#complaining about ships is just so annoying and even more so when you’re putting it in character tags

[cahirdyffryns]

I am once asking people to stop putting ship nonsense in Ciri’s tags!! STOP IT!!! there’s already very little in there I don’t wanna see whinging about who she’s sleeping with!!!

[cringefaecompilation]

DORIAN STORM, ROBBIE DAYMOND, AND THE CRITICAL ROLE FANDOM

because some people don’t know how to act when a piece of collaborative media they like starts getting people of color to add to it. a good amount of this are things I’ve already discussed on my blog, so if you’ve been following me for a while, consider this a more polished version of my complaining. obvious content warnings for racism, with explicit focus on whitewashing, pinkwashing, and cultural assimilation.

quick note before we start: we’re talking about racism, not how annoying you think xyz white character is or how much you want to punt all xyz shippers into a fire. keep your comments focused on dorian himself; it feels counterproductive when conversations about the racism experienced by actors of color and the fictional characters they play snowballs into shitting on fictional white characters and completely ignoring the former.

with all that said, let’s begin.

if you’re reading this, there’s a strong possibility that you already know who dorian storm is, but just in case if you don’t, i’ll give you a quick rundown.

dorian storm is an air genasi bard from campaign 3 of critical role. he made his debut a few months before the third campaign official started in what was meant to be an anthology series on the channel: exandria unlimited. after eight episodes in that series, a short 14 episode run establishing the new campaign, and two more episodes in a sequel to the first anthology, dorian remained largely out of focus for the remainder of the campaign up until episode 92 whereupon he returned and rejoined his party for the third act climax.

while he’s generally beloved, most of his fans haven’t seen or acknowledged his debut, and have only watched the main series campaign. it’s a shame, given how little he’s given to do in the main campaign asides reconnect with his elder brother cyrus. most of his characterization is found in the anthologies and gets built upon when he comes back, so the fandom’s aversion to watching it means they’re missing out on a lot of what robbie’s established for dorian. the more i thought about this aversion, the more it hit me as to why people might be put off it. for such a beloved fandom character, most fans have completely forgotten that exandria unlimited was largely dorian’s story, with opal picking up the slack whenever he took a break from being in the spotlight. by comparison, fearne, orym, and dariax had minimal screentime and vaguer backstory setup. 

dorian and opal taking up the vast swath of story in makes sense for two reasons: robbie and aimee were completely new to the hobby! let the new guys have their fun instead of letting the professionals try to backseat drive the story! the second reason is that ashley johnson, liam o’brien, and matthew mercer are 100% going to return to critical role. it’s their jobs! so they can stand to fight over the same 15 minutes of screentime where aimee and robbie have their fun in the spotlight. even not-so-new kid anjali bhimani got a massive swath of her storyline and backstory established despite only appearing for half the first mini-series!

the same thing happened with calamity, where the plot was primarily moved by aabria and luis. sadly, lou did not get to add as much as them (or the rest of the cast imo) but brennan understood not to give marisha, travis, and sam special attention because they’re always there.

and if we’re talking about calamity, there’s another thing we’ve got to talk about. why is the pre-campaign three series that is predominantly played and dm’d by people of color, treated as more expendable than the pre-history avalir series despite involving three fandom-beloved characters and two fandom-beloved ships? how come people complained about an episode and a half being dm’d by aabria because “they weren’t warned ahead of time” but were fine with brennan taking over critical role for an entire month when there was equally zero “warning” for him to do so? and thinking harder, i suppose i came up with our thesis question.

do people even really like dorian?

DORIAN/ROBBIE BASHING

edit: robbie pulled a pro gamer move and this section is now somewhat inaccurate. see here for an explanation.

since dorian’s vocal haters aren’t as numerous as his vocal fans, i’ll go through this part quickly.

i understand that any character can be grating to anyone for any reason, but some of their insults and insistences about dorian and robbie tend to get a bit loaded. we’re not racist! we just think robbie daymond is just uniquely annoying with crosstalk and his character’s backstory doesn’t mesh with the story the campaign is trying to tell! he’s not a real member of the group because he wasn’t there for all their important moments! he should just die offscreen so they’ll shut up about him already! the only reason people want him back is because they’re rabid liam o’brien fangirls that want him to kiss a man with tongue on-screen!

we’ll touch on that last bit later, but there’s always a weird pit in my stomach whenever someone insists that dorian doesn’t work with bell’s hells. the watsonian side of me wants to argue that a runaway/disguised noble is a perfectly common npc type. but the doylist side of me wonders if they think it’s because robbie does not fit in as a person with the cast of critical role because there’s just something too different about him. i wonder if you can tell what it is.

and this last one is more of a nitpick, but a few people joked about how robbie, christian, and utkarsh were all interchangeable or sound or look the same. don’t do that.

in full fairness, i don’t think it makes someone a racist automatically if they dislike a fictional person of color. after all, you can say “i think finn was underutilized in the star wars trilogy and had an unsatisfying character arc, so i cannot bring myself to like him” and still acknowledge that there was bigotry in the writer’s room that led to said poor character arc.

unfortunately, someone might agree with only the first part of your complaint and then add on that they fantasize about blowing up john boyega with their mind so that rey and kylo can have their perfect aryan babies in peace. not only that, but the insistence that a person of color having a minimal role compared to the white people in the story to explain why you can’t be a fan of them goes from explanation to excuse rapidly when you realize how many white background characters are given their own sub-fandoms built solely upon headcanons.

which leads us to our next point.

DOUBLE STANDARDS AND WHITEWASHING

this fandom seems to have a massive problem with headcanons, but it’s not for the reasons you’d think. they have to act as though the person is only making up headcanons to spite either the rest of the fanbase or the human actor themselves. i’ve no such compunctions about headcanons. give pike glasses! make laudna viet! say that caduceus is a cane user! but there comes a problem when you insist that your angsty trauma headcanons are more genuine than someone who has legitimately gone through the same in canon.

what do i mean by that? let’s pivot a bit to a comparison between two seemingly unrelated characters that made the rounds about a year ago: essek thelyss and bor’dor dog’son. don’t worry, this ties into dorian, i swear.

both men were jaded by religion and religious people in their lives and were led down dark paths when martinet ludinus da’leth entered their lives and attempted to sway them into his anti-god cult. bor’dor was fully sucked into the cogs of his killing machine and offed by bell’s hells, but essek fled into hiding after giving ludinus a holy item that belonged to his people, realizing too little too late the weight of his actions.

according to fandom, essek was manipulated emotionally into a bigoted movement and just needed to be deradicalized because he didn’t know what he was doing was wrong. the fictional man of color, bor’dor dog’son, as portrayed by the real-life man of color, utkarsh ambhukdar, for some reason is not given this grace at all. in fact, he’s been compared to delilah briarwood of all people because both of them were villainous sorcerers that felt slighted by someone, despite this comparison falling flat outside of the aesthetic where she is a broken bird crying out for her husband rather than a conniving unrepentant villain. or perhaps they see him as just as evil as her for harming and deceiving the white player characters.

it seems fandom is more comfortable with the illusion of a person of color as voiced by a white man, filtered through a fantasy species canonically discriminated against, and further filtered through headcanons, fanart, and fanfiction by their choice rather than having to interact with the indian man on screen staring back at them.

and if bor’dor is demonized for being a person of color, then dorian is liked for… being a person of color… that the fandom can pretend he isn’t because his skin is blue and not brown.

dorian is literally a person of color with his blue skin and hair, but he’s still also an actual person of color because of his player. compare him to sam nightingale and katja cleaver, despite having powder blue skin and olive-green skin and being fantasy creatures (triton and orc), they wasted no time in telling brennan lee mulligan that there would be no “carmelinda” nonsense; they were a black transfeminine woman and an indian woman just the same as them.

and if you’re going to say, “okay but assuming a person of color has to play a character that’s the same race/ethnicity as they are makes you the real bigot!”

again, must i refer to sam nightingale and katja cleaver. they made the active decision to depict their characters the same as themselves. they consented to it. this was not some sort of shallow corporate-driven plot to force two women of color into portraying diverse characters to capitalize off their identities.

and likewise, the same can be said for robbie and dorian. robbie daymond identifies as multiracial and is part apache. that’s straight from his twitter, so it’s very easily accessible to anybody that would be curious.

so going back to critical role, dorian comes from a nomadic people who keep mostly to themselves and provide wisdom to its diasporic people that come to them for guidance. they’re extremely secretive and even more so distrustful of outsiders, resorting to violence as a last-ditch effort to ensure their secrecy. they can’t risk anything about their people or their culture falling into the wrong hands and warn their children to be wary of the outside world. dorian and his brother reject being called princes a lot of times, and cyrus only picks it up because he likes the sound of it!

if you aren’t from the united states of america you might not know (and even if you are, you still might not know) apache tribes are known for being nomadic. being diasporic and wary of outside forces attempting to harm one's culture only further bolsters the coding. dorian’s backstory appears to be robbie attempting to reconnect with his culture, and good on him! but for some reason, the fandom hasn’t picked up on that. look, i love fanart that emphasizes robbie’s culture, but the number of times i’ve seen people reblog/retweet it without a second thought and then go back to ignoring the exact same cultural coding in canon is… something else.

if vandran can somehow have an accent (and fjord can mimic it) from the southern united states of america off the coast of a continent based on eastern europe, if byroden is somehow comparable with the real-life city of laredo, texas despite being smack dab in the middle of a continent based on western europe, if the air ashari’s culture is a weird mishmash of samoan, irish celtic, and pan-east asian (by way of avatar the last airbender) cultures, then i don’t think it’s an unreasonable thought that the silken squall would not have to be a one-to-one recreation to be coded as such, laurel crowns be damned.

this lack of attention to this detail in fandom is a bit strange, as usually every other (usually male) character has their backstories and everything that their players intended for them memorized to a t by the fandom. it’s almost a running gag at this point where if someone makes a headcanon that bends canon the slightest millimeter and begins to gain traction, you’ll have someone more popular than them instantly vagueing “crazy entitled fans” who “think they know better than canon”. so what makes robbie’s unstated intentions for dorian (outside his affection for his friends and possible romantic crushes) completely fly under the radar? doesn’t anybody think that’s weird? does he need to say out loud that dorian is coded as native so people will realize it?

but even this erasure isn’t the worst of bigotry with his character, that’s saved for the next part.

STEREOTYPES

the irony of dorian’s backstory being whitewashed but his role in fandom still heavily conforming to racist stereotypes about native americans is not lost on me. it’s like there’s a veil keeping them from fully realizing it, but it’s thin enough for them to latch onto unconscious prejudices. there are a lot of caricatures of native americans in media, both within and outside of north america, but only two of them apply to dorian’s treatment in fandom. the magical indian and the noble savage.

the magical indian, much like the magical negro and the magical asian, is nothing more than a paragon of perfection that exists only to prop up the white characters. they give sage advice and mentorship, but have little to no aspirations of their own or even a life outside their relationship with their white protégé. they may die heroically to spur the white characters into action and mourn how kind and perfect they were.

the noble savage gives similar bolstering to the white characters, but carries even worse implications. at the very least the former is seen as something resembling a person, deified and lacking all depth as they may be. the noble savage is treated like an entirely alien species, and a violent and dangerous one at that. he is handsome, in an exotic, othered way, but violent and unable to be reasoned with and only ever sated for a time. despite being “one of the good ones” he still needs to be “civilized” completely out of his culture or murdered to avoid tainting white culture.

obviously nothing in this fandom gets that bad, but the parallels are there. prior to dorian’s return, the vast majority of fan content that detailed his return made him into the de facto therapist for bell’s hells. because obviously dorian wasn’t going through anything himself with the solstice, magic backfiring, and opal being corrupted! he’d be happy to be nothing more than a shoulder to cry on without any traumas or tribulations of his own to worry about! they all got solved and dealt with offscreen, honest. and after his return, people who were either on the fence about him or disliked him entirely began to come around once he positively interacted with and bonded with the other white characters they liked.

the complaint of “i dislike that dorian is never allowed to exist outside of his friends” gets misinterpreted as “it’s out of character for dorian to care so much about his friends” either by well-meaning or willful ignorance, but at the end of the day, it’s ignorance either way. this would be different if he was an npc, but he has hours of content that doesn’t focus solely on his relationships with other people. yes, it is a massive part of his characterization that he will do anything for his loved ones, but why are we focusing on them and not him?

then again, maybe fandom shouldn’t focus on other parts of his backstory.

any mention of the silken squall that isn’t reskinning it to be a generic fantasy keep tends to make it a living hell. sure, the bits and pieces we’ve heard from it make it extremely clear they’re unhealthily secretive, strict, and a bit full of themselves, but it’s not as if they’re evil aristocrats that kick puppies for fun. the tale of a young man that’s going against tradition is hardly one that belongs to a single culture, but i’ve found people find it the most digestible when they strip it of all nuances. it’s the “no, dad, i’m my own man! individualism for life, baby!” power fantasy everyone’s always dreamed of where you can up and leave a situation and leave everything you’ve ever known behind.

so the silken squall is just homophobic, transphobic, and fantasy racist. dorian should completely abandon it and all its ways to go off gallivanting with the hells in perpetuity, which is the correct option. never mind that matt himself said that lgbtphobia in exandria is not the same or is far less common than it is in our world. never mind that in the previous campaign there was a massive story hook about prejudice and xenophobia that humans enacted on species they viewed as “monsters”. because why should the silken squall be anything more than a hive of bigotry and cruelty with no grey areas? everyone knows every flying city in exandria was pure evil and should be nuked from orbit! it’s true, brennan lee mulligan told me so!

i suppose i was wrong for expecting better. if two disney films meant to sell dolls to little girls that more or less looked directly into the camera and said “sometimes people do bad stuff because they were hurt real bad in the past, but that doesn’t make them bad people! racism is still gross!” could both get misinterpreted with zero nuance as being about an abusive matriarch forcing her family into impossible perfection, then i should’ve figured that people would do the same with a piece of adult media.

SHIPPING CONTENT

let’s finally get this out of the way. there is a very intentional reason i’ve been dancing around the subject of shipping with dorian.

i do not have anything against dorym as a ship. i do think that they like each other! they’ve got a lot of really sweet moments together! they just have a lot of personal things they have to work through to get there.

to say that it’s forced, or they’re “trying too hard” to make it seem like they’re about to confess their mutual love, or has had zero buildup can feel at times like a “gotcha” to mock its fans for being pushy. they’re both clearly trying to get back into the swing of things now that robbie’s returned and they can move forward with developing their relationship. i wouldn’t be surprised if it’ll be like late game beauyasha, which had a similar problem with not having a lot of content for it due to one member of the ship being absent from the table because scheduling despite being beloved by fandom until we got into the mid-100s.

that all being said, there is a tendency for dorian to be treated poorly in the ship by the shippers. all my complaints about it hinge solely on the fans. now, i don’t think all dorym fans are like this; i would be making the same complaints if dorian/laudna, dorian/imogen, fearne/dorian, doomstorm, or greystorm shippers did this as well. but since dorym is the most popular out of all of them, i will be discussing it primarily.

small mercies that dorian’s coding is largely ignored because that means nobody's making pocahontas aus with the dorym ship. (and if they are, please don’t tell me. we know its racist. you don’t need to show it to me to confirm that it is, indeed, racist. i don’t frequent ao3 for a reason). even without that, dorym still falls victim to the ship dynamic of the delicate white person and the strong person of color.

i’m already uncomfortable with how orym’s trauma is viewed by a vast majority of the fandom, but adding in the “dorian has no feelings outside his own and is only a machine to deposit in trauma coins until sex comes out” situation i described earlier, it gets bad really quick. often times dorian’s whole worldview is warped to focus only on orym and orym’s feelings. he certainly trusts and looks to him as a leader, but the constant insistence that orym is the only thing that matters in his life, orym is the only person he would trust unconditionally, orym is the only one he would ever truly be in love with, he must be the one to fix orym’s trauma and make him whole with no work from orym’s side at all and orym orym orym orym orym-

yeah it’s bad.

and now we come to braius doomseed, the newest bull on the block. sam riegel introduced his new character as an over-comedic flirt who went after everybody with a pulse... and laudna! provided you’re able to take a joke, a lot of people had fun cracking remarks about how braius confirmed that bell’s hells were just another basement away from having a real orgy instead of a fake. but then there were those who did not like the joke, and by that i mean, people who genuinely wished death upon sam, braius and the shippers ironic and genuine for daring to get in the way of dorym. because dorian is orym’s man, not braius’ man!

do i really need to say why it’s wrong to say or imply a white person owns a person of color? do you need an explanation for that? it’s bad! very bad!

i must reiterate: i don’t think every single dorym shipper acts like this or has never spoken out about this trend. i follow a good number of people that like the ship and a lot of them have no problem with shipping them with other people and treating them as their own characters on equal footing. it’s okay to like the ship and it’s okay to not like the ship.

or if you don’t like the ship, you could always make nazi jokes.

would you believe that this post actually made me want to make this one? there is a score of perfectly good reasons to dislike dorym as a ship as stated previously, but you made a joke about how a white guy is getting denied of his rightful claim to a relationship by a native guy? i take it back, maybe people do need things explained to them. you certainly don’t see laura/marisha pc shippers speak about aabria or erika this way.

speaking of, that makes for a terrific segue!

imodna tends to be bashed by both ashrym and dorym shippers in equal measures, partially due to misogyny and lesbophobia usually rampant in m/m shipping spaces, and partially because people still have lingering wounds from entitled beaujes shippers from campaign two. i think it’s safe to assume that a vast swath of the holdover from campaign two abandoned ship (heh) following episode 34, as that’s when i remember seeing a lot of angry imodna shippers complaining about how orym should have died instead of laudna and ragequitting the campaign. but what does this have to do with dorian, you ask?

well, i haven’t seen any fanfiction or aus where dorian is laudna’s abusive boyfriend that imogen must save with her sapphic mind powers (again, if it does exist, keep that shit to yourself because we know it’s racist) but i have seen some imodna fans utterly despise orym and anything that has to do with him. and if they hate anything that has to do with him, that includes dorian.

most of the “dorian is a useless character that doesn’t need to exist/only exists for crazy fangirls/should die offscreen” comments as stated all the way back there come from imodna shippers sniping back at a lot of the people being crappy about their ship. or in fanfic/fanart they’ll overemphasize his snottier or selfish aspects or make him out to be an impulsive dimwit as a “joke.” long story short, they aim at the white guy and dorian gets gored with the shrapnel.

