#cmon you rich fools

[wetkitchenpaint]

literally what are these jackets, they read "these men have too much money" lmao

[kuroosdarling]

𓆩♡𓆪 kuroo x reader

𓆩♡𓆪 wc: 3.4k

𓆩♡𓆪 cw: MDNI !!! established relationship, pussy!drunk kuroo tbh, unprotected sex, dry humping/grinding, spanking (like once), lots of praise, creampies, overstimulation, kuroo is v in love with you

kuroo just can’t help but wake up his precious baby when he’s feeling needy. what does the time even matter anyway?

a barrage of kisses lulls you out of your deep slumber. kuroo was behind you, shifting around as he craned his body over your dormant one that was still tucked snuggly next to him. unpleased with your lack of attention, he pulls on your arm as he slinks back into his spot behind you.

“tetsu stop.” you hiss with a faint smile on your face, moving your arm away from his clutches. it was too early for him to this awake, especially on a sunday. his hands roughly trailed down your sides before grabbing onto your ass.

“you say that but you keep shoving your ass against my cock and expect me not to do anything about it.” his deep voice tickles your ear, his breath feels hot against your skin, flowing through your body and curling deep down in your core. he pulls you in even closer as you try to suppress a giggle. “gonna give in yet?”

“cmon, i’ll treat you real nice.” he purred, nuzzling his face against your neck before pressing open mouthed kisses down the side of your throat. “i’ll even fuck you back to sleep if you want.”

“cmon, i’ll treat you real nice.” he purred, nuzzling his face against your neck before pressing open mouthed kisses down the side of your throat. “i’ll even fuck you back to sleep if you want.”

“you’re so annoying.” you groan, craning your neck up to peek at the clock on your nightstand. [5:23]. his lips chased the spot he was previously latched onto, colliding back against your neck so he could reel you back in. he knew all your weakest spots and he wasn’t afraid to play dirty. “what’s got you so pressed this morning?”

“you, sweetheart. have you seen yourself?” his hands snaked their way under your shirt, tracing over your warmth slowly as he wraps his arms around you, pulling you impossibly close. his skin was hot against yours, a raging fire that easily poured itself into you. “you expect me to just let you get away with wearing one of my shirts? there’s a price to pay, you know.”

it was still too dark out to see anything in the room but you could feel him everywhere. there didn’t need to be any light as the spark igniting within you was bright enough. besides, the two of you knew each other’s bodies like the back of your hands. fooling around in the dark only enhanced that fact, almost becoming a game of who knows each other’s bodies better.

“mmm, didn’t i pay it last night?” you tease, not so subtly wiggling back against him even more, relishing in the sharp intake of his breath before he let it back out in a smooth chuckle. his hard length was pressed up against you, somewhat nestled up against your back as it quickly finds it’s home there.

“you’re such a little tease.” he smirks against your neck before continuing his onslaught of kisses, trailing down to your shoulder that was slyly peeking out from the loose shirt you had on. his hips started rocking against you gently, trying to coax out a sweet moan from you.

“that’s rich, coming from you.” you fire back, moving your hips in time with his. kuroo’s hold tightened against you before one of his hands reach up from around your waist to cup your breast, smoothing his calloused fingers over the peaked nub. he kisses back up your neck, his tongue dipping out to trace along the side of it before sucking right onto your pulse point. a small whine fell from between your lips before you try to choke it back.

“such a brat.” he mumbled against your skin before pulling back.

the room was still dark, dawn barely starting to poke it’s way through the curtains in your shared bedroom. kuroo sat up, his silhouette casting a faint shadow over you. you quickly turn on your back, giving him a pout at the loss of contact. but you had played right into his hands.

kuroo wasted no time in climbing over you, his chest sliding up to press up against yours so his face was directly over yours. his arms caged beside your head, keeping you right where he wanted you.

“that’s better, don’t you think?” his lips hovers over yours, his breath tickling your face. for a moment, you don’t say anything, your eyes trying to get into focus on kuroo’s pretty features shining through the dark. the wait must’ve been too long as he chuckled and tilted his head to the side. “what’s got you feeling shy all of a sudden?”

that was it; it was your turn to surprise him now. your arms wrap around the back of his head, pulling him in so your mouth could melt against his. he groaned into the kiss, the sweet noise flowing right to your cunt. his hips dropped, lining right up against yours. you couldn’t help but grind up against him, seeking the friction you needed. his actions mirrored yours almost immediately, chasing after the sensation. between your thin panties and his boxers, you could feel everything. it only drove the two of you more wild.

kuroo’s hand slid up your waist before splaying it behind your back, pulling you up so you were closer to him. the closeness between your two bodies was intoxicating, better than any rush you’d ever experienced before. no matter how many times you’ve been together, it always seemed to get better and better.

it was something that simultaneously brought a sense of home and belonging, mixed with an electrifying high that you couldn’t help but chase. there was something so addictive in the way his lips move against yours; in the way his body felt against yours.

“you make me so fucking hard.” kuroo mused against your lips, each of his words swallowed up by your demanding tongue. he could barely get the words out, trying to keep himself from fully drowning in you as his hips rolled against you, further proving just how true that statement was.

kuroo’s hand continued to slide down your body, slipping under the thin, soaked panties you had on. he didn’t even think to bother teasing you anymore this morning, he couldn’t bare to wait any longer. his finger easily slipped into you and the reaction was instantaneous, a gasped moan escaping you at the sudden intrusion. it almost had kuroo groaning more than you.

he started to pump his finger in and out of you, coating his finger in all your slick as faint squelching noises filled the room. it didn’t take him long to slip another one in, curling to hit that deep spongey spot inside of you just right. you couldn’t help but keen, arching your back and pressing yourself more up against him.

“so wet for me.” he spoke against your lips, his deep voice sending vibrations against them, dizzying your mind. he slips his fingers out after scissoring them for a moment, hurriedly sitting up a bit to bring them to his mouth to get a taste. the moment it hit his tastebuds, a switch was flipped. he didn’t even bother holding back his sound of approval as he came back down for a chaste kiss. “my sweet girl.”

a chill ran through your body as kuroo gently takes your oversized shirt off, latching his lips on your now bare skin. kissing his way down, he takes his time, savoring every part of you that he can. it was endearing, but it wasn’t enough.

“tets-“ you whine out, reaching for his hair to tug him back up to you. it didn’t need to be light out for you to see the smirk on his face. it was an energy that always made itself known. “don’t tease me.”

“no?” the tip of his nose touches yours before he slowly moves it side to side. each nerve heightened in your body as he nuzzled it against yours. he barely pulled apart so he could have a better view to your eyes. “tell me what you want then.”

“you know what i want, dummy. you’re the one that woke me up for this.” you pout, no ounce of bitterness reaching your voice. in truth, you could never get enough of this. you could never turn him away from you, and he could never do the same to you.

“so cruel to me. hasnt anyone ever taught you some manners?” he reached down to slide your panties off your legs.

“i guess i’ve never learned my lesson.” you huff, trying to tear his boxers off. your hand brushes over his clothed cock, forcing a hiss out of kuroo. part of him wanted to punish you a little for being so defiant, but it turned him on too much. punishing you wouldn’t scratch the itch he had right now. no, not when he craved you far more than he craved his release. he needed to be close to you — feel you deliciously tighten against him as he drives you to your peak, moaning out his name in a way that made him only want to please you even more.

kuroo let out an elongated groan as you slip his boxers off to wrap your hand around his aching cock. it felt so hot and heavy, ready for any sort of attention. it almost hurt to not go down on him, feeling him fill up your throat just the way you like it. but it was too late for that, you needed him just as badly as he needed you.

“tetsu please,” you whine as you tease the both of you by rubbing the tip of his cock over your wet folds, collecting as much slick as he can before you can even think to slide it in. kuroos hips stutter, feeling lightheaded from just the simple movement. he let you take control for a moment, getting lost in sensation, your warmth beckoning for him to slide in and find his home in you.

“fuck. don’t do that.” he hissed out, the words fighting it’s way through his clenched jaw. he lightly grabbed the hand that was wrapped around him and put it down on the bed beside your head; lacing his fingers through your own. the morning light started to shine through a little more, causing the ring on his finger to sparkle as the light reflected off of it. a reminder to the world that he was yours and only yours. he dipped his head down to give you a loving kiss, fueled by the burning desire he has always held for you — always resting just below the surface just ready to burst. “so beautiful.”

with that, he slid into you in a swift motion. kuroo let out a low sigh once he was fully sheathed, your cunt always wrapped around him perfectly. as always, the stretch was overwhelming. your mouth opened in a silent whimper. kuroo was no better off, his hips stilling into place, forcing himself to ground himself before he came too quickly. the hand that was holding yours tightened, pushing it further down into the mattress.

“more.” you choke out, clutching his hand right back. everything felt like it was on fire and the only thing to soothe it was for him to move. “please.”

as soon as the words left your lips, his instincts took over; rolling his hips against yours as he drove into you. each thrust was harder, deeper than the last. a crescendo of a sinful melody that had your mind reeling, and he wasn’t much better off.

“you’re so tight— s’tight.” he repeated, his forehead resting against your shoulder as he began to pound into you. his lips flew all over your body, needing to feel every piece of you. “god, you always take me so well, angel. always make me feel so, so good.”

“tetsu- fuck,” you moan out, the force of kuroos thrusts pushing you deeper in the mattress, his hand holding yours firmly in place. words further escape you as your head is filled with the pleasure only he can give you. it didn’t matter anyway, not with the way kuroo started insistently kissing you, greedily swallowing all your moans.

his lips didn’t leave yours as he slowly increased his pace, each drag of his cock along your warm walls had you squeezing more and more against him. the bed frame started to slam against the wall with each strong, languid stroke he gave you. your eyes roll to the back of your head with one hand still firmly latched to his and the other woven into the sheets, hoping for one of them to ground you. but it was no use, kuroo’s love had you floating above the clouds in a world of heaven.

“you feel so good f’me.” he purrs in your ear. the slow, yet deep thrusts hitting the very spot that made you see stars behind your eyes. he’d never get tired at seeing what he did to you, how much pleasure he could bring you with just a few strokes of his hips. it drove him closer to his release. but he wouldn’t finish until you did.

“m’close tetsu-“ you whine, tossing your head back. kuroo instantly leaned his head down, sucking lasting marks on your neck. “please-“

the coil within you was threatening to snap, but you knew that even once it finally did, he’d be nowhere close to being done with you — not when he was like this.

“i love you s’much. love this pussy, s’mine.” kuroo babbled, getting lost in how much your cunt clenched around his length every time he spoke. it only made him want to talk more, your cunt trying it’s best to milk him for everything he was worth. “gonna – oh my god – gonna cum in you, you gonna let me pretty girl?”

need dripped in his voice as desperation flooded all his veins, flowing right to his heart as he swore it only beat for you. he had to cum in you, fill you up so you were impossibly full of him. his cock throbbed in you each time his tip kissed the spot that drove you wild. he loved to see you cry out his name and he’d chase that high any chance he could.

his fingers reach down to your neglected nub, rubbing gentle circles against it. with the way he was pounding into you paired with his soft touch, had you tossing your head back, tightening up around him as you reach your high. kuroo let out a choked moan, trying to keep thrusting into you as you held him so tightly he almost had to stop.

“so pretty-“ he breathed, his thrusts getting sloppy as he felt his core start to tighten. “fuck— m’cumming, cumming all f’you —.” he breathed out right before he pushed his hips all the way against you, cumming as deep as he possibly could. breathing heavily by your ear as he takes a moment to try and collect himself.

but he wasn’t done, you could feel him pulsing and throbbing in you. the look in his eyes grew more desperate. the hand that still held onto yours was brought up to his mouth, planting a soft kiss on it before his hands latched onto your hips. his fingers dug into them before flipping you both over so you’re on top of him while he’s still fully sheathed in you.

“please-“ he almost whimpered, rubbing soothing circles against your hips, his eyes blown wide in a devastating mix between love and lust as he looked up at you. “one more time, baby. cant get enough of you.”

you start moving your hips in small circles, almost in shock at how needy your husband was getting. the overstimulation bit at him but all he could do was embrace it. his cock was still so hard and he still had so much more cum to give you. his fingers tightened their hold before you pulled them off of you.

“tetsu.” you coo, putting his hands on your breasts as you slowly pick up your tempo. “let me take care of you then.”

before he had a chance to speak, you started bouncing up and down on his cock. any words he even thought about saying left him, turning into groans that steadily left his lips. his hands tightened their hold against your tits. his head fell against the pillow, mouth hanging open as you quickly drove him through his overstimulation and towards his next orgasm

“s-shit“ his voice cracked as his hands flew down to your hips, digging into them as he helped guide your movements. “slow down-“

you raise an eyebrow at him as you slow your pace, teasingly sliding back and forth which always drove him wild. his eyes flew open and met yours, desperation coating his normally bright hazel eyes.

“please.” he breathed out, trying to move your hips up and down. even though he was plenty strong to be able to lift you up, he was too fucked out to push for it. his hips humped against yours. his words starting to slur together as a blissful haze took up his mind. “need t’cum.”

“of course, love.” you say sweetly before fucking him deliciously. each rise and fall of your hips drew out more and more groans from him. it was his weakness when you called him love, it set all of his senses on fire. to be loved and cherished by you was the greatest pleasure he’d ever experience in his life.

kuroo sat up to meet your hips better, thrusting up into you madly trying to chase both of your highs. he quickly slapped your ass before his arms wrapped around you, pulling your body as close to his as he possibly could. everything felt right in the world when he had you like this, the closest the two of you could ever possibly be.

at this point, kuroo could only babble how much he loved you, how good you felt around him. he was getting so lost in his pleasure that when you came around him, he instantly followed as you milked him for everything he was worth. his groans turned into small moans, mixing around with yours to create a beautiful symphony. one that he’d love to play over and over in his mind for the rest of his life.

kuroo was spent as his head hit the pillow, his half lidded eyes gazing up at you in all of your glory. he’ll never get tired of asking himself how he got so lucky. his arm snaked its way around you, pulling you down so you were laying on top of him.

“thank you angel.” he rasped out, rubbing soothing circles against your back. your hearts were beating out of your chests as if they were trying to fight tooth and nail to reach each other. kuroo nuzzles his face into your neck, inhaling before pressing delicate kisses along it. “you’re so good to me.”

“anything for you, my love.” you prop yourself up so you can see him better. some of the sweaty strands of hair stuck to his blissed out face. you slowly push them back before pressing a kiss on his forehead. “you always treat me so well.”

kuroo gave you a dopey grin, the muscles in his face too fucked out to give you a proper smirk.

“sleep?” he asked, hugging you closer against him. he wanted your two souls to fuse together as your bodies had. every part of him touching every part of you.

“shouldn’t we clean up?” you ask. normally the two of you would get out of bed and hop in the shower before starting the rest of your day.

“sleep.” he confirms, pressing soft kisses along your shoulders. “we can clean up when we get up.”

there was no way he was leaving your side all day as he wove his legs around yours, locking you in place. nothing in this world compared to his time spent with you, no matter how early in the day it was. he let out a slow laugh.

“i cant believe you haven’t caught on yet.” he mused, his lips resting against your bare shoulder blade.

“caught onto what?” you ask, your brain still too fucked out this early in the morning to follow what he was saying.

“happy anniversary darling.”

[barcaluvv]

𝐊 𝐄 𝐘 ʰᵉᶜᵗᵒʳ ᶠᵒʳᵗ ˣ ʳᵉᵃᵈᵉʳ !! ʳᵉᵠᵘᵉˢᵗᵉᵈ :)

Your whole life your family tries to match you with someone, otherwise it would be friendly families or sometimes even strangers. You were tired of getting ready every time, and you had enough more of arranging. But sigh, another week another family to meet, leaving the house, you think to yourself, what kind of unfortunate guy will he be now, minutes later a black Mercedes-Benz pulled up in your back yard, he was beeping like crazy, I already know he's an impatient little sh!t right there but after seeing the car you understood exactly why they picked him to be your next failed stage.

in the back seat were his parents, I could hear his mother telling him "open the door for her you fool" several times but he just kept his feet on the pedal, smelling his own narcissistic perfume that surprisingly seemed too good. On the way to the restaurant, we sat in silence, you could just see hector looking at you in the rearview mirror, smirking his head off. When you arrived at the restaurant, you couldn't stand it, and with each point he insulted you in a slighty rich-nice way like every other full of money guy. We will leave you now alone, his father told him now, waving at him. When they got out, he immediately relaxed and took off his tie, feeling a relief. So tell me who made u do this, i asked him openly.

"I trusted my gut" said Hector. For exactly what? you asked with a distance on your face. I thought there would be some nice piece, said the curly head with a immense smirk on his face, but now I see it was telling me the wrong thing. Oh shut up, youre not all that. he rolled his eyes at your sentence, "would this change your mind? hmm?" said Hector i assume that's his name.

He brang up a bag, not only was it too much even the bag was shining through. "You can't buy me with all of this but thanks i appreciate the effort lil buddy". "Are you that hard to get?" your answer to that question was just .gulp. just a little gulp, like a needle down your troath.

when we went home, at the very exit we saw that someone stole his car, oh my god, he went crazy. We called the police, but they just told us to find a hotel on the spur of the moment.

Good now we have to walk to the hotel, you yelled at him. "Oh shut up you're the bad luck here". That sentence hurted you inside and now you thought with yourself.

His hair is disgusting - 𝐿𝑖𝑎𝑟

I hate the way it curls - 𝑂𝒉 𝑛𝑜 𝑖 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡.

