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storiesforallfandoms · 3 years

Text

pushing buttons ~ eminem

word count: 1912

request?: yes!

@thatonegirlthatlikesthings “Hi me again I literally love your writing so much omg I was wondering if you could once again indulge my Eminem obsession cuz my baby don’t get enough love🥺🥺 I was thinking like a angst/fluff where MGK tries to hit on the reader even though he’s with Meg Fox now and Em loses it and dr Dre and Paul try to call him down but it doesn’t really work and the reader has to chill him out. I love you I love your writing and I love you bye!🥰☺️❤️❤️”

description: in which his enemy tries to push his buttons by flirting with his girl

pairing: eminem x female!reader

warning: swearing

masterlist

“What the fuck is that prick doing here?”

Marshall glared at the tall blonde standing across the room with his arm around a familiar actress. It was the night of his launch party for his new album, and he thought it was just supposed to be personal friends of his as well as his friends from the industry. However, a few others from the industry had arrived as well, including the infamous Machine Gun Kelly.

“Paul invited him,” Marshall’s girlfriend, (Y/N) responded. “Said you two should try and squash the beef. Fans are getting tired of it.”

“Squashing the beef and becoming friends with the enemy are two totally different things,” Marshall hissed.

“You don’t have to be friends,” (Y/N) told him. “Just...shake his hand, look friendly for the pictures, end the beef.”

Marshall rolled his eyes as (Y/N) wrapped an arm around his waist and gave him a slight squeeze. “I know, I tried to tell Paul he should run this past you first. But him and MGK’s manager think it’s best for both of you to end the beef. He wants to move on with his new punk pop genre, you should move on too considering the fact that you absolutely destroyed him.”

She lowered her voice to a whisper for that last part, causing Marshall to smirk.

“This is gonna push me to drink,” he muttered as he noticed Kells approaching him.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” (Y/N) hissed. “If you break your sobriety, I will be your worst nightmare.”

Marshall smiled at her before dropping it to glare at Kells.

“Hey man,” Kells started. “Listen, thanks for the invitation. I know things have been rocky between us, but I hope you know I never meant any harm by my tweet about Hailie, and I still view you as a massive inspiration to me. I just thought...maybe I’d get more recognition with the diss, and it worked. It just sort of fucked up my rap career in the process.”

(Y/N) gave Marshall a quick look before sipping on the drink she had in her hand. They were both shocked by such a mature response from Kells, especially after the stuff Kells said about Marshall following the drop of Not Alike and Killshot.

She was watching her boyfriend expectantly as he processed what had been said to him. He glanced back at (Y/N) finally before saying, “No hard feelings, man. Tensions ran high, we both said some shit, I think it’s time we get past it.”

Kells smiled and offered a hand to Marshall. Although reluctant at first, Marshall took it and shook his hand. Kells soon left and went back to his girlfriend, knowing not to overstay his welcome.

“Was that so hard?” (Y/N) asked. “At least he’s being mature about it, too.”

“A little too mature,” Marshall said.

