#code vein lex

[sugarskullserenade]

Messing around on Code Vein with my boyfriend will always be fun

[eliemo]

A Match Into Water

Summary: He could hold out for a few minutes. Just a few more minutes. The team would track them down and Flash would be there in seconds to pull Batman out of the water and get Superman out of his chains. Any minute now.

TW for kidnapping, drowning, poison, implied character death, watching someone die, fake death, and Lex Luthor. This one's kinda heavy gang so just be safe

The rattling of chains came to an abrupt halt, the fight leaving Clark in an instant, frozen in place as soon as the back door slid open in a blur of motion.

 His heart stopped, the next heaving breath caught in his throat as Lex Luthor stepped aside to reveal what his men had gone to retrieve, a sickening glint of excitement in his eyes. 

“Luthor,” he warned, wishing his voice came out stronger, anything but the rapidly weakening plea. “Don’t do this. This is between you and me. Let him go.” 

He gave his restraints another tug, a bit more frantic than he’d been for the last hour, but the chains held steady, securely bolted to the ceiling. He could practically feel the Kryptonite seeping into his veins, slowly sapping him of his powers and strength, leaving him strung up and helpless.

They weren’t budging, and Clark was coming to the sickening realization that Lex had set them up like this deliberately, Superman alone on one end of the room, watching the others move across from him. 

A spectator’s seat. 

This had been intentional, leaving him just strong enough to keep himself upright, to stay awake and aware. Lex had known he’d refuse to give up the codes to the Watchtower, refuse to put the League and countless innocent civilians in danger. 

And now he had Batman presented at the other end of the room, dumped unceremoniously onto the floor, well out of Superman’s reach. 

This had all been planned. He’d captured Batman long before he’d captured Superman. Trying to bargain had only been for show, to lure Clark into a false sense of control, and Clark had fallen for it, unshakably confident in the knowledge that he would be the only one in danger, the only one hurt. He could hold out for his team, he always could.

Lex was always smarter than they gave him credit for. 

“Luthor-” 

“I don’t need Kryptonite to break you, Superman,” Lex said, a sickly calm to his tone. “I’m only going to ask you one more time. I need those Watchtower security codes, and we both know our friend here won’t give them up.” 

He tore his gaze away as Lex jerked his chin to the struggle happening at his feet, lips curling in disgust. Clark was going to be sick. 

It took four men to hold Batman down, even with his hands cuffed behind his back and his ankles tied tight together with rope. Bruce thrashed and bucked under their weight pressing him into the cold hard floor, snarling and glaring under his battered cowl, the black leather of the mask stained with dark red blood. Clark doubted it was his own. 

“Hold him still,” Lex snapped, and Clark could do nothing but watch as Luthor’s metal boot collided with Bruce’s skull with an awful clunk, the Bat’s fight momentarily coming to a stop before weakly picking back up. “Don’t fight, Batman. Or I’ll fill this room with so much Kryptonite our friend here won’t be alive to see what I have planned for you.” 

And just like that Bruce went perfectly still, only lifting his head just enough to meet Clark’s eyes across the room, his gaze hard and unwavering. 

He wished he shared his friend’s talent for staying so perfectly composed and unreadable under pressure. Clark felt like he was being held underwater, throat tight, pressure wrapped tight around his chest. 

Maybe it was just the Kryptonite eating away at his powers, slow and steady. 

But Lex was rounding on him again, leaving Batman pinned to the ground with blood dribbling down his chin, and Clark took a steadying breath. He was still the Man of Steel. Even in a room laced with Kryptonite, he was still Superman. He was going to get them both out of this. 

Before Clark could find his voice one of Luthor’s thugs struck at the back of Bruce’s head and another swung a boot at his ribs, the attack sudden enough that it managed to pull a pained grunt from Batman’s lips, his bared teeth stained red like a wounded animal. 

“Hey!” Clark’s voice sounded small to his own ears, nowhere near his usual bravado, and the outburst got him an amused eyebrow raise from Lex. “Leave him alone! He was cooperating!” 

“Hardly,” Lex sneered, but he raised a hand to signal a stop to the beating regardless. “These gentlemen I’ve hired happen to be from Gotham. Old Arkham inmates, actually. You can imagine they have a… personal vendetta against your friend here.” 

“He has nothing to do with this,” Clark said, heart leaping into his throat. They hadn’t gone to remove Bruce’s cowl, either a show of good faith from Luthor or- more likely- someone had tried and quickly become acquainted with the suit’s new security system. Clark had seen that electric shock knock a grown man off his feet. “You have me, Luthor. That’s what you want, isn’t it? Let him go.” 

“Call it insurance,” Lex said, pacing the distance between Bruce and Clark, hands clasped behind his back. “I’m making this very simple for you. Give me the Watchtower codes, or I’ll kill your friend.” 

“Superman,” Batman barked, sharp voice ringing clear across the empty laboratory. “Don’t you dare.” 

Clark turned to him, helpless, swallowing against the dread rising in his throat. He was losing his composure, falling apart at the seams, but Bruce just blinked at him, piercing blue gaze steady and cold, always enough to hold them both together. 

And Clark had known Bruce long enough to hear the unspoken words in his glare. Don’t do this. Don’t give them up for me. Do not put their blood on my hands. Please. 

Bruce would never forgive him for giving up. And, Clark reminded himself, he was still Batman. He always had a plan. Lex Luthor would not be what got in between Bruce and his mission. 

He nodded, chest tightening at the way Bruce visibly relaxed, and turned back to Lex, fighting to keep his face impassive. Controlled and unbothered. He knew it was useless. “You know I can’t do that.” 

Luthor didn’t look surprised, matching Superman’s response with equal nonchalance. “Fine. Have it your way.” 

The next moment happened in a horrifying blur, Clark feeling almost disconnected from his own body as he watched everything happen around him in what felt like slow motion, distantly aware of Bruce’s eyes locked onto his, a weak tether to keep him grounded.

Lex snapped his fingers and the back door opened again, two more of Lex’s henchmen stepping into the room carrying… something in between them. It looked like a metal container, barely a few feet in length and width. The container was set down in front of Batman, the metal meeting the cement floors with a heavy thud, and Clark could see the gears turning in Bruce’s head, eyes glazing over with something he couldn’t quite get a read on. 

The henchmen started moving, pacing the room for supplies under Lex’s watchful eye, and the anticipation left Clark restless, weakly pulling at his chains again. 

It wasn’t until the sound of rushing water filled the room, a long green hose now hooked up to the far wall, that ice cold realization began to settle in Clark’s gut. 

“Luthor,” he called, hating the uneasiness seeping into his tone so easily. “What are you doing? Luthor!” 

Lex didn’t respond, but Clark had a pretty good idea of where this was going when the billionaire stepped aside, allowing his men to drape the hose over the side of the container, filling it to the brim. 

Bruce, to his credit, didn’t react to the commotion around him. Not in a way that would be visible to anyone who didn’t know him, anyway. But Clark had known Batman for years now. Bruce was a heartbeat Superman could pick out in a crowd without any effort, the steady rhythm as familiar to him as his own. Clark could see the way he held himself tense, jaw clenched, something like uncertainty flickering in blue eyes. 

And Clark couldn’t even move an inch closer. 

The container was filled, the room still and quiet as the henchmen hurried back out of the room like they’d never been there in the first place, leaving Batman to be manhandled to his knees by the Gotham thugs, Lex taking a careful step back when Bruce bared his teeth again. 

Everything moved with a synchronized precision, like this was just another experiment, something they were trained to carry out without a hint of remorse. 

Like the room didn’t carry the air of watching a man being led to the gallows. 

Nobody spared Clark another glance, no matter how much he struggled or how loud he screamed. It was like he wasn’t even here. Like Lex knew he wouldn’t look away. Batman kept trying to look in his direction, his glances almost frantic, but it was impossible to hold his gaze for long with the way he was being yanked around. 

Luthor waited until Batman was thoroughly pinned, the men keeping him hovered over the water, before striding dangerously close, and something fierce and protective sparked to life in Clark’s chest. 

“I’m sure you think you have something up your sleeve, Batman.” He reached out a hand, and Clark felt sick from something far more than just the Kryptonite chains when Lex delicately traced the ears of the cowl, fingers eventually moving to rest almost gently on the top of the mask. He didn’t miss the way Bruce twitched, unable to move away. “So I’ll reiterate. Try anything, and I flood this room with enough Kryptonite to kill Superman in seconds.” 

And then, before Clark could so much as scream, Lex grabbed the back of Bruce’s neck and plunged his head underwater. 

“No!” 

Bruce didn’t even fight, motionless under the hands holding him down, and Clark realized that it didn’t matter whether Lex had been bluffing or not. Bruce wouldn’t take that chance, not when Clark’s life was on the line. Any escape plan was off the table.

This wasn’t happening. This couldn’t be happening. This was not how Bruce was going down, Clark knew him better than that. He had a backup plan, a way out, an idea forming in that brilliant head, he always did. He always did. 

Where the hell was the League? 

It wasn’t until Bruce started to thrash, bound hands curling into fists behind his back, that the reality began to fully settle in, panic rising to something suffocating. 

There was no backup plan. There was no one coming. There was no escape. And Batman was drowning- Bruce was drowning just a few yards away, and there wasn’t a damn thing Clark could do about it. 

With nothing else to do but pull thrash desperately in his restraints and fight to see through his blurry vision, Superman found himself spiraling, frantically trying to piece together a solution, an idea, anything. 

How long can Batman hold his breath? Longer than a normal human, Clark was sure of that. Bruce prepared for every possible scenario, trained his body to go past its limits, pushing himself to the brink night after night. 

He could hold out for a few minutes. Just a few more minutes. The team would track them down and Flash would be there in seconds to pull Batman out of the water and get Superman out of his chains. 

Any minute now. 

Batman’s thrashing was growing desperate, armor crashing against the side of the metal tub with his flailing, and the goons were clearly struggling to hold him down as the Bat’s body fought on instinct alone, his will for survival always his greatest weapon. They were sitting on his legs now, leaning all their weight into his back, forcing him deeper into the water. 

Clark had lost his super hearing long ago, the chains sapping him of his powers one by one. He couldn’t hear Bruce’s heartbeat anymore, but he could still hear the muffled, garbled noises coming from his friend, Batman fighting for every last bit of oxygen being ripped away from him. 

It couldn’t have even been three minutes before the water started to bubble, Bruce’s mouth forced open in a desperate breath for air he couldn’t have, and Clark just barely heard the choking, painful scream from underwater. 

“Luthor!” Any resolve he might have had, any act of defiance or honor or pride or loyalty to anything other than the man being killed right in front of him was gone. Superman might have held on, for the greater good. But right now, all that was left was Clark Kent. “Luthor, let him go! I’ll give you anything you want, just leave him alone! Please!” 

Luthor had removed his hand, stepping back to let the thugs have their way after the first few seconds, and he hadn’t once turned to watch the scene unfolding beside him, his eyes now only for Superman, a dangerous glow of triumph on his face. “You had your chance.” 

“Lex please.” He didn’t care that he was begging. It didn’t matter. “You’re killing him! Luthor!” 

“I did warn you, Superman.” 

“Lex!” 

There was an awful ringing in his ears, the world going gray and eerily silent as he pried his gaze away from Luthor and refocused on the scene in front of him.

If he made it out of this alive, no matter the outcome, Clark knew that image would be scarred in his head forever, replaying every time he shut his eyes. Bruce, roughly draped over the edge of the metal tub, head forced under the water, his desperate fight for life slowly dying down. 

“Batman!” he screamed again, like it would make a difference. Like Bruce could hear him. Like Clark could still save him. “Let him go! Please. Please, just let him breathe, please! Get off of him!” 

But no one was paying him any attention. The goons hadn’t glanced up once, sadistic grins never faltering as they held the Bat under, cackling excitedly amongst themselves as his struggles finally came to a stop. Lex just kept staring, smiling in the face of Superman’s desperation like he couldn’t even hear his pleads. 

Bruce went limp, but still nobody moved to pull him back to the surface. One of them shoved him in further, a hand fisted in the back of his cowl, and Clark saw red. 

