#chapter 2 has 5 words (2 of which to remind of a scene idea)

[orcelito]

The fascinating thing about my limited planning records for writing is that I will go back to something after months of not thinking about it, & I have to try to parse what I meant through the barest hints of notes recording the different themes of the planned chapters

Ft "bad effects" and "bad effects pt 2", which were nearly all of what I have written for chapters 4 and 5 of Summer Nights lmfao

[back2bluesidex]

Where Do Broken Hearts Go - Chapter 1 (18+)

Pairing: Model, ex-boyfriend!Jungkook X Child psychologist, Fem!Reader X Lawyer, Single Dad!Hoseok. 

Summary: Jungkook stripped your emotions naked, left you bare in the chilly wind of despair and self-doubt with an unending heartache. You tried your hardest to move on from him, to live for yourself but failed miserably. Each night you had to come back to your empty home where memories and broken dreams were scattered all around the floor, until one day a little angel and her unbelievably beautiful father came into your life. Finally, when you find yourself healing, maybe falling too, Jungkook had to show up! Again!

Theme: Angst, pining, heartbreak, break-up, SMUT (MDNI)

Warnings: lots of crying, reader is broken, she is suffering so bad, a flashback explicit sex scene, big-dick Jungkook, kind of size kink, he hits it from behind, shower sex, unprotected sex (wrap it up), creampie, Jung Hoseok enters the scene, he is so attractive that you might faint, subtle and flirty Hoseok, an adorable little girl, Namjoon makes an appearance.

It's not really mentioned but just so you know, Hoseok and reader has a slight age gap like 5 years. (which is not at all an age gap to me because my first boyfriend was 8 years older than me. haha. you didn't just read that.)

Word count: 4.2k

Taglist requests are closed.

Minors and karens are not allowed in this blog

A/N: First chapter is here. I wrote 4k+ words for a single fic and that's unbelievable. Anyway, I hope you guys like it, and I hope it's worth the wait.

Main Masterlist

Chapters:- 

Prologue/Masterpost || Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Chapter 7 - Finale

“Reaching in 10 minutes” 

That’s what Jungkook texted you half an hour ago. 

It’s nothing new. He has always been late to your every date, every plan, every meetup. What is new is the lack of explanations and excuses following his delayed arrivals. He only apologizes and you hardly hear any sincerity in his atonements. 

You sigh, staring out of the huge window of the private cabin. 

Jungkook can’t meet you at your (supposed to be shared) home due to his “privacy” issues. So, you had to reserve this private cabin of an over-expensive continental restaurant. It’s funny how all of these feel so formal. It feels as if you are meeting one of your wealthy clients and not your boyfriend. This is how far Jungkook has drifted from you. 

Your feet bounce on the floor, reminding you that you are indeed very nervous. 

It’s a “leap of faith” situation for you today. If it works out then everything will start afresh, if it doesn’t… you will have to fall and break without having any idea on how to mend yourself. 

“Sorry. I’m late.” Jungkook’s muffled voice rings behind your ear. 

You were so lost in your thoughts, or fear, that you didn’t even hear him entering the cabin. 

He heads towards the seat opposite of yours, without any further greetings, any kiss or even a hug… not even a single glance.

“As if it’s the first time.” you scoff. Jungkook chuckles nervously, removing his mask and snapback. 

“Let’s order something. Heard their soy sauce chicken is a hit-” 

“Y/N, I can’t stay for long. Can you make it quick?” Jungkook cuts off your words. His tone is so curt, so foreign that you doubt if it’s actually him underneath his skin or not. 

“Jungkook… What's wrong? Why are you making things so formal? For fuck’s sake it’s me. Your so-called girlfriend.” Your voice quivers but you scream nonetheless. 

“Y/N! Quit being dramatic and lower your voice. We are not at home.” Jungkook hisses, teeth gritting, eyes narrowing. 

“Home? You mean the apartment you left because your agency said it’s risky to share a space with your girlfriend of three years? The same place you refused to meet at because paparazzi are keeping tabs on you as you are rumored to be dating someone else?” you reply with the same ferocity. 

Jungkook closes his eyes and rubs his face with both of his palms. Taking a sharp inhale, he says, “Can you please tell me why we are here? I don’t think you called me all the way here just so we can fight?”  

You roll your eyes, less in sarcasm, more in an attempt to make your tears disappear.

You sit straight as if being prepared for the sword that is going to pierce through your heart, “Jungkook, do you.. do you love me?” 

Jungkook visibly stiffens. His eyes go wide as if someone has asked him to jump off of the building. You see him collecting himself and clearing his throat only to lie, “O-Of course I do. But suddenly why?” 

Even though you want to believe his words, you know those are as hollow as his eyes and maybe his heart as well. 

“Then..” you pause, reaching for your purse. Pulling out the pitch black velvet box, you look at him. Jungkook’s eyes are wide again, filled with horror and confusion. He probably knows what you are doing and he does not seem to be the least bit happy.  

You stand up from your seat and round the table to reach Jungkook, “don’t you think it’s the high time we get engaged? It’s been three years since we started dating, our families approve of each other and” you pause, being unsure of whether you should say it, “and we have always wanted a future together.” You open the box for him to see, a tight-lipped smile lingers on your face only to punctuate your proposal.

Jungkook looks up at you with his big, doe, mystical eyes and then looks down on the ring you have spent a fortune on. Your heart hammers in your chest, but it is not the flattering kind. Your heart races in a fear that you are not ready to face yet.

Jungkook’s face falls and he looks away from you. He plays with his fingers and avoids any kind of eye contact with you. You stand there like a doll made of steel, staring at him holding the ring. 

“Y/N. This is not- I can’t. I mean, this is so sudden. I am at the peak of my career and I can’t think of getting engaged or married at this point of life.” he runs a hand though his dark hair out of frustration, “Why are you rushing everything like this?” Jungkook’s eyes are still trained on the table, not on you. 

“Because I am afraid, Jungkook. I am afraid you might leave me behind if I don’t try to hold onto you now.” you finally let your tears fall. Uncontrollable sobs leave your mouth. 

Jungkook whips his head towards you and then stands up slowly. He holds you by your arms and opens his mouth to say something, “Y/N. I-”

“But I guess it’s too late now. You were long gone. You were gone far before the day you were seen with her. I should have understood Jungkook. I should have…” you run out of breath but still continue, “now please answer me honestly, you love her. Don’t you?” 

Jungkook starts avoiding your eyes again. His grip on your arms loosens and you somehow know the answer already. 

“I never cheated on you, Y/N. I never lied to you.” He offers with eyes shut tightly. 

“But you never told me the full truth either.” your voice comes out weak. 

Jungkook remains silent for a while and then he continues with a frail voice, “That night. I mean, the photo that went viral, I was sending her back to her hotel. She flew all the way to the States to confess to me.” This is a new revelation to you, since you never really demanded any explanation from him. Honestly, you didn’t have the guts to face the truth. Rather you decided to try one last time. And that is what brings you here, defeated and rejected with a truck load of pain burdening you down. 

“And? What did you say?” you press on, being determined to end your suffering today even if it means you will have to return home with a broken relationship and a broken heart.  

“Nothing.” Jungkook gulps.

“You could not say no because you feel the same and you could not say yes because you still had me, is that right?” You know you awfully sound like you are in a session with one of your patients but you don’t care. You need to get to the root of this unbearable pain and cut it off for once and for all. 

Jungkook nods. Even though his eyes are hidden from yours, you know, those are full of guilt and shame but not a single speck of love and affection for you. 

You close your eyes, let the tears fall unbound, shut the box tight and take two steps back from your soon-to-be ex-boyfriend. 

“I know this is a stupid question but I- I’m just confirming” another sob leaves your mouth unintentionally, “do you want to break up? With me?” 

Jungkook pinches the bridge of his nose. He is probably finding a way to say yes without having to hurt you more than you can bear. 

“Y/N..” he murmurs. This is most likely the last time you are hearing him call you by your name. 

“Jungkook, please, just yes or no.” You take another step away from him.  

“Yes.” Jungkook breathes out. His eyes are still shut tight. 

Even though you knew what his answer would be, it still hurts much more than it did in your imagination. 

You feel as if your head is underwater, you can’t breathe, can’t fight, can’t scream. You need to be saved but the person you want to reach out to is the same person who pushed you into this unfathomable water. 

Your vision gets blurry with tears again, you can’t see Jungkook anymore. And you guess it’s better that way. 

“Okay. That's all I think. That’s all for our three years of history. I hope you lead a happier life from now on. Goodbye….. Jungkook.” and with that you left without waiting for him to say anything. You left him and a part of yourself with him. 

You are again sitting at your dining table, holding your phone tightly in your hand. You are again re-reading a headline just like you did a month and two days ago. You are again trying not to cry but you are failing miserably. 

“Calvin Kline fame Jeon Jungkook confirms the rumors by kissing rumored girlfriend actress Han Jiwon at a club downtown - The agency is yet to provide a statement.” 

It's cruel, how you have to wake up exactly at 7 in the morning despite crying for the better part of the night. 

It's even more cruel, how your vacation application (which you have been pursuing for more than a week now) was declined harshly because there's a "priority client" and you, arguably the most competent child psychologist of the clinic, have to take over the case. 

You reach for your phone and turn off the alarm. 

Opening your eyes, you stare at the ceiling blankly. It's been two weeks since you last saw Jungkook at the restaurant. It's been two weeks since your relationship came to an end. And it's been four months since you are sleeping on your own but you still crave for his warmth beside you. 

Love can be a funny thing. At one moment it's fulfilling you, injecting your heart with a sickening sweetness and at another one it's ripping off your urge to continue living, it's stuffing you with insecurity and self doubts that you hardly knew the existence of. 

You wonder what Jungkook is doing now. Is he sleeping by himself or is he waking up beside Jiwon? Is he kissing her shoulders softly like he used to do to you or is he hovering above her, spreading her legs and inserting his large shaft inside. 

Your thoughts are shaken off with the vibrating sound of your phone. 

It's Miseon. The receptionist of The Mindscope ( the clinic you work for) and probably the only person you can call a friend in this entire world. 

"Morning." You greet.

"Hey. Heard that your application was declined?" Miseon chrips from the other side of the line. 

"Yeah. For some priority clients. Kim asshole Namjoon will be deep-fried in burning oil in a giant ass frying pan in hell." You grumble.

"So you are coming back to work today I guess." 

"Yes I have to."

"Will you be okay tho?" You can hear concern in your friend's voice. She's the only person apart from your family to know about your and Jungkook's relationship. So, she called you immediately after seeing the tabloids twelve days ago. You cried on her shoulder when she visited you. 

"Yeah. I guess. I have to start doing the actual work anyway. My eyes are in pain for the prolonged hours I spent staring at Microsoft Word for these two weeks. Ugh. Now I hate documentation even more." 

Miseon chuckles, “Okay, see you at the clinic then.” 

“Yeah. see you.” 

You drag yourself out of the bed and head towards the washroom. If this is a new start, then you better accept it. 

As soon as the warm soothing water touches your body, memories come rushing back, flooding your mind with despair in the process. 

“Jungkook… I’m gonna get late” you whine, head tilting back with pleasure. 

Jungkook’s hand snakes around your waist, fingers reach for your sensitive bundle of nerves. 

“Five minutes won’t hurt, baby.” he whispers in your ear as his index and middle finger draw slow circles on your wet clit. 

His other hand teases one of your wet nipples, twisting and tugging it as harshly as he wants. 

A pool of slick gushes out of your hole making jungkook groan at the feeling. He dips his middle finger in your hole and collects some of your wetness, he then uses that to rub more smooth circles on your clit. 

You choke on thin air, moaning his name again and again you start to roll your hip on his naked cock. 

His giant cock fits perfectly along your ass crack, as if it was made to fit inside you. 

You roll your hips harder to elicit a reaction from your boyfriend. 