SO NOW WHAT?

i think it’s pretty obvious where to go from here. do better. watch exandria unlimited and exandria unlimited kymal! acknowledge the story that robbie is trying to tell.  be respectful and ask questions if people are willing to give answers. and if you don’t find dorian enjoyable or interesting as a character, think about why you don’t and ask yourself if you’d extend that same indifference to a white character. it’s not that hard to simply say that a ship or a character just isn’t your thing without being bigoted about it!

hopefully this post helped people see things they may have overlooked in their analyses of dorian and thanks to @bam-monsterhospital, @fear-ne and a bunch of anons for adding their input!

[wingdingery]

ohhhh i always have requests! quite fond of lil drabble ideas: bruce teaching dick to dance and (years later when they’re together) they recreating some of their first dances, slade being the one to gift dick his first leather jacket that he still regularly wears, An Event Occurs and in the aftermath dick realizes how irreplaceable he is to bruce and just how much bruce both loves him and needs him, bruce and dick’s undercover aliases that keep getting more and more romantic over the years

In Dick’s experience, returning to his apartment after a week away and finding a mysterious box on the coffee table that was definitely not there when he left is, usually, not actually a big deal.

He’s still careful—the little Batman that lives in the back of his head would never give him a moment of peace if he wasn’t—but he’s just very aware of the fact that, nine times out of ten, the not-so-little Batman is the one breaking in and leaving little treats for him to find later, because Bruce is deathly allergic to seeing people’s reactions to his gifts in real-time.

Dick runs through the standard checks, but nothing sounds or smells off, and nothing pings as suspicious on infrared or the particulate detector. He steps closer to inspect the box. It’s rectangular, all white, and generally unremarkable except for the fact that he didn’t put it there.

Carefully, he lifts the lid. He’s expecting some kind of gear—it wouldn’t be the first time a new suit or toys showed up unannounced.

What he finds is a leather moto jacket.

He gently lifts it out of the box and stares at it, bemused. It’s very nice—genuine Italian leather by the feel of it, black with silver hardware and diagonal pockets in the shape of a V, and just his size. There’s no note of any kind, but when he sniffs the leather, he also gets a whiff of maple and gun oil—and that feels like a signature in and of itself.

Dick pulls out his phone, dials in the number from memory, and sinks into the couch as it rings. 

“Happy birthday,” Slade says when he picks up, voice low and rumbling.

Dick suppresses a smile. “You’re late.”

“I was busy.”

“Doing what?”

“You really wanna know the answer to that?”

Dick bites the inside of his cheek and fiddles with the zipper of the jacket. They’ve been getting along all right ever since they’d been forced to team up on the cruise ship from hell, but still, a little plausible deniability goes a long way, between them. “How long ‘til I find out on my own?”

“Now that depends,” Slade says, drawing out the words. “You still talking to Rose?”

Dick blinks. “You were visiting Rose?”

“Something like that.”

“She shut the door in your face,” Dick guesses.

Slade grunts. “We can meet not at her apartment.”

“And she’s moving?”

“And she’s moving.” Slade doesn’t sound particularly annoyed about it, but then again, finding people who don’t want to be found is basically his job. Dick makes a mental note to see if Rose wants a hand making her dad’s life harder.

“So why the jacket?” Dick says, running his hand over the leather. It really is nice. He wonders where Slade got it, and whether it was paid for in money or blood. He probably doesn’t want to know.

“You complained I made you ruin yours,” Slade says. “Reckon we’re square now.”

Dick raises his eyebrows, even though Slade can’t see it. “I don’t remember doing that, but if I did, it had to have been, what… seven years ago? At least?”

“I’ve got a long memory.” It sounds vaguely like a threat, in Slade’s voice, but the jacket itself seems far from one, so Dick lets it pass.

“If you’re trying to make up for that,” Dick says, “then you’re really late.”

“You’d’ve thrown it straight in the trash if I ever tried before.”

“I could still do that.”

“You won’t.”

“Well, now I have to.”

Slade scoffs. “Go ahead. Would be a waste of perfectly good leather, though.”

The desire for knowledge wins out. “Where’d you get it?”

“Made it.”

Dick pauses, uncertain he’d heard correctly. When Slade doesn’t elaborate, though, Dick echoes, uncertainly, “Made it?”

“Wintergreen helped some.”

Dick opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. Made it?

“Who exactly did you think made my first few costumes?” Slade says, sounding amused. “Not all of us have your daddy’s resources.”

It’s one thing for Slade to have bought him something; Dick can explain that away as just a whim—an act of opportunity, as it were. But Slade spending the time and energy to make it himself?

That’s premeditation.

“This isn’t a birthday gift.”

“I said happy birthday, didn’t I?”

“This isn’t just a birthday gift,” Dick presses.

Slade doesn’t respond, and Dick lets the silence stretch far past the point of discomfort. Still, neither of them hangs up. Slade may be a stubborn asshole, but Dick has been trained in the art of silence-offs by the most frustratingly stoic of them all.

Dick smooths out the collar of the jacket and straightens out the arms while he waits. Now that he’s looking closer, he can tell the seams aren’t the tidy stitches of a lifelong craftsman, but it’s impressive work, all the same. Work that must have taken a hell of a lot of effort. 

Finally, Slade breaks the rhythm of quiet breathing. “Whatever it is,” he says, “it’s yours now. Throw it in the trash if you want. Or don’t. It’s got nothing to do with me.”

It has everything to do with Slade, but the fact that Slade is insisting so hard that it doesn’t is both a little funny and extremely sad. Dick can recognize a fear of rejection when he hears it. 

Dick puts a hand on top of the jacket. “It doesn’t really make sense to give me this,” he says, “if you’re never going to see me wear it.”

Slade is silent for a moment, but not as long as before. “I’ve got time,” he says, slowly, like he’s leaving space for Dick to cut him off between one word and the next. “Two weeks from now.”

“Two weeks,” Dick agrees. “I assume you don’t need the address.”

“Think I’ve got it.” Slade’s voice is dry, but lacking its usual knife-sharp edge. “See you soon, kid.”

He hangs up before Dick can respond. 

Dick smiles anyway. “See you soon.”

----

Footnote: RIP Dick's expensive jacket (this is $300 in 80s money)

[mordeiswrld]

hello! sorry to bother but could you maybe do crimson knolastname (helluva boss) x reader hcs?

OFC!

Requested?: Yes

Fic Type: HCs

Time Started: April 21, 8:56 PM

Character: Vrimson Knowlastname x GN!Reader

Admin: L

Crimson looks like the type that’ll either try to hide or try to let you help with his mafia work, depends on your personality like if you’re shy and quiet he won’t tell you anything and keep his personal life and business life seperate but lets say you’re hot-headed and don’t mind getting your hands dirty (i mean you’re in hell, not much stopping you) then he’ll maybe start to try and get you to do things for him (if you want to of course. He may be a hardass mafia boss but he knows when and when to push things, well he does now at least)

Will bring you to expensive restaurants and get VIP sections since he’s trying all over again (RIP Mrs.Knowlastname) he’s taking his time with you while also trying to get a feel of how to have a healthy relationship

Meeting Moxxie is most likely gonna be a no-go since he has a one-sides rivalry with him

He’s only soft with you. Since he has a hard time being nice and gentle it’s gonna take him a while to get to this stage but once you break down the walls he put up best believe he’ll try his very best to treat you right even if it’ll take some practice

Touch starved like a mf. He’s never been used to physical affection so that’s also something he’ll have to get used to. Just slowly try to ease him into it and he’ll slowly start to appreciate it. But do it in private since he has a reputation to uphold.

Kisses with Crimson vary. It coukd go from an innocent peck to a full blown makeout in like 2 secs depending on how long you two have been together. He knows when and where things should be getting steamy and when to keep it low profile

Hugs are something he cherishes from you since he’s always busy and his family has been shredded to bits so he’ll make the most of it with you

Cuddles after work? Immaculate. He’s old and there isn’t much he can or wants to do in the house so cuddles are the next best thing but like everything else you have to ease him into it

This man is almost like the embodiment of toxic (Chaz Thurman ties with him on somethings) but he’s in it for the long run all you gotta do is hang in there

He doesn’t get jealous as much as you’d think he would. Like yes he’s self-confidence in relationships has depleted since his old one ended miserably but it’s not so low that he gets jealous over every male that looks your way. But if he does get jealous he’ll just send one of his henchmen to handle his dirty work for him

Dates arent that frequent since he's almost always busy but when they happen they are always well put together and well thought out

Big spoons all the way, but on occasion he’ll let you hold him but only when he’s too tired to move from whatever position he’s in

Def the type that back hugs you and sometimes even picks you up from behind just to scare you. He won’t scare you too bad but there will be times where he just wants to fuck with you

Loves giving forehead, hand, wrist, up the arm, thigh, etc kisses since hes’s ✨ Romantical ✨ like that

He smiles a lot more around you. A genuine smile not the kind he gave Millie when they met

Stares. A lot. He can’t even figure out why you’d wanna be with him, whether or not you know about his past or not he just can’t piece together how he managed to date someone like you

Always attends to your needs. He may act as if he’s annoyed by it and will call you “needy” he’ll either have his guards do it or he’ll do it himself. He’ll complain but he won’t ever leave you unsatisfied

Spoils you. Want that laptop? Already shipped to the house. Want a new car? Already in the garage. Want some kind of drug? Got the best of the best just for his partner.

Nicknames really depend. He may base it off how you act or how you look. But Sugar, sweetcheeks, sweetheart, love, darling, and hot stuff will be his go to’s

A/N: sorry its so short and terribly written...had a hard time thinking of things and honestly i have brain fog so i can’t really think fr and also SEVERELY unmotivatet but Ill redo it and or add some things in the future but enjoy!

Finished: April 26, 9:42 AM

[i-hug-exploder-shanks]

Time is a Broken Mirror

Chapter 1 now up!

What would a Warmind wish for if he had the chance?

Resurrected as a Guardian, Rasputin ends up in the clutches of an Ahamkara before his first day is up.

His wish brings him back in time to face himself in a chance to fix his biggest regret but before he's ready to do that he first has to convince the Iron Lords to train him while racing the clock to get good enough before they leave to try to take SIVA from Site 6.

“I am not certain that I enjoy being an Exo more than being an AI locked in a bunker. The feeling of cold is very unpleasant. Can’t I have the option to turn it off?” A tall matte white exo complained as he hiked up the side of a mountain, heavy winter coat pulled tightly around him.

The ghost that was tucked into the hood of the coat grunted “I can’t turn you off when you annoy me. Deal with it. Part of being a person now Red,” and snuggled further into the coat. The Exo rolled his eyes but allowed the comment that might have at one point earned someone a great deal of pain.

“I do not think this is what Ana envisioned when she started playing music for me all those years ago. It certainly wasn’t something I ever calculated in any possible future,” He kept talking, mostly to distract himself from the blizzard they were fighting to get to the top. This would have been easier if he had stolen a ship.

“Never met her but from what I heard through the ghost rumor mill, which is very extensive, she would have flipped her lid if she had seen you. It’s probably for the best that dragon got to us first,” the ghost said basking in the heat being vented by the Exo with every breath.

“Perhaps. I doubt things will go better once we arrive if they realize who I am,” the new guardian sighed but he couldn’t fix things if they didn’t know he was attempting to do the fixing. He would have to reveal himself eventually and lying before that wouldn’t look good. He wasn’t sure what the best choice was and he didn’t have the same room in this mind for advanced calculations to try to compare both the way he could have before.

“Look, I’m just saying, we shouldn’t go in guns blazing on this one. You can be Red for a little while. Prove yourself. Make friends. Then let it come out after some time, once they like you more. Felwinter is a ghost killer. You have hunted him for years. I’d like to live a little longer, thank you very much,” The ghost grumbled and Red sighed.

“You’re right. I just… I need to learn all I can. This time’s me is less than pleased I accessed that bunker but I managed to disable his tracking on me and Siddar- Felwinter. Unless we access the panels or directly mark ourselves, Rasputin shouldn’t be able to find us.” He said feeling a little odd talking about himself when he was right there.

“And even if he does, you were able to gain control over some of the combat frames that tried to attack us. But I doubt a mental tug-o-war would go over well for long, you have the smaller brain now,” the ghost added oh so helpfully.

“I need to gain access to the seraph bunkers. If I can change the passcodes and take control it will limit his power so if- when- it comes to it, I can take control of the SIVA and prevent the carnage I once caused. But as I am now… I am, what did the Guardian call it? A new light? I do not know how best to control my body or abilities. So first we petition the Iron Lords and gain knowledge and skill, then we take control of the bunkers and weaken this time’s Rasputin, and finally I take control of the SIVA nanites and use them to help protect humanity like was originally intended by destroying the warsats and the other me completely. Remove myself from Xivu Arath’s sights before she even arrives,” He listed out the plan he had come up with once he realized where and when he was.

“Sounds so simple when you put it that way. Turn up here, you can’t see it in the storm but we’re approaching a watchtower. We should as for help to the Temple. I’ll say hidden.” The ghost said then vanished. Red vented out a huff of steam but dutifully went in the direction his ghost told him trusting the bot. He had seen though Felwinter’s memories how much Felspring had come to mean to him and he saw how Osiris had used to be with Sagira and how much he missed the ghost so he while they might not always agree, he was making an effort to trust and listen to the little drone.

“Who are you and what do you want?” A familiar voice startled Red and he was surprised to see Osiris float down in front of him, snow melting around the warlock’s slippered feet making Red sigh in jealousy of how warm he must be.

“My name is Red, I’m looking to petition the Iron Lords but currently I just want to get out of this blizzard.” He admitted honestly.

Osiris narrowed hs eyes but hummed, “Very well. I will escort you inside. This way,” He said and started down a path that was hard to make out as the wind shifted and picked up in intensity. Cold was starting to be his least favorite feeling so far.

Thankfully it only took a few more minutes before a pair of grand doors were swinging open to allow them both entry and Red sighed in relief at the warmth as he looked around curiously. He had seen the place through the scattered memories that he gained of Felwinter’s but it was different to see with his own eyes and he had to admit he was impressed.

Students milled about chatting with their peers, ghosts occasionally zipping past or hovering near their partners chatting with other ghosts. It felt like the place of learning it was meant to be and had a warm friendly feeling to it. Looking through some arches they passed he jumped a little at a huge wave of solar energy that was blasted through the courtyard followed sharp stinging arc energy along the ground and a orb of void humming through the air. Osiris thankfully slowed to let him watch the show.

“That’s just new lights, testing their limits. If you think that’s impressive wait until you see someone with experience take the field,” Osiris scoffed and Red did his best to hide the way his face twitched wanting to shift toward a smile. Some things were eternal it seemed, like Osiris’ ego.

“I’m guessing you are not a new light?” He asked and Osiris grinned at him, eyes taking on a gold sheen.

