#clocking in at 1099 words

[babblingbookends]

Writing prompt: Bruce teaching a Robin of your choice (or Cass) how to swim

For this I had to google three things: 'how deep are in-ground pools', 'how tall are twelve-year-old boys', and 'basic swimming strokes'. Hope you like it!

~~~

“We went to the beach one time when I was a toddler, but I was too young to remember it, and a membership to the city pools cost too much. When would I have learned to swim?”

“I thought maybe at school.”

Jason crossed his arms. So maybe he was feeling a little defensive; sue him. “All the schools I’ve been to, I’ve been lucky if they have free lunches, forget about a pool.”

Bruce shrugged, like it was no big deal that Jason was poor and never learned how to swim. “Well, Alfred will be opening the pool next weekend, so we’ll have swimming lessons then.”

“Isn’t it going to be cold?” Jason asked warily.

Bruce winked. “It’s a heated pool. Perks of being wealthy.”

Okay, so maybe Bruce didn’t care that he didn’t know how to swim. That was Bruce though; no problem he couldn’t solve. “As long as it’s warm,” Jason agreed.

~~~

Bruce explained to him about different strokes, about holding your breath, about buoyancy and physics and a bunch of other stuff that Jason had tuned out five minutes ago.

“C’mon, B, just let me do it,” he said, impatient. “I’m not going to learn by just standing here.”

“Alright,” Bruce said, ruffling his hair. “Let me get in first, and then you.”

“Jeez, I’m not going to drown on the ladder,” Jason said, but he let Bruce get in first. “Is it cold?” he asked, eyeing the water. Bruce wasn’t acting like it was cold, but knowing him he’d probably taken swimming lessons in the north pole or something and thought a cold pool was warm.

“Nope, it’s a perfect temperature.”

Jason dipped his toe in. “I don’t know, it kinda feels cold.”

“Jason, two seconds ago you were telling me to hurry up, and now you’re stalling. Get in.”

“Fine!” he said, tossing his hands in the air. He stepped onto the first step, the water coming up to his ankles. “Okay, you were right, it’s not cold,” he said begrudgingly. He stepped down further into the water, until he was off the ladder. With his feet on the ground, the water level came up to his neck.

“The shallow end is four feet, and the deep end is eight feet,” Bruce said. “We’ll stay in the shallow end until you’ve got the basics and then you can do some laps if you want.”

“Cool,” Jason said. He bounced in the water. “Hey, this is pretty fun!” So maybe he’d been a little nervous. But just a little! But that was dumb, because the water was pretty nice, even if the air was a little cold. He splashed at Bruce, and spluttered when Bruce splashed back.

