#carrot white russian

[foodfuck]

bunny lebowski - carrot white russian · craft and cocktails

[sapphic-coded]

I Swear That I Don't Have A Gun

You grew up in Ohio with your father, brother, and sister. Your family was small and strange. Because of that, you were picked on relentlessly at school. Until another weird kid showed up. Her family moved in across the street from you. It wasn't long until the two of you became friends. Your friendship became the light in your life. Until it ended suddenly. Rumors followed your friend's disappearance. Russian spies. You didn't see her again until you crossed paths at work.

Series Masterlist

Natasha Romanoff x fem Reader

Warnings: Violence. Reader is a messed up assassin and did not choose her codename. Childhood trauma hanging out in the background. Minors DNI.

Word Count: 5.3k

Author's Note: When writer ADHD hits, it hits. Sorry for the wait friends. Been working on this for a comically long time. Thank you for all the love and support for this series. I love that you love this. Enjoy!

Taglist: @natsxwife @iliketozoneout @newawakening9 @natasha-1million @ilovemcuff @taliiiaasteria @alowint @yerisdumbass @natashasilverfox

Chapter Seven: You Don't Know Me

Mount Vernon, Ohio – 1993

You counted the small rocks in your black gloved hand. Neither one looked the same. All were varying shades of gray. A few were smooth and round while others were rough with sharper edges. It was the best of what you could find around the neighborhood. You looked up when you heard the sound of footsteps crunching in the snow. 

The ends of Nat’s blue hair spilled out of her dark gray knitted hat. Her black puffy jacket swallowed up most of her body. In her white gloved hands was a single stick. It wasn’t very long. Hardly more than four inches. Some pine needles still hung off of it. You watched as she approached while the chill that hung in the air after the first snowfall stabbed at your cheeks. 

“Aren’t we supposed to use a carrot?” you asked as she came to stand next to you. You were also pretty sure that you were supposed to use coal instead of rocks. 

“My mom already cut up the one we have,” Nat replied. 

You certainly didn’t have any carrots lying around at home. Your refrigerator and Nat’s were so different that it was jarring the first time you saw it. You hadn’t realized how much food one refrigerator could hold when you didn’t have to make room for your father’s weekly experiments. 

You looked at the headless snowman in front of you. You had spent the better part of the last two hours alongside Nat and her younger sister building the snowman in front of their house. The snowman’s base was large, round, and a bit lopsided. But it supported the slightly smaller packed ball of snow on top of it. You and Nat had done your best to brush off any dirt or blades of grass that stuck to the snow. Now you waited for Yelena to return with the snowman’s head. 

You heard Nat shift next to you while you stared at the empty spot where the snowman’s head will go. You wondered what kind of person this snowman would be. It was a shame when your brother told you years ago that snowmen don’t actually come to life after they are built. There’s no singing or dancing. It was as your father put it when he overheard your conversation:

“It is a byproduct of man’s lust for godhood.”

But maybe they did come to life. In secret. Perhaps at night. You read about all kinds of supposedly fake creatures coming to life in secret in your sister’s books. If it was possible, would this snowman end up being a good person or a bad one? Would the lack of a carrot make a difference? 

“Are you going somewhere?” Nat asked. 

You looked at her and found her looking across the street. You followed her gaze. Outside on your driveway was your father. The trunk of his station wagon hung open while he shoved a couple large bags into it. His back remained toward you and you hoped it would stay that way. The freshly plowed street put enough distance between him and you that you felt like you could breathe normally without him noticing. 

Your gaze landed back on Nat. “My father is attending a convention. It’s a tradition.” 

“What kind of convention?” she asked. 

You shrugged. “One for people like him.” 

He would come back giddy from talking with his fellow scholars. You knew that when he returned you and your siblings would be forced to spend at least three hours trapped at the kitchen table with nothing to eat but plenty to listen to. If something particularly interesting happened, you would definitely be trapped at the table for five hours. 

“You’re not going with him?” she asked. 

You heard the trunk of your father’s station wagon slam shut. You looked over your shoulder and watched as your father started back up the driveway. You looked at Nat and shook your head. “Kids aren’t allowed.” 

Yelena hurried around the house from the backyard carrying a mostly round snowman sized head. It was pretty impressive when she reached you guys. Since you both were taller, you and Nat carefully took the soon to be snowman head and set it on top of its cold, round body. You pushed one smooth light gray rock into the snowman’s left eye socket and then pushed a square black rock into its right. You let Yelena help you set the rest of the rocks into a wide smile. Nat pushed the stick into the middle of the snowman’s face. Then, all three of you stepped back to admire your work. 

“We should give him a name,” Yelena said. 

You tried to imagine the snowman’s rock eyes blinking. You imagined puffs of white mists slipping from between his rocky lips. You tried to imagine him with a carrot for a nose. “He looks like an Ian.” 

You heard Yelena giggle and when you looked at Nat you saw the beginnings of a smile curling her lips. 

Triskelion, Washington D.C.  – 2012

Being part of a team sucks. There are rules you have to follow. Sure, there were rules back when you were working for your father. But those rules were different. You could bend and shape them into whatever you needed. As long as the job was done, your father was content. Maybe he’d nitpick if the job got messy. But you had the freedom of choice. There were so many ways to kill people. Some days your imagination would run wild with new possibilities. You had yet to surprise a target in their bathroom and drop a toaster into their bathtub while they were bathing. Then there was the old classic you had yet to try. This idea demanded the perfect costume, but tying a target to train tracks and watching a high speed train obliterate their body into nothing more but tiny bloody chunks would be great fun. 

You loved that part of the job almost as much as you loved watching your target’s life drain from their eyes. But now that freedom is gone. You don’t get to decide how you are going to do your job. You are told. Ordered. The worst is when you’re not even allowed to kill your target. You remember the first time you were given that bizarre job. You remember how punchable your target’s face was. You remember how easy it would have been to just push the ridiculous man over the edge. No one would have known. But you couldn’t. You watched that opportunity pass you by and you wanted to scream. 

You did scream. At Rumlow. You cornered him and demanded to know why. Why did they keep fucking with your head? 

He reminded you of your role. The chains that kept you bound to these nonsensical rules. You work for SHIELD. You don’t kill targets unless SHIELD wants you to kill them. You keep to your role and you don’t raise suspicions. You live out the story Rumlow crafted for you. He found you on one of his missions. He saw your potential and peeled you up off the ground like some frozen, sick, dying, abandoned mutt. He molded you into the weapon you are now. A weapon he happily handed to SHIELD. 

You hate that story. You hate it more than the stupid suit he forces you to wear. The black tactical suit covers every inch of your body from your neck down to your feet. It had taken a while to get used to the added weight of the black body armor attached to the suit. You still don’t like it. It makes you feel as if you are a child running around with pillows tied to your chest and a foam sword in your hand. But it’s the mask that feels the most suffocating. Despite being able to hear clearly from within the black helmet, you feel cut off from the world. The black tinted visor that conceals your face is full of fancy technology that often gets in the way when you are just trying to watch your target die. You hate the stupid suit. You hate that you can’t do anything without having to wear it. The only time you can strip the stupid costume off and breathe in lungfuls of air conditioned air is in your bunk buried beneath all the levels of SHIELD and fake SHIELD and real HYDRA. 

But if you could choose, you’d stick with the stupid suit if you could craft a different story. Preferably one that didn’t include anyone molding you into anything. But that freedom is gone, and all you have is a boatload of memories to distract you from how angry you are. That anger burns deep inside you. It fuels your every step as you walk alongside Rumlow down a bright, busy hallway. You ignore all the data that blinks across the inside of your visor screen with every SHIELD agent that hurries by. In the beginning you had been curious, but now all the data was familiar and boring. Mostly low level clearance agents with spotless records because they never did anything but sit at their desks or hurry around places looking busy. 

You walk out into a large hangar and board one of the waiting Quinjets. You spy two empty seats in the cockpit and a black duffel bag resting on one of the seats in the cargo bay. Rumlow hands you a small, black flash drive. You roll your eyes despite knowing that he can’t see your face. If he let you take off the damn helmet you could read the mission briefings perfectly fine. You didn’t need to clog up your visor’s hub with all the unnecessary tidbits of information on your targets. You hate this role. 

“This one is routine,” Rumlow begins as you insert the flash drive into the slot along the backside of your helmet. Almost instantly, information clogs up your interior visor screen. “Your target is Tomek Sikora. He’s an arms dealer that SHIELD has kept an eye on.” The picture of your target fills up your visor. Tall, muscular build. Short, dirty blonde hair. Blue eyes. Mid thirties. “We have good intel that he’s operating out of an abandoned storefront in Bardstown, Kentucky. His main clientele is HYDRA.” 

Your visor floods with images of your target standing with or shaking hands with other important looking men and women. A few of the faces look familiar, but the images scroll too quickly across your visor for you to be certain. 

“Your objective is to shut down Sikora’s operation,” Rumlow says. “SHIELD would prefer Sikora alive, but if you have no choice, do what is necessary.” 

The coded orders hidden behind his words brings a small hint of relief. A nice simple kill. You know that if you read more into the file scrolling across your visor that you could piece together why real HYDRA wants Sikora dead. But you don’t care. All you care about is watching your target die. All you care about at this moment is that you won’t be forced to watch your target walk away breathing. A straightforward mission is exactly what you need. Something easy. Sikora will probably put up some kind of fight. You’ll engage and end it when it feels right. 