The curves on his shoulders, his lips

theyre sickening - 𝑆𝑢𝑐𝒉 𝑎 𝑑𝑒𝑛𝑖𝑎𝑙.

His hands are so uninviting - 𝑡𝑎𝑘𝑒 𝑦𝑜𝑢𝑟 𝑒𝑦𝑒𝑠 𝑜𝑓𝑓 𝑜𝑓 𝑡𝒉𝒆𝒎 𝑡𝒉𝑒𝑛.

I hate him - 𝑌𝑜𝑢 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 𝑐𝑟𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝒉𝒊𝒎.

We had luck that after 20 minutes of walking we finally found a cheap hotel 3 blocks away of the restaurant we went.

"Nice now we have to stay in this cheap place, and the worst part of it that you're gonna be next to me." If you don't like it then buy 2 rooms! You can literally buy this whole place but your narcissistic self cannot help?.

"Maybe i dont want you in another room okay." He seemed pretty serious so you just gave up.

The room only has one bed, and a small chair next to it, it's so old that you can barefoot break it.

I'm sleeping on the sofa you said, you take the bed then.

"Cmon here, I'm not gonna let you sleep there, then afterwards pay for your medication, here its way too cold, just dont come near me" said Hector. You both looked at the ceiling until you felt asleep, I mean at least one of you needed. Even though you were in a deep sleep, you could feel his warm breath surrounding your whole collarbone.

That night you had a nightmare, you screamed, calling out his name, all shaking. Of course you woke him up too, but unexpectedly he approached your body, hugging you " Shh!! It's okay Hermosa, I'm here dont you worry youre safe with me love" you felt your body calming a valuable piece of your mind. "See its not that scary, you got me" said Hector holding your hand aggressively. All i thought about was his little whispers, his effortlessly tiny fingertips going through my hair i felt everything. Pooking your blushy cheeks, letting out "you're not that bad as i thought you were, and now if you allow me" he kissed you.

5 year's after this, you didn't have to look for a boyfriend in anyone anymore, because you found a husband in him. after this night, everything changed and this was the story of how me and your amazing mother met, said Hector.

[caycaysdiamond]

Puff Puff Pass ~ Smoking HCs

No request just like writing to not be stressed.

All characters/dorms | what they smoke and how they act around others who do Just for fun. Smoking is bad blah blah. Mentions of weed, hookah, cigarettes, vape. Cursing.

Heartslabyul ~

Riddle Rosehearts

No.

Don't even try it around him.

Trey Clover

Trey occasionally smokes weed with Cater but that's it.

Great at rolling 🙏🏽

Don't even THINK about smoking cigarettes around him because he's immediately rating for hours about how bad it is for your teeth.

Has a PowerPoint and everything.

Cater Diamond

Cater def smokes weed AND vapes

His vapes aren’t the sweet ones either, it’s like mint, spearmint and all those variants

Pulled his vape out around Riddle one day and almost lost his life

Riddle was like what was that cloud and Cater was like lmao you’re seeing things silly~

Anyways when it comes to weed, he smokes pretty regularly. Usually alone too, it’s a relaxing thing for him.

Can roll however will make Trey do it for him regardless if Trey smoking with him or not

Prefers to smoke from a bong or pipe and has a pretty collection

Doesn’t really fuck with edibles too heavily

Has gone to hookah places with Kalim and Lilia, not often but occasionally tags along with the two

Ace Trappola

Ace will occasionally smoke weed and that’s it

HE CANNOT ROLL DO NOT LET HIM FOOL YOU!!!!!

Also doesn’t like bongs he’s lost on his own fr

Cigarettes , vape etc is GROSS to him and he will shame you for doing it

“EW IS THAT A VAPE!?!!” Bro shut up—

Ace doesn’t smoke alone however says it’s like drinking alone and that’s lame

His favorite people to smoke with is Epel because he’s “10 times funnier high” according to Ace and Cater because it’s a rare to see his upperclassman not faking how he’s feeling

More often than not Ace pops edibles because it’s just easier than smoking and no smell since he shares a room with 3 others.

Has tried to make his own but it’s either not strong at all or wayyy too strong

Deuce Spade

Deuce has definitely tried smoking (weed) at parties but he’s really not for it

It’s not something he’ll go out of the way to do yk, it’s a social thing for him and only occasionally

He won’t try anything other than weed !! He will not hit your vape or your cig, weirdo

He also doesn’t really fuck with edibles because he feels like the high is way too long and it makes him a bit anxious that someone might catch him like that (he’s so real for this)

He will smoke with Ace when no one wants to / is around

Savanaclaw ~

Leona Kingscholar

Leona has smoked weed before HOWEVER I don’t think he does it very recreationally

He doesn’t smoke with others, no one even knows

It’s more of a thing to help him relax occasionally when he’s stressed

Ruggie rolls for him because what does he look like doing that for himself????

Has a pipe too but like just prefers to make Ruggie roll for him yk ???

Nothing else smoking wise touches his lips, he really cares about his health in that way

Ruggie Bucchi

Dealer #1 of NRC (money is money and rich kids don’t know the real prices of anything)

Makes edibles and sells them with Floyd

Ruggie has tried everything, okay ? Personally doesn’t like cigarettes and usually is high from smoking.

Can roll, godbless.

Does not care if it’s rolled or from bongs/pipes—weed is weed!

Smokes both alone and with others fairly equally

He’s really just vibing tbh

He’s a lot of people’s favorite person to get high with because he’s the dealer (duh) and because he’s just fun in general to smoke with. Ruggie just has amazing vibes love him fr

Jack Howl

Another big fat no

He cares about his health way to much

He’s a star athlete like cmon

He won’t heavy lecture others on why they shouldn’t but he will be like bro :////

Octavinelle ~

Azul Ashengrotto

Another no, he doesn’t care for it or see the appeal but doesn’t care what others do

He does, however, HATE the smell of weed

However, he does know a good business opportunity when he sees it

He lets Ruggie and Floyd use the lounge kitchen after hours for their edibles and he gets a share of the profits 🫡

Floyd Leech

Dealer #2 of NCR

Floyd smokes weed however usually he’s eating his own edibles !

Usually if he’s smoking it’s a bong or pipe because bro cannot roll lmaooo

Bro is a heavy vape user however,,,like it’s bad

Floyd hits in class and everyone around is like !??!?!?!? BRO???

RIGHT IN FRONT OF TRIEN???

Crowley has definitely had an assembly about not vaping in class because of him

He definitely has a drawer(s) full of his old cartridges and single use vapes

He loves the sickeningly sweet flavors so much

Definitely turns into the where’s my juul song when he can’t find his (we’re going to get you help fr…)

Nooot big on cigarettes or hookah however but not like that matters when he vapes too damn much

Jade Leech

Not a smoker, doesn’t care

He loves, however, observing people high.

Jade does shrooms that’s enough. Do not drink his “special blends” of teas

Scarabia ~

Kalim Al Asim

Y’all are gonna hate me for this take but they hated Jesus because he told the truth!1!1!1

Kalim is one of the biggest smokers at NCR and I’m NAWT debating it.

The only thing he doesn’t do is vape but weed?? hookah?? cigarettes?? Yes.

9 times out of 10 Kalim is high and no one realizes it

“That’s just how Kalim is.”

People have staged an intervention for Floyd and his smoking and he’s always is like Kalim is really the one who needs this and no one believes him it’s so damn funny

Anyways Kalim has an extensive bong and pipe collection, often he buys some for Cater <3

He kinda sucks at rolling a blunt tbh but he’s trying :)

Has hookah dates with Lilia <3

Loves social smoking

Just enjoys in general

He’s rich he doesn’t have to think about is health 🥱 jk but

I think Kalim started smoking as stress relief, bro has had multiple death threats over the years that’s terrifying

Jamil Viper

Jamil cannot stand any type of smoking and it’s mostly because Kalim does it

Certified hater

If anyone needs to smoke weed it’s this bitch

Pomfiore ~

Vil Schonheit

Okay, another one people may not see the vision of but these are MY hcs damn it !!!

We know that Vil is theeee health guru so like no one can really see him being a smoker of like…anything

No one would believe it either

However, Vil does smoke, it’s rare but it happens

He smokes the same cigarettes as his parents

It’s a stress thing for him. It builds up and like the only thing that helps him is sitting in front of his vanity and smoking like his mother did

Or sitting in front of his window and smoking like his father does

The smell brings him to home and to somewhat simpler times

He has one of those old fancy cigarette holders

A pack last him a while

Vil had smoked around Rook and doesn’t mind him being around when he does

Rook Hunt

Another non smoker

How can he hunt if is prey could smell him

He doesn’t care about others doing it as much

Epel Felmier

Another weed smoker and edible eater

Another person who shames vapers 💀

And shames cigarette smokers

Him and Ace are so ANNOOOYING

Definitely eats edibles more than smokes just cause Vil definitely beat his ass after he came back to the dorm reeking of Mary Jane

Epel can roll…ish. Its not pretty by any means but who cares

It’s better than Ace

Erm doesn’t own any bongs/pipes anymore cause Vil found them

Mostly Epel smokes at parties/hangouts and like desperately sprays those fancy perfumes to hope Vil doesn’t notice (he does)

When intoxicated in general Epel is funny to be around (according to Ace)

Ignihyde ~

Idia Shroud

Iiiii really can’t imagine Idia doing anything ???

Like there’s no particular reason either, I just can’t imagine that loser (affectionate) smoking ANYTHING

caffeine addiction via energy drinks is ENOUGH me thinks

Ortho Shroud

Um…I don’t think…

I don’t think mechanical life forms can smoke 🤓☝🏽

However if he was able, I think he would have smoked weed before bc of Ace and Epel

Diasomnia ~

Malleus Draconia

I don’t see him smoking anything tbh ???

Maybe I’m lame 🧍🏽

Lilia Vanrouge

Yes.

Yes everything.

He’s lived for years so I can see him trying just about everything

However I think his favorite thing is hookah!

I’ve already mentioned his hookah dates w/ Kalim (and sometimes Cater)

That’s about the only thing he regularly does tbh

Weed/Vape etc. definitely would just be a more “oh someone offered at a party sooo…”

Though he can roll pretty well!

I gotta be honest now he’s the only person in diasomnia I see as a smoker fr….

This section is gonna be so empty sobs

Silver

Okay maybe I lied literally JUST two bullet points up

I feel like Silver has definitely *tried* things because he’s close with Kalim

I don’t think he necessarily likes to smoke though

Doesn’t mind what other do however, very chill about it

Sebek Zigvolt

Definitely NOT chill about it

Public shaming, LOUD public shaming

ARE YOU VAPING IN CLASS????

IS THAT WEED? THATS NOT ALLOW-

It’s kinda funny

Everyone knows to steer clear of him when smoking anything <333

[seireiteihellbutterfly]

The Last Breath

Warnings : dead dove do not eat, descriptions of drowning, reader is suicidal, depression. No death, light at the end of the tunnel

Not proofread. Experimenting.

Pairing : Geto x reader, Nanami mentioned indirectly.

It felt like everyone was moving on except you. Like you were frozen in time, frozen, like a dragonfly in the amber of his eyes.

You hadn't said anything as he explained gently, always gently, because he was never an unkind man, that he had fallen out of love with you. How compassionately he spoke to you, like he had still cared, saying he would look out for you, that you would be a part of his life no matter what.

And all you could do is sit there, staring at him, looking at the face you loved so dearly, still loved, in fact, and feeling your whole being shatter and collapse when you realized he wasn't looking at you the same way. There was gentleness there, born from the familiarity of being together. But the spark was gone.

What else could you do but ask why. Beg him not to leave, because honestly, what would you do without him? All these years together, you learning how he takes his coffee in the morning, tying his tie before he left for work, leaning against him as you watched TV together in the evenings. He has no answer. He loves you but is not in love with you.

He says he'll move out, you're the one who found this place after all, so many years ago when you had been looking for a place to live together. And just like that he erased himself from your life. The bed was so cold and empty. Sometimes you'd desperately grab his pillow, smell deeply, remnants of his cologne, his shampoo vaguely lingering on the fabric. What were you supposed to do? Lost, like an extra puzzle piece that didn't fit anywhere.

As he moved on, you pretended, drawing a veil over yourself, fooling everyone. Then one day he announced he's getting married.

Married.

He had found happiness. And you… Were wasting away over him, suffocating, drowning, dying, like someone had opened you up and pulled out your organs one by one.

You're not sure how you ended up at the bridge. But looking down into the cold, chilly depths, you felt nothing. In this world, where you belonged to nobody, what else was left to do? You were the problem. Different, misfit, outcast, undesirable, unwanted, rejected.

There's relief when you jump and feel nothing under your feet. Your body hits the water, and you offer no struggle, no resistance. They said most people feel regret after they jump but you didn't. There was nothing left for you. You plunge, deeper and deeper, the freezing water entering your nostrils, filling your lungs and it was searing agony but at the same time you knew it would end soon.

All you remember is the blond of his hair, the richness of his laugh, and feel yourself losing consciousness. Not a bad way to go. Comfortably numb, you sink into oblivion, feeling more peaceful than you'd ever been these last few years. The chill was a part of you now, almost welcoming, the closest thing to a lover's embrace you'd experienced in a while.

“Holy shit. No. Cmon. No. Don't die.”

Was there someone under the water with you?

“I've got you. Oh fuck please no.”

Something was wrong. The atmosphere was getting warmer instead of colder. You were heading for darkness and somehow there was light now. Had it happened? Was this the light everyone spoke about?

You're laid out on something firm and wet. Hands press down rigorously on your chest. You feel frantic lips on yours, blowing air back into your waterlogged lungs.

“Breathe damn it. No you can't die.”

The male voice sounded vaguely familiar but you hadn't heard it in years and struggle to place it. More rapid thrusts on your chest followed by the lips again and this time, as though a magnetic force had awakened in you, your soul retracts back into the body, eyes flying open as you retch and cough, water making it's way from your body to the outside.

A sigh of relief, and you hear someone collapse into a heap on next to you, gripping your body and rolling you to the side to help you vomit.

Weakly, you suck in a breath, wondering how on earth you were alive then finally catch a glimpse at your rescuer’s face.

You couldn't believe what you were seeing at first. Was it an illusion? Maybe you really were dead. Otherwise how could this be the reality?

“Geto?” you manage to rasp.

He looks at you, the panic on his face lessening slightly.

“Yeah. What the fuck were you trying to do?”

[quodekash]

fifteen minutes left of the episode. how long will it take me to watch 15 minutes? let's find out

shake of friendshipppp

VERY different to the shake of PURE sexual tension we got from guynava in ep5

this one is FRIENDSHIP

and I LOVE FRIENDSHIP

(altho I do also love sexual tension)

you can't stop staring at him

well frick

either he's really clumsy, or that absolutely SHOULD be a foul and yellow team SUCKS

YES

FRIENDSHIP

PLATONIC HAPPINESS COMING RIGHT UP

THEY DID THE DUDEBRO HANDCLAP BACK PAT THING

I PERSONALLY LOVE THIS

the commentator is so valid and so is the guy recording him lmao

I am both of them

(but not in the context of sport, I never know what's going on in sport)

BSHDBFHJVSADVBG

AGAIN????

IM LOSING IT

THIS IS LIKE EXACTLY THE SAME AS LAST EPISODE

how funny would it be if he misses

LMAO

sorry I care so little about sport that this is downright hilarious to me

he MISSED

ITS SO FUNNY

I love him and hes gonna be so disappointed in himself for ages and stuff. buT LIKE. HE MISSED. I MEAN CMON YOU GOTTA ADMIT ITS FUNNY

HERE COMES THE SCENE HERE COMES THE SCENE HERE COMES THE SCENE GHEKRBGJREBAAAAAAAA

(here comes the scene, doo-doo-do-do)

PFFFFT

GEU4KJRWLGNOREL

HES RIGHT YOU KNOW

oH MY-

I SAID THE SAME THING

AGES AGO I SAID THE SAME THING

AND IT REMINDS ME OF SOUNDWIN

AND THEY FULLY JUST PULLED THE SOUNDWIN LINE RIGHT THERE

CMON MAN IM GONNA LOSE MY MIND EVEN MORE THAN IVE ALREADY LOST IT

BUT YEAH

BASICALLY IM AWESOME

I love him

also I love how short auto is

it makes me feel represented

(even though im pretty sure he's still taller than me. bUT LIKE BY 2 CENTIMETRES I MEAN COME ON)

KICKING MY FEET SHOUTING SCREAMING

THISSCENETHISSCENETHISSCENEAAAAAGOIEGOPIJBE4RIOGJB4OEIB

here it is. prepare for me to explode bc when soundwin did this it killed me and I know its gonna do the same thing when they do it

EIOJGHVNOWIEPLSJDGVNIOERJLDSKGHVNOEIDS

THEIR SMILESSSSSS

GJIKERBGJREB IM SOBBING

HE FOOLED HIM A G A I N

KANG YOU IDIOT I LOVE YOU

bitches be stimming so hard rn

(its me. im bitches)

THEY MEAN SO MUCH TO ME

IM SO TOTALLY NORMAL ABOUT THEM

IM LOSING IT

AAAAAAAAYUTKFUGUYUIGYDTUYE56RDTYCGUHIBHYTRF87YGUIHTTFUYGTGYIFUYIGUYHVIUHJGIUGFTYUR4E56URFTYUKVG

A

AA

idk bout you, but I happen to be an avid lover of all things cheesy and corny, so im having a SPECTACULAR time rn

PLS I LOVE HIM

several days later????

