#criminal heist | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sorrowsofsilence · 8 months

Text

Burning Out • V

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Fem!Reader

I was lost, but now I'm found Under the lights and in the sounds So let us sing and sing it loud That we're not perfect, but we're proud of who we are.

Noah Sebastian is lost. His crime-filled lifestyle is anything but perfect; but everything changes once he meets you.

Words: 6.6k

General Fanfic Warnings: 18+, explicit language, smut, alcohol, drugs, violence, mentions murder/suicide, panic attacks/anxiety, nightmares

Authors note: Chapter Five- A Dreamlike Heathen (EDITED: 09-03-24)

new? start from chapter one here

THIS IS A FANFICTION USING REAL PEOPLE IN A FICTIONAL SITUATION! I AM NOT IMPLYING THESE PEOPLE WOULD DO THE THINGS IN THE STORY OR ACT THE WAY THEY DO IN THE STORY, IN REAL LIFE! IT IS SIMPLY FICTION, AND JUST FOR FUN! THINK OF THEM AS ACTORS LOL.

"Fuck, Noah," she moaned, throwing her head back against the mirror as she rode the wave of pleasure. Her eyebrows were furrowed in ecstasy.

"Don't stop," she begged, and I didn't. I gave her everything I had.

"Come for me, Y/N," I said between licks and squeezes of her hips. "Be a good girl for me."

As her legs started to tremble and her mouth opened in a silent scream, she reached the peak of her climax. I continued until she pushed me away, her breathing becoming shallow as she caught her breath. I took hold of her chin and brought her lips to mine, yearning for her to taste herself on my tongue.

Life had broken her; just as it had broken him. But when they got together, their pieces became whole. And they started on their journey, together, mended as one. - Steve Maraboli

+++++

NOAH

Twenty fucking thousand dollars. Twenty.

My thoughts were consumed by two things. The first was the daunting task of coming up with all the money myself. And the second, the fact that I had slept with Y/N last night. The next morning, I sat on the cot in our motel room, my head buried in my hands as my leg fidgeted anxiously.

“I-I should go,” Y/N hopped off the counter, wiping my release off of her stomach before readjusting her shorts.

“wait-” I grabbed her wrist, pulling her back toward my drunken state, “can I see you again?”

She gave me a wry smile, “I’d like that.” She tugged from my grasp but I held her tighter, pulling her into my arms.

My body remained swaying, the euphoria and alcohol mixed, “do you regret what just happened?”

I wasn’t sure if this question was for me, or her.

“No,” She said, her fingertips running up the skin of my neck. She fit against my body perfectly, as if she was always meant to be there.

I had left the bar with the boys minutes after fucking Y/N’s brains out, stealing lingering glances at her figure behind the counter before parting. Even though I was drunk, I couldn’t believe it happened… but I needed a release, a bit of euphoria to ride out through dealing with the crushing news D gave us.

Twenty thousand.

My eyes settled on the anklet that D had forced me to wear, the green dot blinking every few seconds. I couldn't believe that the bastard was tracking our every move now. He'd been following us for years, but this was taking it to a whole new level.

I had no idea how I was going to come up with that much money on my own. The boys and I took turns doing jobs each night just to keep our sanity, but the fact that I had to keep a log of where we got the money from and submit it to one of D's lackeys so he could monitor my work was absurd.

To make twenty thousand by the end of the month, I'd need to bring in approximately 645 dollars per day since there were 31 days. Realistically, that didn't seem too difficult when broken down, but some days we would bring in thousands while others we would make absolutely nothing. At least my final day of owing would also be my birthday; what a great present.

I let out a groan and flopped onto the mattress on the floor, feeling overwhelmed by my thoughts. Everything had led up to this moment, and I still felt completely screwed over.

Jolly sat on his bed, strumming away at his old acoustic guitar that was barely holding onto its strings. With his fingers dancing along the neck, I closed my eyes and let myself get lost in the rhythm he created, tapping my fingers along to the beat.

I began humming, words spiralling out of my mouth subconsciously, “I’ve seen the devil, more than I’ve seen god.”

Jolly gave me a slight snicker, continuing to strum, “I like that.”

“I see through you, I know what you are.”

I repeated the two phrases over and over, singing lowly as I continued to drum my fingers. Hmm. I checked the time on my phone briefly, realizing it was 4:30 pm.

I sat up, grabbed my bag and swung it over my shoulder.

“Where are you going?” Jolly asked.

“To see Y/N.”

“Why?” Jolly stopped playing, placing the guitar across the bedsheets.

It's been twenty long years I've cried, but not enough tears I've become the sum of all my fears (I feel scared, so scared)

I stared at him blankly, the cogs within my mind turning to find an answer themselves. Why was I going to see her? Why did I care that I made it for when she got off work at the cafe? Something about her was magnetizing, and I couldn’t help but crave more. I wanted to explore her mind and body; to know her in every way possible.

I don’t have time to think of someone like her; I don’t deserve to think of someone like her.

I have a job to do.

But I don’t care.

“I don’t know,” I turned to look at him with my hand on the doorknob.

Jolly’s eyes watched back quizzically, “I think you should leave her out of this. Break it off now.”

I furrowed my brows, “There’s nothing to break off.”

Jolly gave me a curt laugh, “Yea, which is why you fucked in the bathroom yesterday. Nothing to break off.”

My face warmed, unsure of how he knew. I didn’t think it was obvious.

“She seems like a nice girl. You wouldn’t want to get her killed,” Jolly warned. He wasn’t wrong. This line of business wasn’t exactly safe, and I knew I shouldn’t get Y/N involved.

“She already knows too much,” I said, avoiding his eyes as I stared at the floor.

“Det är inte riktigt rätt möblerat på övervåningen hos dig.” Jolly groaned, rubbing his eyes with his palm. Your top floor is not properly furnished (Mind is a mess).

I rolled my eyes, “Oh don’t bring out the Swedish insults you asshat.”

“Well, I suggest you break her heart now before it’s too late.”

I bit my lip as I opened the door, ignoring his burning words.

“Din jävla fubbick,” I heard the swede mutter before I shut the door. You damn moron.

Guilt crept over me like a heavy wave as I walked quickly through the parking lot of the motel. My mind was racing and my hands were slick with sweat.

What am I doing? Jolly was right; Y/N shouldn’t be dragged into this mess. But at the same time, I couldn’t deny the pull towards her. It had been years since I had someone who truly listened to me and understood me. Someone who I could relate to besides my brothers. And she was stunningly beautiful, with her sparkling eyes filled with so much hope; something I aspired to have one day. Maybe I could even share with her one day.

Hope.

You gave me a strength unparalleled But nothing compared to how much I've bled (I feel scared, so scared)

+++++

Y/N

He hasn’t shown up for his coffee again today. Did he regret what happened last night?

I swept between the tables and recalled the previous events. I don’t even know what came over me yesterday, but I do know that I didn’t have any regrets.

I knew my face began to warm as I recalled the way Noah’s fingers dug into my hips, gripping onto me as he pounded into me mercilessly; drowning his sorrows through the pleasure of our bodies.

I couldn’t stop thinking about the way he stared into me, aching with fervour and hunger, begging me to give everything to him.

I wanna know what it feels like Is it nothing but dreamlike? I wanna touch you now

It was anything but romantic- having a quick fuck in the bathroom of a bar, but I longed for Noah even more after that.

I feel like I’m going crazy. How could he have such a hold over me, especially after finding out he is a criminal? I should be running; so why can’t I let him go?

Lust? Infatuation? Whatever it is, I crave him.

I pushed away my thoughts, finishing the rest of my closing tasks and clocking out. I waved to Annika as I pulled my hoodie over my head, grabbing my bag and de-tangling my earbuds.

As I stepped outside, someone grabbed my hand and tugged me towards them. I let out a surprised squeal as he pulled me into his embrace, wrapping an arm around my shoulder.

"Noah?" I looked up at the man above me, admiring the tattoo on his neck before meeting his gaze, feeling a familiar flutter in my heart. His smiling eyes met mine as he wrapped his other arm around me, enveloping me in a warm hug. A grin spread across my face as I buried it in his chest, taking in his surprisingly comforting scent.

"I'm sorry I didn’t come today," Noah murmured into my hair, his breath warm against my scalp. "I had some... business to attend to."

I pulled back slightly, searching his face for any hint of what that "business" might have entailed. His eyes, usually so expressive, were guarded now. A reminder of the dangerous world he inhabited, one I was only beginning to glimpse.

