#cats + space docs am I right???

[ramblers-lets-get-ramblin]

Team Spirit- Joel Miller x f!reader

Joel Miller Masterlist | Main Masterlist

Rating: E for EXPLICIT MDNI 18+

Summary: When you go to an Eagles bar to watch the football game, the last thing you expect is to get railed in the bathroom by a Cowboys fan.

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: drinking, unspecified age gap, unprotected PIV, creampie, (kinda?) public sex, tommy miller is a fucking menace to society, football references.

Immersability: reader is able-bodied and can be lifted/picked up

Author's Note: i am a sportsball girlie at heart and i wrote this for all my other sportsball babes. just some silly PWP. Enjoy!

shoutout to my love @dancingtotuyo and my wife @wannab-urs for beta reading and the amazing comments they left in my google doc!

“Do I really gotta do this?” Joel asks his brother. 

“Shouldn’t have let your mouth write a check your ass couldn’t cash.” Tommy laughs. “At least you get a new jersey out of the deal, right?” he shoves the bag into Joel’s hands and laughs. 

“Yeah. Right.” Joel deadpans. He opens the bag and pulls out the silver and navy jersey. “PRESCOTT” reads the back in white letters with a number 4 underneath. He should have known better than to take a bet with Tommy. He prefers to give the terms after he’s already won, doing his damndest to stick his older brother in the most uncomfortable positions possible. He also should have known better to bet on the Rangers, given the season they were having. Besides, everyone knows the Astros are cheaters. Now he’s gotta wear this Cowboys jersey to go watch the Dallas vs Philadelphia game. At an Eagles bar. While wearing a Cowboys jersey. Joel sighs and trudges up the stairs to get ready. 

By the time the Uber pulls up Joel is dreading this evening. The bitter rivalry between the Dallas Cowboys and The Philadelphia Eagles, and their fans, goes back decades, generations. Shove a bunch of people into a small space and fill them with beer, well, you’re just asking for trouble. Add a football rivalry on top of it and the odds go up even more. 

“We don’t have to stay the whole time, right?” Joel asks. 

“‘Course we do, Joel. We can’t let those Eagles fans think they ran us off, can we?” Tommy replies with a mischievous glint in his eyes. He almost seems like he’s hoping for some trouble. “Besides, Sarah is at Mom’s all night. Maybe we can find some girls to go home with.” he laughs. 

“In an Eagles bar?” Joel scoffs. “Not likely, little brother.” he claps Tommy on the shoulder and laughs. 

~~~~~

You step out of the Uber calling a “Thank you!” over your shoulder to the driver. You walk past the entrance to The Bee’s Knees, and climb the stairs to its sister bar, The Cat’s Pajamas. The tiki decor of the rooftop bar that once caught you off guard now welcomes you like an old friend. A set of jet skis sit in one corner, next the bathrooms. On the opposite side of the bathrooms is a large screen that the games are projected on . The bar is an enclosed square in the middle, complete with a fake grass roof. Two sides are furnished with stools, one is open for customers to line up. The fourth side, the one directly in front of the projection screen, the stools have been replaced with five large, wooden swings. They hang from the roof with rope handles. As you well know, after a few drinks those things can be dangerous. 

As you survey the room, looking for your friends, a man sitting at one of the picnic tables along the back wall catches your eye. He’s older than you, by about fifteen years you guess. He’s wearing jeans and a denim jacket, zipped all the way up. His patchy beard is graying and his brown hair is just starting to curl around his ears and the nape of his neck. His eyes flick from one of the many tv screens to yours and back again. Then, he looks towards you again, holding your gaze this time. One side of his mouth turns up in a smile, albeit a shy one. The hint of a dimple appears on his cheek. You return the smile but your view of him becomes obstructed by another man. He’s younger and his jet black hair is long and curly. He sets a tallboy of Lone Star down in front of the first man. You aren’t sure if they exchange words but the younger man turns to look at you over his shoulder and gives you a grin, displaying his perfect pearly whites. 

You feel a little nervous so you continue in your quest to find your friends. By the time you’ve made the rounds, saying hello to all the regulars, your friends still haven’t arrived. You sit on a barstool near the end of the bar. The opposite end from where the handsome man and his companion are. You glance towards his table once more and find that his gaze had returned to the tv. Kickoff is in five so you give your drink order to the bartender and pull out your phone. You have several unread texts, all from your friends. “Shit.” you say under your breath. None of them are going to make it. Oh well, you think. You’re already here and there isn’t a place in downtown Austin where you feel safer. You aren’t super close with anyone here, but you know quite a few of them well enough to feel comfortable staying here alone. 

The bartender slides you your own Lone Star just as the game starts. The Cowboys are receiving first and the Eagles defense holds them off. After three downs and only twenty yards gained, they punt the ball to the Eagles. By the end of the first quarter, you’re on your second beer and the score remains tied at zero. You drain the can and raise it in the bartender’s direction. “Another, please!” you call down to him. 

“Put it on my tab.” you hear from beside you. You turn and see the handsome man from earlier. He’s holding up two fingers to the bartender. “Plus another round for me and my brother.” he turns and smiles at you. A real one this time. His eyes are a deep brown and the skin crinkles at the corners. His lips are full and topped with a plush mustache. 

“Thank you.” you offer him a smile of your own in return. 

“I’m Joel.” he says, handing you your beer. 

You take the can from him and he smiles again when you tell him your name. 

“Nice to meet you. Mind if I sit here?” he asks, pointing at the stool in front of him. 

“Not at all.” you say with a shake of your head. 

“Let me go drop this beer off to my brother. Be right back.” 

He struts over to the picnic table, he appears to hold his head just a little higher now. When he sets the beer down in front of the other man, and cocks his head in your direction. Two two men exchange a few words and when Joel’s brother looks in your direction, you drop your eyes down to your phone. They’re too far away for you to hear what they are talking about anyways. After a moment, Joel returns, leaving one stool empty between you as he sits on the next one. 

You place your phone on the bar and when you look back over to him, your eyes feel like they might bug out of your skull. Is he fucking serious? You wonder and your mouth gapes open. He took off his jacket and left it at his table. He’s sitting there in a Cowboys jersey. 

“You’re brave for wearing that thing here, ya know?” you say, tilting your beer can in the direction of his jersey. He laughs and raises his own can to his mouth. He swallows with a few loud gulps and you can’t help but be mesmerized at the way his Adam’s apple bobs up and down with each swallow. You find yourself wondering what the deep hollow of his throat might feel like under your tongue. 

“I lost a bet.” he replies, setting his beer down on the bar and nodding his head towards his brother. “You look a little disappointed.” he says with a soft chuckle. 

“I am.” you reply bluntly. “I was just starting to think you were cool.” he looks a little disappointed himself until you curl your lips into a smirk. 

“Would you still be willing to let me watch the game with you?” he asks, leaning his shoulder a little closer to you. 

“Sure! As long as you don’t get any closer. Wouldn’t want any of my friends to think I was fraternizing with the enemy.” 

He raises his eyebrows and something mischievous flashes in his eyes. “Is that what we’re doin’?” he asks. “Fraternizing?”

“Game’s back on.” you say, avoiding the question. You turn back towards the tv and turn your beer nervously. 

“Mmhmm.” Joel replies, returning his attention to the game. You see the smile return to his face from the corner of your eye and feel a little flutter, low in your belly. 

~~~~~

“FLY, EAGLES, FLY

ON THE ROAD TO VICTORY.

FIGHT, EAGLES, FIGHT

SCORE A TOUCHDOWN 1-2-3

1-2-3

HIT ‘EM LOW

HIT ‘EM HIGH

AND WATCH OUR EAGLES FLY

FLY, EAGLES, FLY 

ON THE ROAD TO VICTORY 

E-A-G-L-E-S

EAGLES!” 

Joel groans in his seat as the bar breaks out in yet another round of the Eagles’ fight song. The one you all sing after a Philly touchdown. He excuses himself to the bathroom at halftime and when he returns, He takes the stool right next to you. You don’t miss the dirty looks he, and now you, are getting from the ever rowdy crowd. You get to know each other better during halftime. Joel tells you about his daughters, Sarah and Ellie, who are away at college, and the construction business that he owns with his brother. Tommy has had no trouble  chatting up all the ladies, even in his own Cowboys jersey. You’re pretty sure the tight fit was a conscious choice, same as his jeans. You tell Joel about your own job and family, and what it’s been like growing up an Eagles fan in Texas. You were wrong about his age. He’s even older than you thought. But, damn, he looks good for his age. 

You both switch to water when the second half commences. It’s Monday night after all. Joel’s enthusiasm for the game starts to sour at the end of the third quarter, with the Eagles winning 42-7. He finds it hard to keep his attention on the screen at all, in fact. He’s much more interested in you. Your own interest grows by the second. He’s charming and handsome, sure. But what really gets you is the way he beams with pride when he talks about his daughters. 

The bar erupts in cheers when the Eagles force yet another turnover. With less than two minutes remaining in the game, Jalen Hurts takes a knee. He repeats the action twice more, running the clock down to under forty seconds. Joel lets out another groan and buries his head in his hands on the bar. Suddenly, an idea strikes you. 

“C’mon.” you say, grabbing his hand and dragging him off the stool. 

“Where are we goin’?” he asks curiously. But he follows along, gripping your hand even tighter. 

His rough palm engulfs yours and you lead him to the far corner of the bar where the employee bathroom is hidden. 

“What are you doin’?” he asks when you haul him into the bathroom and click the lock behind you. 

“Givng you a consolation prize.” you say slyly. “Unless you don't want it.” you tease. 

Joel picks you up and spins you around. He presses your back against the door and your legs circle his trim waist. Your skirt rides up and you can feel the soft swell of his stomach against your clothed core. “I’ve been thinkin’ about doin’ this all night.” he says. 

“Well go on then, Cowboy. Do it.” you urge. 

Joel’s lips crash against yours and he grabs the meat of your ass through your skirt. He moans into your mouth when you gently tug on the curls at the nape of his neck. He grips you tighter and spins you both around. The bathroom is small so he only has to take two steps before he’s setting you down on the counter, never moving his mouth from yours. When you finally separate to catch your breath, you are both panting. Neither of you have any desire to take things slow. You pull Joel’s jersey over his head and he catches it right before you drop it on the floor. 

“Let’s not be naughty, huh?” he teases and drops it onto the counter beside you. He grabs a knee in each hand and spreads them wide. He drops to his knees and runs his hands up the insides of your thighs. The work-worn, rough skin of his palms catches on the thin fabric of your fishnets. His hands disappear beneath the hem of your skirt and his thumbs stroke the creases of your thighs. The heat from his skin is so close, but not close enough. Your hips buck of their own accord, your pussy aching for some attention. Joel moves his thumb to your covered mound, searching for your clit through the layers. “This where you want me, darlin’?” he asks, pressing against the lace of your underwear, the cute ones you almost didn’t wear. 

He tsks when you nod in response. “C’mon now, baby. You had plenty to say earlier, all that trash talk. Use your words.” he instructs. You open your mouth, but the only thing that comes out is a whine. Joel snatches his hand away, resting it just above your knee. “Words.” 

“Yes, please. That’s where I want you.” you pant. Desire courses through your entire body. The flame he stoked with just a few strokes of his hand burning low in your belly. 

“Good girl.” he says softly, looking up at you from where he kneels. He pulls your skirt the rest of the way up and the countertop stings your skin cold. He hooks his fingers in the crotch of your fishnets and rips. He tears them all the way up, so they are only held together by the elastic band at your waist. He taps his fingers against your hips as he grabs the sides of your lace panties. You hold on to his shoulders and raise up off the counter, allowing him to drag your underwear down your legs. He pulls them over the toes of your clunky boots, one at a time and slips the black scrap into his back pocket. 

His knees crack as he stands and moves between your legs. One hand rests on the back of your neck, tilting your head up towards his. With the other, he drags his finger up the seam of your cunt, separating the slick folds, making room for himself. When he leans down, you think he’s going to kiss you, but he surprises you by bringing his mouth to your ear. 

“I’d give anything to be able to take my time with you.” he whispers. The heat of his breath causes a shiver to run up your spine. “To lay you down on my bed. Take you apart with my hands, my tongue.” he dips a finger inside you, but just barely. He gathers the slick forming there and drags it up. “And then split you open on my cock, again and again.” your breath catches in your throat when he begins to circle your clit. “Until you’re beggin’ me to stop.”

He pulls away from your ear and catches your bottom lip in his teeth. At the same time he slips his middle finger into you. You arch your body into his and he continues rubbing circles over your clit. 

“Fuck, Joel.” you whine. “I’m so close, baby.” he curls his finger inside of you and picks up the pace with his thumb.

“C’mon, darlin’.” he urges. “Come for me.” and when he attaches his lips to your pulse point, you do. You bury your face into his chest, sinking your teeth into the flesh to muffle the sounds of your pleasure. Joel moans loudly in your ear the moment you taste the warm copper on your tongue. 

The aftershocks have barely abated when your hands fly to his belt. Your thighs want to clench at the sound of metal against metal, but you can’t. His thick thighs block the motion. You flick the button and drag his zipper down and Joel’s mouth never leaves you. Your mouth, your jaw, your neck. You grab his jeans and boxer briefs and shove them down. He pulls you forward on the counter so that your ass is teetering on the edge. 

His cock pops out of the waistband of his boxers and rests against the soft trail of hair under his belly button. He looks over his shoulder, double checking that the door is locked and runs the tip of him through your soaked folds. He catches at your entrance and when you moan, please, he pushes inside. He feeds his cock to you slowly, allowing your walls to stretch for him, mold to the shape of him, until he’s sheathed fully. 

Joel’s breath is quick and heavy in your ear as he pumps his hips in and out of you, hand held tight to the small of your back. The nudge of his thick head against your cervix punches the breath out of you. You rake your nails across the broad expanse of his shoulders and he groans against your ear. The muffled sound of the fight song trickles in under the door and you find yourself thankful for the noise. Then, an idea strikes you. 

Joel doesn’t seem to notice when you first begin to hum in his ear. Either that, or he’s too pussy drunk to care. Your own rendition of “Fly, Eagles, Fly” is interrupted by moans and stuttered breaths, but you persevere. The rivalry doesn’t just go away because he’s inside of you. 

“The hell are you doin’?” he punctuates the question with a particularly sharp thrust. 

“C’mon, Joel. Say it just once. For me?” you clench your walls around him, squeezing him tight. His pace falters and he squeezes you tighter against him. 

“Pussy’s so good, baby.” he groans. “But it ain’t that good.” 

Suddenly, he pulls out of you. He grabs your ass and pulls you off the counter, hands on your hips to steady you. Once he’s sure your legs won’t wobble, he spins you around. He gathers both of wrists in one of his large hands and holds them in front of you, stretching them towards the mirror. There’s a near feral look in his eyes when he raises his hand, bringing it down in a swat to your ass cheek.He watches the ripple of your skin as he takes his cock in his hand and eases it back into you. 

“Oh my god.” you cry. He’s so much deeper from this angle. He nudges against something devastating inside of you. Something you never knew existed. It doesn’t take Joel but a moment to build up to a bruising pace. Your eyes never leave his face in the mirror, watching him pound into you with a hunger you didn’t expect from a man his age. Tension coils through your entire body, like a snake gearing up to strike. 

Joel’s eyes catch yours in the mirror and he gives you a devilish grin. “Gonna fuck that team spirit right outta ya.” he growls. He grips your shoulder, pulling you back onto his cock with each thrust. The smile returns when he feels your pussy fluttering around him. “That’s right, darlin’. Be a good girl. Give it to me.” 

Your orgasm crashes through you. You can feel it everywhere, the strain in your biceps where he’s stretching your arms. The tips of your toes where you stand on them to give him access. Low in your belly when you gush around him, drawing his own release from him. He comes with a shout, pulsing inside of you. He’s so big, fills you so completely, that you can feel every throb and shudder of his cock as he paints your walls. 

He releases your wrists and you fall against the counter. Joel slumps over your back and the two of you fight to catch your breath. The noise from the bar begins to quiet down as people disperse for the evening. Joel stands and pulls his pants up and you hide your ruined tights as best you can with your skirt. 

Joel chucks you under the chin and presses a light kiss to your lips. “Guess we better get out there huh?” 

You sigh and smooth your clothes once more, nodding in agreement. Joel unlocks the door and pops his head out, making sure the coast is clear. “I’ll go first. See you out there?” he nods towards the bar with his head.

“Yeah,” you nod. “See you out there.” the door closes behind him and you turn to the mirror to give yourself the once over. Satisfied that you don’t look freshly fucked, you step into the hallway. You feel a twinge of disappointment when you don’t see Joel, but continue down the hallway, back to the bar.

You see him walking towards the table he started the night at, interrupting Tommy’s conversation. Tommy looks up at his brother and breaks out into a grin. His eyes flick over Joel’s shoulder to you, and he gives you a wink. Joel turns and smiles, waving you over. He introduces you to Tommy, who shakes your hand before returning to his own chance for a consolation prize. 

“So,” you begin. “Maybe I’ll see you here next week?” you ask hopefully. 

Joel huffs out a laugh and shakes his head. “No, darlin’. I don’t think you will.” When you look down at the ground, dejected, Joel once again raises your chin with his fingers. “But you can come over and watch the game at my place if you want.” he offers hopefully. 

“I’d like that.” you tell him. Offering him your phone to input his number. 

Tommy throws an arm around Joel’s shoulder. His other is slung across the waist of the woman he was talking to. “C’mon big brother. Ride’s waitin’.” he says. Joel hands you back your phone and bends to kiss your cheek. When he does, Tommy lets out a loud “Whoo!” and before you know it, your forgotten panties are clutched in his fist. “What do we have here?” he teases and pushes the balled up fabric into Joel’s hand. 

Joel glares at his brother before tucking the panties into the pocket of his jacket. “Text me when you make it home?” he asks quietly. You nod and they leave. As you watch him walk away, you realize what you just agreed to. The game meant something different to you than it did him. Now you gotta go watch a fucking Cowboys game. 

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[nekokoaa]

The Agreement - Miguel O'Hara x Therapist!Reader (II)

Summary: It was simple. No kissing. No sex. Hugs and hand-holding only. The goal was to help Miguel feel a little less lonely sometimes. That was your job as one of the therapists at HQ, to mentally stabilize everyone’s mind, including the boss’s.

