#changing himself for teh approval of others

[bitchlessdino]

TPC: Vernon and Chan's solution to love triangles

Series

Pairing: vernon x afab!reader x chan

Genre: smut

Word count: 4.3k

tags: friends to lovers, bi/pan poly, queer dynamics, mlm content, dirty talking, praise kink, spanking, clit slapping, pet names (doll, baby), ass play, double pen., spitting, fingering, oral (giving and recieveing), throat bulge kink, cum eating, face sitting, couch sex, desk sex, unprotective sex, cream pies, no respect for someone else's private space lol

Summary: Nobody fucking like love triangles, especially you. So what was the perfect solution to that problem? You guessed it.

author note: it's pride so this is pretty gay, enjoyyyyy

Tag list: @iwouldbangchan @1uvlywon @just-here-to-read-01 @candidupped @minnie-mouser22 @shiningstar-byulxx @90s-belladonna @misssugarlips @tommolex @hoeforhao @honglynights @homerunhansol @dkakapizzaboy @junhui-recs @svtup @buffhoshi @meowmeowminnie @caratochan @lovebot4han @lovelyhan

Sometimes being told that your best friend has these intense, overpowering feelings for you other than a friend would has teh potential to change teh trajectory of your dynamic. Being told that it was both your best friends that have these feelings was just internal chaos. Chan and Vernon usually weren’t like that. Since learning about those things, it’s been hard to breathe, suffocating even, especially at a party where the air was a limited quantity.

“Another drink?”

You hand Vernon your solo cup to fill and he refreshes it with ice cold beer, softly smiling back at you. He hands it back to you, your fingers grazing his, and natural electricity runs over his skin. “Thanks.”

“A-anytime.” He stutters.

Vernon hasn’t been himself since his confession. He’s been walking on eggshells waiting for an answer, and he doesn’t doubt that Chan is going through the same. They both agreed to let you take your time and would not resent you for the answer you give. Still, a selfish side of him hoped it’d be him.

Chan joins you both soon enough leaning close to your ear, whispering a gentle “Hi,” before back hugging you. You let out light chuckles before grasping his forearms, and greeting him back. Vernon stands a foot away, envious of Chan’s openness and courage that Vernon only imagines having. 

What Vernon doesn’t know is Chan can only get that far pretending he knows what to do, when in fact it’s the opposite. His guess is just as good as his best friend's. He has no idea who you’d choose in the end. He only knows that he has to act fast.

“Dance with me,” he requests, waiting for your nod of approval before he sweeps you away to the center of the room and leaves Vernon behind.

You feel the safety of Chan’s broad build taking up the space behind you, grazing the sensitivity of your arms as he sways you to the beat of the music. You allow him to guide you, tickling the nape of your neck with his breath scented with confectioners sugars. You hum in delight, throwing your head against his shoulder as you drink in the air. To which, Chan can't help but be dazzled by you, mesmerized by the energy you exude. 

“I know you wanted to take your time in making a decision and I respect that but I hope you don’t mind me doing some convincing,” His hands find home on your body, dragging them by your sides, and settling on your hips. You lightly gasp, fingers curling up in uncertainty, yet you felt no desire to part ways. You can only focus on the alluring deep rasp of his voice, “You look so fucking incredible tonight.”

“You too, Chan,” you say with a small smile, feeling him only wrap tighter around you. You involuntarily moan as he presses you deeper against his front side, feeling the shape of his bulge nudge you. You can practically feel your arousal pool between your legs, threatening to leave the sanctity of your walls. Your bodies melt into each until you’re one, succumbing to Chan’s body language that speaks in pure unbridled lust. You visibly swoon, falling deeper into the spell of the man whose smile glows brighter than the stars in the night sky.

 His lips seductively trail against your neck, “We’re like magic together. Don’t you think so?”

You can feel a confirmation come up your throat until someone places themself in front of you. To your shock, Vernon stands before you and takes your hands, letting them come against his neck. “Hope you don’t mind if I join in.”

Vernon can feel the heat of his romantic rival’s glare but ignores it as he claims his spot. “Of course,” you answer with a soft smile, earning a smile back from the man in front.

Vernon’s reluctant elegance is stark in contrast with Chan’s obvious carnal, giving the best of both worlds. Chan stays at his distance, and the same could be said of Vernon, eyes coated in love as his hand holds politely right at the waist. 

This is a bizarre situation to be in, to begin with, and you can’t believe for a second that you’re the person in the middle. Yet, your heart flutters as Vernon tucks your hair over your shoulder, breath fanning over your skin as he leans in just slightly doing so. You were in no position to complain.

You let out a soft gasp, feeling the pebbling of your skin before he pulls away. “I don’t know how much competition I am to Chan, bu—“

“Don’t say that,” you interrupt.

“But,” he continues, “I’m glad to at least be in your thoughts.”

“You’re more than in my thoughts. I care about Vern—I care about the both of you…And I think my answer is clear.”

One second. It’s all it takes—and maybe Vernon’s honey brown eyes staring back at you with so much admiration as if you’re seconds away from turning into a puddle—for you to pull him in a heated kiss. Releasing your inhibitions, you sink into him and flushed against his heat. Your teeth occasionally clashing, entangled with him desperately, your descending moans from your lips as he presses against you, lost in his dream turned reality. You could blame the alcohol, you can blame the R&B playing, you can even blame Vernon's words beaming with sincerity, but really you blame yourself. 

In a moment of self-wallow, Chan falters back as he witnesses the scene firsthand. He has every nerve to back off, accepting your decisions per your agreement, but before does, a grip takes Chan’s arm and collides his bodies back to his friends in heated lip lock. His eyes shoot back at your figures in surprise, hearing you make out the word “stay” amongst the noise. Uneven breaths leave him as you part from Vernon’s lips and connect with Chan’s instead. 

He tastes what Vernon tastes, visceral lust running through your veins as your lips defiling his until you’re tasting every corner of his mouth. You were like a drug, one that would have him committed and he knows since then he could never have enough of you. He can’t help but return the same energy, languidly moving his lips against yours until you move on to Vernon, their intense jointed lips making Chan more aroused rather than disappointed. 

You continue what you started at in a vacant room in the lesser occupied area of the house. Your brain would have recalled that this was the closed-off home office the party host forbade anyone from entering if not for the fact one man’s hand is down your pants and kissing your neck, while the other leads you with his lips and fingers threading through your hair.

You moan feverishly against his lips and pull off his jacket and white tee to abandon them on the ground. You caress his sculpted body, feeling the deep valleys of his abdomen, cupping his chest, while your fingers tingle and excitement churns your stomach. His body was heaven, a safe space, and you could not wait to scratch up his skin, marking it purple, and claiming him yours. “Mmh, Chan…”

The blond presses to your side, grinning from ear to ear against your lips. “Yes, baby.” His term of endearment made you gush, smiling back at him like a love sick puppy before you pull him back against your lips, a leg clenching to his side to keep him close. You moan louder as the man behind you works inside you with more vigor, whines leaving your lips as you buck your hips in frustration. “So…good…”

“What's that? Vernon fingers up your pussy feel good?”

You moan a confirmation to Chan, earning a tender kiss under your ear, the owner of the lips pressing his fingers between your slit as his thumb pads over your clit. “Say it louder for me, doll.”

“You make me feel so good, Vernon,” you respond, only hearing the squelch of his fingers as he pleasures you.

“Good job,” he whispers delicately before letting your bottoms hit the ground. You gasp as his big hands grow rough and sharp inside you as they curve in between your damp walls. Chan looks back at you grinning, moving hair away from your face, and a deep chuckle leaves his lips. “You look like a pretty little mess. Makes me want to ruin you.”

“I’m sure they’d like that, Chan. Their pretty pussy cumming all over our cocks until they black out,” Vernon eggs.

Moaning at the thought, Chan lifts your chin with two fingers to meet his gaze, the darkness taking over his eyes that had you weak at the knees. “That sounds like a delicious evening.”

Leisurely, Chan’s fingers undo your shirt, revealing the scandalously deliciously red garment underneath. He bites his bottom lip—pleased with what he sees— before he wraps his lips around you to taste lace. He feels you grow against his tongue, pretty and wet. You softly whimper and circles being drawn on your skin, while Vernon takes care of your sopping cunt the way a washer cycles clothing: thoroughly wet and loudly. “S-shit…”

“You feel so wet around my fingers.”

You arch into the man behind you, a guttural moan escaping you.

“You don’t know how much I’ve thought about doing this.” His words are so delicate, like a butterfly in the midst of a storm. Your climax is so close you could almost taste it, but Chan shakes his head, pulling you forward and away from the tension. “Not yet, we’re going to wait just like you’ve made us wait.”

Vernon quickly adjusts to the situation and lets his hand go limp, preventing the eruption of your climax and following his best friend’s lead. “Right. It’s only fair.” He withdraws his hand to bring his fingers up to your lips, tapping at them for entry, to which he is easily granted access. You wrap around his digits delectably, your arousal sweet and familiar past your lips. He groans back at you, his groin rubbing to your side in thirst. “Such a good doll.”

In an instant, Chan pushes you against the leather couch occupying the end of the room. His hands glide over your thighs and fondle your breast, while Vernon kisses your eager lips. Every inch of your body feels like pure fire. Adrenaline pumps in your veins and you have never been so intensely aroused.

“Are you gonna give an answer?” Chan prods. “Or are you test driving? Seeing who’s capable of making you cum faster and harder?” The tips of his fingers aim at your clit, feeling the reflex of your hips buck back against him, earning his smug grin. “Or is our pretty baby that selfish you want us both to yourself?”

You act as though you can’t hear him, but you truly can’t hear him. Your brain makes sense of what he says but your body prevents you from speaking, and all you can do is moan, shake, or cry in response. Vernon finally parts from you to look directly back into your eyes, “Answer him, doll.”

You gasp aching, turning to Chan's domineering gaze. “N-no, I can’t choose. I need both of you. I-I’m selfish.”

“Why?” He hits it again, now hearing the whimper once muffled from Vernon’s lips. “What’s it about us you need both so badly?”

You could write an essay about how both individually made you feel but you had no words that could describe how they felt together. It simply could not be compromised. You love both so deeply and you can’t imagine anything different. Chan is not without Vernon, Vernon is not without Chan, but you were not without both. Choosing one would be pure blasphemy in your eyes. 

Your thoughts get muddled by Chan’s impatience as he dives face-first between your legs. His tongue pulsates like it has a mind of its own, teasing you until bounding himself to your cunt. His arms come over your thighs and he tugs them to hug his cheeks, prickling you all over with goosebumps. “So…sweet…all mine…”

He could only describe your taste as ambrosia: nectar of the gods. If he believed in any of them, he imagines you would be what they sought out. If he wasn’t already mindlessly in love with you, right now he was sincerely obsessed with you. Your scent, your texture, your ache. You embody pure sex, that much he understands, but what else was there to learn?

You can feel himself groaning in the depths of your walls as his tongue darts faster in you, accompanied by his fingers soon after. Pushing one—“Mmh, Chan”—no, thrusting two —“fuck like that”—actually three plunging in so deep to find the center of your core—“shit…”

“Yes, eat their pussy so good, Chan. They love it so much.” 

Your moan echoes in the unnecessarily big room, throwing your head back on the couch while Vernon unclasps your bra and helps it come off. His lips latch on your tit, round eyed and beautiful, and take the other in his hand, pinching and rolling your stiff peak. His teeth come gently around you between sucks as your hand runs through his soft silver-blue hair. Moans leaving between your pressed lips, you ingrain the sensation in your brain, holding for keepsake.

“Doll sounds so pretty being devoured…Chan is good at it, isn’t he? His dirty mouth making your wet pussy feel good?”

You barely make out a nod to Vernon before you notice Chan's wet chin gliding up your slit to suck harshly against your clit, dark orbs staring back at you with a black heat. You choke back your answer, clenching around Chan’s face as you cut off his airways and nearly suffocate him. 

Your other hand keeps his head down, feeling him lapping up your arousal and slathering his cheeks in your mess as you ride him in your stead. The blonde moans only grow louder, burying his imminent grave inside you as he swears he loses consciousness. “Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck…”

“Chan, You’re doing it so good, keep it up. They’re so close.”

His fingers drive through you at a merciless rhythm, your peak of arousal comes in waves and your body thrashes from the intense sensation as you buck into his mouth in release. His name is on your tongue like prayer fearing him, thanking him, worshiping him. He pulls himself up, eyes blown out like a mindless zombie, lips glossed with a sex sheen of your cum. “That was so good...”

“Chan.”

The blonde hears his name, soft and malleable, but only realizes it’s a voice slightly gruffer than the person he expects. Vernon leans forward to his friend, eyes shaken from the glossy sheen coating their mouth, and before he realizes, he’s claiming Chan’s lips, tasting your climax.

Your heart pounds sporadically watching them in lip lock. Vernon’s tongue aiming in and out of the blonde mouth to lick up your mess and you feel the heat of your core erupt again. Chan’s hands run through Vernon’s silver locks, expelling an impish moan as he palms his boner through his pants. “Vern…”

The moment the nickname leaves his lips, the younger pulls away, face still a mess, and he sees a matching expression on Vernon. “I…I didn’t mean for that—“

“That was insane.” You interrupt and the back of Chan’s head to reunite your lips. Meanwhile, Vernon is still processing what’s just happened. Hands against his mouth, he’s replaying how he initiated, about how Chan kissed him back just as vigorously, and how he can still feel the ghost of his lips on his. Perhaps there was more to his—and Chan’s—feelings than anyone in this room anticipated.

The silver fox is pulled out of his trace when he tastes your lips, and his thought process melts into oblivion the moment your hands land on his pants. You hurriedly drop them to his ankles and reach for his cock, upright and needy for the mouth inches away from him. “You’re so big, Vernon…” You drag him over your tongue, feeling his twitch, while he’s watching you take his cock and how your plush ass lifts up in the air.

Chan’s familiar fingers run along your slit, feeling you pulsate around despite having already came. “You’re so wet for us, baby,” Chan says, knowing the other man is watching as he drags his fingers in you–mewls vibrating around Vernon’s cock–and his lips kiss the rim of your entrance.

You moan something incomprehensive, only pushing your rear back to Chan as he devours you clean, licking circles and sucking you in loud slurps. There’s something about the power of his mouth, reducing you to a feeble mess that was just so hot, Vernon couldn’t help but blush. Moments before, Vernon would’ve just assumed he was turned on by the blatant euphoria in your eyes–which were indeed intoxicating–but after that kiss, he realizes that it’s possibly more than that.

“You have such pretty holes, baby. I want to fill them up so badly with cum.” The blonde is obviously saying the words to you, given the context, but the way his eyes look Vernon feels like it was meant for him. It renders him practically speechless.

“You want us in your holes, baby? You want us to fuck you open?”

Your whines got only more immense, seizing pleasure from Vernon’s cock, and finally, he moves, rocking back into you. Fueled by tension, his cock hits the end of your throat, the shape of his head bulging at the column of your throat and he whines, erupting the goosebumps to appear on Chan’s arms that go unnoticed by anyone but. Vernon’s hand combs through your hair as the other rubs that column of your neck. His gaze drops at you, watching the tears swell up in your eyes and you’re evidently breathing through your nose. “My cock looks so good stuck in your perfect, pretty throat—fuck…feels so good…”

Chan lifts his knees to the couch, stroking his cock he exposed without anyone noticing, lathering your cum at your slit with the tip and then up your puckered rim. He sucks on his digits, getting them wet, before easing them inside your ass. You clench around him in response, causing him to strike at your cheek with a free hand. You jolt forward, pushing a groaning Vernon’s cock deep down your throat.

“Spread your ass for me if you want to be stretched nice and wide.”

The tears shed burned your cheeks, but you obliged. Arching your back, knees further apart, your hands spread your divide to submit to Chan. Your eyes repeatedly roll back to your head, slightly relieved when Vernon pulls your head off his cock to breathe, and let the obscene and barely coherent speech from your lips. “Please please please, I need you. Fuck me. Fuck me please…”

“Can you take it, hmm,” Chan spanks your ass, “Are your pretty holes gonna take our cocks?”

“Yes, yes, give it to me please.”

Chan scoffs. “Beg louder.”

“Please, Chan. I want you and Non inside of me. I want to feel your cum spill inside of me—ah!” His spit slathers over you, spanks repeating back on your ass, your pussy, everything. Filthy and demeaning. “Such a dirty thing. Lucky for you, you’ve been a good listener. We’ll make sure to give you what you want. Won’t we, Vernon?”

Vernon takes second to answer, shifting his throat at his swallows. “I-I’ll make sure she doesn’t waste a drop.”

Chan grins proudly. “Good boy.”

You move over to the desk, not caring about the papers that flew off from it, and Vernon casually plants his naked body on the edge waiting for you to hop on him. He strokes up his shaft, using his other arm to pull you up on the desk but without slight stumbling, to which he finds the grip to steady you. “Got you, doll.”

“Thank you, Vernon.” You giggle, arms looping around his neck.

His hands smooth over your ass possessively, gripping it in his wide palms before striking your cheeks. “What a perfect ass,” he lowly growls.

“It is,” Chan agrees, licking his lips and approaching after with his hard, red cock in his hand, “I sure can’t wait to see it bounce on my cock. You first, Vernon.”

