#cats can a little pizza as a treat

[katsukistofu]

peanut butter and jellyfish

contents ౨ৎ ⋆ h. shinsou x fem reader. 5k words — fluff. cursing. comforting insecurities. friends to secret lovers.

⭑ shenanigans with your not-so-secret boyfriend ft. sleepovers with eri, a cat eating pizza on you at 3am, your classmates being nosy, and an aquarium date.

note: your quirk is forensic sight! so ur gc name is the way it is bc ur eyes lol get it

You choke back a laugh as a very focused Eri puts yet another sticker on Hitoshi’s face. 

Snacks and pillows are strewn around the inside of the blanket fort the three of you finished building moments before. Stiller than a rock, your calm best friend sits there cross-legged so that Eri can give him a makeover of unicorns, stars, and rainbows. 

“Do you think he looks pretty yet?” Eri tilts her head at you.

“Like a real-life princess.” You giggle. “Good job, Eri!” 

“Yay!” She happily high fives the hand you hold up for her. “Do you feel pretty yet, Hito-nii?”

“I feel so bonita.” Hitoshi deadpans, sending you two into another fit of giggles.

“You were pretty already, Toshi,” you coo, rubbing a thumb over the sticker of a cat making sushi on his cheekbone. Mr. Aizawa must have bought that one for her.

Hitoshi pretends to shyly gaze at you from under his long lashes. “Aw, really?”

His lips curve into a lazy smile, and a heat that you’re all too familiar with rises up your neck, you turn away–a little too quickly, to Hitoshi’s amusement.

“Nevermind you’re ugly.”

He laughs and the heat creeps up to your cheeks.

Such a simple sound, yet that soft, husky voice of his always manages to make your insides a mushy mess, even when you had painfully tripped over his cat, Celery, when he transferred and first moved into the dorms with your class.

The normally stoic, reserved purple-haired boy had doubled over with an uncontrollable wheeze, supporting himself on the sofa as your groaning self was sprawled across the floor. 

God, they were lucky they were both cute.

Yet, you couldn’t help but smile as he reached a hand out to help you up, the other still covering his mouth. 

That was the first time you made him laugh, and now, you’ve heard it so many times that you could finally stop counting on both your hands’ fingers but you still wanted more.

“Want me to paint your nails, Eri?” You ask, scooting over to your bedroom’s drawer. 

You open it, your own light blue nails painted a color that reminds you of the sea against the pastel pink of the treasure box you take out. It had a heart-shaped diamond on the latch. 

The heavy box was filled with a collection of nail polish the girls in your class usually used for their sleepovers as well, and new bottles, mostly varying shades of apple red, started mysteriously appearing the day after Eri said she had never gotten painted her nails before. 

“Yes!” Eri’s eyes sparkle. “Can I please have matchy nails with Hito-nii?”

“Of course, sweetie.” You smile. She was adorable. 

Hitoshi rubs the back of his neck. “You sure you want yours black this time, Eri?”

“Yes!” She huffs stubbornly. “Like dad’s clothes and those things under your eyes!”

“Hey!” He protests. She shares a mischievous look with you and you both giggle, catching the pillow Hitoshi gently throws at you. 

“Oreo wouldn’t treat me like this.” Hitoshi reaches out to ruffle Eri’s hair and she squeals in protest, batting his hand away. 

Eri holds up the oversized panda plushie he was talking about. It was comically bigger than her, and you had to bite back a laugh.

The moment you two spotted it in the claw machine outside Shinsou’s favorite cat cafe near campus, you knew you had to win it to add to her ever growing collection of stuffed animals.

With a grin, you remember the huge sigh of relief Shinsou let out when it finally fell into the chute.

“Duh he wouldn’t ‘cause you’re his twin!”

Hitoshi mock gasps. “Take that back.” And tickles her neck, barely dodging as you throw the pillow he threw earlier back at him. 

“Woah!”

Except much, much harder.

“Don’t worry Eri, I'll protect you!” You grab another nearby pillow and throw it at him, which he easily catches in mid-air with one hand like it was a frisbee.

“Aw.” You pout. Mr. Aizawa was training him a little too good now.

Eri pats your arm to console you. “It’s okay I appre-shee—apree-shee—“

“Appreciate?” You offer, and her face brightens as she nods.

“Appree-shee-ate. You. For trying.” She finishes shyly.

“Aw, thank you Eri. I appreciate you too.” 

Hitoshi’s eyes soften at the sight of you two. 

“What about me?”

You scowl. “You can go duck yourself, Toshi.”

“Love you too.”

Eri suddenly gasps. 

“Dad says that to Uncle Zashi too!”

Despite already knowing the answer, Hitoshi and you turn to look at her suspiciously.

“…Which one?”

As if he knows you’re talking about him, Aizawa yells down the hallway.

“Eri, brats, pizza’s here!”

───────── 

“Can I have another hug?” Hitoshi asks coyly after class one day. 

The bell had just rung, and you roll your eyes at his leaning form on the wall of the almost empty hallway. 

Everyone was leaving for lunch.

Except you two, but that was Hitoshi’s fault.

“I just gave you one!”

“Oh no.” He places a dramatic palm to his forehead. “I think I’m going to pass out because of someone if I don’t get a hug in the next five seconds.”

“Greedy ass.” You sigh, wrapping your arms around his waist. 

He hides a grin, shuffling closer to close the gap between your bodies. 

Hitoshi smells like fresh linen with hints of sunshine, probably from his daily bike ride he took around campus before class started, and the coffee he brewed this morning. 

A sense of comfort settles into your bones as the familiar scent envelopes you, and you breathe it in. 

He softly tucks your head under his chin as you nuzzle your face deeper into his chest, your headache from taking the quiz in Ectoplasm’s class earlier now long gone.

“Did you know that when cats see that it's raining outside a window, they go to another window in the same room to check if it's still raining outside?” Hitoshi randomly whispers.

“I did not know that.” You giggle. His lips feel ticklish on your hair. “Does Celery do that too?”

“All the time.” Hitoshi grins. “I have a video from yesterday’s storm, I’ll show you in the cafeteria.”

“Ooh okay!”

He straightens, and takes your hand, your fingers easily lacing through his as you both start to head in the direction of the dining hall. 

When you trip over nothing, he snorts, already expecting it, and catches your waist before you take a fall that will be difficult for your ego and your knees to recover from.

“Careful,” he says as you clutch onto his school uniform in relief, and you swear that already deep, smooth voice of his drops an octave on purpose, almost sending you to the ground again.

Hitoshi’s thumb is still tracing small circles on the back of your hand as the both of you join the line for the traditional school lunch. You could try a different cuisine tomorrow. On today’s menu was miso seaweed soup with a side of grilled fish and a milk bread roll along with, of course, rice.

You feel a vibration on the side of your leg, and for the umpteenth time this school year you thank UA for adding pockets to the school uniform’s skirts as you slip your phone out. The jellyfish charm Hitoshi got for your birthday last year dangles from your case.

Surprise, surprise, it’s the class group chat.

-forklift uncertified -

it’s barbie bitch 

guysss guess what i sawwww

invisi-girl 

IS IT TODOROKI IN A PINK TUTU

 

pikachew

girl what 

invisi-girl 

u guys don’t get the vision

i saw it in a dream last night

the rock 

nah i get it dude

that would be so manly

ice spice 

I would not be completely opposed to the idea

invisi-girl 

SEE

it’s barbie bitch 

it’s even better >_<

it’s barbie bitch 

hitoshituckingyourhair

behindearwithasoftsmile.png

mochi cheeks

OHMYGOD!?1?2?2

SOCUTEEEEETES

airpods with wires

i saw that

airpods with wires 

can yall not flirt before lunch 

next time i’m gonna throw 

up before i get to eat

sue you 

AWWWW OUR LITTLE BABYS ALL GROWN UP

forensic balls [you]

FUCK U GUYS IM 17

yaomomo

exactly

a Baby :)

forensic balls [you]

yaoyao ur supposed

to be on my side </3

yaomomo 

sorry my love i cannot 

deny the facts </3

pikachew

Nahhh only shinsou can call her that guys ;))))

airpods with wires

wah wah wah

forensic balls [you]

one more word and i’m gonna change the gc name to fornite jiggle physics 

sue you

NO

yaomomo

No thank you

my chemical romance

what a mad banquet of darkness

it’s barbie bitch

babe look me in the

eyes this isn’t like you 

forensic balls [you]

try me. 

pikachew

DO ITTTTTTT

forensic balls [you]

ok just bc u told me to 

i won’t now 

scotch tape 

dayum rip denks

forensic balls [you]

also not my fault u guys 

have early ass birthdays smh

shirt guy

Senior citizen core fr

forensic balls [you]

ily midoriya

shirt guy

ilyt pookie xx 

kazoo-ki

Girl u aint slick

shirt guy

You’re so late omg

pikachew

bro has us on mute

kazoo-ki

shut up dunce face

kazoo-ki

How tf do I change my name

mochi cheeks

LMFAO

wiki-how

Bakugo it is fairly simple. 

wiki-how

First you click on your profile, then your personal settings. 

wiki-how

From there you press “Change Display Name” and you should be able to enter your name of preference. 

kazoo-ki 

K

better than you

Thanks glasses ig

wiki-how

You are very welcome.

kiri the rock

nice one dude!

sue you

wow egotistical much

better than you

You wish yours was as big as mine

pikachew

that’s what he said

it’s barbie bitch

omg it just hit me

it’s barbie bitch

the first person to 

finally get bitches in our class 

it’s barbie bitch

i’m so happy i could cry

pikachew

I GET BITCHES

sue you

yeah over the screen 

we're talking irl

pikachew

leave me and my otome games alone

forensic balls [you]

real 

forensic balls [you]

AND IM NOT DATING HITOSHI

it’s barbie bitch

HITOSHI????????

airpods with wires

first name basis is crazy

forensic balls [you]

fuck i mean *shinsou

scotch tape

y’all smell that

the rock

peeeyew

pikachew

smells like sum bullshiiii

kazoo-ki

Could’ve fooled me

yaomomo

You aren’t??? :(

yaomomo

But I wrote a reminder to wish 

you two happy anniversary and 

even bought tea to celebrate!

forensic balls [you]

….for what date

yaomomo

April 1st :(

forensic balls [you]

………………

airpods with wires  

@ it’s barbie bitch we can see u

across the cafeteria u are BAWLING

eyebags

what the fuck

Hitoshi bites back a laugh as your widened eyes meet his, glancing up from your phone.

“Not dating, huh?” He grins.

You groan and pinch his arm. “I panicked okay! I didn’t know what to tell them.”

“Hmm, do you want me to?”

“I mean, only if you want to.” You shyly play with his fingers. 

“I kind of like us being a secret from them for a little longer. It feels… nice.”

Hitoshi smiles. “I know what you mean.” He wrinkles his nose. “Though they’re so nosy it looks like they figured it out already.”

“Pffft, yeah.” Mina could definitely sniff out a relationship from miles away, no matter how much PDA you tried to sneakily do in empty hallways.

Hitoshi squeezes your hand in reassurance.

“I like it too.” He leans over, and your eyes are forced to meet the dark violet of his.

The side of Hitoshi’s soft-looking lips, courtesy of the strawberry chapstick he stole from you before class this morning, quirk up as he looks down at you with soft eyes, the ones he reserves for you and random cats he sees on the road.

“Chapstick thief,” you mutter.

“Oh, you want it back?” Hitoshi grins. “Kiss it off me then.”

Your cheeks grown warm. “Not here!”

“Good,” He smirks.

“I prefer keeping you all to myself, anyway.”

   ───────── 

“What’s wrong?” 

He’s crouching down so that your eyes have no choice but to meet his from your spot on the bean bag.

He gently pushes the switch in your hands down to your lap and pokes your thigh. You squirm away ticklishly. 

“Tell me.”

“No.” You huff, picking your switch back up. “I just wanna play Stardew, leave me alone.”

“Darling.”

Your face flushes at the pet name, and he smirks. His secret weapon still works without fail. Hitoshi didn’t even need to activate his quirk to have you under his thumb. 

“You’re not going to feel better if you keep it in. Tell me what’s wrong.”

His nails are still pink, you faintly notice, trying to distract yourself from your very attractive, very insistent boyfriend in front of you with his comforting hands placed on your thighs.

You painted his left hand, and Eri painted his right at the last sleepover you had together. She had insisted that he should match nails with her this time, since she matched with him last week.

It was already terrible and impressive that Hitoshi was a people-reader, even worse that he knew what to do to make you fold so easily and open up.

Curse you Hitoshi, you and your disposition for healthy communication.

You should have never recommended that therapist to him.

“I don’t know,” you finally mumble. He tilts his head, showing you that he’s listening. 

“I just feel like I don’t deserve it.”

“Deserve what, sweetheart?” He asks. The softness in his voice is unbearable and what you've been bottling up for weeks finally spills out.

“I feel like I don’t deserve it when good things happen to me.”

Hitoshi blinks, then lets out a snort. Which turns into a full blown laugh coming from his chest.

You shove his face away and he falls on his butt, still chuckling. 

“You’re making fun of me!” You say indignantly.

“Sorry, sorry, I just–” He coughs, and takes a breath to recollect himself. 

“You say a lot of dumb shit and I think that's the worst thing I’ve heard you say.”

You pout. “I’m feeling very invalidated right now.” Hitoshi rolls his eyes, and his hands reclaim their spot on your skin, except this time he’s gently cupping your face in his hands. 

He’s not used to comforting people, but you can see that he’s trying.  

“You’re beautiful,” he whispers, and you inhale sharply. “You’re kind, you’re intelligent, and I see you try so hard everyday. You always do a good job when you set your sights on something. Why don’t you deserve good things?”

“I don’t know.” Your gaze is numbly pinned to the silver chain around his neck, the one with a little crescent moon on it that he wears everyday, not even taking it off when he goes to sleep. The one you gave to him. 

