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#candied pecans are just !!!!
crumble-cookii · 1 year
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I made another silly bug boy <3
Orchid Mantis Cookie lives in and rules a kingdom found inside of a large, hollow tree. The Mantis Kingdom is not very welcoming to new people. They are barely welcoming to each other. Despite this, they live in mild harmony under the guide of Orchid Mantis.
Orchid mantises are rare, and their mantis forms help protect the kingdom by using their flower mimicry as defense and food collection. This, along with the fact that he is as big as a female mantis, is why he is the ruler.
Mimi-Cry is a lump of clay that... well, it hates itself. It molds itself to mimic other things but can never keep the form up for long. Mimic-Cry feels attracted to Orchid Mantis because of this, since they both pretend to be things they are not. Mimi-Cry's favorite thing to mimic is flowers, like Orchid Mantis.
At first, Orchid did not like Mimic-Cry, but eventually, as it kept changing into different things to get him to love it back, he grew very fond and protective of the sentient clay lump. Mimic-Cry is now not allowed to leave his side, out of fear it could get hurt.
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Relationship Chart:
Gingerbrave(friendly): Thanks for helping... I guess.
Licorice Cookie(tension): Ugh, so annoying...
Kiwi Cookie(tension): What do you think you're doing?!
Werewolf Cookie(friendly): You're alright, I suppose.
Pecan Candy Cookie(trust): You. I like you.
Appears On:
Gingerbrave(trust): A little mean, but, you're alright!
Licorice Cookie(tension): Never met someone so rude..!
Kiwi Cookie(tension): Sorry, it was an accident!
Pecan Candy Cookie(trust): Wow, royalty. How exciting!
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the-cooler-king · 6 months
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I have a chef group chat for the ppl that make & deliver our ice cream. Was REALLY debating adding on a peanut butter cup because I want to swap that one with the cinnamon on a special we have. I'm like agonizing over it. What would anyone else do etc etc. Then I'm like wait a minute. Every single person would say "brownie pbc sundae sounds fucking delightful". Added on the extra pbc.
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monsterbutch · 7 months
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guess who just candied some pecansss
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thiccpersonality · 8 months
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Is it just me?
No one: 🦗🦗🦗
Literally no one at all: 🦗🦗🦗
Me trying to make my way to the kitchen in the dark for some yogurt:
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medicinemane · 1 year
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It sucks how bad cooked carrots suck, because raw carrots are awesome
But you've got no crunch, almost none of that flavor... ugh
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reallifepotato · 1 year
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Also unrelated part of my dream someone served me the most scrumptious looking brownie and I was so excited until I realized there were pecans on top and also all throughout and I can't have pecans 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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pascals-doll · 7 months
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candy
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ellie williams x reader
🫧 happy valentines day to all my beautiful followers | enjoy this vday special 🩷 am i uploading this ar midnight because a bitch had classes and work yes but its valentines (was technically) IM GGONNA WRITE AN ELLIE FIC 🧘‍♀️
🫧 inspired by the song candy by doja cat | bed of roses PT2
🫧 description: fluffy, cute surprises, reader knows how to know paint a bit, just fluff, cute fluff,ellie sings to you (i took the scene from the game because i cherish it sm) smut, SLUT SMUT💋, power dynamic, dom!ellie, sub!reader, you and ellie live together, reader is PUSSYHUNGRY (mmm im so- i would do anything for that tsunami), reader eats out ellie on stairs (you’re welcome), fingering, praises, no use of y/n, use of petnames like doll, mama, and good girl, very little degradation, hair pulling, clit sucking, face grinding, cum eating, just ellie getting eaten so good! enjoy
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She's just like candy, she's so sweet
but you know that it ain't real cherry
know that it ain't real cherry
🫧
it was valetines day today which meant ellie got to spoil you rotten; it is very well- deserved.
you would always be very thoughtful with your gifts.
this valentines day, you sneakily woke up around 1 AM and worked until dawn on customizing a wooden workstation that you got her for her artwork.
you knew you had work in the morning but you would do anything for the woman who’s protected you, provided for you, and pleased you.
you painted the workstation very carefully a dark earth-green. you let each coat of paint dry before beginning to carefully paint details on it.
you were going to paint symbols for each of her favorite memories onto it. you took references from her own beautiful drawings.
one of the details you painted were the beginning of Joel’s; now her guitar, painting even the moth.
one of the guitar strings then ran around the whole work-station, dragging the brush till the end.
you began to draw small moths and different flowers with herbs carefully placing them along the string line.
lastly, finishing it up by drawing a silhouette of the both of your bodies intertwined, then painting an outline of ellie’s knife and joel’s gun side by side on the side of her workbench.
once you were done, you carved both of your initials into the side of the workbench.
you transfered all of her essentials from the small broken down drawers; that could barely hold up to her made with so much love customized workstation.
you made your way back into your shared warm bed, careful not to wake up ellie.
sunrise made its way into the sky, ellie waking up now as you now slept.
ellie noticed you got up in the middle of the night, searching for your warmth but she shrugged it off before knocking into slumber again.
ellie got up very quietly, planting a kiss on your head before heading into her work room to get her guitar.
she walked into her art room, stepping as she scans the room. she immediately stopped in her steps, her eyes falling onto your beautiful workstation.
ellie’s heart pounds outside of her chest, tears wanting to form in her hazel eyes as a rush of emotions take over her.
she walks around the small wooden dark-green station, her handing brushing it softly as she takes in your designs.
she couldnt help but think about although you had work sadly on valetines day, you still did this for her.
this was bigger than the world to ellie.
you were the most perfect girl and if one thing was for certain, ellie would be spending an eternity of valetine’s day with you.
🫧
I can be your sugar when you're fiendin' for that sweet spot
Put me in your mouth, baby, and eat it 'til your teeth rot
I can be your cherry, apple, pecan,
or your key lime
Baby, I got everything and so much more than she's got
you were now currently at work, you hated how you got called in today.
you asked ellie if she was going to be good with you going to work today, in which she responded by pulling down your panties.
lets just say, you had a very pleasant morning before going into work.
while you were away at work, ellie got to work on her surprise because eating your cum for breakfast wasn’t enough.
she went to almost all the floral shops she could, selling them out of their pink and red roses.
ellie covered the entryway with petals, even the staircase that leads upstairs, and leading all the way up into your room.
the living room, she had a fairy lights hung along with pink lit candles on the ground.
ellie had a huge case of flowers waiting for you, wrapped in the arrangement of your inital.
that was only the downstairs, your room was filled with more surprises.
your shared bed was covered in rose petals, a couple small gifts waiting for you while your surprise gift was tucked away by ellie.
ellie finished up any last miniute preparations before you came home from work.
she changed from her pj shirt and boyshorts from this morning to a flannel with a black-tee and some baggy shorts that exposed her Calvin Klein lining.
She's just like candy, she's so sweet
But you know that it ain't real cherry, know that it ain't real cherry
She's just like candy, she's so sweet (She's so sweet)
But you know that it ain't real, know that it ain't real
🫧
you came home a bit exhausted but excited because you picked up a teddy bear that held a heart with the writing “i love u” on it from a street vendor, leaving your job.
once you made it home, beginning to turn the keys to step through your front door.
you open the door to see your beautiful auburn-hair girlfriend.
she was sitting there on your shared loveseat, her beautiful fingers strumming her guitar.
the melodious tone from the strums of her guitar strumming the song your love for each other shares.
she began to sing softly “talking away” your hand cant help but go ovee your mouth as you felt tears begin to form.
the sound of her silky voice singing through your ears, making your heart pound and face hot.
“today’s another day to find you”
you could listen to ellie sing for the rest of your life, tears were already streaming down your face. ellie couldn’t look you in the eyes while she sang because if she did, she wouldn’t be able to finish.
you made her heart go a million miles per minute like a schoolgirl crush.
you made her stomach flutter like she was born with a butterfly nest inside her.
you made her soul shine like the sun after never-ending rain.
ellie finished serenating you, putting her guitar down
she finally looked up at you, clutching a teddy bear with tears streaming down your face.
before ellie could say anything, you ran into her arms; immediately taking you in to her embrace.
this was a feeling words couldn’t express, but only actions.
your heart felt like it was going to pop out of your chest with the clash of ellie’s lips onto yours.
you weren’t alone with ellie barely being able to catch her breath but so desperate for you.
the way your lips moved with such hasty movement but yet still passionately and amorously.
you began to walk towards the staircase, lips not leaving a moment. your eyes slightly opening time to time to make sure you were guiding you and ellie correctly.
“all i wanted-“ you began but were interrupted by her lips again.
“all day was to” ellie pulled away momentarily to let you continue.
“come home to this” you whined out against her lips, your tongue slightly licking over them.
🫧
Sugar coated, lies unfolded, you still lick the wrapper
It's addictive, you know this, but you still lick the wrapper
Sugar coated, lies unfolded, you still lick the wrapper
It's addictive, you know this, but you still lick the wrapper
you were fillied with arousal and need to please as you dropped to your knees…on the staircase. you could careless at this given moment.
your hands ran through her back, feeling each crevess of each toned muscle, then coming back around to her arms.
you gave her strong-toned arms a soft squeeze before having them go up to her chest. you needed to have her.
“doll i got a surprise in the room, lets-” ellie begins but you didn’t care.
“no” you said, looking her in the eyes as you unzip and unbutton her shorts “right here, right now” you whine out, pulling down ellie shorts completely.
ellie would be lying if she said you dying to eat her out on each other’s staircase wasn’t the hottest thing, especially on fucking valentine’s day.
it was you, how could she deny you.
“that desperate, mama?” she teases you as you peck her toned abdomen. you gave her a slight whimper as you nod.
she brings herself down to sit on the stairs, grabbing you by your jaw to pull you in for a kiss.
your lips meet again, your hand traveling down into her boxers immediately feeling seeping slick cunt “you drive me insane” you moan out, your mind was so drunk by her.
she had you high on her scent, taste, look, and touch. anything ellie did could have you on your knees, just like this.
your fingers begin to rub her clit in circular motion causing her breathing to hitch and soft moans of content escape her mouth as your lips travel down to her neck.
you begin to suck on the skin as your fingers massaged her clit, slightly putting pressure here and there causing ellie to let out gentle-yet-loud groan.
ellie’s hips began to rise to meet your hand “my beautiful doll-s’good f’me” she mumbled under her breathy moans.
you were sure you left her a purpletrail from her neck leading into her shoulder before going down a couple more steps.
you waste no time in pulling off her boxers, meeting with her wet pussy “s’pretty els, i love you.” you were just completely dazed by ellie at this point, wanting to please her and have her taste on you for days.
