#chapter 4 has. 6 words. 2 of which are Bad Effects. no direct scene ideas listed but ive got a general idea

[orcelito]

The fascinating thing about my limited planning records for writing is that I will go back to something after months of not thinking about it, & I have to try to parse what I meant through the barest hints of notes recording the different themes of the planned chapters

Ft "bad effects" and "bad effects pt 2", which were nearly all of what I have written for chapters 4 and 5 of Summer Nights lmfao

[violettelueur]

— JUJUTSU KAISEN EPISODE NINETEEN || BLACK FLASH

↳ featuring : basically everyone at this point from jujutsu kaisen

↳ warnings : mention of blood + mention of violence + EXTREME grammar issues

↳ form : story

↳ published : 13 april

↳ pronouns : she/her

↳ word count : 4.6k

↳ synopsis : within the jujutsu world, there were three famous clans to be aware of, the Kamo clan, Zenin clan and the Gojo clan. However, unknown to many sorcerers there was one last family that was known to be apart of the three, only for them to disappear after the golden era leading some to speculate that they had died in battle after the sealing of ryomen sukuna, but....

↳ previous episode : sage

↳ next episode : nonstandard

↳ barista’s notes : let me admit, this will probably have terrible grammer issues here and there because i started this at 10:30pm and how it is 4am....ʕ ㅇ ᴥ ㅇʔ but also fun fact, when i was writing the fight scene, i legit had to grab a chopstick and try to reenact the scene i needed to write for in the kitchen ʕ ꆤ ᴥ ꆤʔ BUT moving on from that, thank you so much for being so patient with the series and hope you enjoy this special cup of classic black coffee ʕ•ᴥ•ʔﾉ♡

BEFORE READING, I NEED YOU TO BE AWARE OF THIS:

1. the whole story belongs to Gege Akutami and the credits go to them and them only.

2. the spell curses used belong to Tite Kubo due to them being the ‘Kidos’ being used on the manga and anime ‘Bleach’ - but none is mentioned in this chapter.

2.5. for the ‘cursed spells’/kidos (bleach) i will link this video here and tell you the time stamp to check out what i am intending to show - remember i add a few twist here and there by adding the katana to link with Y/N’s cursed technique : hopefully this video is slightly better...

Destructive Curse Spell Number Sixty Three : Raikoho (6:29-6:44)

Destructive Curse Spell Number One : Sho (4:56-5:04)

3. if you are confused on anything, please don’t hesitate to message me since i know this whole thing is so confusing.

A multitude of running footsteps continuously pounded against the wooden floor below, as everyone was determined to get away from the special-grade curse that was chasing them at this very moment in time, as what followed everyone was a vast wave of wooden branches that was violently destroying the corridor behind them.

“Are you all right, Inumaki-senpai?” Fushiguro asked with concern enveloping his overall tone, as the mentioned upperclassmen seemed to be struggling right now.

“Salmon,” Inumaki replied, in an attempt to reassure his classmate that he was doing and going to be alright, when in fact it looked as if it was the complete opposite currently.

“Here it comes!” Kamo yelled out to warn everyone as he spun around to face his opponent, leading the cursed spirit to launch a few sharp branches towards him as well as you, once you fully turned around to make sure that your classmate from the Kyoto side was going to be safe.

“Stop,” Inumaki commanded leading his curse technique to come to effect as his voice not only echoed through the hallways but forced the curse and its attack to come into a sudden halt, leading Kamo the given opportunity to launch his technique as a rapid long-ranged shot of blood directly attacked towards the curse’s head (which was somewhat covered in burns due to your last technique before everyone started to flee by your command) causing some fragments of it to chip off to which surprised Fushiguro slight as you stood at the top of the stairs just above Inumaki.

“Hurry! He’s just gonna heal right away!” Kamo instructed everyone as he ran up the stairs causing you to give one last look at the curse before rushing up the wooden steps as Kamo has told you. 

From what you could observe, the branches seemed to be the curse’s weakest point since Kamo’s last attack managed to hit its head causing you to come to that conclusion while your curse spell managed to cause some permanent damage to the curse due to the damage that remained after. However, even if you did want to continuously use the same curse technique over and over again, to not only cause the building that everyone was residing in to collapses and burn down but it also put your comrades in danger, something that you ultimately wanted to avoid at all cost.

Hearing a small but noticeable cough, you quickly turned your head back slightly to discover Inumaki’s face glistening with sweat as he took another sip of his medicine leading you to become more concerned about how much longer he could since this plan that suddenly came about wasn’t the most practical of them all, yet...it was the best for now.

Right as you turned back to look forward, you noticed that you were coming to a door leading you to push yourself further as you reached your arm out to slam the door open before jumping over the balcony to the roof that was slightly down below leading the boys to follow after. However, mere seconds later, there was an explosive sound erupting from behind causing you to quickly turn back to find that the curse had already made a wooden pathway with its branches as a way to walk over to everyone.

“Inumaki-senpai will stop it. Don’t worry, just go,” Fushiguro mentioned as he guided Nue towards the curse, leading the shikigami to fly straight towards the opponent with no hesitation.

“No wait!” you shouted, as you reached your whole arm out like you were able to reach the owl-like creature in time. However, the second Fushiguro turned to face you to see what was wrong, the curse’s arm swiftly punctured the shikigami straight through causing Inumaki to collapse to the ground with blood seeping out from his mouth leading you to realise that your upperclassman was at his limit.

On the other hand, before you could even react, you heard someone behind you being thrown causing you to look behind only to discover Kamo’s body being flung to the other side with Fushiguro right behind him to catch his fall leaving you in the middle on the rooftop between your classmate and the curse.

“Are you alive, Kamo-san?” Fushiguro questioned in a panic since he was not only troubled by the fact that one of the students could be in life-critical condition but with you also being in danger due to where you were standing currently and him having no idea why the curse was going after you.

Steadily, your hand slowly moved towards the dark blue metal pole that has been hanging on your belt for some time as you hooked your katana horizontally on your back, so your other hand will be free to freely manoeuvre the weapon of choice that you were choosing to handle the curse.

However, it seemed as if Fushiguro had other ideas as his hands shakily began to hesitantly raise up as if he was going to summon another shikigami into the battlefield. Although, before he was able to completely commit to his plan, there was a sudden pressure laid upon his shoulder catching him by surprise as he turned to look back at Inumaki, who was somewhat struggling to stand.

“Mustard leaf,” Inumaki stated with determination with a hint of tiredness lacing in his tone, leading you to turn your head back to notice him beginning to stagger towards you.

“Inumaki-senpai...That’s enough!” Fushiguro mentioned in a worried tone causing you to grab onto his sleeve once he stood by your side, only for him to present you a small smile once he turned to you - as if to tell you that everything was going to be okay.

“Blast away!” Inumaki suddenly roared leading to curse’s body to instantly flung itself to the other rooftop that was positioned above you just a slight bit before he fell to his knees with blood began to profusely run down his mouth causing you to kneel down by his side as you supported his body with one hand while your other hand gently on his neck to begin the process of reverse cursed energy to ensure that he was going to be stable before someone was able to take him to Shoko - if someone even could at this point.

However, it seemed as if Inumaki’s attempt was futile as the special grade curse sat up with no issue at all leading you to wonder how strong this curse was since it didn’t seem to take any damage whatsoever from Kamo’s and Inumaki’s attempts leaving you to the conclusion that you had to use your curse technique at this point.

“You can’t cut me with that dull blade,” the curse stated before raising its arm to not only block but shatter the weapon Maki was swinging towards it leaving her to look at it with widened eyes before tutting in annoyance leading Fushiguro to jump over you to attack the curse with his weapon once again, only for him to miss slightly as he managed to slice off a piece of the branch that acted as its eyes.

“Now this sword isn’t so bad, but you could just give me the girl as we will call it a day,” the curse commented while healing the tattered branch causing it to grow back, leaving no trace of it ever being cut off by Fushiguro.

Although, it seemed as if Fushiguro and Maki had something else planned as your classmate reached into his shadow that was manifesting below him to replace his sword with another cursed tool before giving it to Maki, who tossed the broken tool she had to the side.

“I have something even better. This one feels disgusting to use, though,” Maki mentioned before quickly unfolding the weapon to reveal a three-sectioned staff before swiftly spinning around to swing the weapon across towards the curse, resulting in the curse to block the attack, only for it to be violently and forcibly pushed forward into the forest.

“Gojo, run towards the edge of the veil and stay there!” Fushiguro yelled out to you before him and Maki sprinted forward towards the direction to where the curse was located, causing you to stare at him in confusion before instantly turning back to check in Kamo was still right behind you to which lead to carefully place Inumaki down on his back as you rush towards the Kyoto student’s side before you proceeded to turn his body to discover that his face was damaged badly causing you to place your hand over his head leading you to heal what you could before transport arrive.

On the other hand, before you could even worry about how you were going to get both Inumaki and Kamo to the end of the veil, you suddenly heard someone calling out your name causing you to peer up to the sky, only to find both Itadori and Todo coming down towards you in a speed that not even Sonic the Hedgehog could even achieve.

“GOJO!” Itadori yelled before powerfully landing right in front of you, leading you swiftly to grab on to the top of the roof to maintain some balance while using your other arm to cling onto Kamo’s body to make sure he didn’t fall as well.

“Itadori!” you replied in relief causing your classmate to smile at you even in the tough situation you were in right now.

“Gojo, Nishimiya is going to get those two out of the veil but according to her, the veil is an anti-Gojo Satoru one,” Todo inform you causing you to look at the first-grade sorcerer with widened eyes before you turned your head to the side to observe the veil that was enveloping all the students right now.

“Anti-Gojo?” you muttered under your breath, before turning your head back towards the muscular student, only to see him smirk confidently at you before Itadori took his hand out as if to help you up.

“Don’t worry about the other two, they will be safe, we all need to head to where the curse is right now!” Itadori mentioned leading you to turn to him as you quickly noticed the amount of cursed energy that was surrounding him right now, causing you to wonder how much he has improved over the past few months he was away.

Placing Kamo gently on his back, you grabbed onto Itadori’s hand causing your friend to pull you up before Todo stretched out his arm behind you, trying to convey for you to sit there so both he could carry you to the destination where you needed to be at this very moment in time.

“Todo...I need you to follow a plan,” you sudden declared, causing him to turn to you with a confused look while you seated yourself on his large arm (which surprisingly managed to keep you still with the help of Itadori, who placed his arm behind your back). “Just promise me you won’t tell anyone about my curse technique at all, not even a single word of it,” you said to him with a threatening tone causing itadori to look at you with a somewhat frightened expression on his face while his friend peered at you with a smile.

“I’m fine with that, but I also need you to help me with one thing,” Todo mentioned as he turned his head to face forward.

“And what would that be?” you asked.

‘Ah...this is going to be a drag…’

                                                ꕥ

"Sprinkled on the bones of the beast! Sharp tower, red crystal, steel ring. Move and become the wind, stop and become the calm. The sound of warring spears fills the empty castle! Destructive Curse Spell number sixty-three: Raikoho!" you chanted, as you placed your hand out like a claw leading to an exciting orb of yellow concentrated cursed energy to manifest itself within your palm, before rapidly striking down towards the targeted special grade curse like a destructive lighting bolt leading Todo to grab Maki within his grasp a second before the cursed spell hit the ground which leads to your opponent being paralysed.

“Keeping to the deal?” Todo asked you with a smile on his face causing you to shift your eye to the side, where he stood before unhooking the metal pool from your belt.

“Yeah, I am,” you answered causing him and Itadori to move to the side for a second - which Itadori was confused about since he didn’t know what show he was in for.

Fushiguro, who was crouching down with a speck of blood trailed down on the corner of his mouth began to argue against the appearance of you and Itadori. However, it seemed as if you weren’t listening to him to or to any of the student behind you at all since you needed to concentrate on both the situation you were in right now but also on the little deal you made with Todo - even though, regardless if you were able to show him the technique or not, you knew that Todo was keeping his word about keeping your technique a secret...that was what you could rely on him as well as his strength.

‘Black Flash huh...now that is a drag…’

“Now that you are here, why don’t you come peacefully?” the curse asked, causing you to mentally sigh as it was causing your concentration to waver, but you really weren’t in the mood to answer.

Stretching out your arm, you held the dark blue metal poll right in front of the curse before letting the weapon extend itself before forming an extremely sharp blade at the top leading the curse to look at it in confusion since it seemed to notice that your katana was missing due to it remembering that it was handing behind your lower back area.