“That’s okay.”

His thumbs caress your cheeks, and you think you can breathe a little easier. 

“Let's think of it this way,” Hitoshi says, still cupping your cheeks, grounding you. “It’s not about whether you deserve it or not. Do you want it?”

You finally meet his eyes, and answer with a voice shakier than you’d like it to be. 

“I do. I want good things for myself.”

“Atta girl,” Hitoshi says with a proud quirk of his lips. 

You stare at him, your heart suspended in your chest, feeling better but still looking a bit unsure.

Hitoshi notices this from the way you start biting the inside of your cheek, and he leans his forehead against yours. You freeze. 

He smells like fruit, like freshly washed blueberries and those ripe strawberries in the kitchen in the dorm’s fridge. “That’s more than enough. We can work from there.”

There’s still a worried furrow between your eyebrows.

“Come on, sweetheart. We can go to the aquarium you love this weekend.”

He smirks as you perk up at that, drinking up the rare, shy expression suddenly on your face again, and leans down to your ear. 

“You’re so easy,” Hitoshi whispers. 

You grumble, you could hear that stupid grin in his voice.

“Sorry, I can't hear you with your face in my chest.”

You raise your head to glare at him and his heart soars. There was his girl.

God, his smug face was starting to irritate you more and more. "I said that if you were my husband I'd poison your tea!" 

“If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

   ───────── 

-thot pockets -

it's barbie bitch

omg guess who i just saw 

cuddling in front of the tv

it's barbie bitch

youwrappedlikeaburritoinhitoshisarms.png

dating allegation #1 

MINA WTF DELETE THAT

dating allegation #1 

WHY R U STALKING US

[dating allegation #2 saved an image]

dating allegation #1 

BRO WHOS SIDE ARE YOU ON

dating allegation #1 

PURPLE MINION LOOKING BITCH

dating allegation #2

ok forensic penis

dating allegation #2

who changed my user

pikachew

me

cuz u guys are NOT beating 

them :laughcry::laughcry:

ice spice

I am just confused as to why 

you two are sitting on each other 

ice spice

When the rest of the couch 

appears to be unoccupied

ice spice

Perhaps this is a new 

procreation method?

mochi cheeks

TODORKIWHATHAHVDHSHA

pikachew

LMDFAOOOOOOOOO

ice spice

? 

dating allegation #1 

WHATTHEFUKC

the rock

never change bro 

sue you

IACTAULKYLCANT BREATHE HELP

it’s barbie bitch

ME NEITEHHR

dating allegation #2

Whenever my eyebags get darker

dating allegation #2

Just know I blame it on all of you

   ───────── 

“Celery?” You mutter, rubbing your bleary eyes. “What are you doing?”

“Mrow.” The cat continues eating the slice of… pizza? On your chest.

It looks like the one that you and Hitoshi ordered earlier after quizzing each other for Present Mic’s exam.

 

“I love you so much but I am so confused.”

You reach for your phone to text Hitoshi, your still-asleep hands fumbling a bit on the nightstand.

toshi <3 [12 hrs ago]

us 

you [12 hrs ago]

literally us <3

toshi <3 [12 hrs ago]

want to order takeout and 

watch ouran highschool after

we study for tmrws exam

you [12 hrs ago]

yes please omg

you [now – 03:24]

hey

can u explain why ur daughter

is eating pizza on my boobs

at 3am

toshi [03:30]

whar

?

toshi [03:31]

OHfMGOD

CELERU

Not even five minutes later, he’s knocking on the door to your room. You open it, and the sight of a very sleepy looking Hitoshi greets you. His already unruly bedhead is even messier than usual and you’re pretty sure he’s wearing his shirt backwards. Did he put it on before coming over? 

Wait.

You blink, long and hard, banishing the thoughts of a groggy, very shirtless Hitoshi lying in his bed, with the light of his phone screen illuminating his handsome features as he replies to your text. Those four hours of sleep must finally be hitting you.

Hitoshi sees you blinking, and takes it as a sign you’re still in shock at the pizza monster in your lap.

He gives an awkward pat to your shoulder in reassurance.

“I think this is just how she shows affection.” Hitoshi stares down at Celery fondly.

The way you stroke her fur so softly makes his chest feel warm and tingly.

“Does she eat leftover pizza off your chest at three in the morning?”

“...No.”

“Hah. She said she likes me better. ” You smirk victoriously. “Isn’t that right sweetie?”

The calico cat purrs as you scratch her ears, a bit of tomato sauce under her chin. Hitoshi exaggeratedly puts his hand over his heart at this scene of betrayal.

“Seriously? Celery, I took you off those streets and raised you like I was the one pregnant with you for nine months.”

“Mrow.” She bumps her head against your hand.

“Pfft, give it up Toshi. It’s time for you to hand over the adoption papers.”

Hitoshi rubs the back of his neck. “Or we could just share custody.”

“What?” Your cheeks grow warm. “You want me to be her mom?”

“I mean you kind of already are. Look at her,” he says, eyes softening as he looks at the two of you. 

Celery has her paw on your arm. After eating until her little tummy was full, she was already starting to doze off.

“She takes after me.”

You let out a derisive snort.

“Yeah you looked just like that after our binge marathon today too."

“Not in that way.”

He smirks at your confused reaction.

“Then what do you mean–”

At that moment, Celery decides it’s the perfect time to snuggle into your tank top, smearing what’s left of the pizza on her face all over it.

Hitoshi’s eyes widen. He laughs, covering his mouth.

You’ve never been so glad you chose to wear black to sleep.

   ───────── 

“Trouble child, you’re here.”

“Hi Mr. Aizawa.” You roll your eyes. “When are you going to stop calling me that, it’s getting old.”

“When you stop getting into trouble.”

“Okay, that’s fair.”

“The kid’s almost ready.” He snorts. “About damn time. Been up since six.”

“He has?” Your eyes widen. “For what?”

Your teacher smirks. “Nerves. Isn’t this his, what, tenth time taking you out though?”

A flustered Hitoshi suddenly appears from behind him with a light pink dusting his cheeks and steers Aizawa back to the door. “O-okay dad that’s enough.” 

He’s cutely dressed in a soft-looking grey cardigan over a white shirt and black wide-legged pants. 

This had to be the most boyfriend he’s looked, ever, and he looked very boyfriend all of the time. 

“Hitoshi?” You do a little twirl for him in your own outfit. “Fire or nah?”

He looks up from his phone, where he’s googling the bus route to the aquarium, except his eyes linger. Without skipping a beat, he responds.

 “Fire.”

“Toshi, you’re staring.”

“Of course I’m staring.” He says it with a tone like 'what else would I be doing?'

You shyly fidget with the edge of your shorts. “Why?”

“Because you’re beautiful.”

Hitoshi reaches out a hand, like he hasn't just casually left you breathless, and his own eyes soften as he notices your starry-eyed look. 

“Let’s go, you crybaby.”

“Damn. I was going to say you look handsome too, but I don’t remember being the one who sobbed my eyes out watching Your Name last night.”

The tips of his ears turn red.

“Shut up.”

“Was like our fifth rewatch too.”

“Shut up before I kiss you.”

"Is that a threat or a promise?"

"Both."

‧₊˚ 🐚 ✩ ₊˚ 🌊 ⊹ 𓇼

Hitoshi’s lips twitch as he sees your eyes light up at the sight of the sign pointing in the jellyfish exhibit’s direction. “You’re adorable.”

“Thanks.” You grin. “You’re slow.”

You take him by the arm, your brain faintly registering how muscular his bicep is despite holding it so many times, and drag him along. 

In their tanks, the glow of the moon jellies fills the darkness in front of them as other visitors murmur around you two in awe. Blue light reflects off the water and through the glass, illuminating your boyfriend’s dreamy features and you can’t help but admire how pretty he looks.

Hitoshi turns from watching the jellyfish to face you, fingers now lacing through yours. You don’t look away. 

A soft smile flickers across his face when he catches you staring at him.

“This reminds me of when we first met.”

You smile. You remember. He was the one Mina relentlessly teased you for staring at, which you completely denied at the time.

“Why’re you so thirsty?” You remember her whispering into your ear at the Sports Festival in your first year. The both of you were sitting in your class’s designated spots in the stands.

Your eyes had widened, scandalized. 

“I am not!”

“Please. You’re totally staring at him.”

“Who?”

“Shinsou Hitoshi.” She grinned. “Cute, right?”

Of course she paid attention when they announced his name specifically. 

You could never remember anyone’s, and she probably saw you looking at his picture for a little too long when it appeared on the Jumbotron’s screen, announcing that his match with Oijiro was about to begin. 

“Not really,” you lied, a bad attempt at feigning disinterest. 

Like your eyes hadn’t been trailing down his lean figure the moment his next match started. 

Or noticing how attractive it was the way he casually folded his arms when he taunted Midoriya, or wondering in your mind if his perpetual bed-head was as soft as it looks. 

Mina turned to you, smirking at your slightly dazed expression.

“Really? Then you wouldn’t mind if I told him you had some questions about his quirk and wanted to talk about it after this, riiight?”

“What?” You shake your head furiously. “I mean his quirk is really interesting but–ugh Mina, no!” 

“For the plot!” She waggled her eyebrows.

You nudged her knee with a huff. “I’m breaking up with you.”

“Nooo, I’m kidding, I’m kidding.” Mina eyed you cheekily. “I won’t call him over.”

“Oh thank god.”

“But only if you admit he’s your type.”

You groan. “Okay fine. I think he’s hot, happy?”

“Very.” Your best friend laughs, pure happiness indeed written all over her face. You can see the matchmaking gears already turning in her head. “I just know you too well, babe.”

You roll your eyes. “Sometimes I really wish you didn’t.”

“Come on, you guys would be so cute together though.” She sighs dreamily. “Forensic sight and mind-control? Plus you’re both hot as fuck? Talk about a power couple.”

“....I think I’m going to go sit with Yaomomo instead.”

Recalling the memory, you laugh. “I know, we kept accidentally making eye contact after your second match because our seats were right across from each other.”

“That awkward prolonged eye contact in the stands might’ve been how I started crushing on you.”

You smirk. “You had a crush on me? That's so embarrassing.”

“I know.” He rolls his eyes, softly tucking a stray hair behind your ear. “Worst decision of my life.”

You hold Hitoshi’s hand tighter as you step closer to his side to get a better view of the tank. 

“Glad the feeling is mutual.” 

You spot it before he does.

“Oh my god Toshi. We need to get this for Eri.”

He spins around from the collection of the aquarium’s official shirts for sale, a shirt with a print of a whale shark in his hands. 

“Wha–oh my god.”

Hitoshi stares at the giant penguin plushie you’re holding in front of you. 

It was bigger than you–no, bigger than him even.

“Not sure if it’s going to fit on the train home, but we’ll make it work.”

   ───────── 

"Can you teach me how to draw a unicorn too, Eri?" Hitoshi asks.

You had already asked Eri before him seconds ago so you stick your tongue out at Hitoshi, mouthing ‘copycat,’ and he tilts his head down to quickly kiss your neck, making you giggle. 

He still has a pink bow wrapped around his bicep from when you three played dress up an hour ago, and you fight the urge to laugh again at how silly he looks.

Eri is too focused on her drawings to care about either of you, and after she scribbles around a little more, she turns to face her older brother.

“Yeah!” She hands him a red crayon. “Okay, so first you draw half of a circle.”

Hitoshi follows Eri’s instructions.

He lifts his hand, which nearly covers the paper, to reveal a red ‘C’ that looks like it got run over by a truck.

“No, no not like that! Erase it.” She frowns disapprovingly, hands on her hips. “You’re really bad at this Hito-nii.”

“Please Eri-sensei. I'm trying my best.”

“Try harder!” She turns away with a huff, then peers over at your paper. 

“Ooh yours looks so good!” Eri claps, and you smile proudly. 

“It’s all thanks to you, Eri.” You reach out to fix her pigtail that was starting to slip out of the cat-patterned scrunchie, and she giggles, holding still for you. 

Hitoshi grumbles. “This smells like favoritism.”

“That’s ‘cause your unicorn looks Celery’s poop!” Eri chirps. Then she runs away to the kitchen right before you double over in laughter at Hitoshi’s extremely offended face, clutching onto his broad shoulders for support. 

“She said your drawing looks like shit!” You snort, and he groans.

Celery’s ears perk up in Hitoshi’s lap and she meows, looking in your direction. You hold out your arms. “Celery, you want uppies?”

She ignores them and decides to sit in your lap instead, purring softly.

“Mrow.”

“Yeah? And then what?” You coo, gently rubbing her fuzzy forehead, and her eyes close in contentment.

She mewls again, pawing at your sock and you laugh.

“Okay, okay I’ll tell him.” 

Looking up at Hitoshi, he tilts his head the same way Celery does when you talk to her. 

You bite back a laugh, you’re not sure who’s the cat in the room at this point.

“What did she say?” He asks you curiously.

All you do is blink slowly at him in response.

Hitoshi’s brows knit in confusion.

Then his eyes widen, a soft pink starting to color his cheeks.

Shyly, he slowly blinks back.

Suddenly, the gray-haired girl comes back from the kitchen, apples Aizawa sliced like rabbits for her on a plate in her hands. 

You’re still slowly blinking at each other as she walks through the door.

Eri looks at the both of you weirdly.

“What are you two doing?”

“Mrow.”

teehee hitoshi’s the pb to ur jelly(fish) get it

[on-leatheredwings]

request: "how dick would handle learning reader is dating somebody?"

Yandere! Dick Grayson / GN! Reader > romantic > tw/cw: possessive thoughts, suggestive thoughts > word count: 660

Dick is 100% going to sabotage it. 

He had been so excited to spend the night with you – even if it is still entirely platonic. A movie with friendly snuggles was better than no movie and no snuggles, right? 

