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utilitycaster · 2 years

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Weirdly specific and overly long Critical Role Ask Meme

The annual Thanksgiving Hell Drive tradition that matters only to me!

Character you don't particularly like, but will defend vehemently when people dislike them for the wrong reasons.

Favorite unhinged shopkeeper.

Minor character people in the fandom are obsessed with that makes you go "them? why?"

Minor character you are (correctly) obsessed with.

Meta you would write if you did not fear people would be SUPER weird about it. This is also an invitation to write that meta and block the haters.

NPC you would most like to see as the subject of a Tales of Exandria series.

Alternate outcome in a main campaign that you don't necessarily wish happened, but that you wish you could see played out in an alternate universe before returning to ours.

You may personally require that Liam O'Brien plays a non-core four (ie, not a Rogue, Wizard, Cleric, or Fighter) character for at least 10 episodes - he cannot in any way be one of those classes, even as a multiclass. If you like Orym, assume this has no impact on him. What class or multiclass do you have him play?

Location in Exandria you'd like to see in a possibly canonical one-shot/EXU but with non-main campaign characters (as in Song of the Lorelei/The Darrington Brigade)

Favorite and least favorite Matt Mercer Original Subclass.

A common stance within the fandom you would most like to eliminate on the specific grounds of hypocrisy/self-contradiction.

Best ship of the literal seafaring vessel or skyship variety.

Favorite D&D PC (guests & EXU included but must be a PC) of [class provided by the asker]? Note that as of posting there is only one option each for artificer (Tary) and ranger (Vex), so don't ask those.

Describe the art you would most like to create or commission if talent/money were no object.

Favorite one-on-one conversation (can be between two PCs, or a PC and NPC).

Favorite group (all/most of the party) conversation.

You know that post that's like "I wish you could filter in ao3 on 'attitude towards a canon event'?" In the world of imagination, you can! What's the event or attitude?

Share one unpopular opinion but it must specifically only pertain to Sam's ads.

You can swap one subclass (not class) for any one main campaign main cast PC. Which character, and what's their new subclass?

What non-D&D TTRPG would you most like to see Critical Role run a one shot in?

You can eliminate one ship that did not become a canon, reciprocated relationship from the fandom's consciousness. It is entirely gone - no fics, no posts, no doctored out of context gifsets inexplicably claiming that Travis ships it, no anon hate, no drama. Your blocked tags list becomes several entries shorter. A weight is lifted from your shoulders, and you take the deepest breath you've taken in a long time. Anyway, now that you're feeling relaxed and inspired, what do you think Bertrand Bell's fighter subclass was?

Assume that every single non-multiclassed wizard PC OR significant wizard NPC (includes EXU Calamity) are in a battle royale, and all are level 16. Who would you bet on as the winner?

You can guarantee that Vax lives at the end of Campaign 1. However, you must trade his permadeath for the permadeath of a different PC who was dead for more than a minute. Your options are Percy dying permanently in 1x68; Scanlan dying permanently in 1x83; or Laudna dying permanently in 3x34. Do you choose to do so, why, and whose death do you trade?

You can guarantee that one Evergreen Question you write is pulled on 4-Sided Dive AND that the four cast members you most want to answer it are on that month. What's the question, and which cast members answer it?

What class do you most want to see Matt play if he is in a future EXU campaign as a new (not Dariax) PC?

You must swap one nat 1 die roll with one nat 20 die roll. They must both be from the main campaigns, but can be cross-campaign. Which are they, and why?

Pick one character, ship, or party; and one song you associate most with them, and explain why. This song cannot be on an existing playlist from the main cast. It also cannot be We Have it All by the Pim Stones nor Dust Bowl Dance by Mumford & Sons; I love those AMVs but please think for yourself.

Think back to all weird or bad opinions (pertaining to Critical Role) you've seen but which were not elaborated upon. You get to make one, and only one, person have to provide an honest response about what the fuck they were thinking. Which opinion do you receive the honest explanation for?

You can give any PC a Staff of Birdcalls. Who do you give it to?

What is your favorite theory or headcanon that has absolutely no bearing on the plot and isn't important at all, but which is completely compliant with canon?

A really weird fey entity grants you the following boon: you can magically make it so that whenever people try to draw Imogen with glasses, the glasses magically disappear. All you need to do is hit the DC. The DC begins at 15, it is a simple d20 die roll with no modifiers/additions, and you can reduce it by one for every month you live with canon, pre-episode 2x26 Mollymauk Tealeaf. You do have your own room, but the walls are thin. After 15 months you automatically succeed and Molly disappears as though he had never existed. How many months do you live with Molly?

If the CR main cast were to play the original 7 tombtakers per The Nine Eyes of Lucien (Brevyn, Cree, Jurrell, Lucien, Otis, Tyffial, and Zoren) in a one shot, who should play whom? Assume Matt DMs, but you do not need to have Taliesin play Lucien.

You may ask any member of the cast one, and only one lore clarification question. What do you ask?

You meet an old woman in the grocery store and help her with her bags. In return, she tells you she can guarantee that Campaign 3 will be fantastic, and that there will be a Campaign 4 set in Issylra that is also fantastic. However, she warns you, the price is that Marisha and Laura's characters will never be in a romance together, nor will Taliesin and Liam's, though there will be significant queer romances aplenty, both F/F and M/M, in said campaigns. Do you take her up on her offer?

You can set the time and place of the next EXU series, but it cannot be within 100 years of the Calamity nor Divergence. When and where do you set it?

Every cast member must create a main campaign character loosely based off a character they played in a one-shot not set in Exandria, a la Chetney from Chutney (as a result, Travis is excused from this exercise). Who should they choose? (Please note that Bar Room Blitz is set in Exandria. You cannot pick Jayne and you're boring for thinking it.)

You have to take a 16 hour road trip with one NPC from each campaign (all at once, ie, three other people). The NPCs cannot shorten the road trip in any way and the road trip must be via driving but you can do it in two 8 hour days and share a motel room if you'd like. Who do you pick?

Assuming that your rent and basic living expenses are paid regardless, nothing cataclysmic happens while you're there, and your race and class are perceived as completely average and nothing to comment on, which city in Exandria would you most like to live in for a year? You must spend the vast majority of your time there.

Favorite parental figure NPC?

What named but as of yet unseen character do you most want to see onscreen?

#critical role #ask meme

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shallowseeker · 10 months

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Dean’s grief on speedrun

How long was Cas dead, anyway?

I think they reunited around day 18-24 days ish. The scripts give us some clues. (Based on this post)

==Dean is grieving hard==

He’s not in denial, like Sam seems to be -> “Is he really dead?” “You know he is.”

And because Dean now knows Chuck & Amara, he’s not getting stuck in bargaining stage (his usual MO). There is no door of hope to leave ajar after the cosmic consequences are rendered. (Not even the symbolic going-through-the-motions kind that he never intends to open again.)

No, this time, Dean’s in the throes of an incredibly frightening, paralyzing despair (images).

This is partially due to the fact that he saw it coming, and he fought so hard. He resolved to avoid the looming, cosmic consequences, to “not let Cas walk away, not again (script).” Dean made up his mind to act to protect the, “everything he’s ever wanted (script).”

And still, everything went so wrong.

///

The grief, then, is different. It’s a despair born of crushed hopes and dreams. Not to mention, forgiveness and acceptance—as Dean got onboard to help Cas, regardless of his own misgivings, because Cas “had faith in the kid.”

After everyone dies, Dean pleads with God/Chuck. Chuck is the one who brought Cas back before and the only one who seems able to rebuild angels. He doesn’t answer.

Even though Dean had a special connection to Amara, the one who resurrected his burned-up, supposed-to-stay-dead mother, she doesn’t answer either.

This time, he knows they’re out there, perhaps even listening. And they’re not answering because Dean’s run out of free passes and miracles.

This time, that knowledge crushes him where he stands.

///

DAY 1-2 (Lost and Found)

13x01 starts in the twilight hours after the big Lucifer fight.

Dean takes a shot at Jack, and Jack flees.

Heaven and Hell hunt them relentlessly.

They retrieve Jack from North Cove police station.

An angel stabs Jack in the chest with an angel blade, and he seems astonished to be “fine.”

Sam and Dean take time to grieve and scatter ashes.

The funeral occurs that evening, and they quickly get on the road.

///

DAY 3 ish (The Rising Son)

In 13x02, they're still driving home from the funeral towards the bunker, "12 hours till we get home," and Sam convinces Dean to stop at a motel.

Addition: When they eat, Jack remarks that he's 3 days old. "3 days, 17 hours, and 42 minutes."

Over the course of this episode, per the script, 2 days pass.

They eat dinner, go to a tattoo parlor, meet up with Donatello, and stay overnight in the motel.

Heaven and Hell continue to hunt them relentlessly.

Sam, Dean, and Donatello debate nature vs nurture, with Dean and Donatello leaning towards nature.

Sam psycho-analyzes Dean and delivers euphemisms to Jack about Dean “wanting to protect everyone and getting his wires crossed,” but ultimately, he isn’t forthcoming to Jack about the reality of the situation. (That is, it was Lucifer that killed Cas, and Lucifer who pulled Mary into another world--that Dean's grieving!) These important details might've helped Jack to understand his situation with a lot more clarity and grace. This will cause Jack to cool towards Sam when Dean reveals the truth during an argument.

Demons find them the next morning.

In fact, Dean nearly dies against a common demon, getting cornered on a hotel bed, but he is saved at the last minute by Sam’s interference.

Jack, tricked by Asmodeus, nearly releases the Shadim.

They drive home.

Later, Jack freaks out about being impervious to stabbing. In his new bunker room, he laments, “What the hell am I? I can’t control… whatever this is. I will hurt someone.”

Dean tells him he will be Jack's executioner if Jack loses control.

At most, it's been only 5 days since everyone died.

///

DAY 5 ish (Patience)

13x03 picks up mere hours after they get home, and it covers 5 days total. So, that brings us to a decently solid total of 10-ish days when this episode finishes.

Dean can't bear to be in the bunker with mission-mode Sam and Jack, so he takes off on a hunt.

Clearly in no shape to hunt, Dean dies at the hands of a wraith (and so does Jody). They are both saved by Patience’s interference.

Dean tells Patience there’s no joy in this life. Only pain and death.

Sam and Dean have a huge fight about Jack, during which Dean accidentally gives Jack context to the situation (re: Cas’s death, Mary’s plight). This causes Jack, already exhausted by Sam’s well-meaning training regimen, to cool towards Sam the next morning.

Cas appears to awaken in The Empty on day 9 or 10.

///

DAY 10-11 ish (The Big Empty)

13x04 SEEMS like the very next morning, because Dean AND Jack are both still chilly towards Sam. The air is described as arctic, with Dean giving Sam a, "don't even try it, motherfucker," face. Jack accuses Sam of wanting to use him as an interdimensional can opener and "being just like Asmodeus," and Sam comes clean about the truth.

Sam pushes them all to go on a case together. Jack says he doesn’t want to go at first. Sam wants Jack to go with them for the express purpose of forcing Dean to be around him and warm up to him, which isn’t fair to Dean or Jack…not really.

This storyline covers the family therapy scene (great analysis), wherein an interesting attempt at therapy is made under dishonest constraints.

Dean, still clearly in no shape to hunt, is easily overtaken by the shifter and nearly dies. He is saved by Jack’s interference.

According to the script, 13x04 occurs over 4 days. Commentary//

That means that Dean thawed to Jack, after our total of a mere 14 days. By the end of this episode, they're on shaky terms, and by the beginning of 13x06, calling out to each other in a friendly manner, "How was the case?"

Jack "puts a dent in Dean's armor," per the script, even before he saves them with his powers. Dean is doing everything he can not to like Jack, and it’s clear from the script that he’s failing.

At the end of the episode, Dean tells Sam to absorb the weight of the hunting burden, because he’s got no hope left.

Cas appears to awaken in a field on day 14. Presumably, his ashes are in the middle of nowhere, and he starts walking.

///

DAY 14-20 ish? (Advanced Thanatology)

Here’s where it gets foggier.

I can't tell exactly when 13x05 picks up with respect to the previous episode, but it seems like only a little bit of time has passed.

I would say a week at most has passed, but possibly as little as a day or two, and the case itself, per the script, covers another 4 days.

However, if Cas awoke in The Empty on day 10, and woke in the field around day 14, I think I favor a shorter timeline here with some of the “days” being overlapping back story from the case itself.

Anyway, Jack has been making his way through Sam's DVDs, "Red Sonja, Beast Master, Beast Master II." Commentary//

Sam does not intuit why Dean is up late at night/early twilight hours, making a PB & J (analysis).

Sam tries to remedy Dean’s overwhelming grief by pushing breakfast beer and strip clubs toward him. Alcohol to numb the pain + sexy stuff as a distraction. Now more than ever, Dean seems to perform those only for Sam’s benefit. (It seems Sam did not pay attention to Mia Vallens's therapy, except as a means to validate his own motives for trying to save Mary. Ouch! Poor Sam!)

Sam is not great with empathy here, bless my neuroatypical man-child. He’s dealing with a loss of his own, of course, and he’s been shown to be an impatient, mission-motivated griever (analysis).

Anyway, he’s completely at sea with Dean’s powerful grief, and he seems tragically unaware of Dean's close calls/being off his game over the course of the last few hunts.

Sam, perhaps understandably, wants Dean to be there for him n’ Jack, as caretaker and comrade, but Dean is too mentally wounded to bear the weight of that expectation. (Btw, I don’t think Sam really “gets” the Cas thing till 15x09 The Trap: Sam’s future is symbolized by Eileen-as-hope (analysis) and Sam realizes Dean’s future is built around Cas-as-foundation.) Dean dies...again//

Dean attempts suicide.

