#cole explain your acting choices

[navree]

every jeronica scene: 9/?

riverdale season one episode six: faster, pussycats! kill! kill!

[cameronspecial]

Before The Last Petal Falls (Part 7)

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: Mentions of Drug Use, Drinking and a Relapse.

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 2.0K

Summary: Time flies by when Y/N is home but eventually she has to go back to London. One argument leads Rafe to his next spiral.

Masterlist

Y/N sits at the kitchen island with her laptop in front of her and a mug of Earl Grey tea beside it. She is looking at different flights back to London. Cole has finished his scouting of the Outer Banks for work, which means he is heading back home, so Y/N thought it would be a good time to go too. She takes a sip of her tea as Mason enters the kitchen. “Ugh, we should’ve figured you would’ve stayed in England forever when you started drinking tea,” he grumbles tiredly, rounding the counter to rest his head on her shoulder. He takes a chance to look at her laptop. “No… You can’t go back. You just got home.” Y/N turns her head to look at Mason, “I’ve been here for almost two months, Mace. London is my home now. Just like how Toronto is now also your home. I need to get back to watch over the bookstore.” Mason gives her a pouty look. 

“But, dude, I miss my sister. You haven’t been back in five years.”

“I know, but it’s not like you can’t visit me in London. I have lots of space there for you. Sparky would love to share his dog bed with you.”

“Haha. That’s hilarious. Please stay a little longer.”

“I can’t, Mason. I love you, but I’m going back in a week. See, I’ve already booked my ticket.”

She points towards her laptop screen at the ticket she bought while he was trying to convince her to stay. At this, he groans and runs his hand down his face. “Dude, you suck,” he complains. Y/N looks at him with sad eyes, “I’m sorry. I’ll pay for a ticket for you to come visit me. I promise.” Mason looks at her with reluctant eyes and gives her a small smile. “Fine, but you have to buy me all the food that I want.” “Deal,” she agrees with a massive grin face, happy that she could cheer her brother up. 

——

Why the universe kept leading her to her ex-boyfriend’s ex is beyond her comprehension. Blythe stares at Y/N working on her laptop in the booth near the window. Blythe honestly likes Y/N, but with her recent break-up with Rafe fresh in her mind, she doesn’t really feel like sitting next to the girl that plagues his mind. Seeing as the coffee shop is filled with customers and she does not want to go back to the hotel to work, she has no choice but to ask the girl to sit across from her. She is tired of seeing the four walls of her hotel room. “Can I sit here?” she asks Y/N. The bright smile on Y/N’s face makes Blythe think that Y/N isn’t aware of the break-up, “Yeah, of course.” She takes her seat and gets to work on the paperwork she needs to do today. 

After about an hour of doing work, it’s clear the girls are running on steam, so Y/N offers to get them something to eat and drink. She returns to the table with a smile, placing the food in front of Blythe. “So what’s it like working for a hotel franchise?” she inquiries to Blythe. The hotel heiress awkwardly looks at her because she really doesn’t feel like talking, “You know, it’s here and there. I love doing the work but I’m nowhere near ready to take over.” 

“Makes sense. I mean with the wedding, I’d imagine it would be hard to juggle planning and a CEO change.”

“So you really haven’t heard?”

“Heard what?”

“Rafe and I broke up.”

“Was it because of the drugs?”

“Well, that certainly explains his behaviour. I guess in a way it is because it has changed how he acts. But I think it was mostly because of you.”

“Me? I promise you that I haven’t told him to break up with you or hinted that I wanted to get back together with him.”

Blythe gives her a raised eyebrow, not because she doesn’t believe her, but because the answer should be obvious. “I know you would never do that, Y/N. It’s just that, even after all these years, you’ve had this big place in his heart that I or any other person, I think, couldn’t fill. He was always meant to be for you and I think seeing you again triggered this realization for him. The universe wants him with you,” Blythe explains as gently as possible. 

Y/N looks at her with questioning eyes, “If the universe really thought that Rafe and I were meant to be, then why did it bring Cole back into my life the day we saw each other at the club? I felt pulled to go to the pool there, which doesn’t normally happen.” Blythe gives her a tight-lipped smile. “Don’t you get it? A part of your healing was being able to move on from the past. The universe might have brought you to Cole, but why does it keep bringing you back to me? I think, as some cruel joke, I meant to help you come to the same realization that Rafe came to a long time ago. That he is the one for you.” Not having anything more to say, Blythe packs up her stuff and leaves the coffee shop, leaving Y/N to wonder if what the outgoing girl said was true. 

——

Rafe had been going strong with resisting the temptation of putting any substance that could intoxicate him inside of his body. He has been doing anything that could keep his mind off of her, getting high or drunk. Working until early in the morning, helping his sisters with whatever abstract thing they could think of, doing garden work. Thankfully, it helps. Rafe enters the house on the phone with Mason. As he walks through the door, he sees his dad waiting for him at the front entrance. “Mace, I gotta go,” he mutters into the phone before hanging up. He has been avoiding his father since the break-up, knowing that Ward wouldn’t be too pleased with what happened. However, it seems Rafe couldn’t run any longer. “I don’t want to talk about it, Dad.” Ward shakes his head and approaches the boy, “Well, too bad because that’s what I want to do. How could you break up with Bltyhe? She’s perfect for the family!”

“She was going to break up with me anyway, I just did it before she could. And she may have been perfect for the family, but she isn’t perfect for me.” 

“Then who is Rafe? You haven’t been on a date with anyone other than Blythe since high school. How are you supposed to find that person if you don’t give anyone a chance?”

“We both know that I already found her. I just don’t know where we stand at the moment.”

“Y/N is not perfect for you. You are going to take over the company, here. She lives  in England.”

“What if I wanted to go to England with her? You’ve never asked me what I wanted when you were planning my whole life for me. You never asked me what I had planned. You’re lucky that I didn’t get into any of the English universities that I applied to. Because if I did, you’d probably never see me again.”

“Yeah, It’s because you weren’t smart enough for the British universities! Did you ever stop to think that maybe I didn’t think you would be good enough for anything else? That maybe that’s why I insist on you taking over Cameron Development! Because you aren’t capable of doing anything not handed to you on a silver platter.” Ward’s cruel words are like a slap in the face. All of Rafe’s insecurities come back to him and all he knows is that he needs to escape. 

——

Y/N wakes up to the buzzing of her phone. Not bothering to check who it is, she answers it, “Hello?” His slurred speech is the first thing she notices. “I need you to pick me up,” he demands into the phone, even if she can’t see him, she knows he is waving his arms around as he gives the order. She sits up completely and rubs the sleep out of her eyes, “Rafe, are you drunk? Where are you?” He slurs out a couple of words she can’t understand and then hangs up. She tries to call him again but he doesn’t answer. She swings her feet over her bed and goes to wake up Mason. 

——

She drives up to the address Mason gave her, thanks to Find My Friend, to find Rafe stumbling around the front yard. She parks the car and then hops out to retrieve him. “There she is! The girl I should be marrying,” he mumbles, walking right into her arms. She shakes her head, dragging him towards the passenger side of the car. “What are you talking about? Rafe, are you drunk?” she asks, but when she sees his dilated eyes, she knows the truth. “Please tell me you aren’t high. Tell me that you kept your promise.” He hops into the passenger seat and looks at her as though he has been caught committing a crime, which he technically is. Y/N looks at him with a broken heart, “I really wish you kept your promise.” He just sighs and she goes to the driver's side. “You don’t know what I had to deal with this afternoon,” he grumbles, crossing his arm and turning toward the window. 

“Was it your dad? About the engagement?”

“Of course, it was my dad! WHO ELSE WOULD IT BE?” 

“You don’t need to yell at me. You shouldn’t let your father get to you like this. And drugs aren’t going to solve all your problems, Rafe. You need to talk to someone.”

“Like you’re one to talk. I know part of the reason you broke up with me is because of my dad. Plus, the only person I want to talk to is currently upset at me for doing drugs. You don’t get it. I need the drugs to forget about you.” 

“Rafe… I don’t even know how to process any of that, let alone answer it. I had my reasons for our break up. You know that.”

“That’s what you keep saying. But I don’t know why you couldn’t talk to me about what was wrong. We told each other we would always tell each other about what we were worried about. And you didn’t do that. Why didn’t you do that?” 

She looks over at him with dejected eyes, turning her head back towards the road. Y/N doesn’t want to answer his question, telling the truth would make her too vulnerable and she doesn’t need to feel like that right now. She continues the journey towards his house. She parks in front of it and doesn’t say anything as he gets out of the car. “Thank you. I’ll stop bothering you from now on. You won’t hear from me again,” he murmurs without giving a single glance towards her. When she sees he entered his house, she starts hitting the steering wheel with tears running down her face. Y/N couldn’t keep her feelings in anymore. 

Rafe gets into his room and yells without a care as to who he might be waking up. He grabs the glass on his bedside table, throwing it onto the ground. He watches it shatter into millions of pieces and chucks something else onto the ground. The door to his room creaks open. Wheezie peeks her head through the door, “Rafe, are you okay?” All he can do is scream at her, launching the alarm cloak he is holding at the door. She yips in fear, closing the door to protect herself. He finishes his attacks and slams his back against the wall. He lets himself slide down so he is sitting. Rafe buries his head into his hands and lets out a gut-wrenching sob. Both Y/N and Rafe went to bed that night with pain in their hearts and one question in their minds. Will they ever find a way back to each other?

Taglist: @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @gillybear17 @f4ll-for-you @winterrrnight @maggiecc @magicwithaknife @loves0phelia @jiarapamuk @blisslove @baby19sthings @thelomlisrafecameron

[getthisbread]

I'll save you a seat.

title creds: Taylor Swift, Lover

summary: It's the little things he does that make you fall harder, and harder for him.

Lloyd Garmadon, Kai Smith, Cole Brookstone (separate) x gn!reader

(UUGHHHH HE'S JUST SO CUTE I CAN'T-)

Lloyd:

Lloyd is constantly worried he isn't enough, this fear translates into late nights and early mornings in constant training.

Please, please, please pull him away if only for five minutes, time he spends with you makes him feel like he could fight the overlord a million times over and not be tired. You refill his chronically low battery.

On a rare day that he has a chance to catch a break, he makes it all about you. No ifs, ands, or buts, you don't have a choice. He wants you to feel as loved as he does in your presence.

Misako, Wu, and Garmadon all think y'all are adorable. Garmadon even teases poor Lloyd, asking when the wedding is.

Lloyd is SO blushy when you are mentioned in conversation, especially with the other ninja teasing their lil' brother.

Lloyd is a big baby when you're alone. Having literally been forced to grow up at a young age, he wants to be babied sometimes, and you happily oblige. Anything to make him happy.

After Chen's disaster of a competition, Lloyd started to write letters to you while he may be away. He wants to romance you just like Garmadon romanced Misako. <3

Lloyd really just wants to settle down with you sometime in the future.

Kai:

Kai wants to take you everywhere, and anywhere. He's the kind of boyfriend to be attached to you in private, but the moment the ninja are near he acts like he wasn't just passed out on your lap.

Will take you on bike rides because he is a bad boy™ (not really, but just let him think he is, for his sake.)

Kai would get you all hyped, telling you that you were going to go for a night on the town, and to be dressed in formal wear, just to "surprise" you with two tickets to the newest minions movie. You lowkey looked like idiots, but he made it up to you by buying you the minion meal at IHOP. (ahhh, true love)

Kai pretends like he doesn't, but he acts like a dumbass older brother to all the ninja. You tell him it's cute, and he combusts, literally.

You had to ban him from twitter. He would constantly give away locations by updating his status.

He is SO protective, it's endearing, yet annoying. You try to explain that you aren't a child and can take care of yourself. He tries to back off, but can't really help it. He just gets so worried.

You and Nya are besties, you (jokingly) talk shit about Kai all the time. >:)

Kai doesn't like to be wrong, but if it's you, he'll give in a lot easier. If you're hot headed like him, arguments might get a bit more extreme, but they won't last too long because you don't want to be mad at each other over something silly.

Cole:

Cole wants to carry you EVERYWHERE, and he can, super strength comes in handy. Cole is such a cuddle-bug, he always wants to be touching you in some way. Whether it be a comforting hand on yours, or you in his lap.

Cole has NO shame, not even in front of the ninja. He'll tell dirty jokes very loudly, and poor Zane won't understand why everyone is all red in the face.

He loves you more than cake, I know! Crazy right? If you are at all able to bake, this man will BEG you to make him a cake. on his knees, puppy-dog eyes, and everything. He is committed.

Sometimes when things are getting a little steamy between you two, Jay will run into your room screaming bloody murder, like the world is going to end, just to freak Cole out.

Cole gets all huffy after Jay tricks him, even though he falls for it every time. You secretly love how pouty he gets. <3

Lou loves you so much, he made a dance about you and Cole getting married, much to his son's dismay. Lou even sat Cole down one night you were visiting, and gave Cole Lilly's engagement ring.

Cole looks like he was chiseled out of stone, he is absolutely shredded. If he happens to catch to you staring, you will not live it down for at least a month.

Cole waits to see your reaction on most things, he wants to know what you think. He doesn't even know he does it, it's a little subconscious sign of his love.

This was my first ever post besides rules, so please give any constructive criticism as you see fit. Thank you sosososo much for reading if you made it this far!!! <3

[zumpietoo]

OMGGG....dude, the writers have always sucked and you’ll never get Jizzy again because your kween is a fucking psychotic loon. Suck it, accept it.

Plus, “the laziness” is most assuredly NOT what upsets any of you the most (cuz I’ve read your fics and they suck and are lazy, derivative crap, so...there ya go). You’re pissed because you aren’t getting your way. The End.

Actually, no, if they wanted Jizzy together, they’d write them together.....honestly, if your kween wasn’t such a psychotic loon, they’d probably have put them back together.....and never even created a new LI for Jughead (especially given how “lazy” they are, right????)....but, you stan a psychotic bitch, so that’s what happened. 

And if you ARE “all in”, you’re gonna be disappointed. Already abundantly clear no Jizzy endgame.....and if there were, she’s officially HIS second choice, now AND it would be split screen, voiceovered, last 2 seconds of the series finale. 

Nobody GAF what you want, Snorty....and you’ve clearly never watched the show. Also, OMG.....you want your ship back “for the greater good”????? Jesus fucking christ, Snorty.....this is a new level of crazytown, even for youuuuu....