“I am not, although I am not an Iron Lord either. I am training under Lord Felwinter. We will see if any of the Iron Lords accept you as a student. I have to admit, Exos are not common around here. There’s only a handful I’ve seen besides Lord Felwinter himself. Where were you raised?” He asked tilting his head before starting to walk again and Rasputin considered the question. The less he lied the better.

“I will tell you if you spar with me and win. If I win, then you will not complain if I petition Lord Felwinter to train me too.” He bargained while his ghost screamed at him internally. He was protected here by the Iron Decree unless he did something to break it himself.

Osiris grinned at him with teeth. “Counter offer, I get to ask you any questions I want for five minutes if I win and you must answer truthfully.” He said and Red nodded holding out his hand.

“Deal.” He agreed and Osiris shook it before marching out onto the field.

“CLEAR OUT! I NEED SPACE!” He shouted and the new lights fled like a flock of birds away from a rabid dog. Red dutifully followed him out and stood on the opposite side of the field. His main advantage was experience watching a much older, wiser Osiris fight as well as his Exo body being more durable than Osiris’ softer human body.

“You are an idiot! He’s going to wipe you off the face of the earth while cackling manically!” his ghost hissed at him mentally.

“Be quiet, I need to focus.” He said and drew on Felwinter’s memories that he had retained as Osiris finally finished clearing the field and took his place. The Warlock immediately set himself ablaze and launched himself up into the air to rain fire down over Red who didn’t bother trying to dodge knowing it would be useless. Instead he drew the void around him like a protective cloak and let the fire fizz off of it causing the field to fill with steam and smoke.

When Osiris touched back down with a smirk that suggested he thought he already won, Red jumped and slammed down on him with all the force of a falling warsat crushing him like a little bug. Stepping back as Sagira appeared Red looked at his hands and the blood coating it with a sick feeling in his stomach. That was something he was definitely going to have to get over if he planned on fighting. He couldn’t get queasy over blood, especially blood that didn’t matter since Osiris was already brought back and grumbling at the cheering crowds around the field they were in.

“Best of three?” Red offered and Osiris snorted.

“Another time. I should have known better than to get cocky but I won’t make that mistake again. However, I am a man of my word. Come, I will take you to Lord Felwinter and let him decide whether or not to take you on,” He said and Red huffed realizing Osiris planned to take him covered in blood looking like some sort of barbarian. The Warlock was clever but so was Red.

With a shimmer of light his ghost changed out his gear and cleaned him up. He would be colder in the more simple clothing if he had to go outside but while in the temple it would at least keep him from looking a mess. Osiris tilted his head slightly clearly not expecting him to have had a change of clothes already.

“You’re oddly prepared for a new light.” Osiris said and Red shrugged.

“It took a while to get here and I wasn’t going to stay in filthy clothes the whole time. Plus as soon as I woke up some asshole started attacking me. You get good at protecting yourself when you have no other choice,” He said mostly because it made his ghost snicker internally at both hearing him cuss and insulting himself.

“And you won’t tell me where you were brought back or who attacked you?” He asked and Red shrugged.

“I never said that, but I’m not telling the story twice in the same day and I figure the Iron Lords would like to hear it.” He said and Osiris looked back at him with a considering glint in his eyes.

“Very well, wait here. I will go in and see if the Iron Lords can see you.” He said and slipped into a door. Red wanted to peek inside and try to hear what was said but he resisted the urge and folded his arms over his chest.

After a few minutes Osiris stepped out and held the door open waving him inside. Red let his eyes trace over the group gathered there picking out the Iron Lords he recognized. Saladin, Radegast, Perun, Skorri, Jolder and Felwinter were all there at moment with others he didn’t immediately recognize. He heard Jolder gasp when his eyes met hers and forced himself not to grimace and instead bow slightly.

“Hello, I am Red. I have come here to petition the Iron Lords for the chance to train here. I first woke up in a bunker of some sort and was attacked immediately upon waking by what I have come to know to be called combat frames. I managed to get to an adjoining room and lock them out using a console where my ghost managed to download some data before we escaped. We’ve been on the run since. I want to learn to defend myself and I would like to learn more about the bunkers. I heard rumors that there would be someone here that might be able to help me.” He said carefully letting his gaze flicker between the different Iron Lords before falling on Felwinter to try to judge his son’s reaction.

“Felwinter, look! You have a little brother! He’s got the same menacing glare you do!” Came a voice from the side that made Red jump and jerk his head to the side as Timur sauntered over to him grinning. His first instinct was to back up but that caused him to bump into Osiris who grabbed his arm in what could have been a friendly manner but Red knew was Osiris trapping him so he couldn’t escape Lord Timur who immediately started poking and prodding at his face. Red shoved down the urge to bite the eccentric warlock.

“Lord Timur, leave him alone. He’s debating biting you.” Felwinter said and Red looked at him startled worried maybe they had some sort of mental connection and Felwinter could read his thoughts.

“I can’t read your thoughts but I can read your face and I know what I would be debating doing in your place.” Felwiner said and Red half shuttered his eyes in a suspicious squint that had Timur laughing and even Osiris had an amused quirk to his lips.

“I will train you. Osiris can you find him a room near my observatory?” He asked and Osiris tilted his head in a slight bow.

“Of course.” He agreed and dragged Red out with him right as the arguing started. He let himself get dragged for a while before digging in his heels and jerking Osiris to a stop.

“Are you upset that he actually agreed to train me? I do not wish to cause strife.” He asked seriously and Osiris opened his mouth then shut it seeming to think about the answer.

“It will mean less time for me to spend with him which is something I enjoy but no. I am not upset he is going to train you. I am actually relieved. As much as I’d like to think I share much in common with him, there are definitely things that so far he has been alone in. I hope you can offer him a companion in ways that those of us not made of metal and synthskin can’t.” He told him after a moment and Red was surprised by the show of sincerity.

“I will endeavor to be both a good student and help how I can. I would like to have friends.” He said and Osiris nodded.

“Well be careful who you choose for that. As much as we might wish otherwise, the Iron Temple is filled with politics and you haven’t signed onto the popular side of things. Come on, we need to get you some toiletries and bedding from the quartermaster then I’ll show you the options for rooms.” He said and Red relaxed a little glad he hadn’t pissed the Phoenix of the Dark Ages off already. He was sure there would be time for that later. 

[wreckerslula99]

your touch (love) warms my body (soul)

PART ONE: PRE-ORDER 66

Summary: During a snowstorm on a foreign planet, the Bad Batch are trying to sleep inside their ship, the Marauder. Someone bitches a little too much. Enter: Wrecker and his insane natural body heat and love for cuddles. AKA: The Bad Batch cuddle because it's cold.

Word count: 1,814 words

Author's note: There will be a second part to this post order 66 where Omega is included instead of Crosshair! (No beta we die like the Republic)

Part Two

This is also available on AO3 here.

On several occasions, the Marauder has been put through inhumane temperatures. Sometimes the Bad Batch will be on a hot planet and the ventilation will break, or be turned off by Tech to “save power”. This is often followed by a bout of groans and complaints from his brothers, mainly Wrecker. Other times, they will land on planets so cold that it seeps into the ship. It’s easy for the ship to stay warm when flying through space, but when powered down and stagnant, not so much.

Usually, when this happens, Crosshair is the first to complain. Which is exactly what is happening right now. 

They had been on the planet of Kijimi for 10 rotations and luck had been on their side regarding the weather. Until now. Only a few hours before dark, a snowstorm had started building and by the time it was nightfall, it had reached their area. It wasn’t dangerous, but it was cold enough to the point where the small heater they brought for emergencies wasn’t enough. And Crosshair was never one to be silent when something bothered him. Even if his complaints were involuntary and in the form of shivers, teeth clacking together and small grunts of displeasure. 

“Crosshair, are you really freezing that much?” Hunter asks, his tone obviously annoyed as he turns around in his bunk yet again, unable to find a comfortable position with how cold he was. 

“Shut up,” Crosshair growls, but with his incessant shivering, it really didn’t pack the same punch it usually did. 

“Brother, if you’re really freezing that much, I suggest you put on some more clothes and get out the heater,” Tech says from where he is sitting against the wall in his bunk, wrapped up in his blanket and with his datapad in his hands. 

“Heater’s broken,” Wrecker pipes up, his voice rumbling with guilt. 

“Perfect,” Crosshair hisses, turning over in his bunk yet again to face the wall, his figure still visibly shaking underneath his blanket. 

“It wasn’t my fault! I didn’t mean to sit on it,” Wrecker whines. 

Out of all of them, Wrecker was the only one who was never cold in these situations. Sure, he felt the cold, but his body was always warm. Teach theorized it could be a by-product of Wrecker’s specific genetic enhancement. Remembering this fact only pissed Crosshair off even more. He wasn’t actually mad, of course. He was just cold and tired. 

Hunter sighs. “We’ll get a new one next time we’re in town.”

“Assuming we survive the cold,” Crosshair grits out sarcastically. “And each other.”

“Wait, what do you mean by that? What does he mean by that, Hunter?!” Wrecker sits up in his bunk, letting out a small yelp followed by a groan when he hits his head. 

He brings a hand up to rub at the sore spot on his head and Crosshair lets out a small, devious chuckle. “Serves you right, you big oaf.”

“Hey! You know I feel bad about not fitting into spaces where everyone else does…” Wrecker exclaims, but the soft sadness in his voice gives away that he was genuinely hurt by his brother’s comment. 

“Oh, come on, Wrecker. Don’t always take everything so seriously,” Crosshair rolls his eyes. 

“Will you stop?” Hunter finally interrupts. “We’ve got a long day ahead of us tomorrow, and I’ll be damned if I let you two make this into a long night! So zip it, chill out, stop complaining and go to sleep.”

A few seconds of silence pass before Wrecker speaks up again, his voice small and timid, his pout evident in his tone. “Hunter, my head really hurts.”

Hunter lets out a sigh mixed with a groan, running a hand through his long hair and sliding it down his face. The tip of his nose feels awfully cold to his touch and he tries to figure out how to help his brothers. 

“Wrecker, you’ll be fine. It didn’t sound like you hit your head that hard,” Tech states matter of factly. “Besides, there’s hardly anything that could happen either way. You seem to be better protected against injuries than any of us.”

“Okay…” Wrecker accepts this, nodding along while Tech is talking, even though they couldn’t see each other. 

“Stop talking,” Crosshair seethes, perhaps more from the cold than the annoyance he felt. 

“Oh, come on, Crossie! If you can’t sleep because it’s cold, then it doesn’t matter if we talk!” Wrecker argues, clutching his Lula tightly in his hands. 

“Oh, come on, Wrecker!” Hunter lets out an exasperated groan. 

“Echo, you’re awfully quiet, don’t you have something annoying to say as well?” Crosshair says instead of responding to Wrecker, completely ignoring Hunter as well. 

“No,” Echo’s voice is small and shaky, coming as a big surprise to everyone. 

“Echo? You okay?” Wrecker called out. 

“I’m fine, just c-cold…” he responds. 

“It’s most likely all the metal that is attached to his body that is making it harder for him to stay warm, as metal becomes cold quickly in cold temperatures, just the same as it becomes hot in warmer temperatures, because-”

“Tech, shut up,” Crosshair says sharply. 

“Oh… you’re cold because you’re a little bit of a droid?” Wrecker asks and before Tech can speak up to correct his phrasing, Echo bursts out. 

“I’m not a droid! Droids don’t kriffin’ freeze, do they?!” 

Silence falls upon them. Even though he hasn’t been with them for very long, they’re all well aware of how Echo feels regarding his current anatomy given to him by the separatists. The silence goes on for a little too long, to the point where Hunter thinks he’s about to be able to fall asleep until Wrecker speaks up again, his rough voice breaking through the silence with ease. 

“I’m pretty warm,” he says, more like a discovery than a fact. 

“Oh, would you two just cuddle up together and be quiet?” Crosshair exclaims, still sounding very cold. 

Silence falls over them again, until there is shuffling and the sound of a blanket moving coming from Wrecker’s bunk. Next there are steps heard as he stomps around the room. Hunter rolls his eyes and puts his hand over his face. 

“Wrecker, what are you-,” a small yelp is heard and it’s definitely Echo. 

To everyone’s surprise, more stomping is heard and a small light is turned on right by Crosshair’s bunk. 

“Turn it off, Wrecker. I’m not joking, I’m gonna-,” Crosshair is interrupted by being pushed against the wall of his bunk by a large, warm body. 

Wrecker. With his Lula right in Crosshair’s face. 

“Sorry, Crossie, I didn’t mean to push ‘ya,” Wrecker says apologetically as he settles into the bunk of his grumpy brother. 

“What are you doing? Get out of my bunk!” Crosshair starts complaining as he wriggles slightly so he is able to turn and look at Wrecker. 

Much to his surprise, lying half on top of his giant brother is Echo, who sends him an apologetic, but also confused and relieved smile. 

“I said go cuddle each other, not me!” Crosshair continues to complain, even though the warmth radiating off his brother was very tempting to fall into. “Echo, move your karking metal leg off my ankle!”

“Sorry,” Echo says, still fairly new to the team and their dynamic as he tries to shift in his place. 

“Wrecker, you’re pushing me against the wall,” Crosshair continues complaining, although rather half-heartedly since he’s starting to warm up. 

“Oh, for the love of…,” Hunter mumbles, throwing his blanket off of himself, grabbing it and scooting over to the ladder to climb down from his bunk. 

He walks over to Crosshair’s bunk with his blanket wrapped around himself, thinking that he would probably be laughing at the sight of his three brothers squeezed into the bunk if it wasn’t for how tired and annoyed he is. 

“Will you please be quiet?” He exclaims, staring them down

They were still trying to wriggle into a comfortable position and Hunter sighs before getting to work. He slaps Crosshair’s shoulder, who looks at him with narrowed eyes, but follows the movement of his hand anyway and sits up. Hunter orders Wrecker to move against the wall on his back, his legs away from the wall so Echo could lie on top of him and rest his metal legs in that empty space against the wall. Crosshair got put next to Wrecker on his side. 

“Happy?” Hunter asks, but it sounded as though he would lose it if anyone said no. 

The Sergeant then scoots in at the foot of the bunk, resting his legs on top of Wrecker’s underneath the blanket and pulling his own tighter around himself. There is a moment of silence in which Hunter contemplates getting up again to turn off the little light he accidentally left on, but decides it’s not worth the risk of stirring up his brothers again. 

“Tech?” Wrecker speaks up after a minute or so of silence and Hunter wants to slam his head against the wall behind him. “Aren’t you gonna join us?”

“No, I prefer to stay on my own where I have space to read through some more informational manuals,” he says from his bunk, where he is sitting with his datapad. 

“You can keep reading in the morning, Tech,” Hunter says. “Come on, you need your sleep. And I know you’re freezing too.”

“I’m just fine on my own, thank you very much,” Tech replies, pulling his knees closer to his chest underneath his blanket. 

“Liar,” Crosshair rolls his eyes. 

“Come on, Tech. You know it’s erm, scientifically illogical to stay on your own during these temperatures,” Hunter tries to play into his brother’s weaknesses: science and logic. 

“I don’t appreciate it when you pull that card,” Tech sighs and rolls his eyes, then starts trotting over to the rest of his brothers. 

He turns off the small lamp next to the bed and then settles in next to Hunter with his blanket still wrapped around himself. 

“Don’t you dare,” Crosshair threatens when Tech moved his legs half on top of his, which earns him a small kick from Hunter and Tech lets the full weight of his legs rest on Crosshair’s lower body. “I hope you know you won’t wake up in the morning.”

“Oh yeah? I hope you know if you don’t all settle down and shut up right now, none of you will make it ‘til morning,” Hunter growls. “Go to sleep.”

“Good night, guys,” Wrecker says only a few seconds later, groans and sighs erupting from all around the bunk

“Good night, Wrecker,” they all say in unison and then it’s silent for good. 

Slowly, Wrecker’s body heat warms the others enough for their bodies to relax and allow them to fall into a deep sleep, all huddled together in the little bunk. 

[halamet-chalamet]

Helloo!!! I saw you do the mgg/dpencer reid ship, and said Why not give it a go?

I am 5'3, short fluffy brunette hair kind of gal. My friends tell me my eyes are the "dead eye" shape. They are the color Green Tail btw.

I wouldn't say I am skinny, but I am in the middle, curvy maybe, but not skinny or mid-size.

I am an extrovert, always seeking for adventure and making new friends. I am loud and energetic most of the time. I can be very dramatic, but also fairly realistic. I am like the mom friend, always talking for others and taking care. I am sarcastic and try to put humor in things. Its just how I cope. I also have anxiety, but it is not that bad now, it used to eat me alive, but now it only catches me when there is something very stressful.

My hobbies are drawing and painting. Gifted child moment here. I also play the guitar and sing. Reading is also something I like to do.

But fairly, i HATE maths and physics, also the heat.