“Stop it, you just don’t like him. Let’s get a non-alcoholic beverage.”

~~~~~~

As the night continued, Marshall was pulled from (Y/N) as people kept coming and congratulating him on the album. She wasn’t too shocked, it was a normal occurrence. Luckily enough, she had come to know most of the people at the party through Marshall, so it wasn’t like she was awkwardly standing around for any amount of time.

She was at the snack table when a tall stature came to stand next to her.

“You lost your boyfriend, huh?’

(Y/N) looked up to see Kells stood next to her, a friendly smile on her face.

Despite the feud between the two, (Y/N) never had any sort of opinion on Kells. She hadn’t listened to his music - besides that one song with Camilla Cabello that blew up - and she didn’t want to form an opinion based on a beef she wasn’t even a part of. So, him standing next to her didn’t make her as angry as it had made Marshall earlier. Instead, she smiled back at him.

“Yeah,” she said. “Nothing new of course. Everyone congratulating him on the album and whatnot.”

“Seems like a lot of people just trying to kiss his ass.”

(Y/N) shrugged. “That may be true in some cases. Most of the people here who have already worked with him and known him for so long know better against that. Maybe it’s because they’ve already worked with him though, who knows. Where’s Megan?”

Kells gestured aimlessly into the crowd. “Also pulled away from me. Talking to...someone I guess.”

He didn’t sound too concerned over it, although maybe it was just the same situation (Y/N) was in. Megan was pretty popular as an actress, this was probably nothing new for Kells either.

“So, how did you and Em meet?” he asked, offering her one of the two red cups he had in his hand. (Y/N) didn’t think much of it at first. She figured he had probably gotten a drink for Megan then realized he had lost her in the crowd.

“We met through a mutual friend, actually. One from back in Detroit,” she explained. “I knew who Marshall was, obviously, but I was never really a hip hop fan. We got to talking and before I knew it, he was asking me out on a date. We were official within a month, and we’ve been together ever since. That was like...three years ago now, I think.”

She took a sip from the drink Kells had given her and cringed at the strong taste of alcohol in the cup. Noticing this, Kells asked, “Too strong?”

“Just not used to alcohol,” she explained. “I’ve mostly given it up in solidarity with Marshall. I’m proud of his sobriety, even if I’ve only been here for the tail end of it.”

“That’s lame,” Kells scoffed. “The old man shouldn’t hold you back from doing some fun shit.”

The tone of his voice plus the subtle diss caused a slight feeling of annoyance in her, but she pushed it down. Be the bigger person, she had been telling Marshall all night. She couldn’t go against that.

“He’s not holding me back from anything,” she responded. “I chose to do it. I just know it sucks to have to be sober when everyone around you is drunk or high. I want to be that one person he can confide in in those situations, you know?”

“You’re too good for him, man,” Kells said. “For real, you have a heart of gold and the body of a smoke show. You shouldn’t be wasting it all on that fucker. You should be getting with a real man.”

(Y/N) shuffled uncomfortably, now putting her cup down on the snack table. “I’m perfectly happy with Marshall, thank you. Besides, you have a girlfriend. One who is literally at this very party right now.”

He waved off the comment, as if it weren’t a real concern. (Y/N) looked around the room, desperate to find someone she knew who could save her from that situation.

Across the room, Marshall was glaring daggers into the back of Kells’ head. He could see the uncomfortable look on (Y/N)’s face, and saw the drink she had just discarded on the table. He knew something was happening, something he didn’t like.

“Why the fuck did you invite him?” he asked Paul. “Why didn’t you warn me first?”

“It needed to be an authentic meet up to end the beef,” Paul responded. “After tonight you won’t see or hear from him ever again.”

“You bet I won’t, because I’ll have him six feet under the fucking ground if he doesn’t get away from (Y/N).”

Paul looked over at the two. His face grew concerned upon seeing (Y/N)’s. “It can’t be anything too serious. He’s here with Megan, remember?”

“Do you see Megan anywhere around here, Paul?” Marshall asked.

He was so furious you could almost see the cartoon smoke coming from his ears. He was clutching his plastic cup so hard that it would’ve shattered into a million pieces if it was glass. It dropped from his hand suddenly when he saw Kells grab (Y/N)’s waist, trying to pull her closer to him. Both Paul and Dre had to grab him to stop him from going over and beating the shit out of Kells right then and there.

“Calm down, man,” Dre told him.

“He’s fucking touching her, Dre!” Marshall snapped. “She’s obviously uncomfortable, let me go over there and beat the shit out of him!”

“Not here,” Paul said. “Not in front of all these people. Go over and get her - peacefully - then you guys can just leave. This was a stupid idea from me.”

“Really fucking stupid,” Marshall hissed as he pulled away from the two. He tried to keep his anger at bay as he went over and wrapped an arm around (Y/N), effectively pulling her from Kells’ grasp. “Come on, babe, let’s go home.”

“What’s wrong, Marshall? Don’t like another man talking to your girl?” Kells challenged.

“I don’t like other men grabbing my girl when she’s obviously uncomfortable, no,” Marshall responded.

“Sounds a little insecure to me. Maybe you should work on that, man. You’ll be able to keep up with this absolute bombshell when you’re not so over jealous of her.”

Marshall’s grip on (Y/N)’s waist tightened. She tried to calm him down, but it was obvious he was past the point of no return.

“Fuck you,” he snapped. “Man, I don’t know what your fucking problem is, but you’re the one who started all of this shit. Now you’re coming here, to my launch party, trying to flirt with my girl, and now you’re insulting me?! Must be a sad existence you live, Kelly, when you can’t even be happy with your own success. You have to keep trashing on someone else who’s doing much better than you.”

Kells’ cheeks were tinted pink with anger as he glared at the two of them.

“I suggest going to find your girlfriend while you still have one,” (Y/N) told him. “Because I will be telling her about this whole...incident between us.”

Before any other words could be said, Marshall took (Y/N) and guided her out of the building. When they got to the car, he sat in the driver’s seat for just a second, trying to make himself calm down.

“I should go back in there and fucking kill him,” he said, more to himself than to (Y/N).

“No you shouldn’t,” she told him. “He was just trying to push your buttons. He seems very happy with Megan, and there were so many other girls at that party he could’ve flirted with if he just wanted to be a scumbag. He only chose me because he knew it would get to you.”

She reached over and put a hand over one of Marshall’s that was clutching the steering wheel. On contact, he loosened his grip and realized how much his hands hurt from holding the wheel too tightly.

“Whatever his intentions were, they don’t matter,” she assured him. “I love you, Marshall, and only you. No other asshole will ever come in and swoop me away from you.”

He chuckled at her slight insult, their own way of flirting with one another. He leaned across and kissed her gently on the lips before finally starting the car.

“Let’s get the fuck out of here.”

#eminem #eminem imagine #eminem x reader #marshall mathers #marshall mathers imagine #marshall mathers x reader #imagine #one shot #request #fanfiction #fanfic #fandom

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kmikaelsonimagines · 3 years

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Seven: A Kol Mikaelson Imagine

Request from Anon: Hi, could I request Seven for the Folklore thing (if you’re still taking requests)

Yay, I found a gif I haven’t used yet! Thank you Google Images (see Illicit Affairs for my gif troubles)! Hope this is okay for you lovely, and enjoy x

Want to hear the song? Find a link to it just below:

Seven

Please picture me in the trees I hit my peak at seven Feet in the swing over the creek I was too scared to jump in

Breaking up with Kol Mikaelson was perhaps the best thing you had ever done. He was a selfish, idiotic, psychotic maniac who had no understanding of personal space, let alone how to treat you properly.

If this was the type of man who was attracted to you, you would rather remain single for the rest of your life.

You envied Hope. The seven-year-old didn’t have to worry about such things, nor did she have to deal with such morons. Of course, that would change when she got older and she learned just how protective her father was. You chuckled at the thought. The child didn’t have a care in the world as she ran along the river’s edge. She wasn’t scared of anything.

Not like you.

You had thought Kol was really going to be the one, before you had learnt what he was really like. Now, secretly, you were scared to jump back into the dating scene, afraid of finding another man like him.

Of falling in love with another man like him.

Or maybe you were just scared of losing him, of knowing that there would never be that possibility of you two getting back together.

One look at his stupid face, the anger rising within you, and you knew that certainly wasn’t the case.

But I, I was high in the sky With Pennsylvania under me Are there still beautiful things?

You hated him.

He had taken your heart in his hands, let it breathe in cool air, let it feel like it was flying, stuck on a high that it was never coming down from. And then, then he had crushed it, suffocated it, made you realise that beautiful things were always deadly.

You hated Kol Mikaelson for destroying everything wonderful about your world, for promising that he would change to fit into it when really he just made room for himself.

He had not only killed your dream, but he had ended the lives of so many people. That had never really bothered you before, but then you had nearly been the one to die when he lost control, when he didn’t listen to you when you said no.

And now he was onto that other girl, that Davina Claire, and you hated her just as much as you did him. You were waiting for the moment when she would die, those teeth sinking into her neck and spilling her blood as they had almost spilled yours.

But it never seemed to happen, and you resented that fact.

You made your opinions clear, never one to shy away from a fight, and you knew that Kol hated you too.

It only hurt a little bit.

Sweet tea in the summer Cross your heart, won't tell no other

You watched Kol and Davina from across the street. You had dropped Hope off back home, the girl still enjoying your company even if you were no longer part of the family.

There they were, enjoying tea, smiles on their faces. You gritted your teeth, hating the sight of them so happy. So much had been destroyed for them to get there happiness, including your own.

You told yourself it was for the best, that Kol clearly wasn’t worth it, he had almost killed you for God’s sake, but the longer you looked at him, the less anger there was with more sadness taking its place.

You would never tell anyone, but you were sure that part of you would always hold a candle for Kol Mikaelson, that part of you would always love him. It would be a secret you would take to the grave, a cross on your heart marking just where he had wounded you.

You hated him so much, you told yourself. You needed to go home, you told yourself.

But your feet weren’t working, and it wasn’t long before Kol caught you looking.

It wasn’t long before he was marching across the street, fire in his eyes.

It wasn’t long before fear set in, and you welcomed it like an old friend.

And though I can’t recall your face I still got love for you

“What the bloody hell do you want?” Kol snarled, and you tried to brush it off. You couldn’t remember the last time he had looked at you without hatred in his eyes, your own loving gaze for him reserved for when you were alone, staring at the ceiling as you laid in bed, an empty spot next to you.

“Just came to see if Davina’s still alive. I see you haven’t killed her yet. How unfortunate.” You turned, making to walk away when Kol grabbed your arm. “Let go.”

“Why should I? We need to get past this, Y/N. You need to learn to leave me alone.”

This was it. This was why breaking up with him had been a good idea. His damn possessiveness, his stubbornness.

“I said let go, Kol. Or I’ll tell your girlfriend that you just tried to kiss me.”

It was a lie. A blatant lie, but it did the job. Kol let go of your arm. “How many more times do I have to apologise before you stop being such a bitch?”

“I’ll let you know.”

And with that, you stalked off, leaving Kol grinding his teeth as his gaze followed you home. You held in the tears until you shut yourself in your room.

Your braids like a pattern Love you to the Moon and to Saturn

You hated him. You hated him. You hated him.

It was what you kept telling yourself, repeating it over and over in a pattern to try and make it true. But it was getting harder and harder to believe it, not when you pictured him and Davina together, not when a lump started to form in your throat.

You hated him. You hated him. You hated him.

But you still loved him too.

He had made a mistake, one that he had apologised for a million times over. Maybe it was time to forgive him, tell him that you wanted to get back together. So you called him, and were surprised when he agreed to come over.

To talk.

When Kol arrived, he looked at you with what appeared to be sympathy. It was a start, so different from the hatred that often bloomed in his eyes. He smiled a small, sad smile at you, apologising for his behaviour the day before.

That was when you knew that doing this was the right thing, that in a few moments, Kol Mikaelson would be yours again. You could work through any issues when you loved him like you did.

“I still love you.”

“Oh.”

Passed down like folk songs The love lasts so long

“Oh.”

It was funny how a word could be so damning. You knew in that moment that you were wrong, that Kol didn’t want to get back together, that he didn’t love you anymore. No, he pitied you, falling over his words as he tried to explain.

“Don’t. Just don’t, Kol. I think you’ve hurt me enough.” And then there was that spite, that anger that passed through you like it had so often. Anger and hatred that was passed down from generation to generation, from instance to instance, every single time you saw him. It smothered your love for him, if only for a moment, as you realised that you wanted him to hurt.

So you grabbed hold of his shirt and pulled his lips to yours, hungry for him to feel the pain that he had caused you. You hated him, and you wanted him to feel what you felt.

A small cry caused you to break apart, and you looked at Kol, smug, as his eyes fell on Davina Claire. You had heard the witch outside, knew she would be thinking that things were taking too long, knew that she would come in and see her boyfriend kissing you.

She stormed off, close to tears and before he ran after her, he looked at you with so much hatred, your heart burned.

No, breaking up with Kol Mikaelson was the best thing you had ever done.

It was what you kept telling yourself as you felt your heart break again and again and again.

Masterlist

Folklore Masterlist

#TVD #tvd imagine #tvd imagines #the vampire diaries #the originals #to #the originals imagines #the originals imagine #Kol mikaelson #kol mikaelson imagine #kol mikaelson imagines #kol mikaelson x reader #nate buzolic #nate buzz #Nathaniel Buzolic

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mightynonagesimus · 3 years

Text

15 Minutes (What If I Told You)

ANGST WITH AN UNHAPPY ENDING. DO NOT READ FOR A GOOD TIME. This is a supercorp oneshot I wrote after I hear the title song. Very Angsty, you are warned. Trigger Warning : Angst, mentions of suicidal thoughts, depression, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH. Obiviously. This is pre-apocalypse.

11:27,

Monday, July 13th

Lena's Loft,

National City.

It was very unnoticeable at first. Solar flares from a nearby galaxy far enough that they didn't think much of it. A few explosions a couple galaxies down hardly warranted the DEO's involvement. Besides, Earth had different things to worry about. The Team had different things to worry about. Probably. Lena wouldn't know anymore, would she? After the Fortress, she had taken extra precautions to block every single one of them out of her life. She didn't need anyone. She just needed to save the world.

And to be honest? Lena was ashamed it took her that long to figure it out. It wasn't like her. The Prodigy of her generation. The CEO of one of the biggest Tech Corporations in America. The sister of Earth's most infamous criminal mastermind.

If she had just gotten out of bed, checked any of her projects, called her secretary back. But she was too numb, too empty. Lying in bed, unable to move or think. Wishing to die. She couldn't even muster up the energy to lift a hand, it was just... pathetic.

After a week, Jess had had enough. It took Sam flying over from Metropolis to even get Lena out of bed. Sam had no idea about Kara, of course. But it didn't take long for her to march over to Alex's apartment and threaten her friend until the truth spilled. Lena had never seen that furious. Over Lena, of all people.

She didn't deserve Sam.

***

Sam had been pestering her all week. Bringing over food and staying with her every night. Lena felt like an asshole, taking up so much of her time. That was the main reason she returned to L-Corp after a week That was when she found out about the satellite malfunctions. Some radioactive signature was messing with their signals. That was fine, this was a problem Lena could fix, right? Easy.

Wrong. Turns out the signature was something her systems could recognize. Kryptonite. A giant chunky piece of Kryptonite and debris about the size of a small moon. A Krypto-Comet that was hurtling at half the speed of light from deep space, directly towards Earth.

Mondays, right?

Of course, she contacted the DEO immediately. They were horrified. For a Secret Government Agency handling the extraterrestrial, they had some shockingly bad tech. She wasn't really surprised. Also, they might have been slightly distracted with Leviathan. Lena had spent the next three days cooped up in a lab with Brainiac 5 desperately trying to come up with a way to deflect it or destroy it, or anything really. Usually, an Anti-Kryptonite suit and Supergirl would have taken care of the problem real quick, but considering the size of the comet and the excessive amount of Kryptonite on it, it just wouldn't be possible. There was no time to call for back-up from Argo City either, with the satellites malfunctioning.

The last five days were utter chaos. Naturally, the news hit the public hard. It was pandemonium, but how could you keep a goddamn meteorite impact from them? The skies were already turning purple.

Lena however, was still in her lab. Over the course of three days, a complete whirlwind of people checked in and out of her lab. People she had never met before. People she had never even heard of. Cisco Ramon, Caitlin Snow. A scientist named Raymond Palmer with some very interesting ideas on molecular structure and shrinkage. Felicity Smoak. Alex pulled her aside during lunch to explain about the Multiverse.

What. Even. What.

Okay.

It felt like her brain was exploding, but she was their best chance of saving the planet. She had to pull it together. She can't show any weakness.

Alex called for another excruciating meeting the second day.

"Attention! I have some news." Alex exhaled slowly. "Sara?"

"I'm sorry guys, but it's bad. We were unable to prevent this event from not occurring. It happens rarely, but this can't be prevented by modifying the timeline. It's inevitable. We have to find other ways."

"What if we move your population to our Earth?" Harry? Larry? The guy in red spandex asked.

"More than half out Earth's population have doppelgangers in yours. It will mess with the balance of your universe. We can't move them. How about finding an empty universe?"

"Kara is out looking for one, but every Earth we found was either ruined or full. That's too long a shot, I don't think we'll find one in time."

"Well, theoretically-" Brainy hesitated - "My ancestors had a way of...dealing with planets that disagreed with them. They would shrink them down and have them as trophies."

"We can't shrink the planet, the gravitation of the solar system would collapse and we would fall into the sun." Lena muttered distractedly, fiddling with her pen.

"Let's not do that. Any luck contacting Superman?"

"Radio silence. The radiation is messing with communications."

"We could push it through a wormhole, or a portal, but-"

"The comet will be here before we could begin to build it. What if we transport our people to a different planet?"

"Seven billion people on a different planet without nearly enough food and water?"

"Or maybe into a space station?"

"We have four days. To transport seven billion people. And essential items."

"Yeah, that's not gonna work either."

"Okay, let's keep at it guys." Alex clapped her hands together. "There IS a way, we just don't know it yet."

***

Yeah, there was no other way. The days went by in a whirl. They came up with theory after theory, but it was too late. Their world was going to end. Nothing can stop it.

During the last day, Alex ordered every non-Earth-38 person off the universe. And even though there was some resistance, everyone sombrely agreed it was the best move.

A surprising lot of friendships were made that week. World-ending threats tend to do that, apparently. Lena personally never wanted to experience Nia and Zari Tarazi try to cook a pizza together ever again. They almost blasted the dough halfway across the DEO building and into the miniature Nuclear Reactor.

Lena would never, not in a million years, ever admit it; but she wanted what they had.

She couldn't fathom that comfort, that mutual understanding of trust that Nia shared with Zari. How did they build it? How could they rely on it, when they had been strangers only a week ago? How could you share your secrets, yourself, with someone who could potentially turn against you, someone who could be lying through their teeth like Eve was, someone who might hate you just because of a name that you can't change?

Not that anything could be done now. It was too late.

They were gathered at the DEO training facility off-city to say their final goodbyes, except Lena was at L-Corp. It took her a while to accept it, but this time it was real. There was no hail mary, no high stake final masterplan left in her. She was going to die, along with her planet.

So it was the perfect time to break out her finest bottle of scotch.

The L-Corp building was deadly silent. Any other day, Lena would have enjoyed it. The building was almost never fully empty, with the security team and the journalists and the interns who never sleep. Today it put her on edge.

Because she did this. Lena caused all this, it was Lena's fault. She was the reason-

'Alex.'

The tiny blue screen lit up on her desk, ringing insistently. The tech mogul was almost relieved that something interrupted.

The silence. Interrupted the silence.

Lena brought it to her ear.

"Hello?"

"Lena!? Where the hell are you?" For a second, Lena relished the panic in Alex's voice. Of course, it probably was over the world ending, but she wanted to pretend that it was over Lena. That Alex actually cared about her.

"What do need me to do, Director Danvers?" Her voice was meant to be posh and clipped as always, but it came out slightly more drunk than she wanted it to.

"Wha-Nothing! I just couldn't find you anywhere so I thought I'd check up on you." Aww, Alex. You don't need to pretend, everything is gonna go to shit anyway.

"Is Sam still there?"

"Uh- Yes. Yeah, she's here. Do you want to talk to her?"

"Nooo." Lena considered it. "No, definitely not."

"Lena, are you drunk?"

Lena exhaled loudly. "Why did you call me, Director?"

"Because the universe is ending!" Lena cringed away from the phone. That was too loud for her sleep-deprived brain.

"I don't see your point." She huffed back.

"Goddammit. Look, Kara and I will keep looking for a solution, you don't need to worry, okay? You know she never gives up. Nia and the others-"

"Please just stop." Lena begged.

"I-Stop?" Lena could picture Alex's face. She hated that she did.

"I don't care! About anything, anymore. Just leave me alone. Goodbye, Alex."Sorry I pulled so much shit.

Lena switched it off and chucked it across the room, onto her couch. It bounced over the cushions and fell over.

She was alone, now.

"Hope?"

"Greetings, miss Luthor. What can I do for you today?" Hope was always here. Lena's only constant companion through everything. Even if it did wear the face of her traitor friend.

"You understand that this will be the last day?"

"Yes, miss Luthor-"

"Lena. Call me Lena."

The robot cocked its head to the side. Why did Lena program it so life-like?

"Lena. Would you like for me to call anyone else?"

"No, thank you. How long is it now?"

"Seventeen minutes and three seconds."

Lena cradled her head. It felt like her brain was swimming in the alcohol. At least she won't have to feel this tomorrow.

"Execute terminal orders and shut down, please."

"Executed. Goodbye, Miss Luthor."

The hologram blinked off. Lena swirled the last of the scotch in her glass. It didn't taste nearly as good as she hoped. She set it down in distaste.

God, this was all her doing, wasn't it?

If only Lex could see her now, pushing everyone away, alone and lonely on top of the empire that was built by her psychopathic family. Everything he said that day was true.

