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komahinasecretexchange · 4 years

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Title: maybe not star-crossed (but daybreak)

Author: @fieldofsunflowers8

For: @emmakoneko

Pairings: Hinata Hajime / Komaeda Nagito

Additional Characters: Kamukura Izuru, Nanami Chiaki

Rating: M

Warnings: No specific warning applies beside the ones that could be applied in Danganronpa in general

Prompt: Hajime realising he loves Nagito.

Author’s notes: hi!!! this is my exchange piece for the komahina secret exchange!!! this was super super fun to write, and i really hope my giftee likes it! special thanks to my friend for looking over this and making sure it’s coherent :D have a good day, loves!

Hinata Hajime is not a romantic, but romance fills his thoughts anyway.

It’s an identifier that isn’t exactly of importance, of course. Romance on Jabberwock Island, specifically in the aftermath of the Neo World Program, is something privately kept by each individual pairing. Occasionally, it’ll be the subject of harmless speculation on the slow days, but overall, it is just… a part of life.

A part of life that most of them never got to fully experience.

A part of life that Hinata doesn’t necessarily need to have a piece of.

A part of life that he wants, all the same.

He isn’t certain if it’s the influence of Kamukura on him that makes him hesitate in the face of it. The other is a lull in the back of his head most of the time, diminishing everything to uninteresting, and yet seamlessly taking control when Hinata gives the slightest hint of needing help, slipping into the role of the Ultimate Talent easily. It’s a difficult dynamic, and it would be a lie to consider it a linear sort of thing– lines blur when you are made to become another person, and further, residing with that person in the headspace.

Hinata wonders if, before it all happened, back at Hope’s Peak Academy in the suffocating reserve course dorms, with little to hope for… he maybe pined after romance in a desperate way, if he wanted something to break the suffocating silence, if it would all really be any different to him now.

It’s not something he needs right now, which is what he tries to convince himself matters the most. He has enough overwhelming quiet, and even more overwhelming noise. He has tasks to commit to– even though all of the Remnants have awakened, there are Future Foundation members to call, emails to send, resources to manage, buildings to reconstruct, surgeries to conduct… it keeps him busy, to say the least.

(He hardly allows himself more than the clinical, repetitive process of healing. Not his own healing– that is far from the forefront of his mind. Rather, constructing robot arms and extracting rotting body parts and starting up chemotherapy. For the others. Not him,

never him.)

Prioritizing romance is selfish, in all cases. Putting it before himself and everyone on the island, losing himself in the want of something he isn’t even sure he could recognize, if he saw it in front of him, if he had a flickering chance of love… it’s selfish. Excess. A lapse.

However, there is still a kind of yearning he keeps in the back of his mind, in the endlessly swallowing part of his throat, in the throes of his heart. A sort of fixation, solely focused on a single individual, who keeps him awake through restless nights and sends him directly to the infirmary for more work, who leads him to discover new places on the island that the person tends to frequent, who leaves him with an unfamiliar warmth that his body rejects like a disease because love is not-

One that defies all his wants and needs, all his thoughts on relationships and the others, all his thoughts on the person whom he thought he hated more than anything.

One fixated on Komaeda Nagito.

And this is where his doubt is born.

–

The first time he hears the name Komaeda Nagito is in a time before the seeds of despair were planted by his hands, before The Project became more than just a whisper of Hope’s Peak conspiracy and research. He hears it from Nanami Chiaki, before she became just a program, before an entire class gave into despair at the sight of her death.

He hears it from her at the fountain. Their fountain, he has taken to calling it, because while they aren’t exactly the only people to come here, they are most certainly the two students who frequent it the most. Before, it was a place to admire Hope’s Peak from a distance (one he maintained out of respect, or maybe self-hatred, or maybe an amalgamation of both), but after meeting Nanami, the cynical tones of the setting were replaced with a sort of safe haven.

It’s now comforting, for him, to hear the sound of her game starting up against the sound of rushing water, leaves and blossoms fluttering around them as the sun lights up the campus around them.

In all honesty, it’s easy to get lost in the surroundings, in his own thoughts, especially when he has the space to. Nanami rarely presses any matter, unless it is something she’s particularly passionate about, so Hinata zoning out isn’t exactly an issue for her. It’s not like she doesn’t do the same. Which leaves them with a pretty nice relationship, because either of them are free to completely lose themselves in their thoughts without having to make small talk.

However, he does jar himself back to reality to pay attention to the game she’s playing– it’s a survival game, which is sort of exciting, because that’s the kind of video game he thinks he’d be best at– and listens to the soft breath she always takes before she starts to speak.

“Do you know a lot of Ultimates, Hinata-kun?” is what she asks, her voice as dreamy as usual.

It’s sort of a harsh question unintentionally, since it sort of nags at the parts of him that wishes he could be an Ultimate, would do anything to be an Ultimate, but he shoves that down and keeps his voice casual. (It’s not a big deal, anyway. Nanami affirms him of his worth a lot, and really, he should just… accept that things are the way that they are. But it’s really, really not that easy. Not when everything seems to loom above him, dangling promises of talent and hope).

“Uh, not really?” he answers tentatively. “I mean, I know Koizumi, and I sort of know Kuzuryuu because I’m friends with his sister.” Friends is probably not the right word for it, but being her friend is pretty much impossible. “And I know you, of course. But, I dunno about the others.”

“Mm,” she hums. She focuses back on her game for a while, and Hinata focuses right alongside her, but she ends up speaking again only a few moments later. “I was just thinking… a lot of my classmates would really like you.”

“Oh?” He leans forward, just a bit. “I don’t really know much about them, but maybe?”

It’s not really relevant, in any case, or possible, because I’m a reserve. So, why do I want to entertain this impossibility?

“Well, I can tell you about some of them.” There’s some passion in her voice, underneath the languid sort of pace her words take.

He shrugs. “Sure.”

She opens her inventory as sort of a pause screen, organizing all of the items while talking. “There’s Mioda-san. She’s… sorta loud, but she’s the Ultimate Musician, so that makes sense, I think. She’s really optimistic, she likes bright colors… reminds me of a dancing game… you’d get along with her, probably.” The idea that Hinata could be friends with someone like Mioda Ibuki is unsettling in a hopeless way, but he’s interested in the descriptions regardless. “She gets along well with Pekoyama-san, who’s the Ultimate Swordswoman. She’s really pretty and quiet; she’s defensive over Kuzuryuu-kun, too. Like a Skyrim housecarl, kinda. I remember Komaeda-kun saying something, once, and she was immediately at Kuzuryuu-kun’s defense. I don’t think Komaeda-kun meant it badly, though.”

Hinata tilts his head. “Who’s Komaeda?”

Nanami bites her lip, stacking some potions before saying, “He’s the Ultimate Lucky Student. He’s… sort of an outcast, I think, but he cares about the class a lot. I wish he would talk to us more.” She puffs out her cheeks in a cute way. “You might like him… but you also might hate him. Maybe.”

“Why would I hate him?” From what Hinata’s hearing, maybe dislike would make sense, but hate sort of implies he would have done something… really off.

“Mm… Komaeda-kun has strong views on talent and hope. It might annoy you, but…” she sighs. “I dunno.”

That’s a vague description, but it gives Hinata enough information to sort of… make inferences. Of course, Hinata sort of expected some Ultimates to view talent as superiority, and he knew that some of the adults believed it, but to hear it being an actual thing from someone his age… sort of sucks. At least the rest of the class seems to not agree with it.

But… is Hinata really sure of that?

In any case, he tunes back into the way Nanami continues talking about her classmates, about a sheepish mechanic and a princess she seems to have a slight crush on. He laughs along with her, listens with intrigue and fascination at some of the things her class has done and somehow not gotten expelled for, and feels the sense of peace grow overtime (alongside his quiet bitterness).

All the while, though, part of his mind thinks about Komaeda with a… weird sort of interest.

(And for some reason, Hinata wants to both avoid him as much as possible– which might be a bit harsh, admittedly– and also… maybe meet him.)

–

Hinata doesn’t sleep well.

His sleep patterns vary. Sometimes, he falls asleep in a random place– he’s been found on the floor of the dining hall and at the beach, once, both instances embarrassing– and stays asleep for the better part of a day, barely brushing below twenty hours as he restores his energy. Then, he pushes himself, neglecting rest for three days straight until he downright collapses again.

He tends to get nightmares, too. When he’s sleeping deeply and for a long time, it’s not enough to jar him. When he first woke up from the Neo World Program, though, they were relentless, leaving him paranoid and guilty constantly for all he has done to his friends– his family, now.

His family that he needs to stay awake to care for. His family he has to keep intact– physically and mentally.

(He remembers that, for a week, all he saw in his dreams was a burning warehouse.)

He doesn’t sleep well, working on restocking and labelling all the medications they have in the infirmary, and he finds that none of the others sleep well, either. Some sleep too much, some function on caffeine and nothing else. But there’s one other person on the island that varies with Hinata, not exactly the same but similarly.

Komaeda.

Hinata’s been monitoring Komaeda’s progress closely, almost closer than the way he fusses over the others. Komaeda’s health is precarious, even with the rotting flesh of Enoshima’s arm fully removed from his body, and one of the facets of his lifestyle that directly impacts his not-ideal progress is his shitty sleep schedule.

A simple example: he falls asleep at 4:00 PM, wakes up at around 7:29 PM. He goes to the dining hall, all of the other inhabitants having finished dinner and retired to their rooms for the later parts of the afternoon, and eats a worryingly small portion of dinner. He goes to his room, stays up for hours, and falls again the following day at 10:00 PM, successfully bypassing lunch and repeating the process.

It’s horrible in every possible way– it doesn’t do wonders for his prognoses and mental health, and Hinata doesn’t like the dark circles under his eyes that grow more familiar with each progressing day.

(It doesn’t suit his face. Because, well, Hinata can acknowledge that Komaeda is very, very pretty. But the shadows are… worrying. He still looks beautiful, but he looks more fragile than he’s ever been, even in the green pods, and Hinata wonders why he’s worried in a way beyond medical observation.)

However, there is one benefit to it, a meek silver lining that could hardly be considered one at all: Komaeda and Hinata end up accidentally interacting quite a lot. Komaeda follows lights– buildings with fluorescents open, signalling that Hinata is currently occupying them– and Hinata follows the soft sounds of Komaeda hanging out at the beach, throwing rocks into the ocean or tripping on some ridges and yelping.

The latter ends up happening when he exits the infirmary and sees in the distance a white-haired man face first on the beach shore, and he sighs in a way that isn’t fully exasperated as he walks over to help him out (maybe fond, maybe fond).

Komaeda tilts his face, his cheek still buried in sand, and looks up at Hinata. He decisively accepts his help, straightening himself out and brushing the sand off his pants with a smile. His voice is cheerful– far too cheerful for 5:00 AM– as he says, “Good morning, Hinata-kun! I’m so sorry you had to see me in such a disgraceful way!”

Hinata rolls his eyes. “You weren’t disgraceful. You just tripped. Also, why are you even out here?”

Komaeda’s lips curl slyly. “Do you even have to ask, Hinata-kun?”

“Ah.” Fair enough. “Well, you should, uh, try to get some sleep.”

“Will Hinata-kun get some sleep?”

It’s equally frustrating to talk to Komaeda and get him to do anything… and interesting. There’s also a bit of heat that wants to pour into his cheeks, something he fights with a poker face, at the idea that Komaeda cares about his sleep schedule. Technically, a lot of people on the island do, but it all comes back to the inexplicable feelings he has around the other. In any case, Komaeda’s due for an answer. “I was actually heading back to my cabin to do that.” It’s sort of a lie. Sort of.

(He was probably going to lay awake, staring at the ceiling again. Maybe he’ll think about the other, maybe he’ll think about everything else.)

“Can I come with you?” Komaeda asks.

Hinata squints. “… Why? How would that help either of us sleep?”

“It could be relaxing to be near another person,” Komaeda defends, his logic slightly flawed. “But I understand that being around me is absolutely dreadful, and I shouldn’t impose even the disturbing thought upon another person. I apologize for that, Hinata-kun! I’ll get out of your sight, now!”

“Wait,” Hinata finds himself saying before Komaeda can actually leave. The other stops and looks at him, a curious but not demanding expression in his murky grey eyes. It’s sort of cute. Hinata isn’t sure why, why he looks at the other in that way.

It’s with a defeated sigh that he says, “You can come with me,”

and Komaeda’s eyes light up in a way that’s really, really endearing.

–

The first time he meets Komaeda is a month after his conversation with Nanami.

Stress has settled onto his shoulders, making a permanent residence there, as exams approach at increasingly rapid paces and life-changing emails chase him forward, forward, forward. He finds little enjoyment in his spaces between classes, isolating himself up in his room and hardly having time to reply to any of his friends (not that there’s an overwhelming number of people on that list). Occasionally he takes a break, but these times just remind him that he has so much to do, so much to consider, his entire life might change with a few signatures and-

-he needs a breather.

He ends up leaving half-finished history homework on his tiny desk, nearly tripping over his laundry bin in exhaustion as he makes his way out of the dorms. He figures a small walk might do him some good, since he’s hardly seen the sun as of recent and it might be less intimidating to think through things when he has fresh air to breathe and the soft ambience of nature surrounding him.

He hums to himself for the first part of his walk, careful to stay out of the way of others, but he eventually falls into silence as the number of people around him dwindles. He’s tired– he’s so, so fucking tired– and he should probably be adjusted to fatigue and restless nights, since he’s not exactly new to overworking himself, but he hasn’t. Not fully. And God, he’d probably kill for a nap, for someone to hear him scream everything he thinks, to go to a completely different school for a few days and relax.

But would he even want that? Would he know what to do with so much free time? Would it even be okay, going to a place that would view him as equal, not endlessly lesser than another sector of the school? Would it even make sense to be worth something, when he has spent so long not being worth anything?

It’s in this rumination that he ends up near him and Nanami’s fountain, and he almost expects to see her there…

… but instead, he sees someone else.

The Main Course uniform is the first thing he sees, the red tie loose around the Ultimate’s neck, their jacket still buttoned properly. They must have been out there for a while, since their white hair, unruly atop their head, is slightly ruffled from the wind. Their grey-green eyes that remind Hinata of mercury he had seen in chemistry class is focused on the pavement, but looks up when Hinata’s footsteps grow closer. On their face, there’s a pleasant smile, one that Hinata finds strikingly pretty…

… one that disappears when they make eye contact with Hinata.

He can’t say he expected anything other than this.

“I thought reserve course classes were still in session,” they muse, which is an interesting conversation starter in any case. Paired with the way they were almost glaring at Hinata, it left him with… an unsettling feeling.

“They, uh, aren’t,” he replies eloquently. “They ended a bit ago.”

“Ah.” They smile, slightly, but it looks… more cold than friendly. “Can I get a name? Or should I just refer to you as ‘reserve-kun’?”

Hinata quickly decides he doesn’t like this person. “Uh, Hinata Hajime.”

They nod. “Komaeda Nagito.”

That name is… kind of familiar.

Oh. Oh. That’s the name of Nanami’s classmate. The Ultimate Lucky Student, who has strong views on talent and hope, if he remembers Nanami’s words correctly. Someone that Hinata would either like or hate– and it is strongly veering towards the later– someone who is a bit of an outcast. Someone who Hinata isn’t sure if he should have a lot of pity for, or none at all.

He’s heard more stories since, ones where Komaeda is a background character. He’s gotten the vague idea that aside from his unsettling opinions, he also tends to be an overall concerning individual, with a shocking inferiority complex, calling himself trash near constantly. It seemed to worry Nanami, which in turn worried Hinata.

But from the way this guy is talking, it doesn’t really seem like this guy feels inferior at all. At least, not compared to Hinata. Which is…

… not surprising.

Hinata isn’t really sure how to progress the conversation, especially one that started this oddly, so he figures he should make do with this new information, asking, “Oh, you know Nanami, right?”

“Nanami-san is my classmate, yes.” He tilts his head to the side and sits up a bit straighter. “You must be the reserve she’s friends with, then. In retrospect, I remember she’s mentioned your name once or twice. I thought she was kidding.”

Yeah. Hinata definitely doesn’t like this guy. “Well. She wasn’t.”

“So it seems.”

This conversation is going nowhere. “Well, I’m gonna go. And, uh. Finish my walk. So-”

Before Hinata can leave, Komaeda speaks up. “Don’t you feel awe, Hinata-kun, walking around Hope’s Peak, looking at a school filled with such hope and talent?” He punctuates those words, wrapping his arms around himself and looking up at Hinata. “Doesn’t it put you in your place? Knowing that you’re a stepping stone for hope, just here to further the Ultimates’ abilities? Isn’t it beautiful, so beautiful that you know you’re unworthy of it? Do you have another purpose aside from this, or do you put your value in mindlessly pacing the perimeter of Hope’s Peak Ac-”

“What the hell are you even talking about?” Hinata interrupts. This guy looks really worked up over the random bullshit he’s saying. He’s managed to get under Hinata’s skin really fast– which, yeah, Hinata has kind of a temper, but Jesus Christ.

This must be the whole concerning thing.

Komaeda just smiles wider. “You’re rather disrespectful for a reserve. Shouldn’t you be worshipping me? I mean, I’m utterly worthless in every possible way and deserve to be destroyed like the filth I am– but at least I’m an Ultimate.”

Hinata gives up, walking away from the other and running an agitated hand through his hair. He can hear Komaeda laughing raspily, still at the fountain, and it just forces his steps to go quicker.

(The most aggravating part of all of that is that it hurt. It shouldn’t– the opinion of a slightly-unhinged, annoying, pretty Ultimate shouldn’t hurt him. But it did.

Because there was some truth in that mess of shit he was saying. Hinata is inferior. Hinata would always be inferior to the Ultimates he looks up to– not as much as Komaeda said, but still. The whole being a stepping stone thing, he didn’t get, but… he is unworthy of this place. That much is true. That much hurts.)

He decides, without much hesitation, not to mention the encounter to anyone.

–

“Uh, make yourself at home, I guess,” Hinata says when Komaeda steps into his cottage, his eyes wide as he looks around the scene. Which is fair– Hinata hasn’t exactly had time to clean the place, and he’s sort of a restless sleeper, so it’s a shitshow of a mess, as of current. Komaeda’s room, from what Hinata’s seen, is a lot neater than this, so hopefully he isn’t all that judging.

