do this with him.

“I just want you with us as much as possible,” he soothes, rubbing your sides, “that’s all I’m getting at.”

You nod, “We’ll talk about it more and I’ll give it some thought,” you sit back, holding his hands, “but just-don’t let this be a conversation you have with Mai again, please? I don’t want to disappoint her if it doesn’t happen.”

He frowns, “‘doesn’t happen?’ You mean, ever?” He can’t hide his disappointment.

“Jungkook,” you’re exasperated, “we just haven’t talked about enough yet. Yes, we are in a relationship, but I mean, there are other factors to consider too, right?”

When he fidgets in his spot, you suddenly realize there is space between the two of you. “Are you talking about what happened a month ago?”

You feel exposed, stripped in a way to say anymore, but it’s a thought that’s been in your mind since the issue arose for you, “yes, that is something, but I also mean- well, like marriage? Have you thought about marriage?”

He tries to hide the way his eyes widen. “Is that something you want?”

You bite your lip, “You don’t?”

He sees your expression, the way you’re growing more distant by the second. He remembers the last time this happened, almost to the point of losing you entirely. He makes a last-minute decision to re-close the gap, tying your fingers with his, “okay, so there is a lot we still need to discuss before moving in together is an option then.”

You nod wearily, “which is why we need to leave Mai out of it, for now.”

Jungkook hates to end the night this way, the two of you lost, unsure of how the other is feeling. Instead of sleeping in his arms, you both take to your respective sides of his bed - you staring up at the ceiling and Jungkook, who is lying on his side, stares out of the window.

You pretended to be asleep when you felt him stir at one point, knowing he turned to check.

He lay back on his side, mind running rampant with intrusive thoughts. These questions he wasn’t aware could exist until entering a relationship with you now cloud his forethought. Before, he wondered how he could go on secretly loving you, so desperately wanting you to want him. And now that he has you, his question feels heavier.

‘Can I be good enough for her?’ It booms with such a heavy bass that it irritates his eardrums.

You squirm in your seat, cheek resting against your knuckles as you stare back at your computer screen. The conversation you and Jungkook had last night left you strained, mind occupied, despite the mountain of work in front of you. And by the way both of you struggled to even spare a look at each other when you kissed him goodbye this morning, you knew he was still thinking about what was going on in your mind.

In hindsight, dating for almost a year may have been too soon to bring up marriage. There is still so much to do as a couple, to learn about your best friend turned boyfriend, and even your relationship with Mai is changing ever so slightly. You want time to explore all of that, but Jungkook’s statement, even though it regarded something else for him, kept flashing in red font before your eyes.

‘I’m talking about you and me…’

You and Jungkook. It used to be an unfathomable dream. Now you are living it, and those single words hold so much for you. It’s wonderful and terrifying when you allow the thought to seep in, wrapping its meaning around your bones; it was a part of you now.

It’s nearly impossible not to imagine that kind of future with this man who continues to captivate you more and more. Every day you see Jungkook and you think, ‘Can I really love him more than I already do?’

And the answer is always yes.

Then, Mai dances across your mind, a foolish smile appearing on your lips and leaving Nic to wonder what drug you are on at the moment. She knows, rolling her eyes with a smirk when she notices how distracted you’ve become.

She came over in need of your skill, wanting a new banner and a few extra graphics to dress up her website.

“Ah,” Nic dramatizes a sigh, wheeling her chair over to your desk, “what’s it like up there on cloud nine?” She elongates her words to string you along, looking down at the framed picture you have of Jungkook and Mai, a selfie they took some years back while on vacation. You remember it clearly because Mai had just turned five and Jungkook surprised her with a trip to her favorite amusement park. They sent you that selfie and a quick text telling you how much they missed you and wished you were there with them.

You have to laugh at the obviousness of it all; the three of you were a family before you even knew it.

“I would ask how your love life is but-” Nic looks back at you with an arched brow, “it’s pretty obvious how well that’s going.”

You widen your eyes, choosing to answer her query with a gentle nod.

But it’s Nic, she picks up on everything, even when you get back to work with a set determination. She purses her lips, searching for the right words to form her nosy question.

“I know you have something to say,” you lean back in your chair, pushing your digital art pen behind your ear before returning a sarky look toward Nic, “so no need for consideration - out with it.”

She gives you a look of innocence, fluttering her eyelashes at you, “you’ve sighed like a million times in the last hour, and despite how in love you are, I know you. So either you are exhausted with my presence or-” she drawls, waiting in expectation.

You open your mouth, and Nic is quick to press her finger against your lips, “I know you aren’t that tired of me.”

You push her hand away, laughing, “Okay, okay. It’s stupid-ugh, no. It’s not stupid, actually, and that’s bothering me.”

You think it should be simple, wanting to share in the physical act of love with the man you love.

Nic’s eyes wander your expression for more, steeping in confusion that mirrors the very same inside of you, “gonna need more than that.”

The two of you share in a silent stare-off, a moment that Nic knows is necessary while you try to piece together the tethered ends of your worries; “Mai passively suggested I move into their new house with them, come to find out they talked about it briefly before. Jungkook is all for it and it - I don’t know - it started this whole conversation…” You shake your head, trailing the end of your jumbled mind.

“Okay,” Nic continues to read your expression, noting the bend in your posture and shaking eyes, “okay, not the worst thing he could want considering this is Jeon Jungkook we’re talking-” she stops when you shoot her a flat look, “sorry okay, well, what was the conversation about?”

You round your eyes, “everything.”

Nic sighs your name, “literally giving me nothing to work with here.”

You groan out loud, tossing your head back until it hits the back of your chair, “because it’s not fair, he and I are finally in this place neither of us knew the other wanted until months ago, and now reality has wedged its way into our relationship and- I-I don’t know if we’re ready to answer all of these questions.”

“Questions like?” She motions with her hands to draw you out.

“Having sex!” The words spill out of you, leaving you to burn beneath the flame of embarrassment. It’s enough to make Nic sit back, eyes popped open and mouth slightly agape.

“Not-okay, god-not just that. Our conversation spiraled from moving in together to marriage, and now I’m afraid Jungkook doesn’t actually want to marry me- and before you ask, no, I don’t want to be married right now, but-” your shoulders drop even lower, “it is something I want with him.”

A loud exhale falls out of your friend, “Oof, okay, this is- yeah-this is a lot of baggage.”

“It’s a mixed pot of crap, is what it is Nic,” you groan.

“So,” the tone of her voice drags along, “I’m guessing you guys haven’t-”

“We sound like teenagers,” you roll your eyes, “no, Jungkook and I have not had sex, I wasn’t ready when he was, and am still not ready.”

She nods, “Okay, fair, but uh-that’s um-that’s kind of a bump, right? I mean, maybe not right this minute but I’m guessing you two wouldn’t have come this far if a long-term relationship wasn’t something you’re both aiming for? So, you know, that will become an area that needs to be discussed.”

You drop your head in your hands, “My stupid brain won’t stop patronizing me with his past,” you sit upright, hair askew, “his past that wasn’t that long ago, and- I don’t know…”

Nic sighs, understanding immediately and if she knew any better, was aware of this before you confirmed it, “there it is. Okay, so his past taunts you. Are you worried he’ll cheat on you?”

“No, Jungkook has done a lot of things but no I’m not worried-” you sigh, “I love him, I love Mai, I love the three of us together,” if not for the issue at hand, Nic could hear the musing sound of love in your tone, “but this has been an issue since before I fell in love with him and I can’t get it out of my head, even now.”

“You have to talk to him,” Nic repeats these words you remember so clearly from months ago, “that’s the only way you guys will know what step to take next or how to take it.”

“I know that, and we will, but-” you hesitate for a moment, “what if he really can’t commit to me. I mean, he has me, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t want anything else with anyone else, but I can’t stop seeing that look on his face when I mentioned marriage.”

“Look, this isn’t my relationship, babe,” Nic leans in, “and I’m just asking rhetorically here, but does marriage have to define his commitment to you?”

She knows you’ll answer her anyway by the set look in your eyes; “for me, it does.” You hate the way that sounds; “I know Jungkook, he’s been my best friend for so long and now we get to be in love and of course I want to express that to him in every variation we can,” a soft chuckle slips passed your lips, “but just because it is him doesn’t mean I change my standards, even if he is the only guy that knows me so well. For me, giving myself to him? It’s a serious commitment.”

“Don’t hate me for asking what I am about to ask, but does this mean if he doesn’t want to get married, you’re never going to sleep with your man? You’re just going to continue holding hands like Little House on the Prairie-”

A drawn-out scoff bellows out of you, tossing your pen at her, “You are supposed to be helping me, not making fun of me!”

“I’m kidding,” her tone changes with a hint of laughter, left over, “I respect you.”

You feel yourself blush at the prideful smile on you friend’s face as she looks at you; “A lot.”

A few quips are made before the two of you are working again, leaving the conversation to itself.

Drowning your worries about each other in work, communication between you and Jungkook is limited to sending goodnight texts and ‘I love you’s’ for a week straight.

As you make your way to Mai’s school, all you can think about is the last time you made this drive, prompted by a call from her principal, later listening to your best friend of many years tell you he loved you back. If it worked out then, somehow this could all work out now. Pulling into a visitor’s parking spot, something churns in your belly, the unknown making you skip a few steps of the staircase as you trail into the building.

There is a smell to every school that immediately launches you into some nostalgic place of remembering, pulling open the door to the main office before politely telling the secretary you were there for Mai. After confirming the emergency call list, she directs you back to the office where the principal is waiting at her desk. Mai’s teacher, Mrs. Yoon, is standing off to the side and offers you a head nod with a meek wave.

Instantly, you spot Mai, her body limp in the chair and head drooping. She isn’t swinging her feet like she often does when they can’t reach the ground, and she isn't playing with the hem of her shirt. The little girl hardly spares you a breath when she hears you call her name softly, rubbing the top of her head with a careful caress.

“Thank you for coming on such short notice,” Ms. Park says, flashing a tight smile at you. “Mrs. Yoon has informed me that Mai was caught arguing with another classmate today, it appears she called her a name.”

Both teachers see the confusion blanket across your face, solidifying even for them the oddity of this entire ordeal. Mai has always been an obedient little girl, and though she got in trouble like any other child from time to time, this was outlandish for the Jeon Mai you’ve known since birth, “I’m sorry?”

Mrs. Yoon nods regretfully, “During reading hour, the two girls who share a table were going on and on. I initially thought they were just chatting, but when I made my way over, Mai-ehm- she called the other student, ‘stupid.’”

Mai’s head drops even lower, your eyes boring into her.

“Aside from her recent decline in class participation and work, we have never experienced any trouble with Mai before, not like this. So we are just as surprised as you but,” Ms. Park folds her hands over the desk, “we can’t treat her like any special case - she will need to come back on Saturday and serve a detention. We will send a letter home to her father about weekend work to make up for her missed assignments.”

A long sigh escapes you, nodding.