ITS STILL GOING??????

oml I ran out of images. again. but there's like one minute left so you're just gonna have to imagine the screenshots

[grandma in the car]

SHES BACK!!!

[kang's shoes]

oml kang's platforms I love them

[grandma saying 'and I also have a new caretaker']

ah frick it better not be who I think it is

[saifah's evil little grin]

YUP

AH FRICK

MR THIEF ROBBERY MAN IS HERE TO ROB SOME RICH PEOPLE AND GET ARRESTED AND MAYBE SHOOT KANG'S DAD

I mean fair enough. but also cmon man

[grandma saying 'he'll be taking care of me at this house from now on']

come on man

now saifah's gonna be annoying when sailom and kang want to be gay and in love

cos im guessing saifah and grandma aren't leaving the house much

I guess kangsailom will have to go to sailom's house or just not be in the mansion or smth

its so convenient having a mansion thooooo

come on saifah, youre ruining all the gay little plans I had made up in my head

YEEEE SO MUCH HAPPY FLUFFY COMFORT COMING OUR WAY NEXT WEEK IM SO EXCITED

as for today: comfort episode, unlocked

and for those who were curious, it took me 45 minutes to watch the last 15 minutes of this episode

its 2:30am. the episode came out 3 hours ago. what the hell is wrong with me.

[ginger-goblin]

Spellbound | Eddie Munson

[also on wattpad @TheHotWeasley]

Track Three: What Was and What Should Never Be

Description: Eddie takes his music soulmate to the Hawkins Music Store, where they look at tapes and flirt with each other. When he invites Melanie back to his trailer, how will she respond?

Warnings: Strong Language

"𝕬𝖓𝖉 𝖎𝖋 𝖞𝖔𝖚 𝖘𝖆𝖞 𝖙𝖔 𝖒𝖊 𝖙𝖔𝖒𝖔𝖗𝖗𝖔𝖜

𝕺𝖍 𝖜𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖋𝖚𝖓 𝖎𝖙 𝖆𝖑𝖑 𝖜𝖔𝖚𝖑𝖉 𝖇𝖊

𝕿𝖍𝖊𝖓 𝖜𝖍𝖆𝖙'𝖘 𝖙𝖔 𝖘𝖙𝖔𝖕 𝖚𝖘, 𝖕𝖗𝖊𝖙𝖙𝖞 𝖇𝖆𝖇𝖞

𝕭𝖚𝖙 𝖜𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖎𝖘 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖜𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝖘𝖍𝖔𝖚𝖑𝖉 𝖓𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝖇𝖊." - 𝖂𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝕴𝖘 𝖆𝖓𝖉 𝖂𝖍𝖆𝖙 𝕾𝖍𝖔𝖚𝖑𝖉 𝕹𝖊𝖛𝖊𝖗 𝕭𝖊, 𝕷𝖊𝖉 𝖅𝖊𝖕𝖕𝖊𝖑𝖎𝖓

It's an incredibly special and intoxicating feeling; sharing a passion with someone. Music has been such a large part of my life, but I have loved it alone. Now, in front of me, was someone to share this passion with. It simultaneously delighted and frightened me.

Eddie ran his fingers through the dusty records, he had immediately crossed over to the rock section, and was digging for some Dio album he had been mumbling about. The music store was incredibly quaint, it was owned by a middle aged man who was sitting playing something I didn't recognize on an old acoustic guitar. The man's strums filled the otherwise quiet shop. I was a bit surprised that Eddie took me here, considering how calm it was. I took a deep breath and smelled the familiar scents of dust, musk, and leather. Incense was burning by the cash register. I felt complete, somehow. I could see myself coming here very often.

"Awesome, right?" Eddie smiled, rushing up next to me.

"This place is incredible!" I smiled back. I was starting to warm up to Eddie. That's what scared me the most.

"I knew you'd like it. It totally has your loner shtick written all over it." Eddie smirked.

"Could you please not be an asshole, for like, five seconds? I was really enjoying the ambience."

"I only speak the truth, Miss Melanie."

"Ugh, that's the worst one yet." I groaned.

"Oh, but I've got so much more!"

I gasped. As I was flipping through the rock tapes, I found an absolute gem...

"Holy shit." I beamed. I lifted the tape to show Eddie as my heart pounded, praying he knew the artist.

"Quiet Riot? Really?" Eddie chuckled. My heart sank in confusion.

"Hey, they put metal on the top of the charts! You can't beat that, can you?"

"Sure, but they've only got the one good album." Eddie muttered as he fumbled through the stack I was admiring, "You need something just as... striking as you are- GOT IT!"

Before I could even react to what he had just said, Eddie waved the tape in my face, as I tried to push him away, he jumped up and down.

"THIS. Is Holy Diver. It's..." Eddie sighed, trying to find the words, "It's a masterpiece. I even made my fucking vest out of a Dio T-Shirt, OK? I'm a total geek for this band."

"I can tell." I chuckled. My face hurt from smiling so much, and I rubbed my cheeks. I sure wasn't used to this. As sad as it is, I really don't find myself smiling over much anymore. And here this wonderful boy was, making me giggle like an absolute fool.

"I'm buying this for you. Immediately. SHOPKEEP!" Eddie turned and yelped for the kind man, who didn't seem to bothered by Eddie. This must be a regular occurrence. The silly metalhead hopped over a few crates towards the man, then turned to look at me, as if he expected me to follow right behind.

"Cmon! Rich doesn't bite, do 'ya Rich?" Eddie joked, patting Rich's shoulder.

"Only if you put your hands on me again, Munson." Rich sighed, then smirked to show he wasn't too serious.

"Got it, sir..." Eddie stammered.

"Great choice as always, son." Rich praised. I smiled. Small towns are truly adorable.

"Actually, I'm introducing this lovely lady to our beloved Dio. She was digging through Quiet Riot and I figured she needed some help-"

I slapped his arm angrily. Rich laughed as I continued to stare into Eddie, who merely responded by sticking his tongue out.

"You guys sure are cute. Reminds me of me and my sweetheart back in the day, always teasing each other."

"Oh, no, we're not together or anything, I actually just met him today." I explained with a flushed face.

Rich began to wheeze in laughter, "You two?" He continued to cackle. Eddie and I looked at each other, then back to a crying/laughing Rich.

"Oh... you guys are funny."

"Nah, Rich, she's serious. She hasn't fallen for my charm just yet." Eddie smirked, and placed his elbows on the counter. I crossed my arms and huffed. Why is it that when any guy or girl go somewhere together it's always presumed that they're together?

"Well, I haven't seen much of that charm you're talking about." I said, tongue in my cheek.

Rich let out an even bigger chortle, and pointed at Eddie,

"She's got you there! Aha!!"

Rich finished ringing Eddie up, and as I headed for the door, Eddie stopped me.

"Wait! I didn't even show you the guitars in the back!" Eddie began to jog towards a narrow looking hallway that I totally missed, and I followed behind him, annoyed. I'm not the best jogger in the world.

"Eddie, can't we just- Woah."

I was stopped in my tracks by an entire room of guitars displayed on the wall. My mouth hung open as I stared. Eddie walked up to one that was far above his head, lightly touching the strings with his ringed fingers.

"Still in tune." Eddie smiled, and turned back to me. I smiled back.

"These are crazy, Eddie. There's just... so many."

"I know, right?" Eddie put his hands back in his pockets. I slowly walked up to a gleaming black Fernandes electric guitar, and ran my fingertips along the strings. My heart pounded. I had always wanted to learn to play.

"Well, unfortunately, Rich won't let me mess with his toys, so we can't play them." Eddie said, scratching the back of his shaggy head.

"That's a shame. These really are beautiful."

Eddie took careful steps towards me,

"You know... I do have a really fucking cool one back at my trailer."

I turned to face him. His eyes were darting across the room, until they directly met mine. I felt my heart stop for a moment. I felt myself lingering in them. His eyes were so deep and curious, unlike any boy I had met before.

"Earth to Melanie? Hello?" Eddie waved his hand in my face, and I blinked myself back to reality.

"If you're inviting me back to your empty trailer to get me alone, that's a big no-no." I said, forcefully. I felt my stomach twisting at the thought of all of this being a ploy for stupid sex. My brain was riddled with anxiety.

"Ah, ok. I get it. You just hate me." Eddie said, defeated. He used his fist to pound into his stomach, mimicking being stabbed. I couldn't help but smile at his goofiness.

"I don't hate you. I just met you, remember? I haven't formed a real opinion yet."

This response made Eddie perk up a bit as he messed with his hair.

"Well, now I'm going to have to be a true gentleman, huh?"

I just shook my head in response. If any guy is going to try to romance me, I sure did not think it would be someone like him.

"Melanie." Eddie caught my attention by lightly grabbing my hand. I felt my breath catch in my throat.

"I'm not fucking with you. I don't know how much more obvious I can be, but you..." He bit his thumb, as if hesitating.

"I have never met anyone else like you here. And I want to keep going on stupid outings like this. I want to make you laugh, god damn it!" He lightly pinched my cheek, and I grabbed his hand.

"Eddie..."

"What?" He asked, eyes widening in fear.

"I'll see you tomorrow." I gave him a pained smile, and walked out of the store. In the stupid pit of my romantic heart, I hoped I would hear his sneakers running up behind me.  But, he didn't come after me. I waited five extra seconds, counting down in my head. Five, then four, then three, then two… Then, I turned again, and walked my way back home.

[koulakoukoula2003]

I love ur writing sm especially when u write abt Erwin. Can u do one where basically Erwin is obsessed with the reader and would like do anything to keep her and the reader wants to be like mischievous or whatever and runs away whilst he’s on his trip and when Erwin comes back he sees that she’s gone but then Levi finds her and brings her to him and Erwin punishes her and fucks the reader like ROUGH with pain and pleasure.(With spitting kink, clit slapping, riding his face, and more)

OH MA GAWD, ANON I've been waiting for this ask my entire life

Ahem ahem

El diablo (Yandere!MafiaBoss!Erwin x Reader)

Pairing: Erwin x Reader, Erwin x You, Erwin x Y/n, Erwin x OC

Genre: Mafia!AU, Yandere!MafiaBoss!Erwin, Smut, Porn with a pinch of Plot

Trigger Warnings: ROUGH SMUT 👏👏, spanking, punishment, pain kink and oral (f receiving, riding Erwin's face) as per requested, spitting kink, clit slapping, vaginal sex, fingering, overstimulation, orgasm denial (yes I went with both lmao), size kink, catoptrophilia, daddy kink, breath play, choking, slightly dubcon BUT CMON THE READER IS JUST BEING DIFFICULT, mention of human and drug trafficking. Daddy Erwin is a lil mean, blacking out, creampie, Yandere behaviour, possessive smut, some parts are unedited lol

Tagging: @peachysunrize (<- I just realised that you've written some of the best smut out there, so, thank you for your service) @syrma-sensei @antoxsmith @macyomoiji @hopeless-daydream3r @shrekisshrimpthesimp (<- I heard you wanna get railed by a certain commander daddy, so I thought I'd deliver 🤣) @klinofil um who else? I've probably forgotten some ppl, pls lemme know in the comments if I have

A/N: sorry I haven't posted anything in sooooo long 😭 I was supposed to post this yesterday but life happened 💀 pls enjoy, and stay horny, I will open my inbox soon🥰🥰🥰

You knew they'd find you. Running away was stupid, but what else were you supposed to do? You knew Erwin was rich. You knew he had a company and you had felt suspicious about it because nobody ever knew what it was that his company produced, and whenever you'd ask he'd dodge your question with something else.

Erwin was smart. He was a mastermind and he could fool everyone. He had managed to fool you for months. You've been together for months. You were just a college student when he laid eyes on you and he knew he had to have you. He paid all your student fees and you didn't even know who he was.

But when you met, he was so gentle. He was kind, and he had manners. He could treat you like no other man your age could. Surely, he was a tad bit older, but everything else about him was perfect. His looks, his wallet, his apartment that you both shared.

No clear feelings had been exchanged. He used you, and in return you got to sleep on his bed and spend his money on pretty dresses. Everything was fine so far.

Then one day you come across some paperwork scattered on his desk, in his office at the top of the highest skyscraper that he owned, and then you realised exactly what kind of man he was. He was the mediator of all heroine routes in the country and your heart clenched beneath your chest when you realised you had to leave. You had to run and get out of here. He hadn't told you about this, who knows what more lied in the dark?

So you ran. You packed a suitcase whilst he was working and you escaped when no one's eyes were on you. It was so naïve of you to think he'd let you go just like that. You had figured out something about his renowned company that if you let it out, you'd ruin everything.

So, it was no surprise when the cool steel of a gun brushed the small of your back and you gasped. Your body shook in terror. You were waiting for the train at the station to take you far from here, but that was no longer an option.

You peeked behind you — it was Levi. Erwin's trusted dog. The one man army that would follow Erwin everywhere. Erwin was untouchable by all enemies because of this man. Of course he had sent him to find you. They were going to kill you, weren't they?

Your hands began to shake and your eyes widened. They were going to kill you. You knew things you shouldn't.

"I won't tell anybody anything, Levi please, I beg of you, just let me go-"

"That's not why he sent me to find you," Levi cut you.

His hand found your shoulder from behind, squeezing down hard enough to hurt. You winced and gritted your teeth trying not to make any more sounds of discomfort. There were people around you. Even if you made a scene and began shouting — even if you escaped, they'd find you. there was no escape. Erwin had connections everywhere.

"Alright," You fisted your fingers and tried your best to hide the shaky movement.

Levi smirked slightly and withdrew his gun. "Smart girl,"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were almost trembling when Levi dragged you inside the familiar office. Erwin was right there. His strong figure never ceased to bring so much tension inside an otherwise empty room.

"Leave us," Erwin said. He did not take his eyes off the paperwork that spread all over his desk. Levi obeyed and walked out of the room. and you looked at him whilst he left like a scared little prey pleading for him to stay and not leave you alone with this dangerous man.

You didn't know whether to confront this man or just be the obedient little thing that he wanted you to be. There wasn't much that you could say. He had you trapped and there was nowhere to go and do but whatever he wanted you to do.

"Are you scared of me? Now that you know who I am?" He asked and you flinched in place at the sound of his voice, but he did not look at you. Whatever paperwork he had been working on was far more important than you.

"Of course, I am. What did you expect of me? Applause?"

He chuckled. "I hardly deserve anything remotely close to that,"

"Then why do you do it?"

"Where do you think I got all this money from, y/n?" Erwin finally looked at you. "I'm a thirty-seven-year-old billionaire with a company that nobody will buy anything from, how do you think I got here?"

"You got there the wrong way,"

"There is no wrong and right way,"

You scoffed. There was no convincing this man. You knew how stubborn he could be. "Can I at least leave? No worries, I won't tell anybody anything,"

"Leave and go where?" Erwin stood up and approached you. "You have no friends, no house, no apartment, no relatives. no job. You have nowhere to go, y/n," He wrapped his arms around you and tugged you close to him. Bright blue eyes met your own and your breath hitched in your throat. He was right. You had nothing. He was your entire world. "You only have me, y/n, you know why that is?" He leaned close enough till his lips were mere inches away from yours. "Because I am all you need,"

No, you might have had nothing meaningful in your life. He may have been right. You were nothing without him. But you had to stand your ground. A choice that you would regret later.

"I don't need a criminal in my life," you turned around to leave but he grabbed your hand and shoved you back close to him. You parted your lips to speak, but he kissed you instead.

You hated yourself for how easily you melted right in. This man was a criminal. This man was a murderer. He had done things you could hardly imagine, but here you were now, letting him kiss you.

You bit on his lip harshly enough to make him pull back with a grunt. He let go of your arm, and wrapped his strong fingers around your throat, threatening to choke you. You gasped.

"A criminal, huh?" He tightened his grip around your throat but not enough to cut your air. It was certainly enough to intimidate you. "Then I should treat you like one,"

He tossed you on the floor like a ragdoll. You were on your knees and attempting to run off before you knew it, but he caught your face and forced your pretty lips to part with his fingers digging to your chin. He stared down at you with those eyes almost predatory.

You were so pretty right there. You were his pretty little girl. It was foolish of you think he'd ever let you go.

He unbuckled his pants and his cock met your lips. You parted your lips to speak, but he thrust his cock inside your mouth instead, holding your hair out of your face and keeping his cock buried in your throat.

You groaned. Your eyes burned with tears and you grabbed his strong hips that started moving, dragging his cock in and out of your mouth at a fast, urgent pace. You choked. Saliva ran down your chin, making a small puddle on the floor, and he let out those little, barely audible grunts that always drove you insane.

He petted your hair. "That's a good girl," he pulled out of your mouth with a jerk. A little longer and he would've combusted on the spot. But you were gorgeous right there, on your undoubtedly bruised knees and your pretty chest heaving up and down in deep breaths.

He picked you up so easily, settling you stomach down on his shoulder. Your head dangling and you punched his back in a pathetic attempt to make him let you down.

"You bastard-" You let out a cry when he tossed you down on his bed and it was almost pathetic how your legs were already parting for him.

"I suggest you pick your next words carefully, cause I don't think you're trying hard enough to run off," Erwin forced three large fingers in your mouth and you sucked on them so obediently. You wanted this more than you could admit, and he knew that. He knew you so well, better than anyone in the world right now.

He pulled his fingers from your mouth and he pushed down the shorts you were wearing revealing your cotton panties. A stripe of slick was already there and it was enough evidence for him to ravage you. He slipped your panties down your legs, revealing your throbbing clit and your sweet hole that was clenching around the cold air of the room.

