#cue panics

[hypewinter]

I've had a brainworm for a few days now so here me out.

After an accidental reveal gone wrong, Danny is forced to flee the country with both his parents and the giw after him. While he's trying to find some place internationally to settle down, he comes across a secluded complex.

Said complex happens to have access to an ectoplasm run off which Danny is in desperate need of. Though it has been corrupted by whatever the people of the complex have been doing to it, that's no problem for Danny as he can easily purify the portion he takes in to survive.

Deciding this is the perfect place to live off the grid, Danny sets to work figuring out how to blend in. It turns out that's the easy part. With his temporary stint as a ninja, his training with his black belt mom, and his general ghost physiology, he fits in pretty well.

He fits in so well in fact that he is told he'll be training someone one of the head bosses has their eye on. A kid his age.

Basically what follows is Danny accidentally ruining Talia's plans for Jason by unconsciously purifying his corruption and just talking him through his emotions. When Jason gets back to Gotham, he returns without a clouded mentally and realizes just how much Bruce went through after his death.

Instead of unleashing his complicated plan, he quietly takes over the underworld. He loves his father but also knows there are situations in Gotham that require a more firm hand. Jason decides to be a firm hand in his dad's place.

(I imagine he is only revealed on accident yet his reunion with his family is just as dramatic as Under the Red Hood. Tbh it probably has something to do with the joker suddenly going missing.)

Meanwhile back at the League of Assassins, Talia is impressed by Jason's training and is under the impression that his failure in Gotham is due to him getting cold feet at the last second so she puts Danny in charge of Damian's training.

Danny this time takes a more conscious role in ruining the league's brainwashing by challenging Damian's beliefs and teaching him he should use his weapons to protect, not to harm. By the time Damian gets to Wayne Manor, there is significantly less deprogramming that needs to be done.

[brogurt]

i am only on part 15 but every episode feels like this:

[lesbicosmos]

edwin: don't tell me the bag of tricks is gone.

charles: okay.

edwin: well, where is it?

charles: you told me not to tell you!

[methoughtsphantom]

AU where tim drake can sense dead people so when the red hood makes his debut in gotham he’s very curious about the guy who should be dead by all accounts

robin, sleep deprived: how are you here

jason, who had such a shitty patrol he doesn’t even question why the new robin is here in his safehouse: what?

robin, shrugging because in his mind he is just talking to a random crime lord: i’m just asking, you are supposed to be dead

jason:

jason: how the fuck

[whack-patty]

still burnt out as FRICK so im using all my art braincells for schoolwork. so sorry to all those requests im slowly catching up on but here's this scribbly scroobbly Chilchuck i did for a hw warmup today

[akirathedramaqueen]

The Five Stages Of Grief: Verosika vs. Stolas

Alright, guys, it's time to play the complete denial card and ignore for a moment what we've just seen in the last short Viv dropped like a fucking nuke on our heads (seriously, this woman makes me swear more than a sailor).

Are we going to talk about something light? Ha-ha, you are looking at the angstiest person out here. Sorry. No relief for you.

But maybe some bits of analysis will do? Let's go.

The setup

Some time ago, I discussed how differently Stolas and Verosika react to their breakup with Blitz in response to one of my previous posts (it might be useful to read that to have the whole picture, but it's not crucial—here).

S2EP9, Apology Tour, 8:05

If we recap that reblog, I find that Stolas deals with his emotions much better and processes them in a more mature manner than Verosika does.

We could stop there, really, but I wanted to explore the situation from a different angle. Using the Kübler-Ross five stages of grief model, we can pull out more nuance from their actions and words.

They both went through a similar traumatic event—Blitzø hurt them in arguably one of the worst ways possible. The circumstances, Blitzø's intentions, and the outcomes are slightly different, but at their core, they are both left broken and deeply wounded.

Left: S2EP8, The Full Moon, 22:00 Right: S2EP9, Apology Tour, 18:03

So, what about their personalities makes their responses to trauma so contrasting?

Disclaimer about the model's credibility

This is probably me being overly pedantic, but I want to point out that this model is deemed to be popularized by the media, and professionals’ opinions are conflicted—some say it is accurate while others criticize it for its lack of flexibility or go as far as to say it has no application in real life. The studies are also inconclusive—there are papers both in favor of and against this model.

