#crappy cartoon

[nicnavarrocage]

Greeny Phatom is such a stupid cartoon, man.

[clarktooncrossing]

Giraffe's Eye View: Christmas Specials Special (2023) | The Christmas Tree

Chestnuts are roasting on an open fire. Jack Frost is nipping at your nose. Mom and dad can hardly wait for school to start again. All the dogs in the neighborhood somehow learned to bark Jingle Bells in sync. Yet retail workers are still more annoyed with Mariah Carey. Snow is getting shoveled, tossed, and formed into sentient beings leading parades without permits. It makes for an excellent distraction as the Krampus abducts children for bad behavior. Fruitcake is exchanged only to find its permanent home in the garbage. Terrorists have hijacked the Holiday office party right before your boss can give you a Jelly of the Month Club membership as your bonus. And of course, the Turducken has returned to wreak its fiery vengeance upon an unsuspecting world! If all this doesn’t put you in the Christmas spirit, perhaps these following Holiday specials will!

Greetings people of today and robots of tomorrow! It is I, Santa Clark, your geeky giraffe friend with a deep love of Christmas! My obsession for the yuletide is rivaled only by Maleficent’s hatred for it, which is saying a lot considering she once teamed up with Mad Madam Mim to kidnap the literal Spirit of Christmas. Yes, that really happened. I know this due to my annual pilgrimage to the Island of Misfit Specials, home to obscure or nerdy festive media ranging from movies, TV episodes, and comics. It’s no easy journey. Constantly I find myself confronted by sinister snowmen, genocidal gingerbread men, and worst of all, crappy commercials. Getting stabbed in the foot by a candy-cane wielding cookie is one thing, but I swear I’ve seen that ad for Wilbur’s White Elephant Gift Emporium more times than I’ve seen Miracle on 34th Street! Sometimes at night I catch myself reciting that jingle. Wilbur’s White Elephant Gift Emporium: Where Christmas meets Convenience! Huh, maybe Maleficent had a point.

Nah, my deep-rooted appreciation for this time of year can weather even the most moronic marketing! It helps that most of the merry media I’ve seen have put me in the perfect Holiday mood! Examples include the time a Ninja Turtle found himself trapped in a truck full of stollen toys, a drunk department store Santa stumbling onto a wish-granting magic bag, Big Bird nearly becoming a popsicle, Gwenpool waking up in a world where Galactus took the place of jolly ol’ Saint Nicholas, a terrifying tree stump trying to slaughter some saps over a stupid ship war, and the year when Death gave the Little Match Girl the greatest gift of all. Needless to say, I thought I had seen it all. That is, until I took my friends on a trip to the Island, tasking them to find me new, strange, seasonal specials to review! Some of them were fair, finding me festive favorites as comforting as coco in front of the fireplace. Others were fiendish, wanting to feed off my misery like Gremlins after midnight. Regardless of how naughty or nice my companions were, I’ve compiled all of their suggestions into a makeshift advent calendar! So stay tuned everyday until Christmas to see how badly my buddies can shred what little sanity I have left.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my buddies gave to me...

Wow, this movie is so despised that tumblr doesn't have any GIFs of it. Yup, sounds 'bout right.

Fellow brony Rigby (RigbyH00ves) must’ve thought he was so clever. Ha ha, he chuckled and clucked, that’ll show that geeky giraffe! Nobody can withstand the tinsel-coated turd that is The Christmas Tree! It was banned by the Geneva Convention for being too cruel! If Santa really wanted to punish naughty children, he’d drop a DVD copy of this in their stalking. Chuck Jones died in vain! So how could that nerdy nitwit with the long neck possibly survive this? An evil grin no doubt spread across the sadistic stallion’s face. Yes, that evil equine got the better of me. Or at least he would’ve had I not streamed this Christmas crapshow on my Discord server. Bundled alongside other seasonal stinkers, a fun time was had by all as we mercilessly mocked this animated abomination. So despite my buddy’s best efforts, I actually had fun while watching this infamous fruitcake of a film. The consensus amongst my companions and I was unilateral: this freak’n sucked!

Every aspect of this movie was wrong. Not just bad, wrong. Starting with our story. If you thought the Rat King and Lord Zedd ranked high on the vile scales, you haven’t met Mrs. Mavilda (Helen Quirk)! She’s a wicked woman who mistreats the orphans under her care. Meals consist of gray slop while she dines on bountiful banquets. All their clothes are torn and tattered, save for whenever Mr. Mayor shows up to inspect the premises. That’s when they’re forced into fancy clothes to fool the pitiful politician. Once he hands over the two sacks full of cash he carries on him for some reason, Mavilda immediately strips the two tikes down to their undies. I know this because the camera lingering on their half-naked bodies longer than necessary. Classy! Where’s all that money going, you ask? In the pot at her next poker game. Not only does she gamble with money meant for lonely children, she keeps losing every game! Kenny Rogers once sang you’ve gotta know when to hold’m and when to fold’m. Someone should tell this lady never to touch them. One wonders how she even keeps the lights on if she’s this terrible at Texas Hold ‘Em. Either way, the kids suffer for her crippling addiction. They’re not even allowed to keep a dog they find named Licorice. Not because their cruel caretaker is allergic, she just hates happiness. Saying it’s a hard knock life would be a gross understatement!