But this was still meant to be a punishment. He let down a sharp smack on your throbbing clit and you cried out. Hips lifted up against him in search for more friction as the pain only riled you up even more.

He did it again, and again, scattering strong smacks on your clit till your hips were jumping to his face and your cries echoed in the room. You could've sworn, you were going to cum just from that. Your daddy was cruel. He was cruel in bed, he was cruel in life, he was a criminal and everything made sense, but everything just felt so good right now and you were so fucking close to sweet release-

He pulled his hand back and you sobbed. "What a slutty little girl," he stroked your cheek with one hand, the other ghosting over your convulsing hole. "But since I'm a criminal, your pleasure is the last thing on my mind,"

"Y- You're not! P- Please, daddy, I was wrong, please just let me cum, please, please..."

"I need a proper apology, little girl," He eased a thick long finger inside you, immediately finding your spot, making your legs close around him, and your eyes to shut tight. "I can be denying you orgasms all night, or I can be making you cum all night till you're spent and begging for me to stop, but none would be enough because you were an ungrateful little slut that tried to leave me," he eased another finger inside you, stretching your hole, preparing you for his cock. "So, what will it be, baby girl? Choose your next words wisely,"

" 'm s' sorry, daddy, p- please forgive me..." You sobbed, all pathetic, with beautiful little tears running down your cheeks. "...please, I'll be good, I'll be good..."

The pads of his fingers were pressing against your spot but he wasn't moving them, and it was driving you insane. You needed some friction. You needed something. You tried moving your hips, but he pinned your body back down on the bed with his other arm.

Maybe he'd take pity on you after all.

"Good girl,"

He took his fingers out of you and hooked his arms around your legs bringing you to straddle his chest. He caught your ass cheeks and brought your cunt to his face.

"You're going to ride my face till you cum on my tongue like a good girl,"

Your eyes widened and you tried to speak, but his tongue was on your clit, lapping and licking and pulling it between his lips, sucking hard and your jaw dropped. You threw your hands on the bed to prop yourself as you began to ride his mouth. His tongue thrust in your wet hole and you cried out. His nose nudged on your clit and your fingers fisted around the sheets. Your sounds were intoxicating and your hips began to shake. He striked a blow to your asscheek and you cried out.

"Fuck! Please, daddy, I'm gonna cum... 'mma cum, please, please..."

He smacked your backside again, and again, till his hand was imprinted on a rosy colour on your skin, and your whole body was shaking. His tongue was fucking your hole and your clit was grinding against his nose, and it was all too much for you. You came so hard with a shout, and your body shook. Your legs closed around his head as he overstimulated you with his tongue and you grasped his hair, tearing his mouth off your cunt.

You were lying on your back before you knew it. He was standing on top of you, finally fully unbuttoning his shirt and you reached up for him, pushing his shirt down his shoulders, you brought him down to kiss you.

He kissed you hard and you could taste yourself on his lips. You buried your fingers in his hair and he let out a soft grunt, and you knew there was no way you could ever leave this man. What were you thinking?

He pulled from your lips and buried his face in your neck, kissing and biting, and leaving marks. "Mine," he groaned in your neck. "All mine," He bit down harshly enough to hurt and you trembled beneath him, but you loved each second. All you could do was agree with breathy yeses.

He pulled the leather belt from his pants and twisted you like a ragdoll on your stomach. He brought your hands to your back and tied your wrists to the small of your back with his belt tightly.

You whimpered, shaking your hands, trying to break free. He smirked. This was still a punishment after all. He sat by the edge of the bed, dragging your body with your stomach on his lap, your pretty ass in the air and his rough fingers brushing over it.

"Count to ten. If you lose count, we'll start over, is that understood?"

Fuck. This man was going to be the death of you. "Y- Yes, sir,"

Such a good girl. The first smack was harsh and it knocked a cry out of you, but the pain spread hot and straight to your cunt.

"One!"

The next smack sent your body jolting forward and tensing up.

"Two!"

By the fifth smack, you were sweating. Your backside felt like it was on fire, and your rosy skin burned as he ran his large palm over it to smooth away the sweet pain that had your cunt dripping. His bare cock was hard against your belly. Watching you shake, and whimper and trying to squirm away from his grip was a sight for sore eyes.

"S- Six!" You cried out and fat salty tears ran down your cheeks like a waterfall. Cute little sobs escaped your throat. You buried your face in the bedsheets. Your poor cunt was begging to be touched and you tried to soothe the pain by rubbing your thighs together but he landed the seventh blow to punish you for that. "S- Seven... please, daddy, 's too much... too much, I can't, it hurts- Ah!"

The eighth blow was hard. It landed straight to the dark red hand imprint of your butt cheek and it shut you up immediately. He was relentless and cruel.

"Do you think it didnt hurt? You, leaving me?" His hand reached for your face, forcing his fingers past your lips and you sucked on them obediently. He caught your hair with his free arm, to pull your head back so that he could look at your tear stained cheeks and your ruined mascara while he forced his fingers down your throat. "Daddy's precious little girl just doesn't love daddy enough, does she?"

You shook your head erratically and once he pulled his fingers out of your mouth you started apologising. "No! I love you, daddy, I love you so much, I'll never try to leave you again, I promise, I promise, I'll be good..."

"Aw, baby, I know,"

His fingers prodded to your hole and you gasped at the mere brush of his fingers all over your wet cunt. One finger slipped in easily, and then he eased in another, finding your spot immediately, and without any warning he began pumping it. You cried out. Finally some relief.

"Yes! Yes, daddy, please let me cum, please, please..."

It felt amazing. Thick fingers stretching your needy cunt thin and rough fingertips pressing over that sweet spongy spot over and over. The squelching noises of his fingers thrusting in your cunt were almost as loud as your sounds. It was embarrassing. You had enjoyed your punishment more than you should've.

You loved pain, and be knew it.

"Be a good girl and cum all over daddy's fingers,"

You needed no further prompting with how he was thrusting against your spot. Your vision almost went black and your body shook in his grasp as he finger-fucked you through your orgasm.

Before you knew it, he tossed you stomach down, ass up on the bed and thrust his fat cock inside you. You screamed. No matter how wet you are, the stretch of his girth and his size was always painful, but you loved it. He didn't even give you a moment to adjust. He started thrusting hard and fast right away. His own lust taking over him. Your wrists still bound, and your poor cunt still sensitive from the previous orgasm, you could do nothing but bury your face in the mattress and take it.

"Daddy, 's too much please-"

"Shut up, and take it," He growled, one hand on your shoulder to keep pushing you against him, the other sinking in the mattress. He listened to you as you screamed and cried, and squirmed, and sobbed melodiously. Such a pretty little thing. His pretty little thing.

You came hard around his cock. Your warm wet walls squeezed him so tight, he could have cum on the spot.  But he wasn't done with you. He pulled out of you, to watch your body shaking and your sweet hole throbbing.

A strong arm hooked around you, bringing your back against his chest and bringing you to your knees.

"Look up, baby," He spoke against your ear and you looked at your reflection in the mirror by the other side of the room with blurry eyes.

You were a mess. Ruined makeup, glossy eyes, salty cheeks, bitten lips. Wet thighs covered in your slick, and his veiny arm was wrapped around your neck. Large strong fingers were wrapped around your throat. You looked like a dog, his fingers, your leash, your master, the man behind you, who looked so much bigger comparing to your small, trembling body. Your hair were a disheveled mess and so were his own. Multiple marks were littered all over the skin of your neck, your chest, your breasts. His marks you were going to carry for days. You could feel his hard cock on the small of your back. You reached back for it, pumping it between your weak fingers and a small smirk spread on his lips.

"Look at yourself, y/n," He groaned agaisnt your ear. "You're so fucking beautiful. You're my beautiful little girl and no one will touch you but me, is that understood? You're mine,"

"Y- Yes, daddy, 'm yours, 'm yours, all yours..." You breathed heavily and you let out the sweetest sound as his cock eased back inside you. Your walls fluttered around him, welcoming him back in your wet heat.

"Good girl," He wrapped an arm around your stomach so that he could feel his cock protruding from there, and the arm around your throat caught your hair, pulling your face up. He caught your chin, parting your pretty lips and spitting in your mouth. You squirmed and swallowed right away. He petted your hair "Such a good girl," before pulling on your hair to turn your face back in the mirror. "Now look at yourself in the mirror while daddy fucks you,"

"Y- Yes, daddy,"

And you looked so good right there, as his cock slammed in and out of you. His arm was tight around you, slamming you back to him while the tip of his cock abused your sensitive spot over and over and you came hard almost instantly.

You've no idea how many orgasms he fucked out of you, but you blacked out in the end, used and shaky and exhausted as he pumped his cum into you and tucked you to bed. You faintly remember him telling you how much he loves you, and how impossible he was going to make it for you to ever leave him <3

[codewordpumpkin]

The Blacklist 8x04 Thoughts

i’m gonna begin with the NEGATIVES first because i like to end things on a high note:

- having to watch Liz reach a new low (shocking, i know) by manipulating and using Ressler, tarnishing a genuine friendship/partnership/sibling-ship through sex

- having to watch the most awkward sex scene in the world... what makes it awkward, you ask? well, the use of body doubles was way too obvious + liz’s dead eyes (lmaoooooo the bitch was ice cold) i mean cmon, i know the lights were off but at least try and be more convincing, girl

- liz impersonating a cartoon villain + liz trying to steal red’s associates literally made me laugh... ah what a joke :’) + i still genuinely don’t understand why liz is THIS fired up on getting “revenge” and killing red... like yes she has a right to be upset for red killing her bio mom in front of her but like... she knew kat for all of two seconds and liz has somehow forgotten all about kat using her and putting her daughter at risk and also conveniently forgetting about all the times RED WAS THERE FOR HER AND PROTECTED HER AND SAVED HER AND LOVED HER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i really can’t get over this “character development”... like at least give us a believable explanation for this stupid stupid stupid arc????

- tptb dumbing red down to allow liz to outsmart him... ughhhhhh cmon guys:

1. it’s MARVIN FFS! MARVIN!!!!

2. even if marvin was a traitor, no way red would hand power over to Skip or Chip or whatever the fuck his name is JUST LIKE THAT ugh

3. red (the one we know and love) would NEVER fall for the dumb ass ruse - airline tickets to switzerland with marvin’s real name on it lmaoooooo my god even liz admitted how lame that scheme was

3. cringed when liz got all giddy on the jet... taunting red on the phone as if she’s some mastermind.... bitch please

*now, finally, for the POSITIVES*:

- i actually love the fact that liz and ress slept together bc

1. she was using sex to manipulate ressler 

2. her dead eyes say more than anything i could

3. lol it’s like when samar and ress slept together... did anything come out of that? nope, nothing except Saram... aka ressler is just a tool the girl must use to find her way to her actual soulmate/endgame

3. tbh i see this as tptb killing keenler. i have literally zero worries about keenler being endgame. even aram thinks it’s a terrible idea lol “tell me it wasn’t at your apartment”

4. also park calling ress out for wanting to protect liz + park calling ress hot last ep = me thinking park has more of an actual chance with ress than liz does... which is fine by me

- *UNICORN* SOCKS!!!!!! (agnes saying they’re good luck + ress asking liz if she thinks unicorn socks will protect her from red) y’all remember the unicorn references in that one ep back in s6 (seriously can’t remember which ep it was but i think it was in s6) where i think brimley (possibly?) had some sort of UNICORN speech and at the end of the ep (possibly?) red and liz sit on a bench and watch agnes riding the carousel on not just a regular horse but a UNICORN??? ALSO THE SOCKS WERE R E D!!! coincidence?? I THINK NOT 

- liz taking her and tom’s engagement ring + thinking fondly of tom + talking to agnes about tom aka her agnes’ “father” = BAIT!!!! tom is dead (DEAD, dead) and not going to return except through flashbacks. I swear to god, tptb are using all this tom reminiscing to set up for some sort of revelation later on (a revelation regarding red and liz ofc... #agnesgate)

- liz looking gorg tho

- red looking gorg too

- shoutout to red’s associates who are loyal AF + liz talking to marvin in the restaurant as if she’s some italian gangster lmao... “you write your ticket... 50/50... i could make you riDICulOUsly RicH” lol also liz telling him red’s not loyal lol says the girl who betrayed literally everyone in her life lollllll please bitch go to your room)

- is it just me or is agnes getting blonder (yes i know it’s a diff child actress, but tptb chose this actress for a reason... #agnesgate)

- red’s very... interesting facial expressions (annoyed? mad? upset? JEALOUS?) when aram and ressler barged into cooper’s office to say liz called + red goading/pissing on Donald bc he fucking knows they slept together lmaoooo loved when red did his squinty face + his tone/face when he says “i believe you do... that’s what worries me” when ress said he believes liz was telling the truth about marvin turning +++ i also think red was more hardcore with marvin bc he was coming right from cooper’s office aka after his little butt-in with ressler aka after he found out liz and ress slept together AND HE’S PISSED (even marvin says “you’re so puffed up with anger, you don’t see it”

- this whole Sick Red arc being pushed in front of our faces and screamed into our ears (red repeatedly talking about his numbered days, repeatedly referencing his will (and leaving everything to liz), showing us red coughing blood + his many pills) just reinforces my belief that Red WILL NOT DIE... this is just bait + set up for next arc or endgame aka red and liz and agnes eventually living happily ever after

- Dembe telling red and us what we all already know aka RED LOVES LIZ!!!! + red admitting he “didn’t have a plan” in a heartbroken voice/face bc he’s a fool in love

- as much as i hate liz antagonizing red, i do like that this evens their playing field a bit, making liz more... worthy? capable? of being a partner to red

- love how murderous red’s face was when he warned the russian dude he better fucking NOT hurt liz keen 

* SIDE THOUGHTS * : 

- i hope marvin stays loyal to red even after all the goat torture... you’re the GOAT, marvin

- i wish we could’ve seen red’s reaction to liz escaping with agnes (bc he must know that puts agnes *cough-hisdaughter-cough* in even more danger)

- i can’t wait to watch red kill Skip lol 

- im sorta ignoring the whole red being N13 thing bc i give zero fucks to who red was (and the entire mythology of the show at this point)... i care about WHO HE IS... and that is a man who just LOVES ELIZABETH KEEN... literally nothing else matters to me

- i know pretty much everyone HATED this ep, but overall, i actually enjoyed it

*** END OF TBL 8x04 THOUGHTS***

this took me forever and a half to write + is not edited (clearly) so please ignore any spelling/grammar/disorganization/whatever 

[mottephobia-imagines]

Ikemen Sengoku Mafia!AU (Oda Forces)

In case y’all didn’t know I also write for Otome (both Voltage and Cybird)

—

Oda Nobunaga: the leader

Absolutely a leader of a yakuza- and a good one at that too

(Assuming this takes place in modern day japan) runs one of the biggest Yakuza factions

On the outside though, he’s a very successful heir to a large, multimillion company (think Eisuke Ichinomiya from KBTBB I mean they’re practically the same person cmon)

Due to his seemingly inconspicuous ‘day job’ and charming personality making him very popular to the public eye, no one suspects him of being involved in any organized crime, so he’s able to operate very smoothly under the radar

Of course, he has spies every where- including in the government and police force so his tracks are very covered

Aims to take political power at some point and have his faction be the dominant faction (eliminating all possible rivals)

His biggest one being his enemy Kenshin Uesugi’s faction, who takes any and every opportunity they can to get under his nerves constantly lmao

Nobunaga and Kenshin have never seen each other face to face (if they did it’d be a blood bath), but still have an unspoken respect for each other as much as they hate each other lmao

The rivalry between their two families has lasted generations- now that it’s their turn, Nobunaga is determined to end it with the last laugh

Nobunaga’s still the same arrogant, cocky bastard he is, but 100x worse (as with modern technology)

Grew up with a very traditional family who were samurais in the past, so he’s had a lot of training in swordsmanship and martial arts

Always keeps a pistol in his jacket pocket and wears a bulletproof vest 90% of the time

(He’s not that good with guns tho)

On his desk there’s probably a little plateful of candies, and his fridge is also stocked with sweet things (it’s a wonder how he doesn’t have diabetes yet)

Also has a pocketful of tiny candies to last him throughout the day (much to Hideyoshi’s dismay)

Also, slicked back hair, suited up Nobunaga with a sleeve tattoo (he’d have to try really hard to keep his sleeve tattoo hidden but still just imagine)

Hideyoshi Toyotomi: the bodyguard

Hideyoshi is Nobunaga’s most trusted confidant, who also serves as his bodyguard

Wherever Nobunaga goes, Hideyoshi follows suit

More often than not the voice of reason

Always trusts his gut and is always skeptical of new members (or just people in general why won’t you trust me dammit)

He came from a poor family of farmers in the countryside, and when they couldn’t take care of him anymore they abandoned him

He was a thief for a little while, until Nobunaga’s dad took him in and raised him as his own

Hideyoshi deems this a debt he has to pay, and him helping Nobunaga and keeping him straight will repay the family’s kindness

He’s always the one to direct less major missions and cleans up the messes

Frequently in contact with Mistuhide, and he hates the guy (more like annoyed tbh)

He’s basically Nobunaga’s messenger lmao

And mother older brother figure, he frequently stops Nobunaga from rampaging over something insignificant and keeps him from being unhealthy by taking away his candies sometimes

Is better skilled with a gun, and thus carries not one, but two (those like shoulder straps for guns under his suit type of thing)

He goes undercover from time to time, although it’s not his specialty- he’s kind of a jack of all trades kinda guy

He’s really good at sussing out the spies and traitors, because he listens to his gut and it’s almost always right

Will do anything and everything to help Nobunaga succeed, even if it means killing anyone who stands in the way

Date Masamune: the affiliate

Masamune is actually the leader of another yakuza faction, but since it was so weak at the time he took the opportunity to pair up with Nobunaga

His faction deals more with drugs and weapons, smuggling them over borders and getting them out and in of the country

That being said, most of his deals take place at exclusive bars and clubs- where the richest of the rich gather

He’s a pretty laid-back guy for someone who runs a drug syndicate- he doesn’t really care how things get done as long as they get done somehow

Also pretty goofy- when people first meet him, they’d think that there was no way he was in the yakuza

Even though the sleeve tattoos and the eyepatch probably should’ve been enough for them to know

And the massive amount of jewelry, too- Masamune isn’t shy about his wealth like at all

He’s totally the type to wear those bigass rings, complete with sapphires on them just to show off a little more

He loves to piss off Nobunaga, he loves for it

Ieyasu tells him that it might get him killed (low key a worried bb) but Masamune knows Nobunaga isn’t gonna get rid of him anytime soon; due to the fact that Masamune’s faction gives a shit ton of money

Him and Ieyasu tolerate get along pretty well, although the latter may deny it

Out of all of them, he’s probably the strongest and most skilled combat-wise; he’s adept in martial arts, knives and blades, as well as having an extensive knowledge on firearms and even bombs and how to use them

Honestly, he’s with Nobunaga just for the power boost- ones his faction gets enough power, he’s gonna dip then come back and be like ‘sike u thought’

Masamune has the same aspiration as both Nobunaga and Kenshin, but knows he can’t fight them both at the same time. So why not let the two battle it out then fight the winner?