I adore animals, I havw a big ol cat myself. I like the rain, binge warching shows and definitely sleeping..

My mom would call my style sometimes boyish and sometimes classy. I love wearing baggy clothes but I also love wearing tight clothes. Bright colors ans mute colors..

Thats all ig, I hope you have a nice day and I send you all my ❤️

Thank you for sending me all your ❤️ I’m having a nice day :) you sound awesome by the way! I’m going to do you and Spence <3

Alright sis

You gotta drag Spence a little bit out of his comfort zone to do some adventurous things with you

Let’s be fair he is in the FBI and loves the adrenaline rush

But he’s also always on the lookout being really cautious

So you gotta help him be a tad more carefree to go on adventures with you!!!

When you and Spencer get together Morgan starts calling you both mom and dad

It’s clear you’re the mom friend which just makes Spencer honorary dad friend (besides Hotch ofc ofc)

It takes Spence a little while to get used to your sarcasm but he does eventually and you guys can go back and forth forever!

Especially after all our boys trauma he needs some coping humor

He’s so proud of you for overcoming some of your anxiety

You guys can help each other!

When you’re overly stressed he’ll do a great job of calming you and your anxieties down

And it goes the other way around

You sound super caring so I’m sure you would provide great comfort for Spence after a bad case or seeing/ thinking of his parents.

Art datessssss

He wants to paint with you

Man’s wants to draw with you

He’s better at drawing because his line work is really good :)

Wants to hear you sing and play guitar!!

Gives you books he wants you to read! And loves to see your monthly book picks!

Let’s be honest here

He doesn’t understand your hate for math

“It’s vital to our very existence!” Is what he likes to tell you when you complain about math (because math sucks)

He for real hits you with random math facts at some point just to see you get slightly annoyed. He thinks it’s cute

I stand by this next statement no matter what

SPENCER LOVES CATS

He is a cat person

Looooves them

He loves your cat!! And tries to pick it up and gives you cute cat facts! *cue awwww track*

Spencer will almost never pick a show unless it’s Star Trek or Dr Who

So he sits and binges with you whatever show you’re watching at the moment

He also analyzes the characters and can predict what’s going to happen sooo easy

But he doesn’t spoil it if you don’t want him to

He’s down for your eclectic fashion

And honestly always gets a little excited to see what you’re wearing this time

Sometimes he even tries to find an outfit to match the colors you’re wearing that day

Cute couples stuff I hope you enjoy <33 you sound like a fun person!!

[sickknotdoom]

Back again with petty bullshit to complain about, which doubles as a small commentary on the Sparklecare fandom as a whole.

I really, REALLY don’t like the Party/Uni ship. I don’t see what the point is in trying to ship a gay man with someone cannonically transfeminine. The hypocrisy is so annoying— people get all up in arms if someone calls Uni “he” once or legitimately doesn’t know that she’s transfem, but don’t give a shit when Party is canonically mlm and try to do all these mental gymnastics to make it okay??? Hell, at least with Carroom I can KINDA see where they’re coming from, what with Doom being intersex and Doomi being a thing, but I legitimately do not know what the fuss is about these two characters that haven’t even met each other.

I’d be less annoyed about the whole thing if a certain user (not naming names) wasn’t so vocal about the whole thing. They respond to kind anons with whole-ass essays, zero note posts with passive aggressive responses, and seem to get angry whenever someone expresses even the smallest bit of discomfort with the ship. I’m all for ship and let ship, but holy shit dude, not everyone is gonna agree with you. Just realize that already.

I’ve seen people in the Sparklecare fandom complain about their ships not being canon, and I’ve also seen Kittycorn reply to these people once the ship actually becomes canon. That’s not on Kittycorn, that’s on the fandom for acting entitled to Kneeby’s story when they’re not, but I’m worried that more vocal users are gonna be able to strong-arm kit into making their ships canon. Whether they work or not. I have this whole toxic positivity/only caring about shipping thing, and I wish people wouldn’t pester Kittycorn so much about their ships becoming canon.

(Again, this ain’t a critisism about Kittycorn herself, she’s the innocent party here— I’m annoyed at the fandom.)

Thanks for putting up with my rambling again man, you’re— as your banner indicates— a real one.

—Faerie Anon

i have a strong feeling i know who youre talking about and i agree. i know were only four volumes in but partys never been shown to interact with any (current) patients but barry so far.

despite kneebys consistent problem with faulty gay representation, i wont blame kit for this. the fandom complains when someone calls uni a "he" even once even though she uses any/all and merely has a "she" preference, and gets upset when people call barruni "gay" or "yaoi" as a joke as if every single reader is going to check the tumblr and scroll past a million reblogs of the same two cometcare drawings to find the single post explaining things (i know the cast page has it explicitly stated that unis closeted, but the buttons up top are easily ignorable once youve started reading), but then ships one of the few canonically gay male characters with her.

its hella hypocritical, i know that nonbinary is an umbrella term and all (im literally agender) but if the fandoms gonna be picky about minor things like that they should double down and ship things that conform to their pickiness. especially when, again, kneeby kitself has made posts complaining about people genuinely not knowing unis trans or that kit doesnt want people calling ships involving uni "yaoi" as a joke or whatever else.

[livvyofthelake]

package deal posting again i’ve got shit to say

1. still sleeping like shit. becoming overly familiar with my bedroom it’s like i’m 16 again but worse. 😐

2. there is. ok i’m about to sound mean just stay with me. there is a random person who every day has liked about five or so of my old merlin posts. and they are literally just. the most random posts most of them aren’t even tagged it’s like they just searched “merlin” on my blog and are liking whatever comes up. which i shouldn’t have to explain to you, can be ANYTHING. they liked a post about the timeless video. what? hello. what does the timeless video have to do with you… that post was about KIT and TY from CASSANDRA CLARE’S SHADOWHUNTER CHRONICLES. i promise you if you’re a fucking bbc merlin fan in the year 2024 you don’t even know them our interests are so unaligned what could that post possibly say to you… mind you. it was just a random post ABOUT the timeless video that i made while i was making it. it was not an actual good or informative post explaining the lore and backstory of the timeless video… anyway. like who is this guy and why are they doing this. not to be all why are you so obsessed with me but like fr. anyway. that’s just weird to me idk

3. movie february is lowkey flopping. i’m trying but goddamn

4. 3 was lowkey a lie. i am mid movie as we speak and i am enjoying it even, i’m just not really feeling the movie enjoyer spirit…

5. when i said captain america fans were misogyny apologists i meant that the only reason those guys are gay in your heads (sorry but your heads are the only place they’re gay. chris evans is not a good enough actor to give gay i’m sorry to that man. but you’re all delusional because something bad happened to you in middle school and i want you to know that) anyway the only reason for that is because the men who made that franchise don’t like women. they don’t like women!!!! they treated emily vancamp like shit and got away with it because you people cared more about gay shipping than female characters!! you let them get away with something evil and you didn’t even get anything out of it oh my god can you all just admit that? mcu: *puts emily vancamp in a movie as the hero’s new love interest* fandom: um actually i hated her because EYE think chris evans should be gay. mcu: oh ok so what we’re hearing is that we hate emily vancamp cool we’ll get rid of her! fandom: ok so the men i think are gay are gay now right? right? mcu: the 1950s actually were better than modern times we decided! back when women were oppressed but could vote so we were allowed to pretend they weren’t oppressed!!! oh my god anyway. i recognize the semi hypocritical nature of me complaining about having to see like seven captain america posts after the way i’ve been blogging for months. but what i do is different. ok. marvel is cringe it’s a boy interest its an incel interest. redacted is for the worst most annoying gay people on tiktok. there’s a difference and i get to read better fanfiction and all you guys have ever done is lose and i only win. peace and love

[mengy007]

The Wizard Lizard and the Royal Scarab. (Scaraman fic :D)

CH.1: It All Started With a Dance

(Notes: HOMOPHOBIA DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS FIC, anyone can date anyone due to magic and advanced technology, also this fic includes one of my friend’s OCs that they ship with scarab, @spamton-garfungle ‘s OC Lyman)

(This is mainly for them but feel free to read it too)

The ballroom was all in a buzz, everyone was chatting or eating something with their partners or friend groups for tonight was the night of the royal couple’s fourth anniversary. The two were famous in the kingdom but for very different reasons, Prince Prismo was very friendly and loved to talk amongst even common folk which gave him a very high popularity status, he was everybody’s pal Prismo. The king’s lover on the other hand, Sir Scarab was a quiet and more reserved ruler who tended to be unnecessarily rude at times, but was fair and just when it was important. The King was Orbo, Orbo had adopted Prismo as a sort-of son and hired Scarab as a bodyguard, the once lowly beetle had bested all of his classes, rose above all his peers, and even petitioned to the job. Prismo and Scarab winded up falling for each other and from there blossomed a romance.

Lately however, the two had found themselves bickering and having banters over things like dinner or who Prismo should and shouldn’t be hanging out with and it was tearing their relationship apart. Prismo had noticed this more than Scarab so he decided to make up a solution, and he planned to propose to Scarab this very night believing marriage would bring them closer together.

Prismo was talking to his friends about what he had planned, specifically a magician named Cosmos (who was Prismo’s advisor) and a few other folks. Scarab had been weaving his way through the crowd to try and find Prismo, the slow dance would be starting soon and he wanted to dance with his lover. Scrarab finally spotted that mass of pink curly hair on the balcony discussing something with Cosmos, he went over as his black dress trailed behind him.

Prismo heard footsteps approaching and made a small motion for Cosmos to shush about what they were just talking about, giggling like they were children. ‘So immature…’ Scarab thought, having second thoughts about dancing with Prismo. “Hey Scrabby, whats up!” Prismo greeted with a smile, “Prismo, I was wondering if we could perhaps dance?”

Well shit, Prismo actually didn’t know how to ballroom dance, and he certainly didn’t want to embarrass himself in front of everyone tripping over himself, so he hurried to make en excuse, “Erm, sorry Scrabs but I’m a bit busy with Cosmos at the moment, we’re discussing something real important” he said, feeling very guilty that he had denied his lover his dance. Scarab sighed, annoyed. “Alright then, I’ll be around if you change your mind” he spoke, leaving the two.

“Prismo are y-hoo crazy?!” Cosmos asked in a hushed tone, “Urrrrgggghhhh I know but I really cant dance man, and I didnt want to tell Scarab because if I did he’d be all like: ‘let me teach you’ or ‘It’s fine I’ll lead’ and all that jazz, and I’d be teased for weeks about how I keep stumbling over” Prismo complained, “S-hoot dude, are you like…sure you want to marry him?” Cosmos asked, leaning on the railing of the balcony, “I know we fight a lot and it looks bad but he’s really sweet when we’re alone…Cos I know what you’re thinking, wipe that smirk off your face” Prismo blushed, “When you two are alone, huh?” Cosmos asked smirking still, “Cosmos you know I didn’t mean that!” Prismo exclaimed, “You know, when me and Scarab are like, in a room together- glob dammit- uh- by ourselves-?”

Cosmos stopped him by putting his hand on Prismo’s shoulder, “Dude, I was joking.” He said, chucking a bit. “But really though, are you absolutely sure you want to marry him?” Cosmos asked, Prismo nodded, “Yes, Cos I am sure this is what I want. I’m going to propose to him tonight when the ball ends, plus the worst thing that could happen is that he just says no” he sighed at the thought, “But even if he does I’ll give him freedom to love whoever he wants, I love him…and I’ll let him go if I have to.”

“…Jeez man, that got dark really fast” Cosmos commented, looking concerned “You good?”

“I’m fine” Prismo sighed, “Just thinking about it kinda scares me.”

Meanwhile, Scarab was sitting at the bar in the back of the ballroom, he sighed and looked up at the clock, it was about 8:57 PM, the dance would start at 9 PM, he had really wanted to dance with Prismo but apparently Cosmos was more important. Eh, no point in getting petty about it, at least not now. Judging by the giggling when he came over it was most definitely not important.

Scarab was about to order himself a drink when he was approached by a stranger in a brown suit, the stranger sat next to him, “good evening, Sir Scarab” he greeted, Scarab glanced at them. Their most notable features were brown curly hair and red eyes, “good evening” Scarab responded, thinking nothing of it. “where is Prince Prismo? It’s almost time for the dance, shouldn’t he be dancing with you?” the stranger asked, “Prince Prismo is conversing with one of his friends at the moment, I have no dance partner” Scarab shrugged, “I see…could I possibly dance with you then?” The stranger asked, Scarab saw it as a silly request for someone to want to dance with him and not Prince Prismo, “I don’t even know your name” Scarab responded, “Ah, deepest apologies! I am Lyman the Wizard, pleasure to make your acquaintance” The stranger now known as Lyman introduced himself, “I got here from a friend of Prismo’s, they invited me, said there would be free food, so I came” Lyman shrugged, “Now that you know my name, would you like to dance?” He asked again, Scarab pondered it for a while, “…If I dance with someone other than Prince Prismo, others might begin to spread rumors” Scarab said, frowning at the idea, “Then how about we go somewhere more secluded? Like outside?” Lyman offered, “from what I’ve seen from the window, the castle’s garden is empty, and we can probably hear the music from there” he said, “And the guard is asleep in the shed” he added with a small chuckle, Scarab made a mental note to have a talk with that guard later, as that could’ve been very dangerous thing if someone broke in. “You are really persistent about this dance, hmm?” Scarab asked, looking at him, “Well, I really just want to dance with someone tonight, its a ball might as well dance a little” Lyman said, “And everyone else seems to have a dancing partner or just doesn’t want to dance”

“Besides, who would ever pass up the opportunity to dance with you?”

Scarab felt his face heat up at that comment, he thought about it for a few, then gave his answer: “Alright, let’s go”.

The two got up from their seats and went to the castle garden, it was a large space, about 1/4th of the ballroom and enough plants to keep them somewhat hidden from the ballroom window that peered over the garden, the plants that grew were mostly vines, flowers, and a large apple tree that was in the very middle. The garden was well-kept, one or two weeds every now and then but nothing else. The garden also had a small river with koi fish around the apple tree that essentially made it a small island, the only way to get across without getting wet was a wooden bridge that could comfortably fit two people side by side. Scarab always loved the garden, he always visited it at least once every day if he could. He’d remember Prismo often getting stuck in that tree trying to pick apples himself and they’d often banter about Prismo getting hurt.

The bell rang as the clock hit 9PM and after a few minutes, the music started up. Lyman extended his hand and folded the other behind his back, “shall we?” He asked, smiling. Scarab hesitated for a second, glanced at the ballroom window, then nodded. He took Lyman’s hand and Lyman pulled Scarab close, placing his left hand on Scarab’s hip while Scarab placed his right on Lyman’s shoulder, both of their free hands intertwined and they twirled around the garden as the music played from the ballroom.

This felt so wrong, yet it felt so right. they fit together perfectly like a complete puzzle. Scarab was graceful and moved with Lyman as he led the dance, the two seeming to move in sync and everything seemed perfect like this is where Scarab belonged. ‘No.’ Scarab reminded himself, ‘this is just a dance, nothing more.’

The music reached the climax and Lyman expertly dipped Scarab, “Where did you learn how to dance like this?” Scarab asked out of pure curiosity, “I used to take a class because I got bored” Lyman responded with a small shrug, Scarab nodded, taking note of that.

They danced for a few more minutes, and the song was almost over, they had managed to get across the bridge and dance around the apple tree, someone appeared by the window and Scarab was quick to notice, pulling Lyman behind the large apple tree with him, practically pinning him to the tree, “woah- hey did you trip or somethin-?”

“Hush”

Scarab peaked out to the window and saw a random partygoer, just taking a glance outside. Once they left Scarab released a breath he didn’t even know he had been holding, “that was close, I think we should head back now.” Scarab spoke, glancing at Lyman, “that would be a good idea” Lyman agreed, as they both snuck back into the ballroom.

The music ended and everyone who wasn’t dancing had begun clapping, Lyman had gotten himself lost in the crowd already and Scarab couldn’t see him anymore. Once the clapping had ceased, Prismo walked up to Scarab, “there you are” Prismo greeted with a smile, “I have a surprise for you, Scrabby.”

Scarab was about to ask what Prismo meant before Cosmo walked up to the stage, “Ladies, gents, and our non-binaries out there” he began, getting a small cheer “we have an important announcement to make before this ball ends, so if you would please direct your attention to Prince Prismo and Sir Scarab” Cosmos smiled as the lights of the ballroom dimmed down and a spotlight shone on Scarab and Prismo. Scarab was surprised having the spotlight suddenly put on him, it wasn’t pleasant. Being related to royalty made him somewhat used to it though.

Prismo got down on one knee and held Scarab’s hand in his own as a hush fell over the crowd. Prismo took a breath, then spoke.

