#corn <- i add corn for texture and because i like corn! you do not need to add it to make this yummy but it is yummy!

[miserye]

i just had subway and two things, one. i fucking love tuna and 2. that churro is a crime against humanity and they should be sued for selling something that bad

[secretsandwritings-blog]

Baby, you're my sugar

pairings - Cobra Kai characters x you/non-binary reader

kg's notes - i just wanted to make something that was cute, fun, and overall a new layout of how I would present my headcanons. so here are the Cobra Kai characters sharing their favourite sweets with you, because they love you!

Demetri Alexopoulos - he would really love to share a Whatchamacallit or Cherry airhead with you and tear off small pieces and feed them to you. he goes from doing that to having it in his mouth to 'feed' you like that when you know the truth is he wants a kiss from you which you happily accept with chocolate on your face from the Whatchamacallit.

Miguel Diaz - he would love lots of Spanish candy and would tend to bring you back a lot of it, especially since he makes frequent trips to Mexico to visit family. the different varieties and textures make you both excited (and nervous) to try them and he'll make sure to take note of which candies you prefer so the two of you can enjoy them together, even if some of them aren't in his personal preferences but he likes seeing you happy.

Robby Keene - he's definitely spicier than anything actually sweet, but he tries to get something not so spicy for you to try, which makes you scoff and say you could handle it. he looks at you funny knowing that you're either lying to him or telling him the truth, either way he's intrigued about how motivated you are to try his "spicy" candies. if he doesn't eat candy he shares the corn nuts with you and you say the ranch flavor is your favourite.

Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz - he's the type who really appreciates sour candy and if you don't like it he's willing to share his dark chocolate with you. he wasn't raised eating candy, so you two would share a slice of fruit like: watermelon, apple, orange, or whatever kind he has in his pantry the moment. you actually started his love of chocolate (he would never admit this to your face but he would tell Demetri and Anthony) after telling him to get you some during your period since it helped you with the cramps, even though he retorted with a banana when you asked for the chocolate.

Anthony LaRusso - he would get the little variety packs like Kit Kats, Buenos, or anything chocolate related. he's not a big fan of regular-sized or larger chocolate (like King-size Hershey bars), since it now makes him uncomfortable to eat so much chocolate again. he would unwrap it and feed it to you instead of allowing you to make it yourself, although he would only allow you to take a couple of pieces of chocolate before hiding it in his room. he got better at hiding candy because you were sneaking around while he was trying to hide it once.

Samantha "Sam" LaRusso - similarly to Eli, she would rather eat fruit than real candy, but she sometimes eats real candy and it normally comes from Italy instead of here, America. she's not a fan of chewy or gummy candy, so the cappuccino candy she likes comes as a hard candy to make it last longer, plus she says it's better than the coffee you might get at a coffee shop. you're on the fence about that. it's not your favorite thing while it's hers and you offered her yours to see if she would like it and that is to be determined…

Tory Nichols - she's used to sharing a lot of things especially with her brother (Brandon) because that's all she knows, so it's no surprise when she offers you pieces of her chocolate. she's more on the bitter side of things like something rich—an espresso or a cappuccino if you will for her chocolate, although there are rare times when she would eat Sour Patch Kids or Jolly Ranchers (blue raspberry and watermelon are her favorite flavorus).

[I will add Kenny, Shawn, Aisha, and the adults depending on how well this does and I still need to finish my fic and the last two suggestions in my drafts right now]

[tonysaintborgi]

How can I make pizza better?! I've finally found a pizza dough recipe I like, but I still think pizza places make it better :(

okay so here's some things I've found that's improved my love of homemade pizza:

- a very light dusting of corn meal on the pan before placing the dough on will add that sort of dusty pizza texture

- the more garlic & italian seasonings you do the better

- consider instead of fresh garlic, doing garlic confit instead! this means making garlic confit ahead of time but it's so worth it. then use the oil you cook the garlic in to rub the crust with

- unless you like your pizza saucy, the less sauce you use the better tbh. also, if possible, make your own because store bought pizza sauce is usually too sweet

- a lil bit of salt

[marshmallow-biscuit-blog]

Being neurodivergent is so fun (/sarcastic) because you can stand there for a solid hour or two not being able to choose what to eat for a variety of reasons that only another neurodivergent people understand. Keep in mind these aren't meant to sound logical. Hence neurodivergent. We know it doesn't make sense logically, but we still feel what we feel. Texture Flavor Memories/association Doesn't go with today's mood You 'Don't deserve it today' If I eat this then I can't have this because it'll mess with this Misinterpreting/misremembering what something is Based on color Based on Order Wanting something mid-cooking and then changing your mind Simply a "I could have this or I could have that" and us being a little more emotional over the fact that we can't always have both at the same time. And then of course our dilemmas of when we do choose our food WHY IS IT TOUCHING WHY IS IT NOT MIXED (particularly added this one because there's some food I physically cannot eat unless they're mixed and I think it's an OCD thing, like mashed potatoes and corn-) PLEASE feel free to add on! I love hearing what other people have in their heads. These are just ones that i have on a daily basis. <3

[laundryandtaxes]

@fetusdeletustotalus I actually happened to take pictures the most recent time I made beef burgundy, which is very handy here. What I usually make is basically an extremely simplified, totally stove-top version of the dish. I don't necessarily reference a specific recipe, but ATK has a version called Modern Beef Burgundy that's similar, though theirs is much more complex and probably, resultingly, better. I find that using fairly few ingredients works perfectly well for me, and allows me to cook this routinely without any fuss and without needing a special trip to the grocery store for anything other than a shallot if I'm out or some fresh thyme. I rely on method to build flavor, and it works for me.

