#cause best marvel movie

[satanfemme]

I really hope the people I knew in high school, but who I immediately lost touch with due to my insanity ofc, still think of me sometimes. be ause then maybe they'd track down my current url on here just to see how I'm doing..... and they'd be greeted by ...... all this. "I'm a DOG BEAST. I love CANNIBALISM and KILLING. DEVIL WORSHIP is hot as hell, but so is SEXUALIZING G-D. <- who loves LEATHER FETISH just like me btw. if I'm not HIGH on edibles and prescription drugs 24/7 I will start setting fire to the people who mildly annoy me."

anyways, I check on their twitters/instagrams sometimes too just to see how they're doing. and they're normal now.

[tamayokny]

i watched multiverse of madness for the first time and if sam raimi had not directed this movie i would hate it more than i enjoy it

[tenshindon]

What’s a Disney movie that hasn’t been represented in a Kingdom hearts that you want to see.

why are you asking this on my dragonball blog bestie 💀

[idiosyncraticrednebula]

I will never understand why some people feel the need to defend the indefensible.

[lizzieisright]

hey hurt/comfort idea:

soo what about the reader and abby being best friends for years and reader always had a crush on abby. they go to a party and abby introduces her new gf to u. she always liked her but thought reader didn’t (always a bit horny around reader, but they know eachother since childhood so abby mistakes readers flirting as being flirty like friends) so reader gets absolutely hartbroken, drinks till she passes out but abby takes care of her ofc. abbys gf is always with her tho so it just hurts even more.

she avoids abby till the next frat prty or smth (maybe it’s college!au) and then they hook up, abby can’t remember cause she’s too drunk and is back w her gf

very messy but i hope u get the idea :P

(also to make it more hurtful make abby mean while she’s drunk bc she’s going through a rough time but isn’t telling anyone)

It took me so long, I'm so sorry

Palestine: what can you do

I've changed a few things (they don't hook up) because I can't deal with cheating, and I couldn't decide on what ending I wanted so there's a poll in the end.

Tags: Modern AU, childhood friends, Angst, pining and unrequited love, of course.

_______________

Abby is a fucking God, and you come to this conclusion when you're 11 and she helps you with your stupid assignment.

When you're both 14 you start to understand that what you feel for her is not, in fact, an admiration. 

You come to this conclusion when you sit in her bedroom and she jokes about teaching you how to kiss because you're a loser and you agree - and yeah, the kiss is a mess, but now you both know that you want to kiss girls. And you want to kiss one girl in particular, but Abby is your best friend and you won’t do anything that will lead to losing her.

Being a God means Abby is out of your reach and you have to live with your stupid feelings.

You're jealous of every boy who jokes around her to get her attention.

You're jealous of every girl who dares to look at her a little too long.

Abby is popular and she starts dating and it breaks your heart every time, and you can't look at other people because all your gods look like Abby.

"Why don't you go on a date?" Abby asks once when you're 16 and you're eating pizza in your bedroom, watching another marvel movie. "I think Jen likes you."

"I don't want to." What would be the point if the only person you want to date won't ever look at you this way?

"Why? Don't you get horny like the rest of us mortals?"

The worst part of being in love with your popular best friend is that she recently lost her virginity and she can't shut up about sex because she is excited about it.

"I have my hand, Abby." You roll your eyes at her.

"But it feels better when the other person does it." Abby winks and puts her hand on your thigh. "It's better, isn't it?" She rubs your thigh and your breath hitches. She looks at you, playful, and goes a little up on your thigh, and your face burns.

"You belong in horny jail, Anderson." You laugh, but don't move her hand: if you move it she'll call you a chicken, but she is a chicken enough herself to not move it further.

And she doesn't.

You live your life peacefully, dealing with your feelings as best as you can.

Then college starts and you're too busy to think about Abby 24/7 and you feel like it gets easier. Like you can breathe around her and you almost don't feel pain when she talks about her sex life.

Almost.

You know it's easy to deal with because all those girls in her bed are temporary while you're in Abby's life forever, and not because your feelings suddenly fainted. Abby likes to sleep around, she is a flirt even with you - a lot, actually, she thinks she can get away with a lot by saying she is touch-starved and then her hands wander off somewhere they're not supposed to be, and you let her, because you'll take whatever you can.

So you go through Abby's fuckboy phase with ease, because sex talk is way better than feelings talk.

A few years pass and suddenly the feelings talk starts, and you're slowly dying inside, because Abby likes someone. Abby talks about how nervous she is around her, she is always on her phone texting her, she is always busy when you want to spend time with her.

You hate this girl with all you have, because she takes Abby away, she takes everything away - Abby is not touchy anymore, she only hugs you briefly when you see her, she is not listening to you half of the time, too caught up in her fantasies.

You hope her girl is a bitch and an asshole and toxic so you can talk Abby out of it, but then Abby tells you she is going to introduce you at the party and you cry yourself to sleep that night.

"How do I look?"

"Like you need Jesus." You say honestly because Abby in the muscle tee and a pair of cargo pants makes you ache.

"Yeah?" Abby looks at you through the mirror with that fucking smirk she knows you like. "Am I fuckable?"

"We both know you prefer to be on the other end of that word, Anderson." You roll your eyes and put your shoes on only to straighten up to Abby's face way too close. She looks you up and down.

"You're very fuckable though."

"Fuck off." You huff and open the door of her apartment, hoping she won't tease you for being flustered. "Let's go before Manny gets so drunk you'll have to carry him. Again."

You spent the night in dread of meeting Abby's girl, dreaming of seeing her red flags or something to have a real reason to hate her to Abby's face, but then Abby lights up and she excuses herself to go and meet her girl, while you try so hard to not throw up from your nerves.

The girl is gorgeous.

"This is (y/n)." Abby motions at you and you smile politely. "This is Mia."

"I'm so happy to meet you." Mia smiles and she looks kind and genuine and fuck, you can't hate her. There's no jealousy in her, no fake smiles, no tense body language. "Abby loves you so much."

You swallow hard.

"I put up with so much of her shit, she doesn't have a choice." You joke and Mia laughs.

Mia is funny and cute and you understand why Abby likes her, because it's impossible not to. Mia is a type of girl that you'd think of as a bitch because she is popular, therefore arrogant, but when you get to know her she is a total sweetheart who'd help you find a way to your class if she notices you're lost.

This is hard.

This is going to break you.

You can't cope with this. You can't cope with seeing Abby's gentle gaze on Mia, with her careful touch and constant care. So you excuse yourself and go to the bar to get drunk, as if you can drown your feelings by dragging them to the bottom of the bottle. You dance and you drink, you dance and you drink and repeat it five other times until all long islands make you feel sick and you can't walk by yourself anymore. You're an independent woman and you refuse to ask for help, but when you can't order a taxi for the fifth time because your eyes are so blurry, Mia comes to you and holds you by your elbow.

"We will take you home, okay?" She says kindly and you feel your lips tremble. We.

"Jus- can you c'll a taxi f'me?" You slur, but you feel Abby's hand on your waist as she supports you. "Don't wanna ruin your night."

"You're not ruining anything." Mia says cheerfully and orders a taxi when Abby gives her your address. "Happens to the best of us."

The drive home makes you super dizzy and Abby has to put her hand between your head and the car door because you hit it all the time. The moment the car stops and Abby goes around to help you get on your legs, you throw up on the ground and it's a miracle you don't get everyone's shoes dirty.

Abby decides to carry you to your place and you can't shut up even for a second.

"I'm s'sorry guys. Not a good first impression. I really like you, Mia. You look kind. Like a grandma. In a good way, I'm sorry." Mia giggles. "Your laugh is very cute. It's cute, right Abby?"

"Yeah." Abby agrees quietly and what you don't know is that for her your drunken rant was way cuter than her girlfriend's laugh.

"Yeah. You look great together, I'm s'happy for you Abby. Haven't seen her that nervous because of a girl in years, can you imagine, Mia? You make this asshole nervous." You're chuckling sadly, you want to cry because you don't make Abby nervous.

No, you just embarrass her in front of her girlfriend because you're so pathetically in love you can't deal with it and drink half of the bar until you forget how to walk on your own.

Abby helps you change and Mia gives you water. She makes sure there is fresh air in your room and she tucks your blanket, and you close your eyes to hide your tears because Mia is so nice. She is a dream girl and Abby is so happy and there is no space for you anymore.

Because Mia took your place in that forever equation.

On the next day you text your apologies to both Abby and Mia (she followed you on instagram and asked you how you felt) and you can't deal with this. It hurts so much because you love Abby so much and you want her to be happy but it seems like the price of it is going to be your heart.

So you start avoiding her as best as possible, and what is more sad - it's not even that hard. Abby is always with Mia, fuck, Mia even asks you to come with them to hang out, which you always find an excuse not to. Library, fever, other plans, other plans again, sorry, paper is due tomorrow, my aunt is in town (she is not). Anything to not meet with them.

You still see Abby during classes and you give each other life updates, but it's been weeks since you actually hung out and you accept the reality that yes, there's no place for you in Abby's life anymore.

You cry every fucking night.

Then Abby suddenly remembers you exist and she asks you if you want to hang out, just the two of you, because she misses you. You miss her too and you agree.

You regret it the moment she cuddles you in front of her tv. She has a girlfriend now, why is she so touchy again? Did something happen with Mia that Abby came to you?

"Is everything okay with Mia?"

"Yeah, she is great." Abby says and buries her nose in your neck.

No. You can't deal with this.

So you start avoiding Abby at all costs after this - you can't shake the feeling that this is cheating, because for you Abby's touch has never been platonic, no. And it never felt platonic either, it was always giving you hope because Abby was flirting and touching the way friends don't touch each other. Maybe one day she'd finally give you a chance, you thought, but this day never came.

It is another party a month and half later - yay, Abby and Mia have been together for two months now! - and you don't know if Abby is going to come, but you hope she doesn't. You know she knows something is up and she will want her answers if she meets you.

But you have fun. You play games, you drink, you dance, you get flirted with and you forget about your pain just to get so drunk again you can't help but go outside to find a place to cry in peace.

You miss Abby, you miss her because she is a part of you and yes, you're in love with her, but she also your best fucking friend and you hate yourself for being in love with her, because it ruins your life. It has been ruining your life since you were fourteen and actually understood what you felt, but now it was getting serious.

"(Y/n)?"

Fuck.

You wipe your tears and look at Abby who is standing right in front of you.

"Hi." You squeak and she drops on the knees to look at you.

"Did something happen? Why are you crying?"

"I'm just sad. Don't worry." You try to smile but Abby's frown makes you cry more. "I'm going home anyway, so you can enjoy the party."

"What the hell are you saying? I'm not leaving you."

She should. She should leave you and not complicate it further.

Abby calls a taxi and you chuckle in your head - If you had a nickel for every time Abby was taking your drunk ass home, you'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

You tell her as much because the meme is funny and you try to be positive.

Abby helps you out of the car and this time you don't throw up.

"You know, last time I totally embarrassed myself in front of Mia." You chuckle and make your way upstairs with Abby's arm around your waist. "She is cute, I'm so happy for you."

Abby chuckles and leads you inside your apartment, but between the two of you she is mostly sober and she has some questions, and she wants her answers. You know this too, so when you sit on your sofa you feel like all your shields are crumbling: you’re giving up on hiding this from her. If this is the end, so be it.

"You've been avoiding me." Abby says quietly, looking you in your eyes like she is just a little bit mad. 

"Yeah, I know." You admit with a chuckle. "You have a girlfriend now, it's so cool. When was the last time you liked someone like that? Back in school?"

"So you've been avoiding me on purpose." 

"I don't think you can avoid someone accidentally, Abby.” You say, not holding back your venom. “Anyway, I’m so happy for you.”

“Why are you avoiding me?” Abby moves closer to you  and you swallow your tears because there’s nowhere to run.

“Because it’s easier.” You shrug. “I just want you to be happy, okay? Does Mia make you happy?”

“Yeah.” Abby admits and you start crying again: it hurts so fucking much. 

“Good. It’s good. I’m happy for you.” You sniffle and Abby huffs, annoyed.

“Stop saying that. Stop avoiding my questions.”

Inside you all hell breaks loose.

“I love you, okay?” You finally burst. “I love you, and it hurts so fucking bad and I can’t fucking see you with her or know that you’re with her! What do you want me to do? What would you do if you were me? I can’t- I can’t-” You throw your hands desperately and bite your lip, too angry with this whole situation.

“I love you too.” Abby says, confused.

“No, no Abby, you don’t understand.” You’re quiet and angry, almost spitting every word out. “I’m in love with you. I’m not jealous as a friend, Abby. I’m jealous because I want to be in her place, okay? Fuck, I wanted to be in your every girl’s place since you started dating girls!” 

There is silence. You thought it would be terrifying - this silence - but right now you feel nothing except how dizzy your head is. You feel empty and there's no tears anymore. Abby stares at you in shock, her fists clenched, and you chuckle cynically. 

“So can I continue avoiding you now or should I suffer more?”

“Fuck, (y/n)..” Abby sighs and rubs her forehead, going over her face with her palm. “Fuck. Don't do this to me.”

“Well.” You huff, annoyed. “Not like I have a fucking choice, Anderson.”

Abby throws her head back and stares at the ceiling while you do the same, trying to keep your drunk ass stable. You feel like eternity passes before Abby speaks again, and it is strangely comforting, having your best friend here with you, in this boat of pain, and sharing it with her. 

“All these years. All these years we could have been together.” Abby sounds like she is mourning. 

You thought your heart broke when you met Mia? Forget it, it's broken now.

