#currently three parts but I might do Eclipse too

[fortunatelychaoticphantom]

Yeah, so I finished Breaking Dawn.

General:

Holly shit. Holly fucking shit. Holly Jesus fucking Christ holly fucking hell god damn shit. THIS BOOK IS AMAZING.

I am serious. I am not being ironic or trying to be cool or contradictory or nothing. This book is absolutely batshit insanely fucking good. THIS IS GOOD FUCKING FANTASY.

Look. I've read and watched plenty of reevaluations of the series in the past couple of years, and I think we all know by now that it is far from perfect and there's a lot to criticize, but that the criticism and cultural uproar at the time was just pure misogyny and hatred to anything that girls like (a day will come when we talk about Justin Bieber and how the entire world decided its number one enemy was a 13 year old boy who wanted to be a pop singer and was beloved by 13 year old girls but it is not this day), and that Meyer is actually a very good world builder. This reread really solidified this for me, but even more so then before. I really do believe she is a good writer. NOT GREAT, but good. Until Breaking Dawn.

I am not joking when I tell you that this is one of the most incredible books I have ever read in my life. It is leaps and bounds better then any other book in the series. I think the other books are fine and enjoyable, they definitely don't hold the same charm over me as they did when I was 16, but they are absolutely entertaining and even truly touching (New Moon specifically). But this... this is just a different league altogether. This book is mature, and brutal, and aggressive, and disgusting, and horrifying, and reached fucked up territories that few writers dare to explore and I absolutely admire Meyer for this.

Part One - Bella:

It's a pretty short section of the book so there's not much to say about. It's sweet and fun but nothing much more.

Horny Bella is the best Bella. Get some girl.

Part two - Jacob:

Anyway, this right here is what brilliance is made of. I need to find a way to articulate it properly. It's the first time I have ever been so acutely aware of the narrator because the entire narration is in first person and so all the sections that are supposedly general descriptions are an active thought of Jacob that in almost every single moment are being experienced not just by me but by his pack(s) and by Edward and are commented on in the story. I don't even know how to explain just what an unbelievably wonderfully complexly imaginatively fucked up this is. Just. Amazing.

LEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!

I'm okay I swear. But seriously. Leah's story is amazing as is, but it's the room Meyer gives her to be both filled with sorrow and with just pure spiteful rage. I love that she is not perfect, she is not currently nice, because she can't be nice, but a day will come when she might be better, be in a better place, and that's okay because we understand her. I just love her so much.

Speaking of which, I love the new bond between Rosalie and Bella but I also love that it's not entirely a good things? Like, there is a very clearly stated undertone that Rose cares more about the fetus than she does about Bella, and I just respect that? She isn't just magically sweet and kind, it's twisted and complicated and good storytelling (I forgot to mention in the Eclipse post Rosalie's backstory, but obviously that's also amazing).

Seth is also the most wonderful and pure cinnamon role in history and I will die for him.

6. this:

Leah: Mom dropped him a lot when he was a baby. Jacob: Oh his head, apparently. Leah: He used to gnaw on the crib bars, too. Jacob: Lead paint? Leah: Looks like it.

7. This section is just so fucking brutal. The physical toll of carrying the baby for Bella, Edward's agony, Jacob's suffering, Leah's everything, the coming attack from the wolves, the birth... Immaculate.

Part three - Bella:

If there was one Mary Sue I would stan, it was Bella. You're doing amazing sweetie!! You go and be an awesome newborn. We believe in you!!!

All the vampire descriptions are just so fucking good. The whole distractability, the way the new senses literally overwhelm you. I love it all.

You know what? I really don't mind the imprinting. Meyer goes to great lengths to say that it's in no way romantic. It's not the Greatest Thing, but, I mean, I'm reading a fantasy book... my suspension is very much suspending...

Jacob's being an ass again, only caring about what he wants, but it's only for like two chapters so it's fine.

I can't help but love the congregation of vampires, it's just so fun and interesting, and even though we spend so little time with them they are all so distinct.

It's a great showdown. I love it way more then I did the first time. I am still fond of the What-The-Fuck-They-Are-All-Dying???? scene from the movie, but it's intense even without it.

and this:

Garrett: If we live through this, I`ll follow you anywhere, woman. Kate: Now he tells me.

Good job all around. Now I need to go buy Midnight Sun.

[centaurianthropology]

General Thoughts of Candela Obscura E1

So, for those who are waiting for the drop for Youtube, I’m just going to put these under a cut.

The first episode was ... fine.  I like the characters, but the story was a little less horror than I was hoping for.  I think this is likely a side-effect of it being an introduction to the system and the world, and I hope we dig deeper and get into way worse and creepy things in Oldfaire, because the town gives off some serious Yharnam vibes, and I really want to see much worse below the city.

The horror seems currently on the level of something like Fallen London (another strong similar vibe I got from the setting), where it can be mildly creepy, but nothing to spook even the biggest scardey-cats.  And part of that, I think, is Matt being first and foremost a D&D DM.  His favorite horror is body horror, clearly, and his sensibilities are geared for D&D combat and monsters.  And that is no bad thing, but so far I really haven’t seen him dig deep and come up with a really strong horror hook.  

And to be fair to him, doing horror in a TTRPG is HARD.  The sci-fi horror series ‘Eclipse’ had only one episode out of three seasons that really got me properly creeped out.  Taliesin’s Call of Cthulhu one-shot ‘Shadow of the Crystal Palace’ had some great horror moments, such as the moment with the guard and Travis, but that’s as close as we’ve come to proper horror content from CR.  And this introduction to Candela Obscura, despite being hyped as proper horror spooks, lacked any real fear.  We got ..blue ghosts?  A big warrior spirit?  Cool, sure, and definitely some fun visuals, but nothing that felt actually scary in that existential, unexpected way.

I also sort of wish Taliesin was playing the group’s Lightkeeper, as I think he’d bring more gravity and spooky shit to the table, essentially acting as a junior DM and NPC.  He would give the circle instructions and would be available to discuss lore and such with them as needed, but would always give off a vibe that interacting with him for too long might be dangerous.  It would also make his intros feel a little less separated from the rest of the episode.  

Now, all this may sound like I was pretty down on the episode, but I did enjoy it.  The characters are fun, they’re good horror tropes (particularly Laura’s crazy-eyed occultist, who gives off some delightfully weird vibes).  Having them have personal connections to one another is also great, as it gives them more to lose (and I am really hoping we do lose a few by the end of the third episode, as I want Matt to ratchet up the danger hard).

And as I said at the beginning, this is very much the first episode, with some kinks to work out.  I’m hoping that, now that the establishing episode is over and done with, Matt can destroy all my doubts and show me that he can really embrace the fucked-up horror vibes this show really needs to have proper teeth and linger with the audience.  Having a system weighted toward failure or only partial successes, with true success seeming like a rarity, could really help with this, and giving the characters more resource crunch could also be great.  ‘Call of Cthulu’, for example, has very few rules about fighting, but a lot about running away, because that’s what you’re supposed to do.  So it’s great that none of the characters in this current run are active combatants.  Sending them into Oldfaire with no real means of defending themselves and barely enough information to keep them alive could really up the terror, and leaning into reality-breaking cosmic weirdness seems like a great angle to take if and when they descend below the city streets.  

Setting up proper scares and paying them off would also be a huge benefit.  Taliesin had some great moments of this in ‘Shadow of the Crystal Palace’, as I mentioned, and though the rest of the series never quite rose to the same heights, the third episode of Eclipse, ‘The Dark Zone’ is frankly a masterclass at being properly spooky and unsettling that could be referenced for ways to get your players spooked and keep them there.  So it is doable, but it requires the DM to go in with spooks set up and ready to go.  Matt is fantastic at set-up and is an incredibly diligent DM, so I do trust he can do this.  And he’s got a good buddy who has experience doing it if he needs any ideas.

I am looking forward to following this run, and I think a lot of my issues with this first episode are simply early growing pains of a new system and new players.  I think by the third episode, if Matt really cranks up the horror, I am going to love this series, and I am both a big fan of CR and a big horror fan, particularly cosmic horror.  So I’m very excited to see what the next run might be like after the growing pains are over and the kinks are worked out.  I hope we get at least three runs with three different DMs, because getting to see how this system plays in different hands with different approaches would be really beneficial to those of us tempted to run Candela Obscura ourselves.  I would love to see Ivan van Norman DM one of the runs, as he’s got a great sense for horror.  And I would really like Taliesin to take the reigns.  This is his baby, and right now his distance from it is probably deliberate, as he wants to see how it plays without his interference, but I think his DM style from ‘Shadow of the Crystal Palace’ would really bring this setting to life, dragging his investigators into darker and darker places.

All in all, not a bad start.  Not great, but first episodes of any of CR’s campaigns (or frankly pilot episodes in general) are often weakened by everyone being new to their characters and the DM still figuring out the tone they want to go for.  I think that we’ll be seeing a lot of improvement, and a lot of what’s already strong (the characters) getting built out to the point where, if we start losing them in episode three, it’ll have some serious impact leading into the formation of the next circle for the next run.

[dajaregambler]

HeliosR - Sing in the darkness - Chapter 2 - Part 7

Translation of Sing in the darkness from ‘Helios Rising Heroes’, a new side arc alongside the current main story arc Like the dawning light.

Robin: --Are things going well with your three teammates?

Sage: About that… There’s times I’m a bit nervous, but it’s working out somehow… I think?

Robin: With Bianchi you don’t hold yourself back. I’ve taken note of how you two often talk to each other while on duty. And in the same vein Jude sticks close… 

Robin: Nico must be the one weighing on your mind, then?

Sage: …Yeah, exactly that.

Sage: He is my roommate and I’d like to befriend him, but it doesn’t look like he feels the same about it…

Robin: Right…

Robin: At first glance, I don’t sense any kind of hostility or negativity, which rules that out as the problem.

Robin: It simply could be the lack of skill to communicate with others, or that’s how his personality is… 

Robin: Perhaps there might be some other reason, I think it would be best for you to not panic and worry too much about it.

Robin: Well, as your mentor I should be able to maneuver around it with these things.

Robin: Excuse me. Seems that my approach is more carefree than what you’d expect from most people… Ahaha…

Sage: I knew that from a long time ago

Sage: You have a lot on your own plate, right? I’ve heard that there’s more irregularities than usual with this term.

Sage: Though one mentor being in charge of four rookies is pretty unheard of, right?

Robin: Well… The pattern of three rookies to four rookies, and mentors ending up on their own is something that happens often

Robin: However a single mentor that’s one rank removed from being a Major Hero against a whole group of rookies… I’d argue that’s a little bit unreasonable. 

Sage: The cause has to be from last year’s… that, Lost Zero, right?

Robin: Quite a good guess there.

Robin: Exactly as you said. The clean up that followed suit after the deaths at Lost Zero, or perhaps I should say the preparations going forward, came with reinforcing the Anti-Eclipse unit as a priority.

Robin: The fact that such a situation impacted everything is undeniable.

Sage: …Are you doing okay, Sensei?

Robin: Ahaha. Sorry, did I make you anxious?

Robin: It is what it is. I would love to shrug it all off by saying it’s all fine, but since things have already gotten out of hand, we ended up talking about it…. 

Sage: No, that’s not what I meant… I’m genuinely worried if things aren’t too hard for you at the moment…

Sage: You’re busy with preparing for the Major Hero exam at the same time, no?

Robin: Fufu, I appreciate you worrying for me. You’re kind, Sage.

Robin: While I might not have much confidence in my physical strength, I do think quite highly of my stress tolerance.

Robin: As for the exam, North’s Brad-kun is in the same situation, I am in no position to whine here.

Robin: It’s a given that defense is my forte, even if I say so myself. Could say that it’s true even outside of combat.

Robin: And if I’m at my wit’s end, then I’ll surrender when the time’s right.

Sage: Do you mean that? I do think that’s just like you, but…

Robin: Well, headquarters understands the current irregular circumstances, or rather that’s the assumption I’m operating under, so it’ll be fine.

Robin: Let’s not be too serious now and take it easy. The ebb and flow of fortune is not looking bad either.

Robin: Besides, I was interested in the perspective of one in charge, I’m fairly happy that I’ve been assigned as a mentor.

Robin:  Ah, your fortune is also shaping up to be excellent too, Sage. Keep your head up high and be positive.

Robin: If you ever feel anxious, please come tell me about it. That’s what we mentors are here for. 

Sage: Yes…! Thank you, Sensei.

Sage: I’m kind of feeling all fired up now! Tomorrow I’ll start with a morning run and then do some independent training afterwards

Robin: That’s a good mentality to have, but please be careful to not overdo it.

Robin: Improving your individual ability is of course important. However, what’s even more important at Helios at the moment is--

Sage: Teamwork! Right, Sensei

Robin: Yes, correct.

Robin: There’s no meaning to becoming stronger all on your own. Aim to match the pacing with your teammates, and cultivate teamwork. 

Robin: As for the specifics, the regularly held LOM is our current target. That is where I hope to achieve satisfactory results… 

Sage: Yes! I’ll do my best!

Robin: Good to see you in high spirits. 

Robin: I’m sure you will be able to pull it off. You have my support, Sage---

[waltwhitmansbeard]

go on, claim my heart: chapter seven

see my masterpost for what came before this. inspired by @romeoandjulietyouwish's medieval au.

Scanlan Shorthalt is a man of adventure. Of course, to him, adventure can be found while singing bawdy tunes for pennies in taverns and whorehouses across the continent or surreptitiously swiping coin purses from the pockets of rich men whose wives he'd later bed, but adventure, like beauty or musical talent, is a matter of taste. In his personal tastes, adventure has little to do with the danger or heroism he so often waxes lyrical about in his performances, although he's never been allergic to creative liberties. No, Scanlan goes on his fantastical, uproarious, lascivious, ridiculous escapades for one reason only: the stories.

This story, the one in which he currently finds himself at the juicy part of the rising action, did not begin the way Scanlan would have predicted. Just yesterday morning, he had awoken in one of his favorite places, Pike Trickfoot's bed, only to see the radiant gnome to whom he finds himself entirely besotted throwing clothes on, which is one of his least favorite sights. She filled him in on the terrible thing that had occurred in the night, and on her upcoming sojourn to the city-state of Whitestone to retrieve the stolen child. As incredibly sexy as Pike's easy bravery was, he felt this foreign, uncomfortable tug in his chest, which, after dismissing the initial fear of his years of drinking to excess catching up to him, he identified as worry. The thought that she might not come back, that her final words might fall on someone else's ears, that his arcane talents might not be there to keep her around—Scanlan has rarely been so moved to act.

Which is how he has ended up here, on the back of a horse, clinging more tightly to Pike's waist that is strictly necessary, listening to a story he knows will make a truly captivating tragic poem some day.

"I was a boy when the Briarwoods came to Whitestone," Lord Percival says. Scanlan tries not to let his grudge toward the Master of Development for not allowing him to incorporate his incredible weapon into some of his court acts distract him from the narration. "It was but a month before my ninth birthday. Julius had promised to take me hunting for the first time to mark the occasion."

The troupe is traveling at a fast trot, trying to make quick time while not tiring out the horses, so the sound of hooves is not too great to eclipse the pain in his voice. Captain Vex'ahlia reaches over to squeeze his arm briefly—oh, the worst kept secret in Zephrah playing out before his very eyes.

"They were kind, at first. From what I recall, they were requesting access to some area beneath our castle. I couldn't tell you why. My father denied them, and that night...that night they went on a rampage."

