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nananamunsons · 1 year

Text

Bills to pay.

Summary: When you carry with the pain that actions you always knew they were wrong left inside of you.

pairing: Eddie Munson & Fem!reader.

words: 5783 ;(^__^)

CW: Mentions of smoking, Mechanic!Eddie, mentions of depression, anxiety, doubting yourself, teenagep pregnancy, unwanted pregnancy, young single mother mentions, reader is (very) forgiving, crying.

Notes: I was really wondering if i should start posting the things i write to myself and one singular friend lolol, so this is really just a test on how to post in tumblr ahaha

Chapter 1: Unattended and untouched.

Eddie covers with one hand the cigarrete that was sustained on his lips, hoping the winter cold will allow him to turn it on.

It was normal for him to wait outside the cafè for his black coffee on his breaks, the workers there already assumed he was gonna be a regular to do that behavior so he will stay on the door after ordering until a sweet girl hands him the cup from inside the shop.

Winters made him depressed, he was totally honest with himself about it as well, the white skies, white floors, cold air and humidity on his hair, it was too much for him to handle, for him to be okay with. Winters also felt nostalgic, in a way that left his walking back at work such a bother, leaving him alone with his loud thoughts.

throwing half done bud to the snow, he was welcomed back by the warmth of the repair shop, listening to the commercial music that his boss made him play for the clients in the waiting room.

“Munson, you’re back so soon?” a coworker of him asks behind him as Eddie takes off his jacket. “It is hell outside right?”

“I don’t get how we still get clients, man.” he chuckles, grabbing his cup again to finally take a sip. “What do we have today?”

“We are almost done for the day really, just the old truck again… The old man refuses to let it go but it just means more money for us, right?”

Eddie shook his head, he hated how much the company robbed that man but again, he was stubborn as hell so there was not much to convince him about. “What is it this time?”

the coworker puts his hands on his hips “I’m not even sure at this point, dude… Could be all at once if you ask me.”

“I’ll handle it… What about tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow… Elise, did we get any calls for tomorrow?”

the two guys turn to see the receptionist on Eddie’s left, a small blonde who in Eddie’s head she just ‘was too much, another tammy thompson on his life’ The woman checks her notes for a solid minute “There’s…” she dances the words around the air with her southern accent. “We have an Oxygen Sensor replacement without an assigned worker for tomorrow, client said it was urgent.”

“I’ll take it.” Eddie spat before the other man took it, such an easy job was commonly fighted around, easy money. “At what hour should the client be here?”

“Night shift.”

“That’s fine then, you can count me on nightshift for the rest of the week, Elise.”

The woman rolls her eyes in annoyance “Our hero.”

Drinking his full cup of coffee in one sit, he throws the cup on the trashcan before comforting the old man with his old and barely alive truck, knowing that after that, he will be allowed to go home.

Eddie was living fine on his own, after getting his own trailer next to Wayne’s he did his best to mantain himself up, getting the shifts that will pay him more, doing his own grocery shopping, cooking… He wanted to prove to Wayne he can be by himself, something that (not so) surprisingly Wayne doubted about him. Of course living on his own means getting back home to an empty bed, empty kitchen, empty livingroom. He could get pretty lonely some days, some others it will be him and his thoughts and regretful actions from the past that kept him awake at night. But other than that, Eddie felt okay living by himself.

That shift got him army crawling his way home, even his arms felt heavy as he drove his sweetheart back to the trailer park, he walks his way to the porch to see several bills discarted on his floor, from his rent to medical bills Wayne could not longer take care of amd just a bunch of another bullshit. He sighs looking at each one before tossing them on the table, taking his boots off and the hairtie that was almost tangled to death on his curls.

“For fucks sake.” He groans, pulling out several hairs out of his head with the baby blue tie. “This is fucking stupid.”

There are knocks in his door that interrupts his cursing to himself, he knew it was Wayne that he didn’t even bothered to walk through the door when the old man walks inside. “Hey Uncle Wayne.”

“You had dinner?” the old man puts a tupperware on the same table with the bills.

the younger chuckles “no, i just got home… What is it?”

“Don’t ask, just eat it boy.”

The men had dinner together, in silence, it has been years that there was no words to share, it was just awkward now, it was not like they outgrew eachother, Wayne still loved his son but he also knew he has done stuff that does not agree with his lifestyle, Wayne can’t even hide it the longer the time passes without Eddie fixin’ what he broke.

the metalhead wanted to deny that he was hurt by the coldness of his uncle, but he was, his chest ached everytime he sees the man avoiding eye contact or when he clearly wants to say something but keeps it to himself. Eddie regrets a lot of stuff, he for sure regrets letting his relationship with Wayne walk in a thing thread, knowing that one day, maybe today, tomorrow or in years but one day, the older will leave him on his own.