You sob, howl almost, and Abby is suddenly holding you in her arms, placing kisses to your hair. Her heart can't handle seeing you cry, never could - yes, she tried to move on with Mia, and it worked partially, but all her effort went to shit just now. You're the most precious girl to her and nothing can change it. Abby swallows and braces herself, suddenly making a decision in her head, all her anxiety about what is a right thing to do gone. 

“You know what? Fuck it. Fuck all that time we've missed. I'm not letting you go now.” Abby says in your ear and you sob even more violently. “Come on, baby, I'm here. Let me see your face.”

You can't believe it. You can't even process it: is it your drunken dream? Are you hallucinating? It would definitely not be the first time. But you look up at Abby and she gently wipes your tears and there’s so much love and hurt in her eyes it’s hard not to break into another sobbing fit. 

“I've been in love with you since we were seventeen.” Abby smiles at you and you shakily smile back. “I’m sorry it came to this. But I'm here now.”

“I love you.” You say feverishly and Abby's restraint breaks.

She kisses you hungrily, practically devouring you, and you're weak, so you return her kiss and press into her, soaking in her warmth and strength. Abby is solid and tender, she holds you like she cares and you cling to her for a moment.

But then you remember yourself and push Abby away, shaking your head.

“No. You're better than this. You're not going to betray Mia like this. I'm not going to let you, Abby. We're not doing this,” You motion between yourself and her. “Behind your girlfriend's back. And I'm also fucking drunk.”

Abby chuckles and kisses your forehead. 

“Come on, I'll help you get into your bed.”

Everything else after is a blur as Abby helps you change and covers you with your blanket, and you fall asleep. You can't wait for the morning to come.

****

[punkpandapatrixk]

🌟Blessings to Expect throughout 2024 ♦︎ Timeless Pick A Card

‘You’re always here. What are you doing?’

‘Nothing…nothing in particular.’

‘You’re Saibara’s grandson, right? Aren’t you working at the Blacksmith shop?’

‘I’m not interested in that. I want to go back to the city.’

‘Oh… I came from the city, too. My dad moved the family to this village because he was going to study plants. I felt lonely at first. But the people here are all very kind.’

‘I don’t feel lonely. But I can’t find what I want to do in this village.’

‘What is it you want that you can’t find here?’

‘Well, it’s…oh, nothing…’

‘My mother always says that if you can’t find what you want to do, then do what you can see to do now. Nobody finds what they want immediately. But if you waste your time every day because of that, you’ll never find anything... To tell you the truth, I haven’t found what I’m looking for yet, either. See you.’

— Mary and Gray’s conversation from Harvest Moon: Back To Nature

SONG: Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Judy Garland

MOVIE: The Wizard of Oz (1939)

[PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 1 – Welcoming Love, True Love

VIBE: Ready for Your Love (feat. MNEK) by Gorgon City

end of a struggle – King of Swords

You’ve been incredibly and marvellously responsible for…quite a number of years, I think? For some of you maybe a couple of months or so. But your struggles have ended; nearing ending; or you just haven’t realised yet how everything has changed for the better now. If you take a moment to really notice yourself, I’m sure you can tell just how much clearer you’ve become about many things pertaining to your surrounding and sense of Self. I feel you’ve worked really hard to overcome excessive trauma noises that have caused you a great deal of psychological pain.

Starting this year, you can feel more confident in your intellectual capacity to gauge situations right in front of you. Making choices will be a lot easier now because you’re clear about who you are as a person and what it is you truly want out of your own existence. You’ve clearly set enough boundaries with those who didn’t have your best interest. Seems to me you’ve learnt the hard way to be more selfish in the spirit of self-preservation. And so, the adventure of a lifetime begins right this moment.

In fact, I feel like your entire Life up until this point has been quite the adventure—only it has been filled with sorrow and misery, sorta. Surely it was your Hero’s Journey taking shape for the early chapters of your Life’s Story. A slow burn of a lifetime, if you will. Beginning this year, you’re entering the most exciting part of your rise to glory and everlasting happiness!

in your favour – 8 of Pentacles

You’ve been hustling behind the scenes for the most part. At least, those who aren’t close to you will never know just how much work you’ve put into bettering your world from the inside out. You worked so much on your mindset; you must’ve exercised a lot, too; tried to eat more cleanly and healthily; worked on your glow-up; brushed your skills; etc. You were investing in yourself for the future vision you’ve always held close to your heart. And for that reason, the seeds are now blooming.

You’re making me think of the bamboo plant. Did you know that a bamboo seedling takes around 5-7, maybe even 8-10, years to gestate underground? All alone in the dark without anyone knowing what’s going on down there. And when the seedling shoots up to the surface, the bamboo plant is famous for being the fastest growing plant there ever is.

So yeah~ fast or no fast in your mind, the point is that you’ve done the work on yourself and all the plans you’ve ever had for your Life. This year, 2+0+2+4=8, is the year you reap all the rewards and grow even faster from where you are now. Whatever undertaking you begin this year will gain traction super fast! Pat yourself on the back because when things get super good, you deserve to take a small break and just enjoy how far you’ve come~! Breathe~

catching stars – Page of Wands

Your Story is totally far from finished. With the Page aenergy—a kid’s aenergy—you’re only on the precipice of entering a Life of passion and purpose. You could almost say, it’s a new Story altogether just because this chapter of your Life is SO SO SO super good in comparison to the chapters about your struggles. I guess you’d call this a new arc huehue

You’re young Hercules now. Pretty soon, there will occur some big event that propels you into a bona fide hero, and then, you’ll meet your Megara~ This part of your Story is where you enter a circle of true—at least truer—friends and lovers who will motivate you throughout the next chapters of your Life. Sure, sure, struggles don’t just end, poof, like that and you will continuously need to learn to sift through these new breeds of friends and acquaintances. But that’s also part of your next level growing up, so don’t sweat the possibilities XD

Throughout 2024, you could be moving to a new environment and then meet new friends. Highkey you’re gonna be meeting Soulmates and Soul Fam members; these are the people who resemble you so much either on the inside or outside. These are people who think like you, care about the same things as you; basically you’re gonna finally feel like you truly belong somewhere on this Planet. Love is in the air because you’ve been giving so much Love to yourself before this point. You are Love. You emanate Love wherever you go because you love yourself, and thus you become a magnet for people who also will love you just as good~

APPLE STRUDEL🔻💛

honey lemon juice – Silver Magus (Merlin)

have a sweet time, honey – Priestess of Love

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 2 – Rising Up to Accept Yourself Wholly

VIBE: She Said from Kamikaze Girls

end of a struggle – Knight of Cups

You’ve kinda just gone through a death of a paradigm of sort. I feel that in the past, you simply didn’t really know who you were or what you were meant to be. This confusion of an identity was caused by your parents/caretakers not really appreciating you for who you were as a child or it could also be caused by your environment, race, culture, custom, tradition, stuff like that. It wasn’t your fault, you know. You literally grew up on your own and finally got clear about your own identity—you stopped caring if your real identity is too weird, too eccentric for this world.

Basically, you got tired of rejecting yourself. And you realised that you were doing that because you knew others wouldn’t accept you. Then you realised people are shitty and lame for the most part anyway, so you learnt to be OK with embracing all of your weird heart’s little desires. And you nurtured yourself and nurtured yourself until you rose above the lameness of most of Humanity. Did you know? You did the right thing, really. Through and through.

You’re definitely an Advanced Soul. I think even when you were a kid you always felt like there was some spirit/shadow parental figure walking behind you, guiding your thought processes. This older/bigger unseen figure was really just your own Higher Self, you know :D More than others would give you credit for, you’ve been such a good gal/boi for always listening to the guidance of your Higher Self~

in your favour – 3 of Pentacles

Beginning this year, you’re going to finally meet people who are similar to you. Similar as in, you’re going to meet a lot of colourful characters, really. People who also feel somewhat like society’s outcast. These people are going to come from various backgrounds and they will each have very interesting back stories and life experiences that will entertain you for a long time. These people could also have very strange, unusual hobbies that will spark your interest in new, alien pursuits.

With that said, this year could be the year you begin a new passion project of your own, with these people, new friends, you share a vision with. They do care about you and want to succeed together, so you can trust that these connections are going to bear sweet feelings for you. Most importantly, this year you’re going to know the sweet feeling of doing something meaningful with your natural talents born out of your innate interests. When you finally get the money, you will first and foremost taste gratitude from those who seem to love and enjoy what you do or have to offer~

Life really is getting better now because you’ve mustered the courage to explore your possibilities in all your eccentricity. Your Higher Self never meant for you to fit in anyway. You were always meant to be some sort of a genius trailblazer—a source of inspiration for the other lameass Humans who are too afraid to be themselves.

catching stars – 10 of Pentacles

What more can be said? On top of embracing yourself fully, loving yourself wholeheartedly, and meeting kindred spirits, you’re also going to gain a massive amount of money! Life’s always good when you have a lot of money! More money means a happier heart and more to share as well. But in your case, if you’ve chosen this Pile as your main pile, know that before a lot of money even trickles into your reality, it is the sense that you’re serving your Life Purpose what will make you feel rich.

After all, there could people reading this who came from a wealthy background and you may think you don’t crave or even care about money. Exactly. You never cared about a lack of money but didn’t you struggle with grounding yourself to this Reality because you didn’t know what you were put on Earth to do? This ‘10 of Pentacles sense of abundance’ encompasses a sense of material abundance that feels deserving; you can now feel worthy of getting paid for some passionate, incredible, show-stopping contribution you’ve made to society. Isn’t that such a wonderful feeling?

Some of you reading this could mend some broken bonds with family; some others could finally find a tribe—a Soul Family—and feel that you belong; some could start a family of your own with someone worthy of your high-grade affection. Congratulations~! You’ve really made it this far~ Things can only get better and better from here♥︎

APPLE STRUDEL🔻💗

honey lemon juice – Green Historian (Herodotus)

have a sweet time, honey – Priestess of Patience

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

Pile 3 – Stepping On the Pedestal of Destiny

VIBE: Cheer Up, Charlie from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

end of a struggle – King of Pentacles

If you’ve chosen this as your main pile, I just know it that you’ve been working so hard on yourself, on a level that’s practically incomprehensible for most people. I’m sure you’ve survived so many deaths of the spirit—and perhaps even some of the more dramatic attempts. And you’ve come on top of your misery now. You’ve gotten healthier and clearer about where you’re going next. I sense sometimes you still doubt yourself but it isn’t a sin to doubt, it’s just a sign that you want to do well. And on so many levels, sometimes you’re afraid because you genuinely want this dream/vision to happen to you.

I assure you with this reading that you’re on the fast track towards a rendezvous with Destiny. Fast…is honestly relative to each Soul’s blueprint tho XD Time is on your side and what’s meant for you can’t miss you. So chillax, OK? One thing to know about this great dream/vision of yours is that you’re going to see it manifest because you’re different from the rest. Different in that you want to see it manifest to be of service to the rest! When you really think about it…

Don’t you just know from deep within your Soul that you’re deserving of this great destiny? It’s because you’re going to serve a massive purpose with it! So many people would benefit from your realising this dream. And that’s the very thing! You’ve been holding on to this vision, and you want it, because you’re MEANT for it.

in your favour – 4 of Cups

I’ll be referencing the 1971 ver. of Willy Wonka here. And honestly, I think you should watch it by the weekend or something because that movie’s whole vibe will feel tremendously validating to you, I sense hahah

Have you heard of the theories that say Charlie was literally singled out by Willy Wonka from the very beginning? That he had chosen all of those horrible brats because he wanted to punish, oops, teach them a lesson, and that principally he had been watching Charlie and wanted HIM to inherit the Chocolate Factory. If you watch the 1971 film you’ll literally get it! And with this 4 of Cups, know that that’s how the Universe feels about you stepping into your destiny. Willy Wonka, or God idk, doesn’t want anybody else but YOU to fulfil this role~!

You’ve literally been chosen and singled out by the Universe to win the grand prize! Just so you know, as I’m typing these words I literally have the Willy Wonka movie playing on another window and as I typed ‘grand prize’, the person in the movie is saying it right at the same time at around the 19:11 minute mark. Things can’t get any more synchronous than that!🤯

This year, you’ll really see how every single thing is going to work out in your favour. And knowing the inner work you’ve done on yourself, I’m sure you’re spiritually mature enough to sense, to notice every small nudge that tells you what you need to do at a given time😊New adventures are just around the corner, baby~!

catching stars – 5 of Pentacles

So you see, how is 5 of Pentacles appearing for a segment about you catching stars? This is, in fact, reaffirming that your dream come true will also serve as a salve for those who are wounded and hurting. You really are a medicine for this sick world. This year, you’re going to see serendipitous events and meetings what will open the door towards the physical manifestation of your dream Reality. Once you step on to the pedestal of Destiny, there’s no stopping you. You’ll be moving so fast it drives you mad!

This card is also saying you must be careful of possible leeches coming towards you; it’s best to use caution and discernment when revealing to others your plans and goals. Be stingy with information as per your gut instinct’s nudges, OK? Be mature enough to know not everybody will be happy at the prospect of your massive success that could potentially change Mankind. People get envious of such ideas, alright? Be careful not to hit the already low self-esteem of some people around you LMAO

I also feel that this year you will begin new routines that benefit your health and physical strength. If this is something you’ve been working on, you will see this year that the implementation of these routines feels more natural and effortless. You’ve managed to master your thoughts, emotions, and time management—or soon to do. Money will also come more abundantly, so all your basic needs are easily met. You’ve become a magnet for good luck—or soon to notice you’ve done so!🍀

APPLE STRUDEL🔻🧡

honey lemon juice – Red Astronomer (Johannes Kepler)

have a sweet time, honey – Priestess of Innocence

Access full reading + cards on Patreon🌸

☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・. ☆♪°・.

