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#career counselling courses online
graduatecoach · 1 month
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Bridging the gap between university and the workplace Graduate Coach program provides coaching, support and career advice to young students graduating from the engineering disciplines in Melbourne.
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higherstudyinindia · 11 months
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Looking for the best colleges in India & Education Consultants for career counselling in MBA, BBA, Engineering, Hotel Management, BSc Nursing, PhD & Medical Colleges.
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kalpavriksha-academy · 9 months
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Kalpavriksha Academy, a corporate skill development institute that provides you soft skills, technical skills, and leadership development programmes. Offers personalised counselling to assist you in identifying your interests, goals, and academic background. They also address areas of shortcomings/flaws, promote passions, and recognise potential. We intend to instruct millions of youngsters and assist them in India in choosing the appropriate professional path.
https://kalpavrikshaacademy.in/
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iiknoz · 1 year
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Storytelling: Dos and Don’t dos
Storytelling is a powerful tool that can be used to influence, educate, and inspire.  Read More: https://iikonz.com/storytelling-dos-and-dont-dos/
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𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐛𝐞 𝐚 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐞𝐫
You deserve the best of the best.
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Get ready for long-lasting success with a career counselling course by your side.
In just a few short weeks, you can be certified and ready to start your own career counselling business.
Learn how to be a successful career coach and help your students reach their goals faster.
Enroll in our course now! Learn from the best!
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avinashsahoo · 2 years
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There are many different options available to you, and it can be difficult to decide which path is right for you. That's where the best career counsellors in Mumbai after 10th can help. More at http://bit.ly/3Xl34sl
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fayes-fics · 2 months
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Textual Encounter
Pairing: Benedict Bridgerton x fem!reader, modern AU
Summary: Text fic. Wrong number meet-cute over text.
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Warnings: none... this is fluff and humour.
Word Count: 1.4k
Summary: Fic request fill for Anon (HERE). I kept it fun and fluffy, but yeah, I can see a sequel where they sext. Thanks to @colettebronte for the read-through. Enjoy! <3
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Y/N: Hey Liz, it’s y/n y/l/n. Kindle Spa gave me your mobile. Said you had moved to another salon. I don’t trust anyone else to wax me tbh. Big date this week, kwim 😉 Can I get an appt? I’ll come to you. Doesn’t matter where. 
BB: Errr, I think you have the wrong number…
Y/N: Not Liz?
BB: Nope, Ben here. 
Y/N: Not a waxer, I presume?
BB: I may have waxed lyrical in my time, may even have lit a few candles. Have not waxed anyone no - my own body or anyone else’s. Yet. But I’m game to try anything once...
Y/N: Lol.
BB: Big date, eh?
Y/N: ….Yeah. Not that it's any of your business, stranger Ben.
BB: Fair. BB: Does it hurt?
Y/N: ??
BB: Getting waxed.
Y/N: Oh. Yeah. Like a motherfucker. But you sorta get used to it, tbh. And it’s so much less itchy than shaving regrowth, especially in sensitive areas… Wait, why am I having this convo with a complete stranger?!
BB: We don’t have to be strangers. BB: I’m Ben, 33, London. BB: I have no strong opinions on hair removal methods.
Y/N: lol. K. I’m y/n, 28, also London. Y/N: I, as you can see, do have some opinions.
BB: Hi y/n 👋 BB: I hope you can find Liz. Or someone else to assist with your hair needs.
Y/N: I would like it stated, for the record, I’m not hairy like a troll. I just like to keep things neat.
BB: The lady doth protest too much…
Y/N: You are cheeky for a stranger.
BB: Hey, I thought we agreed. Not strangers. Me Ben. You hairy troll.
Y/N: BLOCK.
BB: Just typing it doesn't work, you know.
Y/N: You should work at the Apple Genius Bar.
BB: Hmm, possibly. I do look good in blue. Or so I've been told.
Y/N: Always glad to provide career counselling.
BB: 🫡
4 days later.
BB: How’d your date go?
Y/N: That's odd. I don’t see a Genius Bar appt in my calendar…?
BB: iCal is a lying bastard. BB: I also assume you now can move faster through water.
Y/N: ??
BB: Waxed smooth like a dolphin…?
Y/N: 😆 Y/N: Entirely none of your business, but yes, actually. Well mostly. I leave some. Why am I telling you this?! Y/N: The guy was such a dud tho, I didn't get to show it off 🙁
BB: Please don't stop on my account. This is just delightful.  BB: I apologise on behalf of all men.
Y/N: For what?
BB: Having 4 sisters, I find the safest answer here is usually… everything, of course.  BB: But specifically, your rubbish date.
Y/N: Apology conditionally accepted. Y/N: 4 sisters?! 
BB: Only conditional? What do I gots to do to make it unconditional? BB: Yeah, I know… I’ve got 3 brothers too. My parents were really into each other. 
Y/N: IDK, serve a mean martini? Y/N: Understatement.
BB: That could be arranged. I took an online mixology course during lockdown.  BB: My sister El declared I'm better than Stanley Tucci. Admittedly, that was after 4 espresso martinis… but I'm taking it. She's opinionated but the best one. They are a weird bunch tho 🤔
Y/N: WOAH WOAH WOAH. That's a bold claim.
BB: Well, there’s only one way to dispute it: try one for yourself…
Y/N: Smooth, Genius Bar, smooth.
BB: I do my best 🤷
1 day later.
Y/N: I can't get my AirPods to work.
BB: You do realise I didn’t actually follow your career advice?
Y/N: Urgh. Inconvenient. What use are you then?
BB: As I said. Cocktails. I’ll try my hand at waxing if you want.
Y/N: Best stick to the day job. Which is…?
BB: Graphic design.
Y/N: Oh, that’s quite cool. 
BB: It pays the bills. You?
Y/N: MI-5
BB: Wow, you're a shit spy.
Y/N: It could be an excellent double bluff…
BB:
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Y/N: Oh, we’ve graduated to memes now, have we, Genius Bar?
BB: It was called for.
Y/N: I’ll take it. Purely cos it's a Hemsworth.
BB: I would too, tbh.
Y/N: Bi?
BB: For a Hemsworth? Always.
Y/N: Anyone else?
BB: I’ll keep you posted.
Y/N: I'm on the edge of my seat.
3 days later.
BB: Oscar Issac.
Y/N: Good non sequitur evening to you, too, Genius Bar Ben.
BB: For the bi thing.
Y/N: Ahh. Got it. I can respect that.
BB: This is me, btw: www.instagram.com/benbridgerdesign.  BB: Figured you can decide for yourself if I'm a creeper.
Y/N: Appreciated.
3 minutes later.
Y/N: You paint?
BB: I dabble
Y/N: Modesty will only make me like you more.
BB: You like me?! 🥹
Y/N: You didn't mention you were handsome.
BB: There is no way to respond to that without me sounding like a twat.
BB: But thank you 😊
Y/N: This is me: www.instagram.com/ynhandle 
7 minutes later.
BB: Oh, Amalfi is so beautiful, isn't it?
Y/N: Wow. That's a deep cut. How far did you scroll back??
BB: 👀
Y/N: Yeah, it's beautiful. Shame it's tainted for me now. Was there with an ex.
BB: I saw. Very handsome.
Y/N: Are you sure you're not just into men full-stop?
BB: 🤷 BB: You’re very pretty, too.
Y/N: I’d believe it if you didn't mention my “very handsome” ex first…
BB: I call it like I see it. BB: I have had 4 whiskeys, tho, so make of that what you will.
Y/N: On a school night?!
BB: It’s my brother Ant's birthday. This is like non-optional drunk, I’ll have you know.
Y/N: Happy birthday to him. 
BB: He says thanks. He’s also told me to get off my fucking phone. Which is rich. He is texting his wife nonstop.
Y/N: Hah! Safe travels through Whiskeytown, BenBridger 🫡
BB: I kinda miss Genius Bar…. 😞
Y/N: I can't win…
2 days later.
BB: Settle an argument for me.
Y/N: 🍿
BB: Col, younger brother, never stops eating... He claims Katz Deli is overrated. I argue it's touristy but still good. You’ve been. Where do you sit on this matter?
Y/N: You really did go thru my Insta, didn't you?? Y/N: Thanks for the follow, BTW.
BB: It's a compliment, I assure you. BB: Welcome. And same.
Y/N: Not complaining. And yeah, I agree with you, actually.
BB: Hah! Excellent!!
Y/N: Wait… your older brother is Ant, and your younger brother is Col? You’re Ben. So, like ABC?
BB:  … I already warned you my family was weird.
Y/N: You did. You did.
BB: Now, please excuse me while I go gloat.
Y/N: 👍
5 mins later.
BB: Hi. This is Col. You must be the famous y/n. Ben’s in the bogs, and the mug left his phone on the table unlocked, so this is on him.  BB: He like really likes you. Like a lot. Will you go on a date with him pls? 
Y/N: Err, ok, hi Col. Y/N: Umm, I think Ben should be the one to ask me that. Don’t you?
BB: He’s too scared you’ll say no.
Y/N: I won't…
BB: EXCELLENT.
2 minutes later.
BB: I am so SO sorry about that 😬 He’s such a shit. BB: But… do you mean it?
Y/N: Ask me properly…
BB: Would you, y/n, like to go on a date with me? Please?
Y/N: I would be delighted to Ben. 😀
BB: 🙏 BB: Are you free on Thursday? Could I take you to dinner?
Y/N: Sounds wonderful. 
BB: 7pm? Meet at Picadilly Circus? By Brasserie Zedel?
Y/N: I’ll be there 😀
BB: 😀
10 days later.
BB: I think you should know… Liz is an artiste 😮‍💨
Y/N: Stop texting me from my bed, you dork. 😘 Y/N: How do you take your coffee?
BB: I'm like 10 meters away. Why not just ask me?
Y/N: You started this, Genius Bar…
BB: Come back to bed, Mostly Hairless Troll.
Y/N: I asked for that, didn't I? 🤦
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Benedict taglist, pt 1: @makaylan @longingintheuniverse @iboopedyournose @aintnuthinbutahounddog @severewobblerlightdragon @writergirl-2001 @heeyyyou @enichole445 @enchantedbytomandhenry @ambitionspassionscoffee @chaoticcalzoneranchsports @nikaprincessofkattegat @baebee35 @crowleysqueenofhell @fiction-is-life @lilacbeesworld @broooookiecrisp @queen-of-the-misfit-toys @eleanor-bradstreet @divaanya @musicismyoxygen84 @miindfucked @sorryallonsy @cayt0123 @hottytoddyhistory @fictionalmenloversblog @zinzysstuff @malpalgalz @kinokomoonshine @causeimissu @delehosies @m-rae23 @last-sheep @panhoeofmanyfandoms @kmc1989 @desert-fern @corpseoftrees-queen @magical-spit @bunnyweasley23 @how-many-stars-in-the-sky @sya-skies
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boxoftheskyking · 7 months
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So you might want to buy a house
DISCLAIMER: all of this is based on my own experience, and I am in no way a real estate professional. This is just some stuff that I’ve learned and some steps that I wish I’d known more about in advance, in hopes that it might be helpful for some people. I might get some terminology wrong, or make mistakes, but hopefully the general info is at least kind of helpful
ABOUT ME: because real estate stuff is specific. I am 33, single, employed, and live in a city in Minnesota, USA. This is my first home purchase, so most of this is specific to being a first-time buyer. I’ve been renting in this area for 15 years. I closed on my house in August 2023.
NOTE: The real estate market is super weird, and varies hugely from region to region, neighborhood to neighborhood, and week to week. What shook out for me will not be what shakes out for you.
This is SO LONG, so it’s under a cut, and I hope you will take it with the good faith in was intended!
Where do I start?
So you want to get started but want to talk things over first. This is a good idea! Even if you have friends and family who have bought before, it’s nice to talk to official type people where you can ask any and every question and know they’ve heard way dumber questions than you could ever come up with over the course of their career.
