#credit scores are absurd

[tuttle-did-it]

My credit score has gone down 4 points because I paid my credit card bill in full.

I don't really comprehend why that is worth 4 points DOWN.

[tojipie]

Hello my love! I know you’ve been gone for a while but I wanted to stop by and ask if you have any realistic but unhinged toji headcannons? Hopefully this gets you into the spirit of writing again, I don’t mean to overstep. We miss you❤️.

hello sweet anon :( i’ve admittedly been struggling with my mental health a whole ton which is why i’ve been gone but this ask really did help me get back into the groove of writing just a bit <3 thank u for stopping by ! mwah

this is just me saying shit to say it pls don't take this srsly !

content: fluff, mentions of alc, smoking, suggestive talk but not smut, a little angst

was a victim of the xandemic in his late 20s so one of his pupils is a little bigger than the other

initially hated ambulances because of the absurd cost but grew to hate them even more because the attention makes him uncomfortable. oh you want to take his blood pressure? ew, don’t touch him. that’s weird. would rather patch himself up than sit under a gaggle of fluorescent lights for 6 hours in an ER waiting room.

shiu has been a co-signer on every apartment he’s ever rented because his credit score is in the single digits.

picked up vaping on accident after the corner store ran out of cigs when he needed them most. still prefers marlboros because he likes that searing feeling in the back of his throat. throws the cartons out his car window like a freak.

his drivers license is crumpled. like physically crumpled like paper. he has no idea how it happened but when he needs to use it at the liquor store he definitely gets stares.

will forever be devoted to his late wife. mentally at least. she’s the love of his life but in his mind sex with other women isn’t really cheating right? like he uses a condom sometimes so it’s fine probably? he's not gonna stay celibate for the rest of his life. the topic keeps him up at night.

has a scar from an appendectomy right above his v line that women go crazy for. he’s not entirely sure what they like about it but he’s been touched there so many times that it’s morphed into an erogenous zone.

slut for fast food. would rather get a vanilla shake and dip his fries in it till his stomach hurts than spend time at a sit-down restaurant. eats like shit but still maintains his physique, infuriatingly enough.

hates being in public more than you’d think. it’s a deeply uncomfortable feeling that stems from the risk that being discovered poses during jobs. he prefers to have groceries ordered, meals delivered, and shiu take his car down to the shop if needed. if hes out and about he’s either at the casino tables or the liquor store.

is down for whatever if the price is right. like truly. older women love what he has going on which works well in his favor because it puts a roof over his head. absolutely no shame once money is involved.

has tried to get help for his gambling addiction a few brief times. got close once and then decided to hit the blackjack tables to celebrate his progress. he jokes about how things ended up from time to time but deep down he knows it’s pretty serious.

shops at the goodwill bins mostly. made an effort to stop stealing as much because of how dirt cheap the thrift is but couldn't stick to it. likes to go down the jeans isle and look for change in the pockets. his biggest score was a 5 dollar bill that had been through the washer so many times it was practically blank.

there's a little voice in the back of his head telling him to have more kids and he's not opposed to listening.

[valentine-writes]

Can you do enemies to lovers with 1016 Miles?? :3

[ this will be my last req for this account, moving to my new blog officially once this one is up! catch me on @l0vem41l <3 reqs will be open there when i'm ready ＞︿＜ ]

overachiever

「 tws + notes: no tws, unedited, burnout, reader also attends visions academy, reader is trying so so hard to not be mean and fails (im so sorry), one-sided academic rivalry, author doesn't know how american schools work (i am so so sorry), comfort (?) 」

「 gn!reader, can be platonic or romantic <3」

↳ ft. miles morales (1610)

author's note: YES I CAN!!! however,, i put a lil twist on the prompt given and made it academic rivalry (i genuinely cant find a viable reason to beef w/ miles i am so sorry (-﹏-；) !!) anyways! hope this works with you!!! soz itz so short!!! :[[

"wow," your friend's eyes light up, scanning over your test results, "...you've gotta be like, the smartest person i know."

you laugh politely, smiling at them as they hand your paper back. "no, it's really not that big of a deal–"

"what do you mean 'not that big of a deal?! dude, you got 100% on a test most people failed." your friend shoves their paper in your face as evidence– a 57% in red on theirs. "that's like... the highest grade achievable. probably the highest in cla–"

"THIS GUY GOT A 101%!"

everyone turns to the voice– the loud kid who sat behind miles eyeing his test.

you blinked in disbelief. you didn't even know getting extra credit was possible on this one.

miles looked up at the faces of his staring peers faces filled with disbelief and slight annoyance, and fumbled to set his test face down on his desk. he flashed an awkward grin "uh... yeah?"

-

▸ you liked miles. he was friendly. sweet. genuine. you couldn't hate him if you wanted to. no, you didn't feel hate towards him. it was just... jealousy. simple, petty, burning jealousy.

▸ visions academy was something you had to work your ass off for, constantly studying just to stay on the level of the students who attended. NERDS. all of them were nerds. but you were attending this school too sooo,,,

and then there was miles. someone who barely even had to try to get the highest grades. he had you seething.

▸ the most humiliating part was the fact that he had little to no interest in competing with you at all. the few times you had spoken were awkward and curt on your end, and yes– it felt awful being so mean for something as small as personal resentment.

▸ nothing justified your one word responses or the accidental snark that would slip into those few words. you mentally kicked yourself for the times you watched his grin falter because of something you said, miles awkwardly trying to laugh off whatever cold remark you just shot at him.

he'd walk away, dejected, and you'd stand there for a moment– frozen as you fought the urge to run up to him and try to explain yourself or beg for forgiveness. it didn't make sense to at this point. maybe he'd just accept this was the way you were– the way things would be between you two.

▸ so yes, perhaps in your pursuit of favouring school over every other aspect of your life, your social skills were left rotting and underdeveloped. but you knew, deep down, it wasn't just you being awkward.

being around him made you feel small. talking to someone, radiating the aura of someone with a promise-filled future made you look completely directionless and clueless in comparison. the effort you put into your academics was almost repulsive to think about when miles could take a test with a blindfold on and probably still score 90s.

maybe it was the deep set fear that you'd never amount to anything if you didn't burn yourself out trying. all of a sudden, the academic validation of being good wasn't enough. not when you were one of the best once.

▸ you spent an absurd amount of time trying to avoid him, deliberately moving to the furthest corners of the library so he wouldn't see you there struggling to wrap your head around whatever you were being taught in physics.

heavens above forbid that he walk up to you, greeting you with that sunny smile and cheerful voice that could make anyone falter. you may have been jealous of him– but oh, how you hated that feeling that way when he nothing but well-meaning.

-

the last sip of your coffee– long cooled by now thanks thermodynamics– did nothing to make you feel less dead. you had lost track of the time you had spent practically decomposing in this library, studying for an upcoming physics test that had you reeling just by the mere thought of it.

you sighed, staring at the papers strewn on the desk. your hands fidgeted with the pencil in your hand, it's eraser and tip rendered flat and useless by now, as you tried to muster the energy to gather your things to leave. it was much too late. the library would be closed soon and you'd be forced to go back home to study at your own desk in your bedroom.

this was routine. go to school, study in the library until it gets dark, and go home to study more– the next day, you'd find yourself still awake and studying or with a headache, your cheek pressed to the desk, and drool on your notebook. yeah. your bed hasn't been used in a solid while. and science homework isn't exactly the comfiest pillow. but this is what you were used to.

standing up, you stretched out a bit– and immediately froze as a familiar voice called your name. you paused, reluctantly turning to the source of the voice.

"...god, morales–" you huffed, "you nearly scared me half to death."

this is the friendliest you've been towards him in a while, he notices, as you flash him a tiny, crooked smile on your tired face. all potential malice you could have held had been beaten out by your absolute lack of energy.

he approaches you and looks at your desk, considering what to say to fill the silent air. he places a hand on your shoulder, you stiffen–

"hey." miles flashes a grin, not his signature smile but,, somewhat of a forced smolder.

you stare and resist the urge to cringe, wondering if you were sleep deprived to the point of hallucinations. you gently brush his hand off your shoulder.

"...hi?" you respond, unsure of what to do.

miles is snapped out of whatever stupid trance he was in by your voice.

"oh– uh– yeah, hey," he repeats your name again, trying to recover from whatever that was, "is– is everything okay?"

"i could ask you the same thing."

he lets out a little chuckle. "you know what i mean. all... this." miles' hand gestures vaguely to your desk and current state of complete entropy. "how long have you been here?"

you avert your gaze, shame burning in your face. "i... don't know?"

a pause.

miles places a hand on your back this time, in an attempt of friendly comfort. geez, are they keeping you locked in here?" he quips, earning half of a dry laugh from you. "c'mon. you should probably get home and rest by now."

"but–" your lips part in protest, looking back up at him to argue– but he just looks back, concern filled in his dark doe-like eyes. all possibilities of fighting him on this were out the window.

"you need it." he insists, a gentle smile forming on his face. much better than the weird smoulder from earlier, you think. "i'll even walk you there."

before you can speak up, he moves away from you, beginning to help you gather up your things to pack up. you mumble a silent thank you to him, which he accepts happily with a nod.

as he hands over the papers, his eyes scan them. "oh! physics? i love physics."

