#christians have no damn business closing all their shit at once | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

uzuitengensfourthwife · 3 years

Text

Roommate (Suguru Daishou x fem!Reader) College AU

Warnings: some teasing, my bad writing but other than that none

Word count: 2371

Authors note: and this too was written back in October LKADNHDJF Im so sorry but this just had to be posted here at some point, so why not now? *proceeds to lip bite* Anyways lmao skdnnf I think suguru is so damn underrated and he isnt even as bad as people might think he is so yeah, here is my oh so badly written suguru fanfic. Enjoy!!

(2 months ago)

It was Friday evening, a day you and your roommate usually binge-watched movies and series, but not today. The sudden change in plans was a change you didn't want. After all, the change of plans meant helping your roommate to pack his stuff and help him bring it into his new Unit. A Unit that was far away from his previous one and it made you feel dejected. You wouldn't be able to see him that often anymore and for once you grew close to someone outside of Japan.

, Ow c'mon Y/N. Don't be sad. I bet your new roommate will be nice as well.'' You let out a grown as you let yourself fall down on your bed. , Yeah but he's not you and you're like my only friend here in the Unit.'' Christian let out a chuckle and then suddenly got up from his kneeling position, getting his backpack and suitcase. , Well, you'll be alright, '' he threw some of his last stuff in his backpack. ,,After all my new Unit isn't even that far away.'' - ,,Christian, what is 'not far away' about 30 fucking minutes?'' you huffed in annoyance, sitting up again death glaring your 'ex' roommate. His laugh filled up the room as he threw his backpack over his shoulder, it was time for him to go, and then again you felt miserable. You wanted him to stay, but it was his decision after all. After two full years with Christian you knew you weren't the reason why he left, he left for other plausible reasons.

,, Alright let me help you then.'' You announced, grabbing one of his bags opening the door for him. A smile was plastered across his face as he walked past you with all his belongings. Letting out a last sigh you followed him, hoping your future roommate would be as subtle as Christian...

After helping Christian carrying and unpacking his stuff in his new Unit, you just made it back to your Unit. You were tired and felt like a piece of shit. Christian was one of the only people you interacted with on campus and the only one in your unit. The rest of your friends attended Universities in Japan, mostly in Tokyo or Osaka, just the minimum was somewhere outside of Japan, including you. Moreover, it was hard for you to find friends since you lacked in social skills. And having a new roommate would totally throw you off, you didn't even know how you wanted to welcome him, you were just too socially awkward for this.

So when you finally opened the door to your little 'apartment' and discovered a new pair of shoes next to all of your shoes, you freaked out. He was already here and you literally had nothing to offer him. Not even goddamn chewing gum. This would most definitely turn into some second hand embarrasment, you were sure about it. You closed the door when you suddenly heard footsteps slowly coming your way. ,,I'm really sorry that I just barged in but you weren't here so I let myself in.'' There he was, standing in front of you. You recognised him right away. Suguru Daisho, the high school rival of a friend of yours. ,,Well well, if that isn't our Miss Nekoma Manager, Y/N it is, right?'' he leaned onto to wall, giving you one of his smug smirks.

,,Of all people, it really just had to be you, huh?'' you spat out ironically, slipping out of your shoes as you walked up to him. ,,Ouch Y/N, you hurt my heart.'' Letting out a fake sob, he touched his chest and tried to look as hurt as possible which made you sigh out in annoyance, so you walk past him showing no reaction. ,,Jesus, you're no fun.'' - ,, Never intended to be fun, especially when it comes to you.'' As you replied to his complaint, you just plopped down on the little couch, already missing Christian. You really were so close to just change units as well. It hadn't even been 5 minutes yet, but here you are already considering to move out. What an awful day you had. And your next years in Uni would get even worse with him as your roommate.

But things turned out quite differently.

You imagined living with Suguru must be the most annoying thing ever, but you were so wrong. First, you really thought he was just trying to get on your sweet side and then act like an asshole again, but you started to reconsider when he brought home some chocolates for you. It wasn't just that, no he did so much more for you, and all of that in just two months.

He cooked for you, whenever he had time. When you woke up every morning, there was breakfast on the table. He helped you with studying and kept his distance whenever he knew you needed some time for yourself. And most importantly, he never invited friends over, since it didn't take him long to find out you just couldn't interact with people. Of course his teasing side would come out sometimes, leaving some comments here and there, but he changed and not only by a bit no, he changed a lot and even for the better.

Living with him was easier than you thought.

And yet, yet the old things would obviously come back because today you wanted to tell Kuroo, who was and still is one of your best friends from high school, that Suguru was your roommate. God, you were nervous. You knew Kuroo has always hated him and he will most definitely not stop hating him, even despite the fact that you grew quite close to him.

So when you pressed the 'call' button on your laptop, you really just didn't want to tell him, but you had to. Even if you wouldn't tell him now, he would find out somehow. You really wanted to tell him in person, rather than him finding out and then getting mad at you as well.

Once his faced showed up on your screen you smiled and waved, shoving away the nervousness you just had. ,,Hey Hey Tets!'' - ,,Hey! How're you doing over there?'' he smiled, taking a sip from the cup wich was located right next to him. ,,Well Im doing pretty good! How're you and the boys doing?'' Kuroo's face turned dark, making you worry, but once you've heard his answers you couldn't have expected less from such an idiot as him. ,,Well we're all doing pretty good.... and yet I feel broken, Kenma's ignoring me once again.'' He sobbed ironically, making you smile in an instant. You had to admit it, you missed the old times. The time you guys were still in Highschool, enjoying life and just having fun. But over all you just missed your friends, you always see them hanging out with each other, going on trips together while you were stuck with boredom and nothing but schoolwork. Of course your friends were part of the University life as well, however it seemed like they had much more time than you. Less worries than you.

,,You know Tets... I miss you guys a lot.'' You whispered as you nervously played with a stuffed animal, that was standing right next to your laptop. Showing affection wasn't really your thing, yet you missed your group of friends way too much to just ignore it like that. ,,Awe Y/N, we miss you too! Once you're back we're definitely going out somewhere! Oh and you should bring Christian as well!! Come to think of it.... where is Christian?''

You chocked on your saliva. ,,Oh god are you okay?'' Kuroo worriedly stated as you coughed. Why now, you had nearly forgotten about it, and yet all of the good had to come to an end. So when you finally stopped coughing you assured your friend that you were okay, but you most definitely weren't okay, you didn't even know where to start. You couldn't possibly just go ,,Ah yeah forgot to tell you, but Christian changed units. Suguru and I are now roommates.'.There was no way you could tell him. Literally no way.

But while you were overthinking this whole situation, suddenly Suguru made his entry.

,,Eyo Y/N can you-'' - ,, What is he doing here?'' Kuroo frantically yelled as he regocnised Suguru, pointing at him through your screen. Great, you thought. This could've gone better if you had the guts to bring it up earlier, but of course your friend had to find out like this. Luck was definetily not on your side today. ,,Oi roosterhead, still lying about your height huh?'' Suguru smirked as he placed himself right behind you, moving closer to the laptop. ,,Get lost.''Kuroo scoffed and now looked at you while still pointing at Suguru. ,,Why's he here?'' he repeated himself, not leaving you out of his sight once. Yet you looked away, trying to avoid his gaze as much as possible, you would even prefer hiding behind Suguru than sitting here. ,,He's my new roommate... Christian changed units.'' You whispered slowly looking back to see if he was still watching you.

Suguru took his chance and moved closer to you as he purred. ,,Wait, you didn't tell him babe?'' Oh god you forgot the petnames he had for you and you hated him for using them on you now. After he moved in and you finally got along pretty well, he started with all these ridiculous pet names, just like honey. And oh god...this was definitely not going to end well.

,,Can you tell him to fucking leave?'' Kuroo asked, seemingly annoyed of your roommates presence. ,,Alright alright I'll leave, just don't forget our business later.'' and with that he left your room.

The sudden awkward silence that was between you and your best friend was more than just uncomfortable for you. In fact, you hated it, you just wanted to disappear. ,,How long?'' He was the first one to finally break the silence and you knew he was upset, after all Suguru just walked in and you didn't tell him at all. ,,Two months..'' you whispered, full of regret. Kuroo then sighed, hand on his forehead as he leaned back to process what he has just heard. ,,Two months? God.... why didn't you tell me?'' - ,, Listen I was scared.... I know you don't like him but we got along so well..'' you stuttered, trying to avoid his gaze again. Honestly you were scared. All this time you were scared that you might lose your friend, although this might be a stupid reason to end a friendship, you were still terrified.

,,Hey that's fine Y/N, liking each other and having a relationship is fine! Im not even mad I promise!'' You looked at him as he smiled, to let you know that it was fine. All you could do was smile back and be thankful that he wasn't mad at you. ,,Oh and we're not really in a relationship..'' You stated and let out a nervous giggle. Kuroo on the other hand leaned in closer and then whispered. ,,Yeah right hon.'' - ,,Kuroo.'' You warned, holding up your finger just as you were about to scold him. ,,Anyways, seems like you have some unfinished business with the snake, so go for it.'' You huffed, ready to protest that there was no business to finish, but before you could tell him otherwise he disappeared from you screen.

Sighing out in annoyance, you got up from your chair to go scold your roommate for his bold words he has spoken during your videocall. So when you saw him doing some schoolwork you seated yourself in front of him, death glaring him. ,,Just what exactly were you thinking?''you hissed in such a sharp tone, that even suguru backed off for a second. But he quickly collected himself and leaned in closer just to smirk at you. ,,What do you mean babe?" he asked, his voice soft and unbothered. You groaned again, leaning in closer as well. ,,He thinks we have a thing." - ,,So?" his reply was bold, just like as if he didn't care about your current situation at all, which was weird to you since he usually never acted or talked to you this way.

You answered him, voice quiet. ,,So you're just going to leave it there?''

The confusion was plastered all over his face. You didn't really know what left him so confused, but you needed answers and as for that you waited for an answer. ,,Wait wait wait.'' he said, holding up both his hands. ,,Is that disappointment I hear?'' - ,,Never.'' You leaned back, looking away and thinking how to continue this conversation, which obviously seemed pointless to your roommate. But it wasn't pointless to you, your friend literally just hung up on you just because of this stupid statement the guy in front of you had made. ,,Why did you say these things? What did you even mean by unfinished business? That's not appropri-'' you got cut off midsentence. ,,We still haven't decided what we wanted to cook this weekend. That's what I meant babe.'' he stated, as he held up a paper with an amused expression.

,Oh' you mouthed, sitting there in embarrassment as you tried to avoid his gaze. The embarrassment just grew bigger as you realised what you were actually thinking about.

,,Well well, it's okay to have these thoughts about me. But next time you might as well share them with me.'' His grin grew bigger, putting down the paper he just lifted up a second ago. That's it, you thought, he has crossed the line. You then suddenly stood up, cheeks flushing red as you huffed out in annoyance once again. ,,You're the worst.'' you muttered, stomping away to your room in an instant, shutting your door. But something was odd. No, you... you felt something odd happening to you.

You then realised your fastened heartbeat, your hot cheeks, still flushed in a light pink shade,you...you were confused.

Just.... what... what was this feeling?

#daishou suguru #haikyu x reader #suguru x reader #daishou x y/n #haikyuu!!#suguru daisho x reader #daishou fluff #daishou #suguru #suguru daishō #haikyuu

35 notes · View notes

agustdef · 4 years

Text

Tiptoeing: Around You | m.

✰ Pairing: Christian Yu/Reader

› Genres: Smut, Fluff, Mildest of Angst

✰ Rating: 18+

› Warnings: Language

✰ Status: Oneshot

› In Collaboration: With @shadowsremedy who altered my plans a little, but I don’t mind it. Here is his fic, they’re both in the same universe: Tiptoeing: Around Love.

✰ Beta Read: @suhdays and @ppersonna

› Banner: @shadowsremedy

✰ Summary: YN has pined after Christian for a while, but after one more kick in the butt by her best friend and an evening in the same room she finally acts on those feelings.

› A/N: This fic was written for the sweet and mildly chaotic @dee-ehn for her birthday. You deserve the world, but since I cannot give you that we’re going to have to settle for some fictional content starring the ever handsome and rude Christian Yu. I hope you enjoy it love and I hope your day was great!

“Pft, you’re no better than me,” YN whispered into her phone.

There was a loud chuckle on the other side and then it stopped abruptly.

“Yeah, but at least I have a girlfriend. You’re out here acting like a lovesick puppy for a guy who is clearly into you. I don’t know how much sadder this can get at this point. It’s been months, YN,” Yoongi said.

Naturally, she rolled his eyes at his words. The fact that all of that was true mattered not. Or at least most of it was true, she wasn’t quite sure if Christian was into her. Everyone said he was and there were some signs, like flirting and being touchy but he was like that with a few of his close friends. That alone couldn’t be the indicator for his feelings. If they were feelings at all. For all she knew she and everyone else were seeing the signs of lust and not romantic feelings that led to a monogamous relationship.

At least that’s what the voice in her head told her when she got up the courage to think he actually liked her and planned to act on it. The pesky ass voice couldn’t let her have nice things.

Despite her clear acknowledgement of the factualness of what he said she couldn’t let him have the last word. It just wasn’t a true testament to their friendship if she didn’t try to gain the upper hand.

“Well, at least I’m not using fuckboy antics to get out of telling the person I’m dating I love them. You can’t use that psycho bitch, who tried to kill me might I add, as an excuse for why you don’t say it forever, Yoon. Especially since you know Jamie isn’t like that. But you gotta take the plunge and talk to her before too much time has passed and she won’t want to listen anymore.”

There was a brief silence before a dramatic sigh left his lips. YN could imagine the look on his face as he did it too. A mix of sadness, resignation, and annoyance at the fact that she was right. They wouldn’t be such close friends if they both didn’t hate being proven wrong while also understanding the other enough to know when it was the right moment to push it.

“Okay,” he whispered.

“What was that?”

“Okay! You’re right. But you need to stop tiptoeing around the subject and just tell him already. He likes you, let him know you feel the same way,” he said.

That got YN to sigh with about as much feeling as Yoongi had. Her body felt tired as she thought of having to speak those words, but she realized she really needed to get it over with. Even if she threw up in the process, it had to happen.

“Okay,” she mumbled.

“Hm? What was that?” he mocked her.

“Okay, damn. I’ll do it. So annoying.”

Again, he laughed and it made her happy to hear him not so down like he’d been for days. Of course, the laughter could only help so much, but it was better than nothing.

Biting her lower lip her head turned so she looked at the studio door where the man who she was losing it over was. He waited for her to bring in snacks and she’d stopped part way to call Yoongi about something unrelated to the conversation they had. One that she was so lost in that she didn’t realize twenty minutes more than needed had gone by.

“Shit, I have to go. I should have been back already. I’ll call you later. Love you. Bye.” she said.

Yoongi laughed. “Love you too.”

With that she hung up the call and took a deep breath before walking towards the studio door. Her hand grasped the knob for a few seconds as she took a deep breath and thought over Yoongi’s words. Maybe the all-nighter they planned was the right place or maybe it was the worst possible place for her to do that since she’d still have work to do if he reacted negatively.

When she finally opened the door and stepped in she’d decided to just see what happened. There would be no forcing herself to say anything about it or actively stopping herself. For once she’d go with the flow, with a bit of hope that she’d randomly get the urge to blurt it out like she sometimes did.

Upon her entry Christian’s head whipped up to look at her. He stared her down as she kicked off her shoes and made her way to her seat. The expression on his face didn’t give way to his thoughts, but she assumed he was confused as to why it took her so long to get back.

“You get lost?” he asked, taking the bag from her.

“Nope. Just had a phone call.”

Christian paused for a second, his brow raised in question.

“Yoongi?”

YN didn’t stop what she was doing for many people, especially when it came to work related things needing to be done. But Yoongi was her oldest friend and she’d hop on a plane without a moment's notice if he needed her. That meant that usually people could guess who she’d been talking to easily.

“Yeah. He wanted to whine some,” she said.

Her attention moved to the computer in front of her, which still held the work she’d left off on. Christian had messed with something a little, but for the most part had seemed to be focused on what went on upon his own screen. Something about what he was doing reminded her of a thing she’d forgotten with the clip was editing and despite the hunger that plagued her she went straight into work. Of course, she felt Christian’s eyes on her the whole time and heard him chewing away at the snacks in the bag but her mind hyper focused so none of that matter.

About fifteen minutes passed before her hands stopped moving and Christian used that to pull her chair for the desk. Her immediate reaction was to tell him off, but he shoved half of a sandwich towards her mouth and she found herself biting it without a thought. That brought a smug expression to his face, but she merely rolled her eyes and snatched the sandwich.

There was some small protest from him, but it stopped as she took another bite of the sandwich. YN was so hungry that she hadn’t really chewed anything or tasted it for that matter. She’d had little to eat throughout the day because they’d needed some last-minute shots and that left her running here and there. Anything consumed was burned off within an hour or two. Which is why Christian had offered they go get dinner first, but she knew a heavy meal would make her focus on editing harder. Food made her sleepy most of the time.

“Slow down,” Christian said, his Australian accent thickening with the worry in his tone.

But his warning was too late because she’d shoved the last piece into her mouth and swallowed it. Her hand reached for the other in his hand, but he gently pushed it away and handed her an opened water instead. She glared at him but drank down the water; though with the way he stared at her she stopped herself from downing half of it in a few seconds. Sips were slow and small until she felt her throat less dry.

“Now can I have the other half?” she asked, her voice sickly sweet and a pout on her lips.

For a moment Christian just stared his eyes focused on something on her face. At first, she wondered if she’d gotten anything on it while eating, but then she watched him bite his lower lip and his eyes flicker up to her’s and then down again. She thought that he had to be looking at her lips and her heart did a thing, though her mind wasn’t sure if it was him wanting to kiss her or something being on them. In a moment of uncertainty, she wiped at the lip and came up with nothing, but that seemed to be enough to snap Christian out of whatever trance he’d been in.

Without a word he passed her the other half of the sandwich and then got busy unwrapping his own. Silence followed with a few words spoken here and there when one of them stared at either screen long enough to have a question rise up. It was a good little break from YN’s thoughts about what happened minutes before and also got her mind ready for what she was going to do for the next several hours. Dread filled her, but knew it wasn’t impossible by any means.

“Ready?” Christian asked after finishing off his tea.

YN nodded and just like that they got to work.

Christian was to focus on piecing together a visual that would encompass the entire comeback the Dabin planned, while YN was focused on getting through the main music video. There were some others she had to do, but they were all shorter and didn’t need some of the magic that the main one did. Part of her cursed the team for being so damn ambitious, but it kept her on her toes so she couldn’t complain. Well, wouldn’t complain until she felt the urge to pull out her hair because something wasn’t working.

But for once she went through her edits without any real roadblocks. She navigated the things that they’d talked about adding and her own ideas for things to flow seamlessly. There were a few snags here and there, but they were nothing that she couldn’t fix in a few minutes or that Christian couldn’t help her with.

They’d long learned to work together fluidly so all of it came easily.

A few hours in YN pulled her headphones off and pushed her chair away from the desk. Carefully, she stood up and stretched her body since it got a little stiff from sitting in one position for so long. Once she’d properly given them the movement they needed a yawn ripped free from her lips and she felt a wave of tiredness hit her. Of course, she wasn’t done by any means.

“I’m going to get something hot and something with caffeine from the kitchen, you want anything?” she asked.

Christian didn’t respond so she poked him hard and repeated herself, he shook his head no without ever glancing her way. She knew he’d complain later, but she didn’t have it in her to pester him, so she slipped on a pair of slides near the door and ventured out.

The kitchen in the building DPR was set up in wasn’t too far from Christian’s studio, in fact she walked back fifteen feet to get to it. Something she was thankful about because despite being in motion she felt her body grow more tired as each second passed. It’s why she was quick to grab an energy drink from the fridge and down that thing. It was followed by the consumption of red ginseng because it always helped her in some way. Or at least she placebo effected herself into that thought. After she moved to make herself some hot chocolate. Thankfully, they had a Keurig, so she didn’t have to worry about heating water herself. By the time it was done she’d gotten a few large marshmallows from her hidden stash and happily deposited on top of the hot, chocolatey liquid.

With her energy drinks consumed and her hot beverage ready she made her way back to the room. She took care not to spill any of the drink and sat it down on the small table that Christian kept over on her side. It was where she sat all her drinks or food out of fear that she would knock it over if it were on the desk with all the equipment.

The moment her butt hit the chair there was a frustrated grunt and Christian all but threw his headphones down. His right hand moved to card through his hair and his eyes closed as he let out a harsh breath.

“What’s wrong?” she asked as she moved closer.

There was no response, but she waited for him to get his bearings. Sometimes editing made you so annoyed that words failed to come together right away. There had been many instances where someone asked her questions and all they got in return was grunts or her starting a word only to scream halfway through.

A minute or two went by before he opened his eyes and spoke up.

“I just can’t get it to transition like I want. I’ve been trying different methods for the last hour and assumed I wanted to try out all the options, but they just fuckin’ suck. I don’t want it to suck. It needs to not suck.”

“I doubt it sucks, let me see,” she said as she moved even closer.

However, Christian was having none of it and knocked his chair into hers so she’d go back onto her side. He was stubborn as hell when in a mindset of defeat, so she had to be persistent. She knocked chairs with him a few more times before getting up. Before he could steady himself she pushed it back and it rolled almost to the door. Standing she leaned over and looked at what he had. Nothing sucked per se, but she could see what his issue was.

She got several clicks in before he protested again.

“I’ll just choose one and come back to it tomorrow or something. It’s fine, you have your own stuff to work on.”

“Shh.”

“Did you just shh me?” he asked incredulously.

Rolling her eyes she turned around to glare at him but froze up when she realized he was standing and doing it awfully close to her. His head was tilted down as he stared at her and with the way she’d held her head up high their faces where maybe an inch apart.

In an instant the atmosphere changed and YN did not know what to do. Part of her screamed to back away quickly and the other part of her wanted her to close the gap. The voices in her head were at war and then she noticed his eyes on her lips again and threw out all fear.

As she leaned closer Christian did too and soon enough their lips were pressed against each other. The initial kiss was chastise, something to test the waters, but once they got comfortable with it the intensity grew. Their heads tilted and their bodies pressed closer together. Soon enough YN’s fingers were threaded in his hair and his hands caressed her hips and ass.

With her lips on his all thoughts kind of left her, besides how soft they were and how she wished she’d kissed him sooner. And how she didn’t want to stop doing it.

Christian squeezed her ass a little too hard though and in retaliation she slowed the kiss and bit his lower lip. When he stilled she worried about if he didn’t like that, but then he released a sound akin to a growl. His lips were on hers again in seconds and she got so wrapped up in the kiss that she didn’t realize that he’d started lowering onto his chair and bringing her with him. She didn’t start to pay attention until he had her straddle one of his thighs.

He wasted no time with subtlety bouncing that thigh causing a bit of friction between her legs. It was bearable for a while but then he pressed a little hard and her lips parted as a gasp escaped them. Christian took that as a chance to slip his tongue into her mouth, swirling around hers. Though compliant with all his actions YN did try to gain control of the kiss, but all it took was another firm grazing of her crotch to have her moaning out. One bounce in particular had her pulling away from his lips.

But just because she stopped didn’t mean that Christian did, his lips went to kiss along her collarbone which was readily exposed in the off the shoulder top she wore. The feeling of them on her skin sent a shiver up her spine and inadvertently had her grinding down on his thigh, which only got her even more excited.

Her pleasure must have been apparent because once again Christian’s hands were on her hips. Unlike before though he used that leverage to move her along his thigh. With his lips still kissing across her shoulder and neck he moved her back and forth, ensuring he was pressing down enough that she could feel the friction despite her shorts.

The pace was slow at first, but it was enough to ensure that YN was growing wetter by the second. Her body felt on fire and it didn’t help when Christian began to suckle hickies onto her. She felt very stimulated and that’s what caused her to cry out in pleasure when he began to speed up the pace.

“Fuck,” she said.

“Oh, we’ll definitely get to that, but why don’t you take over and ride my thigh, baby? Get yourself worked up for me,” he whispered in her ear, slowly pulling away but not before biting gently on the lobe.

YN did not need to be told twice. Her hands moved to his shoulders and she sat firmly on his thigh before dragging herself back and forth. At first, she was frustrated because she couldn’t find the right amount of pressure to feel anything worthwhile, but before she could give up Christian started guiding her.

“Just like that. Yeah, you’re doing so good for me. Keep going and you can pick up the pace. Make yourself feel good,” he said.

There was no verbal response from YN besides the moans she released when the friction truly started up. Goosebumps covered her skin the more she got into, her body tingled and she wanted more. Craved more.

But the look in Christian’s eyes as he watched her get herself off was too good a sight. His eyes had darkened a bit and she could see the lust in them. It didn’t help that he was biting his lower lip as his eyes remained firmly on the thigh she was on. He was enjoying the show and she wanted to give him more, so she kept going and her pace quickened again.

Though her pace change was also out of desperation. She’d gotten worked up quickly and despite how good his thigh felt her orgasm felt out of reach. Getting closer to it was all she wanted, so she moved with a vigor that could get her there.

That didn’t fly with Christian though, his hands held her still.

“No, no. You are not cumming on my thigh. You’re doing that with me inside of you,” he said.

YN groaned. “Then get inside of me.”

That elicited a laugh from him and made YN finally look directly into his eyes. He appeared very amused by how she’d responded.

“I should have known you’d be just as bossy like this.”

Naturally, that ended with her lightly slapping his shoulder which brought on more laughter from him. She was ready to get off his lap after that but yet again he held her in place.

The thing was that unlike before the expression on his face was softer and less like that of a man who said she would only cum on his dick.

“I know this is ruining the moment, but before I bend you over this desk and fuck you until you can’t walk I want to be very clear with you. I want to be with you. This is not me just fucking you because I find you attractive as hell. Got it?” he said.

Though she wanted to roll her eyes at his delivery she couldn’t help but smile as happiness filled her. Hearing him say it made her night and she would stay like she was or cuddled up to him for the rest of the evening, but there was a persistent problem still between her legs.

She leaned forward and leaned towards his ear to whisper, “And I want to be with you, but we can discuss that later. For now you have a problem to fix and a lot to prove if you think you’re going to put me on bedrest tomorrow.”

It didn’t take long for him to get her off his lap. He barked orders about getting off her shorts and panties while he ran out of the room for a moment. By the time he returned she was undressed on her lower half and bent over on the desk. Her legs were spread slightly and it gave him the view of her glistening pussy, just like she wanted.

“Shit,” he mumbled.

YN tried to keep the laughter from escaping her at his reaction knowing he’d probably tease her if she did. There was no time for all that, she needed him inside her as soon as possible.

Once she heard the sound of pants unzipping and dropping she felt herself perk up. Her ass rose up a little more and that seemed to pull another groan from Christian who sounded like he was fumbling with something behind her. She was going to ask if he needed help but then she felt the head of his dick press against her slit and she moaned.

