#deepdepression

[kidmachinate]

Uncomfortably Numb

There's no words to describe how I feel. There's no picture to accurately paint what's happening. Day to day just feels the same. I'm deeply depressed and probably need to go back to therapy...but it isn't an option. For the better part of my lifetime, I've dedicated my life to one grand cause. Making a difference in people's lives. Smiles to faces. Somewhere in the midst of being nice where possible, giving second, third, and so on changes, pouring from my cup until empty and still trying to make it happen, I lost the plot. I snapped.

I tell myself I'm making a difference in my current job, but even that in some ways is starting to feel lifeless. Not because I don't have a supportive team but because I'm wondering what's the point of I don't see an end in sight. This is a space where I can be me but I don't even know what I currently am. I'm favoring experiences and food over gaming. Maybe this is a good thing. I decided over a year ago I'd try to start living life again. That I've got it figured out. I don't. I just seen like I do.

I handle life well but what's that even mean if I can't help myself? What's that mean if after all effort is done, you can't even convince someone that you love and care for them? One thing crumbles and suddenly you're wondering what else you're screwing up. Reminds me of school. Except I have good memories of school, despite the odds. Despite the bullies. Despite the toxic relationships. It was all worth it.

I hope I was able to do enough to make people feel heard. I listen more than I speak and lately I speak less unless it is online. I hate it. I used to have a voice. Now I barely make a sound. I don't know if any of this even makes sense. It may very well not. I'd say it is a phase but it doesn't pass. Maybe I have patterns of my own. Self suffering patterns. Self sabotage. Maybe I need help.

I know who I am but if I snap it's all out of place. Life got the best of me again. Let's pretend it's alright or ask others if they are in place of me not being okay. There are times of shows, times of dinners, times of bonding, times of spoken word, times of touch, time of intimacy. Plenty of times where it all seemed worth it. Plenty of times where life was worth living. Going hollow solves nothing but what am I so stubborn for? What exactly is the good fight? Why do I feel like I'm one of few who care about people's well being while so many are being selfish.

When did I start this bleak outlook I now have of the world, while still trying to retain the goodness in me? Is there any left to give? I'm self-aware enough to notice it all but not driven enough to care. Only just to do my sworn duty to make ends meet. Too bad loyalty doesn't pay. I wish I could cry. Maybe I'd feel better. Until then, I'm pushing forward. It's all I know and it's a long and lonely road.

My next post is likely to be the polar opposite of this as I'm in a pretty bad spot...if I can get myself out, I wonder what it will even look like. I'm curious enough about things to be ambitious just losing the drive to care. Already been told I've been isolated. Not trying to bring my problems to meet other problems. It's better I keep to myself and just help in bursts where I can. Keep just enough of a smile to fool the world and be productive to make ends meet.

[gabsternaut]

Been super obsessed with Love and Deepdepression Deepspace lately.

[sxbvshi]

Dzisiaj omówimy sobie teskt z numeru "Rany"

Teskt :

"Pisze to od nowa, no bo ciągle braknie słów, w głowie same dziury chciałbym przestać wreszcie czuć, myśli tak trujące az ocieka nimi ból, wspomnienia mnie niszczą no i wciąż brakuje tchu" - co do tego fragmentu mam zdanie, że autor ma spory mętlik w głowie, ocierajacy się w sumie o depresję zwłaszcza teskt " myśli tak trujące az ocieka nimi ból, wspomnienia mnie niszczą no i wciąż brakuje tchu" Cały numer utrzymany jest raczej w lekkik gitarowy (chyba xD) brzmieniu i daje dużo do myślenia, a wręcz skłania do refleksji. Trzymam kciuki o więcej takich utworów bo są naprawdę dobre, obecnie numer ma tylko 200 wyświetleń, moim zdaniem to stanowczo za mało. Piszcie co wy myślicie i jak wy interpretujecie ta piosenkę, ode mnie na dzisiaj to tyle, blog dopiero się rozwija i będę wdzięczna za kazda nawet najdrobniejszą pomoc.