“Alright, let’s get to it,” Bruce said fondly.

~~~

Bruce demonstrated the basics of the front crawl stroke, and then slowly Jason began to practice it as Bruce corrected his form. Eventually, he’d figured out enough of the motions that he’d gotten a bit of a rhythm and Bruce wasn’t giving out so many corrections.

“Can I try some laps now?” Jason asked eagerly, when Bruce made him stop for a drink.

“Sure, son, if you’re not too tired.”

Tired? How could he be tired? He could do this all day, he was having so much fun!

“Yeah, I want to. Obviously,” he said, handing his water bottle over to Bruce and jumping back into the water, ignoring the way Bruce rolled his eyes.

He pulled his goggles back on and started at the shallow end, kicking and stroking his way across the pool, turning his face out of the water only to breath, just like B had shown him, and when he got to the other end he stopped for a moment to yell back to Bruce, “Look, B, I’m doing it!”

“You’re doing great, Jason, keep it up!” Bruce called back from where he was watching at the other end, and Jason beamed and started back towards him.

He was maybe a quarter of the way back when his leg cramped, and he missed a stroke, and he fell under the water further than he was expecting.

Panic grabbed him and he sunk, his whole body falling beneath the surface of the water. He kicked, trying to get to the surface, then twisted when the cramp in his leg throbbed worse.

His face broke out of the water. “Oh god,” he garbled, spitting out a mouthful of water and trying to get a breath in before he sunk again.

Arms suddenly wrapped around him, pulling him out of the water. He immediately latched on, wrapping himself around Bruce.

“Don’t let go! Don’t let go!” he gasped, frantic.

“I’ve got you, you’re fine, stop choking me,” Bruce wheezed. “I’ve got you.” Reluctantly, Jason loosened his grip around Bruce’s neck. Bruce carried him back to the side and set him down on the edge.

Now out of the water, Jason felt slightly more calm, but that meant that his brain was now focusing on the sharp, painful cramp in his calf. “Ah!” he winced, pressing his thumb into the cramping muscle, trying to get it to relax.

“Are you okay?” Bruce asked. Jason wiped the water out of his eyes and looked up at him. B looked almost… scared, but it was a look Jason had never seen on him before, so he couldn’t be sure.

“I’m fine, B,” he said, breath catching as he massaged the muscle. “It was just a leg cramp, it caught me off guard.”

“Here, let me,” Bruce said, brushing Jason’s hands away and beginning to rub out the muscle with smooth efficiency. Jason wondered how many time Bruce had rubbed out his own cramps, or if Alfred had done it for him.

“Hey, Bruce?” Jason asked.

“Hmm?”

“This was really great. Well, up until I almost drowned.”

“You weren’t even close to drowning,” Bruce grumbled, and yeah, maybe Jason hadn’t recognized that look on his face but that sure was a familiar tone of voice. Bruce had been scared, at least a little.

“Sure, boss,” he said cheerfully, trying to make sure Bruce knew that he was okay, physically and emotionally. “Whatever you say.”

Bruce stopped rubbing out his calf and flicked his forehead.

“Ow!” he complained, but it didn’t really hurt.

“Fine, you almost drowned. But you get to tell Alfred about it.”

“Uh, never mind,” Jason said, backtracking. “I wasn’t really that close to drowning. We don’t need to mention anything to Alfred.”

Bruce grinned at him, and Jason for sure recognized that look: partners in crime.

[missiletoe]

quick fill from the yuri shipping olympics that i wrote on the train ride home! continuation of the witches AU that has gone on for much longer than I planned LMAO

Prompt: “I know this sounds crazy, but I need you to kiss me right now.”

Word Count: 1099

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I know this sounds crazy, but I need you to kiss me right now.”

Desperation can’t hold a candle to Kitty right now. She’s two steps away from getting on her knees and begging.

Yuri stares back at her blankly.

“Kiss you?” she asks, like the words don’t quite fit right in her mouth. Kitty spares a frantic glance at the clock as she nods repeatedly, like her head’s on an axle. “Can you elaborate?”

“No time to—” Her words catch in her throat and she feels the transformation before she sees it. Her heart seizes in her chest and her eyes slide shut as her whole body is racked with tremors.

When she opens her eyes again, Yuri is towering over her.

“Kitty?” she asks, squinting down at her. Kitty has never wished for an invisible cloak more in her life.

She groans and drags her newfound frog-body as far as she can. She makes it about an inch across the hallway.

Yuri kneels down to eye-level—or at least as close as she can get. She’s still got a solid foot on Kitty.

“Oh my, how the turns have tabled, Portland Frog Eater.” Kitty stomps one webbed foot? paw? hand? against the ground in protest.

“Stop laughing!”

“I’m not laughing,” Yuri says but it’s a close thing. Kitty can read it in the curling end of her mouth. She smacks her leg with one of her webbed toes and the resounding squelching noise makes them both flinch.

“I know you are,” she says, leveling one accusatory toe at her. “On the inside!”

Yuri’s mouth wiggles dangerously—like she’s contemplating denying it before finally caving.

“Fine, you caught me,” she says, giggling, and because she is the most infuriatingly pretty and angelic person Kitty has ever met, even her giggles are cute. Meanwhile, Kitty is leaking slime-sweat all over the tiles. “You gotta admit though—it’s a little funny. What in the world happened to you, Kitty?”

“Minho happened,” Kitty spits out. If she has her way, this will be Minho’s last day in the academy—scratch that, last day on the face of the Earth. He can kiss his imported foot-cream-elephant-lotion that he just pre-ordered goodbye. He won’t live to receive it but Kitty will make sure to use every last drop of it and laugh.

“What about Minho exactly?”

“He had a ‘slip of the tongue’ and accidentally turned me into a frog instead of making my skin clear. Slip of the tongue—yeah right! He’s never misspoke in his life!” Yuri snorts and Kitty frowns back in response. Or at least manages as much of a disapproving look as she can with her frog facial muscles.

“And so the way you undo the curse is you kiss… anyone in the vicinity?”

Kitty furiously hopes blushing is negated by frog blood or something. God, she wishes she paid more attention in bio class.

“Y-Yep!” she yells, leaning against the wall to lend her some credibility. Her foot ends up squeaking against the lockers instead.

“Great, why don’t you just ask Minho to kiss you to undo the curse then?” Kitty stares at her like she just suggested she jump off a bridge. She might as well have.

“I’d rather stay a frog. Forever.” Yuri bats her eyes at her in faux-innocence.

“But I thought you said anyone would do…”

They lock eyes in a stand-off and Kitty knows she’s never stood a chance against Yuri.

“Fine!” she sputters. “I lied! It has to be someone as handsome as a prince!”

Yuri blinks like she’s been hit over the head, a dazed expression frozen on her face.

“You think I’m handsome?”

Kitty tries to bury her face but it doesn’t quite work when her limbs are half their normal length and attached in all the wrong places. She only looks up when Yuri taps one finger on her back.

“Hey, come closer,” she says and Kitty takes one hesitant hop forward.

Yuri leans in and Kitty screams. She immediately scrambles backwards and goes skidding across the tiles.

“What are you doing?!” she screams when she’s a safe half-foot away.

“Trying to kiss you!” Yuri yells back. “You just said you need a kiss to break the curse!”

“Not like this!” Kitty wails. There’s a puddle of slime pooling under her legs for emphasis. Yuri heaves one of her carrying-the-weight-of-the-world sighs in response.

“Kitty Song Covey, do you want to stay a frog forever? How are you going to go to class tomorrow?”

Kitty sighs and stares up at her. She has a point—she always does. Besides, who wouldn’t want to kiss the prettiest girl in school? Even if… she’s currently a frog. Beggars can’t be choosers though, she supposes.

Yuri leans in again and this time Kitty doesn’t pull away. Her first kiss tastes like slime and smells like sewer water. She feels that same full-body pain again—the way her heart clenches, and her limbs coil before they unfurl back into her human self.

Kitty has never been so relieved at the sight of five fingers on her hand. She immediately lunges forward to tackle Yuri in a hug.

It’s only when Yuri squeaks mildly in protest that she realizes what she’s doing.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! Can we forget about that? Actually, can we forget about the whole thing? Forget that I ever turned into a frog, although don’t worry if you see Minho on the news tonight but please—”

“If you’re so sorry, why don’t you take me out?” Yuri asks, bringing her freight train of thoughts to a grinding halt. Kitty blinks at her wordlessly.

“What?”

“Buy me a drink!” Yuri says, like being asked by a talking frog to kiss you is a daily occurrence. Maybe it is for her. “God knows I could use one in this weather.”

“You’re not… mad?”

“I’m happy to help! Let me know if you’re ever in a sticky situation again.” She says that last part with a wink and the irony isn’t lost on Kitty.

“Yeah, no, I’ll buy you the whole café! Well, not the whole café because I couldn’t afford that… although you probably could. I can buy you a nice latte though! Maybe even a cake if they have one of those small ones. Uh… I think I have some won somewhere around here.”

Yuri watches her fumble around her bag with a smile.

“Just so you know, the kiss wasn’t so bad. But if you’re sooo eager to redo it, I wouldn’t mind trying again!”

Kitty’s heart stops again but this time there’s no magic involved.

[literaticat]

How does medical and bereavement leave work for agents without assistants? If they’re out for months or even years, what happens to their clients?

Many agents are not technically "employees" of their companies, they are freelancers paid by via commission on a 1099 rather than regular salary. So, technically, those of us who are paid in this fashion don't get medical leave, bereavement leave, maternity/paternity leave, sick days, PTO or vacations at all. We don't "clock in" or have set hours anyway -- which means that in practice, we COULD work 24/7 if we wanted to -- or we could work not at all if we wanted to.

(Neither option is great, obviously, so most agents split the difference and work a relatively normal-to-long work week most of the time!)

Point being, hours are flexible and our workload is pretty much whatever we need it to be at that time -- so an agent who is also a mom with young kids may choose to take on fewer clients or trim their list, whereas somebody with no kids or whose kids have grown might have extra time for more, etc.

So basically, if an agent KNOWS that they are going to be gone for a few months ahead of time (maternity leave, say, or they are having a planned medical procedure or something like that), they would likely tell their clients ahead of time, get as much done as possible before they left, so most projects are pretty much squared away or at a good pausable moment, and then somebody else at the agency would handle payments that come in and run point for any questions or issues that might come up whilst the primary agent is away.

(Quite frankly, publishing moves so slowly that most of the time, 8 or 12 weeks away would probably not be that noticeable -- once a client's book is under contract, there are often MANY MANY months where an agent would not have to be around at all. And submissions take long enough that honestly, "having to wait" for a month or three would not make a significant difference in the length of time the sale might take. In other words -- whether I submit this book in March or May, it probably won't sell till later in the year anyway, and both ways, it probably wouldn't be coming out for a year and a half/two years (or more!) after that, regardless of when I submitted it -- so if you finish the book while the agent is away, it can probably wait till they get back to be dealt with.)

If it's an acute crisis situation/family emergency/sudden illness where they DON'T know in advance, they would likely just communicate with their clients about what is going on and somebody else at the agency would step in to help as necessary, and they'd check in periodically and get back as soon as they were able.

If it is a long-term thing, they'd probably figure out a way to adjust and work through it, because few agents would be willing to give up their clients if they didn't have to -- but they might just have more limited hours, or something like that.

If they are gravely ill to the point where they CAN'T work through it, and it really might be YEARS... well, they might decide to retire at that point, or at least step back significantly. I have never encountered that situation (knock wood), but I guess what would happen is, they (or if they are unable, the boss) would let the clients know what was happening, and either the clients could be moved to other agents at the agency, or leave and choose a new agent elsewhere.

[ao3feed-chaleigh]

Chance For One Shatterdome Family

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/Bjq6gOL

by Akaior

Honestly, no idea how they did it, with the lowest possibility known, the operation done on pure theory and hope. They not only completed the mission of closing the breach, but to survive it as well. While coming out stronger, better, and closer than before. And for the Marshall to have a chance of actually living longer than medically projected. It may be a rough few years getting the PPDC back on its feet, jaegers filling the bay again, and to train more staff and pilots. But if they survived Operation Pitfall, they could survive this. Hopefully, before the UN tries to take credit for destroying the breach or trying to put the PPDC under its thumb again and the kaiju threat returns. But together with their strange shatterdome family, they’ll succeed.

(Everyone lives damnit because they’re a shatterdome family and they deserve happiness. ) [Kind of starts with the movie]

Inspired by “Drift Compatible” by MeganMoonlight and nanuk_dain “Revive” by Amethystina “War Clock” by Jocelyn “Pacific Rim: Good End” by Christian_Latte

Words: 1099, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Pacific Rim (Movies)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M

Characters: Stacker Pentecost, Hercules Hansen, Hermann Gottlieb, Newton Geiszler, Sasha Kaidonovsky, Aleksis Kaidonovsky, Yancy Becket, Raleigh Becket, Wei Tang Clan, Jin Wei, Cheung Wei, Hu Wei, Chuck Hansen, Mako Mori, Max (Pacific Rim), Naomi Sokolov, Tendo Choi, Caitlin Lightcap, Jake Pentecost

Relationships: Mako Mori & Stacker Pentecost, Chuck Hansen & Hercules Hansen, Raleigh Becket & Mako Mori, Raleigh Becket & Yancy Becket, Raleigh Becket & Tendo Choi, Raleigh Becket & Chuck Hansen & Mako Mori, Hercules Hansen/Stacker Pentecost, Raleigh Becket/Chuck Hansen, Cheung Wei & Hu Wei & Jin Wei, Aleksis Kaidonovsky/Sasha Kaidonovsky, Newton Geiszler & Hermann Gottlieb

Additional Tags: Shatterdome Shenanigans, Shatterdome Family, Stacker Pentecost Lives, Chuck Hansen Lives, Everyone Is Alive, Everyone Has Issues, Everyone Needs A Hug, Tendo Choi Knows All, Max loves everyone and they love him, Stacker & Herc are trying

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/Bjq6gOL

[chad-der-box]

2023 WWDC Keynote Recap

This year's keynote is expected to cover a few things.

New software updates to be released this fall

New Macs (specifically looking at a bigger MacBook Air and an updated Mac Studio)

Apple's Virtual Reality headset (Rumored to be named Reality Pro, powered by realityOS).

With that being said, let's get started!

15” Macbook Air

11.5 mm thing; just over three pounds

Magsafe charging and two thunderbolt ports

Available in Midnight, Starlight, Silver and Space Gray

15.3” screen to be exact

18 hours of battery life

Six speakers

TLDR: we made the 13” Macbook Air bigger

Starting at $1299

Available to order today; ships next week

M2 13” Macbook Air dropping by $100 to $1099

M2 Mac Studio

Updating to the M2 Max

Also announcing the M2 Ultra chip, double the performance of the Max

It’s literally two M2 Max chips put together

This thing is stupid powerful and none of you reading this will ever need this power

Faster HDMI ports

MAC PRO

Was not expecting this omg

First Apple Silicon computer to have PCI expansion

All come with M2 Ultra

Afterburner card built directly into the Mac Pro

This is going to be so expensive.

8 Thunderbolt Port

iOS 17

Phone, Facetime & Messages

Personalized contact posters for the phone app so you display how you want to on other people’s devices

Live Voicemail - you can see live transcriptions of Voicemails as people make them

FaceTime now has a “voicemail” function for when someone isn’t available

Messages is receiving stronger search functions

Group chats will jump to the first message you haven’t seen

Swipe on a bubble to reply directly to that message

Check In - let’s your friend know when you get home or let them know if you were delayed or something went awry

All end to end encrypted and on the device

iMessage apps are hidden behind button now to declutter the app

Stickers are being updated as well to be more powerful

Spending way too much time on stickers…

AirDrop

NameDrop - bring phones close together and you can choose to send someone selected contact details

This is basically that old Drop app people had ten years ago

For large files, you don’t have to stay right next to the person anymore

Autocorrect

Autocorrect now becoming stronger using AI (they wouldn’t use that word though)

Keyboard will do better at learning words (no longer changing your swear words to “duck”)

Dictation getting stronger as well with “not AI”

Journal

New App 

Phone intelligently uses data from your phone to create details journal entries

Only uses the information you give it access to

Set reminders for when to make your journal entries

On device processing, end to end encrypted

Standby

When phone is on its side and charging, it will basically transform into a smart display

Shows clock, weather, alarm, calendar, etc.

Even remembers preferred view for where you are when you charge

Basically requires a MagSafe charger but i'd be curious if it would work while plugged in and sitting on its side

The Others

You no longer need to say “Hey” to activate Siri

May lead to a lot more accidental activations if not done correctly by Apple

Photos now creates albums of your pets!!

Offline Maps rolling out as well

iPadOS 17

Widgets & Lock Screen

Widgets are now interactive instead of just displaying info

Lock Screen

iPads getting the same lock screen features as last year’s iPhones finally