Basically, for one pot:

1 lb or more of chunks of high connective tissue beef- I usually just buy what is labelled "stew beef" by the grocery store

As many carrots as I want (about twice the amount pictured), half cut into circles and half cut into quartered chunks

One onion, half cut into big chunks and half diced

A tablespoonish of butter

1 shallot, half quartered and half sliced

As much garlic as I'd like

As many potatoes as I'd like, cut to roughly similar sizes and then submerged in cold water to keep them fresh in the fridhe while everything else works. This recent batch featured maybe too many potatoes even for me, an extreme lover of potatoes

1 bay leaf

A few sprigs of thyme

3ish cups of chicken broth (not beef broth, because the storebought stuff just isn't good ime, though I've been meaning to experiment with better than bouillon beef since the chicken is so good)

3ish cups of red wine, ideally something drinkable and robust

Corn starch dissolved into a little bit of cold water- more than I, at least, initially guessed I would need

S&P

Prep all your items, and you can spend almost no time touching anything after the first few minutes.

Steps post prep:

Sear beef over medium high heat in a generousish amount of oil, just enough to get sufficient color on all chunks. I salt in the pan, and cook in batches. The reason I do this is to prevent crowding the dutch oven/steaming the meat rather than frying it. Once a chunk is ready, set it aside on a plate, etc, working in batches. You will need to monitor heat, and likely lower it at some point in this process to prevent oil smoking or anything burning. This is the only step that's trickyish.

Lower heat to medium low. Add a tablespoonish of butter. I do this for yumminess reasons and because it helps to prevent the oil/beef fat in the pan from burning. Add in the roughly chopped half of the carrots and alliums. S&P in pan. Cook until everything has some light charring. Then, add in chicken stock, wine, the bay leaf, and maybe 2 sprigs of fresh thyme. Salt again. The reason that I do this is basically to make a richer beef stock- the flavor from these carrots and onions is part of the stock, and these will eventually become mush. These are not to be eaten as pieces.

Bring to a low/moderate boil and let it reduce a little. I let it reduce until I no longer really strongly smell wine. At that point, add in beef chunks, submerging them as much as possible in liquid. Reduce to a simmer. Walk away and forget the stew for a minimum of 2 hours.

Pull beef chunks, set aside. Pour the stew liquid into a bowl through a strainer. You will be left with very mushy vegetables and your herbs in the strainer, and basically finished stew stock in the bowl. Toss the bay leaf and thyme. I personally mash the vegetables up as much as possible, then add them to the stew and stir as much as possible. If I were being sophisticated, I might immersion blend the veggies in for texture uniformity. But it's stew, and I don't have an immersion blender and this sure isn't worth using a standard blender for me. The only reason I don't just mash the vegetables in the dutch oven is that I use a potato masher and don't like using metal in my dutch oven. Otherwise, I'd just mash it in the pan directly after removing the beef.

Put everything back into the pot, and add your more nicely cut carrots, onions, and potatoes. Simmer for another 30 minutes minimum.

Prep corn starch. Once added to the stew, bring it to a boil for a minute minimum to allow the corn starch to set up.

Profit

Basically, once the veg is cut and the meat is seared, you're doing very little. This is definitely not the most classic or involved beef burgundy, it's just how I personally choose to make beef stew when I make it. Some people like to remove the fat from the broth, and there is a special measuring cup sort of device you can purchase cheaply for that purpose, or you can use an ice and ladle trick that I've heard works well. Or you can do what I do and just leave it.

[bonefall]

Clanmew Masterpost

Clanmew is a constructed language made for Warrior Cats that I, @bonefall, run with my buddy @troutfur! I make the vocab and he does the grammar. I hope that this post will become a good, central place to keep links to everything we've done so far.

CURRENT VERSION: 1.0 LAST UPDATE: 6/3/2023

Clanmew is an OSV-order language, made with the sounds cats make in mind. "Base Clanmew" is built around the Clan Culture updates of the Better Bones AU, which means it is made with the ecology of southwestern Northern England in mind and only contains words for plants and animals found there. It also has phrases for cooking and crafting.

(specific regions modeled: Lancashire, Chester, Manchester, Merseyside, Clwydd is modeled for river biomes specifically)

You are free to use it for your own projects! We encourage you to consider how this language would evolve in your Clan's history, and add or remove words to make a dialect that reflects the culture's feelings and needs.

THE BASICS:

Everything you need to know for basic structure is in CLANMEW 101. Start here.

We have a constantly updating LEXICON of all the words we have made so far.

Have you made a dialect? Let me know and I can link you here so others can see what you're doing with it!

Below the cut:

In-universe information; How Clanmew evolved linguistically

"Expansion Pack" posts where I discuss etymology

Pronunciation stuff (until I make that IPA chart I keep promising)

Working translations; Names, parables, OC submissions

Dialect submissions (These are manned by other people!)

Historical Trivia

The linguistic evolution of Clanmew from Old Tribemew and Parkmew

Animals are named for the sounds they make.

How pronouns for objects change based on how the speaker feels about it.

More, using human examples

there is a secret post about cursing but you have to find that on your own ;)

Through Time Travel Shenanigans, Hollyleaf's name evolves into the word "Scourge"

The Clanmew Play-by-Play of that

The word for Everything

How hard is it for speakers of the other in-universe languages to pick up Clanmew?

On nicknames!

Squirrelpaw and Crowfoot discover corn

The names of the three ideologies... also thistles.