Princess Keyleth does not seem surprised by Lord Percival's words, though she does brush tears away. The others, however, look just as horrified as Scanlan feels. He has a sickening feeling he knows where this story is going.

"My sister Cassandra was three at the time. The youngest of us. She awoke at the sound of the commotion and ran to my room." He falls silent for a few moments. "We found our sisters' bodies as we ran for help. I managed to pull Cass around a corner just before she could see Lord Briarwood sink his teeth into Oliver's neck. I don't remember how we escaped the castle, but I do remember saying to her, 'We made it, Cass,' just before a strange bolt of sickly green light flashed out of nowhere." Lord Percival's jaw is clenched so tightly, Scanlan worries he'll crack a tooth. "My baby sister died in my arms. I could not mourn her. I had to run."

Even with the noise of their travel, there is an uneasy silence among the group. Scanlan is a master at finding the levity in all manner of dark moments, but this...this is beyond even him. He is simultaneously regretful of and thankful for his impulsive decision to join Pike on this journey to the scene of such a slaughter.

"Percy..." Vax (Vax'ildan? The Champion? Is he some kind of prince now? Scanlan has yet to figure out what's going on there) seems to be chewing over his words before he says them. "That is...gruesome. I am sorry that such a calamity befell your family." There's a clear but hanging in the air that he does not want to say aloud.

Lord Percival does it for him. "But you want to know why they took Vilya, all these years later."

"Yes."

"I wish I knew. If I had known that those villains posed even the smallest threat to your daughter, believe me, I would have intervened. The fact of it is, I had let myself believe that the Briarwoods were part of my past, something that could no longer affect my life." He swallows thickly. "I apologize for the error."

"Percy." Princess Keyleth, who had been placed at the center of the group for her protection, urges her horse forward to ride alongside Lord Percival. "As...distraught as I am, I do hope you know that I do not lay the blame for any of this at your feet. Your suffering did not cause ours."

Lord Percival lays a hand on her shoulder. "I ran from Whitestone a scared child, but I return a man intent on avenging my family and felling these devils once and for all. I will not know peace until they are dead and your child is safe in your arms."

"Great," Grog deadpans. "How do we kill 'em?"

All eyes turn to Vax, who looks back, surprised. "Why would you all assume I knew?"

"You're the assassin," Scanlan points out. "This is...what you do, is it not?"

"I do not have any experience in assassinating vampires."

"There's also your connection to the Raven Queen," Pike adds. "I mean, if the Briarwoods are steeped in the necromantic arts, surely she would be interested in bringing them to their knees."

At that, wide-eyed realization flashes on Vax's face. He pulls his horse to a dead stop, and Grog, who had been trotting behind him, nearly collides his own horse into him. Everyone else must pull around to not get too far ahead, and Princess Keyleth asks, "Vax? What is it?"

"She warned me."

"Who?" Captain Vex'ahlia asks.

"The Matron. Months ago, before Vilya was born."

Scanlan watches the princess's eyes flash dangerously. "What do you mean she warned you?"

"I thought you were both going to die," he explains, his tone edged with a pleading for understanding. "She came to me in a dream, told me...told me that death and undeath were coming for my family. I was so sure..." He drifts off for a moment, then continues. "But then you were alright, both of you, and we had a child, and I..." His voice falls to a whisper. "I thought the danger had passed."

Scanlan finds a sudden interest in a nearby tree branch, and he sees Pike and Grog doing the same, eager to be looking anywhere but at the princess, who, after a long, agonizing silence, snaps her horse's reins and tears off down the road. Vax groans out, "Kiki...," but before he can follow, Captain Vex'ahlia cuts in front of his mount with her own.

"Let me, brother." Without waiting for permission, she chases the distraught princess down, leaving the rest of the party to look awkwardly at each other.

Lord Percival trots over to Vax and pats his shoulder sympathetically. "Come. We should keep moving." At that, the remainder of the party resumes its previous clip. Scanlan, not having to focus on steering the horse, watches Vax closely, sees the abject misery in his every line. He realizes now that he's stepped into a much stickier quagmire than he had originally anticipated, and though he does still worry for both his life and Pike's, he is ultimately glad he's joined this little troupe; all of this will make an excellent story some day.

[purplesurveys]

1708

How many friends do you have on Facebook? 682.

What was on the last sandwich you ate? It just had some scrambled egg and mayonnaise on it. We have some leftover luncheon meat and egg (again) meant for me though because I skipped dinner earlier, so I might sandwichify those two later as a midnight snack. 

Have you ever gotten back together with an ex? I have. Ended catastrophically the second time around, but I’ve been doing okay for a while now.

What is your favourite Thai dish? You can’t go wrong with pad thai. I was already in Bangkok a month ago, but when I tell you it was still the only thing I had besides the street food, hahaha.

How many contacts do you have in your phone? I have no idea and I can’t be bothered to check, sorry.

When was the last time you made out with somebody? No idea. Three years ago, four years ago? Something like that.

What month of the year was your mother born? September.

Do you have any friends that seem to know all the hot gossip? Well, not all. Angela and I will update each other on whatever we’ll find, but it’s not like we treat gossip as life. We’ve also softened a lot in the last few years, like our gossipy conversations will usually go, “Apparently X does Y now... happy for them / hope they pull through!”

What TV show(s) have you been watching currently? I don’t watch TV shows. If anything I just do re-runs of Run BTS - at least one episode a day - even though it doesn’t technically count. If we’re strictly doing TV shows, I will watch an episode of Friends every now and then for the giggles and happy vibes.

How many apps do you have on your phone? Somewhere around 30-40. It’s a lot...it’s mostly so that I have options, and also because I have a handful of interests. I have 6 apps related to BTS alone, like Weverse and Stationhead haha. Then I have all the local online shopping app options, all the local ride-hailing app options, and all the parcel delivery app options too.

What pet names do you use with your significant other? I don’t have a significant other.

Do you have to wear a name badge where you work? Nope.

What brand is your toaster, if you have one? We don’t have a toaster. We have a microwave, but I don’t remember the brand name right now.

Can you hear anything right now? An interview with Yoongi and Jin.

Is there anybody else in the room you’re currently in? Nope, it’s just me 99% of the time here.

What’s the name of the store you usually get your groceries? Continued from last night. S&R.

Does your house have a porch/balcony? In the most technical sense, we do; but the balcony has actually been mostly transformed into my brother’s room. My parents did keep a small portion intact so my brother can have some kind of mini-balcony in his space.

What’s your favourite type of bread? I’m not really a big fan of bread. I’ll eat it, but I don’t like it enough to know the different kinds or have a favorite type.

Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? Like our second name? Nope.

Have there ever been any bushfires/wildfires in your area? Never happened here.

Have you ever taken a ride in an ambulance? I have not.

When was the last time you took a nap during the day? Saturday. I was already awake for a while, but I wanted to sleep again so I napped from 11 to 1.

What did you have to eat for dinner last night? I skipped dinner because I had a really heavy lunch.

What was the last thing you had to drink? Water.

Who was the last message you received from and what did they say? It was just Angela sharing a TikTok link.

What’s your favourite kind of accent? I don’t have any.

Have you ever missed a flight? That has never happened. I’ve been delayed many times, but I’ve never missed.

Have you ever seen a lunar eclipse? Idk eclipses hate this part of the world so I’ve only seen like 1 or 2 and never knew what kind they were. All I remember is that it was very exciting to see the moon turn red.

Do you know your significant other’s passwords? I don’t have one.

What’s your favourite type of salad? Spicy tuna salad.

Is your house usually too warm or too cold in the winter? We don’t have winter.

Have you ever been in love with someone much older or younger than you? No for both.

Would you rather have someone ask to kiss you, or just kiss you? It’s better to ask. Unless I was actually dating you, then feel free to do it any time.

What, if anything, do you substitute for fries? I dunno...I’m never in a situation where I have to find a substitute for fries.

Have you ever been in a building that was on fire? This has never happened to me.

Would you change your partner’s hair color if you could? I don’t have one...

Have you ever written a poem for someone? No. I would if I could, but poems were never my strong suit.

Have you been best friends with someone of a different race? Yes, I was very close with Carley, who’s from Pennsylvania. She struck me as a little alone, a little troubled...but I was very happy to be her friend and we used to video chat every single day when I’d come home from school while she would get ready for it. I don’t know what happened, maybe her life circumstances started to get the best of her, but she started going in and out of the radar for long periods of time. 

Like she’d come back and I’d be very excited to have her around again, only for her to stop talking to me for the next six months. Then she’d resurface and talk like nothing happened. It was very disorienting and somewhere down the line it started to feel more of an inconvenience, so I eventually just stopped replying whenever she’d have a ‘comeback.’

Who’s the last person who cussed you out in anger? I dunno anyone who would do this other than my mom.

Have you friended your parents on FB? Yes.

What’s the last tourist area you visited? Kuala Lumpur.

Have you ever been in a submarine? No, and especially after that Titan mess happened you will never find me in one.

Is there anyone whose grave you visit? Not a grave, but like the cubbyholes(?) in a columbarium, hehe. I visit my grandpa’s every now and then, usually during his birthday and All Souls’ Day.

Did your mother change her maiden name when/if she got married? Yes, she did.

Do you use TikTok? Very rarely; mostly for work. I like using IG Reels if I want to watch that kind of content.

What decorations do you have in your bathroom? We have some fake plants on top of the toilets.

Do you like Seinfeld? I haven’t tried watching it but it’s something I’ve always wanted to see.

What year was your favourite band formed? 2004 and 2013.

What’s your least favourite pizza topping? Pepperoni, sausage, beef, pork, pineapples.

What percentage battery is your phone on right now? 93%.

Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Did you like it? I have. It was okay, but it never felt like I needed to keep doing it.

Are you closer to your mother or father? Dad.

Have you ever sent a postcard? Where from? I’ve never done it.

Do you know anyone who speaks Spanish as a first language? No.

Who was the last person you kissed? My ex.

Do you have a Bachelor’s degree? If so, what in? Yes, in journalism.

Do loud noises bother you? It depends on the context. Construction noises while I’m working certainly won’t make me feel relaxed.

Do you rent or own the place you live? My parents own the house.

Have you ever made yourself as a Sim? Of course.

What brand is your phone? It’s an iPhone.

Have you ever had a friend named Mary? I mean her nickname is Mary, but her actual name is longer than that.

What does the name “Ada” make you think of? My high school classmate named Ada, and Ada Wong from Resident Evil.

Have you ever ridden in a horse-drawn carriage? I’ve been on a calesa once.

Did you ever sneak out of your house when you were younger? No, my mom has a way of finding things out anyway.

What is your best friend’s name? Angela, Andi.

Is anyone in your family an author or poet? We have an author.

Have you ever dated a guy with a girl’s name? I’ve never dated a guy.

Would you rather be named Fanny or Faye? Not a fan of both, but...eh, I guess I’ll go with Faye.

Do you have a godmother? Yes. Kind of a mandatory if you’re getting baptized in the Catholic Church.

Are you someone’s godmother? Yes.

When was the last time you wrote a poem? High school, I think.

Do you believe that it’s possible for someone to be resurrected from the dead? Save for experiences where the heart has been inactive for only a short period of time and it was able to be jolted back into activity, no. <--- this. < There we go.

What color hair does your current crush (or boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, whatever) have? I don’t have a crush.

What’s the most embarrassing thing that’s ever happened to you in a theater? Falling asleep way after the credits stopped rolling. Mind you this was the last screening for the day, so the mall literally couldn’t close down fully because of me haha. It was embarrassing but in hindsight I couldn’t understand why no one could just wake me up and told me to get the fuck out of there.

Have you ever had someone copy you or steal your ideas for something? Not that I can remember. If this ever happened I can tell you I’d definitely be petty about it and find a way for the credit to somehow come back my way.

Have you ever dated someone behind your parents’ back? Yes.

[scruffyplayssonic]

Are the ArchieSonic comics actually an 80’s/90’s syndicated cartoon? Episode 64 - 65: Two Multi-part Finale (part 12: Panic in the Skies parts 1 and 2)

Welcome back to my investigation of how Archie Comics’ Sonic the Hedgehog series was actually a syndicated cartoon from the 80’s and 90’s! Alright everyone, it’s finally time to talk about how ArchieSonic’s main plot wrapped up. After almost three years of setting up and adapting the story of Sonic Unleashed, the arc came to a close with the four part story, Panic in the Skies. 

I love it when an arc has one big picture when you put all the covers together. It was one of the coolest things about the Knuckles comics, and it gives this arc a little extra gravitas as the proper finale for ArchieSonic. This arc was also drawn by the fantastic Diana Skelly, the same artist responsible for the "Champions" arc that adapted Sonic the Fighters, so you know you're in for a good time reading this. :)

I first talked about Sonic #183, the set-up story for this final Unleashed arc… woof, six months ago. So if you don’t remember what that was about, I don’t blame you in the slightest. So, quick recap: after Sonic’s world got a soft reboot and the planet shattered, the Freedom Fighters were working hard to put the pieces back together. They’d managed to gather the seven Chaos Emeralds, and had also gotten the seven keys that would give them access to the Gaia temples. All they had to do now was use the Gaia Gate to take a Chaos Emerald to each of the temples, but with Eggman’s forces searching for (and in some cases occupying some of) the temples, that was going to be a challenge. So they sent the emeralds and keys to the royal vault of Mobotropolis for safekeeping until they were ready to make their move, and put out a call to their allies worldwide asking for them to take part in a coordinated distraction effort when the Freedom Fighters were ready to make their move. Should be easy enough, right? Well under other circumstances it might have been, but the Tails Doll had hidden itself onboard the Sky Patrol and spied on Sonic and Sally’s conference call, transmitting their entire plan to Eggman.

Eggman gleefully decided to counter the Freedom Fighters with a coordinated strike from his own forces and hired mercenaries, including Metal Sonic, the Battle Bird Armada, the Witchcarters, and the Hooligans. 

On a side note, there was also the problem that Amy and Knuckles were currently searching for the missing shards of the Master Emerald, which Knuckles had had to shatter again after it was nearly stolen by Eclipse (and also Team Dark).

If they were unable to get the Master Emerald back where it belonged before the Freedom Fighters put the planet back together, Angel Island would fall out of the sky. But that was the focus of the Shattered arc that was happening in Sonic Universe at the same time, and I’m not going to be focusing on that today. It’s a good arc though, I recommend it if you can find a copy.

So, what happened next?

Well, Sonic and the Freedom Fighters started preparing for a kick-ass victory party, of course! Sally was concerned that they might be celebrating a bit too early, and sadly she never got the chance to say, “I told you so,” because the Sky Patrol came under attack. 

With Phage and the Tails Doll working together to sabotage the Sky Patrol’s systems and take them offline, the Battle Bird Armada were able to sneak up and launch a surprise attack on the Freedom Fighters quite easily. At the same time in New Mobotropolis, Metal Sonic, the Witchcarters, and Team Hooligan were launching a coordinated assault on the city.

The local guards didn’t really put up much of a fight, but Gemerl quickly showed up to put the resistance down. But Eggman had planned for that, and Gemerl found himself having to concentrate his entire efforts against fighting Metal Sonic. With no one else able to stop them, the Hooligans were able to enter Castle Acorn and make their way to the vault… only to find it guarded by none other than King Nigel Acorn himself.

