#deadpool headcannons

[your-next-daydream]

I would like to see more headcanons of Deadpool 👉👈 (i love your writing, you got his character sooo right 💜)

Of course I can!

Gender not specified reader

It wasn't specified exactly what you want so I'll do just random hcs if that's ok.

* he wants to get a snake or a spider that's venomous because it wouldn't effect him. He ended up getting one and completely forgot that you aren't immune like he is. "Holy fuck I'm so sorry darling I'll handle it but look how cute it is! I mean it can't be that bad." As revenge you eventually picked it up and threw it at his dick. "Sugar tits I feel like I deserved that, but now I can't use my dick for a while so more like it sucks for you."

* if you ever read a book around him he'll take it and hold it up in the air so you'll give him attention.

* Ok so you know those hugs where someone will come up behind you and slide their hands in you shirt? He does that don't change my mind.

* randomly just throws snacks at you when he thinks you haven't been eating. Or he'll sit there and eat with you.

* randomly just fucking bites you? It doesn't matter where or when it just happens.

* he taught you how to fight with one of his katanas just in case something happens.

*anytime you leave to go anywhere he will slip a knife in your bag/pocket. He put a grenade in there once...

* he doesn't really like putting you at risk but he thinks it would be funny if you played as bait on a mission and he came out like "sorry Hun I'm back with the.... groceries?"

* tried to have you wear his suit once but you just kinda stepped away and said "that smells like drugs and blood, and as much as that is hot please go wash that thing."

* he has literally ripped his arm off just to reach something for you.

* on Halloween he thought it'd be funny to dress up as Freddy Krueger and had you dress up as Jason. Y'all ended up scaring so many people including some people he needed to get off the ol kill list.

* when Christmas comes around he makes a warm peach cobbler with vanilla ice cream and flings pieces at you so he can lick it up.

* he called you in the middle of an investigation on someone set up the phone waved sweetly and proceeded to start beating the person up.

* his friends are your friends meaning you have protection like no other. Also a lot of fun stories are shared.

* someone at the "bar" hit on you once and he was so proud how you made that person look like an idiot.

((that is kinda short I'm really sorry, feel free to request anyone else!))

[shrenvents]

Professor Howlett

Warnings: Minors dni, smut, no protection, fingering, vaginal, doggy, pet names, squirting, age gap (legal!)

Pairing: Logan Howlett/Wolverine x Student (Mutant) reader

Summary: Your history professor always seemed uninterested in you, that was until you missed his class.

Word count: 2.6k

…

Throughout high school I’ve always kind of stood out. To be honest, I only have myself to blame. Bright colours and statement pieces are just so much more appealing, than wearing something ‘plain.’ Unfortunately, I did more than just “stand out” that day, just three weeks away from senior graduation. That fateful day, I was so close to the finish line, before my stupid ex-boyfriend discovered my secret, and outed it to the entire student body.

That I’m a mutant…

That was what led me across the coast, for most of the past year, running from god knows what. I heard the stories of mutants being hunted and gone missing, and I didn’t intend to stick around long enough, that I wouldn’t at least make it to my 20th birthday.

However, my days of swindling folks of cash and food came to a halt, when I spotted a man with red-tinted glasses watching me. His invested gaze observed my every movement, so I grabbed all my shit, and the last bit of petty change I managed to get, and sprinted into a crowd.

Just as I thought I was in the clear, my face collided with a colossal, firm chest. I pressed the heels of my palms into it, and felt the cotton of his white shirt, and the rough, yet smooth texture of his worn-in, leather jacket.

Logan Howlett, or should I say, Mr. Howlett, my history Professor... After he and Scott captured me, they dragged me by the ankles to their school for the “gifted.” I cringed when they said where we were headed, but once I arrived and saw all the kids, like me, going about their lives, free, I knew everything would be more than okay.

And one thing I knew for sure, is that I wouldn’t mind attending Mr. Howlett’s class. Did I know shit about history, yes. But I’ve always had a thing for the older guy, and from what I’ve heard, he’s more than enough in that department.

...

This morning, racing out of my room, I swore profusely at my tardiness... Just my luck. The one day that week I get to see and listen to Logan talk for an hour straight, my alarm malfunctions.

Multitasking between attempting to tie my hot-pink heels, wrapping my sparkly bag over my shoulder, and shutting my door, I missed the approaching figure behind me.

“It’s past 11 am, where do you think you’re headed?” I swivel on my toes, spinning to face Storm. “Class?”

