#dark schneider x reader

[an-idyllic-novelist]

dark schneider with shinobu!reader headcanons - part two

Warnings: ooc, violence, KNY manga spoilers, Bastard!! anime season two spoilers, strong language, violence, mentions of PTSD.

If you are not comfortable reading this type of story, please push the back button and read something more pleasant.

Hey guys, welcome to part two the fluffier version of the yandere headcanons, featuring the handsome, arrogant wizard Dark Schneider of the Netflix's anime series Bastard!! Heavy Metal, Dark Fantasy and the character!reader who is Shinobi Kocho from the beloved world of Demon Slayer aka Kimetsu no Yaiba! The link to them will be here.

For those who just came here and haven’t read part one, please do so before proceeding. The link to part one is here.

As it is portrayed in the series, there will be multiple references to heavy metal bands. I claim no ownership over them, including the lyrics of Operation: Mindcrime, composed by the American heavy metal band Queensryche in 1988 under the album of the same name.

Special thanks to @ccruzmoon, @anniespostssworld, @enryegotrip, and @mitra555 for their feedback and help with making this one of the best sequels I’ve written for a headcanon series in a long while! :)

So, with that being said, sit back, relax, and let's dive back into a world of magic and musical mayhem!

Golems from the ancient world aren’t much different than the ones used today. They are sentient, programmed to perform certain tasks, and able to regenerate themselves should their bodies be destroyed by an enemy. In fact, they were deemed as prototypes of an ‘AI - Drone’. Yoko didn’t know much beyond what her father had shown her in the temple’s sacred texts, but she did emphasize just how lucky you were to have discovered one in a weapons’ storehouse belonging to the Dark Rebel Army, with its parts and programming still in excellent condition. You have had it for over a year, and you can certainly tell that it wasn’t used for thermal optics or firing weapons at opponents from great distances like the AI-Drones were originally designed to do in war. 

For one, Led Zeppelin was made of metal dripped in gold, with stubby legs and a long feathery tail as well as wings. It could change its body’s mass from the size of a dumpling to a pillow in the blink of an eye, and had a mouth of razor-sharp teeth that served two purposes: storing items in its body, and showing recordings it took from its point of view. Oh, and biting people who came too close to you, its owner. Apparently, according to the technicians in the samurai residence, Led Zeppelin immediately bonded with you, the first person it saw once they had reactivated its factory settings. 

Well…supposed it is still a tad bit rude to keep referring to Led Zeppelin as an ‘it’ when ‘he’ has always been by your side, acting as a personal assistant and a subsequent comfort pet because goldfish have been extinct for the last century. When the night terrors began occurring last month, however, your Zeppelin had been stuck in the mechanical shop for a month because a few of his corroding parts were getting more difficult to find, courtesy of the Dark Rebel’s Army growing power in the country. 

But now the remaining safe haven in A-Ian-Maide was under attack by two Samurai Shoguns and a herd of sphinxes, your golem’s role would be more important than ever. He would keep Lucien Renlen safe, along with the women and children and the samurai who are stationed to look after them. When you gave this order, the golem shook his body rapidly - clearly he wanted to follow you into the battlefield outside. 

You smiled sadly as you shook your head too, cradling the tiny Zeppelin in your hands. “You have to. If there is anyone in this world who is capable of defeating the Dark Rebel Army and preventing them from reviving the God of Destruction,” You looked up, seeing a raven-haired young man in standard leather armor and about to burst into tears as he looked at you with wide, dark blue eyes. “It is the boy you are protecting. This is my final command as your owner.” When you said this, Zeppelin started weeping. You were startled. Since when golems could cry?

“Ara, ara, come now.” You cooed, wiping away the golden, oily tears with your thumbs. “You must be brave for me, Led Zeppelin. Farewell, my dearest companion.” Pressing a kiss against his tiny horns, you reluctantly took a few steps forward and placed Led Zeppelin on top of Lucien’s head. Giving the golem one final pat on the head, you turned around, ready to sprint from the main lobby and toward what might become your tombstone when a pair of wiry arms wrapped around your waist, squeezing you tightly from behind.

“[First Name], please don’t go!” You couldn’t feel his tears through your leather armor, and yet his voice was cracked. Desperate to keep you here behind the safety of the castle’s walls….even when these walls may come crumbling down the longer you are here. Untangling Lucien’s arms from your body, you turned around and faced him, covering his quivering hands with your own. 

“Lucien, I can’t. I need to be there for them, for Yoko. I can’t fail as I…as I had failed the two of you in Meta-llicana, the citizens. If I had only been quicker, stronger….none of this would have happened. And you wouldn’t have taken so long to recover. I’m so, so, sorry.” For a brief moment, you saw a glimmer of recognition in Lucien’s eyes. Perhaps you were already losing your mind? 

Shaking your head, you released Lucien’s hands from your grasp….and pulled him into a tight embrace. “Remember this, Lucien. To be born is a blessing. Do not look back in remorse, because nothing good comes from it. And remember to smile, even when it seems like suffering is coming towards you like an avalanche and it’s hard to breathe. But above all else….never forget that you are loved. Yoko loves you, and I love you. You are strong, and even if something happens to me…I know you will keep moving forward.” 

Leaning forward, you gently kissed Lucien. This is the same ritual Yoko had secretly been performing when she thought no one was around, oblivious to just how many times Led Zeppelin has caught her in action and you’ve seen it via the recordings. As the high priest’s daughter, she was the only other person left who could perform the Accept spell that would release Dark Schneider. Yet for the last two years, Lucien’s second identity never emerged. 

But you had hope. You believe that he will return…because he is the handsome, unsaintly, powerful hero of this universe. The show wouldn’t be the same without its main star, and it’s already been five episodes into the second season. 

Reluctantly, you took a step back from Lucien and Led Zeppelin, then another before you turned around and blitzed down the carpeted corridor towards the sound of battle cries, spell-casting, and the deafening roar of the sphinxes. A genocide opera almost fitting for an Insect Hashira ready to lay her life on the line….and bring her enemies down with her, no matter the cost. 

“Let me out! Damn it you brat, I said let me out! Let me help [First Name] or else she’ll get killed out there! Do you want her to die, or do you want her to live with us as the queen of the world we’ll conquer?!” Dark Schneider screamed inside Lucien’s head, pouring more of his magic through the seal that has kept him imprisoned in this weak body. “I’m ready! I’m strong enough to destroy these bastards now! SO LET ME OUT ALREADY, GODDAMMIT!!” 

The rain made the rocks slick, so blitzing from one area of the crumbling castle to another at your speed was almost impossible without slipping and spraining your ankle.  Leaving yourself wide open isn’t an option either, especially when one of the Shoguns was using wire to incapacitate his enemies, just like what he had done with Jorg. Making yourself scarce wasn’t your fighting style, but you couldn’t always do what you wanted to do on a battlefield. 

Still…the wires….

You carefully thumbed one of them, eyeing it carefully before recognition flashed through your mind. Ah, now  you remember! It had been when that girl who fancied herself as redeemable even after she allowed her little brother to kill so many humans and make them his spider familiars! If that’s the case….

You unsheathed your sword, palming the leather handle for a moment before you swiftly swung the blade, cutting down the wires that kept you from reaching the other samurai, Vai leading them. As you walked towards them, it took all of your willpower to not look down and see the bloodied corpses of the men sprawled at your feet. 

He was surprised, yelling how it was possible that you could see the threads. His statement made you blink in shock, pausing your treatment of an injured samurai. The wires were invisible, and yet you could see them? How odd. You were sure they could see it too. 

Shaking your head, you quickly administered the necessary aid to your patient from the sewed pockets of your haori. 

 A full vial of Dragon’s Breath to cauterize the wound, dried vermillion petals soaked in alcohol for disinfection, followed by bandages. “Believe me, I wish I knew too, but this is neither the time nor the place, Vai.” You said, helping the patient onto his feet. “All right, let’s get him somewhere where he can lay low -“ 

That was when you all heard it: a roar that shook the earth, ripping across the air through the valley followed by warmth seeping down your neck. Fear coiled itself in your stomach as the low thudding of footsteps grew closer. Blinking slowly, you turned your head and saw it. A magnificent specimen of a male sphinx, it’s orange mane bristled and teeth baring. 

Oh, dear. That is not good. It’s one thing to have a magical creature being controlled by a wizard, but an angry one? Definitely not good. You licked your cracked mouth. 

“Vai?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you distract that sphinx?”

“What?” 

“I said, can you distract this incredibly terrifying animal long enough so I can strike it from behind?” You said, patience wearing thin. “Can you do it or not?” 

Vai faltered for a moment, glancing at the sphinx before he groaned. “F-Fine, but be quick! It’s resistant to magic!” He exclaimed, taking the injured samurai from you and passing him to another comrade. 

You grinned. “Good thing what I have in mind does not involve using spells.” Bending your knees, you leaned back and blitzed forward. The sphinx unfurled its massive feathered wings, releasing strong gusts of wind that blew most of the samurai away, and high up in the air. Just where you needed to be. You inhaled sharply through your teeth, spinning your body so you were facing the sphinx, your dominant arm pulled back and holding your gleaming ninichrin blade. 

“Insect Breathing: Butterfly Dance Caprice.” 

You lunged forward, stabbing the sphinx in its backside and hind legs with the poison you had applied to the sword prior to the invasion as part of your weekly maintenance routine. You could have targeted the chest and behind the ears, but it would have taken longer for the poison to be absorbed into its body. The areas you struck in the male were much more vulnerable simply because they were used to attract potential females through an intricate dance, similar to what certain exotic birds did during mating season, at least that’s what you read in the encyclopedias back in your old world. 

Landing on the fractured stones of a destroyed keep, you watched in sadistic satisfaction as the sphinx crumbled into a heap, struggling to stand up for just a brief moment before losing consciousness. Good. It’s working. You thought. 

“I’m going ahead!” You yelled. “I’ll take down as many of these sphinxes as I can, and provide cover! If you see any threads blocking your path, tell me and I’ll cut them!” 

“How are you even doing this?!”

“Strike first, ask questions later!” 

And that was exactly what you did. You struck down the sphinxes who weren’t too high up in the air with your poison and sliced through the wires that weren’t coated with the heavy oil Yoko had released, flying across the battlefield like a butterfly just as you had done as a Demon Slayer. 

Who would have thought that one of the people you had saved during an outbreak of purple fever had been a magician gifted in the art of reconstructing an entire object to its original condition, so long as she had a piece of it? 

But there was no time for being sentimental, even for a second. The samurai were counting on you to even the odds that were in their favor. 

 Darting across the ruins of the castle, you heard a maniacal, grating laugh from amongst the sphinx’s roars. Skidding to a halt, you glanced up and saw a figure dressed in white and balancing himself in midair on a wire, holding Joshua captive in a web. Ah, that must be the Sorcerer Shogun responsible for killing Jorg. 

Supposed….it’s time to also test that too, hm? 

You inhaled a deep breath, closing your eyes as you crouched down towards with your sword by your side. Focus on opening the blood vessels in your legs, pumping oxygen through every muscle fiber and remaining absolutely still until you’re ready. You waited…and then you felt it. The muscles in your legs grew taunt, like a bowstring being pulled back and the faintest trace of thunder crackling beneath your feet. You smiled sadly.  Forgive me for using your own Breathing Style, Zenitsu. 

[Eye Color] irises snapped open. “Thunder Breathing: Thunderclap and Flash!” 

You pushed on your back leg, catapulting through the air as blue-white bolts of lightning swept beneath your feet. You raised your sword, slicing through the threads and allowing Joshua to get free.  Because you were ‘running’ at a high speed, you were not able to stop until you collided with the cliffside. You backflipped, using the momentum from your feet and the remainder of the Thunder Breathing technique to propel from the rocky terrain and propel towards the Sorcerer Shogun.

Dark brown hair matted down, half of it covering the right side, with a single red eye widening in surprise as you flew towards him, smiling and inhaling through the mouth again. 

“Insect Breathing, Dance of the Centipede: Hundred Legged Zigzag. Thunder Breathing: Thunderclap and Flash!”

Using two separate Breathing Styles at once is almost impossible because of the strain it puts on the body and having complete control over both techniques without it faltering either of them. You zigzagged across the sky, and with the lightning under your feet, it allowed you to close the distance between you and the Sorcerer Shogun, sword aimed at his neck. But instead of putting the poor fool out of his misery, you just grazed his clavicle area. 

Still, a graze will allow the poison to seep into his body. Won’t be long before he’s knocked out as well. You thought, landing on the ground on wobbly feet. You blinked, steadying yourself and trying very hard to ignore the black dots clouding your vision. Oh dear, methinks that was a bit too much. Well, can’t stop now. You thought, sheathing your sword just when you heard your name being called. Turning around, you saw Joshua running towards you, his mouth open and….saying something? 