Akechi Mistuhide: the spy

Aka the rat

Mistuhide is a double agent working for Nobunaga, on his own terms

He’s a spy within the government’s police force, and nobody has caught him yet

Tells Nobunaga about any upcoming busts and when and where they’re gonna go, who they’re going to investigate and go after, basically all information on cases that may affect him

Very good at hiding his tracks- it’s almost impossible to get this guy

Also very good at swaying his coworkers and even bosses- tells them whether or not to pursue a case or person, acknowledge evidence, and even do something for him

He started out as an assassin for hire before becoming an informant for Nobunaga, which is the foundation for the distrust Hideyoshi has on him

Coupled with the fact that he’s easily a manipulative and cunning bastard, you’ve got someone who is a valuable asset but you can’t help but wonder when he’ll turn his back on you

He’s actually the son of a very rich man who had many wives and concubines; growing up, his father’s other wives would try to kill him using any tactic they could, so he developed quickly some skills that children shouldn’t have learned

He knows when food and drinks are poisoned, when someone is trying to ambush you, and when someone is lying- and this was before any formal training for an assassin

Because of his talent with blades and smaller guns, he’s the one Nobunaga sends out most of the time to kill someone and make it seem like an accident

Teams up with Masamune to annoy Nobunaga, Hideyoshi, and Ieyasu (sometimes)

He once went undercover with Hideyoshi- the teasing was unfiltered and hard. Hideyoshi kept yelling at him to please stop, we have a fuckinh mission to do and you making me flustered will not make this any less difficult.

He honestly just lives to see people annoyed/embarrassed lmao

Used to tease Ieyasu a lot before Masamune came and essentially replaced him

Mitsuhide’s reasons for joining Nobunaga’s faction still remains a mystery, and he’d like to keep it that way

Tokugawa Ieyasu: the doctor

Why is there no yellow

The underground doctor who works for Nobunaga, Ieyasu has plenty of knowledge and experience despite his young age

At first, you’d think he isn’t a doctor at all- he‘s rough, not exactly friendly, and easily irritated; which is exactly what makes him so good at his job

As an underground doctor, Ieyasu’s primary job is to salvage whatever unfortunate soul had been injured at the time- sometimes, it’d be much, much more than one person

He can’t afford to let his emotions get to him and slow him down, so he’s learned to repress his emotions and completely focus on his job instead

Also, he can’t be like a traditional doctor because he’s dealing with criminals here- and with his pretty face, not everyone’s gonna take him seriously if he offers the usual caring doctor attitude

Ieyasu grew up in a wealthy family before being kidnapped and sold in the black market as a child, abused within the system and eventually ended up in an old doctor’s hands

The old doctor would basically take him on as an apprentice and told him all his medical knowledge, urging him to follow in his footsteps before he died

When the doctor did die, Ieyasu continued his medical studies and attended several schools and universities before going off the grid completely

Years later he was found in a back alley market (think the black market from beastars) by non other than Nobunaga, who he saved from some thugs (or at least tried to)

Because of his work as a doctor, he often forgets to really take a rest and goes days without sleeping and living off spicy ramen noodles

It’s gotten so bad at one point that Masamune (who buys the noodles for him regularly) actually confiscated all of them and demanded Ieyasu be given a day off (he can’t have tease him if he’s dead!)

Speaking of Masamune, they met after the ‘eyepatch wearing idiot’ came into his clinic after a particularly grueling gun fight with the police

He’s kind of thankful for Masamune- Ieyasu would still have to deal with Mitsuhide and that guy gets on his nerves the quickest, if Masamune didn’t take his spot lmao

He has a little pet porcupine at home, and he sometimes sticks him in the chest pocket of his doctor’s coat whenever he knows he’s gonna spend days at his clinic

Don’t let his pretty looks fool you; mans learned many combat skills from Masamune including how to absolutely murder people with guns

Ishida Mitsunari: the hacker

From how sweet and kind he looks he definitely does not look like part of the Yakuza

Like, he looks like he belongs in a classroom teaching kids, not in a computer room hacking government files

Extremely skilled hacker- he can get any information from anywhere and leave no trace

Is the main source of information for Nobunaga

Mitsunari was the son of a college professor, and spent most of his time reading in the school library when his father took him to his lectures

Pretty soon he found himself loving computers and tinkering with them, eventually leading to him hacking some minor websites

Fat forward a couple of years and his curious nature doesn’t stop, leading to him discovering some secret files/tapes of Nobunaga’s faction

He left a clear enough trace that he was easily tracked down and almost killed; however, Nobunaga saw some potential in him and decided to give him a choice between dying or joining them (not much of a choice there buddy)

He joined in his late teens, so he’s never really experienced what life was like (thanks Nobunaga)

Nonetheless, he’s actually pretty terrifying when he’s angry

With his demeanor, you’d think he wouldn’t have a mean bone in his body- wrong

Being in the yakuza at a young age, he’s seen some shit and learned some shit- and he’s even tried some of them

Many people have spited him, thinking he’s a doormat

Mitsunari does not let that fly

People underestimate how much he can ruin their lives through the computer screen- financial ruin, a hard hit to reputations, etc

He rarely if ever does that though, most of the time he’d just brush it off and continue what he’s doing (unless it escalates then you’re fucked lmao Mitsudarki come thru)

Mitsunari’s really good with kids, so often times the higher ups or other members leave their kids or pets with him because even if he is booked for work, he still takes stellar care of them

Gets teased by Mitsuhide often, but doesn’t get what he’s saying most of the time

Is heavily opposed to killing- he’d much rather talk it through with someone or ruin their life rather than taking it

—

Uggghhhhh this took so long but I love these little shits so it was worth it 😤😤 they’re so pretty wth-

[swampgoth]

related 2 last post but tangential enough i didnt wanna put it in the tags

re: carbon footprints / the fools guilt in attempting to survive capitalism

i live on a wheat/soybean/corn farm and like. our carbon footprint is relatively low. not negative, we’re still using heavy equipment/farming/burning wood to keep the house warm, but...cmon.

and so in canada we’re doing this thing called carbon credit, where corporate/factory farms with REALLY HIGH carbon footprints will essentially pay farms that have very low or negative carbon footprints. and you cant have a factory farm without a massive carbon footprint, so all the farms that are being paid are tiny little ones. which is good, pay your local farmer. but also like..... ... it doesnt make a difference at all on the global scale of climate change 

sure. maybe that small farm will use the money they make to invest in machinery with better fuel efficiency. maybe another hot water tank, so they burn less wood to keep their house warm. good changes of course. i think being environmentally friendly is good. but a handful of small farms having a negative footprint is nowhere near big enough to truly like...matter in the long run

all it makes me think is “crimes payable by fine are legal for the rich” and “throw money at it, itll go away” 

like. factory farms pumping out carbon all day every day but giving a small package sum to a handful of “good” farms doesnt change that theyre pumping out carbon all day. they cannot pay enough small farms to offset their own pollution, but now that they ARE paying it, they dont have to change a god damn thing about their practices, and can say theyre “helping the environment<3″

just like how “taxing the rich” wont work bcos theyre still fucking rich freeloaders hoarding wealth and keeping people in poverty lol. and if u tax them theyll be like “um<3 i dont have to change anythign about my lifestyle because i pay Taxes<3” and idiots will be like “um<3 the rich pay taxes now so its fine<3″ 

and then wholesale guilt poor people for eating meat and driving trucks 

i get mad about the environment

[superfem-imagines]

High school Run-ins

This is a supercorp fic based off Cherry Bomb by The Runins. I wanted to write something between requests and my friend recommended this song.

So this is a Punk Lena supercorp high school fic

Warnings: swearing, mild violence, homophobia

-----

Hello, daddy. Hello, mom.

I'm your ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!

I cut the engine to my motorcycle, kicking out the stand and hanging my helmet on the handles. Closing the garage door, I cut the lights and go inside. The clock on the wall shows it’s 2am, hopefully Lillian is asleep. Closing the door behind me I walk towards the stairs, groaning when the living room light behind me turns on.

“Where the hell have you been?” I roll my eyes as Lillian whisper yells at me.

I turn to her, raising my eyebrow before replying. “Out.” I had barely turned around before she called for me to stop. Turning back I was met with her cutting glare.

“Why the hell were you gone so long? You know you have a curfew!”

I glared at her before jumping the railing in front of me, making sure to scuff her floor with my boots. “You’re not my mom, so it doesn’t really matter.”

She stepped forward and slapped me,  leaving a stinging on my cheek. “You will treat me with respect,” Lillian roared,  face near mine and spit flying. I don’t say anything, opting to take her wrath.

Can't stay at home, can't stay at school.

Old folks say 'You poor little fool'.

Down the streets I'm the girl next door.

I'm the fox you've been waiting for.

I gripped the straps of my bag, walking between Alex and the street. Cars drove by us, people on their way to work honking to let us know they were there. Each blaring honk made me flinch, the noise louder to me than to Alex thanks to being an alien. I focused on the rustling of the leaves instead of the cars, birds instead of horns.

The sound of a click caught my attention and I looked around to find out what made the noise. Up ahead a girl was leaning against a telephone pole, cigarette in her mouth and lighter in her hand. ‘That’s where the sound came from,’ I thought to myself before turning my attention to the girl.

She had long black hair, the left side shaved. When she bent her arm I could see a tattoo peek out from under her sleeve. She wore a leather jacket and ripped jeans, with big boots to top it off. When she looked up her eyes were as green as the leaves around us, eyebrow piercing glinting in the sun.

I gently tugged on Alex’s bag to get her attention. “Who is that?” I ask, nodding in the direction of the girl.

Looking at her, Alex rolls her eyes. “Lena Luthor, rebel rich girl. She goes to our school, not that she ever actually shows up.” Alex doesn’t spare her another glance as we pass, speeding up as she realizes we might be late.

I look back at the girl, losing sight of her as we turn the corner.

Stone age love and strange sounds too.

Come on, baby, let me get to you.

Bad nights causing teenage blues.

I zip up my bag and sling it over my shoulder, slamming my locker closed. Putting my headphones on, I walk down the hall with classic rock playing. My hair brushes against my cheek, stinging the bruise left over from Lillian. I grit my teeth and lift my head, glaring at anyone who looks at me.

A scuffle by the lockers catches my attention. As I get closer I realize it was Connor and his gang. ‘Probably bullying someone again,’ I think to myself, sighing as I realize this was gonna be my second detention today.

Just as I was about to step in, a girl with reddish hair flung herself at Connor. Impressed, I turned to the girl that was getting bullied, faltering as I realized it was the cute girl from the street. Before I could say anything, Connor and the others ran past swearing at the girl from earlier, who was now leading the blonde away.

I scowled, heading to my class with thoughts of the blonde girl.

Hello world! I'm your wild girl.

I'm your ch-ch-ch-cherry bomb!

Leaning against the school building I soak in the sun, eyes closed and hearing tuned into the trees past the parking lot. Alex was running behind as she talked to her science teacher. A scuffle on the other side of the parking lot caught my attention. Frowning I walked closer to see what was happening, stopping near a group of kids watching too.

“Whatever you fucking dyke, you’re a disappointment to your family,” a bright haired boy stood face to face with Lena Luthor. “I’m surprised the Luthor’s didn’t send you back, maybe get a better kid.”

Before the kid could say anything else, Lena punched him in the face. I winced as I heard his nose break. Straightening up, she pushed her hair out of the way, knuckles red from the impact. Her green eyes pierced through the crowd of onlookers, seeming to pause when she saw me.

I smile before turning to walk back to my meeting spot with Alex.

Hey, street boy, want some style?

Your dead end dreams don't make you smile.

I'll give you something to live for.

As I get back to our spot, someone shoved me into the wall. I made sure that I didn’t break through it, like Alex taught me. When a hand pulled on my shoulder I turned around, coming face to face with the boys from before.

“Hey freak,” the main boy sneered at me as his friends surrounded us. “Where’s your sister now?”

“Not here to protect you, huh?” One of the others called out, taunting me.

As the lead boy pulled on me I allowed him, knowing it would be suspicious if I didn’t move. He pushed me into one of the other boys, who in turn shoved me away. This continued until I was suddenly caught in the arms of someone, pulling me close to their chest.

“Now, I may not have been the girl from earlier but don’t make me give you the same beating,” the person holding me paused, probably glaring at the boys if their reactions were any indication.

“Whatever.” And with that they were gone.

Pulling away from the person, I looked up and realized it was Lena Luthor. “You ok?” I blushed before nodding.

“Thank you, they couldn’t have hurt me and Alex will be here anyways. They did the same thing earlier today but she kicked their butts. Alex is my sister by the way, she’s talking to her teacher right now,” I stopped rambling, blushing even more and looking to my shoes.

“Cute glasses,” I looked up to find her smirking at me, eyes a darker green than earlier.

“Thanks.”

“Kara!” At the sound of Alex’s voice, I turned and grinned at her. Reaching out, she wrapped her arms around me and stepped back away from Lena. “Are you ok? Connor told me that-” she cut herself off, seeming to change her mind. “It doesn’t matter, you didn’t hit him, did you?”

“No,” pulling away I turned and smiled at the brooding girl in front of us. “Lena chased them off.” At her name, Lena turned and gave an awkward wave.

“Thank you for helping my sister,” I raised my eyebrows, surprised Alex was being nice, especially because of how she reacted to Lena this morning.

“Not a problem, the boys were blocking the way,” she stated before brushing past us, swinging onto a motorcycle and buckling the helmet on her head. “See ya later blondie.” Kickstarting her ride, she veered out of the parking lot.

“Cmon Kar, let’s head home.”

The entire way, thoughts of the green eyed girl filled my head. I smiled, hoping to see her tomorrow.

[junepop45]

Love right Under the Mistletoe

Summary: JD and Atlas host a Christmas party for The Rose Thorns! (This story isn’t cannon, but it was still fun to write.)

Word count: 1320

It was an early holiday party. JD knew that everyone would be gone with other friends and family the 24th through the 26th, so they held a party of their own. With the help of Atlas, a few streamers, cookies, and an assortment of sodas, the practice lounge looked like a decently put together-

“X-mas shindig!”

“Yea, no. River, I love you, but we are not calling it that,” Mia laughed. GD and Static walked behind them, not really tuned into the other two’s disagreement. The twins wore matching thing one thing two sweaters to “Match the Christmas Spirit” as JD specified. River wore a sweater navy blue sweater with the Christmas Tree from “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” the pathetic one with one ornament on it. Mia wore a light pink one, with the phrase “Bubblegum Bitch” written in white with a few hot pink blobs scattered about her top. They all were JD opened the door for them while bouncing up and down. 

“Guys, thank you so much for coming! This is my first time planning something like this and I wanted to make it special this time around.”

“Don’t let them fool you!” Atlas yelled from the band room, grabbing some speakers. “I helped out too. This elfy punk can’t take all the credit.” He motions towards JD’s outfit, a read joker hat with a classic green elf outfit with curly striped shoes. He wore a deep red sweater with an image of Dio Brando shouting "You thought this was a Christmas sweater, but it was me, Dio!"

“Don’t worry, JD. Your height gave it away,” Mia snidely remarked.

“Y’all are gonna get coal for Christmas if you don’t stop messing with me!” They said, crossing their arms and sticking out their tongue. They motion everyone to follow behind them. The front “lobby” of the cave has green and red streamers strewn about erratically. Across from the couch was a table with some pizza, chips, cookies, sodas and a fruit cake. On the other side of the room were mics, speakers, and chairs for whenever they wanted to start singing festive music. As they gang heads to grab snacks, they admire the place, seeing the hard work and dedication that JD and Atlas put in.

“How long have you guys been at it?” River asked.

“Mmmm, maybe like 8 hours?” Atlas said, between bites of fruit cake. “Most of it was finding what we needed. You would think there’s a war outside, with how empty these shelves were,” he joked. JD gave him a high five before sitting on the couch next to River. 