“Such a dirty girl, huh? All for me.” Jungkook’s husky voice pierce through your sober mind and you find yourself dazed with love and pleasure. 

Jungkook increases the pace of his fingers and you get more and more wet each passing second. 

“Kook.. I- I need you.” you manage to breathe out. 

“Don’t be vague, Y/N. Tell me what you exactly need.” Jungkook replies smugly. 

“I need your giant cock to ruin my pussy, daddy.” you reply, squeezing the tit that has been deprived of your boyfriend’s attention.

“Whatever my baby says.” and with that jungkook slips inside you in one go. You barely get any chance to adjust because he starts moving right away. 

He fucks you slow. His fingers never stop teasing your clit and soon you two reach your climax. He fills you with his cum and you coat his cock with yours. 

“Let’s get cleaned now, hm?” Jungkook places a kiss on your shoulder as he turns on the shower. 

Your back slides down the shower wall. You shake violently as loud sobs leave your throat one after another. 

“You are so cruel, Jungkook. You are so fucking cruel.” you scream. Your throat hurts but your heart hurts even more. 

You should have read the signs. When he kept on talking about Jiwon, aka his new friend from the agency, you should have perceived that shine in his eyes. 

You should have confronted him more when he said he would have a drink with her after his shoot. 

You should have asked his whereabouts when he ignored your calls and texts because he visited her in one of her drama sets. 

You should have done a lot of things but most importantly, you should have loved him a little less and loved yourself a little more. 

Counselee Information: - Name: Jung Sua Age: 7 (seven) Gender: Female (F) Guardian: Jung Hoseok  Relationship with the guardian: Father of the counselee  Reasons behind seeking help:  1. Changes in behavior  2. Quieter and more reserved than before 3. Frequent nightmares  4. Mild panic attacks 

“So, what do you think?” Namjoon questions, leaning on the plush chair, placed at the end of your table. 

“Nothing complicated. You could have handled it yourself. There was absolutely no need of rejecting my vacation applications again and again.” you spat, being very unimpressed with the dimpled smirk on your boss’ face. 

“Oh my god. What’s wrong?” he dramatically leans forward. Placing a hand on his chest, Namjoon continues, “I thought you will be in a better mood after two weeks of work from home. But you seem even more annoyed than before.” 

“For your information, I asked for a damn holiday not work from home aka  prolonged hours of documentation. I really need some time off, Namjoon. I am not kidding.” Your voice sounds so defeated that Namjoon has to sit straight. 

A serious expression takes over his features as he replies, “I know, Y/N. You are definitely not the type to take leaves for fun. But I am helpless here. The client has asked for you personally. He has done his own research and concluded that you can help his daughter better than everyone else in this clinic. I could not do anything.” 

You nod understanding his point of view. 

You are always more than ready to help these little, innocent souls out. It pains you to see these babies experiencing something as horrific as panic attacks. 

But this time you need therapy more than anyone else under your radar. Even though your exterior doesn’t show the unbearable pain your interior is going through, you still need some solace. You are really unwilling to work at this moment and you doubt if you can help anyone else when you are not mentally fit yourself.  

But you hardly have a choice. And maybe, just maybe, you will get a chance of distracting yourself from Jungkook's thoughts. Maybe you will be able to take a breather. Maybe you will heal in the process. Maybe? 

“The appointment is at 11 am, right?” You ask the man sitting right in front of you.

“Yes,” he answers. 

“It’s 10:49 already. Get out and let me prepare myself.” you mutter, closing your eyes and leaning back on your chair. 

“Okay okay. Don’t be so aggressive.” Namjoon chuckles before leaving you alone in the cabin. 

You go through Jung Sua's records once more to verify if there's a health condition you should be aware of. But there isn't anything. 

Just when you close the file, a knock rings on the cabin door. 

You sit straight. Ready to welcome a new friend. 

Yuna, your assistant, knocks once more before pushing the door slowly. She walks in first and then holds the door open for the guests. 

And the cutest seven years old, you have ever seen, walks inside. She's so small that she can be easily mistaken for a five year old. Her chubby cheeks and immaculately done pigtails makes her look like a doll. 

You almost coo at the sight. 

Even though you mostly work with kids, for the past year you were working with only teenagers. It's been long since you had the pleasure to serve yourself for a kid less than ten years old, let alone a seven year one. 

"Hello there, Miss Sua. How are you doing?" You say in a jovial voice, trudging towards the baby. 

Sua tenses a bit and looks behind her, looking for shelter from her father. He stands right behind Sua, offering her to hold one of his hands. Sua takes that readily.

You come forward and sit on your knees to maintain an eye level with your new friend. 

"Don't worry. I'm your new friend. My name is Y/N." You offer her your hand. She hesitates a bit and then looks at her father for confirmation.

You follow her cue and tilt your head up to take a look at the father of your counselee.

Only if you weren't the embodiment of damsel of distress these days, you could very well have a love at first sight. 

The man flaunts a pair of incredibly beautiful yet intimidating eyes, a chiseled jaw that can cut you into pieces, perfectly styled dark hair that falls on his face, and a pair of heart shaped lips which enhances the overall beauty of his face. The fitted dress pants and the black dress shirt give hints of the lithe, well-structured body that lies inside. 

He smiles at you, you do the same. And then you feel a softer, smaller hand wrapping up your fingertips lightly. 

Her cuteness makes you giggle. 

You stand up, taking her hand on yours, you start walking towards a cozier corner of your cabin, where you usually counsel kids. Her father follows you closely behind. 

There's a small and round glass table along with three chairs. One is meant for you and two others are meant for the counselees and their guardians. 

You turn towards Sua’s father. Smiling a little and you say “You need to take the seat first, so that she can be assured it is safe here.” 

“Sure” he replies. His voice is smooth and light, a contrast to his dark and manly features. 

He sits down on the bigger chair and pats on the smaller one, “come on Sua, com ‘ere.” 

Sua leaves your hand and wiggles towards her dad. She easily plops down on her seat. 

“Yuna, can you prepare the game room please?” You ask your assistant.

“Sure, Y/N” She says before closing the door as you get comfortable in your own chair. 

Sua regards you with her big, round doe eyes. She looks at you so intensely as if you have grown two horns in your head. 

You chuckle a bit, “Sua, don’t you like your new friend? Don’t you like me?” 

Sua stays silent. 

“Sua is very friendly. I am sure she will like Y/N very soon. Isn’t it, baby?” Sua’s father chimes in, squeezing one of her little hands with his bigger, rougher ones. 

You are so accustomed to your patients and their guardians to address you as “doctor”, that you had to take a moment after your name rolled out of Mr. Jung’s mouth. 

The change is welcomed anyway. 

You divert your eyes from Sua to him, only to find him smiling at you warmly. You mirror his smile. His smile is so damn gorgeous that you can’t help but feel contaminated with it. 

“Sua, what do you like to play the most?” you focus on Sua again.

“Mario kart” she replies briefly, staring down at her feet. 

“Okay. That's a great game. But what would you like to play outside? For example with your classmates during lunchtime?” You place your next question. 

“My classmates don’t play with me.” She was quick with her answer. 

Your smile drops instantly and you already start mapping out all the possible sources of the issues she is facing. 

Nodding to yourself in understanding, you proceed, “Okay, let’s not talk about games anymore. You tell me what you like more, oranges or mangoes?”

“Mangoes.” she replies. 

“Okay” standing up from your seat, you walk towards your table and call Yuna. She comes within a few seconds. 

You instruct her to take Sua to the game room and treat her to some delicious mango juice. Even though Sua hesitates for a bit, her father’s encouragement works really well. 

As soon as Sua leaves the room, you find yourself quite nervous under the intimidating gaze of Mr. Jung. 

This setting is nothing new. You have been into one-on-one conversations with your counselees’ parents for more times than you can count. But none of them were as young and attractive as Mr. Jung. 

You inhale a long breath before continuing, “so, Mr. Jung, since when did you start noticing these changes in Sua?” 

“Almost a month ago. I can’t pinpoint an exact date but she has gradually become very quiet over this last month. She used to be very chatty. She used to tell me every little thing in detail about her day, her friends, what she had for lunch, what colors she used in drawings and so on. Now-a-days her answers have become vague and insignificant.” Mr. Jung sighs.

“Hmm. and the nightmares?” you ask, scribbling on the ipad. 

“Around the same time. She woke up at 2 in the morning, ran to my room crying and breathing heavily. She didn’t tell me what it was about but kept on saying she was afraid. The same thing happened two more times.” He completes. 

“Umm. The next question might be a little personal but the information is required for future counsellings. I ask for your understanding.” you sit straight. He nods. 

“You said she came running to you when she had nightmares. Hence, I assume you were alone in the room. What about Sua’s mother?” 

“I am a single dad, Doctor. Sua’s mother and I were in a casual relationship when she conceived with Sua unexpectedly. Both of us were just starting our careers so it was tough for us to think of getting married. On the top of that we didn’t like each other enough to proceed with that option. So, we decided to co-parent. But…” he pauses, takes in a long breath and then continues, “she disappeared after giving birth. She left a note behind as an apology, saying that she is not ready to be a mother, asking me not to contact her anymore. My mother and sister helped me in raising Sua so beautifully. They are the only ones to become something close to a mother figure for her. That’s all.” 

You feel something warm flooding in your chest. You don’t know what it is, it can be respect, can be sympathy, can be even admiration for this man who you don’t even know properly. 

A genuine smile takes over your face as you mutter, “You have done a great job Mr. Jung. You have raised a beautiful daughter all by yourself. You have worked hard.” 

Mr, Jung’s dark eyes flood with some emotions you can’t quite name. He stares at you intensely, so much so that you feel he is reading you inside out. You can’t help but stare back at him. 

“Call me Hoseok. So that I can call you by your name too. Is that okay, Y/N?” his voice is deeper than earlier, his smile is lopsided, more like a smirk. 

You find yourself easily smiling along with him, something that has been quite tough for you to do for the past few months. 

“Sure. Hoseok.” Your reply comes out without any further thought.   

Taglist:-

@phenomenalgirl9 @variety-is-the-joy-of-life @soraviie @sukunabitch @chimchimmarie @coffeedepressionsoup @meowstake @vonvi-blog @nochuel @xjoonchildx @justmewondering-recs @cuteipat @miakey98 @purpleanchorcrown @chimmisbae @ane102 @junniesoleilkth @terjeonbebas @kookssecret @appleh4ad @kayleeshinee @whoa-jo

[rorywritesjunk]

Let’s be one another’s present tense

Buggy ‘rescues’ you from an abusive situation, and after a less than stellar introduction, he has you audition for his crew to keep you safe. You want safety, security, and joining a circus seems like the best idea.

Rating: Soft NC-17 for this chapter. Warning: Communication is a THING. These two are trying. Buggy is mopey. They're working on it, okay. Talks of sex, some touching happens, Cupcake needs her man. A/N: Still dealing with relationship stuff.

Title comes from “Crater Lake” by Lady Lamb

Chapter 1 + Chapter 2 + Chapter 3 + Chapter 4 + Chapter 5 + Chapter 6 + Chapter 7 + Chapter 8 + Chapter 9 (NC-17) + Chapter 10 + Chapter 11 + Chapter 12 + Chapter 13 TAGLIST: @lostfirefly @neuvilleteismybby @fluffybunnyu @sinning-23 @the-angriest-angel @ane5e @fanshavegottensotoxic @honey-deerling

Chapter 13

The two of you took a ‘break’ from what you had been up to for a month, instead going back to more simple sex. Buggy still thought writing up scripts was the way to go, but you were neutral on the idea. While you understood where he was coming from as it was to make you more comfortable, it felt like maybe some of the fun and spontaneity was taken out of it, which you told him when he brought it up again one night, leading to an argument.

“It’s for your benefit!” He insisted as he held out the blank sheets of paper to you. “I don't want you upset again!”

“Buggy, I appreciate it but I don't think it's going to work!” You told him from your spot on the bed, refusing to take the stack from him. “Why does it have to be a script? Why can't we just write out some things that are not okay to say?”

