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toomanybandstocare · 1 year

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{Naboo Sunset}

Program: When Padmé sends word to you that Rex will be on an extended leave this time, you make sure that he'll enjoy his well deserved rest with no worries. Even with General Skywalker in on your plan, no one could have foreseen how Rex would react to your affection. Naboo will always be where the two of you point as the start of your lives as riduurs.

Pairing: Captain Rex x GN! Reader

Genre: Fluff

Length: 2636w

Camp Resolute's Masterlist

ClonexReader Bingo

Prompt: Sunset

Warnings: Mild suggestiveness, Petnames (usual Mando'a ones), Alcohol (not to the point of getting drunk)

Counselor Notes: Well this took a turn I didn't see coming! Thank you @ghostofskywalkerfor the idea of a sunset date with Rex <3 For the @clonexreaderbingo.

“So, just to make sure I understand correctly,” Rex slowly voices his concern as he walks off the Twilight with Skywalker, “Senator Amidala requested extra security for the Senate gathering that Naboo is hosting, and the GAR only sent the two of us”. After working with the general for most of his military career, Rex is wary when it comes to any mission with the jedi. His concern only grows when he knows the general is hiding something from him. Rex scans the royal hanger with his eyes, and his suspicions heighten when he realizes their ship is the only one not from this planet.

“No,” Anakin drags out. “But we are here by special request. That part isn’t a lie”.

Rex rolls his eyes and sighs, “Then why are we here, sir?”

The two men reach the main entrance where the guard lets them into the palace with no questions asked. Rex’s eyebrow raises at the lack of protocol. His heart quickens as they walk through the bright palace halls. Normally, Rex can push aside the insecurity that comes with feeling like an outsider, but the grandeur of the royal halls and the luxurious outfits that its inhabitants wear cause him to sink into himself slightly. Finding comfort in the plastoid armor that his brothers wear alongside him even systems away.

Anakin looks at the captain out of the corner of his eyes for a moment, taking note of his stiff posture. He focuses on his gaze in front of them, but he then bears off to a side corridor. He leads Rex to a hidden staircase and explains, “The 501st has been granted an extended leave after our last success”.

Rex’s eyebrows furrow, “Then why are we on Naboo?” He’s careful to keep his voice calm so as to not betray the growing hope that’s overcoming him. The last rays of early evening bleed into a vibrant sunset over the lake from the open archways that line the outer wall.

“I may, or may not, have lied about the Senator requesting you to be here,” Skywalker sheepishly admits. “That doesn’t mean someone else didn’t request your presence, though”.

Reaching the top of the stairwell, Skywalker steps to the side and opens the door for Rex. His signature smirk appears on his face, and Rex thinks this is finally the moment he’ll strangle the general for everything he's been put through. Fully ready to voice his intent, Rex’s body freezes at the sight of you sitting at a table for two on the palace’s terrace.

Dressed in a summer evening outfit, you look at your partner in amusement as he can’t take his eyes off you. His expression of disbelief makes you lightly chuckle. Warmth blankets around you as the sun kisses your skin causing butterflies to tickle your stomach.

“I’ll leave you two to it. We’ll have a few weeks here, Rex, so try to actually relax on your time off,” Skywalker quietly dismisses himself. Before he completely moves away, he nods at you in gratitude.

You smile lightly at the general, and you focus your gaze on Rex. “Care to join me? It’d be a shame to let this go to waste,” you say and motion to the table full of fruit, cheese, and bread. A jug of water sits on the side of the table with a bottle of wine in a chiller stand.

Rex can’t breathe as he takes in this moment. Memorizing it to hold close for the rest of his life, his heart swells to the point where he swears he's going to break. “How,” Rex tries to find his voice as he walks towards you, “How did you plan this?”

You reach your hands out to him and grasp his gloved hands. Rubbing your thumbs over his knuckles, you explain, “I had some help. Padmé learned about it through her husband, and she sent me a message. Offered to let us have a vacation away from prying eyes”. You look up at him from your seat and flutter your eyelashes. The soft smile on your face growing as Rex looks down at you in adoration. A flush warms your cheeks when he takes one hand to tilt your chin up towards him. His gentle touch ignites sparks across your skin.

“Have I told you how much I love you?” Rex quietly mumbles before placing a kiss to your lips. His hand then cups your jaw to help guide you into a better position to deepen the kiss. His lips move against yours and pride warms his chest when you meet him with equal tenderness. Everything feels as if it comes to a standstill as the two of you reunite and fall into your partner’s embrace.

You rest your free hand on his hip and run your thumb over the new scratches on the worn plastoid. Silently thanking the stars for safely returning Rex to you one more time. Rex pulls away from your lips, and before you can protest, he places a quick peck to your pout. Your heart races from the small act, and you meet his affectionate gaze with a similar look on your face. “I think you’ve voiced the idea one or two times,” you muse, “You did, did however, say we would need all the time in the galaxy to truly express how much you adore me”.

You lightly laugh and let him step away to find his seat across from you, and his laughter soon joins yours. You pour water into both your glasses while you softly inquire. “How would you like to go about your vacation?” When Rex raises an eyebrow as he slips off his gloves, your cheeks flame as your mind begins to wander from the terrace oasis to the luxurious bedroom the two of you will find comfort in soon enough. “We have a gift sitting in front of us. If you want, we could completely ignore the war for a short time. Get lost in our imaginations of what it would be like to spend our lives peacefully hidden away from the galaxy,” you elaborate.

Rex looks at you with a thoughtful expression. His eyes flickering from your ethereal appearance to the beautiful scenery that leads his mind to all the possible afternoon rendez-vous the two of you could find yourselves in before noticing the small quirk of your lips. His chest aches at the care you’ve put into this experience for him, and he leans forward to grasp one of your hands across the table. “That’s a very dangerous idea, cyar’ika,” Rex muses.

“Don’t you flirt with death everyday, love?” you tease and squeeze his hand. “How could a blossoming field of flowers beside a tranquil lake pose more of a threat than a battlefield?”

Rex chuckles and looks up at you from his eyelashes. His amber eyes hold a roguish glint that only grows in intensity at the small shiver that falls over your body. When he responds, he voice drops into a gravelly, hushed tone, “I meant dangerous for you, cy’are. Three weeks tucked away from any distractions where I can finally take my time to love and adore you. Worship you every morning, afternoon, and evening for everyday we live in paradise. You’re offering me too much when it should be me who offers you everything”.

Your breath hitches and the blush rising to your cheeks rivals the sunset’s rich red and orange hues that paint the sky. Heart pounding against its cage, your voice comes out airy: “Whatever you desire, I shall give to you during our time together. As long as you promise that you’ll return to me each time we must part ways”.

Rex feels like he can’t breathe. A wash of guilty pleasure consumes him as you bite down on a strawberry. The glistening juice trails across your lip before your tongue swipes across to collect it. Your lighthearted laugh seemingly brings a brighter glow that Rex didn’t think was possible to the golden beams of sunlight that stream through the hanging flowers. His other hand subtly moves to his utility belt as you turn your head to watch the sun set against the great lake. Rex is thankful that you let him get lost in his thoughts this time, because he wants to do right by you for this change in your relationship.

“I will do everything in my power to come home to you, so we can continue to create memories like these together,” Rex promises. His voice softens into a reverent awe, and as he speaks he unclasps one of his pouches.

“I know,” you softly acknowledge, “I will always count down the days until we reunite, but during those days I will always worry for your well being and safety”. Rex’s hand squeezes yours, and your expression drops. Not daring to look at your lover, you keep your attention to the families and friends who gather by the lake’s shore to begin their summer celebration. Your chest constricts as hugs are shared and shouts of excitement crescendo against the evening’s warm breeze.

Rex ducks his head and sighs. His fingers hesitate when they graze the small box he’s kept safe by his side during his last few deployments. When he steals a glance at you, Rex’s heart all but breaks at the adoration he holds for you. Sitting before him, Rex looks upon his lover who holds him with such care and tender love. Who understands him better than he does. Who goes through every obstacle to stand by his side and support him in a galaxy that causes a fear to fester in the back of his mind. A lover who walks him off the edge when his emotions get the best of him. There’s no one more deserving of his lifetime devotion after everything his cy’are has done for him. Certainly, no one who he could imagine living the rest of his life with.

With a reignited spark of resolve, Rex scoops the small box into his hand and clasps the pouch. “I can’t promise that a worst case scenario will never happen,” Rex quietly begins. When you turn to face him with a worried expression that nearly makes him choke, he takes a deep breath. “However, if there is a way for me to find my way back to you, I will always search for it. There is nothing in this galaxy that could keep me from returning to you. The only exception being death itself”.

Your breathing begins to grow heavy as you listen to Rex’s declaration. A night you hoped would be full of laughter and relaxation now renders you speechless while feeling the weight of his words sink into you. Your heart races as you watch Rex rise to his feet and return to your side once more. “Rex,” you softly question. Only for a quiet gasp to slip past your lips when he drops to one knee now holding your hand with such tenderness as he trails his thumbs across your knuckles.

Rex’s heart pounds against his chest as blood rushes to his ears. An overwhelming mixture of emotions makes him feel dizzy, but he will not let this opportunity pass. “I have never met a person who willingly gives a piece of their heart to whoever may need it. Someone who cares so deeply for their loved ones or people they have only just met, because you believe that everyone deserves to feel cared about. Regardless of if you’ve spent weeks with them or just a few minutes. You offer your heart to anyone and trust them to take care of it just as you would theirs, because you hold hope that the galaxy will rebuild itself into a place where everyone feels at home once more”.

“You’re going to make me cry,” you let out a watery laugh and wipe away the threatening tears, “You better not be doing what I think you’re trying to do. This vacation is supposed to be about you”.

Rex lets out a short laugh of disbelief as he shakes his head. He looks up at you with a beaming smile, “But that’s just it, cy’are. Without you, I am a shell of a man. You have brought so much light and love into my life that I never dared to dream possible. My heart only beats for you, and I want to spend the remaining days of my life by your side”. Rex slides his thumb under the ring box’s lid as his thunderous heartbeat echoes in his ears. “If you will allow me the honor, I would like to care for you with just as much devotion as you have shown me in the time we have already shared together”.

Your eyes soften as Rex opens the ring box to reveal a simple silver band with a small sapphire in the middle. The last rays of light catch on the gemstone to cause it to sparkle in the early evening. “You would be a fool to ever think I wouldn’t say yes,” you weakly laugh and run your thumb under your eyes.

“Then say it,” Rex pleads. His amber eyes shimmer with excitement in the golden sunlight as he waits to hear the words he’s only dreamed of hearing you say. “Please”.

“Yes,” you softly assure him, “I would love to spend the rest of my life by your side”. There was never a doubt in your mind that this would be the man you married when you first met, but as Rex slips the band onto your ring finger, you have never known a love so strong. When you try to convey your feelings, the words can’t come. Only a small whimper falls from your lips and a short laugh. So instead you cup Rex’s face, and you share a passionate kiss. Your eyes flutter closed as you commit this moment to memory.

A chuckle of acknowledgement falls from Rex before he nips at your bottom lip and deepens the kiss. Tilting his head, Rex holds your wrists and thumbs your racing pulse points. Your hum causes his skin to tingle. Finally, Rex feels as if he’s found his place in the galaxy. When your kiss breaks, the two of you still lean into each other's embrace and rest your foreheads together. For a few minutes, the pair of you don’t move away. Only shifting slightly to ghost your lips over over the other in featherlight kisses. Nudging your chin with his nose to make you open your eyes, Rex gently places a lingering kiss to the corner of your mouth before pulling away to stand up.

Instead of sitting across from you like you thought he was doing, your eyebrows raise when he takes his chair and moves it next to yours. “Couldn’t even go a minute without being apart,” you find your voice to tease.

Rex shoots you a look of amusement while reaching over to pick up the bottle of wine from the chiller. “Because you’re any better,” Rex counters and nods to your hand resting on his belt. Now adorn by a silver band that only makes his smile grow at the sight. Twisting the cork free, Rex pours both of you glasses of bubbly and places the bottle back in the chiller. As he sits by your side, he offers you a glass and rests a hand on your thigh. He tilts his glass towards you with his usual charming expression. “May we share as many days together as riduurs as there are stars in the galaxy,” he proposes.

Lightly clinking your glass to his, you beam at Rex. “And may we always find our ways home to one another after any time apart”.

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221bshrlocked · 1 year

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don’t go

Pairings: Sergeant Hunter x afab!Reader

Words: 2278

Warnings: Mutual Pining.

Summary: Hunter thinks you're afraid of him. A brief confrontation makes him realize it's actually the opposite.

A/N: This is for @cloneficgiftexchange ClonexReader Comment Swap. Writer's block is a bitch but I managed to finish this with a few hours to spare. Comments are always appreciated

Hunter couldn’t help himself. Every time you’d come around and ask Wrecker if he wanted any snacks, or offered your assistance to Tech as he tinkered away on the Marauder, he would stop whatever he’s doing and stare at you. It’s not that he didn’t trust you, far from it. He just felt a little left out, knowing that you can hold a conversation with his brothers and Omega without a problem, but grew incredibly flustered and nervous whenever he approached you and asked if there was anything you needed.

Maker, it was even worse when you were with Omega. She was his sister after all, but as the months flew by, he felt more like a father to her. And seeing you so sweet and kind with her, so playful even when you didn’t have time, it stirred something in his heart.

At first, Hunter wasn’t sure what it was he was feeling. He thought for a long while that he was concerned with how friendly you were since their arrival to Pabu. Good things never lasted, and he had this hunch that you would betray them if they stayed on the island long enough. But as he spent more time with you, or rather, stayed close enough to the group when you hung out with them, Hunter knew that it wasn’t distrust he was feeling towards you, but a longing.

Longing to be trusted by you, perhaps even be considered as a friend.

He didn’t know if he did anything upon arrival that made you so avoidant of him. All he knew was that you were much more comfortable with the others than him. What’s even worse, he even tried to bring it up several times to see if he needed to apologize for whatever he did. But every time he’d walk your way, you’d either excuse yourself, or ask him if he was doing well before leaving immediately.

Hunter didn’t like it one bit.

How rapidly your heart beat whenever he is close to you.

“Great,” Omega breaks the silence, making Hunter turn to look at her in confusion.

“Hmm?” He tilts his head to the side, eyeing the little girl before staring at your retreating form as you hurried up the hill and away from everyone.

“You made her leave again.” Omega sighed deeply, shaking her head when Hunter’s expression remained blank. She watches as her older brother turns one last time towards the incline of the city before shaking his head and walking away from the group.

“Hunter, do you realize what you always do whenever she’s around?” As always, Omega refuses to let things go and follows him down to the shore.

“Not sure what you’re referring to.”

“For someone who constantly loves breaking things down to all of us, you sure are slow.” The little girl laughs as she skips ahead and stands in front of him, blocking him from going down any further. Hunter shakes his head and quickly steps around her, praying to the maker that she would leave him alone, even for a little while, so he can ruminate on his emotions.

“You need to be nicer to her.” That seems to do the trick, and Omega barely manages to hold back her smile when her brother turns around quickly and frowns at her.

“When was I not nice to her?” He’s hurt, more by the fact that there is a chance he did, in fact, do something and didn’t realize it.

“Oh I don’t know, every time she comes by and you give her that death stare you’re giving me right now.” Omega takes a defensive stance, narrowing her eyes at her brother when he continues to look at her so sternly.

“I- I don’t do that.”

“Yes. Yes you do.”

The harsh expression is gone in a second, and it takes Omega far too long to realize that Hunter may be telling the truth. He looks more hurt than irritated, and Omega understands immediately why her normally aware and intelligent brother is behaving in such a way.

“Try to talk to her the next time you see her.” She expects him to respond right away, but when Hunter turns around and walks down the pathway to the beach, Omega knows it’s best to leave him alone.

Unlike all the other times Hunter came down to the shore, he finds himself more relaxed than ever. The sounds of the waves as they crash near his feet quickly becomes white noise, and he meditates on Omega’s comments. Was he really staring at you so coldly every time you came by? Was that the reason why you’re always so reluctant to hold a conversation with him?

Kriff, what if you were afraid of him?

He didn’t like that idea. The thought of being someone you fear nearly sends Hunter into a frenzy, and although he wants nothing more than to go to you and ask you what he can do to prove himself otherwise, he remains where he is, falling backward into the sand and praying the coarse sensation can distract him from his mind long enough until he can find a solution to this problem.

With each turning wave, Hunter slowly drifts to sleep, but just as his body surrenders completely to the fatigue coursing through his veins, he feels someone approaching him. He jolts awake instantly, getting to his feet in record time and turning around just as he takes the vibroblade out of its holster.

It takes a few seconds for his mind to catch up with what his eyes are seeing, and when he recognizes you, he takes a few steps back and drops the weapon to the ground, knowing that he may have just made things a little worse than before.

“Kriff, I didn’t know it’s you. I thought it was…nevermind.” He doesn’t bother explaining himself, knowing that nothing he can say will make this moment any better. Hunter expects you to run away, but when you don’t budge, he dares to look up at you.

Instead of finding the concerned expression he’s grown to expect from you, he sees you smiling softly at him. Hunter doesn’t know what to do, mostly because you’ve managed to disarm him so easily, without any effort.

Then you take a step towards him, and Hunter feels his heart skip a beat. Against his better judgment, he takes another step back, afraid of scaring you unintentionally should you be within arm’s reach.

“Hunter.”

It’s the first time he’s ever heard you call him by his name, and something about the way you continue to smile at him as you ring your fingers nervously makes him set aside his nerves and look into your eyes.

“May I come closer?” The question surprises him more than anything. He thought he would need to be the one to approach you if he ever wanted to make you think better of him. Not trusting his own voice, he nods briefly and focuses his gaze to the sand beneath his feet.

With each step you take, Hunter thinks his heart may leap out of his chest all of a sudden, and it’s only when you’re right in front of him that he realizes your own heart rate isn’t as frenzied as it tends to be whenever you’re around him. Before he can think of what might happen next, he watches as you slowly reach up and cup his cheeks, the warmth of your palms simultaneously feeling like molten lava and simmering vapor against his own skin.

“I didn’t mean to scare you, I’m sorry.” If he didn’t have heightened senses, Hunter is sure he would have never heard the whispered apology. He pouts at you when he finally understands what you just said, but you don’t give him a chance to say anything else, letting go of his face so you can give him some space.

Thinking that you’re about to leave him again, Hunter reaches out and grabs your wrist, stopping you from walking away any further from him. You look down at where he’s holding you, and Hunter curses himself for letting his body follow through his intrusive thoughts.

“I’m sorry, I- I shouldn’t have…”

“It’s fine.” You cut him off, not once dropping your smile as you twist your wrist in his grip until you intertwine your fingers with his own. Hunter breaks eye contact to stare down at where you’re touching him. He longs to pull you into his arms until you forget everyone else, but he remembers what Omega said earlier and frowns at the thought of you fearing him.

“What’s the matter?” You snap him out of his haze, refusing to let go of his hand even when his grip loosens around you. It takes Hunter a few minutes to find the words to respond to you, and he hopes that he isn’t reading you wrong.

“I never meant to make you uncomfortable.” He wants to say so much more, but he hears your heart rate pick up and he knows he’s doing it all over again, whatever it is that always made you so afraid of him. Maybe it was the proximity, or the fact that he literally held a kriffing knife to you not so long ago.

“Hunter, you don’t make me uncomfortable.” Your response comes instantly, and Hunter doesn’t like the fact that you might be telling him what you think he wants to hear. It’s unnerving.

“You- you don’t have to lie to me. I can hear your heartbeat mesh’la. Every time I come closer to you, or try to- to talk with you, your heartbeat screams at me…begs me to stop before you run away from me.” He knows he can’t look you in the eyes now, not because he doesn’t want to, but because he might scare you again like Omega said.

It’s quiet for longer than he likes to admit, and when he thinks you won’t respond to him, he lets go and slowly makes his way back to the walkway.

Before he reaches the stone path towards the city, he feels your arms wrap around his body so tightly that he grows a little concerned. Hunter looks down and sees your fingers dig into his shirt. He doesn’t know what’s going on. All he knows is that you’re refusing to let go of him, and your heart rate is rivaling his own.

“Please,” the whimpered plea catches him off guard and although he knows he should ask you if you’re unwell, he says nothing, and instead rests his hands on top of your own. You’re practically shaking against him, and Hunter’s anxiety reminds him, yet again, of how he is when he’s nervous.