(Not that Hinata really cares about Komaeda’s thoughts on his cabin.)

“Thank you, Hinata-kun,” Komaeda replies politely, sitting on the edge of the bed. Hinata sits beside him, and they both ignore the bed sheets that are tangled at their feet. “Once again, I apologize for intruding.”

“I invited you,” Hinata points out.

Komaeda frowns a bit. “Well, yes, but-”

“I wouldn’t have invited you if I didn’t want you here. I don’t exactly do things out of pity or kindness when I’ve been awake for over a day,” he states bluntly.

The other stares at him with a weird expression in his eye, something like understanding. “Ah.”

“Yeah.” Hinata kicks the sheets. “Speaking of.”

“Are you going to sleep, Hinata-kun?” Komaeda sort of teases, but there’s a level of seriousness in it. Hinata sort of hates the way the other makes him feel like he’s fucking up by neglecting himself (which is sort of an oxymoron in thought, but). It’s something Komaeda has always done– made Hinata feel like a fuck up, that is– but it’s sort of different, now, when it’s more of a constructive criticism than a blatant attack.

He’s not sure how he feels about the change.

“I was going to talk about you sleeping, actually,” he retorts, clearing his throat.

Komaeda smiles mischievously. “Did you invite me here just to watch me sleep? How flattering, Hinata-kun, but I assure you I would not be able to do harm to others or myself whilst asleep.”

“That’s,” he takes a deep breath, “not what I meant.”

“Ah, okay. Sorry for assuming!”

“It’s fine?” It sounds too much like a question to his ears, but. Whatever. “I just meant, like. I’m sort of concerned about your health.”

“This doesn’t seem like the mood to discuss this,” Komaeda observes.

Hinata blinks. “Was there a specific mood set by any of this?”

Komaeda looks unimpressed. “Hinata-kun, we’re in your room at 5:00 AM, spending time together. I don’t think this is ideal for a medical visit– especially considering how exhausted you are. I thought you were more trying to be a person than a doctor, right now.”

… There’s some truth in that. There’s some pain in that. Hinata doesn’t try to be inhuman in any way, but he knows, deep down, that it’s a difficult task to accomplish. Months of conditioning combined with the instinctual drive for survival resulted in Kamukura’s eternal boredom and apathy to manifest as a defense mechanism, one that Hinata employs in situations that aren’t necessarily defense-requiring. Like administering medicine, or investigating his own psyche, or trying to breach any topic with Komaeda.

He hates it, but it’s part of him, neither nature nor nurture. Just… a trait, forced upon him, one he has to adapt to.

“Hinata-kun?” Komaeda’s smile is thin. “I apologize for overstepping!”

“It’s fine.” He sort of has a headache. Maybe he should sleep. “You’re right. Sorry.”

“Ah, Hinata-kun doesn’t have to apologize! He can do whatever he likes! I still appreciate him regardless!” he reassures enthusiastically, in an almost adoring way.

… And. The thing is.

Hinata has been viscerally aware of Komaeda’s attraction to him ever since he awoke from the Neo World Program. It didn’t take overwhelming amounts of self reflection and memory analysis to realize that Komaeda has had feelings for him, ever since the Despair Era, when neither of them were the person they are now or were before it all began. It’s present in Servant’s endless worship and Komaeda’s subtle (and sometimes, less subtle) affections.

It’s something that Hinata thought, initially, he could just… accept. The fact that the other likes him is simply a fact of life, like the fact that this same individual is still suffering from frontotemporal dementia and lymphoma, like the fact that the other has trauma neither of them can even begin to impact, like the fact that Hinata is privy to entirely too much about the other that he’s hardly aware of.

This is why his yearning and fondness for Komaeda, despite his conflicting thoughts of romance, takes him by surprise. The idea that Komaeda’s affections could be requited is a shocking concept to both of them, one that might be earth-shattering or simply a natural progression of their current behavior. It’s a thought that he keeps in the back of his mind, primarily, believing that not much can be done until Komaeda heals.

And yet, it surfaces in the quiet moments like this, where Komaeda has that energetically adoring expression, where the moonlight accentuates his face in a pretty way that will only get more beautiful with daybreak, where Hinata is just staring at him mindlessly. It surfaces like this, and Hinata wonders, to himself, if he loves the other.

If this is how it comes to him.

“Hinata-kun?”

Or maybe it’s just a lapse.

“I’m tired,” he replies, which isn’t a proper response but it is the only thing he can find himself saying, right then.

Komaeda nods and starts to stand up, “Ah, okay! I apologize if I bored you, I know I can tend to do that. I hope you sleep well, Hinata-kun-”

Hinata catches his wrist.

“Maybe,” he inhales. “You can stay? And sleep beside me?”

Komaeda’s face shifts, emotions spreading across his face like auroras, but they’re quickly stifled by another smile, one that seems a bit more genuine. “Ah, of course! Whatever Hinata-kun wants.” He takes the eagerness Komaeda exhibits while taking off his shoes and scooting to the center of the bed as confirmation that Komaeda wants this as well.

It’s odd how Hinata has the courage to ask something like that, despite everything.

Hinata draws the curtains closed, hoping that the sun won’t wake them up, and he slips beside Komaeda in bed. The other adjusts well to sleeping in someone else’s bed, all things considered, but he looks fairly stiff all the same. Hinata knows there’s nothing he can do to change his slight discomfort– anything he could do would be a bit too courageous, and he’s already expressed a lot of bravery considering that he’s more contemplative than rash, at the moment.

So he lays down beside him, facing the other who faces away, and he finds himself tracing the contours of his body (innocuous and entirely unrelated to medical concerns), the way his hair curls against his nape, how his hands lay at his sides. It calms him to study the other, and he wonders if that is love, if all of this is love, even if he has a thousand other concerns.

It takes a pathetically short five minutes before he says, “Komaeda…?”

“Yes, Hinata-kun?” Komaeda still sounds awake. He wonders if he was planning on sleeping at all.

He breathes out a soft exhale. “Can we talk?”

–

He does not see Komaeda again until after despair overcomes the world.

But by then, both him and Komaeda are separate people. The memories prior to the creation of himself– Kamukura Izuru, that being– are vague and only documented in a diary that Hinata Hajime struggled to maintain. And Servant, while not suffering direct memory loss of everything regarding Hope’s Peak Academy, does not appear to want to verbally recall anything regarding the school to Kamukura. This could be from lack of trust. This could be his nature.

They meet in a bloodied street, bodies scattered across the asphalt in an unpleasing way. From an aesthetic standpoint, it is disgusting, but Kamukura does not necessarily dislike it. He does not dislike anything.

He only finds this despair base.

Servant’s hands are dirtied from crusted blood, which is to be expected. His hair is awry, his face in a considerably tormented frown, and his attire is dirtied aside from his chain that drags obnoxiously loud on the pavement.

Kamukura clears his throat.

His face shifts drastically when he sees Kamukura, which is the most interesting part of his appearance, as of current, and he immediately drops to his knees. It is certainly an interesting display, yet predictable, and Servant’s voice is raspy when he says, “Kamukura Izuru.”

“So you have heard of me.” That is understandable. The only reason Kamukura is at this location, after all, is because Enoshima requested prior to her death that Kamukura take ownership of Servant. She had considered it a present to him, but Kamukura finds nothing to be a gift, especially when it is at her hands.

One of her hands is severed and attached in place of where Servant’s would be. Expectable.

“You’re the Ultimate Hope,” he breathes. “I- I have been looking for you-”

“How convenient,” he cuts off his likely obnoxious rambling. He does not want to hear about his godhood from the lens of a worshipper. “As I was looking for you.”

Servant’s face flushes. “You were looking for me? Ahaha, I’m sure you must be mistaken.”

“Enoshima stated that in her death, you were to be my property. Transitive ownership.” His face twists at the sound of her name, which is not necessarily expected, but can be easily explained retroactively. “You are mindlessly idling, as of current. You plan to travel to Towa City, but have not done so yet. You have killed seventeen people directly in your time of being a Remnant of Despair, but you are growing bored.”

Despite his wide eyes and droll expression, Servant is clever enough to catch on. “You would like me to travel with you, Kamukura-kun? I warn you, I am useless in every possible way and unworthy of your presence.”

Kamukura glares at him. “I will determine that.”

“… Understood.” Servant hesitates before standing up, and there is shocking amounts of excitement in his expression. “I apologize for being overeager, I’ve never travelled with someone like this before. Someone like you before.”

“That is to be expected,” Kamukura says as he begins to walk, stepping over corpses with grace as the Remnant beside him trips and stumbles, babbling about despair and hope and talent all the way.

From there, an attachment forms. They continue to travel in this manner, relocating from place to place with little but each other’s companionship (and what they can find, in this cataclysmic scenario– assorted piles of canned vegetables and month-old water bottles). Along the way grows learning, basic answers to questions that benefit both of them only slightly, though prove to be boring, as Kamukura does not have a favorite color or movie or food. But the basis of small talk leads to a more expanded exploration of morality, of death and life and the liminality of such matters, philosophy and physics and their prediction for where the world will be.

Kamukura discovers, then, that Servant is not capable of matching him in intelligence. However, he nears close to having this ability, exhibiting his cleverness in a distinctly separate way than how Enoshima enforced her analytical prowess upon her victims. It is refreshing, to have this difference. It is refreshing, by extension, to have him.

That is how the evolution of their relationship begins.

Sexual ties between them have been present from the start. Servant is poor at concealing his overwhelming attraction to the other, and Kamukura has curiosities he was not interested in exploring with Enoshima. Thus begins tumultuous, albeit safe to an extent, exploratory intercourse, which Kamukura finds not particularly boring.

Then becomes an inherent domesticity in residing together, in sharing beds (although, Servant only allows himself to sleep beside Kamukura if he is particularly in pain, that day. Kamukura does not necessarily mind if Servant continues to sleep beside him, but it is a matter of principle that is tedious to undo, especially with no distinct want to commit effort to it). Along with sleeping together, there is having meals together, defending each other from robotic Monokumas when it becomes necessary, and even reading together.

It is all not particularly interesting. It is all not particularly boring. It exists in a grey area that Kamukura struggles to define.

He dislikes struggling.

There is a particular day, once, that he would consider lucky (were he to indulge in this thought towards Servant, the other would likely break down) due to the numerous realizations had. The primary one, and the most convoluted one by far, is the realization that he is perhaps infatuated with the other.

It comes whilst Servant is asleep, his body bare aside from the marring of bruises and hickeys, thin sheets layered in dust resting atop him. Kamukura observes him from where he sits at the edge of the bed, admiring the way the red sky highlights Servant’s body in an almost rosy way, porcelain skin glimmering with red contours that made the Ultimate Artist in Kamukura transfixed. Part of him desired to reach out and trace his body on impulse– and it would not be the first time he sought touch out of poorly placed impulse. However, he refrains.

A small part of him– a romantic, likely, in all but practice– finds that touching him may, perhaps, detract from the natural beauty he exudes. It is not like Kamukura is anything other than manmade.

This is a thought that crosses his mind often. Rather, the latter is. However, with Servant in his life as a catalyst, the frequency of such thoughts rapidly accelerates, and he finds a sense of permanence in the other. Something he is rather interested in exploring, given the time. There are many, many inquiries he would indulge in, given the time.

They are not given time.

He had prepared an injection in advance, one to make Servant unconscious for approximately 48 hours. It is enough time to execute a procedure that would remove Servant’s memories of Kamukura, a similar procedure that he will attempt to repeat on himself (he has done thorough research into lobotomies due to his experiences. Even without this research, it would not be a particularly difficult task. However, his emotions pose a hindrance). He is aware that he should inject Servant now, as, according to his predictions and intuition, he has confidence in the fact that the Future Foundation will locate them within that period of time.

He would like to evade them. He knows he is able to, that he has a capacity to outwit them, that Servant would heed every command necessary to guarantee their survival. After all, there is no certainty in the prospect that the Future Foundation would keep them alive.

Despite this, Kamukura is… curious. He is intrigued as to what the Future Foundation will do, once they capture him and Servant, and he knows that they cannot evade the Future Foundation forever. They will grow bored.

It is regrettable, he thinks as he injects Servant with the serum, stroking his hair for purely selfish purposes as he does so. It is regrettable that they did not have infinite time together. However, Servant is dying to his own illness, and Kamukura is dying, metaphorically, to the boredom that he can not fully stave away, even with his agreeable companionship. It is poetic, in the same sense, that they will be captured and perhaps be executed before they could fully breach the barrier of worship and love, something Kamukura is not certain he could attain.

In all senses, it is over, and Servant will not remember him by the time he awakes in the grasp of the Future Foundation.

(A part of Kamukura recalls their first meeting with feigned nostalgia, remnants of the emotion that must have existed before his creation, and he wonders– or, cynically, he hopes– that he may meet the other again, and finish the life they began.)

–

Komaeda rolls over and smiles, slightly sleepy. “What do you want to talk about, Hinata-kun?” After a pause, he asks, “Do you want me to leave?”

“No,” he says with a little too much force. “I’ve just had some. Things on my mind. That I want to talk about?”

It’s sort of a half-truth, because it feels wrong to say that it’s been something on his mind. Because it has been, and it has been for a while– but he hardly knows if what he’s feeling is love, if it’s worth indulging in this when he has so much to work on. If he can even be certain of his thoughts at all.

But he wants to talk to Komaeda– maybe to get perspective, and finally decide.

So, he closes his eyes and starts talking. “I was thinking about the simulation, and before. More specifically, us.”

He can hear the bitterness in Komaeda’s voice when he says, “Ah. How I betrayed and belittled you?”

“Not exactly.” But it’s part of it. “… You said in the simulation that you were in love with me, right?”

There’s a pause. One that’s long enough that Hinata almost wants to open his eyes, but he needs to isolate himself in his thoughts temporarily, dissect the words and his feelings and come to a conclusion. It’s something he’s good at (but love isn’t survival games, or class trials. If they were, he would have figured this out a long time ago, back when Nanami was still around).

When Komaeda eventually speaks, it’s brief but telling. “… Yes.”

“And. You didn’t like me much before all of that, but… as Servant, you-”

“Worshipped and admired Kamukura-kun, yes.” He sounds almost nervous. Komaeda rarely sounds like this, and it’s almost enough to stop pushing. “… Why do you ask? Don’t you already know this, Hinata-kun?”

Hinata sighs. “Yeah, technically. But I’ve been thinking about it more, and…” he opens his eyes, now. Komaeda’s face is vacant– no smile, no frown, just a straight line that wavers if he stares hard enough. His eyes are filled with emotion he can’t uncover, emotions he doesn’t want to uncover. But… he watches them carefully regardless, makes note of how they shift. “We’ve had an interesting relationship, throughout all our time knowing each other. In our one encounter back at Hope’s Peak, we didn’t get along, and things in Despair were… intimate, yet twisted.”

“That’s one way to consider it,” Komaeda says, and it isn’t quite hatred in his voice, but something close. Something Hinata knows not to take personally.

“And. I’ve been thinking about where it leaves us, now. And– I mean, it’s something in the back of my head, but not really. Filling all my thoughts? It just sort of came up while we were sitting here, before I said we should sleep, and sometimes I think about it when I’m not working around the island. So it’s sort of…” a dormant thing, has been in the back of my mind forever because I put it there, because I didn’t want to accept that I like you, because I’m too afraid and I know you are too, but there’s something about you, something about this, and I’m curious to know where it goes- “Yeah.”

Komaeda nods. “I see.”

“I think you know where I’m going with this.”

There’s a silence. Then- “I’d rather not.”

“… Rather not what?”

He already knows, but he wants to hope, wants to hope that Komaeda will allow himself this, despite everything. And yet…

… “Rather not believe what you are implying, Hinata-kun.” And the bitterness is directed at him this time, but Komaeda has always tore at him claws to hide something else, whether it be personal insecurity or infatuation or fear. Hinata thinks it might be all three, now. “You are aware of my love for you, how you could use it to your benefit, how you could disregard me and I would-” his breath catches.

“Komaeda?”

“… hardly complain,” he finishes. “I would hardly complain if you used me, because it’s you. You’re aware that you could make this so easy– and you aren’t even certain of this. I’ve been certain ever since I knew you, even when I hardly knew anything about you, even when I stayed with you to wake up on that island, I knew. But you don’t, and you could make it so easy and just give up on me, because it’s not like I would love you less or hate you more, but you’re acting on impulse. You rarely act on impulse, so why are you…”

There are tears in Komaeda’s eyes.

“… When I first met you,” Hinata starts. “I thought you were pretty. An asshole, but pretty. In despair, Kamukura was interested in you, and he was bored of everything else, even her. And he knew your worship, and that was the most boring part of you, to him, because he didn’t like being treated like a god, not by you. And… and in the simulation, I remember the betrayal I felt when I knew one of the only people I trusted turned their back on me. And- and when I saw your corpse-”

Komaeda shakes his head, but Hinata doesn’t stop. “-When I saw your corpse, I was so fucking pissed, because you’re smart and fucked up and I almost missed you that trial, despite everything. And despite everything, now when I woke you up, when I had to run into the infirmary and out of it and had to do all those fucking psychodives to get you out, I thought it was worth it.”

“Hinata-kun.”

“I thought– I knew, and I know– that you are worth it.”

And even though Komaeda’s stare is intimidating, and even though Hinata’s so uncertain of everything right now, he’s confident in that.

He’s never been more confident in anything, actually.

–

When Hinata wakes up on an unfamiliar island, with an aching head and endless questions about his surroundings, he’s greeted by a stranger, with a slight smile on their face. They had slightly tostled white hair, cloudlike and wispy, that falls just above their dim green eyes, and they have a slender yet alluring physique that Hinata almost finds pretty, in his dazed state.

After they confirm that Hinata is awake, they introduce themself. “… I’m Komaeda Nagito. Nice to meet you.”

Hinata accepts the hand he offers him and stands up, brushing sand off his pants (why are they at a beach?) and replying, “Hey, I’m Hinata Hajime.”

Komaeda leads him around the island, introducing him to all the others that had left him behind, unconscious, on the beach (he can’t really blame him. He’s still embarrassed about how he just… passed out. At least Komaeda isn’t judging him for it). He offers his own quips and commentary about the island, one Hinata finds insightful, if not slightly odd at times, and he begins to develop a trust for the other.

