#college!cashton

[daydadahlias]

What do you think you'll write once MiM is over? Do you have any specific plans or ideas?

who knows!! we’ll see what moves me

[manicpixiefelix]

head, heart, hand. {Felix Catton/Reader/Oliver Quick}

Part 3.

Summary: Your second year at Oxford brings with it Farleigh, much to your delight, and you get to learn about Farleigh's personal nemesis (which he rolls his eyes at every time you call him that) Oliver. It turns out Oliver's actually very lovely, and does Felix quite the favour one unassuming morning. Farleigh's not happy to see him again, but Felix is.

{ masterpost }

Need to Know: They/Them. Explicitly NB Reader. FWB!Reader/Felix. Reader is from a well off family but has pretty much been adopted by the Cattons.

Warnings: heavy drinking by everyone at the pub including the reader, and 'dog' being used to demean the reader once.

A/N: 5101 words. much longer than the last ones, and we finally have oliver!! very excited to FINALLY be able to write their weird little fuckin dynamic at oxford, i love them all very much. im a bit unhappy with the pacing of the beginning but i like how it picks up once oli is introduced, but also the bar scene is SO LONG and i will not apologise i love them your honour. id be mighty grateful for any feedback or if you have any thoughts in general about the story, i stare at so many kind asks in my inbox lovingly, i will answer them very soon i promise!! also this is so unedited, sorry lol.

Taglist: @strangemaximoff @renaissance-mama @tsach @malscorner @xhoneymoonx134 @yelchinweasleylothbrok @tarriea @florencediet @butitsbetterifyoudoittoem @belladonnadarksshade @fandom-multiamory @snazzynacho @jubileexoxo @soocore @be-lla-vie @nightingale2124 @willow-sages @null4ndv0id @gracieluvthemoon @day2dream @marvellover98 @navixfr @bitxhinthecomments @daintylovers @alesunsets @noturningbacknow @d0llysposts @alilcloudy @callsignwidow @moviequotes23 @325575 @bonnieblue0606 @osoqueen125 @hot-dino-nuggies @darkness-falls-xo @mattymurderdocks @flowerecs @weepingwitchofthewest @ilovemydinoboi @marsmallow433 @king0flies @cashtons-wife

----

At first you don't notice him for who he is. At first you hear about Farleigh's insufferable tutoring partner. At first, Oliver Quick means absolutely nothing to you.

The most important part of your second year of college is that Farleigh has finally conceded to joining you and Felix at Oxford. Once, during the last Summer break, while Felix had been off confronting his at-the-time good friend Eddie, after Farleigh had told him Eddie and Venetia had been sleeping together, you and Farleigh had gotten high in the maze to avoid the fallout.

Since the Cattons were paying for his education, he'd admitted that he wanted to remove himself as much as possible from his mother's legacy and memory and the guilt Sir James held about his sister. It would be hard to do at a college where he would be a legacy student because of his mother's attendance. You think you partly understood; certain people, usually staff, liked to kiss your ass when they found out about your own legacy status and the people your parents became, you're not so sure they'd treat Farleigh the same, all things considered.

But he's out of options.

Sometimes you're not sure what to make of Farleigh; his strange place in the Catton family was never something they seemed to like to discuss around you, but Farleigh was far more candid about it. So when he pulls these stunts, gets himself kicked out of schools, puts himself in precarious positions despite how you knew he genuinely enjoyed academics, especially literature, you can't help but wonder why.

"Don't try and pathologize it," you could hear him rolling his eyes as he attempted to scale the minotaur statue in the middle of the maze. Looking up at him from where you're laying in the grass, you watch him rise above the walls into the sunshine. Maybe it's dangerous, maybe he should stop, get down, be safe, but he looks far more content up there, on the edge. Maybe he feels freer up there, even if he knows it's not true.

So now he's with you and Felix at Oxford, a first year only academically, he slots perfectly into the group of friends you'd both already managed to collect.

The point is, you have no idea that of everything that happens in those first few weeks of your second year, the parties, the hook ups, the social dances you found yourself doing, that the guy Farleigh likes to complain about from his tutoring sessions - Oliver, Farleigh always says it with an eye roll - would mean so much more to you than you'd ever expect.

Everything about the man you would come to find extraordinary, from the outside, was completely, and charmingly, ordinary. Including how you'd met him.

Felix had overslept again, and threw a pillow at the door when you'd stuck your head into his room to remind him that he had classes. You'd left yourself enough time to walk, but Felix would have to at least run if he didn't get his ass up soon, or would ride his bike instead. Its on your way, so you duck your head in to at least check it there.

What you don't expect is the unassuming man with dark hair to have a gentle, almost caressing hand on the tire of Felix's bike. When you make a confused noise, he about jumps a foot in the air.

"Sorry," he seems to shrink in from himself, recoiling from the bike like he'd been caught red handed, "just admiring." He babbles, but can't meet your eyes. For a moment, you look over him, before turning your attention to the ludicrously expensive mountain bike that Felix has always taken for granted.

"It is a nice bike," you find yourself grinning, stepping towards the bike and giving the tire a squeeze, both as a show of your own appreciation, and to test the pressure, just in case, "didn't mean to spook you..." And you trail off, prompting for his name, holding your hand out.

It hangs in the air for a moment, and the man before you gives you a proper look over. The way he holds himself, as if trying to take up as little space as physically possible, but his eyes, his gaze, oh it longed to swallow whole every detail of everything he cast it upon.

"Oliver," he says after a very long moment. Despite his demure voice, there's something deliberate, unwavering about it, "Quick," he follows it up with, "I'm Oliver Quick." And he ducks his gaze, sparing you from his intensity as you shake his hand.

"Oliver Quick," you turn the name over on your tongue; the same Oliver that Farleigh's been complaining about, you ponder, before giving him a smile, "I'm Y/N." As soon as the handshake drops, Oliver's doing that thing again, shrinking back and looking uncomfortable in the space.

"Yeah, I think I've seen you around," Oliver nods but can't meet your gaze, "around campus, I mean -" Which reminds you -

"Fuck, I'm almost running late," you hissed, spinning on your heel, "sorry to run Ollie, you seem lovely!" You call over your shoulder as you bolt to class, hearing him calling out;

"No trouble," and awkwardly trailing off the further away you get, "you seem... very nice too..."

Bursting through the door to your tutorial with five minutes to spare, your lecture looks up from his desk for a brief moment. Giving him a nod, you try and slip past him to grab a seat by one of your friends, chatting near the back, when he raises his voice.

"No Mister Catton today either, I presume," he says with a sigh, and you again check you watch before plastering on an apologetic smile.

"He'll be here," you assured, "promise." The professor did not seem impressed.

Sitting next to India, she immediately greets you with a hug.

"Felix hung over?" She grins, and you anyway in respond with a smirk.

"After last night? I'd assume so."

"King's Arms tonight?"

"Of course."

When he does eventually show up, it's ten minutes late with an apology about how his bike had gotten a flat tire. The professor, just tells him to take a seat, and Felix does with many placating thanks, sliding into one of the open few open seats in the row in front of yours. Ruffling his hair, he throws a faintly guilty grin over his shoulder at you and India, telling you both not to start.

After the tutorial, you fully intend of having lunch with India, as the two of you don't have any other classes until the afternoon, the two of you walk with Felix to where he'd stashed his bike before his next lecture. Except -

"That's not yours," you look at the bicycle curiously, "I thought you had a flat."

"Had," Felix agrees, wheeling the unfamiliar bike from the rack with a grin, "bloody angel of a man lent me his."

"Of course someone just gave you their bike," India chuckles, reaching out to give Felix's shoulder a squeeze before he mounts the bike with intent to take off.

"Lent," Felix grinned back, "I'm gonna give it back."

"And what about yours?" You asked, eyebrows raised.

"He took it back for me."

"Your hero," you laughed, shaking your head at him.

"My absolute hero," Felix agreed, "I'll tell you about it later, okay? King's Arms tonight?"

And once he's away, and you and India are on your way to the campus cafe, her arm tucked in hers, she gives you a knowing, almost exasperated smile.

"You're already trying to figure out how to fix his tire, aren't you?" Her nails dig a little too much and her smile's a little too sly and her tone almost grates against a thought you don't like to consider, so you push it to the back of your mind and give an embarrassed little smile.

"Was it that obvious?"

"No, but you are," she leans in, lips almost against your ear, smile in her voice, "endearingly predictable," she murmurs against the shell of your ear, "you're always wrapped up in him."

"Right now I seem to be rather wrapped up in you," you rest your free hand on hers, tucked into the crook of her elbow, taking her hint and lowering your voice to something flirty.

"And make darling Felix wait?" She teased in response. Instead of answering her properly, you ask her back to your dorm under the guise of lunch and she happily accepts.

The bike shop is closed and Felix has class and you can't even be sure if this supposed bike saviour has even returned Felix's bike by now; there's no waiting, but India likes feeling prioritised, so you keep all that to your self. India likes to feel important in Felix's life. Anyone who Felix spends even a little of his time and attention on ends up rather addicted to that feeling, to feeling special to Felix Catton, and India is one of the many who have picked up on your own importance to the man himself.

So you're not dating India. You're also not not dating India; you're a placeholder of sorts, which would be cruel to you if you didn't like her well enough or if you weren't satisfied taking your fun with her. It would also probably be cruel to India if she knew the truth, that Felix thought she was hot and wasn't ready to commit to maybe dating her, but that he was getting that way he sometimes got about people, that he wanted them around, wanting to not share them, but without devoting himself to them. That's where you come in. A placeholder. A proxy. An almost. Someone who makes this pretty girl feel important and close to Felix. Someone Felix isn't worried about falling in love with India even while keeping her happy and around.

When you arrive late to the King's Arms with your own around India's shoulders, Felix lights up while Farleigh, from beside him, narrows his eyes with a smirk.

"Cute shade of lipstick," he says slyly, even as he moves over at Felix's insistence to fit both yourself and India in the booth beside him. Farleigh flicks the collar of the shirt you'd thrown on in a rush to get dressed for afternoon classes, "on both of you."

"Are you jealous, Farleigh?" India grins, taking it all in stride as you pull your collar out with your thumb to try and inspect it. India's lipstick was smeared faintly against the collar from where she'd been enthusiastically kissing her way down your jaw a few hours earlier.

"Of course," Farleigh's sly smile widens to a cocky grin, and he winks at her, while she leans over you to plant a kiss on the corner of his mouth with a wicked grin.

"Right in front of her partner?" Annabel, Felix's latest fling was on his other side, reaching over Felix to shove Farleigh's shoulder with a scandalised laugh.

"Not really together," India mused, even as she shifted to lean heavily against you, her arm around you and tucking herself up by your side. You nodded in kind, shrugging as Felix had to hide his laughter in his pint.

"And besides," Farleigh declares in a voice you knew all too well, "if anyone knows how to share it's Y/N," with a cheshire-cat smile and making a show of putting his hand far up your thigh under the table. Surprised by the outright boldness of it all, Felix, who had been trying to take a sip to cover his amusement, ends up snorting beer out of his nose as he laughs, which sets the whole table off.

It's later in the night, several rounds of drinks and plates of chips, when you finally remember to ask Felix about his bike. There's this look in his eyes as he recounts the details, how he'd somehow gotten on the wrong side of something small and sharp when he'd been found by his 'absolute hero'.

"Ollie," he says brightly, "Ollie - Oliver - something, I don't -" he's babbling, and though he doesn't at the time, both yourself and Farleigh react, though in vastly different ways.

"Oliver?" Farleigh draws out the name with disdain, like it's done him some sort of personal affront, or set off a bad smell, judging by his expression.

"Don't make that face," Felix rolls his eyes, giving Farleigh a good-natured shove, but it's all becoming background noise to you as you glance over your shoulder. In your mind, all you can focus on the brief but captivating moments you shared with a blue-eyed Oliver just this morning. As if by fate, when you finally come back to reality, and realise you're staring at the bar, you see those same blue eyes staring back at you, intense and surprised.

"There he is!" Behind you, Felix's voice raises above the din of the pub with barely restrained glee, "Ollie! Oliver! Oliver!" And immediately those blue eyes snap to your attention-grabbing best friend, "come over here, mate!" Felix insists, and you drop your gaze with a faint smile.

As Felix loudly and insistently vies for Oliver's attention and company, you briefly raise your gaze, only to see the disdain on Farleigh's face having grown immensely.

Oliver. Farleigh's classmate Oliver. Insufferable tutoring Oliver. Know-it-all Oliver. 'Thus' Oliver. No regard for style in his academics or his wardrobe Oliver.