When Wayne leaves the trailer, Eddie finally takes in the deepest breath has ever took today, his palms rubbing against his tired face, taking a good feel to his hard leather skin and big eyebags. He wishes life was different, he didn’t liked how he grew, the person he has become and how easy was for him to mask everything to others.

Eddie was supposed to be the other way around, always unafraid to show who he was, not comforming to be what others wanted him to be, not hiding or running away and sadly he cannot ask himself what went wrong because he knew exactly what he did to deserve everything he has right now.

He deserves his own voice echoes around the trailer that lacked that spark that made it a ‘home’ for him. He deserves waking up cold in an empty bed, by the sound of his alarm, he deserves realizing he ran out of shampoo because he forgot to write it on his list last sunday.

He deserves every little thing that went wrong.

And you deserve the world. You with the brightest smile and the soft touch, You with warmth and love that you had to offer. You with those fat tears in your eyes the last time he saw you. His heart ached to only remember, because he did, every single time he closed his eyes he could see the tears and the redness of your face.

He deserves nothing and you deserve everything, wherever you are, he hopes you are in a better place than he was.

His dreams were always filled with you that sometimes felt like nightmares, a sick trick his brain played to remind him how much of a fucking idiot he was, coordinating with his heart to bring him the worst life possible just because he let you go. He let you go with the stupidest excuse ever and now he cannot see the end of it.

But at the next morning he knew that everything was done, you probably didn’t even wanted his help and to be fair he doesn’t really know how to help so he begins his own routine all over again.

Shower, blow dry his hair like you said he needed to, breakfast and usually work. But today he doesn’t have work until late at night, he had at least 8 hours to spare.

8 hours of him basically drowning himself in the emptyness of his home.

Shit.

“Shit indeed.” he answers to his own head in a sigh. “Maybe i should do my groceries early, what do you think jr.?” he asks to the panda bear sitting on his sofa. How ironic to call Jr. to a panda you gave to him years ago, it’s like even himself LOVES to annoy himself.

“Yeah, maybe i should.” he rolls his eyes to grab his keys, ignoring the letters that still sat on the table, putting his snow boots on amd the long black jacket, aware of the coldest morning ever was right behind his front door. He knows he shouldn’t drive in snow, Eddie has been warned thousands times that his wreckless driving in the iced streets could cause death amd for some reason that never made him afraid. Not when his mom warned him, not when Wayne did and probably not when you did. Well that was a lie. Back then he did worried to get into an accident, leaving you alone in the cruel highschool world.

Something that was the same level of ironic as Jr. who sat on his sofa.

But you were away now, he doesn’t have to worry for something that already happened years ago.

It tormented him the rest of those 8 hours he waited for to start, the shortest shift even. At 6PM he arrived to the shop, hanging his keys on the reception and taking off his jacket. “Hello, Elise.” he teases the woman.

“Munson.” She responds dry as always. “Your client just arrived 5 minutes ago and it’s waiting on the children cubicle.”

“What, am i fixing a toy car?”

“You are such a comedy genius, Edward.” She rolls her eyes “Hurry up before i even regret putting you to this shift.”

“Have a good night, Elise.” The man winks at the woman who was already bagging everything she owns for the end of her own shift and turns his back at ger, sighing as loud as he could and walking to the kid’s cubicle, a cublicle that was only recently added in suggestion of his coworker Mark who has toddler to take care of, he knows where is at but doesn’t really pass through it, he hasn’t heard of clients using it until tonight. “Excuse me m’am, do you have the keys to your car so i can start with the–“

Tension grows when he opens the door to the cubicle, both heads snap to see him standing there and the woman who was in her knees in front of a baby groans. “Fucking great.”

Eddie tries to process how was it even possible to see you in his own workspace, how was possible that you didn’t aged a single bit but he probably looked like two truck ran over him. He watched you stand up from your knees and he realized that he was not breathing at all. “You’re… The mechanic here, of course you are.”

“I’m sorry… Yeah i just–“

“It’s fine, listen is just a check up… it should be an easy job, after that i can go again.”

his hands reached for the keys that you dangled close to his face and he cursed that he even followed your actions, his heart swells by the sight of you and your cold face. “I’ll work right up, feel comfortable and– yeah…”

You simply nod at him, even the dryness of your nod made him want to just dig a hole and jump straight down to it. So he turns half a circle and leaves to where your car was and he jumped right on the driver seat, taking a deep breath at the smell of that sick, disgusting cherry perfume women always chose for their cars, somehow you weren’t the exception to his personal rule this time.