The silver-haired man attempts his best to hold you by your legs and lines your entrance. You come to his aid and lower him in your slit to feel your plush walls. You take the moment to adjust to his size, his warmth running shivers down his spine and you begin to feel the tension up your abdomen. “Vernon…”

“So wet and tight…” his hand lowers to your ass, kneading balls of your flesh. “God, you’re perfect.”

Chan gets closer—hand over Vernon’s, which runs that familiar sensation of electricity he’s used to from you—and he helps himself get an advantage. He pulls you slightly to align with your ass and eases in, letting out a dry breath and cussing as if his life depended on it. Your jaw drops at the fullness, the stretch so excruciating that your whines ebb in a long period, comparable to a dial tone. You press your chest to Vernon’s, your breast rubbing against him so lewdly, it took every turn in him to not pump the brakes on his pace. “Gorgeous doll, my perfect doll.”

Your screams become pounding and lingering, moaning their names in ache. “Oh god…”

“You like that?” Chan's hand stings on your skin, firmly grasping you while you take every deep thrust. “I love fucking you. You take my cock so damn well.”

Your head nods in musical rhythm. “More. Please. More…”

Vernon brushing sweaty strands of hair off your face. “You look so beautiful being fucked dumb…” You softly thank him, a swelling sensation in your heart as he embraces your side. He kisses up your face, tasting the salt on your skin. You beg you whine, you take, feeling their uneven pace eventually syncing up in wonderful harmony.

You can’t imagine them going any deeper, that is until they do, bottoming out in you until paralyzing your limbs in shock, only contracting from your stomach. “Oh god,  I’m close…cum in me please…please…”

Chan feels you writhe beneath him, processing the truth in your words, and takes a look over to his friends to meet his eyes. “Are you close too, Vernon?”

Struggling, the man barely comes up with a “yes.”

A corner of his lips picks up before leaning against your back, kissing your soft skin, and fucking you practically balls deep. “Are you gonna cum? Hmm, think about it.” Chan’s sweaty blond strands hitting at his dark brown eyes that entice him like a siren. His teeth dig at his bottom lip, offering a sultry expression with a hint of jester. “Don’t you think they’ll look gorgeous with their pussy full of cum?”

“Chan…” the older boy whines. 

“Come on, they’re begging for it.” Chan’s teeth graze your skin, tongue following their path. “Cum for them. Cum for me, Vernon…”

Vernon's thrusts gets more desperate, needier, and the sound of the blonde's voice holds him like a chokehold. “S-s-shit..” White covers your cunt inside out, pure heat and animalistic release and you tremble uncontrollably on top of him. You kiss him, gratefully, your warm smile touching the blossom of his cheeks. He feels like he’s on cloud nine. 

Chan doesn’t take long to follow up, his cum practically dripping out of you like a geyser. Eyes rolling back, he pumps what feels like endlessly in you, leaking out until he does finally pull out and it inevitably spills on the fur carpet. Not a face of remorse in sight. His breathing takes over him, trying to catch his breath, but prideful more than anything.

Vernon leans into your ear. “Doll, sit on my face, please.”

You’re pleasantly surprised by his request but fulfill his wishes, feeling his tongue lap up the cum dripping out of you like it’s his last meal. You were still sensitive to everything they’ve done, panting like a dog in the summer heat, but this has all been worth it. You barely muster the energy to peer down. Seeing him so enticingly lewd, his eyes look black with lust, while the tip of his nose presses lightly against your clit. He swallows every drop, keeping his promise and it's like heaven all over again.

Chan comes to your side, lips depositing kisses on your skin. “He’s such a good boy.”

At some point, you’re licked clean–another orgasm in its wake–and you're all back against the couch, your sweat-drenched bodies ruining the leather. You let the silence fester, too tired to speak, and let your bodies air dry from the intense physical activity. “So,” Chan laces his fingers through yours. “There’s no monogamous answer for what just happened, is there?” 

Vernon chuckles and shakes his head, taking your other hand. “I don’t think so.”

“Well, in that case,” Chan sits up to look back at Vernon, red in the face and ears. Clearly, he’s hesitant about his confession but there was no turning back now. “Better time than ever to say I had a crush on you in middle school but never admitted it.”

The other man's eyes shoot open, face tickled pink just as bright as the blond, if not brighter. “…me too.”

You let out an amused cough, redirecting their attention to you. “Well, then we never really had that big of a problem, to begin with then.”

They both smile at you before simultaneously kissing your cheeks, then each other, and then all together before the tension starts heating up all over again—

“I hear you horny fuckers in there! Get out of there before I kick your sorry asses!”

[gender-i-hardly-know-er]

thinking about the stanley parable

thinking about sanders sides

thinking about the stanley parable and sanders sides

[quetzalpapalotl]

BARBIE TELL ME ABOUT WHIRLOP please

OH WELL IF YOU INSIST

My boys, my faves, my train wrecks. I have talked about Whirlop before so I'm probably just gonna repeat myself but since you missed it

We don't actually get to see Optimus and Whirl's dynamic in present day but man, it must be so complicated. This got a bit long so

Whirl was under Orion's responsability as captain, OP must feel so guilty for letting that beat up that resulted in war happen. Still he personally invites Whirl to the Autobots, "compassion as a weapon of war" Whirl calls it, which is such a microcosm of Optimus character. He meants good by that, he's trying to go for forgiveness, and yet it ignores Whirl's circumstances.

OP admist he knew Whirl had to have history with the Senate given his empurata, yet he buys the story that Whirl's reason to beat Megatron and then getting away was that he had friends in power and drags Whirl to the Senate whithout much thought. While the Senate callout is one of his highlights as a character, he made a show of Whirl, which led to him being even more hated and beaten up in prison, which only added to his mountain of trauma. When he joins the Autbots, what other choice does he have?

Who knows if OP ever learned Whirl's full story, probably not. Whirl doesn't want to be known. He learned about the beating, the senate's role and Whirl tipped him about the bomb. Whirl claims is only for Revenge's Sake, but Orion seems to want to believe there's some good in him, which probably leads to the offer to join the Autobots.

OP probably hoped to make an example of Whirl, but Whirl doesn't exactly get better. He ends up joining the Wreckers which is far from an ideal place for rehabilitation. Whirl probably reminds Optimus of his failings. And you know how it goes for Optimus, his hatred of teh world gets mixed with his hatred of himself which he doesn't know how to deal with.

As for what Whirl feels for OP, well, he probably hates him, he's good at keeping grudges. Must think that Optimus compassion is empty. But Whirl is also secretly soft for those who are nice to him, and despite everything OP treated him nicer tham most. As a captain he was a good boss despite the Empurata and despite probably knowing Whirl was a plant set by the senate because they didn't like the way Orion was doing things (I'm stealing this headcanon from @polyhexian). He tried to give him a place when Whirl didn't have anywere to go. He hates Whirl, but well, everyone does and at least Optimus tries to hide it, and kept acting like it could be better. A part of him probably still wishes for Optimus approval.

So as far as a romantic relationship goes they would be a disaster. They are both desperately seeking one form of validation, Optimus to be right about thee goodness of people and how they can change. Whirl to prove that he's worth something, to not dissapoint someone who always had faith in him superficial as it is. They are both emotionally stunneda and very alone, don't talk about their needs, just keep pushing trying to drag something out of the other person that they don't even name.

And Whirl is someone who actively tries to make himself unpleasant to sabotage his own relationships, which Optimus would try to bear with a patience he lacks until he snaps, which feeds into his guilt. But he can't give up. So they're stuck ina cycle until this thing explodes.

But you know, there could be a lot of growth for both of them if they actually talked to each other, in a way they are what each other needs to smooth their fatal flaws, which is what keeps them there. So either they get their shit together or this train crashes and everyone else suffers from it.

On another note, Whirl is so supremely dislikes Rodimus was the one Megatron in a sea on Whirls in "dress up as someone you hate" night as Swerver's. Can you imagine the bragging rights if he hooked up with Optimus? Whom all the Autobots admire and want to fuck or want as their dad. Whirl would absolutely rub it in their faces lmao. Megatron may also go insane.

Also, Nate has a Whirl & OP fic, not shippy, but with an amazing Optimus voice, if you're interested

[shinjaeha]

ipytm ep 1 (thoughts + spoilers)

so it’s been SUCH a long time since i last did one of these thoughts/recaps posts but !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! god, i’m just so happy that ipytm is HERE. FINALLY. it’s felt like forever, but it’s so wonderful to have our boys back again, and to be continuing on with their story :’) even though i know we’re all in agreement that this won’t be an easy journey for the two of them (or us).

the usual ‘this is not a proper analysis’ disclaimer here. i’m literally just rewatching the whole thing and getting all my thoughts out here (so idk if this is even considered a proper recap but oh well). just whatever comes to mind so it’s as unstructured as always.

SO. we start off with teh and oh-aew playing rock, paper, scissors over having to do something they both clearly don’t want to do. it seems that we all had the same thoughts on this bc as they were playing, all i could think was “imagine if they’re doing this to buy condoms” only, low and behold, for it to ACTUALLY be true 😂 but good to know that our boys are practicing safe sex, i’m so happy for them :’) chaste/virgins no more!!!!! teh being as awkward and fidgety about this as always (I’VE MISSED THIS SO MUCH). they’re just so cute and i’ll never shut up about it!!!!! watching the last ep of itsay was like me exhaling and finally getting to relax a little, but i know that now ipytm’s started i’m gonna have to start holding my breath all over again. so i will def try to enjoy as much of the fluff as i can. i’m never taking that for granted ever again!!

one thing i really love is how itsay ended with them at promthep cape during the sunset as a new couple, and now ipytm’s opened at night, the both of them on the beach in the moonlight, as proper boyfriends. the contrasting images we get at both these scenes is so poetic and beautiful. just seeing their clothes strewn on the hammock is enough to bring all those memories rushing back.

they already kind of set the tone for how both boys, particularly oh-aew, were going to feel with ‘last twilight in phuket’, so it’s not altogether surprising to see oh-aew’s reluctance to leave phuket, and teh’s excitement to go to bangkok. this also makes a lot of sense in terms of their personalities. teh has always been the one that was the more ambitious of the two, so of course anything that brings him a step closer to his goals will excite him, and uni in bangkok has been the first major goal since the very beginning. oh-aew, on the other hand, has never been quite as decided or sure in terms of his goals and aspirations as teh, which would certainly make him feel a lot less enthused about leaving the comfort of home. he’s always been more cautious and careful, where teh tends to be the more impulsive one, so naturally he’s the one that feels more worried about this change while teh’s basically counting down the days till they can leave, not a care in the world.

the contrast between phuket and bangkok is already so jarring from the beginning. where phuket was so relaxed and sleepy, so many open spaces where there was no one else but the two of them...our first shot of bangkok is busy and bustling, cars and skyscrapers everywhere. the two shows are obv connected, but with this new setting, this is a completely different story. we’re (literally) in new territory!!

SO HAPPY TO SEE TEH’S FAM AGAIN!!!!! i’ve missed them too (esp hoon!!!!!). i love it so much that his mum just KNEW. and that she let him know that she knew in the most thoughtful way too. in a way where she was looking out for oh-aew as well :’) it’s interesting how i was genuinely expecting that they would focus a little more on teh struggling to be out in public, but it looks like that that was the main obstacle of itsay, and they’re looking to tell a different story now. he’s so much more comfortable with himself and it really shows. the one person that teh always wanted approval from was his mum (i mean, the initial reason that he wanted to become an actor in the first place was bc she told him how much he looked like yongjian), so once he realised that she knew about him and oh-aew (and they had her blessing), it’s like that’s all he needed. just that acceptance from the person that he respects the most in the world. it reminds me so much of that time he cried to hoon about liking oh-aew and how he was afraid that he wouldn’t be accepted bc he liked boys, and hoon was so clear about how he was okay with it no matter what. teh’s family are always showing him how much they truly love and care for him, and it’s so beautiful. just another weight off his shoulders now that he’s finally free to be himself and to love oh-aew out loud in public and not care about anything else. i’m glad that they got that out of the way so early on so we know that it’s likely not going to be one of the conflicts for the two of them in ipytm at least.

anyway, i’m so happy that they’re finally communicating directly to one another now that they’re a couple...hopefully, no more passive aggressive ig stories pls 😂also, the way safe zone starts playing the moment they see each other!!!!!!!!!!!! i wonder if nadao will also has sad acoustic/piano instrumental versions of safe zone on hand that’ll make me cry like they did with skyline........

FIRST BANGKOK DATE IN THE AQUARIUM!!!!!!!!! the cinematography is just a+++++ but then we knew it would be. i love that shot of them in the aquarium with the fish as their backdrop. it’s just SO stunning. 

the voice recording was SO SWEET. and the way that oh-aew was so touched by teh’s mum’s approval. it’s a weight of his shoulders now too. one less thing to worry about for the future. it’s prob esp emotional for him bc hearing her talk about coming home to phuket to have a meal together must make him feel so incredibly homesick too.

“your mum is romantic, isn’t she?” and then teh really one ups his mum by KISSING OH-AEW IN PUBLIC. it’s the romance for me!!!!!!!!! with the fish in the background...like saying there are so many fish in the sea but you’re the only one for me...sorry, i’m a sap but i just love them so much okay ;;; i live for teh referring to the both of them as a couple/boyfriends and oh-aew pretending like he doesn’t absolutely love that and teh teasing him about it. he’s grown so, so much since the very first ep of itsay. even since ‘last twilight in phuket’ when he was too shy to kiss oh-aew on the cheek and now, in an even bigger city, he’s kissing him on the cheek AND the lips in public like it’s nothing. like it’s the easiest thing in the world. remember back when bas was confessing to oh-aew in their chinese class and teh had his breakdown bc it was so easy for bas yet it was something he couldn’t do?????? LOOK AT HIM NOW. WE’VE COME SO FAR. the character development makes me feel like a proud parent, and i’m SO happy that he’s happy and proud to be with oh-aew. and most importantly, proud to be himself. he really went through so much to get to this point 😭

ANYWAY, this kiss is everything. the contrast between their first kiss, when they were both underwater hidden from view, and now, still surrounded by water, still in their own little space, but on land this time. out in the open. no longer hiding. how you can hear everyone around them speaking in the background, but then when teh leans in, all the sounds fade away bc they may be surrounded by other people, but it’s still just the two of them. their underwater kiss was beautiful, but it always left me with this sadness bc of how restricted they were. this one is so much more satisfying now that they can love each other uninhibited like this. out loud. i really, truly just love them with every beat of my heart ;;;

teh talking about how one day he’ll be on that movie poster reminds me of when they were kids watching ‘sword over the moon’ and he jumped up and told the gang that he wanted to be an actor when he grew up (oh-aew was the only one who didn’t laugh at him back then too). he’s still that same boy, young and idealistic :’) and it’s also so nice seeing how confident teh is now about the two of them both being the male protagonists. like back when oh-aew originally brought it up (and asked if two male protagonists would be okay), he could barely nod his head in response, and now here he is boldly proclaiming that the both of them will be protagonists (a real couple) on movie posters, in different series’ and movies together. although we know the naiveness of this, and that things will prob not work out as smoothly as they’re imagining it will at this moment, it’s still very sweet. they’re just so young and in loooove.

teh spending his first night in bangkok at oh-aew’s place!! first thought, damn oh-aew’s place is real nice...so different from the dorm that teh’s sharing with his roommate. second, they could not be anymore adorable :’))) third, teh leaping out of bed in panic the second he heard what time it was was me yesterday morning after staying up half the night watching ep 1 and realising i was late for work...itsay/ipytm being relatable as always haha.

i like how from the get go they show you how different school in phuket and uni in bangkok is. teh was late a bunch of times in itsay too, and would sneak in without any of his teachers realising...but here he’s late and gets reprimanded on his very first day. anyway, must be nice to have a boyfriend surprise you by preparing milk for breakfast for you (well, i guess unless you’re lactose intolerant like i am hah).

i got soooooooo excited the second i saw goy (and oab!!)...i love the both of them so i really can’t wait to get to know more about their characters (as well as the rest of the new cast of characters) throughout this. it’s one of the things that i’ve been most looking forward to them exploring in this series. but yeah, teh fanboying over top?? i agree with kim. super cute. anyway, i’m already esp intrigued by jai...i was leaning towards him just being a senior/mentor for teh initially (which i still think will be the case), but i also get ~vibes from him that there’s something more to that (though i’m just speculating for now). he’s mysterious, and i have no doubt that there’s more to the story than meets the eye js.

all the tables and chairs at this restaurant are blue and red (as well as their uni ties)...they really gave us our official itsay/ipytm colours whenever possible 😂 in all seriousness though, i feel so sad for oh-aew. when teh asks how his first day was and he’s just like “i have the most fun being here with you now” and then you can see the sudden concern in teh’s face and voice when he’s like “why’s that?” that hurt :( seeing oh-aew sad is the worst...he’s just such a sweetheart. and just like in itsay where teh’s confusion and struggle in accepting his sexuality was such a relatable experience, oh-aew’s difficulty in adjusting to uni and life away from home is too. i totally understand where he’s coming from, and it fucking sucks. making friends in uni (ESP when you have no other friends that went with you to the same uni, and everyone else already seems to know one another) is so. damn. hard. i’ve been in this position so many times before...i’ve gone to unis and gone semester after semester without making ANY friends. it’s such a different experience from high school, and the transition can be really, really difficult. that plus the culture shock of being in an entirely new city with barely any support. i’m actually really glad that ipytm is delving into this experience a little bc i don’t think a lot of shows do tbh.

it also makes me think about how when you’re in high school, getting into uni seems like the end goal a lot of the time (the way the admission exam was always their main goal in itsay), but then you get to uni and you realise that it’s just another step. there’s so much more life once you get in. and that sometimes it’s really not all that it’s cracked up to be.

that sequence of teh progressively waking up earlier and earlier as the sky also gets progressively darker (and taking all sorts of different methods of transport) to get to class on time made me feel so bad for him. working on the play until almost midnight and then having to wake up at like 5am every morning (and not even being able to do fun things like teach oh-aew chinese at 4am anymore?)...the poor kid ;;;

i love plays/musicals but tbh i know next to nothing about how anything backstage works, so i really do love that we’ll get to learn more about that in this series. kind of like how the itsay/ipytm documentaries teach me so much more about how the acting/filming process works behind the scenes. i’d never even really thought about how the stage crew would have to adjust their eyes to the darkness in order to rearrange the props on stage, so that was fascinating to me. it’s such a visual and symbolic aid for the show itself too.

i get the feeling that teh and kim will become a lot closer, and i can’t wait to see how their relationship develops. it’s so great that teh has all these new seniors that he can learn from. just like the blindfold helps him adjust to the dark, having them there to guide him through makes it so much easier for him to adjust to this new city and this new stage of his life.

i knew that oh-aew telling teh to sleep at his dorm was coming bc poor teh was running himself ragged, and oh-aew’s always been so accommodating of teh. he’s always been able to understand...but he’s having so much trouble adjusting, and he’s SO lonely and homesick, it makes my heart ache for him. all these little things tend to build up over time. they’re still in the sweet, honeymoon period of their relationship so it doesn’t seem like a big deal now. but when life gets busy, it becomes increasingly easy to grow apart from someone without even truly realising it (and it’s the same for any type of relationship or friendship).

the emptiness of oh-aew all alone in his huge place :((( like although teh might not particularly like his roommate, he’s basically never alone like this, even in his dorm. he’s homesick and when everyone else is busy with their own lives, it can also feel like you’re being left behind.

yes, they’re playing pp’s new ost!!!!!!!!