"It's okay," I said, trying to keep my voice light. "I was starting to think you were avoiding me after last night."

Noah's grip on me tightened, and he leaned down to brush his lips against my ear. "Trust me, sweetheart, avoiding you is the last thing on my mind."

A shiver ran through me at his words, at the promise they held. I knew I should be scared, should run far away from this man and the darkness that clung

How can it feel so right? It is nothing but dreamlike I'm gonna touch you now

“But you came now,” I said.

“I wanted to be here for when you got off work,” He said, squeezing me gently before letting go. “Do you want to do something before your next shift?”

I gave him a cheeky grin, “Something?”

Noah's eyes darkened with desire as he caught my meaning. He leaned in close, his lips brushing my ear. "I have a few ideas," he murmured, his voice low and husky.

A thrill shot through me at his words. I knew I was playing with fire, but I couldn't resist the pull between us.

Noah licked his lips before matching my smile, putting his finger through the belt loop of my jeans, and tugging me along beside him as we walked down the sidewalk. I flushed at the gesture as he held me next to him as if claiming me for his own.

“I meant like, dinner,” He hummed, “but I also can’t stop thinking about last night.”

“Come Y/N,” he had said between sucking and squeezing my hips, “be a good girl for me.”

A shudder ran down my spine as my mind wandered, and I peered up at Noah, his cheeks flushing through his confession.

“Me too,” I said softly, “Did you want to come back to my place? We could order takeout… because I need to get my clothes for my next shift.”

“I’d like that,” Noah peered down at me warmly.

We walked together in silence, the only sound the bustle of life that surrounded the sidewalk as we passed various shops, heading towards my neighbourhood. For “level two acquaintances” the silence between the two of us was soothing, something that I think shocked us both.

With a gentle release, Noah loosened his grip on my belt loop, tucking his hands into his pockets. His brow furrowed with deep contemplation and worry as if something was gnawing at him from within. I turned to face him, noticing the slight creases in his forehead and the furrowed lines around his mouth, betraying his inner turmoil

“Did you want to talk about it?” I asked gently, looking ahead as the light breeze slid past my cheeks.

Noah was quiet, eyes darting back and forth, “I trust you so much, and I don’t know why.”

I nodded, agreeing with his concern silently, letting him continue.

“and I don’t know who else to talk to about this with…my brothers are too involved and have enough opinions as it is,” Noah said, following me down the path that led us towards my house.

“Remember how I told you we owe a lot of money to this… guy? Well, this month is supposed to be our last month, and then we are finally free.”

I smiled widely, grabbing Noah’s arm in excitement, shaking him gently, “That’s great news! You’ll be done with it forever!”

Noah chuckled darkly, rolling his head to the side in annoyance, “Yeah, well, there’s a catch.”

My grip on his arm fell, a sullen expression taking over my joy.

“I have to get him twenty thousand, myself. The boys can’t help me.”

“Twenty thousand?” I exclaimed, stopping in my tracks to look at him, “That’s a shit ton of money.”

Noah’s hand ran across his face in frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose, “I know. I am beyond fucked.”

I blinked a few times in disbelief as we approached the steps to my house, the greeting of Juice’s trill on the other side of the door inviting us in. Noah was immediately bombarded with cat love and he gave the furry animal a small smile, bending down to scratch the top of his head before running his fingers down Juice’s back.

Closing the door I kicked off my sneakers, hanging my bag on the coat rack. Noah followed, placing his black vans politely by the front door; which was when I noticed a small anklet blinking beneath the hem of his pants.

I stared at it quizzically, and Noah caught my gaze. He lifted his leg, mouth forming a tight line.

“Like my new accessory?” Anger seethed from his tongue as he gave me a sarcastic smile, before standing in front of me, completely defeated.

I led us upstairs into my bedroom, “What is it?”

“A tracker.”

I paused at the top of the stairs and turned to face him, my eyes narrowing in confusion. "What kind of tracker?" I shifted my gaze between Noah and the small device attached to his ankle.

With a heavy sigh, he followed me into my bedroom and flopped onto my bed. His limbs sprawled out as he explained, "The guy we owe money to, D, said we have to wear these trackers to make sure I'm not getting help from the boys. And I have to keep a record of where the money comes from and deposit it weekly to match my location."

"And you just found this out last night?"

His nod was barely perceptible, yet I could see the frustration etched on Noah's face as he closed his eyes tightly. Tears glistened at the corners, threatening to spill over. I stood by the bed, observing as his whole body seemed to crumble before me. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore and crawled onto the bed beside him. He shifted over, making room for me as I sat up next to him. Gently, he rested his head on my lap, seeking comfort and solace in my touch as silent tears fell from his lashes.

“I…I’m barely holding on,” He whispered.

My fingers began running through Noah’s scalp, lacing themselves through his chestnut strands in an attempt to soothe him, showing my support. I hear you.

My heart yearned for him once again, filled with sorrow and pain as he suffered in torment, dealing with the burden of his demons. Noah didn’t deserve this. He was young when he fucked up, and he hasn’t been able to escape. I saw myself within his pain, my past mirroring back at me.

“I just keep hoping that one day I’ll have something else motivating me- something more than fear, more than spite. I wanna feel like I’m living.”

I listened to Noah’s words as they resonated with me. I too, wanted to feel like I was living.

I had never been part of the right crowd, and I was always getting into trouble, due to the influence of my previous relationships. I followed their shenanigans because I had nobody else to model- and I made some poor choices. I chose to follow them.

However, I also chose to leave- to start fresh and to forget about my past. People can change, and people can grow, and Noah deserved the same opportunity. He was being puppeteered by an evil man; and I wanted to help him escape, as much as he wanted his freedom.

I chewed my cheek in contemplation, fingers still stroking his hair, “let me help you, Noah.”

“Help with what?”

“The money. You don’t deserve to do it alone.”

Noah sat up now, watching me intensely from across the bed, “You’ve built yourself a new life Y/N. Don’t fuck it up now.”

He was right. Why was I willing to risk it all?

“I’ve been willing to fuck it up the second I saw you at the cafe,” I traced his face, analyzing his expression before my mind wandered to an idea; one so insane I couldn't even believe I was about to suggest this.

“I’m going to sound crazy, and I can’t believe I’m going to say this,” I hesitated for a moment, sucking in a breath between my teeth, “but why don't you come live with me? You and your brothers?”

Noah’s eyes widened, lips parting slightly in perplexity. He blinked a few times, and I continued my thought.

“You won’t need to pay rent or anything, so you guys can save money to pay this D guy faster. The motel money probably adds up.”

Noah slid off the bed, standing up abruptly, folding his arms over his body in defence, “You cannot be serious,” he laughed with incredulity.

“Listen, Noah,” I scooted to sit on the edge of the bed, looking up at him, “I was stuck for a long time, and I didn’t have a helping hand… but I have enough to offer you. I know what it’s like to struggle.”

Noah’s fingers ran through his hair as he began pacing, shaking his head, “I don’t need your pity Y/N.”

“This isn’t pity, I swear,” I stood up, approaching Noah gently, holding both of his biceps to keep him in place from his anxious wading, “I wished someone had helped me when I needed it.”

He stared down at me in complete disbelief, his eyes scanning mine for any signs of doubt; but I remained confident in my suggestion, staring at him assuringly.

“so let me help you,” I whispered, reaching up to place a gentle hand on his cheek. With a racing heart, I rubbed my thumb across his skin, bewildered at my words.

He closed his eyes in conflict and placed a hand on top of my own, clammy and nervous.

“Why are you helping a monster?” Noah breathed, leaning into my touch, curious eyes observing me.

“Everyone deserves help. You deserve it.”

What are we allowed to do? What are we allowed to be?

“You’re not a monster Noah,” placing a hand on his other cheek, I stood on my tiptoes, pulling him down towards me, kissing the tip of his nose delicately.

I wanna cross the line with you Let's pass the point of no return

Noah watched me with pure awe, matching me by grabbing either side of my face, and placing his forehead on my own, “You are fucking crazy.”

Is this wrong? I don't wanna know A big mistake? I don't wanna know

I chuckled softly, “I completely agree with you, I think I am insane for offering this.”

I wanna know what it feels like Is it nothing but dreamlike? I wanna touch you now

Noah laughed quietly with me, still in complete doubt. His eyes kept trailing between my own and my lips, as if trying not to kiss me, before giving in.