The Invalid Five

Expansion Packs

Colors

Directions, way-finding

Spirituality terms

Rocks

Beetles

Follow up: some plant parts

Patch (pattern) vs Patch (plants)

Den, camp, territory, construction

The two violets

Shapes of flowers

Volume

Generic terms

Rollypollies and centipedes

Insults

Rain... because this is England

The Clan Clock; time terms

The four seasons

Clerics and Common Herbs

Roses

Water movement

BIRDS AND BATS

Finches

Texture

Dogs

Mint

Parts of fur

Forest terms

Foxes, parts of a forest

Cuckoo bird

DEER

Shade and understorey

Cedar

Waterside words

Pronunciation Stuff

Closest thing to an IPA chart I currently have

My process for coming up with words based on vibes

I was asked for more behind-the-scenes stuff so here you go?

How I hold my mouth when I speak

Trout Tips

How would Clan cats pronounce the Slavic TS, or the word pizza?

On the Double yy

Working translations

BB!Scourge's new warrior name, Iceheart, in Clanmew... and Nightheart!

Light, moon, wind, BB!Raggedstar's pre-honor title name

OC SUBMISSION: Flameshell, Fogwhisper, Willowsong

OC SUBMISSION: Lichennose, Mudthistle, Longpounce

OC SUBMISSION: Fallensky

PACK PACK KILL KILL

"I love you"

Baby talk

"What have I done?"

"Fool Tale"

How to Clanmew-ify a strange word

Dishonor Title for "Mudpuddle"

OC SUBMISSION: Riverrunner, multiple-word names, walking words

OC SUBMISSION: Firefang, Rabbitdash, Peachfeather, plus a bunch of words for weasel-like animals

Ivypool

The use of tense in names

PROPHECY SUBMISSION: "Dust and flame will combine to destroy home"

Skywatcher

OC SUBMISSION: The Caldwell Family

Foxheart

Runningnose

PROPHECY SUBMISSION: Six will come of every rank

OC SUBMISSION: Witherstrike

"I like this" and also parasitic worms

Prism, rainbow-color

OC SUBMISSION: Piebald Creature

Gayheart

Sneeze and Knockout

OC SUBMISSION: Penny-fitzgerald

OC SUBMISSION: Voidwhisper, Chalkwhistle

OC SUBMISSION: Poppyflare, Spikemane, Blizzardfang

OC SUBMISSION: Burning Hawk-fur

Mistyfoot

BRAMBLESTAR BUTCHERS THE BLOSSOMKIT NAMES

Dialect Submissions

Pfurr Clanmew (@troutfur)

[battleangel]

I Am Not My Hair

What actually happens if I shave my head bald?

Why cant I see what I look like without hair?

Why do I have to be sick or have cancer or be dying?

Why am I not allowed as a woman to just shave my head?

Why do I need a reason, a justification, an explanation?

Why do I have to justify being hairless?

Why are people acting like Im dying and have cancer just because Im bald?

Nothing happens. Thats the gag.

Youve been taught to fear.

Its just my bald head. Why is that forbidden?

Verboten?

Why cant I ever see what my actual head looks like without all this hair on it?

Why cant I see what my face looks like without it constantly being surrounded by hair?

What if I like being bald?

What if I like not spending $1200+ a year on my hair?

What if I like not styling my hair?

What if I like not doing anything with my hair other than cutting it super short, about an inch or two, every few months?

Why does it threaten people for a woman not to care about her hair?

I dont want to go to a hair salon or barbershop.

I dont want to go back to an afro.

I dont want locs or dreads.

I dont want shaved sides, I already did that last year.

I dont want corn rows or bantu knots, Ive done that too.

I dont want to grow it out.

I dont want a $500 lace front wig.

I dont want a wig professionally installed by a stylist every 2 to 3 months.

I dont want to wash or brush my hair.

I dont want to put any products in my hair.

Why is it a sin for a black woman to not want to grow her hair out?

I dont want my "long beautiful" hair back.

I dont want it halfway down my back again.

I dont want it to my waist again.

I dont want to relax it again -- there are lawsuits against Loreal, black women who used Just For Me and other chemical relaxers to straighten their hair are being diagnosed with cancer, inferitility and fibroids.

The chemicals in a relaxer are strong enough to break down and destroy the natural texture of your curly coiled kinks and force it to be straight -- those same chemicals are also strong enough to literally peel paint off of cars -- why are you putting this directly on your scalp for an hour plus every 2 to 3 months from the time you are a pre-teen or in high school until adulthood, for decades, and thinking that there wont be health issues?

They target products to Black women that kill them.

Remember the little Black girls that sang the R&B pop jingle in the Just For Me commercial?

"Just for me...hair so healthy, silky and free."

Who was that song for?

This was the 90s and there were multiple Black girl groups back then -- TLC, 702, Blaque, Xscape, Jade, Total, MoKenStef, etc. -- they wanted to get us while we were young so we would keep using their products until adulthood. 

I got my first perm, I am 4C, at 11. I was so glad my mother stopped burning me with the hot comb that she had tortured me with since I was 5. Anything was better than that as I had a very sensitive scalp or "tenderheaded" as it is called in our community.

I couldnt wait to go to Touch of Magic salon where my older sister already had her long, silky hair. I was tired of being tortured by a hot ass comb that was constantlu burning my fucking scalp and I was tired of being told to "sit still" while my scalp was being fucking burned. I couldnt wait for the Revlon Fabulaxer so the dreaded golden hot comb could be forever banished from my existence.