The snacks are classic theater popcorn, sour candies, chips, soda. The theater is your bedroom. A mountain of pillows and blankets are your recliners for the evening. Premium comfort. 

Following the plot of the movie goes out the window once your head drifts sleepily onto his shoulder halfway through the film. Dick tempts fate by reaching his arm around you. He feels jitters when you don’t protest, seemingly agreeable to the contact. You don’t even move once the movie credits start to play. 

It’s a good night so far. A great night.

Then you speak. 

“Oh!” you snap your head to him. Dick does the same, heart jumping with surprise. Snuggling had put him nearly in a tranquilized state. You sit up out of his grasp, and leave him cold and wanting. “You’re always talking about how I should get the house… Well, I forgot to say earlier, but I’m kind of seeing that cute pizza guy I told you about!” 

Dick just stares at you, a smile frozen on his face.

“Oh! That’s awesome!” he says. To his grief, you begin to tell him all about it. “Uh huh. Mm hmm.” he says to your gushing. It was lucky that you were so enamored with your daydreaming that you couldn’t notice his robotic nodding or the displeased glint of his eyes. Dick knew this day may come – you finding someone before he’s ready to pursue you. There are admittedly some things he enjoys about being your friend rather than your lover. Majority of it is feeling like he’s undercover, playing a cat-and-mouse game you aren’t even aware of. But that doesn’t mean you won’t feel attraction to someone else. So Dick has a plan.

The first order of business is making the target of your affection look as incapable as possible. That’s not hard. He is Dick Grayson. He is five-ten and 177 pounds of capable. Most people pale in comparison. He’ljust be a little suggestion, here and there.

“Oh, he’s not treating you to dinner? Well, fuck those stuffy, traditional roles, amirite?” 

“That’s where you had your first date? … He’s really thrifty.” 

“Wait, he volunteers re-socializing homeless abused puppies only once a week? I figured we all make time for it at least every weekday.”

He just needs to plant the seeds of doubt. Give you what people call, ‘the Ick.’ Once you break it off with that guy, surely, you’ll be feeling the temptation of bouncing to someone new. But who…?

That part’s the easy part. (Actually, it’s all pretty easy for him.) Dick will get you to notice just how great he is. He’s charming. And handsome. And rich. And flexible. He just needs to take you out to swim, or skating, or the gym, or the park – anything that would enable him to slide his hands across you. He can already imagine lengthening your arm, putting it gingerly in the right position. He can imagine the sweat beading on your temple. He can imagine your lip bite as you struggle to ignore his chest against your back as he stretches you out.

Dick relaxes, leaning back. He still offers vague commentary in the conversation, but his mind is racing with many other possibilities. Your body. His body. Together.

“But enough about that!” you say finally. “Let’s put on another movie.” Your brow raises cheekily. “Horror movie? And first one to scream owes the other twenty bucks?” 

“I’ll take that bet,” Dick hums. 

At your clear excitement, he feels his cheeks warm. He admires how the blue light of the TV screen reflects in your gorgeous eyes. Maybe he’ll let you win anyway, if only because he loves the look on your face when you do.

[bonefall]

i’m curious- can you explain, from prepping to actual processing and cooking and such, how the clans make sausage? is it really that easy?

SAUSAGES!!!

It's SO easy. The WHOLE process from prep to cooking is essentially 5 steps. Sausage is so old that it predates the historic record. The earliest record of it is from 4,000 BC-- but it's SO simple to make that it's almost a guarantee that any carnivorous society would learn how to make their own.

You don't even need fire. Most types of sausage are made by cooking the meat with heat or smoke, but you can get SALAMI through passive fermentation and air drying. Pepperoni is also in that same category of "dry sausage"! It was an invention of Italian American immigrants modifying sopressatta back in the 1920s.

Sausage is how you can use every last little scrap of meat on an animal, AND preserve it while you're at it. There's a ton of different types of sausages, but what binds them, literally, is that they're meat stuffed in digestive tract. ALL types of meat. The filling can be offal, muscle, or even blood, packed in with varying types of preservatives and spices.

(though in modern sausage production they use don't use natural cases as often, because it's more expensive than artificial collagen casing. that's actually how you can tell right away if you're at a quality pizza place or not-- if your pepperoni "cups" up after it's cooked, it's made with the real stuff. That's caused by the natural casing shrinking because of the heat.)

the TL;DR of making sausage is collect, scrape, soak, stuff, dry. Five simple steps. I am going to create an incredibly detailed walkthrough of it, every little tiny thing, from harvest to mealtime.

Minimum tools needed: a flat rock and a dark place, such as a cave.

Recommended tools: A flat rock, a bird bone with a stick, a cold underground den, fire.

It usually begins when an animal is brought back to camp, though it could even be started right in the field where prey is caught.;

CONTENT WARNING

This post contains discussions of evisceration and unsanitary topics in the context of natural butchery.

We're going to talk about disembowelment and processing animal organs into food. This includes how to open a carcass, and washing out the things that intestines usually contain. There is also an image of sausage casings at various stages of processing, including when it's still raw (but clean) intestine.

I was taught how to clean a deer carcass when I was only a teenager and I've never been squeamish, but everyone's tolerance for this sort of thing is different. It's okay if this isn't something you can handle; just know that the process of sausage making is easy, yet still a work of skill.

Appreciate the effort that goes into making your food! Just remember; there's a reason why they warn you about "finding out how the sausage is made!"

Step 1: Collecting the offal

You might think that because the prey that Clan cats hunt are so small, there would be some animals they can't make sausage from because of it. That's not the case! Bowels are naturally stretchy and will expand when stuffed; even a mouse can make for snack-sized sausages that a cat would enjoy.

(Remember; an entire mouse is approximately 1 meal for a single warrior.)

Removing the intestines is easy to do, requires no fire, and is necessary for avoiding parasites. Even a canon-compliant Clan can, and should, do this as part of their food processing. Canon treats claws like they're small knives and I do too because it's cool as hell, but if your Clan is more tool advanced, you could even allow them to use knives.

That gruesome phrase, "there's more than one way to skin a cat" is EXTREMELY accurate for ALL types of skinning. EVERY hunter and butcher you will meet will have their own method. Here's ONE way to do it, for right after the carcass has been bled dry and skinned;

It is helpful to hang the carcass by the legs, but not required. Especially for a large animal like a hare, this will make gravity your friend in getting the organs out. Clan cats have access to plenty of twine for this; brambles, willowbark, flax, etc.

Cut a "circle" around the anus first, under the tail. You want to keep the whole tract in one piece. If the intestines rupture, it might contaminate the rest of the ENTIRE carcass. This part you cut now will be the back end of the "tube" you're going to pull out.

From the bottom of the "circle," slit carefully down the belly until you hit the bone in the middle of the ribcage. This is tricky. If you go too deep, you'll cut the guts and spill waste everywhere. Don't go deep enough and you won't even get through the membrane. A good mentor would guide their apprentice's paw at this point, showing them how to carefully hook one layer deeper each time and how to angle the claw so they don't cut deeper than they mean to. (NOTE: the sternum is a lot shorter in most four-legged animals than it is in a human. The warrior's cut will be much further down the "chest" of the prey than you think.)

Now, the guts need to be cut from the back of the cavity. This is MESSY, but not tricky. This is the part where an impatient warrior would mess up, start yanking, and puncture the gut. If the animal is hanging, this is MUCH easier as the anus is still "anchored" to the pelvis like a big noodle.

Lastly, reach down and pull the throat up, then and take the whole tract out in one piece! In a very "large" animal like a muntjac or a hare, a more advanced Clan might tie off the colon with string before pulling it out, to avoid making a mess.

That's it! You now have the entire GI tract of an animal, including esophagus, stomach, large intestine, small intestine, and all the extra species-specific organs (like tripe or gizzards) they contain. An experienced butcher can do this whole process in less than a minute on a smaller animal-- and the small intestine of a mouse alone is over a foot long for making into sausages!

(In Clanmew, this "tract" is called a gwussip. It basically means "pile of slightly processed food." It's also used to refer to the dough used to make tunnelbuns in WindClan, and the minced meat that will be used to stuff the sausages later.)

Various types of sausage are made from the stomach down. Haggis is one type of sausage, for example, traditionally made of a sheep's stomach. The esophagus doesn't have the same "stretchiness" that the intestines are known for, and is more often made into a mince and sauteed if it isn't just wasted by being tossed.

BB!ThunderClan in particular likes to let it slow cook in fat and fruit sauce until it's more tender, but still delightfully chewy. It's not enough to fill a warrior up, but it makes a good snack for in between mealtimes. If you're familiar with Mexican cuisine, pig esophagus is prepared as "buche."

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

But, digressing,

Now that you have your intestines, it needs to be turned into casing.

Step 2: Scrape the inner membrane

Intestines are full of fecal matter. We all know this. Especially if you collected it correctly, it's going to be full of unwanted liquid when you first pull it out. Thankfully, it's just a tube and it can be washed.

These organs are made to contain everything icky inside of the gut, protecting the rest of body with its specialized buffer layers; the meat itself is perfectly fine.

The first thing a warrior needs to do is run it through a clean stream of running water, just like rinsing out a reusable straw. They'd be taking care to rub every fold clean, like a raccoon washing stockings in a river. Depending on the species the organ comes from, the culture of the Clan, and the condition of the animal before it was killed, some intestines might smell worse and need to be washed for longer than others.

BB!ShadowClan is different from other Clans in that they will flush it with a mix of vinegar and water to clean intestines. Especially since so much of their territory is stillwater, they're extra concerned with making sure their offal is cleaned. Other Clans find vinegar repulsive. ShadowClan finds other Clans dirty. Other Clans point out that they're the ones that eat literally anything. ShadowClan says they'd be able to stop wasting food if they spent less time whining and more time food processing. Cultural friction ensues.

After it's flushed, the cleaned intestine is turned inside-out. Just like a sock. From there, the inner layer of membrane is scraped off.

A long, flat rock is the best tool for this, or a good bone scraper. I've also heard of people doing this with a knife, so the rock is actually still technically optional for even the most thumbless Clans... but the cats can weave ropes out of grass canonically. They can use a rock.

(meanwhile in the background the bb!cats are playing instruments around a fire, absolutely ignoring canon's inconsistent tech level)

This is what it looks line at each stage of this process. Totally raw intestine looks like the image on the left. When turned inside-out, it resembles the middle. After scraping, it looks like the right.

Now there's just one more step before you officially have casing.

Step 3: Soaking in salt solution.

This is actually the hardest part for a Clan trying to be ecologically accurate. Salt is very rare in most forest environments. If your Clans are set up in a place with a natural salt source (near a beach, or near a geological deposit), you'll have no problems!

But... most Clans would, logically, not be so lucky and need to get creative.

The first option is stealing salt from farmers and hunters. Salt licks are usually left out in large, white blocks for sheep in fields, and deer in the woods. However, BB!Clan cats, except SkyClan, strongly avoid interacting with humans. That includes not approaching the salt licks left out for deer and livestock.

So, traditionally in the Forest Territory, they used the second option: Slowly burning the roots of coltsfoot. Dandelion also works, but will give you much less salt. In the Lake Territory, cats are sent on regular "Salt Patrols" to the ocean, bringing back bags of ocean salt from evaporated water for medicinal and culinary use.

Once that's done, simply toss the intestines in salt water for a few hours. That's it. You now have casing.

Step 4: Stuff the casing with mince.

Mince is just finely shredded meat, mixed with any spices your little kitty heart desires. Humans use a lot of herbal spices such as fennel, but as obligate carnivores, warriors prefer mushrooms which have compounds resembling the taste of meat.

The real secret to stuffing, though, is to make sure EVERYTHING is chilly before you do it. Cold mince is less sticky, keeps its shape better when being handled, and the fat is distributed more evenly in the mix. Sausages made during winter come out better than ones made during summer, for that reason.

Don't overstuff and try to keep it even. You can do it by paw, but it would be MUCH easier with a simple gadget. The earliest sausage stuffing tools we know of were as simple as a funnel and a plunger like this antique;

But since Clan cats are stuffing little animals, they can work with much smaller natural materials. The bones of birds are naturally hollow-- just clean one out, get a stick to push the meat through, and you're making tiny sausages.

And the last, but most important part,

Step 5: Dry it by way of heat and smoke (sausage) or fermentation and air drying (salami).

What you have in your paws before you start this process is, essentially, a little bag of raw meat. Most food preservation can be understood as the simple act of drying. Salt, fire, smoking, wind exposure-- those are all just fancy ways of removing moisture from food.

So generally, the more moisture the technique removes, the longer it will last.

"Fresh" sausages, your bratwurst, cheap hot dogs, bangers, the ones that are JUST made of mince and casing and you're not planning on doing anything else, those get cooked and eaten immediately. These types are actually pretty "recent" historically speaking, because it was a luxury to not be making sausages to store and transport meat.

So to make it last, they will usually be "cured." That means that the mince was mixed with salt before stuffing. Simple as that. Smoked cured sausage is self explanatory once you know what the terms mean-- it's been cured with salt, and then put in a smokehouse to dry.

(side note: curing is also required for smoking, else the conditions inside the sausage become the perfect breeding ground for botulism)

But the thing you're really waiting to hear about is "dry sausage." NO refrigeration required, NO fire needed at any point in the process. Salami specifically is cured, fermented in a dark and humid place, and then air-dried. This process takes only a few days if it's hot, and up to a week if it's cold. There are often starter cultures and sugars (fruits) added to the mince which reduces the "failure" rate, but this can work completely on its own.

Its taste will also vary depending on the cultures of bacteria doing the fermenting-- but that's unironically the kind of thing beyond the scope of this. That's culinary science.