“Don’t go.” The request is music to his ears, and he turns to the side to try and glance at you. You’re pushing your cheek into his back and holding tightly onto him, and if Hunter were a better man, he would have waited until you were ready to tell him what you want.

But he wasn’t a better man, he was a desperate one.

And he really wanted to hear you say that again.

Without thinking twice of what he’s doing, he unravels your arms from around him and faces you quickly, not giving you a chance to say anything as he pulls you into his chest and wraps his arms around you. It only takes you a few seconds to mirror his actions, and when he feels your body melt into him, he thanks the heavens that you were brave enough to stop him from leaving.

He’s not sure how long he remains standing with you in his arms, but when your heartbeat no longer threatens him, he pulls back and looks down at you, long enough for you to realize that he wants you to meet his gaze.

“Mesh’la.” Hunter is a hairbreadth away from you when he whispers that word again, and while you want to ask him what it means, you know it would be best for the both of you if you were to tell him what you always run away when he tries to speak with you.

“Hunter, you don’t make me uncomfortable…you never have.” Hunter takes a deep breath, knowing it’s best if he lets you elaborate on your confession.

“It’s just that…you make me nervous.” You hold onto him tighter as soon as you say those words, and Hunter raises his eyebrows in shock, only for his expression to fall again when you break eye contact with him and throw yourself into his chest.

“You make me nervous. Ever since you arrived…I can’t help it.” When he feels you growing anxious again, he slowly roams his arms across your back in an attempt to calm you down.

“You look at me with such a direct gaze and I- I…” Your inability to put into words what you’re feeling makes Hunter wish he would have had this conversation with you sooner. He smiles to himself as he pushes you away so he can get a better look at you. You reluctantly let go and raise your attention to him, biting into your lower lip when you see his hazel gray eyes stare into your own until they hold you captive.

“Cyare…I feel the same way.”

It’s all you need to hear to grow at ease in his embrace, and when Hunter leans down, you shut your eyes in anticipation of what’s to come.

Then you feel his lips brush against your forehead, and you understand then that there will never be anyone else.

It will always be Hunter.

#cxrcs.round2 #tbb hunter x reader #hunter x reader #sergeant hunter x reader #tbb hunter #hunter tbb x reader #the bad batch #clone x reader

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r1verlotusf1ower · 7 months

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Commander Cody and my OC Taetumn Fritis!

I created my OC when the show first came out, (I couldn’t decided between Togruta or Twi’lek, they’re both pretty awesome species) but as I got older I decided it was too cliche, and turned it into a human, but I became undecided about her character, so just for childhood sake, I combined Togruta and Twi’lek! (Sketched like 2021, kinda recent but not)

Cliche Ik, or not idc, 6/7 year old me wanted it.

She’s also the Padawan to Obi-Wan and guess whaaaaat

Her first story is publish on wattpadddd *le gasp* 😱

The first one is how she became Obi-Wan’s Padawan and the second link is just one chapter and it gives a small glimpse into her beginning :D

#self taught artist #sketch #clones #commander cody #star wars #clone wars #star wars oc #padawan #togruta #twilek #obi wan kenobi #wattpad #fanfic #clone wars fanfiction

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corrieguards · 1 year

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@ghostofskywalker just did the last line tag game and it looked fun so i'm gonna chip in too

Ironically enough, I also just finished a writing sprint, although admittedly not the one on discord my social anxiety will not let me interact on there.

rules: share the last line you wrote in your wip then tag as many people as there are words!

"Yeah, me too. But we’ll get through it meshla” he tilts his head to press a kiss to your cheekbone, tasting the salty residue, his own eyelashes still wet and heavy

"We’ll get through it. Together.”

This is from one of my clonexreader bingo WIPs, brownie points if y'all can guess which boi it's for <3

I wasn't technically tagged so i won't tag anyone, but I'd love to see all of yours if y'all feel like sharing <33

#tag game #i cheated and added a bit more than a line but i wanted to include it all so it's ok lmao #tori 🐙

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sluttyclonetrooper · 4 years

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hi here is some porn (sev x reader)

read the ao3 tags to be sure that's your kind of stuff!

#fanfiction #oneshot #smut #star wars #republic commando #sev #RC-1207 #clone commando #clonexreader

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toomanybandstocare · 9 months

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{Candy Cane Cupid}

Program: Holidays come around every year with mixed emotion. Excitement buzzes as clones celebrate their first Life Day with their partners after the war. Disappointment is pushed to the back of your mind as you keep yourself busy at work while your riduur is away. Mischief is in the air when Cupid finally reveals his holiday surprise for you.

Pairing: Commander Wolffe x Bartender, GN! Reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Length: 2017w

Warnings: Mention of candy cane, alcohol + club scene, bittersweet emotions around the holidays, barely edited bc my brain is v smooth from work, probs slight out of character Wolffe (see counselor note below), barely edited as usual oops

Camp Resolute Masterlist

ClonexReader Masterlist

For the lovely @sinfulsalutations - Happy fic exhange and holiday season! I hope you enjoy. ^_^ I tried to make it a lil Hallmark moment. Part of the Life Day Exchange for @cloneficgiftexchange hosted by Ghost.

Prompt: 79s For @clonexreaderbingo event hosted by Ghost.

Counselor Note: I apologize if it's not that festive or good. Been in a funk as of recently, but I had fun writing this and trying to explore Wolffe as a character more. I know he's more stoic and serious in canon, but I wanted to explore how he would balance happiness, relaxation, and the familiarity of pulling rank during post war.

It seems like all of Coruscant has decided to spend the evening out amongst the city levels for holiday celebrations. Still only a year since the Clone Wars were won, everyone carries a warm happiness and joyfulness as they weave through club lines with their friends. Former troopers gather in boisterous groups outside of clubs, eagerly waiting for their first Life Day celebration. The usual clubbers are surrounded by new faces who easily share their nervousness and excitement for what the night may bring.

79s, normally vibrant with yellow and orange neon lights, now welcome tonight’s guests with more festive colored lighting and music. Even the tired club staff seem to be able to find one last bit of energy to push through the night with the holiday cheer.

The tips of your fingers sting from gripping the chilled shaker as your gaze flits across the crowd of dancers and party goers. The small semblance of hope that you kept tucked away deep in your heart slowly sizzles when you can’t find a gray battalion ribbon in the crowd of troopers. Red ribbons pack tightly into a booth as they play a game of Sabbac and try to teach their partners. Blue ribbons spread across the dance floor as they find dates for the evening. Orange ribbons stick close to the end of the bar as they share a flight of beer and stories. Not a single gray ribbon in the crowd to be found tonight. Your chest constricts, squeezing all the air out of your lungs in disappointment. The last flicker of hope fizzles and stings your heart. Hitting the shaker against the bartop harder than intended, you pour a bright blue cocktail into its glass and slide it over to a giggling patron. You watch with yearning as she’s pulled into the side of her partner, who sports a green ribbon, before they maneuver through the growing mass of people to join their friends.

“Still no sign of Wolffe?” Kiva carefully asks. Walking past you from the side entrance of the bar with a crate of seasonal beer, he squats down to the small fridge at the base of the bar shelves. He looks up at you with a concerned expression as he slides the fridge door open.

“He said he wasn’t even sure if he was going to be in the system even after Life Day,” you casually explain. Darting your tongue over your bottom lip, you shrug and turn to grab a new drink slip. Unable to meet Kiva’s all too familiar sympathetic gaze, you grab the mixers and spirits for the next order. Your heart races out of rhythm to the upbeat songs pulsing through the club. As the liquids spill into your new shaker, your stomach knots and twists leaving agony to swim through your body.

“I don’t even know why I’m bothering to look for him. The last we spoke, he and Plo Koon were just summoned to attend the peace accords on Soreno,” you breathlessly ramble. Once the final words tumbles past your lip, your throat tightens and you slam the top of the shaker shut before Kiva can reassure you.

Guilt stings the back of your neck as you shake the drink above your shoulder. The day that Wolffe shared that he was reinstated as a Marshall Commander, you immediately called for celebration. All his closest brothers and your friend group filled into a bar just down the street from your shared home. It wasn’t until the two of you fell into bed and silence separated you from Wolffe’s bliss that you realized the two of you wouldn’t have a different life after the war. Wolffe would still be systems away from you a majority of the time. The realization sank in further when he couldn’t wish you a happy birthday in person with the rest of your loved ones. A solemn understanding was made when he missed your two year anniversary to help with an aid mission. The mundane moments and memories you had hoped to create with Wolffe were nothing like the ones that your friends share of their partners' first year away from the GAR.

Not even realizing that you had slowed your actions, a gentle hand takes the shaker from yours and pours it into the glass in front of you. With a sigh, you face Kiva’s kind, understanding expression after he slides the drink over to a trooper with a yellow ribbon.

“Give him a call. Maybe you’d be surprised by the answer?” he softly encourages. Hope and mischief dance across his face while he grabs your hand to pull you away from the order line.

“Why would I do that when I already know the answer?” you tiredly push back. Fatigue and numbness wrap around your bones, and you can only stumble after Kiva out of the bar. “It’s not even my break yet for the second half. Not to sound too pessimistic, but I’d rather just work the doubles if I can’t spend the holidays with my partner”.

“Well,” Kiva exclaims, “Call me your candy cane cupid, because I have a surprise for you.” He winks and pulls you through the group of women with glittering dresses and warm sweaters.

Your heart hammers against your eardrums at Kiva’s words. “What do you mean?” you hastily ask. Kiva’s laughter mixes with the music while the two of you weave through the clusters of clones towards the CO table, a now long standing tradition at 79s even after the war. When you break through the last wall of party goers, the entire club blurs around you.

Kiva steps to your side, and the booth is empty with all but one person sitting behind the table with two glasses of Corellian whiskey. Ambient lighting dances across Wolffe’s tired expression, and you can just make out the small smile pulling at the corner of his lips. One that only makes a fleeting appearance when you’re nearby or mentioned in conversation.

“Happy Life Day,” Kiva expresses with a beaming smile, “Now go celebrate and enjoy the holiday festivities”.Before you can even thank him, Kiva shoots you a wink and disappears into the crowd once more.

You watch in disbelief as that rare smile grows across Wolffe’s face while he moves out of the booth.Without a second thought, you stumble through the last few troopers wearing gray ribbons to throw yourself into Wolffe’s arms. “I thought you said you weren’t going to be home until after the holiday,” you choke out into his chest. Warm amber and musk mix to create Wolffe’s signature cologne, and you press yourself further into his embrace. His calloused hands roam across your back leaving sparks in their wake even when separated by your clothing.

“Your friend cupid has his ways,” Wolffe chuckles. His heart hammers as he reacquaints himself with your touch. How it feels to have his riduur in his arms once more. How the sound of your voice eases every worry from his mind. How being with you feels like home. Sliding his hands to your waist, he carefully pulls you from his body to fully be able to see you. Wolffe admires the small changes in your appearance as hues of blue, gold, and purple dance across your face. For just a moment, everything feels at peace. The anxiety of moving to another system in a few cycles disappears. None of the teasing remarks from his younger brothers get under his skin. Only you matter, and all the tension from his body dissipates. “Sorry, I got distracted. How are your eyes so pretty?” he murmurs almost to himself.

“Didn’t know you could be such a sap,” you sniffle with a light laugh. “You still haven’t answered my question.”

Wolffe’s smile softens with remorse. “I know I haven’t been around as much as either of us had hoped. And I know I’ve let you down when I’ve missed important milestones for us this year. I wanted to make sure we could spend our first Life Day together,” he explains.

“I don’t want you to feel like you’ve done anything wrong,” you rush to assure him. Tears sting your lasline from the overwhelming storm of emotion raging inside you. When you move to wipe the stray tears escaping, Wolffe tenderly cups your cheek with his hand. His calloused fingertip carefully traces the planes of your face and wipes away the tear from your cheek.

“I don’t,” Wolffe reassures you. “I know that this isn’t what we had imagined for either of our lives after the war, and I don’t want us to drift apart because of that. I’m here because I need you to understand that nothing is going to stop me from coming home to you. Nothing was going to stop me from spending Life Day with you this year or any year in the future, alright?”

All the loneliness and yearning from the cycles spent alone crash down onto you. Tears freely fall down your cheeks as you tuck yourself into the crook of Wolffe’s neck. “I’ve missed you so much,” you admit. “I didn’t want to say anything, because I know how much Plo and the GAR means to you, but I’ve missed you so much.” Your voice breaks at the end of your confession, and you pull away from his body to wipe your tears from your face.

“I’ve missed you, cyar’ika. More than you could imagine,” Wolffe mumbles into the top of your head. His heart stings at your cries, and he wraps his arms around you in a tight embrace. “I’m home now. It’s going to be okay, yeah? We’re going to figure this out”.

You let Wolffe guide you into the booth, and the two of you settle into the far corner. Draping your legs over his lap, you tuck yourself into his side and look at him in adoration. “We’re both a mess without each other, huh? Have absolutely no idea what to do without the other,” you tease. Wolffe chuckles and nods after taking a sip of his whisky. He ducks his head to press his lips to the shell of your ear and whispers: “Tell anyone and we may just have to leave early.” His warm breath tickles across your neck, and he squeezes your thigh as the rest of the Wolfpack join you with their partners.

For the first time during the holiday season, you’re able to sink into Wolffe’s arms and enjoy the company around you. Not a single member of the pack or their partners neglect to see how you’ve been. Plans begin to easily come into creation to squeeze in a few more holiday outings for you and Wolffe to join. A glimpse of the life that you hoped to create with Wolffe after the war finally playing out. Yet, it wouldn’t have happened if it weren’t where you were currently at in life.

During a bout of laughter, you look over to Wolffe and find him already gazing at you with that all too familiar smile tugging at his lips. You cup his jaw and press a fleeting kiss to the corner of his mouth. Pulling away, the two of you share a look of adoration before sharing a soft kiss in the privacy of your own world. The two of you fall into rhythm with each other as if no time had passed. Lost in the moment, it’s not until his brothers start to howl and their partners tell them to leave you and Wolffe alone that the two of you break from the kiss.

“Mind your damn business,” Wolffe barks back to his snickering brothers. “How many times did I turn a blind eye to when you brought back your cy’are to the barracks?” Instantly the snickers silence as the older brothers laugh at the young clones.

Rolling his eyes as the conversation redirects to tomorrow’s outing, Wolffe pulls you closer into his side. Pressing a tender kiss to your temple, he rests his forehead against yours. “Happy Life Day, riduur”.

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toomanybandstocare · 1 year

Text

{Relationship Firsts}

Program: It's not often that Rex feels insecure or shies away from the people he cares about most. But as your relationship progresses, he finds that the burdens and scars of war will always sit heavy on his skin. The weight of it all comes crashing down on Rex, and he has you to reassure him that he's more than worthy of your love.

Pairing: Captain Rex x GN! Reader -> Early Relationship

Genre: Hurt / Comfort & Smut -> Minors Do Not Interact

Length: 4581w

Camp Resolute's Masterlist

ClonexReader Bingo

Prompt: Blanket Seventh entry for the @clonexreaderbingo

Warnings: Couple of swears, Insecurity, No protection, No explicit aftercare (but they cuddle and i end it there bc smut is intimidating), Rex is more sub-leaning / on the receiving end of the attention

Counselor Notes: I think that's it for warnings? Idk how to tag smut really, so please lmk if I missed anything. Please be nice - this is my second attempt at smut, and I'm still fingering out how to write it with gender neutral. Feel pretty good about it though! Definitely easier to write this time compared to the other time

Rex's Fan Club (moots that I think would want to see this lol nut no pressure at all): @starboytech @starrylothcat <3

Warm sunbeams stream through the shutters to slowly cover the bedroom in a soft glow. Early morning birds quietly call out to their mates as they wake for the day. The bed sheets rustle as legs tangle together in a sleepy dance. Water lazily babbles from the small stream just beyond the cottage you and Rex call home for a few weeks while vacationing to Naboo. The first of many the two of you look forward to sharing with each other.

Large, calloused hands roam over your body and squeeze your hips drawing a sigh from your lips. You hook one leg over Rex’s hip to bring yourself closer to him. The lightweight blankets and bed sheets drape over your bodies and wrap the two of you in a soft comfort. As his hand slowly trails down your thigh, your skin tingles underneath his touch. Neither of you had the energy to change into pajamas after your day of travel and the lingering summer heat sizzling through the room alongside the cicadas singing last night.

“Good morning, handsome,” you sleepily hum. You dart your tongue over your dry lips and feel Rex’s chuckle rumble against your chest.

Rex’s eyes slowly blink open, and his heart swells at the sight of your curled figure wrapped in his arms. Rolling out the minor ache in his neck, a low moan builds in his chest and comes out with a sigh. Rex tilts his head down, and he lightly nudges your jaw with his nose.

“G’morning, mesh’la,” he greets you. His voice thick with drowsiness as he slowly reacquaints himself with the real world.

As he takes in the soft smile that tugs at the corner of your lips to the lingering tingles from where your foot trails over his legs, Rex counts his stars that this is the reality he calls home. Craning his neck up, Rex places a chaste kiss on your lips. A low hum builds at the back of his throat as you sigh into this kiss. His heart hammers against his chest when you part your lips, and Rex nips at your bottom lip. He presses a gentle kiss where he bit before lazily deepening the kiss. Rex wraps one arm underneath you to rest his palm against your lower back, and his other hand squeezes just below your knee that rests on his waist.

As a soft moan slips from your lips melts with Rex’s content hums, you pull yourself deeper into his embrace. Resting your hands on his shoulders, you trail your fingertips across and down into the dip of his collarbone. You feel Rex’s breath hitch underneath your gentle touch, and your mind spirals. A spark of pride spreads through you that only you get to hear the beautiful sounds this man makes. As you trail your hands further to his pecs, you feel his heart race beneath the pads of your fingertips. Your breathing grows as the kiss devolves into a messy makeout. One you can tell Rex is desperately trying not to indulge himself too much with. His body feels taught against your own, but his muscles twitch each time a gasp slips from your lips or you try to squeeze your thighs around his leg.

As Rex pulls away from you slowly, he feels light headed as his gaze flickers over your blissed out expression. Carefully pressing his body into yours, Rex lays you on your back. His hand slips from your back to softly trail across your skin to hold your waist. A pang hits his heart as he feels your body tremble underneath his fingertips until they reach a well-worn, soft fabric on the slope of your stomach. The blankets twist and tangle with your bodies, and a small laugh escapes his mouth when he realizes the flimsy cover separating the two of you.

“May I?” Rex quietly pleads. His mouth parts slightly as his breathing grows slightly heavier as he takes in the sight of you sprawled on the pillows with a warm light glowing around you. His cheeks flush as you peer up at him through your eyelashes.

“Please,” you sigh. You trail your hands over his chest. A faint scar slices across his skin between his pecs, and you lightly trace it. With the small movement, all warmth and comfort evaporates from the air.

Rex’s breathing freezes at your touch and anticipation hangs thick around him. His nerves spark through his body as you quietly appraise the mark. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Rex takes your hand in his with a weak laugh. He hopes it’s enough to cover his growing anxiety as he quickly presses a kiss to your fingertips. “How about I draw you a bath instead, hm?” he offers. Shame washes over him as he tries to shield his deepest insecurities with his offer. The desperation to be as close to you as possible now twists in a need to distance himself as far as possible. Before he ever sees your look of disgust at his marred skin.

“Rex? What’s wrong?” you ask with concern. The sudden shift in his demeanor strikes a cold dread through you. “Did I do something wrong?,” you rush to ask, “If you don’t want to have sex, I’m more than okay with that. We don’t have to do anything you’re not ready for. Whatever you’re comfortable with. We can take it at your pace”. You try to reach out to him, but Rex squeezes your hands to stop you.

“No,” he rushes to reassure you. Rex pulls away from you, dragging the blankets with him. “I-I’m sorry. I don’t,” he stumbles over the heavy weight pressing down on his tongue, “You didn’t do anything wrong. The opposite in fact. I adore getting to know you on a more intimate connection”. Rex's eyes widen as anxiety crawls across his skin. His mouth dries out as you look up at him in concern. Dropping your hands, Rex carefully slips off you and sits on the corner of the bed. The cool summer air pricks his skin, and he holds his head in his hands. His chest shudders as Rex forces deep breaths through his constricting lungs. “You did nothing wrong. I promise,” he quietly calls out. Rex doesn’t even recognize his own voice from how it shakes. The words catch on his tongue and break when they hang in the air.

