#coming from poverty and the streets and being abused bc of it

[waitineedaname]

i find wei wuxian, jin guangyao, and xue yang really interesting as foils of each other for a lot of reasons, but a big one to me is the ways they relate to gentry society

jin guangyao is extremely aware of his vulnerable position with relation to the gentry, and he's very conscious of the hypocrisy involved in the classism he experiences. still, he tries to operate within those constraints to rise in status within the gentry -- and he eventually succeeds! he becomes chief cultivator and head of the wealthiest clan around! but he never stops being hyperaware that everything could be taken away from him in an instant, a fear that is eventually proven to be justified

xue yang reacts in the exact opposite way. instead of the constructive way jgy operates to climb the social ladder, he's purely destructive. he was abused by a member of the gentry, so he'll destroy a whole clan in revenge. he saw the injustice of how he was treated because he was poor, and he decided to burn it all to the ground in revenge

so if jgy is working within gentry society, and xue yang is working against it, wei wuxian is a third option -- completely separating himself from it. sure, he had the benefit of being adopted by a gentry clan, but we saw how well that worked out for him in the long run, and he was never allowed to forget his origins. like the other two, he's very aware of the hypocrisy of the gentry and is a direct victim of it, but instead of playing by their rules or burning it to the ground, he just. fucks off. if he'd been left alone, he could've probably stayed in the burial mounds indefinitely. he wouldn't have been happy, but that's more about missing his family than missing his status. and at the end, he has married into a gentry clan again and is begrudgingly accepted by gentry society, but he's more aware than anyone how conditional that acceptance is. his fondness for rogue cultivators and his cottagecore fantasies show that he's not really concerned with class and status, he just wants to be free and happy with the people he loves, separate from the concerns of high society

[imliterallyf7ckin9crazy]

“ℑ’𝔩𝔩 𝔤𝔢𝔱 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔶𝔢𝔱, ℑ’𝔳𝔢 𝔤𝔬𝔱 𝔱𝔬 𝔪𝔞𝔨𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔪𝔦𝔫𝔢”

Squid game season 2

In-ho x f!reader

Warnings: in ho is obsessive, stalking, poverty, cannon violence, manipulation, Stockholm syndrome, loss of sanity, reader is an absurdist, childhood abuse, obsession, sad stuff.

NOT PROOF READ OR EDITED. This will also be a THREE PART SERIES bc quite honestly I can’t write much at one time smh. Also do not take reader too seriously she crazy as hell.

Also sorry reader and in-ho barely interact this chapter bc I needed to set the scene so you know what I’m talking abt. Pls read still tho bc I think it’s cool :3 you’ll need it for part two and part three.

TLDR: this is gonna be long af. So basically the reader is previous winner like gi hun only she went kinda crazy after her first game. So she gets like mentally locked in the games so to speak and so after she wins she doesn’t pay any of her debts and actually tried to accumulate more so she can be recruited again. She gets her card and when she talks to in ho he is like “why would u do this” and she’s like “bro bc i think I understand you and shi” and he’s like “if you can win again we can talk lol” and she is like bet. Only he tries to rig it against her. But she is dead set on winning.

A/N: am I projecting? Maybe. Also this shit is LONG sorry it took so long

————

Sometimes, when you find yourself winding through random back alleys or when you lie your head to rest at night, you can still hear the screams..

You can still feel the reverberation of each gunshot fired into the innocent flesh of desperate people. The wetness of the blood that splatters your face as others die before your eyes and you can’t quite tell if the screaming your were hearing was theirs or yours.

And sometimes you can still make out all the promises that were made in the dormitory. The faint memories of the voices of friends you made. The exact sound of their voices lost to time, but the faces of their lifeless bodies remained unchanged in your mind. Some of them were at the hands of players and some of pink soldiers.

And one at your hands.

Life had been cruel to you long before being convinced to risk it all. To say your early life was messy would be an understatement. Years of falling to sleep bloody and bruised, countless hours of begging for basic needs, and endless attempts to run away and make it better. Trying anything to make you feel whole. Like nothing ever happened at all. Once you got a job your parents kicked you out and left you to fend for yourself. At first it was great, you didn’t feel like you were being suffocated anymore. Until you got fired.

The place you worked at was shut down due to the owner embezzling the money and getting caught. The business soon went down at for lack of funds. And the reality of life became clear to you once again. Over time the hope you had to escape your parents and live the life you dreamed of as a young girl was drained from your soul. Ever since then you’ve been doing this. Wandering the streets aimlessly, almost as if you had never been in your home city a day in your life. You can’t even see the faces of those around you. Every face is replaced by one of four faces… ever since then that is.

The first face is younger you, battered and bruised to all hell. You see her face on usually younger people. No matter what they’re saying or doing the expression she gives is always the same. Glosses over eyes and facial features set in a way that screams both “why would this happen to me” and “what the hell became of us”. You cant even begin to answer those questions.

The second is the face of your father. Almost every man looks like him now. Though you haven’t seen him in years, since the game he’s come back to haunt you. To remind you there’s more wrong with you than what happened in those couple days. That there’s more broken about you. His expression stays angry. Tense like he’s going to hit you. For this you almost never interact with men and if you do it always end poorly.

The third is the one drives you insane most.

There was this beautiful, kind girl you once knew. Growing up she was the only thing that made living worth it. You were picked on quite a bit at school, be it because you never really spoke or because you had to be such a goodie two shoes to stay out of trouble at home. But she always stepped in at just the right time to save you. Even though her own home situation was much less than desirable she still found time to comfort you when you were in shambles or got into trouble to defend you. You both told each other everything, both pillars in the other’s lives. But after being kicked out you were forced to lose contact, solely because you couldn’t contact her or get to her part of town. That was until you joined the games at your lowest possible time to try and get some money to keep your loaners from finding you and gutting you for profit. Guess who you saw.

The girl that meant everything to you was suddenly standing before you. Deep You both scolded each other for getting into so much debt you had to meet here. Giving each other shit, like you used to. Looking back you almost chuckle at that for the nativity you both had. You watched people die together. Sprayed and stained with so much blood you didn’t now who’s it was. She kept you alive in there, with out her keeping you calm you probably would have died or quite frankly killed yourself. Against all odds you made it to the final three together against a man who needed the money for his family. She told you it was “okay “to take his life in his sleep after the final dinner because he would have done the same if either of you if you had fallen asleep. That morals in this situation would only get you both stuffed into a gift box. And so you both took his life for the sake of yours. You can still feel your stomach dropping as he pleaded for his life while you and your friend stared down at him cruelly, begging falling on deaf ears as you tore him to shreds with dirty steak knives.

Of course after that it was final two. When the last game was revealed, squid game, you remembered only one could leave. Actually, the both of you used to play squid game in school. Even if it’s typically a “boys game”, she was great defense and you were quick enough for easy offense. Genuinely, those were one of your fondest memories. Of course you’d be pinned against each other for the last time. Though you didn’t know it, the VIPs plans were to be able to watch an animalistic death match. However, you and your friend came to an agreement. No weapons, no fist fights to the death. You both knew you couldn’t kill each other, so you decided to simply play the game for the last time. The loser would take their lives themselves, with honor. And so you did. It became your last good memory. You were laughing for the last time, giggling like you were back to being school girls beating the popular boys at their favorite game. You still roughed each other up, nearing the end you both couldn’t ignore you were fighting for the death. That one of your lives hinged on this moment.

At the end, it was you who had won. You told her that you could both just back down and go home. You tried to convince her but she was set on this being the end, regardless how much you cry. You still remember what she told you before she slit her own throat clean open with her steak knife right before you, blood mixing with the mud and rain of the arena.

She said “I can’t go back there. Not without that money. I’ve had more fun here with you than I ever did my whole life. I got to be a little girl again with you. I can’t go back. This is the way I want to go, y/n.” And gave you a smile with tears turned invisible because of the rain. But you knew she was crying. “I love you”

then she was gone. As you rushed to her side, screaming her name until your throat was raw and starting to bleed you noticed her face. This look of bliss on her face, this twisted look of satisfaction graced her features as she bled from her self inflicted wound and stained your clothes and soul forever. You see that face on almost every woman. Eyes wide in ecstasy, faint smile and whole face covered in bright red blood. How badly you wished it was you instead of her, how badly you wanted to feel the contentment in life she had in those final not. That day you decided when you died it would be like her on that day.

Lastly, the fourth one you weren’t sure if it really counted as a face. It was the black geometric mask of the man who supposedly put you there. After you won you got to speak with him on the way home. Blindfold sure, but you found a tiny sliver where you were able to make out what he looked like. It was less soulless than the pink guards you had seen. It actually looked like a face, only it was made of many shapes. No one ever has his face, but you see him everywhere, more than any of the others. He’s always in the corner of your eye, you can make out his mask in the shadows of buildings, swearing you can see him watching you through your house window at night. No matter where you are you feel him watching.