He tells Billie he doesn’t matter.

After he revives, Dean tells Sam, “No. Sam, I’m not okay. I’m pretty far from okay… And I would take the hit… And now Mom and Cas… And I – I don’t know. I don’t know.”

This is an elegant parallel to season 7’s grieving Dean, about his not being able to “shake” what happened with Cas, and admitting, “he doesn’t know why.” (Cas is different. Cas has always been different.) In season 7, he also says, “I’ll do what I can,” in response to Sam telling him to get his head in the game and stay alive. Cas is a core wound in both scenarios.

///

==Death & resurrection==

So, that would bring our guesstimate to Cas reuniting with the boys around 20-24 days. So, at most a little over 3 weeks but possibly closer to 4, especially if the backstory timelines of actual “case days” overlap, like 13x05 potentially does.

I am reasonably certain Cas awakened in the field near day 14. I’d personally put the actual reunion at 18-20 ish days, and certainly not longer than a month. They reunite in early June, I think. Blackberries are a summer fruit, and there are wild blackberries in the field where Cas awakens.

Dean drives to Cas and meets up with him, "in the middle of nowhere," so it seems Cas's grave and subsequent walk to civilization was in quite a remote area.

///

Going back through this, I was pretty astounded how Dean kept dying or nearly dying in those days following Cas’s death. He was definitely in no state to be hunting.

(images from CSN, SPN wiki, fangirlism.com)

#shal meta #dean/cas #tfw + grieving #dean + grief #spn season 13 #jack kline #the don't talk about cas sam wont' touch the cas thing with a ten-foot pole and i love that about him so much #saaaaam you are so focused on things that are ACTIONABLE like saving mom

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sageandred · 2 months

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~My Last Minute, Heartbreak High Wishes for Season 2 ♡♤☆

the Bug Boys saw this on an artpiece, don't wanna take credit, or the asshole BoyFriends-Spider x Ant truly, the only Spider ship that makes sense 2 me; HH pIz say no to the het ship with a yt boy who bullies the ethnic protag Spider and Ant could be the bffs to lovers plagued by toxic masculinity pipeline I've set my mind on at this point. Each of them is gonna like the girl swapped version of the other; it's not over for me until HH officially crushes my dreams. Let their slowburn start at the end of the season, pleeaaaassse!

Still, I wanna see Ant and Harper play out. New of me, but I guess I have a love for a badass girl and a pathetic man.

I'd like to see Quinni have a girlfriend that's good for her with a significant main character at some point (I don't want them to just bring in a recurring character that doesn't have a storyline outside of being her gf). S/o to user for this specific scenario. The trailer shows a shot of Harper and Quinni partying together, which isn't abnormal seeing as they're friends, but it could happen.

I can't help but want Malakai and Amerie together. I just love them! I want Malakai to explore his sexuality, which it looks like is happening. Don't know what to make of Rowan, but I'm super intrigued by the concept of a triangle with ex lovers/fwb both liking the same guy

but I also want the show to explore Malakai's trauma, hinting at it in certain scenarios and letting him deal with it; I can't imagine how with the scenarios he's seemingly set in (Amerie/relationship things; Rowan/his sexuality; Harper), there isn't at least an undertone of his own individual exploration of his trauma and communicating deeper feelings that come up

I have no clue what Sasha's storyline will be, but I saw a clip of the cast talking about her redemption, and I'm interested to see where it goes.

So excited for Darren and Ca$h's storyline. I want to see how they navigate Darren's "hypersexuality" and Ca$h's asexuality and character exploration in both.

Some solo friendship dynamics like Ca$h & Amerie, Quinni & Malakai, Quinni & Ca$h, (Malakai & Ca$h would be interesting to see)

Doesn't have to be a ton, but I'd like to see the parents pop in every once in a while (I liked how they did in season 1- Quinni's dads at the beginning of her centric episode, Amerie's mom popping up every so often, Darren's dad). It should feel like they have parents and a life outside of the high school. And please give me more of Ca$h's grandma

#heartbreak high #amerie wadia #malakai mitchell #harper mclean #ant vaughn #spider white #quinni gallagher jones #darren rivers #cash piggott #sasha so

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dg-outlaw · 2 months

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"Holy Childhood Trauma, Batman!"

Okay, let's get into it. *spoilers ahead*

X-Men '97: Episode 5 - Remember It

So without boring everyone with yet another recap as every nerd fandom outlet has that covered, I want to highlight all the things that really impacted me with this episode.

The animation team, storyboard artists, and directing for this episode.

I love how this series has captured the essence and style of the original 90s series, but has amped up the actions sequences to an 11, 12, 13, or 20! It's been a hot minute since I saw the original series, but I just don't recall many truly badass anime-esque action sequences from the OG series. And while X-Men has always been more of a socio-political and interpersonal drama, it's always cool to see your favorite characters use their powers in unique ways and this was Gambit's episode. I also love the addition of tears in many of the faces of characters during key moments. It's a minor thing, but emphasizing them just shows the gravity of the emotions the characters are facing. Also, special mention to episode 1 as well with Cyclops' intro and the ending battle in the sentinel graveyard. This series is what we all wanted back in the 90s and honestly, I'd be fine if comic book adaptations were more in animation form than live-action. CGI and VFX can be cool, but having characters do insane, gravity defying things like in this episode without looking janky is so awesome.

The usage and variation of the X-Men theme.

In both these scenes (above) the X-Men theme is played, but in vary different ways and I love when a score or soundtrack can enhance the mood of a scene or just help tell a story or convey a mood/emotion. In the first, we see Gambit and Rogue heading into battle and the score is slowed down and just has this serious tone to it. We're not having fun. This is war and we've got our game faces on. The second is the traditional theme and fits the tone as Gambit is just showing off and being a badass. IDK. I'm not a student of music, but I still love this stuff and how even the same music can be varied to convey different moods.

The impact and stakes.

Without getting too political (even though X-Men is all about politics and social issues), it was hard to not feel an extra impact by this episode's destruction of Genosha given the events taking place overseas in Palestine (as well as so many other countries that don't get as much news coverage). Again, trying to keep this to X-Men, but seeing the mass loss of innocent life (even in a cartoon) in such a quick and brutal way just sent my mind there and it was hard to not tear up thinking about the real loss of innocent life in our world (but without superheroes to intervene). Not to mention, I was already prepared for the loss of Gambit thanks to being on the internet and not watching new content the second it drops.

Honestly, this episode felt like an epic finale given the gut punch of emotions, the action, and the destruction. I know there are many theories that this could/will be reversed or altered via time travel, especially with the presence of the Watcher and Cable's attempt to warn his mother, Madelyne Pryor, but narratively I hope we sit with the weight of what happened in this episode. Selfishly, I want it fixed yesterday but I know that if that were to happen it would minimize the stakes and take away from the emotional weight of this episode. Also, the X-women are going through it this season. First, Storm, then Jean, and now Rogue.

The Ending and Saying Goodbye

So, as mentioned above I had Gambit's death spoiled and while I hate that I still wasn't prepared. As I said, I was already dealing with emotions at seeing the destruction of Genosha, but when it came for Gambit's end I was falling down onto the ground even more. Add in the rest of the X-Men at home, only able to watch from TV, devasted and powerless, and then Rogue's emotional (Death of Superman-style) goodbye as the episode faded to black... I still can't watch this scene or think about it without getting emotional all over again.

That said, to all the kids who thought I was lame for picking to play as Gambit on the playground instead of then fan-favorite Wolverine like everyone else, this episode and his epic goodbye was just amazing. I think anyone wanting to do Gambit justice in a film or solo movie/series should watch this episode and take notes. While most of us hope to die peacefully in our sleep at a ripe old age, I think going out like a total badass hero is a close second and Gambit achieved that. I'm sure it'll get fixed eventually, but I think Genosha (when they rebuild) should have the Magneto and Xavier statues back up, but also have a giant one of Gambit as well.

And speaking of Magneto, having him have flashes of his childhood and embracing the Morlocks (especially Leech) at the end was just more piled on emotional damage... and apparently this is just the tip of the iceberg for this season according to the writer/showrunner. I guess the writers know their audience is probably mostly 80s and 90s kids who grew up with Bambi, Land Before Time, NeverEnding Story, Gremlins, and all the other emotionally damaging "kid" content we were exposed to back in the day. Do I need this level of trauma or PTSD as an adult? No. But I'll keep watching.

#x men 97 #gambit #rogue #magneto #gambit and rogue #and yes it was great seeing Nightcrawler but why here and now?#also all the romantic drama. love triangles and trapezoids and what not #this episode was one part daytime soap opera. one part political drama. and one part epic anime end of the world battle with stakes.#I was not prepared x-men '97. not prepared at all #so many more thoughts but I'm trying to minimize these long posts yet I'm failing completely

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redpool · 11 months

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Because we are moving, I've been rewatching Supernatural while packing and I've decided i want to make a list of the episodes that i actually like (meaning that I actually like what I'm watching).

Season 1:

Episode 1 'Pilot' - Minus the intro, i usually skip that

Episode 2 'Wendigo' - That last bit, where Dean has the bandage on his throat... *insert debby ryan meme here*

Episode 3 'Dead in the Water' - Enough said, i mean come on..

Episode 5 'Bloody Mary' - I used to be terrified of this ep. But the way the boys are so soft and comforting towards the girls. (and Mary is pretty)

Episode 7 'Hook Man' - Love me some hook man. and the black shirt and brown jacket combo on Dean *chefs kiss*

Episode 12 'Faith' - Dean is just really attractive to me i this ep, he's so sick and pathetic looking and i love it... THE HOODIE

Episode 17 'Hell House' - AHDHGDGDHGDHBGDGDCVGDCB PRANK WARS!!!!!!

Episode 19 'Provenance' - Idk why "HOLY, BLONDE, CHEERLEADER, BATMAN" < I quote that so so much

Season 2:

Episode 2 'Everybody Loves A Clown' -

I want to say Bloodlust because of Benny but I hate that other shitbird

Episode 4 'Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things' - Its just a fun ep

Episode 5 'Simon Said' - ASH MY LOVE!!!!!

Episode 6 'No Exit' - America's first known serial killer

Episode 11 'Playthings' - "Of course, the most troubling question is: Why do these people assume we're gay?" "Well, you are kinda butch, but I just think you're overcompensating."

Episode 15 'Tall Tales' - GABE MY LOVE!!!!!!

Episode 17 'Heart' - uhhh werewolves, need I say more?

Episode 18 'Hollywood Babylon' - another idk why

Episode 19 'Folsom Prison Blues' - two words, Blue. Steel.

Season 3:

Episode 3 'Bad Day At Black Rock' - Bela *Insert debby ryan meme*

Episode 5 'Bedtime Stories' - another fun one

Episode 6 'Red Sky at Morning' - Bela, my love!'

Episode 8 'A Very Supernatural Christmas' - Protective Dean, "You fudging touch me again, I'll fudging kill ya!"

Episode 11 'Mystery Spot' - GABE MY LOVE!!!!!!

Episode 13 'Ghostfacers' - GHOST- GHOSTFACERS, I also love that we see a whole different version of the Winchesters. (sweary)

Season 4:

Episode 1 'Lazarus Rising' - The beginning of the longest queerbaiting relationship ever

Episode 4 'Monster Movie' - do I really need to explain?

Episode 6 'Yellow Fever' - "I'll man the flashlight!"

Episode 7 ' It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester' - ngl the title makes no sense, and there is a reason, i just can't think of it.

Episode 8 'Wishful Thinking' - another fun episode, this is the episode that, that kid that killed his mum and set out to take the Canadian prime minster out is in.

Episode 12 'Criss Angel Is a Douche Bag' - *shrugs*

Episode 13 'After School Special' - BABY SAM, younger Dean 😏

Episode 14 'Sex and Violence' - BI DEAD BI DEAN BI DEAN BI DEAN

Episode 18 'The Monster at the End of This Book' - also *shrug*

Episode 19 'Jump the Shark' - ADAM!!!! Adam ☹️😢

Season 5:

Episode 5 'Fallen Idols' - another fun episode

Episode 6 'I Believe the Children Are Out Future' - JESSE!!!!! There was so much potential in this kid, we could have the greatest duo with Jesse and Jack.

Episode 7 'The Curious Case of Dean Winchester' - BI DEAD BI DEAN BI DEAN BI DEAN

Episode 8 'Changing Channels' - GABE MY LOVE!!!!!!!!

Episode 9 'The Real Ghostbusters' - fair enough

Episode 11 'Sam, Interrupted' - ✨therapy✨

Episode 12 'Swap Meat' - fun episode

Episode 14 'My Bloody Valentine' - "I don't like it!" "No one likes it."

Episode 17 '99 Problems' - "Not you. Or me. Sam of course is an abomination. We'll have to find someone else." & "Well, what is she, exactly?" "The whore." "Wow, Cas, tell us what you really think."

Episode 18 'Point of No Return' - ADAM!!!! Adam... ☹️😢

Episode 19 'Hammer of the Gods' - GABE!!!!! Gabe.... ☹️😢

Episode 21 'Two Minutes to Midnight' - OH, DEATH, OH, DEATH, OH, DEATH,

Episode 22 'Swan Song' - THE BEGINNIG OF MIADAM!!!! funny story, when i had an iPhone i had "Hey, Assbutt" as my text tone and it was almost as scary as when I had Obi-Wan's "Hello there"

Season 6:

Episode 3 'The Third Man' - BALTHAZAR MY LOVE!!!!!!!!

Episode 9 'Clap Your Hands If You Believe' - Souless!Sam is a dick but I kinda love him.