You pull the flash drive from the slot at the back of your helmet. Your visor clears. 

“Rollins will accompany you on this mission,” Rumlow says. 

Eh. It could be wors–

“Slight change of plan.”

Both you and Rumlow turn towards the open cargo bay door. You see her clearly through your visor screen. You feel the chains of your boredom lift. That familiar energy that buzzes right beneath your skin awakens. You haven’t seen her since you put a bullet through Erik’s head. Even then, you can’t count that as your official last parting. You were buried beneath your costume. She didn’t know you were there. Because if she did, she wouldn’t have let you go like that. 

The weight of the costume you wear now feels heavier as you watch her ascend up the Quinjet’s ramp. She’s dressed in civilian clothes. You love the black, leather jacket that she wears over her red shirt. Dark denim jeans cover the length of her legs, and a gun sits in a black holster strapped to her right thigh. You’re envious of her clothes. You want to look into her wardrobe. You want to strip out of this stupid suit and wear anything else. 

“Agent Romanoff,” Rumlow greets. 

Nat. Your teeth bite into your lower lip. You know you can’t say anything. The rules of your role have been drilled into your head. You don’t speak. You only act. If anyone asks questions, Rumlow has your pathetic sob story ready to share. You know all this. You know you must comply. But you really want to say something. 

Her olive green eyes settle on you as she steps into the cargo bay. You instantly miss the recognition as she looks at you. Her eyes travel up and down the length of your body, taking in your forced getup. You want her to see right through it. You want her to say your name and rip the damn mask from your face so the chase can resume. 

“What’s the update?” Rumlow asks. 

Her attention shifts to him. “Rollins can’t make it. He’s in medical. I’m filling in.” 

Now you really really want to say something. You watch as she walks over to where the black duffel bag sits. A smile stretches across your face. You had wanted to start slow. A coffee date scheduled on a day that neither one of you needed to even think about work. But if you can’t have that, then you will happily take this. 

“That’s not necessary,” Rumlow replies. 

Your smile drops away, and you turn your head to give Rumlow the most threatening glare he will never see. He ignores you as Nat zips up her duffel bag and looks over at him. 

“I’ll get one of the other guys to fill in for Rollins,” Rumlow continues. “It’s a routine operation, and you’re needed for more Avenger missions.” 

You wonder what would happen if you punched Rumlow in the face. If you swing hard enough, there is a good chance you could knock him out. That would give you a couple seconds to say something to Nat before all hell breaks loose. You’d definitely apologize for the stupid thing you said before. And if Rumlow didn’t go down in one punch, you could always follow it up with a solid kick. 

“Fury disagrees,” Nat replies. 

The name sparks two recent memories of the Director of SHIELD. Both memories consisted of you standing in this stupid suit and staring at the bald man with an eyepatch while he interrogated Rumlow about you. You played the part of a lost puppy well enough despite wanting to smash your head into the closest wall. 

“Besides,” Nat looks first at you and then back to Rumlow, “I’ve been dying to meet your new sidekick.” 

Oh god. That one hurt. 

“They’re not much of a talker,” Rumlow says. 

You have so much to say. 

“We’ll figure it out,” Nat replies. 

Rumlow shakes his head, but finally relents. He looks at you. “Stay focused. I expect results.” 

You watch as he steps out of the cargo bay and descends down the jet’s ramp. For a moment, you can’t believe your luck. You thought that Rumlow would have done just about anything to rip you away from Nat. He had made sure to keep you as far away from her as possible. But the reality of your amazing luck settles when Nat comes to stand next to you. 

“Has he taught you how to fly one of these?” she asks. 

You shake your head. 

“Okay,” she says. “I’ll fly. You fill me in on the mission.” 

This is the greatest day of your life. 

The Quinjet, Kentucky Sky – A Short Time Later

You pull the flash drive free from the tablet’s port. The tablet’s screen goes blank while the hub screen built into your interior helmet visor lights up with a selection of unnecessary data about the tablet. Battery at 68%. No security update needed. Software version 3.8.27. You don’t understand why you are forced to tolerate the random extra tech. Rumlow told you it was to make your story more realistic. You still didn’t understand how something only you see makes others believe you more. 

You look up from the tablet, and the extra data clears. Bright sunlight floods the cockpit. The sky outside is so blue that it is almost painful to look at. You are sitting in the co-pilot seat. The various buttons and screens stretched across the dashboard mean nothing to you. Nat has been doing all the flying. All you’ve done is find a SHIELD issued tablet and plugged in the flash drive so Nat could review the details of your mission. So far she’s asked you easy questions about the mission. Your answers are simple nods or a shake of your head. You want to say more. You need to say more. But you stay quiet. You comply with your role. 

But there is sweet happiness in your forced silence. You look over to the empty pilot seat next to you. Nat left a few minutes ago to change after switching on the autopilot. You are tempted to lift up your helmet and sniff the pilot seat. You want to know what she smells like. You want to peel your black gloves off and touch the cushions of the seat. Feel the warmth left behind by her touch. A couple different scenarios float through your head and each one is far more entertaining than sitting in silence. But at least you get to be near her. You don’t have to hurry off and leave her. Despite all these stupid rules, you’ve discovered a piece of freedom that kept eluding you before. 

You turn your gaze forward when you hear Nat emerge from the tiny bathroom directly behind the cockpit. She settles back into the pilot’s seat. Her casual clothes are gone. You miss the leather jacket, but the black catsuit is a warm familiar memory. You tuck the flash drive into one of your suit’s many pockets. 

“Shouldn’t be long now,” she comments as her green eyes dart across the various screens and lit buttons. “About fifteen minutes out.” 

There’s a moment when you taste that bitterness of disappointment. You don’t want this to end. The two of you up in the sky without anyone else to distract you. But that moment ends when you remember what’s to come. For the first time you won’t be on opposing sides. Sort of. Not exactly. But it sends a thrill through you. 

“So,” she looks over at you, “Silent Type.” 

You frown at the stupid codename. You know she can’t see your face, but she sees something because she starts to smile. The tablet’s screen comes back to life as you navigate to the application you need. A virtual keyboard pops up along the lower half of the tablet. Your gloved fingers are quick as you type your message. You turn the tablet around so she can read it. 

Rumlow’s idea. Not mine. 

Your answer seems to amuse her more as she nods. 

“That does sound like a name he would come up with,” she says. 

You turn the tablet to face you again and delete what you wrote. Your fingers are quick to tap out another message. 

Did you choose your codename? 

Her smile falls a bit as she reads your question. “What did Rumlow tell you about me?” 

It doesn’t take you long to delete your question and type out your reply. 

Avenger. 

“That’s it?” she asks. 

You lower the tablet and nod. It’s not entirely a lie. Rumlow had spent most of his time preparing you for this stupid role. That meant filling your head with a bunch of random bullshit about fake SHIELD and real HYDRA. He trained you to remember your story. He did his best to polish off the grime of freelance and make you seem more refined. He rarely brought up Nat. And when he did, he never let you think about her for long. 

“I guess we’ll need to get to know each other better after this mission,” she says. 

More time with Nat? This day just gets better and better. Your fingers tap against the tablet’s digital keyboard again. When you lift up the tablet, you are very interested in her answer. 

What did Rumlow say about me?

“You’re his pet project,” she says as her smile returns. 

You frown. You want to somehow clarify that you are nobody’s pet project, but one of the buttons on the dash lights up and steals Nat’s attention. You watch as she turns off the autopilot and takes control of the Quinjet. 

“We’re approaching our target,” she reaches up and flips a switch. “I’ll set us down somewhere close. With our stealth systems engaged, they shouldn’t be able to spot us.” 

You turn your head and look out at the bright blue sky. While you love the quality time with Nat, you also need to come up with a plan for this mission. Rumlow’s coded orders had been clear. Kill Sikora. If Rollins had joined you on this mission, you wouldn’t have needed to do much thinking beyond when to kill your target. But Nat’s fantastic presence complicated things. You doubt that she’s part of fake SHIELD. Which meant putting a bullet in Sikora’s head outright wouldn’t go over well. Especially if your target decides to surrender. 

Your plan starts to take shape within your mind as Nat guides the concealed Quinjet towards the ground. It’s a simple plan. Draw your target away from Nat and kill him where it is just you and him. It would ruin the foreplay. You probably wouldn’t have much time and would need to kill Sikora quickly. But you’d get to talk to Nat later which seemed like a generous trade. 

The bright onslaught on sunlight fades as Nat sets the Quinjet down in a clearing surrounded by eastern white pine trees. Based on the data you had skimmed earlier, the abandoned storefront your target is operating out of is just north of your location. When the Quinjet’s engines fall quiet, you stand. You leave the tablet on your seat as you head for the cargo bay. You approach a metallic box bolted onto one of the walls. Your gloved fingers type in a code on the keypad fixed to the front of the box. The front panel unlocks and opens to reveal a small armory. 

Smaller than usual. No fancy explosives. Your usual selection of guns has been paired down to one: a single black Glock. You suspect your limited selection is thanks to Rumlow. You figure this has something to do with your training, but you don’t really care. You’re more disappointed in how the gun feels in your hand. You miss your Beretta. You don’t feel the same without it. 