“…Scarab Everglade…these past four years have been the best of my life with you by my side, we’ve been through rough times together but you always stuck around. I love you with all my heart and I ask you to make me the happiest man in the universe…”

Prismo then pulled out a small black box and opened it to reveal a beautiful gold ring with a diamond and two small red rubies on either side.

“Scarab, will you marry me?”

There was silence, and Scarab didn’t know what to say, he felt everyone’s eyes looking directly at him, and he began to hyperventilate, glancing around the room nervously. He caught sight of Lyman, looking at Scarab with an unreadable expression.

“…is there something wrong?” Prismo asked, looking up at Scarab with worry, “my love…?”

“…I…Prismo…I…I can’t marry you.”

Everyone gasped and murmurs were heard amongst the crowd as Prismo’s kind smile fell.

“Scarab…why?” Prismo asked, tears beginning to form, he thought he did everything right? He was kind to Scarab, he made sure to always make time for him, he took care of him, surely it wasn’t that he didn’t dance with Scarab earlier, or was it?

Scarab looked at everyone, backing away towards the exit door. “I-I just cant, Prismo.” He said, unable to give a proper answer with everyone looking at him. Eventually his back hit the door and he fumbled with the handle, ‘run, hide, now’ Scarab’s mind told him as the door opened and he nearly fell backwards.

“Scrabby wait-!” Prismo called after him, reaching for the door.

Scarab didn’t even look back, running as fast as the stupid dress would allow him. He just ran, not caring who or what saw him, he just needed to get away from that crowd.

The town hadn’t had news of what happened yet, so he purchased a cloak and some old clothes last minute with some money he had on him, he went to a changing room in the market and changed quickly, throwing the cloak over himself and bringing his dress with him to discard somewhere else.

The royal family would without a doubt be searching for him and they had tracking dogs which were expertly trained. Why was he running away? Well if he had said no and stayed, the king would be very, very angry, and only Scarab knew what happened when Orbo was that angry…

Scarab got a carriage to a different town and thought about what the hell just happened.

Okay, assess the situation at hand…Prismo proposed to you, you really just dated him because you wanted to murder him and become the ruler but ended up falling in love with a stranger who offered to dance with you and now you’ve run away because Orbo will have you executed if he finds you…it…it could be worse?

He sighed and buried his face in his hands, he’d be living life on the run now, fuck why couldn’t he just have said yes…

He ruined his own life, took years to build, moments to destroy.

He was tired now, from what had happened. He decided he would sleep, the ride would take all night anyway…

He leaned back and asked the driver if he could wake him when they got there for a tip, and the driver accepted. He attempted to sleep but the path was very bumpy plus he felt strangely cold without Prismo by his side and the cold night air, he’d probably be shivering if not for his cloak. He eventually nodded off and let the darkness consume his vision.

[burnwater13]

Grogu had thought his comment was pretty innocent. He had no idea that his dad was going to get so, ‘Let me put on the mantle of authority and lecture the youngling on what is and what is not acceptable for a Mandalorian foundling to say’. But wow, he sure warmed up to his subject and Grogu just sat there and listened because when you’re stuck in a tiny cabin being lectured by the person who feeds you and it’s almost dinnertime you do as they say until you can do what you want to do, which was eat. 

But you be the judge. 

All Grogu had said was the shipyard on Trask was one of the worst shipyards they’d ever been to. That was it. He didn’t say it was the worst shipyard in the sector or the Rim or even the Galaxy. Nope. Just one of the worst shipyards he’d ever been to. He thought that was fair and balanced. But not his dad. Nope. The Mandalorian was very annoyed with him. 

“Buddy,” he said.

Din Djarin called him ‘Buddy’ a lot. 

“Buddy, just because they used a lot of netting and stabilizing wires and the whole place smelled like rotting fish, does not mean they did a bad job. It just means that their standards and your standards aren’t a match. But functionally, the ship works and we can move around it. Probably on their planet this is great workmanship for the time and tools they had access to. You shouldn’t be so judgmental.”

Grogu was about to point out that the babycore tried to attack him but Din Djarin continued his lecture.

“You are going to meet a lot of people who aren’t like you. They have different needs and goals. They will be skilled at different things than you. You are going to need their help one day and it would behoove you to remember that differences make the galaxy better, not worse.”

Grogu was about to protest that he didn’t have anything against the Mon Calamari as a people. They were smart and friendly and helpful and all of that. But pieces of the Razor Crest literally fell off while they were climbing to the upper atmosphere of Trask. Fell off. Gone. Tumbled back down to the planet and hopefully didn’t hit anyone. The Mandalorian, however, was still in lecture mode and wouldn’t let him get in a word with a shim.

“I know when we go to Tatooine Peli Motto does her best, and the best those droids of her’s can do, to make repairs that meet our standards. Every thing fits, it’s wired correctly, there are no critters in the ship that weren’t there before, and she has the pit droids spray ‘new ship smell’ around the bridge and the sleeping quarters. I could do without that,  but I know you like how that smells, so I let her do it. What she does makes us both happy, which is good. But I am sure that there are people who don’t get her and how she works.”

Grogu had to agree with that. There had to be people who didn’t like how when a bug landed on the bill she prepared and she squashed it and it looked like an extra digit on the price that she expected them to pay that amount. There had to be. Or people who found out that when she was repairing their speeder she had the pit droids take the old motivator off of it, spray paint it a different color and re-install it as new. And, he was pretty sure that ‘organic, artisanal, sustainable’ hide, was actually just plastic. But wow was there a price differential for adding those words to describe the stuff. 

He would have said all of that to the grumpy bounty hunter, but Din hadn’t finished his lecture yet. Nope. Not by a long shot. 

“When we get to Nevarro I’m gonna have the ship fixed up and you’ll be able to see how a third shipyard handles repairs. Then you’ll at least have a little more data to add to your analysis and and that will help you refine it. Then maybe you’ll be grateful that they didn’t just haul your home away as junk and suggest you catch a shuttle to the nearest spaceport.”

Ahh. That’s what this had been all about. Grogu had complained about his dad’s home. He hadn’t meant to do that. At least not really. He knew the Razor Crest was a safe space for the Mandalorian. Somewhere he could relax and do all the things he couldn’t do planet-side, like shave, or take his armor off, or walk around bare foot.  

Sometimes Grogu just didn’t think about how his perspective on something wasn’t an exact match for his dad’s perspective on the same thing. After all, they both loved Diggle and Daggle, the Fish that fish. That had been unexpected. And while Grogu loved eating frogs, Din Djarin didn’t even like to watch him eat frogs or eggs for that matter. 

Grogu supposed that they could agree to disagree on most of that stuff, but he was happy to agree with his dad that he was glad that their home was still their home, no matter how many parts fell off it on their way.

[10thmusemoon]

"I Have Named You Queen"

X Posted from twitter and ao3 Rating: M Fandom: MDZS Ship: XuanLi (F/M) Word Count: 6,579 Tags: Modern AU, Eventual Happy Ending

Summary:

Jin Zixuan cyclically falls in and out of love with Jiang Yanli throughout their whole childhood, always expecting her to put up with it since they’re going to get married one day (even out of love he accepts it as a truth). And then she breaks the engagement. OR: Jin Zixuan messes up, and then spends years making up for it.

Jin Zixuan is four and loves Jiang Yanli, he gives her sloppy kisses on her cheeks because it makes their moms laugh and they laugh so nicely when it’s just them. Jiang Yanli in turn blows raspberries on his cheeks and holds his hand when he’s learning to swim. She stays near the shore and swims laps around him when he complains about his sun burns.

They’re going to be married one day and Jiang Yanli gives good hugs so maybe it won’t be so bad.

-

Jin Zixuan is seven and summers at Lotus Pier are the worst!

Things were better back before Jiang Cheng could walk and way better before Wei Ying showed up. They’re so annoying! Now Jiang Yanli just wants to hang out with the babies ALL the time and play whatever they want to play. Or worse, they want to swim all day and Jin Zixuan can’t keep up!

 Frustrated, he stomps over to the pavilion where his mother and Auntie Yu are drinking tea and tells them about this injustice.

“A-Xuan, you’ll have to get used to it. You’ll be related to Jiang Cheng when you’re married.”

 His mother cards through his hair from where he is leaning against her, ignoring how he’s dropping crumbs from his pastry all over her shoulder.

That’s sounds horrible.

“Then we won’t get married!”

-

Jin Zixuan is ten and Jiang Yanli is at Koi Tower. The best place to be, especially because it doesn’t smell like fish all the time. They have more flowers than just lotuses, it’s the best place to live and this summer he’s going to prove it!

The boys weren’t allowed to come this time so it’s just him and Jiang Yanli running around all the secret passages and through shortcuts from courtyard to courtyard of the massive complex. They’re sitting on a garden bench when he takes her hand and runs his thumbs over her palms. “You don’t even have any calluses!”

Her hands are so soft. When she turns his over to inspect them he pulls back, not sure whether to be ashamed at their roughness or proud of what they represent. “I practice my forms every day, three times a day!”

He’s going to be strong.

He just wishes his hands didn’t have to get hard and lumpy first. The lotion he applies every evening smells too strongly and the gloves always fall off halfway through the night. Jin Zixun says it’s better to use socks but that just sounds worse. He just wants to have soft hands and be strong, why is that so hard?

 “Well I don’t practice as often as you do.” She taps a finger at her chin like she always does when she’s thinking. “But A-Ying and A-Cheng have them now too.”

“Ugh!” He slumps back until he’s practically laying on the bench. “Why did you have to bring THEM up?!” From his position he sees her ready the ‘they’re my brothers’ and cuts it off at the head. “They’re not even here!”

Her face scrunches up and he already knows the scolding is coming. “And I miss them because they’re not here. I’m allowed to talk about them, A-Xuan.”

When they’re married he’s going to ban them from Koi Tower. He tells her as much and isn’t prepared for the way she rolls him off the bench. “Hey!”

“You can’t do that.”

She can’t say that!!!!!

 “I can do whatever I want, watch me!” It’s difficult to look down at someone from the dirt, but he thinks he succeeds since she stomps out of the garden.

“Just wait until we’re married!”

-

Jin Zixuan is 13 and he hates it when Jiang Yanli comes to Koi Tower.

His stupid cousins are always whispering about them and daring them to kiss and it’s so annoying!! He doesn’t want to kiss her!!! Her face is oily and she always has at least one zit! And when he tried to help her out by gifting her a cleanser and moisturizer she stopped talking to him for the rest of the day.

Ugh!

She’s just as annoying as her brothers! All the Jiang are annoying! They have lotus pods for brains!

He stops from where he is pacing outside her door to send that in the ✨👑Jin👑✨ group chat  and mentally claps himself on the back when he gets a bunch of laughing emojis from Zixun and their other cousins.

He texts Jiang Yanli a picture of her door and waits to see the bubbles pop up.

They do.

She thumbs up reacts.

“Ugh! You’re so annoying!”

Frustrated, he calls MianMian later that night to complain, when she ends up siding with Jiang Yanli on it being rude, he flops back on his bed and says, “Whatever! She can work it out with the marriage counselor!” His mom is always talking to the marriage counselor, more than she talks to his dad. It’s fine. It’s whatever.

They’re at lunch with their mothers, forced to sit side by side, and it’s the first time he’s talked to her in almost a week. “Pass the dressing.”

“Please.” She’s the worst when she’s mad.

“Please, pass the dressing.”

His mother snorts from the other side of the table and he is scandalized by the sound. “Not even married yet and A-Li is already improving your manners. I really do have something to look forward to.”

Heat crawls up his scalp and he slams down his hands on the table a clang. “Mom!”

She laughs at him.

Frantically, he turns to Yanli for backup and wants to die at how pink she’s gotten as she joins in on the laughter. She can’t possibly?

“Don’t agree!”

-

Jin Zixuan is 16 and the Jiangs are still the worst.

He thought they were bad at home but in public, at Cloud Recesses, they drag their name through the mud and his by association. He’s tried to keep his connection to them on the down low, but someone always asks and someone always answers.

“Betrothed? Really?”

“I didn’t know you were old money and old fashion!” There’s a round a snickering and he tries his best to ignore it, choosing instead to concentrate on trying to draw a peony pattern on his lantern. It’s starting to look more like a large cabbage than anything resembling a flower.

“I just thought she’d be, I don’t know-“

“Prettier?”

“Yeah! Or at least in the top rankings.”

“She’s not even in the top of the class.”

Pinching his lips to avoid responding, he draws a smaller cabbage near the top of his lantern. Yanli isn’t stupid, she just has to work harder to learn things. It doesn’t come as easy to her as it does to Jin Zixuan or even her younger brothers.

But that’s not- that doesn’t mean anything.

The characters, they don't always stay in place for her so she has to read things over several times to be sure she understands what's being said.

 Privately, and it's a very Jiang way of thinking, Jin Zixuan feels that the hard work she puts in to doing a good job anyways is admirable. She’s not at the top of her classes but she does well enough!

But he can't say that to his Jin cousins, they wouldn't understand. And he sure isn't going to tell them about how she struggles to read, he knows that much is social suicide. Homicide? It's not advised.

So he keeps quiet and when it's time to send their lanterns in the air he finds himself a few steps away from where the Jiangs are finishing up. He can’t help but notice that the flowers on her lantern actually look like flowers and so he turns his cabbages to face the oppose direction.

He's helping MianMian light her fire when he hears the familiar irritating tones of Wei Wuxian go soft and sweet. "What are you wishing for a, good marriage?"

 Freezing, he prays that no one else heard, that no one will start their nonsense back up. It's all he ever hears about these days and he's sick of it. He didn't choose to be betrothed, and if he had, he wouldn't have made it everyone's business to know. The Jin wing of Cloud Recesses have been insufferable as is.

Thankfully, Jiang Yanli is a professional at deflecting her brother's prodding.

"I wish that you will grow up soon and behave well."

"Shijie!" There's a sense of laughter to his whine and Jin Zixuan rolls his eyes to hear it.

Fire ready, their lanterns start their slow ascent into the heavens and, he suspects, to terrorize the birds of Gusu Lan. At the very least, they look nice.

If she did wish for a good marriage, well. That's something.

He'd rather not think about it.

Out of curiosity he turns to see what Jiang Yanli is doing and catches the way her expression turns wondrous as she stares up at darkening sky. The small flames make for a nice sight, little glowing fireflies dancing inside the lanterns. It's nice. Kind of. She looks nice. Almost, cute.

They don't, they don't talk anymore, not really. The annual visits during the summer ended as soon as their growing responsibilities became too much. It's not like he misses her. He hears enough about her as is without actually having to talk to her.

If he DID miss her, it's not like he can't check her social media accounts to see what she's doing. But it's always the same, Lotus Pier, some food, her stupid brothers, and every now and again a story about a drama she's watching or a trip she took.

Not that he's checking.

A sharp elbow jabs at his ribs and when he turns back, MianMian is smiling at him with raised brows. "Why don't we watch with Jiang Yanli?" Feeling caught out, he moves out of elbow range and before he can say anything he hears:

"Why would she wish for that? Her bride groom is right here!" There's a tensing in his shoulders and he stays rooted in place as a new round of whispers and laughter goes around at his expense. His cousins are quick to pick up on the heckling until he's boiling over with irritation. His neck starts to tingle with all the eyes that are on him and he needs to leave, now.

"MianMian, let's go." She is his best friend, has been for several years now, but even she doesn't get it. She’s fine with people talking about her but it’s not- it’s not the same.

"What happened? I thought we were watching with Jiang Yanli?"

There's a wolf whistle and suddenly everyone is staring at him walk away. When she tries to ask again, he snaps. "I didn't want this marriage, don't mention it again." He thought they were far enough away, he certainly didn't expect Wei Wuxian to emerge from the trees with all the menace of a wild boar.

"What do you mean don't mention it again?"

 The last thing he needs now to get involved with him. Jin Zixuan's name is already in everybody's mouth because of this, he doesn't need Wei Wuxian's brand of chaos tacked on. Especially with the way he’s been verging on getting banned from the Cloud Recesses.

"Is that so difficult to understand?” He sneers, “Don't mention it again." Suddenly, he's thankful for his mother's height. It's only a single inch of advantage, but he can still look down at Wei Wuxian from this vantage point.

After 16 years, he should have known better. Wei Wuxian will never leave a scab alone when he can rip it off. Especially not where his siblings are concerned. The fight that breaks out is a long time coming, finally they're on neutral ground and can air their grievances like men. Wei Wuxian may have more practical experience, but Jin Zixuan has been practicing martial arts as long as he’s been able to walk. It’s ugly, and they’re both bleeding by the time the others arrive.