What little hope they get comes from a singular pine tree sprouting fourth from the hill in the backyard they’ve named Mrs. Hopewell. In reality this balsam fir is actually Mr. Mavilda, reincarnated after his betrothed butchered and buried his body in the backyard. He had been kind to the kids and had learned of his wife’s embezzling scheme but was sadly powerless to stop her. Now he’s back, hungry for vengeance! Let the snow run red with the blood of his wife! All shall love Hopewell and despair!

Ha, I wish. Nah, it’s just a plant.  An inanimate object. Zero chance of it telling the pipsqueaks to feed it fresh dentist. Still, how freak’n sad is that? Their only companion in this crazy world is a freak’n tree! Really makes Whatsherface’s subplot from Power Rangers feel that much more pointless, doesn’t it? Maybe she should’ve been visited by the Care Bears! Heaven knows they’re not gonna help these kids in actual need.

Instead help arrives in the form of Judy Kindle (Karen Drygas) and her family. Having recently arrived in the small community of Townville, they meet up with Mr. Mayor to ask for a job. Makes perfect sense, obviously. Next time you’re seeking employment, go directly to your local mayor! He assigns Judy’s husband to the coal mine where he effectively disappears from the story. I actually forgot he existed until the very end when he just randomly appears to contribute nothing. They could’ve had him die in the mines and I still wouldn’t have cared. Guy got sidelined by a tree, he should fire his agent! Judy fares better, paired up with a plucky fox to solve a missing mammals case in the big city. Wait, sorry, I was thinking of a far better piece of cartoon content. Of course she and her two children end up at the House of Hopewell. 

Judy immediately ingratiates herself to her young charges by reading stories, packing picnics, helping to hide Licorice, even building a playground around their tree. Granted that must be horrifying for Mrs. Hopewell, having the remains of your dead relatives placed around your body. It’d be like Hannibal Lector giving you a jacket made out of your cousin. Eh, whatever makes the kids happy! She even introduces them to Christmas since apparently they hadn’t heard of it until then. And so, Judy wolves a magical tale of gumdrops and penny-whistles. She told of toy-making elves and flying reindeer. But best of all, she told of the one they call Santa Claus. Granted they kind’a tuned out when Santa’s postman pal was revealed to have been lying this whole time, otherwise they were intrigued! Especially since Mrs. Mavilda never let them have a Holiday before. For as I’m sure I’ve made clear by now, she’s a three triple-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce. 

She’s also a piss-poor poker player. Mr. Mayor, seeing firsthand how well Judy’s handled her duties, delegates more tax payer dollars so she and Mavilda can buy gifts for the rascals. The latter immediately loses it all to a rival that clearly cheated. Lady, what deck of cards feature five aces? I call bull! A mindset mirrored by Judy when she confronts her boss, recovering from a hangover the following morning. Deciding her underling has got to go, she conspires to bury her next to Mr. Mavilda with the aid of Horace and Jasper’s slow cousin, Dennis. By that I mean the dastardly duo plan on planting something on Judy so the cops’ll think she’s a thief. Right, cuz evidence can’t be planted or dusted for fingerprints to prove the poor woman didn’t do it. The orphans, having overheard the sinister scheme, decide they have to find help. Their first option is Mr. Mayor, but none of them know where he lives. Seriously, is this guy the only authority figure in this town? Seeing no other option, our pint-sized protagonists pick the next best thing: Santa Claus! Magnificent little bastards, I’ve read your book! Finding Santa’s super secret workshop up in the North Pole must be easier than finding some rich dude’s mansion!

Unsurprisingly, it's not. One of Judy’s kids, Lilly, almost dies from a bear attack! Looks like the bare necessities got her in the end! Her mother hasn’t time to worry though, Mavilda and Dennis are about to chop Hopewell down! Before the deed can be done, Mr. Mayor drives up and finally notices how crappy the children have been treated. He vows that their tree won’t be touched right as Mavilda makes a break for the chainsaw! Good lord, this woman is wicked! Did nobody hug her when she was younger? How has she not been visited by the Ghosts of Christmas? What does she do in her spare time, punches puppies and kick kittens? She makes Luthor Krank seem charitable in comparison. Somebody stop this lunatic!