This is where a dedicated "den" for hanging fermenting sausage would be handy. You can make do with a cave, but being able to completely control the environment can be the difference between having food in two days, versus having food in a week. You can even store it while it's fermenting for months if you can control the environment perfectly.

The last step is simply to take it out when it's at the absolutely perfect conditions and stop fermentation. If it ferments ALL the way, it will taste so sour it's inedible.

And that's it.

It's that simple. You hung it up in a cave for a while, and now you have shelf-stable meat that doesn't need to be refrigerated.

The catch; this works best in hotter, sunnier, southern environments, where the post-fermentation process is finished off with air drying. Drying is VERY GOOD because it totally removes the moisture. BB!Clans, in Northwestern England, prefer to finish this off with smoking unless they're doing it in summer and the weather cooperates.

Air drying is better because it typically removes more moisture and makes the sausage hard. Finishing fermentation with smoking causes it to be "semi-dry."

This far north, the days are cloudier, darker, and colder than it is further south, where the most famous dry sausages are made. It's not impossible to make fully dried sausage here, but it's a LOT more precise of an art.

If your Clans are based in the USA, don't worry about that. Dry fermentation is possible everywhere there except Alaska. Even if they're at the very tippy-top north of the continguous 48 states, they are barely higher in latitude than Paris, France. To put what BB's environment is in context, remember that you could walk a straight line across the globe from Liverpool, UK and be somewhere near Edmonton, Canada.

(in fact, dry fermentation can be done easily anywhere it isn't too dry or too cold. RIP Southern Chilean fanclans you will simply have to smoke it just like the Brits.)

And that's sausage. That is an in-depth guide to how salami can be made by Clan cats.

[soapoet]

How they'll confess their feelings

requested by anon.

like & rb if it resonates ♡

01.

Shufflemancy: Hands to myself by Selena Gomez

This energy is very open and inviting. Your person is quite bold, and when they know what they want they show persistence, and adapt quickly to changing winds. They are not fazed by much and can weather any storm. They have a bit of a "won't take no for an answer" type of energy to them, but not the toxic kind. They may appear to you as somebody who doesn't take things seriously, or perhaps they are so direct in their affections and intentions you simply take it as something said in jest rather than the honest truth of their heart, something they'd say to just about anybody and therefore not for you to give much merit. They don't take themselves too seriously and have a very uplifting and lighthearted presence, which can so easily be assumed to go hand in hand with non-committal or even player tendencies. In reality, they simply enjoy keeping things light to assure those around them are having a good time and don't sweat the small things, which very well may stem from a childhood in which they served as a mediator or created distractions during rough times, aiming to always find silver lining to avoid dread and loss of hope in their loved ones. They are nurturing and protective by nature and do, in fact, know when to put their serious face on, and then they surprise all with their dependability and their ability to persevere, always coming out of things unscathed and even striving.

Their confession is direct, but places the ball in your court. They are good at marketing themselves and would make a great salesman by their persistence alone. They are confident, but not cocky, though they play on a little bit of arrogance for entertainment value. I'm hearing things such as "you're going to have to eat today anyway, so might as well get fancy with it", which holds that essence of boldness and persistence that I am picking up on so strongly. They show through actions what they have to offer, and whilst they will take a serious rejection, they're playfully pushy in this way where they don't expect anything other than the chance to treat you to a little something like a dinner and that way show you what they're made of. They certainly appreciate and enjoy a little game of cat and mouse to start with, so any initial reluctance from you that is less like rejection and more like a challenge for them to prove themselves to you is not only welcome but encouraged. They're somewhat traditional, but treat you like an equal. A major goal to them is to allow you to have a good time and not worry about things in their presence. There is a lot of laughter involved here as well, and you'll find yourself charmed by them effortlessly. It may be hard to actually pinpoint where exactly a confession occurred because their pursuit of you is ever-present from the start.

Additional details: new phone, swimming pools, wine, get togethers, stocks, business, airplanes, real estate, steak, gyms, football, wrestling, DJs, white sneakers, movie theatre, necklaces, bouquets, big family, cars/opening car doors, shopping, pranks, instagram, nail salons, entrepreneurship, beaches, pizza, Amazon, cruises, leisure, stand-up comedy, concerts, high-end brands, red, B/D/T/K/J, Libra/Gemini/Cancer/Leo.

02.

Shufflemancy: There till the end by JERUB

Quite jittery, restless energy. Your person is overcome with emotions leading up to this occasion, and the various scenarios they play out in their head trying to find the correct when and where and how make their stomach churn like they're spinning around in a carousel. They want to be bold, but perhaps it would be too risky, so they play it cool, or at least try to, only to find that their approach may actually be much too vague for you to catch on. This person is usually quite open with their emotions and easy to read. To their near and dear they are an open book and they pride themselves in their own ability to read others. They always try to cheer up loved ones and strangers alike, even when they aren't certain what to say or do they try their best. This person always seems to get back on their feet when they're knocked down, and their inner strength may come as a surprise to some because they look rather harmless and have a very bright energy about them, like the sun that so easily could be overcast. It is often said that the brightest smiles are on the faces of those who have known the greatest sorrows, and that appears to ring true with your person. Their optimism is a tool developed for survival, and has gotten them far in life. They often wield this optimism for others too, selflessly rallying behind others and their goals and dreams, and serve as the number one supporter tirelessly and try to make sure nobody feels left out in the cold.

In their attempt to find the balance between delicate and bold, they may find themselves so overcome and frustrated that they simply blurt it out. For some, they may opt for something silly or lighthearted, that is still direct, but does not feel as scary to them. They could confess via a game of hangman, or even write one of those "do you like me? yes/no" notes of bygone playground days and bruised knees. They are endearing, and I see that you two have much in common. There's a strong foundation of friendship, too, which may be their source of unrest as they wish not to ruin what you have. They may very well end up going on a tangent, blabbering on about their feelings nervously to fill the silence so much they don't give you the chance to speak before you shush them and put them at ease with the knowledge that it is mutual and they have no reason to fret and fluster so badly.

Additional details: video games, tabletop games, converse, Fruits basket, Sailor moon, slurpees and milkshakes, youtube, mismatched socks, animals, lofi, indie, grocery stores, parks, band t-shirts, empty playgrounds, bubblegum, mints, cemeteries, mason jars, art, guitars, cotton candy, thrift shops, fishing, bicycles, plushies, scrunchies, friendship bracelets, rodents and birds, small towns, nuggies, venting, Pisces/Leo/Aquarius/Scorpio/Sagittarius,J/V/S/L/N.

03.

Shufflemancy: When we're old by Ieva Zasimauskaitė

Oh dear. This energy feels like a neat and tidy office with loose papers thrown about. What happened here, I could ask, but you did. You happened. This person seemed content in the daily routines, their feet planted on solid ground, until suddenly their foundations were tested by a hurricane. Sweeping in and changing everything, you turned their life upside down. At first they may have been frightened, worried that you will surely be a problem. They could at first wish to solve you like a puzzle, only to find no corner pieces because you are ever-expanding, a fairytale with no end but many twists and turns and many pages still unwritten. They are perplexed, but oh so fascinated. You awaken wonder and awe in them, as though you came in to show them a peek of what's beyond the veil, far away from their mundane, solved, scientific, factual, proven reality. You inspire them, yet your words and ways challenge everything they know. They go through rapid growth triggered by you, and a lot of it not for the faint of heart. They are a rock amidst storms, a lighthouse keeper assuring safe passage for ships at sea, and have never quite known the depths of the sea and the crashing waves that you call home.

If you are observant, which many of you certainly are, you may notice the battles that take place inside their head even when they remain so calm and collected on the outside, and know long before they tell you just how they really feel about you. For many of you, they may find the circumstances iffy, the timing poor and unfortunate, but their feelings are as real and true as they are overwhelming. They experience many sleepless nights, and may argue with themselves, a court case as both the prosecutor and the defendant, whilst you seem to be the judge and jury and hold the key to the inevitable verdict. They may very well need a green light from you, but they will confess their feelings candidly, likely in a place only semi private for the sake of your comfort, thinking you need escape routes as they're convinced what they read off of you is a trick of their own mind and false hope that what they feel is mutual. They are gentle and cautious, try their best not to overstep any real or perceived boundaries between you. Though they hide a romantic behind their exterior, your first talk about something more between you can at first feel like an interview, as they wish to cover their bases and make sure they wouldn't waste your time or you theirs by having different directions and goals in the long-term, because the long-term is what they want. This group is the most likely to see fast engagements and marriage and other such milestones due to this clarity early on.

Additional details: spirituality, churches, meditation, sleep hypnosis or lucid dreaming, tarot, astrology, weddings, moving, soda and energy drinks, nostalgia, piercings and/or tattoos, hiking, travelling, community, helping, third party or recent breakups, to-do lists and planners, glasses, stress, cooking, purple, blue, gyms and sports, metal, journaling, blogs, text messages, tech, Leo/Virgo/Capricorn/Cancer/Pisces, E/T/K/H/A/S.

04.

Shufflemancy: Die for you by The Weeknd

This is very potent energy in comparison to the other piles. It is heavy and deep, almost suffocating but closer to a weighted blanket rather than true smothering. This person feels everything quite deeply and never seems to know how to express themselves or where to even put all these emotions, as though they always find themselves in aisle three struggling to hold all their items and wish they had just grabbed a basket upon entry. Their feelings for you creep in slow and steady like a predator stalking its prey from the tall grass, and before they know it they are met with great fear of abandonment and worry you will be swept up by another, worried that even if you were theirs you could do better. They may very well have history of poor relationships which ended in their demise, leaving their heart broken and full of trust issues. You may not even be aware of their insecurity as they carry themselves with confidence and are at ease with their peers, mix and mingle so effortlessly and appear so carefree. They have a lot of passion and take their work and hobbies very seriously. Their dedication to the things that matter most to them is remarkable and they have tenacity to push onwards regardless of any odds stacked against them, though their energy mostly comes in spurts and they require time to recharge or recompose themselves after all their sudden leaps and efforts. They may confuse you, as their devotion to you as an ally burns so bright, yet they seem to not make any moves to indicate that there is more to it. Perhaps this person is confused too, because for many it is possible that they once chose to not pursue love seriously due to past experiences, yet your presence is so stable and safe they want to so badly take a leap of faith in your direction.

This clash of desire and fear is not easy for them, and they go through a long period of denial from which they constantly find themselves slipping, always saying or doing something more than what your dynamic would call for, acting out the role of a partner out of their ease in your presence, then stepping back and fighting the current that threatens to wash them downstream to unknown territory, only to once again be lulled into this comfort you provide. They catch themselves daydreaming of a proper commited relationship with you often, but just as often they shake their head and wave those thought bubbles away. Their eventual confession is just as tumultuous as the feelings that reside within them. It could occur as a result of a heated argument, or at a time they are convinced you will leave them or hurt them and they simply fail to stop their outburst. Most will put it in a kiss before they put it in words, and there may be a lot of stressful and overwhelming emotions happening all at once for both of you as this strange and quite frankly exhausting push and pull dance reaches ots climax and comes to an end. This revelation fortunately provides instant relief to all this torture as though a kiss and whispered promises serve as morphine.

Additional details: lighters, vinyls, mesh, velvet, Lana Del Rey, Phoebe Bridgers, parties, drinking, shattered glass, bruises and hickeys, astrology and numerology, college, fwb, jealousy, cats, red, d&d, mass effect, social media, tinder, birthdays, plushies and figurines, kdramas, taboo, letters, poetry, reels, LED lights, therapy, pastries, Aries/Scorpio/Capricorn/Virgo, F/B/A/G/D.

05.

Shufflemancy: How you get the girl by Taylor Swift

It may take some time for this person to outright say anything, because their energy is as slow as it is steady. They don't make hasty decisions, and like to take their time to perfect all that they do and say. Despite this meticulous energy, they are quite light and airy. They may be quite critical of themselves, and always strive to do their best and measure up to their own, sometimes near impossible, standards. They are strong and independent, yet may have grown up within a lot of instability, which lead them to solidify into a rock so that turbulent times would not shake them as it did in the past. They have a dominance about them that is neither threatening or demanding. They carry themselves well and do not step on any toes as they go about their life achieving every goal they set for themselves. They try to learn to relax and live a little, and find it easier to do in good company. Their circles may be small and close-knit, as though they wish to keep their life private and managable, quality over quantity. They are incredibly loyal, and though they are difficult to get to know and rarely let down their guard, once you're in, you're truly in, and they would move mountains for you just as they do for everyone they hold close.

They may lack experience or confidence in love, for some they poured all their energy into their studies, careers, hobbies, or other relationships like family and friends, and decided not to force love. With you they feel comfortable and safe and may go out of their way to allocate time to spend with you every day, and they diligently remain at your disposal for anything at all should you need them. The foundation of trust and support they lay down over the course of many months and seasons changed before they dare confess what cards they hold so close to their chest provides promise of longevity and purpose for your relationship. They may confide in their loved ones for advice and encouragement before they come forward. Sitting there shuffling notes, getting up and pacing and wracking their brains for just the right words to say, but in the end their confession is just as light as ever. You may have felt for a long time that the two of you were practically dating, though without the official stamp of exclusivity, and this is what they may allude to in their confession. Words untold always on the tip of their tongue come out gently, but with certainty and with a firm hand for you to grab and hold on to. This occurs in a comfortable routine environment, something safe and predictable. Nothing lavish, nothing big and bold, no fireworks and marching bands. Just amidst your usual day to day, making it somehow unexpected and expected all at once, as though it was inevitable, but still surprising. Their confession may leave you in tears of relief or joy or shock, or a concoction of them all, yet this new chapter feels like freshly baked bread and a good morning text. So simple and sweet and natural in this simple brand of perfection of theirs.