And yes you are supremely toxic and selfish and no you won’t be “getting your endgames” in ANY way....

Douchie’s a shallow dick who wants it sucked off. Very consistent, in fact

Slizzy and Vermin have never had a believable friendship....it’s poorly written and acted. Nobody GAF.

We’ve had seasons on end about Slizzy’s ladypain. Nobody GAF.....also, she isn’t. 

Again, none of this everrrr happened on the show and what you “would love to see” is immaterial....gotta say, your entitlement and bizarrely inflated sense of self importance? Is remarkably reminiscent of PedoT....and explains why you utterly disgust me. YOU aren’t even crazy enough to be fun...

Dude, Babyman Ted isn’t the showrunner, that’s RAS....he always wanted the BAV triangle and he fucking hates Cole....particularly because Cole’s the most popular actor/plays the most popular character and is, was and always will be the ONLY reason the show had a successful run. 

PSA to Snorty, it is totally YOU (and I hate having to defend an asshole like Ted).

(again, go blame your kween)

Actually, I liked Rivervale, I could even tolerate the supernatural, etc....they just didn’t plot anything out well. Which has always been their issue. Plus I thought Rivervale was fabulous cuz Bunker Jug still loves Slizzy (no), which means all Jugheads love Slizzy...

Ummm.....that actually didn’t happen with Pinkle, quite the opposite.

JABI......however....

It wasn’t/it was actually blackmailing, etc....fail. And, really? You’re jelly that Pinkle shippers even got that. Cuz you sure insisted Jizzy’s “making out” to save the world meant they’d be 2gether4evah, almost all season. 

Also, Tinkle isn’t “seeing another person”, dude, she’s fucking married to him. 

And, once again, nobody “deserves” dick. Don’t like? Don’t watch. 

[go-scottishgal14]

from Taki’s magazine...

The End Game

Bruce Antonio Laue

March 09, 2021

The wedding was marvelous, the weather superb. Crowds ten deep along the mall to Windsor Castle. An American bride for the warrior-prince. The pubs rang out with cheers “To the Royal Couple”!

A breath of fresh air; the Brits are always up for a breath of fresh air. They gave us the Rolling Stones, the Beatles, and the miniskirt, for heaven’s sake. And here she was, young, beautiful, American, an actress, Catholic, divorced, and biracial. Perfect. What could possibly go wrong? Meghan Markle was about to enter a life of luxury, glamour, and deference the likes of which few people can imagine, let alone aspire to, a life she craved but did not understand. The latest fashions, the finest entertainments, the love of a besotted young man who, with a little encouragement, might mimic the career of his kinsman, Lord Louis Mountbatten of Burma. All this, and at so little cost to the bride.

In exchange for all this, the British people expected her to try to stay awake while visiting the gluten-free gumball factory as the plant manager explains how the little suckers are produced. At times a plaque must be unveiled on the side of a post office, hospital, college, railway station, or army barracks. Occasionally little school children need to be patted on the head, no problem; the Duchess likes children, or so she says. And then there are the trips, lots and lots of trips; to Fiji, Lesotho, Tonga, Tuvalu, and many more places that Her Highness has never heard of, and there will be gifts and dinners and more gifts and more little heads to be patted. And then there are men standing in straight lines all wearing the same funny suits, carrying rifles because they have sworn to defend you and your family with their lives, if need be. All you have to do is walk past them down the line and smile. When you have a child, people will cheer and artillery will sound and bells will ring and there will be happiness everywhere. That’s it, that’s all that’s expected.

“To refuse to do your duty is a selfish impulse the British cannot understand.”

And it was unsurvivable. Unsurvivable.

There were some early clues; the toothless smile at the Trooping of the Colour (it was almost a smirk). The reticence in allowing photos of her newborn son Archie to be published. The move to Canada—well, all right, grandmother’s profile is on every coin so we’re not really that far away. But then California, bumming off friends or business contacts. Then Megxit—an act so shocking that it was easily compared to the 1936 abdication crisis. To refuse to do your duty is a selfish impulse the British cannot understand. It goes against their basic concepts of personal identity; it is akin to cowardice. Your duty is something you knew was expected of you when you were born to a specific role in society or took an oath to uphold certain principles or values. To dishonor them is to dishonor yourself. It is a way of thinking Meghan Markle cannot grasp.

And then the interview, complete with background music. Oprah, to her credit, said it was “your truth,” not “the truth.” Markle’s ridiculous contention that her son would not receive security protection or that he would not be provided a princely title is for an American audience not familiar with the workings of royal etiquette. Harry could have bestowed his subsidiary title of Baron Dumbarton on his infant son immediately but refused in an act of petty narcissism rare in British society. His whining about money, as if fully expecting his countrymen to finance his lifestyle after he objected to carrying out his royal role. And he spouted a lie that he thought the public might consider—that his father and brother were “trapped” in their roles, that their duty was thrust upon them as it was on him, that some devious entity had hijacked their true life paths. What garbage. It was a disingenuous ploy to escape the contempt merited by his failure of character.

In its totality, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex engaged in an act of pure selfishness that bespoke a lack of respect for their family, their country, and the service they had pledged to perform.

One can envision the reaction of the millions of women living in tiny houses or “council housing” trying to lovingly make them into homes for their families, clipping the 99-cent coupon for the roast beast Sunday feast, their mouths agape at the sheer nerve. One can only imagine the murmured comments at the Cavalry and Guards Club or White’s or the Victory Service, as everyone stood around the television in the library sipping single malts; “Well, no more balcony time for them,” “I’ll be damned,” “I wouldn’t have believed it if you had told me.” The pubs must have been silent, pints quietly poured as the Duchess described her awful royal existence from the garden of a nameless estate in the warm sunshine of California as people in London, Cardiff, Aberdeen, and Belfast continue to die from a pandemic in the cold, damp air of a British spring.

Prince Henry Mountbatten-Windsor, Duke of Sussex, seems consigned by his wife or by choice to a life of poolside parties, discussing the finer points of child rearing with his good friends Kanye and Wendy Williams, sipping pinot grigio while passing the appetizers to Fergie (the rapper, not his aunt), discussing the plight of the Ndebele with Lily Cole, and “making shapes” on the dance floor with the rest of the Beverly Hills bric-a-brac. It makes the life of his great-great uncle, the Duke of Windsor, and his wife from Baltimore look absolutely disciplined by comparison.

In Henry V the Bard has the King proclaim outside the walls of Harfleur, “The game’s afoot!” But in Prince Harry’s case, one might be forgiven to suspect that the game has ended.

[d-criss-news]

20 Questions With Darren Criss: How Acting Has Helped Him Make New Music

While Darren Criss has graced our TV screens with a range of characters, from high schooler Blaine Anderson on Glee to serial killer Andrew Cunanan on The Assassination of Gianni Versace, he was last spotted just being himself, on our For You Page on TikTok. “I’m walking to rehearsal with a guitar on my back with a Trader Joe’s bag ... I did not bring an umbrella because I forgot that it was raining. I’m rocking that NYC musician life,” the Glee alum explained in the hilarious clip posted three days ago.

While Criss’ acting work has earned him acclaim and stardom, he leaned into making music during the pandemic. On Aug. 20, he dropped a new EP, Masquerade, featuring five new tracks that Criss says were inspired by the different characters Criss has embraced throughout his career. After Criss wrote songs for his musical comedy web series Royalties and Apple TV+’s animated sitcom Central Park before the pandemic struck the United States, he then used those experiences as a precursor to his new EP. As Criss continues to promote his new music, he answered 20 of Billboard's questions – giving us a peek into how his new EP came together, and how growing up in San Fransisco shaped him as an actor, singer and all-around artist.

1. What inspired your latest project, Masquerade?

Although I would have preferred that it come at a far less grim cost, I finally had the time. Before the pandemic, I had written 10 new songs for my show Royalties -- along with an original song for Disney and another for Apple’s Central Park. These were all assignments in which I was writing for a certain scenario and character. Go figure. It was the most music I had ever written in a calendar year. This really emboldened me to rethink how I made my own music— to start putting a focus on “character creation” in my songs, rather than personal reflection. The latter was not proving to be as productive. The alchemy of having this time and having set a new intention with my own songwriting and producing made me put on a few of my favorite masques and throw myself a Masquerade.

2. How do you think your background as an actor complements your music?

They are one and the same to me. I treat acting roles like musical pieces— dialogue is like scoring a melody; there’s pace, dynamics, cadence, tone. Physical characterization is like producing -- zeroing in on the bass line, deciding on the kick pattern. Vocal characterization is like choosing the right sonic experience, choosing the most effective snare sound, and mixing the high end or low end. It goes without saying that it works in the complete opposite direction. Making each song is taking on a different role literally and employing the use of different masques to maximize the effectiveness of the particular story being told.

3. On Instagram  you wrote that “Masquerade is a small collection of the variety of musical masques that have always inspired me.” Which track do you identify with most in your real life?

Everybody absorbs songs differently. Some key into the lyrics, some into the melody, some the production, some into vocal performance. When I listen to songs, I consider all of their value on totally different scales. So it’s hard to say if there’s any track I “identify” with more than any others, since I -- by nature -- identify with all of them. I think I just identify with certain aspects more than others. If it helps for a more interesting answer, I will say I enjoy the slightly more classical, playful -- dare I say -- more Broadway-leaning wordplay of “Walk of Shame,” but that’s just talking about lyricism. I enjoy the attitude of “F*kn Around,” the batsh--t musicality of “I Can’t Dance,” the relentless grooves of “Let’s” and “For A Night Like This.” All have different ingredients I really enjoy having an excuse to dive into.

4. What’s the first piece of music that you bought for yourself, and what was the medium?

Beatles audio cassettes: “Help” and “Hard Day’s Night.” I just listened on repeat on a tape-playing Walkman until my brother and I got a stereo for our room with a CD player in it, which was  when I just bought the same two albums again, but this time as compact discs.

5. What was the first concert you saw?It’s hard to say, because my parents took us to a lot of classical concerts when we were small. But I guess this question usually refers to what was the first concert you went to on your own volition, and that my friend, was definitely Warped Tour ’01. My brother and I went on our own— two teenagers going to their first music festival, in the golden age of that particular genre and culture. It was f--king incredible.

6. What did your parents do for a living when you were a kid?

My dad was in private banking and advised really, really wealthy people on how to handle their money. My mom was, by choice, a stay-at-home mom, but in reality, she was my dad’s consigliere. They discussed absolutely everything together. They were a real team, and I saw that every single day in the house. They both had a background in finance (That’s how they met in the first place.) and were incredibly skilled at all the hardcore adulting things that I absolutely suck at. They were total finance wizards together. So of course, instead of becoming an accountant, I picked up playing the guitar and ran as far I could with it. Luckily, they were all about it.

7. What was your favorite homecooked meal growing up?

My dad was an incredible chef. For special occasions, I’d request his crab cakes. They were unreal. I’ve never had a crab cake anywhere in the world that was good as my dad’s.

8. Who made you realize you could be an artist full-time?

I don’t know if I’ve actually realized that yet.

9. What’s at the top of your professional bucket list?

The specifics change every day, but the core idea at the top is to continue being consistently inconsistent with my choices, and to keep getting audiences to constantly reconsider their consideration of me. But I mean, sure, what performer doesn’t want to play Coachella? What songwriter doesn’t want to have Adele sing one of their songs? What actor doesn’t want to be in a Wes Anderson film?

10.  How did your hometown/city shape who you are?

San Francisco. I mean, come on. I was really lucky. The older I get, the more grateful I am for just being born and raised there. It’s an incredibly diverse, culturally rich, colorful, inclusive, vibrant city. By the time I was born, it had served as a beacon for millions of creative, out-of-the-box thinkers to gather and thrive. I grew up around that. The combination of that with having parents, who were unbelievably supportive of the arts themselves, laid an incredibly fortunate foundation to consider the life of an artist as a legitimately viable option. It’s a foundation that I am supremely aware is not the case for millions of young artists around the world. I was absurdly lucky.

11.  What’s the last song you listened to?

I mean probably one of mine, but not by choice. I know, lame. But I’m promoting a new EP, what’d you expect? But if you wanna know what I’ve been listening to, as far as new s--t is concerned: a lot of Lizzy McAlpine, Remi Wolf, and Charlie Burg.

12.  If you could see any artist in concert, dead or alive, who would it be?

The Beatles is an obvious "yeah, duh." Sammy Davis, Mel Tormé, or of course, Nat King Cole. I would’ve loved to see Howard Ashman give a lecture on his creative process and his body of work.

13. What’s the wildest thing you’ve seen happen in the crowd of one of your sets?

I feel like just having a crowd at all, at any one of my sets, is pretty wild enough.

14. What’s your karaoke go-to?

The real answer to this I’ll write into a book one day, because I have a lot to say about karaoke etiquette. I have two options here: I can either name a song that I like to sing for me, for fun, or I can name a song that really gets the group going. The answer depends on what kind of karaoke night we’re dealing with here. So I will say, after I’ve selected a ton of songs that services a decent enough party vibe for everyone else, then I would do one for me, and that would be the Beatles’ “Oh! Darling.”

15. What’s one thing your most devoted fans don’t know about you?

What I have up my sleeve.

16. What TV show did you binge-watch over the past year?

Dave is a stroke of genius. There are episodes that I believe are bona fide masterpieces. Also, My Brilliant Friend is a masterclass in cinematic television.

17. What movie, or song, always makes you cry?

It’s A Wonderful Life.

18. What’s one piece of advice you would give to your younger self?

Get used to sharing everything about yourself and your life now, or more astutely, to the idea that you don’t necessarily get to control how your life is shared. I know it’s not really your thing, but you’re gonna have to get used to it, so start building up those calluses now. And don’t worry, all the stuff you love now will be cool again in your mid-thirties, so keep some of those clothes because you’ll be a full-blown fashion icon if you just keep wearing exactly what you’re wearing. Oh nd also, put money into Apple and Facebook.

19.  What new hobby did you take on in the last year?

I’ve always been a linguaphile. My idea of leisure time is getting to study or review other languages. This past year, I took the time to finally dive into learning how to read, write, and speak Japanese. Other than making music, it was one of the biggest components of my 2020-2021.

20. What do you hope to accomplish or experience by the end of 2021?

I hope I get to play live shows again.