And it was all Lena's fault. Because she chose to trust Kara. She chose her new family. She wanted that. She craved that. Even when she knew she could never have it. She's always craved that. This wonderful 'family' she could love with all her heart. They would have been her people, they would love her no matter her last name. They would support her through hell and back. She fucking fantasized about how they would be there for her every birthday, about how she would shower them with love and affection, about game nights and road trips. She didn't give a shit about romantic, platonic, she just wanted someone to be there at the airport when she comes back from month-long expeditions through Europe.

It all seems so naive now. She was still here, on top of an empty building, because of her choices. Because of her stupid, stubborn pride. She must have chosen this, right? This is what she wanted. To be alone. Sixteen minutes from the world ending. She had chosen to be alone, bitter, angry at herself for doing what she had done.

Fuck, no.

But it was too late. Too late to accept her family, too late to enjoy them. Too late to save the world. Too late to apologize.

Too-fucking-late.

Fuuuuuuck, she messed up. What she wouldn't give to go back in time, find her younger self and...eughh. Berate her? Explain? Mug her? Lena had no idea.

This scotch tastes like shit.

Why is time so slow?

Tick.

Tock.

Her life is shit. She would like a refund.

Tick.

The alcohol is really getting to her brain, cause she found that funny.

Toc-

The entire floor rattled when the door flies open behind her. *

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" Oh hey, Sam. You did come.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" She crossed her arms, raising one brow at her CFO.

"Lena, no." Sam stomped over and wretched the glass away from Lena.

"Goddammit, leave me alone, Sam!" Why I am so shitty all the time Sam?

"No." She repeated firmly.

"What?"

"No. I should have done this a long time ago when I first got back here. I'm not leaving you alone, I'm not letting you drink yourself to death. I'm not let you wallow in your misery when the world is fucking ending and you still stubbornly refuse to put down your pride. I'm not leaving!"

She walked over to Lena's hidden break room and poured the scotch down the sink.

"But I-"

"No. Listen, you dumbass. You've been through some horrible, messed-up shit. Your brother almost destroyed the world multiple times. Your mother was a narcissistic fucking psychopath. I cannot even begin to understand how you feel most of the time. Having every move scrutinized by the world, feeling like you can't trust anyone."

"I trust you."

Sam paused. "I-What?"

"I trust you, Sam. You may be the only person who I can be myself around right now. And-And I know that isn't fair to you, me having constant breakdowns. I keep you from your life and Ruby and I hate it-"

"Lena!" Sam takes her hand. "You can always tell me about it. Everything. And I won't lie, helping you through your trauma isn't easy, especially since you refuse to meet a therapist. But that doesn't mean you can keep everything to yourself. It means that your pain, it matters to me. It is a piece of you that you have shared with me, and it isn't going to fucking evaporate the second I know about it. You matter. Your trauma matters. To me, and to everyone at the DEO. I want to help you." She inhaled deeply.

"And I can't promise that everything is going to be fine, I don't even know if we'll exist an hour from now, but I can tell you this. You don't deserve all this pain. That doesn't mean you don't have it. You are not responsible for what your family did, and you are not responsible for your mother's death. You don't deserve to die alone and at odds with everyone you love."

"Sam, but I-"

"And I'm sorry, I know Kara and the others messed up. But they love you. They are your family now. And I can't watch you punish yourself over this. Lena, it's time to let go."

Tears lined Lena's eyes. "I can't do it, Sam!"

"You can."

"I can't! I trusted Kara with everything. I shared every piece of me with her. Love and family were supposed to cure me! I made myself completely powerless, I was vulnerable, and she threw it back at my face. I cannot make that mistake again!"

"It's not fucking magic, Lena! Love isn't a cure-all. It doesn't mean everything bad that ever happened disappears! It only means that you aren't alone in your fight. Family and friendship, it takes work! You have to see them, and they have to see you. And Kara and the others, they love you!"

"If they fucking love me so much, why do they keep hurting me? Why am I the only one who gets lied to?!"

"It not that fucking simple! Everyone there has their own stuff. We're fucking terrified all the time. And now everything we ever feared is happening, and we can't even fucking be together!"

"What, now you're on their side?!" Lena heard the words spill out her head as messily as she felt, drenched in bitterness and insecurity. "Should've known that you would turn on me too."

Regret fills her immediately, but Lena drops Sam's hand like a searing pan.

Fuck.

"How can you think that?" Sam's voice was quiet now. Her eyes, Lena realized, were also filled with tears.

This is it. This is the moment I chase away the last person who's ever cared for me. One last screw over that will be wiped after the comet hits. One more mistake in my endless list.

Sam raised her arms. Lena reflexively leaned back, her heart hammering against her chest. Shit. She knew how this goes. She's seen enough fights between Lillian and Lionel end. She could hear the resonating crack from almost two decades ago. Lionel might have loved Lena, but he wasn't all that kind to Lillian.

You deserve this. You failed. You failed to protect yourself, failed to protect the universe. You are never going to be enough. You failed both your families, you failed yourself.

Warmth burst around her. Sam wrapped her arms around Lena.

What in the world... why was Sam hugging her?

Shit, this feels nice.

"Sam?"

"There are no sides, Lena. That's the whole point. You are a part of this family, and we will fight like hell to keep it that way." Sam stroked her hair. "We aren't perfect, we are flawed, we hurt each other. But we aren't alone. We love fiercely, and we have each other's back. We take care of our own. And you are one of us. We love you. We are here if you accept us."

Lena sniffled against Sam's shirt. A fierce rush of gratitude rushed through her. Sam has always been her rock, her constant for almost six years now. She's had her back so many times. Her best friend.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Sam." Lena sobbed. "Shit, it's too late. I can't fix everything. I messed up. I messed the whole thing up-"

"Hey. There's still time." Sam drew back and swiped at her eyes. "You can still call Alex. We have... seven minutes left."

Lena nodded, biting her lip.

"Thank you, Sam."

She shakily dialed her phone.

"Alex?"

***

"Hi! Aunt Lena!" A little bundle of joy crawled into Lena's lap and gave her a hug.

Ruby. She always meant a lot to Lena. Maybe because Lena never really had an aunt while she grew up. Maybe because her hugs were made of pure love; because Ruby is the most wonderful little human Lena ever met. Maybe because there was no tension, no tears involved. Ruby felt like hugging Lena, so she did.

It was the first time Lena cracked a smile in over a year.

"Hello, little monkey. Did you eavesdrop our whole fight?" She mussed her hair.

"Hey! I'm fourteen now. Not so little anymore." She carefully flattened her hair down. "And I know what swear words are, Auntie."

"Do you, now?"

"Yes!" She huffed. "Mom said she's making Mac and Cheese. She said your fridge was full of atrocious rabbit fodder and she hid about seventy percent of your kale." Ruby's voice dropped low and she whispered conspiratorially. "It's behind the eggs, don't tell her said that. Not that we'd be needing it anymore." She glanced sadly at the red skies.

"Are you okay, little monkey?"

"Aunt Lena, is there really no way to destroy the comet?" Ruby asked her.

Lena's heart broke. At that moment, she would've given anything to be back in her lab three weeks ago when they first found the comet. To have found a way out of this catastrophe.

She smiled sadly at Ruby. "I'm sorry, monkey. There's nothing we can do."

How do you tell a child that you failed her, that the entire world was gonna burn? That they were all going to die?

"It's okay, Aunt Lena. I love you." She kissed Lena on the cheek.

The elevator bell dinged and Lena could hear the doors open with a hiss. Her's mouth got just a little dry.

"I'm going to go help mom with the cheese. You should talk to them."

"Wait, Ruby-" she was gone. Great.

Lena exhaled shakily and got to her feet.

Here goes. Oh god. Why did I do this? This is a bad idea, shit. Shit, shit, shit. They still hate me why did I call them, they- Alex.

It was Alex. Suddenly, it wasn't the monsters that she was facing. It was Alex and Kelly and Nia and Brainy. Her family.

Alex stumbled forward first. "Lena, I-" She interrupted herself by crashing into Lena-"I'm so fucking sorry. I should've told you when the whole thing with Reign happened, but then Kara told me that she had to work things out between you and Supergirl, and then I lost my memories for a while-" Lena realized with a jerk that Alex was sobbing against her shoulder.

"-I feel like such an awful friend." Alex's voice cracked.

"Ale-Alex! Hey, it's okay." And for the first time, Lena really meant it. "I'm sorry too. I just felt-"

"Betrayed. I know. I'm sorry." She repeated, stepping away from Lena. She gave Lena a small smile. Smaller, but much like the one she gave Lena the first time they met in Kara's apartment. Tired, but it gives off so much warmth that Lena could feel it. It reminded Lena of all the times they spent together. All the days when they made small explosions in her lab and teamed up for game night. When Alex took her to self-defense classes and showed her fancy tricks with her guns. She was Lena's best friend. She is.

"Brainy, Nia." God, it felt good to- Lena couldn't even describe it. She missed this. Her friendship with Brainy was one of the few things she treasured most in the world. He was the only one who could ever match her intellect, her best lab partner. Her friend. And to the lonely twelve-year-old genius from the Luthor family, that was everything. And Nia was one of the bravest people Lena knew, unafraid to be herself and face the world. Fighting every day for the greater good. And she was more than that, she was the one who taught Lena that she didn't have to hide who she was. Lena will be a Luthor her entire life. She just had to embrace it. Or as Nia had framed, quite eloquently; 'own it.'

Kelly, and her crazy therapy skills. Lena regretted not spending more time with her. She was such a wonderful person. Kelly was the silent rock of their group, Lena could see that now. She was always there and she knew exactly what to say. In Lena's eyes, she was magical. So determined in supporting her friends through everything. The sweetest, most bad-ass person out of them all.

Shit, Lena was crying now.

"No more little boxes, Lena." Brainy whispered in her ear, and she giggled. Even Lena was surprised by that.

He was right. No more boxes. She has three minutes left to live and she wasn't going to crush herself with the weight of her stupid boxes.

There was still one more person-

"Kara. I'm sorry Lena, she- couldn't make it." Alex squeezed her shoulder. "Barry's Earth- they don't have a Kara. She can live there and not disintegrate. I told her to go with him. I'm sorry, Lena."

Lena's lungs filled with lead.

"Yes, of course." Lena's voice sounded far away even to herself. "She deserves to live there, in peace. I'm sorry, excuse me."

Something akin to panic swelled over her. Anxiety? Sorrow? Feelings were not Lena's strong suit. Panic attacks, unfortunately, she's already dealt with. She backed away from the room, almost knocking Sam over in the process. "Uh- Bathroom."

The door slammed behind her, and Lena splashed her face with cold water.

She would never get to apologize, she would never even get to see Kara again. Her best friend. Her soulmate. And now, she would die without Kara knowing- knowing that-

Because Lena only ever hated herself. She could never,ever hate Kara.

She curled into a ball on the floor, trying to physically hold herself together so she didn't fall apart. She couldn't fall apart, not right now. Her heart was racing and her breathing was short and distressed.

"Lena? Open the door." Alex's voice, carried in through the door.

"I-I'll be right out!" Even Lena knew they won't buy it. She could hear her voice crack with emotion.

"Lena? You don't have to go through this alone, I just told you that." Her voice was soft, and Lena chose to listen.

"I know it's hard. I know you miss her, and I can't imagine what it must feel after everything that happened between you and Kara. It was difficult for me too. I'm leaving her alone, just like everyone else in her life. I'm leaving her and her world is ending again, and we can't do anything about it. I hate it. I broke my promise. She doesn't deserve this pain, and you don't either."

The door creaked open. Suddenly it was Alex surprised by the hug.

"Alex, I'm so sorry."

"Lena." Alex wrapped her arms around the small brunette. "Trust me, she knows. She knows that you love her."

Lena sniffed and pulled back.

"That's just it, Alex." Lena's voice grew softer. "She doesn't know that I'm in love with her."

"You're in love with me?" A small, hopeful voice echoed from the back of the room.

The blonde superhero stepped forward with the sunny smile Lena loved. "Sorry I'm late but, I bought emergency Potstickers." She waved a bag at the rest of them.

"Kara-" The word was out of her mouth before she realized it, but then it was Lena in Kara's arms and nothing else mattered. She buried her head in the Kryptonian's shoulders.

"Hey." Kara tucked a strand of hair behind Lena's mismatched eyes, and Lena fucking melted. "You know, I've been doing some research." Her voice was low and breathy.

"Oh yeah?" Lena's eyes shined as bright as the red skies outside. Kara thought she could see the whole galaxy in her them.

"I think I finally know what Quantum Entanglement means." She rested her forehead against Lena's and smiled softly.

Lena's heart was racing. She reached up and caught Kara's lips in hers.

"I love you too, Lena."

***

"System error. Terminal order simulation failed."

Lena gasped and fell to her knees.

"Redirect operations to internal systems." She gasped, tears streaming down her face.

Just a few more, a few more minutes. Please. I need to hold her. I need to be held by her.

"Simulation failed."

"No! No, no, no. Please. Try again." Lena fumbled with her screen.

"Simulation failed."

"TRY AGAIN, GODDAMMIT." Lena cried, her voice full of raw emotion.

"Simulation failed. Shutting down. Thirty seconds left in final countdown."

"NO! I SAID FUCKING TRY AGAIN!"

"Twenty-five seconds."

The air was getting hotter. She could already see the streaks of green and red raining down from above outside Kara's window.

"Nooo." She sobbed. "Please, I need to see them. I need to hold her. Please." She crumpled on the floor, holding Kara's green hoodie in her hand. The last piece of her Lena had. The worst part is, Kara wasn't dead. Just lost forever, to Lena.

"Ten seconds."

"Please."

"Five seconds."

"I don't want to be alone." She whispered.

Here's my twitter, go yell at me. https://twitter.com/Keroessa24

#supergirl #supercorp #lena luthor #karlena #kara danvers #sam arias #alex danvers #reigncorp #agentcorp #angst with a sad ending #world ending #apocalypse #lena luthor needs a hug #major character death #post s5 #depression #suicidal thoughts

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namjoonfluff · 4 years

Text

Fervor

pairing: Jungkook x Reader

genre: a bit angsty but fluff at the end

summary: you’re on tour with BTS and Jungkook gets injured while you’re there.

word count: 2,600

It was easy to see how the boys kept their energy going throughout the shows. The dressing room was buzzing with frantic energy; makeup artists running around their stations with brushes galore, stylists attempting to straighten out the clothes they were wearing. Several people with headsets rushed hurriedly through the dressing room, keeping an eye on the band. They knew their jobs were on the line if any of the BTS boys missed their cue. And then there was you. Just you, the partner of Jungkook. You had nothing better to do than just observe the action carefully from your spot on the sofa, which was placed out of the way in a corner of the dressing room. In fact, you had been advised by management to stay out of the way. After all, the behind the scenes of BTS shows was a well-oiled machine and they didn’t need an unnecessary cog messing it up!

If the management team hadn’t drilled that into your head already, Jungkook definitely had. He was less brash about it, simply asking you to busy yourself with work while they performed. However, it was hard to get anything done in the chaos that was the dressing room. What were you supposed to do? Take business calls over the shouts of the stage manager and chattering of the many makeup artists? There was no way this environment could foster any opportunities for you and your business so you simply just watched. While you made it sound like a chore, seeing what Jungkook was like at work was fun. You watched as he politely thanked the artist for touching up the foundation on his forehead and you loved seeing how he interacted with his bandmates; he was so care-free and relaxed around them. It could just be difficult at times. Between soundchecks and press opportunities to the actual shows themselves, you didn’t get much time to actually spend with Jungkook. There was an odd date here and there. But by date, it was going to the local fast food restaurant to grab a quick bite before heading back to the hotel to sleep. You can’t remember the last time the two of you had a full-on conversation like you used to do. The one-sided staring match you were having is cut short by the stage manager calling for the boys. You hear the thumps of music begin and thousands of fans screaming. It’s showtime! As soon as he hears the shouts, Jungkook is fully immersed in his world. He begins jumping up and down, getting pumped for the show that's about to start. There are whispers coming from his mouth as Jungkook recites lyrics he’s sung a million times before. He’s in the zone and so are the rest of them. That’s why when they exit the dressing room, Jungkook pretty much forgets you exist! He strolls past you, fiddling with his earpiece and microphone. It’s only when he’s out the door that Jungkook remembers you’re here with him. He quickly dashes back to the dressing room, gives you a sloppy kiss on the lips and runs to catch up with the boys. The chaos in the room slowly simmers as makeup artists and stylists filter out to get a quick break. It’s now that you can sit back and get some work done. You scroll through work emails, eyes quickly scanning over everything you’ve missed. As the Marketing Manager for a popular fashion brand in Asia, it was important that you kept up with your emails. You never knew what you might miss if you left them for just a day! The sound of tapping replaced the silence in the room as you responded to the most urgent emails. You had almost become scared of silence throughout your time with BTS. It wasn’t often that you were alone in a quiet room with just your thoughts to keep you company. The silence had you thinking about home, about your family and how you had basically packed up your life to follow your boyfriend around. And that frightened you! The thought of losing it all...

As you press send, the room begins filling back up with people. You didn’t need to look at the clock. You knew it was time for the first costume change in the show by watching the flurry of people entering the room! And no sooner had the makeup artists and stylists entered, the panting and sweaty members of BTS rushed in, stripping off their clothes as they went. You watched Jungkook carefully as it was so endearing to see his passion and love for his work. But today something was wrong. He wasn’t acting like his usual self! Jungkook tried his best to hide the fact he was limping into the dressing room. However, you could tell he was in pain from the way his head hung low and eyes stared at the floor. He sat back in the director-style chair and you saw the relief on his face as he took the weight off his feet. Jungkook’s chest heaved rapidly as the sweat was wiped from his brow and the artist patted it with powder. He always exerted himself too much and ended up getting hurt. Yet, no matter how many times people told him, he didn’t want to disappoint anyone. Not you, not the fans and definitely not his bandmates! Each of you shared a glance through the giant Hollywood mirror. Jungkook attempted to give you a weak smile but he had already spotted your concerned look. His eyes almost pleaded with you not to do or say anything. He didn’t want to make a fuss; he just needed to get the show over with for today. Then he could rest. As much as you wanted to make sure he was okay, you nodded and gave a reassuring smile. Jungkook was going to be fine - or so you thought!

It’s no more than fifteen minutes later when Jungkook is being rushed off the stage and carried into the dressing room by one of their bodyguards. His face so contorted in pain that tears are streaming down his face and onto the bodyguard’s shoulder. You know what’s happened before anyone has to explain it to you. One of his arms is outstretched, reaching out to the heel of his foot - almost as if he’s a wizard trying to fix it with magic. But he wasn’t and this definitely wasn’t going to be a quick fix. They lay him out on the floor of the dressing room and call in a medic who can see to his foot. There are massive crowds of people surrounding him and it’s not long before the other boys join the group to check if their friend is okay. Somewhat excluded from the circle, you hover over someone to keep an eye on your boyfriend. As the medic takes hold of his ankle and examines it, Jungkook cannot hold back the screeches and groans any longer. It hurts to see him in so much pain while there’s nothing you can do. After all, you have the back of a bodyguard separating you and your boyfriend right now. There’s no way you’re going to be able to shove him out of the way to get closer to Jungkook. “We have a ruptured achilles, unfortunately,” The medic states confidently, looking at the boy’s swollen leg with precision.

After hearing the diagnosis, Jungkook throws his head back against the floor and begins sobbing into his hands. It’s really the worst case scenario! A torn achilles is a death sentence for any athlete but it’s particularly bad for someone who performs for a living! You feel equally as devastated for him. Inside, he will be ruined for letting this happen and giving a poor show for the fans. “We have three songs left,” The stage manager calls into the dressing room. “The rest of you have ten seconds to get back on stage!”

You watch as the rest of the boys make the hard decision to leave the room and Jungkook stupidly attempts to follow. However, he is quickly struck down as searing pain shoots through his lower leg. The room is quieter now and you’re able to get next to him finally. You grab his hand, soothingly stroking his knuckles with your thumb.

“JK,” You whisper. “It’s okay, it’s going to be okay!” “How do you know that?” He snaps through gritted teeth. Despite your immediate shock at his aggressive tone, you smile through it and continue to console him. He is hurt after all. “These things heal, baby,” You say softly, stroking the hair from in front of his sullen eyes. “It can be fixed!” He rolls his eyes. “I don’t need your optimism right now!” “I’m just trying to help,” You voice gets quieter and quieter with every word. He’s never shouted at you before during your relationship; not even when you destroyed his favourite T-shirt by getting paint all over it. You know it’s because he’s in so much pain but it doesn’t stop the words from creating a hole in your heart. A hole that travels to your throat and blocks it! “What help can you give me right now!” He spits, pointing down at his ankle which grows bigger and bigger every second. “My leg is fucked! I’ve ruined everything.” “It’s fine -” You attempt to reassure him but you are quickly cut off. “No, it’s not okay,” He shouts at the top of his lungs. If the whole room wasn’t looking at him already, they definitely were now. Not only are they looking at Jungkook but you felt the eyes of everyone burning into your back. It was then that you felt the tears prick your eyes and lump become harder to swallow. However, you tried holding them back for the sake of your dignity. You had only been on tour for a few weeks and you didn’t want everyone seeing you ugly-cry for the first time in what was going to be a year-long tour.

“Can you just leave me alone?” His voice was just above a whisper now. It’s so quiet that you don’t catch what he said at first. Until he says, “Please!” You nod, unable to speak for fear of sobs coming out. It’s with his words that you dash out of the dressing room and head to the buses. That’s the only place you can be alone right now and even then, you have a bus driver sitting waiting expectantly for everyone. The driver simply smiles and nods as you run onto the bus in floods of tears. Your makeshift home for the last few weeks was annoyingly quiet; with just the hum of the engine running through the carriage and the faint sound of the driver’s radio. In the silence, you think about going home and throwing this all away. Was it really worth it? Was it worth being away from your family to see the boy you loved suffer? Did you deserve being shouted at for trying to help? As much as you loved Jungkook, the thoughts about your relationship lingered in your mind and there was nothing you could do to get rid of them. It was hard to shake them away without Jungkook, or the other boys, there to distract you.