Episode 17 'My Heart Will Go On' - BALTHAZAR!!!!!!!! "Sorry, you have me confused with the other angel. You know, the one in the dirty trench coat who's in love with you."

Episode 18 'Frontierland' - Why is Elias kinda hot...?

Episode 19 'Mommy Dearest' - I just like the bar scene

Season 7:

Episode 1 'Meet the New Boss' - "And who says you speak for God? You're wrong. I am utterly indifferent to sexual orientation. On the other hand, I cannot abide hypocrites like you, Reverend." "Okay, fun's over, friend" "Tell your flock where your genitals have been before you speak for Me." "And who the heck are you?" "I'm God.", basically the whole church scene

Episode 5 'Shut Up, Dr. Phil' - It's just a funny episode

Episode 9 'How to Win Friends and Influence Monsters' - "I think you pissed off my sandwich."

Episode 14 'Plucky Pennywhistle's Magical Menagerie' - "Ha! I'm sorry, you look like you got attacked by some PCP-crazed strippers."

Episode 20 'The Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo' -CHARLIE BABY!!!!!!

Episode 21 'Reading is Fundamental' - KEVIN MY LOVE!!!!!!

Season 8:

Episode 1 'We Need to Talk About Kevin' - That whole first scene, BENNY MY LOVE!!!!!!

Episode 2 'What's Up, Tiger Mommy?' - ALFIE!!!!!!!!! BENNY!!!!!!!

Episode 4 'Bitten' - outside perspectives are always funny

Episode 5 'Blood Brother' - BENNNY!!!! Vampirates.

Episode 6 'Southern Comfort' - GARTH!!!!!

Episode 7 'A Little Slice of Kevin' - KEVIN!!!! Dean isn't even trying to hide his gay.

Episode 8 'Hunteri Heroici' - I'll introgate the cat."

Episode 9 'Citizen Fang' - I hate this episode but yeah

Episode 11 'LARP and the Real Girl' - CHARLIE, MY LOVE!!!!!!

Episode 12 'As Time Goes By' - HENRY, MY LOVE!!!!!!

Episode 13 'Everybody Hates Hitler' - Adam Rose is in it, do i need to continue?

Episode 15 'Man's Best Friend with Benefits' - I hate witches but this ep is good.

Episode 20 'Pac-Man Fever' -

Episode 23 'Sacrifice' - The last scene and speech that Dean says to Sam.

Season 9:

Episode 1 'I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here' - GADDY!!!!!! MY BABY!!!!!!

Episode 4 'Slumber Party' - CHARLIE!!!!! TIIO!!!!!!

Episode 5 'Dog Dean Afternoon' - just a fun one, the pigeon is the best character in this episode.

Episode 7 'Bad Boys' - BABY DEAN BABY DEAN BABY DEAN

Episode 8 'Rock and a Hard Place' - "But when you get down to it, what's the big deal? Sure, there's the touching and the feeling all of each other, my hands everywhere, tracing every inch of her body. The two of us moving together, pressing, pulling, grinding, and then you hit that sweet spot and everything just builds, builds and builds until it all just... [Makes explosion noise] ...But the whole thing was just a little too sticky."

Episode 13 'The Purge' - Out of all of the creatures in this show the Pishtacos are my favourite.

Episode 15 '#thinman' - the return of the Ghostfacers, they're so gay for eachother.

Episode 16 'Blade Runners' - sexy

Episode 19 'Alex Annie Alexis Ann' - ALEX!!!!!!!

Season 10:

Episode 1 'Black' - DEMON!DEAN FOR THE WIN!!!!

Episode 2 'Reichenbach' - Demon Dean...

Episode 3 'Soul Survivor' - Demon Dean.

Episode 4 'Paper Moon' - KATE!!!!

Episode 5 'Fan Fiction' - Do I really need to explain why I like this one? 🎶"JOHN AND MARY, HUSBAND AND WIFE, BRINGING HOME A BRAND NEW LIFE, HIS NAME IS SAMMY, I'M BIG BROTHER DEAN"🎶

Episode 6 'Ask Jeeves' - the interactions are just really funny.

Episode 7 'Girls, Girls, Girls' - ROWENA!!!!!! the only witch I can stand.

Episode 8 'Hibbing 911' - JODIY AND DONNA SUPREMACY!!!!

Episode 12 'About a Boy' - Just a fun episode

Episode 13 'Halt & Catch Fire' - ghosts are always fun episodes

Episode 14 'The Executioner's Song' - the end of Cain

Episode 15 'The Things They Carried' - probably my favourite Cole episode.

Episode 16 'Paint It Black' - I just like this ep

Episode 19 'The Werther Project' - BENNY!!!!!!

Season 11:

Episode 4 'Baby' - self explained, i'd say.

Episode 5 'Thin Lizzie' - idk why

Episode 7 'Plush' - its just funny

Episode 8 'Just My Imagination' - 'She's got sparkle on her face!'

Episode 11 'Into the Mystic' -

Episode 12 'Don't You Forget About Me' - DAD DEAN DAD DEAN DAD DEAN DAD DEAN

Season 12:

Episode 6 'Celebrating the Life of Asa Fox' - It's just funny watching people react the way they do towards the boys.

Episode 8 'LOTUS' - ARTHUR!!!!!!

Episode 11 'Regarding Dean' - Considering that he was going to die this and the Zanna episode are my all time favourites.

Season 13:

Episode 1 'Lost and Found' - JACK!!!!!!! MY BABY!!!!!!!

Episode 2 'The Rising Son' - Jack means a lot to me.

Episode 4 'The Big Empty' - ✨therapy✨

Episode 6 'Tombstone' - GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY

Episode 10 'Wayward Sisters' - GIRLFRIENDS GIRLFRIENDS GIRLFRIENDS GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY

Episode 16 'Scoobynatural' - I like it when they give us a break from the on-going trauma filled story lines.

Season 14:

Episode 4 'Mint Condition' - fun episode

Episode 6 'Optimism' - fun episode

have you guys seen this yet? this is such a cool picture.

Season 15:

Episode 1 'Back and to the Future' - BELPHEGOR!!!!! (i only like Alex's version)

Episode 2 'Raising Hell' - a trip down memory lane

Episode 3 'The Rapture' - *shrugs*

Episode 7 'Last Call' - I just think its funny how Dean faked being able to sing for all those years, I assume to make Sam laugh.

Episode 8 'Our Father, Who Aren't In Heaven' - ADAM!!!!!!! MIDAM!!!!!!! THATS A RELATIONSHIP I WANNA JOIN!!! Oh and its a win for Destial too i guess.

Episode 15 'Gimme Shelter' - Jack & Dean bonding experience.

105 notes · View notes

rosemariad · 3 months

Text

Supernatural season 14

Oh boy!

So Alt-Michael has taken over Dean’s body and absconded to parts unknown - what an unprecedented plot twist who could’ve possibly seen this coming, certainly not Dean, the one guy who doesn’t trust angels and has a history of being short-sighted & making shitty deals.

Since this is season 14, and there’s only 1 more season after this, I presume Dean will never grow out of these bad qualities 🤦🏾‍♀️, so…moving on.

Check you out Sam, leading your new band of hunters, like some sort of Hunters Incorporated©️. I’m glad Sam gets to spend more time with his mom, but he won’t let her take care of him 😔😭

Was it me or did that Michael & Anael scene feel like Jensen x Danneel role play 🤣 - at least when he caressed her face. Like really bro? I don’t think the scene would’ve played out that way if the actors weren’t actual husband and wife 🤣

Shoutout to Supernatural for keeping Mark Pellegrino employed lol 😂😂 cuz I don’t see Why the fuck he’s still around if the devil is supposedly dead - wasn’t Mark P. also doing 13 reasons why around this time?? Anywho, Nick, luci’s longtime vessel, isn’t dead???? What does Nick have that jimmy novak didn’t (or literally any other angel vessel for that matter) — plot convenience? That must be it 🤣🤣🤣

Cas honey, why are you letting these demons beat you up? Cuz Dean is gone on your watch? cuz im sorry there’s no way im believing Cas was weaker than all them demons. That’s also plot convenience IDGAF!

After yet another demon-hunter showdown, Mary and Bobby are spotted sharing a beer & flirting…I wish John were around to see this AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Oh Jack, poor guy feels worthless for having no power. He should’ve been like ‘Castiel what’s it like being worthless?’ since that was Castiel’s arc for a minute too, which again fuck Supernatural for. Cas had like 1 badass moment last season when he fried Donatello’s brains but that’s it. Meanwhile Nick totally called Cas out, bringing up Jimmy again and driving that guilt straight into Castiel.

Alt-Michael is recruiting?? Brief Dean cameo in 14x02, you give him like 2 lines, wow 😒. Even Sam got more screen time in 5x22 swan song…but Dean suddenly comes back at the end of the episode???? Nah, bullshit!

Also lol karma for Dean in 14x02 when Jack is like, ‘Dean doesn’t matter’, Michael has to be stopped. Ahahahahahahaha. He was the so called pragmatist when it came to Jack, now it’s Jack’s turn. Castiel’s face when jack said it tho…

Dean got stabbed by AU Kaia? What?? Oh look yet another instance of Dean running away from his problems and pain and being a dick to Kaia (though she's technically a different person) again! Good for you tho AU Kaia for giving Dean a taste of his own medicine and telling him off.

Bobby leave Sam alone, I’m here for his captain my captain era. The lovable giant is doing his best!

So some necromancer gets away from Jack & Dean but we’re not gonna see her again, right??? There’s just a little over 30 episodes left in the show at this point. They probably didn’t know that at the time though.

Shoutout to the devil for basically condemning his child to die from a lack of grace :/ while Cas was able to survive (cuz plot convenience most likely) Jack as a nephilim was unable to do so. Gabe’s spare angel grace couldn’t help (I wonder if he were still alive in canon, if it would’ve made a difference. Oh well).

So this is where Cas made the deal with the empty (yes I know about it, how doesn’t everyone that shit went viral the very night it originally aired amidst the infamous nail-biting 2020 election week), tumblr is still serving the memes to this day.

Cas doesn’t want the Winchesters to know cuz Dean 😭 idc, if I was Jack I would NOT keep that secret. Dean would know IMMEDIATELY.

I think more angels died, but heaven hasn’t fallen yet…right? They keep coming back to that. Hm…

Nick’s arc is…bleh. Pretty sure in his desperation he just brought Luci back from the empty…welp. I guess when you’re an archangel who was predestined by God to fight in a fateful epic battle against your big bro, you just get certain perks in the afterlife 😒

Sam doesn’t want Alt-Charlie to go when its like bro! She. Is. Not. Charlie!!! For fuck sake guys SMH, let her live her fucking life! God forbid she want to run away to fucking safety and not die bloody like her counterpart 🤬

Bobby and Mary run off to a cabin for weeks on end 😏😂 to recuperate, sure Mary 🤣

Garth is back! Working as a spy for the Winchesters, oh dear Lord no. I know he makes it to season 15 but maaaan I don't like this….

The nerve of Dean to challenge Alt-Kaia to either hand over the weapon or kill her. What if she just killed him? Also, can't they just replicate the weapon for their own uses? All they would need to do is ensure they're using the same materials Kaia did when she forged the weapon in her own world.

How many hits to the head is Sam supposed to fuckin' take? I feel like it's happened more in this season alone than the entire show so far? He should probably be dead at this point 🤣

Jack got taken, oh no! why didn't Michael kill him? To take him as a ward? Seriously? Whatever.

And it turns out the past episode was a long con to get Dean right where Alt-Michael wanted him. I know there was a catch to him letting Dean go in 14x02.

So Alt-Michael chose to trap Dean in…contentment? With Pamela Barnes? And they weren't even a couple, just friends. She called him out on something.

Why not have him be with a real girlfriend of his, like Lisa or even Cassie? I’m supposed to believe Dean's dream is an unsuccessful bar living out his days with a platonic lady friend??? Really??? Bullshit!

John returns for the final time to go back to 2003? Okay. His hair is cut and grayish. Lol so I’m gonna see that as John gained some weight (from food/drink or muscle training idc) and dyes his hair black but the root are grey and come out every so often 🤣 but yay JDM I wish you had been in more episodes! Oh well.

So no one’s gonna talk about:

a) Adam’s existence

b) Bobby X Mary or how Bobby essentially replaced john as the father/husband by getting involved with Mary AND being a surrogate father to Sam & Dean (with a clear preference to Dean but whatever)

I’d care more about Sam & John’s convo if we had more time with them together on screen. But it was nice to see them squash their beef.

Dean & John’s convo was faaaar too brief. But insightful to their relationship. John wanted dean to have a family, echoing his wishes for his eldest in season 1 in his convo w/ Sam.

But Dean was like I have a family 🥺 my emotions!

Back to the Michael bullshit – a fight with a gorgon fucked up his containment so he literally broke out of Dean's body and killed all the hunters who were conveniently at the bunker when they brought an unconscious Dean back there. Even poor unfortunate Maggie. For a second I thought Mary would be there since Maggie mentioned she was on her way back but no, he ended up possessing Rowena.

Then they bring the old angel torture device of disabling our heroes' ability to breathe, like in the season 5 premiere, making them blind (that's new) and making them hurt.

Jack gets his chance to take Michael down, and takes his grace??????

Oh Sam bby, it's not your fault. Those people were doomed no matter what. TBH I'm surprised they lasted this long. But cuz he's a Winchester and he was raised by Dean & they've rubbed off each other too much at this point (nobromo), he decides to focus on yet another case even when Dean himself isn't willing since big bro has pointed out they have done 3 cases back to back. They're not the young men they used to be lol.