It felt like an eternity before Batman was finally yanked out of the water, time moving in slow motion, the goons discarding his soaking wet form on the ground like a pile of trash. 

Get up, Clark thought, bile rising in his throat, the world spinning dangerously out of control. Get up, Bruce. Get up. You always get up. 

But Bruce didn’t get up, didn’t open his mouth to breathe, didn’t even move, and everything was still spinning. 

“What did you do?” Clark demanded, but his voice sounded weak to his own ears. “What did you do?” 

“Sending a message,” Lex said, uncaring, like he was talking about something as meager as the weather. Like Batman wasn’t lying still just a few paces away. Like that wasn’t Clark’s best friend unmoving and ghostly pale on the floor. “Maybe now you’ll be inclined to listen to my demands.” 

“Listen to your demands,” Superman echoed, hollow. Empty. The emotions were there, anger and sorrow and grief waiting just below the surface, but something in Clark was keeping him disconnected. Reality just out of his reach. “Listen to your demands? I- that… that was my best friend, Luthor. You… I’m going to kill you!” 

“Are you?” Lex asked with an infuriatingly smug raise of his eyebrow. “You should have done that earlier. It might have saved your friend’s life.” 

Clark thought he heard himself yell, wordless and furious and entirely pointless, his fight against the kryptonite chains still getting him nowhere, his struggles weaker than they’d been when Bruce was still breathing.

Bruce wasn’t breathing. His chest wasn’t rising, his lips were tinged blue, parted slightly, eyes behind the mask slipped shut. 

Get up, Clark thought again, more desperate by the moment. Get up. Please, Bruce. Please.

Lex was moving, wandering over to where Bruce lay, nudging the lifeless body with the toe of his boot like he was observing an animal carcass. Making sure the Bat was dead. 

He sure as hell looked dead to Clark. 

He’s not dead. He’s not dead, he isn’t dead. He’s fine. He’ll be fine. He’s always fine. 

He was The Batman. He wasn’t going to go out like this, silent and helpless at the hands of a few Gotham thugs Lex had paid to prove a point. 

But he wasn’t breathing. Bruce wasn’t breathing and he’d been under so long and Clark couldn’t… he couldn’t…

He thought Lex might have been saying something. Luthor was moving towards him again, his lips moving, but for the life of him Clark couldn’t make anything out, everything suddenly far away, silent. Like he was the one being held underwater. 

It proved not to matter, in the end.

The metal door flew off its hinges, slamming into the concrete with what Clark was sure would have been a deafening thud if his ears were working, a glowing green light flooding into the dingy room. 

The goons were reaching for weapons, Lex was scrambling back in alarm, but Clark couldn’t bring himself to care. The cavalry was here, minutes too late. Superman only had eyes for the body on the floor, the ghostly pallor of Bruce’s lifeless face now illuminated by Green Lantern’s ring, his armor like a puddle of shadows bleeding into the soaked floor. 

There was a gust of wing, a flash of color, and suddenly a red and yellow suit was standing in front of him, blocking his view. 

And that… that was the last straw. Not being able to see Bruce anymore broke something in him, everything rushing back with horrible clarity all at once.

“Flash,” he croaked, meeting the younger man’s wide eyes. “Flash-”

“I gotcha,” Barry said, like they weren’t already too late. “I’m getting you down, Supes. Just hang tight.” 

“Batman’s down,” Clark said, like they couldn’t see that. Like anything he did or said could make a difference. “He’s… I- I need-” 

“It’s okay,” Flash said, sounding for all the world like nothing more than a terrified kid. Clark couldn’t find it in himself to be the one comforting him this time. “It’s… Jesus, where did he even get this much Kryptonite.” 

Flash was already working on the cuffs, hands moving faster than Clark could possibly keep up with even when he had his powers. A part of him wanted to snap at Flash to hurry, that the Kryptonite wasn’t the issue right now. Nothing else mattered except getting to Bruce, making him breathe again. 

But he didn’t. He kept his mouth shut, too scared and exhausted to waste it on something as futile as anger towards his terrified teammate. 

 The chains came undone without warning, falling away like something useless, and Clark dropped to the ground like a stone. Or he would have, if Barry hadn’t been back at his side in the blink of an eye, arms wrapped around him, scrambling back in an effort to keep Superman’s weight upright. 

“Whoa, it’s okay,” Flash said again, breathless. “You’re okay, just breathe. We’re-” 

His words, a misguided attempt just to be helpful, spurred Superman back into action despite his body’s traitorous fatigue. He twisted out of Barry’s hold, grateful that the Flash willingly let him go without a fight, stumbling across the room in blind desperation. 

He had to get to Bruce. He had to.

The battle had clearly been finished quickly, everything still a blur of indistinguishable movement, Lex and his bloodthirsty goons somewhere out of Clark’s sight. It didn’t matter. 

J’onn was kneeling beside Batman, making no move to help- to do anything. The Martian was just staring, expressionless, and deep down Clark knew… he knew…

He knew it was because there was nothing left to do. 

But he couldn’t just give up so easily. Not on Batman. Bruce deserved better than that. 

“Move!” Any authority in his voice was lost by the way it trembled, the way his legs gave out as soon as he reached his teammates and he crashed to his knees, agony shooting through his battered body. “Get out of my way. Please.” 

“Superman-” 

He ignored whatever J’onn had been about to say, pushing past him with all the desperation of a dying man, unsteady hands finding Bruce’s face before he could think better of it, framing his jaw. 

He was so cold. His head lolled when Clark jostled him, his body completely limp, the cowl soaked through. Superman dropped his hand, yanking off Bruce’s glove and gauntlet as fast as he possibly could and pressing two fingers to his wrist. 

He’d never had to take a pulse before. He’d learned, of course, Bruce had been the one to insist on making sure he knew how in case of an emergency. In case of something like this. 

Clark had never thought he’d have to live through the reality of not being able to hear Bruce’s heartbeat. 

But here he was, just as lost as he would be if he still had his powers. Because Bruce didn’t have a pulse. 

“No.” He didn’t know who he was talking to. Maybe himself. Maybe Bruce. It still didn’t matter. “No, no no, B, no!” 

He fisted his hands into the edges of Bruce’s cape, clutching at him, stomach roiling when Batman remained unresponsive. He should be pushing himself up on his elbows, scowling at Clark for getting too close, shoving Superman away with a lecture about carelessness already falling from his lips. (Lips now tinged a horrible, deathly blue.)

Because he had to be okay. He was always okay. 

Superman was running on autopilot now, every survival instinct kicking into overdrive. His hands found Batman’s chest, numb hands digging into the armor, frantically starting the compressions he never would have dared to do if he was at full strength. Why hadn’t anyone bothered to do CPR yet? Why were they giving up so easily? 

Why wasn’t anyone helping him? 

Clark’s movements were frantic, the compressions a poor imitation of the proper rhythm, Superman slamming his crossed hands against Batman’s chest over and over again, his breaths coming faster and faster, the world drowned out by his own hyperventilating and panicked, pleading thoughts. 

If he’d been at full strength, he would have left Bruce’s chest caved in, in his misguided attempt to help, all control lost to his desperation. He wasn’t entirely sure he wasn’t breaking a few ribs as it was. 

It doesn’t matter if he’s already dead, a traitorous, grieving voice whispered in the back of his head. It doesn’t matter what’s broken as long as he opens his eyes again. 

“Superman!” He knew someone was calling his name but it was all background noise, the voice indistinguishable. Nothing mattered except getting the water out of Bruce’s lungs. Nothing mattered except getting his heart to beat again. “Superman!” 

Bruce’s head lolled when Clark pushed harder, face still blank and body limp, water pooling out the side of his mouth. He made no move to cough it up, to struggle for air, to move to breathe. 

“Superman, you need to get off him!” There were hands on his shoulders, firm but steady, and Clark tensed when they started to gently tug him back. In the back of his mind, through the panicked haze, he could just barely register Diana’s presence, the tightness to her words, her voice in his ear. “Kal, listen to me!”  

Clark’s hands were being pried from Batman’s chest, an arm around his shoulders tugging him back, and Superman saw red. 

“No!” They were trying to take him away from Bruce. They were trying to tear him away, abandon Batman’s side, leave his best friend hurting and vulnerable and alone. He thrashed against the hold, fighting despite his growing weakness, giving everything he had left to get back to Bruce. “Let go of me! Let go, let me- he’s not breathing! He isn’t breathing!”  

“We know,” Diana said in his ear, tone unreadable. Clark didn’t stop struggling, didn’t let his movements slow for a second. Bruce needed him. “We know. You need to let us help him.” 

Nobody else was helping Bruce. Nobody was even trying. They’d just left him laying there, left to die in Lex’s warehouse, the life sucked out of him right before Clark’s eyes and nobody cared- 

“J’onn!” he heard Wonder Woman bark. “Help me with him!” 

No. No no no, they couldn’t… they couldn’t take him away. Bruce was dying, laying there defenseless and still (not dead, not dead he couldn’t be dead) and Clark needed to… he needed… 

There was the cold touch of something against his forehead, a pinching in his neck, and suddenly the world spiraled into darkness.

There was no gradual rise to awareness, no reality slowly filtering in, no realization dawning as clarity came back to his hazy mind. It didn’t happen slow. He didn’t get a chance to brace himself for the truth to hit.

Clark woke, and he knew Bruce was dead. 

He didn’t open his eyes, didn’t move a muscle, because he knew the second he did the grief would be unbearable. It was already settled heavy on his chest, looming over him, mocking him, waiting to strike as soon as he came back fully to the waking world. 

Clark’s head still felt fuzzy, his limbs stiff and sore. He could hear the beeping and whirring of machinery, felt the familiar cot under his back, and knew he was in the Watchtower’s medical bay. 

They’d brought him here after dragging Superman off Batman’s lifeless body. 

His powers were back, that much he could tell, though not quite at full power. His head was sluggish, throbbing in time to his beating heart, and he hadn’t even risked opening his eyes against the light yet. 

Clark could hear a second heartbeat in the room, muffled and a little disorientating, the sound nowhere near as clear as it would have been if his powers were at full capacity. 

It took him another moment to register the feeling, but as the world filtered back into focus, Clark latched onto the feeling of a warm hand tangled in his own, the hold firm and grounding, waiting at his bedside for Superman to wake. 

Diana, most likely. They’d… they’d both lost a close friend tonight. Neither one of them would be able to handle the weight of that grief alone. 

Not when it was Bruce. Not when it had been Clark’s fault. Not when they’d been minutes too late.

He didn’t want to open his eyes. He didn’t want to come back to reality, didn’t want to face that grief head on, didn’t want to let the crushing weight of mourning his best friend wash over him. He didn’t want to feel the guilt, feel the pitying stares of the team, the resenting glares of Batman’s family. 

But he couldn’t hide forever. 

Peeling his eyes opened felt like the strain of lifting a building from the ground (a feat he knew all too well) and a breathy wheeze escaped his lips as he forced himself to raise his head, white hot pain shooting through his skull. Clearly his powers weren’t anywhere near fully recovered. There was shuffling at his side, the hand in his own squeezing, and Clark stubbornly blinked against the blinding pain as the world came back into focus. 

Only to be met with familiar, tired blue eyes. 

It was nothing short of a miracle that he had the strength to shoot up as suddenly as he did, the world spinning dangerously for a moment while he gripped the cot’s flimsy sheets, struggling to balance his weight on weakened arms. 

Because Bruce was at his bedside, slumped against one of the notoriously uncomfortable plastic chairs, eyes bright with concern as he straightened at Clark’s sudden movement. 

He looked exhausted, face paler than usual, cheeks sunken, eyebags darker than Clark thought he’d ever seen them. He was in wrinkled civilian clothes that looked about two sizes too big, his hair was a mess, but he was alive. Bruce was awake and alive, just inches away from him, and Clark didn’t know what he was supposed to do. 

Bruce cleared his throat, the sound still wet and ragged, and Clark was immediately thrown back to the warehouse, to Batman choking underwater, to his fight slowing down before dying out completely. 

