#crepus: heavy sighs from mondstadt

[https-furina]

✎ baubles & gratitude wishes. ft. diluc x gn!reader content. festive fluff! labelled gn!reader but if you find otherwise please let me know so i can adjust! tw for kisses, sickening sweet stuff with diluc (hehe) assuming that christmas lights exist in canon au... w.c. 1.2k words

notes. this man will not leave me alone ! so when i spun n got him i was like damn, he rlly isn't letting me drop him.. maybe 'm still a diluc girlie at heart <33 this is my first entry for ecrin’s christmas event! taglist - always open, send an ask! @ryuryuryuyurboat @soleillunne @rainswept

at the heart of the winery stands a manor, decorated with dark wood beams and emitting the warmest orange glow into the chill of the night through its many glass windows. it is the peak of winter in teyvat and whilst every nation has a different winter, mondstadt in particular suffers from the dropping cold temperatures and lingering frost that kisses every surface it touches. after years of living in mondstadt with your beloved husband at his late father's winery, you'd grown accustomed to the weather in mondstadt - and most especially how it changes in the blink of an eye.

you sit on one of the plush velvet couches that litter the winery's manor, all deep red in colour to match the ragnvindr family's oddly specific red theme - not that you minded it. it was one of the many things alongside the weather that you had grown accustomed to. another one of those things was your husband's quiet, stoic attitude.

"if you keep staring at the fire like that, you'll hurt your eyes, love," his deep voice resonates from behind the couch, calloused hands placing themselves upon your shoulders, "what's on your mind?"

the sentiment of his question draws a small smile to your face, shaking your head in reassurance as you look up at the redhead, his hair tied neatly back in a ponytail. he quirks a brow, not buying it but he accepts it anyway, leaning down to press a chaste kiss to your lips.

“have you ever decorated the manor?” you ask with a hum, watching his brows furrow in confusion - of course he has, he thinks as he take a moment to glance around the living area he’s grown so used to, “for christmas, luc.”

ah. that changes his response quite quickly. diluc scowls for a moment before shaking his head, turning his ruby gaze back to you, the one he treasures so much. diluc isn’t stupid and quite frankly, he knows where this conversation is going. a sigh escapes his parted lips before a crack of a smile graces his pale face, framed so delicately by the loose strands of red hair he hasn’t tied back.

“i’ll ask adelinde to see if my father’s decorations are still in the attic.” he sounds reluctant but he drinks in the way that your face lights up, a sparkle glittering in your eyes at the prospect of decorating the manor with the one you love and he knows he can’t deny you now - not only for your sake but his own. diluc knows very well that you have him wrapped around your finger when every time you pout or give him those sorrowful eyes, he can’t help but feel his already fragile heart break.

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ─────

there’s a few crates littering the living room floor, filled with the late crepus’ decorations. the lids are covered in dust, save for the fingerprints left by diluc’s gloved hands from when he took the crates from adelinde, scolding her for attempting to do all the heavy lifting alone.

you sit amongst them, unaware of diluc's vermillion eyes that seemed to be trained on your childish delight as you sift through endless decorations - you never had the joy of meeting crepus but from the sheer amount of his decorations diluc had shoved into the attic in an attempt to bury old memories, you could gather that he was a brilliant family man. diluc notes that the glitter in your eyes never fades for even a second and for a moment, he ponders the times when he was once this excited to see these crates. it's melancholic, cracking a smile to his stoic face.

after many minutes going over the layout of the manor's ground floor space, you decided quite boldly that the tree should sit in the entry before the front door. diluc tries to hide his amusement at how serious you're taking decorating the manor but you can see it peak through when you glance at your husband only to see a sliver of a smirk on his face.

"i didn't expect you to like christmas this much," diluc mumbles as he finishes wrapping lights around the bushy evergreen spruce tree - upon your request, - thankful for his gloves when the needles poke at him as he works meticulously, "let alone decorating…"

"life is too short to not find the joys in seemingly mediocre tasks," you grin, two golden, glittering baubles in your hands as you begin to hang them on the branches. diluc watches, noticing that the heavier - and much larger - baubles are placed on the lower branches. after his observation, he copies, "besides, it's much more fun to see the tree whenever you come home and realise that your house is your home, your four walls and warmth."

diluc wants to cluck his tongue, sending a glance in your direction as the warm christmas lights decorating the tree illuminate your face but he can't bring himself to vocally retort his thoughts. you are his four walls, his home and hearth; the warmth he craves after long days of paperwork and tedious tasks or cold nights being mondstadt's mysterious unidentified hero. you are the one he comes home to and realises these things. he makes a soft noise in response to your words, continuing to hang baubles and the like on bushy branches.

he'll occasionally glance back at you. he thinks you look absolutely gorgeous, radiating this exciting energy that glows with the tree as it comes to life. diluc takes these moments to gaze over you and drink in every last detail as if you'll disappear from his grasp after you both return to your shared chambers later that night, sliding into silk sheets and pressing your bodies together for warmth in the chill of mondstadt's winter nights. he drinks it all in as if he'll never see the shape of your nose again or the twinkle of your eyes. he traces the outline of your lips and counts any freckles you may have.

you're not silly, you caught diluc staring ages ago but now there's a glitter in his own ruby eyes that matches yours. two matching flames that keep each other ablaze. the next time you catch him staring, you're quick to shuffle closer to him, pressing against his chest as you rest your head on his broad shoulders. diluc tenses as he always does, his busy hands hanging the decorations they'd been holding before his arms wrap around you tightly. he presses his lips to your hair, nestling his nose in the familiar scent of the shampoo you always specifically request when adelinde goes shopping for necessities.

"merry christmas, luc." you mumble into the fur trim of his coat, your eyelashes fluttering shut in content when you bask in the scent of smouldering ashes from his pyro vision, the wine that he despises to drink and rain. he's your home.

"merry christmas, love." diluc responds softly after a few moments of silence, his eyes raising to admire the handy work of you both as he takes in the tinsel decorating shelves, placed neatly above the fireplace hearth and the lively golden tree at the centre of it all. it has been far too long since he's seen his manor decorated in such ways, he thinks with an ounce of a smile at the nostalgia you've ignited in his heart. you're his home too.

© https-furina 2023.

[frozenambiguity]

@resolutepath | continued from here.

Steps that were once known to be swift and light now become heavy --- a clear indication of his disposition; of the struggle deep inside. Has the path from his lodgings to Mondstadt's church always been this distant...? No, no. Certainly not. There have been times when this walk posed no issues at all, like when he visited Barbara, the sisters, or Seamus in official affairs, social settings, or religious gatherings.

But this specific reason... It haunts him. It is a different matter altogether. Kaeya does not visit the church's premises with this intent too often. Partly because doing so means facing one's past and mistakes, and partly because he feels as if he does not have the right to visit in the first place. To grieve... Does he possess that right, he wonders, when the very last memory that remains of Master Crepus is his body disintegrating into thin air, Diluc shaking in horror, while Kaeya... while Kaeya is just standing there, immobile, incapable of doing something so little like providing comfort for his brother?

Diluc had been focused on Crepus' death. The loss of a parent. The tragedy that it is and what it truly represents for the future. In contrast, Kaeya's own immediate thoughts had been of himself --- how now he did not have to tell Master Crepus the truth, how now he may not have to choose a side anymore after all, so long as Diluc stood by his side. Hypocrite. Despicable. To want Diluc to stand by his side, when he had failed to stand by Diluc's when he truly needed to. Master Crepus' death had been... hard to digest. One supposes each and every single person grieves in their own way. Still --- the fact that Kaeya felt some relief, no matter how brief, stands. And that is something he will never be able to forgive himself for. Not when Crepus had been the one to take him in, to give him a home to the best of his abilities.

Kaeya's eyes are not focused on the path anymore. His body unconsciously leads him where he needs to go without him truly realizing it. His grasp tightens on the flower bouquet, jaw clenches ever so subtly. And before he knows it, there are only a few more meters before he reaches the cemetery. He pauses.

That is what he has always been in everyone's lives, has it not? An interference. Unwanted. Doomed to cause distress wherever he went, to whoever held their hands to him in aid. He allows himself to chuckle once, although he does not find the matter humorous. His features are... severe. Cold. Distant. No matter how often Diluc brushed away his advances and hopes of a possible reconciliation, ( and hurt him in the process ), sometimes he truly does believe that that is for the best. If Kaeya is not around Diluc anymore... Then he cannot continue to hurt him. Of course, he yearns for him and Diluc to be close again but... Is that not his hypocritical tendencies rising to the surface once more?

Yes. He shall have to become content with the single fact that he just wishes Diluc had someone to rely on. Someone worthy. Perhaps he should go talk to Jean soon... Suggest to her that, maybe, she should aim to fortify her ties with the Owner of the Dawn Winery. They had been close once, they can become so again. She is clearly in a better position than him to offer Diluc the support he needs. Yes. That settles it. Another extended sigh as he prepares to turn around the corner, enter the cemetery and...

Diluc. He has not prepared to face Diluc. Not like this, not today. It is not Diluc's fault, of course. He is the one who is not supposed to be here... Diluc is more than entitled to grieve his father, and if he so wishes to see Kaeya gone from the premises, he will not oppose the idea.

«Flowers...» His voice is quiet as he shows Diluc the bouquet. In a way, his current tone mimics that of his once younger self, quiet, uncertain, doubtful. In fact, he makes everything about himself small. As if he knows this could go very wrong, and does not wish to go down that path. There has already been enough pain on the day of Crepus' death and their physical confrontation.

«I brought some flowers... I thought they would be to Master Crepus' liking». Kaeya does not move an inch closer. He waits for Diluc's permission.

[reallyrandomtj]

My Crepus:

'I never want these Delusions to be mass produced.'

Several years later, in Inazuma:

Scaramouche, probably?

'HAH. About that!'

Proceeds to mass produce Delusions to almost completely eradicate the common folk in the resistance of Inazuma.

My Crepus:

[himeryu]

Two Birds (Diluc Ragnvindr x Reader)

CH NOTES: heavy angst, open ending, arranged marriage, gender-neutral reader, mental breakdowns, anxiety

Pairing: Diluc x Reader

Summary: A marriage between 2 friends where one leaves but the other tries to stay but fate has other plans.

A/N: a oneshot that I might continue. After this, I’m gonna finalize Love Affair 02 and fulfill requests!!

. . . navigation masterlist

Diluc’s 18th birthday was the day when everything was supposed to be amazing. He expected to blow the candle with his father, his fellow knights from the Ordo Favonious, his brother, and you– his beloved fiance from Inazuma– by his side.

Yet why did his father die by his hands? Why did his fellow knights betray and disrespect him and his now deceased father? Why did his brother– now estranged– deceive him and the nation they have sworn to protect? Why did everything fall apart on his birthday?

Devastated and enraged, he left Mondstadt– forgetting that he left someone dear to him in the place he called home.

It’s been a week since Diluc left and oh god you were a mess. The death of Master Crepus and Diluc’s absence took a horrible toll on your mental health. Not only that but the political climate in your home country is starting to eat you up. Your parents– who stayed in Inazuma– begged you to stay away from there as you are a vision user, but you can’t just leave your parents alone!

You worry about your friends in Inazuma, will the owner of Naganohara fireworks stay safe? Or the Kamisato siblings? Would the Kaedahara wanderer and his friend be okay? How about the red Oni who swore to beat you in an Onikabuto match once you return home?

And God you worry about your runaway Fiance and his now estranged brother. Will Kaeya be alright? His 2nd father just died and now his brother left him all alone.

The entire day you have just been worrying about everyone you hold dear. The more you think about your current situation, the more anxious and angsty you got. You replay the conversation you had with Diluc, which happened the night before he left.

Did he really mean what he said? Tears start to well up in your eyes as you recall the things he said to you that night.

It was the night where you both screamed your heads off, the night where your true feelings came to light, and the night where he rejected you in the most brutal way possible.

You have been worrying about others these past few days but how about you? will you be okay? Will you and Diluc be okay? Tears start to roll down your cheeks at a rapid speed, you cover your mouth with both of your hands, hoping that none of the maids check up on you from your loud whimpers.

Right now you are in a foreign land— a place where you used to call your 2nd home because of your Fiance— all alone.

Your string of thoughts was disrupted by a knock on your door, “Master [Name], there’s a visitor who wishes to speak to you”

You quickly wipe off your tears. You turn your head facing the door, “Yes Adelaide, tell the visitor to make themselves comfortable in the Drawing (living) room”. You gulp slightly, hoping that Adelaide didn’t notice your husky voice from crying.

“Understood, Master [Name],” Adelaide says, walking away from your room– sounds of her footsteps growing faint.

You ponder for a few seconds on who might be the visitor as you didn’t expect anyone today. If you did expect anyone, then you wouldn’t be crying your ass off.

You sigh, not wanting to entertain the guest, but you have no other choice. You hope the visitor is someone you know, to make things less awkward.

You walk towards your vanity mirror, fixing your appearance to make it presentable, at most– though, your slightly swollen eyes from the intense crying session aren’t making things any better. You look at your reflection in the mirror one last time before you leave your room.

You walk down the stairs and then towards the drawing room-- now the door is right in front of you. You take deep breaths to prepare yourself. You put on a smile, placing your hand on the doorknob. You twist the doorknob and then enter the room.

And are you in for a surprise as your gaze falls onto the visitor sitting on the couch. Your eyes widen as you recognize your visitor, a blonde-haired man wearing a bright red jacket with a pyro vision on his waist.

Noticing that a person entered the room, he turns his head towards the door. Realizing that it is you, he immediately stands up and walks towards you– you freeze on the spot, What is Thoma doing in Mondstadt?

Your heartbeat quickens, hoping that nothing horrible happened to the people you love. Thoma looks at you with a worried and desperate expression. You look at him– mentally preparing yourself for any news this man would bring to you.

“Hello there, Thoma. What brings you to Mondstadt?” You smile.

You observe him as you wait for him to speak. You notice how his eyes look at you desperately, you notice how his hand is shaking, you notice how he slightly opens his mouth and then immediately closes it– as if he’s having a hard time trying to break the news to you.

The more he tries to say something the more your anxiety rises. Did something bad happen to your parents to the point he ran to Mondstadt without informing you beforehand?

After what felt like forever, he speaks up, and god how everything came crashing down from the things he told you.

“The situation in Inazuma is worsening, some citizens have started to revolt, making the country split in two.” He continues, “Lord Ayato is trying his best to tame the situation but it isn’t enough”.

“What about my parents?” you ask.

“Lady [Surname] is doing well, she’s been spending time with Lady Ayaka” he says. You sigh in relief upon hearing your mother is doing just fine. A bit relaxed, you ask about your father “How about father?”

Thoma tenses at your question, which isn’t helping your now rising anxiety at all.

“Lord [Surname] is helping Lord Ayato trying to tame the situation but,” He takes a deep breath then continues, “His health is starting to deteriorate to the point he is currently bed-ridden.”

Your eyes widen and tears start rolling down your eyes. Thoma immediately tries to reassure you that everything will be alright as Ayato hired talented doctors to take care of your father but it isn’t enough. You cover your mouth with your right hand as you sob.

Slowly, you start to calm down, after all a question has yet to be answered. You take deep breaths as Thoma looks at you worriedly. Then you look at Thoma straight in the eye— determined and still a bit tear eyed. You need to do something.

“So, what brings you here to Mondstadt, Thoma?” You said in an eerily low voice, almost as if you weren’t having a mental breakdown.

Chills went down his spine at the tone of your voice. Thoma gulped as he looks at your messed up face desperately, “Please, come back home, [Name], we need you.”

bonus a/n: tbh i want to make this into another love angle but w/ ayato for the extra angst but idk,,,,, should i? hehe

[herrscherrofyatta]

I Love You So

Pairing: Diluc x reader

A/n: just a heads up, I haven't watched the show where the phrases comes from but I plan to watch it soon!

Inspired by a TikTok brainrot of Diluc ✨

✧ this a Fu Hua theme blog✧

You and Diluc spent everyday with each other, even when you two grew up and joined the knights, you always made time for each other. That was until the death of his father, he drifted away and you completely understand it but the way he kept pushing everyone way despite them trying to help him grief Crepus.

"Diluc!" You shout after him, "please, don't go!" He continues to walk away, Adelinde and the rest of the staff watch without a word after all, they too were grieving for Crepus. You grab ahold of his coat, the rain soaking both of you yet you didn't care. "Don't leave, we still need you here."

You feel yourself being pushed onto the ground, the dress you wore being stained with mud yet you continued to look at Diluc but all he did was stare down at you before walking away, the horse carriage waiting for him.

Your quiet cries was the only sound heard as the carriage left and the arms of comfort that wrapped around you as you watched it leave, taking Diluc.

Adelinde hugs you close to her, her face filled with sadness as she hears your sobs and your weak calls for Diluc to come back.

Time after that, you made sure to handle the winery work with the help of the staff and still kept your position in the knights but it was slowly exhausting. A couple years went by after Diluc's leave, you mature into a responsible person and had the title of the 3rd strongest knight by the citizens of Mondstadt.

"Y/n," you look up from your papers that needed to be signed to see Adelinde standing at the doorway, "you look more tired as the days go on, I'm worried for your health. Take a break, will you?" She plead but you shook your head.

"I can't, not yet. Jean needs these papers by tomorrow and I have to go in patrol in a few hours."

The head of the maids frowns at this but she knew talking it out with you would end with no results so she did what she should have done a long time ago.

Write a letter to Diluc.

Another year goes by, "Y/n!" You turn around to see Jean walking towards you as you were standing in of the statue of the seven in windrise. "You requested for some time off?"

You smile at her but it was a tired one, the bags under your eyes was enough for anyone to see how overworked you were. She sighs but smiles, "take off the time you need, you deserve it."

Your time off was scheduled at the end of the month and you already made up your mind where you wanted to spend that time. You had remember an old friend that left for Inazuma to deliver some Dandelion wine to his dad a couple years ago.

That same night you went to the tavern and saw your small group of friends already drinking, Kaeya, Rosaria, Venti and Eula. You all spent the night drinking away and the next day, you work up with a headache and the days continued on.

You didn't know Diluc was coming back soon since you went on with your usual patrol for days.

The maids have already packed your things and all you waited for was the end of the month. "Master Y/n! We're going to miss you a lot! Please come back soon!"

You smile at them, patting their heads as you turn to Adelinde to give her a hug, "thank you for being here with me, sorry for leaving as well." She just smiles, "you deserve it, it's time you grieve properly, enjoy your vacation and don't forget to send letters or else we'll be worried about you."

You laugh at this, before nodding your head, "of course, you guys are my family."

The sound of a carriage was heard outside with the sound of heavy footsteps.

"Oh! That must be my ride to Liyue Harbor, I better get ready to go." The maids grabbed you things and you open the door to find someone you didn't think you'll see after all this time.

"Diluc?" You breath out in surprise and disbelief, there he was, standing in front of you out of breathe. Your eyes widen as you take a step back.

Adelinde smiles at this, "girls, put Y/n things outside in the mean while." You look at her before letting out a small 'oof' as Diluc brought you into a hug.

He doesn't say anything but you see how messy his hair is and how bruised up his skin was and you frown. Yet, you don't say anything and return the hug. He was a lot taller than the last time you saw him so you only reached up to his shoulders.

"I got Adelinde's letter, she said you were leaving Mondstadt." He mutter loud enough for you to hear, everyone had left to give you two some privacy. You nod your head, "yes, I'll be leaving for my vacation, it seems like I overworked myself too hard."

He pulls back and studies your face, his gloved hands hold your face gently

"I'll be leaving for Inazuma." You tell him and his brows furrow at this. "You're leaving just when I come back to you?" You frown.

"Diluc, I waited long enough for you. I'm tired, I really am. You made your decision to leave all those years ago despite how much I said not to leave, you still did."

He lets go of your face and takes a step back, "Stay."

"No, I need a break from this." You tell him.

"Then I'll go with you-"

You stop him there, now you felt angry at the fact that he was willing to leave the winery to the staff once again. "No, your place is here. The winey almost didn't make it since you decided to leave it to us, now you want to come with me and put it at this again? This is what your father left behind and you're throwing it away for someone like me."

"Anywhere with you is fine."

You grit your teeth, "don't be stubborn, I will go to Inazuma and you will stay here, taking care of Dawn Winery."

"No matter how far you go, I will continue to pursue you because I love you."

Your eyes widen as you felt your face heat up, "don't go saying those things so normally, I already decided to leave today. Jean already approved of my vacation for some time now, so don't stop me, please." You tell him, caressing his face before spotting Adelinde outside, she was gesturing to the carriage that arrived for you.

Letting him go, you take a step away to head outside but Diluc grabs ahold of your wrist. You glance back to see the determination on his face.