In other words, you and Miguel make a deal.

Rated Explicit, fluff, smut

3.1K words | (2/5) chapters

Chapters:

(I) (II) (III) (IV) (V)

Author's notes: Good news, this fic has been extended to 5 chapters! 6 if I decide to do a chapter in Miguel's POV. We'll see! Also I think some people reached out to me about a tag list! Definitely comment on this post if you want to be added :)

Also on AO3

II.

The first session was the staple of this agreement for a while. To the point where it felt like you were disturbing Miguel when you would appear after his missions. You thought it was when he needed you the most. With the job comes the stress—the anxiety. Every spider-person knew that whether you were one month in or had years on the job. You all knew there was only one person who could protect the people and it was a cesspool of pressure all spider-people were carrying. 

Including Miguel.

So you would visit him after his missions with the intention of closing that cesspool. And every time, he would greet you with that scowl on his face. It would be there from the beginning to the moment you're sliding your hand over his, innocently, gently. A touch he hasn’t felt in God knows how long. A touch he ignored he needed, but never complained about.

In the first few sessions, little was said between you two. Mostly talked about mission statuses and the mental health of the spider-people. Within time, the topics expanded to your universes and your homes. Nueva York being his. New York was yours. And later, by the end of every session, you were discovering layers of Miguel most didn’t know about.

It left you curious to the point where you looked forward to his sessions every week. You tried not to cross any boundaries—but you ended up sharing more about yourself with him than other spider-people. Usually, you were the one listening and advising.

“Cat got your tongue, has it?” It wasn’t the sound of Hobie’s voice that pulled you from your thoughts but the light strum of his guitar, the normally loud instrument’s sound was weakened without an amp. As always, he lounged on your office couch, feet kicked up on the armrest with his guitar on his lap. 

“Not necessarily,” you responded, feeling embarrassed that you had spaced out when he was talking. Noticing, Hobie smirked. He loved it when things seemed awry.

“I seen it all. Little Miss Perfect in her head. Maybe I should be the doc and you’re the patient, yeah?”

“Maybe we should start having these sessions during the day. You do know it’s 1 AM.” Late sessions with Hobie felt more like you were hanging out with a friend. A waste of time but much-needed company.

“So?” Hobie shrugged, a melody was released from the strings. “Night is when the fun happens, mate.”

And Hobie was right. Your sessions with Miguel were always late in the night when most spider-people returned to their universes. Miguel would still be working, red eyes on those orange screens. You would be next to him, close to where you could feel each other’s heat. Sometimes presence was just enough. During these sessions, the clock’s minute hand would move a little too fast. An hour went by like a minute and then you would overstay. You didn’t know what to call those moments after. It was better to not give them a name.

You would leave and return with two coffees. Miguel would thank you, pulling away from his work and then you would chat till the night aged. The night never expired without hearing one of Miguel’s witty but rude comments.

And when you would give him a smile and your hand went on his bicep, it meant you were leaving.

It meant the fun was over.

Yeah, Hobie was definitely right. You were way too much in your head. Even now as the clocks strike 10 PM as you waited for Miguel in his office. Tonight wasn’t a session, but you wanted to check in to see how he was doing. That was normal, right? Checking in? Not like you did it to anyone else but it was still normal in your mind.

It was better than returning to your universe—to your empty white-walled apartment. There were memories buried within that place that you would like to forget.

First came the tremors, and then the tiny hairs on your skin erected. The pen you were holding slipped from your fingers, levitating above you. Gravity no longer existed for small objects and the air became dry but moist at the same time. It was like logic itself was confused as reality was torn open by a yellow portal and who emerged from it was, of course, Miguel fully covered in his spider suit. The sight so familiar, you had thought back to when you were first recruited by the Spider Society. 

Imprisoned by the white walls of your apartment, you felt that same energy shift and that yellow portal appeared in your room like a stain. But to you, it was a hexagonal halo around Miguel who emerged from it, reaching into your universe, saying the words, “doc, we need your help.”

Life was never dull after that.

“Do I look like a blue panther to you?” Miguel approached you with his arms out. You hummed, turning your head sideways as your eyes trace over Miguel’s figure. The yellow portal closed behind him, and soon reality had returned to its natural state. You could feel Miguel getting annoyed the longer it took for you to answer. His hands went on his hips, eyes narrowing.

“Wellll….”

“Ugh, give me a break,” he brushed past you as you laughed. You followed him, grabbing hold of his arm to stop him from walking away.

“I’m kidding! Kidding!”

“ Ha ha ,” he scoffed, shrugging his arm out of your grasp. Like a red laser, his webs shot out from his wrist and he lifted himself onto his floating platform. Even after his missions, he still dived back into work. “Lyla, create a new recruit profile for Gwen Stacy, Spider-Woman from Earth-65.”

“Earth-65?” You webbed yourself after him, peeking from behind his back to look at the orange-screened monitors. “I thought that was one of the universes we’re not recruiting.”

“Jess wanted her to join. She helped us capture Vulture and… I guess she did a pretty good job at it.” Miguel pulled up a hologram of the security camera in the Villains Cell Block. Jess was processing the captured Vulture to send him home in the next line up and next to her was a teenager with blond hair, the ends of it dyed soft pink. You assumed that was Gwen as Miguel zoomed in on her face.

It was rare to impress Miguel so much that he was willing to bend his own rules. Gwen Stacy from 65 was friends with the anomaly. “Cool, then I’ll schedule a session with her. Can’t wait to meet her.”

“What are you even doing here anyway?” Miguel asked, giving you a side-eye glance as he swiped the hologram away. A few more popped up about the last mission he was on and a couple more he had to do in the future. “We did our session this week.”

“Aah,” you had rehearsed your reason several times before arriving in his office and your mind still came up blank. “Just… checking in.”

You could tell he raised his eyebrow behind his mask, “Checking in?”

“Uh yeah, isn’t that normal?” You so wanted to bury yourself underground.

“Then you must have a lot of free time on your hands, doc.” Miguel shook his head, not bothering to inquire more. Not like he had any time to. His mask disintegrated and he shifted his focus to his work. You would’ve left him alone at that point because Miguel didn’t like to be disturbed once he got started until you noticed something off about his face.

“What happened to your lip?” You asked, noticing the dried blotch of blood on the corner of his bottom lip. It even looked a bit swollen.

He let out something like a sigh, a groan, or something in between before speaking quickly. “I don’t know probably happened in the fight or something—Lyla!”

“You should treat it. It could get worse, maybe even infected.” Your fingers grazed his jaw, tilting his head slightly up while tiptoeing to examine the cut. Perhaps, it was because of these sessions that you have gotten so used to touching Miguel. Before, you would’ve earned a warning scratch on your hand by now so something had changed in him as well.

“Infected?” Miguel let out a condescending laugh, his fangs making an appearance. His brown eyes deepened into red as they looked you down. It was almost as if he was mocking you. “Don’t you know who you’re talking to?”

“Does it matter? We’re still human, aren’t we?” It was a question you received so often from your patients that you suddenly found yourself asking that exact same thing. You had yet to find an answer that made sense. Yes, you’re human. No, you’re not. Maybe it was easier to not create a binary answer and to just go with what you believed in. At least that’s what you told your patients when they sat on your office couch. They seemed to have accepted that answer.

Miguel, however, felt different. He turned to face you, his large hand encircling your wrist as he pulled your hand away from his face. He stepped forward with a slight sway, and that was when you realized the size difference between you two. He might as well have been a skyscraper, casting a shadow over your figure and shielding you from the orange glow of the screens. His head was tilted up but his eyes—damn, his eyes barreled down on you, locked on like a sniper scope. It was predatory. And you had never felt so small before in your life. 

“More than,” he answered lowly, releasing your hand from his grip and then he returned to his work.

You stood there, holding your wrist which was hot to the touch as your heart boomed against your ear drums. There was a dull ache in your head and shivers ran up your spine. It could only mean one thing. Your spidey senses were alerted. It happened a couple of times when Miguel would get this way. But he never hurt you. He would never. So why was every fiber of your being telling you to run from him?

You swallowed air, anything to get yourself to calm down. Hesitating, you glanced at Miguel who had buried himself in his work, seeming to have forgotten you were in the room. 

More than human. You had never thought of yourself more superior to the people you were saving. Maybe it was because you used to believe you were the only one with powers in your entire universe. It was easier to think of yourself as an unfortunate freak burdened with the duty of justice. But when you walk the halls of HQ, surrounded by like-minded spider-people in staggering numbers, you could understand Miguel’s point of view. All of you were strong, intellectually smart, and capable of doing extraordinary things that are beyond the capabilities of humans. And then you have Mayday who was born with these abilities. 

You knew the dangers that could come with having a superiority complex. Even then, Miguel was someone you couldn’t exactly leave alone no matter what he thought or how often he pushed you away. It wasn’t something you could explain. Did a moth ever question why it was attracted to the light, beautiful but deadly to its soul? All you knew was that it was better than being alone wandering aimlessly in the dark.

You left and returned with a medkit in your hands. A tap on Miguel’s shoulder earned quiet mumbles from him, claiming he was going insane for being interrupted before he looked at you, brown eyes flicking between the medkit and your face. 

You were as stubborn as he was and he knew you wouldn’t get off his back unless you got what you wanted. So, with a sigh, Miguel followed you off the platform to a large metal block you urged him to sit on.

You opened the medkit, pulling out the items you needed to treat his wound. Miguel stayed quiet. You could feel his eyes on your face, looking over every part of you. It was hard to ignore it considering how piercing his stare could get like he was trying to uncover the deepest parts of your soul.

“God, I feel like I’m always giving in to you,” he spitted out, hissing when you pressed a moist rag to his lip a little too hard.

“Good.”

“Just means you’re always in my way.”

“Still a good thing.”

He rolled his eyes and then they went right back on you. You were so focused on cleaning the blood off his lip that you didn’t notice how close you got to his face.

“You know, puedes sentarte .” You were startled to hear another language in your ear. More or less, you understood him, moving to sit next to him until you felt Miguel’s hand on your hip stopping you mid-motion to guide you on top of his lap. “Better.” 

You let out a less than graceful squeak, cheeks flushing, “O-Okay.” You were taken aback but then you remembered the agreement. As long as there was no kissing, no sex, then this was fine, right?

You continued to tend to Miguel’s cut, ignoring your steadily rising heart rate, but you were also admiring Miguel’s face. His high cheekbones, sharp jaw, and loose curly hair were perfectly combed back. He was definitely a handsome man and he had the most perfect body. You have never seen such wide shoulders in your life.

“You’re like a mother—sort of.”

“What the fuck,” you frowned. It wasn’t something you wanted to hear while sitting on this man’s lap especially when you were internally praising him.

“There was a time when I came home from school with my lip busted after beating up this bully and my mom did what you’re doing.” It was slight but Miguel’s expression softened. He was looking at you but you could tell the warmth in his eyes was from recalling an old memory. It was the first time he brought up his family, and you couldn’t help but smile at him.

“You were a troublesome kid, weren’t you?” You joked, placing a small bandage over his cut.

“My dad thought I was too, probably why he busted the other side of my lip after.”

You stiffened, smile immediately dropping. You weren’t foreign to domestic violence stories from your patients back in your universe. It was a sensitive topic, but knowing Miguel, he didn’t want to be coddled about it.

“Sorry,” your fingers brushed the other side of his lip. There was no cut there but you could imagine the pain he went through when his father struck him. “Your dad sounds like an asshole.”

“He was.”

“I… wanted to be one, a mother,” you admitted. “When I got married to Harry, I couldn’t wait to start a family. I wanted a little girl like Mayday, cute with the fattest cheeks. But I only had a 5% chance of conceiving, my doctor told me it was nearly impossible, and when Harry found out… Well, he divorced me. Something about my inability to continue the Osborn family line...”

You spoke without looking at him. You were still ashamed of the reason for your divorce. Harry made it feel like you were a failure of a woman. He was a misogynistic asshole that only viewed women as a means to continue his family line. You wondered what spell he cast on you to make you fall in love with him because looking back, he never seriously cared about you as a person.

It took you a year and a half to recover from the hurt. The white walls of your apartment would remind you of every argument you had with him, of when he berated you, of when he made you feel less than. You spiraled into a hole you never wanted to be in again.

Little Miss Perfect. Gosh, you were far from it.

You noticed Miguel’s hand was stroking your thigh. He looked… sad. He probably understood you the most when it came to wanting a family.

“It’s a canon event for some, you know. A spider-person must go through a breakup… But after, we always find love, right?” You shrugged, smiling softly after.

“He doesn’t know what he’s missing.” It was rare to hear Miguel sound soft, his voice lower than you ever heard it before. His large hand never stopped treading along your thigh to your hips and then back down again. Slow and agonizing, mapping out your shape. You wondered when you got so close to him, both hands resting on his strong shoulders, chests nearly together. You were slowly gravitating towards him—to the heat of his lips. Those red eyes were normally deadly but now it was with something else, flicking between your lips and eyes. Want, desire, and everything in between.

Surely, you didn’t know what to call this moment. It was better to not give it a name. It was better to just give in because it’s been so so long since you’ve been touched. Didn’t you deserve it? Didn’t he? The hand upon your thigh felt hot, you could feel it through your spidey suit. How glorious would it be if it was upon your bare skin?

Your head was too noisy. Your morals screaming. No kissing! No sex! He’s your patient! Any excuse you thought of appeared, making you resist.

It was too much. You lowered your head before Miguel could lean in any further. His lips were so close that his hot breath was brushing your cheek in waves. You couldn’t bear it so you slightly pushed against his chest to create some space. “I… have to go.”

You managed to say, moving to stand but you felt resistance from his hand on your hip as it held you in place. You and Miguel shared a look. For once, he wanted you to stay.

But you weren’t going to be held back by that look in his eyes.

“Good night, Miguel…” With a flick of your wrist, a string of webs shot out towards the ceiling and you quickly slipped yourself out of Miguel’s hold and out of his office. 

Miguel remained still for a moment, almost like he was frozen in time. But once it settled with him that you left, his hand that was on your hip closed so tight into a fist, it began to tremble. A heavy sigh passed through his lips while his other hand moved to pinch the bridge of his nose. He just needed a moment. 

Just a moment to realize not everything he holds in his arms disappears from his life for good.

Within time, he spoke.

“Lyla.”

Lyla generated next to him, floating by his head. “Yeah, Miguel?”

“Did you finish creating the profile?”

“One, you didn’t say please. Two, I didn’t want to interrupt,” grinned Lyla.

Miguel groaned until his back met with metal and draped an arm over his eyes. “Do I look like I’m in the mood for jokes?”

“When are you ever?” Lyla was expecting Miguel’s usual quips to her antics, but when she received nothing but silence from him, she frowned and gave in to his request. “Fiiiine, profile was done ages ago but I wasn’t joking when I said I didn’t want to interrupt.”

Next Chapter

[nonhumanresources]

Catnip For A Sphinx

A while back I met my friend Snepril and got to talking about character lore. Being the person I am I started making jokes about catnip and one thing led to another and a few days later I dropped a story on her head. Here's that story! This one should be a hit with the otherkin in the crowd. Also, her wife Skye is featured, who has since succumbed to kitty propaganda.

Summary: April buys novelty catnip wine for her cat to try out and decides to give it a taste herself. She quickly discovers that she might not be quite so human as she thought—and also that she loves catnip.

What to expect: lots of fluff (literal and metaphorical), TF in the form of a permanent glamour dropping for the first time to reveal a true form, lots of otherkin vibes, the silly actions of an extremely large cat in an extremely normal-sized apartment, wings, hugs, wives, and collars.

Length: 3.7k words.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I’m hooome!” 

April knocked open the apartment door, knob twisted with an elbow. She backed in, arms laden with groceries. It was almost too much to carry, but she only had to take one trip from the car, so it was worth it. 

“You get everything?” Skye, her partner, appeared out of the hallway. She gave April a one-armed hug and tucked her chocolate-colored hair behind her ear and out of her face. Without asking, she grabbed the grocery bags off of one of her arms. 

“Of course I did,” April said, nudging Skye’s foot with her own. “I can carry these, silly.” 

Skye stuck out her tongue in reply. “I know.” The two lugged the food into the kitchen, setting it on the counter to sort out and put away. A particularly heavy bag made a loud clink as Skye set it down, and she tugged it open, curious. She snickered as she pulled out a glass bottle with a familiar reddish-purple tint. 

“Oh my god, where did you find this?” Skye asked, delighted. “Pinot Meow? Incredible.” 

April laughed, shoving a carton of eggs into the fridge. “Walmart! That was the last one on the shelf. I need to see Zorua two glasses deep in that stuff.” 

Skye grinned, eyes glinting. “Perfect. Yes. Oh, this weekend is going to be fun.” 

Rest of the story below the cut. If you prefer a Google docs reading experience you can find that here but only if you reblog this first or I cast magic missile. As always, comments/questions/thoughts would be lovely! If you made it this far, may your days be filled with the wisdom of the fat boar resting in dappled sunlight.

“Is he still pouting in the bedroom?” 

“Mhm. Won’t budge.” The couple’s cat, Zorua, was a little fiend of a man. His fur was as gray as his morals, as Skye liked to say. In reality, he was just needy and particular; they’d forgotten to make his bed just right that morning and he’d been grumpy all day. April figured this was a good way to make amends, and also get kitty blackmail for later. Plus he was all out of treats, so a temporary alternative was needed. 

“Well, intoxicating substances solve all problems,” April declared, snapping the fridge door closed as she dropped the last few tomatoes into the crisper. Skye giggled and pulled her in for a proper hug, their foreheads pressed together.

“A kitty like you would know, wouldn’t you?” Skye teased. April squeezed her. 

“Maaaaybe!” 

“Well, my love, can you get started on dinner? I’ve gotta shower and finish up something for work.” April nodded, breaking the hug and letting her partner head to their makeshift office space. 

“Mind if I pop open the cat wine?” She called out. 

“Go for it, but don’t get him too drunk without me!” Skye replied, laughing. April snagged the bottle in one hand and a shallow plastic bowl in the other, walking over to the bedroom door. She pushed it open slowly, and sure enough, there was Zorua, sitting on the bedside table with his nose in the air. She clicked her tongue, and he opened one eye, glaring at her. 