Two crowds form around them, arms wrapping around their bodies to keep them apart. Out of sheer determination, they try to kick at each other from where they stand, neither reaching their goal.

"I'll beat you to death!"

"Let me go, you're dead!"

"Let me go Lan Zhan!"

Before Lan Wangji can start doling out punishments, a cry of "A-Xian! A-Xian! Let go!" breaks through the crowd. Jiang Yanli weaves her way through until she's facing her brother, hands at his shoulders. Immediately, Wei Wuxian stops resisting the arms grabbing him and stills in her hold.

Jin Zixuan is familiar with this pattern, having known them his whole life. Seeing that de-escalation is near, Jin Zixuan stops his own attempts to break free and feels the arms pull away. From the corner of his eye, he can see MianMian and Jiang Wanyin rip through the crowd. So that's where she went.

"What is happening here?"

Someone, a little too eagerly, shouts, "I heard Jin Zixuan looking down on Jiang Yanli! He wants to break the engagement!"

"He's defending his sister!"

That's not! He didn't say that!

Whipping his head her tries to find the culprit but mouths clamp shut under his scrutiny.

The blood from where Wei Wuxian punched him, forcing his lip into his teeth, drips down his neck, surely ruining the collar of the white Lan uniform. But he finds the pain secondary to the way Jiang Yanli is looking at him. Betrayal painting her features into something unfamiliar. He's suddenly too aware of the blood when she turns her gaze to the side for a moment before focusing once again on Wei Wuxian's angry face. Something heavy drops in Jin Zixuan's stomach, an familiar mix of dread and fear, like the first time he fell off his sword.

Jiang Yanli is holding onto to Wei Wuxian so tightly that the white fabric at his shoulders wrinkles and puckers beneath her hands. Her breath is coming quick, as if she had been the one tussling. Abruptly, her spine snaps straight and she lets go of her brother.

"A-Xian, let's go home."

She doesn’t look over at him when she leaves.

Not even once.

Wei Wuxian and Jiang Wanyin's fierce glares make up for it. A line of Jiang disciples trail after them, each shooting the Jins a dirtier look than the last.

Whispering breaks out around him again about how he wanted to break the betrothal. About how cruel he was. That’s not…that’s not what he said.

Jin Zixuan is 16 and for the first time in his life, he's not engaged to Jiang Yanli. Lan Qiren called a meeting with their fathers and by the end of it, he was informed of his new status as single man. His mother- Their mothers would never have let that happen.

At age 16, Jin Zixuan is unfriended on all of Jiang Yanli's social media. He doesn't have it in him to text her. Just as he works himself up to send a message, he remembers the way she looked at him and puts his phone down.

-

At age 18, Jin Zixuan has his first date. Well, probably not his first first date. That was with Jiang Yanli when they were infants, or so his mother liked to remind him every so often before The Incident. It's been two years and she's only just stopped being actively mad about it. Every time Auntie Yu visits, he can't meet her eyes and finds reasons to be in a different part of the mansion. If he lingers behind doors, or at the edge of rooms, to try to get word of what his ex-fiancée is doing these days, no one can blame him.

That's how he thinks of her now, his ex-fiancée. She's not- he can't actually call her his "ex" since they never actually dated. The only kisses they ever exchanged were messy things on each other's cheeks as kids. But they're not-not exes. It's just, nothing else fits.

His date is a girl from his riding club that has gone on a few trails with him and MianMian. She has a white mare and one of her fathers reminds him a little of Auntie Yu, which was both comforting and terrifying when they were signing their NDAs. Ning Ying Ying is a nice girl, easy to please and easier to make laugh. As such, they have a laid back date consisting of shopping and dinner. They have a quarter of a shopping center closed off just for them and dinner at a restaurant her fathers have a standing reservation at.

It's nice, they get to try on clothes to their hearts content and then at dinner they gossip about people they know. She doesn't even bat an eye when he's a little too rude, easy to forgive his lapses to dig at what he's trying to actually trying to get across.

It's nice. It just doesn't feel like a date, it's more like hanging out with MianMian but he could keep doing this. This could work out. They're starting their final course when a couple sits at the empty table across the room.

Jin Zixuan startles so badly he almost knocks over their drinks. "What, what is it?" Ning Ying Ying draws in close, looking around conspiratorially. He tilts his head in the right direction and watches as her eyes light up in recognition. "How do you know them?'

As socially inept as he can be, even he knows not to call Jiang Yanli his ex-fiancée while on a date with another girl. Struggling for a descriptor he says, “Our moms are best friends.” Eagerly, her head bobs along as if this is enough of a reason for his behavior.

In their world, it kind of is.

He twirls his hands in a way to indicate she's next. "Oh yeah, that's Ling Wen. She dated my best friend's best friend." Scrolling through his memories, he tries to match a name to the story. Ning Ying Ying’s web of friends is almost as intricate as his family tree.

Hopeful, he asks, "Luo Binghe?"

She shakes her head side to side, "His best friend, Liu Mingyan."

That's what he thought.

You're not- you're not supposed to assume things. But MianMian has a type when she dates girls and this Ling Wen looks exactly like that. She’s dressed in a high waisted pantsuit, a black blazer standing in stark contrast with a white collared shirt. Instead of a tie, there’s some intricate sort of necklace in it’s place. Her hair is pulled back in such a way that her bangs make it seem like she has a shorter cut than she does. MianMian would be all over her if she was here.

He didn't- he didn't know Yanli liked girls. It never came up, they never talked about it.

'You didn't talk about a lot of things.' the part of his brain that scoffs like Jiang Cheng says.

'We didn't have to!' the petulant part that sounds like him defends.

Scrambling, he tries to find the boundary of what's appropriate to ask and what's just fulfilling his curiosity. He's always being reminded that is not the same.

"Is she...nice?" It sounds lame even to him the second it leaves his mouth. But isn’t that important to know? Ning Ying Ying's long pause makes his heart race.

"I think so? It wasn't serious, she's older than us. Kind of a flirt."

From the way Ling Wen leaning over the table, twirling a strand of Jiang Yanli's soft hair around a finger, he believes it. And Jiang Yanli, she looks- Flustered, but comfortable, relaxed. She looks happy.

It makes his throat itch..

Jin Zixuan spends the rest of the date wishing she would just look over at him.

She doesn't.

-

Jin Zixuan is 19 when he first goes on a date with a boy. It's decidedly, not like hanging out with MianMian.

At all.

-

Jin Zixuan is 20, he's dated girls and boys equally, and has learned a lot about what he likes and what he doesn't. He's home for winter break, gazing out the passenger window of Meng Yao's car, pretending not to be anxious. If they were following his old life plan, he would have been married in five years. That's not happening anytime soon.

"Will you be okay?"

Meng Yao's voice is laced with worry. When they're together like this, he's quieter, softer than he is with anyone else.

Well.

Except, maybe his boyfriends. But he doesn't want to think about any Nie or Lan just yet. He has bigger concerns right now. This party that they're going to, the Jiangs are throwing it. Calling it a holiday party is an excuse, everyone knows they're going to announce Wei Wuxian's engagement to Lan Wangji.

And so.

Jiang Yanli.

Jin Zixuan hasn’t been this physically close to hear in years. He swallows around the emotion, no matter what he tries, he doesn't know how to identify it. What is it when you miss someone you've known your whole life, but were kind of a dick to accidentally, and you miss but also you realize maybe you didn't really know them?

That.

Whatever that is.

"Yeah, it's fine."

It's not fine.

At 20, Jin Zixuan is very attracted to Jiang Yanli. It's kind of a problem.

He wants to sink to his knees and show her how sorry he is, wants her to pull and push at his hair until he can’t breathe against her. He wants to know if pecan ice cream is still her favorite, if she still cries at sad movies, or still likes cats more than dogs.

He wants to know if he knows her at all.

This Jiang Yanli who stands proud and tall all the time, not just when she’s angry, feels like a stranger.

He wants to know her. Wants to stop missing her. He wants, so desperately, for her to just look his way. To see him as the man he is today, not the idiot he was as a teenager.

When he first arrive, Jin Zixuan had dithered about until he could find a good time to catch her eye and gave a half aborted gesture that could probably be called a wave by some people. The shock was so plainly evident on her face that it stung. Before she could wave back (or so he hoped), some Lan relation was pulling her attention away in a near panicked state.

Her response sears into his mind for the next hour, darkening his mood.

How badly is their (nonexistent) relationship where some thing small as a wave emits that kind of reaction?

His sulking doesn’t go unnoticed, Qin Su and Mo Xuanyu quickly find him and pull him around the room to make the rounds. Qin Su is dressed as lavishly as ever, a graceful vision of warm tones between all the purple, black, and white. Beside her, Mo Xuanyu chatters excitedly about the shopping trip they went on to find clothes for tonight. He’s dressed in something that someone might be able to call suit if they were generous. Culottes may be involved, he’s not quite sure, but the overall effect feels very avant-garde and well put together.

Jin Zixuan tells him as much and the delighted smile that earns him does wonders for his mood. They catch up, in the way newly discovered siblings do, where it feels like too much and not enough has been said between them all. They agree to catch up for breakfast before he leaves again and the casual expectation of that fills his heart like it does every time. After being an only child for the majority of his life, having siblings has been such an unexpected wonder (after they got over the horrors of their father).

Caught up in the fraternal emotions of love, he looks around for Meng Yao, noticing how he had been suspiciously absent throughout the night. Checking in with his siblings points him in the right direction. The look Qin Su and Mo Xuanyu share, neither of them having much in the way of subtly, confirms his suspicions.

On this joyous occasion, Meng Yao has been busy diverting the attention of Jiangs away from him, carefully funneling away anyone unpleasant that might have a few words they’ve been meaning to get off their chest for the last four years. It goes without saying, he doesn’t interact with Wei Wuxian or Jiang Cheng all night. He really has the best siblings.

In such a short time, he's grown to understand the vitriol Jiang Yangli's brothers had towards him and her own reactions to his callous words about them.

Maybe he did deserve being pushed off that bench after all.

Ego rebuilt by familial affections, he tries to find reasons to catch Jiang Yanli’s eye, to be next to her between toasts and pleasantries.

She notices.

Unfortunately, Jiang Yanli wears the diplomatic and inoffensive smile she dons when someone asks about the Jiang family business and he hates that she's pointing it at him, like he's a stranger.

She used to laugh at him.

She used to braid his hair and push him off benches and she didn't have to pretend to be nice. She could be angry at him because he deserved it, because they would go right back to being friends at the end of the summer. He doesn't like not knowing that part of her, and vaguely, wonders if anyone does or if she lives in the veneer of the gentle Jiang daughter, never allowing anyone to see what boils beneath the surface.

It's not that she isn't gentle, she is very much everything that makes up an old movie princess. Gentle, kind, spirited and maybe too generous to animal, judging by the river snakes she used to show him.

But she, more than most, has enough cause to be angry.

Jin Zixuan saw what her parents were like to her brothers and how it fell to her, much too young, to soothe their impact. As someone only recently introduced to the level of filial anger, he gets it. It’s both a blessing and curse that his father, and by extension his mother, weren’t around his siblings when they were at their most vulnerable.

After the engagement announcement and before the final round of desserts, he tries once more time to catch her attention. No one is more surprised than he when Jiang Yanli agrees to follow him to a balcony to talk. It’s chilly outside, fretfully he tries to stand at an angle where he can be sure that she’s under the thermal lamp.

In the awkward lull of silence, Jin Zixuan allows himself to take her in. Under the glow of the heat light, her hair takes on a brown tone, her eyes look a little warmer. The earrings she’s wearing look like tea drops made of the sun. She’s beautiful.

She also looks deeply uncomfortable. Unsure.

He wishes she didn’t.

Memories of how she looked at that restaurant come to mind, the way she absent mindedly leaned into Ling Wen’s touch, the relaxed set of her shoulder, and the ease of her smile.

He wants that.

He wants her.

Not just in a romantic or sexual sense, though that would be the ideal, but he wants her back in his life, in any way she will allow.

He misses her.

Jin Zixuan spent the majority of his life one half of a set and the years apart felt like an amputation. A phantom pain. The shattering of a set of salt shakers, an open wound that never got close to healing.

“Was there…is there something you needed?”

Jiang Yanli’s arms are wrapped tightly around her self and suddenly Jin Zixuan is 16 again. His heart starts to race and the words start to pile on the back of his mind, scrambling and unable to get out. He feels like if he tries, the words will come out twisted, stumble on his tongue, and wrong and garbled and he’ll never have this chance again. His heart beats loudly, blood roaring in his chest and his ears, face growing hot and palms going sweaty. It’s terrifying. But the thought of another 4 years of this- he can’t. He doesn’t want to do that.

Swallowing around the heart in his throat he blurts out, “I’m sorry!”

Jiang Yanli has always been kind, she doesn’t pretend to misunderstand, or look confused about what he’s apologizing for. She knows him. A parade of expressions cross her features, Jin Zixuan tries to catalog them all. Tries to hold them up against his memories, tries to identify what they could be and if there is any room for hope between them. When the silence becomes unbearable, all the words he had been holding back come tumbling out.

“You-You don’t have to forgive me, I don’t expect that! Of course I don’t! But I wanted you to know that I’m sorry! I’m really sorry. I was stupid and I know that now, but I thought you should know that too and if-if you wanted to be friends, I miss you.”

Tears gather at the corner of his eyes and the sting of it, and the embarrassment of their presence, makes him want to run to safety. To lock himself in Meng Yao’s car until one of his siblings comes after him. He wants to pry himself from yet another embarrassing moment that will haunt him for the next 15 years. One that he’ll rewind and replay at the darkest hours of the night, at every holiday party, and every time he’s at a Jiang event.

The Jin Zixuan of before would have given in to those instincts. But he was an idiot.

Thankfully, he’s 20 now, he’s learned some things about himself.So even though he wants to, even though he’s scared he’s made things worse, Jin Zixuan stays.

Jiang Yanli is worth embarrassing himself for. Worth being anxious and brave for.

“Okay.”

He shifts his weight from foot to foot. “Okay?”

Jiang Yanli takes a step back and meets his eyes, expression unreadable. “Thank you for telling me.”

She kind of sounds…annoyed? His heart sinks to hear it, he bites back his first response, and his second. Even if it’s freaking him out, even if it’s not any of the reactions he thought he would receive, he can’t do anything about it but accept it for what it is.

When she turns to leave, he lamely adds, “I just wanted you to know I miss you.”

He thinks, for a second, that she may have paused at his words. Though he done. That it might even be seen as obsessive.9t be sure. - Jin Zixuan is 20 when he receives a friend request from Jiang Yanli. Before the hour is up he’s gone through every one of her posts for the last four years, catching up on everything he missed. Two hours in Qin Su calls him to inform him he should stop liking her old posts, delicately implying that it’s not what’s cringe!”

Mo Xuanyu, in an eager voice note adds, “Ge, that’s cringe!”

Meng Yao, somehow, changes his passwords without warning.

It’s a week before he gets access back, and only because they discovered he was scrolling through on one of the official Jin accounts. He had accidentally liked a picture she posted that had a competitor tagged in it, it was something of a public relations crisis.

In an attempt to make his life look a little more interesting, he goes to his condo’s window and takes several picture of the sunset until he finds one he likes. Quickly typing up a caption, he sends it to MianMian for peer review, and only goes back and forth twice until he gets her approval. As a thank you, he sends her what is probably, maybe, a reasonable amount of money for a nice dinner. Judging by the chain of emojis he receives on the payment, he may have overestimated the amount again.

Jin Zixuan uploads the photo to his private account and almost immediately hears the ping of a notification. Fully expecting it to be his mother, he opens the notifications and almost drops his phone.

It’s not his mother.

It’s Jiang Yanli.

“That looks nice, A-Xuan.”

A-Xuan!!!

The second he reads and rereads the message he throws himself facedown on his custom gold sofa and hits his head against the plush fabric several times. He had fully given up on ever being A-Xuan to her again! Giddy, he kicks up his legs behind him to swing them back and forth, quickly screenshotting the comment to send it to MianMian.

-

Jin Zixuan is 21 and he texts Jiang Yanli every day. They send pictures of what they're doing, selfies in awkward lighting, questions about their siblings, their parents, whether they seen this movie or that one, how their masters program is going? Whether they've gone horseback riding recently, what ridiculous new venture their family businesses are going on, thoughts on pecan ice cream (still her favorite!), and every other inconsequential thing that comes to mind.

And sometimes, he's gleefully noticed, Jiang Yanli sends him things of she doesn't post online.

New recipes she's tried, designs she's experimenting with in her textiles classes, little accomplishments or things that gained her recognition.

Jin Zixuan treasures each message, every new thing he learns about Jiang Yanli.

At 21 he has his friend back.

