DIHWYF Incorrect Quotes but it's mild Carmine sisters chaos
Because โจsisters โจ
Clara, staring at newly adopted Vaggie: Um...want a beer?
Odette: She's like...five!
Clara: I DUNNO, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH HER?!
Clara: I'M BREAKING THE WINDOW!
Odette, whispering into her phone: Uh, hi- we locked our baby sister in the car and people are judging us.
Clara, now running around looking for a rock: I SWEAR TO GOD I'M GONNA BREAK IT!
Odette, whirling around: DO NOT BREAK THE WINDOW, YOU'LL GET GLASS ON HER!
Odette: But if you keep making up words, no one will understand you.
Young Vaggie: Clara will. Watch. *tugs on Clara's arm*
Clara: Yeah, squirt?
Vaggie: *complete gibberish*
Clara, immediately playing along: Whoa, are you serious?
Vaggie: *more gibberish*
Clara: I'd never considered that before!
Vaggie: *very serious gibberish*
Clara, patting her head: This changes everything.
Odette, facepalming: You're both crazy.
*Odette, spotting Vaggie trying to sneak out of her bedroom: Oh, not again. Come on, go back to bed before Mamรก sees you.
Vaggie: But I don't want to go to bed!
Odette: Too bad, manita.
Vaggie, pouting: Why do I have to go to sleep? Why can't I just stay awake all night?
Odette, sighing and getting up to walk her back bed: Because that's the way the world is.
Vaggie: Well I'm going to make it so that's not how the world is!
Odette, tucking her in: That sounds like a big job. You're gonna need a full night's sleep for that.
Vaggie: Yeah, I will! *triumphantly snuggles in*
Vaggie, ten minutes later: Hey, wait a second-
Vaggie, curled up in front of the fridge: :(
Clara, spotting her: You alright, hermana?
Vaggie, sadly: I just miss Odette**.
Clara, sitting down next to her: Aw, I know.
Vaggie: And the fridge doesn't like me :(
Clara: I...know?
*Odette: Bed. Sleep. Now.
Vaggie, trying to hide behind Clara: But I'm not tired!
Clara: Yeah, 'Dette, she's not tired!
*they're both asleep in Clara's bed in ten minutes later*
Clara, snuggling lil' Vaggie: Big sister's going to drop-kick anyone that touches you ๐ฅฐ
Odette, without missing a beat: And bigger sister's going to bail big sister out of jail.
Carmilla, cuddling Vaggie after she tripped and fell: I know it's tough, mija. But hey, how many times have you bumped your head or gotten a bruise while you're playing with your sisters?
Vaggie, holding an ice pack on her knee: Um...lots.
Carmilla: Right. And what do they always tell you?
Vaggie: ...don't tell Mamรก?
Carmilla, who was fully expecting a different answer: What?!
Clara, who'd walked into the room to check on her little sister: Uh...I'll maybe come back later?
Clara, holding an ice pack to her sister's head: How much do you remember?
Teenage Vaggie, who'd just gotten into her first fight: Just the ambulance ride to the hospital, I think.
Odette: That wasn't an ambulance ride, I drove you.
Vaggie: But I heard sirens?
Clara: That was your girlfriend.
Charlie, clutching the largest teddy bear the hospital sold***: I got nervous!
Charlie, fresh into their relationship: If something happened to Vaggie, I...I couldn't live with myself.
Odette, completely straight faced: You wouldn't have to. Clara and I would kill you.
Vaggie, trying to sneak off with Charlie at a party: Guys, I need your help.
Clara: Oooh, ok. I have an idea.
Odette: Is it a bad idea?
Clara: *darts off in Velvette's direction*
Odette, jumping up to chase after her: CLARA, IS IT A BAD IDEA-****
Vaggie, walking by with a teapot:
Clara: Whatcha doing?
Vaggie: It's for Zestial. I'm planning on making some bad choices tonight and I want him on my side when Mom finds out.
Clara: Oooh, smart. I'll have to remember that.
Odette, not looking up from her laptop: I never realized the forethought that went into raising our mother's blood pressure.
BONUS:
Carmilla, trying to calm Lucifer down after he came to her for advice about Charlie: Look, I've raised three fully functional, well adjusted children and-
Luci, sniffling: You have three kids I don't know about?
Carmilla: ...
BECAUSE I LOVE THEM ALL
Here's a link to the AU!
*these exchanges definitely took place less than an hour apart.
**Odette is fine, she's just on a business trip and her sisters are sad.
***That bear is not for Vaggie. She has a different one for Vaggie. The older Carmines got her that so she would calm the fuck down
****is this a hint as to how Charlie and Vaggie meet? ๐คซ
449 notes
ยท
View notes
I have a kind of funny/kind of tragic AU idea bubbling in my head for the past few weeks.
So like in this AU Alastor isn't under a contract/deal, he's still insane and wants to cause chaos BUT ALSO he's lonely and wants to make friends. He's still very much AroAce in this AU so no romance or sex but that doesn't mean he doesn't want an honest connection with people. But he's also a psychotic serial killer with a very warped sense of morality which most people tend to find very creepy, so it's very difficult for him to actually get to know people when they don't want to approach you. Mimzy he's known since he was alive while Rosie and Zestiel have been in hell much longer and have seen and done shit much worse so its easy for Alastor to make friends with them.