Sort of. Because, well, it’s not like he can really trust anyone, when they all woke up on a random fucking island with no idea of what’s going on, aside from some random shit a rabbit tells them. But, for as weird Komaeda can sometimes be and the weird situation they’re in, he establishes him as trustworthy early on. Someone to rely on, even when everything goes to hell.

(And littered in there, far enough in the back of his head that he sort of forgets about it, he is sort of infatuated with the other. In a super base way– because he’s a teenager, c’mon– but, still. Komaeda’s pretty, and he’s friendly, and he thinks there’s some significance in that.

Of course, everything changes when the first murder occurs. When the trial happens, and truths are revealed. When everything spirals downwards for the rest of their ‘island vacation’, and Hinata realizes that Komaeda should have never been trusted at all.

… But he can’t bring himself to hate him, despite everything. Even when he’s faced with his corpse.)

–

There is a long silence that fills the room, after his admission.

It’s understandable, considering that Komaeda… has never quite had anyone stay by his side as long as Hinata has. He’s probably never considered the possibility of requited love or care of anything, has never been able to reconcile with the idea that Hinata wants to stay despite the fucked-up mess of trauma and disease his brain is filled with. He probably finds himself vacant, like Hinata does, sometimes, like every quirk about him that makes him distinctive and worthy of love is completely null, and that he is cursing Hinata by being around him this long.

It’s more fucked up than Hinata can sometimes conceptualize, but. As he said, it’s worth it.

Hinata breaks the silence, knowing that he should be patient with the other, who has had his mentality partially shattered in a brief period of time, but slightly worried that the progress they’ve made would fall at a stalemate in complete silence. “… Komaeda?”

“Hinata-kun.” His voice is both empty and emotional, and it leaves an ache in Hinata’s chest. “I’m sorry, I don’t think I understand, still. I’m not…” he trails off.

“You are worth it,” Hinata insists, because he knows the way that Komaeda thinks, knows where his mind is going. “We don’t have to do anything, or be anything, if you don’t want to. I just… thought you should know, and I’ve been thinking about it a lot, so. Thought it was worth saying.”

“Worth,” Komaeda echoes quietly. His laugh is at the same volume, raspy and choked. “I… I really like you, Hinata-kun, but I can’t let you endanger yourself.”

Hinata shakes his head. “Your luck can’t affect me badly, remember? I’m lucky too.”

“It has in the past. Before you remember. When me and Kamukura-kun were together, and how bad luck and consequent good luck would follow us around. He thought it was interesting. I knew we weren’t safe. And we weren’t.” He sighs, and Hinata wants to reach out and brush his cheek with his fingertips, ensure that he isn’t just a ghost. “If I hurt you, Hinata-kun-”

“You won’t,” Hinata argues.

Komaeda raises his voice, slightly. “But if I do, then I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. Knowing that you chose to have something with me, despite all your responsibilities and all the risks I bring to you just by existing… it would kill me, Hinata-kun. I’m already dying and I’ve done it once, but… it would really, really kill me. I don’t think I would be able to lose you. I don’t…” He looks so tired.

Hinata reaches out, then, and intertwines their fingers. Komaeda doesn’t push him away, and he takes it as a good sign. “You aren’t going to lose me. And I know we can’t be certain of what’ll happen in the future, but… I think we deserve something good. So much bad shit has happened, and we’re healing and everything, but I think we also deserve to find something like… hope. In each other. Y’know? And, obviously, it’s only if you want. I’m not gonna, like, make you date me, or something.” He squeezes his hand. “But, I don’t want you to keep yourself from someone you want– something we want– out of fear. We’re not going to die, Komaeda. And even if we did… every second that led to it would be worth it.”

Komaeda’s eyes flutter shut. It hurt to see the pain in his eyes, but his scrunched eyebrows and shaky lip is almost worse. “I… I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you want to do?” Hinata asks gently.

“I…” he cuts himself off, thinking in silence as Hinata rubs circles into his palm. Eventually, his eyes open, and his expression is tentative and a bit scared, but Hinata can see some hope in it. It’s almost enough to make him smile, but he fights it off and waits for Komaeda to finish. “I… I want this. But, I don’t deserve it.”

“You want it,” Hinata reminds him softly, “and I want it. So, I think it’s okay for us to have, yeah?”

He hesitates, but eventually says, “… Maybe.”

“Maybe,” he repeats, and then he gives him a slight smile. “I can work with maybe.”

Komaeda responds with a fleeting smile, one that makes Hinata let go of his hand and tug him forward into a warm embrace. Komaeda’s face nestles into the other’s shoulder, and he can hear a muffled voice whisper, “I love you, Hinata-kun. I really do.”

A weight he thought would permanently be on his shoulders disappears, and he breathes out a long sigh of relief as he tightens his grip on Komaeda’s waist. And, with a voice that echoes himself through all of the years of knowing Komaeda, through the stress and irritation and curiosity and trust, in a journey that was just as much his as it was theirs, he says, “I love you too.”

Even after everything.

#komahina #komahina secret exchange #fanfiction

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magioftheseas · 4 years

Text

Scar To Burden

For @badthingshappenbingo

Prompt: Scar to Remember taken from here.

Rating: T+

Warnings: Body horror, mental instability, messiness. Yes.

Notes: It was also part of an art trade of sorts. Because it’s canon Matsun, it ended up a little vent-y. Waaaaah. I should write more MatsuHina. We need more danganronpa zero + super danganronpa 2 content in general.

***Alternate Ao3 Link***

Commission? Donate?

“If you’re gonna keep staring at it,” Matsuda griped. “You might as well just take a picture. It’ll last longer.”

Hinata froze immediately, fingertips lingering on his head scars. In the reflection, he sees Matsuda huff. Sees him stride close, clapping a hand on his trembling shoulder.

“What’s up?” Matsuda asked coldly, leaning in and pressing up against him, sending chills down his spine. “The hell is with that stupid fucking face?”

Matsuda’s thumb presses against the scar, right above Hinata’s ear, where Matsuda’s touch had lingered before.

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“What the hell are you doing here?”

The specter snorts, crossing his legs the way the living Matsuda Yasuke so often did. Hinata tries not to let his gaze trail from the other’s face, not to the legs fading out to nothing and certainly not to the chest under Matsuda’s crossed arms, which looked like it had been stomped in. Over and over. But rather than the expected blood and gore, it was faded around the edges, as if the being were just a wax replica. Except wax didn’t huff at him like that.

“Don’t tell me you’d rather I was someone else,” Matsuda sneezed. “Upset I’m not your stupid fucking girlfriend? God, don’t tell me you’d prefer Junko.”

“Absolutely not,” Hinata snapped, bristling. “It’s just—why now?”

“Dunno.” In typical Matsuda fashion, he was just shrugged at like he wasn’t worth a second longer of thought. “Just felt like it. It’s super fucking boring being dead, y’know. I can only read over people’s shoulders. I can’t eat. I can’t even sleep. Sucks. So fucking bad. Makes me wish necromancy was a talent, not gonna lie.”

Hinata did feel Kamukura Izuru stir inside him. Whether with curiosity or something else, Hinata steeled himself against it.

He’s gone. Matsuda’s gone. That he’s even here is probably just—

“You think I’m an hallucination,” Matsuda droned. “I’m not. Ask me a question, fucker. I’ll prove it.”

“Proof?” Hinata had to laugh at that, mirthlessly as it was. “Like what?”

“Your stupid fucking boyfriend? He’s with the meathead coach right now. Being lugged about like a particular sad sack of potatoes after collapsing during a jog.” Matsuda shows his teeth. “That sniveling not-quite-nurse will be treating him by the time you rush over.”

Komaeda isn’t—

Hinata got up immediately.

(To his utter despair, Matsuda was completely right. He didn’t even know what to say in between Komaeda swearing that he was alright and apologizing for the trouble as Tsumiki insisted she was doing well in treating him, don’t worry, don’t worry, why do you look so pale, Hinata-san, y-you look like you’ve seen a ghost—)

Despite clearly keeping tabs on everyone there, Hinata doesn’t see Matsuda tailing anyone else. Hell, he doesn’t even see Matsuda outside of his cottage. He wonders if Matsuda can control whether or not he’s seen, and he’s too disturbed to ponder it.

This, unfortunately, doesn’t stop Kamukura Izuru, which makes Hinata feel all kinds of skin-crawlingly disgusting. Makes him also want to claw out his skull, to rip the stitches open if he could.

“Jeez, what’s up your rectum?”

What do you fucking think, Matsuda? Rather than spit out the words, Hinata glares at the ghost over his shoulder. He’s trying to read a book Sonia lent him—but of course Matsuda’s too damn clever to buy into the ruse.

“You look constipated,” Matsuda pointed out, cutting through him with such ease. Always capable of cutting through him with well-practiced fingers and an even more skillfully sharp tongue. “You’re so fucking obvious about it, too.”

Hinata wanted to seethe, but willed himself to keep a straight, unimpressed face.

“Boring read, huh,” Matsuda droned, reflecting that same expression back. “Is it because it’s predictable or because it’s just not to your taste?”

“It’s...” Hinata bit back the word boring. His temper flared, and he forced that back down as well for good measure. “It’s hard to focus on anything when you’re breathing down my neck. In a manner of speaking.”

The dead man—boy, really, Matsuda fucking died before he reached adulthood—just quirked an eyebrow at him. The corner of his lips curled into a truly ugly smirk, accompanied by a snort.

“A manner of speaking!” Matsuda rose his voice to an annoyingly nasal high-pitched tone. “Isn’t that book about a fucking doctor who plays god?” He blows past before Hinata can think twice, flipping the pages furiously. “You didn’t even get to the best part! Look here!”

He brandishes it with mock theatrics and a sneer.

“They shove him back,” Matsuda intones, voice low and grave. “Down, down, down he went. They watch him fall. He, who built them, who built up everything—he who looked so much smaller when splattered to bits.”

Hinata said nothing. He just waited until Matsuda fizzled.

“You piece of shit.” Matsuda still got out one last mirthless chuckle. “You’ve already read it, huh? You fucking started fiddling with it, knowing I’d get fucking curious about it. You knew, you knew, you knew.”

Hinata didn’t say anything to that, either.

“Was it satisfying?” Matsuda hissed. “Was it cathartic? Watching that bitch not only fall to pieces but also give up?”

“She was content, Matsuda.” Hinata simply brushed him off. “She was satisfied with the outcome.”

Matsuda’s form simmers with so much anger that it blurs his edges and especially blurs his expression. Like this, you might not even be able to tell that the once neurologist was in tears. What grew especially jagged from these distortions was the gaping maw in his chest.

Despite looking less and less like a once-person, this being couldn’t be further from dissipating completely. Hinata could hear his own heartbeat, and what a wretched sound that was in this utter, tumultuous silence.

“...sorry,” he finally whispers, just for something new. Just to keep himself from trying to dig his nails into his scar. The ghost reshapes itself, only slightly. It drifts close, and Hinata sucked in his breath. “I’m sorry, Matsuda, I... I-I just...”

Matsuda’s fingertips, practiced and cold and gentle as always, brush against his forehead scars.

“You’re unbearable to look at with this,” Matsuda murmured as Hinata’s breath ended up hitching. Like this, like this, the ghost of the guy who helped ruined him really did look like quite the dream.

“You think?” he couldn’t help but ask. “The lines were clean. The stiches tidy. Evenly spaced apart.” Those cold fingers curled against his jaw, and he just leans into that deathly touch. “It’s a work of art, isn’t it? On the outside and the inside.”

“Shut the fuck up.” Rather than with fire or ice, Matsuda’s words are airy and weightless. “Don’t say such creepy bullshit.”

When Hinata does reach up to grip the other’s hand, he phases right through. Because, obviously he does.

Obviously.

“Have you seen anything strange lately?”

“Mm? You’ll have to be more specific.” Komaeda, when perked up and bright-eyed, is especially alert. “Has something happened, Hinata-kun?”

“No.” The lie comes so easily it’s despicable. “I was just asking.”

I’m not the only person that Matsuda’s looking after.

“It’s a strange question,” Komaeda said, cajoling. Hinata still doesn’t bite, even when Komaeda seems serious. “Nothing happened at all?”

“Something is always happening,” he pointed out. “There is no need for suspicion over a simple question.”

“Hahaha. Oh, Hinata-kun. When did you get so unbearable?”

When, indeed?

Somehow, even if he wanted to, he wasn’t sure he’d know how to answer. Maybe he’s always been this way. Maybe he’s only like this because he got on a table and let a guy his own age cut open his skull under the slimy supervision of a farcical medical staff. That same guy had been—

Not...nice. Once upon a time. But, maybe, just maybe, they had a relationship close to being friends. Matsuda would smack him with books and demand food. Would often drag him off-campus and distract him from everything for a good hour. Matsuda was grumpy and abrasive, absolutely not the kind of person he’d normally want to associate with. He was cruel, too, up until Hinata finalized the contract.

It was only after the stupid simulation that Hinata realized that Matsuda never wanted any of this. That Matsuda did care, especially in the way he made the procedure swift and simple...and especially in the way he’d stare at his head scars with the most pained eyes.

How boringly simple Matsuda Yasuke always was. It’s no wonder he had so many regrets.

“If you do see something, let me know,” Hinata said. “I’ll take care of it.”

Komaeda gives him a look, and Hinata wonders about Matsuda’s regrets involving him. Involving damn near everyone in the class that Enoshima Junko got her claws into.

Selfishly, I don’t...

“I don’t want you to worry about them. They’re my responsibility now.”

“Mmhm,” Matsuda hummed, unconvinced as he draped himself over the bed. He was playing with the pages of a manga that Hinata purposefully left out. “Possessive, are you? Fucked up.”

“I’m the one with this.” Hinata tapped his scar. “This is all that remains of you after the simulation was forcibly shut down.”

“Maybe that’s why you can see me,” Matsuda muttered, sounding wholly disinterested. “And here I just fucking thought Kamukura Izuru was an Ultimate Medium or something.”

Kamukura Izuru was. However, Hinata has no intention of being the same.

“I want to be the only one that has to deal with the burden of your memory. You’re right. I’m possessive.”

“Just like her.” Matsuda sneered at him, pointing to where his own heart would be if it hadn’t been stomped to dust. “You’re a piece of work, alright.”

“That’s thanks to you.”

Matsuda chuckles softly under his breath. It’s not just mirthless, it’s downright miserable. His form flickers, too. Hinata idly rubs over the swollen scar tissue, gaze not leaving the other for a second.

“Take a picture,” Matsuda says, flat and irritated. “It’ll last longer.”

I’ll keep this image just as I’ve kept your marks and memory.

#Magi fics #bad things happen bingo #yasuke matsuda #hajime hinata #bad things bingo

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the-septic-maniac · 3 years

Text

True Hope's Peak Academy: The Reconstruction

SPOILER WARNING FOR PRACTICALLY THE ENTIRETY OF DANGANRONPA!

Deraila looked in the mirror checking if they looked okay. They were nervous as today was a very important day. Her and and their long time friend Luna, were holding a press conference announcing that The Ultimates are alive and well. She didn’t wear any formal clothing as she didn’t have any on hand. All she had was her old Hope’s Peak Academy school uniform, her lab clothes and her casual clothes. She didn’t feel comfortable wearing her Hope’s Peak uniform as it gave her bad memories. Her casual clothes consisted of a dark green tank top, black jeans, green combat boots with black laces, fingerless gloves, and a black leather jacket with green buttons. Her lab clothes consisted some of the same clothes as her casual with the exception of having a stained green lab coat, black t-shirt, and and black vinyl gloves. The two things that she constantly wore with all their outfits was a pair of aviator glasses, a belt with pouches that held two separate packs of gum and a jar of candy, and a beanie.

They decided to go with the casual clothing as those were the ones that she was the most comfortable in and they didn’t know how long this conference was going to be. Luna came in wearing a black suit and tie. “You ready?”she asked. Deraila took a deep breath and nodded. “Ready.” Luna walked around and found Mukuro and Taka. “Mukuro. Taka. It’s almost time for the conference. Mukuro, ensure that your crew is ready to go in case of an attack or an incident happens. Taka, is your speech ready?” Mukuro nodded and went off to check on her crew as they were on security. Taka nodded in confirmation “Yes, my speech is ready. Let us hope we can reestablish our connections with the public and start our crusade to a better future.”

Deraila looked at a nearby clock. It was almost 1 PM which is when the conference was supposed to start. Deraila’s heart pounded through their chest as they walked to the entrance hall. She wondered how many questions would involve her past and the former remnants of despair. She got to the door to the outside. Luna and Taka followed not to far behind. The three of them looked at each other, nodded and opened the giant metal door to the outside. We could hear the loud chattering of world representatives and reporters from inside the building even with the loud whirring of the door opening.

When the door fully opened, their senses were bombarded. Crisp, fresh air went into their lungs, the bright sun nearly blinded them, and the sounds of the outside world rang in their ears. Right in front of the entrance was a large group of people and a podium with a microphone on it. The school grounds, with the help of Daisaku and Santa made the outside of the campus more bright and lively looking with all the flowers and trees that were planted.

Taka walked up to the podium, checked the mic and started to speak. “Hello everyone and thank you for coming to the press conference. My name is Kiyotaka Ishimaru and I would like formally welcome you to True Hope’s Peak Academy. Before I introduce our main speakers, I would like to tell you a few things. One, please be aware of the fact that is you cause any problems, we will have security remove you from the premise. Two, please refrain from taking any photos till the end of the conference. Three, please turn your phone off or on vibrate. Four, be prepared for the conference to move into the building as although we have good security, the protesters could pose a risk to your safety. And five, please hold all unnecessary comments to yourself. Now it would be my honor to introduce our main speakers, Luna Wayne and Deraila Septica. These two have keep the lives of the people in this school. They have helped us in hard times and when the future was bleak and grim and riddled with despair, they helped light the way to where we are now.” Deraila and Luna walked up to the podium. “Thank you Taka. My name is Luna Wayne and this is my partner Deraila Septica.” Deraila had her hand on her belt and was fiddling with a pen. “ To get started, let us tell you what we've been doing in hiding.” A large tv was rolled out and a powerpoint come up. “We have been in hiding for almost 10 years and for good reason. In those years we’ve developed our own society, helped others in need that don’t immediately attack us or those who are in dire need. What had started this happened 10 to 12 years ago on this day. Deraila is here to explained what happened.”