[PAC Masterlist] [Patreon] [Paid Readings]

[norrisleclercf1]

Bestfriend!Lando Headcannons

Hooking up with one another, you two don’t date each other, smutty fun stuff, Lando’s curls are his weak spot, bestfriends just having fun with one another

A/N: My dumbass deleted the ask for this, my apologies

Hooking up with your best friend was very stupid

Very very stupid until his tongue was on you, and his hazel eyes boring into yours

Lando and you don’t hide the fact that you both hook up with one another from time to time

Whenever the two of you are lonely or bored you text him asking him to come over

Of course you two don’t always hook up but travel the world together

He’s been your best friend for years so you always felt comfortable with him

He knows all your secrets, and you know his

Lando loved traveling with you, you were carefree

Never pushed him to talk about F1, and just let him explore his talents

That camera was always around his neck, half the pictures of you

Called you his little muse

When he’s home and locked away gaming you come over to bring him food and drinks

The occasional blowjob while he games loving the way he has to act normal on camera

Lando who will always come to your house no matter the time when you don’t answer his texts

You who pushes him to ask a girl out he finds cute even cheering when he gets her number

Neither of you caring when the other dates, you just stop sleeping together and continue being friends

People judging when they hear you two hookup and are still friends who see each other when the other is dating

Your relationship fell apart once due to it

The guy couldn’t handle that you weren’t in love with Lando

But he just threw it in your face saying you were, and that he wanted Lando gone

You laugh and throw his ass out instead

Lando coming over with beer and junk food

which ends with you riding Lando’s face as you cum so damn good you actually scream

Movie nights with you two watching marvel movies you making fun of some of the bad CGIs

Fangirling over Tom Holland

Lando making fun of you, because he’s meet him

He hates it when you come to races because then the guys like to hit on you

You flirting with Car,so, because Lando hates it so much which ends

With you in Lando’s drivers room while he fucks your hard against the wall

Asking you who is fucking you so damn good that you can’t speak

Apologizing afterward for getting jealous kissing your forehead

Both of you getting jealous from time to time

You even once told Lando she was with him for his money and dick

Lando snapping back saying that you’re the same

Fighting is normal between you two, not talking for a while

He shows up first

A horrible race, because he couldn’t stop picturing the hurt he caused you

You in his sweatshirt because you missed his scent around you

Hugging it out and cuddling while you watch trashy TV

Taking Polaroids of each other

Yours is of him after a late night fuck

Curls messy and eyes blurry he smiles, you keep it in your wallet

His of you after his first podium where you’re hugging the trophy and crying

Lando always carrying a pad or tampon just in case

Once he got a bloody nose and you shoved the tampon in his nose to stop it

Picture evidence exists when someone doubts the story

Lando bringing you with him when he travels, making sure you’re right there next to him

Having to stop when you get a boyfriend

Lando hates him, thinks he’s not good enough for you

When they meet, Lando is quiet and keeps to himself observing the way you two act

Dating the guy for 3 years, Lando missing you every second but dates himself

Both of you breaking up with your people, but yours ends with the guy cheating on you

Lando not knowing until a mutual friend tells him

Heading to your apartment, when you open the door

You’d been holding it together pretty well, having loved the guy so much

Yet, when you see Lando you break down

Holding you close as you sob into his chest

Takes you a while to get over the guy

Finally happens when your in Canada and see that Lando’s curls are perfect

The facial hair growing on you

You told him he looked like a teenager finally learning how to grow facial hair

Jokes you should give him your leg hair to make up for it

Slapping ensues

When he comes back hair wet, curls perfect, you launch yourself at him

He groans about losing himself with the way your tongue curls in his mouth, sucking on his

Fingers pulling on his curls, Lando moans loudly

You giggle, teasing him for it

Lando shutting you up quickly when he shoves his fingers in you and curls them

The sex, rushed and fast as you both mumble how much you’ve missed one another

Joining lando for his quadrant videos, the guys loving you

Giving lando so much shit that you become a hit on the videos

Being there when Lando is so frustrated with McLaren, having his heart broken over and over

Standing up for one another when “fans” hate on you

Rows of your tweets between one another being memes

Pranking the other drivers together

Becoming the 2nd honorary Sainz when Carlos Sr, loves how you don’t take shit from the guys

You’re not allowed near Zak Brown, because last time you yelled at him

Saying that Lando deserved better

As a joke once, you took a picture with Lando’s beach ball helmet

You stole it from the garage while no one was looking

Laid down naked and laid it right in front of your spread legs

He about dies when you send him the picture your tits on perfect display teasing him

Now has that helmet in his gaming room to remind him of it every time

Supporting you when you move to another country when you get a promotion

Texts of good morning and nights to one another

Family vacations and holidays together

Lando just wanting you to be happy no matter what

Secretly in love with you, but he doesn’t know that

You’re the same way

You’re both fucking morons who need to date one another stop being friends you pussies

[earthsbestdefnder]

okay first time I saw multiverse of madness I would’ve given it 3/10 but the second watch brings it to a 7/10

[mattslolita]

best on earth - c. sturniolo

warnings : smut, smut SMUTTY SMUTT, sub!chris, riding, hair pulling, oral

you and your boyfriend chris were currently sat in your dorm room, watching a movie — it was pretty late, but you weren't stressing since the next day was saturday and you had on top of all your studying.

truth be told you were really horny right now, especially with the way chris was tracing your soft skin up and down your arm as he had his shoulder wrapped around you.

your roommate was somewhere off with her own boyfriend for the night, so the two of you practically had to whole night to yourselves — you grinned, thinking about all the things you could do to chris.

"what're you smiling about?" chris asked, looking down at you.

you shrugged and looked back up at him with your doe eyes. "just how bad i wanna fuck you."

his eyes widened at first, but nevertheless his lips upturned into a grin at the words you spoke. "oh, really?"

you responded by sitting up as he put his hands behind his head, and moving to sit yourself on top of him. you bit your lip and smirked down at him and you roamed your hands up and down his chest, whilst he held you in place with his hands on your hips tightly.

you bent down and connected your lips in a hungry kiss, asking for access as your tongue explored his mouth — a soft whimper escaped his lips and you smirked against him, beginning to move back and forth right on his cock.

"mm baby," chris whined, moving his hips upward to feel more friction, "can you make me feel good?"

"aw, you want me to make you feel good, chrissy?" you taunted the boy, moving your lips to kiss up and down his neck.

you sucked on a sweet spot in particular, causing a moan to emit from your boyfriend's lips, which was music to your ears. you nibbled on that bit of his neck some more, continuing to grind up and down on him.

"p-please baby, i need you to make me feel so good," chris whimpered, and you disconnected your lips from his neck, grinning down at him.

"you gonna be a good boy for me, then?" you whispered to him, and he nodded, another small whimper leaving his mouth.

you instructed chris to take his shirt off and you pulled your own over your head, revealing the lacy black bra that you had worn — with a smirk you took the bra off of yourself, then slid your shorts off, too.

"take off the rest of your clothes for me, sweetheart," you said and he complied, hurriedly taking off his sweatpants and throwing them to the side.

you reached down to chris's boxers and palmed him through them, causing him to groan. you slid his boxers off and marveled at how big his dick was ( well, it's not anything you haven't seen before ). you slowly crawled towards the foot of the bed and grinned up at chris.

"i'm gonna make you feel so good, baby," you said, spitting on his cock then pumping up and down.

"y-yes, make me feel so good," he whined out.

"i need you to look at me while i suck you off, christopher," you instructed him, not breaking eye contact with him.

he nodded and watched as you took him in your mouth, pumping the rest of what couldn't fit — a loud moan left chris's lips, and he began thrusting his hips upwards to gain even more friction with you. you sucked and swirled his cock, all whilst keeping eye contact with him. he looked so pretty in front of you with his hair disheveled as he brought one hand down to slightly tug at your hair.

"mhm, fuck yes y/n, that feels so good," chris whined out, as you felt yourself becoming hard at his praises, "fuck baby, you make me feel so good."

you moved your hand down to take more of him in your mouth, sucking and swirling — you bobbed your head up and down as your saliva coated his cock, almost sending him over the edge as a various amount of curses came from his mouth.

"y/n, i-i need to cum please," chris begged, and you stopped momentarily and grinned at him.

"oh baby, i can't let you do that just yet," you grinned, completely stopping stroking, "you don't cum until i tell you to, understand?"

"y-yes, baby," chris said, whining at the loss of contact.

you crawled on top of him, aligning your entrance with his cock. as you wasted no time in sinking onto him, the loudest, pornographic moans uttered out of both you guys' mouths, a euphoric feeling overtaking your body.

"oh my, fuck, chris," you moaned out, as he grabbed your hips to forcefully pull you closer on him, "you fill me out so well, baby."

you began rolling your hips up and down on his cock, which caused the sturniolo boy's head to roll back as his eyes were blown wide with nothing but pure lust — you went up and down on him, pushing his chest down with both your hands.

you bounced up and down, and chris couldn't resist himself as one of his hands went up to feel and pinch at your nipples, emitting little whines from you.

"b-baby, i'm so close," chris whined out, his hips thrusting upward, "please let me c-cum inside you."

"you wanna do what inside me, baby?" you taunted, your voice breathy as you continued bouncing up and down on him, "say it again."

"c-cum, please let me cum inside you," chris begged, which sent you over the edge.

"go ahead baby, i'm about to...fuck..."

at the same time, the both of your liquids filled your walls as they mixed together, and a loud, breathy moan escaped chris's lips which was music to your ears — you let out soft whimpers as you both finish riding out your high.

you began to slow your pace then ultimately stopped, chris pulling out as you got up from on top of him and collapsed beside him. you both were panting heavily, trying to collect yourselves at what just took place.

"you were so good for me, chris," you cooed, running your hands through his hair, causing a cheeky smile to form on his face.

"really?" he asked, and you nodded, giggling at your flustered boyfriend. "maybe next time i can do all the work for you."

you grinned down at him as you played with his hair. "oh, you definitely can next time."

[madamevirgo]

Could i dare request rebecca Ferguson X her younger actress girlfriend? Like she is the new Hollywood face and its always in something doing awesome roles?

And becca goes with her to the oscars to see her winning for the first time and they are so lovey dovey for each other

Promises

Pairing: Rebecca Ferguson x (f!)reader

Words: 3k

Warnings: angst, softness, cheesiness, my writing

A/N: I want you all to know that I immediately started writing this after I finished writing & posting the Lady Jessica one. At around 5am, at its 6pm now. Also, I was going to pair this one with a similar request, but then I got sooo many ideas for this. I loved loved writing this! Thank you for the request :)

I put on my best smile as I stepped in front of the live audience where Jimmy Fallon was waiting for me. I was here to promote my new film, a romcom. 

“Ladies and Gentlemen, our first guest tonight Y/n L/n!” I danced my way to the small podium and kissed both of Jimmy’s cheeks, taking the time to blow some kisses to the crowd before settling down on the chair.

“Wow, what an energetic audience,” I said with a laugh as the crowd cheered. 

“That’s right! The last time I interviewed you was during COVID.” He realized 

“Right, I did it with sweatpants on and from the comfort of my place.” He laughed at that. 

“I mean I’ll wear sweatpants next time if you do.” He said, and I extended a hand for a handshake to seal the deal. “Another thing that’s changed is you weren’t an Academy Award Nominee the last time we talked.” And I laughed as the crowd cheered. 

“It’s been quite a journey, Jimmy.” I giggled, feeling heat rush to my face.

“I’ll say! Let’s take a look here.” He reached down to grab a file and I leaned over to see what else he was hiding. He swatted me away playfully and I pouted. “Right, so since the last time we met, you appeared in a Marvel production, a role you’re set to reprise. You became a series regular for a book adaptation, appeared in three music videos, starred in a RomCom, attended the Met Gala, and got nominated for 5 awards, including the best leading actress. And still found the time to see me today.” He pretended to be out of breath, making me and the crowd laugh. 

“I’ll always have time for you, Jimmy,” I said with a sweet smile. 

“See! That’s what I’m talking about. This sweetness that you’re known for, I can’t wait to see it in the RomCom.” the crowd applauded. 

“I wouldn’t count on it. My character is quite different from me.” I said secretively. “And that’s all I’ll say about that. Go watch the movie if you want to know more.” I added as he opened his mouth to no doubt get more information.

“Okay, that's fair. But since we’re on the subject of love,” I rolled my eyes at that, knowing where he was going. “Is there a special someone in your life right now? One you’ll be seeing the movie with?” He added devilishly. 

“Well, there are multiple loved ones I’ll be seeing the movie with.” This caused the crowd to boo at me and I laughed. “Look, all I know is that I’m very happy right now and not lacking love in my life,” I said with a smile. 

“I guess your happiness is what matters ultimately.” He said with a sigh, making me laugh. 

“Thanks, Jimmy,” I said as I squeezed his hand softly. The crowd awed

“Alright, enough cheesiness. We’re taking a quick break, and when we come back - Y/n and I will be playing a game.” He said before turning to me to continue the conversation we were having before going on air, as the crew rushed in. 

———————

I let out a sigh as I was finally able to take off my heels after a long day, before dropping on the couch in my hotel room. Today was the last day of our press tour. We had just flown in from Paris last night and after an early morning, we spent the day running around New York for interviews. Some of them, I did alone - others with my costar who thankfully was a gem. 

Still, it had been an exhausting few weeks, and day - and there was only one thing that I wanted right now. I reached the coffee table where I had dropped my handbag and searched for my phone. I composed a number I knew by heart and waited. 

“Hello?” Instantly, my eyes lit up and a smile appeared on my face. 

“Hi, honey.” I started as I got comfortable on the couch. “Can I FaceTime you?” As soon as I’d uttered the words, I received a request to switch to video. One I was more than happy to accept. 

