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doodlingstuff · 3 years

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Coffee first?

Very late @aftgexchange gift for @rainbow-0bsidian Here's a Coffee Shop AU featuring an evil autumn-colored crocheted nanna-rug. Hope you like it!

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"I don't even know why I'm letting you drag me into this. I have a paper due tomorrow." Jean says, tapping furiously into his laptop as if the excessive noise will make him go faster.

"Because the two of you need to go out more often! Unless you are, you know, like together, in which case-"

"Don't even finish that thought." Andrew threatens Dan from his place, smoking on the window.

Dan crosses her arms. She's in the middle of the room, where she can look at both men at the same time. The truth is, she knows they both have lives. Or sort of... But she doesn't want to go alone to meet the cute beefcake from the gym on her first date.

They've been eyeing each other for long enough without saying anything, that in the end, it had been Dan who proposed having coffee in her preferred place.

"Okay. I'm done." Jean announces, closing his laptop. "Move it, Minyard."

"I didn't sign myself to be her chaperon."

"And I'm not going to be their third wheel."

"Guys, come on! I never ask anything from either of you."

Both men turn to shot daggers at Dan. Technically, she spends most of the week asking things, but that is because she's the team's captain, and they're supposed to fall under her command.

"I'll buy you a slice of each cake," Dan says to Andrew. "And I'll help you finish your paper when we return." She adds to Jean. "Can we go now?"

Andrew shrugs before discarding his half-smoked cigarette. Dan feels immediate relief. She won't go alone. Her roommates will be there, and if everything goes to awful hell, she can always count on Allison and Renee to cry all night.

"How do I look?" Dan asks the men. She still has a few minutes to make last-minute changes.

Andrew swipes her from top to bottom and Jean from her shoes to her hair.

"Could be worse."

"Halloween is coming."

Dan feels her belly churning with dread. It must be the boots, or the sweater, or the hair. Or perhaps she overdid her makeup? What if-

"Wilds, no." Andrew breaks the silence. Dan turns to look at him. If she has to give the tiny man credit for something, is that he knows how to dress when he means it. She should've asked for his help. Or Jean.

Oh, for fuck's sake. She's so stupid! She also lives with a French, and she couldn't ask for advice. This Matt guy is turning her into a puddle of uselessness.

"I said no. Let's go." Andrew cuts in again and storms out of the door.

Dan sighs and goes out, ready to fail.

The way goes silent. Andrew and Jean occasionally type something on their phones. They are closer to each other than they are to Dan. Like real bodyguards. At least that gives Dan a bit of security.

She breathes in the chilly morning autumn air and pushes the door of the Fox Coffee Shop, already scanning the tables. There's no sign of her big man yet. She might have a few minutes to steel herself for the stunning view and relax before he-

"What are you doing? Don't leave me with her!" Jean scowls behind her. She turns on her heels to see Andrew leaving the coffee shop.

"Andrew! What are you doing? Andrew!"

Dan is finally thankful for choosing shoes she can run with. She is so worried about being left alone with the cute man that she doesn't pay attention to the sound of windows smashing at her back and hurries more to step in front of Andrew.

"We got a deal! What's wrong with you?"

Andrew only lifts a brow. It would've been enough to make Dan step aside if she didn't know him so well already, and she hadn't noticed the faint blush on his cheeks.

"Can we go back? I got a date."

"Go ahead. I don't." There's the faintest of inflections in the last part. Dan would've asked if she only had time. Right now, she wants her date to be perfect, and it's coming pretty bad from before the start.

"I'll also get you fancy ice cream when I'm done. Andrew, come on, I need you."

The man looks from Dan's face to the coffee shop at the back. His cheeks blush again.

"Is he worth it?"

"I'll never know if we don't meet."

"Chocolate fudge, rocky road, brownie, and cookie chips. Plus the cakes, and I reserve the right to stab him if he isn't worth it."

"Awesome. You're the best. Come on; he must be there."

Dan makes her way back to the coffee shop, feeling pounds lighter with Andrew going willingly behind her. However, the relief doesn't last long.

There's a crowd of people at the entrance of the place. Dan makes way for her and Andrew to see what's the source of the commotion. A million scenes cross her mind. All of them, except the one with Jean on the floor, cursing in angry French at a blond man who's pressing gauze to his forehead.

"I can't take care of that cut if you keep moving, you know?" The blond says.

"Leave my head alone and get rid of that stupid rug!" Jean protests.

Dan looks at the spot pointed by Jean. There's a crumpled autumn-colored crocheted nana-rug on the floor.

"As if it was the rug's fault that you can't see where you put your feet. Or your whole body, for that matter." Interjects a small man from aside. He gives a few steps to get close to the window that apparently, met Jean's head. "At least you hit with the wall and didn't break the window."

"Neil, can you go back to attending orders?" The blond man asks, still busy attending Jean.

At her back, Dan hears Andrew muttering "Neil" to himself.

"I'm not cleaning his blood." The man -Neil-, says as he goes back to the counter.

Dan doesn't pay any more attention to him and crouches beside Jean. "What happened?"

"I wanted to catch Andrew before he ran away and slipped with their stupid rug. Who puts a rug in the middle of a coffee shop?"

"I did; any problems?" Neil replies from the back of the counter.

"You are a problem!" Jean shouts at the same time that Andrew says it, already in front of Neil. The blush has extended from his cheeks to his ears.

"It's just an attitude problem," Neil says, quieter, only for Andrew to hear, but the whole shop is still silent with the commotion.

"I'll still solve you," Andrew says with a casual shrug that can fool anyone but Dan or Jean.

"At least buy something before."

The blond man. Jeremy reads his tag, just puts his head inside his hands. "This job is going to kill me."

At that moment, Dan can see the instant shuffle in Jean. When he sees the exhaustion in Jeremy, he also goes slack against the wall, all tension between him, the rug, and Neil instantly gone. "I'm sorry for causing you trouble, love. It's just- Andrew's impossible, and our girl Dan here is having her first date with a guy from the gym."

Dan can't think anymore. She doesn't even know what's going on. Jean and Jeremy are holding hands on the floor, and Andrew is having a heavy staring contest with Neil at the counter.

"Love?" Is all she can mutter.

"We've been dating for weeks. We didn't want to tell you because I thought you liked him." Jean says.

"I- What?"

"You come here so often that I thought you might come for me? It wouldn't be the first time. And I know it wouldn't be because of Neil; he doesn't seem your type." Jeremy explains.

Dan feels dumbfounded. Her knees are about to give up below here. This can't be happening.

"I come here because of the morning views, the warm lattes, the pecan pie, and the free Wi-Fi! And I have a fucking date with a super hot guy who's like seven feet of glorious muscle crowned with a perfect smile and the most hilarious sense of humor. Why would I even look at you? No offense, Jean, I can see the appeal."

"Do you think all that of me?" Asks a deep voice behind Dan.

"Fuck me now," Dan mutters to Jean's and Jeremy's entertainment.

"Uh... Thought we could have coffee first? But I can do that too if that's what you want. I mean, who wouldn't? You're like a goddess."

"I- Wh- So- Do you really think I'm a goddess?"

"Hell yeah, I've been wanting to ask you out since spring but thought like your friend's boyfriend that you were into him and I-"

"Shut up and kiss me."

Dan doesn't think as she talks and pulls Matt in for a kiss.

All her nerves melt as soon as their mouths meet. It's so much better than anything she had imagined. Not that she'd put too many thoughts into picturing herself with Matt, but it's everything she ever dreamt of and then some.

"You could do the same someday." Dan listens to Andrew deadpan to Neil. She bursts into laughter at the same time as Matt.

The kiss breaks, but their hands remain holding as they go to get their drinks and officially start their date.

It looks like this date won't be a total failure after all.

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your-lips-are-very-red · 3 years

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St. Vincent x Emma Madden Interview

This is the text from the St. Vincent interview that Emma Madden was asked to not use. Since Miss Madden has decided to take it down, I wanted it to be available somewhere online - in case she manages to get all the cached versions taken down, too.

SOURCE: https://archive.is/wFkLN

About a fortnight ago I was commissioned to interview St. Vincent, an artist I have been inspired by, impressed by, turned on by, compelled by, curious of, in awe of, occasionally suspicious of—for the better half of a decade. I try not to think about other journalists too much, but St. Vincent has developed a reputation for intimidating us. For her last press cycle, she made her interviewers crawl into a pink box; she would play a pre-recorded message on a tape recorder if a question bored or irked her. I found that quite funny—irresistibly imperious—but I considered it an act of degradation rather than an interesting switch of power. I love famous people but I also find them quite silly, like a Schnauzer wearing a bowtie.

I didn’t know why, but for around two hours after our call ended, I was reeling with nervous energy. I was vocalising it and trying to get to the other side of it, the way I sing songs when I’m walking through a haunted house. I woke up the next morning with a voice message from the editor who assigned this piece. I am fond of this person and I will not name them. MBC, the team in charge of St. Vincent’s publicity (which is helmed by Barbara Charone, who also works for Madonna, and is considered one of the more powerful and intimidating publicists in the industry) had been on the phone to this editor, demanding the piece be pulled. My editor’s words: “They said she’s terrified of this interview coming out.” The publication didn’t have a leg to stand on.

"Terrified"? That word didn't seem to square. I thought I had done a not-so-good job the night before. I ended the call thinking I hadn’t asked the right questions. St. Vincent and I didn’t feel like a good match in conversation (or at least not in this conversational setup set-up, for which I was given thirty minutes, and continual reminders from the person on St. Vincent’s team, who remained on the call with us, that we’d need to wrap up well in time for St. Vincent’s Instagram Live session with Paul McCartney, which directly followed our interview.) St. Vincent tended to interpret my questions in bad faith. I assumed she believed me to be a Bad Reader; presumptuous, judgemental, simple, anti-curious—all qualities that her latest album ‘Daddy’s Home’, which I’ve interpreted as a counter to the folly, inadequacy and meretriciousness of moral purity—counters. Anyway, she read me wrong. I love Lana Del Rey.

I got a call from MBC later that morning by a man who sounded quite nervous. I told him I was confused, I asked him what the matter seemed to be. He wasn't totally sure, he said, "she found the interview aggressive." Aggressive? I complimented her and cowed to her and laughed at her jokes. "Well, the message has been passed down a line of many messengers, she might not have actually said that." The man on the phone said that this—one of his artists demanding an interview to be pulled—had never happened to him before. It hadn't happened to me either. I felt annoyed by how easy it was for St. Vincent to kill something I had researched and expected money for. But the interview started to seem valuable to me after I was told that she didn't want it out in the world. "Can we draw a line under this and just kill the piece here?" said the man on the phone.

Below is the full transcript of my interview with St. Vincent (save for a short and-forth about Tool which didn’t make sense when turned into text). My questions are in bold, her responses are in italics.

**for the sake of this post, Madden’s questions are bold and Annie’s answers are not** Hi, how are you? Good how’s it going?

Not too bad. What’s your mood for today? My mood for today, well it’s good, I’m getting on an Instagram Live chat with Paul McCartney in a couple minutes so my mood is a little bit nervous but good.

I’m excited to talk about this album, I think it has a sick sense of humor that I appreciate a lot. I’ve had a really fun time listening to it.

Oh I’m glad, thank you.

I’m sensing there’s kind of a 70s trend at the moment in terms of fashion and the ways some other bands are presenting themselves. Is that something you were anticipating, is that something you feel you belong to, or was it just kind of accidental?

Accidental.

Do you feel bummed about that? No I don’t, I always just kind of do my own thing.

Do you think there’s a reason why people might be inspired by the 70s today? Do you see an analog with our world today and with the 70s? I guess this album is based in 1973, right?

Between ‘71 and ‘76, so post flower children idealism, post the Summer of Love hangover, but pre escapism of gay disco and pre nihilism of punk. Life was bad but music was good, kind of vibe.

Kind of when the trash aesthetic was taking hold, especially by Andy Warhol. Does trash inspire you? Um like literal rubbish?

No like the trash aesthetic, I guess in the PR you call it sleazy, grimy. Yeah but the difference with sleazy is that sleazy tries to present as glamorous but there’s something off, trash is just trash. I don��t know if trash pretends to be anything other.

Can you have glamour without sleaze? Sure, absolutely. I mean, like the 20s Greta Garbo way, I would say Golden Era Hollywood, I mean behind the scenes it was probably a nightmare but you look at it and it is very genuinely shiny and beautiful.

I love the sitar on this album especially on ‘Down’, the riff is so sick. How did you get to the sitar? Well it’s not a sitar per se, it’s a choral electric sitar guitar and so it was I think George Harrison made them kind of popular in the ‘60s, I think the one I have is from ’67 and it plays like a guitar but it has a resonating body on it so it sounds sitar-esque. It was made very famous in the Steely Dan Do it Again solo.

I guess the main PR bulletin point of this album is about your dad coming out of jail. Why did you want that to be the main way that people might read this album? More like an entry point, the title Daddy’s Home to me I mean one, it is literal but also it’s funny and cringy and pervy and also I think more than anything kind of refers to my own transformation into Daddy as it were. Yeah it’s probably not anything I would’ve really thrown out there except that it was made public without my consent but I didn’t really get to tell that side of the story and I don’t bring it up for sympathy. It simply is my story, it’s not intended to be indicative of necessarily anything, it’s just my story and I was gonna tell it with humor and compassion, all of that.

Did you anticipate a lack of sympathy for your dad’s crimes and the subject matter of this album and did that factor into how you shaped this record? That’s the tail wagging the dog my dear. No, no. A lack of sympathy, well, which crime would be the most sympathetic? I didn’t do anything, I’m simply writing about something that I think on some level everyone who’s ever had a parent can understand in the sense of you’re often going “How much of you am I?” and we kind of do identity projection through all these things so no, it’s again, it’s not really there for anything other than my own anecdotal story.

At what point did you transform into this daddy character? For how much of your adult life have you been the daddy? Oh I would just say over the past few years, I’ve just been quite a bit more leaned back and shoulder shrug and say let’s just sit down in the old beat up leather armchair and have a tequila and chat it out you know. Life is complicated, human beings are complicated and I wanted to just write stories about flawed people. There’s a whole lot of judgement going around and not a whole lot of understanding. And judgement is anti-curious. There are some people, perhaps the more sanctimonious and morally pure, who might not be interested in an artist’s reflection on their father’s white collar crimes. Do you have much sympathy for those kinds of people? I mean I think I can get sympathy for all people. If that is the reason why they decide not to spend 46 minutes with my work then I’m sure there’s plenty of other work out there for them that they can enjoy that is morally pure. They should find pure work from pure people and enjoy it.

I guess last year’s riots brought abolition towards the mainstream, during the time you were making this record, which is partially about your father’s time in prison. How did that square with your thoughts on prison and the US carceral system? Well I have plenty of thoughts on it, I’m not totally sure how it’s relevant to this.

Well I was wondering if you have a standpoint on it or if you’d rather just be ambiguous? I have so many thoughts and opinions, I don’t presume that my thoughts and opinions are relevant on every subject though. I don’t have that much hubris.

I understand. I was wondering about the Candy Darling inspiration, how does she come into the fold? Oh I just, Candy Darling to me is such a beautiful heroine in that she came from Queens and went not geographically far but worlds away to Manhattan and became her true self and in that particular kind of combination of glamour and toughness, where you feel like her name should be on the marquee and yet she could stick you with a shiv if you said the wrong thing. And I just find her inspiring and really beautiful, and I didn’t know but I found out a friend of mine was close with her and was at her bedside when she died so I was just picturing Candy Darling’s ascent to heaven as taking the final uptown train.

Wow. Did you feel like you were embodying her on this album or presenting as her? No not as such, but definitely taking inspiration from some of her energy for sure. I do hear a bit of her voice on the title track, I was wondering if you were kind of modeling your voice after her? On Daddy’s Home? Oh, no.

I love the sultriness of that song, even though it’s just about signing autographs in prison. I found it really funny. Yeah it’s definitely again, I’m writing about my own story with humor and compassion and self-effacement, all that.

Do you see this album as a movement, does it have a narrative? Yeah. It’s a full story, it’s a full collection of short stories. It has a shape and everything.

That’s just how I listened to this album, as a series of short stories. I was wondering how they interlink in your mind? I guess you have the person on Broadway, you have your dad, you have the person who’s maybe thinking of having a baby or not having a baby. I just could write stories of flawed people doing their best to get by because I’ve been most of the people on this album at one point of my life or another. And again I could write about them without condemnation and judgement just, here we are.

Are you a nostalgic person? No not generally.

Not even during the creation of this album? I’m thinking of the humming tracks, your mum cooking in the kitchen. Not exactly, I think that this particular kind of music with its sophistication and some of the jazz language in the harmony and its sense of time, it was a kind of music that I’d loved for so long but never really dipped into myself, and I think we kind of learn things a lot of times when we’re ready to, and I think I was kind of ready to learn some of the lessons that this kind of music had to teach me.

Do you think about shame a lot? Um, I think that shame is the reason why most people do the violence that they do. I think violence is an expression of impotence.

What was it about the post-idealist era in particular that you were drawn to, why not go through the flower power utopia sort of 60s route? I think that there’s an intellectual orthodoxy that is involved in utopian thinking and a lot of times it doesn’t allow for either a complex set of incentives or it doesn’t allow for the totality of human nature in its equation, and then it fails and because the structure of any kind of power is really complicated so I think in general the desire… and I understand that we’re living in, in some ways, I think just with the internet part of it, in some ways unprecedented times. And I understand people’s desire for certainty in times economic strife, cultural upheaval, all this stuff. I completely understand the desire for certainty. But I don’t think it’s as simple as demanding moral purity and punishing anyone who doesn’t fix the orthodox criteria. I understand the desire but I’m not sure it’s gonna get to where I think we want to be, which is just general more equality, whether it’s wealth equality, wealth disparity, all that kind of stuff I just think the matrices of power are really complicated.

You were saying earlier about Daddy and how you were thinking about your dad and the overlap between you two and how we all possibly become our parents. I was wondering how you consolidate the influences of your parents? I don’t know anything about them obviously but I know that your mum was a social worker, your dad was an entrepreneur, and those seem like two totally opposing worlds. Yes, my mother is a social worker and she instilled in all of us I think the idea that the work we do should be meaningful and she’s definitely really humanistic and that kind of thinking I think, that had an impression on me. My dad wasn’t an entrepreneur, my dad was a stock broker I think? But I grew up with my mom and my stepdad and my stepdad was a very different kind of guy, just was an army brat and grew up really poor, and was just coming from a different mindset and they’re just very different kinds of people. Not a judgement thing, just very different. Yeah my mom definitely errs on the very humble side. And yeah, my dad is a complicated, charismatic person who’s also very intelligent, and who went down a path that was full of consequence. Yeah they’re really, really different people so it’s funny to kind of square who was who.

What does your dad think of this album? Oh he loves it!

Yay, that’s good to know. Did you ever rebel against your dad’s lifestyle growing up as a teenager? I didn’t grow up with him, and he was in Tulsa Oklahoma. I don’t know what lifestyle you’re necessarily presuming but..

No I’m not presuming, just wanted a little background on your relationship with him I guess. So he wasn’t in your life that much where you were younger? I would go and we would spend summers there and Christmas, but I grew up in Dallas for the most part with my mom and my stepdad.