FINALLY we meet oh-aew new group of friends!! they seem so sweet. also, why is oh-aew saying his own name like the cutest thing in the world to me :’) i was smiling about how glad i was that he finally found a new gang of friends and then my poor boy started CRYING...but then they basically adopted him into their group and it made me feel more at ease again. i constantly want to hug and reassure oh-aew this whole ep. q making him bingsu to give oh-aew something as close to the taste of home as he could was soooooo lovely. he really needs a friend atm, and i’m glad that he found a bunch of them.

i was so afraid that teh was gonna drop the prop as he was waving to oh-aew haha. that interaction?? adorable. then again, it’s teh/oh-aew, so of course they are. also wondering if there was any significance to that glance between jai and oh-aew bc i know this crew never just puts things in this show randomly hmmm.

aaaaand i was waiting for the first real crack to appear, so when kim was saying they were gonna have to keep fine tuning the play for the contest, i was like OF COURSE. i have no doubt that teh would give up working on the play if oh-aew told him too, but we all know that oh-aew would never ask him to do that. it would be like teh relinquishing his place all over again. and oh-aew knows how goal oriented and driven teh is. this is one of the minor conflicts that has been brewing since the start of itsay, but i think that it’s going to become a much bigger deal now that their actually adults and there are new goals they’re striving towards. the both of them have pretty much always had the same goal, but what happens when this changes...

“but i’ve given so much of our time to other people already” they had to hurt me with that one huh.

but also, the “text me once you arrive at your condo” is a special one for me bc to me that text in itsay was the moment when oh-aew realised that teh might have feelings for him...and i feel real nostalgic about it.

if you think about it, in regards to his aspirations, oh-aew has always been pushed or motivated by teh in some part. when oh-aew was yongjian in the play when they were kids, teh helped him remember his lines, and this in turn made him want to become an actor. when they fell out the first time, one of the reasons oh-aew was so driven to succeed was bc he wanted to prove to teh that he wasn’t going to quit. teh tutored him in chinese so he could get into uni. the first time they ran to the cape, he almost gave up if it hadn’t been for teh motivating him to keep going. he nearly didn’t sit the admission exam until teh relinquished his spot which then spurred him to keep studying so he could get in on his own accord. in oh-aew’s own words, teh has basically always been his biggest rival and inspiration. and even now that they’re in phuket, oh-aew’s been so dependant on teh bc he’s been so lonely...and doesn’t have anyone else in bangkok with him (up until he met his new friends).

originally, i’d speculated that while itsay focussed on teh’s journey of discovery and self-acceptance, ipytm was going to focus more on oh-aew’s journey of discovery and self-growth. and i think based on this ep, it does seem to be heading in that direction? i just get the feeling that oh-aew’s going to learn to become more independent throughout the course of this series. he’ll grow and change, and as a result that may mean they grow apart, but i also think it’s a necessary and healthy thing for the both of them. and just bc you grow apart doesn’t meant that you can’t grow back together again eventually, you know?

but yeah, still doesn’t mean it’s not going to pain me to watch the angst we all know is coming. when teh gave the flowers back to oh-aew, that made my heart ache too. and it felt even more symbolic after watching pp’s mv for ‘hold me tight’ where the sunflower seems to represent oh-aew himself (always turning towards the sun...but what about during the night??). when oh-aew closed his eyes, opened them, and couldn’t see teh on the stage?? it’s both kind of like he’s imagining some sort of future where teh isn’t there with him AND that he’s realising that maybe the stage might not be for him anymore. the passion isn’t there...just darkness. like it was signalling a new chapter starting for oh-aew...and everything in this ep up to this point was just the set up for this realisation.

in the end, what i really want is for the both of them to be happy. that’s always been what i’ve wanted from the start. but i also really want to see how they mature and grow through this experience. watching this ep felt bittersweet in a way bc of that underlying angst that was threaded throughout (even in their happier moments). i only expect that to get heavier with the upcoming eps, but i’m also weirdly a lot more at peace with this than i was during itsay. maybe bc i think it’s arguably even more important and necessary for them to grow as individuals, than as a couple (as much as i want to see them together). i genuinely do believe that they’ll find each other again in the end though.

[grinfodoro-reblogs-corral]

Mirabel doesn’t have a gift and that’s okay

Both on Youtube and like, web in general I always come up with at least a “Casita actually gave a gift to Mirabel!!” thing while I look up Encanto stuff, which bothers me a lot so hey gonna share my quick take on the movie SPOILERS AHEAD 

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First off the interpretation of the ending itself, while it was purposely done in that way so it’s ambigous for the viewer to tell what exactly happened when Mirabel went to open the door I personally think it meant two things. The immediate meaning of Casita “getting back to life” and secondly, subtle because it’s the direct consequence of Casita being Casita again, the Miracle getting back as well and so everyone’s talent. Now while I have to admit that very very deeply I wished Mirabel got herself a gift, I want to think she didn’t, and never will. And that’s what makes this movie good and dear to my heart because think about it Mirabel’s real goal and wish was never to have a gift, but to be accepted by her family, just the way she was. Her desire for a talent comes from this way deeper wish because if her gradma loved her despite her cerimony’s fiasco then she wouldn’t have wished for a gift, she would have been a different person and the movie’s events would have happened on the first place (or at least, not like that with the whole house tearing itself down) The whole movie is about the concept of the Miracle and its consequences on the family. How what was born from a genuine and deep love and was meant to bring joy and helpfulness to the people has turned into something that is seen more like a course or “problematic”: Pepa’s constant wish to control her gift (therefore her emotions, since those are tied) which probably led to her anxiety, the pressure Luisa and Isabela feel because “their gifts are not good enough” and while one always pushes her limits, the others wishes to be something more than a perfect mylady. Then there’s Bruno who’s straight up afraid of his talent because he’s convinced (or better, was convinced) that his gift could only bring chaos and unhappiness to his family and the rest of the village, and Antonio is afraid of geting one himself because of what happened to this “seven feet frame” of an uncle and his beloved cousin Mirabel.

So through the character of Mirabel the story wants to show first to her and then to the viewer both sides of this shiny coin of the talent and of what the Miracle has became because of Alma’a fear of losing it, and then tries to fix and change the initial situation alwasy by the same character. So the story is not about Mirabel’s journey to get herself a gift but to fix what was breaking in the family. Because even if she had one the situatio would have still be the same presented at the beggining of the movie and it would have eventually lead to teh family breaking up under the weight of the Miracle, just like happened towars the end.  So character-speaking, Mirabel never specifically asked for a gift but for acceptance and support, and plot-speaking she getting a gift wouldn’t have have a huge influence on the movie because her purpose is to fix what is broken, just like she says in the already mentioned song “Waiting for a Miracle”. Therefore, she getting a gift at the end of the movie wouldn’t have made sense in any way possible because at that point she both got some of the support she was seeking since the beggining and the family, Alma included, remembered the true meaning of the Miracle. I’ll go even further, giving her a gift would have actually ruined the whole movie. Because think about it what is wrong and makes Mirabel’s relantionship with her gradma verbally-toxic for her? She lacking a gift So giving her a talent would have yes meant for Mirabel being finally approved by her but the support she would have gotten would be “fake”, and given only because Mirabel became someone else, someone better in her opinion. I think that’s needless to say that would have been extremely wrong. So yeah, you can cry for Mirabel’s lacking for a gift but she sure isn’t anymore

[movedyourchair505]

Napule Nights - cinquantadue 

Can you believe this is chapter fifty-two? I sure can’t. And this might be the last chapter, but there are many many one shots coming that I’ve planned for a while but didn’t find fitting for the main plot. I hope you’re excited and I hope this chapter lives up to everyone’s expectations, it concludes the story, it teases a little of what’s coming in the one shots. Also, you bet Elana ghostwrote this 👻 This wouldn’t be the last chapter without a smut warning ~

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SEI MESI DOPO

The sound of her heels clicking on the ground echoed off the walls of the narrow corridor, her hips swaying, clad tightly in a decadent piece of crimson red and champagne-coloured fabric as she walked flanked by Helders and Cook, a smile of content playing around her lips and she only slowed when the men behind her walked ahead and Cook knocked on the door to Alexander's office, then pushed down the handle and held it open for Jade to enter.

Alexander was sat at his desk, smoke rings rising from his lips, the cigarette resting in between his fingers, but he was entirely focused on the stack of documents in front of him, his brows furrowed, his jaw tense. A few stray strands of his hair had fallen over his forehead, everything else was slicked back, and it took him a moment to lift his gaze, to look up to see who had interrupted him. He flicked some ash off the tip of his smoke, then took another drag, his other hand reaching for the glass of whisky before him, a sip once he'd blown out the smoke, watching momentarily as it ascended towards the ceiling before he leaned back in his chair and focused the entirety of his attention on Jade as she stepped inside, a smile tugging on the corners of his mouth.

He gave a nod and his security left the room, closing the door and he watched Jade step forward, running her fingers through her hair and his eyes followed the movement of her fingers, the thought of it being his own, to pull, to wind her hair around his hand and pull her in, to see the pleasured way she rolled back her eyes in return. Momentarily, he forgot what had been on his mind before she'd entered. “Jade.”

“Alexander.” She licked her lips, came to a stop on the other side of the desk, then smoothed her dress with her hands but before she could sit down, before she could say any more, he raised his eyebrows at her, lifted his hand to beckon her closer with just a twitch of his fingers, but the simple movement made her smile grow wider and she strode around the desk slowly, came to a stop in front of him when he spread his thighs apart to make room for her and pull her in, sat up straight in his chair, taking one last drag from his cigarette before crushing it in the ashtray without taking his eyes off her, another gesture with his fingers and she bent down to him, her fingers wrapping around the armrests of his chair on either side to steady herself and she sighed out with relief when he reached around to take a hold of the back of her neck to keep her close, pressing his lips against hers.

He took his time, at least tried to, but got carried away way too quickly as soon as he got a taste of her, the bitterness of lime and alcohol lingering on her tongue, blending with the sweetness of something else, the irresistible fulfillment he'd never get enough of and he hummed into the kiss, forced her lips apart with his slowly, sighing when she shifted forward, when all it took was his hand coming down on her hip for her to shift and lower herself into his lap, cupping his face and running her fingers through his hair, brushing it back from his forehead and scratching lightly at the back of his head with her nails, tugging on his hair until a low moan escaped his lips, shameless, eager.

A soft giggle bubbled from her lips and she drew back, smoothed his hair back gently again. “Do you not want the report on the meeting?” She teased, pushing her lower lip forward.

Alex chuckled, his lips slightly pink, his eyes wide as he looked back at her with his eyebrows raised as if in disbelief.

Jade smiled, could despite the relaxation she'd evoked within him sense an underlying tension, and she didn't want to torture him any longer. “Everything went well” she stated proudly, could not suppress the smug smile that had threatened to spread across her face.

His jaw tensed, his gaze hardening. “Define well, darlin'.”

“They all agreed to your deal” she said, her fingers still toying absently with his hair.

“All of them?”

She hummed, quite pleased with herself, nodding confidently. “All of them. Palermo, Bologna, Florence and Rome. When Serena had them sign everything, we couldn't believe it but I sold the terms in a way they couldn't refuse.”

The tension on his face was replaced instantly with a smirk and he licked his lips, nodding slowly. “Fookin'ell, pupa” he drawled. “Knew yeh'd wrap 'em all 'round yehr finger.”

She smiled back at him proudly, nodding her head. “It's all your brilliant plan, baby.”

Alex hummed appreciatively, tilting his head into the touch of her hand slightly, her words doing wonders against the stress he'd built up for himself within the last couple of weeks because of the daring deal he'd been trying to get through with several other important families in other metropolises. “Couldn't 'ave realised it all wifout yeh, doll” he sighed. “Yeh're fookin' smarter than all the people they sent.”

Her smile grew wider and she cupped his face into her hands again, leaning in to reconnect their lips, to kiss him deeply, eager, excited.

Alex chuckled darkly when he drew back with his fingers in her hair to keep her where he liked, licking his lips. “Yeh like tha', dun't yeh?” He hummed. “Can't 'elp yehrself when I praise yeh.”

She leaned backwards into his touch, her hands falling slowly to his shoulders and she bit her lip guiltily, pouting back at him. “Can't help myself...” she mumbled, her heart skipping a beat from the way he looked at her, took her in and it was like she had no control over the spell merely looking at him, hearing him, feeling him cast over her, she couldn't get enough, had made a point of sticking strictly to business when she saw him alone in his office, but there was no resisting him, never when he looked so ridiculously attractive through the most simple movement of his jaw, a cock of his eyebrow, the smile playing around his lips when he teased her, yet admired her, looked at her in a way she never would have dreamt of. “Did do a good job though” she hummed.

He chuckled again, his hand moving to the side of her face, dragging his thumb along her lower lip slowly. “Yeh weren't stressed?” He asked gently. “Yeh alreyht, me love?”

Jade nodded slowly. “Mmmm, but I've missed you all day, Alexander” she sighed. “I need you to take me home soon.”

He raised an eyebrow, rolling his eyes slightly at the feigned dramatic tone in her voice, his gaze flickering to the stack of paper on the desk. “Got sum work, pupa...” he stated, but the tone in his voice was far from restrained, the moment she'd sat down on him, the moment she'd walked in even, he'd been tempted to give into his growing desire for her but he cleared his throat, his finger drawing circles into her skin through the tight material of her dress. “The contract, Jade. Your contract.”

She blinked back at him sheepishly, her long eyelashes grazing her soft skin. “My contract?” She asked.

Another dark chuckle and he shook his head. “Yeh fookin' love 'earin' it, dun't yeh?” He teased, smoothing his thumb over her jaw, drawing her in closer.

“I just don't know what you're talking about, Alexander...” She sighed.

The softness in her eyes, the desperate need for his approval ever-present, he couldn't help but give in to her games, the way she begged him to appreciate her the way they both knew she deserved. “'s tha' contract, pupa...” he hummed. “Tha' determines tha' yeh're no longer workin' for meh.” He took a pause, enjoyed the anticipation in her eyes too much to not at least tease her, play her game by his rules. “Yeh're gunna work wif meh.”

She licked her lips, leaning contently into the touch of his fingers. “Mmm, I kind of like working for you...” she coaxed, leaning closer to him, her nails scratching lightly at his skin, her fingers toying with the chain around his neck, the shift of her grinding her hips making him swallow hard, his skin straining over his throat, sparking her attention, an deep desire to mark him reignited within her. “I like sleeping with the boss.”

He chuckled. “Tha's not gunna change, pupa” he drawled, his voice deep, irresistible. “I'm still the fookin' boss of yeh.” He licked his lips. “In fact, I'm gunna take yeh reyht 'ere.”

Her eyes widened, her lips parting when she felt his hand come up and his fingers wrapped slowly around her throat, his thumb caressing her skin, making her purr with delight. “Baby...”

“Bend over.” His eyes flickered to the desk, undeniably authoritative, but he added a nod toward the desk for good measure.

Jade licked her lips, caved to the twitch of her cheeks and she smiled mischievously at him. “Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you?”  