"Fine, I'll stay but I'll wait for you to come back." You smile at this and he lets you go.

"Thank you." He smiles before he walks you to the carriage and he grabs ahold of your hands, pressing a gently kiss on them.

Your face flushes red at his next words, "you are the bane of all of my existence and the object of all my desire, I mean it."

You press your forehead against his, "Save those words when I come back." He chuckles, "whatever you say, you always deny my feelings for you."

He waves at you before you're out of his eye sight. He turns around and he's bombarded with hugs from the staff, "Master Diluc! You came back, we missed you!"

He sighs at this but he smiles, he would wait forever for you to come back to him.

2 years later

The sound of heels echoed throughout the streets of Mondstadt and it stops in front of Angel Share. Opening the door to the tavern, a familiar voice is heard to greet them. "Welcome, what can I get you to drink?"

The figure smiles, "grape juice." Diluc stops wiping the glass cup and turns around, almost dropping it.

A/n: ehhhh, I didn't like this either but it's alright.

[husbandohunter]

Moments of Despair #1 [Genshin Impact/Diluc x Reader]

Synopsis: “The man who was on fire and realized it too late.”

(A series of works where the boys deal with the passing of their beloved).

Albedo's despair

Warnings: angst, tragedy, major character death, graphic depictions of violence perhaps

(A/n): Had these ideas for a while after reading @/serensama To Mourn series of another fandom. So much sorrow and feeling I just was inspired to write 😫

_______________________________________________

The moment you fell lifeless in Diluc's arms, he wanted to disappear.

It was raining again, he had always despised the rain. How it trickles down the slope of your cheek, like tears falling from the heavens. The sight of it mixing with your blood creating a thin stream of red rivers flowing beside him. They patter down obnoxiously because time didn't care, the gods don't care, the world didn't care. You were just a small fragile person to their eyes but to him you were his light. A candle that used to shine in his dark world was now dissipitated by the waters of reality.

Many droplets have passed and he was still holding you. Diluc could do nothing but stare. He hadn't shed any tears nor could he make a coherent sound. Perhaps it was because his tears have long run out when his father was held in the very same way. Or it was because he was heartless. He's usually told for being cold and indifferent. But the pain clenching in his chest was proof that he still had one (proof that it was still beating), much to his dismay. It would be better if he didn't.

So why can't he just look away? Your wounds, your bruised features, everything now etched so deep into the back of his conciousness that is was starting to awaken his worst nightmares. They were the source of the bile growing in his stomach. The irony stench filling up his nostrils felt so sickening. He couldn't turn away. You're dead. You're dead. You're dead. As if reality had yet to register, or maybe he refused to accept it, Diluc helplessly gazed down your body with blank and empty eyes.

"Master Diluc..."

Jean's voice called out to him pitifully. He rises up with his back turned, ignoring the stares given to him, "Leave. The knights of favonius are not needed here."

"But she's a Mondstadt citizen," The anemo user retorts, slightly taken aback by his impassive reaction, "It's my responsibility to ensure this case doesn't go unnoticed."

Unnoticed. Diluc scoffs in his mind, what a tasteless joke.

"It seems you weren't listening," he announces as his head was turned ajar so they could see the deep hatred glowing red in his eyes, "Leave. Now."

Jean's lips trembled before barely being able to say, "Alright" and retreating her knights back to the city. Kaeya narrows his gaze at his bother, the sorrow was evident through his pupils. He steps forward until he was arms length away from his brother. Too little too late, another failure was added to the belt.

Kaeya was a man of many words but for once he was at loss of what to say. No underhanded suggestions, no ideas taunting him to spill his thoughts, he simply asks Diluc, "What are you planning to do now?"

Silence. Kaeya couldn't predict what sort of expression his brother was making as he looks at your corpse. It brought a heavy weight of unsettlement upon him and here he thought he had already grown used to his brother's quietness.

Slowly, he turns around while letting the water pour down his face. Kaeya tightens his jaw as Diluc drags his feet towards him, stopping when their shoulders were parallel, "It's none of your concern."

"You're just going to leave her here?"

There was a slight pause which was enough of an answer. The Cavalry Captain sighs when he watched him walk away, what was the point of asking when Kaeya knew Diluc so well? He glances at your form before swiftly shutting his eyes.

It was his concern.

-------

A week later, the staff of the Ragnvindr household could hardly recognize their Master's appearance. They knew not to bother him when he decides to lock himself in his chambers. Diluc drowns himself with work from hours to no end as he connects the findings of the person that took your life. As expected, it was one of his enemies- a fatui member. The question was, which one?

"Master Diluc, I beg of you, please take care of yourself," Elzer pleads.

The pyro user didn't bother to spare him a glance or look at the tray of food he carried.

Food...you always brought them whenever he had to work overtime.

"I do not remember specifiying anyone to be allowed in my office," he voices aloud, "If it's related to business affairs simply leave that with Adelinde and I'll take a look at it tomorrow."

"I understand. But you've been working all day and night yet refusing to take any breaks in between. At this rate, you'll harm your health."

The feather pen in his grip kept dragging it's course, "This is beyond the duties assigned to you Elzer."

"That's because it was a request sent by your father," he adds, knowing that stepping over his boundaries may cost him, "If Master Crepus was still here, I'm sure he would have said the same thing."

Taking a deep breath, Elzer lays out his last card, "And also your wife."

The pen slows into a halt.

No one had brought you up until now. Elzer anxiously watches his Master shifting in his seat, his red bangs covering half of his face but he could still see the frown pressing firmly on his lips. It wouldn't be a surprise if Diluc suddenly bursted at him for mentioning such a sensitive topic, all that matters was his master's well being and Elzer was willing to risk everything for it. But nothing. Diluc turns his attention ever so slightly at the tray he carried.

"Fine, but I'm not eating that."

"What? Wasn't this was her favourite-"

"Do I need to repeat myself?"

Elzer furrows his brows before sighing, "...No, Master Diluc."

He exits the room while carrying the fresh dish of Once Upon A Mondstadt that you loved so much. The door closes with a soft click and he was alone again.

People found it strange how Diluc seemed so vacant to your passing. He didn't even show up at your funeral. Instead, he continues his duties as a Mondstadt nobleman like usual while taking care of business matters associated with the winery. Except those who were close to him could see the difference in his actions. Apathy, he was so mechanical in every task he did. Like a marionette attatched on strings, a doll without a soul. After all, his soul died the moment when yours did too. What remains was a shadow of Diluc and a being existing solely for revenge and duty. He was nothing but a remnant.

Fatigue begins to wash over him and he fights to stay awake. Because once he gives in it will all be over. Once he closes his eyes, he would see your face with a multitude of images from the past. He would hear your voice calling out his name from a distant space as it echoes off the walls of his mind. He would fall into a dream where you were still with him and as always, waking up to see that it was never real.

I should have pushed you away.

Because what hurt Diluc the most wasn't that you were gone, rather, it was how you were still here.

Then you'd still be-

Something breaks and it turned out to be the pen he was holding so tightly. Only now Diluc realized how fast his heart was thrumming as beads of sweat began rolling down his forehead. Focus. Don't waste time. He won't grant himself the liberty of anything when your murderer was still on the run. Every wound they inflicted on you was going to be returned in tenfold. He'll make sure of it. That's why, he refuses to think about you at all. Diluc occupies his mind with other matters since at this point, work was the only efficient method of keeping his sanity in tact.

She needs you to focus.

The door opens and Kaeya enters the room while holding a document, "We found the guy."

His reaction was immediate, "Where?"

"Hm, now that we meet, it's actually quite debateable," The captain notes wryly, "When was the last time you've gotten proper rest?"

"I don't have time for this, either you tell me or I'll do it by force."

Kaeya couldn't help but sigh, "Apologies but you don't seem to be in any state for a fight. I'm sure you know how it would end up if you were to face your enemy right now."

"..."

"Diluc, this isn't healthy," Kaeya asserts, it's been a while since he sounded so sincere, "I'm not here to prevent you from doing what's necessary however, perhaps it would be better if I finished it in your stead."

"No," Diluc stubbornly answers, "Hand that over."

"...Heh, then there's really nothing I can do to stop you it seems," he whispers with a sad smile, "At the very least, be careful."

"I intend to," The pyro user snatches the paper parchment out of Kaeya's hands before opening the window, "Also, if Elzer returns, tell him there's a few errands I have to take care of."

The night was a full moon and the sky was empty, Diluc leaps off the edge and disappears into the darkness. There was no telling of what could happen next. Since you weren't here, it was up to Kaeya to watch over him.

-------

The claymore dropped to the ground with a clang as it soaks up the blood of the fatui he just killed.

Diluc was tired, so tired.

He slumps down against the wall from pure exhaustion, all that adrenaline and hatred went up in fumes, leaving behind whatever was left in his heart: nothing. Two hours, not even that far from Mondstadt, the fatui hid in an abandoned building as he cowarded for his life. When Diluc arrived, he never expected this monster to be so weak. This was the person who murdered you? A pathetic nobody that was simply following orders? This was the reason why he lost you forever?

In the end, the only one to blame was himself, for being weak and unable to protect you. He was supposed to be your hero ("Darknight hero," you'd always tease), the rock that shields you just as you had been the warmth he longed for many years, did he give you enough? Was this enough? He thought avenging your death would grant him a peace of mind and the justice you deserved but deep down, he knew it will never be enough when it comes to his love for you.

"Diluc."

He closes his eyes, he hears your voice. He was so tired, it wouldn't be a surprise if he started hallucinating.

"Diluc."

"I'm sorry..."

The man lets out a trembled breath as he apologized to the image of you in his mind. I'm sorry I failed you. They were repeated like a mantra in hopes to reach you somehow. Of course that was impossible, his feelings, his emotions, love and sorrow altogether will never reach you again. And your arms that once comforted him and brushed his hair with a soothing voice, saying everything will be okay, where are they now?

"Diluc."

"Stop," he didn't want to hear your voice.

"Diluc, I'm here."

"Stop..."

"Diluc..."

He jolts his eyes open and lets out a yell, what was he saying? He doesn't know. All he needed now was to drown out the fake voices mocking in his head. Diluc grabs the nearest object and shatters it against the floor, the dam was broken and it flooded uncontrollably, breaking everything in it's way. The abandoned house was filled with loud cries of a man sobbing with agony like a broken-hearted child. He crumbles to his knees and falls to his side, lifting his forearms while clutching his face.

And screamed.

Archons, what did he do to deserve this? Why do the people he cherish get taken away from him? Diluc never wanted to be the Darknight hero if it meant having his father perish in his arms. He didn't want the feeling of stabs against his chest with every breath he took. He didn't want to feel cold while knowing it was because you weren't here to hold him. He didn't want your voice, your pictures or your memory.

He wanted you.

"(Y/n)..." he chokes. Rolling to his back, Diluc moves his arms to cover his eyes, letting the tears run down to his ears, "(Y/n)..."

For who knows how long, he lays there in the abandoned building and mourns. Diluc doesn't have the strength to move from his position, he found himself staring mindlessly through the cracks of the roof when his voice had gone hoarse. The corners of his eyes still burned and his head was throbbing with so much pain. Maybe he should just stay here but the thought of being in the same room as your murderer was unfathomable.

Picking up his claymore once again, Diluc drags himself out of the door. Where would he go? It's not like he had a home to return to because home was when he was with you. A doll without a soul, the marionette moves as if the strings have commanded him to do so. Where ever it takes him, he didn't care. He just knew he had to go.

[petalmadness]

Years.

Warnings: Heavy angst (character death), I almost balled my eyes out in the middle of my English class while writing this.

Overview: And in the bustling streets of Mondstadt, you would still catch glimpses of a man who was no longer there.

Characters: Diluc x reader (Platonic Kaeya x reader).

Gender: No specified pronouns <3

The air was suffocating as you stood above the headstone. A name engraved into its stone that you couldn't bear to see. Rain fell upon your cheeks, mixing in with your tears.

A comforting arm wrapped around your shoulder, pulling you into his chest. You breathed in the familiar scent and couldn't help but sob louder. Your hands clutched onto the fabric of his shirt as he shielded you from the rain.

His arms were tight around you as he took his turn staring down at the headstone. He couldn't believe it, it felt like just yesterday he was collecting shells with his dear brother.

Oh, how cruel this world was.

'Diluc Ragnvindr.'

The name engraved made his heartache as he tried to stay strong for the broken soul in his arms. He knew just how much you had loved his brother, and he knew you were in an unbearable amount of pain because of this.

And although he was grieving too, he knew he had to stay strong for you. So as he dragged you away from the graveyard, he whispered promises into the wind, hoping it carried his words to wherever his brother was now.

The next morning was the worst of all, waking up to a cold bed, craving the warmth of a lover who was no longer. Your eyes were dull as you stared at the empty space on the other side of the bed, trying your best to remember the way his eyes would fill with love as they met yours.

How his arms would wrap around your waist and pull you into his warmth. How his lips would leave trailing kisses down your neck before connecting with yours. How his hands would brush the hair out of your face, and how he would whisper sweet nothings, promises of a bright, happy future.

But that future died right alongside him.

You walked through the empty halls of the Dawn Winery, the air felt suffocating as the maids tried their best to tend to your needs. It was Diluc's last instruction, after all, to make sure you were well taken care of in his absence.

Your eyes observed all the paintings on the walls.

You had always admired Master Crepus' work, he was a talented man and you wished you could've met him. Your eyes landed on a certain picture, one that had your knees shaking and your eyes burning with tears.

It was a picture of Diluc and Kaeya when they were kids. Both smiling happily, their arms were thrown over each other's shoulders. They looked so happy, so at peace.

Your legs gave in as you clutched the fabric above your chest, letting out cries and violent sobs, your tears staining the hardwood floor as you screamed out for your lover.

All of a sudden, you were pulled into a warm embrace. Part of you expected to look up and see your red-haired lover, but a bigger part of you knew there was no chance.

"It's okay, let it out." A soothing voice echoed in your head as he softly lulled you to calm down, rubbing soothing circles on your back while he allowed you to cry into his shoulder.

After your sobs had died down and turned into soft sniffles, you kept your head on the man's shoulder, having no energy to lift your head or move at all.

"Kaeya...?" Your voice was strained from crying.

"Hm?" He hummed, you could feel the vibration through his chest.

"What do we do now...?" You whispered out, trying your hardest not to break out in tears again. He stayed silent for a moment, seemingly trying his best to think of an answer that could comfort you, but he came up with nothing.

"I'm not sure...I wish I knew, but I have never had to deal with this ever since our father died, and that was a long long time ago." He let out a shaky sigh, trying to keep his composure.

You didn't say anything else. You knew he was struggling as well so you opted to just sit in silence, offering your comfort to the man who was grieving just as much as you were.

About a month after his death, you had taken over managing Angel's Share and now tried your best to run the Dawn Winery. At the start, it was difficult as everything reminded you of him, sending you into hysterics.

However, you had gotten used to it all. It was difficult, but you knew you couldn't let all his hard work go to waste. You knew you couldn't let his memory fade.

With the help of your friends, you were able to rebuild and bring color back into your dull world. The Winery was bustling once again and Angels share was as lively with drunks as ever.

A memorial was set up in the tavern for your lover, and people poured and drank to his name, wishing him the best in his eternal slumber. Some even sang songs in his honour, dancing around the bar. It warmed your heart to see how many people had cared for him, despite his cold exterior.

People at the tavern would always try their best to comfort you, but you could only laugh at their futile attempts to sound sympathetic while under the influence of alcohol.

You tried to be optimistic, but there were moments where everything faded back to black and white. There were moments where the silence in the winery at night suffocated you. Moments where the cold bit at your cheeks as you attempted to lull yourself to sleep.

Just over 2 years had passed since then, and life had seemed to go back to normal. Mondstadt was as cheery and vibrant as ever, and your heart no longer churned at the thought of your late lover.

Instead of pain, all you felt was love for him. Even after his death you still adored Diluc, and even if he was no longer here, your heart would forever belong to him.

You longed to see him again, but you knew you would get to see him one day. Even if it took years and years, you knew you would see him again.

And as you walked the bridge in front of the city, you looked back to see the faint silhouette of him. A smile adorned his features as his familiar red hair blew in the wind.

Tears welled up into your eyes as you smiled back, watching as his image faded from view. His dead vision lit up for a moment and you could feel the heat radiate off of it before it fell dull once again.

"Till we meet again, my love."

Note: Fun fact, let a few tears slip on this one.

(This is unedited.)

[bukojuiice]

farewell, my dark knight. — diluc ragnvindr

ೃ ft. diluc x gender neutral! reader

ೃ 6k words

ೃ tags and warnings: angst. a sweet and lovestruck diluc. reminiscing memories with him. he writes you letters and talks to you about his day. he’s very soft and he’s very much in love with you.

ೃ requested by anon:  “hi! could i request a diluc x reader, in which diluc dies from a mission, and as reader is cleaning out his room, they find letters neatly packed into drawers, and with closer inspection, they are letters diluc wrote to reader every day, so when he isn’t around anymore, reader can read them and not forget about him? sorry i’m a sucker for angst and your writing omg” (thank you for this request! and for making me cry while writing it! <3 i put a lot of work into this, so i hope everyone enjoys!)

ೃ genshin impact masterlist

ೃ if you want to be a part of my taglist, answer this form! ♡ (please like and most esp. reblog if you enjoyed! it means a lot!)

They say all your senses and your feelings are heightened when you are broken and mourning.

You hear things more clearly like the tenderness of his voice because it’s better than listening to the drum of your heart.

You feel the sun, the air, and his gentle touch on your skin because you are trying to feel things instead of shutting down. 

You smell his perfume and the scent of the pancakes he used to make- everywhere. 

You still feel his fingers as though they are knotted through yours and it makes you cry.

It hurts.

It pains you. 

This is the most tragic day of your life.

“Sir Diluc has.. passed away.” Jean announces, reaching for your hands and squeezing them in support. She pulls you inside a spare and lonely room in the Ragnvindr manor. Lisa is at her side, for extra emotional support, handing you a spare handkerchief as they break the news to you. 

Your heart sank. 

You were not the first to know. But, even if you were… there was no possible way.

 You were a traveling adventurer in search of something that will quell your curiosities; disappearing for days or weeks on end. There were times when Diluc would come with you on your travels and the two of you would just go wherever your heart desires. Staying in Qingce Village and mingling with the elderly townsfolk, Visiting the Adeptus abode, strolling around Springvale or vacationing in the summer islands… there was nothing that could stop the two of you together. 

As two of the heroes of Mondstadt from the Stormterror incident and his status as the esteemed owner of the Dawn Winery, you were famed and loved by all. Though as Diluc was not one for friendliness or casual interactions with others, It was all because of you that he had befriended some particular members of the Adventurer’s guild and the Knights of Favonius. You had even asked them if they could visit the Dark Knight hero at the winery from time to time. 

Well, aside from the regular visits of Venti and Kaeya to satisfy their quench for wine, Jean accompanied by Amber and Lisa to ask for advice, uncommon visitors such as Klee and Albedo had even come by to accompany him now and show him their wonderful new experiments and discoveries….

 You had given him a reason to have hope in the people of Mondstadt once again. His previous faction with the Favonius knights may have been imperfect, but Jean had proved to be amazing enough to rectify all these past mistakes that had eased Diluc’s resentment to the knights.

You continue to count back to all the things that he has done for you. As someone who’s had no home and who’s been traveling all their life, Diluc became your home. He had fallen for you and your wondrous soul. He was your living reminder that you can find home in a person. Someone who you can rely on, someone you will come back to after a long tiring day, someone who will love you for who you are and who will kiss your flaws away.  

And now, he’s gone. Just like that.

You have been gone for three months prior to all of this as you were on a secret commission to fight off a huge group of treasure hoarders in Natlan. Although you were able to travel back to Fontaine shortly after, you had to wait for further instruction from the guild before you could come back to Mondstadt. At the time, the only thoughts to occupy your mind was Diluc who had been waiting for your return and your longing and desire to run into his arms and for him to kiss your tiredness away. 

However, it took two agonizing days before Jean’s letter had arrived. All you could do was weep and worry endlessly at the inside of a quaint inn at the heart of the bustling and picturesque region that was Fontaine. Inside her letter were updated reports of Diluc’s disappearance; he had been missing for three days without telling the maids or any of the inhabitants of the mansion and the winery of his departure. He left without a trace…

As soon as the sun had risen that same day, you quickly left the region and made your way back to Mondstadt. With no knowledge or premonition that at the same day…

Diluc would be found.

On the road to Mondstadt, the staff at the Winery had been going on their merry day to deliver the wine to the city, when they came across a body. Battered and bruised. Upon closer inspection, it was their dearest master; the current head of the Ragvindr family. Further suspicion arose when a hoard of Fatui members had been defeated; lying beside the riverbend not too far from the manor. The Knights of Favonius had quickly deduced that Diluc had crawled all the way back to the outskirts of the Manor but had unfortunately succumbed to his injuries. 