Darkness suddenly enveloped you from behind, yet before you could do anything you felt something heavy and furry collide against your back, knocking the air out of your lungs as you were suddenly planted face-first into the ground. You wheezed. You tried to push yourself up, but the pressure just increased. Damn it, you might have broken a rib. Maybe two of them. The deafening roar that pierced your ear told you what was pinning you down. A sphinx. Not the smaller males. This was a female, and it is the larger one of the aggressive species. More than that, she doesn’t play with her food. 

If she’s hungry, she’ll swallow you in a single gulp. 

Nausea clenched at your throat like a fist, making it difficult to breathe through your nose. Your vision was starting to grow blurry. No. No…I can’t…I need…to get…up! 

“It’s okay.”

You froze, startled upon hearing a very familiar voice inside the recesses of your mind. Lucien? Is that…how did you…?!

“Everything will be okay, [First Name]. We’re here now. Just hang tight.”  

That was when the smell of sulfur hit you. The sphinx’s paw that had you pinned down was suddenly off, allowing you to roll onto your back and let air enter your body, even as the flames were grazing  the sleeves of your haori.  You watched with blurry eyes as the magical creature was incinerated….along with the others that were in the sky…by vortexes of red flames that jutted…from the castle’s baileys and rooftops? 

There’s only one person in the world who could perform magic on that scale. You smiled. It’s him. He’s back, after two long years. 

Dark Schneider is more than a little annoyed right now. 

He might have been able to take over after promising Lucien that he will keep [First Name] once he took possession of the body, but the badass comeback he had been planning to make in this series totally got screwed up by that weird-lookin’ peasant! Royal bodyguard? Sorry, no one gives orders to Dark Schneider, he’s the one that hands them out on a silver platter to his loyal servants. 

And why the fuck did the Sorcerer Shogun with Yorazashi threads quickly recover from the poison that his queen had personally given him?! No one is supposed to have plot immunity except for him, the gorgeous and saintly protagonist! 

He’s scripted to have a flashy battle with these clowns too, damn it! Macapine and Ba Thory are going down. He didn’t care if his salary was going to get cut in this episode, [First Name] needed him, right now. 

Raising his hand, the mighty evil wizard summoned the Goa Cyclone spell, followed by Spears ‘o Stone. The last one impaled the Shogun that had bugs in his body. Macapine was sent flying somewhere, and Dark Schneider hoped he would never come back for the rest of the season. Closing his eyes, he began to channel magic into the next incantation; this was a tricky spell, since it required a considerable amount of concentration for him to be able to accurately track down the person he wishes to find. 

Come, you know that you cannot refuse me

Let me into your mind,

So that we can watch the dragon burn 

Beneath the moonlight and stars of Revolution!

Operation Mindcrime!

Purple smoke and sparks of lightning billowed around him, swirling like a rising mist before immediately sinking into the crumbled stones beneath his feet. Dark Schneider’s magic thrummed as it traveled beneath the earth, driven by his desire to seek out the Insect Hashira, looking for the tiniest spec of her own white magic. Once his magic found that thin tendril, he was able to find her. 

She was being cradled by Kai’s arms while Yoko kneeled in front of her, the high priestess using her holy magic. Dark Schneider almost snarled at the sight of small lacerations on his queen’s face, the bruises on her hands and the sound of ribs being pushed back into place, eliciting a pained groan from her.

That’s enough. He thought, walking down the stairs, past the onlookers and Mifune, towards the battlefield with Lars tagging along behind him…and [First Name]’s golem. Yeah, the little bastard didn't like him one bit, not with how much he’s growling and snapping his teeth. He quickened his stride, almost blitzing through the carnage towards where the others were….wait, what is [First Name] doing?!

Yoko and Kai were yelling at her as she wobbled unsteadily towards a partially-eaten samurai, his lower half covered with what looked like the same creatures Ba Thory summoned to try to use on him, the greatest sorcerer in the world. 

“I appreciate your concern Yoko, Kai, but please let me…see what these creatures are. If they are what I think they are….we still have a chance to save everyone!” She looked at them with wide eyes, tired and desperate. “Please.”

Dark Schneider quickened his pace, almost running towards them with a furrowed brow. “Idiot.” He muttered. What could [First Name] even do in her current condition. Moreover, why is she trying so hard to save nobodies who barely made an impact on the second season of this show? She needed to take care of herself before taking care of others. How many close-calls of collapsing from overworking and suffering from night-terrors is it going to take until she understands that she can’t do everything if she’s weak? 

“Hey -” He called out, wanting to know what exactly is going on in this scenario when someone struck him in the back of the head with a fish. Glancing over his shoulder, the wizard felt annoyance and fear coil in his stomach simultaneously as he saw Yoko glowering down at him. 

“Late, late, late! You are so late!” She screamed, relentless in her assault as she continued to hit his head. “What took you so long?! What have you been up to for the past two years?! Almost the entire new cast of characters and we’re at risk of getting canceled unless we do something!” Her fists were quickly replaced with a mace that seemingly appeared out of nowhere. “But on top of it all, [First Name] says she can save everyone but we don’t even know how or what she’s talking about!”

“And why should I care what happens to them?” Dark Schneider barked as he rubbed his sore skull, his eyes narrowed in annoyance. “I don’t care about anyone else except for [First Name].”

The high priestess shook her fist in the air.  “What was that, you ungrateful little-!”

“That’s enough, Yoko!” [First Name] snapped, kneeling beside the fallen samurai next to Kai. Pulling out a scalpel, forceps and corked vial from her haori. 

She made an incision on one of the worms, causing it to squeal and writhe. Kai immediately plunged the tip of her sword into the leech, keeping it still long enough for [First Name] quickly used the forceps, pulling out a slimy, translucent worm about an inch, two inches long, holding it up in the air. 

“I knew it.” She whispered. “This is it.”

“What is it?” Kai asked. 

“This, my dear friend, is a regeneration worm. Difficult to find due to its rarity, but it is capable of healing wounds that cannot be repaired by magic,” [First Name] shared a hopeful smile with the taller woman. “Maybe…bring back our comrades from the brink of death. Like Schen Karr here.”

“You’re serious?”

“Quite.” [First Name] said. “Yoko! I need him!” 

“What?” 

“Trust me! Darsh, could you come here please? You too, Yoko!” [First Name] asked, waving her hand up and down in the air as she looked at him, hope and determination dancing in her eyes. 

Dark Schneider groaned. He knew that look. She wasn’t going to stop now until she collapses, so why does it turn him on so much? Well….he’ll just have to sweep her up in his arms like a princess and give some TLC later, right? Wait….did she just call him Darsh? He felt his face heat up a little. Damn it. Why does it sound so much better when she says than how Arshes called me that in the past?!

[First Name] quickly explained what he already knew about regeneration worms, and where Yoko’s healing magic comes into play. Kai was all for it and took off to inform the remaining samurai to gather what’s left of their fallen comrades. The high priestess went to work on Schen Karr, chanting blessed spells around Schen Karr while Dark Schneider and Led Zeppelin collected the worms. He had no problems finding the bastard Ba Thory and taking him apart piece by piece to get what his queen wanted, but how and why would a golem help out?

He knew about their storage capacity, nothing else beyond that. 

When he saw its jaws open and devour the leeches on the samurai’s body in three bites and regurgitate the worms on the ground in a neat pile by his feet, Dark Schneider withdrew his previous statement. 

While the handsome hero and his trusty sidekick Lars helped collect the worms, [First Name] would insert them inside her patients after she patched them up the wounds that Yoko's magic couldn’t reverse. The reddish-orange hues of dawn soon appeared over the mountainside as the heavy rain dissipated into a light sprinkle. The samurai crowded around, hugging each other or rushing around to help the citizens who got caught in the crossfire, bringing them to either Yoko or [First Name]. 

However, Dark Schneider could see that the healing process was taking its toll on his queen. She kept rubbing her eyes with the back of her hand, trying to keep them focused on her task. She needed to rest, and yet there was still a line of people who needed treatment. He commended [First Name] for being as patient as she had been, because he would’ve snapped the whiny warrior’s neck in half right now for refusing to lie still. No one wanted a weird-ass worm inside of them, but she would never deliberately endanger a patient. Yoko agreed, trying to coax the man that everything will be alright, yet he remained defiant. 

Dark Schneider’s eyes narrowed when the idiot slapped his queen’s shaky hand, causing her to drop the forceps and the worm to fall onto the ground. Led Zeppelin gobbled up the little bugger so it wouldn’t go to waste, and [First Name] had the patient pinned down by the throat.

 She needed to stop, now. 

He pushed past the crowd, walking right behind Shinobu and carefully removing her hand from the bastard, pressing his chest against her back for a moment before he scooped her up in his arms. 

“And you’re done! Hey asshole,” He glowered at the sniveling rat. “Show a little more compassion that it was my queen treating you second-rate servants and not me, or you’d be dead already. Actually,” The wizard turned to Yoko. “Let them  die if they keep acting like this. The casting department should have more than enough money left in the budget to hire more actors for this season.”

Yoko shook her head, the corners of her mouth tugging into a small smile before someone else, one of the civilians, came forward and offered to take over. The high priestess nodded, with Led Zeppelin reluctantly staying behind as Dark Schneider walked away with [First Name]. 

“Thank you, Darsh. Although if my memory serves me correctly, I did not say that I am your queen.” The Insect Hashira said, looking up at him with an inquisitive frown. 

“So you’re telling me there’s still a chance.” Dark Schenider responded with a grin.He watched in amusement as she just stared at him, wide-eyed before she sighed,  closing them as she shook her head at him fondly. “You haven’t changed a bit. Still…I’m glad you and Lucien are all right.” 

“Why wouldn’t we?”

“The last battle did take a toll on you, the both of you, Darsh, and if I-” 

“That wasn’t your fault.” 

“But -”

“You weren’t the one who summoned the Demon Mail and used it to attack Princess Sheila or me. That was Abigail. You did what you had to do to ensure everyone had a chance to survive. What happened to Meta-llicana was not your fault, so don’t you dare say it is or so help me I will drop you right now.” He hissed, halting in his trek to look down at her. “Do you understand?” [First Name] didn’t respond, instead she just blinked rapidly at him, face frozen with shock from the words he said before he scoffed, turning his attention to their surroundings. 

It’s not exactly an ideal place to rest, but this area wasn’t too far from the others and didn’t have as much debris lying around. Using his magic, Dark Schneider levitated and transformed  two of the largest rocks into a pillow and a small mattress. He remembered [First Name] referring to them as a ‘futon’. He remembered her telling him, as Lucien, the difference between a four poster bed and what she had been used to sleeping back in her old world. This was the closest thing he could create from how she described them

His queen was…well, she was in awe of his greatness. Her hands clenched, fisting and pulling on the fabric of his shirt before he set her down. Well, actually he kept her in his arms as he kneeled down and tucked her under the duvet. “There. All cozy, isn’t it?” He smirked, resting his chin with one hand as he laid on top of the futon while the other stroked the top of her head. 

Laying on his side next to her, the wizard smiled as he saw [Eye Color] irises fluttering beneath his touch, trying to fight off the exhaustion when it was already a losing battle for [First Name]. Then all of a sudden, she sat up from the futon and he felt something warm and soft press against his cheek. Her lips. She just kissed him. Willingly. Holy fuck. 

[First Name] smiled sleepily. “Thank you…Darsh.” Her serene voice muddled down to a soft, drowsy murmur before she laid flat on her back under the futon, her eyes closing. Five minutes later, her breathing slowed to soft inhaling and exhaling through the mouth. All Dark Schneider could do was stare down at her with a wide, goofy grin and pink cheeks while the dog ears on top of his head wiggled. 

[First Name] loves me. She loves us, Lucien! He exclaimed in his mind, the bushy tail behind him wagging in excitement. If everything goes well, we might even hit third base before the second season is over! When all he heard was a disapproving silence in the background, Dark Schneider chuckled weakly, continuing to pet [First Name]’s head gently. Okay, okay, maybe that’s a little too soon, but c’mon, not even a kiss for the handsome hero who busted his ass to save this show from being canceled forever? We gotta give these viewers something!

[Next will be season 2’s famous bath scene 😉 who wants to get tagged?]

Taglist:

@sleep-all-day-everyday

@theanimekid

@saltyfruitbat

@ccruzmoon

@cassanderasblog

@technikerin23

@justamegafan

@harame

@mitra555

@nunezs-stuff

@xoxo-shy

@currentlyinhell

@swallowtailcherry

[forbidden-sunlight]

Who would like to be tagged for the fluffy headcanon version of this fic and other future Bastard!! Heavy Metal, Dark Fantasy projects?