She put on this headband with a stick attached to it with a mistletoe to the end of it. She leaned over to GD and tapped her shoulder. “Hey, babe?” River cooed. GD turned to River, confused. When River pointed above them, everything clicked. She became a blushing mess, causing River to laugh at how cute she was being. She pulled the demon in for a kiss, being cautious not to hit her horns. This was followed by an “awwww” from the other bandmates. JD glanced over at Mia, wondering if they could share a moment similar. They ended up staring long enough that she noticed, and stared back, chuckling to herself. River took off the head band and quietly whispered, “Got ‘em,” in GD’s ear. Atlas got up to stretch. 

“Alright, gang. Now that we've had a feast, how’s about we do a few Christmas Carols this fine Christmas Eve?” He asked, trying to hype up the crowd.

“Hell yea, let’s do Mariah Carey’s ‘All I want for Christmas is You,” Static suggested.

GD was confused. “I thought you hated that song,”

“Oh, absolutely,” Static confirmed. “But SOMEBODY keeps belting it 24/7, so let’s have her do it with some accompaniment-” She tossed a mic towards Mia.

“Don’t call me out like this, demonio,” she snapped, catching it. “And be careful! We just replaced one of these fuckers.” 

“My bad,” Static said while she walked over to the computer. “So are you gonna sing it, or not?”

“Oh, hell yea! I wouldn’t pass up the chance.” 

The room rumbled once the song began playing. Everyone had their attention to Mia, who vocalized for the first ten seconds. Her voice was so powerful. It was full and rich, like her hair whenever she wore it down. JD could feel their cheeks burning. They would honestly kill to have such a talented singing voice like that. Once she reached the final you of the introduction, Static pulled out a tambourine and some sleigh bells, tossing some percussion at each onlooker, including JD. GD and River joined Mia on the melody, while Atlas and Static opted out to the “ooo”s and “ahh”s. The band slapped their bells and tambourines to the rhythm, taking breaks to laugh at how hilarious the situation was. The song ended with an epic mic drop and the other members doing jazz hands around Mia, like the whole thing was a music video. She made a beeline to the couch, crashing instantly.

“Damn, that was fun! I’m gonna rest here a moment, but keep the party going guys,” she said out of breath. While the rest of the gang picked what to sing next, JD chose to put up the percussion for Static.

When they were done, they meandered over and sat next to Mia. “Hey, thanks for coming over last minute. I knew you all would head out for the holidays and I wanted to throw us a party before then,” they said.

“No problem, JD,” she assured. “We wouldn’t miss this for the world! I know how much Christmas means a lot to you, growing up in a Latino home after all.” They both laughed, thinking about how according to South Americans, Christmas could span two to three months, depending how festive the family was.

“It’s a fun time of year! Hanging out with loved ones, filling up on sweets-“

“Belting Christmas Carols at 2am,” Mia joked, punching them in the arm.

“Cmon, Princesa. You loved la parranda from last year.”

“Yea, there’s nothing better than Christmas Assault before catching an eight hour flight that same morning.”

JD scratched behind their ear. “Yea, I’m still sorry about that.”

“I’m teasing, lobo.” Mia said. She looked around the place again. Across the room, she saw Atlas and River belting “Take on Me” while Static recorded and GD queuing up some other tunes. “You always go all out for the holidays. It reminds me of when I was a kid, back in Puerto Rico. And the streets were flooded with people. You’d think it was a Christmas cult or something! It was such a festive time.” She places her hand on JD’s lap, causing them to flinch a bit. 

“I-I’m glad!” They stammered. “It’s my favorite time of year. I get to show off how much I love you guys. A-and I tried t-to get everything a good Christmas party needs. Food, drinks, streamers, fruit cake, a tree. You know!”

“Yeah, you got almost everything. But you’re missing something.” Mia turns to look at them. JD can’t help but look back in confusion and anticipation.

“W-what?”

Mia pulls out a tiny mistletoe and hangs it above both of their heads. “A holiday kiss, of course,” she teased before pulling them in. JD sat there frozen for a moment before melting into the kiss. They wrap their arms around her, not wanting for the moment to fade.

“It’s a goddamn Christmas miracle,” Atlas groaned.

  River gave him a fist bump. “I know, right?”

“Hey, River. Did you give Mia your mistletoe just so she could do that?”  GD asked.

“Yeah. I only used it as a prop since I can kiss you whenever,” River teased, throwing in a wink and an air kiss to boot. GD was speechless, growing red in the face.

Taglist: @aliensmoothie-gotta-blast​ @doodledream @nerdqueenkat @no-need-to-apply

[i-writeandread-blog]

Halloween (originally a one shot) Chapter 1

This was published as a one shot through @echelonlab but I needed to make an edit to the characters name (as it was originally Cat, and we can’t have that, now can we? Lol) I will change the title once I can come up with something clever. I’m open to suggestions. Anyway, here’s the new updated version. Enjoy!

"Delilah, you have to come.  It's Jared Leto's party. You love him.  Just say yes.  I know it's last minute, but you can't turn down this once in a lifetime opportunity."  Angie pleaded with me.

My friend Angie had just moved to LA and somehow managed to get invited to Jared's Halloween party.  I couldn't figure out if she was just lucky or if somehow she stalked the right people.  She didn't care about Jared or his band, but she knows this is a dream come true for me.

"I can't figure out how you did it, Ang.  Of all the people, you get invited to my absolute favorite humans place.  But as much as I want to come, how could I? Flights are expensive when they're last minute and in case you didn't know, I'm not loaded with cash."  I proffered.

"Delilah, you get on a plane and you come and you meet your idol, I don't want to hear anymore excuses. Do you understand?" She isn't going to let me decline, if I don't show up she'll be mad enough to go months without talking to me. I have no choice. Scared as I am, I am going to LA and I can only hope I can be in the same room with Jared and not fangirl, faint, or make a complete fool of myself.

                                    -~~-

Three days later I found myself exiting LAX airport and into the most welcoming of weather and arms.  LA from what I could tell was going to be amazing at every vantage point.  Except maybe the few sketchy areas we drove past.  I was glad Angie's apartment was nowhere near those places.  My eyes were wide and I felt child-like taking it all in.

Angie had been an extra at the film studios back home and when she decided to take a chance and try for bigger things in LA, everyone, myself included, thought she was nuts.  But in the 5 months since she arrived she had already been cast in a tv pilot.  It was anyone's guess as to if it'd actually be picked up by a network, but she seemed to think it would.

Her apartment was the size of a shoebox, but it was in West Hollywood where she assured me was the "place to be."  We didn't stay there but to sleep, so it wasn't that cramped. The next two days we shopped for my Halloween costume and I finally found pieces that would make the perfect one, much to Angie's dismay.

                                   -~~-

"Today's the day! Are you excited?" Angie bounces on the bed.  "Go away. It's too early!" I begin throwing pillows at her head.  "Not a chance sweetheart, I didn't barter with the devil only to miss out on my favorite girl meeting her celebrity crush. Get. out. of. bed. now!" She is tenacious as ever.

I am nervous and anxious. Time feels like it will stand still, but I know it is just my imagination.

'What will I say to him if given the chance? How will I keep my cool? Will he even notice me?' A million questions and thoughts start running through my head.

"Oh for Heavens sake, get out of your head! Drink your coffee and start getting dressed. It's already 1 in the afternoon, thanks to your laziness. If I didn't know any better I would think you're trying to get out of going." Angie screamed. "I am not! I'm just scared. Look you go get ready and I will do the same." I say even though a part of what she said is right.

I lay out the tights, shorts, and vest of my costume on the couch as Angie showers. As soon as she is done, it's my turn. I work out all the kinks in my neck and let the water massage my tense muscles. I get out and begin the process of making myself into the silliest of characters.

"I don't get your costume.  It's so weird.  I don't think anyone will know what or who you are."  Angie says as she puts on her slutty Little Red Riding Hood outfit.  "Yes, but HE will know. That's all that matters.  Sorry I couldn't be cliché like you!" I joke. I put on my hat to finish the look and we leave.

We still have several hours before the party but she insists we go out already dressed.  We go to eat at a diner and then since we are in Hollywood I request some light sightseeing on Hollywood Blvd.  Some people stop and give me a puzzling look. I smile and offer no explanations. To my right I hear a child say "look mommy it's Robin Hood."  I have to laugh because I can see where they would think that's what I am.

Time rushes by and it's now 8'o clock so we make our way up into the winding streets of Hollywood Hills and to the Wonderland compound.  I get out of the car, blowing out a breath I am holding, grab my props and repeat a mantra in my head, 'I am here. This will change your life, let's do this!'

"Cmon. Let's go have some fun and meet some crazy rich celebrities!"  Angie grabs my arm and pulls. "Wait! I'm not ready!" The words rush out past my lips.

Angie is trying to get me moving by saying, "It's go time, the time is nigh, now or never."

"Do or die." I whisper.

"Huh? Yeah whatever. Let's just go in. If it becomes too much for you, just squeeze my arm and we will leave, okay?" I begin squeezing her arm. "Not now dork! Give it at least 20 minutes."

The music is louder the closer we get to the door, people are arriving in droves, but I don't recognize anyone yet. We walk in and follow everyone else towards what I think is where Jared recently did a private concert for radio winners.

I notice Jared instantly. He's standing in the shadows apparently aware of everyone around him, his eyes darting around, but he's talking with Jamie and Jordan and laughing. I look away feeling a pang of guilt for staring in the first place. I can't help but think he looks gorgeous in his Jon Snow getup.

Almost immediately I find myself separated from Angie. Panic starts to rise up and I try to calm myself with breathing in and out. I don't know anyone here aside from her. I turn toward the entrance we walked in from, then back to the other garage-like door which opens out to the pool. There's people everywhere. I look back to where Jared was, but he's not there anymore.

"Oh no no no." I blurt out. Then directly behind me I hear, "I'm the only Bart Cubbins in this house." It's Jared's unmistakable voice. I gulp.

I turn to find myself face to face with Jared. My breathing hitches in my throat.  He gives me a sly smile and licks his lips.  I'm fairly certain I am going to pass out.  He stands back and gives me a once over look.  "This is perfection! I don't know why I didn't think of this."

I curtsy and almost immediately regret it. "It was the only thing I could think of to wear once I found these hats at a costume shop.  But I could never try to be the real Bart Cubbins." I explain to him. "Oh I don't know about that! Looks pretty spot on to me.  I'm Jared." He offers his hand.

Of course he has to know that I'm aware of who he is, after-all it is his party, but even if there were questions as to whether or not I knew it was his party and in fact him, the mere fact that I am dressed as his favorite Dr. Seuss character should be a good indicator.

"I'm Delilah. It's nice to meet you Jared." I shake his hand.  "Delilah, how did you come to be at my party? I don't recognize you?"  I begin to freak out. 'Am I not meant to be here? I'm gonna kill Angie!' The look of panic must be evident on my face because Jared laughs and says, "don't worry, I'm not kicking you out or anything, just didn't know why I've never had the pleasure of meeting you before."

"Im umm..." My throat is dry and I look around to see where the drinks in people's hands are coming from.  Jared notices.  "How about I get you a drink and we go sit somewhere quieter where we can talk?"  As much as I'd like to take him up on his offer I wouldn't dare dream on acting upon it.  "No, I don't want to take you away from your party and your friends."  He shakes his head, not letting me say no.

He leans in close.  "I'll tell you a secret, half the people here I don't like.  The other half are either friends or employees who won't even miss me if I leave."  I can't believe what he is saying.  Under different circumstances I would miss him if he left the room.  "Come.  I'll give you the grand tour."  He takes my hand and leads me into the house.  I notice several eyes on me as we make our exit.  He really has no idea how wrong he is about being missed.  Or I'm wrong and the people staring are looking for gossip fodder.

We enter the kitchen and he asks if I would like something to eat.  I shake my head no.  I'd throw up instantly from all the bundled up nerves inside of me going crazy.  He hands me a glass and asks what I would like to drink.  I tell him water to which he replies, "you're at a party, live a little." I think about it for a second.  "You don't drink, and you're at a party."  He steps back closing the fridge. "Touché. But I think you need some lubrication, you're too stiff."  He emphasizes the words lubrication and stiff.  It almost makes it sound sexual.  "Okay, I'll have whatever you think I should have, you're the boss."  He quickly makes up a gin and tonic and hands it to me.  I swallow it down quickly.  The corners of his lips curl up.  "I'll have another please, less tonic though."  He makes the 2nd one and then guides me to the next room of the complex.

There are a few people scattered around but as if they know something I don't, they scurry off as soon as we walk into each room.  He points out the living room, some office space, and a bathroom.  Then we go back to the stairs and I follow him up watching his ass the entire time.

"I feel your eyes on me little girl, do you like what you see?"  I blush.  "Yeah, it's quite the view." I reply.  The alcohol has opened up my self confidence, otherwise I'd have never said that aloud.

He turns around quickly and looks me over once again, almost as if he's seeing me for the first time. Or maybe he is undressing me with his eyes. I can't handle it so I keep walking past him.

"Mmm, now I have a nice view." He states matter of fact once I'm in front of him. As soon as we both reach the top of the stairs he pushes me against the wall. He's much stronger than I think anyone gives him credit for. "What's going on inside of your head?" He asks while tilting his head this way and that. "You're quiet now, what happened to the bold little girl from 30 seconds ago?" I giggle. "Oh for fucks sake, it's just a number." But I'm still giggling. He releases me and opens a door to the right of us.

"This is a guest room." I peek in and see a bed and some artwork.  He closes the door and steps across the hallway. "This is my moms room when she comes." He points to a door but doesn't open it. And then he walks a few steps and opens another door and shows me the upstairs guest bathroom. Directly across from the bathroom door is another room and down the hall at the end is one more door. He opens the door next to the guest room and walks in.

"This is my bedroom. Come in, I'll show you the view." I walk in and see his bed made up in white linen. There's a door on one side of his bed leading to a closet which he opens. I see flashes of color everywhere I look and can tell most of it is designer, and almost all is Gucci.

"What's the other door down the hall lead to?" I ask since this appears to be our last stop. "Ohh that's just storage." I let it go because he clearly didn't want me to know what it could be, but I couldn't help but wonder why there was a light on in there. It was hardly visible through the crack in the door, maybe a lamp was on.

"Well, I'm impressed Jared. It's very nice. But why am I getting to see all of this?" I can't help but wonder how I became so lucky.

"You wear a costume to a party I am hosting-that only I would know what you are dressed as, and you didn't think my curiosity would be peaked?"

"I wore this yes because it was your party, but also because I didn't want to be like everyone else. I'm not made for wearing sexy nurse costumes." He starts laughing at my revelation. "Oh Delilah, you are most definitely made for sexy nurse or sexy anything costumes. You don't even realize how sexy you are. Even dressed this ridiculously." He reaches towards my head and takes the hat and wig off. He takes off the cape he is wearing and sits down on the bed.

"Sit down with me. I want to know more about you. Who is Delilah?" He slides back towards the headboard and pats the empty space next to him. I sit down but just on the edge, not sure how comfortable I should get, but he grabs me by the waist and guides me back. "So?"

"Well I lead a fairly boring existence, I don't want to disappoint you. Let's talk about something else." I can tell this wasn't the right answer so I continue, "okay well let's see. I am 32, I started an online store about two years ago selling homemade candles, incense, and soaps. Umm, I have a dog named Sorcia- you know from the movie Willow..." he nods. "I just bought a condo in Myrtle Beach, SC. Nothing special." Then I mumble almost inaudibly, "oh I also have a twin who I killed. Anyways, what about you."

Jared shakes his head and laughs. My face however remains deadpanned. "Wait that last bit... it's true?"

"Yeah, so anyway your turn." I try to change the subject.  I don't even know why I felt comfortable opening up and telling him that.

"Oh no, you don't get off that lightly.  What the fuck do you mean you killed your twin sister?"  He stands up and walks towards the window which overlooks the pool.  "Should I be worried, should I kick you out?"

"No, Jared. I'm not a psychopath, I'm not crazy, I don't even know why I told you."  I stand up and walk towards the door, but somehow even though he was further away he catches me and stops me.  His eyes are glaring at me and daring me to tell him more.  "Okay, I'll tell you the whole story.  You're gonna want to sit for this." He sits back down at the foot of the bed as I begin my story, pacing back and forth.

"Three years ago my twin Penelope was in an accident.  Somehow she survived but she was changed.  Like a switch in her brain had been triggered.  She became depressed and angry.  Then that turned into doing really odd things.  She'd offer people things, like for instance, my aunt had come over and she asked if she wanted ice cream... after she ate it my sister laughed and said she had poisoned it.  Or she'd bring people a book but the pages would be torn out.  Just really weird and vile things.  She just wasn't the same.  After months of doctors not knowing what was wrong and being tormented by her we thought it best to send her away.  Before we could she attacked me."  I show him the scar on my stomach where she had stabbed me.  His eyes go wide.  "She said I would never put her away, never separate us.  She intended I think to kill me and then herself.  I don't know how I overpowered her, but I did.  I got the knife and stabbed her several times.  I couldn't believe what I had done and I was so scared.  I had an anxiety attack and blacked out.  When I woke up there was so much blood.  Her body wasn't there, but when the cops came they said no one would survive that amount of blood loss.  They searched the woods and followed a trail of blood.  It ended at one point or another, but they never found her body.  They figured an animal must have found her and dragged her body away.  They thought maybe a bear.  Oh God, this is the worst thing I have ever done and no one here in LA apart from my friend downstairs knows this.  I'm so sorry Jared.  I'll leave now."  Jared rubs his hands up and down his thighs and shakes his head no.