How can it feel so right? It is nothing but dreamlike I'm gonna touch you now

Noah's lips pressed against mine with a tender urgency, as if longing to convey all the emotions he couldn't put into words. The warmth of his touch seeped through my skin and I felt myself melting into him. Our kiss deepened, the intensity building between us like an invisible electric current.

We stood there, locked in each other's embrace for what felt like an eternity before Noah pulled away, his eyes still fixed on mine. His thumb gently caressed my bottom lip, leaving a tingling sensation in its wake. He leaned his forehead against mine, his breath warm against my skin as we stayed entwined in our own little world of shared desire.

“I’m sorry, not sorry for breaking into your house; because otherwise, we wouldn’t be here,” Noah said.

“I forgive you, clearly,” I laughed, “but you could always try to make it up to me again if you feel like it?”

Noah let out a puff of air, hands running down my neck along my curves, resting at the top of my hips, “I like that idea.”

I grinned at him, my hands resting at the back of his tattooed neck, the apple and snake teasing me.

Noah's warm breath tickled my ear as he leaned in close. "I can't stop thinking about how you taste," he whispered, referring to our one brief encounter. I moaned softly as he hungrily kissed me again, feeling a sense of relief wash over me. Our heads tilted and we shared passionate open-mouthed kisses, devouring each other in the moment. Noah pressed his hips against mine, causing a soft moan to escape from my throat. As much as I wanted to continue, I couldn't ignore the fact that I had to go to work soon.

I pushed his chest gently, “It’s already 6… I need to leave for work in half an hour.”

Noah gave me a sly smile, “You underestimating my skills?”

I chuckled, “Not at all.”

“I bet I could make you come in two minutes,” His fingers trailed up the sides of my torso, fingers tracing circles across the skin.

I hummed, “Hmm, what do I get if you can’t?”

Noah leaned towards my ear, fingers squeezing right below my chest, “then I’ll fuck you so hard you won’t be able to walk, and you’ll come again.”

My body shivered from his words, and my stomach began to swirl with excitement as Noah’s hands worshiped my body, whispering lustful promises as he peppered kisses down my neck. Noah peeked over at the clock on my nightstand briefly.

“6:04.”

I closed my eyes as my breath quickened, following Noah towards the wall. My back pressed against it as he pushed against me, his body radiating heat. He gripped my wrists and pinned them above my head, holding me in place while his other hand trailed down to my waistline, igniting my desire.

I succumbed to Noah’s touch as his touch slid through me, circling and prodding. Whatever he was doing left me completely giving in to his caress; the fact both of us were still completely clothed made this moment that much more invigorating.

Noah’s teeth hooked on my bottom lip as he ravaged my mouth. I moaned earnestly as his fingers sank through my slick, curling towards my need. His palm pushed against me, rubbing and maintaining a repetitive pattern, and my legs began to give out. How he could make me surrender with his hand alone had me flustered.

(I'm in a) (I'm in a) (I'm in a) I'm in a, I'm in a dreamlike state

I rutted my hips towards his touch and Noah smiled into my lips, “so needy,” he mumbled.

I sighed eagerly as he continued his method, my body trembling in response, close to my release.

“C’mon princess, you can do it,” Noah muttered, trailing his lips down my neck towards my collarbone, before snagging his teeth on a sensitive spot. He sucked and nibbled at my skin, branding me.

I didn’t even care, exhilaration taking over.

Noah slipped his fingers out, sliding them up until he reached the top, pressing the pad of his fingers and circling them quickly. I shuddered, my body crumbling as I cried out his name.

Can it feel so right? It is nothing but dreamlike I'm gonna touch you now

Noah smiled into me again as his head lay pressed against my neck, satisfied and prideful of his actions.

My chest heaved as I came down from the high, folding off of the wall into his arms. I clutched onto his sweater for support, turning my head to the clock. 6:08

“That was four minutes,” I panted.

“Looks like I owe you,” Noah’s smug smile said it all.

I chuckled, looking up at him, eyes dilated with satisfaction “Oh, what a shame.”

Noah grinned, the whites of his teeth making my heart flutter. He sat on my bed, adjusting himself in his pants before watching me pace around my room, picking out my work clothes.

I opted for leggings and a square-cut long-sleeve. I took the clothes out of my closet, holding them to my chest before turning around.

“Uh…” I looked at the brunette, his hair cascading down his face perfectly, “Do you uhm, can you turn around?”

Noah choked out a laugh, “huh? you do realize that I’ve seen you like, partially naked? And just touched you?”

My face flushed, “Yeah… but still.”

Noah chuckled, obliging as he turned around on the bed to face the wall. I began stripping, pulling my leggings up before changing my shirt. I peered at Noah, noticing his head whip back around.

“Hey!” I laughed, “No peaking!”

Noah turned around once I was dressed, sticking his tongue out playfully, “Whatever do you mean?”

I rolled my eyes as Noah stood up, scratching the back of his neck, “I’d say we’ve at least levelled up to buddies.”

Yea, fuck buddies?

I hummed, “I agree, definitely more than level-two acquaintances.”

Noah nodded at me with a lighthearted glare, “Friends would be too far right now.”

“Definitely,” I mimicked his expression before leading us down the stairs.

“I’m sorry we didn’t get to eat,” I said, “but if you want, you could come to the bar?”

“I’d like that,” Noah bent down to slip on his vans as I put on my black Converse.

I chewed my lip, “Did you want to invite your friends? Maybe talk about the offer?”

Noah stood up, frowning, “Y/N- I couldn’t do that to you.”

“Well, at least ask them, see what they say,” I looked at him with a serious expression, “I wasn’t kidding with the offer. I have the basement finished but unfurnished; and a spare bedroom upstairs. You guys would have your own space.”

Noah stared at the floor, kicking up the side of the carpet nervously, “I mean I’ll talk to them.”

I couldn’t help but smile widely, “Please do. Now lets go or I’ll be late.”

+++++

NOAH

Ruffilo, Jolly, Folio and I sat in a booth at Sammy’s, with the trio observing me intently as I recounted the situation. "She offered us a place to stay for free," I whispered to my companions, stealing glances at Y/N as she attended to customers. Her hair, a lovely shade of H/C, framed her face delicately, and my heart skipped a beat at the sight of her genuine and radiant smile as she served drinks to the woman in front of her. She brought light and charisma into the room with her presence, igniting an incandescence that was hard to ignore.

“No fucking way we are doing that,” Jolly said, glancing at Y/N briefly before folding his arms, sinking into the leather of the booth.

“I mean,” Nick began, looking between us, “This would help us out a lot Jolly.”

“-and Noah,” Nicholas said, “Like we pay roughly 130 bucks a night. That’s $3,900 we’d save him right there.”

All of us peered over at Y/N, and she lifted her head, giving us all a smile.

“Why would she do that for you? For us? What’s in it for her?” Jolly said, skeptical.

I had no fucking idea why she would, but I was desperate for any amount of help I could get.

I shrugged, “I don’t know.”

She was selfless, enigmatic, and completely sublime.

“How long have you known her?” Nick raised a brow, plucking a fry from the plate in the middle of us.

I winced, “Er, two days?”

Folio’s eyes bulged out of his head as he leaned forward, chest pressed into the table, “Ain’t no fucking way this is real. She has to be getting something out of it.”

Jolly snorted, “yea, his dick.”

I scoffed, rolling my head back dramatically, “Oh fuck off !”

“That’s not what the hickey on her neck-”

“Oh, Can it Jolly, have any of you ever thought that maybe Y/N is just a nice person?

I reached for a fry and dunked it in ketchup before taking a bite. "People like us don't deserve kindness." Ruffilo glanced at me, clearly disappointed. "Don't say that. We've done some questionable things, but it's how we survive." "And besides," added Folio, "we can't offer financial assistance. D doesn't even know Y/N exists, so he wouldn't suspect any involvement from us." Nicholas nodded in agreement.

I watched the three of them as they gave me a sullen smile, “I’m worried D will be suspicious that our locations will move though; and that it will put her in danger.”

“She must know there’s a risk, considering you filled her in on everything,” Nick took a sip of his beer.

“Why she’s willing to risk everything she’s worked towards beats me,” I said, sighing heavily.

“Worked towards?” Nicholas asked.

The boys waited for me to answer.