“Becaaaaause!” He whined pitifully. “What if I upset you again? Baby, I don't want to make you cry!”

“If we talk things out we’ll be okay.” You sighed as he pouted at you. He looked silly, face still full of makeup, hair pulled back in his bandana, lips pouty as he looked down at you with the papers in his hand. He kept trying to get you to take it from him, which you knew if you did it meant the possibility of him wanting to write out extravagant scenes of sex that could either be incredibly cringy or incredibly arousing, you weren't sure.

“Okay, okay, here's my suggestion.” You finally said. “We can try it once and if it ends up working then great, but if it doesn't we don't do it. How does that sound, babe?”

Buggy stopped pouting long enough to think it over. He could win you over with the idea, he just had to make sure the first time was perfect. He didn't want to be the reason you cried.

“Okay, fine.” He agreed. “I'm going to write the most mind blowing sex scene for us, babe. You will be begging me to fuck you.”

“I kinda already do, Buggy.” You reminded him. “Frequently, I might add.”

~

You knew Buggy had focus when he wanted it and right now he was the most focused you'd ever seen him since meeting him and you were the center of it. He was laying on the bed on his stomach, kicking his feet as he stared at you with a stack of paper in front of him, scribbles, words, things crossed out were scattered across them as he chewed on the end of his pencil while you sat back against the headboard knitting a hat. It was evening, the two of you dressed down for the night with him in boxers and you wearing one of his shirts to sleep in. It wasn't worth sleeping naked in case either of you had to get up in the middle of the night for an emergency.

“Might as well illustrate what you wanna do, babe, since you've been staring at me for so long.” You said, not looking up from your project. “ What are you planning in that head of yours?”

“Oh, you'll find out.” He grinned, reaching over with the pencil to tap you on the foot lightly. “You'll love it.”

You glanced over at him, nudging his arm with your foot gently. He grabbed it and kissed the top of it before he returned to his papers.

“You like me being fearsome, so I gotta make sure I'm like that for you.” Buggy said as he wrote some things down. “And I love what you do for me, y’know, all that shit you say. The filth that comes out of your pretty mouth is so surprising, babe.”

“Aw, well, I'm glad I can surprise you.” You grinned, setting the knitting aside before stretching out on the bed in front of him, laying on your side as you propped your head up on your hand. “So, what do you have so far, Buggy?”

He looked at you, down at the scribbled pages, then back at you. “Nothing… yet! Art takes time, babe, you can't rush the process!’

“Okay, okay.” You chuckled softly. “Just let me know what you need.”

Buggy shrugged as he looked back down at his papers. He just wanted it to be perfect. He didn't want to see you upset like that again. He didn't mean to upset you that day; a month had passed but it felt like yesterday. He was determined to make sure you two could still continue what you had been doing but without anyone feeling put out. With a sigh he wrote some things down again before tapping the pencil against the paper.

“Would it help if you said out loud what you wanted to write?” You suggested. “I won't say anything, I'll just listen.”

He shrugged again, crossing something out again as he mumbled, “I just want it to be perfect.”

“Babe, I love you and I'll love whatever you write out, okay?” You assured him. “It's not like we’re going to have an audience, y’know, so don't worry.”

“Still.” He frowned and crossed his arms in front of him, resting his head on them. “Just want it to be perfect.”

You sighed and reached over to run your fingers through his hair gently. This was something you had been worried about, that he would stress about it more than he needed to. You got up and crawled over to him, pushing him onto his back before settling on his thighs. He looked up at you curiously, his hands moving to rest on your thighs as you placed your hands on top of his.

“Here's the thing, babe. I love when you fuck me.” You started to tell him as your fingers laced with his as you looked down at him. “You are sweet, gentle, and caring and I love that about you. And I also love it when you're rough and when you tell me all the things you'd do to me if only we had time.” You grinned down at him. You always loved seeing him under you. “Y’know, about making sure I can't walk for a few days, how you'd fuck me ‘til I'm seein’ stars and your name is the only one I'd know after you're done wrecking me.”

“Fuck, Cupcake-”

“Yes?” You pulled your hand free from his and reached down to touch his cheek. “I can stop if you want. Just let me know, okay?”

“Mm, no, no, it's fine, just…” He turned his head to kiss your palm softly. “Give me a sec, babe.”

You nodded, stroking his cheek softly as you moved your other hand to his chest, sliding your palm over his chest slowly, running your fingers through his chest hair, occasionally tugging at some of it. 

“I love you, Buggy.” You murmured as he nodded, taking a deep breath before he sat up suddenly, arm wrapping behind your back to keep you from losing your balance from his movements. Your hands went to his shoulders, steadying yourself as he pulled you in for a kiss.

“You fuckin’ better.” He growled, catching you by surprise. He grinned, keeping you close as you stared at him. “Aw, babe, did I startle you? You thought you had me all relaxed and cozy under you, thinking you were in charge.” 

“Yea, um-”

“Shh, shh, don't talk, baby.” He murmured, tightening his hold on you as his free hand moved between your bodies and between your legs. “This is okay, yea? Tell me this is okay.”

“You um, just told me not to talk, Buggy.” You assured him, digging your nails into his shoulders as his fingers dipped between your folds. You had opted not to wear underwear, just out of laziness, and you were glad you didn't. “But, um, this is okay, really.”

“Good.” Buggy grinned as he touched you, teasing you just enough that you were squirming in his lap. “What should I do to you, hm? Keep touching you like this, or should I watch you fuck yourself on my cock while I sit back and watch?”

“Oh fuck.” Honestly, you didn't care. He was touching you so carefully, fingers circling your clit, brushing over your entrance, the gentlest of touches, when really you just wanted him to get to fucking you. You let your head drop onto his shoulder, letting out a pitiful whine before he was tutting and shaking his head.

“No, no, I need to see your gorgeous face.” He scolded gently. “Cupcake, baby, do I need to back you into a corner to get you to look at me?”

“Gimme a second, Buggy!” You huffed at him, digging your nails into his skin as he pressed his finger in slowly. “J-Jus’ wasn’t expectin’ this.”

He grinned, his hand still while you took a deep breath. You didn’t anticipate this happening, but you weren’t complaining. You just wanted him to relax, to stop worrying about every little thing, and if him taking charge like this and teasing you until you wanted to scream then fine, you could cope with him slowly pushing his finger in, barely to the second knuckle, whispering to you how much he loved you, that you meant the world to him, that he was going to fuck you slow tonight, take his time for sure until you were a mess underneath him.

And he did pull his hand back to flip you onto your back, looking down at you. Buggy had no filter. He couldn’t stop himself as he looked at you, wearing his shirt, spreading your legs for him. He suddenly blurted out, “Will you marry me?”

That was not what you were expecting to hear.

[sawrinwrites]

March Content Plans (Long Update)

As it is now the 25th here in frosty England, it has officially been 2 months since I published my first piece of fan fiction. In that time, I've released:

A one-shot containing my first ever attempt at both monster smut and an explicit F/F sex scene (which is currently my most popular work????)

A low angst (I know, I can't believe it either) romantic one-shot from the POV of a golden retriever

4 chapters of an emotionally intense story that is so far from my usual writing style I have to re-read earlier chapters to remind myself how to write it (a deliberate stylistic choice but boy, am I paying for it)

3 chapters of what was meant to be a fun side project and is quickly turning into something deep and dark and wonderful in its own right

All in all, that's 4 bodies of work spanning 57.7k words released over a period of 9 weeks (not including the 15-20k which got rewritten / replaced / outright cut). Which is, for me, insane. It's also a pace that I won't be able to maintain going forward, so for the sake of setting expectations (my own, more than anyone else's), here's the current plan for March:

The Monsters At My Side And In My Shadow Ch 1-3 update Given that this has gone from "werewolf smut hiding in a multi-chapter fic" to "multi-fic exploration of abuse with a healthy dollop of smut", I want to revise what's already been released to better align with what I have going forward. There won't be any plot / event changes, scenes that get altered will be getting either an expansion or a rewrite, depending on the work needed (which will include adding more smut-adjacent content because it's currently lacking and I want it to be better).

Untitled - An Ember POV Story to Celebrate 1yr Since The Bees Kissed (March 25th) @reeves3 put the idea in my head and now I have a collection of outlines covering various points in Yang and Blake's relationship all told from the perspective of the Best Girl. They won't come out in chronological order as I'm looking to line them up with various events, but the current plan is that March 25th will cover the introduction of a new member into the Xiao Long-Belladonna pack.

Additionally, I'd like to release the following chapters but I am forcing myself to accept that these will likely get bumped to April:

The Monsters At My Side And In My Shadow Ch 4

Shattered Divinity Ch 5

There's a few reasons for the (temporary) slowdown in content:

I am supposed to draft 1 - 3 OC novels this year (the mistake of mixing alcohol with an empty resolutions boards and the word "bet") and I need to dedicate more time than I have done to those projects to have any hope of doing that.

Rather than wait for the fan fic writer's curse to hit, I've gone and done it to myself by buying my first house. The offer got accepted yesterday, so now I have to deal with the joys of legal and financial paperwork. And start prepping for a move. And every other stressful time consuming thing that comes from this period. Don't get me wrong, I am fucking ecstatic, not least because it means me having an actual bedroom for the first time in almost 4 years, but the next steps are going to take a chunk out of my usual writing time.

@kaelidascope is about to drop a veritable feast of content. Look, I'm not subtle about how much I enjoy her work. She's my favourite fan fic writer. She's probably one of my favourite writers period on account of the emotional damage and veritable joy Mightnight Menagerie has brought me. And I'm not just saying this because she's been exceptionally complimentary of my own work (which, by the way, I am still freaking out over). She is one of the main reasons I started writing fan fiction. If it wasn't for the original Beestfic, I'd never have written The Hunt. Which means I'd never have had the concept ideas that initially led to starting The Monsters At My Side And In My Shadow, and without that fic, I wouldn't have had the 3 experimental scenes between Yang and her grimm which ended up inspiring the idea to write Best Laid Plans from Ember's POV. So I will be setting aside some time (translation: every waking moment I have during release weekend) to thoroughly immerse myself in the relaunch. Also there's two Menagerie chapters due and the previews are already threatening my analytics brain and unfortunately it takes time to launch that kind of assault on AO3's comment section.

So yeah. A few things going on in March. I'm gonna try and do this as a rolling monthly thing going forward in lieu of trying to have a timed release schedule. Hopefully the April one will be a bit lot shorter.

[morningstargirl666]

I just finished reading through The Big Bad Wolf and have loved it. I can’t wait for more!! Any updates or news?

Hi! So happy to hear you loved it! ❤️✨

I'm currently in the process of editing/rewriting TBBW right now! I've also outlined chapter 36 and started writing some of the dialogue, but I'm hesitant to start writing it in its entirety because I feel like I'm going to end up changing a lot of TBBW and want it all up to date before I fully commit my attention to the next chapter. I'm not changing anything plot-line wise, but I am making tweaks to the lore, character development, etc. It's still the same story, but now that the first 35 chapters are written, I find I'm going back and adding bits that you'd normally see in 'filler' episodes. Anything and everything that develops characters, relationships or lore - or even just there simply because I find it fun and enjoyable. I keep reminding myself that writing these first 35 chapters was me stuffing sand into buckets and now, with time to edit, I can finally make the sandcastles: carve turrets and staircases, mount flags and add seashells, adding every scrap of detail that will ultimately make this story come alive.

For example, chapter 5 on its own, has 6.5K of entirely NEW unseen content added to it so far (it's not posted yet, nor are any other edits for TBBW, so don't get too excited). And that's not counting the scene between Sam and Kiera on the phone, which has been re-written completely for the most part. There is also at least one more new scene I still want to write. If the chapter gets too long, it might mean splitting it in two and re-organising the chapters again, like I did for chapter 11 and 12 a while ago when I edited them.