After the meeting, you make a call to Jungkook knowing it would be better to warn him rather than bombard him with the unfolding of his delinquent child. Mai drags herself to your car, staying a few feet ahead of you.

“Hey,” you breathe slowly when he picks up, noting the way Mai tenses her shoulders because she knows who you are talking to. In the background of the call, you can hear him driving, “Are you heading to another showing?”

“Nope,” he lets out a fake cheer, “finished up early, why?”

“Brace yourself,” you say slowly into the phone.

“What’s wrong? Is Mai okay?” The panic rises in his tone but you are quick to settle it, opening Mai’s door so she can hop in. She avoids your eyes, buckling herself in before you shut the door.

You stay outside of the car, “apparently, Mai called one of her classmates ‘stupid’ today.”

“What,” Jungkook laughs, disbelief apparent in his voice, “you’re kidding.”

“I don’t know who was more shocked, me or her teachers, but it’s true and sweet little bean has jail time this weekend,” you try to soften the blow with a small joke. Jungkook groans, his palm landing in a firm slap against the steering wheel.

“Alright,” he curses, “alright, I’ll see you girls in a minute.”

Your attempt to fill the quiet drive proves to be a failed one. “Bean?” You flit your eyes between the road and a sulking Mai in the backseat. She doesn’t acknowledge you, her chin sitting in the palm of her hand. She traces patterns onto her pants with her finger, bottom lip hanging low.

You clear your throat, pulling into Jungkook’s driveway. Mai sees him first, waiting at the door with his hands shoved inside his pockets. She groans, planting her forehead into her hand.

You pinch a smile as the two of you walk up to him. Jungkook kisses your cheek, his hand wrapping around the back of Mai’s neck while the three of you walk into the house. You put Mai’s things away while they walk into the living room. A force hangs around the little girl’s ankles the longer her father is silent. He tells her to sit on the sofa while he pulls up the ottoman, sitting right in front of her.

“So…?” Is all he says, clasping his hands together.

Mai’s chin falls against her chest, heavy breaths falling out of her nose, making it apparent she has no interest in discussing her mistake. You occupy yourself with Bam, quietly taking a seat out of Mai’s eyesight.

“Jeon Mai,” Jungkook tightens his tone, “you already have detention tomorrow, you want to be grounded next weekend too?”

Mai gasps, picking her head up and looking at her dad like he’s just betrayed her in the worst way, “Daddy that’s not fair, I didn’t even do anything!”

Jungkook’s pierced eyebrow quirks, “So calling your classmate stupid is okay?” He frowns.

Mai flings herself back into the cushion, her frown a carbon copy of her dad’s, “She deserved it.”

“Mai,” her name comes out as a harsh whisper from your mouth. Jungkook looks at you. Your body rattled from such a brazen thing for a 7-year-old to say, you disappear out into the back. Jungkook’s eyes are already back on his daughter, who is watching you out of the corner of her eye.

It was never easy to discipline Mai, especially when tears were sitting in the corners of her eyes. No matter how large her mistake, Jungkook often teetered on the edge of caving because he couldn’t stand seeing his daughter cry or hurt in any way. But he stiffened his upper lip just like every other time, leaning forward in anticipation of her side of the story.

Mai’s eyes smoke with frustration when she opens her mouth to say something before closing it again, “Never mind,” she mumbles, head falling back against the sofa cushion, “nobody ever listens anyways,” her tiny voice argues.

“We’re going to your classmate’s house so you can apologize, Saturday after-”

“No!” Mai yells, a look of horror painting her tiny features, “Daddy, I don’t wanna go to her house, I already said sorry in Ms. Park’s office-”

“No exceptions,” Jungkook shoos Bam out of the way, Mai’s protector. At any sound of distress, the lanky dog appears to assure his miniature owner is safe; “what’s going on, huh? First, the teacher-parent conference, and now this?” You note the slight spiral Jungkook appears to be in.

Mai sniffles, using the back of her hand to wipe her eyes, “I don’t care about school,” she whimpers. Crocodile tears staining her perfectly round cheeks.

Jungkook expresses his exhaustion with a sigh, a deep breath rounds his chest before he inches closer to his daughter. “Come on bud, you’ve always loved school- what’s going on?” He wipes each tear that follows.

Mai hiccups a couple of times, her teardrops only growing larger and making the ache in Jungkook’s heart greater. He swallows back the lump forming in his throat, allowing Bam to nestle himself between them, resting his snout on Mai’s knee. For a moment, the three of them are stuck in the center of a storm, Mai’s deep cries filling up the space.

“What is it, baby?” Jungkook soothes her, his tattooed hand grabbing onto her small one. Her broken words are the only sound heard for the next minute before she musters up the courage to speak.

“Th-there’s a dance,” Mai cries, her tiny body taken over by emotion. She looks at her dad when he tells her to take a deep breath, following his instruction a few times over.

“A dance?” He asks softly, rubbing her fingers between his.

“Mhm,” Mai nods, eyes red but the tears have stopped flowing now, “f-for kids and their moms.”

Jungkook inhales, eyes closing for only a second before he’s staring right into his daughter’s eyes. He can’t allow her to see the break in his own eyes, “for moms, hm?”

“That girl was asking me about my mom, and I got mad,” Mai pouts, her finger tracing one of Jungkook’s tattoos, “I called her stupid…”

He breathes in through his teeth, nodding, “okay kiddo, listen to me-” Jungkook takes Mai’s chin, directing her to look at him, “you understand why you gotta’ apologize to her, right? And properly?”

Mai just nods.

“Okay,” he sighs, dropping his hand to engulf both of hers in one, “I am sorry you are hurting, bean. You need to tell me these things as soon as they happen, yeah?” He squeezes her hands, “How else is Dad going to know when you need my help unless you tell me?”

“’Cause I-it’s embarrassing, daddy,” Mai’s voice cracks, “it’s not fair that I don’t get to go j-just because-” Mai frowns, “it’s just not fair.”

“No, it’s not, but you know what you got, right?” Jungkook pulls Mai’s hands to rest them on top of his shoulders, his hands moving to hold her around her ribcage, he utters your name and the mere sound of it creates a thin smile on Mai’s face, “and you have a Hamny, Nunu, and two poppas- you even got this dummy-” Jungkook and Mai look down at Bam who is in desperate want of some love himself, “and you have me forever, Jeon Mai, you can’t forget about me.”

He reaches around her neck and taps his fingers there gently, swimming in the sound of his daughter’s giggles. Bam hops around the furniture as the sound of Mai’s repaired joy leaps out of her body, seeping into the walls of her bedroom.

After sorting out her punishment, Jungkook leaves Mai to start her homework, slipping through the sliding glass door to find you. You look at him as he makes his way over, a look of wonder on your face, “I was sure they were talking about the wrong kid.”

Jungkook presses his eyes shut, shaking his head.

It was a long week, and all three of you were feeling it. From work, school, and the wavering questions surrounding your relationship. You hesitate for a moment before wrapping your arms around Jungkook’s waist, kissing the center of his chest, then looking up at him.

He groans, dropping his hands to rest on your sides, “I thought we settled all of this at the parent-teacher meeting last week.”

“Oh, you never did tell me what happened,” you say, resting your chin against his chest. He smooths his hands up and down your back, the two of you looking at each other. Neither acknowledges any reason for the week-long radio silence.

“Yeah-um,” his eyes strain, the vein in his neck protruding, “apparently math isn’t the only class her grades are suffering in,” he lets you go, “she’s almost failing math actually, hasn’t brought home her science homework for the last couple of weeks, isn’t reading their assigned book for the year-” he shakes his head.

Your sharp inhale alerts Jungkook, “What? This isn’t like her-”

“I know that, I know my kid,” he spats back.

He catches the surprise in your face, noting how short he’s been in the last week, too.

“I’m sorry, I’m just-there’s a lot going on and it seems to be happening all at once,” he breathes, reaching out for you to grab his hand. You move forward on weary feet before taking it, allowing him to pull you into another hug.

“We’ll figure this out,” you assure him, rubbing his back, “maybe-um, just focus on Mai right now, she’s important.”

So are you, he thinks to himself.

He leans forward and pecks your lips, “Maybe we can de-stress,” he kisses you again, “in the hot tub, after she goes to bed.”

Suddenly, your tongue swells, depleting you of any sound response, eyes struggle to meet his. The embers of desire stoke inside of you, but everything else wills you to create distance. If not for Jungkook’s mindful hold around you, you are sure you’d fall back.

“I can’t,” you feign disappointment, “I shouldn’t, it’s the middle of the week.”

He questions you with a look.

You lean up to kiss his cheek before moving his arms from around you, “Not tonight, Kook.”

“Okay,” he feels dissatisfied with your reason, following you back to the front door. Before you can get into your car, Jungkook tugs your arm, bringing you back to him.

“Jungkook,” you breathe tirelessly.

“Need a favor,” he laughs, “for Mai.”

Your ears perk up, body relaxing in his arms. Jungkook pretends not to notice the way you tensed initially.

“Um-there’s a dance, I guess, for uh-well for the kids and their moms-”

A small gasp escapes you, “Oh no.” Your heart launches into your throat, face falling.

Heart stuttering in his chest, your reaction for Mai always so deep he can feel it inside of himself, “you think you’d want to take her?”

“Of course,” you say in a breath, “oh my gosh, of course I’ll take her.”

All he can do is repay you in the way he’s most confident in, hands squeezing you before he peppers your lips with kisses, “I love you.”

You push his face back, skin warming beneath his touch, “You know I’d do anything for her.”

His eyes twinkle as they drink you in, but you can see a measure of worry in them; “I know we have a lot to discuss,” he starts, “but we’re gonna be okay, yeah? You and Me?”

You want to settle his worry, but fear invades you like a virus and gnaws at your stomach, “just - one thing at a time.”

You feel his hold around you faintly loosen, but you mask it by telling him you’ll help him pack up some more boxes since Mai wasn’t going to be around Saturday. He’s disappointed, but rather than question you, he thanks you and opens your car door, pulling your chin to kiss you goodbye.

Jungkook lays in bed that night, becoming too familiar with this sleeplessness. His hands lay behind his head while he stares up at the ceiling, watching your weariness paint a picture across the white expanse of his bedroom.

He recalls this helpless feeling when you walked away from the cruise ship, leaving him with the notion that you were done with him entirely. Mai enters his mind and an audible scoff comes out like poison, forcing him to shut his eyes because he can’t bear that pain. But it’s a burden he is forever vowed to in order to protect his daughter. Despite how apologetic she was, he could see something brewing in her. Not like anything he’d seen before when this issue about her absent mother would come up.

All he wanted was in his hands: his daughter and you. As sleep finally rained over him like a heavy storm, he couldn’t help feeling like what he finally had a grasp on was beginning to slip through his fingers.

“I swear there’s an echo, listen-” you stop to allow quiet into the empty house, looking at Jungkook who is smirking at you, “HELLO!”