Man, that was badass. Hey Ian, where was our Sonic Universe arc about King Nigel taking names and kicking ass? I’d have totally read that. But alas, Nigel’s valiant efforts were stopped by the two fists of Bark the Polar Bear.

Bark did at least look like he had some regrets though.

With the Chaos Emeralds and Gaia Keys obtained, the Hooligans passed them off to Metal Sonic while they and the Witchcarters prevented Gemerl from stopping Metal escaping with the goods.

Back on the Sky Patrol, Sonic, Bunnie and Antoine were struggling with the sheer number of Battle Birds they’d come up against. Sonic also happened to notice that Speedy wasn’t leading the attack, but with the comms still down he wasn’t able to warn any of the other Freedom Fighters he might be coming. And sure enough, Speedy was leading some of his best troops into the Sky Patrol to grab Chip. Sally was there to make sure that didn’t happen, but Speedy had new battle armour (no more extreme undies for him!) and was able to get her on the ropes.

Chip tried to intervene and help her, but Speedy grabbed him and made a run for it.

Tails and Rotor were doing better, as they managed to find and disable the Tails Doll with some help from T-Pup. Nicole was struggling against Phage in the digital servers though, and asked Tails to give her the red star ring so she could go super overclocked again.

Hmmm. Kind of seems like that was exactly what Phage wanted to happen, doesn't it?

Nicole was able to get comms up again and Sally was able to get the word out about Chip’s abduction. The Battle Lord was ready to cover his son’s escape though - he’d had another team wiring the Sky Patrol’s engines with explosives, and gave the order to detonate them.

With the Sky Patrol falling out of the sky, Sonic asked Bunnie to throw him in a desperate attempt to get to Speedy.

It didn’t work.

Nicole was having problems of her own - rather than fighting, Phage had led her on a wild goose chase through the servers to stall her, and Nicole’s systems became overwhelmed by the massive power of the red star ring.

Bunnie managed to save Sonic from falling into the lava of the planet’s exposed mantle, landing him and Antoine back on top of the Sky Patrol just as Rotor got the backup engines online. The team and the Sky Patrol were in rough shape though, especially Nicole.

Ian Flynn actually let us believe Nicole might be dead for a few seconds. That monster. >:(

But only a few seconds though, because as soon as we turned the page Nicole alerted Tails through his Miles Electric that she was still in the Sky Patrol’s servers and trying her best to fix the damage. With so many systems damaged Rotor didn’t know where to start repairs, but Sally told him to concentrate on the long range comms. She figured that with Tails Doll spying on them that Eggman knew exactly where to find the Chaos Emeralds, and even though it may already be too late, she wanted to warn her father.

Sure enough, back in Mobotropolis things weren’t exactly going well. While Gemerl was doing a valiant effort of fighting the Hooligans and the Witchcarters all by himself, it wasn’t looking that great for him.

But just in the nick of time Big and Cream showed up to give him backup, and Nack, who had zero interest in a fair fight, gave the order for the badnik horde to attack the city while everyone else retreated. Cream wanted to go after them, but Gemerl convinced her that their first priority should be to protect the city and the people. 

On the other side of the world, Metal Sonic and Speedy arrived in Apotos to hand over their prizes to Eggman.

Assigning Speedy and the Armada the task of fighting off the GUN airship that was incoming, Eggman went about activating the seven Gaia Temples, summoning them all to him and forming them into the Gaia Colossus.

Back aboard the Sky Patrol, Rotor had been able to repair the engines enough to get them one last trip to wherever they needed to go. Sally had interrogated Tails Doll and learned of Eggman’s plans to give the Death Egg infinite fuel with the Dark Gaia energy he’d collected from all over the world and now had housed in Eggmanland.

And so Sally divided the Freedom Fighters into three teams. She, Bunnie and Antoine would sabotage the Dark Gaia collection tower so that the energy would be released and Eggman couldn’t use it. Unfortunately several E-100 units were waiting for them - the same ones that had kicked their collective butts on a previous adventure.

Rotor and Nicole were to fly the Sky Patrol into battle against the Death Egg before it could reach Eggmanland and refuel.

And Sonic of course was sent to rescue Chip from Eggman, only to find himself up against an iconic boss fight.

Dun-dun-dun! Quite a dramatic cliffhanger!

Alas, once again I find myself falling victim to Tumblr's maximum number of images per post. I'll finish this review off next time when I look at parts 3 and 4 from Sonic the Hedgehog #286 and #287. Stay tuned!

[xtruss]

Illustration by Nicholas Konrad / The New Yorker

2022 in Review: Eight Times Science Exceeded Expectations in 2022! From Asteroids to A.I., This Was a Year of Scientific Superlatives.

— By Matthew Hutson | December 28, 2022

It’s no surprise that we keep finding and building cool things. But the things that we find and build can still surprise us. 2022 was another year full of science and technology advances. It’s too soon to identify the most important developments of the year; science takes time to mature. But here are eight moments that were remarkable to me, to experts in their respective fields, and even to those doing the work.

We Nudged an Asteroid

Our solar system is something of a minefield. Between the sun, the asteroid belt, and the planets and their rings and moons lies a sprinkling of smaller rocks, some of which cross paths with Earth. We’d like to avoid sharing the fate of the dinosaurs, and so have endeavored to spot potentially troublesome intruders; currently, we know of no asteroid larger than a hundred and forty metres across that poses a serious risk of collision in the next century. But what we don’t know can still hurt us, and we must prepare for the unexpected.

Last year, SpaceX launched a nasa mission, led by Johns Hopkins University, called dart—the Double Asteroid Redirection Test. As David W. Brown explains, in his blow-by-blow recounting of the mission, its target was an unassuming pair of asteroids, seven million miles away, dubbed Didymos (measured at nearly half a mile across) and Dimorphos (a bit more than five hundred feet across). At the time, Dimorphos orbited Didymos every eleven hours and fifty-five minutes. The dart spacecraft, whose mass at launch exceeded half a ton, was not meant to obliterate either object. But it could nudge one or both of the bodies off course—a proof of concept for the idea that humanity could change an incoming asteroid’s trajectory, averting a collision with Earth.

Success was defined as a head-on collision with Dimorphos that would alter its orbital period by at least seventy-three seconds. On September 26th, dart hit its mark at roughly fourteen thousand miles an hour, reducing the orbit by a full thirty-two minutes. (Earth-based observations measured the effect by tracking how often the two bodies eclipsed each other.) It might have been a shot heard round the solar system, if not for space’s deafening silence. Scientists are still analyzing data on the aftermath.

In the movie “Armageddon,” from 1998, Bruce Willis’s character detonates a bomb on an Earth-bound asteroid, preventing the movie’s titular event. A quarter century later, we have the technology to achieve a similar aim more elegantly. dart-like spacecraft, teamed with careful observation and early detection, now gives us the ability to defend the planet we’re otherwise doing so much to despoil.

Magic Mushrooms Reduced Depression

Many people who’ve taken psychedelics understand their healing powers. I’m one of them: twenty-seven years ago, I profitably enlisted acid and ecstasy in my battle with depression. Because of long-standing laws restricting recreational, therapeutic, and even scientific use of the drugs, research is still catching up. But, this year, findings on the efficacy of psilocybin—the magic in magic mushrooms—against depression have left even some scientists dazed.

Though antidepressants are often a first line of defense in treating depression, they frequently fail to provide relief. More than a quarter of a billion people worldwide face what’s known as major depressive disorder, according to estimates, and some studies indicate that at least thirty per cent of them contend with so-called treatment-resistant depression. This past month, The New England Journal of Medicine published the results of the largest-ever clinical trial of psilocybin, in which two hundred and thirty-three people with treatment-resistant depression took part. They each received just a single dose—one, ten, or twenty-five milligrams—under professional guidance. Three weeks later, those who’d received the largest dose rated significantly lower on depression than those in the lowest-dose group.

Another study, published in Nature Medicine, demonstrated the benefits of psilocybin over the antidepressant escitalopram (whose brand name is Lexapro). Using neuroimaging, the researchers also explored some possible mechanisms for the treatment: they found that the patients who received psilocybin experienced an increase in the integration of activity across the networks in their brains. Perhaps psilocybin, by increasing cognitive flexibility, allows people to escape ruts of thought. Another study, published in the Journal of Psychopharmacology, looked at patients with major depressive disorder who’d received two psychedelic sessions. A full year later, seventy-five per cent maintained at least a fifty-per-cent reduction in their depression scores.

Authors of all three studies told me that they were surprised by the treatment’s durability. Work remains to be done—but these findings suggest that some people may be able to find a way out from under a disease that was previously immovable.

Earth Got Hotter—and Hotter

In an era of global warming, we expect temperature records to be broken. But they are now being broken with surprising frequency, and by surprising amounts. In July, the United Kingdom suffered a historic heat wave: the previous high had been 101.7 degrees Fahrenheit, but at least forty-six weather stations met or exceeded that temperature, the hottest by 2.9 degrees. Of more than a hundred weather stations that had been collecting data for at least half a century, the majority broke ceilings. One village cleared its hurdle by a hold-my-(warm-)beer 11.3 degrees.

The U.K. wasn’t alone. Other countries in Europe saw records topple, and the continent as a whole experienced its hottest-ever June-through-August, on average. Huge wildfires spread across the continent. Meanwhile, India suffered an apocalyptic heat wave this spring; several continents experienced drought; and China weathered its hottest and longest heat wave on record.

In August, an international team of eleven scientists published an analysis in the Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences titled “Climate Endgame: Exploring catastrophic climate change scenarios.” They argue that the international target of maintaining temperature increases well below two degrees Celsius (3.6 degrees Fahrenheit) has led research to focus on lower-end warming scenarios, leaving us unprepared for more drastic changes. Carbon-dioxide-caused loss of stratocumulus cloud decks could heat the planet by an additional eight degrees Celsius by the end of the century. “Particularly worrying is a ‘tipping cascade,’ ” they write. Damages to the environment are likely to be nonlinear, leading to low-likelihood outcomes that should be looked into. The article notes that climate change might trigger or exacerbate blackouts, famine, pandemics, mass extinction, nuclear war. In short, we should expect the unexpected.

Brain Cells in a Dish Played Pong

A staple of science fiction (and philosophy) is the notion that you’re just a brain in vat, connected to the real world through wires. Another is that you’re just a simulated being in a virtual universe. An experiment reported this year in Neuron combined elements of both tropes. Layers of brain cells wired up to a computer experienced a world consisting of a variant of the video game Pong, and learned to play.

The researchers grew some brain cells out of human stem cells, and collected others from mouse embryos, then placed about eight hundred thousand mouse or human cells onto arrays of electrodes in dishes. (A human brain has roughly a hundred thousand times more neurons than that.) The electrical activity of two regions of neurons on each array were translated into the up-and-down movement of a paddle on a video screen. The position of the bouncing ball was fed back to a different set of neurons in the network; when the paddle connected with the ball, all the electrodes delivered a series of zaps, reinforcing the neurons’ behavior. Within a few minutes, the system could handle rallies of a few hits.

Karl J. Friston, a neuroscientist at University College London who is one of the paper’s co-authors, told me that, although the team had hypothesized that the neurons and silicon would be able to speak the same language and learn in this way, they weren’t at all sure that their “DishBrain” would work. “It was the same kind of surprise one might have if you came across a talking dog, ” he said. “Moreover, the fact that human neurons were able to sustain play longer than mouse neurons was a bit like discovering that dogs are better at talking than cats.”

The setup is more than a party trick. It allows for exploration of weighty questions: how cells communicate, how biological and synthetic intelligence combine, what happens in brain disorders such as epilepsy and dementia, and how drugs affect the brain. The group now plans to test the effects of alcohol on their system. “How would a ‘drunken DishBrain’ cope with playing Pong?” Friston asked, in a recent press release. Beer pong just got serious.

A Blockchain Reduced Its Energy Use by 99.95 Per Cent

Few mortals understand blockchains. What you may have heard is that they’re somehow related to cryptocurrencies, such as Bitcoin, and that they use prodigious amounts of energy. Crypto assets consume more energy than many countries—a big problem.

In September, an important blockchain altered the way it verifies transactions, drastically cutting its energy use. Bitcoin, the first blockchain-based cryptocurrency, verifies transactions through a system called “proof of work”: computers around the world race to solve complex puzzles, and the winners get some cryptocurrency and the ability to add blocks of transactions to the ledger. It’s all the problem-solving that’s so energy intensive. By contrast, the Ethereum blockchain, launched in 2015, was meant to use “proof of stake.” Would-be validators would place their own cryptocurrency into a kind of escrow; when a block is added, they’re rewarded in proportion with their stake. (If the block’s contents are fraudulent, you lose a portion of your stake.) Proof of stake is far more energy-efficient—but it was so devilishly difficult to develop that Ethereum launched using proof of work instead.

In 2020, the Ethereum developer community created a parallel ledger called Beacon Chain that used proof of stake. After nearly two years of testing, they set a date for the Merge, which would combine the two chains into one that used proof of stake. Many people worried the Merge would overturn crypto markets; some experts compared the procedure to swapping plane engines mid-flight. But, on September 15th, the Merge succeeded with hardly a hitch. A developer named Tim Beiko told me that the blockchain looked so surprisingly stable afterward that he “had to double-check” the performance graph.

Ethereum was already more important than Bitcoin in many ways. It undergirds not only a cryptocurrency but, also, one-of-a-kind digital art works called N.F.T.s, automatically executing “smart contracts,” and many computer applications for finance, entertainment, and communications. The Merge now makes Ethereum transactions faster, cheaper, and more energy-efficient, by an estimated 99.95 per cent. In a Merge viewing party hosted by the Ethereum Foundation, one developer commented, “This is just an incredible feat. . . . People using the network will have no idea that anything has changed. But everything has changed.”

We Found Two-Million-Year-Old Mastodon DNA

DNA is fragile, geologically speaking. The double-helical molecule that gives cells their marching orders starts disintegrating as soon as we die—and even while we live—as our own enzymes cut it up. It’s also not immune to water, air, or microbes. One study estimated that its chemical bonds have a half-life of around five hundred years. Discover a very old specimen of DNA, and you have to assemble especially tiny puzzle pieces if you want to put the genome back together.

Last year, however, researchers managed to reconstruct DNA from two Siberian mammoths that were more than a million years old, using material extracted from their molars. That work nearly doubled the record for oldest DNA sequence. This year, a second group of researchers nearly doubled the record again. As they reported in Nature, they found their DNA not in a long-in-the-tooth tooth but in sediment deposits at the mouth of a fjord in northern Greenland, where, around two million years ago, plant and animal remains had washed up. The researchers found DNA in forty-one soil samples at five sites. Much of it had adhered to quartz or clay, which may have protected the delicate strands from the ravages of enzymes. “The preservation of the DNA and our ability to extract and sequence it has been a major leap for us,” Kurt H. Kjær, a geologist at the University of Copenhagen and one of the paper’s lead authors, told me.

The team was able to gather genetic material not just from one or two species but from more than a hundred types of plants, as well as animals including mastodons, reindeer, and horseshoe crabs. The researchers figure that the landscape, which is now a frozen wasteland, must once have been about twenty degrees warmer. The work provides clues to an earlier way of life, and demonstrates what’s possible going forward. Scientists have a hope of reconstructing biological lineages and pictures of entire historical ecosystems. They may even extract genes to help today’s plants and animals cope with a changing world.