Chapter 5, I hope, is an outlier and most chapters won't have as much done to them. Chapter 1 is edited and finished, yet its mostly the same except for grammar corrections. Though Chapter 2 has a deeper insight into Klaus' mindset - particularly his pure dislike for doppelgangers - purely because it's fun for me, as well as highlighting the development of his character between The Little Wolf and the start of TBBW. There's also going to be an extra canon forwood scene at the end of that chapter, as I want to develop them more, in preparation for when I destroy the relationship in the future chapters after 35. But who nows - all the chapters centered around the Mikaelson Ball I'm eyeing hungrily, my mind whizzing with a few ideas on how I might expand on them a little bit. I also want to focus more on the hybrids, which until now I've kinda ignored.

I know it may be a little disappointing, to hear the next chapter update is a long way off yet. But I don't want to rush this. I want to savour it, every single second. And who knows, by the time you get chapter 36, you won't just be getting a 20k chapter - you'll be getting a 50k bonus update of brand new content as well, sprinkled throughout the first 35 chapters. The word count is going to be over 400k by the time I update the next chapter, probably closer to 450k, I'm almost sure of it.

I can't promise when the next chapter will arrive, but I can promise this:

It will be worth the wait.

[nottawriter]

20 Questions More

This is a deeper and more detailed version of the 20 questions for AO3 fanfic writers. Thanks to @casualsavant for the tag.

1) How do you keep getting ideas for your ship / fandom? Supercorp brainrot… I see a picture or meme or video, I watch a movie or read a synopsis, I hear a song and it reminds me of them. They are ever present in my mind. I cannot escape (nor do I want to) and therefore, you cannot escape :chaos laugh:

2) Which authors inspire you in your fandom, and why are they so freakishly good? There are sooo many super talented people in the Supercorp fandom. I’m constantly impressed and overwhelmed with the volume of amazing content. There are the fandom favs: @lostariels, @jazzfordshire, @searidings, @lynnearlington, @coffeeshib, @mycatismyeditor, @lgbtimelords and @melui-the-bookworm, and there are personal favs: @snowydragonscave, @fazedlight, @casualsavant, @luthordamnvers, @gveret-fic, @briefunknowntrash, @cantdrawshaw, @karalovesallthegirls, @vox-ex, Veritas33 (AO3), @writershapeholeonthedoor… Sooo much talent. I just want to read all the time!

3) Aside from the characters of your main ship, who are the characters you love to write? I love all the side characters. I think the relationships in Supergirl are what make Kara and Lena so great and relatable. After Kara and Lena, I think I’m most comfortable writing Alex, but I enjoy writing almost everyone. My WHBL series is an ensemble-cast style story that is primarily Lena pov, but has other povs throughout.

4) Are there pairings or tropes you know for sure you’d never write about? Which ones? I’m not a fan of writing Kara or Lena outside of Supercorp unless in reference to their past relationships. I’m not sure if I would rule any specific trope out completely

5) What is your writing process and why is it cursed? Sav’s answer for this one is pretty relatable lol but uh… I typically put notes in my phone if I don’t have paper/pen handy. I use Excel to plot out timelines and chapters. I like to use color to show what I still need to write versus what’s done or what’s uncertain. I use a simple Word doc and typically write in story order, though if I write a scene I like, but don’t like it’s placement, I’ll cut it out and save it separately for potentially using later or in a different fic. I struggle with writer’s block, anxiety, guilty, sooo much uncertainty. It’s stressful and sometimes overwhelming… But I’m still here, so I suppose getting the story out into the world is all worth it in the end.

6) What is your favorite part of your writing process? I enjoy the research, having something completed and ready to post (if not the anxiety of actually posting), and I enjoy reading the comments

7) What’s the weirdest thing you’ve had to research for a fic? Um, probably sniper rifle stuff

8) Is there a particular writing rule you struggle with (grammar, spelling, tense, reality in general)? I catch myself switching tense all the time. I try to catch it all in editing, but don’t always succeed.

9) What was your hardest scene to write so far and why? Pretty much all of Evermore because it’s Kara’s dreamscape with mixed references to Wizard of Oz and Edgar Allen Poe’s The Raven combined with The Adjudicator’s last scene. I think it actually came out well, but it’s really different and specific, so it’s gotten low interaction.

10) Have your characters ever done something you didn’t expect, changing your plot completely? 100%

11) If you could converse with any of the characters, who would it be and why? I would be in awe to meet Kara or Lena. They’re iconic and these huge symbols for so many feelings and thoughts I’ve tried to convey, but they’re also very relatable characters who’ve suffered through much. I hope I do them justice with my writing. I know others do it so much better... I would also love to meet Melissa or Katie. I hope they know how many lives they've impacted for the better.

12) What are some of the tropes or themes that you find yourself returning to in your writing? Originally, I wrote a lot of mental health themes and hurt/comfort, currently it’s fluff and smut or rom-com. I guess it depends a lot on what emotional headspace I’m in and capable of conveying. Almost always there’s some angst, but I gotta have a happy ending. Whether I’m reading or writing. A happy ending always.

13) What’s your most important resource as a writer? Talking with other writers! I’ve been so thankful to meet so many great ones this year <3

14) Can you share some of your strategies for editing and revising your work? I do many rereads, before and after I post. I will go back and reread before I add more to a story as well, esp if it’s been a while since I wrote for it. I’ve also gotten someone else to read over fics from time to time.

15) Which is worse: making the summary, picking the tags, or the anxiety when you post your fic? All of that gives me anxiety lol

16) How do you define success for your fanfic - hits? Kudos? Comments? Bookmarks? Or just if you like it? I try really hard not to define “success” when it comes to my writing. You never know what other people are going to like or connect with. First and foremost, I write for me. Secondly, I write for the enjoyment of others. I like to see kudos, but ultimately it’s the comments that are most encouraging. Seeing even just 1 person connect with a story that I wrote… there’s no feeling like that.

17) Do you have a playlist for your favorite character / ship? I don’t, but there are songs or artists I associate with the characters, esp Supercorp- Taylor Swift, Hozier, Lord Huron… Not the question, but there’s a video edit by @talconnect with Running with the Wolves that fits perfectly for Kara. https://twitter.com/TalArtM/status/1658567350046674967 I love it.

18) If fan art was going to be made from your work, which fic would you pick and which fan artist would you like to create it? I recently commissioned a piece for one scene in I Believe in a Thing Called Love and there are a couple of other scenes in that one that I would have done. Really, I would appreciate any scene though. It would be an honor to have someone chose one of my works for something like that and I would be stoked to see any of it.

19) How many WIPs do you currently have? Active WIPs: 4 (What Has Been Lost, Wouldn’t It Be Nice, I Believe in a Thing Called Love, and Tis the Damn Season); Mayhem WIP idea to be started soon. A few others always percolating

20) What’s your advice to new fanfic writers? I had no idea what I was doing or that I even wanted to write when I started. You can’t improve until you try. You can’t learn until you make mistakes. Just try. I’ll keep Sav’s advice as well: Write for yourself. Write what you’d want to see. You’ll get better at it over time.

My fics: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notta_Writer/works Tagging but no pressure: @itsalliebitheway @jetgirl1832 @flyingpotstickers @sneezewizard

[thirdeyeblue]

20 Questions Game

Thanks for tagging me, @bronzeagepizzeria & @quite-right-too 🤩

How many works do you have on AO3?

28

2. What's your total AO3 words count?

892,591

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Doctor Who

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Bloodstream (Ten x Rose multi-chap)

Tiny Lights Below (Ten x Rose - Tentoo x Rose OT3)

For All We're Worth (Ten x Rose multi-chap)

Mending (Ten x Rose multi-chap)

The Doctor's Brilliant Idea (Ten x Rose multi-chap)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Always always always, but I have a horrible habit of getting behind on replying to them - usually because I'm busy when I get a comment and consistently forget to come back... Then suddenly there's a ton of them. This is a reminder to sit down and tackle my neglected comments, so thanks, thing.

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Ordinary Gifts for sure.

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

I meannnn, all of my fics have at least mostly happy endings, as I'm a baby. But I'd probably say Bloodstream - just considering the odds that have to be overcome to get there.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Never had until my goddamn Martha fic. But thankfully, the hate was on the latter pairing, not my writing. That's the only solace I took from that (along with some badass readers who defended me to a handful of lunatics).

9. Do you write smut? If so what kind?

I write all of the smut! Lengthy, graphic, emotional 'first time' scenes, as well as all subsequent smut. I have a very, very difficult time skipping over sex (have only done it once to date, and intend to write a separate fic to cover the smut I skipped 💀) and will never skip the first time.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written?

No, never have.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Nope, thank god.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Somebody translated Bloodstream into Russian, which was fucking cool.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I'm doing it right now with @bronzeagepizzeria and my excitement knows no bounds.

14. What's your all-time favourite ship?

TenRose/TentooRose, of course.

15. What's a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Had an idea for a fic inspired by To Have and Not Hold by mtemplar, but have never opened the lil WIP again, and that was over a year ago.

16. What are your writing strengths?

Smut?

Also, not sure if this counts - but I'm a perfectionist about my writing. I'm constantly, obsessively rereading, which I do both as I go and when everything is finished. Making alterations, amending this or that, punching up, rewriting/removing whole scenes etc... But I still, of course, make some mistakes here and there.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I write way too goddamn much. Way too much positive reinforcement in the comments of my first fic gave me a weird perma-complex where I don't even feel like a chapter is complete until it's around 10k, which is insane. Somebody save me. This is a serious problem.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I personally don't do it - I'd rather allude to it. For example, from my fic Exposure, since I guess I'm just going all in with this goddamn questionnaire:

He murmurs something soft, something gorgeous, but Rose has got no idea what it is— only that it's far too structured to be sleepy gibberish. There's an almost-Italian-but-also-sort-of-Arabic resonance to it, yet entirely unique; something she can't even pretend to know how to accurately describe. 

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The first actual fic I ever wrote was for the Russian girl group t.A.T.u in either 2003 or 2004, but I wrote it at school during 'reading time' in Language Arts. It never saw the light of day anywhere.

The first proper fic I actually wrote, finished, and posted completely was for my first feral fixation ship, Inu/Kag (Inuyasha) back in 2005.

20. Favourite fic you've ever written?

I fucking hate this question, but probably For All We're Worth or The Purpose of Repose

Tagging: @demdifferentstories @badxwolfxrising @mulderscully @aintfraidanoghosts @deardiary17 @naaer No pressure!

[deliciouskeys]

Writer Tag

Thank you for tagging me, @kosmochlor and @saintmathieublanc<3

How many works do you have on AO3?

47 apparently.

What's your total AO3 word count?

469,180

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

1) Attack on Titan rated T fic, macro micro (it was part of the canon there lol), blind character element

2) Zinc Molybdate (rising star but very far behind #1)

3) Another Attack on Titan fic rated T. Anime fans are all under 18 I guess.

4) Negan/Rick mpreg lol. I abandoned it when TWD season 8 deeply disappointed me and hopefully that doesn't happen again with the current fandom D: (I don't think it will unless they do something truly idiotic like kill off Ryan in an inexplicable way)

5) The Selfish Gene

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes I do. It's the least I can do when someone takes the time to write something. Plus many of the comments are so thoughtful and sometimes helpful to the writing process. And I just enjoy responding.

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

Um. Probably an "original fic" set in the holocaust, unfortunately. I've written fics long ago where main characters die, but those are not angsty somehow, just dark/shock value.

What’s the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

I think it might be Zinc Molybdate lol. First of all it has an ending. And I'd say it's very optimistic about the human spirit and possibilities for change.

Do you write crossovers?

The only true crossover I ever wrote was Alex from a Clockwork Orange x Norman Bates. But I never crossposted it to AO3 from LJ. Can't imagine why XD I'm more of an AU where you recast the characters into a different world girl.

