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#covid and we know what its like and what it does and we know this wave will pass eventually. this is happening at the end of my time here no
comradecowplant · 3 months
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so things are not going well with my new elderly socdem friend unfortunately.
#she said this RIGHT after talking about how bad yt misinfo is... which she followed up w SO I WAS WATCHING A YT DOC ABOUT WW2 & LEARNED THIS#youtube 'historians' are literally the most fascist breed of youtuber. avoid the vast majority like the plague lmao#i asked if the video was sourcing the hollow dahmer & the black book of communism & she didnt seem to know what those are lol#to her credit i told her straight up that she was incorrect & she at least faked being curious about doing more research but i am doubting#she also 'learned' that lenin killed trotsky lol get your propaganda right lenin was dead by then STALIN icepicked him <3#anyway im making jokes bc the worst part was a different conversation where she spoke positively of israel#THAT'S gonna be the one to ruin our friendship. fuck you & your war tourist friend who fought in the 1960s landgrabs that youre now#telling me as if this is a cute story. nahhhh lmao i looked her straight in the eye & said i will NOT debate this#so she dropped it like the true enlightened centrist most socdem cowards are and i kept cleaning her house quietly#turns out You & Me We're the Only Ones Around Here Who Aren't Complete Fools was premature *kicks the poorly rendered gravel sadly*#shes otherwise a nice lady & i know i need to be more flexible in order to hopefully change ppls minds...#but also when people say awful & untrue things it makes me not want to talk to you 🤷‍♂️ srry 2 b a freak like that#also i know shes not transphobic but i havent sniffed her out well enough to know if shes safe to come out to#so its hours of misgendering (which isnt her fault she doesnt know) bc shes obsessed with neoliberal feminism and inappropriately brings#gender into conversations that it does not belong in#'did you know all the countries that handled covid best were ran by women?' 1) untrue 2) dont care finland still sucks#she also tried to tell me that european rich people learned to be nicer after the french rev & thats why europe is better than america...#girl shut up we learned how to be so good at racism and capitalism BECAUSE of europe. there is no such thing as a good rich person!!!#i pick my battles (genocide & anticommunist genocide revisionism) so i let her cook w that one & was not left convinced as you can imagine#ANYWAY rant about today's weird day done. gonna smoke weed & rim some skies 🥵 while listening to the Khrushchev Lied audiobook i found 😘
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the-trans-dragon · 8 months
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What if they didn't put ads every 3 posts. Three posts between ads, literally. Not even counting the ad for Tumblr Live.
Also what if tumblr didn't know what city Im in. I do not want my location tracked or stored anywhere unless I give explicit ongoing permission, like with my GPS app that I allow to track me only when the app is open, and then it deletes the data (allegedly) when I stop giving permission.
#ugh i do SO much to try to keep my location private. i use an android with all the tracking things Off (except for my weather app#which is a highly specific app that does NOTHING except provide weather; and i have the location turned Off so it doesnt even know where i#live). my tumblr email is not connected to any real life stuff because i made it when i was very closeted and made a new email and password#for it and never linked them to anything else. i have bare minimum apps. i use firefox and duckduckgo.#for shits sake i use a small barely-known map app because any Map App that has had large success under capitalism is inevitably going to#start selling private info or working with a cheap security system designed to allow quiet data leaks.#i guess i use gmail and gphotos but my phone doesnt HAVE a native Photo App. i have to use one i download and im too damn skittish to try#i guess i did get netflix recently....sigh.... i figured they WERENT tracking me because they email me EVERY TIME I USE NETFLIX to alert me#that OHHHH A NEW DEVICE IS USING NETFLIX AAAAA WHAT IF ITS AGAINST NETFLIX POLICY OH NOOOO. so i figured they didnt have a way to ID me.#UGH. CAN I PLEASE EXIST WITHOUT BEING MONITORED FOR FIVE SECONDS. can i please access Social Media which is a shitty substitute for actual#human connection but its the best i have--without someone noting my location and then trying to sell me things??? can i please watch film???#i cant go to a theater because my region does NOT believe in covid and not even medical staff attending Very Ill Patients wear masks anymore#stupid fucking homophobic transphobic anti-vax society has made it too dangerous for me to access most Not-Online forms of enrichment. and i#cant even use the Internet (a magnificent ASTONISHING human creation) without being tracked and advertised to.#ugh..#humanity is just so cool and brave and kind and amazing and yet we have taxes and advertisment IDs and traffic and medicine shortages.#its not like the ads even work. even when it shows me stuff i DO want. i cant fucking afford things. i already have spent too much money on#things that i dont need like Good Food and Entertainment and Juice. ugh....okay i do need food and liquids....Good food even. my body cant#survive on College Foods like it could in the past. And i might literally die if i dont buy juice...#and i guess its really really really heartwarming to have good entertainment to take breaks from all the stress.... its not like i havent l#..... like im so frugal. thank god my partners encourage me to buy myself things. i have been so much healthier since giving in and buying#Non-Water drinks instead of just Chronically Drinking Less Than A Bottle Of Water A Day. my partners are so good and sweet 😓 i shouldnt be#upset with myself for letting them convince me to take care of myself. that isnt fair to them or me so i will stop doing that now.#my faith in humanity is mostly just knowing that my partners exist. theyre so sweet. if people like them exist--then i have faith in humanty#no pressure lol. they are both so good and perfect regardless of how much energy they have to spare for Being Good. they are just inherently#very dear and good to me and for me. but just because i have faith in humanity doesnt mean im gonna stop complaining the whole time!!!!!! i#will whine about the bad stuff forever!!!! and BITE IT if i ever get the chance. but i will complain until the bothersome things go away.#if i complain my whole life with no results then...! so be it. i will whine and it will be art somehow.#sorenhoots
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kabutone · 7 months
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people are so shocked when they learn about the absolute depravity of the world thats right in front of them. not that its Good to be desensitized to horrific shit but like i am not surprised. every new bad news thing that comes out i am not surprised. yes, they will ignore death. they will let you die without a second thought. i'm sorry you are only just now learning this.