Up to 6 widgets on your lock screen

Live Activity features coming to the lock screen (like timers or order tracking)

The Others

Health app now coming to iPad and has been optimized for the larger screen

“The best device for PDFs” lol

Now easier to fill out PDF forms directly in apps like Mail and Notes and not having to switch to other apps

Multiple PDFs can be saved in the same note now, as well as collaborate on PDFs in a note

Better Stage Manager controls

External display support for FaceTime & conference calls

macOS Sonoma

Screensavers & Widgets

Macs receiving the same type of screensavers that the Apple TV has

Widgets can be added to the desktop instead of hiding in notification center

Intelligently faded into the background or tint so they aren’t distracting when opening up apps

You can access iPhone widgets on Mac as long as iPhone is on the same Wi-Fi

All of this is just making me want a touchscreen Mac more

Gaming

On a Mac? lol

Introducing “Game Mode”

Optimizes CPU & GPU performance to make sure gaming is the priority

Lowers audio latency on AirPods

Game Porting Toolkit to make it easier for developers to bring games to the Mac

Video Conferencing

New ways to layer your conference calls with content you are sharing

New effects in calls just like iMessage

Looks cool but will take support from conferencing apps if I’m understanding correctly

Safari & Web Apps

Private browsing locks your private windows when you aren’t using them

Profiles feature let’s you customize your browser to what you’re doing, such as work or school or home

You can now turn websites into web apps, treating it as its own app instead of a tab in the browser

Third party apps allowed you to do this before but its nice that its integrated now

Audio & Home

AirPods

Adaptive Audio - combines Noise Cancelling & Transparency modes

Lets you choose the level that’s appropriate for your current environment

AirPods sense when you start speaking and lower your music appropriately

Some really useful features... now if only the AirPods Pro would stay in my ears

AirPlay

Can use Siri on HomePod to start playing certain devices on your phone like SoundCloud

AirPlay in Hotels

Uses QR code to quickly connect your phone to your hotel’s TV

SharePlay in Carplay

tvOS

iPhone can locate the remote finally!

FaceTime on Apple TV

Wirelessly connects to iPhone to use the camera, and displays the caller on the TV for everyone to see

Also enables you to watch shows on your TV and stay on a call with friends to watch together

Zoom & Webex coming to the TV later this year

watchOS 10

It’s already been 10 years?!?!?!

Widgets

Widgets now hidden right below the watch face so you can scroll to see more useful information quickly

Many apps updated to take better advantage of display and be more glanceable

Fitness

New Cycling features for the Watch

Shows power zones, show up on iPhone as live activity, connect to Bluetooth sensors in bikes

Will keep track of last place you had cellular connection

Last place you had service for SOS calls as well

More trails and trailheads added to Maps

You can see topographic map data now as well to see elevation on trails

Health

Watch now lets you to reflect on your mood & emotions throughout the day (also available on Phone)

Health app will correlate moods with activity and lifestyle changes

Vision Health

Focusing on Myopia

Apple Watch will sense amount of time in daylight for children to reduce risk of myopia

Screen Distance feature lets you know if your device is too close and will cause eyestrain

All health data is encrypted and not stored in the cloud

ONE MORE THING

Apple Vision Pro

Y’all just have to watch the video for this. If Apple delivers on what they’re showing then its a big moment.

•Uses hand & eye tracking to control the device. No controllers. •Apps can react to the world around you •Look at search fields and you can just start talking to fill it out •Also the front of the device shows your eyes… its… weird…  •Calling it “Eyesight” •Supposed to make it easier for people to see where you’re paying attention

•Again, this is such a weird new dynamic that its hard to describe here without seeing the visuals •Works as a 3D Camera  •Turn any space into a 3D IMAX theater

OH BOB IGER IS HERE

• Ok actually watch this Disney demo. Wild stuff. But also consider of it half of it is probably fake.

•New R1 chip in addition to the M2 chip for the device. •runs “virtually silent” so it makes some noise lol •Device makes a 3D avatar of you for FaceTime calls. Like a lifelike avatar. Very different from how Meta does their calls •New images streamed to the displays in 12 milliseconds

•visionOS is the name of the operating system here. The assumed name was realityOS. •Lots of developers, including Adobe & Microsoft, building support for launch •New app store for the device as well •Unlocks via Optic ID, which uses your Iris and stores information encrypted on the device •Device does not share data with developers about where you look on the screen •Over 5000 patents went into this thing

•$3499  •Available early next year •that’s both more expensive and later than what as expected

And that's a wrap. Some real interesting stuff shown today. Public Betas of the software updates should be available in about a month. And if you're looking for the new iPhones or watches, you're about three months too early. Check back in September for more on that!

You can view the whole keynote from today below or a quick video recap from Apple as well.

Recap: https://youtu.be/6_pru8U2RmM

Full Keynote: https://www.youtube.com/live/GYkq9Rgoj8E?feature=share

[luckyspike]

Spooky Halloween - A Good Omens Fanfiction

in which the line between the real world and the supernatural gets a little thinner

and the ineffables deal with it as well as they can

--

Everyone who knew Crowley’s true nature - these days, this included the Them, and a select few adults - assumed that Halloween would be prime time for the demon. It was, after all, the eve of the spirits, when the physical world pulled in closest with the supernatural, and the borders between the two broke down. It was the day when spooky was loved and celebrated, and surely Crowley would be all about that, wouldn’t he?

It was why Anathema was struggling particularly hard with Crowley’s outright refusal to show up at Adam’s Halloween party. “Come on, Crowley, you have to be kidding, what do you mean you don’t go out on Halloween?”

“I don’t,” he replied firmly. In the background, she could hear something that sounded suspiciously like plants being ripped out of the ground. “Stay in all day. 24 hours.”

“But it’s spooky. You love spooky.”

“Yes, but you know there is such a thing as too much of a good thing.”

“Oh?” She thought it over. “Like, too reminiscent of Hell, because I could convince him to tone down the decorations.”

“No, not that.” She heard him huff, and there came the sound of a body flopping into the grass. She had trouble not smiling, imaging the demon sprawled out on the lawn of the cottage, because she knew him and knew that was precisely what he was doing. “Me.”

“What about you?”

He groaned. “You can be really thick sometimes, you know it, Book-Girl?” She bristled, almost snapped a reply, but he had plowed on. “The boundaries between the human world and the supernatural are blurred. My corporation can only keep it together so well when that border breaks down.”

“Oh.”

“I mean, Aziraphale’s too,” he added, as an afterthought. “But he just gets sort of gimpy on that leg and has some extra eyeballs. He could - and he has - pass it off as a costume if he really needed to. Whereas me, well …” He sighed. “If I don’t just go serpent altogether I can hold a vaguely-human shape but it sort of stretches the limits of credibility to say it’s a costume or makeup or what have you.”

“Ah. Sorry I, uh, didn’t think of it that way. I think I understand now.” And she did. Crowley made some kind of non-specific noise on the other end of the line, and she went on, “Seriously, sorry.”

“Eh, don’t be. Natural assumption, really. And I have gone out on Halloween,” he added, “but because I needed to do some proper demon things. The scales and the horns really do help.”

She tried to imagine Crowley looking anything like a proper demon, and failed miserably. “I can imagine,” she said anyway. “Well, alright. I’ll tell the Them … something. Say you’re not feeling well or something.”

“Just tell them the truth. Adam’s the Antichrist, I hardly think demons doing demon things is going to be a shocking revelation.”

“Well, no, but I think if I tell them you’re spending the day cooped up because you look properly scary for once they’ll be even more disappointed you didn’t put in an appearance. You know how they are.”

“True.” He sighed. “That’s fine then, tell them whatever. And, ah, enjoy the party.”

“You’ll be alright by the weekend? I was thinking that new movie about the possessed priest -”

“Oh, yeah. Like I said, twenty-four hours, back to normal. Mostly. Might be a bit of ash around the fingertips but I’ll definitely be fine by Saturday.”

“Good,” she said, like they were discussing a brewing cold or sore throat, and not Crowley becoming an eldritch horror for a short period of time. “Alright, well, uh, good luck I guess. Hope it’s not too bad.”

“It’ll be awful, but thanks all the same.”

--

It always started at the stroke of midnight. Crowley and Aziraphale waited for it, knew it was coming, and took up stations where they would both be most comfortable. Aziraphale settled in n the library, books stacked high and at the ready, and an old but serviceable cane leaned up against the side table. Crowley carefully spread a few cheap old blankets over the couch and placed the iPad and his phone in easy reach. Preemptively, they both let their wings out, and Aziraphale took the time to rub some of the ache out of Crowley’s bad wing while his hands were still unfettered by eyeballs.

“We really have to look into fixing this,” he murmured, working the stiff joint of the wrist a little looser and ignoring the way it cracked, bones grinding arthritically. Crowley made a little noise of appreciation. “Even just the joint - I don’t know how we could get the feathers to grow back, but if we could get this wrist less contracted -”

“Can’t be done.” Crowley sighed, and Aziraphale let the wing go, the better to allow the demon to slump sideways into his chest. “Would’ve done it if I could.”

“I know that, dear boy.” He ran his hands down the leading edge of the wing, following the warped bone into Crowley’s shoulder and rubbing the muscle where the limb attached. Crowley sighed again, happily this time. “But I’ve never helped you look for a solution before.”

“S’pose not. Still don’t think there’s much to do about it, though. I mean, short of getting God or Raphael to fix it.” He snorted. “And fat chance of that.”

“I’ll have a look anyway. Perhaps - oh.” 

The clock on the buffet chimed. One, two, three, all the way to midnight. Crowley groaned. “Here we go.”

It wasn’t a painful transformation, but both had scars from the Great War, and the aftereffects weren’t enjoyable. When all was said and done, Aziraphale was leaned back into the couch, massaging his right thigh, and Crowley was carefully extricating himself from the angel’s lap, mindful of the ash raining from his form and Aziraphale’s newly-visible multitude of eyes. Cautious of the eye now in his palm, Aziraphale grabbed the tip of Crowley’s broken halo - horns, now - and guided it away from his wing. “Careful.”

“Sorry.” They exchanged a look. Exasperated, frustrated, but most of all, tired. It wasn’t a terrible trade-off, one day each year, but neither particularly enjoyed the in-between form that Halloween forced, and it had grown old over the years. “I hate this.”

“Me too.” Aziraphale sighed, and closed most of his eyes, although a few along his wings stayed open. “Twenty-four hours.”

“Ugh.” Crowley made a vague gesture, head leaned back over the sofa, eyes closed. “Don’t even feel like doing anything.”

“Take a nap?” Aziraphale suggested. He stood, hobbling from the couch to the chair, and picked a book from the top of the pile. “I’ll be reading.”

“Mm. What book?”

“Oh? Ah.” He didn’t bother to close it again, and instead blinked open the eye on his palm to read the cover. “It’s contemporary.” This was said with the same tone as he might have informed Crowley of a particularly insistent customer in the shop. “But I suppose it was well-reviewed. It’s a signed first edition.” Crowley made an interested little noise. “‘The Da Vinci Code’ by a Dan Brown. Supposedly has a good deal of Bible lore.”

“Haven’t you read that?” The demon looked up, grinning, and Aziraphale didn’t mind the fangs. “C’mon, you can’t have missed that.”

“I didn’t. I’m just getting to it now. Have you read it?”

“Nah. Downloaded it ages ago but then everything happened with the kids and I forgot about it. Meant to, though.”

Aziraphale raised his eyebrows. “I could read aloud, if you’d like. Good a way to spend the next 24 hours as any.”

Crowley hummed. “Can’t say I disagree. If you’re going to read, though, ah, and I don’t need hands -”

“Of course, dear.” There was a relieved hiss, and after a few seconds an enormous black winged snake was draped over the couch, coils heaped on coils to fit on the now-sagging piece of furniture. Leisurely, Crowley slithered forward, off the arm of the couch and across the empty space between there and Aziraphale’s chair. “Come around,” he encouraged, while Crowley draped the front length of himself around Aziraphale’s shoulders, until the tip of his snout was tucked under the angel’s chin, and the length of himself with his wings was resting on the floor, wings splayed out lazily. “Comfortable?”

“Yesss. You?”

“Budge off my right shoulder a bit, there’s a love. Right.” He turned from the title page, and started to read: “Fact: The Priory of Scion - a European secret society founded in 1099 - is a real organization.” He stopped. Frowned.

“Wasss it? Don’t remember that one,” asked the Serpent of Eden.

“I’m fairly certain it was not,” replied the angel of the Eastern Gate. He read on, expression growing more disapproving by the word. “In 1975 Paris's Bibliotheque Nationale discovered parchments known as Les Dossiers Secrets, identifying numerous members of the Priory of Sion, including Sir Isaac Newton, Botticelli, Victor Hugo, and Leonardo da Vinci.’ Well, that’s utter tosh. Who published this pulp?”

Crowley’s forked tongue flicked the tip of his nose, and Aziraphale heard a hissing sort of laugh. “Who caressss? Go on, I want to hear thisss.”

All in all, it was not a bad way to spend 24 hours. By the midway point of chapter one, Aziraphale was so bent out of shape about the inaccuracies that he all but forgot about the ache in his leg, or that Crowley dribbled a little ash onto the rug every time he laughed. At some point, cocoa appeared, and Aziraphale pretended not to notice as Crowley sipped at it, even though the sheer size of his snout made stealth a bit difficult, considering the gentle thunk he made every time he shoved his nose into the cup. The reading went a bit slow, too, considering they had to stop roughly every five paragraphs to criticise something, or point out some inaccuracy, but the interludes were mutually enjoyable, and neither found they minded. 

Ordinarily, Aziraphale would have been able to read a book of that length within 24 hours. It was the reason for the other books settled within easy reach, after all. But when the clock again chimed midnight, and the eyes faded back into the ether, Aziraphale just paused, marked his place with a finger between the pages, and took a sip of fresh, warm tea. “Well, there we are. Another Halloween.”

“Yeah.” Crowley stretched his newly-returned limbs - wings included, he was loath to put them away yet if he didn’t need to, it felt so good to let them breathe now and then - and flopped back onto the couch. “Not the worst I’ve had. Possibly top ten best, actually.”

“This book is dreadful.”

The demon patted the sofa next to him. “Well, yeah, but in a good way. C’mere, I gotta know what happens.” Aziraphale grumbled a little but he obliged, moving over to the couch once again with his usual gait, although he too left his wings out, albeit without the eyes. He settled, and Crowley slouched up against him, a tumbler of scotch suddenly in his hand. “You think they find the Grail?”

“I rather hope not, honestly.” Aziraphale scowled. “It’d be a real shame if he butchered that as well.”

“You know there’s a prequel?”

“No.”

“Honest truth. Called Angels and Demons.” Crowley waved his free hand. “Whole series, actually. Never read any of them.” He raised an eyebrow. “Might be fun?”

“You have a strange definition of fun, Crowley.” Absently, he kissed the top of Crowley’s head, ignoring the way the demon’s hair tickled his face. “Comes with being a demon, I suppose.”

“Comes with having a sense of humor. We should read them.”

“No.”

“Well not right now. Later.” He gestured vaguely. “After I get the garden cleaned up for the winter, maybe.”

“Hm. I’ll have time to read a few palate-cleansers.”

“There’s the spirit.” He snuggled in closer, right wing wrapped around Aziraphale’s shoulders and the left covering himself like some kind of massive feathery blanket. “Go on, let’s see if they get the Grail.”

Aziraphale sighed, defeated and resigned, although Crowley could see the tiny movement well enough to note the little twitch at the corner of the angel’s mouth, almost a smile. “Very well.” 

He turned the page, and kept on reading.

[sher-soc-the-famder]

Empty Table, Empty Stomach

Summary: They promised, over and over again, and no matter how many times they broke it, Patton never stopped hoping.

Word Count: 1099

Warnings: Angst, Implied Eating Disorder, Broken Promises

General Tag List:

@moxieties @bloodropsblog @justanotherpurplebutterfly @dragonangel-funandfire

Read on Ao3

Patton had been working on it for hours but it was finally done.  He took a step back from the table, brushing his hands off on his apron. He grinned, proud of the spread of food he had managed for the day.

The chicken alone, Sticky Ginger Soy Glazed Chicken to be exact, a careful balance of tastes that he thought Logan would enjoy, had taken an hour. Marinated in brown sugar, soy sauce, garlic, ginger, some freshly cracked pepper, and cooking oil, the browned to perfection on the skillet with a patience that would have made sloths weep. Then marinated again, and topped with a green onions and sesame seeds on top of rice on each plate to appeal to Roman’s more visual aesthetic.

Patton had taken the time to arrange a little picture for each of them with the seeds, knowing the white against the darker orange tinted brown would be easily seen. His fingers stung from the burn he had gotten from the still hot chicken, but the smiles on the others’ faces would be worth it!