Jungkook pretends to listen with anticipatory glee, eyes gliding across the vast space of his new home while Bam sniffs around the tiled floor.

Silence.

You pout, opening your mouth to try a different sound before Jungkook gently places his hand over your mouth, “just admit defeat, babe- this is hard to watch.”

You click your tongue, pushing his hand away, only for him to grab your arm, turning you in one swift motion that has your head spinning, caging you in his arms. His voice vibrates against your back and into your ear: " You are cute, though.” His words are muddled when he kisses your cheek.

“Clingy,” you shoot back as he walks the two of you around their new living room.

He chuckles, squishing your cheeks when he turns your face so he can kiss you.

“Alright,” you argue, ducking your head away when you realize he doesn’t just want a single kiss, “let’s move Mai’s boxes into her room,” you squirm until he finally releases you, “I want her new bed to be built so she can see it and like me more than you.”

He tongues his cheek, “Really?”

You hold your hands behind your back, turning about to portray the picture of an innocent girlfriend, “yup.”

“Okay, let’s make a bet,” he says, eyeing the box filled with pieces of Mai’s new bed frame, a light bulb appearing above his head, “I’ll carry all of the boxes in if you can build her bed by yourself.”

Your eyes pop open, “By myself?”

He tips his head, crossing his arms in expectation of you waving your white flag. But it doesn’t surprise him when you slit your eyes together, lips revealing a pearly smile, “deal, Jeon.”

The two of you become lost in your work. At first, the tasks sound unfair. You build while Jungkook unloads the truck; easy! But when you peer out of Mai’s soon-to-be bedroom window every so often, you realize Jungkook received the short end of the stick. The edges of summer are making their way into the city a little early, and today the sun is blazing. Jungkook abandoned his shirt an hour into it, tying it around his head so the sweat wouldn’t drip into his eyes.

You purse your lips, the sun rays doing a fantastic job at highlighting your boyfriend’s sharp muscles.

Building and a show?

“What are you smiling about?” Jungkook appears with one of Mai’s boxes. You’ve been caught in a daydream and stutter your way out of it.

“Oh-uh, how glorious it’s going to be when I finish this first and get to sit back with Bam while you unpack that truck,” you lie.

Jungkook squats in front of you, “I thought you loved me.”

“I do,” you tap his nose with the flathead screwdriver, “I can love you and relax at the same time, can’t I?”

Jungkook laughs it off, leaning forward for a kiss, and when you motion to meet him the rest of the way, he dodges you and stands upright, laughing his way out of the room and leaving you with puckered lips and a curse to his name.

But who gets the last laugh? You think to yourself as you stand over Mai’s completed bed some hours later. Hands on your hips, Bam prances in and bumps your wrist with his nose.

“Not bad, huh, bud?” You press his floppy ear between your fingers, caressing his favorite spot, “let’s go rub it in your dad’s face.”

It wasn’t long ago that you heard Jungkook moving boxes into his bedroom down the hall, retracing his steps toward that room with a trophy smile on your face and a taunting remark at the helm, “Kook?”

All of that seeps away when you find him lying back on his naked mattress, hands folded on his stomach, and t-shirt back on. The sweat has since disappeared from his hair and his skin hasn’t a trace of red tint from the sun. He pokes his head up, “Finally.”

Your mouth drops open, “How?”

He laughs, head falling back and eyes relaxing, “You were so concentrated on finishing her bed, I didn’t want to bug you, but I enjoyed my forty-five-minute nap while waiting for you.”

You blink, mouth tightening when you hear a tapping sound.

“Winner gets cuddles,” he sounds off, his hand patting the space next to him, “come here.”

You stubbornly cross your arms instead. After a few seconds that feel like a lifetime, Jungkook sits up on his elbows. “Or I can toss you over my shoulder and tickle you instead, your choice, baby.”

You drag your feet over to the bed, crawling next to Jungkook but not before pushing him back down with a forceful thud against the pillowy mattress. You lay back in a huff, ignoring the way he’s snickering at your sore-loser mentality.

He clears his throat, “waiting…”

“Tch-” you throw your arms straight up into the air, allowing him to curl into your side, his arm lying across your chest, and head resting right next to yours. He lets out a contented sigh when you drape your arms around him, smirking when he feels your fingers card through his hair. As much as you hate losing to your boyfriend, the sore feelings never last when he cuddles into you like this.

You can feel him watching you, and you turn to playfully argue, but the twinkle in his eyes spark a fire in the pit of your stomach that makes you forget everything.

Before you can say anything, Jungkook is bringing your head closer to his until he pecks your lips. “Thank you for building her bed,” he says in a mindful tone; “I hoped we would do it together, but you looked determined.” His fingers threaded in your hair start to massage your scalp.

“I was,” your voice almost doesn’t make it out, making Jungkook giggle. He hums into another kiss against your lips, moving to hover over you this time. His hand is imprinted into the side of your neck, thumb sweeping across your jaw until it’s pressed against your chin.

It’s like pulling teeth when he moves away to take in your expression, your body hurdled into a war despite becoming pliable to his touch, your hand having inched a good distance beneath his shirt, but he has to see your face first. Neither of you says anything, allowing you to hear the alarm going off in your head.

Jungkook closes the gap, body on top of you. His lips brush against your skin, leaving it to tingle when he latches onto your neck. His hands move lower, seeking out the hem of your shirt.

You start to frown when he’s successful, moving his fingers underneath the material, effectively causing the imaginary alarm to blare around you. Mind aware and heart battering in your chest, you pull your hands away from his stomach and find his wrists, gripping them so tightly that Jungkook hisses.

“S-stop,” you say against his mouth, and Jungkook reacts with a cat-like sense, pulling back; “we have to stop.” He places his hands on either side of your head while his eyebrows knit together. You let out a shaking breath, pulling his arm up and away so you can roll off the bed and onto your feet.

He breathes a broken apology, “I misread-”

“I-um,” you’re chasing after steady breaths as you smooth your hair down, “it’s almost time to pick up Mai.”

Jungkook sits back on his feet, trying to hide his confusion because he can feel it from you. For those few minutes, you and Jungkook are finally on the same page.

Both of you aware there is still another hour or so before she gets out of school, he nods anyway.

After eating dinner together on a blanket in the middle of their empty house, Jungkook practically has to chase after you when you go out to your car. He’s impressed, albeit a little hurt too, at how quickly you get in before he can give you a proper goodbye. But not wanting to tip off his daughter that something weird is happening, he just waves as you back out of the driveway.

“Did you leave your homework out so I can check it?” Jungkook asks Mai once back at their old house, tucking her into bed.

Mai rolls her eyes, answering him like she has been interrogated, “Yes, Dad.”

He clamps his hand over her face, gently jolting her head side to side until she’s laughing, both of her hands wrapping around his wrist, “might want to re-think the way you answer me, bud.”

“Sorry,” she finally says once he releases her. He kisses her cheek, steeping in the few seconds she reaches her arms around his neck for a hug before he wishes her sweet dreams.

He falls onto the sofa with a loud huff, wine glass in hand, while the other is patting Bam’s thigh. There is hardly a time he didn’t enjoy having you there with him. Some nights with the two of you snuggled under a blanket watching a scary movie, others spent talking out in the backyard until it was time to go to bed, and the rest, kissing until you couldn’t keep your eyes open any longer. Admittedly, he enjoys those nights because he can watch you sleep for a little bit.

But tonight, he needs the time alone, even if his mind is ravaged with worry. The worry that started as a seedling the night you told him you weren’t ready was only growing. It started to sprout when you mentioned marriage.

Jungkook is more than willing to wait; that isn’t a question. Is it hard?

He sighs, eyes clamping shut; it is very hard. And not because he can’t control the need in him, but because he loves you. He wants to express that to you, and if he knows you at all, he can sense the same in you.

So what was stopping you?

His eyes pop open, temples throbbing when the answer bleeds into his brain.

Flashes of you throughout the years replay in front of him like an old film strip. Recalling the time after you both confessed, when you described to him the sheer aches in your body any time he talked about some date he went on. Or how sick you felt when he would leave a club with another woman running her nails against his back.

He curses when a vivid memory invades him, it doesn’t matter how tightly shut his eyes are. He can still see the look on your face.

After a night out with friends, you were ready to call it a night. Jungkook never carpooled, considering his after-party plans always varied. You roll your eyes at the thought, forcing it away because, at least for one night, he actually wanted to stay with all of you.

With your friends gathering their things, you ask Nic for her keys so you can wait in the car. She tells you Jungkook asked for them a little bit ago- something about a co-worker calling him, and he needed to take the call somewhere quiet. After two failed attempts at calling Jungkook, you text him this time.

[1:04 AM] to Jungkook: we’re coming out now, meet us at the car.

Off you go, surprised because, as tipsy as you are, you remember where it’s parked. You grimace as your feet pound, swollen from a night of dancing, as you make your way over. Spotting the car, you don’t see any sign of Jungkook, assuming he is already sitting in the back.

Pulling at the handle, you don’t hear the heavy breaths and sounds of ecstasy at first (also escaping you is the sheer terror that puts a stop to those noises when they hear the car door swing open).

It’s only when you bend to get into the backseat do you lock eyes with a friend of a friend before noticing her wrinkled dress. Worse, though, is when you look over a few inches and see Jungkook’s wide eyes blinking back at you.

All of you curse apologies before you slam the door shut, making for the building in a desperate jog back to the group. You can no longer feel the splitting pain in the heels of your feet, or how tired your legs are. You’re certain that how you just found your best friend, in a very compromising position with this woman, has sobered you up completely. Going amiss is the way Jungkook is buckling his belt and calling after you when he and the friend hastily fix themselves before stepping out of the car.

He abandons his glass of wine, dropping his head back against the sofa.

Jungkook wants you. He has so much he wants to prove to you. He wants to know what scares you but what he doesn’t expect is how vulnerable he’s been feeling. Marriage? He doesn’t disagree that there are still things to discuss.

He wonders if that ache in your body that you felt all that time ago is the same feeling pressing against his bones now.

“I know that look all too well.” Your mom walks back into the living room, finding you sitting with a cat in your lap, your attention taken by the ceiling they just had redone.

She meets your eyes with a knowing smile, patting your knee when she sits at the other end. The cat stretches and abandons you for her mother; “traitor,” you pout, lovingly swatting her fluffy tail. She spares you a single blink before cozying into your mom’s lap.

“Out with it,” your mom forwards the conversation. You want to laugh, hearing yourself in your mom.

Your fingers tingle with nostalgic feelings of a hormonal, teenage girl. Your mother can see the way you begin to blush beneath your skin, her senses causing her to draw back in a way that she knows can draw you out.

“Jungkook and I-ehm-” you struggle to start, “uh-we’re coming to our first- pothole? In our relationship, but it’s-ugh, it’s a big pothole, Mom.”