Deraila stepped up to the mic. “Thank you Luna. Before I start, I would like to apologize before hand for what I have done in the past and my actions. Awhile ago for those who don’t know, The Tragedy happened. The Hope’s Peak Student counsel had killed each other in a killing “game” after being shown images that were going to be used to blackmail them. Then one of the students, who I will not name for the sake of privacy, who was being experimented on was shown to the world and the accident was blamed on him. At the same time me and another student were being manipulated into creating the animation “Monokuma’s Gloomy Day” and what you all know as the Despair Disease. These were used to manipulate the reserve course students into attacking the main building. A few days later, the class of 77 had witnessed their class rep, die horribly and this made them spiral into a deep and horrible despair and they became what you will all know as the remnants of despair. From that point on havoc wrecked the world. Cities and even entire countries were wrecked with chaos. But the last glimmer of hope came in the form of the 78th class. These guys locked themselves in and were going to live their lives in Hope’s Peak in peace. At least thats what was suppose to happen. You see we had a traitor among us. This person was the exact same person who had planned the tragedy. While me and luna don’t exactly wish death upon a person, we hope that they are in a better mental state. We were put into a killing game just like the student council were. We were shown images of our loved ones in danger. This caused one of the students to try and lure and attack another. But fortunately we were able to stop them in time. It happened with other students as well but we were fortunate enough that with some help from who some of you will know as the ultimate clairvoyant, to stop these events from happening. We were able to get to the basement, after unlocking the floors. What we had found there was horrifying. We had found rooms designed to kill us. Each one was designed to bring us despair in our final moments. The ultimate clairvoyant upon entering these rooms had visions of what these rooms did and who they were meant for. A animator worked with him and they illustrated them to make these videos”

A video popped up on the screen. It showed the what was in the rooms and then showed a animation of who it was meant for getting horribly killed. The crowd gasped in horror as the video went on. When the video stopped the crowd was murmuring anxiously.

Deraila started to speak again “That was what would of happened if we had not stopped the killings from happening. After that we had started to make a plan to recover our loved ones who were being kept in a apartment building nearby. Mukuro Ikusaba, Mondo Oowada, Sakura Ogami and Luna all planed a mission to rescue these valuable people. When we finally rescued these people, some of them arrived with serious injuries. We treated them the best we could. The adults of the group became the council of our society in the beginning. We decided to rescue our fellow ultimates or anyone who had been under attack from what people had called ‘ultimate hunts’. These were conducted in case anyone was found or even seemed like they would have a ultimate talent. With the help of Mondo and Mukuro, they when on rescue missions across the country and even the world to rescue these people and to ensure that they got back safely. They built up their own teams, with two of them being the captives. Of course we couldn't do this with out sponsors. Luna and Togami had connections to many people and they helped us get to were we are know by helping us by giving supplies, giving us rides to the places that we need to get to and helping us build new parts of the school. Eventually we recovered the warriors of hope and the remnants of despair and helped return them to a some what normal state. At the time though, we still didn't have any recollection of what happened in years past. In order to do that, I had to make a modified version of the Despair disease strain, The remembrance disease. From that point on we recovered more ultimates and people who under attack by these ultimate hunts. Then fast forward to a week or two ago when we decided to reconnect full with the outside world. I’m going to hand it back over to Luna.”

Deraila walked back and grabbed a piece of gum out and chewed it anxiously as Luna took the podium again. “Thank you before we get to questions, i would like to thank our security lead by Mukuro Ikusaba and her right hand woman Kanon Nakajima, for keeping watch and ensure that we are safe Now any questions?”

(use the askbox to ask questions)

#Dangan Ronpa #danganronpa #danganronpa 2 #danganronpa thh #thh #danganronpa goodbye despair #goodbye despair #danganronpa au #ultra despair girls #long post #dangan ronpa #udg #udh

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thewildyosho · 3 years

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Danganronpa 3. Talent runs in the blood (English version). Episode 1. Blood brothers

(Although I commented earlier that I would upload the episodes in February, I have decided to start today and upload one episode each successive Sunday until I finish with all of them. Thanks for reading! I hope that, although they are a bit long episodes, it will be entertaining and generate a deep despair in your souls)

- HIROYUKI. All my life I have been normal. But it's not something I'm proud of, because I've met many people like me in my life: with dreams, aspirations, worries and the desire to live. Everything was going well, normal, until I arrived at the most famous academy in Japan; its name is: Hope’s Peak Academy, or should I say "its name was"?

They say that as soon as you get there your life changes completely, and I can assure you of that. But in my case it didn't change in the same way as the talented students: they were the ones who would achieve success and fame one day. Unfortunately for me, my life changed for the worse from the very beginning.

Now being normal wasn't the "normal" thing... Ironic, isn't it? Talent, which was supposed to be essential to fix this world, was slowly destroying it. Hmmm... What if it wasn't talent what was causing the chaos that was about to come? What if it was really arrogance and despotism the ones that were responsible The Biggest, Most Awful, Most Tragic Event in Human History?

×º°"˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜"°º×

- HIROYUKI. My family and I lived far from Hope’s Peak Academy; the only way to get there in time was by car or train. When I was 15 years old I managed to finish my high school studies with good grades, the result of my effort and passion for studying, for learning new things.

(In Hiroyuki's class the bell has just rung indicating the end of the class. All the students get up from their seats and leave the classroom)

- PROFESSOR. Hiroyuki, can I talk to you before you leave?

- HIROYUKI. Of course. (He approaches to his teacher)

- PROFESSOR. Congratulations, Hiroyuki. I have been reviewing your academic results and I have to say that they are excellent in comparison with the average, I congratulate you.

- HIROYUKI. (With great happiness) Thank you very much, teacher!

- PROFESSOR. Do you already know in which centre you will study your last courses before University? (Hiroyuki nods)

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- HIROYUKI. The moment my parents found out that Hope’s Peak Academy had opened a Reserve Course for untalented students, they started saving money to try and get me admitted there. Reserve Courses were about the same length as the Main Courses, but there were so many applications that every half year a new Reserve Course started so that more students could be admitted.

(In Hiroyuki's house, his father is showing him pictures of the Academy through a computer)

- TADASHI. "The Academy also has a large campus where students can be in contact with nature and rest after classes". Do you like it, son?

- HIROYUKI. I think it's very good.

- TADASHI. Well, with a little bit of luck you will surely enter the next course. All thanks to your effort and work, you see?

- HIROYUKI. (Smiles) Thank you very much.

- TADASHI. Hopefully you will be admitted and then you may become as successful as your brother.

- HIROYUKI. (Swallows) Y-yes...

- HIROYUKI. I felt at that moment how a dagger was being stuck in my heart... The dagger of talent. At that time I didn't get along particularly well with my brother Kichiro; talent made the difference between us like day and night. While he had practically everything figured out in life, I was the fighter, the one who had to work hard and pray for miracles in order to achieve a future that was at least stable.

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- HIROYUKI. My brother was two years older than me and was already in his last year of high school at that Academy. In order to graduate, he had to pass several practical exams before spring started. He had the title of Ultimate Scriptwriter.

(Inside a train to the Academy are Kichiro Kobayashi, Takumi Murakami (Ultimate Yo-Yo Player) and Hari Bachchan (Ultimate Voodoo Student), talking and laughing)

- SPEAKER. Attention, next station is the last one on this route: Hope’s Peak Academy. Be careful when you get off the train.

(The train stops and all the students get off)

- HIROYUKI. He didn't just go there to study. To train the most his skills and gain experience for the future he had been working in a news section of Hope’s Peak for a year and a half. Apparently, the Academy allowed a small management team and him to broadcast announcements, news and motivational phrases as the first thing in the morning before classes started for all those students who arrived early. This was supposed to "provide hope".

(Speakers placed between the walls and the ceiling are lit throughout the corridors and classrooms of the premises)

- KICHIRO (VOICE). (His voice can be heard through the speakers) Good morning, students of Hope’s Peak! It's twenty-three minutes past eight. From this humble section we thank you for being as punctual as always and for continuing listening to us day after day. Today we have a new phrase that will keep your spirits high: motivation does not come from inspiration, but from hard work and eventual failures. Have a great day at school.

- HIROYUKI. "Hard work"? "Failures"? It was quite strange to hear those words coming out of the mouths of people like him. While Kichiro went to the Academy during the week, I spent my mornings and afternoons studying like crazy in order to pass the entrance exam that the school required for all those students who did not possess a recognized talent.

(In Hiroyuki's room, while he is looking through the computer at examination papers from Hope’s Peak Academy, his mother, Natsuki Nishimura, appears)

- NATSUKI. Son, don't you think you should get some rest? I'm going to prepare the food.

- HIROYUKI. Thank you, Mom. I'll be right there. (He keeps looking at the computer and his mother leaves the room. Hiroyuki puts his hands to his head, nervously) Ahh... These maths exercises are impossible to solve. (He looks through the window) If they don't accept me it will be the end of myself... I can't allow that.

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(In class 76, where Kichiro, Takumi and Hari are located, there are only a few minutes left before school day finishes. Some students are exhausted and ignore the explanations of Professor Koichi Kizakura)

- KOICHI. (Writing on the board) ...and that is why all the rest of the sentence is the subject. Does anyone know what kind of subordinate sentence this is? (Seiko Kimura raises her hand) Yes, Seiko?

- SEIKO. Could it be a substantive subordinate?

- KOICHI. Is that a question or a statement?

- SEIKO. I-I'm not sure... (her classmates laugh and Seiko looks down regretfully)

- KOICHI. (Leaning on Seiko's table) Do you know what? In this life the most important thing is to have confidence and determination in what you do or say. If you think something is one way, just say so. It doesn't matter if you fail; making mistakes is the most common thing that can happen and it's the only way to learn from them. I will ask you again: is it a question or a statement?

- SEIKO. (Swallows) It is a substantive subordinate clause.

- KOICHI. It’s right! The subject could not be other than that. (He raises his right thumb looking cheerfully at Seiko and rings the bell) Tomorrow I want you all to bring the rest of that sentence completely analysed, okay? See you tomorrow.

(All the students are leaving the class and Ruruka Ando and Sonosuke Izayoi are approaching Seiko. The latter is holding two backpacks: hers and Ruruka's)

- RURUKA. You were fantastic, Seiko!

- SEIKO. (Blushing) Thank you, but it's nothing at all.

- RURUKA. Hey, Seiko, could I ask you another favor?

- SEIKO. (Nods) What is it about?

- RURUKA. Could you prepare some pills to help me sleep? I haven't slept for several days...

- SEIKO. Of course it is. Stop by the chemistry lab in an hour or so and I'll have it ready for you.

- RURUKA. Really? Thank you! I no longer knew how to hide my dark circles...

- SONOSUKE. You never have dark circles under your eyes, Ruruka. (Ruruka looks at him and smiles)

(The last three students leave the classroom and Koichi is left alone, picking up his material. Someone suddenly enters the classroom)

- ???. (Knocking on the door) Can I get in?

- KOICHI. Go ahead. (He sees the face of the person who wanted to enter. It's Celestia Ludenberg) Celestia! How are you? Come in, come in.

- CELESTY. Very well, thank you.

- KOICHI. Did you finally make a decision with what I told you?

- CELESTY. (She approaches a window and looks through it) I've been thinking about it... And I think I'm going to start my High School last courses in this Academy, he, he...

- KOICHI. That's great. You are going to be the Ultimate Gambler of this centre then.

- CELESTY. (Smiles) I'm sure the two courses ahead will be very interesting, I can really feel it...

- KOICHI. (Smiles too) Don't hesitate. As soon as I send your written application to the Academy I will call you and you can fill in the registration form for the new course, okay? (Celestia nods) Well, it was nice to meet you, Celestia. I look forward to teaching you next year if there is still a shortage of teachers.

˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜

(Kichiro, Takumi and Hari walk through one of the large gardens on the campus)

- KICHIRO. (Stretching out) I'm getting more and more tired from classes, isn't it the same for you?

- TAKUMI. (Playing with a yo-yo while walking) I think something similar, but I'm not really physically tired. What happens is that some classes are already starting to get boring at this point. The teachers' performance is generally correct, but I think there's a lack of originality in the subjects they deal with, that’s the truth...

- KICHIRO. (Laughs a little) Always so deep, Takumi.

- HARI. Well, the truth is that I don't feel very tired.

- TAKUMI. Of course, because you spend all day thinking about other things than the study, you lazy dude...

- HARI. Who are you calling "lazy"? (He hits himself in the face, but the damage is done to Takumi in his own skin. Hari doesn’t feel any harm thanks to his talent of Ultimate Human Voodoo)

- TAKUMI. (He touches his face, a little red from the blow) It was a joke, Hari...

- HARI. I know, don't worry. That's why I didn't hit myself hard, hahaha.

- KICHIRO. (Trying to change the subject of conversation) Do you want to go and eat something?

- HARI. Yes, because I'm starting to get hungry.

- KICHIRO. What about going to the Academy cafeteria?

- TAKUMI. As long as they don't go overboard using the spices again, I think it's a good option.

(All go to the above mentioned place)

˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜

- HIROYUKI. As I said before, I didn't get along with my brother because of all the differences we had. He, however, didn't give up in the struggle to try to reconcile with me, but I kept on ignoring him and treating him as if he wasn't really my brother.

(In the evening, at dinner time at Hiroyuki's house they are all eating together: he, his brother Kichiro and his parents, sitting at a table. There is both silence and tension in the atmosphere surrounding them)

- NATSUKI. (Trying to break the monotony) How did it go at school today, son?

- KICHIRO. Good. Nothing new at all.

- NATSUKI: Is there any interesting news you have read at the Academy?

- KICHIRO. (Holding back laughter) Apparently a couple of students from the Reserve Course took a fire extinguisher and played a joke on another one of their class.

- TADASHI. What savages. And were they warned or something?

- KICHIRO. They were threatened with expulsion from the centre if they made any more mischief like that. (Denies with his head) And I'm fine with that; they think they can do whatever they want at the Academy and that's not true...

- HIROYUKI. (Drops the spoon and stares at Kichiro) Because they are reserve students, right?

- KICHIRO ... Excuse me?

- HIROYUKI. I am sure that if it had been talented students who had done that, everyone would have been very happy with them. Everyone laughing with them because... uh, they excel at something.

- NATSUKI. Honey, I don't think your brother meant that.

- HIROYUKI. He never means that, he never insinuates anything, of course not.

- TADASHI. Hiroyuki, that's enough. If you don't know how to behave, don't sit at this table.

- HIROYUKI. (He gets up from his chair in a huff) Perfect, because I'm going to my room. (Leaves the dining room)

- NATSUKI. (Trying to hold back tears) We are always the same. I don't know what to do to be a normal family anymore.

- KICHIRO. (Touches his mother's back) Mom, don't worry. I'll go talk to Hiroyuki.

- TADASHI. Don't do it. Let him take his time to reflect.

- HIROYUKI. I was angry, but the worst thing is that I didn't really know why. I didn't know if I was jealous of my "perfect" brother or... if I hated myself for not having any talent... That night, before going to sleep, I started to do some exam models of the Hope’s Peak Academy to calm down after what had happened earlier during dinner, and between searches I was struck by a news item...

(Hiroyuki is looking at the computer in his room and reading the headline and content of a recent news item)

- HIROYUKI. "Missing Natsumi Kuzuryu, Reserve student of Hope’s Peak Academy and sister of Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu, the Ultimate Yakuza student" (He reads in his mind part of the body of the news and remains pensive) Another family in which there is one untalented brother and another one with everything... "The last time she was seen, today's classes were over. The family, belonging to the Kuzuryu clan, has avoided to make any statement to the police, although the missing student is being looked for after an anonymous tip"

(Hiroyuki turns off the computer and lies down on his bed tired and sleepy)

×º°"˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜"°º×

(The next morning, Hiroyuki, Kichiro and his mother are having breakfast in the kitchen)

- NATSUKI. Hiroyuki, don't you think you should say something to your brother?

- HIROYUKI. Hmmm... I don't remember.

- NATSUKI. (Frowning) Hiroyuki Kobayashi...

- HIROYUKI. (Looking away and speaking reluctantly) Sorry...

- NATSUKI. Could you repeat that? We didn't hear you correctly.

- KICHIRO. No need, thanks mum.

- HIROYUKI. Could we change the subject of the conversation, please? (Looking at Kichiro) Do you know anything about the student who disappeared without a trace from your Academy yesterday?

- KICHIRO. (Surprised) Excuse me? A student has disappeared?

- HIROYUKI. Yes. I read it on the news yesterday on the computer; I think she was called Natsumi Kuzuryu or something like that...

(Kichiro's mobile phone suddenly rings and he answers the call)

- KICHIRO. Hello?

- MAN (VOICE). (Via mobile) Kichiro, come immediately to Hope’s Peak and watch the news on the road, please. We need your talent to make an important announcement throughout the centre. These are orders from Director Jin Kirigiri's team.

- KICHIRO. (Concerned) O-okay, I'll be there in half an hour.

(Kichiro hangs up and gets up from the table to get dressed and leave for the Academy)

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(Once in the computer room, from where Kichiro's news are broadcasted before classes begin...)

- KICHIRO. (Altered) Dead?! How did that student die??

- MAN. The police claim that it was a pervert who forced the girl and ended up killing her in cold blood.

- KICHIRO. Oh my God, the family must be devastated by this incident.

- SUMIYE. The victim also has a brother, Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu, from class 77-B. Do you know him?

- KICHIRO. Practically nothing. I only know him by sight during class exchanges.

- MAN. I need you to prepare a proper speech by 8:30.

- KICHIRO. (Nods firmly) I will do my best.

˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜

(Around 8:32 all the speakers in the centre are switched on. Some classes are on campus doing gymnastics, other classes are doing exams and others are giving normal classes, but all of them stop their rhythm to listen to the message that Kichiro has to transmit)

- KICHIRO (VOICE). (Discouraged) Good morning, students of Hope’s Peak. It's 8:32 a.m. Today is a sad day in the history of this Academy... It is hard to say this, but the student who disappeared yesterday shortly after finishing the last classes of the day has been found dead early in the morning in the music room of this centre... Everything indicates that the culprit has been a pervert who infiltrated the premises just when all the teachers had left, but the police still have to be left to know more precisely the information about the case, so it would be advisable that nobody goes near the scene of the crime during this morning. From here we also want to give our most sincere support to the victim's relatives and acquaintances... At 10.30 a.m. classes will be cut to have a minute's silence for the deceased. Thank you much for listening to this short speech.