For those reasons you almost never go out during the day, preferring to slink around and waste your hard earned murder money on stupid shit or alcohol. After all, why not? It goes without saying you were never the same after the games. It became all you thought about, every waking hour became ‘how was that possible? Who was really behind it? Why would they do this?’ So many questions swirled in your mind. You had theories for each of those questions already sure, but physically no way to know for certain. That not knowing sunk so deeply into your blood and poisoned your mind you came up with a new question to silence the voices that screamed at you and the faces you saw.

‘How do I get back?’

You became obsessed with many insane schemes and ploys to get yourself back in. Countless hours poured into the optimum plan to weasel a way inside the game again and truly figure this shit out. So you went back to the basics

Question: how where the games possible? Answer: clearly it was a high budget operation, meaning the money was coming from somewhere. But I mean come on-that’s too much money for just one person not even including the cash prize! So it has to be multiple people funding the whole thing. Thats theory #1

Question: who is really behind it? Answer: Ties into previous theory. If it’s multiple people, then who? Who’s setting it up and then who’s paying? Clearly that masked man is the leader or else he wouldn’t be so reclusive… but who is he throwing these games for? He said it’s just to give people a second chance but that just can’t be true but it can’t be just for him. There has to be people watching, that’s theory #2.

Question: why would they do this? Answer: clearly it’s not just for helping the poor- that much is obvious. Now here’s the theory you have that will be impossible to prove without going back. You were thinking about the games…. Kids games and team games. Like ones you would see on tv. Then you remembered how many cameras were everywhere. LITERALLY everywhere. Could just be security but it feels like more. Then the amount of cash and not everyone has that much money. What if there was a couple people paying to watch? Honestly you couldn’t tell if you were onto something or on something but you couldn’t shake the feeling that you were being watched by something bigger. Theory #3

And lastly and the most important question.

“How are you getting back?”

Why did they pick everyone? Because you had crazy amounts of debt. How did they get you there? Played games in train stations, then got picked up in a car and gassed out.

After months of speculation and planing this was what you could come up with. You had already paid off all of your debt and had so much left over money. You started spending recklessly, at one point just handing out money. People looked at you crazy but you didn’t even know it. You were in your own world let alone had the courage to look at their faces…

You began taking out extremely large loans with no intentions of paying anything. You were going out of your way to accumulate as much debt as possible. Consciously double crossing dangerous people. You kinda hoped sometimes that all these people would be able to find you and put you out of your misery but you were just too good at playing life threatening games. As the year went on you continued to pour so much money into the drain in hopes to be put back on the list for the games. Until that fated time of year came, when you remember being kidnapped.

You eventually realized no matter what you did you’d probably never run out of cash. One very late night after a particularly rough day you decided to gather all your money and dump it into your fire pit and set it all on fire. The tears running down your face contrasting with the wide smile on your face. It was a very bittersweet feeling to watch all the money you killed and almost died for burn in front of your eyes. The money 455 people fought and were slaughtered like animals for being reduced to ashes. But it also felt so good to lose it all and return to at least one about your old life. The time of recruitment was drawing near. You kept wasting money and hiding for your life until you gained even more debt than you had the first time. Honestly you were kind of impressed with yourself- think about it! You were able to accrue more debt in one year than you did your whole life up to this point.

It did briefly cross your mind that if this doesn’t work you literally burned all your money and multiple gangs and organizations wanting to harvest your organs for a quick paycheck. If you don’t get back in this year the chances of you trying again next year before one of many catch and kill you are extremely low. Oddly enough you didn’t mind living on the edge anymore, living within an inch of losing your life daily became so normal to you it almost felt fun. You started to see the world much differently the closer it came to hunt for that elusive recruiter. You think you’re starting understand the whole point of the games themselves.

The more you lived the way you did the more of humanity you saw. The lows of the human experience and the ugliness that controlled the heart of every person alive. And you noticed that the grand majority of these horrors revolved around money. Now that money had lost all value to you it became silly to see all these people just like you were so desperate for just enough money to save them to come along. To be fair it gets to a point where all you can do is pray it will work itself out.

But you watched people run themselves in circles for cash. Kill and be killed for cash. Lie, cheat, betray all for money. You see that no amount of money can take away the wrongs you did for it. All it really is is paper with no actual value. That money doesn’t really mean anything, it’s all an imaginary system people made themselves. All people do to become rich means nothing but they are greedy enough to put money before life. The money means nothing, the actions mean everything.

So then what’s the point of living? If it’s all based off a make believe value system built to extort and corrupt. If everything is rendered meaningless because people put values in the wrong things. If humanity is rotten to the core and unable to see what really matters then what the fuck is the reason to exist?

There is none. Isn’t that beautiful? All that you strive to do in life will not matter once you die. At death a successful man is as poor as a homeless man. In 100 years whatever you did in your small, insignificant life will be forgotten. There’s no point!! You could go and burn all your money, kill someone, lie and cheat and you’d STILL be on the same level as the richest person in the world. That revelation changed your whole view of the world and yourself.

Then the same day came again. The same exact day a year ago when you were suddenly approached by a man with a suitcase full of money and two pieces of paper. You went to the same train station at around the same time as you did before. Your mind was completely fogged with anticipation as your heart raced. You could barely walk straight or hear anything. You had to actually look at people to see if you could see that man, and every face was one you always tried to run from.

You breathed heavily and tears started to prick your eyes as they darted from person to person. You, your dad, your friend. You, your dad, your friend. They were everywhere. You felt as though you were going faint or throw up or both? You knew the people in the station had to be judging you even if you couldn’t quite see them. You felt like a fish In the ocean wandering without a reason. Eventually after you didn’t even know how long you chose to sit down on a bench and you just started to cry into your hands. You heard people mumble about if they should help you or not. Unsurprisingly no one did.

This wasn’t working and you were so fucked. But even as you cried you still believed this suffering was just a drop in the bucket. It didn’t really matter. Not anymore

Just as you were about to call it quits and go back home and hide until you couldn’t anymore you heard a voice so familiar it sent a shock through your whole body. Your head snapped up and a gasp was ripped from your throat

“Ms.(last name). I hoped we’d never have to meet here again”

Your eyes widened as you saw his face. It was the same man who came to you a year ago. You could actually see his face, the first real face you’ve seen on a person since you’ve gotten back since the game. All you could do is look up at him from your spot on the bench with wide delusional looking eyes.

“May I sit here?” He asks politely, to which you responded with a fast nod. He looked at you with this look of… pity? You figured you must look pretty pathetic nowadays. You have maybe 3 outfits total and you really haven’t been eating well. He smiled. before speaking again.

“Your debt has increased since the last time we met, but you knew that correct?” He asks. You nod again. You planned everything but what to say. “Why haven’t you payed it off?”

“Well I uh… kinda did? Most of it now is all new” you said with a shaky voice. He raised his eyebrows and chuckled a bit, finding it at least amusing. You knew it was an impressive feat. “I also set all my money on fire maybe a month or two ago? I’m actually not sure when…” you trailed off, trying to pinpoint the time when it dawned on you that you actually have had no true concept of time. You just know it’s been a year since you returned home. You can only really remember events but the time not so much.

“Ah, grown bored have we?” He mused. You knew that wasn’t quite it but seeing as you didn’t really know what’s made you do everything you have so far, only you knew you had to do it. You gave him another nod. He kept the same customer service type smile as he reached over and opened his case. It was set just as you remembered with the money and the ddakji. You sighed a bit before speaking “do I have to play again? I already know what happens and I don’t really want to be hit right now” you said, not really thinking. You didn’t know if you were in a place to be making requests but here you are.

You got another laugh from him, you didn’t know you were just so passively comical. “You dont have to, no. But maybe it will bring you back to your senses and you’ll live life how you were supposed to”

You couldn’t help but roll your eyes. ‘Live life like I was supposed to’. Is there any way someone is supposed to live? You didn’t think that way. You weren’t supposed to live any type of way, you should have died in that arena and-

“Are you sure this is what you want to do. What are you trying to gain?” His voice sounded pressed now, clearly trying to guide you into walking away. But if that was going to work you would have kept your money and moved far far away. You didn’t like being talked to like you didn’t know what’s made you were doing. You knew better than anyone you had lost your mind. You knew the things you were thinking, feeling, and thinking were most likely wrong. But you had no other option. No treatment for whatever illness is controlling your life.

“Im not trying to gain anything. I lost what I lost and I want it to stay gone…Please, just give me the card” your eyes were looking dead into his, voice wobbly with both terror and excitement. You held your hand out and you couldn’t even tell it was shaking. You couldn’t tell anything from anything. He lightly shook his head before reaching into his suits breast pocket and pulls out a brown business card. Upon seeing it you almost felt as if you were going to throw up right there. Your throat itched to scream and your legs twitched as if you were about to run away.