Artificial Intelligence Learned Diplomacy

You’d think we’d learn our lesson: we set challenges for artificial intelligence, say it won’t meet them anytime soon, and then find that A.I. has vanquished us before we expect. It’s happened with chess, Go, poker, and StarCraft II. In 2019, Noam Brown, a computer scientist at Meta, had wrapped up his work on A.I. for multiplayer poker and was casting about for a new challenge; he chose one that he thought would safely keep him occupied for at least a decade.

The task was Diplomacy, a board game in which seven players controlling army and navy units vie for control over a map of Europe. Players can attack or support each other, and each turn begins with a round of nonbinding negotiation. You might propose back-scratching, then deliver backstabbing. It’s a game of trust and deceit, hammered out through the placement of pieces and the crafting of language.

As Brown told me, a bot for Diplomacy sounded like sci-fi. A.I. can strategize (see AlphaGo) and it can speak (see ChatGPT). But most language-spewing A.I.s have no notion of truth or falsehood. Meta, however, developed a system, called cicero, that learned to ground its utterances in context and goals. After observing human Diplomacy games and playing copies of itself, cicero joined an online community and played forty games. In a paper published in Science, Brown and his team reported that it outperformed nine out of ten players. Moreover, its written speech was so slick that only one player noted his suspicion of its silicon insides. On one occasion, the system, playing as France, went down for ten minutes due to a technical fault. When it came back online, it replied to England’s appeals—“Would really love to hear from you!”—with a made-up excuse: “i am on the phone with my gf.” Humanity is not ready.

We Generated Fusion Power (Finally, Sorta)

What counts as an expectation? In fusion power—the shotgun marriage of atoms to create electricity—progress is perpetually (and paradoxically) expected to underwhelm. An old joke holds that fusion is always thirty years away.

This month, though, researchers inched closer to controlled fusion power. Nuclear fusion, which occurs inside stars, requires intense heat and pressure; most fusion-power experiments heat hydrogen and confine it using magnetic fields, while others blast pellets of hydrogen with lasers. The National Ignition Facility, at Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory, in California, takes the second approach. The facility’s main aim is to contribute to nuclear-weapons research, with sustainable energy as a kind of by-product. Completed in 2009, at triple its initial budget, it was originally expected to achieve “ignition”—in which the energy emitted from the fusion reaction exceeds that imparted by the lasers—by 2012.

Progress was slower than expected: ignition finally occurred on December 5, 2022. A hundred and ninety-two lasers briefly blasted a cylinder the size of a pencil eraser, which emitted X-rays, which compressed a contained pellet of frozen hydrogen atoms, some of which fused into helium, releasing energetic neutrons. All told, the target received about two megajoules of energy (enough to light a hundred-watt bulb for five hours, but condensed into a flash) and released more than three—a little more energy than the scientists expected. The outcome both missed and surpassed predictions.

Science moves in fits and starts. Don’t expect the stadium-size National Ignition Facility to lead to a neighborhood fusion reactor anytime soon. For one thing, while the lasers conveyed two megajoules of energy, powering them required three hundred. So much for net gain. And any reactor made using this design would require rapid-fire lasers that blast multiple targets per second. The new fusion results are exceptional—and yet everyday fusion is still, probably, at least thirty years away. We’ll just have to manage our expectations. ♦

[ratt-trap-afton]

☀️SUPER STAR🌟

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

I kinda find it funny how, if Ed didn't break up with Bella and then chase after Victoria in NM, we might not have gotten the events of Eclipse. Girl was just vibing with her makeshift "guards," and he had to mess it all up by having her see how newborn armies work and inspire her. Do you think Vic would've still would've gone after Bella if not for NM's events (and how it'd go down)? Cause low key I think it's funnier if she wasn't a danger but Ed made her into one jfksaldjf.-Sw

I think she would have.

True, Victoria comes up with the newborn army scheme after Edward chases her down to Mexico, but she also doesn't use it right away. She tests the waters in Forks for a very long time before she decides to invade.

In other words I, sigh, agree with Edward on this: Victoria was coming back to murder Bella Swan in vengeance no matter what was happening.

Without the newborn army, however, things would have played out very differently.

A Bit on the Romantic Tragedy Penned by Edward Cullen

First, a note, Edward had always intended to leave Bella. From the moment he realized he was in love with her he told himself that he would one day leave her. It was just a matter of when.

In Twilight, he's torn. He knows he shouldn't be a part of her life, that bringing her into his world almost necessitates her becoming a vampire, but he also really doesn't want to let her go. He doesn't think he's strong enough to do it.

And as Bella keeps getting herself into danger he gives himself more and more excuses.

If he's not there, then Bella will get crushed by a van or raped in an alley or eaten by bears. Her number's up, and Edward is single handedly fighting fate to keep this angel alive.

Bella needs Edward, therefore he can't possibly go.

The birthday party put things back into perspective. Edward's family is the most dangerous threat to Bella there is, Edward himself really may lose control one day and devour her, and unless she turns (which Edward absolutely does not want) then she has no future with him.

The family has to leave now.

However, if there's no birthday party, then Edward doesn't have that catalyst and reminder. He likely decides to himself that he will leave Bella after graduation, his family will move towns, Bella will attend whichever university she attends, and he will have had a few wonderful years with Bella pretending he's a regular high school boy dating a regular high school girl.

When Bella then dies a natural human death sometime later, Edward will go to Volterra and kill himself (and force the Volturi's hand when Aro refuses to do it).

Of course, he'd probably break here too, but that's a different story.

I do think without Jasper's slip up and the birthday party, that Edward would have stuck around for New Moon.

The World Without Bella's Birthday Party

Bella throws the fit she didn't in canon.

She doesn't want this birthday party, she never asked for this birthday party, AND WHY DOES BELLA ALWAYS HAVE TO HUMOR ALICE?!

Bella has had a summer filled with Alice. In canon, this was a delight, in this world Bella realizes that maybe they spend most of their time doing what Alice wants to do rather than what Bella wants to do.

Alice is clearly throwing this party for Alice's sake, everyone knows it, and Edward tells her, "Please humor my sister and be a good sport."

Isn't this party supposed to be about Bella?

Alice is terribly upset and does not handle any of this well, Edward tells Bella to be reasonable and be the better person and give Alice this party, Rosalie thinks this is all petty bullshit but has mild respect for Bella on calling Alice out on this, and Carlisle is rubbing his temples somewhere trying to let the children deal with this themselves.

In the end, they compromise, Bella's birthday is Edward taking her out to dinner at an expensive restaurant in Seattle of Alice's choice, Bella wearing a fancy Chanel dress that Alice selected for her.

Bella's still embarrassed and miserable, but at least there aren't a billion pink candles.

As a result, there's no birthday party, no papercut, and no dumping.

The next several months instead are spent with Bella and Alice in a battle of wills and a real rough spot in their friendship. Bella tries to explain to Edward that Alice treats her like a doll, not a person.

Edward, of course, has no idea what she's talking about.

Bella fails to realize that Edward also treats her like a doll and not a person.

Laurent's Scouting Mission

As in canon, Laurent is probably sent by Victoria to scout. Victoria probably never left the area which means (remember this is book universe where Riley was in California) that she never turned Riley.

Without being all over the Forks area killing hikers, probably fewer wolves are turned. Yes, the Cullens are in the area, but they've been there three years, are very non-threatening, and in that time only Sam shifted.

We don't see the deluge of shifting until after the Cullens have left and Victoria starts actively attacking the area.

(Yes, this is worthy of a meta but that meta is not this meta)

Regardless, Laurent shows up, Sam's not sure if he's one of those friends of the Cullens or not, and Laurent walks in to see that all the Cullens are there.

Just like he expected.

Because Victoria has sent him to die.

Carlisle feels a headache coming on but is not shocked to see that Laurent's eyes are red again after only a few months. (Though this explains the sobbing phone call that Carlisle got from Irina asking if he'd seen Laurent because that beautiful, perfect, man has gone missing!)

Laurent provides some weasley bullshit explanation anyway. He asks, though it's really more of a demand, that he join the Cullen coven (much larger than the Denali, very gifted, and very powerful). Carlisle says no, Laurent has to stick to the diet if he joins the coven and he has to mean it. Given Laurent's current appearance, it seems as if Laurent is not willing to do that.

Laurent then begs them to let him stay: Victoria will murder him otherwise (and oh by the way she's after your Lunchable Bella Swan). That gets Edward into action, he demands Laurent's death and that he then hunt down Victoria personally.

Carlisle politely suggests that Laurent, rather than seek shelter from them who he knows Victoria intends to cross paths with, go back to the Denali and give the diet another whirl.

Laurent flees back to the Denali, Irina is ecstatic to see him. Victoria's not even surprised.

The family discusses what to do about Victoria. Carlisle would rather not hunt this woman down on hearsay alone. Jasper thinks they should have killed her to start and letting her escape was foolishness, he told them she'd be back. Edward for once is with Jasper, Victoria must be destroyed before she can harm Bella. They look to Alice and, yeah, there's a good possibility that Victoria will be back.

Edward is torn between hunting down Victoria and protecting Bella in person. Jasper leaves before he can make the decision, which of course angers Edward beyond belief, but, well, he guesses it is what it is.

Edward decides to not tell Bella that a vampire is after her life: it'll just worry her.

Jasper's Hunting Mission

Jasper likely has a devil of a time catching Victoria, as he did the first time, because of her gift. He ends up having very long phone calls with Alice as he tries to coordinate a successful solution to this.

Because Edward never left Bella, she never sought out Jake. She never forms her friendship with Jake nor realizes the secret behind the shapeshifters.

Billy tries to give Bella a few more ominous warnings but there's no getting through to this girl.

Edward never proposes to Bella because he's intent on leaving her after graduation. He does not tell Bella this though she constantly worries about it.

He assures her they can have a long distance relationship at college (he has no such intentions).

Victoria is kept out of the Forks area by Jasper and likely takes the one obvious route left to her. She has nothing left to live for, and it doesn't matter how much terror she lives in the Volturi, if this means her death then so be it.

She goes to the Volturi and narks on the Cullens.

Victoria Narks

It... does not go as planned.

Aro placates Caius with many excuses: this girl is in her primary schooling, is the only daughter of a police chief, she cannot simply disappear.

Carlisle is likely waiting until after she graduates and can disappear across the country.

And yes, technically this James fellow had bit Bella and they had their perfect chance but... Well, Aro will talk to Carlisle, it is not breaking the law yet.

Aro travels to Forks in person with Renata, shows up on Carlisle's doorstep, and says, "We need to talk."

Aro lays down the law, this girl better be turned after graduation, and Aro can only stall Caius so long. Also, great to see you, you built yourself a coven and that's perfectly marvelous.

Edward, of course, throws a fit but the law is the law and the law just visited them for tea. Aro makes it very clear that either Bella is turned, she dies, or Aro will have no choice to take adverse action against Edward at the very least (if not Carlisle and the rest of the Cullens).

Aro also points out this is an unsustainable relationship that's not good for anybody. Yes, it's too bad the girl has no choice, but they really should have thought of that before Edward walked around strongly hinting he wasn't human.

Edward insists they vote.

The vote doesn't go the way he likes.

Esme doesn't want Edward to live in misery after Bella dies, Rosalie doesn't like the idea of turning Bella but it appears they have no choice, Jasper (via conference call) doesn't want to be the one to eat Bella and it's stupid given the VOLTURI IS IN THE ROOM FOR THIS VOTE, and Carlisle notes that it appears Bella has no other option and at least this seems to be what she wants?

They will turn Bella after graduation.

Edward smashes a TV.

They tell Edward to tell Bella, it should come from him, Edward never does.

Instead, out of nowhere, he asks her to marry him and elope. They can live on a deserted island somewhere.

Bella thinks this is stupid and says no.

Edward dies inside.

Victoria Chooses Death

Victoria is out of options, the Volturi did not come through, and she wanders out of Volterra in a daze.

She guns it for Forks with Jasper hot on her tail. If there's one thing left for her, she will murder this Bella Swan before she dies. She fails, Jasper catches up to her in Forks and murders her.

No one tells Bella.

Graduation

After graduation, Carlisle picks Bella up. Bella has no idea what's happening, Carlisle assumes she does. Carlisle lays down the game plan, she's going to take a summer abroad before school starts, travelling with Alice, then both she and Alice will disappear in an accident.

Bella asks him to hold up, what the hell is he talking about?

Carlisle realizes with dull horror that Edward never told Bella. He awkwardly explains that the Volturi personally came to visit and, well, they have to turn Bella into a vampire.

He's very sorry.

Bella's very on board with this, she asks if it can be Edward that does it.

Carlisle says no, that's not a good idea.

They stare at each other.

Carlisle cannot believe Edward didn't tell her.

Edward and Bella do not get married nor does she have sex with him as a human.

[andoqin]

Dramas I've watjched this year Pt 1

This is gonna be all the dramas I started and... have either paused or dropped for various reasons.

If I paused them I might go back to them at some point but if I dropped them that's it.

Mad for each other I like the main actors and I found the Netflix says I finished this... I have no memory of doing that, which should tell you a lot.

Doom at your Service - this one is on hold for now and I actually feel like finishing it because the premise and the actors are really for me and the mood the show brought to the table fits with my end of the year mood. I do think being able to binge this will be beneficial, because I think it wont actually hold up to much scrutiny especially in the latter half. (On Hold for now, 4 eps watched)

True Beauty - I knew this was going to be a hard sell for me and I was right. I always have trouble with high school shows, part of it is my age and part of it is the saccharine spin shows will often put on that. I dropped this fairly early on and I don't think i'm going to give this another chance. The main actress tries, but it's not enough and the cute lesbian romance my heart wanted was not going to happen :<. (Dropped, 4 eps watched).

Novoland: Pearl Eclipse - now granted I didn't technically watch an episode - 2021 had me too wary to start sth and I wanted to give it some time, but I followed along closely enough for the first 10-15 eps on my dash... and well considering how hyped for it I was and how much I *wanted* to watch it it deserves a spot on this list purely on account of the collossal waste of talent, time and audience patience this show is responsible for. (0 Eps watched but way too much time spent reading rants)

Awaken - This started in 2020, but I didnt watch (parts of) it until it was complete. I tried 3!!! times to finish this, with crime shows it's often a matter of me being in the right mood/the show hitting me in the right way until I'm invested because there's no romance (usually) to hook me emotionally. The reason I tried to watch this three times is purely Nam Goong Min and a little bit of the premise, but my god the editing is so bland, the show so averagely shot and the writing not good enough to carry it. (Idek how many eps I watched but I tried!!! 3 times!!!! damn you NGM!)