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

Yes, writing bible fic is controversial apparently. Writing holocaust fic is controversial apparently. Mpreg is controversial apparently, although I have never received hate for mpreg on ao3, only on tumblr.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I do..... I wouldn't say it's my forte, despite having it in almost every fic and fic chapter lol. I'd say there's always some element of something being 'off'. Normal people having bad sex, or a fucked up pairing having unsettlingly wholesome sex.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so. In small enough fandoms some ideas become sort of communal, but that's usually just fun 'sharing'.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

YES! And it's in a language that I'm pretty fluent in (but maybe not fic-writing fluent) so it was a surreal, amazing experience. I've translated several fics from Russian and one from French which was a stretch for me.

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Only in terms of translating others' fics. I've always wondered if I'd be able to do it with the right person.

What's your all-time favorite ship?

Butchlander. Which probably means my favorite ship is whatever I'm currently hyperfixating on, but I've been on this kick for like 20 months now, so I don't take these things lightly :)

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

My very first fic, which I started writing at 18 and abandoned at 19 or 20. I couldn't do it, I couldn't give them a happy ending because the pairing was just too messed up, I couldn't give them a sad ending because that's just not within the realm of what I'm willing to do.

What are your writing strengths?

I think I am all about the Emotional Journey, and thus by extension, characterization. I like writing dialogue, so hopefully that's a strength, otherwise the readers get to suffer lol.

What are your writing weaknesses?

I have to remind myself to write even the most basic setting/scenery details. Most of the time I don't think it's very important. I'm probably not a very visual person (although that doesn't mean I don't love art and fanart!). I can write multiple characters outside of the pairing, and those scenes are fun, but I tend to prefer hyperfocusing on just the 2 mains, which is probably a limitation.

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

Oh god, I did it in a fic, and ... I shall leave it as I wrote it in my 20s, but... it was ill-advised. I'd say don't do it unless it's a language you know, and even then... why.

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Uh. Peter Pan. And I don't mean during the Once Upon a Time craze that happened much later.

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

Within the Boys, I'll also say Starlander. I like it, and honestly the canon leaves much to be desired, so it's fertile ground. Fandomwise, I read quite a bit of Batjokes and Symbrock, but never wrote anything for them.

What's your favorite fic you've written?

I'll go with Zinc Molybdate. It's got that new relationship fandom energy that is impossible to just bottle up and deploy when wanted. But I like them all.

Zero pressure tags (and sorry if you've been tagged elsewhere) @phoenixtakaramono @eutz @merry-andrews and anyone who sees this and has ao3!

[chayscribbles]

chayscribbles’ monthly writing update ☆ august/september 2023 double feature

☆ STATISTICS.

words written: 4273 in august; none in september BUT that's because i did a lot of revising

projects worked on: Gemini Heist in august; Andromeda Rogue in september, then procrastinated so hard i ended up writing a few paragraphs on Third, Secret Wip

proudest accomplishment: i compiled all my AR1 beta feedback without giving in to the urge to set the book on fire and also myself

books read: Network Effect (Murderbot Diaries #5) by Martha Wells

☆ GENERAL COMMENTS.

so basically i started off august decently solid, working on gemini heist while andromeda rogue was off being torn apart by the betas. (i'm joking. it didn't get torn apart. i think you guys were being way too nice actually.)

and then all kinds of shit hit the fan in my personal life all at once in mid-august. both good and bad. it was a lot.

anyways the first half of september was spent recovering from all that, BUT i took a week off work mid-september to catch my breath and also get back into writing, and it was really good for me.

on another note! i am very seriously considering making an etsy shop for some of my art, because as much as i loathe the thought of monetizing my hobbies, we are living in a cost of living crisis, and i don't wanna be in my ice water soup era forever, ha. anyways stay tuned. (and if you think it would be a good idea/you think yourself or others would be interested in buying things PLEASE LET ME KNOW. EXPLICITLY. because otherwise i will assume no one cares and the idea will fizzle out.)

more specific wip-related comments + featured excerpt below.

☆ COMMENTS: ANDROMEDA ROGUE (draft 2 editing)

i went through all the beta comments during my week off and while i am glad it doesn't look like i'll have to do any more BIG rewrites, editing sucks and i want to give up.

☆ COMMENTS: THE GEMINI HEIST (draft 0.5. okay fine it's draft 1 but i feel better about myself if i call it draft 0.5 okay)

honestly when i was working on this feels sooo long ago i don't even remember what there is to say?

i hit 20K at some point in august. i think.

OH YEAH i "finished" act 2/7. the quotation marks are because i absolutely did not finish it, i only finished writing all the main plot-relevant scenes and skipped anything else. which means there's like a whole chapter and a half that haven't actually been written bc they're probably gonna be exposition or character building stuff that i haven't figured out yet and i'm hoping will be easier once i know what actually happens in the rest of this story. (reminder that i am a plantser.)

anyways i suspect this wip will be going dormant again for a while as i focus on getting AR ready for publishing. (sidenote it's been over a year since i started the GH draft and i feel like i've done fuck all on it besides come up with useless lore and make extremely specific playlists. world's slowest writer. the playlists slap, though.)

☆ FEATURED EXCERPT.

uh have this random snippet of Euna about to pop off!

Somewhere far, far, away, Leo was shouting, “Just get your ass out of there, Li!” but her voice seemed muffled in Euna’s ears, blocked out by the rage that had been steadily mounting ever since that guard shot her arm and ruined the fight for her. All she could hear was the blood rushing through her own ears, the buzz of the guard’s electrified gauntlets, the crackle of the electricity in her own hand. She reared her good fist back and slammed it into the guard’s face. Their nose made a sickening crunch against Euna’s knuckles. Blood flowed down over their mouth and chin as they staggered back, but Euna wasn't done. Her right arm, still spouting sparks, swung into the side of their head, finally bringing them down. Before they could get up again, Euna dropped on top of them, pinning them to the ground with her knees on their chest. She grabbed their shoulders and yanked their upper body off the floor, preparing to slam them down one last time— Purple light surrounded her. For a frightening second, she couldn’t move. Then she was thrown off the guard and dragged, upside-down, through the air towards the exit.

☆ TAGLISTS. let me know if you want to be added/removed to any of them.

general taglist:

@nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @onomatopiya @quilloftheclouds @ashen-crest @writeblrfantasy @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @extra-magichours @avi-why @lefttigerobservation @chazzawrites @bardolatrycore @innocentlymacabre

andromeda trilogy taglist:

@bebewrites @nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @onomatopiya @akindofmagictoo @quilloftheclouds @nora-theteawriter @ashen-crest @corpsepng @writeblrfantasy @toboldlywrite @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @cheerfulmelancholies @extra-magichours @writeouswriter @cilly-the-writer @lefttigerobservation @rose-bookblood @drowsy-quill @chazzawrites @cynic-and-chief @enchanted-lightning-aes @aesa @outpost51

gemini heist taglist:

@florraisons @akindofmagictoo @cream-and-tea @nicola-writes @memento-morri-writes @antique-symbolism @rose-bookblood @afoolandathief @pepperdee @avi-why @zonnemaagd @chazzawrites @analogued @enchanted-lightning-aes @innocentlymacabre @kahvilahuhut @celestepens @cilly-the-writer @extra-magichours @onomatopiya @outpost51

[digital-chance]

Writing Question Tag

thank you sm @janec23 for the tag! sorry for taking ages on this.

gently tagging: @halfbit, @vollzz, @scribbling-stardust, @leisoree, @your-absent-father, @magicicada-lbwrites, @clairelsonao3, @soiledcat, @mjparkerwriting, @aspiringfictionwriter, @ruinmegently

questions at the bottom

1. What is your absolute all-time favourite ideas you’ve ever had?

Honestly, I don't really know. All my favorite ideas I usually use for a wip and I don't really have a all-time fav.

2. Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you, and you still think about sometimes?

Lately I've been seeing worldbuilding posts that say something along the lines of "do you know have to know every little detail about the world? is it relevant to the plot to know exactly which plants grow in each season? if it isn't, you don't have to figure that out." (plant thing example). It's a great reminder that sometimes the nitty-gritty details aren't needed and that worldbuilding can be more manageable.

3. What is your favourite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

My favorite part of being a writer is the storytelling and the adventures that I can make the characters go on. I enjoy daydreaming about the adventures and coming up with ways they would tackle different situations. What I don't enjoy is finding the precise words for each of those situations, especially the important lines. I tend to forget the words right when I need them which makes the entire feat annoying and the first few drafts will have tons of bracket placeholders.

4. What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

I love the process of creation and getting caught up in the mess of ideas. One of the greatest motivations is getting inspired or new ideas. Lately, I've been drawing and reading more and generally trying to balance all of my creative passions more which is something I haven't done for literal years. It's both exciting and strange at the same time. I still create and get into the mess of the/my process which is the best part for me, just in a different way.

5. What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever read or been given as a writer?

Use brackets [ ] as placeholders when you're writing in order to keep your flow. I've depended on this for my initial drafts for my wips since it's the only way I can make sure I can keep writing without feeling bogged down with details that I can fill in later.

6. What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

It's okay to write scenes out of sequence and then piece it together afterward. If writing chronologically dampens your creative process, writing whatever scene comes to you is okay.

7. What is your favourite story you’ve written to completion? Link it if you’d like and can!

Nothing yet so far. I've posted one chapter of you still would've been mine but I'm not really happy with it.

8. What is your favourite out-of-the-box quote?

I don't really have any favorite quotes. I do enjoy clever or inspirational lines but I don't think about them often enough to remember them.

9. Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so, and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

Rowan Reyes, 100%. They're anti-capitalist, anti-government, anti-rich, to just name a few movements. They're incredibly passionate and motivated and don't let things like government confidentiality stop them. I feel like this is a lot more radical than most people believe and the topics would definitely start arguments at family dinners or on twitter. Personally their ideals are a lot more intense than mine but it's something new to explore. It's very suited for their role in their story along with their society.

10. If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

I would be surprised at my career path and would be surprised that I read more fanfiction than novels lately. I used to be REALLY into reading and so the shift in what I read would be surprising. Also, I'd be surprised that fanfiction exists point-blank. It's what I wanted as a kid but I didn't even imagine that it would be possible. Oh and that I transitioned. (again, something child me didn't even imagine to be possible)

question template::

1. What is your absolute all-time favourite ideas you’ve ever had?

2. Is there a question you’ve been asked in the past that really stands out to you, and you still think about sometimes?

3. What is your favourite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

4. What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

5. What is the best piece of advice you’ve ever read or been given as a writer?

6. What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

7. What is your favourite story you’ve written to completion? Link it if you’d like and can!

8. What is your favorite out-of-the-box quote?

9. Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so, and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

10. If you, when you first started writing, met you now, what would younger you think?

[claudiajcregg]

S5 Pregnancy AU - I’d love to hear about!

Welp, this is embarrassing – mostly because this has been sitting in my inbox for almost two weeks, and I kept saying “I need to write something up!” and then… I didn't. (Or rather, I did, then I forgot to post it.) Sorry for the wait, Lil! Thank you for asking <3 (I'll divide this up because I keep writing about the process and how it came to be, instead of any actual, interesting facts.)

I have talked about this one in the past though I don't have a tag for it. The gist is what it says… (Early) S5 but CJ is pregnant. I had this idea over a year ago when I hit mid/late S4 in my rewatch. I thought it'd be interesting to explore some of her disappointment at that time if you added an unexpected pregnancy to it, even if I had the idea before even getting there, lol. Think, the ending-ish of Han, or parts of Disaster Relief. (Both of which do feature! I surprisingly focus a lot on Disaster Relief.)