"no shit, morales." you scoff, snatching up the papers from him and stuffing them in your bag. "it sure seems to love you."

yet again, you've managed to mess things up. you bite the inside of your cheek before you can say anything worse. a sigh escapes your lips, as you decide to at least try and save the interaction.

"look... i'm really sorry. it's been a rough day, i've been struggling to get the concepts down, i'm falling behind and feeling stupid as hell right now, and– to make everything worse, the fucking test is just stressing me out and i just– i just..." you trail off from your ramblings, a sob getting caught in your throat as your shaky hands grip your backpack.

"woah, woah, hey– it's okay."

he slowly puts an arm around your shoulder, careful not to startle you or make you uncomfortable. you don't even realize how you lean into him. "let's just get you home. you've done your best, yeah?"

you nod. he offers you a little smile.

"exactly. and that's enough. okay? you're doing more than you can handle right now." there's a few more shared words as he reassures you.

part of him wonders how long this had been going on– how long you had been working yourself until you broke– mainly because that test that was stressing you out was more than a week away. yeah. he'd need to convince you to watch after yourself more often.

-

"and now a silly one!!!" (more lighthearted hcs below for the aftermath of this becuz goodness me.)

▸ things definitely ease up around miles. if he can't convince you to step away from your work, he's chosen to be able to regulate it.

studying with him in a local cafe is now a frequent thing you two do together. miles always gives you time to work, but will then ever so subtly lure you into moving on from your work to hang out with him normally. and it works. every single time. you might start in the library or cafe, but where you'll be later? always a mystery.

whether it's a walk in the park, going back to his place to chat, or finding some random activity to do, you find yourself bonding with him more and more. your jealousy begins to fade, finding a friend in him instead of someone you have to one up.

▸ you both spontaneously decided to see a new horror movie once and accidentally got miles in trouble with his parents for coming home after curfew. and he'd 100% do it again in a heartbeat if you asked.

▸ no matter what you get on that next test, miles is going to congratulate you like it's the best he's ever seen. he's overjoyed to share your achievements, to celebrate them like no one in your life ever has.

miles holds up his test as you tell him your grade. "you got a 92? hey look– me too!"

a snarky voice speaks up, "well, i got a 98% so–"

"no one was talking to you." miles retorts.

you press a hand to your mouth and look away, trying to stifle laughter. was he always this sassy or did you just end up rubbing off on him?

▸ you both end up being extra studious for the next test (breaks included this time) and he's sure to be extra loud about congratulating you for your perfect 100%

maybe the sass wasn't all you,,, but the minor pettiness definitely is your influence. it's actually not. miles is pretty easygoing,, but man did he not like when that random ass kid gave you attitude.

you smile at miles, ensuring to do the same for him if not, a little louder

"what? 'm complimenting you." you tilt your head at miles' stunned expression.

for a moment, he stumbles over his words. "i know– you just– i didn't expect that from you, so–"

you laugh. "what? you want me to go back to being mean or something?"

miles laughs too. it's hard not to stare at the way he lights up a room like this.

▸ things feel lighter now. you've made social progress with others, you have a life beyond just school– and you have miles. part of you wonders if you'll ever be able to tell him just how much he means to you and how you wish you could've just been his friend from the start.

sometimes, in the corner of his eye, he catches your wistful stare. and though he doesn't utter a single word, you start to feel that he cherishes you just as much.

[possibleblonde]

My Thoughts on Poor Things

This movie was beautiful, and I was mesmerized by nearly every shot; oddly enough, the wide-angle and fish eye shots were my favorite. The unique landscape and vibrant, contrasted world was incredible to see. In some ways the world reminded me of Beau is Afraid, though with a little more garnish whimsy and less outright terror. The fashion, the cinematography, the settings, the score oh my god; technically, this movie is one of my all time favorites

Mark Ruffalo’s character was incredible and he should receive every accolade for his performance. Though I did find it funny to lean over to my sister and say “Hulk SMASH” every time he got into a fight, his embodiment of the character at play was perfect; he felt truly tangible throughout the story. By far, he was my favorite character in the entire movie (his actions despicable, his moral compass disgusting, his arc so fun and nearly theater-esque—“BELLAAA” was one of my favorite scenes, and one I wish lingered longer)

Similarly, Emma Stone’s performance was indescribable. Her physicality and embodiment of Bella was unlike something I’ve ever seen. She was completely believable at every stage in Bella’s journey, and her movement reflected that. Bella’s growing up was so subtle, yet noticeable all at once; by the end of the movie, it was hard to remember where it began.

I can appreciate the subtextual critique of the Born Sexy Yesterday trope, and the feminist themes for what they are. Overall, it was satisfying to see Bella “win” at the end of the day and take control of her narrative. 

However, however.

This trope, this story, is such a unique and powerful metaphor for what women, what girls, go through in their life and in coming to terms with their sexuality, and I was so disappointed by the narrative the movie ended up pushing.

It was so heavy handed at moments when it wanted us to understand what it was trying to tell. When Bella was at the Brothel, after she saw the cruelty in Alexandria, the characters’ practically told us what they wanted us to hear; we nearly had fourth-wall breaks in some of the emotional climaxes of the story.

I wish, I wish, that at any point—towards the end, when Bella learned what she was, towards the beginning, with the proposal of marriage, in the middle, in the climax, during the end credits—that it was a little more directly addressed that these men were in love with a child. Perhaps the absurdity of Mark Ruffalo’s character and his satirical fall to madness, his comedic portrayal and garish nature, was meant as a metaphor to laugh at these men for falling in love with a child. Yet, her true final husband, God’s assistant, is shown in an entirely sympathetic, forgiving and nearly hero-istic light, but he had no qualms with sleeping with her as a child. No, he had issue with sleeping with her out of wedlock. And she is forgiving, understanding, and loving of him (maybe because he doesn’t just love her for her body—but still).

Maybe it is from personal experience, from my own traumatic dealings with sexual assault at a younger age, of my body being treated older than I was in mind, that I find such fault with the message (that I ultimately took away) of “women should be allowed to do what they want with their bodies” and “men should not take advantage of women and treat them as things to be had”. It was a story of one women’s fight for her autonomy; yet at the end, she had no anger, no rage nor hate; she was told by her employer at the brothel that this was the way of things, essentially; she does say at one point that she feels rage—but I don’t think we saw any of that. I think we saw a young woman having a lot of sex in a shitty situation and coming to terms with it, and eventually, making her own way in the world and getting revenge in the ways she could. 

But I wanted to see her cut Mark Ruffalo’s dick off. I wanted to see her scream. I wanted to see her cry tears for her body. I wanted to see her feel something—anything—for the way her autonomy had been taken from her in a tangible way once she came to understand it.

Maybe that was Yorgos’s attempt in the third act, but it was so heavy handed it nearly felt absurd (and not in a good way)—her old husband tried to mutilate her, she turned him into a goat. Girl Power.

This story had such a ripe metaphor for grooming and the sexual exploitation of young girls that it was bursting at the seams. It’s essential to her character the moment she first meets Ruffalo. It is part of her journey, part of her growth; rarely is it addressed directly by the film.

This movie could have been radical, could have been bolder and braver in its message; it had all the makings to do so. It could have been such a moving and empathetic story about the exploitation of young women, of how men have oft viewed girls, of the pain and anger and betrayal of being groomed. And yet, in the third act, it fell flat in the name of a feministic tale it feels has been told through movies throughout time—Barbie, this year, or even Emma Stone’s Easy A. And while these stories are not at fault for their message, and their themes should be shown and are valuable as they are, this movie just had so much potential to do more.

Maybe it is my fault for identifying with aspects of Bella’s character that I felt unexplored. Perhaps it is my undoing that I saw my trauma in hers, that I wanted her to feel the pain that I did when I came to terms with my own experiences. It is possible that I have asserted myself onto Bella, in a lack of feeling that these stories have not been shown so brutally and honestly (as they could’ve been here) before.

Yet I feel it is undeniable that women who have been groomed can watch this movie without seeing Bella, in many ways, as a metaphor of themselves. And it is hurtful that her trauma was left with passive acceptance and forgiveness by all who were there to witness it, that only a man in her past life (a life we did not see) faced true consequence, that at no point in the movie, like other messages, was it directly addressed. Had other themes not been outwardly spoken by the characters so obviously, maybe I would be more forgiving that this one was left to be pieced together.

It is a beautiful and wonderful film that should be awarded for what it is. But I am disappointed for what it could’ve been, and for that it feels hollow. It saddens me more that this metaphor now feels as though it has been used up by this story when it could have been explored for so much more. And now I am left with the feeling that it is my bearing to forgive what I have endured; in many ways this is true, but I somehow leave feeling guilty all the same.

In the end, I am grateful to have watched Poor Things. I would recommend it to the occasionally sexist film buff friend. But I would not recommend it to my youngest sister; though for her, I hope she can watch it and never feel the same as I did. 

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Jessica Valenti at Abortion, Every Day:

Let’s be real. I don’t know how anyone could see last night as anything other than a complete disaster for Democrats, with President Joe Biden coming across as frail and meandering. A lot of the folks I spoke to are feeling despairing, and angry that Democrats ran Biden again when it appears he isn’t up to the task. I don’t know what happens next, honestly, but my plan is to keep looking forward and reminding people about what’s at stake should Donald Trump be president again. Let’s talk about the dismal conversation on abortion (if you can even call it that).