Deciding enough is enough, Mrs. Hopewell summons lightning down from the heavens to strike down her foe where she stands! And you all scoffed at my reincarnation theory! May this serve as a warning to all non-believers. Never piss off the pines! Lest you too spend the Holidays in hell!

Pfff, okay, so Mrs. Mavilda doesn’t die. Neither did Lilly. She was saved by a Santa Claus who shouldn’t be near schools! Some sadistic cartoonists spent too much time detailing this freak’s face! Holy crap, if this guy was promoting Coca Cola there’d be a notable uptake in Pepsi drinkers. Meeting this menace wouldn’t make riding the Polar Express worth it at all! I joked before, but is it too late to turn Klaus back on? Thankfully eerie ol’ Saint Nick leaves as soon as he arrives, giving the orphans some much needed new outfits while raining presents down from the sky. As for Mavilda, that bolt scrambled her brains, turning her good because logic is for losers! Judy even hires her on as an assistant, though hopefully not a financial one. Like The Narrator says, you always win if you are good. Are we sure this script wasn’t written by orphans?

Needless to say, the narrative is brainless. Yet like an onion, it’s just one of the many mayors that makes you cry the further you cut into it. There’s also the terrible voice acting. Remember when I insulted the young actors from Care Bears? I apologize to them all, they may as well have been the cast of A Charlie Brown Christmas compared to these tikes. For that they hired legit kids to play the Peanuts gang. Here it sounds like they force-fed dialogue to random kindergarteners before settling for the first take. Granted the adult actors are already abysmal and children aren’t exactly known for always delivering great performances. Really, I feel sorry for any child cast in this crap. I sincerely hope each one of them are living long, fulfilling lives away from show business. Having said that, they still brought great shame onto their households. Every line delivered results in Mel Blanc rolling in his grave. Teacher says everytime this movie’s watched, an angel dies!

Having said all that, the worst aspect by far is the animation. Good lord this special is ugly to look at! Not a lot is known about this picture’s production, save for that it was overseen by acclaimed animator Flamarion Ferreira. His filmography includes He-Man and She-Ra, Pink Panther, Animaniacs, Tiny Toons, Phineas and Ferb, and Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero. You’d think the guy would know how to depict believable movement, lip sync dialogue, or do something as basic as draw engaging expressions. Calling this a cartoon would be an insult to the medium! All the movements are rigid or sudden, no dialogue comes close to syncing up with the mouth movements, and the expressions are what nightmares are made of. Those twin girls haunting the Overlook ain’t got nothing on these orphans! Oh but if you can’t think it can get worse from here, believe me, we’re taking a turn down a different street.

[thatonedudeinthecorner]

[putting two fingers to my head] The spirits….they….they’re telling me that…..you’re GAY….

[emeraldotter]

morning routine

[ohfugecannada]

Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) | Marvel’s Rocket & Groot: Space Walk (2017)

[pervertedkitty]

i have been drawing transformers for 2 years so here is a redraw of the first digital pic i did for it, through to be fair i actually have done pretty few digital pieces since

but it seems i had bumblebee pegged form the start 🤔

[i-really-like-phrogs]

I’ve decided the world needs more Beetlebones. Badly drawn or not.. here I come!

[kply-industries]

[sallufix]

Random oncie idk😭😭 im just having like my 88th artstyle crisis and i have to experiment on crap again rrraagh. But hey, atleast it works as filler content for my followers out there ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯ Yall are too special for me to just leave in the dust

Anyways... THE NINTENDO DIRECT, HELLO???? NEW?? LAYTON????GAME???? i was at school when the news came out and i started jumping up and down in my seat i started going FERAL my classmates were like 2 meters away from me out of fear

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

"New face, new problems"

So... yeah. Just crappy one-shot, because I wanna write something with Dobson.

"Will you stop telling me how to run my business? I'm your boss, and it's not for you to question my business methods!"

"Oh-ho-ho, methods, you say? If your goal is to bankrupt your shop, then your methods are just fine!"

Julian and Lewis both sighed tiredly at the same time. It had been six months since Morris and Pierre had been fighting almost every morning. In Pelican Town their constant swearing has become so commonplace that the other residents who pass Pierre's shop are no longer surprised by the noise.

Exactly six months ago the Community Centre was rebuilt, and the supermarket, hated by many residents, was closed and replaced, more recently, by the Cinema. As much as Lewis had tried to understand how the young farmer had been able to contribute to the building of the cinema venue so quickly, Julian still kept it a secret. The mayor of the town did not resent him for this: after all, he realised that the grandson of his late friend was a kindly fellow, and had always tried for the good of the town from the day he arrived in Stardew Valley.

Julian had even been kind enough to shelter Morris, who was left without a job (and as it turned out, without money and a home). Although the former manager complained that the farmer himself was partly to blame for his dismissal, in the end Morris swallowed his pride and agreed to live in a cosy cottage.