However when he placed the card into your hand all you did was close your fingers around it. Whole body shaking as you thanked him for the opportunity, just as you did when he gave it to you the first time. You both stood up and got ready to part ways for the second time. Right as you were about to bow your head he stopped you.

“Don’t become too full of yourself. Just because you won before means nothing the second time. I’ve seen many winners over the years, you will be no different than the other pieces of trash when you die in there. Is that really what you want?”

You opened your mouth to retaliate when he lifted his hand to stop you. “Have a great life, young miss. I hope you make the right decision” he says with his signature smirk and bow he walked in the direction opposite of the way you had to go. Presumably off to recruit more clueless individuals down on their luck. You had to hurry home now, you’d been out far too long and you knew people had people looking out for you. Waiting to catch you and make you pay. You quickly got out of the train station and started on your way back to the shitty, cheap hotel you’ve been hiding in. You’d been in that danm station for so long the sun had began to rise. The sky looked more pigmented, the air felt cleaner and you could actually think without hearing stray gunshots or phantom screams. You looked down at the small card in your clutches and flipped it over, revealing the number you had to call.

For the first time you hesitated in your plan. You were really about to go back to the place that ruined you. You missed the old version of you, when your real personality existed and you had a life. All you do all day is cry and shake and bang your head until you can form a thought. You were nothing like you remember being.

Maybe that’s what pulled you back there. The old you bringing you back to the last place she existed. A part of you actually did die in there, the part that still believed in people. She died right there with your friend, you left your soul in that dirt plot. And maybe you could find her again.

Once you got to the door of your room and got yourself inside you dialed up the number on your card and hit call. It rung a few times and when it picked up the automated voice command the same statement as before.

“If you wish to participate please state your full name and date of birth”

The words got stuck in your throat as you held the phone up to your mouth. This was your last chance to find something within you to back away.

“Y/n, D/O/B” you barely got it out fully as your stomach sank. This is what you wanted. This is what you asked for. Nothing matters. Nothing matters. Nothing-

“Player 444.” That’s him. That man with the black mask, that’s his voice. Hearing your number made you hold your breath and lose your balance. It’s been so long since you’ve been called that name. You knew it was him because his voice changer was a slightly different pitch than the other workers. “What is the point of this?” He asked with a serious voice, bordering threatening. You had an answer for this. “There is none. Get it? If there’s no reason to do it there’s no reason not to.”

He only hummed in response. Seemingly understanding at least a bit of what you said. “I have questions for you” you continued. This is what you’ve been waiting for. This was the point. You just needed to know

“questions?” He repeated. You guess he’s never been pressed by someone before. Small amounts of amusement was in his voice as if shocked anyone would speak to him like that

“Yes questions that’s what I said. Who are you and how are you able to get our information. Where did you take me. What is the point of-“

“I’ll tell you what” he cut you off in the middle of your frantic questioning. It’s probably for the best of you would never had stopped talking for him to even answer. You waited on bated breath, hanging on his words as you kept the phone pressed flush against your skin. Compartmentalizing his voice and how he talks into a file in your mind. “You want to play again because you want to know if your right, is that correct”

what he said caught you so off guard you didn’t even reply when he gave you a chance to respond. Every word got stuck in your throat to the point all that came out was strangled starts of a sentence. “You must have many theories in that little mind of yours. You’re coming because you think you’re smart enough to figure everything out, don’t you?”

Well… like kinda yeah that is what you think. You didn’t really know what to say, he hit it right on the head. You did think you could figure it out, actually you think you already have most of it. Not even his taunting could pull you out of that.

“Let’s play a game. If you can win again we can have a talk and I’ll tell you all you need to know. Only if you’re the last one standing.”

You knew it could never be that easy. With an operation of this scale and price you knew you would never get an offer so open. ‘If you can win again I’ll tell you anything’ they must believe you lost your brains when you lost your mind. Suddenly you did feel like you really didn’t know what you were getting into. It feels like a trap has already been set for you, it feels like they knew you were going to return all along. You struggled to breathe until you manged to force out a “okay”.

There was a muffled chuckle you could barely hear. There was something different now. You weren’t so sure about your plan anymore. He hadn’t said anything out right threatening or scary yet you knew he had something in store for you or else he never would put so much on the line. You just made a deal with the devil.

The original phone opera voice came back to tell you where to be picked up and that it would be this night. The phone hung up after that. All that remained was a deafening silence. It was done. You got what you had so badly wanted. But why doesn’t it feel as good as you wanted. Why don’t you feel fixed? Why hasn’t the old you come back to fix everything? That sinking feeling started bubbling over as you stood there with your phone in your hand. Beginning to hyperventilate you make your way to the crumby hotel bathroom and splash water in your face. You keep from looking in the mirror because you know what you’ll see. It will either be your friend or younger you. It used to be a huge problem when you first got out. Every time you’d forget and see them staring back at you you’d have another break down. Now it just puts you on edge, but it would be best if you just refrained from looking. You keep telling yourself that you can figure it out, you keep telling yourself it doesn’t matter if you live or die in there, you keep believing there’s no point in running from what would free you of your pain. Something deep inside tells you that you are close to seeing what the people who run this game do. That the epiphany they had to come up with this would make it all worth it. All you wanted was to see the bigger picture.

You could die happy and content dying just like your dear friend if it meant you could understand what it was all for. It’s on the tip of your tongue waiting to said and recognized.

You spend hours mulling over thoughts similar to these ones while you counted down the time before being relocated to what might as well be hell. You knew at this point you were walking into a death trap made just for you. You were going to either be granted the privilege of seeing the greater purpose of your suffering. You believed there had to be a reason, someone had to have figured out something huge to make them come to this.

Finally the fateful time reared its ugly head and you tugged on your coat. You looked at your room for the last time. You stood in the door way as your eyes brushed over all you had been. Papers scattered about, bottles of alcohol strewn about and random belongings resting in odd spots. It was time to say good bye once again. You are willing to leave it all behind and relive everything if it meant finding a purpose.

Eventually you arrived to you meet spot, an extremely expensive looking limousine was parked and waiting for you exactly where the phone operator said it would be. It was shiny and black with completely tinted windows. The anxiety you felt caused you to raggedly pant as you approached the car with unsteady steps. You gently opened the car door and stepped inside. The interior was white and luxurious and in front of your seat laid a golden pig. You sighed and closed your eyes waiting for the gas to kick in and claim your consciousness. Tears rolled slowly down your face as every even that happened in the games flash before your eyes. The blood, the screaming, the bits of brains and guts dried onto your clothes, and most of all the severed neck of the only friend you ever had. And to even your surprise you began to smile and giggle as you saw what happened to you play out like a movie in your minds eye. The gas started to be deployed into your enclosed car as your giggles became louder and more deranged. Sobs and laughter being mixed together as everything became hazy and burred.

Right before you black out you hear the masked man’s voice come from the little pigs speaker, loud and clear

“Welcome back, player 444. I hope you are happy with your decision”

_______

Sorry the friend is gonna remain nameless so you can imagine whoever. But next chapter when you get in the games there will be named characters. Again sorry you and in ho barely talked I just needed to get the exposition out before writing the main bits. Thank you sm gang and the next part will be out soon.

Also sorry end is kinda rushed I’m tired

[la-principessa-nuova]

Ok, so one thing I really hate is when book covers are updated based on an adaptation coming out, especially when the new cover is lazy and/or boring and the original had actual art and especially when it’s just showing the actor’s faces who have nothing to do with the book, instead of anything related to what the book is about.

But I think this is the worst case of it I’ve ever seen. I think this cover change actually should be considered false advertising:

Now if you haven’t both read the book and watched the show, you might not see what’s especially bad about this.

Although even without that info, I would still argue that it was not cowritten by Octavia Spencer and Aaron Paul and that seems a little misleading the way they’re listed, and I would also argue that the cover makes it look like the book is an adaptation of the show rather than the other way around.

