#victim shaming

[furiousgoldfish]

abuser: spends years meticulously isolating, grooming, trapping and sabotaging victim to the point where they don't know they're abused, blame themselves, think abuse is just normal, feel no confidence about any of their skills, have no one and no way of survival if they escape, and they're aware their lives are threatened if they try

society: well why didn't the victim just leave if they didn't like it :/

[kundst]

Nonna Hoogland (Dutch 1999)

Well … She shouldn’t have been naked (1923)

Ceramics (high 50 cm)

The origin story of Medusa li jed to victim shaming. Who is the real monster

(belongs to a group of 5 vases)

[melblogsgfreethruptsd]

[punkstylerecovery]

It's not funny how common victim-shaming and supporting abusers is. So many people like to say they'd support victims, that abusers are disgusting but when it comes to actual situations where they need to support victims/survivors, they waver.

They say, "I don't think that's abusive." They say, "Are you sure that's how it happened?" They say, "But that's not how [X] treated me." They say, "Maybe you two just need some space."

And it makes sense in a way. So many abusers abuse friends and family, which makes for a twisted web to untangle. It's scary to realize you didn't notice abuse happening, or that you participated in it, or that you've been friends/family with someone doing it.

But it's scarier being abused and realizing the people around you won't support you the way you need. It's scarier realizing to everyone else, what's happening to you isn't bad enough for them to help.

It makes me wish people actually knew more about abuse, about how to talk to victims/survivors. Abuse survivors/victims shouldn't have to be the bravest people in the room, fighting even their friends/family to get them to recognize what they've gone through.

[nothing0fnothing]

When I decided to speak up about my experience of childhood abuse as an adult, I wasn't prepared for the level of shaming, victim blaming and gaslighting I received.

I'm not even talking about my experience on this app. That happens, I block, I move on. No, I mean the people in my life, my real life, I had to cut off as a result of deciding to not lie for my abusers any longer.

It was hard, but it was also eye opening. For the first time I had a real understanding into why so few people spoke up for me, tried to defend me, attempted to help me, when I really needed it. When I was too small and too beaten down to speak up, defend or help myself.

My abusers surrounded themselves in a circle of enablers and other abusers. These were the people witnessing my abuse first hand and doing nothing about it. Now I was grown, they were the ones who felt uncomfortable about me telling the truth. Uncomfortable enough to shame me, victim blame me and gaslight me, hoping I'd curl up into silence.

[wastedchildhood]

“not everything is about you” my abusers always told me once i get the guts to tell them they’ve hurt me

[little-witchys-garden]

So I saw a video of a girl, she was walking down this train station and she noticed that these guys were following and filming her just her specifically thou not taking a tiktok video but just filming her and only her.. so she turned on her heels with her phone. she says

" I'm on live, can I help you?"

well that's when these men over their faces and turned on their heels so fast I swear they spun then left now walking as fast as they could. this was a smart idea on her part! you know people will tell you if someone's following you or if someone is videotaping you or doing something really weird to get a video so you have evidence

BUT

the comments are what left me disgusted just a whole bunch of men saying that it's ok that those men did that but how dare she video them back.....

claiming what that group of men did that was ok, she didn't get the consent for videoing, saying " they were being weird" " they weren't being creepy"

And this is what gets me so many men saying that "men just do that, don't be so sensitive."

This is why

" We all know that it's not all men but a lot of them so we protect ourselves and we hold our breath."

Is very popular line...

[bobbie-robron]

So why should I lie for her? Look what happened to me!

21-Mar-2018

[furiousgoldfish]

When abusers pretend you actually control their actions during the abuse it's almost laughable, you're doing this because of something I did? Really? I control you? I decide what you do? In that case get down on your knees apologize for what you did to me. Cry and beg for forgiveness and spend next 10 years repenting for your crimes. No? You won't? Then maybe I don't control what you do. If I did I know what I would be making you do.

No victim ever controlled what their abuser did to them. If they did, they would have stopped the abuse before it even started. No abuser abuses because of something the victim did. They do it out of their own volition, nobody forces them. The victims have zero responsibility for any act of abuse towards them. No victim deserved it. No victim wanted it. No victim was in control. Abusers take control both of themselves and the victim, then blame the victims for the crimes against them. Do not buy into their lies.

[unwelcome-ozian]

[clea-speaks]

(Continued from previous post) I was also harassed on Twitter and called a "wh*re" for talking about how Ronnie Radke was a creep towards me and I'm glad I just kept blocking and ignoring him. These were male super fans of his harassing me. They accused me of sharing a private conversation (which I never did) while saying I was making it all up. They said Ronnie should sue me for slander for talking about it and saying it was creepy. Short recap on Ronnie: I knew of him when he was in Escape The Fate and hearing my friends stories about what a garbage person he is. I've never been a fan of him and always thought he was a dangerous person. In 2010 I started going to Steel Panther's weekly residency they had at House Of Blues on Sunset Strip. I'm not sure when this happened but I think I was heading into the Foundation Room after using the bathroom and he got up in my face making weird noises. Later him and his friends showed up to the 101 Diner in Hollywood and he kept staring at me. My friends wanted to fight him. I stupidly DMed him on Twitter asking what his problem was and he was asking for my number which I refused to give him. I do know in 2011 he had text me from a Las Vegas number at 2am and was asking me to come over. He was dating scene queen Lexus Amanda (Max Green's ex) at the time. I asked "who's this?" and he responded with "Ronnie Radke" to which I immediately blocked him without responding. At some point in 2012 before the Warped Tour Kickoff in March I had received a text from an LA number asking for nudes one night. I asked who it was and he told me it was him. Again blocked him without responding and I gave his number to a friend a week later. She started texting him and sent a selfie because they'd met before and his response was "DUDE I'M IN BED WITH MY GIRLFRIEND" and grilling her, mind you this was at like 3 in the afternoon. At the Warped Tour Kickoff I gave his number to another friend and she text him a selfie and was like "Hey where are you? Let's hang." or something. He never responded to her. Later in the night during his set he looked at her and pointed her. This is not a coincidence. Ronnie proved it was him texting me. Ronnie you are a gross, disgusting creep. Getting girls numbers that you don't know from your "friends" is extremely creepy and a huge red flag. I'm so glad I didn't talk to you and kept blocking you any time you tried to contact me. So many friends have shared stories about you being vile and creepy towards them or how they witnessed you using drugs backstage as recently as 6 years ago when you claim you've been clean and sober since getting out of prison. You may have fooled a lot of people into thinking you're a good dude and are talented but I see through your bullsh*t and see that you're nothing but a fraud and a wolf in sheeps clothing. Hopefully your fans wake up and realize what a scummy person you are one day because you don't deserve to be where you are. Saraya actually seems like a decent and genuine person and can do so much better than you. Hopefully you're treating her better than your ex's. I know all about how badly you treated Lexus, your ex fiancee and other girls.

[alphie-in-the-sky]

Thanks I’m cured! Everyone love some victim shaming AND help-seek shaming.

[sup3rqu33n]

Here we have another queen being disrespected by her douchebag boyfriend, who is also somehow 8 feet tall.

In this game, interestingly; we never see the guys face. His profile shot is his naked torso, placing focus on his height and physique over any other attributes. Finally - a game I can respect. (Totally kidding omfg.)

[nando161mando]

Effects Of Online Public Shaming

Public shaming of individuals over minor or major social transgressions has grown into a massive component of internet discourse, with its share of supporters and detractors. The Onion takes a deep dive into the effects of online public shaming.Read more...

via @theonion