You slide the Glock into the empty holster at your right hip and turn when you hear Nat enter the cargo bay. She holds the tablet you left behind. Her finger slides across the tablet’s screen, and you watch the way her head tilts slightly as she reviews the mission data. You imagine that she looked exactly like that whenever information on you ended up in her hands. Your smile starts to return as you grab the tactical knife left in the armory and slide it into place on your belt. 

She turns off the tablet and sets it down next to her black duffel bag. She lifts her hand and speaks into her wrist. “Comms check.”

You hear her voice flood your helmet and you don’t want it to stop. When she looks over at you, you nod. Her smile threatens to break you. You want so desperately to say something. You want her to look at you like she knows you. Like she did before whenever she appeared on one of your jobs. But your mouth stays shut. You comply. 

It’s quiet when you both exit the Quinjet. As you make your way through the cluster of trees, you can’t help but think back to your last freelance job in the middle of nowhere. The sound of gunshots ripping apart tree bark. The smell of sweat and blood on your target’s body. The feeling of her hand around your wrist. 

You stop when you reach the treeline. Roughly fifty yards ahead of you is the bland backside of the abandoned storefront. The back door is unguarded. You don’t see any cameras either. It’s no wonder why HYDRA wants Sikora gone. The lack of security is almost offensive. It’s as if your target is inviting you inside. 

“We’ll split up and sweep the area,” her voice is low and when you look at her, you nod. 

Perfect. As long as you find Sikora first, this mission should be easy. 

“I’ll take the upper floor while you secure the lower,” she says. 

As you nod, you hope that you’ll find Sikora in the storefront’s basement. If you don’t, you don’t know exactly how you’ll get your target far enough away from Nat. 

You both step out of the treeline and make your way towards the storefront’s back entrance. By the time you reach the back door and press your back against the wall, you notice that both you and Nat have drawn your guns. You bite your tongue to hold back a laugh at the thought that instantly springs to life within your mind. This must be the first time you both have a gun in your hand and you’re not pointing them at each other. Now would be a great time to take your helmet off. 

Nat reaches for the door handle, and it’s unlocked. You decide that it’s your target’s inflated ego that left the door unlocked and not stupidity. Or a trap. You try not to let that last thought get you too excited as you follow Nat through the backdoor. 

You enter a narrow hallway. Directly ahead of you is a wide open doorway that reveals a large empty room. Remains of what was clearly a counter mark the worn looking floorboards. Dark colored wallpaper peels from the walls. The room itself is lit only by the light that spills out from the hallway. Large, thin boards are nailed across the windows. Littered about the floorboards is trash, random dark wet spots, and the occasional clothing hanger. 

To your right is a set of stairs leading to the upper floor. To your left is the remains of another door. You see the hinges, but the door that clearly once occupied the space is gone. Beyond it is another set of stairs leading down towards the basement. You turn to your left and start to descend the stairs. You hear Nat ascending the stairs behind you. You force yourself not to look back as you lift your gun and keep going. 

Your footsteps are quiet on the stairs. When you reach the bottom, you find yourself alone in an empty room. The lights are on. Boxes and crates are stacked against one of the walls. On the other side of the room is another doorway, but this one still has a door attached to it. As you walk further into the room, you hear a loud thud shake the low ceiling. You feel a tiny spike of jealousy that Nat found her targets while you are alone in a basement. Another loud thud shakes the ceiling again. That lingering spike of jealousy flees when the door on the other side of the room opens. 

You pull the trigger the second you see someone fill up the space in the doorway. You see the person drop and no one else comes out. You move towards the open door. One quick look down at the man dying on the basement floor at your feet confirms that they are not your target. You step over the dying man and into the room. It’s a small break room with a fold out plastic table that eats up most of the space. Sitting on the table, directly in the middle, is a small, square television. It’s on and playing an old western. 

When you return to the dying man laying in the doorway, you find him dead. The man’s lifeless eyes stare up at you. His mouth is slightly parted. His hair looks greasy. He looks about as old as any average college student. The sounds of the western playing on the television fills up the quiet as you stare down at the dead man. The sounds of shouting pulls you out of your odd stupor. 

You step over the dead man and hurry back towards the stairs. You quickly climb back up into the narrow hallway and start towards the stairs that would take you up to the upper floor when you see it. You are standing at the base of the stairs when you see a body falling. You see their arms first as they come up, and you see how their legs trip over each other. You notice a mop of dirty blonde hair right before it smashes into the first uppermost step. The body falls hard down the stairs with a series of sickening crunches. You take a few steps back when you notice the body picking up some speed. When the body finally reaches the bottom of the stairs, it rolls over once and stops. 

Sikora lays at your feet. His neck is bent at a terrible angle. His blue eyes are wide open. You see a piece of bone poking out from his forearm. Your gun lowers at the sight of your target’s still body. You feel numb at the sight of it. No satisfaction. No sense of pride. Not even relief. You don’t know how to feel when you step over your target’s body and ascend the stairs. That strange feeling persists as you find Nat standing near a table. Littered across the floor are six bodies. You can’t tell if some are alive or not, but you feel the corners of your lips curl into a smile. Nat doesn’t have a scratch on her. None of the bodies scattered across the room were a challenge for her and you just want to run up to her and kiss her and hug her tight because it makes sense. One piece of your life hasn’t changed. She’s still your friend even if you can’t act like hers. 

As you walk further into the room, carefully stepping over fallen bodies, Nat closes up a black laptop that is sitting on the table. Her smile melts away any lingering numbness hanging on from seeing your target’s body. 

“Good work,” she says. “SHIELD will be here in ten to clean up.” 

You savor her praise before looking at the laptop again. 

“Just a little side project,” she says after following your gaze. She picks up the black laptop and moves towards you. “You ever have bourbon from here?”   

You shake your head. 

“Then we’re making a quick pit stop before we head back,” she says. 

You follow her, and you can’t help feeling like you are back in Ohio. It’s as if school is finally letting out and you two have the rest of the day ahead of you. You want this day to last forever. You’d rather her know it’s you, but if this is all you can have, then you’ll take it.

[obsessivevoidkitten]

These are all the things I want to grow and have the seeds for this year, though some things are missing from this list. I still need more soil, most of the produce goes to the senior center so if anyone wants to throw me 3 dollars for a bag of dirt it goes to a good cause, I also save seeds and distribute them to neighbors and some of the people at the senior center. This blog is my only income source as I am an unpaid live-in aide for an elderly woman. No pressure though. Also if anyone just wants to put gardening discussions in my inbox I am totally up for that!

Supernova sunchokes

Red pontiac potatoes, kennebec potatoes, lehigh potatoes, purple viking potatoes, red norland potatoes, also sweet potatoes

Brown sugar tomatoes, amish paste tomatoes, orange hat tomatoes, yellow stuffer tomatoes, yellow pear tomatoes, bosque blue bumblebee tomatoes, bonny best tomatoes, orange icicle tomatoes, sart roloise tomatoes, sweetheart cherry tomatoes, honeycomb tomatoes, barry's crazy cherry tomatoes, kentucky beefsteak tomatoes, and of course PRAIRIE FIRE TOMATOES

Corbaci peppers, ajvarski peppers, sugar rush peach peppers, albino bullnose peppers, binquinho peppers, lemon spice jalapeno peppers

Armenian yard long cucumbers, sumter cucumbers, bushcrop cucumbers, spacemaster 80 cucumbers, green apple cucumbers, lemon cucumbers, dragon's egg cucumbers, poona kheera cucumbers, pick a bushel cucumbers

Rosita eggplants, listda de gandia eggplants, shikou eggplants, casper eggplants

White soul alpine strawberries, seascape strawberries

Strawberry spinach, malabar spinach, thousand head kale, scarlet kale, blooming kale, orach, slobolt lettuce, merlot lettuce, bronze lettuce, buttercrunch lettuce, bibb lettuce, aqua large leaf watercress, swiss chard five color silverbeet

Moonshine sweet corn, glass gem corn, fiesta corn, Incredible R/M sweet corn

Great northern beans, dwarf taylor horticulture beans, jade II beans

Red burgundy okra, jing orange okra

Autumn buckskin pumpkins, long island cheese pumpkins, flat white boer pumpkins, seminole pumpkins, rouge vif d' etampes pumpkins

Gumball mix radishes, china rose radishes, de 18 jours radishes, golden helios radishes, purple plum radishes, diana hybrid radishes, pink dawn radishes

Chocolate cherry sunflowers, autumn beauty sunflowers, evening sunflowers, russian mammoth sunflowers, florenza sunflowers, lemon queen sunflowers

Peach melba nasturtiums, whirlybird nasturtiums, orchid flame nasturtiums, tip top alaska salmon nasturtiums, tip top rose nasturtiums

Gill's golden pippin squash, honeynut squash, candy roaster squash, delicata squash, early prolific straightneck squash

Jolly jester marigolds, mexican mint marigolds, safari scarlet marigolds, orange flame marigolds, colossus bicolor red gold marigolds

Purple coneflowers, black eyed susans, moss roses, coleus pinto mix

Double tall mix strawflowers, copper red strawflowers, king size orange strawflowers

Pampas plume celosias, eternity mix celosias

Desert king watermelons, lemon drop watermelons, royal golden watermelons, tigger melons, kajari melons, golden crispy melons, golden jenny melons

Purple dragon carrots, melbec carrots, uzbek gold carrots, koral carrots

[dare-to-dm]

Today I cooked up 10 pounds of chicken wings and did the Hot Ones challenge with my friends!