When the moderators asked about Roe being overturned, Trump said exactly what I predicted he would, and in the exact order I listed (he’s nothing if not predictable): Trump claimed that he generously gave abortion back to the states, which now get to decide for themselves; he brought up Ohio’s Issue 1, taking credit for the state enshrining abortion protections in their state constitution and using it as an example of a state getting to decide for itself; and he talked about ‘exceptions’ in an attempt to appear moderate right before launching into nonsense about ‘after birth’ abortion. We knew he would lie, and we knew he would claim that Democrats want to kill newborn babies—because that’s what he’s been saying on the campaign trail. So why, then, didn’t the moderators step in and fact-check him? This is not about getting a number wrong or exaggerating some political accomplishment; he told a lie that puts abortion providers’ lives in danger. [...]

That means that we needed Biden to play the role of fact-checker, and point out the absurdity of his lies—especially on abortion, which should have been the president’s strongest issue of the night. That’s what was so disappointing about the abortion exchange: the question about Roe was a gift to Biden. It should have been the easiest question of the debate, and he should have had a powerful, emotional soundbite at the ready. [...]

Please understand, I’m not highlighting this to rub salt in the wound or further depress anyone. No one needs that. But abortion is arguably Democrats’ most important issue, and Biden squandered the opportunity to reach American voters. And for those people who have been working so hard since Roe was overturned, it was heart-breaking to watch. It was also infuriating. One reproductive rights attorney tweeted that his fumbled answer “was a slap in the face to every woman who has spoken out and fought in court and the press for two years now to make people aware of what’s happening.”

[...] So here’s something we can do right now: make sure Trump’s lies about abortion are called out as just that. For example, I’ve seen a lot of post-debate fact-checking about the ‘after birth’ abortion bullshit (as there should be), but less about what the disgraced former president said about abortion medication. Trump claimed, “the Supreme Court just approved the abortion pill, and I agree with their decision to have done that, and I will not block it.” If you followed the mifepristone case, you know that SCOTUS absolutely did not “approve” abortion medication—they dismissed the case on standing. Mifepristone is still in danger both from other cases that will be brought to the Court, and from the Comstock Act. In fact, the Comstock Act is exactly how conservatives plan to ban abortion without passing a national ban.

Jessica Valenti is 100% correct. Why in the world were the candidates asked about their golf scores on the debate stage Thursday.

[smash-64]

2022 Game of the Year Countdown 2. Panel de Pon Intelligent Systems Super Famicom, 1995

Yeah! FAIRIES!

In early January, @studentofthors​ said she wanted to try this game. I’m not into puzzle games, but I said I’d give it a shot. Between being completely lost and being stomped into the dust, I somehow developed a love for everything this game offers. Gorgeous visuals, overflowing charm, bright colors, funky bass guitar, and a depth to gameplay that far outreaches my humble skills. Panel de Pon is the greatest puzzle game I’ve ever played, and nothing else even registers on the scale.

Let’s start with the visuals. This game is so gorgeous, it’s hard to believe it’s a Super Famicom game. It has highly detailed and animated sprites, each one distinct from the others and displaying each fairy’s personality with the many reactions during games. The backgrounds are also gorgeous, and I just cannot understand why new Puzzle League games have removed this sort of thing. Just look at them!

Everything about this game is charming and upbeat. Positivity is kind of my thing, so seeing a character like Lip is really fun for me. And all of the fairies have detailed and colorful backgrounds.

Even the bad guys have a sort of charm to them. Thanatos is supposed to be scary, but some of his sprites are just ridiculous.

I cannot get enough of the music from this game. Neris’ theme is calm and relaxing, with a really funky slap bass beat when the panic theme kicks in. Flare’s theme is probably the most invigorating tune. Ruby has a great theme, too. And Walking on a Rainbow is one of my all-time favorite credits tunes. It’s just so calming and reassuring.

So, as everyone likes to point out, this game came West as Tetris Attack, rebranded as a Yoshi game. There was an N64 sequel planned, which ended up being rebranded as Pokemon Puzzle League, and while it did eventually get released on a Japan-only puzzle collection for GameCube, it seems like the developers had only one goal in mind for the series: remove ALL charm from sequels. No fairies anymore for Puzzle League games. This is supremely sad for me and honestly kills all desire for me to play the newer versions. I do like the actual puzzle gameplay, but the rest of the game was what really enticed me to begin with.

I cannot even begin to describe the gameplay to this game because it is so deep and complex. However, the basic concept is so simple, you can grasp the goal of the game in mere seconds. Yet, even after a year of playing this game, I’m probably considered barely even intermediate level. Watching tournament finals absolutely blows me away every single time. I’d lose to these people in literally 10 seconds. It’s absurd.

The VS mode is probably where the most fun can be found, as you can do the story mode against CPU opponents, or fight your friends. But there is an endless mode where you can go for a high score, and there is also a 1P puzzle mode where you are given a puzzle and must solve it within a certain amount of moves. There are an astounding 120 levels to this 1P puzzle mode. This game is 27 years old. I love it.

With the addition of this game to the Nintendo Switch Online subscription, you can play it online against anyone in the world. This was how I initially tried the game out, and it’s probably the best thing that ever happened to Panel de Pon. So many people are discovering the game this way, and are able to play against other people online. I even ordered a physical copy from Japan and swapped the board for a donor cart to be able to play it on my SNES. I brought it into work and we’re currently working on an interdepartmental tournament on break time! 

In the past year, I have gotten no fewer than seven people hooked on this game. I guess it’s similar enough to Candy Crush that people took to it quickly, but then stuck with it because it was more interesting and deeper. Take a break from your normal game rotation and check out something different.

[sshbpodcast]

Character Spotlight: Wesley Crusher

By Ames

Grab your favorite hideous sweater! It’s time to talk about Wesley Crusher. He’s one of the most polarizing characters on TNG, with a lot of hate directed his way, but he also has a number of great Trek moments which we on A Star to Steer Her By are going to sort through today!

We can probably blame Gene Roddenberry for making this character so insufferable, especially in the first season when he seemed to have the easy solution for the engineering problem of any given episode. Gene designed him to characterize a person’s infinite potential and then slapdashedly shoehorned him into every place he could, and you’ll notice that right after the big writers room turnover, the child prodigy started feeling more like a character and less like a cheat code. Scroll on for the list below and listen to our chatter on this week’s podcast episode (warp over to timestamp 57:36) for all the dirt. Just unplug your nanite experiment first.

[Images © CBS/Paramount]

Best moments

Don’t shut up, Wesley While I’ll give Wesley the deserved scrutiny in a moment for the absurd number of times in season one of TNG that he saved the day, we do have to give him some credit for figuring out that Lore was impersonating Data in “Datalore.” Even while pretty much everyone on the crew was telling him to shut up, Wes had it all figured out and topped it off by beaming Lore into space.

Double dumbass on you! Wesley actually does get to shine during “Coming of Age,” an episode that really uses his youth to its advantage by having him take the Starfleet Academy entrance exam. And he gets pretty far! He even figures out that Rondon is a Zaldan, so Wesley realizes that apologizing for getting run into himself is the wrong reaction for that culture and comes away looking like a badass.

Teamwork makes the dream work Speaking of “Coming of Age,” Wesley is also this close to solving the dynamics relationships test first when he helps Mordock figure it out too. Wesley’s natural affinity for helping his crewmates is more important to him than getting the top score, which TAC Officer Chang takes into consideration in the final results. I’m not sure it helped much, but it’s a good character moment.

You never forget your first “I'm never going to feel this way about anyone else,” Wesley says to Guinan after watching his first crush leave in “The Dauphin.” Strangely, it’s a very mature little conversation considering Wesley was ready to write Salia off as some kind of alien monster earlier in the episode. But he learns to accept her differences, score some relationship experience points, and get his first smooch.

The minute you walk through that door they’re your team Slowly, the show starts putting Wesley in more age-appropriate situations in which he isn’t just saving the day, so it’s fitting for him to be overwhelmed when leading his first committee in “Pen Pals.” His team member Davies effectively takes over because Wes initially lacks confidence, but he soon takes charge and they work together to save Drema IV. Go team!

You told me to improvise During the war games in “Peak Performance,” Wesley thinks outside the box and retrieves one of his many, many experiments from the Enterprise to use on the less advantaged Hathaway. While Riker initially accuses young Crusher of cheating, no one said he couldn’t sneak tools off the other ship, and it’s that kind of ingenuity that could be useful in a fight.

Begin by letting go of your guilt, Wesley His mother Beverly may be on full display in “Remember Me” as we discussed last week, but Wesley also gets some interesting development. Back in “Where No One Has Gone Before” the Traveler saw potential in the child prodigy, and when the two of them use their special powers here to open the door for Dr. Crusher to return from the warp bubble, we witness some of that weird potential get unlocked.

I’ve done it all because I want you to be proud of me We joke a lot on the podcast that Picard is secretly Wesley’s father, and it’s mostly for laughs. But when we get touching scenes between the two of them like the one in “Final Mission,” we think we may be onto something. Stranded on a planet without water, Wesley keeps an injured Picard alive (can’t say the same for Dirgo, but whatever), fueling paternity theories for years to come.