The fluff version will be posted on my other blog, @an-idyllic-novelist

[haloshornsinkstains]

Still Wanting More [Darsh x Reader]

Dark Schneider x Reader

Because I am gutted that no one seems to be as horny for this dumbass of a man as me.

Warnings: NSFW 18+, cockwarming, Darsh is an arrogant dumbass

“Sit still, this was your idea.” The soft voice rumbled in your ear, one large hand squeezing your thigh. You whimpered, trying not to squirm at the feel of his hand massaging your skin, all while he was seated deep inside you. Filling you. “It was a terrible idea.”  Darsh laughed, the ripple of his laughter jostling his cock inside you and bringing a moan to your lips. You clenched down around him in response, he moaned and gripped your thigh a little harder. “You really want me that much gorgeous? Can’t stay still while I’m inside you hmm?” He hummed, lips pressing to your shoulder. “Not that I can blame you, I am the handsome young hero here.” You huffed, leaning back against him to kiss him gently on the cheek. The movement shifted him inside you, causing a groan to slip out of his lips as your walls clenched around him. You hummed, amused, and tilted your head back to look at him. “Mhm, you are. And I already admitted this was a terrible idea,” you mused, “maybe we could-” “You know what I want you to say.” You pouted back at him, but Darsh just smirked down at you. Fluttering your eyelashes at him you put on your best pleading expression, clenching around him just for good measure. “Please Darsh, I need you. I want the most handsome, powerful sorcerer in all Metallicana-” You didn’t get to finish as Darsh practically threw you down on the bed, still inside you as you were pushed faced down into the sheets. You didn’t know how he managed it, but you weren’t complaining, not when he was grinding down into you. Whimpering you rocked your hips back into him, urging him to move properly. “Impatient hmm? You want me that badly love?” He thrust hard into you, chuckling as you moaned loudly into the sheets. “I knew you were the one for me.” You couldn’t answer, too overwhelmed with the pleasure of his massive cock thrusting in and out of you, the sound of his groans and praise echoing through your mind. 

[theanimekid]

Who said I was jealous?!

Dark Schneider x G/N Reader

Synopsis: Dark Schneider is a man of many things: An asshole, bastard, pervert, idiot, the list goes on. But what about jealousy? Never...somewhat?

warnings💢😍♥️: angst and fluffiness, slight smut ahead but who knows

A/N: First Bastard Fanfiction, let's do this!

If there is one word to describe him. It would've been an asshole.

You have just come back from a tiring long hunt for a demon who'd threatened to tear down the Kingdom of Metallica (or whatever it was.) Your body was aching, worn out, and your eardrums were ready to shut themselves completely over a particular wizard who wouldn't stop rambling about how strong he is, or how handsome that no woman would ever resist his charms. Except you, of course.

" As I was saying, I could have handled that demon by myself," Schenider snarked at Yoko as you were unpacking your weapons and asking one of the knights who send them to a blacksmith in town. "As you meant by 'handling,' you mean almost having your ass handed to you if it weren't for me saving you." You added teasingly, before you spun around in place and walked to him, arms crossed with a smirk on your face.

The wizard scoffed and turned his head, looking away from your gaze. He could hear Yoko giggling in the background with Shelia. 

The doors burst open by one of the old priests, " Lady y/n, there is someone there to see you." He spoke formally.

"Look, priest. I'm not in the best conditions to talk to anyone right-," before you could finish your sentence, a young man appeared from behind the old priest was a young man who was about the same height as he was. Younger than the priest, brown hair, green emerald eyes, muscular form, with very toned skin, and an apron. Which is covered with burnt coal, "Heeyyy, pipsqueak ya miss me?" He spoke in a manly voice. 

You gasped, " M/n, you son of a bitch!" you cursed happily, as you ran to him with open arms. You Both laughed as M/n spun you around in the air.

The dark wizard turned his head to you in some guy's arms and laughed together?!

M/n stopped spinning and placed you back onto your feet. " It's been too long kid how you've been? Working in as a knight in the kingdom." He asked as he stretched his arms in the air, " Tiring but still hanging about, and to you my favorite blacksmith and best friend?" You smiled.

As you and your best friend caught up for lost times. The WIzard stood against the wall, with a not very pleased expression on his face, his blue eyes stared down at you and your little best friend.

Who the hell does he think he is, talking to his y/n?!

" Who the hell is this guy?," The handsome wizard asked with the same not-pleased look on his face as he walked in between the two of you.

You sighed, " Schneider this is my old pal, and greatest blacksmith in my book, M/n." " M/n, I believe you know-"

" The Dark Wizard himself, A pleasure to finally meet you," he added while reaching his hand to shake. Schneider only stared him down and turned to you again. You groaned as you tilted your head behind his manly stature, " please forgive him, he acts like an asshole at times," you said calmly with a small smile on your face.

"Noted," M/n said lowering his hand to his side. " Well, y/n if you're in need of repairs to your weapons you know where to find me". He spoke before heading towards the doors and walking out.

You faced the wizard with annoyance in your eyes. " Might explaining to me on what-" He picked you up and marched to your room, along with protests coming from your mouth. He opened the door and slammed it behind him with his foot, dropping you onto the large mattress and making you bounce on impact. "What the hell is wrong with you, Darsh?" You shouted.

" I should be asking you the same thing, Y/n." He spoke. Arms crossed and back leaning against the door. " Why the hell are talking to someone like him?!"

Someone Like Him?

"I haven't seen M/n since my childhood years. When I saw him walk behind him it felt like years passed in front of my eyes, also he was just a friend."

His eyes widened, " A friend you say? well, friends don't just run into each other's arms and get all giddy-giddy with each other."

The tone of his voice felt annoyed like he was trying to hide something from them.

You chuckled as you stood off from the bed, " What's so funny?" He asked.

You sighed as you stood toe-to-toe with the handsome hero, " You're jealous aren't you?"

He went silent for a moment, then he tilted his head " I'm sorry could you repeat those words again?"

You bust out giggling, " I can't believe this, the infamous wizard Dark Schneider is jealous over a blacksmith."

He felt his whole ego pop, he could feel his face warming up, He scoffed and turned away from you facing the door, " I'm not j-jealous, Who said I'd am?" he stuttered. Which is very rare since he is bound to a child. You could've sworn you saw his little puppy ears out of his head.

"Awwww, is the little puppy wuppy afraid I won't give him any attention?" You cooed as you raised your hand to pet him. He smacked it away in an instant. His face was still tinted pink as he buried himself in your chest.

I'm Not Jealous! Just-just that the fact that you give more attention than you do to me", he muffled.

You couldn't stop laughing as he carried you to the bed once more and lay on top of you." *sigh* what will I do with I wonder, you thought as you combed your fingers through his long white hair. " alright How about this, you stop acting like an asshole, and maybe, just maybe, We'll get some alone time got it, puppy?" You requested. He raised his head out of your chest and thought for a moment. " Fine on one condition".

"What is that my darling?"

" Don't use that puppy name in public, Or else- Or else you pay for that". He demanded.

"It's a deal then, puppy."

A/N: First Bastard x Reader insert I wonder How many notes I get from this?😃😄

[jellalism]

[finds out that a character i like only has two character x reader fics out there] i have to do everything myself around here

[missmeinyourbones]

TO LOVE IS TO COMPROMISE (TOUYA X READER) (WC: 1.1k)

part 3 of the series: to love is to...

“It is a kind of love, is it not?

How the cup holds the tea,

How the chair stands sturdy and foursquare”

- The Patience of Ordinary Things, Pat Schneider

Touya is beginning to think that life isn’t made up of the ground crumbling moments—the ones that leave him writhing and thrashing in the middle of the night. The ones that suffocate him to think about, leaving his chest wrung out like a damp towel. 

He thinks it’s more so the small moments, the ones that leave him breathless with their confidentiality and closeness, that mean more to him than whatever horrors happened in the past. 

Living with you comes with a lot of normalcy—tiny, intimate moments that are easy to over look. Things you don’t really think about when imaging a future with someone. Taking turns washing and drying dishes, remembering to turn the lights off when leaving the house, bickering over what to watch on television.

Touya can’t remember the last time he watched an episode of television. A part of him feels like he shouldn’t be sitting parallel to you on your worn-down sofa, allowing himself something as silly and sweet as indulging in a false reality for thirty minutes plus commercial breaks.

“What do you wanna watch?” you call to him as you settle down on the opposite end of the tiny futon. You mindlessly pick away at the loose strings from the seams of the armrest, like a cat shredding curtains or a blanket. 

Touya’s head is thrown back onto the headboard of the couch. He makes no move to let his eyes stray from the ceiling—maybe he’s counting the groves in the spackle as punishment. To atone for his sins with boredom, denying himself the pleasure of a casual intimacy.

He drawls, tone blasé, “Don’t care, just put somethin’ on.” 

Paying his disinterested comment no mind, you channel surf for a bit, passing countless amounts of thirty minute segments. Some reality show following teenage pregnancy, a dating competition consisting of contestants with funny accents, a sit-com of a hectic family with an unbelievable amount of children.

Eventually, you land on some re-run of a game show, one with fill in the blank letters and contestants asking to buy vowels.

It takes Touya about three seconds to register the sound of the buzzer and the nasally voice of the show’s host for his head to be jolting upwards.

“Not that.”

You snort at his quick response, impressed with how quickly his nonchalant attitude seemed to change with a simple show.

“But you said—”

“Gimme that,” he grumbles, snatching the remote from your hands with a quick swipe of his arm. 

He doesn't spare a glance at your disgruntled reaction, far too focused on getting the brightly colored gameshow set off of the television screen. He simply ignores you, continuing to scan the television guide and surf the channels for something more his taste. 

“Mean,” he hears you mumble out from behind your pout before further sulking into the couch cushion, arms crossed and brow furrowed. He knows that your feelings aren’t actually hurt, that it’s merely a faux statement of mild irritation, but he still tsks as he crawls his way over to you. 

“Only for you,” he teases as he plants himself over your lap, his head resting on your chest as his legs sprawl out over the rest of the sofa. You naturally open your arms for him, letting him get comfortable in your hold as the two of you settle into the newfound position. 

Touya eventually decides on some silly horror movie from the 80′s, one where the protagonist is babysitting and the killer somehow knows her whereabouts at all times. The shitty acting and choppy cinematography makes you laugh underneath your breath a few times, but manages to do an alright job of keeping your attention.

Your fingers find themselves mindlessly running through the white tuffs of Touya’s hair. It’s a lot softer now, without all of the shitty dark box-dye—it smells a lot nicer too, now that he washes it regularly and uses your (rather expensive) lavender shampoo. 

Time passes between your intertwined limbs and head rubs. More than half of the movie is over when you’re brought back to reality with a strong urge to stretch your legs out. 

With a quick glance over of the screen, you gather that movie must be nearing its end, based on the high pitched violins increasing and the protagonist’s monologue going on for over a minute now. 

Touya had closed his eyes a long time ago—around twenty minutes into the film being turned on—as he laid on top of you with evened breaths and fluttering eyelids. 

You knew he was asleep, and you wanted to let him rest—it was rare for him to sleep through the night these days. You wanted him to relax in your hold, to know that it’s okay that he lounges, that he takes care of himself. 

You sigh, finally bored with the movie as you quietly pick up the remote control that sits between Touya and the edge of the couch. You cruise through a few channels before landing on some children’s baking show. Entertained by the change of pace, you watch their tiny hands mix batter and roll out fondant for about thirty seconds before you feel a gritty complaint vibrate from your chest.

“I was watchin’ that,” Touya growls from where his head rests, voice far too rough with exhaustion for someone who was supposedly awake and following along with the plot of a film. 

“With your eyes closed?” you entertain his childish quip, hands returning to his hair. 

He moans out a gruff mhm, before grabbing the remote from where it balances on your leg and putting the movie back on—all without as much as lifting his head from the warmth of your torso. 

You remove your hand from his hair to flick his forehead with a rough snap.

“You’re annoying,” you grumpily conclude. 

“You like me that way,” he’s quick to return, grabbing the hand that just flicked him and pressing a gentle sloppy peck to the heel of your palm. 

“Guess I do,” you grumble back, feeling Touya chuckle at your measly defeat.

There has to be maybe ten minutes left of the film now, as the killer had presumably died in the final battle, but alas, the police report that no body was found. 

You feel Touya’s sighs start to become deeper again, more relaxed as the film wraps up. You scoff and readjust yourself to look down at him—eyes closed once more with a slight smirk spread across his face. 

“Next time,” you pat his shoulder, rubbing a few circles on the calloused skin as you continue, “I get to pick the movie and fall asleep on you.”

Your boyfriend’s response pleasantly surprises you. 

“Deal.”