Cas goes with Sam to a milkshake town and given his legendary levels of awkwardness he's immediately seen and called out for his inherent queerness by the townsfolk (in all senses of the word).

Aw Sam wants to stay, ofc he does. This town is simple and peaceful. He could use some of that. Too bad this place is making people's heads explode.

This is why we can't have nice things.

Ah subtle there Supernatural, making Jack, a Nephilim who's the offspring of the devil himself choose between angel and devil food cake 🤣 Dean why would you put him in that position?

Cas why you gotta be snitching on Sam to your boy bestie like that 🤣 – typical boyfriend tomfoolery

Oftentimes since Jack started in this show, he's felt like an intern and 14x16 is one of those times. They don't wanna bring jack along so they think to leave him alone doing chores. Good Lord.

Oh honey Sam you didn't have to tell the sheriff you're not FBI, just stick to the monster stuff. He knows what's up.

And Jack sweetie pie you don't need to impress those kids. He should be hanging out with kids his own age. Just Jack with a bunch of babies 🤣. So cute! My headcanon is that he can actually talk to them. At least then it wouldn't have ended with a stabbing. Thankfully he cleaned up his mess, even though the local kids are terrified of him. It’s a shame he doesn’t have friends. If only he was allowed to have Claire in his life.

They finally resolved the Nick storyline (I hope) by killing him off via Jack but Mary is not happy. She’s concerned. She’s been concerned about him the whole frickin episode since he sassed her as they tried setting up a game night with Dean.

It’s like these people keep forgetting what Jack is capable of.

He didn’t have to relish the kill though. On the other hand, it felt like Mary’s concern was a bit much — if it were me I would’ve kept my mouth shut as to not upset a powerful fledging being into killing me by accident.

So Mary dies…again.

This is also why we can’t have nice things. I know Dean’s never gonna let this shit go. Sure Cas has fucked up a bunch, but killing a direct blood relative of Dean’s…nope. That’s unforgivable. I know they’re not gonna let Dean kill off a kid but I know he’s NEVER ever gonna forget Jack’s role in Mary’s (second) demise.

Why couldn’t you leave the boy alone Mary?!?!?!!?!

The boys show up, did they not circle back to pick up their mother? Seriously? Goodness Lord. So depressing watching the brothers just assuming their mommy’s coming back 😭

Cas (cuz of course this shit went tits up while Daddy was away) calls Dean to get caught up on what happened the last episode and is concerned that the Winchesters left their mom alone with Jack. Then why did you leave him Cas? You could’ve taken him with you. Like it would’ve been better if one of the brothers was alone with Jack? Badasses they may be, but they would’ve ended up just like Mary let’s be honest. The only difference would’ve been whichever brother got got would’ve come back. Mary will not be getting that special treatment…

Jack is tripping out since he murdered his foster G-maw - ends up flying all over the world (so his soul is definitely gone? But if it were gone, would he even care about killing Mary? everyone’s trying to track him down IDK why he doesn’t just destroy the phone he has. We get flashes of Mary & Jack’s time together and technically I believe she spent the most time with him (at least in season 13)

They’re still giving Mark P work on this show making him the manifestation of Jack’s subconscious cuz the kill is driving Jack insane 😭🥺 He’s reacting so much like a little boy who knows he fucked up it that makes this so much sadder 😭 Jack’s being driven mad with grief.

Oh fuck they’re going to where she died. Oh fuck.

WTF is wrong with these people! He’s a fucking boy! A super power nuke of a boy, but still a fucking boy! Like the Winchesters never made a mistake! What about the nurse who got killed in 4x22 by Sam? All the people Dean slaughtered under the MoC, as a demon! That’s just off the top of my head! No but cuz they’re the fucking protagonists 😡🤬

Samuel Winchester you know manipulating this child Is 5 different kinds of fucked up!

Jack why did you call it an accident! Did you not want to use the words murder? Destroyed? Obliterated?

Dean you piece of shit, why are you lying to this boy!!!!!! You know Jack’s desperate to make peace with you, and you lead him to a grave he’s never supposed to escape?! Poor thing Jack was sooo scared!

Sam, the regret is gonna eat you alive! Sam, for fucks sake, SPEAK THE FUCK UP! You clearly got shit you wanna say, fucking say it!

Dean you’re surprised Jack’s going along with it?! Of course he’s gonna go along with it, he wants to please you, you shady, manipulative BASTARD!

That’s right Castiel stand up for Jack since nobody else is willing to!

Oh boy, the celestial boy is freaking out. Claustrophobia was kicking in, this shit ain’t gonna end well. It’s a dark day when a psychological manifestation of Satan is making sense more than everyone else.

I’m not surprised Jack got out though. That box was made for an archangel and he isn’t that. He’s a nephilim, technically a different entity, right? now, the Winchesters have a pissed off mega-powerful creature on their hands. Great job team 🤣

that’s right Jack, give them a piece of your fucking mind! Fuck ‘em up queen.

Oh shit! I’ve watched this part a dozen times on YouTube, the part where jack makes the whole world tell the truth no matter what! Donald trump is canonically Crowley’s bitch! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

All hail the stapler queen! Iconic!

And God reveals Himself, what grand timing! He says He came for Cas’s prayer (but Cas prayed to Him in season 6 too, no?) but then He states the real reason for His arrival — Jack.

Meanwhile Jack went to see his real G-maw, not a good plan Jackie boy. She’s put 2+2 together that her daughter Kelly is NOT ok and now Jack has to confess the truth. (Where’s the dad? Was the actor unavailable or dead at this point?)

Sam was outed to love Celine Dion (I love her two Sammy it’s ok, her songs are AMAZING! My favorite is it’s all coming back to me now, I crush that shit in karaoke.) Dean follows a mommy blog 🤣 of course he does, probably cuz he identifies with her more & loves that her life is so full of shit (like I said, he identifies with her).

God don’t sanction lying, the real God would never do such a thing. Isn’t it like the 6th commandment, thou shall not lie? Like dude, the fuck?!

And no, writing means telling stories that are often made up but it’s not meant to deceive anybody. But Hollywood on the other hand…yeesh.

Dean breaking Chuck’s guitar 🤣

Chuck saying ‘DON’T!’ Having Dean shook 🤣

Why are you asking them how things are, like you don’t know?! You’re omnipotent!

They canonically made the British queen a lizard? Damn. These old Americans (the writers) are dicks!

Finally Sam is speaking up! Thank God!

Dean stop blaming people, Jesus, it was an accident (Jack you phrased it sooooo poorly though)! shout out to Sam for taking it this so well cuz he’s been through too much this season alone. He lost a whole fucking army, then his mom after he got to know her this time! And the concussions! So many concussions.

Angry Cas is sooooo fucking hot 🥵 when he slammed that truck with his fist 😏

Awww the first thing he does when he sees Jack is hugs him. Jack needed that so bad!

The biggest travesty is we never got to see the SquirrelVerse!

When Sam asks if God is watching them — Sam do you even know what omnipotent means?!

It’s just like I said in season 11. God doesn’t owe anyone anything. But everyone owes Him everything. He gave everyone the freedom to choose, for better or worse. But this iteration of who God is seems to watch what people and creatures decide to do with their lives. He made the weapon to see who among Sam, Dean or Cas would take it and strike Jack down.

So ultimately when Dean tracks Jack down and Jack throws Cas into a tombstone and Sam is running dramatically to stop it, Dean ultimately decides not to kill Jack. But why though? He kept talking shit about how Jack needed to be dealt with, but when the moment comes, he won’t do it?! I mean I’m glad but it doesn’t really make sense?!

Was it the puppy eyes? Did Sam teach Jack that trick? But Jack closed his eyes at the last second???

Oh Dean, you’re such a fucking softie. That’s on you God. You made him softer than Mr. Pillsberry.

If anything, Dean is the step daddy. Cas is Daddy. And then there’s Uncle Sam 🤣

Sam is many things, but stupid is never one of them. Naïve maybe, trusting, desperate. But not stupid. And not crazy, this time 🤣

I will say what makes this story compelling is the fact that the Winchesters find themselves locked in a cycle of violence at the hands of their Creator, and they’re refusing to commit further acts of violence in effort to stop it all and rebel against their cruel, dispassionate maker. But they have no means to back it up…today.

Not the Burger King catchphrase🤣🤣🤣

Not Jack being…smote?

Not Dean being yeeted into another tombstone?

Sam, why did you think that was gonna work on God? He made the weapon. You really think He’d make something that could kill Himself? Nah bruh.

So we’ve approached the ending of the penultimate season. 20 more episodes to go! Ah!!!! I’m excited but also not since the ending is what I know (mildly).

Side note - Sam & Dean still don’t know about Castiel’s bargain with the Empty (kinda seems pointless since God killed Jack anyway…Cas basically fucked himself for nothing 🤦🏾‍♀️ [I know how it ends but yeah still])

It’s not about the destination though, it’s the journey (I keep telling myself that).

God said fuck y’all. Shouldn’t’ve poked the bear…now these poor innocent people gonna die like sheep to the slaughter. Y’all got a lot of cleaning up to do and with so little people to help you.

So did God undo all the killings the Winchesters did? Cuz damn….that’s 10+ years of work undone. In 1 moment.

They’re not getting out of the cycle anytime soon.

#supernatural #sam winchester #dean winchester #castiel #rowena macleod #mary winchester #john winchester #jack kline #chuck shurley #destiel #deancas #bobby singer #charlie bradbury #rowena supernatural #supernatural season 14

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beansandsprouts · 11 months

Text

Enough

Dean x fem reader

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Summary: While on a hunt, you meet two other hunters working the same case.

Warnings: violence, blood, swearing

You kicked back the vamp who'd rushed at you, it fell into a table breaking it. It hissed at you, quickly standing and eyeing you angrily. It's four friends had already been decapitated, their bodies lying dead on the floor.

The thing began to circle you, you watched it carefully, looking for an opportunity to strike. You were about to lunge when the front door of the house you were in burst open.

Two people, a man and a woman came running in armed with machetes. The temporary distraction allowed for the vampire to lunge at you, knocking your own machete from your grip.

"Fuck!" You shouted, you raised your arms trying to keep the thing from biting you.

While trying to fend it off the man tackled it off of you, struggling with it for a moment. You scrambled to grab your machete but when you looked up the woman had already cut off its head.

The woman turned to you, "Are you alright?"

"Uh yeah. I would thank you but I also wouldn't have been put into that position if you two hadn't burst your way in."

"Sorry bout that. We were going to come in quietly but we heard a crash."

"Fair enough."

"I'm Mary, and this is Bobby. How about we buy you a drink to make up for it?"

"Y/n. And I guess I could accept that." You said, smile tugging at your lips.

Fifteen minutes later the three of you were sitting at a table at a bar sharing a plate of nachos and drinking some beer.

"Youre tellin me you tool out four, nearly five vamps all by yourself?" Bobby asked, shocked.

You shrugged sheepishly, "It's not a big deal."

"Do you normally hunt by yourself?" Mary asked.

"Yeah. I've only every met a few other hunters and they were paired up already."

"Well shit. You must be pretty good then."

"I'd like to think I am." You grinned.

The three of you shared some hunting stories, talking until the bar began to close.

"Where ya stayin?" Bobby asked.

"Mickeys Motel over on Orange Street."

"Oh us too! You wanna get breakfast before we head out of town?"

"I'd love to!" You grinned.

The next morning you all met up in the motel parking lot.

"Yall got any ideas?" Bobby asked

"There's this sweet little place near the center of town I went to yesterday, it's pretty good." You offered.

"Alright. Let's go then. We'll follow you." Mary said.

You smiled to yourself on the way to the restaurant. It wasn't common to meet other hunters, and when you did they were friendly, but not friendly enough to want to spend more than an evening talking to you.

You hoped that Mary and Bobby would be your friends, they were a bit older than you, but they were easy to get along with. Even Bobby, with his gruff nature. He reminded you of your dad.

"No Bobby it was so funny. He was literally wearing those cartoon heart boxers. It was straight out of a Looney Toons episode." You cackled.

"I can't believe it. What an idjit." He chuckled.

Mary turned to you, "What do you say we trade numbers. You being on your own like that, it might come in handy to have some backup."

"That would be great!"

You passed Bobby your phone and he put in his number and passed it to Mary.

"I'm also going to put in my son Dean's number, in case you can't reach either of us."

"There's no way you have a son old enough to hunt." You said, shocked.

Mary chuckled, "It's a long story."

You just nodded in response.

The three of you talked for a bit before parting ways.

It would be awhile before you saw each other again.

When Mary and Bobby returned to the bunker, Dean and Cas were there to greet them.

"Hunt went well?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, we actually didn't have to do much. Another hunter took care of it. We came in at the end." Mary explained.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah. Sweet kid. Think she's a bit younger than you."

"Nearly took out an entire vamp nest on her own." Bobby said.

Dean raised his brows, "Shit. You got her number right? She'd be a good resource."

"Of course we did. We're not idjits." Bobby snorted.

-------

I know it's short but I wanted to set up the story and start putting the good stuff in my next post. Keep an eye out! I'll link the next one in this chapter once I finish. Shoot me a dm if you want to be tagged for updates!

#dean winchester x you #dean winchester x reader #mary winchester #bobby singer #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural

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mittensmorgul · 10 months

Text

One Working Part | Rated E | 40k words

Tags: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Inspired by It's a Wonderful Life (1946), Episode Fix-It: s15e19 Inherit the Earth (Supernatural), Angst and Fluff and Smut, POV Alternating, Not Canon Compliant with Episode: s15e19 Inherit the Earth (Supernatural)

Summary: A rewrite of 15.19 Inherit the Earth, wherein they actually inherit the earth. Again. Because I will never be done retelling the end of their story in more sensible and satisfying ways. This time, via the power of a classic holiday film... with a slightly demonic twist.