Employee Assistance Program -If you work a job that has benefits, you might have what’s called an Employee Assistance Program (EAP). Some companies get it along with their health insurance as kind of a bundle, but a lot of people don’t talk about it or know about it. -EAPs are all different, they’re basically a resource hub that you might have access to if your employer covers it. Some things they offer are limited therapy/counseling sessions (usually around a specific need like a breakup/death/life transition), consultation about adoption, personal financial advising, and consultation on housing and buying property. -I used my EAP to find a bunch of organizations that work to support first-time home buyers. The one I went with, NeighborWorks Home Partners, is specific to my area, but there were other options listed. -I didn’t actually talk to anyone related to the EAP, I just logged in to a site that had a bunch of links. But I could have talked to someone if I wanted -If you work a job and have benefits like health insurance, retirement, dental, etc it’s worth asking whoever does your benefits (and HR person, general manager, office manager, etc) if there is an EAP. Again, a lot of people don’t really talk about it.
Homebuyer Education -There’s a bunch of different organizations that provide homebuyer education. I didn’t know many of the details about homebuying, and it’s super confusing and anxiety-inducing, so I found it helpful -There’s a few ways to do this—I did both a one-on-one consultation and an online class -The one-on-one consultation was free from the org I chose. We talked on Zoom and went over monthly budgets (which I didn’t really need to do, I make budgets for a living lolllll), a soft credit pull (will talk more about this below) and talk about what goes into a credit score, and all the different expenses that go into a house and what that might look like. At the end of the day, it gave me the first sense of what my budget for a house might be.  -They did a soft credit pull (see below), which gave me a sense of my credit. It was more accurate than a thing like Credit Karma or my bank. -One note about the consultation - my down payment assistance program (will talk more about this later) required me to redo it, because I did it over a year before closing. So depending on your programs you might need to pay attention to the timeline. I also got a certificate saying I did it that I submitted to my assistance program. (Redoing it meant like a 10 minute call where the guy just helped talk me through my closing documents) -It cost me $75 to take an online class that took a few hours. It was in 8 parts and included watching some videos, reading some short articles, and then taking quizzes. You had to get 80% right to pass, and you can redo it if you need to. It went over most of the things to know and had links to read more. I also got a certificate for that to submit, and it didn’t matter how much time had passed for my assistance program. 
Credit -I’m not going to explain everything about credit, because it is complicated -A soft credit pull is when they check the three major credit reporting agencies to get a general sense of your score. It’s not 100% accurate. -A hard credit pull is what lenders will do when you actually go in for a preapproval (more below). It will be the most accurate. A hard credit pull will have an affect on your credit score, so if you’re ever doing something that involves a hard credit pull, it’s best to do all of that within a month so that it only really hits once. -There are 3 credit reporting agencies, and your score will be different from each one. Why? no idea. They all have a different maximum number that your score can be. Why? again, no idea. It’s around 850 though. -Generally things get easier to do if your score is above 680ish. It’s not like you can’t get a house with a lower score, but sometimes there are other hoops to jump through. -I’m not very useful when it comes to buying a house with low credit, but I bet there are people who are!  -You build credit by owing money and paying it regularly. It’s annoying and dumb, but it’s the way it is. Paying rent on time builds your credit, having a credit card that you pay off every month builds credit, paying utility bills that are in your name builds credit. (Note: This stuff has to be in your name for it to count, so if you pay your roommate every month for the electric bill and it’s in their name, it won’t count. So if you’re in that situation, you may want to put something in your name like a card to build your score). Paying off a car or phone or student loan also helps. -I have really good credit, and I’m neither rich nor special. I just set everything to autopay, including my credit card bill. I use my credit card for most things that I just shop for in the world like groceries, etc, and then I have all my bills autopay from my checking account. How did people do this shit before autopay? I have no idea.
Mortgage vs. Rent -The benefit of paying a mortgage vs rent is that you’re building equity if you pay into a mortgage. This is a surprise tool that will help you later. Which means that if you are in a situation where you need money, you can borrow from what you’ve paid into your mortgage. So like if you get very sick or have a kid going to school or want to throw a big party, you could get a loan based on your equity -Equity is confusing, don’t ask me about it -For me, I pay a bit more per month than I did in rent at my last place. BUT mostly that’s because I’d been living in the same place for many years and my rent hadn’t gone up that much. One of the first things I did when considering buying is look at how much it would cost to rent a house like the kind I would want to buy. And those rents are over what I ended up paying monthly to my mortgage. -Keep in mind that you will be taking on some extra expenses that you don’t have as a renter (like maintenance, repairs, etc). Note: if you’re buying a condo, that’s different. I don’t know shit about that. -So for me, paying my landlord every month for him to occasionally (half-assedly) fix stuff (on his schedule, where he decides who to hire or how to do the work, where he is a stranger in my space for the duration) was not as appealing as me paying the bank every month so I can have some equity  -The first 6 months of owning a house feels like hemorrhaging money out of every orifice, but the majority of these expenses are one-time or rarely-reoccurring things. But I didn’t quite prepare for this the way I wish I had, so when you’re thinking about building your savings to buy a house, you’ll want to consider things like furniture, small repairs, pest control, duct cleaning, gutter cleaning, many many visits to a hardware store, realizing some of your stuff doesn’t fit the way it did in the old place and you have to get new things.... etc. 
The Money Stuff
Lenders -It might be appealing to start by looking at properties, but especially in a hot market that’s not what you want to do first -The first thing to do is to look at lenders! Lenders are basically the institutions that give you the loan to buy your house, and the ones you will be paying monthly for the 30 years of your loan (or until you sell) (or die I guess) -I talked to like 13 lenders, because I love an excuse not to move forward on scary things, so I just do research and research and research until I run out of steam. So i don’t necessarily recommend doing that. But you definitely want to talk to at least a few. -Lenders can be banks (like Bank of American, US Bank, Wells Fargo, etc), credit unions (like Affinity, RCU, etc), or smaller mortgage companies. -You can also talk to mortgage brokers, which are companies that have agreements with different banks or companies and can shop around on your behalf. -I got my list of people to talk to from: my consultation (above), friends who had bought/were buying, friends who like their bank/credit unions for other things -You’ll have a specific person you’re working with, so who that person is matters. -Things you’ll want to ask about 1. How is their communication? How big is your team? If you see a house on a Saturday and they need offers by Sunday afternoon, how likely is it that they will get your preapproval letter ready in time?  2. Are they good at explaining things to you? Do they work with first-time homebuyers a lot? Do you feel dumb talking to them? Are they mortgage nerds and genuinely seem like they care about finding you good deals and cool programs? 3. What are their interest rates at the moment? Know that this will change between now and the time you have the option to lock in, so don’t put too too much weight on this 4. Most importantly: What assistance programs do they have access to? Everyone has different ones, which we’ll talk about below. Don’t assume that because a bank is huge that they have a ton of assistance. Some small places have really great programs. Likewise, some of the banks that are more well-known for big ticket mortgages (like Jumbo loans for mansions, etc) actually have crazy good programs for low-income and first-time home buyers, because they need to show that they also work for the little guy -I ended up going with a small local mortgage company because they had a kickass program ($10,000 in down payment assistance that is forgivable in 5 years. So as long as I don’t sell my house in 5 years, I don’t have to pay that back). -You may be tempted to solely base your decision on who to get a mortgage from on the politics of the lending institution. This is a lovely instinct. HOWEVER, your mortgage can be sold to anyone at any time. Within a month of moving in, my mortgage was sold to Freddie Mac. I still pay the credit union that is the servicer of my loan, but it all goes back to the big guy in the end. So basically you have no control of where your money ends up. (or maybe you do somehow, ask someone else about that) -At the end of the day, you should apply to like 2-4 different lenders. Once you fill out your application, they’ll do a hard credit pull and look at all your income, bank accounts, etc, and they’ll pre-approve you for a certain amount of money. -This is really where you’ll get your house-hunting budget. There can be a pretty big range in what you’re approved for! One lender approved me for $220K (”maybe $225K” they said). Another approved me for $280K. You’ll want to pick a lender based on all the above information, along with the amount you’re approved for. Being approved for $280K doesn’t mean that’s what you should spend (you can, but I don’t recommend it), but it does mean that your budget can be more like $250K, compared for $225K. You’ll want to look around at your area to see what’s reasonable for you.
Downpayment Assistance -for a lot of first-time buyers, the downpayment (and closing costs) is the thing that’s standing between you and being a homeowner. So that’s what a lot of organizations focus on -The more you put down (i.e. pay right off the bat), the lower your loan will be, and therefore the less your monthly payment will be. So it’s worth it to try and pay down as much as possible -(Likewise, if you buy and house and then get a windfall and are like What do I do with all this cash, paying down your mortgage will save you money) -This is because you pay MORE in interest than you pay for your house, so the less your loan is, the less you’re paying in interest. If you find a way to pay off your loan early, you end up paying less interest! And you win against the bank! If you get a raise and are able to put even like an extra $100 towards your mortgage each month, that can cut years off your loan and build your equity more quickly, thereby cutting down on the interest you end up paying. So unlike paying more money to a landlord who will eat it with a spoon, maybe more in your mortgage early is helpful for you. -Lots of downpayment assistance (hereinafter DPA) is stackable! So you can qualify for multiple programs and use them all -Many have an income requirement (for one of mine, I need to make 80% of the median income in my area or less). -Many are location specific. Some of those you can look up in advance and try to focus on properties in those areas. Some are super super specific, like this block only, or these specific addresses. That’s true for one of my programs—whenever I was considering making an offer on a house, I’d email my lender and she’d tell me if that specific address counts for the assistance program -At the end of the day, I got $30K in assistance. $10K of that is forgivable in 5 years (so I don’t have to pay it back unless I sell in that time). The other $20K is from two separate no-interest loans. This means that if I sell the house, I have to pay back that amount. Ideally by that time I’ll have enough equity in my house that will cover that. -Interest rates are super high right now, so if you’re buying now you want to think about refinancing. Refinancing is basically when you negotiate a new deal with your lender. There are fees and things (I’ve never done it so IDK), but the benefit of doing that is getting a lower interest rate. So my rate is 6.25%, and in 5 years if the rate goes down to like 2.3% I may want to refinance so I’ll be paying less in interest over the course of my loan. -If you’re getting DPA that’s a loan, you will want to ask what happens when you refinance. They’ll probably tell you either you have to pay it back when you refinance (so don’t get stuck in that situation if you don’t have that $$$ on hand) or they’ll say it’ll be subordinated -this took me like weeks to get a straight answer on wtf is subordination. Basically, you pay your loans off in order, right, so you pay your mortgage and then after that you pay off your DPA loans. So if you refinance, then your mortgage ends up being “newer” I guess. So in order to put the mortgage back “on top” of the pile to pay off, so to speak, you pay that (and it’s interest) first, the DPA loans get shoved down underneath the mortgage on the list. 
Interest Rates -You can’t control interest rates. Honestly markets are so volatile and the world is so close to ending, I would say it’s not worth waiting for them to go down. Maybe they will, maybe they won’t. No one fuckin knows -So many global, political, circumstantial things affect these, and who knows what might happen. My friends happened to be closing during the time the debt ceiling almost freaked out, which was outside of their control, so they got screwed with a super high rate.  -After you get an offer accepted and you’re working on setting up your loan, you’ll usually get the offer to “lock in” an interest rate. Basically, if you have reason to believe rates will go down before you close, don’t do it. if you think they’ll go up, then do it. Who fuckin knows. I did it bc I didn’t think it was likely stuff would go down. And I haven’t looked it up bc if they did I don’t want to know -There are more complicated things you can do with interest rates, like “floating down” and APRs and other shit. Don’t ask me about them, I do not know.
