#cant take care of myself now but I know that when I was still collecting them the scars

[doromoni]

Not Over the Papaya | OP81

⊹ ｡•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

Ships : Oscar Piastri x Popstar! Reader , Ex!Lando Norris x Popstar! Reader

Genre : Fluff Smau

A/N : womp womp my final uni project is making me crazy and it’s hurting my wallet fr. Anyways, this update took way too long again, are we surprised? No, we are not. Lol Enjoy

Face claim : Jennie Kim

Summary : Y/N and Oscar cope with their own breakups by making the Heartbreak Club.

Masterlist | Series Mastelist

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Incoming call from xxxx xxx xxx

Pick up or Decline

Pick up

“Hello?”

“You made a mistake choosing him”

“Wow, whose phone is this now, Lando?”

“He cant make you happy. The team will not allow it”

“Yeah whatever”

“Y/N I-“

“don’t care”

end call

call dropped

Y/N.

liked by oscarpiastri, y/bf charles_leclerc, danielricciardo, and others

Y/N. That boy is mine

tagged @oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri Hi girlfriend🧡

Y/N. Hi boyfriend 🧡

charles_leclerc WE GET IT U LOVE HIM, why do I need to see him this way 😀

Y/N. get used to a cunty Osc.

charles_leclerc NO he’s an innocent baby, ur corrupting him!!

oscarpiastri wtf. alex pls collect charles

danielricciardo why is it spicy 🥹

oscarpiastri not my fault I’m hot, deal with it

Y/N. Preach.

logansargeant I MADE THIS HAPPEN

Y/N. I’ll give credit when it’s due… ok thanks logan hunter sargeant

oscarpiastri Thanks, now leave us alone pls

logansargeant WOW this is the thanks i get????

user1 Oscar made it into the feed!! Lets go

user2 Y/N and Oscar are now OFFICIAL official

user3 Y/N took the hard launch way to hard

user4 the amount of pda and tension in this post alone makes me want to cry. OK IM SINGLE thanks for pointing that out

user5 SLIDE 1 HELLO???!!

user6 ik!! im shooketh

user7 Osc is so in love with Y/N and it shows 🥹

user8 Osc is obsessed. Ugh I’m so single that it hurtssss

user9 Lol as he should, that is THE Y/N L/N

oscarpiastri

liked by Y/N. , logansargeant, charles_leclerc, markwebber, and others

oscarpiastri against all odds, that girl is mine

tagged @Y/N.

Y/N. Sorry ladies, dibbs! I claim this man🤭

oscarpiastri proudly urs, Luv

nicolepiastri U better not hide Y/N from us, Oscar!

Y/N. Hi Mrs. P 🥺

nicolepiastri hello sweetie! Can’t wait to meet you in person.

oscarpiastri You’ll meet her mom, don’t worry

charles_leclerc So sweet. The two of you are insufferable

oscarpiastri Wow ok. I’m telling grandma u said that.

Y/N. Get off the gram then old man!

user1 OK but why is Osc so hot all of a sudden

oscarpiastri its the girlfriend effect

user1 HI OSC!!

user2 its the Y/N influence~ boi got hotter instantly 🥵

user3 Osc posting Y/N all over his socials!! Flaunt your queen, King.

user4 Brother made sure everyone knew that Y/N is off limits

user5 This is how you treat ur significant other, you dont hide them and treat them like trash. Pls do take notes … Lando im looking at you.

user6 Oscar is spoiling Y/N~ i’m so here for it 😭🫶

user7 Y/N is finally getting the love she needs. Both of them are making efforts for each other, not just Y/N

user8 I’m still obsessed with what Osc did after his win. when will it be my turn huhhh?

user9 I will never let myself forget. My standards are thru the roof!

Notification: you were tagged by mclaren on a post

mclaren

liked by user1 and others

mclaren Welcome back to our side of the paddock @Y/N. We missed seeing you in papaya!

Y/N. Just to support my man @oscarpiastri

oscarpiastri 🧡🧡🧡

danielricciardo @Y/N what an honor to be a guest at McLaren 😀 liked by author

Y/N. I know! I’m so happy to be back there 😀 liked by author

mclaren @Y/N MTC comeback soon? 🤔

Y/N. I would be stupid not to come back 🙂‍↕️😀

user1 Lmao who let admin post this? Y/N is clearly there just for Oscar.

user2 Y/N wouldn’t touch them with a ten foot pole, let alone go back 😭

user3 Mclaren ur embarrassing urself here honey.

user4 the obvious pr stunt, when in fact they hate Y/N for Lando’s stupidity

user5 Danny Ric and Y/N on the comments filled with sarcasm, chandler bing would be proud 🤡

user6 not mclaren actually liking the comments 🤡😭

user7 @user6 I like to think that mclaren knew it was sarcasm but they were forced to like it anyway

user8 I like user7’s version so much I’m gagging HAHAHA

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Series Taglist : @champagneproblems17 @itsjustfranzi @cheriwritesig @forza-charles @awritingtree @sltwins @gr1mes-cc @hwalllllllelujah @btsfluffsworld @tillyt04 @landotd @booksandflowrs @czennieszn @thatsouthernblondewiththeass @wobblymug @alittlechaotics-blog @bingussthirdtoe @mirrorball-6 @demandealalune @heartsforleclerc @yoongi-holland @maneskin-slave @alenix @forensicheart @bloodyymaryyy @stereading @hahahjej @youre-on-your-ownkid : closed

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[wolfiesmoon]

When you suddenly cry in front of them :(

Riddle, Vil, Kalim, Malleus x gn!reader (riddle's and vil's are explicitly post overblot tho it's not super important)

i'm back to entering tartarus every day (school started again) so i thought i might as well distract myself with some hot twst guys :)

i havent been very active i know, i just cant get myself to do anything at all these days 😞i am so so sorry for making a kinda lazy short collection of blurbs but i need to get back into my writing groove somehow

(as a sidenote, i'm worried some of these might be ooc? i sincerely apologise if they are :( )

RIDDLE honestly doesn't know what to do with himself. He never really got the comfort he needed whenever he cried as a child so he had no idea how to comfort you now. He scolds himself internally for not immediately acting and just kind of freezing up beside you so he panics and tries to recall of all the times he saw someone else comforting others in order to end the extremely awkward tension as quickly as possible. He pats your back somewhat rigidly and says "There, there." In an all too awkward manner. You're caught off guard so hard by the sheer akwardness of Riddle's comfort technique that you burst out laughing, troubling Riddle even further. "W...Why are you laughing now?" The dumbfounded expression on his face is the perfect medicine for forgetting your troubles just now. Riddle unintentionally just cheered you up. After the incident, he seemingly becomes less strict with you and starts asking about how you're doing umprompted, which always pleasantly surprises you. Sometimes, Trey even shows up at Ramshackle dorm, holding a tart of your favourite flavour and saying he got orders from Riddle to deliver it to you.

VIL drops his usual strict nature for a bit. Of all people, he would be the one who could tell you were constantly acting strong and unbothered by everything going on around you. He thought of it equal parts admirable as he did foolish. Such intense emotion is not something to keep bottled up inside you and you made him realise that. His expression is surprisingly soft as he places one arm on your back, gently stroking it. He talks you through your feelings with a big sense of maturity and care and you're suprised by just how much he cares for you and your feelings. You don't exactly get that same impression when he's scolding you for not sitting straight or not wearing your uniform properly... regardless, you're very thankful for his words, even the harsher ones about needing to tell someone about things like this. "Tell me, if you must. I will always listen." After the incident, nothing much changes, really. Atleast from the perspective of others. He still gets on your case for not wearing your uniform properly, but he also asks about how you're doing when he gets the chance and does not accept simply "fine" or "okay" for an answer. You simply must elaborate why that is.

KALIM enters big brother mode. He's comforted crying siblings for various reasons before so what makes you any different? He gives you a tight hug, gently rubbing your back and trying to cheer you up with comforting phrases. He'd also try making jokes you to cheer you up and the puns are so bad you might as well start laughing. He didn't even start asking what's wrong but instead waited for you to tell him yourself. He surprised you with how mature (or perhaps just experienced) he is when it comes to crying people. You feel much better even only after a few minutes and you ask Kalim how you can thank him for hearing you out. "Seeing you smile again is reward enough!" He replies and you feel like crying again (but this time not from sadness or stress). After that incident, he always personally invites you to Scarabia parties, hoping they might inject a little joy in your life and keep your mind off things. If you're not a fan of parties, he takes you on carpet rides around the dorm instead.

MALLEUS is shocked into silence. You were smiling at him as sweetly as you always do just a moment ago... He knows how to comfort someone in theory, but now that he has to put it into practice, it feels like he's forgotten everything. He needs to show you that you can rely on him when it comes to your comfort, and that includes crying around him. This might just be one of the most heartbreaking sights he's ever had the displeasure of witnessing. He vows to himself that he never wishes to see you cry again (unless it's at your wedding) and would do anything to prevent it. He wordlessly pulls you into a secure hug, worried that if he does anything else, you might start crying even more. You hug him back and just sob in his arms, thankful for his warm embrace. "It will all be okay, child of man. I'm here, after all." And somehow, you can't help but trust those words with every fiber of your being. After the incident, Malleus ends up confessing what happened to Lilia and Lilia goes into one of those "Oh, how my baby has grown..." rants. But he also does say that Malleus should start inviting you to new places to keep your mind off things and help you let loose. So he does just that, with an added sprinkle of gargoyle-hunting and gargoyle facts. You're now very well educated about gargoyles lol.

[6ix9inewiturmom]

Show And Tell- Matthew Sturniolo

Summary: When matt takes your virginity and shows you how to make yourself feel better about not being so experienced in the sex world

Warnings: Smut, Inexperienced!sub!reader, Experienced!Dom!Matt, praising, cursing, use of Y/N, Oral (fem receiving), P in V, Unprotected sex (Safe sex is great sex, cause you don’t want that late text that I think I'm late text- Lil Wayne), TW! brief talk of emotionally absent parents!

A/N: i absolutely love writing sweet Matt, but what i love writing more is MATT THE MF MUNCHHHH!!

psa: DONT STEAL MY WORK!! THIS BELONGS TO ME MYSELF AND I!

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Ever since Middle school Nick, Matt, Chris, and I have been inevitable. Their mother, Mary Lou, has always taken me in as her own, considering I was the youngest out of 5 in my family, and my parents had me later in life, as soon as I learned how to care for myself, they quit raising me and only came through in times they ‘needed’ to be parents. Mary Lou was the woman I called my mother. whenever they went on a family vacation I always went with them. To the mall? I went. She basically had Quadruplets. When the triplets moved to LA, we were all over 18, and I was more than ready to leave my parent's house even though I had pretty much moved in with them for how much I stayed over, so I moved with them. I offered to get an apartment close by, but all of them collectively agreed and even argued with me about it, so now we all live in the same house.

Today was pretty much a normal day in the house, very calm, no one was filming, and we just did our own things. Matt and I had no plans, Chris went out shopping with some friends, and Nick had meetings and then dinner plans with Tara for a collab idea which left Matt and I at the house.

“Cant believe that you and my mother BOTH collectively agreed to let me walk out of the house looking like that” Matt said laughing showing me a memory that popped up on his moms Facebook page.

“To be fair you were dead set on wearing that entire outfit and your mom and I both knew we couldn't talk you out of that” I said laughing back and throwing my hands up in defense.

“That's when I dated Cassie too, how gross,” he said giving himself the Ick.

“She was the town whore, what'd you expect,” I say giggling at my comment.

“You know I never asked, whatever happened to Jackson? I just recalled he spread some rumor about him taking your virginity, and a bunch of other stuff, and you came to the house crying and Mom was comforting you and you never spoke about that again” he looks over at me as my head hung low looking at my hands.