#like yes things are horrible right now and i get it#but ive seen two posts that are like how can people ignore this!!!!!#thats all the gov does. ignore shit and make problems worse#they do not fucking care who dies. UNLESS your death brings them money. then they actively encourage it.#like. did you know we did in fact have “the tools” to stop covid from becoming a pandemic?#did you know that we could have ended the pandemic fairly quickly too?#we didn't use them. they sent everyone “back to normal” so you can all die for capitalism.#unless you have kept up REALLY WELL chances are you have no fucking idea how high the covid death toll is. its higher than what's reported#the public has been being fed to the fucking wolves for years now. before covid too but for the entire pandemic especially#we have been left behind!!!! im sorry you only see that now and its a harsh reality to wake up to#like absolutely continue to call your senators and reps and whatever. like thats still a completely viable option#continue to educate yourself and talk about issues and keep it in discussion#but like. idk. its heartbreaking i get it.#especially to see people incredulously cry and wonder “how could our leaders see this suffering and ignore it?”#people have been left to “fall to the wayside” for years now and its just that now you see it#i understand the betrayal of “i thought those in office were there to PROTECT us and i thought they cared!”#anyway. idk i don't want to say things are futile . like keep trying cause thats all we Can do
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beholdthemem · 1 year
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The universe saw fit to gift my grandmother with a lovely case of covid for Christmas because of course it fucking did, so the past few days have been, uh...
Busy.
#personal#she's not in the hospital- she did end up going to urgent care on the 25th but they sent her home.#she did not TELL US she was going to urgent care we found out via whatsapp from my aunt#who'd been trying to coordinate a family zoom call and was informed by my granddad 'later. we're#at the hospital now'.#why did they not call and ask us to drive given that we live TEN MINUTES AWAY and granddad shouldn't be driving at the best of times?#that i could not tell you. something about 'not wanting to inconvenience-' which is insane#dad and i have been going up to try and get everything we can done for them since then#nana's been granddad's caretaker since he got diagnosed but anyone who's had covid can tell you it takes fucking EVERYTHING out of you#to just fucking walk around. im off work till the 9th thank god so i can be there as often as required but even so...#I have a sense that i should probably be freaking the fuck out but mostly im just... calm? it's not a happy calm idk what emotion this is#but it definitely isn't positive- but im not panicking. i feel like new bad info does not surprise me anymore it's just kind of a grit-your-#teeth-and-adjust-to-handle-shit deal. like. 'mm. god shits in our collective dinner once again. figures.'#there's no point in flying off the handle just figuring out how to fix things. im not happy but im... steady i guess?#im resigned and bitter and optimistic until im given proof not to be but mostly what i am is tired. not physically just-#my brain feels like a wrung out dishcloth. i keep trying to write because i know it'll make me happy if i can but its not working.#i keep writing paragraphs of shit that aren't matching up with what i want and if somebody gives me some meaningless platitude about#how maybe it's a sign it should be there and to try and incorporate it ill rip their face off. shut. up.
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youssefguedira · 8 months
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so so sleepy
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one-true-houselight · 2 years
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What is the point of requiring masks to walk into a building, only to leave it up for personal choice once people sit down for a performance? Do you understand how masks work?
#look. obviously the most relevant reason to be distressed about waning COVID precautions is the death and eugenics#but the personal things are hitting hard as well#there’s a show coming to DC that me my sibling and my mom all really want to go to#but a. saw people saying that was how enforcement was working which renders it unsafe#as well as b. the venue does food/drink anyway which annoys me in its own way#remember when we were all making fun of some conservative asshole for acting like taking off your mask ‘just to eat’ was good enough?#bc we realized viruses don’t care why we’re taking off our mask#but now suddenly it’s al masks are required unless eating or drinking#basically cancelling a large portion of any protection you might have gained.#and for what? so people could eat some popcorn or have a beer inside#(obviously it’s different for people with blood sugar/etc medical needs#but it’s not like anyone cares about disabled people any other time vis a vis masks so I don’t fully believe they actually care about#finding an equitable solution ya know?)#fuck the government and cdc for sacrificing people on the altar of capitalism#but also fuck people who can’t wear a mask/quarantine/not go out/etc to keep disabled people alive and even slightly welcome in public#yeah my mental health would be better if I went out more!#except! it would be balanced out by the negative impact of all the people I’m condemning to isolation and death#we have solutions we know solutions#but people were left to the mercies of a government that didn’t care and were bombarded by individualistic bullies in its place#so now a show that is literally synthesized to be my jam#is a biohazard.