“Aw, who’s a grumpy man?” April jibed. Zorua closed his eye again and turned away. “Still mad, hmm? Well, I’ve got a treat for you,” she cooed, tiptoeing over to sit on the bed. She made sure not to make it seem like she was actually approaching him; that would only make matters worse. Setting the bowl down on the floor, she twisted the cap on the bottle, popping the seal. 

Immediately, the smell snuck out into the air. April almost sneezed, surprised at its strength. She checked the bottle; mostly water and catnip, with beet for the color. Perhaps catnip smelled stronger than she remembered? Regardless, it was strangely appealing. She poured some out into the bowl, only about half an inch deep, and pushed it into Zorua’s view, hoping the smell would be enough to get him to investigate. 

April stood up once more, ready to go cook dinner, but she hesitated, staring at the bottle in one hand, curious about its contents. Perhaps a little too much so. What did it actually taste like? Catnip didn’t have any particular allure for a human that she knew of; it was literally named after cats, after all. If it was poisonous, the bottle would say so, so why not try it out? Glancing over at Zorua, she gingerly sniffed the cat wine again, then tipped it back, taking a small sip. 

The flavor hit her palette so explosively that she got knocked back on the bed, legs collapsing underneath her. April gasped and coughed, shocked at just how incredible it was. She considered taking another sip—and by the time she had, the bottle was already tipped back in her mouth, brain playing catch up with her instincts. Zorua watched from the bedside table with concern on his furry brow as April drained the rest of the cat wine, then darted away yowling as she flopped on her back, as fluffy as the blankets, the bottle shooting out from between her paws. 

The room swirled. April stared up at the ceiling, blinking rapidly. She licked her lips, long tongue flicking out and swirling across her muzzle. Her cheeks felt weeeeeird. Like there was something on them. She swiped her paws across them, squishing her face; it didn’t help the weird, twitchy feeling, though. She grunted, limbs wriggling as she flipped herself over, standing up on all fours on the bed. She smacked her maw, letting out a soft, happy mrrrp! The sphinx’s wings fluttered, sending the warm air swirling about between her feathers. 

That cat wine was delicious. Her whole body was buzzing with warmth, radiating outwards and into the mottled gray and white fur. She’d have to buy more of it….

...Was there… something to do…? 

Dinner! She still had to cook! April’s eyes shot open, and her wings flung out to the sides—one of which slammed into the wall and shoved her right off the bed, yowling and tumbling to the floor. 

Finding her feet, April fluffed up her fur, indignant. How dare. She gave the wall a solid, fifteen second glare to show her displeasure. Standing, the bed was a foot or so below her shoulder; it used to be way taller, but she didn’t pay that much mind, as her nose caught a scent that made her pupils dilate. 

Pinot Meow. There was more! Of course there was—she had poured a bowl out earlier. Wobbling on her paws, she slunk around the corner of the bed frame. 

Zorua was there already, slurping up the cat wine. “Heyyy!” April whined, scooting forwards and almost tipping herself over. She skidded to a stop, accidentally dunking a paw in the wine. Zorua made a sleepy fffss! at her, and she stuck her tongue out. She sniffed at her paw—then promptly stuffed it in her mouth, ears flattening happily.

April crouched, lapping from the bowl, purring. She was a human, of course, so it was a little undignified, but only Zorua saw it, and he was no snitch. No one else had to know. The cat stomped away from the bowl, steps unsteady. He made a fuss about it, but no amount of shaky swiping at April’s ears could get her nose out of the wine. Her tongue slowed; after drinking down half the bowl, she leaned forwards, muzzle dunking into her drink. The purring grew louder and more intense as she rested. Her eyes closed to slits, bubbles breaking the surface of the wine each time she breathed out of her mouth, her nostrils wide. 

April rested like that for a while, not quite napping, but certainly out of it. Even though she was quite large—human sized, she told herself smartly, although in reality it was closer to a toy horse—the amount of catnip-infused wine she’d drunk was doing a serious number on her. Taking in deep whiffs of it, her mind wandered, imagining soft blankets, beds strewn with treats, the liquid gold of sun rays….

….

“April?!”

The sphinx snorted, sucking up wine into her nose. She coughed and splattered it all over her face, accidentally tipping the bowl over with a paw as she spun to face the doorway, tail stuck straight up in the air. Her wings flapped madly, gusts billowing around Skye, who let out a sharp cry. 

“I was NOT sleeping!” April declared. To Skye, it sounded much more like “Mor-oooow!” Her eyes flicked back and forth between the stain on the carpet and April’s face. 

“Oh my god, you got into the cat wine, didn’t you?” she burst out. 

“NO,” April huffed. Or rather, “MROW.” 

Skye didn’t listen, gripping the door frame. “I can’t believe you ACTUALLY turned into a sphinx, and the first thing you do is get kitty wine everywhere!” 

“It’s—I’m clearly still human, see?” April countered, sitting back on her haunches and holding up her forepaws, swinging them a bit as she tried to keep her balance. Skye giggled despite the amazement on her face. The sphinx planted her paws on the ground and stood, indignant, ready to march over and give Skye a piece of her mind. Walking wasn’t easy, unfortunately, and she found herself face-planting on the carpet with a surprised brrr! Her wings flapped once, then settled on either side of her like a disheveled cloak. 

“Drunk cat,” Skye scoffed, looking down at April. “Let’s get you cleaned up. I guess you didn’t make dinner, then?” The sphinx looked away, huffing. 

Skye disappeared, returning a moment later with a towel. April stumbled back up to her paws, sitting firmly on her haunches to keep from falling over. Her partner sat on the edge of the bed and gestured for April to come over to her. “Here, I got something to get all that wine.”

April huffed, head held high, the picture of sphinxly, catlike pride. But human, of course. She wasn’t actually a sphinx. That would be silly, she thought, pawing at the whiskers still tickling her face.

“Is someone grumpy?” Skye accused, folding her arms and furrowing her brow in a caricature of frustration. “Is someone all mad because she made a mess?” 

“Ech-ch-ch-ch!” April flicked her tail, making SEVERAL dissatisfied noises at Skye, who echoed each one back at her. She didn’t even get the subvocal tones right. April heaved herself back to her feet and marched over, lecturing Skye on proper throat positions (really just a bunch of indignant meows), but the moment she felt Skye’s hands on her ears, her butt hit the floor once more, a purr bubbling up her throat.

Skye dabbed the towel on April’s chin. She glanced away, grunting, but Skye gently pushed her face back towards herself, rubbing the towel into her wet fur. 

“Mrrrp.” April’s eyes crossed. 

“Hmm? What’s that?” Skye cooed, digging her fingers into the sphinx’s cheek fluff. 

“Mrrooooowwwwww.” 

“Oh, someone has OPINIONS,” Skye sang, mopping up April’s throat. As she moved the towel up and down, her purr-growl went up and down in tone with each pass. 

“Ffffsss!” April sputtered like a dying engine, the statement sending her already impaired brain into a tizzy. 

“Opinions too big even for a big kitty like you! They’ve gotta get out!” 

“Mmmrooooow!”

“Go ahead, tell me all about it.” 

April kept up the back-and-forth with Skye for some time while the latter cleaned off her face and neck. It took a while, but finally the soaked towel was tossed aside. April’s nose followed it, but Skye cupped her palm on the side of her face, fingers scritching under her floof. 

“No more of that for you,” she chided. “You’ve had more than enough.” 

April chattered at her, but opted to not argue, since staying put meant more pets. She leaned into it, blinking slowly up at Skye, who smiled down back. 

“What are we gonna do with you, huh?” she mumbled. April wasn’t entirely sure what she meant—she was just a little bit drunk, after all—but stretched her neck out and gave Skye a reassuring lick on the cheek. She laughed, pushing her face back. “Aw, come on, you have kitty breath!” 

April didn’t stop, planting her paws on either side of Skye on the bed and licking her cheek again. Skye made a valiant effort, but couldn’t keep the cat away, giggling. After a moment, though, April shrunk back. Her muscles bunched, fur rippling. Before Skye knew what was going on, April leapt up onto the bed, pushing her into the middle of it and, fwump, dropping right on top of her. Muffled protests sounded from somewhere under the mound of fluff, but April could hardly hear over her own purr. 

Wings fluttering to rest splayed across the bed and drooping to the floor, relaxed and content, the sphinx nodded off, soon followed by her partner, slipping into the realm of fluffy dreams. 

___

 April awoke to sunbeams warming her back. Her head felt like it was full of cotton. Skye was already up; April could hear her puttering about in the kitchen. She stretched, ears flattening, wings shuddering before collapsing back down flat. Something about them felt… off, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on it. She yawned, arching her back, tail fluttering in the air. She stared down at one of her paws, admiring the rosettes that coated her fur. 

Paws. 

Those… didn’t have fingers. 

“I’m a SPHINX?!” April’s yowl brought Skye running in from the kitchen, decked in an apron. She stood on the bed, fur on end, wings raised and knocking against the ceiling as she heaved in and out. Skye raised her hands placatingly. 

“Hey! It’s okay, I’m here, you’re fine!” 

April stared at her, eyes wide with disbelief. “What happened?!” 

Skye scooted up to the edge of the bed, gesturing for April to close her wings. She did so slowly, regaining control over the massive appendages, settling down in a loaf on the bed. Skye rubbed one of her ears, eliciting a purr. 

“The cat wine triggered something,” she explained. “At least, I assume. You had it all over yourself.” 

“Seriously? I got all furry because of catnip? How is that stuff even legal if it does… THIS to people?” April groaned. 

“Well, you are a bit of a unique circumstance, to be fair.” 

She sighed. “I suppose.” The sigh blended into the purr as Skye moved her hand to the other ear. 

“The catnip was probably normal, and maybe all those conversations about hiding in a human form were your subconscious trying to signal you. Or maybe it was actually magic catnip. Does it really matter, though, when you were a sphinx before and you’re a sphinx now?” 

April leaned forward and bonked her forehead against Skye’s face. The words felt warm in her chest, and when she tried to speak, all that came out was a stutter and an affectionate mew. 

“I guess what was the right thing to say, then,” Skye chuckled, hugging her sphinx. “I made breakfast, since you were too busy catting it up last night to make dinner. C’mon, I’m starving.” 

Skye stood, and April followed, thumping down to the floor and plodding along behind Skye. Her nose twitched, and she realized that she knew what she’d find in the kitchen before even getting near the doorway. 

Sure enough, there was a bowl of cereal and fruit sitting on the table alongside a plate with a few slices of simple grilled chicken. Zorua was fixated on it from one of the counters, but upon seeing April, bounded down and out of the room. She didn’t mind; more for her. She could already feel her mouth salivating. Skye pulled out a chair and sat down; April nudged the one on her side out of the way, more than large enough to sit on her haunches and still reach her plate. She sat down daintily, and promptly attacked her chicken like an animal. Skye just laughed and ate her breakfast in silence. 

What was going to happen next? April could already tell that this meal wouldn’t be satisfactory; she was a big cat, and big cats needed to eat a lot. That was going to be expensive. Not to mention her job—she worked from home, but IT was going to be extremely difficult with a keyboard built for hands. A small shiver went down her spine; she really did have paws. She’d checked four times already. As exciting as that was, that still meant half the income if she couldn’t figure out work, and could get away without showing her face anywhere. 

There was so much to consider. Was a wardrobe necessary? How could she get outside? This apartment wasn’t made for a cat that was almost as tall as the average human; she barely fit as is. Oh, god, what about bathrooms? She’d need a litter box half the size of the living room! She DEFINITELY wouldn’t fit in the bathtub, even using the showerhead—was she going to have to lick herself clean? Did sphinxes have to do that sort of thing at all? Was she actually mythical, or just unconventional? There… was a sort of blue glow at the edges of her vision, if she didn’t focus on anything in particular, and looked at juuuust the right angle….

…

She blinked, eyes focusing on her plate and the last abandoned strip of chicken. April looked up and saw Skye looking at her, concerned. 

“What now?” she whispered. 

Skye sat in thought for a moment, then set down her spoon. “Honestly? Not a clue. But hey, aren’t we lucky that you gained a mighty sphinxly form on a weekend?” 

April smiled. It was lucky. Far more time to sort things out. She bent down, predator’s teeth easily snatching up the last bite of chicken.

“I’m just glad you can talk now. You were so wacked out on catnip last night that you couldn’t do anything but meow!” 

April’s eyes bulged, nearly choking on the piece of chicken. She barely managed to keep her wings in check, lifting a paw to her chest instead as she swallowed. “I what?!” 

Skye nearly fell out of her chair laughing.

___

“I’m hooome!” 

April’s ears perked up at the sound of the front door. She climbed to her paws, circling around furniture lithely, feathers brushing up against chairs and walls. The apartment was small, but she could deal with it. 

Skye stood in the entryway, a bag dangling off one arm as she took her shoes off. She smiled at April, reaching out and running a hand through her hair. “How was your day?” 

“Lazy,” April remarked, purring and rubbing up against Skye’s legs, almost pushing her off balance. “Big cats need lots of sleep, after all.” Skye laughed. 

“Big cats also usually don’t work in IT, Miss Sfeenks.” 

April chuckled back, tail coiling and uncoiling around one of Skye’s ankles. She stuck her snout into the handles of the plastic bag. “I can carry that for you.” 

“If you insist!” Skye responded, slipping her arm out. The light bag settled on the bridge of April’s nose. “Just don’t look inside, you’ll ruin the surprise.” 

“I thought you were just buying lint rollers.” 

“Well, that was the plan. You’ll see soon enough!” 

April shrugged, plodding back through the living room to go and drop the bag on the bed. It couldn’t have more than one or two things in it, based on the weight. She slowed to a stop, one paw still held in the air, as the bag bumped against her whiskers. The sphinx stayed frozen like that for a few seconds, before her nose twitched and she let out a huge sneeze, covering it with a wing. 

The bag didn’t fall, but one handle did slip off her nose. She pawed at it, bapping herself in the face on accident, determined to get it back on while simultaneously not looking down.

After much trial and error, April managed to slip the loop back over her nose and carted the bag to the bed, where she deposited it without incident. Skye followed shortly thereafter; April settled down on the floor in a loaf, legs tucked comfortably underneath herself and eyes half closed. Skye sat on the edge of the bed, pulling out the lint roller she’d gone to buy, attacking the sheets with it. April had found that even with the colder weather, she was shedding. It was going to be awful in the summer. At least she’d get brushed, though. That was a compromise she—

“MROW!”

Hands. Neck. Plus… oh, no.

April’s brain short circuited as she felt a ring of soft leather encircle her throat. Skye had taken advantage of her reverie to lean down and tug something around her neck. Logically, the answer was obvious, but April’s thoughts kept falling apart before she reached the conclusion. Skye’s warmth rested on her fur, hot breath blowing across her hair and ears. She could feel the smile in that breath. As soon Skye tugged the leather nice and snug, hands falling away, April spun around to face her. 

“EXCUSE MEEEOW!” she snarled, tripping over her own feet in her rush, all the poise of a cat gone in a moment. She stumbled and plopped her head right into Skye’s lap, who jumped.

“Woah! Hey there~,” she sang, hands immediately wrapping up and around behind April’s head, laced together there, playing with the… the….

“How do you like your new collar, little miss opinions?” 

April lost it then and there, sputtering in a mixture of shock and absolute giddiness, human words escaping her tongue. She smushed her face, hot under the fur, into Skye’s belly, hiding. Her whole body shook with the strength of her purr, even as the muffled yowls continued. 

“Aw, she loves it! Such a polite sphinx, wearing such a dignified little collar!” Skye bent over and wrapped her arms around April’s middle. She was still sputtering and chattering and whining into Skye’s shirt. All thought slammed to a halt, her entire being focusing on that soft ring around her neck, so… so right.

Skye mumbled into the fur and feathers on her back. “I figured you’d like it. A beautiful sphinx like you deserves proper accessories, after all. Plus, I just couldn’t help it.” She squeezed April tightly. “Now, who’s my good girl?” 

“Nyah! E-er, nnnnyot faaaair!” April wailed, finding her words once again. 

“Of course it’s fair, sphinxbutt. You’re just simply a good girl, nothing to it!” 

“Mrraah!”

“Meow meow meow, says the kittypet!” 

April’s speech flew from her once more. She kept meowing, but Skye’s insistent praise flitted in through her sharp ears, settling down in her brain. They stayed like that for a while, comfortably embraced, sphinx and wife, and only one coherent thought managed to breach the surface of April’s wildly roiling mind. 

No one would ever convince her to take her new collar off. 

[warriorcats-stimboards]

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🐾 Get to know the warrior! 🐾

Hello~ Warm welcome to my warrior's blog. Get yourself comfortable around here! Currently this is my "only" blog that i'm the most active in!

You can call me ... : Hattie or Stomp! (names may be updated)

You can refer to me as ... : He/her, they/them, i'm figuring out my pronouns!

My hobbies are ... : Drawing, reading, quadrobics, baking, listening to music, learning about plants, roleplaying, making stimboards and sleeping!

Do not interact if ... : I do not have a specified dni set, but if i feel the need to block you i will! All problematic users will be blocked. I am A MINOR! So beware! This is a sfw-only space!

My favorite stims are ... : fursuit, paw, bird, nature & shiny stims!

More info ... : warrior cats gen, warrior cats gen 2

🐾 What can you ask for? 🐾

Note: I do have the right to reject your request if i feel the need to!

Note 2: When can you ask? If my ask button says "Let's hunt together!" that means my REQUESTS ARE OPEN! Asks that are too offtopic/i won't do in my askbox is usually deleted.

Stimboards Name stimboards Small little talks w/ me about warriors! (no controversy asks) (MAY BE UPDATED!)

🐾 What do you need to put in your ask if you wanna request something? 🐾

You will need to specify what you want in your ask! Don't be afraid if you're very precise! If you want something like a warriors' stimboard, please specify stuff like who's design you want me to use! Tell me what to exclude! Tell me what you want in your stimboard! I do not mind at all, i want my ask(ers?) to be happy with their result! :D Overall, to simplify, tell me stuff like "i don't want slime, hands, insects, ect. in the stimboard"! Or "i would like this theme and these things included!". It will be easier for both me & you to know what to do in that case.

🐾 Mods & anons 🐾

There are currently no mods! This is a one-person blog. I will start tagging my posts if this blog start getting managed by multiple people.