Clammy, cold skin against Clark’s shaking hands. No pulse. Lifeless. 

He flinched back before Bruce could so much as blink, his weakened body protesting the movement, squeezing his eyes shut like he could somehow dispel whatever nightmare he was still trapped in. “No.” 

“Clark-” 

“No, you’re dead.” He needed to wake up. Clinging to the impossible, torturing himself with his dead friend would only hurt worse than letting go. “You-” 

“I’m alright, Clark.” 

“No you’re not.” His voice was far away. Fading. Like a dream. It wasn’t real. “You… your heart stopped, you weren’t breathing, I… I couldn’t…”

“Clark-” 

“I couldn’t save you,” Clark whispered, small and helpless, unable to do anything but repeat it. “I couldn’t save you. There wasn’t… there wasn’t anything I could do.” 

Because it was true. Bruce had been under too long, unmoving for too long, left discarded without rescue breaths for too long. Even Batman couldn’t come back from that. Even Bruce’s heart couldn’t start beating again once it stopped for good.

“Please just… please-” 

“Clark.” A hand on his face, another around his wrist, and Clark went perfectly still. The touch was warm, and so achingly familiar. “Clark, it’s me. It’s me. I’m here, I’m alright. I’m alright, Clark.” 

Clark shook his head, but he squeezed the dream’s hand despite every instinct screaming at him to pull away. “You… I watched you die. I watched you die.” 

“I didn’t die,” Bruce corrected, like this wasn’t impossible, like this was just another argument in the meeting room. “I’m not dead, Kal. Look at me. Look at me. I’m right here next to you. Open your eyes, Clark. Look at me, please.” 

And even if this was a dream, a horrible twisted nightmare to spark false hope before it all came crashing down as some sort of penance, he’d never been able to deny Bruce anything. Not when he asked like that. 

He didn’t disappear right before Clark’s eyes when he finally risked a glance in the direction of Bruce’s voice. The warmth from his hand didn’t dissipate, and Superman blinked, tilting his head as he cautiously drank in the sight of his friend’s pale face. 

Bruce looked right back at him, awake and breathing, blue eyes undeniably exhausted and cloudy, but still bright and aware. Alive. 

“I… how did-” 

“I’m sorry,” Bruce said, and if he wanted to convince Clark this wasn’t a dream that certainly wasn’t the way to do it. “There was no way to… they got to you before I could warn you.” 

“Warn me?” 

“I wasn’t dead, Clark,” Bruce said plainly, mouth twitching when Clark just stared blankly. “Dick and I worked on a failsafe a few years ago. It’s a combination of toxins, it binds and blocks sodium channels. Keeps them from entering the cells.” 

“Bruce,” Clark choked, because his head was spinning, and there was no way he’d be able to keep up with this even at full strength. “Please.” 

“I poisoned myself,” Bruce said slowly, and for once Clark appreciated the drawn out tone. “Tetrodotoxin. It sent my body into paralysis, essentially. It lowered my heart rate and slowed my breathing enough to make me look dead to the human eye. I put it in a capsule in my tooth when I found out Lex was coming for me. Like a cyanide pill. You would have been able to pick up my heart rate, but-”

“You poisoned yourself,” Clark breathed. “While they were torturing you.” 

“They were going to kill me either way. I knew he was coming for me, and I knew that he would use my life as a bargaining chip. They already had you, all I could do was get a message to J’onn about an antidote so he’d know what to do when the League came for us.” 

“You… Bruce-” 

“I can hold my breath for over seven minutes,” Bruce continued, like this was fine, like Clark needed a damn mission report. “If Lex thought I was dead before that, he’d pull me out of the water, and it would give the League enough time to track our location.” 

“And what if he’d left you underwater?” 

“He didn’t,” Bruce said, and it might have been more convincing if the words weren’t followed by a wet, ragged cough. “And it worked. I’m fine, Clark. We got out.” 

“I… B, I thought…” And suddenly none of this mattered. It didn’t matter that Bruce was alive, that all of it had been fake, that they were safe in the Watchtower infirmary, Bruce already prepared to put all of this behind him, chuck it over his shoulders like every other horror he lived through every night, trauma no human man should ever shrug off so easily. 

It didn’t matter that this was Batman, that physical touch was something to be approached like disarming an active bomb, that there was every possibility he’d be shoved away so hard he’d fall right over the edge of the bed. 

Clark practically threw himself forward, wrapping his arms tight around his best friend and pulling him as close as he could, holding the man who had been nothing more than a corpse just hours ago and pressing his face into his shoulder. 

Bruce froze, stiff and unmoving for a terrifying heartbeat before forcing himself to relax, tension seeping from his muscles as his arms slowly moved to return the embrace, holding on just as tight. 

“You’re okay,” Clark said, more to himself than anything, barely a whisper into Bruce’s shirt. “You’re okay. You’re okay.” 

Bruce’s hand moved to cup the back of Clark’s head, trembling slightly when he ran his fingers through his hair. Something told Clark they’d both needed this. “I’m okay. I’m okay, Clark.” 

There was so much more Clark wanted to say, a million emotions rushing to the surface that he so desperately wanted to let spill out, the weight of their meaning sitting heavy on his chest like they had been for months now. 

But Bruce was leaning into his touch, heavy and exhausted with his breaths still far too ragged and labored, and Clark decided it could wait. Right now, he was more than happy to hold Bruce close like this, like he never planned on letting go. 

[lygattxsyl]

A secret not so secret

“That's low.”

Kara never stopped walking. Or rather trample a new path in the floor of the Tower. It wasn't even that low. Not the nicest thing, okay, but not an insult either. A Kryptonian's doesn't swear after all. Well not really. Her aunt Astra had taught her some solid words that the youngest member of the Science Guild shouldn't have known, but Kara had rarely had the heart to use them. Everything about Astra remained tender, in all the sense of the term. Tender like a soft hug but also like a bruise that would never heal. Maybe that was also why she never sweared in other languages too.

All that to say... Wait, hadn't she grumbled that in kryptonese ?

Their argument forgotten – it was stupid in the first place, Kara's fault if she was sincere – she turned around. Lena was perched on a stool, a heavy book in front of her. She seemed hardly interested in Kara's antics.

“Lena ?”

“Hm ?”

“Did you understand kryptonese ?”

Lena's hand frozed as she was about to turn a page. Silence lasted a beat, two. She raised her head, blinked twice.

“Kara, you do realize that I hacked in the Fortress computer twice, right ?”

Kara nodded.

“The Fortress computer who is coded in kryptonese.”

Oh. Right. All the signs were there. It didn't explain how nor why Lena seemed oddly guilty about it.

“I guess I was a little too distracted at the time.”

It did nothing to diffuse the awkward energy between them. Because the first time, Lena had used the Fortress to hurt her and the second time to save her, just before she was sent to the Phantom Zone. In their history, there was nothing good linked to the place. Even so, Kara felt like she only had a piece of the truth.

“Can I ask ?”

She breathed, far from the Girl of Steel despite her suit. Lena could give her courage but also snatch it from her. All this without realizing it. Their relationship was better but they still danced around certain topics. In true, the world had given them too little time to heal.

A sigh answered her.

“I'm not proud of it.”

Nevertheless, Kara wanted to know. Seeing Lena look down to play with the wristband of her watch, the Super bridged the distance. The table was still between them but it was better. She could also bend down a little to try to catch Lena's gaze.

“You can tell me if you feel comfortable.”

It was something they learned little by little. To develop a healtier way of communication. That secrets weren't always bad. That they didn't have to tell each other everything to make up for the past.

“When we... After I learned about you, about Supergirl, I had this need to know everything. I spend hours, days, going through all the information that Lex had collected. I was obsessed.”

“Because you hated me ?”

“Because I wanted to understand. I never hated you. I was just so hurt. But learning kryptonse... It was different. I didn't realize it at the time but it was a way to be close to you. I think. I'm sorry.”

Slowly, Lena blinked back tears, her gaze magnetic for Kara.

“I missed you. I still miss you some days.”

The sharp tones of kryptonese were strange modulated by an Earthling mouth, after all it wasn't natural for them, but Kara felt a new warmth develop in her chest. The terrible accent was nothing next to the pleasure of hearing someone new speak her mother tongue again. Just for her. Part of the reason could have made her angry, all that touched Krypton was always too personal for her, but she couldn't concentrate on those details. Not when her heart was beating so fast.

“You could use some practice.”

Words bubbled in a mess of tears and laughters as she linked her hand to Lena's on the table.

“Could you teach me ?”

Hope. That's what shone in Lena's eyes. The same hope that coursed through Kara's veins.

Their would be okay.

[amnesia-yourself]

It’s routine by now. The majority of patients are nervous around the needle, some almost performative in their gasps and excessive blinking, others making an understated effort to look away. Lena says a customary hello, asks for ID, and forgets what they looked like the second they get up to leave. At some point they all start to blend together, and the blood tubes on her countertop stop representing individual people and start becoming something of their own.

Lena clicks the button on her desk to call out for ticket #96 and waits, neck craned so she can peer into the waiting room. It’s starting to empty out, the time crawling closer and closer to the end of her shift, and it’s easy to spot her final patient.

The woman stands, fingers wringing together and jaw clenching with uncertainty as she stares at the corridor. She musters enough courage to take a single step, stops to breathe out, and then takes another step, her fingers unfurling and dancing frantically at her sides.

Oh boy, Lena thinks. She glances at the clock on the wall. Ten minutes is plenty for nerves but not enough to deal with a surprise fainting. She’ll take her time with the patient, try to keep her calm, then she can have a quick lunch break before starting her work in the lab.

It takes two out of those ten minutes for the patient to reach the cubicle. She stands uncertainly near the curtain, only sitting down when Lena gestures towards the chair with a gentle smile and asks for ID.

Lena can’t help but surreptitiously examine the photo, adding the woman’s information to their database slower than usual. Her name is Kara. She’s around Lena’s age. She has her hair down in the photo, lips stretched in a pretty smile.

“You nervous?” Lena asks. She doesn’t usually initiate conversation with the patients, isn’t really supposed to, but- well, she couldn’t help it, this time.

“What? No,” Kara laughs nervously. “I don’t get nervous.”

“Okay.” Lena pulls up Kara’s information and starts printing the labels for the tubes. She looks at the fingers Kara’s been drumming against the table. “You look nervous is all.”

The fingers stop promptly. Kara tucks her hands under her thighs. “Usually my sister does the blood draw for me. She’s a med student, but she’s not in National City right now and I don’t want to trouble her. A friend told me about this clinic.”

Lena hums. She built the place after she found Lex’s research on pretty much every alien species in existence, thinking she could use it for some good- an undercover, practically free alien clinic. She accepts human patients too, for the sake of visibility, but those go to the lab upstairs. Aliens can use a coded word at the receptionist to make themselves known and she works on their samples alone down in the basement.

This one’s a Kryptonian, a rather chatty one too. Lena’s surprised, but she doesn’t let it rattle her. She wonders if that’s why Kara’s nervous- a Kryptonian giving her blood to a Luthor.

Well, she’s here, so.

Lena snaps on a pair of gloves and starts taking out the required tubes. She had synthesized a Kryptonite laced needle herself, just in case, but she’s never had to use it before now. Never thought she’d ever have to use it, really.

“So... how long have you been doing this?”

Lena smiles. It occurs to her this could be some kind of interrogation attempt, but if so it doesn’t entirely make sense for Kara to trust her to jab her arm and study her blood.

“Don’t worry, I’m more than qualified, and you’re very healthy. Won’t be having trouble finding a vein, It’ll be over in less than a minute.”

Lena takes out the needle, carefully putting it aside as she gestures for Kara to raise her sleeve. Kara complies.

Her forearm is just as sunkissed as the rest of her. It makes sense, for a Kryptonian. The well-defined muscles also make sense. Lena is examining them from a purely medical point of view, of course.

“This is a Kryptonite laced needle,” Lena explains softly, eyes on her work. “You’ll feel sore for a couple minutes, but it should be okay once you’re out in the sun.”

Kara’s arm tenses under her. Lena’s hand is ready on the tourniquet’s release. “That won’t be necessary. I, um- I solar flared. That’s why I’m here.”