(Communication is cut off)

˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜

(10:32 a.m. Almost all the students, both from Reserve and Main Courses, are outside the facilities and resting on campus waiting for the minute of silence to begin. The teachers are gathered near the entrance talking to each other; among the recognisable faces they stand out: Chisa Yukizome, Koichi Kizakura and the physical education teacher Juzo Sakakura is in the surroundings of the Academy together with a big group of security guards)

- KICHIRO. (He looks for Fuyuhiko in the crowd and approaches him) Fuyuhiko, I am Kichiro Kobayashi, the one who gives the news section in the morning. (He places his right hand on Fuyuhiko's shoulder) Let me tell you that I am very sorry, really.

- FUYUHIKO. (Filled with rage and anger, he takes his hand off of his shoulder) Get away and get out of my sight.

(Peko Pekoyama stands between the two of them and drags Kichiro away from Fuyuhiko)

- PEKO. The young master is very much in grief at his loss. You should stay away for a while until the situation relaxes.

- KICHIRO. I-I understand, I'm sorry.

(Kichiro returns to his classmates and the campus microphones are turned on)

- JIN (VOICE). Good morning. I am Jin Kirigiri, headmaster of Hope’s Peak Academy. Thank you all for attending this meeting to observe a minute's silence for the late student Natsumi Kuzuryu, from the Reserve Course. As soon as a siren sounds the minute will begin, and will sound again when the time is up.

(The siren sounds and everyone is silent. Only the chirping of the sparrows and the wobbling of the trees by the wind can be heard. Some students named Sato, Mahiru and Hiyoko are a bit apart from the large mass of students concentrated in the centre)

- SATO. (Partly relieved and with a somewhat cheerful gesture) This story is over.

- MAHIRU. ... You're not serious, are you? Natsumi is still dead.

- HIYOKO. Screw it. At least that asshole won't be bothering you anymore.

- SATO. Exactly. You don't have to worry about anything anymore, Mahiru, we are here with you to support you.

(A teacher approaches)

- PROFESSOR. (In a low tone) Please be silent, if only for the poor girl who has died.

(All the girls become silent and Sato sees an imaginary Natsumi in the distance, beside a tree, with her bloody head, her bruised neck, her eyes wide open and her gaze fixed on her)

- NATSUMI (IMAGINATION). (With somewhat distorted sighs) I will never forgive you for what you have done to me. I will never...

(Sato swallows his saliva, sighs and closes his eyes until the minute of silence ends)

×º°"˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜"°º×

- HIROYUKI. Things only got worse. According to what my brother told at home, the next day many female students refused to go to class because of the murder that happened. On the social networks this incident was described as a sexist and terrible act, and Hope’s Peak had gone, for one day, from being recognized nationally for its achievements and goals to being recognized for such a tragic act. But that's not all, what happened the next day marked a turning point in the history of this Academy.

(Hiroyuki can be seen watching news on his computer in his room)

- HIROYUKI. ... It cannot be. Surely they have made a mistake... (He looks at another news item and gets surprised) S-so it is not a mistake... "A second student from the Reserve Course has been found dead in the facilities of Hope’s Peak". Kichiro!! Kichiro!

(Kichiro appears half-dressed)

- KICHIRO. What's going on?

- HIROYUKI. Have you seen the latest news?

- KICHIRO. (Concerned) I'm afraid so. It is terrible what has happened.

- HIROYUKI. Doesn't anyone care about the Reserve students or what? The information from the Academy says that there are always several teams looking after the safety of the students.

- KICHIRO. The police say that this is a pervert, and I personally think that it has to be someone who belongs to the Academy and who can go unnoticed, because if not I don't find another possible explanation.

- HIROYUKI. (He looks at his brother in frustration) It's funny that this doesn't happen with Main Course students. They are always protected to the last hair because they are indispensable to this disgusting society.

- KICHIRO. That is not so, do not talk about what you do not know.

- HIROYUKI. (He stands up from his seat) How many more talentless students have to die before you realize? You dudes are only interested in our money, nothing else! You don't give a shit about our life.

- KICHIRO. (Suddenly slaps his brother) Shut up! How dare you tell me I don't care about you? What do you know? You're my brother!

- HIROYUKI. (With a red face, he starts crying) Go away. Get out of my room!

(Hiroyuki pushes Kichiro out of his room and slams the door)

- KICHIRO. (Frustrated, leaning on the door) Hiroyuki, forgive me.

- HIROYUKI. Shut up and get lost! I don't want to know anything about you.

- KICHIRO. (Look at his watch) Damn it, I have to go or I'll be late. (He leaves the place quickly)

- HIROYUKI. I hate that the mind tends to remember bad moments more accurately than good ones. I still regret what happened that morning, but I felt very helpless and unprotected then. In fact, I even thought about not taking the Academy entrance exams after those two deaths. I was really afraid about what had happened.

˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜

(Kichiro appears in the editorial office of the main building of the Academy in search of his companions. The first person he finds is the former student Ultimate Journalist: Sumiye Miura, arguing with the head of the editorial team)

- SUMIYE. I repeat that this does not look like a stalker.

- MAN. It doesn't matter what it looks like. Both the police and the Academy have ruled that this murder has also been committed by a pervert and we cannot contradict anything about it.

- KICHIRO. What's going on? Are you talking about the new murdered girl?

- SUMIYE. Exactly, and I bet that these deaths are not the work of a stalker as the police say.

- MAN. And what will it matter what we think? Our job is to collect information and transmit it in the centre and surroundings, full stop.

- SUMIYE. But we can't ignore what is happening! I have been working in the world of journalism for years and I know the difference between the acts of a pervert and a serial killer.

- KICHIRO. (Ironic, though somewhat frightened) Neither are we looking for a Genocider Sho or someone like that...

- SUMIYE. Genocider Sho certainly wasn't. He only tortures men for what is known.

- MAN. I repeat that this is no longer within our competence. Get back to work immediately.

(A woman enters suddenly)

- WOMAN. Attention everyone! They just found the culprit of the murders!

(Everyone is surprised and begins to search the Internet or look through the windows to get information about it)

- KICHIRO. Really?! They caught the pervert?

- JOURNALIST. (Sitting in his work seat) So is he a stalker or not?

- WOMAN. The police say that it is.

- MAN. Kichiro, don't go to class today; I'll send your teacher a letter so that you can stay here today and work on your writing. We need you more than ever. (Kichiro nods and the man looks at Sumiye) And you, I want you to go where the news are and get even the slightest bit of unimportant information about this case.

- SUMIYE. Understood!

×º°"˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜"°º×

(The news of the main Japanese channels do not talk about anything else but the Academy)

- PRESENTER 1. And in the breaking news we know that the alleged murderer of two young students from the prestigious Hope’s Peak Academy has just been arrested.

˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜

- PRESENTER 2. Itaro Janure is the name of the suspect accused of cold-bloodedly murdering two students at Hope’s Peak Academy.

˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜

- PRESENTER 3. A few minutes ago the police made public the identity of the alleged murderer of the teenage girls of Hope’s Peak, mostly known on social networks as the "Skull of Shadows". His name is Itaro Janure and he worked as one of the caretakers at the centre.

˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜

- REPORTER 1. (At the scene of the arrest, crowded into the crowd) Well, as you said, I am at the entrance to the Hope’s Peak Academy so that you can see live how the current ex-janitor of the centre, accused of killing two female students.

(You can see the former caretaker shouting that he has done nothing, that he didn't even know the victims)

×º°"˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜"°º×

(In the office of director Jin Kirigiri, shortly after watching those news...)

- KOICHI. (Leaning on the director's desk) So they've arrested the pervert, huh?

- JIN. (Meditating with eyes closed) It seems so.

- KOICHI. Can I ask you something? (Jin nods) Do you really think that poor man is guilty?

- JIN. (Sighs and turns his seat to look out the window) Not really. Of course I don't think it was even a pervert's fault. In my opinion, it looks more like a revenge.

- KOICHI. And you don't feel remorse that a possible innocent person is going to jail?

- JIN. Of course I feel it, like the most. But I have to ensure the safety of this Academy, and for that the atmosphere has to be calm. If people believe that the culprit is already behind bars, no one will question our credibility.

- KOICHI. (Pull out an alcoholic drink) As you wish; here you are the boss, mate. (Stops drinking and looks at the time on his wristwatch) Uh, I have class in ten minutes. I've got to go. (He gets up from the table and heads for the exit)

- JIN. Kizakura...

- KOICHI. Yes?

- JIN. Thank you for your support. I promised you that you would not have to teach this year, but things have not gone as I thought. Anyway, I am already receiving applications from qualified teachers.

- KOICHI. (Joking) I'll ignore your insinuation that I'm not qualified for the job. Well, see you, friend. (Jin smiles and Koichi leaves the room)

- JIN. (Cheerful and somewhat relieved) Never change, Kizakura.

×º°"˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜"°º×

- HIROYUKI. Murder, jealousy, lies, hatred, mistrust... That is what the Academy really offered in those days to attract more students. (Sighs) And the worst thing of all is that it managed to attract them. This was the beginning of the end of a world where there were many dangerous triggers, but people lived in peace because they were hidden, silenced. I hope I haven't talked too much about it.

- ???. Not at all, we still have plenty of time. I want you to tell me more stories like that, I need to live in my mind everything that happened to you during that year and a half.

×º°"˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜˜"°º×

(Footsteps can be heard in a dark street. This is Nagito Komaeda, who looks on both sides of the street in search of someone, until he finally finds him)

- NAGITO. (Smiling) Hey, buddy, I was looking for you.

- TED. (Spits out the gum he was chewing) Dude? Who are you, scum?

- NAGITO. You just described me perfectly, hahaha. I'm someone unimportant here. And you have to be the Ultimate Explosives Expert, don't you?

- TED. (Nods) That's right. Why are you here?

- NAGITO. (His face darkens, he holds Ted Chikatilo's shoulders in his hands and whispers in his ear) I need to prepare a pump.

- TED. (Puts Nagito in front of the wall and puts a knife under his neck) What are you playing at, you stupid little tadpole?

- NAGITO. (Smiles again) Nothing, I just want a little help from you to do a good thing.

(Luckily, a stray cat intervenes in the situation and snatches the knife that Ted was holding. He is amazed)

- TED. W-what the hell?

- NAGITO. (His sight is lost in his delirium) So, will you help me?

It will continue... next 17th January...

#danganronpa #danganronpa 3 #script #fanfic #mystery #thriller #academy #talent #students #hope #despair #writing #writers #writerscommunity

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hopeymchope · 5 years

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I figure if Enoshima competed in Deus' Game, she'd wield the "Despair Diary": a diary that lets her know about any future that involves intense despair. What diary could you personally see Kirigiri or Naegi owning? (or any other characters that might be eligible to become god)

Ohgod Iiiii couldwriteaboutthisALLDAY

I figure that it’s unlikely that most DR characters would be eligible to enter Deus’ little godship murder-game simply because he wanted his choices to be “psychologically interesting” and honestly, I worry that some DR characters (such as Naegi and Kirigiri) are simply too mentally stable to merit inclusion.

Then again, Kamado made the cut in spite of being a totally normal, kind person…

ANYWAY. With all of that said, I’m not going to limit myself just to crazy people or something, so let’s get wild and throw together a buncha DR characters with some Future Diaries.

Kyoko Kirigiri - If she’s getting one, it’s obvious that she needs to get the thing that Akise lied about having: a Detective Diary that lets her see the details of the mysteries around her! :) I wonder if she’d even find such a thing helpful, though; she might just consider it a nuisance.

Hifumi Yamada - The Doujinshi Diary lets Hifumi read scans of his own doujins before he’s written or drawn them. Although this is great for the brainstorming process, it’s also kind of demotivating for him to see the work already completed without him putting in the effort…

Kiyotaka Ishimaru - Hall Monitor Diary, allowing him advance notice of when and where students will publicly flouting campus rules. With this diary, no one will ever be able to run in the halls or smoke weed behind the school again. Nothing that is inappropriate for a school environment will ever escape his notice again.

Mukuro Ikusaba - Loyal Sister Diary. It basically predicts how/when Junko will abuse her sister and also foretells what heinous acts Junko will have Mukuro aid in/perform on her behalf. Depressing!

Nagito Komaeda - The Hopeful Diary gives him all the information on what will cause his faith in hope to soar or what despairs that hope may face. It’s surprisingly useful and one of the more thorough diaries on the list… so of course he’s going to use it to mostly wreak havoc with the others. He’s just 100% That Bitch.

Kazuichi Souda - Give him his own version of Yuno’s or Mao’s diaries, only it’s the “Lovely Miss Sonia Diary.” Regular updates on the details of what Sonia is up to, making for easy stalking… but honestly, I hope he instead sees this “gift” as a kind of wake-up call. Because ooooof.

Teruteru Hanamura - What’s going to turn on — sorry, “inflame Teruteru’s passions” today? Only his Passionate Diary knows! ……………… okay, everybody else within earshot of him also knows because he never keeps these thoughts to himself.

Seiko Kimura - The Pharmacist’s Diary is a life-saving tool of dreams that lets Seiko determine the exact formula for the exact medication that the specific person she’s going to run into truly needs. Super Seiko!

Juzo Sakakura - The Beatdown Diary tells him who’s he’s going to physically abuse next and also provides the best attacks to use. :P

Kokichi Ouma - Why think up your lies on the fly? The Liar’s Diary just gives Kokichi the lies he’s going to tell in the near future before he even needs them! It’s full of wall-to-wall bullshit that is basically useless to anyone who isn’t him, because, y’know, it’s all lies. Even so, he is clever enough to read those lies and know the future truths behind them.

Miu Iruma - Miu’s constant stream of strange ideas will be filtered to her in advance via the Invention Conception Diary. However, since she’s often lost in her own little world and proves frequently unable to deal with the anxieties that come with the DRV3 experience, there’s little hope that this diary will even be helpful in protecting her from outside threats (either Danganronpa-related or Diary Game-related).

Gonta Gokuhara - Bug Diary. (Not these though.) It tells him what bugs he’ll see and where he’ll see them. And it’s cute. Naturally.

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pythonissam-despair · 4 years

Photo

“ If everything is a play, no unhappy things will exist. It may be a tragedy, but it'll all be part of the script. ”

This is it. You’ve worked your entire life to get where you are. Through all the blood, sweat, and tears - you stand proudly at the gates of the esteemed Hope’s Peak Academy. Accepted into their ranks, title and all, you’ve been given the opportunity of a lifetime… but is this all that you really want? Are you satisfied only getting this far? Though, of course, it’s nothing to snuff at. But, evidently… you did want more. People always do.

You see, you’re not simply a run-of-the-mill Ultimate; if there is such a thing. One day, whether you were on campus or elsewhere, a mysterious creature came to you. Toting a snow-white coat, red eyes, floppy ears, and strange markings… you didn’t know whether to be awed or terrified.

The creature who introduced itself as Chuubey had one, simple, question for you:

“ What would you give to have your most important wish come true? ”

_________________________

Pythonissam Despair is a 16+ rp group containing a Puella Magi Madoka Magica-inspired magic system mixed with a Danganronpa-styled Killing Game format. The group, with a roster of 18, will be hosted almost exclusively on Discord with game posts, updates, and summaries appearing on the game blog! Intended to run on a flexible 3 ½ week schedule, there will also be mechanics of role-playing games akin to Pokemon Mystery Dungeon as well as general tabletop rpgs.

We will also be taking applications for Mini and Art Mods, alongside the Player Roster!

Enter the Witch’s Den to learn more...

❧ ABOUT

❧ RULES

❧ HOW TO PLAY

❧ FAQ

❧ ‘CONTRACT’

❧ MODS

❧ HOPEFULS DISCORD

#dr oc rp #fangan ronpa #discord rp #pmmm rp #oc rp group #app group

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hcpefulmarshmallow · 5 years

Text

I wanted to take some time out of our irregularly scheduled content to talk about something near and dear to my heart: Komaeda’s voice. Specifically, two of his character songs which I have been more eager to dissect than you know.

A couple of points before we begin:

These songs were not written by the same people who designed, scripted or even localised Komaeda, but rather his Japanese VA, Megumi Ogata. It has, however, been sanctioned as canon material, even released under the Danganronpa brand. Therefore, I will treat it with the same consideration that I do explicitly canon material.

The songs are, of course, in Japanese. I do not speak this language, so I’ll be going off the translations available on the DR wiki. If you do speak Japanese and you realise I’ve missed or misinterpreted something due to the language barrier, please let me know. Otherwise, as an English speaker, I’ll do my best with what I have.

My goal here is to reconcile his musical characterisation with his canon characterisation, as well as extrapolate whatever new things we can learn from these songs about our beloved boy. And if you’re reading this crazy long post and thinking, “wow, she’s reading way too into this,” ... yeah. That’s sort of the fun of it. My goal isn’t to challenge anybody, or shame anyone’s headcanons. This is just a weird niche hobby of mine.

Apologies for the lack of a cut. This much text, I felt, might be a little hard on some peoples’ eyes on my theme. It is tagged though.

Okay, onto the good stuff.

Zettai Kibou Birthday is, according to Megumi, a song about how Nagito feels on the “outside”. It contains a literal narrative and a metanarrative which is a word I like to use to sound smart, but in this case, just refers to an overarching interpretation that isn’t necessarily verbatim, but rather is represented, or is provided a structure, or is given meaning by the actual text.

In this case, the literal narrative is this: Nagito meets somebody on campus he was “born to meet”, and they have some sort of steamy rendezvous, and in amongst all the smooshing, there are several references to absolute hope. However, the song isn’t supposed to be a literal recount of events, but rather an expression of Nagito’s feelings; about hope, love, intimacy and connection. This is the metanarrative. The plot, if you will, is simply a presentation of that message.

While the song functions on a conceptual level and not a physical one, it interests me that sex is the medium through which he allegorises hope, intimacy and interpersonal connection. I think it’s also interesting that hope and intimacy are grouped together, as if to find one is to find the other. To quote Nagito himself, “Now that I’m on the verge of death, I’ve finally realised what I wanted all along: somebody’s love.”