Looking for houses
Realtors -Who your realtor is MATTERS y’all. Here is what a realtor will do: 1. Give you access to a Super Awesome online listing of properties (much better than Zillow! Updates constantly). They will set your search filters based on what you specifically want and your specific budget. That includes size, amenities, location, school district, garage, yard, etc etc 2. Arrange showings for you. Sometimes you might want to go to open houses, but you don’t have to wait for those to see a house. You tell your realtor what you’re interested in and they can set up a time for just you and them to see the place 3. Access houses with funky lil lockboxes. Heist teams should include realtors—I’ve seen my guy get into the weirdest of devices in no time 4. Recommend places to you 5. Talk on your behalf with the seller’s agents or the sellers themselves 6. Take you all the way through your offers, acceptance, all the way to closing (basically, most of the rest of this post) -I am really lucky that a friend of mine is one of the best realtors in town (in my humble opinon). It really worked out for me, because when it came to negotiating price and terms with sellers and their agents, people already respected him and his expertise because he was a known fixture in the field. I’m not saying that an early-career or unknown realtor is bad, but reputation can do a lot of heavy lifting for you (as you’ll see later) -My realtor, S, is not only a friend, but also someone who has owned, rented, built, remodeled, bought, and sold everything from high rise condos to alpaca farms to tiny houses built in shipping containers. That experience was super useful to me for a few reasons: 1. He was very very good at looking at a roof, foundation, or basement, and saying “absolutely not, this is a mess” —I could only rarely see what he was talking about because I know nothing 2. If I looked at a space and said “what if I wanted to add a shower there?” or “could I make this basement area a bedroom?” S was able to pretty accurately estimate what that would cost. So that became part of the math as we looked at places, which was really useful and saved me so much time doing research on my own 3. He’s a queer artist who grew up in a nontraditional family and has lived many fascinating and non-standard lives. I only mention this because when I wanted to talk about my future and what my home could look like, I didn’t have to worry about S making assumptions about what “family” consists of or what my “role” would be. And as a single woman who is looking to adopt, that really meant a lot to me! -(side note if you’re in the Twin Cities and want S’s info, hit me up) -The most important thing about working with S, for me, is that he never made me feel foolish. I gradually got really good at talking about and looking at houses, but even when I asked questions that were obviously, or made incorrect assumptions, he never treated me like I should have known the answers, or like the process was supposed to be easy. And the guy genuinely loves houses!
What to Look For -You’ll want to find a house that fits what you want your life to be, not necessarily what it is at this moment. So think about what you want your day to day to be like. Will you be working from home at all? Do you have or want kids or pets? Do you want to be a person who hosts out of town guests? Do you want to have band practice at your place? Do you want to host D&D? Large holiday meals? Do you want to garden? Grill? Have a firepit? Do you have a car, or do you think you will? Do you have physical access needs based on your body, like particular types of doorways, floors, stairs, size of spaces, etc.? Are there furniture pieces that are important to you that you want to plan around? (For me, I have an electric piano, and placing that was super important).
-I’m a single person, and I want to adopt a kid, and I know I’ll need a roommate in order to afford my mortgage. So it was vital for me to find a house that either had 3 bedrooms, or had 2 bedrooms and a 3rd could be easily finished/added. it was also important that my roommate would have their own private space that was decent size for me to charge rent -Think about all year round. I live in Minnesota, and you better believe snow was top of mind at every house. As a renter, my landlord was supposed to deal, with anything over 3 inches (did he always? of course not). Now it’s my responsibility. What kind of trees are around? Do you have big storms? You need to pay attention to big branches and power lines. Is it getting super hot where you live? You probably want to prioritize central air, or shade.
-On the topic of central air - It’s pricey to add it to a house that doesn’t have forced air heat, because you have to add all the ductwork. If that’s the case and you don’t have that $$$, you can either go with window units or something called a mini-split. It’s basically mini air conditioners that heat floors separately, but have a better range than a window unit. -Does the house have a yard you want to deal with? How about a sidewalk you have to shovel (woe unto you in corner lots) -How does bussing work for the schools in your area, if that matters to you? -Some houses will be empty. Empty rooms look smaller than rooms that have shit in them -Some will be staged. People who stage houses don’t fill them with STUFF, so you’ll notice few bookcases, coatracks, etc. Think about the stuff you have, not the stuff they put in the house. -You will be AMAZED at how some people live. Seriously. Some people have a giant ass oak tree literally leaning on their roof and just deal with it. Some people have 3 bedroom houses, and the only bathroom is only accessible by going through one of the bedrooms. Some people have their fridge down a flight of stairs from the kitchen. Some people have their laundry in the basement, but the only access to the basement is through an outside door. In some climates that’s fine, but I live in fucking Minnesota -I had the instinct when I started looking that I needed to be entirely open to everything, and not be too picky. After about two weeks of looking (and S had me going to like 4-9 showings a day some days), I got real picky real fast. This was helpful for S and helpful for me, so we weren’t wasting time on houses that weren’t contenders. I learned that the houses’ feelings did not get hurt by me not wanting to buy them -Likewise, I started out being entirely open about where I wanted to live. Anywhere in the Cities or near suburbs, I said. But then I went to see houses in these places and realized I did not want to drive that far to work, or that the only way to access places was by the highway, so if it shuts down or there’s a bad snowstorm, I’m stuck. -To that end, i found it really helpful to make myself a Google map (you can make some and save them) of where I go. I included work, church, my bandmates houses, bars I like to go to, and my friends’ houses. Then whenever I was considering a house I’d plunk it on the map and see how it lined up with the realities of my life. -We’ll talk about offers in a sec, but remember that people can technically list their house for whatever number they want. So it’ll be up to you and your realtor to decide what’s fair. I mention this here, because a house may be listed way cheaper than others on your list—there’s likely a reason for that, but if it looks promising, give it a try! It could be that the reason it’s listed low doesn’t matter to you (i.e. it’s next to an annoying business that you don’t mind, or doesn’t have a garage but you don’t have a car, or the other houses int he neighborhood have yards and this doesn’t). Or it could be the seller needs to move it FAST and you can take advantage of their situation. -If you’re a handy person, a cheaper house might be a great option if fixing it up to be what you want is affordable for you. (Again, this is where a realtor like S can be super helpful to come up with those costs). For me, I didn’t want to do jack shit to the house, and I knew I’d be paying for that. (not that I don’t have a whole spreadsheet of eventual projects....but that’s invevitable) -Likewise, it can be helpful to set your filters to include houses a bit above your budget. Some people list their houses WAY higher than they should, so if you see a property that’s been on the market for a while (when I was looking the market was hothothot, so “a while” could mean anything over a week/10 days. In a slower market, you’ll want to look at those that have been listed for 30+ days), it might be worth checking out and then offering low. Chances are the seller will need to reduce the price anyway if they’re not getting any bites, and you could get a good deal by jumping in before they do that. -IDK where else to put this, but measure the garage. I didn’t, and I discovered like a month ago that my car (a little compact Toyota) is too long for my damn garage. It’s not that I wouldn’t have bought the house because of that, but I could have included it in some negotiations.
Offers -So you found a house you like! Now the scary part. 
-You’ll get a sense of the market from your realtor, and they can usually advise you about how quickly you need to move on a potential offer. Sometimes a seller will give a deadline themselves: they call this “best and highest.” So they’ll say “we’re hearing offers at 3pm tomorrow” or “we’re asking for best and highest on Monday.” Generally that’s the cutoff for receiving viable offers. -In the market when I was buying, it was pretty common for houses to sell for 20-40K over the asking price. Again, some houses would be listed too high or too low, as I mentioned before, but on average that’s what I was working with. There were also a TON of offers on all the properties I liked. The lowest number of offers on a house I tried to get was 5, the highest was 19. That is kind of insane. In a slower market, when you’re not competing with that many people, you can offer closer to the asking price (or some people just say “asking” as in “20 over asking”) -The first thing I did when I decided to put in an offer, was to talk to my realtor so he could start getting the paperwork together. You can’t just email the seller and say “i want your house,” there are legal documents that have to be drawn up to make it a binding agreement if it’s accepted. -My folks bought their house without a realtor and did all the negotiating, etc, themselves, but they still needed a realtor friend to do the paperwork for them. If you go that route, you can probably do more informal offers, but IDK how that works. -The next thing I did was contact my lender for the following things: 1. I gave them the address and asked “Does this fall within certain DPAs?” 2. I asked them to run some numbers for me. Usually it was a version of: “What would my monthly payment be if I offered $240K and put down $5K in earnest money, and if I had $20K of downpayment assistance? How about if I offered $245K or $250K? What if I only put down $2500?” This helped me figure out what kind of offer I could reasonably make, and what it would actually cost me monthly if I got the house. 3. Then, when I decided what I wanted to offer, I would ask for a preapproval letter that includes the address of the property, basically saying “hey we’re a lender and we will give Jay a loan of $XX to buy this house, pinky promise” -I copied S on all my communications with the lender, so he knew what I was considering and he could give advice -(sometimes I saw a house on Friday and had to make an offer by noon on Saturday, leading to me trying to call my lender at 9am on a Saturday morning, which sucked. This is why knowing who’s on your lender’s team and how to contact them matters) -There’s no hard and fast way to decide on a good offer, because you won’t know how many you’re competing against. Sometimes your realtor might be able to chat with the sellers agent and find out how many people saw the property, if they have a sense of how popular it is, but sometimes you want. You want to be able to afford it, but also not go so low that you won’t even be considered. -Usually, your realtor will ask you to write a love letter to the house to include in the offer. “Dear seller, I love your house because of blah blah blah, I can see myself doing blah blah blah, specifics specifics.” Do these matter? I don’t feel like they do but whatever. Make a template and update it for each offer. -One thing to note about this is that you DO NOT want to give information about yourself regarding your status in a protected class (i.e. “we’re a young queer couple; I’m a neurodivergent person; I’m an immigrant/veteran/belong to X racial group”). It might seem like that would be helpful in certain areas, but sellers aren’t legally allowed to pick a buyer based on those things, so it ends up working against you.  You can talk about what you do as a job or as a hobby, if you’re an artist, if you’re a parent, if you have pets, if you know who else will be living int he house with you, etc. You can hint at things. But S was very clear with me about keeping it pretty general and about the house. -Once you’ve decided on the $$$ you’re offering, you need to decide if there’s anything else to add to “sweeten the pot.” For some people, that’s saying “my timeline is totally flexible, so if you need to close in a month that’s fine, and if you need to close in 4 months that’s fine.” A lot of people choose to waive inspections. -OHHHHHH Ye olde inspection. Dear God. -The inspection is basically a thing where you hire a professional to look at the house before you officially seal the deal, and they tell you if there are things you need to be concerned about. So if the inspector comes in and says “yeah this roof is going to cave in in a year,” you can use that in your negotiation and say “look, I’m going to lower my offer by $15K, because I will need a new roof in a year.” then it’s up to the seller to decide if they want to agree to that, or if they want to try again to find a buyer who hopefully would not get an inspection. -to “waive an inspection” means that you’re agreeing to skip this step -OK so my instinct was always “I will NEVER waive the inspection,” and a lot of people feel that way. HOWEVER, I did not get certain houses because the people who did offered exactly what I did and waived the inspection. There was a buyer who had made SEVENTEEN OFFERS and beat me out on a house, and they got that house after SEVENTEEN OTHER TRIES because they waived an inspection. -I did get an inspection with my house, which was lucky and also thanks to S being a great negotiator. -I waived it on one of my offers -I would say I’d be comfortable waiving an inspection if: 1. You or your realtor knows shit about buildings, codes, etc. S knew a lot, so was able to look at things like furnaces, windows, basement beams, foundations, etc etc. 2. The important parts of the house are easily visible. Usually this means an unfinished basement. if the basement is finished, you probably can’t see all the structural things you’d need to 3. You’re already planning to do a bunch of work on a house, so you’re offering a lower bid and budgeting to do renovations anyway -At the end of the day, it’s your call. More about inspections below. -Most people who buy houses have mortgages, meaning that they can’t just drop $250K on a house. However, some people got it like that, so they make what is called a cash offer. Cash offers will win out every time, because they are usually higher, are easier for the sellers, and will often waive inspections. Depending on your region and your budget, you may or may not see this. I got screwed SO MANY TIMES and so did my friends, by all-cash, no inspection offers. The majority of these are from people who are buying properties to rent out or Airbnb - they won’t live there so they don’t really care if it’s solid, and my budget range seemed to be about where rich people who don’t want to flip a house felt comfortable buying. It was annoying. -but hey if you got it like that, go for it. -Once you have all the terms of your offer figured out, your realtor will send you the official offer paperwork that you’ll sign (prob. digitally). Then they’ll send it over to the seller and be in charge of all that communication. If the seller comes back with a counter, or with questions, your realtor will bring that to you. They may advise you, but at the end of the day it is up to you what you’ll offer and what you’ll accept.
You got accepted!