[lokidokieokie]

Knight in a Sentient Cloak

Request from Wattpad: The reader is a SHIELD agent, but relatively new. On one of the Avengers (and Stephens) missions, some agents are called in to help. You, wanting to prove yourself and being very competitive, follow. You end up being a ton of help, but once the battle is over the leader of your division starts yelling at you in front of everyone in the middle of the field. You make some smart remarks, but that just makes them angrier. They bring a hand up to slap you, but someone STRANGE stops them. 

Pairing: Stephen Strange x Agent!Reader

Warning(s): language, typical canon-type violence, screaming, yelling, power abuse (don’t know what to call it), workplace disagreements, Stephen being a hero, kinda got turned into a misogynistic situation...oh well. 

Lemme know if I missed any :)

Normally, you were never called in. You were a newbie at SHIELD, so your superior thought it would be better for you to wait on the sidelines and watch ‘the big boys’ play. 

And you hated it.

You had proved to everyone at the academy that you had what it takes to be an agent--had what it takes to help protect the world. But noooo! Your team leader--being the righteous fucker he is--thought that the newbie had to practice and watch from the sidelines because she was a dainty, little woman. 

So, when your group was called in as backup for the big leagues--for the Avengers--you were over the moon to prove the self-righteous bastard wrong. 

That’s how you found yourself here. In a meeting room, sitting beside Dr. Strange, listening to the debrief about some head of Hydra and how you were to defeat him. 

“-That’s when back-up comes in.”

The Captain himself pointed in your direction; “While we focus on Schneider, you guys are to go in and take out any Hydra members. Try to only disarm and stun; some of those Hydra agents could be useful.”

You nod enthusiastically; any mission with the Avengers is good experience in your opinion--no matter how little of a role you may play. 

“If you manage to clear your area, find your closest Avenger and assist them in whatever they’re doing. Our main goal is to acquire Schneider and his technology.”

The Captain smiled, “That’s it for today’s debrief. See you all at the hanger at 0700 hours.”

With that dismissal, everyone exited the room. 

“L/n, a minute of your precious time.” 

You tensed at the voice but nodded your head nonetheless. Turning towards John, your team leader, you awaited for his lecture. 

“You are not to go on this mission, do you understand?” 

Your jaw dropped. “What? Our team has been specifically chosen to work with the Avengers, I am a member of that team.” 

He scoffed, “You’re a woman, what role do you have on my team?”

You silently seethed. How dare he talk to you that way?

“If I see you anywhere near that hanger tomorrow morning, your pathetic career at SHIELD is over. Am I clear?” 

You ground your teeth, choosing to rather endure the pain than risk destroying your career. 

All you did was reluctantly nod your head. 

John smiled, “Such a good girl.” Then he left. 

How you hadn’t killed him yet was a mystery to you...but if he didn’t fix his shit soon, he was going to be meeting an early grave. 

~~~

0700 Hours

You technically weren’t meant to be here. You were explicitly going against your superior’s orders, but at this point, you didn’t give a shit. 

Sneaking past John was probably the easiest thing you had ever done. His toupée-covered head too engrossed in the busty woman loading the equipment to even notice you. 

Rolling your eyes, you made your way over to Cap. “Agent L/n reporting for duty, Sir.”

He smiled, “Thanks for your help, Agent L/n. Make your way into the quinjet and we’ll depart shortly.”

Nodding you head, you made your way inside and moved towards a dark corner. You were not risking getting caught by John. You were going to fight this battle, and you were going to help. He was not going to stop you. 

~~~

You managed to hide throughout the entire 3-hour trip; only whatever higher being is out there knows how. 

“Alright, team. You know your positions; good luck.” 

Stepping out of the quinjet gave you an adrenaline rush. You were ready for this. 

The first hydra agent you saw brought a smile to your face. You were going to prove idiotic John wrong. A punch to the nose was all that hydra agent needed to crumble. 

Rolling your eyes, you made a move for the next one. At least this one seemed somewhat competent. Fists met fists and kicks met kicks; but you eventually brought that one down.

A scream made your eyes scan the area. Of course it was John. Running towards him, you jumped on the back of the hydra agent and slammed them into the ground. 

Turning to face John you huffed, “Instead of screaming like a little girl, how about fucking attacking the enemy!”

Leaving--a probably fuming--John, you ran back onto the battlefield. Pulling your knife from the sheath on your leg, you ran towards another. You dodged all of the enemy agent’s punched and deflected their other attacks towards their fellow teammates. 

“I thought Hydra agents were meant to be perfect soldiers?” Stabbing this one in the leg, you move onto another. 

And the pattern continued until you were panting and the Captain called the all-clear. 

You placed your hands on your knees and took a few deep breaths. You just did that--you helped the Avengers defeat a head of Hydra. A smile graced your lips at the thought. 

...but your little moment didn’t last for long. 

“L/N!” You cringed, looks like John wasn’t very happy with you. 

You turned to face him with a sweet smile on your face, “Yes, sir?” 

“What the fuck were you thinking?” 

You rolled your eyes, “I was thinking that I could actually help fix the issue that you couldn’t even hope to control.” 

That just seemed to make John angrier. “You disobeyed a direct order from your superior. I told you not to participate in this mission. Could your unintelligent feminine brain not comprehend a basic set of instructions?”

You took a deep breath. Assaulting your superior goes against SHIELD protocol. Assaulting your superior goes against SHIELD protocol. 

Instead, you continued to sweetly smile. “My feminine brain understands your orders just fine. I just chose to go against your idiotic one.” 

His face was a vibrant red at this point; if you weren’t currently risking your job, you might’ve laughed at him. 

“You dare to insult your superior? I’ll have your head for this you stupid bitch!”

You began to close your eyes as his hand raised to strike your cheek; but you slowly opened them when no contact was ever made. 

“You dare try to lay your hand on her?” 

You knew that baritone voice. Turning your head, you took in the sight in front of you. The Doctor Strange was holding John’s hand centimetres away from your cheek.

Quickly moving your eyes over to John, you noticed him gulp. Ohhhhh, this was going to be fun. 

Strange pushed John away from you. His eyes emanating anger and disgust. 

“You are meant to be her superior; someone that helps her understand the roles and values that are vital to an agent. Not belittle her for doing what she is trained to do.”

John gulped again--so much for upholding a masculine attitude. 

“Doctor Strange, s-sir. She admitted to disregarding a direct order. She needs to be punished.”

Strange laughed, “From the sounds of it, you told her not to join a mission that she was specifically asked to be on. We didn’t want your pathetic assistance on this mission; we wanted her.”

John’s jaw dropped, “What?” 

Strange pushed a finger into John’s chest, “Your stats in previous missions were pitiful compared to hers. She completed everything within a three minute timeframe; whereas your pathetic ass couldn’t even complete it in ten.” 

You were gobsmacked; the Avengers had noticed your hard work? All that effort you had put into performing to your best ability actually paid off?

“Apologise.” 

You shook your head, finally joining back in the conversation. 

“Pardon?” John gasped. 

“Apologise to Agent L/n.” 

John gave him a look of disgust. “I will not apologise to a woman.” 

Strange laughed, “Guess you’ll be the one reported then.”

With that, Strange opened a portal below John’s feet and dropped him. You were speechless, as was everyone else. 

Strange wiped his hands on his clothes and turned to the rest of the group, “What are you all looking at?” 

Everyone not wanting to get on the sorcerer’s bad side decided to get back to what they were doing. However, you cleared your throat to gain his attention. 

He turned to you, with a soft smile on his face. “Yes, Agent L/n?”

Your cheeks flushed under his gaze, “Thank you.” 

“It was my pleasure, Agent L/n.” 

You smiled, “Y/n.” 

Strange’s face turned to confusion, “What?”

“Call me Y/n.” 

He smiled, “See you around, Y/n.”

Oh, you definitely would be seeing him around. 

If you’re curious about my other works you can find my masterlist here!

If you want to request, please click here!

If you would like to request using a prompt/s, click here!

Taglist!

@thewaithfuckingannoyme

[stellar-skyy]

INFO & RULES - ♡

i. asks/interactions are always welcome! i love talking to people, so don't be afraid to send a message :D that being said, do not send nsfw asks (i am still a minor), and please be polite. ii. please be patient! i have adhd and get burnt out easily, meaning requests can take me anywhere between hours and months. i will do my best to get it done in a timely manner, but i cannot guarantee anything. iii. don't offer unasked-for criticism, constructive or otherwise. i write for fun, and i don't care if you think it's helpful. unless i am explicitly asking for it, just don't. on that note, if you think my writing is terrible or ooc either scroll past or block me. any hateful messages or asks will be deleted. iv. please don't ask to be mutuals! i follow selectively, so it makes me feel kinda awkward. v. do not interact if you are: a minor who creates/interacts with NSFW content. under 13 or over 35. basic dni criteria. a mdni/fully nsfw blog. someone who does not respect boundaries. (this post may be updated in the future!)

REGARDING REQUESTS...

i. topics that i won't do are: smut/nsfw/anything suggestive. dark content, including yandere. pregnancy. cheating. ii. at this point in time, i write for gn!reader only. do not request fem/masc reader. iii. all requests with child/child-like characters (or any characters i see as younger than 18) are platonic only. iv. please specify if you want your request to be platonic or romantic! i am more comfortable writing platonic x readers, but i'm alright with either. v. i have the right to reject or delete any request that makes me uncomfortable or i am uninterested in.

CHARACTERS I WILL WRITE FOR:

(italicized and bolded characters are platonic only!) GENSHIN: Alhaitham, Arataki Itto, Arlecchino, Bennett, Chiori, Collei, Columbina, Cyno, Faruzan, Fischl, Freminet, Furina, Gorou, Hu Tao, Kaveh, Kaedehara Kazuha, Kujou Sara, Layla, Lynette, Lyney, Neuvillette, Nilou, Qiqi, Sangonomiya Kokomi, Shikanoin Heizou, Tartaglia, Tighnari, Venti, Wanderer/Scaramouche, Xingqiu, Yoimiya, Zhongli HONKAI STAR RAIL: Arlan, Asta, Aventurine, Blade, Clara, Dan Heng (including Imbibitor Lunae), Herta, Himeko, Kafka, March 7th, Natasha, Sampo, Silver Wolf, Tingyun, Welt, Yanqing. REVERSE 1999: (disclaimer! i am currently not writing for reverse 1999.) An-An Lee, Centurion, Click, Druvis iii, Horrorpedia, John Titor, Lilya, Medicine Pocket, Melania, Pavia, Poltergeist, Regulus, Schneider, Sonnetto, Sotheby, Tooth Fairy, Зима. BUNGOU STRAY DOGS: (disclaimer! i am currently not writing for bungou stray dogs.) Akutagawa Gin, Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, Dazai Osamu, Edgar Allen Poe, Edogawa Ranpo, Fukuzawa Yukichi, Izumi Kyouka, Kunikida Doppo, Lucy Maud Montgomery, Miyazawa Kenji, Nakahara Chuuya, Nakajima Atsushi, Nikolai Gogol, Ozaki Kouyou, Sigma, Suehiro Tecchou, Tachihara Michizou, Yosano Akiko, Yumeno Kyuusaku. STARDEW VALLEY: Abigail, Elliott, Leah, Sam.

[davidblakephotoblog]

Photography book report 2

Gary Schneider, Genetic Self-portrait

Gary Schneider was born in East London and currently lives and works In New York. He graduated from Michaelis School of Fine art in South Africa and earned his MFA from “Pratt Institute, Brooklyn, New York”.

In Schneider’s book “Genetic Self-portrait”, it starts out with a, introduction by Ann Thomas, a curator of photographs in the National Gallery of Canada, Ottawa. She explains the artists vision and reasons behind his work and why he chose to do what he did. Then the books transfer from writing to the artist’s work, depicting x-rays and microscopic close ups of the artist’s own body, featuring cells, teeth, hair, and other parts with no captions, so the reader can interpret the work into their own ideas. The book then switches over to the same pictures that were shown, but smaller and with captions to explain the artists ideas and the images details, such as what the object is, who prepared it and the size of the original object.

              The photography in this book has a pattern of the same visual design. They are black and white photos that are taken close of different body parts that can only be seen in a living person through a machine. This was Schneider’s intent when he created this collection, showing what is behind a person, that we are made of more than what people blatantly see, showing the “instruction book for the human being”.

              Looking at Schneider’s other works and collections, it seems to mostly follow the same theme of focusing on the human body, either it be regular portraits, or focusing on a certain subject. He does stray away of this subject with a few of his collections, such as his collection on “Botanicals”. There is a reoccurring theme throughout his entire body of work, as he usually sticks to an aesthetic of dark and/or dirty subjects. His photographs are usually either black and white, or the people he takes pictures of look like they have car grease, or dirt put on them, making the composition fit a dark theme.