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hecksupremechips · 1 month
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The most validating thing about having a brother in law is sometimes I’ll make a comment about my parents being kinda horrible and he’ll just be like "DUDE FINALLY SOMEONE SAID IT IVE BEEN THINKING THIS THE WHOLE TIME BUT DIDNT KNOW HOW TO ADDRESS IT"
#the klock keeps ticking#like i remember about 2 years ago when it really clicked with me that my parents were worse than i let myself believe#i had like covid and so to be safe i completely isolated myself in my room and only came out when no one was around#or with a mask on just to get food or use the bathroom that was it#and like when i had mostly recovered i stopped isolating and i looked around and noticed huh the house is kinda a hot mess#and i realized it was because i was the one who kept up with like basic cleaning and making sure things were in order#so like a little bit later i was in the car with my sister and brother in law and i was talking about this#and i was like ‘i think ive realized our parents are kinda unable to take care of themselves without me doing it for them’#and my BIL was like IM SO GLAD YOU FINALLY NOTICED THIS HAS BEEN DRIVING ME CRAZY FOR YEARS#which was just so validating i was like okay so im not just being an ass like this is an actual problem#and idk a more recent thing that maybe uh. made me a little bit emotional was we were basically at a cool place where you can climb shit#and he was just kinda there helping me when it seemed i was gonna lose balance to make sure i didnt get hurt#as well as my sister too and i was like oh god is this was like. basic affection feels like???#is this what it feels like to have someone care like actually kinda give a fuck about your safety and well being???#so yeah i maybe am still not okay with that and still dont know how to feel anymore 😭#so i guess even though hes stinky and i like to bully him I GUESS hes actually a pretty cool guy and he does make my sister happy and he#treats her with respect and hes very good with their cat so yeah maybe i actually really appreciate him and care more about him#than i do my parents and most people in my family#but i cant say that cuz then itll like. go straight to his head 🥺#and he still wont play pokepark 2 with me even though he PROMISED its been like 4 years since he said that and WE STILL HAVENT PLAYED IT 👺👺👺
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solemntitty · 3 months
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the thing about working for gov public health or any major org that does public health or community health is that so many people who are educated and well-meaning end up here and don't fucking know what it's like on the ground working directly with populations. like I work in data and epi related shit rn but bc I've worked directly with populations I'm like. y'all don't fucking know how it actually is. like, don't get me wrong, I know they mean well. but it is so, so easy in this bureaucracy to get lost in the numbers and forget the human impact. or to never have known it at all.
#jamie has made a statement#i had to write a high level summary today about school testing which ive literally done before#ive tested maybe. over 1000 people? for covid from tests that were given out through the program i now work for#personal#and ive done direct patient care and billing in private healthcare#so im like. do any of you guys know the impact these decisions have outside of the abstract#my boss used to work in trucking before this#i think some of my colleagues were from the dept of licensing previously or private companies#like a lot are former state gov employees who i know for a fact havent been on the ground#and my first job in PH was just numbers of death totals so i know what it is to be removed from it all#but state gov is an even further step of removal#and as with epi theres something to be said about the need to compartmentalize#i understand this. its hard to rationalize a reduction when you know it will hurt people who are vulnerable#when you /know/ that more could be done but you have to look at the large numbers#thats literally my job. is looking at the numbers and saying 'yeah. this isnt working' or 'we had less of this this year so we should#decrease xyz' i know this#but i also think about the people who were so grateful we had covid testing and who benefitted from it.#maybe some who i didnt know at all#and im like. what about those people.#does anyone else on my team even know what it looks like?#i can remove myself from it all but god at what cost?#also my degree is in PH so im like. i know the fucking theory
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moonstruckme · 3 months
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hey mae! it’s been awhile since i’ve sent an ask but im always reading your work girl! i love how you write tbh. if you’re up to it do you think you could write something with poly marauders, where the reader has trouble eating and making themself eat due to poor appetite. my appetite really does come and go and ever since covid (maybe before) it’s like eating makes me feel revolted. sometimes i just don’t feel like eating bc of other things like depression, adhd, anxiety. i was just wondering if you could write something with the boys helping out the reader with finding out what sounds good, cooking, and eating if possible. sometimes having someone around to talk to and hang out with makes it so much easier to deal -🌶️
Hey Pepper, thank you sm! And thanks for being patient with me <3
cw: lack of appetite, mention of skipping meals
poly!marauders x gn!reader ♡ 1.1k words
The sun’s going down, the last dregs of its light spilling brilliant and golden over the book in your lap, and you can feel your boyfriends starting to get restless. Well, two of them. 
“If we’re missing half the ingredients,” Sirius says, trailing James into the kitchen, “it’s not going to be any good.” 
James only tsks. “Ye of little faith. That’s what improvisation is for.” He starts pulling things down from the cabinet. 
“You’re not even going to glance at the recipe?” 
“I don’t need to. I know the general vibe.” 
“Help!” Sirius calls towards the living room. “He’s gone off the rails. Remus, come fix it.” 
Remus turns around to look over the back of the sofa, his shoulder brushing yours as he does. He’s sitting right up against you despite the couch being empty, not that you mind. Remus is sort of like a cat that wants to be near you but not always to be pet. His touches are often like this, passive gestures like a hand on your head or his thigh pressed against yours. It works for you just fine; you can feel the affection bleeding into you from any point of contact. 
“Don’t you think we should just eat out?” Sirius asks, tilting his head and doing that thing with his eyes that you all pretend doesn’t work on you. 
Impressively, Remus keeps his face impassive. “I’m having leftover brussels sprouts,” he replies, “so it’s not really my concern. Anyway, James has a good history with not following recipes.” 
“Exactly,” James says, grinning at Sirius, who scowls. But then he fixes his gaze on Remus. “So why are you having that, Rem? Have what I’m making.” 
“Because they’re going to go bad, and I’m not hungry enough for a big meal.” The last part is said somewhat quieter, directed towards the living room as he turns back around and picks up his own book. 
Out of the corner of your eye, you can see James frown, but he glances at Sirius and they seem to collectively decide not to push it. Remus’ appetite isn’t much better than yours. He has his better days, but it’s not uncommon for him not to feel up to what your other boyfriends would consider a whole meal or to eat only chocolate until Sirius hounds him into something more substantial. 
James looks to you hopefully. “You’ll have some, won’t you sweetheart?” 
You wince, hating to let him down, and from the look on James’ face he clocks the guilt in your expression before even you get a chance to say, “I don’t think I’m really up to it tonight, either.” 