I am not an enjoyer of spicy foods - in fact, the first sauce was spicier than I would have liked. But I did make it through the whole gauntlet! Although I will say, unlike on the show we also had celery and carrot sticks, which really helped.

(also White Russian milkshakes, yum)

[the-habitat-ring]

The (Real) Stardew Valley Farm Update

Okay, so I meant to post way more about this, but the past year involved a truly inhumane number of medical appointments including driving an hour away 2-3 times a week all summer, so . . . not a lot of time for gardening and not much energy for posting. Fingers crossed that this year goes better!

To refresh, I'm trying to grow everything from Stardew Valley in our yard, with substitutions as needed, preferably with Midwest USA native plants. 2021 and 2022 can be found here, with my original plans for what I was going to do for 2023 and 2024.

2021: Additions/Corrections

Starfruit - Native wood sorrel (thanks to @alienskyler1 for teaching me that they were related!)

Cave Carrot - Queen Ann’s Lace, AKA wild carrot (also plenty of cultivated carrots)

2023: What Actually Happened

Garlic - Native wild garlic

Blueberries

Wild Horseradish - Not wild, contained in a raised bed on concrete because I don't want it to get too wild (also a mint containment system!)

Hops - Teamaker hops which is good for tea. It struggled in the summer so maybe tea this year?

Winter Root - I went with hopniss, aka groundnuts, a native vine with tubers you dig up in winter

Fiddlehead Fern - Native hayscented fern

Poppy - Native wood poppy

The ferns and poppies were planted in the fall, so hopefully they come up well this spring!

2024: The Plan

Blue Jazz - Native Ozark Bluestar (one of my winter sowing seeds)

Apricot Tree - Native passionflower vine, known as wild apricot (winter sowing)

Sunflower - Winter sowing two native sunflowers, and will hopefully be growing some massive non-native ones as well

Summer Spangle - Native prairie lily (winter sowing)

Palm Tree/Coconut - Native palm sedge. I'll grow this from seed once it warms up

Pineapple - White strawberries (pineberries)

Pumpkin

Melon

Oak Tree - Native dwarf chinquapin oak (it's been shockingly hard to get my hands on one)

Sweet Pea

Hot Pepper

Parsnip

Corn

Ancient Fruit - Native Aronia (they're blueish and have lots of antioxidants so you live to be ancient)

We'll see how it goes!

Planned for 2025 and Beyond:

Potato

Red Cabbage

Artichoke - Native Jerusalem artichokes

Cactus Fruit - Native prickly pear cactus

Yam

Bok Choy

Leek

Blackberry

Holly - Native winterberry holly

Crystal Fruit - Honey berries, which produce fruit earlier than anything else

Mushrooms - I'm just gonna ignore varieties and try some plugs or similar

???????

Still trying to figure out doable substitutes for these

Rice

Wheat

Qi Fruit - Very creepy

Taro Root - I would have to plant it in pots

Snow Yam

Mahogany Tree

Peach Tree

Pomegranate Tree - I could try Russian pomegranates?

I'll try to do a better job this year keeping everyone updated. It's been such a fun project and I'm so glad I decided to go for it!

[strxwberry-x]

shape of you

childe sheeran x fem! reader | satire

warning. cult. purposeful bad writing. man in moon x y/n?? man in moon x childe sheeran. cringe. suggestive.

word count. 601

Y/N was walking through the forest, late at night. The moon was shining down on her like a huge ball of shiny whiteness. The man in the moon winked at Y/N, because of her main-character rizz.

She sighed, looking to the side, refusing to make eye contact with Manny. He wasn’t worth it — Y/N didn’t date nerds with pale skin.

Suddenly, a loud pig snorting sounds in the distance. The frightening sound echoes through the forest, and Y/N gasps in fear.

Her legs start to move on their own, and she peddles her feet as she runs away. It was like she was riding a bike, until her chain snapped — she tripped on a tree branch. It was approximately one inch long and a centimetre in diameter. The bike had rusted.

Y/N screams in pain as her knee is scraped. She looks down, and faints when she sees the redness of her raw skin.

Time Skip ~

When Y/N awakens, she hears strange chanting from around her.

“Unu, unu Yaya ika kundala! Unu, unu Mita dada ya dala? Unu, unu Kuzi mita dada ye Mita dada-a-mimi.”

She struggles, but finds that she is tied up on a bed over a fire. A pole is being turned in circles, as though Y/N is being cooked alive.

Her vision is full of flames, red hot and dancing over the ropes binding her wrists. Then the night sky, where Manny is still smirking down at her.

The pole stops turning, her body on it’s side. Y/N is left staring at a group of strange creatures who are all doing BTS choreography while chanting.

Y/N begins to cry.

Suddenly, a light appears from above. The flames below Y/N grow stronger, reaching towards the pale light. The moon is shining brighter, a beam illuminating Y/N.

A man floats down, the flames leaving the fire behind to circle around him. His feet touch the ground, and suddenly all of the hilichurls are blasted into the sky by an invisible force.

“Sorry I took so long,” the mysterious man says, walking towards Y/N. “I was breeding the moon.”

Y/N is left dumbstruck when he nears her. His thinning orange hair, almost as vibrant as the flames surrounding him. His pale blue eyes, framed by his nonexistent eyebrows.

She swooned.

“N-n-n-n-n-no problem,” Y/N stutters shyly. She looks away from the carrot-headed man, unable to stand his beauty. He laughs, his accent a mix of British and Russian.

He snaps his fingers, and Y/N’s ropes disappear. She gasps, landing face-first in a pile of ash. The quirky girl quickly stands up, brushing herself off, and looking up at the 6’6 man. He was so tall, compared to her 4’5 self.

“My name is Childe Sheeran,” he says with a charming grin. “But you can call me Edgalia.” He winks, both of his eyelids closing. Y/N laughs, the paper-white male was so endearing.

She looks up at Edgalia from under her 3-inch eyelashes. “Thank y-y-you. However c-can I-I-I-I-I-I repay you, E-E-E-E-Edgalia?” Y/N places her hands on her dainty 0.000001-sized waist.

Childe Sheeran smiles, his teeth yellowed and crooked from being British and drinking Russian alcohol. “No need to repay me. Looking at the shape of you is more than enough~”

Y/N blushes like your stepsis in that one incest porn when her stepbro is being naughty.

Edgalia’s blue eyes flash with something else. He no longer looked kind. He was like… a predator. And Y/N was his prey. He growls, and then pins her to the ground.

“I changed my mind. I know exactly how you can repay me~”

DEDICATED TO PEARL, THE MOST HUMAN PERSON I KNOW <3

[kusurrone]

TAG GAME!!!!! taged by @transaeneas

Real name: Kira and Yakov (aka Jacopo)

Gender: russian

Best friend: fan of Eren Yeager

If my life was a TV show: последняя прямая линия с Владимиром Путиным

How do I feel: no idea

Last song: mï poyedyem mï pomchimsya na olyenyakh utrom rano

Favourite colour: white

Last movie: Cargo 200 by Balabanov or dog's heart i dont remember really i don't watch much (i think im gonna draw something for both. love me some assaultion from a policeman who's dealing with an accident about a girl that he had caused and a living dog's inner organs out)

Last TV show: la figlia del capitano (DEFINETLY GONNA DRAW (although i did already) but REAL (RUSSIAN) version)

Sweet, spicy or savoury?: korean carrot (sweet + spicy)

Relationship status: Im 15

Last thing googled: a word about Igors regiment orginal historical text read💔 піздецъ

Current obsession: do i have to answer that? actually russian literature (preferebly Lieskov rn) and studying in general. probably great russian revolution and civil war talking about history, molecular biology, analytic organic chemistry, isoprocesses. yeah i actually do love them.

Looking forward to: finish reading all the 100 russian novels and poems for literature and russian exams and 30 topics for art history exam.

Currently reading: War and Peace, drafts of purgatory of Dead Souls, Fiammetta, Metamorphoses. what a gang. Although I've read and analyzed like 5 books this month (Crime and punishment, Lady Makbiet of Mtsensky ugezd, Toupee artist, The charmed traveller, The garnet bracelet)

Song stuck in head: Ya tiebie nie vieryu - Grigori Leps & Irina Alliegrova

Favourite food: bread

Dream trip: anywhere literally. what is possible for me - i would like to visit Dagestan, Ural, Buryatia, far Karelia, maybe Sarai-Batu (BECAUSE THERES A GIANT SAND HEAD OF CHINGISKHAN) again but in spring because summer was impossible with all the insects 🥶🥶. What i can only dream about - somewhere Mediterranean and Alaska. preferably Italy of course and you already know what territories preferebly.

tagging @boydrudolo @fizzycherryart @hyodyton @ipostdantememes

[howtobeaskeleton]

The Pro-Ana Diet : 8 Different Meal Plans to Follow

By Mimo Varila

The Lunabelle Diet

The Lunabelle diet is a condensed version of the Ana Boot Camp diet, which is 40 days instead of the usual 50 days. It has more fast days and calorie variations. This is a more “doable” diet, as it comes with higher calorie restrictions, with days you consume between 100 to 800 calories. There are double fast days, though, so you have to prepare yourself for these. If not, you can consume 50 or 100 calories to stay safe if you aren’t able to fast this long. After 40 days, you will be able to lose up to 20 pounds or more!