He wonders more about you, what is your job, where do you live, how do you live? why are you here? It was like his switch detected something that made him remember every single thing about you and it was like you never left. But you did, the picture behind your steering wheel made him clear that you did left. The baby seat on the backseat, the toys in the passenger seat, the backpack next to the toys.

You left, you kept the kid amd you had your life away from him and it was clearly something that hurts him. Because back then he swore he will never regret the choice he made.

And he did.

He regrets screaming at you, making you cry, not answering your calls, disappearing when you needed him the most. He knocked you up and ghosted the shit out of you that same year, being so scared, furious and confused. How was he supposed to explain that to Wayne? how was he supposed to explain that he got his sweetheart pregnant at the young age of 19 when he was about to turn 21 and still sold Rick’s cheap stuff that barely made enough for the two of them on weekends? It wasn’t like he didn’t wanted a kid, he wasn’t sure at the moment but he was completely sure that it was not something he wanted at that moment.

So he told you exactly how he felt.

He remembers the exact words that made your heart take a leap from a bridge, how could he not? he remember regretting them as soon as they left his mouth but he also was too much of a hubristic to even allow him to take it back.

“Hey.” an echoe interrupted him. “Where’s the bathroom to this place?”

“What?”

“Bathroom.” You repeat. “Esther really needs to go.” to Eddie it looks like you hugged yourself but processing the unknown name he could just assume you totally meant the 5 year old behind you.

“Oh!” he reacts, getting out of your car. “Well– the actual bathrooms are not– not childproof so i’ll let you use the office’s place instead, follow me.”

“How can a bathroom be childproof?” you follow his steps, confused at his behavior. “And why is the office’s bathroom is childproof and the clients one not?”

“Because clients don’t take their kids to the repair shop.” he grabs the keys from the wall. “But a coworker does take care of his kids here every 2 weeks, you’ll be amazed how determined he is to childpoorf everything in this office.”

“Oh yeah, i can– yeah it shows.”

Eddie turns for a second to look at the five years old next to you and his sweat ran cold again.

If only.

If only the kid wasn’t an exact copy of his mother he could go on with life and pretend it isn’t his. But she looks just like a Munson. Too much for his liking.

“Listen, just flicker the switch twice before turning it on, we are mechanics not electricians so there’s some issues around the place but… Its way better than the one outside, you know how social levels work.”

“Right.”

“Sure.” he sighs. “I’ll go and check your car, anything else just tell me.”

Another dry nod from you and he consider himself dead, it was more the embarrassment than anything at all, being only the three of you in the building shouldn’t be an issue, he was distracted with the car anyways. He had to be honest, it was a shit ton of work what he had in his hands, the car was just like he expects a woman that doesn’t know anything about cars to be like and it was more work than what any of them expected, whoever tested the vehicle did not found all the issues.

“Great.” He mutters to himself before turning on the car lift and walk his way back to the kids cubicle and knocks three times before opening the door. “Would you mind following me for a bit?”

“Safe to leave her alone?”

He looks around the place and behind him before shaking his head. No he does not trust a kid away from her mother in such a place, he could not see the light of day if the kid scrapped her knee or something worse. “Is just about the diagnosis of the car… She won’t get dirty or anything.”

“Fine.” You whisper, following his steps with the kid in hand.

“So– You remember who did your initial diagnosis? any name or… appearance?”

“Yes!” you straighten your back “His name was… Richard, i believe.”

“Of course.” his head falls backwards. “So, there’s more than just the replacement they told you about… You need an oil change and just a bunch other stuff to fix, all quick fixes but all of them together may take us… 5 days? at max, it all depends on how well your car behaves.”

“What? Eddie i need this car for Nancy’s wedding this friday.”

“I’m working as fast as i could, sweetheart.” He groans, looking up to the car. “I’m sorry to ruin any plans but– it’s that or a car accident on the way.”

“Is there really not option then?”

The man turns to press the button on the lift, bringing the car down to the ground “The only option is to slave me away and work in this car without breaks and you’re not the only one going to Nance’s wedding.”

You laugh to yourself. “You owe me such thing but i guess not.”

“Good call.”

“Man so i don’t have a car for the rest of the week?”

“I’m afraid so, sweetheart.”

He felt guilty by calling you such name, he feel like you would cuzz him out if he kept going but you didn’t. You let him call you like that, Eddie can’t figure it out why.

You called him by his name why can’t he bring the same emergy to you? even when he wanted, he tried to… But only ‘sweetheart’ came out of his mouth. “Well, i should keep working on this one, but if you want a ride home just tell me, no issues.”