Way back just after the holidays, I was talking with @greywrenn about how Cas really needed his own Clarence Intervention, his own Guardian Angel trying to earn their wings. Cas spent so long counseling Jack and assuring him he was loved, and nobody ever turned around and did the same for him. He really needed to see it for himself. And we decided the guardian angel should actually be a demon… and now months later, we have this.

The action picks up right at the end of 15.18 Despair.

Read it all now on ao3, or below the cut for the first bit of Chapter 1:

“No! Absolutely not. Not one single thing more!” the Entity yelled as Cas emerged from the tendrils of inky blackness that had snatched him from the bunker and delivered him as promised for an eternity of oblivion. Only, the expected oblivion had been preempted by an onslaught of wrath. “No, wait, two things more?!” The Entity that ruled over the Empty peered around Cas and stared in fury. “And you?!”

“Me,” Billie replied from behind Cas.

The sound of her voice had him turning on his heel rather than keeping his back to a being he’d now effectively killed twice. It had all seemed like an excellent, if tragic plan five minutes earlier. Cas had assumed he and Billie would be delivered to the Empty in the same state of unconsciousness he’d experienced the previous time he’d arrived there. There wasn’t supposed to be an immediate confrontation. He frowned, shaken from his euphoria over having finally confessed his love and then instantly making the ultimate sacrifice for Dean, and began a quick reassessment of every life choice he’d ever made.

“None of this was supposed to happen,” Cas muttered, taking a few steps back from both of them and looking between the Entity and Billie in confusion. “What is happening?”

The Entity spun around, still wearing Meg’s appearance like a slightly uncomfortable skin and pointed menacingly at Cas. “This one is asking the real questions. But the two of you have all the answers. You did this. You made it loud enough to crack the walls, and all sorts of things are leaking out.” The Entity let a smug little grin spread across its borrowed features and raised an eyebrow at Billie’s gruesome wound. “Though it looks like you sprung a leak as well.”

Cas turned to Billie, and the two of them frowned at one another as the Entity morphed into a different form. One Billie recognized immediately and recoiled from instantly.

“Yes, Death dying is an old trick, even if you’re not quite dead yet,” it said, now using the face of the previous incarnation of Death. “And Dean Winchester seems to have a knack for it. We obviously can’t let that stand. You know that’s a loophole that someone will try to exploit for nefarious purposes.”

“Death?” Billie asked, unsure if it was still the Entity or if her old boss had stepped up to have a chat.

The entity rolled its eyes. “Of course not. You’re still technically Death. I’m still little old me, but even more desperate to get back to sleep than I was the last time either of you darkened my doorstep. The point stands that you lied to me. You promised order would be restored, and it’s only grown more chaotic and fractured.”

Cas watched on, eyebrows knitted, trying to piece together what he was clearly missing from their conversation. He turned to Billie.

“Your plan with Jack, you made some sort of deal with the Empty?”

Billie nodded slowly, not taking her eyes from the entity currently embodying her old boss and looking at her the same way he used to look at Dean, with a strange sort of amused disapproval.

“I promised to help Jack heal the cracks his birth brought about, that Chuck has been exploiting ever since. He’d never had the power to touch the Empty before that, but he hasn’t been able to keep his fingers out of the cookie jar ever since he discovered those vulnerabilities.”

Cas’s frown deepened as he put the pieces together. “So your plan was to simply kill God?”

Billie shook her head, like she was doubting even the foundations of that whole plan now. “He kept pushing. Kept interfering with the natural order. There wasn’t a reset button big enough to bring it all back into balance. He was the source of the entire disruption.”

“He’s also the source of the natural order to begin with,” Cas reminded her. “Without him, there’s nothing to reset.”

Billie turned on him so fast that Cas recoiled from her. She still held her scythe, and Cas wasn’t sure whether the two of them were even technically dead yet since they were still standing there having a chat like any normal Thursday. His reaction gave him a split-second pause to find the part of him that— above all else— wanted to live. Since he’d just effectively forfeited his own life, it wouldn’t do any good to dwell on it in that moment, but he wasn’t about to shove that impulse down and bury it just yet, either. There was still the matter of what the hell was even happening— and why he'd somehow been included in the proceedings— to sort out.

“God’s power can’t be killed, but the conscious entity controlling that power sure can be. It just needs a vessel capable of containing it.”

Cas’s heart skipped a beat as he finally grasped what Billie had been trying to accomplish. That little pang of longing to live got another dose of reinforcement at so human a reaction, but again he forced himself to ignore all of that again. No point in suddenly growing a will to live with the full fury of Death and the embodiment of the eternal afterlife bearing down him.

“You were molding Jack into that vessel,” he said in horrified wonder. “You wanted to hollow him out and shove all the power of creation into him instead.” He grasped for understanding, and a way to put something so unaccountable into words. “To turn him into an Occultum. That’s what all the tasks you had him complete were about. Making him into your ultimate weapon against God. And it had all been a lie…”

“What do you mean?” Billie asked. “I did everything his book said, it should’ve worked!”

Cas shook his head, shoving down his alarm at what he was slowly beginning to realize had happened. “Writers lie, and Chuck is the author of all of this. He’s the reason we’re both here right now, instead of back on Earth fighting back against his story.” Cas ran both hands through his hair and down his face in frustration. “He finally managed to rip both of us from his pages, and we both walked willingly into it.”

“He has no power over his own destiny,” Billie replied. “He can’t read his own fate, only Death can.”

“He didn’t need to read it,” the entity replied. “He just had to write his own ending and his fate would comply with his intent. That’s how your books work, right?”

Billie stared in horror, finally realizing how she’d been manipulated into serving Chuck’s will against the greater order of the universe. The full futility and despair of her situation washed over her as she slowly raised her hand and examined the damage inflicted by her own scythe. It hadn’t spread further since they’d landed in the Empty, but it also hadn’t miraculously healed itself, either.

Cas frowned at it, and resisted the impulse to offer to heal her. In all likelihood, the offer would be unwelcome, and worse, even if Billie was willing to let him try, Cas had no reason to believe he actually could. Before he could decide what to do, she shook her hand out and stood tall before the Entity.

“Did you know that all along? And let me carry out all those plans anyway?”

The Entity shrugged. “I might’ve suspected, yes, but either way it would’ve achieved the objective of sealing my domain off from his interference, one way or another. And you and Jack seemed so determined…” The Entity waved one hand in a little circle.

Cas couldn’t hold his tongue any longer. “How do you think it would’ve achieved that objective if you were willing to let Chuck win? Do you think he intends to make things less chaotic for you once he annihilates the rest of creation? Or do you think he’ll need a new toy to break when he’s bored and the Empty is the only thing he has left?”

The Empty sighed and rolled its eyes, which sent a shiver down Cas’s spine because he’d seen that exact reaction on Death’s face once before, when he’d been under the delusion that he was the new god so many years ago. Something was different about it coming from the Entity.

“He will have run his course, finished his story, closed down all of creation. He’s nearly done, if my calculations are accurate. And then the whole cycle can begin again.”

“Cycle?” Cas asked, feeling a chill for an entirely new reason. “He’s done this before?”

“More times than I can count. Big bang, big crunch, heat deaths of multiverses, a slow freeze thrown in here and there, you name it, he’s experimented with it. Mostly he leaves me alone, but the balance of power shifts back and forth like a cosmic tide. He’ll raid the Empty, cause a big explosion and a lot of havoc,” the Entity added with a glare at Billie for having done just that with Jack, “scoop up what he needs and remake himself in a new image to start over again. And then I’ll be able to sleep in peace until he starts growing bored again. This time he seems to have cheated a bit, though. The whole middleman scenario is a new one… Like he's trying to bypass the whole letting go of his power part of this dance.”

The entity crossed its arms, tapping one finger to its chin and walking in slow circles, pondering all of that as if there were still pieces missing from the puzzle. It gave Cas and Billie a few seconds to exchange panicked glances. They’d both been duped, and if they’d known any of this before they certainly wouldn’t have made the deals they had, and neither of them would be trapped in the Empty now— dead or dying, and unable to warn Sam and Dean.

Continue reading on ao3

#spn fanfic #destiel #things i have written #oh look i'm stomping all over chuck's ending yet again! wheee!#and i apparently don't even bother much with summaries for that sort of thing anymore #there is more detail included in the author notes for those who actually want them :'D #but this is just a straight up (not at all straight) rewrite of 15.19 #but like... good :'D

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sunglassesmish · 2 years

Text

Transcription of Jensen's answer about Cas in The Winchesters trailer.

W stands for Whitney, the question asker. JA is Jensen, JP is Jared. Sorry for any mistakes, and this will probably be long. Thanks to @blanketforcas for helping! Here’s the original video.

(JP talking)

W: My name's Whitney.

JP: Hi, you're what, sorry.

W: Yes, my name is Whitney.

JA: Whitney.

W: I have a question for Jensen, actually.

JA: Ok.

JP: Jensen-y (??)

W: Yes. In The Winchesters trailer, at the 1 minute 8 second mark-

(To Jensen) JP: Walk us through that.

W: We all noticed that at the 1 minute 8 second mark, that the exact clip of Castiel's barn entrance was included. Um, why was this included and what other comments do you have about it?

(To JA) JP: 1 minute 8 seconds dude, you know.

JA: What?

W: You did it!

JA: I did it?

W: I'm asking you! So there at the 1 minute 8 second mark, his barn entrance is there, for you- the- you know-

JA: The Lazarus Rising, barn entrance?

W: Yes. Yes. Its’ clip.

JA: Uh huh. Is there any other clips from the mothership- in that teaser?

W: No, that's the only one I'm focused on. So-

JA: No no no. I'm- i'm- i'm trying to answer your question by posing another one. Is- were there any other clips of Supernatural in that teaser?

W: No.

(Someone in the crowd says no.)

JA: That was the only one?

W: Yes.

(Various 'yeah's and then laughter)

JA: So here's the problem. there's about four or five of those 'sizzle reels' that they cooked up. And- uh- they- I've seen a few of 'em. I don't remember exactly which one you're talking about, or why that would have been in there. Unless it was just- uh- unless it was usage of- of- a particular- I'm trying to think about why that would have been there. Maybe (unintelligible) yeah, I'll- i'll have to go look at it. Because I don't- I don't know.

JP: Why did you wait- why did you wait 67 plus seconds to put it in?

JA: I'm not an editor! I didn't put the thing together! If I were, I'd have an answer for you. Uh- all I know is, I watched it and I was like 'oh that looks cool, I'd watch that.' And that's all they were looking for me to say. I didn't go 'question editor guy: at the 1 minute 8 second mark, you decided to throw in one of the clips from La-'

(video cuts off, now the rest is from the second video, a few seconds after JA got cut off)

JA: Why?

JP: Uh, real talk. Uh, just now Misha, we had a funny experience in May, um- because you know, Jensen and I specifically had been doing the, the season 1 upfronts for Supernatural in '05, I suppose? Uh and we were like the young guys on the network. And then we show up to the upfronts in May, uh- few months back, and we're like the old guys with kids. And we're like 'oh my god' like everytime we're like 'oh thank you sir for all your work. Do you need a chair?’ And we're like, no? And then-

JA: And I didn't.

JP: And they show prequels for Winchesters, and uh Walker: Independence. And the- when, like Walker Independence, uh- had a trailer. He looked over and started- 'give me a break. like great ad.’ I was like uh- I guess? Like I'd never seen it. And then same with Winchesters, when The Winchesters uh, uh- trailer- or- premiere or whatever, played I was like 'man, that's badass.' He was like, 'first time I've seen it.' We do our work, and then, somebody who does that uh, for a living kinda puts it together in a fancy way. It's like 'sweet!' Like, alright.

JA: Well, it- uh- there was a whole- so our editors were putting together, The Winchester editors were putting together a- the, you know, they're busy putting together the first episode. And the second episode, the third episode. Um. This is the studio's- uh, separate, higher editors. They take a bunch of footage, and then they cook up this, what's called a 'sizzle reel.' So, and then it goes to, you know, Warner Brothers' marketing, and publicity team. And they, you know, they look at it. And then they send it over to- uh- produ-

(Video cuts off)

#the winchesters #spn prequel #long post #please rb if you are ok with the prequel or whatever this took so long 😭

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sparxaf · 11 months

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Another Day Another S6 Rant

If you're enjoying S6, please disregard. This is for the grumps, haters, and complainers among us who thrive on poking our own wounds just to re-live the pain.

Oh, Amelia. On day one, this ho had the nerve to say I was the attention seeker between us. And then made every day afterward about her. Imagine the absolute egomaniacal gall of going to a party and stopping everyone's good time dead, to announce that you met someone who made your panties damp, and then demand that everyone congratulate and toast you for it. Then, because no amount of attention is enough attention, yank your sister from the party you effectively ground to a halt, and demand that she validate your choice of panty dampener. And if she doesn't get upset, be a bitch to her until she does. Because you can't spell victim with A-M-E-L-I-A.

I know some people are having a really good time right now (Andy stans out here thriving, living their best lives 🤣), but for me, these episodes were nothing but boring filler. No actual conversations about anything fun or interesting (other than Hamish being hilarious). It was just: Grace whinges about Ozzy, Amelia apologizes for things she's def going to do again, people bring up Eliot like we were in love, and CA boys ask if you've changed your mind in the last ten minutes since you rejected them. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

The sad thing is, if you removed Amelia from the equation, this season could have been pretty fun. Especially the dumping. But because none of Amelia's drama/behavior is allowed to be resolved, it's dragging YOUR story to a halt with pointless, tedious distractions about her, a character you're not really allowed to know in any way beyond vague nostalgia.

