#cishet privilege

[uncanny-tranny]

I think instead of treating somebody's queerness as a right for you to know, people should instead think of somebody's queerness as a privilege to know.

It is a privilege for you to know if somebody is queer - it is by no means a right. It should be treated as such.

[shelfperson]

gabriel is horrible stinky etc but i do support gay wrongs. i do support gay wrongs.

[tiredyke]

that’s why i usually don’t say “cis men” instead of just men because too many trans men on this site have proven over and over again that they are not exempt from parroting the exact same misogynistic rhetoric as cis dudes. that’s cool if your gender is ‘spicy’ but you’re still a guy!

[identitty-dickruption]

also people talking about how few third spaces men have.... look around you. how many third spaces do any of us have? for every demographic you can think of, there are complaints about the lack of third spaces. think about how often this comes up in reference to teenagers, to queer people, to young families, etc etc etc. what this tells me is that it simply is not a demographic problem. it's a capitalism problem. that doesn't mean it's not a problem. it absolutely is! but you cannot say with a straight face that men are suffering from a lack of third spaces as if this is a problem unique to men. and the fact that this is yet another conversation that has come to centre men and men's feelings. well. that really says something about the value we place on men's problems as compared to. literally anyone else. lol

and before anyone starts with TERF shit: this post is covered in trans cooties fuck off

[punkisntdeadandneitherami]

Omfg just noticed

i just noticed the lgbt tags are corourful wtf i love that sm

[newtscamandersbf]

im gonna be honest i hate when people use 'which could mean nothing' for a straight couple … like no !!! dont yall already have enough !!! this is for the queers and the queers only the only exception i will make is percabeth !!!

[fungisteri]

Honestly the whole transandrophobia debate is kind of like the most Tumblr discourse ever. Like it's all just transfems vs transmascs arguing online over semantics while irl cis gnc people get hatecrimed for "looking trans"

[gay-otlc]

You can't copy and paste the same framework for sexuality that applies to cis people and try to apply it for trans people, it doesn't work like that

[despertara]

Irene bro if you see this I want you to know I've been podcasting (talking loudly and emphatically to myself) abt that Grammy Gun post for Hours. I started ranting in the rb tags and then I got so mad I started a spreadsheet on my phone Yes I have the Excel app. No I did not finish my tags

[sweet-milky-tea705]

Being gay might not be a choice but i wouldnt try to conform for a million dollars. Being "cis" sucked ass and the thought of living like im straight makes me want to gag. I have actually zero desire to be "normal" and its strange feeling like i should feel that way because its part of The Experience

[snekdood]

Some of yall deeply underestimate how much some cis men are threatened by trans men and our masculinity. How theres so many cis dudes out there that want to rape us, thinking that will make us detransition. How many incels out there are mad at us for betraying womanhood and not sucking their dick. How much they want to force us to detransition, how much they want to kill us and force us into hiding which, to me, minus well be killing us since theyre smothering who we are for the sake of a status quo. We shake their fundamental understanding of the world. Its one thing for a GIRL to be a tomboy to them. They think its cute, like a baby pretending to be an adult. Its a whole other thing for someone percieved as a woman to try to actually be a man to them. They think thw fact we have the gal to assume we can escape their grasp, to escape the kitchen or whatever tf, means we're disrespecting them and trying to "destroy" them, rather than what it really is, us trying to be independent. We're the exact thing these types of cis men hate. Sometimes they tolerate (emphasis here bc im not saying they accept yall. Dont twist my words)trans women bc they fetishize them but they want to completely eradicate us becayse we threaten the patriarchy by virtue of deciding we dont need a man to take care of us, we want to be the man that takes care of ourselves.

[transmasc-wizard]

im very tired of disabled people being forgotten to, you know, exist

[identitty-dickruption]

the thing that really gets me about various measures of polarisation is that. it is not evenly matched at all. "would you marry someone who votes for the other party?" well. let's think. would I (a transsexual lesbian) marry someone who is likely to be opposed to queer rights? hmmmm much to consider

[nicastamatis]

@ anon, im not answering any other asks and idk if blocking you also blocks you from seeing this, but homophobic trans people exist and transphobic gay people exist. they are not less queer just because they suck. the existence of trans/homophobic cishet aces doesn't make them less queer. you being bitter about bad experiences with cishet aros/aces doesn't excuse furthering community division; you don't have to be friends with or even interact with cishet aces if you don't want to, but coming onto some random persons blog over a fucking offhand comment on a vent post to start arguing about this is unhinged.

[lesbianloveisreal]

It's really easy to tell queer people who are active, involved, or otherwise in the community culture (to the best of their ability) compared to one's that use "queer" as a fun little label.

Is their label still valid? Sure. I don't care. I honestly am over having to say "you're valid you're valid you're valid" to people because they are, and that's that. I'm not spending my entire night at the only place I can hug my gf in public to explain why someone more privileged than I am is valid. We can discuss other things about it.

But just because you are valid doesn't mean you aren't harmful to the community with your behavior and lack of understanding of our community and culture.

Etc. (As a nonbinary lesbian that is "straight passing" when im alone (I hate this term but whatever) )

If I'm saying or doing something that harms people in the community that are MORE OPPRESSED THAN I AM then I am actively harming our community.

If I go in and start harassing butches or trans people I am using my privileges to hurt our community.

If I start getting mad that butch women aren't talking and flirting with me when (at least in my local community) it is more often expected for femmes to make the first move, I am actively not using our queer cultural "rules" in that moment in my local community.

So, maybe if you notice your local queer community (especially people more oppressed than you) getting upset with you being there MAYBE it's not about your identity at all.

MAYBE if they kick you out, you are doing a disservice to your local community *after all nonqueers are usually allowed in those spaces too*

And please don't give me that "straight passing isn't a privilege" yes it is.

Can it still be annoying? Yes. But I know butch women that can't get jobs, get attacked while walking down the street, have had to leave places because someone threatened them, have gotten things thrown at them, had people scream at them at work, etc.

[himejoshibutch]

god forbid masculine women try to look masculine without being told "you should try being a man then" 🙄