Slowly he moved it between the lips of her pussy causing her to push back wanting more. The feeling was so good, but she still needed him to go further. Thankfully, he didn’t keep her waiting for long. Before she could fully process it he’d pushed inside of her completely. There was some discomfort from the sudden intrusion–one that was the first of its kind in a year–but he didn’t move and she adjusted fast. The stretch still felt a bit odd, but not something she hated. In fact, she loved the feeling of being full of him.

“You can move,” she said.

He didn’t need to be told twice because in the next second he was moving at a moderate pace. His hips moved back and forth, while one hand on her back kept him balanced.

YN’s eyes fluttered closed as she focused on the feeling of him. She’d been worked up enough that she was more than prepared for him, but also enough that she was sensitive. It wasn’t the same level as if she’d orgasmed, but it was enough to have her feeling extra with every stroke.

After several thrusts at that speed Christian suddenly sped up out of nowhere. It was enough that her hips moved away from the desk and hit against it every time he slammed back into her. It was a little painful, but the feeling of his dick pushing into her and hitting just the right spot made up for it. Her moans had been soft before, but with each thrust she grew louder.

At some point she was almost screaming out because of the brutal pace, but that didn’t mean that he slowed down. In all honesty it felt like he went harder and she loved every second of it. Wanted him to never stop.

And because she was so focused on how he felt she didn’t notice the tightening in her stomach and the way she was close to the edge until she was over it. Her eyes opened wide as her orgasm crashed through her.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” she said.

Despite the clear indication that she’d come Christian didn’t stop. His pace slowed down some, but he kept pistoning into her. As she finished the last moment of her high the sensitivity set in, but she found herself building up again. Her pussy wanted a break, but she wanted him to keep going.

While she was ready to stay bent over for him until he came, Christian had other plans. Using his right arm he wrapped it around her torso and pulled her up so her back was against his chest. That hand moved down to rub her clit, something that had hips bucking because it felt like too much. She squirmed a lot, but then his left hand came around to wrap around her throat and she stilled.

“You’re going to give me another one, right?” he asked, though she knew it wasn’t up for discussion.

“Yes.”

“Good girl.”

Without another word spoken by either of them he kept her how she was and continued to thrust into her, but his intense pace from before returned. His hand continued to rub and pinch her clit, which caused her to vibrate in pleasure. Plus, his hand remained around her throat squeezing every so often and she loved it more than she cared to admit. So much that her next orgasm came a little quicker than the last.

There was a weird feeling in her stomach though, but she had no time to assess it before she came. Her pussy spasmed and then she felt an intense pressure before she felt her thigh grow wet.

She’d squirted all over his dick and herself.

“Fuck, definitely going to have to do that again some other time,” he murmured.

YN didn’t even have it in her to respond to him, she just relaxed against her body as he continued fucking her. It took a minute or two before his precision slipped and she heard him moan out. He didn’t stop until he finished cumming and then he just stood there, his chest rising and falling heavily against her.

Three minutes passed with them like that before YN said something.

“We can’t stand here all night. Also, I’m so tired from this and working, we gotta rap this up.”

Christian laughed, but pulled out. From there YN leaned against the desk trying to orient herself. In that time Christian had discarded the condom and pulled his pants back up. He helped her do the same, though he didn’t bother fixing her pants completely. H

Carefully he turned her around to face him and smiled at her clearly exhausted, but happy face.

“How about we take showers, get changed, and call it a night? If you want you can stay at mine and we can start first thing in the morning,” he said.

Not one second was wasted debating it, YN just nodded in agreement.

“If I can shower and sleep I’ll be happy.”

That made Christian smile wider and then he leaned down to press a quick kiss to her lips. He moved away to lead the way out, but YN took one step before reaching out to grip his arm. Worry colored his expression and then when he noticed the way her legs seemed to shake a little a smirk made its way onto his face.

“What was that about me having to prove something?” he asked.

“Fuck you.”

#danicaday #kwritersworldnet #christian yu x reader #christian x reader #christian yu smut #christian yu fluff #dpr ian x reader #christian yu #dpr ian #yu barom #khh fanfic #krnb fanfic #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction #fanfic #fan fiction

888 notes · View notes

jetaime-jespere · 3 years

Text

Prompt #15

#15: Don’t Tempt Me

Smut.

A special thank you to @sweetsecretskeptinside for the inspo pic (and the 3:30 AM conversation that led to this little thing)

In 7.21, Emily says, No, I don't have a fear of owning stuff. Turn me loose in a shoe store, I'll prove that. So, we know she loves a good pair of shoes. Well, what would happen if Emily were in fact turned loose in a shoe store, only to come home to a curious Aaron?

Aaron is about three quarters of the way through a basketball game on TV when he hears the door open, announcing her arrival. “I’m back,” Emily calls through the narrow hallway, keys jingling from her wrist as she closes the door behind her. “Aaron? Where are you?”

He hears the thump of her shoes coming off, the soft swish of her jacket being hung up. He smiles, because even though it’s only been a few hours, he’s much happier now that she’s back. “In here,” he calls over the hum of the game as he finishes the last of the beer on the end table. “Watching the game.” Not that he actually cares too much - but there isn’t much else on at the moment, and it’s been just a little too quiet.

“Someone had a busy day,” Emily says in jest when she takes in the sight of him sprawled across the couch, while taking note of the spotless living room with appreciation. All the toys normally strewn about are cleaned up and tucked away, blankets neatly folded on the back of the couch. There’s a bag dangling from each of her slender wrists - two long white handles, brown and nondescript, with elegant white lettering across the side. Emily sets both down next to the couch, coming up next to him and looping her arms around his neck. “Hi,” she murmurs, kissing the sharp ridge of his jaw. “I’m sorry I’m so late getting back. Traffic outside McLean was awful.”

“That’s Northern Virginia at rush hour for you,” He quips, looking slightly amused, because she was supposed to be home almost an hour ago. “Did you have fun shopping at least?”

“Yeah,” she says casually, settling on the couch beside him, draping her legs over his lap. “It was crowded though. You’d think it was a holiday.”

“Get anything good?” Aaron massages her ankles, trying to appear interested in whatever she’d purchased. She’d gone out with JJ and Penelope a few hours before, giving him a few hours to run some desperately needed errands. There’s hardly any food in his fridge - they’ve been slammed with cases one right after the other for the last two weeks - and his place was in dire need of a cleaning. With Jack at a friend’s house for the afternoon it was perfect timing, but he’s expected back home at any time. There are dinner plans to figure out; Aaron promised his son the three of them would watch a movie, one that Jack gets to pick.

“You could say so,” Emily says coyly, reaching for the magazine in his hands. She flips through a few pages, even if her attention isn’t on it at all. Instead, Aaron feels her stare from across the couch, the subtle shift of the weight of her legs in his lap. The smile on her face and the lift of her eyebrows tells him she wants him to ask just what she got.

He relents, because her insistence has his interest piqued, and he wonders just what could be so fascinating about a standard day of shopping with JJ and Penelope. It’s something they do fairly often, sometimes coupled with drinks and dinner, or sometimes with brunch. Those trips usually end with her slightly tipsy, something he finds endearingly adorable. And while he still isn’t completely comfortable with the fact this his name most definitely comes up more than once, he looks past it now. “What did you get?”

“Some shoes.” Emily says casually, with a slight shrug. “I didn’t see much else.” But she’s reaching for the bags on the floor, the brown paper crinkling under her fingers. “Want to see? You think you can tear yourself away from the TV for a few minutes?”

There are two boxes in Emily’s lap. Both are brown, matching the bag, with the same logo embossed in the middle. Each box is wrapped with a red ribbon on the ends, and he frowns, thinking the whole presentation is a little … ostentatious.

But she’s already undoing the ribbons, popping the lids off the boxes. The first box contains a pair of high heels, black, with high sharp heels and an unnatural looking arch. They look ridiculously uncomfortable, yet something tells him she’d pull them off without question. The other pair are even less than practical - a pair of slingbacks with bows on the back, with even higher heels. They look like the kind of shoes that could break an ankle. And yet she’s watching him intently, gauging his reaction with an expression that he might label as pleased.

Where the hell would she ever wear those? His mind starts to wander with possibilities, and it dawns on him they’re not supposed to be practical. They’re fuck me shoes. “Are they supposed to …” Aaron blinks with confusion as he studies the ridiculously impractical pairs of shoes, nestled in wrapping paper, both with red painted soles. “Are the bottoms supposed to be red?”

Emily laughs lightly, and Aaron can’t help but wonder if this is one of those things he’s just somehow supposed to magically know - not that he knows remotely anything about womens’ fashion. Haley’s taste in clothes had always been relatively practical, and given their line of work, he can count on one hand the number of times he’s seen Emily actually dressed up, much to his chagrin. “It’s the designer’s trademark, Aaron.”

He narrows his eyes with confusion. “Red soles?”

“Mmhm.”

“But no one sees the soles of your shoes,” he points out logically. “Besides, don’t you have a few other ones that look just like this?” He isn’t quite sure he sees the need for multiple pairs of black high heels that basically all look the same, even though the more he stares at the shoes, the more he can’t help but think about what she’d look like wearing these particular pairs.

“So? Emily looks very pleased with herself. “They’re an investment piece, Aaron. Christian Louboutin is timeless and classic.”

“Christian Lou - what?” He completely butchers the word Louboutin, struggling with the French pronunciation that seems to roll off her tongue so easily. Emily laughs softly, patiently pronouncing the word again, and then again. Something about hearing her speak French makes his mouth go dry, and he swallows thickly as she neatly wraps the shoes back up in the boxes.

Something else catches his eye - the pricetag - and he makes a conscious effort to keep his jaw firmly closed. “Emily,” he says evenly, even though he’s certain he’s seeing an extra zero he shouldn’t. “Tell me those shoes were not seven hundred dollars.” He pinches the bridge of his nose with disbelief, a slight shake of his head. “You bought two pairs.”

“Actually,” she says with an air of indifference. “The ones with the bows were seven hundred. The others were on sale for six.”

“Six hundred dollars for a pair of shoes?” He sounds incredulous, probably because he is. He’s no stranger to the fact that Emily was raised with an abundance of wealth and with that, probably comes some appreciation for the finer things. And not that he cares one bit about how she spends her money, but the thought just seems completely absurd to him.

“You know,” she begins slowly, batting her eyelashes with a mere shake of her head. “I’m sure you’d appreciate them more if you saw them on me.” And then her fingers drop to her shirt, beginning to undo the top button, then the next. “What do you think?”

It’s his turn to smirk, the slightest lick of his lips with his tongue as he meets her gaze with a look in his eyes that matches her own. “What are you -”

“Daddy?” The excited voice coming from the foyer tears them out of the moment completely, and Emily practically bolts off the couch in surprise, as if they’ve been caught doing something they shouldn’t. Shit. She hurriedly buttons her shirt, taking a few precautionary steps away from Aaron out of habit. Jack is still hanging up his coat, chattering animatedly about his afternoon, running through a rather long list of potential movie options. Aaron gets up from the couch, pecking Emily on the cheek with a slightly apologetic look. “Next time?”

“Next time,” she agrees, practically purrs in his ear, pressing her body up against his. She stands on tiptoe to kiss his cheek, letting her teeth scrape against his earlobe as she disappears with the boxes in her hands, putting an extra sway in her hips along the way.

…

“Not here,” Aaron tells her for the third time, this time more firmly. They’re milking drinks at a roundtop table in the middle of an ALS Benefit a few days later. They’re there for Dave, like every year, and for some reason, he’s just not feeling it tonight. It’s warm in the room, he doesn’t feel like dancing, and not to mention, Emily has been goading him since they arrived.

“Come on,” Emily coaxes him with a wink from across the table, a glass of red wine in her hand. “You’re no fun, you know.”

“In case you haven’t noticed, our colleagues happen to be in or around the vicinity of this room.” Aaron takes a sip of his drink, this time downing most of the glass. The drinks are a little too strong, the music is a little too loud, and he’s already having trouble concentrating on anything, thanks to the fact that Emily has stayed within his line of sight almost all evening. It’s intentional, that much he knows. The rest of the team has dissipated, spread out amongst the crowd, mingling with the other guests. He knows they should probably do the same. After this drink, he tells himself.

“But I’m wearing the shoes.” It’s the way she says it, locking her eyes with his. But he already knows - he’d noticed as they walked into the hotel two hours before.

“Don’t tempt me,” he hisses just a little more forcefully, wishing he had a fresh drink to occupy his hands. “We’ve got another two hours at this thing.” He’s doing his damn best to keep his eyes forward instead of staring at her, but that’s getting harder. She’d decided on the black dress after a careful deliberation, showing him the various options she’d pulled from the depths of her closet. They’d barely made it out the door on time.

“There’s plenty of open rooms,” she tries again. “Nobody will notice we’re gone.” As if to prove her point, Emily tips her head in the direction of the band, where Strauss and Dave are all but tearing up the dance floor. “Look at them.”

Aaron nods, stifling a laugh in his fist. “Sometimes I still can’t believe they’re together.”

“It’s been going on for years,” Emily snickers. “Dave used to think he was subtle about it. He wasn’t. But good for him.” She tips her head back, exposing the side of her neck. Something inside of him snaps, his mind made up, because before he can stop himself, he’s wrapping his hand around her elbow, giving her a gentle shove through the crowd of people.

“Aaron, what are you -”

“Let’s go,” he growls in her ear, pressing a hand into the small of her back to lead her closer to the door. It’s risky at best and a bad idea at the worst, but what the hell? He thinks, leaning forward to get a trace of her perfume on the back of her neck.

Emily grins to herself, her eyes locked on the door just ahead of them, and she’s grateful for the dimmed lights in the ballroom - no one will even notice they’re gone. The hallway is hushed quiet compared to the booming of the music on the other side of the door, and they stare at each other for a brief moment. “Here,” he says, taking her hand. There are multiple closed doors that lead to empty conference rooms; Aaron leads her to the one at the far end of the hall.

“I thought I wasn’t supposed to tempt you.” Emily flutters her eyelashes, her fingers lingering on his face as she slips past him through the doors. This is a bad idea, they both think, not for the first time, and yet, neither of them are about to put an end to it.

“Too late.” Aaron closes the door and adds the lock for good measure, spinning on his heel to face her. Emily licks her lips, backs up until her back is against the wall, all but cornering herself as he nearly rips his own suit jacket off, throwing it against the table. He’s eying her almost ferally, staring at her legs and the damn shoes. His jaw is set in determination as he moves toward her. “I’m going to take you apart.”

Damn, Emily thinks, her eyes widening as Aaron gets a hand around her waist, pulling her into him. He bypasses her mouth entirely, going right for her neck. She gasps as his teeth drag over her skin, his hands impatient as he goes for the zipper at the back of her dress.

“Don’t rip it,” she breathes, arching her back as his fingers dance down her spine, pulling the little metal tab down to the small of her back. “It was expen-”

“Shhh.” He covers her lips with his own, smiling a little when she moans into his mouth, her body bowing into his. Aaron gets his hands around her hips, walks them back and around until he can lean her against the large credenza in the corner, pulling the dress down over her shoulders. Her breath hitches as the cool air hits her skin; it pebbles as his hands slide around to work the clasp; it snaps free in one go.

“I’m impressed,” Emily drawls with a grin as it falls away.

“This isn’t my first rodeo, you know.” He leans her back even further, going with her as her back hits the top of the table. He takes one breast in his mouth, alternating the pressure of his mouth until she keens into the air, her hands pulling at the fabric of his expensive dress shirt. Emily gets a hand in his hair, urging him to keep going. He switches to the other breast, repeating the same pattern with his mouth. “You’re perfect,” he breathes, cupping his hands around her jaw when he stands straight to kiss her again. “So perfect.”

Emily smiles, already starting to work the buttons of his dress shirt. “There’s lipstick on this,” she murmurs, finding the imprints of her lips on the collar. “I guess we weren’t very subtle earlier.”

“I don’t care.” He gets the shirt off his shoulders, then lifts her up just enough to get the dress past her hips and over her head. She’s left in nothing but those damn shoes that make her legs look endless, and some impractical, lacy underwear that matches the bra that’s now discarded on the floor. He stands back to look at her, an equal mix of adoration and lust. It takes little effort to lift her up, setting her on the top of the credenza, coming to stand between her legs. He runs his hands over her thighs, down her calves, closing around her ankles, admiring her, smirking when he sees the shoes again. Emily rests on her elbows, watching as he kisses the insides of her knees, her stomach quivering with effort to remain semi-upright.

“The shoes,” he says as he props her legs on his shoulders, watching her for a few moments. “Stay on.”

All she can do is nod, her heart fluttering in her chest as he tugs on either side of the lace at her hips, dragging it down over her legs. On the pile it goes, and when she’s finally completely bare before him save for a ridiculously expensive pair of high heels, her legs bent around his shoulders, does she seemingly realize where they are, her eyes sparkling. “If anyone hears us,” Emily breathes, “I’m blaming you.”

“Then keep quiet,” he says with a wink, spreading her thighs even further open with his shoulders. He kisses each thigh, taking his time to build her up until Emily presses the spikes of her heels into his shoulders. He only smiles against her, one long, slow lick of his tongue follows a moment later. Emily whines as he drags her closer to his mouth.

“Hurry up,” she pants with anticipation, and as if on cue, he touches his lips to her clit just enough to make her back arch and her eyes fall shut. “Fuck,” she groans, tugging at his hair with both hands, and when his tongue becomes an insistent pulsing rhythm, Emily lets out a loud whimper, one that reverberates through the conference room. Aaron pushes her over once; she comes against his mouth hard, her legs shaking on his shoulders as the heels nearly pierce his skin. He rears back, encircling her ankles with gentle fingers, staring down at her.

“So much for keeping quiet, Sweetheart.” He’s taunting her, loosening his hold on one ankle as he pulls at his belt. Emily’ head rolls back against the table, biting her lip when his pants are added to the pile. He palms himself in his hand, lining himself up with her as Emily wraps her legs around his waist. Aaron smiles when he feels the spikes of her heels dig into his lower back; he kisses her in tandem with the initial thrust inside of her. Emily whimpers into his mouth, bringing a hand to grip his shoulder for leverage as he pushes all the way in one smooth press of his hips.

“Oh fuck,” she whines, and he runs a finger over her lips to remind her of volume. She’s making these little noises, clenching around him, tilting her hips forward to meet his shallow thrusts. “Harder.” She tightens her legs around his back, bringing him impossibly close, and he’s more than happy to appease her. And he does, driving into her deliberately and forcefully as she hums in pleasure around him. Her nails scrape down his back, he winds an arm around her waist to keep her steady as those damn shoes remind him of how tightly her legs are locked around his hips.

Jesus Christ. “Emily.” Each drive of his hips sends the table into the wall. “Come for me.” He gets a hand between them, swipes his thumb over her clit a few times and it’s all it takes to send her over again, the near scream in his ear. She clenches around him like a vice, her moans muffled by the seal of his mouth around hers. He kisses her through her second climax, his own coming quickly, and one final push of his hips and the rasp of her name on his lips. It takes more strength than he anticipated to keep himself upright, and his arms shake with effort as he cleans her up with a tissue from his pocket. Aaron helps her down, making sure her legs don’t give out beneath her in the unforgiving shoes, beginning the now arduous task of searching for their clothes. Even with the closed door they hear the boom of music, indicating the party is still going strong.

“We should make this a yearly thing,” Emily says with a wicked grin, tossing his jacket in his direction. “No one even missed us.”

He pretends to consider it, wondering if there’s any truth to her words. They’ve been gone awhile; certainly by now someone might be wondering. His jaw flexes as he watches her rearrange her bra, getting the dress over her head and past her hips. And as his eyes wander down her legs to the expensive shoes, the ones with the name he still can’t pronounce, he knows he’ll never be able to deny her. “Fine. But only if you wear those again.”

#hotchniss #aaron hotchner x emily prentiss #hotchniss fanfiction #smut #writing smut at 5 am what else is new #i'm making myself late for work with this one but oh well

87 notes · View notes

fishmongeringstudies · 3 years

Text

six: wandering the city while waiting for a train that'll never come, you stop to wave at a dog on the street only to realize you have mistaken a crumpled bag of mcdonald's for a chihuahua

i almost slipped and died in the shower today. luckily i didn't, because i read somewhere that slipping and dying in the shower makes it a little hard for you to finish writing a manuscript for a novel fictionalizing the events of your freshman spring semester that's definitely going to become a new york times bestseller in about four years' time, but i came pretty close. for a moment i had my hand on the wall and my legs splayed like a barbie doll stuck to a stripper pole and the matchbox world behind the shower curtain was slipping steadily south and heading lower still. and then i caught myself.

several minutes later i heard scuffling beyond the pale, soapy shower curtain and thought there might be someone creeping on me. if someone was creeping on me i had an idea of who it might be, which made the prospect all the more likely and infinitely more convincing inside the grapefruit-sized thing i called my brain. then i heard the clap of god's hands in an ashen sky, and i knew. this was no man made disaster-in-waiting. it had begun to rain.

it didn't rain for long. five minutes at best, two if my grasp on the spatial-temporal continuum is worse than i'd imagined (this is very likely; the stars pass me by faster than i can count them these days), but long enough that anyone who happened to be outside when that first teardrop fell from the sky got a little wet. a little fucked up, if you will, which, hey. good for him. he deserves to get a little fucked up.

but i get carried away. please excuse my personal grievances. this is not a lament, it is a swimming pool. full of tiny colorful fish which flit around at its bottom, chasing strands of sunlight like children on a playground.

the weather forecast says it'll rain again tomorrow, and maybe the day after, too, if the world stays sad enough to let it happen. it makes me nostalgic. when i left in february monsoon season was in full swing, tearing trees from their roots with big meaty hands and making every fleeting boring moment into the kind of gray sunday afternoon on which i imagine the directors of romantic dramas like to shoot break-ups. rain in singapore looks different. it's not a bucket full of water, it's a room. a blue room against a silver sky. your socks stuck to your ankles with the kind of grim determination that makes you almost a little sad to peel them off, to toss them in the washing machine behind the kitchen. there's a little balcony behind the kitchen in the house you left in february, with a washing machine and a ledge for sitting on and a dryer that doesn't work. you used to go there when you wanted to check on the restaurant across the street. from here you can make out the round, blue-rimmed tables that attract students, biking enthusiasts, three am brawls between red-faced european men and their red-faced european friends. if there's noise on this side of the street, it's probably coming from there.

summer. summer reminds me of home. so far i've been telling people that the association is a bad one, and it certainly isn't a lie, but it's not a whole truth either, if one believes in the matter of whole truths to begin with. i'm starting to think maybe there are only skim-milk truths, clotted cream truths, 0% fat yogurt truths. truths that change shape when you aren't looking. we aren't looking most of the time, after all. we're very busy people. all of us. we're trying to change the world.

and for what? who are we trying to save? do you want to live forever? that's the goal, isn't it. i mean it's definitely mine. i won't blame you if the concept of death sits on your shoulder like a fourth generation ipod touch with a broken home button, whispering really fucked up shit into your ear when you're alone. i mean it definitely does for me.

puzzle-girl is in new york now, last i checked. good for her. i hear new york is full of lights and electricity and car exhaust. maybe one day she will learn that friendship isn't an emergency help-line. probably not. my friend thinks she will, thinks we'll come back around in our junior year and everyone will see us stuck to each other again like two grotesque modern art pieces drilled back-to-back into a museum exhibit wall only with a firm mutual understanding of what boundaries are, but i have my doubts.

once someone told me with the kind of half-fake half-genuine smile that makes you wonder if AI technology has advanced far enough to mimic the complexities of stupid hormonal teenagers with really bad interpersonal issues after all that i was blooming. coincidentally all the flowers on campus had suddenly decided to poke their heads out of the dirt like babies busting their way out of refrigerators, guns blazing, hearts shot to pieces, so it's not like he was completely bullshitting me. he was only ninety-eight percent bullshitting me. the two percent is why he comes up in my writing as often as he does, all this time later. like i think he was ninety-eight percent clown but two percent circus, two percent red-nosed reindeer trying to unionize behind a striped curtain, two percent something real. or at least i like to think that way. i'm a writer. we have to pretend there's something to write about. or else what will we write about?

so yeah. one time someone told me i was blooming. at the time i was embarrassed. and then after the story put an abrupt end to itself i was madly obsessed with the idea of flowers jutting out of cracks in the earth, gold pouring forth from blood-wounds, poinsettia eyes, whatever, whatever, and then the flowers started wilting. standing on the path outside my dorm i was like what the fuck? why the hell is everything dying? it's been like three days, god, what are you guys made of, tissue paper?

i was talking to the flowers. which died in spite of my indignation, so that's one for nature, zero for me. good for them. see you next spring, when things will, hopefully, be different. i don't have a plan as much as i have a dream i'd like to see walk into reality on three legs and a pitchfork. but it's a good dream. i promise.

the sky's clear as glass now. it's so bright i could probably stick my hand up there and stir vigorously and then an angel would emerge from the ether, rubbing her eye sleepily with the back of her hand. that's the kind of clarity i'm talking about. making metaphors about christianity-clarity. i am lonely and my dreams are full of beautiful people-clarity.

that's a lie-clarity. loneliness is, as mentioned in a previous installment of the meandering car accident i call this blog, a choice, and i'm too lazy and full of my own slew of interpersonal issues to commit to something like that. but summer is new, and it's like i'm getting used to the body in my basement all over again. how do i step around it, how do i make sure i don't look at its face? and its eyes, oh, those eyes. how terrible. how full of absence.

there will be exactly two hundred students on campus when summer move-ins are finished next week. this school has a population of nearly sixteen hundred. what are we doing?

research. academia. learning a new language. road trips. plane trips. horse riding lessons. research. academia. learning a new language. relationships. spaceships. building a ladder to the moon.

it feels like the sun never sets sometimes. the hours slide into one another like tectonic plates beneath the surface of the world and yet the sky remains just as it looked this afternoon, milk-white and pale as death. a hot summer wind blows and sends the clouds careening sideways into each other, and yet from this distance nothing changes. drop a body in a bathtub and nothing changes. beat someone up and nothing changes. survive thirteen weeks of bad mistakes and then worse ones, midnight mistakes, thursday evening mistakes, the kind of mistake you don't think you'll ever be able to write about, and still nothing changes.

they say there's always a silver lining but what if i want fur instead? let's say i want a fur-lined sky with fur-lined clouds and a little heart-shaped toy that makes a sound when you step on it. let's say i want to be fifteen again. the sky doesn't care. it still looks like a damn sky. the sky doesn't do things out of sentimentality.

it's just kind of there. today i'm just kind of here. today we're all alive. good for you. good for me. good thing my hand was on the wall when i slipped in the shower, so i could get out and dry my hair and then sit down in this shitty weird-smelling lounge with my laptop with the cracked touchpad and my cool elmo slippers, and tell you about this solitary life on mars.