As you contemplate how to tell Jungkook about your plans to go home, you hear multiple voices entering the bus. Rather than walking out to see what the commotion is, your back shuffles further into the corner of Jungkook’s bunk. In that moment, you wanted to disappear. If it was possible, you would have transported back to your hometown right then and there. You hear their voices; all of them. In between the concerns of the other boys, Jungkook is telling them he’s okay and asking for you. “She wasn’t backstage at the end of the show,” You hear Namjoon say.

Someone, you think it’s Jimin, asks: “Did something happen?”

“Well, aside from ruining my leg,” You hear Jungkook say before he explains the situation to his friends.

“She can’t have gone far,” Yoongi tells the group. “If she ran out with the fans, we would know about it by now!”

You hear Jungkook sigh loudly. “I really fucked up everything, didn’t I?” After listening to his words and how sad he sounded, you choke out a little sob. You never realised how hard touring with your boyfriend would be; trying to manage a job, maintain a relationship and stay sane. It felt you could only choose one of the two at this point.

You soon realise the bus is quiet and you think that all of the boys have left to find you. However, a moment later, the curtain on the bunk is drawn back and you see a concerned (and hobbling) Jungkook outside.

“Oh god,” He says after noticing the tears streaming down your face. “I’m so sorry for getting angry at you. It’s just that my leg hurt so much and I wasn’t thinking straight!”

Embarrassed, you hurriedly wipe your cheeks; thinking that by removing the tears, Jungkook would forget what he just saw. He wouldn’t. “Can I sit please?” He asks, trying to balance on his good leg.

You nod. With that invitation, he carefully lowers himself down onto the bunk bed, wincing and moaning every time his leg so much as moves an inch. “Should you be doing this with your leg?” You ask. “Probably not,” Jungkook replies with a smile. “But I needed to check if you were okay!”

There he was, putting everyone else before him again. He needed to stop doing that! That’s how he got into this mess in the first place and look at what happened.

“I’m really sorry,” He says again. “I didn’t mean to get angry with you!” “It’s fine,” You say but your voice is hoarse from crying all that time. “I didn’t realise it would be this hard.”

“I know,” He sighs.

There is a moment of comfortable silence between the two of you. You wonder what he could be thinking. Is he thinking about the future of your relationship too? Did he want you to go home? “I think,” Jungkook pauses for a moment. You instantly start thinking the worst. It starts with you mentally starting to list all of the things you brought with you so you know what to take home. Then you think about how much money a flight home will cost. What will your friends say if you come home early? You dread to think what will happen if the press ever finds out. “You’re my rock, okay” He says. “I need you, I need you here, with me, at all times.”

You are immediately shocked by what he’s saying. “It’s just not the same without you. You know me better than anyone, well maybe not the boys but you’re a close second.” You give him a glance. “What I’m trying to say is,” He huffs. “I’m sorry for being such an idiot and shouting at you. You were only looking out for me. I want to do the same for you!” “I love you!” He says. Immediately, your heart swells; you feel the broken pieces slowly repairing themselves again.

“I love you too!” You whisper back, leaning over to place your head on his shoulder. He knows you love it when he strokes your hair - especially after you have been crying. It reminds you of your mum somehow! That’s why he goes on auto-pilot when you lean into him; hands automatically going straight to your crown and running his fingers through your locks.

It doesn’t take long until you’re both asleep, exhausted from the long day you had. You fall asleep knowing that tomorrow would be a challenge. Jungkook was most definitely not going to lay quiet while the rest of the guys performed. However, you felt satisfied knowing that you would be right by his side through every moment; no matter how tough it was.

#jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook fic #jungkook fluff #jungkookfluff #jungkookfic #jungkook fanfiction #jungkook imagine #bts fic #bts imagine #bts fanfiction #bts fluff #jungkook x reader #bts x reader #bts army

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imaginationintowords · 3 years

Text

Folklore [song series]

hoax

Modern Day AU! Bucky Barnes x OC!Reader; Steve Rogers x OC!Reader

Plot: Inspired by Taylor Swift’s new album Folklore. The story follows the timeline of Bucky and Elizabeth’s life throughout the years

word count: 4197

warnings: language, angst, some fluff

[a/n: sorry it’s taken me so long to get this new chapter out. we got a new cat a couple of weeks ago and within 24 hours of having the cat we had to rush him to the vet a couple of times, thankfully now he’s doing so much better. I hope you all had a great holiday weekend. and hope you enjoy this part]

Previous part

Series Masterlist

Age: 19/20

Location: NY & CA

Year: 2013-2014

Elizabeth was frozen in place just staring at Bucky emotionless. She didn't know what to feel. Looking at the scene in front of her it was obvious what had happened between them. There was no denying. To even deny would be to think

Elizabeth is an idiot.

And an idiot she is not.

Bucky didn't know what to do. Even he knew there was no coming back from this. He was racking his brain, trying to think of what to say.

Nothing.

His mind was completely blank.

Natasha had never felt more awkward in her life. At least when in high school Elizabeth had never physically caught them red handed. She was face-to-face with the consequences of her actions. Immediately regretting even asking Bucky the proposition.

Elizabeth was broken out of her gaze. She stared between the two guilty parties, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Can't believe I was so stupid to think I was the only one. To think he actually changed," she thought.

Bucky opened his mouth about to say something, but he was cut off by

Elizabeth's hand.

"It's whatever Bucky," she shakes her head speaking first, "We weren't even exclusive. You can do whatever you want, with whomever you want. Single or not. You're good at that."

Elizabeth glanced back at Natasha, looking her up and down. She could never compete with someone like her, so she was done. Taking herself out of the equation.

"Excuse me," she politely says to Natasha who moves out of the way.

All Elizabeth wanted to do was go to her temporary room and be done for the day, for the weekend.

"Elizabeth," Bucky finally spoke up, his voice cracking, "Please let me explain."

Elizabeth didn't dare to make a move to turn around. She couldn't. Bucky didn't deserve that.

"I can't do this with you," she says, trying to control the tremble in her voice.

"Not again. This is it," she lastly said before walking to her room and closing the door.

"Bucky, I'm so sorry," Natasha apologized.

Bucky got a sense of Dejavú. Nothing really has changed the past year and a half.

"It's not your fault Natasha," he tells her, "This is all me. It never was and never will be your fault. I knew what I was doing, both times. This is all me and I have to deal with the consequences."

Before Natasha could speak they heard someone walking up the stairs. They looked over to see Steve come into view.

Bucky sighed. The last person he would want to see this, is the one that walks up. He already knew what Steve was going to say about it all. Steve won't admit it to Bucky, he knows how disappointed Steve is of him. In another way he didn't want to prove Steve right.

"Oh, hi Natasha," Steve surprisingly says.

"Hi," she awkwardly waved.

"Didn't know you would be here," he said, not giving Bucky his full attention.

"Yeah, I came with some of my sorority sisters."

"Oh, so you weren't invited," he side-eyed Bucky.

"No, just a coincidence," she cleared her throat.

"How perfect," Steve mumbled finally making eye contact with Bucky.

"Steve-"

"Where's Elizabeth?" Steve cut off Bucky.

"She went to her room," Bucky tells him.

"I'm assuming she saw this as well," Steve says waving his hand in between Natasha and Bucky. Natasha looked down and Bucky just nodded his head.

"You should go," Steve says looking first at Nat, then at Bucky, "Both of you." Natasha nodded her head, before slipping by Steve and down the stairs.

"If I could just explain what happened," Bucky pleaded.

"It's pretty clear as day what happened Buck," Steve harshly says, trying not to raise his voice, "Your hair, Nat's inside out shirt, an empty house. Come on Bucky, we're not fucking idiots."

"And with Natasha, again," Steve shakes his head, "There's nothing you could say that could fix all of this. Elizabeth gave you another chance, and you had sworn you weren't going to mess it up like last time. You had continuously said you were a changed man. Yet here we are in the exact same situation, we were in a year and a half ago."

"I didn't mean for this to happen," Bucky defended, "I had even ended it all with Nat. I swear. I was just as surprised as you were to see her here."

"Yeah, so surprised you decided to greet her with a fuck," Steve scoffed.

"Hey," Bucky raised his voice, pointing his finger at Steve, "That's not what that was. Natasha is not a 'fuck'. I care about her okay. I truly do."

"You sure have a great way of showing the women you love that you do."

"This wasn't supposed to happen," Bucky yelled, "You think I like doing this? You think I like treating Elizabeth or Nat like this? Fuck no. Do they deserve so much better than me. Yes. A million times yes. I don't know why I can't just fucking decide between the two of them."

"You really need to figure your shit out Buck, “Steve sighed, realizing arguing with Bucky isn't going to get anybody anywhere.

"We aren't kids anymore. You can't just keep going between Nat and Liz. You need to figure out what, who, you truly want to be. You can't keep being this person. I know you and I know you don't want to hurt anybody, but you are man."

"I just don't know what I want," Bucky confessed, shoulder slouching over defeated by all the pain and trouble he's caused those around him.

"Then take some time to figure it out," Steve says, "Work on yourself. More than just a year. Go see a therapist. There's only so much I can do to help. Once summer ends I'll be back in California. You also can't rely on others to get you out of your shit.

"You," Steve pokes Bucky's chest, "have got to want it. For yourself. Not for me. Not for your mom. Not for Natasha. Not even for Elizabeth."

Bucky nods his head, agreeing with everything Steve is saying. Really listening to his best friend.

"Buck, you do have to go though," Steve says softly placing his hand on Bucky's shoulder.

"I know," he sighs, "I'll be gone in the next hour."

Both men hug before parting ways.

Steve softly knocks on Elizabeth's door. He doesn't hear an answer, he carefully opens the door peering in.

"Liz, it's Steve, can I come in?" He says looking over to where she was sat on a bed, her back facing him.

She nods her head, hoping he sees not trusting her own voice.

Steve quietly enters the room and closes the door behind him, before going to sit next to Liz.

He quietly sat next to her, slowly putting his arm around her, bringing her close.

He knew that she was silently crying, and that all she wanted was silence.

All they could hear were the sounds of the fireworks going off outside. Steve looked up at the balcony doors facing them, and could see the sight of the colorful lights filling the darkening sky.

"Thanks," Elizabeth sniffled, lifter her head up, yet still avoiding eye contact with Steve.

Elizabeth couldn't help but feel embarrassed about the whole situation. She didn't want to bring any drama to this weekend, yet it some how followed her there.

"Anytime," Steve says, rubbing her back hoping she'll look at him, so he could get another confirmation that she was really okay.

"I'm such an idiot," she said, still focused on the balcony doors.

"No you're not," Steve says eyebrows furrowed from her response, "Bucky's the idiot. Not you."

"I am though," she finally turned her head towards him, making eye contact. Steve could see how her eyes were still glossy. He hated seeing her like this. It just made him want to go and punch Bucky in the face.

"Why did I think this time would be any different from last time?"

"Because Bucky swore to you that it was going to be," Steve tells her.

"Yeah, and like an idiot I believed him."

"If believing makes you an idiot then I must be one too, because I believed him as well," Steve tries to tell her, "We all thought things were different, even he did, but some people need more than a year to figure their shit out. And clearly Bucky needs that.

"And I'm not trying to defend him. That's the last thing I want to do. These are his own mistakes that he needs to fix himself. I just don't want you blaming yourself for something that had absolutely nothing to do with you."

"This is a reflection on James, not you," he tells her.

"Why did he have to do this again, with her of all people," Elizabeth's voice cracked, the tears beginning to fall down her face again.

There was no use in hiding the pain she was feeling. Bucky had once again broken her the only way he knew how.

"Honestly who the fuck knows," Steve says continuing to rub Elizabeth's back, "He doesn't even know, so that should be a clear indication that Bucky shouldn't be with anyone but himself."

"I will never be able to compete with someone like Natasha," she numbly says, staring back out the balcony doors, "I can't just take whatever I want with no care who gets hurt along the way. If that's who he really wants to be with, then we were never going to work. And I was still living in some damn fairytale to think everything would've been better this time around."

"And I think I'm more mad at myself," she says, "For allowing myself to fall back in love with him. When there were clearly so many signs that showed that he was hiding something the entire time. Like how could I be so naive to let this happen again. To let him break me again.

"I had been so happy before I came back home. I had felt like I was discovering who I'm supposed to be, and then I allow Bucky into this new chapter of my life. And he just goes and destroys that. And I let him. I let him affect me in such a way that I shouldn't have allowed him to. But yet here we are again, in the same position we were in a year and a half ago. But this time I have myself to blame. Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

"Liz," Steve sympathetically says, unsure of what he could say.

"I know, I know, it's not my fault," she sighs, "Just let me wallow in my self pity for now."

"Okay," Steve said turning his head back towards the balcony doors to watch the fireworks.

They continued to watch the fireworks in silence.

"Shit," Elizabeth gasped startling Steve.

"What?" Steve asked grasping his chest from the slight jump scare.

"It's your birthday," she said.

"Yeah, you've already wished me a happy birthday," Steve said confused why she was bringing it up.

"No, I mean you're spending your birthday dealing with my shit, instead of out there, having fun, maybe on your way of getting laid," she rambled getting off of the bed.

"Liz calm down," Steve laughs staying seated on the bed reaching up and grabbing her hand to pull her back down to sit next to him.

"I'm ruining your birthday," she insists sitting back down.

"No you're not," he grins shaking his head, "Trust me. There's no place I'd rather be than here with one of my best friends."

He playfully nudged her shoulder with his. Elizabeth was confused why he was choosing her over actually having a good time. But one look at that beautiful smile of his showed her he was telling the truth.

"You're really going to choose me," Elizabeth said pointing at herself, "over birthday sex?"

Steve laughed out loud causing Elizabeth to join in.

"Trust me Liz, I was not planning on having any birthday sex this weekend," he assures her, "There's just too many people in the house for my comfort."

"Ah Stevie likes to be loud," she playfully joked.

"Wouldn't you like to know," he joked back, not able to control the blush creeping on his cheeks.

"Well since you won't be getting laid, how about you open the present I got you," she says getting up to grab the gift bag.

"Liz, you really didn't have to," he says as she hands him the bag.

"Hush, it's your birthday, now open it," she sat back down next to him, giddy with anticipation.

Steve smiled back at Elizabeth, feeding off of her energy. He opened the bag to pull out a new leather bound sketchbook and a brand new set of pencils.

"The guy at the store said those were the best ones," she says, "If they're not what you want the gift receipt is in the bag."

"No, these are perfect," he looked back at her in awe of the thoughtful gift.

"Thank-you," he reached over to hug her.

"You're welcome," she said into his shoulder.

Elizabeth didn't mean to but she took a whiff and caught the amazing smell that is Steve Rogers, cedarwood with a hint of lavender. She closed her eyes tightening the embrace a little more.

Steve was doing the same thing, taking in Elizabeth's classic Daisy by Marc Jacobs perfume. Her signature scent since freshman year of high school.

They slowly pulled apart, their faces inches from each other's, while they gazed into each other's eyes, as the fireworks went off in the background.

Steve's eyes flickered between Elizabeth's eyes and lips. He doesn't know what possessed him, but the next thing he knew was his lips on Elizabeth's.

Elizabeth was taken back at first, but then felt herself relaxing and kissing back.

It was almost like it was magnetic. Like they were destined to be kissing one another.

Steve quickly pulled away once the realization of what he was doing kicked in.

"I'm so sorry," he jumped off the bed, "I don't know what came over me. I definitely shouldn't have done that."

"Steve it's okay," Elizabeth stood up, trying to calm him down.

"No, it's not," he stressed pacing back and forth.

"Steve, I kissed you back," she tries to reason with him, "If I didn't want to kiss you, I would've pulled away."

"But I still kissed you. After all you've been through today, I should not have done that."

"Steve, if you're insinuating that you took advantage of the situation, you didn't," she tells him, "We were both caught up in the moment. If you hadn't kissed me first, I'm sure I would've done it."

"This was not how I wanted this to happen," Steve mumbled quietly.

"Have what happen like this?" Elizabeth asked, confused,

"I-," Steve paused, unsure of how he should say what he's been feeling these last couple of months.

"Steve?" Elizabeth quietly calls out.

"I-," Steve takes a deep breath and release, "Please don't let what I say ruin our friendship. Please know that this wasn't something I ever expected to happen."

"Okay," she nodded her head letting him continue.

"For the last couple of months, I might've started developing feelings for you," he tells her.

"Oh," she said not expecting him to say that.

"Believe me, I never planned on saying anything," he tells her, "Not when you and Buck had all this history. And most importantly not when you two decided to try again. This was a secret I was going to take to the grave with me."

"Why?" Elizabeth curiously asked.

"Because it's you, and there's Bucky."

"Not anymore," she says.

"What?" He asked taken back.

"There was Bucky. Emphasis on the was," she says grabbing his hands, "Bucky and I are done. For good. We shouldn't have even tried again."

Steve looked down at their entwined hands.

"I'm not saying we have to do anything now," she says causing Steve to snap his head back to her face, "I'm going to need some time to get over all this mess."

"Wait, what are you saying?" Steve asked confused out of his mind.

"I'm saying that I've kind of had a secret crush on you as well," she confessed,

"Since Loki's party to be more precise."

"Oh," Steve says stunned by the revelation.

"Yeah, but for the same reason you kept your's a secret, I kept mine. But he's not in the picture anymore."

"But I can't jump into this," she says, "Now with you of all people, because I don't want you to think you're just some second place prize. Cause you're not.

"You're my best friend. First and foremost. And I can't ruin that by rushing this. My heart still needs to mend from the damage Bucky has done. My mind needs to mend."

"I wouldn't want us to rush it as well," Steve agrees.

"I 100% understand it wouldn't feel right when you're not mentally into it. Not when your mind is elsewhere."

"I also don't want you to feel like you have to wait for me as well," she says, "because I don't know how long I'm going to need."

"Also I don't want you to feel like you have to be with me," Steve adds, "If you decide whenever you're ready to be with someone you won't hurt my feelings if you decide it's not with me. I'm a grown up, I can handle the truth."

"Okay," she let go on his hands and took a step back.

She held out her right hand, "You've got a deal."

Steve lets out a soft laugh and shook Elizabeth's hand, "Deal." ________________

The next morning everyone was lounging around. Tired from last night's festivities. Wanda and Elizabeth were lounging in the back drinking their coffee waiting for brunch to be ready.

"So are you going to tell me what really happened last night?" Wanda asked taking a sip from her mug.

"I did tell you the truth."

"Bull," Wanda said, "Did Bucky really have a family emergency?"

"That's what he said," Elizabeth shrugged.

"You're really not going to tell me what happened?"

"No, not yet," Elizabeth says, "All you need to know is that Bucky and I are officially done. And he had to leave early."

"Are you okay?'

"Currently?" Elizabeth ponders, "No. I just want to put it in the back of my mind for the rest of the weekend. I just want to enjoy this. Once I'm back to reality I'm sure I'll have another good cry.

"Then I'm sure I'll be ready to tell you everything that happened las tonight. But for now let's not even think about that."

"Whatever you say," Wanda said, taking another sip of her coffee watching Elizabeth closely.

Wanda wanted to keep asking questions but she knew Elizabeth's plan was probably for the better let her have her last two days of peace, because come Monday once Elizabeth is back in Brooklyn that'll all be out the window. And Wanda will be there to help pick up the pieces. __________________

Wanda was right. That Monday afternoon as they got back to the Sanchez house, Elizabeth let all her built up emotions out. She told Wanda everything that happened, even the kiss with Steve. Elizabeth expressed her confusion over everything. Wanda assured her that she didn't have to worry about anything or anybody but herself.

So that's what Elizabeth did.

A week after everything had happened Bucky tried to talk to Elizabeth.

"Bucky, I get that you're sorry about what had happened," Elizabeth said as they stood outside on her front porch.

"But as much as I love you and as much as I want to try and put this behind us, I can't," she told him, "You've done this to me two times already, and I can't do this with you again."

"No matter what you say, nothing is going to change my mind," she explained to him, "As much as I want to forgive you again and try and get pass this, I just can't put myself through all this again.

"I loved you with all of me and you destroyed that, twice. I won't let that happen again. I can't go through this again. All you know how to do is hurt me more than anyone else has ever done. I need to protect myself and to do that I can't be with you."

Bucky stared at the broken girl in front of him and nodded his head admitting defeat. He knew what she was saying all true, and there was no coming back from it. He made their kingdom fall apart and he had to live with the consequences from that.

That summer she spent most of her free time to herself. She would also see Steve once a week, they didn't classify those hangouts as dates since they were not going to rush anything.

At the beginning of August, Elizabeth went to go spend a week in Boston with Wanda and her family. It was a nice getaway from Brooklyn.

Once she was back she had two weeks before she moved back to California for the new school year. She was very excited to get back to her life there.

New York had officially destroyed her.

Elizabeth and Wanda got back to California a week before class had officially started. They spent that week unpacking and setting up their new apartment.

Once school had begun any chance of a social life kind of went out the window. Elizabeth threw herself into her school books. She would occasionally find herself being a third wheel now that Wanda and Thor were official. Loki also wasn't throwing as many parties as he used to because he was focused on graduating top of his class that year. On top of applying to the most prestigious law schools in the country.

Elizabeth did find herself lonely sometimes. Those around her had all mysteriously been paired off.

One three day weekend Elizabeth had the apartment to herself Wanda had gone off to Malibu with Thor, who had found a job in LA.

The dread of loneliness was overwhelming. So she found herself inviting Steve to stay the weekend, as friends of course. Steve did not hesitate to accept the offer. That Friday night he was sitting in Elizabeth's living room.

"What do you feel like eating?" Elizabeth asked Steve handing him some takeout menus.

"Lets go for this Italian place you're always raving about," he says handing her the takeout menu for the little mom and pop eatery.

"You're going to love this!" Elizabeth grinned with giddy.

__________

After dinner Elizabeth and Steve were sat on the floor of the living room, laughing and just enjoying each other's company.

"Remember in the seventh grad that horrible haircut you got the day before picture day," Elizabeth laughed leaning into Steve's left side.

"No, lets not remember that!" he laughed, "I can't believe my dad did that to me. My mom was so mad he did that."

"The fact that that's the photo your dad keeps in his wallet makes it even funnier."

"Hey at least you weren't brace face," she tells him.