From that day on, the sun had never shined again. 

Your stomach was in knots. You had a feeling that something had happened and yet, you didn’t expect for it to be something like this. You didn’t expect to hear about the state that he was in when he was found.

He’s strong. He’s the Dark Knight Hero, One of the protectors of Mondstadt; Hell, he’s one of the most powerful vision users of the region.

Yet… how did this happen?

A knock on the door had brought you out of your trance. With a simple “Come in.” said by Jean, the guest in question was revealed to be Kaeya who peered out from the door. A forlorn expression plastered upon his face. His head turns and your eyes meet his, “(Y/N)... how are you doing?” His voice gentle and melancholic. 

“N-never been better.” You remark in between sobs. “I-I need time to process this.” Wiping your tears with the handkerchief, you stand up, about to take your leave. “I-I’ll be in my room if you need me.”

“According to the Favonius accords, Sir Diluc must be buried tom-”

“To hell with the Favonius accords!” You snap, still trying to fight back the tears as the three knights stare at you in shock and in empathy. “M-master Jean… p-please. Just one more day. Before I have to say goodbye to him forever… Let me have one day to reminisce about him.”

The Acting Grandmaster hesitates, as if collecting her thoughts first before she speaks. “Very well. We will be arranging the burial and other matters in the near future. For now, please get all the rest and recuperation you need. Thank you for your time, honorary knight. We’ll see you in a few days.” Jean holds your hand and gives it another reassuring squeeze as she and Lisa watch your walking figure make your way out of the room. 

Kaeya, who was still in front of the entryway, moves to the side to give you some space to make your leave. “Before the maids fully clean up his room, why don’t you tune in there for the night? I’m sure Diluc would love that.” 

“He would.” You smile half-heartedly, the indigo-haired man giving you a reassuring pat on the arm. “T-thanks Kaeya. I will.” 

“I’ll be staying in the manor for the rest of Diluc’s memorial if you want t-to… talk about him. See you around.” You nod at him before shuffling down the stairs to enter the manor wing that led to Diluc’s room.

Oh, how you wish you were as calm as Jean and as emotionally mature as Kaeya right now. 

How are they able to hold up so well? How are they able to take this all in and not be on the verge of breakdown like you are? They’ve known Diluc since childhood. Hell, Kaeya was his adopted brother. His brother in arms. How are they able to accept his death just like that? 

Are you just… not as strong as them?

You take a left turn around the manor wing that leads to Diluc’s room to be surprised by Adelinde who greets you in front of Diluc’s door, a torn and bloodied folded paper in her hands. “Honorary knight, we have a letter addressed to you. The staff at the winery found it tucked inside Master Diluc’s pocket. You might want to read it.” She gingerly hands you the folded piece, patting your hand gently once she places it in your palm.

“Thank you, Adelinde.” 

You turn your attention to unlocking the door, fishing for the spare key that he had given you and inserting it into the knob, you hear the head maid speak behind your back. 

“Whilst you were away, there was never a day that Master Diluc had not spoken about you with such love and praise. I hope you know in your heart how much he loves and cherishes you. As there was never another person in his life who he had loved the most after Sir Crepus’ passing.” She recounts, her voice is slow and meek. “Thank you for loving Master Diluc and for showing him what it truly means to be a part of a family again. The entire staff sends our deepest condolences and we will be here for you and Sir Kaeya whenever you need us.” From the side of your eye, you see Adelinde bowing deeply before she subsequently takes her leave and disappears into the hallway.

With a heavy sigh, the door clicks and you enter your beloved’s abode. 

Not one thing has been touched. It still looks and remains the same.

His coat is still hanged on his wardrobe door, his usual button up black dress shirts folded neatly on one of the drawers, books that he’s read to you time and time again are shelved properly, a hearth in front of the bed that reminded you of your endless cuddles in front of the fireplace, his gloves neatly placed on his bedside table, and pictures of the two of you together in the Golden Apple Archipelago taken with the Kamera are hung on clips and strings on his desk.

It was like he never left. 

Like his physical being had just gone off on a long adventure.

Yet, it feels so empty. 

Because his soul and his presence is no longer here with you.

And it hurts. Everything hurts.

You take a seat on his bed. The mattress slightly creaks as you reach for an unusual piece of paper sticking out of his bedside drawer. Opening the cabinet slowly, your suspicion and curiosity heightens when what is revealed to be inside was a wooden box. Engraved were Diluc’s initials and letters that spelled out “Do not touch” 

Curiosity overwhelming you, you gingerly open the wooden box to be surprised with folded letters written by Diluc that were all addressed to you. Along with the date and time it was made. 

He wrote letters every single day. Hoping that once you came home, you could finally read them. Trying your best not to burst into tears, you carefully look through all of them and notice that they were all written during your absence. During those three agonizing months that you were gone. 

Although his daily letters were short and simply written, he never fails to write to you an encompassing message at the end of the week. In each weekly letter, he entailed many things: Like writing to you about his day, how much he misses you, how much time has passed, and discussing particular things he found during his nightly patrols or interesting things about his day. He wrote letters to you as if you were right there with him. His words etched with simplicity yet full of love. He wrote these letters to be whisked away from a minute of his otherwise mundane life. And despite how uneventful they may be, he still shares them with you because he knows you will listen. He knows you will take your time to read everything. As even though the two of you may be thousands of miles apart, your hearts will still beat as one.

You finally find the one that he had written for you the day after your departure, and begin to read it’s contents. Preparing yourself for an overflow of emotions that you were not ready for. 

JANUARY 3RD, 45 BP

As much as I hate to see you go, I realized that life has plans for all people. Even if those plans separate us from the ones we love. For the recent years that have passed, I have seen staff at the winery and maids in the manor come and go. And yet, I still haven’t gotten used to seeing you go off on your adventures. There are times I wish I could just be free of all of these responsibilities and come along with you on your escapades. But alas, I will presume that life is not for me. Always know that no matter where my life takes me or yours takes you, I will love you whether there are 1000 miles between us or none at all.

I miss you already, my love.

May the stars of Teyvat always shine upon us.

JANUARY 10TH, 45 BP

A week has come to pass since you left and I’ve been trying my best to keep myself busy. Kaeya has come to visit me and so has Venti, but they have done absolutely nothing to alleviate my boredom. In fact, they’ve all been a pain in the arse. When I tossed them into two of the guest rooms for passing out drunk, I was suddenly reminded of the times that you would wait for me at the Angel’s Share and help me drag Rosaria back to the cathedral, Kaeya back to his residence, and Venti back to the tree in Windrise. Then, we would take a night stroll around the city as the dwindling lights of the shops and houses being the only things illuminating our way. I cannot wait to do all of this with you again. It feels like the universe closes in around us whenever we’re together. But… the moment is so fleeting and you are gone again. The universe is awfully large and I am awfully small,  unable to hold the world with my hands. I just wish you were here to make me feel as if the universe is close enough to reach once more. 

Good night, my love.

May the stars of Teyvat always shine upon us.

JANUARY 17TH, 45 BP

It is 9 o’ clock in the evening as I write this. Today, Bennett had visited and asked if I could train him to control his vision. I said yes as I had nothing much better to do. Fischl and Razor were there to accompany him as well. To be quite honest, they’re quite a convivial trio. It’s nice to see them remain free-spirited despite everything that has happened recently. I could not bear to remain as cheerful as they are amidst the constant abyss order and Fatui attacks. After our training, Razor had come up to me and told me that you and I are lupical. I didn’t quite understand at first, but with Fischl’s long and heavy explanation, I had come to understand what it meant: Family.

Perhaps… we can be a family? Have a family of our own?

Oh… wait. I know, it’s too soon. So, please disregard my wishful thinking for now. I’d like to apologize if that may have come out the wrong way.

Thank you for reading today’s letter, my love.

May the stars of Teyvat always shine upon us.

JANUARY 24TH, 45 BP

I finished a book I borrowed from the Favonius library today. Lisa said you've been eyeing the tome for a long time. However, since Ella Musk was borrowing it at the time and you had to leave shortly for your trip to Natlan, you never got the chance to. I'd like to apologize for having been able to read it in advance. Perhaps, I can read it to you once you get home? Maybe in front of the fireplace, blankets hugging us for warmth, and cups of hot chocolate in our hands? Anyhow, there was something I found interesting about it.

There are Sumeru philosophers who claim that the past, present, and future all exist at the same time. That there are parallel universes. It had me thinking, in another universe... Would we still be together? Will fate bring us together? Could there be more for us outside of this blue sky we share?

I'm sorry for making you worry. It's probably my insomnia kicking in. These past twenty days have been quite lonely without you.

Goodnight, my love. May the stars of Teyvat always shine upon us. 

JANUARY 31ST, 45 BP

I can’t believe that January has finally come to pass. It feels like forever since you left. I know, I know, I sound like I’m sulking. But… the thoughts I had from finishing the book last week still have not left my mind. If only I could close my eyes and find myself in the place wherever you are right now. Kind of like…. What were those called? Waypoints? Yes! Those. Mayhaps, I should pay Sucrose or Albedo a visit and ask if they could make a portable wayfinder for me or a potion that can teleport me anywhere? Well, at least I have something interesting to do tomorrow. 

See you soon, my love. May the stars of Teyvat always shine upon us. 

FEBRUARY 7TH, 45 BP

The day you left, I went through all my old journals, frantically looking for the first mention of you. Searching for details I can no longer recall and any morsel of information that may have been lost. It honestly made me laugh at how different I used to think of you back then. You were always a kindred soul and yet, there was an eccentric air around you that I just couldn't quite understand. It was the good kind, of course. I have never thought ill of you since the beginning. Ever since the tragedy that befell my father, I would push everyone away from me. I told myself that if you didn't form close bonds with others, then you wouldn't get attached to them. They would be easier to let go and you could. But... you were the first who went out of your way for me. The first time you entered Angel's Share and challenged me to a game of chess solely because someone from the Adventurers' guild told you so? I knew there was something about you. Something wonderful. I wish to show you these old journals soon. Mayhaps you can get a clearer picture of my thoughts and impressions of others once you read them. 

For now, all I can do is count the days until you are home once more.

 Goodnight my love, may the stars of Teyvat always shine upon us.

FEBRUARY 14, 45 BP

People should fall in love more. Fall in love with how the dandelions blow with the wind, Fall in love with the safe and comforting feeling of being in the middle of a bustling city that is Mondstadt, Fall in love with the stars and the night that shines before us and Fall in love with the idea of being in love or loving someone. Having recently realized these things, I had the most spontaneous idea of wanting to get married in the Winery with you. In the future, of course. I know it’s not much. But I know you’re not the type to want anything fancy, so it’s the perfect area for the most beautiful moment of our lives to take place.

I had gotten a little too into the idea of planning our wedding and I aimlessly listed down those who will be attending. All our closest friends and family. Can you imagine Little Klee as the flower girl? Kaeya as the best man? Jean and Lisa as the maids of honor? Maybe we can even ask Eula to choreograph our wedding dance for us? Most importantly, have the wonderful honor of having the Lord Barbatos to officiate our marriage?

Once again, I hope you can pardon me and my blissful escapism. I can’t wait for the day to arrive where we can plan all of this and make it a perfect wedding.

As always, thank you for reading my constant rambles and inner thoughts, my love.

May the stars of Teyvat always shine upon us.

FEBRUARY 21ST, 45 BP

If you were taken away from me, this place called our world, I would cry.

Sighing, wringing my hands, and wondering why.

How can the archons and those up in Celestia dare to take the most precious soul in the universe from me?

But... what if I would be the one who would be taken away from you? Will you feel the same way too?

FEBRUARY 28TH, 45 BP

Please excuse me for everything I said in my message last week. I may have sounded somewhat selfish and I'd like to apologize for making you overthink when you already have so much on your plate. I cannot wait to mail out these letters to you, but the postal office in Monstadt doesn't deliver letters to Natlan, unfortunately. I guess I have to wait until you reach Fontaine. Putting those aside for a moment, something happened today that I wanted to share with you. Whilst I was feeding Noctua, I had realized something. What about the little birds who dream of flight? Those who gaze into the starry night and think that one day... they might be a part of that same sky? To be free, to explore, and to have the feeling of air and light coursing through their wings. Is... this the same feeling you felt before? Is this why you go on adventures?

I'd love to talk to you more about this once you get home. For now, all I can do is write you a letter and bid you goodnight. 

May the stars of Teyvat always shine upon us.

March 7TH, 45 BP

Whenever I write a letter addressed to you, I feel a raw ache in my bones when the ink seeps into the paper— for I feel the bittersweet sorrow of wanting you to be right by my side, to have my fingers intertwined with yours, and to be exhumed by you because you have always seen past all my flaws and imperfections. I miss you. So much. At this point, it feels as if I have no right to. Tell me... is it right to feel this way? Am I being selfish for wanting the days to come by? For April to be in our midst? Can I blame the archons for wanting to have you in my arms again? There’s something happening next week, and to be honest, I’m quite excited for it. See you soon, my love.

 May the stars of Teyvat always shine upon us.

March 14TH, 45 BP

Today is the first day of the Windblume Festival. How I terribly wish you were in Mondstadt right now. This would have been your first year and I know you would love the events. I remember when Father brought Kaeya and I to the festival for the very first time, and oh how my eyes were filled with wonderment and unshaken innocence. He gifted us a harp that day, and I still play it when I have time. It’s a wonderful keepsake with a lovely name, (The Windblume Ode) and it never fails to remind me of my father. I wonder if… Kaeya still kept his? Nostalgia aside, Venti caught up to me on the way home and told me I should see what he has in store for the second week of the festival. I know that the bard has a lot up his sleeve, but this particular encounter with him filled me with curiosity. What could it be? What does he have in store for me?

Before I end this, I bought you a bouquet of Dandelions and Cecilias today. They have a different color than the usual wreaths and posies, as these ones only bloom during Windblume. I placed them inside the vase on your desk just a few minutes ago. I do not necessarily have green thumbs, so please do not blame me if anything bad happens. I made sure that they’re still in season once you get home and I can’t wait for you to see them.

Goodnight my love, May the stars of Teyvat always shine upon us.

MARCH 21ST, 45 BP

Once you get home, please do assist on reprimanding the bard for me. Can you believe he had tricked me into attending his love poem-making classes? Since a lot of the cityfolk have been dying to take writing classes under him and were willing to pay if he did, he had decided to take this opportunity to receive mora and “get rich.” Venti brags to the cityfolk that he will use their compensation for good reasons… but we all know he’ll just spend it wasting away at Angel’s Share. I won't let him pass me when it’s my hour to manage the tavern, of course. But… maybe one drink as a prize for all his hard work wouldn’t be too bad? After all, I did learn a lot of things from him. He was also quite smart for incorporating such an activity with Windblume. As during the festivities,  the people of Mondstadt offer Windblumes to Barbatos and to those they love and adore. 

I spent all day being mentored and trained into creating “the most romantic poem written in Teyvat” I know Venti is bluffing and was just trying to soften me so I wouldn’t get mad at him, yet he was actually genuinely impressed with my poetic skills. I didn’t want anyone else to read it before you did, but he snatched the paper from my hands as soon as I finished so that he may critique it. I… didn’t expect him to shed a tear. 

Here is the poem I wrote for you, my love. I hope you’ll like it.

“I wish one day, I'd be able to lay you down on a bed of roses with

the stars watching over us.

I wish one day we will be able to see the world together, to touch the stars and become planets.

After all, darling, stars, like life, is what you make of it. 

 I wish you knew how much I've loved you for all these years, so quietly, so loudly.

One day these roses will never compare to the redness in your cheeks, the softness of your heart.

 One day you will see kingdoms rise and the sun dance on your eyelids.

 And one day the moon will hang from your fingertips, waiting for you to refract your light and hope onto others.

You are an enigmatic being. A beautiful soul. Sometimes I think that you’re not from this universe.

 You have enraptured my soul; my whole being. You taught me how to love. 

Everything about you is out of this world and I am merely a human amazed by your interstellar presence as if you are written in the stars.”

 MARCH 28TH, 45 BP

I think I’ve gotten the hang of writing poems. I’m quite confident in my lyricism and in my writing now. So, here’s an excerpt of another poem I’m writing for you. 

 “I will love you through all the days and nights we are apart.

I will love you through every day and as the darkness turns to light. 

It is four o’ clock in the afternoon and this is the hardest part.

But this is the way I love you, even if most days we are apart.” 

 That’s all for now. I’m afraid you’ll only see the final draft once you get back. I hope you’re having a wonderful time at Natlan. Take care always, my love.

 May the stars of Teyvat always shine upon us.

 APRIL 4TH, 45 BP

I’ve been pondering about something again today. And It’s all because of Kaeya and Jean. They came over and we reminisced all day long about our childhood memories with tea and crumpets to accompany us. It was a nice feeling. To be able to look back on your childhood with such wistfulness. With such warmth. And with that, I realized something soon after: We’re young, but not that young. Some of the folk in Springvale are sixty-five and still feel young. Even Lord Barbatos feels young. Just because we have years ahead of us doesn’t mean our love isn’t going to last a lifetime. But… that’s the thing. We don’t have an entire lifetime to show love and affection towards each other and to others. Which is why we have to make the most of it. Live in the moment. Make the most of every minute that your heart is beating. Love endlessly. Be kind to others. That’s… what you always told me right? Even if we don’t have the rest of our lives to be with each other, I will still love you anyway. Every day, deeply, wholeheartedly, even if we are young and even if we are old. My love for you will be gentle, but fierce and bold.

That is all for now, my love. May the stars of Teyvat always shine upon us.

April 11TH, 45 BP

The words are melting in my mouth like snow, and I feel like I'm running on empty, but there are only 5 days until you come home. I have dreamt every night of the morning we are together again. You will be drinking dandelion wine and I will be talking about how the orchard will finally bloom. Then in the next few months, we can do everything we dreamed about. We can go around the winery, have picnics amongst the stars, walk around Mondstadt and go on adventures once more. Soon, you will be home, and I will watch the leaves and patiently wait for time to pass by  until we are together again. 

 But.. since I cannot wait no more, I plan to travel all the way to Fontaine to see you. I will not be telling any of the maids or the staff where I’ll be going. They would worry if I left again. This is all going to be a surprise and this letter will proof of that. I want to be beside you once more and I cannot bear to wait for five more days. I will be leaving at Dawn tomorrow! I’ll treat this as a little vacation. I rightfully deserve it as a treat for my birthday, hoping I can spend it together with you. Maybe… we can take a quick detour and go on a little adventuring? Just the two of us. I know you’ll be weary from your trip, but we can continue to stay at Fontaine but we can go once you’ve fully recovered.

 I cannot wait to feel your warmth and your love in person again. See you soon, my beloved.

 May the stars of Teyvat always shine upon us. 

That was it. That was the last letter stored in the box. 

 You stare into nothingness, unable to find the words to say. 

 Tears began to form in your eyes, your vision blurring and your hands quivering at the thought of him. All these letters he’s written to you all throughout these months and the fact that he was planning to surprise you by meeting with you at Fontaine? It hurts you so much thinking of all the things that could’ve been. Thinking about what could’ve happened if this tragedy did not take place.

 “Diluc…”

 You call out for his name. Hoping there is an answer. 

 But… of course there isn’t. 

 Your hands absentmindedly graze upon the corners of the  bed when you suddenly remember the torn letter Adelinde had given you. 

 You open the letter with slight hesitance, noticing the dark stains that presumably came from Diluc’s torn and dirtied clothes. With a heavy sigh and as you dry your tears, you begin to read the letter. 

APRIL 13TH, 45 BP

Ever since you left, I felt as if we were breaking the whole world's heart. But... all this time, it was always the other way around. It was the world that was slowly breaking us. 

 Even in these last moments, I cannot fathom that I will be disappearing from this world without even seeing you again. It hurts. My body. There are bruises and wounds all over. My hands are trembling in fear and weariness. I can barely move my wrist and I can hardly think of the words I want to say. I feel the end is drawing near. Not for the world, not for you, but for me. Everything is caving in, my senses are slowing, my eyes are falling, and just waiting for the rest of my system to put me into an eternal sleep. 

 Would... time be so kind as to slow? Can the world stop for a minute and listen to my plea? To my call? A miracle to happen that could magically transport you to me? I w-wish we could have spent more time together. All these letters I’ve written for you these past few months… were they an omen? Was I foolish to think I could have a future with you? Is this the price to pay for having been separated from you for so long? Is it… still possible to attain it? The life I’ve always wanted with you?  Maybe in another world, we can. 