James deflates, but he’s clearly trying to put on a brave face. “That’s alright. I think I’ll just save it for another night, then.” 
“I’m sorry,” you say, setting your book facedown on the armrest and turning around to face him more fully. “You could still make it and just put leftovers in the freezer. Maybe I’ll have some tomorrow.” You wince again as soon as you say it. No promises, though.
The smile James gives you is comforting if not totally satisfied. “It’s okay. I’ll just make it another time, it’s not a problem.” 
You return his smile, close-lipped. Sirius is looking at you with narrowed eyes, arms crossed like he’s sizing you up. 
“What are you going to eat?” he asks. 
“Hm?” 
“What are you going to have instead?” You hesitate, and he tilts his head knowingly, a piece of hair slipping from behind his ear to drape over his shoulder. “You need to have something, especially since you didn’t have lunch.” 
From the kitchen, James looks at you. “You didn’t?” 
“I just…don’t feel like it.” It’s a feeble argument even to your own ears, and the look Sirius gives you says that he thinks so, too. 
“You can’t miss two meals,” he says obstinately. “Even Remus is having some brussels sprouts.”
You look to Remus to be offended at the even Remus comment, but he only shrugs. You’re on your own. 
“What sounds good?” he asks you. 
You try not to pout. “Nothing. Everything sounds gross.” 
“C’mon, baby.” Sirius leans against the countertop. “It doesn’t have to be strictly dinner food, yeah? Just anything that sounds like you’d be willing to eat it.” 
You think for a minute. Remus touches the back of his hand to your leg, knuckles soothing over the skin beside your knee. 
“I guess…ice cream sounds okay,” you say hesitantly. “But I know that’s not exactly nutritious…” 
“Would a milkshake be close enough?” James pipes up. 
You shrug. “I guess.” 
He grins. “I can do that for you, love. Just gimme a sec.” 
James is a loud cook. You go back to your book while cabinet doors slam and the blender whirs and you hear a muffled “oh, shit” as something is undoubtedly dropped on the floor, but a minute later he’s bringing you a glass of something thick and chocolate-y looking. You smile at the added garnish of mint and a straw, reaching for it. 
“Thanks, Jamie.” 
He winks. “Anytime.” 
Remus is the only one courteous enough not to obviously watch while you take a sip, and you feel your eyebrows raise as you look up at James. 
“This is really good,” you say. He practically glows at the praise. “I didn’t even know we had chocolate ice cream.” 
Sirius barks a laugh, and James’ smile widens. 
“What?” you ask. 
“We don’t,” he admits. “Will it ruin your appetite if I tell you it’s not actually ice cream?” 
You shake your head, sucking at the straw. “I’m already drinking it, so.” 
James beams. He really is looking very proud of himself. “It’s a protein shake. A pretty balanced meal, actually.” 
“Nice!” You grin at him, taking another hearty slurp mostly because you know it’ll please him. “It’s perfect, thank you.” 
“Gotta keep our sweetheart fed,” he says, bending down for a kiss. Sirius and Remus’ hums of approval nearly harmonize, and you and James share an elated look while they both do their best to pretend like it didn’t happen. 
“Can I try?” Remus asks, and you tilt the cup towards him in invitation. 
He wraps his lips around your straw, sipping hesitantly. He looks mildly impressed. 
“Could you make me one of those too?” 
From the look on James’ face, he’d be delighted to. “Course, love.” He plants a smacker on Remus’ cheek and nearly knocks Sirius over as he beelines for the kitchen. 
“This is just excellent,” Sirius gripes, but you see the satisfaction in his expression. “Now that you two have blown up his ego, I’ll have to eat something he makes too.” 
“Correct,” James says brightly. “And you should be so lucky.” 
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thecherrygod · 2 years
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#my posts#hi hello i am unwell and i dont really know what to do about it so im gonna make this post so i can try to get it off my system properly so#i can keep studying soon#.... this is sort of the year im finally making any sort of friends again like in general#like i havent had people that i actually enjoyed hanging out or anything in years. before covid#just like.. a few online people and while i enjoy them i still felt very lonely#so now i have these people i share classes with and that arent exactly friends but i dont remember the english term its long its weird#but we get along and they care right? well. the more they care the. the worst i feel#i. i dont get it#this one guy told me he basically trusts me for anything and he is becoming physical (like. friendly. pats on the shoulder or similar)#we are more friends than just classmates at this point but still. learning that he trusts me to have like. emotional conversations...#it... it sorta ruined me. like partially it does make me kinda happy but. it makes me want to. die? i dont know?#im. not used to this i. i dont know. i feel like its. wrong somehow. idk why#today i had class with this girl and at the end she said 'oh wait i wont see you until next monday bc we dont have class on friday :('#and then she hugged me before leaving and. i mean it was a nice hug. short but... meaningful? i guess?#and. i.... i dont know i. there was still a bit of class left and i couldnt hear what the teacher said at all bc i was just. feeling bad#about being liked. i. this is so fucking stupid and i can't really tell anyone. i cant be like that bc i still want to feel like people#like being around me so if i say it makes me feel bad they wont want me around so i have to deal with this like..... man.#it also makes me feel like I'm a bad person lmao#i feel like an asshole bc people wanting me around. idk. scares me? worries me? makes me feel like they shouldnt feel like that?#im not even sure why it makes me feel so bad it just does#ok maybe i sorta know maybe its related to the yearly depresive episode around this time of the year like it makes it worse#and maybe it's related tl how moat of my class related frienships have usually being bad#and like adding to the strong depression ive also being feeling very suicidal like more than often like i won't do ir but i cant igmore it#so maybe its around that? idk man. i just don't know but it does make me feel bad and feeling bad over it makes me feel worse its#a cycle and its stupid and it makes me feel pathetic lmao
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boldlygoingtohell · 6 months
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In a weird way, as a Jew, I can kinda take Normal Antisemitism™️.
