#crack;; don’t break yo mama’s back

[adventures-written]

@wolfsmuses​

 "It's okay, Nai! We're sleeping as you said."

“Not together. Get out of bed with that thing now!”

[daydreamsandcrashingwaves]

KICTTC 5

I'm BACK helloooo! Oh my goodness friends! I have so much to tell you all! So I kinda was collar grabbed by this story so my edit of chapter 4 is SO different from what I posted here, SOOOOO I'm posting a bit of the edited Ch4 so no one misses out on plot! ahhh I've been so excited to share this all with you!!!! Transference chapter 3 is in the works as well as a secret WIP! I really wanna focus of my first two stories though so Idk when that will be up or what an update schedule might look like.

Anyways the Angst is strong, the trauma and body horror is as strong as the blasphemous tea I brew, read at your own leisure I aint yo mama lol

Stay safe, give yourself grace, take your meds, get some sun, burrow in a blanket nest, drink water and eat a snack lovelies!

~Ren

Once Danny makes a decision he throws himself in head first, this will be no different. Danny has to start at the beginning. He must tell them everything to have a hope of them understanding how Danny ended up dropping through a portal to his brother’s side. For… their family to understand what true danger hunts him even now.

Dick sips his cup of coffee only to look at it betrayed when it’s bitter and cold. He has been in Bruce’s study watching the live feed of the recovery room for hours. He managed to drag himself to bed when Alfred had insisted but his dreams had been plagued with Danyal trembling on the floor, knife hilt deep in his small neck, the sight of them in the doorway had made him panic and then he was bleeding out, his breath gurgling in his throat as he died. It was an awful way to wake up and he couldn’t even go check on Danyal in person! Damian had cashed in a lot of the blackmail he’s kept on them to keep them away. While Dick was proud of his little brother’s emotional growth, seeing their youngest in person would go a long way for Dick to shake off his nightmare. He is a bat though so he will endure, especially because this involves his family, his brothers. 

As the sun started dipping below the horizon behind the curtains Tim walked into the study with two large cups filled to the top with coffee, one with a ton of sugar and cream the other plain black coffee, “Awe Timmy! You brought me coffee!” Dick snatches the plain one up with a smirk. 

Tim just grumbles at his grabby hands and relinquishes the cup. He shuffles over to the couch and pulls out his laptop to work on something- Dick isn’t sure where Tim had managed to safely carry the computer with two fresh coffees- and promptly ignores the others as they file in the next ten or so minutes. Judging by the dark circles under everyone’s eyes, sleep was hard to come by. 

Bruce is slumped into his chair watching the twins. No one breaks the silence. Dick eyes Jason from where his brother has propped himself against the wall out of the way Their father’s shoulders are tense in anger. So Talia is probably giving him the slip. He can’t help but feel resentment for the woman who keeps secrets that hurt his family. She knows that people don’t always stay dead. When Jason died, the only reason Dick had to face it, recognize that his little brother was dead was because they had his body as sure proof he had been murdered. Dick has seen many times how Bruce grieves and it’s never good. Adding in a twin? Bruce is holding himself together with sheer will power and meticulous training. Bruce might be almost impossible to read but he was the first boy to be adopted. He has more Bruce experience than anyone else in the family but Alfred. He can see the cracks. 

Turning back to the screen Dick lets out a little coo at the image. Damian is awake and is looking at Danyal like he’d disappear from under the blanket they share. The boy carefully extracts himself to use the restroom that’s tucked away in the corner. When he comes back onto the screen he is changed into his sweatpants and a t-shirt Dick recognizes as his own. He also spots a change of clothes for Danyal in his arms, which he sets on the side table next to the bed before Damian goes around refilling the water pitcher and glass to be ready for use, setting fresh towels out. 

Turning his attention to the younger boy, he can see how sickly the boy is when they’re side by side to compare. His pale skin shows off the dark veins underneath, his cheeks are caving into his face, all his baby fat eaten away, dark bruises under his eyes, and with how injured he was… it’s not telling a pretty story. Dick is confident that if Danyal hadn’t dropped out of the rafters in that warehouse they’d never know he could’ve been out there. He desperately needed help even if he hadn’t realized it yet. Bruce and Dick watch Damian crawl back into bed, Danny doesn’t wake but he does turn towards where Damian has frozen owl-eyed. An arm snags the bottom edge of Damian’s shirt and like a signal the rest of his limbs follow to entwine them together. It’s very cute. With a smirk Dick takes out his phone and snaps a quick picture. It’s unlikely to truly upset Damian since it’s probably the only picture that they have of the twins together right now, but however Damian responds when he knows the picture exists will be satisfying. 

“Are we gonna get on with it or just sit in silence with our thumbs up our asses?” Jason glares, looking significantly more tense. He stares down the room while crossing his arms across his chest. 

Dick sees Bruce’s shoulders square up like he’s bracing for a physical punch instead of the verbal jab. Batman has an almost obsessive need to know everything he can about a situation, it was one of his many lessons that they as his children made into muscle memory. Knowledge made carefully crafted contingency plans that kept their family safe on and off the streets. Something to hold, to have in reserve for when they need it. To be thrown so many unknowns in the shape of a brother was unsettling them all. 

“Jason.” Dick throws him a disappointed look from where he stands by Bruce, placing a hand on his shoulder to diffuse the argument that would shortly explode. “Danyal hasn’t been conscious, he hasn’t had the chance to explain anything yet, has he?” He raises his eyebrow at his brother. The family might not always reach an agreement on, well most things, but Dick knows his younger brother cares. He does. He won’t admit it but he’s here. Red Hood sticks to Crime Alley, looking after his people and- though he won’t claim them- his kids. One glance at Danyal’s wounded, still form was all it took to gain his loyalty. Red Hood liked to take his aggression out on those who disrespect his claim. Jason’s impulse to run off and hunt the monsters who could harm a child this way was poorly hidden. Dick understood the feeling so he didn’t push further.

Jason sneered at his words but didn’t bite back, just turned his impatient gaze towards Tim. “I’m sure Tim has been doing more digging than sleeping.”

Bruce inhales sharply drawing all of their attention. He’s looking at the monitor, hitting the unmute, Damian’s voice floods the room. “I simply meant you only have to tell me what has happened since we were separated… Once, here. I-We had thought you would prefer what privacy we can afford while we determined who had made the grave mistake of harming you. The family, while well intentioned, can be overwhelming. It is difficult gathering everyone and having them sit quietly for extended periods of time and our family is… large.” 

Damian’s description brought a small smile to Dick’s face. Danyal’s quiet reply dimmed the edges because he sounded so young. 

The whole group shifted and was laser focused on their new family member. Dick can’t think of any way to describe this whole situation as wrong as he took in what he could see.. It had nothing to do with Danny himself, or maybe it was more accurate to say whatever made his newly claimed baby brother look like that was what was firing off all his finely honed warning bells. A glance around at the others makes it clear they’re all, for once, on the same page.

If Bruce’s glare could kill the poor monitor would’ve been smoking at this point. Danyal was clearly at the end of his rope. Dick will admit as much as it irks him Damian was right to sequester the recovery room and keep Danyal in a calm area. They watch in horror as Danyal starts to speak. He was hesitant and nervous at first but slowly gained confidence when Damian didn’t react adversely. 

The rest of them didn’t have to restrain themselves. 

  “What the actual fuck?” That’s Tim’s angry voice, Dick shutters. He sounds like he’s already started on researching his shit list by the furious tapping that comes from the couch. Drs Fenton, the Ghost Investigation Ward, and Vlad Masters can’t possibly know what is coming for them. Dick isn’t sure whether to step in when Jason sinks down into the couch next to their younger brother and they immediately start whispering between themselves. 

He decides after a long look at the twins murmuring to each other that he would rather check on Bruce. “B?” 

The man that stands firm against Gotham’s most unsavory rogues, looks back at him lost. His eyes get drawn back to his sons on the screen, “He’s so small Dick. I-” It’s rare Bruce breaks in composure and Dick’s chest squeezes. His father looks haunted. 

“We’re here for him now, B.” He says gently. There are no words he could say that can erase what is already done. 

They listen to Tim and Jason in the background while watching Damian help Danyal get out of bed. Once on his feet Danyal waves his twin away. He’s weak and shaky but they breathe a bit easier when his legs don’t give out underneath his body weight. The short walk to the bathroom door seemed to have winded him. Danyal reaches for the wall and presses into it while he pauses. And pauses. 

Damian hasn’t rushed to his side so Dick tries not to panic. He probably needs a moment to gather himself. “Do you think we need to send Alfred down?” He asks Bruce. 

“What?” Tim and Jason both looked up at him in tandem. 

“Danyal! He was- well he is- fine. But look! He’s all hunched like he can’t breathe right? Why is Damian just watching?” Dick frets wringing his hands.

Attention diverted from their plans of destruction the two leave the couch and crowd around Bruce’s desk. 

“Oh fuck!” Tim curses, roughly rolling Bruce’s chair away from the keyboard. “I don’t know how they did it but I think the feed was paused, or spliced or looped. I’m trying to override it- Ah! I got it!” 

The feed clears and they all blink at the empty room. The bathroom door is open and Danyal’s things that were by the door are gone. 

Bruce jumps out of his chair. “What were they doing right before?” 

Tim pulls up the saved file and finds the moments right before the glitch. “They’re hugging?” A few lines of code and Tim has the background volume boosted. A hushed conversation in Arabic reaches their ears. 

“Okay Danyal, I understand and will help you,” Damian studies his brother for a moment, “how can I help you best in this moment Danyal, what is it you want.” 

They watch Danyal look around at the room, fear leaking in now that he’s not focused on the boy with him. “I can’t be here. I won’t heal.”

Bruce flinches like Danyal had hit him.

They embraced, and whatever else was said was too muffled to pick up.

They watch entranced, like a bruise you can’t help but press on, as the scene plays out and ends with Danyal leaning against the wall. 

“They can’t have gotten far, the demon brat wouldn’t risk hurting his precious twin, Dickie-Bird and I can fetch the chicks that flew the nest.” Jason sighs.

Bruce’s phone rings and they all look at it with reluctance. That’s Oracle’s ringtone so it’s important. Dick swipes the device and answers with a quick, “O, we’ve got a situation, please tell me this is important.”

“Yeah it is,” Barbra agrees, “if you guys were gonna patrol why wasn’t I looped in, huh?” 

Dick exchanges a confused look with the others. “Uh no, O, we agreed no patrol tonight, Black Bat, Signal, and Spoiler were our covers.”

“Then why is the Batmobile headed towards the edge of town?” 