“you gonna drool or eat up, doll?” ellie smirks, she knew the effect she had on you and it made you fiend to please her even more.
your hands go to spread her thighs open a bit more before diving your head in between her legs. you met face to face with her juiced pussy, her slick coating your tongue as you lick a stripe.
“ah fuck, doll!” ellie moans out, her hips slightly bucking against your face as her hand had a grip on your hair.
the way you were on your knees on these steps buried into ellie’s pussy, your tongue collects her juices as you begin to swirl your tongue around her clit sucking softly.
she tasted just like candy, you grab her one of her thighs, hooking it up to balance on your shoulder.
the wider angle made her throw her head back “s’fuck doll! just like that. eat it just like that.” her vile voice praising the way you took the way she slopped her pussy against your tongue.
ellie began to work herself towards her orgasm on your tongue, her hand following the movement of your head.
you ate her out like this was your last meal, not wanting to let a single drop “god fuck-y-you’re insane!” she whined out as you worked you fucked her with yout tongue.
ellies stomach stomach flexes, her toned abdomen becoming more prominent as her breathy moans turn into pants and loud gutteral moans as you took your free hand; licking her asshole all the way up to her clit.
“fuck fuck fuck, doll! s’such a good girl” ellie’s hand swore she could’ve pulled your hair our by now but you could careless, the only thing on your mind was making this woman cum.
she deserved the way you ate her with delight, completely letting her use your face for her orgasm.
your nails dig into her thigh as you feel yourself slowly loosing your breath; but you were not leaving till she had came all over your face.
“s’close god! youre such a fuckin’ slut f’me.” her orgasm finally riding out.
“atta girl, lick it all up again.” she praises, pulling you back up from her pussy to her lips, tasting herself momentarily before her hand finds the back of your head guiding you to the white cum-beed that seaped out of her now fucked-out hole.
you licked her from asshole up, completely picking up her cum onto the tip on tongue causing you moan out as your lips were wrapped around her.
once you pulled away meeting her eyes, her cum covering your lips causing your face to glisten lightly.
“you’re a demon” ellie brings you into her embrace on the stairs.
“its not my fault you’re my favorite candy”
🫧
She's just like candy, she's so sweet
But you know that it ain't real cherry, know that it ain't real cherry
She's just like candy, she's so sweet
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a/n > part 2 ??? 😇
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hound-of-ulster · 2 years
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The secret ingredient is Chaos.
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shellshocklove · 13 days
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brat three: i don't wanna feel feelings | joel miller
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pairing/AU: joel miller x brat!female!reader – no outbreak
summary: joel’s brat summer is coming to an end.
warnings: this is an 18+ fic so mdni! age gap, enemies to lovers vibes? swearing, drinking of alcohol, smoking, reader wears a dress, heels and makeup but otherwise no other descriptions, use of pet names, some angst, smut, brat tamer!joel, dom!joel, some daddy!joel, manhandling, some light bondage, degradation (whore, slut), oral sex (f+m receiving), multiple orgasms, creampie, unprotected sex (don’t do it!!), no use of y/n
a/n: ok so here's part three to brat! there's one more part planned, and then that's it! <3 big thank you to @dustydaddyyy for reading through this, i love you!! <333 happy reading! 💚
main masterlist / series masterlist / ao3
from the river to the sea, palestine will be free 🇵🇸 this account stands with palestine. the creator of tlou is a zionist, and the second game is largly based on israel/palestine. please, everyone who interacts, educate yourself about the genocide happening right now, and support/donate.
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The gravel moaned under your heels as you carefully left your uber at the foot of the driveway. The air smelled of summer; flower-y notes with a hint of anticipation. Cars lined the driveway, tightly parked with the wheels almost hanging in the air over the ditch. The sky turned purple then pink as the sun started to dip beneath the horizon, the small beams of light coming through the doors of the big barn beamed brighter and brighter the closer you got.
This wasn’t the first time you’d crashed a party, but it was your first wedding. You’d looked up the place online, Pecan Grove Ranch. It was nice, but pedestrian, not filled with the extravagance a party of this size would rank up in your father’s circles – the ones you’d been dragged too ever since you were old enough to put on a charming smile. This felt real, no fake happy smiles and secret codes, just people gathering to celebrate love.
Love.
It had always been a thing that happened to other people. To your friends, to the protagonist in a movie, to the person on the other side of your kiss. They always thought they were in love with you, but love always felt like a joke everyone was in on except for you, a story told to sell movie tickets or for a song to hit number one.
Sex was different, sex you understood. It was like acting, and you had no problem slipping into the role. It was fun, it was a release, it was a fleeting connection you couldn’t help but chase.
One you were chasing right now.
Maybe Joel was right, maybe you are desperate, but it was his fault for leaving you like that, right on edge but without the release. Honestly, it was his fault you were here, you thought as you stood outside the open barn doors.
Off to the side a few of the guests had gathered around a picnic table. Billowing white smoke clouded them as you watched their animated conversation between drags of their cigarettes and sips of their drinks. A small boy ran past you, almost crashing into you as a little girl chased after him with a giggling laugh. They chased each other on the grass, as they ran between the large trees where a million lighting bugs danced between them.
The air felt light like cotton candy, a sweetness of celebrated love coated the faces that emerged as you stepped inside. The picking guitar intro of TLC’s ‘No Scrubs’ met you at the door, followed by a large cheer, bordering on collective scream, coming from the people on the dance floor. Walking slowly, you followed the back wall of the barn. A light breeze came through the open doors and windows, and tugged at your dress as you closed in on the bar. 
Open bar… Nice, Tommy. 
Most of the guest had their assigned seats at the round tables pressed up against the wooden walls of the barn. They must’ve been moved to make room for the dancefloor, you thought as you leaned up against the side of the bar. It was rustic, made entirely of untreated wood and decorated with large white bows. The bartender was around your age, handsome, and painfully bored it seemed by the way he lit up when you approached.
“What can I getcha?” he asked, a charming lilt to his voice.
“Um…” your teeth caught on your bottom lip, as you scanned the drinks menu. They all had quirky names, most likely inside jokes or references to the wedding couple that mostly went over your head.
“One ‘Contractor Juice’, please?” you ordered, holding back from cringing at the name. At least you got this reference, and the promise of mint and citrus mixed with alcohol had never failed you before.
“Sure thing, doll,” the bartender smiled, a little too sweet for your liking, or maybe you’d developed a preference for grumpy frowns.
“So… bride or groom?” he asked, making conversation as he worked.
“Um… groom,” you told him, leaning your back against the bar as your eyes rolled over the tables, searching.
“Ain’t seen you up here yet,” he said, a question unsaid hanging in the air as he handed you your drink.
Turning around, you thanked him and slipped a five-dollar bill in the tip jar. “There,” you said, “Now you can turn off the charm.”
You watched how he tried to hide his smile, as he held up his hands in a surrender, “Who’s to say I can turn it off?”
He smiled when you rolled your eyes at him. It was cute, two dimples separated by perfect white teeth. At the start of the summer, you might’ve let him fuck you at the end of the night, but the summer was coming to a close, and you had your eyes set on someone else.
He had his back turned, but you knew it was him, you’d recognize those broad shoulders anywhere. Something bubbled under your skin then, and your hands felt clammy around your glass – you were nervous, there was a whole room between you, but he still managed to make you nervous.
Maybe this was a bad idea?
He sat with his body turned, his hand around a beer bottle, as he watched the dancefloor move. Your eyes followed his and found Tommy where he danced, his hand clasping a woman’s, a woman you’d only seen in photos.
Joel’s daughter.
She was beautiful. Clad in a dark lavender satin dress, matching the other bridesmaids. Her dark hair was slicked back and gathered at the nape of her neck, held together by a matching satin bow, perfect curls spilled across her back. Her smile was even prettier as she laughed and sang with her uncle, swinging to ‘Build Me up Buttercup’. It was the same smile you could see across Joel’s face as he watched them. 
The drink burned slightly from the acidity at the back of your throat, and you were grateful that he’d been heavy on the liquor. You needed to catch up, let the alcohol loosen you up, pull away your unexpected nerves. 
“Who’s that?” you heard behind you. A warmth coated your neck and cheeks at being caught staring, and the embarrassment mixed with anger.
“I don’t think that’s any of your fucking business,” you scoffed. 
The bartender huffed out a dry laugh, “Jesus, it’s wedding small talk, no need to bite my head off.”
“Well, I’d prefer it if you didn’t talk,” you told him, sending him an annoyed look over your shoulder.
When you turned back around, Joel’s seat was empty, the beer bottle he’d nursed left behind on the table, the only sign he’d ever been seated there in the first place. Your tongue found the straw of your drink, twirling it around while you sipped, eyes scanning the dancefloor.
Nothing.
Did he slip out? Out to catch some fresh air or go to the bathroom? Maybe you could find the restroom, hover outside the door and ‘accidently’ bump into him?
No.
You cringed. Did you even hear yourself? As you took another sip, trying and failing to come up with a plan, a familiar gruff voice heaved a heavy sigh behind you.
“You got to be fuckin’ kiddin’ me.” 
He didn’t look angry, but the way his hand rubbed over his face was worse, he was disappointed to see you. 
“What the fuck you doin’ here?”
“Celebrating Tommy, and–” you squinted your eyes, looking at the name scrawled elegantly next to Tommy’s on the bar menu, “–Maria... aren’t you?” 
You gave Joel an easy smile, and stepped closer, crossing one foot nonchalantly over the other. There was no way in hell you’d give him the satisfaction of seeing you even a bit phased he’d caught you crashing his brother’s wedding. 