She bargains with the world So everything she wants will come to her With no greed inside her mind She knows what she deserves

“She’s been through some fucked up shit I guess, but she saved a bunch of money and moved here to start over her life. She works two jobs almost every day to afford everything,” I looked back at Y/N for a prolonged period, my heart beating quickly, “She just kept telling me she knows what it’s like, and she wished people helped her.”

“So pity?” Jolly gave me a sarcastic smile, nodding rapidly.

“No,” I defended, “because she is a generous person.”

We remained silent, chewing our food quietly before Jolly spoke.

“Well, I suppose it’s worth a shot,” He said, eying the fries before staring at me, “for Noah.”

“Yeah, for me, but also you guys. She offered it to all of us,” I said.

Nicholas looked over at her warmly, “That’s kind of her. Really kind.”

We fell from sky with grace And landed in her soft and warm embrace She gave her love, her gift of life So we could live with her

I stood up, walking towards the bar, sitting on a stool in front of her. She nodded to another customer before smiling at me, waltzing over.

“So?” She bit her lip, almost looking hopeful.

I picked at the resin counter, my nail grinding within a divot in the material as I distracted myself from her, “How early can we move in?”

“Tonight if you want.”

Y/N and I shared a look before I nodded, giving a gentle laugh, “Okay. Want to meet your new roommates? Considering you haven’t even met the guys you offered your entire life to.”

Y/N laughed, “yea. I’m realizing how crazy I sound the more realistic this becomes.”

I motioned for the boys to come over and they did, each with a beer in their hand, sitting on either side of me along the counter.

Y/N gave them a sunny grin, introducing herself.

“It’s nice to see you again,” Nicholas said politely.

“You as well,” she nodded, before looking at Folio.

“I’m Nick, Nick folio,” He held out his hand, wrapping around her own and shaking.

She then moved to Jolly, who gave her a curt smile. Although he was stand-off-ish, she greeted him warmly.

“Joakim, but call me Jolly,”

“So, tonight?” I eyed everyone, who all turned to look at Y/N.

She shrugged, “I’m off at midnight. I can help take stuff over.”

“Well, we don’t exactly have a lot. We can probably take everything in two trips,” Nick said.

“I can help, I’ll meet you guys at the motel.”

+++++

We carefully packed all of our belongings into our backpacks and suitcases, and my chest tightened as I realized that we were leaving the place we had called 'home' for the past few years.

Nick shook his head in disbelief as he played Tetris with our belongings, fitting them perfectly into our vehicle.

"I have to admit," Nicholas said as he helped Jolly carry out their old guitars, "It will be a nice change to live in an actual house for a while."

“Good point,” Jolly mumbled, “But I’m still suspicious.”

That is why we live like heathens Stealing from the trees of Eden

Y/N made it over to the motel around 12:30, and we packed her car as well.

All of us stood outside the motel, part of us grieving for departing what we’ve always known; the other relishing in gratitude for this new opportunity.

Y/N placed a hand on my shoulder as I stared at the motel door plaintively.

Living in the arms of freedom And everything we touch is evil That is why we live like heathens

I gave her a sorrowful smile before nodding at my brothers, “Y/N will lead the way.”

As I sat in the passenger seat of Y/N's car, my eyes drifted to the window as we drove past towering buildings and bustling streets toward her neighbourhood; our new home. My heart was filled with both excitement and disbelief - how did I get so lucky to have this amazing woman in my life?

Once we arrived and entered the house, Juice, the friendly orange fur ball, greeted us at the door and immediately won over the boys with his playful antics. Y/N proudly gave us a tour of her humble abode before leading us down to the basement. As she had mentioned, it was bare and unfurnished, save for a few scattered cardboard boxes and a pristine rack of guitars that caught my eye. The room echoed with potential and possibility, just waiting to be transformed into our own personal haven.

“Holy shit- is that a Martin D-41?” Jolly immediately smiled, walking over to assess the guitars, “and an Ernie Ball Music Man John Petrucci Majesty?”

“Damn, and a Gibson Thunderbird IV Bass?” Ruffilo joined in on the geek sesh, both of them giddy.

Y/N laughed, “Wow, you must know your stuff. Those were my dads, he was really into music.”

She walked over, grazing her fingers across the strings, “I’ve kept them in his memory, but I have no idea how to play.”

I watched her as she picked up the Martin, handing it to Jolly, “feel free to use them whenever you want; they deserve some love, they were made to be played.”

Jolly’s lips fell open before he smiled warmly, gazing at the guitar, “You’re so fucking cool.”

We all chuckled and I watched Y/N in awe as she interacted with my brothers, taking them in and treating them as if she’d known us all for years.

The stone, the dirt, the dust The unforgiving promise made to us Unworthy of your light, your god, your touch We're guided by the lust

“I only have one blow-up mattress I take camping, but there is a bed in the spare room, and the couch in the living room…” She looked between the four of us until her eyes landed on me.

“Uh,” Her cheeks flushed as she spoke, “we can always share my bed tonight until I can pick up a couple of mattresses…”

We cry the fallen names We cry for those who burned beneath the flame We stand besides the good and brave The broken and enslaved

My face warmed along with her and I coughed, straightening up, “Yeah, no worries.”

The boys watched us, a low chuckle leaving Folio. Y/N grabbed spare blankets, pillows and the blow-up mattress from the closet. She set up the bed, which Jolly dibsed. Nick took the couch, and Nicholas took the spare room down the hall from Y/N’s.

Y/N and I went into her room and she shut the door quietly, turning around, sighing.

“Well,” she blew out a puff of air, giving me a kind smile, “this is interesting.”

I nodded, following her with my eyes as she began getting ready for bed, brushing her H/C hair, and wiping off her makeup for the day. I admired her beauty, staring at her with reverence. She was brilliant.

“I-I can sleep on the floor Y/N. I don’t mind,” I whispered as she slid an oversized t-shirt over her frame, stripping off her work attire.

I licked my lips, swallowing harshly before averting my eyes, reminding myself that now was not the time to get worked up. She had to be at the cafe in a few hours.

Juice purred as he curled into a bed next to her windowsill, eying us from the corner.

Y/N turned off her main light, flicking on a dim lamp that cascaded a soft orange aura across the room before she crawled into bed, opening the covers and patting next to her.

“You can sleep with me, it’s okay.”

My feet shuffled restlessly as I adjusted my hoodie, draping it over the chair by her vanity along with my jeans. Just a few hours ago, I was pressing her against the wall, consumed by passion and filled with confidence. Yet now, I felt shy and vulnerable. It was strange how this simple act of sleeping in a bed with her felt more intimate than the sexual encounter we had shared earlier.

Her love is yours But only if you give your heart to her

I walked over to her, sliding myself between her covers, and lay as close to the edge as possible.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” She mumbled, jumping out of bed and leaving towards the bathroom, returning shortly with a bottle of pills and a cup of water.

She opened the bottle, turned around and placed one on her tongue before taking a swig of water. I watched as she placed her pills on her desk, before hopping back into bed.

That is why we live like heathens Stealing from the trees of Eden Living in the arms of freedom And everything we touch is evil

She crawled underneath the covers, snuggling into the duvet as she lay on her side, facing me.

We remained silent for a few moments before she asked me a question in a small voice, “Is it ok if the light stays on?”

I preferred the lights off, but I wasn’t going to share my preference; I was invading her space.

“I have trouble sleeping,” She whispered.

“Of course it’s ok,” I said, pulling the covers over my shoulders.

“Okay,” her eyes fluttered open and closed, fighting against sleep, “goodnight Noah.”

I watched as her lashes touched the tops of her cheeks, her eyebrows releasing tension from the day, lips parted gently as sleep took over.

My eyes danced across her features, completely captivated. Y/N breathed slowly, and my hand subconsciously reached over, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear as I endeared over her.

“you’re my saving grace,” I whispered as I stroked her hair, still completely baffled this was all happening.

I watched her for a moment longer before I turned over, facing the door and her desk. My eyes trailed over to the bottle that rested on her desk, the yellow plastic alluring. Zolpidem. 700 dollars right there.

Destruction. Crime. Greed.