Jackson was a guy I ‘dated’ junior year of high school, he took me on one date, it was very nice and he seemed amazing, though I should've listened to Nick when he told me Jackson was no good. After our date instead of taking me home he insisted on talking more and drove to the park in the middle of the city. His intentions were not pure. Jackson tried every which way to get me in the backseat, I rejected many many times that night and made some excuse on how I was on my period and that immediately grossed him out. Come to find out, as soon as we got back to school he spread a rumor around the entire school that he had taken my virginity and told the school I was into weird kinks. I knew I couldn't go to my mother about that because she would have taken me directly to the health clinic to ‘check if I was still pure’ so I went to Mary Lou, i and made sure to tell her to tell the boys not to bring it up to me and try their best to shut it down.

“I uh thought i told you about what happened?” i lied and nervously laughed.

“Nope,” he said popping the ‘p’ “I'm pretty sure I would have remembered something that important to where my own mother had to come to me, Nick, and Chris, and tell us not to talk to you about it, plus I mean it's been 4 years if you don't wanna talk about it I understand,” he said reassuring me.

I've always felt comfortable with all 3 of them, and always had a special relationship with all of them, and trust them with my life. I never went to them about this because I was embarrassed I was a virgin, I wasn't gonna tell them I didn't lose my virginity, considering both Matt and Chris came to me about sex advice I didn't want them to look at me any different for not being experienced enough so I lied and told them that Jackson did take my virginity but I wasn't into the weirder stuff Jackson accused me of.

“Fuck” I mutter under my breath. “Okay so, I just wanna say one thing before I tell you what actually happened between Jackson and me” I look back at him with nerve piercing through my body.

“Y/N, you know you can tell me anything” Matt adjusts himself to face me.

“So don't judge me,” I start taking a deep breath. “So Jackson made up that entire rumor,” I take my bottom lip between my teeth.

“I’m extremely confused” he scratched the back of his head laughing.

“God this is embarrassing” I place my head in my hands “fuck it, so he didn't take my virginity at all, and obviously the kink thing was a lie” I look up at him who still has a puzzled look on his face.

“So if Jackson didn't take your virginity then who did? Cause you basically swore off dating after him” he raises his eye brows in confusion.

“No one, Matt, I'm a uh Virgin” I drop my head down in embarrassment fiddling with my fingers.

“No fucking way, you gave both Chris and me AMAZING sex advice, stop fucking with me Y/N/N” he said laughing.

“Matt I'm being for real,” I shoot him an awkward smile “and please the sex advice ain't nothing, I know what I would like so I kinda made an assumption and by the looks of it, I'm guessing it worked” I nervously laughed.

“Holy shit,” his eyes go wide “why haven't you, you know?”

“It's hard for me to trust people, especially with something like that,” I shrugged my shoulders “When I hit puberty, my mother gave me a ‘save yourself till marriage’ talk instead of informing me of my body she scared me from sex, but I had gone to your mom one day when you three were hanging with Nate and she actually gave me that kinda talk and more or less told me to always make sure I felt safe and in the hands of someone I trust, and Jackson did neither of those things” I continue to fiddle with my fingers.

“You trust me right?” he says curiously

“Matt don't be stupid, yes I do” I lightly giggle. “Why is that even a question?”

“ah fuck it, never mind” he brushes it off.

“No, no, I told you something that no one knows so come on speak up,” I lightly push his arm.

“I was gonna say I could teach you a couple things about sex but i ain't too sure you'd be down for that anyway” he shrugged his shoulders turning his body back towards the TV.

“What if I was down?” I look at him through my lashes.

His head jerks in my direction, “actually?” his eyes light up.

“Matt do you know how embarrassing it is to be an almost 21-year-old who's never had sex,” a soft giggle escaped my lips.

“Have you ever like, touched yourself before?” he said slightly cringing at his words.

I was a little taken aback by his curiosity “I mean yeah, once or twice” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Did you like ever finish from that?” he shifts his body back in my direction. “I know this sounds a bit invasive but I promise if you want to do this I have a reason for asking these questions” he placed his hand on my knee.

“No… it just um” I swallow the lump in my throat “I just couldn't..”

“So you've never experienced anything sexual?” the curiosity in his voice makes me feel safer and know he's not judging me and is actually caring enough to ask and not just crawling on top of me and getting down to it.

“Nope,” I say softly

He slowly nods “Do you want to learn?” his voice goes soft.

“H-how?” I stutter out.

“Obviously if you feel comfortable enough with it, I could be the one to show you, If you catch my drift” he sends me a reassuring smile.

“Y-you would take my virginity?” I ask nervously.

“Only if you want me to” his voice trails off

“What about Nick and Chris? God that would be awkward if they walked in or something, oh my god I don't want them to think any-” he cuts me off

“Woah slow down, it's okay, they won't be back till like 9, and it's 4 now, we'll be okay kid” he laughed rubbing soft circles with his thumb over my knee. “Do you want to do this?”

I nod softly. “No this is important to you, I want your verbal consent that this is okay” he moves closer to me.

“Yes, please, I want this, all of this,” I say softly adjusting my body closer to his.

He smiles leaning closer to my face and softly pressing his lips against mine. My eyes fall shut and I turn into jello as I feel the way his hand that was once on my knee moves up toward my hip. A small smile creeps upon both of our lips. I softly pull away.

“Can we not do this on the couch?” I say laughing a little

“Absolutely,” he stands up almost immediately and picks me up bridal style walking into his room and kicking the door open as I giggle like a kid in a candy store.

He carefully sets me down on his blue silk sheets crawls on top of me and presses his lips onto mine once again making a soft groan travel between our lips.

“Can I take this off?” he says softly playing with the hem of my shirt.

“Yes” I bite my bottom lip

He smiles down at me and pulls my shirt off leaving me in my bra. He hooks his finger under my bra strap rubbing his finger up and down just looking down at me. “You're so beautiful. I don't ever tell you much” his comment makes a soft pink shade appear on my cheeks.

He leans down again kissing me and pointing his tongue out for permission to enter, my mouth opens slightly as his tongue explores my mouth, and this time his hands start to grab at my covered breast. “You can take it off, Matt” I giggle between kisses.

He gave me no response but his left hand held my lower back and his right unclasped my bra letting it fall right off my shoulders. He pulled away from kissing me and looked down at my breast in awe. “God you're Fucking beautiful” he mutters.

His mouth begins leaving kisses down from my jawline to my collarbone and stopping at my breast looking up at me through his lashes almost asking for permission without asking. I shoot him a smile and nod and his tongue licks softly across my nipple sending shivers down my spine. He smirks to himself attaching his mouth to one of my nipples and slightly tugging at my other. He sucks and nips at my nipples taking them between his teeth every now and again. My breathing gets heavier at the sensitivity and my head falls back as a soft whimper falls from my mouth.

He lifts his head up and places himself between my legs to unbuckle my shorts, shimmy them down my legs, and throws them with the pile of clothes next to the bed. He admires my choice of underwear today, smirking as they're unironically his favorite color, purple, with a tiny little bow right up top. He hooks his finger at the top of them sliding back and forth before sliding them down my legs leaving me bare beneath him.

“such a pretty fucking pussy” he groans out. he leans his head down and spits down onto my aching pussy. using his thumb he slowly moves up and down.

“Holy fuck” I gasp out.

Matt chuckles and moves his body down where his head is now between my legs. His thumb is still slowly going up and down he begins kissing down my thighs on both sides. “I want you” he places another kiss on my thigh “to tell me” Another kiss “What feels good to you alright?” he places a kiss right above my clit.

“O-okay” I say nervously

“And please don't be afraid to tell me to stop” he gives me a reassuring smile.

I nod sending him the same warm smile. He starts to place a soft kiss on my clit before flattening his tongue on my pussy and licking a stripe up and groaning once the taste of me hits his tongue.

“Oh, Matt” My breathing hitches and I throw my head back in pleasure.

His tongue begins to flick up at a faster pace making moans spill out of my mouth, his eyes are fixated on me and how my body reacts to his mouth pleasuring me.

“Fuck you're so fucking good at this” My fingers run through his hair forcing his head deeper into me.

He moans into me sending vibrations through my body as my hips jerk up and my eyes roll back. His lips attach to my clit sucking on it a little causing a squeal to fall from my mouth.

“Fuck i-i I think I'm gonna cum” I stutter out as an unfamiliar knot forms in the pit of my stomach

“Mhm” he mutters before lifting his head “Let it go sweet girl” he lowers his head again taking my clit between his teeth and flicking upwards on it.

“Oh my FUCK” I scream out when that knot snapped a wave of euphoria pierced my body and my orgasm dripped out of me making Matt move his body to watch it happen.

He wiped his mouth using his arm smiling “you okay baby?” he chuckled.

“Fuck” I breathe out “If that's why people are sex addicts I see why god damn that was amazing” I smiled up at him.

“I'm not even done yet” he smirks lifting his shirt over his head and throwing it across the room.

“Are you 100% positive you want this?” he asks as he stands up removing his belt.

“This is the first decision I've ever made that I'm 100% positive I won't regret,” I say as I watch him remove his pants and free his cock with his tip red and throbbing for attention.

He climbs back and moves me farther up on the bed. “Fuck there's no way that's gonna fit in me, that's fucking massive,” I say as my eyes stare at his cock.

“It'll fit baby” he chuckles “shit I don't have a condom,” he says rummaging through his bedside table.

“I'm on birth control, you don't need one” I smile up at him.

“Are you sure?” he smirks.

“Yes Matt,” I smile batting my lashes up at him.

“Okay then” he brings his hand up to his mouth and spits in it before gliding his now wet hand to coat his aching cock. “I gonna go slow, inch by inch and you tell me when to move, and tell me if it hurts too much I'll stop immediately,” he says aligning his cock with my entrance.

“Okay,” I breathe out.

As his tip slowly enters me I hiss. “Are you okay?” he says with a concerned look on his face.

“I'm okay just hurts” I reply biting my lower lip.

He slowly enters another couple of inches. Watching how my face nuzzled up at the new feeling. Then he slides in another few inches. After a couple of minutes, he's fully bottomed out. “Look at that, you're doing so fucking amazing,” he says adjusting himself closer to my face and brushing loose strands out of my face.

“Y-you can move,” I say nodding slowly.

He smiles before slowly thrusting out and moving towards my hips as the pain I once felt turns into pleasure in a matter of seconds.

“Oh, matt fuck faster please” I plead gripping his biceps for support.

“God you're so fucking tight” his pace speeds up as he lowers his body and begins kissing my neck and groaning into me.

“S-so fucking big” I moan out.

He rolls his hips towards mine and slams them into me. His grunts become harsher. “Fuck” he growled in my ear. “I love the way you feel wrapped around me” he moans in my ear which is almost a whimper.

“Matt” I scream out as his cock finally and repeatedly kisses my G-spot.

“Someone close eh?” he lifts up sadistically grinning at me.

I nod vigorously as my legs begin twitching and shaking around his waist and that knot forms in my stomach for the second time tonight.

“Cum all over my fucking dick baby, I know you can do it,” he said as his thrusts become sloppy.

With just his words that knot snapped in my stomach and formed a white ring around the base of his cock as my cum coats his cock. With a couple more thrusts he nuzzles his head in my neck and paints my walls a shade of white. He slowly pulls out careful not to hurt me.

“Fuck you're amazing” I breath out coming down from my euphoric state.

“Yeah? You did fucking amazing,” he smiles down at me laying next to me and pulling me into a cuddled skin-to-skin hug.

“Thank you matt” I mutter into his chest.

“No problem sweetheart” he kissed the top of my head. “You know I'd do anything for you” he softly whispers making me smile and nuzzle into him more.

“Do you want me to run you a nice bath? Or you wanna go get food? What do you wanna do, cause we got about 2 hours till Nick and Chris come home” he pulls away looking at me.

“We can shower and I can cook for us” I smile at him.