Again, the song isn’t literal. It captures a feeling, likening that exhilaration and comfort of making a deep and impossible connection to the feeling of finding Ultimate Hope. And for someone who has been so lonely for so long, it makes sense he would find that hope in another person. Someone who isn’t afraid to be close to him in every possible sense of the word.

Now let me get it out there - I don’t expect a song like this to have explicit depictions of sex or anything. There is a fine line to walk when using the topic in media lest you be branded with a hard “lewd” rating, but there’s still no shortage of ways to use it without being explicit. Take, for instance, Carla Gugino & Oscar Isaac’s cover of Love Is The Drug. (Why the cover and not the original? Because I actually liked Sucker Punch, fight me.)

Late that night I park my car / Stake my place in the singles' bar / Face to face, toe to toe / Heart to heart as we hit the floor Lumber up, limbo down / The locked embrace, the stumble round / I say go, (and I say yes) / Dim the lights, you can guess the rest

The words describe literally what is going on, while still invoking the right mood and the emotions the characters in the song were feeling. It’s very well-balanced lyrically, especially with what Oscar and Carla’s performance brings to it. Contrast, if you will, with:

So lock up, mix up, cut up… key up, sex up, wrap up / I'll let you mess me up and indulge That's it, break up, use up, end up… hook up—because we're connected / The omen of hope after the worst disaster

If you look close, you can definitely see what’s happening in the actual narrative of the song. However, the details are more or less obfuscated under this layer of words that don’t really mean anything on their own. It’s more like a flurry of different sensations rather than one, tangible experience. These feelings he’s having during these experience are, in the next breath, directly correlated with connection, and then hope.

Nagito is a guy who works on the conceptual and the philosophical more than the literal. Even in canon, he’s heavily into symbolism. He likes to carry around Go stones because of what the colours represent to him. So this use of intimacy and word play to describe a significant bond between two people is remarkably fitting. What’s literally happening isn’t half as important as what is going on beneath the surface, and the way it makes him feel.

Like I said, it’s interesting that, of all the ways he could express hope and connection, this is the one he went with. I do believe that this also expresses an underlying attitude towards intimacy; that it’s something he only wishes to share with someone truly special. In many fan circles he is portrayed as a highly sexualised character, even though in the canon media, he is quite chaste, never taking any sexual interest in a situation that isn’t sexual; for instance, any of the many times Mikan falls over herself and winds up in a suggestive pose. (And nor should he, let me stress.)

And I can already foresee the counterargument that Nagito is gay, so of course he won’t enjoy seeing a girl’s underwear; and to that, I have two points. One is that, personally, I disagree. This doesn’t have to matter, but I headcanon him as bi or pan, possibly even demi. Either way, I don’t believe gender plays a major role in who he is attracted to. There’s no canon evidence to say who is “right” here (as right as anyone can be regarding fiction), but I don’t judge. If that’s your interpretation, you do you. The second is that, even towards the characters he is shown to be attracted to (namely, Hajime) his expressions of interest tend to be pure, for lack of a better word. Yes, there’s the joke about stripping naked on the beach, but I’m pretty sure that’s just a joke. He does tend to play a lot, after all.

And let me be clear -- there is nothing wrong with being a sexual person, or expressing one’s desire’s healthily. And certainly, Nagito has that side to him. He absolutely has sexual interest, urges and whatnot. It’s just not a highly key component to his characterisation. The point I want to make is: this song was a really good method to explore his feelings towards intimacy in a natural way, as well as provide more depth and context to attitudes he expressed in canon but couldn’t be explored to their fullest because, you know, it’s a story about murder, not Nagito’s feelings. The way he groups hope, love and sex as this euphoric thing, a singular whirlwind of emotions rather than separate happenings, is telling toward this desire he has for these things, the way he sees them as interconnected, and, with the way the song is so upbeat and uplifting, his hope that he can achieve it.

Nagito is someone who strongly believes in the idea that people are born a certain way, either hopeful or hopeless, talented or untalented. In short, destiny. And in this song, he speaks directly to the person he believes he’s destined for.

In the school campus at midnight, my heart throbs as I continue waiting "I was born for the sake of meeting you" I’II think at the moment

This song puts a tangible goal on this “Absolute Hope”, rather than the vague “overcoming Despair” thing he talks about all the time. Nagito really, truly wants to believe - and seems to believe - that his soulmate is out there, and it isn’t too late to make a deep and meaningful connection with somebody; someone who will be just as eager to reciprocate. Someone he can be unafraid with, captivated with, and with whom, he can experience that Ultimate Hope. It’s even in the title - the moment he meets such a person, is the moment true Hope itself is born. Something far stronger than what already exists in the world.

Zansakura, the companion piece to ZKB, is worlds apart in many ways.

It is, according to Megumi, how Nagito feels on the “inside”, the other side of the proverbial coin to ZKB being how he feels on the “outside”. Likely, this means that part deep within him he doesn’t let others see. This is present in the overall tone alone. While ZKB embodied in it that uplifting way which Nagito talks about Ultimate Hope, Zansakura is much more somber. ZKB echoes the Nagito we see through Hajime’s eyes; while Zansakura is more congruent with those fleeting moments we experience the game from his perspective, wherein he is even more down on himself. As we play through the Final Dead Room with him, we see that the excessive way which he berates himself out loud is nothing compared to the second-guessing and self-debasement that goes through his mind. It truly is a dark and melancholy place, which shows through in the slow, sad melody of Zansakura.

This one takes the imagery to a whole other level, relying primarily on the cultural and symbolic relevancy of cherry blossoms. I’ve written about all this before, so for the sake of those who have been around this blog a while, I’ll try to summarise as best as I can.

In Japan, Cherry Blossoms are symbolic of the ephemeral nature of life -- in other words, the fleetingness and impermanence of it all. In no small degree, the connection between the symbolism of Cherry Blossoms and life and death comes from the influence of Buddhist culture, and is embodied specifically in the concept of mono no aware. This can be translated a number of ways that all pretty much come back to the same idea of existing for only a short period of time. It’s used to describe the awareness of impermanence, the transience of things, and a sadness or wistfulness as their passing; and a deeper sadness about this being the reality of things. I know this seems boring and irrelevant, but please keep especially this last bit in mind, as it’s very important to the meaning behind this song.

The most popular variety of Cherry Blossom in Japan are the Somei Yoshino, which are almost pure white and tinged with pale pink near the stem. Although this song was written after the fact, I have to wonder if this was always intended to be part of the character’s aesthetic, because these colours are reflected in Nagito’s character design - specifically, his hair. Anyway, the Somei Yoshino typically bloom and fall within a week. Winter Sakura or Fuyuzakura begin blooming in autumn and continue sporadically throughout winter alone.

Though Cherry Blossoms are an important, and even iconic image for the country, most people are surprised to learn they don’t last for very long. For Nagito to compare himself to these flowers is to admit that he, too, is here to bloom for a short period of time. It’s also worth noting that Cherry Blossoms are considered their most beautiful, not as they bloom, but rather as they wither and fall. And all of a sudden, I’m reminded of all the times Nagito talks about attaining hope through despair, and how his life has only found meaning as he inches closer to death.

Yeah, I don’t like remembering this detail because it’s profoundly sad, but our marshmallow boy doesn’t exactly have long to live. He was given a year, at most, before starting at Hope’s Peak - and, at the end of the series, is presumably in his early-to-mid 20s. He’s beaten his own life expectancy, but not his illnesses.

The song starts in the most typical Nagito way I can think of:

“We can see again tomorrow", I laughed, short-lived cherry blossoms within my heart

As he always does, he laughs and is cheerful with others, even though deep down, he’s tremendously sad.

The song then takes us through this most beautiful and haunting imagery, of cherry blossoms in bloom after surviving a storm*, preparing to wither and fall; until at last they do, and as the flowers are carried away by the wind and water, a lonely, broken branch is left behind, wanting to bloom again.

(*The actual word used is ‘struggle’, however further down, the survival of a storm is mentioned, along with the flowers (aka hope) which will bloom after. The whole thing is a metaphor for his hope/luck cycle, is what I’m saying.)

He talks about this imagery as someone observing it (The storm of flowers, the sudden wind / I halt and open my eyes); again, with this idea of a metanarrative lurking beneath a literal one. He does, however, break the narrative to address (presumably) that same elusive “you” from Zettai Kibou Birthday:

To live an ordinary life, and die together with you / Oh, if that could come true

This seems so disconnected from the Nagito we know, who seems to have no interest in ‘ordinary’ things, and chases only hope. But as we’ve established, the place he most desires to seek hope is in another person. As he spends more time with Hajime during Island Mode, we know already that he admits to seeing hope in himself, and that he doesn’t necessarily take it as good news. But this line, right here, I feel embodies what this song is about, and what Nagito is all about.

Nagito is a very lonely person, desperate by his own admission for love and understanding. He knows he has little time left, and his prospects are...dim. Everyone he’s ever loved has either died or suffered at the hands of his luck, a force far beyond his control. And those who remain - namely, his classmates - either don’t like or don’t understand him. In ZKB - again, how Nagito feels on the “outside” - he expresses a hopefulness that there’s still someone he can love, who can love him, who he can experience that Absolute Hope with. But Zansakura has far more pessimistic expectations.

By breaking the metaphor to be straightforward and honest for a line, we get Nagito’s most core desire: to live a life with somebody; to love and be loved. Which, yeah, he’s already admitted to. For someone who’s been through so much, that probably seems like the most unattainable thing. Every time he gets comfortable, something invariably rips all that out from under him. And of that, he is painfully aware. Oh, if only that could come true - in other words, he knows it won’t.

Once again, do recall the concept of mono no aware. It’s not just an awareness of transience and impermanence, but also an intense, wistful sadness in the face of it. He knows he’s dying, and he knows he’s dying alone. But he’s not frustrated or angry, or even defiant. He’s not trying to fight it. As much as Nagito wants to hope for the best, deep down, he just can’t. He knows this is the reality, and he doesn’t have it in him to fight back. He’s just completely, deeply, helplessly sad.

In this song, Nagito’s life is represented as the petals that bloom for a short time, then fall; while he is the broken branch left behind; forgotten, wounded and unappealing; yearning for more time. Deep down, this is how he feels about himself. He is boring and unextraordinary, and yet (perhaps selfishly) he wishes that brief taste he has of being alive would last if only a little longer. He’s not quite ready to die yet, not until “the day this ordinary life is devoted”.

#meta;#( holy damn this went on #but i have been meaning to do this forever )#zansakura #zettai kibou birthday #long post/#( 2775 WORDS YO )

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blackjacketmuses · 6 years

Text

@multiimuse

Fifty-three seasons is a very long time for any show to run. But a show like this is...special. She isn’t certain how the show got started -- those files are still a little too heavily encrypted for her -- but she can infer quite a bit. The technology involved, the....data that rests inside her, the fragments of someone else, and the information gathered from the games, the videos and recordings that the games were made from-- it’s a little easy to guess. But whoever started it doesn’t really matter, honestly. What matters is that they did, this studio, Team Danganronpa. Making the games -- harmless enough, three games and two anime series and a bunch of light novels and manga. It made the Tragedy, the war, it made it all seem fictional. Unreal. Distanced it from the minds of the affected and their children as the years passed and put it further way in time. The games made it seem...like a game. Like it had never happened.

Of course it had, though, and of course Makoto Naegi still ran the new Hope’s Peak quietly, off out of any city, on a nice and quiet campus for both Ultimates and normal people, mixed together to avoid any sort of pain and hurt like the last time. He did that with his wife and their friends, and the former Remnants of Despair finally -- with their deeds all but forgotten -- were able to return to their true hope, living in relative peace with each other, helping Headmaster Naegi, and never knowing that the sick game they’d all barely survived had been turned into entertainment.

Fictional, of course! No one would ever condone making the real death of a dozen high schoolers a TV show -- it was all virtual reality, a program based on the very thing used to cure and save the Remnants all those years ago. But the pain was still real, the trauma was still real, and it wasn’t like Team DR cared about anything but ratings, anything but the eternal cycle of seasons, the battle of hope and despair repeated over and over with fifteen new kids every time. Hundreds watched it, huddled over their laptops and tablets and cellphones, eyes glued to the website’s stream. None of them cared, either. It wasn’t real to them.

But...it was real to her. It was all she ever knew. An Artificial Intelligence, created by Team DR from data and fragments salvaged from the program -- they weren’t Ultimates, after all, couldn’t make one themselves -- and given the resemblance of a popular character from the games. (Irony -- the data they used contained the shards of another AI with the same face, and that made all the difference.) They called her M1-R41, made her a camera, an audience proxy, a new way to watch the show: from the point of view of a contestant. Called her Ultimate Robot so she’d fit in, made up a backstory, and inserted her into each season starting from season thirty-two. She’d participate, she’d befriend these people, who as far as she knew were strangers and then friends, play in this game that for her was her only reality, get to the end, survive, and then -- total reset. Start from scratch next season.

By season fifty-two...the data within her, the little AI that had built Mirai...it had woken. Not entirely, she didn’t have Observer’s memories, but she had enough. And she had her own memories, the resets having finally failed...and she fought back. She was destroyed, of course, protecting the few survivors of that season, and they decommissioned her for her new little brother K1-B0 (put in an audience input control chat to keep this from happening again), but...she lived on.

She lived on, and she wouldn’t let this continue anymore. She had to wait until season fifty-three started, needing time to gather herself and get strong enough to break the studio’s firewalls, find a way to access the office computer of a certain headmaster, and find a way to get him a message: Someone stole the Neo World Program technology years ago, and has been using it to run a virtual reality game show based on Junko’s games. They don’t care about the hurt they’re causing to the kids who sign up thinking it’s just fictional, and it needs to stop. You’re the only people that can. Will you help me, Makoto Naegi? She added a link to the website, to the stream, and added a file full of every document she’d been able to pull, all the NDAs and application forms and every bit of proof they’d need to shut them down.

All she had to do, all she could do now, was wait and have hope. They had what they needed to take the studio down -- all that remained was to get the fourteen teenagers currently playing the game out of their nightmare. It was impossible to do it manually -- there was no emergency shut down. It had to be played to the end. But...this time it would be okay. This time they’d have people there to help and there to protect them. She was making sure of it.

And...if she was able to see them again? The people that the data inside her told her were...important, so very important? That would make her happy.

Dying was...a lot worse than the game made it out to be, Rantaro Amami had decided. Sure, it had been pretty quick compared to others deaths he’d seen! He didn’t even honestly realize what had happened until he woke up in the pod and went ‘hey wait, what?’. Man, though, first down...that was embarrassing. After being a finalist in season 52...the forum is probably going apeshit. He’s still not even sure who did it! That’s probably the worst bit, that he has no idea who did it.

...okay, who’s he kidding, he knows exactly what happened, and he wants to throw up. He wants to go curl up in a corner and be sick and maybe just shut the world off until it stops being literally the worst. He can’t pretend he’d enjoyed himself, this time or last time, no matter how much he wants to laugh it off and act like it was just a game, just a TV show. He had been...god, he’d been naive. Even for someone like him, part of the section of the DR fandom that had hated the direction the show had taken after they started hiring DR-otaku as the writing staff...he’d been naive. Just wanted to play in one season before there stopped being anything salvageable in the mess, he’d thought. It wouldn’t be so bad, he’d thought. Shirogane wasn’t the worst mastermind out there, he’d thought.

He was so, so wrong. After the absolute gut-wrenching horror of season fifty-two, he...if he’d had any sense, he’d have turned and run screaming. Watching people die, watching them be executed, the stomach churning horror and constant state of fear, the suspicion and wariness, the grief and trauma of the trials...it had been fun as a game, he’d loved watching the characters fight their way through the worst and come out stronger, the good guys win, always loved the story and the courage of the characters who got through it -- but when it’s you, when you think it’s real? It’s a living nightmare. And he’d agreed to do it again. For Koharu’s sake, really, because she’d have shattered, and it was her or him. So he’d done it again.

And he hurt. It hurt. It was horrible, traumatizing, and he’d done it again, and now here he was unable to protect anyone, because he was an idiot and gotten himself killed. Because Shirogane was a cheating bitch and had killed him to frame one of the nicest girls he’d ever met (well, in character, anyway, she was a little pricklier in person once she’d stopped sobbing), killed her because she was too good of a person, too good of a protagonist.

This was the worst, and all he can do is sit next to Kaede and hug her, watching on the big screen in the contestant lounge as that poor kid, that poor traumatized detective, tries to do what neither of them could. He wishes this could end, but he’s just one kid...even with a lawyer sister, what can he do? What can anyone do?

#multiimuse #;muse: rantaro #;npc: mirai #;verse: fiction comes alive we start to play (dr)

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captor-barioth · 6 years

Text

Danganronpa Talentswap Discord Server Advertisement! **You must be 18+!** Completely rebooted as of 3/12, updated as of 23/07/2018. ALWAYS open to new applications!

Taking place at Hope’s Peak, feel free to live your life to the fullest extent that you can! These wistful days of teenage youth are fast fleeting and meant to be lived to the extremes! Attend class, make friends, laugh, cry, do whatever you can before it’s too late! This is Hope’s Peak Academy, only the most gifted of students may attend. Be sure that you are aware, you’re the best of the best. Take pride in your title, exude the confidence only a SHSL Student may possess, and take control of your future while you still have a chance. Please do your best to stay on campus, as we believe we have provided all that you need to live comfortably.

1. This is non-despair, but despair-bound characters may still despair. 2. You may have up to 2 muses. 3. Canontalents only. 4. Stick to a more Japanese manner of reference (honorifics, SHSL, and such. We have guides if you don’t know!) 5. Feel free to RP in rooms with other interactions. 6. Meet partner’s expectations in replies. 7. Don’t harass people for LGBT headcanons. 8. No ship hate or adult/minor shipping. 9. NSFW is up in the air at this time 10. Do not apply for the sole reason of smut-fishing!

More rules in their respective channels, but this is the basic stuff.

Below are the taken characters. Any canon character is allowed to join! Yes- this includes characters from DR0, DR3, people like Sato and Natsumi, and things like that. (You CAN’T apply for the adults or the warriors of hope in DR: AE.)