Was this album in any way an opportunity to get closer to your dad? Not in any way consciously, no.

But are you finding with age and with time you’re getting closer to him? Well him being out of prison helps in terms of just proximity. Yeah, here’s what I’m finding. I’m finding that we live by the stories that we tell ourselves and that sometimes we realize that the story we’ve been telling ourselves for a long time was either wrong or lacked a certain amount of information, and then we have the choice of whether to reject the new information because it’s too painful to rethink the story that we’ve been telling ourselves, or assimilate the new information and go, wow life is complicated, this is an interesting wrinkle. I choose to do the latter.

Yeah, it’s very easy to bullshit yourself, right? Yeah, it's true in all kind of ways you know?

This story, the story of your dad, it almost seems redemptive. I mean I would say so, and that’s not in any way what I intended and you know, a lot of times when you’re making something, I mean you’re a writer you know, you have the compulsion to make it but you’re not necessarily sure where it’s coming from or why or any of those kind of questions, but I think there is the possibility of redemption, I do, I think there is the possibility of people to change and I think there is a possibility of things like forgiveness and growth. And if I didn’t think that there was a possibility for human beings to change, to grow, to take in new information and then continue to write their story, then I don’t know what we’d really be doing, you know? And that’s not really the world I want to live in, we’re a moving picture we’re not a still photograph.

Do you want to try and change the world, do you feel like you have that power, do you feel hopeful that there can be a better future? Sorry for the cheesy language. No, I mean I don’t think that many people would accuse me of being an optimist in a lot of ways, and I don’t think in terms of my “power to change the world” I mean I think all I can do is try to study the human condition and write about the human condition in some way that resonates and then maybe people will hear that and that will resonate with them and I think that ultimately the best case scenario for music is empathy because it’s like psychologically this is why we like to listen to stories or this is why we like to watch movies is so we can go down the empathy exercise and you can see yourself as that person in the film, see someone who isn’t like you in any way, shape or form from a just box ticking kind of way, but then realize oh, we’re very similar in some ways or what would I do if I was in that situation, we do all these things and we live by these stories and I think those stories well-told can encourage empathy and empathy can go out into the world and have a kind of transformative experience. I don’t really think about, I mean I think once I make a thing and then it’s out in the world and it’s for other people to assimilate or enjoy or not, whatever, however they take it, is absolutely fine by me. But it’s for them, it’s not my place in any way to say how people should or should not enjoy it or assimilate it.

Yeah the reason I brought up prison abolition earlier is because that might be how some people contextualize this album. I would say that that’s one lens. That to me would not be the main lens.

[I’m told to wrap it up]

Yeah let’s wrap up. So Tool cover album next? No, I wish.

Someday I’m hoping. I love Tool.

I feel your Paul McCartney nerves Yeah, I’m gonna go shower.

That’s always a good idea. Okay take care, thank you again for you time Thanks, bye.

#st vincent #emma madden #interview #daddys home

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xsecretblastsx · 4 years

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1x07 - Victor, Victrola

Finally! This is one of the most iconic episodes of this show and one I’ve been dying to get to since I’ve started with these recaps, Here we go!

This one got so long I’ve decided to post it with a keep reading brake.

Thoughts I had while watching the episode:

I love that it opens with a vintage filter, which I don’t think I’ve noticed much the first time. I do remember thinking of this little preview “Guess Chuck’s meeting someone who’ll give him a run for his money”

Also how good is that shot of the those hills climbing up the steps, or maybe is just that I love the shoes

These is one of my all time fave Blair’s school outfits, she looks so pretty, and I love the obnoxiously big red bow.

Things I should have wondered, wasn’t this something Chuck would have show Nate before her? But this scene is a quick way to show that they’re in fact really good friends

“What happens at Victrola stays at Victrola” Not really Chuck, not really

God I hate Nate’s Dad

I don’t know why but I found a bit funny how the Captain’s office has so many little nautical details, kind of oversell

“I think I saw it next to that ambiguous vague shape” hi mom!

Dan lamenting that new Yorkers don’t have cars and therefore teens can’t make out in them, yeah Dan about that…

Nate’s attempt at bribing Jenny it’s so lame it’s almost funny

Chuck casually pointing out to Lilly that she missed a button, oh Lily!

It’s almost endearing to see Chuck put so much effort with his dad and how eager and accommodating he gets when his father says yes.

I love the scenes were Serena and Blair have typical best friends conversations.

OMG I had totally forgot that Dan was reading the Kamasutra in search of inspiration, also getting this anxious and picturing all these scenarios in his head. I feel you dude.

Does that cherry stem trick is actually possible? Ugh why am I even thinking about that. Though didn’t the show used that bit on a poster?

That dress does looks ugly in a hanger

That was a good analogy of Vanessa’s role in this show.

Lily was so nice to Chuck from the start, as early as this episode, theirs is one of my favorite parental relationship in the show

How does Vanessa knows all about Serena’s hook up history though? Didn’t she went on Gossip Girl or Dan has a big mouth? Well I guess is the same thing.

“Game recognizes Game little J” Oh Blair you have no idea, also no, the Vanderbilt is ring is not the most amazing ring you’ll ever see.

Gotta admire the show’s attention to detail, Serena and Nate may be making out on Dan’s kitchen, but they still use the same background music they used the first time we saw that scene, but relly I had forgot how much fun I laugh with all his imagined scenarios.

For once I actually feel bad for Dan, having your own father tell you to get rid of those sheets. Akward.

Aside from Nate’s dad, and maybe Eleanor everyone else at that dinner really looks like they want to be anywhere else but there.

“I tried Blair” oh please Nate, you call her once, it went to voice mall and you couldn’t bother again, but I guess it was just easier to go to the palace to talk to Serena.

I remember the first time I watched this I was like “Yes Blarir finally! You tell him!

It should have been obvious since earlier in the episode, but when she steps out of that car it was the first moment it hit me that OMG the girl at the start of the episode was Blair! It is funny how while I already knew that now, the same thought kind of hit me again.

YOU GO BABY VAMP!

‘You still would do anything to get a girl on her back though’ it would not be S1 episode without a bit of Lily and Rufus banter

“Nobody’s ever looked at me the way you just did” what a telling line. Though did Dan and Serena did it or not?

Iconic scene is iconic. Vintage filter and all.

Gossip Girl was never the same again

What a good episode in every way. Normally I always get bored with one of the little subplots, but not on this one. Hell I actually liked Dan and Serena this week, which hadn’t happened like since 1x01, and even then it was with a grain of salt. This episode is also hilarious, I didn’t watch this when it aired so I don’t know if they hinted at Blair and Chuck in one of their promos, but I hoped they didn’t because I like the way the episode flows a lot, we spend the whole episode seeing Dan getting anxious about losing his virginity, and then out of nowhere it’s Blair the one that ends up the night no longer a virgin.

Also I did enjoy this episode so much more this time around not only because well I’m a chair fan but because there are a lot of little details, almost like Easter eggs that point out to the last scene, like Dan pointing out the tragedy of New York’s teens without car where they can make out, or when Serena tells Blair that maybe planning and thinking too much about it may ruin the moments, and then you have Blair at the end of the episode losing her virginity on Limo without planning it at all.

In the Dan and Serena front though this episode is one that gives a bit more insight on the why’s Serena can’t never really forget a about Dan. She had being treated awfully by most guys she ever came across, and Dan’s the first that actually treats her like she’s worth it and worries about her feelings, we know it’s not as perfect as she sees it, he had been pretty judgmental of her in half of the episodes so far, but she doesn’t realize it because she’s used to man objectifying her for a long time now, she doesn’t see her own value, and that’s the tragedy of Serena’s character and why she deserved so much better.

This episode is also the one in which Nate’s family issues get to a boiling point, we finally see the amount of problems Nate’s dad has and why he’s absolute trash, and things are only about to get even worse. Really this episode almost everyone in the parental front is keeping a secret or being in denial, trying to keep the status quo in their lives, in contrast most of the teens are at the verge of really taking a step into action, Nate finally does something to put a stop to his dad lies by getting him arrested, Serena is experiencing a loving relationship for the first time, Dan gets ready to leave his virgin status behind, Chuck is taking his first steps in the business goals and Blair is finally ready to accept that his relationship with Nate must end. In the end though, of course Chuck and Blair went through something else this week.

Honestly, what can I say about Chuck and Blair in this episode that hasn’t been said before. This is the start of one the most iconic couples in T.V. I mean if they were real people this was the night that changed the course of their lives forever, it’s a monumental moment for so many reasons. There’s Blair who up until now, has never contemplated a future that doesn’t includes Nate, but as each previous episode showed holding up to that future gets harder and harder, no matter what she does, he seems farther and farther away from her reach, she tries being sexy, ruining Serena, elaborate games and none of it goes, by the time the family dinner comes to be, she’s exhausted, she’s all prim and proper, Vanderbilt ring in her hand and she’s never looked more miserable. And so she lets go of Nate, and goes to the one place she can escape from it ill, it’s a very obvious visual image but still I love the moment the dress came off is the moment one can tell she’s finally free from it all, basking in that relief she said she felt.

So she dances, and she does it for Chuck Bass. It may have happened because of a dare but really it’s almost logical that she let’s all her uptightness on the floor in his company because if one goes back and looks to the previous six episodes she’s at her realest with him, since the first episode he doesn’t sugar coats her thoughts with him, doesn’t pretend to be nicer, makes him a part of her plots and he knows about all her issues with Nate, their friendship is a lowkey constant in the background, and this episode starts with a reminder of that fact, he takes her to Victrola because he trust her judgment above all others, his second toughest critic, only behind his dad. Their friendship is one factor about them that I feel got lost as the season go by, but it’s one of my favorite aspects about them, because that was the very first layer of their relationship.

They probably never thought about their friendship being something especial, about the fact that they shared bits of each other in a way they didn’t do with Nate and Serena, they always had chemistry and in some deep part of their brain they probably knew it all along, but it was much better to ignore it because what was the point, but is funny how as soon as Nate is out of the picture and it’s just them without inhibitions, this happens.

It’s not hard to imagine that Chuck had always thought she was “10 times hotter than pretty much anyone” This is Chuck Bass after all, and he also admired her personality, it wouldn’t surprise me if he thought that Nate was probably the worst match for a girl like Blair, and yet the way he looks at her while she’s dancing, he’s in complete awe of her, he already had her in high regards, but he had no idea that when she lets herself be free she’s the most mesmerazing thing he has seen, and oh how he wants her, it’s written all over his face when he says how amazing she was up there, and Blair who’s used to be unwanted by Nate can’t help but be drawn to it and so she kisses him, and he knows he could go for it and she most likely won’t reject him, still he asks her if she’s sure because he knows that while sex is not a big deal for him, the first time was important to her and how she only tried to rush into it until she felt she was losing, he had first row seats to all the drama that was her relationship with Nate, and so with that little question he lets her know that there’s no pressure, and also a first clear nod to how she’s different for him, he may be all for encouraging a girl to sleep with him, but not this time, and she knows it and she takes the leap, she’s doing this for her, because she wants to, not forcing it as she always had to.

Iconic scene is iconic.

Random bits:

I can’t remember if it was mentioned before but Chuck’s line “he was born poor; I was born loaded” is the first mention of the fact that the Basses are new money.

Without you ends up being a really accurate song for their whole relationship.:

I don't want this moment to ever end Where everything's nothing without you I'll wait here forever just to, to see you smile 'Cause it's true: I am nothing without youThrough it all, I made my mistakes I stumble and fall, but I mean these wordsI want you to know: with everything, I won't let this go These words are my heart and soul I'll hold on to this moment, you know 'Cause I'd bleed my heart out to show that I won't let go

#as you can tell by now if you follow me i rant and rant and i can't help myself #gossip girl #gossip girl recap #gossip girl rewatch #chuck x blair #victor victrola #1x07

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kevindayprotectionsquad · 5 years

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The Foxes and their totally real horseback experience

Okay, so, I made this in the Kindle app notes on like my second or third reread of the Kings Men so bear with me, but here is how I think horseback riding went for the Foxes. This is also loosely based on my own experiences lol!

Neil: The vacation was his idea, so he feels obligated to join when it is decided (suggested by Allison) to go horseback riding. He is actually super nervous go, both because of his injuries and because he’s never even seen a horse up close before. It helps to see the upperclassmen (and Nicky) so excited. He never even had a fish growing up, so he has no animal experience, and doesn’t understand how he is supposed to control a whole horse. On a good day, where he was feeling himself and not like a walking pin cushion, he would struggle with the concept of riding. Now he has to worry both about not hurting himself more AND control an animal that is much bigger than him. Luckily he gets a sweet, old gray horse that just follows the other horses, and doesn’t even need Neil.

Andrew: Is. Absolutely. Terrified. Internally screaming the entire time, but will not admit it. He refuses to look like a wimp in front of everyone. When they are brushing the horses, he is holding the brush as far away from him as possible. The pinto pony swishes her tail and stomps at a fly, and it takes everything in Andrew to not jump out of his skin. Neil has to talk him into finishing brushing her. He makes sure Neil is on safe first before even worrying about getting on himself. He contemplates just walking away, but forces himself (with a pep talk from Neil) to get on the pony. He wants to be offended they gave him a tiny pony, but he is also grateful he doesn’t have to get on anything bigger. He has exactly zero trust in the pony. He spends the entire ride counting down until he can be done with the whole thing.

Kevin: Poor Kevin also struggles with the concept of riding. It’s not like exy where he is in complete control of his racket and where he sends the ball. Horses think for themselves, so whats stopping them from killing all humans? He tries to tell himself this is just another sport, and that he can do it. He pays close attention to the instructions on how to get the horse to walk, how to steer, and how to stop. He starts to feel more confident... Until his horse starts walking. The bay mare is absolutely not going to hurt him, but she also isn’t going to let him just sit there. If he wants her to stop, he has to make her stop. He has the “I don’t want to hurt her” mentality, and she takes advantage of him. By the end of the ride, he has gotten the hang of it, and has decided he loves the mare. He secretly named her Athena. He thought it was fitting.

Aaron: Also. Absolutely. Terrified. Just like Andrew. Does not trust his pinto pony. He thinks he’s too good for the whole thing, but he will be damned if he is going to be shown up by Neil and Andrew. He stays as far from the pony as possible. When he finally gets on, he realizes sitting there is not that bad, but as soon as the pony starts walking he goes into Panic Mode. It doesn’t help that the pony keeps getting left behind and speeding up to catch back up with the the others. Aaron is only happy when he is safely on the ground on his own two feet.

Nicky: Is so excited. His favorite part is grooming his horse. He loves how soft the horses are. Especially their noses. He sneaks pictures of the twins brushing (being terrified) their ponies. He loves that the twins got matching ponies. When he is on, he really wants to gallop, but thinks trotting is too fast. Luckily his black gelding is the patient sort, and knows when Nicky is asking for more than he can handle, and takes good care of him. Nicky has an absolute blast.

Matt and Dan: They feed off each others energy and have similar reactions to the horses. They are in awe and want to learn as much as they can about the horses. Dan asks a million questions and Matt is right next to her listening carefully. Matt doesn’t want help putting his saddle on and accidentally puts it on backwards. Luckily, the sorrel gelding forgives Matt when he gives him a cookie. Dan loves how bold her black mare is, but is a little nervous to get on. She gets over it quickly when she see Matt get on. He is immediately having fun, and Dan doesn’t want to miss out. Matt decides he wants a horse ranch when he retires. Dan lets him dream.

Renee: This isn’t Renee’s first time around horses. She participated in a horse therapy program for at risk youth after escaping the gang, and actually really enjoyed it. It was similar to the trail ride operation.The gray mare she is assigned to loves her, and Renee loves her right back. No one is shocked. Everyone loves Renee, why wouldn’t animals love her as well. She happily chills in the back of the group, letting the mare pick her own pace.

Allison: This is also not Allison’s first time around horses. Horseback riding is a rich person’s game. The social aspect, the fashion, the blatant flaunting of money. When she was younger, before exy, Allison rode competitively. She was an eventer, much to her parents dismay. They wanted her to be a hunter/jumper. Thats what all the other girls in the family’s circle of frends were doing. But Allison loved the thrill of going full speed on a cross country course, the adrenaline rush she got in a stadium jumping jump off, and loved all eyes being on her in the dressage ring. The hunter ring didn’t offer her any of that, and she gave it all up for exy. She doesn’t regret it. A trail ride with her teammates isn’t the same, but she gets quite the kick out of watching them all trying to figure the horses out. The trail guide gives her the difficult chestnut mare and Allison has to chuckle to herself. She always loved the sassy ones. Up until the trail ride, Allison had never shared her horse person side with her teammates, but she couldn’t help but show off a little. Seeing all their faces when she sends her borrowed horse over a fallen tree was priceless.

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babethepig · 5 years

Text

two slow dancers

Summary: "Who are you dating? Do I know him?"Dan snorts."Phil," it comes out easy and natural, Dan's brain processing what he said a second too late.

or dan and phil are best friends and neighbors and secretly (not so secretly) in love but from Dan's POV.

Second part of you fill my head with you

Word count: 2.7K

Rating: G

(read on ao3)

Dan doesn't even notice the first lie, it slips through his lips like dry sand escapes your fingers when the wind blows. He must show a lot of conviction because Rina believes him without a fuss and she doesn't usually believe in Dan's excuses.

She wants Dan to go on a date with a friend of her’s, she has been nagging Dan for a whole week. It's Friday, at this point Dan is in a state of total annoyance.

"Where is this coming from?" Dan squints at her. "In all the months I have known you, you haven't cared about my love life."

She makes a face. "Ok, maybe my friend saw a picture of you and has been bullying me into getting him a date with you."

"Well, that's flattering," Rina rolls her eyes, Dan ignores her. "But I don't think my boyfriend will appreciate me going out with some other dude."

Her face lights up at the word boyfriend, Dan can see the moment it happens, her eyes go wide and her mouth hangs open.

"You didn't tell me about your boyfriend!"

Dan shrugs. "It's pretty recent."

"Who are you dating? Do I know him?"

Dan snorts.

"Phil," it comes out, easy and natural, Dan's brain processing what he said a second too late.

Dan is not going to think why it feels so right to say it, he's sure the guilt will come later anyway.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Dragging his feet against the floor while he makes his way through the hallway, Dan reaches his door. He’s standing in front of it but changes his mind at the last second. He turns around. There's another place he would rather be at.

Dan gets his key out and opens the door like is his own home, he ignores the feeling of buzzing bees in his stomach and twists the doorknob. Sometimes, Dan likes to pretend this is his life and he gets to come home to Phil every day, and kiss him hello and goodbye and goodnight and kiss him and kiss him and kiss him... But he ruined his chance.

Phil’s apartment is quiet when Dan enters, that’s a rare occurrence, Phil is usually home when Dan comes back, with food already on the way and maybe some board game set up.

“Phil?” Dan takes his shoes off by the door. “Phil, are you here?”

A noise comes from the room, it sounds like a soft whine. Dan rushes in.

“Phil?”

He's a lump on the bed, curled up on himself. Phil whines again.

“Hey, what’s wrong?” Dan sits on the edge of the bed.

"Head hurts,” Phil mumbles, sounding miserable. Dan pushes the hair off his forehead.