“Perfect” he smiles at me and picks me up bridal style again to carry me to the bathroom.

The way he cared for me, I knew I made the right decision. Losing my virginity to the man I knew I could trust.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A/N pt 2: TY TO THE PERSON WHO REQUESTED THIS!! BECAUSE THIS WAS VERY FUN TO WRITE!! anyways i hope you guys are having an amazing evening, afternoon, morning, or night!! and i love you guys!! 🩷🩷

[averyy-rae]

Dear God,...

Yandere Story/Scenario

Part 1 (here) Part 2

Summary: The darling is trying to escape from their yandere boyfriend's and is currently being chased through the woods.

Warnings: Violence, chasing, escape attempt, obsessive behavior, toxic relationship, (sorta) yandere harem, wounds, mentions of emotional abuse.

Note: This is from the darlings perspective, let me know (if anyone reads/likes this) if you want a second part or the boyfriend's perspective. Please give me feedback, this is my first publish on here. :)

Have fun reading.

Darlings POV:

I just ran.

I'm still running.

...

As I'm running, I'm already out of breath. Everything passes by me in a blur. I cant feel my legs. Hell. I cant feel anything.

My mind is too clouded with adrenaline and fear to care about all the scratches and wounds I've collected on my escape so far. I keep tripping, but I stand up on weak, wobbly legs, forcing myself to keep running. To keep going. My whole body is aching, as every fiber of my body is begging me to stop running and take rest. To just lay against the next tree, or even on the dirty floor.

I wish to just stop.

I wish to just collapse on floor and be swallowed whole by it. Not having to worry about anything..., not having to worry about th-

Suddenly my mind goes blank.

as I'm, what feels like being thrown to the floor- I got knocked off my feet mid run. The air gets knocked out of me. Everything happens in a blur and time seems to stop. The only thing I can feel for a moment is my heart stopping.

Only for a split second- I'm outside of my body.

Only for a split second- I'm not myself.

'How I wish that was true'.

The next thing I know is- I'm on the floor, trying to gather my senses. My adrenaline rush seems to wear off. I can hear again, but it's not pleasant, I can hear ragged- enraged breathing.

My heart beats faster, my fear growing as I realize...

He-.... I cut myself off. No... I know better.

They caught me. I feel dread starting to consume me at the thought. Too scared to confirm, I just lay there.

I can suddenly feel every single wound ; every single scratch on my body. All the hasty running and panicked tripping wore me out. As if that wasn't enough, my mind plagues me with horrid thoughts. 'I don't want to be proven right, not this time dear god. I beg you' My mind screams. I know.., the moment I open my eyes.

I will see those eyes. Those eyes I learned to fear. Those eyes I was supposed to obey.

Their eyes.

I can feel them on me. So many pairs of eyes. Roaming my face.. my body, longing to get a look into my deepest thoughts. I know they are waiting-

They want to search my eyes for regret, remorse, anything to stop them.I can feel their enraged stares, accompanied by their breathing. 'Danger' my subconsciousness screams.

I had learned to respect them. I crossed the line before, I tried to run. They've  never hurt me.. 'Physically' my subconsciousness reminds me. 'But this time...I've gone too far', even I realize that. But it's too late.

They want my regret, they want me to beg ; but I can't get myself to regret my decision right now. And my pride still stops me from begging for forgiveness. So I fear what will happen to me when I open my eyes. As much as I wished that I could, I can't lay here forever. I know their patience is growing thinner by the second. I fear I will anger them so much, they won't forgive me this time.

For the first time I fear for my well-being in their presence. I fear...

for my life.

So I take one last shaky breath, stopping my seemingly endless train of thoughts and open my eyes. I immediately wish I didn't. What I'm seeing... I wouldn't have been able to imagine.

'gruesome-'

My thoughts immediately get cut off as he raises his voice to speak. I think at this point, I'm as pale as a corpse. I can hear him trying to suppress the rage in his voice as he says ; a little too sweetly...

"Tag you're it, sweetheart.. "

[partywithoutsmiling]

do you have favourites aus or fics within the fandom?

Hello!

When it comes to AUs I am naturally more biased towards my own XD I don't have all the corners of Tumblr explored, so all my favourites are ones in the general sense (as in, I don't know their original creator)

I always like the ones where John Dory comes back to take care for Branch; another fun one is when it explores a different brother being captured by Velvet and Veneer (or even Poppy); Branch getting adopted by a different tribe is another fun one too!

I've seen AUs like Brotherhood!AU, Borrower!AU and Cult!Branch AU thrown around in the Trolls tag, but to be honest I had troubles finding more details in one coherent post, and all of them seem rather... dark? XD Tbh I am not really a fan of AUs where the Brozone bros come up as a villains or villain-adjacent pff

I definitelly have some fic favourites rn, though I read so many and several I didn't even bookmarked- but I will share the ones I like the most! (Some fics, while having a good idea and trying their best are kinda lacking in the execution, so I don't include those)

All of them are on AO3, so, in no particular order:,

No Strings Attached by Spritzy (Completed) Spritzy is fairly active Trolls fics writer, and I'd consider them a good one, so you will see their name again XD This fic is more a collection of oneshots, about whatever honestly; it's a mix of mostly World Tour related stuff

Fluffy Love by Spritzy (Completed) Again, sort of collection of oneshots, but hardcore Broppy XD The premise being that the Pop Trolls act more... wild? And have both fur, paws and tails (something I really enjoy myself pf) Spritzy seems to be adding to this fic sometimes, as it strikes their fancy, so it's always a pleasant surprise to see it pop up in my updated bookmarks!

Elapse by Dulltoned (Completed) A tiny fic that is about the Brozone brothers trying to coexist together and heal from their breakup XD it goes with various levels of success, and Branch is very much not coping pff

It Runs In The Family by Localamblogus (Completed) In addition to Floyd, Branch gets captured by Velvet and Veneer as well (JD at first tried to come up with ways to solve Floyd's capture on his own and Velvet got too tired of waiting and thus tried to lure in another brother with a fake letter) Looking for Branch, JD finally arrives in Pop Village- naturally, Poppy enlists herself to help, and is not impressed by the elder Brozone brothers as the adventure goes on XD

You Are Half Of Me Now by Localamblogus (Completed) Now THIS fic is probably my top favourite XD Set during the time where Creek betrayed Poppy and the rest of the Snack Pack, an attempt at escape fails spectacularly, causing Chef to notice Branch's lack of colours; now sepparated from the rest, even after the other trolls escape with Bridget's help, Poppy is determined to leave no troll behind. Includes fledgling Groppy/Broppy feels, and Cooper is Poppy's little adopted brother and the sibling feels are so real (A+ honestly), and Creek gets what he deserves XD Can't recommend this one enough.

Eldest and Youngest by TheMiraculousMat (Main Fic Completed) A collection, a classic 'JD returns to care for Branch'; a good execution of the concept and entertaining read, though I am now reading another fic (ongoing) that is able to execute this AU even better XD Still, I do recommend reading this one!

Clocks (Home Where I Wanted to Go) by Espionages (Incomplete) Another 'Branch Gets Captured' fic, but this time it's just poor him all alone in Velvet and Veneer's grasp; naturally, Poppy gets very concerned- and when a letter adressed to a Troll named 'Floyd' arrives, she makes it her business to find the recipient- and in the process finds out where Branch has gone. The fic itself sits on 17 chapters out of 18, and havent been updated for a month XD a shame, but here's hoping the final chapter will eventually get posted, cant do nothing but cross our fingers!

Breathe Again by Blade_That_Was_Broken (Incomplete) Possibly the only Human AU that you will see on this list (as I am not that big of a fan of those- it's hard for me to read a 'mundane' retelling with the characters, as they seem to lose most of their magical whimsy when people do that) but this is perhaps one AU that I am very invested into (it does help the writer is really excellent, and you will see more of their work on this list as well) The premise is that JD had been kicked out of the house by his parents when he was 18, and fought hard and legal battle to get his brothers in his custody. It is more complicated than that naturally, but this is the start, and the family feels are real- especially with baby Branch, who JD had no idea existed until a moment ago XD It currently sits at 6 chapters out of planned 8, and is being a part of a series, so hopefully more content for this AU will be coming!

I'm Still Here by Blade_That_Was_Broken (Main Fics Complete) A chunky 4-part fic series, where JD returns to get baby Branch after a brief stint in the Neverglades, and then takes him into the wilderness with him, figuring he can keep him more safe than if he stayed in the Troll Tree. Of course, tragedy strucks, and suddenly older and grey Branch appears in the new Troll Village, without his brother. I will leave it at that, but it's basically retelling of the Troll series with this little twist in narrative!

Smoke and Starlight by Blade_That_Was_Broken (Complete) Branch still deals with that nasty little voice in his head that is convinced all his brothers will leave him, but that doesn't stop him about inquiring about his parents, and JD is his best bet. This fic explores more about the brothers relationships and more about John Dory and his life in the past 20 years- it is very Brozone friendly fic and the family feels are of the charts, I definitelly recommend!

I'll Never Fall, Unless it's You I'm Falling For by Dinoo_Saur (Complete?) A series of oneshots, at this time only two of them, about fledgling Groppy/Broppy. I assume the writer will add to it eventually, once they feel inspired, but even those two that are here are good read!

Shattered Pieces by Icedarsha (Incomplete) Aftermath of TBT and the brothers are *baaad* at this whole brother thing XD really kinda fumbling all around, but we love them for it. The fic currently sits at 15 chapters, and haven't been updated since April 20th 2024, so we will see where the writer plans to take us

Everything Stays (Right Where You Left It) by Venusperia (Incomplete) Poor Poppy has been taken by Velvet and Veneer and she is NOT having a good time at all; in the meantime, Branch returns to his manic grey self, as he is forced to realize that he might have to try and find his brothers as the only way to shatter a diamond is Perfect Family Harmony- and sets out to do so, with Barb as his best buddy for the ride (and perhaps his handler, as Branch is just a trigger away from jumping his brothers' throats) This fic currently sits at 15 chapters, last updated April 22nd 2024- I feel kinda impatient for this one as Poppy is really having a shitty time, to the point she doesnt even fight to keep her optimism up, and Branch is just spiralling

I'll see you when I fall asleep by Idontsleepidaydream (Complete?) Series of mostly oneshots, set after events of TBT, explorations of Brozone relationship and feels, mostly focused on JD honestly, who has more issues that a rabid cat in a bag

Your Grace by Mrct (Incomplete) A series about how JD returned to the Troll Tree to care for Baby Branch, and when the Trolls made their triumphant escape, King Peppy perished in the effort. John, instinctivelly tucking little baby Poppy in his hair in the chaos of it all, suddenly gets stuck as acting regent, much to his confusion, unease and resignation XD It currently on has a 3-chapter long fic but I assume the writer plans to expand on it, which is why I recommend the series whole

I Wanna Find A Home by Isabel3710 (Incomplete) Grey little Branch decided that he is too much of a burden among the trolls of his own Tribe, and figures it is best to leave and find somewhere else to be a less of a bother. His feet leads him to the Lonesome Flats into the arms of young Delta Dawn, who cannot on good conscience allow this poor little trolling to struggle, even though he is probably a Pop Troll (And honestly, seeing the mess he is, all the better he left them and found the Country Tribe in her opinion) Currently sitting at 3 chapters, last updated at April 30th 2024, I cant honestly wait to see Branch find the family he deserves <3

Weightless by Sunfox (Incomplete) When Chef attacks, both Poppy and Peppy gets captured along with the Snack Pack, leaving the Pop Tribe leaderless. With contingency plans in motions, they decide to evacuate, but Sky Toronto knows he has to let Branch knows what happened- either in effort to convince him to come along or to know to stay put in his bunker. Branch instead decided he cannot on good conscience let any trolls get eaten and sets out to save Poppy and the rest from certain doom. Currently sitting at 2 out of 3 chapters planned, and last updated only few days ago, it is honestly more of a 'snack' than a full sized fic XD But I enjoy the exploration of the events