I mean, I understand where right-wing racists are coming from when it comes to their antisemitism. At the end of the day, theirs just comes from fear, replacement theory, etc… It’s easily identifiable. 2+2=4. Yea its shitty, but I see how they got from A to B and it’s a straight line.
But left-wing antisemitism?? Like, how does that happen? I thought the left was about supporting minority groups, encouraging them to speak and be heard. But all I’m seeing from leftists these days (I myself being super fucking liberal, left, etc…) is just waves and waves of antisemitism. And yes it has to do with Israel, but these people are incapable of criticizing the Israeli government without going “all Jews are responsible!” in the process. It's infuriating.
Are all the the world’s Jews, millions of which live OUTSIDE of Israel, now responsible for Israel’s actions? I'M a stupid American! I’ve never even BEEN to Israel, much less know the intricate details of a geo-political conflict whose complexities go willfully unlearned by armchair activists in favor of yelling in all caps for 140 characters.
But what really gets me, and I mean REALLY get me about the whole situation, is the hypocrisy.
Remember how awful it was when we saw waves of Islamophobic hate crimes after 9/11, American Muslims with no ties to al-Qaeda being targeted for the faith those terrorists claimed to represent?
Or do you remember standing against the wave of anti-Asian hate crimes that was spurned on by COVID falsehoods? The “China virus” as Trump so eloquently put it? You remember being pissed about that, not blaming Asian Americans but standing with them against hate?
And hell, I’ve heard there has been a rash of Islamophobic attacks again because of the Israeli-Gaza conflict. That’s fucking awful, and I will stand against that bull shit because it does not belong here, end of story.
But now there are also antisemitic attacks, hate crimes, being perpetrated around the world. And who are the perpetrators now? The left that stood against everything else. There's no widespread ally-ship for Jews like me. There's no sweeping social media campaign, no catchy hashtag, no ice bucket challenge.
Why am I allowed to be condemned for what a country on the other side of the world is doing, when I have nothing to do with it? Why can I have the finger pointed at me when I don’t want the fighting in the first place? Why must Jews be allowed to be the target of this ire when it's already been decided that other ethnicities/religions don't deserve it either?
Now, I am PROUD to be Jewish; it is my culture, in my heritage, in my literal blood. It is in my genetics, my bones, my spoken language, it is in the holidays I celebrate, the philosophies I live by.
But it is also in the generational trauma of my mother insisting I have a passport as a young child, not because we were traveling, but in case we had to flee. It is in her inherent distrust of the government; a card-carrying Democrat all her life, she would always remind me, "if you don't think the government can't turn on you, you're kidding yourself." It is her constant reminders that as a Jew, our assimilation is conditional, our acceptance is political. I felt these, but never as strongly as she did. Not until now.
I am third generation American, and yet I feel like an outsider in the only country I have ever known. People who I thought understood, who were my friends, who marched with me against the injustices of the world, are now calling after Jews to answer for Israel's actions.
I say I don't want the violence to persist and I'm told that I'm, "one of the good ones". I'm told hurt Israelis don't deserve sympathy because, "all Jews are rich anyway, right? Who cares." I tell them my fears about the rising antisemitism and wearing my star of david necklace out. I'm told, "it doesn't matter, you're white anyway."
For the first time in my life, the racists aren't just some crazy KKK members. They're not just Nazis marching around with beer bellies and ill fitting helmets. It's not just some screeching street preacher who claims I'm going to hell after he caught the glint off my star of david necklace. If needs be, I can kick and punch my way out of those. They're just idiots. Isolated, concentrated incidents. It'd be a good story to tell at a bar the next day though a gap-toothed smile and a sling on my shoulder.
But now, both sides are coming after me and my people. Now, it's not just idiots who have all of their views backwards; it's people I thought I could trust to have my back, to go down swinging with me against those Nazis. Right. Left. It's everywhere. There's no escape.
It's coming from all sides. It's coming from social media platforms, from dinners with friends, from posters on street lamps.
I live in one of the safest, most Jewish neighborhoods in America, and for the first time in my life I am truly scared.
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twig-tea · 21 days
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Things from Wandee Goodday ep 3 I can't stop thinking about:
I love so much that we got some good friends with benefits tension around personal boundaries when Dee asked who Yei was and then backed off (but Yak told him anyway). And between the jokes about rimming, Dee demanding Yak pay more attention to his dick last episode, and starting this episode in the 69 position, I am very, very here for this show saying over and over that sex is not just one act.
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[ID: Gif of the beginning of episode 3, whichi is a pan-to-shot of Dee and Yak laying in 69 position on the floor under blankets]
i loved the different responses to hearing someone you love is in a "Friends with Benefits" situation; Kao warned Dee not to catch feelings or read too much into the situation and Cher/Yei teased Yak for lying to himself about what the situation is. Both are super valid and speak to who Dee and Yak are, who Kao and Cher/Yei are, and all of their experiences with love. And it speaks to the closeness of these relationships too, that Cher noticed Yak's necklace gone immediately and Kao similarly clocked its addition on Dee instantly.
Super here for Kao being the ultimate support bestie at work, equal parts haranguing and backing Dee up. Their relationship is perfection.
I really liked Yak peace-ing out of their agreement when Dee dropped a huge request with no context, that was so valid and in the spirit of FWB (he didn't actually owe him a bigger conversation).