“Is it really bad?” Dan makes sure to use the softest voice he can, to not disturb him. “Did you take your tablets?”

Phil shakes his head.

Dan goes fetch the tablets, he knows where Phil keeps them. It’s not the first time he has witnessed one of Phil’s migraines, he knows how bad they can get. He goes to the kitchen and fills a glass with cool water before going back to the room.

“There you go,” Phil sits up to take his medicine. “You look like a kicked puppy,” Dan gives him a warm smile

Phil pouts. “Lay with me,” he says, making grabby hands towards Dan.

The bees inside Dan’s stomach start buzzing harder, Dan wouldn’t say no to Phil.

Dan takes off his coat, realizing just now that he’s still wearing it, and slips into the bed behind Phil, he wraps an arm around Phil's waist and rests his open palm on his stomach.

“Missed you,” Phil mumbles before falling unconscious again.

In moments like this Dan tries to remember he did this to himself.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

“You have a boyfriend?” Estelle asks, cornering Dan in the break room.

“Rina told you?”

“Of course she did, she’s my wife,” she puts her hands on her waist and gives him a look that makes him feel like he’s in trouble.

“You’re not married.”

“We’re beyond that,” Estelle shrugs. “Why didn’t you tell us before? Haven’t you thought about all the double dates we could have been having all this time?”

“It’s pretty recent,” he repeats the lie he told Rina just the other day.

“Phil is your neighbour, right?” Dan nods. “I mean, it was just a matter of time, you’re always talking about him.” Her whole demeanour changes after she says that and she smiles at him. “Anyway, I’ll stop bothering you but you owe us a date.” She points a finger to him seeming far more threatening that someone so short and so sweet-looking should seem before leaving the room.

Dan has gotten himself into a big mess, he knows Estelle and Rina won’t stop pestering him until they meet Phil. Dan likes them, they are great people and they took Dan under their wing when he first got his job, he thinks of them as his friends and he hates lying to them. Still, he can’t just tell them the truth, Dan’s still filled with regret from the things he said.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Phil has no business being so cute, with his rosy cheeks and pretty blue eyes, tipsy from the wine they had with dinner. Martyn and Cornelia’s sofa is too small for the four of them, Phil stands in front of them for an awkward second before Dan pulls him to sit on his lap. Phil giggles and Martyn and Corn are unfazed, Dan wonders if they think there’s something between him and Phil. He hopes they do.

Dan wraps his arms around Phil’s waist and squeezes, maybe he can blame it on the wine but he feels it wouldn’t be fair, he touches Phil because he wants to and he can only hope Phil feels the same autonomy of his actions when he rests his head on the crook of Dan’s neck and puts his hands over his.

Everything feels easy with Phil, everything but words. Dan always thought he was eloquent enough to make himself understood, the problem is he’s also pretty impulsive and easily frightened, it seems.

When Dan first met Phil he was terrified, he thought Phil was an amazing person and he couldn’t believe someone like him was interested in Dan, at the moment he convinced himself he was doing Phil a favour because Dan was just going to disappoint him. Those were other times, Dan likes to think, now he knows his own worth and he knows he would never hurt Phil intentionally.

The real problem is that he doesn’t know how to communicate that to Phil, at least not with words. Maybe one of these days Phil will realize that every single one of Dan’s touches is full of intent and love and all the words Dan can't bring himself to say.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Dan has been moping around all day, he must admit. Phil left early to visit his parents and Dan was cut short of his Phil time. Maybe he should be doing a better job at masking it but he misses Phil and he dreads going back home because he won’t be there.

Rina notices Dan’s mood because her desk it too close to his and she always seems to have time to check on Dan at least ten times a day, she says she’s perceptive but Estelle says she’s nosy, Dan doesn’t have an opinion, it’s nice to have someone caring about him.

“Why the long face, hun?” she asks, sitting on top of his desk without a care in the world.

Dan answers before thinking too much, “Phil’s away.”

“Oh, no. Have you been left all alone?”

Dan pouts and nods.

“Poor baby,” she pouts back at him. “We should have a sleepover!” Rina smiles again, holding her hand close to her chest and putting on an excited face.

Dan doesn’t see why not to agree, he needs something to lift himself anyway and he would like to have some fun and not be alone.

“I’m down if you and Estelle don’t mind a sad giraffe invading your home.”

Rina laughs. “We don’t mind. I’ll text you our address in a second,” she waves him goodbye and gets off the desk.

Dan spends the rest of his shift being grateful for his friends -and thinking about Phil, but just a little.-

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

“You think Phil will be free next weekend?” Estelle asks out of nowhere.

Dan is laying between them on their bed a little full of pizza and a little drunk. He’s caught off guard for a second while he scrambles his brain for a credible lie.

“I could ask him but he has been very busy lately,” Dan feels awful for lying to them, he’s a shit friend and he doesn’t deserve them. “But I promise I’ll convince him to do something all of us together soon.”

“That’s alright,” Rina chimes in, Dan thought she was already asleep for how still she was. They might have had one too many Mojitos. “We just want to know the guy that has our Dan's heart,” she drapes her arm and her leg around Dan and reaches out for Estelle’s hand, their joined hands resting on Dan’s stomach.

“Serious talk,” Estelle says. “Does he treat you right?"

"Yeah," Dan says all high pitched, feeling his face get flushed.

"We just want you to be happy," Rina cranks her neck in an awkward angle to drop a kiss on Dan's cheek.

"I'm happy, I promise," it looks like the lies will never cease.

"If he ever hurts you, you just tell us and we will spray paint 'bitch' on his wall."

Dan snorts, "I'll keep that in mind."

He definitely deserves the ‘worst person in the world’ award.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

The domesticity of going grocery shopping with Phil hurts Dan deep to his non-existent soul. He finds himself wishing, once again, that this was his life.

He pushes the cart, Phil beside him trying to read his messy handwriting because he couldn’t write his shopping list on his phone or just try to remember what he needs and die when he inevitably forgets something like normal people do.

They stop by the cereal aisle and Phil takes his time choosing one, Dan gets his phone out and scrolls through Instagram, he sees Rina posted a picture of the day of their sleepover, she and Estelle are sitting up on the bed, Rina is pecking Estelle’s cheek. They are bending in a strange way to avoid crushing Dan, that is still sleeping between them. The pic is captioned ‘perfect centrepiece’.

Dan huffs out a quiet laugh and likes the post, he’s thinking of a clever comment when Phil taps him on the shoulder.

“Should we have granola for breakfast?” and then with a mischievous tone. “Or eggs?”

The implication that they’re having breakfast together makes Dan’s heart beat faster but he tries to keep a neutral face, better if Phil doesn’t know what a simple thing like the promise of shared meals can do to Dan.

“We’re vegan,” Dan reminds him.

Phil makes a face and puts the granola in the cart. He doesn’t have to, Dan thinks, he is the one trying to be vegan and Phil is just his friend, it’s not like they live together and have to accommodate to each other’s life habits or can take conjoined decisions, this food is for Phil’s place and Dan’s veganism shouldn’t affect the way he shops and yet Phil cares, he wants to do things with Dan, do things for Dan.

This is the kind of moment that makes Dan want to be brave for once and talk to Phil about what he feels and admit that he screwed up at the beginning of their relationship but he always talks himself out of it.

The supermarket is not a great place for love declarations anyway.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Dan suspects he has reached his lowest point when he fakes a call to get out of another double date planning conversation, he can’t keep making excuses to avoid introducing his alleged boyfriend to Estelle and Rina. He could say that he broke up with Phil, though they might not believe it. Maybe he could say it was something mutual, that they decided they were better off as friends.

His stomach turns at the idea, even a fictional breakup would be too much for his already bruised heart, if he actually had Phil he wouldn’t give him up as easy as this, he would try to make it work.

Maybe he’s just setting himself off for rejection but Dan decides that he’s going to tell Phil how he feels after the Holidays, he just doesn’t want to ruin that for Phil so he’s going to wait.

For now, he’s going to try to convince Phil to show up to a lunch date with Rina and Estelle as Dan’s boyfriend.

Without him knowing.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Of course, Phil shows up despite not having an idea of what is going on. Of course, he plays along even if he is notoriously mad. Of course, he’s the perfect fake boyfriend. Of course, Dan is more screwed than he was before.

Phil really is the perfect boyfriend, Dan reckons. He’s nice to Dan but still has a sense of humour to tease him and bant with him, he’s charming and pretty and Dan is sure Rina and Estella have bought the act.

Dan has bought it too if he’s being honest, he feels like he’s being allowed to have a peek into the life he could have had if only he hasn’t pushed Phil away. Phil is the best person in the world and Dan is an imposter.

By the end of the date, Dan has convinced himself there’s no way Phil still wants him and he should keep his distance

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Phil needs time away from him, Dan repeats in his head over and over again until he makes himself think he believes it.

Not knocking at Phil's door every time he comes back from work gets harder every time, not having Phil there to share every moment it's killing Dan. But confrontation is worse.

Dan can't handle Phil's disappointment, Phil's anger. What if Phil hates him for being a liar? What if he doesn’t want to be friends with Dan anymore? What if he moves out and Dan never sees him again?

Dan doesn't even want to think about it.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

When the power goes out and Phil comes into his apartment Dan can barely believe it. He forgets that he’s scared of the dark and just jumps into Phil’s arms, too happy to know Phil doesn’t hate him to care about the absence of light around them.

They talk and Dan confesses he was scared of fucking up everything between them and Phil tells him he loves him despite everything. Things still feel a little tilted, they have a lot to talk about, but Dan has the feeling they will work it out at the end.

‧͙⁺˚*･༓☾ ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

Phil is a big fan of double dates. Well, probably he’s just a big fan of Estelle and Rina. Dan can’t blame him, they’re amazing.

They all hang out so much Rina ends up pointing out Phil’s new lack of responsibilities and Dan has to come clean about his lies. He’s lucky they’re just mad at him for about five minutes. Estelle says she’s too glad it worked out at the end to be angry and Rina says she only forgives him because Phil is sweet, not because of Dan, he’s an asshole. It’s better than what he could have ever asked for.

And Dan gets to be with Phil, as unbelievable as he finds it.

They’re on the sofa, Dan’s arm over Phil’s shoulders. It’s nothing they wouldn't have done before but it still gives Dan a trill, he's Phil's boyfriend, he has his arm around his shoulders and Phil is cuddling into him. It's not different and yet it's completely different. There are no excuses or pretences, they’re free to love each other.

Good thing this is Dan's life.

#phanfiction #phan #mine

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dvp95 · 5 years

Text

quiet on widow’s peak (10)

pairing: dan howell/phil lester, pj liguori/sophie newton/chris kendall rating: teen & up tags: paranormal investigator, mystery, online friendship, slow burn, strangers to lovers, nonbinary character, trans character, background poly, phil does some buzzfeed unsolved shit and dan is a fan word count: 2.8k (this chapter), 32.4k (total) summary: Phil’s got a list of paranormal experiences a mile long that he likes to share with the world. Abandoned buildings, cemeteries, and ghost stories have always called his name, and a particular fan of his has a really, really good ghost story.

read this chapter on ao3 or here!

They try everything. Sophie handles the cameras and phones while Phil and Chris spend way too long cleaning up files on their laptops and doing what they can to get any clear images out of the mess. It's no use. By the time PJ returns from driving Dan home, all they've accomplished is figuring out that the corruption is on their devices, not on the exported files. No matter what they do, the videos and pictures they took have the effect of being scrambled, like someone has pressed fast forward and also put a noise filter over them. The sound is no better - there's a high-pitched sort of ringing in all of the video and audio recordings that Phil can't understand the source of. Some files won't open altogether.

"How does this even happen?" Sophie mutters, bent over Chris' phone with a furrowed brow. "There's nothing left. Like, at all."

"We still have footage from the first night," says Phil. He's trying his very best to stay positive, but this is unbelievably frustrating. They experienced something last night, even if they can't agree on what it was, and they're supposed to start driving back to Brighton before it gets too dark. They don't have time for this. "With the shadow, you know."

His friends make grunts of irritated agreement. Phil knows that all of them are disappointed and a little angry about the lack of evidence for their hellish night, almost like they went through it for nothing, but he doesn't have anything comforting to say.

Phil has never been very good at comfort. He's good at distracting people and forcing optimism, but seeing such visceral emotions from his usually mild housemates makes him want to retreat into himself. He takes his glasses off to rub at his eyes, fighting off a budding headache.

"That's not really enough for a video, though, is it," says PJ. "I mean, you're not going to convince anyone with just a shadow."

"Well, we can't stay to try and get more," Chris says with a little huff.

"I can," Phil points out. He doesn't think he wants to, really, because this whole situation skeeves him out and going back alone would not help, but he needs there to be a purpose to his friends' suffering or he'll never forgive himself. He stares at his unfocused laptop screen, full of files that don't work, and wonders if they're going to bother to try and stop him. "I mean, you guys all have work tomorrow. I don't have anywhere to be. And I kind of want to see this through, so I can, like… take the train home when it's done."

There's a moment of quiet. Phil feels his shoulders tense at the possibility that he's going to have to argue his way into this. It's his job. Plus, he already knows his parents are going to have a problem with him staying longer to investigate, and fighting with yet another set of well-meaning people is more than he wants to do.

"Normally I'd be like, whatever," says PJ. "You know what you're doing and you do this sort of shit alone all the time. But, Phil, how the fuck do you think the paralysis will work if you're by yourself?"

"I won't try to sleep there," Phil decides, shoving his glasses back onto his face. "That's the only time it's happened, right? When people are already falling asleep?"

PJ's mouth twists unhappily, but he doesn't protest further. Phil wonders if he's actually won this argument or if PJ is just too tired from bickering with Dan about cryptids, or whatever they talked about on the drive. Thinking about Dan is a distraction, and not exactly a welcome one. Phil doesn't know how he feels - or even if he should be feeling anything at all - and he doesn't want to add that crisis on top of the one he's already dealing with.

"So you're just going to go there," says Chris. "Alone. And then poke around and go home?"

"That's what I do in most haunts."

"Fair play. Carry on."

It's almost funny how quickly PJ's expression nosedives into aghast. "What? That's it? You're not putting up more of a fight?"

"Why bother?" Chris asks with a little shrug. "He's a stubborn bellend."

"Hey," Phil half-heartedly protests. His friends don't deign to acknowledge it.

"You should bring a sigil with you," says Sophie. Her voice is soft and tired, but her eyes are kind in a way that PJ and Chris don't bother to be. "Why don't you bring something down that you'd have on you, and we'll all put something on it?"

"Really?" Chris asks. It's impossible to tell what he's thinking. Phil doesn't know if he thinks the idea is good or stupid, but he nods after Sophie does. "Alright, we can do that."

PJ is looking off into the distance while cogs seem to turn in his head. "Something you'll have physically on you, Philly, since we can't put it on your skin itself. Let us draw on your glasses or jacket or -"

"Knickers," Chris chimes in.

"Or your knickers," PJ agrees, far more solemnly than Phil thinks is necessary.

It doesn't seem like it'll actually help, but Phil feels so much affection and gratitude for his friends wanting to protect him in any way they can that he doesn't argue.

Phil doesn't really like the idea of going to the Wilkins place alone, either, but he's a lot more comfortable doing that than dragging his innocent friends along for the awful ride again. He thinks about Sophie's kind eyes staring up at the ceiling blankly, the way PJ gasped when he woke up, Chris trying to hide his own concern about the situation, and he feels his resolve stiffen even more.

Maybe he is a stubborn bellend. This is his responsibility, though. It's not right for him to keep asking for help. Phil lets the conversation flow to what snacks they're going to get for the drive and thinks about how he's going to break the situation to his parents.

It doesn't feel as satisfying to shut the door of his childhood bedroom, now. Maybe it's the fact that he's too mature to slam it, or maybe it's that the room itself isn't the haven it used to be. All the neutral colours and boring pieces of art are like a constant visual reminder that his life isn't here anymore.

He doesn't want it to be here. That isn't the problem. It feels stupid if he thinks about it for too long, but he grew up in this house. He's got scars from the sharp corners of the old furniture and more memories than he has in any other singular location. Sure, it makes sense that his parents are retiring and want to downsize from a big, empty house, but Phil really isn't comfortable with this level of change. He kind of assumed he'd always be able to come visit and feel at home again.

Phil sinks onto the mattress. For a long moment, he seriously considers going to sleep. It's barely past seven, but he didn't sleep well this morning. At least if he's unconscious he doesn't need to deal with the crushing weight of his parents' disappointment and worry.

The decision is made for him when his phone buzzes with a notification from Tumblr.

tell ur parents thanks for letting me stay and tell pj thanks for bringing me home and tell urself thanks for the uhhhh experience lmao its deffo not one im gonna forget anytime soon

Phil huffs a laugh and gets comfortable. You're very welcome. I'll tell them when I come out of hiding.

arent you in a very small car on your way to brighton mate… how tf do you manage to hide in there when youre huge

Oh I'm not in the car, I'm still at my parents' place. It's a long story and I hate typing a bunch on my phone. Phil grimaces at himself for the way that sounds, like he's cutting off any questions Dan might have before they ask. He sends another message. Voice call me on Skype or something if you wanna hear about my no good, very bad day.

He doesn't expect Dan to actually call him, let alone immediately, but Phil's phone starts buzzing with a Skype call before he's collected himself enough to find his headphones. He's still detangling while he answers with a sheepish, "Oh, hello!"

"Hi," says Dan. Their voice is low and amused, and Phil can't believe how nice it is to hear after only a handful of hours.

"I'm woefully unprepared, as per usual," Phil rambles, finally getting his headphones in and grinning at the bland wall in front of him. Nobody is here to judge him for it. "You, er, got home alright?"

"Obviously yes," says Dan. "So, you had a bad day?"

"'Cause you had a bad day," Phil sings back to them. The sound of Dan's giggle makes any embarrassment worth it, he thinks. "Yeah, uh, it was rough. So we wanted to look over the footage from last night to see what the camera caught, y'know, but… I don't know how, I don't have an explanation for it, but everything is corrupted. Our audio, our video, our photos. They're all beyond repair."

There's a few moments of silence, where Phil would think Skype had frozen if he couldn't still hear the faint music on Dan's end. Then, "What? You - what? We don't have anything?"

Phil likes the sound of 'we'. He probably shouldn't.

"We tried everything," Phil explains, his heart feeling heavy all over again at the reminder that they spent hours terrified for nothing. "But the corruption isn't even in the exported files, it's on our devices themselves. Chris' phone, our cameras… they're all fucked."

"If you're swearing, it must be fucking serious," says Dan. Phil wants to interrupt then, explain that his policy on bleeping out curses is more about staying monetized and keeping his parents happy than any personal morals, but Dan has already shot past the topic at the speed of light. "So basically we've got no proof we were ever there, let alone that something weird happened - which I'm not saying is some kind of fucking paranormal shit, by the way, but it was weird - and now you've got nothing to make a video with and I never should have told you about this place to begin with?"

"Dan, breathe." Phil waits until he's sure that Dan is at least trying to follow the directive. "It's okay. I'm glad you brought me here. And that's why I'm still in town - I'm going to get more footage."

"Not alone, you're not," Dan says fiercely.

"Peej and the other Scoobs already went home. I just didn't go with them."