                                                ꕥ 

“This is my gift to you! Think of it as a welcome to the Gojo Clan gift!” Gojo excitedly announced as he presented you a gift box with a bright smile on his face, causing you to look at the gift in surprise since you didn’t expect him to give you anything when you came to his clan estate but also by the fact that the ribbon tied into a bow was the same colour as his eyes.

‘I don’t know if it’s because he is being egotistical or he just like the colour blue’

“Thank you,” you said with much gratitude before taking the box away from his grasp leading him to gleefully chant that you open it in front of him since he was desperate to see your reaction. 

Looking at the box, you couldn’t help but notice a little note saying ‘a gift from a father to a daughter’ leading the corners of your lip to twitch a little since you came to the realisation that it had been a while that someone had ever given you a gift before you processed to tug the tail of the bow before lifting the lip once the ribbon was fully removed.

“A metal...pole?” you said in a confused tone as you tilted your head to the side, before letting your fingertips touch the ice-cold metal as they began to trace the gold detailing that was embroidering the gift.

“No, no dear, it’s a polearm that just needs to be extended with cursed energy! It was made by your ancestor during the Heian era and I’m surprised it managed it stay intact after all that time here in the Gojo Clan since it was a gift from them to us,” Gojo informed you, as he took a sip of the sweetened coffee that you had brought from him before coming to his estate. “I thought that it might be better if it was in your hands from now on, besides it does technically belong to you,” Gojo suggested with a bright smile on his face, once you lifted the weapon out of the box to observe it more.

Turning it around in the light the room provided, you couldn’t help but suddenly notice a small design of what seemed to be a small flower depicting a tsubaki painted in a light pink right in the middle of the metal pole causing you to stare at it in absolute curiosity.

“Thank you so much, Gojo-sensei,” you stated once again in appreciation once you placed it back into the box causing Gojo to pout at you which led you to look at him in complete confusion the second you looked up to face him.

“CALL ME DAD, Y/N!”

                                               ꕥ

“Are you even listening?” the cursed questioned you as if seemed to be getting annoyed at the fact that you were just standing in front of it with no emotion attached to your face, causing the students behind you to look forward since they were beginning to become confused on why you haven’t attacked yet.

Although, it seemed like it didn’t have to wait long since you used your other hand to grab onto the pole before beginning to spin the now extended polearm aggressively leading the curse to now be on its guard since it had no idea what you were planning on now.

‘Black Flash is a distortion in space that occurs when cursed energy is applied with 0.000001 seconds of a physical hit, it can amplify a normal attack’s force by 2.5. It’s such a drag process but since this curse likes to get up close and personal, it seems like the best choice for now’

Suddenly, you quickly grabbed the polearm halting the spinning motion before using the ball of your foot to push yourself swiftly across the lake to appear in front of the curse, catching it by surprise since it seemed like you had just teleported right in front of them, only for you to violently swing your polearm down onto its shoulder leading it to groan in pain causing you to speedily spin around behind it leading the polearm to now swing across before forcibly landing the sharp blade to its side, suddenly causing the formation of a familiar black spark that danced around the area you were in like electricity currents causing Todo (who was observing from the sideline) smile at the scene with confidence, while Itadori looked at the same battle in shock.

However, before Todo could even call you to remove yourself from the battle, you instantly placed your hand above the other in order to rapidly rotate the polearm leading the other end to strike its other shoulder (while the blade was now facing downwards) causing another flash of black to appear once again to which lead the curse to cry out in agony, causing everyone to admire the fight with such astonishment.

“Gojo! Switch!” Todo yelled out, leading your concentration to instantly waver once again which caused you to push the heel of your back foot to quickly retreat to the side where everyone was before the curse could even afflict any attack on you in retaliation on what you had just done to it.

“Told you there is nothing to worry about,” Todo mentioned as he looked down at Fushiguro causing the shikigami user to look at you with his surprise before turning to look at Itadori.

“If you die again, I’ll kill you myself!” Fushiguro declared causing you to look at him with a complete perplexed look on your face since the sentence he just stated didn’t make any sense, leading Panda to extend his arm out to carry his lower classmen to the other side of the veil.

“Pandash!” Panda yelled out before carrying both Fushiguro and Maki to safety.

“Guess I can’t afford to die now,” Itadori muttered before rolling his shoulder to prepare for his turn on the battlefield with determination after witnessing your performance.

“I won’t lift a finger to help, Itadori. Not until you land a Black Flash. If you can’t land a Black Flash, then I’ll just watch you die, no matter what happens to you,” Todo declared with his arms crossed with one of his hands holding on to your katana, leading you to stand up straight with a dumbfounded look on your face after what he had just yelled out before taking your original weapon from his grasp.

‘HUH?! WHAT WAS THE POINT IN MY LITTLE PERFORMANCE THEN?!’

“Got it!” Itadori replied after letting out a breath, causing you to look at your classmate with the same surprised expression, even though his back was facing you right now.

“Don’t you think that is a bit dangerous?” you queried as you turned back to look at the Kyoto student, only for him to give you a serious look on his face as if to say that he believed in Itadori and his threat was just a fluke.

“I guess I can’t stop you then...I already know he’s got this,” you muttered before shrugging your shoulders since you knew there was no way Itadori wanted you to interrupt this lesson.

To be honest, Black Flash was the perfect move for him.

Suddenly, you heard a loud explosion from behind causing you to turn your whole body around to find Itadori punching the ground leading a huge splash of water to arise before noticing two pieces of rock attempting to strike the curse, only for them to be deflected the second it touched its hand.

Once the water dropped down, you witnessed Itadori’s fast reflexes as he managed to dodge the curse’s attack, landing a few kicks towards its stomach before Itadori used his last kick to target its face. However, you could tell then intensity was low meaning he wouldn’t even hit a single Black Flash with an attempt like that, only for the result you had come to happen as he attempted the technique once he landed a punch against the curse’s torso, only for Itadori to force himself back once the curse retaliates by trying to hit him with its branches, only for the effort to be futile.

“My friend,” Todo said causing Itadori to look at him, only to receive a smack across the face leading you to look at the scene with a fed-up expression since the connection on Todo’s hand and Itadori’s cheek was quite loud for a normal slap to sound.

‘What...The...Hell?’

“Anger is an important trigger for sorcerers, sometimes then can be taken down purely because they accidentally angered their foe and the opposite is also true. Sometimes they lose because their own anger disrupts their cursed energy, so they can’t exercise their abilities. Your friend has been wounded, and worse yet, they’ve rained on your honeymoon with me, you best friend, so I can really understand why you’d be boiling with rage,” Todo expressed with understanding, only for you to look at him with an extremely fed-up expression depicted on your face.

‘I don’t think the ‘best friend’ bit is why he is really angry, you drag’

“But that rage is too much for you, put it away for now,” Todo then informed Itadori before slapping his face again leading you to vocally express your confusion about the scene that was happening right in front of you.

“Huh?” you uttered out.

“Are those stray thoughts gone now?” Todo questioned with a small smile plastered on his face.

“Yeah, not a single one left. Thank you so much, best friend!” Itadori replied with a confident smile on your face leading you to tilt your head to the side as you witnessed this scene - if you were going to tell this to Kugisaki, you wouldn’t know if she would believe you or not…

Walking back out into the river, Itadori raised his fist up while peering at the curse with an intense stare only for his opponent to quickly push itself forward leading Itadori to follow as branches began to invade his side. However, it seemed as if Itadori hadn’t noticed them at all since he was directing going straight down the middle, leading his fist to make contact with the curse’s torso causing the manifestation of the black spark that you and Todo were waiting for.

“He did...it,” you muttered in amazement as the curse’s branches suddenly disappeared while its body was forcibly pushed back.

“Now you understand the taste of cursed energy,” Todo mentioned as he proceeded to walk into the shallow river with a proud smile on his face. “Up until now, you’ve just been throwing an ingredient you’ve never tasted before into a pot and boiling it without knowing why. But after experiencing Black Flash and understanding the taste of your ingredient, your cursed energy, you stand on a completely different level as a chef than you did three seconds ago. Congratulations, brother, you can become strong,” Todo then expressed with joy leading your classmate to look at him with a concentrated expression on what he was trying to explain.

‘I guess that is a good way to describe it. To be honest, it is kind of similar to Gojo’s teaching but a tiny bit better…’

“It can heal?!” Itadori asked in shock, as it noticed the growth of the curses’ hand.

“A cursed spirit’s body is made up of cursed energy. Unlike us, they don’t need any advanced reversed cursed technique to heal like how Gojo does. An injury like that is nothing to a special-grade, but there’s no doubt that it shaves away their cursed energy and if you crush their head, it’s game set,” Todo explained before turning to look at you with a 

“Now, shall we get cooking?” Todo asked you and Itadori in an assertive tone, leading you to look at him with a surprised expression before sighing as if you had a choice to not fight anyway.

However, before you could even take a single step into the river, you notice something from the corner of your eye causing you to raise your polearm swiftly seconds before you were now suddenly violently pushed back to extreme lengths away from the battle you were going to involve yourself in causing Itadori to yell out your name in complete panic. Although, there was no point in chasing after you, as you were now concealed within the multitude of trees that were surrounding the area with a hooded intruder, who was now keeping you at more than an arm’s length away from the two students you were supposed to keep an eye on.

“Destructive Curse Spell number one: Sho!” you chanted, leading a small ball of concentrated cursed energy to form in the middle on your polearm leading to the weapon and the person, who was pushing you, to be blasted back leading a distance to be created between you both giving you the space to press your feet down onto the ground to gradually pause your movements as you placed your hand on the ground to give you more support.

“Who are you?” you asked in anger before standing up straight in a defensive position and you aimed the polearm’s blade downwards to the ground, leading the person to raise up what seemed to be a pair of tonfa’s like the ones Fushiguro had earlier during the event, only for them to be metal rather than wood.

“WHO ARE YOU?!” you queried once again, getting irritated at the fact that the person was just giving you the silent treatment which caused them to giggle slightly as your frustration.

“Isn’t that a warm welcome for someone that took care of you so dearly?” the person spoke with a soft tone, causing you to freeze up in shock after realising how familiar that tone was to you to which lead the instructor right in front of you to slowly remove their hood leading their hair to spill out as well as to slowly reveal their face to you under the light the tree could, causing you to let out a breath of shock as your eyes widen at the sight in front of you.

“Mother?”

© violettelueur 2021 : written and published by violettelueur - do not steal or repost

[backtobackbakubabe]

Baby its Cold Outside (PART 9)

Bakugo x Reader 

Have you seen this man

**** Warning**** This chapter has a bit more graphic violence than the others. 

Words : 2810

PART 1 HERE, PART 2 HERE, PART 3 HERE PART 4 HERE PART 5 HERE , PART 6 HERE PART 7 HERE PART 8 HERE PART 9 HERE PART 10 HERE PART 11 HERE PART 12 HERE PART 13 HERE PART 14 HERE

*****************************************************************************************************

You actually got pulled to duty today, so naturally you just had to be feeling under the weather. Any other day of the week you could sit at your desk or hell just lay on one of the many couches in the break room, but nope. Not today. Today you need to go assist in a bank robbery. It was a simple call. They just needed you to pop in and get the hostages out. Piece of cake. From what you understood there was only four hostages and only two villains. Walk in the park.

But because you were already having a bad day it would only make sense if it got worse from there. So you arrive on scene and guess who’s already there? Bakugo. And guess who is yelling like the mad man he is that you don't need to go in there? Again Bakugo. 

“Nope. No. I don’t think so! This feels all too familiar. Nope. Cant do it. Go home. I think I can hear Zuko crying from here. You should probably go check on him. I can take care of this...” He probably didn't even know he was doing a full on Deku rant but you weren’t about to point that out to him right now. 

“Ground Zero... I appreciate your concern but I was called here specifically. I assume because they knew you’d blow up the building. I’ll have them out in five minutes. Now you can either help me or pout. That part is totally up to you.”

He narrowed his eyes at you, probably not appreciating be called Ground Zero. But you were in pubic and trying to be professional. “Okay Adsum..” He threw a little extra sarcasm on your name. “What do you want me to do?” 

You gave him a victorious smile, “I’m glad you asked. I can do this a lot faster if the villains are distracted. So do what you do best. Yell at them, blow things up, get their attention. And once I’ve got them all out you can go Lord Explosion Murder all over the place... Sound good?” 

He ground his teeth, “Yeah whatever just hurry...” 

Before the accident Bakugo wouldn't have bated an eyelash at you doing something like this. Now it was like pulling teeth. 

You ended up pulling everything off flawlessly. Only minor damages but that’s only to be expected when Bakugo’s involved. 