“The only class you have left today kid, is at 2. You’ve managed to miss the rest already,” she scolds flatly.

“Noooo,” I fake astonishment and defeat, as I slowly back away from Storm's scrutinizing stare. She calls my name after I’ve taken at least two large steps backward. “Logan wants to see you,” she states, exasperated.

“Oh?” I straighten out, stopping my next step short. “Ok!” I exclaim, a little too perky. She huffs a faint smirk and walks off, and I take flight, zooming to Logan’s class, where he’s most likely dozed off.

Lo and behold, after knocking once and receiving no response, I open the door to see him snoring. With his legs fully extended, and feet resting on his desk, I bask in his lengthy physic. I giggle and then go towards him.

Mr. Howlett?” I say, clearing my throat loudly, he grunts in his sleep and I smile. “Mr. Howlett?” I say even sweeter. A second later, I swear he mumbles my name and my heart stutters, but he’s still sleeping. I move in closer to his ear. “Logan,” I announce rigidly, and my change in tone makes him flinch, legs falling off the table, eyes popping open.

He rasps my name, voice echoing through the classroom. I refused to move away from my position, wanting to seem unaffected by him, but I was anything but. With his lazy eyes roaming over my skin, my heart races wildly. He clears his throat, and rolls his eyes away after taking in my attire, as he usually does —gives me a once-over, and rolls his eyes back to his focus on his lecture.

“You missed class, that isn’t like you,” he notes, almost to himself.

“Yes and I’m sorry-“

“I hope it wasn’t because you were too busy picking that outfit.” Logan scoffs and my eyes widen. He’s always made snarky comments, and this wasn’t anything new, but every time he does, I can’t help the boiling feeling in my lungs, that makes me rise to defend myself. “No, maybe I just felt like sleeping in?” I declare. A short-lived chuckle escapes him. “And you’re just gonna admit to that?” He smirks as he faces me. “I don’t like kids skipping my class.”

“First off, I’m an adult, second, you don’t care when kids skip your class,” I retort, with a growing smile, beaming across my face. Though, his complimentary smile, drops as mine comes to full form. He’s never seemed fond of my smile, or maybe it’s just me.

“You don’t skip my class.” He states once again, and my head quirks in confusion. “Um, I’m sorry?” I compromise, “It won’t happen again.”

“It better not,” He remarks dangerously. My brows furrow.

“Okay, I don’t get why it matters so much to you Mr. Howlett.” I place my hands on my hips, gazing down at him in his chair like I'm reprimanding a child. Which he is not akin to.

He lifts from his chair, standing up. I gasp as he towers over me. “Watch your tone, or I’ll fail ya,” he counters, fighting a smirk, staying stoic. “What?” I yelp and his smirk breaks through. My jaw goes slack. “Mr. Howlett, that’s not funny!”

“What’s not funny, is you pretending like calling me 'Mr. Howlett,' doesn’t turn you on.”

I freeze in disbelief. Was this one of my daydreams? Am I really awake right now?

“You heard me, you damn highlighter,” he asserts. “Call me Logan for fucks sake, if you’re a damn adult.” His scratchy voice loses its humour, and I stay frozen to the spot. “Get outta here, would ya,” Logan orders as he leisurely retakes his seat, getting comfortable for his next nap.

Unable to drag myself away, my eyes refocus on the subject of my desires. “Why do I have such a thing for assholes.”

Before Logan can respond angrily, I sit on his lap, dropping my purse to the floor, and straddling his hips. I cup his perplexed face and crash our mouths together, moulding them into one. He grunts in surprise as if he didn’t expect me to retaliate, as if he didn’t expect that I would want him this way.

He half-heartedly pulls away between kisses, whispering my name in small protests, but he gets muffled by my lips and grinds on his lap. Quickly, his objections turn into fierce groans. He takes my hips into his hands, tightly gripping into my flesh as he pushes me back, onto his desk. I whimper as his crotch stays glued to my core, even as we move. One hand then moves from my hip to my neck, holding it, then slowly sliding to my jaw, grasping it in a hungry, pressing kiss. His tongue laps my mouth, completely dominating me, and I struggle to breathe.

Just as I’m about to pull away to comment on how desperate he seems, his other hand flips me over with ease. My stomach is now on top of his desk, his crotch, like iron against my ass, and his hands trace down from my shoulder blades, to my bum. With my head hung over the desk, I pant, practically drooling.