From 11 to 34, 23 years, I faithfully got  a relaxer at the salon every 2 to 3 months. It was about $120+ (relaxer, deep condition, style, split ends, color, etc.). Over the years, that fucking adds up, over $100k I spent on my hair. Even when I went natural at 34, my 4c hair is extremely thick, kinky, nappy, unruly and very difficult to deal with. People have literally broken combs trying to comb through it. Needless to say, I couldnt manage anything myself but a wash and go so I spent thousands at the salon as a 4c natural on Senegalese twists, box braids, Bantu knots, corn rows, twist outs, twist updos and flat twists. 

Then I shaved my sides and cut my hair super short and started going to barber shops but I was dyeing it fuschia back then so my hair was still costing me money.

Then last year, I finally just grabbed kitchen scissors out of my kitchen and hacked it myself and decided I was never going to go back to a salon or barbershop.

I was going to cut my hair with kitchen scissors myself every 2 to 3 months. I do like different looks so I have five cheap synthetic shitty wigs that are different colors (blue, blonde, green, black). Depending on the lewk and fit, either I just wear my hair natural and short or I slap a wig on.

But thats it. No maintenance, no upkedp, no hair care routines, no wasting away a Saturday at a salon, no barbershops, no wash and gos, no 15 hour sessions getting braided extensions. 

Just literally cutting it with kitchen scissors every 2 to 3 months and slapping on a cheap shitty wig whenever I have a certain fit or lewk and thats it.

Then in August, I decided to shave my head bald. I didnt want even a few inches of hair anymore so I grabbed my husbands razor and shaved it. Didnt go to a barbershop or stylist. Had no idea how to even use the razor and just shaved it all off in under 10 minutes. I loved the bald look especially with thick ass winged liquid eyeliner, bold dramatic eyeshadow and colorful lipstick.

I have a few inches of growth that in a month or two, I will grab the kitchen scissors again and cut my hair down to an inch or two. Ill do that every few months. I love it bald but even shaving my head on a regular basis is more time than I choose to devote to my hair. Cutting it with scissors to an inch or two every 2 to 3 months is my absolute limit.

As a woman, thats not allowed.

Especially as a Black woman.

And I was raised by a Southern Baptist fundamentalist, so forget about it.

You have to obsess over your hair, products, styling, color, length, look, appearance, texture, curl pattern, thickness, volume, care routines, pre poo, deep conditoning, tea tree oil, diffusing, texturizing, blow out, straightening, relaxing, lace front wig installations, weaves, kanekalon, bundles, braids, twists, locs, dreads, corn rows, bantu knots...

You cant just not do your hair!

Only you can. Because thats exactly what I do.

Even as a Black woman and we are brainwashed to be absolutely obsessed with our hair.

Go back and look at the hysteria India Arie caused when she shaved her "beautiful curls".

Just like India Arie, I am not my hair.

[niennawept]

Moon Dumplings: A Pan-Elven Cultural Debate in Three Documents (Part 2)

Warning(s): None Rating: Gen Summary: The origins of moon dumplings, shared amongst all branches of elven kindred, are a source of frequent arguments, both culinary and scholarly. Part 1 is here.

Selected Interviews from Díril’s research into moon dumpling origins, transcribed in her own hand

Q: When did you first hear of moon dumplings?

A: They were with us even at Cuiviénen. Had them often when the nights got very cold. They are warming, you know. Good for putting some meat on your bones. You are too skinny, young lady. Respondent 1: a Sindarin elleth of unknown age, asked to estimate she shrugged and said “we did not count years back then”

A: Not until we were nearing the Anduin on the Great Journey. We made lembas out of Valarin corn, but it was not until we halted to wait for better conditions for crossing that those with minds for cooking learned to make the dough. Respondent 2: a Nandorin ellon, born approximately ninety winters before the Journey at Cuiviénen

A: They were invented during the hottest days, of course. Stews and porridges are hearty and delicious, but they leave something to be desired when it gets too warm out. The calming influence of the stars will set that right. [interviewer prompts “can you estimate the year?”] Oh! Right after Oromë gave the Noldor the right type of flour. We kept them secret, you know, from the other kindred. Respondent 3: an Exilic Noldorin elleth, who was born on the Great Journey

A: I do not remember. When I was still a small child. Respondent 4: an Avari ellon, who remembered choosing to stay rather than joining the Great Journey

Q: Why are they called moon dumplings?

A: They were not originally called that. It was only after the moon and his phases that folk changed their name. They used to be called “starbeads.” Respondent 1

Respondent 2 declined to answer.

A: Because they are cured under moonlight these days. What do they teach you in Lindon, girl? Respondent 3

A: We do not call them that. We call them “starbeads.” [respondent says something mostly inaudible, but a portion of it contained the phrase “new names for old things”] Respondent 4

Q: Who invented them?

A: The Noldor. I already told you that. Respondant 3

All other respondents declined to answer.

Q: Are the fillings of this dumpling sweet or savory?

A: Either, whatever is available. Respondent 1

A: Sweet, always. Respondent 2

A: Savory, always. Respondent 3

A: Both, sometimes. Respondent 4

Q: What is the traditional filling for these dumplings?

A: Oh, all sorts. Anything that will not tear the skin while cooking. No one wants to be picking out little bits of burned vegetables from a steam basket. It is important that the filling is soft either by nature or by cooking first. [interviewer asks “which were the most common?”] Mushrooms, wild plants, sometimes fish or fowl. Respondent 1

A: We begin by collecting sap from maple trees, which is boiled to remove impurities and concentrate the flavor. We filter it and add dried fruits and minced nuts. When it has cooked down and become rather sticky, we fill the dumplings. Respondent 2

A: Meat, obviously. [interviewer prompts “what kind of meat?”] Whatever can be gotten with relative ease. Respondent 3

A: Minced nuts are most usual. Respondent 4

Q: Are there alternate fillings that are acceptable?