Birdie by TurnedWorm (Incomplete) Clay managed to happed upon grey Branch just as the Trolls were escaping through the tunnels and now reunited, off with the (future) Putt Putt trolls they go; fic that explores the very early struggles of survival of the sepparated tribe, while Clay tries to be the best guardian for Branch as well. Currently sitting at 3 chapters and sadly last updated in march, but hope is still holding that the writer will continue it XD

Torrent by ASamwich (Incomplete) Grey Branch is having a very bad time; nearly drowning in his bunker when storm caused his seals to break through and flood his lower levels, he is then found by concerned Poppy in the midst of battling a serious infection. With his bunker pretty much inhabitable right now and him being ill, he is forced to accept help and dragged kicking and screaming into friendship XD Currently sitting at 5 chapters and last updated at the beginning of April, it is one of those 'I hope it will get continued eventually' fics pff

Field of Forgetmenots by EmpressGeek (Incomplete) A planned series probably spanning multiple fic (the first one sitting at 4 chapters and complete), it explores a sudden growing sibling relationship between Grey Branch and Keith, a little oddball trolling who seems to be fitting badly among his peers. Very sweet with hint of trauma on Branch's part, and I am at the edge of my seat, waiting for more XD

Dereliction by Jellfish (Incomplete) This is, in my opinion, THE fic about John Dory returning to take care for Branch (After Rosiepuff's death and after the escape from the Troll Tree) Thinking he will find a happy little trolling, JD instead finds a little malnourished neglected scrappy thing, and is not only horrified and angry, but also terribly guilty about ever leaving. Currently sitting at 36 chapters and updated fairly regularly, I really cannot recommend this one enough!

Rewinding our Fate by Trollsbuzz (Incomplete) Perhaps the only time travel fic written with some style and quality that makes it readable XD It is rushing through the Broppy rather fast in my opinion, and some things feel a bit OOC, buuuut it's nothing major and it is enjoyable read! Currently sitting at 41 chapters and being updated fairly regularly, so here's hoping it will continue so!

Now, the remaining 3 Fanfic recommendations are all Anonymous and Incomplete (Sadly seems the authors didn't want to be associated with writing for Trolls franchise but oh well)

A Litte Winter Miracle Grey Branch suddenly and to his horror finds abandoned egg in the snow, and overcome with protective urges is unable to just pass it along to anyone else. Reconnecting with Kismet, he is slowly settling into his sudden parent role (in secret from most other Trolls, including Poppy and the Snack Pack). Adding to bit of feral behaviour from Branch, it makes for a very easy read- currently sitting at 24 chapters and last updated at April 26th, it is one I am really hoping that will continue XD

I'm Gonna Make This Place Your Home Kid Grey Branch got accidentally mistaken for a rock tribe trolling by teenage Barb, and hauled of to the angler buses before anyone could even blink XD With a nice portrayal of autistic Branch, it's one of THE 'accidental sibling acquisitions', but Barb can't complain as she got the awesomest little brother out of the deal. Currently sitting at 14 chapters and last updated at April 24th, it gives me some hope it will continue XD

Stuck With You Instead of the whole Velvet and Veneer plotline, we get Cashmere, who strives to be a more of a Country Pop singing sensation- and John Dory and Delta Dawn happens to be her unfortunate victims. Featuring miserable John Dory who, after 20 years, doesnt hold much hopes that anyone would even care he is gone, and rather furious Delta Dawn who can't believe she got stuck with a Pop Troll and is determined to escape. Do I sense a future romance brewing...? (I sure hope so!) Currently at 3 chapters and last updated on May 1st, I am fairly optimistic this one is ongoing!

So those are my recommendations! Hopefully I did not mess up the links but you can always search for them manually XD

[goatpaste]

So you know your amazing sbr au/rewrite where Hotpants and Diego look after Lucy Steel? Well, I'd just been thinking about the repercussions if it were more canon compliant with character deaths when I realised something:

Wow, this would have turned the fight with alternate universe Diego/the World from terrifying to heart-breaking.

Because imagine. Imagine Lucy, so, so close to the end of this journey, to the end of this tragedy that has claimed her protectors, her friends' lives, only to come face to face with the last hurdle.

And it's wearing Diego's face.

He's cold, and cruel, and callous, and he's everything that Diego learned not to be but he's wearing. HIS. FACE.

She knows what she has to do, she knows, but there's a voice at the back of her mind (strangely reminiscent of the one Johnny had when fighting Valentine). What if it could be different? What if it could be better?

What if she could get him back?

THROWS myself against the walls on my encloSER liKe a frantic ANIMAL

this ask literally had me rethink the way i wanted to go about this area of my rewrite and find a middle point between what I originally thought and this. Which originally it was just that Lucy stayed behind with the just barely having survived Diego and Hot Pants while the ending mostly goes the same with johnny going after alt Diego...

but oUGh im picturing the idea of Lucy is on the train with Diego and Hot Pants, their attempting to get Lucy to Mr. Steel and out of the country for her safety as everyone has painted a target on their back. However the trio is cornered by Funny Valentine who has realized they have the last pieces of the corpse between them. He's managed to collect from Johnny and Gyro and now he just needs the remaining eye, spine, and the heart to finish the job.

Fight goes almost the same as the canon, Diego nearly takes out FV but it crushed under the wheels of the train. FV receives the second eye. Hot Pants attempts to bargain with the President, to let Lucy leave safely if they hand over the remaining corpse parts. FV is instead the one hosting the finishing form of the holy corpse and the pull of the Love Train and its protection is active. Though Valentine promises to let Lucy go, he refuses to let Hot Pants go, and still plans to take care of Steel. Hot Pants goes to defend herself but is impaled by the incoming debris from the activating Love Train. The last Lucy see's of HP is Hot Pants attempting to move away from Valentine as the shards of glass attempt to crawl up her arm. Frozen unable to get herself to stay and keep Lucy safe or leaving to save herself. Just in time she see's Johnny and Gyro riding up on Horseback, and she falls from the train, which Lucy presumes to her death.

However unknown to Lucy, Hot Pant's escape saved her as she leaves the range of Love Train and manages to use cream starter to remove the glass. from here HP would hurry down the train line to the two halves of Diego that could hardly be called alive. Using Cream Starter to mend his wounds, just barely in the nick of time.

Back down the Tracks, time has passed and the fight between Johnny, Gyro and Valentine has concluded. Gyro and Valentine are dead while Johnny and Lucy mourn their loses. However the alternate Diego shows up to take the corpse and Johnny chase after him. Lucy Follows knowing Johnny cant do it alone in his state and she knows the secret to take out the alt Diego (However not with base world Diego's head this time, instead with one of the ribbons Diego gave her along the way. )

However I picture that Johnny loses to Diego and Lucy runs into Alt Diego before the bunker. Her and Tiny Butterfly are attempting to stop him while avoiding getting trapped in The Worlds range.

During all this, Diego senses Tiny Butterfly/Lucy's fear and need for HP and Diego to come and save her again. Lucy is running from a man with the face of someone who has become so important to her. As far as she's aware this is the only thing left of him in the world and its trying to kill her.

Diego would make just in time, getting up and going after her before Cream Starter can properly heal him (which is important to my Giorno fanpart and the main reason he died so young) Diego and Lucy take out this secondary Dio together.

[solar-tl-27]

HEY

Whoah I’m posting

All by myself ??

Woah woah woah woah! I am here to show SOME art!

A while ago the announcement of the next pokemon game came out! And with my favorite region returning there was only one thing I could possibly do!

Hyperfixate on my own oc lore in the Pokémon universe so much that once again i’ll only be disappointed by the game in the end lol. So…. Let’s talk about them!

This will be a collection of some of my older art to finally end up on the most recent art i just finished so if u don’t care about Pokémon plz scroll down and appreciate my art ( ToT )

Ok so! I always make original characters to be my protagonist is Pokémon games so when x& y came out i created a character named colette

A woman in her mid 20’s that I totally 100% didn’t oc x canon ship with the villain (i did)

A looong time skip later pokemon sword shield came out which led to the continuation of the colette storyline!

With her daughter Pandora and her friends! Causing the creation of joshua & sapphire (the original image is definitely created with bases so credit to pokemon for the original art & selenaede for the bases)

(Draft didn’t save here so aha sob)

They have been through several versions since then, all slightly different over time

You had pandora: a smart and elegant young girl and the protagonist

Joshua: the nerdy one but also the one that helps everyone no matter what

Saphie: the one who likes cute things and fashion

They were pretty basic characters and evolved but this is theee base line of their characters up until their last design

Just 3 teens on an adventure

BUT NOW

Timeee skip babyyy the return of Colette’s home means i wanna drag her daughter there!

The teens are now young adults! Trying to figure out what they wanna do in life and i can FINALLY MAKE BIG CHANGES TO SOME OF THEM

Let’s goo!

Their outfits are loosely based on the pokemon xyz legendary Pokémon but i also wanted them to be able to stand on their own!

They are now young adults trying to figure out what they want to do with their life and having a change of scenery so

Let’s get into it!

Saphie

Saphie’s finally got his cute accessories back!! He’s finally got a cutesy outfit which suits his style and iiii finally got rid of the side shave going for a complete adorable vibe for him instead. With bows, beads and a new cute hairstyle he’s finally ascended to adorable! He’s easily home sick and going with his friends on this journey sure is a big change. Someone who’s unsure of his future but knows he always has his friends to rely on!

Joshua

Joshua is definitely still the nerdy one, he’s got the clearest vision of what he wants his life to be, not always understanding his friends but always trying to be supportive. His style is definitely the one that changed over time, leaving the nerdy studious look behind to try something new!

His friends definitely chose this outfit for him and it’s actually the closest he’s been to his oc predecessor as he was actually recycled. Sadly that art has been lost to type but, before he was joshua from this group he was joshua a character who was definitely a lot more edgy and artistic. I wanted to bring that back with this design and I personally think i did his original design justice.

Pandora

Pandora always changes the least, her design has always been clear to me in ways but i did want to try new things. Finally deciding i cant choose between the 2 eye colors she’s had I decided i don’t have to choose SO I JUST GAVE HER BOTH. Putting her into something that’s just her style but also trying different colors she’s now more confident and determined, she’s on this journey to learn more about her family and try to choose what direction to take her life in.

Proud to see her friends figure out who they are but also sometimes feels like depending on what choices she makes could have them drift apart. Having to remind herself to have fun on the trip as well she’s probably the one who’s choices will make the biggest difference in what her life will end up being. A true protagonist with issues to deal with and secrets to uncover!

Thank u forrr looking at my little art post!

Now! I have a secret for all my winx people

Guess who’s back in the building again teehee

Ok bye bye!