“You’re asking for detention pinky,” he mutters, and I respond by pushing back into his hard cock. “I'm a sucker for extra attention teach,” I mention, as sensually as I could muster. He chuckles lowly, and I shudder. The pressure of his dick doesn’t change, and his hands continue their unhurried venture of me. “You like attention sweets?” Logan questions softly. His tone makes me shiver and whimper, yet again. “I like yours.”

“Just mine?” He questions darkly, telling me he doesn’t actually want any opposition. “Yes,” I whisper.

His voice drops an octave as he swears, rolling his hips into me once. I moan loudly. “Shhhh princess, you tryna alert the entire building?” He asks with amusement evident. I shake my head, no, and he laughs by my ear as he dips down. “Good, because I don’t like sharing your attention,” he says passively. “And I’d like to be the only ‘asshole,’ that gets to see what’s under these ridiculous clothes.”

“Hey!” I object meekly. I feel him smile as he leans away from my ear, and I turn my head over my shoulder to watch him peer down at where our bodies meet. “You probably want me to fuck you on this desk.” He speaks as though I’m not there to hear him. “Ya probably want to be taken here so that every time you’re sitting in my class, you can vividly imagine me deep inside you.” He trails off as his hand pushes up my shirt, touching my lower back.

“But we can’t do that,” he sighs hoarsely.

“Why?” My reply is so quick that I grimace.

“Because, if we did, I’d be hard every time I’m in this fucking room, and that isn’t the smartest idea.” I moan at his crudeness and gasp when he pecks my naked spine, just below my bra clip. “Even your lingerie is pink huh?” He laughs smoothly. “Imagined it would be.” My legs rub together instinctively at his words.

“You imagined it?”

He pauses. “Hell yeah I did, though I tried to fight it,” he muses in between a groan. “It didn’t take me long to figure you wanted this too, princess,” he murmurs pleasantly.

After a long beat of silence and a little grinding, I speak up. “So now what? If you’re not going to make love to me here.”

He slowly pushes the hair over my face, behind my ear, tilting my head to face him just a bit. He then leans down and kisses me on the cheek.

“I’ll come to you,” is all Logan says as he reluctantly wrenches himself from me, after giving my ass cheek a mild slap. I yelp and nearly pout at the loss of touch. We hold eye contact as he backs away. “Get going, otherwise you’ll be late,” he comments airily. I nod and scurry out the room, with a grin plastered on my face.

...

After a long, vigorous rest of the day. I collapse into my plushy bed with a sigh.

“Took you long enough,” a dark voice rings, with a hint of familiar sass. I jolt up to see Logan leaning on my wardrobe. His tight shirt is only more strained as his arms cross. “Been waiting to ‘make love' to ya all day,” he claims, with a mocking tone, repeating my "childish" words from earlier. My best guess is that he assumes I’m a virgin.

So, in an attempt to remedy my reputation, sitting up on my bed, with my arms bracing my figure, I slowly spread my bent legs. I bite my bottom lip, and his eyes shift down and blacken. “Get on with it then, Logan.” I roll my tongue as his name teasingly leaves my mouth. His head twitches in an almost feral manner, and I gulp.

“You’re asking for it,” is all he mumbles before pouncing on me. Our limbs tangle and I moan as his leg presses into my clothed clit. “Please,” I just about sob, to which he responds with an aggressive kiss and another crushing rub of his thigh. I moan louder, and he grunts, “You like that?” I push my hands into his hair, running my fingers through his thick locks. He lets out a coarse groan.

Loving how vocal he is, I decide to encourage him by groping his cock over his rugged jeans. “Fuck, baby,” he groans out when his mouth leaves mine. He then runs his tongue over my neck and collar, soon nibbling on my earlobe. His thigh continues to make work of me, and I match his pace. “You're so dirty,” he grins while his nose brushes my rosy cheek, and then he's kissing me. “I love it,” he professes with amusement, again, coating his tone.

Just as I begin undoing his belt, he flips me over on my stomach like before. Then, when I'm lying flat underneath him, he grabs my hips, to lift them towards his crotch as he kneels above. “I better see a pink thong,” he jokes as he strips me bare. He groans in satisfaction as I’m left in just my underwear for his viewing. “Unreal,” Logan practically purrs.

I wiggle my ass playfully, and he growls and smacks it harder than he did in his classroom. I squeal into my pillow, briskly going quiet when I hear his belt being ripped from the loops of his denim. Leaving my underwear in place, he runs his digits over the lace, making me whine, "Logan."