A huff escaped Joel at your lie before the corners of his mouth pulled ever so slightly in a dry, sarcastic smile. 
“That’s cute,” he told you, his voice devoid of any humor in it, tone entirely disbelieving. 
“I’ve been known to be described as such,” you grinned. 
Joel didn’t seem to like your joke, his face not moving an inch. “You know this is way out of line, right?” 
“What?” you snorted, taking a sip of your drink as your eyes fanned out over the room for a second, before landing back on Joel, “Aren’t you happy to see me?” 
Joel let out an almost incredulous scoff, shaking his head as his eyes quickly scanned across the room, going to Tommy still on the dancefloor with Sarah. Something seemed to flash over his eyes, or maybe it was the lights but he leaned forward then, fingers wrapping around your forearm in a firm grip. 
“Way to make it obvious,” you said under your breath as he pulled you a bit. Not letting him have it, you planted your feet, “What the hell are you doing?” 
“Don’t be a fuckin’ brat,” he told you, his voice filled with annoyance. 
Something ignited in you then, and you knew you had him right where you wanted him. Unable to contain your smile as the words crossed his lips, you felt them settle in your core, drip down your thighs like sticky honey. 
“You’d know just what do about that, wouldn’t you?” you challenged, your eyes burning into his, and for a second, you had his attention. He held your gaze, and his eyes flickered with the same intensity you felt.
A beat passed between you, and you watched as his jaw tightened, waiting for the bomb to tick down to zero. 
Then it popped.
The guests cheered as a song faded into another, and Joel took a step closer to you. His hand released your forearm to slip around your waist as his eyes never left yours. 
“Come,” he spoke through his teeth, his voice low and quiet.
The feel of his hand so close to your skin sent your brain into a temporary reboot. You’d craved it all week, missed him so close to you, missed his scent on your skin, and you let yourself be steered away. 
Quickly, Joel led you out the barn doors, his hand firmly pressed against your lower back as he looked over his shoulder. The music faded as he guided you towards a handful of small, scattered cabins hidden away behind a grove of trees. The trail snaked its way from tree to tree, your heels digging into the gravel making it hard to keep up with Joel’s pace. He walked with haste, passing cabin after cabin until the hand on your lower back looped around your waist, turning you around to face him as he came to a stop outside the last cabin.
His eyes drilled into your own, giving you a wild look, “I want you to leave,” he said, voice stern.
Leaning into his touch, you tilted your head to the side and let your eyes roll over him. He’d combed his hair back, wavy curls held back by gel. You raised your hand to cup his cheek, letting your thumb run through his trimmed scruff, hints of salt and pepper shone under the rising moonlight. The full of his lips was pressed together in a tight line, your eyes trailing your thumb as you let it gently run over his lips. Something softened in him under your touch, his eyes brown and deep as they watched you, it made your heart pick up its beat, hammering out of your chest.
Leaning closer, your eyes flickered to his lips again, and you thought about how you didn’t know what he tasted like, didn’t know how his lips felt against your own. You were so close now; his breath came out in small puffs against your face. Slowly you tilted your head, your nose accidentally brushing up against the crook of his own.
“You owe me a fucking orgasm,” you whispered.
His hand around your waist tightened, and with a small huff he tilted his head back.
“I owe you nothin’, princess.”
God, he could be stubborn sometimes. 
It might’ve annoyed you if it didn’t turn you on as much as it did. You loved how he made you work for it, and he was worth doing the work. Something deep down inside you knew it. Joel was a good man. If you weren’t careful he’d remove the walls built up by that lonely girl you’d kept hidden inside; one emotional stone at a time. Maybe it was ironic? The man who’d devoted his life to building walls, now breaking them down?
“Why do you deny yourself something you want?”
“You...” Joel swallowed hard, dark eyes watching your face with an unreadable expression, “You're a piece of work, you know that?”
The words stung more than you’d like to admit, and when Joel’s hand slipped from your body as he stepped away, a wave of anxiety washed over you. 
Had you gone too far? 
Joel didn’t look happy, and a small knot started to tie itself in your stomach under his gaze. You watched as he unbuttoned the top button of his tuxedo jacket, making it fall open and showing you his perfectly pressed shirt underneath. His right hand dug into his inner pocket, fishing out a white key card.
His steps were heavy up the front stairs to the cabin, almost dragging, like he moved through molasses. The lock clicked as he held the key card against it, a green light blinking before he opened the door. 
Dumbfounded, you stood at the foot of the front steps. You’d riled him up, played your little game and he’d gone along with it like always. 
Was this how it was gonna end?
He stood in the opening, hand on the handle with one foot on either side –  halfway in, but also halfway out. He didn’t move, his head tipped forward, weighing his options. Then he sighed and pushed the door open, and stepped inside the darkness.
“C‘mon, get in before anyone sees you.” 
The cabin was quaint, but cozy, with only the necessities. It was more like a hut, not bigger than a hotel room. A narrow hallway opened up to the bedroom, with a door to the right leading to a bathroom. Joel had placed his overnight bag on the chair in the corner, a worn leather duffle bag with a dark t-shirt and pair of jeans thrown over it, clearly thrown in a hurry to get ready. White lace curtains hung over the windows, bright against the dark wood of the paneled walls. 
The clinking of Joel’s belt pulled you from the silence, your head twitched like a reflex turning towards him. He’d shed his tuxedo jacket, his broad shoulders fighting against his pristine white shirt. He walked towards you slowly as he removed his cufflinks; the warmth in his eyes had turned darker. Taking a step backwards the back of your thighs pressed into the chair, almost tipping you over, but he caught you, one arm tight around your wrist while the other threw the cufflinks on the pile of clothes behind you.
“You say ‘red’ ‘nd we stop,” he told you, eyes holding your gaze so intently you didn’t dare look away. An inaudible breath pressed past your lips when his other hand cupped your cheek, the touch reminding you to nod your head.
“Or I pinch you,” you said.
A pleased smile spread across his face, “Good.” He punctuated his approval with a light pat to your cheek. 
Stepping away, he nodded towards the bed, an unspoken order, while his hands found his tie around his neck where he tugged at the knot. You sat at the foot of the bed, knees pressed together, waiting for him to make the first move. The white sheets smelled strongly of detergent, nothing like the faded hints of his cologne mixed with sawdust you’d smelled on his own sheets that first night he’d fucked you. 
The tie slipped from his neck and you fell back on your arms, feigning boredom while you let out an audible sigh. It made him laugh.
“What’s so funny?” you queried, your brows pulled together in a frown. 
A smile leftover from his chuckle coated his lips as he stepped closer, your legs spreading for him to slot between as he threw the tie on the bed beside you.
“Nothin’.” 
Over you, he gently rolled up his sleeves with practiced hands before he wrapped a hand tightly around your upper arm. Then he tugged. 
“Hey!” you said, fighting against his grip as he manhandled you. He turned you roughly, his other hand fingering the zipper of your dress, while the other held you in place. “Be careful with the dress,” you whined.
“Stop actin’ like a fuckin’ child,” he muttered, helping you out of your dress.
“A child? Well… that doesn’t bode well for you with what you’re about to do.”
That stopped him in his tracks, eyes burning as he let go of you. “Jesus Christ,” he hissed, throwing your dress over his pile of clothes, “you’re fuckin’ unbelievable.”
Freed from his grip, a smirk pulled at your lips as you shuffled up the bed. Leaning back on your elbows, you seductively parted your legs for him, showing him the darkened patch of fabric scarcely covering your cunt.
“You keep saying that,” you smiled, saccharine and sticky like syrup. 
“I’ll stop when you finally start behavin’.” Joel’s hand wrapped around your ankle, tugging you towards him with a hard jerk, making a giggly squeal escape you. 
“Never– HEY!”
A ripping sound tore through the room, your skimpy panties tattered in his large hands. A smirk spread over his face. The motherfucker looked mighty pleased with himself.
“Surprised you’re even wearin’ these,” he said, thumbing at the wet patch of arousal, before he tossed them to the floor. “A slut like you should’ve gone without, shouldn't you?” 
The warmth of his touch over your knees had you twitching for him, goosebumps following his hands as they rubbed gently up and down your legs. His eyes never left your face though, watching every reaction you gave up. 
“I…” your rebuttal trailed off when he fell to his knees, slotting between your own and spreading you open for him, one hand glided down the outside of your thigh to your ass, while the other found your aching clit.
Then he spat. A thick blob of saliva ran from the top of your mound down your clit, where it combined with your arousal shining through your glistening folds.
“Joel!?” you gasped when the rough pad made contact, pressing down with just the right amount of pressure, spreading his spit around in small circles. 
You kinda hated this part; getting eaten out. No partner had gotten it right before. Not that it wasn’t enjoyable, it could be, but never seeing stars good… And you couldn’t help but think about that first time someone had gone down on you, about the boytoy you’d had wrapped around your finger freshman year. He’d given you an orgasm maybe 60% of the time he’d fucked you (which was a better successrate than your later hook-ups), but his comment as he’d gotten on his knees for you for the first time still rang loudly in your head.
It’s not supposed to look like that, is it? 
The small laugh he’d let out had only made it worse, and you’d dumped him less than twenty-four hours later. Now, you hated having a man this close to your pussy.
Your hand found Joel’s shoulder, where it pushed. “I don’t…” you interrupted yourself with a hand over your face, not wanting to look at him.
“What, baby?” 
Suddenly he was there, hovering above you, caging you in with his body, heavy hand pushing at your own over your face. 
“Ain’t in the mood for the orgasm I owe ya, is that it?” he smirked, and you stayed obstinately silent for a second.
“What is it, hm?” he asks you, “Not gonna let me taste that pretty pussy?” 
Pretty…
“Joel…” 
Your eyes searched his face, looking to find where he’d hidden his lie. His face grew sterner, eyebrows pulling together in a furrow. 
“Tell me.”
Your front tooth caught on your lip and a heat prickled up your neck. You couldn’t tell him, you just couldn’t. Joel’s palm found your cheek, heavy and safe against your skin, letting his thumb sooth you and your eyelids fluttered from his touch. A breath got caught in your throat when he leaned forward, placing a soft kiss to the column of your neck, your pulse vibrating under his lips.