Felix's hero, Oliver.

Considering how much joy Farleigh took from ribbing you at every given opportunity, just to see your squirm for his amusement, you supposed you could take some joy from his discomfort in this moment. When he sees your smug smile he scowls at you.

"This guy's my fucking hero," you've heard that warmth in Felix's voice a hundred times over, "just telling everyone how you saved my ass today," you wonder how long it will take Oliver to fall for him too.

Oliver, for his part, plays at being abashed as the rest of the group gives him faint compliments, gaze surprisingly shallow as he takes you all in. Keeping your own eyes down for the moment, you take the cigarette from India that you'd been sharing with her. You quickly reach into Felix's jean pocket beside you for the lighter you know is there, and when you look up to light it, cigarette poised between your lips, you see Oliver's gaze momentarily focused on the lack of space between yourself and Felix, where your hand had disappeared. Felix, you know without even having to look at him, hasn't even looked away from Oliver once.

"Take a seat, I owe you a drink," Felix grins, and is already shoving the few people on his left, before you put a hand on his arm to get him to settle down.

"Could you get the next round, India?" You ask her quietly, and though she hesitates for a moment, she relents, considering it was meant to be her shout after all.

Oliver is hesitating as India stands and smooths out her skirt, heading for the bar, and finally Felix remembers that most people's worlds don't revolve around him.

"Oh, sorry, are you with friends?"

Another moment of deliberation from Oliver, before he finally relents to Felix, and agrees to join them. Looking around, there's a chair next to a table behind Farleigh that was going unused, or -

When you pat the now empty seat at the end of the booth beside yourself, you're not looking at Oliver. Chin in your hand and cigarette poised between your fingers, you're giving Farleigh a grin that's all teeth, while he looks like he's trying to stave off a sudden tension headache.

"Come here, Oliver Quick," you refuse to explain your smug smile, "I don't bite."

"Yes they do," Farleigh huffs in irate response, to which most of the rest of the group cracks up. The leather beside you shifts, and you can feel the heat Oliver radiates before you even look at him.

"Quick, Oliver Quick!" Felix, behind you, is muttering almost to himself, before adding, "wait, how did you know that?" And throwing himself practically over your shoulder as you'd turned to face Oliver properly.

"We met this morning," you say quietly, gaze fixed on Oliver's, on the way he's taking you both in. With Felix's chin on your shoulder, the two of you cheek to cheek and watching him with interest, it could be enough to send anyone else running. But his gaze isn't the shallow one he'd ghosted across the others, he's drinking this moment, and the both of you, in. Smile stretching wide across your face and you tip your head against Felix's, "just as lovely as I thought," and turning your face even slightly towards Felix means your lips against his temple, not that either of you seem to mind, "your hero."

"My fuckin' hero," Felix agrees adamantly, though you and he sit back as India approaches with a tray of pints and an exasperated look.

"And you've given up my seat," she sighs, placing the drinks on the table for everyone else to take their share. Farleigh's already passive-aggressively reached behind himself to grab the extra empty chair, and you promise to make it up to her with a heavy layer of implications that the rest of the table snickers at.

Introductions are made and drinks are had and the night carries on apace until you, at the very least, felt like you could call yourself reasonably wasted. Despite how quiet Oliver is in the general conversation, Felix makes a point of always including him, arm around your shoulders so he can lean across you to talk to him, while Oliver just tried to keep up.

Everything about Oliver shouted that these people weren't his people; his clothes, his accent, his vernacular, his very unfamiliarity with who so many of them were considering their families were often titans of industry. Still, you respected the effort he was making to keep up. Whenever even the hint of a joke at Oliver's expense could be felt in the air, Felix shut it down, and though it started out subtle, it became less so as the night wore on; the grateful look on Oliver's face, even as he tried to duck to hide it, said how much he appreciated the gesture.

It's decided almost unanimously by the time you have to buy a round that it should be the first round of shots for the table. Several more would be to come, but you were getting tequila, and all the fanfare that came with it.

Getting back to the table you find Oliver's slid into your spot by Felix. Though he tries to apologise and get up, you shush him, insisting it's fine as you sit down next to him with the tray of shots topped with lime wedges, and the shot glass half full of salt for the table the bartender had kindly provided.

"You do know this is why I was late to my tutorial this morning," Felix still helped himself to a shot glass with lime as the salt was being passed around the table.

"Salt?" Oliver frowned at the glass in front of him, "lime?"

"You've never done tequila shots before?" Farleigh scoffed, holding India's hand up in front of himself where she'd offered it to him to apply salt.

"No, I haven't," is all Oliver can say awkwardly, watching as Farleigh sprinkled a line of salt across the back of India's aloft hand, licking it up in one swift motion before he took the shot and bit the lime in quick succession.

"Salt, shot, lime," you give Oliver a nudge to bring his attention back to you.

"Salt, shot, lime," Oliver repeats, looking from his glass to the glass full of salt that Felix had reached over and brought to your side of the table, "do I have to lick the salt off of someone else?"

"Not necessarily," Felix says from his other side, while Annabel giggled and allowed him to apply salt to her hand.

"More fun that way," she adds coyly.

"Not unless you want to," your own shot glass sits untouched, salt now sitting between both your glasses.

"Do you- should I-" Oliver's stumbling over his words, fidgeting with the end of the lime.

"Lick it off their neck," Farleigh barked from across the table, and though you tried to tell Oliver that he didn't have to do anything like that, and Felix's disappointed admonishment of his cousin, the entire rest of the table, who had finished their own shots and were now invested in the drama, light up with agreement.

"You're so crass, you're gonna give him the wrong idea," Felix groaned, rolling his eyes with frustration.

"I love Y/N but I don't think there is a wrong idea about them -"

"Watch what the fuck you say about them, Farleigh -"

"Watch what I say about your fucking dog-?"

"I'll lick their neck!" Oliver announces at the top of his lungs, interrupting the vicious barb, and the way Felix had practically leapt across half the table in a sudden fury. For a long moment, tense silence hangs in the air, Farleigh half out of his chair, wearing a sneer, and Felix braced over the table with white-knuckled fists pressed into the woodgrain. Then, as Felix sits back down and things begin to ease, once again all eyes return to Oliver, who's shifting in his seat, looking at you with almost apology in his eyes, "if- if you're okay with that."

After a beat, you break into a self deprecating smile.

"I do like getting my neck licked," you laughed, and immediately angled your head and pulled the collar of your shirt to the side so he could have a better angle and more of your shoulder to apply salt. The tension dropped almost entirely as everyone but Farleigh and Felix burst out in cheers. Chatter arose again as Oliver fumbled with the salt, but you caught Felix's eyes from behind him. Tension in his brow that you longed to smooth away, and discomfort in his gaze, but when you smiled you could see him take a breath, and smile back.

"I won't bite," it comes as a surprise when you hear Oliver say this, so quiet only you can hear as he diligently applies a sprinkle of salt to the soft skin of where your throat meets your shoulder, "promise," you can't see his expression but you think you can hear him smirking. It actually sounds almost like flirting.

India's been glaring at you across the table whenever she hasn't been flirting overtly with Farleigh for the past half an hour. So you flirt back.

"Not even if I ask nicely?" You murmur back, trying to repress the thrill that the whole moment was giving you. You hear the faintest, momentary rumble of a laugh from Oliver before you feel his hand on your thigh as if to steady himself, and his tongue on your neck. It's barely a second of contact, the delicate caress of his mouth as he licked the line of salt clear from your skin. Quickly, he then takes the shot, and swallows before biting down on the lime, making a pained face as the table cheered.

His hand is still on your thigh; his grip is tight.

As he's spluttering and grinning and Felix is clapping him on the back for the effort, he's rather abashedly offering himself to you, if you'd like to repeat the same salt process on him -

"You've done enough for your first shot, Ollie," you told him with a fond nudge, happily applying salt to the back of your own hand, completing the ritual with far less fanfare. Still, when you glance past Oliver to Felix, you see the way he's regarding the newcomer, with a kind of awe and warmth. This too you know well.

Crammed so close in the booth, Felix's arm stays around Oliver's shoulders for most of the rest of the night, and while no-one can see it, Oliver's hand remains on your thigh. Sometimes he taps along to the music of the pub that you've already tuned out, sometimes he's rubbing small circles with his thumb, or give you a squeeze when he's laughing at a joke, but it never waivers.

The more drunk you become, the more you find yourself leaning into him, and you begin to tune out the conversation, focusing only on your drink, the warmth of Oliver and his hand on you, and on the sensation of Felix's hand playing with your hair since his arm was around Oliver's shoulders, and you're leaning your head against him.

Everything's become blurry, your brain is still trying to catch up after you take another shot from muscle memory alone when Farleigh starts insisting on Oliver shout the next round, and for that round to be jaeger bombs.

"We just did shots," you shake your head with a faint frown, but the movement makes you feel all kind of queasy.

"You tapping out?" Farleigh, in much better spirits considering how many he'd consumed, is all wide, challenging smiles full of teeth.

"Nope," you again shake your head, against your better judgement, "never ever ever." Everything is spinning, even with your eyes closed.

"Then you shouldn't be letting Ollie snake his way out of paying for his round," Farleigh sounds all kinds of smug, and despite how you're all kind of done with him for tonight, and Oliver is trying to insist that he's not trying to wiggle out of paying for a round, the rest of the table have apparently taken up Farleigh's crusade. They're booing him, hissing at him, while Farleigh's smugness screams social triumph; you can feel Oliver's fingers twitching on your thigh, like he wants to be fidgeting but can't bring himself to let you go.

"Fine," Oliver relents to the peer pressure, letting you go and throwing his hands in the air, "can you move a sec?" He asks, and you shuffle out to let him past, before scooting back in and back beside a once more frustrated Felix.

Farleigh argues that it's the rules of the pub when Felix asks him to give Oliver a break, but you don't really hear them. You've cleared enough space on the table in front of you to be able to cross your arms on the table, laying your head on your arms to try and see if it would help. Felix is rubbing soothing circles on your back as he argues with Farleigh, probably out of pure habit, so you try and focus on that sensation, and picking a point that you see that you can focus on.

Everything's sideways, the bar, the people, the street outside, but it doesn't matter. In the moments you find yourself focusing on Oliver in the cool light of the bar, everything else falls away. He looks antsy and uncomfortable, watching the bartender pour the shots, wallet in his hand. You'd have paid in a heartbeat if Farleigh hadn't been so insistent on attacking Oliver's pride. Everything else about him was so charmingly ordinary, perhaps that's why Farleigh was infuriated by him, and why he'd attacked Oliver's pride, one of the few things that Farleigh probably believed Oliver had of value to himself.

Tomorrow, you and Farleigh were having words.

Tonight, you wanted to somehow help Oliver without making any kind of big deal about it. Problem was, you weren't sure how. You weren't even sure if you were capable of walking in straight line right now.

"Fi -" when you turn your head to your other side, you see Felix, half finished a cigarette, with a pensive look on his face as he too was watching Oliver. When he looks at you there's a moment that the two of you share, of understanding, of compassion and a shared goal, "can you get me a glass of water?" You asked, knowing he'd take the hint. Thankfully, he smiles at you, the two of you shuffling once more so he could get out of the booth and head towards Oliver and the bar.

Leaning on the end of the booth, you wait for Felix to return before you sit back down, instead focusing on the interaction between the two men at the bar. It's not that you can hear them, but you can see the grateful but anxious look in Oliver's eyes, and the way he can't look away from Felix's smile, and something sharp and bright and intrigued lights up in your chest.

There's a moment as the interaction begins winding down, when Felix takes the tray of drinks, and looks back at your gathered group of friends. His eyes meet yours, faint flicker of familiar affection passing in the next moment as he says something else to Oliver before he's making a beeline back to the group.

"Thank you, Ollie!" He announces brightly, much to the cheer and delight of the rest of the group once the jaeger bombs are set down at the table. Caught up in the sudden influx of joy, you chant Ollie's name, clapping along, not even realising that since you'd let go of the booth you were starting to take on a lean.

"You're fucking legless," Felix crows with laughter, who had already slid back into the booth and was now taking you by the arm and sitting you back down beside himself, "I'm cutting you off, you're on the waters now," he joked, arm around you to steady you, though you weren't inclined to disagree. Thankfully, in the next moment, a water was being placed in front of you, and a cheer was once again rising from the group as Oliver rejoined you all, bashful smile on his face as everyone was lavishing praise on him for following through with buying the round.

