#certified malewife

[seldonhari]

that’s so baby of him 

[not-so-blue]

BALDUR'S GATE 3 — gale dekarios (1/?)

[d-c-k-y]

It's ya favourite boi but human disguise

Another Scarab study bcuz I love him so much that I want to put him in a jar, we all can guess he is my favourite >:)

This man and his child-bearing hips istg-

[lunarw0rks]

Do you think soaps ran through?

he's a soldier. need i say more?

but

the short answer is yes. FUCKING LOOK AT HIM !! HE'S IN THERE

[star-mum]

Okay OP nation I have some (maybe controversial) statements about the Straw Hats and I need y’all to listEN FIRST OKAY- HEAR ME OUT

Boyfriend: Zoro and Franky

Husband: Usopp and Sanji

Girlfriend: Nami

Wife: Robin

Luffy: Aroace king

[jasontoddssuper]

"Why do you wanna fuck Btas comics Jason?He's ugly!"Because i'm not a coward,you piece of shit Outlaws webtoon Jason simp

[skyenthusiast]

[Preview Film] 손동운(SON DONG WOON) THE 2nd MINI ALBUM [Happy Birthday] TRACK 3. 편지

[lionblaze03-2]

Happy ace week or whatever

[albiclalepsza]

So I felt that something was missing from my page today and sure enough.

Shit. I know, parasociality and shit, I didn't know him irl or really almost not at all, we just interacted under each other posts, but still. He was one of my first mutuals, one of the people who really made me feel welcome on here when I was hesitantly making a switch to tumblr from reddit and starting to use it more and these little interactions really made it feel unique, so much more inviting than other social media. When I was really disillusioned with some of the people around me he (together with a few more of you <3) genuinely made me feel a lot better in that situation.

I don't know. I hope he'll be fine and I'm going to miss him quite a bit.

@stealthy-npc-deactivated2024010 I hope you will find a corner in the internet where people don't argue that you support eugenics because you made a joke about not wanting to be with someone with blue eyes, or better yet, a community so solid you will not need social media at all.

[haithamuse]

fuck marry kill / alhaihtam, thoma and mona

hang with me!

marry alhaitham fuck thoma kill mona

[galedekkarios]

i think that gale would be bad at dating in a modern au not because he's a bad partner or has no rizz but just because situationships and talking stages and "you took ten minutes to reply so i'm gonna take twenty minutes" kind of mind games all make him want to kill himself. so he just yearns and aches all on his lonesome writing notes app poetry about a lover he hasn't met yet while waiting for someone more like him to drop out of the sky.

i also think that, given the stories he tells the player, that he was a fucking disaster floozy in his youth. mr you're not my first and i assure you i do fuck + everyone wanted my hand + my munch game crazy + one can't always be a gentleman + i have a million stories where realistically i should not have fucking survived but i did bc i'm #different + 10 step beauty routine and certified spa goer + if i wanted something, i went and got it + reads smut/sex books, was a certified hot girl. and now he's a divorced malewife suffering from third degree yearns. this is real and true

[llamagoddessofficial]

i feel like flirting-wise, red is obvi the G.O.A.T, like bro could make a rock blush scarlet if he felt like it, dudes got all the moves, all the charisma, and the Respect Women Juice flowing through his veins, the total package.

sans is the more subtle/stupid flirter, doing things like choosing to hang out with you over others, being the first one he talks to, stuff like that, but then also will flirt through puns, not like red's charisma droppers, but like groan-in-your-bed-later-that-night-because-why-did-you-SAY-THAT-IT-WAS-SO-CRINGE type puns.

skull duh flirts by being more blunt than wet paper and doing things like cleaning, cooking, basically malewifing.

however, i feel like he has just the tiniest bit of the Red Certified Charisma in him, and that once in a blue moon, he will drop the most smooth, heart-pounding, swoonworthy, twirling-my-hair kicking-my-feet, instant wine-red blushes flirt EVER-

and have said it on a spur of the moment thing. like all those jacked up brain-cells came together in one (1) unified effort to flirt witb pwettbdy lady

You're damn right anon

[gay-dorito-dust]

Relationship headcanons for Slade Wilson & Clark Kent with gn s/o?

I kinda got carried away with the Clark relationship head-cannons that I forgot that you also wanted Slade…oops. 🦦

Baby girl

Malewife

Certified himbo

Golden retriever energy!

Heart of gold, dumb of ass-

Okay I’ll stop but you get the gist, this man would honest to god, worship you. Look me in the eyes and tell me that he wouldn’t cuz we all know he would.

No thoughts, head empty; just full of ways where he could love on you.

He’s a cutie! And he probably trips over or unintentionally hurts himself because he can’t help but admire you and all of your handsomeness/beauty/gorgeousness.

Hell I bet before you two were dating Clark’s confession must’ve been the most sweetest, heartfelt, and the most adorkable thing ever.

He would probably be on the fence whether or not in telling you he’s Superman because he doesn’t want to put you in any sort of danger but then again being in a romantic relationship with him was already putting you in danger; so he would probably have to sit you down for that conversation, hold your hands within his bigger ones and pray that you understood his reasoning behind the secrecy.

His love languages have got to be one or all of the following;

words of affirmation: he will call you any and every endearing word in the dictionary even if you were only just getting up to start your day. He’s your hype man in every sense of a word and will not allow you to be harsh or look down on yourself. He’s not having it, so he won’t hear it because how can you not see yourself the way he sees you?