That is why we live like heathens That is why we live like heathens That is why we live like heathens

Chapter 6

Tags:@crimson-calligraphyx @lma1986 @spicywhenspeaking @sammyjoeee @shilohrosechicken

@princessmarshmallowx @laurpartyprogram @cookiesupplier @nojoyontheburn @lacktoesandtoddlerant

@veronicaphoenix @er3nslovergirl @cncohshit @scrumptiousfestivalpost @melcchs

@flowery-mess @mentallynot-here @judging-from-afar @darkmxgician @badomensls

@hoe-for-daddywise @philomenie @xxkittenkissesxx @venturethroughtheveil @thefallennightmare

@blend-in-with-the-madness @reyadawn @deathblacksmoke @anameunmusical @sitkowski

@anything-more-than-human @into-the-grey @amelia-acero @rumoured-whispers @artificialbreezy

#burning out fanfic #sorrows of silence #bad omens #noah sebastian #bad omens cult #bad omens band #noah sebastian davis #metalcore #noah sebastian fluff #noah sebastian smut #nicholas ruffilo #crime #criminals #money heist #heist

152 notes · View notes

sorrowsofsilence · 7 months

Text

Burning out • VI

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Fem!Reader

I was lost, but now I'm found Under the lights and in the sounds So let us sing and sing it loud That we're not perfect, but we're proud of who we are.

Noah Sebastian is lost. His crime-filled lifestyle is anything but perfect; but everything changes once he meets you.

Words: 6.4k

Warnings: 18+, explicit language, mentions of drugs and alcohol/drinking

Authors note: Chapter Six - An Omen is 20mg (EDITED: 09-03-24)

new? start from chapter one here

I watched as her lashes touched the tops of her cheeks, her eyebrows releasing tension from the day, lips parted gently as sleep took over.

My eyes danced across her features, completely captivated. Y/N breathed slowly, and my hand subconsciously reached over, tucking a strand of loose hair behind her ear as I endeared over her.

“you’re my saving grace,” I whispered as I stroked her hair, still completely baffled this was all happening.

Destruction. Crime. Greed.

That is why we live like heathens That is why we live like heathens That is why we live like heathens

+++++

Silence. There was no sound.

The house had an eerie vibe, with its dark and damp interior. Her heart raced as she stood in the unknown stillness. The silence only added to her fear, causing her to carefully make her way towards the kitchen. She reached for a knife from the drawer, trying not to make any noise.

Although she wanted to call out for her parents, she was too scared of what may be lurking within the house. She then moved towards the staircase, her eyes fixed on the steps and hesitant to take the first one. But before she could move, there was a loud crash from the back door- whatever or whoever was inside was now leaving.

Her body surged with adrenaline as she sprinted towards the back door, dropping the knife along the way. She pushed open the unlocked door and saw a figure running towards the field behind her backyard. Without thinking, she screamed at the top of her lungs, her throat burning from the force of her cry. Another surge of energy pulsed through her and she ran after the figure into the darkness of the forest.

During her sprint, she stumbled and fell hard onto the grassy ground, knocking all of the breath out of her body. After catching her breath, she stood up and looked into the darkness ahead. Once again, there was nothing but silence.

The figure was unknown to her, but a wave of dread washed over her as she ran back towards the house. "Mom!" She cried out desperately, her voice bouncing off the walls and chipped paint. With determination, she climbed the stairs using both her hands and feet, adrenaline pushing her forward toward what she knew would be grief.

Her mother's name escaped her lips once more, even though she already knew that the woman's ears could not hear it. Reaching the landing, she made a sharp turn, almost slipping on the rug beneath her feet. She grabbed onto the wall for support and continued shuffling towards her mother's bedroom, tears already forming in her eyes.

"Mom!" The door was wide open, and as soon as she turned the corner, she saw the scene before her. She stumbled backwards, hitting the wall with a thud, cries pouring out of her mouth as she slid down in anguish. Sobs turned into screams of trauma and pain.

The satin sheets were already soaked with blood, and her mother's lifeless eyes stared back at her in horror. She lay across the bed in a mangled mess, bullet wounds revealing the tragic end of her life.

As tears blurred her vision, the girl frantically searched for her father but found only the figure lying limp in the corner. The once pristine wallpaper now coated in burgundy splatters left the girl frozen with fear as tears streamed down her face and she struggled to catch her breath.

She was only thirteen.

+++++

Y/N

I woke up thrashing against Noah’s grasp on my bed, my throat burning from the guttural screams that fled from my mouth. Through ringing ears, the tears poured from my memory-stained eyes as I pushed against his cage, fear engulfing me.

“Y/N!” Noah yelled, arms and legs enveloping me protectively, audible sobs erupting from my chest. The images flashed in my mind as I relived them, feeling like I was back there at that moment.

I try to stay calm Focus on my breath It’s like I drown In a sea of sand

“Y/N, I’m here!” Noah screamed, his heart pounding against me with adrenaline and worry, unsure what was going on. With his arms wrapped around my chest Noah pleaded for me to stop.

I pushed against him again, trying to break free from his grasp. He squeezed me close, shushing me as I sat between his limbs, resisting my attempts to pull away. My bedroom door burst open as Nicholas barged through the doorway, holding it open with an arm as his chest heaved, watching with wide eyes.

“What the fuck is happening?” He watched as Noah stared back with fearful eyes, shaking his head with uncertainty.

“Dude I have no idea, I just woke up to her screaming bloody murder,” Noah panted, looking down at me, trying to place his head on top of my own to comfort me.

Nicholas bit his fingernail anxiously, unsure what to do as he watched the scene unfold. Another set of footsteps dan up the stairs and Nick joined, peaking his head from behind Nicholas.

“Is everything ok?” He asked, stepping into the room.

I continued to cry into Noah’s bare chest, my vocal cords straining from the screams. Noah rocked our bodies back and forth as my wailing slowed, sobs replaced with staggered inhales.

My cheek pressed against Noah’s warm skin as he began rubbing small circles on my back, sheltering me with a tenderness I’d never felt from anyone before.

Everything’s black Everything’s cold A second is a new thought for me

“What happened?” Noah whispered after a moment, placing his mouth on my forehead gently as he spoke against me with delicate lips. My fists clenched, knuckles turning white from the hold.

“I-” I mumbled, staring at the floor as I began to zone out in shock, “The pills, they usually he-help.”

“Help what?” Noah asked, lifting his free hand to stroke his fingers through my hair, nails gently skimming across my scalp. The sensation sent shivers across my arms, Noah’s touch relaxing me as I sighed anxiously, pressing myself into his inviting body.

I sniffed, coughing on the saliva that built in my throat from my sobs, “The nightmares. I barely sleep because of them. I-” I squeezed my eyes shut as I winced, “I always have dreams about finding my parent’s bodies.”

Noah's breath hitched as he swallowed hard, his hand still gently rubbing circles on my back. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Nicholas approached us slowly and sat on the edge of the bed. He gave me a reassuring closed-mouth smile. "We're here for you if you need to talk. It can help to get things off your chest."

I looked into Nicholas' warm silver-grey eyes, feeling comforted by their inviting gaze. I took a deep breath and blinked away tears before nodding. With some effort, I pulled myself away from Noah's embrace as he reluctantly released me.

I wiped my eyes with the bottom of my palms, taking a deep breath and looking at Noah as my lip trembled in grief, “I’m so sorry.”

1 life I won’t miss 2 pills I will take 3 hours of bliss 4 more I’m in hell 5 days I’m asleep 6 that I’m insane I don’t wanna feel the pain

Noah tilted his head as his shoulders fell with empathy, his ochre eyes filling with anguish as he watched me, “You have nothing to apologize for, it just scared us. Scared me.”

Noah's gaze shifted towards Nicholas before he turned to Nick, who had made himself comfortable by sitting on the carpeted floor with his legs crossed, pulling his knees up to his chest. Nick's head slumped as he fought off sleep, his arms resting on his knees and hands clasped together. I avoided looking at them and instead focused on my blanket, picking at the fabric nervously as I struggled to hold back the tears that were threatening to spill over. My mind was racing as I tried to figure out where to start.

“Um, so,” I started, mouth quivering, “I found my parents murdered when I was thirteen.”

Noah reached over to me with an open palm. I hesitated for a moment before placing my hand on top of his own. His thumb rubbed gently over my fingers as he silently encouraged me to keep going.

“I-I remember it was an evening I had soccer practice. I walked home because my parents never came to pick me up,” My eyebrows furrowed as I stared at the floor blankly, the three pairs of eyes watching me with curiosity.

“I assumed they had forgotten to get me. They were out, attending an important dinner with my uncle, so I didn’t think much of it,” I sniffed, my free hand picking at the fabric of my satin sheets, “but when I got home, the front door was wide open and all the lights were out. I had a weird feeling and I knew something was wrong, and I knew I wasn’t alone.”