"I don't care where your friends are," says Dan. Phil can almost see their hand waving dismissively. "You're not going back there alone. End of story."

The clear insistence in Dan's voice should be getting Phil's back up against the wall. He hates being told what to do with his own projects, needs to be in complete control whenever possible. Instead, he finds himself thinking that it's sweet of Dan to worry like that.

Christ, but he's got it bad.

"I'm still in town either way," Phil says, picking at a loose thread in his sleeve absent-mindedly. "Which my parents are, uh, not thrilled about."

"Really?" Dan sounds genuinely surprised. "They seem like they really love you, mate."

Love has never been the issue. That feels strange to think, cocky almost, but Phil has never really worried that his parents won't love him. Even with the secrets he keeps from them and their fears about the way he lives his life, the worst he's ever expected is disappointment. That just isn't the way their relationship works.

"Oh, they do," says Phil. "But they hate my job, and they think that it's stupid of me to keep investigating a place that clearly doesn't want to be investigated. They believe in ghosts and demons and all that jazz, y'know, they think I'm inviting evil into my life, so they said they'd let me stay here while I work but that we're going to have a 'serious discussion' about my life trajectory when I'm done."

"Ouch. I'd hate that conversation."

"Trust me, it's going to suck. I just got the preview today, and I already know I'm going to want to run away to Iceland."

There's a beat. Then, Dan says, "At least when you're there you can look into the hidden people. You know, the Icelandic elves or whatever that live in a parallel world. That seems up your alley."

"Your mum lives in a parallel world," Phil mutters.

Dan giggles. The sound of it is soft, like they're aware of their own volume, and Phil remembers that Dan lives in some kind of housing with a bunch of other students. He still loves the sound, so much so that he drifts into a nonsensical daydream of making Dan laugh as much as possible and almost misses Dan's voice coming through his headphones again.

"Since you're still in town," Dan is saying, and Phil makes a conscious effort to tune back in, "you should come by the shop tomorrow. I have an early class, but I'm starting work at eleven."

The prospect of seeing Dan again is such a good one that Phil doesn't even hesitate before he's agreeing. It'll be a bit of an effort to get out of bed early enough to avoid his parents and catch Dan for a good amount of time, but Phil feels like it's definitely going to be worth it. He likes Dan, likes being around them if absolutely nothing else, and the ill-advised butterflies in his stomach aren't enough to make him fall on the side of finding this a bad idea.

It isn't until after he's hung up and getting himself a sandwich so he doesn't have to eat an awkward dinner with his parents that Phil realises he's going to have Dan all to himself tomorrow. Well, to himself and to whatever patrons come into the coffee shop. The force of those warm eyes, just focused on him… it's going to test Phil in a way he's not sure he's ready for.

He turns away from the fridge and almost jumps out of his skin.

"Mum," he complains, free hand clutched to his chest. "Don't just stand there, you scared me!"

A smile tugs at Kath's lips, but her arms are crossed and her eyes are staring into Phil's very soul. He feels cornered all of a sudden, like he ought to be clawing for escape.

"Philip," she says, all warmth. There's that slight edge that he remembers so clearly from mishaps as a child, but for the most part it seems like she isn't here to lecture him. He imagines that's going to come from both of them. "This thing that you insist on doing… it's dangerous. You must know that, love."

Phil doesn't actually know that. For the most part, his career hasn't given him anything but boredom and a complex about his own creativity. It's just the odd cases, the ones like the Wilkins house, that get him squirrelly.

"I know, mum," he says anyway. It isn't worth the argument. "But this is my job."

"It doesn't need to be," she presses, and Phil realises that his assumption was very, very wrong. They're going to divide and conquer. She continues like she hasn't noticed the way his whole body is tensing up. "You have such a wonderful mind and loads of ambition, my dear. And that imagination! Gosh, you could do anything that you set your mind to."

Anything he set his mind to - if he actually tried. Phil can hear the words that she isn't saying, that his dad will have no trouble voicing later, and he feels the familiar burn in his throat like he's going to start crying.

He won't. He doesn't cry much, as a rule, but he's well-acquainted with the sensation of holding it back.

"I know that I can," says Phil quietly. He looks down at his sandwich. He isn't very hungry anymore. "Mum, I'm not - I don't do this because I - you know, I like my job."

That's not exactly the truth anymore, but Phil is also well-acquainted with the art of lying to his mother. She doesn't need to know about the doubts that plague Phil, the way that he's felt like he's slogging through videos until they catch his interest properly. That's something he can figure out on his own. He forces his eyes back up at her to drive the point home with a sincere, pleading sort of look.

Her mouth twists, unhappily this time.

"You need to grow up sometime, Phil," she says, so soft that it almost cushions the devastating blow of her words.

Almost.

#quiet on widow's peak #words words words

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johnsbleu · 5 years

Text

Hold My Hand: John Wick & Reader Chapter 49

warnings: nsfw, minor john wick chapter 3 spoilers

The floor in the living room creaks as John walks throughout the house locking up all the doors and making sure everyone is gone. You’re already in the guest bedroom, praying like hell the bed is semi-comfortable for you and John, even if it was the most uncomfortable bed, John would never complain. You, on the other hand, would definitely complain about it.

Bleu pushes the door open with his snout and wags his tail when he sees you. He sniffs the bed a few times, then he groans loudly as he lays at your feet. The lights in the living room go dark, and John’s footsteps get closer as he appears in the doorway.

He leans against the door frame and exhales, “All locked up, and all the lights are off. I did leave on the light above the stove though, just in case someone needs some water or something in the night.”

“Oh, good idea actually. Dan usually gets up in the night for some water.” you say as you watch John start to undress. He throws his dress shirt on the bed and you get out from under the covers and put it on, leaving it unbuttoned, “I’m cold.”

“Well, it looks good.” he says and leans back against the headboard of the bed. He pats the spot between his legs and points at your foot, “You said earlier tonight that your feet hurt.”

“They hurt so bad.” you whimper as you crawl in between John’s legs and rest your feet in his lap.

“Look how tiny your feet are.” he holds up your foot, then puts his hand next to it for comparison, “Tiny.”

“Rub them, Jonathan!” you whine, playfully.

“They also stink.” he says, holding it up to his nose as he laughs and you wiggle your foot out of his grasp. “I’m just kidding.”

“You’re so gross.” you say, closing your eyes when John rubs his thumb into the arch of your foot. He pushes his thumb hard against the knot in your foot, working it loose and you gasp loudly, “Oh, my god, that feels so good.”

“Shh!” John laughs, “Someone will hear you.”

You look at John, cocking up an eyebrow as you open your mouth to moan loudly, but you don’t when his face turns bright red. He continues massaging your foot, and you watch as he starts to smile.

“What’s goin’ on?”

John looks up at you and shakes his head, “Nothing.”

“I don't believe you,” you say, almost singing, “Tell me.”

“I just want to thank you.”

“For what?” you ask, tilting your head.

“For everything. For...” he clears his throat and swallows hard, “For giving me a family.”

“You consider Tess and Jimmy your family?”

“Yeah, your mom too.” he nods and smiles at you, “Your mom is so nice to me, and when I picked her up from the airport, it was so…natural between us. And Dan, he’s cool. It’s just nice having them be so accepting of me. And your mom trusts me so much with you, so that makes me feel really good. I mean, you’re out here on your own, then you moved in with me and she immediately accepted it and…” he leans closer and whispers, “I think she likes me. I think she thinks I’m good for you.”

“Of course she does! John, she loves you. When I talk to her on the phone, the first thing she asks about is you. She really likes you a lot. She goes on and on about how good you are for me.” you watch John as he smiles wide, then it slowly fades. “Did Helen’s family not like you?”

John shakes his head, “Conversation for another night I suppose.”

“Got it.” you laugh and get up to move to sit next to John.

“Tess is like that really annoying little sister I always wanted when I was younger.” he laughs as he wraps his arm around your shoulder.

“Oh, god, I know.” you laugh, “Except she’s my annoying big sister. It’s good to have her. I tend to think I deserve the awful things people say to me, so I’m not the best at sticking up for myself, but Tess, she’s great at sticking up for me.”

John brushes his thumb against your cheek to get you to look up at him, and he smiles sweetly, “You know you don’t deserve the awful things people say to you though, right? And I’ll always be here to remind you of that.”

“Yeah.” you nod and lean up to meet John’s lips for a tender kiss. “So, I have you, Tess, and Jimmy now. Seems like a good trio to me.”

“Yeah, Jimmy really cares about you.” he nods and looks down at you, “Kept asking if you were going to be okay when you were talking to Tess. He was so worried, and he felt so bad because Matt had come with his cousin.”

“Well, that’s not his fault. It’s not her fault either. I’m sure she had no idea who he was, and I’m sure once she finds out, she won’t be going out with him again.”

“Oh, definitely not. Jimmy already talked to her and she was disgusted. She was asking if you were okay, too. That family…worries a lot.” he laughs and presses a kiss to the top of your head as he hugs you, “She told me to hug you for her, so...”

“That’s sweet.” you hug John, then intertwine your fingers with his and sigh, “Can I ask you a question? You can totally say no, I won’t be upset.”

“You can ask me anything.” he says, leaning down to kiss your forehead.

“Did you ever look for your family? You have the resources and the money…”

He nods his head slowly, almost like he knew you were going to ask. He starts to shake his head and looks at you, “No, I never did.”

“Really?” you tilt your head back to look at him and he nods.

“Nope, just figured since they didn't want me, I shouldn't waste my time looking for them.” he says, looking down at you, “I’ve made peace with that.”

They didn't want him. You feel your heart break at the thought of John being so young and not understanding why his parents gave him up.

“Maybe they couldn't keep you. Maybe it was a really unfortunate situation.” you say, trying to play devil's advocate. “Maybe…she was really young and just couldn't take care of a kid. We don’t know the whole story, John.”

He shakes his head, “It doesn't matter.”

“I’m sorry I brought it up. I upset you, I can tell.” you say and feel your heart break again. Upsetting John was your last intention, but you just wanted to know a little more about his childhood.

John lets out a small laugh as he shakes his head, “You didn’t upset me.”

You sit up to straddle John and his hands move to your hips. “Listen, you're my family, John. And you know what, if they didn't want you, then fuck them. They're missing out on the most wonderful man I've ever met in my entire life. You're so full of love, and it amazes me that even after everything you’ve been through, you still have such a big heart. I have literally never met someone like you.”

John cups your face and leans his forehead against yours, “Thank you.”

“I mean it. Jonathan, you are…amazing. I know that word is so overused, but it’s true. You’re so patient with me when I’m having a bad day. You’re understanding when I don’t want to talk about something, and I’ll admit, I am not like that with you.” you laugh and John starts to smile.

“You underestimate yourself a lot. Not many people would have stuck around after finding out their boyfriend is…well, me.” he rubs his thumb over your bottom lip, smiling when you press a kiss to it, “They would have ran for the hills when they saw the guns in my basement and probably been scared of me, but you…you just yelled at me.”

“See, I’m not scared of you.” you say, poking John’s stomach. You wrap your arms around him and he pulls into a bear hug as you two cling to each other in silence.

“Anyone would have left me when they saw the way I was acting tonight.” he whispers and you lean back to look at him, “But I needed to do something. I’m sorry that you had to see it, see me being…”

“Don’t say it. Jonathan Charles Wick, don’t you dare.”

“A monster.” he whispers and you sigh loudly as you slouch.

“Never. Never, Jonathan.” you cup his face and shake your head, “I would never think of you as some sort of monster, and I hate that you think that’s what you are. I’m sorry that someone has gotten into your head and made you believe that, but all I saw tonight was a man protecting someone he loves.” you say, then immediately start to laugh, “God, was that corny or what?”

“It was a little.” John laughs as he pulls you back into his arms. “Been hanging around me too much.”

“Well, it’s true.” you close your eyes, then start to laugh again, “Can you believe I pulled the ‘John Wick is my boyfriend’ card tonight? Who the hell was I?”

John laughs quietly and leans back to see your face, “I was honestly so shocked.”

“I mean, you are just…Jonathan to me. You’re just John.” you shake your head and chuckle, “But I kinda like throwing it in his face who you were. I know he knows who you are. Everyone does. Except me apparently.”

“And I liked it that way. Well, until I thought we were both ready for you to know.”

“That didn’t go according to plan, did it?” you say, and the two of you laugh.

“Can I show you something?” he asks and moves you back to the bed as he stands up. “I'll be right back.”

You watch John leave the room and hear the basement door squeak open. Bleu is at the foot of the bed and perks up a little as John's feet scamper down the steps. After a few minutes, Bleu begins to wag his tail, alerting you that John is on his way back into the bedroom.

“Hi,” you say and kneel on the bed. You notice John holding a manila folder and you look back up at him, “What's this?”

“When we were looking at baby pictures, I thought about these. I didn't look for my family, but I do have some stuff from my childhood. I know you want to know more about it and trust me, it was pretty uneventful.” he sits back down on the bed and taps the spot next to him.

“Okay, well, I definitely don’t believe that it was uneventful. You were in foster care, and you were in the Marines for a while. That’s not uneventful, you’re just leaving stuff out so you don’t make me sad, or so I don’t judge you -- which I never would.”

John laughs and shrugs a little, “Well, what would you say if I told you I went to a school that trained children to become assassins?”

“I would say it’s not the weirdest thing you’ve told me.” you look up at John and smile, “The weirdest thing you’ve ever told me was…hmm, probably that you’ve never seen Titanic. Everyone has seen that movie, Jonathan. Get with the program.”

John stares at you in awe and he exhales in relief, “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate you.”

You pat John’s cheek and smile, “I love you.”

“I love you.” John holds your gaze for a few moments before he looks down at the folder and pulls out some papers, “This is a file with all my information on it.”

“Can I look at it?” you ask, reaching out for it and sitting cross legged next to John.

“Of course.” he laughs and hands it to you, “Why else would I have brought it up here?”

John’s file has him listed all over the world at some point. Hawaii, Mexico, Germany, Italy. You knew John traveled a lot for work, but knowing he was a kid when he went to a lot of these places takes you by surprise.

“Where haven’t you been?”

“Where haven’t I been?” he laughs and tilts his head back as he thinks, “Well, I’ve never been to Australia.”

“Really? Not much assassin business going in Australia?” you laugh.

“No, there is. There’s business going on everywhere, you’d be surprised. I just haven’t had any jobs in Australia. Plus I…work for people who usually do their business in New York.”

“Makes sense.” You shuffle through the papers more and land on John’s birth certificate, and John lets out a small sigh. You look up at John and smile, “We met a few days after your birthday.”

“Did you just realize that, or just not know my birthday?” he laughs and you playfully slap his chest.

“No, I know your birthday, you ass!” you squint your eyes at John as he laughs. “Did you get anything good for your birthday this year?”

“You.” he smiles and you laugh loudly. “Actually, Jimmy got this weird face statue to put my glasses on.”

“You don’t wear glasses.”

“I didn’t have the heart to tell him, he was so proud of this thing.” he says and points over to the strange looking statue on the side table.

“He’s an odd gift giver, isn’t he?” you laugh and look down at the papers again then back at John, “This part is about your parents, not much information.”

“Yeah.” he says quietly, and you can hear the sadness in his voice.

You can see it hurts John that he doesn’t know anything about his family, and you can’t even begin to imagine how he feels. Reaching out to cup his face, he leans into the palm of your hand and closes his eyes for a moment, and you lean forward to kiss his forehead.

“That must be so hard. It must have been really hard growing up and not knowing your family.”

John nods slowly and exhales, “Yeah, it was.”

“Well, if you ever wanted to, we could look into finding them.” you say quietly and John opens his eyes to look at you. “I just want you to know that I’d be supportive either way. Whether you want to find them or not. I will fully support you, and I’ll be with every step of the way if you decide that’s what you want to do.”

“I don’t want to look for them.” he says as his eyes dart over your face, “I have my family now.”

You smile at John and feel yourself tearing up. He leans his forehead against yours and hands you a picture, and you gasp when you see it’s John as a baby. “Ooh, my god!”

“I have no idea how old I was.”

“Hmm, I'd say around nine months. You look the same age as Harper in this.” you hold the picture up next to John and he smiles. “Oh, my fucking god, I see it. This is literally the best thing I've ever seen. Please tell me there's more.”

“There's a few more,” he says and shuffles through the papers and holds up another picture. “I believe I was seven in this picture.”

You start to tear up a little and hold the picture up to John again, comparing the photo to his face. “I want to die, look at how cute you are. Look at your dorky little smile and your hair. Oh, my god, this is the best day of my life.”

John holds up another picture and laughs, “There's a few that were taken by a girl, she was big into photography–” John looks at you and shakes his head, “It wasn’t Helen, and we didn’t date or anything.”

You put your hands up in defense and laugh, “You went there, not me.”

“I think she liked me, but I wasn’t really interested in dating. It was just nice to have someone to hang out with sometimes.” John leans over to kiss you and laughs, “Please don't make fun of me.”

You already feel a laugh rising in your chest and when John hands you the picture, you bend over laughing until your eyes fill with tears. “You're kidding me? Look at you, you're so tiny. How old were you?”

“Mid to late twenties.” he says, leaning over to look at the picture with you. “Probably around your age actually.”

“Your hair was so short.” you say and run your fingers through his hair. “It’s weird to think that you had it really short for the Marines.”

“Yeah, I hated it.” he closes his eyes when you tug lightly on his hair. “I like it better this way.”

“I do, too. You are literally the most gorgeous man I have ever laid my eyes on, you know that?” you say and hold the picture up to John, “Literally, you have not aged at all.”

“I have.” he laughs and grabs another picture. “This girl in this picture was…my first time.”

“Okay, now that is adorable. How old were you?”

“I think I was around 17,” he says and looks at the picture. “I was so nervous.”

“Please, please, please, tell me about it.” you say, knowing damn well it’s going to be embarrassing.

John starts to laugh and looks up at you, “Well, I took her out to this restaurant. I thought I looked so good, I wore this suit that was way too big for me. And she looked very pretty, she was wearing a dress with flowers all over it. We drove down to the beach after dinner, and I laid a blanket down on the ground and…”

“Sex on the beach for your first time. John, how ambitious of you.”

John rolls his eyes and looks back at the picture. “Yeah, bad idea. There was sand everywhere and on top of it all, I lasted about 45 seconds.”

“45 seconds?” you begin to wheeze as John watches you. You try to stifle the laughter and cup John’s face. “That is so fucking funny. I mean, I’m sure it was a wonderful 45 seconds.”

“Hey, don’t laugh, I was nervous as hell. My hands were shaking so bad. I thought she was gonna laugh at me.”

You roll your eyes at John, still laughing hard, “Yeah right, you know damn well that your dick is huge. You have nothing to be nervous about.”

“No, I mean because I didn’t last long.” he says, rubbing your thigh, “Young John Wick… didn’t last long.”

“Yeah, well, old John Wick doesn’t last that long sometimes either.”

John’s mouth drop open in shock and he laughs loudly, “Mean.”

“Hey, I’ll take it as a compliment.” you laugh and look back down at the picture. John has his arm around the girl’s shoulder and a fake smile is plastered on his face. “For it being your first time, you don’t look very happy in this picture.”

“This wasn’t my first time, this was after we were dating for awhile.”