Lena switches the Kryptonite needle for a standard one and quickly goes through the motions of sterilizing Kara’s surprisingly pliable skin, taking advantage of the subject change to distract Kara. “You should’ve told Jess at the front desk.

“Sorry,” Kara winces. “I got nervous.”

“It’s alright. Take a deep breath.”

Kara does, eyes tilting up to the ceiling, cheeks all puffy. Her blood spurts into the yellow top tube.

“You said you solar flared?” Lena asks, making deft work of filling up the second & third tubes.

“Yes,” Kara says tersely. “It’s been a few days and I still don’t have my powers.”

Lena hums. She caps the needle, disposes of it, and releases the tourniquet. “We’re done.”

Kara looks down at the band-aid on her arm. Lena gives her a minute to gather herself while she takes off her gloves and sterilizes the space. When she looks back, Kara still has her eyes closed, struggling to gather her breath. Lena doesn’t think she’s ever touched a patient anywhere from above the elbow, but she risks it now. The tips of her fingers gently press down on Kara’s shoulder.

“You’re fine, yeah? All done. Here, you deserve this.”

Kara opens her eyes, fist still clenched and vein still prominent, her cheeks as red as a siren. She looks at the lollipop Lena’s holding out and puffs out a chuckle, slowly unwinding.

“When will the results be ready?”

Lena is ready for the question. It is part of the routine. No matter who asks it, no matter what the sample or the test is, she says ‘in a week.’ When asked to be specific, it’s ‘on Friday.’

Maybe Lex was right and she’s always been too trusting, maybe Lillian was right and she’s too soft, but she can’t help but hope for friendship with a Kryptonian. She wants to be good, she wants to be different from the Luthors, and she thinks she is good and she is different- but this feels like a ribbon to wrap her redemption in, a complete arch to her story, something she can put her finger on like finding a pulse and think to herself, ‘here it is, here is my proof,’ when she feels like she has not done enough.

“Right away,” Lena says. “Can’t have a Kryptonian without her powers for too long, can we? What if someone needs your help?”

Kara ducks her head, scratches the back of her neck. She holds her arm stiffly by her side, like she doesn’t quite know what to do with it. Her shirt sleeve is still rolled up above her elbow. “I don’t really do that. I’m not like him.”

“That’s okay. I’m not like my family, either. Not always a bad thing.”

“No, not always.”

Something passes between them, then. Something new, an acknowledgement, a step. And it has happened before, is the thing. With Lex, with Andrea, with Lillian- a red herring, each time. But Lena chooses to believe, even if it could ultimately lead to her destruction. That’s her problem, she thinks- not the trusting, not the softness, but the believing.

She steps closer, unfolds Kara’s sleeve so that it covers the bandaid, the vulnerability. “I could show you the labs, if you want. Or you can wait in the waiting room, your choice.”

Kara smiles. “The lab sounds more interesting.”

//

It’s really not that interesting, visually. Most of the interesting stuff is inside the machines, in the calibrations. Every species has a different composition, different proteins and pHs and enzymes, and so each requires a different force in the centrifuge, a different method for antibacterial preservation, different quantitative and qualitative methods.

Kara seems interested, though. She nods, listens attentively, and asks good questions. Somehow Lena ends up rambling about the complexity of figuring out buffer solutions for chemicals she didn't even know existed for ten minutes straight while she carries out routine tests on Kara’s sample.

“How about you, Kara Danvers?” she asks, eager to shift the spotlight. “What do you do?”

“I’m an assistant.” Kara says it like it’s her greatest woe. “Kind of seems… small. Pointless. I have all these powers, and I’m using them to run after Cat Grant and get her lunch orders.”

“What would you do? If you could be anything.”

Kara thinks for a long, long time, and appears to be stumped. “I don’t know. What do you think I should be?”

Lena hums. “Just for the fun of it?”

“Just for the fun of it,” Kara agrees. They’re quiet for a moment, only the hum of the machinery and Kara’s shoes tapping on the floor.

“I think you’d make a great reporter,” Lena finally says.

“Yeah? What makes you say that?”

Lena doesn’t look up from the microscope. “That you came here at all. Reporters are supposed to be unbiased, right? To approach every story without preconceived notions. It’s a basic concept, but most journalists these days seem to lack it.”

Kara walks closer and leans on the counter perpendicular to Lena, careful not to bump into anything.

“Oh, I’m totally biased,” she says. “I think what you’re doing here is totally awesome and I knew that before I ever thought I would have to come to the clinic. Everyone out there has decided that you’re just another evil Luthor, is waiting for you to show it- and all the while you’re in here, treating aliens, and doing it quietly. I admire it. So yeah, I think I’d be a crappy journalist if it came to having preconceived notions.”

If Lena weren’t a woman of science, she’d believe this feeling like she could fly was the result of butterflies in her stomach instead of dopamine rushing to fill her veins. The hormone released when receiving a compliment, or allowing yourself to eat a cupcake, or meditating on the balcony with the sun rising on your skin- the hormone released when you’re falling in love. She looks up from the microscope, and Kara smiles at her, lips blue around the lollipop.

Something else passes between them then, and this time- this time it’s something else entirely.

[readingvocabulary]

cassation - instrumental music

perichoresis - refers to holy trinity

vendanges - grape harvest

epergne - an ornamental centrepiece for a dining table used for holding fruit or flowers

tin lizzie - a car, especially a very early Ford

catabasis - journey to the underworld

lex abscondita - hidden law

codex gentium - code of nations

centrisome

dialegesthai - converse or talk through (Plato)

ascesis - the practice of severe self-discipline, typically for religious reasons.

anamnesis - recollection, especially of a supposed previous existence

venation - the arrangement of veins

taupe - brownish grey

sinuate

nubilous - cloudy, misty; obscure

corvine - like a raven or crow

nomes - each of the thirty-six territorial divisions of ancient Egypt; an administrative division of modern Greece.

Ennead - The Ennead or Great Ennead was a group of nine deities in Egyptian mythology worshipped at Heliopolis: the sun god Atum; his children Shu and Tefnut; their children Geb and Nut; and their children Osiris, Isis, Set, and Nephthys. The Ennead sometimes includes the son of Osiris and Isis, Horus.

pavonine - like a peacock

sebaceous- relating to oil or fat

caliology - study of bird’s nests

greegree - African amulet

electrolier - a chandelier in which the lights are electrical

ateknia - childlessness

monocoque - an aircraft or vehicle structure in which the chassis is integral with the body.

ogive/ogival - the roundly tapered end of a two-dimensional or three-dimensional object

dihedral - Dihedral angle is the upward angle from horizontal of the wings or tailplane of a fixed-wing aircraft

haliographic - writing about the sea

contranatent - against the current

pelisse - long coat

Camanchaca - fog off Peru and Chile

parpen - stone passing through a wall from side to side, with two smooth vertical faces

docent - a person who acts as a guide, typically on a voluntary basis, in a museum, art gallery, or zoo.

lazzaroni - Italian homeless

insuetude - state or quality of being unaccustomed; absence of habit

talipes - club foot

[owl-with-a-pen]

What if Nia had gotten so angry at lex after what happened with brainy, she went to go try and kill him? 😳 and brainy had to stop her. We’ve seen the dark side of brainy before but never in Nia really, discluding “reality bytes”

- Oooh, I like this idea a lot! I brought a few more characters into play for this as well, hope you don’t mind!

“I’m gonna kill him.”

Nia stormed past Kara for the third consecutive time, swivelling on her foot just shy of hitting the far wall so that she could continue pacing across Lena’s lab. Her hands were clenched so tightly together that her fingers were beginning to burn, but she didn’t care. All she cared about was ending Lex’s sorry existence once and for all.

“Nia,” Kara cut in, taking a placating step forward, “just think for a second-”

“You can’t stop me, Kara,” Nia snarled. She knew she’d gained something of an audience since Lena and Alex had returned from the recovery room, could feel their eyes tracking her every movement, but just thinking about who they’d been tending to, the state he’d been in when they’d found him in Leviathan’s ship, made the anger inside her chest that much more vitriolic. There was a pressure growing inside her skull, throbbing along to the beat of her heart. She stopped short, jerking her arm in the direction Lena and Alex had come from. “Look what he did to Brainy. Months of hurting him, putting him through god knows what!”

“And you have every reason to be angry,” Kara said gently.

Nia snorted, rolling her eyes. “Great, ‘cuz I was totally asking for your permission.”

“Nia-”

“No.” Nia turned to Kara then, jaw clenched tight. “Y’know what? No. You don’t have a right to tell me I’m wrong here. Lex kills people, Kara, did you think of that, huh? Did you think of who Brainy might have helped Lex kill? What Lex might have made him do?” Nia could feel tears burning in her eyes, could taste a thickness in her throat, but she forced every bit of strength into her voice regardless. “None of us stopped that.”

“None of us knew,” Alex muttered.

“And who’s fault is that?” Nia shot back, whirling on Alex accusingly. “Brainy’s? Or maybe, maybe the truth is, it was ours. I ignored my dreams and we all, we all ignored him!” Nia sucked air through her teeth. She knew she was trembling, but seeing those concerned looks on her friends’ faces did nothing to cool the fire welling inside of her. She swallowed hard, ignoring the iron tang in the back of her mouth, and drew out a slow breath. “But, most importantly,” she said carefully, “it’s Lex’s fault. This is all Lex’s fault.”

“I don’t disagree with you,” Lena said. Her expression had been especially still throughout Nia’s tirade, although something about it now looked distinctly uneasy. “But, Brainy was careful. I saw him-” Lena cringed suddenly, looking away.

Nia knew why, just as well as anyone else in the room did. Lena had known Brainy had been working for Lex – for months - and she hadn’t said a word. She’d kept his secret. No, no, she hadn’t kept his secret, she hadn’t cared about it.

“It was only brief,” Lena said quickly, glancing back to her, “but during that time, he promised me that no one would be harmed whilst he aided with Lex’s schemes. He wouldn’t have broken his code, Nia. Not even for Lex; I’m certain.”

“You killed him.”

“What?”

Nia stared at Lena coldly. “You shot him, right? You shot your brother in the heart and you didn’t think about it. Because it was justice.”

“It wasn’t justice-” Kara tried desperately.

“I’m not talking to you!” Nia gritted. She didn’t even spare Kara a passing glance. All of her attention was devoted to Lena. “Let her talk.”

Lena’s eyes were bright, shimmering things. Still, she didn’t look away this time. Instead, her lips twitched into sharp smile. “What do you want me to say?” she asked coldly. “That killing my brother was cathartic, that it closed old wounds that I thought might never heal?” She raised her chin. “No, you want the whole truth. That my actions stopped a threat that would have continued relentlessly unless someone had the nerve to take that shot. To leave his lifeless body to rot with the worms like he deserved.”

Kara made a pained sound in the back of her throat.

Lena glanced at her. “Don’t get me wrong,” she said plainly. “I don’t condone this. But, not because I don’t agree with her.” Lena turned back to Nia, her brow furrowed. “Nia, taking a person’s life is something you can never take back.”

Nia bared her teeth. “And yet, that’s exactly what the Anti Monitor did.” She gestured at Lena frankly, feeling wayward strands of dream energy snap and spark between her fingers. “Absolve you, or whatever.”

“I’d kill my brother again without a moment’s hesitation,” Lena said stiffly, lifting herself to her full height. “But, we can still stop him without resorting to that.” Her expression softened. “Even if we couldn’t, my actions, they aren’t yours. Nia, you don’t have the stomach for this. You shouldn’t.”

Nia clenched her hands again, feeling her energy pool into every digit. Vibrant blue light simmered against her palms. “No offence, Lena, but you don’t know anything about what I’m capable of right now.”

“Nia?”

Nia faltered, the shock of her power dimming as she half turned to meet the new voice behind her back.

Brainy was stood in the lab’s entryway, his shoulder pressed heavily against the wall. If the frailness of his expression was anything to go by, Nia was certain it was the only thing keeping him from keeling over.