I felt their gaze burning into me to continue. None of the boys moved a muscle.

“Someone was in the house,” I shuddered, recalling the memory, “and I chased after them, but they disappeared. I knew that whoever was in there had done something. I knew my parents were dead then.”

Tears pricked the corners of my eyes, threatening to fall as I sucked in a shaky breath, the pitch of my voice shifting, “I walked up the stairs, and my parents were lying in their room.”

I closed my eyes with gritted teeth, the tears slowly trailing down my cheeks, “there was so much blood. My dad’s face was barely recognizable because of the gunshot wound.”

I began crying again at the image, my shoulders shuddering through my full-body episode.

“My mother’s eyes were still open,” I wailed, “she looked so scared, even when dead.”

The Nicks stared at me in horror, my words digging into them.

“Jesus Christ.” Through blurry vision I watched as Jolly leaned on the frame, his hand rubbing across his forehead.

I have a fear for living Cause I don’t wanna be a fuckin mess I relive in my nightmares Cause it’s the only way I can rest

Noah leaned forward, grabbing both sides of my face as he stared at me with complete agony.

His thumbs swiped underneath my eyes and across my cheeks, smearing the tears into my skin.

My body shook through my exhale and Noah pulled me into him once again, sitting me on his lap as he slowly swayed our bodies.

My ocean is made of dust And I’ve been dying here of thirst It’s like I’m diving in the mud Every time I try to reach for the worst

“I’m so sorry Y/N,” Noah whispered into my ear as he took a deep breath, sighing into my hair.

“Do you know who did it?” Nicholas asked.

I shook my head in sorrow, “it ended as a cold case. They couldn’t find any evidence-”

I then shrugged, “Or they stopped looking.”

Noah squeezed me reassuringly, and I nuzzled into him, feeling safe within his arms.

“I can’t sleep without those pills,” I said, and all the boys turned towards my gaze, looking at the yellow bottle that unknowingly taunted them, “They help me sleep, the other ones I take help the nightmares. Lately, it hasn’t been working.”

I’m not OK, I’m not the same My head’s screaming but I’m standing still Trapped in a lie that’s made of drugs I pray inside someone breaks my sleep

I felt Noah’s warm breath tickle down my neck as he held me, “I’m the one who found my dad’s body.”

My limbs stiffened at his words.

They tell me I should live Tell me I should care Tell me I should move But I don't feel safe here

Noah spoke softly, "Those images never leave you. They become the last memory you have of someone, whether you want them to or not." I closed my eyes and buried my face in his chest again, holding onto him tightly as if he was the only thing keeping me from falling apart.

"It's horrible," I whispered. "I know," Noah replied, and we sat in silence for a moment, finding comfort in each other's presence.

"What time is it?" I asked as I pulled away from Noah and reached for my phone. "Oh no," my eyes widened as I realized I was supposed to start work in fifteen minutes. I scrambled out of bed, searching frantically for my clothes from the day before.

"Bye guys," I waved awkwardly at the boys who were still staring at me. Jolly immediately turned around and left, followed by the Nicks. Noah's gaze lingered on me for a moment before he too turned to give me privacy.

I hastily got dressed and tied my hair up in a messy bun. As I looked at myself in the mirror, I cringed at how swollen and red my eyes were from crying all night. But there was no time to fix that now.

Turning towards Noah, unsure of what to do next, I said, "I need to go." Should I hug him goodbye? Would that be weird? Would it be wrong not to? We stood there, silently communicating through unspoken words until he finally stood up and grabbed his clothes from my vanity.

My eyes wanted to roam over his exposed body, taking in every inch of his tattoos, but I resisted the urge and focused on getting ready to leave.

“Are you sure you’re okay to go to work?” Noah asked as he pulled his shirt over his head, tucking his hair behind his ears. He is beautiful.

I nodded, hesitating for a moment before grabbing him, pulling and absorbing him into a hug. Noah immediately rested his chin on the top of my head, squeezing me against him.

“Thank you,” I murmured, “For everything.”

Noah’s chest heaved as I let go, swinging my bag over my shoulders.

I gave him a small smile, “I’ll see you later. Don’t burn the place down.”

Noah’s breathy laugh was the last I heard as I ran down the stairs, slipping on my sneakers.

Nicholas was waiting by the door, Juice spiralling between his legs.

“You going to be alright?” He asked as he bent down to pick up Juice, cradling him in his arms.

I nodded reassuringly, smiling at him, “I’ve had many nights like this, and I’ve always got through it.”

+++++

NOAH

I let out a deep sigh, my hands rubbing against my tired face as I heard the front door shut. My heart ached for her as I saw so much of myself reflected in her struggles.

Ever since that day, I couldn't get the image of my father's lifeless body hanging from the garage ceiling out of my mind. It gave me nightmares and traumatized me, and even now, the pain still lingers. That event tore my world apart.

But lately, it's been my own life that frightens me more.

I've become what I feared the most.

As I finished getting dressed, my thoughts turned to the pills. With guilt gnawing at me, I glanced over to her desk - but quickly looked away when I noticed the bottle was no longer there.

“You looking for something?”

My brows furrowed as I turned towards Y/N’s door.

Folio entered her room quietly, closing the door gently behind him, twisting the knob to make as little sound as possible.

“What would I be looking for?” I asked, folding my arms across my chest defensively.

Nick rolled his eyes as he pulled his hand out from behind his back. The contents of the bottle shook as he opened his palm in front of me, revealing Y/N’s Zolpidem.

I ground my teeth as I confronted Nick, "What were you thinking, man? Why did you take them?"

"For money," he replied nonchalantly, giving me a contemptuous look. He waved the pills in front of me, urging me to take them.

I kept my hand firmly by my side, trying to decide between Nick's offer and the fear that gripped me. My heart pounded loudly in my chest.

"You can sell those for almost a thousand bucks," he added with a smirk.

I scoffed at his suggestion, my voice rising with anger. "Why would I betray her trust like that? Did you not just witness what I did?"

"Shh, keep your voice down," Nick growled, grabbing my hand and placing the pills on my palm.

I couldn't help but laugh. "Why? She's not even here."

"Because Nicholas actually cares about her," Folio interjected, closing my hand around the plastic bag. "Do you?"

This is the end time out of my bed It’s like I’m tryna ride an avalanche

And if time is the key then I locked myself into my own black hole

His last question rang in my ears as I looked at the contents in my hold. I twirled the case between my fingers as my eyes closed in contemplation, a breath of anguish escaping my lips through the inward conflict. Do you?

Of course, I do. I was in way too fucking deep already.

You are not a saviour if you’re telling me it’s just a phase You’re a motherfucker if you’re telling me it’s just a phase

Y/N would be broken if I took them. She needs them, clearly.

She also offered us a place to stay; I couldn’t betray her any more than I already had… but how was I supposed to get all the money by myself?

I looked at Nick as my thoughts battled.

How am I supposed to look at her again? If I do this, how will I face her again?

“I can’t do it Nick,” I closed my eyes torment, holding the bottle back toward him; but my fingers never let go.

“We’ve been at this for seven years Noah. You’ll meet another Y/N.”

His words caused my chest to ache. I don’t think I’ll meet anyone like Y/N again.

“Sell them. These, and whatever fucking else you missed out on the first night you were here,” Nick exclaimed.

“She took us in,” I almost pleaded.

“And she’s amazing for that, but you need to think about us. We are so close to being free.”

I groaned in frustration, “Fuck!”

“Make copies of the pills if you’re so worried about her then,” Nick sighed, rubbing his fingers into his eyes in annoyance, “replace them with sugar pills so she doesn’t think they’re missing.”

I bit my lip as a tinge of hope budded in my chest, attempting to push past the guilt. If she doesn’t know the pills are missing, then she wouldn’t hate me…and I could still make enough money.

You need to fuckin hear me now

“That’s a great idea- but where the hell am I supposed to get pills that look the same?” I said. What kind of monster am I for actually considering this?

No one, no one will bring me down

“Get some vitamins or some shit from the pharmacy, it’s not that hard. She could use some vitamin A or some iron or shit. Whatever.” Nick shrugged, leaning his back against the door.

“Maybe you should rob one of the pharmacies?” Nick suggested.

I shook my head, “Too risky. There are cameras.”