The look in her eyes when he tightened the grip of his fingers slightly around her throat held nothing but pure delight, excitement. “Jade...” he drawled lazily, the tone of his voice low, guttural, his thumb stroking lightly over her throat. “Didn't I used teh scare yeh?” Another squeeze of his fingers that had her lips parting and her heart racing. “Swear yeh used teh beh scared of meh.”

She hummed, arching her back to shift closer to him, but he held her firmly in place, the muscles in his arms visibly straining underneath the tight suit. “Mmm, not anymore, cucciolo.”

His jaw locked, his gaze hardening. “Pupa, dun't call me tha'...”

“Mmm, Alexan-...” She was caught off when he reached suddenly between her legs, merely to lift her off him, but leaving her throbbing, needing more as she stood, caught her balance on her heels, but his hand was still firmly locked around her throat and she smiled back at him.

“Always 'ave teh talk back t'meh, dun't yeh?” There was a sparkle in her eyes and she shifted to the side, he could sense the obedience, the determination, the need for which she was ready to do anything and follow his every command. So he let go, immensely pleased when she bent over the edge of his desk slowly.

But she wasn't done. “It's because you shouldn't have the satisfaction of the last word, A-...” She was once again cut off in her cheek, this time by the stinging sensation he ignited on her ass, the impact of his hand, the burn of his rings forceful even through the fabric through her dress making her lurch forward. “Fuuuck...” she sighed, the throbbing emptiness between her thighs becoming more apparent, but before she could properly press them together, he'd nudged them apart, had situated himself back in his chair, forced her down with his hand smoothing down her back until her face was pressed against the hard surface of his desk.

The way her body responded, shaking but leaning instantly towards him for more, it never failed to fuel his desire to ruin her, to give her everything she wanted and make her moan his name until she couldn't move, to spank her until she couldn't take more because she always could. “Got nofin' t'say now, doll?” He teased, this time bringing his hand forward to come down harshly between her legs, watching with pleasure as her entire body shook and she squirmed, before pushing her ass back towards him.

“Please...” she whispered.

He chuckled. “Dun't 'ave teh beg meh...” he hummed, slowly pushing up her dress until he had access to her bare skin. “I'm gunna make sure yeh're well-taken care off before yeh walk out of 'ere.” Smack. “Gunna make yeh scream, pupa...”

She whimpered. “Alexander...”

“Yes, doll?” He asked nonchalantly, his full attention on her, her body's every curve, every movement.

“M-More.”

His lip twitched into a half-smile and he once again brought his hand forward, colliding harshly with her ass, again, again and without mercy as soon as she'd asked for it, moaned louder and got visibly more aroused with each smack, groaning obscenely when the last hit landed between her legs again and he could feel the eagerness, his hand wet with her arousal, her desperation. “Fookin'ell, Jade...” Her excitement, her need for him never ceased to amaze him, each and every time he drove her to desperation by merely bending her over and spanking her, she didn't just overwhelm him all over again, but she made him want her even more, fuelled him to give her more, to drive her closer to her limit that he had not yet found, spank her harder, fuck her faster and reach deeper, hold her tighter.

She shivered when she felt his fingers between her legs, spreading her wetness around before the tips of his calloused fingertips nudged against her entrance, teasing, toying with her and pretending to push them inside several times, only to disappoint, to have her writhing beneath his touch, to have her crying out his name, then arching, lifting her hips when his fingers finally sunk inside her, the bend of his knuckles, the way he stroked deliciously and irresistibly at her walls too much, a welcome contrast to the burning pain of her red skin, but it was hardly enough to soothe her, hardly enough to satiate her urges. “I-I need your cock...”

Alex chuckled, curling his fingers inside her teasingly, lifting her hips slightly off the edge, for the moment he was merciless, enjoyed feeling her walls clenching around his fingers, begging him for more, for a tighter fit, a more challenging stretch. “'course yeh do, pupa...” he hummed. “Fink I need yeh t'beg now.”

She needed no telling twice, turned her head to look back at him over her shoulder and he rose to his feet, looked down at her, his stare hard, but she knew it wouldn't take much until he give in, he was just as desperate for her and she enjoyed coaxing him to cave immensely. “Please” she whispered. “Please fuck me-ooo-oooh...”

With lazy circles, he started rolling his thumb over her clit, his fingers nudging deeper inside her and into the same spot over and over again, making it impossible for her to form a coherent sentence, but it didn't keep her from trying and he smiled to himself, overwhelmed by the way she did anything to get what she wanted, to get him to take her, was beyond desperate for him to fuck her.

“F-Fuck, Alexander, I n-need your cock, pleaseee...” He was driving her wild but it wasn't enough, tears of desperation and intensity rolling down her smooth cheeks, her body shaking. “I want you to ruin m-me...”

“This not enough for yeh?”

She breathed heavily, shaking her head, but he reached out instantly to force her down again. “N-No...”

He chuckled, abruptly pulling his fingers out of her, watching closely to see her squirm, but stay in position, her fingers gripping on to the edge of the desk, but as soon as he'd unbuckled his belt, he reached to close his hands around her wrists and pull her arms behind her back. “I'm gunna need yeh teh back up on meh, pupa...” he drawled with his hands now occupied. “C'mon, doll, yeh want me cock so work for it...”

He had full control of her the way he held her and she knew that he was just waiting for her to line herself up with his cock before he'd take any possible chance of leverage away, but she needed him so badly, the throbbing emptiness between her legs agony and she stepped back slightly as he pulled her in, her breath hitching in her throat when she felt his tip rubbing against her folds, trying desperately to angle her hips so he would push inside her, she couldn't take any sort of disappointment now and as soon as he nudged his hips forward, he pushed her further onto the desk so her heels slipped off the ground, leaving her completely and hopelessly at his mercy.

“Yeh stay like tha'...” he drawled, enjoyed the way she writhed, shook, tried to push back on him for him to fill her completely, her walls closing around him, begging for more for him but he took his time, let go of her hands momentarily to shrug out of his suit jacket and roll up his sleeves before drawing his belt from his suit trousers, humming contently as her hands were still at her back, in place and obedient as he'd left them and he looped his belt around her wrists, tied them together tightly, then landed another slap on her ass bending forward and over her, sinking deeper inside her, muffling her moan when he forced his fingers into her mouth, his other hand gathering a fistful of her hair, pulling her head back slightly just like he'd imagined when she'd walked in, knew her eyes were rolling back from the force of him, the way he never failed to make her lose control.

She sucked on his fingers gratefully, her soft whimpers muffled as she struggled to take him, fresh tears of pleasure pearling down her face as her walls tried to accommodate to his size, the burn of his cock stretching her blissful, stealing her breath from her lungs as she tried to keep control of her body, trying to move her hands despite the restraints but being instantly put in her place by feeling of the belt.

“I'm gunna bruise yeh so good, Jade...” he drawled. “Joost like the first time I 'ad yeh bent over me desk.”

A loud, animalistic moan escaped her when he drew back his hips momentarily, only to push right back into her, burying himself deep inside her, grunting at the way she squeezed him again instantly, her body trembling as he started to pick up the pace, determined to live up to his promise, one hand clamping down on her hip, his heart racing.

Each thrust, each buck of his hips, each time she was rocked forward onto the desk mercilessly, she was driven further and further into oblivion. He let go of her hair and greedily reached forward to pull down her dress, to expose her chest, rolling her hard nipples between his fingers before he stood straight again, pushed her down again, the friction of her breasts rubbing against the top of the table, the dripping wetness between her legs, the way he stroked her walls relentlessly, pushed inside her harder with each thrust, she could hardly control herself, could feel her eyes rolling back in her head, was crying out desperately around his fingers, sucking to have at least something to hold onto, dribbling around them slightly as she could no longer focus on anything but the pleasure he evoked within her, made it curse through her entire body and it was slowly threatening to spill over.

“Pupa, are yeh cummin' for meh alreadeh?”

She gasped when he pushed inside her hard again, mewling desperately, doing her best to try and nod, breathing out shakily when he drew his fingers from her mouth.

“Talk t'meh, principessa...” he demanded.

“Let me cum, Alexander” she choked out as his fingers closed around her neck instead. “P-Please let me cum, I'll do anything...”

Without another word, he buried himself deep inside her, picking up the pace, harder, deeper, then undoing the belt hastily to wrap his arm around her and pull her up against his body, his chest pressed to her back, their hearts thudding fast and hard and in unison and he groaned when he felt her walls fluttering around his cock, brushing her hair off her shoulder and attaching his lips to her neck, sucking, biting, his arm locked tightly around her to keep her right there, to force her to come undone to the point where she had no other choice.

She cried out desperately, whimpered his name but her voice was nothing but a hint, his fingers around her throat as well as on her hip holding her in place, made it impossible for her squirms to be successful, forcing the intensity of her orgasm, her back arching, her head on his shoulder until he could feel her growing weaker and he held onto her tighter, his bicep straining, his hand  falling from her throat and instead smoothing down her back as he laid her down over the desk again, her walls still closing around him, soothed, yet asking for more and before she could catch her breath, he snapped his hips up into hers again, hard and fast and he pushed his hand between her body and the table, only to angle his fingers so he could reach her clit, rubbing mercilessly, her choked breaths and soft mewls of his name fuelling him. “Want two more from yeh before I fill yeh up, pupa...”

With her cheek pressed against the surface of the desk and her legs shaking, her entire body shaking, she had no choice but to comply, wouldn't have had it any other way as he flicked his thumb against her clit, then rolled it generously between his fingers as the pleasure surged through her again, her body once again tense, her walls once again struggling as she squeezed around him, the burn, the friction, her eyes rolled back again, no sound leaving her lips this time, a silent cry as her lips parted all she could give.

Alex grunted, reveling in the way she took him so beautifully, her fingers tense as she gripped on to the edge of the desk to take everything he offered and ask for more. “One more, doll, need yeh t'let go wif meh...”

“A-Alexander...” she whimpered, her voice straining, her breath shaking. She wanted more, she was already desperate for more, trying to move her hips back into his, to fuck herself on him until both his hands came down on her hips to hold her steady, to take a deep breath to control himself, compose himself until he'd gotten her there again. She was too much, her desire matched by only his own in a way that was so unapologetic, so beautiful, and he never wanted to tame it.

He started fucking her harder, rubbing her clit, flicking his fingers each time he drew back, only to take her breath away once again with his cock stroking her already tender walls and he was satisfied knowing she'd be bruised the next day, inside and out and he had every intention of tending to her every wish when she was.

It didn't take much now, the pace, the intensity with which he was fucking her was too much, her last orgasm hardly faded as she felt the next approaching, the bliss he evoked within her all blending together and she wanted him hard, wanted to feel him come undone for her, wanted to feel him mark her. “B-Baby, please...”

He leaned over her, buried himself deep inside her, his hand running slowly down her arm until he covered her hand with his, feeling the cold of the large diamond ring against the heat of his palm before intertwining her fingers, his chest once again pressed up against her back as he trapped her between his body and the desk. “C'mon, principessa...” he moaned, now more of a plea than a command. “Cum for meh.”

She felt his cock twitch inside her the moment her own walls started tightening around him again and she sobbed, moaned desperately for him, soothed by the warmth of his body, the intoxicating blend of smoke and whisky and spicy cologne, his hand enveloping hers, his lips once again attached to her neck, groaning against her skin as he released inside her, stayed buried deep as her orgasm washed over her, took over her, shook through her long after they'd collapsed over the table, panting, the only thing she could focus on now to keep herself sane were the soft kisses he pressed to her shoulder. “Alexander...”

“I'm 'ere...” he drawled, caressing her hand gently with his thumb before moving slowly to stand up, smoothing his hands down her back, then stepping away far enough to slip out of her, careful, gentle when he heard her whimper and he moved to sit down, tucking himself in before moving to pull her dress down for her, careful when he felt her shift slightly, adjusting it when she rose to stand on her own two feet, making sure he was ready to hold her if she lost her balance.

She swallowed, steadying herself on the desk as she stood straight and turned around to him, before she could fix herself up, he'd reached up to pull up the top of her dress to cover her fully again, brushing his hands down the fabric to smooth it down before beckoning for her to lean down and she swallowed when he wiped her eyes gently, her heart skipping a beat when instead of letting her go to leave she stepped back to turn, he looped his arm around her, pulling her down to sit on his thigh.

“No, doll...” he hummed. “Stay 'n 'ave a drink wif meh.”

Her lips curled into a smile, her mind still hazy but she pressed herself closer to him, curving into him and ignoring the way some of her movements already caused her body to ache, wrapping her arm around his shoulder and watching as he took out a second crystal glass to pour her some whisky while she reached for the pack of cigarettes on the side of his desk and fished one out to light for him, taking a drag herself until he was ready and parted his lips for her to place it there, trapping it between his fingers once he'd taken a drag. He blew the smoke away from her, then pressed a kiss to her jaw.

“Yeh're fookin' perfect” He muttered, nudging her neck lightly before resting his head there. “Yeh kno' tha'? Joost fookin' incredible.”

She chuckled, running her fingers through his hair to brush back the strands that had once again fallen out of place before taking a sip from her drink, instantly soothed by the burn down her throat. “Are you saying that because of the sex?” She teased.

He lifted his head abruptly, his eyes wide as he stared back at her. “Fookin' no.”

She tugged lightly on his hair, a quiet giggle bubbling from her lips that made his heart stop momentarily. “I'm just teasing you, baby.”

He sighed. “Yeh kno' I fookin' love yeh. Never gunna let anehfin' 'appen t'yeh.”

She swallowed. “Alexander...” she hummed. “You're not worried about the job next week?”

He blinked. “Jade, unless weh figure it out...”

“Alexander” she interrupted. “It's not your job to worry.”

She could see the corner of his lip twitch and he shook his head, rolling his eyes to conceal the amusement, the temporary distraction she'd achieved. “Mmmm, what is me job, pupa?” He chuckled, leaning further into her embrace, well-aware that once again, he was putting too much unnecessary pressure on himself.

She licked her lips. “Looking pretty, handsome...” she said. “Keeping out of trouble. And being the fucking boss.”

“Fook, Jade...” he sighed, taking another drag from his cigarette, then holding it out to her. “This is why yeh're 'ere.”

She took a drag, blowing the smoke to the side without diverting her gaze. “Because I tell you you're pretty?” She giggled.

“Because yeh fookin' remind meh who I am. Because I need yeh, because yeh're fookin' mine.”

She smiled, pressing her lips together. “Should we figure this out then?” She asked, leaning to the side to put down her glass and familiarise herself with the work he was doing. “Show me the maps.”

He couldn't help but smile to himself as he watched her, absently held the cigarette to her lips and watched them close around it, pillowy and soft, her eyes wide, she was wide awake and ready to do whatever it took to help, her skin slightly red at her chest, her face sheeny and glowy and her gaze determined and he couldn't help but admire her. Mere moments ago she'd been bent over and crying for him, now she was sat comfortably in his lap, warm, about to show him just why he adored her so much.

She could feel him watching her from the corner of her eye as she scanned the maps, traced ways with her fingers, furrowed her brows with concentration, the expression only disrupted when he tightened his arm around her and dug his fingers playfully into her side, making her squirm, giggle and lean further into him when he shuffled to properly look at the maps himself, pointing out the first ideas he'd had that deviated from the original, still risky plan before she started bouncing ideas back and forth with him, getting lost in the way he spoke, the way his mind worked, brilliant and unapologetic, until he ultimately swept her off her feet.

“Mmmm, this is why you're the boss, baby” she purred, tightening her own arm around him.

He looked pleased with himself, a smug smile spread across his gorgeous features and he couldn't help but lean back with a sigh of relief, proud of himself, proud that she was proud. “I never would've envisioned it like tha', tha knows, darlin'? But it's so mooch better.”

She brushed his hair back again, hummed as he leaned into her touch. She nodded, her heart skipping a beat when his soft brown eyes met hers, like warm chocolate, like anything was possible. “I love you, Alexander” she whispered, shuffling closer in his lap, pressing her lips to his only for a moment, but finding herself hopelessly lost in everything he stood for once again. “You'll have everything you want” she promised. “King of Napoli.”

It took a moment for him to open his eyes again. It'd all been worth it. He knew things would have been very different had she not gotten into his car, had she not decided to push him to his limits. He pressed his lips together, resting his forehead against hers. “Gunna need yeh by me side though, darlin'” he drawled, tightening his arms around her. “Gunna need me queen.”

---

There have been many anon messages that reassured me to keep writing this and make it as big of a thing as it became (52!!! chapters), so I want to thank everyone that’s ever given me feedback on it (let me know what you think of the story in general, your favourite bits, etc. if you like), and I also want to say thank you first and foremost to Elana who literally wrote this story as much as me with her lines and encouragement and everything (take the compliment, bitch), Denise (who has the most iconic Kermit reaction photos and the loveliest feedback), Elle (if she remembers or not, she initially killed my scepticism for the request and told me how it could work), Ela (for pushing me to mention Matt more), Hannah (I love how much you stanned every chapter!), Lyss (!!! for understanding each and every word exactly like I intend it and giving the most elaborate reviews, you’re an icon), Lizzy (for being super supportive!!) and Michaela and Maike for constantly being lovely about the story and not giving up on it! So, anon, I don’t know if this what you were expecting and if you’re still reading, but look what you made me do. Writing this couple is a joy and I am excited for the one shots, the support for the story has been overwhelming and I haven’t gotten a response like it to my writing since I wrote fics when I was like 17. So much love xxxx

[wavemaker9]

we’ve been talking about beetlejuice musical for xover reasons and doug being cast in that reminded me of other musical xover with doug in it so re watched be more chill animatics today and here are some important parts i still think about for the xover. a lot of these i’m sure i’ve already mentioned last time i talked about this xover but yknow

i always picture doug in a shitty black denim vest or some shit compared to a cleaned up look so i’m torn between him taking it off to throw at kyle or taking it off for the spinny bit. i love the spinny bit more so i lean towards that i mean they’re both so good but look at this little bit, fantastic

doug just having the ability to make kyle cry at a whim. does it specifically so kyle can get sympathy when eminem dies. i just /love/ the back and forth “did you know that this was gonna happen?” “of course not!” “so it’s a coincidence you told me to wear this shirt?” “of course not!” “wha- did- did you /kill/ eminem????” “noottttttt exactly” + “a favorable outcome” “Favorable for who???” 

doug using ivan’s image to finally motivate kyle to turn his back on blake, it’s very rude. 