The glass was cold and clear and faintly frosted, few ice cubes floating delicately on top of the pint of water before you, looking absolutely perfect in this golden, humid pub. Even just reaching out and holding the cold glass of water in your hands seemed to make everything a little less blurry at the edges.

As you dragged the glass towards you, surprised by your sudden craving for fresh, cold water, praise tumbles from your lips, words half blurring together, and Oliver takes his seat once more beside you.

"Ollie, you're my fucking hero."

[virgo-mess]

Good Cop, Bad Cop

Chapter 1: Good Cop

TW: None for this chapter

Reader’s Pov

            You hum softly to yourself inhaling the salty scent of the New England coastline as you walk down Manomet beach with your shoes in your hands. You had missed taking your morning walks along the beach since moving to New York for school twelve years ago. You had always intended on moving back to your hometown of Plymouth, Massachusetts after you graduated, but life seemed to have other plans for you. You had landed a well-paying job as an investment broker on Wall Street after college and had managed to work your way up to Senior Vice President at your company. The success of your position allowed you to live very comfortably in New York with extra perks like big end of the year bonuses and paid time off but often left the personal aspects of your life neglected.

You hadn’t been home in two years, which was also due in part to a really messy breakup. You started to work extra hours after that. You had thought keeping yourself busy would help you get over it. It had worked for a little bit, but you ultimately ended up burning yourself out. You also may have had a very small mental breakdown in the middle office last week. Your boss all but forced you to use the paid time off you’d accumulated to clear your head and cope the healthy way. Heading back home for four weeks seemed like the best way to decompress and catch up with old friends. Everything just happened to line up perfectly with your best friend Daisy’s wedding, too; she had asked you to be one of her maids of honor months ago. The wedding was quickly approaching. People were already driving and flying in for the Bachelorette and Bachelor parties. Hosting them close together seemed like the best option.

You’re abruptly pulled out of your inner thoughts and daydreams when you bump into something hard. You let out a yelp as the force of the impact has you flying backwards. Before you know it, you’re staring up at the sky. The back of your head is throbbing a bit, and you can feel the sting of freshly scraped skin on your elbows. You let out a pained groan as you move yourself to sit up, wondering what you even walked into. Your unspoken question is answered when you feel large hands grip your upper arms.

“Easy now, sorry about that butterfly” comes a deep voice in a soothing tone, you couldn’t remember the last time anyone used that nickname for you but there was only ever one person that really called you that. You take a moment to focus your attention on the figure in front of you and recognize their icy blue eyes instantly. You take a moment to look him over since you hadn’t seen him in nearly twelve years. His hair is now grey instead of black, but he’s still got that dark, alluring, brooding prettiness to his face. This doesn’t surprise you because Cashton Micheal “Cash” Ewing had always been gorgeous, all the girls at school drooled over him, and you were no different. You had moved into the house next to his when you were seven, and it was only natural that you guys became friends.

“Cash” you said softly feeling a sudden blush spread across your cheeks as you register that he had been what you walked into. You were able to make out the ripple of his muscles through his white t-shirt he is a cop after all. He gave you a quick dazzling smile but there was something dark swirling in his eyes as he stared back at you intensely.

“You remember me that’s good. You were so quiet; I was beginning to think you hit your head too hard. Are you okay?” he asked sincerely as he looked you over rubbing his thumbs in small circles. You don’t miss the way his eyes linger on your breasts and then the tops of your thighs. You quickly move to pull the hem of your dress down, not noticing how much it had ridden up during your fall.

“I’m fine, I feel great” you blurt out, forcing a smile on your face you were sure you were as red as a tomato by now. You look at him briefly before attempting to scramble to your feet on your own, but Cash doesn’t let you. He throws you a reassuring smile before wrapping an arm around your waist. He helps you up slowly and makes sure you’re stable before letting go.

“I’m glad you feel great, y/n. You look great too” he said in a low, almost seductive tone that leaves you feeling hot all over. You see a slight smirk tug on his lips as he raises his brows a bit at you. You let out a nervous chuckle.

“You are also looking great, sir.” you said very awkwardly. “Are you going to the wedding?” You ask quickly, trying to change the subject, so he’ll focus on anything but you. There’s an amused sort of glint in his eyes now, but ultimately, he takes the bait.

“Yes, I’m going to be a groomsman, are you?” he asked, you nodded letting an excited sort of smile cross your face.

“Yeah, I’m a maid of honor” you said in a boastful tone. Almost like it was the biggest achievement you’d ever made. Quite sadly, it was the highlight of the last two years of her life. Cash smiled softly at you, but that dark sort of emotion was swirling in his eyes again. You're not sure what it is, Cash had always been so nice to you. But something about him feels different.

“Of course, you are that was a dumb question. I forgot how close you and Daisy are” he admitted. You nod your head with a small smile.

“Yeah, you’ve been away for a long time. Wanna tell me what you’ve been up to while we grab coffee?” you asked, finally slipping your white tennis shoes back on. Cash gave you a half smile as he nodded his head.

“Sure, but there’s not that much to tell” he said honestly, moving to walk in step with you as you make your way off the beach to your car.

Cash’s Pov

            Cash can’t help the way he bites down on his lip as he watches you walk back up to the coffee counter, appreciating the way the thin material of your tiny dress clings to your ass. You, the pretty girl next door, his pretty little butterfly had occupied so many of his thoughts and dreams back then. His first crush; if Cash had it his way, you would’ve been his first everything. It surprised him how quickly the thoughts and desires he had for you had crept back in on him. Time wasn’t on his side back then. By the time he had worked up the courage to do something about it, you were running off to New York. He thought about applying to the NYPD after he finished up at the academy, thought he’d run it by you when he saw you that Christmas, the last Christmas he came home for. When he got back, you, of course, were with some dick head you’d met at school. It was then that Cash impulsively decided to take a job in Cleveland and forget about you. It worked somewhat, but thinking about it now, he only dated women who reminded him of you in some way. Cash already knew what he was going to do with you; he figured it all out while you were gazing up at him with those beautiful innocent eyes of yours. The way you checked him out only spurred him on. It gave him a bit of hope that you weren’t going to be entirely resistant.

            His suspension had made him somewhat of a loose cannon, and his days of patiently waiting for what he wanted were long gone. Cash had it all planned out already. For now, he would charm you, play the good cop, soften you up just a bit, and then later he would take you just the way he always wanted to. When it was over, he’d simply turn the charm right back on and quite possibly do it all over again. Cash didn’t care how he got you as long as he did. He had decided he would have you the minute you let him scoop you off the ground.

            “Here’s your coffee” you said softly before setting it in front of him. Cash threw you his best smile watching a deep blush spread across your cheeks.

            “Thank you butterfly.”

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

Fake Dating (2) Masterlist

part one

and i fell for the lie that i told (ao3) - jbhmalum Calum/Ashton T, 10k

Summary: "If Calum is being honest — and Calum is always honest — it starts out as something completely innocent."

In which cashton get annoyed at the paps for always being there on their coffee runs and so they start to fuck with them. And the fans. And basically the entire world. Calum really shouldn't be that surprised when he starts catching feelings.

OR: 5 times Calum and Ashton pretend to be a couple in front of the cameras, and 1 time they are one, for nobody but themselves.

Epoch (ao3) - lourrygum Michael/Luke E, 10k

Summary: But Michael’s in a band, of course. He hasn’t spent over two months in his own home in over four years and he definitely hasn’t spent up to that amount of time anywhere else. L.A.’s the only place where they’d stuck around long enough to stop getting lost often enough to have to spend fifteen minutes on Google maps figuring out where the hell they were. And even then, they only stayed for around six weeks. It’s not like six weeks isn’t enough to meet someone, but it’s definitely not enough to start to like them and date them and continue to like them enough to put an effort into the long-distance thing.

or, michael's parents are worried, luke wants to help, calum can't lie, and ashton knows best

for real - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) Calum/Ashton, brief Calum/OMC T, 4k

Summary: Michael keeps trying to set Calum up on blind dates, and one day Calum accidentally slips and says he has a boyfriend when he doesn't, so Ashton offers to be his fake boyfriend. It works, until Calum messes things up.

i got a long-term plan (with short-term fixes) (ao3) - bellawritess Michael/Luke T, 4k

Summary: Michael comes into the bookstore one day with the weirdest request he’s made of Luke in the almost-year they’ve known each other.

“I need a hot boyfriend,” he announces. “You in?”

Luke frowns very slowly. “To help you find a hot boyfriend?”

“To be my hot boyfriend,” Michael says, like it’s obvious. “Temporarily.”

It's Almost Like Being In Love (ao3) - sugarysnaps Luke/Ashton G, 22k

Summary: Upon entering the small jewelry shop Luke felt a surge of reality wash over him. It’d been nice in their little bubble of fake engagement. But now that they were here to replace the fake ring for their fake engagement to convince his parents of a lie, reality was a force to be reckoned with.

After a drunken posting online Luke Hemmings has found himself caught up in an intricate lie; a fake engagement to his college dorm mate, Ashton Irwin. During spring break the two must convince their families of their relationship all the while battling with interfering feelings and obstacles of secrets and pasts that are bound to catch up to them. Through the trials and tribulations of the lies and secrets, the two may find happiness within each other. Not every lie is completely devoid of truth, and perhaps their "fake" feelings hold unspoken truths.

Meet Me Under the Mistletoe (ao3) - allsassnoclass (brightblackholes) Michael/Ashton, background Luke/Calum T, 15k

Summary: Michael has been letting everyone at the office believe he has a boyfriend for the past few months. Things become complicated when they ask to meet his boyfriend at the company winter party.

"No" Probably Would Have Sufficed (ao3) - littleficlets (addictedkitten) Michael/Luke, past Michael/Harry G, 366

Summary: "Am I going to have to pretend to be your boyfriend for the rest of the tour?"

Of Plastic Flowers And Enthusiastic Mothers (It's Always Been You) (ao3) - thecoloursinthegravel Luke/Ashton, minor Michael/Calum N/R, 9k

Summary: Ashton asks Luke to pretend to be his date for his cousin’s wedding. (For his mum’s sake, of course.) Luke has this teeny tiny little issue in that he’s kind of maybe slightly very much in love with Ashton. And boy, does Ashton look good in a suit.

put the stars in our eyes (ao3) - burstintocolor (anchormate) Luke/Calum M, 25k

Summary: Ben hangs up, leaving Luke still reeling. His family thinks he and Cal are dating. And they weren’t surprised. They’d been waiting for it. His mum cried because she was so happy for him. And worst of all, he hadn’t had a chance to correct Ben. Luke rolls over on his bed, burying his face in his pillow and letting out a groan.

or, luke's family thinks he's dating calum. luke doesn't correct them.

Too Close to See (ao3) - allsassnoclass (brightblackholes) Michael/Calum T, 20k

Summary: “Oh,” his mother breathes. “You and Calum finally figured it out.”

That is not what he was thinking. He’s not entirely sure what he was thinking, but passing Calum off as his boyfriend was not it. Still, Michael is not one to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“Yes, Calum and I figured it out, so I’ll be bringing him to the wedding. No need to set me up with anyone, because I’m dating Calum.”

under the mistletoe - @sup3rbloom (haveufoundwhaturlookingfor) Michael/Luke, Calum/Ashton, Sierra/Crystal T, 3k

Summary: Michael needs a date to his work's Christmas party. Luke offers to be his fake date. Michael should be thrilled about this, but Michael's had a crush on Luke ever since they met each other. Now he has to fake date Luke for a party when his feelings aren't fake at all.

wish I could say something (ao3) - irwah Calum/Ashton G, 6k

Summary: “What do you mean you’re getting married?!” Comes Luke’s tinny voice, squeaking through the speakers of Ashton’s phone.

"It just makes sense, Lu.” Ashton sighs. “I don’t have the money to go back to paying full rent for the flat and he doesn’t wanna get sent back to France. It just works, logistically.”

Or: the Brexit fake dating AU that no-one asked for

you are the sun (and i’m just the planets spinning around you) (ao3) - orphan_account Michael/Luke, Calum/Ashton T, 17k

Summary: "are you ready for this?” his ‘boyfriend’ asked, squeezing his hand again and giving him a reassuring smile.

― michael’s being forced to go to a stupid family event, even though it really does seem like just yesterday that he was being forced to fly out to australia for his nan’s funeral. it wasn't like he hated his nan and didn't want to mourn her death, he just honestly couldn't be bothered to deal with his family’s constant digs and comments about how unlovable he was and how he should definitely be in a relationship by his age. but ashton had a way to fix that, it all just depended on whether luke agreed or not.