“I know there’s a small pharmacy in Chinatown on Thirteenth Street. It’s super old, so the cameras may only be outside,” Nick watched me with careful eyes, “Drugs are the way to make cash.”

“I’ll give you the number of one of Jolly’s old dealers. I’m sure he can hook you up with a decent price.”

Nick was right. There was no way I was going to make enough cash by breaking into houses and stealing shit.

I left that afternoon, carrying all of Y/N’s pill bottles towards a pharmacy in the middle of town. Guilt ate me alive as I opened the door.

There was no turning back now.

I found various vitamins that looked similar enough to her pills. Grabbing all of them I went up to the counter, paying the cashier.

“Vitamin deficient?” She laughed, trying to make a joke.

I hummed in reply while she scanned the items, avoiding her gaze out of fear that she could see through me. I paid quickly, snatching my change from her hand. My palms were already sweaty with anticipation as I asked, "Uh, can I use the bathroom?" She narrowed her eyes at my nervous behaviour but still handed me the bag and pointed towards the back left corner. Giving her a brief smile, even though it felt forced, I made my way to the bathroom and locked the door behind me. Leaning against the wall, defeated, I slid down to sit on the cool tile floor. This was a terrible idea. How could I have done this to her?

I’m not ok, I’m not the same My head’s screaming but I’m standing still

My leg bounced nervously as my stomach churned. I opened my backpack, grabbing ziplock bags that were labelled with each drug’s name and how much was in each pill.

Spilling the containments into the appropriate bags, I began replacing the pills with the vitamin look likes, filling the capsule with lies and deceit.

How long would this placebo last before she found out?

I put the bottles back into my bag and made sure they were secure. My head hung low, and I tried to hold back the tears of shame that threatened to spill over. I shoved the plastic bags into my cargo pants before standing up and looking at myself in the bathroom mirror. I gripped the edges of the sink, feeling the tension build as I stared at my reflection and the white ceramic bowl beneath it. Angry thoughts raced through my mind as my chest rose and fell rapidly, and I squeezed my eyes shut. It was all D's fault; if our lives weren't in danger, I wouldn't have to resort to this.

My life. Jolly’s. Ruffilo’s. Folio’s.

Y/N’s wasn’t- not because of D.

But because of me.

Why am I screwing her over, when I know how she doesn’t deserve it?

I turned the handles of the sink, letting the water fill the bowl as I splashed myself, trying to pull myself out of my delusion.

I needed to do this, I was so close to being done. I could make it up to her if she’d still take me. If she finds out.

The angel on my shoulder told me not to do this.

The devil reminded me of my pain.

I left the bathroom, walking past the aisles of products.

Trapped in a lie that’s made of drugs I pray inside, pray

“Have a good da-” The woman at the counter got cut off as I slammed the store door, my breath heaving as I marched down the sidewalk. Dark grisly clouds covered the sky, rolling in as they carried the beginning of a storm.

That I’m not alone, that you realize Sometimes a word could save a life

I stared straight ahead, eyes resentful and broken through the wind. There was no going back. Destruction.

I’m not okay, I’m not the same

My phone buzzed as I turned the corner.

Folio: He says he’ll meet you in the ally right before the pier

Me: Got it

Folio: Did you bring your mask? Gloves?

Me: Yep.

As I walked I swung my backpack around, grabbing the leather gloves and mask. Raindrops began falling from the sky in an uneven pattern. Shoving the mask in my sweater pocket I threw my hood over the top of my head. My legs carried me determined toward the alleyway before the pier, chest aching.

I chewed the inside of my cheek in remorse, resisting the urge to draw blood from the skin, knowing the sensation would distract me from my racing mind. I didn’t deserve to be distracted. I needed to feel everything.

Folio: Stay safe Noah. Don’t fuck it up.

Shit I don’t know where I wake up I might still be in a bad dream, a dark dream

As I approached the ally way I ducked between cars, pulling my black ski mask over my head, concealing my identity.

Silence is healthy violence, and I became deaf, I became drunk with my sorrows Alone in the night and 20 milli’

I walked between the brick buildings, small puddles forming between the cracks of cement. The ashy scent embedded around me as the dampened pavement absorbed the sky’s tears.

I lost my feet in the dark water that takes me towards Lucifer, hell

I stood behind one of the garbage bins, head snapping forward and back as I looked around for the man who would do my bidding.

“Name?”

My eyes squinted through the rain as a man in a yellow balaclava turned from a hidden corner, approaching me slowly.

“Who sent you?” I asked, knowing better than to answer first.

The man chuckled at my mistrust, stopping a few feet away from me, “Folio.”

“Good,” I nodded, reaching into my cargo pants, and pulling out the baggies, “Sebastian.”

He nodded, giving me a grin. My eyes immediately noticed the sheen from his teeth, the set of grills layered on the bottom reflecting the remaining light that shone through the clouds.

“What do you have to offer?” He asked, taking a step forward.

“40mg of Adderall, almost full bottle; 8mg of Zolpidem; half bottle; and 12mg of diazepam, almost full bottle,” I held out the bags. Crime.

He eyed them for a moment before smiling at me, “So where are the bottles then?”

I sighed, reaching into my backpack to pull out the plastic, and his eyes widened.

“You have more?” He asked.

I shook my head, “No. These are filled with vitamins now.” I handed him the bottle to inspect the packaging, showing that they were legitimate.

The man hummed, “Sly dog. Smart move,” he spun the bottle between his fingers, reading the label, “sucks to be whoever Y/N Y/L/N is.”

I felt my brows clench as a snarl grew on my face, angry that he used her name aloud.

“Let me check the real pills,” He nodded towards the bags, handing me back the bottle of placebos.

The masked man pulled out a small box from his pocket, pulling out a vial of fluid and some paper strips.

I scoffed, rolling my eyes, “You have a testing kit? Out here?”

He laughed, “Well, when you’ve been in this business for as long as I have, you have the proper tools.”

“Fair enough,” I shrugged, “They’re prescription, so they aren’t laced with shit.”

He nodded, “I believe you, but I’m still gonna check.”

The man opened one capsule from each bag, mixing the smallest amount into the solution he held before placing a drop on each testing strip. After a few moments, the strips changed colour and he smiled, the gold within his mouth flashing.

“It’s pure,” He said, rummaging through his bag before pulling out a wad of cash, “How does 2,200 sound?”

I had to hold my mouth shut, the price leaving me shocked, “Y-yea. That’s great.”

I held out my hand as he gave me the money, my fingers running across the top before placing it in my pocket.

“If you can get me more like this, I’ll up the price next time,” The man said, holding his hand out, waiting for me to accept his transaction, “People pay good money for pure shit.”

Next time.

I wrapped my gloved fingers around his own, sealing the deal of Greed.

“Folio will give you my number,” He said, pulling away.

“What can I call you?” I asked as I turned around, preparing to walk away.

“Vincent.” He said, grinning again as I listened to his footsteps splash against the puddles as he departed, “See ya, Sebastian, pleasure doing business.”

I got back to Y/N’s quickly, rushing up the stairs and heading straight for the medicine cabinet in the bathroom, placing the faux pills back in their designated spots. Fabricated homes.

As I closed the cabinet my heart almost fell out of my chest, Nicholas standing right at the bathroom door.

“What are you doing?” He asked, folding his arms.

“Uh-” I said, out of breath, “Nothing.”

“You sold them didn’t you?” Nicholas frowned, running his fingers along his brows in disappointment.

“I had to,” I explained, facing him.

He shook his head, “You couldn’t find drugs anywhere else? She gave us her home.”

“Maybe she shouldn’t have been so trusting,” I said, staring at the laminate flooring beneath my feet.

Nicholas scoffed, “Oh, so you’re going to blame her?”

I peered into his eyes as we battled silently, both our bodies stiff as we exchanged opinions.

“You’re going to regret it, Noah.”

“Yea, no shit,” I muttered, “But the twenty-two hundred bucks I got will be worth it.”

Nicholas’ eyes widened for a second before he stared at me angrily again, “Will it?”

I watched him, my fists clenching.

“Will it be worth it when you lose her?”

I gritted my teeth as he spoke.

“Will it be worth it when you have nothing, again?”

“Why do you care?” I yelled, my voice raising as my frustration grew. Ruffilo’s words were right; he was right.

His eyes softened as he turned, letting me out of the bathroom. I pushed my shoulder into him as I slid past his body, walking down the stairs.

“Noah,” Nicholas called out after me before following me, “It matters because I haven’t seen you light up around someone like that in years. If ever.”