You wanted to deny the offer, you really did but yout yawning 5 y/o was begging to be somewhere except an old leather sofa right now. “Can i take the baby seat to your van first?”

“Feel free.” he says, reaching for his keys. “Not changing the music tho.”

“Of course you’re not.” You laugh like it was something natural. Like you laughed all the time in front of him, like anything ever happened.

And as much as he hates to repeat everything, it’s pain. Pain like he never felt before, not even when you left, not even when he heard from Nancy that your kid was having complications when she was born, not even when he heard nothing else from that.

the pain came from the fact that you’re back, you’re here in front of him and you look happier than ever.

Healthy, well put together and emotionally there for everyone and he is not, he is a mess. He can’t even see his uncle in the eyes because it hurts too much to be reminded that the moment he left you was the moment his uncle was first disappointed in him.

“Done.” You simply say. “Should we go?”

Eddie nods, turning off the lights of the place and closing all doors. He could deal with the car tomorrow if he wants to, today was enough of a burden for him to keep going in that cold place all night, so as soon as he turns to see you inside his van, he locka the place.

“Where to.” He asks, turning on his van. “Can do several trips if you need, i’m a personal taxi today.”

“Wayne changed his shift right?”

“3 years ago, yeah.” he starts to exit the place.

You humm at first “Maybe i should visit him before going back to the apartment, is it a problem?”

“What? no, it’s fine uh– the old man and i live in different places now so you can visit him at any point you want now, feel free… We don’t– we are not that close anymore.”

“Really? What changed?”

You, is what he wanted to say, he wanted to tell you so bad how much his life went downhill since he said those things to you. But you didn’t deserved that, you don’t deserve to carry the guilt of his life, he did. After all he was the one that chose to run away.

“Oh you know…” he whinces, was he gonna lie to you? “I uhh–“

“I get it.” you interrupt him.

“Yeah.” Eddie sighs. “Listen… I think it comes without a say that– Sweetheart, i’m sorry i did this to you.”

“You don’t.” You could only laugh, rolling your eyes to look at the wet and dark street

“I do… I shouldn’t have said those things, i shouldn’t have leave you and work with this on your own.”

“You shouldn’t but you did.” Those words echoes more than he wanted, it bounced in his head for seconds and will probably haunt them all night. “If you know you shouldn’t why you did it?”

Eddie turns left to enter Forest Hills, he didn’t had the courage to face you or answer right now, he couldn’t admit how much of a fuck up he is and will be.

And when he parks in front of Wayne’s he sighs, knowing the man will come out any minute now to tell him to park in front of his trailer. So as soon as the old man opens the door he raises his hands up in the air. “Someone wanted to see you, okay? i’ll move in a minute.” he declared and you get out of the van, like it was a signal he asked you, an entrance.

The old man’s eyes softened at the sight of you, oh how he missed to see your face full of youth and happiness. “Hi, Wayne…” you whisper, walking closer to Eddie instead. “Hey i– Esther fell asleep in the chair and…”

“Oh! yeah i’ll– should i let her sleep at my place? is this one right next to Wayne’s”

“Oh don’t worry i just–“

“Let him.” Wayne interrupts. “Is the least he could do.”

Eddie shrunk in his place by the coldness of Wayne’s voice, you could see the shine in your eyes disappearing when the man looked at him and like a robot he turns towards the van from your seat, unbuckling your kid and lift her up without a struggle. “I’ll just take her. don’t worry.” he looks at you with a tired face and walks to his trailer.

Eddie felt knifes punching his guts with every step he took, feeling the heavy figure in his arms made it even more harder. He tried to ignore that she was right next to you in every move, even when she had the most prettiest doe eyes he has ever seen, even when she looks like those pictures Wayne had of his childhood where his mother smiled wide at the camera… He tried so hard to ignore the fact that you named her Esther like his mother even when you knew she will never know about that.

He carefully placed her on the black satin sheets and took an actual look at the toddler.

She also had features that resembled you so well. Your nose was clearly there, his freckles, your long eyelashes… It pained him so much to see how she was a perfect mixture of both of you.

When he gets out of the room, leaving her there, he knew you were there, he felt you follow from behind. “I was scared.” he said, looking down at his feet. “i was scared that my best wasn’t good enough for one, how could it be enough for two? it scared me that i would do more damage to the kid than i will do them good, i was so scared to be like my dad and just– just fuck up everything and it turns out i was right, see? i fuck everything up.”