Inspector Koo - This one I'm DEFINITELY going to finish, now that it's all complete but currently I'm not in the mood for it at all. I can see it's strengths and I'm loving Lee Young Ae and Kim Hye Joon playing off of each other (and what a delightful dynamic that is!!) and the surrounding characters are all very interesting (need to find out what Santa's deal is!) but for some reason the thought of actually finishing it fills me with blah at the moment, which the show doesn't deserve. (6 eps watched - on hold for now)

The Sword and the brocade - TANG SONG YUN, WALLACE CHUNG!!! in a historical drama together, in pretty pretty costumes. It should have been great! But this drama suffers from its length, and even the beginning has some hilarious weird things about it (the fact that he saves her from drowning and its... nbd??? apparently????????) but I was willing to overlook that because they had a lovely understated sort of chemistry, and Tang Songyun really tried to get everything out of her role, but the writing just let down the show so hard I dropped it at the midway point and just never bothered to pick it back up and basically forgot about it. (20ish eps watched. Dropped)

Jun Jiu Ling - I was initially excited for this, I mean I didn't enjoy the source novel a whole lot, but it had Peng Xiao Ran! and Jin Han!!! maybe they can save it but lmao no, I watched 2 episodes and basically peaced out. PXR looked bored and lifeless and Jin Han is not a strong enough actor to really elevate a shoddy script. This isn't to say he's *bad* but if the writing doesn't favour his strength he's completely adrift. This, coupled with the blah production values makes this an instant miss. Only read @purplehanfu's hilarious recaps for this show! (2 eps watched. Dropped)

Jirisan - JOO JI HUN, Jun Ji Hyun!!! I'm just noticing a trend in the last three dramas. I get overly excited for the cast, because I think they largely pick dramas I like, but man the case of blah writing continues. This added to some eh directing had me watching parts of ep 1 and 2 with some skipping, 3 and 4 with more skipping and just not watching more. (Sort of 4 eps watched but not really, Dropped)

One the Woman - Lee Ha Nee is a delight and this show is one I might actually finish, since I do love this kind of premise and the acting of the supporting cast is helping a lot. I do think Lee Sang Yoon is not giving his best performance here, it's not bad but LHN outshines him so severely I honestly wish she was with anyone else. The problem is that I watched it to the halfway mark and I dread the second half which I can see will have a very bad Kdrama 2nd half downturn. Sigh. For LHN I still might though, thank god for the skip button. (On Hold, 8 eps watched.)

Rattan - This had some beautiful visuals a truly bonkers premise, but I think when I was watching the eng subs were sus at best and I kinda forgot about it. Watched about 4 eps?? No idea. Someone tell me how it ended up being as a complete drama please, I dont think my dashboard knows this drama exists haha. (Dropped, possibly might finish at some point)

Song of Youth - I started this for Bai Lu, but good lord her character was so unpleasant and they did sth so weird to the color grading/saturation for this drama I pretty much forgot it existed after 4 eps. (Dropped)

Bossam - Steal the Fate - Another one I was really into for the premise and the actors. Jung Il Woo seems to fare much better in historicals and him being a widow/bride abductor who accidentally abducts a princess was genius set up for me. Once again though the writing was not strong enough and while I did appreciate seeing JIW shirtless the writing left me bored witless. (Dropped)

Sisyphus: The Myth - AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH AHAHHAH ha hahahahaliksdjsakjd. I have a wholeass fucking rant on this trash dumpfire of a drama. Well only episode one but jesus fucking christ. Do not watch this. People didn't listen to me and continued and wasted their fucking time. Turns out Cho Seugn Woo can pick trashfires after all, after his string of strong strong dramas and performances. It's like he forgot what acting properly was? I'll just avoid PSH dramas from now on. (I wasted 1 hour on this episode and then whatever time I needed to write down my rant, which is honestly more than this drama deserves).

Hometown - I have only 4 episodes left on this one but by god it was just getting stupider by the second. Manipulating/Hypnotising people via sound/speech? I know that the police in dramas can't be too good otherwise we wont have a mystery or a drama, but this is just getting ridiculous. And everyone seems to have swiss cheese for brains. The production value is pretty high, it looks cinematic, the directing is actually pretty good I think but the script is just... no thank you. (8 episodes watched. Dropped)

Happiness - I'm currently pausing this, but I will definitely finish since I'm on ep 8 and I love the way the show has dealt with its premise and its main characters. Plus PHS is really beefy now??? Good Stuff. (On Hold)

Vincenzo - The hilariously fake italian stuff and the general vibe just didnt work for me so I dropped this fairly early on. I do enjoy the gifs I see on my dash but that's it. (Dropped)

The Devil Judge - It is very homoerotic, so I will have to finish, I just gotta find the time and energy to overlook its nonsense premise, which kind of overstretched my suspension of disbelief. (On Hold)

Taxi Driver - I found the first case pretty interesting, and I liked the lady cop but the core premise was a bit eh and something in me seems to not like vigilante justice all that much because I didn't really like our main characters. (Dropped)

Racket Boys - This show is pure unadulteraded fluffy goodness, but it didnt hook me deeply and that's the only reason I like shows like that. If the vibe is for you though, check it out, the kids feel like actual friends/found family. (Dropped)

Mouse - LMAO lmao lmao lmao no. Once again a DYSMAL fucking first episode that told me that finishing this show would drive me batshit. Plus the whole eugenics angle???? Miss me with that shit please. Also the cops in this universe have single digit IQs I don't know how they survive. (DROPPED LMAO)

A Tale of thousand Stars - I loved LOVED LOVED the trailer for this one, but the premise should have rightly scared me off, transplant love stories are always iffy at best for me and I just couldnt connect with the main characters and didn't believe the actors when they tried to act like they were in love. (Dropped)

Yumi's Cells - I found this to be a surprising delight and I was even into the little emotion animations, but I made the mistake of watching it while it was still airing, catching up and then forgetting about it. I might still continue watching, but maybe once S2 comes out. I do like the way it handles relationships and the fact that for once it's not going for a "HEA" in the traditional sense. I also think making this not a full 16 ep show was a smart move. (On Hold)

22 Shows of which i dropped 16! and 6 are on hold...

[defdaily]

BEAUTY+ Magazine May 2021 issue featuring JAY B: The Second Act

Translated by defdaily

Among the past, present, and future, which do you think about the most?

The present. I believe that the present is the most important. The future makes you worry constantly, and the past makes you regret constantly so I try not to think about them. Now, I try to make decisions I won’t regret.

Do you think about your current state and things you want to do?

I contemplate a lot about the state of my emotions or what to do in my current situation. Ever since I was young I thought it’d be good to live like the flowing water, tranquilly. You know how water changes its state based on its surroundings. I want to be someone in the free water-like flow.

Has your life until now been like free-flowing water?

My life itself may seem spectacular, but I think the flow of my life itself has been. There was a lot I was lacking in since debuting with GOT7 but I tried my best to show a colour suitable for GOT7. I changed myself according to the container I was in, and instead of being stagnant in one place, I think I flowed here well.

You seem to be careful with choosing an agency. What factors are you contemplating about?

I think about whether I will suit the company. It might be tiring for others to see because I’m so meticulous, and I may seem selfish but I think that I should be selfish right now. My future depends on it as well as the future of the company I will be going to. I think I will have to be selfish for both sides to produce good results.

The members showed their natural sides in the Encore music video. Looking back to 7 years of GOT7’s activities, what is the most memorable moment?

Since we’re performing artists, I remember a lot of moments on stage. 2-3 years ago in Thailand we performed our solo tracks for 7 days and then performed OUT all together as a group. I think a lot about how we were all so excited to perform. I think of those times we were together as seven.

What kind of team was GOT7? Judging as a leader?

The direction of GOT7 I thought of was a fun and free-spirited team. Since Look came out, I’ve been telling the company that we “shouldn’t try too hard to set the mood or look cool. Songs with a style like Look will be our strength.” I don’t think things turned out the way I thought they would. But as you can see from our last album’s song ‘Breath,’ it feels like we went in circles and came back to our original spot. There is some regret about how it would've been good to go more in that direction, then we could’ve shown a more solidified colour. But as a result, it’s a fact that we became a team capable of pulling off various colors.

Did you make those suggestions thinking about the members, because you thought it was what set you guys apart from other groups?

I talked a lot with my members. It seemed like they had the most fun with bright, fun, and chill performances. With performances like that, we think about harmony rather than how each of us can look cool. It leaves a greater impression on the fans when we are visibly having fun.

It seems like the public has also watched over the growth of JAY B. Starting as a bboy to a main vocalist, and writing many remarkable K-pop songs. You also played a huge role in establishing GOT7’s colour. What led you to grow and develop in that way?

I thought that if I felt like I wasn’t growing, then I should quit music.

Does liking it not serve as a reason?

Because it’s my job. Being able to do what you like as a job is something to be grateful for. But if my skills don’t meet the standards and if there is no growth despite my efforts, it’s only right to do it as a hobby. I didn’t think that there was no growth when listening to my music. I thought it could work if I tried a bit more.

What was a song you feel like you reached a new level?

‘Teenager’ and ‘PAGE.’ I think the team’s color was completed with those songs. It helped me realize that I had the potential to write such songs. At first, I was persistent with sticking to my musical color. Later, I changed my thoughts and decided I should write songs suitable for GOT7. It’s something I should obviously do as a member of the team. I think that’s where ‘Teenager’ and ‘PAGE’ lined up very well.

The album 7 for 7 containing ‘Teenager’ was a turning point for GOT7. Through that album, we got the feeling that you guys found your color and most importantly, the quality of the songs written by the members was great. What happened during that time?

I think that’s when our potential exploded (laughs). GOT7 had three turning points. The first was ‘Stop Stop It.’ We heard the song and thought “Wow, this is it.” But the outfits were a bit regretful. The music and the visuals didn’t really match. We wore overalls (laughs). The second turning point was when the Flight Log trilogy was released, and the third was ‘Teenager’ of 7 for 7. That song later led to ‘Look’ and we got to sing ‘PAGE’ and ‘THURSDAY.’ Then we suddenly tried to change our direction to ‘ECLIPSE’ and ‘You Calling My Name’ but eventually ended up back to ‘Breath.’

When you listen to ‘Look’ or ‘PAGE’, do you feel like GOT7’s musical colour reflects your own preference and style? And you’ve made many GOT7 songs with ØFFSHORE crew.

It’s hard to say it wasn’t reflected. But according to my standards, they are songs I wanted to write for the team. I talked a lot with the crew about what (kind of song) should GOT7 do and what would suit GOT7. ‘Look’ was a song that was released because the mood suited GOT7 well. After that it was ‘PAGE’ and ‘THURSDAY’. Our colour was included naturally.

The 8 members of ØFFSHORE are consistently releasing albums. How is that taking place?

We talk about what we feel and decide on a theme whenever we want to release an album. When we decide on a theme, each person would write songs relating to the theme, we select songs and release an album. The themes usually come up as we are talking casually about life. For example <Scene 1> contains the process of leaving on a trip until coming back. Rather than the lyrics, the moods of the songs are like that. When you start the trip you listen to fun songs then (we) get a little calmer as the trip comes to an end. I organised the order of the songs for <Scene 2>. When talking with friends, you usually start by talking about work then you talk about life, the future and then you end up talking about love and relationships. I organised it as that kind of story. There is no specific goal. We spend the revenue from albums on production for the next album. Because everyone in the group are people who make music, there are things that were settled music-wise through these promotions.

You must have been influenced by your friends a lot not only musically, right?

Yes, of course. Regarding life too. I listen to what my older brothers/friends and my parents have to say. I think about the stories of the people who experienced it first once again. One older friend said “We are not doing this for a huge goal, don’t get stressed and let’s just make music.” When I was pondering about how to do better, I heard that and it hit me. Should I say, those words painted my life with colour. I felt like working with energy and strength didn't suit me at the time.

Is it true that you have made 3 albums? Do you only work on songs every day?

Yes. I usually stay in the studio when I can't do my hobby. And since the people I meet are friends who do music too. I don’t know if I can release an album but I’m preparing and working on it.

What kind of albums are they?

In the past, I made powerful “performance-type” songs, but for this album the mood is calmer and the sound is minimal. There is an acoustic feel too. There is a soft tender album, a sad album and a melancholic album too.

Where did the desperation come from?

The desperation of life. I can’t talk about it in detail but there was a topic I really wanted to talk about when I made the album. It could become an album that people frown upon. But, for the music I do alone, I thought I should include honest stories that match my situation.

Did you write about the pain and difficulties you’ve felt all this time? On the surface, you seem to be a recognised leader of a successful idol group, but you must have faced difficulties.

Yes. It’s one part of my life too. Looking back, the difficulties were caused by my own tendencies rather than external factors.

Is it because of the perfectionism you push onto yourself? It seems like the uncertainty and fear contributed to creating your current self.

Yes, I’ve never thought of myself as a perfectionist but people around me often tell me so. They must have a reason for saying that so I ended up acknowledging it myself. I was really ambitious with GOT7 too so I felt a lot of disappointment and stress. I work hard because I know if I don’t, it’ll come back to me as regret. It’s okay to look back to times when I didn’t know well enough and think, “I should’ve done this, I was naive.” What I hate is doing just enough because of reasons like lack of stamina despite knowing what I need to do and knowing that I’m not yet satisfied.

Until now, you’ve made music with the name Def. and through the JUS2 comeback, you also let us hear dreamlike songs from a baritone. Escaping from the category of idol, you now need to create a new identity – is there a kind of music you would like to do fresh?

It’s hard to say it rashly now but, whatever I do, I want to do it properly and solidly. I do prefer a relaxed and easygoing mood, but when it comes to music genres, R&B, hip hop, urban and pop will definitely be the groundwork. However, I do hope that my image will not be fixed to one (genre). It’s no fun to keep doing the same kind of music. And I’m sure there are times when I’ll have to become a little wilder. It’d be great if (I had) a free image. I also hope it’s an image that I won’t be embarrassed of. After coming to a new company and releasing an album, if it doesn’t do well, I think it would be right for me to leave.

Aren’t you fearing failure too much? How would it be possible to achieve what you wish in one go?

Of course, I’m scared. I’m very afraid of failure. Naturally, it won’t be possible to succeed in one shot, but I do have the standard of my Maginot line*. That is what I am referring to. I am usually the type that thinks of the negative things first. It’s not good to be unprepared for the worst-case scenario.

*Maginot line – taken from the fortifications that created the French line of defence, now coming to mean “a defensive barrier or strategy that inspires a false sense of security”

You’ve said that GOT7 has not disbanded, however since all the members are under new companies, coming back together as GOT7 will not be an easy thing to achieve. What kind of method are you thinking of?

I’ve talked a lot with the members. It’s our goal to write one song each month for GOT7. If it’s 1 year, then that’s 12 songs. All our members write songs, so if each one of us does that, then we can accumulate a lot of songs. Everyone is in different companies which will have their own situations, so I can’t make promises for certain, but our goal is to release one album every year. It would be great for that to happen, and I personally think that it should happen. Because that is the minimum courtesy we should show to our fans. It would be even better if we could have a stage.

It would be a new concept.

We heard that the release of our song ‘Encore’ was in an unprecedented manner, and this made my sense of duty and responsibility bigger. Because the steps we take in the future could influence the direction that others may take in the future too. I thought it was the end, but it’s only just the beginning,

Amongst your many hobbies, is there anything you would like to recommend?

Camping. Activities such as setting up tents and cooking really make you think. Even just sitting down in a chair surrounded by nature is really great. Waking up to the sounds of birds singing is amazing; the sound of water running too. Recently, I bought a folding furnace and create my own little fire space. It could be seen as something embarrassing but while having the fire there, if negative thoughts come up, I write it down and then burn it in the fire. If you think that camping may be tiring, glamping would be good too.

Since the name of the magazine is Beauty+, I wanted to ask, is there something that you thought was beautiful recently?

People passed by me laughing and making some noise, and as I saw that, I thought that laughter was something really beautiful. I realised why smiling and laughing is a beautiful thing. It’s not just laughing or smiling, but the emotions that encompass that are really so beautiful. Everything natural is beautiful.

Translated by defdaily.

[ignitification]

The Culling Game - N°19.