He had tracked down sides that he thought the others would love, starting with something that looked simple but wasn’t for Logan. Green Beans Two Ways hadn’t been easy for figure out but Patton had figured out the best combination of spices for the surprisingly complex dish.

He had thrown together tarragon, rosemary, lemon zest, and orange zest, all freshly picked from his garden and chopped painstakingly throughout the day. The gremolata came next, seasoned with salt and pepper and set aside for when the beans were ready. And boy, the smell grown on him by then!

He fired up his skillet, and cooked garlic in butter making sure to coat the whole pain as he did so. Tossing the beans had been an adventure! The oil from the butter had popped and gotten little burns on his hand but that was because he was on fire with his cooking! But he had moved on quickly, not wanting to over cook the beans and have them been to stringy, adding in the chicken broth to boil them in.

Once the broth had evaporated he had added the spices, tossing until the fragrant scent of the rosemary had filled the room. Patton handled them carefully onto a plate, lining them up in a sprinkling over them the left over spices. He set the plate down closest to Logan’s spot on the table so that the logical man could reach them the easiest.

For Roman, Patton had made Potato Salad with Green Beans and Salsa Verde. Complex, colorful, tasty, and! It looked as good as the prince himself! Brownie points for being chalk full of vitamins the kiddo would need for his quests.

More seasoning that he needed to chop, combine and let sit. More frying and sauteing. Boiling the beans just enough that they were soft but not falling apart or mushy. Adding half the seasoning to the potatoes, half to the beans and then lining the blossoms up in the bowl so that Roman could admire their bright purple hues.

Getting the golden potatoes that he knew Roman adored costed more than Patton could probably afford, but he knew he would get paid back in ways that couldn’t be counted. They had taken a while to get the hang of compared to their normal potatoes, softer than he was used to but Patton had tried until the new technique had taken root.

And finally for Virgil, simple, perfectly made Creamy Mashed Potatoes. Something simple, something familiar, something that wouldn’t overwhelm the anxious man with a variety of taste. Patton’s arms ached from making sure they would be as smooth and well mixed as possible so that it was to Virgil’s palette.

The cook let some of the stress drop from his shoulders, and let himself shuffle over and slump down into the chair he had set out for himself. The only thing left was to pull the cheesecake from the fridge and top it with the cherries and cherry glaze. But that could wait until the others had arrived and they had eaten as a family.

Patton propped his chin on his hand and waited.

They had promised to make it this time.

They had promised.

The clock behind him chimed, and Patton dozed off to the white noise of the house. A chime from his phone jolted him awake and Patton scrambled to pull it from this pocket. Light flooded the room and he blinked at how dark it had gotten.

Hey, the night shift flaked out again and we need you to come in and cover for the cook

Patton felt his heart sink at the text from his boss, and he glanced around the empty house. He desperately wanted to tell him no, that he had plans for the night, that his family was going to eat dinner together for once, that Patton wasn’t going to miss them again for the millionth time. But the silence of the other rooms taunted him and the cook choked back a sob.

He knew how this went. They others would come home, either to an empty table if Patton had time to clean up before leaving, or to a rapidly cooling meal. Either way, he’d get a flood of apology texts, and the one that would hurt the most would be each of them admitting that they had dinner while they were out but they were sure his cooking was great!! They were suuuuuuper sorry!!

Patton would throw the food out the next morning and no one would question it. He’d ask for another chance, another dinner.

And another and another until maybe the smile on his face didn’t feel so stretched out, didn’t feel so fake. Until the growing empty ache in his chest and stomach went away.

The cook struggled down a surge of resentment and sent his boss an affirmative text.

He struggled to his feet, his own plate untouched and stared at the food for a long aching moment. He ran his hands down his ribs, tracing each ridge before turning his back and heading to work.

He’d eat later, after he’d come home to a dark house and his family asleep upstairs. He’d kick his shoes off his sore feet and pretend that he didn’t want to curl up then and there and never quite wake up. Virgil might be awake, getting a glass of water in the kitchen, and ask how his shift went. Patton will grin.

It went fine.

He was fine.

[itsemmyb]

Twelve Days of Drabbles: Day 7

Christmas Morning

Pairing: Tony Stark x Reader

Summary/Prompt: Christmas Proposals

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1099

A/N: Okay I have three other fics written that will up shortly if tumblr permits.

Twelve Days of Drabbles

A shuffle from the spot on the bed next to you awakens you. You let out a soft grunt, suddenly more aware of the fact that it’s morning. You open one eye to peek at your sleeping boyfriend who is next to you.

You take in a deep breath, opening both your eyes and turning to face him, taking a moment to admire his calm state. The state of his hair was comical, some locks defying the laws of gravity and sticking straight up in the air. His arms were tucked under his pillow as he laid on his stomach. His lips were parted slightly, replacing the silence of the morning with his soft snores.

You loved waking up to the sight of Tony in a deep, peaceful sleep. There was a time when that wasn’t the case. At the start of your relationship he would often wake up, in the middle of the night, in a cold sweat, mumbling about hurting people, how he just wanted to help, and sometimes even about you being hurt. Occasionally these would turn into panic attacks.

What made it even worse for you was the fact that you felt like you couldn’t help him, like you were helpless. Sure you’d be there to hold him, remind him that everything was okay. That he was fine. That you were fine. That it wasn’t his fault. To run your fingers through his hair and press kisses to his forehead until his breaths became more steady. But none of that could prevent the nightmares, and it was the one thing that you hated that you didn’t have control over.

Of course those were the times that he would actually come to bed, the majority of the time he would wake through the entire night, working in the lab.

You smiled as his eyebrows twitched, placing your finger between them and forcing his muscles to relax as they were knitted together. When they do you can’t help the smile that comes to your face, looking at the gorgeous man you’re blessed to call your own.

Not wanting to get out of bed just yet, you let out a soft groan, willing yourself to go back to sleep. It was a particularly cold morning and Tony decided that he’d hog the blanket in the middle of the night when you got up to tend to your baby. Pulling his arm out from under the pillow and lifting it, you tuck yourself into his side and pulling the blanket he had now tossed aside over the two of you.

“Morning dear.” Tony mumbled without opening his eyes, his morning voice deep and gravelly. He placed a kiss on your temple, pulling you closer and turning so that you were laying on top of him, both his arms wrapped around you.

“Morning love, how’d you sleep last night?” You asked, placing your head on his chest and slipping one of your legs between his.

“Great. You?” He smiled, eyes still closed. He was thankful that it was an answer he could truthfully give, Lord knows that a good night’s sleep was all that he wanted after a particularly taxing day of avenging.

“Not good.” You pouted, tilting your head up to look at him. His eyes instantly snap open, scanning you for whatever was wrong, “My boyfriend’s a selfish asshole and so is our daughter.” You laughed pulling your blanket up over you body even more.

Tony instantly sighed, his whole demeanour relaxing at the revelation that you weren’t actually hurt. He continued to play along though, one of his hands moving to your hair and massaging your scalp as the other hugged you tighter, “Aw, what can I do to make it up to my beautiful baby mama?”

“Well you can keep doing that.” You breathed, feeling your body relax as his fingers danced over your head.

“If I keep doing this you’ll fall asleep on me.” He chuckled, not stopping as you stifled a yawn.

“That’s the point.” You said, burying your face in his neck, feeling as his head shifted to look at the time on the clock.

“Fine, but only a few more minutes. The others will be coming over soon.” He complied. You smiled, feeling your eyelids grow heavier and heavier as your breathing deepened. Suddenly the room was filled with the pitter patter of tiny feet on the floor.

“Momma! Dadda! It’s Christmas!” Your four year old exclaimed as she jumped up on your bed.

“Maria Stark there is no need for yelling.” You scolded as you pulled her into your lap.

“Sorry. Merry Christmas momma. Merry Christmas dadda.” She said softer, giving both of you kisses on your cheeks.

“Merry Christmas munchkin!” Tony yelled, pulling her towards him and blowing raspberries on her belly, making her giggle and squirm. When she finally calmed down he placed her in his lap, smiling as she ran her fingers over the arc reactor in his chest.

“Merry Christmas baby.” You whispered, leaning over and giving Tony a peck which was promptly cut off by an ‘Ew!’ coming from Maria.

“Momma can we open presents now?” She asked using her puppy dog eyes, acquired from her father of course.

“Why don’t you go? Me and daddy will be there in a few.” You say, lifting her up and placing her on the ground before she scurries off.

“I love you.” Tony smiles, climbing on top of you.

“I love you more.” You reply wrapping your arms around his neck and giving him a kiss, being less conservative now that you were alone.

“Momma! Dadda!” Your daughter’s voice met your ears from the living room, making you laugh softly as Tony got off you before a cry came from the baby monitor on the nightstand.

“That’s my cue.” You sigh, getting up and making your way to the nursery where your nine month old was. You picked her up from the crib placing a kiss on her head as she stopped crying, making your way to the living room where Tony and Maria were no doubt tearing through presents.

“Dada!” She squealed immediately as she saw Tony, reaching for him.

“Hey bug!” He laughed, taking her and placing kisses all over her face, making her squeal again.

The rest of your morning was spent opening presents and eating Christmas snacks before the other avengers joined you.

[spxderman-s]

Video Chats

requested by michaelsmoustache: could you plz do one that's totally platonic, like best friends since day one, share everything and it could just be cute best friend shit cause i honestly need that rn. thank you, have a good day i love yoi

word count: 1099

pairings: peter parker x reader 

warnings: fluffy as hell, y’all 

a/n: okay so it’s not totally platonic, but its still focused on being bffs with peter which is amazing in itself. i’m sorry it took so long, love!! but i love yoi too. and thank you for being so patient with me!! enjoy, darlingssss

not my gif

“I can’t believe you like Star Trek over Star Wars,” you laughed, playfully shoving your best friend with your shoulder as the two of you walked home from school.

“I like the science!”

“Half of it’s fictional science,” you shot back. “At least I know Star Wars isn’t real.”

Peter Parker sputtered in frustration, his cheeks growing an adorable red. “You and Ned both love to gang up on me about liking Star Trek--it’s what I like!”

You couldn’t help but giggle a little at how worked up he was getting. “Alright, Parker, alright. I’ll drop it.” You walked a few more feet in silence, until you leaned over and whispered, “But Darth Vader is more badass than any Star Trek villain.”

Peter groaned, and gently shoved you away with a hidden smile. You knew he loved the banter--and you never went over the top to explicitly insult his hobbies, even if you thought the were super lame.

He stopped in front of his building, and turned towards you to say goodbye. “Coffee tomorrow morning?”

“If I ever say no to that, shoot me--because I’ve been cloned,” you joked, grinning at him. “Say hi to Aunt May for me, Parker.”

“I will.” Reaching out his hand, you both performed your special handshake, and he disappeared through the doors, smiling. You continued down the street, full of happiness, until you went up to your own apartment, saying hi to your mother and collapsing on the couch.

Peter Parker had been your absolute best friend since grade school, because on the first day you defended him on the playground for drawing his own comic book--something the other kids thought was stupid. Young and innocent, you put your tiny hands on your hips in defiance and told little Peter that he should always do what he loved--no matter what anyone said. And from that day forward, the two of you were inseparable.

It was when you both got to middle school you started telling each other everything that was happening in your life. Puberty, right? Can’t escape all that drama. You had some run-ins with the school mean girls, and he stood up for you for all of them. Likewise, he was having issues with bullies, and you actually got a week’s worth of detention for punching one of them in the jaw for him.

“How was school today, love?” your mother asked from her desk, the clacking of her keyboard not faltering.

“It was alright--long,” came your tired reply.

“What’s Peter up to? I need to talk to May about that book she recommended last week--I finished it already.”

“He’s probably doing homework or something.”

She swiveled her chair around to look at you over the tops of her glasses. “Everything alright with you two?”

“School’s just been up our asses all month,” you replied, casually flipping through your notebook. “We’re gonna get coffee tomorrow morning.”

“Language,” she scolded, and went back to work. “I’ll send her an email.”

You spent the rest of the night doing homework, mindlessly watching the clock on the microwave gradually get later and later into the evening until the sun was long gone. Your phone chimed the merry little tune that belonged to Peter only--startling you out of your daze. Looking down at the screen, he wanted to video chat. You accepted the call, and put on the funniest face you could think of while you waited for it to connect.

“Dude, this homework is killing me, have you--holy shit, what kind of face is that?”

You burst into laughter and adjusted the phone so he could see you properly. “I just finished the homework for Chem--is that what you’re talking about?”

His face on the screen twisted in confusion. “We had Chem homework?”

You covered your eyes with your free hand. “Yes, Parker--what were you talking about?”

“The conversations we had to write out in Spanish!”

“That’s not due until next week, dude.”

An audible sigh escaped him as he held up a packet of paper with words scribbled on them. “I just spent the last two hours writing all of this out.”

“Well,” you tried not to laugh at him, “at least now you’re prepared.”

“Yeah, but now I have to do the homework for Chem that I had no idea about,” he ripped a fresh page of paper out of his notebook and began copying equations from the textbook. “What a trade-off.”

“You can look at mine tomorrow if you want,” you offered. “Compare answers before class.”

“You’re a lifesaver, [Y/N].”

“Here, I’m gonna send you this song I found the other day--I thought of you when I heard it.” You tapped quickly onto the screen, sending him the link.

“New music?” He perked up excitedly when his phone vibrated from your text. “I love that you send me new stuff to listen to.”

“Give that album a listen, if you like that song,” you replied, resting your hand on your chin and gazing at him lovingly. “They sounded right up your alley.”

Certain times, like that moment there, you dwelled on the possibility that you were starting to realize Peter wasn’t that kid on the playground anymore. He had grown into his big ears and goofy grin--replaced by a handsome face and a smile that could break hearts. He wasn’t as scrawny anymore, either. You had no idea when he found the time, but you began to notice his defined biceps during gym, the veins in his arms getting more prominent whenever he flexed.

And whenever you looked at him for too long, an odd feeling would rise up in your stomach, and you would force yourself to look away in embarrassment, cheeks flaming pink.

“[Y/N]?” Peter’s voice brought you out of your thoughts.

You rubbed your eyes, looking at your phone. “Sorry, sorry--it’s been a long day.”

“You should probably get some sleep,” he spoke, concern in his eyes. “Do you still want to get coffee tomorrow?”

You nodded with a shy smile, that odd feeling rising in your stomach again. “Of course, Parker.”

“Call you in the morning then.” Peter grinned, and flashed you Spock’s salute. “Live long and prosper--goodnight, sunshine.”

“Nerd,” you teased, sticking your tongue out at him. “Goodnight, Parker.”

After hitting the end call button, you sat back in your chair in exhaustion, knowing that there’s no possible way you could go to sleep after you finally realized that you had started falling for Peter Parker, at a speed and velocity you didn’t think was possible.

tagging: @tronnoristheotp @nedthegay @i-saved-me @theweirdowithablogo @skymoonandstardust @timemngmtoptimisationproblems @thumper-darling @holywinchesterness @grabyourpolaroidandmyhand @ketterdame @tonight-couldbeforgettable @dimplesandcutesmiles @terrashrone @leorai-lemony-lewa @yoinkpeter 

[workfromhomeyoutuber]

The Cereal School: Rockstar CFO Needed for Multi-Million Dollar CPG Startup

Headquarters: Remote URL: http://thecerealschool.com

We're a fast-growing multi-million dollar CPG startup looking to bring on a rockstar CFO. This is a unique opportunity to bring your expertise in accounting, finance, and HR directly to the founders who work from various locations around the world. This is a dream role designed specifically for a high-achieving, tech-savvy back-office veteran who believes there is more to life than getting a job at a mega-corporation and counting the days until retirement (or layoffs…) You will be in the privileged position to learn from one of the fastest-growing e-commerce companies in the world and find out what makes us successful and help fuel our growth!   We Hire the Best, Regardless of Their Location. 

We run our business from all over the world, and we believe flexibility in where you work leads to better performance and happiness. Performance and attitude is the most important aspect of this job, not clocking hours in the office or water cooler politics. 