The Rainbow Diet

This is a pretty interesting diet, as it entails you to consume one color of food per day, except for every Wednesday. Here is the meal plan:

Monday (white) :

Breakfast: Half an apple

Lunch: Half an apple

Dinner: One cucumber

Tuesday (yellow):

Breakfast: One banana

Lunch: One banana

Dinner: Half a cup of corn

Wednesday: Fast

Thursday (orange):

Breakfast: Half an orange

Lunch: Half an orange

Dinner: One carrot

Friday (red):

Breakfast: Half a cup of strawberries

Lunch: Half a cup of strawberries

Dinner: Half a red pepper

Saturday (purple or blue):

Breakfast: Ten blueberries

Lunch: Ten blueberries

Dinner: Ten raspberries

Sunday (green):

Breakfast: Half a cup of grapes

Lunch: Half a cup of grapes

Dinner: One cup of lettuce

The ABC Diet

If you have been following the pro-ana lifestyle of quite some time now, then you’re familiar with the ABC diet, which is known as the Ana Boot Camp. This is one of the most popular diets to follow, as it’s extensive and incredibly useful. However, it’s very challenging, and not many people pass it.

This grueling diet will yo-yo between 50 to 500 calories a day, with a fast every few days. The extreme calorie restriction will have you lose at least 20 pounds once you are done with the 50 days. You can eat anything in this diet, but make sure that it sticks to your limit.

The Five Bites Diet

Think of it as a mental gastric bypass surgery, where people staple their stomachs to feel full after just a few bites. This will take a lot of self-control, though, as you will only be consuming five bites of whatever meal you have.

I recommend that you follow this diet:

Breakfast: Five bites of oatmeal

Lunch: Five bites of a sandwich

Dinner: Five bites of pasta

It’s best to consume a lot of water or zero-calorie drinks to stay energized and hydrated while doing the diet. Freshly-squeezed lemon juice can work great, too!

The Vegan Model Diet

The vegan model diet is another effective and restrictive diet suitable for those who follow the vegan lifestyle. Think of it as the usual meal plan models would follow to get a flat stomach without any meat products!

Breakfast: One reduced-calorie bread and two cups of black coffee with zero-calorie sweeteners

Lunch: One large apple

Dinner: Eight baby carrots

The total number of calories consumed is only 200 calories. Follow this for a week, and you will be able to lose weight quickly. You can substitute meals with different fruits and vegetables if desired. Add your meal diet with some healthy powders. Check the green superfood powder to know more.

The Ana Atkins Diet

This is a personal twist on the Atkins diet, which is similar to the keto diet. Just make sure that you avoid any keto diet mistakes and consume too many carbs from fruits!

Breakfast: Three-egg white omelet

Snack: Baked white fish fillet

Lunch: Roast Chicken drumstick and a cup of salad leaves

Snack: 50 grams of prawns with garlic and chili

Dinner: Grilled Sirloin steak and a cup of salad leaves

You might think that this is a lot to consume, but it’s quite useful in burning fat quickly. By day three, you have less appetite, and your body is using ketones for energy.

The Russian’s Gymnast Diet

Irina Tschachina is a 5’6 Russian gymnast who only weighs 99 pounds. Wonder how she does it? Here’s a diet you can follow for ultimate weight loss and health. Those who follow this diet for a week can lose up to ten pounds!

Breakfast: A glass of apple or orange juice

Lunch: Fruit salad with a glass of fruit juice

Dinner: Green apple and a glass of non-carbonated water

Make sure that your fruit juices are freshly squeezed and free from any artificial sweeteners.

The Baby Food Diet

This is a pretty exciting diet, as it entails you to consume baby food, which is rich in vitamins and nutrients. I recommend that you purchase organic and vegetable-based baby food, which has fewer calories and more vitamins.

You can have baby food for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Or, you can have an average healthy breakfast and consume baby food for lunch and dinner. Make sure that you get the 80-gram jars, which are made for weaning babies.

But do take note that these are only short-term diets that should not be done as a lifestyle change. There are many different side effects to pro-ana diets, as you are consuming fewer calories than your body needs, which causes some health risks in the long run.

Bonus Tips on Keeping Up With a Pro-Ana Diet

Now that you’re familiar with the different pro-ana diets, what are other ways you can keep it consistent? Here are some bonus tips to follow:

• Make sure to always keep track of your calories by using apps or other online tools available. Don’t take in more calories than what you burn to ensure weight loss.

• It’s better to consume a healthy breakfast to have better-eating decisions for the day ahead.

• Water is one of the crucial parts of the diet, as it doesn’t only fill you up but keeps you energized when restricting your calories. However, you should avoid drinking water in a single session, since this causes water retention.

• Small meals throughout the day are also recommended, which can have the body think that you’re eating enough to stay satiated and energized throughout the day.

• These are aggressive diets, and you will be deficient in many nutrients from the calorie restriction. Because of this, it’s imperative to take in vitamins. These will compensate for what you don’t consume.

• Sleeping is essential to gain energy and level out your cravings and appetite. If you sleep less, it can lead to a lack of energy and hunger, as well as a slow metabolism!

• If you want to stay encouraged while following a diet, then it’s best to find a diet buddy or to look in the mirror, which keeps you motivated!

• You can keep track of your macronutrients with online macro calculators to ensure you’re eating the right foods, in the right ratios, for optimal weight loss.

Pro-ana diets are aggressive but possible with the right tips and healthy food consumption. That way, you won’t have a problem with keeping the pounds off in the long run !

Hopefully, this article on the pro-ana diet gave you an idea of what you can do to stick with your meal plans.

So don’t wait any longer and check out any of these diets now!

Start your diet now !

INSPIRING ARTICLE COMMENTS

SJanuary 1, 2019 at 3:27 am

I want to lock myself in a hotel room for a week with nothing but water. I want to be anorexic

 

BRYTEEYEZMay 5, 2021 at 12:56 am

I plan to lose this chub quickly. I am a effing fat pig.

TIMDecember 18, 2020 at 4:38 pm

Sounds sexy

 

ADDYOctober 29, 2020 at 7:16 pm

I’m desperate. I just want to be skinny 🙁

[tf2-oneshots]

hey can i request a freedom fries(soldier x spy) fic where spy gets sick and soldier helps him out and makes him soup(thank you in advance!!!)

Yes of course! Freedom fries forever!!

Warnings: none!

Rating: General

Spy coughs into her handkerchief, head turned to the side on her enormous pillows. His princess curtain is drawn to shield his sickly self from being seen. Another cough rips through Spy as she collapses like a drama queen. Medic had tried to heal him, but he refused. The attention from his beloved Soldier was just too good to give up.

Speaking of which, said man is stepping into the room. Spy fluffs her pillows before laying back against them. A hand is pressed to her forehead, demonstrating how utterly frail and weak he is. One more cough might be the end!

“Spy? I brought stew! It’s got beef!” Said stew was made with the help of Heavy. Soldier had made many attempts to add ingredients that, frankly, would have made the whole thing inedible. The whole carrot he wanted to shove into the pot was sliced, the tablespoon of onion powder replaced with a mere fraction, and much more. Spy should really thank the Russian for saving her tastebuds.

“You did? Oh, how kind—“ Another cough. Spy covers her mouth with the lace handkerchief and shuts his eyes with a weak groan. Despite the illness, his mask remained untouched. It would take a catastrophic world ending event for Spy to even consider slipping it off of his face.

“Eat up, son. I’ve seen this disease of yours before. They called it trench cough, and it claimed more men than the war!” Said disease is made up, of course. Soldier’s lead infused brain having made up the disease for his debated time of military service. Spy carefully takes a bite of her meal with the bowl in her lap.

“I’ll be fine, Soldat. I have you.” Spy is stricken with another coughing fit. She turns her head, not wanting Soldier to see his snotty nose. Dear god, is he a child? A sickly little girl in her canopy bed waiting to be doted on by the entire world? The answer is yes, of course he is.

“Forgive me. I feel so weak, but your cooking gives me strength.” Spy easily feeds himself despite acting so faint. Soldier, taking all of this very serious, takes out a bottle of pills.

“Medic said to give you two of these, but you clearly need more than that!” He pours a handful of white pills into his palm and attempts to shove them inside Spy’s mouth. The woman turns away, blocking the hand to not take so many at once. She forces Soldier to open his palm and retrieves two of the instructed medication.

“Do listen to the doctor.” Down they go with another mouthful of broth. Soldier stands beside the bed, back straight and hands at his side. He faces the door, motionless and waiting for Spy to give him an order.

“Darling, please, lay with me. I feel so cold.” Yet his body is burning hot. Boots are slipped off and set at the side of the bed pointing outward. Soldier then takes off his jacket, folding it to a square and placing it on the vanity. He slips into his side of the bed, quick to bring Spy against his chest.

“We will defeat trench cough together, and we will celebrate like its 1776!” Such inspirational words coming from the man. Spy raises Soldier’s hand, kissing his knuckles to not infect him with the cold.