With his name on my tongue, it shortly turns into a cry as the lace covering my clit gets moved to the side, and two meaty fingers dive into me. "Shit, princess," he rasps. "How am I gonna fit?" He asks rhetorically, and I choke a sob, as he wastes no time building up an energetic pace, with his fingers.

He swiftly tears an orgasm from my trembling body, still holding my hips up with one hand. When his fingers leave, I hear his mouth clean them, and I swing my head to face him hastily, but he shoves my head back into my pillow. "So eager," he more or less snickers.

"Very," my smothered voice emits, barely audible.

I nearly shriek when his tip swipes my wet slit. Logan, without notice, suddenly pushes himself inside me, with an agonizing slowness, but I quietly persist. "Atta girl, that's it," he lazily groans out encouragements. My hands pathetically slide onto his thighs, unsure if I'm urging him for more, or begging for discretion.

At once, he shoves himself in all the way, and I let out an extensive sigh. His palm, which was just holding down my head, joins his other hand on my abandoned hip. He lets out various curses, along with my name, and begins to move, in and out. Soon enough, he's pounding into me at a savage rate, completely untamed. As well, it seems purposeful, how he simultaneously bends down to growl and moan in my ear, still thrusting.

He stirs another orgasm, still notably, not experiencing his own. "You look real pretty like this princess," he begins to ramble. "Gonna do this every fucking day." The rest of what he says gets lost in translation, as I grow overwhelmed and overstimulated.

Thoughtlessly, I try to crawl away while he still has my lower half hoisted up. Once Logan realizes what I'm up to, my pitiful effort has him laughing. "Where ya going?"

"Lo, it's too much-"

"Lo? Call me that again, it's cute," he hums.

"No more," I whimper, ignoring him.

"Just one more baby," Logan coos, while somehow increasing his pace, making me cum instantly, squirting a little. His moan rumbles in his chest, and he doesn't stop hammering into me. I grip my headboard, and one of his arms stretches alongside mine, to do the same.

When he cums, his grip snaps the wood, breaking a part of the headboard, making me shout in between sobs. He seems to not notice the damage, too busy finishing on my backside.

After a long minute, he slumps his large frame beside me. One of his arms stays drifting across my skin as his eyes intently coast over my features. "Maybe consider skipping my class more often," Logan expresses as his lips slightly tip upward. He presses his lips onto my shoulder. I smile, giggling, "Why?"

"Cause it doesn’t matter where I fuck you, there's nowhere I won't get hard looking at that pretty face of yours," he smiles dreamily, "And you're impractical wardrobe.”

I guffaw, "You truly have a way with words," I pause and smirk, "Mr. Howlett."

He rises onto his elbow with a devilish grin, "Now you're really asking for it princess."

[qcomicsy]

Not to be gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss, fleabag, black swan on main but I feel like we should explore more Wade Wilson femininity not only by his sexuality or his softness or his delicacy as Wade and Deadpool, but also his rage.

I'm saying that because he seems the exactly type of person who would hear a "You're acting crazy!" stop, turn to the person and say "I'll show you crazy" before setting fire in their clothes.

Give Wade the so called feminine rage he earned that shit.

[free-urban-clown]

the funniest rwby headcannon i've heard to date is that Gretchen (Hazel's sister) simply just had no landing strategy. She just got launched and went *SPLAT*. i love that discord server, some of the strangest people i exist near.

[crucifix-worm]

fuck it its real spideypool hours

I’m gonna make some personal HC designs

[smokeygrayrabbits]

I think Clint and Matt are peak frenemies and morons and they need more air time. so here's my contribution for the day ig

matt and Clint argue endlessly about the tv volume. it has devolved into elaborate games of hyper violent keep away on too many occasions, sometimes involving other street level buddies. usually peter and Kate.

they're go too excuse for why they know each other is that lucky is a service dog that they have joint custody of. Matt is allergic to dogs. they refuse to elaborate on the arrangement.

Clint fails at hiding in the vents in Matt's office all the time. Matt can hear you, dumbass. Clint keeps trying anyway. he's scaring off the clients.

the first time Clint heard people call Matt 'red' it was frank and he lost. his. shit. why doesn't he get to call Matt nicknames! unfair! discrimination! Matt systematically destroys all of Clint's attempts at nicknaming. it's become a Thing™. a competition. Clint has a whole corkboard dedicated to the cause.

they nap in dumpsters together. sometimes accompanied by peter. most pizza deliver guys in hells kitchen know not to question the requests to deliver pies to 'that one dumpster in that alleyway. thanks man your a real one'. anything is better than Deadpool's delivery instructions, which usually involve some kind of blessing over the pizza and lots of stair climbing to whatever weird hole he's staked out in.