[elfboyeros]

Misako: The Most hated Character in Ninjago

Misako Garmadon! Wife of Garmadon and mother to green ninja Lloyd, but also the most hated character in the Ninjago roster!

Not only because she abandoned her son at Darkely Boarding School for Bad Boys in an effort to discover a way for her evil husband and choose one son not to have a fight to the death. Which seems sound, besides leaving your son at a Boarding School, instead of with his uncle who seems pretty capable of taking care of a child (I’ll get into that in a bit). Although I'll play devil’s advocate for a minute and say it was so Lloyd didn’t think his father was the massive piece shit that everyone could/would make him out to be.

Although in Misako’s debut episode: The Stone Army, Lloyd shows disdain for his mother, because she abandoned him, which is more than fair! Although it only takes him a small little history lesson, goes more in-depth about his own prophecy to forgive her and treat her like a mother for the rest of the series because it makes sense to leave your son at Boarding School instead of HIS OWN UNCLE!

Now we know from Season 5 of the series that Wu is more than capable of taking care of the kid(s) given his experience with Morro. Although let me play devil’s advocate, once again in Misako’s favor, and say that given the fact that Morro later ran away in his pursuit to become the boy in green and went missing/died made Misako apprehensive to Wu take care of a child.

*(I don’t think that would make much sense because she states in her debut episode that she KNEW that Lloyd would be the green ninja before even Wu. The only reason she does not leave Lloyd with him is: her wanting to put off the fulfillment of the prophecy.)

It seems very odd that Misako’s poor parenting is never addressed beyond at most a 5-minute conversation, and quickly dismissed like it didn’t happen is very lacking. I understand this show is for children and trying to explain why her actions of “protection” are bad would possibly be difficult, trying to pass her actions off as if they didn’t happen is another case of bad writing.

Besides her horrible actions as a mother, she had made some other choice actions as a person in general in regards to Wu especially. Misako is established to be Garmadon’s wife, although estranged, and obviously that they (with the confines of a children show) loved each other enough to have a child! Although in the episode The Day Ninjago Stood Still It is implied that Wu has feelings for Misako (and he has since they met) and that Misako may reciprocate as she even states “I should have chosen you,” to Wu they are alone. But once the Overlord is defeated in Season 2 and Garmadon is relinquished of his “evil part,” Misako and Garmadon rebuild their relationship for the two-season good daddy Garm is around. Although the rebuilding is promptly destroyed when it is revealed that Garmadon forged his name on a love letter Wu wrote Misako, making him a bit of a liar and a coward (how Misako was able to get the two sons of God to fall in love in with her in the first place, and I can’t get a simple match a Bumble anymore is fucking beyond me!). And dispute the fact at Garmadon sacrifices himself for the name of all that is holy in the episode The Corridor of Elders, instead of I don’t know morning you husband who loved you despite his fault and attempted to make up for it and showing that he truly cared for his son when he was evil and then even greater father when he was good, Misako is promptly up Wu’s ass the following seasons.

The only parents that we can compare Misako to are Ray and Maya, As Ed and Eda along with Dr. Julien are extremely good parents to their children. Lou’s major fault with Cole was projection and the want Cole to follow in his feet which is resolve in his debut episode The Royal Blacksmiths, letting the two of them have a good relationship, and little is know about Jay birth parent to conclude why they abandoned him, do it was being unwise to try to say that are the extremely horrible people if we don’t have context.

Although we can only really compare Ray and Maya in a broad sense. Technically Ray and Maya did abandon their kids, but they were also coerced and kidnapped into doing so by Krux to make his armor and weapons. Although, because of, I guess, a step in the right direction for the writing of this show. Ray and Maya's abandonment of their children is addressed in the new season of the series where Nya is upset about Maya trying to be motherly towards her. Nya is under the belief that Maya has no right to act this way given the fact that she was not there for Nya's childhood to be the mother that she wants to be now.

The writing fails Misako here, Lloyd is upset about seeing his mother for at most 5 fucking minutes and then treats her as if she is the best parent he ever fucking had. Adding the fact that it seems like She wants to be with at least one of the sons of God and can’t make up her damn mind.

I could understand if Lloyd wanted at least one good relationship with a parent, give the circumstances at the time, but this is never said or addressed, and I understand the meaning of hindsight and Misako telling Wu that she should have chosen him over Garmadon was her having hindsight after the fact. As well as think that if she chooses Wu the events of the series would not have happened, allowing her to raise a son instead of abandoning him. Although where that may fit in the context of that one line, don't think it justifies all of the implied love that both characters share, at that point, it isn't hindsight.

It really is that Misako’s whole is to cause conflict (a complaint made by @hiddensneker ) and to give exposition and despite this and whatever she has tried to do to make up for her actions this doesn’t change the fact that Misako Montgomery Garmadon is one of the most hated characters in Ninjago.

[toomanyfandoms02]

The Mission // Spencer Reid x Reader

Sooooo this was SUPPOSE to be a blurb for @andiebeaword BUT it ended up being much longer than that, my bad.

Summary - Spencer and Reader must act like a married couple at a party in order to get information on a hitman. They may do more than needed to prove being a married couple.

Word count - 2.7k

Prompts - "If we die, I'm going to kill you." ~~~ "You have a dirty mind." ~~~ "These heels are peeling off my **skin**. But yes, keep complaining about your tag you whine ass." ~~~ "Wow, I can't imagine being that rich! How old are his kids, maybe I can date one."

It was a well-known fact that I loved partnering with Spencer. We could always joke around and make eachother feel better, even when working the bad cases. But I feel like this was a little ridiculous.

"Are you shitting me?" The words slipped from my mouth so easily, which I immediatly regretted. Spencer gave me *the look* and elbowed my side.

"I'm sorry Y/n, you and Spencer are the two people who are the most compatible to seem like a couple, and we need hard proof before we arrest him." Hotch explained with his usual amount of enthusiasm.

None.

"Hotch, this guy is dangerous and we will be in there without vests, is what I believe y/n is trying to say." Spencer leaned back in his seat, flipping through the mans file.

"We will have sharp-shooters pointing through every window at him in case anything gets out of hand. This is non negotiable." And with that, he left.

"Well, clearly we have no choice." I stood from my seat, flattening my skirt. "I'm gonna go home and get an outfit ready. You aren't wearing that to the party either." I pointed to his outfit.

"What's wrong with my outfit?!" He scoffed, hugging his sweater vest.

"Okay, one, this isn't some dingy hole in the wall. And two, even if it was, you don't go to a nice party looking like someone who has 3 PhD's in the first place." The smirk on my lips grew wider as he feigned offense.

"Fine, I'll find something nicer to wear. I'll pick you up at 7 and tell the team to meet us there." I agreed and left the conference room a little grumpy, quickly making a bee line to the elevator before anyone could comment on my mood.

-

I stared at the 3 dresses in front of me. They were all the same style, but different colors.

White, yellow, and olive green.

I wasn't sure why I was having so much trouble picking a *color*. I always say that I dress for myself, which is what I was trying to do right now.

Right?

I totally wasn't thinking back to that conversation I had with Spencer a few weeks ago.

-

*"Y/n!" Emily looked at me with surprise. "You look so beautiful in white! Why don't you wear it more?" She was right, I never wore it. Me and Penelope were pretty known for wearing many colors, mine just had to be paired with a black skirt.*

*"I'm so clumsy." I laughed. "I live in constant fear that I'll spill coffee on it. Hence why I'm not holding a cup of joe."*

*"I agree with Emily, you look nice in white." Spencer chimed in. "You know the psychological meaning of white is purity, innocence, wholeness and completion. In color psychology, white is the color of new beginnings, of wiping the slate clean, so to speak." He then took a sip of his coffee.*

*"Yeah well I don't know about the innocent part." I giggled, looking to Emily who gave me a shrug and nod. Spencer choked a bit on his coffee. "You alright there Spence?" He saluted me and headed to his desk, which put me and Emily into a fit of giggles.*

-

I reluctantly grabbed the white one, silently hoping that I was less of a klutz tonight.

The satin dress slipped on me easily. It came down to about 2 or so inches above my knees and had thin straps. I paired it with some semi-transparent heels and called it a day. I put on a little heavier makeup to look the part. Foundation, winged eyeliner, blush, highlight, and mascara. Lastly, I tied my hair up in a simple straightened pony-tail.

By the time my indecisive ass was done choosing everything, it was nearly 7 and I knew that Spence would be early. My heels clicked as I walked on my wood floors, heading to the front door. Getting there just in time to hear a knock. I must have startled him by opening it so fast because he stumbled back a bit. He wore a nice white button up and tighter pants than usual, paired with nice black oxfords.

And then he just stood there.

I waved my hand in front of his face.

"Hi!" He shook his head a bit. "Hello there, back to Earth I see. Do you wanna come in and have a glass of water before this whole event, since you are," I leaned back into my doorway to look at the time. "12 minutes early?"

"Oh, yeah sure." I cleared the way so he could walk in. I shook the heels from my feet, taking me down at least three inches before stepping into the kitchen. I grabbed two glasses.

"Do you want ice?" I turned to him, he was sitting at my island. He just shook his head. "Okay." I laughed, putting ice in mine and just filling his with water. The glass clinked as it hit the island in front of him. "You're pretty quiet, are you okay?" The tips of his ears reddened.

"Yeah! I'm just a little nervous, you?" He swiftly brought the water to his lips, guzzling it down like he hadn't drank anything in days. He then stood up.

"Of course I'm nervous." I came around to his side of the counter and swooned into his arms. "But I'll have a great protector there." He smiled down at me with a shake of his head, standing me back up.

Now it's time to head out.

-

We pulled up to the location in Spencer's Volvo, which was incredibly nice to ride in. ~~and I would love to get use to riding in it~~.

"Okay, I have one thing to fix with your outfit." I turned to him before we exited the car. His eyes narrowed at this comment. I leaned forward and unbuttoned two buttons. "Now you look like your going to a party."

"Thank you expert. Stay in the car, I'm going to open your door, the bouncer works with him and we have to go all out on this act." He nodded his head at the bouncer a few yards away.

I wish this wasn't an act.

He opened the door, offering his hand. I took it with a gracious smile, interlacing our fingers. We walked up to the bouncer, who had an ipad with the guest list in hand. Penelope had hacked into their list and added our names, well fake names.

"Mr and Mrs. Adler." Spencer spoke as I leaned into his side. The man scrolled through the list, he tapped our names and opened the door.

It opened to a large room, filled with dozens of people. I leaned up on my tippy toes and whispered into Spencer's ear.

"If we die, I'm going to kill you." I pulled away with a smile, patting his shoulder. His Adam's apple bobbed while he gulped. "So, what's this guys networth, I mean he seems pretty damn rich to throw a party like this." He looked down at me quizzically. "I know you know what it is, I'm sure you have researched him extensively. So what is it?"

"6.2 million dollars." He recited, looking towards the crowd, scanning for the man in question.

"Wow, I can't imagine being that rich! How old are his kids, maybe I can date one."

"Be careful what you say, someone might think we are suspicious." He pulled me into his side, kissing the top of my head.

This night is going to be agonizing. "There he is." We made our way to him slowly, stopping at small drink stations. Just as we were about to get to some seats near him, a server came up to us.

"Hello! Welcome. Would you guys like anything?" She handed Spencer a very small menu. I could see the slight confusion in his eyes. It was truly a weird thing to do at such a big party.

*Salad*

*Potato Soup*

*Fruit Bowl*

*Veggie Bowl*

"I'll have a salad, and the lady will have a fruit bowl." He pointed to the seats we were on our way to. "We will be over there. Thank you." He put his hand on the small of my back, leading us to the seats.

"How did you know I wanted a fruit bowl?"

"You bring some kind of fruit cup to work every day, I'm observant." Right as we were about to sit down, another couple took the seats, not even noticing that we were heading there.

"Well damn. I say we stand next to his table until our food gets here, then we go to the other corner of the room and observe, then we catch him making the deal." I led him to the space by the table. After just a few minutes of waiting, the young lady who took our orders he returned, holding a small bowl of salad and a fruit bowl.

"Have a good night!" She chimed, how can someone be so happy with so many people around?

We ventured to the other side of the room, I grabbed two glasses of champagne from another server on the way. I peered at Spencer over the skinny glass, he was staring at his salad.

"What, is there something wrong?"

"Why is there so much white stuff on it? It's not ranch, I know what ranch looks like." My giggle was muffled slightly by the glass.

"That's what she said." He raised one eyebrow. Then a look of realization came over his face.

"You have a dirty mind." He mixed together the salad to distribute the 'white stuff'. We subtly stared every once in a while over at the mans table.

His name was Anton Todd, but his customers called him Ton. He was someone who frequently assassinated people. He was a hitman to be exact. We had an outside source tell us that a new customer would be coming in to request business, so we could kill two birds with one stone.

So far the man we knew as Cole Kamargo had not come to ask for Antons *services* yet. We had been standing in this corner of the room for a while, just watching him. That's when I caught his eye.

His gaze was terrifying, it struck me right through my soul, and I just couldn't stop looking. He squinted at me, tilting his head. Spencer shook my shoulder.

"Y/n, stop staring at him." It was like being lost in someone's eyes in the worst way possible. I watched as he stood from the table, making his way over with a sour look on his face.

"Shit shit shit shit." I mumbled as he got closer.

"Shit is right. Do you trust me?" I kept my eyes on the man.

"Of course." He grabbed my hips, pushing me against the wall behind us and kissed me hard. He trailed his left hand up to the back of my neck, holding me there. I gasped in surprise, leading him to slip his tongue in my mouth. Meaning we were full on making out. I pushed my hands into his hair, gladly accepting the kiss and sighing into it. Suddenly, Spencer was pulled from me. And there he stood.

Anton.

"Tell your girl to stop fuckin' staring at me." He spat, glaring at me.

"Sorry sir, my wife has ADHD, she zones out frequently." He rushed to my side and pulled me into his side protectively. Anton rolled his eyes and left the area.

I looked up at Spencer, his cheeks were a deep shade of red, and he was touching his lips.

"Thank you. Also, you're a good kisser." I remarked, nudging his side a bit. He looked down at me with wide eyes. "What? Am I not allowed to compliment your kissing? It's good!" I laughed heartily, looping my arm into his.

"Ditto." A smile grew on his lips. I could get use to this. Spencer noticed an available seat near us, so he sat patting his lap.

"Excuse me?"

"Come sit on my lap!" He chuckled.