They, with years of experience fighting side by side, spring in sync for the hidden entrance and pile into the elevator to the cave to change and to track down their brothers.

~~~~~~~

Gotham was unusually muggy this evening. Bruce could feel the sweat drip down his scalp and his suit was already damp. Breath blazed through his lungs yet brought him no warmth. He had to suppress his instinct to shiver. Fear was all he could feel. It was bone chillingly familiar. Nothing like Scarecrow’s toxin yet he was still sinking deeper into glacier littered water. As Batman, Bruce has taken many hits, faced the cruel underbelly of Gotham from the shadows and had said enough. Birthed from vengeance and relentlessly courting justice, he gets back up, keeps moving, doesn’t stay down even when he probably should. No one else had managed to stand against the city’s rogues. Every night he embraces their seething rage that blistered the streets and exploded buildings. Batman turns towards danger, not away. He is the shield that protects his city's people from the impact the best he can. It’s never enough. Batman has flung himself head first into a race that had long since started. 

In the rare hours he is alone surrounded by the soft glow of the Batcomputer and the quiet rustling of sleeping bats he can admit, those first years, he had enjoyed the vicious fights. Tangoing with death each night. He was entranced, he would dance until the curtain dropped. It was a destructive cycle he couldn’t escape. As he’s aged his compulsion to run off has cooled, and it was only after the first time Dick got more than just a few bruises did he realize the true cost. Even if he couldn’t stop them, perhaps he should’ve tried harder to work with his children to ensure their safety.  A family of vigilantes was a double edged blade. His curse to bear. The curse he spread. Every night his heart is split into pieces and goes with them as they stalk their prey from within the shadows. His children amaze terrify him in how they’ve all risen to fight back the miasma that threatens to swallow Gotham whole. 

He doesn’t know Danyal, has never learned what his favorite breakfast is or seen him off to school. They have never shared late night training sessions. His youngest has never fallen asleep sequestered away in his own world working on a case and for Bruce to find him and tuck him into bed like he has with all of his children at least once. No. He was never given a chance. Danyal’s existence was hidden from him. His death was a secret Damian was manipulated into thinking he had to carry the weight alone. And people believed Batman to be some sort of legendary detective. If Bruce was less controlled he might scoff at the thought. He missed things, big and small, all the time. Most often it was his children that were affected by his carelessness, his lack of understanding. 

He knows what it is to lose a son. In death and because of his own parental ineptitude. Bruce knows what it is for his world to spin out from under his feet and to let his rage blindly guide him. Bruce risks a glance at Jason, his walking, talking, breathing miracle. Why couldn’t he just say that to the person who needed to hear it. Jason had died, it was awful, truly awful. As an adult he has never felt so lost. Jason was only a child. A brilliant, bright, life snuffed out in the cruelest way only for some universal hiccup to thrust his soul back into body and for Talia to pick him up. They’ve never talked about the Y-incision that spans his entire torso. Jason hadn’t intended for him to see it. Bruce doesn’t know who is responsible. He doesn’t know if they dare breathe another breath on Earth. He’s afraid to ask. He’s afraid of what he’ll do if they aren’t already dead. No, the only thing he knew about it was what Jason had deliriously shared with him while sick with whooping cough. The cut may have happened but that was as far as they got. His ribs remained intact, his organs undisturbed. Bruce has to trust Jason told him the truth. Bruce hadn’t had the strength to imagine alternatives.

He has no choice now. Whatever Danyal’s journey has been, wherever he’s been. Bruce despairs that his youngest’s life journey has been too similar to Jason’s. Danny had listed off to Damian the multitude of injuries he had and Bruce just knew. Two of his sons have been dehumanized, valued as objects for other’s use, to state their curiosity. His youngest didn’t just get cut into, as despicable as that already was, no, he was awake, aware, alive as some sick fuck rooted around behind his ribs. (Half-alive. His gut rolls at the implications yet it brings none of his usual suspicions to draw his attention to what his son was hiding. Only he wasn’t hiding, not from the Wayne family. No, he had shared everything with very little prompting from Damian. Danyal was running from them) Bruce could only stare at the screen in his office in horror. How fast did his regenerative ability work to regrow his harvested organs? Did he have to break wrongly healed bones and had to hold them in place until they healed enough for him to escape or did his bones snap forcefully into place on their own-    

It’s a race against time now. Danyal is in no condition to be on the run. It would crush him to send him away but Bruce would. He can find a secure place away from him for his son if that’s what it took to make him feel safe enough to rest. Recovery needs to be his number one priority, he had been slowly relaxing with Damian yet as soon as he wasn’t disoriented he fled. What does that say about how he thinks they’ll treat him? What does it say about Bruce that Damain felt he could better protect his twin alone?

Bruce forces himself to reach for his comms and connects to the main comm line they use for patrols. “Everyone, change of plans, keep your eyes open for both boys. They fled from the cave in the Batmobile, hail the line immediately if they’re sighted, I don’t expect Robin to linger once it stops.” Bruce internally curses at himself that he didn’t think to have some sort of code for his youngest. He’s known for creating contingency plans for his contingency plans, yet he is not prepared for this. He could’ve never prepared himself for the knowledge he had not one blood son but two, twins. He couldn’t be too revealing incase someone was listening. “We’re in pursuit of the Batmobile now. Remember the boys are both League trained, Robin likely will have some tricks he’ll play.. The boy’s full capabilities are still unknown and he is heavily injured, proceed with caution, the boy is likely running on instinct, resistance is expected. We want to avoid making them feel cornered.” His tone is tight with worry, He doesn’t blame Danyal for being suspicious. He may be their father, but as far as he knows it wouldn’t be safe. Well, Bruce can’t blame either of them, they’re children, his children. He will blame their mother though. “We want them to get them home safe with no further injuries.” 

Some very distant part of him is proud of Damian for unequivocally having his brother’s back, if only they could bond over things that didn’t shave years off his life. Bruce has never been more stressed. Some day soon he’ll just have to embrace the grey that was sprouting in his black hair and give Alfred relief from helping him hide them.

“Copy that B-man! Our eyes are peeled!” Spoiler responds “I’m currently in Burnley, Orphan’s got Somerset covered and Signal is in Old Gotham! If they’re out here we’ll find them.”

“From what Oracle sent, I think I should be able to pick something up with my powers, I’ll keep trying while we move, B.” Signal pipes in.

“Thank you Signal.” Bruce is flooded with relief. He really is lucky to have them, there’s no one else he’d rather have at his back. They’ve all grown into their own. He tries not to sigh. 

Discovering the twins missing had sent them scrambling, even Jason had looked worried and tucked away his instinct to question him or to argue, his second son had simply followed them down to the cave. At this rate he may get an ulcer. He had felt panic steal his critical thinking, as he led his boys south towards where the Batmoblie was speeding away faster than they could grapple. He had to find them. Gotham isn’t safe at night and Danyal’s movements will be restricted if he deems it important not to rip his stitches. 

Moving through the air usually calmed him but tonight grappling wasn’t moving him around fast enough. Taking the Batmobile was smart of his sons, he begrudgingly had to admit, not only was it faster, the boys would be hidden inside. If Robin had driven his bike he’d have superior maneuverability even though Batman could’ve followed them faster, but if the boys had impacted something during a high speed chase to flee? They’d both be thrown. Danyal is already severely injured anything additional.. Bruce couldn’t make himself focus on that. 

His Trouble Twins probably planned it this way to slow them down. To throw them off their tracks. It was working, the boys had a 10 minute lead on their group. They’d left as soon as they had suited up but they still were too far out of reach. Away from the protective shadow of his cape. He couldn’t protect them now that they left the safety of the manor. Jason was cursing underneath him on the street racing past buildings on his bike, he was slightly ahead of Batman and Nightwing’s position in the air, on the bike next to him Tim was working with Barbara to try and get eyes on the boys. Quiet suggestions on what to look for. Shadows that move unnaturally, flashes of color there and gone, how they needed an algorithm up to analyze all of the feeds simultaneously. With the many cameras in Gotham-more than half Bruce had bought for the city to install- they wouldn’t be so hard to find. They shouldn't be so difficult to find, but Damian was particularly slippery when he put in the effort. Bruce glanced at his eldest besides him. 

Dick was one long string pulled too tight. He, of course, was still chatting happily with Barbara but his smile was strained at the edges, his movements too careful and precise. He hasn’t joked once. The possibility the man would snap increases the longer the twins are missing. It’s rare to see Dick outwardly expressing something other than the pure sunshine and patience. By the time Jason had come around he had curbed most of his bloodlust, it was a faint memory by the time Tim weaseled his way into their lives. It reminds Bruce too much of Brucie. The persona that he developed to hide from the vultures that would’ve taken everything from him as a child when tragedy struck. Before Bruce had decided to be active in Gotham’s social scene he knew it was better they underestimate poor orphaned Bruce Wayne. Brucie hid Batman, a shield to protect his family from those who would expose their secrets. He was necessary, even if Bruce felt suffocated most of the time. Was Dick hiding from him? 

He has to suppress a shutter. All his children to some degree, whether on or off the streets, have adapted to Batman’s mannerisms and habits. It was essential to survive facing the threats they do. Dick though fell more into Bruce’s habits. His eldest son, who with a smile looked after his siblings while Bruce was distracted by some crisis or another.They both often blamed themselves for things they couldn’t stop or foresee. That heavy invisible weight that sits on their shoulders because they claimed it. Bruce knows that he’s failed his children, Dick.. Dick in particular has had to step up on his behalf to smooth things over between family members. Forced to become another parent to the kids he brought home. It was never Dick’s responsibility and it’s taken time and a lot of effort but Bruce is making steps forward, trying to stop repeating the same mistakes. It was only Alfred’s guidance and help raising the boy that he excelled instead of crumbling under Bruce’s incompetence. Bruce was trying though. Even if it was hard to talk about casually, he was in therapy, it was.. Helping. He’s not putting so much of himself onto his children these days. He’s been processing his thoughts and feelings instead of bottling them inside and letting his anger rule him. 

Words though, they still escaped him on the best days. Today was shaping up into an absolutely horrible one. Bruce wanted to say something to reassure his sons that things would be okay. None sounded right. He let them choke him. If they could just find Danyal. As much as it would pain Bruce, his youngest doesn’t have to stay with them-with him. Bruce could never trap him here. He… He just wants Danyal to recover. Recover and be safe, whatever that looks like. The boy looked so small next to Damian. They’re twins and Danyal was so small on that bed next to his brother, all skin and bones, his skin stretched over his face making him look years older and the blood, oh God, it took a second but once they realized all that green was coming from inside of him, Bruce was sure they were going to be planning another funeral. The Y-shaped wound was gruesome and he had stared in shock. Another one of his children getting cut open, violated. Vivisected. He was going to mourn another child. He was going to puke. He was going to destroy those who dared to touch Danyal. A heady mix of vengeance and justice for a boy he’d never properly meet. Somehow though, the boy had stabilized. His boy, another one. He’s too old for surprise kids. Only to be spirited away by Damian behind layers and layers of traps that had made the family hesitate and then they were gone, on the run with Alfred’s careful stitches being the only thing holding Danyal together.   

What were they thinking? Why wasn’t I? Why didn’t I fight Damian harder when he locked them out of the recovery room? No…Danyal was already compromised. Damian saw this and ran from his family because he didn’t trust them to protect Danyal, didn’t trust them not to set him off. Maybe they would’ve made it worse, maybe his son was right even if Bruce didn’t want to admit it. Damian was saving them from an error. The boy who he had only met unconscious or through a screen, would’ve lashed out at himself again and they would’ve caused his-

“B? The Batmobile’s tracker has stopped moving on the edge of Burnside near the Craig Bridge. I can’t get a clear view.” Oracle reports 

“Hn.” He adjusts his trajectory and his sons follow suit, adjusting their positions to be out behind him in a V-shaped formation. If someone were to see them at this hour they’d see the vigilantes and would draw parallels between them and their namesakes, in normal circumstances it might bring a ghost of a smile across his face, they were a mixed bag flock. His flock. His family. He was thankful to have them at his back tonight. They’d find the boys, they had to. They still had nothing on the threat that was nipping at Danyal’s heels. If they were caught…

“Why would the Demon Brats go there?” Jason grumbles. They’re three blocks away now so Bruce has to fight his nausea down. They might have to subdue the boys if they won’t listen to reason. The idea of injuring Danyal further or obliterating any chance to build a relationship because he sees them as a threat rather than family. He has to stay firm though. He might have not been allowed in the room but between Alfred’s worried fretting and the security feed Bruce is very aware how Danyal shouldn’t be moving let alone going on the run with Damian. If Danyal would just let him explain he had options maybe he’d come back on his own.

“Hood, Red Robin, hang back and spread out. Start searching. I’d like to have our newest addition to Agent A within the hour. Nightwing with me.”

His grapple connects to the next roof and he leans into the arc so his path can wrap around the corner. Just ahead the Batmobile is stopped. The doors were open, no signs of the boys or of a struggle. Bruce knows they won’t find anything inside the Batmobile, Damian is efficient and clean in his work, but they look anyway. Bruce shares a look with his oldest and sighs. 

“Nothing in the Batmobile, Hood, Red Robin, report.” He shoots his grapple at the closest roof to get a better view of the surrounding area, Nightwing follows closely behind him. 

“Nothing that I can see.” Hood grunts.

“Nothing here either, no alerts from the cameras.” Red Robin sounds frustrated, “You don’t think they bailed in a dead zone, do you? Robin wouldn’t have him jump from a speeding vehicle, right?” 

“Hn.” Bruce refuses to acknowledge that thought. Even if it was a likely option, if they felt it necessary to throw them off to that degree. Dick is quiet next to him. He wants to say the right thing to ease his worries. Bruce has never been good at finding the right words, to reassure without false promises but will always try, “We’ll figure out what happened, Chum.”

Dick looks at him for a long moment. Bruce lets him and tries not to shutter himself away. Dick needs Bruce more than Batman right now. “Yeah,” It comes out grim, “before or after my youngest brother reopens something?” 

Bruce squeezes his son’s shoulder before turning away and shoots his grapple at the next roof. Right before he jumps he says, “We can only hope the boys are being careful and try our best to find them.”

[crazyk-imagine]

The Good, The Bad, and The Working on It Prequel

Pairing: (Future Stepdad) Jake “Hangman” Seresin x Mom!Reader  

Characters: (Future Stepdad) Jake “Hangman” Seresin, Mom!Reader, Penny Benjamin, Bradley “Rooster” Bradshaw, Pete “Maverick” Mitchell, Natasha “Phoenix” Trace, Javy “Coyote” Machado, Cody and Marty (bartenders)

Briefly mentioned: Amelia Benjamin, Maryanne and Edwin (the kiddos), Robert “Bob” Floyd

Warnings: Mentions of alcohol, mentions of past issues with the other parent, brief thoughts of harm coming to a person, Edwin is a mama’s boy

Word Count: 3,080

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You sigh, your social battery is running low. You feel like you’ve been at the hard deck for hours when it’s only been, maybe two. You don’t want to look at the clock and get annoyed when you see what time it is. 

It’s just one of those days when all you want to do is go home and take a nap with the kids (even though your girl, Maryanne probably wouldn’t stay still long enough to enjoy a nap). You know for a fact your boy, Edwin would want nothing more than to nap with you (oh, how you love your mama’s boy). 

The door slams shut; howls of laughter fill the nearest corner. 

You take a deep breath and put on your best customer service smile and make sure your voice doesn’t waver, not wanting anyone to know how tired you are. As you refill another customer's drink, you glance around the room not letting your smile fall. ‘The pilots are here. Great.’  

Penny stands beside you, also watching the group pilots. “You ready for the next rush?” she asks. 

“As ready as I can be, Penny my dear.” 

“Someone’s tired.” 

“What does that mean?” 

“You only use that nickname when you’re tired. Do you want to take your break now?” 

You turn to her, “and leave you alone? No, I’d rather not have feeling bad checked off on what I feel today.” 

“It won’t be that bad. Plus, we have Marty and Cody working again which is why,” she leans closer to you, whispering, “we haven’t had to do any of the heavy lifting.” 

That gets you to crack a smile. “Okay, okay. After they get their drinks, I’ll head into the back and start doing inventory, yeah?” 

“That’s not a break.” 

“It could be considered a break to some.” 

“I’m not a part of that group.” 

“Obviously.” 

“Ladies.” You two turn to see Penny’s boy toy (you like to tease her from time to time), Pete sitting there with a smile stretching across his lips. 

“Pete.” “Pete.” The two of you say with two obvious tones. 

“Penny,” he nods before glancing over at you. “You doing, okay?” 

You sigh, throwing the rag on the bar top. “Why does everybody keep asking me that? I’m fine. I’m good. I’m here, aren’t I?” 

“Okay, okay. I won’t ask again. How are the-” 

“A round of beers and a soda.” 

“With beer nuts!” 

“And a thing of beer nuts, thanks,” the blond orders without looking up from his phone.

You tilt your head, not appreciating his tone and look over at Penny, nodding your head at him. 

She gestures for you to take care of him as a customer calls her over by name. 

You pat the edge of the bar top, “I’ll get your drink in a second, Pete. I gotta take care of this real quick.” 

“Take your time, I’ve got all night.” 

You smile, grabbing the beers, setting them on the counter in front of the blond. “Date night, is it?” 

“Maybe.” 

“Don’t keep her out too late. You know, Penny will be off in Pete land that she forgets to actually text Amelia and I’m the go to information person when you two are out.” 

“Don’t worry, tonight will be movie night with my two girls.” 

You set the beer nuts beside the drinks and smile at Pete. “Aw, that’s too cute but how are you gonna pick a movie? You know Penny likes those action movies while Amelia prefers something with a little more comedy.” 

“That’s why I’ll be out getting dinner.” 

“Oh,” you chuckle through your nose, “so, you’re gonna let the two hash it out.” 

“I wouldn’t phrase it like that.” 

“That’s exactly what you’re doing.” You turn back to the occupied pilot in front of you. “Excuse me?” 

He hums. 

“I’d prefer it if you actually looked at me when I'm talking to you.” 

He lifts his head and loses his breath (which you don’t know). “Well,” he smirks, preparing to lay his charm on you. 

“No,” you shake your head. “Don’t try that, it won’t work. Is this going on a tab or am I taking your money now?” 

“Straight to the point.” He gulps, a nervous smile takes place, all confidence he had a second ago disappeared. “I- I’ll do a tab.” 

“Name?” 

“Jake.” 

“Hangman, hurry up man!” 

“Or Hangman, I take it?” You glance up at him through your lashes. 

He nods, “it’s a likely possibility.” 

“Better take your drinks and snacks over there before your friends get too rowdy.” 

“Right.” He grabs all the drinks and works and holding the beer nuts (for Bob). “Thanks again.” 

“Yep.” You serve a small group of people before pouring Pete his drink. “You got something you want to say Pete?” 

-

Jake glances over at the bar, not looking for anyone in particular (lie) and his gaze happens to fall on you. 

He watches as you and Pete talk, wondering how you know his former teacher. 

-

“Me? No,” he shakes his head, “no.” 

“Sure, you don’t.” 

“I- are you sure you’re, okay?” 

“Honestly?” 

“I’d prefer it and I think it would be good for you.” 

“It’s that time.” 

“Time for?” 

“The time he decided he didn’t want to be a part of our life anymore, when he walked out on us.” 

“Oh, why didn’t you say anything?” 

-

Jake may not know you, but he does want to, so he can make sure you don’t look this upset again (if only he knew what the future entailed). 

-

“I’m not going to make my pity party anybody’s business.” 

“It’s not a pity party, you know you have a right to be upset.” 

“I do but I also feel like I should have moved on from this. It’s been- what, six- almost seven years now?” 

“Grief and heartache don’t heal fast enough for everyone.” 

You close your eyes, pinching the bridge of your nose, “I’m sorry. I didn’t think-” 

“It’s okay. It’s okay. I mean I still miss them, and our situations may be different but what we feel is the same. You just gotta take your time. No one will judge you for that.” 

You chuckle, wiping the corner of your eyes. “When did you get so wise?” 

“I didn’t. I just remember a lot of words.” 

“And Penny wonders why I worry about the two of you?” 

“Now that was uncalled for.” 

“But I’m not wrong.” You breathe out a deep sigh, “thank you, Pete.” 

He nods, lifting his drink to take a sip. 

You close your eyes, taking a few seconds to gather yourself enough to pass by the customers. You pat Cody’s arm, telling him to take over while you do inventory. 

-

“You can do this,” you whisper to yourself. “You can do this.” 

You grab the clipboard off the desk and start your new task. 

-

“Bars closing in an hour,” Marty informs you as he grabs a box of liquor. “Okay- wait- wait- how much of that do we have left?” 

“I think this is the last of it.” 

“Thank you!” 

“No problem.” 

You set the clipboard back onto Penny’s desk and exit the back room. 

-

“Hey, Peggy Sue.” 

Penny shakes her head, “you’re never going to give up with that nickname, are you?” She sets the clean glass back in its proper place. 

You shake your head, “never.” 

“Alright then.” 

“If you want to leave early, you can. I’ve got this.” 

“Are you sure?” She glances over at the clock. 

“It’s only gonna be roughly fourth five minutes before you need to leave. I can ever lock up.” 

“Are you sure? You’ll be completely alone.” 

You nod, “I got this.” 

“Thank you, my dear.” She comes around the bar, hugging you tightly. “Thank you.” 

You chuckle, awkwardly patting her arm, “go, go. You’ll have fun and that’s all that matters.” 

“You swear you don’t have to go home early? Mary and Eddie are doing alright?” 

“They’re fine. Maryanne is at a friend’s house for a sleepover, all set to be picked up in the morning and Edwin is at home with the babysitter.” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay?” 

“I’m going. I’m going.” 

-

You double check the doors, make sure the tables and bar are wiped down, the information for the next order is ready. 

“All set,” you whisper. “Time to lock up and hit the road.” You grab your purse and pull out your keys while you hum “hit the road jack”. 

There’s the click and you set the work keys back in your purse. 