05.26.2021

#i just realized i put my mask on inside out. luckily i have been alone in this lounge for thirty minutes and it is a new mask #so minimal damage has been done but shame on me anyway. i will go reflect in the shame corner now

26 notes · View notes

angelaiswriting · 3 years

Text

Undercover | Bandit x fem!reader

[video by Yogendra Singh from Pexels]

✏️ Pairing: Bandit x fem!reader

✏️ Summary: In which Dominic realizes he's fallen too hard for a woman during an undercover mission and he doesn't think he's fit to work for Rainbow anymore.

🎁 A/N: I wrote this for @kind-wolf‘s birthday but she gave me the okay to post it, so hopefully y’all will enjoy it too 💛

✏️ Warnings: slight angst, 18+ only? idk (the sex is generally only implied but there are some paragraphs in which it’s a little less implied), also a dash of fluff?

✏️ Word-count: 11,555

UNDERCOVER

There was something about early-morning runs that just calmed his nerves, even with music blasting in his ears. There was something in the way his trainers would rhythmically slap against the ground; something in the burning in his lungs, in the way the wind would blow against his face every now and then…

The British countryside expanded to infinity on his runs and it erased anything Hereford Base inevitably brought along—training sessions, mission calls, even more simulations, and then endless tests to pieces of equipment that he surely had not missed while on his last undercover mission.

He didn’t think much about it. About the mission. He always tried his best not to, although he did so unconsciously, probably more out of habit than anything else. It was never easy, to go back to a daily routine that didn’t feel yours anymore, to a routine you couldn’t recognize after having pretended to be someone else for the past six years. Some things just get to your head at some point, and going back to who you had once been feels like being reborn completely, and into someone you can’t recognize. You wake up one day, and you find yourself being forced to put on yet another mask, with the only exception that this is no mask. This is your face. Who you are. Or who you’re supposed to be, at least.

And although most likely unprofessional, this was how Dominic Brunsmeier still felt, six months after his mission had come to its end. He woke up every day and for the first, endless minutes he simply lied there, staring at a ceiling he had problems recognizing, with the reality that he was thousands of miles away from Germany hanging like Damocles’ sword above his head. His ears still subconsciously strained for the sound of two dogs’ nails ticking against the tiles of the floor to come to say good morning, and his left hand still stretched out to feel for someone who wasn’t there—who would never be there again.

That’s why running helped. It emptied his mind—and it also filled his lungs with the smell of wet grass and dirt. And although he still turned around to check behind his back every few minutes in search for furry snouts—one of the habits he had developed in the past life he had been forced to leave behind—, it was getting better, and the music in his ear pods seemed to be starting to do the trick.

Sometime later, when he got back to the Base, he was somewhat ready to be a Rainbow operator once again. At least for that day.

The truth was, he had somehow grown almost detached from anything and anyone Rainbow. He would do something, and then he’d mentally compare it to how he did it before. The way his morning coffee would taste; the way her laundry detergent would smell fresh and somehow cozy; how peaceful car trips would feel, almost as though he could lose himself into one of them for the rest of his life. Now his coffee was just Marius’s boring blend, and the detergent they used in the laundry at the base had no scent. And when he did end up tagging along on short weekend trips, there was no dog whining ecstatically in the back of the car and trying to lick his neck.

“How was your run?”

Monika was looking at him from above the file she was reading—a mission report, a test session report, he didn’t know and he also found himself not caring. That life still felt alien to him.

He shrugged. “Good.” He had somehow become a man of few words, and he had also started to realize that maybe undercover missions weren’t for him. Not anymore, at least. Maybe he had let this one get to him a bit too much, and everyone he had met had grown under his skin without him wanting so and he still did somehow feel like he had betrayed his family, sent them all to jail.

It was a stupid thought—he tried to remind himself of that every time that feeling came up, but maybe he just wasn’t cut for long undercover missions anymore. He didn’t remember when it had become difficult to tell right from wrong, but it had happened, and every time his mind stopped on that period of his life, he found himself growing homesick for a home he never had, not there.

“Just good?”

Elias was there, too. Of fucking course, he would be there. He had been keeping an eye on him for a few weeks now, and Dominic was too much of an expert not to notice. It hadn’t been a surprise to see him enter the kitchen a minute or two after he had.

“Just good,” he nodded

There was some staring, then. Dominic stared at Elias because he wanted to be left alone, and Elias stared at Dominic because he wanted to understand what the problem was, so that he could help his friend. It was all useless, though, and they both knew it: one had closed off too securely to let on anything—or let anyone in, and the other was too stubborn to just stop caring about someone he loved.

That afternoon, though, he was running some errands in town with Marius when a dog stopped right in front of him to sniff his pants. It was a lovely animal, with fur of an almost bronze-red color and a tail that never once stopped wagging.

It brought him back in time, and for a moment he stood there, frozen and rooted to the spot. He could almost still feel the rain on his skin despite that exceptionally bright sunny day. But then, the Irish setter’s owner called Bonnie, let’s go! and Dominic was back to the present day, a bag with stuff he had bought at the hardware store just on the other side of the parking lot in one hand and a bunch of keys in the other.

“Everything alright with you?” Marius asked when Dominic reached him. He had been waiting for him, leaning against the door of the truck, and he hadn’t missed the way his friend had grown rigid. It didn’t matter how much pride Dom felt at the idea of being good at hiding feelings: there was always someone that saw right through his shit. And called him out on it.

“I used to have two dogs,” he blurted out with a smile on his face before he could stop himself. They were both loading bags into the trunk of the car and he hadn’t even felt the words slip through his lips that they were already out there in the open. But the memory had hit him with the same force of a freight train, and he had found himself basking in that warm feeling that had started to blossom inside him at the memory. After all, he loved those two pests like his own kids.

He looked up, the feeling of being caught red-handed quickly seeping in, and he found that Marius had a weird look in his eyes as he watched his every move.

“You had two dogs?” his friend quoted, one hand reaching up for the back door of the car. He closed it shut, and the frown didn’t leave his face for a second. “Back during your mission, you mean?”

“Forget about it. It doesn’t matter. I shouldn’t have said it in the first place.” It had always been custom for him to not open up about his undercovers—the person he was when he was on one wasn’t the person he was when he came back to his real life, and that’s how things had to be.

“To hell with your bullshit!”

The first five minutes in the car, however, were spent in silence.

Dominic was still cursing himself mentally for opening his damn mouth—or his memory vault, for what it mattered. It had been the first time he had mentioned anything about her since his return—his return home his friends had cheered him with six months ago, but that homely feeling still had to make an appearance. She had become taboo, and he had done so to protect her—and himself, in a way, for not having to bring her up had seemed to be the most sensible way to forget all about her, at least back then.

But now here he was, catching himself just in time before worsening his case.

“Where are those dogs now?” Marius used the excuse of a red streetlight to speak again and when Dominic looked at him from the corner of his eye, he found his friend already staring.

A shrug of his shoulders will do the trick, or that was what he hoped. Unsuccessfully.

“You’ve barely put full sentences together outside of missions since you came back from Germany. And now you mention two dogs. That you owned, apparently.”

“I didn’t own them, they weren’t mine,” he corrected.

“Whose were they, then?”

The first time Dominic sees her is on a chilly early-April morning. It’s pouring rain outside, and she’s walking two dogs with nothing to shield her from the rain but an old sweatshirt.

It’s half past five in the morning and his first thought is: What the fuck is this girl doing out here in the rain?

He almost slows down his truck when he drives past her. Probably he should be a good person and ask her if she needs a ride, but this side of town is new to him and he doesn’t want to risk anything that would have Fabian put him on his boss’ black book the month after having been fully accepted into the gang.

She’s in his rearview mirror before he has the chance to think his civilized deed through. He finds himself staring for two seconds at most—red sweatshirt, jean shorts that are a tad bit out of season now, and two happy dogs that walk on either side of her without the need for a leash. Then, he’s pulling over and stopping the truck right before the closed garage door of his new two-bedroom house. He still has to fix it—along with other things inside—but Christian has been keeping him busy with errands and whatnot, and he’s lacked the time.

He’s barely out of the vehicle when there’s barking—short, quick barks in succession coming from two different dogs, defying the sound of the rain and the otherwise silence of the early morning. When he turns around, the girl’s dogs are running across the empty street, their owner right behind them, and they’re aiming at him, tails wagging happily and tongues lolling out from open mouths.

They don’t jump up as he expected them to, but they still do take their few seconds of freedom to sniff him up. His shoes, his legs, a hand—and all the while he’s getting soaked through just as much as the girl running over with two leashes in a hand is.

“Hey, buddy,” he coos, almost involuntarily, as he presents the bigger dog with the open palm of his left hand.

It looks like a nice mutt, the fur a shade of brown streaked with white and black, and it excitedly licks his skin after a moment of indecision.

“I’m so sorry.” When he looks up, the young woman is panting, a hand on her side as the other comes up to wipe the rain from her eyes. “C’mon, Otto, come here.”

The white dog with a chocolate-colored stain on the left side of his face is quickly put on his leash, and he sits still by his owner’s feet as she pries Rex from his hand.

“I’m sorry they’ve bothered you,” she offers, and then groans when she can’t seem to attach the leash to the ring in the dog’s collar. “They’re usually well-behaved.”

“No problem,” he smiles.

Rex lunges forward one last time to get a good-bye caress on his head before he eventually chooses to behave and steps back.

“They didn’t do anything but smell me up a bit, it’s all cool.”

She smiles. He smiles. Rex barks happily and turns back to nudge Otto, and both their tails are wild whips against the soaked grass-less ground of his short driveway. Then, she’s gone.

He stares as she runs down the street, thunder finally rolling up high in the steely sky, and he smiles when he hears her laugh and call for the dogs when the rain starts pouring stronger. Then he turns, walks around the back of his truck and up to his door, and leaves the world outside.

That night Dominic sat at the desk in his room. His things had been relocated to a smaller one while he had been away on his mission and although he would have probably complained once, he found that this new accommodation somehow suited him better now. It felt much more secluded and since it was in the newly-built dorm area where his buddies didn’t reside, it felt much calmer. It didn’t give him much need to lie.

And it didn’t give his friends the chance to see that most of his stuff was still in cardboard boxes he had yet to unpack. The mere thought seemed to overwhelm him somehow and even that night, all he did was stare at them for endless minutes before eventually begrudgingly opening his laptop.

The brief and vague chat with Marius that afternoon had given him that sort of push he needed to finally pull out the hard disks and SD cards he had hidden away but that still contained all the files he had to organize. It was nothing major, of course—that kind of stuff had been transferred onto Rainbow servers the moment he had set foot onto British ground, one could say. But he still had private stuff, videos and photographs he had never thought he’d one day keep, back when he had first taken them, but then again, here he was.

Part of his brain did know that wasn’t the smart thing to do, but when he plugged in the black hard disk with that owl sticker she had slapped on it one night after tipsy sex, he found that his hand hesitated on the mouse.

He had chuckled—even now, he could still hear the sound in the otherwise quiet room. It had been at the beginning of that thing that had slowly—and then more and more quickly, like an avalanche effect of some sort—turned into a relationship. Why? he had simply asked, putting his lighter back on the nightstand when she gave it a disgusted look. And she had laughed, too, and he had stared at her sweaty skin glistening in the light of his bedside lamp, at the way her messy bangs stuck to her forehead, and he thought that fuck, what the fuck was he doing? Because I felt like it, she had answered with a shrug and he had laughed deep in his chest before pulling her back over his body.

Maybe he could keep what was in there. He did not have to look, but maybe he’d keep those files stored away in some folder-in-a-folder kind of thing, hidden away from his eyes and hopefully from his mind, until he’d forget all about them. Until he’d stop being a spineless dick, murmured a mean voice in the back of his head.

“Fuck it!” he groaned, finally opening the main folder and watching as his old laptop loaded everything.

There were some pictures he had never stored away in their respective folders, and he suddenly remembered now that it was because he loved them. Loved those two dogs piled up on each other as they slept in his armchair. And loved the way she’d scream song lyrics using an almost-empty beer bottle as a microphone.

Those were memories—and damn good memories at that! There was no reason to shy away from them. Just as a reminder, he reasoned—something to keep for a long time so that it could remind him to keep his head on his shoulders next time he’d be assigned on some other undercover mission. Something that could tell him not to fall for a chick he’d eventually have to leave behind forever. Something that could prove to him that yes, he could enjoy things while living a lie, but that no, there were things he could not bring back home.

Like Rex and Otto.

Or like Y/N.

He meets her again two weeks later, when Fabian drags him along to a club to have fun and maybe get some pussy. Dominic’s not exactly in the mood for pussy for once, still exhausted after having come back from a quick ‘business trip’ to Austria with two other guys, but he doesn’t want to be the buzzkill. He’s also not been in the city long enough, so he’d rather fly low and not risk making even the slightest doubt arise.

So he goes. He dresses up in an all-black combo of pants and shirt, and meets his friend outside one of the clubs Christian owns. The air is warm, and the night traffic buzzes behind his back as Fabian leads him all the way up to the entrance while recounting the weird-ass trip Alex had the first time he did acid. Domi laughs along in all the right points and for a split second, before Julian lets them in without a question, he finds himself thinking that it isn’t so hard after all, to pretend to be someone he’s not every time Fabian’s around. The dude is chill, five or so years younger than he but just as crazy, and there’s this tiny voice in Dominic’s head that seems to whisper to him that they could actually be great pals if the situation and the setting were different.

“What’s your poison?” his friend of sorts asks as he takes him through the place and then to a table—not right up under the stage, but a bit in the back.

“Just beer,” is his reply. He didn’t think he’d be seeing girls perform when he left his house, but now that he’s here and he gets a glimpse of a redhead beauty before she disappears offstage, he’s not exactly opposed.

Fabian’s face is contorted into a grimace of confusion before it opens up into a grin as things seem to clear up in his head. “Oh, yeah, as a warm-up, I see!”

He laughs, leaning back against the seat before he shakes his head. “One of us gotta stay sober enough to take you home when you’re shit-faced,” he bites back, subtly implying to that one time, three months after Dom had officially become a rookie, when Fabian had ridden himself into a tree on his bike. The others had made him look after and take care of the younger idiot, and he had had to swallow down his pride and cater to any and all silly needs he had been presented with and that had felt like a setback in his undercover path.

A girl hurries by then, a serving platter with drinks in hand as she flags down another waitress and mouths something over the music of the new performance, and Fabian is quick at grabbing a hold of her forearm. When she turns around, an expression on her face that makes it clear she would be more than ready to throw hands, it takes Dominic half a minute to recognize her in this new setting.

“Come back to us later, Baby,” Fabian says, his hand moving to swat at her ass before she grabs a hold of it and presses down hard enough to make him wince.

“Don’t make me kick your ass.”

Dominic turns around when she walks past him and watches as she serves drinks at a table. She’s all smiles as she replies back to something she’s being told, and steps back a little when one of the men tries to stretch a hand out and touch her.

“Is that how you act with women?” he asks when he turns back around.

His friend laughs over a text he’s sending—probably to one of the other guys they’re supposed to meet here tonight, or probably to someone else entirely—Dominic does wonder about it, just as he wonders about many things when it comes to the Club, but he voices none of his thoughts. He never does.

“It’s not what you think,” he shrugs, grinning at him before glancing at the brunette performing on stage. He stares for a long while, and Dominic has the time to study some more of the details in the snake tattoo that crawls up the side of his neck and disappears into his hair. “She’s a friend.”

“She’s still not excited about you slapping her butt, though,” the girl in question chimes in when she finally reaches their table again, her serving platter now held securely against her abdomen. “But Fabian’s— Hey!” she grins, stopping mid-sentence when she seems to recognize him from that rainy early morning of fifteen or so days ago. “You’re the new guy on the block.”

“You know each other?”

“Sorta. The boys ran up to him when we were on a walk a few days ago,” she nods, eyes trailing down to where Domi’s left the first two buttons of his shirt undone, tattoos on full display underneath, before moving back to meet his.

Fabian’s pout distracts the both of them, and when she sets her eyes on him, he’s quick at letting out a childish complaint. “You never smile at me like that.”

“Don’t be a douche.” And then, to Dominic: “I’ll pay you real money if you drag him out of here.”

“Geez, women!” Fabian scoffs. “Anyway. Nic, this is Y/N. Y/N, this is Dominic.” He watches briefly as they shake hands before continuing. “She’s off-limits, unless she’ll somehow consider you worthy enough of her and her p— I’m just kidding, Angel!” he pleads, leaning away from her hand as she slaps at his shoulder. “C’mon, be a good girl.”

“You be a good boy and I might not spit in your drink.”

Dominic’s still thinking about her sometime later, after some of the guys have joined him and his company for tonight. They’re watching girls perform, but he’s unfocused. Even the beer in his hand has been forgotten for a while now, as his gaze finds itself being attracted back to the bar—or to wherever she is at the moment.

He stares, and even blatantly so, half listening to Fabian’s words echoing in his mind, and half ignoring them. She’s close to Christian, that’s what he knows: she used to be his sister’s best friend before the girl passed away a few years after finishing high school. And, as Fabian has half-heartedly complained more than once, she’s not that friendly with gang members—if you know what I mean, Nic. Not that he’s thinking about that with her! He barely even knows her. What he does know, however, is that there’s a file, back at Rainbow, that he has to fill with pieces of information he finds out here, and he’s starting to wonder what she could know.

And sometimes—every once in a while and almost covertly—she glances back and meets his eye, and when she finds him staring, she seems to stumble over her words for a heartbeat before the smile is back on her face and she turns her attention back to whatever patron she’s tending to.

He’s back the next Friday night, and the week after that, and on the third week, it starts becoming a habit. Fabian’s with him sometimes; sometimes it’s someone else, but more often—because he starts hanging out at the club on whatever free nights he has during the week—he goes on his own. He drinks, spends money on women, and goes as far as paying for personal dances—and maybe it becomes a bit too often, because one day Christian asks him—through Alex, because Christian’s too busy with a rival gang to do it in person—and mentions something about it.

But the more he sits in there, the closer he somehow seems to get to Y/N—and the closer she seems to get to him. It’s just smiles at first; even when he goes up to the bar to order drinks, she’s always too busy to focus on him only. But then they start exchanging a few words—and in the meantime they wave at each other from opposite sides of the road they live on, when they pass by—and then a few puns, until at some point, probably three, almost four months into his habitual trips to the club, she starts actively seeking him out. And if by any chance he’s absent on one of his regular nights, he finds her politely asking whether everything’s alright on the first night he’s back.

He missed that—missed his club nights and the dancers, even the waitresses. Y/N, of course, although he always did his best not to allow his brain to bring her up. But sometimes, out of the blue, the most random things would make one of the many memories he had stored away out of sight resurface and he found himself thinking about her. It would start subconsciously—with something someone said or did, or maybe it was something he saw in the window of a shop, or in one of the girls he’d find himself dancing with when his friends dragged him along. And then, when he caught himself red-handed, it was hard to stop. His brain would fixate on a memory and the more he willed himself to shift the focus of his attention onto something—anything—else, the harder it was to actually do it.

So, he turned his strategy around. He did that when he transferred all his secreted files onto his laptop—and then onto a new one yet again, when the old thing slowed down too much for him to be able to do work-related things on it. The reasoning was, if he kept those memories where he could easily reach them, then maybe they’d lose that hue of exceptionality and he’d get so used to them that it would finally be easier to coexist with them and all they had once meant.

And the next time Marius asked, tried to pull things out of him the same way he’d done with shards of glass after that one assignment in Bosnia, Dominic found himself loosening up. With him only, no one else for the time being, but it still felt liberating. Marius would listen, and he wouldn’t try to guilt-trip him the same way Domi had done to himself. He’d listen, and chime in every now and then, and then he’d stop asking when it was clear his friend wasn’t comfortable with continuing for now.

Y/N hadn’t come up yet. He told him about the dogs, and the guys—about Fabian most of all, and Markus, the two he had bonded with the most. He talked about the club—and he won’t lie, about the women there and the ones he had ended up in bed or against a wall with, as well. Not many, but enough to make Marius tease him for a while before he eventually relented.

But then one day, when most operators had been sent off on various missions, they decided to go on a trip. They took a Jeep car, loaded it with backpacks and food and tents, and took off for a week to spend camping far from the Base.

It had been quite a long couple of months—with training and simulations and tests, and even weeks spent abroad. And meetings in Harry’s office so that the Agency could see where Dominic’s loyalty lied, and how he was doing, how he was settling back into his old routine, now almost ten months after having come back from Germany. Which he… was, in a way. Settling back into his old routine, that is—everything was normal when he was working, at least.

But opening up to his Director wasn’t the same as opening up to his friend. And probably even Harry knew, or had at least come to that conclusion, for he had relented in his questions and had given him more free time, away from his Rainbow responsibilities.

“So, you were telling me about Fabian the other day.”

Marius’s voice shook him out of his thoughts, and Dominic found himself blinking a couple of times at the pale light of the sun that still had to fully rise. He felt almost as though he had dozed off, his tongue still heavy and laced with the slumber he had been forced to wake up from at two.

“What?” he mumbled, fumbling with his seat belt when he realized his friend had parked the car and it was now time to get out.

He had been sleeping poorly the past few days, with endless thoughts incessantly mulling around in his mind and keeping him awake. Stuff about Germany, but also stuff about Rainbow—missions and briefings and that upgrade he was helping Elias come up with for his shield. It all slowed him down, left him less reactive than he had been in a while, always dozing off when he was supposed to do something else. Even his morning runs had stopped being that nice a distraction.

The cup of coffee Marius pushed into his hands was hot, almost comforting in a way, and it sent a shiver throughout his whole body as they stood there, in the low, late-March temperatures. It was supposed to get warmer as the day progressed, or so the forecasts seemed to promise, and he surely found himself hoping for that to be the case.

“You were saying about how Fabian introduced you to this Angel dude,” Jäger insisted sometime later, when they had heaved their backpacks on their backs and locked the Jeep. They’d be back in a week—or that was the plan, but they both knew that if the weather would take a turn for the worst, they’d be back much sooner, neither of them willing to deal with storms and cold temperatures when they could feel warm somewhere else.

“Angel’s not a dude,” was Dominic’s chuckle.

The sun had finally risen and its light, although still pale, filtered in through the foliage of the forest, casting shapes on the ground and on their faces alike. The temperatures had gone up a bit, but Dom was still glad he had listened to Lera’s advice and had taken off with thermal clothes on.

“Angel is— was,” he quickly corrected himself, casting a quick glance at Marius, walking by his side, “my girlfriend… I guess.”

“You guess?” His friend frowned, not even taking his eyes off of the path they were currently trekking on. They still had quite a few kilometers to go before their next stop and he had absolutely no intention of spending them in silence, not now that Dominic seemed like he had slowly regained his ability to talk and let his tongue loose, although not in everyone’s company. But progress was progress, and he didn’t want to risk and ruin it.

Dominic shrugged. “I’m not sure Y/N and I ever officially defined the relationship.”

“Y/N… Angel, you mean?”

“Yeah, we called her that most of the time. Those dogs I told you about… they were hers.”

Marius nodded. Dominic had started to introduce him to bits and pieces of his undercover life—the clubs, the gang, the dogs, the speed races at night, the way Fabian would often crash on his couch when his partying got too wild and out-of-hand, or the way Markus, three years his junior, would often trail behind him like a lost puppy. It was never a chronological recollection of events, with some kind of thread that would link them together. Sometimes he’d ask questions, making sure to remain as vague as possible when it came to enquiring about someone’s life, and Domi would reply with what came to mind.

But now… Now he had slowly started to piece all those memories together, bit by bit, and he was seeing that it was not all black and white, the way some back at the Organization would make it out to be, but more like grayscale. The good and the bad would mix together in the same bowl, and it would make it hard for anybody to draw absolutes.

“Tell me something about her.”

Dominic’s sitting in Christian’s backyard for the first time in two years and a half. It’s something new, but at the same time it feels so familiar, in a weird and convoluted way, as he’s surrounded by people he knew nothing about just three years ago. He laughs at what his friends say, and even whistles with them when the girl Fabian has shown up with leaves in a hurry after printing the fingers of her left hand across his cheek.

“You truly can’t keep them for more than a week, can you?” Christian laughs, taking a sip from his beer as he and Marcel flip the meat on the barbeque.

Fabian groans. “Always pointing out the details, gee. Anyway!”

Some bickering ensues, and Dominic sits back against the seat of his plastic chair with the rim of his beer bottle grazing his lower lip, barely containing his laughter, but still trying his best because he’s usually the one taking Fabian’s sides—even if just out of pure sarcasm. It all only settles when Franziska walks out of the house, a bowl of salad in each hand, saying something about leaving the poor child alone, what are you? Five? before Marcel pulls her into his side for a kiss.

They’re cute—it’s a weird and intrusive thought as Dominic watches, eyes glinting with a badly concealed smile, but it’s also the truth. Franziska and Marcel are like opposite sides of the same coin, but they somehow fit so well together… He’d tell Marius that, years after that day, and he’d recall the way she’d look up into her lover’s eyes with such emotion that, before Y/N came along, it would have made him feel the pangs of jealousy stab his stomach.

“Ugh, lovebirds.” Markus rolls his eyes, and when Dominic turns his head to look at him, he adds a snort and a wave of his hand.

“Kids.” Marcel shakes his head at Domi, almost as though he knows just how Markus and Fabian can get, and Dominic’s the one who’s spending the most time with them. “Always moaning about what they don’t have.”

But no one’s that serious. They all sort of envy what Marcel has, but they cherish it most of all, and although there’s often some playful mocking during gatherings, Marcel still knows they’d all jump in front of his woman without batting an eyelash if that meant keeping her safe.

There’s commotion coming from inside the house, then. The old dog that had been snoozing by Christian’s feet lifts her head, barking low in the back of her throat, still sleepy, before two dogs dash outside and she’s suddenly chasing them on her three paws, long fluffy tail wagging.

The guys cheer the new-comers and although the white one—it takes Dom a while to recognize Otto, Angel’s dog—jumps and huffs to play with Christian’s Stella, the loud and cheering voices send the other one in a frenzy. Rex runs back and forth, tail wagging as hard as a whip, tongue two meters out of his snout. And it’s such a hilarious sight that it sends Dominic laughing with his other friends as the dog almost trips Eva and that jar of cold lemonade over.

Then, when Dominic’s regained enough breath to stop the wheezing and wipe the tears from his eyes with a hand, he calls him over. “Hey, Rex! C’mere!”

He has no time to see the surprise flash across his friends’ faces, for it’s all downhill from there. Rex stops dead in his tracks, front paws down on the grass to his elbows and butt up in the air, his tail still wagging wildly—and really, he doesn’t know how he hasn’t sprained it yet, or how he hasn’t taken off like in some cartoon. His head turns here and there for half a second before his caramel eyes zero in on him. Before Dominic has the time to beg Stop!, the dog is on him: The impact sends his empty beer bottle flying backward as the chair tips back, a leg snaps, and he’s suddenly half-laying, half-sitting almost horizontally with an ecstatic Rex licking his face and his beard, barely able to keep still in his arms.