“Okay,” her eyes carefully observe you and the way you retreat into yourself. The daughter she raised, who is naturally so modest, so much so, you didn’t tell her when you first started your period until a week later; “something that has you feeling- hmm- nervous, maybe?”

“Mm,” you hum, picking at your fingernails despite the fresh manicure you just had done, “it’s weird, mom.”

She chuckles, “You want me to turn away while you tell me?”

Your expressionless eyes find hers in a deadpan. She presses her lips together apologetically, remembering all those years she would do so whenever you had something embarrassing to talk about with her. She chuckles when you nod before looking down at the purring cat in her lap.

You drop your face into your hands and laugh, though nothing about this is that amusing to you, “god if I can’t even talk to my own mother about it, how am I ever going to do it.”

“Honey,” your mom spats, “maybe start by using the proper terminology for it, you’re an adult for heaven’s sake, just say, ‘mom, I’m having trouble with the idea of making love-’”

“Oh, mom,” you grimace, covering your ears like a child, “please, I remember the crash course you gave me on proper sex terminology when I was in high school, okay?”

Your mom laughs, patting the cat’s behind until it jumps off, “Oh, you are too modest for your own good- okay okay.” She moves over to you, pulling your hands away from your head and placing them in your lap, “I’m all ears- whenever you’re ready.”

You drop your head back, resting it against the back of the sofa.

“I’m not going into grave detail-”

“Nor do I want you to, sweetheart,” your mom cuts in.

You close your eyes, lips tipped into a half smile, while your skin boils with sheer embarrassment.

“You and Dad- did you guys wait until you were married?” You’re surprised when the question makes it out into the open air. Your mom is quiet, pulling you to look at her. She answers with a simple shake of the head.

“How did you- when did you know you were ready?” You ask.

Your mom tips her head to the side in a thoughtful manner, “he proved to me long before that I was safe with him, his actions said a lot more than any of the sweet words other men used prior to when I was with daddy.”

Your eyes widen at the thought of your mom’s previous love life, abandoning that thought before it produces further in your head.

“I don’t feel unsafe with Jungkook,” you start to think more deeply, “he makes me feel heard, seen, and very wanted-” you breathe a soft laugh.

“Good, it’s what you deserve,” your mom nudges your chin with her knuckle, winking at you when you look at her, “but it’s okay if you want to wait until marriage honey, and Jungkook is a good man, raised with a lot of love, and by the way he could hardly take his eyes off of you the last time we were together, I can see he loves you and respects you. He’ll wait if those things continue to motivate him.”

You know those truths, you believe them. Jungkook is a good man who had a colorful love life that he readily abandoned for you. You know how understanding he is and to some degree, you know he would wait. Marriage. You want it, you want it with him, but Jungkook’s seeming hesitance to it makes the knot in your stomach grow.

“We’re human, we have natural desires, especially when we are in love with someone, and that’s okay too.” Your mom lifts her eyebrows when you give her a certain look, “What is it that’s making you hesitant?”

“What?” Your tired expression is clear on your face, causing Nic to push her hand against the door when you move to close it; “I am here to pull you out of your hole of self-pity,” she quips.

You sigh, too worn to put up a fight. She returns the same expression as she walks into your apartment, turning to face you when you shut the door behind you.

“You have to stop this, this isn’t healthy for you or for Jungkook, who has no idea why you’re ghosting him,” she parrots the same lecture she’s been texting you for the last week. You don’t respond, tilting your head to the side while you cross your arms.

“Seriously-”

“God, Nic, I don’t care, okay?! I told you this would never go past what I am choosing to keep to myself.” You spat.

Nic calls your name desperately, “Do you really believe that?” She waves her hands to keep you from answering that, “Okay- whatever if you do, but how do you expect your friendship with Jungkook to last when you randomly cut him off like this? I know he’s annoying, it can be questionable the number of women he sleeps with but it’s his life. Like, come on, the guy has zero clue about your feelings. So he’s going to keep doing what he does best if you never tell him.”

“Nic-”

In her frustration, Nic, who is usually sound, has come to her wits end about it; “This is a waste of time anyway, the guy can’t commit to a single thing.”

You inhale sharply, misty eyes looking into your lap. It was the only fight you and Nic had that carried scars, though the two of you worked it out soon after. You apologized for roping her into that mess while she apologized for speaking so thoughtlessly.

“I just want to be sure he is committed to me first,” you admit, voice as small as the pattering feet of a garden mouse.

Your mom nods, pinching her lips together in a sympathetic smile, “I am sure he wants the same thing, sweetheart.”

Busy schedules and tempered feelings create more time away than you consciously intended. While seeing them for only a few hours at a time as opposed to your usual nights with them, Mai and Jungkook are in their last week at the old house. Walking into its near emptiness, you’re glad you brought the things you had to help Mai get ready for the dance.

Jungkook doesn’t outwardly question the recent distance, having filled his time with more open houses than he normally would. He has to remind himself to stay grounded while keeping you in his grasp, while his daughter has been growing quieter by the day.

It surprises him when she jumps into your arms, running her mouth a mile a minute about how excited she is that you both bought matching-colored dresses for the dance. Jungkook barely has a chance to kiss you before Mai pulls you down the hallway to start getting ready.

You curl the last piece of Mai’s hair, feeling her dark eyes fan over you for the umpteenth time through the bathroom mirror. With bobby pins between your teeth, you let out a breathy laugh, combing your fingers through her curls.

“Something on my face, bean?” You twist a section of her hair and pin it to the back of her head, doing the same on the other side of her face.

“Na-uh,” a faint smile wiggles onto her face, hands busying themselves with the hair products strewn across the bathroom counter. Her eyes move up to yours once more, alight with Jeon-like wonder.

You protect her eyes with your hand, “deep breath and hold it,” you instruct her, a cloud of hairspray falling over her perfectly done hair, “there we go.”

Mai opens her eyes and beams back at her reflection, eyes darting up to your face and for a moment, you see that light in her flicker brightly.

“Woah, look at my girl,” Jungkook surprises the pair of you, leaning against the door frame. Mai squeals, pushing past him and running to her bedroom, “You can’t see me yet, Dad!” You and Jungkook laugh; “geez, Kook,” you tease him, pecking his cheek before retreating to Mai’s room.

Jungkook ventures off to his room, getting himself ready to be a chaperone for the dance. An adoring smile appears on his face because any small gesture like the joke you made, gave him hope that the two of you would always be okay. For that minute, he didn’t worry about the right timing or what your future together looked like aside from knowing you wanted to be together forever. Jungkook knew that much.

After taking a slew of photos like it was prom night, the three of you walk into the school auditorium with Mai bouncing in her new dress shoes you bought for her, her hands holding tightly onto yours and her dad’s. She wears a proud smile, missing teeth and all, beaming up at you, she wastes no time begging you for a dance.

“Have fun,” Jungkook motions to kiss her forehead when she takes a large step back. Small voice struggling to voice off above the loud music, “daddy,” she whines through gritted teeth, “my friends are here.”

He frowns, grabbing both sides of her head and planting a kiss on her forehead; “My hair!” She squeaks.

He makes quick work to smooth down her curled tresses, “Deny your dad’s kiss again and I’ll kiss you on the lips next time, bean.” Jungkook playfully threatens Mai.

You pinch back a smile, rubbing his shoulder, before Mai pulls you into the mass of mothers and daughters. Jungkook doesn’t steep in reverence over his daughter’s attitude for long, conversing his way through a crowd of parent-acquaintances before finding a place against the wall where he can watch the two of you.

Lost in that sight, he doesn’t shy away from smiling and giggling to himself. Jungkook pushes his hands inside his pockets, making it a point to silently tell himself to remember this exact moment. A smile stains his daughter’s lips while she looks up at you, and if he concentrates enough, the music disappears, and instead, he hears her giggling when you spin her around twice. Mai’s eyes are shut, lost in a fit of laughter, struggling to stand on steady feet, her arms wrapping around you to keep from falling. Your head tosses back, caught between breathy laughs as your hands hold onto the little girl’s shoulders.

“Mr. Jeon,” a familiar voice calls out to him. Hesitantly, he takes his eyes off you and Mai and sees Mrs. Yoon. He shakes her hand, a warm smile appears on her face when she looks over at his daughter.

“Nice to see her smiling,” Mrs. Yoon admits, “she’s so quiet these days, I almost miss how chatty she was during my class, not sure if her other teachers would agree-” she chuckles, shrugging.

Jungkook rocks back on his feet, agreeing quietly.

“How is her classwork?” He inquires. Mrs. Yoon tells him it still needs improvement, but with more diligence on Mai’s end, her grade should pick up before school lets out for vacation.

The two settle for polite chat before Mrs. Yoon leaves him be. Jungkook finds the two of you again, stomach churning as he recalls that shift in his daughter. How evident it’s become in the last few weeks, especially without you there as often.

But tonight, he smiles, watching his daughter. No traces of her unexplained silence or that she is a little less talkative and hyper. He just sees Mai, the light of his life.

A laugh slips out of him, drawing others around him to look in the direction his eyes are fixed. A new song starts to play, and Mai jumps when she realizes what’s playing. Her mouth rounds, arms sticking straight up, “It’s our song!” She shouts at you.

Your lips curve into a wide smile, heart palpitating because she remembered you telling her months ago that this song reminded you of her. Mai screeches with glee when you lift her into your arms, her arms tying around your neck. For a moment, a toddler Mai appears right before your eyes, and you remember how her hands could not quite yet reach each other when she held you around your neck. An unexpected rush of love swells your heart just like it did all those years ago.

Mai giggles close to your ear as the two of you sing the lyrics together. You pull your face back to watch her expressions; her happiness creating an insurmountable feeling of ecstasy. It’s overwhelming and everything you need. Holding her in your arms, you hope it’s the same for her.

Jungkook blinks away the tears spilling in his eyes, his cheeks hurting from how long he’s been smiling. He starts singing the lyrics to distract himself, recalling that night.

It had become a tradition of sorts, ending dinner out in the backyard so Mai and Bam could use up the last of their energy. You and Jungkook would watch them, sometimes joining in on a game of tag or hide and seek.

He looks at you for a second, smiling when you start to giggle. Your eyes watching Mai; “what?” He asks.

“Hm,” you chuckle, “this is my ‘Mai’ playlist,” You turn to look at him, revealing a bashful smile, “this is our song.” Jungkook makes an effort to listen to the lyrics that utter sentiments of an enchanting meeting.

Before the song can end, Jungkook makes his way over to the two of you, making himself the only dad out on the floor.

He brushes his hand down Mai’s hair who was too lost in hugging you while the rest of the song played.

“Oh, hey,” you chuckle, Mai’s cheek still pressed against yours. Mai is quick to move her arm around Jungkook’s neck, pulling him close until his nose bumps your other cheek. The three of you giggle, making room for an extra set of feet. Jungkook settles to wrap you both in his arms, his left arm hugging your waist while the other rests around Mai’s.