              I personally found the book to be interesting, as I have always had an interest looking at the visual composition of x-rays. I also enjoy this book, as it strays from the norm of what most photographers pay attention to and work on. I personally would like to go to a hospital and get x-rays of myself done and use it for inspiration and study.

[apocalypticgargoyle]

𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐎𝐔𝐓 𝐑𝐎𝐎𝐌 𝟒. ♡ 𝐠𝐞𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐝

"Hi! I hope u have a lovely day :] I was wondering if I could request an imagine where you're online friends with Gogy and one day you send him a picture wearing his merch and he can't stop thinking about it and finally ends up telling you he has a crush on you?? Thank you in advance :] I really enjoy your writing"

pairing: georgenotfound x reader

warnings: Zoom Video Communications none :)

links: | ao3 | request | masterlist |

⋆ song recommendation: Slowly by Josh Gilligan

(streamer bf gogy brainrot brrr) hello sweet anon! thank you for much for this request :) I love love love all the geo simps and their ideas. also thank you to my dearest LB for helping me with the plot help. happy reading, everyone! ♡ ᵍᵉⁿᵉ

You tapped your fingers on your desk, nails clattering at you waiting to be let into your third Zoom meeting of the day. Usually, you got off with only one lecture, but because of upcoming exams, you were finding yourself in and out of virtual meetings and office hours. Sure, it was better than jogging from building to building, fighting the crowds, and searching for a seat in a packed lecture hall, but it was still wearing you down beyond belief.

You rested your chin in your hand as your window went from white to dark grey, the square with your name getting wedged in beside the professor. Everyone’s cameras were off, a thankful sigh leaving your lips as your head slumped down to lay against your arm, the danger of falling asleep suddenly becoming more prominent.

You jumped slightly as your professor cleared their throat, sharing their screen and beginning to ramble off facts listed on the slideshow. You played with your keyboard, focused on removing a crumb from beneath your spacebar that was almost unreachable. You usually took notes in the class, but today was just one of those days.

“... And with that in mind, I’m going to put you all into breakout rooms…” Your professor trailed off, eyebrows furrowed as they peered at their screen and clicked frantically to assign all of you to rooms. You yawned, smacking your cheeks and sitting up. You were determined not to be a shitty partner, at least. The white box popped up, inviting you to join breakout room four. That’s always lucky, you thought to yourself as you joined.

Once again, you were cursed to look at the buffering wheel of death as your internet struggled to sustain all your opened tabs. Please, just a little longer, you groaned internally, eyes dashing towards the receiver and exhaling in relief as your computer connected to the breakout room. You turned on your camera, eliciting your partner, George, to do the same.

You flashed him a smile as you struggled to open the article from the previous night. “Hi! How’s it going?” You greeted, not yet looking at him.

“I’m good, actually. How are you?” He engaged, his voice deep and tired.

You finally managed to split your screen enough so that you could see him and the article. “Yeah, I’m good too. Thanks,” you chewed the inside of your cheek, eyes skimming some of the notes you’d etched into the margins. “So, did you have any idea what,” you paused, squinting at the author’s name, “Robert A. Schneider means when he discusses how ‘men of letters’ fear the lower class more than anything?” You asked, as your eyes trailed across your screen to finally gauge his reaction, you were taken aback by his appearance.

His soft features and dark eyes made you feel safe. As he smiled softly, running his fingers into his hair, he seemed to be racking his brain for an answer. He opened his mouth to begin, detailing what you had previously thought with better articulation.

The two of you got through the basic questions the professor had scripted for the students, then finding yourself still stuck in the breakout room. On a normal day, your professor would have pulled everyone back into the call after the first few questions.

George swiveled in his chair quietly as he listened to you briefly explain your area of study. His kind smile made your heart flutter slightly. Deep down, you hoped the two of you would be stuck in the room for a while.

Soon your topics blended into what kind of movies you both watched, a debate on where you could buy the cheapest bread on campus, and what kind of party people the two of you were. After an hour, instead of worrying whether or not your professor was dead, you were swapping numbers and planning out how the two of you would turn the Florida Keys into the headquarters of your new cult where the members would all worship a separate bitchy philosopher.

You pulled one of your legs to your chest, resting your cheek against your knee as his laughing died out. “Okay, this might be a weird question, but I need to know why your webcam is so clear. Is it like an OnlyFans thing or…”

He chuckled. “Yeah it’s definitely OnlyFans,” he joked, making you laugh. “I’m actually a ᵐⁱⁿᵉᶜʳᵃᶠᵗ ˢᵗʳᵉᵃᵐᵉʳ” he mumbled.

Your eyebrows perked playfully. “You’re a what?”

He pursed his lips to fit the grin stretching across his face. “ᵃ ᵐⁱⁿᵉᶜʳᵃᶠᵗ ˢᵗʳᵉᵃᵐᵉʳ”

You snorted slightly. “Sorry darling, you’ll have to speak up. What was that?”

He wet his lips, rolling his eyes as he bashfully groaned. “I’m a Minecraft streamer.”

You giggled, him basking in your disbelief. He smiled a bit brighter as he shrugged, leaning back in his chair as you rambled off questions. “There’s no way! Nerd!” you chaffed, making him smile as if he liked it when you playfully teased him. “Are you super popular?” You asked, catching your breath.

He bit his bottom lip swaying his head slightly as if deciding not to answer. “Mmmm. Not really.”

“Well, come on, Georgios! Give me your Twitch user and I’ll be your biggest fan, I promise.” He laughed at your response, digging out his phone to send you a link.

“I’d like to see you try,” he mumbled.

After the class had finally ended, you’d learned that your professor was on the phone with their credit card company. In the following weeks, you and George were in constant contact, even becoming part of each other’s daily routines.

As you studied for finals, you’d turn on his stream, letting his voice alleviate some of the stress of your exams. He knew you were watching and would even drop hints for you in what he was saying, or he’d blatantly just ask what you were talking about in your essay for a certain class. After the stream would end, he’d call you either on Discord or the phone, just so it felt like the two of you were studying together.

Jokingly, you badgered him to send you some of his merch, threatening to buy it from a bootleg online store if he didn’t. He had only brushed it off at the time, but shortly after, you received a hoodie in the mail with his gamer tag printed across it.

It was late at night when you’d received it, the tiredness of your eyes and George’s dulcet tones lulling you towards the idea of a dead sleep. Yet, you were drawn from your pleasant relaxation with the shrilling of your doorbell. You shrugged out of your blanket cocoon, grabbing your phone and trudging down the stairs. As you tore open the bag, your phone buzzed with a text from George asking if you’d seen something that one of his chat members. You chuckled softly and dug your hand into the material, holding it out in front of you.

You snickered to yourself, running your fingers across the red patch in the center. You slipped it over your head, letting the softness of the fabric brush against your skin. You snapped a photo of yourself and stumbled back upstairs before sending it to him.

When you returned, George was focused on something he was crafting. His eyes darted down to one corner of the screen where his phone was probably sitting. His eyes flashed back up with a smug grin on his face as if he knew exactly what you were going to say. Your “Thanks sugar daddy xx,” probably didn’t help either.

“What, chat?” His voice came out slightly uneven as he bit back a smile. You skimmed what people were asking. “It’s not a nude. A friend of mine got something I sent them,” he answered nonchalantly, finishing up what he was doing. The chat began to spam quietly. “No, it’s not a maid costume. Jesus Christ.” He leaned back in his chair, grabbing his phone and opening your message.

A grin spread across his face, alongside the light dusting of rosy pigment settling in his cheeks. He chuckled to himself, quickly replying before getting back to his game. You scoffed at his response.

George (H325) Anything for my silly little baka

You curled up again, putting away your schoolwork and devoting your attention to watching his stream as you drifted off to sleep.

Once again, you found yourself at the mercy of your internet as you attempted to join the breakout room assigned to you. You almost jumped out of your chair when it finally connected and you found George waiting for you. You smiled slightly as he scrolled through his phone. “What are the chances?” You asked, pulling his eyes to you.

He grinned, clicking off whatever he was looking at. “I was just about to raid your inbox.”

You chuckled. “I almost wore your merch to class, just to out you to whoever my partner was,” you joked, making him roll his eyes.

“I’m glad it’s me then,” he responded. You began scrounging around for your article. After a beat of hesitation, George spoke up again. “Hey, I’m glad you like the sweatshirt…” You perked an eyebrow in his direction. “I actually haven’t been able to get that picture out of my head. I know it’s stupid,” he stated lightly, chuckling nervously. You could feel your heart beating in your ears. “It’s so lame, but I think I have a crush on you.”

You sat back in your chair, stunned. “I mean, the feeling’s mutual. Even if it’s lame,” you mirrored, winking at him. “I mean, maybe it’s not lame because I know I like you.”

He smiled to himself at your answer before chuckling, “Should we Zoom date or something?”

[an-idyllic-novelist]

Dark Schneider with shinobu!reader scenario

Can be seeing a sequel to these headcanons here or as a separate piece.

Shinobu!reader has just finished doing rounds around the castle, checking on patients and speaking to Yoko about the plan to travel to the fallen elven airship, King Crimson Glory, before being snatched away by Dark Schneider moments after she had done finished speaking to Joshua.

Shinobu!reader: Ara, ara, you’re the most jealous man I know.

Dark Schneider stops walking before he looks down at Shinobu!reader with narrowed dark eyes, followed by a pair of puppy dog ears and a bushy tail appearing from out of thin air.

Dark Schneider: You know other men?!?

Shinobu!reader’s smile becomes tense, angered and ready to punch the stupid man in the back of the head.

Taglist:

@cassanderasblog

@justamegafan

@nunezs-stuff

@enryegotrip

@ccruzmoon

@saltyfruitbat

@swallowtailcherry

[mothandpidgeon]

Helter Skelter (cult leader!Ezra) - Chapter 3

MASTERLIST

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2

Pairing: cult leader!Ezra x f reader, dark!Ezra x f reader

Series summary: When you meet a mysterious thinker named Ezra, you join up with his followers and become a part of their family. Your new life is full of psychedelics, sex, and mind bending experiences. But there’s something dark lurking in Ezra’s philosophy. Will you discover it before it’s too late?

Words: ~3k

Rating: E 18+!

Warnings: dark!Ezra, elements of dubcon (this is a cult so there is psychological manipulation), cults (obviously), mentions of cannabis, drug use, sex under the influence, oral sex, unprotected sex

a/n: So I don't want to overhype this but this chapter is what I've really been excited to share so here it is. I hope you like it!

And huge thanks to @purplepascal042 for your invaluable help and love for this fic! 💜

PATIENT INTERVIEW TRANSCRIPT EXCERPT [NAME REDACTED] ALIAS “STAR” September 22, 1969

-There are some things that you described to Dr. Schneider that I don't think I fully understand. Can you tell me about this place you make mention of? The Green. -I don’t think I know the right words.

“Help me out here, Star?” Reive called. He was carrying an armful of logs.

You were sitting out on the porch step. Ezra was in a rocking chair, and your head rested against his knee, his hand petting the nape of your neck.

It had been a few days since you’d had the bullseye tattooed onto you and you tried your best to resist scratching the irritated skin.

“I’ve got to split these for the fire tonight.”

Ezra squeezed the back of your neck and you looked up at him before you went over to Reive. There was a stump in the front yard and Reive dumped the wood beside it and dislodged an axe. He handed it to you and placed a log upright on the stump.

“I’ve never done this,” you said, holding the axe awkwardly. You hadn’t expected it to be so heavy.

“Just whack it right down the middle,” Reive said. “Like you mean it.”

You swung the axe from over your shoulder and it sliced through the log easily, the two halves falling limply to the ground on either side of the stump.

“Alright,” Reive said with a chuckle.

“Exceptional,” Ezra grinned down from his seat.

You got into a good rhythm, snapping through the pile of wood as Reive went to fetch more. You enjoyed the methodical motion, the sound of the axe head going thunk into the stump. Soon you were working up a sweat in the late afternoon sun.

“Alright, you take over,” Cee insisted as Reive came back with another batch. “She needs to get cleaned up.”

You wiped the sweat from your brow, realizing that you must’ve been at it for a while considering the sizable pile of wood beside you. The sun was hanging low in the sky.

“Sit,” Cee said, motioning towards the steps in front of her. “Let me fix your hair.”

You sat between her legs on the step below and she arranged your hair the way she liked. It felt relaxing, her fingers running over you so gently.

“Cee, when did you and Ezra meet?” you asked. She’d never told you before. She let out a little questioning noise.

“Oh, I don’t really remember. It’s like we’ve always known each other,” Cee shrugged.

You didn’t think you could ever forget talking to Ezra for the first time. But there was a way he’d entered your thoughts that made you feel like he’d been there before you’d ever heard his words.