Like he genuinely had a very close friendship with Vox up until Vox confessed his feelings and asked Alastor to join the Vees. Alastor of course said no but since he still wanted to be friends with Vox he tried to reject him as nicely as possible. Vox of course DID NOT take that well and a fight ensues between them. He considered Vox his best friend and was absolutely devastating when it all went down. That of course did not help with his already waning sanity.
When Alastor met Niffty he was overall charmed by her eccentric and chaotic nature. They got along like a house on fire, sometimes literally. She wasn't even offended when Alastor rejected her romantic advances, cheerfully stating that it was fine as long as she could stay by his side. "You wouldn't be able to get rid of me anyways!" A statement that would strike fear onto even the bravest of men but instead brought Alastor immense amounts of comfort and relief. Even so, he needed to assure that Niffty would never leave him, so he offered a contract. Alastor didn't even need to do all that much convincing to get her to sign, just say that as long as her soul was his they'd be together forever. Niffty was lonely too, an outsider even amongst the dammed of hell itself. Kindred spirits now forever intertwined by soul and contract.
Alastor didn't think much of Husk when they first met, just another pompous overlord drunk off power. In some ways he was right but also Husk was witty and charming and liked jazz and wasn't at all startled by Alastor's creepy demeanor and "unique" hobbies. He laughed at Alastor's jokes even if he said they were god awful, was probably the only other person living or dead that could drink Alastor under a table, and he didn't at all mind Alastor's distaste for technology passed the 1930s. Niffty liked him too which was a pretty good sign in Alastor's book and they got along swimmingly. The void that Vox left when they had inevitably parted ways was beginning to fill itself with whiskey, smoke, and card games. Alastor was determined NOT to lose it this time.
Alastor cheated of course, there was no way in hell he'd beat the gambling overlord fairly. He disguised his plan with a few stiff drinks and a seemingly playfully bet not ment to mean anything more than a joke. Husk was furious, if Alastor hadn't had him chained down he was sure the cat man would have shreded him to ribbons. He let Husk have a bit of space after that, let him cool down a bit, and it nearly made Alastor regret the whole thing because Husk refused to talk to him for MONTHS. Alastor did feel a bit guilty, not for tricking Husk into a contract but for cheating. Because Husk cheated all the time with anything and everything, from the most innocent card game between acquaintances to soul deals and contracts, but he never once cheated Alastor ever.
Husk did come around eventually, reluctantly, in that way people usually do when they finally give up and find they're in a situation they can't get out of. He was bitter, grumpy, and still incredibly pissed off about everything but at least he as talking to Alastor again. Albeit if only just to tell him off, but Alastor took it as a win anyway. He's lucky that he's Alastor's best friend (again, not by choice) because if anyone else were to speak to him like that they'd be dinner.
When Alastor hears about the hotel he thinks its the stupidest idea anybody has ever come up with. When he heard that it came from the princess of hell herself it made it that much funnier to him. Alastor loved messing around with people, his favorite kind being powerful people that were too much of a doormat to realize how powerful they actually are. That's what Charlie was to Alastor: a powerful being reduced to a meek and naive girl. At least, at first. Charlie was...kind. Far too kind for someone born and raised in hell. She genuinely cared and worried for the dirty filth of this wretched land as if there was actually something to save. That is to say: she was kind to him. She was still slightly creeped out by his overall demeanor but she was still kind and sweet and caring. She liked to talk to him even though Alastor would sometimes say some disturbing shit, she thanked him for his help even though he told her to her face that he thought her dreams where foolish, and she overall seemed to actually enjoy his company.
She reminded him of his mother.
That's it! That's all I'm giving you guys because if I keep going I'm gunna end up writing a whole fic about it ๐
14 notes
ยท
View notes
|| ๐โข Song lyrics from Hazbin Hotel Season 1 that I think we NEED to be paying more attention to because โpotential foreshadowing reasonsโ:
โข Husk in โLoser, Babyโ:
โI sold my soul to save my power!โ
โข Charlie in โFinaleโ:
โSo long as Iโve got ALL OF YOU WITH ME!โ
(Following line(s) โIt starts with you. You know itโs true. Fulfil your destiny.โ)
โข Alastor in โFinaleโ:
โIโm hungry for freedom like never before. The constraints of my deal surely have a backdoor. Once I figure out my to unclip my wings. Guess who will be pulling all strings!โ
โข Vox and Valentino in โStayed Goneโ:
โThat fuckerโs back!โ
โYeah I thought he was gone for good, tooโฆโ
โโฆyou still pissed he almost beat you that time?โ
โข Alastor in โStayed Goneโ:
โAnd hereโs the sugar on the cream. He asked me to join his team!โ
โข Angel Dust in โPoisonโ:
โWish I had something to live for tomorrow.โ
โข Alastor in โReady for Thisโ:
โSheโs filled with potential that I could guide.โ
45 notes
ยท
View notes