His green skin was still far too pale to be healthy, and his blond hair clung to the side of his jaw with cold sweat, but he was awake. He was…

Why was he awake?

Between the two of them, Lena and Alex had been able to help along Brainy’s natural healing process using a cocktail of experimental drugs, the names of which Nia wasn’t even going to try to pronounce. But Brainy’s IV wasn’t present, instead she could see an angry looking bruise already beginning to blossom over the delicate skin on his left hand.

The dream energy dissolved from Nia’s hands in an instant, rocketing back towards her chest so quickly that she nearly choked. She rushed over to him, reaching tentatively for his arm.

This close, she could see the shadows that had sunk into his cheek bones, the red veins that still branched along the whites of his eyes. He held one arm protectively around his chest, clenched between the steady glow of his three life projectors.

“Brainy,” Nia said breathlessly, running her hand carefully along his arm, desperate to offer any kind of support she could. “You shouldn’t be up.”

Brainy clenched his teeth, lowering his head. “I-I overheard…” he managed.

It took her a second, but although his eyes were heavy lidded, Nia realised that Brainy was looking down at her hands, at the vibrant energy she’d summoned only moments ago. Something heavy settled inside her stomach at that look.

“Nia,” Brainy continued softly. “You- you don’t need to do this.”

A pained laugh caught in Nia’s throat. “You weren’t supposed to hear that.”

Brainy smiled tiredly, lifting his head with clearly more energy than he had to expend. Nia ached to do something for him, to take that hurt away, but the anger inside of her no longer burned like fire. Instead, it twisted deep in her gut, churning together with every bit of fear she’d been trying to hold down since the moment they’d gotten Brainy out of Leviathan’s clutches.

“Killing Lex…” Brainy said, meeting Nia’s eyes. “It will not take back what I did. I worked for him of my own volition, he didn’t force me into anything.”

Nia swallowed hard, closing her eyes.

“You have every right to be angry with me,” Brainy said earnestly. “But, please, don’t channel that anger into something this destructive. Lena is right. Taking a life is never worth it. There is always a better way.”

Nia’s eyes shot open at that. She blinked quickly, shaking her head. “I’m not,” she said. “I’m not mad at you.”

When Brainy only stared at her, Nia felt the twist in her stomach sour even further. She gritted her teeth, blinking back against the sudden burn in her eyes. “I- I don’t want to be,” she said weakly.

“It’s okay.”

Nia startled at the feel of Brainy’s fingers brush against her free hand. She clenched the one around his arm in response. “It’s not okay,” she gritted. “It wasn’t your fault. I-”

“From what I understand,” Brainy said, “emotions do not always make sense. But that does not make them any less real.”

For a long moment, Nia couldn’t say a word against him. Because, as much as she hated to admit it, he was right. She was angry, so angry, but she was also terrified and sick and hollow. There was a bitter hole in her heart, one that had only continued to grow in the months since Brainy had broken up with her. He’d barely spoken to her since, had hardly stood to be in the same room as her at all. The closest they’d gotten was work-related interactions and even then, he’d been so distant, like a part of him hadn’t even been there.

And when she’d seen Brainy in Leviathan’s ship, every single piece of bitterness had surged to life in a united front to keep her grounded, to keep her away from every other emotion threatening to tear her apart. It had warped into a violent rage, an acrid burn inside her lungs, fuelling her on this fruitless pursuit to, what? Kill Lex? As though that’d make her feel better, as though any of this would make her feel better?

Nia couldn’t find it in her to say that all out loud. Instead, she sniffed hard, biting her lip. “You left me alone,” she said lowly. “And that killed me.”

“I know,” Brainy said, his voice pained. “It… it killed me too, and I know this isn’t enough, that it won’t take away the hurt, but I am so, so sorry, Nia Nal.” His eyes fluttered suddenly, and he closed them quickly, lowering his head. “I will always be sorry.”

Nia knew this wasn’t the right time to have this conversation. Brainy’s complexion was already losing the little colour he’d gained; his jaw was tight with discomfort, and as a harsh shudder ran up his spine, she watched as he lost the last of his composure, leaning his head against the wall with a weak grimace.

Nia wasn’t sure what she was feeling in that moment, but when Brainy’s legs nearly gave out, she didn’t hesitate. Her arms were wrapped around his back before she even knew that she was moving forward, burying her face securely into the side of his neck. His skin was sticky with cold sweat, but she didn’t care, she only hugged him fiercer, unable to keep a sob from heaving its way out of her throat.

“It will be enough,” she whispered, feeling as Brainy slowly began to relax into her embrace. “It’ll just take some time.”

There was more she wanted to say now. The words practically thundered inside her ears, clawing to be let out. Words like, how much she loved him, how she’d never stopped loving him, but how even that couldn’t take away the resentment she’d stored against herself, against him, for leaving her without a proper explanation, for making her feel like her feelings were unwarranted, unreciprocated.

But her throat was tight, and the only sounds she was able to make were the harsh gasps as her chest hitched and fell outside of her control. She could hear Brainy’s pulse beating away against her cheek, the moisture of his own tears wetting strands of her hair.

All she wanted to do was hold on and never, ever let go.

Brainy didn’t say a word, either. Although, for him, it was for a far more pressing reason. His breathing was already beginning to strain against her shoulder, and when he suddenly dipped dangerously in her arms, Nia strengthened her hold around him, leaning them both against the wall to support their combined weights.

“So, does this mean no one’s murdering anyone anymore?” Alex asked from across the room.

Nia’s chest clenched. She’d totally forgotten that her reunion with Brainy had been met with an audience. She lifted her head from his shoulder, blinking against the brightness of the room before turning towards her friends.

Alex was already on her way over to them, her eyes reviewing every inch of Brainy in both parts medical and familial concern. Kara and Lena hovered awkwardly together, seemingly aware that crowding Brainy right now might not be the best plan.

Nia met Kara’s gaze warily, offering her an apologetic wince. “I…” she began.

“It’s okay,” Kara said softly, her eyes creasing with a smile.

Nia sighed, shaking her head. “Okay,” she said levelly. “Maybe, maybe we don’t have to kill him. But the next cell we put that asshole in, he’s never getting out of.”

Kara’s smile widened into a grin. “Now, that’s a plan I can get behind.”

“First thing’s first,” Alex cut in, rousing Brainy enough that he was able to glance blearily up from Nia’s shoulder. She pressed the back of her hand against his forehead, narrowing her eyes at the result. “You’re telling me what the hell you did with your IV. Then, you’re going back to bed.”

Brainy nodded weakly, mumbling a quiet apology, although Nia knew Alex wasn’t looking for one. In fact, she was pretty certain she’d heard Alex forgive Brainy at least a dozen times over while he’d still been delirious from the radiation.

Nia chuckled, helping Alex manoeuvre Brainy’s weight back down the hall.

“C’mon Wildcat,” she murmured into his ear. “We’ve got you.”

Maybe they hadn’t had a chance to get everything out in the open just yet, but they would. 

Once Brainy was healthy and rested, they’d have all the time in the world.

[lena-in-a-red-dress]

Metallo!Lena AU Pt 23

Kara marches into the DEO to track down her sister, and finds Alex in the command center, directing a team through a field exercise. Alex doesn't give her a second glance until Kara steps between her and the monitors.

"Do you need something, Supergirl?"

"Lena is missing."

That gives Alex pause. After a moment's consideration, she passes command of the exercise over to Agent Vasquez, then pulls Kara to an empty conference room. "Evidence?"

"She didn't come home last night."

"Okay. You checked her office?"

"Assistant was about to call the police. Supergirl was able to convince them to hold off."

Alex nods. "Okay, let's retrace her steps--"

"I already have. Nothing. The only thing I could think of was that Lena might have been called out for a mission. Did the DEO assign her anything?"

Shaking her head, Alex dismisses the idea. "Lena's callouts go through me. I didn't authorize anything."

"And you haven't heard any chatter about her being targeted?" Kara asks. "This isn't like her Alex. I'm worried something really awful has happened to her."

"I'll put a word out to our analysts to see if anything comes up that could hint at a kidnapping or assassination. We'll do everything we can, okay?"

Kara nods, but her heart isn't in it. Alarm clamors in her ears, slowly eclipsing all rational thought. All she can think of is Lena-- Lena alone, Lena scared. She's already survived her mother's experiments... what else will Lena be forced to endure?

---

Lena comes to strapped to an operating table. The cold visage of her mother completes the nightmare. More chilling however, is the sight of her brother's grinning features looming over.

"There you are," Lex greets, tapping the tip of Lena's nose with one finger. "Geez, getting that sedative just right has been an experience! Too little, you could wake up and bust right through these restraints. Too much, you're out like a light, which is no fun. But, I think we've got it worked out now."

He gestures to the tubing dangling from the IV bag hanging near her head. With a strap across her forehead, Lena can't turn her head to trace it to its destination, but through the foggy haze around her, she feels a tug at her neck, and surmises that they've got a line straight to her carotid artery.

"Wha' d'you want?" Lena slurs, fighting the numb feeling in her lips and tongue.

"Why, you, sis! I mean, we already have your research, so you're the last missing piece."

Lena blinks at him, struggling to put together what his plan could possibly be. How had he learned about her research? What did he need her for?

Sensing her confusion, Lex's grin grows. "What, you think there aren't any anti-alien sympathizers in an organization that hunts aliens?"

The DEO. He has a mole. Concern for Kara flares, but she struggles to hide it. The less Lex thinks she knows, the better. Luckily, her brother doesn't seem to notice.

"Brava, by the way. Brava. You cracked the kryptonite code! If I'd known all it would have taken was the risk of harming the girl in blue, I would have let you go sooner."

Lena closes her eyes. Of course Lex is involved with Cadmus as well. She should have known. He is the one who killed her.

"But really, the real find was that mineral you found in that kryptonian stash. What did you call it? Harun'el. That was the real discovery."

The memory of the white hot pain of touching the statue, the sear of her heat vision, the POWER that had coursed through her veins washes over Lena. The trepidation solidifies into true fear when her mother pulls a rolling tray closer, and Lena sees a chunk of mineral glowing a dark, familiar purple.

She recognizes the black kryptonite, and she recognizes its shape-- its shaped precisely like the crystal already embedded in her chest. Ice courses through her veins.

"No," Lena murmurs. "Please, don't do this."

Lillian caresses her forehead, her touch jarringly gentle. "Don't worry, sweetheart. It'll be completely painless."

"As far as we know," Lex amends, unconcerned. "But imagine it Lena-- a mineral that imbues Kryptonian abilities, in a chassis powered by kryptonite. You'll be the ultimate weapon against them."

"I won't hurt Supergirl," Lena vows.

"Well, we'll probably have to rebuild the ole gray matter," Lex informs her, "so you won't have much of a choice."

He pulls back, and looks to their mother. "Ready?"

Lillian nods. "Just relax," she tells Lena.

"Mother, please, you don't have to do this--"

"Don't beg, dear. It's unbecoming."

With gloved fingers, Lillian grasps a pair of forceps and hooks the tips under the edges of Lena's kryptonite shard. With a jolt, the crystal comes free. Lena's breath instantly grows heavy, and her body goes limp, too dense for her to lift. She knows from her own tests that she'll survive over an hour before her systems begin to crash, but her mother seems to have no interest in testing her limits.

Setting Lena's stablized, manufactured kryptonite aside, Lillian reaches for the harun'el. In a single, smooth motion, she sets the crystal into the empty setting, and presses into place.

Strength surges through Lena the moment it clicks home, jackknifing her body against the restraints. As Lex scrambles to increase the sedation, Lena screams.

Pain engulfs her, dark and searing. She screams and screams, until she knows nothing more.

---

Kara's phone rings, and she fumbles to answer it. "Hello?"

"Don't come back to the DEO."

"Alex?"

"On a hunch, I checked Lena's callout logs. She was pinged thirty-four hours ago with a set of coordinates."

"You said--"

"It didn't come through me." Alex's tone was clear, making sense of her initial warning-- she suspects a mole in the DEO. "I'm sending the coordinates to your phone. I'm sending Vasquez with a team of agents. Do NOT approach until they arrive."