We will share every innocent dream and talk about our fears. All your hopes and dreams. I will listen to the sound of your voice and the echoes of your soul. I will kiss your forehead, your knuckles, and your lips. I will stand by you in every new day even when people seem so unkind. I will join up all your insecurities, bundle all your flaws, and make them into a constellation so that I may find them and wish them away. I will do everything to make you feel safe. I will do everything to make you feel loved. There was never a day that I doubted you. You are everything to me, (Y/N). You are a free and wandering soul. I wish I could be behind you to support you wherever you may go, but alas, that fate is not for me. And… I think that’s fine.

 Remain as you are. Continue to love others like you have loved me. Teach them what it means to live. Like you have taught me.

 Please… don’t be sad. This is the momentary sadness to a new beginning, my beloved.

I love you to the stars and back. 

I hope that in another world, our paths may cross again. 

May the stars of Teyvat always shine on you.

A heavy yet comforting feeling fills your heart as tears continue to stream down your cheeks. Folding the letter and putting it into the box amongst all the others, You clutch your hand to your chest, looking up at the ceiling.

 “Diluc, my love… if you are out there. I will love you forever. Through all these months of my absence, you have never left my mind and I wish I could have been there  for you. I wish I could have given you the same amount of love that you have given me. There are so many things I wish I could have done with you. Every letter and every word you’ve ever dedicated to me will forever remain in my heart. These handwritten sentiments will be one of my reminders that you are still with me, no matter where I go. Even if it hurts so much, I will continue to live for you. Honor your memory. I will show the world that I have only loved one man in this lifetime. Thank you for everything.

 You have now become one of the stars that shine down upon me. Soon, we will once again meet in the same sky and there, we will have our happily ever after.

 Farewell, my dark knight.”

ೃ taglist: @ganyuuxs @mignonextte @inlovewithadeptusxiao @duhsies @qimiie @kozu-zumi @volleybloop @latteshinsou @catgirlkomi @reaped-winnower @monaa @dibhachu @sugurus-princess​ @midnightangelfox​ @call-me-moonflower

[luckhound]

— heavy burdens.

pairing.  kaeya/gender neutral reader

genre.  angst

description.  on an important anniversary, kaeya gets drunk off his ass, bonds with a fellow captain, and realizes some burdens can’t ever be set back down.

warnings.  spoilers for kaeya and diluc’s character stories. mentions of alcohol and a character (kaeya) being under the influence.

note.  four months later and i’ve finally finished this fic after writing it on and off for that whole time mskfjdks a big thank you to sierra, miya, and grace for reading over the previous drafts of this and giving me their honest thoughts, love you ladies <3

He hadn’t expected to get shitfaced when he had first stepped foot in the tavern. Honest.

His plan for the evening was as follows: Go to Angel’s Share, chat with patrons, share some laughs, learn some secrets, and see where the night goes. Only the information he gleaned would tell how it ended; with him stumbling back to his quarters for a night’s rest, or ruminating on how to dismantle schemes that enemies of Mondstadt were concocting in the shadows.

So, the usual. Nothing too noteworthy.

Then he happened to overhear a conversation on the way there.

The two civilians spoke in low, somber tones about how it has been exactly one year since Master Crepus’s death and his son Diluc’s subsequent departure from Mondstadt. How terrible, they mused as they shook their heads, that the new winery master hasn’t been heard from since. He must still be in mourning over his father.

Kaeya nearly stopped in the middle of the crowded street. Was today really the one-year anniversary of Master Crepus’s death? How had it managed to slip his mind? He’s been busy lately with a promising lead, true, but to think that he would forget...

Which, long story cut ruthlessly short, leads him to where he is now. Tuning out his tumultuous thoughts with the help of alcohol and secrets.

Upon entering the tavern to raucous cheers, he had flitted from table to table like the social butterfly he's purported to be. The usual suspects greeted him with varying levels of warmth, inviting him to sit and keep them company. Stable hands and bandits alike shared a drink with him, words spilling from their lips like the fine wine they supped on.

After some time, though, he grew tired of their monotonous days and banal gripes. So he retreated to the bar counter. As he nursed a Death After Noon, he kept an ear out, listening carefully even as he chatted with Charles between customers.

Unfortunately, he hasn’t heard anything juicy yet. So and so is complaining about his wife, while someone else is haranguing her boss, and another is celebrating their birthday. Dull and uninteresting.

Can you blame him for getting so deep in his cups? There’s nothing else to do on such a slow night.

“So this is where you decided to hide out. Colour me surprised.”

Kaeya notes the shadow falling over the counter moments before a familiar drawl reaches his ears. He tilts his head up, blinking furiously when his vision blurs. The drinks he's downed thus far—how many has it been? He lost count after five, how unlike him—have certainly reached his bloodstream.

You stand beside his stool, your lips thinned into an unimpressed line. Despite how inebriated he is, the relevant information he has on you flashes through his mind. A Knight of Favonius. Captain of the Intelligence Team. Once a company grade officer, then sergeant, lieutenant, before ascending to captain upon the retirement of your superior.

As admired as he is by most of Mondstadt, you’re among the minority who are far from his biggest fans. For good reason, he supposes. During your first meeting, he had congratulated you on your promotion, before going on to flippantly insult your old captain. You’ve hated him ever since.

Which is why he’s puzzled by you approaching him first—outside of headquarters, at that. Such a phenomenon is rare, like catching a crystalfly in your hands.

“Captain! Fancy seeing you here,” he greets, adopting a jovial tone. Then your words register in his addled mind. “‘Hide out’, you said? Whatever would I do that for?”

You prop a hand on your hip. “You didn’t make an appearance at the meeting today. Needless to say, the Dandelion Knight isn’t too impressed with you at the moment.” You appraise him, looking underwhelmed by what you see. Ouch. “Strange. You don’t seem terribly ill to me.”

Ah. That. Kaeya had wanted to investigate some curious rumours he’d heard around the city, so he made up a flimsy excuse to dodge the captain’s meeting held this morning. Grand Master Varka likely hadn’t batted an eye over it, but not Jean. She’ll have concerns.

He hums noncommittally. The thought of annoying his oldest ally never fails to bring a smirk to his lips, but he isn’t quite in the mood right now. “Is that so. You must be here to sternly tell me to clean up my act then.”

You scoff. “Surely you don’t need a second babysitter. No, I’m off-duty, so I’m here for the same reason everyone else is: to drink.”

“Hear, hear.” He lifts his tankard as if to toast to you, but the sudden momentum causes him to sway dangerously in his seat.

“Careful!” Eyes widening in alarm, you reach out to steady him. “Geez, Alberich. How many drinks have you had?”

The palm of your hand is warm where it sits on his shoulder; he can tell that even with his furs in the way. He almost leans into the touch but catches himself at the last second. How mortifying. He can just picture your horrified reaction to him drunkenly nuzzling up against you.

Almost falling off his seat in a crowded tavern, instinctively seeking out your slightest touch... He needs to get a hold of himself. Or find a way to halt the conversation here, so he can resume drinking by his lonesome.

“Not nearly enough,” he answers airily, leaning an elbow on the bar counter. You drop your hand to your side; he makes a point to not stare at it as you do. “Where’s your entourage? I’m surprised they aren't following dutifully behind you.”

“They’re my subordinates, not my entourage.” You shift awkwardly. “And they aren’t here. It may surprise you, but they have lives outside of the Intelligence Team. They can enjoy one evening without their captain breathing down their necks.”

He eyes you in amusement. “In that case, you should join me. I would welcome the company.” He finishes off his tankard, then motions to Charles for another drink. The bartender doesn’t even ask which one as he takes the pewter mug. He knows him well by now, after all.

Kaeya expects you to turn him down and find a seat elsewhere. Usually, such an invitation is enough to send you running for the hills. You lean a hip against the counter instead, as if settling in. “If I am not mistaken, you’re needed at headquarters tomorrow. I strongly advise you to call it a night, Captain.”

“Aww, are you worried about me, Captain?” He manages a grin at the scowl his reply elicits. “Don’t be. It won’t be the first time I stumble into work hungover. Certainly won’t be the last either.”

“How reassuring,” you say dryly.

“I aim to please.”

He perks up when Charles returns with a full tankard. The delectable taste of Death After Noon still sits on his tongue, warm and heady. He very much wants to experience it again. When he lifts the mug to his mouth, however, he misses the rim. He steadies the tankard before it empties itself onto his lap, but some of the wine drips down his chin, ruining his vest.

Thank goodness he isn’t drinking red wine. Every adult in Mondstadt knows red wine stains are notoriously difficult to clean. Still, what a waste of a perfectly good sip.

“Oh, for Barbatos’s sake.” That’s all the warning he gets before his drink is rudely snatched from his hand. He protests but can only watch helplessly as you bring it to your lips.

Then you proceed to down it.

His brows raise higher and higher the longer your throat bobs. He's never seen you drink with such gusto before. Shouldn’t you be gasping for breath by now? But no, you empty the tankard in a single go, then slam it on the counter (Charles makes a face, but wisely says nothing) and meet his gaze without flinching.

Wow, is all that his intoxicated mind can conjure up at the feat.

“There, all done. Now let’s go. I am walking you back.” Your voice is firm, brooking no argument. How captain-like of you. “Wouldn’t want Mondstadt’s illustrious Cavalry Captain to be found passed out in an alleyway tomorrow.”

On any other day, he’d be mildly irked by your stubbornness. But he did just spill his drink down his front like a newborn babe. No wonder you brought up his rank. In your eyes, his conduct must not befit that of a high-ranking knight. He doesn’t care what assumptions people form about him, never has, but tonight has been a bust anyway. Maybe it's best to call it quits.

Sighing theatrically, he rises to his feet. “All right, I know when I have been beaten. But don’t change your plans on my account. I can head to the barracks by myself just fine.”

“I’m sure you can,” you say, “but letting you walk alone this late in your state would grate at my conscience. So would you stop talking for once, and let me take you home?”

You get what you want. Your words render him silent.

Home, you called the barracks. He supposes you consider that place your home. But is it his, truly?

He thinks of Khaenri’ah, nothing but a distant, bloody memory. He thinks of his father, and how in their final moments together, the man had stared through him like he wasn’t there. He thinks of the Dawn Winery, where he had spent several years causing mayhem. He thinks of Master Crepus, never dad, and a brother who doesn’t exist anymore.

No, the barracks aren’t his home. Maybe he’s never had one to begin with.

When he comes to, Kaeya registers you leading him in the direction of the tavern door, your hand on his shoulder blade. This quickly catches the attention of the patrons. They call out their goodbyes, some raising their tankards and others chuckling good-naturedly.

“Look at that! Our Cavalry Cap’n had too much to drink, eh?”

“What, are you tapping out already, Captain Kaeya?”

“Has to be escorted out by a fellow knight, no less!”

You wave over your shoulder. “Just doing my patriotic duty, that's all.”

Kaeya gives his audience an exaggerated wink (as well as he can with his one uncovered eye) followed by a lazy hand salute. His grin remains fixed in place until the door swings shut. The wooden barrier barely muffles the sounds of conversation and merriment coming from within.

Had it been that loud while he was inside? He hadn’t noticed.

He isn’t able to dwell on it for long, because you nudge him in the direction of headquarters. “Come on. We have a bit of a walk ahead of us. Let’s get to it.”

“Oh, very well. But only because you asked so nicely.”

“I wasn’t asking.”

“I know. I was being sarcastic.”

You nudge him harder, and he snickers under his breath as he walks.

This time of night, the cobblestone streets seem devoid of life. With the exception of Patton, who’s practically asleep standing up, the two of you don’t run into anyone. It's a stark change from how the city usually is, bright and bustling with crowds.

It suits him just fine, though. The crisp night air is sobering him up somewhat, the fog that had settled over his mind thinning. All too soon, he recalls everything he was trying to suppress.

Master Crepus. Diluc. His callousness and cruelty in forgetting them both.

In hindsight, he should have taken his mug back from you instead of just gaping like a fool. Sobriety is such a drag.

“You’re quiet,” you comment. You’re staring at him intently, your expression eerily similar to Timaeus’s when he is observing an alchemical reaction. It’s as if he is a specimen that you are keen on studying under a microscope.

He wants to scowl, to snap at you. “My apologies,” he says instead, as innocent as can be. “Were you waiting for me to strike up a conversation? Hold on a moment, let me think of a good topic...”

“That is not what I meant and you know it. It’s just, usually it’s impossible to get you to stop talking. The times I have seen you...indisposed”—buzzed as a bee, you undoubtedly mean—“that doesn’t change. You talk more, if anything.”

Curiously, your voice softens, an odd cadence colouring it. One he has not heard from you before, not directed at him at least. “I guess I’m just wondering if something is weighing on your mind. Is that what prompted you to drink so much tonight?”

By now, the two of you have walked down the stairway to the Knights of Favonius’s bulletin board. Of course, Hertha isn’t there this late to assign requests and bounties. The pieces of parchment pinned to the board flutter in the breeze. He stares at the sketch of a Ruin Guard, willing his sluggish mind to craft a suitable answer.

After a beat, his eye slides over to you. An impish grin curls at the corners of his mouth. “My, I had no idea that you watched my every move so closely. I’m flattered by the attention.”

Predictably, you sputter. “What even—that is not—you know what, if you want to dodge the question so badly, fine. We can just walk the rest of the way in silence.”

“As you wish, Captain.”

Although his words were said to fluster you into changing the subject, as you had correctly deduced, Kaeya means them. You have noticed him far more than he realized. As Captain of the Intelligence Team, it’s your job to be observant and keep tabs on others. He knows that. Still, it’s disconcerting to learn that you’ve had a close eye on him in particular.

He operates from the shadows for a reason; he can’t have you jeopardizing that by shining a light on him. Five months into your new position, and already you have proven yourself to be dangerous.

As you wished for, silence reigns as the two of you turn into an alley and approach two flights of stairs, leading to the center of the city. Kaeya resists pressing a hand against the nearest wall for balance. He had walked down a stairway unaided just moments ago, despite how unsteady he felt. Surely ascending some steps would prove to be easier.

Rather than focus on his feet, he looks up ahead. From his position, he can just barely glimpse the blades of a windmill, ever-turning against the dark backdrop of the night sky. He keeps his gaze there as he climbs, his boots scraping against stone.

He clears the first flight of stairs with little issue. See? Nothing to it.

Halfway up the second, Kaeya stumbles.

His surroundings tilt, blurring as he fumbles for balance. It’s a futile effort. Thanks to how inebriated he is, his limbs are too heavy and uncoordinated. The stone below rushes up to meet him.

Before his face can greet it, however, you catch him.

Your side moulds against his, a hand clasping his hip while the other carefully grasps at his spiked pauldron. His gloved hand covers yours reflexively as his racing heartbeat settles. He feels you stiffen at the touch, but you don't pull away. Neither does he.

For a moment, not a word is spoken between you both. The alley is filled only with the soft sound of breathing.

Then you click your tongue. “So much for heading back by yourself. You can barely keep your feet under you.” Your voice lilts with humour.

He knows this song and dance. It has been ingrained in him after all these months. You snark at him, he snarks back. Rinse and repeat. Although this is the first time he has heard levity in your tone; the first time it has been aimed at him, that is. He almost hadn’t thought you capable of it.

He straightens with a chuckle. “First at the tavern, and now in an alley. I just keep falling for you tonight, don’t I?”

You blink owlishly. It takes a moment for the words to sink in. Then a flustered expression crosses your features, before you compose yourself. “You are unbelievable.”

He grins. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

You roll your eyes, even as the corners of your lips twitch. “You would.”

Kaeya expects you to move away, so the two of you can resume walking, but you don’t. “Not that I mind having your hands on me, but...will you be letting go any time soon?”

“That depends.” A challenging glint appears in your eye. “Can you handle walking on your own? Or do you need me to cradle you the rest of the way to headquarters, like some damsel?”

He guffaws, taken off-guard by the retort. A reply escapes his loosened tongue before he can think better of it, “Archons, that sounded just like him.”

“Like who?”

“My brother.”

In the past, despite being underage, he was sometimes able to charm bartenders at Angel’s Share—new hires unaware of how to deal with him as of yet—into serving him drinks. Diluc would find him eventually, a disapproving twist to his mouth, and put a stop to it.

Back then, Kaeya was a lightweight and had to be supported back to headquarters. Diluc would scowl and roll his eyes the entire way, but there was still a softness in his gaze. His hands were strong, but careful; Kaeya knew that his brother would not let him fall. He could even be persuaded to join in when Kaeya began to sing, their off-key voices disturbing the silence of the night.

Come morning, while Kaeya nursed the inevitable headache and Jean nagged him about violating the Knights of Favonius Handbook, Diluc would snort. “Serves you right,” he’d say, then hand him a draught for curing hangovers.

Now Kaeya must weather the pain alone.

You tilt your head to the side, your gaze fixed on his. “I had no idea that you have a brother,” you say softly.

Had, he nearly corrects. But he has told you too much already.

This is why he is so careful when drinking in the company of others. Alcohol is a double-edged sword; as delectable as it is, it also loosens inhibitions. It’s what he relies on when charming information out of allies and adversaries alike, none of them the wiser of what they have given up.

How the tables have turned.

“Well, now you do.” A trace of bitterness enters his tone.

You eye him, quiet, before pulling back. You motion forward with your chin. “Let’s keep moving. We’ll never make it to headquarters at this pace.”

Relieved by the subject change, he listens. He makes a conscious effort to place one foot in front of the other, gaze trained on the remaining steps below. You stay at his side, closer than you were before. He can feel your hand hovering at the small of his back, ready to catch him should he trip once more, but he ignores it.

It won’t happen again. He’ll make sure of it.

The alley opens up to a view of the market district. Unfortunately, he doesn’t have long to enjoy the reprieve. The two of you turn right, away from the railing overlooking the main square, to climb two more flights of stairs. A left, and more stairways await.

By the time the Knights of Favonius Headquarters looms above you, Kaeya’s legs ache from the walk. He is very much looking forward to retiring to his quarters.

The knights stationed outside stiffen at the sight of you and Kaeya, standing at attention. They perform a salute in perfect unison. Do they rehearse that before every shift? Surely they must.

The guard on the left, with the glasses and unfortunate haircut, chirps, “Good evening, Captains! I hope you are doing well.” He appears wide awake despite the late hour.

At least the one on the right looks appropriately haggard. “Welcome back,” he grunts.

While Kaeya brushes past them with a nod of acknowledgement, eager to head inside, you stop. “Good evening, Athos, Porthos. Your shift ends soon, I hope? It can’t be terribly interesting, standing watch outside headquarters so late.”

“It’s no trouble at all, Captain!” Athos, as you had referred to him, says. “Guard duty may not be glamorous, but it is still important.”

“Much as I agree with the lad, I can’t bring myself to be so damn cheerful about it,” Porthos sighs, his words tinged with self-deprecation. “Must be ‘cause of these old bones.”

“That’s not true, Sir Porthos. Your bones aren’t that old!” the younger knight argues, prompting the older to shake his head with a chuckle.

“Athos isn’t wrong,” you add. “You are far more sprightly than most knights I know.”

“If that’s true, then Mondstadt is in trouble.”

Smiling and shaking your head, you finally pass by them, climbing the short steps to return to Kaeya's side. He lifts a brow as he pulls on one of the large oak doors, holding it open for you.

It’s almost comical how quickly your smile disappears. Your eyes narrow as you enter inside. “What’s that look for?”

“Nothing,” he says breezily, following after you. The door falls closed behind you both with a loud, echoing thud. “Just that I didn’t know you were so chummy with the guards.”

It is blindingly bright inside the Knights of Favonius Headquarters, as if it isn’t nearing midnight. The sconces on the walls are lit up, as is the chandelier hanging in the center of the main hall. The two of you make your way towards the—joy of all joys—staircase. The barracks for knights are located on the second floor, and on the floor above that, separate quarters for the captains.

“I am off-duty right now. It’s not unprofessional for me to speak informally with them.”

His eye widens. “Why, I never said it was unprofessional, Captain.”

You grind your teeth so hard he can practically hear the enamel wearing away. “You implied it.” No, he didn’t. Your distaste for him has you imagining mockery where there is none. As if Kaeya has any room to judge someone for acting unprofessional.

“I did? That’s news to me.” Privately, he marvels at how easily he can agitate you. Him, no one else—he has observed you long enough to know your prickliness is reserved for him alone. Maybe that’s why he annoys you further instead of clearing up the many miscommunications that tend to occur. Not that you’ll believe him, even if he’s being completely honest.

You huff. “How the Dandelion Knight manages to put up with you, I’ll never know,” you mutter.

“How rude, Captain! Jean doesn’t put up with me, she considers me indispensable.”

You cut a look at him. “Yes, I’m sure she thought the same when you failed to show up to today’s meeting.”

“Must you bring that up again? I shudder just thinking of the lecture she’ll have ready for me in the morning. Perhaps my mysterious ailment should plague me for a little while longer...”