The thing with S5 is that the timeline is so weird, and I feel I've also created one that isn't entirely realistic but I think it works within the story. (IIRC, the season starts in “May” but also July, then the Shutdown is in November, lmao. A few of the episodes are sneaky two-parters that flow into each other… See 5-6, 7-8.) I've finally gotten out of the no-man's-land I wrote myself into and the next chapter or two, knowing myself, will deal with 7-8! There are a couple of scenes that should be fun to write! (There are so many details I want to mention that are technically spoilers for early twists…)

Every time I had the urge to write it, I'd edit whatever outline I was working in, and though I kept some details… my muse decided to make a big change early on that completely changed the fic's direction. That, and my inability to write anything succinctly. No reason why this story will cross the 100k barrier in a couple of chapters, tops. (It's sitting at 85k across 12 chapters. I think it'll be less than 20 chapters total. Hopefully.)

This might be too long to share snippets, but I've shared some either on the server or here, a couple of months ago.

For more irrelevant details on the “process”…

As I hinted at, I wrote an outline or two around this time last year, because I couldn't stop thinking about it. When I say outlines, it's a general path for the story to follow – ideas, suggestions of dialogue and/or scenes I write to myself; all focused around some sort of chapter structure. I find it much easier to write if I write down where a chapter might go, even if it's just a few lines saying “This happens → then this → finally this;” otherwise, it takes me months. Some would say that I should post it and get encouragement that way but… I hate being dependent on something I can control even less than my muse? That's not for me, thank you. Mad respect for those who work like that.

It was meant to be short – 1-2 “long” chapters per trimester, more if needed, but then interludes in between trimesters. It's not that. Most chapters currently cover 1-2 weeks, but there is not really a pattern. I was afraid of having a fic that would take over my life like the WOWO did three years ago… And it has, but I've also taken breaks and not felt too guilty about them. I definitely don't want this one to sit in my drive and have me wondering what to do with it.

(The novel, aka WOWO, aka IM AU (2021): 150k written in a little over five months, even with extended breaks over the summer. Still hits, even with all its crazy decisions, maybe because of them, but it's also been too long, and it will always remind me of someone who kinda hurt me. Attempts to replace those memories by sharing the story with others, trying to gather whether it's worth posting, have failed, lmao. One day! Maybe!)

But yeah. Uuuuuhhhh. As I've said… Twelve chapters in ten months, 85k words… It's still not done. In fact, I've repeatedly said I am unsure of how to end it (beyond the obvious), but I'd estimate it to be under 20 chapters. I'm not posting it anywhere yet because I want to be able to edit it as a whole and try to make it more consistent; to add little details as I come up with them. There's also the fact that I am not skilled enough to write a compelling story that mixes politics and emotion into something remotely engaging. As a result, the story's politics are very surface-level, and probably repetitive at points, but it's also true I've always been more interested and focused on the emotional journey and the relationship(s) at its center. (Which should surprise exactly no one who's ever read one of my stories.)

But, as critical as I might sound of myself here, I am having fun writing this and I'm committed to seeing it through. I just keep having ideas for stories down the line, putting actual show events through a 'but she also has a kid' perspective.

[onlyweknowleeknow]

Angels and Demons, Good and Bad

Parts: 1, 2…

Hyunjin x reader. ft. Felix x reader

Genres: Strangers to lovers, supernatural, angst, fluff, dreamland(?), previous Felix x reader.

Snyopsis: Your heart had been beating for one reason and one reason alone; him. That is, until you find out he has committed the ultimate sin, leaving you spiraling to grasp the difference between reality and dreams. Your distressed reality seems to not only push you further into the depths of your mind, but also attract a certain soul, one whose attention you shouldn’t have, but might just need.

Word Count: 3.6k

Warnings: afab reader, angst, depression, suicide, character death, angels and demons, supernatural, eventual smut, implications of smut, fluff(?), self loathing, financial struggle, obsession, self harm, violence, language.

a/n: this is the second part to my first series posted on tumblr. I hope you guys like the story so far! Sorry if my updates are few and far between, I have lots going on in my personal life right now. I hope to make this series at least 5 chapters long, but it’ll probably have around 10 chapters total. We’ll see I guess! Enjoy <3

➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

I sat on the couch, hands digging into my scalp, just as they seemed to always be doing lately. My knees were curled up, mind swirling with confusion. It was just a dream, right? How could a dream have left marks?

My fingers itched for the keyboard of my computer, mind longing to research about the dream. I might be able to find information, or perhaps look for similar occurrences that happened to other people.

So, I hesitantly lifted myself from the welcoming couch, flickering my sights towards the stove clock; 9:36am.

I had about an hour till my first class began, so I took the chance to find my computer. It was where I had left it before, sitting upon my neat desktop.

Though now, light shown through the luminescent curtains, offering a soft glow to the desolate room.

I mumbled a curse when I saw just how messy my room was, contrasting the clean nature of my desk. But I didn’t have time to consider that, not now, at least.

I made my way across the room, over various piles of clothes and books, all the way to my desk. I pulled out the chair, heard the old wood creak under my touch.

Great. Just another reminder of something in my life that needed to be fixed.

My shoulder blades rolled, a dull pain slithered up my neck, which reminded me what I had been doing in the first place.

My hand found a spot on the bruises, heart leaping at the dreams’ scattered scene.

I felt a cold chill behind my back, the breeze wrapped around my torso in teasing wisps.

It reminded me of someone. Felix had also been a bit on the colder side, which was strange considering how warm his personality was.

Was he trying to reach me? I pondered, wobbled my head, and sat down with an outward glare towards the computer.

My fingers fiddled with the power key for a moment, before I finally pressed down with a quiet exhale.

I was nervous, honestly. Part of me had hope for what I might find, while the other part of me was dreading the words I might unravel in the process of my research. The prospect made me quiver, except now, the breeze was gone, a fleeting memory that left goosebumps in its wake.

Much like Felix’s touches the previous night.

No, not Felix’s. It wasn’t Felix, it couldn’t have been. He’s been gone for months. I sneered at the idea, the tremble in my fingers gave away my real feelings; fright.

I clicked in my password, and the familiar screen of YouTube popped up, the hour long playlist of Felix’s favorite song was still up and ready to play.

I deleted the tab and smoothed down my hair hastily. “Not the time, y/n, not the time.” The mental preparation was definitely needed.

The internet was full of lies and tricks, yet, excitement still bubbled through me at the prospect of Felix visiting my dreams. So I began to search about anything I could, about everything under the sun. As my fingers slid across the keys, the screen lit up with various sights and links about the topics. Angels, dreams, supernatural, and anything in between.

But a certain header had my attention almost immediately; “Dreams Between the Veil.” It was quite a simple label, but I was drawn to it nonetheless.

After I clicked on the link, my computer brought me to the site. It looked old, the technology that made the cite was obviously not the best. I just hoped it was reliable.

I began to read. The words filling my mind like light filled the world each fateful morning. There was nothing very good on the website, nothing pointing towards anything helpful or similar, except one, singular post.

It was from an anonymous user, created 4 years ago. I expanded the page, eyes tracing each curve of the letters, tongue rolling off each syllable as I whispered the words aloud.

“I’ve been visited by my husband every night for 10 years now. He died when he was 62, got into a car crash,” My heart ached for the poor commenter, but I had to keep reading.

“He’s been coming less and less now. At first, I brushed it off for guilt making my mind dream of him, but sometimes I would wake up with things from the dream, or in a new place in my room; the place I would leave him in my dream.”

I inhaled sharply. “Like for instance, one night I had fallen asleep leaned over the kitchen counter, and he had visited me. He told me to wake up and carried me to my bed, the same bed he used to lay in with me. He tucked me in, and when I awoke, I was in my room, tucked under the covers of my bed. I don’t know how he does this, but occurrences like this have happened many times.”

The writing was nearly done by now, her story stirring up my insides. “I can only assume he has unfinished business, or maybe he just wants to stay with me a little longer.”

The post finished there. I was about to get angry, sorrow getting ready to explode from me in the form of tears. Nothing in that post had helped, and they left no contact information. The account had also been deleted, which meant no crumbs left for me to follow.

But the world has its way of working things out. I noticed another tab on the accounts’ post. So, of course, I clicked on it. It was an edit, something commented only a year ago. It was by a different account, but definitely the same person.

I rapidly began to read, eyes flicking back and forth, back and forth. But what I read did not make me happy. In fact, it crushed my very being.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I checked the time, only having 15 minutes to get to class. Would they even notice I didn’t show up? I just wanted to sink into the welcoming warmth of my bed sheets.

I couldn’t do that though, my grades were already teetering on the edge of oblivion and I couldn’t afford another absence.

So, I lifted myself from my desk chair, feet sweeping against the ground in tired motions. I opened my closet, grabbing a random, cream colored hoodie and some black leggings.

I stripped myself of my older clothes, pulling on the new ones with a sullen look on my face and a sour taste in my mouth. I put on a few bracelets; two of which were from Felix. I also put on a necklace. My hands ghosted their way up my neck, the small bruises burning with a fiery passion.

I looked at my feet, black socks adoring them. My hands glided between my collarbones, pushing away the hoodie to grasp onto the necklace I had just put on. Felix had gotten it for me when we first got together.

It was a simple, silver chain with the eternal symbol formed in the front. It was a bit small, hauled up slightly above my collarbones, instead of below them.

My fingers skimmed across the smooth jewelry, then dropped to my side in fists. I checked my watch again, groaning faintly at the fact I only had 10 minutes left.

I grabbed my small backpack and keys that jingled beside the door, sticking my phone in my hoodie pocket.

I slid on a random pair of shoes, put my hair into a half up, half down style, and left the cold, empty apartment. Felix had taken all the life and joy from it when he left.

I made sure to lock the door behind me, shoving the keys into my hoodie pocket as well.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

The day was beautiful, the sky pigmented a lovely shade of blue, fluffy clouds only adding to its glory. Honestly, it made me sick, fingers tightening around my backpack straps.

How dare the world be so beautiful when Felix wasn’t in it anymore? How dare the skies paint themselves so perfectly when he couldn’t experience it. It wasn’t fair, it just wasn’t.

The days before his death were gloomy and cold, the weather couldn’t seem to decide if it wanted to rain or snow.

Maybe it was a sign, a sign that something bad was going to happen. But my naive mind was too enthralled by him, too entangled in his marvelous webs to even bat an eye.

When I thought back to it now, it made me angry. I was rarely ever angry with Felix, but lately, it felt like all I’ve been doing is getting upset by him. At his memory.

I shouldn’t, I knew. Yet, I couldn’t help it. The feeling of being completely abandoned just drips into the cracks of my confidence, dragging me down with slow, agonizing movements.

The thoughts were thrown out of my mind when I ran into something solid. When I looked up, I was met with a dark-haired boy. He was stupidly good looking. His hair was dark and cut neatly against his head, curving in on his forehead. His cat-like eyes narrowed down at me, showing something dark swirling within their depths. Plump lips parted, revealing an adorable set of bunny teeth.

But the snarl that left his lips was far from cute. “Watch it.” He growled, pushing past me as he fixed his shirt in disgust.

My eyebrows furrowed, a scoff leaving my lips. I just rolled my eyes, my mood already off to a bad start, his attitude didn’t help. “What a prick.” I said to myself, shaking my head slowly as I watched the rude boy disappear from my view.

I continued to class, eyes trapped on the ground in front of me. It was gonna be a long, long day.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

It really had been a long day. The minutes ticking by so, painfully slow. My first class was worse then the second, and the second was worse then the third. By the time I had finished my classes for the day, it was 2pm. I hated Tuesdays. The classes weren’t usually that bad, but they were right on top of each other.

I decided to go to my favorite café, which, luckily for me, was just a few blocks away.

When I arrived and opened the door, the delicious smell of freshly baked goods and coffee filled my nose. The little shop always managed to put a smile on my face, even just for a few hours.

I didn’t bother looking around, the other customers weren’t of my concern.

Besides, I was stuck in a trance. Beaming ear to ear, was my favorite, living, person in the world; Chaeryeong.

“Chae!” I exclaimed, her eyes scrunching in the corners as she giggled at me. “Y/n!” She responded, just as enthusiastic.

I reached over the counter, lighting hitting the girl’s shoulder. “Yah! Why didn’t you tell me you were working today?” I jutted my lip out into a pout, Chae, rubbing her shoulder, looked at me with a sulky expression.