“Do I have to wring it outta you?” he whispered against your skin, his hand gliding from your cheek to fit around your neck. The air between you changed and you forced yourself to snap back into your disguise. 
“I’d like to see you try.”
A deep rumbling laugh vibrated against your skin and Joel found your eyes again. His hand around your neck soothed over your skin and you found yourself pushing up into his hand, daring him to tighten his grip.
“There she is… my brat,” he smiled.
Mine.
He was gone before the possessive word could settle, hovering over your body as he rid himself of his shirt. You couldn’t help but drink him in, he was so handsome, broad and strong with speckled grey hairs trailing to the heavy bulge hidden away behind the soft fabric of his dress pants. His undone belt clicked as he moved closer, climbing onto the bed between your legs.
“Scoot up,” Joel ordered with a tap to the outer skin of your thigh. 
The huff you let out was exasperated, earning you a stern look as his large palms found the cheeks of your ass, patting your skin lightly, before he helped you move. The way he fluffed the pillows behind your back was almost tender, and your eyebrows pulled together in the slightest frown. 
“Is your definition of ‘wringin’ it outta me’–” you mocked his drawl, “–fucking like a boring old married couple in missionary? Is that what you used to do with your wife?”
The way Joel’s eyes hardened made a smile break over your face. Quickly, you regretted the smile when his hand clasped around your wrist, bending it backwards towards the bed post.
“Hey! What are you doing?” you demanded, playfully fighting against his grip, but Joel was too strong.
“Behave.”
“But I hate that,” you exclaimed with a sigh, pushing your head back into the pillow.
His silk tie tickled against the thin skin under your wrist, and you had to turn your head to watch him as he tied your hand to the bed. The way he did it exuded no nonsense; his eyebrows were tied together in concentration as practiced fingers danced over the knots, testing them with a light tug.
“I’m givin’ you what you ain’t closed to earned– so you oughta be grateful, princess, ‘nd thank me,” he told you as he moved on to your other hand.
Joel raised an eyebrow at you when he grabbed a hold of it, daring you to put up a fight again. 
“Thank you, Daddy.” 
The way you said it was sugary sweet, and you knew he didn’t believe a word you said, but a pleased smile settled over his lips either way. Then his fingers found his belt, tugging it from his waist all in one go, his muscles moved under his skin from the strain. The leather felt harsher around your skin than his tie, but Joel made sure to not tie it to tightly. When he was pleased with you, he found his spot between your legs again. 
His rough hands teased over your naked skin, eyes fixed on the way it gave way for him when he squeezed ever so slightly. You couldn’t help but watch him – there was nothing you could do now, your hands literally tied. 
“I oughta tie these too I reckon,” he mused, pushing your legs wider, “but I’m outta rope,” he chuckled, way too pleased with his own joke.
“Ha-ha-ha,” you said, voice dry with an unimpressed look on your face. 
Lowering himself, he placed playful lovebites to the soft skin of the inside of your thigh. The lower he got, the closer he got, you felt yourself brace for impact as your eyes found the ceiling. 
You felt his hot breath first, gentle huffs against your spit-soaked clit. How soft his kiss was, you didn’t expect– didn’t expect the fluttering touch of his lips down your pussy, so gentle against the core of you. A stuttering breath caught in your throat, and quickly you melted against the pillows. 
“Hey,” Joel caught your attention. He had that look in his eyes, something dark and filled with lust as he let the scratch of his rough beard rub against the thin skin of your inner thigh. “Look at me, only me, you hear?” 
He underlined his order with a soothing kiss to the sensitive skin, pulling a nod from you. Pleased, his lips skated downwards, teeth nipping playfully at the skin, leaving small bursts of electricity in the wake of his touch. 
“Such a pretty pussy, baby– all wet ‘nd messy f’me.” Joel spoke with a deep bass, as two fingers found your seam, swiping them through your folds. “Listen,” he told you, as the slick sound of your arousal filled the cabin. 
The beat in your chest seemed louder and louder in your ears the more he taunted you. You didn’t want to do this with Joel – fake it – feel that stone of disappointment sink into the depths of yourself as the orgasm you so desperately wanted fizzled away into nothing. Couldn’t he just rub your clit a little? Finger you instead? 
With his fingers Joel spread you apart and a heat travelled up your neck. You felt so exposed, and you had to fight not to look away from him when he leaned forward with the flat of his tongue, tasting you. A breath caught in your throat like a reflex, and a low hum rumbled out of Joel’s chest, almost in… contentment. Your eyebrows met in a furrow then.
He couldn’t seriously like this? 
He continued to lap at your folds, taking his time, and it felt… good, really good. When he licked a stripe from your hole to your clit, you couldn’t fight back your moan. 
“C’mon, let me hear you, princess,” he said, his tone of voice way too cocky.
He latched on to your clit, sucking and flicking his tongue in a way no man had ever done before. It was intense, sloppy, almost primal. Small, breathy sighs built in your chest, and you wished you could touch him, hold on to him.
Joel licked down through your folds again; his tongue teasing at your hole. “Is–” you cut yourself off with a surprised gasp, reeling from the way his tongue pushed into you. “Is t-this what you call e-eating pussy?” you tried again to taunt, far from convincing. 
Joel didn’t bother with a reply. Instead, he switched his tongue with his fingers. The wet mix of your arousal and saliva made the slide easy. A breathy whimper escaped your lips when he curled them, hitting the spongy spot inside you and hurling you quickly towards your release.
“Fuck,” you sighed, bucking your hips against his lips closing around your clit again.
You couldn’t stay still, your hips moving erratically to meet the swipes and zigzags of his tongue. Never had it felt like this, this good, this perfect. His fingers moved easily in and out, in and out, with a slick squelch. Squeezing your eyes shut, Joel coaxed you closer and closer to your orgasm. The pads of his fingers hit you just right, massaging with every thrust. An increasing pressure swiweled in your stomach around the laps of his tongue around your clit. Your back moved on it’s own, arching off the bed as his makeshift restraints tightened with your movement. A hand found your ass then, holding you flush to his face and you felt yourself starting to wither.
“There she goes… my good girl,” he hummed against you, “Come all over my tongue, princess.”
You let the wave of pleasure wash over you with a broken scream. You didn’t have to fake a thing as your whole body shook with your orgasm. His fingers continued their pace, pushing through your spasming walls and prolonging your ecstasy. Every sigh and whimpering moan was real, and you lost yourself in the buzzing feeling of Joel taking you apart and putting you back together again. 
When the aftershocks fizzled out Joel pulled his fingers, slicked up and soaked from your cunt. A cocky grin coated his face as he brought his fingers to his mouth, licking your cum off his fingers. When your eyes found his, something in them had you slipping under, a want so strong to drown in them. 
He climbed off the bed, your blissed out gaze rolling over him as he removed his dress pants and underwear. You could feel yourself go doe eyed when he took his hard cock in hand, giving it a few practiced tugs as he studied you at his mercy, spread apart and dripping with a mix of your pearly arousal, his spit and your cum. 
He was perfect; his broad chest, tanned under the Texan sun with speckled hairs trailing down his torso where it ended in a dark wiry patch at the base of his impressive cock. Your mouth dropped open in the smallest of o’s – you wanted to taste him again, feel your spit mixed with his precum on your tongue, the thick head of his cock knock at the back of your throat. 
“Daddy…” you pleaded, putting on your best puppy dog eyes.
“What, princess?” he taunted, voice laced with fake pity as he climbed on the bed again. Letting go of his thick cock, he wrapped his hands under your armpits and hiked you upright against the pillows. Under him you couldn’t help but soften at the edges.
“What d’you want, huh? What does my slut want?” he continued, straddling your body, two strong thighs on either side of your torso. He was so close like this, veiny cock inches from your waiting mouth. Reluctantly, you tore your gaze away to find his eyes, focusing hard on finding your words as you could see him start to stroke himself again in your peripheral. The large head of his cock grazed your lips with every stroke, pearling a salty taste of precum for you to taste.
“Why do you ask, when you already know?” you said, your voice lacking your infamous bite. A smile tore at Joel’s face, and a rumbling laugh escaped him as he moved closer. 
“Maybe my cock pluggin’ up that throat will make you behave f’me?” he mused, like he was speaking his inner thoughts out loud and you weren’t even there. “At least  you’d be quiet for once.”
His other hand found your chin, then, robbing you of your answer as he squeezed at the flesh, forcing your mouth to pop open. “Kiss it for Daddy, princess,” he ordered, slapping his cock on your waiting tongue. 
When he let go of your face, you wrapped your plush lips around his thick head, suckling wet kisses to the tip. A lewd moan escaped you at the familiar taste of him, his musk filling your nostrils. It was addicting, Joel was addicting, and you needed more.
The desperate whine you let out, earned you a reprimanding slap to your cheek. “Don’t get greedy now, ‘m gonna give ya what you want,” he told you and pulled back, while the sting prickled away. You couldn’t help the pout forming, and Joel was quick to sooth it away with his thumb tracing over your lips. 
“Listen, baby,” he found your eyes, “You kick me, alright? You kick me ‘f you wanna stop.”
“Okay,” you sighed.
“Okay, what?” he demanded with a slap of his cock against your cheek, smearing glistening precum over your skin.
“Okay, Daddy,” you smiled and dropped your mouth open so he could feed you his cock – all the way this time.
“That’s it, my good girl.”
Eagerly, your plush lips wrapped around his cock, his heavy cock plugged up your throat as he made room for himself. You didn’t gag right away like last time, you had practice now. As he pushed himself deeper, his hand braced himself against the headboard, while the other cradled your head – his rough thumb skated gently over your skin as he gently rocked his hips.
“Fuck,” he moaned above you, “That’s it, slut, let me feel your throat open f’me.”
Closing your eyes, you tried to calm yourself, holding back your gag reflex as tears started to prickle at your eyes. Even with practice, Joel wasn’t easy to take. Your lips stretched wide around the girth of him, swollen and used as spit slicked up his pubes. With each rock of his hips you felt the bulbous head knock at the back of your throat, bruising your flesh.
