#childfrees

[mundo-sem-pirralhos]

Somos apenas cópias de uma matéria orgânica consciente, frágil a qualquer alteração e perecível.

O mundo é como uma chuva de óvulos e espermatozoides. MARIANA OLIVEIRA

Mariana Oliveira

Metaforicamente, a gestação parece como um processo parasitário ou um tumor, algo que começa pequeno, germina e cresce, alterando o corpo que o hospeda. A procriação é como uma colônia de bactérias, prolifera massivamente, consumindo recursos e transformando o organismo que o abriga. Essa imagem diz muito mais que mil palavras.

Clarice Winnie

Eu costumo dizer que o parto é o momento da "morte" da mulher. É o momento em que a mulher sacrifica a própria vida para gerar um novo ser pro mundo. É uma morte simbólica, mas que pode acontecer no sentido literal da palavra. Inclusive eu perdi uma prima e uma amiga em decorrência de complicações no parto e violência obstétrica. A natureza é cruel, e as pessoas também. Não tem nada de romântico em gerar um ser humano.

POR ISO Q EU SEMPRE CHAMEI DE MORTENIDADE SKSKSK, NAO TEM NADA DE BOM EM PARIR, PROCRIAR. SO OS SADICOS, IRRESPONSÁVEIS, FD PS, VE ISSO COMO BENEFICIOS MSMS E LINDO.. ME

[flora-tea]

Actually, no.

You don't owe your parents/guardians anything for raising you.

You don't owe them in-laws.

You don't owe them grandkids.

You don't owe them favors.

It's your life!

You decide how you want to live it.

You decide what you want or don't want in your life.

[animentality]

[thepeacefulgarden]

[cafiffle]

semi-related to all this is my creeping realization that there is very little space in our culture for actual children, because even Things For Kids are immediately leapt on and run into the ground by (sometimes) well-meaning adults. kids are slammed with capitalist messaging, urged to partake in the things for which their parents are nostalgic, expected to conform and fit into a world that at best doesn't give a fuck about them and at worst is actively hostile

be nice to kids and teens please, they've got it rough

[4evrgreeny]

[asynca]

I'd like to provide another perspective to "don't tell people who don't want children that they will want kids one day".

I'm actually the person they're talking about. I was very certain I didn't want kids as a teenager. Very certain in my 20s. Very certain, almost militantly anti-having kids in my 30s. In fact, my wife and I bonded over not wanting children.

Then, at 38, we changed our minds at the last minute and ended up having two kids and being super happy with the choice.

However, I think I lost like 75% of my friends as a result. I had friends straight up tell me "it feels like a betrayal" for us deciding to have kids. In those words. I had people no longer have any interest in my life - in more than just a 'drift into different interests because we're doing different things' way. In a "fuck you" way.

It super hurt, but I think it's very much influenced by how marginalised women (and perhaps also other genders) who choose not to have children are. If people weren't treated paternalistically over the choice not to have children and treated like they didn't know and understand their own minds, it wouldn't have caused such a knee-jerk reaction in these people when I decided to. It wouldn't feel like I was proving all the assholes right just by changing my mind. It wouldn't feel like I was betraying them and 'selling out' when I decided I wanted kids.

Treating people like they don't know their minds with regards to not wanting kids hurts them if they continue not to want kids, but it will also impact people who eventually decide to have kids.

Part of the reason I second-guessed myself for an entire year about wanting kids was because I wasn't sure if I really wanted them or I was caving to external pressure, and the other part was feeling like I was proving the paternalistic assholes right by changing my mind.

Believe people when they say they want kids... but also allow them (and yourself) the flexibility to understand that sometimes people change in ways they themselves don't expect to.