My smile immediately widened as the face of my girlfriend appeared on the screen. It wasn’t the same as having her with me, but it would have to do for now. 

“There you are,” I whispered

“There you are.” She echoed back and we shared a soft smile. From the looks of it, she had just woken up from a nap on set. I recognized her trailer, and I was suddenly aware of the fact that she was in the UK, in a different timezone. 

“I’m sorry we didn’t get the chance to speak these past few days,” I said softly 

“This is the life we signed up for, Y/n/n.” She said with a soft smile, although her eyes lacked the glint that they usually had. Something was wrong. “I wish we could always be together, but that’s not possible.” She whispered.

This caused me to frown. “Rex? What’s this about? This is only a busy time in our lives, and frankly, we’ve overcome bigger issues.” I said. “You’re done promoting Dune: Part 2, and you’ll finish filming Silo soon. After that, we’ll have some time to ourselves before the crazy starts back again. We just have to get through award season and then things will settle.” I said convincingly. 

“You’re right. It’s just - I was watching your interviews and it sucked to see you avoiding all questions regarding your love life. With the distance, it kinda feels like we’re not together anymore.” She sighs and suddenly lets out a humourless laugh. “This is so stupid, we’ve been dating for two, almost three years! I shouldn’t be so bothered by the distance. I must be getting my fucking period or something.” 

“Rebecca,” I say as my voice breaks. I had no idea she felt like that and seeing her so distraught, broke my heart. 

“I’m sorry, honey.” She says with that same humourless laugh that I despise. It doesn’t hold a candle to her real one. “I guess the long filming hours and going back and forth between Silo and promoting Dune has gotten to me more than I thought.” She sighs and rubs her eyes. 

“Maybe I could-” I’m interrupted by a knock on her trailer door. As she goes to open it, I hear voices, before she reappears on the screen, to end the call no doubt. 

“I’m sorry baby, they’re waiting for me in the writers’ room. I’ll talk to you later, ya?” I nod softly, the lump in my throat preventing me from speaking. She smiles at me before ending the call. 

As I stare at the hotel’s ceiling, I make a decision. 

———-

The second I step outside the airport, I’m greeted by the seemingly permanent English rain. It didn’t take me long, after my call with Rebecca had ended to get my things in order and get on a flight to the UK, where she was filming. 

Thankfully, the press tour for my movie had ended, because that would have put me in a very difficult situation, what with having to cancel some appearances. My girlfriend was sad, and nothing was going to stop me from getting to her. 

As I got into the cab that my assistant had arranged for me, I felt grateful that no reporters were around to hound me. It was still quite early and my disguise of a hoodie and sunglasses protected me long enough from the sight of the few of them lingering around. 

I didn’t spend much time at the hotel. Just enough for a shower and a change of clothes, before I was once again back on the road towards her filming location. I was let into the premises without too much of a hassle. I had the foresight to reach out to Rex’s assistant on the flight over and she had been able to grant me access, and before long I was being led to my girlfriend’s trailer by her assistant. 

“She just finished filming so she’s already in her trailer. I didn’t tell her you were coming as you asked, so she’ll be quite surprised.” She talked quietly. 

It was still early morning on set, some people were either starting to wake up or getting in from filming all night.

“How has she been doing?” I had a vague idea, but I wanted to hear it from someone who was with her when I couldn’t. 

“She’s been exhausting herself a lot. The press tour for Dune is over, but she’s still doing a lot with filming and being an executive director here.” She said sadly, and I nodded. “I’m glad you’re here Y/n. It’ll do her good to see you. I cleared her schedule for the day, so you could at least get some rest together. I know you’ve been busy too. I spoke to your assistant.” She said sternly and I rolled my eyes. These two. 

We arrived at the trailer and my heart started beating a little faster. “Thanks, Kelly, I owe you one,” I said to the assistant as I slipped inside the trailer. 

It didn’t take me long to find her around the vast camper. She was in bed, seemingly asleep. I approached her quietly and sat on the other side which had been left untouched. The side of the bed I usually slept on at home. 

I rubbed her shoulder gently, to not scare her. She opened her eyes softly and looked around, slightly disoriented before settling on me. I smiled. 

“Hi, my love,” I whispered. She stared at me for a few seconds, before sitting up and grabbing my face with both hands. 

“Y/n/n?” She said with wide eyes. “Are you really here?” She asked, roaming over my face and caressing my cheeks as if to make sure she wasn’t dreaming. 

“I’m here, Rex,” I replied with a smile before she latched herself to me in a hug, making me laugh. 

“How? Why?” She asked in the crook of my neck.

“You sounded so sad on FaceTime, I had to make sure you were okay. Plus, I missed you - so I grabbed the first flight here.” I explained as I tightened my hug and kissed her forehead. 

“Thank you.” She whispered. 

“Let’s get some sleep, and then we can talk about what you’re feeling. Okay?” I felt her nod and rearranged our positions so we were lying down. She immediately spooned me. 

For the first time in months, we slept together peacefully. 

—-------------------------

When I woke up, I felt much more at peace. I slowly opened my eyes with a smile, one which widened when I met the eyes of my girlfriend.

“You’re staring,” I whispered, my smile not leaving my face.

She put a hand on my cheek and caressed softly, before leaning down to put her lips on mine. Once we separated, she put her forehead on mine.

“How are you feeling?” I mumbled, not wanting to break the trance we were in.

“How are you feeling? She mumbled back, and I smiled.

“Better now that I’m here.” she rolled her eyes and scoffed. 

“Sap,” she said before taking a break. “Last night, I- It was a lot wasn’t it.” she finished. 

“No, you expressing how you feel will never be a lot or too much,” I added hurriedly. “It just kinda felt like you were on the verge of ending things,” I said quietly, I felt my heart beating widely as I held my breath. 

“Ending things? Y/n. Y/n/n, look at me.” she said as she grabbed my face in both hands forcing me to look at her. “I. Love. You. and it’s because I love you that I am finding our current situation so hard. Not being able to be with you or have you with me in front of everybody to celebrate our achievements. Or how we have to act single or like we’re just friends. I hate reading about the people they’re linking you to romantically. I just want to scream ‘She’s mine. Back off.’ And it’s kinda killing me.” she said as she leaned against the headboard. 

“I am yours,” I said as I grabbed her hands, willing myself not to cry. 

“I know baby. Just like I know you understand and feel the same way,” she said as I looked down. We stayed quiet for a moment, thinking of our predicament and what was being stolen from us. 

“The Oscars,” I suddenly said with renewed hope, as she looked at me in confusion. “I know we’re both technically going with our own cast - but would you go with me as my date,” I asked before quickly adding. “Unless - maybe our agents are right and we sh-” she interrupted me as I felt the doubt take over. 

“They’re not. And we should have never let them silence our love,” she said. “Of course, I’ll go with you. We’ll pose on the red carpet, I’ll kiss you in front of the camera lights and when you win - no one will cheer louder than me,” she said with a wide smile. I was quick to tackle her to the bed, kissing her all over her face. 

Her laughter made my heart sing. 

—-------------

This was not how I wanted the day to go. I was supposed to wake up bright and early, have some breakfast from her favourite cafe in the city delivered to her hotel room at the same time that she would receive the huge bouquet I had ordered weeks in advance.  Then, as we both got ready in our own hotel, we’d be texting like teenagers going on a first date, right until the red carpet. There, I’d see her and rush to her without a care in the world. I would tell her how beautiful she looks and we’d pose for pictures and kiss. Interviewers would have questions about our relationship, and we’d laugh our way through them. Rebecca, answering with her usual charm and wit, and me with heart eyes solely focused on her. 

Instead, my flight from Toronto had been delayed and I was rushing to get ready. I wouldn’t make it to the red carpet on time, with this traffic, only being able to slide in as the awards started. 

I had spoken to Rex when I landed and obviously, she hadn’t been happy.

“Hi, honey! Where are you, it’s kinda loud,” she said joyfully. I could hear the rushing around as her glam team worked. 

“I’m at the airport,” I said and closed my eyes, as there was silence on the other end. 

“I’m guessing you’re not going to make it to the red carpet?” she asked, and my lack of answer confirmed the statement. “Of course, it would’ve been too easy. It was stupid to hope th-” She cut herself off and let out a sigh. 

“Rex, don’t say that. This is nothing, we still hav-” she interrupted me as I tried to fix things desperately.

“I have to go. I’ll see you there.” and with that, she ended the call. 

She hadn’t answered any of my calls or replied to my texts since then. I wanted to believe that they had taken her phone away so they could focus on getting ready, but my anxiety was telling me something else. 

The car rolled up to the venue and I was quickly rushed inside and to my seat as the host was in the middle of his opening monologue. 

“And here comes Y/n L/n, everyone. She’s nominated for best leading actress tonight, ladies and gentlemen.” the audience clapped and I tried to calm my heart as my face appeared on the big screens. But the host wasn’t quite done with me, yet. “Doesn’t she look beautiful? Straight from a fairytale. Although, if I recall correctly, Cinderella rushed out of the ball, not to it.” he said as the audience laughed and I felt myself wanting to die. 

Thankfully he moved on, and the ceremony started. I was almost breaking my neck trying to find Rebecca, and when I did, I tried to catch her eyes - to convey how sorry I was. But she never glanced my way. I was so lost in thought that I would have missed my category coming up if it wasn’t for my costar grabbing my hand in support. 

I held my breath as the nominees were listed. And when I heard my name being called, I felt myself freeze, before being lifted in a hug and passed around from one costar to another. I willed myself to put one foot in front of another as I approached the podium under the congratulations and applause. 

I was almost to the stage when I glanced left and saw Rebecca’s face with a wide smile, clapping widely. That’s one promise that had been kept today. 

She looked beautiful, and it was as if I were in a trance as I approached her. Before I knew it, I was standing in front of her. She looked at me with a soft smile and with anticipation in her eyes, and that was all the invitation I needed to kiss her in front of all of Hollywood. That was another promise kept. 

And later on, when I posed for pictures with my Oscar and I danced at the after party, she was right there with me, as we kept our promises to each other. 

—-------------

“Hi, I’m Y/n L/n and I’ll be reading your tweets,” I said with a smile as I reached into the fish bowl for the first one. 

“Okay, this one is from @lesbianstan2000: Do you think Rebecca Ferguson uses The Voice on Y/n L/n?” I read before letting out a laugh. “She doesn’t need to. I’ll happily do whatever she asks.” I say as I wink into the camera. 

[baddestbittyontheblock]

february fic recs (2/2)

✦ dividers by @saradika-graphics, @gigittamic, @plutism ✦

Ⳋ᧙ hi everyone!! i've read a ton of fics this month, so i hope you all enjoy my faves of february!! Ⳋ᧙ ⑅part 1⑅

I made 2 post's for february cause it was too long lol

ᖭི༏ᖫྀ remember to like and reblog the works you enjoy in order to support each incredible writer!! ᖭི༏ᖫྀ

Ⳋ᧙ however, make sure you read the information on each story themselves such as triggers & warnings Ⳋ᧙

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tlou

ellie williams

❀᧓ ellie fic by @elslvrsworld bbf!ellie x curious!reader | men dni, swearing, kissing, suggestive, brief mention of weed, corruption kink (if u squint), no smut (yet ;p) player!ellie, kind of innocent!reader, 1.6k words

-your brothers best friend.

❀᧓ in the pale moonlight by @sweetmourninglambie e. williams x fem! reader | weed usage lol, thigh riding, established relationship, clothed sex i guess, high sex (?), reader is a femme, fluff, kinda dom! ellie and sub! reader, and pet names, 2.7k

-the familiar sound of ellie’s lighter flickering to life caught your attention, enough that you turned away from the movie she had put on for the two of you to watch together.

❀᧓ late by @tashasbabe ellie williams x reader | profanity, strap rubbing, masturbation

-“i’m still thinking about you.”

❀᧓ ellie blurb by @moonalumi high sub!top ellie williams x reader | ELLIE BEGGING ELLIE BEGGING GUYS, fingering (r and e receiving) they do it to each other at the same time, reader and ellie also compete for dominance kinda, ma/mama kink

-a puff of smoke invades your nose and a coughing ellie causes you to lift up from your resting place on her chest.

❀᧓ ellie blurb by ^ ellie williams x reader | rough strap on sex from the back (r receiving)

-reader w ellies name tattooed on her lower back and when she surprises ellie w it ellie straps her from the back.

❀᧓ ellie blurb by ^ ellie williams x reader | nsfw 18+, scissoring/tribbing, ellie calling u mama

-messy nasty car sex w sub!top ellie

❀᧓ a dare to stupid by @undressrehearsal ellie williams x reader | nsfw, tlou au, college!ellie/reader, mentions of drugs, alcohol, drunk sex, oral (r receiving), 7.5k

-a drunken game of truth or dare overtakes your study session

❀᧓ ellie fic by @elslvrsworld f1 driver!ellie x girlfriend!reader | men dni, 2.0k words, porn w/ plot (kindof), wlw sex, oral (e!receiving), degradation (pretty vanilla), + praise, pet names (baby, mama, princess, etc;) vulgarity, profanity, dom!ellie, sub!reader, riding (r!receiving), smacking (like a lil tap), ellie refers to strap as her cock, overstimulation, nipple sucking, mating press (r!receiving), black reader, angry!ellie kinda dirtyy hollon

-ellie loses a race just by a second and needs a to place her anger somewhere.

marvel

wanda maximoff

❀᧓ her favorite drug by @scarletlizzard wanda x fem!reader | minors dni, drug use (marijuana), smoking, smut, cunnilingus, fingering, strap on use (r receiving), fluff

-your girlfriend is a stoner. one night, you decide you finally want to try some.