🐾 anon tag list 🐾

These are the taken tags! You may not use them unless you are the person who has claimed that specific tag.

Kindly ask me in the askbox to claim a tag!

Will be updated once someone has claimed a tag!

🐾 Tags used in this blog 🐾

This is a list of tags i will use for my posts!

#hattie reblogs 🦌 - reblogged posts that are not mine will be labeled with this tag! #hatties stimboards 🌿 - stimboard posts that are mine will be labeled with this tag! #hatties warrior rambles ⭐ - posts that are basically me talking about something/answering an ask that's about warriors will be labeled with this tag! #hatties name stimboards 🐈 - stimboard posts that are for people that have asked for a name stimboard will be labeled with this tag! #hatties asks 💗 - stuff that aren't mine but i've requested from other people will be labeled with this tag! #hatties fav tag 🐺 - stuff that may or not be mine but posts i overall like will be labeled with this tag!

#hatties offtopic post 🌦️ - offtopic posts of mine will be labeled with this tag!

#hatties gifs 🎨 - videos i've gif:fed will be labeled with this tag!

#hatties stamps 🌈 - f2u stamps i’ve made! both static and gifs versions, these posts will be labeled with this tag! (MORE TAGS MAY BE ADDED/UPDATED)

Warrior cats stimboard list | i might move to carrd with the lists because google docs are really messing around with me

That's it for now! I might update this from time to time. For now, enjoy my blog! - Also, please let me know if you want a trigger/tw/cw list!

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[philtstone]

Anne/Gilbert, 13

#13 - You say my name for the first time and I fall in love in an empty bar

two days ago i accidentally stumbled upon an ancient half-written opening scene to an anne of green gables psych au in the depths of my wip folder, and it struck me that whatever this concept was, the world deserved to see it. so i decided to pummel it into a coherent prompt fill and here we are. the prompt is ... interpretive, but i think it works. if it isn't clear, anne is shawn, diana is gus, and gilbert is juliette. i don't actually know if there's a lassiter in this universe; suggestions are, of course, welcome

for @foolgobi65, because as one might expect, the title of the google doc read, "for maya"

Anne’s day ends with her spitting out a large gulp of no-brand hallucinogenic instant coffee onto the potted azalea in their lobby. 

Well. That is not wholly accurate. One could argue that Anne’s day ends with the gasping splutter that follows, and the wide-eyed stare she bestows upon her sheepish colleague slash long-time childhood friend slash former sworn enemy, slash --

Well. That, too, leaves some points unaddressed. 

The most accurate account capitulates that Anne’s day -- an all-around uneventful, if emotionally complicated affair -- ends with the soft, butterfly-wing laugh shared by two friends who have acknowledged the known truth of a secret badly kept and ultimately harmless in practice.

But that’s where Anne’s day ends; it begins quite monotonously, with a tip-off about Mrs. Blewitt’s peevish cat having gone missing (it had run away and good riddance, Anne insists, a conclusion she comes to without any collection of evidence nor erstwhile psychic episode), and the spilled bowl of coco puffs that heralds the complicated emotions of the day’s middle.

And so, without further ado, the middle:

Gilbert is starfished on the floor, t-shirt clad back against cheap laminate. 

Gilbert has been starfished on the floor (t-shirt clad back against cheap laminate) all afternoon. Anne does not know if this is his natural mourning position or something unique to this particular lamentation. Either option is pitiable on principle, and saddening in the more subjective sense; he is a dear friend, and this a sticky situation. 

But the fact of the matter is that his limbs are simply too long to be starfishing in the Lady C’s Psychic Detective Agency lobby. Specifically, they don’t actually have a lobby, as the entire space is just one dinky office and a houseplant.

“Oh, Gilbert,” says Diana, placatingly, as she’s said at least twelve times in varying tones of commiseration in the last hour.

“I’m a fool,” Gilbert tells the ceiling. Anne can acquiesce that the ceiling is a very good listener; she and that ceiling have had many a despondent heart-to-heart in the past year alone. “A prized idiot, Anne.” 

Anne scowls. 

She does so enjoy being right -- it has to be said -- but that doesn’t mean she would pull an I told you so after someone’s job has been lost. Jobs are livelihoods. Livelihoods mean being able to do things like actually afford groceries, or own a car that does not make horrible rattling noises every time one turns on the left-hand blinker. 

She got the “I told you so” off her chest hours ago. 

“You’re not an idiot,” says Anne, more snappishly than she intends it. “You’re a good person, Gilbert Blythe. That is not an idiot.”

“I am,” insists Gilbert. “This was a terrible idea. Zero out of ten, would not do again. Why didn’t I go into medicine? Remember Ms. Stacey from the seventh grade? She said I should go into medicine.”

At this, Diana throws Anne an aggrieved look from under the well-groomed fringe of her glossy dark hair. 

Diana -- when she isn’t saying “Oh, Gilbert” in commiserating tones -- is making coffee in the corner in what must be a noble attempt at offering a comforting hot drink during a time of trouble. Only, she’s using the last of their instant coffee mix, which Anne employs more in DIY home facial remedies (a desperate bid to reduce her stubbornly-enduring freckles) than she does in coffee. It generally tastes like putrified cardboard and has odd kernels of glittery orange stuff in it that Anne once insisted almost did give her an out of body hallucinogenic psychic experience.

Marilla had said “Fiddlesticks” and attributed that to sleep deprivation and a too-large cup of artificially caffeinated joe, but that is beside the point.

The point is: Anne’s not sure if the coffee is their best course of action, comfort-wise, and of course reminiscing about seventh grade is not going to get them anywhere good. Seventh grade involved terrible hair dye jobs, the distasteful entity that was Josie Pye, and that one time (read: the entirety of seventh grade) where Gilbert tugged Anne’s braid in a misguided attempt to get her attention and Anne vowed to hate him forever. 

Obviously, Anne did not keep good on that vow, else Gilbert would not be starfishing on the floor of her slightly-fraudulent psychic detective agency office, in the throes of misery. 

Anne sighs. She tries to telepathically communicate to Diana that it is indeed a go on the well-meaning offering of mediocre bean juice and taps her foot. 

“Here, Gilbert,” says Diana, kneeling down and offering the chipped mug to the general vicinity of Gilbert’s prone chin. Gilbert looks at her desolately, and then down his nose -- it’s a very fine nose, Anne thinks unhelpfully -- at the steaming cup. He goes a little cross-eyed.

“Oh,” says Gilbert. “Thanks, Diana.”

But he doesn’t make any move to get up. Anne taps her foot more insistently and crosses her plaid-clad arms, frowning.

“Drink the coffee,” says Anne, in a tone she hopes brooks no argument. Diana told her only yesterday that she’d quite excelled in recent weeks at achieving it. The wisdom of its application had been another matter entirely, tangled in an unfortunate case involving a missing Jersey cow and a classical opera singer’s heirloom willow-pattern serving platter -- but that was neither here nor there, and Diana’s faithful encouragement was greatly appreciated.

A Jersey cow in Toronto, Anne thinks now, huffing. Of all the things --

Gilbert has not taken his coffee. 

“Gilbert,” says Anne.

Perhaps the stuff’ll be so strong that Gilbert will be knocked right out cold, thus reprieving him of his woes for a short while. Or maybe it’ll give him that hallucinogenic experience Anne had, and, subsequently, he will realize that Anne herself is not the real thing, and merely an expert fake, and their carefully-built, much-cherished friendship will be over forever.

Fiddlesticks, says Marilla’s sensible voice in Anne’s head. 

Focus, Anne, thinks Anne.

“Gilbert,” Anne says again, in less theatrical tones, “you did absolutely nothing wrong. You are free of the corrupt institution of manufactured public justice now, and good riddance to that.”

This is the second time today Anne has said “and good riddance to that”. Gilbert says nothing, and continues frowning at the ceiling. 

“You pursued justice,” continues Anne -- and is it really her fault the theatrics are creeping back in? -- “and for that were dishonourably suspended. You followed protocol and reported disingenuous practices that were hurting an innocent family. That’s more than enough to ensure your relative moral standing in an ethically complex situation. So, really, who is the dishonourable party here? The --”

“The Toronto police department,” offers Diana helpfully.

“The Toronto police department!” finishes Anne. 

“Yes,” says Diana.

“Yes,” repeats Anne, then flounders, realizing her point has already been made. “And – well – good riddance to them!”

There is a beat; Gilbert turns his face, rather muppet-like, across the floor, to look at her with marginally-less miserable eyes; the top of his curly dark head flops against the floor. They stare at each other awkwardly for a long moment.

“Well?” Anne says, finally. “Drink that poisonous coffee and up and at ‘em.”

Finally, Gilbert sighs, and pushes himself up onto his elbows. This is good. One brown-fingered hand grasps the death liquid in a sort of fumbled grapple for balance and prevented spillage. He says,

“Thank you, Diana -- Anne. I -- I know.”

“Well, good,” says Anne.

“I’m just -- I’d be perfectly happy figuring out a new life, on principle, but this case -- I can’t just leave it.”

“Well that’s a given. Obviously, you’ll figure it out. Bring those clowns to justice.” 

This is Anne speaking.

“Right,” says Gilbert. There is a furrow remaining between his frustratingly nice brows. “But Anne -- I don’t have any resources anymore. I got fired, remember? I had to turn in my badge and gun and even my car.”

“We have a car,” Diana says helpfully. Anne nods, not quite realizing the end goal her bosom friend and psychic detective partner is building up to here; she is more caught on the fact that Gil’s department issued vehicle was a sleek Volvo, and Diana’s car is her mother’s ancient fire engine red Toyota and outside of ongoing engine troubles also smells eternally of the family kimchi recipe. “We have food in our fridge, too –” (that kimchi) “and we have pens, and pencils, and lots of paper, and a printer – Anne’s got a taser, even –”

“Diana,” Anne hisses, instinct overriding any higher brain function that would catch on to Diana’s burgeoning Point.

“You know that’s illegal, right?” says Gil, unhelpfully,

“What I’m trying to say,” says Diana, “is sure, you have resources, Gilbert Blythe. You’ve got us, haven’t you? Actually, well, I’ve had a really great idea. You could just work here!”

It is here that the heroines of this daytime drama begin their journey towards the spluttering end-of-day outlined at the beginning, because at this cheerful declaration Anne turns, and blinks rapidly at her colleague. Gilbert, in turn, blinks at Anne.

“You’ll be an official part of Lady C’s Psychic Detective Agency!” continues Diana, all dimpled smiles, and even claps her hands together – so enthusiastically that the puffy cold shoulder sleeves of her powder blue top bounce. “I think that solves all of our problems, don’t you, Anne?” 

The late afternoon sun shining through the half-covered office window is making Diana’s Wednesday work-day highlight pop quite extraordinarily; perhaps this is what distracts Anne enough that she does not take her by the well-manicured hand and say, with awkward comedic timing, a word? like people do in humorous television shows. Rather, realizing that there really is nothing else she can say: 

“Oh, erm, sure.” 

Only then, somewhat immediately, does the reality of the statement barrel into her like that damnable Jersey cow. 

“Diana,” Anne hisses, a second time.

“Oh, don’t be a sourpuss, Anne,” Diana says breezily. “I think Gil’ll get on just fine here. And anyway, Marilla gave us, like, four days’ worth of leftovers to keep in the fridge. We need a man to help us eat through it.”

Amidst all of this, Gilbert’s expression has been slowly evolving from an understandable bewilderment to a perhaps more expected bemusement. By the time Anne has gathered enough of her wits to a), ignore him, and b), say, “No one says sourpuss anymore, Diana,” (because she is feeling acutely uncharitable in that exact moment), Gilbert has properly pulled himself up into a sitting position, rested his elbows loosely upon his knees, and said,

“That sounds fine to me.”

Anne whirls around to face him. She has lost words. How could Diana do this to her? This great betrayal of her deepest trust? Absolutely, Gilbert cannot work with them. Gilbert, who she has finally made peace with. Gilbert, who is one of her most valued friends. Gilbert, who trusts Anne, but does not at all know her process. Gilbert does not know the minutiae of her talents. Gilbert does not know that she is, in fact, lying through her teeth to the law, for money and also the greater good of the Greater Toronto Area. Well, perhaps it’s more like bending some truths – but Gilbert is an innocent in this equation, is the point! Of course, he is innocent in a manner that makes him utterly guilty and culpable in every respect, as Anne never hesitates to blame him for her many personal ills – but the fact of the matter is that she, Anne, will not be able to keep her fraudulent clairvoyant claims safe if Gilbert is living in her detective office.

“It’s not like I need a place to crash or anything,” Gilbert says, as though reading Anne’s very unhelpful and resoundingly mute train of thought. “But what I’d give to beat the bastards who did this at their own game.”

… Oh. The case. Which they have still not solved.

Anne, with herculean effort, unsticks her voice.

“No,” she says. “Absolutely not. This is a terrible idea, Gilbert Blythe. I won’t have it.” 

Gilbert eyes her very carefully, like she is a puzzle he cannot quite crack. Diana, on the other hand – who has been collecting her coffeemaking supplies with efficiency – whirls around on her way to the kitchenette and offers Anne a terribly pointed, knowing look. 

“I think it’ll be good for all of us, actually.”

“No,” Anne says. Really, she almost clasps her hands together in prayer. “No, no no no no, Di-ana –”

But Diana is gone, and Anne finds herself suddenly mute again: Gilbert has abandoned his laminate lamentations and stood to his full height.

He’s right in front of her and everything, too. She is struck by an awful earth-shattering vision of the same unfairly broad, football player’s chest now directly in her eyeline walking away from her, broken and defeated by the soul-destroying betrayal that will follow his inevitable realization that Anne is a lying liar who lied. 

“C’mon, Anne,” Gil says, as he steps forward to follow Diana out. His whole person is too close, his voice too chummy, just by her ear but oh so casual, and then, in the most infuriatingly possible way he could say it – “what’s the worst that could happen?”

And he leaves her standing in the empty Lady C’s lobby, wishing that she really did have psychic abilities after all. 

Maybe then, she could have seen this total disaster of a development coming.

[sporksaber]

I went back through some old docs and revamped the garycato story outline, because apparently having school stuff to avoid is vital to my writing process.

Here is the meet cute that I wrote two years ago and am not going to change.

☆☆☆☆☆

Avocato sighed as he slumped forward over his drink. Usually he saw his son first thing after a job, but he was on overnight fieldtrip. So instead of lying awake in an empty house he found himself a drink at the nearest bar. He planned to peacefully drink the night away, until a body slammed into the seat next to him.

“This seat taken?” a blonde human tilted his head at him and stretched his arms across the counter. His flushed face betraying his lack of sobriety.

“You’re already sitting,” he raised an eyebrow as the man grinned at him. He turned away to wave down the bartender and Avocato kissed his quiet night goodbye.

The drink the man got was some fruity thing colored an unnatural blue that almost matched the skintight shirt he had beneath his jacket. The way he immediately slurped half of it down almost restored Avocato's hope for solitude, but he turned to face him just as quickly.

“So, what's your deal? You here alone or were you just feeling the cool and mysterious vibe today,” he wiggled the fingers of his unoccupied hand as he spoke.

“I was feeling more of a having a drink without interruption vibe.”

The man skipped right over the dismissal. “Ah, so you’re alone. It’s okay, we can ride this lonely night together!” he stuck his hand out. “Name's Gary, Gary Goodspeed.” Avocato didn’t take his hand. He pouted. “Do handsome cat men not have names?”

“I'm ventrexian, not a cat,” he snapped. He’d heard every pun under the sun within his first month on earth.

“Handsome ven-tracks-Ian then,” his smile remained plastered firmly in place.

“…Avocato,” he gave up. The resulting grin was brighter than the flashing lights on the opposite side of the bar. It was kind of cute, if he was being honest.

“Avacato? That’s ado-" he caught a warning look, “ah- awesome! That's an awesome name.” The way Gary’s cheeks puffed out as he awkwardly looked away while stumbling through his correction almost made him snort. He turned back to his drink.

Avocato was allowed a few minutes of the only sound he had to put up with being the ambient noise of the other bar patrons and pulsing music. The man next to him ordered another fruity drink, pink this time, and quietly slurped away until he took pity on him. “So what's your deal? You here alone or did you decide that you were into cool and mysterious vibes today?” Gary's grin as he began to respond with flailing arms made Avocato's lips quirk up just a bit.

“I just wanted to get out for the night, y’know? It was kind of a last minute decision. My daughter is out for the night so I decided I might as well make the most of it. My son might be trashing the house right now though, he was pretty adamant about me leaving,” he laughed and ran a hand through his hair. Avocato leaned his elbow against the table to rest his head against his hand.

“You have teenagers?”

“Yeah, they’re the best,” he responds quickly but then trails off a bit. “I’ve actually only been taking care of them for two years. It’s a long story,” the sincere look in his eyes was easily recognizable as he spoke his next words. “but I love them a lot. I’d do anything for them.”

Avocato did smile this time. “My boy's turning 15 this year.” Gary grinned.

“That’s how old my daughter is! Are you and your boy from off world?”

“We’ve been here about 6 months,” He frowned as he spoke, the circumstances of their arrival not being something he liked to think about despite how much time he spent dwelling on it.

Gary nodded, thinking on his next words as he took in his new bro's expression. “My son was 15 when I brought them here. I wasn’t able to help them adjust much, spent the last few years before in space and never really had the kind of life I wanted for them here. But he’s done pretty well. Kids will be kids no matter where they are, as long as they have room to be.”

“Yeah…

The conversation shifted between more drinks and a song that Avocato actually found tolerable. The night drifted past until the last round was called and Gary, now a giggling mess, dragged them out to his car.

“You can’t possibly plan to drive like this.”

“Don’t worry!” he shoved him into the backseat before clambering in after him. “HUE!”

“You know Gary, I am a highly advanced AI made for interstellar battleships,” a robotic voice drawled as the dashboard lit up. “Piloting such an inferior vehicle is not a productive use of my time.”

Gary blew a raspberry. “You wouldn’t be doing anything else any way Hue. Besides look,” he twisted his body so he could pull Avocato closer. “I made a friend,” he drew out the word friend in a breathy way that gave it several extra syllables.

“Yes, I can see that Gary. Good job, you can have a cookie when you get home.”