What am I trying to say here? This is a silly analysis about silly demons from a silly show, and if you do happen to unfortunately experience grief in any way (I am so sorry you have to go through this!), it is essentially experienced by all people differently. You should not feel bad if you skip stages or if their order is messed up.

Okay? <3 Okay. You’ve got this in your own way.

Tomorrow will be better than today.

Stolas: A Classic Way

One of the things I noted in my previous post is that Stolas immediately recognizes the pettiness of the party, and I praised his remarkable ability to see through the issues with such events.

The one day a year the spirits can rise amongst the living and it's spent celebrating mutual pettiness. S2EP9, Apology Tour, 6:55

And don’t get me wrong—his own way of dealing with problems is just drinking them away, and that’s not healthy. That’s why he actually belongs at this party.

But emotionally, Stolas is much more aware of what’s going on with him and the people around him. I think that despite his drinking problem, this awareness helps him process his own grief faster and find resolution—or at least an outlet—in just one night.

Let’s apply the five stages of grief model to him and see what’s going on.

Denial

You can see the denial seeping through during their morning conversation—there are moments when he clearly hopes Blitzø will suddenly listen to him and change his demeanor, despite Blitzø being consistent in his brashness and hostility.

Left: S2EP9, Apology Tour, 3:56 Right: S2EP9, Apology Tour, 4:23

Can you see the hope in his eyes? Can you see how ready he would be to brush off the whole shitshow happened between them just for Blitzø to take at least a bit of accountability or accept his feelings?

Additionally, although it doesn’t fit the term perfectly, we could stretch the concept a bit and say that the following lyrics below are somewhat denialish. Notice, by the way, that it’s not linear to the suggested model—you’ll see why later.

But I, I keep on waiting Waiting to want you less than I do And I do, oh, I do, yes I still do want you S2EP9, Apology Tour, 11:08

'Cause I am not a thief, but you were mine to earn S2EP9, Apology Tour, 11:42

He struggles to accept that the relationship has ended (we struggle too, baby owl, and we're not accepting it… but it gets worse before it gets better), and he still waits for Blitzø to return, maintaining a possessive feeling—“you were mine to earn.”

Anger

Stolas's anger is vastly different from Verosika's—I promise to elaborate on it later.

He uses his anger throughout the morning confrontation with Blitzø to protect himself from Blitzø's attacks and futile attempts to retain the status quo. His anger serves to assert that he is done with the transactional arrangement and Blitzø's behavior.

As shocking as this might seem, Blitzø, I don't think I'm in the mood to "do sex" with you. In fact, I don't think I'm even in the mood to do words with you! So, how about you respect that? S2EP9, Apology Tour, 0:57

[Stolas]: Get out. Right now! [Blitzø]: What?! [Stolas]: I'm tired of this! I'm uncomfortable how you're speaking to me now! S2EP9, Apology Tour, 2:24

And all of this happens just the night after that disastrous full moon meeting! Stolas is pissed off, and rightfully so. But he still gives Blitzø the chance to correct his behavior, explain, and apologize. He asks Blitzø to leave him in peace but stays to hear him out until it becomes clear that Blitzø is not going to relent or give in.

His anger is not used to destroy those he is angry with; rather, it is directed toward keeping himself whole—at least as much as possible.

Bargaining

The whole verse of All 2 U, where Stolas contemplates what went wrong and if there's something they could still do, represents him trying to bargain for a better future.

Maybe there's something here for us to glean? For you to teach and me to try and learn? S2EP9, Apology Tour, 11:32

Of course, this is also something very useful for when they come back together (not if!). Despite Blitzø being the focus in the Apology Tour episode, Stolas has a lot of work to do, too. And him realizing that is a positive step.

But for now, from the perspective we’re looking at, this is a clear sign of him trying to trade anything he can for their relationship to flourish.

Depression

Eventually, Stolas breaks down publicly. He can’t hold the mask on anymore; seeing Blitzø is unbearable, as it reminds him too much of everything that happened and everything that could’ve been.

You! Why are you here? I don't want you here, go home, please! Let me not feel so sad! S2EP9, Apology Tour, 15:50

And he manages to compose himself incredibly quickly…

S2EP9, Apology Tour, 16:07

It takes him just 17 seconds to fall into crying and calm himself. But there was more brewing beneath the surface—he just didn’t show it.