I've already reblogged a couple of other people (@negrowhat and @lurkingshan) talking about this so I won't belabour it, but I am judging Dee for not only ignoring Yak's boundaries by going to his workplace and forcing him to train him and then flirting with him during training sessions after Yak both made clear he's worried about being out at work and had ended their agreement. I hope we get more of an explanation for Yak's reticence about dating a man while aiming for the championship as well as his change of mind.
The conversations with Cher and Oyei have me so curious about their history! Tell me everything, show. I put these questions in tags on a gifset (but to put them on main: Where is Oyei and Yak's father (who is also a former champ but apparently uninvolved with this family business, if he's still alive)? What happened to Yak's mother that he doesn't know if he takes after her? Why can they go to Cher's family for financial help but not Yei/Yak's (to the point where they had to take out what sounds like a predatory loan during COVID)? What is Cher afraid of re: being seen being affectionate to Oyei, and where does that come from? Is this history related to why Yak is so worried about his relationship to Dee getting in the way of his championship? All of this is seeded so organically and I'm so, so curious. It also has me even more in my feelings about Cher and Yei calling Yak their son.
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[ID: Gif of Yei saying to Cher: I own this place. What's there to be afraid of? From the set linked in the paragraph above]
[I have a clown theory that Cher and Oyei's relationship is why his dad is out of the picture and his gym is in financial trouble (because it prevented Yei from getting sponsorship despite being a champion), and why Yak is worried about being in a relationship with a man even though he knows his brother won't care...we'll see how much of this the show pulls together!]
The flash of trauma from Dee at the crosswalk was interesting too; where is that going? What happened in Dee's past and how is it going to affect the story in future?
[More clown speculation: Is it related to why Dee is so good with patients and passionate about ortho? Has he seen someone in his life become disabled due to physical injury?]
Speaking of, I really loved seeing Dee be good at his job and great with patients and their families. In addition to it being just nice to see and good for our understanding of his character, it sets him up to have a fighting chance in the contest too, since patients apparently get a vote.
I love love love the camaraderie and giggling between Dee and Yak around making Ter jealous and shoving their fake relationship in those gossiping nurses' faces. The way they are actually friends who like one another and enjoy spending time together is just really wonderful to watch.
My biggest question is: Will Dee get a chance in this narrative to show up for Yak the way Yak has been showing up for Dee? And how can that current imbalance be reconciled with this all leading towards Dee trying to get a placement to go abroad--and his self-stated toxic trait of always needing to win? [shoutout to @chicademartinica for laying that out succinctly in her post]
In the meantime, I'm having a blast.
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asynca · 8 months
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I hope this question isn't too random. One thing I noticed is people are for some reason are acting like the pandemic is over and just return to normal and no masks. Even though it is still going on and still effects so many people. Why do you think they think its over?
This is probably quite a deep psychological question about the capacity of people to tolerate fear and stress over a long period of time. I could probably answer it in a more professional way than I'm going to.
Several of my friends are doctors. The research that's coming out about how it's likely to shorten the lives of literally everyone who gets it (especially multiple times), about how if we continue to let it rip a huge percentage of the population (20-30%) will end up measurably disabled in some way by it by 2035 is like... this is serious. This is not a 'flu'. We are also discovering several cancers or other disabling conditions are caused by viruses - I worry a lot about the capacity of COVID to ruin lives. It also has a general effect on the brain that causes lower capacity, less ability to regulate emotions and causes aggression. New mental illness is a common long covid symptom.
I do what I can to avoid it. I still wear a n95 mask out in public. I make my wife do it too, even though we are usually the only two people out wearing masks. I don't take my children indoors anywhere public - we go to parks and playgrounds. My daughter has been in a supermarket just once in her life. Is that good for her? Probably not. But it's a darn sight better than a preventable disability (or type 1 diabetes, or hepatitis, or actually dying) at 2 years old. Not to mention the fact I have a baby sub 6 months old and a father who is very ill and would probably die if he got COVID.
COVID is serious. Governments could put in simple useful measures (like mandating better air filtration and circulation in schools and public buildings etc) but they don't. Everyone's just pretending it's over. It's in the 'too hard' basket.
The research and proof is there in peer reviewed journals. People are just ignoring it until they can't ignore it anymore because either they end up disabled themselves, or someone they love does or dies. I don't know what to do anymore, man. I just try and take the precautions I can reasonably take understanding the capacity of this extremely transmissible virus to kill or disable me or the people I love.
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WIBTA For Snitching On My Brother?
tl;dr at the end, the submissions a bit long. sorry if this sounds like stupid teen drama, but i needed outside opinions. (tw for mentions of attempted suicide)
so for a bit of context here, me (14nb) and my brother (14m) both have Parental RestrictionsTM on our phones. In my opinion they are way more severe than they need to be. i am not allowed to have any social media at all, my mother barely tolerates discord. I cannot text anyone who is not my direct sibling or parent from 9pm at night to noon the next day and i cant use any "nonessential" apps during that time frame too. my brother has the same restrictions on his phone, but he has safari removed because my mother said he was playing "random internet games". however, he has found ways around this and ways around the app restrictions. i know how he does it. i really dont have any intention of telling our mother, its none of my business and i honestly dont care that much.
I recently moved to a new school. My brother and i were homeschooled prior to this during covid. And it was fine. We went to a homeschool co-op twice a week. A year ago we were both enrolled in Local Community College as dual enrollment students. A semester into that i was Not Vibing Well and ended up having a breakdown and getting a therapist. I would talk to her directly about this but i havent been able to see her in weeks due to scheduling conflicts. The workload seemed too much to me, there was no longer a distinction between School and Home. i felt like i was constantly on the clock, and i barely saw my friends. In addition to other factors at my co-op, I got very lonely. At that time the limits on my phone were 9pm-3pm (it was later edited to 9am to noon) . I cant remember exactly what happened, but i asked my mother to at least change the communication limits so that i could talk to my friends during the day. She said no, stating that I Do Not Need to Communicate With Friends During The School Day. i do not have a real “school day” i am at home basically 5/7 days of the week. And normal kids see their friends every day at school. The argument got dropped then.