The gravel crunching beneath the stranger’s shoes puts you on high alert. You place your keys between your fingers. “Whoever it is, you should know to turn around and go back where you came from before you get an ass kicking.” 

“Uh- shit- I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to alarm you or anything.” 

You turn around to find the cocky pilot. 

“I just- I felt I should apologize for the way I acted earlier. I shouldn’t have done that. Lord knows I was taught better than that.” 

“And you thought waiting until it was late at night, waiting for who knows how long to apologize.” 

“Who’s to say I didn’t want to wait until her next shift to talk to a pretty lady?” 

Your brows rise slightly, “oh?” 

“Could I- would it be alright if I asked for your number?” 

“You sure move fast, don’t you?” 

He straightens his posture. “I didn’t hear a no.” 

“I guess you didn’t but, how do I know you won’t send me graphic and inappropriate pictures?” 

“I won’t send you anything you wouldn’t enjoy.” 

You gasp, throwing your head break as you chuckle. 

He finds himself smiling, feeling better now than he did before. 

“If I give you my number, do you promise not to stalk me?” 

“I was gonna ask the same thing.” 

“Okay, jokester. Give me your phone.” You hold your hand out for him to set his phone in your hand. 

“Woah, hey now.” 

“What?”

“We’ve just met. How do I know you won’t run off with my phone the second you get it?” 

“Do I look like the kind of person to do that?” 

He shrugs, “no, but you never know.” 

“Okay,” you pull your phone out of your pocket, “we trade on the count of three. We say one, two, three then we trade. Got it?” 

“Got it.” 

“One. Two. Three.” 

You return the others phone almost as fast as you got them. 

“Jake?” 

“Yep.” 

The corners of your mouth twitch slightly, tugging upwards hard enough for someone to tell if you’re smiling unless they were looking at you (which he was). “Cute but I don’t think it fits with your whole “cocky, I could careless” attitude.” 

He chuckles, rubbing the back of his neck, “you caught that.” 

“Mm-hmm, kind of hard not to.” 

“Right,” he mutters, averting his gaze from yours. 

You’ve seen him around the bar, honestly all the pilots but more so him but he usually has some random woman around his arm, and it’s never been the same one. 

“Are you okay?” You ask with a concerned tone. 

“What?” Your question catches him off guard. 

“Are you okay?” 

“I,” he pauses, trying to come up with an answer maybe the same answer he’s been giving everyone, but he doesn’t want to lie to you. “Why do you ask?” 

“You seemed distracted today and there was no young thing hanging off your arm, giggling at everything you say.” 

One corner of his lips tugs upwards. “Didn’t realize you noticed about me.” 

You tilt your head, staring at him with a raised brow (giving him the “mom” look like Maryanne says), “that’s not an answer.” 

“Is pass an option?” 

You sigh, “if you don’t want to answer the question that’s fine but I need to-” 

“No, no. I’m sorry. I- I did have a “date”,” he says with a grimaced expression. “But they had to cancel which felt like a huge relief and I’ve never felt that way. Ever. I just- I also haven’t felt like this...” 

“Let me guess, ever?” 

He nods, chuckling, “yep.” 

“Can I ask you something without you getting upset?” 

“Fire away.” The nickname sweetheart sits on the tip of his tongue. 

“How do you do it?” 

“Do what?” 

“Go out with a bunch of different women whenever you’re back here. I mean- I thought- wouldn't you want to be with one person who could support you and be there for you whenever. You know you would have someone who knows who well enough to help you after you come home from a- a mission whether it was a good one or a bad one. You wouldn’t have to ask because you’d already have that support. I- uh- I just realized I'm rambling about something that is not my business. I’m sorry.” 

Jake shakes his head, “no, no. It’s okay. Honestly, it’s kind of refreshing. No one’s asked me before. I- sometimes I do think about that, but I don’t think it’s going to happen for me.” 

You furrow your brows, “why?” 

“Have you met me? All people see is the asshole Hangman who leaves his teammates behind. Why would that guy find someone to be by his side?” 

“Has anyone else seen the other parts of you or are you so programmed to be an asshole that you can’t?” 

He says nothing. 

Your phone buzzes, you turn it on to find that Maryanne asking if you’re home yet because Edwin stole the babysitter’s phone to call her asking the same question. He’s not going to sleep until your home. 

“I’m gonna take it that your silence means you’re so programmed to be an asshole which sucks but if you try to be less of that “Hangman asshole” maybe you’d find something unexpected. I also have to go. Keep this conversation in mind, alright? Later, Jake.” 

He nods, watching as you run to your car, hair swaying side to side. 

After your car exits the parking lot, he realizes he’s alone... again and heads to his own car, making his way home. 

-

Therapist Bartender 

Ik you didn’t ask but I made it home 2:46am Sent Read 

You throw your head back against the pillows, finding yourself cringing at your text until the dimming light becomes bright again. 

Jake (From the Bar) 

I was going to ask but looks like you beat me to it 2:46am Sent Read 

You don’t realize it but you’re smiling as you text him, the same goes for Jake. 

Therapist Bartender 

Guess I’m in your head… oh and there are the provocative pictures 2:48am Sent Read 

Jake (From the Bar) 

You think you’re funny, don’t you? 2:49am Sent Read 

Therapist Bartender 

*Shrug woman emoji* I try 2:49am Sent Read  

Therapist Bartender 

Am I making your night better with my terrible humor? 2:50am Sent Read  

Jake (From the Bar) 

You have no idea 2:51am Sent Read 

You cover your mouth when you yawn, you’re so tired but you don’t want to stop talking to him. You can’t fight it anymore. 

Therapist Bartender 

I’m gonna have to put this on pause or else you’ll be talking to a sleeping person lol 2:55am Sent Read  

Jake (From the Bar) 

If we must 2:55am Sent Read 

Jake (From the Bar) 

Goodnight sweetheart 2:57am Sent Read 

-

The next night Jake and the others come into the hard deck for some fun, none of them have a mission coming up soon so they figured why not actually enjoy the night and drink until they can’t anymore at their favorite bar. 

-

“How was the sleepover?” asks Penny. 

“Maryanne had a blast,” you answer with a smile. 

No one quite knows what’s happened to you, but no one is certainly going to question it. 

“That’s good to hear. I know you were a little out of it and were worried how she was going to be. Believe it or not, I was the same way with Amelia.” 

“I’m gonna with or not.” 

“Oh, don’t be like that.” 

You laugh as you move towards the end of the bar, serving a customer. 

-

Jake offers to get the first round of drinks. 

-

He starts walking towards the bar, spotting you almost immediately. 

You offer a wave with a small smile. 

He waves back and almost bumps into someone right after. 

You cover your mouth, not wanting him to see. 

He shakes his head; you know he sees you “trying” not to laugh at him but neither of you care. “Hey,” you greet, leaning on the bar top. 

“Hey back to you.” 

“You gonna order something?” 

“Is staring at the therapist bartender not on the menu tonight?” 

You scoff, “flirting will get you nowhere.” 

-

Natasha smacks Javy’s arm. 

“What?” He asks, rubbing his arm. 

“When did he get close with the bartender?” 

“I- oh. Oh,” Javy starts chuckling. 

“What?” 

“I don’t know they got close, but it looks like he’s got a crush.” 

“Are you serious?” She asks with a smirk stretching across her lips. 

“Big time.” 

“How much you wanna bet?” 

“Not now,” he shakes his head. 

She tilts her head and furrows her brows, “why not now?” 

“He won’t make a move for a long time.” 

She shakes her head, lining up her shot. “I may not be betting on Bagman, but I just made fifty off your dumbass.” 

“That’s cheating!” 

“It’s not cheating if I play by the rules.” 

Javy narrows his eyes at her. “Double or nothing.” 

“You’re on.” 

-

“I think flirting is giving me all that I want.” 

“And what’s that, Jake from the bar?” 

“A few more seconds to talk to you.” 

You click your tongue, “you’re good I’ll give you that. A round of beers plus a soda and beer nuts, right?” 

“You remembered. Does this mean I’m your favorite?” 

You shake your head, “no.” 

He grabs the order, “you’re breakin’ my heart, sweetheart.” 

“Have fun, Jake.” 

He walks away with a satisfied smile on his face. 

Penny stands beside you with her hands on her hips, “what was that?” 

“That was nothing.” 

“That was not nothing.” 

“I work to do. Bye Penny!” You move to the end of the bar as quick as you can, catching Jake’s eye. 

He raises his beer to you; you nod and resume with your previous activities. 

-

“When’s the wedding?” Bradley asks. 

“I’m not listening to you, Chicken.” 

The pilots chuckle, knowing full well that Jake “Hangman” Seresin is completely smitten with you.

-

Next

TGTBATWOI Master List

-

Taglist: @abaker74​ @ebonyhogan24 @shanimallina87 @starkleila​ @kurtkunkle17

[cartoonfanaticmonsterrobotalien]

Solar Opposites: Unleashed Episode #13: “Out of Control Pt. 2”

The family gasp upon seeing Gorgon Monica as she smiles and hugs them.

Yumyulack: Wow. I am so surprise to see you have full control.

Gorgon Monica: Aw thanks guys. But I wonder the same thing. Oh well. Just glad to see you guys alright.

Korvo: Us too! But where are Jesse and Stacy G?!

Gorgon Monica: Oh no! I think they’re still in the woods! We have to go after them!

Terry: Got it. But first...

He looks at the bus and grins.

AISHA: Terry? You better not be thinking of a stupid idea!

Terry: Into the bus guys! Come on!

Korvo: Come on!

The family head into the bus. Then, Terry gets on the driver’s seat, put his hands on the wheels and drives the bus into the woods as it could. Terry laughs in joy as it made it the woods, the other even got excited but then.

Sonya: That was awesome daddy!

Terry: That felt fucking great!

Yumyulack: Awesome! It was like Hot Wheels!

Korvo grows seductively and decided to smitten Terry seductively.

Terry: Oh-ho-Ho. Korvy, what you doing there baby?

Korvo: seductively I think you know what I'm doing you brave stud.

Terry: realizing Korvo is doing Oh-Ho-Ho. Bring it in yo big damn dirty beautiful slut.

The two alien husbands kiss and moan lovingly

Yumyulack: Ugh! Oh my God! That is so fucking gross!

Sonya: Aww. Eeew. Nasty!

Suddenly, Jesse’s moans are heard in the woods.

Terry and Korvo: Huh?

Yumyulack: What the? Sis?

Sonya: Jesse?

Suddenly...

Terry sees Jesse moaning in pain as she grew little bit more a which made a torn crack tag the back her dress and her voice starts to deepen.

Korvo: gasp Oh shit! Jesse!

Terry: I got this!

Terry heads out the door and runs to his daughter.

Terry: JESSE! DADDY’S COMING!

Jesse: No! Get away!

Jesse groans as she feels a sharp pain in her head. Ruby then sees her and tries to get her spike monster serum.

Ruby: Okay, let’s do this… this is for you mama…

But then, Stacy G sees her and pummels Ruby as it the serum spills on her head as she groans. Suddenly, Stacy G notice her fingertips turning black as she suddenly starts growing bigger and muscular and spikes pop out from her back. Ruby gasps.

Stacy G: Ugh! hairs turns into magenta spikes as her clothes tear to shreds and a tail pops out as he eyes starts glowing What the fuck is happening to voice deepens MMMMMEEEEEE!

Now a Spike Monster, Stacy G roars as she collapse into a concussion. Jesse gasp and something in her snaps.

Jesse: GGGGGRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!

Terry: Oh no Jesse!

The family then runs out the bus as Sonya runs to Jesse.

Sonya: Jesse! No! Don’t!

Jesse snaps and slaps Sonya away as Sonya starts crying over her sister

Yumyulack runs to comfort Sonya.

Yumyulack: Oh no. Hey. It’s gonna be okay Sonya.

Sonya: I want my sister back. cries

Korvo: JESSE!

Jesse growls as her skin fully becomes black, she finishes growing bigger and muscular as her clothes into pieces along with her shoes and then she grew boobs Yumyulack blushes at the sight of Jesse’s boobs.

Yumyulack: Holy shit! Let me touch those tities! Sonya looks at him annoyed Uh I mean who cares. That’s lame

Korvo: Oh my God. Terry, Jesse is half Mundane. Like you!

Terry gasp in horror.

Terry: No...

Now a Mundane, Jesse roars while banging her first. She then grabs Ruby and throws to the lake.

Phoebe MacCarthy: Oh my God! Jesse!

Terry: starts crying Jesse?

Yumyulack and Sonya: JESSE!

Korvo: JESSE! NO!

Mundane Jesse ignores them as she has lost her sanity. Mundane Jesse roars and throws a bark at Korvo, Yumyulack and Sonya as Terry breaks down over his daughter becoming a Mundane.

Terry: JESSE! DON'T LEAVE ME PLEASE!

Mundane Jesse roars as Terry continues to cry over his sweet baby girl. Mundane Jesse then sees Ruby trying to get her crossbow but then she throws her to the log as Ruby moans.

Sonya: Jesse!

Pupa: No! Jesse! Stop!

Korvo has an idea.

Korvo: Terry! Soothe her! Remember the teddy Jesse used to have when she was a baby? Do you still have it?!

Terry: sniffs Yeah...

Korvo: Use it to calm Jesse down! Hurry! She needs her daddy!

Terry wipes away his tears and pulls out the teddy bear. Mundane Jesse roars and Terry runs up to her in tears of desperate papa wolf instincts. Terry turns into his Mundane form. Mundane Jess growls as she snarls at Mundane Terry.

Mundane Jesse: ROAR!

Mundane Terry: JESSE!

Mundane Jesse snarls as Mundane Terry squeaks the teddy bear.

Mundane Terry: Remember this honey? It’s your favorite teddy bear when you were a wee baby. You love it when I squeak it. And when you get sad, I would always bring it to cheer you up because you love how it squeak.

Mundane Jesse gasps

Mundane Terry: Yeah. That’s right. Just calm down and we can get you back on the bus. Come on Jesse-bear…

Mundane Jesse takes the teddy bear and squeezes it as she giggles. Mundane Terry smiles as Mundane Jesse starts to grow sleepy. He then picks her up and takes her back to the bus to hide her. Terry then turns back into his normal self and watches as Mundane Jesse turns back into her normal self and drops the teddy bear. Terry smiles and puts a blanket on Jesse as she falls asleep. Terry smiled and kiss Jesse on the forehead. Then, Korvo hears the she-Godzilla roar.

Sonya: Uh oh…

Korvo: We gotta stop her!

Terry: Alright, you guys go and stop the monster. I’ll watch Jesse!

Yumyulack: eyes glow purple Right!

Korvo then starts growing bigger and muscular as his skin turns black. Then, his clothes rip into shreds after he stretches his back and his wings and horns pop out as he moans in pleasure. His eyes then glow aquamarine as he roars.

Super Shlorpian Korvo: Mmm...yeah...

Then, Yumyulack roars and then his skin turns black as he grows bigger and muscular while his skin turns black. Then his clothes into shreds as he roars once his horns and wings appear as he growls.

Super Shlorpian Yumyulack: Hell yeah! Let's go!

Thank Sonya growls her skin turns into mermaid sparkle ice cream colors. Then, she grows bigger and muscular her clothes into shreds. Then, her hair becomes tentacles, her legs become three kraken tentacles and her voice deepens as she roars and snarls. Super Shlorpian Korvo pats were-kraken Sonya on the head as she calms down and purrs. Were-Kraken Sonya giggles.

Super Shlorpian Korvo: Come on! We got a Godzilla’s ass to kick! Phoebe, keep on eye on Jesse with Terry!

Phoebe MacCarthy: Got it.

Super Shlorpian Korvo then roars as he, Super Shlorpian Yumyulack and were-kraken Sonya head to stop the Godzilla. After they left, Pupa starts crying as he pats Jesse’s face.

Terry: It's okay, Pupa.

Pupa: crying Jesse…

Then, suddenly Jesse starts having whimpering in her sleep. Terry rubs Jesse's forehead. But then, she suddenly starts snarling and breathing in and out in fear as she starts having nightmare visions of life back on Shlorp when people taunt her father as she starts turn black and grows bigger and muscular again, but this time her bow falls off. Terry gasps.

Jesse: No! No! wakes up as her eyes starts glowing pink as well the inside of her mouth NNNNNOOOOOO!

Terry: Jesse?

Mundane Jesse roars once her she grew boobs, but then she looks at her reflection and gasp.

Mundane Jesse: Are these tits?!

But then, she grows horrified by her monster appearance.

Terry: Jesse, it's okay

Mundane Jesse: T-Terry? What happened to me?

Terry: You’re half Mundane sweetie! You inherited this form like me!

Mundane Jesse gasps.

Mundane Jesse: What? No no! I hurted you guys didn’t I? starts crying

Terry soothes Mundane Jesse's face.

Mundane Jesse: sobbing I-I I’m so sorry! breaks down in tears

Terry: Sssh...ssh...no one is hurt. It's okay.

Mundane Jesse continues crying. Then, Terry sees the teddy bear and squeaks to calm down his daughter. Terry then gives Mundane Jesse the teddy bear as she squeals and sniffles.

Mundane Jesse: I remember this thing from when I was younger.

Terry: Yeah. You were just a baby. That thing would always calm you down when you start crying.

Mundane Jesse giggles.

Terry: whistles a lullaby as Jesse falls asleep

Then, Terry turns into his Mundane form as he snuggles with Mundane Jesse..

Mundane Terry: Sweet dreams Jesse-bear…

Meanwhile... Were-Kraken Sonya then sees the Godzilla monster.

Super Shlorpian Yumyulack: See you anything?

Were-Kraken Sonya: Guys! Look! I found the monster!

Super Shlorpian Korvo: Good! Let’s fuck her up kids!

Super Shlorpian Yumyulack: Oh HELL YEAH! LET’S GET IT ON!

The three monsters head up to the Godzilla monster as Super Shlorpian Korvo land son the-Godzilla’s face

Super Shlorpian Korvo: Hey, bitch!

The she-Godzilla snarls

Super Shlorpian Korvo: I don’t know who you are but you are gonna pay for…

Suddenly, Super Shlorpian Korvo looks up and notices a Bowinian hood on the monster’s face. He gasp.

Super Shlorpian Korvo: A Bowinian? How is this…

He then looks closely at the Bowinian’s eyes and gasp in horror.

Super Shlorpian Korvo: Sisto?!

The Godzilla revealed as Sister Sisto looks at Super Shlorpian Korvo darkly.

Godzilla Sisto: Hello Korey…

Super Shlorpian Yumyulack and Were-Kraken Sonya gasp in horror and shock.

Godzilla Sisto: Or should I say…Korvo?

Super Shlorpian Korvo: gasp Oh my God! It is you! It’s impossible! You were dead!

Godzilla Sisto laughs like a maniac.

Godzilla Sisto: Isn’t obvious?! During your rescue for that hillbilly violent nanny of yours, Mark Baine brought me back to life before he was killed by the destruction of his building that Mutant Zombie boyfriend of that pathetic son of yours! What he didn’t know that after I escape, I can turn back! I was finally revived! More powerful than ever!

Super Shlorpian Korvo growls.

Super Shlorpian Korvo: You bitch! Cherie and Nova was right about they said about you when I first them! You’re a fucking psycho!

Godzilla Sisto: Oh whatever! Prepare to die!

Godzilla fires her breath at Super Shlorpian Korvo who ducks and flies up as he he goes mega and roars. He then moans in pleasure while touching his body.

Mega Super Shlorpian Korvo: Fuck…I love this power. It’s like it’s welling up inside me.

Godzilla Sisto: Oh God! That is great! You fucking aliens are fucking disgusting!

Mega Super Shlorpian Korvo chuckles.

Mega Super Shlorpian Korvo: Actually! Have this! blows ice breath at Godzilla Sisto, who dodged it

Godzilla Sisto: Is that really the best you-

Sisto then gets bunch by Were-Kraken Sonya, has became mega as she shoots her laser eyes at Godzilla Sidto, who growls and dodges it.

Godzilla Sisto: Grrr! Little Brat!

Mega Super Shlorpian Korvo: That’s my girl!

Were-Kraken Sonya giggles as she uses her body armor and fights Sisto while Super Shlorpain Yumyulack grows mega and grabs Godzilla Sisto. Meanwhile back with Mundane Terry, he hears weeping and notices tears in Mundane Jesse’s eyes as she cries in her sleep.

Mundane Terry sings “Fast Car” by Luke Combs:

[Mundane Terry]

You got a fast car

And I want a ticket to anywhere

Maybe we make a deal

Maybe together we can get somewhere

Any place is better

Starting from zero, got nothing to lose

Maybe we'll make something

Me, myself, I got nothing to prove

You got a fast car

I got a plan to get us out of here

I've been working at the convenience store

Managed to save just a little bit of money

Won't have to drive too far

Just across the border and into the city

You and I can both get jobs

Finally, see what it means to be living

See, my old man's got a problem

He live with the bottle, that's the way it is

He says his body's too old for working

His body's too young to look like his

Mama went off and left him

She wanted more from life than he could give

I said, "Somebody's got to take care of him"

So, I quit school and that's what I did

You got a fast car

Is it fast enough so we can fly away?

Still gotta make a decision

Leave tonight, or live and die this way

So, I remember when we were driving, driving in your car

Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk

City lights lay out before us

And your arm felt nice wrapped around my shoulder

And I, I, I had a feeling that I belonged

I, I, I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car

We go cruising, entertain ourselves

You still ain't got a job

So I work in a market as a checkout girl

I know things will get better

You'll find work and I'll get promoted

We'll move out of the shelter

Buy a bigger house, live in the suburbs

So, I remember when we were driving, driving in your car

Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk

City lights lay out before us

And your arm felt nice wrapped around my shoulder

And I, I, I had a feeling that I belonged

I, I, I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car

I got a job that pays all our bills

You stay out drinking late at the bar

See more of your friends than you do of your kids

I'd always hoped for better

Thought maybe together you and me would find it

I got no plans, I ain't going nowhere

Take your fast car and keep on driving

So, I remember when we were driving, driving in your car

Speed so fast, I felt like I was drunk

City lights lay out before us

And your arm felt nice wrapped around my shoulder

And I, I, I had a feeling that I belonged

I, I, I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone

You got a fast car

Is it fast enough, so you can fly away?

You still gotta make a decision

Leave tonight, or live and die this way

Mundane Jesse opens her eyes and smiles

Mundane Terry: See? There’s my sweet Jesse-bear… were you feeling scared?

Mundane Jesse whimpers and nods.

Mundane Jesse: Yes and because… I’m scared of growing up and losing you guys ever since the Stacies picked on me ever since epidemic… started… breaks down in tears Please daddy… don’t leave me… crying

Mundane Terry: Hey hey hey. Woah woah woah. Where’s that coming from?

Mundane Jesse: whimpering Because… the Stacies… says I’m a freak and always will be… I’m even scared of losing the ones I love by them not loving me anymore… I’m so scared… I’m just a weak teenage replicant… breaks down in tears

Mundane Terry sighs.

Mundane Terry: Oh Jesse… shh… it’s okay daddy here… daddy’s not going anywhere… and that is not true… you’re strong… you’re smart… and you’re kind… you are my Jesse and always will be. You have a wonderful house. Wonderful dads. Wonderful siblings. A wonderful girlfriend. And wonderful friends. You are not alone Jesse. And you never will be. Because we love you no matter what…

Mundane Jesse: Oh daddy!

Mundane Jesse hugs Mundane Terry while crying. Mundane Terry smiles and hugs his daughter while soothing her and gives her a kiss on the cheek.

Meanwhile

Mega Super Shlorpian Yumyulack: Ugh! We need Terry!

Mega Super Shlorpian Korvo: Don’t worry! He’ll come! As long as we-

Godzilla Sisto sees Mundane Terry. But, luckily he sense her and pops out of the bus while growing mega.

Mega Mundane Terry: OOOOOHHH YESSSSS! SO MUCH POOOOOWWWEEERRR!

Now a mega Mundane, Terry roars as he pummels on Godzilla Sisto who roars and attacks him. Then, she grows mega as she roars.

Mega Godzilla Sisto: laughs maniacally That’s better! Now time for you to perish!

Mega Mundane Terry roars as Mega Godzilla Sisto wrestles. But then, he pummels him to the ground. Mundane Jesse wakes up and gasp after seeing her father in danger. She then grows determined as pink marks appear on her body.

Mundane Jesse: Time to go mega!

Mundane Jesse then grows even more bigger and muscular as she finishes becoming a mega Mundane and roars. Mega Mundane Terry gasps and smiles tearfully

Mega Were-Kraken Sonya and Super Shlorpian Yumyulack: Jesse?

Super Shlorpian Korvo gasp in joy.

Mega Mundane Jesse: STAY AWAY FROM MY FATHER!

Mega Godzilla Sisto growls and lunges fowards. Mega Mundane Jesse then uses her powers for the first time and make hot fizzling glowing pink rocks spewing from the ground as it hits Mega Godzilla Sisto who roars.

Mega Mundane Jesse: Yumyulack! Help me take her down!

Mega Super Shlorpian Yumyulack: On it!

Mega Super Shlorpian Yumyulack then uses his fire ice breath that causes to weaken as she retreats. The monster family cheers as Mega Super Shlorpian Korvo and Mega Mundane Terry embrace each other.

Godzilla Sisto: after shrinking back to he normal size WE’LL MEET AGAIN, SOLAR OPPOSITES!