The other two dogs are quick to join them, and before Dominic can turn his head to the side and see the way Christian kisses Y/N’s cheek hello or hear the way she groans out a fuck! before she can intervene, two more wet snouts blind and sniff at him.

Sometime later, as Markus is complaining under his breath about the ladies’ ‘rabbit food’, Dominic turns towards Fabian and half-says, half-asks: “I thought she didn’t do members.”

“Huh?” Fabian looks up from where he’s stuffing his face with pork ribs and Franziska’s salad, moaning for a second about how much I love fucking onions, God. But he’s quick at looking where Domi’s quick tilt of the head is pointing.

Y/N and Christian are sitting next to each other, heads close as they discuss something before she feels them staring and sends them a quick smile.

“Oh, no. No.” Fabian coughs as he tries not to choke on his food when he picks up with what Dom’s implying—Jeez, no, shit, Angel and Christian? He laughs, still breathless, and chugs down the glass of lemonade Verena’s poured him. “Nah, she’s like a sister to him. Same for her. It was hard for a while after Mia’s death. The gang…” But he shrugs, cuts himself off and trails his gaze back down on his plate. “It was rough. And they’ve grown real close, but there’s nothing more than fraternal love between them.”

Dominic nods. “Oh, okay.”

He’s thinking nothing of her—or is he? They’ve been hanging out quite a bit these past few weeks. He’s been over at her house for a leaking sink just last Saturday afternoon, and she’s made him stay longer so that they could eat dinner together, watch the wrestling match on TV. He’s not… into her like that, he thinks—yet. Because, really, he wouldn’t mind being.

“Why?” There’s a suggestive smirk growing on his friend’s face. “You thinking of—”

But he’s cut off when Christian calls Dominic and steals his attention. No one discusses business during this kind of gatherings, but there’s a look on the man and his right hand, Marcel’s faces that just makes him think he’ll be hearing from them not long after going back home that night. He’s already made great progress on his undercover assignment, but this truly does start feeling like a step in the right direction.

When the party’s over, that night after dinner, he ends up sitting in Y/N’s car as she takes both of them home. Her dogs would be all up in his neck if it weren’t for the shield provided by the passenger’s seat, and she’s apologizing—although with a grin on her face and a tone that doesn’t make her apology come out that sincere—about their behavior.

“I just don’t understand why they like you so much,” she muses. “Rex most of all.”

He shrugs. “I didn’t even know I was that good with dogs before these two.”

Years later, he’d tell Marius Streicher how pretty she looked, with her make-up slightly smudged and the hair locks that had escaped her now messy bun. How accessible she felt—and not even in a bad way, but more like, he could reach a hand out and poke her cheek with his fingertips, or trail his index along her hairline, down the curve of her ear and touch her piercings, or even just lean back against his seat and just, look at her. How peaceful the interior of her car felt.

He’d tell Marius how Rainbow didn’t exist back then. How it was just him and the wrong waitress he had started falling for. And at the same time, how he still had this thought in the back of his mind, constantly nagging him—what if he ended up blowing up his mission in smoke?

“You’re staring,” she’s saying, smiling, eyes still on the road ahead.

“And you’re blushing.”

If there’s one thing he’s learned about her during his countless nights at the same stupid club, then it’s that she doesn’t blush. Not when his eyes are glued to her. He has stared at her much more lewdly than he’s doing now, most of all with a few drinks too many in his stomach and in his system.

She shrugs, and when she stops the car and Dominic turns back around, he notices they’ve arrived at her house. “You should come in,” she says instead, already getting out of the car and opening the back door to let the dogs out. “You don’t have to,” she adds quickly when he gets out, too. And he can’t see her face now that she’s unlocking her entrance door, but he knows she’s still blushing. “Only if you want.”

He wouldn’t tell Marius how her lips felt against his, nor how the drinks they had in her kitchen tasted when her tongue brushed against his. How she felt in his lap, one of her hands on the back of his head and the other up his shirt, against his tattooed chest. How she ground her hips down against him just right and tore a grunt from deep inside his belly and that vibrated against her lips, making her smile.

He’d tell none of that, but his friend would still understand.

What he did tell Marius, however, as they laid under the starry sky, was that, somehow, no one had felt like her again. Not his random hook-ups, the ones he was guilty of picking either because he needed a distraction or because they reminded him of Angel, and not even Katie, that kindergarten teacher Seamus had introduced to him and with whom he had hung out for a month or so. Nothing serious, and he hadn’t even exactly put effort into it, but a part of him still had tried. More for Seamus’—or even just Katie’s—sake than his own.

It was exactly Katie that Marius brought up with a yawn. And when he asked what had been wrong with her—or, well, maybe not wrong per se but more, I don’t know, brother… Amiss?—Dominic had found himself scoffing.

Katie’s not her—but he didn’t say it out loud. He didn’t say how he had fallen for the way Y/N fought in the ring, how she grimaced or grinned, the way her braids would slap against a cheek or a shoulder when her movements would be too abrupt. He’d go to her after the fights, and sometimes still sweaty and bruised, she’d straight up fuck the living sanity out of him—a hand around his throat and the other on his chest to keep her balance as they went at it on either his or her couch.

“Katie was…” He thought it over, fighting with his words and his brain’s ability to pick the right one. “Too nice.”

Y/N hadn’t been just black or just white—she was a whole spectrum of grays, ranging from one end to the other of it. Soft and kind on any day; but then also fearless and strong when she needed to be, ready to raise hell and fight God when she had to.

Dominic would have never been able to picture Katie on a ring, taking blows and also giving them back, because that wasn’t who Katie was. And although there was absolutely nothing wrong with that, nothing wrong with being who you are, it just… wasn’t the same. He never found himself with his wrists tied to the headboard of Katie’s bed, with a blindfold over his eyes, almost holding his breath to see—feel—where she’d touch him next. Or how. Or even with what.

And probably that was why he couldn’t take Angel out of his mind—because he knew, deep down, that he wouldn’t be able to have her again. That she was gone, lost in a chapter of his life that he had reached the end of, and that he had left in the past. And although he did often go back to reread it, that was exactly all he could do—read, but never change a word of it.

“You still have time to add something more, though.”

He had almost dozed off to sleep, the exhaustion and exertion of that day’s worth of hiking catching up with him and his tired limbs. And it was only when Marius uttered those words that he realized he had spoken that inner monologue out loud into the darkness of the night.

The stars were blinking down at him, almost winking at his powerlessness in that situation. He wasn’t scared that she might cut his balls off and feed them to the wolves; nor that she might pull her hair back into two braids and teach him a lesson or two.

What stopped him from working was the very last voicemail she had left him, when she had called his German number for the last time. He had seen her cry—cry with laughter at some stupid joke, or sob her lungs out that one time they watched Marley and Me together, the mere idea of one day losing her dogs tearing her up from the inside out. But the way she had breathed into the phone, trying to hold back the sobs, and the way her voice had broken on every other syllable—Please, Domi, pick up. I don’t understand what’s going on, but I know you’re not with the others—it still wrecked him.

He had listened to it so many times that not only did he know every word by heart, but he could hear her voice—the way it cracked, when she’d sob, when Otto would whine in the background. And what was worse, was that he could see her with his mind’s eye—sitting in the empty tub, or on one of the stools in the kitchen, or even behind the wheel of her car. So strong and resolute… crumbling apart because all he had had to offer was a lie.

Or maybe not all—he had been honest with her. Honest the first time he had told her he loved her, and honest the last time he had professed his love. That hadn’t been a lie. The way he’d hold her at night, when she’d sleep with her head on his chest, or the way he had always been ready to pounce on way-too-daring customers at the club, or when he told her she was the light of his life—none of that had been a lie.

But everything surrounding that? His loyalty to the gang? To the guys? To Christian? His made-up past before he settled down in the city? The real reason he’d sometimes love to go on solo trips and enjoy some peace, when he was in fact meeting up with people from his real life?

“I had my chance,” he decided to say instead, closing his eyes against the night sky. He’d been out stargazing with her, once, the first time they had fucked. It had been sweet and peaceful, until it had turned hotter and messier and sweatier. If he stared up at those stars one minute longer, he knew it, he’d be back on that field, with her trapped between him and the plaid blanket, clothes strewn haphazardly all around. And that was the last thing he needed. “And I wasted it.”

He didn’t say how he wasted it by coming back, but the implicature was still out there, heavy and acrid in the otherwise fresh air of the mountains.

But there had been no backing out of it. Rainbow would have come; something would have been done anyway. At some point in his staying, things had moved too forward before his heart had been able to pick a side, and there had been nothing else he could do. He had broken her heart, but he had also broken his own, and that had been inevitable. A fate he had had zero chances escaping. They had found each other too late, and he’d probably die regretting anything about that case.

There was absolutely no going back there, but he had also started to think that his future didn’t lay in Rainbow anymore, either. It had become too much—and also too little, all at the same time. Gang life surely wasn’t for him, but he was starting to realize that his last undercover mission had ended up messing up with him a bit too much, and although it didn’t exactly interfere with the way he acted in Rainbow, it did with the vision he had of it—and of himself as part of it.

“I think I need a break from this,” he muttered into the night, eyes closed both out of tiredness and that lingering sort of embarrassment he felt any time he addressed how inadequate he now felt. “It’s almost been a year and I still haven’t been able to stop long enough to think.”

He didn’t know if Marius had turned to glance at him in the semi-darkness, before they turned off their torches to sleep, but he knew he had heard.

“What Angel? You’re a little minx,” Dominic chuckles, still out of breath, his chest burning with exhaustion every time it rises and falls. His sweaty back sticks to the leather seats of the car, and he knows the sensation she must be feeling can’t be much different.

But he doesn’t turn to look at her. His gaze is glued to her lace panties, hanging from the gear shift in the front. If he didn’t feel too boneless to lean forward and take her phone from the passenger’s seat, he’d for sure take a picture.

“Who are you calling little?” Her laugh is breathless, and when she moves around like a contortionist to sit up straight, her lips brush against the side of his neck, making his skin break out in gooseflesh and the short hair on the nape of his head tug. “I’m still taller than you with my heels on.”

Laughter rumbles deep in his chest, and he lets her pull his head back when she tugs on his hair with a hand. “Details, pretty doll.”

She doesn’t remind him how she’s kicked his butt just a couple of weeks ago during training and part of him is happy because all they’ve been using that accident as is some sort of foreplay that always ends up with her straddling him, making him tremble with the unexpected touches his blindfold always seems to heighten.

When her finger traces the underside of his cock, however, that chuckle dies on his lips and he gasps almost inaudibly in the back of his throat. Suddenly, his suit pants pulled down to mid-thigh feel constricting and he knows that if she keeps it up, he’ll be hard again soon.

“Don’t.” He didn’t intend for it to come out that way, but his prayer is soft on her lips, when she turns his head to the side to stare into his eyes. “We’re running late for the party.”

She shrugs—and he thinks that fuck, if this car didn’t feel this cramped, he’d fuck her brains out, party or no party, not even when it comes to his boss. “You made me come twice,” she replies, matter-of-factly, not at all moved by his begging or by his breath hitching in the back of his throat when her fingers move down to his balls. “I think it’s just fair I pay back the favor, no?”

His chest and neck are still flushed when he walks into the villa Christian has rented out for his New Year’s party. The initial surprise of Y/N caving in for a member has quickly subsided, and no one whistles in their direction when they see them walk in hand in hand.

They greet their friends, exchange quick hugs, and before long, they’re all drinking and chatting.

“You were late,” Christian says. The expression on his face is serious, but the left corner of his mouth is slowly twitching up into a smirk he manages to hide when he tips his head back and downs his shot.

Dominic shrugs, gaze wandering back to where Angel is catching up with Franziska and Verena, one leg crossed over the other, left bare by the slit in her dress. “Yeah,” he clears his throat, trying not to think about how her panties are still hanging from the gear shift of the car. “We had a setback.” He hesitates on that last word, for he tries to come up with something that could at least sound unassuming, but by God, the crotch of his pants feels like it’s growing tighter and he just knows kissing her won’t be the only thing he’ll be doing when the clock strikes midnight.

Christian laughs. “If my car smells like sex—”

“We rolled the windows down. We’re not animals,” he replies with a snort.

“Just… get it cleaned before you give it back.”

Y/N glances back at them then, eyes twinkling and lips still kiss-swollen and bruised under the lipstick she reapplied before getting out of the car, he’s sure. But before she can call him to her or he can walk up to her a bit stiffly of his own accord, Christian speaks again.

“We still have some time before dinner. There’s a meeting in the other room. Marcel has news on that seemingly lost package.”

Dominic turns around, brows furrowed in confusion, before his brain manages to quickly piece everything back together and he follows the other man down a corridor and into another room. He’s almost forgotten about the new cargo coming in—it’s been a feat lately, to remember he’s not actually one of them but an undercover agent trying to blow a gang up. It’s harder and harder, and he knows the lines aren’t blurred—not yet, at least—but it’s become way too easy, to lose himself in his new friendships and in the unexpected love he’s found here.

But when reality strikes back, it’s hard to distract his mind again.

Anton’s there—and while he isn’t the boss, he’s high up enough to be one of Rainbow’s main concerns. The oldest in the group, he’s rarely there, he rarely shows up. He does work behind the scenes, but that’s where he’d rather stay—away from the kids’ stupidity, or that’s how he always jokes about it.

He’s tall and strong—a whole wardrobe of a man, but Dominic’s still been promoted to be his bodyguard and he can’t help but feel a pang of something deep in his brain, and there’s this unsolicited thought bubbling up that makes him feel all sorts of ways. Maybe someone’s had some suspicions about him, and this is all a test—or this is what he thinks before Anton moves the wrong way and he’s forced to explain that the reason for that agonized groan is the extent of the injuries he’s incurred into not too long ago.

But then they’re all back for dinner, and Dominic doesn’t have time to bask in that wave of relief washing over him when he figures out there’s nothing to fear. They eat and drink and play stupid semi-drunk games, until it’s half an hour to midnight and Y/N has dragged him into a bathroom and unbuckled his belt.

It’s quick and messy, and his fingertips dig hard into the flesh of her hips as they stare into each other’s eyes in the mirror.

“I was thinking,” she hums, wrapped tight around his arm as he walks back with her at five minutes to midnight—enough time to make her come once more, or maybe twice, but Alex has promised a great pyrotechnic show and neither of them wants to miss how he almost gets himself blown up like last year.

“My thoughts are still in that bathroom and you tell me you’re thinking?” he chuckles, pressing a kiss to her cheek before he gives her hand a squeeze, almost as though he’s telling her to just continue.

“You dork,” she laughs. “But yes, I was thinking. Why don’t you move in with me?” she asks. “You’re already there most of the time, and your house is always messy and your couch not comfortable enough for…” She shrugs, trying her best to hide her smirk. “Plus, I’d really love to have you there.”

He feigns thinking about it, but when she gasps in mock shock, he pulls her in for a kiss—and that is when their friends must see and whistle. “I’d never say no to that, Angel.”

Her smile is bright and in the moment, he doesn’t even realize he doesn’t have forever with her, although that’s what he’s come to crave for.

He didn’t know how he let Marius convince him to go back to Germany and see her. He really had no clue, just as he didn’t have a clue about many things—what he’d tell her, how she might react, what he’d do after. How he’d feel after—relieved? like he’s finally had some closure? and how would things be once back in Hereford?

There were a million and one thoughts in his mind as he sat there, on his hotel bed. Harry had offered to let the organization pay for it, but Dominic would have felt too bad if he had let him. This was personal, and there was no saying if his heart still lay within Rainbow schemes. He’d probably keep in touch; he’d probably always be available for anything, really, but the more time passed, the less he thought that was still the right place for him.

Düsseldorf was still buzzing with life despite the torrential rain when he walked out into the street. Y/N—he feared too many emotions and memories would resurface if he let himself think of her as Angel—had moved from the city three years after her lifetime friends had ended up in jail, sent behind bars by none other than her lover. They wouldn’t stay inside forever—he knew how these things worked, he didn’t live a delusion.

He had called her, the day before he had booked his flight. If there was one thing he owed her, it was at least that—let her know he’d be coming… if she wanted him to, that is. If she didn’t want to meet up, then so be it: he’d go on with his life the way he had done throughout the past year and try not to regret too much stuff he had been forced to do because of his job.

But when she had picked up the phone—he had called her old number with his old number—things had felt… well, not normal, of course—he had disappeared overnight without leaving a note or a text or a simple word that could let her know what the fuck had been going on during the past six years of his life—of their life. But she had picked up the phone and she hadn’t killed him through the device, and although she had remained silent for most of the call—and he had done the same, truly, not even knowing what he wanted to tell her, for the words just wouldn’t come—she had eventually agreed to meet up.

Not at her new house, although Harry had done some digging and knew where she lived—a nice apartment in a nice part of the city, but Dominic hadn’t wanted to know where, exactly, when his Director had offered to share the knowledge. She had picked a café, a nice and cozy place he had looked up on the internet, but still popular enough that the awkwardness of their date of sorts would be easily drowned out by the other patrons’ presence.

She was scrolling through her phone when he walked in and spotted her in the far left corner. It was secluded enough to guarantee them some privacy, but still not enough to cut them off from the rest of the world. He figured it was just perfect.

“Hey,” he greeted when he walked up to the table she had picked and he tried not to sigh when he noticed she had pulled her hair back into two braids.

She looked up at him—she didn’t glare the way he had expected her to, but she also didn’t smile. “Hey.”

He sat down, and they both stared at each other until a waiter came up and Y/N called for a coffee and an orange juice before glaring the guy away.

The awkwardness of it all quickly filled the space between them, and wrapped them up like a blanket, but it wasn’t just that. She was pissed, and angry, and probably murderous, but under all that he could still see the heartbreak in her eyes.

“Well, I’m here,” she said. “Say what you wanted to say. It’s the least I deserve, I think.”

Dominic opened his mouth to speak, but then the waiter came back and he closed it again as he watched their order being placed on the table. His cup of black coffee and her glass of juice seemed to put even more distance between them and he had to resist the impulse of passing a hand over his shaved head the way he did when he was nervous.

“I’m sorry,” was what he sighed, lowering his gaze first to the table and then back out of the window and the rain-washed street outside.

She leaned forward and took a sip from the straw before crossing her arms and sitting back against the cushioned back of the booth. “That’s it? You came all the way from wherever the fuck you’ve been hiding to just say I’m sorry? No explanation whatsoever?”

Another sigh, but before he could open his mouth to speak again, she cut him off.

“Was any of that real? Was there at least a crumb of truth? I opened up to you and you just—” Her voice trembled, but whether it was out of tears or pure anger, Dominic couldn’t tell.

“It was real.” He was quick at biting back, probably a bit too aggressively than he had any right to be. “It was real,” he repeated after a moment, voice much quieter and eyes boring into hers. “I did love you.”

“Love’s too big a word for the things you’ve done.”

“It was work,” he tried to reason. “I got sent here on an undercover mission—”

“I know that. I’ve been interrogated by the ones who didn’t go in. They suspected me. Because of you. Because I had been fucking the snitch for almost five years.”

He gaped at her for a moment before sighing in defeat. “I loved you,” but he didn’t say I still do, or You’re still on my mind day in and day out, and not even I still see your panties on the gear shift of Christian’s car. “That wasn’t fake, it wasn’t part of the mission. I told myself I wouldn’t fall for you, that it would mess things up, that it wasn’t fair to you. But I still did. Every I love you I said was real. Every single one of them.”

She was silent for a minute before she scoffed and shook her head. “You’re so full of shit, Dominic.”

It was different this time. She had told him that he was full of shit many a time, always laughing, always joking, but this time those words cut deep—deep enough to rob him of his breath for a moment.

“I trusted you,” she continued then, much quieter, voice barely audible above the sound of the music and of the other people chatting. “I thought you’d be my forever. How stupid I was…”

He looked down at his cup, his throat too knotted to even stomach the idea of drinking his coffee. “That makes two of us. I thought that I—”

“Don’t you even dare—”

“That I’d have more time,” he continued unrelenting, shaking his head with closed eyes for a second before opening them and staring at her again. “That I could buy more time. I kept on hoping I’d fuck up somehow, that things would go wrong and that I wouldn’t have to complete the mission. Or that I could have the time to make you hate me before it was all over.”

“Well, I do kinda hate you now.”

“Breaking your heart was never in my plans, though.” He almost moved his hand on the table to place it over hers, but a last-minute realization made him understand that that was most definitely the worst thing he could do at the moment. And not because she could snap his wrist easily, but because he had no right to. “I really did love you. I wanted to take you back with me. I tried to tell you.”

There was a spark of recognition in her eyes, then, and he knew what memory his words had brought back. The two of them relaxing in the bathtub, her back against his chest, her damp hair tickling his neck and cheek. Come away with me, he had told her, fingers trailing up and down her arms, making her shiver. Let’s go far away, where no one can find us.

“I didn’t want it to end,” he confessed. “Any of that.”

“You built everything on a lie, Dominic.” A scoff. “If that’s even your real name, that is.”

“It is.”

It seemed to take her off guard and erased the words she had been about to say.

“My name’s Dominic Brunsmeier, not Neumann. I work for an international unit of elite agents that fight terrorism. I was assigned on this mission because we were informed Anton was doing more than simply dealing drugs. I went undercover with a Hells Angels chapter in the past, so the GSG-9 called me back for this one,” he confessed, voice flat and almost professional. He would have never thought he’d one day be making such a speech out loud, but there he was, in a busy café, in front of the woman he still had the nerve to love but who didn’t love him back anymore. “And my love for you could’ve never been a lie.”

She nodded once and turned her head to the side and to the city outside. He was trying to gauge what she might be thinking, what might be going on inside her head. But she remained unreadable and distant. “They’d kill you if they knew you’re back,” she eventually said, glancing at him from the corner of her eye, her chin still resting on the palm of her hand.

He shrugged. “I’ve been close to death too many times to be scared today. This past year…” He couldn’t tell her it had been rough; he didn’t think he had the right to when in her eyes he had gone back home. “I knew I had to see you, even if it was for the last time. I didn’t think you’d agree to meet up, but I’m glad you did.”

They were silent after that. They drank their beverages, and all without speaking a word. But then, when they paid and left, she let him accompany her home.

“I thought you’d break my bones,” he confessed with a chuckle as he stood outside her apartment complex and she picked the right key to open the building’s door.

“I thought I would, too.” She was pensive, lost in thought, and it took her a couple of minutes before she pushed the door open. “But the truth is, I probably could never.”

They stared at each other, and before he could have the time to chicken out, he said, “I know it’s too much to ask, but… We could still have time together.”

She looked at him for a moment longer before she stepped into the building and closed the door behind her back.

Later that night, as he sat on his hotel bed once again, on a phone call with Marius, he couldn’t stop thinking about the last words she told him.

Yes, we could.

Feedback is always welcome if you want to drop old me a line 💛

If you want to be tagged, hit me up! xx

#dominic brunsmeier #dominic bandit brunsmeier #rainbow six siege imagine #r6s bandit imagine #dominic brunsmeier imagine #dominic brunsmeier x oc #r6s bandit x oc #rainbow six siege fanfic

32 notes · View notes

chilling-seavey · 3 years

Text

Qui Totum Vult Totum Perdit (d.s.) - 12

A/N Narrowing in

Warnings: This story is centered around a murder so there will be graphic descriptions of blood, death/manslaughter, dealing with corpses, possible domestic abuse (physical/verbal), crime/covering up a crime, shock/grief, and other possibly heavy or triggering topics. Please read at your own discretion.

My mind had been telling me lots of things over the prior twenty-four hours, dear reader, trying to force me to piece together a memory I didn’t remember. But there was something all too familiar about the realization that came over me while sitting on the side of the resort bathtub with Avalon’s hand in my own. I could hear her soft gasp as the glass hit the kitchen floor as clear as day, I even heard it in my mind that morning but the pieces weren’t fitting until now.

She never threw her glass at me. I never followed her screaming into the studio. Hell, I didn’t even know where the knife set was among the neatly stacked array of wedding gifts until I woke up that morning with one laying next to me.

I vowed to love her until the end of time and, although I couldn’t trust myself at first, it came back to me so obviously that I never would have hurt her - never would have laid a finger on her yet alone took her life - no matter how much we disagreed.

Jonah returned to the hotel room with buckets of ice to find me sitting in a complete mess of tears on the side of the tub, clutching Avalon’s hand until my knuckles were nearly turning white. He left the bucket of ice on the counter and hurried over to me, setting his hand on my shoulder.

“Hey, hey, what’s going on?” Jonah asked in that gentle voice he could always put on when someone needed consoling.

“I didn’t do it!” I cried, turning to lean into him as he stood beside me. “I-I don’t know who did, but I didn’t kill her! We fought and she went to sleep in the studio and…and I-I should have…I should have fucking followed her…protected her…I’m such a fucking asshole for ever thinking I was ever better than her!”

Jonah simply stayed quiet, rubbing his hand over my shoulder in consolable stripes as I cried out my grief. The fact that he wasn’t correcting my slight self-deprecation was proof enough that he saw my faults throughout the past four years too. Everyone seemed to see them but me, and I only saw them once it was too late.

“I gotta tell you something, bro.” Jonah said softly.

I looked up at him through my tears.

“When I was getting the ice in the lobby…” he licked his lips nervously as if to buy himself time, “The news reported that they found your bloody handprint on the piano in your studio. The missing persons case has been switched over to a homicide investigation.”

The irony of the blood draining from my face was nearly comical and looking back now it truly was. If finding Avalon’s body that morning caused my heart to stop in my chest, the news that the police now thought I did it when I had just pieces together that I was innocent truly felt like I was experiencing death just as strongly. I felt sick. I wasn’t safe anywhere. It was often cases like this locked up the innocent and if my memory served me correctly, the numbers still weren’t on my side.

“I-I didn’t do it though!” I stumbled out.

“I know.” Jonah said calmly, “Come on. We gotta get her in some ice and then we can decide on our next steps.”

“I…I can’t.” I breathed.

“Daniel, you can’t shut down on me. I know you’re scared and…and sad but…” Jonah raked his hand through his hair as we stared down at Avalon laying in the empty tub. “Shit.”

His own obvious slight panic weighed heavy on my heart.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you.” I said shakily, “Should have never gotten you into this.”

“No. It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault.” Jonah said strongly. He pried my hand out of Avalon’s, “But we gotta keep moving if we’re going to figure out what we need to do next.”

I nodded. I really had nothing else to say. What was there to say? I could cry and scream and try to point fingers all I wanted but nothing was going to bring her back. She was dead. And I was a widow.

“Daniel.”

I looked up at Jonah again. The concern on his face was unmissable.

“Why don’t you go lay down? Try and get some sleep and I’ll finish up out here.”

“Where are we going to put the rug?” I asked. I hadn’t even realized I was thinking about that. All the evidence in my car? Nothing was on my side here.