(or: the fake dating fic.)

you're still the best thing in my life (ao3) - forforever (preciousthings) Luke/Calum G, 2k

Summary: in which luke gets drunk, tweets something stupid, and is in love with his best friend the whole time.

[5sos-fic-fest]

Meet Jess!

Name:

Jess

Tumblr URL:

@daydadahlias​​​

Archive of Our Own Username:

cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)

Favorite 5sos song?

~Lie to Me~

Three songs you’ve been listening to?

Caramel by 5sos, We've Got it Goin' On by the backstreet boys, and 29 Demi Lovato  

What do you enjoy most about writing fic?

I enjoy the connectivity that comes from it!! Getting to talk with readers and other writers is a truly wonderful thing.

Describe the vibe of your songfic in three words:

cute, college, cashton

Special Promo:

Craft Club

[allsassnoclass]

2022 Writing Evaluation

I was tagged by the wonderful Bella @clumsyclifford (thank you for digging this up and tagging me first because i 100% was going to do it anyway lol)

also my pseudonyms are combined on ao3 so although this is my 5sos blog you will be hearing about my other fandom writing as well

1. number of stories posted on ao3: 17!

2. word count posted for this year: 124,269 on ao3, 23,433 for ask box prompts, so a grand total of 147,702!

3. fandoms i wrote for: 5sos, 1d, It (2017 and 2019 movies), Stranger Things, HSMTMTS, Cobra Kai

4. pairings: on ao3 we have some nice crisp muke, lashton, mashton, mashton (friendship version), cashton, cake, malum, narry, lilo (and then also kiaz and caswen (friendship(?) version) and reddie and hellcheer).  adding in the ask box prompts and we also have 5sos ot4, roylum, and lashton (friendship version)

5. story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments: for all of those it’s technically my hellcheer fic, but for the 5sos ones hits and kudos are The Catch, comment threads is pas de deux! 

6. work i’m most proud of (and why): pas de deux hands down no question.  it’s my longest fic by over 20k!  i wrote it almost constantly from november to december and had a goal to post each chapter on christmas and the four sundays leading up to it and i actually accomplished that goal!!!! i’ve never successfully focused on one particular fic for that long, and it actually worked!!! plus, for such a long fic, i think i did a relatively good job of keeping characterizations consistent and sensical throughout, as well as finding little themes to carry through the entire fic (which i got lucky with tbh, some things that became running pieces of the fic were not planned out before, i just caught them as they were happening).  i haven’t read the fic back since completing it so it’s possible it’s not as cohesive or as good as i think it is, but i’m extremely proud of myself for it nonetheless.

7. work i’m least proud of (and why): right now, it’s probably when i watch the world burn.  i struggled with that one and in the end i don’t think it quite got to where i wanted it to, but i was on a time crunch.  it’s a lot different from what i usually write, but i don’t know if i made that transition to a different story style and topic as smoothly as i would have liked.

8. share or describe a favorite review you received: someone left a very long and gratifying comment on both Puzzle Pieces and its sequel Bedroom Activities back in February.  grey114 if you see this i love you.  it was really gratifying to get a comment on a piece that i love so much that was over a year old at that point, especially since they said it was a reread and they just touched on a lot of things in a really sweet way and that made me feel very happy to have written those fics.

also i know this doesn’t technically count because it got it today but amanda read when i watch the world burn (again, not my proudest work) and said that although this “isn’t her kind of fic” she said that that particular fic is the “biggest proof that it’s the writer more than the content or pairing” because she enjoyed it, which was really nice to hear especially when i’m not feeling the best about it.  it’s also just an insane compliment because i absolutely love amanda’s writing, and every time a writer i love also confirms that they really like my stuff it makes me feel good lol

9. a time when writing was really, really hard: the entire first 3/4 of the year, tbh!  i was in a big writing slump earlier in the year and it seemed to keep going forever, then I was super busy in the summer and simply didn’t have time.  i don’t think i hit my writing stride again until i let myself impulse-write for other fandoms.  i think that’s what i really started to realize exactly what it means to write what you love uninhibited, rather than writing what you think you should.  like. i have 10k of an angsty caswen at college fic in my drive that may never see the light of day because it’d be super long, but letting myself go to town on that with no expectations of necessarily posting it or even completing it was really healthy for me and extremely enjoyable, and it loosened all the writing mechanisms in my brain to get me back in a writing groove.

10. a scene or character you wrote that surprised you: hmmmmm let’s see.  honestly i was most surprised to write anything for hsmtmts or cobra kai, let alone something from johnny’s pov, but for 5sos stuff i was surprised to write so much feldy.  he became a pretty big player in pas de deux and when initially planning that fic i don’t think i realized how much screen time he would have.  ashton’s characterization in when i watch the world burn was also surprising.  i didn’t know when i started writing that he would be like that.

11. a favorite excerpt of your writing:  here’s a little bit of the ending of undeniable you

When Ashton fully wakes up, he can hear spring rain pattering against the roof.  The room is still blanketed in gray, but Michael is still glowing, even if Ashton only has a view of his bedhead from the way they’re cuddled together.  He shifts right before Ashton musters up the willpower to leave the comforting warmth of their bedroom and begin breakfast, as if he can sense that Ashton would rather spend the morning talking with him in appropriately hushed tones than leaving the cozy atmosphere that surrounds them.  His eyes are fuzzy and sleepy when he blinks up at him, but he smiles like he’s never been more sure of his place here.

12. how did you grow as a writer this year? i finally truly understood what it means to write for myself!!!! to write for the enjoyment of writing!!!! to stop holding myself to arbitrary standards of what fics i should be working on and how often!!!!!! this year i really let myself work on what i want when i want, and it really did wonders for me.  also, i discovered that for the most part outlining does genuinely help me

13. how do you hope to grow next year? mostly i want to continue to write what i want to write.  i want to maintain this peace and enjoyment of writing that i’ve found and continue to treat myself with kindness when it comes to this hobby and not let it become unpleasant.  that being said, i do also want to focus on individual projects more.  i think the key to ensuring these two things aren’t mutually exclusive is to find projects that i genuinely love and to add little bits in there for me to enjoy, like all of the minnesota references (and the csi miami reference) in pas de deux.

EDIT: I also want to start replying to comments this year! i might not reply to new comments on old fics just because i’d feel weird not replying to the comments before (and i have fics form 2016, so i feel like it’d be weird if i went back and replied to those) but i’ll at least reply to comments put on pas de deux onwards.

14. who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)? okay i’m going to list four (4!!!) different people.  bella @clumsyclifford and annie @carouselstars have both been extremely supportive, especially while i’ve been complaining in the club nearly every day for the past two months.  they’re always encouraging me.  i also need to give a big shout out to megs @igarbagecannoteven and gregory @doomeddiabetic for being great sounding boards! pas de deux would not have been completed without megs helping me sort things out in the very beginning, and gregory is willing to talk shop about fandoms they’re not even part of.

15. anything from your real life show up in your writing this year? little things here and there!  it’s most prevalent in pas de deux, where i highkey projected onto both characters and forced them to exist in minneapolis.  i have been to mia and love all of the art pieces i mentioned in chapter 3. my favorite ballet is dances at a gathering.  i, like calum, must always remind people of famous minnesotans.  shayla is my favorite newscaster.  i watch csi miami and ncis when i need something mindless on in the background.  i namedropped my old tech director and ballet teacher in that one.  pas de deux is full of little hazel pieces lol

16. any new wisdom you can share with other writers? find what pleases you!  find what you enjoy, and don’t turn writing into a chore that you have to do, but rather a special treat to enjoy!  this doesn’t mean that it’s going to be sunshine and rainbows all the time, of course.  maybe you’re the type of writer who gets immense satisfaction from finishing a difficult piece, and that far outweighs the frustration and struggles to write it!  everyone is going to be different with figuring out what constitutes enjoyment, but that’s what helped me, at least.

17. any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? i’m trying not to put too much pressure on myself but i really hope to finish three particular 5sos fics.  i think they could become my new favorites.  i also have a cobra kai fic that i’d love to write!  also, i really want to post at least one chapter of unmute, given that i didn’t do that this year

18. tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read:  @igarbagecannoteven, @carouselstars, @lifewasradical, @jbhmalumm, @lukemichaelcalumashton, @babush-cat if you’d like!

[igarbagecannoteven]

2022 Writing Evaluation

thanks so much @clumsyclifford , @allsassnoclass , & @jbhmalumm for tagging me in this! i'm gonna talk about my fics in all fandoms even tho this is my music blog bc i don't have anything separated into pseuds (i strive for chaos on my ao3 account) putting it under the cut bc i'm sure it's gonna be long lol

number of stories posted on ao3: 25! 18 in 5sos, 4 in hp, and 3 miscellaneous fandoms

word count posted for this year: 40,705

fandoms i wrote for: 5sos, hp, discworld, doctor who, & dungeons and daddies

pairings: lashton (4), cashton (3), muke (2.5) (bc they're background in one), malum (2), cake (2), mashton (1), penelope/percy (1)

story with the most kudos/bookmarks/comments: burnt eggs & broken promises has the most kudos, do you wanna touch (yeah) and permanent jet lag are tied for most bookmarks, and fear the fever has the most comments

work i’m most proud of and why: i'm proud of almost all of the work i put out this year, and there are a couple ones that immediately spring to mind, but i'm going to really come out of left field here and say Being Hannah Abbott! "but megs," you might say, "why on earth would you pick the only fic that has zero kudos? it's definitely not your best written work of the year." to which i say, true! however, i have been trying to get this fic right since 10th grade! i'm now a senior in college! "but megs it's significantly less than 1k how did it take you that long" listen! listen. sometimes. you have to wait until you're good enough to finish a fic. this has more than 5 docs of different drafts saved to my laptop. also you're forgetting the fact that i'm insane

work i’m least proud of and why: okay listen. i know it's my most kudos'd work. i know that. however i am not happy with burnt eggs and broken promises. bella left me a lovely long comment on it recently that made me rethink my feelings towards it but i still think it isn't as good as it could have been so sorry folks

share or describe a favorite review you’ve received: i love it when people tell me i made them cry it's my favorite thing in the whole world best compliment to receive imo

a time when writing was really, really hard: you're assuming i remember what i was experiencing earlier in 2022 which is where you've made your mistake slkdjflskdjf ummmm i remember have a really hard time this fall semester, especially in september/october, i just couldn't get any motivation whatsoever (which tends to be my biggest problem tbh)

a scene or character you wrote who surprised you: goood question,,, you know, i really wasn't expecting to ever write a mcu au and yet pining is a strange sort of mcu au. i originally was going to write it so one half of the pairing got lost at sea and their bf was waiting on shore not sure if they were dead or alive, but the characters did not want to be like that at all which is how i ended up with poor post-snap calum (who may be getting a happy sequel someday shhh)

a favorite excerpt of your writing: i love the transformation scene in fear the fever. i just love writing body horror for some reason and i've always had strong opinions about what i think vampires & their transformations are like physically and it was a blast to get to explore that in this fic :))

how did you grow as a writer this year? i think a lot of my growth happens slowly over time and therefore is hard to pinpoint, but i took a creative writing class in the spring on opening a novel and that helped me rethink the way i start fics now. also i learned to think more about what i want out of my fic! thinking about why i write and why i post fic really helped me realize what fic writing advice to take and what to ignore (if you're like me and the goal of a fic is to write the concept the best you can, than posts talking about how it's okay to post random, unedited snippets are not actually helpful and can actually be counter-intuitive)

how do you hope to grow next year? i really want to write more often and be more disciplined about writing. as always i want to learn how to be better in the craft aspect in general (which is a goal i expect to always have, since i'll never be perfect at it) and i'd also like to be better with subtext & symbolism & ~themes~ bc i always forget to those last two and my subtext is, in my opinion, rather lacking at the moment

who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc)? bella is the best live-in cheerleader/rubber duck a writer could ask for, and i would be royally screwed without her 💙 hazel is always an incredible virtual cheerleader/ideas bouncer and i am dearly in her debt, and meghna is wonderful for fueling my wacky ideas-mobile; i am incredibly lucky that they're just a discord dm away 🥰 also she's 100% not going to see this but my mom finished her mfa program this year and has been working on finishing her novel, and writing with her and talking shop together has been very helpful in keeping me at the keyboard and with more thematically technical details (little does she know it's for my rfp fanfic lol)

anything from real life show up in your writing this year? yep! lots! keep you safe (safe as i can), an hp fic, reflects some of my worries about my little bro growing up; Questions Involving Vampires & Skirts, while not reflective of my own gender, does reflect some of my weird gender-y fuckery; just dance (gonna be okay)'s michael shares my feelings regarding dancing in empty elevators; do you wanna touch (yeah) is inspired by me visiting a craft store with my fam and touching basically everything in the store; permanent jet lag is based off of flying international with my baby bro who is Very Tall; & glasses is based off of my truly awful eyesight and how i still feel like if i have my glasses off people can't perceive me lol (yes you heard it here first folks, megs has the object permanence of a toddler)

any new wisdom you can share with other writers? write! have fun with it! go to irl critique groups if possible! don't expect things to be perfect on the first draft, because most people's first drafts are shit and that's okay! challenge yourself! don't be afraid to embrace the cringe! it's okay to settle unless it's gonna make you miserable! eat your writing frogs! don't be afraid to ask for help! get a rubber duck!

any projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year? i really want to finish tis the damn fic. i'd love for it to be ready to post by december. i'm kneeling at my prefrontal cortex begging it to get its shit together enough to finish it. i'd also love to finally finish my another place songfic bc that will mean my writing's reached the level where i can actually figure out how to write the dang thing which is the dream

tag some writers whose answers you’d like to read: idk who all's done it/been tagged so if you've already done it just ignore me! and if you don't want to do it you can also ignore me lol but i'll tag @werewolfashton , @reveriesofawriter , @userbadomens , @calumthoodshands , @pixiegrl , @valiantnerdtm , & anyone else who wants to! (if you've been mainly writing for another fandom you can talk about that one as well/instead, all up to you!)