IT STILL KILLS ME KYLE AGREEING TO ERASE BLAKE FROM HIS VISION THAT’S HIS BEST FRIEND DOUG AND YOU FUCKING THANOS SNAP HIM AWAY YOU’RE THE WORST

i want a slightly more obvious eye roll on the “could you get out of my head for /five/ minutes?” “...of course.” ust like a shade more obvious for it to really fit doug

“your life was so pitiful before” doug fuck off no one even asked????

the rehearsal song feels a little more wild energetic for ivan maybe??? but also i love it??? because A, ivan getting a whole song about how much he loves play rehearsal because normal socializing is hard and he doesn’t know what to do a lot of the time but in play he has a script and direction and he knows what’s going to happen next and it’s really nice. B, Kyle just staring at Ivan near the end totally enamored by him while ivan talks about his passions

OH ALSO FOR THE REHEARSAL SONG i still love blake reassuring kyle that he doesn’t have to go in and talk to ivan but also if he doesn’t they’ll mock him forever, so yknow. 

there’s a lot of little things in the more than survive animatic but my favorite little detail is just kyle being distracted by ivan and then tripped by some bullies and stumbling and blake catching him the whole bit is very good

this one they did is for OCs instead of the full musical animatic they are/were(?) doing but also i’m also still upset about blake slowly having a meltdown because they feel like they’ve fully lost kyle as their one and only friend and the only person who really made the bullshit of high school okay and at that point like what’s the fucking point ugh all of this is the worst and they canNOT go back into the party right now just let them be miserable and grieve. 

and no animatics that fit the way i want them to for be more chill part 1 but that one and part 2, those just are always important for doug spending 1 entire song calling out every little flaw kyle has and then manipulating kyle to manipulate others and then a second song of just fully trying and succeeding at getting kyle to think instinctively of himself in the same terrible ways that doug did through the whole first song. kyle previously having met all that talk with a winced “jesus christ” vs “now repeat after me: wo~ah, everything about you is so terrible-.” “everything about me is just terrible” “(with approval) good. wo~ah, everything about you makes me wanna die-.” “everything about me makes me wanna die” “(pleased) now you’ve got it.” ughhh kyle’s voice cracking slightly on ‘wanna die’ noooo. boy no. 

also just doug making kyle think an entire mall’s worth of people think that everything about him sucks. “and boy can [he] see why!” sometimes high school just be like that tho

oh i heard the broadway recording of be more chill part 1 and this isn’t for the xover but i do not like it? he has a chill surfer bro vibe which if memory serves in the book the squip was supposed to look/sound like keanu reeves so i guess i get it? but also compared to the original recording that used the more stern and firm voice of teh squip and had it work for teh nature of teh song showing all these sudden and strict rules and control jeremy has to deal with, feels weird. OH I WENT TO UPGRADE AND THEY CHANGED SOME CHARACTER VOICES THERE TOO???? oh and there’s an entirely different section of lyrics at the end????? mmm i’ll have to process all of this an entirely different time, back to the other soundtrack for now

[spmcomic]

Moonless

Chapter 1: (part 1 | part 2)    Chapter 2: (part 1 | part 2)

It was well into autumn in this world. The leaves were brilliant shades of red and orange and had turned the whole mountainside into a sunset. The color was lost on O’Chunks, in the night, but Nastasia kept her head turned upward, watching the dry leaves rustle against each other. The hazy clouds and the unnaturally muggy air reminded her of when she’d died. She wasn’t sure if this world had a moon, though. She remembered the moonlight.

There wasn’t much to talk about, that night, so the three of them walked together quietly. Nastasia had offered to lead the way in the dark- no point in asking O’Chunks to stay in front.

“Count Bleck does not see why his two minions decided to waste time on this frivolous endeavor,” the Count spoke up from behind her. He’d already said that, twice now. She sighed. He might be getting sick. She could practically hear O’Chunks shrug behind her, but she knew the Count’s focus was on the pages, so the gesture was only to himself.

Ignoring him didn’t always work, but Nastasia didn’t have the energy to do the song and dance again. And- yeah, the Count repeated himself.

O’Chunks groaned, trying to remember what he’d said last time. “I told yeh, I… was about teh… hurl? Issat what I said?”

The Count must have nodded, because he continued after a pause. “… If we teleported even one more time today.”

“Count Bleck worries about the future, if the minions cannot handle such a small discomfort,” he replied, comforted. Nastasia blinked. Comforted?

“Thanks fer caring, Count,” O’Chunks sighed. He yawned. “Don’t know what we’d do without yeh.”

There was another pause. Nastasia didn’t bother saying her line. The weather was making her uneasy. Needed to keep her attention on those swaying branches.

The Count repeated himself expectantly, almost ending his sentence on a question. Nastasia gritted her teeth. Anything could be lurking along this trail. Maybe it would have been better to stomach the portal.

“Maybe next time,” the Count prompted her, gently.

“Maybe next time,” she finally agreed. The Count went quiet again, for now, satisfied with only the beginning. Maybe he just wanted to hear them talking. She hummed under her breath to distract herself from the quick slap of guilt.

That was when she spotted the cloaked figure at the side of the road, in the distance. She tensed and motioned for O’Chunks’ attention. “Someone’s ahead.” The man was tapping a dark lantern. He looked up as they approached and raised his hand.

“Hello!” he called. “Can you help me?”

Now that he was looking in their direction, Nastasia noticed his eyes had a faint glint to them. Very dim, but similar to the Count’s warm glow.

“Hello!” O’Chunks replied. He was squinting in the darkness, straining to make out any details under the shroud. The man had fair features- nothing worth reporting. Nastasia estimated he was a little smaller than the dark cloak made him look. The Count always cut a more intimidating figure under his own. “What do yeh need?”

Nastasia folded her hands behind her back, to hide her nervous wringing. She felt the Count’s fingers brush against hers and froze. He hadn’t done that in…

“My lantern’s gone out and I can’t see the trail,” the stranger was saying. “I was hoping to make it to Celestic in one go…”

“Ah, we’re headin’ that way,” O’Chunks said brightly. “Yeh could join us fer the night. We’re stoppin’ in a few hours, though, so yeh’d ‘ave to wait ‘til tomorrow to get there.”

“That would be so helpful,” said the stranger. “Thanks, stranger. I’m Doyle.” He held out his hand.

O’Chunks took it, and perhaps his grip was too solid, because Doyle flinched. “O’Chunks. This ‘ere’s Nassy, and the blue guy is the Count.”

“Nastasia will be fine,” she corrected. O’Chunks grimaced apologetically.

“The Count, huh? Just a title?” Doyle leaned over, staring at the Count. Nastasia checked over her shoulder. He was mechanically flipping pages in the Prognosticus. Either the Count remembered he didn’t need his hands, or the book grew irritated with him, because the pages began flipping themselves. O’Chunks insisted the book was inanimate, but Nastasia could swear she saw it looking at her sometimes.

“Th’Count’s not usually one t’respond much,” O’Chunks explained.

“He’s a little occupied,” Nastasia said.

Doyle shrugged when the Count did not acknowledge his presence. And with that, they continued. Now Nastasia had to pay attention to one more thing. At least O’Chunks was keeping his eye on the traveler for her.

“So what brings you three down this dark path so late at night?” Doyle asked. She heard the clank of O’Chunks’ bag as he shifted its weight. Her own shoulders were starting to ache under her backpack. But it would be another two hours before it would be reasonable to set up camp and make dinner. Else the Count would get restless.

O’Chunks grunted. “Seein’ the sights. I heard good things about th’tourist stops o’er there.”

“Interesting. I heard there wasn’t much to the town at all, actually. I was only passing through, myself.”

O’Chunks’ voice took on an edge that Nastasia barely picked up. “Well, when things’re slow as they are with us, yeh take what yeh can get.” Whatever he didn’t like would have to wait until later. They wouldn’t be able to signal effectively in the dark directly in front of the traveler. In the meantime, though, he needed her to keep a lookout. He could guard the Count. She was wary- it usually took far longer for O’Chunks to decide he didn’t like someone.

“Hey, Count,” Doyle’s tone remained lighthearted. “Are you some kind of caster?” There was an awkwardly long pause. “Magic? You know?”

“I told yeh,” O’Chunks started. “He doesn’t-“

“Count Bleck does not see why his two minions decided to waste time on this frivolous endeavor,” he interrupted. Nastasia frowned, sweeping her gaze across the branches overhead, shoulders tensed. He was unusually lucid tonight, if he was effectively recycling his sentences. Risky, around a stranger…

O’Chunks made a sniffing sound. “Be nice, Count, eh? Doyle’s a guest.”

“That’s an interesting book. Is it part of you or something?”

The Count’s voice took on an odd, hollower tone. “One could say that. Count Bleck acts for the Prognosticus. He is chosen to carry out its instructions.”

“… Why?”

“Bleh heh heh heh… He is powerful and obedient. The two most important traits for a faithful servant.”

Nastasia’s head instinctively turned toward the ground. O’Chunks stumbled and scuffed his boot against the dusty path. Keeping a lookout was becoming an almost impossible task. What was going on back there?

“The traveler will have many more questions. But he will only find answers later.”

“Count!” O’Chunks cut in merrily. “What d’yeh think we should cook up fer dinner tonight? We should make our way through those ‘eavy cans o’soup, yeah? Up t’yeh!”

The Count abruptly went quiet. Nastasia heard a quiet pat as O’Chunks kneeled and caught the Count’s dropped book before it hit the ground.

“Eh, worth a try,” he said. She frowned.

“Soup?” Doyle prompted, the subject successfully changed. “I’m a little picky… What kinds have you got?”

“We’ve got th’bases covered,” O’Chunks said. “Vegetable, chicken noodle, bean, broccoli…”

Nastasia snuck a look at them over her shoulder while Doyle and O’Chunks bickered about what would be best for dinner. However the Count had been feeling earlier, he was clearly exhausted now, staring rigidly ahead. O’Chunks was nervously raising his arm behind the Count every now and then, trying to herd him forward just a little faster. Doyle noticed and tilted his head. Nastasia bristled. Her fingers ached to reach for her glasses, but the other two were facing her too. O’Chunks wouldn’t approve anyhow. She returned her attention to the dark trees ahead. Overhead, an owl called.

“How powerful is the Count?” Doyle eventually asked.

“We, uh, don’t actually know,” O’Chunks replied. Nastasia imagined him rubbing the back of his head.

“He looks, almost, arcane-based,” Doyle mused. “Never seen it before, in all my years.”

O’Chunks grunted.

“It’s been a lot of years,” Doyle clarified. “I’m one of the Ancients. I’m really powerful, too, you know.”

“Issat so.”

“Have you ever taken a caster’s test? It can tell you how much damage output you’ve got.” There was no reply; Nastasia assumed he had again addressed the Count. “I scored the highest in my class. But I bet yours is even higher.”

O’Chunks would be out of his depth on this topic. Nastasia had no idea how to respond, either. She doubted the Count would have known what Doyle was talking about, if he was awake. She had figured he was one of the Ancients. His eyes gave him away. She idly watched a deer hop away into the night, farther than her eyes could pierce the darkness. Doyle kept rambling about his test scores- the subtle threat wasn’t lost on either of them. She could only hope he was intimidated by their mistrust. It was easy to regret travelers’ customs, but if she’d been lost alone on a mountain she would have wanted anyone to walk with her too. It was too important to keep those rules across all the worlds. She instead found herself wondering if the Count had ever been on the other side of this situation, back when he was alone. There wasn’t really a way to find out, now.

“So what exactly are you?” Doyle finally asked. She heard O’Chunks jolt. She hadn’t been keeping track of his lecture either.

“Human,” O’Chunks offered dubiously.

“No, I mean, the Count.”

“We don’t know,” Nastasia said.

“You really don’t know anything about this guy, do you?” Doyle scoffed. “Why doesn’t he just tell you?”

“It’s ‘is business, not ours,” O’Chunks’ voice came in lower and quieter.

“Why don’t you just tell them all this stuff they need to know?” Doyle asked, oblivious to the warning, or ignoring it. But it was all the same to the Count. Just noise. Doyle muttered something under his breath.

“Nassy, we need to stop fer the night,” O’Chunks said, a few minutes later. “Th’Count cannae keep walkin’.”

“Alright, then we can set up camp for now,” she agreed. “Doyle. Can I delegate starting a fire to you?”

“Sure thing,” Doyle cracked his knuckles, preening.

She hoped giving him something to show off with would keep him quiet for the time being. At least while they took care of the tent and dinner. The only sounds she had to worry about were the owls and whatever small creatures hustled through the underbrush. Having a light source besides the Count’s eyes brought O’Chunks some relief. They coaxed the Count into eating while Doyle watched, panther-like, eyes glinting in the firelight. That couldn’t be helped. He could at least maintain the illusion of self-sufficiency when reminded repeatedly to eat. And appearances were their first line of defense.

Already, though, she knew the appearance wasn’t good enough. Doyle could see the way the Count hobbled along, the careful way she and O’Chunks moved around him, practically carrying him. Vulnerable. Her only consolation was that they didn’t have much worth stealing. She was only worried about the maps and the Count’s possessions. Doyle wouldn’t get too far, rifling through their bags, but the Count’s wand was easy to quickly grab and escape with.

“I’ll take first watch,” O’Chunks announced as he took the bowls to rinse.

When Nastasia took hold of the Count’s hand to help him up and lead him to the tent, Doyle opened his mouth. She cut him off. “Yeah, so, the longer you keep us up, the longer it will be in the morning before we can get moving again. ‘K?” He closed his mouth and narrowed his eyes, but let the two of them go.

-

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[skeletorific]

Toxic Relationship Headcanons

Its time for aaaaaaangst

So I was spitballing this with @with-a-whisper a few days back and decided on a whim to publish them. Essentially I’ve decided to break down how a relationship with each of teh bros could end up being potentially toxic and harmful to both parties, as well as the steps that might be needed to help rebuild. Because we can’t always be happy damn it

Also please note, guys, if the relationships you are in have these qualities it may be time to have a serious talk with the other person. And while I believe that a lot of relationships can genuinely be salvaged if both partners are willing to put in the effort, if your partner is unwilling or nothing is changing you may need to get out.

UT!Sans: He definitely needs someone a little more comfortable with themselves and who's able to draw any kind of vulnerability or honesty out of him. Bonus points if they're particularly good at telling when he's faking being okay. So to prevent a break his partner would need to understand that even when he pushes it away he genuinely kind of wants someone to force him to articulate how he's actually feeling. In order for it to start devolving, his partner would either have to stop trying to reach out or make themselves the center of every emotional crisis. Either option is ignoring his feelings or assuming he doesn't have any. When he beings to feel like his emotions are unwelcome or unimportant he will more than happily begin to shut down, because after all, its easier than confronting the hot mess he is most of the time. His smiles are all faked these days and he will rarely, if ever be open with you

Patch: You need to listen  to him. This is harder than it sounds, getting Sans to be honest emotionally when he’s felt like he can’t be is like pulling teeth. ITs a slow process of rebuilding trust, of asking him questions about how he is every day no mattter how much he evades the question. If he feels like you really mean it, he can eventually warm back up to you

UT!Papyrus needs someone who won't overly-indulge him and provide some grounding but who is also quite generous with praise, especially for things that he desperately wants/needs to be praised for. He believes you entirely, but that has to go both ways at some point. Papyrus wants your validation, he wants to know that he’s important to you. This can be a little needy, and it only gets worse if he senses he’s starting to annoy you. It enourages him to ramp up his antics adn constantly strive for your approval, whih only annoys you further. If this keeps going he will be constanty on edge and in deep denial. He’ll insist that of ourse he’s happy but he’s so disappointed, trying to greet you with a smile but you never return it. He won’t break up with you, he’s convince that it has to be his fault somehow, and so he stays on. Feeling like more and more of a burden as time goes by

Patch: In order to patch up a break a good method is you have to try and match at least half of his compliments to you. He doesn’t honestly need that much, but strong signs of approval send him over the moon. He’s not as sensitive as you might think but he does need to know that deep down you really do enjoy him and his company. As you grow to a healthier place you can then begin to work on his compliment dependence.