Fast forward half a year, i felt increasingly lonely, out of place, bothersome, etc, at my co-op and have decided to try going to Local Public Highschool. This meant leaving my best friend (14f)  whom i love dearly (for the purposes of this post i will call her Z). Z is one of my favorite people in the whole world, we got platonically married, I lovingly refer to her as “my wife”, and i would genuinely die for her. She got a phone over the summer which means we have a better way to communicate, replacing discord as the primary communication system. Also at that time one of my best online friends fucked up their discord account somehow and the whole online group moved to text. there's about four of them? J, Other J, B, and L (ages vary from 12-16). I believe only B is directly relevant to this story but the others are worth mentioning. Additional context (tw for mentions of suicide from now on), all of those four are varyingly suicidal. B has attempted before, at least twice I believe. out of the group i am probably the most mentally stable.
School starts! I am already feeling a bit lonely due to leaving Z but we stay positive. I wake up for school at like 530 and check my phone at like 6:45. Woohoo a message from B! It was sent at 4 am. This is concerning. There is a glitch that i can use in order to view texts for between half a second and four seconds, it depends, and i use it. B’s message reads “Bye”. theres no fucking reason that they would be texting me goodbye at 4am in the morning unless they were going to kill themselves. I cannot properly view or respond to that text until noon, so eight hours. I wait to know if my friend is ok for eight hours, and at noon i check my phone again. In that time i’ve received messages from the groupchat. J, Other J, and L all received “bye” texts from B at around the same time period. After a few messages, we know B is ok, i dmed them privately and they responded both in ims and the gc. So they are ok. But i had to wait for eight hours to know that. Later that day i asked my mom if she had considered my proposal (i asked her a day or two before if she would at least turn off communication limits because it is also rather embarrassing to be honest to have to tell other people that oh i cant respond to your message right now, sorry my mom has limits on my phone :D. In addition i get anxious when i send a message that im nervous abt and it doesnt get responded to for hours so i hate leaving messages for longer than two hours). Once again, she said no. it goes against her Views As A Parent for me to have “unrestricted access” to my phone. She offered to add only Z to the list of people i can contact during the limits. This is better than nothing but Z texts more in the groupchat than she does in private messages so it wouldn’t work that well. We argued, it didnt work out, i got pissed off and we both went to bed. i very strongly feel that for like my mental health i need to be able to communicate with my friends better than i can at the moment. And i dont want to wake up to a message from a friend, have it be the last one they ever send, and not be able to respond for hours. 
Heres where the part where i could be an asshole comes in. (so sorry that that was really long i didnt know what parts would be needed as context and what were not so i just typed everything i think might be relevant). This isnt something that i am very strongly considering, as i truly dont want to fuck up my relationship with my brother and i love him a lot. I just want opinions on whether it would like be going too far i guess. I am considering offering a trade. I tell my mother how my brother has found ways around his limits, and she turns off the communication limits on my phone. WIBTA if i did that?
TL;DR: would i be the asshole if i snitched on how my brother got around some restrictions in exchange for me being able to communicate with my friends?
What are these acronyms?
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ana-snz · 20 days
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More thoughts on the recent snzblr discourse. I will try my best to be understanding and levelheaded about this, but this topic is very personal to me so forgive me if I’m not entirely able to.
I will start by saying that it is not “purity culture” or “moral panic” to say that having this kink does not excuse intentionally infecting unconsenting individuals with illness. There is a MASSIVE difference between enjoying a kink in a consensual setting or fantasizing about it (no one is saying you can’t do these things, you are not being shamed for your fantasies / desires!) and actually involving unwilling individuals in your kink.
Consent is the #1 most important thing in all kink spaces. Like yes we are all here for the same reason, and there may be a propensity to feel defensive if you feel you are being kink-shamed in what is supposed to be a space for us all to be as open and loud and unabashed about our desires as we want, but it is still absolutely crucial to delineate between what is fantasy and what is reality, and understand that our real life actions can and do have consequences. We are not living inside a sickfic, the ways in which we choose to engage in our kink MUST be consensual, respectful, responsible, and safe. It is the bare minimum for this, or any kink space.
It is not kink-shaming to say that non-consensual engagement is wrong and unethical, ESPECIALLY when it comes to something as potentially dangerous as illness. It’s also worth acknowledging that the dynamic of our community has been greatly impacted by COVID, just by the nature of what the kink entails, and that this sucks and is worth mourning, but just like with many other things the pandemic has impacted, we cannot hang on to this old way of being when it no longer is safe or realistic to do so. This is the way things are now, and it sucks, but we can still find SO much enjoyment and gratification and pleasure in the way things are now.
If you are feeling discomfort, if the points disabled people are bringing up around this topic are making you question yourself and your actions, that is likely something for you sit with and explore yourself, rather than trying to debate with disabled people on whether or not their reaction to inflammatory, ableist content is “moral panic”. Understand that this conversation is part of a much, much larger picture and that it is not isolated to just our community, but rather a reflection of a larger systemic response in which disabled people have been disbelieved, undermined, and discarded when it comes to our rights and safety during an ongoing pandemic.