“Prolonging the inevitable will do you no favours.” You pause briefly, then add, “Ah, I almost forgot to mention. After the meeting, I ran into Inspector Eroch. He was waiting outside and asked after you. He seemed irked when I informed him that you were absent today.”

If Kaeya was not so skilled at masking his reactions, he would’ve perked up at that. He might have even stopped in his tracks or whipped his head around to look at you. But he knows better than to give himself away so obviously. He leisurely climbs the steps, his features revealing only vague interest. “Oh? Somehow I doubt he was upset out of concern for my wellbeing.”

You glance over. “I wouldn’t know. He did not say anything when I asked why he wanted to see you, or if I could pass on a message. He just brushed me off and left.”

“Don’t be hurt by his shameful conduct, Captain. I for one enjoy your company immensely.”

You ignore his thoughtful statement. “I thought that he might have had a prior engagement with you, which you missed due to being terribly ill.”

He shrugs. “If we did, I don’t recall it.”

That earns him another look, longer than the one before. He doesn’t flinch away from it, his expression remaining serene. Privately, he wonders what you know. Are you merely intrigued by what Inspector Eroch might want with him? Or are you more aware than you’re letting on?

After all, Eroch is the one Kaeya has been secretly investigating for the past year.

Looks like the inspector has caught on. About time. No doubt he wants to figure out just how much Kaeya knows—which is not much, unfortunately. He knows that Eroch has more than just Mondstadt’s best interests in mind; a Fatui spy like him would have just the opposite. But he is unsure what the man is up to, or who he even is.

He does, however, have an inkling. Several, even.

Inspector Eroch had been insistent on covering up the details of Master Crepus’s death. For the good of Mondstadt, he claimed, not wanting the citizenry to lose faith in the Knights of Favonius. Grand Master Varka had ultimately sided with him. It resulted in Diluc resigning his position and leaving the city a year ago.

Kaeya had kept an eye on the inspector after that. He knew there was more to the situation than just preserving Mondstadt’s trust in the Knights, and it had everything to do with the dangerous and evil power Master Crepus had harnessed. It was only a matter of figuring out what. And once he has all of the information...

Well, he knows what Diluc would do, once upon a time. Blazing with righteous fury, he’d take his findings to Grand Master Varka, insisting on Eroch’s arrest and expulsion from the Knights of Favonius. He would see it as retribution for how poorly his father’s death had been handled.

But Kaeya suffers from no delusions. Maybe he looked into Eroch because of Master Crepus. Maybe he wanted some kind of revenge for what happened. Maybe he yearned to atone for his past inaction. None of that means he has any heroic intentions.

If it serves his interests better, he won’t expose the inspector immediately. He will hoard his knowledge instead, keeping his cards close to his chest until it’s the right time to play them.

That is how he has always operated. Master Crepus's death and Diluc's departure have not changed that. For a brief, nonsensical moment, he wishes they had. Then common sense returns to him. A foolhardy sense of justice is of no use to him. He’ll leave that to Diluc.

While he extricates himself from his wayward thoughts, you turn away to clear the last few steps. “If it is important, surely he will try to approach you again,” you say.

“I look forward to it with bated breath.”

You scoff, rightfully skeptical, but don’t respond. Clearly, you are content to leave it at that.

He wonders at how easily you let the subject drop. Had you suspected something, you would have pushed to learn more, wouldn’t you? Now is as opportune a time as any; it’s late, he’s tired and drunk, and the both of you are alone. Does that make you oblivious, or an idiot, or crafty?

Having made it to the third floor, the two of you make your way down the hallway. His quarters are before your own, three doors on the left. He stops in front of his door, reaching into one of many hidden coat pockets to produce his key.

He glances at you. You have yet to leave for own your room. “You don’t have to hover at my side, you know,” he says with a touch of amusement. “I may be tipsy, but I am no longer in any danger of being harassed by ruffians or passing out in the streets. Unless you're secretly harbouring nefarious intentions towards me, Captain.”

“You’ll just have to wait and find out,” is your unruffled response.

Chuckling under his breath, he unlocks his door and lets it swing open wide. It’s dark inside, faint moonlight shining through the small window above his desk. Coupled with the sconces out in the hallway, however, there is enough light for him to stumble to his bedside without stubbing a single toe. He doesn’t bother to close the door on you; he has nothing to hide.

Kaeya knows what his quarters must look like to a stranger. They’re a mess, as if someone had searched them in a haste and not bothered to clean up afterward. The walls are bare, save for a map of Mondstadt that he’d hung up ages ago. Tomes of all sizes and loose leaves of parchment litter his oak desk, pushed up against a wall. A quill lies abandoned atop a half-finished note with ink drying on its nib. His closet door is cracked open, a discarded boot dissuading anyone from forcing it shut.

Yes, his quarters are a mess. But he knows exactly where everything is. Should someone actually attempt to search his things, he would know immediately. Not that they would find anything particularly damning. He isn’t foolish enough to leave important documents or sensitive information lying about—nothing he is unwilling to part with, anyway.

“Horrifying, but unsurprising,” he hears you mutter to yourself.

Kaeya doesn’t even consider slipping out of his ruined clothes or engaging you in further conversation. Now that he has made it back to his quarters, all he can think about is the sweet embrace of sleep. He sinks into his unmade bed, draping an arm over his face.

You continue to linger in the doorway. “You should change before you fall asleep.”

“Mhm.”

“You'll regret not doing so in the morning.”

“Uh-huh.” He still doesn’t move.

“Alberich. You stink of booze.”

“You sure know how to compliment a guy, Captain. I’m impressed.”

You sigh, long and loud. He waits to hear the door close behind you, only for you to walk up to his bedside. Your steps are slow, hesitant yet purposeful. He stiffens, immediately on-guard, but fights his instincts in order to remain still. What are you planning?

He feels you grip his boot. Metal jingles as you undo the buckle. Then you pry it off.

He lifts his arm to peer up at you. “What are you doing?”

“What does it look like?” You set his boot on the ground, then move on to the other one. “If you won’t change, you should at least take off your shoes. You’ll dirty your sheets otherwise.”

Oh, you make it so easy for him to twist everything you say into an innuendo. For once he resists the urge. “You forgot something,” he says instead. He wiggles his sock-clad foot at you. Just to see if you will do it.

You grimace, swatting his leg away. “Absolutely not. I don’t want to be anywhere near those.”

So you say. But you’re taking his boots off for him out of your own volition. There is no need for you to do any of this. It’s not your duty to stop him from drinking himself into a stupor, or walk him back to headquarters unharmed, or all but tuck him into bed. Yet here you are.

What is it that you want? There have been plenty of opportunities for you to try and take advantage of his drunken state, but you have sidestepped every one. Frustration brews in his sternum.

“Do you do this for everyone who you hate?” he finds himself asking, tone purposely lighthearted.

You pause in your ministrations to stare at him. “What? I don't hate you.” At his disbelieving look, you insist, “I don’t. You have always been a pain to deal with, sure, but I never once felt that way.”

He smiles, unconvinced. “Not even when I insulted your dear old captain?”

“Insulted my... That was months ago, when we first met.” Despite your bewilderment, you take a moment to contemplate his question. “I was upset with you, yes. But now that I’ve had this position for some time...maybe your assessment wasn’t off. When I was lieutenant, I didn’t always see eye-to-eye with my captain. They were too set in their ways and scorned most criticism. I respected them, and still do, but I shouldn’t be ignorant of their faults.”

Your gaze meets his once more. “In a way, what you said that day led me to realize that. You weren’t badmouthing my captain; you didn’t have a vendetta or want to get a rise out of me. At least, I don’t think you did. You must have legitimate issues with their leadership, as a captain yourself.”

He watches you shrewdly. Your tone was even, your expression clear. He cannot detect any deception from you. Of course, that means little. Still, perhaps you’re telling the truth. Perhaps you don’t hate him after all.

A headache, newly formed, pounds at his temple. If he were more sober, he would be better equipped to handle such a revelation. He’ll have to come to a proper conclusion later.

You fiddle with the buckle on his remaining boot. “And what about you?”

“Hmm? What about me?”

“You have ample reason to look down on me. Most of the knights know that you aren’t just Cavalry Captain and Quartermaster. Your role is more important than that. Surely you would make a better...” you trail off, your jaw working silently.

Kaeya knows how that sentence ends. Surely you would make a better Captain of the Intelligence Team than me. It doesn’t come as a surprise.

Up until now, he thought he knew you well. You made it no secret you loathed him. You have never said so explicitly, but he has a talent for reading people. It’s a classic case of envy. He has seen it many times before. You compare yourself to him and find yourself wanting. It colours the way you interact with him; your words brusque, your gaze narrowed.

Not only did he insult your captain, but you consider him more capable than you. Your hatred makes sense. It’s predictable.

Or so he believed, until tonight.

“You know what, never mind. Forget I asked.” Uh-oh. Seems he took too long to respond. You busy yourself with unbuckling his boot, avoiding his eye.

If he were to be honest, there are many ways he could answer you. He thinks you are a better captain than your superior could ever hope to have been. He thinks you are a leader capable of inspiring undying loyalty in your officers. He thinks you have a deep, unflinching love for Mondstadt and its people. He thinks you constantly push yourself to greater heights, to the point it lights a fire in him as well.

He admits to none of those things, in the end.

“Give yourself some credit, Captain,” he murmurs. You glance over in surprise. He meets your gaze. For perhaps the first time in a while, he hopes his words sound sincere—not because he doesn’t mean them, but because he does. “I know the officers under your supervision think you’re a good leader. They wouldn’t want anyone else to take your place.” Certainly not someone like me.

Instead of reassuring you, however, his answer seems to do the opposite. You look frustrated. “That isn’t what I...” you trail off. You search his features, silent, before your brow furrows. “I can’t tell if you mean what you just said. Sometimes I’m not sure I ever can.”

He takes care not to allow his features to visibly harden. Of course you would doubt him, the one time he tries to be honest with you. What else did he expect? Maybe you don't hate him, maybe you never have, but that means little. You won’t ever fully trust him. To be fair, the feeling is mutual.

His mouth tastes unbearably bitter. It must be the wine.

“At this point, I’m willing to say just about anything if it’ll mean I can get some shut-eye.” He feels no satisfaction upon seeing your shoulders stiffen. He still manages to grin. “Well, Captain? Any other requests?”

“No,” you say. Then you tug off his boot with a brisk motion.

He stifles a yelp. “Hey, now! No need to be so rough.”

“My sincere apologies.” You set the boot down next to his other one, your lips thinned. “I should go. Wouldn’t want you to lose more sleep than you already have. You have a long day ahead of you tomorrow, after all.”

Talk about vindictive. Despite his irritation, he has to fight a smile. Knowing you, you’ll see it and take it the wrong way, as you usually do.

Having finished removing his boots, you turn and walk for the door without another word.

He’s struck with the odd urge to stop you. To reach out, take your hand in his, and tug you back. Not because he wants something from you, or needs to tell you something. He wishes you would stay a little longer, that’s all. Wants the silence to be filled by your voice instead of his thoughts.

Now he knows he’s had too much to drink. He’s contemplating such ridiculous things.

Before his addled mind can catch up and he can say something, apologize perhaps, you shut the door behind you. Your footsteps travel down the hallway, slightly hurried. The door to your quarters creaks open then closed.

He’s too late. It’s for the best.

Kaeya lies back and stares up at the ceiling. His vision swims, as if he’s adrift at sea. Closing his eye only makes it worse.

His mind pores over the events of the day. Investigating Eroch, remembering Master Crepus and Diluc, visiting the tavern, running into you. He feels restless, pulled in several directions at once.

With a harsh exhale, he rises to his feet and locks his door. Then he begins his nightly ritual.

His pauldron is first to go. It hits the floor with a dull noise. Then he peels off his gloves and tosses them on the desk. The burns on his hands have long since healed, but he still deals with numbness now and then. Not many know they even exist; he doesn’t want anyone taking advantage of a potential weakness. His eyepatch follows closely after.

He removes the Cryo Vision from his belt last. He stares at it, its blue glow washing over his scarred palm and turning his skin a sickly brown hue. If it’s been a year since Master Crepus’s death, it has been about a year since he was gifted a Vision as well. The sight of it has been a hard reminder ever since. Of how he’d won a difficult battle. Of how he’d finally revealed the truth. Of how he can never speak it again.

He tucks the Vision under his pillow, then collapses back into bed. An odd sensation fills him, as it does every time he completes this ritual. It’s like he has taken off every scrap of armour he has and foolishly exposed himself to danger, despite being alone in the stillness of his quarters.

Ignoring the uncomfortable feeling, he closes his eyes and waits for sleep to take him under.

It never does.

[aminiatureworld]

Stranger

Characters: Kaeya, gn!reader

Word Count: 2,398

Warnings: Angst (happy ending)

Premise: What do you do when the one you love turns into a stranger? Do you go chasing after them? Or do you let despair envelop you? What about when you can no longer trust them, or when they can no longer trust you.

In which Kaeya begins to act distant and strange.

Author’s Note: A little more dialogue heavy than usual for me, but considering I usually write like five lines of dialogue maybe it’s not that much. Still, I like how this one came out! I actually think I managed to make it pretty emotional (though it’s alright at the end I promise). Enjoy!

Kaeya

You weren’t sure when it started. It was so gradual at first, the withdrawing, the loss of trust. So gradual that you weren’t really aware you had lost Kaeya until he was already gone.

The first night that you finally started to become aware of the problem was the night that Kaeya came home, home late and dead drunk. Though you knew that he probably going to be working late, he had told you as much, you certainly had not expected him to come home in this state.

“My love? Oh, let me help you inside,” you exclaimed, slinging an arm over your shoulder.

“I, I can do this myself,” Kaeya’s voice was gruff, cold, unlike the sweet, warm-talking man you’d fallen in love with.

“Please, you’re drunk. Let me get you something.”

“I don’t need you to.”

He’d flung you off somehow, though not without running into a wall. You probably should have helped him after that, insisted that he needed someone to sober him up; but all you could do was just stand there. Kaeya had never been like this before, not even on the rare occasions he managed to make himself drunk. He was emotional, yes, but usually that resulted in sweet, if slightly slurred words, and the inexplicable need to pull you onto his lap, no matter what you were doing at the time. This drunken Kaeya was a stranger to you. You didn’t know what to do.

A part of you hoped that it was a fluke, that he would wake up tomorrow smiling and apologetic and just as before. Yet he was gone before the sun was up, with no word on when he might be coming back. You had stared at his empty spot on the bed for a long time, trying to convince yourself that this was just a dream. You would wake up soon enough, nestled into his embrace, his breath soft and comforting in your ear. This was just a dream, it wouldn’t last.

No matter how much you tried to convince yourself of that though, Kaeya refused to cooperate. He continued to get up early, to come in late. You two almost never worked together, but even when you used the excuse of getting a book out of a library there was no Kaeya in sight. His office was closed, and when you tried the handle you realized it was locked. You knew that could just mean that he was out doing some sort of thing, but still it hurt. Even if you couldn’t truly explain why; it was the small things.

Then it wasn’t the small things anymore, for indeed nothing could be small about the way Kaeya was acting now. If the waking up late and getting up early had torn at you, this was the final straw.

He hadn’t come home, he hadn’t come home, he hadn’t come home. You sat in the living room of your apartment, hands curled around a long cold cup of tea. You didn’t know what to do, what you wanted to do. You wanted to run out into the night, screaming his name; you wanted to leave this apartment, a note on the counter explaining this was too much; you wanted to do so much, but instead you simply sat there, drowning in thoughts. Was he sick of you? Did he hate you? No, surely Kaeya would never do something so stupid if he’d fallen out of love with you. He would tell you, straightforward and gentlemanly. Wouldn’t he? You couldn’t answer that question anymore, the Kaeya you knew and the Kaeya you’d been dealing with for the past week were complete strangers.

You must’ve fallen asleep, for there was sun in your eyes when you opened them, your memory muddled with the odd fragments and colors of unsettled dreams. Looking around your heart sank at the emptiness, the lack of shoes at the doorway, the cloak still missing from the hook in the wall. He was gone. He was gone, and with him went the last hope that there might still be a normal explanation for everything. There surely couldn’t be now.

There would be time to explain your absence at work later. For now you got up, slinging your cloak over your shoulders, for the memory of winter still clung to the new spring air, and your ears still felt a little frosty. Now you barely felt the world around you, as you ran out of the gates of Mondstadt, trying desperately to think of where Kaeya might go.

Luckily for you the Cavalry Captain had a distinct elemental footprint, and whatever the time Kaeya had left to set out on his own it wasn’t too late for you to find him. You didn’t think about what would happen when you finally caught up with him. You didn’t want to. For now all you wanted to know was whether or not he was alright. The fact that he could take care of himself didn’t convince you. Kaeya wasn’t acting normally.

You finally caught up to him in the Whispering Woods, only a little ways away from the ruined temple. Your first thought was that he looked terrible. Your second thought was that he had truly been out last night. Your third thought was that you didn’t want to be here.

“What are you doing?” Kaeya’s voice was gruff, tired.

“What am I doing here? What am I doing here? What are you doing here Kaeya? Why are you out here, roaming around like a madman, while I wait for you all night. All night! Don’t you know how worried I was? How, how upset! And now you act like, what? Like I’m some, unwelcome guest, some nuisance? I can’t stand it, I really truly can’t stand it! If you don’t want to be with me anymore then just tell me. Don’t avoid me, insult me, push me away. I can’t stand it Kaeya, I really… really…”

You were crying now, you couldn’t help yourself. You didn’t want to, it felt humiliating somehow. It wasn’t worth it to cry at this point, not now, not in front of him. But you couldn’t help it, it hurt, it really hurt.

“I, my darling, I’m sorry.”

“What do you mean you’re sorry? You don’t seem sorry.”

“I’m just tired. It’s been a long night. Please, I’m sorry.”

“I…” you weren’t sure what to say. You really weren’t sure what to say.

“I know you’re really upset with me, I understand, I’ve been treating you badly recently. But please, let me explain myself.”

You said nothing, unsure still what to say. Your gaze had long since migrated to the ground. You wanted to know, wanted to hear his explanation. You were angry, yes, you were oh so angry. But more than anything, you just wanted things to go back to normal. You wanted these days to disappear, so you might go back into the sun. But it still hurt, and you weren’t sure if you wanted to hear, wanted to forgive. If only you could turn back time, if only this had never happened.

“Would you like to hear?” Kaeya pressed. You’d have to reply eventually.

“Yes,” you whispered.

“Very well. Would you like to go home first?”

You nodded. Maybe by the time you got back to the city you’d be able to figure out whether you wanted to forgive or not.

You two walked home in silence. You still couldn’t look him in the face, couldn’t bring yourself to gaze at the man you still loved so deeply. The atmosphere in the apartment was equally strained, and as you sat down on the couch you pulled a blanket up to your neck. At least if things got too difficult you could bury your face in that.

“Ready?” Kaeya’s voice was gentle, the Kaeya that you knew from before. You didn’t know what to make of it.

“Yes,” you mumbled, not trusting yourself to say anymore.

“You know how I told you I was adopted by Diluc’s father, that I couldn’t remember where I came from? Well, that’s not true. The truth is I was fleeing, a refugee, my father and I. We were fleeing from Khaenri’ah, the city that rose too high and was thus destroyed by the gods.”

There was bitterness in Kaeya’s voice, you could hear it, even if you weren’t looking at him.

“So my father left me here, all the hopes and ambitions of a fallen people on my shoulder. Master Crepus took me in, treating me as more of a son than I deserved. My dear brother even liked me, in the beginning. Of course then my father, my new father, died. Perhaps he was cursed by the gods, taking in a traitor like myself. Perhaps it was simply bad luck. I’ll never know.

“I didn’t think it would matter at first, where I was from. I thought, as long as I don’t tell anyone all will be well. I can’t be punished for the crime of my birth if they didn’t know I committed it in the first place after all. But I was wrong, I was so wrong,” he barked out a shard of bitter laughter.

“The Abyss is coming back, the mages, the heralds, they’re all planning something. More than that, they’re doing it in the name of my home, my land. They’re carrying on the name of Khaenr’iah by committing every crime possible. At first I thought I had nothing to do with it, but I do. This is my curse, somehow or other it’ll always come back to me. And, being the gallant knight I am, or something like that, I decided it was my job to deal with it.

“I know I probably should’ve told you the reason for my sudden late nights, but I felt like, well, I’d gone too far by now. No one else knows my origin story, not the Acting Grand Master, not the Grand Master. Not Diluc, not my late adopted father. I felt like telling them all would be wrong, like telling you would be wrong. I love you so much. I don’t know if you believe it, but I really do. And I thought, well, I couldn’t do this to you.”