Want to set up shop at a coworking space in Lisbon, or put the finishing touches on a deck while sipping coffee at a sidewalk café Buenos Aires? Fine with us.  As long as you can work on a US timezone, we’re cool with it.

Unlike other jobs, we don’t believe that what you do should dictate where you live. 

We’re looking for people who can demonstrate they hold themselves to a higher standard in everything they do, because with great flexibility comes great responsibility.

All this flexibility doesn’t mean we’re not a close-knit team…you’ll have daily meetings and quarterly retreats to make sure we’re growing stronger as a team.

Who This is Not For: 

Someone who thinks that learning is over when school is over.

Someone who is only motivated by a boss telling him or her to work harder.

Someone who doesn’t believe that how you feel on the inside directly correlates with how you perform in life and business.

Duties Include: 

Prepare all monthly closing entries and reconciliations including sales, COGS, inventory, credit cards, etc. 

Process A/P and A/R 

Process bi-weekly payroll 

Cash flow and Budget Projections 

Identify creative financing options 

Provide key metrics for investor deck and internal reports 

Providing guidance for accounting policy and procedure 

Prepare weekly management reports and monthly financial statements 

Maintain insurance coverage 

Human Resource management for small office staff working in various locations 

Corporate compliance 

Maintain W9 & FBEN forms and file Annual Form 1099/1099 

Ideal candidate will: 

Be a leader and lend their voice for a young and growing company.  

Work independently: You will need to be your own problem solver and self manage tasks 

Possess solid experience with software and systems:  Quickbooks Online, Shopify, PayPal, Stripe,  Amazon Merchant, Google, Asana, Bill.com, ADP and 3PL. 

Utilize clear written and verbal communication:  Work with 3rd party vendors, tax accountants, lawyers, bank, broker, etc and provide relevant information to the team  

HOW TO APPLY

No exceptions - in order to apply please provide the following.

1) Write a COVER LETTER addressing the following questions:

a) Why do you think you'd be the “Rockstar CFO” we’re looking for?

Describe why you’re a consistent high-achiever. Give SPECIFIC examples of past achievements and/or accolades related to your successes. 

(TIP) If you literally only had 30 seconds with us in an elevator, what would you say is your biggest accomplishment?

b) What are the last three books you've read?

c) What do you do for fun?

d) Explain what you're doing now for work and why you’re looking elsewhere.

e) To ensure your attention to detail, please include the words “empty bowl” in the subject title of your email.

2) Create ONE document (Word or PDF) that contains both your custom cover letter and your resume. Cover letter first, resume second.

3) Send an email to hiring@thecerealschool.com.

   To apply: hiring@thecerealschool.com

from We Work Remotely: Remote jobs in design, programming, marketing and more https://ift.tt/32jJhh7 from Work From Home YouTuber Job Board Blog https://ift.tt/329on3R

[scrmnviking]

A Timeline of Cultural Reference, Pop and otherwise

A Timeline of Cultural Reference, Pop and otherwise

So, I’ve made some updates to a thing I’ve been working on. Below lies a list of events in chronological order. Most of them are things we (in the US) have heard of or reference in our culture. Some of them are surprising tidbits of trivia. Some are things we Really Should Know More Commonly. And some of it is just fun.

Why? Well, I found myself wondering things like “would Captain Kidd have been able to steal a Ming vase?” or “did the dodo go extinct before or after Harvard was established?” or “when was Sperm Whale oil last used?” Unlike a certain game, I’ve tried to keep to the latest proven dates on record and keep it accurate. The dates for thermometers, for example, changes depending on whether you mean “shows objective temperature change”, “records temperature with a numeric scale”, or “records temperature and is unaffected by barometric pressure differences”.

I tried to be inclusive beyond cis white male, but I know I’m not completely successful. A lot of things aren’t well recorded or documented and some things spread across a large span of time. In other words, if it’s not here, it doesn’t mean it is not important.

Have fun reading and feel free to drop me a note or comment!

MYA 65MYA - Dinosaurs wiped out (except birds) 4MYA - Mostly bipedal 2.6 MYA - Early stone tools

BCE 250,000 BCE - cooking fires (hearths) ~40,000 BCE - clothing     - Neanderthals die out ~30,000 BCE - Chauvet cave paintings ~24,000 BCE - Venus of Willendorf ~10,000 BCE - Agriculture invented ~8,000 BCE - Smilodon Fatalis goes extinct <8700 BCE - Stone Age 5500 BCE - Copper Age - Vinca culture first to process copper 4000-3001 BCE - Papyrus - writing stuff, not the font 4000 BCE - Corn (maize) dispersed into Central America and Columbia 3000-ish BCE - Stonehenge     - Cuneiform script 3300 - 600 BCE - Bronze Age                          - parchment vellum 3250-3000 BCE Taoism 3000 BCE - Kohl (stibnite mixed with fat) used as eye makeup 2560–2540 BCE Great Pyramids of Giza 2558–2532 BCE Sphinx of Giza 2100 BCE - Xia dynasty - first dynasty of China (by tradition) 2000 BCE - isolated pocket of Wooly Mammoths go extinct on Wrangel Island 1800 BCE - Epic of Gilgamesh 1770 BCE - Babylon largest city in world 1754 BCE - Code of Hammurabi 1750 BCE - oldest known written complaint from consumer Nanni to merchant Ea-Nasir, in cuneiform 1556 BCE - Shang dynasty  (or Yin dynasty) of China ruled in Yellow River valley 1500 BCE - Oracle bone script - oldest form of Chinese writing yet found 1400 BCE - Beginnings of Olmec civilization 1323 BCE - King Tutankhamun’s death 1312 BCE - Judaism (Moses given Oral Torah) 1200 BCE - 700 CE Iron Age 1046 BCE - Shang dynasty ended, Zhao dynasty began (China) 753 BCE - Rome founded 495 BCE - Pythagorean theorem (Pythagoras dies. Unrelated) 480 BCE - Battle of Thermopylae (“300” was based on it) 475 BCE - Royal Road of the Persian Empire (precursor to the Silk Road) 470-399 BCE - Socrates - Socratic method - break a problem down into a series of questions. Sentenced to drink hemlock. 460-370 BCE - Hippocrates - Doctor’s oath (Do No Harm) 450 BCE - Buddhism founded 428-337 BCE - Plato - Allegory of the Cave 350 BCE - Olmecs decline 385 BCE - Plato founds Academy - first university 4th Cent BCE - gears - China 384-322 BCE - Aristotle - founder formal logic 370 BCE - death of Hippocrates of Kos - father of medicine 356-323 BCE - Alexander the Great 321 BCE - Serpent Mound in Adams county, OH built (Adena culture) 300 BCE - “Elements” Euclid - Euclidean geometry, geometric algebra, finding square root 287-212 BCE - Archimedes (“Eureka!” - displacement) 230 BCE - Aristarchus of Samos dies (heliocentrism, sun a star) 221 BCE - Qin Shi Huang united warring kingdoms  and became emperor of Qin dynasty, beginning Imperial China 218 BCE - Hannibal marches elephants over the Alps in the 2nd Punic War 209 BCE - Terracotta Army buried with Qin Shi Huang 196 BCE - Rosetta Stone carved 150 BCE - Seleucus of Seleucia theorizes cause of tides is the Moon 120 BCE - The Silk Road connects Europe with China 100 BCE - Antikythera mechanism (analog computer to calculate planet position) Teotihuacan established 48 BCE - burning of Library at Alexandria 44 BCE - Et tu, Brute? - Julius Caesar killed

CE

1st Cent 1 - Lions extinct in Western Europe 43 - Londinium (London, England) established 64 - Great Fire of Rome (the one to which Nero supposedly fiddled) 70 - Christianity Founded/separated from Judaism (destruction of the Second Temple) 79 - Mount Vesuvius buries Pompeii 80 - Colosseum of Rome built (finished)

2nd Cent 105 - Paper Invented - China 122 - Hadrian’s Wall started, largely completed in 6 years 132 - Seismometer - Zhang Heng

3rd Cent 200 - Kama Sutra compendium collected 220 - Three Kingdoms era start Kongming lanterns (unmanned hot air balloon signals - think Tangled lights) ~250 - Teotihuacan monuments construction finished 280 - Three Kingdoms era end

4th Cent 300 - probably earliest habitation of Hawaiian islands 313 - Christianity legalized in Roman Empire by Constantine I “Edict of Milan” 322 - the stirrup - China 325 - First Council of Niceaea (Niceaen Creed - compilation of the Bible) called by Constantine the Great 380 - Theodosius issues “Cuncto populos” aka “Edict of Thessalonica” - Nicene Trinitarian Christianity only legitimate imperial religion and only one to entitled to call itself Catholic. Also ended state support for polytheistic religions and customs.

5th Cent 407 - Rome’s withdrawal from Britain 410 - Rome sacked by Visigoths 434 - Attila the Hun started ruling the Huns 453 - Attila the Hun dies 455 - Rome sacked by Vandals 476 - Rome fell 477/495 - Chan Buddhists found Shaolin Monastery Late - Legendary King Arthur leads defense of Britain against Saxons

6th Cent Backgammon invented in Persia by Burzoe early - Zen Buddhism enters Vietnam from China 525 - Scythian monk Dionysius Exiguus invents Anno Domini era calendar ~550 - Teotihuacan major monuments sacked and burned 581-618 - Shaolin Kung Fu formed (Shaolin Luohan’s 18 hands) 589 - first documented use of toilet paper - China

7th Cent Sutton Hoo ship burial 628 - Concept of zero in mathematics, India 632 - Islam/ Death of Muhammed 650 - Chinese Paper money issued 670 - “Greek fire” invented

8th Cent Picts of Scotland design first European triangular harp 770 - iron horseshoes in common use 771 - Charlemagne, King of the Franks 790 - Viking Age begins

9th Cent early - ”The Book of the Tale of the Thousand Nights" oldest manuscript fragments 800 - Charlemagne founds Carolingian Empire 800 - Book of Kells created 800 - Soap being made in Spain and Italy 814 - Charlemagne dies 841 - Dublin founded by Vikings

10th Cent Norse become Normans decline of Mayans, rise of Toltecs Erik the Red founded Greenland Hops first mentioned in beer brewing 904 - Fire Arrows used in China, i.e. arrows with gunpowder 958 - 986 - Harald Bluetooth’s reign - Introduced Christianity to Denmark and consolidated rule over most of Jutland and Zealand (Bluetooth computer protocol named after him)

11th Cent 1000 - “Kitab Al-Tasrif” (The Method of Medicine) - Arabic encyclopedia on medicine and surgery - Abu Al Qasim al-Zahrawi (Abulcasis) 1001 - Leif Eriksson establish settlements around Vinland, North America 1025 - “Beowulf” 1025 - 1120 - colonization of Society Islands (Eastern Polonesia) 1066 - Viking Age ended 1066 - Battle of Hastings, Norman conquest of England 1086 - Domesday Book - William I of England 1090 - Hassan al Sabbah takes over Almut, establishes the so-called hashashin (Assassins cf. Assassin’s Creed) 1095 - First Crusade start 1098 - Siege of Antioch (first siege by crusade against a Muslim-held city) 1099 - First Crusade end

12th Distillation of alcohol- School of Salerno 1100 - Paper arrives in Europe 1100–1680 - Moai Carved (Rapa Nui/Easter Island statues) 1119 - Knights Templar established 1120 - White Ship Disaster leads to succession crisis in England 1150 - Angkor Wat built 1168 - decline of the Toltecs 1170 - Thomas Becket, Archbishop of Canterbury, killed 1183 - Henry II (when “Lion in Winter” is supposed to have occurred) 1189 - Third Crusade led by Richard the Lionhearted 1190 - 1290 second wave of Eastern Polynsia colonization (including Hawaii and New Zealand) 1194 - Robin Hood era - when King Richard removed John the Usurper from the throne

13th Cent 1200 - England soapmaking begins 1200 - Easter Island settled 1202 - “Liber Abaci” Leonardo “Fibonacci” Bonacci - introduced Hindu-Arabic numeral system to West along with Fibonacci numbers 1206 - Ghengis Khan reign start 1206 - Mongol Empire started 1215 - Magna Carta signed 1220 - “Prose Edda” - Snorri Sturluson 1227 - Ghengis Khan reign end 1240 - Mongol Empire conquers Kievan Rus 1258 - Mongol seige of Baghdad (House of Wisdom destroyed) 1260 - Kublai Khan reign starts 1271 - Marco Polo went to the Orient 1271 - Kublai Khan establishes Yuan dynasty 1274 - “Summa Theologiae” - St. Thomas Aquinus 1286 - Eyeglasses invented (prob. Venice) 1294 - Kublai Khan reign end (death) 1295 - Marco Polo came back from the Orient

14th Cent 1300 - “Travels of Marco Polo” published (depicting the time 1271-1295) 1300 - Mechanical Escapement clocks in England 1300 - rise of the Aztecs 1305 - William Wallace hanged, drawn, and quartered (Braveheart) 1320 - “Divine Comedy” - Dante Alighieri 1337 - Mongol Empire ended 1337 - Hundred Years War start 1346 - Black Plague start 1347 - Occam’s Razor 1353 - Black plague end 1368 - End of Mongol Yuan Dynasy, Beginning of Ming Dynasty (like the vase. Wait for it)

15th Cent 1400 - “Canterbury Tales” - Geoffrey Chaucer 1415 - Battle of Agincourt (memorialized in Shakespeare’s St. Crispin’s Day speech) 1417 - Public illumination via oil lamps, London 1420-ish Donatello brings the Putto/Cupid figure back 1429 - Joan of Arc ends Siege of Orleans and turns tide of Hundred Years War 1431 - Joan of Arc killed 1434 - “Arnolfini Portrait” Jan van Eyck 1450-ish - Machu Picchu constructed Silk Road declines 1453 - Hundred Years War end 1455 - War of the Roses start (basis for GoT) 1456 - Guttenberg Bible printed - invention of moveable type 1458 - Vlad the Impaler (Dracul) got his name impaling Saxons 1464 - 87 - Ming Dynasty Vases - Chenghua and Xuande era 1480 - Spanish Inquisition gets underway 1485 - Iga and Koga clan ninjas hired by daimyos (record that ninjas are ‘a thing’) 1485 - “Vitruvian Man” - Leonardo DaVinci 1486 - “The Birth of Venus” Sandro Botticelli 1487 - War of the Roses end 1492 - Columbus lands in San Salvador 1494 - “Summa de arithmetica, geometria proportioni et proportionalita” - double-entry system of accounting codified - Friar Luca Pacioli 1494 - Scotch Whisky being produced 1495-1498 - “The Last Supper” - Leonardo DaVinci 1499 - Vasco da Gama returns to Lisbon, having gone around the Cape of Good Hope and finding the route to India

16th Cent Coffee reaches Middle East, Persia, and Turkey from Mocha (yes, seriously) 1502 - Montezuma (Moctezuma II) starts reign  Aztec calendar stone aka Sun Stone carved (probably) 1503/7 - “Mona Lisa” - Leonardo DaVinci 1504 - “David” - Michelangelo 1509 - Henry VIII reign start 1510 - “School of Athens” Raphael (Sanzio da Urbino) 1512 - “Sistine Chapel” - Michelangelo 1513 - “The Prince” - Machiavelli 1515 - “Garden of Earthly Delights” Hieronymus Bosch 1516 - “Utopia” Thomas More 1517 - “95 Theses” - start of Reformation - Martin Luther 1519 - Magellan sets out to circumnavigate globe 1519 - Spanish conquest of Aztec Empire starts - Hernan Cortez 1521 - Magellan killed in Phillipines 1521 - Spanish conquest of Aztec Empire ends 1522 - Magellans ships circumnavigate globe 1523 - Cacao bean (chocolate) introduced to Span - Hernan Coretes 1540 - Coronado expedition start: Mexico to Kansas - sees Grand Canyon, Colorado River, bison herds, Rio Grande 1542 - Coronado expedition end 1542 - Mary, Queen of Scots reign start 1543 - Heliocentric model - Nicolaus Copernicus 1543 - printed descriptions and illustrations of human dissections - “De humani corporis fabrica” - Andreas Vesalius 1547 - Henry VIII reign end 1547 - Ivan the Terrible reign start 1548 - Tomato comes to Italy (first mention in writing, pom d’oro ‘golden apple’) 1555 - “Les Propheties” Nostradamus 1558 - Elizabeth I reign start 1559 - “Institutes of the Christian Religion” - John Calvin “Calvinism” 1561 - Garamond dies (his lettersets for typeface sold off) 1569 - Mercator projection map - Gerardus Mercator 1581 - last record of Iga and Koga clan ninjas hired by daimyos 1582 - Gregorian calendar - Pope Gregory XIII 1584 - Ivan the Terrible reign end (death) 1587 - Mary, Queen of Scots reign end (forced abdication) 1589 - Stocking frame - mechanical knitting machine - William Lee of Calverton 1589 - Potato introduced to Ireland by Sir Walter Raleigh 1590 - Roanoke colony found abandoned 1590/7 - “A Midsummer Night’s Dream” - William Shakespeare 1592 - “The Tragical History of the Life and Death of Doctor Faustus” - Christopher Marlowe 1593 - Grace O’ Malley (the Pirate Queen) petitions Elizabeth I for the release of her sons 1597 - “Romeo and Juliet” - William Shakespeare 1599/1602 - “Hamlet” - William Shakespeare

17th Cent Clothing irons (flat irons/sad irons) 1600 - “On the Magnet and Magnetic Bodies, and on the Great Magnet the Earth” - Earth itself is magnetic, has iron core - William Gilbert 1603 - Elizabeth I reign end (death) 1605 - Gunpowder plot (Guy Fawkes) 1606 - First European landing in Australia (Dutch) 1607 - James Fort (Jamestown, VA) est. 1609 - Kepler’s Law of Planetary motion, 1 and 2 - Johannes Kepler 1614 - “Mirifici Logarithmorum Canonis Descriptio” - natural logarithms - John Napier 1615 - “Don Quixote” - Miguel de Cervantes Saavedra 1619 - Kepler’s 3rd Law of Planetary motion 1620 - Plymouth colony founded 1622 - Founding of the French Musketeers of the Guard (they carried muskets) 1628 - “De motu cordis” - William Harvey - blood circulates, with the heart acting as a pump 1631 - Quinine (i.e. cinchona bark) used to treat malaria in Rome 1636 - Harvard establised 1637 - Cogito ergo sum - Rene Descartes 1637 - Cartesian coordinate system - Rene Descartes 1638 - thermometer (thermoscope with scale) Robert Fludd 1642 - “The Night Watch” Rembrandt 1643 - Taj Mahal built 1644 - End of Ming Dynasty 1645 - “The Book of Five Rings” - Miyamato Musashi 1645 - mechanical calculator - Blaise Pascal 1650 - Caribbean piracy era start 1654 - thermometer not also a barometer - Ferdinando II de Medici 1656 - Pendulum clock - Christiaan Huygens 1661 - “The Sceptical Chymist” - Robert Boyle - beginning of molecular theory in chemistry i.e. aggregates of bonded chemicals 1662 - Last reliable sighting of dodo bird 1663 - Captain Henry Morgan probably starts career as privateer 1665 - “Girl with a Pearl Earring” Johannes Vermeer 1666 - Great Fire of London 1671 - Capt Morgan attacks Panama. Gets arrested, stops privateering 1676 - speed of light measured (triangulation w/ Jupiter) Ole Romer (-25% of actual) 1677 - huge femur found, thought to be giant, but probably a dinosaur 1677 - Microbiology - Antoine van Leeuewenhook The Microscope and discovery (protists - 1674, bacteria -1683, spermatozoa - 1677, Royal Society acceptance 1677, elected to RS 1680) 1680 - Pocket watch with minute hand 1680 - Kirch’s/Newton’s/Great Comet of 1680 - first comet discovered by telescope 1687 - Laws of Motion, Laws of universal Gravitation, Calculus - Sir Issac Newton 1690 - Pendulum clocks accurate enough for minute hand 1690 - Dodo goes extinct, statistically calculated 1692/3 - Salem witch trials 1692 - Tomatoes in Italian recipe book 1695 - Captain Kidd sets out to catch pirates with a letter of marque 1696 - Peter the Great becomes tsar of Russia 1697 - “Tales and Stories of the Past with Morals: Tales of Mother Goose” - Charles Perrault, created fairy tale genre from folk tales