❀᧓ mind games by @wandasverison wanda maximoff x fem!reader | 18+, two second mommy kink, slight electrocution (if that’s even what you’d call it), smut for sure, oh yeah mind reading (major), mind altering? (slight? not really, just trippy Wanda powers)

-gf!wanda maximoff; reader makes a joke about Wanda invading their mind while they have sex, Wanda takes it a little too seriously and y/n makes it up to her with apologies and a little seduction.

natasha romanoff

❀᧓ let's run away by @marvelfilth natasha romanoff x f!reader

-it's your wedding day and you can't be seen with natasha

the bear

carmen berzatto

❀᧓ dad!carmen blurb by @gxtitobxby dad!carmen berzatto x reader

-i’m thinking of his little daughter one night, sitting at the kitchen table with her hair wet from the shower, brushed back and leaving a damp spot on the back of her pyjama shirt, and she’s having some fruit for dessert while you wash dishes and carmen prepares her lunch for school tomorrow, and out of nowhere she asks absentmindedly “daddy could you pack some extra please?”

❀᧓ the feeling by @thebearer carmen berzatto x reader | 18+minors dni. mentions of a gun and alcohol but not in a bad way lol? established relationship. slight mentions of a dom/sub dynamic. language. but really just fluff fluff fluff &lt;3

-a little tipsy, definitely hungry, and missing carmen, you find your way to the restaurant after closing to see him.

❀᧓ cute blurb by ^ carmen berzatto x reader

-carmy’s gf being dropped off at carmy’s restaurant (after closing) after another girls night, and she’s so drunk that she doesn’t recognize carmy for a second

❀᧓ sixth sense by ^ carmen berzatto x reader

-carmy has a sixth sense for when his gf hasn’t eaten. Even on the days where she has no headache, no aching tummy, he just takes one look at her and makes that one face and is like “Are you fucking kidding me?”

❀᧓ treat me tonight by @answer2jeff carmen berzatto x reader | fluffy smut, fem!reader, oral (fem receiving), piv sex (unprotected), both reader and carmen have a bit of a praise kink, brief hairpulling, the "L-word," established relationship, gets a little rough towards the end, back scratching, porn with no real plot

-"try it,"

❀᧓ girl dinner by @mayfieldss carmen berzatto x reader

-"what the fuck is girl dinner?"

❀᧓ more, more, more by @atrwriting carmen berzatto x coworker!reader | SMUT!, alcohol consumption, alcohol consumption with sex, smoking, p in v penetration, work relationships, overstimulation, carmen berzatto being an absolute mind blowing fuck

-you didn’t really know how it happened.

❀᧓ a little taste by @caramelberzatto carmen berzatto x reader | 18+, swearing, p in v, etc. afab!reader. no use of pronouns

-he called your name through the dark apartment, but it went unheard from where you laid, face down.

❀᧓ sunshine baby by ^ pre-fatherhood dad!carm x fem!reader | mildy suggestive content, pregnancy. fem!reader, use of fem pronouns

-the temperatures in the past week had sky-rocketed, leaving you sweating with even the slightest amount of movement, and that wasn’t taking into account the hot flashes that came with pregnancy.

❀᧓ yours, cb. by @lovebitters carmen berzatto x reader | fluff, 1.02k

-carmen writes a letter to you the day before he proposes, reflecting on your relationship.

marauders era

sirius black

❀᧓ sirius blurb by @wzrd-wheezes sirius black x reader | smut

-reader who has a hard time cumming and sirius helps with that

❀᧓ little lies by @amiableness sirius black x fem!reader | smut 18+, male masturbation, oral fem receiving, fingering, unprotected sex (pls be so careful!), reader wears a bikini top, and jealousy, 11.4k

-james asks sirius and y/n to pretend to date after he blurts out they are to lily.

james potter

❀᧓ late night snacks by @shiftermia james potter x reader, platonic!peter pettigrew x reader | fluff

-where james catches you and peter in the kitchens

❀᧓ end game by @pretty-little-mind33 james potter x slytherin!fem!reader | fluff/hurt and comfort, rivalry, chaser!captain!james, chaser!captain!reader, secret relationship (previous enemies to lovers), injuries, swearing, protective!james

-playing quidditch against your secret boyfriend is usually fun…

remus lupin

❀᧓ a christmas special by @moonstruckme remus lupin x fem!reader | mentions of alcohol, smut mdni, p in v, oral (fem receiving), praise, inexperienced reader, shy little idiots in love, 11k

-after christmas eve at remus' flat, thick snowfall prevents you from going home. he's more than happy to host you

❀᧓ grumpy x sunshine by @underoospeterparker  grumpy!remus lupin x sunshine!fem!reader

-"why the annoyed look, moons?" sirius laughed, nudging his best friend. "problems in paradise?"

poly!marauders

❀᧓ ❝i am half-agony, half-hope. . . i have loved none but you.❞ by @sunnami (1/2) poly!marauders x reader, (james potter x reader, lily evans x reader, remus lupin x reader, and sirius black x reader.) | reader is referred to as she/her and a mother throughout the whole fic[!], reader is a violent gremlin who craves blood but the marauders love you for that, implied child abuse[!], mentions of blood and violence[!], disgustingly sappy poetic fluff, no angst, happy ending, not proofread we die like finnick odair

-how the marauders loved you in their time. featuring harry potter the time-traveller and sixth-wheel.

❀᧓ ❝time will tell.❞ (2/2) by ^ poly!mauraders x reader, (james potter x reader, sirius black x reader, lily evans x reader, and remus lupin x reader.) | reader is referred to mum, with she/her pronouns[!], canon-typical violence [!], canon-typical deaths mentioned[!], very brief marauders as soldiers of the order[!], creepy old men being creepy[!], child abuse[!], pureblood arranged marriages, a minor character expresses wanting to die[!], depressed and traumatized slytherins, the capital is important[!], themes of misogyny [!], teen boys fuck around and find out there are consequences to their actions, THERE IS ACTUALLY A LOT OF FLUFF, angst, 9.5k

-❝you are loved. and harry thinks there is no better description that that.❞

❀᧓ you'd be the love of my life when i was young by ^ poly!marauders x reader (sirius x reader, remus x reader, lily x reader, and james x reader) | slight angst, fluff, lucius malfoy, happy ending

-gryffindors wear their heart on their sleeve when they fall in love. slytherins keep their heart locked far away to keep it from breaking.

❀᧓ possessive by @ellecdc poly!wolfstar x fem!reader | slight injury, nothing major, fluff

-“okay, well the wound is closed but there’s not much i can do about the bruising or the blood on your shirt.”

❀᧓ cute fic by ^ poly!WolfStar x fem!reader | territorial boyfriend, slight jealousy, dom/sub dynamics if you squint but SFW

-you weren’t hiding. not really...

but you were also sort of kind of definitely hiding.

❀᧓ funny blurb by @luveline poly!marauders x fem!reader | mdni please!, 1k

-“what is that?”

[slutforsilverfoxes]

What Happens in New York…

You took in a deep breath as soon as you crossed through the back door of the restaurant and into the parking lot, arms outstretched while you enjoyed the brisk New York air, and declared, “I gotta get me a new job.”

“What?” Sean, your best friend and roommate of several years, taunted from behind you, making up for your head start in a few long strides. “Waiting on rich people not cutting it for you anymore?”

“Waiting on rich, crusty old white men and their wives who seem to drop in age each year isn’t cutting it anymore,” you corrected his statement. “Now gimme that helmet,” you demanded with grabby fingers. “I wanna go home, watch Marvel movies, and finish that bottle of wine we opened on Monday.”

“Speaking of old white men,” the blonde started with a laugh, tossing you your helmet before sitting astride his motorcycle and strapping his own on, “my brother’s in town. Mind if I stop by to say hi?”

“Ah, yes, the G-man,” you nodded all-knowingly, tucking your legs up under you and getting settled behind Sean’s lithe body. “Is he seeing anyone?” Sean purposefully revved the bike and pretended like he couldn’t hear you, so you tapped aggressively on his visor until he turned to give you the stink eye. “I said is he seeing anyone, you dick?”

“What’s it to you, huh?”

“Well, the way you describe him, he’s probably got a nice pension and benefits going with all the hours he works. I could make a cute housewife!”

“Funny,” your best friend deadpanned. He used his foot to raise the kickstand before guiding the bike out to the main road. “Too bad for him, ‘cause you’re my cute housewife.”

“Gross.”

His ensuing laughter got lost in the New York traffic.

—————

“Do you wanna come in with me?” Sean asked as you hopped off the bike and stretched your legs outside of the precinct.

“Nah,” you shook your head in response and pulled out your phone. “You go ahead and see big bro. I’m taking full advantage of my allotted yard time.”

The blonde rolled his eyes and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “You’re a riot. Be back soon.”

“Don’t get in a fight,” you called out lazily amid a yawn, breathing in the cold winter air to ward off your exhaustion.

Several minutes later, you were scrolling idly through your phone while you waited for your friend, leaning against his bike for support and stifling yet another yawn when the hairs at the nape of your neck stood at attention, and you suddenly felt the clarity of alertness.

“Hey there,” a voice called out from nearby, and you studiously ignored the lackluster greeting. It was followed by a whistle that was evidently supposed to woo you, and you resisted the urge to roll your eyes, stuffing one hand into your pocket and letting out a disgruntled noise when you weren’t rewarded by your headphones. “This your bike, little lady?”

“Why, you in the market?” you barked back, finally raising your gaze to meet that of an NYPD officer.

“Maybe I am,” he responded with a smile that set you even more on edge. “Wanna take me for a test ride?” His buddy behind him laughed at the innuendo, and this time you did roll your eyes.

“Hard pass.”

“C’mon, baby, you look like you could use some fun in your life,” he continued, and when he took a step closer, your hackles rose. Deciding that my best friend’s brother is an FBI agent wasn’t going to cut it, you answered coolly, “My boyfriend’s an FBI agent working in your office up there, and I don’t think he’d take kindly to you propositioning me outside your precinct. Honor and integrity and all that, right?” You forced your mouth into a smile that dropped when the officer removed the badge pinned to his jacket.

“I’m off the clock, sweetheart. And I don’t see your boyfriend anywhere.”

“Turn around.”

The rumble of an unfamiliar voice had you looking over the officer’s head to find the frowning visage of a handsome brunette with striking features. Sean came to your side protectively, murmuring, “Hey, you okay?” as the officer turned to look up at the imposing older Hotchner and stammered, “I’m- I’m sorry, I didn’t know she was with you.”

The brunette tilted his head to one side and narrowed his eyes, and the air around him positively crackled with power. Quietly, he challenged, “And why should that matter?” As the officer opened and closed his mouth like a fish out of water, he took a step closer and dropped his voice even lower. “Go home to your wife, Officer-” His eyes darted over to the name tag before continuing, “-McNally, and be ready for a disciplinary hearing at some point this week, because I will be speaking to your supervisor directly.”

He nodded deferentially, refusing to make eye contact, and tried to scurry away, but Sean’s older brother barked, “Officer McNally! Isn’t there something you’d like to say to my girlfriend?”

“Sorry!” he called sheepishly, heat rising to his cheeks despite the chill outside. “Sorry, ma’am, won’t happen again.”

Sean and his brother watched until the officer and his friend had turned the corner, then directed their attention to you. “I hope that wasn’t your introduction to New York’s finest,” the older Hotchner remarked with a frown, holding his hand out to you. “I’m Aaron. Your boyfriend, apparently,” he tacked on, lips twitching to fight a smile.

A blush crept across your cheeks as you took his hand. “Y/N, Sean’s best friend. Sorry about all…that,” you said through a laugh, gesturing broadly at the scene that had just taken place.

“Please don’t apologize. It’s nice to be name dropped for a good reason,” Aaron responded warmly, this time allowing his mouth to turn upward in a genuine smile. Sean coughed pointedly beside you and you hurried to pull your hand from his brother’s grip, your face growing even warmer at the realization you’d been standing there holding his hand for several seconds like an absolute buffoon.

“Home, Sean- we should- gotta go,” you stammered out, wincing at your brain literally short circuiting from a single touch.

“Wow,” Sean breathed out through a laugh. “You actually broke her, Aaron.” Turning to you, he faux-whispered, “So you really do have a thing for older guys?”

“Woah, hey!” You yell to be heard through laughter in the present. “You did not say that,” you call your best friend on his bullshit, pointing a fork threateningly in his direction. Aaron gently lowers your wrist as you continue, “And I wasn’t that awestruck, okay? He was handsome, but I wasn’t like, drooling, guys, c’mon-”

“Maybe just a little,” your fiancé teases, eyes widening playfully when you turn the silverware on him next.

“Derek.” You turn to Aaron’s friend and declare, “You’re getting upgraded to best man and young Hotchner over there is being relegated to flower girl.”

Sean winks at you from his temporary spot on the floor where he’s regaling your friends and families with the story of how he introduced you two- at least, his version of the story. “Just so you know, I happen to look cute in a dress.”

“Have some more champagne, honey,” Aaron instructs with a smile as he refills your flute. You dutifully take a sip and mumble around the glass, “You’re not giving this speech tomorrow, Sean.”

“Speech?” Your best friend barks out a laugh, and you narrow your eyes at him in suspicion. “Baby girl, I’ve got a whole PowerPoint documenting your journey into the family, don’t you worry. Pictures and everything.”

“Aaron,” you whine. “Make it stop.”

“You really know how to pick ‘em,” Aaron laughs before pressing a kiss to your pouting lips.

“Clearly,” you grumble. “You Hotchner men will be the death of me.”

—————

[A/N: Why did I write this? Who’s to say? I love a lil brother vibe, might have to explore more of Sean’s bff as Aaron’s girl 👀 Hope somebody enjoyed this crack]

AH tags 🖤 @gothwifehotchner

[juiles]

All to well

Plot: idk. have fun!