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

Lmfaooo I know I already yapped my way into ur inbox earlier but. Sighhhh aroace reader has been on my mind again and I’m literally screaming clutching my torso rolling around on the floor crying thinking about it no joke <///333

I think that aroace reader + stsg comes with SO much comedic potential I physically cannot 😭😭 especially with reader who’s pretty much romance averse with satosugu (secretly) being their exception… like maybe shoko and utahime end up talking about their love lives and ask reader about THEIR love life and reader just deadpans “oh I don’t do romance. Doesn’t interest me” and satosugu (particular toru) are just like “….🙁ok but but but but but but-“ LMFAOO BUT THIS ALSO WORKS WITH READER WHOS COMPLETELY UNAWARE OF HOW STSG FEEL ABOUT THEM DESPITE IT BEING OBVIOUS TO EVERYONE ELSE???? imagine being with them out in public, being all affectionate n shit and then a cashier asks “oh are you guys dating? :)” and before either of them can get a word in ur just like “oh no, we’re just close friends haha!!! I know it looks like we do but none of us having feelings for each other at all haha!!!!” And they just look so fucking dejected like satorus shoulders slump and he puts on such a babyish pout…… and sugus just nodding and smiling along (he’s trying not to start screaming and crying on the floor) or maybe someone comes up to you and asks for your number before noticing suguru with his arm wrapped around your waist and satoru who’s got his arm around your shoulders and is looking at you like you hung the stars with your bare hands n the person is like “oh sorry I didn’t notice you guys are dating!!!” But reader is just like “huh?? No we’re not dating u can have my number!!” LMFAOOO I CAN SEE SATORU PULLING THIS FACE

They’re so funny I actually cannotttt 😭😭😭 another thing that’s been on my mind is that if sugu didn’t leave and stsg + reader sorted out their feelings for each other, they could all be teen parents to little Megumi ☹️☹️ satoru gets some money from his rich aah family (cause no way they aren’t rich cmon he was spoiled as a kid) and buys a nice apartment for you all, maybe somewhere by the sea… firm believer that suguru is the mother of all time like. He absolutely makes pancakes with syrup and blueberries and whatever else for u all in the morning……. U guys wake up early in the morning sometimes when it’s still a little dark with Megumi in his tiny little raincoat and take him out for walks by the beach….. collecting pretty rocks and seashells….. megumis dogs swimming in the ocean and satoru skipping stones while sugu reminds him not to go too close incase the tide comes in unexpectedly and he gets his shoes soaked…… I gotta stop myself now or else I’ll go on the lengthiest sugu rant you’ve ever seen but. You get the idea. Sugu being a caretaker mommy for one actual baby and one baby that’s actually a tall pouty bastard that’s so insufferably charming <//333 and you ofc!!! (His favourite baby) (joke he adores you all equally) (even if he lovingly pretends satoru is his least favourite)

HAAHHAAAAA I SERIOUSLY CANT STOP THINKING AB THEM I NEED HELP 😭😭😭 AS ALWAYS I HOPE UR DOING ALRIGHT N TAKING CARE OF URSELF!!! AND ARIIIII the merman sugu asks you’ve been getting have actually been making me laugh my ass off everytimeeeee 😭😭 sugu flopping around like a seal and hating all humans except reader is so fucking funny to me like he’s just straight up dissing the human race but just looks you dead in the eyes and says “but you’re one of the good ones” GOODBYEEEEE 💀💀💀 ANYWAYS HOW HAVE U BEEN???? UP TO ANYTHING INTERESTING??? :3 🎤🎤🎤🎤🎤 gives u a flower + pancakes (sugu made them) u deserve it mwah mwah hope ur ok <333 🌷🥞

OLLIEEEEEE IT’S ALWAYS GREAT TO SEE U IN MY INBOX DW !!! we are yapping together 🫂🫂

PHDJDGDHDH THIS CONCEPT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME I HOPE U KNOW THAT 😭😭…. aroace!reader makes us all insane god bless. u are so REAL for mentioning the comedic potential bc it’s literally so beautiful….. i think i’m biased towards this option:

reader who’s pretty much romance averse with satosugu (secretly) being their exception… like maybe shoko and utahime end up talking about their love lives and ask reader about THEIR love life and reader just deadpans “oh I don’t do romance. Doesn’t interest me” and satosugu (particular toru) are just like “….🙁ok but but but but but but-“

IT’S JUST SOOOO FUNNY AND SWEET…. but i think stsg would also be so smug abt being reader’s exceptions 😭😭 losers. lovesick fools. utahime is just like… don’t you and those idiots have a thing 🤨🤨 and reader just goes well yeah but that’s different. they’re satoru and suguru. <- as if it’s just the most obvious thing in the world and stsg are sitting there all quiet and smug….. mentally squealing……… idk i just lovelovelove the idea of reader being very blunt with their emotions because they just don’t view romance in the same way others would and it flusters stsg Every Single Time. they used to always daydream abt being teasing bfs and making them flustered by acting all lovey-dovey but as it turns out they’re the ones who keep getting caught off guard by reader….

this is rlly just a random thought but. i’m just imagining them in the future, living together, not necessarily labelled in any way but they very much Love each other… suguru is smoking by the balcony late at night (he’s planning on quitting bc he doesn’t want to worry his babies <3) while satoru & reader are keeping him company… and reader just casually mentions that they want to live with stsg forever. that they’re happiest like that and don’t ever want it to end. and they’re just bluntly telling the truth but suguru and satoru are genuinely Losing It bc????? did we just get proposed to ????????? satoru is oddly quiet bc he’s trying to stop himself from blushing and suguru just clears his throat and tells reader that they feel the same way ….. but he’s not nearly as suave as usual bc he is in fact getting choked up LMAOO i love them sm they’re so silly ….. T—T

ok but back to ur lovely thoughts !!!! the idea of aroace!reader being oblivious is also rlly charming to me 😭😭 SATORU MAKING THAT FACE LMAO HE SOOO WOULD ……. i picture suguru just kinda twitching lol like he’s trying sooo hard to keep it together but a part of him kinda wants to kiss reader all over their pretty face so that they get the message. (jokes on him bc reader would somehow still assume that it was just … platonic kissing … just kissing the homies goodnight …..) sigh. it’s tough out here for stsg BUT i think they’d also be really endeared by it …… their oblivious lil reader….

AND WAHHHHH LIL BABY GUMI 🥺🥺🥺🥺 OLLIEEEE YOU’RE KILLING ME a nice house by the sea…….. taking walks by the beach…… and . mommy sugu ..,, our lord and saviour ……. makes u breakfast every morning and wakes u up by kissing u :(((( lets u cling to him while he cooks .. sighhhh. sigh sigh sigh. being a househusband could’ve fixed him idc 😔😔

Sugu being a caretaker mommy for one actual baby and one baby that’s actually a tall pouty bastard that’s so insufferably charming <//333 and you ofc!!! (His favourite baby) (joke he adores you all equally) (even if he lovingly pretends satoru is his least favourite)

AND THISSSS PLS u know the way to my heart….. caretaker mommy sugu 🥺🥺🥺 he would thrive off taking care of his babies like truly. he’s the Mother ever. and now he has one lil baby to Actually Mother and two overgrown babies to coddle and tease…… his dream life tbh. now i’m just imagining reader, toru & gumi waking sugu up on mother’s day to celebrate LMAOO they made a cake and everything….. he’s exasperated but secretly very touched :’3 maybe tears up a lil later when he’s looking at the world’s best mommy <3 cup u guys bought him LOL he’s such a sap …..

AND ARIIIII the merman sugu asks you’ve been getting have actually been making me laugh my ass off everytimeeeee 😭😭 sugu flopping around like a seal and hating all humans except reader is so fucking funny to me like he’s just straight up dissing the human race but just looks you dead in the eyes and says “but you’re one of the good ones” GOODBYEEEEE 💀💀💀

PHDJDJJD NO BECAUSE SAMEEEE i still have a couple more mer!sugu asks to get to actually… they’re all so great…… my anons have converted me fully into a mer!sugu stan and now i can’t stop thinking abt him 😭😭 HE’S SOOOO FUNNY U GET IT COMPLETELY LIKE …. he’s just a grumpy little seal man ……. ”you’re one of the good ones” NO BC LITERALLY!! THAT’S HOW HE FEELS…… reader is his emotional support human <33 he doesn’t like anyone else and WILL consider drowning anyone who gives them trouble but then reader gives him a Look and he’s like. sigh. 😒😒😒 you’re no fun. <-… he’s insane actually BUT WE LOVE HIM <33333 silly lil fishy !!

WAHHH URE SO SWEET OLLIE 😭😭🥺🥺 thank u for the flowers and sugu’s pancakes…….. i am munching on them gratefully…… here are some nice sunflowers 🌻🌻🌻 and croissants 🥐🥐🥐 for u <333 I’M DOING WELLL trying to catch up on asks + cooking up a lil sashisu/reader thingie.. 👀👀 i haven’t been able to post fics as regularly bc of uni but hopefully i can get it out by next weekend :33 and thennnn i think i’ll focus on mer!sugu…

ANYWAY WHAT ABT U ???? how have u been ?? tell me tell me 🎤🎤…… i hope it’s sunny wherever u are, here it’s still cold n gray T—T but spring will be with us soon … stay strong …….

[dainangel]

sickening love.

park jisung x f!reader

::: he lost you. through everything.

[angst]

🎵: WILDFLOWER, billie eilish

_______________________________

what did he do? how did he lose you? what do you do? where did this go wrong?

it was saturday afternoon, sitting in jisung’s apartment. you sigh, your legs sprawled out on the couch. you could hear rain drops dripping down the window sills, plopping with every fall. youre bundled up in jisung’s hoodie, waiting for him to come home.

suddenly, you hear a ring at the door. you jump up in excitement, running to the door. opening it, you find a wet haired jisung facing you. “you’re home!!!!!” you shriek excitingly. he brings you into a quick hug, and walks to the living room without a word.

———-

both of you were on your phones for a while, until you hear the doorbell ring again. “ill get it,” jisung grunts, standing up and stretching his back. when he opens the door, youre shocked to see his members at the door. he’s talked about them before, but never wanted you to meet them. they actually didnt even know of your existence. odd, i know.

jisung is frozen, face going pale then pink from embarrassment . he shoves them all back out the door, even haechan who was beginning to take of hiss soggy converse. you can hear them arguing and grunting and questioning jisung. your face quickly turns into a frown. “why did you push them out? i wanted to meet them.” you say frustratingly.

jisung pauses for a moment. “they cant see you.” you take in what he said, then blankly stare at him. you havent even met his parents, or cousins. but, hes met all of your family members. “are you implying that youre embarrassed of me? or what, there’s another side piece?” you say jokingly.

he stares off into a corner, looking at the plant on the floor near the door. no response. you ask again, with more force in your voice. still no response. you scoff saying, “so there is another girl.” you stand firmly, collecting your phone and shoulder-bag. grabbing your car keys and walking to the door aggressively, you look at jisung dead in the eye. a long silence washes over you two, and the rain drops still dripping down, sliding down the glass pane.

“JISUNG! ANSWER ME!” you shout with frustration. he finally turns his head, looking scared and ashamed. your breath hitches, and you can feel your vision getting blurry. soon enough, you can taste your salty tears and your nose getting pink and stuffy. jisung doesnt even care. he doesnt budge. he just looks at you with regret, his eyes beginning to water, too.

“jisung…” you grab his shoulders, digging your fingers into his sweater. “jisung… please…” you begin to cry softly clinging onto his sweater. “do you really not love me anymore? why did you do this? why didn’t you tell me?” you hiccup. you lean your head onto his chest, his green sweater now being stained with wet patches of your tears.

this hurts jisung as much as its hurting you. he felt his heart breaking into pieces, now regretting the consequences of his actions. he never thought that you would be able to guess so quickly that he was seeing another girl, but here you were. he knew it was wrong, and knew he couldn’t have bottled the secret any longer. he grabs your hands gently, clawing them off his shoulders.

“y/n, i dont think is gonna work out. i cant pretend im still happy with us. i cant do this anymore,” he says flat out. you can feel your heart drop to your stomach. you stop crying for a moment, hearing the rain and the trees blowing in the wind. the window panels begin to shake from the gust.

big globs of tears roll down your face, still frozen in his hallway. he slowly and gently grabs your fingers, massaging them with his hands. you look at him, seeing that hes already crying. “i cant lie to myself like this anymore. i know it’s wrong to cheat and go behind your back, im sorry, but i can’t deal with us anymore, y/n.”

the rain stops for a moment. what does he mean? you pull your fingers away from his warm hands, and slide on your wool gloves. you walk over to the plant on the floor you got for him, on your guys’ one year anniversary mark. you picked it up, and threw it on the ground. glass broken, soil and dirt spilling everywhere on his carpet. the plant now showing its roots, laying sadly on the ground. he doesnt even flinch or move. just stands, and faces away.