Your heart sinks as Rex pulls away and curls into himself. Gripping the sheets and blankets in your white knuckled fingers, you carefully separate the throw blanket and gather it in your arms. Slowly, you slip out of bed and take a few steps to stand just in front of Rex. “May I?” you softly offer and motion with the blanket.

Peering through his fingers, Rex thinks for a moment. A whirlwind of noncoherent thoughts and fears spiral through his mind causing a dull throb of pain to sear against his forehead. Exhaling a slow breath through his nose, Rex tries to get a grip on the wash of nerves upsetting his stomach. “Please,” he accepts. Rex’s voice comes out a haggard call for help and betrays him as he tries to shield himself.

You move around him with care as you normally would. As you wrap the blanket over his shoulder, you drop to your knees. “Could you hold this?” you softly ask. The frayed fabric feels smooth to your touch, and you hope that it helps Rex feel comforted. It takes a few moments before he drops his hands from his face and takes the blanket from your grasp. His movements stab your heart as he’s careful not to touch you. Letting him pull his hands to his chest, you drop your hands to your thighs. “Talk to me, Rex. How can I help?” you softly ask. Your gaze flickers over his nervous expression causing your stomach to twist and churn.

Rex darts his tongue over his dry lip and pulls the blanket closer around him. “It’s…it’s nothing serious, I promise. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to react like that,” he slowly tries to explain. A whirlwind of emotions and half formed thoughts race through his mind making Rex’s skull sting. “There are times where you say these … these kind words and compliments to me, and I just can’t accept them,” Rex confesses. His eyebrows furrow as he looks up at you in confusion.

“I can hold off on that if you’d like,” you suggest. Your fingers twitch, and you drum them across your thighs. Desperately trying not to reach out and hold your lover when all you want to do is show him how cruel his mind is being. That he deserves all the respect, adoration, and love in the galaxy rather than being thrown into a fight both on the battlefield and his mind.

Rex quickly shakes his head. Looking at you with wide eyes, Rex rushes to clarify, “No. Please, I like it. Really. I just -”. The words stop short on Rex’s tongue as he tries to form a coherent explanation from the turbulent mix of emotions clouding him. “Part of me is afraid of you,” he spits out. Panic shoots through him as your eyes widen. “Kriff. No, wait,” Rex groans and presses the blanket into his eyes. Taking a deep breath, Rex drops his hands and looks you in the eye. “Part of me is afraid,” Rex slowly restarts, “that when we have sex or take a shower or go for a swim - whatever - that you’ll look at me … and see every single thing wrong with me. You’ll see all the scars, all the burns, all the nightmares that keep me up at night, all the flaws that I carry with me everyday, and I’ll have to watch the smile drop from your face or see your expression twist into disgust”. As his words hang in the air, Rex’s lungs constrict as he tries to decipher the thoughtful expression on your face. “I just don’t know if I’m strong enough to face that,” he quietly admits as he pulls his gaze away to focus on the frayed edges of the blanket he holds.

Your lip wobbles at his admission. Not out of anger that even with all the love and devotion you hold for him, he’s afraid that you’ll see him as less. Not because you feel hurt from his insecurities’ twisted version of you. Your heart feels heavy only from the helplessness that seeps into your soul as you try to understand how to support your lover. Disbelief overwhelms you while Rex crawls further into himself. How could a man who cares for others so deeply not love himself. How could this man who devotes himself to making sure the people he cares about are happy and safe, even if that means he carries their pain? You look at Rex and watch his walls crumble, and you feel as if you’re truly seeing him for the first time. “Rex,” you softly call out. When his amber eyes flicker to yours before darting back down to his hands, your fingers dig into your skin. Your heart races and slams against your chest. The thunderous pace echoes in your ears as you ask, “How can I help? Can I touch you, or would you rather I don’t for now?”

“You,” Rex slowly asks, “you want to touch me? You want to help? After I just told you that I’m afraid of you leaving me?” He looks at you with an incredulous look. Even though a flurry of nerves soars through him, the tension pressing down on his shoulders eases. Finally able to take a full breath, Rex’s mind begins to clear from the fearful thoughts nipping at the back of his head.

“Rex, you’re doing something incredibly brave that not a lot of people are able to do this early in a relationship. You’re talking to me rather than pushing me away,” you point out with a small laugh of relief. Every fiber of your being slowly relaxes as you begin to understand Rex’s reaction. With a soft and reassuring smile, you continue, “You care so much for the people you surround yourself with that you want to be the best you can for them. Whether that’s a friend, a brother, a fellow soldier, or a lover. But that also puts you on an unattainable pedestal”. Lightly biting down on the inside of your gum, you pause for a moment. “You can’t take everyone’s pain and balance it on top of yours. It will crush you,” you emphasize. “We’re all people. We’re all flawed. We all carry scars from the fights we’ve survived. We’re all a little messed up, but that’s because we’re alive. We’re alive and learning how to be better versions of ourselves,” you breathe out. “But we can only do that if we’re brave enough to be vulnerable and talk to people we trust when we feel overwhelmed with wounds we’re healing”.

Your chest rises and falls quickly. Faint bird calls and rustling leaves from just outside the cottage soften the silence that envelops the room. “I don’t know if that’s helpful,” you say. “What I’m trying to get at is that you’re not alone, Rex. Everyone has their fears and insecurities. And whenever it seems like it’s going well for once, they rear their ugly heads and try to mess things up. You’re such a thoughtful person that you try to help as many people as you can, but I’m worried that you haven’t been shown the same care”. Your legs prick as they fall asleep from kneeling for so long. Shifting your weight slightly, you tuck your hands between the cold tile and your achy knees. “If you’ll let me, I want to show you just how much love you deserve. Because you deserve everything in the galaxy, Rex. Every compliment that causes your cheeks to flush. All the tender touches that you lean into. And especially time to relax and decompress from everything you have been put through”.

Rex’s chest swells. All the tension that locked his body eases into a more comfortable weight, but it doesn’t melt away completely. Rex’s gaze drops to your legs as you shift your weight once more, and a flush of shame stings the back of his neck. “C’mere, cy’are,” he gently calls for you. Opening his arms, Rex’s heart races as you step up and into his arms. Your hands move to caress his jaw, but they hesitate for a moment. The small action nearly knocks the wind out of him. For once, Rex can determine where his limits are. He can explore what his boundaries are rather than having them tested in the most turbulent moments of his life. Wrapping his arms around your waist, Rex wastes no time pulling you into him. A small hum tickles his lips as he rests his forehead on your torso as you cup his jaw.

“Can I take care of you, Rex?,” you plead. “I adore and accept you for who you are. Scars and all, I like you just the way you are”. Rex’s thick fingers press into your back as a low groan vibrates against your stomach causing a flurry of butterflies to fly in your stomach. Trailing your hands down his neck, you feel his jaw clench before you rest your hands on his blanket-clad shoulders. “Let someone else take the lead for a change,” you as you reach down to press a kiss to the crown of his head, “Would you like that?”

Rex cranes his neck to peer up at you. His cheeks sting with a light flush. “Please, cy’are,” he breathes out. A flame of need sparks inside his stomach, and Rex’s heart rate quickens when one of your hands slips underneath the blanket. The other slightly trails back up his neck. Your soft touch lingering on his pulse point makes him shudder a breath before one of your fingers tilts his chin upward. When Rex lays his eyes on you, no words could describe how ethereal you look in this moment. The bright morning rays beam around you, casting a glow throughout the room. A pang hits his chest and spreads through him, and Rex’s breathing picks up as you look at him with such tenderness. “I need you to show me the love I deserve”.

“You never have to ask me for that, Rex. Lay back for me, love,” you coax. Your fingertips lightly trail over his shoulders, and you push the blanket off him.

With a shaky breath, Rex eases himself onto the plush bed. The soft sheets and comfort invite his tense body to relax. To let himself selfishly let go of all the weight that makes his bones ache. His eyes flicker over your body as he watches you carefully straddle him. Where the two of you meet, sparks ignite underneath Rex’s skin every time your touch brushes against him. All he can focus on is how you look at him with a caring expression as your hands trails over his chest.

Your hips slowly grind against his cock, pulling a hesitant groan of pleasure from Rex’s lips. “Doing so well for me, Rex,” you sigh. Pulling your hands from his chest, you lightly trace alongside his arms to guide his hands to your waist. “Tell me how you need me,” you breathe out. As you look down through your lashes, pride swells in your chest when Rex’s cheeks flush. The growing blush allows you to notice the faint freckles that peek through and make your heart skip a beat. You don’t think there’s a single other man in the galaxy that could look this beautiful.

“Cy’are, please,” Rex quietly mumbles. His mind begins to fog when you rock against his semi-hard cock. His fingers flex into the plushness of your waist, trying to hold himself back from bucking up into you. Sweat pricks his forehead, and it feels as if his skin has been lit aflame. From your tender care to the simmering emotions at the back of his mind, Rex feels sensitive to your gentle caress. Darting his tongue across his bottom lip, Rex closes his eyes with a low moan when you bend down to kiss his neck. Your lips feel feather light in contrast to the thundering rush at his pulse point when you lightly bite down to leave a love bite.

Pulling away from his neck with a soft kiss to the mark you left, you hum: “Going to have to be more specific, love”. A faint whine breaks past Rex’s lips, and he takes in a sharp inhale when you still your hips. You rest your arms on either side of his head to lean down and hover just above him. Your lips barely touch his as you tease, “Use your words, pretty boy. As much as I love to hear all your little whimpers and moans, you need to tell me how you want me to fuck you”.

Rex’s fingers dig into your body while his heart hammers in his chest. Everything feels overwhelmingly hot to the touch. A whirlwind of lust and desire rages inside him as Rex tries to process your words, but the only thing he can latch onto is how soft you feel. Desperate to pull you closer, Rex’s voice drops as he begs, “I need you to make me forget everything else. Just need you, only you”.

“Doing so well for me, Rex. Need you to move your legs closer to me, alright?” you encourage him. Rex carefully pulls his legs up so his thighs support your back. Pressing a kiss to the corner of his mouth, you lean on one arm to guide one of his hands to your upper thigh. Desire pools in your stomach as you let Rex explore your body. Your core aches as his fingers trail up your thigh, and his middle finger ghosts over your entrance. “Look at me,” you whimper, “Want to see your gorgeous eyes, Rex”.

Rex’s eyes flutter open, and his heart hurts from how stunning you look above him. His gaze flickers across your face as he sinks one finger into you. Every detail of your expression that changes with ecstasy as he starts to prep you, Rex commits it to memory. Never wanting to forget the moment he finally realized what love is supposed to feel like.

Your core aches with need as Rex’s finger just barely grazes your sensitive spot. Grinding down his hand, you try to press him closer to where you need him most, but all it pulls is a frustrated whine as Rex somehow curls his finger just in time to avoid hitting it. “More,” you moan and look down at him with a half-hooded gaze. Your cheeks flame as a small smirk quirks at the corner of Rex’s lips. Even though this morning is focused on Rex’s needs, something in the back of your mind recognizes that he needs to feel some semblance of control before he can fully relax. Letting him take care of you in this moment, your mouth parts in a silent moan as he adds another thick finger to stretch you.

Rex’s cock aches and drips with precum when your walls squeeze around his fingers. Watching with a hazy gaze as his fingers pump inside of you, Rex bites down on his lip to hold back a strangled groan. His head falls back onto the plush mound of blankets behind him, and Rex feels himself start to sink into blissful anticipation. Over the rush of pleasure coursing through him, Rex can faintly hear you praise him. Your tender voice sends shivers down his spine, and he can’t help quickening his mevements. After a few more curls of his fingers, Rex feels you shudder as you let out an airy moan. “Please, mesh’la. Need to feel you around my cock. Been so good for you,” Rex begs. His voice strains when your hand drags lazily from his wrist to the patch of curls just above where he needs your touch most.

“Been so good for me, Rex. My beautiful boy - going to give you just what you need because you asked so kindly,” you hum. Your heart stammers when Rex carefully pulls his hand away from you and rests it on your hip once more. Grasping his thick cock, you lightly give him a few pumps and spread the precum building at the tip up his length. You watch Rex hiss and arch his back off the bed. His strong thighs tense as you lean back against them and line his tip to your entrance. Pausing just before you continue, you move your other hand on his hip to steady yourself. Something sits heavy on your tongue as you watch the blush grow up his neck and hear him slur out a string of mando’a. Your voice drops as you remind him, “Eyes on me, Rex, or this stops right now”. In a flash, Rex’s neck cranes up so his molten gold gazed locks onto you. His needful expression makes your body sting with desire, and it flames throughout your core as you slowly sink onto his cock. It stretches you to the point where it makes you feel dizzy. Both of you moan when your hips rest against his. Your nails dig into his skin, and Rex’s moan breaks into a whimper.

“You alright, pretty?” you lightly pant. Your head still fuzzy with the buzzing excitement, but the sight of Rex’s lashes fluttering shut and his plush lips parting cause you to pause. Your breathing slows, but your heart beat is deafening. The sight of your lover beneath you - chest quickly rising and falling as his hands slightly shake while holding you - that sears a promise of devotion to this man across your skin, signed by the small bruises of his fingertips.

Rex peers up at you through his lashes. The morning rays now beam down behind you and highlight the planes of your body. A bead of sweat falls down the expanse of your neck, and Rex’s greedy gaze follows it. Your words fall mute on his ears as he sits up and wraps his arms around your waist to hold you as close as possible. His lips ghost the shell of your ear, “M-more, mesh’la. Need you closer”. Feeling you squeeze around him and rest your hands on the backs of his shoulders, Rex drops his head with a strained breath to trail his lips down your neck. He lightly drags his tongue to chase the sweat bead of sweat and lightly bites down. As you ride him, a mix between a whine and growl grows at the back of his throat. Rex rests his lips against the love bite and moans your name as you quicken your movements. Lost in how warm you feel wrapped around him and how your hearts race against your chests, Rex sinks into the comfort of your embrace. “Fuck,” he whimpers, “Cya’re, you’re doing so well. Never going to be able to go without you now”.

“Always going to be by your side, Rex,” you gasp. The tip of Rex’s cock hits your sensitive spot with each thrust, and you feel the burning pleasure bubble inside of you. Lightly dragging your nails from his shoulders down his back, you press your hands into the strong muscle of his torso to pull yourself closer to him. “I adore you. Nothing’s going to keep me from being with you,” you promise, “I can’t wait to fall in love with you, because you’re everything good in the galaxy”.

In that moment, Rex completely breaks under your tender touch and devotion. The last cord of control snaps inside of him, and Rex curses in Mando'a as his hips buck up to meet yours. His hands squeeze your waist in encouragement, and Rex pulls away from your neck to rest his forehead against yours. Warmth blazes between the two of you, which only makes Rex feel more dizzy as he meets your love drunk expression. With one last thrust, both of you moan each other’s names as you cum together.

Every part of your body stings with sensitivity when the searing pleasure finally snaps inside your core. Barely able to meet Rex’s blown out gaze, your eyes flutter shut momentarily while your chest arches into his. Even though your thighs shake, you continue to ride out your orgasm and pull soft sighs from Rex’s lips. His hands feel comforting while they smooth over your skin, leaving a trail of sparks wherever they touch. They press into your lower back when you ease off him, and Rex guides the two of you to lay on the bed once more.

Rex’s once hesitant touches, now grow needy as he traces the slopes and planes of your body with reverence. One hand comes to cradle the back of your neck and bring you to rest your head on his chest. His thundering heart rate begins to slow as he matches each of your breaths. Rex has always known that he carries the weight of war and his brother’s safety on his shoulders, but he’s never known just how heavy his responsibility and bleeding heart weighs. Until he’s been able to let himself rest and know another’s love.

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toomanybandstocare · 1 year

Note

26. “You're allowed to need help."

With Wolffe 🤭

{You Came, You Called}

Program: You don't know why it happens, or why it lasts for sometimes only a day or spans across months. There are days where you can't recognize the person looking back at you. On those days, there's only one person you trust to call for support. The is nothing in this galaxy that will prevent Wolffe from coming to your aid and caring for you with a tender love that's reserved only for you.

Pairing: Commander Wolffe x GN! Reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Length: 5016w

Warnings: This is about body dysmorphia (no appearance description of the reader's body, please read counselor note). Couple of swears, Anxiety, Petnames (cy'are, cyar'ika, sarad)

Counselor Note: First of all, thank you for the request Starry! No pressure to read this is, this is something you're not comfortable with. Now, this fic depicts body dysmorphia with the physical sensations I associate with it. Dysmorphia varies from person to person in how they experience and navigate life with it. That being said, this is just how I've experienced it and some of the things I do to help make myself feel as comfortable as I can on these days. I've written it so it focuses on the physical sensations that happen in a person's body rather than appearance. This is really just a self indulgent piece, because I think Wolffe especially would take care of someone with dysmorphia with the utmost care.

Camp Resolute Masterlist

Prompt List

ClonexReader Bingo Masterlist

Prompt: Memory Hosted by @clonexreaderbingo

Camper Tag List: @staygoldwriting @ladyzirkonia

Today greets you with a blade to your neck. An unsettling discomfort settles in your bones before you even open your eyes. Hearing the dull thuds and clasps clicking of your lover’s armor, your chest sears with loneliness. The words harden on your tongue as he presses a soft kiss to your temple. Desperately wanting to call out for help, you can’t force your body to listen to you as you hear Wolffe quietly walk away from the bedroom. With every step he takes, the stinging pain behind your forehead grows more intense. Just as you manage a small noise of distress, the front door hisses open to conceal the sound. Silence hangs in the air. It coils and thickens as it wraps itself around you in a suffocating embrace.

Coruscant has yet to awaken and ease into its early morning bustle. All the morning birds stay safely tucked away in their nests. Only the shadows passing by the curtained window announce the lingering taxi speeders quietly dropping off last night party goers. Not even the sun has dared to rise. What should have been a moment to enjoy a sliver of peace and quiet now strikes you with sickening unease.

Harsh air locks hiss as they release tension. Mechanical whirls irritate your ears before the door finally slides closed, and it leaves a stale feeling of dread that consumes the entire apartment. You press your face into your pillow to let a whimper escape from your chapped lips. Every sense of familiarity dissipates from your mind as the planes of your body sit heavy on your bones. Overstimulation stings your nervous system with every fiber that touches your skin. The blankets you picked out with Wolffe in excitement when moving in together now scratch you. Your favorite sleep shirt twists and pulls, constricting your breathing. Wolffe’s cologne lingers over his side of the bed, and it blocks your airway with each haggard breath you take.

All the comforts of home contort into a foreign reality, so close to the one you live in, that holds you hostage when it pleases. Swallowing the lump forming in your throat, you take a deep breath and slowly exhale it. So, it’s going to be one of those days. One where you have to navigate life in a body so different from the one you’ve grown up with. Yet, it’s the very same body that you used to feel comfortable just hours before you woke up. You close your eyes and try to find a comfortable spot to fall asleep again. However, the heavy aches and dips pressing down on your body make it difficult to slip into a peaceful slumber. Luckily, the sandman takes pity on you after some time and sends you into a deep sleep.

When your eyes slowly blink open, the dreadful pit forming in your chest grows. Glancing at the cronometer above your dresser mirror, your tired mind barely understands that it’s nearing lunch time now. “It’s okay,” you soothe yourself. Anxiety shakes your words as a light tremble courses through your body as you sit up in bed. “Just have to take the day as it is,” you remind yourself. Slipping out of bed, the cold tiles sting your feet as you pad over to the adjourning fresher. “My body changes and grows to support me and where I am in life. My body is healthy, and my mind is at peace. I am managing this the best I can, and that’s enough,” you slowly recite. The affirmations that Wolffe helped you develop flow from your mouth with growing difficulty. On the cabinet’s top shelf between the doorway and sink counter, you scan over your self care products and half used candles. As you reach up for your favorite scent, a dull ache pulls down on your arm muscles. Your heart thumps painfully against your chest. With fingers wrapped around the candle, you pull it down with a lighter.

The igniter hurts to spark when your thumb pushes down on the mechanism. Small flickers shoot into the air before they fizzle. Each failed attempt spurs your heart rate to quicken, and frustration flares through you. “For fuckssake,” you hiss. “Am I really that useless?”

Bringing both your hands abruptly to the marble counter, you squeeze your eyes shut and focus on your breathing. Wolffe’s voice echoes in your mind, and you can practically hear his scoff. His all too familiar eyeroll burns at the back of your head even though you know he’s already deep in managing today’s drills. You’re not useless. Try talking about my cy’are like that again and see where it lands you. You need to be especially kind to yourself on days that your mind challenges you. Remember? We’ve talked about this.