UF!Sans needs a balance of someone who will call him out on his shit and someone who he can genuinely have a good time with and not be constantly on edge. On the one hand you need to be able to tell him no, to draw a line when his reckless behavior gets too unsafe. On the other you need a good sense of humor, as well oas a lot of patience for when he does fuck up. He’s good about apologizing, you just have to let him do it on his own terms. If you never reel him in he will trample over you and likely drag you both down with him. Drinking binges, trashing your house, forgetting dates, all that gross stuff. And He will apologize, but if you keep acting like its no big deal....it kind of starts to bug him. Why aren’t you bothered? Do you just not care that much about this relationship? Should he be treating this as casual too? Eventually he stops apologizing and does whatever the fuck he wants until you finally kick him out.On the other end, if you’re constantly snapping at him and he can’t do a thing right for you....in all likelihood he’ll break up with you. At the very least he’ll be on edge and likely tend to be hypercritical of your every move as well. Not so fun when its your fuck ups being pointed out, is it? Both of you get increasingly petty and its just bad to be around.

 Patch: it depends on which end of the spectrum is failing. If you're hitting him too hard to shape up you have to relax a little, let him live (this is also most likely to end the relationship before patching up even begins). If you're not calling him out enough in the end you just kind of need to toughen up and yell at him when he's really being a dick. He'll resist it and roll his eyes but he does take what you say into consideration if he thinks its reasonable.

UF!Papyrus just genuinely needs someone with a backbone. Someone who won’t talke all of his “Master of the Universe” bullshit lying down. Don’t get me wrong, Boss nags because he cares. He genuinely wants you to lead a healthy life. But don’t just coast and let him make all your choices for you, he’ll stop seeing you as a person and more as a puppet that he can move however he wants. So if the time ever comes that he makes a choice for you that genuinely bothers you, he’s going to be furious when you try and defy him. He’ll start punishing you for going against him. Don’t get excited sinners, not the fun kind. He’ll ignore your texts for days or start lecturing you in public. Like, trying to make you cry He tells himself its tough love, and if you ever remove yourself he won’t stalk you or hurt you. but its not good.  

 Patch: His breaks are the hardest to fix because if you've devolved into toxicity you've let him order you around for too long and its a lot of backtracking to where you can finally get him to listen to you again. You need to stand up to him whenever and wherever he's crossed the line, even if you don't want to make a fuss. If you keep it up he can eventually start to take it to heart. He wouldn’t be dating you if deep down he didn’t honestly respect  you

US!Sans (Despite not being an angel) is kind of hard to trigger an unhealthy relationship in because he  is really good at keeping up a bright and happy front but he, like Tale Sans, tends to suffer if his partner constantly needs to be the center of attention. His s/o will never likely be ignored but people with a tendency for drama tend to pull him into their spiral because he wants to help them overcome their problems but they don't seem to want to solve them. In an unhealthy relationship he'll be pulling away, emptying himself out and kind of going through the motions more than ever. 

Patch A patch up would just be focusing some attention on him. He doesn't even need that much, you just need to not need to be the Center of the Universe At All Times. 

 US!Papyrus needs someone who's willing to call him out too, but gently. He hates being ordered around and will just avoid you if he feels like you're trying to control him unnecessarily. However just quick reminders that "hey, that kind of makes me uncomfortable, just a heads up" are usually enough of to set him on the right track. An unhealthy relationship with Stretch is a matter of time. Its a lot of small errors that snowball on itself.  He will constantly be going behind your back to do whatever he wants and will likely be pushing your buttons as far as he can because it feels like its the only way he gets a reaction out of you anymore. He also has a tendency to gaslight his partners when he thinks he can get away with it

Patch: A patch usually involves a pretty intense confrontation that directly takes him to task on his lack of honesty. It'll be unpleasant but its what needs to be done. This, however, is easier said than done, since Stretch is a master at sidestepping conversations he doesn’t want to have. Tie him down if you have to. And if he is genuinely uninterested in changing....you may just have to break it off.

SF!Sans devolves in at least partial toxicity more often than not. Keeping him on the straight and narrow is a complex matter. It requires a lot of patience and a lot of stubbornness because he will take control wherever you let him and it Will Not End Well. That said, once you've made some progress you can usually get him to take the next steps entirely on his own. He has a tendency to be very derisive of his partners and struggle to make them genuinely feel loved This isn’t because he doesn’t feel strongly, but because expressing those kinds of emotions are life-threatening where he comes from and he has no idea how to do it anymore. 

 Patch: There is no single patch that works every single time, but you will have to separate for a while. He will be in a place where he cannot and should not be around you physically, and you may want to avoid calling him for a while. Your absence makes him realize that he still cares about you , not just for what you can do for him, but as a person. Where it goes from there is up to you.

SF!Papyrus: he's pretty easy to track. The worse place he's in a relationship the more his substance abuse kicks up. Alcohol, weed, jacking off, sleeping at all hours of the day, pretty much anything that lets him escape. He starts losing track of his responsibilities even to Sans and you've picked him up out of a puddle of his own piss and vomit more often than you've kissed him good night the past 4 months.  What Rus needs is someone who can give  him the space he needs but still lets him know that they need him. Worse than anything is the idea that he's failing you. This behavior tends to pop up more frequently when you've just been injured or have been having a rough patch of fights because he feels like he's tying you down, and so self-destructively is making himself more incapable of being a good boyfriend in the hopes that maybe you'll leave him 

Patch: Like his brother its usually a somewhat lengthy process but what he needs more than anything is just firm support. Don't be a doormat, keep him away from his substances as best you can and get Black to help with that, but let him know that you're here for him and you always will be. Keep asking him to do little things for you, it makes him feel needed and wanted around. Its a process of months depending on how long he's been spiralling but he's pulled himself out of it before, and with your help, he'll hopefully do it again. 

[bloodthirstymoonstone]

Disclaimer and Rules

(For those on mobile who can’t click links on a page)

Updated: 12 Aug 2019

Simply put, Valter is a terrible person. He is an abusive monster who doesn’t care who or what he hurts in order to get what he wants. He abuses everyone close to him, be it soldiers, civilians, allies, enemies, subordinates, superiors, family, acquaintances, lovers, and even his mount. He is absolutely intoxicated with the feeling of causing death, destruction, and suffering.

I’m not going to tone any of that down. Of course, I don’t condone any of it, but I feel like it would be disrespectful to the source material to try to make him out to be anything less than the monster he was clearly intended to be. I find it kind of disturbing that so many younger fans dismiss his actions and comments just because they drew him kind of pretty in Heroes. In fact, I wanted to take him up in an effort to combat the what I see as woobification of a man who is clearly dangerous and insane.

That’s not to say that things will be 100% serious all the time. I’m fine with RPing crack and will regularly reblog silly memes that catch my fancy, but still. That doesn’t change the fact that the muse himself is a power hungry maniac. You’re not going to be able to change him, make him come to his senses, or fall in love with your character and treat them with any more than the shreds of dignity he’s shown anyone else. Ever. Any interaction with him will be highly antagonistic from the start and will only get worse from there.

The likelihood of delving into serious, potentially triggering topics, such as gore, abuse, rape, and even attempted pedophilia with muses under 18. (I’d draw the line at having him succeed, but he’d certainly try his hardest.)

IF YOU CAN’T HANDLE THAT, PLEASE DO NOT INTERACT WITH THIS BLOG.

( That said, if you’re still interested in this heap of garbage despite all that, please have a look at my Rules! )

IF YOU ARE OR ARE AFFILIATED WITH THE USERS RUSHIFAAS, DIVINEBETRAYED, HALCYONFOUGHT, SOULSBETRAYED, OR LOYALBETRAYED, I will block (or softblock) you on sight. I usually don’t like to involve friends of others I have petty beefs with, but this is anything but petty – it’s for my own safety. If you’re confused about this reasoning, please read out the very extensive callout I made concerning them.

Valter is a complete piece of shit. Any beliefs or actions are his own and not endorsed by the mun.

Most RPs are likely to take place in the FE Heroes universe, so Fire Emblem characters from any of the games are welcome to interact.

This includes Fire Emblem characters not yet released in Heroes. You never know if it could happen!

God-modding is an absolute no-no. Let my character react to your actions himself, without being controlled. Yes, even if your character is psychic or omniscient/omnipotent.

Post length requirements don’t exist for me. Go with the flow, as long as you give me something to work with.

NSFW content is completely fine – I’m 21+ and don’t give a shit. Explicit stuff will be moved to my NSFW side blog.

While Valter feels sexual attraction, he is completely incapable of feeling romantic attraction. Don’t expect him to stay with your muse the second they’ve exhausted their use to him.

Muns must be 18+ before trying to engage in a NSFW RP with the muse

I will try to tag and put anything highly upsetting under read mores, but muns must be okay with topics that include abuse, gore, psychological torment, and even threats of murder or rape appearing on their dash. There’s simply no way around it.

I will ALWAYS ask the mun if it’s okay before going down that route.

I will not reblog the promo of anyone / any group I do not personally know or approve of! I've been burned in the past, lol.

I reserve the right to determine if I want to RP with a muse from a different fandom, an OC, or a kin blog or not.

I might not follow back right away, or at all. I prefer to have a neat dash, and might sometimes unfollow people just so it’s easier on me to keep up with what’s going on. Anyone is welcome to send in memes though!

Non-mutuals are free to interact, as long as you've read my rules and disclaimer!

Valter might make an unwanted sexual advance on any muse, even those that are under 18. Please note that, as the mun, I would never let him succeed at that, with or without the other mun’s permission.

This blog is sometimes NSFW! While minors are allowed to read stuff with a #nsfw tag, please for the sake of legal complications, do not read anything with the tag #18 plus or go to my NSFW blog! Those are STRICTLY for adults!

Don’t lie about your age. If I find out, I will block you. If you like a post with an 18 plus tag or on my NSFW blog and you’re a minor, I will ask you to undo it. If you refuse, ignore me, or do it more than once, I will block you, END OF DISCUSSION.

Any asks that sound supportive of Valter as a character will be deleted. This is not a pro-Valter blog! I literally hate him.

Do not send people I’ve interacted with anonymous asks trying to impersonate Valter or on his behalf. That’s just a dick thing to do, and I can obviously get in a lot of trouble, considering how Valter is.

Any ask that feels “LOL TEH RANDOM XDDD” is getting deleted. Here’s an example. It’s not funny, it’s just annoying.

Any blog, including personals, are welcome to follow me. I will block anyone I think could be a porn bot, though. That’s just creepy. However, only RP blogs can interact!

Depending on my work schedule, activity might be spotty. Please be patient with me!

I also frequently drop threads, sometimes without warning! Please do not follow if you're not comfortable with this. Although I will usually try to inform partners ahead of time before I drop, sometimes threads get lost and/or forgotten. Please feel free to ask about what happened to a thread if it's been more than a month, but if I say it's been dropped, please accept and respect my decision without making me feel guilty for it. We can always try again!

[mayphoenix]

For the record...

...I feel I need to justify my stance on something new that is making the rounds in Johnlock fandom: John as a perpetrator of domestic violence against Sherlock on a regular basis.  

A photo of Benedict -- I’m assuming from another role -- with his face looking like raw meat following a severe beating, has inspired some fans to speculate that John did that to Sherlock.  Some have even said that Sherlock hides Rosie to protect her when John goes into one of his tirades and that things like the anniversary of Mary’s death are enough to set him off into beating Sherlock the way he did in TLD.  While I tend to ignore most of fandom’s theories when they don’t agree with my own headcanon (because, really, to each his own), domestic abuse is one of my big triggers and the reason I have PTSD, so it’s kind of hard to just scroll past this one without making a comment.  I even remarked that I didn’t want to see this “shit” anymore, that John and Sherlock are supposed to love each other (even if we don’t get a gay relationship out of it, they are without a doubt devoted to one another and do love one another, to the point where they are each willing to take dangerous risks to protect each other).   But it still bothers me that some people are taking John’s outburst in TLD and running with it in this very dark, terrible direction.  They are turning this good man into a monster and hate him for attacking Sherlock.  Few are willing to take a step back and really look at the reasons behind it, especially in the context of the character as presented to us for seven years.  Yes, John is a soldier and he does have an addiction to danger, and he could break all your bones while naming them.  The only times we have seen him attack Sherlock physically, it was after extreme provocation.  In ASiB, Sherlock tells John to hit him and John refuses until Sherlock hits him first.  In TEH, John leaps at Sherlock for joking around after coming back from the dead (all things considered, I know I would be pissed if my best friend faked his death and then came back with no concern for my grief but instead cracked jokes about my appearance).   In TLD, John has a lot weighing on him by the time he snaps and begins attacking Sherlock.  First, he didn’t just blithely go after Sherlock -- he saw Sherlock acting irrationally and holding a deadly weapon.  It started as a means of disarming him and trying to snap Sherlock out of his frenzied state, and quickly escalated because of all the personal things built up behind it: John’s anger at Sherlock for using (again) and putting his life at risk (according to Molly, who just got done saying Sherlock is going to die at this rate).  This is John reacting to the fear of watching Sherlock die once again (the first time being his “death” from jumping off St. Bart’s, the second being after he was shot by Mary quickly followed by going into cardiac arrest at Baker Street), and then seeing the list of drugs Sherlock took on the jet (TAB).  It is ACD canon that Watson has never approved of Holmes’ drug use, and BBC’s John Watson is no exception. (Hell, even Molly slapped Sherlock three times for testing positive and upsetting the people who love him with his reckless behavior -- are we going to accuse Molly of being a domestic abuser, too?)  

We know John, by his own admission, finds it difficult to express his emotions; when he began to cry at Sherlock’s grave, he schooled himself quickly even though he was alone with no one (that he knew) to see him fall apart.  He had to fight the tears over Sherlock’s Best Man speech.  He had to fight the emotion when he thought they were going to blow up with that train car under Parliament.  In suppressing his tears, his emotions manifest in anger (shouting, kicking furniture around), and while we’ve seen him -- rightfully -- direct that anger toward actual threats (including anyone who might talk trash about Sherlock in his presence) to protect himself and those he holds dear (kind of like when Sherlock threw a guy out a second-story window after he had already beaten him bloody for harming Mrs. Hudson), we have never seen John just attack without reason.  We have seen him walk away from Sherlock more times than not when Sherlock has become verbally abusive/insulting, rather than argue with him.   Back to TLD:  in addition to his fear-motivated anger at Sherlock for using drugs, John is also carrying a lot of guilt and self-loathing over what happened with Mary. We know he was unhappy in the marriage as far back as HLV but he stayed and struggled to convince himself that they could make it work, even after he told Mary to her face (in TST) that he used to like her.  John considers the texting with “E” to be cheating -- he entertained the thought of an affair and was being sneaky about it, and did not have a chance to come clean before Mary died, which left him without closure.  John has always tried to be a good man but he thinks he is a failure.  He is flawed, yes, but then -- who isn’t?  If he truly was a bad person he would have pursued the affair.  He would have left Mary when she was still pregnant, after finding out she was an assassin who lied to him and shot his best friend.   So he turns on Sherlock for breaking a vow, but it was his anger at himself for constantly wanting to break his own vows.  Misdirected anger.  Also, in sacrificing her life to save Sherlock, Mary gave Sherlock a gift and by taking drugs and putting himself at risk, Sherlock was abusing that gift.  That added to John’s frustration.  Sherlock didn’t kill John’s wife.  He didn’t make her jump in front of that bullet.  John was so blinded with grief, self-loathing, and guilt (especially if he ever had even the slightest feeling of relief that he was free of her without having to be the one to leave) that he could not see that and admit it until later.  He knows Sherlock is not responsible for Mary’s death.  That he volunteers to sit with Sherlock while Sherlock is detoxing says that he still cares about him.  He feels a sense of obligation to him and guilt over what he did by unleashing that rage.  If he didn’t, he wouldn’t still be with him, solving crimes.  John has made a commitment to Sherlock that he has never made to anyone else, not even Mary; he even distanced himself from his sister Harry while she was still drinking heavily (planning to spend Christmas with her when he believed she was off the booze).  And after TLD, things were different between John and Sherlock but in a better way.  Sherlock referred to John as “family.”  There is a new sense of closeness between them throughout TFP (if any of that episode can even be believed), as though they had just traversed that proverbial Dark Night of the Soul and come out stronger on the other side.   When Mycroft is standing there putting John down at Sherrinford during Eurus’ game, John’s face registers pain because he believes he is unworthy of Sherlock after what he did to him.  And yet, Sherlock is prepared to kill himself rather than shoot John.  Sherlock holds no grudges against John for what he did.  He put John through so much hell over the past seven years, playing with his emotions, and he realizes he is just as guilty.  

Now the two of them are healing.  There is no way that John is ever going to go off on Sherlock again to the same extreme as we saw in TLD.  Even when Sherlock ignored John’s “Vatican Cameos” warning, John did not get angry with him.  When Sherlock didn’t come and rescue him right away from the well, John didn’t seem to be put off.  By the end of S4, these men seemed happier and stronger together in their relationship, which is why I refuse to believe that John would become some kind of regular perpetrator of domestic violence.  Oh, they will still bicker.  But beating Sherlock to a pulp?  No.  

