#canadian humour

[canadachronicles]

[gay-jewish-bucky]

*insert clever 'Oh, Canada' joke here*

[qwerty-between-the-lines]

The giant staggered sideways. He screamed in frustration and slammed into Frank again, but Alcyoneus was completely out of his weight division.

Frank head-butted him so hard Alcyoneus flew backward and landed spread-eagled on the ice.

“You—can’t—kill me,” Alcyoneus growled. “You can’t—”

Frank turned back to his normal form. He walked up to the giant, whose oily wounds were steaming. The gems fell out of his hair and sizzled in the snow. His golden skin began to corrode, breaking into chunks.

Hazel dismounted and stood next to Frank, her sword ready. “May I?”

Frank nodded. He looked into the giant’s seething eyes. “Here’s a tip, Alcyoneus. Next time you choose the biggest state for your home, don’t set up base in the part that’s only ten miles wide. Welcome to Canada, idiot.”

-The Son of Neptune, Chapter 47

[just-call-mefr1es]

guess wjo doesn’t have school tomorrow because of a blizzard warning😻😻😻😻😘😘😘

[greyhairedcanuck2]

🤣

[paddysnuffles]

I never thought I'd see the day when an American was able to make jokes about Canada that are painfully and 100% accurate

Highlights include:

"It turns out that there's a big Filipino population in Winnipeg. Now, I don't know much about the Philippines other than that it's a tropical paradise... which Winnipeg is NOT. This brings up the question: How bad are things in the Philippines if you're moving to Winnipeg?!"

"Manitoba is that friend you invite last to the party... but only because you forgot they exist."

"Then there's the Saint John/St. John's fiasco... Did... Did no one think to point it out?"

"Newfoundland is like that crazy uncle that you don't introduce to friends right away."

"'[Hey Newfoundland] just one final question: Is Newfoundland two words or three?' [and they were like] 'One word.'"

[just-goblin-thoughts]

I refuse to believe moose are real. They're an elaborate prank played on us all by the Canadians. Like the drop bears in Australia.

[thevaudevilledemon]

I haven't posted this one yet... it's kind of a Canadian joke.

[fordhampr]

DANFORTH COMEDY FESTIVAL - NIGHT 2

Saturday night and another great line-up of comedy, this time at the Comedy Bar on the Danforth, near Victoria Park. It was nearly a full house for the second night of the brand new Danforth Comedy Festival and I was thrilled to be introduced to headliner Nathan Macintosh who blew the roof off the place! First off, MC Azfar Ali (below) warmed up the already pumped crowd, spritzing with several…

[magpiedminx]

https://www.thebeaverton.com/2018/03/report-popular-kink-among-millennials-role-playing-couple-owns-house

Beaverton keeps trying to claim they're satire. I do not believe them.

[justc2world]

Carlos is so amused by him 😭

[canadachronicles]

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A post shared by CBC Gem (@cbcgem)

An oldie but a goodie, eh?

[yrsonpurpose]

ALEX ALBON & JENSON BUTTON Canadian GP 2023

[the-moons-toasty-ace]

Was at the grocery store and saw a certain brand of soap and it made me think of if Johnny and Simon had to spend time in Canada and buy a bar of Soap. Simon, thinking he was a comedian, bought a certain brand just to piss Johnny off.

Soap, from the bathroom: Uhm, Simon! There's something weird in the bathroom!

Ghost (knowing full well what it is): Really? What is it?

Soap, holding up a box of Irish Spring soap: An' what the hell do ya think you're playin' at then?

Ghost: I haven't a clue what you're talking about, Johnny.

*Meanwhile in the common room.*

Gaz: Captain, do you hear that screaming?

Price: Don't mind it, Gaz. Ghost just bought some toiletries.

Gaz: I don't see why-

Price: He said it was for the leprechaun.

Gaz: Oh.

[saganssorcery]

[psvcomic]