DeepDepression

[wastedyouth-jpg-blog]

[reportodisha]

ଧିମା ପଡ଼ିପଡ଼ିଯାଛି ବାତ୍ୟା ‘ଜୱାଦ’ର ବେଗ : ଦୁର୍ବଳ ହୋଇ ତୀବ୍ର ଅବପାତ ରୂପରେ ପୁରୀର ନିକଟତର ହେବ

ନୂଆଦିଲ୍ଲୀ: ବଙ୍ଗୋପସାଗରରେ ସୃଷ୍ଟ ସାମୁଦ୍ରିକ ବାତ୍ୟା ‘ଜୱାଦ’ର ପ୍ରକୋପ ତଥା ବେଗ ମନ୍ଥର ହୋଇଯାଇଛି ଏବଂ ତାହା ଦୁର୍ବଳ ହୋଇ ତୀବ୍ର ଅବପାତ ରୂପରେ ପୁରୀର ନିକଟତର ହେବାର ସମ୍ଭାବନା ଥିବା କଥା ପାଣିପାଗ ବିଭାଗ ସୂତ୍ରରୁ ପ୍ରକାଶ। ସଦ୍ୟତମ ସୂଚନା ଅନୁସାରେ, ଗତ ୬ ଘଣ୍ଟା ମଧ୍ୟରେ ଘଣ୍ଟା ପ୍ରତି ୪ କିଲୋମିଟର୍‌ ବେଗରେ ସାମାନ୍ୟ ଉତ୍ତର ଆଡ଼କୁ ଗତି କରି ଆଜି ଭୋର୍‌ ୫.୩୦ ସୁଦ୍ଧା ସାମୁଦ୍ରିକ ବାତ୍ୟା ‘ଜୱାଦ୍’ ଦକ୍ଷିଣପୂର୍ବ ବିଶାଖାପାଟଣାରୁ ୨୩୦ କିଲୋମିଟର୍‌, ଗୋପାଳପୁର ଦକ୍ଷିଣରୁ ୩୪୦ କିଲୋମିଟର୍‌, ପୁରୀର ଦକ୍ଷିଣ-ଦକ୍ଷିଣପୂର୍ବକୁ ୪୧୦ କିଲୋମିଟର୍‌ ଏବଂ  ପାରାଦୀପର ଦକ୍ଷିଣ-ଦକ୍ଷିଣପଶ୍ଚିମକୁ ୪୯୦ କିଲୋମିଟର ଦୂରରେ କେନ୍ଦ୍ରୀଭୂତ ହୋଇଛି।   Read the full article

[theshadowstep]

I’ve just had enough, 😔 I’m tired of everything, nothing is going right… #deepdepression #anxiety #sad #depression https://www.instagram.com/p/CRKJqWvrHOZ/?utm_medium=tumblr

[my-youngworld88]

~The Dream of Darkness~ The plague of my dark mind runs deep into my soul, In the dim lights of those deep dark thoughts, In my mind, there’s darkness seeping into my reality, It rattled my mind, It blackened my soul, The deep darkness of my dreams, Blackened my reality… https://myyoungworldblog.wordpress.com/2019/09/22/the-dream-of-darkness/ #poem #poetry #author #authorofinsragram #blog #blogging #blogger #writing #writer #writerofinstagram #dark #darkpoetry #darkness #deep #deepdepression #ink #poem #poetofinstagram #spilledink #spilledthoughts #spilledwords #words #wordsbyjaneeng #janeengwriter https://www.instagram.com/p/CFtIDWdsJee/?igshid=1uuxidkty9ew3

[bezphotoz]