A: I have already answered that question. Respondent 1

A: Absolutely not. Respondent 2

A: Have you taken leave of your senses? No. Respondent 3

A: Fruit is also common. Respondent 4

Q: What texture should the dumpling wrapping be?

A: They should have a texture that requires a bit of chewing. The flavor improves with more moonlight. Respondant 2

All other respondents answered with a variation of “not tough [like the Nandorin variety.]”

For @silmarillionepistolary week

[haveyoureadthisfanfic]

Ok so that was me who told you about Irish corn but now I feel like I oughta weigh in for real lol for all the picky eaters out there

I don't like mozzarella. I'll eat it in cheese sticks because the breading usually adds enough flavor, but as soon as they cool off I can't 😣 can't stand the texture

All that being said; I do like pizza! I usually just eat the toppings (sausage, beef, or ham usually) pull the cheese off, then eat the rest! Even when I make it myself and use parmesan I still eat it all separately lolol

BUT our local pizza place and Domino's make a thin crust with Alfredo sauce (instead of marinara) with ham and it's so good?? I eat it all at the same time including the cheese! Idk what it is about garlic that makes mozzarella bearable for me lol

You know, now that you mention it, as someone who adores cheese and would eat it all by itself, I don't think I would love eating mozzarell on its own. Love it on pizza. ADORE mozzarella sticks. Would DIE for mozzarella sticks. Would not eat a hunk of mozzerell on its own.

[dearbisexual]

i have perfected my method for "lazy" vegetable fried rice and im going to share it with y'all because it tastes good, takes about 10 mins to make, and actually gets me to eat vegetables!! AND THERES NO CHOPPING INVOLVED, IF YOU SO CHOOSE. it also only dirties one pan, one spatula, and one plate and utensil(s) if you do it right, are you sold yet? idc let's go

ingredients:

leftover rice - hard requirement. im told by the internet it tastes the best if it's been refrigerated. but if you want to use fresh rice thats fine too, but that's an extra step and just know that i won't be listing that as a step below. you can use whatever kind of rice you want, ive been using basmati rice because my sister bought a GIANT bag of it and we've been making it for dinner a lot

vegetables - hard requirement. you can use fresh but 1) that requires chopping which is extra steps and cleanup. dad likes to buy these frozen "mixed vegetables" bags and they cook in the microwave in the bag and ive been using those, theyve got corn, peas, green beans, and carrots. you can obviously choose different frozen vegetables, they sell em in different mixes at the store

soy sauce - hard requirement. i don't have any notes for this one. use whatever kind of soy sauce you prefer

butter - soft requirement. recommended because it tastes good and most ppl have it but if you'd prefer, you can use a vegetable oil of your choice

sesame oil - soft requirement BUT EXTREMELY RECOMMENDED. it tastes so good. i know everyone may not be able to splurge for it or may have a sesame allergy but it's honestly what makes this taste so good for me

one egg - optional. fried rice usually has bits of egg in it like traditionally but i tried it and im not a fan of the added eggy flavor. i like the texture though, i might experiment with tofu in the future

hardware:

medium sized pan

spatula or similar

directions:

preheat your pan on medium heat. if you're using frozen vegetables, i recommend microwaving them for like, 2 mins to soften them up. they don't have to be piping hot, but they cook better if they're not totally frozen.

add about a tablespoon or two of butter to your pan. if you want egg, go ahead and fry your egg in the pan and put it to the side when it's to your liking, to be added back in later. once the veggies are softened, add as much or as little as you'd like to the pan. lightly drizzle in some sesame oil and soy sauce and saute for a few minutes, or until the veggies are hot.

IMPORTANT NOTE: if you add too much sesame oil, (or butter) your rice WILL be too greasy and give you a stomach ache (trust me). less is more here.

anyway, when the veggies are hot and have yknow mingled with the sesame oil and soy sauce, toss in your rice and stir fry. add a little more soy sauce if you think it needs it, but remember that you can always add in soy sauce to taste when you're done. add in your egg if you fried one, chopping it up with the spatula.

finally, once the rice has browned to your liking, slap it on a plate. you can wait for it to cool to dig in but i don't

and that's it! if you make this, you're required to tell me what you think, pretty please.

ALSO this is NOT an "authentic" fried rice recipe and i realize that, this is just something tasty i make for myself to eat vegetables.

ok that's it i love you bye

[moopsy-daisy]

Make Your Own Cosmetics, Get What You Actually Want

Once you've been in zero waste, eco friendly, solarpunk/lunarpunk circles for a while, it's easy to forget the steps you took when you started. There are lots of DIY projects I've been doing for 10+ years now, and I keep doing them because they work (for me). Yet, when I sit back and think "am I doing enough?" I always gloss over the myriad things that have become part of my everyday life.

Making these things won't save the environment, but you'll get products that meet your needs on your terms, will save you money, and you won't have to worry about a company discontinuing your favorites. Plus, it seems like a lot less packaging to just buy a brick of beeswax and toss in some kitchen stuff you already had to make makeup.