Clint has broken into Matt's office so many times to either bring him either

a) weird things he found and wants Matt to guess what they are

or

b) increasingly stupid reasons Matt should help him sue the avengers into letting Clint retire no for real this time man. that didn't count I was mai not retired

[classicconundrum]

part 1

if any of these conflict canon material lmk

[burningsands99]

Literally all I can think about after rewatching the Deadpool movies is that Wade’s in a V

Like, he’s dating Vanessa and Colossus, but those two aren’t dating each other

I can’t explain why, but I live for them

[dreamslikesoapbubbles]

Y’all, when are we gonna show ryan reynolds all the spideypool shit?

[winfreywrites]

my 10 top marvel otps !!

loki x tony

spiderman x deadpool

tony x steve

steve x bucky

beast x simon/wonder man

enchantress x thor

black widow x hulk

thor x tony

natasha x bucky

sam x bucky

[fandomtrashfox]

MCU Supernatural headcanons

I’m mostly going off of vibe here. (Note: By ‘Supernatural’ I mean things like ghosts.)    Characters who believe in the Supernatural: Loki, Thor, Everyone on Asgard, Peter Parker, Gamora, Hulk, Bucky, T’challa, Scott, Wanda, Marc Spector, Steven Grant, Jake Lockley, Groot, Mantis, Darcy Lewis, Drax, Ned Leeds, Eddie Brock, Wade Wilson, Wong

   Characters who are undecided on the Supernatural: Vision, Bruce Banner, Steve, Natasha, Clint, Pietro, Rocket, Sam Wilson, James Rhodes, Carol Danvers, Nick Fury, Jane Foster, Phil Coulson, Yelena, MJ, Venom, Stephen Strange

   Characters who don’t believe in the Supernatural: Tony Stark, Hank Pym, Peter Quill, Nebula, Peggy Carter, Shuri?,

[your-next-daydream]

Deadpool's reaction to s/o wanting to learn sarcasm as they don't understand it.

I honestly admit I have no clue how to write for this ask so I did my best. Please let me know if it is not sufficient.

"you don't understand sarcasm?" Wade asked in response to you not understanding a sentence he has said. "Well I didn't mean that literally. Sarcasm is kind of like expressing that you don't like something without outright saying it I guess? Or just a way to mess with someone." He shrugged wrapping his arms around you from behind snaking his hands into your shirt. "I actually don't quite know how to explain it.

You nodded your head turning around to face him. "So is it kinda like the phrase "no shit Sherlock?" If so it's just a way to annoy someone or just to add more sass to a comment?" You looked down to where he stuffed his face into your stomach.

He lifted his head up slightly to meet your questioning stare. "I mean yeah I suppose that makes sense. I actually don't know how to explain it. Kinda just comes naturally to me." He muttered putting his head under your shirt this time. He chuckled darkly before starting to blow raspberries against your belly.

You started giggling taking your arms from around him to instead try and push him away. "Wade enough quit that!" You said in between breaths as he lifted you up throwing you on the couch. "I'm serious quit tickling me!"

"you see as much as I'd love to do that," he paused leaning up to tap his lip, "quite frankly I don't want to!" He shouted reaching his hands back under your shirt to resume his ministrations. "Oh there you go that's an example of sarcasm! I actually wouldn't love to stop tickling you!"

You grabbed his face pulling him down to kiss you and he stopped in his tracks. "Ok lesson learned professor now will you please quit?" You peered up at him sweetly.

He smirked placing both of his hands on the sides of your head. "Now when you ask like that how could I say no?" He murmurs leaning down to kiss you again before moving kisses down your jaw to your neck....

As short as that was I hope it suffices. Apologies for being so late!

[marvel-at-hogwarts]

Peter, Shuri, and Wade

Peter had a hard time getting used to this. Every time he walked into the Ravenclaw common room, he couldn't believe how many books that lined the walls. He swore that every time he came in here there must have been another book shelf of books added to it all.

And the view. He couldn't get over that. It was so different from the ground levelled view he had when he looked outside from the Hufflepuff common room. They were so high up. But whether it was higher up then the Gryffindor common room or not was often debated. Or maybe it was how tall the towers were. Peter honestly didn't really know which it was. He wasn't a Ravenclaw or a Gryffindor, so he was often excluded from things concerning the two houses.