"I'm glad your getting use to the idea of me being your *wife*." I sat on his lap, leaning my head back onto his shoulder. My hands made their way to the heel of my foot, slightly slipping my shoe off. "These heels are from Satan I think." I rubbed at the sore skin.

"My tag is itchy." Spencer pulled at his collar, relieving the so called *itch*.

"These heels are peeling off my **skin**. But yes, keep complaining about your tag you whine ass." He turned his head to me, kissing my cheek.

"I'm sorry, I can put some neosporin on it when we get home. I mean, when we get-get you home." He stuttered, the tips of his ears once again turning an extravagant shade of red. I kissed his jaw.

"Thank you *baby*." We were then interrupted by a woman next to us.

"How long have you guys been married?" The lady leaned over the booth, a ring was clearly shown on her finger.

"8 years." I answered quickly, before Spencer could say a contradicting answer.

"Wow! You guys look so young to be together so long. How do you guys keep it so... so beautiful?" She tilted her head at the question.

"What do you mean?" I asked, reaching my hand into Spencer's hair and playing with it momentarily.

"You seem so in love. You act like teenagers, I don't think I've looked that in love with my husband since we first met." She huffed.

"You just have to find someone who's easy to love." He leaned his head on mine. "I've never had a doubt in my mind that she was the one." The words stuck with me, I felt like they would be embedded in my soul for eternity.

"I think I need to get a divorce." She sunk into the seat, I watched as her husband come back and sat with her, she gave him a weak smile.

"Okay, we need to leave this area before we become homewreckers." I whispered, pulling him to his feet and fleeing into another direction. "We must be amazing actors." I laughed nervously.

"Yeah, actors." He murmered, but before I could comment on it, I saw Cole making his way to Anton.

"Spencer! It's Cole!" I screeched quietly. We discreetly made our way near the table, quickly catching the conversation and relaying it to Hotch.

Cole spoke of the horrible things he wanted done to his wife, it made me sick.

"FBI, get on the ground!" I pulled my gun from the left holster that Spencer had for me. I couldn't exactly *hide* a gun on this white dress. Spencer pulled his gun as well.

"We have you surrounded by sharpshooters aimed and ready to fire, so I suggest that you comply." Morgan came in soon, cuffing the both of them and leading the men to cars.

We now remained outside, sitting on the stairs of the large building.

"I enjoyed being your husband for a night." Spencer laughed, nudging my shoulder.

"And I enjoyed being your wife." I played with the fake ring on my finger. "Okay. Fuck it. Did you mean any of the things you said in there?" The words spat from my mouth quickly.

"Like what?" His voice was shaky.

"Like, that you never had a doubt that I was the one. Or was that part of the act. I would totally understand if it was, you're an amazing actor if it was because it honestly had me believing-" He put his finger to my lips.

"Yes, I meant it."

"Thank God." I grabbed his jaw with both hands and brought him to my lips. He smiled into the kiss, deepening it. His hands ran up and down my back slowly.

"I wouldn't mind doing this every day." He remarked, gesturing between our lips.

"I wouldn't either pretty boy."

[akindofmagictoo]

Talking about outlining with memes got me wondering - how do you like outlining and planning? Do you have a system? Does it vary story to story? Inquiring minds want to know! :-)

hello! thank you for the ask!

ok so if you head to this post you can hear about my outlining process on Hurricane (and I haven't written another outline for it since, so that holds)

this is what I have done for Dragonsong:

I think of it as "instructions to future me", otherwise known as "telling" the story with no showing. the length/proportions vary, but for example this:

Late the next morning, they’re all upright enough to eat around the building’s ground floor table where Aurelia and Jasper usually eat and cook etc. They’re all still on the tired side, to be fair, but they’re upright and eating. Cole is having some difficulty, but he’s still also upright, and he’s being helped.

became this:

Some of the exhaustion was gone from her. The others, too, seemed to be feeling better. They all managed to stagger down to the ground floor room where Aurelia and Jasper usually cooked and ate. None of them were in shape to fight anything, although Isi might have managed a very sluggish capybara.

As was to be expected, Cole was having some difficulties, but he was nonetheless upright and eating with some help, and Isi was glad of it. The food was hardly interesting, since Jasper didn’t usually have to cook for eight, but Isi was too hungry to care. Silence fell around the table as they ate instead of talking.

or this:

When Isi comes to, she’s in a room. And very confused. She sits up, which makes her head spin, and someone tells her to take it easy. She wants to know where she is; the voice (whose owner she can’t see yet) explains that she (and Jasper) heard the explosion and went to investigate. They found Sierra the only person upright and conscious, and even she looked the worse for wear, and brought them all in. So all of Isi’s friends are here too.

Sierra was not super keen on this but didn’t have much other choice.

Isi still wants to know where she is and who’s speaking. It turns out they’re in a town right near where they brought down the barrier spell, and she’s speaking with one of the town’s resident knights — a pretty recent posting in fact, who reveals she knows Isi (and calls her Tor Isadora). She’s on the small slight side, with pale blonde hair tied up in a bun, and introduces herself as Aurelia. (Does she have any kind of nickname?)

became this:

Isi opened her eyes to be greeted by a dark wood ceiling. She was in a room of some sort, lying in a… bed? This wasn’t where she’d been last she checked. What?

She sat up abruptly. Bedcovers slid off her. Her head spun.

“Be careful,” said a soft voice to her left.

The room was too dark to see the owner of the voice. Isi frowned. “Where am I?”

“Jasper and I heard the explosion and went to investigate. We found you and your friends and brought you back here.” The speaker paused, then continued, “Your friends are down the hall.”

The sheets under her fingers felt oddly familiar. Isi bunched the material into her hands. “Where am I? Who are you?”

“This is the birdhouse and knights’ quarters,” the voice continued.

Knights’ quarters. That was why something felt familiar. A match flared, then a wick. Isi flinched at the sudden brightness and shut her eyes. Slowly, she opened one eye, then the other.

Golden light now spread through the room, enough to see the speaker by. She was small and slight—if Isi had to guess, she would barely come up to her shoulder—with pale blonde hair tied into a bun. “I’m Tor Aurelia.” She smiled nervously. “And you’re Tor Isadora.”

my outline involves me talking to myself and being very casual. it often doesn't involve a lot of dialogue (unless I come up with a particularly top tier line), just the gist of the conversation. it depends on the scene and how clear an idea I have, but I will try and get some kind of thing down for every single scene. at minimum, a paragraph describing what goes down. some other sections get very long.

I also like to use a dashed list to add extra information that's kind of notes to myself that isn't quite relevant to write into the scene itself, but is important to know. (or stuff I don't know where to put)

in terms of process... I usually start with an inciting incident/concept and a handful of characters. for Dragonsong, it was the idea of a female knight choosing not to kill a baby dragon, and came with Isi, Robin and Enya. (not named, just concepts)

then I worked out Act 1 (up to Isi quitting her job), then kinda figured out the end... and then it was a mixture of worldbuilding and outlining, out of order, from there until I had everything I felt I needed!

(and now as I write I am creeping up on the climax... but battle plans are hard)

[pennylanefics]

Baby Girl - Finn Cole

a/n: thanks to the anon who sent this idea in :) i don’t think this is written well, but it is super sweet

•••

Finn laid next to you, cuddled up in your arms, his hand resting on your stomach. You two just found out exciting yet scary news that you were pregnant. It wasn’t planned, which is why you, mostly, were nervous. You had no idea what the future would hold, all you knew was that Finn was so happy.

“Love, are you doing okay?” Finn asks in a soft voice. He gazes up at you, rubbing his thumb against the fabric of your t-shirt.

“Yeah, just thinking.” He sits up and leans against the headboard, staring at you with curiosity.

“About what?” This is where you had to tell him you were terrified. In all of the joy and celebration over the fact that you were becoming a family, you didn’t realize all of the hardships that were to come. You weren’t that young, both of you in your mid-to-late twenties, so you were well off and prepared financially, but the idea of being a mother was scaring you.

“Everything. Will I even be a good mother? Will something happen before my due date that puts them or me at risk? Will I even make it to the second trimester without a misscarriage?”

“Hey, hey, hey,” Finn coos, pulling you into his chest and rocking gently side to side. His hand strokes your hair softly, in a comforting way.

“You need to not stress out. We’ll get through this, love. You’re going to be an amazing mother, I know it. You are always so good with my nieces and nephews, I know you’re going to be the best mum, there’s no doubt in my mind.” A small smile makes its way onto your lips and you snuggle closer to Finn.

“You think so?”

“I know so. We’re going to be great parents. I can’t wait till we have our small family.”

“Can we get a cat too?” Finn sighs dramatically and at that moment, Molly jumps up onto the bed.

“We already have Molly.”

“She’s yours, though. You got her when we weren’t together. This cat will be ours.”

“We’ll see in a couple months.”

“I’ll ask you when I’m ready to pop and you can’t say no to me,” you joke, making Finn laugh, since he knew full well that you were telling the truth; there was no way he could say no to anything when you’re about to give birth to his child.

—

You were now four months along and ready to find out the sex of the baby. You and Finn weren’t up for waiting weeks to find out with a reveal party, so you decided to just find out the old-fashioned way, while at the doctor’s appointment.

“Hi, how are you feeling?” Your doctor comes in with a smile on her face. You return the gesture and lay back on the table, Finn by your head.

“I’m feeling great.”

“Any nausea?”

“Some, but it’s only triggered by certain foods and scents, so I’ve been cautious and staying away from them.”

“That’s good. Any other pains, cramps, problems that you’ve had so far?”

“Nope. Everything’s good.”

“Great. So you know the drill, I’m gonna have you lay back and put the gel on your stomach.” You do as she says, feeling the cool gel on your warm skin.

Finn holds your hand, squeezing it gently.

“I’m so excited,” he whispers, making your doctor chuckle.

“It is a pretty exciting thing. You’re the most eager dad I’ve seen today.”

“Yeah, Finn’s very ecstatic for this appointment. He’s been up early just waiting to leave.” She moves the wand around your stomach, searching for the baby. Within a few minutes, a heartbeat rings out in the room.

Even though he’s heard it before at a couple appointments, Finn can’t help but tear up every single time. His grip tightens a bit and you look behind you, up at him. His smile is huge and his eyes are filled with adoration.

“Would you like to know the sex?” Your doctor asks.

“Yes,” both you and Finn reply at the same time. She looks back to the monitor, continuing to examine the picture before turning back to you two.

“Congratulations, it’s a girl!” Finn has to keep himself from falling to the ground upon hearing that he has a daughter. He’s always dreamed of having a daughter, and he was really hoping that your child would be one. And now his dream was coming true.

“Holy shit,” he breathes out, tears involuntarily streaming down his cheeks. “We’re having a little girl.”

“We are,” you beam, pulling him down to hug him. He holds you tightly as the doctor prints some photos and cleans you up.

“We have to go shopping,” Finn says to you as soon as you get into the car.

“What?”

“We have to go buy stuff for her.”

“Finn, we have five more months to buy things.”

“I know, but can we?” He was basically acting like a little kid wanting to go to the toy store. But seeing how he reacted to having a girl, you couldn’t say no. As soon as you agree, he puts the car in drive and begins his way to the store.

You two spend a good hour in there, Finn picking out an insane amount of onesies, bows and shoes. He even picks out a few toys for her, even though she won’t play with them until she was months old.

“Okay, I don’t think we need anymore onesies or clothes,” you say as you put everything you bought into a box labeled “baby” for her nursery that you two would be fixing up in the coming months.

“I couldn’t help myself. Everything is so cute and I’m so excited to see her in them,” he replies, falling onto the bed. Once you finish, you join him, curling up in his arms.

“It’s all pretty adorable.” Finn’s hand goes right to your belly, a habit that increased in the past month, and stares down at you.

“I’m so thankful that you’re giving me a daughter, giving us a daughter. I can’t begin to explain how much it means to me,” he whispers.

“Well, you are the one that got me pregnant, so I really have no choice.” You both laugh, but you know what he means.

“I love you, Finn. There’s no one else in the world that I want to start a family with.”

“I love you too, darling. And I already love our little girl so much.”

—

You were on the couch, relaxing for night after a day of work. Thankfully, you weren’t in too much pain, but you were exhausted, even though you only worked about four to five hours. Finn was filming in the city for the day, so you were alone until he got home.

It had been raining all day, so Finn stumbles inside, soaked to the bone.

“Hi love,” he breathes out, dropping his things to the floor. He shrugs his coat off and rubs his hands together for some warmth.

“Did you walk home or something?” You wonder, sitting up. His hair was dripping wet and his cheeks were slightly tinted pink.

“Yeah. I took the underground to the city and couldn’t hail a cab home because of the rain.”

“Why don’t you go take a shower to warm up and I’ll make you a cup of tea and some cookies.”

“That sounds lovely, thank you.” Finn disappears into your bedroom and you get up to make his drink.

About ten minutes later, Finn returns, dressed in pajamas and drying his hair with a small towel. You just finished pouring the hot water over the bag of tea in the two glasses as he comes up behind you, resting his hands on your stomach.

“I missed you both today,” he mumbles into your neck. Giggling, you turn around to give him a proper hug.

“We missed you too.”

“Has she kicked yet? I feel like I’m missing out on so much.”

Finn hated that he still had to work during this time, but you assured him that he wasn’t missing too much. She was moving around, but she has yet to kick. That is, until tonight.

You two cuddle up on the couch and once Finn finishes his tea and cookies, he lays down, resting his head in your lap. He doesn’t care much about the TV, so he faces your bump, his hands laying on it, waiting for something to happen.

Your hands were tangled in his hair, playing with it absentmindedly as you watched a movie. Suddenly, Finn sits up, eyes going wide and his jaw dropping a bit. You know exactly what he’s excited about.

“You felt that?” You smile, placing your hands on the spot you felt the kick come from.

“Yeah.” His smile is huge and his eyes are locked on your stomach. Lifting your shirt, you put his hands back on it, hoping that she would kick again.

“Come on, baby girl. Kick for us, we wanna feel it,” he whispers against your bump.

“You gotta be patient, Finn. She’ll do it again.” Soon enough, she kicks right against Finn’s hand, making his tears fall.

“Oh my gosh, this is amazing,” he blubbers. Through the past six months, Finn’s been super emotional and loving, which means he’s been crying a lot more; it doesn’t bother you, it only shows that he’s so happy and so ready for this.