“We can bury it in the desert or something on our way to the lodge tomorrow.” Jonah suggested.

“And the knives too.” I added. I looked back to Avalon but spoke to Jonah again, “What are we going to do with her?”

“I…don’t know. Depends on if you find the person who did this.”

“Fuck!” I swore loudly, balling my hands into fists and held them in front of my face to hide my onset of fresh tears, “I’m so fucked!”

“Okay, Daniel, just go lay down. I’ll take care of it.” Jonah helped me to my feet from the side of the tub and I couldn’t help but fall right into him, throwing my arms around his shoulders and embraced him tightly. He patted my back gently and let me cry into his shoulder, clutching onto the back of his shirt as I let out all the sorrows of the previous hours, the evil mix of grief and relief and fear swirling in my mind.

I didn’t remember getting into bed. Apparently I had a tendency to forget aspects of my days but I woke up in the hotel bed to Jonah turning off the bedroom light and getting into his own bed beside mine. I stayed still to make it seem like I was still sleeping. I wasn��t ready to face in the influx of “are you okay?” questions that I honestly wasn’t sure how to answer.

I stared at the ceiling, wide awake, mind whirling, as I heard Jonah’s breathing eventually fall into a steady rhythm and his soft snores started to fill the quiet hotel room. Sleep felt nice. I envied him a little. I was exhausted but I was not tired in the slightest. The bed felt terribly empty.

I hadn’t slept alone in a long time. Well, not counting the few times Avalon made me sleep on the couch.

I didn’t want to waste one more moment when I could be figuring out how to prove my innocence in this situation that seemed to turn against me so quickly. How could I have been so stupid as to forget to wipe down the piano? The prints were all over the damn place. I was only hoping that whoever was behind this was at least a fraction of as stupid as I was and left some sort of trace behind for the detective team.

With Jonah fast asleep, I slunk quietly out of bed and over to the desk across the room. I turned on the small lamp to light up the corner and sat down with the hotel paper and pen to try and collect my thoughts. The silence of the night was eery and I couldn’t get my mind away from the thought of my wife’s dead body just beyond the thin wall across the room from me. With the paper left blank, I got up from the desk and grabbed my laptop bag from beside the wall, pulling out my phone as well as Avalon’s to search through.

The bathroom was dark and if I listened hard enough I could hear the faint cracking of the melting ice that filled the tub. My heart was beating hard in my chest with nervousness as my hand hovered over the light switch. I felt just as nervous as I had the day I asked her to marry me but now, I was nervous for a whole other reason. I hated nothing more than seeing her like this.

I turned on the light and stalked over to the side of the tub. Her eyes were still closed, and she still looked peaceful and yet a terrifyingly pale.

“Hey, honey.” I spoke softly as if she could hear me. As if it would make this any easier.

I brushed my hand hesitantly over her tangled hair and angled her phone towards her face. The screen unlocked. I hurried to change the setting to keep her phone from locking again before leaning down towards her habitually. I froze a few centimeters from her head but still managed to work up enough nerve to press a gentle kiss to her temple.

Back at the desk in the hotel room, under the light of the single table lamp, I laid out Avalon’s phone, my phone, and the blank pad of paper in front of me. I copied Jonah’s idea with writing each name at the top of the sheet. I started with Jack.

Motives:

-She was the reason he can’t see his daughter

-She was the reason he was evicted

-She was the reason his business flopped

-Revenge

-Knows the human body, has a collection of scissors and blades

-Has been to our house

I moved onto Zach.

Motives:

-We took away something important to him, so he could want to do the same back

-Wanted to hurt me

-Knows his way around knifework

-Knows our address

-Seems to have no remorse or empathy for human life

I hovered my pen over the paper for a moment, re-reading my notes so far. I set the pen down and picked up Avalon’s phone to go into her messages. I found Christian’s contact and opened the message thread, seeing only a bunch of unanswered texts from him from just before the wedding to even during our honeymoon. Things such as:

Stay away from Daniel.

Going through with this wedding will be the last thing you will ever do; I swear to God.

I refuse to let you fuck up his life anymore.

You and I need to have a serious talk when you guys get home. I’m not going to tolerate your whiny bullshit about his career just because he’s successful and you’re not.

I set her phone face down on the desk with a shaky inhale, stunned to silence with the few messages I had read. I knew my brother had a dislike for Avalon but calling her out and sending her aggressive texts was a level I didn’t think he would stoop to. And the fact that she didn’t think she could trust me or confide in me enough to tell me what he was saying to her hurt even more.

The pen glided itself across the paper, spelling out Christian’s name under Zach’s list of motives. I continued the list for my own brother:

Motives:

-Strange hatred for her

-Aggressive and threatening texts

-Clingy in regard to my whereabouts consistently

-Gifted the knives to us and knew where they were

I clicked the pen closed as I scanned the list of three names again. Honestly, I was more than relieved I didn’t have to write my own name but this was far from over. I wasn’t safe until someone came clean…or I forced the truth out of them.

The warm light of the desk lamp glinted off the gold band around my left-hand ring finger. I slid the ring off gently and it came off with ease since it hadn’t been on very long at all. The light reflected along the metal and I turned it over in my hand to see the engraving on the inside, dated with 25/07/20 and her name in soft curling letters beside it. Avalon. My one true love ripped from my hands before I even had a moment to truly appreciate what I had. It’s true, dear reader; you really do not know what you have until it is gone.

I fell asleep at the desk while rereading my list for the nth time, the exhaustion from the day having finally caught up to me. The wedding ring stayed clutched in my hand.

Detective Team: @jonahlovescoffee @randomlimelightxxx @stuffofseaveyy @hopinglimelight @tempus-ut-luceant @br4nd1s @xkelsev @hiya-its-amber @sexyseavey15 @the-girl-who-cried-wolf

#🔪#daniel seavey #why dont we #jonah marais #jack avery #corbyn besson #zach herron #why dont we fanfic #daniel seavey fanfic

23 notes · View notes

iamknicole · 3 years

Text

New Leaf (2)

HAHN AU

After having lunch with her mom, Amanda went to visit her brother, Wyatt, at his rehab facility. Him and her didn't have a very good relationship but she wanted to go see him since it had been so long. She had gotten the address of the facility from her dad under the guise that she wouldn't give the information to her mother which she agreed to simply because she knew her mother didn't care to know in the first place.

The nurse led her to his room and opened the door for. When she stepped in, she spotted him sitting out on his closed off patio. She sat her purse on his desk before going out to where he was.

"It's a nice day, huh?" She said plopping down in the seat next to him.

"If you say so, Amanda. What are you doing here anyway?" He asked barely glancing at her.

Taken back by his tone, Amanda took a few deep breaths to keep from going off on him and smiled once again. "I came to see you. I just moved back yesterday, wanted to let you know."

Finally he looked over at her.

"Where are you staying?"

"At home. Where else would I stay?" She chuckled.

"That's dumb. Why go back there? Those people don't love you, they just wanna control you."

"Wyatt ... no they don't. I get it, you're mad that you're here but I think you should be grateful anyone was willing to help you. They could've just let you keep going until you overdosed. Or they could've let you go to jail for killing that little girl."

Wyatt shot a sharp glare at her and she gave him the same back.

"That look does not scare me. We all know what you did, you're just lucky the right people couldn't prove it." She huffed standing up from her chair. "You know, I know you're pissed at them because of what happened to us at camp but that wasn't their fault, they didn't know that would happen. And you feel like they owe you something, especially mom, because of what happened but mom doesn't owe you a damn thing. You're just spoiled and ungrateful."

Wyatt snorts and rolled his eyes waving her off. "That's easy for you to say. They don't do you like they do me."

"What? Wyatt, before I moved to Atlanta all they did was put all of their attention on you. I barely got a glance. You were always in trouble or in the hospital. They did what they did because for some reason they think you're worth saving."

"And you're saying I'm not?" He asked looking up at her.

"That's exactly what I'm saying. I'm getting out of here and don't expect me to come back. Good luck on getting clean."

Ignoring his yelling and insults, Amanda went back into his room and grabbed her purse. She tossed the gift she'd gotten him on his bed then stormed out of the room leaving the door wide open.

After dropping her uhaul off, Lainey ubered to her father's garage. It was one of two of his businesses, the other being his construction company. This is the one he was at today. While she waited in his office, a couple of his employees came to talk to her. When he walked in she was sitting on top of his desk laughing and talking with them standing near her.

"Now I know yall asses got some work to be doing." His voiced boomed making the two of them jump. "Get away from my daughter before you don't have a job or eyes anymore."

Lainey laughed as they scurried out of the office. "Pop, why you so mean to them?"

He kissed her head then pushed her off his desk and walked around to sit behind it. "First, don't be sitting on my desk. Second, cause they asses don't have no business in here talking to you. Especially when it's so much work to be done. What you doing here anyway?"

"Ew, rude, Pop." She laughed sitting in one of his chairs. "I just came to see you. I can't come see my father that I missed so much and that I love so much."

Caleb started at her with his brow raised. "Your mama put you out, didn't she?"

Lainey laughed loudly. "You know she did."

"What did you do?" He asked laughing.

"Well...I had invited her to come with me to drop the truck off and I would run errands with her. I was tryna help her and provide her with entertainment while she got ready. And do you know what she told me, Pop?"

He chuckled. "No, what?"

"She told me I get on her d-a-m-n nerves so I simply told her that she's a Christian and she not supposed to be cussing. She must ain't like that too much cause next thing I know there was a shoe coming my way and she told me to get out and leave and not to come back to later. So... here I am."

Caleb couldn't help the loud laugh that came out. He could hear his wife's voice perfectly in his head. "And I know you're proud of yourself. Want me to take you to get your car?"

"Very," she nodded. "No, Amanda is gonna pick me up. We're gonna go find her an outfit for tonight."

"Where you two going?"

"A friend of hers is hosting a party at a club tonight so we're gonna go. Might find you a son on law while I'm there."

Caleb stared at her, "Alright ... don't get nobody shot, Lainey. Why don't you invite your brother? I'm sure he'll wanna go."

"You want him to go so he can scare people off so no. But he has a date anyway," she said with an eye roll.

"Oh right with that girl from ya mama church. Something about that girl ain't right."

"Same thing I said but Mama told me hush my mouth."

Across town, Benny and Mitch day in their shared office doing paperwork and talking. They had a very busy morning that tapered off into a calm afternoon.

"How's your brothers, man?"

"They good, they good. Two more months left then they gon be home." Benny told him with a smile. "I can't wait."

Mitch looked up smiling, "That's what's up man. I know they're ready, it's been a long time coming."

"Hell yeah been six long years. I know Mama gon be shouting and praying when they get out. You know her," he laughed.

"Yeah, you know it. You ready for your date tonight?"

Benny huffed loudly and laughed. "I'm ready to get out over with. That girl is weird, something is wrong. I been turning her down politely for months then he ass turn around and go through my mama."

"Knowing Ms. Hanna not gon let you say no."

"Exactly. Ima take her to dinner then ima take my ass home. She not about to get my caught up in nothing."

Mitch frowned a little, "What you mean?"

Benny put his pen down and leaned on his desk, "Something about the way she be looking at me and looking over my shoulder, like she paranoid or something. Ion really like that shit."

"Keep your eye out when you're out with her. You picking her up?"

He nodded. "Yeah, I was gonna have her meet me there but you know."

"Yeah, Ms. Hanna wasn't having that. Just let me know when you pick her up and when you drop her off."

Later that night, Benny sat across the table with his date for the evening, Gia. He had been texting his best friend on and off to give him updates.

"You okay? You seem a little distant."

He raised a brow at her. "I'm cool just hungry. Waiting for my food."

She laughed a little nodding, "Yeah, me too. They're a little slow tonight. So how was work?"

"Work was work," he answered watching her look around for the fifth time, "Aye, what or who are you looking for?"

"Hmm? Oh nobody, nothing. Why did you ask?"

"Cause your ass keep looking around. You got a man or you running from someone. Which one?"

She shook her head laughing a little. "Neither, neither. I just like to watch my surroundings."

Benny hummed not believing her. If it's one thing he could do, it's sense when some shit wasn't right. And nothing about Gia seemed right.

"What did you say you do again?" He asked knowing she had never told him.

"You weren't listening to me?" She asked smiling.

He chuckled rubbing his hands over his beard. "I'm a lil forgetful sometimes. Tell me again, sweetheart."

Gia took a sip of her drink which Benny paid attention to. She was stalling.

"Oh I am a uh consultant for a bridal shop." She stuttered out with a smile.

"Oh really? Which one?" He asked leaning back in his chair.

"Mmm I don't wanna talk about work, Benny," she laughed, "Work is stressful and I wanna leave it where it's at. I'm gonna run to the restroom really quick."

Nodding, Benny watched her hurry off to the bathroom with her phone to her ear. He pulled out his phone to text his best friend and his father to let them know something was feeling off with her. Meanwhile, Gia was pacing back and forth talking on her phone.

"What?" The voice on the other end snapped.

"I think I messed up." Gia panicked.

A loud groan came through the receiver. "What the hell did you do?"

"He noticed me looking around a lot and I don't think he bought my excuse. And he asked me what I do and I told him at a bridal shop."

"Dammit! That is not what I told you to do! You just better hope you don't fuck this up for me! Cause if you do.."

"I know, I know. I'm sorry."

"Not as sorry as you will be if you fuck this up. Get back to that table and stop being so damn paranoid!"

Gia assured them that the rest of the evening would go according to plan and hung up. Before leaving the bathroom she fixed her make up. Benny looked up from his phone when he saw her come back to the table, giving a half smile to her wide one.

"Ooh our food came. This smells and looks good," she commented sitting in her seat. "What did you get again?"

"Steak, roasted vegetables and a loaded potato. You good?"

"Yup, I'm good," she smiled. "Would you like to taste my pasta?"

Benny looked up from his food for a moment, "Nah, I'm good. Thank you though. So the consulting thing. You like a independent contractor?"

Gia thought quickly before nodding. "Yes, that's its. They call when they need me and I go in to help on already scheduled days every 30 days."

"So you make your own schedule and all that? You always wanted to do that?"

"Be my own boss," she laughed a little, "Yes. Consulting, no. It's not the last stop but it's a stop. I love fashion and all that."

Benny hummed listening to her talk. He couldn't care less about what she was saying, he just wanted to keep her talking. Caleb taught him if you kept someone taking long enough, they tell on themselves without you having to do much.

"Cool so what's the next stop?" He asked eating some of his food.

She smiled and shrugged, "Haven't decided yet but something big. I hear your sister is back in town. You excited?"

Benny frowned, "How you hear that?"

"You know your mama told everybody at church," she laughed. "And we know some of the same people."

"Mmhm. Yeah that's my lil baby of course I'm excited."

Gia nodded. "A friend of mine wanted to know if she was dating anybody. He's been crushing on her since they were in high school."

"Nah," Benny answered cutting his steak, "She not dating nobody. At all. Whoever it is can keep crushing cause it ain't gon happen."

Gia laughed mixing her pasta a bit, "Awe you're protective. That's cute."

Lainey left her room with her clutch and phone, heels clicking down the hallway to her parents' room. She walked into the room dancing a little bit and adjusting her dress. Hanna sat in her bed against the headboard watching tv.

"Mama, come on and tell me I look good so I can go." Lainey laughed.

Hanna looked over at her and chuckled. "You missing straps and fabric at the top and bottom of your dress. Where you think you going?'

"Mama ... its a halter dress is not supposed to have straps. And it's almost mid thigh, that's long enough."

"Who told you that you could wear that?"

Lainey laughed a little, "I dunno if you know but I'm grown, Mama. Plus I'm cute and it's cute."

Hanna hummed. "Yeah okay, cute. Your daddy seen what you wearing?"

"Nope and ima leave before he does."

Just as Lainey turned to leave she bumped into Caleb. He looked her up and down then chuckled.

"You gon be late to ya party, go get dressed, Lainey."

Lainey looked down at her dress and heels then back at him. "I am dressed, Pop."

"Where you think you finna go in that?"

Again, she started to dance and laugh. "I'm about to go cut a rug, Pop. Shake what my mama gave me."

"You shake too much and you gon be showin what your mama gave you. You not wearing that."

Lainey sucked her teeth, "Pop, its cute."

"Uhuh, cute, I don't care. Go change."

Pouting, Lainey stomped out of the room back to her bedroom. She started to pick another outfit then grabbed her long sleeve jean button up shirt and put it on over her black dress. She left it unbuttoned and fixed it in her mirror then left to go back to her parents room. When she walked in they were kissing which made her frown.

"Hey, ew. Stop that. I don't wanna see that." She complained. "Is this better? Can I go now?"

They pulled away laughing.

"Much. Leave that on, don't take it off. You staying with Amanda or coming home?" Caleb asked.

"Staying with Amanda. Text yall when I get to where I'm going and when we're back at her parents."

Caleb nodded, "Alright, babygirl. We love you. Have fun but be careful."

Lainey went to kiss and hug them quickly before leaving the room. Once she was in her car, she pulled out of the driveway quickly heading for the Cryer house. Halfway there, her phone rung.

"Hey, Manda! I'll be there in like 15 minutes."

"Ugh I can't go," Amanda groaned, "My dad neglected to tell me that we're having a dinner party tonight. My mom tried to help me out but no dice."

Lainey pouted sitting at the red light. "Damn it. That sucks, I was looking forward to the party. Well call me when it's over and we can chat."

"Okay, I will. I'm so sorry about this. What are you gonna do?" She asked still sulking.

"Uuuh, I don't know," Lainey said quietly. "Probably go see my aunt or get food and go back home."

"Okay well I'll call you. And I'm sorry again."

"Girl you're good. I understand."

When they hung up, Lainey drove around for a bit trying to decide what she was going to do. While she rode around her phone ring again. She smirked seeing who it was.

"You must've known I needed something to do," she laughed.

Mitch's laughed echoed through her speakers. "I have great timing. Thought you had a party to go to."

"Plans got canceled. So now I'm all dressed up with nowhere to go."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Lainey."

She laughed a little. "This is when you ask me if I wanna come over, Mitch."

He laughed. "I was getting there. You wanna come over? I'm not doing anything, my best friend is on a date. I could use the company."

"Well good then. What's your address?" She asked happily.

Mitch gave her the address, then talked to her until she got to his house. While they talked, Mitch straightened his living room up then pulled his car out of his garage so she could park there.

Lainey looked around his living room while he went upstairs to change. He noticed pictures of him and a very familiar older woman who resembled him. She knew she had seen the woman before but couldn't remember from where. Mitch had changed into gray sweats and a black t-shirt before coming back down. He noticed her looking as he took a seat on his sofa sitting with his legs wide.

"Those shoes look nice on you but they can't be comfortable to stand in."

She turned to smile at him and went to sit at the end of the sofa. "They're not uncomfortable yet but I did want to sit down."

"Good. I don't know if I told you but you look beautiful."

"Thank you, Mitch." She smiled fixing her dress a little.

He nodded looking over at her. "How long do I have the pleasure of your company?"

She shrugged. "I'm not sure. I was supposed to be spending the night with Amanda so didn't plan on going home."

Mitch stretched his arms out on the back of his sofa, he's knees fanning a bit. "Well if you wanna stay a few hours, I'm good with that and if you wanna spend the night I'm good with that too. Up to you."

Lainey eyed him. Looking from his open legs to his face then his outstretched arms. She hadn't realized just how much of him it was until now and she was not disappointed at all.

"I um ... I'm gonna stay the night. If that's okay with you."

Mitch smiled at her. "Like I said, I'm good with what you wanna do. We can order food and watch a movie."

Realizing he was about to get up, Lainey stopped him and pulled out her phone. "Wait ... we can use my phone. You don't have to get up."

He chuckled softly taking her phone. "No problem. My uncle's restaurant delivers, I'll order that for us."

"Okay um we should ... we should talk and get to know each other while we wait."

"Wanna talk about this stuttering thing you're doing," he asked concentrating on ordering their food. "You didn't do that before."

"That was before I noticed how much of you there is." She said louder than she intended. Covering her face, she laughed nervously. "Oh my God ... I was not supposed to say that so you could hear me."

Mitch laughed looking over at her briefly, "It's okay, honesty is good. Did you not realize how big I was when we met?"

"Honestly, no. I was so tired from the drive and unpacking that I didn't realize it."

"Even when I walked up on you in the kitchen?"

She shook her head looking at the side of his face. "No. Happened so fast and I didn't want my brother to come in so I was looking at the doorway."

"Tell you what, when I'm done ordering the food I'll stand up for you so you can look again. Deal?" He asked.

"Deal."

"Good then I wanna see this outfit," he added softly, "without the shirt that's covering it."

Once the food was ordered he gave back her phone then stood from the sofa. He fixed his shirt and sweats before smiling at her. Lainey raised a brow starting at the moon in front of her. There were so many things she wanted to say and ask but nothing came out but a small, barely audible, "oh." Laughing a little, Mitch pulled her up from the sofa and looked down at her.

"I'm wearing six inch heels and I'm only at your chest. How is there so much of you?" She asked staring up at him.

"I dunno. Genetics, I guess, Lainey." He laughed and sat back down. "Your turn, beautiful."

Lainey removed the shirt she was wearing on top of her dress tossing it aside into the love seat. She adjusted her dress a bit then spun around so he could see the entire thing. Mitch had to restrain himself from reaching out to touch her when she turned her back to him. He smiled at her once she was was facing him and pulled her to stand between his legs.

"You look beautiful. This is a beautiful dress on you as well. I like it."

"Thank you, Mitch. At least you like it, my parents didn't."

Mitch chuckled grabbing her hands. "They're not supposed to. It fits you very, very well. You wanna take these off?"

Lainey raised a brow and laughed. "Wait ... take what off?"

"The heels, Lainey." He laughed. "The heels. Do you wanna take them off?"

"Oh, oh," she laughed, "Yeah, I do."

Mitch started to help Lainey take her heels off. They got one off successfully but the buckle on the other got stuck. Between both of them pulling and tugging, Lainey fell into Mitch's lap. He caught he'd around the waist, her face inches away from her as she laid her hands on his chest to catch herself. There breathing increased slightly.

"You good? I got you." He said softly searching her face.

She nodded tucking her bottom lip momentarily. "Yeah I'm good. Thank you."

Using his free hand, Mitch finally got the buckle loose and tossed the heel aside. His hand slid down her waist to her thigh keeping his eyes on her.

"You got goosebumps. You cold?"

"No," she answered shaking her head. "No, not cold. Just ... you."

A ghost of a smile graced his face. "I can take a hint."

Pulling her further into his lap then leaned up to kiss her. She fell into his rhythm putting her arms around his neck. The two of them kissed until Mitch's phone vibrated in his pocket making her jump and pull away.

"Sorry," he said softly going into his pocket for his phone, "It's Benny. He's been updating me on his date."

Lainey nodded staring at him, waiting. That was fine that they were keeping in contact with each other but she didn't care. When he tossed his phone to the side, she launched herself at him kissing him hard. While they were kissing Lainey's phone was vibrating on the other end of the sofa being ignored. She's forgotten to text her mama so she was calling.

"She probably just having fun with Amanda and forgot. You know how they are," Caleb assured his wife. "She'll text."

Hanna sighed hanging up. "She better. She knows I worry."

"She's a big girl now, she's okay, lil lady. Let's finish this movie."

#hahn au #new leaf #have and have nots au #mitch & lainey

4 notes · View notes

harringrovetrashrat · 4 years

Text

Pretty Boy

“This is so boring.” Heather popped her gum, smacking slightly, and blew a curl out of her eye. She and Billy were in her dorm, studying together. Her roommate Robin was lounging in her loft, ignoring them, but it was a comfortable thing. Billy sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Switch it up then. Stop with Stats and work on Bio or something,” he suggested. He turned the page in his Art History book, trying to focus.

“No, I mean,” she scoffed, “I mean, like, studying is boring. We should take a break.”

“I’m not taking shots Heather--”

“I’m just saying--”

“I actually need to finish this--”

“Well, I need to do something else--”

“Oh my god,” Robin groaned, leaning over the side of the bed. “Whatever you guys do, would you be quiet about it?” Billy stuck his tongue out and she rolled her eyes before turning back towards the ceiling. Heather eyed her, tongue swiping over her bottom lip unconsciously, and Billy smiled slightly. She was so obvious.

“Hey,” he suggested slyly, “Didn’t you say you had a new lipstick you wanted to show me? Said it screamed Fuck Me?” He ignored the slightly choked sound that came from Robin’s loft and instead focused on Heather’s rapidly flushing face. She gave him a look that said I know what you’re doing, but stood and went to her dresser anyway.

“It’s this gorgeous red, and I also have a gloss I thought would look good with it, but I wanted your opinion.” She pulled out a tube and Billy tossed his textbook to the side, leaning back slightly. He caught movement from the corner of his eye and saw that Robin had turned so she was facing the room and not the wall. He smirked to himself. Lesbians were so oblivious to each other, it was almost infuriating. Almost. “Alright,” Heather said, popping her lips. She turned and gave him a bright smile. “What do you think?”

“Oh yeah, girl,” he said with a grin, “That’s a fuck me red, if I’ve ever seen one.” It was a bright red, like Christmas holly or a cartoon candy apple. The gloss looked like it was close to dripping down her chin, shimmery and sheen. Billy licked his lips and Heather’s grin turned sly.

“Oh I have the best idea.” She grabbed her makeup bag and plopped back beside him on the futon, turning to face him. Billy raised a brow.

“What?”

“We’re giving you a makeover,” she said with delight. Billy rolled his eyes.

“Heather--”

“Oh come on! Please? It’s 2019,” she begged, pouting. “Guys wear makeup now and you have the best eyes for makeup I swear. I am so jealous of your lashes you don’t even know, Billy.” He laughed at that, and then shook his head.

“Alright, fine. You’re right, I do have amazing eyes.” He heard shuffling and a thump, then Robin was behind Heather, a wide grin on her face.

“This is gonna be good.”

“Pull your hair back,” Heather said, tossing him a baby blue velvet scrunchie. He pulled his hair into a pony on the crown of his head, watching her pick through her various makeup bags. “Alright, close your eyes, Billy,” Heather cooed, picking out an eyeliner. He did, reluctantly, but his heart thudded in excitement. He’d never really tried out makeup before. Sure, he’d done eyeliner and some mascara, because he did have the best eyes for makeup, but anything more? His father had made sure he knew there’d be hell to pay if he ever tried. And once he got to college, well, he’d been too busy with schoolwork and keeping his scholarship that he didn’t really think about what it meant to be out from under his father’s roof. To be in control of himself. It wasn’t like he really wanted to do drag or anything either, but he’d always loved how he looked. Spent too much time staring at himself in the mirror, probably. And he knew, he fucking knew, that he’d look good in makeup.

“If you make me look like shit, Heather, I’m taking all of your scrunchies,” he warned, a smirk pulling at his lips. He heard her gasp, offended.

“You’ve seen my makeup--”

“Yeah, exactly,” he teased.