Pushing a deep breath out through your nose, you shake your head. “I’m trying,” you gasp. Exhaustion clouds your mind as it works overtime to discern the false reality you’re slowly being pulled into. Your hips hurt from the unbalanced weight that pulls down at you. The underside of your arms feel as if they’re nothing. A phantom pressure wraps around your chest sending your skin ablaze. “I’m trying to be kind to myself,” you hoarsely defend, “but how am I supposed to know what care I deserve when I can’t even recognize who’s looking back at me in the mirror?”

When you open your eyes, you feel as if you’re caught in free fall. Familiar eyes stare back at you in the mirror, but an unsettling vacancy glosses over them. Unable to pull your gaze away from the reflection, your mind screams at you to flee. Don’t do this to yourself. Don’t fall victim to a trap hidden in plain sight. Yet, you can’t break free from the twisted lies that root you in place.

Your eyes flicker over your appearance. Each change and difference that doesn’t look familiar is cataloged in your demons’ arsenal. The longer you search in the mirror for imperfection, the less you recognize yourself. Tears blur your vision and thicken the dark storm rumbling in your head. Dragging your eyes to meet the broken gaze that looks directly through you, a punch knocks the wind out of your chest.

Com me. Wolffe’s reminder barely noticeable above the raining ridicule that weighs you down. You’re not alone in this. You don’t have to go through this alone. We have a system in place to support you, but I need you to call me. I can’t come if I don’t know you need me.

“I don’t want to bother you,” you choke on your words. A cry for help screams from the back of your mind, but insecurities stifle it. “I can take care of myself. I’ve done it for so long now. What’s one more day?”

You’ve had to survive these experiences alone long enough now. It’s my responsibility to take care of you as your partner. Wolffe’s voice drops to a low rumble. I have always told you to call me. For anything. It doesn’t matter where I am or what time it is. It’s a privilege to care for you when you need the same support you offer to others . It’s an honor to love you, and one that I do not take lightly. Just give the word, and I will run home to you.

Sobs wrack your body. Lungs constricting from the quick breaths that you force yourself to take. A lightheadedness brews with the dysmorphic storm raging in your head. The entirety of your skin feels like pin pricks are lodging themselves deep into your tissue. Dips and aches shift your weight in uncomfortable areas while nausea crashes in your stomach.

Glass clinks onto the counter as metal skids across it. Racing out of the fresher, you haphazardly stumble back into the bedroom. Your frantic mind searches for the private comlink Wolffe gave you as your six month anniversary present.

Sheets fly into the air as you run your hands over the bed and under the pillow. The habit of sleeping with it by your side while he’s away never truly leaves you. Even if Wolffe sleeps right beside you.

The side table drawer snaps open, and you rummage through the scattered belongings. Always fighting a lingering anxiety of losing it, you try to keep the device in the same spot.

Your footsteps slap against the floor as you dash to your dresser. Wiping away the tears streaming down your face, you scan your gaze over the travel trinkets Wolffe’s sent you throughout the year and your day to day necessities. A frustrated whimper breaks into a sob when your eyes land on the comlink carefully placed by Wolffe’s cologne bottle.

As you hold the small device in your hand, you force air into your lungs with a few deep breaths. Just ask him when he’ll be home and get through the day until then. He doesn’t need more stress on top of physical exams and drill training right now. Slowly exhaling the last breath, when you click the call button a strike of pain flashes up your thumb and settles in your wrist.

The comlink barely chirps loud enough over the shouts, grunts, and blaring music in the base hangar. Fatigue already pulling at his body, Wolffe resists the urge to sit down with his fellow COs at the admin table. When the chirp comes through again, his eyebrows furrow. You know that the drills are today. A bite of unease gnaws at the back of his neck making the hair stand on edge. There’s only one reason you’d call him right now.

Wolffe catches Cody’s eye and signals that he’s taking five minutes before he walks off to a quieter area. A nervous pang hits his chest when a third chirp comes through, and he picks up the pace to a shipment area. Behind a stack of supply crates, Wolffe finds a semblance of privacy that does little to ease the building tension in his shoulders.

“Cy’are?,” Wolffe quietly answers as he holds up the comlink.

Your head jolts back as his voice comes through. The anxiety from waiting to see if he would respond now simmers into nerves of apprehension. What if he’s in the middle of something important?

A knot forms in his chest twists as a light static hangs in the air. “Cy’are, is everything alright? You don’t normally call me unless it’s an emergency,” Wolffe’s voice comes out gruff. More curt than he would usually speak with his partner from having to return from leave to act as a commanding officer for the day.

You wince. A moment of hesitation passes before you quietly respond, “When are you coming home?”

“I-,” Wolffe’s voice trails off as a group of troopers pass by laughing. Drill days are always a welcomed break from the usual debrief meetings and supply stocks. Clearing his throat, Wolffe sighs. “I don’t know. Depends on when we finish up today,” he explains. A curious tug pulls at the back of his mind. “Cy’are, you know better than to just com me unless it’s an emergency,” Wolffe chides. Stress from the chaos of physical exam day bleeds into his attitude towards you.

“I know” you murmur. His disappointment adds pressure to the additional weight you carry with you today. “I just miss you, is all. I’m sorry,” you softly apologize.

The unease travels from his neck to across his shoulders as it pricks at Wolffe’s skin. A new urgency from your shaking voice sends alarms wailing in his mind. “Is everything alright? Did anything happen?” he tries again more softly. His breathing slows down, as he hangs on the silence separating the two of you. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s running through that mind of your’s,” he softly coaxes you. Three little words faintly echo in the back of his mind. They gnaw at his composure, but Wolffe manages to keep himself collected. He has to make sure that everything happens at your pace.

Just as the phrase rests on the tip of your tongue, a flare of panic shoots through your chest. Tendrils of anxiety wrap around you and try to hold you back from calling out to Wolffe. Lungs squeezing and chest constricting, you feel lightheaded as you rush to say: “The mirror broke”.

A cold wave of dread washes over Wolffe. All his instincts yell at him to run home to you and make sure you’re safe. His chest rises and falls quickly. “What happened?” he presses you to elaborate. Careful that he heard your code phrase correctly before hurrying into action.

“The mirror broke, Wolffe,” you cry. Fresh tears sting your lash line as you try to catch your breath. Your nerves flames through you, and you lean on the dresser with your free hand to support yourself. “I-I just need to know when you’ll come home,” you shakily explain. “You don’t need to come home, yet. It’s okay,” you explain. As if caught in an undercurrent, your words sound watery and broken.

“Listen to me. I want you to go into the fresher and start a bath for us, okay?” Wolffe calmly urges you. Without a moment’s hesitation, Wolffe quickly leaves the shipment area and weaves through the mass of clones hanging out as they wait for their exams to begin. When he approaches, his brother’s greetings soon die on their tongues as they move out of his way. No one wants to come between Wolffe and wherever he’s set on being with the dark air of determination around him. “I’ll be home in thirty. Not that far from you, remember that”.

“I tried that,” you wheeze. “I couldn’t even light a candle, Wolffe. Everything hurts so bad,” you sob. Your palm sears in pain as your white knuckles flare against the dresser. “I didn’t want to pull you away from exam day, I know it’s important,” you explain.

“You’re allowed to need help. That’s why we set up this plan, but it only works if you let me know what’s happening. I’m so grateful and proud of that for calling,” Wolffe firmly reassures you. His heart hammers as he strides back into the main drill area. Holding himself tall, Wolffe approaches the CO table with a fierce air of determination. Nothing is going to get in the way standing by your side when you need him most, regardless of where the Republic needs him. You need him right now, and that’s all that matters. “Hold on for one minute. Can you do that for me?” he quietly asks as he nears the table.

“Course,” you sniff. Pushing off the dresser, you stumble towards your bed. Anticipation adds more weight pressing down on you. As soon as you’re a step away from the dresser, your knees buckle. Collapsing onto the bed, you whimper quietly as your hips ache from a flare of dull stings. Your achy hand carefully pulls the comforter from the corner to wrap yourself in some sort of comfort as you wait for Wolffe.

“Cody,” Wolffe barks out just steps before the table. All his batchmates' eyes lock onto him and widen in shock. Yes, they’re as close as brothers come, but there’s a certain line none of them cross when working alongside each other as soldiers. One that Wolffe steps over without a single fucking care. Not when it concerns your wellbeing and safety.

Cody sits up in his seat as his brother suddenly returns. He eyes the man carefully and notices the slight shaky edge to Wolffe’s voice. “Something the matter, vod?” Cody calmly asks. The two of them and their batchmates have been through just about every inhumane and unimaginable tragedy of war. After experiencing and reliving these horrors, Cody knows for a fact that there’s very little that rattles Wolffe.That’s what unsettles Cody the most as he meets his vod’s gaze and catches the subtle panicked shift in his eyes.

Wolffe grabs his helmet from the table and stops at Cody’s side. Looking down at his brother, Wolffe’s memory fills with the numerous times his batchmates covered for the two of you when asked. Wolffe can’t recall how many regulations and protocols he’s broken in order to be with you, but he can’t bring himself to feel any shame adding another to the growing list. “Something happened back at the apartment,” Wolffe drops his voice to a grave whisper.

Realization stings at the back of Cody’s neck. Slowly nodding, Cody’s expression hardens to match his brother’s. He scans the hanger while keeping his voice low and steady, “How many of your boys need to finish up before you’re done?”

“Just Comet, Boost, and Warthog,” Wolffe quickly answers. The sharpness to his tone softens as he watches Cody add them to his roster checklist.

Meeting his brother’s gaze, Cody motions his head to the exit. “Go. Let us know if we can help in any way,” Cody urges him.

“Thank you,” Wolffe breathes out. Cody’s serious expression holds him back from rushing out.

“I want you to know,” Cody says in absolute seriousness, “that we care about your cy’are just as much as you do. Alright? I don’t want either of you thinking that you’re burdening us when you ask for our help”.

Wolffe meets Cody’s concerned gaze and feels a small wash of relief. With a small nod, he quickly takes his leave. Grateful to have his brothers’ support regardless of the situation. As he steps out the hanger entrance and waves down a cab, Wolffe tries to collect himself. But the short commute seems to drag on longer than usual as anxiety slows down time. Raising the comlink up to his mouth, Wolffe picks up your call once more. “I’m coming home, cy’are”.

As numbness settles in your body, you feel as if you’re hanging on by a single thread. Frayed and strained, it’s the only thing tethering you to reality. The comforter stings your skin as it rubs against you everytime you shift your limbs. Desperate to ease the aching pain that sits heavy on you like a second skin. Unable to hear the cronometer chime underneath the pillow that shields you, you have no concept of time as you fall further into your mind’s spiral after Wolffe’s com connection dropped.

“Fuckssake,” Wolffe growls under his breath. His chest heaves from practically throwing himself out of the cab and through the entrance of your apartment building. The driver could not have been any slower, and it had to be when you needed his reassurance that the blasted comlink dies. Jamming in the passcode, Wolffe steps into his home with a gnawing unease.

Silence greets him as the door hisses closed behind him. Dropping his helmet on the entryway table,Wolffe steps into the apartment. His eyes look over the kitchen and then scan the living room. His heart thunders against its cage as he searches for you. “Cy’are?” Wolffe quietly calls out. He holds his breath, and his airway slowly begins to constrict as the seconds feel like hours.

A faint rustling sound causes his ears to prick up. Wolffe walks over to the bedroom and peers in from the doorway. His chest sinks as he watches a mound of blankets twist and snag on the corner of the bed. With each step he takes closer to you, Wolffe quickly unfastens his armor. An urge to be as close to you as possible takes over him, and the minute his boots haphazardly leans against the foot of the bed, Wolffe joins you on the bed. He lays on his side with only the length of one hand between you two. “Cya’rika,” Wolffe murmurs. “Tell me how I can help”. His fingers twitch against the crumpled sheets.

As much as he tries to stay calm during these moments, Wolffe always feels an underlying fear that takes him back to the first time he witnessed one of your dysmorphic days nearly a year and a half ago. A sense of utter helpness slowly crept through him as your dull eyes barely met his own. Confusion gnawed at his mind when you changed your outfit multiple times in the day and only weakly responded with, “It felt too heavy on me”. Concern overcame him when you would only eat a few bites of a particular snack when the two of you would normally cook your meals together. Not a single training simulation could have prepared him for when you locked yourself in the fresher as sobs scratched your voice raw and echoed through the apartment. His desperate pleas and knocks on the door went unanswered for what seemed like eternity. Until he decided that you suffered alone for long enough and broke down the door keeping you from him. Neither of you wanted to leave the uncomfortable spot on the tile as Wolffe held you and listened to your ongoing fight with body dysmorphia. It wasn’t until you finished that he spoke, and Wolffe only coaxed you to let him take care of you.

After that, Wolffe helped you develop a safety net and code phrase for days like these. Always making sure to stock up on self care products for the bathroom. The kitchen is filled with your latest safe foods. He always checks your comlink works before he leaves for deployment. Even with the best preparation, Wolffe knows he can’t take away all the pain. He can only hope to take some of the weight off your shoulders.

Dizzy and dazed from the searing headache that’s settled against your skull, it takes a moment for you to collect your scattered thoughts. “I can’t breathe,” you softly plead.

His hand moves before he processes your words. Pulling the comforter from your face, Wolffe takes care not to touch your skin. The detailed description you provided of how many physical sensations send pin pricks sinking into your skin is now embedded in his memory. When he meets your red rimmed eyes, Wolffe’s gaze softens. His grip tightens on the blanket as he holds it up and away from you, so it doesn't sit on top of you. “What else can I do for you?” he calmly asks. Whatever you ask, Wolffe will follow through on your request. Nothing is too much to ask of him.

“Everything feels wrong,” you wheeze. Your thighs tingle against the synthetic material of your sleep pants. When you move them, a flare of stinging pain shoots across them.

“How about we get into some sweats and comfy clothes,” Wolffe suggests. When you jerk a nod, Wolffe feels a bit better. It’s been a long time since your dysmorphia hit this hard, but the two of you will be able to handle it. “Can I move the comforter off you? I can throw it in the wash with the sheets, so we have new ones for tonight”.

“Please,” you sigh. The bed shifts when Wolffe stands, and you’re excited to be free from the safe haven that now suffocates you in stale heat. Some of the tension lifts from you as the blanket is finally off your body, and you carefully stretch your sore limbs. As you sit up on the bed, you yearn for Wolffe to hold you as he carries the comforter to the laundry basket. Even the thought causes your palms to sting. “Can we sleep on the pull out tonight?”

“‘Course,” Wolffe answers without a trace of displeasure in his voice. “We can set it up after dinner, and the bed can be something we tackle together tomorrow”’. With just a few steps, Wolffe moves from the laundry basket to your shared wardrobe. As he presses the door’s control panel, he asks, “Have an idea what would be comfiest for you? We also should start to think about what sounds good for dinner”. Wolffe keeps his voice soft and casual, not wanting to overwhelm you. His fingertips skim across the fabrics of your lounge clothes, and he carefully tugs out your requested set from the teetering pile.

When Wolffe turns around with your lounge set and his sweats, your chest feels lighter. “I don’t know what I’m hungry for,” you quietly admit as you take the clothes from him. Your fingertips softly brush against each other, and a familiar comfort eases the ache in your bones. “What sounds good to you?” you ask as you slip off the bed. Carefully laying out the clothes on the rustled sheets, a small smile tugs at your lips as Wolffe does the same next to you. Always standing by your side, taking each step with you.

“If you’re feeling up to it, we could go to the noodle and soup stand down the block. Some fresh air would be a good idea,” Wolffe thinks out loud. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees you thumb the outfit nervously. Grabbing the back of his shirt, Wolffe pulls it off with a small hum. As he reaches for his oversized, gray long sleeved shirt, Wolffe relaxes as you mirror his movements. “Or we could order take out and eat on the balcony? A Naboo flatbread also sounds good,” he continues to suggest meals that would be easy on your stomach.

Wolffe’s tender love and attentive care nearly bring you to tears again. Out of everyone in the galaxy, you don’t understand how or why the stars aligned to bring him into your life. Maybe there isn’t a celestial fate that brought the two of you together. Maybe it was complete and utter luck you locked eyes across the import and trade market that Spring day two years ago. It was just meant to be. Whether prewritten in the cosmos or a blip that caused your timelines to entwine with each other.

“Thank you,” you whisper as you slip on your lounge pants. You fiddle with the edge of your shirt and rub the material with your thumbs.

Wolffe tilts his head as he takes you in. His cy’are that brings so much light and happiness to every situation. Always offering advice or a shoulder for someone to rest their weary head on. Some days he barely recognizes the love of his life though. These are the days that Wolffe’s most proud of his cyar’ika. A tiny flicker of hope glimmers behind tired eyes, and he can only imagine how hard you must fight for yourself on these days. “You never need to thank me for loving you how you deserve,” Wolffe firmly reminds you. His steady voice fills with devotion as he holds your gaze.

“I know it can be a lot to handle,” you say barely above a quiet murmur. “Especially if you don’t completely understand what I’m experiencing. So, thank you for being patient and kind when I can’t do the same for myself sometimes”.

Wolffe takes a step closer to you and reaches out to hold your face. But he pauses. Hands hovering just an inch away from you as his eyes search flicker between your own. As soon as you give him a tiny nod, Wolffe softly cups your jaw. His calloused thumbs gently rub your skin, and his chest swells as you lean into his touch. “Love isn’t easy, cy’are,” he says in almost a reverent tone. “But loving you is never difficult. I can’t imagine a life without you anymore, and I never want you to feel like I take you for granted. If it comes down to fighting with your demons, I will hold them off for however long you need to rest in order to push past a dark day to see another bright day”. Wolffe leans down, and he stops just as his head is about to rest on your’s. “May I?” he checks. Another small nod brings him closer to you, and Wolffe leans his forehead against your own. “Loving you is my greatest honor. I never want you to think that you're a burden to me, especially on days when you need a little more care, sarad. Lean on me when you need, because I am here for you always. I’m here for you on the days you stand tall and navigate life with excitement. I am here for you on the days where you need to stay tucked away in the comfort of our home. I am here for you, because I love you”.

Your heart hurts from Wolffe’s promise. Unable to voice your gratitude with words, you tip your head to press a lingering kiss to the corner of his mouth. When his lips quirk with a small smile, you know he understands your silent message.

“How about we go out to the soup shop, hm? Take a quick walk afterwards, and then we can come home for a bath or holofilm,” Wolffe guides you back to the question of dinner. Pulling away from you, Wolffe lets a rare smile grow as your hands hold his wrists as you stare at him with a revived adoration. A breakthrough from today’s fatigue that he couldn’t be more proud of.

“Sounds perfect. Maybe we can stop by the tea shop as well and get something to drink and nibble on during the film,” you hum. Wolffe’s hands lower from your face, but he leaves one outreached to you. Slipping your hand into his, you feel some of the pressure dissipate from your tense muscles as he leads you to the entryway. Your body still aches as you carefully put on the jacket Wolffe holds open for you, but it’s a little more manageable with his help. It doesn’t hurt as much when you press the control panel to open the door. After stepping into the hallway, you turn around and watch Wolffe slip on your fanny pack and his coat with a fond expression. As Wolffe locks your shared apartment, you couldn’t be more grateful to have him as your partner. You couldn’t imagine your life without Wolffe by your side.

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221bshrlocked · 1 year

Text

Finding the Heavens

Pairings: Captain Rex x afab!Reader

Words: 1725

Warnings: Brief talk of war casualties. Indirect love confessions. One very soft kiss.

Summary: Rex finds you meditating after a particularly harsh day on the battlefield. A small misunderstanding leads to big realizations.

A/N: This is for @cloneficgiftexchange ClonexReader Comment Swap. I realized the only Rex fic I have is hella NSFW so here is my SFW admission. I hope you guys like this. It's just a little bit angsty because you know, wars, but it's fluffy in it's own little way. Comments are always appreciated.

It was becoming difficult, the repetitiveness of leaving the Temple for rotations on end, and going on outrageously weary missions as if you were made for war and not peace. You laugh at the absurdity of it all, but the chuckle quickly turns in a deep sigh as your naivety settles in, and you realize that your excitement for being knighted was misplaced. Completely and utterly misplaced. It was never about peace, but the justification of inherently hopeless actions.