The sight of you must’ve been pornographic; your throat bulging with every rock of his hips as your spit dripped down your chest, pooling at his thighs stretched over your chest.
A vicious gag choked you, and Joel pulled back quickly, his cock wet with your spit bopping heavily in front of you face. You spluttered between gasps of air, spit bubbling at the corners of your mouth as tears ran in a steady stream, smudging your make-up. His hand cradling your head tightened slightly, tilting you to catch his eyes as something close to worry flashed over his face.
“Don’t close your eyes, you hear me?” his voice was strict, “‘nd I need ya to kick me!”
“Keep going!” 
Your voice was hoarse and wet, but it didn’t seem to convince Joel. His face gave nothing away, stern and hard, teeth biting down a scowl – but his hands were tender, stroking at your skin.
“Ain’t ever been with a woman who’s as much of a slut as you I reckon,” he mused, his hand leaving your face to grip himself, tapping the length of himself against your skin.
“Embarrassing way to admit you haven’t been with a lot of women, Joel,” you told him, hiding your smile behind a soft kiss to the wet head of his cock. 
“Jesus Christ.” A laugh escaped him, surprisingly light for someone out to punish you. 
Moving your head, you started to press light kisses down his shaft, waiting for Joel to take control again, to punish you – like you ‘deserved,’ but all he did was a whole lot of nothing. When your tongue finally reached the base of him, your cheek pressed into the crease between his thigh and hip as your lips brushed gently against the soft skin of his balls – so heavy and full. Wrapping his hand around himself, he stroked in languid motions, like he savored it, wanted to memorize every calculated jerk.
“‘s that what you want, huh?” he asked, voice low and dark, almost tainting, and you couldn’t hold back the mewl escaping you. “Go on then, princess, suck on my balls like a good whore.”
With his other hand he guided one of his balls to your mouth. When you wrapped your lips around him, suckling gently at the sensitive skin, a deep groan fell from Joel’s lips.
“That’s good, princess, that’s so fuckin’ good.”
Being so close, breathing in the masculine musk of him, you almost squirmed under his weight, your cunt desperate and dripping with arousal. You felt so dirty, sucking on the balls of a man more than twice your age as he had his way with you. It would never feel like this again with anyone else – you knew it, you didn’t know how, but you did. 
“C’mon, give the other one some sugar too.”
Humming out in an agreement, you let go with a pop as he guided the other ball into your waiting mouth for you to suckle around. The rhythm of his strokes picked up when you flattened your tongue, licking at the seam.
“God,” he groaned, “such a fuckin’ slut f’me– so fuckin’ desperate for my balls in your mouth–” 
Joel cut himself off with a deep groan, as he backed up, making you chase after him as he held himself at the base, squeezing. Your restraints dug into your wrists, and you whined in defeat. 
This bondage act was starting to get old.
“Gonna come already, old man?” 
Joel didn’t seem to like your attitude, his joints cracking as he climbed back onto the bed, the welcomed weight of him now gone. 
“That’s rich,” he spat, “coming from the one showin’ up here all desperate for me to fuck her.”
“Well, I’m waiting,” you told him with a roll of your eyes, voice bored. 
That seemed to finally inspire some action in him. With stern eyes, and a stern grip, Joel parted your legs to slot between. The way his hands dug into your skin hurt, angry finger-shaped welts as he manuveroured you, had you wishing for the dizzying pain of a bruise tomorrow to remind you of this, of Joel.
Your hips bucked when you felt the blunt head of his cock against your clit, making him throw a hand over your waist to keep you still. A heat coated your cheeks when you heard it, the slick sound of your wet cunt as he dragged himself up and down your folds, coating himself in your desperation. 
“Missionary?” you bit, fighting hard to hold back your moans as he teased at your dripping opening, “You’re so old fashioned.”
“I like to watch brats break when they finally get a cock in them,” he bit back, “Now beg f’mine.”
“No,” you hiccuped, with a weak shake of your head. 
Joel played dirty – his thumb came up to graze over your clit, as he continued to tease his cock at your opening, pressing in slightly and then pulling out again just as quickly. He had you squirming for him in seconds, desperate to feel him make a home for himself inside you.
“Beg, brat.”
His thumb on your clit pressed down harder in tight, practiced figure eights, and you had no choice but to break. You needed him, needed Joel inside. 
“Please,” you gasped, “Please, fuck me.”
But Joel continued circling his thumb, drawing you closer to the edge again. It got harder and harder to stay still as he pushed at your boundaries. Everything inside you screamed for him, like you were a piece of metal and he was the magnet. You couldn’t stay away, you’d always end up pressed against him. 
“Whose cunt is this?” he demanded, suddenly hovering above you, dark eyes staring into yours. A large palm held your head in place, anchoring you to him, his face, this moment.
“Yours,” you whispered, “Yours, Joel.”
His name left your lips as a sight, the syllables stolen out of the air when he pushed at your opening, heavy cock splitting you in two and seating himself in your heat. He had your legs shaking, head lulling into his palm at the pleasurable pressure poking at the depths of you, where no one but Joel could reach.
“It’s okay, baby– you come on that cock if ya need to,” he hummed, a hint of condescension in his low voice as he continued to rub your clit.
Everything was coming to a head. Pleasure beamed through your body, like a supernova, as you exploded for Joel, shaking under his body as your eyes rolled back in your head. Whimpering moans stole your breaths, and you almost didn’t register Joel’s deep voice rumbling against the collum of your throat.
“C’mon… that’s it… good girl, that’s my good girl– y’feel so good, baby.”
His warm breath felt sticky against your skin, and you found yourself hoping he’d never leave; that you could somehow tattoo how he felt against you on your skin, let him mark you as his. 
When your legs stopped shaking, Joel’s thumb stopped bullying your clit. He let you catch your breath, heaving chest slowing to steady rhythm again. His eyes found yours again, and for a moment they were almost tender, as something real started to weigh between you. You wanted to say something, anything, but Joel pulled away, hooking his arms under your knees before he finally started to pound into you, chasing his own high.
“Fuck,” you gasped, your walls already sensitive from the multiple orgasms he’d already given you. The way he split you open around the girth of him, it was always too much, you couldn’t see how you’d ever get used to the feeling of him. 
Joel's breath got heavier as he picked up his pace, balls slapping wetly against your ass, as deep groans vibrated through his chest.
“That’s it, princess, you take it,” he rambled, “Good girl– go dumb on that cock f’me.”
His hands dug into your skin, his mind so caught up in you, in the way you felt squeezing around him.
Slap, slap, slap.
He was so deep, he must’ve fucked his way into your stomach. You felt yourself go limp in his arms, letting him take what he needed, letting him use you for his own pleasure. 
“God, y’were made f’takin’ my big cock, baby.”
“Gonna fill up this pretty cunt– watch it leak outta ya.”
“Please,” you begged between harsh thrusts, your tits bouncing with every sway of his hips, “Please, come inside me, Daddy.”
With a particularly sharp thrust, his balls pulled tight against your ass, and Joel came. Deep groans of satisfaction filled your ears, the sweetest sound, as he pumped you full. He rutted into you until there was nothing left, your cunt overflowing with his sticky seed. A content sigh left your lips at the feeling, your body finally sated. 
Thoughts traveled to the next moments, how you wanted him to pull you into his chest, strong arms pulled tight around your body as you both calmed down. To be held close in his embrace, a comforting hand at the back of your neck. You wanted him to kiss you, longed to feel his lips brush over yours. You searched for Joel’s eyes, searched for a small inkling of reciprocation.
Maybe you’d say something stupid – finally let go of all the feelings you can’t control anymore.
But Joel’s eyes didn’t want to catch yours, and he pulled away too quickly, sliding his softening cock from your ruined cunt. You were gonna make a mess of his sheets, you probably already had judging from the slick feeling on the inside of your thighs as you closed them. 
Something in the air felt loaded suddenly, and you wanted to reach for him, touch his rough skin and ground yourself away from your nagging insecurities– But you couldn’t, your hands were bound. His strong back muscles moved under his skin as he fished his shirt from the floor, now crinkled, ruined. 
“Wanna go again?” you tried, pushing at his back, barely out of reach, with your foot. 
He let you push at him, but the sigh he let out as he stood to his feet to get dressed had your stomach tie itself in a knot. 
“This ain’t happenin’ again,” he sighed, getting dressed. 
“Sure,” you nodded in a scoff, unconvinced as a mischievous smile tugged at the corner of your mouth. Between your legs you felt yourself start to leak, his thick spend running down your folds to your ass, and onto the sheets.
When he finally turned around, large fingers fiddling with the small buttons of his shirt, his eyes finally caught yours. Biting down on your lip, you spread your legs coquettishly, showing him where he’d claimed you. 
His eyes, however, never wandered, the familiar warmth that you had seen barely a few minutes ago now gone, his expression stoic and unreadable. You felt the knot in your stomach from earlier tighten.
“I’m serious,” he told you, and almost on instinct you felt your legs close as he leaned over you, untying one of your hands, “You ever pull something like this again, and it’ll be the last time you ever see me.” 
You felt your face drop despite yourself as he untied the other hand, the corners of your mouth straightening out as a small frown appeared between your brows. You were silent for a moment as Joel walked to the other end of the room, plucking his jacket up off of the chair. Your eyes tracked his movements apprehensively. 
“I thought you liked it when I behaved this way,” you said eventually, and you hated the way your tone sounded. You had meant for it to be a challenge, a call-out of his hypocrisy, but instead you sounded like a child; disappointed and petulant. 
“Listen,” he started, voice calm but with a seriousness that made a nervousness tug at the back of your neck. “You’ve had your fun, and I can tolerate a lotta shit, but–... you gotta learn some fuckin’ boundaries.” Your frown only deepened at his words. 
“Comin’ here–” his voice stalled as he shook his head, shrugging on the jacket “This is my family, my brother’s wedding– my fuckin’ daughter is here… You can’t just show up in my life like some kind of trainwreck every time you need me to fuck you.” 
“How else am I supposed to do it? You don’t exactly text,” you bit back, “And don’t pretend like you don’t like it,” you fumbled for a retort. 
“That’s just a shitty excuse for unacceptable behaviour, and you know it,” Joel said, and you felt yourself get angry at how calm he was. 