18th Cent most of Europe uses the fork Xocolatl a popular beverage in Europe (chocolate) 1701 - Captain Kidd hanged for piracy 1703 - “Explanation of Binary Arithmetic” - Gottfried Liebnitz 1705 - Edmund Halley calculates the orbit of his comet 1706 - “The Arabian Nights Entertainment” - English edition of One Thousand and One Nights 1716 - Blackbeard active 1718 - Blackbeard killed 1724 - Fahrenheit thermometer - Daniel Gabriel Fahrenheit 1725 - Caribbean piracy era end 1725 - Catherine the Great becomes Empress of Russia (Peter’s death) 1726 - “Gulliver’s Travels” - Jonathan Swift 1727 - speed of light value refined (stellar aberation) and more accepted - James Bradley 1727 - Catherine the Great dies 1735 - “Systema Naturae” - taxonomy - Carl Linnaeus 1739 - Pleistocene fossils collected for study at Big Bone Licky, KY - Charles LeMoyne de Longueui 1742 - Celsius thermometer - Anders Celsius 1754 - French and Indian War start (part of the Seven Years’ War) 1755 - first scientific paper on natural rubber (native to South America) published - Francois Fresneau 1763 - French and Indian War end (part of the Seven Years’ War) 1770 - rubber named for being good at “rubbing off” pencil marks from paper - Joseph Priestly 1773 - the name Santa Claus first used in American press 1775 - American War for Independence start 1776 - Declaration of Independence 1778 - first practical flush toilet - Joseph Bramah 1778 - James Cook arrived in the Hawaiian Islands 1781 - Articles of Confederation - DE, PA, NJ, GA, CT, MA, MD, NC, SC, NH, VA, NY, RI become states 1781 - Watt steam engine - James Watt 1783 - American War for Independence end 1783 - First manned hot air balloon flight - Joseph-Michel and Jacques-Etienne Montgolfier 1785 - modern parachute invented and named - Louis-Sebastien Lenormand 1786 - “The Marriage of Figaro” Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart 1788 - US Constitution ratified 1788 - British establish penal colony in Botany Bay (Australia) 1789 - French Revolution starts 1789 - “Elementary Treatise of Chemistry” - Antoine-Laurent de Lavoisier - first chemistry textbook 1790 - HMS Bounty burned by mutineers 1791 - Bill of Rights ratified 1791 - VT becomes state 1792 - KY becomes state 1792 - Old Farmer’s Almanac published - oldest continuously published North American periodical 1794 - Cotton Gin - Eli Whitney 1795 - Metric system established 1795 - Kamehameha the Great establishes the Kingdom of Hawaii 1796 - Mastodon and Megatherium established as extinct animals (development of comparative anatomy & history of paleontology) - Georges Cuvier 1796 - Homeopathy - Samuel Hahnemann - idiocy clings, don’t it? 1796 - TN becomes state 1796 - Lithography - Alois Senefelder (actor - cheap method of publishing theatrical works) 1798 - smallpox vaccine (cowpox) - Edward Jenner 1799 - Rosetta Stone discovered 1799 - French Revolution ends, Napoleon takes Power

19th Cent 1800 - “Noah’s Raven” footprints (theropod dinosaur prints) found in MA 1800 - first true battery, the voltaic pile - Alessandro Volta 1801 - Barbary Coast War (Barbary pirates) start 1803 - Louisiana Purchase 1803 - Napoleonic Wars start 1803 - OH becomes state 1804 - Lewis and Clark Expedition start 1805 - Battle of Derna (source of “shores of Tripoli” verse in Marine’s Hymn) 1805 - Barbary Coast War end 1806 - Lewis and Clark Expedition end 1807 - Thomas Jefferson sent first paleontology expedition to Big Bone Lick, KY 1807 - Public street lighting via gas - Pall Mall, London 1808 - Symphony No. 5 - Ludwig von Beethoven 1810 - King Kamehameha unified the Hawaiian islands 1811 - “Sense and Sensibility” Jane Austen 1811 - first practical railway locomotive - John Blenkinsop 1811 - Ichthyosaurs fossil discovered by Mary Anning. Key evidence for extinction (it was believed that if God’s creation was perfect, then extinction couldn’t exist) 1812 - Extinction (the fact that animals can go extinct) established as a fact - Georges Cuvier 1812 - LA becomes state 1812 - “Children’s and Household Tales” - Brothers Grimm 1812 - War of 1812 start 1813 - “Pride and Prejudice” Jane Austen 1814 - “Star-Spangled Banner” - Francis Scott Key 1814 - Burning of Washington - British (Canadians) raze DC 1815 - War of 1812 end 1815- “Emma” Jane Austen 1815 - Battle of Waterloo 1815 - Napoleonic Wars End 1816-1828 Zulu empire under Shaka 1816 - IN becomes state 1817 - “The Animal Kingdom” - sets out to describe structure of animal kingdom based on comparative anatomy - Georges Cuvier 1817 - MS becomes state 1818 - “Frankenstein; or The Modern Prometheus” - Mary Shelley 1818 - “Silent Night” Franz Xaver Gruber, lyrics Joseph Mohr 1818 - IL becomes state 1819 - AL becomes state 1819 - stove top percolating coffee pot - Laurens 1819 - “Rip Van Winkle” - Washington Irving 1820 - ME becomes state 1820 - electric current through a wire produces magnetic field - Hans Christian Ørsted 1820 - “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” - Washington Irving 1821 - MO becomes state 1823 - Difference Engine (calculator) proposed and funded for construction - Charles Babbage 1823 - “A Visit from St. Nicholas” aka “Twas the Night Before Christmas” 1823 - Fresnel lens used in lighthouse - Augustin-Jean Fresnel 1824 - First Dinosaur fossil named 1824 - “Don Juan” - Lord Byron (postumously) 1825 - Erie Canal opens for business 1829 - Neanderthal fossils discovered 1830 - first rail travel in US on Baltimore Ohio railroad, “Tom Thumb” 1830 - friction matches commercially available 1830 - Mary Anning discovers nearly complete Plesiosaur skeleton 1830-ish Burned-over district produces Mormons, 7th Day Adventists, Jehovah’s Wintesses, Oneida Society and others. 1831 - The Trail of Tears starts - Southeastern Native Americans forcibly relocated past the Mississippi 1833 - “The Great Wave off Kanagawa” -Hokusai 1834 - Spanish Inquisition officially ended 1834 - first ‘real’ electric motor (capable of actually doing work) - Thomas Davenport 1835 - Texas Rangers established 1836 - Texas independence from Mexico 1836 - AR becomes state 1837 - Start of Queen Victoria’s reign 1837 - MI becomes state 1837 - “Fairy Tales” - Hans Christian Andersen (Little Mermaid, Thumbelina, Emperor’s New Clothes, Princess and the Pea) 1838 - First telegraph “WHAT HATH GOD WROUGHT” in Morse Code 1838 - “Oliver Twist” - Charles Dickens 1839 - First Opium War starts (Britain forcing China to buy opium) 1839 - Vulcanization of rubber - Charles Goodyear 1840 - Saxophone - Adolphe Sax 1840 - Adhesive postage stamp “Penny Black” UK 1842 - First algorithm written for Babbage’s Analytical Engine aka first program for first computer - Ada Lovelace 1842 - First Opium War ends 1843 - “A Christmas Carol” - Charles Dickens 1843- “The Tell-Tale Heart” - Edgar Allen Poe 1844 - “The Three Musketeers” - Alexandre Dumas 1845 - “The Little Match Girl” - Hans Christian Andersen 1845 - NY Nicks play modern baseball 1845 - FL becomes state 1845 - TX becomes state 1845 - Fredrick Douglass publishes autobiography 1845 - Faraday rotation - interaction btwn light and magnetic field: light and electromagnatism related - Michael Faraday 1845 - “The Raven” - Edgar Allen Poe 1845 - Irish Potato Famine start 1846 - Mexican-American War start 1846 - IA becomes state 1846 - Neptune first observed - Johann Gottfried Galle 1847 - “The Mathematical Analysis of Logic” - Boolean logic - Charles Boole 1847 - Battle of Chapultepec - source of “halls of Montezuma” in Marine’s Hymn 1848 - Mexican-American War end (Treaty of Guadalupe Hidalgo) 1848 - Gold Rush in California 1848 - WI becomes state 1848 - Oneida Community est. (complex marriage, stirpiculture, mutual criticism, etc - too much to go into, but really, look it up) 1849 - speed of light measured on Earth - Hippolyte Fizeau (+5%) 1849 - Harriet Tubman escapes slavery. Starts conducting on Underground Railroad 1850 - CA becomes state 1850 - “The Scarlet Letter” - Nathaniel Hawthorne 1850 - Trail of Tears ends 1851 - “Moby Dick” - Herman Melville 1851 - “Ain’t I A Woman?” speech by Sojourner Truth 1852 - Irish Potato Famine End 1853 - US Warships demand Japan open to the West. Or else. 1854 - Florence Nightengale introduced modern nursing to the Crimean War 1855 - Cholera outbreak in London - germ theory - John Snow - dismissed as too depressing 1855 - End of California Gold Rush 1856 - 1860 Second Opium War 1856 - Neanderthal 1 fossil specimen discovered in Neandertal, western Prussia (Germany) 1857 - modern commercially available toilet paper introduced - Joseph Gayetty 1858 - fermentation caused by bacteria (yeast) - Louis Pasteur 1858 - MN becomes state 1859 - “Origin of Species” - Charles Darwin 1859 - Pennsylvania oil rush 1859 - OR becomes state 1859 - Big Ben of Clock/Elizabeth Tower 1859 - lead-acid battery - first rechargeable (by sending a reverse current through) - Gaston Plante 1860 - “Paul Revere’s Ride” - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow 1860 - continuous DC power from a dynamo - Antonio Pacinotti 1861 - KS becomes state 1861 - Start of American Civil War 1862 - “Les Miserables” - Victor Hugo 1863 - WV becomes state 1864 - NV becomes state 1864 - H.L. Hunley - first military submarine to sink enemy vessel 1864 - William King recognizes Neanderthal 1 as sample of separate species. Gives them the name “homo neanderthalensis” 1865 - End of American Civil War 1865 - Pasteurization invented (patented) - Louis Pasteur 1866 - Winchester rifle 1867 - 1894 “Das Kapital” Karl Marx 1867 - carbolic acid used to sterilize surgical wounds - Joseph Lister - father of modern surgery/antiseptic surgery - Listerine named in his honor 1867 - NB becomes state 1869 - “War and Peace” - Leo Tolstoy 1869 - Whirlwind vacuum cleaner - Ives W. McGaffey 1869 - Periodic table - Dmitri Ivanovich Mendeleev 1869 - Transcontinental Railroad completed 1870 - “20,000 Leagues Under the Sea” - Jules Verne 1870 - Black men get the vote 1871 - “Descent of Man” - Charles Darwin 1871 - “Whistler’s Mother” - James Whister 1871 - Great Chicago Fire, unjustly blamed on Mrs. O’Leary’s cow 1871 - Germany becomes a country 1872 - Colt Single Action Army revolver/ Peacemaker 1873 - Alleged steam drill and John Henry contest 1873 - Beginning of the “Long Depression” aka the great depression before the Great Depression 1873 - “A Treatise on Electricity and Magnetism” James Clerk Maxwell - showed electromagnatism is one force, not two 1873 - Levi Strauss patents blue jeans 1875 - William Denton first to describe fossils from the La Brea Tar Pits 1876 - Battle of Little Bighorn aka Custer’s Last Stand 1876 - Budweiser (Anheiser-Busch) first brewed 1876 - “The Adventures of Tom Sawyer” - Mark Twain 1876 - California Oil boom (well #4 Pico Canyon Oilfield) 1876 - CO becomes state 1876 - rubber plant seeds smuggled out of Brazil to Kew Gardens - Henry Wickham 1876 - Alexander Graham Bell patents the telephone 1877 - Billy the Kid starts life of crime 1879 - End of the “Long Depression” aka the great depression before the Great Depression 1879 - Edison demonstrates the incandescent light bulb 1881 - Billy the Kid dies 1881 - Gunfight at the O.K. Corral 1881 - Oneida Community dissolved and eventually becomes Oneida Ltd silverware 1883 - “Treasure Island” - Robert Louis Stevenson 1883 - Cataclysmic eruption of Krakatoa in Indonesia 1884 - “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” - Mark Twain 1884 - “A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jette” Georges Seurat 1885 - rabies post-exposure vaccine - Louis Pasteur 1886 - modern automobile, Karl Benz 1886 - Chicago Haymarket Massacre - striking for an 8 hour workday, anarchists bomb the demonstration 1886 - Coca-Cola, a non-alcoholic version of French Wine Coca nerve tonic sold 1886 - Statue of Liberty dedicated 1887 - “A Study In Scarlet” - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle - First appearance of Sherlock Holmes 1887 - Electromagnetic waves proved to exist (radio waves produced) - Heinrich Hertz 1888 - London matchgirl strike - health conditions, against use of white phosphorous, phossy jaw 1888 - Jack the Ripper murders in Whitechapel 1888 - Induction motor (AC) - Nikola Tesla 1889 - ND, SD, MT, and WA become states 1889 -“Starry Night” - Van Gough 1890 - ID and WY become states 1890 - “Picture of Dorian Gray” - Oscar Wilde 1890 - The Wounded Knee Massacre - end of the Indian Wars 1891 - Basketball created - Dr. James Naismith (Canadian) 1892 - Axe murders of Lizzie Borden’s parents 1892 - “The Nutcracker” - Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky 1892 - Bottle cap invented 1893 - HH Holmes Murder Castle at the Chicago World’s Columbian Exposition 1893, 95, 1910 Edvard Munch’s “The Scream” (4 versions, 2 pastel, 2 paintings) 1893 - Michael Ahren admits he made up the O’Leary cow story 1893 - The Mendenhall Order - formal announcement of a de facto change in the US Office of Weights and Measures which switched from US Customary to Metric 1893 - Zipper invented 1895 - O’Leary “died heartbroken”, still being blamed for the fire 1895 - “The Importance of Being Earnest” - Oscar Wilde 1895 - “The Time Machine” - H.G. Wells 1895 - X-rays produced - Wilhelm Rontgen 1895 - first X-ray image (radiograph) produced - Wilhelm Rontgen 1896 - Oedipus complex - Sigmund Freud 1896 - end of the Long Depression 1896 - UT becomes state 1896 - Klondike Gold Rush 1896 - Marconi radio “wireless telegraphy” 1896 - “La tournee du Chat Noir de Rodolphe Salis” - Theophile Steinlen 1896 - Plessy v Ferguson - Supreme Court says segregation is OK 1897 - “Dracula” - Bram Stoker 1897 - “The Invisible Man” - H.G. Wells 1898 - “The War of the Worlds” - H.G. Wells 1898 - Spanish-American War (3 mo) 1898 - Polonium, radium, radioactivity discovered and named - Marie Curie 1898 - ‘Campaign Watch’ - wristwatch for soldiers in Sudan campaign (wristwatch becomes a ‘thing’) 1898 - George Washington Carver starts issuing bulletins about crop rotation, peanut products, and other agricultural innovations 1899 - End of Klondike Gold Rush 1899 - Harry Houdini’ career start 1899 - Boxer Rebellion 1899 - Bayer selling aspirin around the world

20th Cent 1900 - “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz” - Frank L Baum 1901 - Australia becomes a federation 1901 - Boxer Rebellion 1901 - End of Queen Victoria’s reign (death) 1901 - Picasso starts Blue Period 1901 - Spindletop oil find in TX, start of TX oil boom 1903 - Wright Brothers Flight 1903 - “Great Train Robbery” Edwin Porter 1903 - “Dogs Playing Poker” C.M. Coolidge 1903 - “The Experimental Psychology and Psychopathology of Animals” - Ivan Pavlov (Pavlov’s Dogs) 1904 - Western tea bags sold commercially 1905 - Special Relativity - Einstein 1905 - First pizzeria in US opens in NY 1906 - Claude Monet - “Water Lilies” 1906 - San Francisco Earthquake 1907-08 Gustav Klimpt “The Kiss” 1907 - OK becomes states 1908 - Model T 1910 - “The Phantom of the Opera” - Gaston Leroux 1910 - Annie Jump Cannon’s star classification system becomes de facto standard 1912 - first Tarzan book published 1912 - AZ and NM become states 1912 - Titanic sank 1912 - Scoville Organoleptic Test - to rate pungency of chili pepper - William Scoville 1913 - LA County museum given sole right to excavate fossils from La Brea Tar Pits for 2 years 1913 - First moving assembly line - Henry Ford 1913 - Harriet Tubman dies 1914 - WWI begins 1914 - Backless brassiere - Mary Phelps Jacob (who had a dog named Clytoris) 1914 - Panama Canal opens 1915 - General relativity - Einstein 1915 - Ghandi’s struggle for Indian Independence 1915 - “Birth of a Nation” DW Griffith 1915 - hand held hair dryers hit market 1916 - “The Planets” - Gustav Holst (“Mars” is the music you hear in about 30% of action movie trailers) 1917 - America Joins WWI 1917 - Russian Revolution 1917 - Goodyear starts producing airships (beginning of the Goodyear blimps) 1917-1937 H.P. Lovecraft writes 1918 - WW I ends 1919 - Prohibition starts 1920 - Women’s Sufferage in the US 1920 - Band-Aid - Earle Dickson of Johnson & Johnson 1921 - Charlie Chaplin’s “The Kid” 1922 - USSR formed 1923 - King Tut’s tomb opened 1924 - J. Edgar Hoover becomes Director of what will be the FBI 1924 - Caesar salad supposedly invented (Caesar Cardini) 1924 - Kleenex 1925 - Tennessee bans teaching evolution - Scopes Monkey Trial 1925 - Al Capone becomes mob boss 1926 - “Call of Cthulu” H.P. Lovecraft 1926 - Houdini dies 1927 - Heisenberg’s Uncertainty principle 1927 - “The Jazz Singer” first feature length movie with talking sequences 1927 - First widely owned refridgerator 1928 - Penicillin discovered 1928 - Sliced bread 1928 - “Treachery of Images” - Rene Magritte 1928 - “Propaganda” Edward Bernays 1929 - Stock market crash starting the Great Depression 1929 - Charles Atlas and the “Insult that made a man out of Mac” advertisement (97lb weakling sand-in-face) 1930 - Penicillin first treats patient 1930 - Pluto discovered 1930 - “American Gothic” - Grant Wood 1930 - Scotch Tape introduced - 3M 1930 - First Twinkie 1931 - “Persistance of Memory” Salvador Dali 1931 - “Star Spangled Banner” made national anthem 1931 - Jackie Mitchell, a 17-year-old girl, strikes out Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig 1932 - Electric guitar put into production “Frying Pan” Ro-Pat-In 1932 - First “Conan the Barbarian” story, “The Phoenix on the Sword” 1932 - Al Capone sent to prison 1932 - Bonnie and Clyde start crime spree 1932 - Times New Roman released 1933 - “The Lone Ranger” first radio broadcast 1933 - “King Kong” 1933-4 John Dillenger’s active crime time 1933 - Prohibition ends 1934 - Flash Gordon comic strip start 1934 - “Surgeon’s Photo” of Loch Ness Monster, faked - Col. Robert Wilson 1934 - Alcatraz opened 1934 - Bonnie and Clyde killed 1935 - Schrodinger’s cat thought experiment - Erwin Schrodinger 1936 - “How to Win Friends and Influence People” - Dale Carnegie - first best-selling self-help book 1937 - Cobb salad invented (Robert Cobb/Chuck Wilson) 1937 - “Guernica” - Picasso 1937 - Hindenburg disaster 1937 - “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” - first feature length cel animated film 1937 - “The Hobbit” - JRR Tolkien 1937 - SPAM introduced by Hormel 1937 - Hindenburg disaster 1938 - first Superman comic 1938 - “Our Town” - Thorton Wilder 1939 - WWII begins 1939-1944 - Penicillin mass produced 1939 - Heinkel He 178 V1, the first turbojet aircraft to fly 1939 - “Batman” Bob Kane 1939 - “The Wizard of Oz”, “Gone With the Wind”, “Stagecoach” 1940 - Bugs Bunny Debut “A Wild Hare” 1941 - Messerschmitt ME 262 - first operation jet fighter 1941 - America joins WWII 1941 - “Wonder Woman” William Moulton Marston 1941-ish - Television standardized in US 1942 - “Casablanca” 1942 - “Nighthawks” Edward Hopper 1942 - Executive Order 9066 - Americans of Japanese descent Internment Camps 1942 - Napalm developed 1944 - Fire Balloons - first intercontinental ranged weapon (weather balloons with bombs attached) 1945 - WWII ends 1945 - United Nations founded 1946 - ENIAC, the first computer completed 1947 - Cold War start 1947 - July 8 - “UFO” incident - Roswell, NM 1947 - Oct 14 sound barrier broken - Chuck Yeager in the X-1 1947 - Beginning of the “Red Scare” and McCarthyism 1947 - Assassination of Ghandi - formation of India and Pakistan 1947 - Radarange - first commercially available microwave oven 1948 - “No.5, 1948” Jackson Pollock 1948 - Cat litter invented 1949 - Chinese Communist Revolution 1949 - carbon dating created/published (BP is calibrated to 1950) 1950 -  “Peanuts” Charles Schultz 1950 - Start of Korean War 1950 - “Treasure Island” - Disney - source of ‘arr’ pirate accent 1953 - End of Korean War 1953 - Playboy started 1953 - “Casino Royale” first James Bond novel - Ian Fleming 1953 - DNA double helix structure identified - James Watson and Francis Crick off of Rosalind Franklin’s work 1954 - Elvis Presley starts recording 1954 - First Transistor Radio 1954 - “Motivation and Personality” - Abraham Maslow - Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs 1954 - “Godzilla” 1954 - Brown v Board of Education - separate but equal is BS 1955 - “Rebel Without a Cause” 1955 - “Lord of the Rings” trilogy published - JRR Tolkien 1955 - Vietnam War start 1955 - Courier typeface released 1955 - Polio vaccine 1955 - Rosa Parks sits at the front of the bus 1956 - Acetaminophen released (Tylenol) 1956 - “The Searchers” 1957 - Sputnik - first man-made satellite - USSR 1957 - End of the “Red Scare” and McCarthyism 1957 - Helvetica typeface released 1958 - WD-40 commercially available 1959 - AK and HI become states 1959 - Xerox 914 - plain paper photocopier 1959 - Metric used to define US Customary units 1961 - Berlin wall started 1961 - First openly gay man to run for political office, San Francisco Board of Supervisors - Jose Julio Sarria aka Empress Jose I, The Widow Norton 1962 - “Spider-Man”, “Thor”, “Hulk” created Stan Lee, Steve Ditko 1962 - “Dr. No” - first James Bond film 1963 - Kennedy Assassination 1963 - Alcatraz closed 1964 - “The Son of Man” Rene Magritte 1964 - British Invasion - Beatles play on Ed Sullivan Show 1964 - Vietnam War really gets going 1965 - Kevlar invented - Stephanie Kwolek 1967 - St Louis Gateway Arch completed 1966 - U of T at Austin Tower sniper killings: Charles Whitman 1966 - US-market passenger cars required: padded instrument panels, front and rear outboard lap belts, and white backup lamps 1966 - “Star Trek” airs 1967 - Interracial Marriage in US legal: Loving v Virginia 1967 - Patterson-Gilman Bigfoot Film 1967 - Countertop Radarange microwave oven 1968 - first black woman elected to Congress - Shirley Chisholm 1968 - visible LED lights introduced as indicators (Hewlett Packard) 1969 - Cuyahoga river catches fire. Again. 