“I wasn’t really alive back then. I was just living,” Cee explained.

You looked out at the field, the grass a pale yellow in the setting sun. You could already hear crickets chirping. You relaxed further under her touch. There wasn’t anywhere else you’d rather be.

“You must be excited,” Cee mused.

“For what?”

“Tonight. Ezra’s taking you to the Green,” she said. Her eyes were alight.

You turned to look at her, your mouth hanging open.

“How?” you asked.

You’d hardly understood the Green to be a real place. It sounded like a fever dream. You hadn’t asked more about it, didn’t want to come off as closed minded or cynical. The others all nodded along when Ezra pontificated about the tall trees and the bizarre creatures. He had gone there, he’d said, when he was bleeding out. Was that the only way?

“Don’t be nervous. It’s going to change your life,” she said, practically giggling.

Ezra had recited plenty of stories about the Green– its allure, its dangers. Sometimes he would interrupt a silence with some tale about a harvester on the Green and you had tried to grasp its meaning but it often slipped past your fingers. It still felt unreal, a fanciful idea, though Ezra had given it so much depth and detail.

“What’s it like?” you asked.

Cee took a deep breath, searching for the right word.

“Magnetic.”

You turned back and Cee returned to her work. A million questions swirled in your mind. You tried to push them down, ignore the racing heartbeat that you could feel in your throat.

Cee finished, smoothing her hands over your shoulders. She came down to sit beside you on the step and put a violet behind your ear.

“You look so beautiful,” she said as if it were your wedding day.

She kissed you softly on the lips. You felt so much love in the short kiss that your chest burned for a moment and your anxieties were gone. You smiled bashfully.

“Come on,” she said and took you by the hand into the house.

When it was finally fully dark, Reive built a bonfire in the open field. You sat in front of it, listening to the flames crackle. Quiet washed over you as it always did after you’d smoked some grass. Clo smiled like she was listening to a quiet joke and Reive lay beside her watching the stars. You followed his gaze to the sky. There were so many points of light in the black. It was easy to get lost in them.

“Sit beside me,” Ezra said to you.

A jolt of anxiety went through you. But when you went to him, Ezra ran his hand over your hair and down your shoulder and your muscles loosened. Cee knelt down and put two little squares into your palm, thin like tissue paper. She put another into her own mouth and then scampered over to Clo and Reive to distribute more.

“That is an offering I’ll gladly accept,” he said, nodding towards your hand. “But only if you’ll join me on this pilgrimage.”

You looked towards the others.

“Only you and me, Star. They have their own journeys,” he told you.

Your breath left you. Each time he’d touched you, laid beside you, whispered words into your ear, you had felt like the only other person in the world. And now he promised you would be.

You took one little square from your hand on the tip of your finger and placed it in his mouth. Ezra’s lips closed around your finger, warm and wet caressing you gently.

“Come along, little star. Let’s open your mind to the Green,” he urged.

You repeated the gesture, putting the other tile onto your own tongue and letting it melt there. You stared at him dreamily, his eyes so warm and soft. Ezra kissed you deeply, his tongue massaging the spot where the drug had just dissolved on your own. You melted under him, feeling his lips against yours for the first time. His mouth firm and sure over your own.

“I already await you,” he purred in your ear.

You felt a shiver roll out from under his breath. You nearly swooned.

Cee appeared in front of you, squealing with happiness and she pulled you to your feet.

“Let’s go!” she chanted, pulling you along behind her.

She’d stood you up so quickly you were dizzy. You looked back at Ezra who sat on the ground, leaned back casually and watching you with a grin. Cee broke out in a run.

“Wait!” you called after. Laughter was bubbling out of you as you chased her.

The woods became dense and you could see the shadows of Reive and Clo dancing between the trees. You quickly lost track of Cee but you could hear her singing in a language you didn’t recognize.

You found yourself sitting on a toppled tree. The bark felt dry and bumpy and quiet and bright. Could you feel light and dark? It was laughing because your finger tips were tickling it. If you stayed here, you’d turn into a tree yourself, you thought.

An orb of light floated by you and you swore you saw a tiny figure within, delicate gold wings carrying her. The little fairy landed in your palm and you felt two miniscule feet padding across your hand until she dissolved into a shimmering dust.

The colors around you became vibrant and then dull and you could hear the moon calling you.

“Star.”

No, that was Ezra saying your name, somewhere far enough to echo. You followed the sound, and it felt like you were swimming through his voice. Drowning in it.

“Star. Rouse yourself, Star,” you heard Ezra say. But now it was so close.

You opened your eyes. Ezra’s were staring back at you. It was daylight and the woods, well, the woods had changed. These weren’t the same dark, low hanging trees that lined the farm. These were tall with vined red trunks. The forest floor, where you found yourself, was lush and green and alive. The air smelled strange. Earthy and moist like moss but there was something else, something stale.

“I suggest you attire yourself,” he said, offering you some kind of clear hood.

You looked at Ezra again and realized he was wearing a strange suit that reminded you of cosmonauts and the canvas bags those poor boys in the war carried on their backs. You blinked a few times and took what he held.

“This is...we’re here,” you said, breathless, as Ezra helped you into the strange garment. “Is this real?”

“Reality consists of our experiences,” he said.

“Does that mean yes?” you asked. You felt like you’d just woken up from a long sleep.

“I can’t tell you all of the answers,” he said.

When he was finished with your helmet, he smiled at you. He always grinned like he knew something that you didn’t.

There was so much to look at. You wandered around in a circle, neck craned towards the tree tops. In the sky, some sort of huge planet hung so close you felt like it might crash down on you. You leaned over and brushed your gloved finger over an intricate looking fern and it unfurled itself for you. Unfamiliar little insects marched below its leaves.

Suddenly you gasped and shot back up. How had you missed it before? Ezra stood in front of you with both gloves of his strange suit filled.

“Your arm,” you pointed out.

He chuckled.

“Please indulge me, my beautiful star. I promise that I will acquaint you with the surroundings but first, I want to be with you.”

You were spinning from the new sights but your breath stopped at the suggestion and you nodded. You followed Ezra in your clumsy suit through the tall brush to a tent, camouflaged with leaves and low hanging branches.

“Our accommodations,” he said, ushering you inside.

The tent held a wide cot and a few grey trunks. Pinned to its walls were colorful pieces of artwork that fascinated you. A lantern hung from a hook beside some contraption Ezra was fiddling with.

“You can remove that,” Ezra told you and helped you take off the helmet.

As soon as you were both freed from the confines of your suits, Ezra pulled you in by the waist for a kiss. His lips were urgent, commanding as if he had been waiting years on this moon for contact with your mouth. His big palm went against your cheek, his thumb tracing your jawline.

It felt different. Alone here, Ezra felt much less ethereal. He was a man of flesh and blood and muscle. Your hands smoothed over his arms and chest, not with ceremony this time but with hunger.

He pulled back, still clutching your face in one hand, and looked over your parted lips with his dark eyes.

“I would very much like to ravish you,” he breathed.

You let out a whimper and his mouth curled into a satisfied smile. His lips were on you again, traveling down your neck to your breastbone and then lower still. You were wearing the cotton dress from the farm house but he rolled it up, over your head and dropped it at his feet. He got naked just as he had that first night at the farm and you marveled at the sight of his right arm. Kneeling in front of you, Ezra drew his hand over your belly and around your back.

“What does a star taste like, I wonder?” he mused, tugging down your panties with two fingers.

You felt a wave of heat between your legs. He ran his tongue across your lips up to your apex. Your knees buckled at the sensation and you had to brace yourself on his shoulders.

“Divine,” Ezra said.

He laid you out on the floor of the tent and slung your thighs over his shoulders.

“Let me worship you,” he said, kissing along the inside of legs until he was back where he’d begun. Your head fell back when he lapped at you with the flat of his tongue. It was dizzying and, again, it seemed like the world was melting around you. You could feel Ezra’s fingers dig into your thighs, two hands.

You couldn’t be sure what sensation was sending you reeling the furthest, Ezra’s tongue on you or the feeling of the ground against your shoulder blades. It was real, solid, undeniable.

Ezra wasn’t shy in his ministrations. He hummed into you, his mouth loud and lips smacking against you. You wondered how far his animalistic noises could be heard outside of the sanctuary of the tent.

As you crested towards your climax, you buried your hands in his hair, holding on so you didn’t float away as you bucked into him. It was a rolling feeling, your stomach bottoming out like a wave falling away and your muscles going taught. You dissolved into shudders, tears springing to the corners of your eyes as Ezra rode you out and then soothed at you with his hand. You couldn’t remember ever experiencing a feeling that matched this, your body possessed with pleasure.

You were still trembling, keening, as Ezra’s eyes drank you in, his lips wet from you. His gaze was warm and heavy and he slid your legs off of him as he climbed over you. His smooth length pressed against your thigh as he worked at your mouth with his tongue. You could taste yourself on his lips and it made you groan deliciously.

“I wasn't aware that stars could sing. But I would very much like to hear more of your beautiful music,” he said.

His nose trailed along the skin of your jaw and neck to the curve of your shoulder and you were clenching again.

“I want to have you,” he rasped.

He nuzzled into the tender skin beneath your tattoo and you nearly cried out.

“I’m yours,” you whined.

A long low sound came from Ezra’s throat and he shifted, cocking himself at your entrance.

“I want you to have a part of me,” he said.

“Please,” you begged, the word dying on your lips as he pressed into you.

You moaned and held onto Ezra’s shoulders as he brought his hips into you again and again. He held you around the back of your neck with one hand, the other massaging your breast. Heat radiated between your bodies as he grunted with each thrust.

“You are indescribable, Star,” he said.

It was ecstasy, feeling him swell within you, knowing that it was impossible to get any closer to him. Intimacy wasn’t the right word. This was beyond that. This was what you’d wanted from the very beginning. That connection alone was enough to make you fall apart beneath him.

He held you around the bend in your knee and pressed deeper still into you. You pulled on the curls at the nape of his neck, the pressure within you treading a fine line between revelry and agony.

“Look at me,” he said, his voice husky. “Let me see my magnificent star.”

You obeyed, his brown eyes nearly black in the dim. Bliss flooded through you and then Ezra’s eyes snapped shut as he throbbed into you. As his stilting hips slowed, he covered you with his weight, hot lips around yours.

Finally, you were both quiet, save for rough breaths. You could hear celestial noises from the bugs in the brush outside. Ezra caressed your face with his fingers and you laid together, just looking into his gaze.

You went on like this for a long time. It might have been a week, you couldn’t have kept track even if you’d cared. You didn’t feel hungry so you hardly ate. Ezra explored the Green with you, telling you about adventures, strange people he met, showing you plants and oddly shaped rocks. There were so many things to discover, you were giddy like a little girl.

But you spent much of your time in the little tent, enjoying each other. You had him all to yourself and he wanted nothing else. You rode him, took him in your mouth as he mewled beneath you. He painted pictures with his words as he thrust into you, whispered your name as he came inside of you. Sometimes you would cry from the overwhelming sensation of him and his eyes would go soft and warm and he would call you, “My Star.”

Every night you fell asleep tangled together, sticky and warm and drunk with pleasure.

When you came to, your face felt hot and your body felt cold. You blinked again and again, far too aware of the mechanics of the motion, worried you might have forgotten to do it without thinking about it. Blink, you would be thinking every thirty seconds from here on out. Blink blink.

The first thing you noticed was the smell— cedar and stone.

You realized that you were lying on the ground on your side, staring into a campfire. The flames looked so magical. The earth felt flat and still, the air crisp and cold. You were wearing only a thin, strappy cotton dress and your feet were bare. You could hear someone playing guitar and you heard a voice. It was Ezra but you didn’t know what he was saying, just the melody of his words.

You felt the faintest tickle down your neck. Ezra’s fingers trailing gently across your skin. His chest was bare, glowing in the fire light, and his right shoulder ended abruptly in scarred tissue. You looked up at him and tears formed in the corners of your eyes.

“There you are, Star,” he whispered.

You opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out for a long while. Ezra pulled your head into his lap, cradling you and you stared at him, tears streaming down your face.

“I was there,” you finally managed to whisper.

“I know,” he smiled.

--- chapter 4

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[theanimekid]

IT's the puppy ears for me

Small Note: Dark Schneider x reader is out now so go find it in my blog👍

[imamotherfuckingstar-lord]

Wishing on the Wind

Steve Rogers x Reader

Warning: fluff, angst

A/N: requested by anon. Anon requested a Steve fic based off Taylor Swifts song August. The majority of the song is, but the last few paragraphs are inspired by Bob Schneider’s song “Wish the Wind Would Blow Me” plscheck them out whilst reading.