Well, things that weren't the Ravenclaw common room.

He wasn't even supposed to be up here. Well if he was to point things out things that didn't belong then he would have to point out his best friend that stood beside him. The other Hufflepuff that stuck out like a soar thumb, yellow accented robes contrasting against the blue.

  "That's twenty to five now." Shuri said, a grin on her face. She pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket and a pen to add another tick that read 'Shuri'. The paper had various T-charts that kept track of all the games they had going. Games consisting of how many times they could prank people, how many different secret passages they could find, and the most recent one, how many times could they sneak the others into the common room they didn't belong in.

  "I swear you're cheating. Do you bribe all the prefects and the head of your house? I bet that you do. There's absolutely no other way you can go about this." Wade said, glaring at the paper, and specifically the T-chart that now read twenty to five. How could Shuri be so far ahead? She was sneaking two people into her common room when Peter and Wade only had to worry about sneaking in one.

Shuri barked a laugh. "Don't get angry just because I'm better than you." Even though she said it as if it was a complete sentence, Peter knew that she was talking about being better at the game. No matter what she portrayed, she didn't really think she was better than anyone. Or at least not completely, it was more of a pinky width better than everyone.

  "Better than me? Really now? Duel me then and we'll see who's better then." Wade said not even thinking about what he was saying. Peter shook his head and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder.

  "Dude, don't go down that road again. She beat you last time, remember? You even ended up in the hospital wing after tripping over your own wand." Peter made an attempt to hide his laugh at the memory. Although Shuri laughed freely.

  "To be fair, I only dropped it because she used Expelliarmus on me." Wade's words only made them laugh harder.

  "Alright, alright." Shuri said, after they calmed down a bit. "Let's get you guys out of here before I get in trouble."

Peter and did as told, leaving the Ravenclaw common room with Shuri close behind. As they left Wade gave one last shout. "Hufflepuffs in the common room! I repeat Hufflepuf-" the rest of his words were muffled for Peter and Shuri both covered his mouth with their hands.

[jhirowolf]

Drew something to celebrate Pride month 2023 and decided to post it here rather than Insta.

[paranormal-pajama-phantom]

headcannons for deadpool dating peter parkers older sibling??

yesss this is such a good idea

Deadpool X Peter Parker's Older Sibling

Peter would definitely not want you dating or even going near Deadpool

he thinks Wade is too much of a risk and will put you in danger

But no matter how hard Peter tries to convince you he never can

He starts out very cold to Wade but eventually just accepts that this is his new fate

Constantly gets into fights with Wade but the more time you and Wade are together the friendlier the fights become

Deadpool on the other hand thinks annoying Peter is hilarious and continues to do so, but he also tries to make sure not to cross a line

They're never gonna be best friends but if you do enough bonding exercises with them then they at least wont hate each other

Come back soon! 💌

[peoplesgraves]

Hi! Could you maybe write some headcannons for yan!deadpool with s/o who he kidnaps but they go on a hunger strike to gain their freedom?

Yandere Deadpool X Reader On A Hunger Strike Headcanons

•At first wayde wouldn’t worry about you not eating assuming that maybe your stomach hurt or you just were up to it. It’s probably around two days of not eating for wade to really notice.

•At first he’ll be gentle asking if you feel ok and checking your tempature once those come back ok then I think he’d assume it was his fault for not having something you’d wanna eat. He’d disappear for a bit and bring back your favorite food all while smiling cheekily and asking for a kiss in return.

•Then if you still don’t eat he’ll get really worried. He’ll beg you to eat and try to bribe you by offering to buy that new video game you’ve been eyeing or maybe a maybe a pet to keep you company?

•He’d slowly resort to trying to feed you himself first with cutesy airplane noises and then eventually tying you to a chair and literally forcing the food in your mouth. He doesn’t have the heart to do that to you again so he really hopes one time was enough for you to eat on your own.

•As an absolute last resort I think he’d call one of his shady contacts for help. Like placing a feeding tube until you prove you’ll eat on your own.

•Wade would be even sweeter than usual after that. Although he thinks this is just a natural consequence of your actions, he still feels awful. It’s a necessary evil.

•He’ll let you say or do whatever you want to him with no problem. Tell him how much you hate him until your lungs bleed or stab him with his own swords and he’ll just stand there and take it like a human punching bag but the second you do something hazardous to yourself, Wade will do anything to stop it.