You wipe your face with a wet towel, looking up and studying the field in front of you littered with nothing but pain and suffering. As you take in the stench of death, you hear the faint voice of the 501st Captain speak through the comms, signaling everyone to return to camp for the night. You were never meant to spend more than fortnight on this maker-forsaken planet, but things prolonged far beyond your control and the Council decided it was best you remain where you are in case Dooku’s minions returned for what belonged to them. His voice rings across the several troopers surrounding you, and you nod at them when they turn around and wait for you to move ahead of them.

As you make your way back to the campsite, you try to alleviate the sadness enveloping the men walking with you, cracking jokes and doing your best to discuss anything but the war. It proved easier than usual, and you figured it was probably because of the trooper’s need to forget about their place in this galaxy. When you finally make it back to the others, you watch as they each let the reality of the situation kick in, mourning those they will never see again and wondering who was next.

Not wanting to push your luck with them, you bid them a good night and head towards the edge of the camp to keep the first watch. A few men wave at you as you pass by them, and you do your best to smile back, allowing the faint gratitude to wash over you. When you reach your position, you throw the hood of your cloak over your head, tightening it around your body until you are somewhat warm. The sounds of the men carry over the campsite, calming you down enough to finally meditate. You couldn’t hear what they were saying, but you knew it had to do with the return back to Coruscant. You could only hope there was time off ahead of you, not because you were extremely fatigued from battle, but mostly because of the psychological effects you knew the men were suffering from.

Especially the Captain.

“You were distracted out there.” The voice of none other than the man you found yourself thinking too often lately breaks the silence of your space, and you crack a smile before continuing to regulate your breathing. When Rex turns to face and sees what you’re doing, he stops in his tracks and apologizes profusely, afraid that he’s crossed the invisible boundaries that have always existed between the Clones and the Jedi.

“Captain, please. There’s no need to apologize, I was only de-stressing. Nothing particularly important.” You take in one last deep breath before relaxing your whole body, allowing your limbs to fall off the giant rock you’re sitting on until your muscles stretch.

“I can come back later.” Rex avoids your eyes, knowing he might give himself away if he were to look at you once you agree.

“You can stay as well.” The response shocks him into looking up at you, and when he finds your features missing that soft smile he’s grown so fond of, he tries his best to calm his heart, afraid of what he might say should you sense his unease.

“Please…stay.”

He makes up his mind then and there, quietly nodding at you before setting his helmet aside and taking a seat beside you. His thigh touches your leg, and he looks down immediately, wondering how it was possible for him to feel heat course below his skin when there were so many layers separating the both of you.

Neither of you say anything, choosing to marvel at the scenery overtaking your sight. A cool wind passes through the trees and sends a shiver down your spine, making you grow closer to the Captain unintentionally. If Rex notices you leaning into his space a little more than professionally appropriate, he says nothing of it, smirking at the prospect of being a safe space for you.

The trees rustle all around you, making you wish you weren’t out in the middle of nowhere and instead back in your room at the Temple. The thought randomly reminds you of Rex’s previous words, and you reluctantly turn to face him before you speak.

“Forgive me.”

The sentiment pulls Rex’s eyes to your expression, and he tilts his head to the side in confusion at the soft outburst.

“G-General?” He doesn’t know what you’re referring to, and he hates to think that he may have led you into thinking that you need to apologize to him.

“You’re right. I was distracted out there, as much as I tried not to be…I- I should be better, not for my sake but for yours, and the other men.” You swallow the lump in your throat, allowing your eyes to roam down at the lightsaber on your belt. It feels like a massive weight is bringing you down, and you hate that it’s your weapon bringing your attention to said feelings. The last thing you want is for anyone to blame you for the deaths of your friends, and your heart skips a beat at the prospect of Rex thinking such a thing.

“General, you misunderstand me.”

It’s your turn to be taken aback by his response, and you shift your attention from your weapon to Rex’s eyes, wanting to be sure that you heard him correctly.

“I may be out of line here, but I- I meant to…I was afraid of your distraction, not because you could have done better, but because it put you in danger.” You furrow your eyebrows at him, unsure of whether he was saying what you thought he was.

“I saw you, from across the battlefield, and it terrified me seeing you so indifferent, so unconcerned with your safety.” Rex is ringing his fingers, knowing that he was crossing a line that will most likely make you refuse to work with him again. Although it would pain him to never see you on a daily basis, he was confident he would lose his mind if he didn’t voice his concerns to you, especially now.

“Maker, you terrified me.” His voice shakes, the sound shooting straight to your chest and clasping onto your heart instantly. You stare at him with wide eyes, incapable of blinking out of fear of missing something, anything that would let you know he was only saying such things because he was your General and not because you meant more for him.

As you take in the reluctance and pain etched on his soft features, you can’t help but admire him even more, marveling at how beautiful he looks even when he was clearly uncomfortable beyond measure.

When a few moments pass by and you remain silent, Rex swallows nervously and finally turns away from you, unable to maintain any eye contact with you now that he is positive his feelings aren’t reciprocated.

Against your better judgment, you reach down and trail your index finger along the back of his hand to his wrist, waiting until the gesture settles in his mind before finally breaking the unbearable silence.

“You look handsome in the moonlight.” You whisper to him, smiling softly when his head shoots straight up from your hands to your eyes. You can tell the sentiment is unexpected, and you wish with all your heart that he knew how much you long for him, how you dreamt of him every night ever since you met him all those months ago.

“Then again, you always look handsome.” You chuckle to break the growing silence, praying to the Force that he found it in his heart to believe your words.

“Mesh’la,” Rex’s voice come out hoarse, and you barely have any time to react to the word before he’s standing up and moving in front of you, completely shielding you from the rough night ahead

“Rex.” His name on your lips is all it takes for the two of you to accept the shift in your relationship, and without caring for any of the men walking around the camp behind you, Rex cups your neck and glances quickly to your lips, waiting until you reach for him in return before leaning down and molding his mouth with your own. The kiss is chaste, and you feel your tears fall down your cheeks when he steps even closer to you and wraps his arms around your back. The embrace is uncomfortable but neither of you care for the layers preventing you from truly touching each other. All your focus is on the warmth passing between the both of you, the touch allowing you to forget the tragic reality you’re in if only for a moment.

When you do finally pull away, it is because Rex has tasted the salt of your tears, and wants to wipe them from your skin. His thumb is rough on your cheek, but you lean into the warmth his palms exude as they hold your face and dry them. You turn to the side a little and kiss his wrist, relishing the new-found comfort he was bestowing on you.

“I’m here cyare, I’m here.” Rex rests his forehead against your own, smiling to himself when he feels you completely melt into his arms. You can tell he needs this just as much as you, and when you’ve taken everything you’ve been desperately craving for from the hug, you push away from him and bite your lip just as you look up into his hazel eyes, the ones you’ve looked for in everyone you’ve spoken with since the fateful day of your introduction.

Somehow, as impossible as it was to liken the colors, they reminded you of the heavens just after sunset.

“So am I Rex, so am I.”

#captain rex/reader #captain rex x reader #clone fanfiction #captain rex #captain rex fanfiction #the clone wars #star wars #captian rex fluff

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toomanybandstocare · 1 year

Text

{Galaxy's Edge}

Program: Everything is too much. The war. The pressure. The responsibilities. It all pushes you to the edge, and you teeter. Just a moment away from leaving it all to try to find a semblance of peace from the raging emotions that overwhelm you. Duty bound by his medical oaths and love, Kix is by your side and knows exactly how to talk you down.

Pairing: Kix x GN! Reader, established relationship

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Length: 1529w

Warnings: Anxieties and Insecurities

Camp Resolute's Masterlist

ClonexReader Masterlist

Prompt: "Stop right there"

Counselor Notes: May or may not have taken out my emotions out on this one. But! Happy to post my first piece for @clonexreaderbingo.

Your head pounds with a searing, dull throb. The blue illumination from your datapad burns your eyes in the darkness of your temporary sleeping quarters. Always the first to offer any assistance to Senator Organa, you often find yourself working until the night sky begins to bleed into morning light. Only to fall asleep for what seems like minutes before you wake up to start the cycle again. This bill and the current state of affairs causes your stomach to knot and twist. Even the ever collected senator looks ragged during your meetings.

Once graduated from Alderaan’s Academy of Political Science, you began working for the senator’s office and have started your career as an aide in hopes of one day serving your people in the footsteps of your mentor. As the war continues to rage on and has even come to your home, this will be the defining moment of the start of your career. Responsibilities normally handled by a representative now stack on top of your pre-existing assignments. The boundary between the two roles blur and encompass you completely as you take on the work of two people. Helping the senator with the upcoming vote to send reinforcements to Christophsis, the two of you meet three times a day during meals to divide research needs during this prolonged voyage.

With the Separatist blockade surrounding your planet, the 50st underwent a stealth operation to help the senator and his companions escape to Coruscant. The reality of the situation weighs heavily on your achy shoulders. Pushing from your makeshift desk with a shake of your head, you stand on wobbly legs. With a few steps, the door hisses open at your approach. A gnawing guilt eats at the back of your mind as you wander the ship’s narrow corridors. All your efforts and time should be spent on your assignments, but the short distance between you and your secret lover teases you mercilessly.

Rounding the corner, you find most of the boys in blue enjoying a scarce moment of peace. A poor retelling of Hardcase’s last attempt at romance bringing most of the boys into a fit of controllable laughter or looks of utter disbelief. You lean on the wall with a soft smile enjoying the sight of Kix laughing without a care in the galaxy as he covers his eyes to try to shield himself from his brother’s disaster. Wiping away a stray tear, Kix’s amber eyes immediately find you and soften. A flurry takes flight in your stomach as you steal this moment between you two.

Kix addresses you with a warm regard that snaps the others into a flurry, trying to find a balance between respecting your status while keeping the casual atmosphere alive. “Is there anything we can do to help you?” Kix respectfully asks. His eyes quickly scan over your curled frame. His forehead creases at the sight of fatigue settling on you, and he’s careful to keep his emotions hidden from prying eyes.

“I was wondering if you had any spare headache pills?” you ask. Even trying to keep your voice from shaking proves to be a struggle. The butterflies in your stomach mix poorly with the lightheaded haze clouding your mind. “I ran out earlier today, and I still have quite a bit of work to finish before my dinner meeting with the senator”.

Without a second thought, Kix pushes off his seat, which pulls amused looks and a stray chuckle from his brothers. “Of course. I just need to grab them from my medkit. I can bring them to your room if you’d like to go ahead and try to get some rest”.

Not sparing his brothers a glance, Kix leads the two of you back through the corridor towards the sleeping quarters. When one of your shaky hands slips into one his by his side, a pang of nerves stings his heart. Kix quickly squeezes your hand. Once the two of you reach the travel barracks, Kix reaches just past the door frame to grab his kit. The pair of you hurry to your room. After the door hishes close behind you, Kix’s mind races into overtime at the sound of your muffled sobs and drops his kit to the floor.

“I can’t keep doing this,” you choke out.

“What’s wrong?” Kix calmly asks you. His large hands guide you to sit on the edge of the bed. Kneeling on the ground by your side, Kix softly palms your thigh. His normally warm eyes cloud with concern as they flicker across your trembling body. Kix keeps himself calm, knowing that his nerves and concerns won’t combine well.

“This,” you hiss and throw one hand in the air, gesturing to the room in general. “War. Politics. Secrets. Running for my life. I can’t keep doing this. I’m not strong enough,” your voice breaks. Ducking your head, you squeeze your eyes shut. Tears sting your lash line before falling down your cheeks. Your heart races almost pushing his way out of its cage and up your throat. You try to take deep breaths, but they come out short and forced. “I just wanted to help my people and the war efforts, but I didn’t think I’d get caught in a web of blackmail. Everything’s too much. I just want to run from it all. Disappear and start new where no one can find me. It wouldn’t hurt anyone if I did”. You pinch the bridge of your nose with one hand, the other sits limply in your lap. “Senator Organa can easily find a replacement. My friends and family will just think I’m too ashamed to show my face from failing them. You can find someone that you can be proud to have by your side and call your lover”. As you fall further into your anxieties, your words come out rushed.

“Stop right there”.

It takes a moment for his words to register in his mind. Kix doesn’t recognize his own voice - coming out a low growl. His head spins as he tries to keep up with your plan. “Look at me,” Kix quietly demands, leaving no room for argument. At the hesitant flash of your gaze before it drops with your hand, Kix squeezes your thigh. “Please,” he breathes out.

Dizzy and hiccuping, you slowly raise your head to meet his gaze. Even with a serious expression, his eyes are full of care. You rest one hand on top of his and tangle your fingers. His other hand grasps your arm and rubs soothing patterns into your scorching skin.

“I can’t understand the stress you're under. Or how terrifying this escape has been,” Kix calmly starts. His voice no louder than a low murmur. Careful to not let anyone overhear this private moment. “If you were to disappear - no message, no coordinates, nothing - so many people would search for you. With me leading the efforts”. Kix’s gaze flickers across your puffy face and softens when they meet your red-rimmed, tired eyes. “I would be broken if you left. No one can come close to you. Not in the joy you bring to others by your kind acts. Not in the passion you have for helping those in your community. No one can do what you do. And especially not in the way you complete me”.

“Kix,” you whimper. Your lip wobbles from his tender care and attention to detail.

“I love you,” Kix assures you. His hands squeeze you before he carefully pulls you down into his lap to cradle you to his chest. “There is no other person in the galaxy I know who can persevere through this war and make the future a brighter place full of hope. I am so incredibly proud of how far you’ve come as a person and what you’ve accomplished so far with your work. I know I’m not always by your side when you need me most, but I will do everything I can to support you however I can”. Kix kisses your temple before he rests his forehead there. “Whenever you feel like this again, please, send a signal to my comlink channel. I’ll find somewhere private - no matter where I am - and call you. And, when I feel the same, I’ll do the same”.

You move your head to rest your forehead against his. “I love you,” you softly whisper. Leaning into his embrace, you match the rise and fall of his chest, slowing your breathing. “We can figure this out. Together”.

“You’re not alone in this. We’ll get through this together,” Kix promises. His lips ghost over yours before pressing a tender kiss. Slowly moving together, the two of you melt into the other. Feeling your arms wrap around his neck and lightly dig your nails into the edge of his buzzcut, Kix hums. His thoughts begin to cloud, so Kix breaks away from you. At the small whine he pulls from your lips, he gently laughs. Kix moves his hands to cup your face and deeply look into your eyes. “Promise me?”

You press a kiss to the inside of his wrist and match his fond expression. “Promise”.

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toomanybandstocare · 1 year

Text

{I've Got My Mind On You}

Program: Birthdays...no longer come with presents wrapped in a bow or bring your loved ones together for your celebration. Unable to break away from the sadness and loneliness that you've come to associate with a day meant to for fond memories, you drift away and separate yourself from the people who stand by you everyday. Each day, Jesse keeps his eye on you terrified of the person who's taken your place. This is year that everything changes for the better, but that can only happen if you let it.

Pairing: Arc Trooper Jesse x Intelligence officer, GN! Reader

Alt Pairing: Arc Trooper Jesse & Intelligence officer, GN! Reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort

Length: 4584w

Warnings: Overwhelming negative emotions around birthdays and feeling unwanted, Use of "them" as for sentence structure purposes, Barely edited

Camp Resolute Masterlist

ClonexReader Masterlist

Prompt: party For @clonexreaderbingo event hosted by the lovely Ghost.

Counselor Note: Purely self indulgent. I just needed to put my emotions, or as much as I could, onto paper with how my birthday came about this year. Could be read as romantic or as platonic soulmates.

No matter how many times the 501st has stepped foot into the GAR’s barracks on Coruscant, everyone feels uneasy as they begin to slowly unpacked their mud caked and blood stained gear. Even though the battle was a success, an imperative one at that, your shoulders ache from the tension that weighs down on them. It seeps into your fatigued body and finds its home in your tired bones. Everyday you woke up this month, a knot of dread twisted and sank deeper into your core at the distant memory of your approaching birthday.

As you place your datapad on your side table, your gaze locks onto the date displayed alongside the weather and music options on your holo-chronometer. Your heart lurches, and you feel as if you’re going to be sick. Just two more days until you ignore the previous year’s stinging memories. Just two more days until the dash of hope that holds your heart together snaps. Just two more days until you treat your birthday like it’s any other day of the year. Nothing special. Nothing worth celebrating, especially when you’re all alone.

Your lungs constrict, and you force yourself to finish placing the last pieces of clothing and tactical gear in their designated spots before laying down on your bunk. With a groan, you rest your head on your arms and close your eyes as the rest of the 501st begin to plan their nights out on leave.

“Fives, we always go 79s. We’re not saying we don’t want to go, we just want to visit some new spots as well,” Echo exasperatedly explains as he kicks his duffel under the bunk.

“This is the first time that the 212th, 104th, and 501st have been planetside in who knows how long,” Fives exclaims and throws his hands up, “And you want to choose now to go to a new bar? No way - we’re going to 79s as much as we can during this leave”.

“No one’s saying they can’t come, di’kut,” Kix throws one of his black tops at Fives with a grin.

“Who would have thought Fives would be the one to shoot down the possibility of meeting new partners,” Jesse chuckles as he sits on the edge of his bunk. As he leans over to unbuckle his boots, his gaze falls on your bunk. The gnawing concern that’s grown as the month’s progressed overtakes his mind as you seem completely detached from reality. Desperate to pull you away from whatever dark place your mind travels to as of recent, Jesse calls out your name.

Deep in your journey through memories locked away in the back of your mind, a sharp sting of adrenaline causes your eyes to fly open and your heart to race as you shoot up in panic. Your gaze snaps to the pillow sitting in your lap. Forcing yourself to take a deep breath, you shake off the residual nerves settling across your skin as you narrow your gaze to search for the guilty culprit. When you look across from you, it only takes Jesse’s mischievous smile to know who threw the pillow at you. “Not funny,” you breathe out and throw the pillow back at him. You try to let yourself relax, but you can’t find it in yourself to put the mask back on.

Jesse catches the pillow with ease, and his expression softens lightly when he truly sees how solemn you look. “Got any plans we could crash?” he asks with a slight hope in his casual tone. Jesse’s chest stings as watches you practically curl into yourself. What happened to lose the spark he’s come to adore and associate with you?

“Probably just disconnect and hide out at my apartment,” you mumble and shrug your shoulders.

“You can’t do nothing on your time off,” Fives gently protests. His expression hardens into one of worry as the discussion shifts to your plans. Everyone in the company has noticed your change in demeanor and energy, and every member has voiced their concern to Rex who wasn’t able to figure out the root of your change. Even the collected captain keeps a wary eye out for you more than usual lately.

“Come join us,” Kix adds on, “I know you’re probably sick of spending all your time with us, but we promise to be on our best behavior”. He chuckles lightly, but it soon dies as Kix sees your lip wobble.

“I’m not in the party mood,” you firmly state. Your voice wavers as tears sting your lash line. As the last of your walls start to crumble as tears threaten to fall, you jump off your bed and grab your backpack as you hurry for the door. Guilt mixes with sorrow to create a nauseating sensation in the pit of your stomach as you leave the barracks without another word.

As the door hisses shut, the members of the 501st are surrounded by an uncomfortable blanket of silence. One that gnaws at Jesse’s nerves and sends his heart racing. Unable to pull his surprised gaze from the barracks entrance, he chews on the inside of his cheek.

“That’s a completely different person than the one we’re friends with,” Heavy quietly murmurs.

“Regardless,” Jesse says slowly as he snaps his boot buckle, “still our friend. There’s only one person that I can think of that knows them better than us”. Grabbing his comlink, Jesse walks towards the barrack’s entrance while tuning into their assistant medic’s private channel. “Kiva? Where abouts are you?” Only static responds of a second, and Jesse’s lungs constrict as he passes through the door.

The chances that the medic has already left the base are slim, but still high enough to make Jesse walk faster through the durasteel halls. His heart hammers as his footsteps echo against the metal plated floors. Check the civvie barracks first, then the medic station. Take the slightly longer route to the medbay and check the entry-exit log at the base’s entrance. Jesse’s mind races to figure out how to find the Nautolan medic that he barely hears the call chirp to his comlink.

“Kriff, Jesse - can’t a guy take a nap in peace. Not even an hour planetside and one of you already needs med attention? Give us a break,” Kiva sighs through the audio channel.

“Kiva,” Jesse breathes out in relief, “Where are you? This isn’t about med attention. I’m worried about-”

“Leave it alone, Jesse,” Kiva swiftly interrupts.