The forced relationship is awful. It would be better if you could have started and maintained a path of either indifference, friendship, or antagonism with her. But all you get is a grey wasteland where she behaves like a complete shithead and you really have no way to address it beyond a tiny, petty emotional outburst that she promptly brushes off, and then a moment later the game forces you to act like none of it ever happened anyway because 💞SISTERS 🙄. I literally said I don't forgive her and I didn't bother saying I loved her when I left, but now suddenly we're besties again? Noooooo.

Do you know what could have been fun? If the double trouble wasn't about MC and her twin, but instead, Amelia is your estranged childhood best friend. And the relationship ended over someone you both developed feelings for. So now, you can choose the path of liking or not liking her without the manipulative "but she's family" angle. It'll be based on actions and behavior. In this imaginary season (that has actual branching), on the first day, when the girls ask about your first love, the way you answer it would determine your story with Amelia. 1. My first love and best friend fell for each other and I lost them both (path of forgiveness and friendship where Amelia wants to make it up to you and supports you without hoovering up your scraps). 2. Found out my horrible childhood best friend slept with my first love and never even apologized (path of antagonism where Amelia steals your LI's). 3. My childhood best friend and I fell for the same person. It was complicated and no one ended up happy. (Path of indifference or maybe a mixed path with some drama and some friendship depending on how you react to her).

The upside to this will be if Amelia cracks on with someone you like or want to get with, there wouldn't be the unpleasant vibe of, wow, this persons genitals have rubbed on mine AND my sister's. Which, I mean, the drama and smut of it is interesting, but it doesn't really lend itself to a fairytale romance scenario.

This could also streamline the story because what if Amelia was the obstacle in the slow burn path to Ozzy instead of Grace? Reliving and reversing what happened in the past, giving us the opportunity to heal and grow and form strong new bonds while we handle things better this time around...

ORRRRRR, we could be or be people who joyously refuse to learn any life lessons and make everything much, much worse just for funsies.

Either way, what a fun season that would have been. Sigh.

#litg fanfic writer #litg double trouble #love island the game #litg s6 #litg amelia #litg rant

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dyed-red · 1 year

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What are your thoughts on how much time Sam’s soul spent in The Cage? If we go by established time lines in the show, 18 months = approx 180 years. But Lucifer is an arch angel and we know angels can manipulate time so I think it could have been longer, or least made to feel longer. I also believe that Sam would have been fluent in Enochian after spending that much time with Lucifer and Micheal. Thank you for answering if you have time! And I hope you enjoy and holiday time you have :)

welp - you did it.

you asked a question i’ve been thinking about for over a decade and unleashed the full fury of my brainworms in action. this is the type of meta i expect like 4 people total to be interested in, but i’m going to spend days working on because I Have Thoughts.

the short answer: somewhere between 180 - 5000 years, with my personal headcanon landing just over 700 years, or 1400 for maximum whump.

The behemoth long answer is under a cut because long and math and meta. Skip to the end if you just want the math. The tl;dr is that SPN canon implies that hell has layers and that time distorts more the deeper that you go, and we can build an equation for that distortion and get to basically whatever number suits our purposes depending on what assumptions we make going in.

Time Distortion in Hell

The length of time Sam’s soul felt/experienced the cage is a function of two factors: how long he spent there in earth terms, and the degree of temporal distortion hell creates.

The first piece is easy if we assume Sam’s soul spent 18 months in the cage* (footnotes at the end).

The second piece... Dean spent 4 months dead (time in earth terms) which was 40 years on the rack in terms of his experience/perception. If we take this assumption that 1 month = 1 decade, we get to use some very simple math to say that Sam spent 180 years in the cage.

But.

I’ve always personally interpreted Hell’s time distortion to run a bit different than a static 1 month = 1 decade. This headcanon derives from some hints in canon (or at least, this headcanon is not actively contradicted by moments in canon) and from other pieces of media.

I believe that the deeper you go into hell, the greater the temporal distortion is.

This is basically like the move Inception, I’m not even gonna try to pretend otherwise. There, the deeper you go into the dream within a dream, the more time dilation there is. It makes sense to me that SPN’s Hell canon works the same for several reasons.

For starters, when Sam's wall is breaking in s6, he has flashbacks where 2-3 minutes is equated with what feels like a week in the cage (episode 6x14). We can take this at perfect face value (meaning that Sam’s soul experienced about 5000 years in the Cage). Or we can interpret this to be a function of the episode he is experiencing, where temporal dilation is exaggerated because of the nature of his flashback, or we can say he is speaking in hyperbole.

I think it makes sense for the truth to be somewhere in the middle - Sam is speaking off the cuff, not entirely literal or exact about how long those 2-3 minutes felt like, but nonetheless honestly that they felt like days, felt much longer than our formula of 1 month = 1 decade allows. And I take that as a realistic reflection of his time spent in the pit.

Another, and far more overt piece of evidence comes in Season 11 when Sam visits ‘the Cage’. In 11x09 (O Brother Where Art Thou), we see Rowena, Crowley and Sam in Hell whereas Dean is on Earth, and there appears to be little to no temporal distortion occurring between the events below and the events above. This remains true in the following episode (11x10, the Devil in the Details) when Crowley phones Dean and when Dean comes down to join them in Hell (and Cas as well shortly after).

So - what gives? Is there temporal distortion occurring in Hell or not? Did they retcon that, forget about it, what?

Well, Crowley explicitly refers to this area of Hell as ‘Limbo’, which brings us to an understanding of Hell’s temporal distortion through the lens of the circles presented in Dante’s Inferno.

Circles of Hell

It’s fair and frustrating to say that canon doesn’t give us much in the way of understanding the structure and hierarchies of Hell. That gives us a lot of leeway, but I like to anchor my headcanons to canon if and when I can.

Thankfully, there is at least some reason to believe that Hell in this universe is structured at least somewhat similarly to Hell in other popular works of fiction that derive their conceptions of it from Dante’s Inferno (which itself is the popular mainstream view of hell that even a lot of Christian/Catholics have adopted, often without realizing at this point).

Dante’s Inferno provides a view of hell that has 9 circles, or layers, each one deeper into Hell than the last. SPN implies the same.

We get this from the use of Limbo, as stated above, since this is the term in the Inferno for the first circle. Crowley refers to Limbo as the “furthest reaches” of Hell, whereas in Dante’s Inferno, it’s the top layer. SPN plays fast and loose with what it takes vs. leaves from real-world mythos, but I take this to mean that “far” or “furthest” not in the sense of depth, but as a place which may be vast and largely empty, and which few demons can enter (since, as per the Inferno, it’s not a place where guilty souls actually end up, so possibly has quite restricted access to demons).

We also get evidence of these circles from Word of God through Sera Gamble, who has apparently said that the Cage is “At the bottom of the lowest depths of the ninth circle of the worst bit of Hell.” That’s pure Dante’s Inferno, ba-bey. (/mcelroy voice)

More evidence comes from Season 8 when Sam rescues Bobby’s soul from Hell, since he goes through Purgatory as a sort of back door to Hell, being told that Purgatory is “Hell adjacent”, which is true as well in the Inferno.

Another within-canon indirect hint of this is the association between Lucifer and ice. Dante’s Inferno keeps that the ninth circle of Hell, reserved for treachery, is a large frozen lake. And in the Inferno and in SPN canon, this is where the Devil is kept, in the Center of Hell, in the deepest frozen depths of the pit, the frozen lake in the ninth circle.

Also remembering that in early seasons, Lucifer and his Cage were buried so deep in Hell that most demons weren’t sure if he even existed. His existence was a matter of faith, no different than humans believing in God, according to 3x04 (Sin City).

Based on all this, I think it’s perfectly reasonable to surmise that Hell is vast, but potentially its vastness manifesting in the way in which it is layered, and that there are regions, planes, or depths that most demons do not or cannot tread to.

But okay, even if you’re on board so far, why do I believe that time works differently at different layers? And what circles have we seen in canon?

Situating Each Circle

My fundamental argument here is that temporal distortion in Hell is more extreme at the deeper depths, in a mathematically determinable way.

If we accept that Hell has nine circles (or planes or layers), then we can assume that we’ve seen three - probably five - of them. There is Limbo, as per season 11 and stated above, in which there seems to be little to no time dilation. This makes some sense if we accept that it’s the surface-most plane*, the first circle.

We have also established what’s in the ninth circle, titled Treachery, which is the Center of Hell and The Cage. Given its depth and the lines from season 3 Sin City, we can assume that, much like Limbo, this is an off-limits zone for most demons. If we accept my argument that times moves differently at the different layers, this is where time distortion - really, time dilation - should be the most extreme. It is the furthest removed from the material plane and the deepest well (do not call it a gravity well do not call it a gravity well do not call it a - )*, dilating time and everything around it at its depths.

In between, we have seen The Rack (where Dean was tortured), we have the Throne (where Rowena sat and kept court, since many of Crowley’s ruling scenes are implied to be on the surface rather than in Hell proper, although any of Crowley’s ruling scenes would be on this same level, I imagine), we have The Dungeon (from which Sam rescued Bobby’s soul as part of the Trials), and we have the glimpse we caught of how Crowley restructured the place into endless lines as a method of torment. There’s also the space where Lilith’s horn is kept, as per the Belphegor and Cas scenes in the early episodes of Season 15. I take that to be the same level as the Throne level, since it seems to be where ruling demons would both preside and reside.

Based on the seeming lack of time distortion we tend to see (in late seasons...) when we get scenes relating the Throne level, my headcanon is that this is the second circle of Hell (Lust). In the Inferno, incoming souls are judged here and then sent to which circle their sins have them belong, so I think it’s at least somewhat fitting for this to be where the Throne is. Keeping it closer to the surface world / material plane also has some advantages if doing so minimizes time distortion, since keeping closer time with Earth allows easier monitoring of Earth and tracking of things like deals etc. It also means that higher ranking aka more powerful demons who preside here are closer to Gates of Hell and therefore have less far to travel when slipping out and onto Earth.

In contrast, I think that The Rack is pretty damn deep. There is a lot of time distortion going on to get to 1 month = 1 decade (especially if we allow that a very small amount of dilation is happening at the topmost circles, even including Limbo). This makes sense to me in that The Rack is a place of exceeding misery and horror, literally the center of Hell’s most violent and excruciating tortures.

For that reason, I place The Rack as circle seven, aptly titled Violence. This is not to be confused with the sin of Wrath, which is actually the fifth circle. Rather, the seventh circle (to quote wikipedia at least), “houses the violent”. What better way to re-interpret that in the world of SPN than that circle hosting the torturers and their tortured? Within the seventh circle are those who committed violence against neighbors, against self, and against God. What better place for someone who sold his own soul (violence against self and against God), who killed?

Of course I don’t think it’s so straightforward that violent souls get sent to The Rack. I think any damned soul can be called there for a torture session. But Dean spent his entire time in Hell on The Rack, and that can’t be standard. Bobby spent plenty of his time in hell in a cell, as per 8x19 (Taxi Driver), and demons come here to torture him.

I don’t think it’s a huge leap for me to infer that Dean was special and spent his entire time on The Rack because they were so determined to use him to break the First Seal, and that most damned souls only do short stints on there, either due to limited real estate or so that souls don’t become numb to the violence (since let’s face it, most demonic torturers probably can’t keep them in anticipation of further horror as well as Alistair can, after a few days or months being cut into.) They’re probably returned to their cells to marinate in the memory and anticipation with only minor tortures until they’re brought down again. This is what we see with Bobby and probably with the endless lineups in Crowley’s redesigned Hell.

So - without too much to go on, I’m going to tentatively place the Dungeon with Bobby and other damned souls as being in the sixth circle, Heresy. It’s a circle described as hosting souls in flaming tombs, which I think fits this notion of a dungeon with cells holding on to souls, and keeps those souls close at hand and ready for another go in the seventh circle where The Rack is held.

And this allows me to place the endless line as actually being either in the fourth circle, Greed, or the fifth circle, Wrath. The fourth involves a nation of lost souls who, in this pit of hell, lose their individuality and become sort of empty, which fits what we see in that brief clip of the Hell line. The fifth includes a “savage self-frustration” that seems fitting of the concept of that awful endless line, with sullen and angry souls fighting each other in muck and slime.

Regardless of fourth or fifth (I have no strong sense of which fits better), I see that line as being meaningful outside (above) the sixth circle, in a torment that is less acute, as souls that are less unique and differentiated, less violent, less worthy of turning into black-eyed demons.

Because in the Inferno, there’s this critical division between the fifth vs. sixth circles as the transition between the two being the transition into “Lower Hell” and the sixth being behind guarded walls, with another steep drop from the sixth to the seventh, and so on. This makes sense to me as Lower Hell being a place where they keep the Dungeon and guard the doomed souls, whereas that place outside those walls hosting the damned but less special, less differentiated, the more generically doomed... yeah, it just makes sense to me (your mileage, as always, may vary).

This distinction is important also because of that drop down. If distance and depth are important to temporal distortion, then it matters if the first few circles of Hell involve less of a steep drop one to the next. Here we should note that the seventh circle involves three rings, and the eighth circle (Fraud, aka Malebolge, another very strong contender for the location of The Rack since it’s essentially an amphitheater for torture, so I’ll do the math both ways below)*, well the eighth is basically a funnel with 10 separate rings or steps downward.

Why does this matter? So glad you asked!

Increasing Temporal Distortion at Each Level

If you’re following the hints I’m dropping, what I’m implying about getting deeper into Hell and the further drops down at the later levels is that the time distortion in Hell does not increase linearly. It increases exponentially.