Summary:  Steve & you had a summer romance before heading to college, now you are seeing him again after nearly a decade.

part two

He was never mine; you sat at the end of a church pew, on the verge of tears. Steve was so handsome standing there in a dark blue suit. Older in the face but his eyes were still that solid blue – not even the bad weather could dull their brightness. The church was quiet, everyone listening to the bride and groom exchanging vows. You sat still, wondering why you even bothered to come – it was going to be torture, you knew but the chance to see him in the flesh was enough to get you dressed up. Your hair was swept down, the dusty blue off the shoulder dress settled at your ankles, giving you a comfort of being invisible. Your bare shoulders felt warm inside the church, but you aimed to focus on the bride.

Natasha was beautiful in her full-length gown, her red hair down in relaxed waves. You held back jealously because she was getting her happy ending and you were a spectacular to her contentment.  Truthfully, you were not envious of her because she was getting married – you were mostly mad at yourself. Time had passed since high school, almost a decade had come and gone, and you had never gotten over Steve. It was pathetically sad to even put too much thought into it, but he was across the room, front, and center for you to view and fawn over.

Everyone was older now, the days of going to the mall with ten dollars in your pockets, pairing off in couples to make out in the food court – those times were over. You all grew up and some of you went your separate ways, but you will always remember that you had him once. He was yours a long time ago, when things were so easy, and emotions were fed through stolen kisses and first touches that felt electric. Nothing could ever compare to that summer before college; Steve had always been shy but had confessed to having feelings for you. Elated, you pushed back the thoughts of pending departures to college at the end of summer, and you took his hand and ran.

It was a magical youthful summer, the days spent with friends and the nights reserved for Steve. He would pick you up in Bucky’s truck, the two of you drove around and always found yourselves in quiet places. A bookstore, where he would kiss you in the aisles when no one was looking, his arms wrapped around your waist as you browsed. The convenient store parking lot, where you would share greasy food and listen to the music to loud, Steve’s laugh every time you got to rowdy.

You knew he loved you then, because he would get all quiet and just smile as you danced in the passenger seat. You loved him too, more than you had any business doing so; and when his mother was working late that July night, you asked if he was sure. He was nervous, so were you but he led you to his bedroom, hand tight around yours. That night, you gave yourself to Steve and he was so gentle, the two of you laughing at the momentary awkwardness in the beginning. Before he touched you in a way no one else had, the two of you laying together after – his fingers treading through your hair as he asked if you were okay.

“I’m okay,” you smiled at him, touching the side of his face. He was pink the cheeks, fleshed with soft blue eyes. “I love you.”

His mouth pulled into a smile and he kissed you softly on the lips, making sure to pull you close. “I love you too.”

A month later, the two of you were saying goodbye. You were moving to Oregon for school, he was going to art school in New York. You knew then, as he waited by his car outside your house, that it was over. You realized he was never really yours to lose, it was a gamble to start a romance the summer before college – life was just starting, why tie each other down. Still, you missed him like crazy and kept in touch for a while but then time happened. He got busy with classes; you had a new group of friends in Oregon. Then sooner than you expected, the two of you lost complete touch.

Now, you sat in a church, twisting the wedding program in your hands. Your eyes hyper focused on Steve; his eyes on Natasha and a wide smile on his face. You could feel his hands on your bare back, the warm sheets around your bodies as he kissed you on the neck. Closing your eyes, as vows were made, you could smell sea salt in the air – from the countless times Steve took you to the beach.

His bare shoulders, wet in the water, as he begged you to follow him. You would rush to him, the tides pushing you into his embrace; he was gorgeous in the sunlight, his eyes as blue was the water that came up to your chest. You were so in love with him then and as the ceremony ended with a tender kiss, you realized you had never let go of that love.

Everyone stood up to cheer, you followed suit; hands clapping instinctively as tears ran down your face. You were happy just to see him and as the bride and groom held up hands in the air; you watched intensely as they paraded down the aisle, hugging and greeting their guests.  You counted each step, genuinely excited for them as they approached. Natasha was the first to catch your eye and her whole face lit up – you were, in fact, one of her closest friends in high school. She stopped in her tracks to give you a hug.

She smelled like rose perfume and her arms tightened around you. “I’m so happy you came! I wasn’t sure if I got the right address.”

I drifted too much, you thought as you held her tight, congratulating her with a kiss on the cheek. “You look so beautiful.”

Pulling from her, you finally looked to the groom. He was more handsome than he had been in high school, his jawline emerged from the baby face and he was now a full fledge man – a married man.

“Doll,” he exclaimed, his lips formed a great big smile.

Somethings never changed. Bucky had taken to calling all the females in his life doll, it was odd when you first met him freshman year, but it was part of his charm – charm that not even Natasha could resist. Those two were glued to the hips all four years of high school, went to college together and from what you saw on Natasha’s social media, took to traveling. You supposed they were ready to settle down and start a family, that is what you thought when you saw the wedding invitation in the mail.

A part of you wanted to decline the invitation, it had been too long. You had gone off and never came back, hardly kept in touch – you were a bad friend like that, but you knew Bucky would not have anyone but Steve as his best man.

“I’m glad you came,” Bucky said, leaning forward to kiss you on the teach. He squeezed your forearm and made you promise to stay all night. Natasha concurred as her husband started to tug her along, “We have a lot to catch up on.”

You just smiled and watched as they paraded out of the church, everyone following. Pretending to casually glance around, you felt a bit relieved that Steve was no where in sight. So, you followed the train of people out of the church and waved with the crowd as Bucky and Nat drove off. The reception venue was a ten-minute drive from the church, so you went back to your car and got in.

Inside, you closed the door and turned on the engine, letting it run as you placed your forehead against the stirring wheel. You should not have come; it was a bad idea. It just brought up feelings that needed to be suppressed; it was pathetic, you were pathetic to be hung up on a high school boyfriend.  A fleeting summer love that had more impact than it should have had; it should have been a nostalgic memory, not a never-ending torment.

Bringing your hands to the wheel, your forehead pressed further into the stirring wheel.

Tap, tap, tap.

Lifting your head, you looked to the passenger window and saw white knuckles on the glass. Sitting up straight, you pressed the automatic button to bring the window down. Your heart jumped when you recognized the color of the suit, it was the same as all the other groomsmen. Heat rose to your face as Steve’s head appeared in the window, he was bent over. For a moment, you zeroed on his fingers as they gripped the edge of the windowsill.

“I thought that was you,” he grinned. “I saw you in the crowd, wasn’t sure my mind was playing tricks.”

“Hey, Steve,” you choked out weakly. “I guess Nat found me...”

He laughed and looked over his shoulder. “I better go, I’m driving the boys to the venue. You’re going, right?’

You nodded and he smiled again. “Good, I’ll save you a seat.”

Before you had a chance to say okay, he jogged across the street and disappeared into the small crowd that was left socializing in front of the church. Your heart raced and sweated beaded across your forehead, the cool air from the AC gave you the chills as you buckled up and started toward the wedding venue.

….

The venue was at a botanical garden, large white tent surrounded by beauty. The sun was nearing dusk, lights faired alongside the tent, it was intimate and gorgeous as you entered; there was no assigned seating, so you picked a table farthest from the bridal table – it felt odd to take up space when you hardly seen Bucky or Natasha in the last eight years. Sitting down, you placed your bag on the back of your chair and looked for the open bar. It was near the back entrance, mentally, you thanked Nat and Bucky for not being stingy.

You got up and beelined it to the free drinks. You waited patiently, avoiding the temptation to look around for Steve. When it was your turn, you ordered a vodka tonic and tipped the bartender before moving to cross the room back to your seat. As you walked through a small crowd, nearly to your table someone touched the tip of your elbow; holding it gently to bring you to a stop. You paused and your elbow was freed as your turned – it was Steve, looking sheepishly handsome.

“Where are you going?”

“To my table,” you held up the vodka tonic.

“I told you I was going to save you a seat, come on,” he urged. A part of you wanted to run away, but that smile felt so familiar. He waited for you to fetch your bag, holding out his arm for you take when you returned to him. Unable to help it, you took it and the two of you crossed the tent to where he resided with a few of the bridal party.

He introduced you like the gentleman he always was, and everyone perked up when he mentioned you knew him, Bucky, and Natasha from high school. From there, there were numerous requests for scandalous stories of their youth and with the alcohol flowing in your system, you were happy to tell them. You had everyone laughing about, recounting stories that were embarrassing to all parties, including yourself.

Steve scooted his chair closer to yours after the second drink, egging you on to tell more; his laugh echoed in your ears and made your body warm as he nudged you playfully. When the food arrived, the conversation timid and Steve started asking you questions about your life.

“I’m still in Oregon, I’m a veterinary tech.”

“That’s amazing.”

“I do love it; I live outside Portland. Small one-bedroom apartment, it’s nice.”

Steve grinned. “Living the bachelorette life?”

You scoffed. “Hardly. I have been perpetually single for years now.”

His eyebrow scrunched up and you felt embarrassed; a man with his looks probably had millions of dates, but he obviously did not bring one tonight. Shrugging, you laughed at yourself and took a sip of the wine that was served with dinner. As you drank, you saw from the corner of your eye that he was holding back a smile; it made you flush. You put down the glass and took a breath before asking him about what he was up to.

“Nothing much, I’m a full-time freelance artist.”

He was always so humble – you had seen his art online, visited his website a handful of times; he was brilliant, but it was like him to dial down the greatness. It used to drive you crazy because you had seen how talented he was, especially when the two of you were juniors. He didn’t think he was good enough to get into art school, but you pushed him to applying to schools all over the country, and you weren’t surprised when he got into several. He ended up picking New York and you were thrilled for him, and now, he was this amazing artist and you were happy to hear he was doing well.

The two of you continued to catch up through dinner, and when the speeches started, Steve gave a lovely one that nearly had you in tears. Bucky and Natasha looked like real life fairytale lovers as they glided across the wooden floor for their first dance to the band playing; you watched next to Steve, mesmerized.  He smiled at you when your eyes met and all you could do was look away. You heard him chuckle lightly as the song dimmed, then the singer announced the dance floor was now open for others. A second later, Steve was asking you to dance with him; you gazed over at him, puzzled.

“What?”

He laughed. “We should dance.”

This time you laughed, thinking he was joking but his smile faded, and you realized he was not. His eyes softened as they studied you for a moment, as though he was trying to figure you out; lightening up when you agreed and got up – holding out your hand to him.

“Lead the way.”

The singers voice was tenderly rough, the song was almost a lullaby and when Steve brought you to the dance floor, you hid together among the other dancing couples. You brought a hand up around Steve’s shoulder, your fingers resting on the nape of his neck as he took your other in his. He held it close to his chest as he pulled you in with his free hand – letting it rest around your waist. Your heart race gently as he swayed you against his body, the lights low as the music cradled the two of you on the dance floor.

It felt strangely sad as the two of you danced together; it felt like a cruel joke to bring the two of you together for one night, when all this time he was all you wanted. Neither of you spoke as Steve held you against him and when stole a look at him, you were shocked to see his eyes closed. You swayed with him, watching for a moment until you did the same – closed your eyes as the song went on, pretending everything was different. Pretending that you had never lost him, that the two of you ended up staying together and you were together at the wedding. That things had been different, that instead of drifting away, you stayed close – you kept in touch.  Holding your eyes closed, you let it all encompass you because wishing was all you had now. So, you let Steve hold you, even for this one song; hoping it would be enough.

“I wish the world would do what I want it to, and I wish the wind would blow me…blow me back to you…”

Then it all ended; the singer’s voice dulled to a whisper and Steve was saying your name. Your eyes fluttered open to his staring; his lips formed a knowing smile as his hand dropped from your waist. Surprised, you felt his other hand still holding onto yours, moving you away from the dance floor. Figuring he was leading you back to the table, you asked where he was going when he walked past it.

Steve said nothing as his hand tightened around yours, maneuvering the two of you through the tables and out the back entrance of the tent. Contrast to the inside, outside it was cool and breezy as Steve walked you toward the fountain that was a few yards away. You looked up at the night sky, trying to avoid the feeling of Steve’s palm against yours; he felt so warm.

He stopped in front of the marble water fountain, still holding onto your hand; his thumb rubbed against your skin as he apologized for bringing out in the cold.

“Sorry,” he chuckled, shaking his head. “I just couldn’t say what I needed to with everyone around.”

Your throat clenched; feeling overstimulated from his touch and the way he was staring at you. It felt like a dazed dream, the wedding, the dance, Steve so close.

“When Bucky told me he was proposing, I was happy for them – “

“- I knew those two would end up together,” you smiled, and he nodded.

“I was so happy because I knew that this would my last chance to get to you.”

Your body stilled; his words echoed in your head. He was trying to get to me? You could not believe what he was saying, you were rendered speechless.