“First of all, ouch. Second of all, I did tell you. It’s not my fault someone never checks their phone.” Her backhanded insult slapped me right in the face.

“Oh…” I reached for my phone, opening it with quiet taps. She was indeed right. She had texted me, I just forgot that I had put my phone on silent for my study session last night. Chae 1, y/n 0.

When I looked back up, Chae had her hip popped out, arms crossed. I smiled sheepishly at her, shrugging my shoulders in embarrassment.

“Anyways…” I coughed, tucking a stray piece of hair behind my ears, which were probably a whole new shade of red.

Chae scoffed at me, shaking her head as she spun on her heels. “Want your usual?” She asked, even though she was already making it for me. “You remember my usual? I don’t recall you having a good mem-“ She cut me off with an angry whisper. “I don’t have to make it for you! You’re lucky I’m giving this to you for free.” I gasped, placing a hand on my chest.

“You wouldn’t make your best friend pay for coffee!” She raised a brow. “Was that a challenge?” She assessed, shaking the cup of coffee in her hands. “It’s not a test! Please don’t waste my coffee, I need that.” I begged, watching in panic as a few drops spilled onto the floor.

She squinted, slowly handing me to cup. “Fine, but only because I’m the one who’d have to clean it.” She stated matter-of-factly.

I just dipped my warm drink, not wanting to have my coffee snatched my my clutches.

I stayed to talk to Chae for a while, she always made me feel better. She and I had been best friends for almost 3 years, having met on the first day of collage.

She was always brazen, yet very sweet when she wanted to be. Chaeryeong was a big reason I was able to keep functioning. She always put a smile on my face and yummy coffee in my hands. How could I possibly complain?

Her roommates were also really fun, sometimes making me wish I had roommates of my own. And eventually, I did. But Felix didn’t stay for nearly as long as I wanted him too, and honestly, I didn’t think I could accept another roommate after him.

Chae’s would have to be enough for me. And usually, they were.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Every little while, when new costumers came in, or old customers left, I would step aside and allow Chae to do her job. It had been about an hour now, my bag slung across a chair close to the the counter.

I was scrolling through my phone, leaning against the counter while Chae made a latte for a new customer. When the bell on the door jingled again, I didn’t bother looking up.

In fact, I wouldn’t have if it weren’t for the unsettling chill that ran along my spine. When I felt it, it reminded me of the ill-mannered boy I had run into earlier, so I did focus my gaze on the newcomers.

Sure enough, there he was. The stupid, bunny boy who I had run into earlier. Not only him, but 6 other boys too. They were all devilishly handsome, it was ridiculous, honestly. But what intrigued me was the aura they gave off. It was something I had found only in my darkest dreams, the ones that made you shoot up in bed with tears in your eyes.

But I ignored it, and I ignored him. The thing that I couldn’t ignore was the way he glared at me. And I was sure, if he had fur, it would be spiked.

Chae’s voice snapped me out of the daze I was being whisked away into. “Hello, welcome to The Daily Coffee Grind. What can I get for you today?”

Her voice was cheery and welcoming, but it didn’t really comfort me now.

My eyes swiveled towards her, a quiet scoff exiting my lips at her heart-eyed expression. Chaeryeong shot me a discreet glare, warning me to be quiet.

My arms simply crossed over my chest, body leaning back lazily as I rolled my eyes, looking back at my phone. As I was clicking away, I could hear the boys order, but I didn’t pay them much attention.

When I finally did look up, it was because Chae flicked my arm.

“Aish, what was that for?” I grumbled, my mood had turned sour again.

“What was so funny?” Chae inquired, hands back on her hips.

I pursed my lips, sweeping over each scenario that could happen if I was snarky. So I bit my tongue, shrugging lightly.

Chae hummed in suspicion, a painfully fake smile plastering itself over her features as an old couple came in. I checked my watch, it was 2:45pm now. I should get going soon, school work was certainly piling up at my dark apartment.

I was hesitant though, doing homework really didn’t sound appealing right now. Another little while with Chae couldn’t hurt.

So, I stayed. After the older couple had gotten their food, Chae and I began to talk. It had been about a week since we’d seen each other, so we simply filled the other in on things in our life. I managed to put up a facade that she seemed to fall for. I didn’t want her to know I was still drowning in sorrow because of Felix, I didn’t need her pity anymore.

“Y/n, don’t look now, but those those guys are staring at you. The good-looking ones from earlier.”

I raised a brow, ignoring her warning to instead, not very discreetly, look at the 7 men. They were, indeed, watching me

Not how I would have assumed they were by Chae’s words, but instead, they just glanced my way every few moments, eyes hovering a second too long.

Except one.

His blonde hair was cut neatly, half of it tied up with a few unfastened strands hanging over his forehead. It was most definitely a wolf cut, not extremely long, but nonetheless. He had slender, cat-like eyes, even more so then the other boy from earlier. Though, this boy’s eyes were, for the most part, the only cat-like features on him, an adorable mole placed right under his left eye. His lips were wide and plump, painted a pretty shade of red. His nose was curved perfectly, and his jawline was ridiculously sharp.

His slender figure was only accentuated with his clothing; black, white, and gray camo cargo pants, a black belt which defined his slim waist, and a white hoodie with pretty, soft pink roses painted onto it. He was also wearing a black beanie, black boots, a bracelet on each of his wrists, and multiple rings on his graceful fingers.

It was sinful to be so good looking. And he was shamefully staring at me.

The thought made me recoil, curling in on myself as a pang of guilt ring through my body. I quivered, quickly looking the other way. These thoughts made me feel like I was betraying Felix, which was something that I couldn’t do, especially not after I had read that anonymous post. Not ever.

My hands curled over my neck, for some reason I wanted to protect Felix’s marks, which were mostly covered by my hoodie. My lower lip was pulled into my mouth, currently being used as a stress reliever for my teeth.

Dread began to seep up my spine, spreading into every inch of my body. I swallowed harshly, feet shuffling uncomfortably. The twinge in my gut made me want to hurl.

How could I be looking at other men when Felix had only just left me? He would leave if I did, I was sure of it now. It seemed unfair and cruel.

But I had to look back, something about the stranger just drew me in, pulling me closer and closer into his trap.

Like a siren drawing in their prey from boats and beaches near the sea.

He was still surveying me, only now, his lips were curled into a troublesome grin.

His body shifted, eyes moving towards his table of friends. He said something to them, but it was so quiet that I couldn’t pick up on it.

Almost immediately, the whole table turned towards me. They were laughing, eyes curved into something joyous, yet so sinister, it made my blood curdle. In fact, Chae noticed the shift in my mood, her eyes following my line of sight.

By now, the boys were snickering to themselves, each one peeking towards me for a moment, which made their laughter roar to life again.

I hadn’t ever really felt like this, like my whole existence relied upon these 7 boys. Not when the mean girls set their sights on me in high school, not when I embarrassed myself in public, not even when my own parents kicked me out.

Maybe it was because I had Felix with me. My Felix.

His name made my eyes begin to water, my heart feeling as though it was being ripped out.

There was something about those boys. I didn’t know what, but they made me feel so small. Like everything I’d ever accomplished was nothing at all.

It made me sick, the feeling so overwhelmingly horrible that I had to excuse myself.

I said goodbye to Chaeryeong, my face certainly red with emotion, and not the good kind. I could feel it in the way my skin felt hot and my eyes let water drip down my cheeks. “Y/n—“ Chae began, but I simply turned on my heels, not wanting to talk with her, or anyone, right now.

I sent the table of boys one last look, only to find they were all watching me. Each of their eyes held something untouchable within their depths.

They all had confident, arrogant looks on their faces. But it was his eyes that gave him away. It was his eyes that conveyed worry, and regret. Pouring it all into my mind, if only for a moment.

I tore my gaze away, a whimper leaving my lips, Felix’s name repeating itself over and over again in my mind.

Yet, the cat-eyed boy watched me. And maybe, just maybe, if I had gazed at him only a little longer, I would have seen him cringe each time Felix’s name was repeated in my mind, and the longing look his eyes entailed.

Or perhaps, I would have seen the way his fingers twitch towards me as I left, or the way his foot began to tap as the distance between us grew.

But even if I did, I never would have heard the promise he made to himself in his mind.

“I promise, to find you, and I promise to protect you.”

That was the promise Hyunjin made. Not because he wanted to, necessarily. But instead, because something about you drew him in like nothing ever had before.

It was as if your soul had reached out to his and reminded him of who he used to be.

But no matter what it was, Hyunjin vowed to both his soul, and yours that day.

He would never stop looking for you, and he would never, ever let you go.

➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖➖

[spice-honey]

The Fanfic Editing Process

Hello everyone! Today I've decided to share a few tips on editing your chapters, for anyone who is new to writing or would like to improve their writing. Editing is a skill in itself. For me, it takes longer than writing the actual damn chapter. I think good editing takes stories to the next level and it's worth taking a moment to do it, instead of just eagerly hit the 'Post' button

First, what is editing? You assess the text for grammar, spelling, sentence and detail clarity along with plot development. Editing is often rewriting, moving paragraphs around, switching scene orders, adding or deleting characters, and changing POVs (if applicable). It requires a lot of "rounds" before it's ready. Each step below is a round in itself. Remember: you cannot edit a blank page. If you hate your writing, remind yourself this is your first draft - you will edit it later to make it better or different. But you have to write it first.

I use google docs. You can easily share it with your betas/friends, and keep track of suggestions and modifications they make. They can leave comments on specific passages and words, to which you can also reply. Google docs also has a chat function to edit and discuss live.

Google docs has spelling and grammar check (it's under Tools) that will scan the document below where your cursor is. So if you just want to spell check past chapter 7, go to chapter 7 and use the tool. It will skip anything before it. If you want to do the entire document, start up top.

Crtl + F and look for the specific words that are commonly overused such as that, really, very, just, then, literally, thing and dialogue tags. You don't have to write them out entirely, but if you used 'that' 7 times in a paragraph, you might want to rework some sentences to 5 take out. Readers get tired of repetitive words. You also don't have to banish every single dialogue tag, but when it's a conversation between 2 people you should use them to indicate tone or action. 'Said' is not necessarily dead, but you can omit it 95% of the time

Avoid long sentences. Run-on sentences are okay if grammatically correct, but stick to one idea per sentence otherwise it can be tiring to read.

Adverbs ending in -ly. 'She runs quickly' can be 'she sprints'. 'He walks quietly' can be ' He creeps'. Choose descriptive verbs if you can.

Pay attention to verb tenses. If you are writing in the present tense make sure you don't slip into past tense when it is not appropriate and vice versa.

In your own notes write scene summaries explaining to yourself why this scene is necessary (I use bullet points in the comments). What information or situation is being presented in each passage that is important to the plot in the long run. It helps you to keep tabs on your outline (if you have one). It's okay to just have scenes that don't actually add anything to the story other than the joy of reading them whatever they may be. But if you are struggling with your plot, make sure your story doesn't have a lot of those.

Italics. Depends on your formatting, of course, but if it is to bring emphasis on a single word, my personal rule is to do it once per page. When I copy and paste my chapters into Ffnet/Ao3 it comes without any formatting (bold, italic) so I have to add them back in manually on my final read-through. Surprisingly, I end up adding a lot fewer italics in the final edit than in the original script

The Final Read-through: it is done in your browser, at the document editor of ffnet/ao3. You will catch a lot more errors/weird sentences there despite having it read 100 times on google docs. Your brain just gets used to - visually - to the text and it will skip words as you re-read without you noticing. Having a different font and background will make your brain read it as if it's the first time. I tried tricking myself on google docs by changing font and colour but I didn't find it super effective (it may work for you, I don't know). Grammarly is also good to use here. I disable it on google docs because it slows down my browser. I like it mostly for punctuation.