-Holy cats, they said yes to your offer and your terms! This is a huge moment to celebrate! I cried! And obsessively looked at pictures of the house over and over -The seller may come back to you with some proposed adjustments. In my case they wanted to round the selling price up by $1K, which I agreed to. (IDK why they cared, but in the grand scheme that was fine). They also wanted to change some of the verbiage in the offer that didn’t actually affect anything. -The first thing you’ll need to do is put down the earnest money. That is usually held in a trust or something similar until closing. But basically, if you said you’d put down $5K of your own money in the offer, you have to prove you have it right away. So don’t offer to put down earnest money that you don’t have! -The higher this number, the more appealing your offer generally is -There are a lot of things that will need to wait until you close, so this period of time feels really weird -You’ll have a purchase agreement (along with any addendums or changes) that basically says “I’m Jay and I offer $XX, the seller agreed to the price and the terms, we’ll see how it goes from here and if it all goes well, this deal will go through” -I’m gonna say it now, don’t ask me about escrow. Escrow is basically like an account where money lives between you and the bank. You pay extra into this account so that if something happens and you can’t pay what you agreed, the bank still gets the money for a certain period of time. or something like that, I don’t know, it gives me a headache. I’m sure other people understand it better.
Next steps
Inspection -If you included an inspection in your offer/purchase agreement, you’ll want to set that up within a few days. (Don’t worry about booking “last minute,” inspectors pretty much always work on that kind of schedule. Very few people are booking inspectors weeks in advance. This was something I felt bad about, but it’s okay)
-Inspections are pricey, and usually have different packages that include different things. I chose to do the sewer scope bc I had a friend who found some crazy sewer issues and I didn’t want to deal with it. Your realtor can probably give you advice on what you might need. -Inspector look at a lot of things: all your systems (like heating, cooling, pipes, electricity, etc),  your windows, roof, foundation, gutters, attics, floors, plumping, appliances, etc. -They do NOT open walls/ceilings/floors, etc. So if it’s not visible, they won’t be able to report on it.  -They’ll send you a big ol’ report, and if you can be there with them they’ll do a walk through with you to talk over big issues. Your realtor should come to that as well, as they might have good questions. -After you have the information, you have to decide if there are any big issues that need to be addressed. The inspector will flag things that are a problem legally, but it’s up to you how much you care about them. Some will be easy fixes. Others might be deal breakers that mean you decide to walk away from the property entirely. Most things will be in the middle.  -Note that some things are legally “issues” but practically may not matter. There are certain outlets on the outside of my house that aren’t right, but I don’t intend to use them much and if it turns out I need to, it’s not that expensive to switch them out. My basement stairs are an absolutely death trap, but my laundry is upstairs and so i dont really need to use them much. I could spend like $4K to replace them, but I don’t care at this point, and it’s not a big issue for me. But legally they are terrible. -Some things may be an absolute problem that the seller needs to deal with before you’ll agree to by the house. -You and your realtor will come up with a list of things you want to tell the seller to fix before closing. They might fight you on some of them, and again that’s why the realtor being a good negotiator matters. -Generally, you want to ask for fixes on the important things, without asking for every little thing, so the seller doesn’t decide you’re too much trouble and they could probably back out and get a better offer that wouldn’t cost them as much in repairs. -for me, the garage door was busted so they defnitely needed to fix that. There was a pipe that was put in wrong that was a quick fix. And there were birds in the attic, so they needed to clear those out and go through and block up all the entry points in the room. All of these requests were reasonable, and the sellers agreed to them. -At this point, it’s up to you if you want to pay for a re-inspection (i.e. the inspector coming back to verify that they did all the work they were supposed to). I didn’t—instead I had them give me all the receipts from the work that was done along with photos and video of the work. That way if something is a problem in the future, I can contact the companies that did the work and take advantage of warranties, etc.
Home Service Warranty -Speaking of warranties! There’s a thing called a Home Service Warranty that you’ll need to decide on. Mine is through American Home Shield. Basically this is a warranty that covers things in your house. There are different levels of coverage, so some just cover the big things like windows/roof/furnace/water heater/etc. As you upgrade, it’ll include things like stoves, fridges, dishwashers, etc. -If you’re getting your own warranty, you basically pay a certain amount per month for the coverage. Then if any of the covered things break down, it get’s fixed for free (plus a small service charge. For me that’s $125). So if your inspector tells you “hey, you’ve got about a year left on this water heater” or “the furnace has some issues that might come up in a few years” you could save a BUNCH of money by having this coverage. -My realtor got this warranty included in my purchase agreement, so the seller is actually paying for a. year of my coverage at he upgraded level. This is SICK AS HELL and not every realtor will think of it—definitely mention it to yours. I didn’t even think of it as an option. Basically what this means is that if any of my stuff breaks this first year, I can get it replaced for very cheap AND I don’t even have to pay the monthly coverage fee. -When I moved in, my shower was broken. I tried to fix it, but the called AHS and I only paid $125 for a plumber to come look at it, order parts (which would have been pricey since my house is pretty old), and fix it for me. I hate my fridge, so I have a goal to break it this year so I can get a new one for free.
Appraisal -Okay, so you got the seller to agree to your fixes, everything is moving apace. It is time for the GOD DAMN APPRAISAL -(for many people, the appraisal is fine and is not GOD DAMN anything. For me, it was a nightmare and I didn’t sleep for like 2 weeks) -Okay so what is an appraisal. Basically, the seller said “my house is worth $XX” you said “I’ll pay $XX for it.” Your lender said “we’ll give Jay a loan for $XX.” But now someone else has to look at the house and determine if it’s a fair price for the house. This is what really determines the loan you’ll get (this is also why what you’ve gotten so far is a pre-approval. They’ve basically said “you’re capable of paying back a loan of $XX, but we need an outside agency to determine if this house is worth is”) -The appraiser will look at the house, inspection reports, and other sales of similar houses in your area. Ideally, this helps them determine if the price you and the seller have agreed on is in line with what is reasonable. -Banks are not going to give you a $400K loan on a potting shed in a ditch -It’s all complicated and this is where a lot of shit in the Housing Crisis came from -Basically, you want the appraisal to come at or higher than your purchase price. (if it comes in higher, do a little dance bc you got a deal) -If it comes in lower, you can be in trouble. That’s what happened to me. -A note about rules & regs - lenders cannot talk directly to appraisers. This is because of the housing crisis and all the shady backroom deals that were happening (i.e. if you appraise this house at this price, we’ll give you Mr. Appraiser Guy some kickbacks from the extra money we’re making in mortgage interest or whatever). In practical terms, this means it takes FOREVER to get messages to all the parties involved.  -If the appraisal comes in low, you can ask for a reappraisal. It’s up to the appraiser if they agree. There are rules about this. -What Happened To Me: OK so my house is in a historically Black and immigrant neighborhood (read, historically redlined). This means a lot of the properties here are undervalued based on other locations. In a hot market, even undervalued properties can go up in price in a big way. In a slow market, that doesn’t happen so much. My appraiser only wanted to pull comps (meaning comparable sales of similar houses in the same area) in my exact neighborhood. However, there hadn’t been any sales of similar size/age/etc houses in my exact neighborhood since last winter. Guess what the market is like in the winter in Minnesota! Fucking SLOW boy. So these comps were coming in like $20K lower than my agreed price. So my realtor and lender took a look and said “look, if we widen out a little bit to these nearby neighborhoods, we can see all these more recent sales that are closer to our price.” It took two weeks of back and forth to get the appraiser to agree to add some of these comps to the appraisal. He was really reluctant to look outside my immediate area, because my neighborhood is of “lower value” than the surrounding areas. Structural racism, baby. Not against me, but against my neighbors and everyone who’s lived in this area for the past 150 years. Hooray. Finally, I got a re-appraisal that was $8K lower than my purchase price. So I was in a pickle. I had an agreement with the seller saying I’ll pay $XX, while the bank is now saying “we’ll only give you a loan for $XX-minus-$8K.” So either I need to come up with $8K MORE of a down payment in earnest money, or I need the purchase price to go down. Or i need to find more assistance. HERE IS WHERE HAVING S MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE. He went to the seller and basically used his status and significant experience to say “Look, you can either agree to lower the purchase price by $8K, or we all walk away. If we walk away, this means you have to re-list the house, wait for more offers. And then even if you get an offer as good as or better than Jay’s, that person will still need to go through the appraisal process. So...  you’ll probably be right back here. The only chance you have of skipping appraisal is if someone comes in with a cash offer, meaning they won’t need a loan and no bank is involved. But for a lot of the reasons the appraisal is low, those types of buyers (who often want rentals/vacation rental properties) ain’t looking to buy in this neighborhood.”
(or that’s what I imagine he said. It was probably smarter)
ANYWAY, all that to say a MIRACLE occurred, and the seller agreed to lower the purchase price of the house by $8K. I can tell you the whole story of how I found out over a drink sometime, but let me tell you I wepttttttt
-Anyhow, once the appraisal is good and you’re pretty sure the deal is going through, you gotta get insurance. call a bunch of places, figure out what coverage you need, see if it’s cheaper or easier to put car/life/etc in the same place. You have to have insurance if you have a home loan - basically the bank owns the house, so it’s in their interest to have it covered in case of disaster.
Closing
-I’m going to be quick on this, because it’s super technical and I only kind of understand it. -Closing is basically the day where you sign all the paperwork, after which the house is yours! Then you can start moving, renovating, decorating, whatever you want. -One of the things that’s part of closing is the Title and Title Insurance. Basically, you need to pay to have the paper that says you own the house, and then you have to pay for insurance on that piece of paper. Why. IDK.  -At this point there’s so many random fees and charges, I just kind of looked at the totals and made sure nothing was way out of range of what I expected.  -A few days before closing, you should have the following: 1. receipts/evidence from any fixes made to the house or a re-inspection report 2. Closing disclosures, which basically means any information that’s attatched to the deed for the home. This can include unpaid property taxes, any weird liens on the property, any easement agreements with neighbors you should know about, etc. 3. All the paperwork you will sign! -It is in your best interest to read ALL OF IT if you can. (the title person was surprised I’d read mine, which I found super worrying lol) -If you are buying a house by yourself, you will not BELIEVE how many times you will read “Jay, A SINGLE PERSON, is buying a house ALONE AND BY THEMSELF, as a SINGLE UNMARRIED ALONE PERSON” Very judgy. What are you, my grandma? -One thing about disclosures—it’s up to your title company to do research on weird shit that might be attached to your property. You can technically choose your title company, but I wouldn’t not recommend looking for the cheapest option if the company doesn’t have much of a track record. I had an issue come up with a payment the seller owed that was delayed, and my title company had to be the one that caught that. My friend and his husband got in trouble because some seller 5 years ago didn’t pay property taxes, and so the IRS came for THEM. The title company should have caught that before they closed and had it dealt with. They won’t end up paying it, but it’s a huge pain and they have to argue with the IRS which is never fun. -On closing day, you’ll do a final walk through with your realtor. This is your last chance to bring up any issues! You DEFINITELY want to do this walk through. If the seller left the door unlocked and an entire family has taken up residence in the living room, you need to know! If the contractor they hired to fix the plumbing knocked a new whole in the wall, you need to know! Don’t expect that the seller will tell you about any new issues that they caused. -This is your last chance to say “Hey, there’s a new major issue that wasn’t reporting, i ain’t signing shit until we re-negotiate” -If you find yourself in this situation (hopefully you won’t!) PLEASE don’t be afraid to say something! Don’t worry about how much time and money has already been put into it, or about calling out a seller who is acting in bad faith or fucked somethign up. This is your house! It matters! And your realtor should have your back. -But most of the time, the final walk through is fine! Then you go somewhere to sign all the paperwork. If you’re like me and have 3 different types of DPA, it will be two giant folders worth of paperwork.  -Once you sign the paperwork with the Title Company, they’ll put the paperwork through. After that happens, the bank should transfer the whole ass agreed amount to the seller. Also, if your DPA is in the form of other smaller loans from other sources, those should be paying to the seller at the same time. -in MY case, one of my DPAs took 3 hours to process for some reason, so I had the most anti-climactic closing ever. I signed everything, waited for an hour and a half, and then they were like “you can go, we’ll email you when you officially own the house” So I just awkwardly hung around and ate pancakes until I got the email. -Let’s say you have a relative who wants to help you out with your downpayment (Yay! Every little bit counts!) Or let’s say you’re living with someone who doesn’t want the house to be in their name, but they want to contribute to these initial costs. You’ll want to talk to your lender about this as soon as you know about it. There is special paperwork for “gifts” that basically let’s it go directly to you downpayment but it doesn’t count towards your income. So if Grandma Bob says “I got $10K for you” and you just deposit the check in your account and plan to pay $10K more in earnest money, that will suddenly look like you have $10K more money to your name, so might change how your loan and DPA shake out. But if you get Grandma Bob to sign a particular document and give you a certified check, you can just give that right to the Title person and it goes right to making your downpayment bigger, therefore making your loan smaller! Thanks Grandma Bob! -”Cash to close” is essentially what you are paying at closing via all sources. So that’s your downpayment (including all assistance) any gifts, your earnest money, etc. Sometimes you have additional closing costs. They may be covered by DPA, or you may be on the hook to write an additional check. You’ll know this in advance. -Hey, check it out, you own a house now! -(keep all your paperwork0 -They’ll give you a document you have the file with the city called Homestead filing, basically telling the city that you own a house and you live there.