But then let me tell you what each of these are about (apologies if i misremember some minor details bc it was a while ago now that i watched/read it):

the show, especially season 1, uses a mystery as a backdrop and jumping off point to primarily explore Octavia Spencer’s character Poppy’s conflict between various parts of her identity as a Black woman who grew up in poverty and abuse and went on to have a successful career as a reporter and marry an attorney and “got out”, but has now left her reporter job to start a true crime podcast and returned to her home town where her family is and where her father’s gang is and where her ex is a former cop. And then she starts to realize that maybe the white kid (Aaron Paul’s character, Warren Cave) that got charged with murder because of one of her stories years ago might actually have been innocent, but now while in prison he’s been indoctrinated into a white supremacist gang. And all the conflicts that seem obvious there start conflicting. Poppy faces a lot of cognitive dissonance over all of these conflicting parts of her, plus over trying to figure out if seeking the truth is hurting the people around her or helping them, or helping some and hurting others. Later seasons also focus on things like homelessness and child trafficking.

in the book, Poppy is a white woman with strawberry blonde hair, and the book is told from the perspective of one of the other characters, one of the victim’s daughters, Josie, plus epistolaries of excerpts from Poppy’s podcast and social media posts/comments. It’s one of those books where everyone is assumed white (in that hair colors and blushing and things are mentioned that imply they are white but race is never explicitly mentioned). The only mention of race I could find was one Reddit comment “what did you expect them to do? she was a pretty white girl and he was a big scary metal freak”. Instead it focuses on the psychological horror Josie, goes through in experiencing this unraveling of her life and reopening of the case she had tried to distance herself from. Warren is assumed to be evil for being, well, as that comment said, “a big scary metal freak”, or as Poppy described him, “the kind of teenager most of us cross the street to avoid.” But since then has become heavily Christian and repented against being like that. And Poppy is portrayed as a lot more about seeking attention and fame without consideration for who she hurts along the way (which is what the victim’s family thinks at times during the show, so that’s not too different other than the perspective).

The resolution to the case is quite different as well and there’s a lot of differences in how it approaches that and how the victim’s family feels since it is through their lens versus Poppy’s, but I don’t want to spoil it.

And I don’t give all those details to demonstrate that the book has lower value than the show. This is all to say that these are extremely different stories that only share the commonality of some of the people involved playing the same role more or less and some of the case details being the same.

And I think even if you haven’t seen the show, the cover gives the impression that this book will be about a Black woman and a white supremacist (due to the imagery of Aaron Paul’s shaved head and the associations that has), although I’m definitely biased having seen the show.

But either way the point of the change is to sell the book to people who saw the show, and honestly it’s a huge letdown because anyone who enjoyed the show is probably going to find the book pretty lacking in the kind of content they got from the show, and I think it is genuinely misleading in that it tries to give the impression that this is more or less the same story told in the show and that the subjects portrayed on the cover relate to the original story.

Do I think it will sell more copies? Of course. Do I think that it is evil? Yes. Do I think that it should be illegal? Also yes. Is it illegal? 🤷‍♀️ I’m not a lawyer.

So publishers, if you ever have a situation like this where the premise of the show is so fundamentally different from the book, I’m asking you to reconsider.

[not-that-blog]

I'm realising that I have to have one of those reality bubble conversations that I've always known would absolutely be a thing that comes up eventually but was hoping to avoid.

I am really good at playing the game of 'I'm fine' and like the csa was the worst of my childhood trauma.

Because in a healthier world, it would be.

But the actual reason it continued like it did and fucked me up how it did... is class warfare and poverty.

When you grow up knowing or at the very least being told, that it's lucky you have food on the table and that your abusers are the ones keeping you clothed in appropriate sized clothing, fed, making sure you have uniforms and shoes and doctors appointments and they're the only ones who actually ask about your injuries or help you with homework, etc... and you're already bullied for being poorer than the average demographic in your school at that time... and then when you leave that school to one with an even poorer demographic and you know that you're literally two-three bad months away from being in that level of poverty that is considered some of the worst in your state, at any given moment...

You at some point accept the abuse to both protect others because you'd rather it was you than them being hurt... and you don't speak up because you don't want your family to be even worse off.

And then as a teenager and young adult, I was homeless for random periods of time.

And yeah, I had a legal address and somewhere I could technically have gone back to and did during Covid lockdowns and I was lucky for that... but it was abusive, I went into psychosis, I self harmed, became an alcoholic again and tried to OD and got banned from certain prescription medications bc of it.

I was not okay. I would probably have been better on the street but had threats over my head to come back; mostly the threat of institutional violence meaning that regardless of my wants and needs, they could and would potentially take me back there and threaten me with using my disabilities against me to force me to stay.

And there were no wheelchair accessible shelters and I did not have the physical strength to fight anyone on it and thanks to covid no one else could take me.

So outside of that, I was homeless.

Part of my job is noticing the kids who are like I was, technically had a home, but home was so bad they were constantly wandering the streets or sleeping at friends and other family members places so they wouldn't be in danger or constantly feeling like they're under threat. Because I have to get them the resources that I didn't have and advocate for them.

I am stupidly proud of being able to at one point survive on less than $50 a fortnight.

But what goes unsaid there is; I ate next to nothing and brought next to nothing and relied on a lot of help to the point it was ruining friendships because they couldn't understand why I was always asking for help when I couldn't give it... and the reason was simply that I was poor and hungry and scared and exhausted and it almost killed me multiple times.

That I've gotten into more fights than I care to admit. That I starved. That I lived on near expired food and learned to keep things ultra clean because you can't afford an exterminator when you're poor and you can't afford the judgment even more.

That I know some weird life hacks and common sense and also that I find it really easier to find the fighters who are neglected in a crowd because it's so familiar to me.

And that's part of why I'm good at my job.

And the part that gets me is I was saying to someone that idk if I can afford a pet. Specifically two of the kittens I rescued the other night and delivered to the AWL and that I would love to adopt because I am so smitten with them and miss them already.

And the response that I was given was about food and litter.

And I couldn't find the words at the time to explain that's not the kind of poor I am.

I can find and will always be able to find the money so everyone else gets fed and clean.

But there's vet bills, medications, water bills, rental costs, time costs, potential lost shifts and babysitters and a whole host of other costs that when you're poor you're always aware and afraid of.

I haven't been to the dentist in years because I can't afford it.

I will never have the thousands of dollars in my account for that.

A vet bill can cost just as much.

My friend has spent the last three years paying off a vet bill for a cat he no longer has. (Kitty is alive, the ex just has them)

It's a lot of costs in preventive care and maintenance and time and effort... and still having emergency money because cats are dumb sometimes.

Because teeth and grooming and clipped nails and furniture protectors and scratching pads and trees and litter boxes with mats and enzyme cleaners and changing products because I use a lot of tea tree products atm, and baby gates and all these little things....

It adds up.

And when you have to carefully calculate groceries because you're too poor not to... it breaks you.

Like I fight with my housemate over the leftovers issue bc we both come from a level of severe poverty. I'm 'everyone else gets fed first' he's 'don't touch it until given or everyone might starve' so I don't eat if he's not eating but he panics at the idea of touching what I cook unless it's specifically told it's his.

We're both struggling with the cost of food waste bc of this and how it fucks with my brains understanding of how much food to have when hosting.

I also know how to host but am used to help, he's not used to it and avoids everything out of fear.

We both have severe poverty trauma with different results but we understand each other bc of it.

Trying to explain to someone who I don't think has ever had a complete lack of support system that I come from a level of poverty that was so severe that I ignored all basic instincts to protect my siblings from it and still to this day know that I'm literally one or two missed paychecks from homelessness and being at risk of abused again?

That's terrifying.

Because I know it'll fundamentally change how they see and treat me and I have worked so hard to make sure that doesn't happen.

I just want to hide in a little bubble of 'no one knows' forever.

Because no one should know how scary it was and still is. I'd rather just be weird to them than deal with the knowledge they see me differently because of it.

I know I need to tell them, I know I need to talk about it... but I really don't want to because it hurts and it sucks and I hate thinking about how scary money actually is and how close to poverty I actually am at any second.

And I really don't look forward to having the 'hon, you come from a very different financial world than I do. Because I was raised in a family that was using middle class life as a threat and telling me how much I would get none of it if I didn't play their game and then eventually I chose not to. Meanwhile, I don't think anyone has ever told you that you've grown up in a higher income bracket than you realise and I didn't grow up with any of that. I got it when my sister got money and she got raised with money I didn't have because it was her other side of the family and her kids having that meant I could start fighting my abusers. So I know what it's like, but I have never ever had it.'

I grew up in poverty through a mix of neglect and abuse.

And I am fully aware of what money can and can't buy.

But I also am very aware how quickly savings go and I know that I don't have a single backup plan right now.

[cookie-de-baunilha]

After doing some thinking, I definitely think a lot of Percy’s issues come not only from his toxic religious zealot father, but also from his relationship with his mother.

I’m not saying she didn’t love or care for him, Percy seems to remember her with fondness, unlike his father. And we know that, unlike his father, his mom respected Percy’s dislike for his real name and never called him that way. But family dynamics are waaay more complicated than that.

There wasn’t much she could’ve done to shield Percy from his father’s abuse, she was probably abused herself (Percy saying that she wasn’t sorry when he died speaks volumes). Divorce wasn’t an option back then. Just leaving him wouldn’t be simple either bc: 1) they would have to leave London and go somewhere else to escape him and also avoid the scrutiny of their religious community; 2) financial dependency, after all, they struggled financially after his death and that would’ve happened if she left him too, so maybe she wouldn’t choose that willingly.