"No, I don't want you to leave.  You're so brave.  Thanks for telling me.  We all have hidden skeletons in our closets.  You weren't charged with a crime, were you?"

"No, the police said it was in self defense."  I explained.

"You're hardly a murderer, Delilah.  You're a survivor and to me that is the hottest thing about you."  He stands up and closes the distance between us.  He stares into my eyes asking for permission and then crashes his lips on mine.  The room instantly goes from ice cold to boiling.  His hands are wrapped in my hair and he stops only long enough to take a breath, until we hear a noise.

It's coming from the room he said was just storage.  It sounded like something fell, maybe a box.  He laughs nervously and then leans forward to attack my lips again with his, but then there's another noise and it sounds like footsteps.  Annoyed he steps back and says, "hold on, someone from the party must have come upstairs.  Let me go tell them to fuck off and leave, okay?"  I agree and sit down on the bed.

He walks out.  I try to catch my breath.  I bring my fingers up to my lips and smile.  It was everything I'd have ever hoped and imagined.  My thoughts were broken when I heard a scream followed by Jared saying "what the hell is this? Who the hell are you?" And then another scream, a scuffle, and footsteps running towards his bedroom door.  The last thing I hear before the door opens is Jared yelling, "Delilah , run!"

[decepti-geek]

My dumbass Strictly Come Dancing AU masterpost

So Strictly finally featured a dance to Power of Love a while back! which meant that like a fool, I ran away and started earnestly working on a silly idea I’d been sitting on, and this is the result. Heavy on the cygate, with Rodimus and Minimus as accidental breakout stars, a LOT of Postmodern Jukebox music, and a veeeery haphazard work-in-progress playlist.

The point of this is basically to make people who watch the show giggle a bit, I guess, but also! If anyone has any idea of who would judge/host (cause I got nothin’), or even ideas for extra couples, PLEASE drop by my inbox, and ditto a thousand times over if anyone can think of new song/dance style pairings for any of the couples!!! I wanna Talk about this AU okay, it’s silly and fluffy and it’s been giving me joy for months and hopefully it’ll be fun for people who read it too.

Under a cut cause this got L O N G.

A couple of notes: I’m definitely moving musicals week to much earlier in the competition, since musicals are like, a good 25% of my overall music taste, which doesn’t translate well to only having four or so couples left at that point. And a note about who the minibots get paired with - I know actual Strictly tends to match for height, but I feel like in Cybertronian society that could be taken in… a variety of bad ways, not least perpetuating the idea of former disposables or similar only being allowed to dance with other disposables. So I figure with this one, the system’s a little different (also i just want my OTPs to dance together okay).

This is also, admittedly, more drama-filled than actual Strictly appears to the casual viewer, BUT I know the tabloids make much of the show even if I’m not a habitual tabloid reader.

(And I know I have a lot of charlestons in here, shush, it’s my favourite dance).

So! Thus far, the professional dancers/celebs I have outlined are:

Brainstorm - who, honestly, is basically Kevin. He’s willing to push things a bit further than the others with choreography and concepts, and sometimes he does push things a bit too far and they come out kinda weird to the judges (think the charleston to Cantina Band), but still adored by the popular vote. It makes for an interesting combination when he’s matched with serious, dedicated Jack-of-all-limelights Perceptor, who I see as being a bit like a reverse Brian Cox?? He started out well-known in the academic sector, then made it big as, idk, an actor (in the Mads Mikkelsen vein) and maybe a bit of modelling, and now he’s wound up here (I just realised that a lot of my celebs are more famous than the majority on Strictly tend to be, OH WELL).

They clash a LOT in initial rehearsals, but somewhere along the line Perceptor comes round enough to see that no, he did not get paired with the frivolous pro who doesn’t care about winning - Brainstorm just has a unique way of showing his love for his craft.

Also, you know how every year there's like, one lady pro who sprints over and full on leaps at her partner when he's revealed? Yeah, that's Brainstorm.

I’d like to think they make it to the semi-finals. And I desperately want to say that they have a dance to She Blinded Me With Science (cha cha cha maybe?). Kinda also want to steal Kevin's Doctor Who tango idea that he did this year. I think you could squeeze a quickstep out of End Of The World As We Know It, and then they've got two PMJ songs: a charleston to Final Countdown, and a foxtrot to I Believe In A Thing Called Love. ALSO HALLOWEEN JIVE TO TIME WARP I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH.

Tarn - who is here mostly so I can have him dance the paso doble to Phantom of the Opera with Pharma. These two are both suuuuper committed to the competitive aspect, enough that they’re willing to put aside their initial, rather drastic ideological differences, although the bickering does eventually eat away at their partnership. They get eliminated about midway through (though they do make it to the equivalent of Blackpool), and subsequently have a brief fling followed by a dramatic split that the tabloids eat up every last morsel of.

Other songs I can see them dancing to include a quickstep or American Smooth to Intermission by Scissor Sisters, a charleston to Crazy In Love (same arrangement as Kevin and Louise’s just, y’know, maybe not Harley/Joker themed), and maaaaybe their rumba is PMJ’s version of Toxic, with possibly a tango to Killer by the Hoosiers.

There’s added tension, too, in that - since I’m trying to look at the ‘celebrity’ aspect in the broader way Cybertronians might, as well - Pharma’s own main professional rival is competing this year alongside him.

Said rival being partnered with Drift, who’s been on the team of pro dancers long enough that he’s undergone something of a shift. It used to be that he got the younger, more… shall we say, visually appealing celebrity dancers, and he’d happily choreograph routines that oozed as much danger and/or sex appeal as the producers called for - to the ire of more than one watching conjunx endura. While he might once or twice have encouraged that to go further behind the scenes in his early days, he’s matured the longer he’s been in the business. Following a bit of a new-age spiritual journey between two seasons of the show, Drift has since come to be regarded as a friendly, experienced face for the not-quite-so-young, nervously inexperienced celebs, though the audience hasn’t exactly been quick to forget his past.

The decision to partner him with Ratchet (physician to the rich and powerful; philanthropist; unflappable, no-nonsense, complete and utter grump) is therefore met with some confusion. This was a calculated move on the part of the show’s producers, though - in the early days of Drift’s run with the series, he botched a lift and came down from it with a pretty impressive sprain. Sparing no expense for their most prized dancer at the time, the best of the best was called in to sort him out.

There was a disagreement in the treatment room, concerning the morality of Drift seducing his latest celebrity partner away from her conjunx, and the resulting shouting match passed into legend among the production crew, even if it was somehow prevented from being leaked to the public. The higher-ups are now capitalising on this, as the whole thing is sure to explode in some sort of direction, and they want the ratings boost that will result once it does.

Except… it never explodes. See, that confrontation with Ratchet was the first half of what led Drift to revise his behaviour. He'd started his dancing career young, with a string of agents, managers, what have you at the beginning encouraging him to believe that there's no such thing as bad publicity, and it didn't matter who he hurt along the way. The fact that someone famed for his straightforwardness and his principles - in a famously cutthroat environment - was now calling him up on that behaviour was enough to make Drift begin to question it. Throw in meeting Wing on a hiking holiday a few years down the line, after a shaky year of competitions and an unexpected early elimination from the show, and he's ready to really start bettering himself.

It showed, obviously, but never so much before now, where Drift is actively trying to prove that he took Ratchet’s words on board. Ratchet is… a little freaked out by the intensity of his conviction to do so, but they work through it and develop one of the strongest working relationships of any on the show.

It takes until after the show to become anything more than a working relationship, because they're both rather shy in their own ways, but when it finally does no one's really surprised anymore.

They definitely dance the jive to Bad Case of Loving You, and I'm entertaining the idea of a Halloween salsa to Jump In The Line from Beetlejuice mostly for the staging potential of the moving furniture, especially the rocking chair and all the jokes to be had from that. :D

And after LL 25… they’ve gotta dance to Easter Parade by Emmy the Great, it’s just perfect for them. I think it’d work best as a waltz, with some editing.

There’s also Skids, whose star rapidly rose and then stayed at the top, upon entering the competitive dancing scene. He was a quick study and he's also a decent teacher, so he gets matched with star comedian Swerve, who has veeeery little confidence in his ability. Although it’s not something he entirely gets over, at least enough to get them both more than halfway, it IS something he sticks at after leaving the competition, and he stays in touch with Skids as well.

Nobody’s ever really sure if their regular meetups post-series are dance lessons or ‘dance lessons.’ (Mostly because Skids is very, very skilled at flying under the radar).

And I d e s p e r a t e l y  want to steal Kellie Bright’s dance to Oom Pah Pah for these two, cause a Viennese waltz set in a tavern is perfect for Swerve.

Lug is one half of the inevitable married pro couple, and I weirdly like the idea of her being matched with Windblade? Not really got any ideas for them on the song front, other than maaaaaybe a charleston to Nowadays from Chicago? but I think they’d make it a good way into the proceedings - they seem like they’d get along well, and Windblade’s got a natural grace to her.

Lug’s wife and partner in crime dance is Anode, who has a similarly capable celebrity student, in celebrated scientist and author Nautica. Unfortunately, these two don’t quite get off on the best foot, and a lot of initial promise becomes a flash in the pan that quickly falls apart. Their routines and skill are still pretty memorable (barring the one bad week that ruined things), even if they don’t make it as far.

They charleston to Magnificent Men In Their Flying Machines because cmon. Nautica’s an engineer and Anode is a literal biplane.

Perhaps surprisingly, I’m chucking Whirl in here as a professional, too - a new hire for this year, viewed by the producers as a bit of a risk - paired up with renowned psychologist and amnesiac deity Rung. The idea I’m running with is that for Whirl, the dancing is basically an outlet post-empurata. It lets him exhaust himself physically and mentally, as long as he completely throws himself into it (and boy does he ever)... so that he can blunt the edge of the hurt he’s still got bottled up. And before he found this outlet, he had a chequered past to say the least, which the media capitalises on immediately, plunging the new guy into the spotlight. The new guy adamantly refuses to be a sob story, or the subject of inspiration porn, and smashes more than one camera to illustrate this point, so all the attention ends up veering towards the negative as a result.

Rung, though - Rung can see, more than anything, that Whirl still needs help, no matter how adamant he might be that he’s found his own balance. Rung’s in this to learn and have fun - and for his faults, Whirl is a decent teacher - but he can never ignore when he sees someone hurting. At first, the most he does is quietly stand up to any stray reporters who come hassling (with the patented I’m-not-mad-I’m-just-disappointed approach), but they do eventually develop a firm friendship, once Whirl realises he’s actually got someone on his side for once.

Rung himself is in a Bad position to do anything more, given that even the three weeks of initial training was time enough to develop something of a bond; so instead, he quietly slips Whirl the number of a younger associate: someone who, he assures Whirl, is coming from a place of experience - not all professional, but personal, too. It takes a while, because well, it’s Whirl, but there comes a point where he approaches Rung looking a little awkward, and thanks him - Krok’s been a great help.

As for the actual competition, Rung’s forgettability and Whirl’s new reputation work against them and they leave fairly early; but every subsequent week sees Rung in the audience to watch Whirl in the group numbers. They take absolutely aaaaaaaages after that to get their shit together, but by the time the next year rolls around, Rung’s position as audience support is official and constant, thanks to his ‘dating one of the pros’ status.

So far, I’ve only got two songs for them: a charleston to Caravan Palace’s cover of Black Betty, and a Viennese waltz to the Waltz of the Hours from Coppelia.

There’s also Jazz, who’s something of a legend even among the pros, mostly for his seeming ability to match up to even the very greatest of pressures. It’s something that’s seen him through to multiple finals over the years, and this year should be no exception…

… Were it not for the slight snag in that Mirage, a Towers noble, is our That One Celebrity; who the public perceive to have had just a bit too much prior dance experience for the competition to be entirely fair. And he’s Jazz’s partner.

I see Mirage being picked on particularly because the Towers upbringing probably does involve some kind of formal dance training. So these two are really, really good, but that unfortunately means they’re just a bit too good for what’s supposed to be a half-amateur contest. A low public vote and a bad dance-off sees them eliminated just shy of the semi-final.

I really can’t explain why, but I’m fixated on the idea of their charleston being a Halloween one, to Remains of the Day from Corpse Bride, and they could have maybe a quickstep (??) to Oh My My by Summer Kennedy (thanks Clara!). They also have the dubious honour of being the only couple I've found a samba song for: another PMJ one, which is Such Great Heights. (I Dislike sambas in general cause they seem so tricky and clunky most of the time, but if anyone can pull one off it’s these two).

And then, Primus love him, there’s Soundwave, who is possibly more experienced, talented and capable than any other pro in the competition, past or present (though Jazz, despite being his usual partner, would dispute that).

Which, of course, means he gets signed up to coach the complete and utter duds. Shockwave was never really going to get far in this, being a former Senator of questionable popularity, and, as Whirl would put it, the token empurata victim. That's all before the fact that he's just… really crap at dancing. Soundwave does his best, but he doesn't exactly have much to work with, and they're eliminated second week. As poor Soundwave has sadly become a bit accustomed to over the years.

In a similar boat for the first time this year is Knock Out - which, at least at first, he is none too pleased about. The guy he gets matched with is technically an athlete - but endurance and strength have never exactly been the mainstream focus of Cybertronian sport, even if they're what Breakdown has in spades.

He also has plenty of enthusiasm and a very earnest desire to try, that Knock Out can't help but be charmed by, even if it's not enough to get them more than about four weeks in. I think it'd be really sweet if these two had an American Smooth to Wouldn't It Be Lovely from My Fair Lady.

Someone who's had a mostly-friendly rivalry with Knock Out while they've both been on the show is Rodimus, who's in that same flashy, pretty vein along with Drift (his professional partner, incidentally), but who's been willing basically from the get-go to take on whoever he needs to season by season.

In short, he's a bit of a wild card, and this year he's been handed the younger (and less famous) of the Ambus brothers. The problem in this particular case is Minimus’ chronic, painful stage fright. Dominus, in his misguided wisdom, thought trial by fire would be good for him, and laid on the peer pressure until Mims agreed, but he is very much a fish out of water at first, and it shows.

The thing is, though - most of his mistakes are a result of nerves, rather than lack of talent. The judges do comment on his natural poise during the traditional ballroom numbers, and for all that Roddy acts dumb, he's shrewd enough to work gradually on bringing Minimus out of his shell, often taking advantage of Mims’ intense focus during rehearsals.

Because he might be shaky on the performance front, but Minimus Ambus has never been known for shoddiness in his work, and doesn’t plan to start now. And Roddy uses that to his advantage - he’ll sneak in extra moves mid-week, while they’re running through a routine, and Minimus will be stood there at the end of it, having just managed something he was obviously capable of, but never would’ve imagined he could be.

A few weeks in, and he’s thriving.

Dance-wise, I'd say definitely a jive to Don’t Stop Me Now, and I like the idea of them having Rebel Rebel for their paso. I want them to make it to the final just so Rodimus can choreograph a showdance to Dare (because try as I might, I just Cannot make it fit one of the usual dance styles. Roddy’s probably had it saved up as the song he WILL showdance to in his first final). I'm thinking as well, an American Smooth to Grace Kelly by Mika cause it honestly fits them really nicely, AND Lost Coastlines could work as a quickstep song I reckon, so let's give it to the first and second in command of the LL! Idk if I Do Adore by Mindy Gledhill has quite the right tempo for a foxtrot, but I think even if it needs a bit of tweaking it’d be really nice. And another potentially really random one, but: charleston to You Give A Little Love from Bugsy Malone (for musicals week?).

Also, they totally cha cha (or maybe salsa?) to Does Your Mother Know, specifically the Christine Baranski version (and they do the Leg Thing from the scene in the movie, you know the one).

As coincidence would have it, Minimus’ own brother-in-law is also a celebrity contestant this year! Rewind has gone from Ambus arm candy to acclaimed filmmaker/journalist in his own right, and for his stint on Strictly he's been paired up with Chromedome. This guy has managed to get himself the nickname ‘Unlucky’, on account that he's fallen in love and subsequently into relationships with not one but three of his previous celebrity partners. There was never any cheating or anything otherwise untoward involved, but things always seemed to end within a year, leaving Chromedome heartbroken and never really up to his best in the show following each breakup. This should have been one such year - after Pivot - except that his new partner is so very sharp and exuberant and just plain magnetic that poor Domey finds himself drawn in regardless.

And I say poor Domey, because as mentioned above, Dominus Ambus is alive and kicking, not to mention in the audience every weekend.

Things get even more complicated when Rewind realises he’s also kinda interested in his new partner - possibly responding to Chromedome’s own feelings, no matter how hard he tries to hide them. They attract more than their fair share of judgemental social media comments, both as a result of things the tabloids dig up and from people speculating that they have a little too much chemistry on the dancefloor. Eyes are also, obviously, on Dominus each week, and he seems oddly impassive about the whole thing - but then, he always has been very guarded about his private affairs. It’s generally assumed that things will come to a head between him and Rewind soon enough, though.

Songs include a salsa to Faster by Matt Nathanson and - is it too on the nose for them to waltz to Memory during musicals week? I also want their charleston to be the PMJ cover of Chasing Pavements.

And this is soooooooooo cheesy, but I really want their rumba to be Unfaithful by Rihanna. THAT one gets a load of media attention, and it's the week following that they bow out instead of allowing the usual elimination process to go ahead.