He kisses the side of Mai’s head, a long sigh slipping past his lips when he finds you, your eyes already on him. You hear a few clicks of the school photographer’s camera nearby, allowing them to capture this moment of the three of you. Mai sings along to the song while holding onto the two of you, you and Jungkook sharing in a silent conversation. But you can hear him loud and clear, the love he has for you reaches across and ties around your heart.

“I love you, bean.” You press a long kiss on her cheek, coming back to see a blushing little babe, “thanks for taking me to the dance.” Mai holds your cheeks, showing you her smile because she knows how much you love to see her missing teeth, “love you,” she follows.

“You have fun?” You chuckle, tucking the comforter around her.

She nods, “I think we danced the best,” she yawns. Brushing her hair out of her face, you push your finger into her cheek, “We did, you’re a great dance partner.”

Jungkook appears with a soft giggle, his shirt untucked and feet now bare. He comes over to say goodnight, bending down to kiss Mai before sitting on the edge of the bed. For a moment, it’s quiet, you notice Mai look up at you then back at her dad.

“I need to tell daddy something,” she starts, “but you can’t be here.”

You roll your lips in, trying not to laugh before granting them their privacy.

“What’s up, bud?” Jungkook leans over Mai’s legs, propping his head against his hand.

“Mm,” Mai purses her lips, “it kinda’ felt like-” he can see her cheeks growing red, eyes struggling to meet his. He assures her with a smile, reaching over to brush his finger across her chin, “You feel happy?”

Mai nods, pulling her blanket up to hide the smile growing on her face, “It felt like I had a mom.” Her words come out quickly and muffled behind the blanket.

Jungkook’s heart stutters, finger tapping against his daughter’s cheek, “yeah?”

Mai nods again, “but don’t tell her.”

Jungkook drops his head, laughing into his daughter’s mattress.

He kisses her goodnight once more, allowing Bam to sleep with her for the night. Mai rests her small hand on top of Bam’s head when he lies on her stomach. His puppy eyes looking up at Jungkook; “just tonight,” he reiterates.

You stare at your phone, re-watching a video of you dancing with Mai that one of the moms sent to you. Jungkook slides his arms around your waist, causing you to jump up, “god,” you laugh with him, leaning your head back when he kisses you there.

“What’s that?” He muffles into your hair, twisting his head around to kiss your cheek before he’s resting his chin on top of your shoulder. His hands glide across your stomach when you play the video.

You feel his chest bounce against your back when he giggles, “Guess I wasn’t the only one who enjoyed watching you guys,” Jungkook admits. You turn your head to look at him before kissing his forehead.

It doesn’t take much for Jungkook to become lost in you, completely wrapped up and overtaken by absolute love. His lips hardly detach from yours when he turns you around in his arms. Heavy breath fanning over your face. Admittedly, you can’t deny what he stirs up in you. These feelings that battle against the fears demanding to be felt by you.

He groans against your kiss, pulling away to drop his forehead against your shoulder. You bite your lip, knowing already what’s starting. You rub the back of his head.

He reappears, his pupils blown out into hundreds of tiny hearts, “I love you,” he blushes, breathy chuckle escaping him, “this is going to sound like the douchiest thing I’ll ever say to you but, I love you so much it’s starting to hurt.”

A battle of tug of war starts inside of you, one end of the rope tugging you closer to Jungkook. You rub your palm down his cheek, your soft laugh falling in his ears, “it’s a little cringe but-” you shrug, your other hand dropping around his hip, “I love you, too.”

He closes the space, seeking out your lips. That rope inside you tugging you back when his palms smooth over your hips before pressing into them with his fingers. He walks backward until your lower back hits the kitchen counter.

“You’re so good to us,” he whispers into the kiss he’s pressing against your ear. Biting your lip, your hands push against him- everything in you wanting to give in. And for a moment, with your boyfriend’s lips trailing down your shoulder, you feel that wall begin to crumble brick by brick.

“I love you,” he parrots against your skin, tattooing you with another chaste kiss.

He stops, pressing his forehead against yours. You fall into his dark pools, a spark in them blinding you. All at once, the bricks build back up, and the need to protect yourself jolts through you like a lightning bolt.

Out of body, you can feel when Jungkook’s hands brush across your bottom, but in your place is another woman. You can’t see her face, you just know it isn’t you. He’s holding her close, his lips tantalizingly grazing her skin.

“Kook,” you stutter.

He moans in response, lips pressed against your clavicle, warm tongue pushing beyond the seam of his lips. A different woman appears this time, body stamped with Jungkook’s languid and thoughtful touches.

Your mind wages a war between the man in love with you and the man from the past.

He doesn’t commit. He loves you, but he won’t commit to you.

“Jungkook,” you push with more fervency, but you see the haze over him. You see that look in his eye that he’d given countless women on your nights out as friends. Just friends.

“Stop it-” you push him away, and his body gives at the first sound of panic in your tone. His hair is disheveled, lips stained with you.

“What-” he tries to piece together some sort of understanding, breathless.

“Don’t you listen?” Your tone is so defensive, it causes a piercing pain inside of him. Your shoulder hits him as you make your way to the door.

He drops his head, eyes clamped shut, while something bigger brews inside of him.

Of course, he hears you. He always hears you. Not having you, that wasn’t the entire problem.

All of these thoughts ravage his mind, and he follows you like a trailblazer, shutting the front door before you can escape.

“What are you doing?” His irritation only sets yours ablaze.

You pull your arm away before he can touch you, “trying to leave-”

“No,” he struggles through frustration, “why are we skirting around this? Tell me what’s bothering you.”

“I have the right to say no-”

“Baby,” he tosses his hands in the air, an exasperated laugh falling out of him, “shi- of course I know that. But I’m at a loss, we’ve been all over each other enough times before, what changed? Kissing you is starting to feel like I’m forcing you-”

You shake your head, “I’m not one of your women, Jungkook, don’t treat me like them.”

His face falls, everything on his body falls; your name draws out of him, “I’ve never seen you as anyone else but the woman I love-the woman I have so much damn respect for…”

“Then commit to me,” your voice shakes out of you, surprising even you, “prove to me that that’s true and tell me you’d want to marry me.”

Jungkook drops his head, tongue pushing into the side of his cheek.

A tempered laugh falls out of you, “or should I sleep with you first? Would that make it easier for you to commit-”

“What are you-are you serious?” Jungkook cracks, “How much more can I prove to you?” The shattering in his eyes bores right into you, “Do I need to tattoo it onto my chest-” he grabs the collar of his shirt and yanks it open, “to prove to you that I love you and I am dedicated to you? Wh-why do we need a stupid piece of paper to prove our love for each other? What does it matter if you can’t trust what I’m saying- if you can’t trust me?”

“Why don’t you want to get married? Why is it stupid?” You rap back.

“Because!” He yells out of frustration, hands tossed forward, “I’m afraid you’re just going to leave me! What good does a paper do when you can’t even stand me touching you? It won’t make you stay-” his words drop like an atomic bomb, an eerie silence following.

He sniffles, barely able to look in your direction. Your hands ache from how tightly fisted they are, chest weighed down from holding back the tears inside.

“Just go,” he opens the door, “if you really believe I’ve only seen you as some other woman this entire time, still? Then leave.”

You blink, flashes of the past taunting you before you escape to your car. Jungkook stares at the door after you leave, defeat washed over him.

Jungkook throws himself into packing up their house and moving into the new one. Between work, taking care of Mai, and moving, he isn’t allowed to think about anything else, too tired by the end of the night to lie awake in bed. The only time he entertains a thought about you is when Mai sleeps in her brand-new bed for the first night.

Jungkook sends you a picture of it, Mai giving a thumbs up, sitting at the head of the bed you built for her. A second later he FaceTimes you and for a moment you hesitate to answer, waiting to the last second before you hit that green button.

Mai’s face appears on the screen, you notice the downward turn in her eyes immediately before she’s distracting you with a loud thanks. Her smile makes the butterflies in your stomach come alive.

When she’s done talking, she hands the phone back to her dad. His eyes struggle to keep their focus on you while he tells Mai to get under the blanket, “We’re uh- we’re still good for next week?” He finally looks at you. You nod. He has a brief trip for a seminar, leaving Mai to stay at your apartment for a couple of days during the week.

“Can we bring Bammie-” Jungkook is already cutting Mai off, telling her he’ll wreck your apartment by his sheer size. You chuckle, enjoying the father-daughter moment before Jungkook tells you goodnight. He stalls for a second, running his teeth over his lips like he does when he’s thinking about something.

I love you.

“Goodnight,” you fill in the gap before hanging up.

“Listen,” Jungkook starts, and Mai can hear the immediate stiffening in his tone when he sits next to her, the double-size mattress allowing him the space now, “just because you’re sleeping over there doesn’t mean you stop doing your homework-”

Mai whines, her head falling back dramatically. Jungkook tells her to sit up, holding his hand around her neck when she lulls it to the side, “I am serious Mai, this is the third time I’m meeting your teacher about your schoolwork, enough is enough.”

Mai whips out of his grip, wiggling beneath her blanket and pulling it tight so he can’t get to her. Jungkook sighs, “You know we can talk about anything that might be upsetting you, right?” He looks down as she thins her lips, big eyes avoiding his stare.

“What’s gotten into you? Somethings’ gotta be going on, bean…” His worries expand, wondering if he’s missed a tell-tale sign because he’s been so distracted trying to keep his relationship with you intact. The doubt he has about being a good enough partner for you is taken by his doubt as a father. A doubt he hasn’t felt since Mai was born, even now, it runs deeper.

“Nothing,” Mai mutters, hugging one of her stuffed animals against her chest, “I wanna sleep, Dad.”

Jungkook nods, blinking slowly, “I love you…”

Mai turns away from him, pressing her head into the pillow, “love you.”

For a few minutes you enjoy watching Mai eat her snack, missing the way she can’t normally sit still and talking with a mouthful. She still smiles when she finds you looking, but there's a lack in her eyes that has you wondering the same questions her dad does.

Her eyebrows raised as she tosses a baby carrot in her mouth, “Are you and Dad gonna break up?”

Your eyes widen, “I see subtlety is not your strong suit, smarty pants…how do you come to these conclusions?”

She rolls her eyes telling you she has no idea what that means before bringing her point home, “you and dad were yelling after the dance and dad never yells unless I’m in real big trouble,” she emphasizes with her eyes, “or when Bam used to poop in the house except dad scared-yelled then, not angry-yelled. I think Bammie is his favorite now-”

“Mai,” you laugh, “really?”

Mai pokes out her bottom lip, tipping her shoulder up in a very matter-of-fact way.

A smirk leans across your lips, “Need I remind you, you are seven-”

Mai holds her hand up after taking a big bite of the sandwich you made for her, a little bit of mayo left on the corner of her mouth, “almost eight!”

“Yes, but you’re still a kid who needs to mind her own business,” you say, reaching over to pinch her nose.