[sanjosenewshq]

8-12 months-Previous Saves Life Of Classmate Who Began Choking On Rooster Nugget Day

A 3rd grader has been honored as a hero by his faculty and native hearth division after springing into motion to save lots of his good friend from choking. Garrett Brown, 8, was sitting close to classmate Cashton York throughout lunch at Lakeview Elementary College in Norman, Oklahoma, on Sept. 15, music trainer Jordan Nguyen informed “Good Morning America” in an interview printed this week. “It was hen nugget day, and the children completely like it,” Nguyen mentioned. “However throughout that lunch, a trainer’s and mother or father’s worst nightmare occurred.” The trainer was throughout the cafeteria when Cashton began choking and “couldn’t breathe,” she mentioned. She rushed over as college students yelled for assist, however Garrett took issues into his personal arms within the meantime. “As a substitute of shouting, he jumped to the opposite facet of the desk, went behind Cashton, and did a few thrusts of the Heimlich maneuver, and it solely took about two thrusts, and he was capable of dislodge the meals,” she mentioned. “By the point I reached Cashton, the meals had already dislodged, and he was respiration once more.” Garrett informed native information station KOCO Information 5 that he realized the life-saving first help process from his father. “My dad taught me,” he mentioned. “I used to be choking, and he saved me and taught me to save lots of another person.” Garrett acquired a “hero award” at a college meeting the place the 2 boys hugged because the viewers clapped. Officers from the Norman hearth and police division additionally attended to rejoice Garrett’s actions. “The coed says he realized the maneuver from his father, and we applaud all the household for his or her security preparedness efforts,” the fireplace division wrote in a Fb submit. “Congratulations, Garrett, thanks in your swift and brave actions!” Originally published at San Jose News HQ

[theyorthemrecords]

imaginary toads in real gardens (I)

a/n: the soft college!cashton fic i’ve been promising the group chat, focusing mainly around their shared poetry class! also a little barista!ashton, if you squint. also linked below are the two poems mentioned by name, if you’re interested in reading them! (both are personal favorites of mine hehe)

tableau by countee cullen

the helmsman by hilda doolittle (h.d.)

word count: 1.7 k

warnings: a light sprinkling of cursing, but nothing else in this part! enjoy ~

Calum wasn’t quite sure how this morning could get any worse. It started with him oversleeping, causing a chain reaction of trying to brew his own coffee, spilling said coffee all over himself, changing his shirt because of the spilled coffee, and ending up in, quite literally, the ugliest outfit he had ever seen. To make it all worse, it was a Tuesday, meaning the class he was rushing to was poetry, which just so happened to be the one class he shared with the absolutely dreamy barista from the on-campus coffee shop, the Bee-Hive. 

Calum had been crushing on the guy, from afar, since his freshman year, and couldn’t believe his luck when he materialized in his spring semester poetry class two years later. Throughout the first few weeks of the semester, he had collected a few key pieces of information about the other boy, using it all to fuel his romantic daydreams, when his mind wandered. First, his name was Ashton, which technically Calum already knew, but it just felt so different to hear Ashton say it himself as opposed to simply reading it on his nametag. Second, Ashton was a junior, like himself, but unlike Calum, Ashton wasn’t an English major. He was a Philosophy major, making his enrollment in the class perplexing to Calum at first, but he pretty quickly understood why Ashton had picked the class. It was obvious that Ashton loved poetry, the art of crafting words into something larger, something new, from the first class discussion they had about Claude McKay. Calum liked to believe, especially since he was now an upperclassman in the English department, that he understood poetry, but it had rendered him speechless to hear Ashton discuss poetry. He just seemed to feel everything so deeply, to be able to grasp the author’s intent and purpose immediately, breaking the poem due to purest essence before Calum had even figured out the rhyme scheme.

Which all looped back to why Calum was hellbent on not only showing up to poetry class on time, but putting all his effort into the discussion they had, in order to desperately try and impress Ashton with his dazzling and insightful textual interpretations. Has it worked so far? Technically no, but he was too stubborn to stop trying and too chicken to actually just ask the other boy out. What if he said no? Then Calum could never go to the Bee-Hive again and his caffeine addiction would be limited to his shitty dorm room, french press brew. That was a horrific reality. Worse than that, what if Ashton wasn’t even gay? The question had perplexed Calum since the first day of class and he bounced back and forth on the answer every time they had class. The closest he had gotten to an answer was the day they discussed Countee Cullen and his poem “Tableau”. Ashton had talked so passionately about the poem and Cullen but managed to do so without actually saying whether or not the poem applied to him. Calum concluded that day that Ashton had to be gay, that there was no way a straight man would talk that emotionally and beautifully about one of the most stunning gay poems in existence. Still, he didn’t have a definite answer, and that was enough to scare Calum out of asking Ashton out.

Too lost in his train of thought, and the blasting volume of Jimmy Eat World currently pumping through his earbuds, Calum failed to notice the body in his way until it was too late and he slammed into whatever unfortunate bystander in the Quad, scattering the books in their hands all over the ground. 

“Holy shit” Snatching his earbuds out and bending down to gather the books that fell to the ground, Calum was amazed when the voice that answered him was none other than Ashton himself, seemingly materialized in front of him by how hard Calum had been daydreaming about the man.

“Hey man, no worries. You’re Calum right, from poetry?” He winced as soon as Ashton spoke, glancing up at him from where he was positioned on the ground, picking up Ashton’s books, which, upon inspection, were obviously from their assigned book list. Of course Ashton barely knew his name, when it seemed that all Calum could do was daydream about him. It had gotten so bad that his roommate, Michael, had taken to throwing pencils at Calum to get his attention, as most of the time he was zoned out in his own private Ashton fantasy. Standing up to hand Ashton his books, Calum gave him a small smile as they finally stood face to face.

“That’s me. Sorry for barreling into you like that, I was just -” Calum paused mid-sentence, too self-conscious to admit that he was rushing to class. Especially because he was rushing to class to see the person that now stood directly in front of him. Luckily, Ashton filled his silence with an easy laugh, a sound Calum found particular delight in.

“No worries, I definitely don’t want to be late for poetry either. Dr. M always bites people’s heads off if they’re not on time. Since we’re going the same way, wanna walk together?” Calum could feel himself gaping at him, scrambling to find something to say to Ashton’s offer. This was too good to be true.  

“Erm-” God, pull it together. Now or never Hood. “I’d love to.” For an English major, he felt like he should be able to say something a little more eloquent. Ashton just let him so speechless, it felt like every word he had ever learned simply departed the minute Ashton’s hazel eyes landed on him.

“Perfect! Lead the way” Falling in step, the two walked in silence for a beat as Calum gathered the courage to say something, anything, to keep a conversation flowing.

“You’re a Philosophy major, right? Why take an English class?” The walk was just long enough that Calum could get some answers to the questions he’d had all semester, and he decided this was the most neutral one to start with. Wouldn’t be very becoming to just launch out the gate with the good old “Are you a queer?” He at least had a little tact left. Again, he was met with one of Ashton’s laughs, a sound Calum quickly found himself becoming addicted to. I’m in too deep.

“You got me there. In all honesty? I’m not too sure why. I just had extra space in my semester and… I don’t know. The class just kinda grabbed me. If that makes any fucking sense.” Calum was nodding along, trying hard not to look like he was hanging off of Ashton’s every word. Fuck their poetry class, this man was a poem himself. Just grabbed by a poetry class. Could he get any dreamier?

“No, I totally get you. You picked a good one. Dr. M may be a hardass, but she’s one of the best professors in the department.” This was Calum’s fifth class with the woman and he was still shocked by how hard she made all of her exams. Still, she pushed him in a way that was unlike any other teacher he had ever had. He was happy to know her and even more grateful to have her knowledge in his life, both as a professor and his advisor. 

“Shocking to hear you say that. She eats up everything you say. On the other hand, I feel like a dumbass every time I make a comment.” Accompanied by a bashful smile and shake of his head, Ashton glanced away for a second. Calum was, once again, stunned into silence, this time for a totally different reason.

“You? Are you kidding me? Everything you say in class is amazing, you’re so insightful. I wish I could read poetry like you do… everything you say is so stunning and you just… get it. You’re great in class Ashton.” Finishing his ramble, it was Calum’s turn to be embarrassed. I can not believe I just said all of that to him. He’s going to think I’m insane, that was a crazy thing to ramble at my crush. Is it too early to consider transferring? 

“Really?” Every single bad thought Calum was having about himself halted when he looked over at Ashton when he spoke. Ashton was staring at him, with so much hope welling up in his eyes it was disarming. Calum’s mum had always said that the eyes were the windows to the soul, and it seemed like Ashton’s windows were flung open, displaying every emotion plainly to him. A warm summer day, gorgeous and breezy and open. “You think so?”

“I know so. And Dr. M loves you, she just has a funny way of showing it.” Calum bumped Ashton’s shoulder, half to break the trance they were in and half to remind him to start walking again. “She will, however, love us less if we show up late to this class. C’mon.”

It was silent again as the two walked side by side, but unlike before, the silence felt comfortable. Breathable. Like a shared understanding. It remained that way as they walked into the English wing of the Main Hall, finally reaching their classroom right on time. The class was small enough that there were always open seats, but everyone had settled into their unofficial assigned seats back during syllabus week. Ashton always sat closest to the door, while Calum sat across the room, right in front of the big window that faced the park on the front of campus. Ideal for gazing out of the window when he wanted to zone out and for sneaking glances at Ashton whenever he spoke. The best of both worlds. However, as they entered class today, Ashton followed him to the window and snuck into the seat on Calum’s left. When Calum stared at him in shock for half a second, still standing, Ashton laughed his adorable laugh again with another shake of his head.

“Figured it was time for a change of scenery, yea? Now sit down so we can talk about Hilda Doolittle. I’ve been dying all weekend to hear what Dr. M has to say about The Helmsman.” It’s official, Calum thought as he sat in his seat and pulled out his own book, I’m in love with this man.

[yeoobiii]

Left Behind | Calum Hood

Pairing: College!Calum x College!Reader

Summary: As you got lost in the crowd of concert, you bump into a boy, you’re kinda familar with and from there on you are kind of forced to spend the rest of the evening with him and his friends.

Word cound: 3.9k

Warnings: drinking and that’s about it, ig

a/n: I had this in my drafts for a while now and felt like finishing it. It’s my first 5sos related imagine. It’s a little bit cheesy and turned out fluffy. Remember, feedback and criticism is highly appreciated. Enjoy!

The music was blasting through the speakers, flashing a wave of energy through your body you didn’t even know you had left in you anymore. You were standing for about four hours now and usually you’d be totally exhausted by now but the adrenaline that was currently streaming through your body made you forget about your tired legs.