“Oui, mon amour.” Spy turns on a fan Engineer set by her bed. Knowing how warm chested Soldier can be, he picks the high setting. The two snuggle close, content without a cough to be heard thanks to the medicine.

I love drama queen Spy sm -H

[coffee-in-europe]

january: black-and-white films, old records, red lipstick, classical music, gold earrings, city lights, garnet clothing, champagne, glitter, russian literature, snowstorms, art galleries, dimly lit restaurants, high-heels, chickadees, frosted windowpanes, silk shirts, espresso, pomegranates, snowy owls

february: candy hearts, roses, grapefruit, trench coats, mittens, dark chocolate, calligraphy, sealed envelopes, vanilla cake, ballet, romance films, chandeliers, late-night phone calls, musicals, aurora borealis, marshmallows, pink lipgloss, poetry, freesia, movie theatres, ballads, pressed flowers, stained glass, teacups

march: dark comedies, photo albums, lemons, cold rivers, baking, tidying, colouring, movie marathons, nonfiction books, newspapers, clovers, train rides, fashion magazines, pasta, orchids, podcasts, houseplants, sketchpads, yogurt, celestial art, bubble baths, charcuterie boards, moonlight, ice floes, crystal glasses, coffee dates

april: disney cartoons, rubber boots, tulips, mauve nailpolish, fresh vegetables, cold rain, journals, lavender, fresh eggs, pink blush, birdsong, morning frost, rosemary, tulips, foggy mornings, aloe vera, ponds, herbal tea, puddles, lilies, bunnies, floral sheets, marmalade, pastoral novels, frogs, english custard, lily pads

may: picture books, daisies, farms, warm breezes, cherry blossoms, early mornings, fresh-baked bread, gardening, childhood reminiscing, dandelions, honey, meadows, hummingbirds, butterflies, rainbows, sugar cookies, polaroid cameras, wild mushrooms, carnations, frescoes, silver lockets, brown bears, pancakes, rivers, greenhouses, white sheets

june: jean shorts, pop music, white wine, beach days, yoga, sunday brunch, ice cream, concerts, wildflowers, fluffy clouds, morning dew, cotton candy, turtles, popsicles, kayaks, watermelon, pineapples, vineyards, sparklers, bicycles, denim jackets, swans, asphodels, cocktail parties, gooseberries, lilacs, hollyhocks

july: adventure stories, oranges, lakehouses, campfires, festivals, disco nights, strawberries, figs, starry skies, iced coffee, fireworks, street markets, bumblebees, trumpet vines, strappy sandals, sunglasses, patio lights, linen, denim skirts, pizza, fruit smoothies, pizza, rainstorms, peaches, lagoons, white dresses, astronomy

august: golden sunlight, nostalgia, willow trees, nature poetry, sunrises and sunsets, picnic baskets, sunflowers, crickets, cicadas, colourful quilts, cherries, rolling hills, maxi-dresses, tall grass, dragonflies, crochet, renaissance art, vine tomatoes, overalls, roadtrips, hammocks, sunhats, waterfalls, tabby cats

september: coffee, book piles, croissants, long walks, classic novels, braided hair, notebooks, film festivals, apples, pears, farmers markets, forests, jigsaw puzzles, owls, tortoiseshell glasses, orchards, library cards, foxes, tweed blazers, climbing ivy, tea kettles, maple syrup, goldenrod, lanterns, waffles, boardgames

october: pumpkin patches, black turtlenecks, ginger pastries, fireplaces, wet leaves, ankle boots, corduroy, birch trees, cafés, bookshops, castles, caramel, rainy mornings, blustery nights, town fairs, countryside walks, cinnamon, nutmeg, old houses, black cats, bakeries, creeks, thick blankets, city blocks, white chapels

november: candles, red wine, ancient ruins, greek mythology, second-hand books, plaid blankets, mahogany nailpolish, mystery novels, museums, burgundy sweaters, dinner parties, gemstone rings, icy breath, black coffee, language studies, antique shops, white roses, cobblestones, lace, cathedrals, firewood, audiobooks, crescent moons

december: soft snowfall, christmas carols, pine scent, wool socks, irish stew, fairy lights, thick books, fantasy stories, throw pillows, shortbread, comfort films, window shopping, scarves, icicles, peppermint, carrot noses, angels, hot chocolate, skates, pinecones, caribou, gingerbread, crackling fires, hot toddies, cashmere

[modernmanblues]

i can only imagine what the birthday boy must be feasting on on his big day today. here are some things that come to mind:

a decadent three-layer vanilla cake decorated with fresh strawberries on the edges and filled with homemade strawberry jam

a whole turkey or chicken, baked and surrounded with baked potatoes, chopped carrots and gravy on the side

homemade pecan pie because we all know how much the boy looveess his pudding

a nice, healthy serving of lasagna filled with lots of meat, tomato sauce and cottage cheese because the boy’s motto is always “go big or go home”

and perhaps a carribean delicacy, the famous monkey bread, because what other white man is more carribean infused than my beloved eric stewart?

of course, we would end the night with one of Mr. Stewart’s personal favourite cocktails, a white russian

[justarandomsimp77]

Scp-00843 also known as the 'Ink Bunny'. The small creature is about 10 inches tall and 6 inches wide as its weight is around 2-3 pounds. Its paws are very small and stubby as well with its legs causing this small creature to waddle when it walks around. Its body is made up of a semi-clear black writing ink as its inner body is filled with flowers. Its mouth is mostly hollow however it has a small thick white tongue that is very short and stubby along with a set of thick clear teeth that are barely visible to the human eye. Its eyes are a pitch glowing white shade and very delicate to the flash of a phone camera. Its ears can be floppy and up straight depending on its mood and it communicates using squeaks however it is starting to catch on to English and Russian. Its behavior is similar to SCP-999 being energetic and very loving. This creature however hates carrots for an unknown reason and loves Boba. Its body tends to melt when it's under a lot of stress and gets very violent whenever something or someone is either rude towards somebody she cares for or doesn't give her any attention or even a small thing like ignoring her. She doesn't grow and has the mind of almost a human toddler and it's proven you can pet this creature without getting harmed. However you will get a bit of ink left on your hands. If its body is harmed it regenerates or melts so it reforms. Many tests have been taken to see if this creature can be harmed however she cannot.

Reference Image Of SCP-00843 / Ink Bunny;

Art Is Made By ~JARS~ / JustARandomSimp77

[linzsaw]

My Monthly Favs What’s in my cup:

Every morning I drink iced coffee made from my one & only Nespresso machine. The past few months I can’t get enough of the double espresso blend, and then I add a bit of whole milk (happy cows only) and sweet cream. I can’t find anything better from Starbucks or anywhere else. Sometimes if I’m craving a hot drink, I’ll head to Dutch Bros for a hot Carmelizer and it is totally worth the cringy 9 minute forced convo with the DB crew. I also start my day with electrolytes, currently in the watermelon flavor. It’s surprisingly really delicious but I miss the Electrolyte Synergy blend that I was drinking for a long time, which has been sold out for almost a year now. :’)

What’s on my plate:

Dinner lately has been the laziest in America. After our trip, Drew & I either have the same ole chicken, rice and veggies, a spicy “mexican bowl” or some form of pasta, usually with Raos Arriabatta sauce. This week we’ve been stuffing our faces with Trader Joe’s frozen meals. We promise to be better next month, but we are really exhausted and the last thing we feel like planning are meals. However, for the last week of December we actually have some things planned for the holiday weekend. On Friday, we’re hitting up the town as we do every year to walk around and see the lights, and find festive little bars to try out new Christmas cocktails. We plan to spend Christmas with just the two of us. For Christmas Eve we are making our annual corn beef, cabbage and carrots because apparently we are super Irish (confirmed by 23&me which btw leaked all my genes to hackers). On Christmas we are having tri-tip, garlic & butter brussel sprouts, and mashed potatoes. The Christmas cookies we’re making this year include White Chocolate Cherry Shortbread cookies, Peanut Butter Blossoms, & Holly Leaves. Okay and now that I’ve told you all that, the Christmas cocktails we decided on this year are The Mistletoe Kiss (a vodka, soda water, rosemary & cranberry drank) and Bad Santa White Russians. I also heard that Moon X Pinot Noir from Trader Joes was really good and lately the Redvolution just isn’t doing it for me.  Let me know if you want any of these recipes, ladies. I will make sure to find GF, DF, and V options. 

What’s on my bookshelf:

I’ve finished two of the Colleen Hoover books, and now I’m reading another one of hers called Verity. It’s kinda depressing but that’s kinda the vibe as of late so I’m into it. 

What’s in my playlist:

We love the Sia Christmas album. It’s so fun and happy. Believe it or not, Andy introduced me to it lol. It’s so good!! Other songs I’ve been into are I remember everything by Zach Bryan and Kacey Musgraves. It reminds me of a family member rn which is very depressing to me. Fun to cry to. Bubble - STAYC, Surround Sound - JID 21 Savage, Baby Tate, Adora Hills - Doja Cat. 

What I’m up to:

Making our house into a winter wonderland of lights. Watching hella hallmark movies. Being seriously lazy, not working out or eating healthy. Walks with Snoop around the park. Mandala scratch off nightscapes. Reading at 3am when I was jetlagged. I had a sleep study this month too, no sleep apnea for me, back to mouth taping! It really does help with quality of sleep for me. You should try it! Also magnesium spray on my feet (shout out to Aly). This has helped with my restless leg syndrome that we’ve all experienced. This weekend, we’re making all our foods and cocktails, going downtown, driving around with hot choc to look at lights, and heading up to Rocky Mountain to hike a bunch of mountains. 