I turned around to face him at the bottom of the stairs.

“I-I barely know her!” I said angrily.

“Do you not see how you look at her? Do you not see how you fucking held her this morning? Someone who doesn’t care, wouldn’t do that. You gave her your everything.”

My heart clenched, avoiding his gaze and words, “She doesn’t need to know. I’ll tell her when I’ve paid off our debt.”

“And when the pills don’t work?” He laughed, shoulders lifting as he threw his hands up in the air.

Anger Sadness Laughter Madness

“I don’t know!” I raised my voice again, mimicking his actions.

“She is already completely whipped for you-” Nicholas said quietly, his posture softening.

I looked away again, running my fingers behind my neck.

“-and you’re already wrapped around her finger.”

We are one step away from total decay Slipping Falling Closer to biting the concrete We are one step away You can't call this living

“I’m not the good guy,” I gazed up at my brother, his eyes saddening at my words.

I exhaled heavily as I walked toward the basement door, heading down to meet Jolly and Folio in the basement, signalling the end of my conversation.

Nicholas was the voice of reason, but I was too far gone to listen.

Jolly and Folio were jamming when I reached the bottom, the sound of a drumset being smashed leaving me confused.

“Hey,” Jolly nodded towards me, stopping mid-strum on the guitar. Folio hit the symbol one last time before he waved, sat in the corner in front of a shitty drumset that was barely holding together.

“The hell is this?” I tilted my head. The guitar Jolly was using was plugged into a beat-up amp.

I peered around the room, noticing two other blow-up mattresses and run-down decor.

“You’ve been busy,” I said, nodding at everything. They were making this place home.

“So have you,” Nick said, kicking the bass drum excitedly, “How much did he give you?”

“Who gives who what?” Jolly questioned, eying the both of us.

I sat on one of the mattresses, resting my elbows on my knees, “Vincent. Twenty-two hundred.”

“You knew?” Nicholas said frustrated in a causative tone as he eyed Folio.

“He needs the money Ruffilo,” Nick said annoyed, twirling the drumstick between his fingers.

“Yea, by robbing someone else, not Y/N.” Nicholas defended, “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you. Don’t you feel bad?”

Walk the line and pray to your master Ball and chain, a slave to disaster

Folio hit the bass drum again, avoiding the question.

“So you sold her meds after all?” Jolly nodded in contemplation. I couldn’t tell whether he approved or not.

“Replaced with vitamins so she doesn’t notice,” I mumbled, my head handing in shame.

Walk the line and pray to your master Ball and chain, a slave to disaster This is an omen, a warning, a lesson to take So listen to the words that I say

Jolly began picking at the strings, “what were the lyrics you sang the other day?” He asked.

My eyebrows pinched together, “What?”

“In the motel? Something something, I see through you,” He said, shaking his head, “Devil or God?”

“I see through you, I know what you are,” I said slowly, “I've seen the Devil more than I've seen God.”

Jolly hummed, strumming on the guitar, “Cover your ears and shut your eyes,”

I stared at him, eyes squinting in animosity. What was he doing?

“Because what I'm about to say is gonna ruin your night.”

I watched him as he strummed, and Folio began hitting a beat.

“You've dug your grave and you have no one but yourself to blame.”

Animosity shifted to anger, “What are you doing?”

“Songwriting,” Jolly shook his head at me.

“But by the way, I agree with Nicholas.”

Hours later Y/N came home between shifts, shuffling down the stairs in excitement once she heard music.

“What!” She exclaimed excitedly, looking at the setup we created, “You guys make music?”

She sat next to me on the mattress, crossing her legs as she watched with adoration. She turned to smile at me, and I gave her a curt grin before looking down.

Her smile was radiant, and the look of complete awe she gave me left me crumbling. What have I done?

Danger Caution Proceed Slowly I am one step away from losing my sanity

“We’ve always just dabbled,” Nicholas said excitedly as he set the bass down, “but we went to the thrift store to find some mattresses and found the drum set and amp.”

“Well,” Y/N looked at all of us, “If you’re looking to make money, I know Sammy’s is trying to find bands who are willing to play live music.”

“I wouldn’t consider us a band,” Jolly laughed, “But extra income that Noah could use? I’m down.”

“Could we do like covers n’ shit? We don’t exactly have any original songs,” Folio said.

Y/N nodded eagerly, “Oh yeah, I’m sure that's not an issue at all.”

“How much would we make?” Ruffilo asked.

“I think like three hundred to five hundred,” She shrugged, “But I can confirm at work tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow?” I piped up, still looking at the floor, “Do you have tonight off?”

“Yeah, it’s quite nice. I’m exhausted,” She laughed quietly.

She looked over at me now, and I did everything I could to fight her gaze- but I cracked, facing her. Her eyes bore into mine with yearning, my stomach clenching as she spoke.

“Want to watch a movie?” We didn’t watch a movie.

As we lay in her bed I held her head firmly in place, her lips wrapped around my desire, mouth sliding up and down. I watched her with lustful eyes as her hand held the rest of me, tongue swirling around the tip as she stroked.

Slipping Falling Closer to places that I should not be

“Get on your knees,” the command left me in a throaty plea.

I am one step away, annihilate everything

Y/N obliged and I stood up, gazing down at her with my eyes half-closed as she knelt before me, vulnerable and at my mercy. Her lips closed around me once more, her tongue caressing my skin with elegance and finesse. My hips instinctively began to move in rhythm with her mouth, thrusting gently as my hands tangled in her hair for support.

Desperate for more, I pulled her closer until she gagged on my body, unable to resist the urge to dominate her. She met my gaze through her long lashes, the intensity of our eye contact only adding to the pleasure coursing through me. With a sudden burst of passion, she pushed herself even closer before pulling away, leaving behind a trail of saliva on my skin. I was on the brink of climax just from watching her, and the smirk playing on her lips made it clear that she knew exactly how much control she had over me.

Walk the line and pray to your master (Embrace the disease) Ball and chain, a slave to disaster (Have I just been dreaming?)

“Fuck,” a breathy laugh left me as I looked down in awe with a lopsided grin.

“Such a good girl,” I pulled her closer to my pelvis as I hit the back of her throat and thrust forward.

She pulled away, smiling at my praise as she wrapped her fingers around me, rotating her wrist before sucking against my skin again, “Anything for you.” She closed her eyes again, but I needed her.

Have I just been dreaming?

“look at me, show me those pretty eyes while I fuck your mouth,” I demanded and her lashes flicked up towards me, my body shuddering as she stared into me with complete greed.

I observed her every move, heavy pants heaving from my chest as I groaned deeply, my body close to its release.

Walk the line and pray to your master Ball and chain, a slave to disaster

“Fuck,” my stomach clenched as my body began to twitch, her lips sucking harder as she took all of me.

This is an omen, a warning, a lesson to take So listen to the words that I say

I moaned as she slid down one more time and I gripped her hair, holding her still. I filled her tongue as threads of my release coated the back of her throat. The sight below me left my legs shaking as I pulled away, tucking her hair behind her ears, and rubbing my fingers underneath her chin in endearment.

What have I done?

“Good girls swallow,” I whispered and she moaned.

“Open,” I said, watching in complete reverence as she stuck out her tongue, showing me that she obeyed, drinking in all of me.

I leaned down towards her, pulling her chin up to kiss me as I melted into her lips, sighing with commitment.

What have I done?

Chapter 7

Tags: @crimson-calligraphyx @lma1986 @spicywhenspeaking @sammyjoeee @shilohrosechicken

@princessmarshmallowx @laurpartyprogram @cookiesupplier @nojoyontheburn @lacktoesandtoddlerant

@veronicaphoenix @er3nslovergirl @cncohshit @scrumptiousfestivalpost @melcchs

@flowery-mess @mentallynot-here @judging-from-afar @darkmxgician @badomensls

@hoe-for-daddywise @philomenie @xxkittenkissesxx @venturethroughtheveil @thefallennightmare

@blend-in-with-the-madness @reyadawn @deathblacksmoke @anameunmusical @sitkowski

@anything-more-than-human @into-the-grey @amelia-acero @rumoured-whispers @artificialbreezy

#burning out fanfic #sorrows of silence #bad omens #noah sebastian #bad omens cult #bad omens band #noah sebastian davis #metalcore #noah sebastian fanfiction #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian fanfic #bad omens fanfiction #heist #criminals

131 notes · View notes