There was a pregnant pause of comfortable silence.

"Thanks," Elizabeth quietly said.

"For?" Steve asked confused.

"Coming this weekend," she says, "And for being patient."

"Patient?"

"You know with everything," she awkwardly says playing with her fingers.

It clicked in Steve's head what Elizabeth meant.

"You definitely don't need to thank me for that," he tells her, "Plus like I said three months ago, it wouldn't have felt right, not after what had happened."

"I know," she says suddenly feeling insecure about herself, "I just don't understand why you would even want to wait for me."

"What do you mean?" Steve asked confused why she would even say that.

"I mean look at me," she says signaling to herself causing Steve to shake his head.

"I'm no Natasha," she timidly says, "I'm not bold like her. Or confident, or sexy."

"Stop," Steve sternly said, grabbing her face to look at his, "Do not and I repeat, do not compare yourself to Natasha Romanoff. Because you would win in a landslide."

"Please," she scoffed, trying to turn her head away but Steve wouldn't let her.

"Elizabeth Sanchez, you are the most smartest, kindest, sexiest person I have ever known. And the fact that you have no clue that you are just makes you even that more amazing. You don't think you're better than anyone else.

"You have never once looked down on others. You are the first person to reach out to someone in need, never expecting anything in return. You're right, you are no Natasha Romanoff, because you're a million times better."

Elizabeth had tears streaming down her face, completely stunned by Steve's words. she's never heard anyone speak about her in that light. She did the only thing she could think of to do. She closed the space between them, pressing her lips against his.

Steve was taken back at first, but quickly reciprocated the kiss.

They both slowly pulled apart.

"You didn't have to do that," Steve whispered.

"I know, but I wanted to. I've wanted to since your birthday, after we first kissed," Elizabeth confessed, "And it's the best way I could think of to thank you for those kind words. Over the last few months, you've just been my rock.

"I didn't think I would ever feel that way again. Not after everything. My self esteem really took a massive hit. And you've helped me rebuild that, just by being my friend. Listening whenever I I needed someone to vent to.

"You've never made me feel foolish about my feelings. You always make me see the good things in myself, as crazy as that might sound."

"So what does this exactly mean for us?" Steve askes pointing in between them.

"It means," she says reaching for his hands, "I'm ready to give us a try."

"Are you sure?" Steve asks her, trying to maintain his excitement.

"Incredibly sure," she smiles.

"Then I guess we're really doing this thing," he smiled, leaning in closer.

"I guess we are," she leaned in, closing the gap between them.

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oveliagirlhaditright · 3 years

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I don’t know if I can properly do a review for Neo the World Ends With You. I can talk about the bullet points about the plot and how it’s the perfect sequel to TWEWY there, but other than that... I feel like it’s just going to me being like, “It’s good. It’s good. It’s so good” and gushing about my favorite parts. But you know what? Here I’m going to try it, anyway:

So, I saw someone complaining about how the artwork for Neo wasn’t original, because if you put it beside TWEWY (the Switch version), if you didn’t know any better, you might think you had two copies of the same game... And that’s because the creators tried to make this “TWEWY 2″ in every way possible, even with the box arts being so similar. And I just- I love that so much!

I feel like Neo is almost moreso now an act two to TWEWY--the final act--than a sequel, per se.

But, like, a lot of us were theorizing from the beginning that Rindo’s mask thing might be tied to him not speaking up, like Neku’s headphones were tied to how he shut people out. And this was true. And, ahh. What a beautiful thing this was. To have such protagonists for the two games and to see them grow. And while I expected Rindo’s character arc, it was honestly a lot better than I was expecting. I grew to like him a lot more than I thought I would. And I loved him making the decisions to go back and try to save his friends, even though he knew it might make things worse, when before he could rarely make a decision on his own. I really felt his struggle here, and it was executed well and this was pay-off after everything that came before it.

TWEWY gave us Taboo Noise and Neo gave us Plague Noise. At first, this kind of bothered me. Because I thought if one could make Plague Noise, surely someone like Sho or Mr. H would have tried that in the first game, when they were trying to become Composer and save Shibuya, respectively. But now that I get what they were going for with it, I’m all for it. And TheDeliveryGod points out that they might be a reference to Covid with the “Plague” name and with Rindo wearing a “mask”, which I hadn’t thought about. I know they started coming up with some of this before that, but maybe. Edit: This all ties into Neku and Rindo’s character arcs, too. Originally, Neku didn’t want anyone to force their values on him and probably would have been happy if they all thought like him. But in the end, everyone IS thinking alike and it’s not what he wanted at all. In Neo, Rindo has a problem of speaking up and making decisions. And in Neo, this leads to people not being able to think at all.

Anyway, TWEWY had everyone brainwashed by the end and Neo had it so they couldn’t think at all. And oh my gosh, I did not think that Nagi and Fret’s psychs would come in to save the day (and Neku and Tsugumi’s as well), but this is another amazing payoff and I could watch this segment again and again. Eep! It was such a beautiful text bubble scene and cutscene!

And when I was first playing the game, I was starting to worry if they’d delve deep into the characters... and really explain everything, make me care about everyone and everything and add replay value. But they did. They really did. I never thought they’d make me care about the Shinjuku Reapers, but here we are. I feel so bad for that tragic family now. And ahh! Knowing that Shoka is Swallow now has so much replay value! ...And makes her and Rindo even more shippable, of course. I’ve gone back and played a few chapters and I can see it now. Ahh. And of course, the character development is spot-on. Which is what TWEWY is all about. I never should have doubted. I really loved all the flashbacks with our girl Shoka, too, and seeing her and Ayano’s relationship, and what she was like before she found herself with Gatto Nero.

Rindo gets pulled back into the RG similarly to Neku’s ending! And at first, you think that’s his happy ending, too! But all is not right, of course. But because Neku’s struggles (him finally letting people in) got the attention (a change of heart) of another higher being (the Composer, Joshua, and he gave Neku and the gang their happy ending), it does the same thing with the angel Haz. And can I just say... there’s something about this whole segment that is just sublime? I want to watch it over and over and over again. It oddly might be my favorite part of all of TWEWY now, and that is really saying something. But Neku’s story was about letting people in and he did that, so story out. But Rindo’s was about making decisions... and he has one more important decision to make--the biggest one--before he can get his happy ending, and Haz leads him to it, subtly. Sort of like how I think Joshua was subtly trying to get Neku to change his mind about destroying Shibuya in TWEWY.

Oh. And you finish off the big bad by doing a Fusion with your whole party again, and you all sort of land/flash on the ground afterwards like you did in TWEWY, too!

And I’ve rambled enough about the new NeShiki scene in my NeShiki posts since Neo. But that essentially being a continuation of their scene from TWEWY: MMM. My heart! It almost makes not seeing Shiki’s face all these years worth it for that moment. Almost.

And then the title changing to “The World Begins With You” again, but with Neo this time... is just the most beautiful and awe-inspiring thing they could have done and I can’t thank them enough for it.

And the sheer joy I felt when I realized that this game had Another Day, too.

There are other smaller things, too. Like I’m pretty sure shark Noise start appearing on the day they did in the original (the day Rhyme got erased). And how Transformation--a song that plays as boss battle music against Sho--plays when you first meet him in TWEWY.

Neo really is TWEWY2 through and through, even though the developers didn’t want to call it that (so newcomers knew they could play it without knowing the first game), and I can’t thank them enough for that. What a wonderful world this was. ^_^

Oh! And the ending scene with Rindo and Shoka playing FanGo was the cutest thing I’ve ever seen--the perfect ending, really--and felt like it came straight out of a Disney movie.

It makes me wish I could rewatch all of this in one-go... except I can’t. Haha.

Oh, and of course I love that we get a new menu art, ala what FFXV did, where the darkness is gone and we have Neku in the art, too:)

...

And now onto a few tidbits of some of my million favorite scenes:

I love that Beat calls Nagi Pinny. LOL. I love everything about Beat in this game. Speaking of:

That one quest where that one guys becomes possessed with Noise and is fretting about his sister and you fix him up, and Beat says, “I love a guy who cares about his little sis.” :)

And when you’re exploring the urban legends (that is very Twilight Town KHII, I must say. Side note: Stealth Sneak from KH, I can’t believe you made it here, too), and you’re doing the stair ones, and Nagi falls down them and Beat’s like, “Yo, Pinny. You, ai’ight?!”:D:D:D

I think this was another part of the urban legend day, but when that guy imprinted on that girl to just end her friendship with all her friends, since she was stressing about friends growing further apart, so he decided to just cut her losses. And Beat was like, “How about I imprint you to stick your hand up where the sun don’t shine, yo?”

Or in Another Day, when Beat says to Neku, “We’re not getting much screen time,” and Neku replies, “Let’s let the kids have it. That gives us more time to...” Beat: “That’s right: Tin Pin Slammer!” Nagi: “Those two sure seem to have gotten themselves into something exciting over there.” Shoka (I think it was Shoka): “Oh, they’re playing that game that was super popular three years ago.” Hahaha. I also loved the reference to Reaper Creeper with Rhyme and Coco, and Nagi and Fret being like WTF is that?

All of the character interactions are wonderful, and you know I’ll be making posts upon posts about them. But I love that we passed the Bechdel Test with some sweet Shoka and Nagi moments.

That whole scene where Joshua helps Shoka and Rindo is just the greatest. I keep watching it over and over. I love that he helps her in such an asshole-y way. Everything’s a game to him (though you know what? Maybe it’s also a reference to Rindo and Shoka meeting and bonding through FanGo) Oh, Josh. But maybe that was the only way he could do it. The Neku and Josh scene is also wonderful (he tried to help Neku after Coco shot him. He did... even if it was to lock Neku in Shinjuku for three years, because he didn’t trust him to blab that Josh was the Composer? I’m kind of with Neku on that one, “Oh, brother”. But it all worked out in the end, and the following moment with Neku and Josh is really special).

Though I really am wondering why he didn’t help more, and why no one thought to get the Composer for help... probably because he couldn’t interfere. Got to get those secret reports to explain everything, I’m sure. You know what? I’m sure he was actually pulling some strings behind the scenes.

Adore all the stuff with Rhyme. I’ve gushed about that in other posts. She’s so cute now! Always was. And I’ve so proud of my hacker daughter!

Shutting up now. And expect a million more Neo posts in the future. What a game. What a series! So glad I can say that about TWEWY now.

Edit: And I’m so glad that angels were in here, and that that plot got expanded on from the original!

#neo spoilers #ntwewy spoilers #neo twewy spoilers #spoilers

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popwasabi · 3 years

Text

“End of Evangelion” and the tempting nature of oblivion

(TW: Suicide, Self-harm, Pain, Depression, Mental Health, Death)

“End of Evangelion” is a perplexing movie to say the least.

Not that the original classic anime “Neon Genesis Evangelion” series ends on exactly the most conclusive note itself, but “End” takes everything that transpired in the series and literally destroys it.

The films ends with Earth experiencing the long foreshadowed Third Impact and all of the planet returning to the primordial “soup,” as fans call it, with its main protagonist Shinji Ikari and comrade Asuka Langley Soryu as the only remaining humans left. A pseudo, twisted rebeginning of Adam and Eve’s Genesis.

The film is fairly divisive among the fans to say the least. Some fans consider it a masterpiece for its nihilistic tone and mind-bending illustrations of body horror and others despised it for being too dark and confusing with no clear explanation of anything that happened in the film’s events. Hell, even the movie’s fans have a difficult time explaining what exactly happens in the narrative.

I was somewhat in the middle with it after I watched it the first time not super long ago. It was certainly abstract, and I like plenty of stories that don’t make it easy for me to understand. The animation is definitely the franchise’s best and I enjoyed the character moments between Shinji, Asuka, and Misato. But it was also, as stated before, dreadfully confusing and still to this day hard to makes heads or tails out of with its plot.

But, as with more than a few movies I have revisited this year, 2020 helped me contextualize one aspect I think the story is concretely trying to get across.

(We’ll save discussion of “Rebuild” for another day...)

At my lowest points not long ago, I had this frequent vision that would crawl across my mind.

I imagined being up in the clouds on a beautiful sunny day, but I wasn’t floating or flying. I was plummeting, falling like a bird without wings at a speed that would definitely kill me once I got to the ground. But I never imagined actually hitting the Earth like a meat-bagged, human sized asteroid. I only ever imagined the falling part. The wind reaching a terminal velocity and the air rushing past my body and you know what look I had on my face?

Happiness.

I was confused a bit by why I kept imagining this moribund fall into oblivion over and over again. I wasn’t suicidal, though I certainly have had thoughts of self-harm plenty of times before and general detachment from life. But why the fuck was I so happy? I’m about to die after all!

What I have come to realize in recent years, as I’ve developed a better understanding of my mental health and what makes me tick, it wasn’t that I wanted to die so much as I wanted the freedom that comes moments before it. The feeling of finally letting go and letting fate/gravity do the rest.

Years of my life failing at various aspects of societal expectations and career obligations from not being able to get the girls I wanted to date so badly, relationships ending poorly, not quite applying myself the way I should’ve in college, and working a plethora of unfulfilling jobs since graduation made me yearn for that release. Just that feeling of saying “fuck it all” and giving in to the void.

I wanted to stop feeling out of control. The way the world is structured often feels like you are on a wild, rapid river flowing in one very stark direction but you desperately want to go the other way. You keep fighting and fighting it and realize after a while you are just swimming in place, you tire out and either float where the river wants you to go or you drown. I wanted neither of those things, I just wanted control and unfortunately part of life is accepting that a very large percentage of it is beyond your power to alter.

2020 made this feeling starkly apparent once again as we were hit with a once in a lifetime global pandemic that has killed 2.21 million people and counting. As common people struggle to find ways to handle the loss of loved ones and the fallout from economic instability those tasked with protecting us have more or less ignored the cries of needy. Hell, they’re fucking miffed that we would even have the audacity to ask for $2000 of our own fucking tax dollars to put a band-aid on the situation. Combine this with an extremely volatile two-party system and late stage capitalism, we are about as out of control as ever in terms of how much we actually can course correct our destinies in a period like this.

It is why so many irony-pilled millennials and gen z-ers are posting dank memes about meteors colliding with the earth over the course of the year. We’ve lived through two recessions, two forever wars, and now a pandemic in our lifetimes while paying off our crippling debt with slave wages and yet boomers still wonder why we are near universally depressed as a generation.

(Seriously, everybody needs a fucking therapist right now...and also to dismantle the fucking system that’s making us depressed!)

This is what I feel is the real heart of “End of Evangelion.” The movie is a lot of things, obviously, but, after the events of this year and looking back on the more depressing parts of my life, I feel this film is about the tempting nature of oblivion. Giving up when things are clearly beyond your control so you can get that sweet but twisted, fleeting sense of freedom from it all.

Director Hideaki Anno didn’t feel too entirely different about the state of life when he made this series and certainly by the time he made “End” he was in a very dark place.

So, quick history lesson, “Neon Genesis Evangelion” debuted in 1994 and quickly became a classic among fans of anime and the giant mech vs monster genre. Critics loved it for its exploration of mental health and depression and of course plenty enjoyed the hell out of it for its giant monster/robot escapism as well. Fast forward to the conclusion of the series, critics and fans especially are far more polarized. I won’t try to explain exactly what happens in the ending and frankly I don’t think anyone can, but that confusion led to quite a bit of outcry by the fans.

Hideaki Anno, the series’ director, received tons of hate mail and death threats following the series conclusion. The fans hated how abstract it was, how it had an undecisive ending and chose to dive into the mind of Shinji instead of conclusively describing the events of the Third Impact with plenty going as far as to say he had “ruined” his own series for them. This made him unfortunately quite depressed himself over the ending he felt creatively fairly content with.

(I think it should be clear who Shinji is mostly likely a stand-in for in this anime...)

The fan reaction was toxic to say the least and all too familiar for many creatives who didn’t adequately satisfy the insatiable vapid needs of their fandom. Anno did not take this well to put it lightly. A man who was known as a delinquent in high school and expelled from the Osaka University of Arts much earlier in his life, and dealt plenty with his own bouts of depression, Anno had plenty of his own demons to sort out and quite clearly wanted to explore that mental state in “Neon Genesis Evangelion.”

I’ll be honest and say that I myself was not fond of the ending either when I watched it the first time as a freshman in college, and even went as far as to describe it as everything that was wrong with anime to friends in the years that followed for a while. I felt it was confusing and “fake deep,” existential for no reason other than because it just wanted to and people were “dumb” if they liked it.

When I rewatched it again as a much older adult when it came on Netflix last year, I found it much more fascinating and interesting. A sort of abstract introspective into the mind of a troubled teenager, who I had written off many years prior as a “whiny baby.” Though I wouldn’t say I completely understand it still, I get it much more now and I think it has a lot to say about depression and mental health.

Unfortunately, most fans did not have that reaction back then and as a result Anno made his true conclusion “End of Evangelion” as a response to that negativity.

(You’re welcome, nerds.)

As mentioned before, “End of Evangelion” is an extremely nihilistic film that seems to one up each dark moment as you traverse its spiraling narrative. It’s a film where things never get better. If you go into it blind expecting that big last minute heroic save the day moment, it’s always teased and never comes. Things just end very badly for everyone. Nobody gets a “happy ending.”

While the ending to the original series is strange for sure, it does end on a light note that can be interpreted in a number of different ways but ultimately positive. With the way fans reacted to it Anno decided to write a big “fuck you” to them by, in many ways, smashing his toys so no one could play with them again. He even went as far as to splice in the actual hate mail he received into the movie to quite clearly show to the audience, as their favorite characters met their grissly ends, that this was their fault.

(“Gee, I wonder what that was all about.” ~ a fan walking out of the theater back in 1997.)

In a way though, Anno created something strangely beautiful from that reaction. “End of Evangelion” is about giving up in some ways and accepting our inevitable doom. There are no easy answers, no workable solutions to achieve a happy ending because sometimes in life there isn’t one. Despite last ditch efforts by Misato, Shinji, and the crew of NERV the world still ends through the Third Impact. But tonally it’s not quite pessimistic; it’s actually positive, in a very twisted sense of course.

Set to the song “Komm Susser Tod” by ARIANNE, the film’s apocalypse can almost be described as a celebration. With people “popping” and turning into the primordial soup they all largely have smiles on their faces as they kind of get what they want whether it’s a desire to reunite with loved ones, to be with people they have crushes on, or happiness that they have sought for so long in the embrace of others. Everyone’s depressed! But now they are happy because it’s finally all over, they don’t have to give a shit anymore.

As the planet lights up like a Christmas tree, there are images of suicide and death that rapidly cross the screen in the form of the Angel’s final transformation but again, nobody is truly sad about it. They all have some kind of twisted smile or joy that they get from it. It’s a shocking film, if you’re not already prepared for what’s going to happen, and provocative to say the least.

youtube

(Can’t decide if I recommend watching this high or not...)

I had no idea what any of it meant at the time when I watched it several years ago (I watched it well after I had seen the original series), and to be fair there are many ways fans have interpreted what exactly took place in the film and have debated endlessly on its meaning for decades now. But at least in my interpretation, after everything we’ve been through this year, “End of Evangelion” to me is about the sweet release of not giving a fuck anymore.

Whether it’s about Anno feeling that way about his own life or the expectations of his fans or both, the film quite clearly doesn’t care about what people may or may not have wanted for Shinji and the NGE characters and is perfectly fine with the way it all comes “tumbling down.”

(He just wants to be with his boyfriend, guys.)

This past July 4th, city fireworks shows were prohibited in my area because they wanted to limit mass gatherings due to COVID but this didn’t stop people from buying plenty of their own to fire off. In what amounted to a collective “fuck you” to everything and 2020, beginning pretty much exactly at dusk people started firing off their at home lightshows like they were mortar gunners in World War I and did not let up until well past midnight. The entire Southern California night sky was lit up not to unlike the thousands of crosses that filled the screen during the Third Impact of “End of Evangelion” and though it could certainly be interpreted as a moment of people patriotically going “Yea, America!” that night, my head canon was much different. It felt like tens of thousands of people across the region just saying “Fuck it” into the night sky at everything; COVID, our horrendous government, police violence, pending World Wars, environmental disaster, and our collective impending doom from it all.

As these fireworks hit their zenith around 9pm I broke out my phone and started playing “Komm Susser Tod” from the movie and it felt perfect. Everyone just wanted to feel that freedom in the moment, that freedom of not giving a damn anymore. To be removed from expectations, from control, from hatred, from pain and it was kind of beautiful in a sick way.

And that’s what “End of Evangelion” feels like to me now; kind of beautiful in a sick way.

(Not saying the LA skyline looked like this exactly but it felt like it haha...)

There are still many ways to interpret Hideaki Anno’s cult classic, and it’s part of its charm but I think the take away fans should have is definitely not that suicide is ok but that we get it. We understand why people have those feelings and why it feels freeing to desire the void and oblivion. It’s a pity that the series most toxic fans didn’t get that clue through the original finale but Anno, not a person who likes being shoved around, clearly created perhaps the most twistedly beautiful “fuck you” to that in anime history.

As we enter 2021 all I can say is it’s ok to feel like this, it’s ok to desire freedom from the relentless gloom and doom of the world and people’s prying expectations of what they think you “should” be. No one blames you. At the end of the day, we’re all just trying to survive the apocalypse we have zero control over, so the least we can do is be a bit nicer and considerate of one another.