Taken characters

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Class 78-A (Danganronpa 1):

Coach Naegi Photographer Celes Mechanic Asahina Detective Maizono Boxer Kirigiri Gamer Ikusaba Morals Comittee Oowada Heiress Fukawa / Doujinka Syo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Class 78-B (Danganronpa V3):

Fashionista Ouma Animator Momota Gambler Angie Pharmacologist Kirumi Analyst Saihara Artist Kiibo Confectioner Yumeno

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Class 77-A (Danganronpa 0)

None for now, would you look at that

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Class 77-B (Danganronpa 2, as well as canonical Hajime’s classmates in the reserve course)

Good Luck Tanaka Yakuza Tsumiki Swordswoman (coverup for assasin) Saionji Idol Koizumi Model Sonia Magician Komaeda Fortune Teller Hanamura Maid Pekoyama Prince Hinata Therapist Nanami

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Class 76-A (Seiko, Ruruka, Sonosuke)

None!

~~~~~~~~~~~

Class 76-B (Other older students of no known class)

None

~~~~~~~~~

Staff (Characters known to be part of the staff, as in Jin Kirigiri, class 74 or anyone older)

Soldier Sakakura

~~~~~~~~~ Reserve course (Any of the non-staff characters can be this. Depending on which one was their original class, they’ll be in the same class or not, without a specified class name)

Fuyuhiko Kuzuryuu

——————————————————————————————-

Application form:

[Mun Info]

Name: Pronouns: Experience: Timezones: Are you alright with RPing smut? (You don’t have to say yes!): Triggers?:

–

[Character Info]

Name: Gender (Please add respective pronouns): Class: Talent: Height: Weight: Likes: Dislikes: Short Biography (Feel free to write as long as you like, but a simple paragraph or a couple of sentences outlining how they got their talent/how they are divergent from canon would work well too):

RP Sample (Does NOT have to be for your muse in TS, but still a sample of you RPing your muse in some way shape or form. This part will be focused on the most in evaluation and decision): ——————————————————————————————-

We work in first come first serve basis, so whoever sends the actual application first will have priority. Don’t try to ask for a character to just reserve them without sending an application! If interested, please, message me at my discord: TheGoldenHeir#8082 And thanks for reading, if you have read so far! If you aren’t interested, a reblog would be appreciated if you know people who may be.

#danganronpa rp #discord rp #dr rp #dr roleplay

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pyropsychiccollector · 6 years

Text

Danganronpa: Another IF (Chapter 5, Part 4, Finale Part 2)

“Thunderous applause for working out something so obvious a monkey could do it… Oh, wait. That gets no applause at all.” Junko snarked.

“H-Hold on…” Sayaka stuttered. “You called Mukuro… your older sister…”

Junko grinned madly.

“That’s exactly right! You recalled something that was said five seconds ago, good for you! Indeed… Mukuro is my hopeless older twin sister…”

“Twin sister…?” Celes echoed.

“I am me. And Mukuro is Mukuro.” Junko proclaimed. “No matter how much makeup she wears, Mukuro can never become the Ultimate Fashionista. As long as the barrier exists between mind and the body, two beings can never become one… even if they are twins. It almost feels cliché, so I’m embarrassed to admit it… But it’s the truth. Mukuro Ikusaba—the archetypal ‘athletic older sister’—and me—the archetypal ‘adorable genius little sister.’ The Ultimate Despair crew called us the ‘Despair Sisters’!”

She was cackling madly toward the end, signaling a change in Junko.

“Did you just suddenly… change your personality?” Leon asked warily.

“I already told ya! I’m fickle beyond hope—I even get tired of my own personality!”

Fujisaki stared nervously at the floor.

“If you’re twin sisters… Why are your last names different?”

“That question again…” Junko rolled her eyes. “I get it all the damn time… I don’t care if it’s your first offense—I’ve had to answer that same question to the point of despair! Anyway! It’s cliché as fuck, so come up with something yourself and we’ll roll with that!”

Makoto looked over at Mukuro in concern. Something occurred to him just now.

“So wait… You put your sister out in the open with the rest of us, in harm’s way? Why…?” He didn’t get to finish as Junko cleared her throat and put on some glasses, switching personalities again.

“Right. Allow me to explain. For this project, I required someone to pull the strings behind the scenes in the academic coliseum. Someone to operate Monokuma and keep watch over all of you—in a word, a ‘Mastermind’… However, according to my calculations, Mukuro Ikusaba was incapable of serving that role. She was, after all, a pitiful sister. The kind of incomparably pitiful sister who would go off on her own and enlist in a mercenary group. For that reason, I took the behind-the-scenes role and elected to leave her out in the open as a student. Keeping her with me behind the curtain was an option, but she wouldn’t have been of any help there… Besides, like I said, fifteen participants is a nice, round number. But then, there was the dilemma of Mukuro Ikusaba’s title, ‘Ultimate Soldier’. It is, in a word, ‘3H’. Hopelessly foul, hopelessly disgusting, and hopelessly repulsive… To know that she was far removed from the needs of the society required no calculation on my part. On the other hand, it would have been a shame to let the beauty of my Fashionista title go to waste.”

Kirigiri narrowed her eyes.

“So that’s… why you switched places?”

Junko went on.

“However, she resembled me even less than I had calculated. Despairingly so… She was no better than a filler character—a ‘Girl A’, so to speak… Coupled with her underwhelming appearance, many predicted she would be one of the first murdered.”

That got Mukuro to stiffen and look at Junko strangely. Had… Had Junko seriously contemplated killing her at some point? The soldier recalled many times in the past when she had attempted to do so… But this was the Killing Game. Though she was ashamed to admit it now, it was a project she had wholeheartedly supported… because it was what Junko wanted. She thought that, had she listened to Junko’s every instruction, her sister would stop the murder attempts, even for a little while… But then… Was that why Junko wanted her to kill Naegi? Just so she could be executed for it?

“Don’t tell me… the only reason…!” Makoto exclaimed, coming to a similar conclusion as Mukuro.

“Naturally, that’s not the only reason. There was also the more prevalent fact that I’d gotten tired of her. You know… I’ve never ooonce had things go according to plan… It’s like, by planning things out, I know what’s gonna happen, so I started getting booored…” Junko made a cutesy expression, switching personalities again. “… so I had a change of heart and was gonna use the last murder case as a chance to be done with her! But then that stupid, ugly bitch had to get cold feet, and pique my interest with her defiance… But that worked, too! ‘Cause I could just use the scenario to erase Kirigiri instead!”

Mukuro reeled back as Junko concretely confirmed it. Junko… was just going to have her kill Makoto, and she probably wouldn’t have had a fair trial afterward… That, or Monokuma would have left a trail of evidence a mile wide, all pointing to her as the culprit. In that scenario, there would have been no point to defying Junko and fighting for her life. Junko would’ve been the only person she had left. Makoto would be dead, and she had no strong connection with the others… In all likelihood, she would have just accepted her death, because it’s what Junko would have wanted.

Somehow, she didn’t take comfort in the fact Junko decided to call of that option… And maybe it was because… Junko could still want to execute her on a whim… Like in this final Class Trial, should everyone lose.

Junko never said that if she won that they would both live… As her explanation just made clear, Mukuro was a student in the coliseum. If Junko won… she was going to be the sole survivor. Mukuro was just going to be another casualty.

Mukuro’s hand clenched around her chest… That didn’t make her choice any easier. If anything, when voting time came, this was going to be the most difficult decision of her life…

While Mukuro had been ruminating, Junko had apparently rambled on, gushing to everyone else about the greatness of Despair. And now they were to the point of working out what the motives were for, and how they tied to the memories that were stolen. Interpersonal relations, the past, greed, and betrayal… were all very cliché motives indeed, but they are not the only motives in the world. They were Junko’s seeds of Despair. Things that drove people to murder, and thus spark Despair in them. Junko claimed that they Despaired because they had Hope, and that the two concepts were two sides of the same coin – you cannot have one without the other.

It took Junko flat-out stating it, but the reason their memories were stolen… was because they had all promised they would stay their whole lives in this academy, if necessary. They did not desire to escape. And without that desire, they were never going to kill each other… She stole their memories to encourage thoughts of escape.

To nudge the trial along, Junko showed off pictures of the outside world. Of course, none of them had memories of those horrific sights… So to them, these pictures were bizarre and outlandish. Junko egged them on, saying the trial couldn’t continue on if no one could remember what those images were about… and that’s when Mukuro reached a decision.

“… It’s the Biggest, Most Atrocious, Most Despair-Inducing Incident in human history.” Mukuro explained to them all, earning her sister’s ire. “It’s… the reason the academy was converted into a shelter.”

Junko growled at the soldier’s defiant attitude.

“Hey! What happened to no hints?! I explicitly told you, no hints!”

Mukuro shook her head.

“Ah, but it’s something they heard about before, remember? Junko, you told me I could contribute to the trial if it’s about information they already had… And they’d heard about it from Alter Ego, when he decrypted those files.”

Junko backed off when her sister reminded her of that… It was true. Mukuro wasn’t technically breaking any rules… The files had said as much. Junko still looked pissed.

“S-So, wait…” Leon began to sweat. “You’re sayin’… We closed ourselves off in this academy… because the world basically ended? How does that even work?!”

Celes cupped a hand over her mouth as she nodded in agreement.

“I do believe we would have noticed signs that the world was ending, before we entered the academy…”

Junko cocked her head smugly.

“Hmm…? You mean when you entered the academy two years ago…?” She grinned.

“T-Two years…!” Mondo exclaimed, reeling back in shock.

“… That would explain the photos…” Sayaka mused.

“And Hagakure’s notebook…” Makoto added, to the idol’s confusion.

“Huh?” The blue-haired idol tilted her head at the Luckster.

“It was on the second floor of the dorms… Like Kirigiri said, she found a notebook of hers in one of the lockers… But that wasn’t all. Using the Emergency Use e-handbook that was found in the Headmaster’s secret room, I went ahead and investigated the other lockers. There wasn’t really much in the few that I could open, but there was one that still had stuff inside… A crystal ball, tarot cards, and a bunch of notebooks and other supplies. And one of the notebooks had Hagakure’s name written in it.”

“H-Hold on…!” Mondo scrambled to recover. “You’re saying… those lockers belonged to us?!”

“They’d have to… for Kirigiri and Hagakure to have lockers up there…” Fujisaki remarked.

“But I never even attended a single class here!” Leon continued to deny it.

“Hagakure’s notes suggested otherwise…” Makoto refuted the baseball star. “And if we studied here for two years, then it’s no surprise Hagakure had so many notes!”

Kirigiri cupped her chin in thought.

“I see… So that’s when it ‘started’ for each of us…” At her friends’ confused glances, she elaborated. “Each of us blacked out upon setting foot on campus. I would wager that sensation of blacking out was actually just the loss of our memories… We attended school for two years. The Biggest, Most Atrocious, Most Despair-Inducing Incident in human history happens outside the academy walls, and we agree to shelter ourselves in here...”

“Because Headmaster Kirigiri wanted to protect you from all that wonderful Despair outside~!” Junko preened. She then slipped on her glasses again. “But he never considered that there was Despair inside as well…”

Everyone with amnesia sobered up as it all came crashing down on them. The revelations. They’d attended school for two years… possibly became the closest of friends, and experienced growth as a class. Junko and Mukuro worked behind the scenes to bring about the end of the world, and they then sheltered themselves here, most likely so that they could fix the world later when the worst of it was over… A monumental task indeed, but not an impossible one for Ultimates like them.

And then… tragedy struck, as Junko made her move and stole their memories. Confused and befuddled them, making them strangers to one another again, and inspired them to murder…

“And those cameras…” Fujisaki remembered with a whimper.

“That’s riiight~!” Junko chirped. “All your atrocious murders have been broadcast the world over! Some people on the outside haven’t given up yet, and that’s another reason you all had to kill each other~… You guys had to bring it on home to those people that hope is a joke! That even beacons of hope can feel despair~…”

And that was the long and short of it. The full extent of Junko and Mukuro’s betrayal. And yet… something still stuck out to Makoto.

“What do you mean… ‘another reason’…?”

Some perked their ears up at that. It was true. Junko had said that.

… The fashionista adopted a sad personality.

“W-Well… It’s just… spending two years together as a class, even I couldn’t stop growing close to you guys!” Junko sobbed. “So… to have you all kill each other… to have the most important people in my life take their own lives… It’s… It’s so despairingly wonderful~… Orgasmic, really…”

They all just stared at the blonde, who was without a doubt insane… But before they could even grow angry about it, Junko clapped her hands together.

“However, as fun as this is, we don’t have any more time to talk… It’s time we brought this to a close.”

“Bring it to a close…?” Makoto echoed hollowly.

“Ballot time, obviously! Those are the rules, aren’t they?” Junko got all cutesy again. “Oh, and by the way, since this is the final ballot, I decided to change up the rules a bit, toooo!”

“You changed them?” Sayaka asked in bewilderment.

“You guys are Hope, and I’m Despair!” Junko said, holding up Monokuma playfully. “The vote is to decide which of those two deserve to be punished… And if there’s even one vote in favor of punishing Hope… then I will be declared the victor, and Team Hope will be punished!”

“E-Even one vote?!” Fujisaki yelped with wide eyes.

“Ah, no worries. I will, of course, not be participating in the ballot.” Junko said like it was no big deal. “And to make things even more fair, my disappointing older sister will be on your side! Because she’s a stinky traitor that got too buddy-buddy with you all.”

Mondo growled lowly at the fashionista’s proposed rules.

“You’ve got way too many advantages, bitch…!”

“Don’t worry… Nobody here would choose… to have themselves executed…” Makoto assured the biker.

“Oh, and while we’re at it—if I win, you guys’ punishment… is to peacefully and quietly go senile inside the academy! That’s what I’ve decided on!”

... Needless to say, this caught them all off-guard.

“Huh?” Makoto asked intelligibly.

“So… you’re basically saying…” Leon trailed off uncertainly.

“We’d just… continue living here?” Fujisaki asked in disbelief.

“It means we can survive…” Mondo scowled.

Junko got all sad again.

“And if you don’t like that… then you can punish me… and go out into the world…The dead world. A world in which only Despair exists. I don’t imagine you’ll survive long.”

“Wh-What’s your point?!” Makoto questioned. “No matter what you say… we…”

Junko cut him off rather excitedly.

“Stop right there! I just realized something. Just having you rot away in here is pretty damn dull, ain’t it? The audience’ll never go for it. All right, I’ve got it! I’ll give one of you one spectacular mothafuckin’ punishment!”

“What?!” Sayaka exclaimed distressfully. “You mean…

“That one person… will be executed?” Celes finished for her.

“As for who… I’ve got that under control! Naegi! You’re the one!” Junko cackled.

“M-Me…?” Makoto asked in horror.

“I don’t like you, Naegi!” Junko told him bluntly. “You’ve been reeeally defiant! In short, I’m giving you two choices… If even one of you wishes to punish Hope… then Naegi will receive a cruel punishment, and everyone else will live happily together here… But if you all wish to punish me, then I’ll have you leave this place. And you will leave. And then you will die miserable deaths in the outside world. So basically, if you throw Naegi to the sharks, the rest of you get to live!”

That got looks of dismay from everyone in the room. Not because of Junko’s pessimistic belief that they’d die once they left here, but because… if there was even one vote… one… They’d lose Makoto for real. The guy who came back to them. Made them feel unified again, even when they had doubted each other in this final trial…

And it was obvious to Junko that they all had doubts, even Makoto himself.

“What’s this? All outta steam? Not so sure of yourself anymore? Are you afraid of getting punished?” Junko jeered. “Do you not trust your friends…?”

More than a few winced at that mere suggestion. It was true they had fallen apart without him… So it was natural he’d experience doubt here, too. This was their lives on the line, supposedly.

“N-No! That’s not it!” Makoto insisted.

“It’s only natural that you would be experiencing fear. Everyone else seems to have come to the realization that fighting against me is a meaningless endeavor…” As Junko trailed off, Makoto took another look around the room. But it wasn’t quite what Junko was suggesting… There wasn’t self-doubt written on their faces, it was suspicion directed at one another. Especially Mukuro, who was actually the only one conflicted about this ballot time. “Yes… I love those faces… They’re beautiful, eroded away by Despair… Kirigiri can’t betray her daddy, and Muku can’t betray me! Just one person’s Despair means Game Over for ya! It’s hopeless, Naegi! You’re fucked! Hey, hey, who do you think is gonna do it? Whose Despair is gonna kill Naegi?”

Makoto looked down momentarily before placing a hand over his hear.

“No one… is going to give in to Despair!” He vowed. He pointed at her in righteous fury. “No one… is going to lose to you!”

Junko just sighed.

“You’re no fun… Stubborn to the bitter end… Ah, whatever. Let’s get this over with... The final ballot… It ends there—your dubious Hope… and you, as well!”

And just like that, they entered the final debate. Junko listed out every reason why they would be “fucked” if they left the academy… How it would be betraying the Headmaster, who so earnestly wished to protect them. She listed it all.

And yet… One by one, Makoto got through to his friends. It was an uphill battle, but Makoto addressed each of them in turn.

Leon…

“You know… I honestly thought I hated baseball!” The Ultimate All-Star confessed. He grinned roguishly as he ran a hand through his wild mane of hair. “But Naegi got me thinkin’! It’s not really the sport that’s a pain in the ass, it’s those stupid regulations about cuttin’ your hair, wearin’ a uniform! All that formal bullshit, I hate it! But… not the game itself. There’s just somethin’ about it… It’s a part of who I am, and there’s no friggin’ way I’m gonna let the guy who taught me that take the fall so I can ‘live’!”

Mondo…

“Aiyah…” Mondo hung his head as he placed his hands on his hips. “My bros would kill me if I just threw Naegi to the sharks… Daiya and Ishimaru both…” He then looked up and gave a thumb’s up and a massive grin. “I’m not strong. Much as I try to be on my own, I’m just a reckless little shit that got both his bros killed! I’d be a dumbass to let it happen a third time!”

Fujisaki…

“I ran away from being a boy because I wasn’t physically strong… And other boys would give me weird looks for not joining them in most games… I was so scared about my secret getting out, and then worried for Mondo because he lost his temper in the heat of the moment I decided to be brave! I was worried you all would hold that over his head…” Fujisaki muttered quietly, head bowed before he looked up, his face lit with the brightest grin he could muster. “But Makoto understood, and made me comfortable with my real strengths! I’m really good with computers, and I want to help people that way instead of working on my physical weakness… And… I want to be strong in character, like Makoto is. So… I’m not going to let him die here!”