“So instead you hurt me in another way?” You couldn’t help the bitterness in your voice.

“I’m sorry,” Kaeya sighed, voice slightly desperate. “I really am. I can’t blame you if you don’t believe me of course, but it’s the truth. I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I didn’t want to see the pity in your eyes, I didn’t want to change to you. I thought, if I told you I would always be the pitiful man, your sad, tragic lover. I thought, I thought you’d never see me the same way again. Or maybe you wouldn’t even see me as that. Maybe you’d see me as a fugitive, a sinner, someone from a place destroyed by the divine. Maybe you’d be disgusted by me.”

“You trust me as little as that?” You finally lifted your eyes up from the blanket around you to look at Kaeya. His eye was glistening wetly, his cheeks slightly flushed, his mouth twisted into a sad sort of smile. “You trusted me so little as that Kaeya? Your lover? You can’t truly believe that I would act that way, could you?”

“No! Yes? I don’t know. I just, I kept thinking, maybe, maybe you’d see me for the worthless wretch I am. Or even worse, maybe you’d get involved. Maybe the gods would see fit to punish you, or something. Maybe something would happen to you and it’d be all my fault.”

“That’s pretty superstitious coming from the least pious man I know,” you pointed out. “Kaeya, I don’t know why you’ve been telling yourself all these things, but I promise they’re all lies. Whatever that dark part of your brain has been saying, it’s wrong. I’m not going to treat you differently, I’m not going to hate or pity you, and I’m not going to die. But you know what hurts? Not being trusted. That really, really hurts.”

“I’m sorry,” Kaeya whispered.

You let words fall to the wayside for a moment. For now you wanted to do one thing. Letting the blanket fall onto the couch you crawled over to Kaeya. Wrapping your arms around his neck you leaned in to give him a kiss on the forehead. Tucking his bangs away from his face you gazed into his eye.

“I love you so much Kaeya, really. All of this wouldn’t hurt if I didn’t. I want to forgive you, maybe I already have. I can’t stay mad at you, it hurts too much. But I’ll forgive you on one condition, alright? That you trust in me from now on. That you don’t hurt me out of some sense of distrust. If you want to keep things private, I understand. I just don’t want those things to cause, cause what happened this last week. Alright?”

“Of course.” Kaeya’s answer was immediate.

“Then I forgive you.”

“Really? After I hurt you so badly?”

“It still hurts, you’re right. But I forgive you still.”

Kaeya let out something between a sigh and a laugh. Pulling you fully into his lap he covered your face with soft, fleeting kisses. You let him, relishing the contact, the reconnection of something you’d feared you’d lost forever.

“I’ll always love you. You’re the most beautiful, most precious thing in the world to me,” Kaeya murmured against your skin.

“You are to me too. I love you so much Kaeya, I always will.”

“How about we put all these words to practical use?”

You laughed at the mischievous tone in your lover’s voice, glad to hear the real Kaeya once more. For this was the real Kaeya, you were sure of it. Regardless of what he told himself, regardless of what the world or the gods or whomever thought. This was Kaeya, this was the real Kaeya. And you loved him so very much.

For the first time in days the cloud that had floated above your heart evaporated. And the next day, when you woke up once more enveloped in Kaeya’s warm embrace, you were sure it wouldn’t be returning for a long time.

[shivada-jade]

codename: vind

older sibling!reader

characters: diluc, kaeya ➡ mentions: adelinde, crepus, la signora warning(s): alcohol consumption, swearing, and because for some reason, older siblings tend to be shorter than younger siblings. iDK WHY but ugh, yeah you're shorter than diluc and kaeya bc you're the older sibling. ik, i hate it too

like, i wanna be a tall 6'2 woman

diluc's 5'10 so u can still be tall in the story.. just not 5'11 😢 sorry over 5'10 folks

➡ WRITTEN BEFORE 2.1 so uhh :D

notes: platonic w diluc and kaeya, duh bc ur the older sibling. sibling love!!! sibling love !! woop woop !

"Dad, I'm home!" You bellow out to the house, waving a polite hello to Adelinde who looked shocked to see you. You kick off your shoes and slide your way to the long table in the living room, swiftly grabbing an apple before heading upstairs.

Your hands graze the railings and make your way up to find your dad. Upon reaching the last flight of steps, you were suspicious with how the place was very quiet. Granted, your younger brothers are now adults, but it still felt too quiet. Maybe you expected to see your brothers playing a game of chess, maybe bickering and fencing. You were hoping to see your family after being away.

You were a part of the Fatui under the Mondstadt branch. It was and at the same time wasn't a choice to be roped into the Fatui. You got roped into the wrong group of friends and found yourself blackmailed by the infamous group.

You didn't want to join. You didn't want any of it. You've been disconnected from the world. Wiped out from the face of Earth. No one gave information to you, you couldn't learn anything about what's happening currently. The most you could do was send letters, but even those were difficult to send out. You had to do it in secrecy or you'd be in trouble.

Love, the better sibling,

[Y/N]

Or another common send off is:

Please write back soon,

[Y/N]

And your family never failed to send back letters. They asked what you're doing, where you are and how are you, still you never told them your occupation, fearful of what they would think and where your loyalties lie, so you told them you were working under an adventurer.

It's for the greater good. You remember trying to convince yourself.

You're a horrible person.

You were sixteen then. Your younger brothers were twelve. It's been 10 long years since you last saw them, and 6 years since you last received a letter back. You miss them dearly. You often wondered what sorts of adventures they did without you.

But why are you wondering about this? You knew what they did: you knew everything that happened.

You're living under a heavy burden.

"Dad?" You call out again. Maids and wine makers look aghast when they see you, and they're on the verge of fainting when you call out to your father.

Stop the act.

It's strange how the letters were suddenly cut off. The last letter you received was from Kaeya, telling you how you needed to come home straight away. You tried to, but the Fatui prevented you from doing so. A lady called La Signora supervised you directly to make sure you didn't leave.

You know...

Adelinde brushes the dust off her uniform and hurries up the stairs to catch up to you, "Dear, is that you [Y/N?]"

"Did you forget me that easily? I'm offended Miss Adelinde," you chided, but the teasing look in your eyes give Adelinde relief to know you aren't actually offended. "Miss, where's dad?"

You're sickening.

Adelinde takes one look at you and squeezes your shoulders with a smile, "I'm afraid that's not for me to say. Master Diluc should be able to-"

"Oh, where's Diluc and Kaeya?" You ponder, and the corners of your lips curl upwards. "Those two were always attached to the hip. Where are they now? Horseback riding at the vineyard? Ha! I-"

You glance at Adelinde's watery eyes and stop your babbling. "What's wrong Miss Adelinde?" You reach for her hands on your shoulders and hold them. "Ah, has father been making you work too hard? I can request him to lessen your load."

Adelinde shakes her head no. "You don't have a clue, do you? Oh," she sighs. "Please, rest yourself by the fireplace. I'll prepare tea for you." She rests her hands back at her side and scurries to the kitchen.

You frown, unsure why she's jumpy, but you follow her request and sit by the fireplace. The crackle of the fire contrasts the tense air you feel when maids brush past you, offering tea Adelinde made. You thank them, gently blowing on the drink.

After taking a sip, you place it down with a pinky to lessen the noise it makes on the table. You hear the door open, and the choruses of maids greeting someone.

"Welcome home, Master Diluc," you hear and other voices saying, "We've prepared a meal for you and your sibling, would you like to rest yourself?"

You peek from your chair, he obviously hadn't realized you yet.

Diluc's lips make a thin line and shrugs off his jacket, "Why is Kaeya visiting. Isn't he supposed to do his knightly duties?"

You have no clue why he says it like that. The venom in his voice sends a shiver down your spine. You decide this is your cue to give him a warm welcome. You stand from your seat, and open your arms in a grand gesture and waltz to your brother. "Diluc! It's been a while huh?"

You clearly see him tense hearing your voice. His head snapped to your direction with his mouth parted. The maids respectively take their leave, bowing before they do so.

Diluc looks you up and down, still not believing you're there, like you're just his imagination. His hand slowly reaches out to you as if you're a dream.

Your feet lead you closer and you grasp him tightly in an embrace.

He freezes, but slowly relaxes in your hug, reluctantly bringing up his own arms to wrap around you. You feel his grip tightening, and you feel his shake out silent sobs. His face buries in your neck, letting tears fall on your clothes.

You soothe his back, and press a kiss on his hair. "I'm home, Diluc."

He trembles, pushing himself away to look at you clearly. Why hadn't you come home earlier? He wanted to vent, he wanted to yell, shout, he wanted to know how much he missed you in your absence.

He clears his throat and coughs in his fist. "You should have told me about your arrival," he adjusts the gloves on his hands, and looks to the floor like he did when he admitted he accidentally broke your toy when you were 10.

After these years, he still looks up to you as his older sibling. Not a thing has changed.

But you couldn't help but notice one thing. You knew Diluc and Kaeya had matured, you knew they would grow taller, but shit, now Diluc's taller than you.

"I sent a letter a month ago," you began. "It should have been sent to your office in the Favonius Headquarters? That's where I send my mail after you told me about your promotion to Cavalry Captain."

You squish his cheeks with both your hands. "Because I know you're a workaholic and only respond to letters that mean business, so that's where I sent it off to. You never write back, neither does Kaeya," you pause, thinking for a moment. "Neither does dad. Tell me he hasn't gotten sick that he couldn't respond to my letters."

Diluc lifts your hands off his face and frowns. He doesn't know how to break the news to you- not when you look so excited to be home and tell of your adventures to your family, so he asks, "Did you eat yet?"

You note the frown on his face. "'What's got you grumpy," you prod. "I need to find dad first. Told him in the first letter I gave him, I'd give the first gem I find."

Diluc watches you leave him to go to Crepus' room on the second floor. He hears the thuds on the floor and the opening of the door, but does nothing to stop you. You left with a smile, and you come back confused.

"Why is dad's room empty?"

How cruel.

...

Kaeya hums, passing by Flora's shop and purchasing a Calla Lily for the sake of it. He is well aware of the Fatui that stand by corners. Whispers of the wind give him intel, and so does alcohol apparently. He leans on a wall right outside Angel's Share, watching two Fatui members drink some of the tavern's strongest alcohol, imported from Snezhnaya.

"That damn," the one with the red and black mask hiccups, lifting a mug with foam overflowing. "Damn brat's gonna snitch on us to the Knights- *hiCC* boss lady wou- *HicC* would have our heads!"

Thankfully, their more responsible Fatui friend takes the mug and switches it with their drink, water. "You're the one who let Vindicta out of your sight when you know their frequencies to escape. This is all on you, buckaroo."

One of the Fatui escaped? How peculiar.

Kaeya hums, in steady strides he shows himself to the Fatui and takes a seat from another table and sits in front of the two. "My, my, my. If it isn't the wonderful Fatui," he divuldges. He twirls his Calla Lily around his fingers, amused with the Fatui's reactions.

Their mouths drop, knowing who he is and they hastily clean themselves up by sitting straight and wiping away the alcohol from their faces. "Good evening, sir."

"Evening to you too," he places the flower behind the person's ear, flustering them. "Well? Drink up. Everything you order will be on me."

The Fatui look at each other, skeptical with Kaeya's kindness, but the drunken one accepts the offer. Kaeya celebrates in the inside as he slowly gains Fatui intel.

Though, the second Fatui whom he dubbed the "Responsible One," took a while for them to take a sip. Turns out, they couldn't handle alcohol, that's why they avoided drinking it.

"So, my dear friends," he slides a coin on the table and stares both of them down. "A mora for your thoughts? I couldn't help but notice the tense of your shoulders when you first arrived here."

Responsible One raises their mug drunkenly, and gives a pointed look, "You... you know too much. How?..." They stare at their friend and whisper shout, "Don't tell him about Vind or-" They fail to continue their sentence and pass out on the table.

Kaeya feigns a surprised face and looks at Fatui number 2, "Who exactly is Vind? I'm sure you don't mean the storm watcher up at the cliff." He coats his voice with sugar, and it seems Fatui friend fell for his kindness.

"The damn brat," they spit out before hiccupping again. "Recruited them, fed them, saw potential, gave a home, and they escaped."

Kaeya nods and pushes another bottle of wine to the Fatui's direction, urging them to continue.

"Was supposed to be one of the Agents to spy on the *hiCc* to spy on the Ragnvindr family, because *HicC* Vind was one of the best there is. They were about to be promoted Harbinger after an assignment *hiCCUpp* but then Big Boss Lady said 'End the Ragnvindr legacy,' Vindicta left without a word. They escaped."

The Fatui downs another bottle of wine. "But judging from Boss Lady's reaction, Vind did the job: killed him and placed the blame on the Knights."

The Calvary Captain knits his brows and places his hands in front of him. It laced themselves and he watches the Fatui person empty out his wine.

"I'd be careful of what you say if I were you." His lone eye glints dangerously.

"End the legacy?" Kaeya frowns. "Can I ask..." He couldn't ask why or the Fatui would stop talking to him. "Can I ask when your beloved spy did their job?"

The Fatui waves a hand, "Six years ago. After they killed that damn aristocrat's father, they tried escaping. Big Boss supervised them under their watch. 'Potential' the Harbingers always say, but I don't see the potential in them if they don't have loyalties under the Fatui. A wild card, really."

They lay their cheek on the table. The temperature drops quite dangerously. Kaeya's diamond eye glints with coldness before it turns back to warmth.

"Rumours have it," the Fatui sighs, playing with his empty mug. "The training Vindicta went through is rougher, so we were hoping they would tie their loyalties to us. We let them explore once, and they escaped under my watch. Maybe it was their assignment to leave, maybe it's not, because Boss Lady was okay with it, she said 'Vindicta will always return in our hands.' when they first escaped, and surely enough they do return. But either way, I'm fucked for letting them go missing the third time of the week."

Kaeya laughs with no soul and quickly ends the lovely 'conversation.' He pushes himself from the table and stands, "Thank you for chatting with me, it's been interesting." He tucks in the chair and glances at the two Fatui dozing, or close to dozing off.

He swiftly turns away, scoffing when he's out of sight from people. Vindicta is a dangerous card. Not even the Fatui know where their loyalties side.

Vindicta. How peculiar indeed.

One of the best Fatui, which probably meant they were payed well with respect and mora, but why are they labeled as an escapee when they always return? With someone as dangerous as a Harbinger, who do they side with- the Fatui or something else?

Kaeya has a lot of questions.

...

Diluc sits on a cushioned chair and hunches over, resting his chin on his hands, thinking.

Always thinking.

The once lit fireplace is soaked with water he splashed over. The scent of burnt wood wafts nearby. The light chatter of maids go through one ear and leave the other.

How long had it been since he last saw you?

Eternity is his answer. It's been eternity since he last saw you.

He lets out a long sigh, throwing his head back and running a hand through his untied locks.

Too much thinking for today. Diluc groans in frustration and sits back up. He turns his head slightly, seeing you in the corner of his eyes taking out boxes of things you owned from 10 years before.

It doesn't make sense to him. Why come back so suddenly after years of not seeing you? Though, you claim you sent him letters, he never got them because he closed himself off from the Knights.

"Diluc," you set down a small picture of a family portrait you took out from hiding behind many books.

You are taking this oddly well.

You're taking this too well, in fact.

This raises a red flag for Diluc. He told you the fall out of your family, how he quit the Knights, but still you're going around the place like nothing had happened.

Don't you feel any rage? Or even sadness?

He sees too many red flags and hates it- from the way you can hide things like Kaeya so easily, to the way you just suddenly appear back in his life. It feels weird. It's not easy to let someone that in quick, yet you're still his role model, so it's okay, right?

He's always looked up to you when he was younger. You never were at a loss of words and stood up for him. You were the person he can turn to when something wrong happens, but what were you doing for yourself to be gone for so long? Adventuring Teyvat could not have taken ten whole years. Where did you even stay?

"Diluc," you crouch in front of him and talk to him as if he were six again. "I'm okay, okay?"

Diluc takes a shaky breath and sits up straight. His posture resembling a king's. "I have an idea, and I would like you to help me."

You look at him in awe. The realization settles in: Diluc has grown, and you're still stuck trying to make up the past.

"And what do I help you with?"

"Finding who's responsible for father's death."

notes: had this in my drafts for a long time and i was like "wait where was i going with this..." until BAM i have the idea again so im gonna continue it

(part 2)

[yostresswritinggirl]

Abandoned By The Altar

Part 3.1; were you really meant to be? VIBE

A timeline oriented story focused on your once perfect childhood relationship as Diluc’s bride to be, soon becoming estranged after the death of his father and his neglect. You only wish now that he looks at you the same way he did when you heard you were supposed to be together forever when you were young.

Pairings -> Diluc x Reader

Word Count -> 3510

Themes -> Reconciliation, Cyno was here, estranged relationships everywhereee

Series -> Part of Sojourner and Bonafide (event masterlist) Part 2

Warnings -> Goddamn violence

In the winery empire of the city of wine and freedom, this world is ruled by two unmatched tycoons that never fall from the top pedestal, with the mastery over wine-making and business marketing. Truly when it comes to this matter, Diluc Ragnvindr and (Y/N) (L/N) are the scariest and most charming duo to befall such economical prowess.

So when parties and gatherings are held in the Winery, noblemen and businessmen all over Teyvat scramble for a chance of invitation to level themselves to at least a humble chat with the prestigious business duo.

Yet even if they were witness, they will never be privy to the true secrets those two hold within.

"Apologies, esteemed guests. Master Diluc must excuse himself for a while," your stare shifted to the side over the rim of the glass you were cradling. His ruby eyes meeting yours after sparing the wine glass a stare, a meek nod you then reciprocate as he goes past your side with the Fatui Harbinger, the Seneschal and all other company joins him at a private room.

"But there is no cause for concern. The party shall continue under the supervision of the Mistress," you set down your drink upon hearing your name, stepping up to offer a humble yet radiant smile. You hope things work out on his end, was your thought as you finally entertained the remaining guests who recognize your prowess.

Behind your back you flicked your wrist as the Albino silently slinks away from the limelight to prepare.

The intervention was not as long as it was in terms, and yet the moment was painstakingly slow for your side. Many noblemen seeked not only your prestige as the master practitioner of economics but also the perfect wife ready for the taking. Your fingers uneasily fumble with the infinity ring on your hand, something they barely paid mind to as they continued their attempts to woo you, something you can only sigh over.

Unfortunately your 'relationship' with Diluc was still something only a few people know. There was no need to make it public yes, but it also caused a lot of unpleasant interactions that you wished you could easily avoid by telling, something you couldn't do to ensure your safety. Diluc was still a huge mystery to you despite the assurance of your encounter in the garden of cecilias.

But you thought to yourself with a sigh, a promise ring is different from an engagement ring.

A hand suddenly slides around your shoulder as you were distracted, and your head whipped to the side where the presence was with your elbow read to break a rib- "I hope I'm not intervening an important discussion," Diluc’s eyes bore straight ahead to the Fontaine businessman you were half-heartedly conversing with and your arm immediately drops to your side, "But I must discuss an urgent matter with the lady as well."

The Fontainian grumbles as he pries his head away from the hand on your head, producing his best smile in forced understanding as Diluc sweeps you away to the back. This is for a serious matter but the consistent grip on your shoulder had your mind reeling. It was only when he revealed his equipped Delusion did you have the mind to finally focus and work on your own attire.

"Guards! Take down the assassin!"

The blunt end of your polearm smacks painfully against the back of the chest plate of the guards, knocking three out as you look over to the Darknight to see him dispose the two nearest him. You then watch in awe as he summons chains from thin air, gripping them as he expertly throws it at the escaping Master Krupp, and like a lasso he was captured by the slithering cage.

Diluc's power always intrigued you since the day you were first witness of it. Not a Vision but definitely not far from it. He's also in the dark of its true meaning but even you know that he had a little bit of information from his four years of isolation, something he didn't want to tell you.

As your raise your head from staring at his Delusion, hearing their grunts of interviews, a glint to your right suddenly alerted you of another presence. "Wait-!"

"Master's planning to-"

You muffled your horrified gasp at the sight of the blood shooting out of Krupp's side, your polearm shakes in your hand before tightening your grip once again as you two turn to the assassin. Il Dotorre stands there in great poise two giant needles hovering by his sides.

He just killed his own companion, such thoughts made your face twist under the black veil that covers your identity as much as it could. And those thoughts distracted you from the one-sided conversation in front of you, "Keep up the good work and hone your unimpressive powers.

But this visionless one," an arm slinks around your waist in a blink, a masked face inches away from yours that forced you to hold your breath, "is much more remarkable than you."

Before Diluc could even reprimand him, he disappears within seconds after bidding his farewell. And your knees would have buckled if not for your fiancé catching you in the nick of time, collapsing at the tense situation that had passed.