Additional details: classical music, working out, family, wingman, salad, selfcare, psychology, puppies, car problems, 20 questions, countryside, eyeshadow palettes, phone calls or voice memos, LDR, school, lace, divorce, trauma, literature, lgbt+, trains, movie nights, floral, anxiety, politics, medication, doctor's appointments, news, red lipstick, green and beige, nature, baking, giggles, Attack on titan, Leo/Taurus/Libra/Pisces, Y/J/A/E/W.

06.

Shufflemancy: Call my name by Priest

This person will need some encouragement. Some sort of signal that their plane will land safely and is cleared for approach. Their energy is like contained chaos. Their mind is everywhere all at once, yet they appear at peace, relaxed, and so calm on the outside. They aren't surprised by the butterflies in their stomach, but have a tendency to enjoy them while they last without acting upon their feelings. Typically they expect these butterflies to fly away eventually, but it seems with you they've made a permanent home making their heart flutter every day, far beyond the usual expiration date. This surprises them, and makes them a little uneasy. They so often keep to themselves and don't bother others with their feelings or their needs, that they find themselves at a loss when they try to find the right words. Which is peculiar, as they seem to have such a way with them under any other circumstance. Always knowing the right thing to say, providing heartfelt guidance and insight at the drop of a hat when somebody needs it, known by their kindred spirits as both wise and witty. Yet this eloquence becomes a lost artform when it comes to expressing themselves and their feelings, and they feel embarrassed by their tongue-tied stutters and inability to string together a coherent sentence. Perhaps in their youth the key to their survival lied in becoming invisible and minimising their needs and blurring their boundaries. Now they go with the flow of life and may sometimes feel like an intangible being amongst solid mortals with beating hearts that to them sound so loud they couldn't possibly speak loud enough to be heard.

Their approach is careful, like a detective uncovering a crime clue by clue. They plant seeds and nurture them, hoping you will notice the tiny leaves which poke out from the dirt. They have perfected the art of dropping hints, and are looking for a signal that they are allowed and welcome to do and say more. Their pursuit of you can feel like a slowburn persuasion of you to say something first, like they're the puppeteer behind the scenes pulling strings in their favour so that confessing their secrets won't be so scary. You'll come to find the depth of their true feelings shocking. Once their walls come down and they show their vulnerability you will find them so sincere and sweet in their hopes and dreams for the two of you that you may find yourself teary-eyed. They come with the offer of dedication to waking up every day choosing to love you, actively, as a choice, keeping this promise like an oath. It's hard to pinpoint a confession here, as they weave a web, luring you in, coaxing it out of you first, or get close enough to the truth that there can be no doubt in either of you.

Additional details: childhood wounds, cereal, multiple tabs open, mobile games, distractions, true crime of haunted side of youtube/tiktok, horror movies, cold hands, dyed hair, Olivia Rodrigo, kpop, foxes, cats, blue birds, keys and keychains, beanies, venus flytrap, headphones, chips, broccoli, spicy food, books, wikipedia, reddit, ADD/ADHD, flannels, fairy lights, gaming setups, lightsabers, aviation, documentaries, persona games, nighttime, magic, netflix, Gemini/Cancer/Aquarius/Pisces/Sagittarius, K/P/V/Z/M.

[itsabouttimex2]

Can I ask how the lmk characters would react if your childhood cat ran away and I mean that you’re very very very close to the cat.

Because my childhood cat Leo just ran away and I’m having a massive meltdown because of it and crying so much.I already watch one cat die I can’t lose another and your work’s always bring a smile to my face and I really need something to get my mind on something else right now.

(I’m sorry to hear that, dear. Trouble with pets is never fun. I hope things get better.)

Missing Pet Reactions

Sun Wukong, Mei, Sandy

Sun Wukong has never really had a “pet”- but he does have a whole mountain of monkeys ranging in age and disposition. I imagine he understands quite well the panic of one going missing for more than a few minutes.

So he sympathizes. He understands.

And the moment Wukong sees the tears beading in your eyes as you desperately recall the circumstances of your pet going missing? He’s on the move.

Even if the Great Sage didn’t have his Golden Vision ready to track down your pet, he still has the power to create clones en masse. A storm of ginger simians down every street and road, knocking on windows and doors with their bold hands.

The real deal will stay beside you while his clones “shred” the city with haste, taking a moment to calm and shush you with the biggest grin he can manage.

While they search, Wukong encourages you to snack on whatever you'd like in his pantry (though it's nothing but junk food...) to keep your stomach full and settled. He’ll bust out a peach soda for you and settle in with a blanket, and wait out the literal handful of minutes that it takes to his clones to return your pet to you.

Mei has her own way of “tearing” the city apart, mainly through her use of her expansive follower base. All it takes is one text and there’s a few thousand eyes on the streets, looking for your little fur baby.

She’s also personally out on her motorcycle, zipping up and down backroads and busy streets to find your furry friend and bring it home.

The dragon girl is split pretty fifty-fifty between taking you along and leaving you behind, but will lean either direction depending on how hysteric you are. She might just throw you onto the couch and slam the door behind her as she races out, throwing you a credit card and instructing you to order something for dinner.

It’s not that she wants to leave you all alone in this state of distress, but Mei prioritizes your safety above your comfort, as it happens. And besides… if you’re fear-snacking on pizza and soda by the time she gets back (with pet in tow), then the two of you basically get to celebrate together immediately. Win-win!

…she’s absolutely recording the tearful reunion, though.

Oh, no one is going to be more on your side through this than Sandy. His dozen therapy cats? His little Mo? The big blue softy so sympathetic to your plight that he has to fight back a few tears of his own.

Now, I have no doubt that one or two of Sandy’s cats have gotten out here and there, only to be quickly returned by the call of dinner or his frantic pleas- the ex-soldier knows all about luring little wayward pets back home.

Freshly popped tuna cans and cats treats are scattered about the yard and deck, and then Sandy puts out two chairs and a platter of snacks to go with the tea he brews for you.

For this gentle giant, it’s only a matter of waiting- he knows to stay calm, to calm you down, to just… wait.

Out of all three, his plan works the best, just because there’s not a frantic chase or a surplus of noise to make things worse, or to frighten the cat further. In less than an hour, you’ve got your buddy back.

So basically, Sandy has the knowledge + temperament to get your cat back without harm or a pointedly long lapse of time spent futilely looking in the wrong place. 10/10!

[redtsundere-writes]

Imagine:

Sukuna Is The Type Of Dad...

Contents: Fluff, the last one is kinda smut. You are the mom, of course. Mom is a state of mind, not a gender. Word Count: 572 words. Author's Note: So I decided to do something more light and fun to read. I want to do a series so vote for which daddy I should write next!

> Sukuna is the type of dad which would laugh at his child for falling over on their bike, but would help them get up once he notice your death glare from the kitchen window. 

> Sukuna is the type of dad who will give their child permission por going out to a house party even if you already told them they couldn’t go. Later on, he would whisper to you that letting them go would be the best excuse to have some alone time, if you know, you know. 

> Sukuna is the type of dad who would bring pizza every friday just so you don’t have to cook and the kid can have a fun meal. 

> Sukuna is the type of dad who would come home too tired from work to watch a Disney movie, but he will still try to do so, even if he ends up falling asleep and snoring at the beginning of it. 

> Sukuna is the type of dad who would ask “but did you win?” if his child got on a fight in school instead of scolding them. 

> Sukuna is the type of dad who would be very jealous of his little girl boyfriends and he wants to make sure they treat her like a queen. He would even go as far as threat them with a shotgun if they treat them wrong.

> Sukuna is the type of dad who would yell “Come here you little shit!” to their kid if they ever dare to prank him by dropping a water balloon on his head and proceed to chase them around the house.

> Sukuna is the type of dad that would teach bad words to his kid from birth. 

> Sukuna is the type of dad who would be super proud of the fact that his baby first word was “dada”, and would brag it on your face every chance he has. 

> Sukuna is the type of dad who wants the whole family to dress up for halloween in a terrifying costume, but ends up buying Bluey costumes instead because the kids insisted. 

> Sukuna is the type of dad to leave a generous amount of money under their pillow as the toothfairy.

> Sukuna is the type of dad who doesn’t want a cat in the house. Until one day, their kid ends bringing one unexpectedly that they rescue from the street, Sukuna would just let it stay until they find it a home. Little did he know, he would treat it like another kid after he got attached to it. 

> Sukuna is the type of dad who would let his kids colour in his tattoos with water markers. 

> Sukuna is the type of dad who would play tea party with their kid, let them do his makeup and paint his nails pink. He wouldn’t take it off and go to work like that to show off that the pink of his nails matches his hair.

> Sukuna is the type of dad who would fight with their kid for your attention in bed on a Sunday morning, but you end up snuggling with both. 

> Sukuna is the type of dad who wouldn’t be embarrassed to talk to their kid about “the birds & the bees.” He would even use the words “cock,” “pussy,” and “cum” without feeling embarrased. 

> Sukuna is the type of dad who would make sure his kids are well asleep so he can go fuck you without interruptions. 

Order your own fanfic! (Starting price: $5 USD)

Masterlist.

[pinkiemachine]

Cute Little Town Designed by Some Creative People Right Here on the Internet :3

My shop is a bakery called “Heavenly Helpings” where I make the cutest cakes, and brownies, and macarons, and eclairs, and pies, and strudels, and everything always smells like freshly baked bread, frosting, and custard—and there’s an upstairs where I live above the bakery :)

At the top of that street is “Uncle Stubby’s Ammo, Liquor, and Tackle shop XD”

Next door, someone submitted “a bookstore called Good Buddy! A pet friendly store that you bring your pet (well trained of course) and where you can read the buy books of any genre! There is also a small coffee shop inside that sells both great drinks and treats for your pets!”

The shop below mine is, “A guinea pig cafe 🥰 tubes and little hideouts run a long the walls with a lower area where people can pick up, pet, and feed the guinea pigs. These guinea pigs are super friendly and love to get treats 12/7. The outside has windows so people can see some of the tubes inside. The back yard has a huge garden to provide all the vegetables and fruit for them. Up stairs is where the owner and his family live.”

And below that, “My shop would be a craft/coffee shop😋 Lots of windows and twinkly lights, and the shop’s colors would be sage green, coral pink, and cream! (Basically colorful but peaceful 😌) It would have all kinds of craft supplies (clay, paint, paper, and chargers for Apple Pencils), and the drinks served could be named after artists and famous paintings! I don’t have a lot of good ideas for a fun name, so I’ll go with Crafts n’ Coffee for now (but that can change)”

Finally, there’s the World’s Market, where you can buy all sorts of things from around the world!

On the other side of the street, we have a gas station for blimps called, “The Descent Diesel”

And below that, “NICKNACKS AND DOODADS!! An antique place where you can find nicknacks, doodads, and trinkets. Ranging from very very tiny things to very LARGE. Ancients, antiques, modern, magical, you name it! Items can be bought or traded. Run by a very organized cat :D bro is not very forgiving if you make the place crash and burn.”

And below that, “A little magical musical theatre. There is a legend that the theatre is haunted by the ghost of an opera singer who never finished her song in one play, so now she sings it every night when the theatre is empty. She's not scary at all though and some people say she helped them find their way back home on very foggy nights. By day, the theatre is a very warm place where everyone feels welcome. Outside it looks a bit like a miniature gothic castle, but its walls are covered with warm, happy posters. It's close to the river and the owner of the theatre is a great friend of the otters from the river that come to the theatre sometimes. There are a lot of flowers in the windows that are not covered with posters.”

Beneath that is the cinema! “I only ever have the good stuff playing in my theater, the bad stuff can premiere in some other theater. Concessions offers popcorn and candy and pizza and hamburgers and spaghetti-- Because why not? And I sell plushies of the movies currently playing. I do annual film festivals to showcase the creations of local movie makers, their film gets to play for a couple of weeks (*and of course they recieve the profits from the ticket sales*).”

Ending with a VHS store :)

[khaire-traveler]

🌾 Subtle Tyche Worship 🪙

Eat fruit or vegetables; eat something naturally grown

Hold onto a coin that you consider lucky

Get a ball, for any purpose - stress ball, decorative ball, sports ball, any ball will do

Get a candle that reminds you of her (no altar needed)

Keep a picture of her in your wallet

Wear jewelry that reminds you of her

Try veiling

Carry a good luck pocket charm

Working on things that will benefit your future; editing a work resume, looking into further education, planning the outline for a book you want to write, etc.

Have imagery of wheat, cornucopias, wings, a ball, ship rudders, a mural crown, strings/weaving, coins, or anything you associate with good luck around

Have a stuffed animal of any creature you associate with good luck

Play with dice; collect dice (✨ dice goblins encouraged ✨)

Be generous to others, especially those in a tough spot

Collect coins you think are cool; old coins, coins from other countries, coins given to you on an important day of your life, etc.

Try to participate in a competition or contest; do something competitive

Support homeless shelters, humanitarian organizations, or animal shelters

Donate supplies to homeless shelters; hygiene kits tend to be in high demand

Be patient with and kind to yourself when things don't go the way you planned

Research coping skills for stress or disappointment; try to implement them when such situations arise

Learn to go with the flow of life; release control when needed; don't borrow grief from the future

Cook a warm meal from someone in need

Reach out for help during your times of need; don't be afraid to rely on the kindness of others; don't be too proud to accept offered help

Dance/sing to music that makes you feel happy, expressive, or empowered

Treat yourself with the same love and compassion that you give to others

Find reasons to smile/laugh throughout your day; look for the little things that you enjoy

Spend time with your loved ones

Make a small list of things that you're grateful for, they don't have to be big things; grateful that you have a cozy blanket, a stuffed animal, shoes on your feet, etc.

Engage in random acts of kindness; paying for the meal of the person behind you, holding the door for someone, returning an item someone dropped, etc.

Try to focus on lifting others - including yourself - up; be kind, provide words of encouragement, give emotional support when able, etc.