I just lost the game After Wesley leaves the crew after “Final Mission,” his appearances are more methodical, and thus his character feels more and more appropriate each time. In “The Game,” he’s just visiting but his tendency to see how things work helps him and Lefler to discover that the video game everyone’s playing is actually harmful before the whole crew turns on them.

I would like to add something to my testimony We get even more glimpses of how far Wesley has come when he’s attending Starfleet Academy in “The First Duty.” All of Nova Squadron has lied about the circumstances of Josh Albert’s flight accident, and it’s Wesley who comes clean in the end because he can’t bear the guilt and the dishonesty of covering up their nefarious actions. Take that, Locarno!

These people deserve better than to be removed from their homes We found Picard’s actions inexcusable and entirely out of character in “Journey’s End” but you know who was actually on point? Wesley freakin’ Crusher. How on earth the boy was the only Starfleet-adjacent person to actually try to defend the colonists on Dorvan V is beyond us. It strikes us as opposing Federation ideals to force the colonists to move, and Wes knows that.

I had to find my own path Finally, it is a fabulous resolution to the Wesley Crusher character for him to decide on his own to leave Starfleet and go with the Traveler to discover his true potential in “Journey’s End.” For too many kids, it’s the parents who put pressure on them to walk certain paths, and we celebrate Wes for finding his own. Ya know, until he’s randomly back in Starfleet for that cut scene from Nemesis for some reason.

—

Worst moments

Wesley Saves the Day! Okay, I’m gonna lump all the obnoxious “Wesley Saves the Day!” instances into one blurb because it’s so damn repetitive. Every single time, Wesley – a child amidst some of Starfleet’s best of the best – figures out some impossible engineering problem before any of the adults in the room can, and we got so tired of it. 

Whether it’s by getting drunk and taking over engineering only to use his reverse tractor beam in “The Naked Now,” or saving the day with the Traveler in “Where No One Has Gone Before,” or spotting Picard’s brain scan from across the room and deducing there are Ferengi shenanigans afoot in “The Battle,” or cracking the lock on the holodeck door while La Forge had already admitted defeat in “The Big Goodbye,” or seeing through Lore’s disguise as we mentioned above while all the adults in the room tell him to shut up in “Datalore,” or probably a ton of others all from the first season, it was clear no one knew how to write him except as some kind of magical prodigy. Alakazam!

Keep off the grass It’s all the more clear that having a child character on the crew is just a cringey idea in “Justice.” Sure, it could have been anyone who broke the stringent rules of the Edo, but just the fact that it’s Wesley gallumphing through a flower bed like an uncoordinated doofus, destroying it utterly, makes us roll our eyes and seriously wish they’d let them execute the brat. 

Frosty the no-no man Let us not forget that it was Wesley who hit the captain with a snowball in “Angel One,” an immature and obnoxious little scene that seems to prove Picard’s point that letting children run roughshod all over the ship is an inconvenience at best and a liability at worst. And it happens to be the latter in this episode, because he ends up getting the whole ship sick with some disease!

Drug Abuse Resistance Education is futile! While we can go on about Wesley’s whole exchange with Tasha about drug addiction in “Symbiosis,” what’s most egregious is how sheltered and clueless Wesley (normally some kind of child genius) has to be to not understand how narcotics work in the first place. It’s such a forced scene that we can just feel the Reagan Era war on drugs sentimentality written all over.

I guess leaving’s gotten easy for you It’s easy to find fault with “The Outrageous Okona” – it is my least favorite TNG episode, after all. Literally everyone in this episode is annoying, and as usual, that includes Wesley who first idolizes the charming rogue, then seems really judgey of his independent and carefree lifestyle, and finally he sasses the guy into making him conclude the soap opera plot of the episode.

How do you tell each other apart? It’s a pretty cheap joke when Wesley meets Mendon in “A Matter of Honor” and mistakes him for Mordock, whom we met in “Coming of Age.” I can’t tell if the writers were trying to make a racist “you people all look alike” kind of gag, but regardless, it makes Wesley look like an idiot for not knowing anything about Benzites and Benzite culture.

Klingons hate surprise parties Everything Wesley does in “The Icarus Factor” is annoying. He blathers like a maniac at the impatient Klingon, but then takes that impatience to assume something greater is going on than just being fed up with an obnoxious tween like anyone else would be. But to make things more exasperating, the little twerp is right, as he always is, and throws Worf an Age of Ascension party. Ugh.

I think that everything that’s been going wrong might be my fault It’s not until season three that, instead of saving the day as he did so many times already, Wesley actually screws up big by releasing the nanites in “Evolution.” While it’s refreshing to see Wes finally admit to some kind of flaw, his escaped nanites end up taking over the ship and start attacking people. And what’s worse is that he tries to lie about it until Guinan catches him!

Broccoli on the side You’ll remember this from La Forge’s spotlight as well, but Geordi reveals in “Hollow Pursuits” that it was Wesley who initiated the cruel nickname “Broccoli” for Lt. Barclay. Wes, you might still be a child, but you’re in a room with adults so stop acting like one! I don’t know what’s worse: being such a dick to one of your coworkers, or all the adults in the room condoning it.

I’m the one trapped in the bubble As if his misadventure in “Evolution” weren’t enough, Wesley botches another science experiment in “Remember Me” and nearly gets his mother killed in a pocket dimension! I know we just gave him some credit for bringing her back (though I mostly give that credit to the Traveler), someone’s got to stop letting Wes hook shit up to the warp core just because he’s the CMO’s kid! Nepotism much?

The first duty of every Starfleet officer is to the truth Here’s another Wesley moment that ended up on both lists because as much as we can see the character growth and lesson learned when he comes clean in “The First Duty,” it also needs to be said that he is fully prepared to follow Nick Locarno like a little sheep. Wesley almost certainly wouldn’t have done the right thing in the end if Picard hadn’t basically threatened him first!

You are out! Auf wiedersehen! Finally, we would be remiss if we didn’t poopoo Wesley’s fashion choices. Again. It’s a trainwreck of a fashion show. Sweater after sweater – all oversized, hideously patterned, and monstrously ugly. Ames has the full write up in an early blogpost: Wesley's Sweaters: An Unfashionable Collection, but this coral nightmare from “Where No One Has Gone Before” might take the cake.

—

Well, we’re off to go exploring with the Traveler, so that’s gonna wrap things up for this one. We’re back next week with more characters to spotlight and also more Enterprise to watch over on the podcast, which you can find on SoundCloud or wherever you listen. You can also get our help on your Academy entrance exams over on Facebook and Twitter, and watch out for those flowers!

[joe-spookyy]

what do you like about an American werewolf in london? like give me a full yap post i wanna read abt your opinions and thoughts yk

ok huge ask thank you sorry i put it off for so long there’s just much to say….

well to be honest i like just about everything about it it’s such a unique movie. but let me break it down…

first - the effects. guys i know i never stfu about the practical effects in every movie ever but i just really appreciate the way everything is done sfx wise in this one. it’s over the top and extra gory, but it’s in a way that works. it’s campy, it’s goofy, and it kind of just adds to the chaos of the film. the demons from david’s nightmare are all uniquely designed and well thought out even though they are literally just in that one scene. the werewolf design is one of my favorites ever in media. it looks wolf LIKE, but it’s clear that whatever that thing is, it’s not a normal wolf. this is, in my opinion, exactly how werewolves should look. and of course the transformation scene is just iconic. it emphasizes the pain involved in the transformation and really brings out the element of body horror in the movie, reminding us that there’s something even more scary about a loss of bodily autonomy as compared to just your traditional monster attack. and of course, it’s very technically impressive. rick baker the man that you are. i also really like jack’s wound makeup, and i think the way he decays throughout the film is a super cool creative choice and translates very well.

next - the comedy. yes, it’s a horror movie. but it’s also got a strong element of dark comedy that i think makes the movie what it is. the absurdity of the situations - from david’s absolutely bonkers dreams to the finale taking place in an active porn theater, the movie always has something wacky happening in one way or another. and i think this also adds to the humanity of the characters. we’re able to see them as people first, rather than just seeing them as future members of the kill count at the end of the movie.

and of course - the serious stuff. even though it stays pretty consistently silly, it also doesn’t hesitate to remind us of the gravity of the situations being portrayed. david is genuinely losing control of his mind AND body, and he’s faced with the decision to either kill himself or risk killing others. and the scene in which he calls his family right before he attempts always shuts me right up. additionally, it is a tragedy, as are most werewolf narratives. of course i can’t forget to mention it functions pretty damn well as a horror movie also. no matter how funny it is, it has some genuinely scary or at least off putting moments. i still stand by the fact that even standing on its own, the subway scene is one of the strongest sequences i’ve seen in a horror film, and is a great example of how you can scare your audience even more by NOT showing them the monster - leaving everything up to their imagination.

now - the music. i actually really love the score for this movie. there’s not a lot of the actual orchestral piece, but i think it fits perfectly. it’s got a very eerie and kind of melancholy sound to it which i LOVE, and the graininess of the sound adds to it a lot. also, i can’t mention the music without mentioning the soundtrack. i love how every song featured has something to do with the moon it’s such a cute thing to do. and the abruptness of the end credits song really encapsulates the whole movie, i think.

finally - i’m a sucker for werewolf movies. there are like a bajillion iconic horror movies with vampires or zombies or ghosts or demons or mad scientists but there are very few solid werewolf movies. this is one of them. so i’ve latched onto it.

anyways thank you again for the ask for further info check out my aawil propaganda post linked below. i hope you give it a watch.

https://www.tumblr.com/joe-spookyy/754775997496311808/asks-you-about-american-werewolf-in-london

[neotrances]

maybe i don’t know a lot about renting but this seems absurd for a studio apartment that’s 1000 a month and isn’t newly renovated???? i’ve been keeping my eyes on more expensive places that only require 600 credit score mines like 665 right now and im???? should i even message bc if they’re strict about this that’s crazy

[munchflix]

MUNCHFLIX - STREET FIGHTER (1994)

IMDB BLURB:  Col. Guile and various other martial arts heroes fight against the tyranny of Dictator M. Bison and his cohorts.