Calm yourself, young prince. You know excitement is unbecoming of a Goetia. S2EP1, The Circus, 00:20

Acceptance...?

Then there's the guy who received more hate than he (allegedly) deserved—Better Than Blitzo guy. He asks Stolas for a dance, and Stolas accepts. He seems to quite enjoy himself there, actually… maybe even a tad too much (arguably).

Well, I just wanted to see if... Maybe... I dunno... You'd wanna... Dance? S2EP9, Apology Tour, 16:16

S2EP9, Apology Tour, 19:08

S2EP9, Apology Tour, 20:08

Did he move on? Did he get over Blitzø? We don’t know. I don’t think so. But that dance was certainly an outlet. A relief he was ready to accept. He was ready not to dwell on negative emotions and allow himself to feel something good for a change.

Verosika: A scorched earth way

Now, let’s see how Verosika is doing after all these years post-breakup. Surely she can’t care less about Blitzø now, right?

Anger

Right… No petty feelings at all.

S1EP3, Spring Break, 8:13

There's still resentment...

A selfish imp in the sheets And just as bad in the streets A reckless, heartbreaking freak! S1EP7, Ozzie's, 11:54

Anger… to the murderous degree, actually…

Fuck Blitzo in the fucking ass! S2EP9, Apology Tour, 8:14

Disrespect...

That cock-sucking motherfucker! S2EP9, Apology Tour, 9:36

Remember when I said their anger is different?

She uses hers to fuel her determination to destroy Blitzø’s reputation. She uses her fame and all her resources to humiliate him.

She never moved past anger. Never really processed it.

But wait…

Acceptance?!

S2EP9, Apology Tour, 18:55

All it took was just one long-overdue genuine talk. The moment she saw Blitzø's remorse and let her feelings out, she immediately warmed up, stopped using his dead name, and even gave advice—it’s debatable whether it was the best one, but I believe she meant well for both Blitzø and Stolas.

Hold it, Blitzø. Y’know, if you wanna change, it just starts with saying: “Good for him, hope he gets laid.” S2EP9, Apology Tour, 19:18

You know, I feel there’s a good chance that the next anti-Blitzo party might not ever happen again.

Because she leaped through all the stages in one night, and, maybe not at that exact moment, but she is on the path to acceptance. Finally letting it go.

Baby, I'm not over it, but I'm over you.

Could've saved many years of simmering in rage and destructing herself over Blitzø though.

Conclusions

Oh shit, now I need to somehow connect all the dots, don’t I?

Well... *chuckles nervously* I guess I gotta put on my nerd glasses and pretend I knew what I was doing here and not just threw shit at the wall and saw what stuck.

What I really wanted to say is that Stolas is much more self-aware and was able to work through all his feelings and process them in one day. He went through the complete journey and made immense progress. We don’t know how it will go further, but from what we’ve seen, his emotional intelligence helps him, if not to avoid problematic behaviors like binge-drinking, then at least not to burn bridges behind him, leaving space for understanding, forgiveness, and acceptance.

It’s not to say that Verosika’s way of doing things was wrong because she was angry and skipped through some stages. It was wrong because she made her entire personality revolve around it, turning bringing Blitzø down in any way possible into her ultimate life goal. It was wrong because she never processed it.

And it shows why, even after the break-up, #stolitz can still work, given that Blitzø is open about how he feels and Stolas is open to listening to it.

AGAIN! There’s no right way to process grief. But there should be a priority to heal and accept instead of doubling down and ruining yourself and everything you cared for.

(I am watching you, Blitzø hater. Don’t you dare to shit on my poor lizard. He has his own heap of issues and has had enough after that fucking penguin slur short. So don’t. >:()

[i-dont-r3member]

This might be unpopular but I think it would’ve been absolutely HILARIOUS if TOTK had just one (1) guardian just chilling in the depths or smthn

[thatsrightice]

Telling my future kids that this is Iceman and Maverick frfr 😤😤😩😩

Source: @navalacademycontent

[moonspirit]

Another angst headcanon, sooo sorry 😢

Armin tells Annie for the first time that she’s sexy. The girl dies from body overheating. RIP Annie.

Seriously, I don't think Annie will know how to react to this, her face is burning and she can't say a word. Poor Armin will panic that he said something inappropriate.

Anon you just reverse-clickbaited me! xD

You know, if we're really talking about Armin using this word...