NOW WHAT?
-Now I’m done telling you things. Feel free to DM me if you want to talk more, but also talk to professionals in your region who know things. -I started writing this post before I closed in July 2023. It’s now mid-November, and I’ve been living here for 3 months. Here’s some stuff I’ve learned that might be helpful: 1. It’s good to know what kid of walls you have (drywall vs. plaster and lathe, etc) because that determines how you can hang things on them. Also if you have plaster walls, just get a cheap magnetic stud finder. The fancy electronic ones often don’t work 2. It’s good to have a drill. It just is. 3. If there’s a big project you need done (say your garage is too short for your goddamn car), you may qualify for a home improvement loan from the same kind of orgs that give DPA. I’m doing it just because I don’t want to drop $3K in one go. Technically I have 4 years to pay it off, but I’m going to make larger monthly payments and pay it offer quicker than that.  4. We can talk about contractors and permit and zoning all day. Suffice to say, it’s good to look up who to talk to at the city about construction permits, and they can be both incredibly confusing and very nice. Often at the same time. 5. If you’re gonna have a roommate or partner or non-child family member who is paying you monthly to help with the mortgage, DRAW UP A LEASE. You want shit in writing, and they have rights as tenants that need to be respected. Many a relationship has been saved by PUTTING SHIT IN WRITING. (there are templates you can find) 6. FEELINGS: People always tell you “You won’t know how you feel about X until you do it.” Getting a dog, moving away from your folks, living with a partner, whatever. I am here as an old man to tell you, they are right. I had no idea I would have such BIG FEELINGS about this lil old house. When I come home and my roommate has the lights on and it has a glow, I feel so much that sometimes I cry! Setting things up, making decisions about organization, learning how to be in my space, means so so much more to me now than it ever did when I was renting. The stress is greater, too, because I have to make all the decisions! It’s exhausting! But every day in my house I am so happy to be here, I’m so glad my other offers weren’t accepted, because this is the best of the houses I looked at. It is my 117 year old baby and I love it forever.
Also I never want to do this again lol I’ve decided to die here.
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edmundodiazz · 1 year
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psychiatrist vs psychologist vs therapist
A question for Americans (and others if someone else wants to chime in).
So recently I became very curious about the distinction of these professions in the US (and around the world, as well, but the media I've been consuming has been, for the most part, American).
I keep hearing these words used interchangeably, and I began to wonder if maybe it wasn't always necessarily as much as lack of knowledge as, perhaps, differences in culture and education.
(Tbh I wasn't aware of all the nuances myself, so to explain the differences in a most comprehensive way I've searched for online acrticles that could explain it better, so the definitions below are translated (and sometimes also edited) paragraphs of online articles and not my own words.)
A psychiatrist is a medical doctor. To become a psychiatrist, you must gain a medical degree (after six years of study at the university) and then undergo an additional five years of internship in the field of psychiatry (similarily to any other medical doctor such as surgeon, endocrinologist, gynecologist etc.)
The specialization lasts about five years and includes theoretical classes and an internship in a designated medical facility. Only after finishing those additional five years of study can a medical graduate obtain the right to practice as a psychiatrist.
A psychiatrist is, therefore, primarily a physician who can work in medical facilities - treating patients with mental disorders and diseases. He also has, unlike a psychologist, the ability to prescribe medication to patients for the disorders they suffer from, as well as order a blood test or some other additional medical examinations.
A psychologist, on the other hand, is a person with a master's degree in psychology (the education lasts for five years). A psychologist, however, doesn't deal only with diseases and mental disorders but can also provide psychological support in difficult moments of life, career counseling and similar areas.
Not every psychologist works at their own office or provides consultations. There are psychologists who recruit employees or conduct training. There are psychologists who deal with psychometrics (development of psychological tests), scientific work, consumer research, etc.
Unfortunately, the profession of a psychologist in Poland has not yet been properly regulated or controlled (as is the case with doctors). Therefore, there are abuses by people who have completed postgraduate studies or courses in psychology in the title and call themselves psychologists despite the lack of five-year master's studies.
There is also somone called a clinical psychologist who has attained the master's degree in psychology and then completed an additional four-year specialization in psychology. They have more practical experience in the diagnosis and treatment of mental disorders. Clinical psychology is a discipline applied to healthcare. A clinical psychologist is a master of psychology with competencies in the field of specialization in the clinical psychology of adults, children and adolescents.
A psychotherapist is a person who has completed higher education and, in addition, a minimum of four years of psychotherapy training. Psychotherapists are most often psychologists, but they can also be doctors, midwives, nurses, sociologists or educators. To some extent, their competences overlap with those of a clinical psychologist. There are several leading schools of psychotherapy, which means that the training of a psychotherapist may emphasize various elements of the functioning of the psyche. Training in psychotherapy is long and very expensive.
(It should be noted that a psychiatrist, like a psychologist, is not licensed to conduct psychotherapy, unless they have completed postgraduate training in psychotherapy. A psychiatrist deals primarily with the diagnosis, prevention and treatment of mental illness.)
A therapist is an oft confused and overused word. Many may call themselves a therapist because they have completed one-year postgraduate studies in, for example, behavioral therapy for children with autism. Still others have master's degrees in pedagogical therapy with children with dyslexia. For others, completing a weekend-long therapy course is enough to call themselves a therapist. There are also occupational therapists working, for example, with children with disabilities. A therapist does not have to be a psychotherapist or even a psychologist.
Again, I wasn't aware of everything that has been said here, though I think it is safe to say that most people in my country (or at least the people I've come into contact with) do distinguish the major diferrences between a psychiatrist and a psychologist.
I wrote this post because, like I said before, I was often confused by the their perception in (mostly, I'd imagine) American media (tv shows, movies, books, online videos and articles, blogs and fanfics.) I'm curious, does the education look similiar in other countries? How easy/hard is it to study in those fields?
(I know I could search for the answers on the Internet but I guess I'd like to try a more social approach of asking actual people first).
(Sources for the articles can be found here, here, and here.)
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jitendra0002 · 6 months
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MCA University In Uttar Pradesh
Navigating the Landscape: Choosing a Distance MCA University in Uttar Pradesh
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Uttar Pradesh, India's heartland, is witnessing a surge in demand for upskilling and professional development. With the IT industry boom, the Master of Computer Applications (MCA) program emerges as a sought-after option, especially in its convenient distance learning format. However, navigating the plethora of universities offering distance MCA in Uttar Pradesh can be daunting. This comprehensive guide aims to equip you with the knowledge and insights to make an informed decision.
Factors to Consider When Choosing a Distance MCA University:
University Recognition and Accreditation:
Prioritize universities recognized by the University Grants Commission (UGC) and accredited by the National Assessment and Accreditation Council (NAAC). These accreditations ensure quality education and adherence to national standards. Look for additional accreditations specific to distance learning programs, such as the Distance Education Bureau (DEB) recognition.
Reputation and Ranking:
Research the university's reputation within the academic and professional circles. Check for rankings in renowned publications like NIRF and The Week, particularly for their distance learning programs. Alumni reviews and feedback can also provide valuable insights.
Curriculum and Course Structure:
Evaluate the curriculum's comprehensiveness and relevance to current industry trends. Ensure it encompasses core subjects like computer networks, software engineering, database management, and emerging technologies like Artificial Intelligence and Machine Learning. Check for the flexibility of the course structure and the delivery format (online, offline, blended).
Faculty and Learning Resources:
The quality of faculty plays a crucial role in a distance learning program. Look for universities with experienced, qualified faculty with industry expertise. Assess the availability of quality learning resources like study materials, online lectures, e-libraries, and interactive platforms.
Admission Process and Fees:
Analyze the eligibility criteria, entrance exams (if any), and overall admission process. Compare the fee structure, considering not only the program cost but also additional expenses like study materials, exam fees, and technology requirements. Look for scholarship opportunities and financial aid options.
Placement Assistance and Career Support:
Evaluate the university's track record in providing placement assistance for distance MCA graduates. Assess the strength of their industry connections, career counseling services, and alumni network support.
Top Distance MCA Universities in Uttar Pradesh:
Swami Vivekanand Subharti University (SVSU): Renowned for its academic excellence and industry-oriented curriculum, SVSU offers a well-structured distance MCA program with UGC, DEB, and NAAC accreditations..
Amity University Distance Education: Part of the renowned Amity Education Group, this university leverages its strong industry connections and offers a practical, interactive distance MCA program with NAAC accreditation.
Rajarshi Tandon Open University (RTOU): Established by the Uttar Pradesh government, RTOU is a reputed state-run university known for its affordable and accessible distance MCA program with UGC recognition.
Jain University: Recognized by UGC and AICTE, Jain University offers a well-designed distance MCA program with a focus on emerging technologies and flexible learning options.
Online Manipal: A constituent unit of Manipal Academy of Higher Education (MAHE), Online Manipal boasts an NAAC 'A' grade accreditation and offers a comprehensive distance MCA program with a blended learning approach.
Emerging Trends in Distance MCA Education:
Industry-Integrated Learning: Universities are increasingly collaborating with industry partners to provide internship opportunities, live projects, and industry-specific workshops as part of their distance MCA programs.
Focus on Emerging Technologies: The curriculum is evolving to address the growing demand for skills in Artificial Intelligence, Machine Learning, Cloud Computing, and Data Science.
Virtual Reality and Augmented Reality (VR/AR): VR/AR simulations are being implemented to enhance the learning experience and provide practical exposure in specific technology domains.
Personalized Learning: Adaptive learning platforms and AI-powered tools are being used to personalize the learning journey for each student, adapting to their individual pace and learning styles.
Concluding Thoughts:
Choosing the right distance MCA university in Uttar Pradesh requires careful consideration of your career goals, learning preferences, and financial constraints. By prioritizing UGC recognition, strong curriculum, experienced faculty, and career support, you can choose a program that equips you with the necessary skills and knowledge to succeed in the dynamic IT landscape. Remember, the distance learning format doesn't compromise on quality; with research and dedication, you can unlock your full potential and embark on a fulfilling IT career from the comfort of your own home.
For MCA colleges in india with low fees ,visit on :-
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career-cycles · 1 month
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Inspiring Your Career Path: Tips and Insights from Top Career Counselors in Toronto
Career planning can be a daunting task, but with the right guidance and resources, you can set yourself on a path to success and fulfillment. In this blog post, we will explore valuable tips and insights from experienced career counselors in Toronto, offering a comprehensive guide to help you navigate your career journey.
1. Seek Professional Guidance: Career Counselors Near Me
Finding a local career counselor can provide you with personalized advice and support tailored to your unique needs and aspirations. Career counselors near you can help assess your skills, interests, and values, guiding you towards suitable career options.
2. Utilize Career Counseling Services in Toronto
Toronto is home to many professional career counseling services that offer a range of support, from resume building to interview preparation. These services can provide you with the tools and strategies needed to succeed in a competitive job market.
3. Engage with Career Consultants in Toronto
Career consultants in Toronto can offer expert advice on job market trends, industry demands, and career development opportunities. They can help you make informed decisions about your career path and provide insights on how to advance in your chosen field.