Mega Super Shlorpian Korvo smirks as he returns to his normal size. Godzilla Sisto retreats as the monster family shrink back to their normal size.

Super Shlorpian Yumyulack: When she comes back, we’ll be ready for her.

Mundane Jesse: Woah. What a rush.

Were-Kraken Sonya: Yeah.

Then, Cherie, Pezlie, Montez, Janiz and Nova arrived as they meet up with their friends.

Cherie: Guys! You’re okay!

Mundane Terry: Yep! We managed to beat Sisto’s ass!

Nova: What?! She’s alive?!

Super Shlorpian Korvo: We’re afraid so.

Cherie: Well, will she still return?

Super Shlorpian Korvo: I’m afraid so. But if she does come back, we’ll be ready

Were-Kraken Sonya: Yeah!

Then an ambulance came as it took Stacy G, who is okay and back to normal to the hospital while Louise smiles and nods a thank you to Human Jesse for taking care of her daughter while Stacy G blows a kiss to Jesse. The ambulance with Stacy G inside takes her to the hospital while Human Jesse smiles, knowing her girlfriend is gonna be okay. The scene then cuts to back home where Jesse is starting to feel overwhelmed.

Jesse: Stacy G is in the hospital because of me. What kind of girlfriend am I?

Jesse moans in frustration as her eyes glow pink while she starts turning black as she cries out on pain and starts growing bigger and muscular as her dress and shoes rip apart into pieces and her bow falls off. She then grows massive boobs as she roars with tears of pain in her eyes.

Terry: Jesse is everything- gasp

Mundane Jesse is curled into a ball and sobbing.

Terry: Oh no… oh honey…

Terry turns into his Mundane form and walks over to Mundane Jesse.

Mundane Jesse: crying

Mundane Terry: Oh Jesse…

Mundane Terry starts soothing Mundane Jesse as she continues crying.

Mundane Terry: Ssh…ssh

Mundane Jesse weeps and chokes a sob while Mundane Terry squeaks Jesse’s teddy bear and smiles as he give it to Jesse who hugs it in tears

Mundane Jesse: Terry? Why does my Mundane form have boobs?

Mundane Terry: Hmm… it’s guess it’s because when you choose to be a girl, it have you these for female Mundanes

Mundane Jesse: My body looks mature in this form. Is it because I’m a girl?

Mundane Terry smiles.

Mundane Terry: Of course you are

Mundane Jesse laughs.

Mundane Terry: And you always be my little girl no matter what. Now matter how big you get, you’ll always be my little Jesse-bear…

Mundane Jesse: smiling in tears Thanks daddy.

Mundane Terry smiles as he and Mundane Jesse cuddle with each other. Mundane Terry then kiss Mundane Jesse on the forehead as they fall asleep.

The End

Special thanks to @avaveevo, @almar4121, @themagicwolf6677, @king-of-squishmallows and all of my watchers for their help, ideas and support

[emmymaehereeeeee]

Based on that one Austin vogue shoot, where he's sitting back with a drink in his hand. Kind of a post concert thing, Sugar Daddy Elvis has you start without him while he sits back and relaxes with a drink or cigarette as he watches you masturbate from across the room.

✨SUGAR DADDY ELVIS SUNDAY✨

You had been teasing Elvis all night long, rubbing up against him, pressing soft kisses everywhere but his face, wearing that tight little dress you know he loved. “What’s got you all riled up, sweetheart? Nerves?” You asked knowing damn well it was you. 

“Really lil’ mama, you’re gonna play that game?” Elvis replied, his jaw set harshly.

“What do you mean?” You laughed, a hand flying to your chest.

"Don't give me that shit. You know exactly what you've been doin' all night long and it ain't funny." He put his hands on his hips, glaring at you.

"I really don't know what you mean, love." You walked over and stood up on your tippy toes, pressing a kiss to his cheek while successfully grinding the front of your thighs up and then back down his length. Elvis let out a hiss, gripping both of your shoulders to hold you still while he took a deep breath, trying to keep his cool.

"Yo, EP!" The stage manager called out. "We need to get you on stage pronto!" Elvis sighed, shaking his head.

"I'll deal with you when I get back." He said as he leaned down and kissed your forehead, then ran out to follow the stage manager.

You made your way to your seat, watching him perform, his eyes were locked in on you. You could see what your teasing had done to him, hell everyone in the audience could see. This man’s cock was strained against his leather pants, he jerked his hips back and forth, and your stomach began to tighten. He started to dance across the stage, feeling his music deep in his bones, he thrusted up into the air looking you dead in the face. Your panties pooled with warm wetness, your face heated up, and you leaned on your elbow for support, chewing on your nail, trying to distract yourself from the tightening coil in your lower region.

Elvis smirked down at you, knowing exactly what he was doing. He played three more songs and then ended the show, waving goodbye to everyone before making his way off of the stage and back into his dressing room. You practically jumped out of your seat, running backstage to catch up with him. You walked down the long hallway to his dressing room, seeing that the door was already cracked, you decided to just walk in. 

"Hey! That was a great show!" You said, shutting the door behind you and locking it. Elvis was standing at his mini bar in the corner of the room, his back turned to you as he made himself a drink.

"Why don't you go ahead and take a seat, darlin'." He turned around to face you, slowly taking a sip from his rum and coke.

You sat down on the plush seat, playing with the hem of your dress. “You gonna fix me one?” You said jokingly, you didn’t like to drink but you were dying for anything to break the silence. Elvis took another sip of his drink and smiled at you. He didn’t say a word but he smiled at you. “You gonna say anything?” You asked, the humor in your voice slowly disappearing.

When Elvis continued to not say anything, you decided to just stay quiet, starting to pick at your nails to maybe ease the tension you felt. You could still feel his eyes on you, just looking at you with that dumb smirk on his face. "What do you want?'' You snapped, looking back at him.

Without responding, Elvis made his way over to the seat across from you, really taking his time to get comfortable. "You haven't been very nice to me tonight, baby doll." He mumbled, swirling around the dark liquid in his glass before taking another sip. "Bein' a little tease all night. Gettin' me all worked up before a show.." He tsked at you, gently shaking his head.

You bit down on your bottom lip, “You did really good tonight.” You said, avoiding eye contact. He tilted your chin up to meet his eyes. 

“Don’t think you can just get away with that, Doll. You’re gonna have to pay.” He smirked at you. “Take those panties and that dress off, want you to spread those legs for me, want to see my pussy.” He commanded you, and you listened to his orders, pulling off your dress and panties. 

“Did you want my bra off too?” You asked.

“Did I say you could talk?” He snapped. You snapped your mouth closed, sitting back in the chair and slowly spreading your legs. "Mhm, that's right. Now, I want you to start teasin' yourself. Do not cum until I tell you to. Don't make this any more difficult, do you understand?" He asked, wagging his finger at you. You only nodded in response, not wanting to anger him any further. You slid your hand up your thighs and straight to your pussy, slowly starting to rub your clit with your pointer finger. "Fuck, that's it. Good girl." Elvis praised, taking a sip of his drink while never taking his eyes off of you. You moved your middle finger to your clit as well, rubbing soft circles around it. You closed your eyes, picturing Elvis slamming into you, you sped up your pace, adding more pressure to your clit. “Open your eyes, pretty girl,” Elvis said, palming himself as he sipped on his drink. “Such a dirty little thing, getting me all worked up like that, that’s not what good girls do now is it?” You shook your head no, opening your eyes.

You bit down on your lip, seeing him touching himself seemed to encourage you, you opened your mouth, “Feels good.”

"I know it does, but I don't want you to come yet, alright? Just keep doin' that." Elvis unzipped his leather pants and slipped his underwear down just enough to pull his cock out. He started to quickly move his hand up and down his length, his hips thrusting up to meet every stroke.

You bit down on your left hand, trying so hard not to cum. "E-Elvis, I don't think I can wait much longer." You gasped out, another hot wave of pleasure washing over you.

“Uh-uh, you’re gonna go as long as I tell you to go for.” He mumbled out, stroking his cock, squeezing a bit tighter each time he reached the tip.

You rolled your hips upward, “Please.” You whined out.

“Doing so good for me, you like watching me stroke my cock, you like that? Keep rubbing your clit, baby girl didn’t tell you could stop.” He said.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck!" Your eyes snapped shut, your entire body went ridged as you came, unable to stop it. Watching you cum so hard was enough to send Elvis over the edge himself. He threw his head back and came, dropping his glass in the process. You both sat there and panted for a few minutes, riding out the now small shocks of pleasure bouncing around your bodies. You closed your eyes and just breathed for a moment, starting to slowly fall asleep. Elvis reached over and repeatedly tapped your knee.

"Uh uh, baby. You've gotta go and make me a new drink since you don't wanna listen." He said with a smirk, gently placing his empty glass in your lap. He then grabbed a random article of clothing from the floor and tossed it over the puddle next to him.

Thank you so much for the request anon!

Emmy Mae💜

Hannah 💙 @ninebluehearts

[dreamescapeswriting]

Night Feeds ~ KSJ [Request]

WORD COUNT:2.2K

PAIRING: Seokjin X Fem!Reader

GENRE: established relationship, family au, angst with a happy ending, fluffy, arguing

a/n: I noticed that I tend to leave my imagines with a bit of an open ending so I’m doing my best to improve on that and make everything tie together. I hope that you enjoy this hunny

"You have no idea Jin! I'm tired, I fell asleep for two minutes!" You cried out as Jin stood in the bathroom staring at you and then down to the bathtub. The water was discoloured from all of the scrubbing he had been doing on your daughter's arm. Bath scourer on the side of the tub along with body scrub, whitening toothpaste and all of the coconut oil you had available. All your daughter had said was that she wanted to be like Uncle Jungkook and then she had "tattoos" all over her arms. Small doodles that she would normally do on paper but on her arms, trying to match with Jungkook who had told her that she could do it when she was old enough. It wasn't as if you could watch her every second of every day, you had a newborn baby in one room, your head was all over the place trying to care for your son and daughter alone. You were exhausted from the night feeds and it wasn't as though Jin was exactly offering to help you with those either. Instead, he would fall back to sleep or go and sleep on the sofa while you were up with your newborn son. It had been that way when you had your first daughter too. You had no idea why you had expected anything different this time around. 

Marriage and family were supposed to be about working together, making sure that each of you was supported but right now. All it felt like was that you were supporting Jin and were left hanging on your own. 

"Do you realize how much worse this could have been? She could have burnt the house down! She could have run away," Jin was yelling at you but never looking up at you. That was the kind of person Jin was, he could yell all he wanted but he knew the moment he would look at you he would stop. Not wanting to see you upset but this was something serious, something he wasn't just going to let slide. 

"But it wasn't, I'm sorry Jin." You whispered as you reached out to touch his shoulder but he nudged you away softly. Reaching for the plug so that he could empty the water out from the tub and begin cleaning up. You didn't want this to be the way you fought, you hardly had fights with one another because you hated them so much.

"It's too late for that Y/n, what if she had seriously hurt herself? What were you thinking?" He questioned sounding a little harsh as he finally turned to look at you. His face was red as he looked at you, your heart sink as you stared back up at him. The guilt was already weighing down on you and now you had Jin looking at you as if you were the worst mother in the entire world. 

"We have a nanny for a reason," He mumbled coming out of the bathroom and heading toward the staircase, frowning you looked at the time. It was almost 11 at night, where could he possibly be going right now? 

"Where are you going?" Your voice cracked as you saw him reaching for his car keys and jacket, while you stared at him. 

"Jin!" You yelled as he opened the door and slammed it behind him as he walked out on you. Not wanting to deal with any of this right now but you weren't going to let him walk out. Not when you were still having a conversation, you weren't going to let him have the easy way out this time. 

"Fuck, sake!" You yelled out in frustration, walking down the stairs when you stepped onto one of the toys belonging to your daughter. It was over as quickly as soon as it happened. As if you had blinked and suddenly ended up on the floor, your ankle throbbing and your head spinning. 

"Mama?" You heard your daughter question as she began to walk around the top floor to see why you were screaming. She'd woken up hearing you and Jin fighting and stayed in her room, she hated the yelling just as much as you did.

"Hey sweetie," You croaked out attempting to get up but your ankle throbbed and sent a jolt of pain through the rest of your leg the second you put weight on it. You hissed looking around for your phone and then back to your daughter, 

"B-Bab, can you get mummy's phone?" You questioned as you pointed into the living room, your little girl rushing down the staircase to get your phone for you. 

"Do you know where your brother is? Go and make sure he's still sleeping for me baby," You ushered her back up the stairs to go and make sure he hadn't woken up through all of this while you called the Nanny. You wanted her to come and watch the kids while you went to the hospital, not telling Jin anything since he was the one to walk out on all of this. 

Sure it was petty but you didn't care, you wanted your kids to be looked after while you went to the hospital. What Jin didn't know wasn't going to kill him.

Jin walked through the door the next morning expecting to find you curled up with the kids but he frowned. The kitchen smelt like fresh pancakes and he could hear your daughter giggling. He'd come home to make sure she got to school on time, he wanted to take her with you. 

"Babe? You're making breakfast?" He called out walking around the corner to see the nanny standing in the kitchen, your daughter eating at the table while your son slept in a bassinet in the room.

"Where's Y/n?" He questioned defensively, seeing the nanny look a little worried. She was under strict instructions from you not to tell Jin where you were. The doctors had asked you to stay in overnight since you'd hit your head a little hard, they just wanted to make sure there was nothing else wrong before they sent you home. 

"She had to go somewhere, I'm watching the kids." She lied, it was an obvious lie so Jin stared at your daughter as she looked up at him. The marks were completely gone from her arms now and she was already up and dressed for school. 

"Mummy fell down, she's not here." Panic rose inside of Jin hearing that you had fallen and weren't there anymore. What did that mean?

"Where is mummy baby?" He questioned, sitting down beside her as the nanny said nothing. She was under instructions not to say anything but it didn't mean that your daughter couldn't tell Jin where you were.

"Hospital, Nanny Nora is going to take us later...Mummy said we should keep it a secret," Nora smiled weakly at Jin and he sighed rolling his head back and rubbing his temples. 

"She told me not to tell you, but she's in the women and children's section, they kept her overnight because of her head." Why wouldn't you want Jin to know? The two of you were married and were supposed to tell each other everything and yet, you hid this? 

"Jin? I told Nora-" You'd tried to speak but Jin shook his head, cutting you off. The moment he'd taken your daughter to school he went home and got ready to come and visit you. Even if you didn't want him there he was going to show up.

"She didn't, our daughter did," Jin said as he pushed the pram over to your bed, your son sleeping soundly in the little pram as you smiled down at him. Reaching your hand down to rub his little cheek with your thumb, he looked so much like Jin, even as a small baby. It was as if looking down a miniature version of your husband.

"Why didn't you tell me?" He sounded hurt but you didn't want to give into that. The whole night you had spent inside you had done nothing but think about your relationship with Jin and the kids. You wanted him to start pulling more weight around with them, taking them out to parks, helping you with the night feeds. It wasn't as if you were the only one that could feed your son, you had pumped enough bottles to make sure there was food for him. 

"Why didn't you tell me where you were going?" You quipped back at him. Jin looked at you and sighed, he'd run back to the dorms. It was where he always went when things got too much to deal with. 

"I went to the dorms," You scoffed a little, you should have known that was where he would have been but why? Why couldn't he have stayed with you and spoken everything out one on one? 

"What was the scoff for?" Jin asked with a little anger behind his voice, staring at you as you shook your head at him. 

"That's where you always go, when night feeds are too much you go to the sofa, when we fight you go to the dorms, you run away from everything." You mumbled looking over at the nurse who was coming in to check on what you were going to be eating for lunch.

"Because night feeds are exhausting, I work all day." He explained while you shook your head at him again. There was no excuse for running away from your family or wife when you need him. 

"You don't think I find them tiring? Laying there feeding our son while his father runs away to sleep?" You snapped a little, too angry to care anymore. Why did Jin think it was acceptable for him to rush off when you had your son together.

"You're his mother, you're supposed to feed him-"

"Don't. I pump milk so we can share the responsibility, this is why I'm so tired and fall asleep around our daughter." Jin could see just how pissed off you were about all of this but he said nothing as he sat there. Your heart breaking as you thought about the words running over in your mind, 

"Do you even care? Do you even want a family anymore?" That had been the one question going through your mind when you were laid in bed all night. Wondering if all of his running away was because he didn't want this lifestyle anymore. 

"What?! No! No, I love you all." Tears built up in his eyes as he thought about you thinking that about him. How could you ever believe something like that when he loved you. Promised himself to you in front of friends and family all of those years ago. 

"Then why do you do it? Why run away? You did the same thing when we had-"

"No, I didn't! I fed her," He yelled out defensively, raising from the chair he was sitting in as you remained calm. You knew the truth, no matter what Jin seemed to believe you remembered everything. It had been you and Jin feeding your daughter most of the time, the other boys helping sometimes too.

"When? Because I seem to remember the night and day feds being me or Jimin." It was like a shock to Jin's system as he thought back on your firstborn. Your daughter who had been the light of your life's after trying for a baby for so long, the first year of her being born you had been living at the dorms. 

"I didn't...I fed her, I-" He stared down at you as you looked up at him, staying calm was how he knew you were telling the truth and he sighed. 

"I've been alone throughout both pregnancies and raising them..." You knew it was going to be hard for him to hear but he had to hear how you felt. Letting out a huge breath as he sat down and thought back on everything, 

"I didn't...I never did help..." He whispered as you sighed, rolling to the side to pick your son up and cradle him in your arms. Even when it came to changing diapers and taking them out he was always busy or rushed off to do something else. Leaving you with all of the responsibility of being a parent.

"Why didn't you say anything before now?" He questioned watching as you rocked your son in your arms, turning to look at Jin who had tears running down his cheeks. 

"What was I supposed to say?" He looked down at your son and shook his head. Never wanting to make you feel like that ever again, that you were alone in all of this. 

"I promise I'll be there more, I'll help out more." He reached across to touch your son's cheek and you smiled weakly. It wasn't just a matter of promising you something it was doing it. Making sure he was staying true to his word and wasn't just going to do it for a couple of weeks before stopping once again.

But he did it, he stuck true to his word. Helping out with both your son and daughter over the years. Making sure he was being the best father and husband that he could ever be. Improving on himself more and more as the years went by, even as you had your third and fourth child with one another. Becoming a big and happy family together.

Tagline: @lyoongx @mitzwinchester @rjsmochii @taestannie​ @sw33tnight​ @sweeneyblue1​ @agustdjoon​ @jin-from-the-block​ @acciocriativity​ @taeechwitaa​ @mwitsmejk​ @justbangtanthingz​ @stillwithlix​ @misa0000​

[oreomonsterhunter]

“Now get your shoes on, you big idiot”

Pairing: Johnny x reader (or OC)

Word Count: 1259

Genre: fluff

Warnings: language?

Summary: Johnny accidentally confesses his feelings for his best friend

You hadn’t seen Johnny in ages, so when he called you, even though it was almost midnight and you were so ready to go to bed, you answered without a second thought.  “Hello handsome,” you grinned, blinking sleepily.

“Oh sh—it’s late, I’m sorry,” Johnny grimaced.

You waved him off.  “I missed you,” you said simply.

“Missed you too, dork,” he said, smiling through the screen.

“Ok, so tell me everything, are you eating enough?  Sleeping enough?  Do I need to come and beat up your manager?”

There was that laugh you’d been missing.  “I’m fine, it’s the usual song and dance.  You know how it is—just packed schedules these days.”

You frowned at him, “I know, we haven’t met up in weeks.  Some bestie you are.”

“Hey, you better not replace me,” Johnny narrowed his eyes.

“If I did, I’d replace you with Mark,” you teased.  “Maybe Doyoung.  Or do you know BTS?  Can you introduce me to Jimin?”

Johnny groaned, “I know I’m not your bias, but you don’t have to rub it in every chance you get.”

“Shut up, everyone’s a Jimin stan, they just refuse to admit it.”

“This is what I get for having friends outside the industry.”

You snorted, “I’m your only friend outside the industry.”

“Are not.”

“Am too.”

Johnny grumbled, resigning himself to changing the subject, rather than engaging in another argument he had no hope of winning.  You smirked at your victory.

Thirty minutes later, though, your eyelids were drooping.  Johnny noticed right away, nose practically pressed to the screen.  “Hey, sleepy, time for bed,” he whispered dramatically.

“Nuh uh,” you shook your head, snuggling back into the pillows.

“Hang up, come on.  It’s late, you’re tired, I’m tired.  But you can sleep in tomorrow and I can’t.”

You pouted, “No fair, I’m coming to yell at SM.”

Johnny just laughed at you again.  “Alright, seriously go to bed.”

“You first.”

He sighed, shaking his head, “You’re so annoying.  Hang up and get some sleep.”

“Nope, you first.”

Johnny glared playfully, “No, you.”

You giggled back, “No, you.”

“I love you.”

“No, yo—what?” you blinked.  Johnny gaped back at you, face turning redder by the second.  His mouth opened and closed, and then he made a face and ended the call.  “Goodnight,” he muttered, and then your screen went dark.

You gaped at the screen.  He really just hung up on you?  After saying...wait, wait, hold up.  Had Johnny seriously just said he loved you?  Was that a confession?  A shitty confession, you deserved better.  Was it an accident?  Oh my gosh, what if he never meant to say that, had you imagined it?  No, he was way too nervous for that—

You shook your head, ignoring the thoughts spiraling in your tired brain.  How could you sleep now?  Only one thing to do—go to the source.

That’s how you found yourself at Johnny’s door sometime after one in the morning, wearing mismatched socks and sweats with holes in the ankles, and your shoe half falling off.  You smashed the doorbell again, sure that Johnny must be awake, he was just ignoring you like all the texts you’d sent on the way over.  He had his read receipts on, for goodness sake.  You could tell he was ignoring you, that big lug.

Finally, the door cracked open.  You opened your mouth to yell at him, but the look on his face stopped you.  And you knew.