13th time’s the charm 1969 - “Scooby-Doo, Where Are You!” - Joe Ruby, Ken Spears 1969 - Ibuprofen released UK (prescription only) 1969 - Moon landing 1969 - “True Grit” 1969 - Stonewall Riots 1970 - Beatles break up 1970 - Kent State Massacre 1970 - EPA established in reaction to Cuyahoga river and other environment problems 1971 - Kevlar introduced to world 1972 - Sperm Whale oil banned from use in transmission oil b/c Endangered Species Act 1972 - Watergate break-in 1972 - J Edgar Hoover dies and is replaced as Director of the FBI 1972 - “The Godfather” - Francis Ford Coppola 1972 - 8” floppy disk on market 1973 - Abortion Legal: Roe v Wade 1973 - American involvement in Vietnam war ended 1973 - Xerox Alto introduced - computer with GUI, mouse 1974 - Terracotta Army unearthed 1974 - Dungeons & Dragons RPG first published 1974 - Nixon resigns 1975 - Vietnam war end 1976 - Concorde jet service starts 1976 - Harvey Milk is the first openly gay man, non-incumbent, elected in the United States (and first openly gay person elected to public office in California) member of the San Francisco Board of Supervisors 1976 - 5 1/4” floppy disk on market 1977 - TRS-80 and Apple II family introduced 1977 - Atari VCS (later 2600) - home video game console 1977 - “Star Wars” - a ‘blockbuster’ movie becomes a thing 1979 - “Alien” 1980 - Pac-Man released in US 1980 - Eruption of Mount St. Helens 1981 - “Raiders of the Lost Ark” 1982 - Arial computer font release 1982 - Commercial release of compact discs (CDs) 1982 - “E.T. the ExtraTerrestrial” 1983 - Nintendo game system released Japan 1983 - “Thriller” - Michael Jackson 1984 - Macintosh introduced - first mass market PC with GUI and mouse 1984 - OTC ibuprofen available (Advil) 1984 - First commercially available handheld cellular mobile phone Motorola DynaTAC 8000X 1984 - PG-13 rating introduced after complaints about films such as “Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” and “Gremlins” 1985 - Nintendo released in US 1985 - “Calvin and Hobbes” - Bill Watterson 1986 - Challenger explosion 1990 - Berlin wall fell/German reunification 1990 - First website goes live on World Wide Web 1990 - NC-17 replaces X rating 1991 - Cold War end 1991 - “Nevermind” - Nirvana 1997 - “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone” - JK Rowling 2001 - 9/11 2004 - Facebook 2005 - Hurricane Katrina 2007 - Twitter   Tumblr   iPhone 2008 - First Black President 2016 - First Clown President

[writinganddyinginside]

Things Change. [Hamilton]

Ship(s): Alexander Hamilton x Thomas Jefferson

Word Count: 1099

Warning(s): Death, cancer mention, possible OOCness, possible typos, not 100% realistic.

Alexander closed his novel, held it shut as he put it in Thomas’ lap. Thomas seemed to ignore him. His eyes closed, his head leaned back against the couch cushion, an open pack of cigarettes in his hand. It’s not like he was going to use them. He ever smokes in the house anymore.

Alex picks up a small radio beside him; it was a dull teal color, and it was dirty, but he’s sure it still works. Alex turns it on, struggles to find the right station.

He’s finally set it to something. Orchestrated music, music you could slow dance to. The music wakes Thomas up.

“Wake up.” Alexander might've been sick for almost a years, but he hadn't gotten any quieter.

“Wasn't sleepin’. Was restin’ my eyes.” Thomas pauses. “Do I hear violin music?” Alexander doesn't remember how many times he’s told Thomas that those aren't just violins.

Alex unfolded his legs and set his feet on the floor. “I want to dance.”

“Alexander. You know I can’t dance.”

“Of course you can! You didn’t say that six years ago.”

“Six years ago, I wasn’t old.”

Alexander pouts childishly. “No one’s too old to dance. Dance with me! Please?” He pats his feet on the floor. They’re supposed to be stomps.

Thomas tosses the cigarettes somewhere next to him. “Fine.” He stands, walks up in front of Alexander. Alexander holds his arms out, awaiting Thomas’ warmth. Alexander was never really warm anymore.

Thomas helps Alex stand, and holds him close. Alex couldn’t stand on his own anymore.

Thomas started to sway a bit, and Alexander allowed himself to take a first step. And Thomas followed, and they continued on until they were practically one with the music. One with each other. Alexander loved every second of it. It brought memories of Thomas. The cheery Thomas. The charismatic Thomas. The before-he-got-sick Thomas. The memories are lovely, wonderful...

All in a second, his legs give way and his knees buckle, and then he’s closer to the floor. But Thomas has him, Thomas holds him. Kisses his cheek. Warm.

Alexander is pulled up and stands again. And they dance for a while.

Until Alex stumbles again and almost kicks over the vase of the floor beside the sofa. He could hear Thomas suck in a breath. They stand straight once more.

Suddenly, Alexander’s in pain. Thomas his hugging him, gripping him tightly. It hurts, but its better than falling. Thomas is muttering, crying.

Alex pats Thomas’ back. He wasn’t good at comforting people. Especially Thomas. Because he knows what Thomas is muttering about.

You’re hurting me. I can’t take it. This is serious, not just the flu. It’s cancer. Really bad. You’re selfish. Why?

You’re sick and you won’t even tell your own son.

Their son. Phillip. Alexander could only think of the vase he’d almost knocked over.

It held their dog’s ashes. Thomas didn’t really like dogs, but Phillip had been begging for months. Thomas had let Phillip know that he would get to name the doggy, and Alexander still thinks it’s a bit of a stupid name.

Turtle. Fucking Turtle. It was only to piss John off, the man was obsessed with turtles and was repeatedly disappointed every time Thomas called for the dog. That lasted for about a week or two.

Thomas sits down on the couch, Alexander in his lap, straddling his thighs. There are still tears running down Thomas’ face, but he’s not crying anymore. Alexander rests his head on Thomas’ chest.

He doesn’t know why he feels guilty. He’s wanted to die, see his mother again for years and he’s finally going to get that. But Thomas would say that that’s selfish.

“Aaron’s going to call you,” says Alex. Thomas is silent.

Alexander adds, “To make sure Phillip can stay over.”

“I’ve told him that he could.” Thomas’ voice is a little above a whisper.

“I know, but you know he likes to check and recheck things.”

“Mhm.”

“...And Maria wants to call you.”

“Maria does not want to call me.”

“Joking.” And he’s right. Maria Lewis hates Thomas.

Only because they’d both been cheating. Alexander and Thomas were both married when they got together. Alexander didn’t think much of it until after the divorce. Maria actively hates Thomas now, and Alex knows that as a fact, even if Maria doesn’t contact either of them ever. Eliza, on the other hand, stuck around. They’re still pretty good friends. She and Alex had a peaceful marriage, he guessed. Elizabeth was sweet and kind, family-oriented. But Alex admitted, he didn’t want to have children with Eliza. He was almost glad she couldn’t conceive when they married.

Alexander’s eyes had closed by then; he was tired. He could feel himself being lifted and set back onto the sofa. He opened his eyes, looked toward Thomas, who was headed for the door.

“Where are you going?”

Thomas holds up the pack of cigarettes. Alexander nods.

“Don’t be out long; I’m sleepy.” Thomas was out the door just as he finished the sentence. It was only eight-thirty. Alexander never slept late anymore.

Alexander looks around, and he goes over the memories of his wild past. And he notices.

Wow, things have changed.

[”Bonus”]

Alexander couldn’t sleep for the period of time that Thomas was outside, because all the lights were on. Though, he’d come back inside after about fifteen minutes. Smelled like cigarette smoke, but Alexander didn’t mind. And Alexander was carried to the bedroom and tucked into bed.

But he’s sitting with his eyes wide open.

Thomas had left the light on, and Alexander still doesn’t know why.

“Could you turn the light off please? I’m tired.”

“Alex, you look too tired.”

“What are you talking about, Thomas? I just want to go to sleep.”

Thomas takes his hand. He’s kneeling beside Alexander. “I want you to stay with me.”

Alexander’s face softened. “Love, I’ll be okay. Let me rest, please. I’m so tired.”

Thomas is silent for moment, and then turns the light off.

“Okay. I need to check on George before I go to sleep.” Thomas seemed to pause. (George Washington had almost been sent to a nursing home by Lafayette, but insisted he wanted to stay in his own home. So someone will go and check up on him throughout the day.) “I love you, darling.”

Alexander smiles, “Love you, too. Forever and always.” He feels Thomas kiss his forehead before his quiet footsteps become even quieter.

And Alexander closes his eyes, soon going into a deep sleep. The sleep welcomed him gently, not like it used to. Not blunt, not like being knocked out.

His breathing slows, and evens out. Fades completely.

Until nothing but the usual tick of the clock is heard.

[un-enfant-immature]

For Labor Day, work harder

Labor Day is a holiday that just doesn’t fit Silicon Valley. It’s purported purpose is to celebrate working men and women and their — our — progress toward better working conditions and fairer workplaces. Yet, few regions in recent times have supposedly done more to “destroy” quality working conditions than the Valley, from the entire creation of the precarious 1099 economy to automation of labor itself.

My colleague John Chen offered the received wisdom on this discrepancy this weekend, arguing that Valley entrepreneurs should take the traditional message of Labor Day to heart, encouraging them to create more equitable, fair, and secure workplaces not just for their own employees, but also for all the workers that power the platforms we create and operate every day.

It’s a nice sentiment that I agree with, but I think he misses the mark.

What Silicon Valley needs — now more than ever before — is to double down on the kind of ambitious, hard-charging, change-the-world labor that created our modern knowledge economy in the first place. We can’t and shouldn’t slow down. We need more technological progress, not less. We need more automation of labor, not less. And we need as much of this innovation to happen in the United States as possible.

The tech industry may have become a dominant force by some metrics, but we are only just getting started. Entire industries like freight have little to no automation. Several billion people lack access to the internet, to say nothing of critical, basic infrastructure. Our drug pipeline is anemic, and costs for education, health care, construction, and government are continuing to skyrocket.

In short, we have barely scratched the surface of what we can achieve with software, with hardware, with better business models and better automation. These aren’t table scraps, but trillions dollar opportunities lying in wait for entrepreneurs to seize them.

And yet, we keep hearing persistent claims that overwork is a problem in the Valley. Discussions of work-life balance are practically de rigueur for startups these days, as are free meals and massages and unlimited vacation time. These demands are coming at a time when some of the most fertile opportunities for innovation in areas as diverse as robotics, space, biotech, cancer, and construction remain ripe for the taking.

It’s a hustlers world out there, and the message that those who want to shape that world should be hearing this Labor Day is simple: work harder. Hell, work today.

Certainly that’s the message ingrained in most places competing with the Valley these days. Mike Moritz wrote a column in the Financial Times earlier this year, comparing the hard-charging work ethic of Chinese tech entrepreneurs and workers with their Silicon Valley brethren. He didn’t mince words, and the piece ignited a firestorm of criticism.

But he’s right, and not just about Chinese founders. Entrepreneurs in developing and middle-income countries from India and South Korea to Brazil and Nigeria now have access to the same tools that top Valley startups use, with experience to boot. And they are hungry to transform their lot in life into something much more ambitious, much more grand.

We need to re-inject their level of urgency back into the Valley ethos and compete ferociously. We can’t rest on companies from the 1990s like Google, or the 1970s like Apple and Microsoft as the final wave of innovative companies. We need the next massive tech companies to be built, and they’re not going to be created 20-hour workweeks at a time.

Entrepreneurship is a rough and solitary life. Hustling isn’t fun, losing deals isn’t enjoyable, and working around the clock under intense pressure is not for the faint of heart. For those who want the easy road, there are many, many pathways today in the modern American economy that will guarantee it, whether that is a big tech giant, or some other Fortune 100 company.

Yet, the spirit of America is always choosing the bigger gamble, the bolder vision. And it is the people who stand up and demand that we make huge strides today — not tomorrow — that are going to own the future.

Of course, founding a company has to be a voluntary choice. No one should have to work for a pittance, or feel coerced into a high-pressure lifestyle when they aren’t ready and willing. No one should be locked into an economic system where they can’t improve their own income and status through tenacity and strategy. Our tech companies should absolutely be more diverse, and fairer to all people. Equity can and should be more widely distributed.

But when it comes to the true meaning of Labor Day in the American sense, we should celebrate the hard-working founders and entrepreneurs who are taking on the biggest challenges and focusing all of their talents on solving these critical human problems. That’s what made Silicon Valley what it is, and it’s the meaning of Labor Day that every founder and dreamer should center on.

[cheapggdbshoes-blog]

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12 reasons to file a tax return even if you don't have to

Broad City image via Giphy.com

Do you have to file a return? Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the answer usually is yes.

But there's a difference between having to file a tax return and submitting a 1040 form because you should. And by should, I mean when it's to your advantage to do so.

Yes, that does happen in the tax world now and then.

When filing is required: First, though, let's look at when the tax code says we must send the Internal Revenue Service a Form 1040. 

If you are a U.S. citizen or resident who made money last year, whether you must tell the Internal Revenue Service about it depends on three things:

Your gross income,

Your filing status, and

Your age.

The IRS created the table (shown as Chart A in the 2018 Form 1040 instructions) below to give you an idea of whether you should start getting your filing material together.

2018 Filing Requirements for Most Taxpayers

 If your filing status is: 

 AND at the end of 2018  you were:

THEN file a return if your gross income was at least:

 Single

 64 or younger  65 or older

 $12,000  $13,600

 Married filing jointly

 64 or younger (both spouses)  65 or older (one spouse)  65 or older (both spouses)

 $24,000  $25,300  $26,600

 Married filing separately

 Any age

 $5 (Yes, five bucks)

 Head of Household 

 64 or younger  65 or older

 $18,000  $19,600

 Qualifying widow/widower

 64 or younger  65 or older

 $24,000  $25,300

  A quick filing note for some older New Year's Day babies. The IRS says that if you were born on Jan. 1, 1954, you are considered to be age 65 at the end of 2018. That one-day shift lets you make a little more before you have to mess with filing.

Also, for filing requirement purposes, the IRS says that gross income means all income you received in the form of money, goods, property, and services that isn't exempt from tax, including any income from sources outside the United States or from the sale of your main home, even if you can exclude part or all of it.