Skincare Saviors:

My skin gets so dry in Colorado, its TERRIBLE. And now that I’m saving for a house, I had to break up with my amazing esthetician, who by the way I stole this template from. I’m obsessed with Dermlogica thanks to her. I use a miscellar water if I wore any make-up. If not, I just double clease with my face wash. In the AM I’ll use my Rosehip Triple C+E Firming  Oil, followed by COSRX snail mucin essence, and a magical mix of calm water gel and intensive moisture balance. 

Love you long time,

Li

[brightgnosis]

Complete Seed Inventory 2024 — Minus Seeds to ship to "Facebook Racoon Lady", Plus Recent Orders

Tomato

Indigo Rose

Pink Brandywine

Hillbilly Potato Leaf

Okra

Red Burgundy

Clemson Spineless (NOT #80 subvariety)

Eggplant

Millionaire

Peppers

Bell, Rainbow Blend

Jalapeno, Early

Jalapeno, Mild

Poblano

Beans

Pole, Yardlong Red-Seeded Asparagus

Pole, Red Noodle

Bush, Cherokee Wax

Bush, Royal Burgundy

Bush, Jade

Unknown, Green

Drying, Vermont Cranberry

Peas

Snap, Cascadia Sugar

Snap, Sugar Magnolia

Snow, Snowbird

Summer Squash

Saffron Prolific Straight-Neck

Cucumbers

White Wonder

Lemon

Carrots

Kaleidoscope Blend (Seed Tape)

Red-Cored Chantenay

Beets

Colorful Mix

Radishes

French Breakfast

Arrow

Daikon

Turnips

Purple Top White Globe

Other Roots

Parsnip, All American

Greens

Lettuce, Buttercrunch

Brassicas

Kohlrabi, Vienna (?)

Kohlrabi, Early White Vienna

Bok Choy, Toy Choy

Cabbage, Tiara Mini

Cauliflower, Snow Crown

Broccolini, Aspabroc

Broccoli, Umpqua

Allium

Leek, Early Giant

Chives, Dolores

Chives, Garlic

Chives, Unknown

Bulb "Herbs"

Fennel, Florence

Fennel, Unknown

Fennel, Finale

Herbs

Marjoram, Sweet

Marjoram, Unknown

Oregano, Unknown

Thyme, Unknown

Thyme, Lebanese (False Za'atar)

Savory, Winter

Savory, Summer

Tarragon, Unknown

Lavender, Unknown

Rosemary, Unknown

Chervil, Unknown

Dill, Fernleaf

Dill, Unknown

Parsley, Single-Leaf Italian

Parsley, Italian

Cilantro, Unknown

Cilantro, Slo-Bolt

Sage, Black

Sage, Purple

Sage, Broadleaf / Garden

Sage, Unknown

Tulsi, Temperate

Basil, Aton

Basil, Italian / Genovese

Basil, Siam Queen

Basil, Spicy Sabre

Basil, Lime

Basil, Dark Opal Purple

Basil, Lemondrop

Basil, Cinnamon

Mint, Spearmint

Mint, Peppermint

Mountain Mint, Virginia

Catnip, Unknown

Balm, Mandarina Orange

Balm, Lemon

Valerian

Lovage

Rue

Hyssop, Common

Comfrey, True

Mugwort, Western (Prairie Sage)

Mugwort, California

Mullein, Common

Wormwood, Absinthe

Chamomile, German (False Chamomile)

Native Flowers

Wild Grape

Coneflower, Purple (Echinacea)

Goldenrod, Zig Zag

Goldenrod, Showy

Cardinal Flower

Passionflower, American

Ornamental Flowers

Tobacco, Woodland Flowering

Sunflower, Ruby Sun

Sunflower, Dwarf Teddy Bear

Sunflower, Ruby Eclipse

Sunflower, Russian Giant

Sunflower, Magic Roundabout

Sunflower, Italian White

Sunflower, Chianti Hybrid

Sunflower, Mammoth Grey Stripe

Lupine, Russel Hybrid Color Mix

Hollyhock, Summer Carnival Color Mix

Oriental Poppy Color Mix

Nasturtium, Alaska

Moonflower, Unknown

[n-rnova]

Diaries and Letters - Letters of Grand Duchess Anastasia

Oct.25, 1914,p.42 "...It's 9.10 a.m. now. We are waiting for Grigory (Rasputin) to come. Olga is sitting idly and digging in her nose. S he is just a "swine"... I am in a great hurry to write as Grigory is coming soon... He has just come..."

Oct.28, 1914, p.44 "...Ortino and Tatiana are running about the room now. Mother is going to receive Maklakov at 9 a.m. and Malama will come, too, which is very pleasant. I took this picture of myself looking at the mirror. It was very hard as my hands were trembling. ...I had 7 classes today and tomorrow I am going to have 4 or 5... I am having a Russian class now and Pyotr Alexeyevich is reading Turguenev's "The Hunter's Notes" to us..."

Jan.30,1915, p.58 "...I taught Ortino to sit up and beg and today I've taught her to give her paw and now she can do it. She is so sweet..."

March 7, 1915,p.61 "...I'm so grateful to you that you allowed us to use your bath. We bathed there yesterday. It was such fun! I was the first to go. There was much water. I was able to swim around the bath and then jumped down from its sides. It was terrific! Then Maria and I played in the water for some time but, unfortunately,I had to get out soon. Ortino was running about all the time and barking. After that Olga and Tatyana bathes and also enjoyed themselves!.. . Mother has already got in her room the flowers which you like. You know those blue flowers which grow in front of Grandmother's windows. They have just opened. Tomorrow is Sunday. It's so good not to have lessons when you can lie about in bed longer than usual... All of us are kissing you including Ortino who is running about here like a mad dog... She is such a dear..."

Apr. 7, 1915, p.64 "...We have just finished dinner. Mother is lying and sisters are sitting nearby. Tatyana is out, of course, as usual. Shvybzik and Ortino are lying in Mother's bed and sleeping. They are such darlings..."

Apr. 8, 1915 "...The sun is so warm today. In front of the house there are some white and yellow little flowers and some little daisies but they are few. We'll have to go and break the ice today with Maria and Nagorny..."

601,1156, Apr. 16, 1915, pp.68,69 "...They bring different dishes to taste for Aleksey and we all and Pyotr Vasilievich come and gobble them. They are so delicious. Terrific!... It's evening now. We've just finished dinner and are sitting with Mother. The dogs are running about the room and barking loudly..."

601,1156, June 14, 1915, p.74 "...We've just had breakfast in the balcony. It was so pleasant. At the service the choir sang "Lord, have mercy upon us!" by Tchaikovsky and we were all thinking about you, Father dear. Yesterday evening we were at Anya's (Vyrubova). Demenkov, Shvedov and Zborovsky were there, too. We were to rehearse the comic item of the programme. We were dying of laughter looking at the actors... Uncle Pavel will, of course, have tea with us. So dull... When we are at home we sit in the balcony all the time and have dinner there, too... Ortino has rushed into the room and is running about looking for you. When she failed to find you she jumped up on Mother's lap... I am sitting now and grating carrots and radishes. Very tasty. At 11 a.m. I go to Aleksey's room and gobble Aleksey's food samples. Almost all teachers also take part in it. I miss dear Shvybzik (Anastasia's dog). I still have the cigarettes you gave me and I smoke them sometimes with pleasure and thank you very much. The lilacs are finishing blossoming already..."

601,1156, June 22,1915, p.78 "...My and Maria's bed is in the middle of the room. It's better to sleep there. We open the window and it becomes very pleasant and comfortable... Sometimes we have classes in Mother's balcony and once we had to go to the garden while they were leading the wire for the lamp there..."

Aug. 26, 1915, p.81 "...I am sitting on the sofa near Aleksey who is having dinner with M. Gilliard and Maria is running about making very much noise. After that we spent some time with Alexey. When we are free we usually do it..."

Sept. 4,1915, p.84 "...In the afternoon we were in our hospital at the concert. There was De La Zari, then 3 people who sang, a young lady who danced, then a young lady who danced and sang. And there was also the little man whom we had seen at Anya's in winter a long time before. He told such funny stories that everybody was dying of laughter."

Sept. 13,1915, p.86 "...It's so disgusting! There lives a mouse in Maria's and my bedroom. I saw it in the morning and at night I heard it make a scratching noise... Now I am sitting in Mother's big room and Anya is reading aloud to Mother..."

601,1156, Sept. 20, 1915,p.90 "...Yesterday was Saturday so I had dinner with Mother and stayed with her up to 10 p.m. and we were making an album..."

Oct. 3, 1915, p.92 "...Tell Aleksey that I play the balalaika as well as the sisters..."

Oct. 8, 1915, p.94 "...It's cold and foggy here, but cosy. They have already put the winter window-frames in all the windows but not here..."

Nov. 1, 1915, p.96 "...Sisters and I went to the Palace's hospital to see the concert there. The Tolstoys and a lot of their acquaintances played the balalaikas. Not bad... Olga is having a rest now and Maria is playing the gramophone. I like it..."