Everything you wanted to say dissolved, and you couldn’t do anything but smile at him.  Those damn butterflies were back, you felt like you’d float away.  “Wanna go on a walk?”

That got Johnny to open the door.  He whipped it open, glaring at you, totally different from the unsure expression a few seconds ago.  “Are you crazy?  It’s late, go home, okay?  Actually no, it’s late, you shouldn’t walk on your own.  You can sleep on the couch.  Heck, I’ll take the couch and you can take the bed.”

Your smile only grew, watching him ramble the way your brain hadn’t stopped rambling since he hung up on you.  And you felt your thoughts drift into silence.  “I love you, too.  Now get your shoes on, you big idiot.”

For a moment, neither one of you moved, and you wondered if you broke him.  Furrowing your brow, you opened your mouth to ask him, but that’s when he moved.  Large hands cupped your jaw the way you’d been dreaming about, and his nose brushed yours oh so gently, and then your lips met.

And Johnny proceeded to, for lack of a better phrase, kiss the snot out of you.

Your knees wobbled, and Johnny walked you backwards without breaking the kiss, backing you up against the wall.  You gasped, trapped between the brick and the solid mass of Johnny in front of you.  Johnny pressed his advantage, diving deeper into the kiss.  He tasted like toothpaste, you noted distantly, too distracted by the feel of those lips.

He was only wearing a t-shirt outside, and the heat of him threatened to burn you, yet you couldn’t keep away.  You fisted the thin material, fingers brushing up against rippling muscle beneath, and pushed impossibly closer to him.  What you would give to just melt into him.  Johnny groaned softly, rocking forward and biting your lower lip.  His thumb brushed over your cheekbone, softer than you thought possible.

Then Johnny tensed, pulling away from you.  “I’m sorry, wait a second.  I should have asked,” he started to ramble again.

You shook your head at him, sweet boy.  Mama Suh had raised him well, but he was still dumb sometimes.  That’s why you loved him so much.

You didn’t bother trying to explain; you simply twined your arms around his neck and yanked his lips back to yours.  This time, it was your turn to nip at him, insistent that he resume that steamy kiss immediately.

Finally, who knows how many minutes or seconds or years later, you broke apart to breathe.  Johnny pressed his forehead into yours, and you grinned, feeling a bit drunk.  On the lack of sleep or his kisses?  Gosh, you’d just kissed Johnny, your best friend.  And you realized you’d happily kiss him forever.  How had you waited this long?  Or rather, why had you waited?  Apparently you’d been missing out on Mr. Pillow Lips for years.

As your breathing calmed, you opened your eyes, looking up to meet Johnny’s gaze.  He blinked at you, and your smile bloomed.  “Should we go on that walk now?” you asked, surprised to hear that your voice was a bit hoarse.

Johnny smiled at you, leaning back to look at you properly.  “You and I both need to sleep more.  I promise we’ll go on a walk another time.”

“Just sleep?” you asked innocently, fluttering your lashes at him.

“Just sleep, you menace,” he laughed, slinging an arm around your shoulders and pulling you inside his apartment.  Your grin widened, thrilled that your best friend hadn’t gone anywhere.  You should have known better than to think that Johnny would let things get awkward.

You hummed thoughtfully as he led you through the apartment.  “I could exchange a walk for more kisses, I suppose,” you said, biting your lip.

“I just bet you could, princess,” Johnny smirked.  He let you go to flop on the bed.  When you stood in the doorway, a bit unsure, he propped himself up on his elbows, a twinkle in his eyes.  “But you’ll have to come and get them.”

* * * * *

Masterlist

[drabbles-mc]

Language

Neron ‘Creeper’ Vargas x F!Reader

@redpoodlern requested more Dad!Creeper and honestly I was more than happy to deliver on that haha. And thank you to @garbinge for always helping me pull together all of my ideas!

Warnings: language, mentions of alcohol, Creeper being a big ol’ softie with his kiddos

Word Count: 3k

A/N: This definitely takes place in the same universe as Like Father, Like Son because I’m a big fan of the family dynamic that I was sort of starting to build there. If no one has any objections that’s probably going to be my default HC for my future Dad!Creeper fics unless stated otherwise haha. I just love the idea of him with a pack of kids.

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The kids had one week off from school. One week. Seven days. Technically only five if you weren’t counting the weekend. You didn’t want to take the entire week off of work when you would be out on maternity leave in a couple more months, and as much as Creeper wanted you to be taking it easy, he said that if you really wanted save your time off for your leave, he would gladly keep the kids with him for the week.

“You and the guys can’t be doing,” you glanced around to make sure the kids weren’t in the room, “You and the guys can’t be doing serious club shit while they’re there, okay?” you knew that Creeper was always careful, but you also knew that some of the other men in the MC with him weren’t quite as cautious.

“Never, mama,” he leaned in and kissed your cheek, “Don’t worry. We’ll hold it down. It’s been a while since they got some time with their uncles, anyway.”

“Alright,” you nodded, taking a deep breath, “Go round up the gremlins, then,” you laughed, “They should each have their backpack with stuff in it.”

“Givin’ ‘em homework on their week off?” he chuckled.

You shook your head, “No, no. Just stuff to do if they get bored at the clubhouse. Coloring books, matchbox cars, whatever else they can fit in there.”

“Pfft,” he shook his head, “like we’ll ever let them get bored,” he let out a whistle, “Let’s go, homies! Time to roll out.”

Their footsteps thundered through the house as all three if them came booking it down the hall, each with their backpacks either on their shoulders or dangling from their hands. Both you and Creeper laughed at how excited they were to spend some time with their dad and their entire squad of uncles at the clubhouse.

“Which car you taking, baby?” you asked him.

“Just figured I’d take the van. It’s got all their stuff in it already.”

You smiled, nodding as you grabbed the keys off the counter and tossed them to him, “Alright, no doing donuts with it.”

He chuckled, “If they ask I won’t be able to tell them no,” he was about to say something else when his phone started going off in the pocket of his kutte. He reached and took it out, brows furrowing slightly as he answered, “Yea? Yea I’m about to head out. We’ll talk about it when I get there,” he shook his head slightly, “Alright yea,” with a huff he hung up the phone.

“All good?” you arched one eyebrow.

He nodded, “Yea. They act like I’m not gonna see them in twenty minutes. What the fuck is that important that it can’t wait?”

You shot him a glare, “Neron! Language, please.”

“Shit, sorry.”

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose.

He smiled sheepishly, stepping in close to give you a kiss, “I’m sorry, I love you, and I’ll call you later, mama.”

“Mhm,” you laughed as you playfully shoved him towards the door, “Tell the kids they gotta keep your boys in line.”

“They don’t even need me to tell ‘em.”

Very few things rivaled the excitement that the guys felt when they saw the minivan rolling into the scrapyard. Seconds after Creeper threw the van in park, all of the kids came sprinting out. His son leapt out of the passenger seat as his little sisters came tumbling out the back. It was quite the scene watching them walk up with their father, looking like quite the entourage all together.

“Wifey let you take the real whip today, huh?” Angel said with a laugh as he pulled Creeper into a hug.

He chuckled, “Anything for the wolfpack,” Creeper watched as his kids made their rounds to say hi and hug each of the men that were outside the clubhouse waiting for them to arrive.

Angel looked over at the minivan, “Still can’t believe she let you put those fuckin’ stickers on there, bro,” he laughed.

“Yo,” he smacked Angel in the chest, “No swearin’ in front of the kids,” he paused, “What do you got against the stickers? I think they’re cool.”

“Guess I just never thought that your soccer mom van needed fake bullet holes.”

“That’s what keeps it from being a soccer mom van,” he tapped the side of his head with a knowing look, like he had cracked some sort of code.

“Right,” Angel laughed and shook his head before turning his attention to the kids, “Brandon! Get over here! Let’s see if you’re taller than me yet, dude.”

Creeper turned and saw that the twins were already trying to take Hank down to the ground—a goal that they’d had ever since they were little toddlers. Every time they saw him, they got closer and closer to being successful but they weren’t quite there yet. He had one hanging off of each arm as he tried to walk across the yard without falling over onto them. Creeper laughed as he watched the shenanigans unfold, and they’d only been there for about two minutes.

“Alex! Ava!” he shook his head slightly with a smile, “Give Uncle Hank a break, alright? The man has work to do.”

“They’ll be taking him to the ground soon enough, man,” EZ laughed as he let Hank struggle with the two little girls.

“Make sure you’re filming it,” Creeper responded with a laugh as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“How’s Y/N?” EZ asked.

“Pregnant,” he looked over at EZ and laughed, “Nah she’s good. Working this week, so we got some extra help around here.”

“She’s still working?”

He nodded, “Oh yea. She’ll work till the baby pops outta her,” he shook his head, “I don’t know how she fu—” he caught himself, “I got no clue how she does it, man.”

“Pregnancy one of those things you get better at the more you do it?”

He laughed, “Why don’t you ask her next time you see her?”

“Hard pass,” he shook his head, laughing.

Creeper was glad that he had an entire team of guys to help him try to tire them all out, because it wasn’t an easy task in the slightest. At one point he was fairly certain that he lost them in the depths of the scrapyard and when he did finally find them, they were running around and playing hide and seek where all the scrapped cars were kept. The only thing that kept him from having a heart attack at the sight of it was knowing that none of the cars had any glass left in them that the kids could cut themselves on. But the three of them had easily turned the scrapyard into their kingdom.

“C’mon, lunch time,” he called out to them and they all hesitated, not quite ready to give up the game. Creeper sighed, “Chucky made lunch for you guys.”

That was all it took. Their eyes lit up and the girls almost pushed their brother to the ground in an attempt to beat him back to the clubhouse. Creeper shook his head as he followed them, egging them all on.

“C’mon, B-Dawg, use those legs!” he called after his son with a laugh.

“Knees to chest, Brandon!” Angel joined in as he watched the three of them race up the steps of the clubhouse.

Soon enough, the three of them were all sat at one of the tables inside the clubhouse. Chucky beamed at them, “The Vargas Trio,” he brought their plates over, “I hear you’re keeping us company for the week.”

“Dad said we get to come every day,” Ava said as she shoveled a spoonful of food into her mouth.

“Eat first, then talk, lil mama,” Creeper chastised her with a small smile as he shook his head.

Creeper sat at the table with them, casually drinking his beer as he watched the three of them tuck into the lunch that Chucky had made for them. He knew that Chucky loved when the kids were around—he became the ultimate chef and babysitter once those kids set foot on the property. There wasn’t a single thing that he wouldn’t do for those kids and Creeper could tell just by the way that Chucky seemed so at peace as he watched them sitting around the table together.

“What d’you guys say?” he asked them as he nodded towards Chucky.

“Thank you, Uncle Chucky,” they all said in unison.

The warmest of smiles spread across Chucky’s face as he nodded, “The pleasure is all mine.”

By late in the afternoon, the kids were finally starting to run out of steam. The girls were sprawled out on the floor of the clubhouse, art supplies strewn everywhere as they worked through entire sketchbooks’ worth of paper with Chucky. Brandon had been lurking at a safe distance as he watched some of the guys work in the scrapyard. The idea of breaking things apart was intriguing for many reasons to an eight-year-old boy, but he always listened if one of the men said to back up or not touch something. Every now and then, though, Creeper would let him take a crack at something with the hammer and the excitement on his son’s face was contagious.

The two of them walked back into the clubhouse to get a couple water bottles for themselves and the rest of the guys outside. Creeper was behind the bar, handing them over to his son while also trying to get a good look at what Alex and Ava were up to with Chucky. He smiled at the way the three of them seemed to exist so peacefully together. He hoped that the twins would always get along as well as they seemed to so far.

There was the quiet snapping sound of a pencil point breaking, followed by Alex tossing it to the side and huffing, “Fuck that.”

The entire clubhouse fell silent. Creeper’s eyes went wide as his jaw dropped slightly and Chucky looked over to him, trying to figure out what he was supposed to say or do. Creeper set one last water bottle down on the surface of the bar before addressing the issue.

“Alex? You good, babygirl?”

“It’s like the bazillionth time my pencil has broken.”

He wanted to be amused but he knew that you’d kill him for not talking about the whole language issue, “Alright. I hear you. But…but you can’t be talkin’ like that. Where’d you even hear that, anyway?”

“You,” all three of his kids replied in unison.

He exhaled sharply through his nose as he pressed his lips together into a thin line, trying to figure out what the right way to go about this was, “Look,” he waved for his son to follow him as he walked over to his daughters, “You can’t be talkin’ like that, okay? Those are grownup words. Whatever you do,” he rested his hand on her shoulder gently, “Don’t say that in front of Mommy,” he looked amongst the three of them, “And if it slips, you tell her that Uncle Angel taught you that, alright?” they all nodded and he let out a tiny sigh of relief, “Good. Okay.”

That was the last thing he said about it as he nudged Brandon’s shoulder and they went back to collect up the water bottles and bring them outside. The girls went back to their drawings and Chucky decided that there was nothing left to do but follow suit.

“Uncle Chucky?” Alex asked without looking up from her paper.

“Yes, my dear?”

“Why don’t you talk like they do?” she continued to fill in the cartoon coloring page, “Daddy says they’re grownup words but I never hear you saying them.”

“Speaking like a grownup doesn’t interest me in the slightest,” he smiled at her before returning to his own paper.

It was a week filled with antics. The clubhouse was covered in coloring pages of every cartoon and Disney character you could possibly think of. All of the guys had gotten their nails painted by the twins at least once. Brandon got his own Romero Brothers work-shirt and now he never wanted to take it off. Every single member of the MC was tired in a way they never remembered being tired before. Nap time was something that everyone partook in, even the adults, because they all needed the rest.

You took a half day on Friday so you could spend some time with all of them at the clubhouse. You liked seeing the kids running around having a good time with the guys, and truthfully you missed the nights you’d stay late with Creeper there. Late-night partying hadn’t been something the two of you had done in a long time, but none of that compared to the sense of joy you felt as you heard your daughters very intensely explaining the entire plot of both Frozen movies to EZ, who sat and nodded along, a very serious look on his face.

You smiled, making your rounds to say hello to the guys before you made your way over to Creeper who was sitting at the bar. He smiled, standing up to place a kiss to your lips and then to your belly before offering you his seat. You took it without hesitation, always happy to be off your feet for a few minutes.

“How’s the week been?” you asked as you glanced around the clubhouse.

He nodded, “Good. The guys will be sleeping for a week straight once the kids go back to school,” he laughed.

You smiled, nodding, “I bet.”

“It’s been nice having them here. Keeps things from getting to serious.”

“Yea,” you chuckled, “I’d imagine that it’s a bit harder to have a serious argument when all of your tables are covered in drawings of Olaf and Moana, and everyone’s nails are painted hot pink.”

“I kinda like it,” he held his hand out for you to inspect, “But I think purple is more my color.”

You laugh, nodding, “Oh, for sure, baby.”

The two of you were chatting when all of a sudden you heard a series of thuds, followed by Ava softly, but very clearly, saying, “Fuck,” as she rubbed her skinned knee.

You looked over at your husband, staring daggers, “Neron, I swear to god if—”

“It wasn’t me, mama, I swear,” he held his hands up in surrender.

With a sigh you rose up from the stool and made your way over to your daughter. You looked at her knee—it was scraped but it wasn’t bleeding. She also wasn’t crying which was a good sign. You asked if she was alright and when she said yes, you asked your follow-up question, “Where’d you hear that word, sweetie? Because those aren’t words that you should be using.”

Creeper held his breath as he waited for her to respond. Ava looked at you, and with no hesitation she responded, “Uncle Angel.”

You whipped your head to look at the biker in question. His eyes were as wide as you’d ever seen them. He tried to sputter out a denial, some kind of defense, but he couldn’t string the words together. He couldn’t believe that he’d just been thrown under the bus like that, especially by the girl who not even an hour beforehand said that he was her favorite uncle.

Calmly, you rose to your feet and smoothed out your dress. Creeper recognized the look in your eye and he knew that Angel was in for it. He felt bad, but not bad enough to step in and tell you the truth of the matter. It was a little deal in the grand scheme of things, really.

“Baby,” Creeper called after you, “Baby I can handle—”

“It’s fine, Neron,” your tone was dangerously even, “I just wanna talk to Uncle Angel for a minute.”

He knew that that meant you did not want to talk, “Mama, really—”

“Bring the kids outside, please. We gotta start heading home anyway.”

At that point he knew that he wasn’t going to convince you. He scooped Alex in one arm and Ava in the other, “Alright, let’s go, babygirls,” he nudged Brandon gently towards the door, “C’mon, lil homie, let’s pack the car up.”

Once the clubhouse door shut behind them, you turned your full attention to Angel. You picked up a stray coloring book and rolled it the same way you would a newspaper, and smacked him with it, “Angel Reyes!”

“Ah,” he held his arms to block your swings, “Y/N, hear me out!”

“You will not,” you smacked him again, “be teaching my six-year-olds how to cuss,” you hit him with the book once more for good measure, “Got it? Pregnant or not I will beat your ass.”

He held his hands up in surrender, “Okay, okay. Sorry, querida. Didn’t realize that they picked things up so quick.”

You pointed the rolled up coloring book at him accusingly, “Better start realizing it.”

“Yes ma’am,” he nodded.

You looked at him for a few seconds before giving a nod of approval and dropping the book back onto the table, “Good. Alright then,” you stood on your tip-toes and kissed him on the cheek, “Glad we’re on the same page. I love you.”

“Love you too,” he shook his head slightly as he followed you out of the clubhouse.

He said goodbye to the three kids as they piled into the minivan before pulling Creeper to the side, “Why’d Ava snitch on me like that, bro?”

Creeper chuckled nervously, running his hand over his head, “About that. I…I might’ve told them to blame you if they slipped up in front of their mom.”

“What the fuck, Creep?”

“What? You tellin’ me you wouldn’t do the same shit?”

He paused for a moment before laughing, “Yea, probably. But still,” he gave him a light shove, “Messed up turning my own nieces and nephew against me like that.”

“Technically just turning their mom against you a little bit,” he chuckled.

“I feel like that’s worse.”

“It’s definitely worse,” Creeper clapped him on the shoulder, “Well. Better get ready. Next vacation is gonna be for the whole summer.”

Angel laughed as he hugged Creeper, “Can’t wait.”

[adventures-written]

@needlenxggin

Seems he’s still got some yee-hawing in’em!

[darkeninganon]

Gream angst! So, nails are cannon (you know, those thing you use to build), as well as other construction items. Mama Puffy helps though. Trigger warnings: Slight blood, implied torture, panic attack/response, cursing. Read at your own risk!

Puffy smiled, carefully petting the little ghost. He had gotten surprised by a creeper dropping between them as she was gathering wood, and had shrunk. She thought he had exploded, and nearly burst into tear again, only for him to swing into her line of sight while clinging to her bangs. Now, he had tangled himself in her wool-like hair, seemingly unbothered by how small he currently was and just enjoying the ride. He was completely different from how he was like when he was alive. With a sigh, she finally reached the mansion in Snowchester, climbing the winding stairs to get back to work on the table he was building.

"Oh, by the way, do have obsidian? I need it for the table. And a nether portal for Snowchester." He stated, pulling a strand between his hands as if it was a rope he was inspecting.

Puffy snickered, gently de-tangling him from the curly strands and holding him to her face. "Yeah, but not here. Let's get the actual table done first though, okay?" Dream- Gream - nodded. She still found the name change... interesting. It wasn't subtle at all that he was related to Dream, but people might think he's a dead relative or something... once the mask was gone. If he ever got rid of it. She was sure she could convince him to give it up eventually.

She set Gream down gently, letting him hop off her hand and onto the ground, carefully sitting down next to him. She then brought out her tools, setting each item down in front of her. Gream watched, staring at the hammer, pliers, scrapers, nails...

"Just give me the book!"

"I can- No. It's been what? Two weeks, and I haven't given anything up. Just give up!"

The man paced, a smile splitting across his face, golden tooth glistening from the lava. He leaned against the netherite blocks, the Warden had gotten into the habit of putting the barrier back up after Dream had tried to jump into the lava. The man turned back around, hammer swinging lazily. "Let's give this a try, yeah?"

"No... Sam! Stop, just leave!"

"Dream?"

"Leave me alone already, you can't have the book!"

"Gream!"

The little ghost gasped, snapping back to the real world. Puffy was standing back, holding Michael and Michelle off the ground; Tubbo, Tommy, and Ranboo were also off, standing in the doorway with Tubbo and Ranboo holding back Tommy, who was leaning into the doorway, stretching out over...

Shit. The whole room was slowly filling with acid. Gream hugged himself, sitting in the middle of the growing puddle. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. It's not my fault..."

"Gream, Gream we know, we know Gream!" Tommy tried to calm the ghost down. He hated when things like this happened. When Gream remembered...Something he'd either shrink, fill the space with acid, or do both. It really was getting tiring, and Tommy was too young to know how the hell to calm down a crazy ghost... who happened to be the ghost of his most hated enemy. Seriously, this had started out as him wanting to get revenge, but that was kind of hard when Gream kept freaking out over minor things.

Puffy set Michael and Michelle down on a shelf, stepping into the growing pool of acid. Tommy saw her cringe as it hit her hooves, a couple of bubbles slowly forming. He was suddenly pulled back, out of the doorway. "OW! What the-" Tubbo pointed down. The acid was slowly making its way out of the room. Shit, they had to do something fast. Puffy carefully walked over to the absolutely tiny ghost, doing her best to hid how much it hurt. Tommy couldn't even imagine. He'd dealt with lava and drowning and fire, he was not about to learn what slimy acid felt like.

"Gream? Sweetie? Can you hear me?" Puffy called out, trying not to loom over him. Gream looked up, only to suddenly look back down, curling into himself. Puffy sucked in a breath, scooping him up in her bare hands. The teens cringed as they saw the acid fill her hand and slowly drip over the edge. "G-Gream? It's me, Puffy. You're... mom? Sweetie? Please talk to me." Gream slowly uncurled, looking up at her from her hands. "What... What's wrong? You can tell me anything." Her smile betrayed her feelings, awkward and unnatural, tears threatening to fall from pain.

Gream looked to his feet, pulling his knees closer to his chest. "The man... I... There's a book... I don't know..." His small fists tangled in his hair, curling back in on himself. "I don't even know... It was a book... Just some book."