“I’m gonna give you orange eyeshadow if you don’t shut the fuck up,” she hissed.

“I’d still look good.”

“I dunno, Hargrove,” Robin drawled. “You’re not looking at this orange.”

“Dunno when I asked for your opinion, Buckley.” She snorted at that, and he imagined she probably rolled her eyes too. Billy liked Robin. She was quick witted, funny, and had a really special knack for making ‘dingus’ sound like a compliment. Also, she was friends with one Steve Harrington.

Steve was something else. He and Robin had been friends in high school, making the move out to Berkeley together. He’d helped Robin move in, like Billy had helped Heather, and the minute he had seen him, Billy had been obsessed. Steve was cute, fucking adorable, and then he’d run his hand through his hair and Billy had nearly short circuted imagining doing that himself. Then Steve had opened his mouth and proved himself to be so far out of Billy’s league. He was kind, goofy, but also stubborn and loyal, like a puppy. He was smart, if not a little naive, and he was funny. Pretty much the perfect fucking package.

But Billy knew that he’d ruin him. That he’d taint the goodness that was inherently in Steve, so he kept his crush to himself. And it proved fucking helpful just last week, in late October.

“Halloween is fine enough, I just had a bad breakup with my ex at a party in high school last year and it’s just a little tainted still.” Steve frowned as he sucked on the joint. Billy watched his lips intently, snapping his eyes up as Steve handed it to him.

“Oh?” Billy busied himself with taking a hit so he wouldn’t ask. He wasn’t sure Steve wanted to talk about it.

“Yeah,” he sighed, still looking up at the ceiling. “She got really drunk and kinda, let me have it? Then slept with someone else?” Billy exhaled sharply, eyes widening slightly. He ignored the clenching his chest at the revelation of it being a girlfriend.

“Fuck.”

“Yeah,” Steve croaked. “We made up, but like, it’s not a great memory anyway.”

“Well,” Billy offered, licking his lips, “We could hang out if you want. On halloween. Nothing big. Just get stoned and watch some horror movies or some shit.” His stomach was full of butterflies and he tried to squish them, trying to keep his hopes fucking down. Steve was most likely straight, and Billy really should have seen this coming. Still, it was kinda like a date and he’d never really been on a date before. Not with a guy, at least. Steve smiled a little.

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Billy’s heart fluttered in his chest before sinking when Steve said, “Could I bring Robin?”

“Yeah, of course.” And that had been that. Billy had taken that as a rejection and tried his darndest to not think about Steve and his long fingers, longer legs, and his mesmerizing brown eyes. He didn’t do a very good job of it.

“No, no, no.” He zoned back in to Robin and Heather bickering.

“But the blue would look so good with his eyes!” Robin said.

“Well, duh,” Heather replied. “But gold fits Billy so much better! See, if I do golds and this coral here, his eyes will just pop!”

“Okay, okay,” Robin relented. “But if his eyes are gonna be all done up, you should really add some highlighter.”

“Oh yeah,” Heather nodded, “You’re so right.”

“Do I get an opinion?” Billy said, eyes still closed.

“No,” the girls replied in unison, and he smiled.

Steve was having the worst fucking day.

He’d spilled his coffee all over his notes that morning, had been late to his shift at the school store after a shitty phone call with his father, and was now being sexiled from his own dorm. He thunked his head against the hallway wall, wondering if the world could just swallow him up.

Plus, he’d been anxious about not hearing as much from Billy the past couple of weeks.

When he had invited Robin to the Halloween hang out, she had laughed at him for a full minute. He was confused until she brought up that Billy had been asking him on a date. Which didn’t make sense because Billy was obviously straight. Not that Steve was one to go on stereotypes, but Billy was a natural flirt and he’d just figured he was comfortable enough in himself to flirt with guys too. That he didn’t mean it. Because, well, look at him.

Billy was the kind of hot that slapped you in the face. When Steve had first seen him, muscles bulging as he carried a box on his own, his mouth had gone dry. He hadn’t looked away from his ass until Robin coughed pointedly. Then they had talked, and Billy had been smart and charming, and Steve was a sucker for both of those things. Hell, he’d gotten fucking hard listening to Billy theorize about his English homework a month ago.

And then Robin had rolled her eyes and said that Billy was gay as fuck, that he and Heather were best friends, not dating like Steve had assumed. So Steve held his head in his hands and groaned. Robin had laughed at him again, but told him that she would come if he really wanted her to.

“I mean, I want it to be him being interested so bad,” Steve groaned. “But what if you’re wrong?”

“Trust me,” she had dead panned, “I’m not.”

But Steve had made mistakes before. He’d been so positive about Christian, and that had ended so poorly. He really didn’t want to take any other chances. So she came and brought Heather, who Billy had invited. And it had been a fun evening and Steve had thought that maybe, just maybe, Billy was into him.

But then they hadn’t talked for a while, what with midterms coming up, only meeting when the whole group got together for study sessions with alcohol. It wasn’t super unusual, but Billy and Steve had been texting regularly, pretty much everyday, and suddenly it took him hours to respond, sometimes even a day or two. It wasn’t like it was pressing stuff, but Steve’s earlier hope and excitement at Billy’s possible interest was quickly dissolving.

And what sucked is he couldn’t even complain to Robin about it. Because she would fucking laugh at him and remind him it was his own damn fault. It also didn’t help that after he’d gotten a C and B on his last tests (which were some of his best and most steady grades in years, thank you very much), his father had used the phone call to resume his quest to get Steve to major in business instead of social care. Had talked over Steve’s excitement with disappointment in his voice that Steve still hadn’t chosen ’the right career’.

Steve sighed, thunking his head against the wall again, feeling sorry for himself. He needed a pick me up. He needed a drink. Robin was good for both. He took a deep breath and made his way to her dorm, wondering if Heather was there too. She was always good for a drink and maybe seeing Robin fail to talk to her crush could make him feel minimally better.

Also if she had just so happened to message him earlier that Billy was there to study, that was no one’s business. Steve would have gone there anyway.

He knocked when he arrived, waiting to come in since he hadn’t texted ahead of time. Robin opened the door, a weird and intense smile spreading on her face when she saw him.

“Oh no way,” she breathed. “This is perfect.”

“What?” Steve furrowed his brow. She pulled him into the room, smile still wide.

“Steve’s here!” She announced, way too perky. Steve started to get nervous.

“Oh great! He can tell me what he thinks!” Heather cheered. There was a strangled sound from next to her and once Steve had his bearings, he focused on Heather and-- promptly choked on his own spit. Billy was staring at him, hair up, face fucking glowing. Heather had her makeup spread out on the bed between them, her red lips pulled into a cheery smile. But Steve couldn’t focus because Billy’s lips were also so red and shiny and his eyes were breathtaking--

“So?” Heather asked, a knowing grin on her face. Steve opened and closed his mouth, trying to get back the ability to talk.

“I think he likes it,” Robin chuckled. Steve gave a nod, swallowing thickly. Billy was blushing, Steve could tell by the tips of his ears, and he let out a shaky breath.

“Uh, y-yeah, it’s great. It’s, uh, really great!” His voice shook a little because Billy’s fucking lips were just like, there.

“Thanks!” Heather said, ignoring the way Billy and Steve were staring at each other. “I could do your makeup sometime!”

“Sure,” Steve replied absently, not listening to a word she was saying. Heather rolled her eyes with a smile and crossed her arms.

“Oh my god, I actually can’t take this anymore, just fucking get it over with!” She said, exasperated but having fun. Both boys snapped out of their trance, looking at her with furrowed brows. Heather and Robin locked eyes before rolling them. “You think he looks fucking hot, right?” She directed this to Steve, who spluttered and turned bright red.

“O-Oh, I, uh, yeah? Uh, I mean, uh--”

“This is so embarrassing for you,” Robin said, almost in awe.

“Shut up,” Steve hissed.

“Uhm.” Billy’s voice cut through the tension, and everyone’s attention turned to him. He looked to Steve, still blushing. “You think I look hot?” Steve opened his mouth and Billy, obviously flustered, cut him off with, “I mean, of course you do, I’m a fucking snack.” He sniffed, trying to act unaffected. Heather looked to Robin, wondering if she should put them out of their misery.

“He also wants to suck your dick,” Robin added, making Steve gasp and turn on her, shocked.

“Robin! What the fuck!”

“You do?” Billy’s eyes were wide, but excited. Steve looked at him, shocked.

“What-- I-- Well, yeah.” He rubbed the back of his head and smiled a little awkwardly. Billy smiled.

“Holloway, I need to talk to Steve in your room for a--”

“Oh no, you are not making out in here--”

“Oh come on,” Robin said, grabbing her arm. “Just use the fucking futon, you animals.” And she closed the door behind her. When Heather and Robin returned, having grabbed some pizza and beers for the evening, Steve and Billy were on the futon; Steve’s hair was wild and he had lipstick and gloss smudged around his lips, while Billy’s, lipstick ruined, were stretched into a smug smile.

“I think it’s time you two talked.”

#billy hargrove #steve harrington #harringrove #robin buckley #heather halloway #bucklway #boys in makeup #fluff #short and sweet

319 notes · View notes

ghost-in-the-hella · 4 years

Note

63. “I need a place to stay.” PriceMarsh

Roughly 1 million years later (in fandom years), here it is.

CW for homophobia and implied domestic abuse.

---

When Chloe answers the door at 9pm on Christmas Eve, she isn’t expecting to see her girlfriend. She especially isn’t expecting to see her looking tear-stained and puffy-eyed in her best church clothes, soaked to the skin and carrying a hastily packed backpack.

“Kate! What’s wrong?” she asks, heart immediately hammering anxiously in her chest.

Kate barely manages to get the words out. “I need a place to stay.”

“O-of course, yeah.” Chloe holds the door open and steps back, ushering her inside. It’s too cold and rainy outside for Kate to be standing there without a heavy coat.

“I’m sorry,” Kate starts babbling as soon as she’s over the threshold. “I didn’t know where else to go; the dorms are closed until after New Years and--”

“Hey, hey,” Chloe says soothingly, pulling Kate gently into her arms. “I’m glad you came here. I just wasn’t expecting you, that’s all. But I’m glad you’re here. I missed you.”

Kate hiccups something between a laugh and a sob into Chloe’s shoulder as she hugs her back so hard that Chloe’s ribs ache. “I missed you, too,” she mumbles wetly.

“What’s going on?” David barks from the living room over the sound of the television. “Shut the damn door, girlie; you’re letting all the heat out!”

Chloe gives Kate an extra squeeze, feeling the way she tenses at David’s gruff voice. She kicks out one foot, pushing the door loudly shut.

“Who is it?” Joyce asks, poking her head out of the kitchen, her hands still dripping soap suds. Her eyebrows rise in concern when she sees the state that Kate is in. “Kate, darlin’!” she exclaims, leaving the kitchen and wiping off her hands on a dishcloth. “What’s the matter?”

“I’m sorry, Mrs. Madsen,” Kate says through a fresh wave of tears. “I didn’t mean to interrupt your family so close to Christmas. I’m sorry I didn’t call ahead; she took my phone.”

Chloe’s heart sinks down to her toes and her head starts buzzing numbly. Shit. She’s been dreading this moment ever since she and Kate started dating. “Your mom?”

Kate nods, looking heartbroken. She turns to Chloe. “I didn’t mean to tell her anything,” she says in an agonized rush. “It just slipped out. One of my cousins came out over Thanksgiving, and she was talking all about how he was going to hell and I just meant to defend him and… and… It just slipped out.” Kate’s mouth tightens into a pained snarl. “She was just so convinced that none of her perfect daughters could be ‘like that,’ so convinced it was something his parents did wrong and that he would go to hell, and I couldn’t let her. I couldn’t let her keep saying those things as if she wasn’t talking about her own daughter, too.”

“So she kicked you out,” Chloe says numbly.

Kate nods again, and Joyce’s frown deepens as she sweeps in to put her own arm around Kate’s shoulders. “Well, you’re welcome to stay here as long as you like, Katie, darlin’. I’m sure your mother will come to her senses--” she glares at Chloe when Chloe snorts angrily “--eventually,” she continues determinedly, “but until then you just stay right here with us. Have you had supper?”

Kate shakes her head. “Th-thank you, Mrs. Madsen. I’m sorry to impose, I just didn’t know where else to go; the dorms are closed over break.”

“Never you mind; it’s no imposition. Chloe, would you set up a dinner plate for our guest?”

“Yeah, ‘course.” Chloe lets go of Kate and looks her up and down. She’s sopping wet and shivering. “You wanna grab a shower and warm up while I’m heating the leftovers? You can borrow some of my pjs if you need a change of clothes.”

“Thank you,” Kate says once again, pressing her cold lips gratefully against Chloe’s cheek as Joyce returns to the kitchen and starts bustling about in the refrigerator. “I managed to grab some things before she locked me out, but I don’t know if I’ve even got a complete outfit apart from what I’m wearing.”

Chloe scowls. “I can’t believe your dad let her do this. And on Christmas Eve; what the actual fuck.”

Kate shrugs sadly. “He tried to reason with her, but when she gets like this…” She sighs. “Maybe he’ll be able to talk her around, eventually. At least enough that I can go back and get the rest of my things.”

“He’d fucking better. And if he doesn’t, we’ll break in and take them back,” Chloe promises.

“Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.”

“Parents kicked you out, huh?” David says, suddenly looming in the doorway with a nearly empty beer bottle dangling from one hand. “That’s rough.”

“I… Yes, it is, Mr. Madsen.”

David nods contemplatively, eyes darting back and forth between Kate and Chloe, and Chloe wants to go over and smack his eyes shut. “Well. Sorry t’hear it. I s’pose we can fix up the couch for you ‘til the dorms reopen.”

It’s more than Chloe expected from him but less than Kate deserves. “Kate can stay in my room. We’re both adults.”

David’s expression sours. “Miss Marsh can stay on the couch,” he replies. “Your mother and I already tolerated enough shenanigans when that Amber girl used to stay over. This isn’t a bordello.”

Chloe’s anger flares and she steps forward to say something well-deserved but ill-advised, halted only by Kate’s gentle hand on her elbow. “I can sleep on the couch,” Kate says. “I don’t mind. I fell asleep on the bus ride here; the couch will be much more comfortable, I’m sure. Thank you, Mr. Madsen.”

Step-douche nods at that and disappears back into the living room like some vile ghost. Chloe wishes he’d fuck off and find some other house to haunt. Chloe’s distracted from her thoughts by the soft, cool press of Kate’s lips on the corner of her jaw. Kate slips her fingers into Chloe’s and gives them a squeeze. “I’m going to go shower and get changed. Maybe I’ll feel a bit more stable then. We can figure everything else out afterward, okay?”

“Okay,” Chloe says, turning to kiss Kate back, just a light peck at the edge of her lips. “I’ll heat up some food for you. We can talk it out once you’re warm and dry with a full stomach.”

Kate nods. “I’m probably going to cry a whole lot,” she warns. “I feel sort of numb right now, but I don’t know how long that’s going to last before I break down again.”

“I’ve got two good shoulders,” Chloe tells her. “You can cry on them all you need. I’ve got your back, Angel.”

Kate already looks a bit teary when she pulls Chloe in for a hug. “I should be calling you Angel. You’re the one saving my life here. I don’t know what I would have done tonight if I didn’t have you to run to.”

Kate wouldn’t have to run anywhere if it weren’t for Chloe, but Chloe knows that if she says that out loud Kate will only deny it, so she gives Kate a squeeze and sends her upstairs. Chloe busies herself in the kitchen, trying to focus on setting up the best dinner she can for her girlfriend rather than on the bottomless anger welling up inside of her.

“I just can’t imagine,” Joyce sighs. “And on Christmas Eve, no less! I thought you said they were Christians. What good Christian woman would throw her daughter out on Christmas Eve?”

Chloe shrugs because if she speaks she’ll only shout, and she doesn’t want Kate to hear her yelling and get upset.

Joyce stares at Chloe’s tight shoulders for a moment, her brow furrowed and jaw tensed in contemplation, and she gently takes the plate from Chloe’s hands and puts it into the microwave. “You know that I love you, Chloe. Don’t you?”

Chloe nods, feeling like she might cry or be sick or very possibly both. It isn’t fair. Kate’s the good one. Kate deserves a family that loves and protects her. She deserves better than her mother’s rejection, her father’s inadequacy, Chloe’s bony shoulders to cry on, David’s barely-there tolerance. She deserves the world, and Chloe doesn’t know how to give it to her.

“Oh, Chloe.” Joyce pulls her into a gentle hug, and Chloe’s upset enough that she lets her, sobbing wetly into her mother’s shoulder before she can stop herself. “Chloe, Chloe. We’ll take good care of that girl. She can stay here as long as it takes.”

“Step--”

“I’ll talk to David. Don’t you worry about anythin’, Darlin’.”

Chloe wants to say something cutting about why hasn’t Joyce ‘talked to David’ about not berating her constantly, not invading her privacy, not smacking her around whenever she talks back to him rather than take his shit. But she can hear the shower turning off upstairs and she doesn’t want to get them both kicked out on Christmas Eve with nowhere to go. “Thanks, mom,” she mumbles, wiping her eyes as she pulls out of the embrace. The microwave beeps and Chloe goes to check on the food.

Kate comes downstairs a few minutes later with damp hair hanging around her shoulders, wearing one of her own sleep shirts paired with a severely oversized pair of Chloe’s pajama pants. She’s rolled the cuffs several times and they still drag on the floor. She looks soft and sweet, and Chloe just wants to wrap her up in the protective warmth of her arms and keep her safe forever, never let her go. Chloe draws back the chair in front of Kate’s steaming dinner plate. “Hope you’re hungry. Joyce always makes enough food to feed the whole town around the holidays.”

Kate sits and picks up her fork, giving Chloe a bigger smile than Chloe would’ve expected considering how traumatizing Kate’s night has been so far. “You know, I wasn’t sure I would have an appetite at all, but I’m actually famished.” She scoops up a big dollop of mashed potatoes and gobbles it down, closing her eyes in bliss. Chloe has to smile. Kate really is just too cute. She reaches over and thumbs away a smudge of gravy at the corner of Kate’s mouth. “Your mom’s a really good cook.”

“When she has time, yeah. I, uh. I’m actually a pretty decent cook, too. Had to pick up some of her skillz when it was just the two of us and she was pulling doubles at the diner all the time, y’know?”

“Hmm, good to know.” Kate slowly sets down her fork. “You know… I keep thinking I should feel worse. I should feel worse, shouldn’t I?”

“Probably hasn’t sunk in yet.”

“Maybe. I keep thinking: I should be breaking down, my mother threw me out of the house, my sisters were crying, she’s going to tell them horrible things about me, my father failed to protect me… Most of my life is in that house. My phone, my computer, Alice. But all I can feel is relieved.”

“Relieved.”

Kate nods pensively. “Relieved, and grateful.” She shrugs. “My family knows now. There’s no big secrets left to hide from them. I can stop worrying about what’s going to happen when they find out, because it’s already happened. I can just be my complete self now and not have to worry that it’ll get back to them somehow.” She places her hand over Chloe’s and smiles softly at her. “And grateful because I have you. Because I have a place to go and a person to go to. So many people don’t have that, but I do, and I’m so, so grateful that it’s you.”

Chloe sniffs a little even though she’s not crying - she’s not - and shifts her hand to lock her fingers with Kate’s. “I’m the one who’s grateful for you. I… I wish I had a better place for you to go. Without…” She flails her free hand inarticulately. “Fuckin’ family drama. Without having to look over your damn shoulder in case Sergeant Dickhead’s getting his rage on.”

Kate squeezes Chloe’s hand. “Maybe… Maybe this can be a good thing. Maybe it can be an opportunity for both of us. I was thinking that when I graduate, I’ll want to move out of my parents’ place anyway, find an apartment of my own… I was, um. I was planning to ask if you wanted to join me.”

Chloe blinks rapidly, struggling to keep up. “Wait, like… Get an apartment together? Like, move in together?”

Kate nods shyly. “If you wanted. And now… Maybe it makes sense to start looking sooner. I don’t know if they’re going to keep paying for my dorm room now that I’ve been kicked out, and if they don’t… I mean, even if my dad is willing to keep paying for it, it’s probably better for me to get some distance.” She blushes. “If you want to, of course. It’s okay if you don’t; I didn’t mean to spring this on you so suddenly. I was going to work up to it, try to get a sense of what you wanted to do, if you even wanted to live with me--”

Chloe leans over and kisses Kate hard on the cheek to interrupt her spiral. “I’d love to.”

Kate lights up. “Really?”

“Really. Seriously. I can’t think of anything I’d like better. Our own place? Just you and me, able to decorate shit the way we want, to not have to lie or hide anything or walk on eggshells to keep from pissing off our parents?? Hella yes, I want that!”

“We probably won’t be able to afford anything too nice, and we’ll have to get jobs, but--”

“Fuck, I’m game if you are. I’ll wait tables at the fucking Two Whales if I have to.” Chloe shuts up so that Kate can kiss her. “You and me, Katydid.”

Kate rests her head on Chloe’s shoulder. “You and me. We’re going to make it work.”

“Hell yeah, we are.” Chloe presses another kiss into Kate’s wet hair, and she sits and holds Kate and, for the first time in years, looks forward to the future.

#prompt fill #prompt fic #life is strange #fanfic #pricemarsh #chloe price #kate marsh #ghost writes

22 notes · View notes

superfanficnatural · 4 years

Text

The Choice Part 7

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader, Christian Grey x Reader

Summary: Deciding to get over your crush on Dean, you find Christian, a mysterious billionaire that manages to split your heart into two. Finding out hidden truths, your decision becomes a hard one, who will you choose?

A/N: Really don’t know what to put here lol. As always, I hope you enjoy!

Warnings: Angst.

Word Count: 2,684

Italics are thoughts

Masterpost

*beep* *beep* *beep*

Those were the first sounds you heard.

Your whole body felt like a thousand pounds and you had trouble opening your eyes. Trying to open them felt like attempting to pry open a steel door but eventually you managed to crack them open a bit. Looking around, you took in your surroundings, wires stretching across your body, a blanket on top of you. The room was bright from the amount of light sources, the lamp on your right, the one above you, the ones inside of the ceiling.

“Y/N?” a voice came from your left.

Glancing to your left, Dean was standing next to the bed you were laying in, dark purple bags underneath his eyes, a surprised yet relieved look on his face.

“Oh my god, you’re awake!” he breathed, rushing forward to hug you before he stopped and moved back to his original position.

“What the he-” you coughed, your throat dry and scratchy.

“Here,” he reached over to a tray on the side of your bed, offering you an ice chip that you gratefully accepted.

“What the hell happened?” you asked when your throat was feeling a bit better.

“Y/N, you got shot,” he responded, anger briefly taking over his face.

You thought back to what you last remembered, chasing that guy who stole the woman's purse before tackling him and taking it back. You remembered that once you had returned the purse, there was a searing pain in your abdomen, blood rushing out.

“The random guy who stole the purse,” you whispered.

“Yeah, the woman who had her purse stolen came in to explain what happened while you were asleep.”

“How long?” you wondered.

“Two days,” he solemnly answered.

“Two da- fuck me!” you tried to get up but yelled out in pain before Dean helped you back down.

“You were shot, Y/N. You won’t be able to move for at least another day,” he soothed, reaching out and tucking a few loose hairs behind your ear.

You wouldn’t admit it but the gesture warmed your heart a bit.

“Why are you here?” you spat.

“Why- You got hurt, Y/N! Of course I’m gonna be here,” he replied, seemingly confused on why you would even ask that.

“I’m only your bed warmer, Dean. I don’t know what sick game you’re playing, but I’m not falling for it,” you warned, turning your head to the other side.

“Come on, Y/N! That’s not what you are to me... you’re so much more,” he reluctantly added.

“Oh really? I’m so important that the only attention you have ever shown me is trying to get into my pants? Yeah, right,” you scoffed.

“Look, I know-” he began.

“No, Dean. You don’t ‘know’ anything! God, I’ve wanted you for years and you didn’t even spare me a glance. Now, all of a sudden that I’ve found someone else, you suddenly have interest? No. I don’t know what angle you’re running, but I’m not going to let you keep me miserable,” you said almost all in one breath.

Your admission left him speechless for a few minutes, leading to you scoffing once more.

“That’s what I thought.”

He reached out and grabbed your hand, “Y/N, look at me.”

You didn’t move.

“Y/N, please,” he begged.

You had never heard Dean beg for anything so you were intrigued at the very least. Turning your head, you saw tears streaming down his eyes. What? Is he... crying?

It was right in front of you, yet you still couldn’t believe it.

“I’m sorry,” he choked out.

What in the fuck is going on?

“All these years, I’ve wanted you. Everytime that you would wear my flannel, everytime you stole my fries, everytime you cracked a joke that had me and Sam rolling on the floor. I’ve fallen for you more and more,” he explained.

“Dean, what are yo-”

“Stop, let me finish,” he commanded, rendering you absolutely silent.

“I held myself back, I knew I couldn’t be with you.”

“Why?” you risked.

“Because!” he shouted. “I’m poison! Everyone that has ever gotten close to me dies!” he spat behind gritted teeth, releasing your hand and pacing around the room.

To say you were shocked was an understatement. You knew Dean always had trouble opening up to people but you never would have expected this.

“Then why didn’t you do anything until I met Christian?” you questioned.

“Because I was scared, ok?! I was scared that I was going to lose you!”

You felt your anger spark as well, “So you didn’t want me, and now you do?! What kind of shit is that? Just because I found someone else? What, were you not going to say anything ever?” you shouted, coughing at the end from the pain in your stomach.

Dean walked over but you reached your hand out to stop him as you were coughing.

“Answer the question,” you said after you finished coughing.

“I... I don’t know,” he reluctantly answered.

You nodded, “That’s what I thought.”

“I don’t know what to say, Dean. All I know is that I care for Christian and he cares for me, and he wasn’t afraid to say it.”

“You care for a rich douchebag you just met more than me?!” he paced back and forth at the foot of the bed. “Someone you’ve known for years?!” he ran his hand down his face in frustration and anguish.

“Maybe,” you started, “maybe it’s also because he wasn’t lying to my face about his feelings. Maybe because he wasn’t fucking everything around him with two legs,” you glared at him. “Maybe because he was upfront with his feelings from the get go!” you called out.

“I’m sorry-”

“Yeah, I heard you the first time,” you spat with venom in your voice.

The two of you were cut off by the nurse walking in, “Looks like you’re finally awa-” she paused, looking at the two of you breathless.

“I... um. Sir, can I ask you to leave while I check on the patient?” she kindly asked.

Dean stayed glued to his spot, not breaking eye contact with you until eventually, he listened to the nurse and unwillingly began to walk towards the door. Before leaving, he paused and looked back at you with a broken yet pleading expression.

Dean’s POV

I walked out of the room, feeling hopeless, my anger from before turning into despair. As I walked out, Sam returned from the cafeteria where he got me some food. He kept pressing that I needed sleep and food but I was not budging from her room until she woke up.