WARNINGS: Violence and just a whole lot of fucking weird shit

RATING: 20 Billion BisonDollars

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER: All reviews are done solely for humor and should not be taken seriously ever. If you cannot handle cursing, crude humor and probably some offensive things, pls do not read this.

Munch: So we're here again with the muthafuckin' street fighter movie which is so fucking great. Everything about this is absolute garb but it's so much fun. Raul Julia is putting his entire pussy into this absurd performance. Jean Claude Van Damme is the most hilarious "American" I've ever seen. His accent is so thick it hurts.

Biscuits: My opening thoughts are 'I'm eepy', okay?? (Biscuits is sleep-deprived again)

Dib: This movie was shot in a whole ten weeks and allegedly Jean Claude Van Damme was blasted off his ass on coke during the filming of this movie.

M: Watching his performance, I'm not at ALL shocked by that. ANYWAY. We open on uh...a really intense opening credit scene with a news reel talking about how bad M. Bison played by Raul Julia ( may he rest in peace ) is. Chun Li is reporting? Because she's a reporter in this?

B: Allied Nations, is this world war three???

M: Sort of, M. Bison is kind of the dictator

D: There's our man! I guess we just have like a hostage pit in M. Bison's doom dome? I forgot how shit the acting was. Raul was also years into battling stomach cancer when this was filmed.

M: VanDamme shows up as Guile and threatens Bison on the air which goes pretty well, you can't even understand his fucking accent.

B: I keep feeling phantom ants, like a meth addict. What is happening??

D: A lot, it doesn't slow down.

M: I'm trying to summarize but this goes like 100 mph. We've been introduced to Chun Li and Charlie and Blanka who are the same person, shut up, and E. Honda and DJ and Cami played by Kylie Minolgue.

D: Charlie and Blanka are different people in the game.

B: I don't understand what's going on

D: M. Bison has taken hostages and he wants 20 billion dollars from the government.

B: WHAT government???

D: THE government. Basically he wants it from Guile (vandamme) And now we're gonna be introduced to Ryu and Ken at a random street fight in a barbed wire electrified cage

B: These are Ryu and Ken??

Y’know, Ryu and Ken from Street Fighter...

D: And Vega, who kinda looks like his character. And that's Sagat. Sagat and Ryu and Ken have historical beef but not in this movie.

M: This is so much to take in. I guess Sagat is trying to get Ryu and Ken to help him sell guns.

B: So this white guy and this asian guy meet Barack Obama in some weird asian nightclub and they throw tennis balls at them and now they're fighting.

D: This will be the only fight for like...an hour. Meanwhile in Shadaloo? We're back with M. Bison. In this movie, Dhalsim is not a yogi, he's just a scientist? They couldn't do the stretchy limbs thing but come on.

B: They are just firing characters at us!

D: Canonically Blanka is just a weird guy, not some super soldier they created in a lab??? And definitely not Charlie.

M: Back to Dhalsim and M.Bison who is torturing BlankaCharlie with nazi propaganda and stuff to make him BAD. Also Zangief is here staring confusedly in the background, which he does the entire movie and I love him so much.

You can tell he’s being brainwashed because he’s wearing one of those photo-viewer toys from the 90s.

B: FUCKING OTTER POP JUICE LABELLED MUTAGENS DO NOT TOUCH! Can we fucking slow down please??

D: No! this movie does not. Now we're starting with another street fight between Vega and Rye-u or Ryu, it changes constantly.

B: I've seen better acting in a porno.

D: Ken looks like he belongs in a porno. Everyone is shirtless and the audience is horny.

B: That is not a real sword.

M: They could not afford real weapons.

B: When you don't have the money to score your movie, you can just throw in royalty free classical pieces! It’s not lazy or distracting at all!

D: But the fight is interrupted by a tank with Guile in it, and also 800 phone calls from Munch's mother.

M: That's not a joke, she’s called six times in the past half hour. Anyway, it's Guile. He's here with some guys that will not be relevant at all to the rest of the movie except maybe Cami but even then....and there's a spy guy.

B: Is that what spies do?? they just jump up in the middle of meetings and attack?? That's some good cold war espionage right there. What? Ken and Ryu are in jail eating scrambled eggs. That wasn't even a grammatically correct sentence.

D: Back in jail, they're all fighting for some reason.

M: Why?

D: I don't know. Guile is watching from above and back in Charlie's tickle basement, BlankaCharlie is being tortured again and there was a scream when his mouth was closed. Dhalsim is not happy with their methods though so he's gonna make CharlieBlanka look at nice things? they're making CharlieBlanka really swole by showing him bad things? and injecting him with dna otter pop mutagen.

I had to put an image in here of this shit to show you just how much it looks like otter pop juice.

M: Makes perfect sense. Back at the movie! Refugee camp with uh...the allies?

D: Here's ken and ryu and van damme

M: I guess he JUST broke them from prison?

D: Ryu and Ken are not criminals.

M: Just lovers.

D: No Ken is married. Not to Ryu.

B: Yeah, I've never heard of a married gay man.

M: Guile's accent is murdering me, his one liners are just so bad. So so bad.

D: Ken and Ryu fake beef for some reason. Vega hasn't said a single word in this movie. Oh they were stealing the keys.

B: They just throw the keys up in front of everyone, just show em off.

D: And then Ken gives Sagat and Vega the keys anyway but now there's a prison break.

B: I like how the Allied nation guys just have like random flags on them

D: Well technically that's supposed to be where they're from. Guile is shooting down a van but he just got shot.

B: What is the PLOT of this movie right now???

D: Chun Li does an epic dodge roll and there's shooting and then Ken and Sagat kiss. Just kidding. GUILE IS DEAD.

M: He's not though. There's medics, and now elephants back in Shadaloo. M. Bison is making a mini replica of Bisonopolis because he's gotta have a monument to his ego. Chun Li is reporting again about how bad Bison is and how Guile is dead. For real.

Reports have been coming in of a man posing as a health inspector in order to obtain free food.

D: DJ also didn't work for Shadaloo. Raul Julia M Bison's the hell out of this.

B: Is that what you want, M. Bison? Because I'm really confused about what your actual motivation is.

D: He's about to explain it.

B: So the evil leather daddy nazi wants to create an army of super soldiers to save everyone by...killing everyone?

M: Zangief sheds a tear and says Bison's speech was beautiful. He is my favorite. Everyone's alliances here are very suspect. There's a curfew now and stuff. Bad things are happening.

B: Why does Bison needs 20 million for this?

D: I don't know. Chun Li is apparently really a spy. Or a ninja. Or both.

B: She puts on like a bad balaclava and then she just like stealths up into the AN headquarters. Very sneaky. Apparently to sneak you just walk sideways in a black jumpsuit and put your hands up like oooooh.

D: She's got her very loud tracking thing and she's in the morgue, which is empty save ONE dead guy, being Guile. It's full of wet specimens in jars like any good morgue.

B: Oh fuck he's dead. I was so emotionally invested in this character.

M: I like how they just left him in his clothes. Like you do with dead bodies. No autopsy for Guile. He immediately has Chun Li arrested. She's got a sad backstory about how she wants to kill Bison for reasons.

B: I like the random classroom skeleton in the morgue. What war?? Is this just Shadaloo against the entire world?

D: Yep!

B: All the action sequences are so bad, she's just like speed walking away.

D: meanwhile at an illegal gun auction in Shadaloo....

M: Bison is sitting there while ppl who are definitely NOT Honda and Chun Li and Balrog in costume are performing. How did they get there? We don't know. Everyone is just in Shadaloo in a one kilometer radius but Bison doesn't notice.

D: and now Ken is horny for Chun Li but DJ is also horny for...someone. Ken is gonna get kidnapped.

M: Zangief is here, my special boy.

D: Ken is gonna get beaten by Chun Li because he's a scrub. Canonically.

B: Whoah pilot, I'm not that kinda guy. Bison and Sagat are getting a little too close.

D: Bison gives Sagat an entire case of "Bison Money" and says that it will be worth five times the pound when he kidnaps the queen. Which is a great line. Sagat gets mad.

B: Thanks for that backstory, now we know that Honda and Balrog were a sumo wrestler and a boxer. Someone should have told them they didn't need to put every single fucking character from the game in the movie.

M: But they did. Chun Li is planning to blow the entire place to smithereens and she left a fucking video message to let them know about it because that's smart. QUICK, CHANGE THE CHANNEL! says zangief. He is so dumb and we love him.

D: there goes the entire budget

B: They had to buy so many bootleg fireworks for that one scene, it must’ve cost them like 20 whole dollars. Well, 20 dollars in 1994 money, so that’s like $2 million in today's money.