Steve tugged at your hand, bringing you closer like on the dance floor. “I never got over you,” he confessed. “I - I hated that we parted but I wanted you to live your life and didn’t want to hold you back.”

All this time, you thought as he continued to speak. We could have had all this time....

“We stopped keeping in touch and I took that as a sign to move on,” he exhaled, squeezing your hand tight, for what seemed like comfort. “I jsut couldn’t get over you, when Nat was looking for an address for you, I made a couple of calls.”

That notion made you laugh, breaking your silence. “Calls?”

His face turned a light shade of red as he explained that he called his mom. “She still had your mom’s contact information. She got your address for the wedding and I hoped you’d show.”

You laughed than, a ludicrous laugh that stunned Steve. He must have felt slighted because he started to let go of your hand, but you caught it and shook your head. “It’s…. it’s just I came to the wedding in hopes of seeing you.”

Steve’s face fell for a split second before his shoulders started to shake with laughter, never letting go of your hand as he tugged you to me. He shook his head and wrapped an arm around your waist, bringing his head down towards yours.

“How about that,” he whispered, his breath on your lips as he edged closer. “We are the worst friends ever.”

You laughed, nodding in agreement. His eyes relaxed when you reached up to touch his face, closing your eyes as the moment you had anticipation for so long happened – Steve kissed you like it was the first time all over, his lips against yours as if time never passed. The water in the fountain moved against the wind, and the wedding goers commemorated a night of love – unaware a new love story was in the making just outside their celebration.

[mushroomhouseview]

READING LOG 5

For this reading log, our final one of the semester, we are diving into nonfiction and historical fiction! These are not only great books for those who have a love for these two genres but are also great choices when wanting to foster children's love of learning.

Without further ado, below are three different books, two nonfiction and one historical fiction that kids are sure to love!

ENJOY!

Astrophysics for Young People in a Hurry by Neil deGrasse Tyson with Gregory Monroe

Publisher: Norton Young Readers

Date Published: February 5, 2019

Dimensions: 6.1 x 0.5 x 9.1 inches

Type of Book: Print, Hardcover

Awards: N/A

Page Number: 176 pages

Age/Grade: 8 - 12 y/o 

This is a very well done book for the targeted age group as it really simplified some dense content. He talks about the order and unknowns of space: aliens, space exploration, macrocosm (I will admit that I didn’t know what that was until I read this book), etc. As someone who is really interested in the universe I really enjoyed this book; I think Tyson’s love of the subject was really prominent through this book. The illustrations in this book really added to the tone of this book: fun color illustrations that really gripped you in addition to the interesting facts that Tyson wants us to be aware of. He is able to explain things like dark matter and dark energy really well, so much so that someone like me, whose IQ drops once anything scientific is mentioned, was able to understand. Though sometimes the information got to be a little complicated and confusing, it wasn’t anything that couldn’t be understood after a reread or two - which is to be expected from the material he is discussing, even if it is meant to be really dumbed down. 

This is a great book to advertise and have on display during any science/STEM program. This would be great if there were an astrology program (that would be SO FUN), where we would talk about the different planets and stars and just the universe in general. Programs like that could be so much fun!! 

Show Me a Sign by Ann Clare LeZotte

Publisher: Scholastic Press

Date Published: March 3, 2020

Dimensions: 5.7 x 1.2 x 8.3 inches

Type of Book: Print, Hardcover

Awards: Schneider Family Book Award for Middle Grades (2021)

Page Number: 288 pages

Age/Grade: 8-11 y/o (3rd - 7th grade)

This is a historical fiction, Own Voices novel, written by a Deaf author and librarian (Yay! This is what ultimately hooked me on this book… that and my love of sign language, which I have been learning for the past eight years). This book is about the deaf community that was living on Martha’s Vineyard in the 19th century, where their language wasn’t ASL but MVSL (Martha’s Vineyard Sign Language).  Living in this community with others that are also deaf, Mary Lambert and her family are still grieving over the loss of her brother. When a scientist comes to the village in search of answers as to why most of the community members are deaf, things start to shift even more in their lives. When Mary starts to investigate what the man is really doing in their village (she is suspicious of him because of his attitude towards the people), she learns that he is a truly evil man and is shocked to learn that she, and others in her community, are “live specimens”. 

This was such a wonderful and interesting read. A few chaters after I started this book, I had to do some research into the Deaf community of the Chilmark village on Martha’s Vineyard in 1805 and I was shocked to learn that the Lambert family (which is the family that the main character of this book) was actually real and quite well known. I knew that this event was real, but I had no idea that the family was so well known, and that made me want to read even more. This story did not end how I expected it to and I actually really liked that the author did that, the first half we were getting to know the characters and the situation that surrounds them and then in the second half things really pick up and at every turn I thought I had figured out how it was going to end, but it didn’t! This was such a wonderful read with really interesting history around it.

This is a book that I would recommend to middle graders who do and do not have an interest in historical fiction. I think this is a novel that everyone will not only be interested in, but will also come to love. I think it will also spark interest in learning ASL (though the language that this book conveys is MVSL) and the Deaf community. A book like this is great for a book club for middle grade or a precursor to an American Sign Language program; both of these would generate fairly good attendance. 

The Attack on Pearl Harbor: An Interactive History by Alison Lasseur

Consultant: David Aiken

Publisher: Capstone Press

Date Published: July 15, 2016 (first published 2007)

Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.3 x 7.3 inches

Type of Book: Print, Paperback

Awards: n/a

Page Number: 112

Age/Grade: 8 - 11 y/o (3rd - 7th grade)

This book is a part of the ‘You Choose’ series which is much like the Choose Your Own Adventure but for nonfiction. This is the best interactive nonfiction book out there - it puts the readers right in the middle of history and forces them to make decisions that will ultimately lead to their death or long life (this story contains three different story paths, 51 choices, and 19 endings). What’s so fantastic about these books is that even when you finish your initial storyline, you always want to go back and choose something else, see if you can get a different ending (most of the time you will and most of the time you won’t) and that’s the fun in books like these). 

 What is really well done with these books is that they really do encourage learning of historical events. The book includes evidence and some information of other events that are happening at the same time. The back of the book includes an overview of the time period and the event that the book is based on, in this case it is Pearl Harbor. You get to choose WHO you want to be (the three different storylines): a navy sailor, navy nurse, and a Japanese pilot, which I found to be really interesting because it gives so many differing POVs at the time of this event/timeline. This is the perfect book for its targeted age group (8-11 y/o). This series is a great way to keep younger kids interested in history (especially since most of them are not) and is a great way to allow kids to immerse themselves into the books that they are reading. Choose Your Own Adventure books are truly amazing and I was surprised to find, years ago, that they took that idea and gave it a historical element rather than a fantasy one.

[clara-licht]

Shattered

Summary: Tom looked through pictures of you and him.

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Word Count: 1.2k+

Warning: ANGST ANGST ANGST (you’ve been warned!)

Note: I was in an angsty mood and this piece was born. The lyrics in this story is translated from Andmesh’s Hanya Rindu. I know that the song is dedicated for his mother, but the “heart misses” part can be quite universal. I recommend listening to the original song or the English/Indo cover on Kurt Hugo Schneider’s YouTube channel.

Also I wrote this in 2 hours in the middle of the night, so please excuse any mistake or rushedness!

Title Inspo: BTS - The Truth Untold

Song Inspo: Andmesh - Hanya Rindu

Marvel Masterlist | Main Masterlist

——————————

Alone, all by myself

I see through the memories, all with you

Through the pictures, long kept deep away

 Darkness shrouded the room.

He paid no mind to the lack of light nor the storm making itself known through rumbles of thunder.

How could he, when his heart felt the exact same?

After all, no thunderstorm could beat the one raging inside him.

His feet dragged him across the room to a bookshelf filled with not just literature, but also pictures and memorabilia. Books that weren't his lined up on the shelves. Pictures that also weren't his scattered stood in frames in front of those books. And on one of the shelves, a thick light blue book spine was calling him.

Before he could register what he was doing, his shaking hand already reached and pulled it towards him.

Memories of You and Me!, the cover said.

He chuckled humorlessly.

The only source of light in that room came from the window, where lightning would flash once in a while, followed by rumbling thunder. The sky was as dark as a pitch even when the clock on his screen-side down phone showed 03:12 PM.

After a moment of just staring blankly at the book on his hand, he finally gathered the will to flick the light on and sat down on his bed. The blue book, with its title practically laughing at him, felt heavy. Yet he opened it anyway.

A smiling picture of you was the first thing that greeted him.

So beautiful, he thought,

Below was another picture of you laughing happily, but this time he was also there. A hand snaked around your waist while yours covered your laughing face. He looked at you with a happy grin; his eyes twinkling with happiness.

How long had it been since he was that happy?

His fingers flicked the page.

Another of you, fully focused on the books and notes in front of you as you sat before a table. He remembered when he took that picture. You were studying for an exam wearing only his oversized t-shirt and had been sitting there for hours. He loved seeing you wearing his clothes and he thought, why not take a picture?

He looked through the pages slowly. More pictures of you. Of you yelling at his brother, of you grinning happily on your graduation, of you holding Tessa. There were also pictures of him, but he skipped them. Who cares about me, his mind whispered, when you're all that I can think about?

Then there were pictures of you and him. Of your first date, of you sleeping while leaning on him, of you holding his hand while walking Tessa, of you kissing his cheek, of you crying as he knelt on one knee in front you.

Tears started stinging his eyes.

 And though it breaks my heart

Seeing pieces of myself with you

But we know those moments are long gone

 He turned the page again, ignoring the tears starting to make their way down his cheeks. There was a picture of you looking absolutely gorgeous in a floor-length red dress with him during a premiere of one of his movies. Your left fourth finger had adorned a diamond ring that you proudly showed to the camera. You had looked breathtaking that day and he couldn't help but fell in love more.

More pictures of you and him followed as the pages kept turning. He dived into the memories, smiling fondly at the sweet moments captured into the photographs.

You had insisted on putting a photo album early in your relationship, saying digitals weren't too reliable. Easy to accidentally erase, you had complained. He agreed with you. Being not too proficient in technology himself, a photo album sounded amazing to him.

And it ended up being a great decision, especially now.

The album he held had pictures of you through all the time you'd been together. The dates on the pictures slowly progressed from your first date and kept moving forward.

However, he hadn't even reached the last page of the album when the photos stopped abruptly.

The last picture was of you kissing him, clichély, under the rain. His brother had taken the opportunity to immortalize the moment when she had run outside the house to greet him after a long month of filming.

Just remembering that moment had made more tears streamed down from his eyes.

 I keep on wishing that you could be back here beside me

I still remember the way you smile,

Laughing with me

 His whole body was now shaking. He held the album close to his chest. Silent sobs escaped his mouth before turning into a full howl filled with pain.

He missed you.

He missed your smile. He missed your laugh. He missed the way you run your fingers through his hair. He missed the way you say his name. He missed how you were always there for him.

He missed you.

There was nothing he could do. You were gone, and nothing could ever bring you back to him. Life was not a movie, after all. Once gone, forever gone.

But god did he wish he could just turn back time and change it all over.

Then again, what could he have done?

He didn't register the sound of his door opening. He only realized that he was no longer alone when a pair of arms pulled him into a warm and familiar embrace. As much as he loved it, it still wasn't your hug. He could feel the difference in the way the arms circled around him or the way his head was tucked into the embrace.

"Shh…"

The comforting gesture had only made his despaired whimper getting louder.

His heart had been broken before, but nothing could ever be on par with this.

 I'll give it all for a chance

Please God, give us one moment back

This can't be reality

 "God, please, give her back!" He howled.

"Oh, Tom…"

"Mom, please, I can't!" He sobbed out into his mother's chest. "Please! I'll give anything!"

Nikki swallowed back her tears. She tightened her hold on her oldest son. She, too, would give anything if it meant his son would stop being in pain. But what could she have done?

"I'm sorry, Tom…" She whispered. "I'm sorry…"

 Yes, deep inside I know

That everything has changed

Yet still my heart can't let you go

 The thing is, Tom knew there was nothing anyone could do. Your departure was inevitable. It didn't come out of nowhere; you had been struggling for years. He had been naïve and believed that nothing could stand in front of your and his happiness together.

When reality hit him, it had hit him hard.

Yes, there was nothing he could do, but that didn't stop him from wishing he had done something different.

 This can't be reality

My heart is still holding on

Oh, my heart is longing for you

 Now he could only stay there in his mother's arms, crying for someone he had lost and would never regain. In time, he would accept his new reality. But for now, he could only weep his pain away.

And he knew that even if this pain passed, his heart would always long for you.

——————————

To my Indonesian readers: SAKIT GA NGEDENGERIN LAGUNYA APA CUMA GUE DOANG

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