"Alex, she could be--"

"If it was a set up, then the odds of Lena still being there are zero to nil. But if she is still there, then you're going to need back up."

As soon as the coordinates come in, Kara flies there immediately. She doesn't approach-- she doesn't need to. All it takes is one scan with her hearing and x-ray vision to know that if Lena had been there a day ago, she isn't there now.

She was gone.

previous / next

[karaluthorzorel]

Angst hurt. Lex tortures Supergirl

6x1 divergence Lex tortures Kara with Green Kryptonite, but  before the last strike he plays with her a little more ... especially when she's maintained Lena.

"Did you bring it?" Supergirl asked in a matter-of-fact voice. 

"Sure, look and be hold at the remote that controls all my monkeys in the sky"

Lex tossed the remote aside in the direction of Supergirl, she was busy with the remote flying aside and when she did not notice Lex pointed the green beam at her, that hit her and she landed strongly on the other side of the wall. 

"Did you really think I would give you the real codes?" Lex asked with a ridiculous face. 

Supergirl on the floor faces the green pain, "No!" She answers heavily and gasps ... 

"Next time you land on someone else's planet the sun should increase your thinking and your power ... Oh! But I almost forgot, for you there is no next time" 

Lex sends her another green ray, Kara cries out in pain, she knows this for giving time to others and she must take it, but how long can she take what he does to her? 

The green veins on Supergirl's face glow brightly and Lex, Lex enjoys every moment, the screams that Kara shouts are music to his ears.

He has not yet tried all his powers on Supergirl, he decides to stop with the Green bam and try Leviathan's power on Supergirl. 

Kara gasps in pain, the brief moment Lex stops torturing her continues when he decides to go and throw a ball rock made at her fortress.

He throws it over her face, the fortress rock injures Supergirl's cheek, she falls to the side from the blow and her face turns to the floor.

Kara grits her teeth and deals with the pain Lex is causing her, her hands on her aching, bleeding cheek.

Lex continues to walk towards her, "What? No "hope speech" on how much I can change and blah blah blah?" He says mockingly.

"That's the problem with you Kara, you and Leviathan, you're advancing an agenda, trying to get humanity to bend in ways it just does not want to"

 Supergirl raises her head to him, "like you tried to bend Lena ...? bitting her against me ...?"

Lex is furious at the mention of his sister, "You will never get close to my sister again, I will make sure of it", he kicked hard in her stomach. 

Kara cried out, this pain along with the kryptonite, she felt she was suffocating she was desperately trying to suck air. 

Lex stands over her and sees her suffering, it's his best day. 

Supergirl recovers from the blow she manages to sit and lean against the wall, "Y-you are a man with alien DNA crossing through him who thinks he knows what is good for the world...sound familiar?" 

Lex turns around as if he thinking and said "sounds like someone willing to do anything to save humanity"

he turns around and sends another green ray.

Supergirl screams in agony, that's it,she feels it, the power is gone from her and she sinks and sinks, she tried to breathe one last time and then she was silent.

[kuletxcore]

Spiritdimension Neptunia Frontier 1.4: The Highest of Mountains

“Okay, then.” IF started, “We gotta see what’s stopping the flow of share energy to the rest of the city.”

IF produced two cell phones from her belt full of spare phones.

“Alex, you and Lara go investigate the north of the city,” IF ordered while giving Alex a pink cell phone, “Compa, you and Hotaru check the southeast, Maya and I will investigate the southwest. Both of these phones have my main number on them so call me if you find anything.”

Hotaru took hold of the white cell phone and nodded along with everyone else. They then broke off to find the source of the anomaly.

“Hotaru…” Compa began, while they were walking through the city.

“What is it, Miss Compa?”

“What is your world like?”

Hotaru paused in thought, “Well, for starters, we don’t have any goddesses or monsters. We don’t have Share Energy, either.”

Compa nodded, “It must be nice to not have to deal with monsters.”

“Miss Compa, If you don’t mind me asking, what was this world like before that Sin Monster arrived?”

Compa sighed, “It was a relatively peaceful world. Of course, Nep-Nep and the other goddesses found ways to make it interesting. Each country was amazing in how they ran themselves: Planeptune always looked so futuristic and shiny, Lastation had a lot of hard-working people making a lot of neat weapons, Leanbox always held itself like a nice countryside, and Lowee was a winter wonderland where it looked like it was always Christmas.”

“It sounds like something from a Fantasy Novel.”

Compa tilted her head to one side, “Do you read a lot, Hotaru?”

Hotaru nodded, “My family moved around a lot, so I read a lot of books to pass the time when we would travel… I guess that’s why I don’t really know much about my world….”

The two walked quietly for a while, looking for anything strange.

“Miss Compa?” Hotaru started, “What were the Goddesses of Lowee like?”

"Say, Miss IF... Is your name really like that? Only two letters?"

“Hm?” IF turned to Maya, while still walking, “Well, it’s actually short for Idea–... You know what, just call me ‘Iffy’. Everyone else does.”

Maya chuckled, “Alright, Miss Iffy, whatever you say.”

“Don’t call me ‘Miss’, I’m not an old lady yet.”

Maya chuckled again. The two both walked the city for a while, Maya climbing through the various rubble and cracks with ease.

“You’re pretty good, Maya.” IF complimented.

"Thanks, Iffy. Freerunning and parkour really helps. Do you do stuff like this sometimes?" Maya asked.

"Yeah, but I often go in my garage fixing my bikes."

Maya’s eyes lit up, “You ride!? Aw, man, we gotta ride together sometime!”

IF stumbled in surprise, but got similarly excited, “We totally should! I even have an Extra… Bike…” IF suddenly trailed off. “On second thought, maybe we should hold off on that.”

“Aw come on, you can’t just tell me you have an extra bike and leave me hanging!”

“Trust me, if you saw my extra bike, you would know it would need a lot more than just a tune-up.”

"Lara?" Alex asked suddenly.

"Yes, Alex?"

"Have you ever dreamed of somebody else's life as if it is your own?"

Lara raised an eyebrow, “Can’t say that I have. Why?”

“It’s weird… I think I’m dreaming about Nepgear’s life. This isn’t the first time the Deity of Sin attacked this realm. I even remembered defeating it so vividly."

“Wait, that was Nepgear?”

Alex nodded, “Yeah, It’s all so overwhelming. ASIC, Ultradimension, Zerodimension, The Gold Third, even Heartdimension… I remember it all like it was yesterday…”

“Do you experience hallucinations? Is there anything else you got from Nepgear aside from her memories?” Lara asked out of concern.

"No, but I think I picked up all her skills at some point. I even used her Beam Saber as if I had trained with it for years. It's really weird..."

“I wonder if that’ll happen to all of us…” Lara curiously thought.

“At least Nepgear’s nice,”

“Does she talk to you?”

“No… It’s more like, I can feel her reactions to things. Like right now she’s apologizing for my dreams.”

A faint red glimmer caught Alex’s eye. She looked in that direction and sprinted to the red patch. Laying on the ground in front of her were red X-shaped crystals. Alex went to pick one up but hesitated at the last moment.

“Alex, what’s wrong?” Lara asked.

“Anti-Share Crystals. Everything in my mind tells me to not pick it up…” Alex explained.

Against all better judgment, she picked up the dark eerie crystal. Surprised that she didn’t double over in pain, she took out the pink phone that IF gave earlier.

"I need to contact the others. I don't know who's planting these, but they're bad news!" Alex exclaimed as she dialed IF's main number.

"Hello, IF? There are Anti-Share Crystals here. I'm not affected or weakened by it." Alex explained to IF. "Please do. I need everyone in here, and I don't know what it contains. Thanks, Iffy." Alex hung up after the call.

"And so we wait for the others to arrive."

Unbeknownst to the two girls, they were being watched from the shadows. Dark blue eyes, burning with contempt and a hint of sadness considered the two Champions.

“Hmph, Leave the Underling in charge for one minute and look at what happens…” She crossed her arms and walked deeper into the shadows, “I’ve already willed it: these champions will not win.”

"Alex!" The two teams met up with Alex and Lara. Alex was still holding the Anti-Share Crystal. "Hey, IF. Compa. We've been waiting for  you guys." IF held out her hand, prompting Alex to hand the crystal over.  IF then inspected the crystal.

“Definitely an Anti-Share Crystal,” IF confirmed, “How are you holding it? These things are outright deadly for CPUs” “Maybe because Lexi is still human even though she can transform into Ge-Ge.” Compa theorized. Alex picked another crystal off the ground, inspected it, and then crushed it in her hand. The red dust blowing away in the wind. Lara, Hotaru, and Maya did the same. "Hey, it isn't so bad. Now to destro–" A red flash erupted from the dark mist that formed out of the destroyed crystals. When it died down, a Fenrir stood, ready to attack. "What is that?!?" Hotaru exclaimed in terror of the massive hound. "I totally forgot about a monster spawning when you destroy a bunch of Anti-Share Crystals!” IF shouted, “Alex!"   Alex nodded, "Right!" She activated her transformation, however this time the share code seemed glitchy and out of control. "Let's do thi–... Wait, why is my voice the same? I should sound like Nepgear by now!" Lara fished out a compact from her pants and handed it to Alex. Alex looked at her reflection and saw her own face instead of Purple Sister’s. The only things that remained of Purple Sister were the light blue eyes and the power button irises. Alex inspected herself further and found that she was just basically herself wearing Purple Sister’s outfit. “W-what? Why do I look like this?” “I guess it’s because of all of the Anti-Share Crystals in the area,” IF concluded, “I guess Lex just ‘half transformed’ or something. You feeling alright?” “I… Guess so…” The Fenrir took a swipe at Alex. She was able to take it, but it hurt more than the other attacks. Alex unleashed a Mirage Dance on it, but it wasn’t as effective either. “Okay, maybe I’m not at a hundred percent. Although I can still fly,” “Keep it up, Lex, You still have Gear’s powers.” IF encouraged. “We have faith in you, Lexi,” Compa added, “We have faith in all four of you... The four of you are the champions that will save Gamindustri!” Alex started to glow, “I feel… warm… My wounds are healing!” IF smirked, “That’s Share energy for ya!” Alex nodded as she discovered another aspect of her powers. She then called out to the girls, "The rest of you should destroy the rest of the Anti-Share Crystals. I'll handle this beast!" IF joined in, summoning her Qatars, “I’m not letting you have all the fun, Lex!”

As the two fought the Fenrir, the others fanned out and tried to shatter as many crystals as they could. Of course, in doing so they summoned more giant wolves. However, with each Anti-Share Crystal destroyed, more and more of Nepgear's power returned to Alex, as she started handling each wolf with relative ease.   "This is the last one!" Maya shouted as she crushed the last Anti-Share Crystal. "Thanks, Maya!" Alex said as she started to glow. Suddenly, Alex exploded in a wave of Share Energy. The monsters that surrounded her were pushed back, and the girls witnessed something amazing. Alex's face morphed, and her hair lengthened, changing color to pink. Her hands became daintier and her arms became slightly toned. Her legs filled out the tight boots, her waist pulled in and her hips widened, giving her an hourglass figure. Her shoulders became more pronounced, and her chest grew, filling out her skintight suit. “Pretty…” Hotaru intoned, full of wonder. “That’s going to be all of us,” Lara commented. “I… I guess that could be cool…” Maya murmured “Welcome Back, Ge-Ge!”  Compa cheered. "I can feel the Share Energy coursing through my veins!" Alex exclaimed in her new voice. She pointed her gunblade up and let out a shot, which then split up into multiple beams, and rained down on the monsters. She then slashed the beasts one by one. Share code appeared around them as Alex dealt critical damage. "Share Code, Digitize!" The entire area livened up with color and everyone cheered. That was until Lara pointed off in the distance. “Do you guys see a girl wearing a mouse hoodie?” IF groaned and Compa sighed, they both knew exactly who Lara was talking about.

“Welp, there’s another plan ruined by the Goddesses, chu” Warechu said leaning against a tree.