Henna

I got really lucky, I always wanted red hair and henna is a natural dye that only comes in red. Well, more of a coppery tone. But, here's the other cool thing: the henna process is anti-fungal and controls dandruff. Half the time, I remember to color my hair because my scalp starts getting itchy 6+ weeks later and I start to get flakes. Coloring my hair takes care of my scalp and I don't need dandruff shampoo to keep it healthy. It's cost-effective, buying high quality henna for a year's worth of color (for my length and thicc hair) is about $60 for 18-months' of materials. I mix it when I need it, and keep the powder in the freezer. Pro-tip, if you or your partner don't like the grassy, hay-like smell of henna, add cardamom or ginger powder to the mix. It doesn't change the color but it'll knock down the scent.

I learned everything I needed to know about Henna for Hair here: http://hennaforhair.com and buy through Catherine's store because I know I'm getting real, quality henna powder.

Oh and a cloth wrap for your hair will let you keep the henna covered without wasting plastic wrap every time you redo your roots. I've been using the same 'turbie twist' wraps for years now. I made them from old t-shirts and they're stained as fuck. Who cares? This is basically their only job.

Carmine Lip Color

No, it isn't vegan. Yes, it's made of bugs. It's also a spectacular color, the insects aren't abused in the process of gathering or raising. They're actually parasites on nopal cactus, they have a simple niche and serve it well. I learned this lip stain recipe from Humblee & Me, and have found that the anti-bacterial doesn't seem to be necessary, ymmv. A 2.5 gram sample pack of carmine from TKB has lasted me almost a year and I wear this almost daily. I find that the glycerin really helps keep my lips from drying out too badly, so I wear my lip stain even when I'm not planning on being seen by other people. I spend about $20 on lip color for a year and that's including the bottles I use to store it (tiny eyedroppers work best imo) and the glycerin. Not quite zero waste but darn close.

Note: I'm still trying to find a simple recipe for black goth lipstick that I like. So far, my attempts have had a nasty texture and aren't worth the trouble.

Eyebrow Fill

My favorite brand of eyebrow liner discontinued the best color I ever found, so I decided to make my own. Beeswax, cocoa powder, activated charcoal, and almond oil made a little pot of eyebrow fill that suits my needs beautifully. Go super light on the charcoal until you know you've got the color you want. My brows are pretty dark but not fully black, so I do a dark chocolate sort of shade. I think I made my last batch about 11 months ago and it's still half full. I use it daily, apply with an angled brush, and it's never given me breakouts or anything. I don't even wash it off, because I am lazy.

Body Powder/Dry shampoo

Growing up in California, I didn't need this stuff. Living in Oregon? Summer would be awful without body powder. It's also a nice way to have a fragrance on. Pour your favorite perfume (I love Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab oils) onto a cotton ball, put that ball in a jar with a bunch of corn starch. Shake. Leave it for a month. You now have scented body powder. It's a decent dry shampoo, too, I just brush it into my dark hair and it disappears.

Tooth Powder

There is NOTHING wrong with using conventional toothpaste if it meets your needs. I have particular reasons for using tooth powder. These include hating the taste of most toothpaste and needing to avoid fluoride because of my particular thyroid condition. (Fluoride isn't bad for everyone! It isn't ideal for everyone. Figure out what you need!) I make my own tooth powder, it works well enough for me and I don't hate brushing my teeth like I used to. 1 part baking soda, 1 part bentonite clay, some ground cloves. Mix it up, keep in a glass jar (metal will bond with the clay, bad things happen, this is why we use glass or plastic for storage). $20 of materials = LOADS of tooth powder.

Cutting Hair

It's way easier than you think. I cut my own hair and I do a graduated bob which is a little more complex than most at-home cuts. I taught myself. I use decent shears (don't use scissors) and a Wahl hair trimmer set. Learn this skill on yourself, and when people find out you can do hair, they'll come to you for their own needs. Great way to provide mutual aid (one of my parents is trans and getting haircuts in a salon would be extremely stressful for her, so I cut her hair and save her money and suffering). You could also do skill trades! I trade haircuts for massages from a massage therapist friend, for example.

Protip: Dust yourself with body powder before cutting hair, it makes the little shards of cut hair way less prone to sticking to you. You'll still want a shower but it'll just be less icky.

[dare-to-dm]

Top five meals you cook?

Oooo, this is a nice question. I don't consider myself to be a great cook and I'm actually scared of using knives, but here are the top 5 meals in my wheelhouse:

Clam Chowder

This is my top comfort meal. I have a version I grew up with that is mainly made of canned ingredients that is so easy but still so delicious. But I've been experimenting lately with alterations that are more from scratch, some of which incorporate ingredients I can forage such as field garlic.

2. Carbonara

I've been practicing my carbonara sauce lately, and it's coming along well. I like to put it over cheese tortellini with peas. But also good over spaghetti noodles.

3. Ramen Salad

I get that as a salad I'm not technically cooking a dish. But then again, for this recipe I do toast my own almonds and sesame seeds, plus I add cooked chicken for protein. What I really like about this meal is how textural it is. The ramen noodles, cabbage, and almonds all give their own crunch variations and it's a fun mouth feel. Plus the vinegar based dressing packs a nice flavor punch.

4. Slow Cooker Corned Beef and Cabbage

I try to cook this not around Saint Patrick's day as corned beef is always super expensive around then. But it's really tasty and easy.

5. Ramen Noodles

Okay, this one may seem like something of a cop out, but honestly, when cooking I judge recipes not just on the quality of the finished product but also on the ease of making them. A fabulous meal that takes hours of stressful work to produce is not better than a simple meal that is quick and easy to make but still really delicious. And it doesn't get easier than packaged ramen noodles. I add frozen veggies and mess around with different seasonings and usually add a couple of eggs kind of poached on top. It takes less than 10 minutes to cook and is super delicious, has protein from the eggs and nutrients from the veggies. I limit myself from cooking this meal more than once a week if only because the sodium content is pretty insane.