“Eddie…”

“I thought about you, when i graduated, when i gave up corroded coffin, when i started working in that place… I thought of you when Nance told Robin that the kid was still in the NICU, i somehow wanted to blame me for everything and i should, because i left you and you struggled… i heard what happened with your mom and that you left hawkins and i just– i’m so sorry, sweetheart.”

You sigh, looking at nothing and everything at once, you heard every single word that came out of his mouth and you waited until he was done for you to speak “she had a resuscitation in the delivery room.” you started heavy. “She wasn’t breathing well because she was too small for her gestational age, that happens a lot of times for babies, it has nothing to do wit you.” you explain. “My mother? yeah she did kicked me out of the house but– that was way before the whole– the whole pregnant issue. That was on me, it was because of you but it was my choice… My choice to date you, right?”

He didn’t said a word.

“It is a lot, i did struggle, i thought about not having her but also– even when you didn’t said a thing, when you left, when you screamed at me… i knew it was correct for me to have her… I was going to do this with or without you, Eddie…”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know you are.”

Eddie then looks your way, with regret he looks in your eyes that started filling with tears at same time as him. Neither of you thought this moment was gonna happen, it didn’t felt real. And Eddie regretted everything, he regretted to ever break your heart.

“She doesn’t have to be yours if you don’t want to, i more than everything know how hard is to carry with a kid… But i do have one question.”

Eddie nods slightly.

“If the circumstances were different– if we weren’t as young as we were… you wouldn’t leave?”

Eddie thinks for a minute, part of him think he will always be scared to ruin a life like his father did but that was also the part that kept him from not running, he doesn’t trust that part of him one bit. “I wouldn’t.” he answers.

He was honest, if the circumstances were different he would have adored you, the kid, he would have been the same eddie he was in highschool, the one that pampered you with kissed and hugs around the halls and took you to dates ever single sunday. “Then what stops you now?”

“I’m afraid i’m too late.” he admits again. “That no matter what i do… i would never forgive myself for what i did to you.”

“You don’t know that, Eddie.”

“There are thing we can’t fix anymore, sweetheart… I’m afraid to admit that what we had before is ome of those things… I promised you the moon but i will never reach those expectations for you, i failed you once, you shouldn’t trust that i will not do it again.”

His truth was loud, just like the silence that came after that, Eddie looks at his table instead, looking at the bills that were left unattended and untouched. The envelopes were still closed, waiting for him to open and be paid, to assume his responsibilities once more. ironic.

“I can’t forget about you, sweetheart.” he adds. “You were my everything… if i did that to you, how am i deserved of a second chance?”

“You don’t get to tell me who to give a second chance to, man.” You whine. “The fact that i saw you after years of trying to avoid you makes me feel like– like we have stuff to finish together… Don’t let her be another Munson with a shitty dad, be there for her, make her have what you didn’t.”

“You say that but–“

“We don’t have to be together for you to be her dad if you don’t want to, you don’t have to love me or even stand me… But i want her to be happy.”

Eddie then breaks, he sobs under his hands, he never noticed when but those rubbed his face with his salty tears. “But i do.”

“Eddie.”

“I still love you, princess… I didn’t knew i was until i saw you again, i don’t want to love you the way i do but how can i not? you still wear your heart on your sleeve even to white trash like me, makes me wish that you hated me, why can’t you hate me?” he cries, his breath became unsteady as you approached even more to him, trying to hold his hands but getting a hold of his wrist, your touch made him feel weak on his knees.

“I hate you.” You whisper, burrying youself in his arms. “I hate your stupid big brown eyes, i hate your fucking long hair and your big shoulders.” he keeps crying, but his arms moved to hug you, his face now hidding itself in your hair. “I hated you when you left me… If it makes you feel better, i also hate how right you are, we cannot fix us anymore.”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart.”

“Don’t be.” your hand rubs his back. “Come on, big man, you’re gonna make me cry too.” you only chuckle to avoid the tears. “Fuck you know i hate to see you cry.”

Eddie kept muttering sorry’s in your neck as he kept crying and they started to feel like he had them saved for you, for this specific moment of his life.

“Look at us… we grow up too fast didn’t we?” You break the hug, palms on each side of his face who was red and wet from tears, he nods, ashamed of his feelings. “Eddie i promise you that Esther doesn’t have to be a mistake to you, we can do this… for her.”

“What if she doesn’t like me?”

“Then we can say that we tried.” you shrug your shoulders. “I really doubt that would happen though.”

Eddie looks at your face, you really didn’t changed one single bit, your eyes were as kind as he could remember and your cheeks were always rose pink. It made him cry even more.