You endured the strobes of flashing cameras as the press yelled praise and questions. But neither you nor Bakugo paid them any attention. In fact you wanted to get as far away as possible. You started to feel light headed and you thought you were going to vomit any second now. Once you were far enough away you bolted towards a trash can and emptied your breakfast. 

Bakugo was at you in an instant holding your hair and rubbing your back, “Oi... you okay? You pushing yourself too hard again? I don’t care how small she is, I’ll fucking fight Dylan.” 

You pulled a tissue out of your pocket and wiped your mouth. “I dont think it’s Dylan. I think I’m just sick. I wasn't feeling too hot before I even came in today. But now that I think of it, We did have a harder day yesterday than we usually do. She had me pushing myself to see how many times I could teleport in under a minute.” You gave him a proud smile, “I got all the way up to 30. Thats once every two seconds.” 

He brushed a few hairs out of your face, “As proud as I am of you, you need to take better care of yourself. I know you say she knows your limits and everything but I still dont think there’s a chance in hell she knows your limits better than you do.” You went to protest but he gave you a pointed look, “Can you please take the rest of the day off? Just go home and get some rest. You clearly need it. ” 

“Ugh, fine... but only if you bring home some ice cream later...”

He laughed, “You and your damn ice cream. Yes I will bring you ice cream. Cookies and cream or chocolate chip cookie dough?” 

You gave him puppy dog eyes, “Both?” 

He smirked, “How could I say no to that. Alright you got yourself a deal. Now get out of here before I throw you over my shoulder and drag you home myself.” 

You wagged your eyebrows, “Oh yeah?” 

He thumped you between the eyes, “Oi! We are at work women! Contain yourself.... you also just threw up...soooo I will give you a professional hand shake goodbye.” 

He held his hand out and you just rolled you eyes. You held your hand out as well but before it met his you popped behind him and smacked his ass. “Report me to HR... I dare you.” And then you popped away in the direction of your apartment before he could scold you. You ended up ditching the costume and packing it away in your backpack. You called a cab because you really were not feeling well. 

You didn't know if the cab driver was staring at you periodically because he recognized you or if he thought you might throw up in his cab. Either way he didn't make any attempts at conversation which you were thankful for. 

You quickly took a half ass shower and brushed your teeth before going straight to bed. You passed out a soon as your head hit the pillow. 

You woke up hours later to the loud ringing of your cell phone. You checked the time before you answered. It’s a little past midnight, Katsuki should have been home by now. 

The caller ID said Kiri and your heart sank. With shaky hands you clicked answer, “He..” You cleared your throat, “Hey Kiri? What’s with the late night phone call? You wouldn't happen to know where Bakugo is would you?”

“That’s actually why I’m calling! I’m on my way to get you. I’ll explain everything when I get there. Just get dressed and get ready to go. Zuko too! Dont answer the door for anyone who isn't me!” 

He hung up before you could ask what was going on. Truly panicking now you jumped out of bed and started digging around for clothes. You were pulling on your shoes while simultaneously trying to locate Zuko’s leash when a loud bang came from the other side of the door. 

“Hey Bitch! Open up the damn door! We know you’re in there! Dont make me break this shit down!” 

Zuko started growling as you looked through the peephole. You gasped, it was the cab driver from earlier. He did recognize you. And he brought a friend. 

“Your little boyfriend aint here to protect you now is he! Not like he was the night he killed my brother! My brothers dead because of you!” 

You had no idea what the mad man was talking about but it was enough to send chills down your spine. You didn't want to risk having to fight them one on one. You still felt too sick for that. You knew Kiri was on the way so you could wait util he got there... *CRACK*

They had started kicking at the door now. “Shit...” 

“We’re going to make you pay for what you did you little bitch!” 

*CRACK*

“Then when we’re done, we’ll take out that that little shit stain Ground Zero!” 

*CRACK*

“Then we’ll track down every girl you saved that night!”

*CRACK*

You ran to the kitchen and took one of Bakugo’s really expensive knives. Surely he’d forgive you for fucking it up. You returned to the door that was only about one hard push from coming off the hinges. You focused really hard as you squeezed the knife in your hand. Then there was a slight pop and the knife was gone. 

“WHAT THE FUCK!” You looked through the peephole again but this time the cab drivers buddy had a knife... Bakugo’s knife, the one you were just holding, lodged in his chest. You did it.... You had teleported the knife through the door.

Before you had a chance to back away from the door, the cab driver threw his shoulder into it, effectively taking it off its hinges and throwing you to the ground. “Fuck!” You tried to scramble to your feet but he caught your ankle. 

You kicked him in the face twice before he let go. You had barley gotten to your feet when Zuko lunged for him. Bakugo spent a lot of time training him... so it didn't surprise you when he went straight for the throat. But watching as your dogs teeth sank into another man’s throat... it was hard to watch. 

The man cried out in alarm but Zuko just dug deeper and growled. You eyes went wide, “Zuko! No! Get back here!” 

Zuko let go and ran back to you. The man’s blood was pooling around him now as his eyes began to droop close. 

You sat down in shock staring at the scene before you. Two dead men. Blood. so much blood. Your breathing was starting to get shallow.

“Holy shit! What happened to don’t open the door for anyone but me?! Y/N! Are you okay?” 

Your eyes slowly met Kirishima's, “Where’s Bakugo?” 

He grabbed your hand and started pulling you out of the apartment and down the hallway. “I’ll tell you in the car... Come on Zuko!” 

You sped off with Kirishima checking his rearview mirror periodically. He didn't ease up until he was almost to the agency you worked at. “Okay so here's the deal. So as you just discovered some quirkless cabdriver found out where you and Bakugo live. He sent a threat along with some pictures of you walking into the building to Bakugo.” 

You gasped but Kirishima wasn't done, “Yeah but what's worse is he also sent it to the league of villains. Told them you were the one who messed up their human trafficking deal and Bakugo was the one who blew up some of their best men. You both have pretty big targets on your back right now. And Bakugo being Bakugo... he....” 

Your hands gripped the leather armrest, “Kiri don’t tell me he went off on his own... KIRISHIMA WHERE IS HE?!” 

He gave you a sad look, “We don’t know. He called me and told me to get you out of the apartment and then hung up... That was an hour ago.” 

Your eyes welled with tears. He’s so stupid. always yelling at you for not waiting for back up and now he thinks he can just show up alone to fight the League of villains of all people! 

“Where are you taking me?”

“Technically I’m supposed to bring you to the agency while we wait this out... but...” 

You leaned forward, “But what?”

“But we’re going to meet up with Deku, Todoroki, and Denki and where going to go get him.” 

“I thought you said you didn't know where he was?”

He gave you a shit eating grin, “I dont. But we happen to know where all the League of Villain hideouts are. All we need now is for you to teleport to each one. Find him and report back. They’re all within a few miles of each other. I know it’s kind of pushing it but Bakugo told me you once teleported 15 miles.” 

You nodded, “By accident sure, but my range has gone up! Its almost to three miles now... He’ll kill you for this you know? He won't want me involved in this at all.”

He rubbed his neck, “Well that's a risk I’m willing to take to get his dumb ass home.” 

Half an hour later you along with the others were huddled around a map with all possible locations circled. Todoroki pointed to a spot almost exactly in the middle if the others, “That’s where we are right now. This spot is about 5 to 10 miles from all possible locations. Y/n. We need you to teleport to each of them until you find them. When you do, do not engage. Teleport back to us. You’ll take me first, then Midoriya, them Kaminari, and lastly Kirishima. Do you understand?”

You nodded, “I’m going to be honest.. I don’t know how efficient Ill be. I’ve only been working on this kind of thing for a month or so. I’ll likely have to teleport two or three times to get to each location. Do you have pictures?” 

He shook his head, “No I apologize we do not. Are you sure you’re up to it?”

You cracked your knuckles, “Which one first?” 

You popped in and out. Running into trees, and ponds, and whatever else was in your way. You had to stop to throw up nice or twice, but you never did it in front of the other heros. They didn't need to see you were sick. You were on to the fourth location when you made a mental note to thank Dylan profusely when this is all over. Without her intense training you don’t know if you could have done any of this.

This stretch only took you two teleports to get there. You were breathing heavy with a sweat soaked shirt when you heard it, the familiar sound of an explosion. “Katsuki?” You were hiding in a couple of trees that surrounded a barn. You teleported to the top of the closest tree and look down. Sure enough there he was. You were itching to go to him. To drag him out by his ear. But you had a job to do. You took one last look at his blonde head. Hoping he would still be here when you got back. 

In one long stretch that made your muscles scream in protest you teleported back to your friends, “I found him now lets go. We need to hurry!” 

Shouto stepped up and you spat a quick, “Hold your breath.” And you were off. You dropped him by the same tree you had just stood under and pointed in Bakugo’s direction, “Hes that way. Just listen for the yelling and the explosions.” 

Without waiting for a response you went back to get Midoriya. When you dropped him off you started to feel dizzy. Not good. You leaned on a tree and gripped your head. Through gritted teach you made it back for Kaminari.

When you came for Kiri you couldn’t help it. You threw up. 

“Shit Y’n are you okay?” 

“Yeah I just have the flue or something. Just give me a minute.” 

A minute turned to twenty and you could still hardly pick your head up. Kiri came and knelt next to you. “Hey they made it out okay. They took him kicking and screaming, but they got out. I just got off the phone with Midoriya. What do you say we get you to a hotel room and get you something to eat huh? My treat. It’s the least I can do after I basically volunteered you for this.” 

You wanted to protest but your stomach gave you away. You hadn't eaten anything since breakfast, and you had thrown that up a long time ago. “Yeah I could really use some food. I’m fucking starving.” 

You called ahead and ordered a room as well as enough food for a small family. Kirishima got the room next to yours and told you to let him know if you needed anything. 

You opened the door and the smell of pizza, chicken nuggets, and mac and cheese hit you. You couldn't decide what you wanted so you had ordered it all. You needed a little comfort food. You deserved this. 

You had devoured the mac and cheese and was about to dig into the pizza when you heard the click of the door.

You grabbed your fork tightly as you stepped over to see who it was. 

“They didn't have cookie dough, so I could only get you cookies and cream.. I hope thats okay..”

You dropped your fork and flung yourself at him, “You’re so fucking stupid you know that! You cant do that to me. I was so scared!” 

He slowly wrapped his arms around you, nuzzling his nose through your hair, “I know. I’m sorry. I just.... I saw red. I couldn't let them get to you. The only thing on my mind was to protect you.  And then Kirishima told me they went to the apartment anyways. SHIT are you okay? I heard you stabbed a guy..?”

You flinched, “Well not exactly. I teleported the knife through the door... Zuko handled the other guy. Speaking of which he needs a bath... He has blood in his fur...”   

He cupped your face in his hands, “Later when were both not emotionally exhausted I’d like to talk about how badass and impressive you are. But nows not the time.” He looked to Zuko who was wagging his tail at his feet, “Thank you for looking out for our girl.” He gave him a quick pat on the head

You pulled away from his embrace and ran to the bathroom and threw up for probably the fifth time today. 

“Damn Y/n I’m sorry. I was the one who asked you to take the day off and then you had to go and work so fucking hard just so you guys could find me. I’m such a dumbass. I’m sorry.” 

You leaned against the tub, “You're not a complete dumbass. You still remembered the ice cream.” 

[plague-of-insomnia]

🍋 🍌

Thank you for the ask 💕!!

🍋 Your descriptions are transportive

Wow... 😶☺️🥰 Thank you.

🍌I want to pick your brain about your creative process.

This will be a long post, FYI.

Chaos.

Haha, I’m joking.

Or am I?

Honestly, I’ve tried a lot of different things over the years, including outlining, and it never works for me bc my characters control the story. I really am just their interpreter, putting their lives and words onto virtual paper.

I’m a “character first” kind of writer (as opposed to a “plot first”), and that means I could probably tell you what any of the main cast of my stories ate for breakfast on the morning of their 8th birthday, but I couldn’t tell you what happens in the end, or sometimes even in the next chapter, bc I don’t know until I “get there.”

I’ve done my best to break my process down into 8 steps.

Step 1: The Idea

When I first get an idea, it usually comes to me in terms of a really vivid scene, like the chapter in Where Demons Hide called “Spark of Madness.” Usually that scene ends up in the beginning of the story but not normally the first chapter. Sometimes it’ll give me some story/plot to help me begin to flesh out the idea more, like in that example, where the main antagonist/conflict is introduced, though normally I have to work at it a bit more.