“Yesh,” he slurred as he slumped his body against Avocato, who smiled at the weird interaction.

“Were is your destination, Gary?”

“Hmm, Brocato,” he grabbed him dramatically. “Are you ready to go on an adventure?”

He smirked. “You got it, baby.”

Avocato woke up to a comfortable but unfamiliar warmth. He curled himself tighter around it and allowed a low rumble to spread through his throat. His half asleep brain thought to stay like this forever. Until he heard a soft gasp from just below his face.

“Bro, are you purring?”

Avocato bolted up straight to stare at the grinning man bellow him. The grinning, naked man below him.

“Fuck,” he ran his hands across his face with a groan as the last night’s events caught up to him.

“Uh, you okay brocato?”

He stared at the blonde before sighing and falling backwards into his pillows. “I was literally inside you less then 8 hours ago, don’t call me bro.”

Gary leaned up on his elbow to look at the clock on the bedside table. “Mm, like 8 hours and 20 minutes ago, actually,” his smile turned smug as Avocato glared at him. He pushed him off the bed.

“What the frick, bro?”

“You were warned,” he closed his eyes and waited with a smirk for the man to start dramatically yelling about betrayal. When it didn’t come though he turned over to find Gary having slid his underwear back on and fishing under the bed for where his pants had fallen. He watched as he shimmied into them with a frown. “That wasn’t meant to kick you out you know.”

Gary turned to him, “Yeah, I know. But Fox should be awake by now and I didn’t exactly tell him I wasn’t coming home last night.” He fished his phone from his pocket, scrolling through his notifications before sliding it to Avocato. “But if you want a round two some other time you could give me your number?” He bit his lip, he wouldn’t be surprised at a rejection.

But Avocato took the phone from him right away. Gary grinned and set himself to search for his shirt. He was pretty sure he had it on when he entered the room. Before he could find it Avocato handed back his phone, and then found his shirt stuck behind the pillows shortly after.

Within an hour he got a text from an unknown number, “the walk of shame is a whole other level of embarrassing when your son spins around in your office chair to ask you where you’ve been.”

☆☆☆☆☆

I think im going to go the series route with it. The first part is probably going to be around 30k and I don't feel like splitting it into chapters. And while I was originally thinking 2 big chunks, the other pieces I want don't really flow together well. So a 30k one, then a 10k one, and I'm not sure how long the two after will be (I haven't outlined that far).

I will post it on ao3 eventually probably. Or not. Idk.

I'm keeping it fun and tropey outside of a few angsty story beats. There will be a breakup and then a parent trap but no relationship issues beyond that.

[cavalcleave]

Laughter Is Contagious

Warnings: N/A. | Characters: Monsterwyn, Doc (guest character belonging to @/bunquest) | Word-count: 4,893 | AN: they're having fun + playing. fun fact this was inspired by a dream i had!

---

"Y'know, Wyn, I don't ever hear you laugh that often… I mean you do do it but… I dunno it's pretty uncommon to hear." Doc says. 

Monsterwyn hums in confusion, now leaning up from laying on her. "Yeah? What's the point of saying that? I mean I haven't really had fun for a while until I came here." They reply. "Everything's boring back home, but here? It's a whole new experience everywhere I go! And there's delicious new ways I can kill."

"What's boring about your home?" Doc asks, she can't help it, she's curious about their home universe, since they don't seem keen on taking her there very much. "Other than the ruined town, I imagine that place was lovely before… y'know."

"It's boring because I've seen it all already! It doesn't take long to explore everywhere if you're immortal!" Monsterwyn exclaims, frustrated. "Especially since I can go places mortals can't. You just gotta set aside I dunno maybe a few hundred years depending on how you go about it. Probably a bit more than that… I was doing some fun looting on the way." 

Monsterwyn pauses for a moment, as if considering whether or not to say this. "Plus… there's nothing for me back there… I've done it all so… all that's left is the bitter memories I keep picking over like a vulture! Everytime I go into my old room, I just… get reminded of him… I carry around his skull for crying out loud just so that maybe I can be seen as more like a monster. But no one even understands! So I'm doing it all for nothing!"

The look on Doc's face softens, she carefully puts her hand on their cheek, "It's okay, it's not all for nothing, you cared about him didn't you? You carried that skull to the ends of your world, just because you loved him so much."

"I guess so…. I don't really feel love though, I think… I mean I like some people and things but… I don't know…" Monsterwyn says.

"Don't be silly, of course you do. Lighten up a bit Wyn! You must've cared a lot to do it either way. Love's very… broad, I can't imagine that you wouldn't feel something close at least. I mean you can love your friends, your job, practically anything." Doc says, patting them on the head, hoping to be encouraging.

Monsterwyn purrs, "Guess that makes sense… people always say it to mean a bunch of stuff…." 

"... Why don't we play a little to lighten up? You could probably use it, you usually have plenty of energy." Doc suggests.

Monsterwyn looks at her curiously, tail wagging. "Play? Play what?" They ask, padding closer, as if she'll tell them faster if they're right next to her. "Hide and seek? But your home is so small…."

"Welll…. Let me think…" Doc says, trailing off thoughtfully.

"They are right, my place is pretty small and Maldwyn's really good at hide and seek in enclosed spaces… a little tag would probably rile them up too much… they'd be running around like crazy… if only I had that laser pointer, it'd make things a bit less weird than straight up getting a cat toy without asking them." Doc thinks, Weighing her options until she sees how close they are to her. "Hmm… would they maim me like a cat if I pet their belly? I think it can be a playful thing with them… Though while I'm at it, might as well take a shot and see… maybe I could ease them into it so they don't bite. Distracting them? It's possible, but… I don't know what would even work. Would acting more like them and like… surprise attacking them be enough? Or are they like, ticklish or something? I don't know… you'd think they'd have gone on a weird tangent if it was notable though… They wouldn't bite me that hard so… I guess it'd be harmless… I could try both." 

"How about a surprise game?" Doc finally answers. "Starting… now."

"What? But how am I supposed to figure out how to play if I don't know what game we're playing?" Monsterwyn exclaims, getting right up in her face.

"Oh, don't worry I think it'd be easy to figure out, Wyn. You're a fast learner." Doc reassures them.

Monsterwyn's tail impatiently lashes behind them, "Then what is it????" They ask, whining.

In a quick motion, Doc quickly takes advantage of how close they are to her and strikes, quickly managing to pin them flat on their back. "Surprise attack!" Doc laughs, "Maybe I picked up a thing or two from you."

Monsterwyn lets out a surprised mewl as they land. "Hey! That's not fair! You used my tricks against me! My pouncing!" They exclaim, squirming underneath her hold.

"Sounds like something a sore loser would say if they lost surprise attack." Doc says, chuckling as she takes a hand off of them to lightly poke their nose.

"I'm not a sore loser! You just didn't tell me we were playing it!" Monsterwyn says and then, in another quick moment. The tables are suddenly turned, and now Doc is pinned down. "See, see I'm good at it."

"Woah, hey! You're cheating!" Doc exclaims, laughing. "Honestly I forget how strong you are sometimes…"

"So what you do is ok, but I'm cheating. I see how it is." Monsterwyn says, looking away from her, and holding their tail up.

Doc bursts into laughter, "No, no it's fine, it's fine Wyn! You're so silly. It's just that there's a rule for when you lose in the game I made up for us."

"Oh… it's not an established game? I thought it was because of how you acted…." Monsterwyn says awkwardly, their voice softening into an apologetic tone. "I guess I just ruined things for you because I'm stupid again… sorry"

Doc's expression turns to concern, "No, no, no it's okay! We're playing to lighten up, Wyn. I was trying to be silly, not serious!"

"... Oh… it's not all serious even when you're supposed to be relaxing? This place is always so weird…. How do people get anything done without any punishments anywhere…." Monsterwyn asks. "Like I know from Bobby the positive reinforcement thing but I still don't really get it…" 

"Of course not, silly, you're just supposed to relax!" Doc says. "And it's pretty simple, you encourage someone to do better with like, a treat or something? I don't know exactly how it goes but think of it like that."

"So…" Monsterwyn starts trailing off as they start to settle down and lay on top of her. "Do you do that with me?" 

"Oh god no, if I was I'd be bad at it. I give you treats all the time and I wouldn't be able to resist your cute face when you beg for more." Doc says, letting out a chuckle as she notices they've gotten back to laying on her. "Plus it's not really something I should do, I mean I'm not your parent or anything, and it might be a bit… awkward. I mean, I'm your coworker, I'm not really… equipped to do that."

".... You and Annie could be like my parents. You two sorta act like it in a weird way. Annie's kinda scary, and you give me treats sometimes. I think I'm too old to be in a family like that though, so it probably wouldn't work out like that. It's just hard to imagine you filling the same role Malcer did….." Monsterwyn says.

Doc hums, "Ummm…. I think I'd like us to stay friends still rather than that honestly. As much as I like hanging out I do like your mandatory break from breaking into my house."

"Honestly, they're enough of a handful as is… as much as I like them." Doc thinks.

"It's nice to know you think of me that way though. I don't mind being that sort of… comfort to you. Or, however you think of it in your head." Doc says, ruffling up their hair, making them purr. 

"What were you talking about before anyway, while we were still playing the surprise attack game? The extra rule or whatever?" Monsterwyn asks.

Doc laughs, "Oh, that well, we don't need to worry about it anymore. You've gotten comfortable again and it's all just for fun anyway. If we play it again I'll tell you."

"Oh… then…" Monsterwyn starts, quickly getting up to pin her again. "We're playing again, tell me now! I wanna know!"

"Wyn!" Doc exclaims, giggling, "I thought you liked being cozy more than playing."

"Not when you're keeping anything I wanna know, now tell me tell me!" Monsterwyn says, impatiently swishing their tail around.

"Alright, alright. It was just that for losing, you'd have to be 'attacked' again but like, in a silly way, y'know." Doc answers.

"Attacked again…? Like how? Do you have claws and I never noticed?" Monsterwyn asks, taking a glance at her hands.

"Nothing like that, Wyn. I was gonna subject you to a 'petting attack' where I pet you a bunch. Nothing bad, just a fun thing." Doc says.

"A petting attack… so… if I won would I have to petting attack you?" Monsterwyn asks.

"Oh, no, not if you don't want to. You can do whatever you want to 'attack' me. The point is to have fun, after all." Doc says.

"Oh… that makes sense…" Monsterwyn says.

"I guess it's kind of weird that Doc pets me all the time, and I don't really do it back or anything other than cozy up to her or rub my face on her…." Monsterwyn thinks. "But I don't think I know how to like… go about it… Plus with my claws I'll have to be careful. I can give it a shot though, Doc would be nice about it if she hated it." 

Monsterwyn slowly reaches one of their hands out, then hesitantly, slowly and awkwardly, gently pat Doc on the head.

Doc is puzzled but they give Maldwyn a smile. "They must be trying something out, no harm about it." She thinks.

"She's not saying anything about it… but she's smiling so… I guess that means it's probably alright to pet her? Or maybe I did it wrong and she'll hate it…" Monsterwyn thinks, their eye worriedly darting from making eye contact with her and avoiding it. 

They carefully transition the patting into petting her. Trying to both be gentle and mimic the same movements Doc makes when petting them. Though they stop in confusion when Doc seems to start laughing.

"What's so funny? I'm just petting her? Is this good…? I don't know…" Monsterwyn puzzledly thinks.

"I'm not really sure what they're trying… but hopefully this isn't making it awkward… I can't exactly help it though, curse of being ticklish…." Doc thinks, as she stops herself from laughing.

"Am I….? Doing something wrong…?" Monsterwyn asks hesitantly, almost afraid she'll react negatively.

"What? No, no it's fine! I promise, you can continue doing… whatever you're doing." Doc says reassuringly.

"Oh…. Okay." Monsterwyn says, resuming petting her. Though it still confuses them when Doc starts laughing again. 

They furrow their brow, "I still don't understand, what is so funny about this? Is she making fun of me…? It's just what she does to me… I don't get it." 

They start to get frustrated with Doc's seemingly odd response to this, their tail lashing behind them. Eventually after a few more moments of this, instead of stopping and asking her what's up, they just take their other claw and cover her mouth with it.

Doc takes their hand off of her mouth in confusion, "Wyn. what are you doing???"

"What am I doing? Well what's so funny, I don't get what's funny about this? It just feels like you're making fun of what I'm doing…" Monsterwyn growls, seeming annoyed but more confused than anything.

"Huh? Wyn, I'm just really ticklish, really! I don't mean to come off like that, I just can't help it." Doc says. 

"You're… ticklish…?" Monsterwyn asks, blinking in confusion and appearing to be thinking really hard, as if they're trying to recall something. "Oh… like… the thing you do with kids to entertain them? I thought that went away or something."

"No, no, it's just that y'know people don't really tickle each other that much when they get older, at least not on purpose. I think you keep the same amount of ticklishness also… but I don't know for sure" Doc answers.

Monsterwyn awkwardly avoids eye contact, "I well… um… forgot about that… sorry. Doesn't really come up much when all you do is murder people and steal stuff…" They say, awkwardly laughing. "I… I'm not really the smartest… sorry."

"What? No it's fine, just a harmless misunderstanding. It could happen to anyone. You're always a bit silly though, it's hard to be mad or anything." Doc says.

"Oh…." Monsterwyn says.

"So… are you ticklish?" Doc asks.

Monsterwyn looks back at her again, "I don't really know…" They reply.

"What? Were you never tickled when you were younger? Guess that would make sense… with the whole… being raised for violence thing." Doc says.

"Yeah, Malcer was too busy and stuff for that sort of thing…" Monsterwyn says, "But I played plenty with Fian. But I don't really remember being tickled at all…."

"Oh… then… Do you wanna find out if you're ticklish?" Doc asks.

"Well um… isn't that kind of thing a bit… childish? I don't really… it'll make me seem weak won't it?" Monsterwyn asks in return.

"What? Don't be silly, you're childish all the time. You can still brutally maim people fine, right? Plus, I won't say a peep to anyone else about this if you'd like." Doc says. "It's just for fun to satisfy your curiosity anyway."

"I guess it'd be fine if it was you anyway…" Monsterwyn says, petting her again. "I wouldn't mind finding out, I suppose."

"I'll be happy to oblige then, after you finish… whatever you're doing…?" Doc says.

"Huh? I'm petting you, like you do it all the time to me so i thought… maybe I should try it on you…" Monsterwyn says.

"Oh wait… that's so cute… Wyn you're adorable…" Doc says. "So are you… done?" 

"No! You're suffering my petting attack, forever!" Monsterwyn says defiantly, petting her a bit intensely.

"Ehehehe…. Noooooo… the petting attack is too powerful…" Doc says jokingly. 

"Well too bad, The monster has captured its victim." Monsterwyn says, nuzzling her. "You're stuck forever so I win the game for all of time, which means you're always getting attacked!"

"That's not fair, I still have to attack you too! I won first." Doc says.

"Doesn't matter, because I'm the winner now. You can't stop me." Monsterwyn gloats. 

While Monsterwyn is focused on petting her. Doc slowly reaches her arms out to their sides and then starts ticking them, causing them to mewl in surprise and fall backwards onto their back. squirming.

Doc takes advantage once more, pinning them as they squirm. "Now who's winning?" She asks, a little smug.

"You're cheatingggg! I wanted to be ready for that!" Monsterwyn says.

"The warfare of surprise attack never ends." Doc says, now putting her hands on their chest. "Now, ten thousand petting attack!"

Monsterwyn huffs, looking displeased until Doc shifts back a bit and after petting their belly, starts to tickle them. "Heh… hey! I thought you said you were gonna pet me not hehehe… this!"

"Weeeeell, I did want to hear you laugh more. And there's nothing in the rules that say I can't switch it up whenever I want." Doc says.

Monsterwyn helplessly squirms, while laughing more than enough to outnumber every other time Doc has heard them laugh. To them, it feels like Doc has found all of their weak points so easily. "Well- Ehehe…! You're cheating, you have all the advanced training or hehe… whatever." Monsterwyn says.

This reply makes Doc start laughing as well, "Advanced tickle training? Wyn, I'm really just getting you in common places people are ticklish… I'm not that good. I don't do this that often either…" Doc replies, amusedly. 

"What? But it feels so… Mmmm… Heheheheh!" Monsterwyn says, they can barely get their thoughts together because they're laughing so much.

As Doc starts to sprinkle in some tickles to their sides they seem to laugh harder and squirm more. She seems to have hit the jackpot of where Monsterwyn is the most ticklish. "It feels so… What now? Like I've hit your weak point? Tickle tickle tickle…" She says, a taunting hint in her voice.

"Doc…! I'm gonna cry, I can't… hahaha!" Monsterwyn says, already tearing up, "You're too good at this! I couldn't even get close to this with you…" 

"Well, I'm glad you're still enjoying it." Doc says, chuckling. "Ouhhh but who could've known such an adorable little killer was so ticklish... Who's my ticklish little adorable killer, you are! Yes you are!"

"Nooooooo… ehehehehe! I'm not adorable hehe… I'm vicious! I'm not that ticklish either it's just because it's the first time for meeee!" Monsterwyn says dramatically, still not being able to help laughing. 

"Is that so?" Doc asks, "So we can do this again and you'll be less ticklish?" 

"I don't know how it works… so um…. Maybe?" Monsterwyn replies. "Once I'm free you're going to suffer my petting attack for real! I wasn't done yet!"

"Well I just attack you forever, then. Since I'm the winner now." Doc smugly says.

"Hey! Ehehe… that's what I said! No fair!" Monsterwyn says.

"Well, if you're so tough and vicious… then… why are you still being tickled?" Doc asks. 

Monsterwyn lets out a defiant mewl, "I'm not letting you do this! You're just too good at it!" 

"Yeah, she's too good at this… that's why I can't just… get her off. Even though… it'd be easy…. It's not that I… it's only because of Doc! I don't enjoy this…! It's so… childish and silly! Yeah, it's only because of how nice it is when she touches me… though… I guess it's nicer when it's prolonged contact and not this…" Monsterwyn thinks, "She makes me so soft, of course this would happen… even though I both hate how soft I'm getting and kind of like it…" 

"Yeah, I know" Doc lets out a chuckle. "Who knew that just knowing how to tickle people is more than enough to take down the big bad monster. You're a lot softer than you think huh…"

In one moment Monsterwyn flips Doc over and pins her down, growling. "I'm NOT soft! It's not that easy to just make me go down." 