D: I don't really know what Ryu and Ken even do in this movie

M: I don't think they really do anything.

B: This feels like the climax of the movie but we're only 40 minutes in.

D: This movie is a non stop climax. Meanwhile in space....we're gonna geolocate M. Bison with some bullshit tech.

M: Shouldn't be hard to find everyone, they're all in the SAME PLACE. Somehow Ken and Ryu are now M Bison's personal friends for turning in Chun Li and her friends. We don't to see how any of this happened.

D: Balrog and Honda are going to the sex dungeon while Bison goes to personally sexually harass Chun Li.

B: I can't parse if what you're saying is true

M: No it's all true.

B: Ken has to tell the audience who the good guys are

M: Guile is back at the base giving his men a speech about getting into Bison's secret hideout.

B: Their only option is ONE single boat to get into Bison's ancient ruin hideout, okay.

D: meanwhile E. Honda is getting a spanking and he is no selling it. He looks bored.

This is not a scene from a porno, I swear

M: Lots of experience getting lashes. Honda is gonna pull the chain right out of the wall because he's fucking swole. Zangief's accent isn't horrible, he's giving Ken and Ryu new oufits.

D: Ken's chest is covered because he's not actually buff. They're gonna just somehow communicate the two halfs of the map they saw? And here's Guile's speech which is so bad that his lips don't match because Van Damme was so out of it they had to overdub it

M: Guile tells a man he doesn't have balls and then he gets fired but it's fine because only Guile can fight Bison. The war is cancelled. No big.

D: He gives such an inspirational speech that everyone becomes war criminals and they're gonna go after Bison

M: I thought only one guy could get in there?

D: They're gonna follow him I guess. Guile gets in the bat boat mobile and he's gonna go kill Bison.

B: The real UN would've just been like - Please stop being a dictator or we're gonna write a stern letter.

M: Back in Bison's bedroom he's got Chun Li dressed like Chun Li and he's changed into his sex hat and sex robe and he's making an evil martini while Chun li exposits all over everyone about her tragic past.

B: In movies they have a thing called tell don't show, because why would you show something when you can just have someone tell us everything.

D: Back with Ken and Ryu and Honda and Balrog who have broken out but I guess they don't realize they're on the same side.

B: I do want Bison's giant bone chandelier. Hey do you wanna see my chandelier and my painting from John Wayne Gacy? ( that's really in there )

( No, really )

M: Chun Li is still fucking talking about how Bison murdered her dad and girl, he does not care. He's the bad guy. Bison knows women though and he's like, you are harmless. But that's what she wanted him to think!

D: she casually breaks her handcuffs and kicks Bison's ass by kicking him twice. Bison pretty good at fighting, actually.....OH NO THE GAS G-GAS GAS

M: What kind of gas? Who knows! Bison escapes in his uh...evil elevator?

D: Back in Guile's boatmobile, which is his because he has his name on it.

B: Can this movie just....pick a struggle...

M: Nope! and now for the needle drop with Guile's little home video of him and Charlie and then we're back with Blanka who looks like the Lou Ferrigno hulk

D: time for more evil with Blanka. But anyway Dhalsim is gonna give Blanka some nice asmr videos.

B: I love the way fake techy computer stuff looked in the 90's

D: they show him dolphins and weddings and babies and happy things. By the way, the entire Blanka storyline is completely irrelevant.

M: no it's true, nothing ever comes of it at all. I don't now why they put it in the movie. I don't know why they put most of this in the movie. Only Zangief.

D: Speaking of Zangief...he's here. Vega says his one line. I guess everyone got caught again. Oh they got gassed in the room. So now back with Guile they're gonna stealth mode, which changes literally nothing.

M: They just machine gun down all of Bison's sensors. Dj's accent tells us that something verrrrry strange is going on in the river, it's the invisible boatmobile!

D: Anti Guile alarm! Apparently they have an anti stealth mode. So now they're gonna get out M. Bison's big special boy floating platform with video game controls on it. Zangief looks around confused that Guile is alive.

M: all zangief does is look confused until the end. Bison is unsurprised Guile is alive and he's gonna kick everyone's ass whenever Guile and Cami and whoever else get there but apparently he's just gonna press buttons and use underwater mines.

D: Bison blows up the boat but somehow Guile and everyone get out. Insert coin to continue. meanwhile they realize Dhalsim has been beaming good vibes into Blanka's head and they accidentally release Blanka but he's full of good vibes now.

Yes, he does actually look this goofy.

B: They've just made a guy who's addicted to television.

D: Blanka in all his receding hairline glory is gonna save Dhalsim. the only thing he really does in the entire movie. So here's some Shadaloo guys getting beat up by Guile and T Hawk and Cami so they can finally infiltrate the secret aztec base.

M: Everyone is soooo stealthy. they just walk around and beat guys up. Good thing they have a sewer grate into the secret base. Guile and Co fall into a hole.

D: They're finally starting to look like their actual character counterparts. The movie is mostly over.

M: Bison's account has ZERO DOLLARS AND ZERO CENTS. Now he's gonna get mad. I wonder if he'd accept Bison Bucks instead of the 20 million.

Relatable.

D: Probably. OPEN THE HOSTAGE CHAMBER. Guile has broken into this place in 20 seconds, directly into the Blanka chamber.

M: Why do they just have an aquarium. And he finds Blanka and somehow immediately knows he's Charlie even though he doesn't look at all like Charlie. Blanka grunts a lot.

D: CharlieBlanka sad.

B: That was easy! Guile is just gonna shoot him, but Dhalsim stops him.

D: Bison is like why have I not been paid? Bro, you're asking 20 billion.

M: Who even are these hostages, are they worth 20 billion?

B: Who even fucking knows??? Raul Julia is CHEWING the scenery

M: I love it. he's giving 30000 percent.

B: What is the point of this blanka shit? Why is this even in the movie?

M: they're gonna send Guile instead of Blanka I guess, even though Guile isn't a super soldier.

B: I love Zangief, he just stands around looking so confused. I feel that.

D: Guile does a 20 foot leap and drop kicks Bison who orders people to shoot the hostages and now everything is happening so much

B: Everything has been happening so much since it started

D: Everyone gets more naked and the AN is here and E Honda and Zangief are gonna fight for 20 minutes.

M: I wish that was all that happened. Guile is now outside shooting people somehow and I don't now where Bison is.

D: Honda bodyslams Zangief through a secret passage. So Bison finds out Blanka was being programmed to be good and he punches out the screen and now the allied forces are here and Ken kinda almost does a shoryuken.

M: This fight lasts the rest of the movie. Bison is like, DJ and I willl face defeat together and DJ is like, yeah I'm out. Ken is kind of an asshole in this movie. Rye-u and ken get mad and Ryu goes back to save people even though he's not getting paid.

D: This movie is a non stop car accident. Blanka is destroying things while Dhalsim yells. The smoke machine broke and Guile is shooting people and nobody knows where Bison is, including us.

M: But he's not! He's gonna call Guile out and they're gonna fight in man to man combat!

D: Guile has the american flag tattoo! They're gonna street fight.

M: If his run in with Chun Li is any indicator, this should be easy. they show a video of Zangief and Honda destroying the model of Bisontopia with godzilla noises. I love this show. Bison and Guile are still fighting. Props to Raul Julia for fighting in that fucking outfit.

D: Balrog suddenly has his boxing skills back.

B: Where are the hostages?? In the hostage pit! Where do you think they are???

D: M. Bison has died.

B: He gets thrown into a control panel and dies.

D: No we haven't climaxed yet

B: ....but....fuck....whut...I think I've had an aneurysm.

D: Bison life support activated!

B: he has life alert!

D: His suit administers cpr, and now he's gonna use ELECTRICITY!

M: Meanwhile DJ is gonna grab a treasure chest that Bison has in his locker and get out. Ken is also looking for treasure but all he finds is a statue and a bad computer screen with icons but he does see Rye-u and yells at him. It's a trap!

D: Ryu gets ambushed by Sagat and Vega

B: I forgot they were in this movie

D: Bison is gonna fly.

B: Hold up *whispers* just for like...one second please.....WHAT. Why has the climax of this movie been happening for 80 minutes?

D: He's gonna fly. With superconductor electromagnetism. Yanno.

He’s playing the bass and I’m flyin’! (Editor’s note: how many times have I made this fucking joke?)

M: I love Raul Julia so fucking much though oh my god. I miss him. Oh yeah Ken and ryu are fighting and shit and people are losing their shirts.

D: He kinda did a Hadouken. Ryu is gonna burn Vega in the incinerator but only a mild burn

M: Ken and Ryu unsuprisingly win and now they're gonna go to Dizzkneeworld. Bison is just flying all over and shooting lightning at Guile but he's got BIG KICKS and he launches Bison into the screens and he explodes.

B: Oh shit the energy field is unstable!!! Oh shit!

M: Balrog punches open the hostage room. Zangief and Honda are STILL fighting but Honda is like welll I gotta run and Zangief is like DJ! Come fight with me! And DJ is like dude Bison is the fucking villian. Zangief is again confused. Bison is a bad guy???? You got....paid??? He is best boy.

D: Oh no the blast doors are gonna close! How are we gonna get out?? Oh it's ZANGIEF! Who somehow got outside and he's holding the door open and he's also much more naked. And now we're back with Dhalsim who is now bald and mostly naked and he's like nah I'll take CharlieBlanka out, we're fine.