He still considered Stardew Valley his home, he really did want what was best for everyone. And he would like another chance to correct his mistakes and become a full member of this small community.

The most interesting thing is that when Morris was looking for a job in the town, Pierre was the first to take it. Surprisingly - his main competitor, with whom he had crossed paths more than once on the warpath for the monopoly of Jojamart - and Pierre was the first to give him a vacancy as a junior assistant in his local shop. Though each other's relationship was strained, to say the least, from the beginning, but later everyone noticed that when discussing future seed purchasing plans or improved marketing, the two could be called buddies.

Which didn't cancel out, however, the constant bickering over the best way to run the business.

When Pierre and Morris had already broken down into shouting, Julian and Lewis wanted to calm the two men down so that the matter would not escalate to a fight. The mayor and the young farmer were overtaken by Caroline, who, standing on the second-floor balcony of her husband's shop, poured a bucket of cold water over the heads of the two instigators of the daily scandal.

It had an immediate effect - they both fell silent and looked up.

"Caroline?! What are you doing?", Pierre's voice was no longer so loud from shock.

"I'm sick of listening to you swearing," The green-haired woman said calmly, but rather sternly. "Either you two stop shouting at each other, or you can forget about dinner."

Caroline went back into the room, slamming the balcony door loudly. Pierre and Morris immediately fell silent, as Morris didn't have enough money to eat properly yet, and Caroline was always calling him for family dinner, and Pierre just didn't want to be without his favourite fried squid. Walking quickly into the shop, they could no longer hear the ringing laughter of Julian and Lewis from the whole situation, and how the unwitting eyewitnesses to this morning's quarrel joined them, chuckling slightly.

While the residents were recovering from their laughter, transport arrived at the bus stop.

A blue coloured luxury foreign car with Joja's emblem visible on it. A young man, who wouldn't stop talking on the phone, got out of the car and put it on the alarm.

"Yes, boss, I've arrived. Yes, yes, the same Stardew Valley where our good-for-nothing manager blew the assignment. Good thing it's our ex-manager now. What? Oh, yeah. You betcha, boss. I'll make sure that even this dump has a shop with our logo. And I'll restore our reputation, don't worry. I'll call you back later for the reports."

Dobson ended his phone conversation and tucked the device into his pocket. Looking at the Pelican Town signpost, he crossed his arms over his chest and smiled a little predatorily.

"Yeah, there's a lot of work to be done here. But I'll make those hard-boiled fools realize the benefits and power of Joja."

[dalllyv]

Idk how to explain this but I've always imagined grace skinner looking kinda like Shelley Duvall and Cy-fy looking kinda like hobbie brown and when I see fanart of them I'm like "wtf who is that"

[lullomakin]

Inktober 2023 - Day 20 - Frost - Lolo from The Adventures of Lolo the Penguin

[crappylilcomix]

we rewatched madoka magica recently

ID/ two people (the artist and their fiancé) sit on a couch, holding hands and crying. Arrows are pointing to them that say "sustaining irreversible psychological damage." Surrounding them are color marker drawings of the 5 main madoka magica characters, without facial features. /end ID

[emeraldotter]

1-hr sketch from my lunch break

[comfortsnow]

"I don't like this show it's all just recycled animation" as if that is not the appeal ......

[magiqfetus]

I've been reading up on the Erin frost thing and I feel rlly bad for them. I don't hate Viv and I hope that she learns from this. I'm not condoning her actions, but it's obvious she's a young and overly sensitive creator who kinda needs to be put in her place. I support Erin 100% no one deserves to have their passion for art stripped away from them.

And this is how "antis" or "haters" make things worse. People have been dogpiling on Viv for so long and now any criticism seems like senseless hate towards her. Viv reminds me of Rachel Smythe and Lily Singh. People who are creators who get thrown into stardom so soon and can't handle it. So rejection immediately gets to them and they take it personally. So any critique is immediately just hate and they surround themselves with 'yes men' I still like these creators, but this is a rapidly growing problem with the internet. People becoming famous too fast.

I know Viv will never read this, but if you're a fan or a hater l, I'll just leave this out here.

You can suck but still learn from your mistakes. What you've done is inexcusable but you're clearly a young creator thrust into the limelight. Take this and learn from it. Apologize for your actions, apologize to those you have hurt, actively try to have a better work environment, don't tear down other creators (it always makes you feel worse in the end) and don't be too sensitive to criticism. I know it takes time and work, but learn to separate hate and critique. You are only going to get bigger and bigger with Hazbin Hotel coming out in the near future and Helluva reaching its second season. You need to learn this and grow as I promise that with a bigger audience, you will receive SO much more criticism. Do this before your fans turn on you and you lose your future and waste your potential.