Doc is still in shock for a moment and after a long time, one that makes Monsterwyn question if they were too rough for a second she says, "... Yeah, whatever you say, Wyn. Though, if you could really do this the whole time… you must've liked that huh."

Monsterwyn hisses, "It's only because you're so nice that I put up with it. Plus we're playing, why wouldn't I go with it. It's not fun if I'm the only one winning."

"If you say so, Wyn." Doc says. "I'd just be happy if you had fun." 

"Well… yeah of course I had fun." Monsterwyn mumbles out. "You're always fun to play with."

"Awh, I'm glad." Doc says happily.

"Don't think you're getting outta my petting attack." Monsterwyn says, "I want payback for those tickles." They start to pet her, starting out gently.

"Ehehe… and payback is um… how much petting exactly?" Doc asks, knowing she'll get a non conclusive answer.

"....... how long were you attacking me? Ummm… that but more." Monsterwyn says as they carefully transition the petting into tickling.

"Noooo... not more than my attack… hehehe… you devious beast…" Doc says dramatically. "Y'know I… haha... didn't really think about how your claws would feel like this."

Monsterwyn stops for a moment, "Does it hurt…?" They ask.

"Oh, no! It's just… weird… you can keep going." Doc says reassuringly. "I'll tell you if I get hurt, okay? You don't have to worry."

"Okay, Doc. I trust you." Monsterwyn says, nuzzling her face before continuing to tickle her.

"Ehehe… I trust you too, Wyn." Doc says.

"Well, they're not tickling me that hard… maybe this'll be fine." Doc thinks, "They do have to be careful with their claws."

"Hmpft." Monsterwyn huffs, "You're lucky I have to get used to doing this before torturing you forever with my terrible attack."

"Ehehehe… well it's not my fault… can't you melt your claws away?" Doc asks. 

"No? Even if I try really hard to I can't melt only my claws… I can melt the whole hand only… it's like… whatever was under my claws isn't really there anymore… but I know it's there I've seen it. It's just… weird." Monsterwyn says, "Plus even when they do melt away completely… it hurts… and my hands are always bleeding and even though I don't have normal blood anymore it's all red…."

"Huh… maybe Annie could take a look? She could probably figure something out." Doc suggests.

"Maybe… but… I don't know… I don't think it'll be useful. I mean I can live everyday life fine without knowing." Monsterwyn says, "Then I'd have one less mystery to think about."

"I guess so… weird stuff happens all the time though, so I wouldn't count out anything as being useless to know." Doc says. 

"... Fine, I guess I'll ask Annie if she can figure it out." Monsterwyn grumbles. "Hopefully it'll be less painful this time."

"It'll be fine, I'll make sure of it. If she makes it hurt for no reason I will be punishing her with no kissies." Doc says.

Getting a little more comfortable with tickling her with their claws, Monsterwyn starts gradually doing it faster. "Well… maybe you should be focusing on my punishment, hm?" Monsterwyn says.

"Hey, ehehehe… you're cheating you distracted me!" Doc says.

"It's not a distraction if you brought it up." Monsterwyn says, tapping her nose with their clawtip. 

"Damn it… you got me there hehehe…" Doc says.

"Yayyy I got you again." Monsterwyn says, smiling at her. "Maybe you're right about me being smart." They chirp in delight.

"Haha… you're plenty smart Wyn. It's not that you- pffft ehehe! Hey I'm in the middle of talking, that's not fair!" Doc exclaims.

Monsterwyn looks at her a bit deviously, "Well it's not my fault I got uncomfortable with my torture method. Plus why do you get to complain? You're my victim." 

"Because surprise attack victims are unionized." Doc says.

"What! No we're not! How does that even make sense??" Monsterwyn exclaims, laughing.

"Well maybe you aren't, but I am Heheheheh." Doc says.

"You'll pay for that!" Monsterwyn says, tickling her sides.

Doc almost squeaks in surprise, starting to squirm underneath them. "Hey! I already did this one!" She says

"Nothing in the rules says you can't!" Monsterwyn muses, chuckling.

At this point, Doc has been laughing so hard she's started crying. It takes a few moments for Monsterwyn to notice, but when they do they stop immediately, a concerned coo escaping their mouth as they gently cup her cheek with one of their claws. "Are you alright?" Monsterwyn asks, their voice dripping with concern.

"Huh? I'm alright, wyn. I just hit the limit for how much I could take before crying." Doc says.

"Oh…" Monsterwyn says, awkwardly. "It's weird seeing you cry… I haven't seen you do it very much so I… sorry…" They whine apologetically, nuzzling her face insistently. "Forgive me for breaking our surprise game fun, ritual, whatever."

Doc lets out a laugh, "You're so silly Wyn, it's alright! It's understandable, you have a lot to worry about when it comes to playing with mortals. I think you've been handling it fine, I'm having fun."

"I better be." Monsterwyn growls, they release their pin on her and begin to check for any wounds. They nose around thoroughly, gently licking her like a cat would groom another.

Doc begins to protest, "Hey! I said it's fine! You don't need to fuss over me this badly, I would've stopped you if I got hurt. I wouldn't hide it from you… I know that'd make you feel worse about it." She says, trying to reassure them. Though she would be lying if she said that it wasn't also because of their thorough checking often leaving her with a very long time to get refamiliar with how rough their tongue is despite how thin a snake's tongue is. Clearly with how they use it, when they got those cat behaviors they definitely were given the need for socializing like one.

"But sometimes you won't notice! And it'll cut you up inside and then it'll happen again and again and then you'll die! Or maybe I'll accidentally poison you and won't realize it until you're under my control!" Monsterwyn exclaims. They keep nosing around, trying to search every last inch of her. Yet once again they find not a scratch. They let out a sigh of relief and start making themself comfortable to lay on her again.

Doc also shares a relieved sigh, "Well you'd never let that happen, I trust you." She gives them a kiss on the head after saying this, silently hoping it'll calm them down. When she hears them purr after doing it, she figures it worked.

"Mmhmm… I'm extra careful with you. I'd never forgive myself for hurting you, even if I wasn't in control, because it's my fault for being out of control or possessed or mind controlled. I should just be able to resist it, it's my fault for hurting people, not anyone else's." Monsterwyn says, lowering their voice down to a mutter as they speak. Though they quiet down completely when Doc starts petting them.

"Shhh… shhhh… It's okay, you're okay… Relax Wyn, alright? It's not your fault… you're plenty capable of being careful." Doc soothingly says. "It's relaxing time… do you want to take a nap?"

Monsterwyn hums a confirmation, "That would be nice…" They murmur, moving to further cling onto her. When they get comfortable Doc pets them on the head. She tries to move towards a nearby table to grab their melatonin gummies, but they start to whine.

"I thought you wanted to take a nap?" Doc laughs, amused. She carefully moves back where she was, taking a purr as confirmation that she was in a satisfactory spot. Monsterwyn flicks their tail towards the table as they begin to reply, "I can grab it myself, how could you forget Sweet Tooth? No need to stop being comfortable." Doc watches as the tips of their crescent shaped tail picks up the container and moves to hand it to her. She lets out a soft laugh as she gently takes it and opens it. "Here you go, Wyn." She says, offering the open container back to them.

Monsterwyn squints at the label, "How much do I eat for a nap again?" They ask. Doc hums in thought before speaking, "I think it was half of one right? Pretty sure that was what worked for you…" On that confirmation, Monsterwyn grabs a gummy and carefully tears it in half with a claw and eats one half then drops the other back into the container. They put the cap back on and use their tail again to put it back where it was.

"Y'know you don't have to be so careful, right? I always have to say it to you, so what's wrong?" Doc asks, carefully petting their head. The beast carefully settles down, but lets out a low growl when she asks that. "You're Annie's greatest prize, of course I'd be careful! She'd… she'd…! Okay I don't know what she would do if anything happened to you but it would be bad! Of course… you're up there on my prize list too… I don't want any scratches or blemishes on your happy head." They say, huffing in frustration. "I don't know how you don't get it, you're important!" Doc pauses, staring at them for a moment. "Wyn, I don't think Annie would take it that seriously unless I was in real danger. You'll be fine, the rest of the DCT is pretty rough sometimes too, um… besides Mable of course." Monsterwyn practically jumps up in alarm, "They hurt you!? I'll teach em not to dare and even hurt a hair on your head! No one gets to hurt one of my prizes! I'll even… I'll… even…" They exclaim, but slowly trail off and quiet down. It seems the gummy finally started to kick in for their nap.

"I'll… get them… later… too comfy…" Monsterwyn mumbles, sleepily. Doc pets them as their grip on her tightens a bit. "Shh… shhh…" She hushes them, trying to calm them so they'll fall asleep.

Eventually, with a bit more coaxing to get comfortable, Monsterwyn falls asleep. Their snores filling the air after a few minutes. Doc breathes a sigh of relief, they always fall asleep eventually, but sometimes it's a struggle with them.

But, since she's not going anywhere, Doc decides it's probably time for her to take a nap as well. Wouldn't want to disturb them from the nap they wanted to take, now would she?

[lonely--seeker]

I know this is kind of late but I'm making a list of all the things/projects I'd like to work on this year and their level of difficulty.

Y'all can peep on this because I have no other place to post it. And I hope I get a tasty social-pressure boost lol.

• Finish some multichaptered fanfics.

1) Top priority. "Something good in all seeming failures" (<-Should be medium to hard. I'm not sure how many chapters this one will take and I feel it needs a good level of writting, I don't want to half ass it)

2) "Like cats and dogs" (<- Medium. Not too interested in finishing unless I have a good wrapping for it)

3) "The day the pirates came to town" (<- Unlikely. But I still don't wanna give up on the idea of a choose your adventure kind of One Piece fanfic. But I think I should re do the whole thing.)

•Write/Post Fanfics.

These don't have names yet, bear with it.

1) Finish writing that Truth or dare Serirei fanfic. (<- Likelyyy! 1,4K words already on it boss 🫡. But get my ass to write it, AUGH!! I have brainworms. Yk what would maybe be a good name for this? Dared to truth or something like that am I right? No? No? Okay.)

2)The birthdaytm Fanfic (<-Less likely. Already started, besides I could write this one in a fucked up night.)

3)Oh also the teddy bear fanfic. (<-Least priority right now)

4) I should just write more fanfics. At least. LEAST 3 more. Idk.

5) pick up all the fanfics I have scrambled

And he hates it (Reigen. 800.)

The mom fic. (1.7K)

Like like like (Serizawa / To be fair I forgot abt this one. I'm dying to read it again. 1K)

You are the only reason (was this Sanji? Was this zosan? I forgot/ 5... 5K words of the best things ever written, too bad they're not in a way it'll ever make sense )

This is a bad Idea (EkuSeriRei?? In my Google docs?? 1.2K)

How... Do we start a story like this? (Not even started lmao.)

• Finally finish some Animation memes.

1) Coffee! (<- Hard. Not even finished sketching but I should be okay I'm a grown up.)

2)Wheat (<- Medium. It's considerably shorter I think? Besides it's funnier to work on.)

3) Private Life (<- Probably easy. It's a full song BUT I don't plan on making it special.)

4)Honey Pie (<- Unlikely. But I've been wanting to work on this forever.)

•Animatics.

I'm not even going into details for these ones.

1)El hijo de Hernández/Sanji (<-Hard.)

2)Lo malo de ser bueno/Serizawa. (<- Medium)

3)Sea of dreams/Sanji (Unlikely)

•I don't know what to name these.

1) Start working on some scrips for the Runaway kids/ The liminal space.

2) Redesing the whole cast for Spacing out. (Actually Majö is perfect) (<- This should be easy)

3) Complete the Music sonas designs/ Bunnycat's alternative designs.

4)Holy shit. I should make references for Art fight!

5) I dunno. Keep Paws and Such Petting Office active.

[meadowmines]

OC-Tober 31: free space :)

[In which Aoyagi gets his weekly visit from his dirty old uncle]

Aoyagi is shoving a batch of bread in the oven for the dinner shift when he hears the door ding. "Be right with ya," he calls over his shoulder.

"Aw, c'mon," a familiar voice calls back. "What's a guy gotta do to get some pussy around here?"

God. Aoyagi tries not to laugh. He really does. He doesn't try very hard. "You sure you wanna burn yer one allotted pussy joke per visit right in the door?" he yells back as he shuts the oven. "You know where yer seat is, ojisan."

Tuesday evening, after the lunch barista and cooks have gone home and before the dinner crew shows up. Just like clockwork. Aoyagi watches from the kitchen as the old man picks his way through the main room to his favorite comfy chair, careful as always not to plant his cane on any paws or tails. A few of the cats trot over to greet him as soon as he sinks into that chair. The fact that he keeps "accidentally" dropping things they're not supposed to eat probably figures into that. "Where's my favorite girl? Hey, Miyuki-chan! Pspspsps--"

Miyuki is facing away from the door and has not yet noticed her favorite customer, and so she goes on licking herself. "She can't hear ya," Aoyagi reminds him. Seems like they have this conversation every time. There are even signs on the wall--Miyuki's glamour shot captioned I'm Miyuki-chan! I'm not ignoring you, I'm deaf! Thank you for understanding! It never sticks. To be fair, though, Aoyagi has been Miyuki's guardian for three years now and he still catches himself going pspsps at her when he knows damn well she can't hear him. "You want the usual?"

"You know it," the old man says. "Hey. Where's that Siamese-lookin' one?"

"Luna? Uh..." Aoyagi starts lining up ingredients on the counter. Eggs, cheese, ham, sourdough bread. "Check under the tables n' stuff. She's been into feet lately."

"Heh. My kinda gal. Naw, the other one. The boy? Little fat one with the stubby tail?"

"Oh, Mochi! Yeah, he got adopted yesterday."

"No kiddin'? Good for him."

"His replacement oughta be around here somewhere..." Aoyagi sticks his head out of the kitchen and sees a big battle-scarred orange cat with big old tom jowls and a clipped ear and a bad case of resting grump face standing up with his paws on the old man's knee. "Yeah, the tough guy climbin' up on ya."

The old man reaches down to give the tough guy a scritch. The tough guy lets out a gravelly meow. If a cat could smoke a pack a day, that's what it'd sound like. "Thought he looked new. What's yer name, bud?"

"He ain't got one yet. We're callin' him 'Nyan-han' for now." Aoyagi goes back to work. "Hey! Yer gettin' decaf. Last time I gave ya the real shit the boss gave me an earful about yer blood pressure."

Aoyagi swears he can hear the old man roll his eyes as he folds a sheet of egg around a slice of cheese. "That was before the doc straightened my meds n' shit out. It'll be fine this time."

"Ojisan."

"The boys ain't let me have one minute of fun since '88." Aoyagi does not know exactly what happened in '88. He's heard bits of it, but the old man's always just sort of handwaved it off. He got hurt, from what Aoyagi gathers. Bad. Bad enough that he almost didn't make it, bad enough that he was never the same after. Aoyagi wonders, but can never quite bring himself to ask, exactly what he was like before. Then again, he probably doesn't need to. Sometimes the old man says something, or gets a look in his eye, or moves a certain way, and Aoyagi thinks maybe just for a second he can see the shadow of the hellraiser Homare Nishitani used to be. "And Yu-chan's the worst of 'em. Caffeinate me."

"The boys and the boss are just lookin' out for ya," Aoyagi says, firmly. "And so am I."

"Tch. Ya hearin' this shit, Nyan-han? Awright. C'mon up here." The old man pats his knee and Nyan-han hops up with another hoarse meow. His face is no less grumpy, but he's slow-blinking and making biscuits like his life depends on it. Probably purring his head off, too. "Heh. Grouchy li'l shit, ain't ya?"

"That's just how his face is." Aoyagi stacks the cheesy eggs onto buttered sourdough with a slice of ham and puts the whole thing back on the griddle to toast. "He looks mean as shit but he's a sweetheart."

"Heh." The old man goes on petting Nyan-han as Aoyagi loads up a tray with fresh fruit and a cup of kitty treats and a plate ready for the sandwich. He waits until the old man's full attention is on Nyan-han and quickly pours a cup of decaf. "Kinda reminds me of Majima-kun."

Aoyagi's eye twitches.

"You do too. More n' more every day."

Aoyagi flips the grilled sandwich onto the plate and cuts it in half, then carries the loaded tray out into the main room. He neatly sidesteps a massive tortie that tries to throw her entire body weight into Aoyagi's leg as he passes and sets the tray down on the old man's table. "I'm nothin' like him."

"Huh." Funny. Aoyagi would have expected him to have more to say about that. But he doesn't. Aoyagi just unloads the tray, and he just goes on petting Nyan-han until the tray is empty. And then he reaches into his jacket pocket, draws forth an obscenely thick wad of cash, and slaps it on the table. "Lock up."

"Haw!?"

"I'm buyin' ya out for the night. That's a thing with restaurants n' shit too, right?" The old man gestures towards the stack of money. Aoyagi guesstimates it would cover dinner, late night, and then some for his whole staff. "Give yer minions the night off. And then fix ya a plate n' sit down." He shrugs. "C'mon. I don't wanna eat alone."

"You're not eatin' alone, ojisan. Ya got ten cats out here with designs on yer ham."

"I want two-legged company that don't treat me like I'm gonna keel over n' die if I drink one cup of decent fuckin' coffee." He snorts out a humorless laugh. "I can't drink anymore. I can't smoke. I can't drive. I can't get it up half the time n' even when I can, I can't do a damn thing with it other than--"

"Awright! Awright! I'll do whatever ya want! Just don't finish that sentence!" He grabs a sign out from under the counter and hangs it in the front door: Closed for private event, will reopen at 11AM tomorrow. aPAWlogies for the inconveNYANce :3

"Attaboy," the old man chortles.

Aoyagi heats up a bacon cheddar scone while he calls his crew and tells them they've got the night off with pay. He cuts up his own little pile of fresh fruit and pours himself some coffee and once again makes his way through the gauntlet of friendly cats with a loaded tray. "I shouldn't be doin' this and you know it," he says as he sits down.

"Yeah, yeah." And right about that time, Miyuki finally turns around and sees her favorite customer. With a joyous earsplitting yell of the sort that only ever comes out of cats that can't hear themselves, she hops down from her perch and trots over to say hello. "Hey! There's my favorite girl. Oops." And he "accidentally" drops a sliver of ham on the floor in front of her.