A realization came to Puffy at that moment, ears falling flat against her head. A small, strangled noise came from her, the tears finally falling. He died because of the revive book. Her duckling died because he refused to give up the revive book... The only response he was even kept alive in the first place. Her gaze slowly turned to the teens, locking onto Tommy. "You... You..." She couldn't blame Tommy for this, he had nothing to do with her duckling dying, and her duckling had hurt Tommy so much, it would be justice and revenge and it wouldn't be over the revive book. Especially since Wilbur was already back. Tommy stared in horror, the same realization coming to him as Gream spoke. Just who even wanted-

"Sam." The Warden's name felt like venom on Tommy's tongue. Sam, the Warden, knew who had done this. He had let someone visit Dream - Tommy knew this, but it never really hit him until now - after Tommy had died by Dream's hands. After Dream confirmed the book worked on humans. Someone had visited Dream in an effort to get the book, and knowing how Gream acted...

Tommy stormed out of the mansion. He needed to talk to Sam.

Puffy stared after Tommy, confused what was going on i the teen's head. She shook her head, she had to focus on Gream right now. "It's okay. You don't have to remember the book. Clearly it was important... too important to fall into the wrong hands." Puffy sniffled, carefully wiping the tears away so as to not burn her face. "Mommy is so proud of you. You protected everyone sweetie."

Gream looked up, relaxing slowly. "Really? You mean it?"

Puffy nodded. "Yes! You're so brave, and strong. You're my brave little duckling." She held her hands close the her face, closing her eyes as Gream slowly stood up. She felt him hug and nuzzle against her nose, the acid stopping, seemingly evaporating. Magic acid, who would have thought? Puffy opened her eyes again, just barely able to see Gream pressing himself into the short fur that covered her body. She watched him pull away, looking at her hands and hooves. Her palms were red and blistered, clearly irritated and very sensitive, even his little feet felt like burning iron. Her hooves were cracked and breaking, the fragile skin underneath the nail-like material exposed in some spots and bleeding.

"I'm sorry... I didn't mean to-"

"Shhh, it's okay." Puffy smiled, gently petting her duckling. "I know you didn't mean yo, I know you have something going on in that head of yours. I know it hurts you as well." She removed her hand from his head, carefully maneuvering a finger under his chin so he would look up. "Parents... we are supposed to love our children no matter how much they hurt us..." She took a shuddering breath. "I... I wasn't there, when you needed me... I thought about helping you... but then I turned my back on you." Puffy's voice cracked. Her duckling, who had caused so much pain, suffering, and harm to others had been hurt so badly; and instead of doing the responsible adult thing and visiting him, talking to him, letting him know she cared, she had let him rot in that cell. "If anyone should be apologizing, it should be me!"

She held him close to her chest, falling to her knees as she finally broke down again. Puffy wouldn't let anyone take her duckling to jail ever again. She finally had him back, and she wasn't going to lose him.

[indefiniteimagines]

Not Even For A Minute || Poussey Washington Imagine *Requested*

Summary: Poussey has a crush on the reader and thinks she doesn’t like her back, but she does.

Pairing: Poussey Washington x Reader

Warnings: Fem!reader, lewd language/comments, language, reader doesn’t have a preferred sexual orientation, use of R slur, angst, fluff

A/N: Holy shit! This is my first piece of writing in actually only a couple of months, but I’m claiming years because I am officially back like I was in high school. I’m so sorry if this is not my best, I am EXTREMELY rusty, so take it easy on me for now :) 

It was dinner time at Lichfield and it was only my second meal in my new home. My new home filled with almost 200 other women. For the next 5 years, I will see the inside of this cafeteria 3 times a day, 21 times a week, 1,095 times a year and a whopping 5,473 times in total. You’re probably wondering why that matters, but it matters.

I take my tray and do a quick search for a place to sit. I find a spot at the very end of one of the middle tables. It was the only seat with no one in a two foot radius of me. I sit down and look at the food in front of me. My first dinner includes spaghetti, two mini oranges, a salad, and a brownie. It’s not horrible when you think about it. It’s a pretty standard meal. Well it would be without the questionable odor coming from the meatballs. I close my eyes and sigh. 

“Maybe she’s deaf.”

“She ain’t deaf.”

“HELLO!”

“She can’t hear you if she’s deaf, dummy.”

“Fine, then you try, Angie.”

I was so deep in my own world that I almost didn’t notice the cherry tomato that hit me in my head. 

“Hey, girl!”

I opened my eyes and looked to my left.

“Are you talking to me?” I asked with a hint of a nervous tone.

“Uh yeah, have been for the last 5 hours. You retarded or something?”

“5 hours ago? No that can’t be right. Remember, we was in the laundry room 5 hours ago, Tucky.”

“Jesus, Angie! I was being snide.”

“You mean sarcastic?”

“Snide means sarcastic.”

“Then why not just say sarcastic?”

I watched as “Tucky” closed her eyes and tilted her head in annoyance.

“I’m sorry, but did you guys need something?”

Tucky’s eyes snapped open, “Uh, yeah. Why’re you sitting here?” She took her bottom lip into her mouth as she waited for my response.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know anyone was sitting here.”

“She never said that,” Angie said while flashing her pearly browns.

“I’m confused.”

“Wow maybe she really is retarded,” Angie said.

“Tucky” nodded at Angie, “I think you’re right, Ang. Here, I’ll break it down real slow like for you: You don’t belong here.”

“Look, I don’t want any trouble. Just let me finish my dinner and I’ll never sit with you again.” I tried to reason with the little troll, but she just wasn’t having it. 

She nodded her head while picking up her milk carton. She then poured it all over my food. “Seems to me like you’re done.”

All I could do was stare with my mouth open. 

“Why did you do that?!”

“BECAUSE YOU DON’T BELONG HERE!” She screamed as she stood up and let one of her fist hit the metal table.

“Dogget! You’re done! Empty your tray.” A CO finally intervened from the next row over. Dogget and her Meth Mates got up from the table and walked out. 

All I could do was sit there with my head hanging low as I let a few tears escape. I’m not usually this weepy, but in my defense, all I wanted was that little brownie...which was now swimming in a pool of used milk. 

*A few tables over*

“Fuck was that about?” Poussey asked her family as she nodded her head over to the other table; finally arriving with her tray. 

“Mmmm, Meth Mouth and her cult were fuckin’ with one of the newbies,” Janae replied in the middle of finishing her bite.

Poussey hovered over her chair to get a good look at the bothered inmate and sat back down while shaking her head. 

After having a mini pity party for myself, I got up and dumped my spoiled tray before leaving the cafeteria. I go back to my temporary bunk and buried myself under my blanket. 

“Cheer up, Kid. You’ll be out of here sooner than you know.”

I gave a pitiful grin to the nice older woman.

“I like your eyeshadow.”

“Duh,” she said as she threw me a wink.  

I let out a sigh, got comfortable and laid in my bed until morning.

I finally fell asleep, but only for 2 hours. At the ass crack of dawn, I was woken up by the morning announcement, which had absolutely no enthusiasm. “Good morning, ladies. Try to seize the day. The world is your oyster.”

“You’d think she’d quit if she hates her job so much.” That was the first time I heard the redhead with the horrible bed head speak.

“Bell is about as enthusiastic as a wet bag of hair, but she’s one of the good ones.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she said groggily.  

“You joining us for breakfast?”

I drifted back to sleep before I could hear her response. I woke up in what seemed like an hour, but was only 30 minutes. For the slightest second I forgot where I was. I opened my eyes and was met with DeMarco standing right in front of me.

“Well good morning sleepyhead! Nice of you to join the living.”

“What? What time is it?”

“You see a clock in here? What I do know is that you got 10 minutes left for breakfast. You better hurry.”

I hop down off my bunk and start to change.

“Thanks.” 

“You don’t talk much, do you?”

I gave her a shrug as I zipped up my jacket and headed for breakfast. I arrived in the cafeteria and was able to get my food right away since there was no line. Some tables are still filled, but some are also empty. I scan the room and pick the table farthest away from Doggett and her followers. I was in the middle of eating my eggs when Angie walked by and sneezed on my tray. 

“Oops, ‘scuse me,” she said with a shit eating grin.

“God damnit,” I whisper to myself while trying not to deck this bitch.

“You shouldn’t say the Lord’s name in vain like that.”

I look up at her through hooded eyes, “Walk the fuck away.” My voice was low and I kind of scared myself.

���Oooo, devil eyes. Hey! She’s got devil eyes,” she says louder than the first time, except now she’s giggling and pointing at me while backing away. Doggett sucks her bottom lip at me while flipping her hood and getting up to walk out. I can feel people starring so I do a very quick observation and then stand up to leave. 

“Empty your tray,” the guard at the door told me. “Get some coffee while you’re at it. It’ll help you stay full until lunch.”

 I look up at his name that’s stitched into his shirt. Ohhhh, so this is O’Neil. I heard some of the girls talking about his scandalous relationship with CO Bell. Good for them. I turned around and went to dump my tray before following the advice and going for the coffee. 

“Yo, why they always fucking with her?” Poussey asked the table as she watched in disapproval as Y/N dumped her tray.

“Why do you care?” Taystee asked while rolling her eyes.

“For real? You ain’t notice that ever since China got out, Prince Charming over here been lookin’ for a new helpless, basket case? I mean, shit.”

“Aye don’t talk about Brook like that. Not cool, Cindy.”

“ “Cindy”? Bitch, fuck you think you is? My mama? Ugh, check ya tone.”

“Whatever man. I’m just tired of seeing Meth Madness fuck with people like they run the place.”

“Again, why do you care?”

“Shit just ain’t right, is all.”

“Mmmhmm,” Taystee replied as they got up from the table.

I turn around after filling my mug and notice that it’s just me, the inmates that clean up and the CO’s supervising them. I carry my warm mug through the halls and I notice there’s not as many people crowding them as there were last night. 

“Inmate! Where you are supposed to be?”

“Uhm, I’m not really sure.”

“Wrong answer!”

“Wrong?”

“Don’t get smart with me. Jefferson! Tell inmate...Y/L/N where she’s supposed to be.”

“Well, since it’s after lunch, we’re supposed to be headed to our work detail. Not whatever you was doing, apparently.”

The tall guard with the creepy mustache looked down at me and raised his eyebrows.

“Thank you, Jefferson.”

“I don’t have a work detail yet.”

He closed his eyes and sighed. When he opens them he looked back at Jefferson, “you work in the library, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Take her with you.”

She sucked her teeth, “Man, what do I say when someone asks why she’s there? No offense, but I ain’t taking no shots just because she’s somewhere she’s not supposed to be.”

“What’s a shot?”

“Jesus fuck. Will you both get out of my goddamn sight?” 

He snatched my mug; Jefferson and I gave each other a look and started towards the library. When we got there it was almost empty.

“You know, the labels are there to help the books be put back in their respectful place, not to look cute. I mean, damn.” I notice Jefferson chuckle at the girl we hear before seeing. She’s talking to a pair of inmates who are whispering to each other before tossing another book down and scurrying off. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” she calls after them, but to no avail. She sighs to herself before returning back to work. 

“Hey, P! Whatchu up to?”

“Practically cleaning up behind bitches. I mean, why is it so hard to put a book back in its original spot? Jane Eyre belongs in literature, not SAT Prep,” she called back.

“Truly first world problems,” Jefferson said unamused.

“Yooo, you ever heard of “Oedipus”? It’s mad crazy. Like this one part where the main dude...” she kept talking as she rounded the corner to finally come face to face with us.

“...who’s this?”

“Our puppy dog for the day,” Jefferson said as she rolled her eyes.

“Oh alright then. Well I’m working over here in history. Y’all can start in fiction. It’s a fuckin mess over there.”

“Um, then why don’t we all work in fiction?”

“Did you not hear me say it’s a fuckin mess? Have fun.”

I walked away, smiling to myself. I didn’t think anyone here would care for books like I did.

After the work day was over, I separated from the two friends and went back to my temporary bunk until dinner. The next day I followed Jefferson back into the library.

“Oh, puppy dog is back.”

Jefferson turned her head to me, “Don’t you know when you gettin your work detail yet?“

“Sorry, still no.”

“As much as I’m sure you love the view you get, I’m gettin tired of you following me.”

“I can ask someone if I can work somewhere else.”

“T-ha! And make me look like a problem? I think not.”

“Nah, we could use the extra help in here since bitches can’t put shit back where it’s supposed to go. Hate to break it to y’all, but foreign language is even worse than fiction was.”

“My god. Can’t you help us over here instead of doing whatever it is the fuck you doin?”

“Uh no.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m President of the Library.”

“Says who!?”

“Suzanne,” she said as a matter of fact while leaning forward to show us her ID that read “President Washington: Library”.

“Aw damn. It’s official and everything. Man, that’s some bull shit,” Jefferson said as she walked away.

All I did was look at the Presidential badge and smile.

“Since you don’t complain like some people, just know you’re first in line for Vice President. Just don’t tell Taystee,” she told me on the sly.

“Taystee?”

“Jefferson.”

“Ohh, got it.”

“I’m Poussey, by the way,” she said extending her hand.

“Y/N. Nice to meet you.”

“Yeah you too.”

She has a beautiful smile.

Towards the end of the work day, I found myself near Poussey’s section. Since our work for the time being is pretty much done, I start to browse the shelves when I spot a book dear to my heart, “Alice in Wonderland”. I get a mini rush of serotonin and pop a squat up against one of the shelves. I lose track of time, until I realize I no longer see anyone. “Imagination is the only weapon in the war against reality”. You are right about that, Mr. Carroll.

“Hello?” I’m immediately startled. I start to shuffle to my feet and by the time I stand, I’m met with someone else.

“Whoa, shit. My bad. I didn’t think anyone else was in here.” Shit, I must’ve I said that out loud.

“Sorry, I guess I lost track of time.”

“It’s cool. So you haven’t been assigned a work duty yet, huh?”

I shook my head.

“I, uh, I must admit that this is the best job. Call me bias, but it’s the truth.”

“Thanks,” I say with a slight smile.

“You’re the one Pennsatucky and her crew keep messing with.”

“Yeah, that’s me.”

“Y’all got beef on the outside or something?”

“No, but I found it’s better to not provoke a methed out mental case.”

“Not wrong there. Well, I’ll see you around. Oh and be careful with Alice, she’s my favorite.”

The next few days were the same. I would follow Taystee into the library and listen to her and Poussey be absolute clowns. Poussey and I got to be closer since we were usually the last two to leave. We talked about how much time we have, our family, and she even told me about the Vee drama. During my stint of unpaid work in the library, I was finally able to change out of the highlighter jumpsuit and into a khaki set.

After an hour or so into a shift, I found myself distracted with my favorite book, “In Five Years”.

“Oh uh, that goes on the second to last shelf right behind you.”

“Huh? Oh yeah. It was actually already in the right spot, but it’s one of my favorites,” I tell her as I put the book back.

“What’s it about?”

“This woman named Dannie-“

“Y/L/N!”

We both looked towards the door and saw and the same pasty CO that sent me here.

“With me.”

I gave Poussey a grin and walked towards the CO,

“Where are we going?”

He didn’t answer me and just kept walking. I followed him to a warehouse that smelled of Clorox and musty water.

“Janitorial. Your job assignment. Morello will fill you in on what to do.”

“Oh yeah I can do that. No problem.”

The first couple of hours involved cleaning the halls, but I moved on to the Spanish bathrooms. Poussey was right, the library was the best job to have.

*A few weeks later at dinner

“I don’t know why you’d let Edward Scissorhands cut your hair and not me.”

“Because Danita only charges me a bag of Doritos. Not two cokes. Plus, she don’t even ask for the Cool Ranch flavor!”

“Beggars can’t be choosers. I do two cokes worth of work, Child.”

I laughed at Taystee and Sophia having their little banter in the food line. I walked with them to the table and sat down.

“...but then the dragon realized the little ghost girl was friendly, even though she was cold as ice. Fire and ice, that would never work!”

“Why not? What happened to opposites attract?” I ask sort of challengingly. 

“Mommy said ice is used to put out fires. Well, technically water is used to put out fires but ice is just water in solid form. So the fire would go out!”

“But do you know what happens when fire and ice mix?”

“The world goes dark?”

“No. They make steam,” I gave Poussey a “subtle” smirk.

“Mommy says steam is for showers, crab legs and “fun times”.

“I miss making steam with a fine gentleman with a curve on that dick.”

We all laughed along at what Cindy said and I agreed with her.

“There are just some things your fingers can’t accomplish,” I said jokingly while being serious. She pointed her fork at me, “I like her.”

Poussey was noticeably quiet throughout the rest of dinner. Only chiming in to seem interested. She didn’t even finish her tray before she was dipping out.

“Wait I’ll come with you.”

“Nah, stay and eat. I’ll catch you later.”

“Uh oh. Trouble is Lezzy Paradise?”

I almost didn’t hear Cindy as I kept watching Poussey leave the cafeteria.

“Stop it.”

Taystee rolled her eyes and shook her head.

For the next few days, it was hard to get ahold of Poussey. Since we knew each other’s schedules, it was easy for her to avoid me.

Meals were no better. She made sure to get there early so by the time I was sitting down, she was done.

“Aye, you need to fix that,” Janae told me with her eyebrow raised.

“I don’t know what the problem is.”

“I know you are not that dumb,” Boo said as she sat across from me.

“She’s kicking her own ass because she broke the #1 rule of being interested in pussy...” she continued.

I looked at her as I was waiting for her to continue.

“Never fall in love with a straight girl!”

“Love? What-When did I say I was straight-”

“The other night when that one was talkin bout curved dick and you chimed in basically foamin at the mouth at the thought,” Taystee said.

“Noooo, I was joking.”

“Yeah well, apparently she don’t know that.” I looked at Janae and sighed.

I had to wait until the weekend to see her. It was pouring rain and there was a leak in the library and the cleaning warehouse had a slight flood, so neither of us had work.

I snuck my way to her bunk only to discover her to not be there.

“There’s only one place she’d go...” Janae told me.

I made my way down and opened the door.

She was right.

“...there was another before you, but she got out. There’s a time machine in the laundry room. That was their place. That’s where she goes to think.”

“How’d you find me?”

“Your bunkie.”

“What do you want?”

“What’s going on? Why are you being so weird?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said standing up.

“Are we not friends anymore?”

“Friends,” she said with a sarcastic chuckle.

“Can we please sit?” I gestured to the inside of her hiding spot. She backed up slightly to let me further in to the time machine and we both sat down. Neither of us said anything for a while until I did,

“I’m not gay...”

She nodded her head with a sad smile on her face.

“...but I’m not straight either. I’m just me. I’ve dated guys, I’ve had experiences with girls-”

“Experiences? But you’ve never dated a girl?”

“No, but for the past few weeks, I’ve really wanted to,” I said with a slight smile.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because of this. I didn’t want to say something stupid and mess this up. And because I’ve never dated a girl before, but I have dated guys, I didn’t want you to think I was using you. I thought that because I don’t identify as anything, you wouldn’t like me back.”

“I thought you didn’t like me.”

“I didn’t want you to get hurt.”

“Look, I got my heart broken not too long ago by a girl that promised me forever. She didn’t identify as anything either and she ended up falling in love with a dude when she got out. We were both in a dark place when we met and getting to know each other and eventually falling in love helped. I could’ve given up on love and fate, but I haven’t yet. Look, maybe this-..this connection that we have, challenges what you thought you were. And maybe I'm gonna get my heart broken in a thousand different pieces again. But those are maybes. You can't live your life according to maybes.”

The next few months were bliss. Poussey and I have connected on a level I didn’t know was attainable. 

Today is Valentine’s Day and right now we’re back in the time machine. We’re both laying down, holding each other and looking up at the ceiling. 

“It’s about a woman named Dannie who’s this a high-powered corporate lawyer. She’s one of those types who has everything planned out. The story has a lot of twists and turns because her five year plan goes differently than she thought.”

“So why is it your favorite if it’s so inconsistent? For a woman who knows what she wants “Dannie” sure seems okay with settling.”

“It’s my favorite because it mirrors me. It mirrors us. In five years I saw myself at some job a teenager would have with my only responsibility being my phone bill.”

“What do you see now?”

“I see me with our dog, Keith, holding signs with your dad on your release day. Then I see us heading to our apartment where you can see it for the first time in person. Then we’ll go to our jobs, pay rent, and hound our parents for travel money.”

“I’m in your future?”

“You are my future.”

She gave me a kiss when there was a bang on the cardboard door, “Hey kids! They’re doing interviews in the bunks,” Boo informed us.

When we got to her dorm, there were a few guards asking ladies questions about love.

“Does anyone else want to be asked questions?”

“Yeah, I do,” Poussey said while raising her hand.

I feel Taystee put her elbow on my shoulder, “What the hell?” The rest of the family comes around.

“Okay Washington, what is love?”

“Love. It’s just chilling, you know? Kicking it with somebody, talking, making mad stupid jokes. And, like, not even wanting to go to sleep, ‘cause then you might be without ‘em for a minute,” she looked at me, “And you don’t want that.”

•taglist: @mina672

[voguingtodanzig]

THE CELESTIAL JUKEBOX, PRESENT TENSE - 250 SONGS

Again, some of this is personal and sentimental, linked to time and place and experience.

50 Cent, “Many Men (Wish Death)”

100 gecs, “800db cloud”

10,000 Maniacs, “Candy Everybody Wants”

Bryan Adams, “Everything I Do”

Herb Alpert & The Tijuana Brass, “Spanish Flea”

America, “Sister Golden Hair”

Julie Andrews, “My ​​Favorite Things”

Animal Collective, “Brother Sport”

Aphex Twin, “Tha”

Fiona Apple, “Extraordinary Machine”

Louis Armstrong, “What a Wonderful World”

Ash, “Shining Light”

Atlantic Starr, “Always”

Atlas Sound, “Washington School”

Autechre, “Vose In”

The B-52s, “Deadbeat Club”

Bananarama, “Cruel Summer”

The Beatles, “All My Loving”

Beck, “Girl”

Belle & Sebastian, “Seymour Stein”

Benoit & Sergio, “Boy Trouble”

Beyoncé, “Countdown”

Bikini Kill, “Alien She”

Bilal, “West Side Girl”

Bjork, “It’s Oh So Quiet”

Black Dice, “Pigs”

Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, “Stop”

The Black-Eyed Peas, “Imma Be”

Blast Off Country Style, “Cutie Pie”

Blondie, “Heart of Glass”

The Bloodhound Gang, “Your Only Friends Are Make-Believe”

The Box Tops, “The Letter”

Brainiac, “I Am A Cracked Machine”

Michelle Branch, “Everywhere”

Laura Branigan, “Gloria”

The Breeders, “Off You”

Danny Brown, “Gremlins”

James Brown, “Get Up I Feel Like Being a Sex Machine”

Jackson Browne, “Somebody’s Baby”

Vanessa Carlton, “A Thousand Miles”

Harry Chapin, “Cat’s in the Cradle”

Tracy Chapman, “Fast Car”

The Carpenters, “Yesterday Once More”

Julian Casablancas and the Voidz, “Human Sadness”

The Chemical Brothers, “Free Yourself”

Chixdiggit!, “My Restaurant”