You stay untouched by time while he felt like his body was rotting from the inside and the outside. He wanted to dig a hole and jump to never get out of there. But instead he got a warm kiss on his right cheek, a soft and short one that was enough for him to kneel in front of you. Knees touching the wood hard enough that it stings but his hands huggimg your waist still.

“Get up, you silly man.” You laugh.

“I’m so sorry, please… Please forgive me, sweetheart.”

“Eddie you don’t have to do that! get up!” you keep laughing. “Hey, look at me.” He searches for your eyes above him. “Let’s give this conversation a rest, should we? i wanted to visit Wayne.”

“Don’t worry, i’m here okay?” Wayne opens the door with a firm step. “It’s a great moment for us to talk, isn’t it?– get up from the floor, boy.”

Eddie got up from his knees, cleanning his own tears with his black sweater and you nod, looking at Wayne with the most serious face you have seen ever in your life.

You cannot help but wonder if this was the look he gave to Eddie since you left and how much have it hurt to the boy. You can’t really imagine, Wayne adored his boy, that was his son…

“Wayne–“

“Save it boy… I’d like to say something i have been saving for years now if it doesn’t bother you.” The old man points at the sofa behind him and both of you walk to sit down, facing him. “I don’t want to know how or why you suddenly are face to face but i think it comes without a word that both of you are worked out about all of this, you both are adults, we have certain maturity already to understand this is more than just a cry and a hug.” Eddie nods, leaning foward to rest elbows on his knees, head hung low and already tired. “There has always been a life between you two, that kid right there deserves more than your wity cries and misserable aura, boy.” Wayne points at Eddie’s room. “it’s either you grow out of it or rest a case for her, you are already 25, act like it.”

Wayne has maybe seen the way you furrow your eyebrows because he sighs deeply before talking again, of course you didn’t agree with those words, even when they were directed at Eddie you felt them too, word you heard everytime rang in your mind.

“Is she healthy?”

“Yes sir.”

“Happy?”

“I’d like to think so, sir.” you nod. “She’s the prettiest, sir.”

“i bet she is, kid.” he nods before rubbing his temple. “I do agree with one thing you said… You grew up too fast, this wasn’t meant to be an easy task, you two created a whole human, do you know how heavy is that shit?”

Wayne cursing was definitely what made both the young adults stiffen in their seats, looking at eachother in fear. “We know Wayne…”

“Do you, boy?” the man raises a brow. “Have you known that for 5 years or did it just hit you?”

“I know, okay? i always knew how impactful this was, Wayne, i am a fucking moron i know, you remind me every day, everyone fucking does!” Eddie stands up from his seat, he didn’t want to raise his voice at all, the kid was sleeping on the room next to him. “I regretted every single second of my life these 5 years and i thought about stuff, everything was just way too much at the moment i completely blacked out of my mind! i was fucking 19, Wayne! She was 18 and i completely fucked her life with my own shit! don’t you think i have given myself hell for it?”

You look up at him, the tears were back and they rolled stronger than ever on his cheeks, too much emotion, too much feeling.

“I know you are disappointed as fuck with me and i know i was an asshole to her but come on! you don’t have to bring her into this shithole when you kept everything quiet for years! specially not now with the kid sleeping in the other room.” Eddie takes a big breath. “I’m fixing her car this week, please give me time.”

You can’t help but to smile at his words, it was the bare minimum but still made you feel like not everything was lost… Maybe you did had a chance to give to him and he was just scared to accept it.

Wayne saw it too. “Boy–“

“Mr. Munson– if… i can have a word i would just like to say” You interrupt the older man, standing up from your place. “Eddie was the first one to bring up the issue– i know that i shouldn’t be that easily forgetfull of the struggles i’ve been to but– if you don’t mind… i would like Esther to have a father to look up to.”

The man softened his gaze at the sound of the kid’s name, oh how much he wishes his sister was there for her boy, maybe if she was still alive this issue wouldn’t have been a problem, his parenting was not as perfect as hers after all. “Are you sure, kid?”

“Only if Eddie wants to.” you smile. “He also deserves a choice.”

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mochiswifey · 2 years

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OLDER MEN ARE TASTIER

Synopsis; Going out on a date with Takeomi Akashi. He tried to stop himself but you're just so fuckin' beautiful to resist.

CW: Age Gap, Slight Smut.

"Takeomi kun...." You happily skip towards Takeomi who's smoking and leaning on his sleek audi.

You didn't mind the curious eyes of the people walking in Shinjuku you could only focus on him. You know they're either staring because of him and his car or the fact that a younger girl like you is openly going out with an older man like him.

Either way you don't give two flying- you don't give one flying fuck.