The twist comes a couple of weeks later, after the media storm has died down; it gets stirred right back up again the moment a photo surfaces of Rewind and Dominus leaving a screening of Rewind’s latest hit… each of them holding one of Chromedome’s hands.

Some say that the reason Chromedome’s partners tended to leave him (until now) has something to do with his continued association/professional partnership with Prowl: a very old flame, but more importantly, a one-mech embodiment of the Strictly Curse.

This guy is a mess, and he gets everywhere: as well as Chromedome, it’s rumoured he was involved with Jazz at one point, and then there’s the assorted flings with his celebrity partners, including the two-year period where he made his way through both members of the same band who signed up for the show in succession... as well as the other four who didn’t.

He’s scary good technically though, and more than a little merciless, so no matter his reputation he usually manages to push his partners quite far into the competition. This year’s offering is scientist Tarantulas, who’s another bit of token representation, for the beastformers this time (my imaginary Cybertronian broadcasting network is apparently not the most progressive).

There’s no polite way to put this: I imagine they’re at each other almost immediately. Both very sharp, and driven, and inventive, and what begins as a glorious meeting of minds in initial training, ends in a quest for the nearest store cupboard. It’s not the most stable of arrangements - sure, Tarantulas is utterly smitten with Prowl’s vision and determination, but Prowl often struggles reining him in and getting him to knuckle down, and tends to resort to leaning a bit too heavily on the personal side of their relationship to get what he wants.  As with Ratchet and Drift, everyone’s on tenterhooks waiting for things to blow up, but somehow they actually reach the final. How long they’ll last beyond that is anyone’s guess.  

These guys have quite a few songs already. Paso to Poison by Alice Cooper (for Halloween week no less, it begins with Prowl trussed up on a giant fake web, and Tarantulas descending from the ceiling in fine accordance with Strictly tradition), jive to Jailhouse Rock, and their rumba is the PMJ cover of Blank Space, it's a Prowl song, fight me.

Also I'd like to think they could manage, like, a foxtrot to Viva La Vida but don't quote me on that. I also like the idea of a tango to Control by Halsey? And they don't have a musicals song yet so now I wanna chuck in a waltz to Sibella from Gentleman's Guide to Love and Murder since that's my current obsession.

Elsewhere we have one of the younger dancers, who's been actively mentored by Prowl and has a not-so-friendly rivalry with Rodimus… Getaway!!! (Professional partner: Skids).

He actually goes out in the first week, bless him, through no fault of his own, as for some reason the producers saw fit to match him with Thunderclash. Predictably, this was an unmitigated disaster, and for the PR team it's even more of a problem, as one of the biggest names of this season has been kicked off before the show’s had a chance to begin - apparently, the routine was so bad that even Thunderclash’s fame wasn't enough to save him. For Getaway, it means that he's now hanging around at a bit of a loose end, since he still has to be there for the group numbers. Which gives him plenty of time to cause problems for…

Last but by no conceivable means least, Tailgate! When he joins the professional troupe he seems quite naive and childish, to the point that he’s not exactly taken seriously at first (for anyone who watches the show, think how AJ and his partners get a lot of high school/teen romance themed dances despite him being in his 20s).

THEN in this current series, who should come along but an unlikely celebrity entrant who Tailgate just so happens to be a MASSIVE fan of. Cyclonus is a singer of a… somewhat acquired taste, who’s been talked into this by his agent and is frankly dreading the latin dancing but can manage a tolerable waltz from the get-go. Being the aforementioned huge fan, Tailgate sweet-talks and pulls a few strings behind the scenes to get paired up with someone other than his usual ‘youngest celeb in the competition’.

As is the format of the show, Cyclonus doesn’t find out who his partner is until the ‘introduction’ episode; he’d been hoping for someone experienced and dependable, like Soundwave, so when he finds out the result he has misgivings to say the least. Tailgate by contrast is over the moon (that his scheme worked), and it definitely shows. That nets Cyclonus a bit of negative attention right out of the gate - he’s here looking all stoic and uptight and serious while Tailgate’s practically bouncing with joy, and words like ‘ungrateful’ and ‘stuck up’ get floated around social media a lot. (Although his painfully awkward expressions do become a bit of an ongoing meme).

(The expressions thing is also a problem during performances cause like, the whole serious, intense semi-glare works perfectly for a tango or a paso, but that shit will not fly in a waltz or a cha cha, and boy do the judges let him know it).

Tailgate, for his part, is a little surprised to discover how very reticent Cyclonus is, even in rehearsals. He’s dedicated enough to learning the routines, and quite adept at the performance aspect mostly thanks to his already strong connection to music, but trying to get even a word of small talk out of him is like trying to get blood from a stone. Tailgate takes it in his stride though, and chatters enough for two people to compensate.

It doesn’t take him long to suss out that Cyclonus isn’t entirely happy to be here, and he responds to that in a similar way, scheduling in little things to do together in their breaks and taking care at first not to push Cyclonus too far outside his comfort zone choreography-wise. He also, slightly misguidedly, tries to encourage the idea of them hanging out with his own professional partner… said partner, unfortunately, being Whirl, who manages to get right up Cyclonus’ nose.

(Those two have more success hitting it off when Cyclonus walks outside on a break, only to witness Whirl tearing the latest loitering photographer a new one. From there, it’s a weird kind of forged-in-strife bond, as they realise they’re about the only two people in these studios who actively flee media attention when it appears).

(Cyclonus has found some kind of storeroom that he uses as a bolt-hole in the event of said unwanted attention; Whirl absolutely sniffs said bolt-hole out, and proceeds to mercilessly bug him on his breaks).

Obviously, Cyclonus can’t fail to be touched by Tailgate’s efforts, and his easy kindness - though again, obviously, he’d never admit it. And thus begins the saga of the judges’ glowing comments, week by week, on Cyclonus’ performance skills (despite the face) and the evident chemistry they have while they’re dancing… only for Cyclonus to clam right the fuck up the moment the music stops. The way he acts during the rehearsal segments says a lot, though, even if he barely speaks during them.

Basically, they’re the couple where my mum would be watching them shrewdly each week, nodding and going “He’s head over heels, look.” and we, her dense af family, would reply “You what???”

So this whole thing continues to (very) slowly gather momentum for several weeks until.... Enter Getaway!! Who is salty that not only was he eliminated so very quickly, but also that literally all of the press attention went to Thunderclash, leaving him hanging around completely uselessly until next year. He decides to worm his way back into the limelight by stirring up some Drama, and sets his sights on poor Tailgate as his target.

What he doesn’t expect, however (and neither does Cyclonus really) is that his meddling almost pushes Cyclonus to quit the competition altogether - not feeling like he deserves or has anything to offer to Tailgate, but also unwilling to stay and watch all this bullshit unfold, especially now that the media’s caught wind of it. Unfortunately, Cyclonus’ misgivings get into the rumour mill somehow, and by the time Tailgate hears about them, his partner has apparently already handed in his notice. He then drops Getaway like a hot potato and goes running off to quit himself (because really, these two are both disasters), and it’s up to Whirl to drag Cyclonus out of the storeroom where he’s been brooding and get these two to actually talk, goddammit!

Aaaaaaand once that’s sorted, they’re still terribly awkward about pretty much everything. But! They’re getting there!!! By the time they reach the semi-final they’re the centre of plenty of gossip, though there’s no proof of anything yet as Whirl is being fucking militant about keeping non-show cameras away from their studio. It’s in the week following that someone finally gets a photo of them: on a break, sat outside, Cyclonus kissing Tailgate’s hands.

Dances! Cha cha to Power Of Love, obviously, since that's what kicked this whole thing off. (Am I a terrible person if they jive to Only The Good Die Young?) Then there's a charleston to Boyfriend by Lou Bega, a salsa to I Want You Back, and a rumba to the PMJ version of Jolene, all choreographed post-Getaway.

And I am VERY excited because I've realised they could waltz to Love Like You. They'd also have a Viennese waltz to No One Else from Great Comet in musicals week, and I like the idea of a tango to Devil’s Backbone, and a paso to Coat of Arms by Jonathan Thulin. And possibly an Argentine tango to La Llrona, if it was arranged the way it is in Coco (“Alas, Llrona in sky blue”, I have to, guys. I have to) .

ALSO I'm going to cheat and say that Power Of Love is just one of their regular week dances, since it isn't just from a movie, as I also want a foxtrot to Beauty and the Beast because a) it’s perfect for them and b) mandatory A Day Or Forever reference.

They make it to the final, and showdance to Shrike by Hozier. AND because I am the creator of this au and My Word Is God, I’m hereby declaring that they end up as the winners. So there. :p

And congrats to anyone who actually made it this far!!!! As I said above, please send me ideas for songs, judges, anything, really! :D

[siriuslymoon]

May I request 89 for ThorBruce? I love your writing btw ❤️

Thank you so much! Of course you can 💕💕 89. We’re having a movie night and you fell asleep so in confessed my love to you and what do you mean you’re awake?

-

Bruce was not prepared for a social interaction.

And while that statement could be used to sum up his entire existence, on this particular evening it was referring to an avengers movie night.

Tony was still hell bent on introducing Steve and Thor to ‘all the classics’ and everyone else had just been lured in with snacks and comfy sofas.

Bruce liked his friends, he did, and he liked spending time with them- but he was close to finishing a project and every second that he spent away from the lab filled him with guilt and an over all feeling of unease.

So when he stumbled into the kitchen, lab coat singed and overall appearance in disarray; the last thing he needed was to be hauled into a five hour film event.

“I just,” he pointed over at the machine “I just came for coffee”

But Tony shook his head, “cmon Bruce we’ve got a full house tonight, you can’t be the only one left out” he wrapped his fingers around Bruce’s wrist and began to pull him towards the sofas.

Bruce noticed the only available seat would be next to thor and stilled.

He hadn’t showered for a few days and he currently smelt like burning cloth and various chemicals, something he didn’t feel like wafting up the nose of the guy he was crazy about.

“Can I um- can i at least change?” He gestured to his ruined appearance, and tony was about to say he looked fine when Thor cut in.

“Bruce should be comfortable if he is to fully enjoy the movies” everyone nodded and the blonde sent him a small wink, accompanied by a soft smile; Bruce didn’t know which made his heart stop first but either way he couldn’t breathe.

“I guess- alright you’ve got the minutes til we start without you” Tony threw himself down next to steve in the sofa and stole a handful of popcorn.

Bruce began to grin causing Tony to quickly cough around his popcorn and wave his arms.

“No! Bad wording- ten minutes until I come get you and drag you in here” he smiled at the correction and Bruce nodded, turning and heading for his room, doing everything he could to ensure he didn’t trip as he walked out.

He showered quickly using as much scented body wash as his hands could hold, roughly drying his hair afterwards so that it wasn’t dripping down his torso but leaving it damp enough to avoid frizz. He pulled out a sweater he didn’t know he had and a pair of sweat pants, before evaluating himself in the mirror.

His damp curls hung round his face and the sweater slipped from his neck and dangled past his hands, the sweatpants hugging tight in places and sitting looser in others.

He shrugged, and headed back out to the living room, happy to see the seating arrangements hadn’t changed.

“See? Told you he’d be back. And aw bruce you look adorable” tony pointed to where the grey knit skimmed his finger tips and Bruce flushed, mumbling a thank you and scurrying Over to Thor’s side.

The man was warm, even sat at a distance Bruce could feel the waves of heat rolling off him, mixing with his natural scent of rain water and rich royal spices to create a tangible aura.

Bruce leaned in closer, damp hair brushing Thor’s dry jumper, the cotton soaking up the moisture immediately.

“What are we watching?” He adjusted his glasses, smiling lazily at Thor, choking when he returned it.

Thor leant in closer to reply, “I believe we are watching time travellers”

Bruce nodded, turning to see Tony mouth ‘back to the future’

They started the movie, Bruce shuffling to sit as comfortably as he could next to Thor, ignoring the constant hammering in his heart and pulling his knees to his chest; sock covered toes stretched across the free space beside him.

He enjoyed listening to Thor laugh every few minutes, or gasp at the crucial points. It painted a natural smile on Bruce’s face and worked to relax him.

He made it through one film, blinking heavily every few minutes to try and force away the tiredness overcoming him. But when everyone yelled for the next one to be put on he sighed; not wanting to seem like a kill joy he sat there and tried his hardest to stay awake.

But he had gravitated closer to Thor throughout the first film, and the gods steady breathing worked as a lullaby that had Bruce off to sleep within minutes.

No one noticed at first, not until Bruce’s position fell and he slumped against the gods shoulder, inching over into his chest- Thor’s arm immediately curling around him to steady him.

“Should we wake him?” Steve asked, everyone’s eyes now on the sleeping scientists, face so relaxed in slumber it had them all smiling.

“No- he doesn’t get enough sleep. Just turn the volume down a little” Thor told them, pleased when they took his instructions and went back to watching the film.

But Thor couldn’t bring himself to look back at the screen, finding the man in his lap much more interesting.

He moved to take off Bruce’s glasses and brush a curl from his face, laughing softly when He twitched and scrunched his nose up before breathing out and burrowing deeper intoThor’s chest.

Thor ran his hand up and down the mans back following the lines of his spine, finding comfort in the steady rhythm of his breaths, the gentle fluttering of his eyelashes as he dreamt luring the confession out of him.

“You’re so beautiful” the declaration slipped past his lips, his friends too engrossed in the movie and each other to notice.

But Bruce noticed.

He had began to wake up after someone sneezed, and when he heard thor talk he froze, focusing on keeping his breathing even and his eyes shut.

But then Thor was playing his his hair, fingertips grazing his scalp and letting his curls loop around his fingers.

His breath caught in his chest, heart building with the urge to scream but he did not move.

“You’re so smart, so wonderfully smart” Thor’s hand move this his cheek, cupping his face and running a calloused thumb over his cheekbone.

“I’m so in love with you Bruce” he whispered, not even sounding like he meant to say it, as though it was no natural to him, but then quickly finding comfort in the mans unconscious state and knowing that he couldn’t hear him

Except he did.

“You what?”

Thor screamed, the sound ripping from his throat and causing everyone’s hearts to thud uncomfortably.

“Jesus point break, this isn’t a scary movie!” Tony cursed, hand resting over his chest.

Bruce sat up, wiping sleep from his eyes and watching his friends calm down.

“Ahhh dude you woke up Bruce” Clint sighed, scowling lightly at Thor.

“My apologies” Thor mumbled before excusing himself and running from the room.

Why did Bruce say anything, why couldn’t he have just stayed quiet- let thor have his moment.

“I’m gonna head to bed if you guys don’t mind, enjoy your movie” he made sure to blink slowly, and move as though sleep still plagued his body; when in reality he had adrenaline thrumming through his body and had never felt quite so awake.

They muttered a chorus of “nights” and “later’s” and Bruce hurried from the room.

“Jarvis where did Thor go?” Bruce asked, waiting for the reply.

“Mr Odinson is currently on the rooftop, and when asked if he wished to be disturbed- he said he did not”

Bruce nodded, making his way to the rooftop entrance, and finding the door locked.

“I told you” Bruce grinned and how much of an attitude Jarvis could have at times, the whole thing screaming Tony.

“Open the door Jarvis”

“But he-“

“I’ll tell Tony that you let steve in after their fight despite him telling you to lock all the doors” Bruce retorted, smirking to himself and at Jarvis.

“Sir was being a stubborn fool” came the reply, to which Bruce said “and so am I- open it up buddy”

He swear he heard a sigh as the door clicked open, and Jarvis wished him good luck.

Bruce found Thor on one of the chairs Tony had put out there, over looking the sky, the odd bit of stray lighting running through the sky.

“I thought you were asleep” Thor told him, not needing to turn around to know Bruce was stood behind him.

“I was,” bruce nodded “I think Clint sneezed- it woke me up”

It was Thor’s turn to nod.

“I apologise if i have made you uncomfortable, I will leave promptly and forever carry the horrible burden of knowing I caused the destruction of our friendship” his voice was low and heavy, the sky clouding over as he spoke.

“Woah, wait what? Thor I’m not mad at you!” Bruce moved closer, sitting beside him on one of the chairs, though the god still refused to look at him.

“Did you mean it?” Bruce asked, and Thor’s features contorted “why on Midgard would I lie?”

Bruce deflated “I don’t know..”

“Even unconscious- I’d never lie to you bruce I hoped you’d know that” Thor looked sad again, heart broke at the thought of Bruce not trusting him.

Without thinking Bruce grabbed Thor’s hands, squeezing them in his own smaller ones as he rushed out “I do trust you! With my life, I do. I just- didn’t think you’d feel like that”

“Why ever not?” Thor raised an eyebrow, finally looking at Bruce, though now that his gaze was on him Bruce kind of wished he’d look away.

“Because,” he laughed “I’m me and you’re- god Thor you’re… well a god for one thing. And you’re the sweetest person I’ve ever known, no matter how harshly any world treats you you’re always smiling and you make me smile and you’re stunning and…. and you deserve better Thor. You deserve someone like you- if anyone else that perfect even exists”

Thor laughed.

“Why are you midgardians so caught up on what people deserve? Do you think I deserve to be happy?” Thor asked, moving so that his hands cupped Bruce’s instead”

“Of course”

“Then let me be happy with you, you who is just as perfect, more so if anything”

Thor grinned, so wide and bright that Bruce had to look away for a moment to catch his breath.

Until Thor tilted his head up to look at him, an eyebrow raised in question, a question Bruce answered with a nod and then he felt Thor’s smile pressed against his own.

And if Bruce caught an explosion of lighting across the sky before his eyes fluttered shut, well then he must just be imagining things.