At least it’ll make the Third Impact more pleasant whenever it eventually comes...

Happy New Year, everyone!

Congratulations on surviving 2020! Have fun in 2021...

#neon genesis evangelion #end of evangelion #evangelion #hideaki anno #anime #japan #90s #vintage anime #2020 #apocalypse #covid #mental health #depression #sadness #horror #shinji #covid19 #quarantine

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the-flying-urayuli · 2 years

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alright so im watching inside for the millionth time rn so i decided to write down some thoughts on certain parts of the special

i can already tell this is gonna be personal, also please tag me in your own theories i quite like reading them

white womans instagram: the most beautiful fucking moment in this special, i think its about how we stereotype people harshly without knowing that they all have depth to them, and they have lives as well.

unpaid intern: quite obvious, bo says it himself that the song is taking a twist on old songs about working hard and the labour exploitation of people for corporal benefit. i think also interesting is the part afterwards with the reaction, i think that part is about how you look at your older work that you poured your heart into and just see its shit.

look whos inside again: bo burnham became famous after writing some songs on the internet while he was just a bored guy in his room, the covid pandemic gave him a reason to hide back inside, and never want to leave again

welcome to the internet: ah the internet, where people can become famous or forgotten in seconds. where everyone in the world is rapidly talking around you. you can get away with almost anything as long as it isnt a crime, hell you can get away with some, millions of guys show their dick to strangers each day. everyone you can think of is here, pedophiles and children right next to each other. you can say basically what ever you want and someone will support you. you can see horrific news right next to mums filimg their kids at a festival. misinformation spreads like wildfire and you can destroy a life with a paragraph. hell children see porn and gore here why not. not to mention the mass corporations, showing the internet off as a place where you will be adored by everyone, and that its always been for you. everything is happening, all of the time, the whole world is at your finger tips, but you can destroy it in the process. so basically its about how the internet is so vast and massive and everything is happening at once.

that funny feeling: this’ll be a long part cause i want to sorta look into all or most of the lines in this song, if you want more of them just go to the genius page for the song (https://genius.com/Bo-burnham-that-funny-feeling-lyrics) but this is just my personal interpretation

so on a basis, “the funny feeling” bo is describing is hard to word but its that feeling that “the world is melting apart and we could fix it, but we dont” or “we’ve fucked up everything”. thanks some random reddit user for explaining it to me but ill get into the lyrics

stunning 8k resolution meditation app: in honour of the revolution its half of at the gap (google app store: the revolution was a big event that changes and took the lives on many, and all we do to honour it was give a half off discount.

a gift shop at the gun range a mass shooting at the mall: so im not american but in america, gun violence is everywhere, it takes the lives of so many innocent people every year and every time something viscous happens politicians and the media just go “well ok”, and when confronted about the issue and how we could solve it they just say they cant or they shouldnt. i wanted to stay un political but look at this movie, a lot of it is political

reading pornhubs terms of service: porn and masturbation is something that brings you joy, but at a point it all just feels so numb, nothing brings you emotion anymore and all you can do is feel ashamed, so you sit there and just read the tos cause who even cares anymroe

obeying all the traffic laws in grand theft auto 5: gta is a game you play for thrill and to break shit, but instead youre just sitting there and calming driving along, cause like the other one, things and games you used to enjoy just dont feel the same anymore.

hey what can you say? we were overdue, but itll be over soon, you wait: imo the best line in the special, who cares anymore, we’ve all lived longer than we ever thought we would, but who cares we probably dont have much longer anyway. or its talking about optimistic nihilism where you go “hey we’re all gonna die anyway, lets stop freaking out about everything and just let it wash over us”

all eyes on me: it feels like that one peaceful moment you get in the mess, the eye of the storm. the feeling when you sit there on the floor of your room and look out the window and you just feel still. you stop overthinking everything and all the mess just melts away, just for a little while.

any way yeah peace bye

#inside #bo burnham

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seriouslyhooked · 3 years

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Nothing Can Hurt Me

CS one-shot that rewrites the ending of 4x23. This has the angst of a would-be goodbye and none of the follow through. if you do not like overly fluffy happy endings, this fic is not for you. If, however, you want a solid dose of hope and a much needed true love’s kiss, please enjoy! Available on FF Here and AO3 Here.

A/N: Hey everyone! Hope you are all well and surviving as best you can in this strange and stressful time. I know I personally have needed some hope and light and love, and writing has been one way for me to try and find it. That’s what motivated this little drabble, which is a rewrite of the end of season 4. I once shared a rewrite for the reunion in that episode (4x23), but this is the final scene where Emma sacrifices herself to the darkness. I know it has been AGES since I rewrote a scene of Once, but this song (’Nothing Can Hurt Me by Frida Sundemo) gave me the idea and… well, you can all be the judge of how I did. Anyway, thanks for reading, and hope you enjoy!

Running from Gold’s shop to the center of town, Emma felt the weight of all this chaos gripping her tighter and tighter.

So much had happened – so much was always freaking happening – and the crazy train in this town never showed any signs of stopping. Apparently, they needed Merlin (you know, like the magical wizard from the legends of Camelot) to be rid of this dark force, but there was no indication of how to go about finding him. They had nothing but yet another vague clue, and if Emma gave her thoughts any space to dwell on that, she’d probably go mad. Instead she channeled all the frustration and fear into running. They had no choice. They had to fight. It was the only way.

“Where is it?” she asked, sprinting towards the center of town with Killian hot on her heels.

“We don’t know,” her father answered, scanning her over, and seeing she was no worse for wear despite this latest upset.

“It just disappeared into the night,” her mother affirmed, gazing to the skyline for any trace of the magic that was hunting them all. Her archer’s instinct was on full display, and if anyone was going to see movement in the dark of the night it would be Snow White. Emma for her part looked out there and saw nothing but the inky black sky and the eerily quiet streets of Storybrooke.

“What’s going on?” Regina asked, appearing from down the way with Robin at her side. Killian explained to the best of his ability, allowing Emma to keep watch.

“The Dark One, it’s no longer tethered to the Crocodile.”

“What? Where the hell is it?”

The edge in Regina’s voice was reminiscent of tones Emma had heard from the Evil Queen, but Emma knew it was not just anger that made for the change in Regina. It was fear too. Still, they had to keep searching. Emma’s eyes traced over everything, hoping for a sign even while praying this was all just some kind of bad dream. Then it dawned on her, they couldn’t see it because it was everywhere. This force of nature was as smart as it was evil, a malicious magic intent on harming anything that wandered into its path or stood in its way. Right now it had no need to show itself, and instead it was spreading as far and wide as it could. The presence of it stopped the air from circulating. The darkness hung just out of sight, but it stifled everything. The only thing Emma could hear for a moment was the crackling of the electricity flowing through the powerlines and her own heart, thumping at a faster rate than normal, pumping adrenaline to every part of her.

Distracted by the silence, Emma missed the tentacled approach of the magic until she heard the breath leave Regina’s lungs. The Queen’s gasp was swift, but the magic was swifter, circling her, and strangling the very life out of her in seconds.

“Regina!” Robin yelled, but Emma barely heard him. Her instincts were crying out to her to help. Use magic! Do something! But she couldn’t. Her panic was winning over and she felt untethered to anything like hope. Moments passed where they all looked on helplessly, and only when Robin realized his efforts were futile did he look to Emma. “What’s it doing?”

“What darkness does,” Emma said, watching Regina grow dimmer and colder. “It’s snuffing out the light.”

“Well I’m not going to let it,” Robin said, running towards the woman he loved only to be thrust back full force to the ground. It was no use. They couldn’t break through. The Dark One’s magic was too powerful.

“That’s not going to work on this thing!” Emma said, wanting to keep Robin from hurting himself anymore. “The apprentice told me we have to do what the sorcerer did. We have to tether it to a person to contain it.”

And then it hit her, That person is me. It has to be. It’s the only way.

Finally, her body caught up with her mind. She walked towards the darkness, repellent as it was, as her parents cried out for her not to go. The only thing that stopped her, however, was Regina’s desperate plea.

“Emma, no!” she forced out, barely holding the darkness at bay but trying with all her might. “There has to be another way.”

“There isn’t,” Emma said, the sick feeling of acceptance washing over her.

The truth was Regina simply wasn’t strong enough to resist the magic’s pull, and despite her attempts to change of late, she wasn’t good enough in her heart to stave something like this off. She had already shown how easy it was for evil to corrupt her, changed intentions or not. With the power of the Dark One… Emma shuddered to even imagine Regina. She’d be even more murderous and deranged than she had been years ago when she was trying to kill her parents and everyone who questioned her power. No, they couldn’t risk Regina being given this curse. They wouldn’t survive.

So this was the moment, then. The one where, after finally feeling like she had a real freaking chance at being happy, Emma was going to give it all up. She was going to trade in this life of promise and positive what-ifs and take instead a sickeningly scary magic that would likely eat her up from the inside out. But it was the only thing that would save them all. Her parents, Henry, Killian… when she looked at it that way, it was a simple choice.

Maybe I live, maybe I don’t, but my life for theirs… I’d make that deal with nothing like regret.

“Emma, no!” her father yelled as she moved towards the darkness. She looked to him and her mother, seeing Killian beside them. Her heart ached, but she shook her head at him. There was no debate in this. It had to be this way.

“You figured out how to take the darkness out of me once. You need to do it again. As heroes.”

“Emma! Emma, please!” Killian begged, running towards her and holding her hand, a final tether to the light. God, she loved this man. And here she was, breaking him apart in a million tiny pieces. “Don’t do this, love. Please.”

Looking in his ocean colored eyes, she saw a flash of everything they could have had if things were different. She knew, in her gut, that this was the only man for her, the only one who could tear down her walls and bolster her up in one fell swoop. He loved her unconditionally and without fail. He’d surrendered so much sooner to the feelings between them, showing her vulnerability that she needed to feel safe and sure, but they were both caught in the same blissful and scary as hell current. He was her soulmate, and this may be the last time she ever saw him.

“I love you,” she confessed, seeing the moment of recognition in his eyes. He’d already known her feelings even if the words never left her lips. They were impossible to hide even though she’d tried so desperately, but the words were coming at the most excruciating time, and even to her ears, they sounded an awful lot like a final goodbye.

Just one more kiss, she thought to herself, pulling him into her and letting the touch of his lips and his warm embrace breathe life into her. For a moment the darkness was nowhere in sight. It was just them. Just their love. Just the hope they shared together, and the dedication of two wills that would give anything to be together. Breaking away was the hardest thing she’d ever done, made all the worse by the fact that she had to take advantage of his distraction to push him back. When she did, she flung herself into the darkness and felt the magic swarm from Regina into her.

The feeling of it coiling around her made her blood run cold, as if she were submerged in ice water. She wanted to shiver from the chill, but could barely move. It was like being stuck in a vat of cement as the darkness descended. An anguished cry sounded out around her, and Emma realized that was her own pain emanating from her chest. The sharp sides of this magic were slicing into her, and unbiddenly she closed her eyes. A montage of the worst memories of her life flashed before her, ripping at old wounds that had never really healed.

It started with the slow crescendo of her childhood, a silent kind of torture where the defining part of every memory was the way she was always left behind. Families she was placed with, other kids in the system, teachers, case workers, all of them abandoned her in one way or another. None of them stayed, and in the end, it was always Emma left standing on her own, lost and forgotten and never ever chosen.

The memories flashed forward to Neal and the heartbreak of giving her love only to have it destroyed and tossed aside like it was nothing. The betrayal of his choices and the sting of losing yet another person, this time in a more malicious way made her as angry as it did sad. Still that was nothing at all to the realization that she was pregnant and the choice she knew she had to make to give Henry up for adoption when she was in jail. That sadness and that heartache was a bone deep one she was sure would never heal.

Only it did, in part, when she came back to Storybrooke. She was finally getting the chance to build a life, reconnecting with her son, but that was mired down by recent memories of Regina being a certifiable nightmare and the jarring moments she’d faced, like Graham’s sudden death. Emma had the comfort of Henry always, but even that had put so much pressure on her. She felt like a failure as a mother, always doubting she could be enough for her brilliant boy and torn between wanting him to have Regina in his life and knowing that Regina had also been deeply flawed in trying to raise her son. Oftentimes it felt like the only thing that got her through that initial time in Storybrooke was finding a true friend in Mary Margaret. She was the first real friend Emma had in her life.

Then she felt the moment that the truth was revealed. Of course, she was shocked with the news that Mary Margaret and David were really her parents, but along with the revelation that she had a family who loved and wanted her, there came a lot of pain, pain that they’d ever given her up in the first place, and pain that she had now lost that special friendship forever. It would never be the same for her and Mary Margaret when she was really Snow, and while she may love her parents dearly now, and had made more peace with their decision to make her a savior instead of a stable and securely loved little girl, it still inflicted so much pain on her and let a little more darkness creep into her heart.

When she’d made the choice to be back in Henry’s life again, she promised herself and her son that she would never do the same. She wouldn’t leave him, not when he deserved her love front and center in his life. But here she was going back on that promise. She didn’t want to leave, but she was barely even here anymore. The darkness had overtaken her. In one last show of strength, she opened her eyes and saw something that broke through the mind-numbing pain of this evil torture – Henry was out there, holding onto Killian and looking on in horror at her being consumed by this.

The tears rained down Henry’s face and she could see him yelling for her, but she couldn’t hear it. The whip of the magic’s winds was too strong. She realized he was actually trying to break through to get to her, but it was Killian holding him back. Looking to her pirate, Emma saw the pain in his gaze, as well as the determination. Determination to keep her son safe even though his own instincts must be screaming at him to try and help her too. God how she loved him. She only wished she’d been brave enough to tell him sooner.

Hold onto the love, Emma, a voice said to her, one that was vaguely familiar but certainly not hers. She did as it said, thinking of the possibilities for her and for Killian. In admitting her feelings, she had opened the door to wanting so much more. She could see things that she never imagined would ever come to pass – a real relationship with dating and affection, a marriage, a family. It was all so picturesque, and yes, it was what she would call a happily ever after, but at the heart of it all there would be one basic ingredient – true and everlasting love.

As if the thought alone sparked something, Emma felt the dark magic flinch. Curious, she continued her test. Finding strength from within, she spoke aloud, finding a command in her tone she never expected. “I love Killian and that love is true. Nothing this darkness does is ever going to change that.”

As if she’d whispered out a spell, magic burst forth, this time in her own familiar shade of bright golden white. It was small at first, but it created a barrier around her, letting her breathe in deeply and recenter herself. She was in awe at the display of power here, amazed that she was able to put up any kind of fight, so she kept going, knowing she’d never forgive herself if she didn’t try.

“I love my parents and my son so much more than I ever thought I could. I used to be afraid to care so much, but I’m not afraid anymore. Not with Henry. Not with my family.”

Again, the magic grew brighter and this time it began to merge with the darkness, touching the blackness that was trying to destroy her and neutralizing it. The color shifted from midnight to onyx, from cobalt to lighter gray, then the darkness was nothing more than a silvery shimmer. Slowly her lighter magic worked through the attacking succubus, and though there was a sound in the air crying out like a wounded animal, Emma knew it was the dying of darkness that was making that cry. The threat, miraculously, was fading, and it was love, and her, that made it possible.

“And most importantly, I can love and accept love because I learned to love myself. I didn’t know that was possible, but now I know that real love, true loves, require that. Because I love myself, I let love guide me. Because I love myself, nothing can hurt me.”

That was it, the last of the darkness was extinguished and the dark one’s dagger fell to the ground, no name etched in its blade any longer. Then they all watched as Emma’s light magic burst forward in a glorious gust, washing out over all of them and beyond. Emma felt it extending to the outer limits of Storybrooke. Her magic had created a layer of protection, a spell made to safeguard all the people she loved. She only had a few seconds to appreciate that, and then she felt Henry lurching towards her in a back breaking hug filled with relief.

“Mom, you did it! You destroyed the darkness, and you saved us all.”

“You think it’s really gone?” Snow asked and Regina and Emma replied at the same time with a resounding “Yes.”

“There’s nothing left of it,” Regina said, flicking her fingers towards the air and pushing her own magic out to test the waters. It’s just…gone.”

“But how?” Killian asked, still standing at somewhat of a distance, his shock so palpable it had frozen him in place.

Emma could see his resistance to believe that this had all concluded this way. He knew the moment she stepped forward the choice she was making in sacrificing herself. She was supposed to leave, supposed to be lost. They were going to be separated through time and space and whatever other fresh hell the Dark One had in store, but here she was, still alive and still very much in one piece. Instinctively she moved towards him, wrapping him up in a hug and loving the feeling when he held her close. They became each other’s anchors to this miraculous moment, and despite the exertion of what had just happened, she felt energized and ready.

“I don’t understand,” Killian murmured, looking into her eyes once more and shaking his head. His hook came to push a strand of her wayward hair back as he gazed at her in wonder. “Merlin was supposed to be the answer. The Apprentice was clear. How did you do it?”

“Love,” Emma said with a smile before rolling her eyes at herself and letting out a groan. God that sounded so freaking cheesy and even if she was eternally grateful for the magic in their love, it was still too much for her to really stomach. “Wow, that sounds corny, doesn’t it?”

“I don’t think it sounds ‘corny’ at all,” her mother said with a bit of huffiness, defensive of the true love status she and David had.

“So in the end all it took was true love’s kiss?” Regina asked, shaking her head as Robin pulled her in his arms and whispered in her ear to be nice. She laughed and then softened her commentary. “I mean don’t get me wrong, I’m glad to be done with this, but we had plenty of that to spare. You think someone might have mentioned it.”

“I don’t think it was that simple,” Emma said, explaining what had happened to her inside that force field. She explained that Killian and Henry and the others were her tethers, but the magic was only complete when she believed in herself.

“You were right then, Swan,” Killian said, holding her hand tightly. “It had to be you. No one else could have handled that as you did.”

“Well except Merlin,” Henry said with a shrug. “But you know what, I bet it was never even about Merlin in the first place.”

“You think?” Emma asked, intrigued and Henry nodded.

“Yeah. I mean every time heroes get sent on a quest it’s about learning a lesson, right?” They all nodded. “And every time anything happens in Storybrooke it’s all of us who have to fix the problem starting with ourselves. The answers are in us the whole time. Especially you, Mom.”

“You know what, kid, I think you may be right.”

“Well you know what that means,” Henry said though no one hazarded a guess. “Since we saved the day we get to celebrate. Cocoa at Granny’s. I’m paying.” Emma looked at Henry quizzically, silently asking where he would have gotten that kind of money. Henry only laughed. “Okay, actually Grandpa’s paying.”

“Works for me,” her Dad agreed, clapping Henry on the shoulder affectionately. From there everyone headed towards the diner, but Emma and Killian lingered a moment more.

“So, it’s really behind us then?” Killian asked.

“Yes, it’s behind us. Can’t promise how long it’ll stay calm and collected here – we haven’t got a great track record in that department – but the Dark One is done. That much I know.”

“And what you said earlier…” Killian couldn’t bring himself to ask the words aloud so Emma moved in closer, running her hand against his jaw and offering him a smile.

“I meant it, Killian, and I am not taking it back. I love you. I really, truly do.”

“Thank the Gods for that, love.”

And with that the two of them kissed, sharing a moment of sheer pleasure and joy. They had averted a crisis and they still had the chance to make this thing between them work. This was a new day for the two of them, and the start of something Emma was eager and a little anxious to explore further.

At the corner of her mind she heard something. Like the sizzle of pancakes on a griddle, or the popping of air in a bubbly drink. She and Killian broke apart, and there it was – that rainbow tinted magic she’d only seen a few times before.

“True love’s kiss,” she whispered, and then the two of them watched as the dagger that once was deteriorated before their eyes. Soon it was nothing more than ash, and as it blew away in the breeze the magic of their embrace rid it from the world entirely.

“Finally,” Killian said, as if he’d been waiting for them to share such a moment forever.

“Been waiting on that have you?” she joked and he looked properly chastised before letting his boyish grin go free.

“Perhaps. Though can you really blame me, Swan? In this town it’s practically a right of passage. Your father and mother certainly talk of little else, and since there is no way anyone loves their partners more than I love you, I just thought –,”

Before he could ramble on about his competitive pirate nature, Emma pulled him by the collar down for another kiss. That successfully silenced him and distracted them both, grounding them in how lucky they were to have this and to have each other. And though they couldn’t steal more than a few more moments together before rejoining the others, Emma knew that they had so much more to live together. For in choosing love, she’d cemented their future, and that future was looking bright, and hopeful, and so much happier than she ever could have dreamed.

……………