Finally, in chapter 143, we get a sort of insight in what are the goals, or at least the long term aspiration of Kamo Noritoshi aka Getwo. Given my lack of English vocabulary I had never heard the word ‘culling’ used in such a context, which brought me to make a research into it. Well, the definition goes that ‘culling’ means literally ‘selective slaughtering’ of a certain part/type of a species - which aligns with his previous statements of ‘modifying human brain’ to adapt to sorcery, as vessels and/or people possessing innate technique. A new Dark Era, a new Heian Era, as in his words.

In particular, ‘to cull is to remove an animal, especially a sick or weak one, from a herd or flock. It is a reduction of the numbers of an animal population achieved by selectively killing some of its members’.

So, usually the goal of culling is to reduce the population and this brings us to two questions: why exactly does Getwo obtain from dwindling down the population of sorcerers (that are already such a few) and why does he have to do it in a such a restraint time of 19 days? Of course, these are question that popped into my mind because I think that these are two of the aspects that could light to what is happening at the moment, and how does it involve Tsumiki, Yuki and the sealing of Gojo - but it may as well be that I’m asking the wrong questions. 

My best bet is definitely the sealing of Gojo: as this process might be definitely made in order to weed out the ‘weakest’ links of society in order to rebuild it in such a way that fits Getwo standards, Gojo cannot be around for two reasons. He is way too strong, which means that he would defeat everyone in this game or on the contrary, he would try to save everyone - and neither fits Getwo’s plans. 

However, this brings me to the considerations which I wanted to type out. Having a look at the rules of the Game, I noticed that the number 19 is mentioned twice, and has sort of a grave relevance. And since, nothing (and when I say nothing, I mean literally nothing) is left to chance in JJK, I asked myself why. Why does the specific number 19 appear, not once but twice in such a singular and fundamental set of panels, shaping the entire arc to come?

Well, I might have found a partial answer. 

See, number 19 is quite particular and has, not surprisingly, a sort of dark story. First of all, Eclipses of the Sun occur once in 19 years. And second, according to the Babylonians the number 19 is unlucky, and it was a great day to portent evil (or good).  

As for the Eclipse of the Sun, it is funny to note that this occurs when three celestial corps align, and in particular when the Moon aligns in between the Sun and the Earth. As Japan would be the cursed energy monopolistic country, which would cause great distress for the world and especially the East - it might assume a dark parallel: and the Sun (Japan) being obscured by the Moon (in this case cursed energy) from a perspective of Earth (the other countries). Of course, it has definitely ties with the fact that Sukuna has awakened and found a suitable vessel (which also, as we saw, triggered the response and the awakening of other curses, as the one who killed those who attended the same bridge as Tsumiki during the night). This eclipse might also be the only way to allow this ‘Evil’, or culling to take proper form and to actually cloud people’s judgement. This might be a meaning for Eclipse: when people’s minds gets clouded by their technique and the overflowing of cursed energy, and by then they are obliged to act on it. 

On the other hand, the number 19 means also awakening, enlightenment and inspiration. It is the completion of a cycle, beginning and end and the discovery of a new one to open your potential and enter a new stage and evolution of humanity. This meaning, fits to a T the explanation that Getwo gives, as confusing as it is, to the motivations why he has released the seals and why he reformed the brain of people in order to see and fight curses. He wants humanity to refine this stage of stagnation and to be beyond the current situation. However, he also wants to select the few strong people who are actually worth something to bet on. And this brings us to the same question: why? What is the point of doing this and why exactly does this game entail? Does Getwo want War? Supremacy? A new human race which dominates cursed energy?

Furthermore, as the number 19 stands for the ending of a cycle, and the beginning of a new one (the beginning of Heian, again) - it also stands to serve humanity in every possible way. Number 19 brings independence - which might be the independence from jujutsu sorcerers and society (as everyone who has been marked now has the opportunity to actually see and fight curses) and at the same time independence from the cursed energy. Indeed, people would need to discard their safe life, in order to gain these independence and embrace instead their newfound and original state. 

This number, biblically, means ‘perfection’ and a ‘perfect order’. Does that ring any bell?

On a final, funny note, the Tarot Card number 19, is the one of the Sun. 

[bellaslilpapercut]

The combination of how the cullens behave towards people and how little they care (as per therealvinelles metas) and fuckmeyers metas and how often they are incredibly immoral and strange, what is their motive for vegitarianism? Like, their reasons for why they do it are clear sometimes but what is their internal justification for it? What do they think their motives are?

This is an interesting question!! I think for some of the cullens it's clearer and more consistent than others:

Carlisle: was prepared to die rather than violate the "sanctity of life" right from the moment he was turned. Now, what he considers life is definitely influenced by his (and meyer's) christianity*. He had no qualms with eating animals as a human or as a vampire. He also cares about the shifters up to a point. Based on book canon, he would never kill one of the pack members and he does value the treaty more than the others Cullens (especially Edward) but I think he also sees himself as somewhat superior to them. He ran tests on Jake's blood without consent, valuing his own curiosity over Jacob's right to his own body. But that's a whole other meta lol. Anyway, I think Carlisle, like many christians*, values "human" (he's added vampires and shifters to this) life period over quality of life. He didn't let Rose die because it would have been a "waste" but he didn't consider what a curse immortality would be for her. Alive in any condition is better than dead for Carlisle and I believe that is his core motivation for continuing the diet (and for turning the 4 vampires that he did).

Jasper: I put him second because I agree with @therealvinelle that Jasper might have figured out the vegetarian diet on his own eventually even if he'd never met alice. Jaspers gift made it painful for him to feed and in Eclipse he tells Bella that he went so far as to starve himself for periods of time just to avoid the emotional pain of feeding. His self control still isn't perfect but he is the only Cullen who personally needs the diet, not for moral reasons like Carlisle, but because feeding from humans is almost traumatizing for him.

Esme: her only motivation for the diet is carlisle. Honestly during my reread Esme comes across as nice, not kind, and very nearly agoraphobic. She avoids most humans except for Bella and only works in isolation (renovating a house by herself during NM). She isn't doing the diet because she likes being around people and needs to control her urges and blend, she isn't doing the diet out of compassion (she told Edward he could eat Bella in MS if that's what he needed to do), and she has no physical or emotional need like Jasper to refrain from eating humans. She only does it because Carlisle, the man she had romanticized and adored since she was 16, "saved" her and taught her this diet. She does it for him.

Rosalie: Rosalie is also in a unique position within the Cullen clan because for her the diet is not about morals or need but control. And with her "origin story" so to speak, it makes perfect sense. The last moments of her life were senseless violence. For her, whether she would admit it or not, the diet is entirely about exerting control over her current undead life. Regaining the agency that was taken from her in her last moments of life and in the first moments of her life as a vampire. You can see it in the way she speaks of her record as well- she doesn't care that she isn't killing humans or drinking them, she cares because she has self control. She is empowered by her spotless feeding record and she feels justified in the deaths she did cause (even brushing off the two guards she killed to get to Royce).

Edward: Edward only does the diet for his own internal theater. He's wrapped up in his own unfolding drama- when he turns away from Carlisle he turns himself into a vigilante, scouring the night for sexual predators, drug abusers, pedophiles, and deviants. It's very Film Noir for him. He tells Bella that he couldn't bear to kill "good" humans which was why he went after "villains" when he did break from the diet but as we learn in MS when he fantasizes about killing literally the entire Quileute tribe, Edward doesn't care about killing "good" humans either. Edward would kill anyone as long as the reason was justified by his own theater. He'd kill Mike Newton out of "love," he'd kill deviants on the street to "prove" himself, he'd even try to kill to whole Volturi just to martyr himself and "prove" that they really were evil after all. Edward only does the vegetarian diet while it fits with his self image. With Bella, he sees himself as saintly, "like carlisle," punishing himself with thirst so that he deserves the Bella Madonna he invented in his own head. And of course, a lot of his self image and image of world is warped into a wonky Carlisle shape because he's fully obsessed with his creator. He does the diet in part for carlisle (which we see in NM when Alice "sees" edward killing hundreds of tourists in volterra and then changing his mind so that he doesn't disappoint carlisle) and in part because of his own mental theater.

Emmett, Alice, & Bella: all three do the diet because "that's what cullens do." They aren't motivated by love of carlisle, like Esme, even if they may all respect carlisle (tbh I wouldn't believe that any of them feel love for anyone though that comes down to meyers ability to show genuine love in the first place. But again that's a whole other meta lolol). They don't really care about humans at all as all three have the "slip ups happen, lol" attitude about eating humans. Alice does the diet because she "saw" it, Emmett does the diet because Carlisle turned him, Bella does the diet because she's a Cullen. If edward wanted to leave and go on a binge-eating road trip through every city in america, Bella would tag along.

Renesmee: honestly I don't remember BD well and I'm not there yet in my reread but I vaguely remember Renesmee being capable of biting humans (and Jacob) without killing them. If this is the case, I don't think Renesmee will be following the diet for very long at all because why bother reigning herself in if she can sip on a human with no real consequence of murder?

Of course, I assume Renesmee will still be "vegetarian" in meyers threatened sequel because the out of universe reason the cullens have to be vegetarians is simply, they need to be superior. They need to stand out from those other nasty vampires who are only vegetarians for sex or worse, aren't vegetarians at all! The theme of valuing existence over quality of life is really consistent throughout the saga, from Carlisle's choice to turn the cullens that he did to Bella's decision to keep Renesmee. Its a very pro-life series through and through.

* I didn't want to get too wordy there but I mean the US's specific brands of christianity like evangelicalism and mormonism. In the US, christians value "sanctity of life" over quality of life in every way. (Ergo why it's easier to pass abortion bans than universal healthcare here.) I don't think meyer really paid much attention to historical accuracy when she wrote Carlisle (if she thought london had sewers in the 17th century, I doubt she would know the nuanced differences between modern and early protestantism) so I think his own religious beliefs are more reflective of modern US christianity than 17th century britain's christianity. *

[z-h-i-e]

People you’d like to know better asks 

Tagged by @spiced-wine-fic. \o/ Thank you for helping me procrastinate XD [also I <3 Terence Trent d'Arby too!]

Three ships: Erestor/Glorfindel (how can I not), Maedhros/Gildor (it's mine, all mine), Elrond/Celebrian

First ever ship: Panthro/Cheetara

Last song: Every Rose Has Its Thorn - Poison. I was washing dishes and it's part of my songs I sing when doing chores playlist (found here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5E5LJfDRpqBk80sl046QDh?si=c08c4a8b86ab4d20 )

Last film: Normally, I watch The Ten Commandments every Easter Sunday. This year--no one was showing it and my option was something else or pay Amazon to stream it. I watched Barabbas instead. I was impressed at the camera work on simulating a solar eclipse -- then found out they filmed specifically during a solar eclipse. That's some one shot only dedication there.

Currently reading: The Code of the Harpers. It's a D&D book [2nd edition]. I'll be playing (wait for it) a harper in the next game.

Currently watching: I watched the end of SNL from two weeks ago before chores. I might watch last week's after I finish this.

Currently consuming: I had an after dinner donut. I usually don't do desserts because I have whatever sweet things (like my cocoa) at breakfast to keep sugar low in the evenings, but I had a free donut thing that expired today, and they're always better same-day...it was strawberry custard filled. But also, @lferion showed me a poem the other day that I keep ruminating on.

Currently craving: Friday. I had last week off for Spring Break, and returned to work to find out there's at least one day I'm probably going to need to both open and close, a day some VIPs are going to be coming through for a tour, and lots of little things here and there that need to be done. But it'll be Friday soon, and Friday is D&D day! And then my lawful good ass can mess up all the plans of the mostly chaotic neutral party XD

Tagging...everyone who wants to. I know that's kind of a large group, and some of you may have already filled this out, but hey, if you'd like to, go on and do it again! It can be the asks that never end!

[marshmallow-phd]

Scarlet Moon

Genre: Scarlet Heart Ryeo!AU, Time Travel!AU, Alternate History, Royalty!AU

Pairing: OC x EXO OT9

Summary:  This isn’t Gwen’s time. She was from the modern era, with technology and electricity. But during a solar eclipse, she’s transported back into a previous life in a time and place she does not know. Now, as the foreign daughter of a merchant living in a prince’s household, she must tread carefully, watch her back, and guard her heart. But with the princes locked in a battle over the throne, the chances of her making it out alive might disappear.

Part: 1 I 2 I 3

                                            ********

The paper sliced across the skin before any action could be taken to avoid it. A high pitched hiss followed by a short whine. The flap of skin that had been separated was being dyed red. 

Gwen stuck her index finger in her mouth to sooth the stinging. It helped a little bit. Still sucking on the appendage, Gwen stumbled over to the supply closet and opened the thin metal doors with the other hand. She kept this feat up as she opened the first aid kit and pushed around the different types of bandages, trying to decide which one to use. The cut was right on the tip, right where you never want it to be. It was hard to get a band aid on that kind of cut. Eventually, she found a smaller version of a standard design and ripped the paper covering opening. She wrapped the band aid around her index finger before heading for her desk. It was back to the files that had injured her in the first place. 

The pile was tall; by her standards, at least. Gwen had been dealing with it for the past hour. The dates on the files needed sorting, separating the ones could be sent to long-term storage. She almost gave out another whine, but she didn’t want the others to hear and start the relentless teasing. Her coworkers were quick and very witty. 

It was a friendly floor. Everyone joked and played around without the fear of feelings being hurt. If Gwen didn’t have to do the actual work that came with the office space, she wouldn’t mind staying here forever. But dealing with these files and demanding customers and meeting quotas was not what she wanted to do for the rest of her life. Not that Gwen knew exactly what it was that she did want to do. She’d tried a lot of things over the last few years in her slow going college years. Marketing, history, education - hell, she even took several makeup courses and skincare lessons that focused on natural resources. None of it stuck, none of it held her interest, though the information could be recalled if needed. 

“You alright there, Gwen?”

Drudging up from the bowels of her thoughts, Gwen looked up at Kimberly, who had stopped at her desk on the way back from the printer. 

“Yeah,” Gwen nodded with a sigh. “Just… ready for the week to be over.”

“Ain’t that the consensus,” Kimberly laughed. 

“How are the dogs?” Gwen was seizing the opportunity to distract herself from work. Kimberly owned two dogs with opposite personalities. One was the well-mannered older brother, the other was the skittish, hyper younger brother. She loved to talk about them and there was never a shortage of entertaining stories. 

Kimberly rolled her eyes. “Kurt is back to back to demanding his breakfast at five a.m. Oh, but Kent now does this thing where he walks backwards. Whenever he starts doing that, we’ll beep at him. You know, like the garbage trucks? Then he gets all shy and hides his head.”

Gwen couldn’t stop giggling at the thought. “Oh, the poor thing!”

“You’ll have to see it next time you come over.”

“I can’t wait.”

As Kimberly walked away, Gwen sighed. She didn’t get out too much and the humor that most of her socializing outside of work was with one of her coworkers wasn’t lost on her. Just another dart to throw at the board that was Gwen Sinclair. 

It wasn’t like her life was a complete disaster. Really, it could have been worse. She could imagine a thousand different scenarios that she could be living right now that were worse off then her current situation. Truthfully, if glanced at from the outside, Gwen’s life was simply... mediocre. She was blessed with tolerable roommates, an okay job that provided a nice paycheck for a twenty-three-year-old who had yet to finish college. But… the loneliness was killing her and overall, she was craving for something more. 

She was exhausted from obligation and responsibility. She wished to go back to the days where she read about adventure and intrigue and imagined some day living that out herself. After having those words in her hands, she felt empty in her reality. Somehow, each day felt even more draining. 