[feministfang]

I heard somewhere that south korean grandmothers who were not given access to education in their times are now being enrolled in educational institutions because the declining birth rate is causing a shortage in students for the korean education system. Idk if this true or not but another reason for us to stay childfree. Way to go Korean feminists! 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

[mundo-sem-pirralhos]

Walid Middleman

Estamos salvando nossos filhos desta terra, que está cheia de perigos, e ao mesmo tempo estamos salvando a terra da maldade dos humanos Ninguém pode prever o futuro de seu filho e ninguém tem garantias de que seu filho não será mau, um bandido e uma fraude no futuro.

o futuro de todos sempre será a morte, e a procriação da vida pra morte!

everyone's future will always be death, and the procreation of life for death!

[timbitshockey]

my biggest disconnect from hockey fandom at large probably has to be the way people think it’s somehow weird or a secret sign of something that sid and kathy aren’t married and don’t have kids. i see this constantly on twitter. guys. guys? not everyone wants to get married or have kids. guys this is really normal. guys please tell me you understand people can not want to get married and not want to have kids for a million reasons and “because one of them is actually a closeted homosexual” is really, really far down the list. ‘someone give this man a baby!!!’ if he wanted one he’d have one you know this right. he’s not being kept away from a happy life like a prisoner you know this. ‘why does he stand so far away from her in pictures’ because that’s where he was standing when they took the picture what are you even trying to imply. guys you have to tell me you understand that not everyone wants to get married and not everyone wants to have kids. you HAVE to tell me or i’m revoking your twitter access. you’re going to edge into rainbow bondage bear territory if you’re not careful i’m just trying to look out for you

[animentality]

[bpderanged]

Parents aren't selfless. What they call "sacrifice" is just taking responsibility for a decision they made.

You chose to have a kid, now deal with it. That's not noble, that's simple cause and effect. You're not some martyr for doing what the choice required.

You're not owed praise just because you reproduced. Millions of people out there are doing the same. You're far from special.

[harmoonix]

Astrology can sometimes point out 'generational breakers' in someone's chart by looking at some placements, like Lilith, Saturn, Chiron, North Node + Soutu Node, and some more. Generational Breakers can have an ultimate task indicating not wanting kids, not having the desire to have them, ending with a generational ender/bloodline ender

[mikajupiterjonesingtimcurryfeet]

human logic:

[younggayanddoingokay]

Say what you will about being childfree, but at least when I say shit like “nobody else would put up with you, you ungrateful little menace” to my cat, I don’t set off a cycle of parental trauma that lasts for generations

[artemisia-black]

I always caveat these posts by saying that we shouldn’t make assumptions about morality or character based on people’s fandom opinions or what tropes/ships they enjoy, but asking questions about broad fandom tropes does make inquiries about where in wider culture certain beliefs/tropes have filtered in from.

So here’s one: Why is it that Fandom logic = motherhood makes female characters boring, but fatherhood is so interesting that wolfstar raises Harry, Jegulus raises harry, rosekiller raises Neville…. Perhaps the slytherin skittles start a day care?

Why is caregiving character development for men, but character erosion for women?

And I also completely acknowledge that wanting to explore alternative non heteronormative family structures is big a reason behind this trend (and that is not what this discursive post is talking about). Plus in canon, motherhood is heavily idealised and there is an inherent desire to unpick and unpack that, but resisting the idealisation of motherhood shouldn’t mean we erase it altogether.

But this trope does play out against a wider cultural backdrop, too. We’re living in a time where people (fuelled and in response to alt right discourse) are presenting extreme takes on motherhood: that it’s either sacred and natural (and the only thing a woman’s body is good for- which also then fuels gender essentialism) or inherently repressive and patriarchal. Fandom’s treatment of mothers often reflects that same polarisationn; either pedestal or disposal. Rarely do we get the messy, complex middle where motherhood is just part of a woman’s story.

It also speaks to a broader media pattern here too: domestic labour and parental sacrifice- it’s all seen as mundane in women (because it is coded as the default for mothers) but when a man does it, and then suddenly it’s praiseworthy.

Fandom isn’t activism but I enjoy unpacking trends and what they speak to in the broader social landscape.