4. Work with a Career Coach in Canada
A career coach can offer you tailored guidance and support throughout your career journey. They can help you set realistic goals, develop a career plan, and stay motivated. Career coaches in Canada are well-versed in the local job market and can provide valuable networking opportunities.
5. Focus on Career Development
Career development is a continuous process of learning and growth. Invest in yourself by seeking out professional development opportunities, such as workshops, courses, and certifications. This not only enhances your skill set but also makes you more attractive to potential employers.
6. Leverage Online Resources and Tools
In addition to in-person services, many career counseling and development resources are available online. Websites, webinars, and online courses can offer flexible and accessible ways to enhance your career planning efforts.
7. Network and Build Connections
Networking is a crucial element of career planning. Attend industry events, join professional associations, and connect with peers and mentors. Building a strong professional network can open doors to new opportunities and provide valuable support.
8. Stay Informed About Industry Trends
Keeping up with the latest trends and developments in your industry is essential. Subscribe to industry publications, follow thought leaders on social media, and participate in relevant discussions to stay informed and ahead of the curve.
9. Reflect and Reassess Regularly
Regular self-assessment and reflection are key to successful career planning. Take the time to evaluate your progress, reassess your goals, and make adjustments as needed. This ensures that you remain aligned with your personal and professional aspirations.
By utilizing these tips and leveraging the expertise of career counselors, consultants, and coaches in Toronto and beyond, you can effectively navigate your career path and achieve your professional goals. Whether you are just starting out or looking to make a career change, professional guidance can make a significant difference in your career development journey.
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graduatecoach · 2 months
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Bridging the gap between university and the workplace Graduate Coach program provides coaching, support and career advice to young students graduating from the engineering disciplines in Melbourne. https://graduatecoach.com.au/
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riversofmars · 1 year
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I see. Well I find companion support group absolutely amazing, been reading any fics on that especially ones with other companions being added but no one includes Grace Holloway. I asked someone else actively doing requests but turns out they haven't even seen the TV movie :( So was just wondering if you would be interested.
Alright, lovely Anon, here we are!! I really hope you like this, it ended up a lot longer than anticipated but it as a lot of fun and I don't do 'short', really, so XD
I hope you don't mind, I ended up combining two things: Grace's experience of visiting London and the support group and Liv's experience of staying in London post "Stranded". The two really compliment each other! Yes, somehow this turned into another Stranded Fix-It, sue me. Rating G, Length 7.3k, might be worth reading this one on AO3 rather than under the cut lol!
Hope you like it!
Missed Opportunities
Grace nearly turned around and walked away. It would have been a waste of a lot of money and holiday time but now that she was here, she simply felt stupid. "Here" was London. She had made the journey across the pond on nothing but a hunch and a memory. A memory that was over twenty years old. The average active working memory of a human was about ten years, she knew, things older tended to fade with the exception of deeply memorable events. After such a long time she couldn't be sure her memory was entirely accurate but things had certainly been... memorable. One mad New Year's Eve at the turn of the millennium...
Years later, whenever she spoke of it to anyone, they would make fun of her, assuming she'd simply had a bit too much to drink that night and ended in a vivid dream. Sometimes, when she was feeling particularly low, she almost believed that too. She rarely spoke of it now, to anyone. Most of the time, she didn't think about it at all anymore. She had carried on with her life, her career, had found love again and married, and things had been good... but there had always been that nagging feeling of a missed opportunity; of something amazing that she had allowed to slip through her fingers.
The Doctor. The Doctor and his mad blue box of tricks. The Master and his evil plan that they had foiled at the last moment. The Doctor's offer to see the universe with him. And the regret she felt for having turned him down. All but a distant dream.
At least until she had come across a social media post that struck too close to home. She hadn't even been thinking about the Doctor and New Year's 2000 at the time. She had been reading an article about the state of the UK's National Health Service and felt for her colleagues across the pond, but then, something in one of the comments on the article had given her pause. Things had spiralled from there. She had taken a deep dive into conspiracy theories, far removed from her scientific nature, and found an awful lot more than she had ever dreamed of.
And now she was in London, standing in front of what looked like a community centre with a support group advertised on the door. Of course it wasn't really a bereavement and loss counseling group - at least from what she had been able to find online. That was just a cover story. One could hardly advertise a meeting group for people who had once encountered a time travelling alien... and yet, she had made the jump across the pond with no other reason in mind. If it was a waste of her time, it would teach her not to trust things she found on the internet but if it wasn't... she had so many questions. Questions that had been weighing on her for over twenty years and if she could get answers to some of them, it would be well worth the trouble.
That, however, meant she had to take the plunge and actually go in.
Grace took a deep breath. She was a successful heart surgeon, accomplished and admired in every way, she could manage the task of walking inside a building, even taking the risk of making a fool of herself. What did she have to lose? No-one here knew her.
"Are you looking for something?" A voice drew her out of her internal conflict and made her jump.
"S-Sorry?" The surgeon stuttered, her head snapping around. She felt as if she had been caught red-handed, even if she knew she had done nothing wrong.
"It's just... you've been standing here a while." The voice belonged to a woman, slightly younger than Grace herself and significantly shorter, with shoulder-length brunette hair and bright eyes. Her brow had knitted into her curious frown as she approached.  
"Yeah I... I'm not sure I'm in the right place." Grace didn't know what to make of her. 
"You're not from around here, are you?" The brunette observed, tilting her head a little. "The accent," she clarified before the surgeon could muster a response. "I'm not either but I've been here a while now so... maybe I can help? What are you looking for?" It was a kind offer but Grace felt it wasn't one she could actually take her up on. That would have involved explaining why she was here...
"You'll laugh if I tell you," she tried to put her off and the other woman gave her a smile that did wonders to lighten her otherwise surly demeanour.
"I've heard it all. Don't worry," she gave back kindly and cast a glance towards the community centre. "What makes you come all this way from the US?"
"I-" Even if she had wanted to tell her, Grace wouldn't have known where to start. She was beginning to feel incredibly silly. "I'm sorry, this was a mistake, I don't know why I came here." She shook her head, looked up the road for a way out of the awkward situation. Her husband would laugh when he found out she had chickened out. He had been ever so supportive and encouraged her to go, hoping she would find some answers to the questions that had bothered her for the past twenty years. At least he believed her when so many others did not. He would be disappointed, surely, unless he had just indulged her all this time…
Grace turned to leave but then, the woman said something that made her stop dead in her tracks.
"You wouldn't happen to know a blue police box, would you?" She questioned and Grace whipped around.
"How do you-" She stared at her and the brunette grinned triumphantly.
"Thought as much," she chuckled and pulled a hand from her jumper, extending it. "I'm Liv Chenka."
Grace blinked, overwhelmed for a moment. If she knew about the police box it meant that- The surgeon wrestled her emotions back in check and quickly grasped her hand.
"Grace. Grace Holloway," she introduced herself and Liv smiled, almost knowingly.
"He's talked about you," she observed as she retreated her hand.
"What?"
"The Doctor," the brunette elaborated, her expression a picture of kindness. "We went to San Francisco once. 'Died and born again here' he said, of course we made him tell us about it," there was a certain wistfulness in her voice. "Lovely city, though I suppose we were there a bit before your time." Grace couldn't believe what she was hearing. Well, she could and she couldn't. It was utterly ridiculous. The woman in front of her insisted she had travelled in time with the person she had come to doubt ever existed. It was a lot to take in, almost more than she could comprehend, but the one thing that struck her, the one thing that stuck was: She hadn't made it up. The Doctor was real. And he was out there.
"So I-" She struggled for composure, tears of relief after years of nagging doubts and pent up tension threatened to overcome her.
"Are you okay?" Liv's expression turned to concern. She took a step closer but didn't seem to dare to reach out, not when Grace was visible trying to keep herself together.
"Yes... yes... I just... it's been twenty years... I thought perhaps..." She drew a deep breath and turned her gaze skywards to prevent her tears from falling. "I thought perhaps I had just made the whole thing up," she confessed at last.
"You haven't," Liv offered gently and didn't push for further explanation. Perhaps, Grace thought, if she knew the Doctor, she understood just what she was going through. "Do you want to come in?" The brunette offered and gestured towards the door of the community centre.
"I... I guess I should..." Grace remained hesitant. She followed her gaze. Where before, she had had doubts about why she was even here, she now found herself wondering if she had any place to be. She had met the Doctor only once whereas Liv seemed to know him better than that...
"Don't worry. We don't bite. Everyone's lovely and we all have stories to tell," Liv encouraged her, seemingly sensing her hesitation.
"So you... you travelled with him? Actually travelled in time?" Grace asked, feeling a twinge of jealousy at the notion, and the other woman nodded.
"I did, yeah, for a long time," she gave back and there was that wistfulness again. No, more than wistfulness. It was sadness. Sorrow.
"And now you're..." The surgeon wanted to ask more, even if it probably wasn't her place, but Liv interrupted her, gently, but decisively.
"Not," she clarified curtly. "We'll be late if we don't go in."
"Right, okay..." Grace nodded and Liv smiled before climbing the steps and holding the door open for her.
---
Grace wasn't sure what she had expected, but what she found was rather similar to the average AA meeting portrayed on TV. They were sitting in a circle on uncomfortable chairs with makeshift name tags and tea in paper cups. She usually would have preferred coffee over tea but since she was in the UK, she figured she ought to adapt. So she sipped the hot liquid and got absorbed in the task of assessing the people around the room. They were all sorts of ages, some older, some significantly younger than her. They had greeted her kindly and Grace had taken a seat next to Liv, accepting her unspoken offer of being her guide through it all.
The brunette had taken it upon herself to introduce her to everyone: A lovely elderly chap called Ian, a bubbly blonde by the name of Jo. Mel, a kind lady who had come to sit on her other side. There were Tegan and Ace and Kate... all pleasantly inquiring about her journey here... A young girl - Yaz - had greeted her eagerly, always happy to meet new people. And there were more: Graham, Ryan, Dan, Osgood, Martha, Gwen, Harry... Liv had explained that there were a lot more and that attendance fluctuated but already, Grace found herself overwhelmed by the sheer amount of people the Doctor had encountered in one way or another.
"We have a new member," Graham announced, making Grace snap to attention. She hadn't expected to take an active role in proceedings, she would have been quite content to simply sit and listen, but it seemed that was not to be.
"I- Yes, I- When I found out about this group I thought I ought to-" She blushed a little, uncomfortable in the centre of attention. Where the Doctor was concerned, she was out of her depth.
"You've come a long way," Kate observed kindly.
"Yes. I met the Doctor in San Francisco over twenty years ago..." Grace said and found everyone listening intently, with kind smiles and genuine interest. No-one was doubting her. No-one was making fun of her. And everyone understood. It was a wonderfully freeing feeling and she felt encouraged for it. "Just the once and I-" She took a deep breath. "I don't have that much of a story to tell, it was one night. One mad night of adventure, dealing with the Master and… I guess I'm just glad to have confirmed that I didn't make up the whole thing." 
"Well, you are in good company," Ace smiled and Grace felt as though a great burden was lifted off her shoulders at last. 
"It's difficult when no-one else understands... but we do. We've all been there, love," Jo said, seemingly sensing her emotional state.
"Thank you, that- that actually means a lot," Grace nodded gratefully and managed a small smile of her own while everyone beamed at her.
"It means a lot to all of us," Yaz replied. " The Doctor means a lot to all of us and being able to share our adventures, even if they're over... whether they were a big or a small part of our lives, we were all changed by it. We learned that there was so much more in the universe and that's such a wonderful gift." Her words betrayed a wisdom Grace wouldn't have thought someone as young as her capable of and her words shone with such affection, it was lovely to hear and lifted the surgeon's spirits more than she had thought possible. Perhaps she really had done the right thing by making the trip.
"The journey never ends," Tegan hummed in agreement and Yaz nodded.
"It doesn't," she agreed. "And we may see them again. Or we may not and that's also... fine..." It was obvious that the latter was something Yaz struggled voicing but she managed it. "But we're all connected by that wonderful, wondrous thing and that's something so special."