Jesse falters at the medic’s harsh tone. Coming to a stand still, Jesse leans against one of the support pillars. “What do you mean leave it alone? Something’s not right,” he pushes back. Frustration begins to spark in his voice as Jesse scans the hallway to find somewhere more private to take this call. Kiva’s evasiveness causes an uneasy feeling to bite at Jesse’s skin. A moment of silence passes, and just as Jesse goes to check the call connection he hears Kiva sigh.

“It’s like this every year,” Kiva explains, “The month leading up to what’s supposed to be a birthday, it’s like they shut down. Right? I don't know what happened for it to get like this. Each year, they disappear to their apartment and won’t come out until a couple of days later”.

As the medic shares his limited knowledge, Jesse’s expression hardens into one mixed with confusion and worry. With a spark of determination, a plan begins to form in his mind, and a smile tugs at Jesse’s mouth. “Then I’ll need your help if we’re going to pull this off. When’s their birthday?”

“I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Jesse,” Kiva hesitates. “We don’t know why-”

“If you felt the same about a day that’s supposed to be about celebrating you and all you’ve achieved this year, wouldn’t you want someone to go the extra mile and celebrate with you? Know that someone loves you so much that they'll celebrate you even when you feel like it’s worthless?”

The comlink falls silent for a moment. All Jesse can hear is air ventilation willing above him and the dull rush of blood to his ears. His body tenses as the seconds come to a stand still, and he balances on the edge of anticipation and false hope.

“Then we’re going to need all the help we can get with only two days to plan and prep,” Kiva states with a determined laugh. “How can I help?”

“I need a key to the apartment, and you need to act as a distraction. Leave the rest to me and the boys,” Jesse rushes to explain. The stoney expression melts into one of relief as Jesse turns on his heel to rejoin the rest of the company.

Kiva’s static laughter echoes against the sterile halls, “I’ll send you the keycode in a little bit. Why do I get the hardest job?”

Jesse’s smile grows as he responds, “Because you’ll draw the least amount of suspicion”.

The minute you step foot into your cozy, city apartment you feel the last of your walls crumble. As the entrance door hisses shut behind you, you hastily throw your bag to the side of the entryway. Tears flow down your cheek while you furiously rub them away while walking through the dark living room to turn into your bedroom. Your head spins as a mixture of overwhelming emotions causes a dull throb to sear at the back of your forehead. Just a few more days until you could move on from the choke hold that past disappointments have on you. Tugging off your well worn travel clothes, the fabric snags and refuses to slip off your body causing a wave of frustration to crash against your skull alongside your headache. With a defeated sob, you toss your clothing to the side and fall on top of your bed. Unable to hold back your cries as you tug the duvet over your body and tuck yourself away from reality.

The next two days are filled with excited chatter and lethargic depression. Each hour passes, ticking closer and closer to the anticipated birthday. Time blurs as party planning brings together some of the most well respected commanding officers during the day and bleeds into the night when lungs cry out for relief against the chain that wraps around them to lock away a broken heart.

Late morning sunbeams break past your blinds, and you toss and turn in your blanket cocoon. Unwilling to pull yourself from semi-consciousness, you burrow further into the covers. Your under eyes feel sore and puffy as you press your face into a pillow. Stretching your aching muscles, you faintly hear the alarm disarm with the door opening. Even though that should send you into alertness, the thick blanket of numbness dulls your senses.

“Kriff,” Kiva quietly mutters.

“It’s not usually this bad,” you groan. You wince at the realization that your room is a complete mess, even by your standards. “I thought I told you I wanted to recharge alone. Finally enjoy some peace and quiet,” you mumble into your duvet.

The edge of your bed dips, and your body slides against Kiva’s. A gentle hand comes down to rest on what can only be assumed as your shoulder under the mounds of blankets and sheets. “One of the intelligence officers landed in the medbay,” Kiva sighs, “Captain Rex has requested for you to come in as soon as possible. We just intercepted a new set of Separatist codes”.

The weight of his words sinks into you with a churning unease and defeat. Even though your birthday comes with mixed emotions, you had hoped to at least avoid working on the dreaded day. “I need some time to wake up and get dressed,” you quietly reply, “Might as well put on a pot of caf for us while you wait”.

Minutes crawl by as Jesse keeps a careful eye on the apartment’s entrance. Excitement and nerves bounce around inside him as he waits for the two of you to exit. Every so often, his comlink chirps with someone eagerly asking for an update.

“How much longer,” Fives complains over the channel frequency.

“Maybe if you grew up a little, you’ll realize it’s normal for people to take their time to get ready. Especially when called into an unexpected shift on shore leave,” Jesse hisses in response. His gaze flickers up from his comlink as the entrance signal chimes, and he steps into the side alley. Peering around the corner, Jesse watches as you and Kiva step into your speeder and a new wave of determination washes over him.

When your speeder pulls away from the platform and disappears into the flow of traffic, Jesse wastes no time getting to the entrance and punching in the visitor code. “Alright, Fives. Bring everyone in,” Jesse signals his brother as he walks through the lobby. “We don’t have much time until Rex and Kiva bring our ad’ika back in a worse mood than when they left”. Jesse cuts off the call as his brothers shout in excitement, and he steps into the elevator that shoots him up to your apartment level. His gaze stays fixed on the level indicator, and nervous jitters make him tap his foot. There’s no reason for this to go wrong, but the gnawing fear of crossing an unspoken line makes Jesse’s stomach twist. He doesn’t want to become one of the reasons you hate your birthday in the future. The elevator ding jolts him out of his thoughts and causes his heart to pound against his chest. There’s no going back. Determined to show you just how many people care for you, Jesse steps into the hallway and rushes to your apartment.

“You really don’t need to walk me home,” you quietly break the thick silence surrounding you and Rex.

The night sky begins to tuck away the blazing sunset behind the city skyline. Your footsteps fall in time with Rex’s creating a metallic beat as you near your apartment building. After having spent the afternoon decoding messages with dated intel with Rex, you finally shut off your holo-top for the evening. The searing pain that’s throbbed between your eyes for the last few days now drums against your skull. The thought of breaking a cypher only to lead to more disappointment makes your head spiral, so you told Rex you were done as you packed your bag. Concerned with how late it had become, the captain had insisted on walking you home when you found out Kiva already left for the evening.

Evening traffic speeds past you as the two of you walk across the platform from where you parked your speeder to the building’s entrance. Your apartment building looms above you, and you punch in the resident code. The cool temperature eases the burning sensations that stings at your skin as the two of you enter. Even through your emotional fatigue, something hasn’t sat right with you since Kiva first visited this morning.

“It’s not even that late out,” you point out. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Rex stiffen as he shifts his weight from one foot to another. Wariness overcomes you and sharpens your senses from the lethargic haze that you’ve grown used to.

Rex ducks his head and sighs. “You haven’t been yourself lately,” he slowly explains. Without giving you the chance to interrupt, Rex punches the elevator call button.

The sudden noise makes you wince, and your heart speeds up. Why would he care so much? “It’s not healthy to put on a facade. I’ll at least do myself the favor of not bottling up my emotions and pretending like I’m okay when I’m not”. Your voice wavers as he motions for you to enter first. When you move into the small elevator, Rex quickly joins you. Your eyebrows raise, and you press your floor button. The wariness shoots pin pricks at the back of your neck.

“Seems like you’re hiding from the people who actually care about you and want to help you feel like yourself again,” Rex’s words come out harsher than either of you expect. His eyes widen, and his gaze snaps to meet your own. “I’m sorry,” he stammers, “That came out sharper than I meant”. Rex sighs and runs a hand over his face.

Your heartbeat pounds against your chest, and you feel sick from the flush that’s overcome your body. Grateful for the floor chime, you exhale a breath of relief and step out of the elevator. “It’s fine,” you cooly dismiss his apology. When the sound of his footsteps follow you out into the hall, your face pinches. “Rex, I promise I’m not upset with you,” you practically snap. The firmness in your voice mixes with the frustration that overheats you and the desperation to be finished with this awful day. Heart thundering as you stand in front of your apartment door, you lock your heated gaze onto Rex. Yet, confusion only spurs your temperament further when you catch the faint, sad smile on the captain’s face.

“Maybe not yet, at least. Happy birthday, ad’ika,” Rex softly responds.

Your hand shakes hovering above the keypad. A coldness freezes over your body, and the overwhelming sharp dullness of flush sizzling across your skin makes you dizzy. Unable to meet Rex’s concerned expression, you turn away and hastily punch in your code. As soon as the door hisses open, you dart into your apartment desperate to hide away and allow yourself the comfort to let your emotions out in privacy. Rubbing at your eyes furiously and blinking away threatening tears, you walk through the entryway and throw your bag to the ground. Fleeting memories and a headache pound against your skull, and you feel as if the room’s spinning. With one hand, you press the light panel and a soft mix of colored lights float across the walls.

“Happy birthday!” a chorus of voices call out.

You jump back, tripping on your footing. A careful hand steadies you from behind, and you lean into Rex’s hold as your shocked gaze bounces from troopers to friends to family clustered in your small living room. When you try to speak, only a small noise breaks past your disbelief.

“Alright, alright,” Jesse motions for everyone to relax, “You’ll have a chance to chat with our guest of honor later. Let’s let them get used to this”. When he drops his palms to his sides, his palms feel sweaty. Every breath he takes feels shallow, and his lungs begs for air. Unfortunately for him, the little oxygen circulating through him escapes when Jesse turns to see your glassy eye expression. The way you shy away into Rex’s side as your eyes scan the room makes his heart stutter. Walking over to you, Jesse flexes his fists before hooking his thumbs into his pants’ pockets. “I’m sure this is a lot, but we just wanted to make sure you celebrated yourself,” Jesse softly explains.

Your wide eyes meet Jesse’s compassionate gaze, and you feel as if a weight has been lifted from your shoulders. “Did you plan this? This is too much. You should all be out enjoying your time off,” you rush. Even you hear how watery and strained your voice sounds. Rex’s traces soothing circles into your side, and the tension slowly releases from your body.

One of Jesses’ hands comes up to rub the back of his neck, and he breaks away from your gaze. “Everyone put this together. Rex, Wolffe, and Cody were massive a help in making sure all your friends and family got here. And then your 501st boys got the supplies ready. Really it was Kiva who pulled it off by getting you out of the apartment today,” Jesse rambles on and trips over his words, “Which, I am so sorry you had to do fake work. No one should work on their birthday, especially you. You already do so much for us, but we didn’t know how else to get you to leave so we could set up -”

Your lip wobbles as you listen to Jesse’s stumbling explanation. Without hesitation, you step forward and wrap your arms around his waist. Leaning your head on his chest, you feel his heartbeat quicken under your blushing cheek.

A hand gently rubs your shoulder, “And to answer your question, Jesse did plan this. Got all of us organized and made sure all your party felt comfortable and relaxed so you wouldn’t feel too overwhelmed”. He squeezes your shoulder, and you hear Rex call out to his batchmates with a chuckle.

Fully expecting for your cozy apartment to have been turned into a temporary 79s location, you relax as you look around the room to see your closest people lounging and laughing together. Lofi plays softly just above the chatter and occasional laugh. A small collection of gifts sit next to your favorite birthday treat on the center table. Fairy lights twinkle from above, and you’ve never felt more at home than you have at this moment. Normally just a place to find solace and solitude when you’re on shore leave, your apartment finally feels alive as your friends listen to your squad’s stories and your family checks each trooper to make sure they’re well taken care of.

“This is -” your words break off as a sudden sob overcomes you. Your throat tightens, and tears sting at your lash line. The burden of so many difficult memories bubbles up, and you finally allow yourself to let go of them. Tears stream down your cheeks, and your lips feel chapped as they kiss the corner of your mouth. Each droplet leaves a bittersweet taste to your tongue as they melt away. Your heart hammers against your chest, and it feels as if it’s going to break from just how much love has been returned. Lifting your blurry gaze, you faintly make out Jesse’s soft adoring expression as you share a grateful smile with his small one. “Thank you.” you say as firmly as you with a shaky breath.

“I don’t know if I overstepped, so I’m incredibly sorry if I did,” Jesse quietly begins, “I just couldn’t sit and watch you disappear from us. Once I knew what was making you so … broken, I couldn’t let you spend another birthday alone.” Jesse tightens his arms around you, and his hands tremble as he presses you closer to him. His stomach knots from your grateful expression, and it twists as he watches another tear fall across your cheek. With one hand, Jesse carefully wipes it away letting his fingertip gently graze your cheekbone before cupping your jaw. His chest constricts as you lean into his palm. “Even if it meant you didn’t want me in your life anymore for intruding, I didn’t want you to think that no one didn’t want to celebrate you and your accomplishments. All of your boys have been concerned, and we just wanted to bring back our ad’ika,” Jesse mumbles.

Fear isn’t an emotion that Jesse’s allowed himself to dwell on many times. Nerves prick his skin at the thought that this could be the last time you ever wanted to see him. That he had only hurt you more than he helped you. Wherever your mind takes you on those dark journeys inward, that you’ll remember tonight alongside the other heartbreaks. That terrifiesJesse most. But this isn’t about him. He would have to learn to go about his day without looking for you in the room, and maybe one day he could forget about how natural it is for his mind to wander to thoughts about you. So when the moment your hands come up to cup his face with a touch so soft, it nearly makes him sigh, Jesse feels all the growing anxiety and gnawing fear dissipate from him.

You shake your head with a watery laugh, “I don’t think I could push you away even if I tried hard enough.”

“I would just keep reaching out to you until I caught you,” Jesse softly agrees, “I’m not letting you slip through my fingers, ad’ika.” Even as Jesse relaxes and pulls the two to lean against the wall as a way to try to keep your conversation away from the others, a concern tugs at the back of his mind. Unable to shake it off, Jesse’s soft expression hardens slightly with worry. “Just tell me if I’m overstepping or if you don’t want to talk about it. What happened that made your birthday something to avoid rather than look forward to?”

Heart plummeting, you feel relieved that he finally asked. You can’t tell if it's a relief that neither of you are walking around it anymore or that you can finally tell someone how you feel about the day. Your hands slip from his face, and you rest them on his chest. The steady rise and fall of his breathing helps ground you as your mind races. “It just … turned into another day,” you admit. “It felt like I was being pushed to the side as other birthdays were planned well in advance while I had to practically beg for one friend to do something with me. It got to a point where it didn’t feel like anyone cared about me. And I had to carry that sadness and grief as I celebrated everyone else’s accomplishments”. Your voice breaks into a sob, and Jesse pulls you as close as the two of you can. Tucking your head into him, you try to take deep breaths to calm yourself but all the emotions of the past month finally catch up and crash down onto you.

Jesse ducks his head so his mouth is close to your ear, and his comforting voice drops so only you can hear him. “I am so incredibly proud of you, ad’ika. This year alone, you’ve been challenged in ways that not many people could overcome with the determination and grace that you have. Everyone in this room sees that, and they absolutely adore you. When they heard it was your birthday, everyone jumped at the chance to celebrate you and show you their love, alright? As long as you let us, we will support you however you need. Just give us the word, and we’ll be there for you. I’ll be there for you”.

Pulling away, Jesse brings both his hands up to wipe away the new wave of tears slipping down your face. His caring expression causes butterflies to tickle your stomach. “‘Thank you,” you choke out.

Jesse shakes his head with a smile, “Anything for you, ad’ika. I am afraid however, I may have kept you to myself a little longer than the rest of the party would have liked”. His eyes twinkle with a mischievous glint.

Pulling away, Jesse offers his arm with a cheeky wink that causes you to laugh easier than you have in a long while. As the two of you join your friends and family, each person makes it a point to wish you a happier year to come. Surrounded by so many people who went out of their way to celebrate your birthday, you find a small flicker of hope that next year will hold more laughter and love. Especially when you catch Jesse’s eye, and his expression melts into one of admiration only meant for you.

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toomanybandstocare · 1 year

Text

{Tradition in the Making}

Program: Jesse comes home after a recent deployment to Kashyyyk with gifts and worries to share. Especially when his son runs up greets him at the door when Jesse left him in your arms. After dinner and when the little one is tucked in for bed, Jesse admits his conflicts feelings towards his GAR contract renewal and how we was able to cope being away from home.

Pairing: Dad! Jesse x GN! Reader

Genre: Fluff, Hurt/Comfort

Length: 4642w

Warnings: Extreme liberties with timeline, Pet names (Cy'are, Buir), Suggestive ending but nothing explicit

Camp Resolute's Masterlist

ClonexReader Masterlist

Prompt: Life Day

Counselor Notes: My next piece for @clonexreaderbingo! Just to clarify as well, Order 66 and the rise of of the empire never happened. Once Palpatine was caught and arrested, the Senate established bills to help the Clones. One of which that lets them work on a contract basis or leave the GAR if they'd like after the war ends. Look - I want my boys to be happy and safe, doesn't mean I won't make it easy for them. This also came from one of @notthatfanfictionwriter's server messages, and my brain short circuited to produce this.

Warm rays of sunlight stream through the living room’s glass wall as the sun sets on Coruscant. Faint static voices sing in the background from the radio as you putter around the kitchen. A savory aroma fills the air as you stir tonight’s meal and prepare filling side dishes that you know would be a favorite with your partner. Frith’s smoothie bowl already sits to the side on the counter. Excitement buzzes inside you as the fish sizzles in the pan. Your eyes flicker past the breakfast counter to the entryway every few moments in hopes your partner will walk through the door calling your names.

Mumbly hums accompany the small hands that squeeze your upper arm and shoulder while you balance your son on your hip. Swaying to the music, you nod your head in agreement to Frith’s nonsensical chatter. Soft, golden eyes peer up at you when you gaze at Frith’s sleepy expression. “Dad home?” he quietly asks. Nearly identical to Jesse in every way, Frith takes after you in his quiet demeanor even in his appraching toddler years. Always far more interested in daydreaming rather than rough housing.

“He should be home soon,” you hum with a smile. “He sent a message just a few hours ago saying he would. Just had a meeting to attend with Uncle Rex before he could leave,” you simply explain. Both you and Jesse agreed that it would only hurt Frith if you hid his father’s whereabouts and work from him. No child should have to wonder where their parent went or when they would see them next, if it could be avoided. Even at such a young age, they see everything and know when something’s wrong.

Frith scrunches his chubby face into a pout. Unable to question you further, he sighs and throws his head into the crook of your neck. With an amused smirk, you raise an eyebrow at your son. Flashes of his father’s occasional flare for dramatics only foreshadows what his teen years may look like. Especially if his uncles keep their promises to make him a “man of the people”. Before you can even shudder at the thought of their lessons in charm, the distant blips of the entry lock sound off before the front door hisses open.

Frith squirms away from you, and you turn off the stove before rounding the corner of the breakfast bar. Barely even waiting for you to place him on the floor, Firth stumbles full speed towards Jesse who crouches with his arms wide open. His adoring smile beams as your child runs to him. Jesse wraps his arms around Frith with a groan of affection. “I missed you, little one. Pretty soon, I’ll be the one running after you making sure you’re not causing any trouble for your buir,” he mutters into the side of Frith head before placing a chaste kiss on his temple.

Jesse drops his kit to the side and uses both arms to pick Frith up and stand. With his child beaming and giggling in his arms, Jesse feels a wash of peace overcome him. When he turns to meet your gaze, his breath catches. He doesn’t know how you manage to do this every time he comes home. Always dressed in comfy clothes with faint bags under your eyes from sleepless nights with your son, you look ethereal leaning against the counter while the last rays of the sun envelope you in a warm glow. “I’m home, cy’are,” Jesse quietly greets you. At your soft smile, his heart swells in his chest.

“Welcome home, riduur,” you match his warm tone. With a few steps, you stand in front of him and hold his cheek with one palm. Jesse’s eyelashes flutter as he leans into your touch, and your heart skips a beat. “We missed you, Jesse,” you say before pulling him into a gentle kiss. Too quick for either of your likings, but too long for Frith to go without attention. His little hands pat the sides of both your heads in protest. You break the kiss with a laugh as Jesse huffs. Frith beams and claps his hands with a bright squeal. “You’re just in time for dinner. I can take Frith if you want to shower and get changed real quick,” you offer while trying to slip your son from his father’s arms. Yet the little boy’s squeals melt into small cries as his head falls to his father’s shoulder.