At first, he was stoic trying to resist you, your perfect body, your blinding smile, and whatever feeling he has. But when his eyes landed on your beige ruffled mini skirt paired with a ruffled crop top bouncing with your every move, a frown appeared on his face not liking how you instantly made him hard.

Don't be fucking attracted to her. She's just a goddamn kid. You don't like her. You like experienced woman. Not a kid who probably has daddy issues.

He repeats to himself. As you approach him, you noticed the frown on his face you love so much and you couldn't help but to feel worry.

Is it because of my energy? My vibe? Should I act more mature?

You question yourself and Takeomi noticed that your smile was replaced with a distressed expression and he immediately cursed himself for making it dissapear.

"What's wrong?" He asked you dropping his cigarrete to the ground and stomping on it.

"Um... Nothing." You shake your head and dismissed his question. Takeomi is everything but dumb. He knows it's not just nothing.

"C'mon now pretty, tell me?" He grabs your hand and placed soft kisses on it making you blush. His soft lips.... You imagine how it would feel on your....

Shit. What the fuck?

You're too much for him. Because no matter how much he reminds himself to keep distance from you, it seems that he can't.

"Let's go inside the car first..." He nodded carefully putting your hand down and he opened the door for you. You gave him a small smile before entering.

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You've liked Takeomi since the first time you accidently went inside the meeting room while searching for your brother.

You can still remember how he looked so handsome and delicious at that very day.

A cigarette on his left hand, glasses and wearing just a plain white T-shirt with two buttons opened, reviewing an agreement.

He looked so fuckin' hot.

You can still remember how your stomach and legs felt so weak. He's your dream man. And hell, you'd die a happy girl if you could just taste his lips once.

You've always liked older men but never went out with them. You have not guts to ask out boys your age let alone a man like Omi. He's more experienced and deep down you know you have no probability being in a relationship with him.

You have the feeling that you'd never even would've had the chance to go out with him if it weren't for your brother telling him that you like him.

And it kinda sucks for you because you truly like him despite of the age difference.

Like you Takeomi could still remember the first day he saw you. Wearing a summer dress with your hairs curled and gorgeously tanned, you burst in the meeting room yelling "WHO THE FUCK ATE MY PUDDING!" He was mesmerized by your beauty and personality but he refrained himself because of your young age.

To him. You deserved to be with someone with your age. Someone with a beautiful youthful smile like yours. He finds it captivating and annoying because how could you smile so beautifully to a cruel man like him?

You're too good for him.

He tried to act cold and ignore you but every single time even after reminding himself that you're not right for him he found himself drawn closer to you.

"So, darlin' would you mind telling me what's wrong?" You thought he forgot about the sudden lost of your smile but after 15 minutes of driving he brought up the question again.

"Well you know...." You trailed off before sighing and averting your gaze to the window.

You were instantly mesmerized by the view of the sea. Kanagawa rainbow bridge. You've always liked passing that particular bridge because it gives you the sense of hope and bright future.

Takeomi gritted his teeth when you didn't answer his question. He was about to grabbed your wrist to get your attention but his act was stopped when he saw you admiring the scenery that meant nothing to him.

"Before I answer your question- this is super stupid and you'd probably think I'm dumb but... I really like passing this bridge. The buildings, the sea. The ships. Everything looks so beautiful. It gives me a sense of hope and a bright future"

His face soften and his whole body relaxed for an unknown reason.

He could get women. Experienced or Inexperieced. By money or simply his looks. But every girl he's been with has never made him feel the way you make him feel.

"And uh... yeah. 'bout your question. I got a little worried because you had a frown on your face."

Of course, it's because of fuckin' me.

"I'm sorry angel." He apologized not liking that he was the reason of your lost smile. You simply chuckled not wanting to put stress on him then you turned your body to Omi whose eyes are dangerously glued to your every moment rather than the highway. You placed your hand on his shoulder sending chills to him. Your touch. It's so fucking delicate he could melt under it.

"Let's have some fun shall we?"

Because tonight you're mine.

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You two went to the famouse teamlab borderless illumination in Tokyo. As expected many people stared. Many people whispered things. But you didn't let it stop you from having fun with the man you want to be yours.

Takeomi didn't like spontanteous crowded places but his want of seeing you smile and feeling your arms wrapped around his body over powers his dislikes.

"Omi...."

"Hmm?" He leaned down to you and your heart stopped when you realized his lips are just inches away from yours. You stared at his lips thinking of its taste. Will it taste like sin or heaven? Either way you’d like to try it for yourself.

Takeomi noticed your eyes glued to his lips and it curved into a smirk. You nervously laughed before taking a step back bumbing into a random person.