“oh.. and this.” you take off his hoodie, throwing it on the pile of broken glass and wet dirt. “why dont you give it to that other girl, hm?” you scoff sourly. maybe you were being to mean. but, its been a year hasnt it? why didnt he tell you sooner? how long was he seeing the other girl for? when did he stop loving you? did he ever love you?

you pick up your bag and items again, and slide on your wet rainboots. he still has his hands up, watching from behind as you sniffle once or twice.

opening the door, you see his members still waiting there. jeno and jaemin are sitting on the floor of the doorstep, playing video games. renjun, haechan, chenle, and mark were all standing. chenle is fawning over photos of daegal and renjun just dozing off. they all pause what theyre doing, looking in front of them. you hear someone whisper, “who is she? that’s not jisung’s girlfriend..” you feel embarrassed and more angry, wiping your tears and pushing your way through the men, leaving jisung’s front door open.

mark opens the door a little, seeing jisung standing- slouched over, his back facing away from the members, holding the plant you smashed on the floor. mark slowly calls, “jisung? you good?” jaemin subtly gasps seeing the shattered glass and dirt spilled everywhere in the hallway. “oh no….” jeno says anxiously while biting his nails.

jisung turns his head around slowly, facing his band members. his eyes focused on the ground, tears rolling down his face- dropping onto the plant and floor. his eyes and nose red from crying so much. not even paying attention to them all staring at him worryingly, he looks at your car in his driveway. youre sitting in your car, wiping your tears and texting god knows who. you turn your keys, your car engine turning on.

as soon as you begin to pull out of his driveway, jisung’s breath hitches. “WAIT!!!” he yells. he tries to run outside still holding the sad plant now out of its pot. he slips once or twice in his hallway. he was barefoot, and didnt care if he stepped on wet soil or glass. he didnt want to lose you.

he dashes to your car— almost. renjun and jeno hold onto him, like a spider catching a fly in a web. “let me go!” he says. squirming and trying to rip off rejun and jeno’s hands off him. “please.. please!” he hollers. the rest of the members end up holding back jisung as well, making sure he doesnt run any further. now everyone was in the rain, holding back a now insane jisung.

haechan grunts, “jisung… calm down! im seriously gonna twist an ankle!” chenle also adds on with a pitied voice, “dude, she’s gone. whoever she is, she’s gone.” jisung breaks down, a whole river now flowing down from his eyes. his members have never seen him cry and get so emotional before. he begins to slide down to the floor, his knees hitting the cold and damp concrete floor. he clings onto mark, sobbing violently into his jacket. mark sighs, looking out seeing your bright rear-lights through the rain.

jisung yells into the rainy sky, clinging onto the plant, “what did i do?!”

————————————

i hope you enjoyed it :3

a reblog and like would be appreciated <3

[technicalknockout]

I wanted to reply to some of the stuff from my ask, but didn't know whether to reblog it or send it as an ask, I thought it might be easier this way?

silly straws page - i read in 'dipper and mabel's guide to mystery and nonstop fun' that bill likes silly straws and thought it was a silly random tidbit, imagine how surprised i was when i realized there was LORE behind it.. im still figuring out some codes bc i dont wanna look them up and im having so much fun !!

YEAH the silly staws page! I'm so mad that Bill said "I cut the page where I was gonna talk about Shermie Pines" stop teasing mee

I know there are some really cool codes on that page, I haven't decoded most of the book for myself yet but I intend to. There's another code on that page which is a super cool and fun one to decipher (though i've already seen what it says online but I want to replicate it myself). The one that starts with "215 858 117 450 110 628.." etc.

stanford trying to keep me from reading the book page - "you cant hear the disappointed sigh im making rn, but i assure you it's devastating" i mean he failed to stop me from reading the entire thing in one sitting but i was just very happy to see ford's cursive again. It was really funny seeing him trying to guess what the reader would be convinced by (i saw the moth picture and thought 'whats that called, a goth moth?' I laughed out loud when it turned out that was actually its name)

Sameee I got to that page and i was thinking "hiiii!". I loved his attempt to stop us from reading by showing his cool moth, and it was even better when Bill says something later on along the lines of "if he tries to show you his moth collection, throw yourself off a cliff"

Also the photo of him looks cool, but the context of it is so funny. I've seen some posts on tumblr about Ford dragging Stan into the woods and getting him to take a picture of him looking angry and mysterious. Why else does he have a photo like that. It's so silly.

urban legends page - as a long time fan of creepypasta the references in this page absolutely delighted me. Also the art is so realistically horrifying, whoever drew these i love you

YEAH that page and the Mirror Realm one and others look so cool. The new artists brought on to work on this book did a wonderful job. It fits in perfectly with Bill's weirdness.

the one true intelligence test - idk this page just made me laugh a lot

So freaking stupid i loved it so much. I think my favourite was the "divide this number in half" bit.

Entire anti-cipher society part - i love how instead of telling the story in just plain text, they made us follow the story with newspapers and journal pages. What was that called. I swear there was a name for that kind of storytelling if anyone knows pls pls tell me

That whole bit was so interesting. It was a really fun way of telling the story!

every page with ford and fiddleford - BEAUTIFUL. SUBLIME. BEST THING TO EVER EXIST IN THE WORLD. I HECKING LOVE FRIENDS BEING WHOLESOME TOGETHER AND I LOVE IT MORE WHEN THEYRE MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS FROM MY FAVORITE SHOW. THEY MAD SNOWMEN OF EACH OTHER THATS SO CUTE

Imma be honest i never really... cared for Fiddleford before. Like, I think the show is better with him in it, and I like that Ford had someone good in his life aside from Stan back in the past, but I didn't know enough about Fiddleford to care. Granted, I haven't reread Journal 3 in a while so I likely would have liked him more if I could remember what was said there, but the stuff presented in the lost Journal 3 pages here were such a treat and I understand now. I really really like him now.

Fiddleford and Ford were so wonderful together! Fiddleford was so, so nice to Ford. I'm never going to get over how Fidds made Ford TWO christmas presents, one which had multiple prototypes to get right, then forgot to get a present for his own wife. Stanford means so much to him it's crazy.

Then Ford decorating the portal room with pretty lights and played Fidds' favourite song and they made snowmen???? That's adorable omg.

And ik this is about the book, not the website, but the stuff on there as well, like the college photo and it describing how they met. AND THE AXOLOTL. Fidds getting one for Ford because it reminded him of him. And i don't think it was even a holiday of any kind. BILL WHEN I GET YOU-

"but my aim is getting better" - do i need to explain this one

I CHEERED at that bit. I showed it to my friend and they didn't get it. I forgot that they're a casual fan who's watched the show like, once, and not like me where Gravity Falls has just permanently taken up some space in my brain.

whatever this page is called;

I hated reading this (i loved reading this). i kinda got spoiled before i bought the book with an analysis post, had to literally put my phone down and think about what id just read. i think this page really puts bill and ford's relationship into perspective. ford's a person and bill's a multidimensional semi-god creature, bill will do and say anything in his power to get ford to do what he wants. this relationship cannot even begin to resemble normal. and also the forgetting your own name part horrified me, thats some good horror right there.. love it when books make me have a visceral reaction to tiny words on paper

I don't think I have anything extra to add I agree completely. I just love how much of a threat it shows Bill as. I think it works especially well because most of the book has been Silly Bill Shenanigans, you kinda forget what he's capable of. Brilliant stuff. i hated it.

call transcript from the police - OH the LORE and CHARACTER ANALYSIS FOOD RIGHT HERE. i could talk for hours about how bill straight up sucks at relationships and he's SO unwilling to admit he was upset about falling out with ford that he's lying to himself MULTIPLE TIMES OVER AND OVER and how a lack of genuine connection with people is eating him up - but if i talked about all that this post would spiral into insanity real quick. Also drunk bill talking into the phone was very very sad and very very on character and i could hear hirsch's bill voice inside my head it was really good aghjgnkhhh

LITERALLY YEA. And that kinda links up with the end of the book, where Bill is convinced someone will free him at some point. But he has no positive connections. He has no one that cares about him. And he did that all himself. Please, anytime, i will listen to your rambles. (just might not respond to it straight away but I WILL)

stan's page - I ALMOST CRIED AND I KNOW THATS KIND OF A WEIRD REACTION BUT I SAW THE STAN PAGE IN THISISNOTAWEBSITEDOTCOM OKAY AND IT WAS MAKING ME VERY UNWELL I WAS EXTREMELY RELIEVED TO JUST HEAR THIS MAN SO HAPPY AGAIN STANLEY PINES I LOVE YOU YOU DESERVE EVERYTHING

The messages from Dipper, Mabel and Stan were so lovely to see at the end. Stan is so happy now, and I'm happy for him. And it's just all really funny. "I only met him once and he cried like a baby then I punched him to death." Yeah that is basically what happened.

AH GOD YOU REPLIED TO EVERYTHING ????? THAMK YOU

YEAH the silly staws page! I'm so mad that Bill said "I cut the page where I was gonna talk about Shermie Pines" stop teasing mee

>:( he knows us too well he knows we'd give anything for more info about shermie...

I know there are some really cool codes on that page, I haven't decoded most of the book for myself yet but I intend to. There's another code on that page which is a super cool and fun one to decipher (though i've already seen what it says online but I want to replicate it myself). The one that starts with "215 858 117 450 110 628.." etc.

Ive been stuck on the numbers one, im gonna give it one more try today but i think it's gonna take a brain bigger than mine jfbsjdkskfs im STEAMING aleeeeex why are you making this so hard for me/silly

Sameee I got to that page and i was thinking "hiiii!". I loved his attempt to stop us from reading by showing his cool moth, and it was even better when Bill says something later on along the lines of "if he tries to show you his moth collection, throw yourself off a cliff"

does that imply ford tried to show bill his moth collection at some point ????? imagine jdbshfjsnf

Also the photo of him looks cool, but the context of it is so funny. I've seen some posts on tumblr about Ford dragging Stan into the woods and getting him to take a picture of him looking angry and mysterious. Why else does he have a photo like that. It's so silly.

I WHEEZED WHILE READING THIS ID NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT THAT??? but like. it's definitely on character i fully believe it happened. i mean this man backflips out of windows why not hnskdkdshd thanks for putting that image in my head

YEAH that page and the Mirror Realm one and others look so cool. The new artists brought on to work on this book did a wonderful job. It fits in perfectly with Bill's weirdness.

YEE!!!!! I think they were allowed to take more creative liberty than in the actual show, being a book and all, and i think thats really cool.

Imma be honest i never really... cared for Fiddleford before. Like, I think the show is better with him in it, and I like that Ford had someone good in his life aside from Stan back in the past, but I didn't know enough about Fiddleford to care. Granted, I haven't reread Journal 3 in a while so I likely would have liked him more if I could remember what was said there, but the stuff presented in the lost Journal 3 pages here were such a treat and I understand now. I really really like him now.

WELCOME TO THE FIDDLEFORD FANCLUB MY FRIEND. ive been a fan of him since the legend of the gobblewonker tbh.. i tend to latch onto very random silly side characters that fill the specifically shaped holes in my brain. Loved him more when i found out he had lore, love him even more after reading the book. Yay fiddleford 🎊

Fiddleford and Ford were so wonderful together! Fiddleford was so, so nice to Ford. I'm never going to get over how Fidds made Ford TWO christmas presents, one which had multiple prototypes to get right, then forgot to get a present for his own wife. Stanford means so much to him it's crazy. / Then Ford decorating the portal room with pretty lights and played Fidds' favourite song and they made snowmen???? That's adorable omg. / And ik this is about the book, not the website, but the stuff on there as well, like the college photo and it describing how they met. AND THE AXOLOTL. Fidds getting one for Ford because it reminded him of him. And i don't think it was even a holiday of any kind. BILL WHEN I GET YOU-

i swear these two are absolutely adorable and that is an objective fact i will not take criticism. the page where ford was rummaging thru fiddleford's desk and found the glove prototypes broke me.

and also yeah the college photo ! i mean like. augh. how do i put this. theyre so friends. ford believed fiddleford was right even tho they barely knew each other and worked together and came up with an entire theory. idk it's so wholesome. AND FRILLIAM !!!!! FIDDLEFORD GOT FORD A LITTLE GUY AND FORD NAMED HIM FRILLIAM AND I AM GOING TO PERSONALLY SPRAY HAND SANITIZER IN BILL'S EYE FOR RUINING THIS. these two are dear to my heart im so so frickin glad they made up and are somewhat keeping in touch now..