“How about I take him with me while I change?” Jesse suggests and carefully rubs the boy’s back. The cries begin to fade into small mumbles of content, and Frith’s eyelids flutter shut. “Give you a couple of minutes to yourself, and Frith doesn’t have to leave dad too soon”.

You bite down on your bottom lip and title your head. Both of you have noticed Frith’s growing nervousness when he leaves Jesse’s side, and you’ve been actively trying to help the little boy cope with his emotions around Jesse’s deployment schedule. Trying to find balance between fostering a relationship between the two while also encouraging Frith to explore on his own in the apartment or enjoy solo activities. Jesse’s eyes fall to your lips, and you chuckle pulling his slightly darkened eyes to meet your gaze. “Thank you, love. Take your time,” you agree and place a kiss on both your boy’s cheeks.

“Time for you and me, mister, to get into pjs,” Jesse dips his arms to make Frith giggle. The little boy is content babbling about nothing in particular while having it mean everything to him. Jesse walks through his home with a light step to the bedroom just off to the side of the living room. Sliding off his boots, Jesse nods in agreement with Frith’s final huff. Ever intrigued by the simple issues that trouble a toddler. “Alright, little one. Want to match with me or try something out on your own?” Jesse asks while moving them to the small bureau . Everytime he opens it, Jesse is amazed by how small the clothing is while he guiltily acknowledges the slightly larger sizes from the last time he was helping with the bedtime routine.

Frith pats Jesse's face with a large smile, which Jesse mirrors. His little body bouncing in his father’s arms as Jesse pulls out the tiny pair of blue sweatpants and a white waffle weave long sleeve. “Let me take this off first, and then we’ll get into our comfy clothes,” Jesse mumbles and carefully removes each piece of his armor while still balancing Frith in one arm at a time. Once down to his blacks, Jesse sits Frith on the bureau top and raises his arms up: “Alright, Frith, can you copy daddy?” The little boy giggles as his arms shoot up, and Jesse helps guide him out of the play shirt and into his sleep shirt before doing the same with his bottoms.

“And time to board your flight on Starship Jesse,” he cries out and picks Frith up. He swoops his arms to imitate flying, and Frith erupts with laughter while holding his arms out. “Buckle up, little one. We’re about to land,” Jesse announces while moving towards the bed. With care, he places the boy up at the top of the bed with the pillows and gives him a mock salute. “Stay right here, alright? Gonna get my pjs on as well, and then we’ll join your buir for dinner. I have a surprise for the both of you,” Jesse playfully winks at the wide eyed boy.

Turning around, Jesse opens your shared closet, and his shoulders relax while his eyes scan for his sleep clothes. He sifts through the clothing as the faint sound of your humming harmonizes to the song on the radio. A mischievous giggle causes him to look over his shoulder only to see Frith cloud gazing through the window wall. The dark clouds settle like a thick blanket across the last few rays of sunlight as they bleed into the night sky. Refocusing on the closet, Jesse hurries his search and a smile tugs at his lips as he pulls out his shirt from your clothing pile and sweatpants from his. Quickly changing, he then returns to the bedside and picks up his son to place on the floor. Jesse offers a hand to Frith, and his chest warms as the little boy’s tiny fingers wrap around two of his own. They then wander back into the living room where your quiet singing greets them.

Turning around with warm plates of fish and rice, you smile at your boys. “Dinner’s just about done. The bread just needs a few more minutes to cool”. You place the plates in front of the end seats of the breakfast counter and then reach over to grab Frith’s bowl before placing it in front of the middle seat.

“Perfect. I have a gift for my loves anyways, so we can wait on eating for just a minute,” Jesse says as he helps Frith up on his seat. At the mention of a present, Frith twists and turns in his father’s hands. “Patience, little one. I need to go get it,” he laughs and pats Frith’s curls before walking over to the entryway once more.

“You really didn’t have to, Jesse,” you weakly protest, “We’re grateful that you come home to us at the end of the day. That’s a gift in itself”.

A dusting of warmth tickles at Jesse’s cheeks, and he’s grateful his face is hidden as he pulls out two small wrapped parcels. “Let me treat you two,” he huffs. “Besides,” Jesse begins to explain while walking back to the two of you, “this assignment was a little different from my past ones. And it got me thinking about starting a little tradition for ourselves”.

You raise an eyebrow at Jesse as he places the small parcels in front of both of you, but a smile tugs at the corner of your lips. Butterflies tickle your stomach at his sweet consideration while so far away from home. Your fingers tap just by the side of the parcel, and Jesse chuckles as he sits down on the other side of your son.

“Went to Kashyyyk this time, and we were there as an extra security precaution,” Jesse explains as he helps Frith untie the green ribbon on his present. “This is the first celebration of Life Day since the wars began. The entire forest was lit with crystal orbs, and there were small fires that illuminated the great trees as families prepared delicious meals to share. We were fortunate enough to be adopted into some of their celebrations,” Jesse says with a bright smile. Watching Frith tear at the paper and fold it into little shapes, Jesse’s expression melts into a soft look of happiness. When his gaze flickers to meet yours, the warm feeling overcoming him only intensifies at your adoring expression as you listen intently. Jesse refocuses on Frith’s growing pile of scraps, and he moves it to the side to help his son open the wooden box. “They spent almost the whole day together by the oldest tree in the forest, the Tree of Life. It just got me thinking about our little family,” Jesse’s voice begins to soften. Frith gasps and shuffles the straw packing scraps to show the carved wooden Wookie toy. He looks up at Jesse with wide, amber eyes that twinkle. His beaming smile shows the tiny little teeth that Jesse can’t remember noticing since the last time he was home.

“Woo-wie!” Frith exclaims. His hands hold up the toy to show Jesse before spinning around in his seat to show you.

You chuckle at your son’s excitement and watch him start to play with it, creating an entire story in his mind to act out with his new toy. Pulling your gaze, you hesitantly look at Jesse and nudge your present with a finger. His chuckle brings a warm flush to your cheeks, and your hands carefully pull at the wrapping at his nod. As you open a very similar wooden box, you notice a metal plating that sits on the top. A group of Wookies of all different ages stand together in front of a great tree. The metal clasp feels heavy as you pull it up and reveal a bed of straw that shows an iridescent, crystal peeking through the openings. With care, you sweep off some of the straw and pick up the orb by its rope casing. When the final ray of sunlight hits it, small patches of rainbows reflect off of it as it spins in your hold. “It’s beautiful, Jesse,” you murmur. Completely entranced by the delicate, yet sound object as if twists and turns from the rope tension. “You really didn’t need to,” you try to deflect, but your smile contradicts your words.

Jesse lays an arm over the back of Frith’s chair to gently rest a hand on your upper arm, rubbing his thumb across your skin. After placing the orb back into its package, your hand rests on his as the two of you share a loving look. Until Frith and his Wookie toy use your arms as a set for their adventure. The two of you look at each with a knowing glance before joining Frith’s laughter. Jesse moves his arm away to clean up the breakfast bar temporarily, and he coaxes the toy from Frith’s grip. “Just until after dinner, alright? Buir spent so much time making us food that we’d enjoy, and it’d be rude not to focus your attention on that,” Jesse explains and pats Frith’s head.

The three of you enjoy your meals as the moon rises behind the city skyline. Cutlery clatters against the bowls that have well-worn chips at the edges. As if no time has passed since the last time all the seats at the breakfast bar have been filled, the three of you chat in soft tones only interrupted by excited gasps from the youngest member of the family.

Jesse starts to clear the dishes and presses a chaste kiss to your temple when you try to protest. “You just got home and haven’t even taken a shower yet,” you note. He leans against the sink edge on the opposite side of the breakfast bar, and your cheeks warm at his amused expression. Frith’s quiet yawn pulls your attention away from your partner, and his head begins to sink lower onto your arm.

Jesse’s expression melts at the sight of his son starting to fall asleep in your arms. Even with so much love and adoration he feels looking at the two of you, a pang stabs his heart. Focusing his attention on the sudsy dishes, Jesse tries to relax the frown pulling at his lips. Over the rushing water, he hears your chair scrape against the tile accompanied by soft hums. Footsteps lightly patter closer to him, and Jesse turns with what he hopes isn’t as forced of a smile as it feels.

“I’ll get this one into bed, if you want to stay up for a little bit to chat,” you quietly offer. Careful not to startle Frith from his slumber, but also understanding that something hangs over Jesse’s mind. “You still need to tell me about this tradition you want to start,” you say as you shift Frith onto your hip and rest a palm on your partner’s cheek.

Jesse closes his eyes and leans into your palm. For a moment the pressure building in his skull subsides, but when he looks into your attentive gaze, he feels it come full force again. “Read my mind, cy’are,” Jesse says. His voice low and slightly shaking with emotion. When your hand pulls away, he follows. Not wanting to yearn for the touches he desperately misses the majority of his rotations away. He doesn’t have to go without for much longer though, as you press a soft kiss to his lips. Followed by another shorter one. Ended with a peck to the corner of his lips and your laughter filling the room.

“I’ll be right back,” you hum. Your chest swells with pride seeing Jesse’s expression relax and his shoulders ease. You walk with purpose from the kitchen across the apartment to the bedroom. Eager to return to your lover for a moment to yourselves.

Jesse shuts off the faucet and turns off the lights before leaving the kitchen. In a few steps, he sinks into the plush cushions. His head rolls to rest on the back of the couch, and his eyes flutter closed. From the other room, your soft words ease not only your son to sleep, but also Jesse as he refamiliarizes himself with the love he has for these mundane moments. Not even noticing your approach until the cushion next to his sinks, and you press into his side. His breath hitches as your hand softly trails across his stomach, and he relaxes into your touch.

“Credit for your thoughts,” you hum. Resting your elbow on the back of the couch, you lean onto your fist. You move your other hand to lightly trace the crown of his head. His eyelashes flutter before his amber eyes meet your gaze. Fatigue clouds the normally lighthearted gaze you’ve come to love. “What’s wrong, love?”

Jesse sighs and takes your head to press a kiss to your knuckles before bringing to his lap. Fiddling with your fingers, he collects his thoughts, but the guilt gnawing him makes it difficult to grasp how to voice his feelings. “I don’t know,” Jesse quietly admits. The words feel heavy on his tongue as he tries to push them out. “Or, I do know,” he corrects himself, “I just don’t know how to feel about it”.

“Talk to me,” you plead and squeeze his hand.

“I think I want to end my contract with the GAR at this renewal period,” Jesse slowly voices. Processing the words as he speaks. Finally putting his thoughts out into the open, his heart pounds. “But I don’t know if I’m ready to leave the only home and family I’ve known for so long. And I’m not putting my brothers over our family or discounting the home we’ve created together,” Jesse rushes to assure you. His eyes flicker across your thoughtful expression before dropping to your hands. Out of the corner of his eyes, he notices your nod and continues, “I want to be here for you and Frith. I want to watch my son grow up and experience his milestones with you. To wake up with you every morning and sleep in whenever we want. Plan trips to the city gardens and go on Frith’s adventures, wherever his imagination takes us. I just don’t know if I’m ready to leave the only constant I’ve had in my life. Everything is still so - so new and unknown outside of the GAR, but I’m excited to experience life with our family”.

“Do you need a moment, or would you like to hear my thoughts,” you ask. Adjusting your grip, you hold his hand in your own to rub soothing circles across his battered knuckles. Hands that have held guns and punched bounty hunters, but hold you with such tenderness.

“I always want to hear your thoughts,” Jesse replies without hesitation, “You’re the one with the brains and beauty. I’m the muscle and charm”. A hollow laugh escapes him, and it doesn’t even attempt to ease the heavy atmosphere settling around the two of you.

“You're more than what the GAR and Republic have forced you to be, Jesse,” you gently assert. Wanting to squash any fear or guilt he has, you nudge your nose at his chin to make him look at you. “But I don’t expect you to jump into a world you have no knowledge about. Especially when so many of its people have looked at you and your brothers with prejudice and disrespect, even when you all have sacrificed so much for them”. You pause for a moment and take in his nervous gaze. “We’re here for you when you return. Excited to welcome you home and create memories with the time we have,” you reassure him with another squeeze to his hand. You pick up your hands and drape your legs over his to scooch closer. His other arm pulls you into his chest as his hand rests on top of your thigh. Resting your hand on the back of his neck, you lazily trail your fingers in small patterns. “I won’t lie and say I’m not worried about the worst case scenario. That a patrol goes wrong, and Rex is the one at our doorway instead of you. But I know you love your brothers and you’re loyal to the people the GAR serves, so I will never force you to choose between your family there or with us. Whether you decide to renew your contract or not, that will be your choice. I’ll support you whatever you decide is best for you. We’ll figure out a way to make it work ”.

Jesse presses his face into the crook of your neck and takes a deep breath. With a small nod, Jesse mumbles, “I don’t think I’m ready to leave it altogether. There should be a way for me to request shorter deployments under the Family Care Act, so I’ll ask Rex what my options are. I have some time to think about it more until my contract negotiation”.

You hum and gently scratch the back of his head. His soft sigh fans across your skin and sends small sparks through you. “What did you have in mind for a tradition,” you softly mumble.

“Would it be okay to set aside some credits for me while on deployment?” Jesse asks and pulls himself up to look at you. The confusion that pinches your forehead brings a chuckle from him.

“We have a shared account, Jesse. You don’t need to ask if you can spend our money. You contribute to it just as much as I do,” you begin. Worried that he feels like he has to ask you permission to go out with friends or pick up a token from the planet he visits.

“I know, I know,” Jesse quickly assures you. “Lately I’ve been struggling being away from you and Frith -- especially seeing him grow so fast -- when I’m away. When I was on patrol in the marketplace, I felt the most relaxed looking at the different booths and thinking about what the two of you would most enjoy. How you would react if I brought you new ingredients to experiment with or how you’d look with a bracelet. It was like the two of you were with me for a moment, and I felt like myself”. Jesse moves his hand away from your leg and cups your cheek with a watery smile. Relief floods his system as tears sting his lash line. The anxiety that nips at the back of his mind fizzes. “If it’s okay with you, I’d like to get the two of you something -- something small, I promise --each time I travel to a different planet on deployment. Just to keep you guys close to heart while I’m away. I like picking out presents that the two of you will enjoy. It lets me express my love for you even systems away, and I get excited when I find the perfect gift”.

After a moment to think, you say,“I don’t want you to feel like you have to buy us things to show that you love us. You do so much for us even without these thoughtful gifts”. You bite your lip to hold back the bashful smile threatening to break your serious expression.

“But,” Jesse draws out the word. An infectious smile blooms across his face as he watches you try to maintain your composure, but he knows just how much you appreciate his love language.

You roll your eyes and laugh lightly, still careful not to be too loud to stir Frith in the other room. “If you find something that you’d like to buy -- for yourself or someone else -- you don’t need my permission. We’re partners, Jesse, and I trust your judgment,” you reassure him.

Jesse pulls you into his chest with a groan before falling onto the couch, bringing you with him. “I love you,” he sighs and peppers kisses across your face. Your laughter makes his chest warm, but he quickly shushes you. The two of you wait with apprehensive expressions, but the two of you sigh in relief when the little one doesn’t grumble or cry over the faint hum of the radio.

“I love you,” you hum, “Now, let’s get you in the shower”. You wrinkle your nose at the lingering sweat and grime that always seems to blend into Jesse’s natural scent.

He wags his eyebrows at you and laughs at the sharp jab to his ribs. “Care to join me, cy’are? No funny business, ARC Trooper’s honor,” he promises.

You squint your eyes at him. “I’ve met your brothers, and I don’t think that means all that much,” you joke. You sit up and push off of the couch to stand up. Offering your hand, you raise an eyebrow at Jesse. “We can call one of your brothers tomorrow to see if they’ll babysit,” you promise.

A tired chuckle falls from Jesse’s lips, and he lets you pull him up. Wrapping an arm around your waist, he presses a kiss to the top of your head. “I have a favor or two I can cash in, but I’m warning you, Fives and Hardcase will only try to start their charm lessons if we let them watch Frith”.

“Which is why we’re cashing in a favor with Echo or Kix,” you push back. The two of you walk into the bedroom and pause by the crib by the side of the bed. Frith sleeps soundly with the blue blanket, tucked under his chin, that his uncle’s gifted him the first day he came home with you and Jesse. When Jesse goes to cover Frith’s feet with the blanket, you stop him quickly and shake your head. The last time you tried to do that, Frith wouldn’t stop sobbing for the entire night. “We’re doing good,” you whisper.

Jesse looks at you with a mock look of exasperation before it melts into a sincere smile. “We’re doing amazing,” he agrees and quickly presses a kiss to your temple. “We’ll figure this out together”.

You pull Jesse from the bedroom towards the bathroom with a smirk, “It also helps that we have so many uncles to help us out when we need a day to ourselves as well”.

Jesse bites down on his knuckle to hold back the booming laugh that suddenly hits him. “I swear you’re just trying to get me into trouble,” he wheezes. Squeezing your hand, Jesse finally feels at ease.

“I need someone to help me remind you of how much you love me when you’re so far away,” you tease and leave the door slightly cracked. Enough to keep to hear if Frith needs anything while creating a sense of privacy for the two of you.

“Trust me, cy’are,” Jesse rests his hands on your hips, “There’s never a moment where you’re not on my mind”. Jesse presses a kiss to your lips and pulls you close, desperate to sever any remaining distance between the two of you. He nips at your bottom lip, bringing a light giggle from you that makes his heart feel complete. Happy to finally be home, reunited with the two most important people in his life.f

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toomanybandstocare · 1 year

Text

{I Wish I Never Asked}

Program: It's no secret that there's something going on between you and Fives, and the entire 501st is trying to get one of you to admit that there's more than lust and friendship. A welcome party at your apartment brings in good people, decent drinks, and revealing secrets. Maybe the confident ARC trooper isn't all that sure of himself or his emotions as he leads everyone to believe.

Pairing: FWB, ARC Trooper Fives x FWB, GN! Reader

Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Second Chances

Length: 5k w

Warnings: Petname (Cy'are), Reader gets embarrassed in front of everyone, Drinking/Party

Camp Resolute Masterlist

ClonexReader Bingo Masterlist

Prompt: "This is awkward" Hosted by: @clonexreaderbingo

Counselor Notes: The thought of Fives admitting he doesn't love reader in front of everyone during a drinking game popped into my head...and then he wanted to make it when I started writing it smh. Y'all got lucky. I wasn't planning on giving anyone any comfort, but Fives genuinely would want to make it right and try to make himself a better version of himself to treat you with the care you deserve.

Courecent’s cool breeze causes your skin to prickle, but the mix of Endorian port and Fives’ fleeting touches warm you. The boys in blue had just arrived from their latest assignment bringing back a new drink and many stories to share. Naturally, they messaged their friends and partners to host a party to celebrate their safe return home. As soon as the chronometer displayed your usual dinnertime, all your friends began to pile into your apartment. The sliding door to your terrace stays open as people come and go to bring out food and drinks for the group at the outdoor lounge area.

Tucked into Fives side, you sit on the love seat and nurse an ebla beer to take a break from your previous heavy drinks. Your body buzzes as a comfortable haze blankets over your mind. You hum when Fives’ arm drapes over your shoulder and lazily trails his fingers over your skin.

As the conversation begins to die down after Echo retells Jesse’s mishap with a speeder, Hardcase jumps in his seat. “How about a game?” he eagerly suggests.

Fives perks up. A new sense of excitement washes over the dull boredom that nipped at the back of his mind all night. Content to have his favorite person by his side again, Fives needs something to keep his mind from wandering to how your lips felt against his earlier in the evening. Or how Jared’s friend, Ashlan, looks handsome in the sheer top he wears adorned with a gold chain around his neck. And especially away from the conflicting storm of emotions that seems to overcome him when he thinks about anyone but you in that regard. His attention easily latches onto the game. “What did you have in mind?” he calls out.

“It’s called True or not true,” Hardcase starts to explain as he clears off the table, “Similar to Truth or Dare, but it’s only truth. The only way out -- not that it’s much of one -- is to take a shot if you don’t want to answer the question”. Hardcase finishes off his beer and places the empty bottle in the center of the table. His eyes twinkle with mischief as he eyes the group, “This should be an interesting night, then. Who wants to go first?”

Everyone seems to hesitate. All eyes warily look at the awaiting bottle.

“For kriffsake, it’s not going to hurt anyone,” Jesse breaks the silence and leans over to spin the bottle.

Your body locks stiff as you watch the bottle teeter around the table. Your heart races as it begins to slow in speed. Everyone whispers and shushes each other. As it stills, your stomach drops and your shoulder relaxes when Kix groans. A light laugh falls from your lips as you rest your head on Fives’s shoulder.