... 100% he knows what he's doing 😏

(can't ignore the type of VOICE he employs... )

You're right, Annie is not used to compliments as a whole! She basically lost all her senses and flew off to space with just him calling her "nice". Imagine what "pretty", "cute", "beautiful", "gorgeous", "good girl" will do!

"Sexy" will absolutely destroy her!

There's something about coming to terms with being complimented in ways that can still be "borderline" innocent, but him calling her "sexy" has an explicit sexual tone! It means he's sexually aroused! By her! Because of her! She! She's doing that to him!

She!!!!!

Yeah she's not coming out of this alive.

[kaurwreck]

I don't think any well written work with unreliable narrators can be understood if you're disregarding everything from those narrators— understanding where and why they're unreliable is key. That requires discernment rather than bright line rules.

Otherwise, the narrators wouldn't be unreliable. They'd be reliably dishonest, and that wouldn't make for a compelling or relatable story.

[swifteainthesummer]

Do you ever do something SO embarrassing you want to vanish from earth?

[gyorklady]

And cue hundreds of AO3 Critical Role fic authors freaking out wondering if theirs is one of the fics @quiddie has read.

[morkiplier]

“…can I control the nutcracker?”

[lucienarcheron]

Instincts - I [ Elucien ]

Prompt: A lovely anon sent me this: "Could I please request a fic based on elain reading a really sad book where 1 of the characters dies and she's absolutely torn up over it and Lucien sees her sobbing but he doesn't know what to do cause he doesn't get being invested in fictional characters (plss the irony has me ded) like she does, so he just sits with her and follows his mate bond instinct." So I took the idea and ran with it lol. |

This takes place post-ACOSF. | Part II

Lucien had been rooted to his spot in front of her bedroom door for about ten minutes now.

Ten minutes of him listening to her sobbing — sobbing. 

He had been invited to stay the night after visiting Feyre and baby Nyx. Exhausted and rather than make the trek back to Jurian and Vassa, Lucien stayed. He stayed knowing he was spending an evening with his mate avoiding him like the plague per usual. But it was alright. He tried not to hold it against her. He let her have her space.

When she excused herself after dinner, Lucien’s eyes followed her as she left the room but with a quiet sigh, he returned to his meal.

“You know she doesn’t actually dislike you, right?” Feyre said with a small wince. 

“I know.” Lucien replied, schooling his expression not to show his continuous disappointment. It needn’t be anyone else’s problem but his. “I’m pretty sure if she did, I wouldn’t be able to set foot in this house.”

“Now, now Lucien. You are a friend. You’re always welcome.” Rhys said then laughed when Lucien flipped him off.

“As mates, you both know exactly how well I can feel her emotions.” he said, his eyes on his plate. “I know she’s still going through things. So am I. We’ll eventually work through it.”

He didn’t bother to glance at Rhys or Feyre as he also excused himself. What Lucien didn’t add was even though they were both working through it, consistently being around her without properly talking to her left him in a constant state of agony.

But he’d dealt with worse. It would be fine. He’d had his eye carved out. He could handle Elain not wanting to talk to him until she was ready.

It was as Lucien started settling in for the evening that he sensed her distress. He was in his own rooms, upstairs, and on the other side of the house when a surge of emotion washed over him. The book in his hand immediately closed and he was on his feet and out the door before Lucien could stop himself. 

The bond had yanked him here, rooting him in front of her room staring and wondering what in the devil was causing her to be this upset. 

His face suddenly fell. Was it him being here? She had never reacted this badly to him. If this was how she really felt, he would free her from the bond right here, right now. He would never want to be with someone who fucken sobbed at the idea of being with him. He deserved better than that. So did she.

He’d reject the bond and his own psychological well-being be damned if it freed them both from the misery he was apparently causing her.

But then —

“I’m going to kill her.” 

And Lucien straightened at the venomous tone and words very clearly not about him.

Her door suddenly flew open and a rage like he’d never seen before was found on Elain’s tear-stricken face. 

“I’m going to kill her.”  she repeated and it was as though she hadn’t seen Lucien at all until he cleared his throat.

“I’m unsure who it is you’re referring to, but I would probably rethink your murder plan.” he said gently. “It won’t do much for your soul.”