B: WheaheIyeah???

D: And then the evil temple blows up and Cami and Chun Li kiss. Not really. All the Shadaloo henchmen are giving up

M: Zangief stands there proudly as a new good guy.

D: Sagat and DJ escape and now Sagat is shirtless but the treasure is actually BisonBucks

M: Everyone thinks Guile is dead but he's not and everyone is so happy to see him

B: He's been an asshole this whole time.

M: Everyone is good guys now!! And everyone is fine with that I guess. Chun Li and Guile have a little something something but it's kinda gross

D: Why is everyone horny for Chun Li?? Me at the entire Street Fighter Community.

B: Why is it still exploding?

M: The energy field

B: BUT WHY?? THIS WAS NEVER MENTIONED IN THE ENTIRE MOVIE UNTIL THE VERY END!! IT MAKES NO SENSE! ALL OF THE SUDDEN IT HAS A MELTDOWN??? WHAT THE FUCK IS THE ENERGY FIELD???

D: What happened to Blanka and Dhalsim? We'll never know

B: I don't know what happened, period. What the fuck is going on.

D: This is the most insane movie I've seen in my entire life. The breakneck pace does not stop, it starts at an 11 and goes up to a 14 real quick and stays there. Zangief is best boy,

B: w...what? I don't have anything else to say. What was any of that???? What? Why?

M: You're looking for meaning where there is none. It's beautiful chaos.

B: I will say one thing...there's NEVER a dull moment. Not a single one. You're not given a second to be bored.

D: How many stars would you give this movie?

B: Mayonnaise.

[wumblr]

well i've paid off my credit cards, gotten dental work, and i'm about to upgrade from lifting 20lbs to 30lbs, all of which were painfully expensive if i'm being fully honest. like the price increase from 10lb to 15lb dumbbells is like 400%. this is largely because they don't have weights heavier than 10lb at the $5 store, but still

i'm at the point where i'm like, should i just get a gym membership, but because i work nights and the nearest 24hr gym is on a second floor, i would have to get a special Night Access Card. which i might do. after i've acclimated to the second set of dumbbells i guess. also the difference between lifting 10 vs 15lbs is insane, i'm going to have to go from reps of 40 to like. 5. but it also took me a surprisingly short time to work up to reps of 40. which leads me to believe i should probably just get the gym membership. anyway i'm changing my name to Progressive Overload

but you know what the irritating part is? the only tangible or visible effect any of this work has had on my life so far is that i can't chew gum for two weeks. my credit score is about to go up, and despite handling a truly absurd amount of money this week, my bank account has about the same amount in it that it usually does (not much). but this does complete my interstitial tasks of accessing my stock purchase and HSA accounts

what do you know? you roll a rock up a hill and all of a sudden you've processed 2.1 million credit cards. that's an estimate, but i've made 7000 batches which are between 100 and 3000 cards with most of them being closer to 100. anyway if you assume each card costs $3.19 each that's $6.7m revenue, which is why my company takes $17,000 profit per employee per year

[poppyandzena]

There’s so much to say about the Spawn’s doc, but here’s the first two that came to mind.

Zena threatening to kick Spawn out when they were paying more rent than Zena is an absurd level of audacity.

How do two adults in their late thirties and early forties’ not know their credit scores? Zena was also lying her ass off about a credit score being “sensitive financial info”. Which brings me to point three.

I think Poppy and Zena were purposely sabotaging Spawn becoming independent and moving out. I think P&Z needed Spawn's trust fund money, and liked having someone to clean up after them. How else can you explain throttling the internet during a job search? The document also made me remember a line in the video where Poppy first talks about Spawn moving out. “My kid left because they didn’t want to help two disabled people.” If Spawn was the lazy leech P&Z were making them out to be, why would they miss having their help?

Poppy wasn't lying when she said she hasn't seen that kid as hers in ten years.

Children can feel when they are unloved, when they are objectified, even if you never say a single word about it. They will know. And they will remember.

[fearsmagazine]

AS WE KNOW IT - Review

DISTRIBUTOR: Buffalo 8

SYNOPSIS: “Set in Los Angeles in the late 1990s, struggling writer James Bishop grapples with the emotional shrapnel of a recent breakup with his longtime girlfriend, Emily. As James holds up in his Hollywood Hills home with writer's block, his eccentric best friend Bruce shows up with bad news. The city has plunged into chaos by an unusual zombie outbreak, courtesy of tainted soy milk, wreaking havoc on James' semi-charmed kinda life. With the streets of Los Angeles swarming with the undead, James, Bruce, and Emily come together to barricade themselves in the house while reconciling their personal struggles. And occasionally, letting in the only food delivery service still operating, Abracadabra.” -Press Release

REVIEW: Josh Monkarsh’s film feels like a play as James’ home is the main setting and much of the story unfolds in the living room, kitchen and bedroom. The limited locations add to the feel of a 90’s sitcom, from “Seinfeld,” to “Friends” and the late 90’s “Freaks & Geeks.” Clearly these characters are in their mid to late 20’s but their lack of maturity make them seem much younger.

Monkarsh, DePaolo and Francis’s script is jam packed with 90’s references and bits and gags that rely on period as well. One of the jokes between James and Bruce is their love of “Waterworld,” which they watch on a laserdisc (yes, I still have a player and a collection of laserdiscs). It is clearly a love letter to that period of time when life was simpler and complicated in different ways before the advent of the smartphone, tablets and laptops. The absurdity of the zombie plague being caused by tainted soy milk takes a back seat to the relationship between the three characters, and Rory, the delivery person who happens to be an old acquaintance of Bruce, makes for a nice distraction.

The film has a rather dry pacing, and even Bruce’s chaotic moments come at a slower pace. There is an overall malaise that you would expect from the zombies. Somehow it all works and becomes engaging. Each actor brings elements to their performances that make for likable and sympathetic characters, even Bruce. It’s a great ensemble cast, but I have to say actor Danny Mondello creates this memorable character that could have easily been cliched but comes off fresh and memorable, like an early Joe Pesci performance. Actor Chris Parnell received a nice amount of screen time, with an additional scene during the credits, and it would have been nice to see a bit more of Pam Grier.

I enjoyed the cinematography, costumes and production designs that captured the period. The editing sustained my viewing engagement. The zombie make up and designs are simple and effective, as well as the special effects, with nothing too gorey. I liked Michl Britsch’s score. It enhanced the comedic tones of the film and added slightly more energy to the film.

AS WE KNOW IT is a relationship comedy set against the backdrop of a zombie outbreak taking place in Los Angeles. The film is kind of a 90’s American slacker reworking of “Shaun of the Dead,” with a tone similar to Jim Jarmusch’s “The Dead Don't Die,” but without some of the film’s more bizarre moments. A fun and mildly funny trip down memory lane with some likable characters who take center stage over the zombies. Monkarsh does a nice job with the material but given his film credits to date I’m not sure when and if will see Monkarsh venturing into the horror genre again soon.

CAST: Mike Castle, Oliver Cooper, Taylor Blackwell, Chris Parnell, Pam Grier, and Danny Mondello. CREW: Director/Screenplay/Producer - Josh Monkarsh; Screenplay - Brandon DePaolo & Christopher Francis; Producers - Daniel Cummings, K. Asher Levin & Joshua Fruehling; Cinematographer - Stephen St. Peter; Score - Michl Britsch; Editors - Yvonne Valdez & Rebecca Weigold; Production Designer - Lorus Allen; Costume Designer - Zoe Poledouris-Roche; Special Effects - John McConnell; VFX Supervisor - Kevin Vanhook. OFFICIAL: https://asweknowitmovie.com/ FACEBOOK: N.A. TWITTER: N.A. TRAILER: https://youtu.be/-0U1pgXaygk?si=MqlxM792N7xDsdPX RELEASE DATE: Nov. 10th New York City, Chicago, Seattle; Nov. 15th Los Angeles; Nov. 17th Boston; Dec. 1st Calabasas.

**Until we can all head back into the theaters our “COVID Reel Value” will be similar to how you rate a film on digital platforms - 👍 (Like), 👌 (It’s just okay), or 👎 (Dislike)

Reviewed by Joseph B Mauceri

[bittersyllabub]

(º﹃º ). My eyes are so crusty.

Two hours of sleep , and my alarm is saying it’s time to got to work…. Ugh……To work in modern medicine, ugh…….

I think about Daan being ones of *those*doctors. He’s been on residency doing a double and is clearly self medicating by this point in his office. (No can be awake for that long and still write up decent reports but he’s doing it. God Bless the man look at him go.) and none of us lower staff and baby docs, are gonna say anything because the board of directors is observing today; because for some absurd reasoning they’ve decided to implement A customer service portion to our paycheck scale. And the Director is walking around with his HR daughter doing the surveys with like the worst patients possible. And we’re all looking at the man in his office watching “soft kitty, warm kitty,” because it just SPEAKS to him and we’re all holding our breath. The Director is making a beeline. And Kitten man is our only hope to get this bullshit to stop because for some absurd reason, THEY KNOW EACH OTHER, like KNOW, Know. . Yeh know? Like, kitten man is one of the bosses, but he’s so done. That like I think he forgets? I guess his credit score is not high enough ?? And That’s how this works at a certain level, they’re all interconnect by marriages or  divorces, either last generation or this one…………

Oh boy, what was this about again? (ㆆ ᴗㆆ)

Oh right. Fanfics. *ಥ_ಥ*.