"Dammit, ojisan." Aoyagi intercepts the ham and wads it up in a napkin before Miyuki can snarf it down.

"Aw, c'mon. Let her live."

"Last thing I need's my number one girl comin' down with the runs in a customer's lap tomorrow. Ya got a cup of kitty treats right there. Give her those."

"Awright, fine." Miyuki hops up into the old man's lap and snuggles up next to Nyan-han. Nyan-han leans over, licks her ear a few times, and goes to sleep. "Ya gave me decaf, ya little shit."

"How the fuck can you tell!?" Aoyagi splutters. "It tastes the same!"

"No it don't." The old man takes another sip and there's that gleam in his eye, the one that hints at the unholy terror he used to be. "Rest of me's goin' to shit but my tastebuds still work. Ya brew yer decaf stronger. Like ya think that's gonna make up for it."

"Tch. Nothin' gets past you, does it?"

"Eh. Not much does." The old man goes on eating his sandwich and feeding treats to the cats. "How long ya been with us now, Amano-kun? 'Bout three years?"

"Somethin' like that," Aoyagi says.

"Ya still that sore at him?"

"What's to be sore about?" Aoyagi takes a big bite of his scone in the hopes that it'll take long enough to chew that the old man will change the subject. He doesn't. "He just tried to kill me, is all. Nothin' to be sore about."

"Any particular reason ya asked Yu-chan to train ya with a blade?"

Shit, how does he... forget it. "Any particular reason ya won't let him look into why Majima called a hit on me?"

"Touché," the old man snorts. "Ya little shit. Like I said. More n' more every day. Get me a cup for the road, would ya? The good shit this time."

"Go to Matsubara on the way home n' leave me out of it."

"I'd drink garbage water straight outta the river before I drink Matsubara's shit. I like your coffee."

Aoyagi sighs. "Flattery will get ya everywhere, old man. Fine. I'll pour ya half a to-go cup but ya gotta tell the boss ya had to torture me for it." Which, given the turn their conversation took tonight, isn't that far from the truth.

"I'll tell him I snuck back n' poured my own while you were in the can."

"Deal."

The old man finishes up his dinner, gently deposits Miyuki and Nyan-han on the floor, and starts to haul himself out of his chair. Aoyagi offers him an arm. He waves it off. He always does. He's always determined to do as much as he can still do by himself, and Aoyagi can't really blame him. So he just pours half a to-go cup of regular coffee and hands it to him. "Torture," he says.

"Yeah, yeah. I ain't rattin' ya out. Hey, I bought ya out for the whole night. Get outta here. Go take a walk. Get you a hooker or a Nintendo or whatever you kids are into these days."

"Fuck's sake, ojisan." Aoyagi shakes his head. "Be careful headin' home."

"Yeah, yeah."

And with that, he's gone and Aoyagi is left alone with ten cats and a lot of thoughts he didn't want tonight.

[hilarychuff]

ok just for the heck of it some sansa/jonsa au casting ideas that are very much up for discussion bc i haven’t figured them out enough on my own to hoard privately to make into one of my au graphics or i just probably never will make it into an au graphic but think it’s a fun idea

just dumping A BUNCH of them under the break (like basically everyone except those i am hoarding for later/have more concrete ideas about that i might actually execute in some way) enjoy this peek into my google docs xoxoxox

13 going on 30 Jenna - sansa Matty - jon  Cat - margaery???? cersei???

Panic Heather - sansa (alayne) Lilly - robin Ray - jon Bishop - harry Natalie - myranda Dodge -

OR

Panic Heather - arya Ray - gendry? Bishop - gendry?   Natalie - sansa Dodge - jon Dodge’s sister - bran

Hocus pocus au max - jon Allison - sansa Dani - arya Thackery binx - aegon? (or brandon?) Emily binx - rhaenys? (or lyanna?) Winifred sanderson - cersei Mary sanderson - tyrion??? Lmao Sarah sanderson - jaime lmao

Big little lies Daenerys is Renata (or is Cersei Renata?? Would leave space for dany to be celeste) Margaery is Madeline Jeyne is Celeste?? Daenerys is Celeste?? Sansa is Jane?? Arya is bonnie??????

Timeless Sansa is the historian Jon is the military guy Ygritte is his dead ex Sam is the science guy Theon is the villain guy who later becomes the love interest

Dead to me Jen - arya (not cold but very firmly not warm, resting bitch face, might kill sansa but also might kill for sansa) Judy - sansa (bleeding heart, bad men, so much guilt, more than a little confessy when she’s wronged someone, potential to be kinda gay!) Ted - ???? Steve - harry hardyng? Littlefinger himself? Ramsay? Joffrey? Maybe joffrey works best? Ben - gendry (work if he’s joffrey’s “half-brother” or w/e)

Saved au Mary - sansa Cassandra - arya Roland - willas? Tyrion? Hilary Faye - Margaery? Cersei? Patrick - jon? Pastor skip - ned Mary-Louise Parker - catelyn Dean - loras? Theon? Mitch - renly? Robb? Tia - Veronica -

Don’t look under the bed Frances - sansa Darwin - bran after he falls/is pushed Albert - robb? Joann - jon with modifications so that he is a potential love interest at the end for sansa Larry - theon Zoe - margaery? Parents - ned and cat

Hunger games Katniss - jon tbh lmao Peeta - sansa Gale - ygritte? daenerys? Prim - arya? Or does it have to be bran/rickon since jon is a boy?? Maybe it’s not a boy/girl tribute thing maybe it’s just any two tributes Haymitch - tyrion? Dontos? Mance rayder? Wyman manderly? Thoughts to be thunk here with who would be in what district if we want to really get crazy Effie - varys lmfao???? Finnick - jaime lannister Johanna - daenerys? Ooooh but could be brienne if you leaned into it maybe President snow - mad king aerys? Beetee - tyrion? Rue - satin?

Grease Sandy - sansa Danny - jon Kenickie - tormund? Mance? Roger - sam Other greasers - pyp, grenn, etc Rizzo - ygritte Frenchy - gilly? Val? Idk ygritte for rizzo is really the only one that resonates i just love grease Fuck actually ygritte as the rizzo to sansa’s sandy is so good that this is worth giving some more thought The wall boys are such lil fucking nerds that they feel right for the delinquent greasers, too Although lbr jon is more of an alfalfa in the he-man woman haters’ club than he is a danny zucko Theon is more of a danny zucko but i don’t know if i want this for theonsa Anyway sansa’s whole family moved and robb is now doing athlete shit with whoever that athlete sandy briefly dates is (harry hardyng?) Is chacha val?????? Maybe arya falls in with the pink ladies first and then sansa gets sort of reluctantly dragged along Arya sings sandra dee at first and then when rizzo starts to join in she’s like wait only i get to make fun of sansa

Mama mia Meryl streep - sansa Pierce brosnan - jon Swedish guy - theon Colin firth - loras tyrell Christine baranski - margaery tyrell Other friend - jeyne poole LMFAO catelyn as cher i just cackled why is that so funny even though it doesn’t make sense

Harry Potter Sirius - jon James - Robb Lily - Jeyne westerling (except is she maybe more of a james figure politically) Petunia (but nice) - sansa Peter - theon Remus - samwell Tarly Vernon (but just dating) - Harry Hardyng Madame hooch - arya Weasleys - sam and gilly

New girl Jess - sansa Cece - margaery Nick - jon Schmidt - robb Winston - theon

10th kingdom Virginia - sansa The wolf - jon Jon larroquette - ned

Goodbye earl Maryanne - sansa Wanda - jeyne Earl - ramsay

Bring it on (for the gays) Torrance - sansa Torrance’s lil brother - arya Big red - margaery // cersei? The clovers - the sand snakes Missy - mya stone? // margaery? Cliff - gendry // willas/loras? Aaron - daenerys

Teenage bounty hunters Sterling - sansa Blair - arya Debbie - cat Dana - lysa Bowser - the hound?

Buffy the vampire slayer Buffy - arya Cordelia - sansa Willow - bran Xander - jon Angel - gendry Amy - jojen (or is jojen tara?) Dawn - rickon (robb is already away at college?)

[flowerprose]

22 & 23 for the weird questions for writers :)

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

ahh, truthfully, i am not as organized as I'd like to be, but I've also lost two laptops in the last year which complicates matters. right now, I rely on google docs bc I can access it from my phone, iPad, and work computer. my google docs are not organized whatsoever. i have never made a folder. it is terribly messy and agonizing to search through some days.

I also keep a moleskin journal bc I like to write drabbles, notes, and ideas by hand. my notes app also has loose sentences or scenarios that occur to me when i'm out and about. in my basket are also probably a dozen or so scrap pieces of papers filled with rushed drabbles and ideas so I wouldn't forget. i like to add my writing to whatever I can take a pen to, really.

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

my desk features as both my writing space and vanity, so it's quite messy, but i like to operate in a bit of chaos. to the right of my hand, i have my light-up mirror, animal crossing bag overflowing with makeup, pink organizers for brushes, lipsticks, eye liner, pens, mechanical pencils, and highlighters. my mouse sits on top of a blue cardcaptor sakura mousepad. behind my laptop, a flower pusheen, sailor moon kitty cats, and a few sailor moon figures that i just want nearby bc they're so pretty to look at.

at my left is a stack of books (greek mythology, the odyssey trans. by emily wilson, my moleskin, daily planner, poetry collection by louise gluck, and the orestia), as well as my ipad propped open with my notes page for namesake.

[rebelbyrdie]

A Rant Full of Updates:

I am home! I am super glad, but it's also hard. The hospital was a clinical, laminal space. Home has challenges and daily worries, and reality.

I live in a small place so wheelchairing around is difficult sometimes. Luckily pending a pair of orthopedic shoes, I can put weight on my left foot again. That makes crutches an option. I will always need a wheel chair, but I do look forward to being more mobile.

The hospital and pharmacy are having communication issues so I'm short several nessecary medication. Luckily for me, my pain is more or less under control.

I have 2 doc appointments (hoping for stitches out of my right leg) and a home health visit.

I took the weekend off to adjust, but Monday starts my home physical therapy starts. My physical therapist told me that for results the basic bitch PT won't work for me. So I'm doing some fun things like adapted crunches, planks, and pilates with some yoga and weight training thrown in. I have to focus on my arms and core. After next week I have to add leg work then eventually cardio. I don't particularly enjoy working out, but I have to.

I miss my cat and have been lavishing love on my other two kitties. It still hurts that Bitty wasn't here when I came home and she never will be.

I have been experiencing mood swings and a ton of frustration. The hospital therapist said that was normal. I don't like it...I feel like I've been a giant bitch to my family.

So yeah, I'm trying to find normal again. Wish me luck!

[sarasa-cat]

I am sick (not teh vid but extreme asthma from dickish neighbors bonfire using very foul wood that reeks like forest fire like how is this even legal in this Hickass backwards city. Oh rigth I answered my question fml.)

And pumped with so much chocolate and caffeine plus the doc prescribed Rx stuff I take for this which is also a stimulant (actually the 85% chocolate and strong coffee are also very strong Rx’es) my doctor btw has zero sympathy for ppl like me who believe in modern concepts of clean air despite her pretending to be so “liberal” and her literally thinkkng I am a backwards conservative from a backwards ppl I fuckjng shit u not I cannot stand these fuckers

And I don’t want to move my body but my brain is screaming bc it has so many things it wants to Do Right Now

I am thinking about how I should create a magical little escapist world like a ghibli movie only real and just become a solo video producer of a not entirely real world

Bc idk I am having strange thoughts today

Honestly I just want to live inside a library 📚 with cozy reading and writing spaces plus an art zone and serve tea and coffee to my pocket friends.

Ahhhh one of my cats who was sick is looking a bit better and full of self satisfaction sitting on the new window seat storage-bench I made the other week outta cheap but very sturdy IKEA parts based on recos from the ikea hackers online.

[naesarangyunho]

Gumiho- Lee Minho (Lee Know of Stray Kids)

SYNOPSIS: Lee Know has a secret and when he gets trapped in the back room with a co-worker from the veterinary clinic, exhaustion has that secret slipping out. TAGS: Gen. Neutral reader, fluff, supernatural elements, magic, Gumiho!Lee Know, Veterinarian!Lee Know A/N: According to real Korean folklore, Gumihos are nine-tailed foxes who take the form of beautiful women in order to seduce men and well... Consume their flesh. For the sake of this fanfiction we will do what most popular shows involving Gumihos have done and dabble in canon-divergence. [2.8 words]

Their heart jumped as they heard the lock click into place behind them, shutting them in the dimly lit backroom. They had stayed behind to catch up on paperwork and it seemed that when they went to search for documents in the backroom, a colleague must have thought the building to be empty and locked up.

"Shit!" They cursed, banging on the door with their fists, "I'm still in here!"

They got no response and even after trying several more times and rattling on the door handle, the result remained the same. It was probably Jisung again, wasn't it? That man always had his earphones in.

They groaned- this was no good. They didn't have their cellphone on them and the windows in this room were small and high up- impossible to escape through.

They slumped down against the door in defeat, head in their hands. Was this karma? Was this their punishment for being behind on work? Regardless, they were going to annihilate both Jisung and his headphones the next time they saw him.

"What's happening?" Someone suddenly called out and they nearly jumped out of their skin- they could've sworn they were in here alone.

They bit back a surprised yelp as the head veterinarian emerged from behind one of the tall shelves, looking slightly disoriented and running his hands through his messy dark hair.

"Oh, Dr Lee!" they pressed a hand to their chest, "You startled me."

"Sorry about that." He scratched the back of his neck.

They frowned, "What are you doing here, doctor?"

He looked sheepish and pointed behind him, "I may or may not have been napping behind there."

They gave him a once-over, "Oh, you do look pretty exhausted."

"No offence!" They tacked on apologetically but he just waved it off.

"None taken, I am exhausted. I worked all of yesterday and then through the night as well. Two emergency surgeries- not one, but two cats were attacked by dogs."

They grimaced, "That's awful..." They eyed his dark circles, "Did you work all of today as well? I don't recall you going home, doc."

He nodded and sighed deeply, "Yeah. I had no choice. Dr Kim was off sick."

He walked up to her, "Also, I remember asking you and the staff to just call me Minho."

They looked up at him from their seat on the floor, "Oh, yes, sorry, Minho."

He shook his head, "It's alright," then surveyed the room, "How are we getting out of here?"

They surveyed the room again along with him, "My initial thought had been the windows but they're too high and small. I don't think I'd fit no matter how hard I tried."

He nodded along to her words, "I agree." He sighed deeply, hands on his hips.

"I'd normally just use magic but..." He mumbled under his breath, still surveying the room as if to find exits they already knew didn't exist.

"Magic?" They sputtered, not quite sure they'd heard him right.

His eyes widened for a moment and he laughed awkwardly, "Did I say magic? Sorry, I don't know what I'm talking about."

He waved his hands dismissively, "I'm so exhausted, don't listen to me."

They nodded slowly, giving him a sceptical look. He was acting strange, that was safe to say. Maybe it really just was exhaustion.

He paced around the room a few times before huffing and sinking to the floor a little ways away from them. They eyed the substantial amount of space between but didn't take it personally; he wasn't very big on skinship of any kind and liked his space. At least, that was what they'd gathered after having worked with him for over a year now.

"Hyunjin is going to kill me," He muttered darkly, leaning his head back against the wall.

"Hyunjin?" They repeated. It didn't sound like a very feminine name but they couldn't help but wonder if that was perhaps his girlfriend. Or boyfriend.

He tilted his head in their direction, "Yeah, my roommate. He's out for the day and I was supposed to feed his dog tonight but I haven't yet."

"Oh no."

"Exactly," He responded with a dejected sigh.

He shifted around a little in a vain attempt to get comfortable but winced suddenly, fingers shooting up to his temple. They scooted closer to him and eyed him with concern, "Are you alright?"

He winced again and leaned away from them, "Yeah. Just a headache."

"Doesn't look like 'just a headache' to me, Minho."

"I swear, I'm fine."

His eyes fell shut and leaned his head back again, massaging his temple with a slight grimace. They frowned at him, still concerned but chose to let it go for now. They mirrored his action and leaned their head back against the door. How long would they be stuck here?

After a silence that seemed to stretch on for hours, there was a sudden movement in their peripheral vision. Their gaze jumped to Minho. They gasped audibly; seven soft, snow-white tails had sprung out from Minho and were all slumped down over each other on the worn linoleum floor.

They must be losing their mind, they thought.

Their eyes shifted from his tails to his face in absolute shock. They were further convinced of their loss of sanity when they saw a set of soft, white ears to match his tails.

They jumped back, eyes wide as saucers, "Minho?!"

He groaned, his ears flattening against his scalp and covered his face with his hands.

Despite their shock, concern washed over them at the look of barely disguised fear in Minho's eyes. He looked like an animal trapped in a corner but looked too exhausted to even think of fighting back and defending himself.

"Hey, don't worry," They murmured gently, carefully scooting toward the male. They tentatively reached a hand out and when Minho didn't dodge it, they ran their fingers gently over one of his soft ears. They noticed his wary gaze and retracted their hand.

"What-" They gulped, "What are you?"

They didn't know what they were supposed to feel at that moment. Fear? One look into Minho's deep brown eyes would tell them otherwise.

There was a pause as he scanned their face. They were not sure what he was looking for but he must have found it when after a moment he finally responded, "Gumiho."

He averted his gaze. He looked absolutely exhausted and annoyed. With them or himself?

They cleared their throat, "Gumiho? Like a nine-tailed fox?"

This felt utterly surreal. Were they actually trapped in the backroom with him or had they simply fallen asleep at their desk again? That seemed like a reasonable explanation. They pinched themselves. Minho's gaze shot back to them as he heard them let out a little pained hiss.

He eyed them and realised what they had done. He rolled his eyes, "You are unfortunately not dreaming."

They rubbed the spot they had pinched and just looked at him, awaiting some kind of explanation.

"Yeah, a nine-tailed fox. Usually, I hide all of this," he gestured to himself and his blatantly supernatural features, "but I'm too hungry and tired right now. No energy means no magic."