It was embarrassing; your cheeks burned bright like a flame, and it fueled a deep pit of annoyance inside of you, one you didn’t even know existed as your jaw bit down in a clench. Lifting your chin in a defiant scoff, you’re not proud of the next words out of your mouth.
“You’re full of shit,” you said with a shake of your head, “You’ll barely last a week and you know it... you love it, love putting me in my place like this.”
“Sure I do,” Joel said with a nonchalant shrug, “But I sure as shit didn't sign up to deal with your antics... that’s a job for your real Daddy, sweetheart.”   
That last comment felt like a slap in the face. A job for your real Daddy. In your chest you felt something cave in, as a paralyzing shock swept over your body. You went cold, so cold as your eyes drifted past Joel, and swiveled into the wood walls. He was right, Joel was right, but you never imagined he’d slap you in the face like this with the truth. 
“So, listen up now, this is what you’re gonna do,” Joel said as he stepped towards you, looking you straight in the eye, ”You're gonna take your shit, ‘nd your shitty attitude, ‘nd you're gonna quietly slip outta here ‘nd pretend like you were never even fuckin’ here in the first place. ‘s that clear?” 
You were barely able to nod before he stepped back and turned his back on you. When his hand found the doorknob, he threw you one last look. 
“You better not be here when I get back.”
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part four -> here!
hopefully this was okay? please let me know what you thought of the new part! a comment telling me your favorite part is always welcome, and my ask box is always open to chat <3 and thank you for reading!!
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© shellshocklove, 2024 i do not give any permission to repost, translate, feed to AI or redistribute any of my writing, with or without credit!
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382 notes · View notes
cringevalue · 7 months
Text
steve harrington works at dairy queen and eddie has never been to a dairy queen in his life. when he walks in, steve is the one to take his order.
“are you the dairy queen?” eddie asks with a smirk.
“no,” steve says bluntly, sticking a thumb out toward robin, “she is.”
eddie pouts. “the dairy king?”
“don’t call me that.”
“how do you make the ice cream with the candies in it?”
“the blizzards?”
“mhm.”
“we put ice cream in a cup, put candy in the cup, put more ice cream in the cup, and blend it up.”
“so it’s not just made like that?”
“nope.”
“you have to make it?”
“that’s my job.”
eddie sighs and stands at the counter silently for a few seconds. “if i do cookie dough… can you put other candies in it too?”
“it’ll cost more, but yes.”
“what are all the candies you have?”
steve proceeds to list off every candy he can remember, and robin slips in a few that he forgets, and eddie orders half of the candies in one small blizzard.
“sir,” steve is being Very Professional, “you wouldn’t be able to get any ice cream in that, it would just be candy.”
“oh. uhhh…. how about… would you be able to do that if it was a bigger size?”
“i guess.”
-
eddie sits in a corner booth while he forces himself to eat a large blizzard with a bunch of random toppings inside. he doesn’t even like pecans, but they’re in there. when he’s done, he goes back up to the counter.
“are you guys hiring?”
“not sure. you’ll have to put in an application, but i can’t promise anyone’ll get back to you.”
steve hands eddie an application and eddie fills it out right there, handing it back to steve.
“i’ll be your dairy queen,” eddie says with a really bad wink before walking out.
-
two weeks later, steve is holding eddie’s hands to show him how to blend a blizzard, and robin is hyperventilating behind them because she got caramel all over her hands.
980 notes · View notes
phasecornnuts · 6 months
Note
Hiiiiiiii! If you’re still open for requests maybe you might wanna write something where the reader casually mentioned that they/she had a partner on earth before they died and Alastor takes it a bit too drastically and has just been very salty and asking too many questions 😭 if you like that
Please & thanks ❤️
Hey guys I've returned! Sorry for taking a little while, I was busy with finals/I wanted to relax on my spring break so I didn't have a lot of time. I lowkey kind of cooked with this one too so enjoy :3
Also, I sorta made the reader be from around the same time period as Alastor (sorta late 1910s early 1930s) for extra spice
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It had become a daily routine for you and Alastor to have afternoon tea together in cannibal town. Always, between the hours and four and six o’ clock after Alastor had finished his broadcast and you, your hotel duties, the both of you would walk down to Rosie’s Emporium to nibble on finger sandwiches, candied eyeballs, and other treats. 
The sun was still high in the sky, sending fingers of light through the windows of the cafe; the building was alive with the chatter of demons and hell-born alike. You and Alastor had just sat down, a short cannibal girl with a heart-shaped face and glowing brown ringlets placing your usuals on the table. Oh how beautiful they were! Too pretty to eat, garnished with tiny sprigs of mint (or, at least, it may have been mint) and resting on plates of delicate porcelain. With polished silver beside them, and matching teacups and saucers too, it all looked like a party for a girl’s favorite doll.
That is, if it weren’t human meat. 
Looking up from your plate, you saw Alastor turn his head to follow the cannibal girl making you frown. His gaze returned to you before he caught you staring, a chipper grin on his face as always.
“She could be a dead ringer for Mary Pickford, don’t you think?”
Your eyebrows perked. You hadn’t looked long at the girl admittedly, though you stared long enough to know that she was no Pickford. You pursed your lips,
“I don’t see it, Lillian Gish maybe.”
He looked at you like a mad-woman, “You don’t!?”
“No! Her eyes are much too large!”
Alastor chuffed, proceeding to rest his chin on his dark hand, “In the eye of the beholder I suppose.” 
You rolled your eyes, “You only say that because of her curls,” you stated while picking up the teapot and pouring yourself and Alastor your cups, “Now, drink before it gets cold.”
For much of your lunch neither of you spoke, merely enjoying each other’s presence while pecking on some food here and there. Throughout the meal the waitress brought more plates, pancreas tarts, minced tongues coated with cinnamon sugar, and sweet pies filled with rotted venison and cooked kidneys, all Rosie’s treat. Alastor had been taken by the small pies in their mulled deliciousness, the meat so tender you saw his eyes water. He pleaded you to try one, though you couldn’t, your stomach filled to the brim from the other treats and delicacies. 
Alastor picked up the small pair of silver tongs from beside him and placed two sugar cubes in his tea, “I do say, it’s nice to have a meal companion again.” He took a sip from his teacup and grinned. 
You nodded in agreement, lifting the milk jug from the table and pouring a generous amount into your cup. “Likewise. Good dinner conversation is a horrid thing to lose.”
“Truly.” He took another drink. “Before you, I hadn’t had a proper luncheon since my mother.”
“From what you tell she sounded like a fine woman.” His grin lost its eeriness, becoming fond instead. 
“She truly was, and such a fine cook too.” Alastor gazed at the fine pattern painted on the rim of his saucer, “her jambalaya was the best, our side of the Mississippi” he chuckled. He began to remember then, “And her gumbo and her crawfish etouffee and her pecan pralines”
It was odd to hear his voice so full of affection, but nice too. So strange, to think a man who broadcasted his murders of other overlords and feasted on their flesh was once a little boy who clung to his mothers skirt and happily ate her cooking. 
“Maybe one day you’ll cook for me then?” you teased
“Oh why wouldn’t I for my favoritest of sinners?” He took your hand.
You leaned in towards him, a silent flirtation. “Or perhaps I could prepare something for you?”
He looked at you from his dark, hooded eyes, a certain intrigue radiating from them. “Would you now?” he said, leaning in closer. 
“Oh I would, anything you’d like.” the tip of your oxford lingering at his ankle. “My food was good enough for my darling back on earth, why would an overlord of hell have any complaints? Other than not enough seasoning I suppose.” 
That was when the laughter in his eyes died. Alastor bit the inside of his cheek before finding the words to speak, “Your darling?”
 “Pardon?”
“You had someone,” He straightened up, pulling himself away from you, “back on earth?”
“I hardly see how it matters now.” 
Alastor’s tone grew curt, had such a simple word bruised his ego? 
He crossed his arms, “What were they like?” each word as sharp as his teeth.
You pulled your hands close to you, confused at his curtness, “They were….they were nice. Cordial, spirited, vivacious, however you would put it. If you’re-” Alastor cut you off. 
“How did you meet them?”
“On the trolley.” That only served to make him scoff.
“Tch, how common. The trolley.”
You chewed your bottom lip, trying to deny the anger towards him that began to knot in your belly. “It was a different lifetime.” You asserted, a hard finality to it. Pushing yourself from the small table you smoothed your skirt and adjusted the ribbon that was tied so nicely in your hair. 
Without looking at him you said, “Tell Rosie I’m grateful for her hospitality and I will try to find a way to repay her. Also that I’m sorry that I had to retire without saying hello but I feel rather…faint.” Before leaving completely you said, “See you back at the hotel.”
The rest of the day you hid in your room, sulking and pacing. Charlie had tried to coax you out, seeing how angry you’d been when you came back, but you denied every effort she had. 
“It’s not good to stay cooped up in there,” the Princess pleaded.
“I like my alone time.”
 “But- but I had games planned! Husk was going to show us how to play Blackjack and Dominoes!”
“I prefer bridge, and he’ll just cheat us anyways.”
She gave a disappointed sigh, and outside the door you could hear Vaggie talking to her, telling Charlie to give you your space. 
For three nights straight you avoided Alastor, finishing up your hotel duties quickly before hiding in your room. You grew bored after the first day admittedly, a person could only sleep and bathe and read so much. The fourth night is when he knocked on your door while you lied draped on your couch, your nose in a book you’d already finished before. Thinking it was Charlie, you ignored it, sure she’d get the message. It insisted however, rapping harder the second time. You sighed, annoyed. “Who is it?”
“Alastor, may I come in?”
A sour taste came in your mouth, “No.”
“You cannot lock yourself away from me forever.” 
You lifted yourself off the couch, full of bitterness, “I can and I will!”
An electric hum filled your ears, the sound of Alastor weighing his words, “Could you at least entertain my attempt?”
Walking to the door and opening it slightly you saw his face, those deep, hooded eyes dark as blood, cracked lips, and hollow cheekbones. All of those beautiful, haunting features draped in remorse. You sighed, cursing the affection you had for him. 