Up until S4, everyone believed in the perfect love that is Johnlock.  Why does that have to change, especially when so many of us can see S4 is messed up?  Why is this kind of thing suddenly being accepted, when there is so much in S4 that makes no sense whatsoever; when we’re questioning other actions that are totally OOC and events that don’t line up?  Why can’t fans see it for the unusual circumstance it is and distance themselves from it, and let these boys be happy?  If John didn’t love Sherlock, he would not have cried in front of him, or let Sherlock hold him.  He would not rebuild Baker Street with him, or let him handle his child.  And if Sherlock didn’t love John, he would not continue to want him in his life, or open his heart to him and his daughter.  If theirs was a relationship of regular domestic violence, with John beating up on Sherlock, there is no way either of them -- or their friends -- would allow it to continue.  So why should we, as Johnlock shippers, allow it?  That’s what I don’t understand, and why I feel it has no place in this fandom.  We have enough negativity to deal with from outside forces; why should we let that kind of thing poison something we have always seen as one of the most potentially beautiful relationships in existence?       

[voidfirenate]

Which fall is the hardest?

 Sleep didn’t seem to like him much anymore. Nate thought as he laid on the cheap bed, staring up at his wood ceiling. Body was limp an exhausted by the training while his mind remained restless. Every time he closed his eyes, he could hear them. All of them. The screams, the crying, the pleading. ’We don’t wanna die’ ‘Spare us’ ‘It hurts…  So loud an annoying, he squeezed his eyes closed trying to shut out the voices. 

It was bad enough, he could see them but to here them… He was slowly losing his mind an it was his own fault. The masked man, the reaper, Leera, Oni’s father, Draco…. So many enemies lining on the doorstep, an he was still so weak. The burden of family had never effected him in such a way but then again he’d never had a family like the Order. 

 Cerberus had been a company of mercinaries, not interested in holding hands an getting to know you. If you were a member you were a soldier, whose on goal was to live an die on teh battle field. To fail to fullfill this you were considered either exceptional or a coward. When a member rides out an doesn’t return, no one mourns him because that’s just how it is. 

 Granger would have weeped for him but he was dead now. K’zai would have been sad but would get over it. D’artagnan may have cried before they separated but he wasn’t sure anymore. Despite the fact he came to the house, he just left with an empty promise to return. The fact that should he pass today or tomorrow, an not be missed was something he’d grown accustom to. 

But here… Here he meant something to someone. He was a friend, a comrade, a brother…a son. So  many titles that had always been mere words to him till now an the funny thing. They all meant someting to him. They are his friends an more so his family, their happiness meaning the most to him. It was something he was willing to protect… no matter the cost to himself. 

He needed to be stronger, to be able to stand at their side firmly when they needed him. Power always came at a price unfortunately, but if it was simply a loss of a good nights sleep, he’d be fine. Sighing, he swung his legs off  the bed’s side, hes body suddenly urging him to move. His tanned feet pressed against the cool floor, as he walked over to the window. There was no view, only a Goblet wall to greet him but this helped with showing him his reflection. 

 Swallowing down his nerves as a pair of colorless orbs reflected back upon him. Pulsating black tendrils, wiggled an curled around his eyes making him look other worldly. They were the most striking feature, his hair had changed too. It’d lost its slight gold luster replaced by a dull gray, but it was less noticable. Staring at his image, his hand lightly touched the corners a little facinated as well as scared of what it was doing to him.

He’d done well so far in hiding it. Only person he’d shown was Rose, an hopefully she stayed silent. Destiney was the next one to inquire, but he didn’t want her to see him like this an worry. She was having a tough enough time as it was with Leera, an memories of Leon who’d Nate only recently had the pleasure of meeting. Another secret he held from her, as the ghost wished for his presense remain between them.

 Annowre had been approving of his mask, an Nate couldnt help but think it was just because she had a taste for mysterious looking men. Having finally met her boyfriend, Frost, he could see why that’d make sense. The others, he hadnt seen much of recently an he wasnt sure if he should be relieved by that or not. 

 Aware he cant hide it forever, but maybe he cant till at least things arent so intense. As he closed his eyes, groaning inwardly at the thought of trying to explain himself. He was surprised when someone grabbed him from behind. Nate tensed, ready to fight off the attacker but when he was spun around the room was empty. Blinking confused, he stepped forward cautiously head paning left to right. “What in the hells….” 

 He inhaled deeply, letting the tension out of his body. The lack of sleep must be getting to him, was the only explination he had as he crawled back onto the bed. Laying down on his side, he stiffened as he felt a hand grip his shoulder. Freezing as he could feel someone hovering over his ears, the light puffs of air as they spoke tickling his hair. ”Do you hear us? The whispers of the dead? If you hear us, then pray not ignore us. For if you ignore us, we’ll grow louder an louder till we consume you, then you. Will be just a whisper we ignore.” 

 Nate jerked up as the hand released him, panting as his heart slammed against his chest. Cackling of laughter, echoed off the walls as he stared out into an empty room again….

[iamthewanderingbard]

From Finner

Everypony has someone who influences them, changes their lives. For Lyric, that someone was Finner, an old stallion who lived by the sea.

This story was greatly inspired by the song From Finner by Of Monsters and Men.

Many thanks to these wonderful people for helping to turn this story into the best that it could be: KellyTheDrawingUni, Protopony350, Kirito-Persona, MelancholyIguana, Will-Owl-the-Wisp, and Haycart.

You may also find this story on my FIMFiction and DeviantArt accounts.

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Finner’s Tale

The sea birds flew overhead, their calls mournful. The waves washed onto the shore with a sigh. When a few moments had passed, Lyric quietly said, “I’d love to.” She had a sense that, whatever story it was that Finner was about to relay, it was one he needed to tell. Finner motioned towards the lute that Lyric carried. “Why don’t yeh take that out?” Lyric hurried to comply. Slinging it off of her back, she removed the oilcloth and held her lute at the ready. Although night was falling, she knew the instrument like the back of her hoof. Even in the scarce light, she would be able to play. Finner lifted his eyes to the moon. It was a while before he spoke again. When he did, his voice was low, sonorous. “Any sailor worth their salt knows that the waters an’ the moon have a special connection. As the moon rises an’ falls in its nightly journey 'cross the sky, the waters follow it. This is why we have tides. But it weren’t always so.” Lyric strummed the strings of her lute, a mysterious tone rising into the air. Finner closed his eyes. “A long, long time ago, there lived two alicorn siblings. Ravi, the brother, was the caretaker of the sun, raisin’ it in the mornin’ and lowerin’ it in the evenin’, while Chandra, the sister, was the caretaker of the moon, raisin’ it in the evenin’ and lowerin’ it in the mornin’. 'Cause of their abilities, they were beloved by ponies all over.” Now an elegant melody floated into the night, one befitting the majestic alicorns. Finner’s eyes seemed to focus on something far away. “Elsewhere, in a little village by the sea, there was a unicorn named Ocean Blue. Now, Blue’d seen Chandra in passin’ a few times before, an’ he was captivated by her. But he didn’t have the courage teh talk teh her, thinkin’ that he was a lowly creature compared teh her.” The song Lyric played changed from one of elegance to one of quiet despair. Finner swayed to the music. Whether he did it knowingly or unknowingly, Lyric could not tell. “Blue’s specialty was water magic. He could find water, or even purify it if it was unclean. So one night, just as the moon was risin’, Blue was struck with an idea. “He travelled down teh the beach an’, with a spell of his own makin’, enchanted the water along the shore teh follow the moon. Course, Blue weren’t powerful enough teh make this last long, so he went teh the beach night after night, enchantin’ the water there so that it’d trail along in the moon’s wake. An’ night after night, Chandra took notice.” Finner opened his eyes and pointed towards the shore, as if the phantom of Blue would appear, brought back to life after so many eons had passed. “On one particular night, as Blue was about teh leave the beach, he found Chandra standin’ by, watchin’ him.” The notes that Lyric played next were light but wondrous, perfect for a first meeting. “Well, Blue was in quite a shock. Even moreso when Chandra spoke teh him.” Then, his voice taking on an uncharacteristic refinement, Finner said, “‘So, I have found you at last.’” His voice returned to normal as he continued with, “Blue was dumbstruck. That was when Chandra spoke teh him again. ‘Who are you that causes the waters to follow the moon? And why have you made it so?’” A slow, lilting tune rose from the lute, one that Lyric felt matched what Blue must have been feeling so long ago. “In response to her questions, Blue bowed his head low an’ said, ‘My name is Ocean Blue, dear lady, and I hope you can forgive me, for I meant no harm.’ “Chandra was puzzled, but also intrigued. ‘And you have caused none,’ she told him, ‘so there is nothing to forgive. But what is the purpose of this magic?’” “Blue hesitated,” and Finner did the same, “but he raised his head teh meet her gaze. ‘I did it because I wanted to speak with you, but I did not know how.’” Finner gave the smallest of chuckles. “Now, Chandra was fully perplexed by this. She didn’t see herself the way Blue an’ everypony else seemed teh see her, as somepony teh be revered. So she told Blue, ‘A simple hello would have sufficed.’ “Well, Blue felt pretty foolish after that. He was about teh excuse himself when Chandra asked him, ‘Could you show me more of this magic?’ It took Blue a second, but once he understood what she wanted, he was happy teh oblige.” As he said this, Finner’s hoof swept across the sky, towards the moon. “From then on, Chandra and Blue started spendin’ more time tehgether. They formed a friendship, an’, over time, that friendship turned inteh love. A sweet melody sounded from Lyric’s lute, but it became more dour as Finner said, “Now, Ravi’d seen all this, an’ he didn’t quite approve. But whenever he tried teh tell his sister as much, she rebuffed him. Who she loved weren’t any of his concern, she’d say. Seein’ that he wouldn’t be able teh change his sister’s mind, he eventually let the matter drop. So when Chandra came teh him with news of hers an’ Blue’s engagement, he just put a wing around her an’ said, ‘Enjoy this while you can.’ “Chandra, payin’ this no mind, was elated, an’ she raced off teh be with Blue.” A light, joyful air rose into the night. “Shortly after that, she an’ Blue were married. The two were very happy, an’ after a while, they were blessed with two daughters, both of ‘em alicorns, teh their pleasant surprise.” Here, Finner interrupted his tale, turning to Lyric for the first time since he had begun. “Any guesses as teh who they were?” Lyric pondered this, her muzzle furrowing once more, but she soon had the answer. A hint of marvel spread across her countenance. “Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.” “That’s right.” Finner stared out to sea again. “The four of 'em had many happy years tehgether, spendin’ time as a family. But, sadly, it didn’t last.” Finner glanced to Lady’s stone. “Alicorns, as far as we can tell, are immortal. But Blue, bein’ a unicorn, was not. His family watched him age as the years went by. An’ then, as all us mortal folk do, he passed away.” Lyric’s heart ached for Blue, and for those he had left behind. She played a somber tune. “Chandra an’ their daughters buried Blue by the seaside, where the two’d first met. Their sad task done, they stood tehgether as Chandra began teh sing.” At this, Finner’s voice fell silent. Lyric stilled her lute’s strings. Once she had, Finner hummed. His humming started low, resounding into the night. He tapped his hooves on the ground to keep time. When he sang, his voice was clear, strong. Sleep now, dear one Here beside the sea Sleep now and forever Your spirit is set free Free to dance upon the gale And to skip on each wave You will never end your tale Alone in your grave For the waters are your spirit The birds’ cries are your song And the moon will always guide you In your journey on So sleep now, dear one Here beside the sea Sleep now and forever Your spirit is set free The song faded, carried away by the salty ocean wind. Lyric sat, unmoving, the last notes still resonating within her. There was a new rasp to Finner’s voice when he spoke again. “In a final tribute teh Blue, the three alicorns combined their magic. With a spell much like the one that Blue’d used, Chandra an’ her daughters enchanted the world’s waters so that they’d always follow after the moon.” Now Finner gave a snort as he told Lyric, “It’s also said that their tears’re what turned the oceans salty, but between you an’ me, I think that’s poetic nonsense.” Finner quieted once more. He lifted his head. “It weren’t long after that when chaos broke out in Equestria. Course, everypony who was willin’ an’ able, includin’ most of the alicorns, went teh lend their aid. Chandra was torn, though. She wanted teh help, an’ she couldn’t bear teh let others suffer, but she had two daughters teh take care of. Knowin’ this, her daughters made the difficult decision teh give their mother their blessings. After a tearful goodbye, Chandra left teh join the cause.” Finner shook his head, his voice heavy. “None of us regular pony folk really know what happened teh Chandra after that. Some say she fell in battle 'gainst the beasts that rampaged 'cross Equestria before her daughters took up their crowns. Others say she’s still out there, somewhere, watchin’ over us. But I like teh think that, wherever she is, she an’ Blue are tehgether again, somehow.” The moon shone down on the two companions. Now it was Lyric who gazed upon it, and she was filled with a new sense of awe. Yet she hadn’t looked upon it long when Finner began to cough. Alarmed, Lyric reached for him, but he waved her away. It was not much later that his coughing subsided. Catching his breath, he spoke. “Promise me somethin’, Lyric.” He turned, staring into her eyes, his voice full of conviction. “Promise me that, no matter what happens teh yeh, yeh’ll keep yehr head held high.” He turned away, his words softening. “‘Cause if yeh can do that, I know yeh’ll be able teh get through anythin’ life throws at yeh.” In that moment, Lyric could see just how careworn Finner really was, how deep the wrinkles around his eyes were, how fragile he appeared. He seemed so different than the old but spry stallion she had first met in the tavern. Here, under the moonlight, he merely seemed old. Was this the real Finner? Or was it the one she had seen in town, in the tavern? Lyric wrapped her forelegs around Finner, holding him as tight as she dared. He mindlessly patted her hoof. A few tears escaped from her eyes as she whispered, “I promise, Finner. I promise.” Nodding once, Finner watched as the moon’s reflection danced and sparkled in the waves. The two stayed as they were, saying nothing, well into the night.

[wizardsgirl25]

Religion at Work

Oncoming Rant Is Free To Ignore Have A Nice Day/Night

So four different people at work today tried to get me to come to their churches. Four different people to four different churches. And every time I said no they'd be like "But you'd like the (Insert religion) church!" And I'm just like "I never said I wouldn't. Just that I don't want to go."

"You're an atheist, aren't you?"

"No"

“Agnostic?”

“No.” “What religion are you then?”

“Polytheistic Chaos Theorist.”

“What?”

And then I would explain. I believe that all G/god(s) exist. I also believe that, outside of personal or prophetic gain, they have absolutely no shits to give about us. Every choice we make has a result, whether immediate or otherwise. There are paths we would never had walked on if not for a choice made by us or others in our lives, just as there are paths we would ALWAYS have walked on, no matter what. God or gods or both or neither, believing in them or not is a choice we all make. Whether that excludes any of us from their actions doesn’t matter either, because we’re mortal and not meant to contemplate them anyways. Mortals and Higher Beings do not mix, and the attempts most religions make in “Understanding” the G/god(s) is both baffling and vexing and terrifying for me.

You Do Not Control Them

They are Higher Beings, and Their Choices, Their Beliefs, Their Wants and Desires and Mandates, they just aren’t for us to decide.

“But the Bible says-!” Fuck the Bible. I HATE that line and the constant debate about it. It is literally a book WRITTEN BY MAN. It is no Word of God, because MAN MADE IT. MAN WROTE IT. MAN EDITED IT. Do NOT try and base you religious and moral High ground on a glorified Fables Book.

“That’s not true!” Most people say, and sure it isn’t. Sure.

But take this into consideration:

In 1631, King Charles I and Archbishop George Abbot ordered the burning/destruction of over a thousand “Wicked” Bibles. Not that they actually WERE Wicked, but they ordered them burnt because his OWN ROYAL PRINTERS had fucked up THE TEN COMMANDMENTS and put “Thou Shalt Commit Adultery” instead if “Thou Shalt NOT” in their Reprint of the King James Bible. A TYPO in the TEN COMMANDMENTS. What ELSE was changed or thrown away or decided too “Sinful” that was explained away by whichever King or Church decided to rename/rewrite the Bible?

The Bible is a TRANSLATED WORK. And EVERYONE knows that Translations almost NEVER come out right. There’s usually a misuse of grammar or sentence structure, or the translator doesn’t know WHICH version of whatever word is being used so they Pick Which On SEEMS best.

There is a single quote that is often used that I’ll use now as example.

“Thou Shalt Not Suffer A Witch To Live” (’A Witch’ has also been seen as ‘a sorceress’, ‘a seductress’, ‘a/the devil’, and a few other variations, all of which usually pertain toe Woman Who Does Something You Don’t Like/Agree With And So Should Die. -_-)

Now, many of you will probably recognize this due to some for of fiction using it in reference to someone using magic. Well, here’s a bit of fact: the original, non-translated version of the Bible didn’t say Witch. King James himself, (Who wrote the King James version) was extremely afraid of witches and pagans, and CHANGED the original text to serve his own purposes.The original line was “Thou shalt not suffer a poisoner to live.” Which means murderer. Thou Shalt Not Suffer A Murderer To Live.

In the original Hebrew manuscript, the author used the word m’khashepah to describe the person who should be killed. The word means: a woman who uses spoken spells to harm others – e.g. causing their death or loss of property. Clearly “evil sorceress” or “woman who does evil magic” would be the most accurate phrases in today’s English usage for this verse.

(Because according to the Bible (Almost All versions of it, Even!) Women are the Root of All Evil. Curse you vagina, how dare you not be a penis and therefore holy! -_-)

Don’t even get me STARTED on the various studies and multiple translations that happened BEFORE we managed to get one in English and sum up Murder as Woman.