“Oh, so, she was also your girlfriend?” you ask and look up at John.

“She was.” he says. You hand the picture back to John and he looks at it closely, sighing and shaking his head, “She was not very nice to me.”

“Oh, no.” you frown and lean over to kiss John’s forehead.

“She was controlling, and she wanted to marry me almost a month after dating.” he laughs, “I was 17 years old, why the hell would I want to do that? And honestly, I was a little sick of people trying to control me.”

“Well, obviously that didn’t happen.” you say, looking at John. “Unless you have another marriage you’re hiding from me.”

John playfully taps your leg and laughs, “Nope, she dumped me on the same beach that we had sex on.”

“Oh, tragic. I’ll kick her ass for being mean to you.” you say and put your fists up. You try not to laugh at John, but your body starts to shake from holding in your laughter. You cover your mouth and John looks up at you. “I’m so sorry, that’s terrible. I just can’t get over you only lasting 45 seconds.”

John tackles you to the bed and tickles you, “Yeah, I’m sure your first time was funny, too.”

“Oh, my first time was bad.” you say and John nods, waiting for you to tell him. “All you need to know is it was in the basement of a friend’s house, and all my friends listened to us. Well, listened to him. I was quiet back then.”

“Not anymore?” he smirks.

“Nope,” you lean up to kiss him, then flop back on the bed, “Anyway, Tess protected the door for the three minutes that it lasted. He came, and that was it.”

“That was it?”

“Not very satisfactory, I didn’t even…you know. I went home and cried in my mom’s bed for about three days straight. I didn’t really regret that I had sex, I just regretted that my first time was so bad. Then again, everyone’s first time is bad.” you say and lean up to kiss John, “Except with you.”

He laughs and lays down on top of you, “Our first time was pretty good, I’d say we both enjoyed ourselves.”

“It was really good -- amazing, actually. You definitely lasted longer than 45 seconds…maybe 47 seconds.” you tease and John laughs. “It was good though, I remember being so worried you were going to rip me in half.”

John jerks his hips a little and smiles, “Yeah, me too.”

You bite your lip, trying your hardest not to smile, “And the thumb thing you always do…”

John pulls you on top of him and licks his thumb, then slides his hand into your underwear, rubbing your clit slowly. “This?”

“Yes, that. Fuck.” you start to grind against John and close your eyes, but he removes his hand and moves you back to the bed as you try to catch your breath. You glare at John as you pull your nightgown down, “Such a tease.”

He starts to laugh and leans over to kiss you, “I grabbed your baby picture on the way back up. Look at your hair, it’s just stuck all up on top of your head and your cute little smile, you look so proud of your stuffed animals.”

You look over and see John holding your baby picture next to his, “Pretty cute. I really hope our kids look like you though.”

John looks up at you and you shrug, not knowing what to say when you realize it just slipped out. He nods and smiles, letting it go and you feel relief wash over you.

“You’re so damn cute.” John says and holds your picture up next to your face, ��Look at your little smile. You look the same, too.”

“Pfft, yeah, right.” you laugh and shove John’s hand away.

John takes all the pictures and puts them on the side table. He looks over at you as you tuck your hair behind your ear and he points at your ring.

“Where did you get that?” he asks and takes your hand in his, rubbing his thumb over your ring. “It’s beautiful.”

“I got it from Tess, it was my gift from her.” you say and curl up next John. “You like it? She made sure to get blue because it’s my favorite color, and because of this guy.” you tap Bleu with your foot and he looks at you.

“It’s really beautiful.” John says again and you take it off your ring finger, moving it to your middle finger.

“I can’t figure out which finger it feels best on.” you laugh and move it back to your ring finger. “I think it feels best here.”

“You should keep that finger free.” John frowns and you look up at him.

“Why?”

John tries to hide a smile, but he starts to laugh, “You know why.”

“Are you gonna make me Mrs. Wick anytime soon?” you ask and John laughs so loud, it echoes throughout the room. “Sorry, I’ll stop asking, but just know I’m waiting as patiently as I can. And when you do ask…it’s gonna be a yes.”

“Peach, it has to be a surprise. I can’t just do it. Will you marry me? What’s the fun in that? We’re just laying in bed.”

“Yes, I’ll marry you.” you crawl on top of John, hiking up your nightgown a little and John smiles wide.

“That wasn’t a proposal.” he shakes his head and cups your face. Leaning close to John’s face, you grind against him and he laughs. “It has to be special. You deserve something special.”

“Fine.” you run your hands up his chest and onto his biceps, “Your arms are so big. I want them wrapped around me all the time.”

John’s hands move up your thighs as you lean closer, kissing each other passionately. You begin grinding against John as he slowly bucks his hips under you, and you can feel his cock growing harder and harder.

“Wait...” he sits up and moves you back to the bed. He opens the door a crack and looks at Bleu, “Go lay down, boy.” Bleu hops off the bed and John watches as he walks out of the bedroom. “He can come back in after.”

“Oh yeah, definitely don’t want him in here for what I’m about to do to you.” you joke, wrapping your arms around John’s neck as he crawls on top of you. “He’s a good boy though, he protected me tonight.”

“I’m not surprised.” John presses kisses over your stomach as he lifts your nightgown up, “Wish he would have bit Matt’s face off. Bleu is too sweet for that though.”

“My boys protected me tonight.” you cup John’s face and smile sweetly, “Thank you again.”

“You don’t need to thank me.” he says and kisses you tenderly. He lifts you off the bed a little to take off his dress shirt that you’re wearing and his eyes grow wide, glued to your arm.

You look down to see the bruises that Matt left, and you gasp as you attempt to wipe them off like it's a temporary tattoo. You didn't realize that they were even there. Matt gripped you hard and you knew he was probably leaving behind bruises, but your dress had sleeves so you didn’t even think about checking. John sits up straight and gently rubs his thumb over it as he sighs loudly.

“I’m sorry.” he says and you watch as he leans down to kiss your arm. His lips are warm and soft, and you feel his tongue glide against your skin. You sit up and wrap your arms around John, and he pulls you tighter into his arms. “I’m sorry this happened to you.”

“Let’s just forget about it for now.”

John holds your gaze as you kneel on the bed and lift your nightgown up a little as you pull your panties off. He lays down on his back, then he scoots to the center of the bed and kicks the blankets to the floor.

Your fingers wrap around the waistband of his boxers and you tug them off slowly, killing John with anticipation. Still keeping eye contact, you crawl on top of John and pull your nightgown over your head.

“I love you,” you run your fingers through John’s hair and cup his face, “I love you so much.”

You press your lips to John’s as he lays back on the bed, holding you tight to his chest. You lift yourself up a little and reach down between the two of you to slide his cock between your legs. Still keeping your lips pressed together, you roll your hips and John tilts his head back to moan. He bends his knees as he bucks his hips wildly, and the bed creaks incredibly loud to John’s horror.

“This is not going to work.” you laugh and look at John frozen in place.

He slides you back to the bed and sits up to pull on his boxers, “What are we going to do then? There’s no way we can just stop now.”

“Very flattering, Mr. Wick.” you wink, then look around the room as you think, “The basement?”

“The car?” he suggests and you quickly hop off the bed to put on your nightgown again.

“Of course you’d suggest that.” you laugh and lean up to kiss him.

“It’s only because it’s away from everyone.” he says, but you know it has nothing to do with that. John has told you before he wants to have sex in his car, and honestly, at this point, you’re down. He’s so sad about the events that unfolded tonight, and if this helps cheer him up a little, you’re more than happy to do it.

Holding tight to John’s hand, you both tiptoe through the house, and when you hear a noise coming from your bedroom, you freeze in place, “Oh, my god.”

“What?” John turns around, looking at you, then starts to laugh when he hears it too. “They’re having sex in our bed. That’s weird, isn’t it?”

“We’ll just wash the sheets.” you jump into John’s arms, pressing kisses to his neck. “Or buy new ones.”

“I know, but it’s Jimmy and Tess.”

You cock up an eyebrow and look at John, “You’re telling me that if we stayed at their house for the night and I wanted to have sex, you wouldn’t fuck me in their bed?”

John opens his mouth to argue, then he nods, “You got me there.”

Still holding tight to you, John quickly walks out to the garage, turns on the light and quietly opens the driver side door. You hop off of him and he sits down, then taps his thighs, “Hop on.”

You carefully crawl into the car and onto John’s lap. He puts his hands behind you to stop you from bumping the horn with your ass and when you tap it a little, you both start to laugh. You finally get situated, and John slowly and carefully shuts the door.

He lifts your nightgown up and pulls it over your head, throwing to the passenger seat as your lips meet, desperately kissing each other. He reaches between the two of you to pull his cock free from his boxers and you sink down onto him as the two moan loudly.

“Oh, my god,” you say and feel John grabbing your ass, guiding you and moving you faster on his cock.

John’s hand slides up your chest and wraps lightly around your throat, “That feel good?”

“Mhm,” you suck on John’s thumb and he leans forward to pepper your chest with kisses. “You’re so hard for me tonight.”

“Well, you look beautiful tonight, and the way you were moving when we were dancing...”

“Almost came in your pants, didn’t you?” you laugh.

John starts to laugh and he looks up at you, “If I’m being honest, yeah. You’re kind of a huge tease.”

“You have no room to talk. You just stuck your hands in my pants, trying to get me off and then just stopped like it was nothing.” you say and John laughs again.

John reaches down and lays his seat back, and he smiles when you kiss over his chest and up to his neck. The two of you press your foreheads together as you moan breathlessly, and John groans loudly when you rotate your hips slowly.

“Peach, I’m sorry.”

Burying your face in the crook of John’s neck, you start to laugh, “Already?”

John pulls you back so he can see your face and gives you a small smile, “I’m sorry.”

“What?” you look down to where the two of you are connected, but since it’s pretty dark in the garage, you can’t see anything, “You can’t be done already. You didn’t even make…the face.”

“No, I just…I should have been there with you tonight.” he shakes his head and tilts it back against the seat to look at you.

“Baby, don’t. It’s over with.”

“Yeah, but if I had been there, it wouldn’t have happened in the first place.” he says and you roll your eyes. You move to get off of him and he grabs your waist to keep you in place, “What are you doing?”

“John…” you sigh and sit up straight, “Listen, it happened. There’s nothing we can do about it.”

John frowns a little and he cups your face, “I know, but I still--”

“You still wish you could have been there, I get it. I’m okay though, isn’t that what matters?” you lean your forehead against John’s and he nods.

“Yeah, that’s what matters.”

“Are you going to keep bringing this up?” you ask, rubbing your thumb against his beard.

John starts to laugh, then shrugs, “Probably, but I won’t bring it up anymore tonight.”

“I’m fine with that. Now…fuck me.” you say, and you moan loudly as he starts bucking his hips frenziedly.

John moves you to bounce up and down on him, and you put your hand on the ceiling of the car to keep yourself from hitting your head. His hand trails up to your breast and he leans up, sucking on your nipple.

“You’re so wet tonight. Listen to the sounds you’re making.”

“Can you blame me? You looked fucking delicious all day.” you laugh and bite at John’s neck.

“It was so hard to keep my hands to myself today. Right before everything happened, I was gonna pull you into the backyard.”

“What were you gonna do to me in the backyard?” you ask, moaning in the crook of John’s neck. He pulls you back to make eye contact with you, and he smiles cheekily.

“I was gonna bend you over and fuck you as hard as I could. I was gonna rip that dress off of you and take you right in the backyard, listening to you moan my name.”

“Fuck,” you cry out and ride John faster as he begins to breath heavily.

You watch as he leans his head back against the seat, and you tighten around him as you feel him rubbing your clit with his thumb, bringing on your orgasms simultaneously. You tilt your head back and quickly cover your mouth with your hand, feeling a loud moan beginning to surface.

“Let me hear.” John says and moves your hand just as you let out an earsplitting moan.

Holding tight to each other, you ride out your orgasms, moaning and breathing loudly. You tuck your hair behind your ear and look at John as he pants, trying to catch his breath. The windows in the car have fogged over, and you start to laugh when you see your hand print on the window.

“I don’t remember doing that.”

“Wow.” John laughs and looks at you, still holding tight to your waist as he pulls his seat back up. “So…I make a face?”

“Yeah,” you cover your mouth as you laugh. “You always like…scrunch your eyebrows together and tilt your head back when you come. Sometimes you clench your jaw like you’re trying not to scream or something. Wish you would though, then I’d know I’m doing something right.”

John slaps your ass and laughs loudly, “Trust me, you’re always doing something right.”

You grab your nightgown and pull it back over you and nod to the door, “We should probably head back in.”

“Yeah.” he nods and watches you wince as you lift yourself off of him.

John opens the glove compartment and takes a few tissues, quickly wiping himself off, then he grabs more and pats between your legs. As quietly as you can, you open the car door and wait for John to fix himself.

He reaches out for your hand and peeks through the door, then looks at you, “I think we’re safe.”

You tiptoe through the living room and see the kitchen light is on. Peeking around the corner, you see Tess sitting at the kitchen table eating a bowl of cereal.

“What is she doing awake?” you whisper to John and he peeks around the corner.

“Apparently she was hungry.” he walks past you heading for the kitchen, and you pull back him to you.

“What are you doing? You don’t have a shirt on, and you’re only in your boxers.” you point down and he laughs quietly.

John looks down at his boxers and shrugs, “I think she can control herself. She is a married woman after all.”

“I…” you blink at John a few times, and he walks into the kitchen and greets Tess.

“Hey, Tess. Can’t sleep?” he asks, grabbing a bottle of water.

“Oh…uh,” she clears her throat and laughs, “No, I was starving. Jimmy is passed out and I thought I’d just come grab a bowl of cereal, I hope you don’t mind.”

“No, of course not. Eat whatever you want.” he says and from the glass on the oven, you see him lean against the counter. “There’s still some leftover food in the fridge and there’s cake as well.”

“Nah, I was craving cereal.” she says, holding up a box of sugary cereal, “I’m guessing she picked this cereal, you don’t seem like the type to eat this. You seem more like a healthy cereal type of guy. Lots of fiber, I bet.”

“Actually, I picked that, but yeah, she definitely picks out the cereal. She picks out a lot of our junk food.” he laughs.

“Excuse you,” you gasp as you walk into the kitchen, “You buy junk food.”

John looks at you over his shoulder and laughs, “Yeah, but you pick it out.”

“So, what are you two doing awake?”

You and John look at each other, and your cheeks start to burn as you shuffle in place. John takes a big gulp of water so he doesn’t have to answer and you roll your eyes at him. You look at Tess as she leans back in her chair, trying to look at John and his tattoos.

You walk over and sit down next to Tess, pulling your nightgown down when you remember you’re not wearing any underwear. You drum your fingers on the table to get Tess’ attention and she jumps.

“Huh?” she says and looks at you, “Oh, I was…wait, I mean, I couldn’t sleep.”

“I didn’t ask you anything.” you turn around and look at John as he finishes off his bottle of water, “Baby, come here.” John walks over and stands behind you, and you get up and point at the chair, “Sit down.”

“Okay.” John laughs and sits down.

You grab Tess’ hand, pulling her up to stand next to you, “There, now you can look.”

“What?” he says, turning around to look at you.

“Your tattoos. She wants to see them.” you say and look at Tess, “Don’t you?”

“Yeah, sorry. I was trying to be subtle. I was going to wait until you invited us over to go swimming, but since your pool still isn’t filled…” she laughs and you push John forward so she can see his tattoos. She reaches out and brushes her fingers over the wolf on his right shoulder, “Your tattoos are amazing, John. Are you ever going to get more?”

John starts to laugh and shakes his head, “I don’t know. Depends.”

“Depends on what?” Tess asks.

“If we had a baby, I’d maybe get something.” he says and Tess looks over at you and smiles, nudging you and winking. John looks up at you and smiles, “I’d get a tattoo with you.”

“Matching tattoos, how corny. You know what, that’s cute actually. We always wanted to get matching tattoos, and Jimmy and I want to get one as well.” Tess says, still looking at John’s tattoos. “We should all go together and get one.”

You lean forward to look at John and smile, “You can get my face tattooed across your chest.”

John starts to laugh and shakes his head fast, “I love you, but I don’t want that.”

Tess furrows her brow in confusion, “You have two crosses, I didn’t realize you were...religious.”

John chuckles and looks over his shoulder, “I’m not.”

“Well, then why do have them?” Tess teases.

“I was young when I got all of these.”

Tess runs her fingers over the large cross in the middle of John’s back and she gasps loudly, “Jesus, John, this isn’t a tattoo.”

John looks up at you and frowns as you lean over to look at it with Tess. She looks up at you with tears in her eyes and puts her hand over her mouth.

“John, she’s speechless. We did it. We did the impossible.” you say, and John laughs quietly.

“Were you fucking…branded?” she asks, rubbing her fingers over the bumped up skin.

“Something like that.” he says quietly, and he reaches for your hand to pull you back to him.

“Exactly like that.” you say and you watch a tear slide down Tess’ cheek. John’s left hand slides between your legs and onto your knee, and he pulls you even closer.

“Well, I hate this.” Tess says and you move to hug her. “I hate this, John. And not to be weird, but I…want to kiss it and make it better. In a platonic way…if that’s possible.”

“I will!” you say happily and press your lips to John’s back, moving them up to the crook of his neck and he squirms away. “Ticklish.”

When you touch his shoulder, John instantly can tell the difference between Tess’ hand and yours, and he smiles at you over his shoulder. You sit down next to John at the table and watch as Tess continues looking at his tattoos. He props head on his hand, eyes darting over your face as the two of you look at each other.

Tess leans closer to get a better look at the cross in the middle of his back and finally notices the other scars littering his skin. She puts her hand over her mouth and looks at you with tears in her eyes.

“I know.” you whisper and look at her, smiling softly.

“John, baby, you are covered in scars.” she says, and John quickly turns around to look at her. She notices the scars on his chest and stomach, and she covers her mouth again with both hands as she gasps, “Oh, my god.”

“Oh no, not you too.” he laughs and stands up to hug Tess. “It’s okay. I’m okay.”

“I cried the first time I saw them, too.” you say and watch Tess as she stares at them.

She looks at John’s stomach and frowns even more when she sees the splatter of scars, “I know about your job, well, barely anything about your job, but I just…I guess I never thought about it. You getting hurt like this.” she reaches out to touch a scar on his stomach and he flinches.

“Your hands are cold.” he laughs.

“How did you get this?”

“Ask my map.” he laughs and points at you.

“Uh,” you get up and point at John’s stomach, “I think this was the broken bottle, right?”

“Yeah.” John nods.

“And this one?” she points at a scar on his right side.

“A gun. Two bullets.” you say and Tess points at more, “Gun, knife, another knife, gun.”

Tess’ eyes scan over his chest and she sees a thick scar on his collar bone, “What about that?”

“Huh?” you stand on your tiptoes and look at it, “I don’t know about that one.”

“Knife.” John says, “Had to stitch it myself.”

“Oh, my god.” she wipes a tear off her face and looks at you, “How do you do this?”

“Well, I’m always in a constant state of worry when it comes to John,” you wrap your arms around John’s waist and press kisses to his chest. “But I haven’t had to worry about that lately since he hasn’t had a job in a while.”