Their head was still reeling, "Gumiho. Magic. I-" Their gaze snapped to his tails then back up, "Wait, you only have seven tails."

Minho raised his eyebrows and an almost inaudible chuckle left him, "Of all things to worry about in this situation?"

They just stared at him wordlessly. He continued talking after a moment with a shake of his head like he also couldn't quite believe the situation either.

"You get a tail every century. I'm only seven hundred years old."

" 'Only' seven hundred years old? Minho-"

They blanched as they realised he was not only their senior by a few years but by a few hundred years. This was all kinds of crazy.

"I... I'm sorry, I haven't been using the politest of Korean with you. The honorifics-"

He shook his head and dismissed their sentence with a wave of his hand, "That doesn't matter. Besides, I should be the one apologising. You shouldn't have seen this."

"It's okay. I feel like I'm dreaming but this seems to be real. It must be- I don't have the imagination to think this up."

They eyed his tails; they were twitching nervously.

"Relax, Minho."

His tails stilled and he gave them a small smile.

After a few more minutes of silence, he spoke up again, "I'm surprised that you're not scared of me."

"Well, I don't have any reason to be. Unless you really do eat livers like in the stories?"

He groaned, "Why does everyone think that? That's kind of gross."

He pouted, his tails flicking again.

They couldn't help but smile softly at them, "They're beautiful."

He gave them a questioning look, "What?"

"Your tails. Your fur," They clarified, meeting his eye again.

His cheeks flushed and their smile broadened. Who knew Dr Lee could blush like this?

"Can I touch them?" They asked without thinking.

His cheeks were still pink as he responded, "I...If you'd like to."

They reached a careful hand out and ran their fingers through the soft fur, smiling. It really was pretty. He clearly took good care of his fur. ( What a strange thing to be saying about a person, they mused) He was clearly very real. He shuddered and flicked his tail out of her hand suddenly and they looked up at him, both confused and slightly disappointed.

"What's wrong?"

He shook his head, "It's not a good idea for you to be this close to me."

They frowned, "What? Why?"

He closed his eyes and leaned away from me. He looked so very exhausted and their heart ached for him.

"Because I'm hungry."

Their frown deepened, "And? You said you don't eat livers."

He gave them a look, "No, but I do consume human energy."

That caught them off guard.

He grimaced and clutched his temple again and once more they looked at him in concern, "Are you okay?"

"I'll be fine."

He looked so pale.

"You don't look okay. Can I help somehow?" They really wanted to reach out and comfort him but didn't want to make him uncomfortable.

"No."

"Can't you take some of my energy? Will that help? We're going to be here a long time."

He gave them a frustrated look, "It would help, yes, but no- it will drain you of energy. You'll be exhausted."

They huffed, "I want to help. Besides, you said you need energy to do magic, right? Well if you have magic you could get us out of here, right?"

"I-"

They scooted up next to him and he eyed them wearily, "Technically speaking, yes, but I still don't think it's a good idea."

"Please. I want to help you and I also really want to get out of here."

He hesitated for a moment and they could see him weigh out the situation in his head.

"Okay. Fine," He relented finally.

They gave him a small smile. They were nervous, they would admit, but they truly did want to help him out.

"How do I give you energy?"

He blushed all of a sudden, scratching the back of his neck and they frowned, "What?"

"I'm not saying this as a come-on, but the fastest way right now would be for me to, um, to kiss you."

It was their turn to blush.

Their heart may or may not have skipped a beat. They might have had thoughts and daydreams about kissing him before. Could you blame them though? He was an attractive man and so good with animals. They didn't think that, if it were to ever happen, it would happen under circumstances such as these. How could they?

"You don't have to do this if you don't want to," He said hurriedly as he noticed their hesitation but they were quick to shake their head.

"It's okay. Just do it, I don't mind."

They watched as his cheeks flushed a light pink once more as he leaned in and brought a hand up to cup their jaw. They matched his blush and their eyes fell shut quickly, unable to maintain eye contact with him.

For a moment, nothing happened and no sounds could be heard apart from their breathing until finally, he pressed his lips to theirs. Their heart did a cartwheel and their breath caught in their throat at the contact. They had no idea how long this was meant to last or if it was only meant to be a close-mouthed peck and so they simply let him take the lead.

He moved his lips against theirs and they followed his lead, reaching a hand forward to grip the fabric of his pants to steady themselves. He urged them into an open-mouthed kiss and they were taken by surprise by the movement but we were quick to reciprocate. They melted into the kiss helplessly. He was a fantastic kisser and they just chalked it up to nearly seven hundred years of experience.

They could feel themselves slowly grow sleepy but didn't dare take their lips off his. This may just be out of necessity but they didn't know if they were ever going to get another chance like this and they were not about to squander it. Eventually, however, they started slumping forwards and gripped his thighs in an attempt to stay upright as their kisses became sloppy.

He must have realised, pulling back to give them a concerned look. Their eyes remained shut as he held their face in both his hands to keep their head up.

"I'm so sorry, I think I got a little carried away. Are you okay?"

"I'm moreeee than okay," They mumbled dopily without thinking.

He raised his eyebrows a little, "What do you mean?"

"Kissing you s'nice. Wanted to for a while now," their words were slurred by approaching slumber and their filter had fallen away.

Minho smiled shyly at their words.

"Likewise," He murmured but his words fell on deaf ears as they slumped into his arms, fast asleep.

"Aishh," He cursed, holding them against him.

He should have been more careful; he did admittedly get carried away like he had said.

With renewed energy, he stood up, cradling them in his arms. With a click of his fingers, his tails and fluffy ears disappeared with a pop. With another click, the door was unlocked and creaking open.

He carried them to his car and tucked them away in his backseat, supporting their head with a spare jacket that he had laying back there. Having no clue as to where they lived, he had no choice but to take them home with him. When they finally arrived at his home, his coworker was still out cold so all that he could do was carry them inside, magic them into some comfortable clothing and tuck them into his guest bed.

He watched their sleeping form for a moment, fingers on the light switch. They looked so peaceful. He felt terrible for draining them like this and knew they would probably sleep well into the next day. He would have to call in sick for them. He pushed back his growing guilt with a reminder that they had consented to this and would probably kick his ass for angsting over it.

He flicked off the light and made his way to his own room (After feeding the dog, of course) As he lay awake in bed, staring at the ceiling he held a silent debate with himself. He was deciding whether or not he should simply erase their memory of tonight and after a good long moment he decided against it. They had taken so well to him being a mythical creature and after that kiss and the way they had been so gentle with him, and the way they'd stroked over his fur so carefully, he decided to be selfish. He wanted to be free like that with someone again and he also just really wanted to kiss them again, for real and because they wanted to and not because they needed to.

Seven hundred years he'd lived and it had been a long time since he had felt this way.

He liked it.

A/N: Remember that requests are open. Just comment or send me a DM with the idols' names and what you would like to have included as well as whether you want smut or fluff.

[ibreathebooks-42]

I posted 436 times in 2022

That's 129 more posts than 2021!

35 posts created (8%)

401 posts reblogged (92%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@spiritofcamelot

@sauronssade

@galwednesday

@daeshikoba

I tagged 399 of my posts in 2022

Only 8% of my posts had no tags

#reblog - 297 posts

#art - 84 posts

#lol - 81 posts

#mine - 49 posts

#the sandman - 30 posts

#wow - 26 posts

#fan art - 24 posts

#cats - 21 posts

#makes me smile - 17 posts

#xd - 15 posts

Longest Tag: 128 characters

#right eye is still healing a bit- but it used to be basically useless and now i can actually read things with my left eye closed

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Thing I am bad at: Saying no to people

Thing I am weak to: Adorable kittens

Completely unrelated to the above two facts, and asking for a friend- how many cats is too many cats for a single apartment sized living space?

12 notes - Posted November 26, 2022

#4

Mr. Swales will forever and always in my head be the best art teacher I ever had, which led to some confusion at the posts coming across my dash….until I remembered dracula existed XD

18 notes - Posted August 2, 2022

#3

A fic I probably won't write

Throwing this out into the world in the vauge chance someone else will run with it- figure that's better than it sitting with all the other bits of fics in a bits and pieces doc until I completely forgot about it. This is just what I happened to get down before the muse ran out, feel free to take it where you will! If someone does happen to write something though, I'd love a heads up so I can read it :)

Leverage/Sandman x-over - nooooo, why brain???

Leverage stealing something from Burgess estate- family of past cult member heirloom??? Something.

Uber sketchy this place

“Nate?[Guys?]  We have a problem”  “What is it Eliot?”  “They aren’t keeping a vault in the basement, it’s a guy”

Or parker finding Dream?

Yep, we are stealing him now

Parker and Dream head tilting at each other

Break him out, bundle him up

Dream too weak to return to the dreaming

Held back from first rush of power so as not to hurt leverage?

Idk, he is stuck now. cause fic.

Uuuuhhh, what do we do with him now?

Dream tells them Robert Gadling and then becomes mr unconscious

Hardison looking for this dude, like- what’s with all the aliases every so many years, hid his trail as much as possible

Finds a rare photo- Uh guys!?  Either this dude’s genes are REALLY strong, or….

Some of them go to pub to find him

Eliot is seeing this guy and like- that’s distinctive this, that’s distinctive that, wtf

Hob is suspicious of random americans who are calling him a name he hasn’t used in years

Reunion!

Angry Hob is angry- what did you do!  What? No! We rescued him! (Angry Hob is possibly plotting vengeance, Burgess should be scared)

Dream gets wrapped in all the blankets

Immortality reveal

Leverage going after ruby???

54 notes - Posted October 24, 2022

#2

So I've been maybe designing a (tv) Sandman stained glass window and doing screenshots/cleaning them up for references.

Just love this one so much

57 notes - Posted September 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hopes and Dreams

It had taken a few drinks to get them to this point, but Hob rarely got a chance to be open about his longer than expected history and eventually the talk came around to his centennial meetings.  And what had happened at the last one in 1889.

“Wait a moment, let me get this straight- some powerful entity makes you immortal, meets back up with you century after century, and then on your sixth date you tell him he is lonely and say you are just friends?  Geesh, no wonder the guy stormed off.”

“What- no- it wasn’t like that!”  Hob sputtered as his drink came down hard on the table.

“Uh huh, sure- and in the 1500s you didn’t shove your wife and kid in his face only to get upset when he then went off with someone else?”

“...”

His friend just raised his eyebrow at him and went back to sipping his beer while thoughts chased themselves across the immortal’s face.  When put like that…..

“Honestly I’m just impressed whatever he was just stormed off and you didn’t end up cursed or something.  Powerful enough to give immortality without a noticeable drawback?  Definitely powerful enough that breakups tend to spawn legends.”

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Who is Hob drinking with? No clue, but someone who is supernatural or at least involved in the supernatural. Honestly was kinda thinking of making it be John Constantine and having it be a relative of Johanna, but decided to leave it up to the imagination- feel free to insert your favorite character/crossover.

Had this conversation stuck in my head, but it isn't going to fit into Silver Linings so figured I'd just post it on its own. AO3

96 notes - Posted September 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[alexiososp]

KAISOO 2024 Birthday Season Episode Specials: Cover Art with Kiki the Artist

I am Alexio Sospranio, and you’re listening to the kaisoo fic podcast.

Dear kaisoo listener, this episode covers the story behind the episode cover art pieces and a segment for the artist to share with us her journey.

I had always been looking for an artist who I could commission to do the cover art of my podcast episodes for many reasons. One, i can’t really draw and so I knew I couldn’t make what I wanted in my head on the screen.

And two whenever see Kiki’s works on my feed and I’ve always found it super cute. So when I saw that Kiki’s commissions were opened, I wondered, hm won’t it be interesting to see the image I have for kaisoo’s 2024 birthday special episode cover art panel through Kiki’s artistic lens?

So I took a leap and DMed the lovely Kiki, my concept. And when i did, kiki asked for the vibe, concept, outfit, pose to have a better sense of the whole picture. I was very specific as to what I wanted. 

The concept for this kaisoo birthday season was bearnini and kittysoo getting ready to celebrate their birthdays.

The image i have in my head is that kaisoo live together and they live in a sort of cottage with a garden where nini mends their beautiful garden with a small harvest that soo uses for his cooking hence why nini is wearing a garden apparel and soo is wearing an apron. They live with a small black cat that brings its brown bear soft toy everywhere it goes. 

The trailer episode for the season has kaisoo looking shy at each other, as if they got caught trying to surprise each other. The vibes here convey feelings of curiosity and hopefulness. Ah, to be in love and happy. 

I was very specific as to what i wanted. From having the banners not hung properly on the trailer day to the positioning of the cat and bear duo, to the colour of the balloons soo holds on kaisoo day art. To the flowers nini holds out for soo, to have it be two yellow daffodils that signify rebirth and new beginnings, and a green carnation that… as we all saw in the war press conference back in 2017 D.O. of EXO wearing a green carnation THAT indicated homosexual affiliations back in the 19th century yes ksoo we know WE KNOW and of course haha the other flower would be a rose to signify love and passion and also the fact that ksoo sings about a rose to his lover in his first mini album.

I shared a doc with kiki on the things I wanted to see in the pieces like the episode special on Kyungsoo day. Soo getting the table ready for their birthday. Soo from the kitchen, baking, as you can see from the art, vanilla cupcakes and a peach cake. Thank you KAI of EXO for singing a song on peaches and vanilla, which made it easier for me while I was conceptualising this image. And I wanted to see in the pieces like the episode special on Jongin day, fourth cover art we have nini decorating roses on the table and petals coming out of the pocket of his garden apparel, garden apparel has a spade inside the waist pocket .

But anyway yes on kaisoo day itself we have kaisoo now changed into proper outfits, inspired by KAI and D.O in their individual 2023 party outfits. Before moving on to the next segment, i'm not sure if listeners are aware thatttt actually the background colour for my episode cover art is always the same: pink and yellow. It;s actually the colours of kaisoo’s jersey during the hear me out promotion video where kaisoo were sitting next to each other. I love it so much and I have it as my wallpaper because what is personal space to kaisoo am i right?!

But anyway, this is a bonus episode with kiki, peachypeptide on twitter. She has done a lot for me when i sent her this long list of requests of how i wanted things done, positioning of the different characters and elements, colour scheme and all. 

So to show my appreciation for our artist of the day, the next segment of this episode today will be getting to know more about the artist we have here today. Prior to todays session, i asked Kiki some questions and this was what she had to say:

Hello there kiki. I just want to start by saying thank you so much for making the image in my head come onto the screen. 

Now, I asked for quite a bit, but maybe let’s start with some warm up questions.

I am aware that you are a collage student (please correct me if i am wrong!), so if you don't mind me asking, what are you majoring in? Are you in the visual arts scene or is drawing a hobby?

Yes, I am a college student. Living far from home is never easy. My major is digital arts & graphic design. It was a hobby at first but the more I grew up the bigger the passion became. I want to make a living out of drawing and creating beautiful things. Well, not like i have other choices since drawing is the only thing i’m good at hehehe

Aw, that is a nice aspiration to have! Using the talents we have been given and using them to the fullest. 

So going on with the theme of creation, how long have you been creating artworks? Not just pouty nini related or EXO related, it could be from your very first artwork to how you got here!

My first piece of art (not really art hehe) was the butterfly i drew when i was 4. My grandma taught me how to use crayons and pencils. The way my silly lines can create a butterfly on the paper made me excited. I can feel something bloom in my chest, like, i love this feeling, i love these crayons and pencils, i want more!!!. And my grandma also supported and praised me a lot that boosted my confidence (i love her so much). Well, i might not be that good but i am definitely the best in her eyes.

I started drawing ninibear 3 months (or more) ago. Becoming a fanartist was never a part of my plan. I prefer silently supporting. But don’t get me wrong hehe, i love drawing and i love jonginnie and exo so much but i got this curse that happen whenever i’m into any idol: i can’t draw them as pretty as i want, i can’t draw the same face or body. It mentally haunts me. But i just love jonginnie so much that i just dont care. And i just draw draw draw and draw. You can see how different the first ninibears compared to present ninibears. It’s a fun process actually and i love the fact that i contribute something to the fandom.

Of course! I remember reading somewhere about having a quick dopamine release as you consume fanwork on a new obsession. But as we create, like what kiki, other fanartist and authors do, there is a release of slow dopamine that is more sustainable and engaging. This kind of slow dopamine we get is from doing things that take effort but are ultimately rewarding.

Now onto the commission itself, what was your process of doing it? What were the things you prioritised and how did it slowly come together? 

The process is super simple and like many other artists, i spend all day to find inspiration. Scrolling on every platform, running errands, watching tutorial, dancing (hehe),… or even just breathing, doing nothing, lying on bed until some ideas hit, then wake up in the middle of the night to sketch. It’s not good for my health at all, I know but can I help it? 

The following phases, well you know, sketch - line - color. It’s just very natural. Like, when i line and paint the art, no thoughts in my head. There’s no space to think. That’s my hand’s job (hehe). Silly, isn’t it?

Of course the first priority is ninibear. He’s the main event, the soul of the party. When i draw ninibear, i spent a lot of time on brainstorming his clothes. I want him to look the cutest. And well, it’s the hardest part because he looks the cutest when he has nothing on him (all round and chubby). So basically when i can come up with any outfit idea, everything is just easy, life is good.

That is actually pretty wholesome! And as the person who commissioned kiki, i got updates from her ever so often, which i am forever grateful for. She kept me engaged in the process and was always open to suggestion. Now, last question of the day: Which kaisoo episode cover art that you have done is your favourite, and why?

Can i say all of them? Your idea was too cute to handle, that’s why my love to all 4 is all equal. I appreciate every second of the process, the idea that i’m helping you to visualise a lovely story of kaisoo. Each piece of cover art means a lot to me. I just love them all ❤️

Of course, i do agree, because i too, love each of them… 

and dear kiki, it was lovely to have you be my artist for a while. I am very grateful for your time, your dedication and being a small part of your creative journey. It is quite amazing to see an artist at work. Thank you for making the images come to life. 

And with that we have come to the end of today’s episode.   

To reach me, i am kaisooficdrunk on twitter and if you want you can drop me questions on my curious cat you can do so with the same username. There will also be another link that brings you to my tumblr blog with the transcription for today's episode. There you can also find the other scripts for other episodes as well.

Thank you for listening, have a good day, and see you in the next episode!