You could have died like Krupp.

But the feeling of Diluc's arms squeezing you protectively reminds you of your existence.

Not even a day old of cecilias were swept off the stone slab in place of newly harvested ones, both batches can be mistaken to be the same with how healthy they still seem to be. This was Diluc's observation as he watches you replace the flowers on his father's grave. Crepus Ragnvindr.

Perhaps it was his own neglect and adamant refusal that made him forget about this isolated cemetery. He expected the grave keeper or at least a member of the Winery to keep it well-kept, not you who seems to have come to this place on a daily basis.

The smile he enjoys and dreads is wiped from your face as you offer a silent prayer. Eyes closed and hands together. Next to you Diluc only stands with his arms crossed as his gaze continues to linger at the engraved words.

Lisa was at the mansion earlier to investigate about the recent Fatui incident, and as the interrogation ensued by the gazebo of the Cecilia gardens, Diluc realized that you lingered in the distance to eavesdrop. In the span since your arrival and before his, did anyone else explain the accident to you? What did you hear? Did anyone actually tell you anything?

And maybe these questions were the reason that he willingly accepted your invitation to visit his father's grave just like that.

Four years without your constant touch and smiles had broken Diluc into who he is now, an empty shell of a man who once had high hopes. A helpless puppet who struggles to grasp the man he was before. And as he moves closer enough for your shoulders to touch, it was an unconscious gesture that cries for your help in the turmoil that spirals in his head.

But when you look at him with a reassuring smile— Diluc's walls fortified by four years of hatred and isolation all came crashing down with the heavy wave of his tears. The pain of that day pours out of his lips as he felt small within your arms, eyes painfully avoiding your face.

The true story of his father's death, the disaster that lead to his resignation from Ordo Favonius, his quest to find answers in all the years he had abandoned his life in Mondstadt.

There were details that you were unaware was truncated from his confessions, the only ones that mattered were those he spilled.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," words the both of you repeated for the pain you two couldn't confide to with one another ever since that day.

No, things wouldn't be fixed in one day. Hearts destroyed for years cannot be melded back today, but it is that moment that solidifies the trust between you two:

That deep within the abyss of your souls lie the desperate desire to reach out to one another like they used to before.

The petals of the Cecilias on Crepus' gravestone tilts in respect, but within it blooms a new hope you were both not witness to.

Only the elderly and close acquaintances knew of your original existence in Mondstadt, and only a few ever recognizes your prior occupation and childhood before you left for Sumeru. Even if you had only been gone for two years, changes so drastic happened in your wake.

The most painful one always lingers in the back of your mind, never failing to bring a frown to your face.

"You loved Ludi Harpastum when we were children, so what's with the long face?" Your eyes that lingered on Amber and her new friend looks up to the ones next to you, eyes also distant as it comes upon yours.

You couldn't tell him or even ask about Crepus, not now at least. But the words he spoke washed away the melancholy off your face, smile brightened at the idea that he still remembers such precious memories. He looks away immediately. "I do, but I'm not a kid anymore, the festival caters to children's participation."

Diluc hums in agreement and the talk ceases like so. He's not into small talk but the short conversation still had you feeling light and euphoric.

Soon enough Amber had come over to introduce the two of you to her demure friend Collei, shy and hesitant but still trying her best to be polite. An imagined arrow pierces through your heart at the cute child in front of you, and you couldn't help but coo and oogle at her.

So adorable with beautiful green hair, unique and paired perfectly with her wide eyes. Every compliment makes her face redder. This only makes your fangirling worse, already hugging the flustered child who's having an internal mental breakdown.

"Oh, I wish I could have a child as pretty as youuu!"

Amber looked up upon the sudden shift of his posture, absolutely baffled at the sight of Master Diluc's face as colorful as his hair as his gloved hand desperately tries to hide it. The knight felt like she had witnessed something she shouldn't, immediately snapping her head back to you and Collei with her lips trying its hardest not to break into a smile.

You were on your knees to be eye-level with Collei as you held her hand, placing on it a bag of mora as you told her to use it to enjoy the most out of the festival. Her previous embarrassment still lingers as evidence on her still flushed cheeks, yet her eyes had in it a gaze of awe.

There was hesitance when Amber finally dragged Collei away to venture through the festival more, leaving you in exaggerated tears at the departure of 'a little angel' with a still silent Diluc next to you. The sun had already set, and yet you two stood in place for a little longer.

The thought of having children passing by your minds.

If there's a recipe for a good time in Angel's Share, Kaeya knows what it is.

A cold glass of Death After Noon, raucous laughter spurred on by joyous tunes, and just the right company. It was a while since he'd last felt such comfort with company, he thought as he holds back a smile and grimace as he sips the sour grape juice in his mouth, eyes twinkling as he watches your already flushed face intensify as you down your drink.

When Kaeya had heard from multiple yet scarce accounts from the servants of the Winery on how you act drunk, he felt it was his mission and privilege to find out how such moment happens. And so one night when you two had the time to sit down at Angel's Share, what should have been a night of a single drink and grape juice after switched around to nothing but liquor.

"You've been looking at us weird the whole day, do you want to fight?" The Cavalry Captain reached for your hand to settle down your glass, but when you literally threw your drink against the wall with a loud bang, he knew he was done for when at his peripherals he saw the horrified look of your Fiancé as he was immediately alerted with the breaking of glass.

"Oh shit, she's feral," Kaeya breathed incredulously with a small, small hint of awe as he watched you pull up your sleeves to throw hands.

"What the hell is going on here?"

"Luluuuu!" The swordsman did NOT miss the minute detail of Diluc's red stare recognizing the switched drinks on the table, exposing his involvement on the matter. If it were not for your intoxicated self barreling towards your fiancé, he would have been given a scalding glare.

A jumbled mess of a conversation transpired before the captain, made up of hushed grumbles and slurred whines sometimes filled with begging or with rage from the random person you'd set pure hatred upon seconds ago. Your hand clutched his sleeve as his other one was placed on your shoulder to ground you, somehow this proximity and interaction... made Kaeya remember the first time he met you.

"Alright, that should be enough for tonight," the third wheel clapped his gloved hands together as he stood from his table. "This commotion is on me, I'll take her home-"

"What gave you the idea that I'd let you?"

The same hostility that started four years ago made the man of frost- freeze where he stood, challenging the accusing glare with a playful squint. The mini stand-off already made the other patrons too curious as all attention was caught by the trio, while you had your face buried to Diluc's fluffy ponytail as his bargaining chip for calming/distracting you.

Diluc isn't familiar with taking care of a drunkard, only kicking them out. If he were to leave you at your current state, he'd be clueless as is on the mistakes that would pile up.

Kaeya raised this point as he reached over to take your arm, the redhead publicly wrapping his arms around you protectively in response. The blunette wasn't even wary of the increasing agitation his sworn brother wore but the scandalous gasps and gossips the customers around them now speak at the action.

Get a grip, Diluc, you wanted to keep this hidden, didn't you? By some miracle, he managed to communicate this telepathically through side glances and gritted teeth.

But if there was one thing the Ragnvindr had inherited from being with you for more than ten years:

It was your stubbornness.

...

When you roused from your slumber, you were in an unusual place yet one so familiar. The nostalgia hit you tenfold more than the headache your hangover dangerously inflicted, "How did I get here even?" It was four years since you've last seen this place, set foot in this room even.

The moonlight hitting through the room's balcony tells you it's around midnight.

The room didn't change a bit last you remember it, as if it was well-kept despite being abandoned. The lamp that was tilted a little bit, books of stories you've read long ago were arranged the same way you'd left it. Not a single dust catches on to your soles as your feet touched the wooden floor of your room in the Ragnvindr's home.

It was still creaky at some parts of which you expertly maneuvered around bare, shoes discarded in place for stealth as you exited to the corridor. No sounds or light emanates from the underside of Diluc's room across from yours, without checking you weaved through the hall to climb down the main stairs.

You find your man seated by the fireplace. You may not live here anymore but even you were well aware of his insomnia that stretches past sunrise.

"You're awake," he speaks when you reached the main floor.

"Look who's talking," you mumbled cheekily as you sat adjacent to him, noticing his quick glance at your bare feet.

Tight lipped as it may, you saw a little quirk to the edges of his lips that lifted up your spirits through the small chatter and mostly silent time after that. The crackles and embers of the furnace was good company too, and yet it was not enough to distract you from the obvious stare he was giving to your leg.

Anxiously you hid one your foot behind the other, folding your legs under the chair's shadow when his gaze didn't waver. Perhaps it wasn't that bright of an idea to leave your room barefoot, maybe it was too childish, for him especially if it was bothering this much.

You opened your mouth to excuse yourself, or maybe defend your actions,

"Can I touch you? Nothing- Nothing sexual, there's just something I need go check."

You didn't have to ask, was what you wanted to say. But you held back your tongue in favor of giving a meek nod, curious and faintly doubtful of whatever it is that he would do.

Yet when he kneeled down and gently took your leg upon his hold, you can't help but smile solemnly as his gloved touch reached your thigh where the scar from long ago lingers. Diluc's eyes stayed on that spot, soothing the long lost pain with rubbing circles.

Ticklish, as he leans down to graze a soft kiss to it. It almost made you cry with how gentle this Diluc is in front of you.

"I promise... I'll do better. With every heartbeat I have left, I will defend your every breathe."

You're crying now.

One faithful morning in a miraculous setting where Diluc was the only one available to tend to the reception, a young man presents himself by the entrance with a passive look. This unfamiliar man was someone he knew, something he realized when he finally looked down for a better view past the black hood.

"I am here in the guidance of an old address. Is this where (Y/N) (L/N)?"

"I'm (Y/N)'s fiancé, what do you want?"

"... That does not answer my question, but I am only here to see how life has been faring since two years past."

Diluc never felt discomfort in silence as heavy as this. Having to walk with Cyno the whole way to Mondstadt from the Winery was not part of his itinerary, nor did he wholy agree to the arrangement. Perhaps it was because he knew how you two were good friends back from his 'observations' in the Academia that he felt responsible.

Or it was his pride to not let the shorter guy know that you were in fact, not resident to his home despite being betrothed.

It would have been very weird.

"What the actual- Cyno?! Is that really you?!" Why you were near the gates that day was a mystery to them both, but at the sight of the familiar figure had you barreling towards the foreigner, tackling him into a hug with a laugh so carefree it almost pained him.

That was your signature move to when you always met him excitedly in your childhood. Diluc shakes away the thought as he stood at the side to watch and eavesdrop. You're around the same height as the Sumerian, although the hood and ears? makes it hard to distinguish who was taller between you two.

"What are you doing so far out from the Academia? Aww, did you miss me?" Playful as always to those you are close to.

Scarlet eyes found its way to him in a split second. "I came here under the request of Lisa, she needed scholarly help over an important matter," your pout had him smile a tiny bit, "but it is relieving to meet you once again."

In a honesty, it was a curious case as to why he was even there, lingering. He has work to do, the Tavern's first shift was his. But when he took a step away Diluc found it very difficult to leave you be, to leave you with this... person.

He has no business here.

He shouldn't idle.

He's not the type to idle.

You turn your head at the sound of footsteps as you realized Diluc approaching, who you honestly thought already departed during your reunion with Cyno. "Ah, senpai, I wanted to introduce to you my-" full and pale lips captured your words in a quick swift dip, a grip on your waist to steady you before he stood back too quick for you to react.

"I'll get going, stay safe."

Quick and concise like his kiss, Diluc left in hurried steps as you stood there, a mess. He'd never- he has never-

"How amusing," the words the Sumerian uttered barely registered into your short-circuiting brain.

I can't believe this. I'm actually cutting this to a fourth part what the fuck, I swear the next one is the last,holy-

@optimestick @moaa @dandelion-dreams @witchsungie @lehra @zelos-simp @legionqueensav @snackgod @rxsalinee @cala-ran @wind-wheel @lilydewi22 @yellowflowre @traveler-lumine @nonniechan @creation-magician @hanniejji @gojos-baby @just-some-stars @volleybloop @mortifiedmoon @dankchikorita @endeavors-big-dick @karlitaburrito @bunniesrorange

[eggmarr]

cleopatra + diluc

i’ll be on time (143 event drabble)

pairing: diluc x gn!reader

warnings: diluc story spoilers, lovers to strangers, lots and lots of regret with a side of self deprecating thoughts from diluc and kaeya, slight allusions to alcoholism/someone is heavy drinking to forget, aggressive use of italics, for the love of god why did i procrastinate so hard on finishing this

a/n: so it turns out cleopatra is actually kinda sad- but like otherwise i hope you like it! and thank you for requesting something for my event :) also thank you to @xiaophobic and @pavo-ocell-me for helping me out with writing this!

songs: cleopatra by the lumineers

“Let’s run.”

“….What?”

His red-rimmed eyes look up at you from his spot on the floor, and you bend down to match his eye level with something in your eyes he’s never seen before.

(perhaps it’s something he’s just never noticed.)

“Mondstadt has only ever given us bad memories; why can’t we go make something better somewhere else?”

(he hates it when you fight, the tears prickling at both of your eyes are too painful to swallow.)

“Crepus would have wanted you to be happy!”

“Staying in Mondstadt will make me happier than I could ever be with you!”

(another promise, shattered in the wake of your disappearance from his life and swept away by the tides of his grief.)

The maids are forbidden from his father’s study, if only to save the footprints you tracked out after he let his emotions get the best of him.

He spends his time in the yards you would hide in, teasing voice calling his name from between the green vines winding up and down the wood. It echoes, much like the broken-hearted cries the maids pretend not to hear when he stomps up to his room with red-rimmed eyes.

(they were wrong; it doesn’t always get better with time.)

Kaeya finds him behind the tavern, a rare moment of silence broken only by shaking breath. The last time he’d seen him like this…

“You’re a certifiable mess, Master Diluc.”

He leans against the wall across, the shaking shoulders of such a social pillar almost ironic considering how the place was reversed all those years ago.

“Staying silent?” His tone is light, almost to an alarming degree when he sees the green bottles littered beside him. “Taking a bit of the merchandise too? You rascal-“

“Shut it, Kaeya. I’m not in the mood.”

“You’re never in the mood when you talk to me, that’s how our relationship works, right?”

Silence. Then, a sigh of what seems like defeat. The veil of red hair is pushed back, revealing the reddened cheeks and glazed eyes of a man who’s had one too many to drink.

“I’m certain you’re familiar with the entrance to the tavern? Charles will be quite happy to serve you all the drinks you wish if it will get you out of my face.”

“Mmm, tempting, but this is a much more interesting sight.” He kneels down, organizing the bottles so they don’t clink with each little movement and aggravate the headache surely brewing in that hard head of his. “I haven’t seen you this drunk since we snuck into the cellar when we were teenagers.”

“I’m not drunk.”

“And I’m the new grandmaster.”

He puts his head in his hands, groaning as Kaeya sits beside him on the rough cobblestone. He swishes one of the still closed bottles, popping it open easily and taking a swig.

“Snezhnayan vodka?” He coughed a bit at the burn, taking a deep breath in and out. Firewater lived up to its name; those who drink it regularly tend to have a lot of missing time. “How are you even coherent?”

“I’m the owner of the biggest winery company in Mondstadt. It would be unusual for me to not have built up a tolerance to most alcoholic drinks.”

“That doesn’t change the fact that you’re the one drinking it. I didn’t take you for one to break promises, Diluc.”

The alcohol is forgotten as he leans back, raising an eyebrow at his disheveled state.

“….Why are you here?” His tone takes on a bitter air in the dark, head tilted back against the building wall. “I was under the impression that caring for the feelings of others wasn’t your strong suit.”

“Even if we aren’t genetically related, I guess we do share some unfortunate habits.” Kaeya brushes off some invisible lint from his sleeves. “You know, you could always go try and look for them. Mondstadt can fend for itself well enough.”

Surprisingly (albeit not too much considering the state of his system), a snicker came from the man as he swirled the clear liquid in his bottle from side to side.

“I made sure that bridge was burned when they left, whether I wanted it to be or not.”

(he didn’t want it to be.)

“…..Pass me one with some left, would you?”

(but you disappeared from his life like you promised, and he wonders every day if you took his heart away as well.)

[gshinisalesbian]

Midnight Moon II

Kaeya x Reader (Part 2 of 3)

Here for Part 1!

13

That night, a heavy storm blew through Mondstadt. You and Kaeya huddled together under an old tree, your knees held against your chest as you gazed up at the sky. You felt the stiffness of Kaeya’s body next to yours; he hadn’t said a word since his father left you two.

You doubted Kaeya’s father would come back.

They were Khaenri’ah’s “last hope” as they had so often been called. What were silly things like family bonds when compared to saving their home?

You shivered, the cold reaching your bones. Mondstadt was the city of freedom, and you had felt that euphoric feeling when you had entered the city. But it was a lie, you realized, as you sat out in the storm. You could never be free, not while you were responsible for all of Khaenri’ah.

“Are you cold?” Kaeya finally spoke, his blue eyes staring blankly ahead of him. You could feel the warmth of him next to you, but you wondered how much of him was really there with you.

“A little. I’m alright, though. ... Are you?”

“I don’t know,” he said quietly. You were surprised: such a tone was truly unlike him. “But I do know that we have a job to do now. That’s all we’re supposed to think about, right?”

“Yeah.” You let out a small breath of air, wrapping your arms around yourself. “You’re right.”

“Hey!” You heard a voice call out loudly, your eyes shooting to try and peer through the storm. “Who are you?”

You recognized the face of Master Crepus approaching you two, a defensive stance in his limbs. He was the owner of this winery, and was famous as being the best wine maker in all of the seven nations. He no doubt thought the two of you were here to rob him.

And weren’t you? Maybe not of his life’s work, but of the information he held that Khaenri’ah could use against his home.

“My name is Kaeya,” you heard him say next to you, trying to pull the expression of a frightened, lost child. “And this is my life companion, Y/N. We’re orphans with no where to go, you see, and we were just trying to take shelter from the storm.”

“Orphans?” Crepus asked, his eyebrows knitting in an expression you couldn’t quite read. “How long have you been alone, boy?”

“Months now, Master,” you answered for Kaeya, not having to hide your shivers from the cold. “We have no food or Mora. We are sorry for trespassing, sir, but we truly have no place to go.”

Crepus considered you two, eyes taking in your messy hair and his dirty clothes. He saw the tired lines under Kaeya’s eyes, the callouses that covered your hands.

He sighed, running a hand through his ruby hair. “Well, there’s nothing else to be done about it. Come with me. The least I can give you two is food and new clothes.”

He glanced at Kaeya, a frown growing on his face. “I have a son your age. I couldn’t bear to see someone so like him in your condition.”

With that he turned, leading the way for you and Kaeya.

You and him shared a glance, looking into his blue eyes. You were flooded with warmth and comfort. Kaeya always had that effect on you, and you knew that whatever would happen from now, you would have Kaeya by your side until the end.

14

You and Kaeya had lived with Crepus for a year now, gathering more and more intel while slowly growing even more guilty about it.

Kaeya had grown close to Crepus’ son, Diluc, so close that they were inseparable. The boys, brothers in ever right, took you everywhere with them, traversing the fields of Springvale and the stores of Mondstadt’s city.

Diluc was the Calvary Captain of the Knights of Favonius, already possessing a Pyro vision even at such a young age. Still, you often saw the childish and innocent wonder that Diluc still held inside him, and you felt like maybe this place could be your home.

Crepus had grown attached to you and Kaeya, treating you the same as he did his own son. Being the only girl under his care, Crepus loved showering you in new dresses, ribbons, shoes, you name it. You weren’t too proud to admit that he loved to spoil you, but you weren’t going to complain about it either. It was very different from your old life in Khaenri’ah.

You turned to look at Kaeya, brushing your hair over your shoulder. “Kaeya, come help me for a second.”

Kaeya glanced up at you from where he sat on a nearby chair, glancing through a random book on the stand next to it. He stood, making his way over to you where you were standing in front of a tall mirror. “What do you need?”

“Tie my dress for me,” you said, lifting up his hair so he could reach it better. Such a request was not unusual for you; you and Kaeya had been incredibly close since you were 12, often sharing a bed when the other couldn’t sleep, or helping bathe the other when they were too weak or injured to do so themselves. Despite the teasing of adults, it had never been anything sexual; you two simply cared for each other, being comfortable enough around each other to not have such high boundaries anymore.

Kaeya complied, hands reaching down to tie the red ribbon around you waist to tighten your dress. You let your hair fall back down when he was done, gazing in the mirror at your appearance. You saw Kaeya was staring at you too in the mirror, blue eyes taking you in.

“You look beautiful,” he told you gently, a small smile playing on his lips. You felt it too. The dress was white and lacy, a silky red ribbon wrapped around you waist. You were certain it was more expansive than everything you had ever owned back at home.