Type: angst and fluff

Warnings: i am in no way saying that this is how all autistic people are!! This fic is based off my PERSONAL experience with autism and sensory overload. Please remember this as you read!!

Masterlist here!

Request here!

————————————————————————-

Being autistic has drawbacks for a normal person, but for an actress in Marvel movies, it was tough. I’m proud of who I am but I didn’t want the pitying looks, the comments or being stuck as only getting the “autistic” role so for my own sake, I’m not super open about it.

My parents are ashamed of it so they never told anyone and I was forced to mask anytime I was around anyone. Not even Scar knew, and she was my best friend, almost a mother figure to me. I didn’t want her to think any different of me. She’s known me since i was 7 and played her on screen adopted daughter in Iron Man 2.

We’re filming Endgame right now. I’m on my way to set with Scarlett. Today has been a rough day for me so far as my parents woke me up by screaming at me which then caused me to struggle in keeping my mask up. Scar picked me up and I’m already exhausted, I’ve caught myself stimming a few times and quickly stopped it.

When we pulled into the parking lot, i grabbed my bag and walked with her through set to our trailers where we left our stuff and we’re immediately shuffled to makeup and costumes.

“Oh shit…” I mutter staring at the costume in Erica’s hand. “I didn’t realize it was a fight scene today…”

“Babe.” Erica, my assistant and on set guardian says. She’s known about me since the first day which was when i was 7. “You’ve known about this for a week. Are you okay?”

“I’m super over stimulated right now…” I murmur tapping my leg in sets of 7, a common stim for me.

“Let’s do hair and makeup first okay? Keep you out of the costume until the last second okay?” I nod and the two of us move to hair and makeup where Scarlett is getting her hair done.

“Hey, where’s your costume kid?” She asks looking over at me.

“I uh-“ I glance at Erica who steps in for me quickly.

“It had a small tear in it so it’s getting fixed quickly.” Scarlet merely hums in response and I sit. Getting my wig on and makeup done is awful, having everyone touching me and all their voices so close to me ears. I feel a soft hand on my cheek and peek my eyes open to see Scar staring at me in concern.

“Stop grinding your jaw babe…” I release my jaw, not even realizing i had been doing it. “You okay love? You disappeared for a bit there.” I respond with a hum, my voice disappearing from within. “Let’s get your costume on and to set okay?”

I look around quickly and don’t see Erica, Scarlet must see the panic as she quickly says. “She got called away in an emergency. I’m going to be your guardian today.” I nod, feeling the panic bubble up in my chest, but give her a soft smile.

The two of us make our way to my trailer and she helps me quickly slip into the suit. I immediately want to rip it off as it’s skin tight and an uncomfortable material. It feels like it’s digging into my skin and pulling it away as if it’s velcro and my skin is the other side. I take a deep breath and come out to see Scar in costume waiting. “Ready?” I nod and we head to set where I realize it’s a busy day, all original 6 avengers, Lizzie, both Paul’s, Gwen and Cobie are all there. I internally groan as immediately, the girls are coming over to me and Scar talking a mile a minute. I stand next to Scarlett silently until Lizzie turns to me. “Hey kiddo. Ready to fight? We have to fly today.” My eyes widen for a moment before i force a smile and nod at the fake red head in front of me.

“What? Cat got your tongue?” This makes everyone around us laugh but it makes me feel awful. I have no voice, it comes and goes, when it’s gone, my parents ridicule me, I get hit. I look down as i feel my tears well up in my eyes and blink rapidly trying to will them away. I thank god silently when Joe calls us to places which means i get away from the now very suddenly concerned looking Scarlett, Lizzie and Cobie. I’m stuck with Renner as I get rigged up, the feeling of being sick suddenly appearing as more people touch me.

I feel the lump in my throat tighten and the feeling of the harness wrapped around me suddenly makes me feel like it’s constricting my breathing and everyone around me disappeared as my hands flung to the harness, in my panic my hands struggled with the buckle which just made me more infuriated and grunts started coming out as my tears blurred my vision.

I feel a set of hands on mine holding them down, i scream and rip mine away and start scratching at my throat trying to rip it open to get a breath. My eyes started blacking out and the last thing i see is Scarlett’s panicked face as she tries to grab at my hands before it all goes black.

Scarlett’s POV

I know something is off with y/n. Not off but just that she was different. I have had a feeling it was autism for a while now, today proved that to me.

She was silent the whole car ride to set, normally she’d be singing along the radio but she wouldn’t even let me turn it on today. As soon as we got to set she locked herself in her trailer without a word, the next time i saw her, she looked panicked and while she was getting her hair and makeup done she disappeared fully before i brought her back. She has days where she goes mute, she just calls them her bad days, they usually happen on days she has arguments with her parents but normally she can still communicate to me in different ways but today she was completely gone. It got worse as soon as she realized Erica was gone. Walking on to set, she tended up and i saw her tapping her thigh every once in a while. The comment that Lizzie made would normally make her laugh, her reaction today was off.

I watched her from the corner of my eye but had to look away for a second before i heard Renner.

“Y/N!! What are you doing?! You’re going to hurt yourself!” I whip my head around and my heart sinks as i see y/n struggling with her harness, her hands are shaking violently, tears streaming down her face, her eyes are glazed over. I bolt over and grab her hands gently.

“Y/n baby, stop. You’ve got to stop my love.” She rips her hands out of mine and starts clawing at her throat which is when i notice she’s not breathing properly. She’s barely able to get a small breath. Instincts kick in for me and i turn to the cast and crew crowding her. “Give her space. Now. I need someone to set up a dark room with minimal sound and her clothes she was wearing this morning as well as the blanket from my trailer. A cold cloth and her wig taken off.” I turn around as she starts to collapse, i grab her arm and quickly wrap an arm around her waist. “Now!”

It’s a bit of a blur after that honestly, the next thing i know, im alone with her in the green room after everything is unplugged and blankets are draped over the windows. Her wig is already off and someone hands me my blanket and her clothes before silently leaving. I help her unconscious body out of the suit and into her clothes before draping my weighted blanket over her body. I sit back and stare at her, not touching her at all but close enough if she needs me.

It felt like hours but looking at my watch, it shows it’s only been 20 minutes when she finally wakes up.

My heart is beating what feels like a million mile a minute with panic as i watch her blue eyes flutter open before she looks around the room for a moment. Her hand comes out of the blanket and she starts tapping her thigh again, her head nodding along to each tap. She squeezes her eyes shut and i can hear her voice mumbling. “I’m safe. I’m here. I’m y/n.” Over and over again, i quietly cough to get her attention and she quickly sits up and her head whips up to look at me with wide eyes, both hands start scratching at the other wrist. “Oh my god…”

“Baby, you are safe. It’s just me.”

“No… no… no no no no no no no no.” She started tugging her hair and rocking slightly. “They’re going to kill me… you aren’t supposed to know…”

I quickly scoot over and grab her hands before pulling her into my chest, she tenses for a moment before melting into my arms. “I can’t hide it anymore Scar…”

“I know baby… I know.” I mutter into her hair swaying us back and forth slightly.

“I’m autistic…”

“Oh baby i know…” She freezes and looks at me with wide eyes. I can ready the fear in her blue eyes. “You hide it really really well but I’m basically your mom my love. I had suspicions but didn’t want to push you into telling me. Today was too much.” She nods burying herself back into me. “I need you to know that I will always listen to you. That if you ever feel like that again, you can tell me and i’ll get you out of it. Baby seeing you pass out was terrifying. I need you to know that if you’re that overwhelmed, that you do not have to do all that.”

“But… my parents don’t want everyone knowing… they’re all gonna know now…” She mumbles into me, my heart cracks.

“Baby being autistic is not a bad thing. It makes you even more amazing. It’s not something to be ashamed of at all. You are allowed to be who you are. To stim when your emotions are too high. To have bad days. I am here to show you that.” I say looking her directly into her eyes. “I’m here to support you.”

Tears welled up in her eyes as she nodded quickly. She sat up and started tapping her thigh as she stared at me. “This is my favourite stim, it’s really subtle but it calms me down… i count the most important people in my life.” She then looks down at her hand as she taps each finger. “Scarlett.” Tap. “Lizzie.” Tap. “Renner.” Tap. “Gwen.” Tap. “Cobie.” Tap. “Rob.” Tap. “Rosie.” Tap. “It reminds me that you guys would love me, no matter how broken or weird i am because i know how much you care.” She looked up at me through her eyelashes. “Another one is tapping here.” She taps her chest right above her heart twice. “Right here.” She does the tap to each word. “This is where you sit in my body. I usually only do this one when I’m not wearing my necklace. Playing with that is the stim i can do out in public.” I pulled her into my arms again as I cried.

“Oh baby…”

“You’ve always been my safe space Scar…”

“And i will be your safe space for the rest of eternity.”

We sit in silence for a few minutes before she pulls away with a smile. “Thank you. For learning how to help me.”

“You are more than welcome my love. Let’s go home and have a calm day okay?” She nods before standing up, pulling my weighted blanket over herself. I stand and wrapping my arms around her waist, the two of us make our way out of the room to find Lizzie standing not too far away, crying into Gwyneths arms. Y/n instantly runs over to her and wraps her arms around the crying woman. Lizzie jumps before she turns and sees who it is and wraps the girl into her arms.

“I’m so sorry bug. I shouldn’t have made that comment. I know how bad your parents are.” Y/n shakes her head pulling back and squeezes Lizzie’s hands. “Liz that wasn’t what caused that.” She takes a glance back at me before taking a deep breath and looks back at Lizzie. “I’m autistic and I was overstimulated and everything was just too much. I won’t lie, the comment did hurt a little but i know you didn’t say it in a mean way. You didn’t hurt me, memories of my parents saying stuff hurt me. But not you.” Lizzie’s eyes widen and she glances at me before she nods breathing to calm herself down. “If you ever need to talk or are struggling you can talk to me bug.”

Y/n nods with a small smile. “I know Liz.”

“Hey. Me too.” We all turn our head to see Gwyneth with a pout on her face. “You scared the shit out of me kiddo. Never do that again. Understand?” She pulls y/n’s laughing form into her arms.

“I understand mother Paltrow.” She says making us all chuckle.

Y/n pulls away and biting her cheek looks at me. “I- i uh- I’m not ready to face everyone else yet…”

“They already left bug. It’s just us four left.” Lizzie said smoothing the crazy hair down on y/n’s head. “I couldn’t leave worried i hurt you and Gwyn couldn’t leave me alone but everyone else left to give you privacy. Scarlett went full mama bear mode and screamed at some people for trying to push her into anything. It was great.” Y/n chuckled, which brings a grin to my face.

“Of course you did. But i wouldn’t trade you for the world.”

“I love you too baby.” I say kissing her head softly.

[brooooswriting]

Hey can I request a fic with Jenna or Tara up to you but it’s like reader is not used to people listening and liking her rambling about something she’s passionate about like super hero’s and comics for example and then Jenna or Tara actually do listen without stopping her and saying she’s annoying and then reader gets all giddy and happy

Own world

Popular!Tara Carpenter x reader

“Did you see the Marvel movie I recommended? It’s really great, the way-“ you couldn’t even finish your sentence before your roommate turned away to talk to someone else which made your shoulder sink. This was quite common, your friends never really listened to you, no matter how important the topic was to you. You loved films, it was just a passion of yours as it gave you some sense of comfort in a shitty household. It was also something to do when everybody else was out but you stayed in due to anxiety. You never guessed today would be different.

“Which one? The new guardian of the galaxy?” A small brunette asked, you didn’t even notice her sit down. She must have sat down while you were quiet for a second after you were interrupted. “N-no, the black widow one” you mumbled out carefully, deciding to keep your sentences short, it minimized the risk of getting cut off. “That’s a great one, the Dynamic between Natasha and Yelena is awesome” she smiled at you. You took a second to look at the girl, she was familiar somehow, you believed that she was in your calculus lecture. “Yeah, it’s nice” you mumbled as you played with your water bottle, you guys had a break but you didn’t like eating in front of people. “And she has never watched it?” The girl asked causing you to shake your head, “well which other marvel movie would you recommend and why?” Your face lit up immediately, hers did too. “Oh, the new Thor movie is quite nice, it has a lot of comedy to it but still maintains a balance between jokes and actual storyline. But if you like leading female roles you should watch the new black panther…” you were, again, interrupted by your roommate who now just noticed the brunette in front of you.

“Omg Tara, when did you sit down? I didn’t even notice you, or I would have rescued you earlier” the side eye that was thrown your way was pretty hard but what was even harder was how the brunette, Tara it seems, laughed. You thought she was dearly interested but you were wrong. With disappointment settled into your chest you stood up and walked away, deciding to go back to your dorm room to read some comics you just got. You didn’t notice the way Tara watched you walk away.

The next time you saw her was the next day in your calculus lecture, she sat a row in front of you with two other girls and two guys, while you sat alone. You knew one of the girls that sat next to her, Mindy, she was in your lecture about film and you worked some project together. The short haired girl turned around and waved at you which made you smile as you waved back.

During the lecture you glanced at the group every now and then to notice the following things: 1. One of the guys was watching football while the other one was weirdly starring at Tara, 2. Mindy was asleep by now and her girlfriend was doing some work for another lecture and 3. Tara was clearly not getting shit down there and she was the next person that had to pretend, which made her panic.

“Psst, Tara” you mumbled lightly kicking her chair which made her turn, “come up here and I’ll explain it and give you my work” you told her looking straight ahead so the prof wouldn’t notice. In a matter of seconds the girl climbed over the table and sat next to you, “you’re my savior” she mumbled out as she scribbled your answers down while you explained why you did what. “Miss Carpenter, it’s your turn presenting” the prof called out causing her to stand up, she gave you one last look. You nodded at her as a signal of support.