It definitely wasn’t an easy situation with a quick getaway, so I don’t blame her, but that doesn’t change the fact that she was the other parent that couldn’t protect Percy properly. The good parent, but unable to protect her child nonetheless. We have a tendency to believe that only the openly toxic/abusive parent is traumatizing to the child, but the good parent can be too — precisely because of their “passiveness” on the face of the abuse their child is suffering.

Anyways, his father did die and they were freed from him eventually. But if they were already poor before that, their financial situation got super critical with his passing.

She tried to give Percy up for adoption because she knew she didn’t have money to sustain them both. And I know Percy seems very empathetic of his mother’s situation when he is talking about it, he says he doesn’t blame her for it. But we notice that that is a touchy subject to him: he is quick to dismiss it, but we can read between the lines how much that affects him. And we can probably see the effect that has on him with his low self esteem and abandonment issues (which aren’t caused only by this situation, but this is definitely one of the sources methinks).

Now, the next one I believe is what really fucks Percy up the most, even if it’s unconscious on his side.

Percy being forced (not by her, I mean the circumstances) into prostitution at the age of 14 because they were living in extreme poverty and starving. Honestly, I find it hard to believe that she wouldn’t have at least suspected that something was off. I don’t think she knew it was prostitution, but she would’ve definitely clocked that it was something shady because wdym you and your 14yo kid are broke af, not even a penny to buy food, and suddenly out of nowhere he starts to show up at home with all of that money after spending hours out in the streets of London without you knowing exactly what he is doing???

Like I’m sure he came up with something to tell her, but she would’ve known it was bs and that Percy was probably involved in some kind of criminal activity. It was one of those “don’t ask questions” situations. And again… she didn’t do anything to protect him.

“Oh she didn’t know” it doesn’t matter. Remember, it’s all unconscious. I don’t think Percy has any kind of conscious resentment of her, but I do believe those things build resentment on a deeply unconscious level. On a surface level, Percy doesn’t blame her for anything. But maybe there is a part of Percy that, deep down, wanted her to have rescued him, to have protected him from all of those traumatic experiences. His father. The prostitution.

All of that is in line with Percy’s perception of himself and his (perceived) inability to take himself out of harmful situations, to save himself (see Weber), because he is operating on a deep level of C-PTSD that involves parental, religious and sexual trauma.

Percy looks for a savior, someone that can rescue him, because he believes himself to be unable to do that — and I think a lot of that comes from his mother not being able to save him from prostitution and, earlier in life, save them both from his father. He thinks he is weak and a coward, forever stuck on that victim place and, guess what!!, that is his traumatized inner child speaking.

And that’s why every time someone in this fandom goes on about how Percy is weak and a coward I get sick to my stomach. Y’all have 0 empathy for victims the moment they don’t fit into the “perfect victim” role. And he is not even that bad like?????? Some people treat him like he has committed 30 different human rights violations istg you are the ones that are weak, y’all wouldn’t last a day in the ASOIAF or the IWTV fandoms 😭😭

Percy’s actions are mostly harmful to him, not other people.

TL;DR: Percy has (or rather, had 🥺 rip king) a lot of unpacking to do wrt his mother because there’s definitely A LOT going on there that most people overlook because the trauma caused by his father is more obvious. And the issues with his mother are even HARDER to deal with precisely because of how unconscious they are and the complex coexistence of feelings like love and resentment.

[scandalsavagefanfic]

Hello! I am a huge fan of ur writing. I've loved everything I've read of yours. I've read alot of what you've posted, except for a couple of the tags that are squicky for me (so I'm very thankful you tag very thoroughly). No judgement for the squick, it's just not for me. & when I'm having a bad day, I usually just go thru ur ao3 and find something to reread. I think about Therapy's Bruce & Jason every damn day. While I obvs appreciate ur darker more "problematic" content (I really vibe with some of the themes you write about bc of my own trauma, & so it's very cathartic to read about in a fictional setting), I am truly a sucker for ur more happy content. The Happily Ever After verse also lives in my head rent free. Idk more wholesome stuff just seems more special when you write it. Anyways. I would die for you. But the point of this ask is cause I'm curious as to why you don't like Urban Legends? I'm sorry if you already talked about it here or on twitter and I missed it. I was just wondering because I really enjoy your take on things and would love to hear why you dislike it. I've been enjoying it so far personally, but I am always open to DC comics criticism.

Aw thank you so much! I'm so flattered by everything you just said. You're so sweet ❤❤❤❤❤

I haven't talked about Urban Legends here or twitter (I haven't been very active in either place lately. Just a lot going on and no energy 😔) but I'm happy to do it here.

Before I start though, I just want to add a standard disclaimer and make it clear that if you like it, there's nothing wrong with that and you don't have to let me ruin it for you lol. Like what you like.

That said, since you asked...

I said this when I was talking about it on discord, that there is a difference between hope and expectation. I always hope that a new story centered on Jason (or anyone really, but things have been especially egregious for Jay for 15 years) will be good or at least treat the character with a minimal level of respect (to be honest, the bar is super fucking low). But my expectations always temper my hope, to keep it from getting unrealistic. Because my expectations are based on experience.

The long history of Jason Todd, since even before his resurrection, has been one of retroactively trying to make him "a bad seed" in order to absolve Bruce of any responsibility in his death.

I don't even expect DC or their writers to start honoring the fact that Jason was not an angry, reckless Robin (and less of the later than Dick or Tim and definitely Damian). There plenty of ways that retcon can be folded into his history and be compelling and sympathetic. And if they're going to stick with that retcon, I'm only asking that they do it in one of those compelling and sympathetic ways because Jason was 15 when he died, heroically, in one of the most selfless acts in comics, to save a woman who literally handed him over to be brutally murdered. He was 12 when Bruce plucked him off the streets, he'd been homeless and fending for himself for at least two years. I personally think that Jason's story hits harder for him and Bruce if their original, canon relationship, of Jason as starry-eyed and eager to learn and absolutely devoted to Bruce and Bruce to Jason, is preserved. But Jason's origins does leave room for a meaningful interpretation of him as angry and frustrated at the lack of meaningful results of Bruce's methods.

And that's really where my irritation at stories like Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer and Batman The Adventure Continues has it's roots.

Every time one of these stories comes out, I think (or hope, rather) that this will be the one that remembers and respects the origins of the Jason and the Red Hood, that takes into account the changed sensibilities of comics readers in the 30 years since Jason's death and the subtle, 20 year, retroactive campaign to make him the "bad Robin". The "born bad" trope is played out and literally no one likes the message it implies. That some kids are just bad eggs and there's nothing parents or the adults around them can do. Especially when it's played as the kid's fault. If Jason's time as Robin is going to be characterized by anger, then it should be rooted in anger at the social injustices he witnessed as he grew up in an impoverished, crime-ridden, area and the horrors he faced raising himself when every day was a battle for survival. There are topical, meaningful, stories to tell with that backdrop.

But those are never the stories we get.

⚠⚠ Spoilers for Batman: Urban Legends, Cheer ⚠⚠

I'm particularly disappointed in Urban Legends because for the first issue, it looked like that was the kind of story we were going to get. I was put off by the first flashback of Jason being mesmerized by Bruce's guns, and I got that feeling in my gut that it was a bad sign. Jason depicted as impatient and overconfident and the scene with the guns is heavy-handed foreshadowing that got my spidey-sense tingling. I had a inkling then (in the first three pages) of how this story was going to play out, but it was early and I could still see many narrative paths that could lead to a satisfying story. My concerns were soothed somewhat and the little flame of my hope fanned, with the flashback of Alfred scolding Bruce, with Barbara's concern for Jason. A bit of worry returned with the way Jason ruthlessly pursued an addict who didn't appear to be a dealer and with the ending of the issue. The stuff with the addict sat wrong with me but the ending was tempered some by how despicable Tyler's dad was written. The scene was clearly set so that the reader could sympathize with Jason's decision and the scene with the addict could be brushed aside as a side-effect of comics over-the-top need for constant action, so I still held hope.

Issue 2 made me uncomfortable and it's where my hope starts to take a backseat to my expectations. I can dismiss Jason's self-deprecating internal monologue as unreliable narration, except that the flashback reinforces his thought process to explicitly show that it's not unreliable narration, and should be taken at face value. Jason faces physical abuse at the hands of his mother's drug dealer and when the flashback continues later, Jason kills the drug dealer. To be clear, this is a pre-Bruce Jason. His mom is still alive. He's like... 10. He kills this guy for shoving his head into a wall and implying Jason's mother paid for her drugs with sex. This is a scene that serves a single purpose. To show that Jason has always been prone to violence.

In the spirit of full disclosure, there is the small chance the drug dealer might not be dead. But the story obviously wants the reader to think he is, and it hasn't done anything to change that yet.