"I'm sorry..." You apologized but the person didn't even bother to say anything. "Hey you okay?" He pulls you closer to him and your body collided with his and the intoxicating smell of him welcomed you. Being so close to him you started to think how his bare body would feel like against yours.

"I-I'm fine. I just wanted to ask if you'd like to eat at that tea house with me?" You nervously says looking up to him.

He'd never decline you.

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"Oishi?" You asked him and he nodded.

Don't do it.

You try to stop yourself from blushing. After your order of traditional tea and macha ice cream arrived you mindlessly started spoon feeding him and god... he makes you feel unholy things and you do the same thing to him.

"Hey, why are you covering your mouth?" He raised his eyebrow and grabbed your hand away from your mouth revealing your flushed red cheeks.

"I-it's that... yoursohandsomeIfeelweird." The last few words were barely audible.

"Hmm?" He turns his ear to you and you cupped it and went on whisper the words you weren't able to say aloud.

"You're so handsome I feel weird."

Why are you doing this to me?

Your whisper on his ear was the most seductive thing he has ever heard. If he could. He would've fucked you on the spot. He was considering fucking you at that spot thinking it's possible because the whole place is dark and is only illuminated by a few flower shaped lights.

"I'm sorry, I'm so silly. Let's eat?"

"You're not. You make me feel things too." He turns your face to the side and kissed your earlobe. Your breath hitched and you felt yourself getting wet.

"You make me feel unholy things..." He whispered seductively. You nervously laughed and picked up your tea drinking it in one go.

Takeomi chuckled and adjusted his pants. It's been annoying. He's been hard for a solid hour and he'd been hiding it with his vintage Christian Dior wallet the whole time and he's sure he'd just cum just by watching you.

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After eating the two of you went to your final destination. You've taken 139 photos with him and the last one should be the best. And it's in the lantern area.

"This is like the rapunzel movie. Have you watched it?"

"Yeah… Senju my uh- sister made me." You look at him wide eyed as you continue to drag him towards the center of the area.

“No way!”

“Sadly, yes way.” He chuckles.

“She forced me.”

You laughed and fiddled with his tie before hugging him.

You're a little bit sad that this date is going to end soon but you've had a nice time.

"You're so handsome." You compliment him as the two of you stand in the center, body touching you two felt perfectly calm. He looks down at you and you look up to him.

Your height matches perfectly with him and even though the people around the two of you think that you and him are a very odd couple they couldn't deny the fact that you two look amazing together.

His hands went to your waist and your hands went to his chest.

"I've had fun today."

"Me too."

You chuckle and leaned your face on his hard chest. If only he was younger. Maybe he and you would've already been together.

"Excuse me sir? Can you take a photo of us?" You suddenly pulled away from him and asked the man standing nearby to take a picture of the two of you.

The man you asked was very nice and agreed. But you noticed that even him is puzzled at the fact that you were going out with an older man.

People really need to mind their businesses these days.

The two of you smiled and leaned towards each other with your faces just inches apart.

Fuck morals. I'm a criminal anyway why the hell was I worried about it anyways?

The man snapped a few shots and handed you your phone back. You thanked him and went to look at the photos he took...

"This is my favorite." He says placing a kiss on the top of your head surprising you. His touch sent goosebumps all over your body and all you wanted to do is taste his lips but you tell yourself all his attention is out of pity. It was far from the truth.

"We should go."

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You two held hands all the way back to your house. The car ride was silent but it was peace. Pure peace. Something he hasn't felt in a long time.

"Thank you Omi. I know you did this out of pity and probably the immense pressure my brother placed on you. But-"

"`I like you."

"And I- wait what?"

He chuckled at your cute reaction before taking your hand.

"I like you. We may be decades apart but love knows no age right?" Your heart jumped and joy overflow within your body. You mindlessly jumped to him and thankfully he caught your body.

You grabbed his face with your hands and kissed him deeply. His eyes widen not expecting a bold act from you but he let you taste him knowing he's all you've ever wanted.

His hands kneed your ass as you continue to explore his mouth. After making out intensely you pulled away from his lips and went on to kiss his neck making him groan.

"Don't I will fuck you if you-" "Then do it Omi." You stopped and looked him in the eyes. It wasn't just lust that was in your eyes. It was pure want for him.

"Fuck me, Mark me, Own me. I'm ready to be yours."

And he did what you told him to. Barely inside your house his hands were all over your body and yours on his. You two savour each other's warmth and let your hunger for each other take over.

It was lovely. Very lovely.

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{Thank you for reading. reblogs and replies are greatly appreciated.}

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