I CHEERED at that bit. I showed it to my friend and they didn't get it. I forgot that they're a casual fan who's watched the show like, once, and not like me where Gravity Falls has just permanently taken up some space in my brain.

I KNOW THE PAIN SO SO WELL NO ONE AROUND ME EVEN KNOWS THIS BOOK EXISTS. ILL CHEER WITH YOU WHO CARES IF WE'RE NOT ON THE SAME CONTINENT. FORD MY GUY SLAYYYYYY🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊👏👏🎊🎉🎉👏👏👏

I don't think I have anything extra to add I agree completely. I just love how much of a threat it shows Bill as. I think it works especially well because most of the book has been Silly Bill Shenanigans, you kinda forget what he's capable of. Brilliant stuff. i hated it.

exactly.. bill is a Scary Silly Guy™️ thank you tbob for reminding us. it was very on character and we appreciate it a lot. but like did you HAVE to make ford suffer for it :'(

LITERALLY YEA. And that kinda links up with the end of the book, where Bill is convinced someone will free him at some point. But he has no positive connections. He has no one that cares about him. And he did that all himself. Please, anytime, i will listen to your rambles. (just might not respond to it straight away but I WILL)

Guy had it comin for him tbh. rest in therapieces bill ciphor reincarnate as a vole (also YOU WANT TO HEAR MY RAMBLES🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺???? dont mind me if i raid your asks sometime. or discord dms. whichever you prefer !)

The messages from Dipper, Mabel and Stan were so lovely to see at the end. Stan is so happy now, and I'm happy for him. And it's just all really funny. "I only met him once and he cried like a baby then I punched him to death." Yeah that is basically what happened.

JASIDNFJSNFKSS PRETTY ACCURATE ID SAY. Stanford pines you are absolutely awesome take my money

[noangeleither]

"About the Blogger" Meme

Thanks for tag @bioloyg <3

Star Sign(s): Scorpio Sun (I literally never remember my other ones, I should probably memorize them)

Favorite Holidays: Christmas and Halloween. even tho i find it harder to feel the holiday spirit up until the very last minute i love christmas so much. and not even to be corny but its true that when you grow up you start to care less about the presents and more about the memories with family and friends.

i grew up in a religous family so my parents didnt let me celebrate halloween but i still love it with my whole heart. im a november baby so i love fall and all things eerie and spooky.

Last Meal: McDonalad's snack wrap and one of those new fruit splash drinks. its exam season so ofc im eating like shit. will probably eat some ice cream when i get home after my physiology exam in 30 minutes. so yay to junk food

Current Favorite Musician: currently ive been really enjoying pinkpantheress. her new album is literally 10/10. she has such a knack for melodies, and her lyrics are very eerie and poetic while maintaining a cutesy 2000s vibe. shes also a sampling queen.

honoarble mentions: ive been listening to a lot of janet, rosalia and red velvet these days too.

Last Music Listened To: feedback by janet Jackson. bro istg you have to clear the area when this comes on, i cant help but dance

Last Movie Watched: last movie i watched was bride wars. honestly a classic movie, so funny and i love wedding movies so i reccomend it. that was a month ago tho, which is crazy.

Last TV Show Watched: like the wonderful person who tagged me i watched the bear last. i just rewatched s02e01. ive been doing this thing where i'll either rewatch episodes for research, boredom or just because i get sucked in rewatching a specific clip that makes me want to rewatch the whole episode.

Last Book/Fic Finished: last fic i finished was keeping up with the berzattos by chefskiss40 on ao3. ive reread it like 3 or 4 times now and im patiently waiting for an update. its just so good, i love the domestic vibes. im not a fan of seeing my ships start families in canon but in fic? oh i could read that forever

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: not really abandoned but sorta modified? the sydcarmy high school au i started in the summer was a good concept but i didnt really have a concrete idea where the overall story would go. BUT im planning on maybe doing a series which is just a collection of one shots of them in HS? OR i plan on doing a multi-chapter shorter story that is an AU that also takes place in a high school setting but with a twist that i dont want to reveal bc that would mean i would have to commit to it. lol

Currently Reading: nothing. unless you count all these articles/research papers I've been reading for my health research studies course (think i aced the exam yesterday so maybe all the pain was worth it)

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: doesnt really count as research but basically i was on pinterest creating boards for 3 different fics. was researching wedding dresses for a nat & syd fic where they go wedding dress shopping (will be finishing after my last exam). also just creating two other boards to inspire myself to start the au i teased above and my bones and all AU/retelling i talked about last month. i want to watch some more cannibalism media and maybe research about 80s pop culture and politics before i dive into that one fully.

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: ummmm probably just being a menace on twitter with my friends that i made through being a reveluv. we talk every single day, and they are some of the best people i know. maybe the times we used to get up early or stay up late for comeback season, watch the kcharts being updated hourly and crack jokes about group we liked and didnt like

Favorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: technically THG is having a resurgence right now but im way too into the bear to really get back into it and also i havent seen the new movie. im excited to once exam season is done but i feel like the hype is already dying so i dont see myself getting too into it.

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: uhhhh cant think of one tbh.

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: honestly every sydcarmy fic idea i have that would take multi chapters to flesh out. one shots are very safe for me. but im praying i'll commit to it. esp the bones and all AU lol

this was fun

tagging some ppl to do this too, only if you want!

@amieraisposting @chefkids @sennenrose @sydneys-adamu @sydneyscarm @happylikeasadsong @chansoooo1-blog

[reflections-in-a-critical-eye]

Girl, im in the same boat as you. After the pandemic, things are finally starting to pick up pace for me and I began this year busier than ever. My twitter account was starting to collect dust and spiderwebs, and I said ok, perhaps this is it. It may be time for me to find a different hyper fixation or a new hobby. But these bitches saw me walking out the door and pulled me back in. See? Now this is why I got into kpop. It takes so little to make a woman's heart soften, and yet most days I had to sit through the most unhinged and boring drama ever. Listen, I just wanna be entertained, is that too much to ask?

Well, today it looks like my prayers have been answered. I woke up to some delicious baemin content. Loved that they showed us a little bit of the rehearsal, and have you seen how jimin talks to his hyung? I don't know how taeyang deals with the urge to pick him up and take him home. He's so strong and brave 🫡 then we finally got the live jimin has been promising since last year and i cant believe he keeps getting prettier and cuter every time i see him. How can a grown ass man be that cute and lovely? And he keeps talking about how much he's working and all the things he's preparing... honestly I'm trying not to get my hopes up, but really when it comes to jimin i cant help but get excited. And then, jk's weird ass back at it again! which i was especially glad for because I missed his live yesterday AND with the addition of jimin's comments?? he really got me feeling things ngl I was giggling and kicking my feet, I can't say I wouldn't pay them money just to see jimin tie jungkook's hair. I'm just a girl you know...

So yeah, just like that, I missed a good chunk of my morning looking for translations and staring at my phone like a dumbass. Maybe some other day i will find a more productive way to waste my time, but for now it looks like I'll stick around 😮‍💨

Girl!

We're having almost the same experience 👀

In my case, I don't need another hyper fixation or anything. I've had enough of such intensities since 2020, but as you said, mostly it's just witnessing mindless drama and the usual bullshit. And on top of that, in terms of the music and other content, what is there left for now? I've been through almost everything BTS. I'm not gonna write about the same thing until I get grey hair. Which means I'm left with paying attention to the solo projects. And since life's too short for me to spend time writing or watching what people do, especially if I don't care much about them, I'm left with the biases. Jungkook is on a break (those saying he's not getting work because the company doesn't offer him opportunities are simply demented) and the only one left is Jimin. And his solo work is starting to pick up and it's really the only relevant thing right now for me.

The problem is that it's become a habit. Keeping up to date through social media, which means that as much as I try to avoid it, I still have to see things and people against my own will and I'm too far into this thing and in my life in order to pretend that I still want to pay attention and write about it. I mean, lately I've made my position even clearer than it was before because it just doesn't matter at the end of the day. I'm in a speeding train caught on fire and at some point I will have to jump. Because I know what awaits me out there. Instead of reading and debating daily fandom bullshit, I can dedicate more of my time to watching films and pick up my dusty books from the library, knowing that there's no way I can be as disappointed as I feel after 2 hours in bts/fandom spaces. I need that dose in order to remind myself that there are things that bring me joy and I don't have to witness stupid people writing nonsense on twitter.

I also have fun here, with its ups and downs. But there's the risk of becoming repetitive and that's the death of passion. No thank you.

And then there's days like this in which it's fun again, starting with that performance rehearsal and ending it so nicely. I missed it. Like you said, I want to be entertained. That's all. And that includes everything, from frivolous aspects like watching JK eat chicken on a vlive, to a song release, a Fashion Week appearance or putting out a fascinating portfolio.

[essentiallykpopandbl]

I don't normally talk at lengths about kpop related things, especially on Tumblr, because I feel there are enough other fans in the world adding to the conversation. Yet, I am going to break that for a moment because I finally got around to watching RM's mv for Wild Flower that came out a few days ago. Do you know when you watch something and the meaning comes across loud and clear and it hits you and you just sit a little stunned but also a little sad. And you know you will never see that thing the same way again? Well that happened this morning. I have had Wild Flower on repeat since it came out but due to my lack of fluency in korean, all I could go off of was a few words I picked up, the vibe, feeling, and emotion of the song. I had a feeling RM was singing about his struggles with his life in BTS. But oh boy did was I so unprepared.

"When everything I believed in grew distant.

When all this fame turned into shackles.

Please take my desire away from me.

No matter what it takes.

Oh let me be myself"

That part almost broke me. I can't imagine what it is like to be in his position. Leader of arguably the best known K-pop group. Often the voice of an entire industry due to the position his group is in. The pressure to be what his members, company, industry, and country needs him to be. He is RM of BTS. And I know he has talked about this before but he is also Kim Namjoon. A boy who fell in love with music with no idea what he will become. And I am worried it is what he has become that will one day break him. But it's his second verse that made me want to write this.

"Where's my end finally gonna be?

Everything's so exhausting from A to Z

When's this wretched mask finally gonna come off?

Yeah, me no hero, me no villian

I'm barely anything

Idling repeats, memories turning vicious

Lying in a field, I set my sights on the skies

Now, I can't remember what I wanted so badly

I trusted I was happy, now a mere memory

Yeah I been going, no matter what's in front

No matter what it may be

Memories of holding onto dawn's edge and spitting things out

Society's all for the loudest voice

And here I am, still speaking silence

It's an aside, a boat in full bloom

To face all the prejudice and misunderstandings

I dont care much for being tossed into the air

Grounded on my own two feet

Amongst the flowers without names

I can't go to the stars again, I cant

Underfoot I just go

To a destination without a purpose

Not even knowing my own sadness

Even making friends with the shadows

I be gone"

You can feel his heart as he is rapping this verse. The sadness and fear he has at losing himself. I think as fans, we often forget what some people give up when they reach that level of fame. But on the flip side, no one truly knows what it means to be RM of BTS. Even the other members, RM's biggest support system, dont know that feeling. They know what it means to be a member of BTS, but to be the voice that RM is always expected to be? They don't know that. But when RM talks.... is it his voice? Or is it the collective voice of the other members and the industry he is representing? Does he answer based on what he thinks is expected of him? And if so, does that cause him to have even less of a voice? At what point does the need to speak for others suffocate someone.