He goes back to laying down, continuing to run his hands all over your bump to get her to keep moving and reacting. He even sang quietly, which she loved because she started to move around a lot more.

You could tell she was definitely going to be a daddy’s girl.

—

As the months continue to pass, Finn becomes even more affectionate, if that’s possible. He gives you massages and foot rubs whenever you want, he runs you baths almost every night to help you relax, especially at the end of your pregnancy; he tries to make you rest as much as you can, which is why you didn’t help with the nursery.

He got his brothers to help him paint and put together furniture while you laid around, per Finn’s requests, since you were “doing enough by just growing her”. They painted the room grey and green and decorated with elephants, since both of you didn’t want something too focused on pink or blue, as colors have no gender.

It was a long day for them, but once it was finished, Finn was so happy and everything was starting to feel real. You spend the rest of the night putting away her clothes in drawers and organizing diapers, bows, everything that you bought and got from your baby shower.

“I’m so ready for her to get here,” Finn whispers as he wraps his arms around your body.

“Me too. She’ll be here soon. I feel like I’m ready to pop.” He chuckles and kisses your neck, smiling when he feels small kicks and movement from your bump.

“She seems excited, too.”

“I’m still really nervous.” Finn turns you around and brings you in for a sweet kiss.

“I’m going to be right by your side the entire time. Tomorrow’s my last day of filming, and then I’m all yours. You have nothing to worry about. We’re going to a great hospital with amazing doctors, you’ll be safe and so will she.” You’ve voiced your concerns about labor to Finn a while ago, when you attended lamaze classes together; that’s when everything started to feel real and you had to come with the fact that this baby was going to have to come out.

“You think so?” Finn nods and kisses you again, then presses his lips all over your face. Once he finishes, he falls to his knees, lifting your shirt up to expose your bump.

“I do. I’m sure that you’ll push through it with ease. You’re so incredibly strong, I know you’ll do great.” His lips roam all over your stomach, his hands doing the same, following in the path of his lips.

—

“Finn?!” You scream out, trying to sit up in bed. He was working around the house, cleaning things up and doing the laundry. Within seconds, he comes running in, a panicked expression on his face.

“What? What’s wrong, love?” He is by your side, wanting to help you with whatever.

“My water finally broke.” He helps you stand and removes the sheets to wash them later, or he would have Joe do it when he comes to check on Molly.

Finn first helps you change your pants, slipping on a pair of his sweats before grabbing the hospital bag and walking down the stairs with you as slow as you need to.

He stays calm the entire time, knowing that you’d be freaking out enough for the both of you, so he wanted to stay calm for your sake. After arriving at the hospital and getting dressed in a gown, things start to settle down, and that’s when the waiting game begins. Finn texts his family to let them know that you’ve gone into labor, but don’t want any visitors at the time.

It’s a long and painful day, and as Finn promised, he is right by your side. When you need help getting through a contraction, he is there for you. When you aren’t comfortable, he tries to fix whatever you need fixed. He massages your shoulders and legs when you get a cramp, he wipes the sweat from your forehead, anything you need.

Finally, after over twenty-four hours in labor, your baby girl is finally here. You were crying non-stop, partially from the pain, partially from the emotions running through you. Finn was super supportive though. Once your body relaxed, he wipes away the dried and fresh tears with his thumb, hearing the sounds of your baby through the room.

They cleaned her up a little bit before placing her on your chest, which was covered with a cloth. Finn began to cry as well, finally seeing his daughter for the first time.

“She’s so beautiful,” he whispers, stroking her forehead. They call him over to cut the cord, then take her away to get cleaned up and measured.

“I am so damn proud of you, love,” Finn whispers against your forehead. He leaned down to hug you, his arm going around your shoulder. Yours wrap around his back, crying even more at his voice.

“You did such a great job. You’re so fucking strong and I can’t believe we have our Flora now. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Finn. I’m so glad that’s over with,” you mumble through sobs. He chuckles through his tears as well and kisses your sweaty head.

Two days go by and you and Finn are ready to leave the hospital. And things don’t get any easier once you’re at home.

As soon as you step foot in the door, you are heading right towards the shower, still feeling gross from a couple days ago. Finn takes this opportunity to show your newborn daughter around the house, being careful of Molly’s excitement.

When you are clean and dressed, you walk into the living room to find Finn sitting with Molly on the couch, with your daughter in her car seat on the coffee table.

“Hey,” you whisper, taking a seat next to him. “What did you do while I was gone?”

“I showed her around the house. Showed her our bedroom, her bedroom, the backyard, introduced Molly to her.” You look over at the dog and see that she’s staring at the newborn in wonder.

“She’s going to love her new sister.” Finn turns his attention to you and he is still so in awe of you.

“I’m so in love with you,” he murmurs, kissing your cheek and jaw line. “Thank you for giving us a beautiful little girl.”

Of course, that peace doesn’t last long. As soon as she wakes up from her nap, you change her and put her in a different onesie. To give you and Finn some rest, you place her in her crib for the night and head back to your room, turning the monitor on. You finally relax and snuggle up into your boyfriend’s arms.

Around two in the morning, Flora’s piercing scream sounds through the monitor, though Finn is fast asleep. You get up and trudge to her room across the hall. Picking her up, you realize that she’s hungry, so you take a seat in the rocking chair.

Since it was rather warm in the house, you discard your shirt fully and begin feeding her, making sure she stays latched to your breast and is getting what she needs. Your head falls against the back of the chair and your eyes close, exhaustion creeping back into you.

Finn soon realizes that you’re not beside him, yet his baby’s cries didn’t wake him. So, he gets up and goes to find you, seeing that the nursery door is cracked open, he investigates. He peeps through the crack, finding you rocking in the chair, half awake, feeding your daughter.

He quietly steps inside, trying to stay unknown, but he is given away by the floor creaking underneath his feet. Your head snaps up, but you relax once you see it’s only Finn.

“Hi,” you whisper, offering him a small smile. “Flora was hungry.”

He moves the ottoman of the rocking chair to sit next to you, stroking Flora’s hair as softly as ever. You glance at him and notice the pure love in his eyes; a look he’s only ever given you.

“I can’t get over how beautiful she is,” he whispers. His fingers dance down her head, to your arm, and landing on your thigh. “And she’s all ours.”

“I know,” you grin, staring down at her. She keeps her tiny eyes on you, a content look in them as she eats. “She’s so precious.”

You continue to feed her and Finn stays in his spot, watching you two in adoration. When she finishes, he takes her from you and begins to burp her gently. You slip your shirt back on and stay seated, resting your eyes once more. Finn spends a couple minutes with her in his arms before setting her down in her crib. She rustles for a few seconds before settling back down, full and clean and ready for sleep.

You stand and come up behind Finn, who can’t take his eyes off of her just yet.

“You know,” he begins, his voice quiet, “I never thought I could love someone as much as I love you.” Since you were still very emotional, you couldn’t help but tear up.

“Finn, stop,” you sob. He chuckles and turns around to hug you close to him.

“I mean it. I knew I was going to love Flora no matter what, but I didn’t expect it to be so…” His own tears interrupt his little speech and you two just stand there, embracing one another during this new experience.

“You two are my world. Ten years ago, I would have never guessed that I would be with someone I care for and love so much, let alone have a daughter with them. And now I have both of those.”

“I love you too, Finn.”

“Even though you made me try some of your weird ass cravings last month.” You giggle through your tears and look up at him.

“Hey. Don’t blame me, blame your daughter. She’s the one who gave them to me.”

“Meh. I’d rather blame you. You were there at the time, and look how precious she is! I can’t hate on her.”

“Oh but you can hate on me?” Finn laughs and shrugs his shoulders.

“No, I can’t. But I need to blame someone, and she’s not even a week old yet. She doesn’t even know she exists.”

“Fair. Now come on, let’s head back to bed before we wake her up.” Finn takes your hand and walks you back to your room, helping you climb into bed and bringing you into his arms once both of you are comfortable.

“(Y/N)?” FInn wonders.

“Hm?”

“What do you think Flora will be like?” You think for a moment, feeling Finn’s fingertips run up and down underneath your shirt, making you even more tired.

“I think she’ll be just like you. Caring, honest, extremely loving, insanely sweet.” A small smile tugs at his lips as he thinks about the future of you three.

“I think she’s going to look just like you,” he whispers. “She’s going to have your beautiful eyes, your hair, and your nose.”

“No, she’ll definitely have your nose. And lips,” you say, reaching up to kiss both of them.

“I can’t wait for the future,” he murmurs against your lips after pulling you back in for a longer kiss.

[needlepcint]

INTRODUCING...

          HALLE BAILEY, CIS WOMAN, 20, SHE / HER   ⟨  ✽  ⟩   hey, you haven’t bumped into nia williams lately, have you ? they have been living here for the past two years ( during the school semester ) and during that time, locals have gotten to know them as quirky & charming.  a little birdie told me they can be quite vain & devious  though. explains why they’re an architecture major at whitby university. they really remind me of field time at six am and still making your eight am looking flawless, spandex shorts under short skirts paired with high heels you can run in, && impeccably manicured hands handling any power tool with ease. if you’re ever looking for them, i bet you can find them around the retro room. 

HIGHLIGHTS...

          the daughter raised by a single father, a former nhler, though also with the help of his teammates’ wives and girlfriends — a unique situation that shaped her life ; a lover of beauty, no matter what it may be, but a little obsessed with it when it comes to herself ; tiny but with a nose for scoring, speed, and elusiveness on the field that’s made her a two time women’s soccer mvp and she’s only a junior ; sometimes comes across as a little ditzy and airheaded, but though she has the look of a girly-girl, looks can be deceiving and certainly don’t underestimate her ; has an incredible knack for turning old things into new and desired items, mostly with regards to furniture and knicknacks.

THE STORY...

— cole harbour, nova scotia, the birthplace of sidney crosby the next one, eight years later — nathan mackinnon, and six years after that : nia williams. her birth was unplanned, however ; her mother only twenty and working towards med school. her father a halifax mooseheads player just having fun at her conception, now twenty-two and playing out his dreams in the nhl with the montreal canadians.

— things always work out in the end, though, and at twenty-two her father became her sole guardian and growing up quite a bit in the process, her mother vanishing from her life at that point and never re-entering.

— she was technically raised by a single father, but she was also perhaps raised by the veterans on the team and most importantly, the wives and girlfriends of her father’s teammates whose care she was left in the care of during games. it was them that taught her the things that her father couldn’t, and nia never wanted for her mother, that space happily and willingly filled by almost two dozen women who were older sisters, mothers, aunts... they were family.

— but even with all the make up and fashion advice, nia was very much her father’s daughter as well : crawling around the outdoors, going one-on-one on the ice, swimming in the ocean and still looking flawless while doing it. michael williams was a good father in the end, and grew into the role.

— she play hockey and soccer growing up, seeming to have a nose for offense, as elusive on skates as in cleats. nia could’ve been great at both sports, was great at both sports, but in the middle of high school she made the switch to focus on soccer full time. her passion for the ice remained, but the opportunities in soccer were stronger — and she loved the outdoors, loved the field in the early hours of morning.

— it was in the summer after grade 11 that she was offered a scholarship from whitby university to play women’s soccer ( amongst others ), but whitby fit the bill for what she wanted, and port briar reminded her a lot of home in cole harbour with the chilly sea. so after graduation, she was off to whitby to play soccer.

— on the college scene, it became obvious that nia simply put, was a star. a small but ever elusive forward who had speed that didn’t seem possible with her stature and an ability to score like no one else. the campus loved her, the team loved her, and opposing teams loved to hate her on the field. she was named mvp of the team as a freshman, a feat she would repeat her sophomore year as well. she’s currently gunning for her third.

MISC...

— architecture feels like an odd choice for those who don’t know nia well. she tends to come across as a little bit of an airhead, ditzy, not always the greatest with common sense. but she is actually quite book smart and sometimes, the ditziness is just a bit of an act. she had fostered a bit of FASCINATION with arenas having been in so many growing up, she began to harbor a desire to design one ( and to do it better ). sketching had been something that held her attention when she needed to be seated and still, and that fit in perfectly. after entering whitby undeclared, nia found herself drawn to the architecture department and program, officially declaring at the end of her freshman year.

— nia is hardly ever still : tapping fingers, jumping knees, sitting and then standing. she was diagnosed with adhd when she was seven. she is medicated for it now, but it also still manifests in attention deficient for her, leaving a wake of unfinished projects in her wake. sports had been one of the few things that held her attention, kept her occupied, and one of the few things she worked to hone her skills in.

— because of her tendency to jump from one thing to another, it’s no surprise she had a litany of hobbies that she’s tried : you name it, she’s likely tried it once. everything from yoga, to sewing, to painting, to rock climbing. in some ways it’s made her a bit of a jack of all trades, though she always comes back to soccer in the end. 

— however, one of thing did stick, kinda. in high school she took a woodworking class and from that spawned a hobby of furniture upcycling. her father had always been good with his hands and she knew her way around power tools, still does. she takes great pride in being able to fix things to be usable again, and loves to shop around the retro room or drive around port briar looking for things left at the curb. it can’t be a huge project though, like anything, if it’s not done in one go, chances are she may never return to finish the project. 

— she lives in an off-campus apartment this year after spending the first two in dorms. she’s looking forward to having her own space and kitchen ( even with roommates ).

— rigid schedules help her to keep organized when her natural tendency is to fall back into messiness and chaos. living with a neat roommate has helped her in some ways, because though messiness is her tendency, she finds that neatness helps her to keep focused and on track. being reminded to clean every week has been good for her.

— her favorite color is red and she has a penchant for red nails and red lipstick.

— her father is now an assistant hockey coach in the ncaa, but not at whitby. she sees him when that school in in town though she’s always rooting for whitby. her summers are spent back in cole harbour and she is still in touch with some of the wives and girlfriends who she’d been so close to.

— she’s an early bird, as odd as it is. she’s always loved sunrises over the atlantic ocean. you can find her either on the field or out for a run in the early hours, and then when the snow flies, likely doing yoga.

PERSONALITY...