Finally seeming to realize who stood before her, Elain immediately straightened with a sniffle and wiped at her tears hastily. He watched her in slight amusement as she wrapped her robe further around herself and with a final sniff, looked at him with a stoic expression.

“What are you doing here?”

Lucien pursed his lips at the clipped tone. “I sensed your extreme distress and wanted to make sure you were alright.” he replied dryly. “Seeing as you’re planning a murder, I guess you’re fine.”

Elain scoffed. “Fine. Of course, I’m fine.” she choked out and Lucien raised a brow. “When am I ever not fine?”

Lucien blinked. Interesting. This development was interesting. She was actually talking to him in full sentences. And being snarky.

He gave her a once-over. “We both know you’re not fine. Which is why you avoid me so much because I know the depth of that.”

Elain’s face flushed and her lips went into a thin line. “There’s no need to bring that up.”

“Yes, of course.” he replied immediately, a humorless chuckle escaping him. “Because that would mean you’d have to talk to me, and Cauldron forbid that happen.” 

Elain blinked at him, surprise flashing across her face as her flush deepened. Lucien’s own face heated at what he’d said but shaking his head and taking a deep breath, he forced down his contempt. He had been two minutes away from rejecting the bond for her. He had to leave her before he said something else that was stupid. 

Turning away from her slightly, he waved a hand. “Since you’re alright, I’ll take my leave then.” he said quietly. “Apologies for disturbing you.”

Lucien slowly walked away, clenching and unclenching his fists to calm his heart. He had almost reached the end of the hall when her voice called out to him.

“Do you read?”

He froze then turned to her slightly. 

She was still standing in her doorway, a book now clenched tightly in her hands and looking at him like — Lucien swallowed. He wouldn’t read into her expression.

Turning, he slowly made his way back to her, his hands in his pockets and when he was one bedroom door away, he stopped to keep a healthy distance between them. 

“Yes, I do. I enjoy reading.” he answered. “Do you?”

Elain looked down at the book in her hands and frowned, her lips trembling slightly. “Nesta was always the reader. I enjoyed reading here and there but…” she began and looked up at him. “Now that I seem to have forever to do things, I wanted to start reading more.”

The corner of his mouth ticked up. “Based on the emotional breakdown you were having, I would wager you didn’t enjoy that particular read.”

Elain watched him quietly and Lucien tried not to read into the whirlwind of emotions seeming to charge out of her, especially when her lips trembled again, and her eyes started watering.

“He dies!” she blurted in a wheeze. “Six books! I've been reading this series for six books and after everything they’ve been through!  Everything that has happened! They’re barely happy for two chapters and then he dies!”

Lucien blinked as she started crying. Or rather, tried not to cry as she sniffled and then sobbed. 

“Oh.” he said stupidly and as understanding washed over him, his lips twitched.

“What’s the point? What’s the point if they’re not happily together in the end?!” she continued, her rant clearly not over as she angrily wiped away tears still streaming. “I’ve been rooting for them for six books! His death has no meaning!”

“Was it an important character?” he asked and the fury in her eyes almost made him take a step back.

“He was one of the main characters and the main love interest!” she growled. “I have been waiting for them to have their happily ever after for six books!”

He prayed to whatever gods were listening that he didn’t laugh. 

“I see.” was all he could manage. “He was a favorite character of yours then?”

“He was the best.” she said with a small whine and quickly sniffled, glaring down at the book in question. “He was kind and loyal and he loved her so much! He was her perfect match.”

Lucien paused and the way she had said the words ‘perfect match’ erased his urge to laugh. Elain had clearly been committed to this fictional relationship. Should he...pat her on the back? It wasn’t like he could give her a hug. How does one mourn the loss of a fictional character?

“Well.” he finally said carefully. “The death was definitely done for shock value then.”

“Which is the stupidest reason to kill a character!” she snarled, and Lucien blinked rapidly, trying desperately not to let his amusement show. 

“I agree but I mostly read nonfiction, so this is an uncharted territory of investment for me.”

“Nonfiction?” Elain said with a blink then sniffled. “That seems so boring.”

Lucien’s ears heated. “Nonfiction books are the easiest way to educate yourself on things. There’s nothing boring about that.” he said defensively. “Funny enough, some would say gardening is boring and you’ve invested all your time in that.”

She narrowed her eyes at him, the look not really having the desired effect with the tear streaks on her face. “Don’t you go there.”