Limbo has temporal distortion that is so minor as to be barely perceptible, if perceptible at all. The Rack gives us an explicit (if fuzzy) estimate of 1 month = 1 decade in terms of perception. The Cage is implied to be much, much more than that, at the extreme end up to 2-3 minutes = 1 week in terms of perception.

If the time distortion was linear, meaning that from circle 1 to circle 2, and circle 2 to 3, and 3 to 4 and so on, we should expect that the amount of time distortion from Limbo (circle 1) to the Rack (circle 7 or 8) to be a much, much wider gap than the amount of time distortion from the Rack (circle 7 or 8) to the Cage (circle 9). Like... it should be 7-8x as much distortion.

And I mean, you could take a linear headcanon approach to it. If we accept that SPN Hell has circles or layers as is Word of God and overtly implied by the narrative time and again, you could say that there’s x amount of distortion at circle 1, and 2x at circle 2, and 3x at circle 3, etc, and this would works okay when we got the math right, but like... it’s not my preference given the way canon works.

What I mean (especially for those who hate math so might not be automatically sussing what I’m saying), is that, for example, if 10 seconds in Limbo = 1 second on Earth (sure why not) then if the time distortion increases the same way (”linearly”) at each new circle of hell, then on the Rack we get 70 seconds = 1 Earth second (or 80 seconds = 1 Earth second, if the Rack is in the eighth circle).

That specific math doesn’t check out (it equates to 23.3 years on the Rack instead of 40, or 26.7 if the Rack is the eighth circle instead of the seventh), but to figure this out we should of course work backwards starting from the 4 months = 40 years. Which tells us that each second on Earth feels like 120seconds (2 minutes) on The Rack. If that’s happening at the seventh circle, then a linear difference between each circle of hell means that the time distortion in Limbo is roughly 17 seconds for every Earth second. This math works out a little prettier if the Rack is the eighth circle because that’s an even 15 seconds for every Earth second.

To me, that’s stretching how much time distortion is implied to occur at Limbo and vastly exaggerating what we see with Sam rescuing Bobby from Hell. If Bobby is actually kept in the 6th circle, that’s 102 (7th circle) or 190 (8th circle) seconds in Hell for every second on Earth. It just didn’t seem that Sam was spending a minute and a half in Hell for every second that Dean was spending on the surface in Taxi Driver, but then again, I haven’t rewatched that episode so I’d have to double check to know for sure.

Between those implications about time distortion in Limbo and Bobby’s rescue and even the Throne room when they visit Rowena to the way Dante’s Inferno (which SPN canon clearly drew from) funnels more extremely downward the deeper you go in the circles, to what Sam’s episode of Hell memories could imply about his experience of time dilation in the Cage (assuming we accept his statement about his episode “feeling like a week” even if we don’t take that number at exactly face value)... an exponential increase just makes more sense, mathematically?

And again, for anyone who doesn’t like math or doesn’t know what that means and why I keep using this word “exponentially,” what it means is that the difference between the first circle and the second circle is not as big as the difference between the second circle and the third circle. At each depth, the intensity of the time dilation increases. So that you might not even notice the difference in time dilation between circle 1 and 2, but the difference between circle 5 and 6 is massively noticeable, and the difference between circle 8 and circle 9 is like several times even that big. Like Inception!

So let’s run some final calculations and get you your answer(s), Anon!

Some Final Math and Estimates*

Assumption 1: Equivalent Dilation

If we assume that there is no difference in time dilation from one region of Hell to another, then the ratio that Dean gives us in Season 4 is accurate for all of Hell, and 1 month (30 days) in the pit feels like 10 years. That’s 120 seconds below to every second above.

This would mean that in 18 months in the Cage, Sam experiences 180 years worth of torture.

Assumption 2: Linear Dilation Circle 7

Assuming The Rack is in the seventh circle, then a linear difference at each level means that 120 seconds on the Rack equates to 154 seconds in the Cage at the ninth level. That would mean that in 18 months topside, Sam’s soul spent 231.5 years in the Cage.

Assumption 3: Linear Dilation Circle 8

Assuming the Rack is in the eighth circle (which, tbh, I kind of thing makes more sense even though I argued differently above, but shhh let’s pretend otherwise), then a linear difference at each level means that 120 seconds there equates to only 202.5 years for Sam’s soul in the Cage. Slightly less awful!

Assumption 4: Exponential Dilation Circle 7

The simple way I’m doing this is that instead of taking the time distortion at Limbo and making it x2 at the second circle, x3 at the third, and so on, I’m taking the time distortion at Limbo and making it to the power of 2 at the second circle, to the power of 3 at the third, and so on. I still have to start with The Rack being 120seconds on Earth time and work backwards to get that initial Limbo starting point before I apply the exponent, but otherwise that’s all I’m doing. There are definitely more sophisticated ways we could approach it since that’s a pretty simple linear increase in the exponent, and we could instead make the exponent itself an equation we’d derive through more complex means but... I’m really not about to do that.

So.

If we start from The Rack = 120seconds (2mins), using the exponent assumptions above, then Limbo time dilation is roughly 2 seconds (actually 1.98167 or so) in Limbo for every Earth second (works beautifully for what we see in canon, basically imperceptible), and time dilation in the ninth circle is 471 seconds (7.85 mins) per Earth second. Yes, that big of a difference, because that’s how exponents work.

This would mean that Sam’s soul spent approximately 707 years in the Cage.

What a great number! What a reasonable number, and a pretty damn canon-compliant number to headcanon. I like this number.

Assumption 5: Exponential Dilation Circle 8

As above in terms of the exponent assumptions, if the Rack is actually in the 8th circle of Hell, that much closer to the Cage, then here the math works out so that 120 seconds on the 8th circle being... roughly 2 seconds in Limbo. Because that’s how exponential functions work. It’s actually 1.81928 in Limbo vs. the previous 1.98167, but that rounds to the same thing (2 seconds) in terms of human experience, even if it makes a big difference when we take it out to the difference it makes in months, years, etc.

(But like, this is why I think it’s exponential, because this works so much better for what canon implies about the time dilation there*.)

Anyway, here, this would mean that Sam’s soul spent roughly 327.5 years in the Cage instead of the 707 from above. That’s a big difference.

Assumption 6: Off the Rails

We can also take Sam’s statement about 2-3 minutes on Earth (having a Hell flashback) feeling like a week in the pit. If we estimate conservatively and go with every 3 Earth minutes = 1 week in Hell, depending on how we approach it (depending on if you go with minutes in a week vs. a month and which way you get to a year), you get somewhere around 5000 years (in my present calculation it’s 4984, but I also calculated it another way to get to just over 5000).

Assumption 7: 9th Circle vs. The Cage

Dante’s Inferno distinguishes between the 9th Circle on its own vs. the Center of Hell as the place where Lucifer resides, right at the deepest depths. The Cage itself is remote in Hell, distant from all other demons, enough so as to be a matter of faith to many of them. If we allow the possibility that this all means that the Cage is deeper than the ninth circle itself*, we can add another linear layer or else another exponent (take our equation to the 10 instead of to the 9).

This works out to be:

Rack 7th Circle, Linear: 257 years

Rack 8th Circle, Linear: 225 years

Rack 7th Circle, Exponential: 1400 years

Rack 8th Circle, Exponential: 596 years

Meaning this is a good place to note that... depending on the final number you want to get to, you can use whichever assumptions you want to get there and justify it by math. Remember kids, there are lies, damn lies, and statistics.

TL;DR!!!!!

How much time did Sam’s soul spend in the Cage? My headcanon is that he spent probably either 600 or 700 years there, on the assumption that it was 18 months between Swan Song and Appointment in Samarra, and assuming time dilation gets more extreme the deeper that you go in Hell.

For people who want to make more conservative estimates but still embed some complexity to Hell’s time dilation and/or who be more canon-compliant to other glimpses we’ve seen of Hell’s time distortion (Limbo, etc), I think anywhere from about 200 years to 330 years is perfectly reasonable.

For people who want to go with maximum whump, the sky (5000) is the limit, but you can mathematically point to up to 1400 being pretty reasonable.

*Footnotes

1. Because canon plays fast and loose with how many months exactly have gone by, and some people headcanon that only about 4 months have passed in Season 6 before Appointment in Samarra when Death pulls his soul out. I personally read it as more like 6 months having gone by and think this is the more standard headcanon, so your 180 years is the most common interpretation, and definitely the most easy to defend. I also made calculations for Sam having spent 16 months in the Cage instead of 18 months there though, if anyone is interested.

2. There is also the Vestibule in the Inferno as the opening to Hell, before the first circle, and this requires passage from Charon to cross over and into Hell proper. This is where the quote “Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here” is from at the Gate of Hell, which of course is evoked in season 5 as the episode in which Jo and Ellen die.

I like to think of the Vestibule in the world of SPN as being any and all of the many Hellgates implied by canon, including the one that opens in AHBL2. No time dilation occurs within the Vestibule(s), as a person has to enter into Hell’s circles to properly separate themselves from the material plane.

3. Not getting into it here but if I ever get around to writing an original piece of fiction about angels and demons etc like I kind of want to, some of my worldbuilding will explicitly connect/relate angels to celestial bodies, like literally to stars, with the depth of hell essentially being a black hole, hence why the closer one gets to it, the greater the time dilation there is. Gravity and heat increase near the center of hell in this unbearable way, and then at the very center, like within the black hole itself, it becomes unbearably incredibly cold, like that frozen lake in which Lucifer is half-submerged in Dante’s Inferno. Lucifer existing impossibly both within and outside the event horizon. But I digress.

4. When you think about how many angels are implied to have died in order to rescue Dean’s soul, compared to how simply Sam snuck into Hell to rescue Bobby, I think the circles of Hell interpretation becomes quite important. If Dean was in the seventh or eighth circle, like especially that eighth circle, that’s so much deeper in than the Dungeon. The angels also couldn’t infiltrate subtly, methinks, and had to storm the walled and heavily guarded gates at the sixth circle, through that dungeon, then fight their way down the three rings of the seventh circle and possibly down into the amphitheater of the eighth. We know that their powers alone can’t kill a demon as powerful as Alistair even on Earth, so on their home turf in Hell, it makes sense that demons would have put up a really solid fight against the angels. This helps resolve some of my own frustration at what seems to be discrepancies in the abilities of angels and how dangerous they are to demons in canon.

5. Please be aware that all maths above involve some rounding, since I didn’t think anyone wanted the detailed decimals. I also calculated months as being 30 days and for simplicity, calculated years as being 12 months. I could rework the math into weeks with 52 weeks being a year instead, which gives slightly different numbers, but it’s work so I’m just going to go with these approximations. Also noting that I used calculated everything using excel to save myself a headache. I’m sorry if there are any errors, especially when it comes to the exponents, my brain got very tired. Please let me know if you find any.

6. When it comes to the exponential ones, if The Rack is in the 7th circle of hell, then if the Dungeon where Bobby was kept was in the 6th circle, then each Earth second is 60 seconds (1 minute) in the Dungeon. That’s more time dilation than I think canon implies, because 60 minutes (1hr) in the Dungeon is only a minute on Earth? In contrast if The Rack is in the 8th circle, then 1 Earth second is 36 seconds in the Dungeon. I honestly think both of these are more extreme than canon implies, but again, it’s been a million years since I watched that episode because it’s written by Bucklemming and I cannot stand their writing. But as a count in favor of the exponential argument instead of linear, if time dilation increases the same amount at each circle then 1 Earth second translates to 103 seconds in the Dungeon (Rack in 7th) or 90 seconds (Rack in 8th), both of which are a lot more dilation than our exponential account.

7. For simplicity, I’ve also ignored the different rings which occur at the 7th and 8th circles. Those would, of course, change the math here as well, and we could add another linear or exponential step for each of those rings. That would lead to some crazy numbers because we’re talking about 13 additional steps. Linearly we’d add a few thousand years, but exponentially we’re starting to talk about a geological timescale. I don’t think it’s productive to make that extreme of an assumption about those rings, but I think we could comfortably stretch the distance between the 7th circle and the pit in which Lucifer’s cage sits at the deepest depths of hell if we wanted to, if you wanted to reasonably get closer to that 5000 years estimate.

8. Since your ask mentioned it, Anon, I realize I don’t touch on Enochian in this post but I have two tag-rambles about my thoughts on enochian and I thought I had a proper post on it somewhere but can’t find it. I could/should probably make a post with a tumblr ficlet about that, since I started drafting a canon-divergent post-Hell fic with Sam and Enochian and there’s like... no chance I’ll ever finish it. But anyway.

Thanks for reading this far, to anyone who did.

#spn meta #my meta #hell meta #time dilation #temporal distortion #time distortion #headcanons #dante's inferno #this meta is 5200 words that's longer than many fics wtf #there is a tl;dr though you don't have to read the whole thing #what did you do this week phyn? oh y'know just wrote 4k words of meta to make a hell time distortion equation #that literally no one asked for (except they kinda did but i'm sure not like this)#i get one (1) day off and this is what happens #did i read the thesis chapter one of my grad students is waiting for feedback on?#nope! i wrote a time distortion equation instead #if you can't tell from these tags i'm going a little feral over here #okay whew i'm calm i'm good #i'm not proofreading this so if there are typos or issues or my math is off we're just gonna deal with that reality #probably gonna rb later for timezones because i can

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crowley-the-1-true-king-of-hell · 1 year

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So my absolute favourite Crowley episodes are in order from earliest to latest are ...