To Clark, your phenomenal, exceptional, extraordinary, amazing, incredible, excellent, talented, fantastic, handsome, beautiful, charming, gorgeous and above all else; you. That’s all he wants you to be. Yourself.

acts of service: as I said before Clark lives to serve and with that I’d like to think of him taking on chores that he knows you don’t particularly like doing just so he could relieve the stress of having to do it off of your shoulders. He’d also attempt to make breakfast, but your better off helping him so he doesn’t accidentally breaks the handle off of any appliance you have at your disposal by unintentionally using excessive force.

Clark would do stuff that would be considered small to other people such as leaving out clothes you found most comfort in, neatly folded in your dresser, or bending down to help you in tying your shoes, but to you they were the biggest expressions of love one could ever experience.

Physical touch: this man is a cuddle bug and no one can tell me otherwise. Oh yeah don’t get me wrong but just because he’s stronger then the average man don’t mean he ain’t gonna hold you tight against him -though not too tight- and still be extremely cautious of the usage of his strength. he doesn’t wanna hurt you in any capacity at all. He’s so, so gentle and frequently worried about the consequences that would come if he didn’t handle you with enough care.

Hand holding is a staple in your relationship.

He’s a big spoon and a little spoon in terms of cuddling because he wants to feel as though he’s protecting you in your most vulnerable form and also wants to be comforted by you as he lays his head on your chest. It’s almost a comical sight, you spooning this Greek god of a man but it’s such a sweet and tender moment between the two of you finding comfort in each others presence and being able to be your most vulnerable with them that it completely negates all of that.

back hugs in the morning from either you or Clark because I just adore the idea of this man coming up behind you and hugging you with his strong arms caging you at the waist as his head is buried into your neck as he whispers you a good morning. I also adore the idea of you just going up behind him and hugging him as tightly as you could, not knowing that you couldn’t possibly hurt him physically even if you tried.

Quality time: while unfortunately yes, being Superman is a full time thing. That don’t mean Clark wouldn’t at least attempt in making time just for the both of you and besides you found his deep rooted want to help anyone and everyone extremely endearing and admirable; but sometimes he does need to be reminded that not everyone wants to be saved despite how difficult that maybe for him to understand. But that doesn’t mean he won’t stop trying to help. It’s the one thing no one can change about Clark.

So when you two do get some time together it’s pretty much just spent doing whatever it is that you two like to do together like watch a movie, read books, etc or separate whilst still being within the same room as one another in a comfortable silence. Clark is trying to make up for lost time but it’s the fact that he’s trying is all that matters to you.

Plz hold his face in your hands and squish his cheeks! Plz. He will melt into your hold as he brings his bigger hands up to hold against yours his face as he closes his eyes and visibly relaxes. Precious bean deserves to be pampered with love and affection.

You’d defiantly be stealing his cozy beige/cream coloured jumper. You loved how it made your hulking boyfriend look like the epitome of soft, so of course when he’s away you immediately sift through his things and pull the jumper over your body, where for the rest of the day you would be doing stuff in your shared home whilst in his clothes that were *probably* way too big for you and that you had to face the continuous task of having to push up the sleeves constantly so that they wouldn’t get in the way.

So when Clark comes home and sees you wearing his cozy little jumper, he’s utterly enamoured as though it was the first time he’s seeing you all over again. It’s cute and the soft sappy expression on his face will forever and always melt your heart; his soft blue eyes staring at you adoringly like you were the one to have painted the stars in the sky, the slight blush upon his pinch-able cheeks, and the dopey smile upon his pretty lips.

‘Something catch your eye handsome?’ You’d say one day upon catching him gawking at you from the doorway, taking great pleasure in watching him squirm and stumble over his words as he tries to justify his staring without it coming across as creepy. ‘I wasn’t- I’m sorry-‘ you didn’t let him continue as you walked over to him and moved your arms to hold his face in your hands, your thumbs running across his warm cheeks that only seemed to grow warmer beneath your touch.

‘It’s okay, I know you didn’t mean anything weird or creepy by it. I’m just teasing you, you know I love it when you look at me because when you look at me…I feel more seen then I ever have with anyone else.’ You admitted to him, pressing your head into his tits chest, ‘so please don’t stop looking at me in that way for it reminds me that this is real and not some fever dream.’

[blazingspirit]

"gokuluck is literally just malewife, manslaughter, mansplain and manwhore" -- @eveekin, certified visionary

[mochithewondercat]

When you realize that Mu Qing is a certified malewife

[vigarioamelia]

it would be so funny if messmer doesn't have a SINGLE clue that he has like 20 other siblings like just imagine his face hearing that his dear mother gave birth to the first born of the elden lord only to have cursed twins number 1 then transformed into a malewife and fathered 3 children of a literal queen then made 2 clones of herself that are also cursed twins number 2 and then-

i can hear his voice going like "mOthEr? wouldSt tHou tRuly beHoLD mOtherHooD in ones sO bErEft of-"

as a certified mama's boy i'm sure he would be one of those jealous kids that deep down are only this way because they were never paid enough attention to

he would be so grumpy hearing about the inumerous titles his many siblings have but he would grow to be a proud older bro