He looks down at you with a raised eyebrow and a smirk, and Fives nudges you. “What? Afraid of sharing secrets with your friends?” Fives quietly teases.

“Depends on what the question is,” you slyly reply. You peer up at him through your eyelashes. Your cheeks flush under his gaze, and you nudge back as his smirk grows larger. “You’re awful,” you sigh.

“Me?” Fives exclaims. His voice is thick with faux disbelief. Fives wraps his arm tighter around you when you try to push away, and he pulls you closer. His heart hammers when your bodies collide, and he feels you laugh while trying to regain your balance on his lap. Fives ducks his head to mumble into your ear, “I’m awful? Pretty sure I’ve taken care of you very well when I come home”. He feels you shiver in his hold, and his chest swells with pride. Fives leans back into the seat and looks at you with a content look.

Your heartbeat echoes in your ears as you look back at the smug man with an incredulous look. Cheeks burning, you lightly smack his chest only making him laugh. “My point exactly,” you hiss. Your eyes scan the group, and you’re thankful everyone is screeching in shock about Kix’s response.

“I fucking knew it,” Jesse hollers and points at his brother, “When did you put the medbay on lock down? Was it after Felucia?”

“Of course I have, and Coric was in on it,” Kix response with as much heat, “We have to fix you di’kuts everytime we leave base. The least we can get is an hour of peace and quiet away from you lot”.

“Don’t drag me into this,” Coric leans forward with a shit eating grin, “And Jesse you had your question. No follow ups allowed”. As Jesse shakes his head and takes a sip of his beer, Coric flicks the bottle.

Once more, your blood rushes to your ears drowning out everyone’s lighthearted chatter. Only this time your stomach drops as the bottle points between you and Fives. You look at Fives with wide eyes and his matching expression causing you to bark out an involuntary laugh. You’ve rarely seen the man so shocked.

“Well,” Coric tilts his head and slowly thinks out loud, “as usual, the pair of you are attached at the hip”. And like all vod’ika when they stubbornly admit they need guidance, he looks to Rex who leans against the balcony railing nursing a glass of Corellian whisky.

When he watches Coric’s frantic arm flailing towards the unofficial couple and the beer bottle, Rex rolls his eyes and sighs. He makes a note to cut off his brother and intercept solo cups with water bottles. “Fine,” Rex gruffs and takes a step closer to the group. “If you want me to be the decision maker, then I get to ask the question. Fair?” Rex raises an eyebrow at Coric. He looks like he’s about to protest before he bites his tongue and collapses into his seat once more. Rex smiles, and he shifts his gazes to the apprehensive couple in the love seat. A wash of concern stings Rex when his eyes look onto yours. He pulls his gaze away while trying to fake a thoughtful look to mask the guilt that sits heavy on his chest. His younger brother’s weak deflections from anyone’s questions about your relationship run through Rex's head. They only make him even more confused by your current situation on the couch. Entangled and enveloped in a world of your own world as if no one’s the wiser of something happening there. He swallows the lump in his throat, and he decides you deserve an answer. Nodding his head, Rex looks at you again and calls out your name. “True or not true. You’re head over heels for Fives”.

Your head jolts backwards as if Rex’s words hit you in the face. Your expressions pinches before you try to brush off the hesitation with a weak laugh. Not looking at the man involved in the question, you try to keep your voice casual. “I guess it’s true in a way. We’re friends. I just,” you pause and make a vague motion with your hand, “love spending time with him”. Even your response doesn’t convince you, so you keep your gaze focused on your drink.

After a deafening beat of silence, Hardcase whistles lowly. His eyes dart across the group, and he clears his throat. “So the tough questions are coming out this fast,” he laughs, “I was not expecting that. Especially from Rex”. With a clap of his hands, Hardcase spins the bottle.

While everyone falls into quiet chatter, you slip back onto the couch from Fives’ stiff posture. Your eyes dart to Hardcase who’s already looking towards you with a concerned gaze. You smile and shrug it off. Mouthing your gratitude, you try to relax. But Rex’s question replays in your mind and waters the seeds of insecurity that have already taken root in your mind. Pursing your lips, you steal a glance at Fives out of the corner of your eyes. No longer paying attention to the game, he looks off into the distance with a serious expression and thumbs the curve of the bottle in his hand. You take a sharp inhale and look away to see the bottle on the table stop in front of Ashlan.

“You know,” Hardcase muses, “I’m going to follow this lead as well. True or not true, Ashlan, you have your eyes set on someone”.

“Feeling a little left out of the action, Hardcase,” Ashlan teases. He then closes his eyes and tilts his head in thought. When he opens his eyes, the Pantoran’s gaze holds a sharp glint that unsettles you. “True,” he simply responds with a shrug.

Kix’s gaze flickers from Ashlan to Fives, and his stomach knots when he watches you carefully eye this new connection. “Let’s keep it going then,” Kix breaks the tense atmosphere and gently twists the bottle. He hopes that his luck hasn’t run out as he watches it wobble and slow down. When it teeters to a stop in front of Fives, Kix breathes a subtle sigh of relief. Without missing a beat, Kix tries to keep the edge to his voice in control: “True or not true, Fives. You’re head over heels for the host of the party”. Kix grinds his teeth as Fives looks at him with a pained expression.

Fives looks at his brother with wide eyes that soon flicker to Ashlan and then to you. Acutely aware of everyone’s gazes on him, Fives runs a hand over his face. Dread boils into anxiety that causes his stomach to churn. He feels sickly as his body burns from the guilt stoking in his chest. Taking a deep breath and slowly exhaling it, Fives shakes his head. “Not true,” he forces the words past the lump forming in his throat. “Not completely at least,” he tries to explain the tangled mess of emotions that have kept him up at night. He knows that his words are lost on deaf ears.

The night air hangs still over the terrace patio. Everyone holds their breath as they try not to look at Fives. Their eyes certainly don’t meet your blank expression. No one notices Ashlan wince.

“This is awkward,” Hardcase mutters under his breath. Though with no one else speaking, his words are deafening.

Rex lightly smacks the back of his vod’ika’s head with a hard expression, “Not the time”.

Without another word, you get up and everyone shuffles their legs out of your way as you make your leave. Your chest constricts as you try to even your breathing. You step into your apartment and shut the door shut behind you. The silence rushes over you as you quickly walk into your room with tears stinging in your eyes.

Fives feels like he can’t breathe. He feels dizzy as his mind races. The two of you never defined what you were, so Fives knew the casual dates he went on weren’t wrong. But the lingering thoughts of what you were doing while he was away quickly shut him off mid way through getting to know the other person. Darting his tongue across his bottom lip, Fives places the bottle down by his foot before standing. “Everyone out. Party’s over,” Fives hollers. Without a second thought, Fives follows your path and steps over everyone’s legs to go after you. He spares a glance to Rex who nods and begins to guide everyone to start cleaning up. Quickly opening and stepping through the door, Fives shut it as he scans the open layout. A sliver of illumination from under your bedroom door guides him to stand before it. Broken sobs and cries wrenches Fives’ heart. He leans his forehead on the door and shuts his eyes. Softly calling out your name, Fives lightly raps his knuckles bringing your sniffles to an attempted silence. “Can we talk?” he quietly pleads.

His muffled question resparks your frustration as you sniff, “Didn’t you already say enough?”

Fives squeezes his eyes to the point where the dull pain in his head sears in a white hot flash. “Not enough. Certainly not enough to you. Please,” his voice breaks, “Please, let me explain”.

Your eyes burn as you look at the door in disdain. However -- regardless of how much your brain pleads with your heart not to open itself up again -- your need for closure wins. “You can come in,” you hoarsely call out.

Fives’ eyes fly open. After his mind registers your words, he presses the control panel. When the door hisses open, the air is knocked out of his chest as he takes in your puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. As the sliding glass door opens with quiet murmurs, Fives quickly steps into your room to shut the door and shield you from the others. “I should have been better,” Fives rushes out. He takes a few steps towards you, and he drops to sit on the ground to still allow you space. “I-I,” Fives stammers and he shakes his ducked head, “I should have talked to you. Tell you how I was feeling, and I’ve hurt you. The singular most important person in my life, and I’ve shattered their heart and trust”.

“What was going through your head, Fives?” your voice wavers. A man you can’t even recognize sits before you, and you stare in disbelief while waiting for him to look at you.

“Everything,” Fives breathes out, “And none of it was making any sense”. Tears bubble and threaten to pour over his lash line, so he quickly blicks them away. This isn’t about him. He’s the one who messed up. He doesn’t deserve for you to listen to his mess of a thought process. His chest rises and falls quickly, and Fives pulls his legs to his chest to rest his head on his knees.

Your eyebrows crease in concern as you watch Fives curl into himself. “Fives?” you softly call out, “What’s wrong?” Tell me”. As much as you want to reach out and pull him into your arms, you hold yourself back and grip your comforter.

“I fucked up,” Fives hoarsely slurs. “We said we were keeping it casual. That we care for our friendship, and that comes before everything”. Fives raises his head and tries to ease the pounding in his skull with his knuckles. He looks up at you dejectedly and tucks a knee under his chin. “And I was trying so hard,” he forces the words out, “It just got too hard, though. Sending a message just to share a night together. Not being able to rest my arm on your waist when we’re out at 79s. Leaving you alone every time I have to go on deployment. It got too hard, and I was confused”.

“About what?” you breathlessly ask. Your heart hammers against your chest, and the sharp shards sting you as hope gets the best of you.

“It’s always been hard to leave you. I adore you. You’ve been there for me for everything, and you’re such an important friend,” Fives explains. He practically spits out the last word though as it causes a pang to stab his heart. “I don’t even want to use that word to describe what you mean to me. That’s not enough. It’s never been enough. And when I started to realize that, things got messy. I was overwhelmed, and I didn’t know who I could talk to about it”. A sob breaks past his resolve, and his chest shudders. “Everyone kept asking about us. What we were. If we were together. How long was I going to wait to tell you how I feel. This pressure to figure out what I did feel for you just built up to the point where I felt like I was about to break. Because everything I feel for you is indescribable, and I’ve never felt this strongly for a person before”. Tears run down his face, and Fives doesn’t bother to hide them from you. A lightheadedness overcomes him as his breathing grows ragged. “And I hurt you,” he frustratedly cries out, “I hurt the person I’m falling head over heels in love with, and I’ll never forgive myself for that. I fucked up our friendship, and I know I’ve probably lost you. And I’ll live with that for the rest of my life, because you deserve so much better than some clone who runs from his emotions”. Fives’ lip wobbles, and he bites down on it to try to contain himself. This isn’t about him. He shouldn’t have said anything at all. He should have just consoled you like he intended. Let you move on and meet someone who will treat you with the care you deserve.

Even with the tense atmosphere that’s settled around the two of you, a weight comes off your shoulders. Slipping off your bed, you shuffle to Fives to sit beside him. One arm wraps around Fives’ heaving shoulders and pulls him to rest his head on your shoulder as a shaky hand cards through his curls. Fives tries to fight back and pull away, but you keep him tucked into your side. “Let it out. It’s okay, Fives. You’re safe,” you softly mumble. Your voice still raw from the sobs that wracked your body as you soothe him.

“No,” Fives croaks, “You shouldn’t be comforting me. I’m so sorry. I should leave. Let you think about what’s best for you. If you don’t want me in your life, I completely understand. Whatever will be best for you. I’ve always just wanted you to be happy even if that means never seeing you again”. His mind races with a whirlwind of conflicting emotions, but he slowly sinks into your embrace.

“Listen to me,” you plead, “Fives, I understand. I may not completely know how you’re feeling or what it’s been like trying to figure out your emotions, but I hear you. You can’t bottle up your emotions. You have so many people who care about you and will listen to what you need to say”. You press his head further into the crook of your neck, and the tears that fall onto your collarbone sting your skin. “You are not alone. Especially in figuring out your emotions. That’s not a simple ordeal, and everyone has to go about it at some point their life. You are not the only person who struggles with that”.

“I should have talked to you. To Echo. Kriff, even Rex would have knocked some sense into me,” Fives sobs. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you”.

“We’re going to work through this,” you promise. “You’re not just some clone, Fives. Please don’t ever use that as an insult to you, or your brothers. All of you are such wonderful people. You’re an amazing person. Granted, you’re a little dumb sometimes,” you lightly tease. A choked laugh breaks his whimpers, and your chest swells. “We’re going to figure out a support system for you, alright?”

After a moment of catching his breath, Fives pulls his head up to look at you. His eyes prick again when he meets your concerned expression. “Why are you so quick to help me? You should be telling me to leave you alone” he quietly asks.

You smile at Fives and slide your hand to cup his jaw. Rubbing his puffy face with your thumb, you reassure him, “We aren’t going back to the way things were, but I still want you in my life, Fives. I need some space, and it’ll do us both some good”.

“Why are you treating me with such care when I’ve broken you?” Fives helplessly looks at you. His eyes flicker between your desperately trying to grasp onto how you could be so quick to forgive his mistreatment of your heart. Your soothing touch helps him catch his breath, and the thundering headache raging in his head is more tolerable.

A pained smile pulls at your lips. “Because I love you. And people do dumb things when they’re in love,” you simply explain. You raise an eyebrow as you watch a smile tug at Fives’ lips. You sigh, “Go ahead. I suppose I walked into that one”.

“Do me, I’m dumb,” Fives chuckles. Hearing your laughter mis with his rather than your sobs, Fives feels a weight come off his shoulders. When the small moment of reprieve comes to an end, he looks at you with a serious expression. “So space,” he brings it up again.

You nod. “Jared and his twin, Embrey, run a health clinic called The Loven Institute. It’s specifically intended to help troopers with physical therapy and mental health wellness. You could reach out to see if they have any available therapists. Start to process everything that’s weighing down on your mind”, you offer.

“What if,” Fives hesitates, “what if I don’t get to a point where it would be good for us to see each other again before I have to leave for deployment?”

“If you think I’m letting you leave me without a single goodbye or hug, you clearly don’t know me that well,” you say and squeeze his shoulder. “And we don’t have to wait for that abstract moment either. Give it a couple of sessions and then call me, yeah? You don’t have to go through this alone, Fives”. You pull away from him and stand to your feet.

Fives watches with wary eyes as you grab your comlink. He jumps slightly when he hears his go off in his pocket. His heart races as stands on wobbly legs and scratches the back of his neck. “I’m sorry, cy’are,” Fives apologizes.

You turn to face him with an understanding expression. “Thank you, Fives,” you respond. Fatigue weighs down on your bones as you lead the pair of you out of your bedroom and towards the entryway. Pausing by the door, you feel Fives’ presence behind you and feel the overwhelming mix of emotions around him. You turn around and open your arms.

Fives looks at you for a moment before a grateful smile breaks his hard expression. He steps into your arms, and he feels at home when they tightly arm around him. Pressing his face into the crook of your neck, Fives wraps his arms around your waist and takes a deep breath. “I’ll clear everything up with them,” Fives mumbles and motions to the door with his chin. “I don’t want you to feel like you’ve lost all of them as friends, because they absolutely adore you”.

You rub small circles between his shoulder blades and trail your other hand the length of his spine. You chuckle, “I somehow think everyone was on my side tonight. You’re probably going to have hell to deal with, and you should have some sense knocked into you a little”. Fives hums, and it tickles your skin.

With one more squeeze, Fives pulls away and cups your cheek. “You need to get some rest,” he says and looks over your tired appearance, “Let Rex or Kix know if there’s anything you need, alright?” He raises an eyebrow when you try to shake your head in protest. If he can’t take care of you, the least he can do is see to it someone you both trust will.

“Sounds good. Thank you,” you promise. You raise a hand to hold his wrist and give it a squeeze before stepping back. Pressing the control panel, you open the door. “I’ll talk to you soon,” you say as he walks by you.

“Talk to you soon,” Fives promises with a sad smile. He waits for the door to close and lock behind him, and he looks at you with such tender regard. Neither of you want to end the night like this, but some doors must close for others to open. Fives gives you a nod of encouragement, and when the door hisses shut and locks, his smile drops.

Shoving his hands in his pockets, Fives walks down the hallway. His footsteps echo in the night’s quietness. His mind aches from his admittance, but it’s the pain that crushes his heart that makes the short walk difficult. When he rounds the corner to the elevators, Fives blinks in surprise. Absolutely certain that none of his brothers would want to speak to him again, he takes a deep breath as he looks Rex in the eye.

A pained expression falls across Rex’s face as he looks over his vod’ika. Tired, broken, and battered, Rex witnesses a version of Fives he’s never seen before. He presses the call button with a knuckle. “I wish I never asked that question,” Rex begins to apologize. His words come out slow and deliberate as he tries to decide the best way to help his little brother.

Fives shakes his head. When the elevator opens before them, he motions for Rex to go in first and follows. “A lot of good came out of it actually,” he reassures Rex. However, the words bring a wash of clam over him as well. It was going to be okay. Regardless of whether the two of you stay friends or step into a relationship after he starts to work through his emotions, it would be okay. “Do you know about The Loven Institute?” Fives asks while turning to look at Rex.

Rex’s eyebrows shoot up. “The Loven Institute? Sure, that’s where Wolffe went for physical therapy with his eye replacement. Almost every clone finds his way there at some point, but only with a referral,” he explains. When Fives turns away, Rex recognizes the faint disappointed look on his face. A quiet sound of realization falls from his lips when he connects the sudden interest. For the rest of the ride, Rex thinks about Fives’ request. It could be possible to start the referral process. He could create the report then have Coric sign off on it, and he could twist Cody’s arm to put a seal of approval on it. Not that it would take much convincing. Rex’s ori’vod had been messaging him to check in through the night and was concerned by how things turned out. It could work.

When the elevator dings at its stop, Rex motions for Fives to exit first before following behind. “I’ll see what I can do to put your name in,” Rex casually muses. “I’m sure that if you're struggling with emotions and experiences that should excite you, that you might be struggling with what you witness on the battlefield as well,” Rex thinks out loud. He looks at Fives out of the corner of his eyes, and his heart stops at the small nod Fives gives. Rex never thought that would be the case. He was just thinking of a way to push Fives’ name further along in the referral process. A wave of concern and determination overcomes Rex as the two men leave the apartment building. Courescent’s cool air wraps around them as they make their way back to base. Slinging an arm over Fives’ shoulders, Rex knocks into his side. “You’re not alone in this, Fives,” Rex firmly assures, “Anyone of us will listen to you and help you the best we can. We’ll figure something out”.

Fives nods and flashes Rex an appreciative look. His steps become lighter as they stumble through the streets of the city planet as he finds his way home in the early hours of the morning.

Your eyes flutter open after another restless night. Each time you tried to fall asleep, your mind raced with memories of last week’s get together. Morning rays of sunlight streams through your blinds as you wrap yourself in your comforter while you doze off into the land between consciousness and sleep. The sunlight kisses your skin as you stretch your achy muscles and shake off the sleepiness.

A chime twinkles and pulls your attention from the blissful blanket haven. As your mind begins to wake up officially, the entryway chime rings again. With a hum of discontent, you push up and out of your bed to pad across your apartment. Rubbing the sleep from your eyes, you press the control panel. When the door opens to reveal no one in sight your gaze sharpens in alarm. Scanning the hallway, you take a step forward only to nudge a basket with your toe. You look down to find a large package filled with a bouquet of your favorite flowers, your comfort snacks, new books and movies, and much more. Taken aback at the surprise gesture, you peer into the hallway once more to see if anyone might have left it here or if any neighbors were around for you to ask. With no such luck, you carefully pick up the package and walk it into your apartment to place on your small dining table.

You run your fingers over each of the thoughtful gifts, and your attention latches onto a card tucked into the side. Freeing it from its hiding spot, you open it.

Cy’are, I hope you’re taking care of yourself and have been getting some rest. If you feel up to it, or would like some company, all the boys are eager to see you again. When I asked if someone could run this over to you, it was a madhouse with them trying to volunteer. Jesse won out by snagging it running before anyone could say anything. Everyone misses you and wants to make sure you’re doing alright. My first session is today. As much as I’m nervous, I’m looking forward to it. Try to go outside today if you can. Courescent is supposed to be beautiful with sunshine and an afternoon light rain. Your favorite café has some new books in their selection that could be good to curl up and enjoy. Be safe, Fives

You smile and lightly run your finger over the corner of the card. Everything would be alright with time.

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