[classicsstudentsunion]

Ancient Recipes: Apricot Dessert (Apicius, De re coquinaria)

Did you know when you Google Apicius, they call him a professional chef?

Given that he was the closest thing Ancient Rome had to Betty Crocker or Martha Stewart, we guess it makes sense. These apricots are a fantastic dessert from De re coquinaria (c. 5th cent. CE), arguably the best-known Ancient Roman cookbook. They likely would have been enjoyed at room temperature, but taste fantastic after being chilled. We make this at every rendition of our Ancient Food Day, and it's always a hit.

Latin: duracina primotica pusilla precoquiis purgas, enucleas, in frigidam mittis; in patina conponis; teres piper mentam siccam; suffundis liquids; adicies mel passum uinum et acetum; refundis in patina super precoquia, olei modicum mittis et lento igni ferueat, cum ferbuerit, amulo obligas, piper aspargis et inferes. (De re coquinaria, 4.177)

Translation (by John Liao): Wash firm, early or small apricots, pit them, and put them in the cold [water]. Arrange them in a pan. Crush pepper and dried mint, pour over liquamen and add honey, passum, wine and vinegar. Pour over the apricots in the pan. Add a little oil and heat on a low flame. Thicken [the sauce] with starch while it simmers. Sprinkle with pepper and serve. 

Ingredients

10-12 apricots (pitted and halved if fresh, rehydrated in water overnight if dried)

1 ½-2 tbsp freshly cracked black pepper (plus extra for garnish)

1 tbsp dried mint flakes

1 tsp garum/liquamen (substitute fish sauce if you can't find/make it yourself)

3-4 heaping tbsp of honey

3/4 cup of red wine

3/4 cup of passum (also known as raisin wine. Substitutes can include cranberry juice (less sweet), grape juice (more sweet), or ice wine (if you don’t have to make this for a school event).

1 tsp of vinegar (2 tsp if you're not using passum/alcoholic passum substitute)

1 ½ tbsp of olive oil

½ tsp corn starch

3-4 tbsp cold water

Our Recipe

Soak halved, pitted fresh apricots in cold water for 15 minutes (skip if using rehydrated fruit)

In a wide pan (at least 3 inches deep), lightly toast the black pepper and mint at medium heat until fragrant.

Add the liquids: honey, passum, wine, vinegar, and liquamen. Bring to a simmer and stir until well incorporated, and the honey has dissolved. Continue simmering to cook off the alcohol. If the mixture begins to reduce too much, add water in small amounts.

Once the desired amount of alcohol has been cooked off, add the apricots. Continue simmering until apricots reach your desired texture (usually 8-12 mins).

Remove the apricots from the pan. Mix cornstarch with cold water into a slurry, and add to the remaining liquid. Stir and cook until thick, then pour over reserved apricots. Let cool.

Serve chilled or at room temperature, with fresh black pepper sprinkled on top.

Below, we served them with libum (Roman cheesecake) and statites (Ancient Greek spelt crepes).

Some more anachronistic ways to serve this can include using it as pie or tart filling, mixing it with Greek yogurt, or serving it with vanilla ice cream while it's still hot (sort of like a poached pear situation).

Some FAQs

Q. "How long do I actually boil the sauce?"

A. As long as you want, depending on how much alcohol you want in the dish (we serve these at school events, so we have to boil it to hell and back to get rid of all the alcohol).

Q. "The ancient recipe says to cook the apricots first, why do you make the sauce first?"

A. When we tried the apricot-first method, the apricots fell apart and turned the whole thing into a jam-like stew because of how long we had to cook the sauce. It tasted great but lacked the nice texture of the whole apricots.

Q. "Can I substitute ingredients 1-1?"

A. Generally, yes. For our passum substitute, we use cranberry juice for its tartness, but any of the three substitutes work. However, if you have the ability to make/buy garum and passum, definitely give it a try!

[naritaren]

Fuck it. Some great ways to add veggies to your diet:

- roast those fuckers. This works for most veggies except corn kernels (you can do the whole cob though!). All you need is some oil, seasonings (do not forget salt and pepper), and whatever herbs you got. You can use frozen veggies for this with no problem. I also throw some chicken breasts and season them up the same way and let them roast on the same sheet pan. This lessens the clean up and all the juices mix and it gets tasty. Squirt some lemon juice over it when you're done and ta-da

- dice or grate them into sauces for pastas or into meatloaf! Carrots are great for this because they have a ton of moisture and can make a meatloaf super moist! You can also just toss a fuckton of spinach into spaghetti sauce and pour it over some noodles. Fast and easy.

- cheese them up. Cheese in excess ain't the best for your cholesterol, but a little will help with the veggies and can help get some dairy into your world (which you need)

- another not so healthy tip, but sautee them in some bacon fat (or duck fat if you're fancy). It's a great way to make them tasty

- go hard on the seasonings and herbs. When in doubt, use some Lowry's. A lot of people think veggies can only be steamed unseasoned messes. Just season them up nicely.

- butter. Butter makes things better. Use it.

- soup or chili! You can totally throw a bag of frozen corn kernels into a pot of chili. (I do this instead of beans because I don't fuck with the texture of beans) Or just throw random veggies in some stock with maybe shredded chicken or whatever and you have a soup.