Step 2: Flesh Things Out

This is where I brainstorm, usually thinking about the main characters, who they are and what their flaws might be and what they might want to help me “find” the story. Sometimes I’ll make a character sheet (normally I don’t if I’m working alone bc I don’t have to). I do normally make a file for notes where I’ll jot down possible ideas about the characters and where the story might go.

I’ll be perfectly honest and say while this process does get me jump started, most of the notes I jot down I don’t end up using bc as the characters and story formulates, they both tend to change from my original ideas.

Step 3: Research

This can often be tied in with #2 and it’s not as if it just stops here. But as I often write about disabilities, mental and chronic illness, I like to make sure I can get as much info about the disease/condition I want to represent as possible so that I can:

represent it appropriately and accurately and

so I can find story/character details along the way.

For example, in my novel UnConventional, I was able to talk with a friend who is not only an orthotic user (and has been for years) but is an engineer of sorts so he understands very well *how* they work. By talking with him about various orthotics and his own struggles with them, I was able to find new plot and character details that help make the story more vivid and real and also allowed me to drive it in directions I may not have been able to otherwise.

Step 4: Write, Write, Write.

Two things you need to know about my writing process:

I usually do better when I write out of order.

I need to visualize the scene in my head to write it effectively. My “writers block” comes from not being able to see things in my head

My method isn’t the most efficient, but it’s how my brain works, and I’ve learned to go with it rather than fight it.

I brainstorm with myself (or a friend or my husband if possible) when necessary, or sometimes I’ll just close my eyes in a quiet place to allow myself to “see” the next series of scenes. Before I can forget the vivid movie I saw in my head, I do what I call a “scene sketch.”

I call it a “sketch,” bc just like a sketch is usually the foundation for a piece of art, mine are the basic structure for a completed scene. I do this also if I have a pretty solid idea but don’t have the time to write or I’m too tired or something like that, bc sketches allow me to simply sit down and flesh them out to create a completed scene.

They’re kind of like what an outline might be for other writers but less organized. Sketches are like a little treatment of a scene, including the basic setting, an idea of POV, and even dialog and body language, but jotted down really quickly without quotes or dialog tags. Sometimes there’ll be things like “maybe this happens” bc once I actually write the scene I’ll know if that idea feels right or not.

Here’s an example from a rejected chapter of WDH (I ended up going in a slightly different direction):

Seb answers when room service knocks. Bard is hovering, maybe bc he heard Seb’s scream. He sees the bad bite on Seb’s bare chest, sees he’s trembling and drowning more than ever, his eyes almost pleading for rescue. But when Bard asks if he’s OK he smiles and says yes, sir. Takes the food from the room service person and says he’s been ordered to wait on the guests personally. Shuts the door in Bard’s face.

Sometimes these sketches can be very detailed, other times it’s more of a general, quick jot of what happens or the scene I want to set. It depends on my brain and the scene.

I like to set goals based on scenes (or sometimes chapters), and do my best to complete a scene in its entirety if possible before I stop. If I can’t bc of time, then I’ll write a really brief sketch so I know what I need to do when I pick back up again so I won’t forget.

I’ve been writing and editing long enough that depending on the project I’m able to self-edit as I write. That doesn’t mean I don’t revise or edit later, but it saves some time overall as I am more aware of certain things than I used to be.

Because I write out of order, my process often entails being a puzzle master and piecing things together. Especially for something like Where Demons Hide, which has a lot of flashbacks, since I write those separately from the main story, I then have to figure out where they “belong.” I’d say 98% of the time for this fic I have already written the flashbacks before the chapter(s) they end up in.

My original serial fiction I write in a similar fashion, where I often will write scenes out of order and then assemble them into chapters later. So sometimes I’ll make a kind of “outline” of plot points that I need to cover. It’s not so much a fixed thing as a memory aid and place for me to put notes of ideas that might come to me that aren’t completely fleshed out.

Step 5: Rest

Once I’ve completed a chapter, I try to let it “rest” for at least a few days, if not longer. Especially if it was a long chapter or something that was difficult to write and took me awhile so I’ve been working on it for days or even weeks at a time.

I do this for three reasons:

“In process” brain lies often and says a scene/chapter sucks and I should just burn my computer/phone and take up accounting instead, and that the pacing is awful and it’s boring and lots of similar untruths.

Especially if the chapter took me a long time to finish because it’s lengthy or complicated or has difficult subject matter or whatever, it means there’s a good chance I’ve been working on it for days or even weeks and I’m SICK TO DEATH of it and never want to see it again, so taking a break from it is a welcome relief. It’s like taking a vacation after you’ve been working overtime for months. Sometimes I’ll do writing-adjacent things during this time, like reading, organizing/typing my notes, jotting down things I need to work on, reading/watching stuff that will energize and inspire me. Other times I work on another project or other scenes/chapters in the same project. Sometimes I’ll just take a break if I’m feeling burnt out or stressed.

I can come back to the project with fresh eyes, so that I can read it and see what things are actually good (suck it, in-process brain) or what things may still need work in a way I couldn’t do so soon after finishing.

Step 6: Revise

I revise in different ways depending on how much I feel something needs fixing. The first revision is my chance to see how the puzzle pieces knit together, work on scenes that I noticed aren’t pulling their weight or that need to be fleshed out. Sometimes this means I will completely, totally rewrite—and by that I mean “retype.” I open a fresh document, and referencing the original, start over. This allows me to streamline and better hone my language and ensure each scene is working hard.

This is something I do if I feel like a scene isn’t working as-is or I have a shit-ton of notes and comments on the first draft and it’s so chaotic I feel like I can’t focus anymore. This is especially helpful for dialog.

Other times the revisions are less drastic. Sometimes I means moving a scene around or deleting one that isn’t working. Sometimes it means finding all the times I’ve repeated the same word and fixing that, or fixing places where I’ve used the same sentence type too often.

Revision can be a very long process, depending on the quality of the first draft and what my goal is. If it’s just fan fic I’m doing for fun, then I don’t obsess too much: usually 1-2 read throughs and adjustments are OK. If it’s something I’m going to submit for publication, then that’s a different story bc the quality of the edit of your submitted draft makes a good impression (or a bad one).

Step 7: Beta Reader

If I have one, which I don’t always, then this is where I’ll send it to them. Usually what I want in a beta reader isn’t stuff like proof or copy editing, but rather “big picture” stuff. I want them to tell me: “this scene isn’t working” or “this feels contrived” or “I don’t like the main character.”

It can be frustrating and disheartening to get feedback that means I have to go back and do some major revising, but that’s why they’re there, bc often it’s either things I couldn’t see bc I’m too close to the story, or stuff I was in denial about (lol). Listening to my betas always leads to a better draft.