Nov. 6, 1915, p.98 "...Nothing is changing here - classes and nothing else but the hospitals which we visit almost everyday. I was sitting in the W.C. and playing the gramo- phone there. It was much more enjoyable. Maria and I still sleep the way we did in summer and don't want to remove our beds but Mother doesn't like it, I don't know why. I think, it's quite O.K..."

Jan. 5, 1916, p.113 "...Nothing special is happening here. Mother is lying and we usually have breakfast and dinner nearby. But we have tea in the bedroom. We all have pistols now and we like to shoot very much. In the evenings after dinner we go to play in the Corner room where Olga, Maria, Alexey and I hide from each other and then shoot at each other in the darkness, but Alexey is sometimes scared and does not enter the room..."

Jan.11, 1916, pp.114,115 "...I have recovered after the bronchitis already. In the mornings before breakfast I usually lie in bed and write or Sasha reads aloud to me. I have breakfast in the playing-room and after that I lie in bed there. Mother comes before tea-time and stays up to 6 p.m. Aleksey was in a very bellicose mood and did a lot of funny things..."

Feb.15,1916, pp.118,119 "...Yesterday the three of us, "the little ones" so to say, went to Anya's hospital and there was a concert there. It was very nice there. A small 10-year old girl danced a Russian folk dance to concertina's accompaniment. She looked so sweet. I felt a sort of pity for her. De La Zari was there as usual as well as Yu.Morfecy, Sasha Makarov and your friend Lersky. He told such a funny story about a drawing lesson that all tha soldiers cried of laughter. Then he told them a funny story about playing the piano in three different rooms on different floors and how it all sounded for someone who listened. It was also very funny and finally he told them about the Zoo... Olga and Tatiana were in their hospital at that time and also saw a concert there. The Ferzens, the Bezobrazovs, some young ladies and a lot of other people were playing the balalaikas there..."

601,1156, March 5,6, 1916,p.120 "...Maria asked me to tell you that the Tower was very good and that (...) poured rotten water on it which they took from the small pond near the Tower. Sidor was very funny when he gave it orders where and how it was to function. Fyodorov did not forget his duty either and gave orders to everyone..."

March 11, 1916,p.122 "...Aleksey rarely comes to the Tower. We walked a lot there yesterday. They carried lumps of ice up the Tower. One lump was as big as Aleksey and very broad so they could hardly carry it up the ladder. They slipped and fell down. Fyodorov shouted loudly and gave commands standing on top but fortunately they didn't break the lump..."

March 31, 1916,p.125 "...Maria and I are playing musical instruments together now. She is playing the piano and I am playing the balalaika. It sounds good but it's better when we play with Olga..." Apr.4,1916, p.127. "...We don't have classes this week but Alexey does have them because he is naughty when he has nothing to do..."

May 27, 1916, pp.134,135 "...The weather is still nasty, it rains every day, but we still have breakfast and tea in the balcony..."

601,1156, May 31, 1916, p.137 "...I am listening to your and Alexey's letters eagerly at hors-d'oevres and breakfast. Sorry I am using a different colour of ink now but I am writing in Mother's room..."

June 24, 1916, p.146 "...Maria and I have just been lying on the grass in front of the balcony... Yesterday the four of us made a fire and jumped over it. It was wonderful..."

July 3, 1916, p.149 "...Today they will show films to the wounded in the Manege. I am very happy as we all go and Mother, too... Maria and I rock in the hammock sometimes and she overturns me each time and I fall down right on my face..."

July 17, 1916,p.150 "...There'll be christening of Loman's grandson at 2 p.m. and Mother will be there as she is his Godmother and we four will accompany her to make a crowd..."

Aug. 12, 1916, p.156 "...It's 9.30 a.m. now. We've just had tea and now I am writing to you. I'll have a class soon and shall finish the letter there..."

Aug. 16, 1916, p.171 "...In the evenings Olga and Maria and I sometimes ride our bicycles about the rooms at full speed. Olga tries to catch me up or vice versa. We fall down some- times but are still alive. The lessons are over and I am going to have breakfast (she is using a German word for "breakfast" written in Russian) with Mother and sisters though I don't know if they have come back."

Oct. 31, 1916, pp.175,176 "...Yesterday we were at the concert in the Grand Palace. They celebrated the second anniversary of their hospital. It was rather nice there. Your friend Lersky was there. Mother saw him for the first time and liked him... Olga's cat is running about here now. I think she has grown up and looks rather nice..."

Nov. 9, 1916, p.179 "...I am writing to you between the classes as usual. Olga's cat is running about here all the time but now she can be heard as she is wearing a little bell on her neck with a blue ribbon..."

Feb.25,1917, p.188 "...I am sitting in a semi-dark room now with Olga and Tatiana (they are ill with measles)... We have breakfast upstairs in our classroom. Only Mother, Maria and me. Very nice..."

[yrbutchgf]

2 6 10 12!

2. What's your top 5 songs at the moment and why?

OOOH okay okay... i think first i'm gonna go white ferarri, been on a bit of a frank ocean kick again lately and i just love that song by him. all the background vocals make it feel so atmospheric and between that and the melancholic lyrics, it feels like being hugged very gently in a cold room. in our lifetime by texas is also up there for sure; i forget what mutual put it on my dash a few weeks ago but i've loved it since. about by another michael bc. well. i envision music videos in my head. unholy ghosts by david keenan is just generally one of my favorite songs and i'm always surprised it hasn't gotten as much play as i think it has. lastly, desert scene by uncle chris, one of my current fave long songs. makes walking home feel like a movie.

6. Describe one of your favourite people.

kinda tall, but it's easy to forget that when you're around him for some reason? he's nearly 6ft but he has 5'6" energy. really funny, great sense of style. has been working on being more earnest w himself lately.

10. Share a recipe you love.

винигрет!! it's a russian beet/root vegetable salad. learned this my sophomore year of college because my professor brought some in for a lesson on food culture. i'm gonna put it below the cut, but it includes beets, white potatoes, carrots, pickles, white onions (optional), and dill (garnish). some people also put peas in it. served cold. i've made this for other people a ton of times and i always love it. it's my go-to meal-for-friend.

12. What's your favourite season and why?

i've said this before, but i think every time a new season comes around, i end up loving it just before it ends. i don't really like summer as a weather pattern, but by the time summer's ending, i realize i'm going to miss it, for example. but i think if i had to pick, i'd go winter. as long as i get snow, at least. i like bundling up, being chilly, coming in from the cold. lovely.

ok recipe time

винигрет - ingredients: beets (whole/raw or canned/boiled, not pickled), carrots (whole), white potatoes, white onions (optional but recommended), dill pickles, fresh dill (optional but recommended, NEVER dried), white vinegar, oil (optional). may add green peas.

wash and clean your veggies. don't bother peeling.

bring a large pot of water to a boil. if you bought your beets raw/whole, boil those first, as they'll take the longest time to do so. otherwise, start with the white potatoes.

while your beets are boiling, take this time to start chopping* your dill pickles and white onions. i personally don't think you can go overboard with pickles in this salad. i've used a whole jar to make a couple tupperwares of this before. as you chop, add your ingredients to a large mixing bowl.

once your beets/potatoes finish boiling, use a set of tongs to transfer them to a large bowl of cold water/icewater. the temperature shock will make the skin of the veggie very easy to remove. this is especially satisfying for the beets lol. canned boiled beets are way more convenient time-wise but i recommend boiling the beets yourself at least once because it's just so satisfying.

in the same pot, begin boiling your potatoes/carrots. meanwhile, chop* your beets/potatoes and combine them with your pickles and onions in the mixing bowl.

do the same for the carrots.

mix everything together. at this point, you can add white vinegar and oil to taste. fair warning, have a light hand with the oil, i've learned from experience that too much oil is WAAAAY way worse than too little, and frankly this salad is delicious with none at all too.

at this point you can add some fresh dill on top for added flavor, throw in some green peas if you'd like, then cover and throw in the fridge for a few hours/overnight. serve cold.

TL;DR, boil & chop up beets, white potatoes, and carrots. chop dill pickles and white onions. combine. add white vinegar and vegetable oil to taste. add green peas, fresh dill if desired. allow to chill.

notes: you can very much just eyeball the proportions, but i will say a few things. 1) you always need less potato than you think but boiling extra potatoes is never a bad thing because potatoes are a lovely little snack. 2) the beets are always going to be the star of the show, this is a beet salad. the end result should be mostly red. 3) you can never have enough pickles in this. like, to me the two non-negotiable ingredients in this are beets and pickles. not for nothing the whole flavor profile is dill. 4) white onions are optional and so is the oil but the white vinegar absolutely is not. trust. it doesn't take much either a tablespoon will bring you so far.

if you're nervous about getting the proportions right, just google винигрет and take the image results as references.

*russians can be very particular about the way you chop things for винигрет. good knife skills are everything if you want to impress with this. the idea essentially is to cube everything (fresh dill and white onions notwithstanding). to be honest, as long as everything is relatively the same size, it'll be just as good.

can be served by itself as a hardy salad, as a side dish, or with rye toast. lovely any time of the day. couldn't tell you how long it lasts in the fridge or whether it stands up to freezing (though i imagine it would) because whenever i make it, it always gets finished too quickly to say.