Starlin already did this story with The Diplomat’s Son in 1988 and he did it infinitely better. AND that’s still technically canon. So now I’m supposed to believe that Jason lost his cool bad enough to kill two douche bags before his sweet 16? Like it’s totally normal for abused kids raised in poverty, who’ve led hard and heartbreaking lives to just... haul off and kill people? That’s bullshit, and when taken with the Jason in the third issue, who is little more than an idiot thug, this story is really doubling down on some fucked up stereotypes.

Which brings us to the most recent issue. I went into this installment with very low expectations. I thought this story was going to be about Jason, through this experience with Tyler, a young boy with a similar background to Jason's, coming to the realization that Bruce's way is the best way and that Bruce did his best by Jason.

That would be annoying (in no small part because it takes increasingly absurd levels of plot armor to keep Bruce's no kill rule relevant, let alone irrefutably right). But I can probably live with that, if only because maybe if Jason officially falls back into line with the Bats crusade, maybe I'll get stories that treat him with respect, stories that don't relegate him to comic relief, dumb brute, or a background body with no lines in a story about the Joker burning Gotham (like Jason would just fucking stand there quietly for that).

And that may still be where the story is going, Jason realizing Bruce is right.

But holy shit do I not have the right words to describe how fucking insulting and gross issue three is.

From start to finish--including the flashback--Jason is written as cruel and fucking stupid. Like straight up dumb.

The entire issue is Bruce explaining the fucking basics to Jason like it's his first day. And Jason flies off the fucking handle and terrorizes a doctor he knows isn't a part of making the Cheerdrops, beats the shit out of some random addicts, and finally, when he can't accomplish anything on his own because he's a dumb brute he calls Barbara for help and rushes in with no information where he's promptly incapacitated and must now wait to be rescued by Batman.

This panel is the least of the issues sins but I can’t screenshot the entire story but it’s representative of the tone for the whole issue (and retroactively tainted the prior two issues).

This is beyond insulting. The only conclusions Jason comes to in this issue are the ones Bruce leads him to by talking to him like he can’t make the simplest connections. And like... in this story Jason can’t make the simplest connections.

This (and the Jason throughout the entirety of this issue) is a far cry from the Jason we fell in love with in Under the Red Hood, who was competent and strategic and intelligent enough to seize control of Gotham’s underworld from Black Mask (who’s no fucking slouch, he’s the first and only person to unify organized crime in Gotham) AND elude and manipulate Bruce until the time and place of his choosing.

This is a far cry from even the Red Hood and the Outlaws Jason who is competent enough to fight the League of Shadows and Ra’s al Ghul (among very dangerous and skilled others) and smart enough to create antidotes for mind control nanotech viruses.

As he should be, by the way. Jason Todd is one of the best, most comprehensively trained fighters in DC’s stable of non powered vigilantes. He’s not irrational or hot headed. He’s pragmatic, tactically minded, and patient. He’s a detective. Right now. Has been since he was 12. Bruce doesn’t have to make him one because he already is. 

Jason is not a stupid thug who uses his fists because his brain doesn’t work. And I can’t tell you how so very exhausted I am by this narrative. 

This is actually the most egregious example of Jason’s skills and intelligence being not just undermined but dismissed entirely. Even Morrison’s Jason had some degree of competency. 

The one, single redeeming factor of this story is the art. It’s beautiful. And Marcus To is a godsend he seems to be one of only a couple of artists who remember that Jason was a child when he was Robin and I’m literally only buying this book because of him. 

Anyway, I’m sorry. I didn’t want that to come out so... um... passionately lol. I’m just very very tired. My intention with this isn’t to ruin it for you, if you like it, that’s fine. 

But this issue shot this story to the top of my "Vehemently Despise” list. 1) Batman: Urban Legends (Cheer), 2) Battle for the Cowl/Morrison’s Batman and Robin, 3) Batman The Adventure Continues.

I hope the next issues somehow salvage this dumpster fire. But I’m not expecting it.

(Damnit. That sounded harsh again. To reiterate, I’m not trying to judge anyone who enjoys it, I just personally hate it and you asked me why lol 😅)

[incorrect91quotes]

Point of No Return {91 Mafia!AU}

INTRODUCTION

Pairing: Idk yet x reader Genre: 91 Mafia!AU Warning: (Eventually) Lots of violence and strong language

Word count: IDK I CAN’T BE BOTHERED TO COUNT THE WORDS. 

A/N: Let’s start with some character intros bc I haven’t even written the first chapter.  FYI I don’t write smut, so don’t expect any.  Also, idk where this fic will even go.  Will there be fluff??  Will there be any romance at all??  Who knows. I just want a fic about 91 being badass mothafuckas.    

Also, this is structured like the Italian mafia. I don’t know how gangs work in KZ and anyway, this is a work of fiction.  K thanks bye. P.S. Gif owners are listed below the gif.

Summary:

Ninety One, the most powerful gang in KZ, finds itself on the defensive when a new gang appears threatening to seize Ninety One’s empire.  Meanwhile, Y/n somehow becomes embroiled in the ensuing gang war while studying abroad in KZ. 

Azamat Zenkayev: The Boss

Azamat leads the biggest and most powerful organized crime syndicate in KZ. He entered the business at a young age, building a reputation as a ruthless killer and moving up the ranks through manipulation and murder.  He was only 18 when he became the leader, taking the place of notorious crime boss, Serikbolat Zhanibekov.  He is calm, quiet, and exceptionally brutal, making him the most well-respected and feared man in Kazakhstan.  He’s working to dissolve the entire organization so he can live a quiet, normal life.

Batyrkhan Malikov: Counsel

Batyrkhan comes from a wealthy family that disinherited him when he went to work for Serikbolat Zhanibekov.  Serikbolat financed the rest of his education, allowing Batyrkhan to become a top-notch lawyer and Serikbolat’s counsel and confidant.  He knows everything there is to know about the law, including how to get around it.  His well-mannered exterior makes for a good cover-up, so when there’s a problem, Batyrkhan is there to take care of it.     

Azamat Ashmakyn (ACE): Hitman

Azamat Ashmakyn signed up for compulsory military service immediately after he turned 18 to escape an abusive family.  He trained in all forms of combat, but excelled in shooting, eventually becoming one of the military’s top snipers.  After being recruited by Batyrkhan and promised a much higher salary, he abandons the Kazakh military and goes off the grid, taking the name, “Ace.”  Ace has a strong code of ethics, but luckily, his assignments have not yet violated that code.

Dulat Mukhametkaliev: Underboss

Dulat is a childhood friend of Azamat’s.  Growing up in poverty, they often had to steal to survive.  They always had each other’s backs, so when Azamat became the leader, of course he brought Dulat in as his second-in-command.  Dulat possesses both book-smarts and street-smarts, making him the smartest man on the team and the mastermind behind many of their plans.  Azamat shows great respect for Dulat, so everyone else accepts his authority without question.

Daniyar Kulumshin: Interrogator

Daniyar was adopted by Azamat’s parents as a child.  He and Azamat formed a strong brotherly bond that continues today.  Daniyar always admired Azamat and wanted to be by his side in the gang business.  He gathers information from Azamat’s enemies through interrogation.  Though his methods are unorthodox and at times disturbing, he always gets results.  Daniyar trusts Azamat and Azamat alone.

Otinshin Madiyaruly: Captain

Formerly one of Serikbolat’s captains and the first one to swear loyalty to Azamat.  His willingness to follow orders and his success in executing said orders helped him gain Azamat’s respect.  However, Otinshin is a charismatic and ambitious man and his ambitions often clash with Azamat’s.  Otinshin’s soldiers harbor an almost cultish admiration for him, but as long as he gets the job done, Azamat doesn’t care.  

[artlessictoan]

Do you have any more detailed headcanons on the life before the orphanage of the sand sibs 2.0?

yes I absolutely do! potential spoiler warning for breakingthe cycle?? I’m honestly not sure how much of this is actually gonna come up inthe fic, since I haven’t really got any set plan for it, I deliberately wantedto keep Shinki’s past in particular kinda vague bc I wanted to depict a characterwho doesn’t have to disclose alltheir trauma, even to those closest to them, and have that decision respectedby their loved ones, so I guess if you’re really curious about him then thiscould be the background that helps you understand the parts of his characterthat will only be hinted at within btc? Yodo and Araya’s bits are the mostlikely to actually be explored in the fic, so yeah maybe kinda sorta spoilers ifyou’re willing to wait 500 years for me to get my act together kjdfhg

(tw for child neglect, homelessness and physical abuse)

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Araya

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Araya had the most normal and healthy childhood of thethree, he had loving, low-ranking ninja parents and was a sweet – if very shy –boy, money was always a bit tight and he had some anxiety to deal with, but atthat age neither really affected him much.