“Which is still my choice, by the way.” John pulls your arms around him tighter and laughs, “I’m fine, Tess.”

“Listen, I’m blaming everything on this baby.” she starts to sob and she covers her face again.

“Should I start calling you too?” he asks as he laughs.

Tess starts to laugh and exhales loudly, “This is so stressful, and he’s not even my husband!”

John looks over at you and smiles, “Should we head to bed?”

“Yeah.” you nod and John picks you up bridal style as you squeal loudly, “John! I don’t have any underwear on.”

“Ooh, that’s why you two were awake.” Tess nods and brings her bowl to the sink, “Wait…where the hell were you?”

“His car.” you laugh and press a kiss to John’s face.

“You two are wild, let me tell you.” she says, shaking her head.

“Definitely not.” you say and John bounces you in his arms. “Also, don’t think we didn’t hear you and Jimmy about 45 minutes ago.”

“Well, I heard you two talking earlier in the bathroom, so consider it payback.” she blurts out, then covers her mouth when she looks at John, “Sorry.”

John leans closer to your ear and whispers, “She…she heard us?”

You try your best to push the laughs down, but you tilt your head back laughing loudly, “Yeah, she did.”

“We’re going to bed now.” John says, quickly turning around, heading for the guest room.

Tess follows you through the living room and stops at the steps, “Goodnight, you two. Love you.”

“Goodnight.” you and John say together.

“Love you.” you say, waving at her.

Tess laughs loudly as she starts her way up the stairs, “I can see your ass, by the way.”

taglist: @keanubot @raveviolet @deviljoonie @cheekybluefox @ibelielveinmusic @avxgers @beyond-antares @hhighkey @lokismortallove @vladtoly @sanctuarygirl @daily-evanstan @chicksamwitch @star017 @lainalainalain

Sorry I’m so shit with tagging people. lmfao

#john wick x reader #john wick x you #john wick imagine #fic: hold my hand

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selfcallednowhere · 5 years

Text

February 2, 2018 Houston, TX

When they came out, Flans said that this was "TMBG Country." Then he said that the venue was "surprisingly nice" (it actually was really nice--in spite of the show taking place in my hometown, this was my first time being here--not sure if it opened after I moved away or what). Then he said that they were going to be their own opening act but they were actually well-rehearsed, and that they were "the only They Might Be Giants tribute band that matters," and I was thinking "No, that's Sapphire Bullets!" cos that's what he would always say when they were doing that.

The first two songs were the same as the previous night, "Dinner Bell" and then "Damn Good Times," and I had a momentary flash of being worried that they were going to play a very similar set to the night before. They played some great stuff the night before, don't get me wrong, but one of the things I love about seeing them do multiple shows in a row is seeing them play a lot of different stuff. My fears turned out to be unfounded though--they did play some of the same stuff but also mixed it up enough to make it interesting.

The next song was "Hey, Mr. DJ, I Thought You Said We Had a Deal," which is is really really fun live. Curt still wasn't with them for this early part of the tour, and I had to admit the performance was lacking without him after seeing how much he'd added to it at the shows I went to in Brooklyn about a month before this, but it was still fantastic.

After that John said, "This place is so nice that it feels inappropriate to do a high-energy show. We should be doing a TED Talk. We're being too rambunctious."

Then Flans said that they have a new album, and I didn't hear him but apparently some guy in the crowd yelled that it's great, because then Flans said, "Area man says 'great work.'"

Then Flans said that he had his "favorite cheat sheet" and was hoping it wasn't going to get blown away. John said it isn't really cheating if there are no losers. Then he went back to the TED Talk thing and said we'd be able to see it all explained in his Powerpoint presentation. Flans said that the Venn diagram shows that the crowd's acceptance of new material is directly related to the enthusiasm the band brings to their performance of it. Then John said, "I'm gonna flip some paradigms and blow your mind." Then Flans said that on this song he was going to take his mic off its stand "like a Little Lord Fauntleroy."

The song was "This Microphone." This was the live debut of it, so that was two new song debuts in a row after "Mrs. Bluebeard" the night before. Also like "Mrs. Bluebeard," I wouldn't have expected it to work live as well as it did (this has nothing to do with song quality, I just find some types of songs more suited to live performance than others), and it was cool to see the debut of it.

Afterwards, Flans said that it was the first time they'd played it, which he didn't want to say beforehand cos then he would have felt even more self-conscious. Then he thanked Dan for doing such a good job with the solo. Also Marty was using some kind of percussion that I'm not sure what it was exactly--some stick thing he was shaking. Flans said it's banned, and John said it's endangered. Flans said it's considered cruelty, and John said that's because it's still alive.

Then John said something like "How about John Flansburgh getting all the lyrics to that song?" and we all cheered, and I was thinking that the reason he managed to do that was because of the aforementioned cheat sheet, and that if he'd just done the same thing with "Mrs. Bluebeard" the night before he wouldn't have fucked it up so badly, but of course being able to read a cheat sheet would require the assistance of his glasses, and my motives for him wearing them were of course entirely pure and related solely to his ability to correctly sing his new songs and not at all to do with the fact that I think him wearing them is the sexiest thing in the history of time.

Then John said that they'd been playing long enough that they could remember when Youtube wasn't around to document the bad early performances of their songs, and improvised a song on his keyboard, the lyrics of which consisted of just "Makin' shit up/Cos I can't remember the words." Flans said that later they'd get to the stage where the people in the front row know all the words and they don't, and John said "Fucking you do it."

Then they played "Mrs. Bluebeard." John did much better with it than he did the night before, so he must have rehearsed it quite a bit--he still slipped up a couple of times, but he really mangled it the night before, so I was proud of him for doing so much better this time.

After "New York City," Flans said that it was time for an "on-stage Vibe Report." He started talking about how there's a place that he first described as a spa, and then described as an exercise place, and then described as a cult, and said that if you go enough times they give you some bag and Marty really wants the bag. He asked Marty if he's been enough times to get the bag yet, and Marty said you have to refer other people, and Flans said "Cult!"

Then John said that they actually got to sleep in a hotel room the night before. "There's a water spraying thing on the wall and a thing you dry yourself with. We don't know what to do with that." Then he said he'd done his laundry, and I was like "You mean the like three stripey shirts that you're gonna wear over and over for the whole tour?" Flans said that all he'd done all day was get a burrito (which granted does not sound like much, but I can assure you as a native Texan that when I get the chance to return home getting some quality Tex-Mex is always a high-priority activity for me as well).

Next they played "Letterbox," YES YES YES. I love that song SO MUCH and have only seen it a few times since way back in the day.

After that song, John picked up the contra-alto clarinet. Flans said that there's an entire chapter about this instrument in their autobiography, which is entitled In Praise of Inanimate Objects (I would totally read this, for the record). Then he said that it's "not made for drywall."

They played "All Time What." Afterwards, Flans said that we should "enjoy the restraint of the keyboard on the next song," and that Dan was going to be in his own "musical prison cell."

The next song was "Cloisonne." I liked this song with bass clarinet too, but I like it better with the contra-alto just cos I think it's a cooler-looking instrument so I like seeing John play it more.

Next, they played "Particle Man," which featured some quality JL spazziness. The song he inserted in the bridge this time was "Elusive Butterfly," which I haven't seen him do much at the shows I've been to lately--it's such a dumb song, so it amuses me to see him do it.

Afterwards, John said that the key of C is so conventional and he's sick of it, and Flans said he needs more black keys. Then John said that the next song was in the key of F#, if we were playing along.

The next song was "Doctor Worm," which is always so fun live, definitely one of my favorite accordion songs that they actually play on a regular basis to see. This was followed up by "The Famous Polka," which I feel the same way about.

People were yelling something or other after that, and Flans said that they have a computerized light show so it's confusing when people talk to them.

Flans introduced "Trouble Awful Devil Evil" by saying it's the best song on Phone Power. I've also seen him say that "Answer" is the best song on Glean. I don't agree with him in either case, but I do think it's sweet for him to say that the best songs on both albums are John's.

Afterwards, Flans said that they were happy to see that "the dudes in the back didn't bolt" like they normally do during slow songs. He said he wondered what they always do outside, and John said they were "bear-hug dancing." Flans said he has a feeling it involves menthol cigarettes. John: "We don't judge. Yes we do."

Then there was something really funny. John said that there were initials on the setlist and he had no idea what they meant, and Flans said "It's 'as fuck, John." I happened to be in front of a girl who got the setlist at the t-shirt stand after the show, so I can confirm that it did indeed say "AF" after the previous song. It just really amused me that a) Flans would write that on the setlist and b) he'd think John would be hip enough to know that that was what it meant.

Next they played "Bangs," which isn't one of my absolute favorite Mink Car songs, but it is pretty good and pretty fun live.

Next there was "Your Racist Friend," and then something I was really excited to see: "Nothing's Gonna Change My Clothes." FUCK I love that song, and I've only seen it a few times, so yeh it was a big deal for me. It's superfun live too, so happy and bouncy.

Next was "Cyclops Rock," which is one of my absolute favorite Mink Car songs, and also one of those "Flans rocking your face off" songs that I love seeing live so dearly.

Flans said that they were going to take a 15-minute break. John said, "We'll be back in an hour." Then Flans said that the break was going to be "a strong New York 15," whatever that means.

Then they had the house lights turned up so they could count the beards in the crowd. John said that some people were "wearing their beards on the inside." Then they went off on this funny thing with Flans saying that in Austin the beard-to-person ratio was 2-to-1, and John saying that its nickname was "The Double-Beard City." Flans: "There was an ad campaign, 'Keep Austin Double-Bearded,' but it wasn't as successful as the 'Keep Austin Weird' campaign. I think people just hate sequels."

The last song of the first set was "The Mesopotamians." This song is fun live and all, but god, I've only seen three songs from The Else live and it's one of my favorite albums. I just wish they would mix it up a bit instead of always playing this one.

After the break and the "Last Wave" video projected onto the back wall, it was time for the Quiet Storm portion of things. I was really looking forward to it, more than any other part of the show in fact, cos I was counting on them to not let me down by skipping "A Self Called Nowhere" like they did the previous night.

The first few songs were the same as the night before--"Older" and "I Like Fun," both with John on the contra-alto clarinet. During the parkour part of the latter Flans was holding one arm up and out and everyone was cheering a lot, particularly after the "at the age of 58" part--presumably they thought it's his actual age, but I of course know that it's really John's age, not his.

After that Flans said that Marty was playing electronic drums and it was a "once-in-a-lifetime experience." Then he said that this is the Quiet Storm part of the show, partially because they're "playing storm sound effects, quietly" and partially because it was "stormy emotionally" because they were "testing the outer limits" of what Febreeze can do.

John said that the next song was from 1840.

JL: When we played this song in Pensacola, when we said "1840," people went absolutely ape-shit. And we still don't know why. JF: It's "ape-shit bananas." That's the show-biz term.

So then they played "Tippecanoe and Tyler Too," and I was kicking myself for not listening to it a lot on the bus to memorize the lyrics so I could sing along, and resolved to make sure to get them down by the show the next day.

Then John said that 1840 is the old-timey time, but the next song is from the future--1844. One of them said that in the future there are flying beards, and John said, "Flying beards leaving beardtrails. You know what that means." Then he said "Heavens to Betsy!"--I thought it was very cute for him to be using such an old-fashioned expression that no one uses anymore, but I always think it's cute when he does this. (Well, I always think it's cute when he does literally anything pretty much, I guess.)

So then they of course did "James K. Polk." I really do like this song on accordion--I may be really upset by him playing accordion songs on keyboard, but when he does the reverse I definitely am not gonna complain. I mean, if it were up to me he'd play accordion for the entire show like he did in the duo days. Just before the bridge he told Flans "Let your beard fly," which was silly.

And then, at long last, was the moment I've been waiting for for sixteen and a half years, the moment I thought would never come before this tour started: they played "A Self Called Nowhere." I cannot even put into words how special it was for me to see my favorite song for the first time, the song I've been wanting to see more than any other song for as long as TMBG has been my favorite band. I literally got goosebumps. It was unlike anything I've ever experienced at a show. It was everything I hoped it would be and more, and I don't see how any future concert-going experience could ever top it.

After that, Flans was walking over near Marty's drums, and John said, "Don't get those drums angry."

Then Marty walked off stage and it was just The Johns. They did "Istanbul" that way, the version where they're both being really silly with the long drawn-out part with them doing silly things with their voices and stuff, and I think that version is very amusing, but apparently not everyone thinks so, because some woman by me was yelling insulting remarks at them ("I paid $50 for what?" and worse, including swearing I won't repeat). It really pissed me off, and if she'd been closer to me I would've gotten into it with her.

The rest of the band came back for the end of the song for a crazy jam session. Flans introduced them all afterwards and said that they were "re-introducing long-term hearing loss. Save your complaints for the band tomorrow night, because we'll be gone."

Next they played "We Live in a Dump"--Flans gave it its standard intro, which is that it's "about apartment living." I was thinking about how great John's backing vox are on the "then"s, which I'd never fully appreciated before.

Next came a major show highlight--"Don't Let's Start"!!! I was FLIPPING OUT the moment I heard that classic opening riff. I've seen this song shockingly few times considering how popular it is, probably fewer than five times, and it's very close to the top on my list of favorite songs, so yeh it was a really big deal for me. And godDAMN what a good live song! And there was just so much energy in the room, because of course everyone loves that song.

After that Flans said, "We have a new album out. It's a complicated album. It's strictly for adults." I'm not sure what he meant about it being complicated, but I'm pretty sure an album that's jam-packed with death and despair at a level that's high even by their standards is "strictly for adults," yeh.

Then they played "I Left My Body." I do really love this song, and it's also a great live song.

After that Flans said that during the next song Marty's hands never leave his arms. Then he asked how everyone was doing, and, after everyone cheered, said that he could see that there had been some beards grown during the intermission.

John introduced the next song with, "This song is in the key of F, for those of you who give a shit." The song was "Number Three," which is a really fun live song. I still don't understand why they'd put it anywhere in a setlist besides being the third song, but I'm pretty sure that's how it's been every time I've seen it.

After that John said that they've been playing with Marty for a long time, "but we still don't know what the drums ever did to him. It's his dark secret." Then, Flans said that there's a profile of Marty in the new issue of Modern Drummer, and that Marty told him when he was being interviewed he said, "Kids, school is for fools" but they didn't print that part (a minute later he said he didn't really say that).

Next they played "The End of the Tour," which is another amaaaaaazing song that I've only seen a few times, so that was exciting.

Next they played "Spy." That song is so much better live than it is on the album just cos the improv conducting part is so fun. Afterwards, Flans said that that song was "a musical question with no right answer" and thanked us for joining them in their "musical aquarium," whatever that means. Then he said he thought he heard someone on a walkie-talkie, and that sometimes in New York you'll be at a diner or something and there will be construction workers talking on their walkie-talkies and it's weird.

Then they played "When the Lights Come On." I'm so glad they're doing this one live--in addition to being my second-favorite song on the album, it just KICKS SO MUCH ASS live cos it's so rockin'. It really is unusual for John to write a song that's this rockin', that's much more Flans's territory than his, so I was glad for him to have a chance to play a song like that, plus it's just generally a fucking fantastic song.

After that they collaborated on a silly improv song:

JL: We've got a brand-new album. It's the reason we're here. JF: Don't forget about the other songs, John. JL: We also have other songs.

It doesn't really sound funny when I just write it out, but having them actually make it into a song was, trust me.

After that Flans introduced the band again, and then introduced the crew too--he mentioned two people named John, and then asked, "Do we only hire people named John?" But then he said that they also have Fresh, who's on two teams: Team Beautiful and Team Drums.

Next they played "Answer," and after it was over I was randomly thinking that I'd love to see them play "When Will You Die," and they actually did play it next! It was so strange. I don't even know why I was thinking of it right then since the two songs have no connection. Anyway, I love that song live--so much fun, and easily one of the most fun songs to sing along with ever. John apparently thinks it's really fun to sing too--he's always smiling a ton when he does, which always amuses me.

That was the end of the main set. The first encore started with "Why Does the Sun Shine?" That's another really fun live song. They're currently doing it with Flans singing and John doing the spoken parts. Things that were a gas on the sun included "magnets--how do they work?", and the heat and light of the sun were caused by "the nuclear reaction between magnets, hydrogen, how do they work, and magnets." So yes folks, John Linnell has discovered ICP, heaven help us.

After that they played "Wicked Little Critta." I can't believe how fun that song is live when I'm not really into it on the album.

They closed the first encore with that song they always have to play--"Birdhouse in Your Soul," of course. I will never ever ever get sick of that song live, no matter how many times I see it. It still manages to be one of the highlights of the show for me, even though I've seen it at every single show I've ever been to.

They opened the second encore with "Spider." Silly and fun, as always.

They closed with something I've seen a lot but don't think I've ever seen them close with: "Twisting." I think it's a great closing song--it really ends the show on a high note. John was hopping some and it was adorable. Also Flans somehow managed to knock his mic onto the stage (I didn't see exactly what happened cos I was staring at John as per usual) and then had to spend a minute down on the stage, trying to pick it up. Poor Flans--I'm sure he was really embarrassed. But the rest of the band just gamely continued playing.

So that was the end of the show. The Apollo 18 stuff the night before was amazing of course, but if I take out that stuff and just think about the rest of the set, I thought the setlist at this show was actually better. They played some of my absolute favorite songs, many of which I either have only seen a few times or saw a bunch when I was first going to shows years and years ago but haven't much since then. Finally seeing my theme song was most definitely the highlight for me!!!

Other notes: John seemed particularly energetic and happy. I don't know if it was being well-rested from sleeping in a real bed at the hotel or what, but he seemed to be smiling and boppin' around more than usual, and it was adorable. Also he continued his "wearing pretty much nothing but stripey shirts" streak he's been on this year, with this red-and-blue stripey one he loves.

#tmbg #show reviews #yes i'm finally getting this shit done

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phantomphangphucker · 5 years

Text

Wes Plays Match Maker - Phic Phight

Prompt Creator: @deredereart Prompt: After meeting Dani and finding out Vlad is a ghost, Wes’ theories about Phantom seem less absurd to Valerie than before. Summary: Valerie steals Wes's binder and has some questions

Warning: mentions of the violence Dan did

Danny Fenton is minding his own business when someone slams an overfilled stripped black and white binder with notes, pictures and papers sticking out of it at odd ends; onto the table. Danny blinks at it a bit before putting down his milkshake and lifting his head up. “Uh, hey Val? What’s with the binder? That’s a little disorganised for you”, Danny can’t help but smile at her. Valerie gives him a soft but silly smile as she sits down. She jabs a finger on the cover of the binder and says, “Phantom, you damn moron”.

Danny coughs a little bit before composing himself, “um what? Either somehow Phantom turned himself into a kind of sad looking binder or I’m really confused”. Valerie laughs while shaking her head, putting a hand over her face “you are scary good at making up shit in the spot, you know that?”. Then after lowering her hand as Danny chuckles a little, “so I was sitting in class today and that Wes kid is going off with his conspiracy again. But you know what, Danny?”. Danny can’t help but groan and shuffle his feet nervously, “that kid is quite the loony handful isn’t he? And what?”. Valerie smirks, “yeah his theories were pretty crazy and him screaming like a madman doesn’t help. He had a giant bell today to draw attention to himself”. By the time Valerie’s done speaking Danny’s head is on the table and he’s laughing his ass off. Functionally killing his nerves. “I could live with that if he stopped trying to dump white paint and flour on me, he’s wrecked almost half my shirts at this point”, Danny is muffled by the table top.