Noises from the window Flashes from the street Tired in the backseat And nothing could hurt me Surrounded by the talking Swallowed by the rain Sleeping in the backseat I know that nothing could hurt me It was a long time ago I'm far away but feel like home We're all awake in stereo Keeping the moving ground aglow And nothing can hurt me Yeah, nothing can hurt me I know that nothing can hurt me Yeah, nothing can hurt me I can see you with my eyes shut It flickers past me now Listen to distant chatter I know that everything's alright It was a long time ago I'm far away but feel like home We're all awake in stereo Keeping the moving ground aglow And nothing can hurt me Yeah, nothing can hurt me I know that nothing can hurt me Yeah, nothing can hurt me Nothing that they'd ever do Could never dim any light from the view And any gravel that gets in my way Could never break me apart anyway

Post-Note: So there we have it. I know some of you may be wondering why I felt the need to rewrite this scene, when it brought us to all of the season 5 storylines, but to be honest, I had a very difficult time with this episode when it first aired for two reasons. The first was that yet again Emma was sacrificing herself for everyone, and she just couldn’t have a happy moment. I literally watched the show for Emma. Yes, also for CS, but mostly for Emma herself and as an Emma stan it was just brutal to watch her get the short end of the stick every damn time. But more than that, the written dialogue in the original scene has Emma sacrifice herself in Regina’s place because Regina, ‘worked too hard for her happy ending.’ I always thought that was kind of ridiculous, and I liked Regina as a character. It just wasn’t really true in my estimation. I felt like Emma had worked much harder and had been so much kinder to people, overcoming trauma that was really bad and which made her so guarded and always made her second guess her own worth. But she was still forced to just continuously sacrifice herself and to undermine her own growth for the sake of Regina’s getting some other-character endorsement. I don’t know, like I said, complicated, and many of you may not agree. But I hope you’ll all read this as what it is – an attempt to give EVERYONE a fluffier, nicer outcome. Anyway, thanks so much for reading and see you all next time!

The Captain Swan Mixtape oneshot series:

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9,Part 10,Part 11, Part 12,Part 13, Part 14, Part 15, Part 16, Part 17, Part 18, Part 19, Part 20, Part 21, Part 22, Part 23, Part 24,Part 25, Part 26, Part 27, Part 28, Part 29, Part 30, Part 31,Part 32, Part 33, Part 34, Part 35, Part 36, Part 37, Part 38,Part 39,Part 40, Part 41, Part 42, Part 43, Part 44, Part 45,Part 46,Part 47, Part 48, Part 49, Part 50, Part 51, Part 52, Part 53,Part 54,Part 55, Part 56, Part 57, Part 58, Part 59, Part 60,Part 61,Part 62, Part 63, Part 64, Part 65, Part 66, Part 67, Part 68,Part 69,Part 70, Part 71, Part 72, Part 73, Part 74, Part 75,Part 76,Part 77, Part 78, Part 79, Part 80, Part 81, Part 82, Part 83,Part 84,Part 85, Part 86, Part 87, Part 88, Part 89, Part 90,Part 91,Part 92, Part 93, Part 94, Part 95, Part 96, Part 97, Part 98,Part 99,Part 100, Part 101, Part 102, Part 103,Part 104, Part 105,Part 106, Part 107,Part 108, Part 109, Part 110,Part 111, Part 112,Part 113, Part 114, Part 115,Part 116, Part 117, Part 118,Part 119,Part 120, Part 121, Part 122, Part 123,Part 124, Part 125,Part 126, Part 127, Part 128,Part 129,Part 130, Part 131,Part 132,Part 133, Part 134, Part 135, Part 136, Part 137, Part 138,Part 139,Part 140, Part 141, Part 142, Part 143, Part 144, Part 145,Part 146, Part 147, Part 148,Part 149, Part 150, Part 151,Part 152, Part 153, Part 154, Part 155, Part 156, Part 157, Part 158,Part 159, Part 160, Part 161, Part 162, Part 163, Part 164,Part 165, Part 166, Part 167, Part 168, Part 169, Part 170,Part 171,Part 172, Part 173, Part 174, Part 175, Part 176,Part 177, Part 178, Part 179 , Part 180, Part 181, Part 182, Part 183, Part 184, Part 185, Part 186, Part 187, Part 188, Part 189, Part 190, Part 191, Part 192, Part 193, Part 194

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ayoitsnic · 3 years

Text

Crowley x Reader x Lucifer

Part 1

*Based loosely around 12x15 but Ramsey kills Gwen and gets away

Word Count: 2.6k

Trigger Warnings: Injured animal? Idk? If you think something should be added to the TW list drop a comment or DM me

Summary: Humans aren’t supposed to see hellhounds, so what happens when y/n finds an injured hellhound and brings it home to care for?

*Disclaimer* Lucifer will be introduced in the 2nd part which should be up by Saturday 4/3/2021

It was almost midnight when y/n got off of work. She was exhausted after her shift at Regional West Medical Center in Nebraska. As she trudged through the parking lot to her old, beat up 2002 Suzuki she couldn’t help but feel eyes on her, like something was watching her from out in the darkness. Fumbling with her keys she turned to unlock the driver’s side car door (The remote to unlock the door was broken. The car could only be opened with the actual key.), only to freeze in place when she felt the hot breath and heard the heavy breathing of some sort of animal behind her. “Dear god, please let it be my overactive imagination.” she prayed silently, knowing it was no use. Whatever stood behind her was very much real.

Very slowly she turned to face whatever it was that was sniffing her, her keys moving between her middle and ring finger in case she needed to defend herself. Instead of being met with what she thought for sure would be a small bear or a rabid coyote, she was met with a very large dog. A very large dog that looked like it had been through absolute hell. Its fur was matted and caked with dried mud and dirt, and it was covered with cuts and what she naturally assumed was its own blood. It was hard to tell through the thick, matted fur but it also looked very underweight. “Oh you poor baby….” Y/n’s heart melted upon seeing the creature.

Obviously the dog had been out on its own for a very long time. Y/N took pity on it. It seemed so sad, and it didn’t appear rabid or vicious. It looked like it just wanted help. Reluctantly she reached down to check for a collar. There was a collar but it was in a foreign language. One she’d never seen before. Unlocking the back of the car she coaxed the dog in with some leftover food she had from her lunch break. She knew the poor thing must be starving. Being hurt it took a little help getting in. Little did she know how dangerous that dog really was or that there was a man out right now searching for it.

The K-9, which y/n decided to call (Dog’s name) had fallen asleep on the car ride home, snoring softly over the radio that was playing some Green Day song. Pulling into the driveway, (Y/N) stopped the car and turned off the radio. Almost on queue (dog’s name) looked up to see where they were. A light was on outside, illuminating a large porch (Which could probably use a new paint job, if we’re being honest) with 2 rocking chairs, a small table and a plethora of healthy, brightly colored plants. She picked up the injured dog and carried it inside, planning on taking it to the vet in the morning to see if it was microchipped.

She was going to let the dog sleep in the basement for the night, unsure if it would destroy the house or not. She remembered her aunt’s German Shepherd who took pleasure in tearing up sofas, and eating her plants. The dog also really needed a bath and she didn’t want it on the furniture until it got one. Unfortunately around 3:30 am, y/n felt a dip in the bed and then something making itself comfy by her feet. Looking over, she found the dog curled up in bed with her. Way too tired to deal with it now, and knowing she had to wash the sheets anyway she just fell back asleep let the dog stay with her so long as it stayed at the foot of the bed.

The next morning, Y/N got up early to go to the pet store and get stuff for the dog. She called up the local vet, making an appointment, she washed the sheets, and most importantly she began trying to wash (Dog’s name). At first the dog resisted, wanting absolutely nothing to do with the water. Y/N knew exactly how to deal with this though. Placing a glob of peanut butter on the side of the tub to keep the dog preoccupied, (Dog’s name) happily entered the bathtub. A trick y/n had learned from that aunt with the poorly behaved German Shepherd. By the time y/n was done with the dog she’d had to drain and refill the tub 3 times before she gave up and kept it drained, just using the shower head. She couldn’t believe how much blood and dirt had come off this dog.

Around 2pm the doorbell rang and this dog who was once so sweet, albeit a bit skittish turned into an absolute beast. Running to the door, loud deep barks and growls left it. The dog seemed ready to tear the stranger on the other side of the door to shreds. It was almost like it had turned into a completely different dog. “(Dog’s name)!!!” Y/n shouted as she raced down the stairs after it, hoping to get to the door before the dog did. “NO!!!” She yelled. Even hurt and underweight, (Dog’s name) was really big. If it wanted to break that door, it probably could. Without thinking, Y/n quickly grabbed the dog by the collar to stop it. “I said no!” She told her firmly with a pointed finger. The dog whined, tail between its legs as it hurried back up the stairs to the bedroom to do that thing dogs do when they roll around on the rug to dry themselves.

The front door had a glass window looking out so y/n could see the stranger. He was short, and wore a nice suit. He seemed only slightly concerned about the interaction. The man didn’t even flinch as the massive hound lunged itself at him. It seemed like this was a normal day for him. Actually, he seemed more unnerved after she called the dog off. Opening the door, y/n apologized profusely for the dog “I am so sorry about the dog! I-” Before she could continue, the man squinted at her, clearly confused about something. “What are you?” He questioned in an English accent.

“Hellhounds? Really?” She questioned with a quirked eyebrow and a small grin, crossing her arms and constantly turning to keep facing the man. It was obvious she didn’t believe him.

Obviously his question confused y/n as she gave him a look of confusion back “What do you mean ’what are you?’” She stepped out onto the porch, closing the door behind her “I'm human”

“Yes, really.” The man continued, as serious as a heart attack “You especially shouldn’t be able to control that bitch. I’ve only ever known one person to be able to control Ramsey and you and not that person.”

“Oh really? And who might that person be then?” Y/n asked, beginning to think this was some elaborate prank being played on her by a friend or coworker.

Remembering what the demon said about her being able to control the hound, y/n gave it a shot. Raising a hand she firmly commanded “Ramsey stay.” Not only did the dog stop dead in her tracks, she laid down and waited for further orders. Now most people would be a little freaked out by this; finding a hellhound that they didn't know was a hellhound, and now being visited by a demon sent to collect said hound. Y/n however wasn’t afraid. Actually she kind of got a Déjà vu feeling at this.

“No you can’t be. Humans can’t see hellhounds, much less control them.” Normally Crowley would just collect the demonic hound and leave, with humans being none the wiser that the rogue canine was even there, but not only did this woman know the hellhound was there, she was taking pretty good care of it. Even stranger, the dog was letting her care for it. There was something different about this woman, something special. He just wasn’t sure what it was yet. Crowley circled y/n, inspecting her. He was trying to find any indication of her not being human.

“Lucifer.” Crowley responded

At that, y/n was done. “Look pal, I don’t know what kind of kool-aid you’re drinking but I’m not buying it. Now’s the part where I tell you to get off my property.” she turned to go back inside, closing and locking the door behind her. As she turned to head upstairs though, Crowley was standing right behind her, his eyes red. She let out a screech, jumping as far back as she could (Which wasn’t far as the door was right behind her). Again, the dog that the demon in front of her called ‘Ramsey’ came running to her defense.

“The name’s Crowley. King of hell.” He introduced himself “May I ask who you are?”

“Y/n y/l/n.” she responded before telling him “Queen of this house.” This was crazy. Y/n was standing in her entryway conversing with a demon king. “Could I offer you tea ‘your highness’? Maybe Coffee?" she asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm as she addressed Crowley as 'your highness' She wasn’t gonna hand over the dog so easily, and something told her the demon wouldn’t be leaving without Ramsey.

“.....Who are you?” Y/n asked the man

Y/n and Crowley sat in her kitchen, sipping tea and chatting. “Why aren’t you afraid of me?” The demon who sat across from y/n questioned “Most people would run, or beg for mercy if a demon showed up at their doorstep. Not invite them in for a drink.”

If it weren’t for the fact that y/n could sick Cujo on him at any moment, Crowley wouldn’t be being so patient with her. He wouldn’t be trying to convince her to send the dog to her death. “I’m sorry but I can’t let you take that dog back.” Y/n told Crowley. For some reason she felt bonded to that dog, with the overwhelming need to protect her.

“I’m afraid I must insist. She’s dangerous and unpredictable. It’s for the best that she be put down. She’s killed a lot of people who weren’t on hell’s hit list while she was topside.” Crowley explained “A pup like that out and about isn't good for business. It makes it look like I’m not in control.”

“Do you want me to beg for mercy?” Y/n asked with a smirk and a small, dry chuckle. “Sorry but you’re not very scary so forgive me if I’m quaking in my shoes.” She would never be seen begging for mercy. Not in a million years.

“I thought you were the king down there.” Y/n questioned “A king answers to no one. You could turn, walk right out that front door, and pretend she vanished. That you weren't able to find her. Or you could go back and tell your people she attacked you and you killed her. Besides, you’re a demon. You don’t really care about the people she’s killed, do you?” Y/n definitely cared and felt bad, she just didn’t believe Crowley did.

“The Winchester’s. They hunt monsters. Vampire’s, werewolves, demonkind, et cetera.” Crowley explained “They’re ruthless, and if they find out that dog is here they will show up and kill her. Painfully. If you hand her over I promise her death will be a painless and merciful one.” Of course he would make the boys sound worse than they were. In reality they’d kill it as quick as possible if they could. He’d say anything to get her to give up Ramsey.

“Of course I don’t, but some hunters I know care a lot about the people that were killed. If I don’t collect this dog, they’ll come and collect her for me and they’ll be far less inclined to sit and chat over hot beverages.” Crowley explained

“Tell me about these hunters.” Y/n asked, genuinely interested. "I assume you're not referring to people who shoot buck in their free time."

“Let them come.” Y/n spoke after quietly mulling over what was just told to her. Whether she was underestimating these hunters or just didn’t believe what Crowley was telling her he was unsure. “She may be in a weakened state now but she’ll get better. She’ll get stronger and when she does I’ll be the only one who can stop her. If they show up, I’ll be ready and they’ll have to go through me. When they get through me, she’ll be ready for them too.”

“Y/n I know you think-” Y/n cut off the demon king, her patience wearing thin. She had all the leverage she needed in this situation and she knew it “You said I was the only one who could control her. Now I don’t know how or why that is, but that means there’s nothing stopping me from sicking the dog on you. If she really is as vicious and dangerous as you claim she is, I would be afraid of the one person who can send her after you. I’m telling you to walk away. I’m giving you an out. I strongly suggest you take it.”

Thinking about it later though, she was actually kind of sexy. She knew she held the power and the leverage in that situation and she knew how to use it. Not only that but she was bold enough to try and intimidate not just any king, but the King of Hell. And she didn’t need to raise her voice once while doing it. She was clearly a strong, intelligent, woman. He liked that.

After he was gone, y/n was in fact a little freaked out. If there was a hell that meant there was a heaven. Would she be going to hell just for harboring this animal? And better question; how do you even properly care for a hellhound? She imagined it would be a lot different from taking care of your average, run of the mill Pitbull.

Crowley stood his ground, calling her bluff. He didn’t believe she would actually do it. “Ramsey!” Y/n called “Ramsey c’mere girl!” she whistled as the Hellhound came barreling from upstairs “Ramsey, hurry up! Go get him! Get the demon!” Y/n told Ramsey in the same sickeningly sweet baby voice most humans use to talk to animals they find cute. Before she could get to him though, Crowley had disappeared into thin air.

After hours spent searching on the internet y/n got her first lead. Okay so it wasn’t really a lead. It was more of an idea. It’s not like she could just log onto wikipedia and pull up a page on 'How to take care of a Hellhound'. She did however find instructions for summoning and trapping a crossroads demon. She didn’t realize there were different types of demons but to her, a crossroads demon was still a demon so good enough right?

Late that night y/n put Ramsey in the car with her and drove to the nearest crossroads. Spray painting a ‘devils trap’ in the road she buried a box in the center. It contained a photo of her, some graveyard dirt, and the bone of a black cat. No, she didn’t go out and kill a cat. She was able to get that from a wiccan shop on the outskirts of town.

After burying the box, she stood and read the incantation she had written on a scrap of paper “Daemon, esto subjecto voluntati meae!” She waited a moment and when nothing happened she thought she might've gotten a word wrong. That was until she heard a woman speak behind her “What can I do for you tonight?”

Jumping a bit she turned to face the demon. “I just need some information.”

.....To be continued....

#Crowley #Crowley x Reader #Lucifer #Lucifer x Reader #Supernatural #x reader #Female reader

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reallybadfeeling · 3 years

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My Obikin Playlist Masterpost Part 2

Not that anybody was really waiting for this, but here is the second part of the playlist with an explanation for each song. If you are interested in reading my rant on the first 20 songs, you can check the post I made last week HERE.

Without further ado, I'll leave you to my rant for songs 21 to 40.

☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧ ☙ ✤ ❧

❧ One in a Million - Midnight to Monaco

Tears fall like acid rain and it burns me through the skin It's taken everything from me, I've lost my innocence The bats brings the night today, watch them turn the sky to black Like a gun that fires that sound again Frightens me until the bitter end I can't keep holding on And I hide away I need it to keep me from breaking down And I'm under Baby I can't carry on, dead and I've been buried on Baby, I was one in a million Even if our love was strong, take me down and let it fall Baby, I was one in a million And I was holding, burning, waking, turning Tasting blood and losing time I want to get a hold of myself Baby, I was one in a million [...] And I need it to keep me from thinking I won't find my wings no more

This entire song is about how someone's life gets absolutely destroyed by drug abuse. Or at least, that's how I always interpreted this. But drug abuse always makes me think about any kind of obsessions doing exactly the same thing. So I love this song for Anakin in particular. That "I was one in a million" giving me this "Chosen One" vibe. Like he got lost on the way to what he was supposed to be, and now that he's fallen he has no clue how to get back to what he was supposed to be, that one in a million.

❣🅞🅑🅘🅚🅘🅝❣

❧ Losing My Religion - R.E.M.

The lengths that I will go to The distance in your eyes Oh no, I've said too much I set it up That's me in the corner That's me in the spotlight Losing my religion Trying to keep up with you And I don't know if I can do it Oh no, I've said too much I haven't said enough [...] Every whisper, of every waking hour I'm choosing my confessions Trying to keep an eye on you Like a hurt, lost and blinded fool, fool [...] Consider this the hint of the century Consider this the slip That brought me to my knees, failed

Another classic song that is in basically any ships' playlist. And it fits so much with unrequited love (or pining in general). How can I not think of Obi-Wan trying desperately to be a good Jedi while he's well aware of his feelings for Anakin?

❣🅞🅑🅘🅚🅘🅝❣

❧ Hurt Me - Lapsley

Can't look at you the same way, anticipatin' heartbreak And I know, and I know, and I know I'm puttin' on a brave face to meet you in the same place And I know, and I know, and I know Gotta let my mind find another space 'Cause I heard these scars never go away And now I'm runnin' out of ways to numb the pain So if you're gonna hurt Why don't you hurt me a little bit more? Just dig a little deeper Push a little harder than before [...] Like breathing underwater, what's the law and order? I don't know, I don't know, I don't know You're sitting in a corner, hiding til it's over And it shows, and it shows, and it shows Buildin' up my walls just to tear them down Tell me that it's love, force me to drown Buildin' up my walls just to tear them down Tell me that it's love And I thought you said you still loved me [...] And I'm counting down the seconds that we have I can see the end in sight, at last So if you're gonna hurt me Why don't you hurt me a little bit more?

This entire song makes me think of one of those situations where both of them are pining and convinced that the other is about to tell them something that would end up breaking their heart. Basically first half is Obi-Wan knowing from the start that they won't work, maybe because he thinks Anakin is in love with Padmé and that's what Anakin wants to talk about; second half is Anakin, sure that Obi-Wan would deny having feelings for him because of how much he loves being a Jedi so he tries to be a better Jedi for the sake of Obi-Wan. Because I love the trope of both of them being too oblivious to realize they are in love.

❣🅞🅑🅘🅚🅘🅝❣

❧ The Shelter of My Love - Astropol

When you have nothing to lose No one dear and no one to care for Non one sees you but I do I'll take you in I won't let you go Oh the middle of the night Black as tar and eager to hold you Just as pretty as my love Just as hungry Just as eternal [...] When you have no bridge to burn No place to go, no place to return to No one loves you like I do I love you [...] When you have nothing to lose And nightfall comes, eager to hold you No one loves you like I do I love you I love you, I love you Oh shelter of my faith All the peril, all the weight Mighty glorious The shelter of my faith Oh shelter of my trust All the longing, all the lust God will help you if you lost the shelter of my trust

I'm perfectly aware that this is a song about faith. It's basically like a call to pray because even when you are lost the one person that will always be there for you is God. BUT, this actually works pretty well for the Jedi Order too. And if we think of how Anakin joined the Jedi, how he felt like the only thing he would lose is his mother, it kinda makes sense with these lyrics. And even Obi-Wan: he was given to the Jedi when he was so young that that's the only life he knows. At the same time, it can be about Anakin and Obi-Wan finding that solace in each other too, because sure, the entire Order is there to support them. But it's almost like it's their last option to them, because when in need the first person they go to is the other.

❣🅞🅑🅘🅚🅘🅝❣

❧ The Night We Met - Lord Huron

I am not the only traveler Who has not repaid his debt I've been searching for a trail to follow again Take me back to the night we met And then I can tell myself What the hell I'm supposed to do And then I can tell myself Not to ride along with you I had all and then most of you Some and now none of you Take me back to the night we met I don't know what I'm supposed to do Haunted by the ghost of you Oh, take me back to the night we met When the night was full of terrors And your eyes were filled with tears When you had not touched me yet Oh, take me back to the night we met

You should know me by now. If a song that is basically perfect for Obi-Wan post RotS, I'm gonna find it. And this one is just PERFECT! Like, Obi-Wan absolutely feels like he owes something to the universe because he is the one who failed Anakin, who allowed him to fall. So I imagine him wanting a do-over, a chance to stay away from Anakin so that Anakin can be better and his own heart can't be broken in such a terrible way. Basically, this is also perfect for a time traveler Obi-Wan trying to fix things from day 1.

❣🅞🅑🅘🅚🅘🅝❣

❧ Danger - JKAY feat Shola Ama

I'm a million reasons in And I'm going out on a limb But I can't, no I can't deny Cause I, I fell in love with danger And I think I found a stranger in you The boy that I knew, left me torn into two And I don't know what to do

Nothing fancy about this one, just Obi-Wan realizing there is a wild side to the cute, totally unable to flirt young teenager he took care of for so long. Basically something to write smut on. You all know you need these kind of songs too. (And I picked the acoustic version because it gives me more soft love-making vibes, but the original one is perfect for a more passionate kind of mood).

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❧ Amandoti - Giovanni Lindo Ferretti