Step 8: Proofreading/Copyediting

The last step. I’ve done this professionally so I’m usually pretty good at finding typos and inconsistencies myself, but some people will hire someone like me to do that work bc they don’t have the skill or the time. Even if it’s “just for fun,” proofing is important bc it affects readability, and it’s embarrassing to me if I post something with glaring proof errors 😶.

~~~Anyway, that is roughly how my brain works. I don’t know if this is what you were expecting or wanting, but here it is!

[momestuck]

Epilogues: Meat ch 1-8 [Epilogue 1]

I’m eating so you get one more of these before I try to salvage a bit of work from today.

We’ve read through the whole of the ‘Candy’ branch of the story. It went places! Spoilers for it below.

Somehow Jane turned into a fascist dictator, Karkat became a heroic resistance leader, a whole lot of ships were made and broken, Dirk killed himself but somehow it was fake (???), John went through multiple existential crises and a failed marriage, Jade destroyed Dave and Karkat’s relationship but ultimately got with Dave, Gamzee was brought back to perform a ‘redemption arc’ and was generally awful but ultimately ended up getting sexually assaulted and then murdered by Vriska, let’s not forget that the cast had three entire fucking babies and one of them ran into her own namesake... and Obama was there. And that’s not even covering all of it...

But that was all in a universe that was ‘inconsequential’; it was in a bubble disconnected from ‘canon’, spread out on the event horizon.

Now we wind the clock back, and consider what happens if John chooses on that day to go forth, recruit a group of other selves from elsewhere in Paradox Space, and fight Lord English, as ‘canon’ dictates he eventually must...

Chapter 1

This one is in second person, and features narrative prompts, which was also true of the first chapter of Candy.

This time, John eats the meat in a really gross way, manages to not puke everywhere, says awkward goodbyes, writes a bunch of letters, and fucks off back into Canon(TM).

Not a lot to say about that! P much what we expected. Wonder where he’s gonna end up?

Chapter 2

I pretty much expected them to dive straight into Canon, but no, in fact similar plots as the first one seem to be abrew. We meet Dave and Karkat - no Jade here, this time - as Dave breaks the news of Jane’s presidential bid.

So, Dave proposes, Karkat should run against her. Which was a possibility floated in the other story... it does feel rather like, at this point, whatever V said, I might have read them in the wrong order.

Dave brings up Obama as a reason he’d want to see a good president - Obama who, in Dave’s timeline, got killed by meteors before he could ‘fix the economy’. Which I guess makes his appearance in the other branch a little less of a non-sequitur, though still fucking weird don’t get me wrong!

DAVE: or maybe not... maybe there was like an escape hatch in the white house that led to his own secret presidential session of sburb

DAVE: what if hes just chillin there now

KARKAT: DAVE, I THINK WE’VE COVERED YOUR “OBAMA’S SECRET SESSION OF SBURB” THEORY WELL ENOUGH ALREADY.

So the Obama chapter was all payoff for a very long term brick joke? This is not the revelation I expected to be having in Meat.

Anyway, Dave basically explains how scary it is to have the human government in charge of troll reproduction, echoing Karkat’s words back at him. Apparently the way the whole weird eugenic system got put in place was that, before Kanaya arrived with the Mother Grub, the government reproduced trolls exclusively ectobiologically.

The other issue is... The Economy. We get a little note that, indeed, this is an alchemy-based post-scarcity economy:

DAVE: ok if shit goes sideways i guess we arent gonna see like raggedy turtles and pauper chess men standing in bread lines or anything

DAVE: thats just the nature of alchemy-based post-scarcity economies the depressions tend to be pretty mild

DAVE: but it will still be bad

DAVE: a healthy economy is fuckin IMPORTANT

DAVE: if for no other reason than it protects the societal context for what it means to be fucking rich, like us

So uh what do they spend money on... I guess there’s services, those can’t be alchemised (except for the fact that ludicrously advanced robotics exists?). someone actually has to work the alchemizer...

Anyway most of this chapter is... electoral strategy.

DAVE: consorts overwhelm the other kingdoms in sheer numbers but due to unscrupulous gerrymandering, all kinds of fucked up voter suppression policies and some electoral “counterbalancing” measures to account for their ridiculous population growth rate their voting power per capita is kind of pathetic

DAVE: also its hard to drive turnout

DAVE: this may come as a shock but legions of easily distracted low information amphibians primarily concerned with eating bugs and farming god damned mushrooms arent the most politically motivated demographic

The chapter ends with Dirk calling Dave... to... cut off his head. Yeah. That joke again.

OK, this sure is a direction. Welcome to Homestuck Electoralism Edition I guess. They probably won’t have quite as many kids?

Chapter 3

John apparently has a specific list of retcon interventions, apopros of Rose. The first is to appear on the battleship during the three year journey in the non-canon, pre-retcon timeline, open a fridge containing Aradia and Gamzee (god I’ve forgotten so much), and take the ring that Aradia is holding (which ring is that again?). Then, John decides to shove Gamzee back in the fridge.

> Do everyone a favor and put an end to his preposterous narrative relevance.

You wisely decide that this clown will lend nothing valuable to the narrative whatsoever if he is allowed to remain outside of your childhood refrigerator. You put both hands on his chest and shove him into the fridge where he belongs. He goes easily, issuing only a pair of weak honks in protest. You slam the fridge shut and resolve to never think about Gamzee Makara again.

So... we’re going with that, huh.

I’ve said enough about the Gamzee Issue already perhaps. But I guess I thought they were going to do more than to bring Gamzee back mostly to mock the idea of ‘redemption arcs’, and ‘punish’ him some more for being a bad character.

Chapter 4

John interrupts two other retcon-Johns, one trying to cancel out the other, a Dave, and a grimbark Jade during some of the shit that happened when Jade got mind controlled or whatever... it’s been a long time...

Dave’s the first recruit, along with Jade. John gives him a rather half-assed explanation about why, after several years of ‘boring adult lives’, they need to go and fight Lord English now.

Chapter 5

Back to the real story: Dave and Karkat’s electoral bid.

Dirk has apparently been... playing the heel in televised rap battles to Jake’s face so that Jake’s endorsement of Jane’s political candidacy would be more effective. Yeah.

Also he disagrees with Dave on fiscal policy. The cad.

He has a rather weird conversation of alternately discouraging and encouraging Dave and Karkat’s opposition. Then, to round out the chapter, V and Cephied deliver... an entire stanza of Jake’s rap. Oh boy.

At the end, Dirk... tranquilizes Jake (????????) to take another call from Rose.

This is the ‘real’, ‘canon’ storyline now? Oh Homestuck.

Chapter 6

John’s assembled a group of god tier kids in his back garden. The alpha and beta kids are present, but there are no trolls.

There’s a rather uncomfortable moment (for the reader, as well as John) when young Roxy hits on adult John.

You weren’t prepared to get passively hit on by the Definitely Not Legal version of a girl you used to have a crush on at the age she was when you first met her, only a few hours after you watched the Actually Legal version of her engage in passionate hand-holding with her possibly aromantic skeleton alien monster girlfriend.

‘Legal’, really!

Anyway, John feels rather strained watching this rather rushed rehash of the reunion scenes from the original comic. He wonders about the ethics of all this...

You wonder. Do you see these teen versions of your friends as “real”? Are you treating them, at Rose’s behest, as simple puppets? Doing your part to insist they fill friend-shaped recesses in an essential plan to stabilize all else that can be considered important, a distinction no longer applying to them? Do you care at all about whatever fate it may be that you are sentencing these children to? Are you becoming as complicit in the fatalistic evils of Paradox Space as Lord English himself? Are you becoming a monster, John Egbert?

foooof i mean he’s not wrong! let’s call them the ‘child soldiers’ from here on out...

Chapter 7

Time to catch up with Rose. We finally learn what’s wrong with her: she’s ‘ascending’, taking on the full burden of the ‘ultimate self’.

The same is also happening to Dirk, but he is somehow more resilient to it. So that’s what Obama did to Dave, huh.

Also this puts the prompt ‘Dirk: Ascend’ before his suicide in a rather different light.

The pieces are thus falling into place: this is why Dirk was building a Rosebot. Quite possibly the Dirk and Rose who were flying away from Earth C in the Candy timeline actually entered it out of this timeline, which would explain how Dirk was alive.

Chapter 8

Time to see the full events of Caliborn’s ‘Masterpiece’.

This is all Caliborn dropping an extremely corny buildup:

CALIBORN: BUT NOW. THE TIME HAS COME.

CALIBORN: FOR EVERYONE TO SHUT UP ABOUT HOW GREAT MY MASTERPIECE WAS.

CALIBORN: AND THE TIME IS NOW AT HAND...

His laughter turns into a low, cracked gurgle. It spikes towards you in waves, distorts and pitches low. He is beyond pleased with himself, and with the line he is about to deliver.

CALIBORN: FOR YOU ALL TO *BECOME* MY MASTERPIECE!

We need more organs to give that the proper level of scare chord...

End of Epilogue 1

Well that explained at least some of the wild horseshit we experienced in Candy, I guess.

So somehow this is all according to keikaku, which is to say Dirk’s design - he fancies himself as an engineer, putting each piece in its proper place. Rose isn’t entirely in on it, but she will be. We still don’t know why Dirk’s doing this, why he needs Jane to be president, why he’s ultimately going to need a new SBurb session...

As for themes and stuff... this just felt like ‘setting the board’. Rather hastily, even though it’s a full eight chapters. Compared to the emotional heft of some of the stuff that happened in Candy, anyway... this is all plot.

[hypeathon]

RWBY - Volume 6, Chapter 2 Production Analysis

Vol 6, Ch 1 Production Analysis

It’s very safe to say that between the last production analysis post and every other response and feedback from the fan base in every corner of the internet, the volume 6 RWBY premiere started on an overwhelmingly high note. A lot of notes and criticisms (some more helpful than others) were taken to heart by Kerry Shawcross, Miles Luna and the rest of the production staff and to great effect through a combination of action scenes and comedic character acting. For the chapter that follows, aspects of the production have been applied to arguably just as great of a effect but for different reasons due to the admittedly heavy story beats provided. Let’s dive into all of that.

We can start with one part of Cinder’s scene in the beginning: effects related to water and rain. The first thing to note is the sheen on Cinder’s hair. It’s very fascinating because of how unclear it is as to whether this has anything to do with a new simulation in some plug-in tool or if it’s a small effect done in post-production or something else done together. Could it be something similar to how the process for this bit in episode 7 of season 1 of RWBY Chibi was done or something different is honestly hard to say.

The other effect to touch on is rain. Whether or not this is due to technical limitations or creative choices (or lack thereof), rainy weather started to occasionally be in the show since volume 4 when CRWBY primarily used the Autodesk Maya software as their animation tool. Since then, interactions between the character and environment models and rain have varied slightly such as ripples being faintly seen on raindrops and footsteps. However, this chapter made rain felt more “defined” so-to-speak. Water ripples are more visible and small splashes have appeared for the first time. Unlike the sheen on Cinder’s hair, these instances can more safely be presumed as having been done by the VFX team or Compositing department. What pops-to-mind about all of this is something mentioned in the previous production analysis post, that being the new 2-D FX artist position. When using the term “defined” to describe the rain effects, what this is referring to is how flat they look. This is similar to the smoke and wind effects already seen in the show in latter volumes which were presented specifically to help RWBY further resemble various anime, the medium RWBY is heavily-inspired by:

“The hardest parts were figuring out what kind of effect we wanted. We had a wind effect which drawing air can be a little hard to figure out. I spent a lot of time watching anime and looking at different ways in which people had drawn air and trying to come up with something that would resemble 2-D but have a very 3-D feel to it. We also had some fireballs that had to be developed from scratch that required not only coming up with the base of it, but also with some anime-esque flares so that was kind of neat to explore.”

- Jeff Yohn, VFX Artist, CRWBY Behind the Episode Season 1 - Anima Skies Fight.

It’s possible that Myke Chapman, as the 2-D FX Artist may have had something to do with this in particular. The push to make RWBY feel like an anime but in 3-D in as many appropriate ways as possible is definitely an admirable goal. There was a small concern regarding the possibility of the same visual effects, 2-D or 3-D, becoming reused a bit too frequently since not all effects in anime look the same and that’s largely to do with the animator in charge of cuts. However, this concern has been covered but more on that later.

Next is the setting everyone loves, the Mistral house. In all seriousness, It’s no secret that most of the fandom have expressed frustrations with this setting to some degree, even Nora made a tongue-in-cheek comment about it. But this scene is at least worth comparing to previous ones in the same setting throughout volume 5. The reason has to do with the character models. One big change made to volume 6′s overall aesthetic was the choice of overall lighting, being brighter compared to volume 5′s softer, warmer look. But a smaller change made were the inclusion of more line art and shading on certain physical features of most characters. When comparing between the same characters in the same setting, certain characters like Jaune and Qrow will have lines to form the collarbone unlike the last couple of volumes while other characters like Yang and Oscar/Ozpin have shading the present the folds in parts on their tops not previously seen. Even Weiss when looking back at the previous chapter will have a bit of shading on the rib cage area of her clothing to hell sell how tight they are.

This is not the first time this sort of thing has been done in RWBY as this was done to more of a much greater degree in volumes 2 & 3 when Poser was the primary animation software. The differences being that now there’s likely more of a simulation applied for the shading as oppose to being directly painted on to the models in earlier volumes. As a result, the line art for the physical features are applied more subtly. That’s the key word here, “subtly”. They are used just enough to define physical traits but not so much so that they risk coming off as distracting. When line work on characters were more heavily applied in volumes 2 & 3, the results varied. Sometimes they worked out okay while other times the line work were weird and confusing regarding how the bone and muscle structure even worked. To get a good idea of how much line work, shading, and overall form can make a difference in character design, 2-D or 3-D, Anime Ajay made a comparison of the character designs of Broly for the Dragon Ball Super film and in various Dragon Ball projects in latter years. I can only imagine how much of a broken record I am being for using Anime Ajay’s videos as go-to means of illustrating some points, but his insight on anime production and design and animation principles are worth paying mind to whether one cares for the Dragon Ball franchise or not.