“Fine, but I’m still cross with you.” That made him smile, if only a tad. 
Opening the door fully, you saw he’d brought one of the dining carts from the unused kitchen clad in a clean white sheet. Alastor pushed it to the center of the room before spiritedly ripping the cover from the cart, presenting polished silver dishes of raw meat and organs. From the bottom shelf of it, he had pulled a fine bottle of wine and two shining glasses.
“I helped myself to a bottle of Husk’s finest, the patrons here don’t have as refined tastes as you and I.” He gave a small grin. So this is what he brought with him, a peace offering. Your stomach was empty from only eating a small meal earlier in the day, so perhaps it was not in vain, though you weren’t sure if you were ready to forgive him. 
“I’ll help you set the table,” you offered, feeling guilty he put so much effort into pleasing you. 
Alastor held his hands up, “No need darling.” He put his hand on his throat, “What I said the other day was very…” he coughed into his hand, “ungentlemanly of me, and I wanted to make it up to you.” 
You folded your hands and held them to your chest, looking at the embarrassment he tried to hide. Closing your eyes, you took a deep breath, and raised your gaze to his. “Thank you, Alastor.” His grin widened as he sat down beside you. 
He uncorked the bottle of wine, beginning to pour it into the glasses, “Of course.” He handed you the glass which you took gladly. The vintage was so dark it looked black, reflecting the lights that glowed from the ceiling. Swishing it, you could see the hidden shades of red that the wine hid.
“Demon’s blood, Husk calls it.” Alastor told you before he took a long sip. 
“Fitting. Do you know how long he’s aged it?” Alastor shrugged, taking another swallow. 
“I didn’t care to ask, but it tastes so good going down. Come, drink, I didn’t bring this up so I could get drunk by myself.” That made you giggle, how much he valued the both of you eating and drinking together. 
Taking his lead, you titled your head back, savoring the warm burn of the wine going down. Its hot fingers lingered in your chest before fading, like drinking cold medicine. In three large gulps you finished your glass, noticing the way Alastor’s eyes watched your throat as you drank. After finishing your second glass you began to dig into the food he’d brought, pancreas tarts, cooked kidneys and…oh good god! On the largest plate was a raw heart, fresh and bloody. 
“Where did you get this? You shouldn’t have!” Your eyes went wide and your mouth began to salivate. A raw heart! Oh and it was human too! Such a fine delicacy must have taken so much begging from Alastor!
“Rosie owed me a favor. And I owe it to you, for making such a jackass of myself.” 
You took another sip of your wine, feeling your face begin to flush. You helped yourself to a tart while Alastor poured himself another glass. As you ate you felt his eyes on you again, focusing on the way your teeth bit into the pastry, your swan’s neck showing your swallow, and how your tongue dragged across your lips. Feeling bold, you placed your feet in his lap and wiped the corner of your mouth with your finger, licking the tip of it with your tongue. He swallowed, hard, his eyes growing wide. 
“Are you looking at something?” Your voice a heavy seduction.
“Possibly.” He drank again. Leaning back on the arm of the couch, he placed his glass on the floor. The tips of his fingers grazed your legs, “Though I do have another question for you, if I may.”
A sultry smirk grew on your face, “That depends on what it is, Al.” God, you could see the glint in his eyes then.
Alastor looked up at you from his hooded eyes, “I’ve been wondering…about your “darling.” You arched an eyebrow; your interest piqued. “Did they ever have…you?” His breath shuddered. 
“Have me, how?” You teased.
“Oh humor me my dear,” He purred
You smirked and shifted your legs in his lap. “Hmm, maybe once or twice…” You sit up from your recline and crawl onto his lap.
“What sorts of things did they do to you?” 
Running your fingers down his chest you savored the way he squirmed and shifted, “All sorts of unholy things” 
Alastor choked on his breath, his eyes transfixed on your face. Slowly, he caught it, regaining a certain boldness afterwards. His hand found the top of your stocking, fingering the nylon taut to your thighs. “Getting rather comfortable aren’t we my dear?”
The smirk you had deepened and you pulled in closer, feeling the heat of his breath tickle your cheeks. You looked into his eyes, “I could get much more comfortable if you like, Al.” For what seemed like ages you lingered, until you felt you had tortured the man enough. Slowly, you leaned in, seemingly ready to kiss his shiny red lips. Grinning, you pulled a piece of dry skin from his bottom lip between your teeth, peeling it to show the bleeding flesh beneath. 
You sat back on his lap and spat out the skin. Looking at him, you saw that hunger in his eyes again. That fine line of decorum the two of you had with one another, ignoring the lingering gazes and longing touches, all thrown away with one bite. Underneath, you could feel his arousal beginning to grow hard. You rolled your hips slightly into him, earning a throaty groan from Alastor. From the silver dining cart you pulled the piece de resistance, that raw bleeding heart, and sunk your teeth into it, tasting the sweet flavor of iron. Trails of blood dripped from your mouth onto your decolletage, slowly turning brown and flaky.
Alastor’s breath heaved, growing even harder from that sultry cannibalistic display. He pulled you towards him and pressed your mouth to his, saccharine saliva mixing with sanguine. His tongue slid and twisted about yours, savoring every inch of its taste. You pulled away from him to catch your breath, making him whine. Leaning in again, he dragged his tongue along your neck, cleaning up the drying strings of blood. 
Both of you straightened up then, him holding you proper now. One hand ran its fingers through his shiny red hair and the other cupped his aching sex, so taut against his trousers. 
“Is that what you were so upset about Al? If they fucked me or not?” You purred into his ear.
The tips of your fingers fluttered over his hip, tracing its edge before returning to his cock. “I bet you wondered if I did this to them, didn’t you?” A small nip was placed on his neck, leaving a red half-moon. Your breath grew hot against his cheek as you whispered into his ear again, 
“Maybe I did, and maybe I did so many more dirty things to them.” 
Alastor enraptured your mouth in another needy kiss. His words heavy with radio static, “What sort of things my dear? Or are you all talk?” Your grin widened seeing the shock in his eyes when you began to unbutton his overcoat.
“Let me show you.”
Four little words was all it took to send him over the edge. Picking you up, his hands traced over all the parts of your succulent body. When he flopped you on the bed, hair as tousled as a pin-up, you reached out a stockinged leg to him, that devious look on your face growing. Oh how badly he wanted to have you, hastily unzipping your dress as you stripped him down to his undershirt and trousers. Deft fingers hooked around the tops of your stockings, pulling them down as fast as they could. You dropped his trousers and took off his shirt, admiring all of that soft, gray skin.
You pressed your mouth to the flesh of his stomach, blessing it with small love-bites that made him shudder. All along his torso you left red patches and traced your cool fingertips along the hard edges where his ribs poked out. You tilted your head up and moved his hands to the straps of your brasserie, exposing all of your hot, yearning flesh. He cupped a breast and lied on top of you. Grinding his sex to yours he moaned into your mouth. It had been so…so long since you’d been wanted, since someone pressed their body to yours and you felt all of their heat as they slid into you, over and over again. 
“Al,” You breathed
“What is it?”
“Get on your back.” 
And so he did. 
Alastor’s back against the mattress and your palms against his chest, you let him enter you. He let out a string of curses when you did, and even more when you started moving in those easy rolling motions. Those large hands of his held the curve of your waist as you rode him, his eyes half-lidded as he watched your breasts bounce. 
“The first time I saw you…” You began, going a little faster, “I wanted you,” You heard a small thud as he dropped his head against the pillows.
“I thought about you kissing me and touching me all over” That’s when the pulses of pleasure started to build up, prickling you in sweet needles that went all the way up your spine.
“And about you sticking your fingers in me and..and your tongue too” You felt your face heat up and your sex grow slicker, admitting those indecent thoughts you only entertained during late nights when your fingers wandered. Alastor gripped your waist tighter, making your rhythm harsher. You looked down on him, his eyes glazed over with euphoria, and felt your mouth pool with saliva.
Digging your nails into the skin of his chest you kept on. “For a whole week I couldn’t keep from slipping my hands between my legs.” Your voice, thick and hoarse. “I wanted to know what you tasted like, if-if your mouth tasted like blood,” that was when he quickened the pace even more. Your sex was so hot and wet, all the way at the base of your spine you could feel your orgasm coming to you, a full-body shiver that made your eyes well with tears. 
The last part was what sent him over the edge though. 
“Sometimes, I’d bite myself so I could taste the blood when I’d touch-” was all it took to make him come. 
Fuck it felt good too. A weak falsetto escaped your mouth when he released, so warm and filling. That’s what made you reach your end too. You clawed your nails in his skin so deep there were two broken half-moons on his chest. Your thighs clenched against his torso, quivering, as you could feel your body become as light and floaty as chiffon. 
Alastor let the both of you ride it out, that sweet joyous bliss. When your mind returned from the heaven it was sent to, you leaned over, resting on top of him. He moved you gently, pressing you closely to his chest. For a while, neither of you spoke, the air lingering with the smell of sweat and blood and sex. You ran your fingers through his hair again; He kissed the back of your hand before speaking. 
“If I’d known all that would come out of making you angry at me, I would’ve earned your ire a long while ago.” You rolled your eyes, flicking his chest playfully. 
“Perhaps we could do this again, without the arguing?” You propose, “You’re quite good at it.” 
A smile stretched across his face as he played with a lock of hair that rested near your face, “Expect nothing less from an overlord of hell cher.” One of his hands slid to your lower back, tracing small circles on that creamy flesh. 
“How about we try one more time without the arguing, for good measure?”
You smirked and kissed him again. All for good measure.
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crumble-cookii · 2 years
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I drew more PCC because I miss him
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ozzgin · 6 months
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What would the yokai gangs favorite ice cream flavors be!! I must know!!
Ha, I think their reaction to ice cream or modern food in general would be interesting. Imagine taking a bunch of ancient demons on a stroll in modern times and you spot an ice cream truck.
Murasaki would go for something very simple, like vanilla ice cream. He's also eating it with a very serious expression and in small, careful bites, facing away from everyone (too embarrassed to show his enjoyment).