— on the surface nia is very much a pretty girl. always looking flawless, a little ditzy, a little shallow. her smile is her weapon and she uses it to get people on her side. she likes people to like her, though one might hesitate to truly classify her as a nice girl or a mean girl. she ends up falling somewhere in the middle as most people do, never mean without cause but not friends with anyone. her enemies aren’t always obvious, something kept under wraps with petty glares and muttered comments. she doesn’t go looking for trouble, but if it crosses her path she meets it head on. her soccer star status has endeared her with some and made her just as many enemies, especially on their rival teams. she’s generally sweet to everyone she meets, but wrong her and she’ll be the first to be shit talking behind your back.

— men and women alike find her charming, something that suits her tastes. she’s been in a fair number of flings, though nothing that she ever saw as longterm. nia in general doesn’t look at the big picture, which has frustrated some who saw something more with her. but people still love her all the same. it’s a power she pretends to not know she has, but she’s more devious than her lipsticked smiles portray her to be.

— she has a thing for looks, rarely looking less than pristine herself, even in the middle of practice on a hot pre-season day. beauty, she’s been told, starts on the inside, and she does believe that, but helping along the outside never hurts either. she likes to feel good about herself, and comfort doesn’t always take precedence.

— nia always has a schedule, but at the same time, she’s almost always late. time management is a thing she’s still working on, and the only advice is to tell her anything is fifteen minutes earlier than it is.

— she’s a pretty girl, but has never felt like she had to stick to that box. instead, she has a way of just looking flawless no matter what that does. people judge her from her appearance and she knows that, but she also relishes in being able to prove people wrong. she knows her way around a math class and almost every power tool there is, she’s not afraid to get dirty --- just looking bad, so she’ll find a way to make mud look flawless. she’s obsessed with beauty, just not always the most conventional forms of it.

APPEARANCE...

— 5′0″, built lithe and fast.

— style : cute and cottagecore on the daily, but isn’t afraid to toe the line into edgy for nights out. a bit of “hardness” can make its way into her outfit in blacks and faux leathers matched with flowy silks and puff sleeves. she can make the switch from “good girl” to “bad girl” as quickly as she wants, depending on how she’s feeling that day.

— jewelry : an absolute sucker for jewelry. often is on esty too often despite her already extensive collection of bracelets, necklaces, and rings. her style is often dainty jewelry, though she doesn’t discriminate.

— tattoos : a small butterfly on the back of her left shoulder

— scars : several small nicks and almost invisible ones

OOC...

hiiii. it’s ollie again ✌️😎... and bc i normally play hockey bois... here’s my self-indulgent tie to hockey via nia whoops.

[deansmyapplepie]

Five More Minutes

Pairing: Sam Winchester x reader

Tags: tired!reader, sweet!Sam, insecurities, insecure!reader, comfort, fluff

Word Count: 858

(Gif not mine)

Acting purely on instinct, you covered Sam's body protectively with yours.

"What happened?" You spoke in an urgent tone low enough so that only he would be able to hear you. "Are you hurt?" You weren't sure what was after him, but you would be damned if it got to him before at least getting through you.

"No, no," Sam demurred. He brushed dangling strands of hair out of your face as he looked up at you, pinned beneath your body. "I'm okay," he reassured. "We're safe." How in the hell was he so calm about this? You most certainly were not safe! God knows what was hunting you down, and you had to protect Sam. First things first, you needed a game plan. You glanced up to do a perimeter check of... your bedroom? The pieces clicked into place, and you fell back onto the mattress with an exhausted whump. Talk about ways to get the blood pumping. Wordlessly, you scooted closer to Sam as he wrapped warm, comforting arms around your waist. "I didn't mean to scare you," he murmured in an apologetic tone.

"It's okay." Just being with him like this already made you feel tons better. Mostly, you were glad that he was unharmed and that the two of you were in the safety of the bunker. Having a hunter's reflex like that was a bitch. As you had come to learn, you were never truly safe, so you had to learn to adapt, and that meant being able to kill something immediately upon waking up. Even though you imagined that Sam had done his best not to trigger such a response, you were pretty sure you had still tackled him. Poor guy.

"You slept through your alarm," he explained.

"I did?" you asked through a colossal yawn.

"Mm-hm. I turned it off for you." Sam combed his fingers through your hair, brushing against your scalp, and you let out a sigh. He knew you loved it when he did that.

"Thanks, baby." You had to admit, if you had slept through your alarm like that, someone was probably telling you that you needed to be getting more sleep. Screw it. Didn't everyone need more sleep?

Although you really didn't want to, you removed yourself from Sam's arms and gave him a tender kiss before pushing yourself up into a sitting position. As you moved to the edge of the bed, he touched your shoulder imploringly.

"You're still getting up?" he asked, incredulous.

"Yeah," you answered. "I want to get an early start again. I have work to do." When you looked over your shoulder, he was frowning at you. "What?"

"What work?" Considering the two of you had the same job, that was definitely a fair question. Honestly, the last two hunts hadn't gone well for you, and you were anxious to do something right.

"Just... research and stuff." Your vague answer earned an unimpressed eyebrow raise.

"Babe," he started, "you've been going to bed late and then waking up early. Actually, you've been getting up before I have, and that's saying something."

"I've just been looking for cases!" you defended.

"Is that why I woke up alone yesterday morning?" With another sigh, you cast your eyes down guiltily. Sam moved closer to you, and you turned a bit to look at him. "What's going on?"

"I messed up," you finally said. "I'm losing my touch, and I want to get it back."

"Wait, slow down." He held a hand up before you could proceed any further. "What are you talking about? Losing your touch? Y/N, you're doing an amazing job, just like you always do. You give me a run for my money when it comes to research, and if I had to choose someone to have my back, you and Dean are tied for my first choice." Suddenly, all your troubles weren't so troublesome anymore, and you found yourself embarrassed. It wasn't the first time your insecurities had gotten the best of you, and unfortunately, you were sure it wouldn't be the last.

You traced a thumb across Sam's cheek gratefully. You were so thankful you had him.

"Thanks, babe." He shook his head and pulled you back into his embrace.

"You don't have to thank me for being honest." The blankets were still warm from body heat, and you realized how tired you were. "Now, are you coming back to bed willingly, or do I have to hold you captive?" You chuckled.

"You know normally I'd give you shit and make you hold me down-"

"Yeah, but you like that anyway." A spluttering noise came out of your mouth when he said that, and you whacked him in the chest. It wasn't often that he made comments like that - that was more his brother's style - but when he did, they never failed to surprise you.

"...but," you continued, "I'm way too tired right now, so I give in." Sam gave you a quick kiss before settling back into the blankets.

"I'm happy with that, as long as I get you to myself for a few more hours."

Thanks so much for reading!

As always, links to my masterlist, taglist, and inbox (requests are open!) are in my bio!

My Everythings:

@cole-winchester​ @alexwinchester23​ @1-am-made-of-stardust​ @thorukindig​ @fiftyshadesoffandom6783​ @hobby27​ @supernaturalenchanted​ @organicpurplepants​ @odysseyofasiren​ @defenderrosetyler​ @crystal-lilac​ @youshrimpdickfucknugget​

Sam Darlings:

@calaofnoldor​

[theunderdogwrites]

In Defense of Marilyn Manson

Just kidding.

This is another one of those ‘if you live under a rock, you might not know what is going on’ pieces. But because this story appears to be unfolding daily, I’d think you’ve heard a murmur here or there even if you haven’t really paid too much attention to it because for many, I think this may fall into the “that guy has been a messed-up weirdo for years so I’m not surprised” category.

Please note that in NO WAY I am making fun of this situation, but I learned a long time ago that I require a certain amount of humor to be able to digest much of what this world presents to me.

As always, let me give you the Coles Notes version with the hopes you will go and do your own reading as well.

On February 1 actress Evan Rachel Wood posted this on her Instagram:

"The name of my abuser is Brian Warner, also known to the world as Marilyn Manson. He started grooming me when I was a teenager and horrifically abused me for years. I was brainwashed and manipulated into submission. I am done living in fear of retaliation, slander or blackmail. I am here to expose this dangerous man and call out the many industries that have enabled him, before he ruins any more lives. I stand with the many victims who will no longer be silent."

Quick history lesson – They started dating in 2007 when she was 18 and he was 34 and were engaged for a brief time in 2010.

This was Manson’s response to what she wrote:

"Obviously, my art and my life have long been magnets for controversy, but these recent claims about me are horrible distortions of reality. My intimate relationships have always been entirely consensual with like-minded partners. Regardless of how - and why - others are now choosing to misrepresent the past, that is the truth."

Since the original statement on February 1 a number of women have come forward with stories of their own ranging from physical and emotional abuse to human trafficking. And everyday something new is revealed. Evan Rachel Woods is feverishly posting on her Insta-Story and is slowly burying Manson in an ocean of consequences. She isn’t “fired up” or “a woman scorned”, she is a victim rising above the shame she has felt and the fear of what others will say about her to tell her story and encourage others to do the same. She is the voice that started the ball rolling. The ball that is about to crush Marilyn Manson.

Whenever I write stuff that is currently being heavily featured in the media, I always dive into articles so I can get as much information as possible. But more importantly, I plunge my sensitive little soul into the murky depths known as “the comments section”. I do this because unlike those polished, finished pieces the comments section will give you a better idea of what your fellow human beings think and feel about the topic at hand. And it is never polished or even polite. And often not for the faint at heart. In case you didn’t already know – people can be quite terrible.

The comments section is the modern-day gladiator pit. Only most (not all) of the participants are not ripped, athletic warriors but rather drooling basement dwellers with one hand down their pants (not gender specific by the way) and the other hand maltreating the letters on their keyboard.

Side note: Look, I am not the grammar police as I often just push past all the warnings from the Gestapo editing program in Microsoft Word. BUT I know the value of proper spelling, well placed punctuation and valid attempts to appear smarter than a domesticated turkey by making sure sentences are well-thought out and complete. Raising your argument doesn’t mean USING ALL CAPS AND ABUSING THESE THINGS -> !!!

I just deleted three paragraphs going over the recent “reckoning” that has taken place in the past few years with regards to sexual and physical abuse accusations against (mostly) men in positions of some kind of power. I eliminated all that writing because I started to tumble off topic. I’m not writing about all the dicks now getting their comeuppance, but rather the reactions to it being Marilyn Manson’s turn in the chamber.

Victim shaming is sadly a real thing.

The easiest way I can explain this to you – if a person gets pickpocketed and then blamed because they should’ve known better than to carry their wallet in their back pocket.

Evan Rachel Woods and others have come out to accuse Manson of some pretty appalling acts of abuse and what I’ve found to be the biggest reaction is, “How did they not know he was a bad guy? His music is so graphic and they thought it was all an act? Why did they stay so long?”. As innocent as those questions might seem, and I say that because our brains don’t always serve us or others well, it is a form of discrediting those women. Let’s be honest here… it’s hard to look at Marilyn Manson and his art form and not say, “What the fuck, this guy has bad idea written all over him!”. I feel that is a perfectly reasonable response, but that is where it should end. I think it is fair to pause and attempt to understand the choices of others, but it’s heartless to minimize their experience by placing blame on them for a situation we couldn’t possibly understand if it has never happened to us.

And like I’ve quoted before: People only understand from their level of perception. But that doesn’t stop them from laying on the judgement and damaging already fragile individuals with their inability to show compassion for a fellow human being. Reading through comment sections isn’t just maddening, it’s disappointing and sad but also a real look into how awful many people feel about themselves… to the point where they seem to derive some pleasure or satisfaction from condemning a rape victim for wearing a short skirt and getting drunk.

So… we have to touch on this to be balanced: innocent until proven guilty. Only these days it’s an automatic trial by media with the public acting as judge, jury and executioner. This is where “cancel culture” steps in and within days can destroy an entire career / life. I am not a fan of cancel culture. It does not give people a chance to learn from their mistakes or make amends as it immediately harms their very existence. Often times even before any proof has surfaced. I don’t think I need to tell you how dangerous this is… the fact that just an accusation could ruin your life.

Let me make this clear: if someone comes forward and claims they’ve been sexually assaulted/abused, they need to be taken seriously and not dismissed based upon the circumstances, their gender identity, the color of their skin, their economic position or profession or the person they’re accusing. In turn, the individual being accused should be given time to address the claims before the public begins demolishing their life.

A reoccurring comment in almost all these cases where someone comes forward and alleges abuse YEARS after it happened, is – “Why did they wait so long to come forward?”.

Is this a fair question? Sure. And I feel it is asked because our brain needs to find a way to understand the information we are being given. Because while we’d all like to think that if in the same situation we’d be unfuckable with and anyone who dared to bring damage to our doorstep would immediately suffer the consequences, we actually cannot predict our reaction. There are too many unknown variables to be able to confidently say we’d instantly speak up and seek retribution.

The fear of not being believed. The fear of being blamed. The fear of rejection. The fear of retaliation from the person being accused. The fear of being forever defined by your experience. The fear.

It does not matter the why, what matters is the chance they’ve taken by speaking up at all. Those who come forward should be embraced, not ridiculed. Not abandoned. Not criticized.

“Don’t ask why victims wait so long to speak up. Ask what systems were in place to keep them quiet”. Anonymous

I own a few Marilyn Manson CD’s. And I’ve even attended one of his concerts. Would I say I am a fan? Probably a number of years ago I was but truthfully, I’ve not paid attention to any of his music in recent years because I feel it devolved while my taste evolved. That’s not a slam against him or anyone who fancies his work, it’s more a statement on how I’ve matured and now seek out music that feels authentic to me.

The one concert I attended was opened by Courtney Love. I know, what a duo to pay money to see. Near the end of Manson’s set he made a disparaging remark about Love and trashed her music. At the time he was wearing some pretty hefty platform shoes so it made it all the more hilarious when from out of nowhere she charged like a rhino and tackled him to the stage; throwing punches at his head all the way down. When he finally was able to get up, he announced the show was over. There would be no encore and then him and his bandmates trashed the stage in a temper tantrum worthy of a toddler Napoleon. Still makes me laugh to this day.

Shoutout to Evan Rachel Wood and her most recent movie ‘Kajillionaire’. Watched it on demand about a month ago and it’s a brilliant comedy that will also pull at your heart. I highly recommend you give it a chance.

Check out the trailer:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xiMPCevu8Wk

[fanfalc-616]

The Rights Of A Nindroid

Chapter Fifteen

(Prevoius Chapter Here)

(Discord Here)

Been a while since I’ve posted, sorry about that-

I’m supposed to be in school rn lol

When finally taken back to the lockers, after thirty exhausting hours, Cryptor feels as though he’s on the verge of a forced shutdown.