Valerie nods, “yeah that’s pretty extreme, plus it’s kind of a dick move to be trying to out you like that anyways”. Danny chuckles, “yeah tell me about- wait, what?”. Danny lifts his head up off the table and gives her a puzzled look, just barely concealing his worry. Valerie taps on the binder, “I lifted this off Wes, with all this shit I think the only reason no ones realised is because no one thinks it’s possible”.

“Uh”, is all Danny can think of saying at the moment, he really has no clue what in all Wes has on him. Valerie chuckles lightly and leans her face down to Danny’s, which is only a little bit off the table, facing her. “After meeting Dani I saw Vlad do his whole transformation bit. And you know what?”

“Uh, what?”, Danny makes a point to sound completely confused. Valerie rolls her eyes at his fake confusion, “well half ghosts are real, Dani looks like and is the cousin of Phantom. So...”. Danny tried to look even more confused and is completely panicked at this point, “pretty sure Phantom doesn’t have a cousin”. Is all he gives as a response hoping that by not lying he’ll seem more believable. Valerie leans back and shakes her head at him while smiling, “pretty sure you both said you’re cousins and you know you could have just told me you moron. You were right, there’s no way I could fight or kill something that’s even part human. You included”.

Danny sits up right and rubs his neck, “well alright then...”. Valerie laughs loudly, “seriously? How was I supposed to not put it together. Danny, the minute I found out half ghost were a thing it was pretty hard not to wonder about Phantom. And then with Vlad? Who doesn’t bother changing his first name? Come on Danny?”. Danny throws his hands up dramatically but whispers, “I was 14, never claimed to be creative”. Valerie rolls her eyes, “so...”.

Danny smack his head as he clues in that she’s trying to get him to admit to it, “I’m not much of one for secret telling, Val. But yeah, ok, I’m Phantom”. Valerie smiles softly as Danny rubs his neck looking away from her, “finally, and Danny? Fenton, Phantom? Those sound so similar, at least Masters and Plasmius sound wildly different”. Danny shrugs, “I’m a punny man, I couldn’t resist. But you’re not mad?”.

Valerie rolls her eyes, “I’m not happy but no I’m not mad. I wish you had told me on your own, in the beginning I get you lying cause we weren’t friends in any way. But then we dated and the whole truce with Phantom happened, so why?”. Danny shrugs, sipping his drink a bit before responding, “like I said I’m not much of a secret teller, hell I’ve never actually told anyone. All the people who know either knew from the start or stumbled on it on their own”. Valerie looks a little shocked at this but she understands it, “well I would have trusted you once I knew but I do need to know why you attacked my suit. Did you know I wasn’t in there?”. Danny nods at her, “yeah, Technus was. I knew it wasn’t you Val. I would never fight you full force like that”. Valerie smirks, “good and honestly, I could tell you were never fully trying. I used to take that as an insult”. Danny blinks a couple times before looking sheepish.

Valerie thinks for a second and furrows her brows, “you said from the beginning, earlier, there’s no way you’ve always been half ghost so, like, what the hell Danny?”. Danny raises an eyebrow and laughs, “you’re asking for my superhero origin story?”. Valerie sighs and facepalms, “you can be so awful but yes, yes I am. And I guess you really are, aren’t you?”. Danny shrugs, “well powers, I fight crime, save the city, even the world once or twice. So yeah I’d say superhero fits. Jazz even likes to say I have a hero complex”. Danny shakes his head and chuckles before continuing, “but to put it really simply my parents built a ghost portal, it didn’t work. I went inside it, accidentally turned it on, got half killed. Sam and Tuck where there, lots of screaming”. Valerie looks shocked and a bit disturbed, “that, that was incredibly dumb of you. Also, that sounds horribly painful”. Danny nods frowning, “well the entirety of the ghost zone basically electrocuted me, so yeah. It hurt. I was Phantom when I fell out of the portal, we all thought I was flat out dead till I changed back. And at least I thought the thing didn’t and couldn’t work. Vlad thought the college mini portal would work and yet he still shoved his head in it just as it was turned on”. Valerie facepalms again while grimacing, “ok yeah that’s even more stupid. But that must have been terrifying Danny”.

Danny nods, “once we figured out I wasn’t actually dead, it was sorta ok. More worried about my parents at that point. Now them trying to kill me or dissect me all the time has just become the butt of a joke!” Danny laughs pretty loudly while Valerie looks horrified.

“Danny what! That is so very stupid. I’d say you should tell them but unlike me, I don’t think they’ve ever cooperated with any ghost or half ghost”, Valerie shakes her head as Danny laughs a bit more. Danny sighing, “they’ve cooperated with Phantom once or twice. But even though I know they’ll accept me, I’d rather not deal with them going all scientist on me or trying to “fix me” either”. Valerie nods, totally getting it, “yeah I wouldn’t want my dad trying to change me so I guess I get it. That’s why I was so mad when you revealed me that time, not cool by the way”.

Danny rubs his neck, “yeah, I didn’t really have time to waste and I couldn’t let you take the battle suit. I’m pretty much the only person who could use that thing without dying. Well fully dying”. Valerie responds with an eyebrow raised, “was it really that bad?”.

“Yes, it nearly fully killed me as it was. Any normal human would have died and failed to seal Pairah away again”. Valerie slugs him in the shoulder, “so you almost killed yourself? Christ Danny you dumbass. But I guess there really wasn’t any other way”. Shaking her head, “you’re not all powerful, so maybe ask for help next time?”. Valerie is kind of surprised when Danny starts laughing so hard that he tears up a little, “Val, um you’re kind of wrong on that. If I had wanted to 14 year old me could have destroyed the entire world in the span of 10 years. Hell, that actually happened until I fucked around with the time stream. And that timelines me is actually weaker than I am now, he didn’t even have ice powers”. Valerie is gapping like a fish, “what? You were supposed to destroy the world? What the fuck?”. Danny rubs his neck, “yeah if you want the rundown, because I’m pretty much over the trauma of it at this point. All my family and friends died in an explosion, Vlad adopted me, ripped out my humanity and the ghost me ripped out Vlad’s humanity, the ghost me fused with Vlad’s ghost, murdered human me and then spent the next 10 years mass killing every human and ghost. As well as destroying all the buildings, he threw tanks at people while laughing”. Valerie looks completely freaked out, “what the fuck Danny, that-that is completely awful”. Danny nods looking a little uncomfortable, “yeah and it was a pretty big mind fuck going to that future just as he was trying to destroy Amity. You were there and called young me or me from the past, cute after I saved you from being killed by the evil me. Who’s called Dan by the way”. Valerie shakes her head, “well you are still cute Danny but how the hell did you even stop this future from happening?”. Danny laughs a little, “well Dan came to my, at the time, present and pretended to be me so he could basically murder my friends and family to make sure I became him. But I went and fist fought him, I totally lost but this time ghost saved them and reversed time. He basically pushed restart and thus made it so that I could avoid everyone dying. Dan still exists though, just outside of time having a time out in a thermos”. Valerie shakes her head, “that is ridiculous, well don’t ever go evil”. Danny laughs, “I don’t intend to”.

Valerie shakes herself off, “on a lighter note, you really should look”. Valerie shoves the binder at Danny. While Danny flips through the pages he can’t help but shake his head, “I think Sam and Tuck need costumes or something. At least he’s never caught me mid-transformation”. Valerie chuckles as Danny closes the book, “I know most of it is easy to dismiss but you really should be more careful, you dumbass. Also yeah, costumes is a good idea”. While Valerie’s been talking Danny has gotten an idea, “hey Val? Does he know you have this?”. As Valerie shakes her head Danny grins, sticking his hand in the binder he ectoblasts the contents to smithereens. Valerie jumps a little and glares at him before laughing, “I’m not sure whether that’s smart or just petty Danny”.

After Danny finishes his shake the two go for a walk, “so Danny, now that I know my lifestyle isn’t a danger to you and that you’re being honest. Want to try the whole us thing again?”. Danny grins widely, “absolutely”. Then smirking to himself, “Paulina would totally be jealous”. Valerie shakes her head, “I’m not telling her I’m dating Phantom you moron”. Danny smacks her playfully, “Val think. Valerie and Danny date, Red and Phantom date”. Valerie starts laughing and Danny joins in, Valerie says through her laughter, “Wes is going to have a heart attack”.

“Good!”

End.

#phic phight #phic phight 19 #Danny Phantom #phantom #fan fic #phan phic #mentions of violence #mentions of murder #mentions of mass murder #danny fenton #Valerie gray #wes weston #phantomphangphucker #have a fic suck my dick #team human

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paradisobound · 6 years

Text

I Want It, I Got It: Chapter 4

Summary: Phil Lester was a worker for the BBC in London. Working in the advertising department, he was content being alongside his friend and fellow coworker PJ during every shift. However, the BBC is temporarily being used as a film set for a new movie staring Hollywood ‘It’ star, Daniel Howell. Being stuck as an extra on the set, Phil finds it’s hard to ignore the famous star. And maybe, just maybe, Dan finds it hard to ignore Phil as well.

Word Count: 1.6k (this chapter)

Warnings: Occasional swearing

Rating: Mature (for right now)

Updates will be every Wednesday at 4pm and Sunday at 1pm EST

**MASTERLIST | READ ON AO3**

Phil gets back to his flat with Spike and spends his evening watching the new season of Attack on Titan. He hadn’t gotten around to watching it since he was so busy. Laid on his couch with Spike curled up next to him felt good though.

He felt content and relaxed for once. No real BBC projects going or anything that took up a massive chunk of his time. It was just nice again to have nothing to really do.

His phone vibrated on his lap and he picked it up. First, he saw he had a text from PJ asking if he was interested in coming to his flat for dinner with him and his girlfriend Sophie some time this week. But the other notifications set his mind ablaze.

Dan had went through and liked every single one of his Instagram photos. And he’d followed him. It shouldn’t feel like a big deal but it was. Daniel fucking Howell talked to him today and now he’s following his social media and liking his posts. It feels like a whirlwind of a ton of emotions all at once.

It feels slightly overwhelming.

He quickly goes on his Twitter and sees that Daniel has followed him there as well. He scrolls through Daniel’s Twitter to see his new Tweets and then he decides to do a bit of lurking and see what other people are saying of Daniel.

He searches for Dan’s name and then he begins to scroll through the tweets. Reading them forms a massive pit in his stomach.

To@Danielhowell

@herohowell: Who is that amazingphil that you’re liking all of their photos on Instagram????#whoisshe

To@danielhowell

@dantrash0001: Why did you just follow this guy named amazingphil??

To@danielhowell

@danofficialfanpage: How is filming going? You seem stressed.

To@danielhowell

@holly_rivers98: *Picture Attached*

Who are you talking to inside the BBC?

The picture is a grainy photo of him and Daniel talking just beyond the door way of the BBC. You can barely make them out.

To@holly_rivers98

@howellformore: That looks a bit like the amazingphil he just followed??

To@howellformore

@holly_rivers98: Do you think?? It’s hard to tell.

Phil stopped reading them. It was slightly disturbing to see how obsessed Dan’s fan base was him. The way they immediately were able to see he followed Phil and interacted with him.

He didn’t want to admit that it bothered him...but it did a little bit.

Especially when he knows it means nothing.

He quickly exits Twitter and tries to push the tweets out of his mind. He shoots PJ back a text telling him that he would be good to come to dinner tomorrow night and then he puts his phone off to the side.

He needs a nap...and maybe a drink. But he’ll take the nap now and have the drink later. He adjusts himself on the couch and Spike molds back to his body and he shuts his eyes.

****

“Glad you could make it!” PJ announces the minute he opens the door to Phil and Spike, who was furiously wagging his stubby tail back and forth in excitement. “Sophie was just saying the other day that we should invite you over for a meal.”

“You know Spike and I would never miss one of Sophie’s infamous roast chicken.” Phil says with a smile as he walks inside the door of PJ’s flat.

He supposes that he’s pretty lucky to have friends like PJ and Sophie. He met PJ on his first day of work. Both of them were new—trainees if you will—and they bonded instantly. It also didn’t hurt that they worked in the same department.

PJ was the first person that he really befriended at the BBC so he was glad that out of everything else in his life, it appeared he had a new friend at a work place that he just moved to a new city for.

“Keep saying that,” PJ said with a laugh, “And maybe one day we’ll actually believe it.”

Phil lightly elbowed PJ and let Spike off from his leash. PJ didn’t mind Spike being here, so he gladly always brought him for company when he came over. He took a seat with PJ in the living room on their sofa as Spike ran over to make sure that he could clean up any scraps that Sophie may drop in the kitchen.

“How was it going back to the BBC?” PJ asked, crossing his right leg over his left as he relaxed.

“Not bad.” Phil admitted. “I mean, it’s a madhouse trying to get to the BBC itself but to return back wasn’t so awful.”

“What did they have you doing?”

“They had me film a very short scene with Daniel.”

Pj’s eyes widened, his pupils taking over for the bright green they always were. “What?”

“Daniel requested me for that scene actually. Like the scene was just filming him walking by me and grabbing a coffee but it was still something?” Phil sat back. “After we filmed the scene, he actually came up to me and asked for my social media handles.”

PJ started laughing. “This sounds like a fever dream.”

“The crazy thing is that it’s really not.” Phil said, feeling himself chuckle. “But it’s not like it means anything. I’m sure he follows a ton of other people.”

“Okay, guys, dinner is about ready!” Sophie called from the kitchen, leading Phil and PJ to both get up and head over to help her set the table.

They all grabbed their plates and slowly began to eat when Phil’s phone vibrated in his pants pocket. He normally ignores it, mainly because he’s with guests. But for some reason, he finds himself setting down his fork mid bite and reaching into his pocket to grab it.

Spike’s head was resting on Phil’s feet and he made the show of whining during this time as well when he noticed Phil wasn’t reaching down to drop him a piece of roast chicken.

He looks at his phone, effectively unlocking it just in time to see that he had a message on Instagram. Confused, because he never got messages on Instagram, he opened it up.

As soon as he saw who it was from, his heart dropped and he let out a loud gasp. Both PJ and Sophie were staring at him, wondering what was happening. But how else was he supposed to react when he has a message from Daniel Howell on his Instagram!

“Daniel Howell messaged me on Instagram!”

Sophie dropped her fork and it clattered against her plate. “Daniel Howell? The movie star?”

Phil nodded, staring at the black bolded message that he hadn’t even looked at yet or opened because he was sitting here in complete and total awe.

“Did Daniel Howell just slide into your dm’s?” PJ asked, picking up his napkin and wiping his mouth off.

“I’m not sure.” Phil answered, his hands shaking as he struggled to hold onto his phone in his hand. “I haven’t read it yet.”

“Well read it!”

Phil clicked on the message and looked at it, his heart racing and his mind cloudy.

Danielhowell: Hey! I figured Instagram was a bit more sensible than Twitter. Anyway, it was nice meeting you! I’m going to be in London for another week and I’ve noticed you live here. This is a bit of a reach but I was wondering if you would be willing to show me around? My manager doesn’t want me to go around London alone and I really can’t be bothered to hire a personal tour guide and you seem nice!

“What does it say?” Sophie asked, leaning over the table in eagerness.

“He wants to know if I’d be willing to show him around London.” Phil says, his voice slightly shaking.

“He wants you to show him around London?” PJ asked, his voice one of disbelief. “There is no way! He’s a major actor. Can’t he just hire someone to show him around?”

“He says right here in his message that he doesn’t want to hire a person tour guide so he’s asking me about it.”

Phil passes his phone to both Sophie and PJ and they read over the message with wide eyes.

“I love how he tacked on a ‘you seem nice’ on the end there.” PJ snickered, handing Phil his phone back.

Phil blushed and locked his phone back while he thought about what he was going to do.

“So what do you think you’re going to do?” Sophie asked.

“Well, I should do it right?” Phil said. “This is an opportunity that I shouldn’t miss, right?”

“Well of course not!” Sophie butted in. “It’s not every day that a famous actor asks you to be a tour guide.”

“So I should do it?” Phil clarified.

Both PJ and Sophie answered at the same time. “Yes!”

Phil picked his phone back up and opened the message again. He quickly began typing.

amazingphil: Hi Daniel! I’d love to be your tour guide! Let me know when and I’ll make sure my schedule is free.

He sent the message and set down his phone. He slowly picked his fork back up again to begin eating when his phone vibrated against the table and he blushed at how fast that was.

He had already gotten a message back from Dan.

danielhowell: I’ll make sure my schedule is free sounds like my line :p Anyway, I’ll let my manager know and then get back to you for a date and time! Thanks again! I really appreciate the help.

Phil couldn’t ignore the little tongue-stick-out face that Dan had just sent it how. How could he ignore it? It was sitting right there in the middle of his message!

“Looks like I’m going to be a tour guide for Daniel Howell

#Phan #phanfic #Phanfiction #famous!dan #normal!phil #i Want It fic #au #moviestar!dan #princesslexi763fics

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feelingofcontent · 3 years

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DNP Rewatch: My Evil Piano Teacher

Date video was published: 02/06/2017 (X)

DNP Main Channel Rewatch: 334

This is the first Dan story-time/classic-style dinof video since I Nearly Blinded Myself in September of 2016. This is the video Dan was writing when Phil got this fantastic creepshot.

0:01 - well that is a dramatic start to the video

0:06 - okay, I really love this marble-patterned shirt of Dan’s. also his hair is slowly drifting into waviness

0:11 - “and how they get crushed and die” well this doesn’t sound like a happy story

0:15 - the scented candle collecting has begun. also, after this Dan played piano in front of thousands of people on tour and has improved so much and that makes me so happy for him 🥺

0:33 - this is so cute that Arthur made him want to start learning. and that at 12 he was self-motivated enough to do that

1:07 - that keyboard is such a specific, joint childhood memory

1:22 - did not need that horrifying edit

1:28 - again, the self-motivation and to even find the teacher himself

1:32 - “definitely not a witch” lol

1:46 - awww 😕 just telling us the end of the story up-front here

2:01 - “like an elephant trampling on a sweet innocent flower” Dan always has some great metaphors

2:07 - this is such a look. I don’t remember seeing that wig prior to this video so wonder if he got it just for this

2:14 - Dan’s witch-cackle is great 😂

2:28 - Dan’s face can do so many different things

2:32 - the “hi, my name is...” reference 😂 I love it

2:38 - the voice he does for this is great too

3:01 - this is so mean to tell a child

3:11 - the dimple! even when he’s fake-smiling

3:25 - Fur Elise being his favorite song at 12 is also very cute

3:33 - the sad editing overlay

3:41 - awww, Dan really was working hard for this

4:09 - yeah if you can play be ear, learning sheet music is basically a chore (not a thing I can do, but a couple people in my family can)

4:28 - “she was just a total dick” Dan is not mincing words with this one

4:43 - I would love to know why child-Dan thought that was a good idea

4:49 - I very much want to know what that little sheet of four photo-booth style pictures is

5:09 - yeah now it’s just creepy 😱

5:30 - I’m scared that he continued going back for a bit after knowing about the meat

5:56 - wow that is a clip from an old video

6:14 - the dangers of it being someone from your neighborhood. also, filming this clip outside their apartment door was apparently an experience

6:38 - aw, poor scared little Dan

6:42 - I’m surprised he managed to fit under a bed at their house...that does not look comfortable or clean

7:06 - the flickering light in their hallway really adds to this

7:15 - well we know how the pet hamster ended up going too...