Kiritsubo is excited to try everything out, but eventually he'll settle for those flavors usually popular with kids. A bright blue bubblegum scoop will get his tail wagging. He'll beam with delight for some rainbow twirl with popping candy.
Suma is not too picky, maybe he'd go for nutty flavors like pistachio or pecan. As long as it's something in a big tub (that, or he'll empty most of the options and the truck will have to close up early).
Yuugiri likes sweet, fruity flavors like cherry or strawberry. He might also go for something fancier like salted caramel or coffee. He'd probably use this as an opportunity to tease you by licking it in an intentionally clumsy way with his forked tongue, maintaining eye contact and smirking.
Sekiya probably likes some bizarre or not-so-popular flavor like mint chocolate chip. Which adds to his nervousness as he points to his desired choice and hears some kid behind him going "ewww, people actually go for that?"
Sakaki prefers neutral flavors, nothing too strong or too sweet. Vanilla, simple chocolate, matcha and the likes. When I read your ask, I also had this image of him kind of wandering away from the group and just observing you having fun with the others. He likes seeing your smile, so he idly begins sketching it; ever since meeting you he's started a sketchbook of 'happy memories' to look at when he's depressed (almost always).
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r0-boat · 4 months
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Headcanons for favorite ice cream flavor of your favorite whb characters?
I will do all of them
ALL WHB DEMON CHARACTERS AND THEIR FAVORITE ICE CREAM FLAVOR
Ultimate whb ice cream headcannon! Please let me know how you think of them in the comments I love reading them :)
Cut for length.
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Gehanna
Satan
This man is an cookies and cream bastard. He crushes Oreos and puts them into his ice cream the more the merrier. He'll still eat his ice cream even though it's just a pile of cookies and little bits of ice cream. Genuinely gets mad that there's not enough cookies in his ice cream.
Sitri
I think he would like a more uncommon flavor like pistachio or matcha. He understands not many people like his flavor but it's his.
Juno/Ppyong
Chocolate ice cream with chocolate chip. Drizzled with chocolate... He just really likes chocolate.
Leraye
He likes those character popsicles with the eyeball gum. he always takes out the eyeballs first and then eats their heads.
Belial
He likes sherbert with gummy bears. I can see him really liking fruity flavors. Occasionally he does also have sprinkles.
Paimon
Bubble gum flavor is a masterpiece and if you disagree you're wrong.
Astaroth
Rocky road. He likes the richness of chocolate paired with the nuttiness of the almonds and the softness of marshmallows delicious!
Zagan
Chocolate chip! He's a simple man.
Tartaros
Mammon
Anything with caramel has his heart, it's sweet and delicious and he likes watching it roll down. So butterscotch caramel. Don't forget the gold shavings
Bimet
He'll have whatever Mammon is having having. extra gold shavings please... (a scoop of pineapple with coconut shavings)
Eligos
Strawberry with sprinkles! He is a strawberry die hard. Constantly getting into fights with chocolate and vanilla fans.
Valfor
Butter pecan with caramel as well. He'll also politely ask what ice cream flavor are you having and then politely asked for some of yours in exchange for some of his.
Hades
Leviathan
Neapolitan ice cream because it has three flavors and that's better than one. but then would rudely steal a spoonful of yours and wants to try everyone else's because he's jealous of what you're having because it looks good.
Foras
He also likes Neapolitan not because he wants to copy Levi He just genuinely likes the flavors.
Glasyalabolas
He can't decide between Cherry or raspberry. He just really likes strong fruity flavors. He doesn't mind a little chocolate drizzle either.
Barbatos
Of course he would like red velvet And he likes mixing bits of brownies.
Orias
Cotton candy with sprinkles. Anything sweet enough to give you diabetes
Abyssos
Beelzebub
His favorite changes every other day once you ask him It will take in about 10 minutes to think of an answer just to change it three times.
(funny headcanon one time visiting Leviathan He got into his ice cream stash to separate the three flavors and reorganize them as a prank. That's how he got banned from Hades for 100 years.)
Bael
Likes root beer float, He likes it because he can mix it in and then drink it while he's working.
Amon
My brain is telling me that he likes cookie dough. I don't know why I feel strongly about this.
Naberius
Peanut butter. He's such a sucker for peanut butter ice cream. He'll be eating it with his tail wagging happily.
Stolas
Strawberry cheesecake ice cream! And don't you dare tell him it's girly or be mean because he will cry!
Paradise Lost
Lucifer
Moose tracks is the most old man dad flavor I can think of.
Gamigin
He's more of a snow cone guy. But he likes Sorbet anything with citrus and he'll be there.
Marbas
He's a plain guy He just likes vanilla. If he feels like something different than he'll add to it it's perfect.
Beur
He likes vanilla but he's more of a French vanilla person. He thinks of himself as the better vanilla fan. He's kind of prideful about it.
Morax
Not much of an ice cream fan but he'll have whatever you're having
Niflheim
Belphegor
Mint chocolate chip. We don't know much about him it's just a vibe.
Gusion
Coffee flavor, no one saw this coming.
Bathin
He likes flavors from different countries like Ube, moonmist or hokey pokey. Any flavor that's specifically unique to that place he'll try it.
Andrealphus
Rainbow sherbert he likes tasting all the little flavors. He also likes the name because if he could see he wants to see all the pretty colors it has. Probably just as beautiful as he imagines it.
Abbadon
Dantalian
Man likes grape flavor He's just dying to get stabbed.
Phenix
Banana split. He eats the banana whole ;)
Ronove
Mango surprisingly normal...
Other
Minhyeok
Always orders the same ice cream as yours when he's alone he just orders vanilla topped with MnM's
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lilmissnatcat24 · 6 months
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for no other reason than i worked at an ice cream shop for eight years, here's what ice cream the mass effect characters would eat
shepard: neapolitan, strawberry for their paragon side, chocolate for their renegade, vanilla to balance
garrus: moose tracks, but will pick it apart just for the peanut butter cups and give shepard the leftovers
tali: literally any booze flavored ice cream
liara: mint chocolate chip because she secretly kind've fucks with the taste of toothpaste but will never admit it out loud
kaidan: butter pecan. it's not everyone's favorite, but it's his, and he's totally cool with it
ashley: whatever the 2183 equivalent to the tonight dough. cookie dough chunks, brownie chunks, butterscotch, chocolate chips, malt chunks, everything
wrex: this man is old as balls!!!!!! rum raisin!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
joker: lemon sherbet. you cannot tell me that man is not lactose intolerant
miranda: cherries garcia, little bit sweet, little bit tart
jack: the most sickening sweet shit you can think of. cotton candy with marshmallow superman with a side of sugar
jacob: some sort of dark chocolate peanut butter ice cream that sounds good in theory but in reality you can only take like 3 bites of before you get a tummy ache
zaeed: banana splits that he likes to mash together with a spoon and eat like some deconstructed milkshake
kasumi: the weird avant gard shit you see in hipster vegan shops, like some bacon sweet potato rosebud ice cream
mordin: coffee ice cream, because he likes the taste of coffee but if he were to actually drink it he would spontaneously combust
grunt: those froyo shops that were everywhere in 2014 where you could make a bowl with like 5% froyo and 95% other toppings and it cost 14 dollars
thane: doesn't like ice cream because it reminds him of how he abandoned his child and how his wife is dead and he could never go back to the life he left behind, the life of stability, because his body is engineered for a deadly purpose and he can never atone for his sins rocky road
samara: this woman is old as balls!!!!!!!!!!!!! pistachio!!!!!!!!!!!
legion: tried vanilla ice cream. too sticky, got stuck in his wiring.
james: one of those brownie sundaes that weighs approximately 5 pounds and is majority whipped cream
steve: chocolate chip. classy, just like him ;)
traynor: something smooth and rich and velvety and inexplicably sexy, like raspberry chocolate chunk
edi: takes the idea of ice cream a little too literally and just has a bowl of heavy cream with ice cubes. is confused why everyone is disgusted.
javik: ice cream is for primitives (peaches and cream)
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psalacanthea · 6 months
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I'm doing that thing again where a random scenario is showing up in my modern AU fic and I have to think of everyone's preferences so: BG3 companions, ice cream edition.
Wyll: The only man alive who gets an ice cream cone and somehow never drips. He loves a good quality vanilla, but likes it with additions, like a handmade fudge ripple or butter pecan. Will eat an ice cream cone with a spoon, confusing everyone.
Karlach: She wants to go to the place where they mix in shit in front of you. Gummy bears and pretzels. Red hots candy and caramel corn. She's inventing flavor combos you've never heard of. Also likes the blue bubblegum ice cream.
Gale: Ooh! Well, since you're asking, he knows a wonderful place a scant thirty minute drive away that makes their own handmade ice cream. He's been known to indulge in a pint or two...perhaps with a nice glass of wine! Toppings? Well, that would ruin the experience.
Shadowheart: She goes to the same place as Gale, but she hoards her pints in her freezer and you're not allowed to touch them. They have a dark chocolate raspberry she's obsessed with. It's hers, though. You can have a bite. Just one. Fine, you can have another bite.
Lae'zel: She goes to the fast food drive through, orders a chocolate sundae, and leaves. If their ice cream machine is broken again, they will pay the price. Will climb through a drive-through window to fight your manager.
Astarion: Goes to the trendy, insanely expensive restaurant, orders the thousand dollar gold leaf covered, smoked white truffle and whisky ice cream dessert, takes a picture of it for his instagram, and leaves without paying by climbing out the bathroom window.
Minthara: She will take two scoops of chocolate ice cream. Nothing more, nothing less. If you fail to deliver exactly what was ordered, she will have your business destroyed on Yelp. Her prowess on Yelp is legendary. Sometimes Astarion helps her make video reviews of restaurants. She has millions of views, adoring fans, and has no idea.
Halsin: He'd prefer something else for dessert, but he's already here, so...maybe a scoop of pistachio on a cone? Will get distracted and end up with it dripping all over his arm. Whoops! Now everyone's staring at him while he licks his own hand.
Jaheira: She prefers a pastry, but fine. She'll let you know once she's tried every sample at least once. Hmm. Not bad. And...you know what? Never mind. She's full now. Thanks for the samples.
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