Loving you makes me weary, guts my insides (It’s) Something that feels like laughing in tears Loving you makes me weary, it makes me sorrowful What can you do (about it), that’s life That’s life, my (life) [...] Loving you comforts my sleepless nights It’s something that replaces old dead flames Loving you comforts me, it gives me joy What can you do (about it), that’s life But (that) life is my life Love me once more, do it softly One year, one month, one hour (Do it) Hopelessly Love me once more, do it softly Just for an hour But let it be forever

I was forced to put the live version from the original composer in the playlist, but a couple of weeks ago I posted a link to Maneskin's cover of this song (which, isn't on Spotify). You can check it out HERE, with a full translation of the lyrics (yes, Italian songs will always be a thing for this playlist, get over it). Like I said in the tags of that post, this is just another one of those songs that give me post RotS Obi-Wan feels. Just him all alone and heartbroken wishing he could feel Anakin's love just once more. Simply perfection.

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❧ Lemon Eyes - Meg Myers

Hush now baby, there's no need to cry Let me wipe away those lemon eyes All your worries, such a waste of time You can't even see how much you're mine You're so bitter, bitter, bitter, yellow Settle, settle, got to settle down, okay Listen, listen, you listen, yellow It's a killer, a killer, a killer jealousy Lemon eyes, you're mine Yellow eyes, all mine I bet you wanna walk away, run away, look away, turn away Honey you can't hide Lemon eyes, all mine

Do I even have to explain this? It's basically perfect for all of Anakin's issues with jealousy, but with what yellow eyes mean in this fandom it could absolutely be about Sith!Anakin. It's just such a fitting song for these two, with Obi-Wan trying to reason with a very unreasonable Anakin... (And I might have anonymously suggested to someone to listen to it as a good song for their fic. *coff coff* @tennessoui *coff coff*)

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❧ 10 Years - Daði Freyr

We've been together for a decade now Still everyday I'm lovin' you more If I could do it all again I'd probably do it all the same as before I don't wanna know what would've happened If I never had had your love I didn't became myself before I met you I don't wanna know what would've happened If I never had felt you love Everything about you, I like We started out so fast Now we can take it slower Love takes some time Takes a little time, so take a litte time As it ages like wine [...] And just when I thought that my heart was full I found place that I never explored You're so fascinating And I can't remember the last time I was bored [...] How does it keep getting better? Everyday our love finds a new way to grow The time we spend together Simply feels good We got a good thing going

How could I not put this song in this playlist? Like, it can literally be about how in the many years together, their love for each other grew and grew, and changed to get better with time. But it can also be just Anakin and Obi-Wan in an established relationship, since this is technically a song about a ten years anniversary. I just LOVE IT. It's super sweet and we all need fluff sometimes.

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❧ Different Kind Of Love - Kid Runner

It was always you there Dancing towards me Grabbing both my hands like Here we go, here we go again Maybe it was destiny We were so familiar But you caught me staring And I don't know, I don't know, I guess [...] And when you're near me I can't help but be under your spell Can I make you believe you're the only one I need? [...] It must've been something A switch in my brain It kept me in motion It drove me insane It must've been something Something you said You're pulling me under Holding me close Inside my head Oh, it's a different kind of love And when I see your face I know, I know You got me going Oh, and this could be enough I'm dreaming wide awake I know, I know

Classic friends to lovers AU song that works wonders with Anakin's kind of love, all obsessive and stuff. Definitely can picture teen Anakin pining over Obi-Wan to the tune of this, all awkward boners at absolutely inappropriate times and Obi-Wan never truly pointing it out, because he doesn't want to make Anakin even more uncomfortable.

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❧ Ruthless - GIRLI

Home? What's that? I got a doll's house with a few cracks Grew too tall, now I'm poking out the attic My feet are in the basement 'cause I never wanna hack it Life, what's that? Life, what's that? [...] Take my soul, Take me down Take me back to the beginning of this when I was still innocent Me, sorry who? I'm a kid in a grown-up suit Looking in the mirror tryna figure out who's Banging on the glass 'cause they're tryna break through Is it me? Is it you? Think it's me, wish I knew Take me, use me, screw me over Play me like I like losing Trip me, trick me, drug me Say you love me but you like cheating You're the only one to blame You made me this way Guess that's why I'm so damn Ruthless You made me, you made me You made me ruthless You made me, you made me You made me ruthless Only way to do it When you break me and I lose it Oh, you made me You made me so damn fucking ruthless [...] Yeah it's tragic All the bad bits Made me so damn ruthless No, it's not me I don't wanna be Ruthless

Being a woman, I know perfectly that this song is about how sometimes women have to grow up to be mean because of all of the abuse they go throw in their life. But I kind of see Anakin as this person that would absolutely blame everyone else for his fall to the Dark Side and this works so well! Like, the doll house is a metaphor for how the Jedi Order was supposed to be his home, but in the end he felt like he was used, like the Jedi told him they loved him just to trick him into doing whatever they wanted, basically cheating him of a simpler life with his mom. And even the looking in the mirror thing could be when he's already in the Vader suit and he doesn't know if Vader is what he was supposed to be all along or somewhere inside him there's this young innocent child trying to get out. What can I say, most of the times I have Obi-Wan feelings. But every once in a while I find something twisted enough to give me Anakin/Vader feelings too.

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❧ All or Nothing - Wild Youth

I remember when we were younger We used to stay up late We used to watch the sun go down, the sun go down Yeah at night I, I think about ya How I spent so long living without ya You're all I need, the air I breathe So hold tight, I'm coming 'Cause it's all or nothing I'm a million miles away and I feel so low I've been driving all night just to get back home to you To you See the sunrise, it's a classi break Driving down roads that I used to take with you With you Every streetlight, new horizon Start to wonder if you realise Oh, we were vain, was more than friends So hold tight, I'm coming 'Cause it's all or nothing

Okay, this is kind of perfect for a very specific kind of AU. Like, the "they used to be childhood friends, then got separated by life, but they were always meant for each other, so after meeting once by chance after years separated, they can't go back to their life, they have to stay with the other" kind of specific AU. The song might work with how the Clone Wars kept them separate too, but... yeah. It's kinda specific. Sorry not sorry.

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❧ Someone Like You - Noah Kahan feat. Joy Oladokun

Guess I'm a mess now Lost with my head down I haven't heard from you in weeks You must have left town I can't go back now And all that I have now Are those feelings I felt Knowing that no one else can bring them back out And I've been trying to find a silver lining But I can't But I can't Now that I can't hold you I wish that I had tried to Do more not to lose you Now that I can't find you Because the second you left, yeah the voice in my head screamed "What did I do?" Now you're gone and all I want is someone like you

Once again, ignoring that this is a song about a couple breaking up after one of the two cheated because this is also perfect for Anakin confessing his love for Obi-Wan as soon as he's a Knight. He was sure that would make Obi-Wan accept his love and try to get in a relationship, instead Obi-Wan panicked and asked to get sent as far away from Anakin as he could. So of course Anakin is filled with regret about his confession.

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❧ Big Boy - Charlotte Cardin

Maybe if I spell it out Big boy will take me on proper You nailed my heart to your wall You never dusted off after [...] Maybe if I'm a broken wing Big boy in my nest You nailed my heart to your wall And disposed of the rest of me With your push and shove Like what's love ain't love But it's love to me My boy is not a man yet My boy is not a man yet But boy do I love it when you kiss my neck Oh boy last night was perfect You're changing my mind Like what's mine ain't mine Be mine to be Maybe if we try again Big boy we could have it my way You nailed my heart to your wall But it was damaged anyways

Another song to write smut to, but smut with feels. Mainly Obi-Wan's, that maybe feels like Anakin played with him just so that they could sleep together, but never actually tried to put a pin on what their relationship is supposed to be after. And Obi-Wan realizes that part of the reason is that Anakin is still so young and maybe he's the one that made a mistake. Like, he's not even sure that what he feels is real, but he still keeps following what Anakin wants because what is the alternative after all?

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❧ Home with You - Marie Dahlstrom

Happy to be home with you Happy to wake up with you Even after all that you've benne through Happy that you feel the same Hope that I can ease the pain Happy to come by 'Cause you just give me life And I love spending time with you It's easy when I want you like that I don't regret it even if you might think That I've got Plenty other reasons in my head Plenty other questions still unsaid Nobody knows where you'll go but I'm here [...] I don't understand it all Still I will accept your flaws Just the way that you're accepting mine No, I'm not really one to judge We can laugh it off because It's just one life for you and I and I know [...] Feels so good when it's You by my side I could just stay all night I could just stay all night I love the things you do Nobody knows where we'll go but I'm here Baby, whenever you need me Baby come over, baby come over Whenever you need I will always be by your side

This song can honestly fit multiple things. It can absolutely be Obi-Wan accepting that Anakin reaches out for him only in certain situations and him always being open to it, no matter how their relationship isn't really the traditional kind of relationship (like, a friends with benefits kind of deal). But it can also be Obi-Wan and Anakin getting together when Anakin is already Vader, so Obi-Wan is slowly falling to the Dark Side too. You can also just use this as another song to write soft love making too since it's so slow and soft. Or just do whatever you want with it.

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❧ Hands Tied - Beatrich

You got me home sick for your arms The arms that keep me close But you just slip though my fingers Like I'm tryna catch a ghost I'd travel to the moon and back For you and all that you could say is That you didn't ask for that You'd never ask I'd travel to the moon and back For you and all that you could say is That you didn't ask for that You'd never And you stand there Looking at me with my hands tied And how foolish Foolish of me to let this one slide I'm terrified The roots are way too deep And there is no way out You just stand there Looking at me with my hands tied

Huge vibes of Anakin being mad in love with Obi-Wan, and Obi-Wan pushing him away because he sees Anakin as a brother, not as a lover. And there's all kind of pining from Anakin because of the unrequited love and he tries to do crazy stuff for Obi-Wan hoping he will fall in love with him but it fails... Yeah, that's the angst that hurts in the best way! (But, you know, can totally be reversed to Obi-Wan in love with Anakin in a canon scenario with Anakin married to Padmé.)

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❧ Same Bed - Lola Young

I'm too quick to judge, too fast to fuck If we're lonely and I'm No good in love, 'cause the last time I ended up a little dead inside Sorry I lied, I do not want you, no Sorry my pride's a little too high To let you know I cried when you said you had to go, baby [...] (whispered) Fuck then, don't do this to me now Don't say my name when you're talking to me Don't say we're on the same page Don't look away when you walk into me I like the pain, I like the pain I'm making it hard for you to move on And be lonely 'cause I'm So good with words that the last time I broke his heart [...] I got a bit drunk yesterday evening and I Told you some things I didn't mean, oh did I? Hate it, I hate it when I get complacent I love it when you pull that face and we make mistakes Utterly wasted And wake up in the same bed In the same t-shirt I told you I loved you in The same regrets Like wearing the t-shirt I told you I love you in [...] I only like you when you're naked At least, that's what I proved to myself Can't make a fool of myself, baby God, it's so frustrating, making such a fool of myself Gotta make do with myself, baby I only like you when you're naked At least, that's what I proved to myself You make a fool of myself, baby Let's overcomplicate it, maybe just lose ourselves

Back with the complicated relationship and the angst. Can see this in a canon compliant AU with both Anakin and Obi-Wan not really wanting to admit they are in love with each other, but somehow they always end up sleeping together, and telling the other how much they love them just to regret all of it the day after. Basically making things complicated for no reason other than Obi-Wan not wanting to break the rules/his belief that he's meant for infinite sadness, but also because Anakin can't give up on this twisted love despite how much it hurts him and being petty in trying to make Obi-Wan suffer just as much.

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❧ Ghost - Harper

Not putting lyrics here because this entire song gives me Obi-Wan on Tatooine post-RotS vibes. Like, he's literally on the planet Anakin came from, there to protect Anakin's kids. OF COURSE he sees Anakin's "ghost". Like, he sees so much of Anakin in Luke when he grows up. And it feels kind of fitting as a punishment for Obi-Wan to be slowly going crazy because he keeps being haunted by this image of Anakin around him. Literally this line: "why you gotta make me weak to make me stronger". That's Obi-Wan trying to get over this love for Anakin and realizing that he has to mourn and suffer before he becomes stronger and able to get free from this ghost's hold. (But, you know, Anakin's ghost might even be actually Anakin, in a scenario where Anakin is actually trapped inside of Vader and trying to get free by reaching out to Obi-Wan for help.)

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❧ Qualcosa di Grande - Cesare Cremonini

What happened, you changed You are not the same Or are you still the one That grew up with me What happened, you ran away And with you so did my life I searched for it, I searched for it But I found it only in you There's something important between us That you can never change Not even if you want to But there's something important between us That you can never forget Not even if you want to What happened, you fell You fell too low and now you try to climb back up But it's a struggle you don't want [...] What happened, your light Your light is obscured By someone that I know And that took you away from me What happened, your star Your star eclipsed And now (I dare you to) shine from the darkness without me

Yet another song that gives me RotS feels. It's obviously a break up song, a song about regrets and struggling to move on. So of course in it I see Anakin falling to the Dark Side and Obi-Wan trying to remind him of what is between the two of them so that Anakin comes back to him. (If you want to read the complete translation, you can check it out here.)

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❧ Dark Side - Phoebe Ryan

At your worst, you're the best Baby I don't want another version, no Hard to love, hard to trust But don't change Don't be a better person for me 'Cuz I'm in love with your dark side I'm in love with your dark side So don't turn on the light [...] Even if it hurts, I want you heart Even at your worst, I love you hard If you wanna keep me, go too far

Another song that is more of a both!Sith AU but also something Vaderwan would work honestly. I like the twisted nature of this kind of love so much in fics. Can absolutely works with any version of Anakin or/and Obi-Wan being the bad guy in the story.

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All done! All 20 new songs I added to the original playlist explained away. Like last time, I hope you find any of this entertaining or useful. If any of this inspires your creativity, don't be shy and tag me on your stuff. I'll gladly read it/watch it/enjoy it.

#obikin #obikin playlist #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #if you use any of these please tag me #i wanna see all of the content!#feel free to suggest songs if you want #i'm always happy to listen to something new #and my ask box is always open #i'm getting more and more specific because i think every au needs its own song #so yeah #there are a bunch of songs that work for specific AUs #but i'm sure out there a writer is waiting for that specific song to get out of a writer's block while writing their fic #and i wanna help them finish their fics!#also my brain sees obikin everywhere so of course i have to make you part of this disease of mine #i'll probably post part 3 next week because I have more songs to add to this playlist #finger crossed that my migraine decides to chill for a while so i can write the next post #Spotify

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swtorramblings · 3 years

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Name: Richerd Class: Jedi Sage (formerly Seer, currently Telekinetics) Server: Star Forge Legacy: Ordannes

This one’s longer than usual, so it gets a cut.

Game role (my canon story for him): Former Alliance Commander, retired from that role after the events of Knights of the Eternal Throne and the second invasion of Odessen. While he understood that her history and her own choices may have doomed her no matter what he did, he never forgave himself for killing Vaylin. Not after listening so long to the monster that had made her what she was, not after using the techniques of that monster to control and humiliate her of his own free will. How had he expected her to react to that?

Was it his will? He is not truly sure. But, in that case, didn’t it mean he was too weak?

He may have been able to accept that. However sorry he felt for her, how many had she killed? How many more would she kill if allowed to continue? But then, with her death, with the urging of Valkorion and no attempt to take her alive, the Eternal Fleet went berserk, killing untold thousands, possibly millions. The final tally has still not been made.

And he was complicit in that horror, by provoking the Empress to bring her close in order to kill her, all according to Valkorion’s plans. It is what finally broke him.

He could not release his attachment. He could no longer be a Jedi, or the leader of the Alliance. He took the Throne, he freed Vaylin’s spirit at last, and together, he and Valkorion’s own family finally destroyed him. Having done what he could, he put down his lightsaber and rejected the Force. The Alliance he left in the hands of his advisers, who were always in charge anyway.

His sole order to the Fleet was to return to Iokath, to guard the riches and weapons he knew could be found there. He also hoped that, just perhaps, SCORPIO could return their free will once again.

After that, he lived in the Odessen wilderness for several years, wanting only to be left alone. Nothing bothered him, not predators, not people. His only contact was Lana Beniko, who insisted on bringing him supplies that she felt he would need and couldn’t acquire himself.

She had always cared for him, even when he did things that infuriated her Sith sensibilities, but perhaps there was more to it. Perhaps she blamed herself for putting a healer in charge of an army.

He kept a small farm there, and was reasonably content. Lana eventually stopped visiting. He was as safe as possible, she was busy, and she couldn’t stand seeing him give up any longer.

Eventually, though, things changed. It was not Lana that visited him that time, but his former Padawan, Nadia Grell. The Eternal Fleet was destroyed, the Alliance in tatters, Iokath was being fought over by fools. Beniko and Satele Shan had vanished. The best hope for the survival of the Jedi Order had been found by its enemies, which is what had brought Nadia to ask for the Alliance’s help, only to find they were in no condition to.

As he opened his mind again to the universe, he realized that, yes, he had made mistakes, he had been afraid, perhaps weak. He had taken the easy way and paid a steep price. That isolating himself had been one of those easy choices. How much of this would have changed if he’d stayed? He could never know.

But he is done shirking his responsibilities. He has let go of his guilt, but not the lessons. He cleared the cobwebs from his lightsaber, and the crystal sang in his mind again, a joyful song. With that, he and Nadia have returned to the eternal war.

May the Force be with them.

Stories I Shall Save Myself (2nd Draft): As in the canon story, again the Alliance Commander, but when he finally attempted to kill the Eternal Empress, she turned the tables and inflicted the very injury he had meant for her. Everything changes from that moment onward, including the fate of Senya and her two remaining children. The plan is for him to step down in that story, as well, but I’ve never gotten that chapter to work.

Bonds: The story where James Buchanan Barnes visits the Old Republic during KotFE/KotET, preventing the use of the command phrase on Vaylin and then guiding her to do certain things differently. Richerd is the Alliance Commander again, though in this story it is made very plain that he and much of the Alliance is being influenced by Vitiate lurking in his mind. He is likely to remain in that position after the Avengers arrive to help the Alliance take down Vitiate once and for all…

Relationships Richerd and Nadia were never a couple. He was her teacher, she was recovering from the murder of her father and her own barely controlled powers. Neither ever considered it. (Note: Yes, way back then I just went along with it, but I feel dirty now for having done so and I don’t want to go through the pain of the Lana breakup again if I can avoid it, anyway. I go through some effort now to make all the apprentice romance stories less awful, which, seriously, ALL FOUR Force sensitive classes?! And only the female characters? Ugh.)

His first official romance was with Lana, though it’s more than a bit rocky. Make no mistake, it doesn’t make sense to either of them, but war and trauma can make for strange relationships. Is it healthy? Neither of them are sure of that, either, but they are trying.

Felix is his best friend, and if Jarak weren’t already dead, he might have taken some time to hunt him down. He’s not entirely sure what would have happened.

Random Character Notes

He lost his healing powers soon after taking command of the Alliance. They just didn’t fit his new role, so his powers slowly shifted. He wishes he hadn’t changed so much, and is now trying to return to what he was in his connection to the Force. The galaxy doesn’t need more warriors, it needs healers.. (This is literally true, I changed him from Seer to Telekinetics either during the early stages of KotET or the later stages of SOR)

Random Other Notes This was my first character in SWTOR, way, way back when. And, yes, his specific story is informed by my feelings at the time when I played through those two expansions. I played him very little during the years since, pulling him out to get a few more tokens for the slots and things like that. Part of the point of the above longer-than-usual story is to explain his absence as I try to play him a bit more. For a while, every time I heard the male Consular voice, I kept hearing the smug, “Do your people know your… weakness?” It really left me turned off playing him.

I’d try to start his story off during happier times, but it’s been almost a decade since I played him through the class story, and the Knights stories are the ones that left their indelible imprint on me, so we start there.

He’s mostly based on an old Champions character, Richard Powers, the Sorcerer. I suppose he could have been Sith, but other than the name, he made more sense as a Jedi.

He’s also the closest I’ve ever made to a player insert, though it wasn’t really my intent at the start. He’s fitter and generally just better than me, sure, but I tried to make as much as a three choice system allowed the choices I approved most of, whether DS or LS or nothing. Not the ones I think I would actually make, since I’m not that good, but the ones I thought were right. I think that the fact that I couldn’t find any choices by the end of KotET contributed to whatever that was, along with the real life stuff I’ve alluded to before. I didn’t care for it.

Doing better now and would like to get him at least to Echoes of Oblivion, for reasons. My brain will keep chewing on this a little at a time until then, I think. Might also change him back to healing after that.

#Richerd (OC)#And yes I mention Vaylin heavily #Sue me.#Had to do this one next to help me answer one of my asks #Vaylin #Marked it with Vaylin because she was most of why I wrote this one

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