Break out of this thought process that you need to suffer for veggies. Once you start to expand how you prepare them and how you spice them up, it gets easier to eat them. You don't need to eat a variety if you can't stomach others, just find which ones you like. My autistic ass loves brussel sprouts and broccoli, so I have those more often than others. I don't fuck with the texture of peas so I just don't eat them.

Find what works best for you and go with it. More veggies mean more vitamins and stuff in your body, and you need those.

[nokingsonlyfooles]

We Made These

Tamales! Which one should traditionally eat after Midnight Mass, but we're not religious and we're hungry. They are the savoury kind with red chile pork. There is only ONE store in town that sells dried Mexican chiles, a little mercado near the SkyTrain station, and they also have corn husks. Whenever we make the pilgrimage to get chiles, I make a HUGE pot of sauce and freeze most of it. These are made from about 1/5 of that sauce. I been cooking for days!

(The spouse helps. I get discouraged and make messes and he helps a LOT. I think he folded most of these himself! The man is white AF, but he loves me and pays attention and learns. There is no division of culture here. We came from different places but this place is OURS.)

The chiles were very mild (as always *sigh* Canada) and inexplicably bitter this year. Added a lot of tomato to compensate. After this long process, the end product needs salt - but we can add that on top!

And we also made...

Best effort cream cheese cookies! These are not like the original recipe and not like what my family made but they are the correct taste and texture and I didn't have to mash them through a cookie press. As you can see by the crumbles, I made a few attempts that fell apart.

To make a years-long story short: BOTH of these things were things my family taught me to make and NEITHER of them were made the way I was taught to make them, because the way I was taught to make them was needlessly painful and difficult. Instead of pushing dough that was not meant for a cookie press through a cookie press, I rolled it into balls and flattened it between pieces of parchment paper. And instead of piling up the tamales on their sides and letting the steam leak out of the pot so that they take hours to cook, I folded them like I found on the internet, stood them up, put foil over the pot to help keep the steam in, and had them ready it eat in an hour and a half. I also did not make everyone wait until midnight - for fuck's sake we weren't even Catholic, what was my dad thinking?

The point is, you don't have to keep doing things the hard way that hurts, not even if your family taught you that was the only way. It's hard finding a better way. You will screw up. You will have to throw some mistakes away. You will fantasize about kidnapping unsuspecting foreign exchange students by pretending to be an AirBnB and inflicting your culture on them just so it's not all on you and you don't have to do it alone (okay, maybe that's just me). But you can find a better way. You can learn a better way.

Half my life is probably over, and I'll be another year older soon. But still, I learn.

And sometimes I get some pretty good cookies and tamales out of the deal.

[raychleadele]

I made some kick ass tacos tonight. Let me share the wisdom.

You need:

Corn tortillas

Leftover pulled pork (made some sandwiches recently and forgot how big a pork shoulder is? went to a party and got sent home with leftovers? Good news, we’re using it tonight)

Sour cream

Lime juice

Cilantro (unless you got the gene. I won’t judge, but I will be sad for you)

A smoky bbq sauce

Hot sauce of choice (if you want your tacos spicy)

Pickled red onions (look up quick pickle recipes, VERY easy to make and excellent topping for so many things, make these ahead of time and use them liberally until they disappear and you’re sad, then make more)

Queso fresco

What you do:

1: Heat up some oil in a pan. About 1/2 inch to 1 inch of a neutral oil like vegetable oil or canola oil. You’re gonna fry up your tortillas JUST A LITTLE. They should still have some flex, we’re not making tortas shit I meant tostadas sorry I’m white, you just want them warmed and slightly crisped along the edges. I recommend having two per taco for structural purposes. Fry them one at a time and drain on a paper towel lined plate, sprinkle lightly with salt as soon as they come out. The hot oil makes the salt stick. Fry up one more than you plan to use in the tacos, because if you’re like me, you WILL want to snack while you’re finishing the prep, and you gotta taste test your sauces somehow right?

1.5: CAREFULLY drain your frying oil into a jar. BE FUCKING CAREFUL, SHIT’S HOT. Alternatively you could just set this pan aside to cool and grab a fresh pan. But doing the risky maneuver means you’ve already got a hot pan with a light coating of oil so. Take the risk if that’s worth it to you.

2: Throw your leftover pulled pork in your hot pan. This should already be cooked, so we’re literally just heating it up. Mix it occasionally so it doesn’t burn, but feel free to let it get slightly crispy, the texture is good. Don’t worry about seasoning this, it already tastes good from the first time it got cooked.

3: Toppings. Mix your bbq sauce with your choice of hot sauce to taste. Or skip the hot sauce. I like spicy things, and most commercial bbq sauces have good flavor and lack heat, so I add my own. But you do you.

3.5: Your second sauce is limey sour cream. Mix some sour cream with chopped cilantro (optional of course), a few splashes of lime juice, and a pinch of salt. Add a little water, just a drizzle at a time, to bring it to a drizzling consistency, if you want. Personally I like it that way.

4: By now your pork should be hot. Plate your tortillas (again, I recommend doubling up for structure, and honestly the slightly crispy is just so yummy that having an extra is worth it) and top with some pork. It’ll be tempting to add a lot, but try to control yourself! You don’t want to overfill it, the goal is to keep the fillings inside the tacos when you eat them. Trust me, I’ve made this mistake. Top with your hot bbq, limey sour cream, pickled onions, and some crumbled queso fresco.

5: Eat. Indulge yourself. Then be sad you didn’t prep more.

I didn’t take pictures because I ate them too fast. But trust me, these are very simple and incredibly delicious. Go forth and cook yourself some good food.