As the next hook was about to drop the people around you opened a big hole in the crowd and everyone was ready to jump in. You weren't usually the type to join mosh pits because they always got so chaotic and sometimes you were seriously worried about getting hurt. But right now, at the moment, you didn’t care. You took a glance to your left to find your two best friends nodding at you, signalizing you that they were about to join the chaos as well. You smiled one more time to yourself, enjoying yourself before the beat dropped and every one jumped into that mosh pit, including you.

It was over faster than you would have thought. At that moment, you were completely carefree and the music owned your body. You were jumping, screaming and dancing, like every body around you. At some point someone stepped on your foot and it stung for a second, but you got over it fast as the act that was currently putting on a live show, started to rap their second verse of the song. The crowd calmed down a little and most people were facing the stage again.

You turned around to check if your friends were alright. But as you turned, you couldn’t make out one of the two familiar faces that belonged to your best friends. You started to look around, starting to ignore the loud bass, the cheering crowd and the flickering lights around you, as worry started to build inside of you. You couldn’t see them anywhere. You got your phone out to check if they already texted you but you had no new messages. You tried to call them with little hope and also no success. You lost your friends.

You thought about leaving the hall and just wait until the concert is over to meet with them outside afterwards, since you knew you couldn’t enjoy the concert anymore anyways. Not like this. You turned around to leave, as you bumped into someone.

You quickly apologized and moved past them, until, you heard them calling your name.

“Y/N?” they shouted after you. You knew that voice so, you turned around again.

“Calum?” you guessed making your way over to the familiar stature of the young man.

As you got closer you could make out his features and it really was Calum, standing there in front of you.

“It really is you! What are you doing here?” he smiled, taking you in for a short hug.

This took you by surprise. You didn’t know Calum too well. You weren’t even sure if you’d consider him your friend. But it also seemed like he was pretty hammered. But you had to chuckle at his question. What were you probably doing at a concert?

Calum was one of your classmates. And that was about it. At least that’s what you think, how he’d explain the relationship between you two. On your side, the thing was a little bit more complicated. It all started out about one and half years ago, since you started collage. You figured out fast that you had almost all your classes with the curly haired boy. At the beginning, he was just one of the guys you went to school with. Nothing more, nothing less. But over these one and a half years, you developed a crush on him. And you hated yourself for it.

You mostly knew him from little group projects you had to do in class. Either only the two of you or in a bigger group, but you started to notice, that you liked spending time with him. Even if it was only for school related stuff. The two of you even started to talk more once during these one and a half years but that died down quickly with him telling you how he was about to hit up another girl. He didn’t hurt you with stuff like that, it was just a bit frustrating sometimes.

You were likely to not tell your crushes about the feelings or liking you held towards them. For some reason you were always just too scared of rejections and you always thought it would probably be really awkward between the two of you if you’d have ever told him. You also didn’t want for him to have this kind of power over you. You imagined plenty of times the pity full look he’d have on his face, while telling you that you were sweet, but he didn’t return your feelings. And the thought about that always managed to send a cold shiver down your spine and it maybe still kind of hurt you in some way. Even tough you would never admit that to yourself.

So, you managed to live with the fact that he was just a silly crush you had and that you’d get over it at some point, which leaded you to the situation you were currently in. Still, not over him and him treating you like one of his mates. And the thing that all of his three mates from school were kind of your friends as well didn’t help at all. Sometimes you even did hang out together. You liked his friends and you always wondered why your relationship with him can’t be as uncomplicated as the friendships with the rest of his gang was. If you’re with them, you always get a laugh out of each other. It also wasn’t that bad if you were with him and his friends because they kind of distracted you from his cute curls, muscular arms and contagious laugh, which you loved to hear. You also loved when his lips where formed into a smile that took over his whole face.

And now you were standing there, worried about your friends, a little bit drunk, bumping into that one person you didn’t really expect to bump into. Plus, you didn’t really have the nerves right now to deal with the mess you called your feelings.

“What do you think I’m doing here? Same as you, dummy.” you replied, trying to put a smile on your face and ignoring the anxious feeling that were currently creeping up.

“Oh, yeah, that makes sense.” he smiled, biting his lip and looking down at you.

“Yeah. But, ehm” your voice sounded more concerned this time as you tried to form your sentence, “You didn’t per chance saw my friends around?”

You turned on your phone as you wanted to show him a picture of them as you realized his head was already turned to the front again, not listening to anything you just said. As it wasn’t hard enough to communicate in all that screaming that was going on, anyways.

“Calum!” you called for his attention.

He turned to you, a drunken smile on his face. You showed him the picture of you and your friends.

“Have you seen them?” you shouted over the crowd that was currently going wild.

“Them? No, sorry. But she’s hot!” he grinned, pointing at your phone.

Well, that didn’t really help, but thanks for your input, Calum. You rolled your eyes at him. It wasn’t like you were already in a shitty situation.

“I’m gonna leave. Have fun.” you screamed over the music.

As you were about to turn your back at the tall boy, he called out for you again.

“Y/N, wait!”

He called you again so, you turned around again.

“You really wanna miss the rest of the concert?” he asked like he’d genuinely care, “We can still go and search for your friends after and you can stay with us if you want”.

His offer took you by surprise, the second time this evening. But the suggestion was really tempting, since you really liked the act that was currently playing and you were excited for this concert for about half a year now. So, you decided to quickly text your friends, that they don’t need to worry about you and that you found someone you knew and could stay with for the rest of the concert. You said you were sorry and that you could meet outside after. Putting your phone back in your pocket you turned back to Calum, who was loudly singing along, knowing all the lyrics.

“You know what, yeah, why not.” you smiled up at him, receiving a smile from him as well which made you a little bit week in your knees, but as usual, you ignored it.

As the evening was going on, you caught yourself enjoying yourself more and more. Calum had also friends with him. The only one you knew was a boy called Ashton. You had also some classes with him, and he was one of Calum's closest friends, as far as you knew. But there was another guy you have never seen before. He introduced himself as Dylan. At some point you even found yourself grounding your body against his, not spending one single though on Calum.

The main thing why you keep hiding your feelings for Calum, was because if he rejected you, you still had to face him every day and with that you’d be reminded of the embarrassment. But like this, with a guy you’d probably never see again or only if you wanted, it was easy.

Even though you had fun with him, you knew what he was after. You didn’t really have much experience on the dating front, but you weren’t blind. And it actually felt really good to be admired by someone. It gave you the feeling on having power, which was quite the opposite of how you felt almost everyday around your long-time-crush, namely insecure. So, you enjoyed every second of it.

As the concert was over, you almost forgot about your friends. But as soon as you were outside, you heard your phone ring. Just then you saw that you had twelve missed calls.

“Shit.” you mumbled to yourself, picking up your phone.

“Y/N? Where the hell were you?” your one friend was asking you, worry clear audible in her voice.

“I met some friends form school, I texted you guys.” you tried to explain.

Within the conversation with your friends, Dylan asked you for your tag to go and get your jacket for you. While your friend was telling you something, you searched for your tag, found it and handed it to Dylan, mumbling a quiet, “thank you”.

“Did you hear anything of what I just said?” your friend hissed at you.

“I’m sorry what did you say?” with your free hand you held your other ear closed, since it was still kinda crowded and with that comes the noise around you.

“We are already on our way home, Y/N.” sighed your friend.

“What? You did leave without me?” you started to ramble. Worry was building inside of you for the second time this evening on the thought of how to get home all by yourself. It was a good one and a half hour car ride until you were back home.

“Melissa got sick, she threw up on the toilets and I don’t think it’s because of the alcohol. I decided to bring her home, I tried to call you but you weren’t picking up.” she started to explain, you could hear out of the way her voice sounded, that she was sorry, “I even searched for you in the crowd for fifteen minutes but couldn’t find you anywhere and Melissa could barely stand, I had to do something.”

“So, you decided to leave without me?!” you hissed at her, genuinely pissed that your friends left you behind like this.

“What should I have done, huh. Tell me. Should I have let her practically die outside and come back to party with you?” she said sarcastically.

“No, of course not.” you rubbed your forehead, trying to figure out on how to get home yourself.

“Also, where is the problem, why can’t you go home with your friends form school?”

“It’s not that easy, V.” you tried to explain but couldn’t find any words on how to.

No one knew about your crush on Calum, since telling someone would make it become real. Without anyone knowing you could still tell yourself that your feelings not there or that they will go away in a magical way at some point.

“Well, it has to be that easy, Y/N. Except you wanna go home all by yourself.”

“Yeah, I know.”

As you took a look in the direction the boys left to get their and also your jacket you saw them walking towards you.

“I gotta go, V.” you cut her off, “Call me if your home safe, alright. Oh and you owe me.”

“Sure, same goes for you” she hung up, leaving you alone with Calum, Ashton and Dylan.

Last named just handed you your jacket, “There you go.”

“Thank you.” you smiled at him.

“Yo, Y/N” Calum begun, pulling your attention at him, “Where are your friends?”

All the boys were looking at you, waiting for an answer.

“Well, they already left.” you admitted to them, “is there a chance that the three of you have an empty seat in your car for someone like me.”

“I’m sure we can squeeze you in there, Y/N.”, Ashton chuckles as he put an arm around your shoulder.

“Thank you guys so much, really”, you thanked them, relieve washing over you, but you were still a little on edge because of the two men that were walking behind you and Ashton, “You really are my saviors.”

Next thing you knew, you were 60 dollars poorer and walking through a shabby train compartment looking for an opportunity to sit. Your legs were tired as hell. You finally got to feel that, since there is no adrenaline left in your body.

As you found a part in the train where the four of you could sit together, Ashton claimed it really fast as theirs.

“Didn’t I say we could squeeze you in?”, he grinned. A grin you’d like to punch out of his stupid face.

You didn’t even mind traveling by train. It was just that you were really exhausted. Plus, the short walk through the cold and fresh, night spring air, managed to get you sober again. So, now you were trapped in that train, with your dumb crush, a guy that still hope to get you laid tonight and an Ashton that didn’t seem to shut up and the saddest thing, you weren’t even drunk anymore.

The train wasn’t even running for ten minutes until you fell asleep leaning against the train window.

“Yo, this girl is fire and I’m so gonna get it tonight, guys”, Dylan cheered.

But he seemed to be the only one to find it funny how he was messing with a girl that couldn’t defend herself at the moment, because she was fast asleep.

Ashton only commented with, “If you say so.” And he was quick on looking back at his phone. And Calum, he was sending a death glare Dylan’s way. He hated how he talked about you and the fact that you couldn’t defend yourself, made him feel like he had to.

Calum didn’t really like the game that Dylan and you were playing the whole evening, anyways. As he spotted you on the dance floor in the middle of the crowd earlier this evening, he had to smile to himself. For some odd reason, it filled him with joy, watching you having a good time. But as soon as he spotted Dylan behind you, his smile was fast to be replaced with a frown. That should be him, dancing and laughing with you, he thought. But he probably must have messed up at some point of the evening. Why would you prefer to dance with stranger than with your friend Ashton or more specific him?

“Man, I need to take a piss.” Dylan suddenly said out of the blue, making Ashton getting up and joining him.

As Ashton already left to get in another compartment where the toilet was, Calum held Dylan back by his arm.

“Stop it, man.” he warned, glancing at him to make clear what he’s talking about.

“Why? You like her?” Dylan raised his eyebrows in amusement.

“N- No. It’s just… she has a boyfriend, man” he lied.

“Alright, man”, Dylan put his hands up in defense and left for the toilets.

Shortly after Dylan disappeared, following after Ashton.

“Why did you tell him I have a boyfriend?”, you suddenly spoke up.

Calum jumped at your words, since he expected you to be asleep. Suddenly he found himself in a position where he had to explain himself.

“Dylan just isn’t one of the nice guys” he explained quietly with his head down, not looking at you.

You didn’t know where you got the sudden push of confidence as you placed your head on his shoulder and tried to get some more sleep since you had another 30 minutes in the train ahead of you. Also, you weren’t really to keen on having a conversation with Dylan at this point.

Calum’s heart skipped a beat at your sudden move. But at the same time, it feels so natural for you to be close to him and sleeping peacefully. Its kind of calmed Calum down at the same time as it brought, for him, confusing feelings about you up, which he tried to push down for the whole evening now.

“Boyfriend, huh”, Calum heard Dylan say as he spotted you asleep on his shoulders.

As you were at the end station and you had to get out, Calum tried to wake you up softly. He gently shook you at your shoulders.

“We’re here, Y/N. Time to get out” he whispered softly.