-

Jin Zixuan is 23 and he doesn't go on dates anymore. He doesn't try to pretend that he'll find something more than what he already has. Jin Zixuan is home all the time now, fully involved in the family business, preparing for the day that his father will retire, be overthrown, or be murdered by his mother. Whichever comes first.

Privately, he thinks, the last would be the truest justice. He tries to telepathically communicate this to Auntie Yu when she visits, but she just asks if he needs new glasses.

-

Jin Zixuan is 24 when he has his first kiss with Jiang Yanli. It's seared into his memories, into the back of his eyelids, into his very soul. He'll remember more vividly than any other first kiss that's come before. It's all he can think about for days.

He replays it in his mind every night, in the middle of the day between meetings and reading reports. It drives him to distraction so often that his new assistant, hand picked by his brother, keeps having to bring deadlines to his attention.

But he's so giddy, so full of warmth and excitement, that it doesn't matter what anyone has to say about his absent minded behavior. It doesn't matter. Nothing matters!

She kissed him!

He buries face in his hands at the memory and ignores the way Yin Yu is silently counting to ten. Jin Zixuan is too busy remembering the way the streetlights had reflected in Jiang Yanli's eyes when she tilted her head up and closed the distance. Her lips had been so soft, he couldn't breath, and before he could panic she laughed at him.

"Won't you kiss me, A-Xuan?"

She stayed so close, her lips brushing against his at every word. When her hand wrapped around the back of his neck to pull him in, he went easily. Eagerly.

She kissed him!

Jin Zixuan is 24 when he starts dating Jiang Yanli, when he learns the expressions she makes when in the throes of pleasure. He loves her and worships her like a priest at an alter, like a dying man reaching an oasis.

Like a man in love for a lifetime.

At 24 he learns that she has a mean streak. That Yanli will edge him until the brink of tears, kissing down his spine as she shallowly thrusts into him until he's begging her for more. Teasing him as she switches out the size on her harness for something larger, more filling. At the end, they’ll hold each other tightly, whispering everything from love confessions to inside jokes and long forgotten memories.

Their nights together are amazing, their mornings are better. Full of lazy kisses and gentle touches, laughter and the smell of breakfast being cooked when they have the energy to do it together. When they don't, they playfully argue on where to order from.

At 24, he's happy. Loved.

-

Jin Zixuan is 26 when he proposes, and for once, he's not worried about the outcome. Their mothers are unbearably smug at the news, their brothers hold each other back, Qin Su delights in having a sister.

At 26, after a decade, they're engaged again.

-

Jin Zixuan at 27, pours tea for the Jiangs on the most auspicious day of the year.

 His hands shake and his vision blurs, and he is so, so, happy. His eyes never straying far from his bride. It is an intimate affair, with the larger celebration occurring later in the day, and it's perfect. Their parents are all in unnaturally good moods, their mothers haven’t stopped smiling. Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng, the last of their aggression having been worked out during the door games, are barely keeping their own tears in.

(He only slightly regrets ever wanting to ban them from Koi Tower. When he whispers this to his wife(!), on their wedding night, she doesn't hesitate to try to push him off the bed. But at 27 it's not so easy as it was at 10, he pushes back at her shoulders just long enough to slide down the bed and make a compelling argument for forgiveness.)

Later, during the exchanging of their vows, in front of everyone who could get an invitation to the wedding of the year, he cries because she is so beautiful, and he is so, so happy. And just like that night several years ago, she leans in close and says, "Won't you kiss me, husband?"

In the weeks after the ceremony, when they've returned from their honeymoon and are settling in, Mo Xuanyu will text him the most unflattering, drastically zoomed in photos of him from the wedding. He'll show them to his wife and laugh at together at them. Jin Zixuan saves every one.

No matter how unflattering they are, they are precious memories from the best day of his life. Maybe the second best day, since he was too young to remember the day he met his wife.

His wife!

-

Jin Zixuan is 30 when their first son is born. A-Ling is an astonishingly fat baby, he cries easily and refuses to sleep without being in someone's arms. Thankfully, their families are large enough that there is always someone willing to hold him. It gets to the point that he has to nearly fight to get his own baby back who, for whatever reason, has latched onto Jiang Cheng like a barnacle.

When they're home alone, Jin Zixuan will give A-Ling sloppy kisses on his full rosey cheeks and blows raspberries against them because it makes his wife laugh. When Jin Zixuan was four, he loved Jiang Yanli, thought that she was good at holding hands and better at giving hugs. He thought marrying her wouldn't be so bad. And he was right.

[bohemian-rhapsody-in-blue]

Beboptober Day 9: Something Good

Thanks to @thestarlightsymphony​ for the prompt list! I’m publishing two fics today (10/9, although I guess technically 10/10 since it’s after midnight in my time zone) to make up for falling behind on Day 7. You can read my fic for Day 8, Sacrifice, right here!

“What have you got there, Ed?” said Jet, looking down at the girl with amusement over the multitude of plastic grocery bags in his arms.

“Something good!” Ed said cheerily, brandishing the two puffy, shiny things out in front of her, one in each of her hands. “Something good for Ed!”

The three adults on the ship had ostensibly been purchasing food and supplies for the ship—in reality, Jet did most of the actual work of buying and budgeting, while Spike complained about what they didn’t have and Faye tried to see how many expensive luxury items she could get away with buying, even when they really couldn’t afford any of it. Ed had been pretty much left to her own devices, which meant she’d set off to explore the streets and stores in the general vicinity, with the understanding she’d meet back up with the rest of the crew afterwards. (Jet and Spike, at least; Faye still wasn’t back from whatever hare-brained shopping excursion she’d set out on.) Ein had been following at her heels all the while, taking in all the unfamiliar sights and smells. Ed always found interesting things when exploring new places, and today was no exception.

Jet, who was on his way to the kitchen to put the food away, suddenly stopped and looked over at Ed with concern. “You didn’t steal those, did you?”

“Nope!” Ed giggled. “Ed found them for freeeee!”

“That sounds like stealing to me,” remarked Spike, flopping down on the couch and taking a drag of a cigarette from his freshly-purchased package.

“Ed found them outside a store,” Ed explained. “And the box said free!” This was true; she’d found the things jumbled up in a hodgepodge of other broken toys, threadbare clothing, and worn-out furniture. These had probably been included because their plastic handles were broken off and they were full of bald spots, with the few strands that remained hanging straggly and limp. But Ed had been drawn to their glittery pinkish-white color, and she loved the way they shimmered and the rustling sound they made when she shook them about.

Jet looked satisfied at Ed’s explanation. “Those are called pompoms,” he said to her. “You ever heard of them?”

Ed shook her head, fascinated.

“When teams play sports,” said Jet, “there are people called cheerleaders, who stand to the side and wave these things about and yell and cheer so their team will win.” He shook his head. “I guess they used to be a lot more of a thing, back in the olden days. You don’t see them so much anymore.”

“Could Ed be a cheerleader?” Ed asked.

“Sure,” said Jet, shrugging and turning back to the kitchen. “You just have to yell things like, ‘Go, team, go!’ and all that. You’ve got the pompoms for it already.”

“So you’re basically teaching her to be even more loud and annoying than she is already,” Spike said sarcastically without looking up. “Great job, Jet.”

“Ah, c’mon,” Jet said. “It’s harmless and it gets some of her energy out.”

By now, Ed was enthusiastically running and jumping around the living area like a human pinball, yelling things like, “Go, team, go!” and “Team, go, team!” and the word “Pompom!” over and over again.

“And if it ever gets to be too much,” said Jet, raising a half-joking eyebrow, “you know where the aspirin is.”

“What’s going on in here?” asked Faye, wrestling a multitude of large shopping bags through the small circular door to the Bebop’s living room.

“Ed found pompoms!” Ed shouted, without preface. She giggled as she held the pompoms high up in the air—and Faye stopped.

She was rocketed back to memories of watching the old Betamax tape that had been recorded by and delivered to her from, supposedly, herself in the past. Of the girl putting on a cheerleading outfit, complete with pompoms like this, cheering for her future self. The girl who was apparently her, Faye—but who may as well have been a stranger. When had she ever been that naïve, that shy, that genuine? Who was that girl?

But as Faye looked at Ed, joyfully performing her makeshift cheerleading routine with her scrappy little pompoms, she was struck with a strange recognition.

Ed had the same innocent, ingenuous smile, if a little more manic, as the girl on the tape, and her cheerful and enthusiastic movements were eerily reminiscent of that old recording from decades ago—in intent, if not exactly in form.

This used to be me. This is what I was like.

And yet, if Faye had ever been this innocent and happy, she still couldn’t remember. She couldn’t reconcile the view in front of her with any version of herself. That girl on the tape, cheering for her, was still just as foreign as before. Lost to her. Lost to time.

“Go, Faye-Faye, go!” Ed yelled, giggling madly. “Fight, Faye-Faye, fight!”

Faye sighed, her shoulders slumping. She allowed herself to give the kid a small grin as she hauled her bags back to her quarters. She may no longer have had a past self cheering for her. But at least she had someone in her corner, as weird and wacky as that someone may have been. That was something good.

And as she watched Ed, she felt almost sentimental, protective. She hoped beyond hope that this innocent kid would never have to lose herself like this. That she’d never suffer a similar fate.

[monstergoblin]

The Owl Pirates Chapter Six

First Chapter Tumblr Link HERE Previous Chapter Tumblr Link HERE Posted First On A03 Here  I t’ll be updated on A03 first and might take me a bit to get to updating it here as I always seem to forget about my tumblr. <3

 Trigger Warnings Always Read Safe: Depression, Suicidal thoughts, Pushing down feelings, Overworking self to ignore feelings, Child Abuse (Belos is a bitch okay), Gaslighting, Self Gaslighting, Manipulation, Injuries

Notes: I just want to say chapters wont always be updated so quickly. I just have a lot of free time rn and am a bored goblin obsessed with pirates.

Chapter 6: The Beginning of Friendship

“Okay you can’t hate The Good Witch Azura without actually reading it.” Luz sighed taking the book from Hunter and returning it to her chest.

    If he was just going to complain about every option, why did he ask.

    “Even the summary sounds cheesy.” Hunter stated. “I’m not a child.”

    “The Good Witch Azura has plenty of heavier topics.” Luz informed. “Just because it was targeted for a younger audience doesn’t make it bad.” 

    Hunter let out a little annoyed huff, and Luz wanted to be happy he was actually having any sort of actual personality, but why did he have to be like that?

    “What are you wanting to read?” Luz sighed, turning to him. “Maybe that would help? Anything you’re looking for?”

    He shrugged.

    If Luz wasn’t a good person she’d slap him.

    “Fine, how about you pick one.” She gestured to her chest and moved so Hunter could bend down and look inside. 

    Of course the boy instantly reached for the their own writing her and Amity were creating putting themselves into The Good Witch Azura world.

    “Not that one.” Luz was fast to stop him.

    Hunter didn’t comment, just ignored the book and looked through the others. It took him a bit of picking up different books and reading the backs before he finally settled on one.

    “Rulers Reach?” Luz scoffed.

    “Better than The Good Witch.” Hunter stated. “I heard this one is popular.”

    “Okay.” Luz shrugged. She was not about to go on the spill of how King wrote that book, and how Eda had surprised him by publishing it on his birthday under the pen name Princely.  She hadn’t realized it was popular on the mainland, they only published it so King could see his book as a book. Most everyone on the ship had a copy now.

    Hunter then must've decided the conversation was over as he took the book and started heading out of the crew's quarters. 

    “Don’t I get a thank you?” Luz shouted after him.

    Hunter turned back to her for a split second. “Thank you.” he said dully before leaving.

    At least he was showing interest in something. Even if rudely.

-----------------

    It was silly to want to read when he should be focusing on other things, but reading had always been his escape back home and he longed for it again. It wasn’t like he wasn’t watching as he did his chores, trying to spot a weakness in the crew. Just in those quiet moments when there wasn’t much to do Hunter would allow himself to read, instead of sitting aimlessly waiting.

    It was nice to have something to look forward to in a day.

    He was still paying attention to everything around him. Even when he was rushing his chores so he could possibly sit down for just a moment. He was watching. 

    He pretended he didn’t notice the eyes on him waiting for him to do something. He had grown accustomed to the eyes of people on him waiting for him to screw up. What difference was it if they were waiting for a betrayal. At least they weren’t stupid.

    It became a routine. Doing the chores Eda was trying to occupy his time with- He did notice he had more chores than the others- he didn’t really mind. Always watching as the children who babysat him talked or tried to have him interact with others. Keeping track of every member of the crew while the day goes by. Trying to figure out how to exploit their weakness and somehow capture at least just Eda and Lilth. Then at the end of the day he would allow himself time to read.

    It was perfectly healthy. 

    He could probably trick any of the children into doing what he wanted. They were kids after all. Alador seemed easy to convince when he was working on something else- he saw Amity do it. Perry was more of a thinker than a threat, but if Gus was on board he’d probably be on board as Perry seemed to care a great deal about the boy. Harvey was more strict on making sure Hunter wasn’t getting in trouble but his husband Gilbert cooled him down easily. Steve was easy going even if he did stare a bit to long at Hunter for his liking.

    The problem being was the ‘authority’ on this ship. Eda was a wildcard, hard to predict and made strange decisions. She always had her eye on Hunter from across the ship and when Hunter looked towards her she’d make some stupid face or wink at him. 

    Camila was the first mate. She was- weird. She acted so sweet to everyone making sure they were getting things done but also taking time for themselves. She had expressed interest at Hunter reading. Also apparently Amity told her of his attempt at borrowing beforehand. She had defended herself with a “you told me not to tell Eda.” So he still technically owed the purple girl a favor.

    Lilith was always holding her head high around Hunter. Like any time he’d seen her back in the navy. The judgemental scoffs, stares at bad decisions, and always watching him. It was annoying. The only thing that got her attention away was the cursed bird Hooty. 

    Those three would be his real challenge in pulling anything off. They needed to trust him first, and in order for that to happen he had to exploit their weakness- Luz.

    All three loved the loud girl very much and if he could have Luz thinking he was trustworthy. Perhaps they’d soften up. If they did, the rest of the crew would follow. Then it was a matter of figuring out the next step.

    Hunter had learned an effective method on getting his chores done faster and earned himself time to sit. His current babysitter was Gus, who liked to give Hunter space and was talking to Willow across the deck. Gus was probably his favorite babysitter he got assigned. Matt was annoying, Luz was loud, Amity was too bossy, Willow always helped, Edric tried to get Hunter to answer meaningless questions and Emira tried to convince him to pull pranks. 

    Gus gave him space, so Hunter could actually enjoy his breaks.

    He was using this one to observe Luz, trying to come up with a plan. She was being chased around by the little creature King who was screaming about Luz needing to pay for her crimes. Luz was laughing and easily dodging the poor attempts at attacks. 

    Kings hood fell off in the chaos of chasing the older girl. underneath was a mess of black hair and finned ears. Hunter hadn’t realized before but now with the sun reflecting off of him, he could make out Kings skin wasn’t skin, but scales, that started a human tone and slowly gradient to black and white.

    Hunter read about mermaids and sirens being able to almost mock human forms.

    They were bad luck to find. Why would a pirate ship choose to keep one?

    “I demand a formal apology!” King shouted as he chased the girl around, he didn’t seem to mind his hood was off now.

    “You’ve got to catch me first!” Luz chuckled, leaping up on a barrel easily to escape the child's attempt at a bullrush.

    “Francois defend your ruler!” King threw the little octopus doll at Luz but missed by a good few feet and the little doll landed with a squeak. 

    “Oh!” Luz leapt over to the doll and swiped it up. “Looks like I’ve captured your soldier. What you gonna do about it.”

    “Francois no!” King pushed himself back up to his feet and tried to reach the doll from Luz’s much taller grasp.

    It was ridiculous but Hunter couldn’t help the smirk as Luz threw the doll up into the air and King pushed her down so he could catch it before her.

    “It’s okay Francois.” He comforted the doll before shoving it in Luz’s face “Get your revenge!”

    Luz was cackling as she tried to stop the doll.

    “You can join them if you want.”  Eda appearing beside him made Hunter jump. He clutched his chest trying to calm his heart. Eda chuckled at him. “They are always down for more playmates.”

    “I don’t play games.” Hunter stated tensing as he could feel Eda’s judgement.

    “There’s no harm in it.” Eda shrugged. “Unless you want more chores?” She offered.

    “Nope, I’m fine.” Hunter stood and started walking to the two children. He already was struggling finding time to think with the amount of chores he had already.

    He could feel Edas smirk as he approached the creature sitting on Luz hitting her with his doll.

    “Hunter?” Luz stopped now holding Kings arm from hitting her- proving she could’ve done it at any point.