Grace found herself nodding, her heart a little lighter, even as she noticed Liv slumping in her chair beside her. Before she had a chance to enquire or wonder about the heaviness of her demeanour, Osgood demanded Grace's attention.
"What was your Doctor like? What did he look like? Where does he fit in?" She asked eagerly.
"Well, he... he was this little man before, he had been shot and... I was operating on him but he had two hearts!" Grace recalled, unpleasantly reminded by her failure to save his life back then.
"That can be quite confusing," Martha chuckled.
"I think I may have... killed him... by accident," Grace confessed, mortified by the whole experience.
"Let's just assume it was the gunshot wounds," Kate interjected.
"But then he came back. With a younger face and dark curls. He was quite dashing," the surgeon continued and a smile came to her lips as the memories took shape in her mind.
"Oh, that's him, alright," Liv hummed beside her. "Fairly certain we know the same Doctor. 
"So how many are there?" Grace asked, curious beyond belief by this point.
"Well, that's quite the difficult question," Osgood adjusted the glasses on her nose, obviously ready to launch into lengthy explanation but Mel interrupted:
"I remember his blonde curls..." she smiled fondly.
"I have met a fair few, it's quite the change every time," Kate carried on and Yaz shook her head, bemused:
"I always struggle to imagine her as a bloke!"
"Imagine our surprise!" Tegan shot back and the room descended into laughter, all except for Liv, as Grace noted with curiosity and concern. Something seemed to be weighing heavily on her and the surgeon wasn't sure whether if it was any of her business to try to figure out what it was. The brunette had been so kind to offer her help tomake this big step that meant so much to her, she would gladly return the favour.
"This is an awful lot to wrap your head around..." She stated, once the laughter had died down. "I never expected all this... it's more than I could have hoped for." And it really was. After over twenty years, she finally felt understood.
"You're one of us, Grace, feel free to dial in any time. I imagine making the trip would be quite the expense every time, what, without a TARDIS," Graham offered kindly.
"Thank you. Thank you all so very much, it just... thank you. It's wonderful to be surrounded by people that understand," she nodded gratefully, regarding each and every one of them with a smile.
"Oh boy, do we understand," Jo grinned. "Let me tell you about the time-"
---
When the meeting concluded, Grace felt it had been over far too quickly. As she said her goodbyes, it didn't feel like an end though, it felt like the beginning of many wonderful friendships and she couldn't be happier. With numbers and email addresses exchanged, she felt like she was well set up for the future. She would have stayed longer, chatting some more, if she hadn't noticed Liv making for the exit all by herself.
Grace quickly said her final goodbyes and rushed after her.
"Where are you going now?" She inquired boldly once she caught up with her outside.
"Just... home, I guess..." Liv answered slowly, surprised to have been followed.
"Do you want to grab a coffee? I haven't really got anything else planned and I- we didn't get to talk much," she observed and it was true. Everyone had spoken at length about their time with the Doctor, answered Grace's questions and shared their experiences. Liv, however, had remained pensive through most of it.
"Sure... why not..." The brunette shrugged and forced a smile. Her demeanour seemed changed to before the meeting, almost as if the event had taken a lot out of her. Perhaps it had... Grace was determined to find out as they headed towards a Costa Coffee across the road.
“You said you weren’t from around here?” Grace made a bold opening once they were seated, eager to find out more about her and thus, perhaps, learn what was bothering her. “Where is home for you?”
“Kaldor,” Liv answered simply and when it became obvious that Grace was at a bit of a loss, she elaborated: “A different planet.”
“Wow, that’s…” the surgeon didn’t know what to say to that and the brunette smiled, though the joy didn’t quite reach her eyes. 
“Been here a while now…” 
“Must be quite the change,” Grace observed and Liv gave a little shrug with her eyes angled down, watching her coffee splash up the sides of her mug as she stirred it.
“You could say that,” she hummed and Grace decided to take the plunge.
"If you don't mind me asking... you don't seem... happy... here,” she stated gently as that much was blindingly obvious. 
"I'm not," Liv shrugged nonchalantly and the surgeon was taken aback by her candour. It seemed as though she didn't see a need in pretending otherwise.
"Then why..." Grace wasn't sure how to phrase her question. What she wanted to ask was ‘Why would you stop travelling with the Doctor if you miss it so much’ but she couldn't very well say that, could she? Fortunately, Liv elaborated without her having to enquire.
"I... made a mistake... asked the Doctor to leave me here and I shouldn't have... now it's too late," she explained bitterly and indignantly dropped her spoon onto the saucer.
"You can't... you can't call him or-" Grace wasn't sure how the whole thing worked. Her experience was rather limited but she felt she ought to say something like it. 
"Doesn't work like that," Liv hummed miserably. "I wish I-" She took a deep breath but caught herself before saying any more. "You don't need to hear this." She shook her head and gave her a sad smile before she took a sip of her drink.
"I turned him down," Grace blurted out, voicing something she had purposefully not mentioned at the meeting and had had no intention of sharing with anyone, but suddenly she felt like she needed to. "The Doctor," she clarified when Liv raised her eyebrows at her. "He said I could come with him but I... didn't."
"And you regret it," the brunette observed with a knowing smile.
"A bit... maybe... I don't know. We had a mad adventure and that was quite the experience but I had a life... I still do. And I'm happy. Sometimes I just wonder what else there could have been," she gave a small shrug and awkward smile.
"A hell of a lot, is what. But if you're happy, that's not a bad place to be," Liv hummed after brief consideration. "Life with the Doctor is brilliant but also... it's not fulfilling in the same way. He's just... he's a mad dream. And he changes, as you've heard. He doesn't tie himself to one person or one companion or- Times change. He changes. Nothing is forever when you're with the Doctor," she gave a bitter laugh and Grace's heart went out to her. While she was lacking a lot of pieces to the puzzle, her pain was more than obvious. Liv dropped her eyes, taking keen interest in her coffee again as she fiddled with a napkin. "That concept of lasting happiness and fulfillment... that thing that humans need... you can't find that in him. You find that in-"
"Another human?" Grace offered as suddenly, the penny dropped.
"For instance, yeah," Liv mumbled and they way her shoulders slumped and she wiped her eyes awkwardly, told the surgeon everything she needed to know.
"So you weren't alone when you travelled with him? There was someone else?" She deduced. "Earlier when you said about visiting San Francisco, you said 'we made him tell us'."
"You are observant," Liv mumbled and Grace smiled:
"I'm a doctor, I have an eye for detail."
"I'm a doctor too, actually... well, a med-tech..." the brunette replied after a brief pause of heavy silence.
"You are?" Grace's eyebrows shot up, curious and eager to learn every detail she was willing to share.
"Yeah. In the future, in the 30 th century, which is where I'm from, medical professionals are called med-techs," she explained.
"30 th century?!" Grace gaped and Liv gave a little chuckle, a momentary reprieve from the heaviness that seemed to engulf her.
"So you can imagine 21 st century medicine is just not for me... I miss practising... I miss working..." She sunk into herself once more. "One of the many disappointments..."
"Why did you ask to stay here? If you don't mind my asking," Grace decided to brave the question. She was sure the other woman would simply refuse her if she pushed too far. She seemed like the sort of person that would.
"I... I met someone here," Liv answered after a moment of deliberation in which she seemed to be weighing her options. In the end, she appeared to settle on letting her in and Grace thought that maybe, Liv, too, needed someone to understand her. "We were stranded for a while in 2020 when the TARDIS wasn't working and... things were going well, I thought it would... it was nice, good, for a while but it didn't last. There was just too much that made me unhappy here. The fact I couldn't work. Knowing I would never see my sister again... Missing my-" Liv broke off and Grace thought she knew where she was going.
"The other person that was travelling with you?"
"Sometimes you just can't see what's right in front of you, can you..." the med-tech gave a sad smile.
"I'm sorry," Grace offered as there wasn't much else she could say. What was there to say? She knew all about missed opportunities...
"Me too," Liv took a deep breath. "But what's done is done, I'm stuck here now and... What about you? Sounds like you made the right decision staying here. New isn't always better," she seemed eager to change the topic.
"I still would have liked to see some of the universe, I think..." the surgeon answered softly.
"Who knows... maybe he'll pop by eventually and you can ask for a little trip. If he does, you better call me though so he can-" Liv stopped herself once more, apparently unwilling to indulge the hope that she didn't seem to have anymore.
"There must be something you can do," Grace reached out across the table for Liv's hand and gave it a squeeze of comfort. "You can't just... I mean, what do you do? If you can't work, if you-" She didn't want her to give up. It simply felt wrong. For someone to be stuck in the wrong time, the wrong place, all alone. She wished there was something she could do to help.
"Sit at home, mostly, dream about the stars... I mean, I can do some things... UNIT... this top secret government organisation that Kate Stewart runs? I help them every now and then with technology, freelance, sort of... but it's... when I get home, I'm still all alone," Liv confessed miserably. "And Tania- that's who I was with, who I stayed for... She's lovely. She still tries to be a friend to me but it's... it's not fair on her and I don't want to be a burden, I just want-" Tears welled up in her expressive eyes.
"Your other friend back?" Grace made an educated guess. "It's not really about the Doctor, is it?"
"Yeah..." Liv mumbled and a thought struck the surgeon.
"Have you told anyone else?" She questioned, considering the effort it had taken to get the truth out of the med-tech.
"What do you mean?" Liv frowned.
"The rest of the group? You were there but you... well, everyone had something to say but you didn't," Grace observed. Everybody had been so eager in their response, so kind, Grace couldn't imagine they wouldn't want to help Liv as well if she had said what was weighing on her.
"I've told them about my adventures with the Doctor," the med-tech answered, almost defensively.
"But have you told them about this? That you want to find a way to get back to them?" Grace wasn't dissuaded.
"They don't need to hear about my heartbreak," Liv huffed.
"Maybe they do. Maybe someone has a way to, I don't know, reach out?" The surgeon carried on. "Unless you tell them that you need help, that you're unhappy, they won't think to offer it."
"I suppose..." the med-tech mumbled.
"What about that technology that you were talking about? From UNIT? Could you not-" She was stabbing in the dark now. She had no idea what it took to reach out to the Doctor but surely with all the expertise gathered in that community centre, they could work something out. The other former companions all seemed to have closure, Liv, however...
"What's the use... why would they take me back after I walked away?" The med-tech huffed and Grace felt she was getting closer to the root course of it all.
"So the reason is not that you couldn't reach out, it's that you won't," she deduced and Liv couldn't muster a response. She simply looked incredibly guilty and it was all the confirmation Grace needed so she carried on: "I mean, I'm a heart surgeon, not a psychiatrist but... maybe forgive yourself for your mistake, be ready to admit to it and... try. Just try. Else you will regret it for the rest of your life." That was something she could attest to and Liv easily picked up on it too:
"Like you're regretting not going with the Doctor?"
"A missed opportunity, yes..." she admitted with a wistful smile. "Perhaps we could... both... just... try. See what happens. And if nothing comes of it at least we can say we tried."
"Are you hoping I can get you a meeting with the Doctor?" Liv raised her eyebrows and her lips curled into a smile that blew away the heaviness of the moment. It felt as though they were coming out the other side at last.
"Maybe..." Grace gave a sheepish grin as well as she felt the atmosphere around them lighten with a sudden rush of excitement and optimism. Perhaps it was false hope but what if it wasn't… It was the sort of closure she felt she needed after everything and well, her new friend stood a lot more to gain.
"Bit cheeky, isn't it? Bit selfish," Liv grinned, amused.
"It would mean reuniting you with your friend, too," Grace reminded her and Liv didn't seem able to argue with that. Instead she confessed:
"I left because I didn't think Helen would ever feel the same way about me as I did for her and I thought at least with Tania, I could find some measure of contentment."
"But you didn't," Grace deduced, understanding at last with all the cards on the table.
"I didn't," Liv admitted sorrowfully.
"Does it matter how Helen feels about you?" Grace asked tentatively. Without knowing any of the women in question, it was difficult to judge the situation. The best she could hope for was that Liv would explain in greater detail.
"She's likely angry..." the med-tech mumbled, hanging her head. "She didn't want me to leave but she also didn't- I wanted her to say something, for her to admit that- if-" she gestured vaguely at nothing at all and Grace understood anyway. "I shouldn't have pushed, I should have been happy to just have her in my life in whatever capacity and not been so selfish." She gnawed her bottom lip anxiously. "I don't know if she'd forgive me."