Next are a couple of other things within the house scene, first being the relic. Many fans questioned and speculated why the artifact changed size from scene-to-scene and it’s through the shot of Ozpin how this happens. The seamless size adjustment is not at all bad, but the way handle grew bigger on Ozpin’s hand made it a bit too seamless. Perhaps if one close-up shot of the handle was shown first to indicate how Ozpin needed to adjust the way he held on to the relic and then followed with the original medium shot of the relic as a whole would have helped the size change would’ve been a bit better. But this is all just a nitpick. The other thing to touch on in the scene is Nora’s brief manic moment. There’s not a whole lot to say on it since such scenes have been done before with Nora’s character to great effect, but this probably most crazed version seen yet. The timing on this one is much more rapid than in previous instances with split-second cutting between characters, spontaneous reactions, smears in the animation, the one extreme close-up shot of Nora’s eyes and the tea kettle sound effect just cranks up the comedic nature. What probably sells it though is how Ren and Ozpin’s calm and easy-going personalities serve as the perfect juxtaposition to help immediately bring down high energy. I have no idea who animated the scene and I can’t say much about the editing besides the fact that Connor Pickens is still the lead editor despite also being a co-director. But whatever the case behind-the-scenes, the humor was perfect here.

With all of that said, here comes one of the biggest highlights of the episode in terms of breaking down the presentation and speculating the production. What most fans talked about this episode were the animation and Jinn’s design more than anything else. Both cases are very much worth paying mind to. The snowy scene where everyone’s hair and clothes flowed strongly in response to the wind and much of the character acting was top-notch, especially since Asha Bishi was confirmed to have animated it (her knack for creating expression through animal ears and other traits I’ve mentioned before here). And Jinn’s design is definitely otherworldly in terms of how she’s animated and the particle effects done on her model. However, what made this episode were the storyboards.

There are many resources about the production of RWBY throughout the volumes. In terms of learning about the various animators, the ending credits in each volume are a great starting point and from there, blu-ray audio commentary tracks, animator demo reels, tweets, convention panels and production diary videos are all constructive ways to familiarize oneself with the animation styles. It’s the main reason I managed to make the Animators Spotlight series of post in the first place. However, finding the same quantity information from other departments is scarce in comparison and thus a more challenging task. It’s one thing to at least learn the general process behind how a stage in the show’s production is approached in a given volume. But it’s a whole other thing entirely to pinpoint who exactly is responsible for a certain trick in the visual effects or an intricate-looking prop in an environment design. The same problem can especially apply to the storyboards and camera layouts since both departments share some of the same people but one person working on the boards in a scene may not necessarily also be doing the layouts in that same scene. It’s also hard to indicate when one the task of boards change from one person to another in a given chapter. Unlike storyboard artists in anime which are usually assigned to one person per episode, making it easier to indicate the choices in visual direction and cinematography, the number of artists assigned to board an episode of RWBY have varied between 2-6 people. Without much evidence to indicate who exactly did which parts of the storyboards, it can be near impossible to tell the visual languages different artists have brought into the show.

There is one exception however. One storyboard and camera layout artist that has been around in RWBY’s production since volume 3 contributed a great quantity to the show and there’s much evidence out there to suggest it. That person is Rachel Doda, whose name has been referred to in previous posts. Through most of the same sources mentioned earlier to learn about which cuts different animators have done, there is quite a bit of confirmation as to which scenes she provided storyboards or camera layouts for. The aftermath of Shion village, Qrow and Raven’s talk at the tavern at Higanbana, Weiss in her father’s office, Yang confronting the bandits, the entire Weiss character short, the volume 4 opening, Tyrian’s breakdown moment and Oscar vs Leo, all to name a few have been confirmed to be handled by her through either storyboards or camera layouts. Between these scenes and the patterns seen in them, it’s possible that she did the boards and/or layout for the snow scene in this chapter of volume 6.

Certain visual techniques can be seen between these examples alone, one of which were actually confirmed from Rachel’s mouth herself via episode 11 of RWBY Rewind for volume 5:

“I work as a story and layout artist and in particular for this episode, I was a final camera artist. So what you’re seeing right now is the animatic with storyboards done by Kevin Harger of this little moment that happens in the episode where Oscar goes up against Leo. Then after it goes into animatic, it goes into pre-layout and animation and what was cool about this moment was this was a moment where we had to be collaborative with the animator and with camera.

I got the animator stuff (animator was John Yang) and I looked at it and compared it to the boards and I thought, “this is the first time I believe that we get to see Oscar use Ozpin’s cane in combat!” So for me, I was like, “let’s show off the cane as much as we can.” I’m a sucker for stuff that comes up into the foreground a lot and that shot where he raises it (the cane) right into the foreground, I like really resonated with that because to me that was like, “oh, it’s like fencing!” Or in particular, like epee. I want that to be a huge focus so, depending on where the camera goes, it’s like “hey, I want to lead your eye from one point to the other.”

I grew up with anime a lot when I was a kid, so seeing that stuff come to life is amazing.”

Having the viewer’s eye be drawn to a certain object closer to the camera can be seen in various shots she did boards or layouts for. Sometimes it’s to make the shot dynamic while other times is to provide a sense of staging or blocking. Certain other techniques that have been seen in her boards are rotation shots and panning shots that put a character in the background in focus. There are also long shots where the camera pans from a much farther distance to indicate the different kinds of relationships between characters or who is more dominant and submissive respectively or which characters are otherwise the focus of the scene.

Again, the long-winded point behind studying Rachel Doda’s approaches within her line of work in particular is to help compare to the snow scene with the main cast this chapter. It’s all to be on the same page in order to speculate how some of the shots may have come from her. Instances such as Ruby looking at the relic in the foreground or this shot where it aptly shows how Ozpin is pressured to defend himself against the members of Team RWBY through the use of height in the terrain can be compared to some of her other faraway panning shots. Of course it follows with a more high angle shot where Yang, Weiss and Blake are framed to surround Ozpin as he further attempts to defend himself. Then there’s one instance where the camera pans to showing Ruby possessing the relic and it follows with a clever shot of Ozpin’s hand being lowered after his arguments were questioned. Next is Oscar’s hand towards the camera as he tries to restrain Ozpin which is similar to the types of foreground-focused shots quoted from Rachel that she has done before. And then there are the moments of hair and clothing flowing in the wind for dramatic effect. In the first instance where Ozpin talked about Leo, the comparison can be made to Qrow telling Raven why it’s important to be told of the Spring Maiden’s whereabouts as a visually-timed period to their sentences. Now there is a strong possibility that all of this speculation could be way off and Kevin Harger, Cassidy Stone, or Veronica Valencia could have done the boards for this snow scene or even the next one. Whatever the case, hopefully, this will at the very least further entice food-for-thought and discussions regarding the various techniques in visual direction and who may be responsible for what.

Moving on, this would be a good time to talk about something rarely ever mentioned in any of these RWBY production posts before: voice acting. By now, many fans have been made aware of the fact that more and more of the ensemble cast in the show have been voiced by talent who spent their careers dubbing anime in Dallas or Houston Texas via titles from Funimation or Sentai Filmworks. What not as many people may be aware of though is how remarkable for casting choices like this to still happen given the current anime dubbing climate. Since the success of Space Dandy on the Toonami programming block on Adult Swim, Funimation started doing “broadcast dubs” or now called “simuldubs.” This practice is a similar but more time crunch approach to simulcasts where the episodes are provided from whatever licensing companies in Japan to premiere an anime dubbed within either a few weeks or some cases like My Hero Academia and Re:Tokyo Ghoul, the same day. This same practice recently started earlier in 2018 with Sentai Filmworks and HiDive under the name “dubcasts”. Whatever the name, it has made for stressful scheduling on voice directors, script writers, voice actors, and engineers and has led to sometimes cases of voice actors initially cast to not being able to do a part due to being sick or other matters.

In the case of My Hero Academia’s voice director and the voice of Momo Yayorozu, Colleen Clinkenbeard, not only is the scheduling especially tight, but when she started voice casting and dubbing the movie in July, she had to give the responsibility of dubbing the rest of season 3 to Clifford Chapin, the voice of Bakugo and Shay D. Mann from RWBY, to name a couple of his roles. Similarly, another voice actress named Luci Christian, who voices Ochako Uraraka from My Hero Academia, also does quite a bit of voice acting between Funimation and Sentai Filmworks and is also involved in various simuldubs and dubcasts. So for both of them to manage to record the voices of Jinn and Little Miss Malachite respectively in this chapter is astonishing to say the least. Casting of anime dub voice actors in the show started since volume 3 and went full force in volume 4 when Marissa Lenti of Sound Cadence studios started providing additional casting. And it has definitely brought the attention of those who have played a part such as Cherami Leigh as Ilia Amitola and those who want to play a part like Cristina Vee. But back in 2016, same-day simuldubs had not yet been done since Space Dandy and only a lot more shows have gotten that close scheduling treatment since then.

Lastly, there’s the scene that ends the episode to breakdown. More striking shots of the stance and side between characters were definitely well-framed in this last segment. But this is also a good time to revisit the matter of visual effects and compositing. The smoke effect when the tower and props appeared in a white void helped address the minor concern brought up earlier about whether the VFX team would resort to using the same kind of look for certain effects. Where smoke has generally been presented to be more cel-shaded in latter volumes, here the smoke emitted from Jinn is a lot more wispy and grainy. This is to help further indicate how the overall post-production process requires just as much creative input as it does technical. And then there’s Salem herself. Her surprise reveal definitely left an impact on viewers but it also served as an example of a callback to the shot that revealed her current design. One example is more stoic and menacing while the other is more innocent and melancholic. This is far from the first visual callback in the show as Cinder stabbing Weiss in chapter 11 of volume 5 was another instance as explained by Rachel Doda in the same RWBY Rewind episode quoted earlier:

“So for storyboards, what we’ll do is we’ll go in and talk with the director and we’ll see what their vision is and what they want, we’ll give them options, we’ll give them thumbnails. Sometimes we’re given enough freedom where we’re like, “oh we can just do whatever we want and then come back to the director”. In this case, I believe Kerry was very specific about what he wanted for this moment. And for me personally, looking at this, you get a bunch of callbacks to Pyrrha’s death. But you also get a callback to Amber’s.”

And that is the end of chapter 2′s production analysis. The action was definitely absent this episode, but that is not at all a bad thing. The cinematography and character expressions this episode were the definitely what helped make the story as engaging as it was for fans, with staging as the primary means to create tension and rift between Ozpin and literally everyone else. The vfx and compositing also played quite a secondary role, specifically with Jinn’s character and her overall presence in the story. And of course, the contribution of the Dallas voice acting talent pool continues to be a pleasant treat, despite tighter schedules due to the growth of simuldubs. With the episode setting up what may potentially be a hefty backstory, it’ll be interesting to see what creative and technical choices are to be shown in chapter 3.

[sighingsiren-tales]

|A Theory part 7|

GROUP: GOT7 ft. special guests

GENRE: Smut, Angst, Pure Unadulterated Nonsense

LENGTH: 3.6k

A/N: Whoo boy has this been long awaited. Now a lot happens in this chapter my loves so I need for you to keep up. Can you do that for me? 

Oh yeah, Happy Halloween loves.

Enjoy~ Kae 

Gifs below are not mine

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Part 8

“Just how much did you drink?”

I looked over to the infamous Park Jimin, his burnt orange hair that was styled up and away from his face at first now obscuring his eyes slightly but doing absolutely nothing to lessen the effect that his gaze had on me. I attempted to keep my face neutral but I could do nothing to stop the few barely concealed giggles that I let slip the longer I stared at his face.  A slow, sensual smirk worthy of only the man who wore it, graced his features as I was thrown into another fit of unimaginable giggling.  He shook his head in what I assumed to be amusement, leaning against the mini bar that was placed strategically in the corner of Yoongi’s apartment.

“God, I could watch you all day Minnie” I gushed drunkenly, although my words convyed nothing but undealt with sexaual tension and blunt honesty.

He raised a brow, his smirk growing slightly, showing just a hint of teeth, as he brought his glass to those full, pink lips of his.

“Oh really?” He asked lowly, before sipping from the auburn colored liquid.

I nodded, leaning back against the wall and watching him from underneath hooded eyes and full lashes.

“Watching me do what, exactly?” He questioned, his face growing slightly serious again.

I let out a low hmm, quickly followed with a laugh that I just wasn’t able to hold back as I uttered the word “anything”. His eyes grew dark, his face set, the look only comparable to when he was on stage.

“Yeah?” He took a step closer, so he was about a foot away from me now.

“So what would you rather watch?” He took another step toward me, watching my body language intently.

“What I do to me” He looked off toward something in the distance, his face taking on the sweet and reserved side of Jiminie.

“Or” His voice instantly darkened, dropping a few octaves as well as he snapped his gaze to me.

He watched me with such intent that I could barely hold my own against said intensity. He moved closer to me, his body about a hair from mine as he gave a lingering touch to my chin, tilting my head up. Tucking a few stray curls behind my ear, he leaned down and asked: “Would you rather watch what I would do to you?”.

I pulled away to look at him, the pure unadulterated lust that was no doubt in my eyes, reflected in his. His words had such a paradoxical effect, sobering me up enough to both consent to and desire for the former implied actions to occur but at the same time, intoxicating me further. I bit my bottom lip out of habit, watching as the adorable and giggly Minnie dissipated into Park Jimin. This was essentially the scene that Jungkook and Taehyung walked in on as they came from upstairs, all laughing and drunken behavior ceasing as the palpable sexual tension got stronger, if not lingered. Taehyung’s eyes surveyed the situation as Jungkook’s hardened because of said situation. Taehyung gave a low chuckle before speaking.

“Door to the right, drawer on the left, don’t make me have to go up there and show you up”.

His low deep voice along with the insinuation that came with his words fueled the burning, tingling sensation in my lower stomach that Jimin started. Jungkook looked between Jimin and I once, the way his eyes stayed on my form no doubt giving away his thoughts.

“Oh hell no” Were the only words muttered as Jungkook walked over to me, more so stormed actually, and grabbed me, pulling me to stand behind him.

I was effectively caught off guard, pausing to look at the prodigy with surprise.

“I don’t give a fuck if you were born in Busan first, you don’t get to touch her first, or at all for that matter” his voice was a low, unexpected growl; manly, sexy and catching me completely off guard.

Jimin simply shrugged, his smirk growing being the semi clear confines of the glass.