“Just saying,” she defends herself, “plus, you aren’t staying for sleepovers anymore either…”

You stay quiet, pressing your cup of chilled tea against your lips.

“You probably wouldn’t want to anyways, the new house is sad,” Mai sighs, “everyone is just sad.”

A pang of guilt runs through you, “that everyone include you too?”

She leans her cheek against her hand, “even daddy and me are fighting…kinda’.”

You click your tongue, leaning across the counter to be closer to her, “Your grandma has been filling me in - what’s that about?”

She shrugs, mumbling, ‘I don’t know.’

You take in her mostly expressionless face, but her eyes tell an entirely different story of the one she isn’t saying.

“Hey, cutie,” you tap her chin, causing her to look up, “you know I’m here, right? I’m not going anywhere.”

“I know,” she surprises you with a quick response, “you promised me.”

You comb your fingers back through her hair, “and look, just because your dad and I are dealing with adult things,” you arch an eyebrow to make your point, “doesn’t mean he’s upset with you about it- so maybe go easy on him, hm? He’s just worried about you.”

“If I have to do that, why don’t you do it too for daddy?” Mai retorts. Her eyes shoot open when she realizes what she’s just said, retreating into herself; “sorry.”

You brush the comment away, clearing your throat.

“All he does anymore is ask about my dumb grades,” Mai starts again, pouting this time, “or if I was good in class and nice to the other kids.”

A sympathetic smile widens your grin, “Well, your track record hasn’t exactly been spotless lately…”

“I’m trying still,” Mai reasons, “daddy doesn’t see it, nobody sees it, but hello? I’m still a kid, I can’t do everything!”

You spat, dropping your head because somehow, Mai always finds a way to let her spunk shine.

“Well,” you come around the breakfast nook and stand next to her, “let’s keep trying and do some of that make-up work you have, or else we will both be in trouble.” Mai hops off the bar stool and takes your hand, the two of you walking into your living room.

Jungkook returns from his brief trip with a little bit of hope, having seen how much Mai perked up with you through short videos she sent from your phone or selfies of the two of you posted on your social media.

When he called to check in on the night he arrived at his hotel, there was a moment he thought you would talk. A shift in your breathing had him preparing the words swimming in his mind, wanting more than anything for you to know he is still in this. But somewhere his courage to talk about it was lost, he couldn’t be sure if it was you or him that redirected that conversation before you said goodnight. You both knew a conversation needed to happen. Jungkook makes an effort in a roundabout way by asking you out for dinner a few times. But swamped with two deadlines, working from home conveniently keeps you busier than before.

It’s both surprising and unsurprising when Nic tells you she’s staying out of it.

“You don’t listen to me anyway,” she said in a recent phone call, “because for some reason you like to torture yourself and you’re going to hate me for this, but- you like to torture him too, with silence. I’ve known you two long enough to know your patterns and- wait no-nope, nope nope- I said I was staying out of it, so I’m zipping it…”

You couldn’t deny it.

“I’m pulling up to the school now,” Jungkook tells you over the phone, a sigh dripping from his lips when he puts the car in park, waiting in a line of cars with the other parents, “you’re heading over now?”

“Mhm,” you answer, “just realized I don’t have a key to the new house though-”

He looks down at the extra key he had made for you when the house was officially signed over to him months ago, keeping it on his keyring because he initially planned to ask you to move in before that plan was - postponed? He blinks, coming out of his thoughts, “I’m sorry, it’s been uh-”

“I know,” you breathe. The sound of it eases over Jungkook; “I bought some groceries to make dinner for all of us,” Jungkook can hear you nervously chewing on your lip between sentences, “then I thought maybe-um- we could have some alone time after Mai goes to bed, to talk…”

His lips stretch upward with relief, “Yes, please.” His eyes find Mai who is walking out of the building with her friend. Her friend whispering something close to her ear; innocent little secrets, Jungkook thinks to himself.

He hears you gulp, “Maybe I should save this for later, but I’m sorry and I love you-” Jungkook can feel his heart fluttering, eyes still watching Mai, when the next sight of her has his heart plummeting into his stomach.

Did she just smack her friend?

A few teachers nearby see it, rushing over to the two girls when Mai raises her hand to repeat her previous action.

“What- Mai!” Jungkook stretches his head out toward the open passenger window, the streak of panic in his voice has you almost dropping your phone; “what’s wrong?” You ask in a frenzy.

“I need to call you back.” Jungkook hangs up before you can answer. He rips his seatbelt off and hurries off to the curb in a few brisk steps, grabbing Mai’s arm to pull her away from her friend. The little girl is crying, holding her hand against her head where Mai slapped her.

“What are you thinking?” Jungkook scolds Mai when she starts to cry, pushing against his leg in an attempt to set herself free from his strong grip.

“Mr. Jeon,” Ms. Choi, who was standing near the entrance, called him in a shaking tone, “let’s go to my office, now please?”

Mai’s friend and mother are ushered off to the nurse's room for an ice pack while Jungkook and Mai pile into the principal’s office along with the teachers who witnessed it.

He can’t deny that he just watched his daughter hit her friend, nor does he try, his skin hot with frustration as Mai tries to excuse her way out of it. Her words are jumbled by her erratic crying.

“I’m going to go talk to them in a separate room,” Ms. Choi says, still a little shaken, “give her a chance to calm down while I get their side of the story.”

“Daddy,” Mai cries to Jungkook when the principal leaves the room.

He turns his head, eyebrows straight on his face, “I don’t want to hear it right now-”

“But-”

“When we get home, Mai,” he raises his voice enough to quiet her.

After a lengthy discussion, with little to no explanation given by Mai once prompted, the principal decides she has no choice but to suspend Mai from school for the remaining weeks left until summer vacation. She informs Jungkook that Mai only has make-up work she needs to complete in order to move onto the next grade.

“I hope you understand why we need to do this, Mr. Jeon,” Ms. Choi says in a softer tone, a certain telling on her face before she continues, “I know single-parenting is not easy,” she lets out a heavy sigh, “my-my husband passed away a few years ago.” Jungkook can feel himself crawling beneath her pity, “but we will not tolerate physical violence. We’ve had Mai with us for seven years, and we’d love to have her back for the new school year, but only if these issues are handled accordingly.”

He doesn’t say anything more than agreement and an apology following Mai’s bitter one. His hand fits around Mai’s elbow as they walk back out to their car. She struggles beneath his tight grip, proving unsuccessful when he opens the door for her to get into the back; “you’re being mean!” She yells. Jungkook takes a deep breath, tossing her bag into the back, using all his control not to slam the door shut.

The drive is silent besides Mai’s whimpers, short words uttered that Jungkook is too angry to hear himself. Too confused. The only settling he feels is when you get out of your car as they pull up, a lost expression on your face when the two of you make eye contact.

“Hey bean-” you’re cut off when Mai brushes past you, her tears and anger very evident. You look up at Jungkook when he retrieves her things, his head shaking. You rub his back as the two of you walk up to the door, letting Mai in, who is ready to run to her room.

“Stop,” Jungkook’s voice booms through the once quiet home. Bam, who was eager to welcome all of you, retreats to his bed; “Come back here, Mai.”

Mai turns back at the sound of her dad’s tone, eyes flitting past you, and you can see the embarrassment. You know he wouldn’t talk to her like this if it wasn’t serious, but your heart aches at the way her cheeks start to turn red; “I’ll uh- I’ll start dinner,” you look down at Mai whose arms are crossed, tears still running down her face, “maybe you should take her in your room, Kook-”

“Daddy won’t listen,” Mai surprises you both, her small voice rising in volume, “I don’t wanna talk!”

With wide eyes, you meet Jungkook’s less than pleased ones, though you know he is stirring beneath shock as well; “Mai, you don’t raise your voice at-”

“You don’t hear me, nobody hears me!” She screams at him, hands fisted so tight as she runs off to her room.

Jungkook starts to follow her when you squeeze his arm, eyes begging him to stay. The strain in his face has you feeling for both of them, “give her a minute.”

Jungkook curses, parts of him healed when he feels you rub his arm, “I have a showing, I can’t cancel again-”

You pat his shoulder, “Go, I’ll um-I’ll do what I can here after she cools off.”

Jungkook thanks you with a silent stare, stepping forward to kiss you when he stops himself. For a moment, he’d forgotten about the unsettled ground the two of you are standing on. You grab his hand and rub his palm, “Go, babe.” He kisses the palm of your hand before he rushes out the door.

You busy yourself with dinner, chopping up vegetables, starting the rice, and preparing the meat, while you’ve given yourself enough of a pep talk before journeying towards Mai’s room.

“Bean,” your tone is careful but direct, knocking a couple of times before inching the door open, “it’s just me.” You poke your head in, eyes immediately falling on the bed where Mai is face-planted into the pillow. You have to bite back a smile, moving over carefully.

You stroke her back once before sitting next to her. For a minute, you think she might be sleeping when you hear her sniffle, her small body jolting, which tells you she is starting to cry again. You can’t help but feel a pang in your chest, knowing there needs to be some sort of discipline. But whatever occurred, the sheer pain it’s causing Mai becomes most evident to you.

“You gotta’ come up for air at some point,” you giggle, tears casting over your eyes, “come on, little one.” For that moment, Mai is the tiny baby you need to save.

You continue to run your hand up and down her back, moving her hair out of the way. Mai refuses to sit up for the first few minutes, but when she finally does, her reddened face struggles to find you.

You wipe her tears away and brush her hair back before leaving for a few minutes. Mai’s cries are quieted when you return with a dampened face towel.

You press the warm towel around Mai’s face and to the back of her neck, repeating those motions while the strain begins to seep out of her slowly; “my mom used to do this whenever I was upset-” you tell her.

Mai finally looks into your eyes, her long eyelashes are wet and clumped together. But you can see a slight shift when you smile at her, “always made me feel better.”

You can see the questions in her mind, maybe wondering how well you’ll listen to her.

“Feel like telling me what happened?” You settle into her bed, sitting back against the headboard. Mai stays stiff for a few seconds, eyes wandering back toward you until she’s scooting back herself. Her arm rests next to yours, fingers playing with the fringe around her pillowcase.

Hearing about Mai getting physical and slapping her friend makes your insides jump. You watch her explain what Jungkook must have seen, trying to keep your mind focused on her voice rather than the questions permeating there. It’s only when Mai starts to cry, looking up at you, do you realize something more is creeping beneath her unexplained anger.

So you wait, taking Mai’s hand in yours while she cries, her head finding a place against your shoulder. You know even more how confused her dad must be, and when she starts to talk again, you know nothing could prepare him for this.

“There was a n-new girl in my math class,” Mai is disrupted by a heavy cry, swallowing back as much as she can before she continues, “my friend told her I don’t have a mom-”

The wind is knocked out of you, you shut your eyes, hand accidentally tightens around Mai’s.

“And they all started to make f-fun of me-me,” Mai hiccups.