The damn brat had switched out with someone else, claiming something about an internship. And that had at least meant that the one hurting him no longer had a personal vendetta, but it was still painful.

Cryptor hates how close he had come to actually asking them to hurt Zane instead, but he didn’t. Though judging by the way the other looks when the two of them are put in the locker, they hurt him anyway.

DID THEY GIVE YOU A CHOICE TOO?

Zane doesn’t answer for a moment, likely out of surprise or maybe exhaustion.

I DIDNT GIVE IN

Cryptor snorts. Of course he didn’t. He’s a self-sacrificing dumbass, and it had been that knowledge that had allowed Cryptor to hang on himself.

HOW LONG A BREAK DO YOU THINK WELL GET?

It’s a morbid game, really, but the two of them had taken to guessing how long they would get before dragged out for testing or torture.

AT LEAST SIX HOURS WE WERE THERE FOR OVER A DAY

Mulls over the words, Cryptor considers the idea. Zane’s probably right, but he feels like arguing.

OR THEYLL WANT TO BEAT IT INTO US WITH A SHORTER ONE

There’s a pause, and Cryptor takes a moment to hate himself. Yes, start an argument with his one friend, that’s a wonderful idea.

IS SOMEONE HAVING A BAD DAY?

Cryptor snorts. Good, Zane can tell when he’s only pretending to argue. Probably picked that up from his teammates.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

The friendly banter continues for a while, but Cryptor can eventually feel himself shutting down from exhaustion.

He taps out a goodbye and a quick explanation before falling asleep, hoping- but not expecting- that they’ll get today off.

{ { { { { { { { { { ~ } } } } } } } } } }

Jay is starting to lose his grip.

Kai had gotten himself under house arrest by breaking into the government building- which he neglected to tell them the location of before doing so- and since they live on the Bounty, they’re stuck grounded so that the police can make sure that Kai’s not leaving.

Also he’s been sulking the whole time.

It’s already been almost two months, but he still has another four left, and everyone on the ship is going crazy from it.

“I am this close to renting a hotel until his house arrest is over.” Nya holds up her hand so that her pointer finger and thumb are almost touching.

Cole sighs, shaking his head. “I’d join you, but at this point I’m scared of leaving him unsupervised.”

Jay laughs a little. “Honestly, what could he do that’s worse than what he’s already done?”

The two immediately snap over to looking at him.

“Are you trying to jinx it?!” Cole groans. “You know full well how crazy he can get when it comes to protecting us.”

Wincing, Jay accepts the point. “That’s fair. But I doubt he would-“

Lloyd comes running into the room. “Kai left the ship. He tied his house arrest bracelet to the roomba so it would move, and I don’t know where he went.”

Jay blinks. “I stand corrected.”

Then they’re all scrambling to their feet, rushing off to try and find the dumbass hot head that is Kai.

Cole runs outside, probably off to go look at his usual hiding places- he’s run off before, but never under house arrest.

Nya goes to her computer, most likely going to try and track his phone- that’s her usual go-to for when one of them goes off to do something stupid.

He’s not entirely sure where Lloyd’s going, but he probably has some kind of plan.

But before Jay has the chance to come up with his own, his BorgPhone rings with a number that he doesn’t recognize.

A flash of fear takes over him. Oh, Kai better not have gotten captured. What happens if he has? They might hurt him, he might go to prison, he could get into all kinds of trouble!

With shaky hands, Jay hits accept and holds the phone up to his ear.

“Hey, this is Jay Walker. Who is this and how have I ruined your life?” Somehow, he manages to keep his voice from shaking.

“It’s more of your boyfriend who’s doing that.” Sentry grumbles. “I found Kai sneaking into Borg Tower- he was trying to find more hints of ways to rescue Zane. Please come and get him before he gets caught- I shoved him in a back room to keep people from finding him, but he’ll probably find a way out pretty soon.”

Jay curses softly. “Of course he did. Okay, I’m on my way.” He starts to head out even as he speaks, silently complaining about how reckless his boyfriend can be. He loves him, he really does, but sometimes- like now- he really wants to slap him.

It takes him around fifteen minutes to make it to Borg Tower, and when he steps inside, Sentry is standing right next to the door.

“He escapes from the room, so I put him in the timeout corner. He’s handcuffed to the wall, but I’m pretty sure that-“

Jay blinks a few times. “Wh- why do you have a timeout corner? And why does it have handcuffs?”

Sighing, Sentry shakes his head. “The white nindroids were created recently and are pretty immature,” he explains, “so a timeout is a pretty effective way to get them to behave. The handcuffs are for when they still don’t listen- now come on, we should hurry before he finds a way out.”

So Jay lets the nindroid lead him through the tower, trying to stop the way he’s nervously jittering. It- it’ll be fine, it’ll be totally and completely fi-

They come into a back room where Kai is in a chair and in handcuffs that are attached to the wall, forcing his hands above his head.

Jay glances over at Sentry. “Uh-“

“We have two timeout corners. This one is for the nindroids who cause trouble repeatedly. Or in this case, the ninja who does that.” He glares at Kai, but the red ninja looks utterly unapologetic.

“I need to rescue Zane. And you didn’t have to call someone to pick me up, I’m not some child in a school’s principal’s office.” Kai huffs, shifting in his bonds.

Jay starts to try and tell him that he’s totally acting like he’s just got his parents called in an office, but Sentry shakes his head, and speaks up.

“There’s a back door you can take him out so that he doesn’t get caught, but keep a better handle on him next time. We really don’t need him getting an actual prison sentence.”

Glancing at his boyfriend, Jay thinks for a moment, trying to figure out if he’d actually be able to get Kai out of here without being seen.

“I’m going to call Cole,” he decides, “he’ll be able to carry him out of here.”

“I can walk!” Kai protests, looking betrayed. “I don’t need to be carried-“

Sentry nods. “Probably a good idea. He might put up a fight on the way out.”

“I can hear you, you know! I’m right here.” Kai sounds annoyed and frustrated, and Jay sighs, feeling himself cave a little.

“It’s okay, Fire-Hazard. I’ll talk Nya out of murdering you, so long as you promise to actually stay on the ship this time.”

At his words, Kai pales a little. It’s clear he hadn’t thought about how his sister would react to him running off.

“I’ll behave.” He grumbles, clearly unhappy about it. “But I can’t just do nothing.”

With a start, Jay realizes that he’s right. The reason that he keeps doing stupid things is because he needs to be doing something to help- if he doesn’t, he’s going to feel like he’s failing Zane.

So they need to come up with something that he could work on, some way he could get them closer to freeing him.

Maybe if he was working on part of the plan…

Jay looks over at Sentry. “We’re looking for legal loopholes right now, right? Could he help you try and find some? From the computer on the ship, I mean.”

Kai perks up a little, and Sentry looks like he’s considering the idea.

“Will that keep him out of trouble?” He sounds hesitant, but Jay quickly nods.

“He just wants to help, give him a way to do that and he’ll be fine.”

The nindroid looks over at Kai. “Is he seriously going to be able to look through legal documents for longer than thirty seconds?” He sounds unamused, but he pauses again when he sees Kai’s determined expression.

“I looked through a ton of them to break in. I’ll do whatever it takes to get him out.”

After hesitating for only a moment longer, Sentry nods. “Alright,” he agrees, “I’ll send over some I haven’t gotten to yet.”

So Jay ends up only calling Cole so that he can let the others know that Jay found him, and Kai actually walks back without putting up a fuss.

It takes a bit of work to get him on the ship stealthily enough so that any potential cameras couldn’t see, but they manage it.

However, when they step onto the bridge, the three others look annoyed beyond belief.

After a pause, Kai chuckles nervously. “On a scale of one to ten, how much trouble am I in?”

“Eleven.” Nya’s smile expresses anything but happiness, and Cole and Lloyd look only slightly less upset.

Somehow, Jay manages to uphold his promise, talking Nya out of giving Kai some five hour lecture that would probably make him regret existing.

Lloyd grabs Stabby and re-attaches the house arrest bracelet, and it’s not long after that the red ninja is in front of the computer, having about seven files open that he’s comparing and researching.

Later, Cole comes up to him. “The research thing was good thinking; it’ll keep him distracted while still allowing him to help.”

Jay flashes him a smile. “What can I say? I actually have good ideas sometimes.”

Cole smirks. “That’s debatable.”

“You literally just told me that I had a good idea.” Jay reminds with his own grin.

With an overly thoughtful expression, Cole strokes his chin. “Did I? I don’t remember that.”

“Wow, and here I was with the idea that elephants never forget.” Jay snarks back, barely containing his snickers.

Mock gasping, Cole puts a hand over his chest. But as he starts to teasingly reply, his smile fades, and he looks down.

“... Zane loved mock arguments.” He murmurs softly, pain suddenly written on his face.

Jay feels his own cheerfulness drain a little. “It took a while to teach him how, but he got pretty good at them.” He quietly agrees as he remembers the difficulty Zane had used to have with humor.

“He got pretty good at them though.” Cole’s smile is more pained now, but it’s there.

With a soft chuckle, Jay nods. “Absolutely trashed us with them.”

But then the emotions are over taking him, and Jay feels himself shaking at the thought of his titanium boyfriend. Who knows what they’re doing to him, from Kai’s recount they’ve been outright torturing him, he-

Cole puts a hand on his shoulder. “It’ll be okay.” He speaks softly, and his voice is uncertain, as though he’s not really sure of himself, even though it sounds like he’s trying to keep it steady.

Jay nods weakly, feeling tears burn at the back of his eyes. “It’ll be okay.” He repeats softly, desperately trying to believe the words.

In the end, Cole has to coax both him and Kai into bed with gentle reassurances and promises that he sounds slightly unsure of, but at this point, Jay’s too desperate to think about how he might be wrong.

He just wants Zane back… is that really too much to ask for?

Apparently, because it doesn’t seem that they’ll be getting him back anytime soon.

That night, even when cuddled in the arms of his other boyfriends, he cries himself to sleep.

Zane will be okay. He has to be okay.

Jay won’t be able to take it if he’s not.

[grimbeak]

hi! here’s another fun n cheerful ghost jay drabble, definitely not really depressing at all! :D 

Mistakes 

Pixal was expecting many things to be going on when she got back to the temple, almost a month late after her mission went awry. It was supposed to be only two weeks she was gone, but, well, duty calls. 

Out of all the things she has been expecting (mourning, an empty temple, arguing, etc.), seeing Jay on the couch talking to Cole was not one of them. 

“Um.”

Both boys look up, confused looks turning into delighted smiles almost instantly as they jump up. “Pixal!” Cole runs over to her, and she laughs as his arms wrap tightly around her in a hug. “How’ve you been? Zane and Lloyd are doing a patrol,” he explains, “something about a rogue batch of serpentine. They should be back in about an hour or two, unless something goes wrong.” 

“Great,” Pixal smiles, squeezing him back one more time before stepping away. Her eyes land on Jay, and her smile fades. “How- my apologies, but... why and how is he here?”

“Well, uh...” Cole trails off, clearly a bit uncomfortable. “He’s kind of...”

Jay’s smile, however, doesn’t falter, instead clearing his throat and pulling a paper out of his pocket (is he... see-through?). Reading from the paper, he says, “So, funny story, I died. And now I’m a ghost. With no memory of dying, or... anything that caused me to die. So, don’t-” he frowns, slightly- “don’t tell me anything that may trigger memories, and try not to act weird around me. And, um, that’s about it.” He folds the paper, slipping it back into his pocket. “Kai wrote that for me,” Jay explains. “Pretty informative.” 

Pixal blinks. “Right. Well. So you don’t remember... anything?” She’s been told about the island, but... apparently her friends have neglected to tell her that Jay is alive (well... half-alive. A ghost. Whatever) and well (as well as one can be with zero memories of their death.) 

Jay shakes his head. “Nope. And, apparently, no one’s allowed to tell me about it.” He sounds a bit disappointed at the last bit, but regains a smile that seems rather forced. “Anyway, good to see you again! I’ll go tell Kai you’re back.” 

Pixal waits until her friend (friend? Formerly-dead-but-now-alive friend? Formerly-enemy-friend? Hmm.) jogs off before turning back to Cole. “So. When did he turn up?”

The master of earth rubs the back of his neck awkwardly. “Few days after you went on your mission. From what I heard, he just kinda... popped out of the wall. Scared the crap out of Kai.” 

Pixal smiles, slightly. “So, I’m assuming I will be informed about what happened when the others return?”

Cole nods just as Jay re-enters the room, followed closely by Kai. The fire ninja offers a smile and a wave to Pixal. “Hey, Pix. How was the mission?”

“Long,” she sighs, and Kai smirked. 

“So, uh... wanna come get some tea? Lloyd made some, earlier.” Pixal raises an eyebrow, and Kai hurriedly adds, “Zane helped him. It doesn’t taste horrible, for once.” 

“Yes. That would be nice.”

***

So maybe Jay shouldn’t be doing this. 

But hey. He did figure out how to turn invisible all on his own (well, mostly on his own (having your best friend become a ghost for over a year and a half does have its advantages)), so he should use it. It’s his decision, not any of his friends’. 

Not that he’s told his friends about his ability to turn invisible, anyway, but still.

From what Jay understands, the other ninja are going to have Important Discussion Time with Pixal in around five minutes. Explain to her what happened on the island and what not.

So, the logical thing to do is sneak in while being invisible, listen to whatever happened on the island that nobody wants to tell him about, try to figure out why they didn’t want to tell him. Can’t be that bad, right?

Right. Everything’ll be fine, and Jay will be fine, and he’ll tell the others that he knows, and everything will be great. 

Pixal interrupts his train of thought, standing up with the others. “So, we’re gonna go...” She gestures vaguely to the living room, and Cole and Kai wince in unision behind her. They probably don’t think that Jay has noticed the fact that they shoo him away for a few hours every time that they have to explain his existence (half-existence?) to someone. Which, surprisingly, happens a lot. 

Jay pushes himself away from the wall he was leaning against (being able to touch solid things is a lot easier than being able to touch people, or have people touch him.) with a smile. “Yeah, sure. I’m gonna go rest for a bit, see you guys later.”

He’s not going to go rest for a bit. What he is going to do, actually, is pull the tracker off his uniform (it’s not as hidden as Zane thinks) and put it on his bed, then sneak back into the living room, invisible. 