“Wow, I gotta say I’m impressed. This is the best you’ve been the whole year, seems like you improved. Well, lecture is over” you quickly packed your bag and walked out before the brunette came back up but she seemed to be quick enough to still catch up outside. She stood next to you and grabbed your arm to bring you to a hold, “thanks, you really saved me there. Let me take you out for coffee as a thank you” she smiled at you as you two stood in the middle of the hall, people watching you. It was uncommon, someone as popular as Tara with someone as shy as you.

“You don’t have to, but thank you. I just saw you struggle so I thought I could help, and I’m happy I could, you really don’t though. Mr. Bakers exercises are pretty hard most of the time so I totally get why you struggled” Tara watched you ramble with a small smile, she liked when you rambled. She had been watching you for a couple of weeks now, in the lecture and out on campus, or when you were with Mindy. “As much as I like your rambling, I’m taking you out for coffee. You still gotta tell me a bit” she grabbed your wrist again and pulled you into a caffe on the other side of the street.

She ordered and after a small argument also payed your food. “So, are you at the frat parts tonight?” She asked as you walked over the campus with coffee in hand, “no” you mumbled as you played with the cup in your hand. “Why not? I bet it’s gonna be fun” she smiled at you, she liked your shyness. “I don’t really like big parties especially if I barely know anyone, too many people and I still have stuff do to for the classes” you explained, “you would know me and Mindy and your roommate is gonna be there too right?” You only shrugged which caused her to drop the conversation.

“Tara, nice to see you” one girl you didn’t know called out which caused the two of you to stop. “Hey, how are you?” Tara asked the girl as she gave her a quick hug, you zoned out while they talked not noticing that they walked away, but it seems like they also didn’t notice that you didn’t walk with them. When you zoned back again they were kinda gone already, so you decided to turn around and head to the dorms throwing your coffee into the trash.

It was 10:30 pm when you sat in your dorm watching the Hawkeye series again until there was a knock on the door which confused you, your roommate only left 20 minutes ago there was no way she would be back already. So you finally stood up and opened the door to see Tara in a short dress with makeup on. She looked ready to go, so why would she be here? “Hi” she only said as she looked up at you, “what can I do for you?” You asked her as you looked over her shoulder. “You disappeared today, I wanted to check on you” you breathed out a laugh at her words, “you left with somebody else. I though you wanted to go to the party” she sighed as she looked into the dorm. “I did but I think I’d rather stay with you” your face bushed so hard that you tried to cover your face as best as possible. Nonetheless you took a step to the side to let the girl enter your dorm where she was quick to look around your side.

There were posters from the marvel movies and some pictures on the wall, the shelf’s were filled with comics and some books. “So what are we watching? She asked as she sat on your bed, making herself at home, “I was watching the Hawkeye series but we can watch whatever” you mumbled as you sat next to her. “Is that with the guy who shoots arrows?” You laughed a bit as you sat down next to her, “yeah, Hawkeye or Clint Barton but it isn’t just about him”

Five minutes later you were rambling about what kind of impact someone like Kate bishop had on the whole phase and what could possibly happen between Yelena and her. You were talking on and on without any pause, a smile on your face and your hands wildly gesticulating. “I mean it’s just something different you know? And the way they keep on putting more women into the leading roles just gives us as women a totally new opportunity” and again you just kept on talking until you suddenly stopped and just looked at the brunette in front of you. “What’s wrong? Why’d you stop?” She asked as she scanned your face, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to talk the whole time and annoy you” you said as you tuned away from her a bit. “What? Why’d you say that? I was very interested, come on keep talking” she encouraged you with a hand on your leg. “Really?” The shock on your face made her laugh a bit, “yeah”

So you kept talking, you were all giddy, smiling and laughing as you explained why you were so invested and she listened, sometimes asking questions but all with a smile on her face. “Do you maybe wanna, you know, stay and watch it with me? I could lend you something to wear if you want” she smiled brightly as she nodded.

Ten minutes later you two laid in bed in joggers and hoodies, her makeup was washed off showing her natural beauty. The Hawkeye series was playing in the background, “thank you” your voice was small and she wouldn’t have heard you if you weren’t laying so close. “Why?” She asked as she looked at you instead of you laptop, “because you listened to me, people barely do” you explained which made her sigh. The younger carpenter wasn’t sure what to say so instead she just shuffled closer and cuddled up to you.

Somewhere between the episode the two of you fell asleep, cuddled up with the series playing quietly. You woke up the next morning with a sticky note next to your pillow, it was from Tara.

“I had to go back before my sister kills me. Lunch at 2pm? If not call me

Xxx-xxx-xxx”

You smiled at the note as you got ready.

After some torturing lectures it was finally 2 pm. You went outside to find Tara and her group sitting at a table, she immediately waved you over. “Y/n, good that you’re here. Marvel or DC?” Mindy asked as Tara pulled you to sit next to her. “Marvel all the way” you answered causing Mindy and the younger carpenter to high-five. “No, so not true. DC has way better storylines” Chad said, his twin immediately booing him. “Y/n, tell him how he is wrong” the girl next to you said, but you were to self conscious about your rambling. “It’s fine, trust me” she mumbled as she wrapped her arms around your waist which gave you the comfort to start talking.

This was the first time in years that you finally had someone who wanted to listen to you. You discussed the topics with the others while Tara gazed up at you like you hung the stars.

Again you mumbled a “thank you” to her which made her kiss your cheek. You blushing again

She couldn’t wait to take you on a date.

You were scared of the way people were going to react.

[avaf00rdxx]

With my best friend

Caitlin Foord x Reader

Warnings : slight mention of anxiety, break up

Summary : in which lifelong Best friends slowly come to senses about their close connection to their number one person.

————————————————————————

2011

“hi I’m y/n” you said to a shorter girl who looked just as nervous as you.

“Yeah I know. They said your name before”

“Oh yeah of course” you said pulling your hand away as you had it out to shake. Pretty formal for 17 year olds. She then grabbed your hand from my side back up again and shook it “Caitlin”

You smiled as you both focused you attention onto the information evening of the Matilda’s new squad members.

——————

2011

“Caitlin you did it I flipping knew it!” You squealed to your roommate. She was starting for Australia, for the first time of her career and you couldn’t have been prouder.

“And I get to start with you!” She squealed as you both jumped around your hotel room.

You two were both in New Zealand when you were called about you both starting together. You made your debut last week, coming on in the last 5 minutes. But Caitlin would make her debut starting.

The game the next day: you managed to receive a pass from Clare as you ran up the field. You felt no one too close on you but you spotted Caitlin completely open just close enough to the goal, possibly not even close enough to you. You still passed to her just near the goal, a pretty impressive pass, as she sent a header straight into the back of the net. Slipping just past the keepers hands. She yelled in excitement as you jumped straight into your best friends arms.

“You did it cait!” You screamed holding her face in your hands before the rest of your Australian teammates jumped onto the two of you, causing you to collapse.

——————

2020 (quite the time jump ngl)

“Hey you” you felt arms wrap around your sweaty neck. It was your girlfriend Ona. You had just beaten her Spanish team 2-1 in your match tonight. You celebrated with your respected team after your win while ona had a chat with hers. After signing shirts and posters and doing your laps around the stadium. You were standing around with Macca, Caitlin and Alanna before your girlfriend greeted all of you.

You turned around to give her a big hug, wrapping your arms tightly around her neck. “Proud of you” she whispered as she kissed your cheek.

“Even more proud of you”

She smiled at you before you both turned back around to your three best friends “hey guys” ona said before hugging all of them.

Caitlin’s POV

Ona seemed brilliant for y/n. I don’t see her smile that much than when she’s with her. But there’s just something about her, something sour that turns me off about when she’s with y/n.

I hugged her lightly, smiling. Knowing how much this meant for y/n. Seeing us get along with her. I’ve seen Ona put stress on y/n, it’s from the long distance. Some nights in our hotel room she has been teary about how difficult it gets. I think it’s that that is bugging me.

——————

2021

“So fucking stupid” y/n sobbed into Alannas arms as we were in her hotel room. At another camp.

The long distance no longer worked for ona and my best friend. “Like it’s like all that trying and effort for the long distance wasn’t even worth it!” She exclaimed into Alan as shoulder.

“Oh Sweet Girl it was I promise it was” alanna soothed to her.

I did feel terrible. The couple had been together since when they met at Barca in 2018. And everyone loved them together. My heart ached at y/ns state. Soaking Alannas top, while Mac ran her hands through her hair. I said some words to her as I sat close to her.

After about 4 hours of room service, and 2 marvel movies. Y/n and me saw the other two girls out. As I shut the door, y/n pulled me close into a bone crushing hug. I wrapped my arms around her torso.

“Thank you for that. Love you” she said before pulling away and hopping into the shower.

—————

July 2021

Y/n’s pov

I gripped tightly onto Caitlin’s hand as the plane went through multiple stages of turbulence over the last hour. For the past 10 years, you had always held her hands during bumpy travel together. It just soothed your plane anxiety.

———

The final whistle blew as you fell to your knees. Hands covering your face. It was the semi finals, you had made it. And you went down 1-0 to Sweden. Tears slowly tried to fall out of your eyes. As you quickly brushed them away. Once finding yourself again moments later and standing up. You hugged some of the Swedish girls and then embraced Sam in a tight hug. Both showing how proud of each other you were. When in Sam’s arms, you looked over her shoulder to find your best friend standing by herself looking up to the sky in disbelief. You let yourself out of Sam’s arms before smiling at her then jogging over to Caitlin. She didn’t notice you at first as you pulled her towards you to giver her a huge hugger. Her head hung low on your shoulder, “I’m proud of you. And for that goal” you whispered.

“Thanks” she said holding you tighter. It was slightly disappointing. You were so close to reaching that gold medal, but just slipped before the last step.

————

The very short plane back to London was soothing. A smooth trip with sleepy girls. So it was very relaxing. Caitlin very quickly fell asleep in her seat next to you. She slept with her mouth hung open which made you giggle. You quickly snapped a photo before posting it to your close friends instagram story. You found yourself in your camera roll looking at the photo just taken. Then the suggestions of Caitlin box came up under the photo. You clicked on it as the photos app took you to all of the photos of you and Caitlin. From as long as you remembered. You smiled remembering the memories. She really has been the glue to your whole life.

—————

A/N

Ok so there is no romance between Caitlin and reader in this. But there be part 2 super soon so hold your nickers.

Luv yall💗💗

[cinnamostar]

01: home

part two.

pairing : minho x gn!reader

summary : minho had waited in front of the entrance of the forest for you until the sky darkened, his eyes welling up with tears as he came to accept that you had forgotten about him that day. maybe you needed to go home that day and forgot to tell him before school, he thought. although, he realized something far greater than that had happened as he arrived at the front of your house, the for sale sign standing in the yard without a trace of human presence in the home.

wc : 3.8k

cw : childhood friends, arguing, angst, sadness, mentions of bullying + racism/xenophobia, mentions of alcohol, idk what else

a/n : tried a new writing styles, lmk what you think!!! also pls let me know if you guys are interested in a part 2 :3 this fic is very much inspired by the movie past lives heheheh

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The low buzzing of mosquitoes filled your ears while you wandered down the dirt trail with trepidation as the vast forest surrounded you the deeper you ventured in. Tufts of grass tickled your ankles as your clammy hands clenched your best friend’s, who had dragged you out against your will, insisting it would be a fun adventure to test your bravery. 

Every now and then, he’d look back and shoot you a wide, childish grin, a gap taking the place of the front tooth he had just lost last week. “C’mon, Y/N! Walk faster!” 

You nodded meekly at your friend, admiring how he fearlessly marched forward, while you anxiously trudged behind him, biting your lip to release some of the tension in your body. Every rustle of leaves or snap of a twig would cause you to jump, afraid that something would jump out at you in the next second, but Minho’s gentle grasp would always bring you back down with a reassuring squeeze, reminding you that you were not alone as you hiked into the unknown. You weren’t sure where you were heading, neither did you know if the seven year old boy ahead of you knew, but his presence was enough to ease you, trusting that everything would be okay as long as he was there.

“It’s okay, Y/N, we’re almost there! You’re going to love it.”

Although only ten minutes had passed, it felt as if this journey was lasting for an excruciating amount of hours as anxiety loomed over you. All you could see was the different hues of green leaves enveloping you, the site of the park you had come from no longer in view as the forest swallowed you whole, only bits of the sunlight made its way through the dense leaves above you, coloring the dirt path with shadows and lights. You looked above, hoping to find the comforting blue sky looking down on you, but not even the heavens were there to accompany you on this trek. It was just you, Minho, and the eerily quietness of the woods.

You decided to put your blinded trust in Minho, shutting your eyes closed as the daunting feeling of claustrophobia began to bubble up your stomach, not daring to take in any more of your surroundings. Suddenly, Minho had come to a stop, causing you to collide into his back as you slowly opened your eyes, unsure what you’d be met with. 

“We’re here,” Minho whispered to you breathlessly from all the walking, turning his head to look over his shoulder, “Look, I found it the other day, it reminded me of you.”

You reluctantly peeked your head out from behind him, a small and excited gasp escaping your lips as you marveled at the sight before you. It was like a photo from one of your nature books had come to life before your eyes. There laid a pond with clear waters and lily pads floating atop of it, soft ripples forming in the water as tadpoles swam just beneath the surface. Just to the right of the pond was the faintest stream of water cascading into the pond, bubbles forming where the brook met the pond as the light trickles of it accompanied the low hum of the forest. 

You had forgotten you weren’t alone as Minho’s giggles brought you out your trance, his eyes beaming with affection as he watched your frightful expression turn into one of amazement and discovery. 