In this gig economy world, all income definitely means money from these jobs, be they your full-time work or simply side hustles to supplement your wage income. And the earnings count even if you don't get an official tax form, usually a 1099-MISC or 1099-K.

You don't, however, have to include any Social Security benefits unless (a) you are married filing a separate return and you lived with your spouse at any time in 2017 or (b) one-half of your Social Security benefits plus your other gross income and any tax-exempt interest is more than $25,000 or $32,000 if married filing jointly.

And since the IRS has seen it all, it notes that if even if you're married, if you didn't live with your spouse at the end of 2018 (or on the date your spouse died) and your gross income was at least $5, you must file a return regardless of your age. That's the same as the five-buck income threshold for married filing separately folks.

There also are filing matters to consider if someone can claim you as a tax dependent. Basically, your filing requirement again takes into account your filing status, age and income. Chart B in the 2018 Form 1040 instructions has details.

Again, I'm just the messenger when it comes to keeping the IRS off your back when it comes to filing, so please, as the old saying goes, don't shoot me.

Other filing factors: One of the biggest complaints about taxes, aside from the actual dollars we pay, is how complicated they are. That's obvious in the rules regarding income and filing status above that determine whether you must file a 1040.

But there also are other factors that, well, factor into the decision. They include —

You have household help and pay your employees enough to trigger employment taxes. For the 2018 tax year, that's $2,100 and it means you must file a Schedule H with your 1040. Although this requirement is popularly called the nanny tax, it covers not just childcare assistance, but also maids, housekeepers, gardeners and others who work in or around your private residence as your employee. Note the designation as employees. This doesn't apply independent contractors who do household work for you. Be careful here. The IRS looks closely at worker designations. The good news, though, is that if you are filing a tax return only because you owe this tax, you can file Schedule H by itself.

You or your spouse or dependents got advance payments of the premium tax credit to help cover medical coverage purchased through the healthcare Marketplace. You need to file to reconcile those amounts.

You made, after expenses, at least $400 from self-employment. While you might not technically have made enough to require filing, you still have to file in order to pay the self-employment (SE) tax on these independent earnings. The tax due here, calculated on Schedule SE, is the self-employed person's version of the payroll taxes that go toward Social Security and Medicare, aka FICA, that are taken out of salaried workers' checks. Again, it bears repeating. It's possible you could owe SE taxes, but no income tax. However, you still must file to report those independent earnings.

You can find more about filing requirements in the IRS' general tax guide, Publication 17. You also can use the IRS' online tool to determine whether you need to file this year.

When you should file: OK, you've discovered you technically don't have to file a return. Great, right?

To borrow one of Donald J. Trump's favorite words, Wrong!

Sometimes even if you don't have to file a tax return, it's to your benefit to do so.

Here are a dozen situations when you should file a federal income tax return:

You had federal income tax withheld. The only way to get any of this excess money back as a refund is to file a 1040.

You made estimated tax payments. You want to make sure the IRS knows that you sent in these extra amounts for income that's not subject to withholding.

You qualify for the Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC). This tax break for lower- and middle-income workers is, as the name says, a credit, which means it reduces any tax you owe dollar-for-dollar. It's also a refundable credit, meaning you can get a tax refund even if you don't owe any tax. The amount of the credit and the income thresholds are adjusted annually for inflation, with as much as $6,431 available to some EITC eligible filers for the 2018 tax year.

You qualify for the refundable portion of the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act's (TCJA) new child tax credit. Like the EITC, this additional child tax credit means you could get money back — as much as $1,400 — even if you don't owe any tax.

You qualify for the Affordable Care Act's (ACA) premium tax credit. Yes, Obamacare is still law. Most people who qualify for this credit get it in advance — which, as noted in the must-file discussion above, means you have to send in a Form 1040 — when they purchase their health insurance via the Marketplace. But you do have the option of paying all your premiums in full yourself during the tax year and then claiming the credit when, you got it, you file your return.

You qualify for the health coverage tax credit (HCTC). The HCTC is a refundable tax credit that pays 72.5 percent of qualified health insurance premiums for eligible individuals and their families. This is a separate, more narrow tax credit with different rules than the ACA's premium tax credit. The IRS has a special Web page with HCTC eligibility and claiming details.

You qualify for the American opportunity tax credit. This educational tax break could give you a credit of up to $2,500 and portion of it — up to $1,000 — is refundable to some qualifying filers.

You owe the Alternative Minimum Tax (AMT). This parallel tax, created in the 1960s to ensure that rich taxpayers paid at least some (aka minimum) amount of tax, used to snare a lot of middle-income filers because it wasn't indexed for inflation. That changed in 2013, with the annual exemption amounts now reducing the number of folks caught in this tax net. The TCJA went even further, increasing AMT phaseout threshold amounts to $1 million for married taxpayers filing a joint return and $500,000 for all other taxpayers. If, however, you make enough that you have to pay the AMT, then you must file.

You didn't report all your tips to your employer. You now need to do that by filing a return and also paying the SE tax on those gratuities. The same SE filing is required if you got a paycheck, but your employer didn't withhold these FICA taxes.

You qualify for the credit for federal tax on fuels. With this one, you might have to wait to file. This relatively arcane tax break for biodiesel and renewable diesel fuels, as well as the alternative fuel credit, had expired. They are part of the group of tax breaks known as extenders, which are still awaiting Congressional action. If they are renewed for the 2018 tax year and beyond, you'll be able to claim them. For now, you can get an extension if this tax break makes a big difference to your filing or you can amend your return later if the credits are restored. Form 4136 instructions have more details.

To establish a placeholder for tax deductions and/or credits you need to carry forward. TurboTax points out that, for example, you can't claim a home office deduction so large that it would produce a loss. Instead, you claim zero business income for the year and carry any leftover deduction into the next year. But in order to claim that extra write-off in future years when you do have more income, Smart Money writer Bill Bischoff says you need to file for that initial claim.

To start the audit statute of limitations clock ticking. The IRS generally can go back three years to look at your old tax filings. But that time frame doesn't start until you actually file a 1040. So even if you didn't make quite enough to trigger the filing requirement, you might want to make sure the IRS can't come back, say, 10 years from now to ask about why you didn't file in 2018.

The main reason to file, though, even if you don't have to is to get tax cash. The IRS doesn't know what tax breaks you qualify for, so it's not just going to send you the cash.

The only way to get any tax money you're owed because of over-withholding or tax credits you qualify for is to file a return and claim them.

So if any of these 12 potentially positive tax-filing circumstances apply to you, send in a 1040!

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[christophergill8]

12 reasons to file a tax return even if you don't have to

Broad City image via Giphy.com

Do you have to file a return? Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but the answer usually is yes.

But there's a difference between having to file a tax return and submitting a 1040 form because you should. And by should, I mean when it's to your advantage to do so.

Yes, that does happen in the tax world now and then.

When filing is required: First, though, let's look at when the tax code says we must send the Internal Revenue Service a Form 1040. 

If you are a U.S. citizen or resident who made money last year, whether you must tell the Internal Revenue Service about it depends on three things:

Your gross income,

Your filing status, and

Your age.

The IRS created the table (shown as Chart A in the 2018 Form 1040 instructions) below to give you an idea of whether you should start getting your filing material together.

2018 Filing Requirements for Most Taxpayers

 If your filing status is: 

 AND at the end of 2018  you were:

THEN file a return if your gross income was at least:

 Single

 64 or younger  65 or older

 $12,000  $13,600

 Married filing jointly

 64 or younger (both spouses)  65 or older (one spouse)  65 or older (both spouses)

 $24,000  $25,300  $26,600

 Married filing separately

 Any age

 $5 (Yes, five bucks)

 Head of Household 

 64 or younger  65 or older

 $18,000  $19,600

 Qualifying widow/widower

 64 or younger  65 or older

 $24,000  $25,300

  A quick filing note for some older New Year's Day babies. The IRS says that if you were born on Jan. 1, 1954, you are considered to be age 65 at the end of 2018. That one-day shift lets you make a little more before you have to mess with filing.

Also, for filing requirement purposes, the IRS says that gross income means all income you received in the form of money, goods, property, and services that isn't exempt from tax, including any income from sources outside the United States or from the sale of your main home, even if you can exclude part or all of it.

In this gig economy world, all income definitely means money from these jobs, be they your full-time work or simply side hustles to supplement your wage income. And the earnings count even if you don't get an official tax form, usually a 1099-MISC or 1099-K.

You don't, however, have to include any Social Security benefits unless (a) you are married filing a separate return and you lived with your spouse at any time in 2017 or (b) one-half of your Social Security benefits plus your other gross income and any tax-exempt interest is more than $25,000 or $32,000 if married filing jointly.

And since the IRS has seen it all, it notes that if even if you're married, if you didn't live with your spouse at the end of 2018 (or on the date your spouse died) and your gross income was at least $5, you must file a return regardless of your age. That's the same as the five-buck income threshold for married filing separately folks.

There also are filing matters to consider if someone can claim you as a tax dependent. Basically, your filing requirement again takes into account your filing status, age and income. Chart B in the 2018 Form 1040 instructions has details.

Again, I'm just the messenger when it comes to keeping the IRS off your back when it comes to filing, so please, as the old saying goes, don't shoot me.

Other filing factors: One of the biggest complaints about taxes, aside from the actual dollars we pay, is how complicated they are. That's obvious in the rules regarding income and filing status above that determine whether you must file a 1040.

But there also are other factors that, well, factor into the decision. They include —

You have household help and pay your employees enough to trigger employment taxes. For the 2018 tax year, that's $2,100 and it means you must file a Schedule H with your 1040. Although this requirement is popularly called the nanny tax, it covers not just childcare assistance, but also maids, housekeepers, gardeners and others who work in or around your private residence as your employee. Note the designation as employees. This doesn't apply independent contractors who do household work for you. Be careful here. The IRS looks closely at worker designations. The good news, though, is that if you are filing a tax return only because you owe this tax, you can file Schedule H by itself.

You or your spouse or dependents got advance payments of the premium tax credit to help cover medical coverage purchased through the healthcare Marketplace. You need to file to reconcile those amounts.

You made, after expenses, at least $400 from self-employment. While you might not technically have made enough to require filing, you still have to file in order to pay the self-employment (SE) tax on these independent earnings. The tax due here, calculated on Schedule SE, is the self-employed person's version of the payroll taxes that go toward Social Security and Medicare, aka FICA, that are taken out of salaried workers' checks. Again, it bears repeating. It's possible you could owe SE taxes, but no income tax. However, you still must file to report those independent earnings.

You can find more about filing requirements in the IRS' general tax guide, Publication 17. You also can use the IRS' online tool to determine whether you need to file this year.

When you should file: OK, you've discovered you technically don't have to file a return. Great, right?

To borrow one of Donald J. Trump's favorite words, Wrong!

Sometimes even if you don't have to file a tax return, it's to your benefit to do so.

Here are a dozen situations when you should file a federal income tax return:

You had federal income tax withheld. The only way to get any of this excess money back as a refund is to file a 1040.

You made estimated tax payments. You want to make sure the IRS knows that you sent in these extra amounts for income that's not subject to withholding.

You qualify for the Earned Income Tax Credit (EITC). This tax break for lower- and middle-income workers is, as the name says, a credit, which means it reduces any tax you owe dollar-for-dollar. It's also a refundable credit, meaning you can get a tax refund even if you don't owe any tax. The amount of the credit and the income thresholds are adjusted annually for inflation, with as much as $6,431 available to some EITC eligible filers for the 2018 tax year.

You qualify for the refundable portion of the Tax Cuts and Jobs Act's (TCJA) new child tax credit. Like the EITC, this additional child tax credit means you could get money back — as much as $1,400 — even if you don't owe any tax.

You qualify for the Affordable Care Act's (ACA) premium tax credit. Yes, Obamacare is still law. Most people who qualify for this credit get it in advance — which, as noted in the must-file discussion above, means you have to send in a Form 1040 — when they purchase their health insurance via the Marketplace. But you do have the option of paying all your premiums in full yourself during the tax year and then claiming the credit when, you got it, you file your return.

You qualify for the health coverage tax credit (HCTC). The HCTC is a refundable tax credit that pays 72.5 percent of qualified health insurance premiums for eligible individuals and their families. This is a separate, more narrow tax credit with different rules than the ACA's premium tax credit. The IRS has a special Web page with HCTC eligibility and claiming details.

You qualify for the American opportunity tax credit. This educational tax break could give you a credit of up to $2,500 and portion of it — up to $1,000 — is refundable to some qualifying filers.

You owe the Alternative Minimum Tax (AMT). This parallel tax, created in the 1960s to ensure that rich taxpayers paid at least some (aka minimum) amount of tax, used to snare a lot of middle-income filers because it wasn't indexed for inflation. That changed in 2013, with the annual exemption amounts now reducing the number of folks caught in this tax net. The TCJA went even further, increasing AMT phaseout threshold amounts to $1 million for married taxpayers filing a joint return and $500,000 for all other taxpayers. If, however, you make enough that you have to pay the AMT, then you must file.

You didn't report all your tips to your employer. You now need to do that by filing a return and also paying the SE tax on those gratuities. The same SE filing is required if you got a paycheck, but your employer didn't withhold these FICA taxes.

You qualify for the credit for federal tax on fuels. With this one, you might have to wait to file. This relatively arcane tax break for biodiesel and renewable diesel fuels, as well as the alternative fuel credit, had expired. They are part of the group of tax breaks known as extenders, which are still awaiting Congressional action. If they are renewed for the 2018 tax year and beyond, you'll be able to claim them. For now, you can get an extension if this tax break makes a big difference to your filing or you can amend your return later if the credits are restored. Form 4136 instructions have more details.

To establish a placeholder for tax deductions and/or credits you need to carry forward. TurboTax points out that, for example, you can't claim a home office deduction so large that it would produce a loss. Instead, you claim zero business income for the year and carry any leftover deduction into the next year. But in order to claim that extra write-off in future years when you do have more income, Smart Money writer Bill Bischoff says you need to file for that initial claim.

To start the audit statute of limitations clock ticking. The IRS generally can go back three years to look at your old tax filings. But that time frame doesn't start until you actually file a 1040. So even if you didn't make quite enough to trigger the filing requirement, you might want to make sure the IRS can't come back, say, 10 years from now to ask about why you didn't file in 2018.

The main reason to file, though, even if you don't have to is to get tax cash. The IRS doesn't know what tax breaks you qualify for, so it's not just going to send you the cash.

The only way to get any tax money you're owed because of over-withholding or tax credits you qualify for is to file a return and claim them.

So if any of these 12 potentially positive tax-filing circumstances apply to you, send in a 1040!

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from Tax News By Christopher https://www.dontmesswithtaxes.com/2019/04/12-reasons-to-file-a-tax-return-even-if-you-dont-have-to.html