“Ugh, I do not want to be the one to tell the boss!” Linda whined. “Well, I’m sure as hell not telling her, chu.” Linda looked out and saw one of the girls pointing in their direction. "Shit, we've been spotted! We need to go!"

The group saw that the girl and a black mouse ran away. "They're going to the city!" Lara shouted. “Of course they are.” IF sighed, “Come on, let’s go get them!” “Who are they?” Lara asked. “Um… Underling and Warechu, I think.” Alex said, closing her eye while she tried to search her memories, “Nepgear and the others fought them before.” “A lot of times.” IF added, “Honestly, I didn’t think we’d find them here.” The team chased them through the city until the heroes cornered the mouse-themed culprits on a random closed alleyway. "Tch, why are we even running?” Underling said, “We know we’re gonna lose.” “We’re not–” Warechu started and then sighed, “Yeah… You’re right, besides nothing these chumps do would be worse than what she’s going to do.” IF lowered her qatars, “Wait, you’re giving yourself up?” Underling smiled, “Ya know, it might be stupid of me, but I wanna at least say I tried to fight you guys!” Suddenly, Warechu attacked IF from behind using a trash can lid he picked up. "Ngh! You..." "If you want me and my knowledge of the Lastation Spirit so hard, then come at me!" “Lastation spirit?” Lara asked. “You blabbermouth!” Warechu yelled. Alex raised her sword as Underling did the same with her steel bat. The two rushed each other to start the battle.

== Nepstation ==​

Neptune: Nepstation! It’s no mystery that I’m your host, Neptune! With me is none other than Alexandra Rose and Lara Strife!

Lara: Alex… what’s going on here?

Alex: I think Miss Neptune calls it the “totally non-canon Episode Preview”

Nep: Yeppers! You can talk about anything from the chapter we just presented above.

Lara: Right, so... Who is this "Warechu" anyway? Is that some kind of Pokémon?

Alex: Um.. sort of? He and Miss Underling are sort of the Team Rocket?

Lara: Oh… It’s sort of unfair that you have to fight them on your own though.

Nep: That's true. Also, you'll get your sister spirit soon, Lara. Alex won't be the only one fighting anymore.

Lara: Really?

Nep: Yep! But first, we need to talk about Parallel Universes...

Alex: What? Where? We ourselves are proof that Parallel Universes exist. What are you talking about?

Nep: I'm saying that transforming into HDD is a full thing, you can't say you only "half-transformed", Lexi! It’s not an “A” Press! How do you expect to be a main character if you can’t keep these basic rules of speedrunning straight?

Alex: But... Nevermind. Roll the next chapter preview, please!

Neptune: We’re wrapping up the First Planeptune Arc when our four champions defeats Underling and lets her spill everything she knows! Next time: The Road to Lastation!

[lex1nat0r]

Akame ga Kill!

Kill All These Words

Alright, heads up right off the bat: there’s some uncomfortable homophobia in this show towards Bulat, one of the male characters introduced early on who pretty clearly has a preference for men. The show treats this as a joke, and it’s a real sore spot. 

Akame ga Kill! (exclamation mark included) is... not what I was expecting. I’d heard it built up as a grimdark murderfest where you never know which character’s going to bite the dust next and it never quite felt as dire as all that. Mostly because all the murderkilling is interspersed with wacky slapstick bits. It’s a mixed bag, really. I like it, sure, but it doesn’t quite gel with me enough that I’m really into it.

Join me for a deep dive and spoilers below.

Akame ga Kill! suffers from a problem I’ve seen a few times in anime, which is that it rubberbands between two tonal extremes. On one hand, there will be scenes of slapstick comedy with chibi character models, and on the other hand are the scenes of violence and cruelty. Like in the first episode where it turns out that the nice rich girl who shelters Tatsumi tortures poor people in her spare time.

Yeah, it’s a sadistic show, or at least feels like it wants you to think it is.

Don’t believe her lies.

Let me first take a step back and give the rundown of some basic stuff. Akame ga Kill! is about Tatsumi, a guy from some podunk village who tries to join the imperial army in the city to get money to send back home. He ends up falling in with Night Raid, an elite group of assassins working for the Revolutionary Army trying to overthrow the corrupt empire. And right there I think the show missed a trick. I was expecting a mid-season twist where it would turn out that the Revolutionary Army was just as corrupt as the current regime and Night Raid would have to deal with that, but for the most part the Revolutionary Army is a non-entity in the show. Outside the final two episodes its presence is limited to a few resistance contacts.

An almost unforgivable oversight is how little attention the show gives to the danger beasts, the monsters that inhabit the land of... wherever Akame ga Kill! takes place. They get very little screentime as the show focuses mostly on Night Raid’s assassination targets. Another missed opportunity, I feel. On the upside, at least the danger beasts get lip service in that each of the Imperial Relics wielded by the tough fighters in the series is made from a legendary danger beast. It would have been nice to, y’know, see these powerful monsters on screen, but one takes what one can get.

The worldbuilding on the whole is pretty weak. The general aesthetic is pretty generic fantasy, but the major characters have some pretty anachronistic outfits and apparently guns are semi-standard issue to the armed forces? It’s a little distracting, but still forgivable because it feels like the background details take a definite back seat to the characters.

And speaking of characters: Esdeath.

Not gonna lie, I did originally get into Akame ga Kill because I wanted to know what Esdeath’s whole deal was.

Esdeath’s relationship with Tatsumi initially made me roll my eyes pretty hard, but it is handled better than I was afraid it would be and at least affects the plot in interesting ways while adding flavor to both characters. My one gripe is really that it should have had more setup instead of Esdeath falling in love at first sight. And it does eventually lead to the most emotionally affecting part of the whole show (more on that later).

Esdeath drawing Tatsumi in that amateurish anime style is one of the best little bits of character I’ve seen in an anime.

Now to get back into the meat of the thing:

Accusing a work of being emotionally manipulative is pointless because yes, every creative work is trying to make you feel something. But problems arise when you can see the strings. Akame ga Kill!’s attempts to make you feel sorry for a character who has just died or is about to die they just become tedious. It’s kind of fun to guess who’s going to get killed off based on what (usually tragic) backstory we see during an episode, but once the show actually starts drawing out the actual death scenes I start losing interest.

This is even more of a problem when the show tries to get us to care about the Jaegers, Esdeath’s team of relic-wielders who try to hunt down Night Raid. It spends a lot of time building up their characters and relationships, but my problem is that they’re the bad guys. They all work for a system that we’ve only seen to be oppressive and corrupt and none of them seem at all interested in bettering it, only protecting the status quo. So in the end I just can’t find it in me to dredge up any real feeling for them beyond wondering when they’ll die and how melodramatic it’ll be. The worst offender here is Seryuu, the Paladin type who’s definitely Lawful... something (let’s not get into D&D alignment quibbling here). She’s constantly talking about Justice while seemingly ignorant of the irony when the ‘justice’ she’s championing is rotten to the core. It might have been nice to see her have a change of heart and join Night Raid but there was never any real hope of that happening.

Seryuu (who’s family name is inexplicably ‘Ubiquitous’), pictured here with her relic Coro in the form of a jacked-as-fuck puppy. 

Now, to be fair in the final few episodes Run does reveal that he joined the Jaegers to try and change the empire from the inside, but he’s also the Jaeger we know the least about so it doesn’t have a whole lot of weight. Plus, he survives so we don’t get to revel in the tragedy of seeing someone with good intentions cut down before they get a chance to effect real change. In a similar vein, Wave feels underused as it takes him to the final few episodes to finally decide to start bucking the system.

There is one death that did get me though, and that’s Tatsumi’s death in the second-to-last episode. It works so well because up to this point the show had been treating Tatsumi like the main character, letting us forget that it’s Akame’s name in the title. Tatsumi’s death also provides a nice emotional payoff to the romance subplot with Esdeath. It’s one of the real high points of the series because how genuinely unexpected it was.

That one moment aside, the thing about Akame ga Kill! is that I’m not sure if it’s making a sincere effort to tug at heartstrings or if the melodramatic deaths are just part of the show’s whole overblown aesthetic. While not tonally consistent with each other, the wacky comedy bits and the girmdark gore bits at least feel like they tie into each other thematically in that they’re both extremes. This also matches the show’s bright, cartoony artstyle. Even the character designs are over-the-top, with the aforementioned anachronistic design elements. Plus the initial members of Night Raid have hints of a sentai team’s color-coding going on. It took me a while to figure out that’s because the show’s leaning into being something of a caricature.

I mean, the fact that the second-to-last battle is against a gigantic mech should clue you in that the show was trying to be over-the-top and not taking itself too seriously the whole time. Something I admit to being kind of slow on the uptake about. Even the main villain, the corrupt Prime Minister Honest is a total cartoon. And I can’t mention the ridiculousness of the show without a special shoutout to Seryuu’s mid-season upgrade where during fights she gets Coro to bite off her robotic arms to replace them with various weapons.

This over-the-topness is even more emphasized with Akame ga Kill! Theater, a series of web shorts that aired on the official website and are supposed to be watched after the corresponding episode of the main series. Each episode of Akame ga Kill! Theater is about a minute and a half and consists solely of chibi slapstick

So where does that leave us?

Well, technically I think that Akame ga Kill! is a good show. The antagonists Night Raid goes up against have interesting and varied abilities, the action scenes range from well done to amazing, the animation is good, and when the music stands out it really stands out. My own lack of enthusiasm for the show comes from I think one part unrealized expectations and two parts finding the melodrama tedious.

Akame ga Kill! is a series that’s worthy of respect, even if it didn’t end up blowing me away.

A happy Esdeath. She is possibly the best-defined character in the show.

Postscript: Akame ga Kill! feels to me like it’s cut from the same cloth as Blood-C. So if for whatever impossible reason you want a show that is 100% Lex-approved and have a limited amount of time, I’d say check that one out instead. 

[oops-my-fingers-slipped]

By Chance, By Dance

Author: Admin Lex

Pairing: JungKook x You

Genres: Fluff, Romance, Street Dancer AU

Warnings: Only a few swear words

Your dance sneakers stride through Seoul's busiest streets, Spring breezes licking your ankles and anticipation tightening your grip on the speaker clutched in your hand. You scan the street horizon in search of a suitable dance floor for your little spectacle. Pace quickening, your eyes pin-point a wide clearing up ahead next to an intersection, unoccupied and spacious.

/Perfect./

Within minutes you've reached your destination, set down the speaker, plugged your phone, and tapped on the playlist labeled "N/Y's Jams." You peer up from the device and smile at the bustling pedestrians, too hurried to notice your preparations. Women click past in heels as high as their income, tourists drag aching feet and filled cameras, stylish persons sip macchiatos with shades stained caramel by the late afternoon sun. Everything all too familiar. Today, however, they would be in for quite a treat. Continuing with your task, you hit "play" and take a few good steps back, centering yourself in the middle of the concrete square.

/Alright, let's do this.../

You take multiple deep breaths before the music kicks in, mentally preparing yourself for what's to come. First up on your playlist was "Really Really" by WINNER so it didn't surprise you when the opening bass sends your body spiraling into its rhythm. Each step fitting its corresponding count like pieces of a puzzle finally aligning. Every movement flawlessly practiced, interlocking step with melody. Your worn dance shoes are enough proof of hours dedicated to hard work. Time to put it to the test... It starts with one person. Then a few more trickle in. Then clusters of pedestrians form a circle surrounding the main attraction they all came for: You. The music omitting from the speakers echo through the streets of Seoul, bouncing off skyscrapers and across local vendors, entrancing all who hears it like a spell. It tugs at their curiosity and guides their feet towards the beckoning sound.

JungKook POV:

JungKook's afternoon didn't quite go as planned, for he didn't expect to hear his group's song "Blood, Sweat, and Tears" while strolling along the city sidewalk. Curiosity surged through his veins as he turned toward the sound, trying to locate the music. His eyes quickly stopped at the nearby intersection where a crowd surged forward, gathering around something clearly very enduring.