Your heart shatters when Mai tells you the bullying began months ago, when school started. Thoughtless words meant to hurt her, taunted by a group of kids who were eventually joined by Mai’s friend. You press your lips together, holding back cries of anger and sadness, every emotion becoming a deluge inside of you, just waiting to break free.

But you continue to wait, only stopping Mai to remind her that she can still breathe.

“I called that girl that mean name because during reading time-” Mai finds you again as if to make sure you are still listening and you nod, wiping her tears though they continue to fall, “because she-she would say mean things about me not having a mom li-like they do.” Mai’s face falls against your arm; you wrap your hand behind her head.

“I thought that if-I thought if you came to the dance with me, they would stop because you’re kinda’ like my mom,” her staccato cries jump against your arm where her mouth is pressed.

You turn to face Mai, holding her wet face between your hands, “It didn’t stop,” she cries, “they just got meaner.”

“Mai,” you’re at a loss for words, breath thinning as you pull her into your lap. Her cries deepen when she feels you cradle her in your arms, pressing her face against your chest.

All you can do is let her cry, her tears staining your skin and wetting the collar of your t-shirt, “it’s not my fault-it’s not.”

“No, it’s not bean,” you can’t stop the tsunami from flooding out of her, pressing kisses onto the top of Mai’s head while repeating that truth.

No. No. No. This is not your fault.

Bam finds his way in at the sound of Mai’s sorrow. You hold her as closely as you can, her uneven breaths casting over your neck as she continues to cry there. At some point, her tears become lost with yours as you think about the year she must have endured.

Quietly. Silently.

It all adds up.

“I love you, Mai,” you say in a trembling breath, “I am so sorry you’ve been hurting.”

Pain finds form in various ways, like the way your eyes strain from crying. It moves you to look down at Mai who has cried every tear she can, her eyes pressed closed and swollen now. Your hand has become numb from where it’s stayed around her back, the other brushing through her hair. Nothing else existed in those moments while you held her. The evening of her breath, the tears that eventually stopped, the way her small hand rested underneath her cheek, that’s all that mattered.

Her whimpering slows into short hums as you rock back and forth, the slow movement allowing her to feel the first peace she’s felt in a while. Her long body barely fits in your lap like it used to, but neither of you cares. A few times she looks up at you, before she reaches up to wipe the stray tears you shed yourself.

“I didn’t mean to make you cry,” she squeaks, voice hoarse.

You smile despite it all, “You are worth every tear, bean.” A memory of Mai as a baby, held in your arms, rushes you. She notices the way your eyes water again, causing her to smile this time.

Four teeth missing, you think to yourself.

“We’re babies,” she jokes, hiccuping from the last few cries that still sit in her chest. You lean down and nuzzle your nose against her forehead.

“Hey-” Jungkook’s voice appears, neither of you hearing the front door when he walked in. His eyes lift when Mai looks at him, the obvious face of his crying child clear to him. He then moves over your face as you wipe it dry, noting to himself the way you are holding Mai, much like you did all those years ago when she was a baby and Jungkook asked you to be at his old apartment with them.

“Daddy-” Mai sounds breathless for a moment, rushing out of your arms and into his. He doesn’t hesitate to lift her into his embrace. He questions you when she holds him around his neck, the sound of gentle sniffling starting up in his ear.

“Mai needs to talk to you,” you breathe, and Jungkook can hear the unevenness in your tone. So he walks back to the bed, sitting Mai in his lap when he sits next to you.

Mai looks at you, waiting for that nod of reassurance. Your hand searches for Jungkook’s, wrapping your fingers around his when Mai starts to tell the same story to him.

The sun has fallen, and crickets chirp from their places in the backyard. A smile finds its way on your face, thinking about the security you felt wrapped around you when Jungkook hugged both you and Mai. Once he learned about the bullying, all he could do was hold onto his daughter, bringing you with them. Mai cried with him while you braved your tears away for the time being.

His hand brushes your shoulder when he comes out, slotting himself between your legs this time, his back against your chest. You ease his head back until it rests against your shoulder, combing his hair back with your fingers.

You can see the tears still there and the way he tries to blink them away, eyes searching the black sky painted above you; “I can’t believe I didn’t know this was going on.” Jungkook’s breath is unsteady. It stays quiet for a beat before he sits up, moving to sit next to you, his body leaning forward.

You watch this pillar of a man, the love of your life, crumble. Eyes blinking rapidly to phase the tears away, you touch his back with a cautious hand. His eyes are wet when he looks at you. “I’m trying,” he laughs desperately, “I’m trying my best here because I love my kid.”

“Jungkook, you have been an excellent father. Nobody is expecting perfection, especially Mai. All she wants is your love, and you’ve never been short of giving that to her…” The crease in your brow deepens. “There’s a lot to figure out, and we’ll start by going to the school tomorrow.”

“I called Ms. Choi after Mai fell asleep - gave her a brief explanation,” Jungkook says, “we’re going to meet tomorrow with those kids and their parents.”

“Good,” you brush your thumb over his ear, “I can-I can go, if you want me-”

He’s already nodding before you can finish, “We need you there.” Your heart squeezes at the despair in his voice.

You see it in his eyes that he’s not just talking about Mai. You feel your throat constrict when he doesn’t turn away from you, sitting upright; “god, I’m trying here too - to understand you. Trying to figure out what works best for us because I don’t want this to end. I am committed to you…” All of this rolls out of him.

You bite your lip when it starts to tremble.

“I know why you stopped talking to me all those times back then, when you caught me,” he shakes his head, “I hate thinking about it, knowing now how you felt about me, I get it.” He looks at you, fingers finding yours; “it still hurt though, not having you to talk to or to be around even if it was just for a few days we didn’t talk- I always knew something was wrong.”

The determination to hold your gaze sits bright on Jungkook’s face, traces of guilt in your fingertips that rub across the tattoos on his hand; “I never imagined marriage in my future- and maybe it’s not fair for me to be afraid but,” he lets out a disheartened laugh, wiping his face, “how do I marry someone that runs away before we can face the problem, someone who looks, I don’t know, horrified, whenever I touch her?”

Your eyes fall into your lap, tears dripping much like Mai’s did. Jungkook turns until his knee hits yours, his hand moving to rest on the side of your thigh. It’s love that you feel when he starts smoothing his palm there.

“That night, after I stopped you in your bedroom,” you sniffle, following courage to lift your head and look him in the eye, “I st-started to see all of these women just there every time you kissed me or touched me. They taunted me, made me feel incompetent…” you laugh, tears falling one after the other.

Jungkook loves you with his eyes, waiting on bated breath while you string together every word you can; “Jungkook I want to take the next step but, I have a lot of fears when it comes to that with you and I started to believe there was no other way to commit but get married, an-and I want that too but-” he never takes his eyes off of you as you continue to work through your words, “I’m afraid, I’m afraid that I won’t add up to whatever you are expecting from me.”

He leans in closer and wraps his hands around your neck, moving them across your skin so you can feel him, him - Jungkook- the man you love, “you…that’s all I expect is you, you are all I want.”

Your face falls, and as a wave of relief crashes over you, you realize the thing you feared most held the answer you’ve so desperately needed.

“I respect you,” he continues, dropping his hands to rest on top of your legs, “I don’t want to do anything you aren’t ready for… I also just love you,” he sniffles a brief laugh, “I want to show you that.”

You move your hand behind his neck, tenderly rubbing his skin, “I-I want to too-I really do. I just-” you sigh, carefully piecing together all you’ve observed about this man over the years, “you don’t have to always be physical with me to show me you love me. Y-your love for me goes beyond how you can make my body feel, Jungkook.”

It’s then he realizes the crutch he’s used for so many years before dating you.

If nobody was willing to accept his love, at least they would accept his body.

But here, sitting with you, having you next to him? For the first time, Jungkook takes a deep breath and lets it all go. You love him for the man he is inside, as torn as he may be in parts, you accept him despite your own fears.

“I’m sorry,” you breathe, moving your hand down his arm until it lands safely inside of his. He takes your fingers and threads them through his. “I’m sorry for making you feel like this.”

“I’m sorry too, baby,” his eyes dart up to yours. A tender laugh falls out of you, stomach doing flips as you pull your boyfriend in for a hug. He feels safe wrapped up in your arms, and you revel in the way he leans his weight against you.

“It is us, Kook,” you chuckle into his hair, “if we figured out as friends how to raise a whole kid, we can figure out what loving each other looks like.”

Jungkook sits up, a smile now stretched across his face. For a moment, the sunlight catches that small ring on his lip, causing you to giggle. He puts his hands around your face this time, “and I do love you, I’ll spend forever showing you that.”

Desperate to feel him, you lean forward until his lips catch yours.

“Me too.” You whisper.

With more clarity, life doesn’t stop the three of you from moving with the whirlwind of constant motion. Mai’s summer vacation starts on hopeful ground, but the matter between those kids and Mai is brought to an abrupt end when Mai’s friend confesses to everything. Within that first week of the summer month, the other kids follow until the situation is brought to full light. Mai was still reprimanded for hitting her friend, and with tutoring sessions once a week, Jungkook’s daughter was already blossoming into the wonderful little girl you both have raised.

He marveled at her when she expressed one day that she wanted to move on and start at a different school. “I’m not mad at my friend anymore, but I wanna make real friends,” Mai said, popping her head up from the coloring book in front of her while you and Jungkook cuddled underneath a blanket, watching a show you had quickly become addicted to. You rested your cheek against Jungkook’s chest, rubbing his stomach when you felt him sigh. A wide smile spread across his cheeks.

You settled for the kind of awkwardness that fell over the kitchen one night when Mai let ‘mom’ slip out when talking about you, soon after she was seeking a hiding place behind her dad, who stood still as stone. After coaxing Mai into your safe hold, the two of you determined that the endearment was to be determined. Mai settled the matter entirely with a reassuring hug that flooded your body with more love than you knew what to do with.

The three of you celebrated with a weekend getaway at the beach after your home business reached its first milestone. You and Jungkook chasing Mai and Bam, who officially graduated from puppy training school, around the sand. Bam barked after Mai whenever she swam too far from him as he watched her from the shore with you next to him, wanting his little, loyal companion to be by his side at all times.

In the last month of Mai’s summer vacation, you often found yourself observing the little girl in silence. Wondering what on earth life would’ve been like if she had never come to be. It didn’t matter how; it just mattered that she was here, born to a father who was once so terrified but now he walked this tightrope with his daughter safe in his arms. And a dog to boot.

There were several nights of tears following her experience of being bullied, some nights when she muttered words of a lost identity she would never know because of her absent mother, something far too complex for a young girl to comprehend. You were there for all of them, sitting there with her and Jungkook and taking in every ache Mai had to share. You assured both of them you would continue to be there for the years to come. It wasn’t easy, and there were times Jungkook had no clue what to say. But where words failed, he mended her wounds with long hugs, cuddling her to sleep with you hugging Mai on the other side of her bed.