Life hits you so hard sometimes you just wanna sleep all your problems away and wake up like everything is I okay I know I have.. but once you wake up it only feels like more pressure or weight added to the situation now instead of sleep you just wanna feel numb.... #thisislosangeles #bezphotoz #nikon #deepdepression #homelessinamerica (at Los Angeles, California) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9Xi2kXANyF/?igshid=8pz3g675yqew

[chrisleno]

“Democracy dies in darkness”🤔 #thewashingtonpost #newspaper #dmv #governmentshutdown #aynrand #deepdepression #americaissuffering #gottaholdon https://www.instagram.com/p/Bsvg6IXFYXH/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=ikjrheu9y93h

[erza-jane-blog]

“The kind and caring never survive in this world only the cruel and the wicked~”

[sunnysunflower444]

it’s crazy how the mind can convince you that you have no one when you are completely surrounded by so many people who love you #depression #deepdepression #lost #low

[sxbvshi]

Dzisiaj na warsztat weźmiemy sobie piosenkę "Prawda"

Teskt (Genius Lyrics) :

Prawda

Sxbvshi

PRAWDA LYRICS

Chciałem mieć miasta, ale teraz nie mam tu nic

To nie jest bajka, powtarzam tekst, nie wiesz nic

Nie byłaś warta, nie byłaś warta co tu kryć

Na zawsze prawda na zawsze i nie tylko dzis (x2)

Na zawsze prawda, czemu kłamiesz skoro wstaje swit ?

Nie chce byc soba, chce być mala zawsze tam gdzie Ty

Spoglądam w gwiazdy, kiedy często brakuje mi sil

Wychodzę nocą, żeby jakoś dalej tutaj żyć

Dla Ciebie tracki, to po prostu jest kolejny track

Dla mnie to wszystko co mogę od życia tu Ci dac

Te wszystkie słowa, zapisane jakby porwał wiatr i ta nadzieja ze po śmierci jescze inny świat

"PRAWDA" TRACK INFO

Produced By metlast

Written By sxbvshi

Release DateMay 20, 2020

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Osobiście uważam ze to chyba najlepsza piosenka jaka do tej pory wypuścił sxbvshi trochę za krótka, ale od czego jest zapetlanie ^^

Ogólnie nutka utrzymana jest w dość stanowczym brzmieniu i słychać w tym szczerość, podoba mi się że nie jest to typowy love-song, zresztą jesli sledzicie jego story na ig to znacie jego zdanie na ten temat.

[wastedyouth-jpg-blog]

called life.

[kalaschnikid2000]

Contact me if you need help my number is +491757752752 and my insta the same name as here and kik kellerhochzeit777

[cocajames]

🚨You are listening to "Locked up!"🚨 ⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬ By the warrior princess @nomadicdevine ⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬ Come out and see her perform LIVE!!!!! ⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫ Sunday, Dec. 10th 2017🚨 ⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬ Ice Cream Sunday Part2 with @wigginnoutradio_melodyallen ⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫ #Headliner @qurfew ⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫ Hosted by former Promotions at Death Row Records and CEO of Supreme Entertainment LLC Bryant Williams (@bryantswilliams ) ⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫ #insomnia #immyownhero #truth #stressed #blessed #heartbroken #onelove #life #deepdepression #trapped #lost #suicidal #selfhate #Iwanttodie #Idontwanttodie #drugs #pills #selfharm #scars #panic #anxietyon #aesthetic #Manic #bipolar #alternativemind #sociallyakward #socialoutcast #broken #LockedUpInMyOwnMind (at Universal Bar & Grill)

[douapparel-blog]

🚨You are listening to "Locked up!"🚨 ⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬⏬ By the warrior princess @nomadicdevine ⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫⏫ #insomnia #immyownhero #truth #stressed #blessed #heartbroken #onelove #life #deepdepression #trapped #lost #suicidal #selfhate #Iwanttodie #Idontwanttodie #drugs #pills #selfharm #scars #panic #anxietyon #aesthetic #Manic #bipolar #alternativemind #sociallyakward #socialoutcast #broken #LockedUpInMyOwnMind