As you opened your eyes and looked up at him you had to quickly orientate yourself. As it all came crushing down to you, you took your head off Calum’s shoulder, leaving him instantly missing it. You didn’t know why you got so close to him, but it confused you beyond believe. Why didn’t he reject you as you put your head on his shoulder?

As Dylan, Ashton and actually also Calum were meant to say their goodbyes, because you had another twenty-minute train ride ahead of you until you were home, but the rest of the boys were living in the city, you hugged Dylan and Ashton wishing them a good night. As you were supposed to say bye to Calum, you didn’t know what to do. Hug him? Shake his hand? Wave at him? You heard Calum speak up.

“I’m gonna come with you.”

“What?” your mind took a few seconds to process what he had just told you, “No, Calum, you really don’t have to. I’ll be fine, I swear.” You assured him, since bringing you home would take him another hour to get home himself.

“But I want to.” he admitted, glancing at you with a soft smile covering his lips. His looks made you go week in your knees.

“We’ll leave you to it, lovebirds. Goodnight.” Dylan and Ashton said their goodbyes one last time, turning on their heels and walking into the opposite direction of where you were standing.

“Why?” you asked, your voice almost inaudible.

“Because.” was the only explanation you were getting out of him.

You decided to not further protest and just let him bring you home. For whatever reason he was doing it.

Your second train ride was manly quiet and filled with silence. It wasn’t an uncomfortable silence, thought, like you had expected it to be. You didn’t know what it was but something changed between the two of you. As you were looking out of the window, making out the few little lights of people’s houses, where they were still awake, probably watching TV and watching the sky, where you could make out a few little stars, since it was cloudy that evening, you could feel Calum's glare at you. It practically burned itself into your skin. It felt like if he would dare to look away from your slightly blushed cheeks, curvy eyelashes and at the way your nose was shaped, he’d die in an instant.

From time to time you send him a glance yourself, allowing your eyes to meet. You couldn’t hold the glare long, though, the butterflies in your stomach getting the best of you. You didn’t know why, but you didn’t feel insecure around you anymore. You felt safe.

As you got out of the train, Calum insisted on walking you home as well. Even though you though it was too much, since he must be tired himself, he didn’t accept a no.

“You enjoyed the concert?” he suddenly asked out of the blue, his eyes meeting the concrete walkway underneath him. It almost felt as he was getting all shy on you all of a sudden.

“Yeah, except that I lost my friends, and they also went home without me, it was great!” you stated, making your voice sound sarcastic.

“Wasn’t that bad after all in my opinion.” Calum commented, sounding sincere.

“No. No, it wasn’t.” you admitted. A small smile was forming on your face at the thought of how your evening went down since you lost your friends. It was definitely something you were expecting form yourself but it was fun. You told yourself to do stuff like that more often, without the part of losing your friends.

As you were standing in front of your door, the mood was tense. You didn’t know how to thank Calum properly for accompany you this far.

“I had fun tonight, Y/N.”, Calum admitted, breaking the silence.

“Yeah, me too.”

Last thing you knew after a few long seconds of silence, was Calum starring at your lips before his were directly connected with yours. It wasn’t like you weren’t already surprised enough about how this evening turned out, this action tops it all.

As you were over the first shock, you kissed him back. It was an innocent but still a pure kiss. And you didn’t want it to end. All the weeks, even moths of admiring this boy from the far and now he was kissing you. At that moment nothing seemed important, except for the two of you standing there. The thought of Dylan vanished your mind a long time ago and was replaced with Calum and Calum only.

As the two of you broke apart, Calum was the first one to say something.

“Tell me, Y/N. Why are we doing this only now?”

You pressed your forehead against his, smiling. At this moment you felt nothing but happiness. It was a feeling you haven’t witnessed this strong in quite a while.

“I don’t think you have a train back to the city until five in the morning.” you informed him, slightly giggling, “Wanna stay over?”

“I’d appreciate that.”

You opened your front door, stepping inside.

“You’re sleeping on the floor, though.”

[calumsash]

hello and welcome! first of all, im gonna start by saying i know the amount of followers is not the most important thing at the end of the day, but it is very nice every once in a while to hit those types of milestones!

so thank you to everyone who decided my blog is entertaining enough for them to hit that follow button and stuck around <3

as for the celebration! please feel free to send me moodboard ideas! if it's a 5sos member/ship + an aesthetic/a color/a song. if it's some type of an au you got and i'll try my best to capture your vision! or even just sending me a pic and i'll work around the vibes of that! moodboards all around for everyone <3

if you want me to make a fic moodboard for an existing fic (if it's yours or someone else's) feel free to ask! but please link me to the fic + make some bullet points of at least 6/7 stuff that happen in the fic that you think should be included + the era the boys were described as (like youngblood era cashton: ice cream date, roommates/college au, handholding, saying i love you, calum got a cat, set in winter) cause there's probably a chance i have not read them so this will set a really helping guideline for me to work with! also please check my fic moodboard tag so there won't be any doubles!

hopefully i get to make everything that is requested even if it takes me a while!

again, thank you so much to everyone who followed me and i hope your tumblr experience continues to be fun <3

[cjblthoughts]

Imma still be annoying about it lmao, chapters 1-4 of my 5sos ot4 soulmates au is up on ao3 <3 <3 <3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17253794/chapters/40723655

[clumsyclifford]

what about a friendship fic with the prompt "i don't know if i can do this" with whatever pairing you want? 🦥

hello sloth anon !! pairing bot said cashton for this okay it said cake first but i had already done cake so here you are!! some endearing cashton friendship

read here on ao3

-

Frankly, hosting an open mic in the Student Theatre is a little presumptuous, if Calum’s honest. He’s never seen more than twenty people attend an open mic. Surely they don’t need this many seats. The mics and stage are nice, but definitely overkill.

Also, Calum is pretty sure they’re making Ashton nervous.

“This was a terrible idea. How did I let you talk me into this? I’m supposed to play in front of all these people? With a microphone?”

Okay, they’re definitely making Ashton nervous.

“It’s the same number of people as always,” Calum lies. Looking around, it’s definitely more. People are in clusters of three or four, scattered around the seats; Calum counts twenty without even trying.

“I don’t know if I can do this,” Ashton says, like he hasn’t heard Calum. “Let’s sit in the back, come on.”

“No, don’t be stupid,” Calum says, grabbing Ashton’s arm and pulling them further down the aisle. “You wanna do that walk of shame to get up to the stage?”

“I don’t want to do it at all! I’m not playing.”

“Shut up,” Calum says. “You’re playing. You’re already signed up, and you’re gonna do great.”

“I’ll get shaky hands and I’ll fuck up every chord,” Ashton insists. “It’ll be a humiliating disaster and I’ll never be able to show my face in public again.”

“Uh-huh.”

“You don’t even care.”

“That’s right,” Calum says, sliding into the fourth row. Ashton groans and takes the seat beside him. “I don’t.”

“Some friend you are,” Ashton grumbles.

Calum sighs and turns towards him. “Ashton Irwin. You’re gonna kick ass. And even if you make a couple mistakes, it won’t matter, because there’s no fuckin’ way you’re gonna be the worst performer at a college open mic.”

Ashton cracks a wry smile. “You should get a job in the pep talk business.”

“I know, I’m very good at them.”

“Yeah, masterful.” Ashton slouches down in his seat. “Maybe if they don’t see me here they won’t call my name.”

Calum shakes his head and laughs. “You’re not getting out of this.”

“Don’t you dare sell me out.”

“Who, me?” Calum pulls an innocent face. It only serves to deepen Ashton’s frown.

“You suck.”

“Alright.”

Friendly conversations mingle into a considerable buzz around them. Calum pulls out his phone to text Michael.

calum: we’re in the front when you get here

michael: literally walking in the door

Calum turns around, and Michael waves as he enters. Behind him, Luke waves too. “Hey, Luke’s here!” Calum tells Ashton, who seems to be attempting to merge with the floor.

Ashton sighs dramatically. “Great. More people to watch me fail.”

Calum rolls his eyes as Michael and Luke approach. “Hi,” he says. “Hey, Luke! I didn’t know you were coming.”

“I dragged him,” Michael shares. Luke shrugs like he doesn’t care. Glancing down at Ashton, Michael adds, “What’s with him?”

“He’s convinced he’s going to do terribly and publicly humiliate himself,” Calum says, rolling his eyes again for good measure.

“No, you’ll be great,” Michael says brightly. “Calum’s always saying how you’re the most talented person in his music whatever class.”

“Calum’s stupid and wrong,” floats Ashton’s voice from somewhere underneath the seat.

Michael and Luke take the two seats behind them. “Well, that’s true about most things,” Michael agrees. “But he has pretty good taste in music.”

“You’ll be fine,” Luke says good-naturedly. It’s nice of him to chime in when he doesn’t really know Ashton. Calum appreciates the support.

Ashton huffs and scrambles half-upright. Before he has the chance to counter, someone is talking into the microphone.

“Hi everyone,” says the speaker, cheerfully. “Hello! Thank you all so much for coming! I reckon this is the most people we’ve ever had at an open mic, so thank you all for the support, it means the world to us, really. My name is Louis, I’m president of the Concerts Club on campus. We put on an open mic every month and this is the first one of the semester, so again, thanks everyone for coming out, and especially thanks to everyone who signed up to perform! You’re all brilliant. We love you.”

“We love you,” a guy in the front row pipes up. “I personally love you. Every one of you.”

“Niall loves you,” Louis says solemnly into the mic. A quiet laugh arises from the audience. Calum chuckles. Ashton does not. “So before we start, just to let everyone know if you’re interested in joining the Concerts Club or hearing about the events we put on, there’s a sign-up sheet at the back of the room where you can put your email, and then you’ll get all our beautiful advertisements designed by our lovely Hazza straight to your inbox. That’s all! Right, so without further ado, let’s get started! First up?”

He looks to Niall, who apparently has the information, and a moment later announces: “Zayn, our very own treasurer! We love Zayn, let’s hear it for Zayn.”

Earsplitting applause. Clearly everyone loves Zayn. Calum doesn’t know who Zayn is, but apparently he’s a fan favorite.

Ashton groans. “I’m going to be sick,” he mutters.

Calum hits his shoulder gently. “Sit up, you twat.”

Grumbling, Ashton obliges.

Once Zayn starts singing — a cover of an old R&B song Calum doesn’t recognize — Ashton’s attitude seems to improve. This only really means that his self-deprecating comments sound more joking than grave, but it’s something.

“Damn,” Michael says as Zayn finishes. They all clap. “I feel like when you enter heaven, that’s what you hear.”

“As if you’re going to heaven,” Calum replies.

Michael grins.

After Zayn is another person Calum doesn’t know — a junior named Shawn who plays an original song on an acoustic guitar and deals serious damage to Ashton’s confidence. Then it’s someone called Tay, then some kid called Mitchy who’s completely awful, and then a kid who gets introduced as full name Brian Logan Dales and swaggers onstage like he owns the place. Finally, just as Calum is wondering when they’ll get to him:

“Ashton Irwin!” Louis announces, and Calum would be lying if he said his heart didn’t skip a beat.

Ashton screws up his face into a grimace. For a second Calum really wonders if he's going to back out. After an excruciating moment, Ashton stands up, takes his guitar, and heads for the stage. He shoots Calum a nervous look; Calum smiles reassuringly and nods.

“Uh, hi everyone,” Ashton says into the mic. “I’m Ashton.”

“WHOO!” Calum whoops. “YEAH YOU ARE!”

A real smile breaks Ashton’s drawn face. “Yeah, I am,” he agrees wryly. “And I…have never done an open mic before and I’ve also never played this song in front of people before, so…don’t…judge me. Please.”

“THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND!”

Michael snorts a laugh. Ashton clears his throat and ignores Calum. “Yeah, and it’s called ‘Drive’. Oh, and I wrote it. It’s— yeah. So…okay. Here goes.”

“GET IT!” Calum catcalls. Michael fully breaks down laughing, and even Ashton breathes a chuckle. Luke looks like he’s trying to turn into a foldout chair.

Out of respect, Calum only cheers between verses, when Ashton isn’t singing and is instead making shy smiles and flitting his gaze around the room too quickly to actually make eye contact with anyone. During the second chorus, though, when he jumps up the octave, everyone cheers. One of those communal yeah!s that murmurs through a room. A hive mind appreciation for an epic musical moment.

Calum beams with pride. When he turns to grin at Michael and Luke, he sees them grinning right back. Michael is taking a video.