Try not to engage in gossip too much; such things can unjustly ruin a person's reputation

Cook yourself a homemade meal if able; eat a comfort food; treat yourself to a lovely dinner

Encourage yourself before an important event; giving yourself compliments before a date, motivating yourself before a presentation, etc.

Leave a generous tip for service industry workers; pizza delivery, waiters, artists, etc.

Support small businesses

Feed neighborhood dogs, cats, birds, etc.

Buy or make a gift for a loved one

Send a random kind message to a loved one

Play with your pets; spend time with them

Get a lucky piece of clothing or jewelry (I have a lucky pair of socks, for example)

Place a good luck charm at the entrance of your room or home

Handmake your own bread; bake something by hand

Hand out cookies, pastries, etc. to your neighbors (please double-check allergies first)

Give any kids in your life a gift; a new toy, candy, cool jewelry, a video game, etc.

Wear an outfit that makes you feel good and confident; doll yourself up simply for yourself

Try something new; do something with a calculated risk

-

I'll likely add more in the future, but for now, this is my list of discreet ways to worship Tyche. I felt like I had a lot of ideas for her, so I kind of had to stop myself from writing too much. 😂 I hope someone finds this helpful and enjoys these suggestions. Take care, everyone, and may fortune be in your favor! 💚

Link to Subtle Worship Master list

[ifearzombies]

The Little ‘I Love You’s

Lucifer:

- Wakes you up early so you can have quiet moments alone with tea or coffee and food that Beel won’t have a chance to steal. - Brings you little things back from the human world when he goes. While he knows you want to stay where you are, he knows humans miss ‘home’ too. - Steals a smooch when no one else is looking.

Mammon:

- Steals from you less than anyone else. He can’t help his nature, but he avoids your room for items to steal as much as he can - On days you’re feeling down, he will interject and tell you that you’re doing something. He never tells you why, but it’s clearly to distract you. - Nights when you have nightmares he is always the one that hears you and comes to cuddle you and hold you. You don’t know how he always knows, but you’re glad all the same.

Leviathan:

- He’ll wait for you for the latest episode of whatever “has too long a title” anime he’s been passionate about. Fantasy is an experience, and it should be shared. - He makes you outfits you see in the shows you say you like. They’re made just for you- your size and shape despite him not having ever measured you. - His snack and ramen rations now include some of your favorites so that the next time Beel destroys the kitchen, you can come to him.

Satan: - He cleans his room on the nights you want to spend in his bed. Well. He makes a path and clears off the bed- but you can at least walk through the room and use the bed with him. - He has a shelf with just books he thinks you’ll like based on what you’ve told him. A mini library in his room for your quiet night time moments where you cuddle and read. - Like Lucifer he steals smooches when no one is looking. You will never tell him of this shared habit of theirs. Asmodeus: - He paints your nails and brushes your hair while he tells you how beautiful you are inside and out. He’s more complimentary when you’ve had a bad day - You are allowed to use his bath, even if you do not want him to join you. - He tucks a flower in your hair every chance he gets. Beelzebub: - He saved you a snack from his snack bag. He heard you mention you were craving it and wants to share it with you. - He carries you every chance he gets and uses that as an excuse to give you affectionate nuzzles. - He lets you climb him like a tree to sit on his shoulders to reach stuff and holds you steady. Belphegor: - He will go to demon form just to wrap his tail around you while you cuddle. - Invite you to the attic for what he and Beel call ‘Sandwich Cuddles’ and when you do, you get to use his favorite pillow - He makes it a point to drink stuff with high amounts of caffeine when you have plans to stay awake just for you. -------------------------------------------------------- MC: - On days Lucifer runs himself ragged and it’s his turn to cook, you message the household and say you feel like cooking. Lucifer knows why you do it and says a secret thank you once the meal is over. - You know Mammon can’t help but steal. You have a place in your room that you know Mammon looks through. You put some money in there whenever you see it empty. Mammon knows you do this and never steals from anywhere else in the room. - You show up for your anime-fest with pizza and drinks and bring your futon mattress so you can cuddle on it while you enjoy the fantasy anime together. - You bring a new mystery book with you every time you spend the night with Satan. You haven’t clued him in that Cat Mystery is a genre of mystery novels yet, but with each one you bring, he’s started to catch on. He’s eager for the next one. - You treat Asmo to a spa day and get facials and massages with him. You tell him that maintaining his beauty is a lot of work and he’s SO GLAD someone finally sees that!

- Beel is an easy man to please. The way to his heart is quite literally his stomach. It takes days of planning, but Beel always loves when you do a feast day and spend an entire day cooking to make enough food to make him full. He’s cried literal tears of happiness over it. It can only be done once a month, but the absolute pure joy in his eyes is worth it.

- You hold Belphie and tell him. He struggles so much with thinking you could never forgive him for literally killing you. But you hold him and tell him you love him. You run a hand through his hair and tell him you forgive him. And when he says he doesn’t deserve it, you remind him that forgiveness is a gift. And you gave it to him a long time ago.

[sunnyskiestls]

Raika Hojo - Idol Story 1

(Two years after ES’ establishment. At a park near ES’ building)

Raika: Toryaa~☆

Ahem, it’s time to get tonight’s dinner, thaaank you ♪

W-What? Is that– A human…?

I’msorryI’msorryI’msorry–! I made a mistake. I was clumsily trying to capture something edible, like a pigeon, a cat, or even a dog– Not a human.

So with that being said, I’ll let onee-san go. I apologize deeply for the inconvenience~♪

Hmhm, oh, my stomach feels like it’s eating itself, it’s so empty… What should I do, I used up all of my remaining energy on attempting to capture my prey…

M– Mm, my stomach is too… Empty… I can’t move… Gh.

Hhm…? Eh… Candies? And you’re giving them to me?

Raika: I’m so very grateful! Wasshoi, wasshoi![1] Onee-san is truly a goddess~♪

Lick, lick ♪ Rooolling my tongue around it ♪ Eheee, it’s so sweeeet… ♪

But, what should I do? I have nothing to offer you to express my gratitude.

I was taught at the “facility”[2] to always return the kindness shown to me by others.

Nnh. For now, may I ask to know your name? I’ll remember it for later, to make it easier to repay the favor.

Uhum, Anzu? Anzu-oneesan, is that right? Okay, got it!

But I’m such a bird-brained type of person that I’d forget it after walking only three steps, so I’ll need to make a memo of it somewh–

H-hmhm?

Eh? Ahh, I should have told you my name first, shouldn’t I? Please excuse my flagrant disrespect! ♪

I am Raika Hojo, and I’m nothing more than filthy and stingy.

Ehhh, it sounds like “a dirty thief”? And that’s– That’s suspicious, is it…?

About that… That’s strange, here I thought I could disguise myself quite well.

Eh? My wording is a little strange, you say? Is that so? Really, really~?

Nn? You say, that aside, if I’m hungry, you’ll buy me a treat from the convenience store… Huh?

Eh, eh?! I’m wary when people are overly kind to me, as it’s strange, so…?

C- Certainly you don’t intend to capture and sell me off…?

Raika: I heard from Grandpa Sakuma once that, a long time ago, there was a place where people like me were captured and shown off…?

That’s not the case? You say you’ve heard about me through ES’ information?

Hahaaa~ And because Anzu-oneesan is a producer— She wants to be kind to me, as I’m an idol?

So that’s the case. Good, good… Well then, I shall take your word for it, ehehe~ And it’ll be a nice treat! ♪

Raika: Onee-san, onee-san, those steamed meat buns are really piquing my interest.

Look, they’re so warm, so soft, sooo fluffy… ♪

Ah but, I’m also interested in this pizza bun here. Is it pizza, or is it a bun? The mystery only deepens.

“If you’re interested in both, you can buy both”?

Thank you so very kindly, thank you! ♪

Uuuu… I feel like bursting into tears. This is the first time anyone has ever treated me with such kindness–

Nn?

What’s wrong, Anzu-oneesan? Your face seems devoid of color now…?

Ehhh? You’ve lost your wallet? “I can’t buy meat buns without money”, really…?

Ah! Is it possible, your wallet— Is it this one?

Raika: Ehehe. Good, so it was Anzu-oneesan’s wallet after all then, that’s a relief.

Now, you have the means to buy those meat buns! Those meat buns that I’ve been longing to enjoy for myself… (Drooling)

…? Eh, you want to know where I found this wallet?

“Did you pick it up somewhere?” I stole it from Anzu-oneesan’s pocket earlier, when we bumped into one another!

…? …? Eh, what? What’s with that look on your face? Are you angry?

Well, come to think of it, I was taught at the “facility” that it was a crime to steal others’ belongings, so…?

I- I’m so terribly sorry for this disrespect! I’ve returned your kindness with such a cruel gesture! A- Are you angry with me, Anzu-oneesan…?

Could it be that you’re no longer in the mood to be kind to someone like me…?

Eh? You say your wallet feels strangely swollen now?

Raika: Ahh, well I know that stealing is wrong. I thought I could cancel out the “bad thing” I did by doing a “good thing” that would outweigh it!

I decided to increase the contents of your wallet! ♪

So then, will this truly cancel out my stealing? Onee-san, you don’t hate me, do you…?

Ehehe. So then, as long as I promise that I won’t steal again, Anzu-oneesan will buy me the steamed meat buns that I want, as promised— Really?

Wowww ♪ I’m so happy, onee-san has such a strong sense of duty, doesn’t she?

Gh– hyaaaaaaaaaaaa?!

Kyuu… Please, don’t shout so suddenly! It’s startling…!

Eh? Centipedes, pill bugs, and bee larvae are spilling out of your wallet…?

Yes! That’s what I said, I increased the contents of your wallet!

I didn’t say that I made you more money, right?

Raika: Eh? No good? S- Seems like it’s rather easy to anger Anzu-oneesan…?

📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚📚

> [1] Wasshoi is similar to most English phrases of joyous exclamation, but none of them felt quite right to me. Feel free to interpret as anything from "woo-hoo" to "yippee"

> [2] "Facility" in this case is really only part of a word. The kanji used often refers to care homes for the elderly and similar such things, and can also be used in some spellings of orphanage. Raika is suggested to be adoptively related to the Sakuma family in this story, through context clues.

Thank you for reading!

[twinksrepository]

A Valentine's Day treat. Well more like night after

Rating: 18+ Minors DNI

Pairing: Dante X F!Reader

CW: Food play, P in V sex, teasing, bad puns

Word count: Roughly 3K 

A/N: It's been a few months since you started dating the silly pizza man, and fail to keep that on the down low when it's Valentine's Day and one of your co-workers pesters you about dating the man but being at work. Good thing Lady is giving Dante a hard time as well. Well maybe after your shift you can find a way to have some fun with your boyfriend. 

The third of my Valentine’s Day fics.

Quirking your nose as you scrawl out the last of your notes before handing them off for entry in the system you let out a long exhale. It’s not even ten pm and you’ve already dealt with four accidentally swallowed rings, three broken noses, and two stabbings. The stabbings were a little normal for the emergency department but the rings weren’t. 

“I don’t understand why people just can’t propose like normal people, why do they put it in food Doctor?” You snort shaking your head as one of the orderies rubs at her temple. 

“People want to be different, if they knew how often people miss the ring dropped in their champagne glass because of nerves they might try something else.” Signing your name before looking at the next person on the triage list and reading what happened. “Like this person. They tried chocolate mousse, I’ll give them a point for originality.”

“Me. Hey Doc?” Letting out a hum as you double check to make sure you don't hand anyone higher up on the priority list to check with. “How come you're here tonight and not out with that man of yours?” 

You feel your nose quirking again. “Which man would that be?” Attempting to avoid eye contact as you do know exactly who they're talking about. Your silly pizza loving man with a knack for killing the demonic, even if most people think he's just a regular handy man of sorts. 

“Funny. That broad shoulders white haired fella. Damien or something.” 

“Dante” you wince as the correction slips from your mouth with ease. 

“Him!” Grinning like the cat that ate the canary at catching you. “Come on, I've seen the two of you out around town. He's a hottie. Why aren't you out with him instead of in here dealing with the chaos of proposals gone wrong?” 

You laugh hearing how the night in the ER has been going so far it sounds about right. “He's working tonight, besides I'd rather cover this night over New Year's and the Fourth of July anytime.” Winking before you head down the hallway with your clipboard, hoping this couple is a lot calmer than the last. 

“Explain how I'm a bad boyfriend!” Dante was pissed as he swung the rebellion slicing one of the lizard like demons in half sending Lady a look of bewilderment. 

“If you were a good one I wouldn't have to explain it.” Snarking back as she unloaded a few rounds into her own quarry before shaking her head at him. “You really are terrible with women, at this rate the pretty little doctor is gonna leave you. Working on Valentine's Day.” 

“It's just a sappy day to give chocolates, if she wants to leave me over that then fine!” Slicing another demon and dodging having a set of talons driven through his back. As much as he said that the smaller voice I'm his head was screaming. No. It wasn't fine. She was his and it didn't matter what day it was he should be balls deep in her, making sure she smelt of him and sex. 

“You really are an idiot.”

“Whatever Lady. Are we finishing this job you asked for my help for or not?” He'd rather focus on a fight than the way his pants were growing tighter. Damn libido.

As you left the hospital that morning, well 3 am, you couldn’t help but swing into the nearest 24 hour store to grab a few grocery items for yourself and saw a few items that made you smirk. A package of chocolate dipped and plain strawberries, grabbing them before heading to the devil may cry office with a can of whipped cream and a terrible plan. 

Trying the door to find it unlocked and slinking inside, a good sign that Dante is home otherwise you would have had to try and dig through your bag for the spare key he’d given you. “Dante!” If the lights in the main office hadn’t of been on you wouldn’t have called out, but if it is on then it’s a good sign your handsome man is still awake. 