( I’m having a lot of fun writing Daan. Can you tell?)

The poll was really exciting for a moment , neck and neck on what POV we want for ch.4. For a long while a Karin POV was in the lead before tide changes and Levi seems to be winner. Nice.

Anyhoot

Chapter 2 & 3 is up.. i’ve decided keep them split from each other. It looks cleaner that way . ALSO SHOUT OUT TO MY FELLOW READERS, I’m loving the Engraving Fics that are coming in . You wonderful souls , you .

Have a wonderful day. (´ཀ`」 ∠).

[daveinediting]

It's definitely a new experience watching a production spin up online through conversations and photographs, the evidence of a production team working hard to tell a story on the fly... a process that's its own fascinating story.

It also helps me make predictions about my own day.

The morning was, as expected, an exercise in absorbing the script. Reading and making notes. Reading and making plans. Reading and setting up the project in Premiere Pro. Thinking about what's coming my way and how I'll want to engage with it. And so on.

The morning was also about semi-front row seats to the work of two other professionals: the composer and the graphic designer who both got a head start on the day leaving me about 6-8 hours behind. The graphic designer took their cue from the producer about opening titles that also suggested the design for close credits. The composer sketched out some ideas first thing upon getting the script.

One of the challenges of the day on the post production side, was that our composer had to tag out around 10 that night. She wouldn't be available all the way through Sunday when we polish polish polish... so there had to be finished music before the first cut was even on its feet.

And so it was.

For example, she had the music for the fight scene done well before I actually got around to cutting the fight scene. The music was done before I had an idea for the fight scene. Pretty much before I saw the footage for the fight scene.

And guess what?

It turned out brilliantly. As if she'd scored the music to what I cut instead what happened… which was that I cut the fight scene and then laid the music under it.

Speaking of editing, I finished my Saturday on the early side. Around 230 Sunday morning.

What can I say?

When your first time doing this takes you through 5AM Sunday morning...

Two-thirty in the morning seems pretty reasonable. 

In other news and once again, the writing team pulled off a quirky script with heart. It seems to be their signature regardless of genre. There's a cleverness in their work, a natural tendency to find the humanity in any circumstance including the fantastic, the strange, and the absurd.

And yes. They also have no problem finding the laugh out loud funny when they want to.

Their signature seems always to be a certain empathy for the characters they create that I find heartening.

I'm told, by the way, they have a secret weapon: one amongst their ranks who seems to thrive in the ungodly hours of the morning.

The reason that came up?

They delivered this round's script, intended for an 830 Saturday morning shoot... at 430 the same morning. After which, between call time and when cameras rolled, the director and producer reconciled diverging ideas for the script's ending with a clever compromise. Something that both served the story as well as each of their objectives, literally (and wonderfully) having it both ways.

I told them there's brilliance in their disagreements.

Which there is.

The major editing challenge of the day was Scene 2 of the script that was one of those very complicated to shoot scenes. It also, therefore, happens to be one of those scenes that's a headache to edit. This time around, we're talking about two speakers and four audience members for which there's three takes of the wide shot encompassing the entire scene, a two-shot of the PTA president and fundraiser, singles of each, a single of one of the group members and a two shot of that group member (the spy, actually) and the person next to whom they're sitting, as well as a two-shot of another pair of group members sitting nearby. Every take of the scene is the complete scene. There's full dialogue in every take. There are reactions in every take. There are different performances between the takes.

Just contemplating all those takes made my brain hurt. 

I was still working through all those takes when the producer and director came over after the shoot to drop off the afternoon's footage and talk through what they'd done... as some changes were made on the fly and weren't reflected in the script.

The best thing, though? The absolutely best thing once the director and I commiserated about Scene 2? 

He told me Scene 3 was done as a single take. And then it turned out scene 4 was shot as a single. Scene 5 was a short single. And Scene 6 was a fight scene involving a mop and an umbrella for which there was plenty of footage but not egregiously so. It's one of those things where I could see what the director and photographer were going for and I leaned into it.

Hard.

I think in my career, I've done a piece on boxing with actual fighting in the ring. I cut a short film that involved a fight on a beach with a flaming sword. And then this one with the mop, the umbrella, and the guy who gets his feet completely knocked out from under him. I haven't yet been able to stop watching and re-watching that section of film. If I'd been able to resist that temptation, I easily would've been to bed by two in the morning instead of two-thirty.

Oh well.

Anyway, last night's rough cut features full color correction, sound design, and music. We're missing the graphics that are forthcoming today. And I've got the sound mix yet to do.

However.

We're set up today to do what we've always done while some teams are still shooting and some editors are just grappling with their first cuts. When the director and producer wake up, they'll look at my overnight cut and judge it on the spot. They'll track any obvious misstep on my part that needs fixing. They'll think about what's already great and  figure out if there's even more great to wring from the footage. Or more funny. Or more intensity or empathy. Then they'll come over later this morning and we'll polish the first cut to within an inch of its life. We'll regard different options available to us, try a few of them out, and when we're done...

You better believe it. We'll be done.

A fully no regrets experience by the time we deliver our work.

And yes. Now that you ask...

There's nothing like it.

🙂

[smokeybrandreviews]

The Rock Bottom of Eternity

I’m going to come clean at the very beginning of the essay: I did not see Black Adam. I do not have a desire to see Black Adam. I was curious, for a while, because it’s taken fifteen years for The Rock to become Black Adam but my good will toward anything DC cinematic not from the Bat-Franchise, has been exhausted. It’s no secret that i thought everything about the DCEU was a misfire, with the exception of the first Wonder Woman. I didn’t like the casting, the aesthetic, the narrative choices, the projected plot, or the fact Zack Snyder was chosen to be “the guy.” Everything about the DCEU was trash and i don’t think The Rock, as much as he is Franchise Viagra, can save something so broken. The Snyderverse should have ever been and trying to cater to those fans has left the principal DC IPs in shambles. Minus Batman. It’s hard to f*ck over Batman. Everyone else? Yeah, they got the shaft.

Black Adam has been absolutely savaged by critics. Again, no plans to actually see this thing in theaters but from what i heard, it feels like a film out of time. It feels like a Phase One MCU outing, which is exactly what it should feel like. Black Adam i supposed to be the entry point to a brand new DC cinematic universe, one that divorces itself from whatever the f*ck Snyder was trying to do. Kind of. I think Flashpoint is about to remedy all of that, even the Ezra Miller problem, by the time credits roll. There seems to be a ton of re-shoots happening over there, most of which coincided wit the re-shoots Black Adam went through this year, so i think there will be continuity between the two films. Out with the old, in with the new. If Black Adam is to be the new DC’s Iron Man, then the vitriol from the critics is worrisome. Or so you would think. Apparently, audiences came out in droves to this thing. So far, it’s tracking for a one hundred, forty million opening weekend and that’s just peachy, especially for DC films going forward.

If that weekend haul wasn’t enough to convince you, the audience score on Rotten Tomatoes is sitting at ninety f*cking percent. That’s an absurd number for a film that stars a character no one outside of the comic fandom knows anything about. No, this thing is making bread because of a soft theater slate and the fact The Rock is starring. Franchise Viagra, remember? People are saying that is is a victory for the anti-woke mob and that the fans are being heard but i don’t give ash*t about any of that. It’s all just noise to me at this point. She-Hulk turned out to be just as fun as Black Adam from what i heard, so all the “politics” and “wokeness” are just dog whistles from toxic dudes getting their feelings hurt for being called out on their bullsh*t. What’s more interesting to me is where DC goes from here. You have a hit on your hands right now. It might not be great but Marvel is still reeling from the loss of their Trinity on film. How do you capitalize on this opening if you’re WB and DC? The Rock wants a Superman, Justice League, Suicide Squad, Black Adam battle royale but that’s dumb. Teth-Adam is not that guy, he’s not that level of a threat. Instead, they should just build upon this goodwill and try to construct something that can stand the test of time. The MCU didn’t get “good” until half way through Phase Two with The Winter Solder. That film set the tone for what followed. The DCEU never got to that point. They never had a Winter Soldier or found their Russo Brothers to shepard this franchise.

There are rumors that The Rock has a guy in mind for the job, that if Black Adam did well (which it apparently has) his team would have a shot at leading the direction of the DCEU 2.0. Is this a good idea? I don’t know but, going by The Rock’s history, I'd be inclined to think otherwise. Dude’s ego will always force himself into the forefront. This will immediately stop being a DC franchise effort and become a Dwayne Johnson star vehicle, which is absurd to me. Like, get your money, my guy, for sure, but not at the expense of the DCEU. This is the exact same folly that set Snyder up to ruin these characters for, what? Almost a decade? Ultimately, i am glad Back Adam did well. The Rock was tapped to play this character fifteen years ago so finally having it come to fruition is dope. I’m glad that there is another path to potential success for DC on film. I’m glad that people are supporting a film with so much diversity front and center. I’m glad for a lot of things but that doesn’t mean the future isn’t still murky as f*ck or that Black Adam is good. When there is a laundry list of critical issues with your film but the only positive i can find is that “I was entertained”, i am concerned about your ability to execute in the future.