With the end of another workday, Gwen packed up the files that still needed to be sorted, locked up her cabinets and tugged on her coat as she waved goodbye to Kimberly and the others. A few other coworkers were chatting excitedly about the solar eclipse happening in a few minutes. Gwen, however, was annoyed. Annoyed at the fact that all anyone - online or in person - could talk about was the solar eclipse, as if it was the only one that had ever been seen in this generation. When one person mentioned the eclipse, it was fine. When it was every post and every comment and every conversation, it felt a little ridiculous. Gwen couldn’t care less about the event. Getting home was her current priority. But escaping wasn’t that easy. 

For the millionth time, Gwen rolled her eyes as she scrolled through the newsfeed, waiting for her car to warm up in the parking garage. The weather was cold and dreary, slowing down her progress on getting home. Puffs of steam escaped her lips in the below freezing temperature. Other employees hurried past the back of her car to get to their own tiny sanctuaries. An alert for a new email popped up at the top of the phone screen. From the quick scan of the notification, she saw that it was from her eastern history professor. He wanted to go over the latest paper from class. Oh, no. That was never a good sign. 

Gwen huffed, threw her car into reverse, and pulled out of the parking space. First the papercut, now this. 

Since all her classes were online, Gwen had the minor luxury to not be forced to talk to her professor face to face, which surely would have been humiliating. But it couldn’t be avoided completely. She’d email him back once she arrived home. Or maybe she’d put it off until tomorrow. Dealing with this was the last thing she wanted to do. Stress was already causing her skin to revert back to puberty, she didn’t need this as well. 

Her phone rang and she struggled to answer it while carefully winding down the levels of the garage. It was Jaynie, the favorite of the roommates.

“Hey, Janie, what’s up?”

“Oh, nothing, I was just wondering if you were coming straight home today.”

Gwen smirked, knowing exactly where this was going. 

Over the past several months, a bit of an obsession had developed with Korean dramas. The shows the two of them consumed were different from the same old, boring American television and there were years worth of stories to choose from. Currently, they were in the middle of another romantic comedy. While Gwen loved the storyline and was in a constant state of swoon, as soon as the credits started rolling, she was reminded how pathetically uninteresting her life was. But those sixty plus minutes of pure escapism made it all worth the crash that came afterwards. 

Gwen tried to wait patiently in the line to leave the parking garage, but her frustration was getting the better of her. It was stop and go, stop and go, stop and go.

“I’m planning on it. That is, if people decide any day now to not drive idiotically.”

“Ugh, I had the same problem on my way home.” 

Curious. Both of them worked in the downtown area. “How did you get home so fast?” Gwen asked.

“I got off a little early today.”

“Lucky.” Her accounting job often led to flexible hours. Gwen was jealous of that level of freedom. 

The road was slick from the freezing rain. Weather like this brought out all the stupid drivers as if this wasn’t a yearly occurrence. She was careful to look both ways before exiting the garage and inching into the street. What she didn’t account for was the other emptying lot across the street. A large black SUV pulled out right at the same time, but went too fast, hitting the water that was slowly turning to ice on the asphalt. 

With no time to react, the SUV slammed into the side of Gwen’s compact car. Glass from the driver’s side window shattered and sprayed her face. Her phone flew out of her hand. The crunch of metal hit her ears before she could fully process what had happened. With the force of the collision, her forehead slammed against the steering wheel before the airbag deployed. The sound of screams echoed around her, but the words were unintelligible. Slumped over in her seat, a shadow creeped over the scene. Through the slits of her barely open eyes, Gwen watched as the sun disappeared behind the moon. Then all went black. 

                                           ********

The water was what brought her back. It filled her lungs and surrounded her on all sides. She flailed her limbs, desperate for traction that couldn’t be found. Her clothing weighed her down, the hems being pulled as if hands had gripped tight on them. She needed a miracle. And a miracle she got. Two hands held onto one of her wrists and pulled her to the surface. 

She gasped for air as her rescuer struggled to bring her to shore. The cloth that covered her felt as if it weighed a hundred pounds, making it nearly impossible to move. Water made its way up her throat, spilling over her lips. Her lungs were finally clear. They took in as much oxygen as they were allowed, burning with each brath. 

“Lady Gwen! Lady Gwen!”

A young girl blocked out the bright sun. She shook Gwen’s shoulders desperately. 

Gwen’s brain processed that the girl was not speaking English, but… she could understand her. The girl’s damp, dark hair was pulled into halves on either side of her face held in place by wide red straps. She looked at Gwen with deep concern, like a lifelong friend. But Gwen was sure she had never seen this girl before in her life. 

“My Lady, can you hear me?” she asked frantically.

“Who are you?” Gwen finally choked out. 

That made the girl pause in her panic. “What?”

Slowly regaining her strength, Gwen pushed herself up to her knees. As her eyesight cleared, she took in her surroundings. Gone were the tall metal and glass buildings, traffic lights, and speeding cars of her modern home. Now all that surrounded her were trees and a sandy beach of a large, calm lake. In the distance, wooden houses with curved rooftops, painted in bright reds and greens dotted the horizon. The heaviness that weighed her down was a dress made of too many layers and of no western fashion that she’d ever experienced before. 

Whispers bounced around the rocky shore. All the faces that were looking on with concern around were unfamiliar. Gwen grabbed the hair cascading down her back, but it was still the red she knew, darker from the dampness of being pulled out of the water but still her hair. 

“Where am I?” she asked in a quiet, gasping voice.

“My Lady, don’t you remember?” The girl panicked. “You’re in Songak. Goryeo.”

“Goryeo?” Gwen screeched. All the minor details she could summon up of the country came rushing to the forefront of her mind. It was information overload and her brain couldn’t handle it. Her lungs tried desperately to keep up, breathing in as much air as they could, but her throat was closing up from the panic. The landscape blurred and she fell to the ground.

                                          ********

She was in a bed this time when she regained consciousness. The room was cold and dimly lit with soft, orange candlelight. A man, Caucasian unlike the others, sat beside the bed on a stool, worry etched into every facet of his face.

“Gwen, sweet, are you all right?”

English. He was speaking English. But that was a footnote of comfort to the bigger problem. She still didn’t know what had happened to her or how she got here or who these people were that seemed to know her. The man, who was about in his mid-forties with salt and pepper hair, smiled down at her, though his eyes were confused. “Gwen, does it hurt anywhere? Can you tell me if you hit your head?”

Gwen took a moment, to calm down and to evaluate what she was feeling physically. Her head didn’t hurt, nor did any other part of her body. Wordlessly, she shook her head. The man seemed relieved. 

“Are you all right?” He asked again, a different meaning under the question this time. “Chae Ryung said you couldn’t remember her or that we were in Goryeo? Do you at least remember your papa?”

Gwen weighed the choices in her mind. There wasn’t a mirror around, but she started to wonder if she had taken the place of someone else. Someone who knew these strangers. She could say that she didn’t know any of them - the truth - but would they think her mad if she spilled too much? Perhaps she could say she remembered a few things. Like him, if he is this poor girl’s father. Why am I here? In this time? 

Choosing to comprise with herself, she gave the smallest of nods. “Papa.” Sitting up, she pulled him into a hug and there was something comforting about his embrace. This body remembered him, at least. 

“What happened?” she asked after she let go. 

“Chae Ryung said that you’d wandered off again and she found you, you’d been the water a long time.” The man, Papa, sucked in a breath, his eyes beginning to water. His genuine concern over her wellbeing made Gwen choke up as well. “The doctor said you stopped breathing. That could explain your lost memories.”

Good. The excuse was already in her hands. That should make it easy enough to play along while being forgiven for any missteps. But they shouldn’t be in Goryeo. That didn’t make any sense, historically. If anything, they might have been in Joseon – late Joseon. Was this some sort of alternate timeline? Or maybe she hit her head really hard in the car crash and this is really all a dream from the stress of her paper and too much K-drama. 

Yes. Too much K-drama.

That had to be the explanation. This was all a strange dream. Which meant, she could play along and not be afraid. She could ask questions and live out the day until she woke back up in her own time, most likely in a hospital with a bandage on her head and her mother fretting over her. 

She glanced around the room, taking in the architecture that she had only ever seen in pictures. In person, it was even more stunning and intricate. This wasn’t an ordinary citizen’s home. Interesting. What else could her brain come up with? “Why are we in Goryeo?”

“Your father’s a merchant, remember?” He spoke slowly. Each word was deliberate, giving Gwen time to process. Good filler for her mind. “I made a large fortune here and planned on taking you back home, but… your mother is buried here. We couldn’t leave her behind.”

A wave of emotion hit out of nowhere. Though her mother was alive and well, it didn’t stop a tear from escaping. “Mama.”

Papa wiped it away with a coarse finger. Gwen gasped back, surprised by the realness of the touch. Her dreams were never this intricate. The blanket strone across her lap scrunched in her fingers. It was cold and soft… and very real. 

She wasn't dreaming, was she?

Confused by her reaction, Papa paused for a moment before continuing his explanation. “The eighth prince is graciously letting us stay with him while we wait on the construction of our home to be complete.”

The eighth prince?

Panic grew tenfold. If this wasn’t a dream, then she was in very big trouble. If history told her one thing, it was that proximity to royalty was the most dangerous place to be. Gwen might possibly have been able to skate by if they were simply staying in some unknown village far from the capital, but they were in a prince’s home. Which meant they were in… Songak, the capital city, just like that girl – Chae Ryung – had said. Right under the King’s nose. Breathing became difficult again. Each one was shallow, barely letting in any oxygen. Gwen could feel her chest tighten and her vision blurred. 

“Gwen!” Papa jumped up and tried to keep her straight to give her lungs as much room as possible. He switched to Korean as he called out over his shoulder, “Someone, get the doctor! Now!” Shuffling sounds echoed off the floor on the other side of the sliding door and then faded away.

A minute later, breathing no better, two men and a woman rushed inside along with Chae Ryung. The older man stepped in front of Papa and took his place. He pushed Gwen’s shoulders gently until she was lying down. Two cold fingers against her wrist checked her pulse. The other, much younger man stepped up to Papa.

“What happened?”

Papa frowned. “It seems she’s lost some of her memories. I was explaining why we were here when suddenly she had trouble breathing.” He stopped, struggling with his own breath. “I’m sorry we’ve become a burden to you, Your Highness.” 

Gwen’s breathing was regaining strength and she was able to concentrate on the conversation. So that was the eighth prince. He was younger than she would have guessed, handsome even, if she had to focus on something other than her lack of breath. 

“Do not think such a thing,” the Eighth Prince replied. “Your presence has greatly improved the household. Lady Gwen will get better with time.”

Papa bowed, obviously grateful at the response. He turned to the woman. “Lady Hae, may I enquire after your own health?”

“Today is a better day,” she smiled, though her pale, drained complexion said otherwise. “Please, don’t worry about me. Keep your thoughts for your daughter.”

The doctor released Gwen’s wrist, satisfied with the improvement of her pulse and breathing. He stood up.

“It was a mild panic attack,” the doctor said calmly to Papa. “If it happens again, she should lie down and focus on her breathing. The incident at the lake seems to have taken a toll on her body. She simply needs rest. In time, her memories and her body will recover.”

Gwen didn’t agree with that statement fully. This body might get better in time, but there was no way memories that didn’t exist would ever return. One by one, the occupants left the room until it was only Gwen and Papa remaining behind. Silence hung in the air. After a moment, Papa sat down on the stool and took Gwen’s hand. 

“I was worried I had lost you,” he whispered. 

Gwen’s eyes fell down to the blanket covering her legs. Things were becoming clearer to her now. This was not a dream and she was no longer Gwen Sinclair from the twenty-first century. Something must have happened. She didn’t know what exactly had occurred or what would happen now, but she was here. And little did this man – known only to her as “Papa” – know that he had indeed lost his daughter. The face may be the same, but the Gwen inside was different. She would try her best to be good to him, at least until she found a way to get back to her own family. She gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

                                          ********

The next morning, the doctor, along with the Eighth Prince, came back to check on Gwen. The doctor commented that her pulse was stronger and that she seemed well on the road to full health. However, he still insisted on keeping her on bedrest.

Bored with these same walls and too curious about her temporary home, Gwen sat up. If she was going to be here for a while, she might as well get to know it. “I’m fine. Please, don’t make me stay in here all day. The sun and air is good for you, isn’t it?”

The sudden rebelliousness against the doctor’s suggestion did not seem to sit well with any of them. Gwen gave Papa a pleading look. A father couldn’t resist those eyes. He sighed, turning to the doctor. “Perhaps, a little exercise in walking around the grounds would be all right?”

The doctor looked reluctant, but he agreed. “But she shouldn’t overexert herself.”

“Chae Ryung will stay with her,” the Eighth prince ordered. “If you’ll please excuse me, I must meet with my brothers.” He bowed and left, followed by the doctor.

Having heard her name from the hallway, Chae Ryung shuffled quickly inside and over to Gwen, holding out her arms for the latter to balance on as she slid off of the bed. “Are you sure you want to go outside?”

Gwen nodded. “Yes. Perhaps seeing more of this place will help jog my memory.”

Chae Ryung tilted her head. “How can your memory jog?”

Gwen snorted, both at Chae Ryung’s confusion and at herself for the slip of the modern phrase. “Sorry, I just meant, maybe my memories will come back.”

“Oh.” The look on her face was enough to make Gwen laugh again. 

Gwen scolded herself internally. She had to be more careful with her words. Every step was one on thin ice. She couldn’t change who she was, not completely, but she would have to pull back. Chae Ryung, however, felt safe, like a shelter from the rain. With her, Gwen could find answers that might be dangerous to seek elsewhere. Straightening her shoulders, Gwen smiled broadly and took her newest friend’s hand. Chase Ryung grinned brightly at her and guided her out of the room.

[addictedtomanga]

Shoujo manga recommendations - love triangle

1.     Ao Haru Ride

While most girls desire popularity among boys, Futaba Yoshioka wants the exact opposite. After attracting many admirers back in middle school which resulted in her being shunned by her female classmates, she decided that high school will be her chance to revamp her image. Therefore, she starts acting unfeminine and indifferent to boys, allowing her to make some “friends” along the way.

Little does Futaba know, her life will take another drastic turn when her first love, Kou Mabuchi, returns after his sudden disappearance years ago in middle school. Despite his extended absence, the fond memories they shared together still linger in her mind, and she wishes to return to those days. But she realizes that the sweet, gentle boy of the past has completely vanished, and in his place stands someone cold and pessimistic. While he admits that her feelings for him back then were mutual, he warns that they can never go back to the past, as everything, including him, has changed.

2.     Beauty Pop

Although a truly gifted hairstylist, Kiri Koshiba has no interest in using her talent to pursue fame and fortune, unlike the three popular boys in the "Scissors Project" at school. Determined to become the best makeover team in Japan, they give showy makeovers to handpicked girls. As much as Kiri tries to shy away from the Scissors Project spotlight, she finds herself responding to beauty's call...

3.      Blue Sky Playground

On a cold day, Mirita finds discovers a hidden room with a kotatsu (a table that keeps one warm) inside. The kotatsu belongs to two of the most popular and handsome twin brothers in school. Both immediately kick Mirita out. However, Mirita becomes even more determined to get back into that room. What love triangle will commence?