“Hey, is she awake?” he asked, about to walk past me and into the room.

I put my hand on his chest to stop him, “Yeah, but the nurse is in there right now.”

“What’s going on?” he paused. “Did something happen between you two?”

“How-” I was about to ask before I realized Sam had always been able to read me like a book. “Nothing.”

He gave me his classic bitch face, “Really?”

I sighed in annoyance and sat down on one of the chairs in the hallway, “Don’t worry about it, she’ll get over it.”

“‘She’ll get over it’?” Sam scoffed in disbelief. “Dean, do you hear yourself? $20 says that you were the one who started whatever argument you guys got into.”

I wasn’t in the mood to go over everything that happened, “Sam, drop it.”

He huffed out in annoyance, “Fine, I’ll just ask her.” I was about to tell him it was none of his damn business but didn’t want the conversation to continue either.

We both sat down in the chairs across from her room, silently waiting for the nurse to leave.

“How did you know where she was?” I asked.

“She had called me and asked me to pick her up from the bar.”

I motioned for him to continue.

“The second I arrived, I heard a gunshot and ran towards it. I saw Y/N on the floor with a pool of blood surrounding her and I knew I couldn’t do anything myself, so I called an ambulance,” he explained, looking off into the distance as he was remembering what happened.

This entire time I had been so focused on Y/N that I didn’t think of the asshole who shot her.

“Did you see the dude who shot her?” I asked.

He shook his head, “No, the guy ran off and I had Y/N to worry about.”

Maybe she knew who it was, I have to ask her when I’m allowed back in.

A few minutes later, the door opened and the nurse from before stepped out of the room.

Sam and I got up, “Is she ok?” I asked, unable to hold back the worried tone in my voice.

“She’s stabilized, though, we’re going to have to keep her for another day.”

“As long as she’s ok,” Sam added.

She nodded with a tight lipped smile and turned to walk away, me and Sam walking back into the room.

Your POV

The second the nurse left the room, Sam and Dean basically barged in with worried looks on their faces. You wanted to stay mad at Dean but you couldn’t give it away to Sam, instead opting to void your face of emotion.

“Hey, Sam,” you greeted with a slight smile. Hey, jackass, you thought to Dean.

He came up to the bed and placed a kiss on the top of your head, “I’m glad you’re ok, kiddo.”

“Kiddo? You only got a few years on me,” you chuckled and slapped his chest.

He grinned and shrugged, backing away.

“Y/N, do you remember who shot you?” Dean asked.

“Oh, so now you’re a detective?” you remarked, unable to hide the anger in your voice.

Sam looked between the two of you awkwardly, his suspicions between you two confirmed.

“Y/N, look, we need to find out who he was.”

“Just some random guy, brown eyes, light stubble, broken nose and probably black eye after what I did to him,” you smirked. “He probably just got pissed he didn’t make his score,” you shrugged. Dean huffed out in annoyance while Sam nodded.

The tension in the room was like it could be cut with a knife, you refused to make eye contact with Dean while he was staring longingly at you. Sam was just standing there awkwardly, shifting his weight between his two legs as he looked at his feet.

“Well, this is awkward,” you chuckled, unbothered.

Sam nervously laughed along with you while Dean looked annoyed.

“Wouldn’t be if you would just let me speak,” Dean muttered.

“Sorry, did you say something, Dean?” you pressed.

“Nothing, nothing at all,” Dean spat, turning around and slamming the door on his way out.

“Uh... what was that?” Sam questioned.

You sighed, “Dean being an asshole, that’s what it was.”

“What is going on between you two?”

“Nothing, Sam. Don’t worry about it,” you brushed him off.

“No, I am going to worry about it because you guys are my family. Dean refuses to tell me anything-”

“What’s new?”

“-which means that you are gonna tell me,” he continued over you.

He was giving you that goddamn puppy eye look and you swear you felt like punching a wall because it was working.

“Fine,” you huffed, “Dean is angry because I refuse to accept he wants me to be anything but his bed warmer.”

“You ever think that he might be telling you the truth?” he raised his eyebrow.

“Sam,” you rolled your eyes, “Dean is a fucking asshole.”

“Well that was blunt,” he chuckled.

“He’s an emotionally unstable douchebag that only decided to show interest the second I found someone else,” you ranted angrily.

“Did he-”

“Yes.”

“How did he-”

“Terribly.”

He let out a sigh, “Well, I can’t say that I’m surprised.”

You nodded your head in agreement, “To be honest, I expected it to go worse.”

The two of you sat in a comfortable silence for a while, the tension from before nowhere to be found due to Dean’s absence.

“How are you feeling?” he asked softly.

You were grateful to have someone like Sam in your corner, a brother that you had always wanted, “I feel groggy, that’s about it,” you said. “Except my stomach hurts like a bitch.”

He chuckled, “The morphine not working?”

“It is but I can tell. Plus, they might give me more if I say it still hurts,” you winked.

He laughed a full body laugh and it brought a smile to your face, happy to see him smiling after all of this.

Glancing over to the clock, you noticed that it was nearly 11pm, “Sam, take Dean and go back to the bunker to get some rest. The two of you smell horrible anyways,” you smirked.

“Shut up,” he grinned, “you smell worse.”

“Ugh I probably do, I ever tell you I hate hospitals?”

“Yes, hundreds of times.”

“Well, I’m saying it again, I hate hospitals,” you said in disgust.

The two of you shared a laugh as Sam got up, “Alright, but we’ll be back in the morning.”

“Please, don’t bring Dean with you,” you rolled your eyes.

“You and I both know he’s going to come anyways.”

“I wouldn’t think so,” you scoffed.

“He might surprise you,” he muttered to himself as he left the room.

About an hour after Sam left, the nurse from before walked back in, “Hello, Y/N. Is there anything I can help you with before lights out?” she asked kindly.

You smiled in return, “I’m good, thank you.”

She nodded and turned the lights off, leaving the room.

You tried to sleep but had a lot of struggle, your abdomen refusing to let you rest peacefully unless you faced the ceiling. After about half an hour of struggling to fall asleep, exhaustion took over you and you fell into a restless sleep.

The sudden intrusion of light woke you up and you snapped your eyes open. Looking around, you saw a new figure standing in the room.

“Morning, Y/N. My name is Doctor Bigby, I was the one who performed surgery on you.”

You relaxed, “Oh.”

“Taking a look at your vitals, you seem to be healing very nicely, you should be out of here by tonight,” he explained, as if he knew you wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

“Thank god,” you muttered before you could stop yourself, drawing a chuckle from the doctor.

“Just wanted to check up on you, I’ll be coming back in a few hours,” he said before leaving the room.

You sat in silence for about an hour, bored out of your mind. There was a tv in the room and you watched it for a while until you got sick of it, turning it off and just staring at the wall.

Suddenly the door opened and Sam walked in. Thank god. Dean walked in behind him and you struggled to hold in your eye roll.

“Hey, Y/N. How are you feeling today?” Sam asked, coming up to the bed.

“Better, not as groggy anymore,” you admitted.

Dean stayed back, watching the two of you interact.

“The doctor said I could get out by tonight, that I’m healing well.”

“That’s good news,” he smiled.

After that, the three of you stayed in silence, the only sound in the room was the beeping of your heart rate monitor.

“I’m starving, I think I’m gonna go get something to eat,” Sam rushed out a little too fast and left the room; you and Dean being left alone once again.

You once again refused to make eye contact with him as you stared off into the distance, unwilling to even speak with him.

“Y/N, I-” he began before he was cut off by the door opening.

You looked over at who walked in and your eyes widened in both surprise and fear.

Next Part

The Choice Tag List: @fuckthis-and-fuckthat @spnfamily-j2 @greenarrowhead @vicmc624 @pie-with-hunters @m-winchester-67 @ellewritesfix05

Forevers Tag List: @magssteenkamp @shadowsinger11 @donnaintx @flamencodiva @impala-1979 @talesmaniac89

Dean/Jensen Forever Tags: @akshi8278 @jensengirl83

Female Reader Tags: @punof-agun @emoryhemsworth

#dw #reader #dean #dean winchester #dean x reader #dean winchester x reader #supernatural #supernatural fanfiction #supernatural imagine #supernatural x reader #christian grey #50 shades of grey #series #new series #reader insert #dean imagine #dean fanfiction #angst

80 notes · View notes

palmtreepalmtree · 4 years

Text

Alright, friends and enemies. I’m back with the most recent edition of The Worst Movie on Netflix Right Now™.

Tonight, we’re gonna talk about a little movie called Roped.

I’d love to say that you can learn everything you need to know about this movie from its one-sheet, but naw. I mean, you look up you see a cowboy and a cowgirl kissin’ in the rain. Nothing like a little ranching love, right?

Yeah, no. The premise of this movie is that a rodeo rolls into a small Northern California town where it immediately faces opposition from the animal-rights progressives who don’t want that kind of cruelty-for-entertainment in their town.

The main characters are young rodeo rider Colton, played by legitimate hottie Josh Swickard, and pre-frosh at UC Santa Cruz Tracy, played by....

...Lauren Swickard? Yeah. Looks like the two stars of this little film got married last year. She was originally credited on the production as ‘Lorynn York’, but she’s making a change. And you know, what? Good on you, Lauren. You’re a good looking couple and I wish you both many happy returns.

And now I’m going to insult your very fine work in this here production of Roped.

So Tracy wants to be a lawyer and is entering a 6-year program at UC Santa Cruz to get her law degree fast (Is this even a thing? Never heard of it). But in her last summer in her small hometown (somewhere in Sonoma, I believe), the rodeo has come into town. Only thing is her town councilman dad (played by Casper Van Dien, helllllloooo daddy), is a passionate vegetarian and thinks the rodeo should leave.

That’s it. That’s the conflict. It’s a cheap-ass reverse version of Footloose, where the preacher’s councilman’s daughter just wants to go to the rodeo and eat a damn cheeseburger but her father won’t let her because of his values.

I gotta tell you folks, the biggest problem with this movie is that it’s fucking boring. There is no meaningful conflict here. Yeah, her dad gets mad when he catches her doing various shocking things like sneaking in a half hour past her 12:30 curfew. But Tracy and Colton are both adults and there is nothing stopping them from having a summer fling.

A summer fling that involves nothing more than consensual kissing---but only once Tracy has ended things with her asshole high school boyfriend. He’s careful to make sure not to kiss her before then. Because that would be morally wrong. “Love is worth the risk”? What fucking risk? Everything in this movie is set up to be so perfectly honorable and polite that there’s nothing interesting going on. The stakes are so low, I started to wonder if this was a movie or just a Ken Burns’ documentary about America’s heartland.

But then I remembered. Oh yeah. If this was a documentary, there would be a hell of a lot more Jesus in this movie.

And that’s the thing that just really sucks about Roped. It’s bullshit. It presents a world in which the animal-loving townspeople are so closed-minded they can’t see the beauty and value of the rodeo. They’ve lost touch with the history of the rodeo. And they don’t know rodeo people, because if they did, they would understand how well rodeo people value the animals and how well treated and cared for the animals are.

Now look, I don’t know shit about animal treatment and the rodeo. I’m not wading into that business here. But I have been to two rodeos in the last ten years, including a fairly recent one in Yuma, Arizona. And if there is one thing this movie gets plain wrong is that no one at this fictional rodeo ever talks about Jesus. And that matters.

Consider how a Christian movie review site describes the themes in Roped:

“ROPED has a strong moral worldview where the rodeo cowboys overcome the Romantic, politically correct, progressive, environmentalist worldview of the townspeople led by Tracy’s vegetarian father. The cowboys show the closed-minded progressives how the cowboys actually take care of and love the rodeo animals. The movie also extols family and thankfulness.”

And you know what? That’s an accurate description of the film.

But if the politically correct progressives are the closed-minded ones, does that mean the rodeo cowboys are open and accepting of all peoples? Is that what we’re supposed to take away here?

If so, that’s a fucking fantasy. And a delusional one at best.

I mentioned having been to a rodeo recently, because the one I attended opened with the emcee announcing to the crowd that there are people in this country who want to take away religious freedom and take away their right to worship god, but there at the rodeo, they would never stop worshiping our lord and savior Jesus Christ, and god bless the rodeo and god bless the United States of America. The crowd uproariously applauded.

Now I have no problem with opening an event with an invocation or prayer. It can be a meaningful and thoughtful moment. It can invite all people into a moment of welcoming and thoughtfulness. But it’s quite another to begin an event with a declaration that your right to worship Jesus is under attack, and to equate loving god with being a patriot. As an atheist and a Jewish person who does not accept Jesus into my heart, I felt so uncomfortable, I felt like I should leave.

And that’s the problem with so many of these small town fantasy movies. They present these smalls towns as loving and caring communities. People who look out for each other in a way that people don’t do in the big city. People connected by bonds to the land and this small town life. And sometimes they mention God.

But they don’t talk about Jesus. Not the way real people in the United States talk about Jesus. So often, real people in these small towns talk about Jesus in a way that excludes all others from that warm circle of welcoming that they feel so proud of.

This is not everyone. It’s not. I don’t want anyone to walk away from this post thinking that I dislike Christians. I do not. I actually think there can be something valuable in any religion and especially in the communities built around them. But those communities have to be open to all and they have to be respectful of those who are different.

And for this movie to thematically accuse its progressives of being closed-minded without fully and accurately representing the way that rodeo culture can also be closed-minded makes this film doubly reprehensible. Not only is it boring and bad, its moral superiority is unearned bullshit. And for that, it is The Worst Movie on Netflix Right Now™.

But hey, at least Christian film reviewers and profane atheist film reviewers can agree on some things:

That said, ROPED is a lackluster romantic drama that doesn’t evoke any emotion in the audience other than making viewers want to watch something else.

Giiiiiiiiiiiirl, same.

#the worst movie on netflix right now #ptpt reviews #moral superiority is fucking useless

33 notes · View notes

startwithbrooklyn · 3 years

Text

THE GREAT ND REWATCH OF 2021 / SEPTEMBER 30, 2019 // larkspur lane/the whisper box

this post is a double whammy cause they have 2 eps happen in the same day if u can believe it (thats how awful judging timelines in this show is!!)

-"hi josh..." LMAOOOOOOO

-BESS just breaking in lmaooo how many god damn times does bess just shit the bed in this show

-LOVE her frowny face at nancys closet ("my expectations are low" lmfaoooo but this would totally be me)

-"bet she meant it metaphorically" okayyy but then why did lucy say that at all? i feel like theres defo more to this story, combined with josh's cagey behavior (part of which is to get nancy to stop looking into shit d/t him and karen but still)

-"they dont accept visitors unless they're family" .....🙂

-ace "youre really good at that" to bess i fuckin love this friendship with all my heart (also love their talk at the claw mirroring nick & nancys talk in the last ep)

-also PINK AND ORANGE BESS ARE U BLIND (also 1) why tf would nancy own this and 2) where would she wear it??)

-okay wtf is vampire dip

-"boss??" see this is what i meant yesterday about nancy ruining everything for nick/george

-god DAMN she sucks at dealing with this news lmaooo that emotional competency babey + love george literally agrees to help bc she feels bad (AND nicks immediate look of "you just reprimanded me for helping her last ep and i know why youre doing this rn" lmaoooo)

-LOVE george noticing nick "shout out to jean valjean" lmaooo once again nancy would never have noticed/commented on something like that

-"get the hell out of here" was this foreshadowing for an epic dad joke for these two eps? "how do you make holy water? you boil the hell out of it" 😂😂😂😂

-so what i dont get about the whole haunting is the ball + kids' laughter but its all the emphasis on "mr roper" the adult? wtf like what kind of entity is this

-"how did you ever have a solo career??" 😂

-okay amaya's hair is gorgeous here (also "you feel like a snack" ....👀) *ahhh so the reason bess feels so off balance is bc its like a top vs a top scenario

-has anyone who's ever been to prison confirmed this is what it looks like?

-love how ace is the only employee there when they all leave so he had to fucking close the place when he goes

-why does she take the whole file? time constraints? it'd be smarter to take pics + replace it (better sleuthing) but this place is clearly not well run anyway 😂

-so this is a pretty decent cover she invents but theres no way she would get away with it so easily for a real guard

-love how ace recognizes ryan's car (+ is able to find it by driving around)

-"my father wouldnt do anything like that" LMFAOOOOOO SIS WHY ARE U DEFENDING HIM ironically, ace is actually the best person suited to engage w ryan here d/t the car accident + connection with laura being ryans SIL. its a unique set up

-i am fascinated by the concept of priests + holy water being so effective here combined with mcginnis' beliefs and basically nondenominational ghosts/seances etc after that. the show is very clearly big on diversity but definitely steers clear from too much WASP stuff yk? wonder if other stuff from christianity works against the ghosts/demons like taking refuge in a church "holy ground" or using silver etc

-"did this start after the night of sept 10?" *this is where you get the time line for the seance if you didnt know

-this is so fucking funny when u realize that patient sal talks to is actually a ghost so sal really is psycho i guess 😂

-bitchsplain/tall jar of mayonnaise 🙏🏻😌 2gether 4ever

-how did ace get this van? also heart attack when he yells at carson (but then grins at him like a goofball lmaooo)

-"for nancys sake and yours" damn she owes ace big time for all this shit

-"what do we do for 7 minutes?" ...ummm play 7 minutes in heaven lmaooo 👀🥵

-was not expecting ace to look this sexy holding an axe but okay (*ah, its his short sleeve shirt showing his arms. usually hes a sleeves guy)

-"desperate for attention" nancy (from gomber) vs "bc she's starved for attention" patrice --> lucy (and candace also...) we know nancys detective work makes her seem like an attention seeker, but what was lucy doing to make them all think that? she was trying to hide her relationship with ryan, not expose it. unless they just mean the rumors about her?

-so is patrice hiding lucy's "truth" talking about lucy being a whore or lucy being a ghost? what is lucy's secret? did patrice guess she was pregnant or did patrice's somehow garbled mind remember tiffany trying to show patrice the video with lucy on it?

-wonder what captain thom thinks of this stand off w ace lmaooo

-"like you do?" top v top shenanigans

-how awko for carson to talk to karen again like this

-"oh no" ACE 😂

-love how amaya says "be a human" like shes kind of admitting people in rich circles typically arent (^this is an interesting focus in s2 when bess's rich family rejects her, thus making her human again, but nancy embraces her rich fam and experiences subsequent moral struggle which is predicted with the wraith)

-wonder what ryan thinks he could get from the marvins (which he cant get now lmaooo)

-this damn whisper box. so many questions. who named it the whisper box? why are the ropers' old possessions still there? who decided to build a mental hospital on top of it? and patrice! she "hid lucy's secrets" hannah gruen thinks tiffany tried to show patrice video w lucy on it, which patrice then specifically says she hid in the thin mans book. so patrice knows of the thin man? can she see him? does she know he was a ghost/supernatural? she must have a supernatural sense to know about him (unless sal told or some shit) so then when tiffany shows up w/ lucy being supernatural in it patrice hides it to protect her? is this why she is "crazy" kinda like victoria? supernatural elements or ability to sense ghosts makes her unstable? this is why lucy being a ghost/nursery rhyme that she repeats makes patrice worse/"stroke"? how did patrice even get into the whisper box to put the key in the bible and get out without getting trapped? also, her dementia --> lucidity is really fucking off, some people mildly switch like that but usually with dementia they cant even register new shit anymore

-...so did bess take the ride? 👀

-interesting how celia says "your father will be disappointed" but nothing of her own opinion. wonder how much celia truly puts up with to keep everett calm and nonhomicidal

-like george asking nick follow up questions that nancy never really would have asked

🥞🥞🥞(ep13)🥞🥞🥞

-is this bitch just eating a plain pancake with her bare hand?

-"extra case load and excessive volunteering" ugh. nancy's family here are like, gross in how "good" of people they are // unrealistic, trying to paint carson in the best light/ no way ryan could ever compare (but the reality is theyre not that good of people for lying about nancy) **and shes arrogant to think shes better than everyone else ie the only one who truly lives virtuously, thinks she can do no wrong sometimes even tho using sex to cope, breaking and entering, etc is not morally "good" stuff she still thinks she is the only one who doesnt lie and plays fair (like in the pilot she lists everyone else as a suspect but herself- obviously we know she isnt guilty but no one else does. (i mean in theory we really dont, what if nancy was an unreliable narrator and was actually guilty, that would be a hella cool show)its reactions like that where she cant understand why others like the chief suspect her

-ooooh ironic that in the Good Place carson readily agrees to pay her for helping with cases as opposed to s2 in reality

-nick's house has "problems" so why does he need a lawyer? as opposed to an interior designer, plumber, or realtor?

-in the Good Place nick and george realize they are not going to work out after one date. does this failure in the Good Place predict failure in reality, or merely an easier way of figuring out the truth? does this mean that the "opposite" of the Good Place is reality, or only an opinion of what is better? (nancy says "you all like me" as her opinion of them liking her is skewed; does this then only reflect nancys version for what is the "perfect life"?)

-why is bess a hippie??? and love how george curls her hair and wears pink lipstick here

-if this dream is so realistic then why is the one thing it cant conjure smoke? like how random

-love the locket being a key realization bc with things like jewelry you dont notice the weight of them until theyre gone

-"you all like me" in her perfect life nancy means they "like" her objectively/regardless of circumstance even though liking her is still an objective choice (like they "like" her because of other reasons instead of her working at the claw? (like how you make friends with coworkers/people at school every day but after you leave the job/graduate you never speak to them again) and her "thanks for showing up!" as if theyre not doing exactly that in reality 😐like where is she getting this shit? she sort of acknowledges in earlier eps she is hard to like/that she puts mysteries before friends, but also pushing them away to avoid danger like the previous ep "why do u show up" etc

-is it just me or does the inside of nicks "house" look like the drews'?

-nick has a dick scar lmaooooo (or more likely was hit in the balls or smth)

-love how nick + george match their anger in confronting sal 100% on the same level

-so when did ace go back to work after having such a busy day earlier?? lmaooo

-damn father shane is a creep (casting defo hired him for his voice) and how tf did he just poof + escape? and what did he request???

-love bess's white hair bow here 😌+ her jacket, whole outfit on point as usual

-like how bess is right that nancy has to find her way out but thats kind of a nonstarter for a room full of panicked people wanting to help

-in the Good Place theres no bad blood between drews + hudsons bc nancy is really theirs

-"the only one who has the key is you" in the Good Place nancy has the key (smaller picture, to finding out what happened to lucy but bigger picture, post-reveal) but ryan has the clues nancy needs- following the Good Place's mirroring, this just means that in reality ryan will either be completely useless or an active hindrance (but you KNOW this is a dream bc in what universe would ryan remember clues like that 😂)

-so in a perfect universe ryan acknowledges his family's "criminal empire" as opposed to reality where he only makes under cover jabs about disengaging with being an "entitled corrupt legacy criminal" ie finding the bonny scot relics but does nothing about them, etc

-"strippers" 😂

-okay what is nancys obsession w her beanie?? bc her mom made it? "wear beanies do crimes?" idk

-making the call: nancy -unable to make up for lost time/both her mothers had to find out/suffer alone / in the Good Place nancy was able to be with kate while she called, and in reality she had carson; somethig about seeing the mother looking to the daughter for strength in the Good Place instead of the reverse (which is what reality sounded like, kate being strong for nancy through the illness despite the struggle)

-concept: nancy & nick "let's wait out the storm"

-"i believe that you believe it" nick in the Good Place + owen in reality both trust nancy when she says she's seen things (owen's is the teeth) but nick in reality (and not really knowing details) doesnt think much of their "moment" bc it wasnt real (so she had to leave the Good Place to save carson- but if she had known then he wasnt her real dad, would she have stayed to be w nick?)

-stranger - suede james 💙👌🏻

-"really anxious as a kid" v telling bc of her desire to know everything to remain in control of situations like she always does now

-"the medicine or the metaphysics?"/"you cannot beat supernatural with science"

-i love nancy playing with her pinky while saying goodbye 🥺

-"always seek out the truth even if it hurts" this is straight irony bc kate never told nancy anything. like does that include the truth about nancys parentage? they taught her to seek out the truth, but who taught her that the truth is the only thing to live by? ie things dont count anymore like carson and kate straight up raising her is tossed out bc she finds out its not "the truth" like all that work/stress to protect carson + she just drops him? with kate maybe shes just upset thst she spent all that time mourning for someone who lied. and would she do the same to ryan if needed? probably

-bess and ace head tilt 💙

-like how for all the time she spent there nancy only has a subconscious memory of blue curtains

-YESSSSS i LOVEthese beautiful overhead shots of hannah's hands. so out of character for the show lmao but so gorgeous

-i feel like future eps/grand future will be nancy going through the lock boxes to help people who asked hannah for help

-the video is officially dated Aug 22, 2019

-soooooo in the first ep nancy breaks into the hudsons house and finds tiffanys secret drawer w the nail polish and finds the amulet with a note that says "for your protection HG" yet on this video tiffany says she talked to a medium who gave her the amulet sooooo am i just confused? HG is hannah gruen obvi so is the address for the medium what hannah gave her? or was the address on the amulet which nancy dissolved in salt water to see? so how would tiffany know where to go? its chicken and the egg which came first hannah or the medium?

and lastly:

i close these two eps with a thought that everything in this show is sealed in death. all the lies, the imagery, the fake constructs people put up to get by all crumple the second someone dies- all the secrets come clean just like these doors have been unsealed.

#brooklyn's ND primer #nancy drew cw #the Great Rewatch of 2021 #you best start believing in ghost stories miss drew - you're in one

1 note · View note

xhaotixaesthetica · 5 years

Text

Yandere Ateez Headcanons

Starlink Intergalactic Navigator

You are in: The Asteroid Belt

READ THE TRIGGER WARNING: This post contains mentions and discussion of abusive relationships, threats, violence, death, supernatural creatures, depression, self-harm, disturbing sexual themes and mental illness. The behaviors and relationships depicted below are abusive and unhealthy. These are not examples of healthy relationships, it’s actually the opposite. This is meant to imagine the members of Ateez in a popular anime trope and it in no way represents their real-life personalities and characters. It’s fiction, it’s for fun, PLEASE DON’T READ IT IF YOU KNOW YOU WON’T LIKE IT OR THIS KIND OF STUFF DISTURBS YOU!

Word Count: 6.3K+

Hongjoong

The Perfect Boyfriend

Kim Hongjoong seems like the perfect man and in the beginning, he would be. But it’s an act. Seonghwa and Hongjoong are actually very similar. They both feel little to no emotion and that’s part of why they’re such good friends. But Hongjoong is different from Seonghwa in that he feels desire, but only for one thing. Control. Hongjoong hates feeling small or weak and he gets off on having complete mastery of a situation. Hongjoong is very much aware that his size is the first thing people see and he overcompensates for that in every single way. Think of Christian Bale’s role in American Psycho, except Hongjoong is actually attractive and very manipulative.