That changed a few months after his he turned six, when afire started in his home; his parents managed to get him out, but not before hereceived severe burns, in the process they both inhaled significant amounts ofsmoke and both died later in hospital, Araya himself survived, though he had extremescarring across much of the right-hand side of his body – and particularly onhis face – and was left partially blind in his right eye (can just see coloursand unfocused shapes). No one in his extended family was either willing or ableto take him in, especially with the medical care he still needed, so, after he’drecovered as much as he could, he was sent to Suna’s orphanageand we know what happened from there

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Yodo

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She had a much more.. complicated childhood. She wasabandoned at birth, left in an alley in an area where Suna’s homeless tended tocongregate, she was discovered and taken in by a kind man before she starved,though she was already weak and quite sick. He cared for her for a short time,but died before her first birthday, she drifted around between various carers andhad a few short stints in the orphanage though she quickly learned how to lookafter herself and never stayed in one place very long before she was eitherabandoned or ran away herself (to pre-empt the inevitable abandonment she’dcome to expect), the times she was sent to live with foster parents endeddisastrously, as she’d become accustomed to living on the streets, stealing toget by and fighting for herself, so she spent most of her early years homeless,living in harsh, poverty-stricken places.

Of the people who helped raise and teach her, the one who affectedher the most was an older boy who let her hang around when she was about five,he was in his mid-teens and the youngest of her street friends and he wassimilarly cynical and distrustful of adults and the world at large, so sheautomatically felt a bit of kinship with him. They didn’t ever intend to becomeclose, they just happened to be squatting in the same building and wouldoccasionally do each other a solid without being asked, sometimes one or theother would disappear for a while, but they’d eventually come back to a (relatively)warm welcome, playing card games, teaming up for big thefts, etc.

After a few months of getting to know each other, they’d startedto open up about all the people who’d hurt or left them and Yodo started tothink of him as her big brother, but when he was caught by a local thug who they’dstolen from, he ran away, leaving her to take the beating meant for him, afterthat, she found a new place to sleep and decided that absolutely no one was everworth trusting. She saw him a few times afterwards, always flying into a rageat him, but she didn’t really blame him at the time, it’s just the law of thestreets to always look out for number one after all.

She soon found herself back at the orphanage though.

---

Shinki

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Ok so I’ve mentioned before that my version of Shinki isactually related to Gaara? First cousin once removed to be exact, not thatGaara knows that (Shinki is vaguely aware but prefers not to think about it).

The kage line is a lot more lineage-tied in Suna than othernations, and the council tends to be rather conservative, so when the third Kazekagehad a child with a mistress, they ‘encouraged’ him to disown the boy, not evenallowing him to support him or his mother; the son in question was always incrediblybitter about that and, when the third eventually went missing and was officiallydeclared dead, he vied with the legitimate son (Rasa) for the kage title, butlost, partly because of his birth but also because he didn’t inherit the magnetrelease, something he had tried and failed to activate since he was a child.

When Rasa came into power, he pushed his half-brother’s familyfurther and further into destitution, until they were completely powerless. Unableto reach the position of Kazekage, the son eventually married and had a childof his own, but remained an unpleasant, cold man to everyone around him.

When Rasa died, he once again tried to claim the title, thenwhen that failed pushed his daughter to compete against Gaara for it, she hadat least a modicum of self-preservation and didn’t bother – though she was alwaysone of Gaara’s most persistent detractors, not agreeing with his pushes forpeace and internalising a fair bit of her father’s old grudge against the kage family.Some time after the last great ninja war, she had a son, Shinki.

His parents were always quite cold with him, broken peoplefrom broken families themselves, neither one was really interested in having achild, so outside of basic care, they just left him to himself. When he turned three,his father died while out on a mission, unable to cope with the loss, hismother tracked down his killers to get revenge, but ultimately only got herselfkilled; with no other family to take care of him, Shinki was sent to live withhis maternal grandfather, Rasa’s half-brother.

At first there was very little difference between livingwith his parents and his granddad, they were all distant and had little interestin him, but when Shinki one day stopped a metal pan falling off the countermid-air, his grandfather lost it, inhis youth he’d been denied the position of kage in part because he hadn’t inheritedthe third’s abilities, but this strange, silent boy who could hardly even walkup and down stairs was exhibiting the magnet release? All his deep-seated rageand inadequacy came out and he hit Shinki. Then it happened again a few dayslater. And then it kept happening,every time he showed any sign of moving metallic objects, then any time he wasa bit too loud, or got in the way, or was just in his line of sight on a badday.

It continued through the ages three to seven, when hisgrandfather finally grew ill and died (natural causes, he was getting very old).He hadn’t bothered to inform the hospital staff that he had a child in hiscare, so eventually when the food left at home ran out, Shinki went out to buysome more, attracted the concern of a shopkeeper who, after being unable to geta word out of him, took him to the authorities. When it became clear that noone was looking for a missing child and Shinki didn’t seem at all concernedabout finding his parents, he was sent to the orphanage, to eventually meet Araya,Yodo and Gaara and discover what family reallyis.

---

[marcydcy-blog]

name: marceline joanne day age: thirty-nine sexuality: heterosexual (bicurious ) pronouns: she / her occupation: baker , owner of ‘ witching flour ‘ bakery and cafe sign: taurus  pinterest: here

* ¦ AMY ADAMS + MARCELINE DAY you have finally arrived. i’ve heard they describe you as the WINE AUNT. i think you come from the DC UNIVERSE, isn’t that right? it’s nice to meet you, welcome aboard. 

HELLO, your name is?

character’s name: marceline joanne day

DO YOU, come from a regular city, or a fandom?

i come from: the DC universe.

WHAT IS YOUR, label?

i’m known as: the WINE AUNT

WHAT’S YOUR, personality like?

i can be: patient , organized , supportive , selfless , careful , dedicated , a hopeless romantic , and stubborn , lazy , frugal , overly cautious ,  controlling and a workaholic. 

WILL YOU, attempt to leave?

i will: not.

IS THERE, anything else you want to tell me?

i’m just really confused as to how i got here still , but i’ve sorta’ gotten used to it and am making the best of it !

okay so i wrote all this junk up last night and ofc i lost it bc i was too stoned to think properly. anyway i’m posting the about form here but you will also be able to find it on her blog soon and under this i’ll put some bio bullet points for you to get to know my earth angel marcy day

TW; DRUG ABUSE MENT.

marceline was born and raised in jump city ( come @ me teen titan bbies ). home girl really never left either , she had no reason to bc hello it’s jump jump city bitchhhh 

family was things weren’t exactly ideal. her mother left her father when she was two and hooked up with another man who would later then become an addict and the bane of her actual existence

she has two younger  ‘half’ sisters and a little ‘half’ brother ( feel free to hmu to fill these connections ) but they never refer to one another as such. she was v much a leader and took on also a maternal role almost as if to replace their absentee father.

anyway life was rough on them growing up with an overworked mother and a drug addicted stepfather who could barely maintain a job most of the time so they lived paycheck to paycheck and were always on the verge of being on the street. many a time the family shared a single can of corn or peas for dinner. 

yadda yadda she p much just struggled through life dealing with the dysfunction of her family and the many issues that caused for her growing up. she graduated and finally got something from her poverty and that was a full ride to college

marcy went to school for baking and pastry and two years later she’s graduating and working as head pastry chef in a high end restaurant !!!

it wasn’t until she was well into her 30s that she finally decided you know what ? i don’t work for anyone else ( men specifically lol all her bosses were men and ) ! i’m a strong independent woman ! really she’s just super stubborn and p much hated to not be in control 

so at like 33 ( ? ) lil mama opened up her bakery cafe ‘witching flour’ named bc she loVES HALLoWEen !! honestly she seriously just loves loves loves the holidays any holiday

so now she p much just works and that’s it ? she lives above the bakery so she literally never really gets a break from work , she doesn’t bring work home she lives in it so catch her opening super early or staying open late at the most random times bc she can’t or won’t sleep

marceline day is a lot like giselle or jessica day lol imagine that but yeah she’s a sweet sweet angel like literaly sunshine. a soft , golden, but sometimes bossy overworked wine-o 

CONNECTION IDEAS:

best (boy)friend: i would really like for her to have a bff that’s a male that she’s probably known for a long ass time and they’re super close and platonic and stuff but maybe there’s a will they/won’t they vibe or unrequited love involved or just a ship depending on the vibe we get you know ??? 

childhood friends: she was born and raised in jump city and has never left until ending up here

ex-boyfriends/flings/dates: she had maybe one or two bfs in hs but they probably weren’t that serious but also like her prom date could be a plot connection ? she has probably had a few one nightstands through the years and dates but she’s never been a big dater or anything 

fwb: like for real friends with benefits like been sleeping together for years probably lol bc she likes the consitency of a good lay but not the commitment of a real relationship but she probs genuinely cares about her fwb

“nieces/nephews”: she’s considered the wine aunt so i think having some muses who are younger than her that she is close to and sort of mentors ? in a way ? not really but just that she’s there for and gives advice to sort of like your aunt might but like your cool aunt that will let you drink some wine 

gal pal(s): i’m down for marcy to have one or two females that are her like bffs and they might’ve been older when they met but they still like to have a good time and shit ! grigio girls by lady gaga type’a shit 

employees: she owns a bakery so if you want your muse to work there either as a baker or a cashier then hmu

college??: i’m not sure /where/ exactly she went to college ( could be entirely made up ) but they could’ve attended together or something ? been roommates ? 

ex coworkers: she has worked in a couple different high end restaurants so that’s a potential plot connection ? 

customers: could be from the bakery or could be from other restaurants she worked in

dc universe: she’s from that universe so she will probably know who your muse is at the v least if you’re muse is also from the dc universe and considered a hero or villain 

[itsiotrecords-blog]

http://ift.tt/2tqBbAp

The next time you take a trip to see the magnificent beaches of Mali, take a leisurely gondola ride in Venice, or wonder at the architecture of the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco, make sure to bring your best camera. If scientific studies are accurate, photos will be the only way your great-great-grandchildren will see them. Mother Nature has slated a number of places to significantly shrink or disappear from the earth entirely by 2100 due to climate change, changing soil and sea levels, natural disasters and economic problems. It’s not too late, but these places may very well become the next Atlantis.