4.    Boku kara Kimi ga Kienai  

Hotaru managed to get in the same high school where Haruna-sensei teaches to see him again! However, on her first day there, she meets a very unpleasant guy who looks just like her beloved sensei...?

5.      Dear!

Rei, Kazuma and Banri are close childhood friends. Rei, who's better than any guy, the cool and smart Kazuma and Banri who's mischievous and bright have the perfect balance. It's normal for the three of them to be together all the time and without thinking of themselves as men and woman they're just together. But something happens after which Rei starts to think of Banri as a "man", so the relation of the three changes...?!

6.       Faster than a Kiss

After losing their parents, Fumino and her brother hop from one relative to another. Getting tired of all those moves, she finally decides to quit school and work to support her brother on her own. As they sat on a park bench, her teacher appears in front of her and agrees to her demands of marrying and supporting both her and her brother!! Is he serious or just playing around...?!

7.      Haru Matsu Bokura

The timid and reserved Mitsuki Haruno seeks her dream sociable life at high school. But despite her best efforts, her ineptitude to speak her mind impedes her from befriending anyone. Nonetheless, while working at a cafe one day, she has a fateful encounter with her school's four idolized basketball players—Towa Asakura, Rui Miyamotoi, Ryuuji Tada, and Kyousuke Wakamiya. At first glance, these four heartthrobs come off as arrogant individuals, responsible for invading her cafe's safe haven. Soon after though, as they uphold their promise of keeping her workplace a secret, Mitsuki starts to see them in a new light.

Hence begins an improbable friendship between Mitsuki and the boys, as her days of solitude finally comes to an end. However, things aren't always so simple—with her heart waning toward Asakura and the female students green with envy, is there a chance this friendship could blossom into something more?

8.      Hirunaka no Ryuusei 

Suzume Yosano has spent the entire 15 years of her life in the countryside, so when her parents decide to move overseas for work and leave her with her uncle in Tokyo, she finds herself in a whole new environment. On the way to her uncle's house, however, she gets lost and faints.

Waking up safely at her uncle's house, she learns that a strange man had carried her there and that he happens to be an acquaintance of her uncle. Moreover, when Suzume goes to her new school for the first time, she discovers that the weird man in question, named Satsuki Shishio, is actually her homeroom teacher! Now, Suzume must adapt to her new school and make friends, since her blossoming high school life in the city has just begun!

9.    Hoshi to Kuzu - Don't Worry, Be Happy   

Anzu is poor but very ambitious and aims for a bright future. Her first step is to be student council president but that chance is destroyed by the equally ambitious and egocentric Yamabuki. She just has to settle for being the vice-president.

10.  Iya da Nante Iwasenai 

Anzu currently works part-time at a beach house however when it comes to serving male customers, she can't help but be cold and shy. When she accidentally spills a drink on one of them, a male co-worker saves her who ends up being her childhood friend Rei. Anzu is happy to reconnect with Rei, however, Rei might be after a bit more...?

11.   Kaichou wa Maid-sama

Seika High School was an all-boys school, but it has since turned co-ed. Misaki Ayuzawa is the first female student council president of the school, eventually earning the nickname of the "Demon President" due to her mastery of Aikido and imposed iron rule.

However, Misaki harbors an embarrassing secret—she has to work at a maid café to support her family. If anybody from her school was to find out, her reputation would be utterly destroyed. And after Takumi Usui—the most popular boy at school—discovers her secret, that might just happen.

12.  Kaoru-kun to Hana no Mori 

Kaoru is as kind as a prince towards girls. She would love to met men stronger than her! And then, two men appeared in front of her...

13.  Katakoi no Tsuki

Kurumi likes Souta-kun, but what happens when Kurumi witnesses Souta-Kun hugging one of her friends? Could Souta-kun already have someone he likes or is Kurumi misunderstanding? What can she do if that girl is her friend, too!?

14.  Katakoi Triangle

Sekiya-san of the cultural library has an unrequited love for Yuuki-kun. The one who cares about Sekiya-san is the popular Kasai-kun, who is also Yuuki-kun's friend! And, what's this? Yuuki-kun is rooting for Kasai-kun?! It seems that everyone's feelings are one-sided...or are they?

15.  Kimi to Koi no Tochuu 

Just when I thought it'd start with you, you disappeared; I would've never thought this... Yuna has lost trust in love after her first boyfriend Takumi broke up with her. Shiina-kun from her class has already confessed to her twice and now finally she approached onto love another time. But Takumi appears in front of her!! What will the swaying Yuna do!?

16.   Kyoudai Gokko

Growing up, Takara Rio has always wanted siblings. So when her parents decide to move overseas without her and tells her she will be living with two people around her age, she's cautiously optimistic. But they turn out to be brothers who fight like cats and dogs. Is this what having siblings is like?

17.  Last Game 

Nothing is beyond Naoto Yanagi, heir to the Yanagi business conglomerate. Idolized for his athletic and intellectual competence, looks and wealth, Naoto lived like a king during his elementary school days—then entered Mikoto Kujou, a plain, gloomy-looking transfer student.

Due to her low financial status, Naoto was initially apathetic towards Mikoto. But despite having just arrived at his school, she completely eclipsed him in everything by consistently scoring top marks in exams and placing first in athletic events. After a brief confrontation with her that left him shocked, Naoto vowed to outdo her no matter the cost.

Ten years later, they are now students attending the same college. Having failed to defeat Mikoto throughout middle and high school, Naoto decides they will have one last game: if he can make Mikoto fall in love with him and then break her heart, it will be his victory. However, he finds himself falling in love with her instead...

18.  Last Notes 

Haru and Aki are the masters of the branch store - an old-looking and very unusual shop. It sells only one thing: a special kind of incense that, when burned, allows the user to see and speak with the spirit of the dead person that appears in the smoke. Every customer has a different reason for calling up the dead, and how they use this unusual opportunity is up to them...

19.  Love Berrish 

15 year-old Yuya Fukushima has always wanted to live on her own, in an inn next to her school. This new dorm of hers, the Strawberry Tree Dorm, turns out to be a place with weird people -- a girl that touches her chest out of the blue, a guy with one of the shortest tempers ever. BUT the good thing is, there's a really handsome and nice guy that she fell in love with instantly! Also, not to mention a crazy cat who adores him (looks can be deceiving...). Yuya's life has just became much more interesting...

20.   Mata Ashita

Towa's always been shy around guys, despite being a total tomboy. This has crushed her chances of ever having a boyfriend, but a perhaps fateful encounter on the first day of high school might lead to love? But will it be with the surprisingly kind "angelic" delinquent, or the popular yet secretly "devilish" prince?!

21.  Momo Raba 

Chieri (Cherry) was living an ordinary life, until her sister Ichigo (Strawberry) suddenly left her child Momo (Peach) on Chieri's doorstep. Momo is an infant; how is Chieri supposed to take care of a baby while still in high school!? To make matters even more frustrating, two guys are fighting for Chieri's love...!

22.   Monokuro Shounen Shoujo

Kureha Mimachi, a 15-year-old girl, has just transferred into Shiritsu Kenhono High School. However, there is something weird about this school, it is actually a school where the Princes and Princesses of the beast-kind go to! Even though Kureha is human, she is there as a way to help the students lead their lives peacefully with humans and has the role as the "rabbit". Will she be able survive without being eaten by the students? Only time and her hidden bodyguards will be able to answer that...

23.   Ouran High School Host Club

At Ouran High School, an academy where only the children of the rich and powerful attend, there exists a club consisting of the most elite of the student body: the legendary Host Club. Within the club's room, six beautiful, bored boys spend their time entertaining equally beautiful and bored girls.

Haruhi Fujioka, a poor scholarship student, has no interest in the Host Club—until she breaks a valuable vase in their clubroom. After being mistaken for a boy, Haruhi is forced by Kyouya Ootori to work for the Host Club to repay her debt. Tamaki Suou, the princely leader of the club, eagerly takes her under his wing to teach her the ways of the host. Things, however, are never quite so simple with the Host Club around. Even the most mundane events can turn into huge spectacles with the likes of prankster twins Hikaru and Kaoru Hitachiin, stoic Takashi Morinozuka, and sweet Mitsukuni "Hunny" Haninozuka. The crazy adventures of the Host Club are just beginning, and Haruhi must learn how to survive in the glitzy world of the hosts.

24.  Parfait Tic

Fuuko is a happy and cheerful girl. One day, two cousins, Daiya and Ichi, move into the apartment upstairs. Cold Ichi and mischievous Daiya gave a very bad first impression. All three are going to the same school as well. How will Fuuko's high school life turn out?

25.  Renren Zakari 

The day of her graduation, while she was lost and end up on the infirmary, a girl met by coincidence a good looking boy. But she was so panicked that the young man started to make fun of her...?

26.  Rockin Heaven 

Sawa applies to Heaven's Wing Academy, thinking she would look cute in the uniform. But she never expected the academy to be a previously all-boys' school! And the head honcho of the school, the class president himself doesn't seem to like her one bit and takes no pains to hide it. At first, adjusting to life at the academy is tough. Sawa is bullied and teased, and the boys in the class even throw her new shoes in the water. While attempting to retrieve her shoes, she falls into the water and is unexpectedly saved by Ran, who up until this point has made her life hell. The newfound gentleness in Ran intrigues her, and she finds herself falling for him. What will her days be like for the rest of her school life?

27. Saiouji Kyoudai ni Komarasareru no mo Warukunai  

Satou Fuuka is an orphan. Her aunt, who was her guardian, absconded in the night, leaving her with no money. Her parents wanted her to go to school, so she was looking for a job to cover her school expenses and rent (plus living expenses, though she didn't mention it). She goes to be interviewed for a part-time house helper job but is rejected before she can say anything, because the guy offering the job is the eldest for 4 brothers and it's an all-male household. She pours out her story, so he takes pity on her (even though he'd pointed out that she can't really take a part-time job if she doesn't have a guardian) and offers the job as a live-in position. However, he has one condition: she's supposed to disguise herself so his brothers don't take an interest in her. Her disguise: lots of towels around her body, so she looks fat; makeup so she looks old (39); plus her hair is all loose and she's wearing glasses.

28.   Sekirara ni Kiss

Chitose has always done well wearing her face like a mask: always smiling, always cute. She feels complete whenever she put it on because it's built to hide her unrefined self: no one hates her, and no one makes fun of her. But after meeting a cute boy who is instinctively more annoyed by her mask than her real self, can Chitose change and make people accept her for who she really is?

29.  Shiawase Kissa Sanchoume 

Uru is a very short girl and is constantly mistaken for an elementary school kid, but despite that, she is ridiculously strong and decides to live by herself after her mother gets remarried. She ends up working at a small cafe with two rather unique co-workers, Shindou, who acts gruff and intimidating, but who is really a nice guy who loves to make cakes and pies and the like, and Ichirou, who is really good-looking but who instantly falls asleep when he gets hungry and doesn't wake up again until he's force-fed something? What will the future bring to them?

30.  Stardust Wink 

I’m Anna. I’m 14 years old and I’ve just entered the ninth grade. Sou and Hinata, who live in the same apartment complex as me, are my childhood friends and we’re all the same age. I thought that from now on we’d become even closer friends, but then Sou suddenly did that to me…!!

31.  Strobe Edge 

Having no experience in romance, the vibrant Ninako curiously explores the meaning of what "love" really is, and is surprised to feel a colorful range of emotions as she grows closer to the school heartthrob, the quiet yet gentle Ren, who also happens to be involved in a longtime relationship. With every intention of keeping her head held high, Ninako prepares to face the mental pain of this one-sided love that she had allowed to take root, facing a series of trials that would either contribute to her growth as a headstrong woman, or break her as it did with other girls.

32.  Suki desu Suzuki-kun

Suzuki Hikaru, Hoshino Sayaka, Itou Chihiro and Suzuki Shinobu are all new students who have just entered the same middle school. Sayaka is a shy girl who secretly loves acting. Hikaru is an energetic boy who loves basketball. Incidentally, he shares the same last name with Shinobu, a popular rich boy who would be perfect if not for his rotten personality. Chihiro is Hikaru's childhood friend and has long had a crush on him. On the day of the opening ceremony, Hikaru happens to witness Sayaka acting out the lines of a drama on the rooftop and is instantly captivated. Upon seeing Hikaru getting along with Sayaka, Chihiro's chest begins to ache. When Shinobu sees this, he is overcome by a strange emotion and his heart starts beating faster... Unbeknownst to the four, this is the beginning of their magnificent love story; one that would last years to come.

33.  Taiyou no Ie 

After her mother abandoned her and her father remarried, high schooler Mao Motomiya is left feeling like she doesn't have a place where she belongs. One night, her childhood friend Hiro Nakamura finds her in a shrine eating cheap convenience store food and offers to take her to a restaurant. Their subsequent heart to heart leads to Hiro suggesting that Mao move in with him. To Hiro who has lived apart from his younger siblings all these years after their parents passed away, bringing his family back together in the once-lively Nakamura home begins with the first step of giving Mao a loving place to belong. When Mao reluctantly accepts his invitation, she is surprised at how easy it is to settle in with her longtime friend. Now she must deal not only with mending her relationship with her father and helping the oldest Nakamura brother attain his goal, but also her growing feelings for Hiro.

34.   The Maid at My House

Runako is studying hard to someday succeed as owner of her family's maid dispatching service company. One day, a request comes in from an entertainment production company and shockingly, it's for their super-popular star, Seirei Moroboshi! But could it be that the image he projects on the TV is far different than his true secret face...?!

35.  Tonari no Koigataki 

Hiro-kun and Icchan are both very important childhood friends to Akane. She thought they would always and forever be good friends, but...

36.  Tsubasa to Hotaru 

Tsubasa to Hotaru follows 15-year-old Tsubasa Sonokawa, a young student—and a renowned stalker? After one very romantic gesture by a popular upperclassman, she falls head over heels for who she believes to be her one true love. Unfortunately, love can be deceiving, as her feelings are soon proven to be one-sided; the upperclassman directly tells her that she's annoying and that she needs to stop bothering him. How's that for some tough love? Shortly after this horrific heartbreak, her good friend Yuri suffers from a sprained wrist, making it impossible for her to continue her position as the basketball team's manager. After some coaxing on Yuri's part, Tsubasa decides to take on the role in her place. This may be the perfect opportunity for Tsubasa to move on and forget about her unrequited love. On Tsubasa's first day as a manager, the team's shooting guard Aki Hidaka saves her from being hit by a ball. Is this another fateful encounter? Or just a random, meaningless event? One thing is for certain: Tsubasa's days will never be the same again.

37.   Uwasa no Midori-kun

Midori Yamate is a 15 year-old girl and is very much a tomboy. When she was young, Midori meets a boy called Tsukasa Hino, who came to the island she lives on for a holiday. He teaches her to play soccer and she falls in love with the sport. Midori is inspired by Tsukasa and continues to play soccer in hopes that they would meet again someday. When they do meet again Tsukasa does something unforgivable. Determined to defeat Tsukasa on the soccer field Midori enrolls in an all boy high school.

38.  Yagami-kun wa, Kyou mo Ijiwaru

 Just by talking to the famous Yagami-kun, Shizuku's high school life has become hard even from the start—!?

39.  Yumemiru Taiyou

While loitering in the park, Shimana Kameko, who intended to run away from home and skip school, meets a suspicious man in a kimono. This man, who had been locked out of his house, offers Shimana a place to stay. However, he requests she fulfill three conditions in exchange for her tenancy!?