    “It’s the angsty blond kid.” King piped in looking up at Hunter, not paying any mind to the fact Luz proved she could stop him.

    “Who calls me that?” Hunter hadn’t meant to snap.

    “Hooty.” King and Luz said at the same time.

    Whatever it didn’t matter .

    “Do you need something?” Luz asked.

    “Eda wants me to hang out with you.” Hunter crossed his arms. Though he wondered if Eda was even still watching or if he could’ve opted out of this. It worked with building trust anyway.

    “Isn’t Gus watching you?” Luz pushed King off of her and King sat next to her on the deck.

    Hunter shrugged. “Yeah, He’s talking to Willow.” He motioned his head the direction of the two.

    “Are you gonna play with us?” King asked with big eyes.

    He didn’t play games.

    But if it meant building trust.

    He shrugged.

    Luz grinned. That was probably a good thing?

    “Yay!” King jumped up to his feet. “This is Francois.” He introduce the octopus doll to Hunter. “If you want Francois not to kill you. You’ll bow to your king!” King did a little pose to try to be scary.

    Hunter was not going to bow to this child. 

    “Francois attack!” King threw the doll Hunter but Hunter caught it.

    “Maybe this game isn’t right for Hunter.” Luz reasoned with King.

    “Who wouldn’t enjoy bowing to me?” King pouted crossing his arms. “Okay, fine. What do we play instead?”

    Luz looked to Hunter as if to silently ask ‘what do you want to do?’

    Hunter didn’t know, He never had time for such silly things as games . He shrugged.

    “A game for a navy boy?” King pondered aloud. “A game for a navy boy. I know!” He waved his finger in the air. “Let’s reenact the story book! The chapter where the girl finds the crazy witch.” 

    “I don’t think Hunter’s read it.” Luz sighed at the childs idea.

    “It’s fine! We’ll tell him how to act. Make him be that little demon dog thing the witch had.” King insisted. “I’ll be the evil witch and Luz can be the human girl!”

    “What is he talking about?” Hunter scoffed.

    “It’s this book Edas been reading to him.” Luz explained. “Just go along with it.”

    Which is how Hunter ended up following King around as he pretended to be an evil witch. Cackling at random things, mixing ‘potions’ and selling things of no value for a high price. Hunter mostly just observed Luz and King play the game as they said lines of dialogue from said book, he only responded when they told him what he was supposed to say. It was mostly little roars that Hunter put no energy behind.

    It was strange.

    It wasn’t until they ‘finished the chapter’ that the two were done. King decided he was done playing and gave Luz a hug before leaving to the captains quarters.

    “That was really cool of you.” Luz leaned against the rails with Hunter.

    He just made a fool of himself. How was that cool?

    “I know you were bored the whole time.” Luz continued. “It was a nice thing to do.” 

    He did something right.

    “I didn’t mind.” Hunter lied. He was insanely annoyed by the child's demanding ways but in the end it seemed to have been worth it.

    “You so did.” Luz gave a little punch to Hunters arm.

    Why did she punch him? It didn’t hurt but still? He thought he done good?

    “Woah.” Luz put her hand in the air in defense. “It wasn’t an attack, don't look at me like that.”

    “You punched me?” Hunter questioned holding the spot she had. 

    “It was a friendly punch.” Luz explained. “Sorry I didn’t mean to insult you.”

    Oh. Who does that?

    Hunter didn’t respond. He shouldn’t have jumped to defense so quickly, that wasn’t how one earned trust.

    “Are you enjoying Rulers Reach?” Luz changed the topic after a few moments of silence.

    Right, the book. That was something to talk about.

    “Yeah.” Hunter did not lie. He was enjoying it. “There’s a lot of violence but it's an interesting read. I like how Princely describes the world.”

    “Complex.” Luz repeated as if she didn't agree- which she'd be wrong not to. “How far did you get?”

    “Luzara just killed that evil mayor. '' Hunter shrugged. “I can’t remember the mayor's name but he was an asshole. Hiding all the stuff from everyone. I was so happy he died.” He bit his lip to fight the urge to ramble about everything he’s read already. He needed this girl to like him and not be annoyed at him.

    “Well I won’t spoil anything.” Luz smiled. “Just treat my book good.”

    “I am.” Hunter assured. 

    “If there’s any new tears in it I’ll know.” Luz teased with a little glare.

    Luz’s weakness was that she trusted too easily. She was so kind to him when she didn’t know him. She was naive.

    Which was great for Hunter.

-------------

    It was a week now that Hunter had joined the crew. He still was stand-off-ish and only talked when spoken to, except on special occasions. Gus had been surprised to see the boy playing with King and Luz. It clearly wasn’t his taste so Gus had to assume someone- probably Eda- had pushed him to do it. 

    Gus also noticed that the boy had started reading. Luz had lended him her copy of Rulers Reach and when Gus asked about it to Hunter the boy seemed to be thoroughly enjoying it as he ended up rambling about this part he was on before cutting himself off. 

    Hunter was nervous to be himself.

     or

    Perhaps Hunter didn't allow himself to be himself.

    Gus could recognize it. He himself used to have the nervousness of fitting in back home. No one liked the boy who had “visions.” He’d gotten used to the behavior of others and overtime met Willow. Willow who needed him as much as he needed her. Until they got caught up with Luz- the pirate.

    Luz had a way of breaking into people's hearts. It was only a matter of time before Hunter was attached. He already seemed to be on track of calling her a friend. Even if the ex-navy denied it.

    Hunter seemed to still be one of the main conversations of the crew. As Bump’s island grew nearer they were curious what the boy was going to do. Luz was worried he’d leave, but some were worried he’d stay.

    Gus had a feeling the boy was going to stay. 

Luz was up in the crows nest calling the ships and which side they were on as they approached Bumps island. They had no worry of coming up on a fight around here as this was neutral area. Everyone knew better than to fight in Bump’s zone. He was a powerful ex-captain to make upset. 

    As they pulled into port Gus could make out the busy docks. It seemed everyone was stopping here right now. 

    “Alright kids.” Eda called from the top story of the deck looking down at the kids who always seemed to gather as they anchored. “You know the deal, everyone grabs a partner. Don’t get into trouble you can’t get out of, and don’t let no measly merchant scam you but always feel free to scam them” She waved. “We’ll be in port for at least three days unless Alador deems we need more time for repairs.”

    Gus could see Hunter talking to Luz already planning to partner with her. 

    No that wouldn't do. 

    “Hey Amity.” Gus gave a little pat to Amitys shoulder. “Doesn’t Hunter owe you a favor?” He motioned his head to Luz. 

    He could see the gears in Amitys head turning. “Yes, How do you know about that? Oh nevermind Hunter!” She went after Hunter so she could trade partners. 

    Edric and Emira were already paired up which just left.

    “What’s taking so long?” Matt demand. They always ended up pairing up. Matt was a hard person for most to get along with.

    “I am actually supposed to be with Hunter.” Gus lied. “You can ask Willow?” He suggested walking away before the other boy could whine and complain about sticking Hunter with Willow.

    “Hey Hunter?” Gus smiled as he reached the blond boy. “Need a partner?”

     Gus had suspicions about the boy.

     And he was going to get answers.

7TH Chapter Tumblr Link

[thefamilyeldritchabomination]

Chapter Ten: Thank You For The Venom Pt. 6

 “Put Dolly on the phone!” Freddy whines and yells into the phone, Envy looking like they’re ready to snarl.

 “Well, that was rude of you. No ’how are you’ or even a ‘I hope you’re doing well’, you really are the most ill mannered target I’ve had in a very long time.” Envy said with a bit of a slithering sort of hiss in their tone.

 “Fine! I hope you’re doing well, now put Dolly on the phone line!” Freddy said in an annoyed huff at Envy. “I supposed I could consider this as a start, I’ll give you only two minutes to speak with Dolly as a reward for improving your manners.” Envy held the phone out to Dolly, not wanting to deal with the screeches on the phone.

 “Freddy, what’s wrong now? It's been only a week and the Armstrongs are just sounding like a rather lovely family.” Dolly asked, hoping it wasn’t to complain about the really nice family he was staying with.

 “It's not that for once! When I woke up this morning, getting ready for another day in hell when I saw it! I got a thick ass beard growing in and it's awful!” Freddy started crying on the phone, his first beard growth starting to kick in. “You got your first face fur?! Freddy, that’s great news! Your parents are going to be so thrilled with the news and will likely ship over the family face fur jewelry!” Dolly sounded rather happy upon hearing that this was happening, Envy nearly choking on a laugh at the ‘face fur’ comment. “But it makes me look so old!” Freddy complained, the brussling from the beard could be heard up against the phone’s speakers. “But Freddy, that face fur is important, especially where we live. You won’t get the red nose anymore from the cold.” Dolly said, trying to calm Freddy down over his first face fur. “Wait, no more red nose?” Freddy asked, his attention off from the beard growing in. “Well yes, it’ll keep your face warm and usually doesn’t cause a red nose to show up.” Dolly said in the gentlest and softest of tones to get Freddy used to the very strong family trait.

 “Maybe the beard isn’t so bad…” Freddy was calming down and starting to accept having a beard has a really good perk.

 “Exactly, plus you know the tradition of getting your first face fur is getting cake, right? So that’s something to also be looking forward to as well.” Dolly added, hoping this would get Freddy fully accepting the beard. “Will it be a strawberry cake?” Freddy asked, his voice calms a bit after hearing cake is involved. “Yes, it’ll be a strawberry cake. I’ll even have the strawberries soak in some wine too before being placed inside.” Dolly confirmed, knowing how to make that cake to how Freddy would like it.

 “I guess this beard isn’t so bad..” Freddy finally accepted the beard and was a lot less whiny about it.

 “Okay, I’ll get to work on that cake then. I’ll be handing you back to Envy, please be kind.” Dolly held the phone out to Envy to allow them to talk to Freddy, a grin wide on their face with ‘face fur’ being a strong factor.

 “Congratulations Freddy, you now have the nickname of ‘Face Fur Fred’ from now on.” Envy began, snickering maliciously away at the nicely gift wrapped nickname.

 “At least I’m getting cake and beard jewelry.” Freddy shot back over on the phone. “Like I’d care, Face Fur Fred, we’ll be picking you up tomorrow in your new car, so be ready to return to the apartment by then.” Envy instructed, a snicker still in their horrid gremlin voice. 

 Before Freddy could say anything else, Envy hung up the phone, laughing away big time at the face fur nickname. Even Lust was stifling a laugh from coming out after hearing the term Dolly used for a beard, leaving Dolly a bit confused at the reaction. The only one not laughing was Gluttony, who was adjusting the radio antenna after it started to get a bit fuzzy. Envy, still laughing, started heading for the bathroom. “I’m going to rinse up, get me if Sloth comes over to complain. I wanna see her beg for a change.” Envy said as they closed the door behind them.

 Finally, Envy had some alone time to themself as they carefully covered the mirror with a towel. It had been luck beforehand to have gotten the faucets replaced with black cast iron ones, no reflections on them which was something they had preferred. Feeling relaxed now that everything that could cast a reflection had been covered up, Envy calmly shifted into their true form. This was a downside to Envy’s shapeshifting, their actual clothing shifted along with them and if those clothes got wet, they would be feeling it the whole time while in the preferred form. There was a scowl on Envy’s face as they forgot just how tall and cumbersome their true form was unlike their much more agile preferred form as they got ready to shower. The only thing they had relaxed a bit was not having to see their true form’s face, it made Envy think too much of their father from how close the resemblance was. 

 The warm water sprinkling down took Envy’s mind off of their father for the time being and started to relax a bit. Scrubbing away the gross sewer residue and the possible diseases that were down there was the main focus at this point. Perhaps afterwards, Envy could get their order in for the lab rats to test out that possible blood quirk. It’ll give Envy a good reason to terminate the deal with the chimera Shou Tucker, he was after all a waste of resources. Perhaps a good opportunity to try out making bone weaponry ideas that Dolly had unknowingly given Envy earlier. That delighted Envy to no end, having a weapon that could not only inflict physical damage, but psychological damages as well. There was one problem, Dolly was now asking questions and Envy wasn’t sure how to tackle that one just yet. Perhaps they could do story trading as before, afterall, it did give Envy the idea of testing rats.

 The shower had done its job as Envy turned it off and went to dry off. Half way through getting their clothing on was when Envy heard the knock on the bathroom door. Excellent, Sloth had arrived and Envy had that signature vicious grin on their face as they sped up the dressing process before shifting to the preferred form. It was such a much easier form to manage than the true form as Envy removed the towel from the mirror and tossed it to the floor. Exiting out, still grinning like they had murdered someone, Envy came out to see Sloth with her neutral mask broken. Instead, on Sloth’s face was mild annoyance as she had an armful of her belongings, standing at the door.

[two-sides-samecoin]

i just spent however long reading all of your st posts and you're so right all the time! i adore steve and robin (and vickie). steve is my guy, my bitchy baby girl, my badass loser. robin is my girl, my awkward polyglot, my annoyed loser. stobins dynamic is top notch, they are soulmates, they're drift compatible, they want to combine into one person. and i'm so tired of people acting like anyone else can have this dynamic. i've seen too many posts (which any in the first place but it's been at least 6) in which people put eddie and nancy into the bathroom scene and it makes me want to pull my hair out. and there's so many things i want to put into this post ab how the fandom and st canon treats steve (overall, within his relationship w everyone, how they treat the concept of popularity (bc people like steve! he's a person people enjoy being around! he wouldn't be popular otherwise.), his intelligence (he's framed as stupid but his intelligence hasn't changed and he is, in fact, smart! and he's so emotionally intelligent and aware of everything) and how people say they love him and robin and stobin but don't actually like or understand any of them, etc.) and how vickie is amazing and vibes so well w robin and that she understands both robin and steve bc she has some similarities both personality wise and w her interests, and how people reduce robin to nancys (fanon) love interest or to bitchy autistic lesbian. (extrapolating on any of that would be like 6 asks and you've talked ab a lot of it already). and now i've decided that steves never done anything wrong bc he was genuinely in the right 98% of the time in s1, but people are acting stupid, so now he was always right. and honestly, i consider his s3 actions of letting erica and dustin go w them ooc bc in s2, he absolutely would've never, and nothing that happened between then and now would've changed his feelings on that. maybe i'm wrong on that, but it feels ooc to me. and he hasn't done anything wrong in any other season. also, i loved your post ab how steve became the person he is bc of trauma, how he doesn't freak out bc he knows he can't, he's the one stepping up to protect everyone and if he falters, he dies and everyone else is gonna be in more danger. any posts ab any of this make me go feral, so. anyways, sorry for ranting in your asks, i just kinda lost it a bit as soon as i started typing lol ✨️

thank you so much for taking the time to read all of them that’s so sweet 🥹

also this is long so going to put it under read more! :)

aww i’m so happy that you love these characters! they really are so wonderful and i love how you’ve described steve and robin <3 legit stobin means so much to me and you’re right i’m so tired of people acting like any other dynamic can have their friendship. ahh i hate when people put eddie or nancy in the stobin scene. or like even mention them because no no no you’re totally forgetting the purpose of this scene. which is funny because people have complained about steve stan’s not being respectful of this scene but like we high key are. but people want to make this scene about one of their ships when the whole point is about robin deciding to come out to steve. it has nothing to do with who her crush is on it’s about her own sexuality. and i’m sure you’ve seen me say this lol but it’s funny how the fandom wants queer representation meanwhile they completely bulldoze and ignore the wants/needs of queer characters. just to fulfill a ship they want.

everything you said about steve! i’ve even seen people legit put stars in steve’s name like this: st*ve which i guess do what you want but why can’t you even type a character’s name? i don’t want to keep repeating what you say so yes agree everything you said about steve’s treatment in fandom! i also 100% about vickie! ohh i need to talk about what you said about season 1 steve! people love to act like he was a devil or something but my dude just reacted to the fact that someone took pictures of him and his friends and girlfriend without his consent! then reacted to the fact that he believes his girlfriend cheated on him with the dude that took pictures of them when being a creep. like i would not act in a good way either. also like steve’s actions are on the same level as some of the other main character’s actions yet stan’s of their characters don’t have to say 24/7 the fact that their fav is an asshole.

about letting dustin and erica do that in season 3: i think it may be slightly ooc but also he’s faced against a kid who did go his own demands in a dire situation. i think after that he would realize that he can’t stop dustin from doing this so i think it may be easier to go along with it and steve can try to keep dustin and all of them safe. also we don’t know what happened between season 2 and 3 so i wonder if steve and dustin got caught up in shenanigans before

ahhh i’m so happy that you love that post <3 and yes yes exactly what you said about steve there. don’t say sorry because i love this rant! i love when people rant as i do it a lot lol and i love hearing people doing it. thank you so much for this!! :)