He held up his hands in mock surrender. “Those gardening books you have count as nonfiction, you know.” he said with a snort and she squinted at him. 

“Fair point, I guess.” she mumbled, and he watched as she glared at the book clenched tightly in her hands again. A moment of tense silence passed then Elain added, “I hate this thing. If I find the author, I will kill them.”

“I’d offer to burn it for you, but it seems the emotional damage has already been done.” he said, a small smile finding its way to his face as Elain continued to glare at the book. “May I ask, who suggested this series to you?”

And Elain glanced up, tear-stricken face furious. “Nesta.”

“Ah. So that’s who you planned to murder then?”

“Yes.”

And Lucien really couldn’t stop his smile from widening in amusement. “Might I also ask, how do you plan to do that?” he asked and her gaze snapped to his. “I’m only asking so when they question me, I have an alibi ready.”

Elain sniffled, wiping at her face but a ghost of a smile tugged on her own lips. “People underestimate gardening tools, but they hurt if you know where to strike.”

Lucien’s brow went up and then a quiet laugh slipped from his lips. “Unexpected answer but seemingly very you.”

Elain looked down at the book in her hand again. “And how do you know what I am or not?” she asked quietly.

“I’m very observant.” 

A heartbeat of silence passed between them before Elain finally said, “Too observant.”

Lucien only shrugged, his heart going at an erratic rhythm. Their conversation had gone on longer than he had anticipated, and he didn’t want to do anything to risk spooking her. It was a strange dance between them. He wasn’t sure what tone it would take next.

But Elain surprised him once more. She frowned then without warning, stepped out of her doorway and whirled the book with all her might down the hall. It landed with a soft thud on the other side of the house. 

Lucien blinked, eyeing how much closer she stood to him now. 

“I’ll grab it tomorrow. I can’t stand it being in my room.” she mumbled, crossing her arms. “I’m going to beat Nesta over the head with it in the morning.”

Lucien’s lip twitched again. “I would support that plan as it would be a better one than murdering your own sister.”

Elain snorted. “After letting me get invested for six books only to have the main love interest die in the end?” she said, her eyes flashing. “She’s lucky I won’t.”

Lucien gave her a teasing smile. “As terrible as it is to say this, I’d pay good money to see you whack Nesta with a book.”

“I know she’s faster and stronger than me, but I’ll at least get one hit in.” she said, determination in her eyes. “The element of surprise will help.” 

“I’ll cheer you on.” he said with a chuckle. “But also have Madja on call just in case.” 

Elain looked at him curiously, a small smile on her face. “That doesn’t sound incredibly supportive.”

“If you’d like the fight to be fair, you’d probably need to train just a little.”

“I don’t want to be a fighter.” she snapped immediately, and Lucien’s brows shot up.

“I know.” he said simply. “Basic self-defense doesn’t require you to become a warrior.”

She glanced at him and her lips went into a thin line. “We’ve barely spoken in two years. How could you know that I don’t want to be a fighter when both of my sisters are? Why would I be different?”

“Because you are not your sisters. And again, I’m observant.” he replied curtly, and the familiar contempt flared up. “The only reason we haven’t spoken much in two years is because you don’t want to. I’ve respected that decision.”

The fight in her vanished at his response and instead, Elain shot him a slightly annoyed look. She crossed her arms again and the two stood there, in awkward silence. After a moment, she spoke.

“So what, you’d be willing to teach me basic self-defense?” she asked and Lucien quirked a brow.

“If that’s what you want, I’d be happy to do that.” he replied, crossing his own arms. 

Elain assessed him and Lucien allowed it. It had been a long time since she’d stood before him and actually looked him in the eye. 

But Elain ended up shaking her head and Lucien watched her expression shut down. “They’d just laugh at me if I suggested it.”

Lucien’s expression softened. “No one will laugh at you. I’m sure they’d love for you to learn to defend yourself.” 

But Elain shook her head again and sighed. “I can’t win. I’m mocked for wanting a quiet life and then shut down if I try to take chances.” she said quietly. 

Lucien’s hands dropped to his sides and his fists clenched. “I will tell you this once so please listen,” he began, and Elain’s brows furrowed. “You don’t need anyone’s permission to make changes to your life. You get to decide that and then just do it.”

Elain glanced at him. “It doesn’t feel like it.”