I find it interesting that he brought up the shadows, because SUGA also raps about the shadows often. How they grow and can overtake everything when the light on them becomes too strong. I find it terrifying the thought of it being easier to be swallowed, or friends, with those shadows then to keep looking at the light. But when the light is blinding and the stars are scary, maybe the darkness is comforting.

While the song is sad it is also hopeful. When he talks about burning fireworks to flowerworks, it feels very reminiscent of the Phoenix. Something that rises from the ashes and comes back more beautiful. I think RM is battling those demons and what is threatening to burn him down but I believe what comes out of it is that much better. And I hope that is what we are seeing through this song. That RM is finding a way to be Kim Namjoon. That the world has not taken everything from him in their expectations of who he is. That somewhere, Kim Namjoon is finding his own voice. And that voice will be just as loud and beautiful as RM's is. Because I have a feeling Kim Namjoon has very interesting things to say.

[nerves-nebula]

Same thing happened to me. Different circumstances, but yeah it is super painful. My mom didn't tell me what I period was until I got it for the first time, and I wasn't even with her. I was at my grandmother's house and had to learn what they were from her, my mom only explained it to me after.

She also hasn't taught me hygiene either. I know the basics of course, the really obvious ones that are easy to do. Anything else? Hell if I know. I don't even know how to properly wash my hair, I have dandruff constantly. She complains about it, but she sure as hell isn't gonna teach me how.

Anyways, I wanted to write this to tell you that you aren't alone. This shit is incredibly common, for whatever reason. It sucks, but my advice is to just try. Focus on the now, and just try your best. Tacky advice, I know, but Focusing on the now will get you to the future. And that way you can prepare yourself for it, and actually know how to do it.

(You don't have to answer this ask, I just wanted to send some words of encouragement :D)

thank you, it feels really nice when people offer their stories unprompted like this <3

my mom taught us the basics too, by which I mean she TOLD them to us and barely ever enforced them. I've gotten better at showering regularly (probably still less than most people though) but I cant fuckin STAND brushing my teeth. it makes my mouth feel sooo gross and i never got into the habit of it so it's still difficult.

I used to have HORRIBLE dandruff too, and it itched so bad that I would scab my head all over scratching at it. turns out I have seborrheic dermatitis (diagnosed via tumblr user saying I might have it, and then a nurse confirming it lmao) and now I use a medical anti-dandruff shampoo from like. walgreens or something! I think its called selsun blue or something, so idk maybe that'll help?

ALSO FUCKING. I HAVE SO MANY ISSUES WITH HAIR. so im mixed and my mom has straight hair cause shes very white. so i am FUCKED cause god knows she wont learn to do black hair. but my hair isnt as tightly curled as my other siblings either, so im kind of just left floundering cause idk what kind of hair i even HAVE so how do i figure out how to take care of it??? all i know is that shampoo goes before conditioner ;O;

ANYWAY yeah you're advice here is actually pretty solid. unfortunately the truth is that when it comes to hygiene, you just have to try to do it consistently.

one thing that helps me take showers (and this is advice i got from ppl with ADHD, which i might also have idk) is to either set a timer or just don't. think.

if i think too much I'll never take a shower cuz i'll be thinking about how hard it is and how long it will take.

but if I think "i should shower" and just ride that thought out then I can collect all my things (towel, bodywash, etc) and go to the shower before I have the chance to change my mind.

my hygiene is still probably "gross" to most people but I've improved a lot so i'm proud of myself.

sorry for the ramble hah, I appreciate the encouragement <3

[mejomonster]

Not to shame them because I think it's hilarious as all fuck, but it sure is peculiar how the Two of them like to swing between caretaker/brat and flirting competition. It's like they just slide to the other one when a fight in the initial one isn't going the way they want. Fei Du becoming a love option didn't actually stop the fighting it just made it even more awkward. It's a little hilarious it is. It's also a bit of why they have this Really particular relationship flavor. They're not lovers yet, but they're SO fucking emotionally close it's absurd. They're almost lovers but they are SO emotionally close it's a Huge Shift to just flip into casual flirtations when you both have each other's lives memorized already and have embarrassed yourselves worse in front of each other than anyone else.

The way it goes from Luo Wenzhou admiting he knows fei du is investigating and has for years, to Fei Du using the excuse of flirtation to block the sudden exposure about his actions, to needing to attack using the Luo-as-caretaker angle insisting Luo Wenzhou even checked his grades growing up. In the span of 1 minute they covered "suspicious of each other" almost opponents, sexual pursuit, and caretaking familial level intimacy. And that's just... them all the time. (It reminds me of Word of Honor throwing in the shidi dynamic except this one is in the novel itself and baked through into everything, meanwhile the investigating opponents reminds me of Death Note and Beyond Evil and Flower of Evil and I love that).

I'm screaming rhis is so good!!!! Luo Wenzhou saying first I'm hot, second don't hit on me til you drink your milk (again combining that parental Do What I Say shit with their Antagonistic opponent shit - you aren't UP for my level to win me - combined with I am a FINE catch of a man you Should want me). Like ALL their interactions reside in this grey zone of all 3 and its wild! It's interesting! It's a dynamic I just cannot get in another novel. I simply cannot go out and find 4 other stories that fulfill this particular relationship dynamic. It's fascinating to watch!

And lmao Fei Du that competitive opponent (wants TO WIN LUO WENZHOU so he can Be Good Enough/better than him), combines with the romantic intrigue (he can challenge me ohoho I like a challenge), and the caretaker/brat dynamic of (he said I CANT pursue him and to take care of myself well FUCK HIM I'm GOING TO FUCK HIM IM GONNA MAKE HIM EAT HIS WORDS WHILE I XXX). FEI DU you LITERALLY ARE JUMPING OFF THIS CLIFF YOURSELF. In a year when you're in a steady relationship with Luo "bastard" wenzhou cuddled up in bed just you remember you DECIDED to go and flirt some more. That you wanted to sleep with him and make him fall for you. That you got a warning and were still like FUCK WHAT THE OLD MAN SAYS I CAN TOO SEDUCE HIM IM GONNA MAKE HIM MINE. Then fei du sitting a year later in bed blinking dully: I sure did... make him mine... fuck I'm never gonna live it down I'm a SAP

Quote:

“Stop talking nonsense. When your dad had his accident, you were still in school, though your studies were sloppy and brainless enough—why weren’t you willing to trust that ‘reliable’ team then, sit back and collect your annual dividends like a well-behaved shareholder?”

Fei Du looked up and met Luo Wenzhou’s eyes in the rearview mirror; his gaze was deep, with a frank and familiar severity.

“You didn’t take on your dad’s company for the money. You were investigating him,” Luo Wenzhou said positively. “According to this inference, you applying to Yan Security Uni now has the same aim. What is it for— or rather, who is it for?”

“Maybe it’s to hit on you?” Fei Du said without turning a hair. “Perhaps my taste has suddenly changed, and I’ve started to salivate for Captain Luo’s type of…hm…deadly serious dark horse charm?”

Not a single straightforward word ever came out of this bastard’s mouth; it was all circles and obfuscation.

He narrowed his eyes, his gaze sweeping invasively over Luo Wenzhou’s straight nose bridge and slightly sharp lips, seeming ready to kiss him at any moment. With a trace of a nasal drawl, he gently asked, “How do you know my studies were sloppy, Captain Luo? Aside from secretly sending gifts, were you also concerned about my report cards?”

Luo Wenzhou: “…”

He let a breath out through his nose, unlocked the car, and under the attentive, ambiguous gaze of this bit of goods, without any warning, he reached out and grabbed the collar of President Fei’s thoughtfully arranged shirt, spoiling his large-tailed wolf’s posture.

“First,” Luo Wenzhou said sternly, “my good looks have always received wide social approval from the masses. They belong to a classic, timeless style of male beauty. If you think that I’m a dark horse, that only goes to show that you haven’t studied enough and are ignorant and ill-informed.

“Second.” His gaze swept over Fei Du’s arm in its cast, looking like the sight was a little too tragic to behold. “Darling, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen anyone bold enough to talk as big as you do. You want to hit on me in your condition? You’d be better off hitting the milk and building up some calcium first, President Fei!”

Then he pointed to the car door and said to Fei Du, “Get out.”

President Fei had been invariably victorious in all forms of flirtation. Meeting for the first time with such a rude rebuff, he felt it was very novel. Shooed out of the car by Luo Wenzhou in his disabled state, he watched Luo Wenzhou’s back with a look that said he was itching to have a go; but for the moment he laid down his arms, closed his mouth, and followed him to the memorial hall.

[whorewithagodcomplex]

sweetheart,

i love ya, but I'm not doing that for the rest of my life, no sir,

everyone knows not to marry into that, and its kinda common sense not to date someone with your type of addiction and just walk away, like we all know its never gonna work if youre constantly making your partner feel like shit because youre always lusting of the things you so desperately want, and yeah you may say that 'your're better, real, youre my love theyre just pictures, theyre just videos, ect) but we all know you wish it was them you could have when your gazing longingly and thirstly at those pictures, you create relationships with all these women, i just happen to be in person version added to the collection, its nasty, and its horrible knowing this will likely never change, cause its 'not that bad' its 'a comfort thing' 'i was alone for so long' and i have to live feeling like im always competing with them, i cant escape them, im so fucking tired of being paranoid that the person i love is going to always be looking at something more appealing, its awful, that constant pit in your stomach everytime hes lookin at a female character a little too closely, or when the girls are everywhere for him, camera roll, most social media, even his wallpapers on all devices, sure theres a photo of you two, sure as a homescreen but its really just a sunset photo and we're hidden in a low corner hidden by apps, and the never paying that close attention to you, you learn as much as you can about him listen to every word he says but doesnt care to know about you, with the exception of major plot points he knows nothing about what you like and why you like it, its either you rarely get a chance to speak, or youre perpetually cut off, or just simply ignored when speaking about yourself, but, he knows everything they say, knows every little detail, their backstories are phenominal and look how hot they are, he wont really say that to you anymore youve shown you dislike, but you know, you always know, so you try your best to be pretty and good enough to be wanted like he wants them, but you never get wanted like that, to be fair you never did, this was the first time someone is showing they love you and want you, but of course if i wasnt wantable before him what makes me wantable now? yknow all his needs are met by them and his ablilty to do so much with them that he feels no need to pay any mind to you beyond the physical and guidance, yeah he loves you, you know that hes shown that, but is it worth the mental and emotional exhaustion it takes to fight for a normal relationship? one where we both feel happy? i know theres no way he isnt miserable too, the contant bickering the anxiety of fucking up, but c'mon man, if you cope properly, like by speaking (without lashing out) to someone when things are too much, not falling further into an obsessive chemical pick-me-up addiction and honestly this sex obsession, youd do so much better, but you wont because its one of them hidden addictions that no one but your friends and people youre close to know about, by your choice, and you think that means its totally fine, because I'll stick around regardless right? cause i have this long and im making life plans with you and i love you more than youll ever know and as long as i dont see it' or notice it its fine, it wont kill me, youll keep going until im about to cut my losses and you promise and youll try you really will, but itll creep back and we'll be back at square one, or youll get better at hiding it from me, youre already pretty good at it now, ill bet money that if i got 3 hours and all your passwords id find cia sized files everywhere and id puke and cry myself to sleep for months, and i know youll only get better at it, and i dont want to be paranoid that your girls are still around my whole life, what kind of example am i setting for my daughters if i just let myself live like that, god id kill my son-in-law if he made her feel like that, honestly id kill him for most of the things youve done, so why am i letting it happen to me???