/Hmm must be a street performer.../ /I wonder if they're using the original choreography./ /They must be good if a crowd this large managed to form this quickly.../

Deciding he could afford a little detour, JungKook tugged his face-mask over the bridge of his nose and approached the crowd. The river of pedestrians were hard to push through but JungKook managed to reach the front of the audience, finally seeing what all the fuss was about. In the center of the circle danced a girl, all eyes glued to her sharp steps, every movement laced with precision. She obviously had practiced and perfected the choreography almost too much. Having memorized every subtle step, she gave herself freedom to stylize the choreography a bit, adding her own twist to the rhythm. JungKook could hardly recognize it as his own dance and, needless to say, he was impressed. Suddenly, the girl spun around, catching JungKook's eye in the process, a smile instantly spreading across her cheeks. She refused to let go of his gaze, at least not until she stopped dancing and began walking in his direction.

/Oh shit, does she recognize me?/

JungKook barely had time to collect his bearings before she spoke. "Hey, you know the choreography, don't you?"

Clearly not ready for the unexpected interaction, JungKook's palms began to sweat. "Oh, uh, yeah I do but how did you know?"

JungKook didn't think it seemed possible, but her smile grew even wider as she explained, "You've been marking it since you showed up. Do you want to try it for real this time?"

"Well, actually-"

She made a gesture beckoning him to the dance floor. "It will be fun! I promise it isn't as scary as it looks."

Little did she know, stage-fright was the least of his worries. A smirk crawled up his face as JungKook stepped out from the audience and joined the dancer in the center of the circle. The audience, finally realizing what was happening, burst into wild cheering for the brave new-comer. The girl still held a smile to her face as she high-fived her new partner.

Reader POV:

You quickly knelt down to your speaker, rewinding "Blood, Sweat, and Tears" to the beginning and gave the boy a thumbs up. He returned the gesture and you supposed he was smiling under his mask from the way his eyes crinkled in excitement. You returned to your spot on the floor next to the newbie and knelt down. Following your action, the boy hovered his hands over your eyes, mimicking the exact pose in the ever-famous music video.

/5, 6, 7, 8, and-/

Nae ppi tal munul~

Both of you shot up off the ground, ready for the dramatic entrance and slowly nodded your heads in union to the music, before sliding yourselves into the next count of eight. From the corner of your eye, you spot him hitting every step, not daring to miss even a single beat.

/WOAH, okay so maybe he's not so much of a newbie.../ /But where on Earth did he learn to dance like that?/

You were right, he knew the choreography and he knew it like the back of his hand. His precision was breathtaking but you refused to be left in the dust. You began hitting your steps harder, cleaner foot-work, determination coursing through your blood. Peering over at him, it appeared your dancing had the same effect on him as well. His breath more labored, cheeks flushed the color of a beet. Both of you were pushing yourselves to your full potential. And absolutely loving every second of it. And apparently you weren't the only ones because the crowd cheered and screamed like never before, only giving you both more energy. Through the entire track, they ceased to decrease their volume. The song finally concluded, leaving you and the boy gasping for air, nearly collapsing from exhaustion. Even so, the sweat that flooded your clothes and the burning sensation searing your lungs didn't stop you from letting a joyful chuckle escape your lips. Releasing a laugh of his own, your temporary dance partner beamed up at you from where he sat on the concrete, still trying to regain his breath. Sweat coated the tips of his coconut hair and heat stained his ears red. You assumed you appeared similar but didn't bother to care. You managed to find the breath to ask, "Where did you learn to dance like that?"

"I think I'll keep that a secret." He said with a smirk before continuing to pant.

"With that kind of skill, I would too. Oh, by the way, I'm Y/N."

"Nice to meet you, but I refuse to believe I'm the only one with skill here," he replied.

You walked over to where he lounged on the floor and offered a hand up. He gladly accepted and you took the opportunity to ask, "I don't believe I've been told your name yet?"

"I think I'll keep that a secret too."

You smirk, he had just confirmed your assumptions. "Okay, so that means you're either a fugitive or an idol judging from the mask...and I'm pretty sure fugitives can't dance..."

His casual laughs are muffled by his face-mask. "Are you sure? I hear some can break dance almost as good as they break out of prison."

You immediately face-palm, sending the boy into bubbles of laughter. "I hope you realize how terrible that pun was."

"I should really stop learning how to flirt from my hyungs." He realized too late the weight his words held and regretted speaking instantly, nose flushing bright pink. You giggled and the boy-still flustered- checked his watch, eyes widening when he read the time. "Oh! I'm gonna be late! The members are waiting for me."

"So you /are/ an idol."

"Possibly." He flashed another shy smile.

And with that, he began fast-walking out of the clearing and crossed the street at the intersection. When reaching the other side of the road, he remembered something. Turning back around, he shouted in your direction, "Thank you, it was a pleasure dancing with you!" A few people passing by gave him confused looks but he paid no attention. You yelled back, "The pleasure was mine!" You waved him off and the nameless idol continued down the avenue without looking back.

•The next day...•

"... and as our top news story: BTS's JungKook was spotted yesterday in Seoul participating in a street dancer's performance as well as having further conversation with the stranger after-hand. Let's take a look at what footage was released..."

You have never moved so fast before in your life, shooting up from your desk with your mouth wide open, hardly believing what you were hearing. You stepped closer to the T.V. where the newscaster played footage taken of you and the idol dancing to "Blood, Sweat, and Tears." Your mouth dropped to the floor.

/NO WAY. NO FREAKING WAY./

The footage was shaky, taken in a hurry but there was no mistaking it. You and JungKook danced in the center, sweat dripping from your foreheads, faces as red as a tomato, but the wide smiles you two wore were the most prominent feature present. Both of you lost in the bliss of music, but knowing exactly what steps to take. Both of you so happily at peace. The video cuts away, leaving the news anchor alone at a desk and she proceeds reading off mundane news for the day. But you couldn't seem to hear her through your inner screams.

/I can't believe it.../

[groovydreamervoidroad]

You didn’t hear it from me. Copy and paste everywhere. ❤️

Protesting Safety Crash Course

1. For the protester

2. If you’re arrested

3. Supporting protesters

For the protester:

1. Be prepared for anything. Protect yourself. Try to go with protest vets.

2. Cover up. Face, body. All of it. Especially tattoos, removing piercings. Wear padding if possible. Pockets and layers are great. Do not wear binders or corsets or cutesy identifying clothing. Closed toed shoes and dark clothes without labels if possible. Profiling is often by body type. Embody an angry sock.

3. Write pertinent numbers and info on your skin in sharpie under your clothes or on notecards. This includes, your pertinent contacts info in case your phone dies and you don’t remember, another with emergency legal council, and a third with your right if you don’t already have them memorized. ACLU has an easy pamphlet you can copy on their website.

4. Should you bring ID? Some people say no but the ACLU suggests it. Cops may detain you longer trying to identify you. Do not lie to the cops even tho they can (and likely will) lie to you. (Section on rights below)

5. Wear a mask and shatterproof googles. Don’t wear contacts, they can trap tear gas. Bring a scarf you can wrap your face in to protect from tear gas. I’ve heard soaking it in water or coke can help, thought the International News Safety Institute says that could interact with the type of gas and make it worse.

6. A helmet (construction maybe) if possible to protect against rubber bullets

7. Pack water and snacks. Milk or water or 3 teaspoons of baking soda in 8,5 oz of water to rinse tear gas (start at the corner, move in) and first aid solutions including tylonel and medications. Wet wipes, tissues and quickclot.

8. Some protests DO NOT ALLOW BACKPACKS THAT AREN’T CLEAR. Men’s cargo pants and purses are a great alternative. Check before you go.

9. Cash, not cards.

10. DO NOT bring anything that could be construed as a weapon. If it wouldn’t make it through TSA, don’t bring it.

11. Put your phone/devices on airplane mode and turn off location. They can and will be used to track you. Have a portable battery and be fully charged. Use encrypted apps to communicate with friends. Turn off facial recognition and thumbprint, use a longer password so it’s harder to hack.

12. Do not use given names if possible. The Nosy will comb videos to dox you with. Comrade. Friend. Pal. Fellow human. Not names.

13. Avoid taking pictures of people and avoid having pictures of you taken. Don’t get doxxed. People have shown up dead over this.

14. Do not show your face on the news or give a statement. The protest is the statement.

15. Don’t post or allude to the fact that you’re attending a protest on social media. Don’t make it easier for Nosy people to dox you. If you make a sign don’t take pictures at home.

16. Be prepared to use your privilege if you have it. Protect marginalized groups.

17. Tear gas can be thrown back or neutralized. Always wear thick gloves as the canister can burn you. To neutralize, have a wide mouth container with water, throw in the tear gas canister and cover with hand, not too tightly you don’t want the container to explode. Alternatively cover with a traffic cone and pour water over it.

18. If you’re witnessing an unlawful arrest, get the officers name, badge number, witness contact info, videos and pictures (which is legal to do on any public property) of injuries to file a complaint.

19. Have a protest buddy. Do not get separated. If you get separated have a plan (if we’ve been apart for an hour meet at 4th and main by the fire hydrant to regroup)

20. Watch out for ‘kettles’ where the law enforcement forms a riot line, forms one behind you and circles people in. They can now do mass arrests or easier targeted arrests.

21. Know the area and know how you’re arriving and leaving. Know a backup.

22. Don’t police each other’s actions. Don’t be a snitch. Also in this vein don’t put other people in danger.

23. Finally, trust your gut and if it is getting shady, bail. Leaving does not lesson your support. Your mental and physical health is important.

If you are arrested:

1. If someone is being arrested get their name and contact info. Keep moving as soon as possible to not end up in a kettle situation.

2. Know your rights. Stay calm, keep your hands visible. Don’t argue, resist or obstruct police. Even if they seem to be violating your rights. Point out you’re not disrupting anyone else’s activity and the the First Amendment protects your actions

3. Ask if you are free to leave. If the officer says yes, calmly walk away.

4. If under arrest, you have the right to ask why. Ask for a lawyer. Do not sign or say anything without a lawyer.

5. You have a right to a local phone call and if it’s your lawyer the police are not allowed to listen

6. You never have to consent to a search of yourself or your belongings. If you do so it can later negatively affect you in court.

7. Police may pat you down if if they suspect you have a weapon and may search you after arrest

8. Police may NOT confiscate or demand to view your videos or photos without a warrant. They may not delete or alter photos under any circumstances.

9. To report an arrest (including your own) call the National Lawyers Guild at 212-679-6018

How to support a protest:

1. If you’re in the area where it’s happening put out water and snacks.

2. Offer rides if possible, bring water snacks and first aid. Uber in Minneapolis was disabled and some had to walk home.

3. Wait outside the jail with water, snacks, phones and batteries to help people get home. Shoelaces are often confiscated so have some on hand if possible. They will not be released at once and may not have their stuff returned immediately. Set up shifts. If you are religious group, now is not the time to to talk but to do.

4. Be loud with your support. Put out signs stating your support. If you witness something, document it but do not dox protesters.

5. Donate!! Donate to support legal and medical fees for the protesters. Donate to organizations that support the cause.

6. Sign petitions for police reform, sensitivity training and better marginalized citizen protection. If you are outside the USA and need a zip code to sign with, 90015 (Las Angeles), 10001 (New York), 75001 (Dallas)

Current petitions and support avenues:

1. Text “FLOYD” to 55156

2. Text “JUSTICE” to 668366

3. https://act.colorofchange.org/sign/justiceforfloyd_george_floyd_minneapolis

4. https://www.change.org/p/change-org-the-minneapolis-police-officers-to-be-charged-for-murder-after-killing-innocent-black-man?utm_content=cl_sharecopy_22409600_en-US%3Av3&recruiter=1094364768&recruited_by_id=79651240-a056-11ea-bc84-37125e1797ed&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=copylink&utm_campaign=psf_combo_share_abi&utm_term=psf_combo_share_ab

5. https://www.change.org/p/nancy-pelosi-we-want-a-police-reform-bill-now?recruiter=204496456&recruited_by_id=34205cf0-922c-11e4-a696-0f749c20c230&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=copylink&utm_campaign=petition_dashboard

Sources:

aclu.org

right-to-protest.org

vice, teenvogue, various creators on TikTok, Lex Scott, tumblr