Once she was safe in her dreams, you and Jungkook made it a point to be together. Learning the comforts of intimacy in other ways drew you closer to Jungkook. Talking about fears when they came up. Working to understand why one was feeling a certain way. Feeling your heart grow in size, the images of his past began to fade away until they no longer existed. Kissing Jungkook became yours again, being held by him - something only you knew with him.

Jungkook steeps in this feeling, as secure as he’d felt with you as his friend, he was starting to understand it while falling for you, it was growing stronger with each day. Watching you fight away those demons, not allowing them to hurt you anymore, he was realizing how prized he was in your eyes. You loved him in a way he never thought he deserved. And as much as he was eager to get to a place where he could share himself with you, he was learning this kind of love needed respect to feel how true it was.

It was still rocky, but there was a clear path forming, and the two of you made sure to remind each other when needed, that it would always be you and him.

Living this life begins to settle into place, it nestles into a part of you that leaves you sure about the decision you’d been mulling over since it was brought up.

“Really?” Jungkook’s face mirrored the childlike glee you saw so often in his daughter, excitement so simple. It made your insides burst when Jungkook lifted you into a hug, “You really want to move in?”

You just nod, lips bunched into the brightest smile that Jungkook knew he would remember forever.

You can’t help but recall that night as you fill your side of the closet Jungkook made for you, unpacking boxes one at a time. Your eyes widen for a moment when you look around you, feeling slightly suffocated by what was left. Jungkook was helping you before he had to start dinner for his parents who would be coming over.

“Baby?” He calls from the hallway.

“Yeah?” You shout, putting a blouse onto a hanger when you hear him enter the closet.

“You forgot a box-“ he says.

“Huh,” you arch an eyebrow, looking at all of your boxes, “no?“

You turn around to look at Jungkook, who’s standing straight like a pin, a dish towel draped over his shoulder. Mai comes in giggling, leaning herself against Jungkook’s legs and hugging him there.

You laugh, “I’ve got them all here…“ Your breath stills in your throat, forcing you to stop when your eyes drop to the small box in his hand.

The sound of your heartbeat pounds in your ears, everything begins to move slowly, “Kook- wh-what is that, what are you do-“

Jungkook lowers to one knee and opens the box to reveal a ring, breath shaking out of him when he starts to speak, “I love you,” a nervous giggle interrupts him, “baby, it’s you and me, it’s always going to be us - will you marry me?”

Mai can’t stop her giggles while yours hiccup out of you, nerves tingling in your fingers, causing you to drop the blouse in your hands, “are you serious?”

All he can do is nod, swallowed by his own nerves, while Mai can’t contain herself.

“Yes- what? Yes, Jungkook,” you start to cry, emotions pulled between disbelief and sheer ecstasy. Mai’s excitement explodes, jumping around the two of you when Jungkook stands and swallows you in a hug. She wraps her arms around your bodies, cheering into her dad’s side.

An unexplained peace rushes you when you pull Jungkook back to look at him. All you can see for that moment in time is the man you love, you see his tears and feel his arms around you. He mouths an ‘I love you,’ that has you doing the same, Mai’s joyous noises pressed into both of you while you share your quiet moment.

You and Jungkook breathe small laughs while setting the dining table when Mai answers the door for her grandparents, shouting, “She said yes she said yes!” Before greeting them properly. Jungkook’s arm wraps around your hip when he goes to kiss the side of your head, “think she’s more excited than us,” he teases.

After dinner, the five of you end the evening out in the backyard, your hand feeling sore from the way Mrs. Jeon and Mai take turns to gawk at your ring.

“Excited to start at your new school soon, bug?” Mr. Jeon gleamed at his granddaughter who sat on his lap. Mai jostles her head with an eager nod, “One more week!” She announces.

Jungkook rubs your shoulder, the three of you laughing. You nestle into his side, enjoying this feeling.

The night grows quieter with ease. Feeling Jungkook’s eyes on you has you nearly forgetting that his family is there too while they coddle Mai.

There is a shift inside of you when you look back at him. All of these months since having that conversation, focusing on Mai’s healing while figuring out the reigns to your relationship together, every measure of his commitment you’ve felt, it overwhelms you. It sits brighter than the ring on your finger, though catching glimpses of it still makes your heart stutter.

This feeling blooms inside of you, it brushes your skin in a tickling rush, causing you to sink further into Jungkook’s embrace.

“I love you,” you whisper to him.

He senses it, uncaring for those next few seconds as he kisses you. With a passing glance from Mrs. Jeon, she just smiles to herself, distracting Mai further.

What’s desired is expressed through fluttering blinks, left to wondering minds between you and Jungkook as you share the rest of the evening with his family. Subtle hints are given through passing touches or the way your fingers sneak beneath the collar of his t-shirt to touch the space below his neck.

“I’m really happy,” Mai tells you once in bed for the night, her small hands mushing your cheeks together.

“You make me happy, bean,” you snort into her skin, causing her to yelp.

“Night, my baby,” Jungkook bends down to kiss her, “sleep tight.”

“I won’t let the bedbugs bite,” Mai repeats their ever-famous tag line before whispering final good nights.

There’s only a breath of space between you and your true love when you shut the door to Mai’s bedroom.

“Hey.” You breathe, eyes drunk with love, and you can see his pupils dilate at the mere sound of your voice.

You chuckle, shaking your head because this man has you wrapped up in safety and love. It takes your breath away and all you want in that moment is to have him feel the same.

Every motion you and Jungkook make is done with utmost consideration for each other. Nerves bind with excitement. Sighs mingled with giggles. When he feels you move in haste, he reminds you there’s time. Allowing yourself to become lost in vulnerability beneath the captor of your heart. Your willing heart becomes exposed because you want more than anything to show every part of it to Jungkook.

He handles you carefully, both with his hands and in heart. Because he knows that most fragile part of you now sits inside his palms. A few times his breath stops when he peers down at you, your hair splayed over the pillows, sparkling eyes beaming up at him. He starts to feel what’s left of those insecurities wash away until they cease to exist.

All he can feel with each tender brush of skin and lasting kiss is pure and absolute love.

A sweet smile spreads across your face when a sleeping Jungkook falls into your sight, his mouth slightly agape. You move your hand up and push your fingers through his growing hair, rolling your eyes because who knows how your man’s hair will look next week.

You always wondered what this would be like. Being the first to wake up, still a little too early in the morning, but the first thing you’re drawn to is the person lying next to you, lightly snoring. How drunk you would feel off the sheer love shared with this person, but of course, the person in mind was always your best friend. Back then, it was a mere fantasy, one you were certain would never see the light of day but would stay buried only in the deepest part of your mind.

Now, nerves tingle through your body and you can feel the sheet laid over your bodies. It feels exciting and still, a little terrifying.

Jungkook begins to stir beneath your touch, groaning. You come to, only to be reduced to a puddle when he wraps his hand around your forearm to pull you close to him. His skin is warm from the mattress, and perhaps lasting traces are carried over from last night.

“So early,” he mutters, kissing your hand that is held in his.

You peer over at the clock on his side of the bed, haze immediately broken when you note the time, knowing Mai will be up soon. The first place she travels to is her dad’s room - your room- for a morning cuddle with the two of you. You hope she never grows out of it, and for a second, your heart aches at the thought of her turning 8 soon.

But today it’s different, and you��re horrified suddenly by the thought of your bare bodies shielded only by a thin sheet. Jungkook opens one eye when he feels you move the sheet off of you, ready to swing your legs off the bed when he stops you, gently holding you by the wrist and bringing you back to the warmth of his chest, “Where are you going?” He whines, his morning voice sits close to your ear.

You push him away despite every part of you craving to stay glued to the love of your life; “Kook, I should get up before Mai comes in here-“ you peel your wrist away from his strong but mindful grip, eliciting a more serious tone from him.

“Hey-“ he proves to be the stronger one, his careful approach bringing you back to him, looking at you with soft, tired eyes. He pulls your chin between his fingers, mouth hovering over yours- that smile, those eyes, he’s irresistible when you hear him whisper, “kiss me.”

And so you do, a few times before he finally looks at you again; “just relax-” his appeal is slow, conscious of you, “stay in bed.“

The part of you that’s scared wants to keep fighting it but the way he’s looking at you speaks volumes to the part that feels safe there. Now, a year ago, when Jungkook was telling you he was in love with you too, and learning what all of that meant in the time following, the sheer terror of intimacy with Jungkook. It ceased to exist right here. You wondered if you would ever make it here, the morning following a night like last night.

Would you wake up steeped in deep regret, despite sharing it with the person you’ve loved for far too long? Or would it be pure ecstasy, a heated blush still rushing through your body as you recall every action.

Jungkook is still holding you close, a glazed look in his eye as he keeps you inside the haven he’s created in his hands, just for you.

You can’t help but smile, knowing you were feeling the latter.

“Baby?” You finally speak, and it surprises him, making him jump. You laugh, cooing over him before apologizing with a kiss to his chest.

“Mhm?” He chuckles, fingers combing through your hair.

“This was perfect,” you draw small circles over his pec, noting the goosebumps that form over his skin from your languorous touch, “you’re perfect for me.”

He stops breathing for a second, and in the next your world is spinning when he moves you to lie on your back as he hovers over you. Your eyes are wide, which makes him giggle, his eyes falling with the sweetest expression on his face. You know he’s feeling blissful.

“You think so?” He queries with a smirk.

You simply nod, reaching up to caress the side of his neck and cheek.

All he can do is respond with a kiss- maybe three. By the time he’s done, you’re left in a giggling heap beneath him, begging him to stop his teasing touches as he runs his fingers up and down your sides.

A light knock at the bedroom door sends him flying off you and nearly off the bed.

Mai’s soft voice follows behind it, “Daddy?”

You rip the sheet away from Jungkook and drape it around yourself, leaving him with nothing but a belly laugh as he watches your panic; “I told you!” You scold him between clenched teeth. He can’t help but find your modesty endearing, watching you run to the bathroom while he finds clothes to put on.

“Morning, bean,” he greets his little girl at the door, picking her up and holding her in his arms for a moment. He loves how she smells in the morning, the scent of her shampoo from last night’s bath still in her hair, how she yawns into his shoulder before croaking a good morning back to him.

She asks for you, and he smiles, “showering,” he answers.

Mai gasps and sits up in her dad’s arms, mouth round as she says, “Let’s surprise her and make her waffles!”

Jungkook kisses Mai’s forehead, beside himself, before agreeing.

So, there are still things you have to get used to. You laugh at yourself while in the shower, lathering shampoo into your hair. A part of you doesn’t want to wash away what Jungkook impressed upon your skin. The way he muttered words of love against your stomach, or how his warm breath tickled your bare shoulder with his future vows to you.

His voice replays in your ear where he kissed you, “you and me.”

#jungkook fluff #jungkook x reader #jungkook fic #dad!jungkook #bts x reader #bts fluff #i can't wait...series by serendipitous seven

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