Also, don’t get me started in that stupid as fuck “Adam and Eve, Not Adam and Steve!” Bullshit, b/c I will point out it was technically Adam and Lilith first, and that the Bible also says anyone under 7 is exempt of Judgement and all Liars go to Hell. It also says that wearing two different kinds of plant fibers is sinful (Sorry clothes, you’re evil, to the Nudist colony, away~!), that eating certain kinds of meat on certain days or at all is sinful, that it’s perfectly okay (According to the bible) To have more than one wife and that you can beat them to death and it’s legal. It’s also perfectly fine to murder people in cold blood as long as you can say that they were the devil or were trying to coax you to the devil.

Oh, and let’s not forget the Crusades, while we’re at it!

“I will slaughter hundreds of thousands civillian men, women, and children, rape whatever I want, steal whatever I want, Do whatever I want, because I am here in the name of God, huzzah!” Yeah, that was a thing.

“But most of that is based around Christian/Catholic religions! I’m not that!” Do you put more faith in the words on paper than in your own mind or even bother to wonder exactly what has been changed in that book?

Yes, most of this pertains to only a specific edge of Religion, and that’s because they are all teh Pushiest mother fuckers I have EVER had to deal with. I have seen and met Good Christians and Good Catholics but HEAVEN AND HELL FORBID you do something they don’t like.

My grandmother, for example, is Catholic. She was Excommunicated from the Church for getting a Divorce because her husband beat her unconscious and broke several bones, IN FRONT OF THEIR THREE YOUNG CHILDREN and she is no longer welcomed in the Catholic Church. Yet, she STILL Clings to her bible and her prayers and I just look at her and can’t stop my disbelief because, I don’t care that she believes in God, good for her, but that she still believes in The Catholic Church after being so wronged.

I have seen the Protesters who declare God Hates a certain kind of people for something, and then turn around and say “Stop the Hate! God loves ALL of us! Love Thy Neighbor!” because someone does something towards a church or someone they approve of.

I just.

I am overly cynical and jaded when it comes to conformed Religion, I suppose.

I Believe in the Higher Beings, and I believe that I don’t want to do a Damn Thing to gain Their Attention. No Churches, no Bibles, no Rituals or Prayers. I will live my life following the tumble of my choices, and every parrallel universe where I exist, I hope the other Me’s are doing the same thing.

Pray and Worship however you like, just, pleas STOP trying to get me to join you. Chaos is unfettered for a reason, and Organized Religion just pisses me off now a-days.

Sorry for the rant, but also not sorry.

(Also, Work is for Professionalism, NOT Religion, unless Religion IS YOUR WORK, please stop trying to convert people on the clock)

[movedyourchair505]

Napule Nights - quarantadue

Sorry for the wait being a little longer this time, but thanks to Elana and Ela for helping me loads with this! Big shit is coming x

- chapter navigation -

x

The following day, Jade entered the headquarters with Alexander, then less than an hour later left him with a few advisors in a meeting, exiting the very same door with Kane, his arm linked with hers, his face freshly tanned and excited about the prospect of taking Jade out as well as the fact that their outfits unintentionally matched, her tight dress as silky and shiny as the shirt he wore underneath his pinstriped suit, had left its buttons mostly undone to show off as much of his chest and heavy jewelry.

He was charming on the ride there, complimented her dress and her hair, talked about the new pieces of jewelry he'd gotten, showed her a ring Alexander had given him ages ago, and it was only when they were sat secluded on the terrasse of his favourite café, waiters busied with their order, security out of reach, that he leaned forward towards her and the wrinkles of excitement were replaced by an expression that left barely anything to guess about his shift in mood, his brows furrowed, his jaw tense, fingers wrapped around the edge of the table.

“Why'd ya not scratch 'er eyes out then?”

Jade blinked, her back straightening as she looked back him, licking her lips. A few moments passed before she understood that he knew, that someone had told him and she nodded slowly. “Helders stopped me” she stated. “Regrettably.”

The corner of his mouth twitched visibly before his lips broke out into a small smile, yet the look of bitterness in his eyes didn't fully fade. “Reyht.” He leaned back in his seat again. “I joost fookin' 'ate 'er.”

Kane's anger was beginning to fuel her own, despite having talked about everything with Alexander the night before, making sure he was as content with the situation as possible among the circumstances, she found herself thinking back to the smile on Adriana's face when she'd dared to speak to him as if she hadn't made changes to his life that he was still dealing with. “No one should have had or should have that power...” She swallowed. “Over him.”

Miles raised his eyebrows before he started nodding slowly. “Bella, you 'ave tha' power.”

Her eyes darkened. “Well, I wouldn't fucking abuse it like that” she spat, yet felt a strange surge of satisfaction at his words. She meant every word she'd said, but it filled her with pride, a sense of accomplishment, that she'd made a change after all, a change beneficial to the both of them.

“I kno' you like tha', bella” he said, not breaking their eye contact as the waiter set down their drinks on the table and he picked up his, taking a long sip. “And I kno' now tha' you won't take advantage of him.”

“Good” she said, running her fingers through her hair before taking a sip from her own drink. “No need to threaten me again, Kane. I'm on your side.”

He pursed his lips, then the anger made room for a smile to spread on his face, endearing and trustful and he gave her a nod. “Fings can only go up'ill from 'ere. Tonight's deal's gunna make evrehfin' wif Alfonso look like a petty teenage feud.”

Jade raised her eyebrows, setting down her glass. “Tonight's deal?” She asked, tilting her head to the side as she stared back at him inquisitively.

Kane's eyes widened momentarily. “Oh, fookin'ell...” he drawled after a short pause. “I swear tha' boy is gunna...” He sighed, shaking his head, raking his heavily-jeweled fingers through his short hair. “Reyht, dun't want ya finkin' tha' Al dun't trust yeh, alreyht? 's onleh me and Serena tha' kno' and I thought 'e would've told ya, but 'e wanted to protect ya, rehyt...”

“Protect me?” She asked, despite his words, her first initial thought was as predicted that he did indeed not trust her, that there was some huge business deal she did not know about despite having been under the now seemingly naïve impression that he wasn't afraid to share things with her anymore, that he valued her opinion and input, that he allowed her to be a part of what he worked on.

“Al were worried it weren't gunna go through, so 'e bareleh told anybodeh, bareleh aneh of the men tha' are gunna escort 'im there tonight even kno' wha' it is and when you were taken by Alfonso, 'e 'ad to be more careful. But dun't yeh understand this, 's 'ard to figure 'im out sumtimes. 's joost business.”

Jade nodded, then when the waiter returned busied herself with eating, couldn't find it in her to speak more about Adriana, because she was not worth it, could not tell Kane any more about the meeting, because it didn't matter now, as well as Adriana, it was in the past, and what was in the very pressing present was the fact that Alexander had been working on something, a deal so important he had specifically chosen not to tell her, nor anyone, which only showed how much of an important event he'd been directly keeping from her.

She could tell that Kane realised that it were his words that had spiraled her into thoughts that rendered her words rather sparse, but despite his attempts that she knew were probably more than reasonable, they hardly mattered when all she could think about was to confront Alexander and as soon as she set foot in the headquarters, she steered for his office, had already knocked on the door before Helders behind her could stop her.

“A moment” came Alexander's deep drawl from the other side of the heavy door.

Jade crossed her arms in front of her chest, turned her head slightly to look back at Helders who stood expressionless, patient, yet ready to move if she tried to enter, and she knew it was only going to cause more trouble.

After a few moments of silence passing, the door opened, Cook holding it for Serena to pass who gave Jade a nod, more approval than she had ever received from her, but she fought to not let that distract her, to appreciate the shift at a later time when she knew if she even should be seeking approval from her rather than Alexander.

“Jade.”

Alex rose in his chair, nodded for Matthew and Jamie to wait outside, then walked around his desk, closing the buttons at the ends of his suit jacket's sleeves, the matte black suit once again drawing Jade's attention to something she wasn't there to pay attention too, it was as well-fitted as she remembered it from this morning, the rings on his fingers made her head spin with wild imagination, and she resisted the temptation to touch him when she got close enough to do so, pressed her lips together when instead, his hands found their way to her hips so effortlessly to draw her in the way he pleased, yet the softness in his eyes was replaced with a look of concern, alert even when he saw the fire in her eyes.

“Wha' is it, pupa?” He asked, the depth of his voice straining, on edge.

She raised an eyebrow, gave him another moment to realise what she was waiting for, then took a breath and curved her body into his. “What's happening tonight?”

She saw him swallow visibly, his adam's apple stretching over his throat, yet the look in his eyes remained unchanged, locked on hers, firm. “There's a deal.”

Her eyes darkened, her fingers smoothing down his jacket, gentle as opposed to the look in her eyes as she stared back at him, waiting, expectant of more, but nothing came, he was going to make her work for an answer, the authority on his face that she was always aware of now apparent and intense in power she had not observed and really been influenced by in a while, almost as if he was putting her in a position where she would feel her behaviour was unjust, especially towards him, as if he was in the right, as if it was the first time she'd demanded trust, and it almost had her giving in to not allow him the satisfaction, because he was so sure of himself, so sure of his own choices, which had her simultaneously undeniably attracted to him, and absolutely driven furious.

But she'd learned. She was not going to let him get away with something she had long ago figured out. “You didn't tell me” she stated, her face expressionless, unfazed by his indifference, determined to not allow him his usual effortless victory.

“Dun't do this, Jade” he said, giving a slight shake of his head, a hint of annoyance flickering across his face. He was exhausted.

She swallowed, remembered the night before, remembered how frustrated he'd gotten when she had told him she wasn't going to betray him, that he already knew, felt betrayed now that she knew she should've known better, but doubted him nonetheless, while at the same time expecting him not to. “I thought that we-...”

“Yes” he said, cutting her off, a darkness in his eyes that rendered her speechless instantly, his grip tightening on her hips, his gaze hard. “Weh are.” He licked his lips. “I kno' wha' yeh're finkin' now, but I'm not 'avin' tha'. Yehr mind's as sensational as yehr beauteh, Jade. After last night, y'kno' tha' I trust yeh. I've arranged all the securiteh teh take yeh along. Since I've been plannin' it.”

He'd once again managed to make her doubt her own actions, made her doubt her doubts, and gave her a sense she'd so often given him, in the most difficult, yet eye-opening way. “Why didn't you tell me?” She asked quietly, couldn't help herself, needed a straight-forward answer.

“Didn't wanna beh fookin' embarrassed, did I?” He muttered, giving a slight roll of his eyes, yet pulling her closer, her body pressed against his. “Can't risk anehfin' if the deal dun't go through so I didn't fookin' tell anehbodeh.” He sighed. “Jade.”

She breathed shakily, raising her eyebrows expectedly. “Yes?”

“Dun't fookin' do this. Fookin' trust meh, pupa. I kno' wha' I'm doin', I kno' yeh kno' when I'm playin' wif yeh, if I lie teh yeh. D'yeh realleh fink I'd joost try and keep summat like tha' from yeh this way because I dun't trust yeh?”

She pressed her lips together, kept herself from gritting her teeth, her gaze slowly softening and she sighed when she felt his lips meet hers, forced her lips to part for him and her tongue to dance with his, taking the lead to get her to submit, to get her to relax and bring her to her senses, his hands warm against her skin, the scent and taste of smoke mixing with the spice of his cologne and a hint of whisky, she couldn't get enough, now pressing her body up against his, her curves begging to be bent to his will.

He drew away too soon, even his eyes pulling her in when his lips were no longer on hers, had her under his spell that she'd fallen for a million times, found herself submitting to, begging him silently to take care of her. “You're taking me with you?” She asked, instantly switched on to impress him, to be of use. “What do you want me to do?”

He nodded, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, his gaze softening, a look that had her reassured effortlessly. “Yeh're me pretteh accessoreh” he teased, moving his hand to brush her hair back, his gaze wandering down her body slowly before snapping back up to lock her eyes once more. “Yeh're gunna watch 'n learn. 's one of the most important deals I've ever done. And yeh're gunna see, yeh're gunna make them see yeh. Alreyht?”

She nodded understandingly, his instructions fuelling her desire to impress him, eager to please. “Alright.” She attempted to step back, expecting him to send her away instantly so he could work, but he cupped the back of her head, his thumb smoothing down her hair, had her melting into his touch, understanding now that she'd once again made a fool of herself.

“Jade.”

“Alexander?”

He chuckled. “Y'kno' I trust yeh.”

She nodded slowly, licking her lips. “I do.”

He stroked his knuckles gently across her cheek. “There'll beh sumfin' teh celebrate tonight, principessa” he stated. “I promise.”

The look in his eyes had her skin tingling, the assurance almost like a threat, and she knew how success fired him up, fuelled the already irresistible confidence into something that had her attracted to him beyond reason.

Excitement spread through her when she exited the office, felt more sure in herself, fuelled in her confidence she now was once reassured in carrying unapologetically, stopping when she heard Alexander call Helders back.

“A moment, Maffew.”

Alex made sure to wait until Jade had stopped, stood within his sight outside the door before he turned his attention towards his head of security.

“Boss, she 'eaded right for yehr office when weh came in.”

“And sheh can” Alex said, his eyes darkening. “Wha'ever sheh wants goes through meh first. Wha'ever sheh wants, sheh gets.”

-

Clad in a long jumpsuit, tight and fitted perfectly to her body, Jade stepped out of the car behind Alexander, let go of Helders' hand, then turned around and waited. Her hair was done up in a high ponytail, her clothing practical rather than distracting, but Alexander had not taken his hand off her ever since she'd met him in the entrance hall and he'd led her to the car, as soon as he stood beside her once more, his hand found her hip and he pulled her to his side possessively.

The importance of the deal left her surprised at the small number of security with them, besides the two of them, there were only Helders, Cook, and one more member of security stepping up on the small secluded space at the edge of the docks, shielded by the large containers and the darkness that the street lamps didn't manage to drown.

Before long, another long black car arrived, the headlights turning off once again dipping them in a scene lit mainly by the moon, several moments passed before the door in the back opened, two large men in suits that resembled Alexander's henchmen stepping out before they held the door open for a third man, equally as well-dressed in a dark suit, but despite the sunglasses on his face, Jade could only with great strength suppress her initial shock when she recognised what kind of contact they were faced with, had passed his face so many times on campaign posters in the streets, and she swallowed hard when Alexander stepped forward and away from her, Cook and the other security guard unloading several boxes from the trunk of the car.

She was surprised by the small capacity of the deal, that it was all in the one car, that Alexander and his contact were there personally, little security, exchanging a nod of mutual respect and equal acknowledgement, shades drawn, and when Alexander stepped forward and shook his hand, Jade had never been more attracted to him, there was so much confidence, more than ever he was sure of himself, sure that he was untouchable, even out in the open by the water with minimal security, stepping back and scratching the bridge of his nose as he observed Cook placing down the commodity between them.

A simple nod and one of the security men opposite them stepped up to open the top box. “It's all packed properly” he called back to his superior.

Alexander's jaw tensed, his brows furrowing. “Of course it is” he said, his voice calm and collected but Jade could sense the underlying danger, anger coiling beneath the surface. “Who d'yeh fink I am?”

“Mr. Turner, I'm just making sure.”

Jade reacted instantly when she saw Alexander wave her over, reaching into the top pocket of his suit to retrieve his cigarettes, lighting one quickly and placing it between his lips, adjusting his collar as he took the smoke between his fingers and took a deep breath, blowing the smoke slowly up towards the night sky. “Evrehfin's there” he drawled. “No pickin' it up until I've got me moneh. And yehr word tha' yeh're gunna continue teh 'onour our alliance.”

The other man nodded, waving to his other henchman to carry over a suitcase, opening it and letting Helders inspect the contents before he snapped it shut, Helders carrying it to the back of the car at the same time as his counterparts picked the boxes up that stood between the two different parties. “You have my word. Soon you'll be making deals with the new mayor.”

Alex chuckled darkly. “Yeh 'ave me vote.”

Another nod, both his henchmen retreating to the car. “It'll benefit you, Mr. Turner. You run a successful business, within the city and beyond it.”

“Yes, I do.”

“Things can only go uphill for you.”

“And you” Alex stated, looking slowly from him to Jade, following his gaze.

“It's been a pleasure making business with you. And your lovely bird. Never seen anyone so relaxed around you, Turner.”

“Good luck with the election” Alex responded, his arm locking possessively around Jade again, then he guided her to turn around and head back to the car, making sure she got in first before he followed, all tension lifting from his body when they drove out and away from the docks first, the lights of the city much brighter, illuminating his face as they rushed by and Jade watched his features flicker in the darkness, inching closer to him where he sat, his hand on her hip not enough for her as they sat in the backseat.

She fiddled with his chain, her body facing his from the side, the three men sat around them the only thing keeping her from climbing into his lap. She could tell he was satisfied, pleased with himself and how smoothly things had gone, after everything, Kane was right, this success made everything else seem unimportant.

Her heart skipped a beat when he turned his head and locked her eyes, an irresistible half-smirk plastered on his face that had her leaning closer, brushing his hair back, reveling in the way he leaned into her touch, stretching his jaw slightly, his eyes wide. “I'm impressed, baby.”

He chuckled. “Well, 's easeh when people dun't fookin' disrespect meh. Told yeh there'd be summat teh celebrate.” He leaned closer, brushing her hair to the side slowly to press his lip against her ear. “Get down on yehr knees 'n treat meh like the fookin' maestro I am when weh get 'ome and I'll show yeh joost 'ow fookin' impressive I can beh.”