(One of the first things he worked on as a ghost was turning invisible. Going invis is easier than getting out of invis, actually. It’s sort of like a switch you flick down to disappear.

Getting out is harder, due to the fact that it takes physical contact with someone to switch out. The last few times he’s done it, Jay just bumped shoulders with Zane while he had his nose buried in a book.

Jay hopes this meeting won’t take too long. The longer he’s invisible, the more he can feel himself fading away.)

The other ninja (and Pixal) dissapear into the Important Discussion Talk room, and Jay wanders off to his room. Quickly, he pulls the mini tracker that Zane made off his elbow (not the best hiding spot, seriously) and places it carefully on his bed. 

Time to overhear some things, like any good person questioning their existence and/or past would do. 

Once he’s back into the kitchen, Jay flips the internal switch.

And vanishes. 

It’s... it’s pretty much exactly the same as being a regular ghost, except for the fact that he can’t see himself.

Jay pushes the door open (and silently thanks the FSM that it doesn’t creak), and gets noticed almost immediately. Crap. 

Cole frowns, pushing himself up from the couch. “...Jay?”

Zane pulls something out of his pocket before turning it around so that Jay and Cole can see the screen. “No. He’s still in his room. We should really get that door fixed- does that all the time.”

...Oh thank god. 

Zane sets the tracker pad back down onto the table, Jay slinks farther into the room, and Cole closes the door before plopping back down onto the couch. “We ready to start?”

Pixal nods, slowly, looking a little less unsure than earlier. “Affirmative.” 

“Alright, so...” Kai leans back in his chair, in a ready-to-start-talking-about-our-friend’s-demise-and-resurrection pose. “Let’s begin.” 

And they do.

They talk about getting to the island, about being... not exactly welcomed by the locals (understandable), and about-

“His mother?” 

“We think so,” Cole says awkwardly. “Well, not think so, Master Wu did explicitly say that she was Jay’s mom. Said her name was Linda, or something.” 

“Liberty,” Nya interupts “But when they were kids, everyone apparently called her Libber. She used to be really nice and kind too- a lot like Jay, really, but...” She looks at the ground.

Jay can’t breathe. His mother was there, his mom, and they didn’t tell him about her? Why? 

He finds it very hard to stay quiet right now, and instead shoves his fist in his mouth and bites on it, hard. ...Doesn’t really do anything, but the numb feeling he always has grows worse. He’ll start sort of... tingling, soon. Always happens when he gets stressed, now.

“But she had lost it.”

Hold on, she- what?

Nya takes a shaky breath, and her brother squeezes her hand comfortingly. “Libber was... clearly not herself. Insane, really. Just kind of... bent on destruction. Something had happened, we don’t know what, but she wasn’t- wasn’t herself, anymore, according to Master Wu. Jay was kinda... messed up about that.”

“Of course he was,” Cole murmurs. “I mean, you meet your mom after not even knowing she existed for most of your life, and she doesn’t even care about you? Gotta screw you up a little. Along with... all the other stuff.”

Jay’s starting to think he really doesn’t want to know about all the other stuff. 

But the other ninja keeps talking, and he keeps listening, and Jay really understands why they didn’t want to tell him about any of this. 

“So,” Pixal says eventually, after Kai’s taken a break from speaking. “Just to be perfectly clear- Jay went evil slash insane because his mother didn’t care about him, and he thought that none of you cared about him as well?” 

Yes, Jay wants to scream. Yes, that’s exactly what happened. 

There are thoughts in his head, memories blinking in and out and Jay doesn’t really know what to do with all of them. 

“Well,” Kai starts slowly, “it wasn’t all that, but-” 

“Shut it, Kai,” Cole interrupts, and his companions stare at him in surprise. “Look, just- yes, Pixal. It was our fault. We made him feel like we didn’t care about him. Kai especially,” he added, and the fire ninja glared at him for a few seconds until he gave up, looking down at the ground. Cole continued. “And now we have another chance, and just- we can’t mess up this time.”

“And then what happened?” Pixal asks.

“The tribe got to him,” Cole says, “offered him a way out.” 

And they all keep tallking. 

And Jay listens.

Listens to how he turned against his friends, how he was going to destroy Ninjago to bring them pain and suffering, and how the others had no choice to but to take him down. And they did that by-

After a few seconds of silence, Pixal speaks up. “So... how’d you stop him?” 

No one says anything, and Jay’s stomach drops as Kai looks at the ground.

Pixal’s eyes widen. “You didn’t- you guys- you...” She trails off, shocked.

Kai whispers, eventually, “We didn’t mean to kill him. But he... we were just trying to hit him with all our powers at once, see if we could snap him out of it, maybe stop him, but-” he looks at his hand as if it’s covered in blood. “...We’re more powerful than we thought.” 

Jay’s frozen, and the one remaining part of his head that can think clearly hopes that this meeting’ll end soon, otherwise he’ll start to fade away. Once that happens... 

His friends-

They killed him. 

Jay had assumed it was something that happened with the tribe, or-or maybe even his mother and where was she?, but not his friends.

He feels sick. 

...Maybe he deserved it, honestly, with the way he was acting, but still. 

“OK,” Pixal says after a moment, “so he’s dead because you guys killed him.” Cole and Lloyd wince at the true accusation, but nod in agreement. “So how’d become a ghost, then? There’s... I can’t think of any logical way.”

“We think,” Cole starts, “that the tribe has some kind of resurrection ritual. But either something went wrong or there’s a cost, because Jay doesn’t know how or why he died. Also the whole ghost thing.”

“I see. And- was Libber there, too? Did... did she have to watch? Did you guys kill her, too?”

“No! She... she disappeared, just before Jay lost it. We’re not sure where she is- probably alive somewhere else. The tribe didn’t know where she went. She might’ve told Jay, but... if she did, he won’t remember.” 

...OK. So his mom is still out there, somewhere, probably insane. That’s... good to know, sort of.

“And, um...” Cole drums his fingers on the armrest of the couch he’s sitting on. Jay’s legs really hurt. “I think that’s about it.” 

“OK,” Pixal says slowly. “And I’m not allowed to tell Jay about this?”

The others shake their heads immediately. “Nope,” confirms Kai. “Too dangerous. Might go all insane-ey and lose it again.”

Jay...

Ouch.

...His friends don’t trust him, that’s for sure, and to be honest he deserves it.

But he deserves an apology, as well, not some half-baked lie about how when he died they realized they weren’t as nice to him as they could’ve been. 

...Maybe he can think of a way to tell him that he remembers, without them trying to kill him for it. 

As Jay’s thinking/beginning to have an internal mental breakdown, Cole stands up and starts walking towards the door. “I’m gonna go check on Jay, see how he’s doing. He’s asleep, right?” Zane holds up the tracker pad, which shows a little dot marked Jay on his bed. “Great. I’ll see how he’s doing, and-” 

Oops.

Jay had tried to go through the door just as Cole opened it, but apparently the other ninja has no respect for the personal space of friends he can’t see and didn’t know where there.   

Jay takes a few careful steps back, internally keeping the invisible switch down due to the fact that Cole bumped into him.

Cole hesitates, then reaches out a hand, and Jay is suddenly filled with so much dang panic that he can’t move, and Cole shoves him back so that Jay stumbles, landing hard against the wall and almost knocking over the coffee table. “Watch it!”

Cole’s eyes go wide and mouth drops open, the other ninja (and Pixal) twisting around in their seats to see what’s wrong.

..Jay’s not invisible anymore, is he.

One glance down at his body confirms that. He’s back to being a dark green/blue combo, the floor an odd colour beneath his feet.

 “You were...” Cole’s voice is quiet, but it quickly grows to a normal tone, albeit stunned. “You were listening? You were here the whole time?!” 

“I-” Jay glances around the room, eyes landing on Kai. “I didn’t-” 

His friends killed him.

His friends killed him. 

Kai swallows, before asking, “How do- Jay, are you... how do you feel?”

Jay looks at him.

And turns and sprints through the wall. 

It’s getting dark, outside, gray clouds indicating rain soon. Too bad. Jay can’t stay here.

His friends killed him his friends killed him- 

Jay hears a yell of “After him!” from behind him as the others claw their way through the temple.

He doesn’t have much time.

His friends killed him his friends killed him his friends-

Jay summons his dragon, pushing through the fear that seems to be overwhelming his body, more and more every second-

Hisfriendskilledhimhisfriendskilledhimhisfriendskilledhim-

He flies off just as the remaining ninja burst through the door. He can hear them calling their dragons, as well, with the sound of wings behind him within a few seconds.

He flies faster. 

“Hmmm, what you’re looking for is an Aeroblade, forged by Deepstone, an aquatic material mined from the bottom of the ocean. Very unique. Even more expensive.” 

Aeroblades.

Ronin.

He needs to find Ronin.

Jay looks back at the five dragons following him, their riders too far away to see clearly (he got a head start). 

He looks ahead of him, to Ninjago City the place that he apparently tried to destroy a few months ago. 

..He’ll lose them there.

[elfboyeros]

What I want

Little Explanation: Did this idea where the ninja split up after a tragic event (haven’t thought about it that much) and they are off in different place, Cole is in Shintaro being Vania’s bodyguard, Kai living in Ninjago City with Skylor and working in the Noddle House, Jay’s living it up somewhere, and Lloyd although still doing his ninja duties is, for the most part, living somewhere else other than the monastery. Leaving only Zane, Pixal, and Wu at the Mountain top Monastery, and with the inclusion of Lloyd, the only protects of the city. Granted this isn’t fleshed out a whole lot, so look over that for the time being, just enjoy the fluff, angst, and everything in between. Got any questions please ask them, and if you experiment with this idea, please tag me, I’d love to see the work.

Warning: Swearing, it isn’t mine if there isn’t swearing!!!

Under the hues of midnight, the titanium droid finally gets to return home. Of course, this act was all too normal, returning late and leaving early. Leaving a travel bag that the front door, greeted by his falcon friend and following him pasted rooms that had been left untouched for at least four years. Only to peer into the living seeing Pixal curled up on the couch fast asleep.

“Did she stay up for me again,” he asked the falcon softly, as he placed himself near her waist as she laid on her side. The falcon gave his master a small nod. She wore one of his shirts donated to her sleep, not only because she looked cute, but she was lacking in the clothes department.

Zane sighed softly, curling his finger around a strand of her hair, "Thank you for taking care of her, my friend," before he picked up the feminine droid and carried her off to their room.

He picked her in their bed, covering her with the comforter before leaving her for a spell to find clean, more comfortable clothes. Sitting on his side of the bed staring at her as she slept.

"If only I was a better man," Zane sighed once more, seeing the falcon perched on the bedpost, out of the cover of his eyes, "I'd keep every promise I've ever made to you."

Pixal subconsciously moved toward him in her sleep as Zane stared at his hands in his lap, "at my heart, I am a horrible husband."

He felt her hands on his back before she wrapped her arms around his neck, "Zane Julien you are many things," she said, softly, over his shoulder, "a horrible husband is not one of those things."

He smiled at the sound of her voice, tired and soft, "good evening, love," he replied.

"The correct greeting is good morning," Pixal giggled, kissing his cheek, "how was your mission."

Zane laid back, "exhausting."

"Would you like to talk about it?"

Zane huffed, "It was normal, but I'm not at my best and it took longer and was more of a hassle then it should have been."

Pixal nodded, running her fingers through his hair, "I am at the end of my damn rope," he expelled, "I am fucking exhausted, pissed off, and bitter."

"Interesting choice of words, could you explain why," the Samurai asked.

"We have been going nonstop for five years, protecting the city because, for some fucking reason, our city as a major threat every weekend," the nindroid began, "Kai and Jay get to worry about themselves as we risk our lives day in and day out. As if I don't wish to be in their positions."

There was a moment of silence, as Pixal wanted Zane to continue, "I would love nothing more than to pack up all of our shit like they did and go off. Hide away, so it is just you and I alone for the rest of eternity.”

“That seems like a wonderful thing that we could do.”

“Yes,” Zane exclaimed, “it is the best idea I have ever had!”

Pixal giggled, before giving him a sad smile, “but we can’t do that.”

Zane sighed once more, “I wish it wasn’t.”

“I know, but as you said the city is always under threat,” Pixal stated, “for her not have her defenders everything that we know, and love is destroyed.”

Zane rolled his eyes, she said that as if everything he loved wasn’t in the room with him, “I understand that’s not what you want to hear-”

Zane jumped out of her lap, facing her, and took ahold of her hands, “close your eyes and imagine it!”

“Zane,” Pixal sighed.

“Please, snowflake, for me,” he replied, “close your eyes, image a cabin in the middle of nowhere,” the feminine droid again smile at the idea, “Just you and I! No one to bother us, no city to save, nothing to worry about!”

Pixal opened her eyes, seeing Zane’s exhausted face, “it sounds so wonderful, doesn’t it,” he sighed with a smile.

Pixal nodded, creasing his cheek, “It does sound wonderful.”

“Say it,” Zane scoffed, “we can’t do it.”

“If we quit without warning we would be putting millions of people in danger,” she explained, “I want nothing more then to do what you proposed, but at the moment we are not in the position to do so.”

“If the others--”

“They are grieving, Zane.”

“Ah, yes a grieving process that takes five fucking years,”

“People grieve differently!”

“The same group of grieving people that would let me do the same thing,” Zane remarked, looking away from her.

“But I came back,” Pixal cooed.

“I didn’t think you would,” Zane whined, “I was trying everything to get you back and they didn’t care about what I was going through, or how I was feeling.”

“Zane, my entire point was that it wouldn’t be wise for us to quit now!”

“That’s all I want to do, is quit,” he sighed, “I’m not happy, I haven’t been for a while.”

“Even with me?”

“I am happiest when I’m with you,” Zane sighed.

Pixal grasped his face in her hands, “then hold out for a just a while longer,” she replied, “the easiest thing would be to find replacements for us, so the city has her protectors.”

“After that?”

“After that I will go wherever you choose,” Pixal answered.

Zane smiled at her answer, the possible outcome, and the thought of spending time with her, no interruptions, made him happy. He wrapped his arms around her torse pulling her close, tangling his fingers in her hair, hiding his face in the crook of her neck.

“I love you more then you know,” he sighed, kissing her neck softly.

“I should be the one saying that,” she cooed, “I was the one in your head.”

Zane chuckled, pushing his weight toward her so she would lay down, “regardless, I adore you!”

“And I you.”