“She seemed to like the idea”.

Taehyung looked between both his senior and junior with his eyebrow raised in amusement before chuckling and raising his half full glass slightly whilst speaking.

“You gotta love alcohol”.

I gripped onto Jungkook’s shoulders, my nails slightly digging into the skin as I made my way to face him completely. When I was in front of said man, which turned out to be a bad idea (or good, depends on how you look at it) because I was now sandwiched between him and Jimin, I could very well notice the way his his jaw clenched and the gorgeous contours that came with his maturity were now showing themselves in a deadly light. He looked from Jimin, down to me., not saying a word.

“Kookie-”

Within seconds, he tangled his fingers in my curls and pulled back so I had no choice but to keep my eyes on him, a show of absolute dominance. I never even knew I liked something so rough, so domineering, so carnal, but the feeling of absolute lust that surged through my body at the action taught me something new. Jimin let his fingertips dance across the skin of my neck slightly, a low hum accompanying the realization.

“Stop calling me that” Jungkook brought my attention and thoughts back to him with those four words.

“I am not a child”.

He leaned down, his voice a rasp as his lips brushed against the shell of my ear.

“If I have to bend you over my knee to teach you that, let me know”.

“And just how bad do you think you're going to get it tonight?”.

Yugyeom’s hot breath flushed over my ear as his words stirred an intense feeling in my lower stomach, matched with the look that the golden maknae was giving me from the other side of the room as his lip stayed within the confines of his teeth with the first few buttons of his shirt still undone. My mind was taken from that small flashback and back to the present within seconds, my mind and body now focused on the two men in the room with me now, one of which being a main character in said flashback.

“I finally get to have you all alone for fucks sake you chose my room” His voice was low, obviously angered.

His words were accentuated with a very rough grab at my hips, pulling me down into him and somehow, reiterating how angry he was.

“And you fucking stumble in practically tongue fucking him”.

Jungkook let out a low chuckled at the way Yugyeom spoke his name; a venomous hiss.

“Jealous?” The former mused, keeping his eyes on the younger of the two.

The giant maknae raised his head from the crook of my neck, looking up at Jungkook with fire blazing behind the fierce gaze.

“Not in the slightest. You know almost as well as I do that I’d barely have to put in an effort to have her coming undone and, If I’m honest,” He paused to leaned back, his hands releasing their grip on my hips so that his arms could lay spread out against the back of the couch.

“After your attempt to show me up, you look a little winded”.

Jungkook raised his perfectly shaped brow, a slight smile forming on his lips as his tongue poked out from the inside of his cheek, his jaw moving in a slight movement that displayed agitation.

“Let her off your lap to so she can come find out just how much energy I really have. I have stamina that he doesn’t” He raised his head, plucking open a button of his shirt as he leaned forward, bracing his forearms on his knees.

His face took on a dark, lustful tone that I had never seen from it before.

“Remember that” He spoke, the sentence aimed directly at me.

“You are trying my patience” The man behind me spoke in a low, deep tone, one that conveyed just how much he wanted me without direct verbal communication.

Jungkook only let out a snort before quietly holding a hand out to me as an invitation. I felt Yugyeom sit up slightly, one arm wrapping securely around my waist as he looked between the Jeon across the way and myself. His lips brushed against the shell of my ear, causing a pleasurable shiver to run through my body.

“I share you enough with my hyungs baby. I will not share you with Jungkook too” He let his fingers tangle themselves in my curls, pulling my head back in a slow pleasurable manner, causing heat to settle in my lower stomach.

“Nothing personal. The man is my best friend, but this is an exercise in the phrase “sharing is caring” by far. The only thing I really care to do” He paused to let his finger trail, ever so slowly and ever so lightly, down my chest and leading toward the apex of my thighs.

“Is give you a firsthand lesson on how well that kiss earlier on conveys how I fuck” His teeth teased my ear lightly, enough for my back to arch slightly.

A quick succession of knocks that diverted our attention was followed by the door swinging open almost instantaneously. A mess of dark locks came into view, much different than they were before. He walked in, his walk a slow, deliberate and yet purposeful strut that showed he came for one thing and one thing only.

“I have a question” He began ever so composed.

No one spoke as he ventured further into the room, slow deliberate steps, one in front of the other.

“How long are you two going to go at it? If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’d want to fuck Jungkook more than you do her” His sentence cause Jungkook to sputter in embarrassment while Yugyeom froze likely in the same manner

His dark eyes turned toward me, addressing me for the first time since he entered the room.

“I see you picked his room” His voice was smooth but it’s former playful tone was gone, replaced by a dark sexual expression I had never heard him emanate before.

“Yes, she did. That statement actually requires you to explain why you’re here” Yugyeom asked, both arms going around my waist now in a possessive manner.

The slight surprise of Yugyeom talking back to his hyung in such a way was whiplash in itself.  My head was spinning as I looked to decipher this entire situation as well as tamper down my hormones. On one hand, I recounted the events of the day, thanking my best friends for even putting me in such a position to have even gotten so far with all 7 of these men. On the other hand, however, my body has been teased mercilessly, all day without the slightest bit of pay off, the closest thing being Mark and I’s little play time in the backseat of the car here and I was just about at my wits end. I was at a point where I two steps away from blatantly asking one of these men to fuck me on the floor of this room, mini bar counter and everywhere in between if we were being honest.

“Yes, well, I thought the brat had had enough of the boys and was ready to move onto men” A sexy, teasing smile graced his lips and I was almost at a loss for words.

“Hey!” I pouted at the cruel nickname but the realization and excitement that settled into my bones not too far after was an absolute tidal wave of hormones slamming into  my body.

“See brat, this is why you listen first, react later. I saw your eyes darken” He spoke lowly, leaning down slightly so he could meet my eyes better.

“You’re thinking about what I can do to you, yes?”.

“Jinyoung” his voice left my name in a whisper, almost too low for anyone but him to hear and dripping with lust.

“Answer me” He commanded roughly, causing my body to ache with a need that only he could satiate right now.

I nodded slowly, keeping eye contact with him. Jinyoung had an aura where you just wanted to please him; Somewhere, somehow, my body knew that pleasing the prince in front of me would end in a night of slow, building, overwhelming pleasure.

“Good girl” he husked, before straightening his spine and standing at full height.

“Come here” His voice was like I’ve never heard it before, low, sweet and very slow, but a seduction all the same.

Yugyeom kept his hands on my hips, pulling me down into his arousal causing me to shift in his lap as I unconsciously pulled my thighs together in an attempt for some relief.

“Hyung, I’ve shared enough for today. I’ve been a good boy” His current low whine of a voice conveyed his pout so vividly, I could swear I could see it if I wasn’t looking directly at his hyung.

But the way my heart nearly stopped and my body reacted when he said those two words, had me questioning the possible double meaning behind it.

Good boy.

The scenarios that filled my mind afterward were barely pushed away with the strength of self-control that was a hair away from cracking under pressure.

“Well how about you continue to be one?” Jinyoung’s deep voice came across, a direct command toward his maknae even if it wasn’t structured as one.  

“I’m nearly at my breaking point here hyung” Yugyeom spoke in a breathy tone, his hot breath against the side of my neck, causing me to attempt to stifle a low groan that escaped my throat.

The man in question took his opportunity to walk over to us, taking my hand in a gentle manner and helping me to stand, whilst pulling me to stand by his side.

“Nearly meaning not just yet. Wait a little longer” Jinyoung spoke before addressing me with a small “C’mon”.

As we made it to the door on our way to god knows where, Jinyoung paused so he could speak again.

“Now, run along and play boys. Let the grown men handle their business, specifically speaking, let me handle her” With that, he closed the door and walked, quite hurriedly if I may add, toward the exit of this hallway and, ultimately, toward the exit of the club.

“Jinyoung?” I asked, the disbelief evident in my tone.

“Yes?” His voice taking a backseat to the music as he maneuvered his way through the grinding bodies and toward the door.

I could only look at him in awe. Did he really just do that? Was this really the dominant man who was always in control risking what I assumed was a planned evening by telling his dongsaeng to stand down? Was this really him at the breaking point of his control? I doubt it but the glimpse of it was sexy and alluring enough to have me at his every beck and call. The thought alone made heat pool between my legs rapidly so the action itself was damn near orgasm inducing. As we finally made it out into the cool night air, he scanned the street before walking over to a car I recognized as being a duplicate for the one I took here with Mark. He tugged on my hand, pulling me to the vehicle.

“Your legs look amazing in those heels” He spoke as we approached the car.

As he opened the door for me, he leaned over to whisper in my hair.

“I wonder how they would look thrown over my shoulders”.

I nearly tripped getting into the vehicle at his words, only catching myself last minute. I watched from my place in the car seat as he gracefully got into the car seat and adjusted his leather jacket. Once he ordered for the partition to go up and it slid into it’s rightful position, he raised an eyebrow, daring me to spend another second in the wrong place. I could tell by the way his stare penetrated me that he wanted anything but me next to him right now in this moment in time; he wanted more. Issue was, I didn’t know what more he wanted from me. What exactly did he want me to do? How did he want me to act?  His fingertips skimmed over the light marks his hyung left on my neck, the slightly darkening pleasureable bruise showing itself in the dim lighting. He brought my legs up with a sharp inhale, letting them lay across his lap, causing me to lay back, slightly propped up against the car door. He let his hands skim alongside the skin of my calf.

“I was so tired of watching those two boys struggle to take a man’s place” He mused, his voice a low hum.

“Really?” I breathed.

He didn’t answer me, only traced the outline of my leg lifting it slightly before caressing it roughly.

“I naturally assumed you wanted something a man could give you” He leaned down toward my knee while simultaneously pulling it up,  pressing a kiss to the the side of it closer to my inner thighs causing me to shiver pleasurably.

“Something that I can give you, yes?” He corrected, voice dark and dripping with sexual undertones.

I nodded as his finger trailed the inside of my knees, slowly going up to my thigh. But the trick to his seduction was that his eyes never left my own; Those deep orbs of dark brown never left my own so anything he wanted to do he, he could. So long as he held his gaze, hell, even afterward. Even if his eyes left mine, my eyes never left him; I made sure I watched what he did to me. In a quick motion, he maneuvered and shifted so that he was between my legs, hovering over me before I could even blink. His breath fanned my lips and the sweet, sexy scent of near overwhelming cinnamon assaulted my senses for a moment. My gaze could only flicker between his lips and his eyes, saying what my eyes couldn’t.

“Don’t look at me like that” His voice a rough command that snapped me from my trance.

My gaze went directly back to his eyes at the command.

“I know exactly what you want from me when you look at me like that” He whispered darkly.

I let one leg skim the side of his jean clad hip, my ankle resting right at his thigh.

“Then why don’t you give it to me?” I whined, wrapping my arms around his neck in quite a needy fashion.

He chuckled darkly, leaning down toward my ear.

“Trust me brat, you don’t want that” He rasped, letting his finger dance across the skin of my upper inner thigh.

“But” He began, the movements of his finger stopping just short of the apex of my thighs.

“Let’s say, for argument’s sake, that you somehow convince me that you want it. Even then” He let his knuckles skim across the skin of my thigh.

“You couldn’t handle it”.

I leaned up, taking the shell of his ear in between my teeth roughly and tugging on it just as harsh, eliciting a low growl from him. When he pulled back to meet my eyes, his own were filled with such a dark desire that I nearly lost my own resolve.

“I can handle it Jinyoung. I’m not some little gir-”

Within a quick second he straightened his spine, sitting up straight and yanking me up by the back of my neck to follow his lead. With his fam still firmly guiding me by the nape of my neck, he brought my lips within a hair of his own, His voice a low, dark growl of a command.

“You will address me as sir or not at all”.

Oh my god.

I could feel my eyes widen from my words, the slight lust mixed with fear obviously exciting him. I nodded slowly, barely able to control my motor skills.

“Words” He commanded, his grip on my neck tightening.

I swallowed thickly before doing as he asked.

“Y-yes sir”.

He brushed his knuckles across my cheek fondly.

“Good girl” He muttered, his features softening.

As quick as his features softened however, they hardened, his eyes taking on such a dark desire that both terrified and excited me.

“But you’ve been quite the little slut today” He whispered, his voice my sweeter than his words but the effect almost instantaneous, causing my body to ache once more.

“Over my lap, now”He commanded, his voice leaving little room for argument but my body, feeling like lead, took a minute or two follow his command.

Once I situated myself across his lap, he let his hands skim across the area directly under my ass, causing me to jump slightly, eliciting a chuckle from him.

‘Since you decided to take your sweet time, I’ll take my own” He paused to lean over my body, his voice now directly next to my ear.

“Now be a good girl and count”

[kingdomstroops]

What Is Faith and How Does It Changes Your Life?

What Is Faith And How Do We Understand It?