If you didn’t read as much into *that* post as some of us did, great. You likely don’t have to be on hyper alert for this kind of content, but we see it all the time, everywhere. The casual downplaying of COVID and the flippancy about its risks are things we are all too familiar with, and tone policing marginalized folks when we get upset about harmful content is not the move. Listen to us, learn from us, be in solidarity with us. It may seem counterintuitive to you to care about these things in what many of us may see as just a place to escape and have a little fun, but respect is the backbone of kink spaces and we’d all fare well if we could remember that.
This was longer than I planned on it being, oops. I also blocked some people so I don’t even know who will see this but just wanted to add my piece. Love y’all bbs, stay safe ❤️
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animentality · 1 month
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not to be a boomer, but I do worry about the current generation of kids being raised with iPads.
first off. some of them literally can't hold a pencil because their parents never gave them physical toys to grip and play with, developing their fine motor skills.
you might ask why do we even need to learn how to write physically anymore- well, frankly, because if you're stranded on an island somewhere and you need to write HELP, you might not have the strength to hold a pencil, but you can at least hold a stick.
but on a more general note.
writing by hand helps you remember things better. it forces you to focus in a way that typing something word for word does not. a person can transcribe what a professor says without even thinking about it.
someone writing notes has to consider what to write and what to omit. it also activates more parts of your brain, forcing you to flex the parts of your brain related to learning and communicating, while also engaging the part of your brain dedicated to muscle control and precision.
but in general, I think the issue isn't even oh technology is bad and kids are getting dumber.
you can have PowerPoints AND take physical notes. that could help you learn even better than the olden days where you just had to remember everything that was thrown at you. or read very limited, out of date books.
the problem is that the generation that raised/is raising this generation of children just doesn't understand the true impact that all this technology will have on their kids. or they just don't care.
because our generation had the internet yes, but it wasn't widely accessible for most of us, sharing our computers with the entire family in the kitchen. it was also the internet in its infancy, where it wasn't quite so predatory, when it was lawless and disturbing, yes, but it wasn't weaponized by corporations trying to sell you things and steal your data, it wasn't flooded with bots and ai and all sorts of things that the human brain can't even distinguish as real or fake, especially when you're just a little kid.
that generation still played with physical toys. we celebrated when it snowed and we could stay home.
we also came from a gen that still, vaguely, cared about some form of community and had third spaces for kids to hang out.
90s children, who still had some memories of both playing outside on a playground and playing Mario Kart on the Nintendo 64 with their friends, who both went out to the mall and had a club penguin account.
we grew up with laptops and smart boards. maybe some of us had them in high school or college, but we still physically went to class and developed relationships. learned uncomfortable things about ourselves and others, the way humans do.
met new people and were exposed to new ideas, away from our parents. but not from some fucking influencer trying to sell us Sephora products.
we had to study for things, instead of just being able to Google shit for some bullshit online test.
which is also something that really concerns me. so many kids today can so easily Google answers for every test, and while tests don't ultimately matter in the real world, they still provide some basis for things that do matter.
like I'm just imagining medical students googling how to perform an appendectomy on the day of, and just using a YouTube tutorial to guide them through, and shuddering.
there are some things that the Internet can't teach you.
there always will be.
but I don't think my generation is really helping their kids find the balance that we were given naturally growing up.
the boomers and gen xers had fist fights and we had bullying someone online until they committed suicide.
and now kids use AI to spread fake nudes of girls.
but the laws haven't caught up with a lot of this stuff yet, and certainly won't while we have dinosaurs running our government. and culture takes even longer to change than laws.
I also worry because I know how badly covid affected kids worldwide. how they struggle to read and do math, because remote learning just isn't good for kids.
and I can't even blame them!! I literally teleworked for 4 years and even I can admit that I'm not nearly as good at focusing at home as I am in the office.
it's hard for kids with social anxiety and disabilities, yes I know, I know, trust me, I have social anxiety, and as a hybrid worker ATM, I highly doubt I'd be able to handle 5 days a week in the office.
but it's also not particularly good for kids to stay home ALL the time, entertaining themselves in their room and never being challenged, and never meeting people other than their parents.
the iPad is more of a symbol of that problem than the direct problem.
if your entire... world view is limited to what you can see on your iPad... I mean what a terrible world view you'll have.
you're a 10 year old using TikTok and all you ever see is the same opinion over and over until you can scarcely comprehend people who have an opposing opinion.
you see fake videos that seem so real. that must be real, and so comforting, aren't they, those videos that seem so real?
you let 30 year old influencers who are trying to grift people shape your world view.
and it's not even your fault.
your parents aren't doing anything to help you.
you're young and you're being barraged with entertainment and fake educational videos and how to guides that accidentally create mustard gas in your toilet.
your parents should be teaching you to find a balance between these things. they should be telling you what's real and caution you about the things you see.
they should limit your fucking time on the iPad actually. take you to a fucking park and let you roll in the mud or some shit.
and then when you're a teenager and a young adult, then you can start deciding for yourself what you believe.
but a lot of these weird millennial/gen z parents, man. just let your 1 year old scroll through vids on TikTok while you don't even talk to them or look at them once.
maybe it's because they don't see the harm in it, but I don't get it.
adults can watch TikTok all day and know, ahhh this is bad for me. I'm not doing anything I actually want to be doing.
adults can see other adults doing dumb shit and say ah you're sponsored. someone paid you money to say and do that. silly.
but kids are just kids.
they don't have discipline and frankly, that's not their responsibility. that is yours.
you should be teaching them that they can't have everything in life at their finger tips at all times, actually.
the iPad doesn't solve all of your problems, nor will it think critically for you.
so I worry about if humanity can really keep up with its own technology.
our species is still in its infancy, believe it or not.
so maybe these are just growing pains, and future generations will be able to look back on this era and know the proper balance.
but as someone living in 2024.
I wonder just how much pain is left before we really mature and either make it or break it.
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