Cibo Matto, “Sunday, Pt. 1”

Ciara feat. Missy Elliott, “One, Two Step”

Clipse, “Dirty Money”

Jim Croce, “Operator”

Crosby, Stills, and Nash, “You Don’t Have To Cry”

Christopher Cross, “Ride Like the Wind”

Cryptacize, “Mythomania”

Crystal Castles, “Air War”

Culture Club, “Karma Chameleon”

Terrence Trent D’Arby, “Sign Your Name”

Daft Punk, “Around the World”

Dave Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick & Tich, “Hold Tight”

Dead Kennedys, “Kill the Poor”

DeBarge, “The Rhythm of the Night”

Deerhoof, “+81”

Deerhunter, “Octet”

Depeche Mode, “Personal Jesus”

Dial, “Helium”

The Diplomats, “Dipset Anthem”

DMX, “Stop Being Greedy”

The Doobie Brothers, “Black Water”

Dr. Dre feat. Snoop Dogg, “Nuthin’ But a G Thang”

The-Dream, “Love King”

Duran Duran, “Hungry Like The Wolf”

Bob Dylan, “Positively 4th Street”

The Eagles, “Lyin’ Eyes”

Eat Skull, “Cooking a Way to be Happy”

Elastica, “Connection”

The Everly Brothers, “All I Have to Do is Dream”

The Ben Folds Five, “The Battle of Who Could Care Less”

Eleanor Friedberger, “Stare at the Sun”

Eminem feat. Dido, “Stan”

Brian Eno, “Cindy Tells Me”

Eurythmics, “Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)”

Extreme, “More Than Words”

The Fall, “Glam-Racket”

Roberta Flack, “Killing Me Softly With His Song”

Flipper, “Ha Ha Ha”

Dan Fogelberg, “Longer”

The Free Design, “The Proper Ornaments”

Fur, “Devil to the Lamb”

Garbage, “Only Happy When It Rains”

Judy Garland, “Over the Rainbow”

Kevin Gates, “Paper Chasers”

Ghostface Killah, “Shakey Dog”

Freddie Gibbs, “20 Karat Jesus”

Godspeed You! Black Emperor, “The Dead Flag Blues”

Gorillaz feat. De La Soul, “Feel Good Inc.”

Go Sailor, “I’m Still Crying”

Granddaddy, “A.M. 180”

Colleen Green, “I Want to Grow Up”

Green Day, “Basket Case”

Grimes, “REALITi”

Gucci Mane, “Break Ya Self (Brrrussia version)”

Guided By Voices, “Teenage FBI”

Harvey Danger, “Flagpole Sitta”

Helium, “XXX”

Keri Hilson, “Pretty Girl Rock”

Hole, “Malibu”

The Hollies, “All I Need Is The Air That I Breathe”

Michael Jackson, “Rock With You”

Jay-Z, “Hard Knock Life”

Henry Jacobs, “Guitar Lesson”

Jawbreaker, “Fireman”

Jeremih, “Oui”

Jewel, “Standing Still”

Jimmy Eat World, “Sweetness”

Billy Joel, “Uptown Girl”

Scott Joplin, “The Entertainer”

Journey, “Don’t Stop Believin’”

Juelz Santana, “Mixin’ up the Medicine”

R. Kelly feat. T.I. & T-Pain, “I’m a Flirt (Remix)”

Kool and the Gang, “Celebration”

Lana Del Rey, “Off to the Races”

Lagwagon, “May 16”

The Libertines, “Horror Show”

Limp Bizkit, “Re-Arranged”

Lindstrom, “Where You Go I Go Too”

Lisa Lisa & Cult Jam, “Lost in Emotion”

Lit, “My Own Worst Enemy”

The Lonely Island feat. T-Pain, “I’m on a Boat”

Lotus Plaza, “What Grows?”

Lower Dens, “Candy”

Courtney Love, “I’ll Do Anything”

Love As Laughter, “Idol Worship”

M.I.A, “Bamboo Banga”

Madonna, “Hung Up”

Madlib, “Mystic Bounce”

Stephen Malkmus and the Jicks, “Ramp of Death”

The Mamas and the Papas, “California Dreamin’”

John Mayer, “New Light”

Meek Mill, “Dreams and Nightmares Intro”

Men at Work, “Safety Dance”

George Michael, “Faith”

The Modern Lovers, “I’m Straight”

Modest Mouse, “Heart Cooks Brain”

The Moldy Peaches, “Nothing Came Out”

Chris Montez, “The More I See You”

Alanis Morissette, “Head Over Feet”

Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat, “Lucky”

MXPX, “Party, My House, Be There”

My Bloody Valentine, “You Never Should”

Nas, “The World Is Yours”

Johnny Nash, “I Can See Clearly Now”

Neu!, “Hallogallo”

New Order, “Subculture”

New Pornographers, “The Laws Have Changed”

Wayne Newton, “Danke Schoen”

Harry Nilsson, “Jump into the Fire”

Nine Inch Nails, “Wish”

Nirvana, “About a Girl”

The Notorious B.I.G., “Warning”

Maura O’Connell, “Summerfly”

The Orb, “Little Fluffy Clouds”

Panda Bear, “Mr Noah”

Pavement, “Harness Your Hopes (BBC Evening Session)”

Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth, “They Reminisce Over You (T.R.O.Y.)”

Liz Phair, “Shane”

Pinhead Gunpowder, “I Am An Elephant”

The Platters, “Only You (And You Alone)”

The Pointer Sisters, “Jump”

Michael Praetorius, “Es ist ein Ros entsprungen”

Elvis Presley, “A Little Less Conversation”

Primal Scream, “Keep Your Dreams”

The Prodigy, “Breathe”

Propaghandi, “Anti-Manifesto”

Brian Protheroe, “Pinball”

Psychic Graveyard, “No”

Public Enemy, “Fight The Power”

Aileen Quinn, “Tomorrow”

Radiohead, “A Wolf at the Door”

Gerry Rafferty, “Right Down the Line”

Bonnie Raitt, “Something to Talk About”

The Ramones, “Chain Saw”

Otis Redding, “(Sittin’ On) The Dock of the Bay”

Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, “In Motion”

Lou Reed and Metallica, “Junior Dad”

Rihanna feat. Jay-Z, “Umbrella”

Kenny Rogers and Dolly Parton, “Islands in the Stream”

The Rolling Stones, “Sympathy for the Devil”

Linda Ronstadt and James Ingram, “Somewhere Out There”

Rosemary Krust, “Private Amber”

Diana Ross, “Theme From Mahogany”

Roxy Music, “More Than This”

A Savage, “Eyeballs”

The Shangri-Las, “Leader of the Pack”

Shanice, “I Love Your Smile”

Ed Sheeran, “Thinking Out Loud”

Sightings, “Yellow”

The Silver Jews, “Blue Arrangements”

Alan Silvestri, “The Back to the Future theme”

Paul Simon, “Kodachrome”

Ashlee Simpson, “Pieces of Me”

Slade, “Cum On Feel the Noize”

The Smashing Pumpkins, “Here’s to the Atom Bomb (New Wave version)”

The Soft Pink Truth, “Do They Owe Us A Living?”

Sonic Youth, “Jams Run Free”

Jordan Sparks and Chris Brown, “No Air”

Spoon, “The Mystery Zone”

Starving Weirdos, “Land Lines”

Stereolab, “Plastic Mile”

The Strokes, “12:51”

Swell Maps, “Let’s Build A Car”

Taylor Swift, “Style”

Stylophonic, “R U Experienced”

Jazmine Sullivan, “Mascara”

Suicidal Tendencies, “Institutionalized”

Taco, “Puttin’ on the Ritz”

James Taylor, “You’ve Got a Friend”

Pyotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky, “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy”

Throwing Muses, “Not Too Soon”

TLC, “Baby-Baby-Baby”

Tortoise, “Djed”

The Toys, “A Lover’s Concerto”

John Travolta and Olivia Newton-John, “Summer Nights”

A Tribe Called Quest, “Can I Kick It?”

UB40, “Red Red Wine”

Joe Walsh, “Life’s Been Good”

Scott Weiland, “Paralysis”

Steely Dan, “Do It Again”

Stiff Little Fingers, “Suspect Device”

Stylophonic, “RU Experienced?”

T.I., “What You Know”

Mary Timony, “Blood Tree”

that dog., “I’m Gonna See You”

The Tymes, “So Much In Love”

Ultimate Painting, “Out in the Cold”

The Unicorns, “Child Star”

The Velvet Underground, “The Gift”

Waka Flocka Flame, “Hard in da Paint”

Ween, “Even If You Don’t”

Weezer, “Endless Bummer”

Kanye West, “Devil in a New Dress (G.O.O.D. Fridays version)”

WHAM!, “Wake Me Up (Before You Go-Go)”

White Hassle, “Oh, What a Feeling”

Matthew Wilder, “Break My Stride”

Bill Withers, “Lean on Me”

Wolf Eyes, “Human Animal”

Stevie Wonder, “My Cherie Amour”

Wye Oak, “Siamese”

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs, “Maps”

Yo La Tengo, “My Heart’s Reflection”

Zaimph, “Removing Bits of History”

The Zombies, “Time of the Season”

[bby-d1p]

Chapter 1!

Date: August 2,2017

Time: 8:04 am

P.O.V: LaMelo

Location: 📍BBB Estate📍

"ughhhhh!" I groaned and rolled over at the sound of my ugly older Zo brother pounding on my door for me to get ready for school. "tell him to get up he won't listen to anyone else but you and big baller. And as you can see big baller ain't here." "What if he doesn't remember me- it has been two years Zo."I got closer to my door listening to the odd conversation outside of it. Whoever Zo was talking to had a HEAVY New York accent."Ay melo get u- ow!?!"i yelled as i felt the hard wood hit me face "oh my bad" A lightskin girl said. She had to be about 5'4, her hair was out in its natural dark brown curly fro. She had piercings and tattoos all over. She's pure pressure not gonna lie "I know i'm cute but you done staring down at me, we do have school?" she said. "uh why would I be taking you to school I don't even know your name let alone how you got in my house?" I asked genuinely confused. "Zo I told you he wouldn't remember me!" She yelled down the hall."oh well" Zo yelled back, I gave her a confused look. "Wait are you deadass right now?" she asked her voiced cracked in the smallest way. "Uh yea ion think we've met before." I said still confused. "oh I'm Azlia but you can call me Azi."She stared at me for a little longer than usual."No I wanna call you mamas " I said smirking and pulling her close "Ion think ya girl would be okay with that." Azi said laughing and pushing me off her. I already love her laugh and I just met her. "Ion got a girl what is you talking about?" I asked. "Melo stop playing and come downstairs." She said grabbing her bookbag "I made pancakes , sausage and eggs your plate is in the microwave ." Azi said running down the stairs "Thanks" I smiled"No problem." She returned it."Damn Azi you got him using his manners he ain't said that since 08 " Zo said. "How is Denise  doing." I said while flicking him off " Pretty swell actually" He said smiling."um no she actually  mad at you right now."I said laughing "fuck you" I scrunched my face up."no thanks save that for- wait you can't even save those two inches for Denise"Zo chased me around the kitchen counter."Shut up  bitch" Azi was dying the whole time "I'll see you at school Melo ok." Azi said grabbing her keys and wiping her tears from laughing. "why don't we just take the lambo?" I asked . "Um I don't think you little girlfriend would be okay with that. " Azi said laughing bring this 'girlfriend' up once again. "Um what little girlfriend." I said "you serious?" Azi and Zo said at the same time. "Yea I don't have a girlfriend" I said laughing. "Pops melo said he don't got a girlfriend.I heard she clipped you." Zo said laughing. Some bald man walked in and said " melo what are you talking about you and Ashley broke up? He asked with a confused look on his face "I don't know who you or this Ashley is."I raised an eyebrow."Boy if you don't stop playing and take yo ass to school." He said in a serious tone. "Momma who tf is this in the kitchen." I asked "hold on moms I'm coming." Zo said as he went towards the living room. "you better watch ya mouth wild boy" he said "Aye bald bitch- " Before I could even finish ,Azi have covered my mouth which I wasn't expecting because I'm 6'5 and she's 5'4. "Momma who is this and why do you have to walk with a cane?"My voice cracked "Melo? You....ok?" She asked her words were spaced apart and she was stuttering . "Yes no I don't know I wake with zo banging on my door, then Azi a girl that I barely know no offense, "none taken", hits me in the face with my own door, some random man is in the house, you have a cane and your words are spaced apart and you're stuttering ." I said rambling with tears threatening the brim of my eyes. No one said anything they all just stared at me. There were three knocks on the door and Zo had beat Gelo to it zo flicked him of and started dancing "hey babe" some girl i'm assuming was Ashley walked through the door. Zo sucked his teeth and rolled his eyes. Gelo snickered. "Why are you here?" Ashley asked Azi with slight annoyance in her voice. She was cute I guess but she wasn't anything compared to Azi "I'm here because i'm wanted to be here can't say the same about you though." Azi said shrugging he shoulders Zo, mom, and Gelo snickered "ughh whatever" Ashley said rolling her eyes. Azi didn't looked fazed at all."If yall are tryna prank me it ain't workin. idk who you are so don't call me babe, the only person i want to call me that is Azi." I said Azi I both blushed but tried to hide it by looking at her toes those perfect little toes.I an into toe-suckin ight but if I was damn "Huh" everybody I palmed myself in the face "Thinking out loud " I said shrugging my shoulders."Melo, baby you alright?" this Ashley girl but this timed she tried to kiss me. "aye bruh Ion know who you are but you need to chill with allat." I said annoyed "I'm out man Azi you coming?" I asked "uh no I can take my car I'll be fine" She with a genuine look on her face. I got in hopped in my lambo and Ashley soon came running and knocking on my window. "What? I asked. "I thought we were going to school together." "um no were not I don't know who you are." I said pulling off and driving to school.Soon Going Bad by Meek Mill Featuring Drake filled the speakers of my car. I saw Azi pull up next to me at a red light blasting the same song. I motioned for her to roll her window down. "What ?" She asked "first if you wanna be like me just say that, second-naw don't do that if anything you wanna be like me" she said cutting me off. "uh excuse me ma'am; second , if I win this race I get to take out on a date." I said smiling showing my pink and green braces. "No ya lil girlfriend would not like that." she said I rolled my eyes "She is not my girlfriend!" I said hitting the steering wheel"Ok whatever you say just know yo ass finna get blasted in this race." She said cockily before I could even say anything back she rolled her window up. It was a strait shot to Chino so there aren't any turns or anything. Azi started revving her engine so I started revving my too. As soon as the light hit green we zoomed off. she cut me off and I as taken back a little by the way she was switching lanes. Azi can drive her ass off. I wasn't gone let her punk me like that so I had to drive past her just to be funny. I saw her flipping me off through my rearview mirror and I laughed to myself about how goofy she is. As soon as I pulled into the Chino parking lot I saw Azi's green car parked in my usual spot. "looks like you can't take me out on a date". Azi said cocky manner and popping her invisible collar. I hopped out my car. "Um I do what I want I'm gonna take you on a date" i said wrapping my arms around my waist and burying my face in neck kissing it a little. I don't know why but I felt like I had a strong connection to this girl somehow. We were at my locker by now."Dip chill"she moaned a little "You can't be grabbing on me like you used to you got a girl ok."She huffed "I don't have a girl me and Ashley never dated and if we did or still do were over i'm gonna tell her after school!" I said annoyed I heard sniffles behind me "If that's how you feel melo then so be it." Ashley said. "No that's not what I meant.I don't remember anything at all." I said annoyed once again. "I don't want to sound harsh or break your heart but when I feel a certain way I'm gonna explain how I feel.I'm sorry but Ashley but when I'm with you I don't feel anything." "Melo chill out I'm not worth fighting for, You and Ashley are well were together until you said what you said I can't get tangled up in your mess again." Azi said with her voice cracking once again. "why do you think that? when i'm with you I feel something that I think that I've felt before. I just I can't remember anything I'm tired of having to choose between people over and over again." I said with tears threatening my eyes. why am I being so emotional? "I need to get to class." Azi and I said at the same time. I swear I'm falling in love with this girl already.We laughed and went our separate ways. Ashley just stood there looking dumb.

Science

"Mr.Ball you're late." My science teacher said I sucked my teeth and kept it pushing my day was already being fucked up. I heard heels clicking behind me "Yo you good?" My teacher asked me "Yea? how old are you?You don't sound like a teacher" I asked. she started dying "melo you a fool bruh for real is everything ok?" "I just said I'm fine can you just go back to teaching." I said with an attitude.There were ooo's going all around the classroom. "Melo ion know what you got going on today but you need to fix. Ian never have I won't have a problem with sending you to the office." she said she sound like she was from New Orleans. I rolled my eyes and went to my seat. "Aye melo you good bruh" some bronwskin boy asked me.He had a nose peircing and half his dreads were red and the other side black. "uh yea" I said keeping it cool and giving signals ian wanna talk. "ight whatever you say dip." he said shrugging his shoulders. "how do you know my- uh nevermind my day is already shitty enough." i said i plugged my headphones and started watching Trollhunters on Netflix not caring about what was going on.

Azila pov

Math

"why are you late Ms.Williams?" my math teacher questioned me. "oh my bad I had to deal with something before class." I said shrugging my shoulders.I'm already over this day. I can't get myself wrapped up in his mess not again, I have to figure out what's wrong with melo he's seemed so off this morning.

SKIP SCHOOL

Melo Pov

"You trippin ian finna go over there ion know them people." I said pissed my day has just been bad all around. "your going...ok." Mommy said .

After two hours of being around people I didn't know, i finally got home. "To prove there is nothing wrong with me why don't we go to the doctor?" I proposed "come on mommy let's go to the doctor " i said with puppy eyes "no" she mushed me "mommmmmmyyyyy pleaaasseeee" I asked annoying her on purpose again."ugh fine" mommy said. Out of nowhere Ashley facetimed me "How do you have my number?"I raised an eyebrow "listen dip I don't know what's going on with you but you need to cut the act. You've been so distant lately and I wanna know why." "I haven't been acting distant I just met you this morning." I hung up and walked towards the car.

15 mins later

"The Ball family,your number room is 082200"

"ooou my birthday" i said dancing "me-lo" my mom just laughed I love when she's happy.

We all got up and walked towards the door

"Hi I'm doctor Amanda Johnson and what will we be discussing today?" She asked, she was really perky, a little too perky "Well melo here started acting unusual this morning".The bald dude said touching my shoulder I started to yank away but mommy gave me that look. "How"? "Well he was saying-Let Lamelo" talk she cut off gelo. he stared in disbelief "I don't think I was acting weird.I woke up to get ready for school and zo and this girl Azi were talkin outside my door and the she hit me in the face with it. I asked her who she was yadayadayada apparently that bald dude is my dad and I got in to it with my science teacher who im guessing i was cool with?." I said recapping everything that happened this morning. "Ok um I'll need to do just a little check up height, weight, the usual." she said I stood up out the chair "holy sh- um how old are you?" she gulped you could hear how intimidated she was when I stood up. "I'm 16." I said nonchalantly."sixte- nevermind lonzo can you help me with the stadiometer" she was like 4'11 "sure" zo said in a weird tone. I sat on the little bed thing. She checked my heartbeat and allat good stuff. "Everything seems to be fine." she said hopping off the stool and started typing away on he desktop."Hmmmmm" The doctor said with a blank stare looking at the computer that's why I hate doctors you never know what they're saying smh. "?Well?" I said "Well there might be a scan that we can do next week to see what's going on with you because that "bald dude" is your dad in fact".She put quotations around bald dude and gave me a weird look. "lady no disrespect but i'm pretty sure i'd remember who my dad is." I said returning her confused look zo slapped the back of my head."ow" I whispered rubbing the back of my head. "Alright I'll see you guys next week." "th-thank you! mommy said.

Later...

Azlia Pov

"Uhh yea oh wait let's get the purple confetti instead." I said to Lee. Today is my mom's birthday so I'm tryna go all out. "Target has better balloons and candles." I said walking out of Walmart "Azi we've been to 8 stores already, are you sure?"Lee said laughing "Yes I'm serious, Mom is turning 42 we gotta go bi-" Before i could finish my sentence my phone started ringing.Incoming cal from Him💕 "Yes?" I smiled"nothing I just wanted to see you're face" he said laughing I rolled my eyes . Before lee could say some shit I muted the phone."Is tha- Yes it is lee now mind the business that pays you" I laughed and unmuted. "why'd you mute ma?" he questioned "Lee was saying outta pocket shit about how I'm always at target." I said rolling my eyes. "You literally got to target Every day!" Melo exclaimed "You in my business don't do that." I laughed"I'll call you later ok? Alright byebye." I hung up"It's his contact name still being him with the heart for me." Lee shut up and help me look for balloons" I said laughing."Tell me why simi just texted me and said: Ik you at target or Walmart get me sum gummywors" I laughed

Aziiiiiii😒

Fuckkk no

                                          Simi😊👎

Azi rs stop playing

Aziiiiii😒

Fine troli or Haribo?

                                                  Simi 😊👎

              Troli🙏

Aziiiii

Sike you thought hoe😊

                                     Simi😊👎

fuck you monae

Azi😒

Ahhhhhh not the middle name💀😔

read 5:14 pm

Fine i'll get you some

*not delivered*

Simi?

*not delivered*

Aye ho- I mean simii?😃

*not delivered*

Azi

tell simi unblock me or he aint gettin shit

                                                                    Teneal😘

just like that bett!💀

Teneal😘 sent a voice message

"Azi said unblock her or you aint getting shit. Im tellin momma" She laughed and Simi yelled

[remmushound]

Turtle mix and match; part 1, team one - 2003 Leonardo, 2018 Raphael, 1987 Donatello, 2014 Michelangelo, 2012 April.

The first of a short fic called Turtle Mix and Match! The turtles and April’s of five different worlds are mixed up, and chaos ensues!

Leonardo woke up, except it wasn’t like waking at all. It was like the blink of an eye, and the dojo of his sewer home changed into a building on the surface, old and haunted by the smell of mildew and cobweb. A building without any sign of life, vines creeping through shattered windows and the air still enough to send a chill up his shell.

He felt almost numb with astonishment as he took a step and the old rotted floor nearly gave way beneath his heavy form. He jumped out of the way before it could take him down with it, catching himself in a roll that sent him tumbling out into open air. He was on earth— or at least somewhere similar— but everything around him seemed almost apocalyptic in its isolation. Every building (the ones he could see that is) were the same as the one he had found himself in; old, overgrown, and dead. Dead in the sense that there were no humans, but in their place plants and weeds grew through the cracked asphalts and forgotten walkways, making a new world out of the stone. Beautiful, in a way, like something out of a fairy tale.

“This has the Shredder written all over it...”

“HELLO!”

The voice was distant, but it was something. Something living, something to break the silence. Something other than himself that was trapped just as he was. He ran toward the shout, pressing on through the tangled vines and getting himself snagged on thorns more than once; by the time he made it through to the other side, small beads of blood speckled his green skin, but the scratches were nothing to him.

“Hey! HEY!”

He saw their silhouettes from afar, two of them, but as he started to close the distance between them, both he and the other team stopped dead in their tracks. One silhouette was massive, even larger than Raphael, with a broad shell in clear view even against the suns blinding light. The second figure was small, his head just barely reaching the larger ones chest, a weapon in his hand. A bo staff in his hand...

“Donnie... Raph?”

“Eh. Not quite.” The smaller turtle said as he and his companion continued to approach until Leonardo could make out the details of their appearance.

“MIKEY?! Oh... oh wow, you really are... Donnie... and Mikey? Holy shell.”

“Don’t go passing out on us, now.” The monstrous excuse for a Michelangelo said. “Man, is everyone else here gonna be shorties? Gotta admit, kinda digging being the bigger brother for once.

“Do you remember me?” Donatello asked.

“Oh my god...” Leonardo laughed and let out a heavy sigh. He remembered four tiny turtles invading his world almost a year prior. He rubbed his face to bring himself back to reality, “yo— you’re—“

“Listen, we’re just as confused as you.” The Donatello said.

“Yeah! I didn’t even get to finish my pizza!” The Michelangelo said, and then quickly pouted, “and it was a good one too.”

“I remember you.” Leonardo Said, pointing to Donatello. “I do! I— I do remember!”

“And I remember you; this guy is from a third timeline.”

“There’s three?!”

“Technically, there should be infinite worlds, but there’s no telling how many of us are here right now.”

“Where exactly is here?” Michelangelo asked, to which both Leonardo and Donatello shrugged.

“No clue.” Donatello said.

“All I know is one second I was training with my brothers in the dojo and the next I’m in some wasteland! This has to have been Shredder— or the Damiyo’s son, he did this once before.”

“Who?” Mikey inquired.

“Listen, We’re all in the same boat here!” Donatello got in between the orange and blue turtles, barely half their size but standing strong eight way, “You wanna find your brothers and we wanna find ours— the easiest way to do that is to work together—“

The speech was interrupted by a powerful crash rippling through the air and making all three mutants nearly jump out of their shells in shock.

“Well... that sounds like a place to start?” The Michelangelo suggested with a shrug.

“Come on.” Leonardo almost immediately shook away the panic growing in him so it could be replaced with a determined curiosity. “Let’s go.”