#1 San Francisco, USA Most people realize the earthquake danger in San Francisco, yet the enormity of the potential devastation is almost beyond comprehension. According to the University of California, research forecasts a 75% probability that an earthquake of a 7 or greater magnitude will occur by 2086. Will the survivors elect to re-build the majestic city? Will they be able to? Prior to Katrina, the population of New Orleans was close to 500,000. Afterwards, the population shrunk by about half. It’s rising again, but the demographics are still far lower than they were pre-Katrina. The population of San Francisco is about 900,000. Tall structures abound and there’s no such thing as a completely earthquake proof structure. In fact, the population of San Francisco is shrinking. Not only is the city pricey, but many are wondering where they or their relatives may end up with the city’s hazardous coastline and predicted disasters!

#2 Venice, Italy One of the world’s most romantic cities has been sinking for about a millennium. The pace has increased rapidly over the last 100 years, with the soil level sinking about 24 centimeters. Venice’s vulnerability to sea and groundwater level change is extremely serious. For example, 100 years ago St. Mark’s Square flooded around nine time per year,  and now it’s inundated with water 100 times per year. The government has been working on plans to protect Venice, but will they work? No one knows. Preserving Venice has been a priority of the Italian Government for about 30 years. Several billion euros have been dedicated to a major flood defense system, called the MOSE Project. Proposed since the 1970s, it’s basically a series of floodgates to stretch across three openings that connect the Venetian Lagoon with the Adriatic Sea. However, the progress of the project has been checkered with stops and starts, new completion dates and now possible illegality. In June the Mayor and other top officials were arrested on corruption charges involving MOSE. It’s been suggested that the City be moved to higher land altogether to protect its population and precious art and frescoes.

#3 Detroit, USA “Motor City” may become “Abandoned City” as the population of Detroit continues to decline. If these trends keep up, Detroit will be changed beyond recognition by 2100. The culprits include major economic and demographic decline, including moves to the suburbs. At its peak in 1950 the population was 1,850,000, compared with its present 701,000. Global competition in the automobile industry, significant unemployment, crime rates and severe urban decay have rocked the city. In 2013, Detroit filed the largest municipal bankruptcy case in American history. The unemployment rate is 23.1%, and one-third are living below the poverty level. Parts of the city are already ghost towns as urban decay has set into once thriving communities. Some areas look completely wild. Detroit also has some of the highest crime rates in the United States — in 2012 their murder rate was 53 per 100,000, ten times that of New York City. A 2012 Forbes report named Detroit the most dangerous city in the United States for the fourth year in a row. In 2010, Mayor Bing put forth a plan to bulldoze one fourth of the city and concentrate the population into certain areas to improve the delivery of essential city services. In February 2013 the Detroit Free Press reported the Mayor’s plan to accelerate the program and desire for federal funding to tackle Detroit’s problems in order to “right size the city’s resources to reflect its smaller population.”

#4 Ivanovo, Russia This district capital and administrative center of Ivanovo Oblast is in serious decline. Once a major textile center, the city attracted women seeking work. This created a significant gender imbalance that gave it the nickname “The City of Brides.” Since the breakup of the Soviet Union, 60% of the population had to live on food they grew, a survival strategy known as the “dachma movement.” Growing textile competition from China and other emerging economies also eroded the economy. The combination of a low birthrate, high poverty, crime, drug and alcohol abuse, high mortality rates, poor quality of dwellings, and “grey” businesses have all but destroyed the once thriving city as its youth are leaving to seek an education and re-settle somewhere with modern industry.

#5 Mexico City, Mexico Mexico City began as the home of an ancient empire and grew into  one of the world’s largest cities, with more than 20 million people living in this modern metropolis. It’s built on top of the Aztec capital, Tenochtitlan. It was here where, in 1519, Cortes allegedly met Montezuma, the Aztec emperor. After conquering the Aztecs, Cortes, in Spanish tradition, placed the square at the heart of the city, surrounding it by buildings representing the church and the government. Yet the city, home to Diego Rivera murals, cathedrals and palaces, is literally sinking. The problem is its base. A dried lake bed makes a poor foundation. According to government officials, Mexico City is sinking at a rate of four inches a year and has sunk 10 meters in the past sixty years. So be prepared to walk carefully when you visit.

#6 Banjul, Gambia The small West African nation of Gambia may lose its capital due to a combination of the rising ocean and erosion. Banjul is at risk of going underwater as sea levels rise by one meter as a result of climate change. Settlements will be eroded, and over half of the country’s mangrove forests and a fifth of its rice fields will be lost. The decrease in rice production would be disastrous, as would other environmental changes including droughts, floods and storms. As tourist attractions and fisheries are located in the coastal zones, the economy would be critically affected. The government is trying to improve coastal defenses, but whether they can save the city and the coast is unknown.

#7 Timbuktu, Mali When sand dunes advance on fertile land, desertification is a problem. The city in southern Africa facing the greatest danger was a center of Islamic education during the 15th and 16th centuries. Timbuktu is over over 1,000 years old and is known for its tourist attractions, which include beautiful beaches with turquoise reefs and many historical sights. Sadly, your grandchildren may have to find other exotic locations to go snorkeling, as some parts are already half buried in sand despite several projects to re-green the area.

#8 Naples, Italy Naples is the magnificent capital of the Italian region Campania and the third-largest municipality in the country. As of 2012, the population was around 960,000 with an urban area of about 3.5 million, making it one of the largest metropolises on the Mediterranean Sea. One of the oldest continuously inhabited cities in the world, Naples’ historic city center is the largest in Europe and is listed by UNESCO as a World Heritage Site. Naples has long been a major cultural center with a global sphere of influence, particularly during the Renaissance and Enlightenment eras. Visitors are treated to historically significant sites, including the Palace of Caserta and the Roman ruins of Pompeii and Herculaneum. Its nemesis has been the time-bomb, Mount Vesuvius, located in the Bay of Naples. The volcano that destroyed Pompeii in 79 BC erupts about every 100 years, with the last eruption coming in 1944. It’s expected to do its damage once again in the mid-2000s, putting the city and half a million people in the “red zone” if they’re not evacuated in time.

#9 Bangkok, Thailand Bangkok is in trouble. The city is sinking, while sea levels are rising. Building foundations are being pushed into the muddy soil and underground aquifers are being drained for drinking water. Rising sea levels are the real problem, though, with estimates giving the city no more than a century until the streets become canals. While scientists agree that the problem needs to be addressed they disagree on the best solution, while the government doesn’t appear to be looking for any solution at all. The city won’t flood overnight, but if you want to check out its awesome robot building it may be better to go sooner rather than later.

#10 Other American Cities in Jeopardy Rising seas and global warming have put U.S. coastal cities at risk. Residents should consider either seeking higher ground or avoiding any long-term investments. Since 1889, global sea levels have raised about eight inches, and they’re still climbing. Rising seas dramatically increase the odds of damaging floods from storm surges. One analysis found the odds of floods occurring by 2030 are on track to double or worse. Nearly five million Americans live less than four feet above high tide. In decades, New York City, New Orleans, Boston, Washington D.C., and southeast Florida may be overcome by flood conditions made worse by climate changes. Other cities that could be affected include Baltimore, Charleston, Houston, Galveston, Los Angeles, Long Island, Sacramento, Philadelphia, Delaware, Portland, Providence, San Diego, Savannah, Seattle, Tacoma, Virginia Beach and Norfolk. That pretty much just leaves Kansas, but then you run into the tornado problem. And you’d have to live in Kansas.

Source: TopTenz