7:40 - he’s really not bad at piano and he practices so much to get the songs right, it seems

7:55 - do we know if he actually did take anymore lessons or not? I don’t think so. He did start practicing more though after this, it seems

7:59 - “instead of just suffering in silence, which I did quite a lot as a child” and “I had a traumatizing childhood didn’t I” from earlier...you can see the slow push towards openness that will lead to Daniel and Depression later in the year

8:12 - that’s a nice positive message to end on like he usually tries to do

8:25 - ah the piano-playing in the BONCAs jacket in the background!

8:55 - both DNP were pushing the side-channel live shows at the beginning of 2017

9:07 - “Arthur is furry propaganda” is quite the sentiment to end on...

I like this video. It’s very classic-Dan, although not really a reasons-why-Dan’s-a-fail.

#dan and phil #dnp #dnpRewatch #daniel howell #danisnotonfire #dan howell #daniel howell videos #My Evil Piano Teacher

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class-wom · 5 years

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What if the story of FX's Legion, created and scripted by TV writer (Fargo) and novelist (Before the Fall) Noah Hawley, is less about the story arc of the series itself and more the story about how and why it got made in the first place? Hawley had improbably turned the brilliant Coen Brothers movie, Fargo, into the acclaimed, separately realized vision of a TV series. So what if Legion was a lark from a prestige cable channel rewarding a very smart writer, and the extended generosity ends up being that Hawley, no fan of superheroes, wants to make a Marvel superhero story about mental illness rather than superpowers? And he also wants to mess with the notion that the hero in question has to be heroic at all.

I mean, if you're FX, with a long history of taking chances on exceptional talents, you probably say, "OK, sure, let's see what you come up with." Which is exactly the answer you want if you love television as a creative exploration rather than predictable, formulaic movement from episode to episode, season to season.

It would certainly explain the triptastic, visually stunning first season of Legion, which was basically a more coherent exploration of weirdness than Twin Peaks. And then the perception-changing second season (Jon Hamm as a narrator that didn't exist before!), which seemed intent on taking a Marvel vehicle (that will unlikely be tampered with again) and giving it a kind of Breaking Bad halo, disconcertingly telling its audience that the person at the center of the story, the hero they were rooting for, was in fact pretty awful.

How else to explain the fact that, by the end of that second season, anyone tuning in for a typical Marvel series was probably tuning out. Legion was seemingly moving from oddball project for Hawley into an experiment that wouldn't likely hold, given how busy he was and the inherent limitations of Marvel-centric superhero stories inside the mind of someone not particularly interested in those limitations or the expectations for that genre.

Translation: You probably wouldn't be too far off assuming, at the end of Legion season two, that Hawley's mindset was: "OK, that was a cool experiment but I'm over it." Of course, that assumption could be way off, and the third and final season of Legion was planned as the end all along (that's certainly the narrative) and all that's left is a pro forma wrap-up where the main character, David (Dan Stephens), course-corrects his Walter White excursion and the series closes with everybody doing the moral and ethical thing and putting the world right.

Sure, maybe, I don't know. I'd probably watch that.

But instead, what looks to be happening after last season's experimentation is that Hawley is once again having a blast reimagining a Marvel superhero show. He is tripling down on the visual gymnastics and mind-altering aspects, but with the kind of narrative focus that will culminate in a three-years-is-ideal big picture analysis, lovingly concluding that he got it all right, or at least right enough to be riveting.

I hope that's true, but without the full season to examine at length (eight total; I've seen four), who knows what will happen. But I'm loving the direction the third and final season of Legion is going in because the journey has been less about Marvel and more about Hawley and, given the television track record of each, I'll take the latter every time.

There's an unmistakable creative energy about each episode of the third season, as if Hawley, his writing staff and collection of directors all gathered around and said, "Let's go out on fire." I'd argue that the second season, which simultaneously seemed to annoy fans of the comic and fall short of satisfying some critics, did its job of upending the narrative built in season one. But it also perhaps had to come to terms with the fact that its weirdness was vast, like its stable of excellent actors, and if the third season was really going to be the end, some snipping would have to be done. It wasn't perfect but it was unfailingly creative, funny and risky, which is often more than enough to overcome quibbles.

Look, Legion was doing most things remarkably well — notably giving people like Aubrey Plaza, Navid Negahban, Bill Irwin and Jemaine Clement, to name a handful of random examples, room to explore and crush the acute weirdness of their characters in a way that few series ever do. (There are 10-minute scenes in every episode of Legion where I'd take just that and only that over a full episode of something else.) And while the work of Stevens' David and Rachel Keller's Syd is the no-doors, no-safety-belt rollercoaster car that fuels the Legion story, at least half the fun of the show is watching other actors run around the theme park with their hair on fire.

Which is to say, sure, if you really want to focus on the plotting, that can be your hill to die on. But all this other vigorous exploration of the mind's infinite possibilities (especially for a mutant) is pretty damned intriguing on its own.

I'm assuming but neither hoping nor demanding that Legion will end with a plot arc that feels satisfying. Season three could end with former hero David dying as the villain at the hands of new hero Syd, who saves the world. It could be David coming back from the depth of madness and harnessing his powers (whatever those really are) and there being some kind of interior peace for him. It could (and likely will) end... differently.

Viewers often come to the realization, after several seasons of a drama, that it's not the thing they'd hoped it would be. This is especially true for genre series like fantasy and sci-fi and superheroes. It seems as if more people should know when they sign up that their results may vary (spoiler: most don't know and thus are disappointed). But with Hawley's Legion, if you were expecting something predictable or literal, well, you weren't paying attention from the very first frame.

The journey is the joy here, and if you want yet another confirmation of that, watch the first episode of season three and look what director Andrew Stanton (all things Pixar) does with the material that Hawley and co-writer Nathaniel Halpern give him.

Season three adds David's real father, Charles Xavier (aka Professor X, leader of the X-Men), in the form of Harry Lloyd (Counterpart, Game of Thrones), and his mother Gabrielle in the form of Stephanie Corneliussen (Mr. Robot), who sheds some light on "The World's Angriest Boy In the World," plus an essential new character, Switch (Lauren Tsai), who is a time-traveler.

If the Professor X revelation pulls back in fans of the comic book or X-Men, it probably won't end well for them. Hawley doesn't seem to have particular interest in the franchise or superheroes in general, and was at least partially attracted to the idea so that he could portray mental illness in a different way — while also having a hell of a time with mind-bending visuals, tricky editing and now, in the final season, hallucinatory drugs adding to the fugue state effect.

Maybe, as someone not particularly interested (fine, not at all interested) in X-Men stuff, I fall into that weird subset where Legion is the perfect series. I just go with what's on the screen, revel in the conceptual ideas and applaud the acting turns, willingly negligent about Marvel-universe connections and never expecting — as others seem to be demanding — that this show, of all shows, be more concise, more linear, more understandable.

Cast: Dan Stevens, Rachel Keller, Aubrey Plaza, Jean Smart, Jeremie Harris, Bill Irwin, Amber Midthunder, Jemaine Clement, Hamish Linklater, Navid Negahban, Lauren Tsai, Harry Lloyd, Stephanie Corneliussen Created and written by: Noah Hawley First episode directed by: Andrew Stanton Premieres June 24, 10 p.m. FX

If I had to pick one single sentence from this review to summarize my current admittedly tortured state of mind regarding this show, it’s this: “Viewers often come to the realization, after several seasons of a drama, that it's not the thing they'd hoped it would be. “ But there are those who already knew this about Yours Truly, whether they needed to or not! 😏 (Also love the unwritten “I’m looking at you, fans of Game of Thrones!”-implications here, lol)

#Legion Season 3 #Review #The Hollywood Reporter

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xsecretblastsx · 4 years

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2x02 - Never Been Marcused

Here we are on a new recap, sadly we say good bye to the hamptons on this episode, but it seems fitting considering is the start of fall after all.

This one of those episodes were I barely remember what happens except for a few scenes here and there from my first watch, so it almost felt like watching a new episode. Anyway here we go.

As usual recap under the cut:

Thoughts I had while watching the episode:

Akward morning after talk between Dan and Serena, not my prefered way for the start of an episode, but what can I do

Well they are kind of cute here, I’ll admit. Though I’m kind of glad Serena’s first instict wasn’t to get back together right there and actually acknoweldging their break up had a lot of reasons behind it.

Blair looks super cute riding that bicycle, so picture perfect. Too bad is only on paper. That Marcus guy is super boring.

Blair can be like “Revenge is so 12 hours ago” but Serena’s is all of us being like “Sure Blair, you totally love Marcus and all of this has nothing to do with Chuck ofc”

I’m not sure if being refered as “ a perfect post Bass palate cleanser” can be taken as a compliment. And just like magic a wild Bass appears.

I’m just here to enjoy the akward moment every single boyfriend of Blair has to endure whenever they realize that Chuck Bass is going to be a relevant part of said relationship.

“For England” Marcus your nation is surely going to be proud of you for acting like a total englishman and accepting to be civil with Chuck Bass, the guy who just totally manipulated you into inserting himself in your date.

“Blair Waldorf a fling... you’re not exactly low maintenance” Serena speaking words of wisdom.

I guess abstinence (on Serena’s side mostly) was hard for Serena and Dan, otherwise I can’t understand why they’re acting as if keeping their hands to themselves is so difficutl, they never seemed that type of couple in S1.

Blair called him Charles, I guess she was pretty mad.

That whole sequence of Dan and Serena fooling around on the Jitney is soooo extra, and so unintentionally funny.

Nate’s family drama is never ending, though imagine the tragedy it must be for any UES to lose their money. Auch.

Surprise! Nate’s fling is actually the Duchess.

This whole dialogue: “No offense but don’t you think you’re a little outmached?” “As a guy. Blair wants to be a princess (>.<) and your greatest achievement is owning part of a burlesque club” and the cherry on top “Oh you know is love when you star talking like an assasin” Oh Nate Archibald, I love you.

Also apparently Chuck did spend tme with Bart from time to time, is kind of hard for me to imagine them playing Squash though.

Chuck keeping noble secrets from Nate. That’s love.

Hi Rufus... and Vanessa

Oh Marcus, giving so much intel to his new “best friend”.Also I kind of like the polo/vest combo Chuck’s wearing there. Weird.

“I have to present myself as crown jewel, sorrounded by other smaller slightly flawed gems, but quality stones nonetheless” this is such Blair thing to say haha.

“If you can’t find common ground wiht a dictator I don’t know who can” The added commentary is really making this episode for me.

I’ve never related more to Blair than this moment where she express how great it is that Serena’s free from Dan.

I just love when we get to see how much Chuck actually cares about Nate, selling his shares of Victrola is no small deal.

Nate and Vanessa! I still can’t believe how much I don’t mind, and actually kind of like this ship.

I kind of would love to see Anne Archibald doing her shopping at Salvation’s Army.

I love the combination of that suit with that shirt Chuck’s wearing, the color really suits him. I don’t know why but I’m noticing his wardobre much more this time around. Figures. I do remember thinking the first time around he was going to try and seduce the duchess. Now that would have been another akward moment of “Sorry Nate”

Serena looks so pretty here, even if I’m not that fan of her outfil.

“So she can warn me about the effects of too much botox” auch. Chuck: 1, Blair: 0. and he’s definately enjoying it.

I so wish Rufus had gone to tour again. He deserved to live that dream to the fullest.

“A lowly Waldorf” wow. Even I was hurt by that.

I love it when the GG voice oveer points out how ridiculous everything is. Case in point: “Chuck and Blair’s dates are mother and son, and Nate and Blair are exces, and Nate and the mother are in a book club?”

I get why Nate is mad at Chuck for not being upfront about the money, because it’s not easy addmitting that kind of problems in their wordl and even less accepting that kind of help, but Chuck’s intentions were good. Fact is he always helps Nate anyway he can.

The fact that Dan and Serena’s plotline this episode was basically just trying to resist each other, and I can’t help but think that this was the show’s way of trying to make them be more “chair like”, you know intense chemistry and sex appeal. As if.

“if the best version of the situation is I’m going to become Blair’s father in law I think is just time to move on” Now imagine that, thanks to Nate for putting that horrifying thought in my head.

And this is the start of Nate Archibald the gigolo.

“Oh my effing God” same Blair, same. Props to Nate for still acting so rightous and being all like “I don’t have anything to explain to you”

Blair telling the Duchess how things are going to be now... You go baby Vamp!

“I’m gonna turned it in a novel” so I guess this throway line was the start of “Inside”

Rufus beyond anything was first a Dad, the Humphrey kids got the best dad in the show, the kind of Dad any of the NJBC would have love to have as a parent, and yet they feel they were the unlucky ones.

That last scene between Chuck and Blair is such a display of chemistry a lot of ships wish they had. and the literal definition of what eye sexing each other means.

I feel so bad for Nate and Vanessa right now... with the add visual bonus of her sadly blowing the candles for a date that wasn’t. Feeling sad for Vanessa, now that’s new for me.

So this episode while there are moments that I really liked and it did kind of move the plot forward in some points, it also fills a lot like a filler episode and like I don’t really have much to say about it. Maybe because these storylines while I don’t hate them I don’t particularly like them either, in particular this chapter of the Serena and Dan saga this episode feels such a waste of time, they’re basically stalling because they really don’t want to have the difficult conversation of why they broke up and how they can fix their issues, and so to keep avoiding they distract themselves with taming their unrestrained need for sleeping with each other... sorry but what?

I’m not saying there’s no chemistry between Dan and Serena, but their relationship in S1 except for like 1 or two scenes was very much rooted in cutesy moments, tenderness, and how Serena was better with Dan (ugh) and how he wanted for her, not only because she was super hot, they never acted like “oh it’s so hard to keep our hands from each other, and we can’t resist this atraction” that couple were Chuck and Blair, so on this episode I just can’t buy it, it seems forced, almost as if the show wanted them to be more exciting and outrageous... to keep them as the main couple of the show as they were suposed to be, after all at this point of the show while Chuck and Blair were getting more traction, they hadn’t really overtook the show as they eventually did. It also felt part of the “omfg” vibe the show was going for, that scene in the Jitney was so extra, though in my case rather than getting me into them just made me laugh.

Nate storyline on the other hand is the one that really went places this episodes. It turns out his family is on the brink up bankrupcy because all the legal issues his dad is facing, and because his grandfather won’t help he and his mother are a very precarious situation wich leads Nate to seek help. He tries going to Chuck but on one hand he doesn’t really now how to explaint the situation, and also Chuck’s apparently really busy with scheming his way back to Blair. Except Chuck because he knows Nate is going to refuse him and he can’t help but help him either way sells his shares on Victrola and gives the money to Nate’s mom. Of course when Nate finds out he gets mad, because pride and also because he hates that Chuck lied to him about Victrola and to be fair it hasn’t been that long since they had a big fall out because Chuck wasn’t honest about stuff, so there’s that. Still, I feel I must take a moment to point out how much Nate actually means to Chuck? He loves that club, it’s a place with a lot of sentimental meaning too for a lot of reason and yet Chuck doesn’t hesitate to part with it if meants helping Nate. I know Chuck makes plenty of mistakes and awful things during the show, but these kind of moments are always kind of overlook and I just feel that’s unfair because only focusin on the worst of him, reduces him to this one dimensional villian, and in reality Chuck is one of the most complex characters on this show. These kind of moments are an example of his many layers.

So back to Nate, he ends up going to Vanessa, and I just feel this rewatch is turning me into a Nate and Vanessa shipper. Truth is I never hated this couple, but I was a bit meh to it, in part because Vanessa annoys the hell out of me for the most part, but I always thought she was less annoying with Nate. I like how she just sits and listens to Nate, and I think this is something that his best friends are not always the best at, Chuck tries but he’s more the type of friend that goes into action, he does what is need to do in order help rather than the heart to heart talk, and Nate and Serena’s friendship at this point while getting there, is kind of akward still and also there’s always some crisis going on her life that prevents her for being fully there, and Blair and Nate well.. they weren’t ever the talking type. So Vanessa helps with that, also when the show started Nate wanted in someway to detached himself from the UES and all it’s expectations and so Vannesa was that needed breeze of fresh air, and while she can be as judgy as Dan, I always felt she made more of an effort with Nate to be understanding than Dan ever was with the UES. So I like them, at least for now. Too bad Catherine happens and while Nate was really into the idea of having an affair with her this episode he realizes that’s an awful idea (the fact that she has a step son that’s older than him and is also dating Blair is admiteddly gross) but it’s a desperate time, and she offers him her help... and so we got Nate the gigolo, and that last scene in the taxi when he cancels on Vanessa made me sooo sad.

Lastly we have the Chuck and Blair part of the story, it’s always fun to see them scheming, and Chuck’s tactics these episode are rather sucessful at first and it’s mostly a display of him knowing Blair so well that he’s able to get the upper hand on all of her efforts to get on the Lord and his family good side. I should feel bad for her, in the sense that Chuck’s ruiningin her plans and it’s not fair because if he had showed up to Tuscany everything would be different. And yet I’m kind of glad he gets on her way because truthfully, this is just one of those times that Blair is trying to show herself as something she isnt’ in order to get a guy, and also climb higher in the social hierarchy, and it pains me because at the end of the day is just Blair not accepting herself, like Serena keeps pointing out through all the episode, just show the real Blair sure, she’s anything but low maintainance but there’s a lot of amazing in her that can make her shine to anyone. This plot also reminded me a bit of Blair and the prince storyline and also (because this party was trying to be very pretentious and sofisticated) that saloon thing she did with Dan in Season 5 and just remembering that gives me nightmare. So really not a fan of these particular scenes. In the end she ends up gaining the duchess via blackmail, which I like because I hate the Duchess so I’m all for Blair showing her Queen B side in full display and after this episode I missed it. It’s also the basis of that great moment at the end between her and Chuck in the Van der Bass kitchen, which is easily the most memorable thing in the whole hour and only for that I’m glad this episode exists. The chemistry and sexual tension of this whole scene is amazing and it puts to shame all the Dan and Serena “can’t keep their hand of each ohter” scenes, this is how is done. Sorry Derena.

Random bits I noticed:

The Pierces song playing in the background at the start of the episode, “Boy in a Rock and Roll Band” always puts me in a good mood for some reason.

That pearl headband Blair’s wearing at the party were so popular here for a while, I loved it so much back then, I sort of wish I had one now.

I loved the “Summer 08″ collage the Humphrey’s had in their loft. It also had this phrase “ I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word in reality... I still believe that we shall overcome” by Dr. Martin Luther King. Kind of relevant isn’t it?

Having and episode ending with a shot of the NYC skyline at night, while New York, I Love You but You’re Bringing Me Down playing in the background... these are the kind of details I love.

Ending with a Chuck pick because I really like this suit

#gossip girl #gossip girl recap #gossip girl rewatch #2x02 #never been marcused

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