~~~

He was alone. That was all he knew; he was alone and he was scared and he had no idea where he was, but he was surrounded by enemies. The shadows in the corners of his eyes, gone in a flash when he turned to look, fading away to be replaced with more monsters. Monsters monsters monsters. Monsters that wanted to peel him out of his shell and eat him whole. Danger. Dangerous monsters that would kill him if he didn’t kill them first.

Kill... kill... smash... smash them to pieces!

He had to crush them, but he could never move fast enough and each blow came crashing down on something else— on trees and bushes and anything in his path that could be hiding a monster.

“Raph?!”

~~~

The giant, lumbering beast turned to face them. His mouth hung open and foam dripped out over his chin, a yellowed snag tooth protruding out over his bottom lip and glistening with his slobber. When he spoke, his voice was slow and slurred like a drunk person, his white eyes glistening back to color.

“Brothers?” The spiked Raphael said.

“Finally!” Michelangelo groaned, motioning toward the Raphael, “Someone else with clothes on!”

“BROTHERS!”

The seven foot mutant charged them and Leonardo reached for his katana, pulling the blade into a defensive position. The snapper skidded to a stop, a hurt look spreading across his face as he gave a pout.

“Leo...?” He shook his head, and his voice changed, “Leo? You’re... not Leo...”

“Take it easy.” Donatello held his hands up in a peaceful surrender.

“You’re not Donnie... you’re not Mikey...”

“We are!” Donatello said, “Technicslly. Just not the ones you’re used to.”

“Oh...”

“Do you remember what you were doing before you were teleported here?” Leonardo asked, keeping his weapon ready in case the Raphael went savage again; he could see the destruction left in the wake of the massive beast and could only imagine what would happen if that was turned on a human— or a mutant.

“Yeah, I was in the middle of a Lou jitsu marathon!”

Donatello stroked his chin curiously, “Do you have any enemies who might’ve... had it out for you?”

“There’s Big Mama.” He suggested.

“And I have Kraang. Maybe... maybe our enemies are working together? I can’t see why any one enemy would want to go against all of us— especially those they’ve never even met! Unless it was some type of mistake...” Donatello trailed off into his own thoughts.

Leonardo took a deep breath. “The best thing we can do is look for anything that might tell us what happened, to us or our brothers, and work from there.”

“Good thinking, Leo!” Raphael seemed far too accepting of the situation, “Okay Mad Dogs, follow me!”

Nobody moved.

Raphael looked between the turtles and gave an awkward hand signal.

“Follow me...?” He repeated slower.

“Why?” Leonardo asked slowly.

“Why?” Raphael looked around and gave an awkward laugh, “c... cause I’m the leader?”

Silence was all the statement begot, followed soon after by a howling laughter from the other three mutants.

“What’s so funny?” The Raphael huffed.

“Wait— you—“ Michelangelo fought for his breath through the laughter, “you’re serious?”

“Yeah, obviously!”

That only brought more laughter.

“Is there something I should know about?!” Raphael put his hand on his hip. “Or are y’all just laughing for no reason?”

“Uh, yeah. We have a reason.” Leo gave a last chuckle. “I’m the leader.”

Raphael was taken aback by that. “No... I am...”

“Nuh uh. Me. Always been be.” Leonardo insisted.

“That— that can’t be! That’s impossible!”

“Here we go.” Michelangelo covered his ears.

“Oh yeah? Why’s that?” Leonardo shot back.

“Oh no...” Donatello hid behind Michelangelo.

“Because we both can’t be leader! Or wait... maybe...” Raphael’s eyes met Leonardo’s, “we... co-lead...?”

[connorswhisk]

mistletoe ain’t all it’s cracked up to be

Summary: This holiday season, Bitty's devised a plan: stick mistletoe over every doorframe in the Haus.

This is fine. As long as Ransom makes sure not to walk into a room with Holster under any circumstances, it's fine.

Ugh. He hates this stupid plant.

also on my ao3

“Ok, you lost me,” Holster says. “Why haven’t you done this before?”

Bitty huffs, clearly none too happy about being interrupted. “I don’t know why you don’t want to hear about the new cookie recipe my Mama found, especially considering you’ll end up eating half of them, Adam, but fine. I didn’t put up mistletoe frog year because I wasn’t living in the Haus yet, and I didn’t put it up last year because I waited too long and the Stop ’N Shop ran out.”

“Wait, wait,” Ransom cuts in. “Murder Stop ’N Shop or Smelly Stop ’N Shop?”

Bitty sighs and gives him a Look, but Ransom just shrugs. It’s an important question.

“Murder Stop ’N Shop, who do you think I am? I don’t want my mistletoe stinkin’ like the LAX team’s locker room.”

(“Nice,” Holster says, nodding sagely. Ransom elbows him.)

“Anyway,” Bitty says. “I went ahead and got there early this month.” He lifts a sprig triumphantly. “And here we are. Pick me up.”

Holster crouches, grabs Bitty around the middle, and holds him up to the front doorframe.

(Ransom tries not to stare at the strip of skin showing as Holster’s sweatshirt rides up. It takes a lot of effort.)

“That should do it,” Bitty says once he’s back on the ground. “Thanks, y’all. I’m gonna go get baking, now.”

And he heads off to the kitchen.

“Got any plans?” Ransom asks. 

Holster shrugs. “Annie’s?”

“Sure.”

They start for the door at the same time, and then Holster flings out an arm and Ransom stops. 

“Oh,” he says, looking up at the cheerily green plant hanging narrowly close to directly above their heads. “Right.”

Holster steps through first, and after a beat, so does Ransom.

Holster’s smiling, eyes crinkling at the corners underneath his glasses. “With the amount of time we spend walking through doorways together, it’s bound to happen eventually,” he jokes. 

Ransom snorts. “You wish,” he chirps back.

What he doesn’t say is, That’s what I’m afraid of.

— — — 

It’s not like Ransom’s never kissed Holster before. They’re on a hockey team, they throw a lot of kegsters, large quantities of alcohol are consumed, it isn’t difficult to do the math. But those occasional drunken make-outs are just that: drunken make-outs. They don’t mean anything, not in the way Ransom wishes they could. They’re sloppy, and quick, and they taste like tub juice, and Holster seems to always end up spilling his beer on either himself, the floor, or Ransom, and they’re pointless, just a bit of fun, and…

And from what Ransom can remember of them, really fucking hot. When your best friend is a 6’6 Adonis with killer abs and eyes bluer than the Pacific ocean, that’s kind of unavoidable. It’s also why Ransom’s so terrified of all this mistletoe.

Kegster kisses don’t have to count, and they don’t. But under the mistletoe? A time-honored, over-done, clichéd holiday tradition? Odds are, if they get stuck under there, they won’t be drunk. And while Ransom knows that Holster will have no problem kissing him and then having a laugh about it, Ransom’s not sure how well his brain’s going to process the inevitable. 

He’s in love with Adam Birkholtz, and there’s really nothing to be done about it. Ransom can’t ever tell him because it’ll ruin their carefully cultivated bromance, their fucking co-captaincy, kick everything out of sync, throw a wrench into the coral reef and eff it up entirely. Holster isn’t going to return his feelings, and Ransom still can’t come to terms with that fact.

He doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to do that.

— — — 

“Yo, you want me to bring you back some latkes after break, right?”

Ransom scoffs. “Dude, is that even a question? Of course. You’re sure your dad won’t mind?” he tacks on as an afterthought.

Holster rolls his eyes, panting a little with the effort of bench-pressing the weight across his chest. “Are you kidding me? My dad like, gets off on cooking for other people. We can’t take him to potlucks because he ends up bringing a whole buffet.”

Ransom laughs. “Nice. I’ll make sure to get my auntie to bake you some of her ginger snaps.”

Holster sets the barbell back on the hooks and sits up, grinning widely, a drop of sweat trickling its way down from his temple. “Don’t tell Bitty, but Auntie Oluransi’s ginger snaps are probably better than his.”

Ransom says, “Careful he doesn’t hear you say that, or you’ll be banned from pie-eating for a month,” and then, “Spot me?”

“Duh,” Holster says, and they trade places.

Ransom’s just about to start lifting when Holster whispers, “Dude, check it.”

Ransom pushes himself up on his elbows and glances over at where Holster’s looking. Nursey and Dex are standing in the weight room doorway, staring up at the mistletoe Bitty had stuck to the top the week before. Nursey’s eyebrows are raised and Dex’s face is starting to redden. Chowder’s standing by, looking unsure of what to do. Ransom knows they’ve got about ten seconds before the yelling starts. 

“I mean,” Holster says, shaking his head as Dex shouts out an, Are you kidding me, Nursey?!?! “You’d think they’d realize that they don’t actually have to kiss. It’s just mistletoe.”

“Right,” Ransom says, lying back down to start lifting. “Just mistletoe.”

And then he starts thinking that even if he and Holster ended up in that situation, Holster might not even want to kiss him. He might just walk away.

Ransom isn’t sure which is the better alternative.

— — — 

He ends up getting screwed with Jada Forrester, who usually sits near him when he’s studying in the library. Ransom’s not actually that into her - sure, she’s nice, and she’s pretty cute, and she does this thing when she’s concentrating super hard where she bites down on her lip a lot, but he’s never really considered asking her out. Holster must have gotten the sense that Ransom’s more into her than he really is. 

Jada’s wearing this red Christmas dress that looks real nice on her, and she’s got a string of tinsel in her hair, and sparkly gold eyeshadow, and glitter all over her face. Ransom feels a little underdressed in his knitted sweater with the ice skates and hockey pucks on it, but his date doesn’t seem to mind, so he tries not to worry about it too much.

“This is fun,” Jada yells over the music, some bass-heavy remix of “Sleigh Ride” that’s making Ransom’s head buzz.

“Yeah,” he shouts back. “Do you want to get a drink?”

Jada nods, grabs Ransom by the hand, and pulls him over to the kitchen where the alcohol is.

“I never know what to get,” she says, staring at the table. 

“Mmm,” Ransom hums, not really paying attention. He’s just noticed Holster and Pauline Fishbein making out in the hallway. It isn’t a super heartening sight.

It’s not like Holster hasn’t had his fair share of girlfriends and hookups. It’s not like Ransom hasn’t had his, either. They’re open about it with each other, give each other dating advice and consolation after bad breakups, like any friends do. It’s normal. It’s casual. It’s not a big deal.

It’s just that this is the first year that Ransom has known how he feels about Holster. And now it seems like maybe it was all a big deal, after all.

“You like him.”

Ransom nearly jumps out of his skin. “What?”

Jada hands him a snowflake-patterned solo cup of beer and takes a sip of her own. “Adam.” She nods towards the hall. “You’re into him, aren’t you?”

Ransom stares down into his drink. “Would you believe me if I said no?”

“Not really. It’s a little obvious,” Jada says, shrugging.

Ransom’s pulse quickens. “Oh,” he says, and takes a long drink of beer. God, this is awkward. “I hadn’t realized.”

“I mean, anytime I saw you in the library, he was with you,” she continues. “And half the time you were leaning on his shoulder while you worked.”

“Uh - “ Ransom is pretty sure that half of said shoulder-leaning was automatic, that he did it without thinking because he knew that Holster would let him. The realization isn’t exactly helping his case.

“It’s ok,” Jada says, nodding. “I don’t mind. I’m guessing he doesn’t know, since he set us up.”

“No.” Ransom swallows. “He doesn’t know. I don’t know how to tell him.” He looks up at Jada. “You’re not pissed off?”

“No way, dude,” she says, eyes getting big and shaking her head. “I’m honestly just here for a good time. I’m not really looking for a hook-up or a relationship or anything.”

“Oh. Ok.”

She rolls her eyes. “Man, lighten up. How likely is it that Adam’s gonna keep seeing this girl after this party?”

Ransom shrugs. “It depends. Sometimes he goes out with them afterwards, sometimes not.”

“Ok,” Jada says. “So there’s a pretty good chance he won’t. And, bro, I’ve seen the way he looks at you. I wouldn’t be surprised if he returned the feelings.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“I’m not!” she exclaims. “Seriously. Even if he isn’t into you, he’s still your best friend. I don’t think he’ll freak out if you tell him.”

“Right,” Ransom says, taking another, smaller sip. “Ok.”

Jada drains the rest of her cup. “Whatever, forget I said anything if you want. Let’s keep dancing.”

Ransom finishes off his beer, too. “Yeah, let’s keep dancing.”

They’re leaving the kitchen when Jada suddenly stops. 

Ransom frowns. “What’s up?”

“Huh,” Jada says, looking up. “Mistletoe. I didn’t even notice it when we came in.”

“Oh,” Ransom says. “Oh, yeah, our teammate put them up. I kind of forgot about them.” He looks at her. “Um. You don’t want to…?”

Jada raises an eyebrow. “Shut up,” she says, gives him a quick peck on the cheek, and drags him back out to the living room. 

Ransom spends the rest of the night drinking and dancing with Jada. He doesn’t catch sight of Holster and Pauline Fishbein again, and he doesn’t think much about it until he goes up to the attic at three in the morning and finds them in Holster’s bunk, asleep. 

He doesn’t do anything, just turns out the light and stares into the dark for what feels like hours before finally drifting off.

— — — 

Ransom manages to be in the kitchen by two. Bitty’s already in there of course, way too chipper for the morning/afternoon after Winter Screw, or any Kegster, for that matter. 

“Morning, Ransom!” 

Ransom winces. “Bits. Loud.”

Bitty rolls his eyes. “Oh, whatever. Not my fault you got drunk last night.”

Ransom’s about to fire something back when Bitty shoves a plate of scrambled eggs and a mug of his coffee in his hands, effectively shutting him up.

“I love you,” he says, and Bitty hums and goes back to whatever it is he’s doing at the counter.

Ransom sits down and mindlessly scrolls through his Twitter feed, shoving his face with eggs and trying to wake his brain up. He doesn’t really have much to do today, but he absolutely hates being hungover, even a little bit, so the sooner he gets out of this stage of post-Kegster blues, the better.

“Yo, are those eggs?” 

Ransom glances behind him. Holster’s alone. Pauline must have left.

Good.

“Here you go,” Bitty says, swooping in and giving Holster his own plate and mug. “And that’s the last of it, so if you want more, you can make it yourself.”

“Nice.” Holster sits next to Ransom, knocks shoulders with him casually, and digs in.

“Have fun last night?” Ransom asks. 

Holster shrugs, mouth full. He swallows. “Yeah, it was all right.”

Ransom looks back down at his phone. “Ok.”

“How’d things work out with Jada?”

“We just hung out,” Ransom says. “Nothing really happened.”

Holster frowns. “Oh. Shit, did I fuck up this year?”

“No,” Ransom says quickly. “It’s fine. I still had a nice time, we just…we didn’t end up doing anything.”

Holster’s quiet for a second before he nods. “Yeah, ok. Sorry, bro, I thought you were into her.”

Ransom shakes his head. “Don’t worry about it.”

Holster smiles. Ransom’s chest hurts.

“Hey,” he starts to say, though he has no idea how he’s going to finish. “I - “

He’s interrupted by Bitty blasting Beyoncé through the Bluetooth speaker, making them both wince. Nursey (who’s apparently been passed out on the couch this whole time) groans loudly, and Bitty calls, “Sorry, but it’s about time the rest of y’all got up!”

“You think Jack would let him get away with that if he were still captain?” Holster mutters. 

“Dude,” Ransom says. “I think Jack would let Bitty get away with anything. That man is whipped.”

Holster snorts and knocks his shoulder against Ransom’s again. Ransom grins.

— — —

“What time is your flight?” 

It’s an hour later, and they’re sitting on Holster’s bunk watching random episodes of 30 Rock. Ransom may not always get the hype, but he does enjoy watching it with Holster a lot, even if he’s not always paying attention. It’s been a pastime of their’s since at least sophomore year.

“Ugh.” Holster groans. “It’s at nine.”

Ransom shrugs. “Being at the airport at night is kinda fun.”

“Yeah, I guess. It’s just, y’know. Kegster.”

“Right,” Ransom says, smirking. “This is why I’m leaving tomorrow.”

“Shut up.” Holster watches Liz Lemon cram a sandwich down her throat, and then he says, “I’d totally wolf my Teamster sub for you, bro.”

“Dude, I still don’t really understand what that means,” Ransom says. “But thanks. And I guess I’d do the same for you?”

Holster grins and holds out his fist. “Fuck yeah, bro.”

Ransom taps it with his own. “Fuck yeah.”

And their hands don’t really stop touching even after they fist bump, but Ransom doesn’t freak out about it, he totally doesn’t freak out about it. Nope. Not at all.

It’s not like it’s never happened before.

— — — 

“So. Latkes?” Ransom asks.

“Chyeah,” Holster says. “Latkes. Ginger snaps?”

“Ginger snaps,” Ransom agrees.

They’re in the living room. Holster’s about to leave for the airport. Ransom had offered to go with him and see him off there, but Holster’d told him he didn’t want to put him through the holiday season blitz a day earlier than Ransom has to, which, fair.

The Haus is uncharacteristically quiet. Everyone else seems to be packing to go home, too.  Ransom hasn’t even started yet, and the fact is grating at the back of his mind, but he hasn’t packed because he spent the whole day with Holster, so it’s justified.

“Well,” Holster says, adjusting the straps of his backpack and stepping backwards onto the porch, roller bag in hand. “See you in the New Year, yeah?”

“Right. See you then.”

Ransom hugs him, long and tight and full, and when he leans back, Holster whistles and says, “Hey. Mistletoe.”

Ransom freezes. No. No way. Absolutely not.

He looks up, and that stupid green plant is smiling cheerily down at him, white berries glimmering, and Ransom silently and fiercely curses it, tradition, Bitty, the holiday season, and all plants in general because why is this happening this is not supposed to happen.

“Oh,” he says, barely able to hear himself over the rush in his ears. “Yep. Haha.”

God damn it, he’s spent all this time making absolutely sure not to walk through any doorways at the same time as Holster, always on the lookout for any mistletoe, Bitty’s or otherwise, and now, on the last day that it could possibly happen, he forgets. 

Of course.

“Well.” Ransom clears his throat. “Well, we don’t have to - “

“You don’t want to?”

Ransom stops. Blinks. Holster doesn’t look embarrassed, or upset, or - or anything really. He’s just sort of looking at Ransom, shrugging. “I mean, why not, right?”

Fuck. Holster’s just standing here in his Falconers cap and his Samwell hoodie and that same stupid pair of sweatpants that he’s always wearing, and he’s about to leave for the airport to go home for two weeks, and Ransom is not going to kiss him, he isn’t, he can’t - 

“Right,” Ransom says. “Why not.”

Shit. 

Holster’s eyebrows knit together. “Hey, I mean, it’s totally cool if you don’t want to. We don’t have to kiss.”

“I…” 

Holster breaks eye contact with him. “It’s fine, bro. I mean, I was halfway joking anyway - “

Ransom kisses him. It’s quick and messy and a little bit wet (gross), and it’s also really, really nice.

“Oh,” Holster says once Ransom leans back. “Ok then.”

“I’ll see you next year,” Ransom says. “Next year.”

“Yeah,” Holster mutters, blinking. His cheeks are dusted a rosy pink color, and Ransom can’t be sure if it’s from the cold or what. “Yeah, yeah.”

Ransom holds out a fist. Holster seems to shake himself awake. He grins and bumps it.

“Have a good time, bro,” he says.

“Have a good time,” Ransom repeats. He’s still not totally sure what just happened.

“Say hi to your sisters for me!” Holster calls out as he’s getting into his car. 

“Say hi to yours!” Ransom calls back, and once Holster’s gone, he shuts the door, slides down the wall, and just sits. 

He doesn’t know what’s going to happen now, but he does know that this is gonna be one hell of a New Year.

[lagamorph]

My favorite Quotes from the 3rd part of the Sam and Max Game

Sam's Answering Machine Message: Hi Sam, this is yourself. Don't forget to listen to the answering machine messages and give Max a smack from me.

Max's Answering Machine Message: Hi Sam, this is yourself again. Don't forget to erase the answering machine messages before you listen to them, and give Max his own battle tank, from me.

Sam: It's not gonna be all laughs and dispepsia little chum

Sam: Let's mosey                                                                                            Max: Is that legal now?

Sam: You don't have ten million bucks on you, do ya little buddy? Max: Not today, but we could always hustle somebody if you want to!

Sam: I think I've had enough of you for the moment Max: Okay, but be sure to stock up for later

(At Teddy Bear's Casino, talking to the front guard "Lovey Bear") Sam: Holy domesticated ursums Max! Lovey Bear here's got the same head as that hypnotic teddy bear from Myra's talk show Max: You think that little talk show bear had a litter of giant babies?

Sam: You give tokens to first-time costumers? Lovey Bear: That's right, go on enjoy, live a little. Sam: It just seems like bad business sense Lovey Bear: Okay, tell you what thirteen hours from now, when you're trying to pawn your little friend here to pay off the vig, we can talk then about bad business sense. Max: Ok! We'll come back then!

Sam: My high school guidance counselor was right, I should've become a mafia hitman

Max: Look! There's the prize! Sam: As advertised, it's an almost entirely worthless, Ted E Bear refrigerator magnet Max: Hey, let's find someone with a metal plate in their skull and redecorate their forehead! Sam: Oh Max, you really know how to find the bright side of everything, don't you Max: Yes I do, now let's go shoot something

Max: You ever consider that we might be card sharks? Or shark sharks? The kind that eat people for being overconfident?

Leanord Snakecharmer: Look, I'm here to play poker, are we gonna get this dog and bunny show on the road or what?....Oh and try any funny stuff with your partner and I'll shoot you both!

(Looking at a clown decoration in Ted E Bear's Casino) Sam: That is one shiny nose Max: Almost as shiny as yours! Sam: Keep it up and you'll get a shiner too

Max: Let's go see if we can play Whack-da-Rats ten million times in a row without passing out

Bug: I've seen them kill larvae, larvae! Max: (GASP)

(When prompted to "bug" Max) Sam: Nah

(Sam after talking to Max) Sam: I feel better, thanks Max: I'm a little frustrated that I wasn't able to work the word glockenspiel into out conversation but, you're welcome

(After putting a product on Bosco's sale table) Max: I hope we don't lose Bosco's friendship over this Sam: Me neither, he's my second favorite delusional paranoid Max: Awwww!

Max: So now we get to be toy mobsters right? Sam: Not yet, our journey to the dark side has just begun

Sybil: It's funny how stress can reduce you to just a bundle of mindless reflexes Max (to Sam): Is that what happened to me? Sam (to Max): Wouldn't it be wonderful to think so?

(After Sam puts ketchup in a coffee mug) Max: Can I get a grande ketchup macchiato with extra foam? Sam: You crack me up little buddy Max: Who's joking?

(After Leanord Snakecharmer is revealed to be holding them at gunpoint with a capgun) Sam: Sic 'im little buddy! Max: I thought you'd never sic! (Max attacks Leanord)

Sam: That's right Max, it's time to pull out... the Yo Mama jokes! Max: Yay! Leanord Snakecharmer: No not that! Anything but that! Sam: Leanord, yo mama's so fat, uh she's so fat... oh curdled goat's milk on a warm summer day! I can never remember the punclines Max: That's funny, I remember all the punchlines, but I can never remember the setups Sam: Well then Max, I think we'll have to break this two-bit varmit as a team!

Sam: It's working! Let's keep it up little buddy Max: Okay! Making grown men weep, a fun pass time for the whole family

(After being caught by the Toy Mafia) Max: Should we run now? Sam: Perhaps so Harry Moleman: Get them! Sam: Head for the car little buddy

(When prompted to shoot Max) Sam: I can't really shoot him can I?

(Max, pretending to die in front of Sam) Max: You gotta promise, to... TiVo the Dukes of Hazard for me! Promise me!

(After Max fakes his death and lays on the ground) Sam: You okay little buddy? Max: I could use a mattress

Max: Sam! Nothing's stopping you! The world's your slimy malodorous oyster Sam: You know Max, you're right!

Sam: Stay put, I'll work things out. By the way, I'm glad you're not dead. Max: Me too! If being dead is half as boring as pretending to be dead, I'm never gonna do it

Max: Nice work Sam! Sam: Thanks pal!