Hongjoong would sweep you off your feet, bringing you flowers and food, giving you compliments, being your shoulder to lean on, reading your mood perfectly and always knowing what you want and being available to give it to you. Hongjoong’s control over your life would happen so gradually that you probably wouldn’t even realize until it’s too late. You’ve quit your job, you depend on him financially, your friends are friends with him, your parents love him, whenever something’s wrong they tell him. Hongjoong is everywhere in your life without ever having to be anywhere.

Hongjoong’s best feature is that he’s not delusional. He knows what society expects of you as a couple and he makes sure you two follow that image exactly. He wants everyone to see how good he is for you, how much of an amazing boyfriend he is, his ego won’t tolerate anything else. You have friends because it would be an insult for him if he wasn’t able to control you without eliminating all outside forces. You can still see your parents because it’s expected of you, because he can’t stand if they thought anything bad of him.

He feels literally nothing for you, for a long time. He might think you’re cute and you might amuse him sometimes but that’s about it. But he damn sure won’t let you go and he won’t let anyone else touch him, only because it’s the principle of the thing for him.

Hongjoong does not see you as a person, he sees you as an object, a trained pet. The only reason he doesn’t cheat is because what kind of man would he be if he didn’t have mastery over his sexual urges? He can’t cheat on you and have people think he’s less than perfect.

Hongjoong has an obnoxiously long list of rules that he expects you to follow to the letter and if you don’t you will be punished. Hongjoong doesn’t necessarily enjoy physical punishments, but he doesn’t have a problem with them. He does what he feels is necessary to teach you to obey, nothing more, nothing less. Hongjoong’s lack of feelings toward you will really become evident in times like these, because he has no issue with beating you within an inch of your life and will feel no sympathy afterward. Depending on his mood, he’ll either be amused or disgusted at how weak he finds you and will say things like, “You’re going to leave me when you’re this pathetic? You need me, love. This is your fault, if you weren’t such a moron and knew how to follow simple instructions, I wouldn’t have had to do this.”

A sure-fire way to make your punishment worse is to make a scene or disobey him in public where there’s a risk of tarnishing his reputation. Hongjoong is very good at putting on the big teary eyes, and the hurt puppy dog look so he actually gets all the sympathy, but trust me, he’s not hurt, he’s pissed and the minute you get behind closed doors, he’s going to unleash hell on you.

Hongjoong is unique in that he wouldn’t develop any actual emotional attachment for a long time, possibly years. For all the other members, it’s pretty much an instantaneous thing, but for Hongjoong, it takes time, and there’s no particular reason, it just does. There’s nothing you can do to speed up this process, but following all his dumbass rules will make the process way less unpleasant.

However, it is just a matter of time. He’s guaranteed to feel something for you at some point, there’s just no guessing when that will be.

THIS IS NOT A GOOD THING.

I don’t think he’ll be any more lenient on you after he falls for you, but at the very least he might give you some sort of aftercare, after a punishment.

He will add more rules though and he’s more possessive and jealous now. By this time, you’ve probably learned his rules so well that punishments will be little to none once you get used to the new ones. You’ll start seeing your friends and family less as he desires to keep your presence around more, but you’ll still see them enough that it can just be chalked up to the busy lives that come with age.

He won’t be sorry for anything he ever put you through either. In his eyes, it was all his discipline and punishments that let you evolve from a lowly pet to someone worthy of him spending the rest of his life with.

“See, love? I told you I would make you happy one day.”

Seonghwa

The Ice King

Park Seonghwa has never been able to remember feeling any emotion. Not love, not happiness, not anger, not hate, not curiosity, not anything. He went through life, following instructions, and becoming the pinnacle of success all at his parent’s and relative's own bidding. He had never had any desire before, so never felt the need to rebel against their wishes, completely fine with letting his family push him so hard so he could graduate early and be leading a successful company by the young age of twenty-one.

I see you being his personal assistant or something.

Unlike his friend Hongjoong, the minute Seonghwa saw you, something broke inside him. He didn’t just feel something, he felt everything, and only for you. Seonghwa has no damn idea of how people work, so he just assumes that you feel the same. He expects that you belong to each other the minute you met and the only reason he doesn’t say anything is because it doesn't even cross his mind that he has to. He expects you to know who you belong to and, in his mind, everything about you is his. He thinks the feelings that he felt for you were so strong and instantaneous, that there’s absolutely no way you didn’t feel them too.

In Seonghwa’s mind, the minute you walked through the damn door, you both were in a committed relationship.

However, despite all the feelings that well up inside him when he looks at you, he’ll treat you like everyone else without even knowing it. He’s just as frigid and monotoned, eyes just as dead. He doesn’t look at you or talk to you more than normal or more than necessary.

Seonghwa thinks that tiny ass things like letting his gaze linger on you for two seconds more than usual or using your name when he refers to you or letting you walk in front of him or giving two compliments on your work in a day as opposed to none are obvious signs of PDA, but they’re things that everyone else, even you, don’t think twice about.

The only thing out of the ordinary besides his intense internal obsession is that Seonghwa hires someone to watch you.

He thinks it’s normal, practical even. You’re the “girlfirend” of a powerful man, he has plenty of enemies in rival companies who would love to hurt him and people who would take those he holds dear for ransom so he thinks you should have protection. He doesn’t realize that, even though those things are true, you would literally never be targeted because his displays of affection are so undetectable that no one knows he cares about you.

But this bodyguard doesn’t just protect you. He reports everything, even your smallest actions to Seonghwa. Not just where you’re going or what you’re doing, it’s creepy shit like what color underwear you put on, what position you were sitting in when you watched tv, what body part you washed first in the shower, weird shit like that. He wants to know everything about you, wants to be able to fantasize about you down to the most minute, accurate detail.

You’ll only realize something’s wrong when you’re supposed to go on a date one weekend.

Being Seonghwa’s assistant keeps you pretty busy. A CEO is pretty much a never-ending job and even when he travels, you’re normally with him to assist him. Despite having nothing but a work relationship, you’re actually rarely without him without even realizing it. You don’t mind at all Seonghwa has never been less than courteous to you, if a little cold, but he’d like that with everyone. Besides you get benefits like insurance, a 401K, a “company” car, and tons of other stuff (that none of his other assistants have ever had) along with an outstanding by the hour salary with glorious pay for overtime and traveling with him. Still, the one thing you don’t normally get is free time which is why you were pretty happy to have some time off.

Your date is supposed to pick you up at six but the clock hits seven and they’re a no-show. You’re starting to think you’ve been stood up and you don’t know the person so you’re not particularly upset, just annoyed that you wasted all that time and energy getting ready to go out. You’re about to change into your nightclothes and call it a night when your door suddenly opens and Seonghwa stalks in, key in hand like he lives there.

There’s a flurry of questions in your head. How did he get that key, why is he here, what the hell is happening?

But all of them die down when you notice the spatters of blood on his clothes and your blood turns cold.

Seonghwa doesn’t understand what you were doing by setting up the date. Why were you going to cheat on him? Were you trying to make him jealous? Did you want him to prove his love for you?

He’ll only learn that this isn’t the way relationships work when you tell him and even then, he won’t care.

He feels that he’s in too deep, he needs you, he can’t let you go.

Seonghwa won’t particularly blame you for hating him at first, but he won’t let you go and he’ll use the threat of ruining you and all your loved one’s reputations if you try and make a scene in public or tell someone what he’s doing.

For the most part, he lets you be, as long as you’re in the house. Even though he wants you to touch and love him, he doesn’t feel the need to force you and wants you to do it in your own time.

For the most part, Seonghwa doesn’t really punish you. He’ll kind of just stand there, dead-eyed and let the insults roll off him, might even walk away to do something else, or do some work while you scream at him.

Even when you flirt with someone else or someone hits on you, he’ll kill the person in cold-blood or have them assassinated, but he won’t do anything to you. The only thing you can do to piss him off is tell him that you hate him or, ironically, tell him how cold he is.

Seonghwa absolutely cannot take the thought of you hating him. Disliking him, he can understand. He’s done things that he would never forgive anyone for if they did to him and he has hope that your dislike will go away with time. But hate is eternal for him. When he hates people, he kills them. Do you want to hurt him?

He can’t stand it when you call him cold because to him, it means he’s not enough. He doesn’t express his affection in a normal way and he only cares about you, but he thinks that he’d proven himself to you by doing things for you that no one else would. Things that he’d never do for anyone else. He feels like he can’t even breathe when he sees you, and you have the nerve to call him cold?

I don’t see Seonghwa ever physically hurting you like Hongjoong, I see him isolating you. A dark room with no windows, no smells, no sounds, no sights, nothing. It feels like hell.

To Seonghwa, this is what it feels like without you and he wants to condition you to associate a lack of his presence with this feeling of dark, suffocating nothingness. Even if it takes a long time, it probably ends up working. There’s only so much the human mind can take.

“I killed them for you. You’re all that I care about and I won’t let anyone get in the way of that.”

Yunho

The Damsel in Distress Next Door

Yeosang and Yunho’s headcanons might be shorter and more normal than the other ones cause it’s even harder for me to see them as yanderes than it is for Mingi.

Jung Yunho seems like a normal college student. He plays video games and procrastinates his homework, has trouble remembering to pay his rent on time and probably wouldn’t be able to pay it if it wasn’t for Hongjoong and Seonghwa, once set the stove on fire trying to make ramen, and has an emotional breakdown whenever he sees a puppy or a baby.

Anyone you asked would say that Yunho is the most lovable, gentle, caring boy they had ever met. He just needs to be a little more confident in himself.

They don’t know the half of it.

If there’s one person in the world that Yunho hates, it’s himself. He is incredibly suicidal and self-harming, it’s a testament to his good acting that people don’t know how much he needs a therapist or something.

You meet puppy-boy when you move into the apartment next to his, the last one on the hall.

He’s coming home from getting a few groceries when he sees you moving your stuff in. He’s in his senior year of college, one semester away from a degree, though you’re just a junior, a transfer student who is more than nervous about switching unis so late into your college career.

Yunho is your first friend. From the minute he saw you, he was hooked, it was like he met an angel. You were so nice to him and you genuinely cared about him. Not only that, but you seemed to actually need him around.

Yunho was used to being a burden, someone others coddled and took care of, so it was refreshing when you asked him to help you study or show you around or carry heavy things up the stairs or reach things on the top shelf. He was quickly becoming wrapped around your thumb, he lived for taking care of you. It gave him purpose.

In real life, Ateez has stated before how Yunho likes to care of those around them and brighten their day, make them laugh, make them happy and all that. This would be Yandere!Yunho’s defining characteristic along with his suicidal tendencies.

It’s hard not to develop a crush on Yunho and eventually, you ask him out. And even though he loves you more than life itself, he hesitates.

He feels like he has to tell you about the way he feels about life and the things he does to himself before he can feel secure in a romantic relationship with you.

When you still want to date him, he’s genuinely stunned. That’s when his obsession really begins. He’s found someone that he can take care of but that also wants to take care of and help him and won’t leave him? He thinks he would be stupid to ever let go of that.

Most of the Ateez yanderes have a unique quality about them I’m making them sound like limited edition Pokemon. Hongjoong’s is his delayed affection, Seonghwa’s is his coldness, Mingi’s is his fiery persona, San’s is his duality, and Yunho’s is the fact that he would never ever be a danger to you or others.

He punishes you by punishing himself.

While I do think that Yunho would be the most objectively easy Ateez yandere to escape from, I do think that it would be the hardest to leave him mentally.

You have an attachment to him, you love him, and you can tell he loves you too. But he’s still unbelievably toxic and exhausting.

Yunho will start shirking off responsibilities for you very quickly, flaking out on friends and school and work, just to be at your beck and call and bend over backward for you.

To a certain extent, he expects you to do the same. When you're spending more time with friends or family or work or homework, Yunho’s going to get upset and he’s going to think that he’s doing something wrong and you’re starting to lose feelings. He’s going to punish himself for that and it’s not going to be pretty.

You might not catch on to his habit at first and he doesn’t want you to feel guilty so he’s going to make an effort to hide it from you, but you’ll find out eventually.

It starts taking over your life. You see friends less, forget about responsibilities, and even have trouble sleeping because you’re so worried about him. And because you’re spending even more time with him, the time-frame that you have to spend by yourself becomes smaller and smaller cause he’s so used to having you around.

Even if you bring him with you, he’ll overthink everything. He’ll remember how good-looking your friends are, how much he doesn’t fit your parent's standards, how he couldn’t help you with a certain problem on your homework and he’ll punish himself for it all the minute he’s alone. No matter how much time passes, he’ll always keep these things in his mind and waste no time hurting himself for them.

It makes you not only terrified to leave, but also hyperaware of everything that’s happening when you two are out in public, always ready to give him reassurance. It’s terrifying and exhausting and one day, you bring up the idea of breaking up.

Yunho takes it well, much better than you think he would. He says that he understands and that, even though he loves you, he hopes you find someone to make you happy and give you what you deserve.

But you have a bad feeling in your stomach and it’s only a few hours later, that you’re bursting into his apartment, screaming his name.

There’s no answer and the lights are all off and the adrenaline is pumping through your body so fast, you feel like you might start imploding.

Yunho’s in the bathroom and...it’s not a pretty sight.

His stint in the hospital would have been short if it weren’t for the fact that he needed so many stitches and blood transfusions.

He’s there long enough to get better physically, but his eyes are glassy and he doesn’t talk or move, not even with you. The doctors say it's not anything physical, nothing they can find, and they let you take him home when he’s strong enough because maybe the hospital is making it worse.

He still doesn’t do anything. He’ll use the bathroom if you sit him on the toilet, he’ll chew and swallow if you put food in his mouth, he’ll drink if you put a straw to his lips, but that’s about all you’re going to get out of him.

A week after he gets out of the hospital, you come home and Yunho’s...gone. You left him on the couch, but he’s not there anymore.

You drop everything in your hands and you’re about to fear the worse until he runs out of the kitchen, asking what the noise was and if you were ok. He’s in different clothes than you left him in and the smell of take-out fills the air. How long has he been like this?

You and Yunho eat pizza and he’s so busy chattering that he doesn’t notice that you’re too stunned and scared to touch most of your food, watching him carefully.

He’s acting completely normal, like he was when you first became friends.

You wonder if he even remembers the past couple weeks or if he’s putting on a ruse so he can try and kill himself again when you leave him alone. You’re almost too scared to bring it up in case it sets him off.

Eventually, you settle on, “Yunho, I want to get back together, I’m sorry for what I said.”

Yunho gives you a strange look.

“When did we break up?”

Yeosang

The Secret Serial Killer

Kang Yeosang is very misleading. He tends to wear a lot of dark clothes and has a resting bitch face and he’s very shy though it comes off as being aloof and arrogant. That’s not what he earned his bad-boy reputation for though, even if those things do help to reinforce it.

Yeosang earned that reputation through the only fight he’s even been in on campus. It’s unsure how the fight started or what happened, but by the time it finished, everyone was crowded around to see Yeosang pulverize the other guy.

He broke five ribs which punctured a lung, took a chunk of the guy’s left ear, knocked out several teeth, and completely shattered both kneecaps and his left ankle, effectively ending the guy’s promising athletic career and making him need walking assistance for the rest of his life.

Mingi and Jongho were the only witnesses to the start of the fight and they claim the other guy started it. Most people believe them, just because Mingi isn’t known for lying since he knows people are so scared of him that he doesn't really have to. Also, Yeosang had a decent amount of injuries too. A broken arm, swollen lip, black eye, and fractured rip substantiated what Mingi and Jonho claimed. But, if anything, that made Yeosang even scarier. The arm that was broken was the one he’d used to beat the guy up, how could he be capable of such things when he was so hurt?

No one ever tried to bother Yeosang after that and he never got in another fight which made people think that the guy really did start it, even if Yeosang was still scary.

Yeosang enjoys skateboarding, video games, and flying his drones and it’s while he’s in the park doing the latter that he first spots you walking your pet.

Yeosang stalks you from that moment onward.

He won’t be like Yunho and blow off all his responsibilities to be near you, but he will use all of his free time and carve out a little extra where he can to follow you. Since I’m not a stalker and I have a short ass attention span, so I can’t for the life of me begin to explain why it brings him so much genuine enjoyment to just do nothing but watch you for hours at a time but it does.

He’ll spend about a year watching you and learning every single thing he can about you before he comes into your life like your very own Prince Charming on a white skateboard. You’ll fall for him hard and fast. He’s kind, caring, understanding, and seems to just instantly know you better than you know yourself.

He’s just as clingy as Mingi, and he’s more lenient with you, but it’s more because he puts you on this high pedestal that the rest of humanity is nowhere near. He and Jongho are similar in that they think their S/O is a god/dess that can do no wrong.

It’s always someone else’s fault, never yours.

Yeosang will take you on cute dates and teach you to skateboard and play video games and let you win cause he’s whipped. You’re in love and you think everything’s going perfect.

Because Yeosang’s yandere trademark is that he will be the only one who will make an effort to hide what he is from you.

He is sneaky and you’ll probably never know how sick and fucked up he is.

Yandere!Yeosang likes killing. He likes making someone pay when he thinks they’ve wronged you or your relationship. It gives him a rush of adrenaline and power that nothing can compare to. He’ll purposefully go out and show you off on dates, just to have an excuse to murder everyone he thinks is looking at you longer than necessary.

He’ll get away with it too. He’s friends with Seonghwa, who makes all his seven friend’s problems magically disappear.

Yandere!Yeosang may seem better than the others, because he never displays his toxicity toward you but he might actually be one of the worse ones because he’s a complete serial killer.

“Thank you for being by my side, baby. You’re the only one that’s ever made me feel this way.”

San

The Jekyll and Hyde

Alright, I’m soft as fuck for this adorable sweetheart, it’s gonna take all I got to write him like this.

OK, so firstly.

Choi San is the most two-faced ass bitch you’ve ever met in your life. I mean, seriously. San’s duality is already scary but Yandere San would be on another level, his yandere side came completely out of left field.

San’s first side, the side that you will see for the first few months of your relationship, is his sweet, bubbly, cute side. Both sides of San are hyper and energetic, but this side is also caring and sweet and kind. He’s funny and loves playing games and making people laugh. He’s a social butterfly and has tons of friends and he’s really sensitive and easy to start crying. He’s almost like a child.

Ironically, he also likes reading and watching mukbang videos in silence.

Then there’s his other side. In your head, you refer to him as Other San, because he’s just so different from the regular one. San doesn’t have dissociative identity disorder. Other San isn’t a different personality, and no matter whether he’s being San or Other San, he knows everything he’s done and there are no gaps in his memory.

At one point, you even asked him if he’d ever played around with Ouija Boards or anything demonic and took him to a priest to make sure.

Demonic possession made even more sense than his extreme ass mood swings.

Other San is seductive, hot-headed, sultry, and aggressive. His movements are jerkier and his voice is raspier and the cadence and flow of his speech even changes. But he’s not a different personality and that’s what’s so scary.

San as a whole is very temperamental and emotionally unstable. You’ll be constantly walking on eggshells around him. He can change from San to Other San in the blink of an eye, with literally no warning. Sometimes, he’ll change to Other San for only a few seconds before going back to normal.

Though he almost always turns into Other San when he’s mad, he’ll turn into Other San at completely random times as well.

You CANNOT treat Other San like you do Regular San. He doesn’t want to be babied when he’s in that mode and he will make that very clear.

Regular San is unbearably clingy. He’ll follow you wherever you go and he’ll cry if you don’t give him enough attention.

Other San is down for physically punishing you when you displease him and there are no set rules as to what you should do to keep him happy. With Other San, you can do something that he’s totally fine with and then ten minutes later, you’ll do the exact same thing in the exact same way and he’ll get pissed at you for it.

Like Yandere!Yeosang, both Regular and Other San enjoy killing people. But unlike Yeosang, Yandere!San was a serial killer long before you came into the picture.

“Y/N, why were you talking to him? I told you I don’t like him! Why do you like hurting me?” San sobbed before his body froze. You gulped, your hands, which were previously trying to comfort him, were now pulled away. San wiped the tears from his face before he looked at you, eyes dark and voice rough as he said, “That’s ok, baby. I like hurting you too.”

Mingi

The Clingy Bad Boy

Song Mingi is one of the toughest cases for me. It’s very very hard for me to see him as a yandere at all. Like period. He’s so chill all the time, and I think this would translate to Yandere!Mingi.

He would largely let you do what you want. Go to school, go to work, have friends, etc. The catch? He has to be by your side at all times. Mingi is the resident bad boy at your university. He goes to class because he pays for it, but he smokes, drinks, wears leather jackets, gets into fights, and is generally an asshole. Unlike Yeosang, he’s not quiet at all. He’s loud, fiery, opinionated, aggressive, and hostile. Mingi just seems to have always been filled with this destructive inferno of unquenchable fury at the world for even daring to bring him into existence. His friends made him calm down a little, enjoy life a little more but it’s not the same.

It’s not the same as when he met you.

Yandere!Mingi seems like the type to go for a soft, sweet S/O and when he saw you, he was hooked. Your softness makes him have a little compassion for the world, a little hope that it’s not so bad after all. He knew he was bad, a dark influence on you, but he didn’t care in the slightest. He didn’t want you to be tainted by anyone but him.

Mingi feeds off of your innocence and happiness, which is why he lets you do what you want for the most part. He just doesn’t tolerate anyone looking at you in a less than friendly way. He doesn’t kill, he’s not like Yeosang. He doesn’t have to. He’s not opposed to it, but he would much rather beat your suitors within an inch of their lives and be able to forever take pride in the terror that appears on their faces whenever they see you two again.

Even though he’s lenient about friends, it doesn’t really matter. Mingi creeps your friends the fuck out.

He’s always glued to your side and even though he doesn’t stop you from interacting with them or call for your attention, he just sits there and glares. They’ve never even heard him talk unless it’s to you or his friends.

Because Mingi considers himself to give you so much freedom, he will get all the more upset if you do something that he thinks is out of bounds in your relationship. He thinks it’s disrespectful that he “gives” you so much and you repay him by doing things you know he hates. Mingi’s punishments are going to revolve around sex and humiliation. He’s a hormonal ass teenager and something about seeing his sweet innocent S/O being humiliated by him makes him go feral. I can almost guarantee that you won’t be enjoying these punishments, cause not only would they be physically painful, his degradation would be things that he knows are going to hit you hard emotionally. The number one thing you can do to piss him off and get punished is leaving him by himself. He pretty much doesn’t give a damn what you do as long as you’re together and he doesn’t give a fuck how suffocating his presence is, that’s not more important to him than his need for you.

Mingi needs to be in your presence at all times, it keeps him sane. He thinks you’re like the fire extinguisher to that blazing sun that burns inside his sick mind. You once went away on a school trip for two days and you came back to the entire apartment trashed, stuff was thrown all over the floors, holes in the walls, scratches on the hardwood floors. Mingi didn’t say anything, just stalked over to you silently, knuckles dripping with blood and eyes feral, body trembling with rage. It was the first time that the realization of how big he was, how strong he was, absolutely terrified you. Even his voice, usually loud and boisterous was monotoned and dead, a stark contrast to his murderous eyes.

“Don’t leave me again.”

It’s not a request.

Wooyoung

The Incubus

Jung Wooyoung is a demon.

I’m not kidding, Yandere!Wooyoung is a literal demon. An incubus, to be exact.

Even though Yandere!San and Yeosang are literal serial killers and Yandere!Hongjoong’s a spouse-beating jackass, I just KNOW Wooyoung’s gonna be the one that pisses y’all off the most.

Because Wooyoung cheats. He will literally fuck like three people a day, and no matter how he feels about you or how close you two get, that will never change. He won’t feel bad or guilty for it either. He’ll enjoy each and every fuck and you’re nowhere on his mind when he screams out the other person’s name and finds his release in them.

Wooyoung doesn’t see what his feelings have to do with his sex life and he thinks that you, a lowly human, should be grateful he has any interest in you in the first place.

Since Wooyoung is a supernatural being, he could theoretically just kidnap you and be done with it, but that’s not fun for him.

He plagues your dreams for weeks before he starts showing up in real life. Sometimes, he’ll make sure that only you see him, so people will think you’ve lost it and it can ruin your credibility when you start screaming at him. Sometimes he’ll appear to you in the disguise of other horrific-looking demons so that you think he’s not so bad after all.

He wants to be the only one you can turn to. Him being a demon and all, I don’t see you standing a chance really.

It’ll be easy for him to get inside your head and make you trust and love him, completely willing to ignore how cruel he is to you.

Wooyoung likes for you to be the one chasing him. That’ll be his favorite part of this whole thing. Once he’s broken you, his favorite punishments will be to either ignore you or to make you watch while he fucks someone else and then prove you can please him better afterward.

Yandere!Wooyoung will probably kill people too, now that I think about it. He’d use it as a tool to make you submit to him more and it’s foolproof because he’s a demon. You can’t tell the police and he could easily fabricate evidence that points to you being the killer.

Like I said, since he’s a demon, you don’t have a chance in hell, excuse the pun.

“Always remember, love, you’re only alive because I want you to be. So you better be good for me, hmm?”

Jongho

The Overprotective Guard Dog

Jongho is gonna be absolutely devoted to you. Seriously, if people didn’t know any better, they’d think he was your bodyguard or your servant or something.

Whether you’re older or younger doesn’t matter, he sees you as a divine being and his purpose is to protect and worship you. He thinks other people are disgusting for not seeing how perfect and ethereal you are.

And that means they don’t deserve to live.

I picture Jongho as being exactly like Yuno Gasai from Mirai Nikki. Anyone who’s watched that anime or knows yandere knows that she is the Yandere Queen and the epitome of the whole trope.

For a large part, you and Jongho would be a normal couple. You might go to different classes and work but you always meet up for meals and come home to your shared apartment at the end of the day. He makes you laugh and he’s doting and sweet.

It’s not yourself or him that he has to worry about. It’s other people.

Jongho takes it upon himself to kill, hurt, maim, or terrorize anyone who hurts you. This could be in the form of people who actually physically hurt you, people who bully or disrespect you, or just people who look at you wrong.

If the person is of better use to you alive, then he’ll just hurt or scare them. If not then they’re dead meat.

Jongho doesn’t really enjoy killing, he actually finds it gross, but he won’t think twice about doing it when it comes to you.

Jongho is the only yandere that wouldn’t mind not being your lover. He would prefer to be, but he just wants the honor of being near you, making you happy, and protecting you, in whatever role he can.

Your happiness is the most important to him and if someone else makes you happy then you will have them. Even if they don’t like you back, Jongho will force them to be with you so that you can be happy and they better not ever say anything about his involvement.

He’d be your best friend and really good at acting normal so you probably wouldn’t believe them anyway.

“Your smile is gorgeous, Y/N. I’ll do anything to see it.”

The Asteroid Belt

#yandere #yandere ateez #yandere kpop #yandere hongjoong #yandere seonghwa #yandere yunho #yandere yeosang #yandere san #yandere mingi #yandere wooyoung #yandere jongho #yandere headcanons #asteroid belt

690 notes · View notes