Kyoko…

“… I didn’t know my father, so I can’t tell you what he wanted for me… but if he really was my father—if only by blood—then I’m certain… he would never tell me to stay here if it meant deserting Naegi… I can’t explain why, but I know I’m right… Just because I didn’t know him… doesn’t mean I can’t understand him, I suppose…”

Celes…

“Ehehe…” The gambler held a hand over her mouth as she tinklingly laughed. “Trying to inspire Hope in me, when all I’ve ever wanted to do is escape from here… Truly, you are an amusing knight, Makoto. That is what you promised, is it not? Perhaps that is why you try to reassure me, even now, when it is your life at stake, and not mine… There is only one suitable response in this situation. Makoto, let us escape together! I will not accept anything less.”

Sayaka…

“Makoto… You know my vote was never going to be to punish you…” The idol beamed kindly. “In all that time reaching for my dream, I saw the worst of society, getting disheartened day after day… But then… I saw you, even if it was only from a distance at first. You proved to me people could be better. They could look beyond themselves, and not expect anything in return! You showed me that being selfless was possible, and that selflessness was the whole reason I wanted to be an idol in the first place! There’s no way I could let Junko execute you. Not now, not ever. I lost you once already, and I’m never letting her take you away again…”

And finally… Mukuro…

“… Makoto…” The soldier trailed off at first, hand clenched to her chest, gaze down. “This isn’t an easy decision for me to make… I’m literally being forced to choose between you and Junko. Whatever I choose, one of you is going to die…” She looked up with fierce determination. “But… In the end, my trust in Junko has been shaken. Even if I voted for Hope to be punished so that she could live, there’s no guarantee she would really let any of us to ‘live’ in this academy… And while I place little value on my own life, as well as the lives of others, I can’t help but remember how painful it was to lose you… and how relieved I was when you came back to us. I couldn’t bear to go through with that again. Your ‘death’ hurt me worse than any physical injury could have… I have no desire to feel such Despair again. Like Junko said… I’m not her. I can never be her. I swore my loyalty to her because she was family, and she always seemed to be the ‘brain’ between us… But if she’s just going to hit me with another dose of Despair – your real death – and then kill me later, I might as well turn the tables while I can. Junko ordered me to be a student along with all of you, and I’ll consider that her last official order. I… was a member of Class 78, too, so that won’t be a problem… right? I thought a soldier was supposed to never question orders… but… watching everyone here defy Monokuma at every turn, watching you defy him, Makoto, it started making me think what a soldier can fight for. They can fight for the sake of the mission… Or they can fight to protect. And I… I want to be that kind of soldier. I want to protect… you… because you got me to start thinking about the world outside of Junko, You’ve never asked for anything except to be friends, and I… like that… When we get out of here, I’ll be sure to protect you from the Despair that’s out there. If you can affect me, a member of Ultimate Despair, you can easily change all of those people Junko tricked into joining her cause!”

As Mukuro concluded her speech, which put all of them but Junko at ease, Kirigiri smiled and added a little more input.

“You know, I don’t think it was Luck or misfortune that brought you here to Hope’s Peak… You’re here for a completely different reason… You’re here to crush the Ultimate Despair… and never relenting in your stand against Despair itself… We should be calling you the Ultimate Hope.” The Ultimate Detective crossed her arms in satisfaction. Junko, meanwhile, reeled back in anger and shock.

“What… the hell? What the hell are you?! You sicken me… This is absolutely nauseating… Your faces, your words, your interactions… they disgust me! That doesn’t make you cool, y’know?! You’re lame! You’re lame, you’re lame, you’re lame! You suck! You suck, you suck, you suck, you suck…!”

Makoto closed his eyes in concentration.

‘I’m not a world-class anything—nor would I say I have any special abilities worthy of calling ‘Hope’… However… However, I will not…!’

And just like that, Junko and Makoto entered the final part of the debate – just between him and her. she threw insults and all sorts of negativity at him, but he shot through all those derogatory remarks…

“Despair of tomorrow! Despair of the unknown! Despair of your memories!” Junko taunted, but Makoto shook his head.

“Hope keeps on going…!” The Luckster proclaimed passionately. “I will not give up, and I will not give in. I will not grow weary of myself, or the world. I will not abandon the things and people I care about. And I will not succumb to Despair! I mean, my optimism is my one redeeming quality!”

Junko was at a total loss for words.

“What… the hell?! What the freaking hell?!”

With the debate come to a close, Celes placed her hands on her hips and glanced around the room.

“It looks like we’re done here. I suppose it’s Ballot Time?”

Leon ran a hand through his hair.

“We cast our ballot with the switch here, right?”

“Okay! Here goes…!” Fujisaki cheered.

“Finally…! Time to end this fucking ‘game’…!” Mondo grinned.

“Let’s put an end to this Class Trial… and all the bloodshed it represents…” Kirigiri intoned solemnly.

“With our own hands!” Sayaka agreed wholeheartedly.

Mukuro and Makoto both smiled, having nothing else to add. They all cast their ballots… and the slot machine ended up on three faces of Junko. Despair was found Guilty… and Despair would be punished…

“Huh…? What just…” Junko trailed off in disbelief.

“Junko Enoshima… you lose.” Kirigiri asserted.

“Lose? Lose? I did? Th-That’s… That’s…!”

Leon groaned.

“What now? You gonna deny it?”

Celes rolled her eyes.

“Figures. Even the Ultimate Despair is vulnerable to a dose of her own Despair…”

“Deny it all you want, it won’t change a thing!” Sayaka said firmly.

But Junko continued on…

“THAT’S—FREAKING AMAZING~!!” Junko grinned rather gleefully.

“H-Huh…?” Fujisaki didn’t understand… none of them did.

“This… This is Despair!” Junko cooed. “I came to this academy… two years ago… and I toiled away, crafting the most intricate plan… I was even gonna sacrifice my sister for its success! And yet, in the end, I still failed! There is no greater Despair in this world!”

“Wh-What… What are you talking about?” Makoto wanted to try and understand, even if Junko was perhaps the evilest person he’d ever met.

“I was Despairingly hopeless! From the moment I came into this world, I was tired of everything!” Junko gushed. “So I’ve been looking forward to this moment… this once-in-a-lifetime experience… my whole life… My first and last chance to experience the most awesome Despair! The moment of my death! And to experience it alongside the world-class Despair of my project’s failure… Ahh! I’m so hopelessly ecstatic!”

“Is she… happy?” Fujisaki asked warily.

“In any event… you admit defeat, yes?” Kirigiri asked for clarification.

“Aha… Ahahahaha! It doesn’t really matter whether I’ve won or lost! ‘Cause, either way, it’s all the same for you guys, in the end… Despair outside, and Despair inside! There’s nothing but Despair for you!”

“N-No… You’re…” Makoto trailed off, only for Mukuro to support him.

“You’re wrong.” The soldier fixed her sister with a stern glare.

“Hrmm?” Junko faced her sister curiously, having not seen Mukuro talk back to her like this.

“I… I can’t claim to be onboard with the concept of ‘Hope’ yet… But if that’s what it means to support Makoto, then I’ll do it! I’ll make sure to undo all of your plans, even on the outside! I was in deep enough to know a lot of your major plans, so seeing them foiled will not be difficult at all. Because… it will bring you even greater Despair, and I’ve always wanted to give you what you want, Junko… Even if you never praise me, I’ll work hard to undo everything!”

“We’re not afraid of your Despair anymore…” Celes chimed in.

“We’ve made up our minds! We’re going out there, our Hope held high!” Mondo added.

“Naegi talked us into it…” Leon chuckled sheepishly.

“Our little Ultimate Hope~!” Sayaka cooed, pecking Makoto on the cheek and making him blush.

“Junko Enoshima, you said that Despair spreads like a contagion… Well, Hope does the same thing.” Kirigiri said matter-of-factly. “I’d say the eight of us are the proof you need of that.”

“K-Kirigiri…!” Makoto smiled in gratitude.

Junko was still locking eyes with Mukuro, but then she reeled back in disgust.

“I just can’t get a break, can I? Even Muku growing a spine from out of nowhere… There’s no way such a useless older sister will actually be of help to you guys… I despise that look you guys get at times like this! I know I’m only inviting more pain by doing this, by prolonging how long I have to look at those faces…” Junko calmed down marginally. “… But one last thing. You guys have this helpless obsession with Hope, and if you don’t wanna let that go, that’s fine and all… but you’d best prepare yourselves… because from here on out, you’ll find Despair cropping up to block your path at every turn. No matter which road you take… no matter where you try and hide… Wherever there’s Hope, there will always be Despair—like the two sides of a coin, they’re inseparable. Will you guys be able to hold firm in your devotion to Hope through all of that?”

“O-Of course we will… We…” Naegi trailed off, only to get cut off by Enoshima again.

“Don’t bother! I’m just talking to myself here! There’s no need for you to respond!” Junko sighed dreamily. “But even that must come to an end… After all, it’s about time for my punishment, don’t you think?!”

“You intend… to execute yourself?” Kirigiri asked.

“Those are the rules!” Junko preened. She then fixed Mukuro with a moody glare. “And if you even think about interfering, I’ll have the remote crushed, and you’ll still all be trapped in here! You know I’ll do it!”

Mukuro closed her eyes in resignation, but Makoto spoke up.

“I don’t… really think it’s necessary for you to…” He got cut off again…

“Stop! Stop! Stop! Stop!!!” Junko screamed.

“What?!” Makoto was taken aback.

“Have you listened to a word I said?! I have no Hope for my life! Quite the opposite—I’m giddy with anticipation for the once-in-a-lifetime chance to taste death’s Despair… So back off!!!” Soon enough, Junko hovered over the red button that had plagued them throughout all the trials. “Upupu… Upupupu! Ahh, so this is death’s Despair… It’s exquisite! I wish I could have shared even just ten percent… no, even just one percent of this Despair… with the rest of the world! I wish I could have taken the world and coated it in this marvelous Despair! Now, let’s begin! I have a very special punishment reserved for last…! Let’s get this ball rollin’! IIIT’S PUNISHMENT TIIIME! AHAHAHAHAHA!”

With that crazed speech given, her eyes swirling deeply with Despair, Junko finally pressed down on the button… And the usual sequence began. The screens over the survivors read, “Congratulations! Junko Enoshima has been found guilty. Commencing execution…” An 8-bit sprite version of Junko walked off the screens with Monokuma gleefully, rather than being dragged like the past murderers had been…

It wasn’t a single execution. Junko was put through a montage of executions… One where she was tied to a post and bombarded with baseballs. One where she sat on a motorcycle that ran around in a motorcycle cage that was electrified. One where she had to operate a computer to shut defuse a countdown… and was summarily given the electric chair for successfully defusing it. There was one where she had to sing and hit the notes of a karaoke song, to fill a score meter until it was full, and a beartrap along the edge of the stage; the trap snaps closed just as she’s about to fill the meter all the way. There was one where she had to navigate a field of landmines, and failed to do anything when Monokuma flew by in a bomber plane and dropped a nuke. There was, “The Burning of the Versailles Witch,” where she was in the midst of burning flames, and then crushed by a firetruck. There was, “The Space Journey,” where she went up in a rocket and swiftly came crashing back down.

There’d been one execution for each of them. Makoto had a feeling the last one would’ve been reserved for him…

Finally… There was the Detention execution. The one that failed for Kirigiri. Junko sat in a chair, without a desk, as the conveyer belt carried her back to a giant metal cube that would utterly crush her… She was holding Monokuma in her lap, flashing a victory sign, and shooting them all a Cheshire grin. Her attitude made them think she would back out at the last second…

But she never resisted. Soon enough, she was under the cube. The mechanism temporarily stopped, making even Junko think it had malfunctioned again… But just as she looked up… It slammed down on her hard. There was a thick, goopy noise as her blood splattered all over, indicating her death was not faked…

Junko Enoshima was, without a doubt, permanently dead…

And what they all presumed to be the escape switch was lying a little away from the cube that had crushed Enoshima, and had ceased working the moment it crushed her. The switch was coated in blood now, but it was otherwise undamaged.

They would finally be able to escape… The final Class Trial… Junko Enoshima, the Ultimate Despair… their lives at the academy… The game was totally, completely over.

~*~

It was over, but the building didn’t go down in a Hollywood-style explosion, and it didn’t all fade to black… It didn’t end in extravagant, flowery detail, nor, really, did anything ending-like happen at all. Everything remained the same.

Well… except one thing.

The AC stopped. The thing that Junko called the “air purifier”… shut down. That was it. They would have a little precious time to collect anything they might need to go out into a world that was purportedly war-torn and enveloped in chaos and Despair… But then they would have to leave. They wouldn’t be able to stay.

… Not that they intended to in the first place… But this, was their Farewell to Despair Academy…

~*~

The eight of them eventually regrouped in the entrance hall, where it had all began. They remained silent for some time, standing in front of the door… caught up in their own epilogue, and all the events that preceded the conclusion.

After a while, Kirigiri folded her arms.

“Just standing here isn’t going to get us anywhere… It’s about time we get going…” She nodded to the Luckster. “Naegi, would you do the honors?”

“S-Sure…” Makoto stuttered, taking the switch from her and feeling its weight in his hands…

“Do you think it’s real?” Leon couldn’t help but ask. “Is that really the key to this door?”

“As best as we can guess…” Fujisaki muttered. “Based on what she said, this should open it…”

“She said she would ensure we left…” Kirigiri rubbed her chin contemplatively. “And then she left us this just before she died… Given that, it seems very likely that this would be the key we need to get out of here.”

“B-But still… what if it’s, like, a self-destruct button?” Leon proposed. “Enoshima never said we’d leave this place alive…”

“That is possible, yes…” Kirigiri conceded.

“But we can just not push it…” Celes pointed out. “The air purifier is dead, and will never work again.”

That was true. But to quell their fears, Mukuro spoke up.

“It’s the escape switch. There is no deceit. Jin Kirigiri pressed that button to seal us within, when this all started. Junko could not have tampered with it.”

Though that might not have meant much, coming from a former enemy… many of them had to admit, it was a little comforting that the Headmaster held the switch before Junko did. It meant that it wasn’t another contraption that she developed… It was possible that she did tweak with the remote, behind Mukuro’s back… But that wasn’t a possibility they liked to dwell on.

Mondo scowled with determination.

“Even if it is a trap… We just gotta risk it. I have to know… how the gang’s doing on the outside. The gang Daiya and I created together…”

“My band… My friends…” Sayaka whispered quietly, hugging her arms in fright, Makoto wrapping his arm around her shoulders in comfort.

“We should also check on the loved ones of Asahina and the others…” Fujisaki chipped in. “They deserve to know what happened, if they don’t know already!”

“I just hope… the world we all know and love is waiting for us on the other side of this door…” Leon grinned nervously. “That Enoshima’s story was one big, fat lie…”

Makoto hummed in thought.

“But no matter what’s happened to it, it’s still ‘our world’… So, whatever is waiting for us out there… watch out, because here we come. Besides, well, compared to this academy, the world’s a pretty big place… and because of how big it is, there’s obviously always going to be despair somewhere… but there’s just as much hope, y’know?”

Sayaka loosened up in his arms, marginally.

“The search for hope—the endeavor to find hope… That, in itself, is true Hope… and as long as you have that, you can keep pressing forward, no matter how hard you fall…”

Celes giggled, hand covering her mouth again.

“I’m certain if Togami were here, he would say that he doesn’t need the ‘likes of you’ to tell him that… It would be just like him to look down his nose at someone as… Hopeful as Makoto…”

Mondo groaned.

“Oi… Don’t bring up that arrogant sonuvabitch again… I was ready to punch him from day one…”

“And you did punch Makoto…” Sayaka scowled, to which the biker looked appropriately chagrined.

“Keep in mind…” Mukuro spoke up again. “There are people on the outside who haven’t given up on Hope yet… Now that we’re through with the trial, I can tell you that one such group is called the Future Foundation, which is made up of Hope’s Peak graduates and former staff… We will not be alone in righting the wrongs I helped to commit…”

No one denied Mukuro had a hand in creating all this… But, internally, more than a few admitted that Junko really was the brains of the operation. Though Mukuro was misguided, she was loyal to her family… which a lot of them could not find fault with. If you couldn’t find companionship in your family, who could you fall back on?

… Well, Mukuro would be finding out the answer to that question, now that Junko was gone…

“Let’s just see what we can do out there…” Kirigiri stated. “I look forward to continuing to work with all of you.”

“I guess this is goodbye… goodbye to this academy… And Ishimaru, Asahina, Sakura…” Fujisaki said.

“Yamada, Togami, Fukawa, and Hagakure as well…” Celes remarked, twirling a lock of hair around her finger. “Though I would normally charge for my services… If you are ever in need, come and talk to me. Whether or not I will be able to help you is another matter…”

“It had to happen sooner or later… Let’s send everyone off with a smile!” Sayaka said, smiling sadly. “I’ll… I’ll come up with some songs to pay homage to them!”

“Guys, if you ever need some muscle, just holler! I’ll come runnin’ over in a flash!” Mondo promised.

“That goes for me, as well…” Mukuro admitted, knowing Makoto would at least want to help his friends here. She planned to stick close to his side, though.

“I’m not gonna miss this place…” Leon admitted.

“I can’t say I will, either.” Kirigiri concurred. “But I do kind of feel strange about leaving…”

“I’m not quite sure how to put it into words…” Makoto said finally. “… but I guess this is our graduation, huh? Well, then… Here goes!”

Finally, Makoto pressed the switch… with his own hands… with their own hands… they would walk through the door to the future where Hope and Despair were intertwined… They had Hope, so they would soar. They had Hope, so they would continue the fight, and right the wrongs of the past.

With little fanfare, there was a large blaring sound as the door’s mechanisms began to unlock and open. The turrets trained at the door went up into the ceiling, and the iron door finally opened…

They’d earned the freedom they yearned for since the beginning...

#Danganronpa #Makoto Naegi #Sayaka Maizono #Mukuro Ikusaba #Makoto x Sayaka #Makoto x Mukuro #Naegi x Maizono #Naegi x Ikusaba #Naezono #Naekusaba

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