“Backroom Babe!” Well, that answers that, heading towards the door that hides a short hallway ending in a minuscule kitchen. The main level of the office doesn't have much besides the front area itself which takes up the bulk of the floor space, there is a second bathroom that you’re certain before you entered his life was the only one Dante used. Well used being an operative word. 

Stepping into the space and finding the white haired man holding a small glass filled with amber liquid. “That kind of night huh?” You snort laying your paper bag of goodies on the the tiny counter before dropping your overnight bag to the floor and approaching him. 

“Any night that involves Lady is one of those kind of nights.” Rolling his eyes before taking a sip of the drink and setting his eyes on you. “Didn't think I'd see you this early, thought you were working the ER tonight?” 

“I was.” Lifting your arms to drop them over his broad neck and play with some of the longer white hairs at the back of his head and leaning closer. His jacket is draped over the chair you suspect would snap if anyone sat in it so your arms are able to rest more against him instead of the leather. “My shift finished about an hour ago and I didn't have a lot of paperwork to do. How was your night?” 

Raising his drink between your bodies you watch him quirk a brow as if surprised you asked “Shit so far. Now that you're here though.” Hooking two of his fingers in one of the belt loops of your pants and tugging you a little closer to him. “It seems to be getting better.” 

Tossing the rest of his drink back before sliding the empty glass behind him and dropping his hand on your hip you get the hint and push up on your toes as he leans closer to you. Only for your senses to be flooded by the smell of rancid copper and things you'd rather not think about. Sharply pulling away from him. “You smell like ass” Waving your hand in front of your nose as you screw up your face at him.

“I got home maybe ten minutes before you walked in!” His tone is haughty as he lifts his hands exasperated by your reaction, and for a moment you're distracted by the shift of his shirt and the hint of pale skin. 

“You need a shower if you want a kiss.” Shaking your head at him and hiding that you had been distracted by his body. “Or the other treat I have for you.” You might be annoyed that his first thought was a drink before getting cleaned but his lifestyle wasn't focused on getting the grim off his body right away for the longest time. 

Hearing you mention a treat, however, has his mood shifting and a smirk on his handsome face “A treat huh? Do I get a hint?” Wiggling his eyebrows as his gaze roves over your body, making you flush in response. 

“I don't wanna ruin the surprise but let's say trying something new.” Giving him a wink as he grabs his coat and starts to walk past you. “Only clean good little boys are going to get it though.” 

Roaring with laughter as he turns on his feet facing you as he walks away. “Guess I'm outta luck. Even with a shower, I'm zero outta three on that list.” Dropping his hand to his crotch just before stepping out of sight. “Especially the little part.” 

You can't help but laugh as he slips away, waiting until you hear either the water running from the downstairs bathroom or the creek of the stairs as he heads to the upper level. It's the creaking of the stairs that you hear, grinning as you wait another moment before placing your food for tomorrow in the fridge. At least you don't have to worry about something trying to crawl out of the neglected device. This time. 

Keeping the strawberries and whipped cream with you as you headed out to the main part of the office once more, checking the main door was locked before taking the stairs. It was more for your own peace of mind than anything else, if something wanted to go after Dante a metal bolt wasn't going to stop it. 

Hearing the shower run as you reach the top of the landing you slow, pondering for a moment if you should join him or just jump into your own little surprise. You did have a quick shower before you left work because you hated the smell of the antiseptic on your skin, but the idea of rubbing your hands over his wet chest are hard to ignore. Giving your head a shake you keep walking, if you don't commit to what you have planned you'll never try it, and Dante likes surprises in the bedroom. 

Leaning across the bedspread as you hear the sound of his footsteps you grin to yourself before swallowing to try and settle your face. As the door swings open you try to get your expression sorted out so you aren’t a blushing mess, trying to aim for sultry. 

Dante has a towel thrown over his head missing your expression and one slung around his waist, except he has the size of them backward. The larger one over his head and the smaller struggling to remain tied around his waist with how thick his thighs are and your little plan to try and seduce him fails as your jaw drops a little. “Maybe it’s me who’s getting the treat instead of you. Big boy.” Tacking on the last word to get him to lift his head. 

At least your little plan worked as his composure snaps for a moment as he stares at you, his eyes following the trail of whipped cream along the lines of your stomach from your covered core up to your tits. “Babe.” A hard swallow and it’s clear as the towel around his hips flutters from something hidden underneath that he’s getting aroused. “Are those strawberries on your tits?” 

“I figured since it was too late to get you a sundae I’d try and be one instead.” Trailing an index finger along part of your stomach and scooping some of the cream up before sticking the digit in your mouth and sucking on it hard enough to hollow your cheeks. That towel around his waist stood no chance as his cock hardens and sticks up from the edge, raising the fabric as if his dick is peeking out at you. “Sorry, but it’s the best I could do on such short notice.” 

Using one of his hands to pull the towel from around his shoulders and letting it drop to the floor with a wet smack your covered core throbs. His eyes are wild and you can see his neck flexing as his jaw works. Too bad all his attempts are undone by the way his length keeps twitching as it arches from between his legs. “I don’t see any ice cream unless you’re hiding it under that pretty body of yours.” 

Striding closer before he stops. Dante is far from unobservant and the man has noticed your own gaze keeps landing between his legs. “For some reason, I don’t think you have any for me. Not with the way your eyes keep looking at this fine display.” With a snap of his fingers, the towel is gone and you can’t help the little noise of satisfaction you let out at his naked body. He’s fit and knows it, surprising with his terrible diet, but you can’t get enough of it. 

“You’re right. I wanted some meat tonight.” Winking at him before spreading your legs, showing him the damp spot on your underwear. “I think you should come get your dessert before it gets too warm though.” Adding a small whine at the end as you want to feel his skin against yours, or his tongue. Really he can remove the fruit and cream covering your torso anyway he wants to. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t cover your pussy in cream too.” Snorting as he closes the final distance and you feel his bed dip as he joins you. 

“I might be willing to try food play but I am not having anything go in my pussy that isn’t sanitized.” 

“Sorry Doc, I gotta call you out on that one.” Running one of his large hands along your thigh before snapping your underwear with his finger. “My tongue and fingers go in there all the time.” You roll your eyes and reach a hand out to try and get him to pay more attention to your body. 

“Funny Dante. Honestly though. Do you want to lick or help me clean this up? The cream really is starting to run.” A chuckle before he moves, throwing a leg over your body and settling so he straddles your form, sliding down a little as his hands come to rest beside your body. 

“I think I can help with that problem.” Lowering his head to where the cream is starting to run just below your naval and licking a wide strip along the stream of white painted on your body. Right away you moan, the heat from his tongue chasing the chill that was seeping into your skin has you shuddering. “I’d have rathered lick at another cream though.” Lapping his tongue up your body and following the trail up your belly, all the while your hands are roaming across his back. It’s hard to stay still under him as you react to his closeness, your muscles shifting in delight at the texture of his tongue, and the way his breath fans out across your tummy. Rubbing your thighs together the slightest amount as you grow wetter the closer his head gets to one of your breasts. 

Almost there and your clit throbs and your body tenses. 

Laughing when he shoves his face between both of your boobs, covering the sides of his face in the cream before looking up at you. “Wanna taste my cream now?” Wiggling his eyebrows and you aren’t sure where the cream ends and his hair starts. 

“You’re so cheesy Dante.” 

“No. But I can go get some spray cheese if you’d rather lick that up.” Shuffling and grabbing one of the strawberries to pop in his mouth before dipping his face towards yours. As his lips connect with yours you don’t bother trying to respond to him verbally, instead letting one hand slide up along the muscles of his back and tangling in his hair. Parting your lips and moaning into him as his tongue darts out to lick the inside of your mouth, tasting some of the cream and strawberry juice on him. It isn’t a long kiss as he pulls away and grabs the other strawberry, holding it to your lips and offering it to you. 

“I ate two chocolate covered ones earlier. Those two were for you.” Smirking up at him as he rolls his eyes, tossing it in his mouth before reaching for the floor to grab the towel and wipe the cream off his face and one of your tits.

“I’ll remember that for next time.” Going in for another quick kiss making you gasp as he rolls his hips against yours, certain you could feel some of the fluid dripping from his tip smear against your belly. “Now to clean up this remaining mess the way you wanted.” The movement of his tongue is different this time, short quick swipes as he works his way up around to the tip of your nipple. Understanding why he cleaned the other off as he starts to circle his rough thumb against the hard nub, an involuntary roll of your hips as you sigh. The burning in your core grows hotter under his touch. 

Another whine as he ignores the tip of the nipple under his mouth, his lips kissing the edge of the skin now instead of lapping at it as if it’s some sort of divine nectar instead of cheap whipped cream from a can. A few more rolls of your hips as you try to edge him on, wanting more from the white haired man however he is having none of it. 

“Seems like this was more a treat for you than me.” The hand that had been massaging your other tit is now at your hip keeping you from moving while he leans more of his weight on the arm he has resting beside you as he licks everywhere but the point of your breast. Making low grunts and groans as he laps at your skin, tilting his head to make eye contact, and once he does he sends you a look that you can only describe as sinful. 

“Dante, please. No more teasing.” Doing your best to plead with him as your body thrums, you want him and you’ll do anything at this point to get it. “It was just a silly idea.” 

“Lucky for you.” Dipping his head and flicking the hard flesh with his tongue at last. “I like silly.” The hand at your hip pushing your underwear to the side and pushing his way inside your tight heat, while at the same time sucking on your tit like it’s the last thing he’s going to do. 

Your reaction is immediate as you scream his name, your back arching and pressing your chest more into his mouth as you cum around his tip that’s barely part way inside of you. His fingers circle your clit while keeping the thin fabric that divided your bodies away from your core as he works more of himself into you, trying to drag out your orgasm as long as he can. 

Growling as you respond, dragging your fingers down his shoulders and trying to press more of his body down to yours lost in the sensation before you’re panting from the overstimulation. Dante stops the movement of his fingers and lifts his head from your now abused breast, smirking at the indent of his teeth in your supple skin and the bruise forming there. Once you calm down he’ll rip those panties off your hips and fuck you for real. For now, he’s content feeling the tremors of your walls along his length while you recover from your first release of the night. 

“Guess I’m not that bad of a boyfriend after all.” 

[icycoldninja]

Dantes reaction to fem reader bringing home a cat?

Yes! Here it is! Extra fluffy!

Owning a cat headcannons (Dante x Reader)

-You bought a cute and cuddly looking cat, aiming to surprise Dante with it.

-You took it home and hid it behind your back before shouting for Dante to come to you.

-He showed up quickly, wondering what you needed. When you brought out the cat, his eyes lit up with joy.

-He squealed--yes, the man actually squealed, and gingerly scooped up the kitty from your hand.

-He cradled it like a father would a newborn baby, tickling the cat's stomach and running his fingers through its fur.

-He loves this little fur ball and begs you to take him to the pet store so he can pick out furniture and toys for the cat.

-"You like that one? Of course ya do, cute lil' kitty, you're like me. Got good taste."

-The cat's name is now Pepperoni, and there's nothing you can do about it because that name's been printed on it's adoption certificate.

-Treats the cat like he would his own child, even baby talks to it.

-"Good morning, lil' Pepporoni!"

"Meow."

"Want some breakfast?"

"Meow."

"Alright! Let's see...I got some leftover pizza from last night. Sound good?"

"Meow."

"YEAH!"

-Honestly, getting a cat was one of the best decisions you ever made. He frigging loves it.

[goatcheesecak3]

Halloween headcanons 🎃🦇🕸🕷

Going thru a few of devon's characters and guessing what they'd be getting up to on Halloween

#1 Adam

He's most likely taking you to some frat party, nothing too special, but he does dress up - well kinda. He puts a little fake blood around his mouth, says he's a vampire and calls it a day. Halloween is more about the parties than the spooks for him.

#2 Freddy Klein

Halloween is a business opportunity for him, knowing that parents are gonna be taking their kids trick or treating, he organises a few spooky games and refreshment to try and get their attention to the dealership. You help the kids play games like bobbing for apples, while Freddy tries to sell cars to their parents. Once the night is over, the two of you celebrate some successful sales wrapped up on the sofa with a couple of beers.

#3 Casper Galloway

Casper HATES Halloween, he's a big scaredy cat. Even the doorbell ringing from trick or treaters makes him jump out of his skin. He's still pretty freaked out from the whole zemon thing, so you go out of your way to distract him on Halloween. You order a pizza and snuggle up in bed to watch anything other than a horror film - he usually picks a rom com because let's face it, this man is a huuuuge softie.

#4 Mike (rip picture quality)

You and Mike go to great lengths to make Halloween fun for Angel. You carve pumpkins together, make her a little boo basket and take her trick or treating. You let her stay up an hour past her bed time on Halloween, so she can watch a spooky film for kids, like monster House. Once she's been put to bed, you and Mike split a bottle of wine while watching a classic horror film and fall asleep on the sofa together.

#5 Dean Taylor

According to Dean, Halloween is just an excuse to go out and raise hell without getting in trouble. He's been known to graffiti people's houses, set people's bins on fire and even mug drunk party goers. He's kinda an ass.

Where are you while all this is going on? You're at home none the wiser, waiting for him to get back so you can watch a movie together. You're under the impression that he's just out getting some snacks.. but now he's been gone an hour and you're pretty sure the store is closed by now.. oh, never mind, he just got back. He always seems to show up juuuust when you start to worry.

#Rodrick Heffley (yeah i made you wait until the very end, I know that's who you came here for)

He's throwing a rager, and you better believe he's gone all out with his costume. He's painted his face to look like a skeleton and ordered a cheap robe off amazon so he can go as the grim reaper. He usually gets pretty drunk at parties, but on Halloween, every time without a doubt, he gets absolutely wasted. It ends up being your job to carry him up to bed and try to wipe his face paint off him so he doesn't ruin his bedsheets. He ends up getting very clingy and insists that you stay and cuddle with him instead of going back to the party - which you have no problem with at all.