“Well, what do you want, Elain?” he asked and watched as her eyelids fluttered shut for a moment when her name slipped from his lips. His fists clenched again at his sides.

“What do I want?” she repeated, eyes still closed.

“Other than your favorite fictional character to have survived the series?” he said and smiled softly as a small smile emerged on her face.

“I want —” she began, eyes still closed, expression focused. “I want so many things.” 

“Like what?” he asked softly, taking the time to memorize every inch of her face. 

“I want to train a little. I want to travel. I want — I want to get to know you without everyone’s involvement.” she said quickly. “I want my choices to matter in everything.”

His heart started racing and when Elain opened her eyes, the flush in her cheeks matched Lucien’s, who could only stare at her with a barely managed intensity. 

It took Lucien a few moments to find his voice again. “I’m not going to coddle you.” he said firmly. “If there is something you want to do, you can do it. You don't need my support to do anything but you will have it.”

Elain took a breath, her eyes scanning his face. “Good.”

“Great.” he agreed, and he couldn’t stop himself from asking, “Without everyone’s involvement huh?”

Elain flushed. “You’re a mystery to me and everyone has opinions. I’d like to form my own.” she said then quickly added. “With zero expectations between us. Whatever happens will happen.”

Lucien nodded slowly. “Whatever happens will happen.” he repeated then gave her a small smile. “As soon as you’re done mourning your loss, we can begin. My condolences by the way.”

With an eye roll, Elain huffed a small laugh. “Oh, shut up.” 

And Lucien smirked. “You’ll have to talk to me much more when we train, you are aware of that, yes?”

“Push your luck with your teasing, I dare you.” 

Lucien’s eyes gleamed at the challenge. “Don’t tempt me, I barely started.”

Elain fought back a smile then looked away from him with a sigh, curling a hair behind her ear, “For training,” she started, licking her lips. “Will...I need pants? Because I don’t have those.”

And every thought seemed to slip out of Lucien’s mind at the statement. The sheer innocence in it. The self-consciousness. She had no idea Lucien was barely holding on to his sanity as is. 

He swallowed. “I’m sure Feyre can help you buy some training pants.”

“No!” she said immediately then flushed at his expression. “I don’t want anyone asking questions.”

Lucien chuckled. “Buying pants is a very normal thing, Elain. You shouldn’t be this worried.”

She bit her lip and Lucien had to look anywhere else until she very quietly asked, “Will you go with me then?”

He blinked at her, then swallowed. “To — to buy pants?”

“You said we haven’t talked because I didn’t want to. I wasn’t ready.” she said and looked him in the eye. “I want to change that. Shopping allows some of the best conversations.”

He tilted his head, taking in the question and the challenge in her eyes. With a small smile, Lucien nodded. “Shopping it is.”

“Good. We can go tomorrow.”

“So demanding.”

“I’m making decisions.” she said with a firm nod, a small smile gracing her face.

“I can work with that.”

They watched each other for a few moments in silence before Elain finally looked away shyly again, making her way back to her bedroom door. “I’ll see you tomorrow then?”

“See you tomorrow.” he confirmed with a nod. “I’ll even grab the book that shall not be named and hang on to it for safekeeping for you.”

Elain laughed softly. “Thank you.” she said then added quietly, “And thank you for checking on me. Even when you didn’t have to.”

He waved her off with a good-natured smile. “I was only following my instincts. It brought me to the right place.”

It brought me to you, is what he wanted to say but held back. They balanced a delicate line and Lucien didn’t want to burden her. But the small smile on Elain’s face as she waved goodnight and gently closed her bedroom door gave him the impression she heard it anyway.

Feeling lighter than he had in quite some time, Lucien made his way back to his room, stopping only to pick up the now-cursed book and taking it back with him. Closing his bedroom door behind him and leaning against it, Lucien realized then, he only had a few hours to mentally prepare himself to see Elain in pants for the first time.

Gods above, he was barely going to survive it. 

[asteracaea]

not to sound the clown alarms but taylor's store layout just changed to black and white and the rep hoodie is featured at the top

[basileusdraws]

I hc tognath have very insectoid/bug mouthes (like a cross between a preying mantis and a wasp) and have a bite force strong enough to crack bones and shells for the juicy bits in the middle 😳

But also, mandibles for gentle paps and kisses