Wait before I get there the problem is all of them except the episodes were Crowley gets bullied or worse are my favourites. That's a lot of episodes because the bullying of Crowley, rather than just general rivalry and enemy stuff didn't happen until season 10. So I decided to change it to only the favourites where I can actually explain why beyond "I just love it just because uh yeah it's amazing"

Abandon All Hope

Okay so this is the episode where we see a demon trolling a homophobe and as one of those woke millenials it felt like Crowley was the kind of person that would have a blog on Tumblr and give entertaining rants about the unfair state of LGBTQphobias and racism in the world

The Devil You Know

Okay so this is central to understanding pre human blood Crowley's character. You cannot write accurate and informed metas of prehuman Crowley without having knowledge of this episode in your subconscious influencing you

It is basically a character study. It tells you that he is brilliant as he persuaded someone who didn't fear Crowley or the Winchesters torture or death into telling them where Pestilence is. He got Bobby who is clearly intelligent into giving up his soul

He is dramatic and funny. "They ate my tailor!"

He is quick to anger and doesn't have much patience. "Shut up the both of you!"

He is willing for his allies to get hurt to achieve his their goals. "That's what you get working with a demon."

He is flirty. "Lovers in league against Satan."

He shows more emotional range than most demons we've seen. "So come with me. Please." However his ability to feel the full range of emotions from anger to fear even before the human blood is unfortunately a big weakness of his, because he doesn't think of all the ways things can go wrong when he is feeling strong emotions as he acts impulsively, and therefore doesn't think of contigency plans for them. When he's calm he's brilliant

See most people think Crowley is smug and arrogant and he can be those things. But often he isn't and it's just a cover up for his worry

He is badass. He fought and won against an entire hive of demons single handedly before he became the ruler of fallen humanity

It is also his character centric episode

He also shrugs off being shot with a salt bullet

Two Minutes to Midnight

Telling the boys that Bobby used tongue is a well known, hilarious and iconic moment. To be fair to Bobby he might have thought he needed to use tongue for the deal to work

This is the episode where Cas' first line to him wasn't something something abomination but a surprised "how did you get that?" the first active impression that Cas has of Crowley is curiosity on his ability to gain things that should be difficult to get. That meant Cas never underestimated Crowley even in later seasons when the boys stopped being scared of him because Cas' first impression is that Crowley is very able to achieve what should be very difficult or near impossible

Weekend at Bobby's

Crowstiel is my favourite ship but the chemistry rivalry between Crowley and Bobby Singer is undeniable. It was also kind of hot. "You come to daddy." Them both mocking each other's accents was hilarious

The Man Who Would Be King

His support for Cas and the fact that he made Hell unique from the other Hells we've seen. This is also the episode where we see just how much respect that Crowley has for Cas. He genuinely believes that Cas is able to lead an army and win the war. He respects Cas in every way and even when Cas was in his honey era stage he believed in Cas to help beat Dick. How do we know he wasn't just saying that? 1. Why would Crowley team up with someone incapable? 2. We see evidence both before and after that episode of Cas' intelligence and badassery 3. Iirc and maybe I'm wrong Crowley has never called Cas a moron. Something he has no qualms using on even people he thinks of as friends post human blood like Dean for example

Season Seven, Time for a Wedding!

This is Crowley at his most fearsome and respected. Dean fears him "oh, crap". His demons fear him "oh, crap" and his unexpected speech about wall street and integrity from a demon was ironically funny

There Will Be Blood

This is the episode where Crowley is one of the most crucial characters of the season. They need HIS blood [ along with Cas and the alpha vamps ] to save the world

Crowley and Cas deserve to be important

Survival of the Fittest

He wins that episode. He gets Kevin. Cas and Dean get trapped in Purgatory and if Dean was a random side character rather than necessary to the plot there wouldn't have been a way out for him

He also doesn't get bitchy when Cas said not in so many words "no thank you" to helping with Dick Roman

The Great Escapist

Crowley sees Cas and his eyes light up. That is good acting to make even your irisises gleam. The look was very affectionate. It wasn't a smug yes I have Cas now! Angel tablet let's go! It was a soft adoring look

It was also nice for Crowley to have a win. It also shows just how good his logical thinking is and how he can draw the right conclusions from the information available to him. Plus his devil bullet idea was a creative solution to not having to get within an angel's smiting range

Clip Show

He called the Winchesters out for their collateral damage and they needed to be called out tbh. That was so satisfying. This episode is also a reminder to us that he isn't just funny dramatic Crowley as he is also "the ruler of fallen humanity" and Crowley shows that dark side of himself

Devil May Care

He had been tortured with a sledgehammer and he behaved like his nails had been painted. Badass. What a king 💅

Road Trip

There is evidence suggesting Crowley wasn't trying his best to hack Gadreel in order to force Dean into a deal where he gets to possess Sam and therefore go free

The evidence is that he doesn't do as much twisting with Gadreel as he does with Alfie. The evidence is that the pins Crowley is using to hack Gadreel vs Alphie are on opposite temples

Absolutely magnificent bastard

King of the Damned

Watching Crowley be soft hearted for Gavin was so rewarding from Weekend at Bobby's

The Foundry

The episode you point people to when they ask why do you ship Crowstiel as a friendship or a romanceship?

They play off each other well humour wise. And rather than rolling his eyes or looking disappointed in Cas for the Beyonce name like Dean would Crowley decides to join in on the joke

Crowley finds Cas fun whereas Dean can find Cas annoying

LOTUS

"I agree with agent Zappa." This is where Cas engages with Crowley like they really are partners and was the beginning potential of a friendship

I also believe Cas would prefer being Crowley's FBI partner and I know what you're thinking "but Cas loves Dean" and look I love my partner and I would choose him over my online gaming friends but some of my online gaming friends are more enjoyable to game with than my partner is. It doesn't mean I love them more but in this particular circumstance i.e gaming I would rather game with them than my partner f

For example my partner doesn't really do activities with me in the game he just goes off and does his own thing

Dean rolls his eyes and insults Cas where as Crowley joins in like it's perfectly normal to refer to yourself as Agent Beyonce. He never goes out of his way to make Cas feel embarassed and I just feel like if it wasn't for Dean Cas would really enjoy being FBI partners with Crowley after Lucifer gets defeated as well

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krispyweiss · 25 days

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youtube

Phil Lesh Debuts “The Clubhouse Sessions”

- Episode 1 features Nicki Bluhm, Holly Bowling, Daniel Donato, Graham Lesh and John Molo alongside former Grateful Dead bassist

Sound Bites wants in the Terrapin Clubhouse.

Former Grateful Dead bassist Phil Lesh unveiled his new musical hideaway in “The Clubhouse Sessions - Episode 1,” featuring singer Nicki Bluhm, pianist Holly Bowling, guitarists Daniel Donato and Graham Lesh and drummer John Molo. The session presumably doubled as a rehearsal before the band performed May 9 as Phil Lesh & Friends in San Francisco.

The group sounds musically like a going concern as Phil Lesh and Molo have a long-standing sonic relationship; Bowling channels Keith Godchaux on the bench; and Donato and Grahame Lesh are fast six-string pals. Bluhm is, unfortunately, underutilized, singing lead only on “U.S. Blues,” in an arrangement - much like the Donato-sung “Beat it on Down the Line” and “They Love Each Other” - that harkens to GD ca. ’74.

Harmony vocals are rough throughout the 30-minute video, with Bluhm and Grahame Lesh unable to tie together Phil Lesh’s baritone and Donato’s high tenor. But that is small potatoes when Lesh the elder challenges his youthful collaborators to dig in to “Mexicali Blues,” which doesn’t require slick singing.

“Brown-Eyed Woman,” on the other hand, does. And with Lesh the younger and Donato alternating vocals, the Clubhouse gang comes off more as a cover group than a band taking things furthur.

Sound Bites still wants in the Clubhouse, but will happily peek through the virtual peephole as long as Lesh continues to offer such opportunities.

Now where’s that promised Darkstarathon?

5/10/24

#Youtube #phil lesh & friends #phil lesh #grateful dead #the clubhouse sessions #nicki bluhm #holly bowling #daniel donato #grahame lesh #midnight north #john molo #bruce hornsby and the range #u.s. blues #beat it on down the line #they love each other #mexicali blues #brown-eyed women

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saltygilmores · 1 year

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Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, Season 2, Episode 10, "The Bracebridge Dinner" Part 1

You can read my previous reviews here.

Brace-Bridge Din-Ner Brace-Bridge Din-ner Brace-Bridge Din-Ner YEAH!!!

Motivational Plaque: In a Sea of Run Away Little Boy's, be a Bracebridge Dinner. This is my third favorite episode after "They Shoot Gilmores Don't They"?" and "Lorelai's Graduation Day"! (I know I said it was #2 in my previous post but I somehow forgot about LGD). I can watch it over and over!

It's a beautiful winter's day in Star Hollow. There's a crisp chill in the air, the unemployed townies are hard at work building snowmen, Taylor Doose has assembled yet another front for his financial crimes ("The Stars Hollow Winter Festival", not to be confused with "The Stars Hollow Winter Carnival") and somewhere in North Carolina, Diet Logan is getting hazed at Military School. Ahhhhh. *breathes in* All is right in the world. For now. Lorelai and Rory are complaining that Snow's mouth is crooked and Rory says she has "stroke mouth" which is not a very nice thing to say, and all I could think about is poor Milo.

Me when Dean shows up in a few minutes (but at least he mostly stays in his lane and manages to not completely ruin this episode for once).

No, no, no, no. CHRISTOPHER is in this flawless episode? How did I black him out of my memory?

Jackson's like, "Uh, come again Sookie?"

Uh oh is right. Of course he has a sign that says OBEY. with a giant creepy eye. GTFO out of my 3rd Favorite Episode, what are you doing here you fucklenut? "I know Rory has a school break coming up and I'd like her to come and visit for a few days." How CONVENIENT. Summary: Crusty:Ask Rory if she wants to visit me. Lorelai: Okay will do. ANNYWAAAY Does anyone else wonder where Jess is whenever he isn't around? Just me? Okay..

Have I ever mentioned how fascinated I am by the offscreen, unseen world of the Rory-less life at Stars Hollow High School? Yeah, I know, several times. I admit it's kind of weird that I'm obsssed with an imaginary world where Dean would be a main character.

PUT ON A COAT SWEETIE YOU'RE GONNA CATCH PNEUMONIA!

I am Jess Mariano's defense lawyer, and whatever this Chuck Presby did, I'm sure he deserved it.

Those curly curls. "You saw it was me Jess, why did you keep punching?" *shrugs* "I had momentum." Valid defense. Free my client he is innocent.

Thiiiin lips! Oh he mad. "Luke's coming to the dinner with Jess." "I'll put Jess in a room with Miss Patty." "There will be no Jess left in the morning." I'm starting to think Miss Patty is on a sex offender registry.

Me to anyone who doesn't like my commentary.

Who let Crustypher have a dog? Where is the dog? Should I call the ASPCA?

An appearance by Babette makes any episode better.

Clara is me. I am Clara.

Is this the debut of Jess' Ugly Oversized Vomit Brown Coat? What wretched church donation bin did Liz find this thing in? The only inanimate object I despise more than the Stars Hollow Bridge is this coat.

Hi.

Dean: He better not do that all night. Do what all night? Wave at people? Shut the fuck up.

Hi.

(portrait of the author watching this scene)

Jess & Luke reacting to "there are horse drawn sleighs outside and everyone gets a ride." Lorelai: There's something so magical about Stars Hollow this time of year. Luke: Yeah, there's the magical plumbing supply store where I bought a magical toilet float last year. Listen up everybody! Luke Danes has learned the secret of parenting and he's going to tell us what it is! Luke: I learned that sometimes you gotta lie to your kid to spare them a lot of hurt. Liz knew that Jess had some time off from school, but she never called, so I lied to him and told him his Mom wanted him to come home but since he was still adjusting here that I thought he should stay, and that his Mom was really upset by that but I insisted he stay here. He bought it hook, line and sinker. Heh heh. What?

Also. Like Liz Danes would be sober enough to know or care that he was on winter break.

Jess, sweetheart, my love, my darling traumatized baby boy, my little cupcake sweetymuffin cutiecookie with precious sprinkles on top, here's my credit card, go buy yourself a new coat. You deserve a treat after all you've been through. #BurnThatCoat

I just think it's reaaaal shifty that they bought Liz into the show as a regular character and they made her surface level cute and quirky! Look at the goofy hippy making bracelets for the renaissance faire! Teehee! Did they think I would forget shit like this? NO. I HATE HER.

Now, I think I should get something important out of the way in regards to these reviews. If it seems like I'm not saying much about Jess or Jess&Rory, it's not beacuse I don't absolutely adore the ever loving shit out of him. But everything that can ever be said about Jess and Rory has been said at this point. They have been analyzed, dramatized, scrutinized, gificized, lyricized, TaylorSwifticzed, FanficiSized and picked apart like a herd of hyenas going to town on an antelope. i don't think any other couple in the history of television whose tenuous and let's face it, quite unhappy relationship only lasted less than one season has been dissected as much as Literati. So if I don't put every little interaction, every line, every breath they take under a microscope and gloss over some things, don't hold it against me. Never you fret. Jess Mariano is always on my mind. Besides, my style is more about cynical mockery, searching for Millennial references, picking apart the things no one else cares about, coming up with new and creative ways for Dean Forrester to die, searching the background for misspelled signs, and begging Jess to buy a new coat. So yes I am intently watching the cute scene with Jess and Rory in the sleigh. I promise. With that out of the way...let's continue.

'The gang's all here. So nice. Ran out of room, part 2 in another post, you know the drill.

#gilmore girls #rory gilmore #lorelai gilmore #luke danes #jess mariano #literati #gilmore girls season 2 #The Bracebridge Dinner #Denise Rewatches Gilmore Girls #Ugly Vomit Coat

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