A/n happy Halloween everyone! Hope you enjoyed these hcs, and let me know if you think I should do more "How different characters would act in a scenario" type headcanons- because this was a lot of fun to write!

As always, replies and reblogs are greatly appreciated, they help me figure out what sort of stuff people wanna see more of :^)

Requests are still open! Check my pinned post for details

[alittleplaytime]

Animal Foods Stimboard!!

🍰 🧸 🍞 | 🍰 🧸 🍞 | 🍰 🧸 🍞

🌼 media: none! (but top right stim is pompompurin and bottom left stim is miffy!!)

🐝age appropriate? -

🍯 rqd by: no one <3.

🌻 note: mmm snackies. i love little treats an i love when they're so cute like this!! this board is a mix of real foods and squishys made to look like food animals <3

recipes to try!!:

shiba hokkaido milk bread

bunny pizza

animal crackers

steven universe's cookie cat ice cream sandwiches

remember to be careful when cooking and there is no shame in asking for help if you need it!! plus it can be a fun activity to do with friends or your caregiver!!

[irlcats-bracket]

Bracket 5 Semifinals 2

Blackie vs Maccabee

check their descriptions and catpaganda (new for blackie)

BLACKIE

This is Blackie, submitter's little one-eyed wonder. He lost his eye to glaucoma quite a few years ago, but he's doing a lot better now, and still likes to play with his sister, Artemis. His name is Blackie because that's what the shelter named him and submitter's family couldn't agree on a new name for him so it stuck, but submitter themselves call him 'Big Boi' because of just how massive he is. He was once very timid, but with time and love and patience he is now a certified lap cat who will come right up to strangers to demand pets. He has a wonderful squeaky meow and when he purrs it sounds like two cats purring at once. He likes to have people watch him eat and he will guide submitter's mom over to the couch and make her lay down just so he can sleep in her lap. Also, when he lays on his back, he covers his belly with his tail. Pictured is him in his signature polite boi sitting pose

MACCABEE

- weird old man

- known to bite people's elbows when prompted

- frequently sleeps with one (1) limb stretched in a random direction

- the reason submitter can't have pineapples in the house

- knows the word "treat," meaning it cannot be said out loud around him

- they got him for chanukah (hence the name). diversity win! this cat is jewish!

- they paid $150 to buy him a half-page ad in submitter's high school yearbook because he's worth it <3

CATPAGANDA

MACCABEE

has a post made by his human as a separate propaganda piece. it has bribery. the offer as far as i know still stands

also has agitational posters!!

BLACKIE

So glad to see Blackie still in the competition! His response so far has been "aow."

Truth be told, I'm running out of propaganda. If he make it to the next round, I'm gonna try my darnedest to capture his meows on video, which I haven't been able to do before because he sees me coming with the camera and starts purring XD

For now, more assorted Blackie facts!

Very rarely, when he gets the zoomies, he'll laugh. Like "huhuhuheueheHUEHEUE" kinda laugh.

I like to let him sniff human food/whatever I'm holding just to make sure he feels included (still doesn't like anything but pizza crumbs). But he has gagged on pickled ginger, banana, and CBD rub. He always gets really embarrassed when he gags tho

Ever since I got a job, he has been following me to bed and jumping on my chest to get the pets that he now lacks during the day.

If he sees you getting out the cat brush, he''ll lead you over to where he wants to be brushed.

On that note, when I had hurt my leg one time, Blackie saw that I wasn't leaning down to pet him and instead lead me over to the couch to have me sit down to pet him. He kept that up for a couple months once he saw how relieved it made me.

More Blackie propoganda! This time I bring you big boi in motion

link

Assorted Blackie facts:

A brave man when it comes to thunderstorms. But the vacuum? His mortal enemy.

The friendliest cat at the shelter. But the staff forced me to pick him up and hold him to get a picture and he got terrified and peed on me.

We think, based on how he acts, that he may have grown up in a home with dogs. But the mark on his ear is one done by our local neuter and release program, so we don't know if he was a stray, an outside cat, etc. But he's one of the friendliest cats I've ever met.

Will go up to his sister and put his head down to get it licked. But as soon as she goes to lick him and flattens his ears and raises a paw like he's gonna hit her. Sometimes they fight and sometimes they just walk away. We don't think he's trying to trick her because he acts genuinely confused throughout this process.

Sometimes he uses his back paw to scratch the back of his front leg when he's sitting down and it's so cute <3

These are old photos from when I used to hold a camera down and snap a photo when they leaned in to sniff the lens.

Blackie is our older cat and is such a gentleman. He is eager to love, he does the quickest slow blinks I've ever seen from a cat. He has a two-layered purr, it literally sounds like a cat purring as popcorn is being made in the background. He lost his eye to glaucoma when he was younger but he runs around and plays and teases his sister Artemis like a kitten. And his eyebrow whiskers grew down over his missing eye! He's not a big fan of people food but he has a fondness for pizza crumbs (NOT the crust. Just the crumbs off the plate when you're done eating the pizza). He walks like he's gingerly stepping through flowers and he's so gentle that the one time I overstimulated him and he wanted to bite me, he just shoved his closed mouth against my hand. He has a super long tongue and if you scratch the right spot between his shoulder blades he will lick the air. He's my precious boy who started out so scared but he's so brave and social and happy now just typing this out makes me wanna cry and go give him scritchies.

[builtaworldwithyourlove]

I Forget Where We Were

1.6k/joel miller x f!reader / MINORS DNI 

summary: life with Joel from the start. Be kind please- this is my first piece and has taken 6 months of courage🤍

Chapter Ten: All Is Now Harmed

My fear in lights, all I said comes home. I can’t do this alone. 

what to expect: the steps towards the next stage of life. 

warnings: bad language i guess idk?😂fluff, dad!joel,lover boy joel, no specific physical description of reader, female reader (please let me know if there is anything I’m missing, I will elaborate as the series goes on) no outbreak, age gap (reader is mid 20s and Joel is mid 40s), boyfriend!joel? i repeat boyfriend!joel, kitten antics, house renovations and surprises

    · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

The week passed in the blink of an eye, with great news at work that you were given a payrise and a shining personal review.

It was tradition that you and Laura had a Friday night cocktail to unwind after the week. She was brighter and happier this week, and Tommy was treating her beautifully, just like she deserved. You had told her your apartment had sold. You had a cash buyer, meaning you completed within the week and now had a lump sum in your account. 

‘Drinks are on you then?’ Laura laughed, ‘first a pay rise and now enough to buy a few birkins with change’

‘Girl don’t even start, I’ll be poor by next week if you tempt me. No birkins just yet, one day though I promise.’ you tapped your cocktail glasses together and offered to drop Laura home. She said Tommy was picking her up for date night.

‘Cute, you guys make me sick’ you cuddled Laura good bye and said she can pop by tomorrow at yours to help you sort your apartment out ready to move in with Joel.

   · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

You picked up your usual wine and pizza, some groceries for the weekend and a bunch of peonies to bring home. 

Tommy walked out the front door, covered in sawdust and sweating.

‘Don’t ask’ he said. 

‘Laura’s waiting for you’ he looked like he had seen a ghost and sprinted like road runner to his van. 

The hall was littered with tools, timber and Ikea boxes. 

‘I’m home baby’ you called. Nova came running through the hall, her collar jingling through. You picked her up and held her as you both searched for Joel. 

‘Damn cat has been climbing my sunflowers’ Joel sipped his beer and pointed a finger accusingly at Nova.

You fake gasped and covered her ears. ‘Watch your tone around the baby. What’s going on in the hallway?’

Joel rolled his eyes and carried on keeping busy round the garden. ‘Couldn’t keep building material’s at the client’s house’

‘Where’s Sarah?’ You shouted, as he turned his back and carried on walking.

‘At a friend’s, sleeping over. Birthday party tomorrow.’

You hummed and went back inside with Nova. 

Dinner was cooking and you caught up on your shows, with the kitten snuggled up on your lap.

Joel came in and sat in the armchair opposite you. 

‘There’s room for a little one.’

‘I’m hot. Been working all damn day and just had to tidy the garden’ Joel huffed.

‘Well you didn’t have to tidy the garden, it could’ve waited for tomorrow’ you tried to reason with Joel and his woe is me situation.

He didn’t respond. 

‘The money came in from the buyer’s today. I was thinking we’ll get some bits done and could book a little holiday, us 3. Tommy and Laura too?’ You picked up Nova, still catching z’s, and went and sat on Joel’s lap.

‘I’d love that baby. I’m exhausted, we need a break’ Joel rested his head on your shoulder.

‘I know baby. Thank you for everything you’ve done’ you cuddled him close.

   · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

It was bed time, and you were both showered and snuggled up watching Desperate Housewives. 

‘Laura is meeting me back at the apartment for 11am tomorrow. Got a shit ton of stuff to do’ Nova was nestled between you& Joel. 

‘Sounds good baby. Me& Tommy have some bits to do, but we’ll bring some drink and get stuff done’ Joel looked at you over the rim of the glasses that sat on his nose.

‘I look forward to it.’ You removed his glasses and got up to put Nova in her cat bed. She now has one in every room. You pulled the duvet off Joel. ‘Now get naked, Mr Miller’

    · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

It wasn’t clear why Tommy and Joel were like this, but you were woken up at 6:30am by the sound of power tools and country music.

‘What the fuck is going on?’ Nova was sat at the foot of the bed, with a head tilt and a baby meow.

You called Joel on the phone, knowing you wouldn’t be heard if you shouted.

‘Sorry baby, we’re just organising the loft. Won’t be long. Coffee would be nice’ Joel sounded as if he had just run a marathon.

‘Sure coffee would be nice, god damn asshole’ you muttered to yourself ‘ so would being able to sleep in til 8.’

You went downstairs and made breakfast for the boys and left some coffee on the landing for them.

You were still in a sleepy daze, you failed to notice the hallway had been emptied of building materials.

Tommy bounded downstairs and swung round the banister launching himself into the kitchen. Joel followed quickly behind, slurping his coffee. They were both happy and chirpy, until they saw you sat in the garden in the patio chair listening to Lana Del Rey with eyes shut.

‘Shit, that’s her man-hating music’ Joel whispered.

‘Boy I’m out of here then. I’ve already pissed one chick off by waking her up to leave early this morning, I’m not facing the wrath of your one too’ Tommy ate his bacon sandwich and got ready to leave.

‘Thank you brother. I appreciate you’ Joel hugged his brother and smacked him on the back.

‘She’ll love it. See you lunchtime at the old house. Bring your marigolds’ Tommy left and Joel approached you in the garden.

‘Baby?’ Joel was terrified. If he knew one thing, it was do not wake a sleeping girlfriend.

‘How can I help?’ You sighed.

‘I love you’ Joel knew laying it on thick would melt you.

‘Asshole’ you sat on his lap, and Joel stroked your thigh under your robe and played with the hem of your night dress.

‘Gym?’

‘Let’s go, Mr Miller.’

   · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

Your workout was finished, and you and Joel showered and headed back to yours. Laura and Tommy were parked up waiting for you.

‘Can you guys go pick up some trash bags and moving boxes?’ The boys nodded as though ready for a military operation. 

‘Let’s get started.’

   · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

It was now 4pm, and all your stuff had either been packed up, taking to charity, or put on eBay. 

‘Dinner?’ you were all exhausted, and food was a welcomed idea from Tommy.

You headed down to the local grill and had dinner and drinks before getting home. 

The movers were coming tomorrow, so Tommy agreed to have Sarah overnight so you and Joel could sort things out tomorrow.

    · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

When you got home, you got a glass of wine for you& Joel and ran him a bath. He was now converted since joining you that night.

You were sat on the sofa half watching a film and half internet shopping.

‘Don’t spend it all at once’ Joel crept up behind you and held your shoulders to make you jump.

‘Bastard,you’re not getting anything now’

‘Can I show you something?’ Joel grabbed your hand and lead you to the stairs up to the third floor. This was Joel’s loft, but he said it was just storage and not worth seeing.

He uncovered your eyes and revealed the renovation him and Tommy had been working on.

A bespoke closet, work from home space and dressing room ready for you to move you stuff into.

You couldn’t believe your eyes.

‘Well I feel incredibly guilty for moaning at you both this morning’ you laughed through a sniffle and Joel wiped your tears of joy, ‘Thank you, baby.’

‘I’m so grateful to have you here. I love you more than life, and you deserve it’ Joel squeezed you tight.

‘I can’t wait for the rest of my life with you.’

    · · ────── ·𖥸· ────── · ·

The next morning, you had to head back to the apartment and let the movers in. Thankfully, you didn’t have to bring any furniture except the sofa, as Joel had decided they were prettier and comfier than his, and you just had a few boxes of bits and pieces, plus your all of your clothes.

‘I’m on my way back baby, movers finished all smoothly’ you called Joel through your car speaker.

‘Okay darling, just picking Sarah up and then will see you at home.’

Sarah and Joel pulled up home at the same time as you& the mover’s. Sarah couldn’t believe the surprise of a kitten and her new bestfriend moving in within the same week.

‘This will take about an hour, do you want to help me decorate the loft?’ Sarah saw the opportunity to raid your wardrobe and ran with it. 

Joel went and got you both a drink and some snacks whilst he sat and watched you both put the last of your clothes in the wardrobe, and put your candles around the room.

‘Well doesn’t this look beautiful? Who’d have thought we’d make yourself so girly?’ you high fived Sarah and cuddle Joel.

‘Thank you for doing this for me. I love you both so much. I feel blessed to live my life with the Millers’ Nova ran up the stairs and joined the family meeting.

‘All that’s left to do is give you a new surname, can’t have the cat as a Miller and not you officially’ Joel winked.

Now you had an an engagement to think about, as if you couldn’t be any more spoiled.

Previous Chapter