"Surely it's worth a shot," the surgeon offered gently. "I think you've punished yourself enough."
"Do you... do you really think so?" Liv sounded ever so insecure as she looked up to her and Grace smiled:
"If you have a way to contact them, if you have that opportunity... don't miss it."
"Come on then," Liv jumped to her feet, releasing her hand and abandoning her coffee.
"Where are we going?" Grace frowned, confused.
"My place. And I'm warning you now, it's a state." She barely looked back as she spoke, making for the door.
"And what-" The surgeon scrambled to grab her handbag and downed the rest of her coffee in one go.
"I've built something... I signalling device... with bits and pieces I took from UNIT. I just haven't..." Liv waved for her to come along and she did.
"Why not?" Grace couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"I didn't think it was a good idea, I didn't think I..." Liv let her voice trail off as she left the coffee shop. Once out in the fresh air, the med-tech took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts and her emotions before she squared her jaw and made a decision: "But you're right, I just need to take the plunge and- and even if Helen doesn't want me there, at least I can ask the Doctor to take me to Kaldor where my sister is... at least there I can work and have an actual life..."
"That sounds like a good idea," Grace agreed, it made a lot of sense and she was swept up in her excitement as they hurried up the street.
"Besides... you came all this way to London, can't have you waste another opportunity," Liv grinned, casting a sideways glance at her.
"Thank you," the surgeon gave a weak smile as well.
"Don't thank me yet. I don't even know if it'll work. Or if the right Doctor will turn up, or-" Liv fixed her eyes forward once more.
"But at least we will have tried," Grave interjected and the med-tech nodded in agreement:
"At least we will have tried." That's all any of them could do.
---
"This is..." Grace didn't really have words to describe the state of her new friend's flat at 107 Baker Street. 'Mess' was probably the most accurate term. Dishes were stacked high. The place could do with a good hoover and dusting. There was stuff everywhere. She didn't need to be a psychiatrist to spot the symptoms of depression littered around the place.
"I did tell you not to expect too much," Liv didn't pay much attention to her, she marched over to a shelf. "Now let me just..." 
What struck Grace was how empty the place seemed once you looked past the mess. There wasn't much in the way of personal effects, just a few books and dvds here and there but otherwise, not much filled the empty space and empty life... One thing she spotted as she wandered over to the sofa was a stack of photos. They lay spread over the setteegb and coffee table, some had even dropped to the floor. They were snapshots as one might take with their phone and they featured three people again and again. Liv, of course, was in many of them and there was the Doctor. Grace recognised him immediately even if his wardrobe was a little less extravagant and his hair had had a cut. His smile was as radiant as ever. There was a second woman too. A blonde with a bright smile and kind eyes. It didn't take a genius to work out that this was Helen. She was in almost every picture, the obvious object of adoration of the photographer.
"These are lovely pictures," Grace observed as she picked one from the pile in which the three of them were beaming at the camera while eating ice cream.
"It's... it's all I have of them," Liv answered in a small voice and blushed self-consciously.
"It's definitely him," the surgeon pointed out the Doctor and Liv nodded as she made her way over, carrying a small device unlike anything Grace had ever seen before.
"Good," the med-tech smiled as she set it down on the coffee table. “That should make things easier if this does work…”
"And this is Helen I take it?" Grace asked, pointing out the blonde in the picture and the way Liv's face lit up told her everything she needed to know.
"Yeah..." She reached out and took the picture, brushing her thumb across the surface before gathering the pile together. Grace noticed the way in which some pictures had creased and others bore tear stains... she hoped they would succeed in their endeavour. "Here we are..." Liv turned to the device on the coffee table.
"Are you okay?" The surgeon asked and received an absent-minded nod. There clearly was a lot going on in the other woman's mind.
"Yeah..." She confirmed nonetheless and took a deep breath.
"Maybe run a brush through your hair," Grace joked to stop her overthinking and it worked.
"OI!" Liv exclaimed, affronted and amused but before she could put up a defense a voice sounded from the other side of the room.
"Bit late for that."
Both women whirled around and there, in the doorway to the kitchen, stood the Doctor, regarding both of them with a kind smile.
"Doctor?!" Liv found her voice first and exclaimed. Her eyes shot in between her device and the Time Lord and back again. She hadn't even activated it yet! "How did you- when?!"
"Been here a while... you really did let this place go. That'll teach me entrusting you with my things," he mused, scanning the room with keen eyes. Finally, his attention turned to Grace and he smiled: "Hello Grace," he stated simply and the surgeon was stunned into silence.
"What?! How?!" Liv continued raging while Grace just about managed a small smile of greeting:
"Doctor."
"I haven't even..." Liv pointed at the device and the Doctor chuckled.
"I've had a message from UNIT, as it happens," he revealed and his expression turned more serious as he regarded his friend with concern: "Messages of concern. Someone called Kate Stewart? And from Tania too..."
"I-" Liv didn't seem to know what to say and Grace felt validated in her previous assessment. Of course the others had wanted to help and Liv's state of being had not gone unnoticed.
"But I see you have found lovely company," the Doctor observed with a smile to Grace who still didn't really know what to say or do. Liv, meanwhile, seemed to be pulling herself together and realise what was truly important now:
"Doctor, where is..." She didn't get to finish her question. Helen appeared beside the Doctor.
"Hello Liv," the blonde spoke softly, insecurely.
"Helen!" At that, Liv lost all remaining inhibitions. She rushed forward, closed the short space between them, and pulled her into a bone crushing hug.
"And you, Grace? Here of all places? How have you been?" The Doctor turned from the display of affection, pure and heart-warming as Liv mumbled apologies and Helen held on to her tightly, evidently more than happy to forget all about it. Grace's attention snapped to the Doctor.
"I-" She had had so many questions, so many things she'd wanted to say but now that it came to it, she couldn't phrase any of them and instead, chose to devote her attention to the lovely reunion they were witness to. 
"Helen, I'm so sorry, I should never have-" Liv pulled away and brushed tears from her eyes. "I'm sorry, please forgive me, it was a mistake," she pleaded. "All I wanted was for you to- But it doesn't matter. I don't need any of that, I just need you back in my life and I-" Her words spilled out of her like a waterfall and it seemed Helen had heard more than enough already.
"Liv, shut up," she whispered, her voice heavy with tears of her own. And she silenced her with a kiss. Grace wanted to cheer but she settled for a content smile, one the Doctor shared. Helen pulled back and took Liv's face in her hands. The med-tech stood petrified gaping in surprise and wonder, and Helen elaborated: "I'm sorry too. I should have just... spared us both a lot of heartbreak." She brushed her thumbs over her cheeks affectionately, catching her tears.
"So you'll take me back, you'll-" Liv stuttered insecurely and Helen smiled, just as self-consciously:
"If you'll have me."
"Shall we carry this on in the TARDIS?" The Doctor interrupted before she could meet in another kiss. He ushered them along into the kitchen, then turned to look back: "Come along, Grace."
"I-" The surgeon didn't know what to say. She didn't feel like she had a place here, she didn't want to intrude but the Doctor was insistent:
"Come on. Someone else will have to clean up this mess... might call a removal company..." She looked around the place, wrinkling his nose.
"OI!" Liv exclaimed and he grinned:
"There's that snarky med-tech I've been missing."
"We were just about to call you, actually..." Grace decided to explain as she caught up with them. They weren't going far. The TARDIS was standing in the middle of the kitchen and the Doctor opened the door for them.
"So timing couldn't have been any better," he observed joyfully as they stepped inside. "Tea! Where are my manners, would you like some? Helen, Liv? Would you mind?"
"Not at all," Helen smiled and grabbed Liv's hand to lead her away, further into the TARDIS as Grace remained with the Doctor.
"Don't get lost on the way! Straight to the kitchen! Time for everything else later!" He called after them, then devoted his attention to Grace who was looking around the console room. It had changed since she had last seen it twenty-odd years ago but some things remained the same. She couldn't believe she still recognised them after all that time... it was even bigger than she remembered... "It's been a while," the Doctor observed as if he had read her thoughts.
"Yes... yes, I suppose it has," she answered softly, still taking in the wonders of it all.
"How have you been?" He asked and her attention snapped back to him.
"Good, I- yeah, I've been good," she answered at last, shaking her head free of the distractions. "Married. Working. I've been involved in some fascinating research of- But you don't need to hear that. Of course. That's all in the past for you." She realised how utterly small and insignificant it had to appear to him. It gave her pause.
"But I do! I do! I want to hear all about your life, your accomplishments, your adventures," he encouraged her enthusiastically  and she wanted to believe him.
"Hardly adventures. Not like yours," she answered, trying her best not to sound jealous.
"Why not? Every day is an adventure, you step in front of your door and never know where the path will lead you," he beamed.
"Just like you step out of your blue box and you never know where you end up?" She asked and he nodded.
"I suppose so, yes." And then he added more seriously: "Not every adventure is about saving the universe."
"I regret it," Grace gave a soft smile.
"What?" He frowned in response and she explained:
"That I didn't come with you. Not all the time. Not when I think about what I have and what I have accomplished, I'm happy but- there is always that little nagging voice of 'what if'..." her voice trailed off and the Doctor took advantage to fill the space with words of his own:
"I'm proud of you. For what you have done. What you have accomplished. And I'm ever so glad to know you," he took a step closer to her. "Maybe we missed a trick, you and me, but also, maybe, it was always meant to be this way."
"You seem to have so many wonderful friends," Grace thought back to the group she had met only hours ago and she wasn't sure whether to be jealous that she never got as much time with him as they had, or to be glad to be counted among them. 
"I have. And you're one of them," the Doctor spoke to the latter but she couldn't quite accept or believe it.
"Hardly compares, one night of adventure versus years of shared experiences, shared..."
"That doesn't make it any less significant," the Doctor interrupted. "Besides, the journey is never over." At that, Liv and Helen returned. Helen was carrying a tray of cups and Liv a pot of tea and a tray of biscuits.
"How do you take your tea, Grace? Do Americans drink tea?" Helen asked kindly as she set the china down on a small table in between some armchairs. 
"Where would you like to go?" The Doctor posed an altogether more intriguing question.
"What?" Grace had been good and ready to answer Helen but the Doctor's words interrupted her train of thought.
"If you could go anywhere in time and space. I have nothing else on," he shrugged and looked to his other friends. "I have put right a great wrong, everything else for today is just... fun."
"You're not serious," Grace couldn't believe what she was hearing.
"I imagine Liv and Helen will want some time to themselves so how about it? You pick a destination and we have a little adventure," he beamed and gave a dismissive wave to his companions. "They can get up to whatever they want to get up to in private-"
"Doctor!" Liv scowled and Helen blushed but the Time Lord didn't pay attention to either.
"-and we explore."
"Anywhere? In space and time?" Grace asked, her voice more shaky than she would have liked and the Doctor nodded enthusiastically.
"And I can have you back here in an instant. Maybe not here... wouldn't want to put you through that again. But I can take you home after," he offered.
"Go on, Grace. You deserve this. Don't waste more time on indecision. No more missed opportunities," Liv smiled at her as she grabbed Helen's hand. The blonde smiled in agreement:
"No more missed chances."
Grace couldn't help but smile too. Liv's demeanour was completely changed. Where she had been muted, pensive and surly before, joy now shone from every aspect of her being. It was lovely to see and the same joy and hope radiated off her lovely companion too. It seemed as though the time in between had been washed away without a trace.
"We can't turn back the clock but we can carry on where we left off. All of us," the Doctor observed and Liv nodded:
"I'd like that."
"Me too," Helen agreed and they all turned their attention to Grace, awaiting her decision.
"Just one trip!" She exclaimed at last. "I have to- and nothing too dangerous, I have patients relying on me and my husband-" A world of possibilities opened up in front of her and while she didn't want to spend her life in the stars as some did, she at least wanted to see what was out there.
"You will be back before you know it," the Doctor promised kindly. "So what do you say? Come with me? With us?"
"Yes. This time, I'll say yes," Grace grinned.
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gitanjali2002 · 4 months
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