Read it out loud. Yes, you'll have to disable the cringe factor but you will catch so many clunky sentences and missing words. Make sure narration sounds like narration and dialogue sounds like dialogue. I usually do Step 10 and 11 at the same time.

Any questions, my Asks are open! And if you have tips you'd like to share I'd LOVE to hear it.

Happy editing!

[bereft-of-frogs]

hello friends, it is October 1, I am at my PEAK spooky bitch, in honor of this have a list of bad summaries of everything I'm working on for whumptober (and a reminder that I have been flaunting the 'rules' of whumptober for 5 years, not planning on changing now, won't start posting until Halloween 🎃)

Day 1 (safety net, swooning, 'how many fingers am I holding up'): unlikely hero deeply resents being forced to save everyone (status: outline only, eehh sort of lower on the priority list, probably won't get finished tbh)

Day 2 (delirium, 'they don't care about you'): dude just really fucking hates a teenager for no reason; bad vibes are infectious (status: I have 332 words, should be able to finish)

Day 3 (journal, solitary confinement): I once again attempt to make found footage happen ('stop trying to make found footage happen, it's not going to happen--') (it's going to happen) (status: I'm obsessed with this, it's at 1.2k, I think I can get this done)

Day 8 (overcrowded ER): ack crowds (status: 299 words, but it's an old draft so finishing will mean getting over the cringe factor)

Day 11 (animal trap, captivity): yet another character who was definitely supposed to be dead is in fact not and is going to make that everyone's problem (status: barely an outline, I've been kicking this one around for ages but I'm sort of torn on how deep to go into the disturbing content, so...we'll see. if anything it will probably be just the first chapter of a wip)

Day 12 (red, insomnia): second chapter to a currently posting WIP in which our characters play detective, make an ill-advised, true-crime-obsessed friend, and debate the nature of ghosts (status: first draft done! needs second, currently at 7.4k, posting this one on Halloween)

Day 13 (cold compress, infection, 'I don't feel so good'): first chapter of a future WIP (I'm embracing the serialized nature of fandom) in which there are concussions, dreams, and deeply held headcanons (status: 272 words...I think I can finish it? the outline is extensive)

Day 14 (flare, water inhalation): :) big water = bad (status: 434 words, but also there are more because I'm kidnapping a cut dream from the dark ocean duology. the dreams in that got a little out of hand, but some of the cut ones were really fun so I'm glad I found this one a home)

Day 15 (suppressed suffering): deeply unfair consequences (status: first draft done, 3.2k)

Day 19 (psychological): you can't convince me that consultants aren't evil geniuses (status: 2.5k, there is 0% chance of this being finished, because it's going to be long - this is the outline that I wrote at work last week that made my hand go numb - but using the prompt as a springboard to work on it. this took over my life for a couple days last week)

Day 21 (vows, restraints, 'don't move'): folk horror #1 (yes there are two) (status: vague outline only, unlikely to be finished)

Day 23 (shadows, stalking): literally my worst nightmare (status: so this is actually excerpts from my nanowrimo project, because I need a little push to get it started and not just re-outline it again. I have one scene written in a notebook, so we're starting to chip away at that barrier)

Day 25 (storm, buried alive): HAUNTED HOUSE!!! 👻💀👻💀 HARVEST FESTIVAL!!!!!!! 🍂🎃🍂🎃STORM!!!!!!!!! ⛈️🪦⛈️🪦YEAAAAAAAAHHHHH-- (status: 269 words, this one is a late addition idea but I'm moving it up in the priority because it is the spookiest, I'm obsessed)

Day 28 (bloody knife, sacrifice): folk horror #2. this one came to me in a dream. (status: there's an older draft that has like 2.7k in it but like Day 19, I want to be able to do it justice, so I doubt it will be finished, but it's a good springboard)

Day 29 (troubled past resurfacing): a little interaction I have absolutely no business writing (status: done, 1.1k, debating moving to Day 6 (recording))

Day 30 (bridal carry): literal. babies. (status: I have about a thousand words here but I don't...love them. I really want to finish it though. I did math for this. Sort of stretching the prompt on this one.)

Alt Prompt 10 (shaking): SADNESS. 🥲 (status: first draft done, currently at 2.4k, manifestation of my denial)

'hey, you said there were 15 ideas, why are there 17 here--' shutup

laying them all out like this is slightly stressful, especially because I've become a two-draft minimum person, but I have a plan. I think I'm going to focus on first drafts until the weekend of October 14-15, when I'm going up to dogsit for my parents, then after that shift priority to the second drafts of what I have finished. I think that's...doable...? we shall see!

[perfectlovepoison]

Miyagi’s Alter Ego

I’ve been wanting to make another Terrorist text post for long while, so here it is. This topic is a bit unusual, though.

Basically, I would like to talk about Miyagi’s mysterious alter-ego, Donichi. Donichi lives in my mind rent free, so it is time to immortalise Donichi on my blog.

Who or what is Donichi? To find out, first we have to go back to act 5 of Junjou Terrorist (equivalent to Season 2 Episode 8 of the anime). This is the chapter where Shinobu has been avoiding Miyagi after finding the photo of his old teacher. Miyagi dons a disguise to corner Shinobu at his house, they have a shouting match, and then he whisks Shinobu away in his car, leading to the climax of their story arc.

Like many, I first experienced this story through watching the anime. Afterwards, I wanted more, so I hunted for the English manga online. The first 12 volumes of Junjou Romantica were officially translated into English around this time, but if you searched, you were probably going to find scanlations online, which is how I experienced a large chunk of the early manga chapters.

So as a reminder, it went like this when Miyagi confronted Shinobu with the photo...

Shinobu is upset about the photo...then, after some more yelling...

After which, Miyagi pulls Shinobu into his car...

Don’t worry! He’ll be with me for a while!

This is where the anime moves to the next scene. But there’s actually a few more lines in the manga.

>>Wait…hold up...let me look again...

‘Donichi?!’

Who is Donichi?!? Miyagi’s mysterious alter ego?!

I was so mystified by this back when I first read this. I knew there was stuff in the manga that didn’t get adapted into anime. So somehow, it seemed plausible that Miyagi might have some kind of...persona? Or that he would ask Shinobu to tell his family that he’s with someone else, rather than himself - he was trying to hide from the dean and Risako after all...

But ‘Donichi’…really? Isn’t it kind of out of character for Miyagi to create a new persona all of a sudden? And why the heck would it be a good idea for Shinobu to tell his family he’s with this Donichi?!? Now they really will think it’s a kidnapping! It even sounds like there could end up being a ransom!!

Of course, it’s a mistranslation, and quite a funny one. Actually, just hypothetically speaking, if you were to search for this chapter of Junjou Terrorist you could probably still find the scanlation, which would mean that people who want to read the manga from chapter 1 in English online these days (do they exist??) may still run into this extremely mysterious line.

Well, back then Japanese was inscrutable to me, even if teenage me had access to the Japanese volumes, they would not be able to read it. But now I can, so let’s look...

(Miyagi) 電話かけろ

denwa kakero

さっきの外国人と家族に❝土日は俺と一緒にいる❞って言え

sakki no gaikokujin to kazoku ni “donichi ha ore to issho ni iru” tte ie

“Make a phone call. Tell that foreigner and your family that you’ll be with me for the weekend.”

(Shinobu:) 土日？...どこ行くつもりだ

donichi? ...doko iku tsumori da

“The weekend? ...Just where are we going?”

That’s weird...no Donichi? it feels like a very different line, but this is definitely the same scene.

It’s amusingly simple.

土日は俺と一緒にいる

donichi ha ore to issho ni iru

Lit. As for the weekend, (you will be) with me

土日　donichi, means weekend. Literally: Saturday (土）and Sunday (日).

For some reason, this 土日 donichi was not translated, and instead became transliterated as ‘Donichi’. Why did it end up this way? 

I couldn’t say for sure, but maybe the wording is confusing. Miyagi literally tells Shinobu: Tell your family “you’ll be with me”, complete with quotation marks. 

Maybe the translator read this line as Miyagi telling Shinobu to tell his family word for word, ‘donichi ha ore to issho ni iru’. It’s not like Shinobu can repeat this phrase meaning “you’ll be with me” word for word to his family, it wouldn’t make any sense from Shinobu’s POV. 

To make it sense somehow, they turned donichi into a name. If we read donichi like a name, it sounds like, ‘tell your your family, “donichi is with me”’. Actually, it somehow makes logical sense! Although it is wrong. (lol) Shinobu’s incredulous response somehow supports this version of events as well.

But actually, it’s a simple enough line. Miyagi is just telling Shinobu, call your foreigner friend and your family and tell them you’ll be with me for the weekend. I mean, it’s not like that needs to be a secret. Shinobu already spends a lot of time with Miyagi, and his family (as in, the dean) already trust him enough, so it’s probably not that weird for them to be together for a weekend. He was just in a disguise to come to their house because...because...why was he in a disguise anyway? How is it any less suspicious than just turning up as himself? But I’m digressing...

Shinobu’s response is incredulous not because of a mysterious Donichi, but because he’s like, you’re taking me away for the whole weekend? Where are we going?

As mentioned before, in the anime, Miyagi just says ‘It’ll be a long drive’ and doesn’t say anything to Shinobu about telling his family. (The anime likes to cut exposition like that...) This may have helped to contributed to my younger self’s belief that there was hidden Donichi lore in the original manga, which just never made it to the anime...

And then they drive away...

Somehow I can never forget ‘Donichi’, even though I know it isn’t real. It become its own little canon in my mind back in the days when we all (OK, maybe not all) relied on the wisdom of fan translators and never doubted their veracity. It’s kind of hilarious how easily I was able to believe that Miyagi might have a secret persona. I was confused, I didn’t understand, but...I just accepted it. And I sort of wondered why Shinobu’s family never asked who Donichi was. Actually, Donichi was just in our hearts all along...

I just wanted to share this amusing memory and bit of Junjou fanscanlation history. Just to note, this is not intended to mock. This kind of stuff happens in translation all the time! Translators aren’t infalliable.

But it is also just really funny.

Regardless, I am so thankful that people took the time to make scanlations back then, as well as to the people who still work hard to make them now! I genuinely don’t think I would be as into JR as I am now without them! And even when I reread the manga in Japanese and everything became clear, I still thought...you know, the translators really captured each couple’s essence so well. It doesn’t feel different at all.

So a special thank you to swarmnovacoil, as according to the credits page of this scan!

[kaatiba]

5, 8, and 17!

sorry for the late reply!

—5— What's your favorite part of the writing process?

oooh i suppose the ideas part! when i have the ideas and im in that excited phase when im mentally piecing vibes, the outlines of characters, scenes, and worldbuilding together! full daydream mode :D

—8— What writing software do you use?

....Google Drive lol. I'm thinking to try Obsidian. I used to use Evernote but lately it's been v buggy, and then I used to use MS Word but I don't have free access anymore since I'm no longer a student

—15—What writing advice has been most helpful to you?

there's no 17 so i'm gonna assume you meant this one ^^;

honestly? i disregard most writing advice, because 1) its usually not first draft advice but that's not always made clear and 2)...they're guidelines but there's a lot of pressure to ascribe to them which does not work for me 9 times out of 10. however! my fave writing advice is more of a reminder: tolkien wrote whatever the hell he wanted that flew in the face of most advice and 'writing rules' and so should you. he had loads of exposition and info dumps! 'excessive' description! anachronistic worldbuilding! contradictory worldbuilding and character development (due in part, to be fair, to his son publishing drafts and unfinished work cobbled together into something coherent)! SO much fantastical linguistic stuff that arguably is unnecessary! self inserts! hugely powerful character that disappears after one chapter and 'adds nothing' to the plot!

yet his legendarium is BELOVED. it is a beautiful gorgeous story to me for many and still deeply enjoyable and readable. so i remember i can do WHAT I WANT and SOMEONE will like it. but making myself delighted is first and foremost the most important thing.

Send me M+S Ask Games: Writing Process questions!