“Thank you.” You smiled, turning around to look at him. “You look pretty yourself.”

Kaeya was dressed in an expansive white shirt, his black pants free of wrinkles or stains. His blue hair had gotten long enough to pull it back with a ribbon (which, you noted, was one of yours). You teasingly reached your hand forward, running your hand through his blue hair. “Quite the Prince Charming.”

“Please.” He wrinkled his nose at you with a laugh. “I’m better looking than him.”

“Oh, sure.” You rolled your eyes, enjoying seeing the amusement dance through Kaeya’s eyes.

Kaeya grabbed your hand, interlacing his dark fingers with yours. “Well, Princess, father and Diluc are waiting for us.”

You raised an eyebrow at that. Since when had Kaeya referred to Crepus as father?

“Of course. Wouldn’t want to make your boyfriend wait long for you.” You laughed at Kaeya’s pointed glare, letting out a small snort when he elbowed your side.

“Please, he couldn’t handle this.” He used his free hand to gesture to himself, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

“You better thank your lucky stars that I can.”

He laughed, pulling you by your intertwined hands to the door, holding it open for you with a playful bow.

15

“How did you get sticks in your hair...?” Diluc questioned you, running a brush through your hair.

You sheepishly shrugged, not particularly wanting to admit to Diluc that you had gotten into a fight with a neighboring (and quite unusual) hilichurl.

Diluc let out a small sigh, smiling at you. He was always very relaxed and carefree, and you knew how such an attitude easily charmed and captivated boys and girls alike in Mondstadt. Briefly you wondered if things would be different between you two if you did not feel as strongly towards Kaeya as you did.

Diluc continued to brush your hair in silence. Usually Kaeya would style your hair for you, but he was out with Crepus, trying to gather more intel from him. Not matter how relaxed you and Kaeya got here, you two were afraid what would happen to you (and Kaeya’s newfound brother and father) if you did not complete your mission.

You inefficienciantly had tried to do your hair yourself, but your hands were more accustomed to holding a sword than a brush. Diluc had noticed your struggles, and with a deep laugh, had offered to help you. You figured he put at least some work into his hair, noticing the long ruby strands, and had accepted.

Besides, you did want to get to know Diluc better. Despite living with Crepus and Diluc for so long, you had tried to avoid truly getting close with the young son. You didn’t want to add to your guilt, or get too attached to them when you would inevitably have to betray them. That didn’t stop Kaeya, however. Knowing how close the boys had gotten, you wanted to understand what Kaeya saw in him.

“So, Calvary Captain,” you started, noticing Diluc’s attention shift when you spoke. “How are the Knights treating you?”

Diluc practically beamed, pride radiating off his skin. “Couldn’t be better. I’m making my father proud.”

You stiffened, his words reminding you of Kaeya only a few years before. You wondered if Kaeya could have had a life like him if only they had been born in another life, far away from their homeland.

“That’s wonderful,” you said weakly, but Diluc took no notice, his eyes gleaming with untold confidence. He seemed to take his duty seriously, but that didn’t erase the childish adoration he still held.

You smiled to yourself. Diluc was so confident and energetic; you really couldn’t ever imagine him losing those characteristics even as an adult. You were certain he would grow up being just as cheerful and carefree.

Without realizing it, a fantasy formed in your mind. You imagined Kaeya too, still Diluc’s brother, still boisterous and teasing, joking with Diluc without having to worry about the weight that hung on his shoulders. He was older now, and free, and home.

And you were by his side, more matured and careful, but comfortable with the brothers, comfortable with the home you had built. Kaeya looked over at you, a smile in his older eyes as he leaned down and kissed your forehead. You could feel the affection and fondness on his lips, and without realizing it, you knew that this dream was what you wanted more than anything.

But it could never come true.

[meixdoll]

The way back home.

Kaelumi Drabble. More of a character study about Kaeya.

Comfort / Stablished relationship

—————————————————————-

In the big scheme of things, it all sometimes ends up being quite different from what you originally grasped on a smaller onlook. This was a piece of valuable information he had come to learn recently, and since then, tried to tackle smaller issues with this perspective in mind, whether they’d be snippets of chatter the wind carried to his ears, clearing a misplaced hilichurl campsite or tackle down pesky deskjob, like today.

He couldn’t get his mind around how Jean managed to do a job this tiresome and yet, at the same time, this incredibly boring. Just sorting out the reports about incidents implied reading facts through the eyes and handwriting of soldiers that sometimes gave as much importance to the details that truly mattered as one would give to the gravel beneath one’s boots. Not to be unfair to his men or anything but a lot of them had absolutely no imagination or skill to be making an incident report worth reading, and he had to at least skim trough them all. This was exactly the sort of duty he had been continuously avoiding since he was given the option of becoming Acting Grand Master. But now, in an odd twist of fate, Varka had to go through early retirement, leaving now Grand Master Jean on charge, relying as always in her right arm Kaeya Alberich, now Grand Commander of the Knights of Favonius, to alleviate some of the job involving the surprisingly heavy duty of protecting Mondstadt. One would think that a land of peace such as this one required no nonsense involving chivalry or anything of the sorts, but alas, he was there at a late hour doing some overtime reading (or trying, poor him) through some of the world’s most boring incident reports.

The bell from the cathedral broke the stream of his rambling thoughts, making him painfully aware of his body. He rubbed his good eye and let the piece of paper fall softly on the desk. No matter how much overtime he did, there was no way he would finish sorting out all of that before tomorrow, so it was probably best to leave it as was. “Heh~” he scoffed. He definitely could see the bigger picture now, after all. He had changed. And still he was no less upset with having to admit he did felt tired. Today, in particular.

The street was dark and wet when he finally left headquarters. A chill ran through his skin, making him take a sharp breath, tasting cold air and wet grass, and he stared back at the building looming over. To be frank, there was a time when it had felt like home, until it didn’t. Then again, with Master Crepus dead and Diluc not talking to him, “home” was somewhat of a really foreign thought to him, no matter where he slept. He tried to keep calling the Order’s premises “home”, and when he couldn’t, tried to get something he might call “home” to himself by buying a place to absolutely no avail. It was comfortable, but not really anything he would give a status over simply just a house. Until it wasn’t.

Kaeya disguised a little smirk behind a gloved hand, pretending to warm it with his breath, even though there was no one around. Maybe he wasn’t that different after all. He set up foot down the city stairs to the lower levels, thinking again over the recent past happenings. Being nostalgic wasn’t something very common when it came to him, and the gloomy atmosphere of late night Mondstadt after an autumn shower was perfect for lingering about sweet nothings from the past. He made it all the way to a bannister where he could see the roof of Angel’s Share tavern.

He sighed when he thought about just around two years ago, when he would stop by and get face planked on the taverns table, if his estranged brother wasn’t around. If he was, he would be happy to pester him for a bit before Diluc decided he had enough and asking Charles to replace him at the counter. Some time had passed since he was living that reality everyday, before the incident that changed everything.

Now, he was at least partially confident that he would be amicably greeted by his brother, who would try to annoy him with insisting on serving him a soft drink until he’d finally pour him a glass of wine and slip some finger food that Kaeya absolutely hadn’t ordered right below his nose.

Reconciling many years of antagonizing with each other on the heat of the battle had been the most uninteresting and corny way of giving closure to an awful chapter in their lives, and yet reminding the “don’t get yourself killed, you ass” Diluc yelled, swinging his claymore, still made the corners of his mouth twinge upwards. He then reached another flight of stairs. To the left he would be on his way to the tavern. The younger version of him would undoubtedly be on his way there already. But his younger himself was desperately trying to get back some sense of normalcy out of his brother’s cold gaze. The present himself however was sore from desk hours and so tired that he would probably fall face first on the counter with simply smelling the wine. Tonight he needed something different.

“As you did yesterday... and the day before, no?” he thought, messing with himself, just to mess with someone, really. He hadn’t changed that much. He turned to the right. Mondstadt’s night life could miss him for another day.

His house was one of the tiniest ones, but for himself and his need for privacy and away from his job was just the right fit. Privacy, specially, was something he wouldn’t have back at the headquarters bedrooms. His affairs and misdeeds outside service hours were best kept secret and hidden away. More than a place to crash it indeed had been, but not exactly of the cozy variety. Coziness was yet again a foreign concept that he heavily associated with Master Crepus´s care, small Diluc and Jean running around saying nonsense about pet turtles and the strange yet comfortable clothes he had been given after being taken in as a Ragnvindr. He hadn’t felt coziness and comfort since father’s death, hadn’t felt the homely warmth, the yearning for your own safe place being embraced by someone dear close to the fireplace after getting inside all muddy and with a scraped knee. Things change over time. But then again maybe they don’t. A clear display of that was the joy and relief he felt when he noticed the familiar glow of the lit fireplace in the living room shining through the window. Things had changed because his place was now a proper home, and hadn’t changed because no matter how short he made his absence be, he was on a constant edge, fearing coming back to an empty house, to darkness and the hard crumbles of breakfast bread he had left over the kitchen counter that morning. And every time he came back, there were signs, all over the place, that he had nothing to fear, that there was someone patiently waiting to see him closing the door behind him.

He was truly a foolish man, he sighed, and pulled the heavy auburn door open.

A jingle broke the heavy silence laced with lumber crackles, and he almost regretted allowing the idea of hanging a handful of tiny bells over the door frame, that right now, by contrast, made an awfully sharp noise. The living room opened up to his right hand, and his eye shot straight to the bundle of cushions and blankets plopped on the couch beside the window. A pair of intense gold eyes glistened, blinking a pair of times and once again after two tiny and delicate hands rubbed the sleepiness away from them. Lean legs shifted, and a book fell to the carpet.

“I wasn’t sleeping!” She said, groggily. Kaeya chuckled.

“I think I’m gonna have to scold you then, since it’s about past midnight, miss Lumine”.

Still wrapped in blankets, the girl made a little pout and raised an eyebrow at him, as a reproach for his use of the honorific, which made him laugh softly.

“That’s a very accurate impression of Master Diluc, you’re incredibly talented”

“I may not be in the need of throwing an attitude towards Sir Kaeya”, she said, emphasizing the honorific, “if he wasn’t treating me like a kid”.

Still smiling, Kaeya got rid of the heavy blue jacket and the fur collar, propping them in the couch arm rest. He sat down near her bundled feet and undid the buckle around his neck, and then took his gloves off.

“I would never do that, ace.”

Still feeling the dizziness of sleep, Lumine couldn’t get a sharp retort fast enough, and limited to a little smile, bashfully removing the blankets off her. She liked the nickname way more than she would admit, even before the familiarity with the knight grew at an alarming speed.

“Where is Paimon?”, he asked. The little bug was usually the first one at the door, sharing a thorough summary of everything she had eaten today. Her absence was pretty telling about just how late he had come home today.

Home.

Lumine suddenly jolted and stopped moving, grimacing. “Ah... about that.” Kaeya playfully tilted his head towards her. “I kinda wanted to make dinner tonight since you’ve been very tired lately so...” she only stopped talking for an instant while he scooted just a little closer to her. How ridiculous it was, she thought, that he could still get on her nerves with so little. “So I did. But...” Kaeya brushed off her face a misplaced lock of hair, and urged her to go on. “But you were taking so long she just didn’t listen and ate your share as well.” Kaeya pursed his lips, holding back a laugh. “She obviously started feeling ill, so she went upstairs, and hasn’t been back since”.

Kaeya swiftly picked the book from the floor. “So no dinner for this poor knight”, he reproached out loud in a truly pathetic voice.

Even though Lumine knew he was half-joking, she made a move to stand up, “I can fix you something quick now if you want... I’m...”

Unexpectedly, she felt the light plop of a book down on the top of her head. She swiftly threw a cushion to his chest on revenge, laughing. He was also laughing, sincerely, not the curated and affected one; truly laughing. He did that a lot, lately.

Still laughing, he softly wrapped his arms around her waist and let his weight take them both down to the couch. Lumine’s face went as red as an apple in zero seconds, but what he was really interested in, was the drumming of her heart beating faster and faster into his left ear.

It came with no surprise to her, she knew now that he was not in the least the cold, charming and cunning person he usually made everyone believe. Still, some displays of affection startled her greatly simply because of their spontaneous nature, leaving her hot faced and unsure of what she should do for a few moments. This time, however, she cradled his head softly, burying her fingers in his hair. “Was your day this big of a nightmare?” She whispered. Looking down she could only see his blue locks and his good eye closed, face buried deep into her chest.

“Nah. I got to finish like this. It’s really not bad”. He muttered, enjoying the caresses she was giving him.

The warm embrace of someone loved, by the fireplace. Somehow different but still.

It was home.

“Ah, says the handsome Mr. Kaeya” she said, jokingly, reliving one of the first conversations they had.

“Ah, so you DO have feelings for me.” , he started. She waited for the next bit, but then felt the slow and regular pace of his shoulders moving up and down, and chuckled.

This change of pace in her life was indeed pretty different to what she was expecting. But it wasn’t bad at all.

To her too, it was home.

————————

Thank you all for reading! This was supposed to be a Drabble to get my writing muscles stretched but it ended up being kinda lengthy. I’m sorry. I hope you like my awful writing.

[merctrovert]

Ragnvindr || Chapter 2

“Someone will remember us, I say, even in another time.” - fragments of sappho

Four years later.

The city breeze shook the windmills throughout Mondstadt, Barbatos's light melody ringing through the air, rushing with the wind.

You stood by the gates of Mondstadt, eyes wide as if you were there for the first time when it had been the first time in four years.

The city had not changed much at all, as you wandered throughout the streets, shuffling the bag on your shoulders with your back was sore from its weight.

You hadn't thought you'd return so soon either. Travelling around Teyvat, never lingering at a certain place for too long was a life you much preferred.

But the smell of sweet flowers and the dandelions that glowed with the faint teal hue clenched your heart and you were almost hesitant to face the reality. The reality that perhaps you missed your home.

Why had you returned?

You glanced down at the crumpled letter your friend had sent to you, ignoring the tea stain in the corner.

Your eyes glazed over the words again, like they had done perhaps a hundred times on your way to Mondstadt.

Diluc Ragnvindr has returned to Dawn Winery.

That was why you had come back.

You chuckled but it soon turned into a sigh as you dropped yourself onto the bed in the tavern, exalting in the weightless feeling.

Did he even remember you?

He sent your family no letters, no message. Not even a single word or glance was sent your way. He was grieving, you knew. But he had also cut you all off completely. You were sure he had his reasons, but the cut did not feel any less deep.

Raising your hand, you played with the sunlight as it filtered through the window.

You only hoped that he was okay.

"Now that is a face I have not seen in years."

You smiled at Elzer who had not seemed to age since you last saw him. He still had the youthful radiance around him, though he looked more exhausted.

"How are you, Elzer?"

He nodded instead of answering. "The Winery is getting along well too, I recall your father being an avid supporter."

"Ah yes..." You looked away, unable to mention how since Crepus's death, your father had been unable to even drink wine. It reminded him too much of his late friend.

"I'm going to assume you're here for Diluc. I am surprised you still remember him."

"I had known him for most of my life. I can't just forget about him. Is he..." You tentatively asked, biting your lip. "Is he alright? I heard he came back..."

"Master Diluc is... he is alright. He is mainly in solitude and he prefers it that way. No one knows what happened in those four years but he... is not the same."

You gave a soft smile towards Elzer who sighed, heart heavy. "I know he has changed. I guess I just... wanted to see him."

"Yes, you have all been apart for a long time. Even Kaeya and he have separated since."

This was news to you and your hand fell from Elzer's shoulder. "They have?" A heavy feeling grew within you. He had been alone for so long.

"I-I can go tell Master that you are here if you'd like-"

"No." You spoke quietly, sending Elzer a reassuring smile. "I don't want to bother him." In truth, you were afraid of seeing him. Afraid of who you'd be looking at.

"Instead, when all his work is done, just tell him I've returned."

"Is that it?" The grey-haired man looked at you expectantly. You hesitated for a second but then nodded.

"Well, while you're here, you should take a look around! The tavern has certainly changed."

It had grown darker in colour, but it still emanated a homely feel you had missed. As you ventured around, you recognised some old faces of the staff, but for the most, they were all new. Even Crepus's paintings had disappeared, leaving the tavern walls bare.  

A piece of newspaper caught your eyes and you held it up to Elzer with a raised brow. "I guess we are not the only ones who have returned. Is this why Diluc's arrival hasn't been spoken about much? Because of this... Darknight Hero?"

You squinted, reading the smudged ink litterings of the newspaper.

Elzer coughed. "Yes. No one knows who he is but... he is dangerous. Dangerous but certainly for the people of Mondstadt."

Your expression changed multiple times as you read about this mysterious hero, about the thieves it had hung up in the plaza, about the monster corpses that would be found hacked down just beyond the walls of Mondstadt. The only question was, were they protecting Mondstadt or were they a threat?

"He doesn't seem to be harmful to the people yet. I'm sure the knights have their eye on him."

"Kaeya, the Cavalry Captain certainly does."

Humming, you pocketed the newspaper, heading towards the door of the winery. With a smile and a wave, you turned. "It was good seeing you, Elzer."

"It was good seeing you too."

Bowing, you left, following the dirt path, kicking down weeds that had grown between the cracks of the stones.

You glanced behind you, up at the window of where you remembered Crepus's office to be.

A dark curtain covered it, obscuring your view of what was beyond the window.

Sighing, you turned again, shoving your hands inside your pockets.

You couldn't help the disappointment that grew inside but headed back towards the city with a heavier heart than before.

The drink in your hand had gone cold.

Rumours of the Darknight Hero were circulating throughout Mondstadt and you listened in quietly from above, your legs dangling from the wall surrounding Mondstadt.

"....every night..." The women below you whispered as they went their way, muttering about the mysterious hero.

The sun hovered between night and day, the sheen of orange glimmering into a blue as night arrived silently from beyond the Statue of the Seven ahead of Mondstadt.

If you were lucky, you mused, perhaps you'd get a glimpse of this midnight hero.

You, of course, had not come prepared for a fight. But from this high above, you felt as though you could see anything.

Even the roof of the Winery peeked at you.

And so you sat, waiting. Staring at the newspaper and the blurred image of this hero until it was too dark and your eyes strained to read the tiny words. Waiting for this Darknight Hero, to confirm whether your suspicions were true or not.

"When questioned once by a civilian, if the hero was with the knights, the masked man simply replied, 'I would never side with such incompetent beings.'" You murmured the words from within the newspaper, a slight smile tugging at your lips.

You thought back to the day he left the Knights, thinking about the rumours of Diluc Ragnvindr and his dislike towards the Knights of Favonius.

There seemed to be a similarity between your old friend and this new, dark hero.

The sky was pitch black by the time the drink in your hand was empty. You lay on the top of the wall, hair strewn across the ground, staring up at the sky, wishing you could see the stars again.

In Liyue during the Lantern Rite, the lanterns reflected against the dark waters like stars. You closed your eyes, recalling the scenery and the peace you felt.

He came.

Soft footsteps from beside you, the shadowy figure overlooking your body on the floor.

As you opened your eyes, he stepped back suddenly, but you grabbed onto his cape, the material coarse in between your fingers.

"Diluc?"

The figure made no response to the name and your grip almost faltered. The masked figure took this chance to run, almost gliding off the edge but you yelled, 'Wait!', and his footsteps halted, head tilted back slightly.

"I know it's you. No one came here but us. The side of the wall no one worries about. See?" You held back a small smile, looking down. "I've got you now, Diluc. I know it's you. So please..."

There was silence and you stood up, staring at his turned body. "...please stay."

In the dark, Diluc Ragnvindr grit his teeth, but his hammering, afraid heart had given himself away. He knew you knew it was him and that running away was futile, but his feet also faltered at that thought. Why would he need to run away?

He stared down at his gloved hands.

He had seen you arrive at the Winery, watching from the dark room he resided in. You had changed too, he thought then, with your hair worn high up in a long ponytail when you always hated wearing it up.

And he watched you leave too, with a melancholy sort of smile lingering on your lips.

Why didn't he go and see you? He did not know the answer either. Perhaps seeing your face was too much of a reminder of what he used to have. Perhaps you meeting him would be too dangerous.

"Do you... still remember me?"

Dropping his hands, Diluc looked up at the pitch-black sky and closed his eyes.

Of course, he did. Of course, he remembered. He could never forget. But he didn't say that.

He simply turned, shadowed eyes falling onto the girl from his past he had worked so hard to forget about.

Diluc Ragnvindr had fought monsters and slayed them with cold mercy. He had crushed criminals in the dead of night and become the dark himself. He singlehandedly destroyed his enemies and they feared him.

Yet in front of you, he felt stripped and bare, his scars revealed. He felt like he was his young self again.

And he didn't know what to do.

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