As the final chord rings, Ashton says, “Thank you so much." On cue, the room bursts into applause. Maybe Calum is biased, but he’s pretty sure it’s real, enthusiastic applause, not just people clapping to be polite. Several people hoot and holler. Calum is one of them.

“I LOVE YOU, ASHTON!” he calls. “WILL YOU AUTOGRAPH MY FACE?”

Michael’s laughing up a storm. “MARRY ME, ASHTON!” he shouts, in the spirit of things. Calum cackles and gives him a high-five over the shoulder.

Ashton is blushing but smiling as he treks back to his seat. “You are a fucking menace,” he says as he sits back down. “Jesus fucking Christ. I cannot take you anywhere. You’re an embarrassment to society.”

“Aw, you love it!” Calum says sweetly. He elbows Ashton. “Did I call it or what? You fucking killed! You sounded so good!”

“It could have been worse,” Ashton concedes.

“It couldn’t have been better,” Michael puts in. “That rocked.”

“You wrote that?” Luke says, acknowledging the rest of them for the first time since Calum started heckling Ashton. “‘Cause that was fucking sick, man.”

“Oh, well. Thank you.”

“See? What did I tell you. No need to worry.”

Ashton holds out his hands, fingers spread, for Calum to see. There’s a slight tremor in them. “Told you my hands would be shaky.”

“But you didn’t fuck up any of the chords, so who cares?”

“Yeah, I guess.”

Calum slaps Ashton’s knee. “Will you just admit that you kicked ass?”

“Fine, I kicked ass,” Ashton says, smiling.

“YEAH you did!”

“Oh my God, be quieter, this is not a fucking baseball game,” Ashton says, covering Calum’s mouth with his hand. “And if you lick me right now so help me God I will punch you.”

Calum blinks owlishly.

“Thank you,” Ashton says, and pulls his hand away. “Now behave.”

“Fine,” Calum huffs. The next performer — an Ashley Calum’s never heard of but has seen around campus before — starts to sing something. Whispering so as not to be rude, Calum adds, “I’m proud of you, though.”

“Thank you,” Ashton says with a small smile. He elbows Calum. “But seriously, shut up.”

“Alright, alright.”

He does shut up, because he’s only disruptive when it’s Ashton on the stage. A moment later his phone buzzes.

michael: [video]

michael: your catcalling is probs in this but i thought you would want it

Calum bites his lip and smiles as he saves the video.

[5sosfanfictioncatalogue]

100k+ Masterlist

All the hues of blue - FalseDevotion calum/ashton E, 172k

Summary: Sometimes a casual encounter can help you see everything in a different colour.

Arcadia (ao3) - paperstorm michael/luke E, 100k

Summary: Crisp, thin air. The rough scrape of blades on ice. The jumbled, unintelligible echo of male voices, ringing off the rafters and bouncing through the empty seats. The familiar smell, sweaty equipment and rubber flooring and Zamboni fluid. Luke’s taken to closing his eyes sometimes, cutting off his primary sense, and just absorbing the noise and the scent and the feel of cool air on his cheeks. That way, regardless of where he is, an arena still feels like home. Or, an AU in which Luke is a small-town hockey superstar who gets drafted to the Montreal Canadiens, Ashton is the bubbly team Captain, Calum is a defenceman with a bad habit of settling on-ice conflicts with his fists, and Michael is the NHL's first openly gay player.

Awkward (Cashton) (ao3) - Headgehog_Louis007 calum/ashton, michael/ofc T, 110k

Summary: Why must I be so awkward around people? Or right because I don't talk.

Cards Are Dealt - @ashtcnirwin (elivigar) luke/ashton E, 100k

Summary: “You wanna… date me?” he asks eventually, when the silence is starting to feel loaded. “I don’t date and even if I did, I definitely wouldn’t be interested in dating you. I’d say no offense, but… full fucking offense.”

Ashton snorts. “Don’t flatter yourself, pumpkin, I have no interest in dating you either. Actually, the thought alone is exhausting and a little nauseating.”

Clenching his jaw, Luke grinds his teeth and shakes his head. “Then what do you want from me?”

“Sex. I already said that.”

A story about wants and expectations branching out and evolving without the knowledge or consent of those they belong to.

Club of Misfits (ao3) - felixandtae luke/ashton, michael/calum T, 274k

Summary: ❝Everyone has flaws. You me, Michael and Ashton - we’re all just a club of misfits.❞

A club for those who need a friend created by two best friends.

Color of Love (ao3) - felixandtae luke/ashton N/R, 161k

Summary: ❝Sometimes my eyes show emotions I don't even realize I'm feeling.❞

Where Luke's eyes change color based on his mood, but they never turned purple until he met Ashton.

Daisy (ao3) - boomerluke luke/ashton M, 121k

Summary: The last thing Luke expects when he wakes up hungover in the bed of his latest one-night stand is to come face to face with a freaking kid. But there she is all wild curls, thumb-sucking, and nonstop questions. Luke can't get out of there fast enough.

Ashton isn't the type to have one-night stands. He's a parent, after all. It was a mistake, and it won't happen again. At least that's what he tells himself when he comes back from his shower to find the naked college kid still in his bed, arguing with Daisy.

They couldn't be more opposites. At 25, Ashton has the responsibilities of two parents, raising his daughter and trying to pretend like he has everything figured out. At 21, Luke is a self-proclaimed Grindr god who doesn't care about anyone or anything but himself. So why is the universe (with the help of Michael and Crystal) so hell-bent on seeing them together?

It must be Magic (ao3) - tigerlily_sunshine michael/calum, luke/ashton T, 120k

Summary: It’s only Calum’s words playing on repeat in his mind, “Michael’s my friend,” that keeps Michael firmly planted in place. He doesn’t quite believe them. He hasn’t really spoken to Calum since the first few months of their first year at Hogwarts when they finally realized what everybody’d been telling them all along: Slytherins can’t be friends with other houses.

(In which Michael is a friendless Slytherin who doesn’t really belong anywhere, but Calum is bound and determined to prove him otherwise.)

Jumping before the Gunshot has Gone Off (ao3) - tigerlily_sunshine michael/luke, calum/ashton, luke/louis E, 128k

Summary: (In which Michael’s hated Luke since they met, and Luke’s hated him back—except, somehow, they can’t stop having sex with one another. To make matters worse, Luke is dumb enough to go and fall in love with the man who hates him.)

Looks Like He Can Surf (ao3) - LyricalPary (hoseoky) luke/ashton E, 174k

Summary: They spend the summer before university in an old beach house. Luke meets the human embodiment of sunshine. Just like the ocean waves, sometimes people are unpredictable.

Lost Hearts (ao3) - CliffordAffliction ot4 E, 177k

Summary: Ashton, Luke, Calum and Michael live in four different worlds in high school and each one of them is in love with someone who loves someone else. This can’t possibly end well…or can it?

Purple bruises, faded scars and fresh cuts (ao3) - Unholy michael/ashton, luke/calum, luke/ashton E, 140k

Summary: a soulmate au where everyone gets their soulmate’s injuries on their own body and Michael is worried sick about his.

Scene 14 - @daydadahlias​​ (cornflowerblue (daydadahlias)) luke/ashton, michael/crystal, roy/calum, kaykay/sierra E, 128k

Summary: the one where Luke hates Ashton but has to pretend to be in love with him for five months for his acting final except for the fact that maybe he isn’t pretending anymore.

See the World Hanging Upside Down (ao3) - tigerlily_sunshine ot4 M, 117k

Summary: (In which Ashton pines after Luke, who is already in a relationship, and Luke really wants Ashton to meet Michael and Calum.)

The Bodyguard (ao3) - iCheeseYou (EHkook) luke/ashton, michael/calum M, 138k

Summary: Ashton Irwin is a hot and famous celebrity that all the people love, look up to, or despise. He's cocky, selfish, and always puts himself before others. Despite his personality, he's pretty much wanted by everyone in the world.

But when things escalate to the point that Ashton nearly gets kidnapped, his manager assigns a boy named Luke Hemmings to become Ashton's personal bodyguard, much to the star's reluctance and annoyance.

Now Luke follows Ashton wherever he goes to make sure he's safe from any danger, but Ashton is determined to get rid of his bodyguard as soon as possible.

the light in your eyes (ao3) - cashcakeplz michael/calum, michael/luke, luke/ashton N/R, 137k

Summary: Or the one where Calum is beautiful and beaten, Michael is in love with his best friend, Luke is lost, and Ashton just wants everyone to be happy.

Tidal Wave - @ashtcnirwin (elivigar) luke/ashton E, 127k

Summary: A story about figuring out how to handle the difficulties life throws at you, on your own and with the help of loved ones.

Where You Go, I’ll Follow (ao3) -  fourdrunksluts, reversecow calum/ashton, michael/luke E, 211k 

Summary: This story follows Calum, Michael, Luke, and Ashton on their journey to self-discovery. Through first loves, heartbreaks, and friendship, this is the behind the scenes of what the cameras didn’t show through the years. 

[ashtcnirwin]

i’ve never been the type of fic writer who has a bunch of fics happening at the same time. i’ve always wished i was but i’m just...not. ideas don’t drop into my head on the regular, it’s more of a montly occurrence, if that. (unless ideas i throw out but that i have no intention of ever actually writing count.) so historically speaking, i’ve mostly had maximum three ideas going around at once. but i took a look at my google drive half an hour ago and...i’ve never had this many docs for fics that i actually intend on writing, existing at the same time, side by side, and it makes me a little 👁👄👁 but ig it’s alright? i’m gonna focus on three of them for the time being but. it’s nice to know that i won’t be running out of things to write anytime soon?

a whole lot of lashton. only lashton actually, with the exception of one cashton fic, one cake fic & one muke fic. and the exchange fic maybe, who knows? maybe that’s also lashton? time will tell. well. whoops. there goes my new year’s resolution about writing more diverse pairings🤷‍♀️

i’m just gonna put a list under the cut. like, in case anyone’s curious ig? yes🧡

lashton, fake dating, chaptered, 130-140k-ish

lashton, crumbling relationship, 30k-ish one-shot

lashton, exes to lovers, 35k-ish one-shot

lashton, professional cuddler AU, 20-25k-ish one-shot

lashton, gardener ashton AU, one-shot but idk what length, maybe only 15k, maybe closer to 30k, maybe longer

lashton, college AU, chaptered, 80-90k-ish (probably)

lashton, sex toy sales person AU, 15-20k-ish one-shot

lashton, royalty AU, undecided about whether it’ll be a looooong one-shot or a chaptered work yet. maybe a two-parter. i’m estimating 60-70k in any case

cashton, waxing (that’s it, that’s the plot), 5-6k one-shot

cake, firefighter calum ft luke shouldn’t be allowed in the kitchen AU, 25-30k one-shot

muke, pizza-fic, 10-15k one-shot

summer exchange fic

[allsassnoclass]

i love this ideas ask game! can I ask about 7, 42, & 72 plz? -megs 💙

@igarbagecannoteven hi megs thanks for asking!!! let's see what we have here

7. okay 7 is a fic i've already started about the constant and terrifying threat of gun violence as teenagers in america, especially in public spaces like schools and community centers. it's based on something that happened to me. idk if i'm ever going to finish it because that seems kind of like a weird thing to write a fic about but it was cathartic to start so! we'll see i guess!

42. "Roylum fake dating au" WELL WELL WELL I WONDER WHAT THIS COULD BE. (a roylum fake dating au) (they're in college) (michael is coming to visit and ever since dating luke (or crystal, i haven't thought enough about where the other characters go) has been getting super annoying about calum finding someone) (calum decides to fake date the dude in his philosophy class) (the vast majority of the fic takes place at one party, i am determined for this to be under 10k). i'd love to write this as part of the fake dating set some day, but i feel like have to do the cake, cashton, and muke ones first

72. "Mirry fake dating" NO WAY I can't believe you landed on those two fake dating ones!!! anyway this one would have to do a lot more with fame. the idea here is that it's like. 2017 or something. harry wants to come out, but knows that if he does the fandom is automatically going to point to louis, and he doesn't want that, so he calls up michael and they fabricate a story where they were hooking up (very loosely dating? something along those lines) way back in the day and it kind of shifts into them getting a bit flirty on social media today (in 2017, the "today" of the fic) and fake dating that way while also reconnecting behind the scenes. once again i'd love to do that one as part of the fake dating set, but i feel like i should do the other three core 5sos ones first and the roylum one would definitely be easier

send me a number 1-89 and i’ll tell you about the idea it corresponds to on my 5sos idea doc!