“Behold, as for the proud one, His soul is not right within him; But the righteous will live by his faith. ~ Habakkuk 2:4 As we approach the topic of what is faith, let us springboard off of the movie entitled Indiana Jones and Last Crusade. The theme of this entertaining film is the search and quest to find the Holy Grail; the cup that Jesus drank from during the Last Supper. Towards the end of the movie, the plot has developed.  Indiana Jones, who's father has been shot, is forced by the villains to proceed through the various tests culminating in finding the Holy Grail. Helping the heroes of the movie is a book that reveals pictures, diagrams and words to help in the search of this seemingly important religious artifact. The Test Of Faith The last test brings Indiana Jones to the edge of a precipice where off in the distance is an entrance way, but seemingly no path that one can walk on to cross over the ravine. Looking at the book that has guided them up to this point, Indiana Jones reads, "The man of God will leap from the Lion's Head to prove his worth.” Indiana Jones says to himself this is impossible. Nobody can jump this. It is during this scene that the acting skills of Harrison Ford are in full display. He acts out his anxiety with his full fear of the predicament and certain death if he is wrong. Additionally, this is coupled with his intense desire to save his father who has suffered from a gunshot wound. Finally, he realizes what he needs to do and, in a dramatic pause; he extends his left foot, hovers above the precipice and takes the leap of faith.Defining It The word faith evolves from the Latin word fides. The actual meaning or definition of it means to trust or have assurance in a idea, a thing or a person. For example if you sit on a chair you are exhibiting faith or assurance in that chair that it will hold your seated weight. An example of this in an idea would be gravity knowing that if you jumped off of something, earth's gravitational pull would draw you towards the ground. Or an example of this in a person would be the child-like faith of a child jumping towards their parent knowing that the parent will catch them in mid-air. belief and demonstration of it is all around us and is a critical part of our environment, interactions and daily occurrences. If a Christian or a non-believer wanted to know what faith is, a textbook definition that can be shared is found in Hebrews 11:1. This verse declares, Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen. Faith in God's Word Perhaps the best way to demonstrate this is to briefly study an example of what faith is in God's Word. Take for example Abraham in Genesis 22 who was called upon to sacrifice his son. In this chapter and verses we are witness to a powerful exhibition of trust between Abraham, his son and God. God instructs Abraham to take his son, his only son, his only son that he loves to a mountain top and there sacrifice his son on the altar. The purpose of this command by God is to test the relationship between Abraham and God and whether Abraham will prove to be faithful. Faith Defined In These Verses We See The Question Of What Is Faith Defined By A Number Of Elements: Obedience – God says to Abraham take your son – Abraham is obedient in verse three. Worship – even though the command is to sacrifice his son, Abraham clearly says to the servants that they're going to worship as seen in verse five Trust – God has nothing but the best intentions for us and therefore Abraham says that they will be returning in verse five. He knows God and that God has no evil intentions. Having Confidence Our confidence is well placed when we lean on God's faithfulness. This is seen as a particular name of God is revealed. That name is Jehovah-Jireh, or God will provide, as seen in verse eight and verse 14. God is faithful and will always provide for His people. And so, what is faith? For the Christian it is trust, worship, obedience and belief in the faithfulness of God. This is also emphasized by its importance. Consequently, knowing what faith is, it is important to know the role or importance of it.  It Pleases God: First of all, faith demonstrated towards God is crucial. Hebrews 11:6 states, And without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is and that He is a rewarder of those who seek Him. In addition to exercising it and pleasing God, our faith activates His presence and power in situations. It can be likened to the fullness of God in our lives as a stick of dynamite. In order for this dynamite to explode in any given situation; a spark needs to ignite the attached fuse. Our faith is the spark that is required to release the power of the stick of TNT. It Has A Direct Bearing On Believers: This dynamic demonstration of the importance of faith and answering the question of what it is can be directed towards the believer. The Scripture clearly states that this comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God (Romans 10:17). In addition to our faith being increased by hearing and meditating on God's Word it is increased through prayer. However, It's important to remember that prayer is more of dwelling in God's presence and listening to His voice.  True prayer is not really about asking God for things to happen by reading a want list.  Communion With God Our faith is increased through communion with Him. This spiritual reality can be illustrated by comparing God to a fire burning within a fireplace. The closer one draws to the fire the more the intensity of the fire is felt. Also, when discussing what faith is, it is important to clarify the effects of this in the life of the believer. The first major effect in the life of the believer is their relationship with God. In responding to faith, the believer can state that it is the lifeline to a relationship with God through His Son and the indwelling presence of The Holy Spirit.Discover how faith is our shield of the armor of God. By Faith: We are justified by faith. Not only are our sins forgiven, but our past is forgotten. For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith to faith; as it is written, “But the righteous man shall live by faith.” ~ Romans 1:17 Faith is our duty, our privilege. Therefore they said to Him, “What shall we do, so that we may work the works of God?” Jesus answered and said to them, “This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He has sent.” ~ John 6:28-29 In addition to having faith change us, our faith and the effects of it spill over into the world of those around us. In the gospel of John we read, Now on the last day, the great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried out, saying, “If anyone is thirsty, let him come to Me and drink. He who believes in Me, as the Scripture said, ‘From his innermost being will flow rivers of living water.’” ~ John 7:37-38 We should and will have a significant and impact in this world. The life of Stephen, the first martyr, demonstrates this impact, And Stephen, full of grace and power, was performing great wonders and signs among the people. ~ Acts 6:8 Through Faith, We Will Be The Difference: · James 2:17-18 reads, Even so faith, if it has no works, is dead, being by itself.But someone may well say, “You have faith and I have works; show me your faith without the works, and I will show you my faith by my works.” This is His commandment, that we believe in the name of His Son Jesus Christ, and love one another, just as He commanded us. ~ I John 3:23  We show forth the love of Christ in a world desperate for a demonstration of real love. The world does not need more of the doctrine of Christ, but more of a demonstration of His love. Also, In Answering The Question Of What Is Faith, We Find That We Are Part Of God's Army And A Force To Be Reckoned With: In our spiritual battles – in addition to all, taking up the shield of faith with which you will be able to extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. ~ Ephesians 6:16 Our faith changes us in that we recognize the spiritual warfare around us and we stand, by faith, on our victory in Christ. For whatever is born of God overcomes the world; and this is the victory that has overcome the world—our faith. ~ I John 5:4 The answer to what is faith is also realized as our lives reveal that this world has no power over us. who by faith conquered kingdoms, performed acts of righteousness, obtained promises, shut the mouths of lions, ~ Hebrews 11:33 and continues on to talk about conquered, justice gained, flames of fire quenched and armies routed. Jones Takes The Leap The fictional character, Indiana Jones, was faced with a challenge. The challenge of what is faith was presented as he endeavored to heal his father who had been wounded. In order for him to find the Holy Grail, fill the chalice with the healing waters and take the vessel back to his father and hope that the waters poured out on his father's wound would heal, Indiana Jones needed to take a leap of faith. His leap of faith answered the question of the riddle in the book and what is faith. Obviously the story line is purely fictional. However, the emphasis on faith is the reality for the believer.

So What Does This All Mean To The Christian?

For us, even as Christians, we are not in a bubble of immunity from the negative circumstances and events that occur. Our walk, in good and bad times, requires the same demonstration or leap of faith in order to activate the power and presence of God in our lives and those around us. The beauty of a faithful relationship with God is that when these things occur, our leaps of faith fill us with the divine peace of God that passes all understanding. Our faith does not keep us from the fires of life, but God, through the presence of His Holy Spirit walks through the fire with us (Daniel 3: 25). Trust In God We do this by being obedient to His Word.  And also, by trusting in the Fatherhood of God and His care for us. And finally, by worshiping Him and knowing that He governs despite the negativism of circumstances and events in this world.  Through this we know He is Jehovah-Jireh Who is our provider. What is faith? It is the victory that overcomes the world and transforms us.  And not only us, but those around us while positively impacting the world we live in. Read the full article

[funkyrbsongs]

Don't Hesitate to Do These 8 Hard Things for Your Mental Health

You need to do hard things to be happy in life. Because the hard things ultimately build you up and change your life from the inside out.

Daily stress is one of the primary causes of major mental and physical health problems in our lives: it can cause heart disease, anxiety, sleep deprivation, auto-immune disorders, weight problems, unhappiness, and even deep depression.

But we’re busy – we all have places to be, things to do and people to see. So, how do we alleviate stress and still get our work done right, without neglecting our loved ones and ourselves? What can we realistically start doing today to nurture our mental health and overall wellness?

There are eight simple (but not easy) things that need to be practiced. A few mindset shifts and a couple actions that take only a few minutes a day. These can’t solve the most severe stress-related problems, but they can help most of us in a major way.

1. Be in the moment, completely, with just one task at a time.

Instead of being in a stressful task-switching state of mind, take your next task, let everything else go, and just be in the moment with this one task.

Let yourself be immersed in this task by letting go of the feeling that you need to quickly rush through it – that you need to move on to the next task waiting for you.

There will always be a next task, because that’s the nature of TO-DO lists – they’re never-ending. So let those later tasks come later. Just be 100% in this one task, like it’s your entire world.

Bottom line:

Slow down. Breathe. Review your commitments and goals. Put first things first. Do one task at a time. Start now. Take a 5-minute break in an hour. Repeat. (And always remember, results are more important than the time it takes to achieve them.)

2. Let go of controlling what can’t be controlled.

Fear is causing you to be stressed, not external factors like your job obligations or family issues. Those external factors are just a part of life, but they become stressful when you fear failure, fear people won’t like you, fear you’re not good enough, fear abandonment, and so forth.

Your fears are based on some fantasy in your head about how things are supposed to be (and you fear that your life may not live up to that fantasy): you have an image in your head that you’re going to be perfect, have people like you, be comfortable all the time, and succeed on all fronts.

These fantasies are a way to feel in control of a world that you don’t actually control, but they’re hurting you by causing fear and stress. Instead, let go of control. Be OK with chaos and uncertainty, and trust that things will work out. You’ll fear less and feel less stress.

3. Accept people just the way they are, and smile.

We get upset with others because they don’t meet our fantasy of how they “should” act. Instead, try accepting them for who they are, and recognize that, like you, they’re imperfect and seeking happiness and struggling with finding it. They’re doing their best. Accept them just the way they are. In most cases it’s impossible to change them anyway (and it’s rude to try). So save yourself from needless stress…

Instead of trying to change others, give them your support today and lead by example.

4. Perform short mindfulness practices.

You don’t have to meditate for 30 minutes to get the benefits of mindfulness…

You can do a quick body scan (focus on your body and notice how each part of it feels right now) in 30 seconds.

You can pay attention to your breath for 60 seconds (listen to it and feel it).

You can watch your thoughts about concerns, fears, judgments, doubts, and ideals for a minute (recognize that these thoughts are simply thoughts; you don’t need to believe them or react to them).

You can walk mindfully, paying attention to your feet, your body, your breath and your surroundings, as you walk.

You can do each of these short mindfulness practices in little bits whenever you need them throughout your day.

5. Purge untrue thoughts.

You must learn a new way to think before you can master a new way to be. Behind every stressful feeling is an untrue thought. Before the thought you weren’t suffering, but after the thought you began to suffer. When you recognize that the thought isn’t true, once again there is no suffering. When you change your thoughts, you change your life. So next time you catch a thought stressing you out, ask yourself these four questions:

Is it true? – This question can change your life. Be still and ask yourself if the thought you’re dealing with is true.

Can I be absolutely, 100% certain that it’s true?

– This is another opportunity to open your mind and to go deeper into the unknown, to find the answers that live beneath what you think you know.

How do I feel when I think this thought?

– With this question, you begin to notice internal cause and effect. You can see that when you believe the thought, there is a disturbance that can range from mild discomfort to outright panic and fear. What do you feel? How do you treat the situation (or person) you’re thinking about, how do you treat yourself, when you believe that thought? Be specific.

Who would I be, and what would I do differently, if I were not thinking this thought? – Imagine yourself in your situation (or in the presence of that person), without believing the thought. How would your life be different if you didn’t have the ability to even think this stressful thought? How would you feel? Which do you prefer – life with or without the thought? Which feels more peacefully

6. Consciously squash the needless comparisons.

Sometimes the reason we struggle with stress and insecurity is because we compare our behind-the-scenes circumstances with everyone else’s public highlight reel. Give it up. Don’t compare your Chapter 1 to someone else’s Chapter 15. Follow your own path, write your own life story, and never give up on yourself.

Next time you catch yourself comparing your life situation to someone else’s, refer to these two formulas:

Happiness formula = Do YOUR very best and feel good about it.

Unhappiness formula = Compare yourself to everyone else.

7. Track what’s going well and give thanks

Overlooking everything that’s wonderful is a tragedy. Do your best and surrender the rest. When you stay stuck in worried thoughts of the life you think you should have, you end up missing the beauty of what you do have. You will have a hard time ever being happy if you aren’t thankful for the good things in your life right now.

Every evening before you go to bed, write down three things that went well during the day and their causes. Simply provide a short, causal explanation for each good thing.

8. Use your body.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, your body is the greatest instrument you own. So when all else fails, and your stress levels are mounting, use your body to sooth your mind.

The mind reflects your body by responding to its levels of tension, rate of breath, speed of movement and mental focus. Likewise your body mirrors your thoughts, feelings, mood, and responds to your state of mind, the questions you ask and the words you speak. So if the mind and body are intrinsically connected – meaning that one has a direct affect on the other – it becomes clear that if we directly and consciously take control of one, it will influence and transform the other.

By mindfully adjusting how you use your body you can directly influence your state of mind, and dramatically transform your attitude. Just imagine you’re sitting there in a bad mood, shoulders hanging forward, shallow breathing and frowning. Go ahead and do this right now to experience how it influences your state of mind. And then do the opposite: stand up straight and put a big smile on your face. Take some deep, strong breaths and stretch your arms into the air.

Notice how you feel better?

Bottom line: Take the vehicle your creator has given you and use it! Your body is the best tool for changing your attitude and relieving stress in an instant.

Closing Thoughts

If you’re still looking to make positive changes after doing the eight things above, I have a few more recommendations:

Eliminate unnecessary tasks on your TO-DO list.

Reduce your commitments by saying “no” when you know you should.

Start a regular 10-minute meditation practice.

Find additional mindfulness practices to try.

Exercise regularly.

Eat healthier.

Spend quality time with loved ones, daily.

Get more sleep.

And remember that most people cope with stress in the easiest, unhealthy ways imaginable – drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, eating sweets, arguing with people, mindlessly watching TV, procrastinating, and so forth.

Ironically, these activities often cause even more stress and mental anguish. So don’t take the easy way out. Instead, use the ideas above to cope without these unhealthy crutches…

Start doing the hard things you know you need to for yourself!

Every. Single. Day.