“See, I knew you’d like it. Sometimes you need to pass a test of bravery to get something cool at the end.”

For a seven year old, Minho often said profound things as if he had lived a life full of experiences, things only an adult from a movie or book would say, but in his own childlike vocabulary. You didn’t always quite understand what he meant, but always kept those small tidbits of profundity with you, hoping one day you’d grow to learn the meaning behind his words.

“But jeez, you’re such a scaredy cat. You should’ve seen the look on your face,” he teased as he now faced you, a hand pinching one of your cheeks.

And sometimes, he would just be like any other kid who was messing with his friends, saying something outrageous and nonsensical the next second. He was a strange kid, but you had grown to adore his unpredictability throughout the years of your friendship. You rolled your eyes playfully at his remarks, knowing he meant well, “So what if I was scared?”

“I think it’s cute when you’re scared. You always hold my hand when you are.”

Your face grew warm at his comment, an innocent smile gracing his features as he looked off to the pond. You pouted as butterflies fluttered into your stomach, making their presence known for the umpteenth time today, “Whatever…”

You returned your attention to the pond, walking to its edge as you squatted down with an arm and head resting on your knees as the other reached down to touch the cool water. Your fingers dipped beneath the surface and waved underneath, hoping you’d catch the attention of the tadpoles, but instead the sudden movement shooed them away. 

“Minho?”

“Hmm?”

“How did you find this?”

The boy stood in his place from earlier, opting to admire the scene from afar, “Well, I went out exploring with my dad the other day and it was just here. I learned the path back to show you. Do you like it?”

“It’s so pretty. Can we come here again?”

“Of course.”

Since that day, it had become a small ritual between the two of you, stopping by nearly everyday after school to spend time by the small pond as you slowly learned to appreciate the peaceful quietude of the wilderness. On the days your mother would tell you she needed you home after school, you’d always approach Minho with big, teary eyes and trembling lips, disappointed that you’d have to miss out on a time you had cherished so much with him. And every single time, Minho would pull you into his embrace, place a small kiss on your head, (a gesture he had learned from his own mother), and reassure you, promising that you both would go the next day.

This routine had lasted for a bit over a year, until one day your parents sat you down and told you that the family was moving away to the United States later that month. You had known this was going to happen eventually, as your parents mentioned this in passing to you over the last few months as they prepared for the move, but your child brain couldn’t comprehend the passage of time and just how fast this had all come.  You immediately broke down into tears, begging your parents to let you stay, not wanting to leave all your friends behind so soon, not ready to confront the uncertainty this new country had. You were scared, terrified for what this had all meant, and the worse part of it all was that you wouldn’t have Minho holding your hand through it all this time. He was staying behind, you were leaving him.

Days had gone by as the day you were moving had come close, and you still hadn’t told Minho that you were moving. You didn’t know how to, you were afraid he would cry or be angry at you, so eventually, weeks had gone by without you saying a word. 

Then, you left without a word, never telling your best friend you were leaving and never giving him the chance to send him off with a proper goodbye. 

Minho had waited in front of the entrance of the forest for you until the sky darkened, his eyes welling up with tears as he came to accept that you had forgotten about him that day. Maybe you needed to go home that day and forgot to tell him before school, he thought. Although, he realized something far greater than that had happened as he arrived at the front of your house, the for sale sign standing in the yard without a trace of human presence in the home.

Panic settled into his body as he sped his way home, not being able to understand what was going on as he rushed to his mother, tears falling down his face as he screamed that something happened to you and your family, how you never showed up to the pond that day.

His mother leaned down as she pulled him into a tight hug, a comforting hand rubbing his back in an attempt to soothe him, “Oh, sweetie, didn’t Y/N tell you?” 

Minho looked up at his mother, his face reddening as he continued to sob, a confused look on his face as he shook his head no. His mother cooed at him with a saddened look, pressing a kiss on his forehead, “I’m sorry, sweetie. I thought they did. Their dad got a job in America, so their family is moving there.”

Minho stood there in shock, sniffling as he croaked another sob, “What? Does this mean they’re gone? They’re never coming back?”

“No, baby, they’ll come back eventually. I don’t know when, but they will.”

You had abandoned Minho with no warning, consequently breaking his heart as he mourned the loss of his best friend.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

While your parents kept in contact with one another, Minho refused to ever speak to you over the phone whenever he had the chance, as the love and adoration he once had for you festered into anger and resentment for leaving him without warning. 

It hurt you every time you asked over the phone if Minho could talk, and all you would hear was a loud, upset no from the background after his mother would ask. Your eyes would water up each time, his mother apologizing for him and saying he would soon get over his feelings. 

You hated living in the United States. It was an entirely different culture you were not prepared for as you struggled to communicate with other kids your age, unable to make friends due to the apparent language barrier. Everyday after school, you’d come home in a flood of tears, exhausted and upset at how difficult everything was.

You couldn’t understand your teachers and lessons, always performing poorly even though you knew you could do well. You couldn’t make friends, always being made fun of by other kids due to your accent and jokes constantly flew over your head. Everything about you had become a weapon everyone else had used against you, and the parts of you you once loved and once were proud of became something you rejected, something you felt ashamed of. Back home, you were so smart and witty, always the center of attention, yet here, you were just a stupid kid who didn’t fit in.

You missed Minho so much, wishing he was here with you to help you fight through it all with your hand in his. If he was there, he would’ve told off all the kids for you. He was much braver than you ever were, and you needed him there. Although, as time ran its course, you eventually gave up on the idea of ever reconciling with Minho and thought he would reach out to you whenever he was ready.

Except that day never came, and he had long become a memory of a past life you no longer knew. 

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Years have gone by since you left your home country and all you had left of it was the faint outlines of memories that faded away with age, much like how pencil marks slowly disappear from paper as time wears it down. Well into your adult years now, you have grown accustomed to life in the United States and have eventually learned the language, made friends, and even lost touch with roots as many immigrant children do. Although, as you grew older, you began to yearn for the country you once called home and remember where you had come from, feeling ashamed that you had neglected such a crucial part of your identity for so long. 

Today, for the first time in years, you and your parents returned to your home country as a small celebration for your college graduation, deciding it was appropriate to revisit your childhood before embarking on your journey as an adult. You already had a job lined up once you returned to the states, so you were going to take advantage of the limited time you had here.

Much like you, everything here has changed through the passage of time, yet the familiar comfort of home remains as your eyes scan over each detail through the car window. Even the humid air smelled the same, your face smiling as memories slowly crept their way into your mind. As the car drove you to your aunt’s house, you were catching glimpses of the past as convenience stores, parks, and even your old school greeted you, still looking the exact same as you remembered, but just a little dulled down as the years weathered on them.

The car came to a halt at the front of your aunt’s home, your parents and you taking your luggage from the trunk as you bid the driver a goodbye. As you were approaching the front door steps, your aunt came bursting out with an excited gasp, tears filling her eyes as she pulled you into a familiar embrace, “Oh, Y/N! Look at you! You’re all grown up now!”

She pulls away as her hands rest over your shoulders as she takes a moment to beam at your face, taking in every detail she had missed over the years, “My, aren’t you adorable too! I’ve missed you all so much,” she laughed cheerfully as she then went over to greet your parents in the same fashion. 

“I missed you too, auntie,” you breathed out a content chuckle as you enter her home, admiring how it still looked the same way you remembered it, just a bit more modernized.

After settling down in the guest rooms, your family sat with your aunt to eat a dinner she had prepared for you all, even going as far as making some of your childhood favorites. Each bite sent shivers down your spine as your eyes rolled back with nostalgia rushing over you, reminiscing all the times you spent as a child eating each of these dishes at the very table you were sitting at.

“Wow, this is all so good,” you mumble after taking a huge bite of meat, letting out a pleasured hum as you chew.

“Y/N, honey, please don’t talk with your mouth full,” your father scolds, shooting an apologetic and embarrassed look to his sister.

Your aunt let out a belly laugh as she waves you dad off, “Nonsense! Let them enjoy their food. I am just glad you have you guys back.”

Your mother smiles at her comment, nodding her head in agreement, “Us too, it’s good to be back, even for a bit. Thank you for having us.”

“Oh, of course. How could I ever say no to my brother?” smiles your aunt, before turning to you, “Is there anything special you wanted to do while you were here? Do you have anything planned?”

You shake your head, “No, not really. Just kinda wanted to spend time with family for the most part.”

“Oh, what about Minho? I know you two were close as kids. Are you going to see him? He still lives here.”

Your heart stops for a moment as your brain recalls your old best friend, a name that hadn’t crossed your mind in years as fragments of your memories began to resurface, ones that you didn’t even know you have. “Wow, I forgot about him, honestly.”

Your mom gives you a comforting smile, noticing a slight sadness in your eyes, “Well, I think it wouldn’t be a bad idea to catch up with him, no? Aren’t you curious to know what he has been up to all these years?”

You nod, feeling uneasy at the thought of coming face to face with your former friend after the stunt your younger self pulled on him, “Ah, maybe. We’ll see.”

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You had spent the last few days catching up with your cousins, letting them take you out wherever they thought you had to see and show you what you’ve been missing. Unfortunately for you, that meant you were dragged off to a night of drinking and while you had fun with lots of laughs, you were beginning to regret all the alcohol you had ingested the night before as you woke up with a pounding headache. 

Since the day your aunt mentioned Minho over dinner, you couldn’t help but wonder what he had been up to nowadays, what he looked like, if he had changed much, your heart yearning for the boy you once loved as a child. While you could’ve easily asked any of your family members where to find him, you were also dreading having to face after so long. What if he was still mad at you? What if he was disappointed in who you’ve become? What if he had become an insufferable asshole over the years? 

The insurmountable what-if’s were too much for you to bear, choosing it was best to avoid the subject much as you both have all these years. Yet, you couldn’t ignore the pang in your heart as you looked through your old memories of him, part of you wishing to relive that childlike innocence you lost when you moved away.

That’s when you remembered the old pond Minho and you once frequented as children and thought maybe this was the respite you needed for not only your hurt soul, but your hangover too. Maybe you needed the peace and tranquility of mother nature today.

You felt your heart swell with anxiety as you approached the start of the trail you had become so acquainted with, noticing the same trees decorating the entrance, the only difference was their thickened trunks and roots that had overgrown onto the poorly maintained path. 

You begin to make the trek into the forest, enjoying the gentle zephyr that kisses your skin, inviting you back into your old safe haven as if it recognizes you. The familiar buzzing of mosquitoes greets your ears, along with the songs of birds filling the rest of the space.

A gentle smile melts onto your face as you arrive at the same pond that somehow remains unchanged over the years, just like how you remembered it all those years ago. It was as if you were going back in time as you took in your surroundings, your mind replaying memories of the days you and Minho spent here as children, recalling the first time he had forced you out here and how glad you were that he did.

There are still tadpoles swimming in the water, your smile widening as you realize the frogs are still laying eggs here, even after all these years. You feel at home again seeing how this was like your own little time capsule, a feeling of safety and comfort taking over you, one you hadn’t felt in years. You don’t know how much had passed, but the sound of crunching leaves and twigs startled you from your daze, visibly jumping in place as you turned to see the source of the sound.

Behind you was a man about your age standing there, surprise and confusion painting his face, scanning you from head to toe while analyzing your features. Your face mirrors the same expression he wore as you took him in, your eyes widening as you recognize the man standing before you as none other than your childhood best friend, Minho. 

Somehow, he still looks like the boy you once knew, the only difference being that he grew into his feature with a more matured air around him, his eyes tired from god knows what.

“Y/N…?” he spoke with disbelief, not entirely believing the sight before his eyes.

“Minho?”

For a moment, both of you could only stare at each other, unsure how to react or what to say in the moment, as it felt like you both had just seen a ghost appear in front of you. Your mouth dries as you search for the right words, resisting the overwhelming urge to just jump into his arms and cry out a mess of an apology between tears.

“You’re… here? You’re back?” he questions with a gleam of hope in his eyes, all the memories of his youth flooding back in as his heart swelled with joy, the bitter resentment he had held for so long disappearing for a moment.

“Just for a bit,” you whisper nervously, “I’m just visiting with family.”

The soft smile on Minho’s face began to drop as disappointment colored his face, the hurt he felt all those years ago as a child bubbling back up in his tummy, leaving a bitter taste in his mouth while feeling foolish to think you had moved back home. 

“I… Y/N, why didn’t you tell me you were leaving?”

You felt your heart contort from guilt and agony as you watched Minho’s smile dissipate, his eyes now shining as they watered while recalling the painful memory of the day you left.

“Minho, I’m sorry, I really am. I tried to apologize to you after, but you never wanted to talk after.”

“I waited for you that day. I waited for you to come here, but you never showed up. I went all the way to your house and saw it was empty. My mom had to tell me,” you were wishing the world would swallow you whole as tears streamed down your face, “Y/N, did you not want to say goodbye? Did you not even miss me?”

“Of course I missed you, Minho. I wanted to stay here with you, but telling you I was moving was scary and I didn’t know how.”

His eyebrows furrow at your words, his lips trembling as he tried to hold back a cry as he croaked out with a mixture of sadness and anger, “You left me, Y/N. It wasn’t fair, you don’t know how much I cried for you. Did you even care about how I felt?”

“Minho, I know what I did hurt you and I regret it so much, you meant so much to me, but I was just a kid. I didn’t know any better.”

Minho focuses his gaze to the ground as tear drops roll off his face, the fabric of his shirt darkening as they make their landing, shaking his head side to side, he whispers, “You know, I was a kid too.”

With that, he looks at your face with a hurt expression one last time, turning his back towards you as he walks away, not failing to leave you with a gut-wrenching thought, “Maybe you shouldn’t have come back.”

This wasn't the hangover cure you came looking for.