#def as someone that deals with panic attacks

[ohraicodoll]

Be Still

(Gif Credit Joel-Miller) Joel Miller x fem!reader The Last of Us (Show/Game) 1.4k Words (3rd POV) Summary: It takes her a while to see what’s happening to him. Joel is having a panic attack.  (I’ve never written so fast but had to after watching ep 6!!)

It happened twice before she realized what it was.

At first she worried it was a heart attack. That Joel was having a heart attack in the middle of the forest and she wouldn’t be able to do anything about it. It wasn’t a knife wound or gunshot, nothing she could patch up and stitch together. She hadn’t been a doctor in any life, was more skilled in killing than healing, and they didn't have medicine to give him. His age had never been a thing she cared about or was too concerned with. The world wore them down equally, harshly, and he always seemed to defy the number. Was stronger than anyone his age like through his rage he could defy his body. It wasn’t a heart attack though. She could see the bright whites of his eyes, the way they unfocused and his breath would hitch under the press of his hand against his chest. The shallow breaths coming in and out in frantic off-kilter beats. It wasn’t the cold like he tried to play it off as, wasn’t his age or at least not entirely. Panic attack. Joel Miller was having panic attacks and was trying his best to hide them. They’d started after a few close calls. Ellie getting hit or her almost getting her head shot off. Running from a small horde that had built up inside a locked shop they’d inadvertently let loose. The more close calls they had, the more she could see his anxiety build up. And now it was flooding over, manifesting in a way she was startled to see in the man who always seemed like an impenetrable fortress. He was never afraid. But that was fear in his eyes as he rubbed his hand over and over against his chest, staring at the infected at her feet sporting a new bullet hole. So close. It’d been so close to her. Had dropped out of the second floor window of the cabin they stood outside of. And she hadn’t reacted fast enough but he had. Her eyes took in the way he stared, the hollow blank gaze, the twisting of his lips as they shook. Panic. There was panic and fear there. “Ellie, go clear out that shack and start laying out camp for the night,” she ordered and tried to keep her voice steady, not wanting to give away that anything was up, “We’ll clean this up and patrol the grounds real fast.” The teen sighed audibly and tucked her gun away into her pocket overdramatically, not noticing Joel’s silence as she walked towards the small open shack a dozen yards away. The house the infected had come from was dilapidated, all the windows broken and looking like it was sinking in on itself. Not the safest. As soon as the girl was a good distance away and out of direct view, she walked towards Joel slowly as if approaching a skittish animal. His breath was a wheeze in the silence and he almost jumped when her hands reached out and touched his cheek. “Sit, come on. Nice and slow, just sit on the ground,” she coaxed him, cupping his face and drawing his attention away from the dead body. His eyes were glazed but he sank to his knees, hard and crunching the dried leaves. He was still upright, not allowing himself to fall onto his heels and sit completely, so she followed his lead. Knees to knees, her breath mingled with his and one hand went over the ones clutched to his chest, “Come on, Miller, I need you to take deep breaths in and deep breaths out. In through your nose and out through your mouth.” He was shaking, fingers digging into his shirt like he wanted to try and claw his heart out. His beard was rough against her palm, the silver hairs catching the dying light. Joel looked so lost. He never looked like that, was a constant pillar of confidence against the world. Unshakeable. To see him look that way, scared for the first time in a long while, had something twist inside her. His breaths were still shallow, lips quivering, so she mimicked the routine. Loud breaths in, deep sighs out, “You gotta breathe for me, Joel. In and out, real steady.” Awareness was slowly seeping into his eyes and her fingers slipped between his, clutched in his grasp. He focused on her and started to breathe, swallowing heavily. They were broken, stuttered gasps but he was trying. Her hand stayed on his cheek and she could feel each attempt, see the color and life come back to him. “There you are,” she whispered with a gentle smile, one that was usually reserved for Ellie. Joel never liked things gentle, rejected softness, so she had never offered it. Everything between them was rough, brutal, from the way they fought to how he would smash his mouth against hers during those tiny moments of privacy. 

They had hated each other and then…they didn’t. But it was never gentle, wasn’t love or even affection. 

She didn’t expect to be the one to keep him from breaking apart. His breathing was getting steadier, more confident. She almost smiled wider, “Okay. Go over the supplies we have in the first aid kit.” A furrow appeared between his brows, the first hint of Joel coming back, “What?” “Just do it, Tex,” it was a command but stayed coaxing, soft even as his fingers gripped her own so hard her bones protested. His eyes flickered all over while he struggled to think and her forehead came to rest against his, “Five things then in the kit.” Their matched breathing warmed her and with a stutter, Joel started listing things. Gauze. Tape. Needle and thread. Scissors. Tweezers. “Technically, that’s six,” she smirked and was pleased that by the end of the list, his breathing was back to normal and he was no longer shaking. “You can’t have a needle without thread. It’s one item,” Joel huffed roughly, not much humor in the comment. Silence took them over and neither moved. She knew his knees had to be hurting against the cold hard ground because hers were starting to, but she didn’t want to be the first one to pull away. She’d stay kneeling there all night if it was what he needed because somewhere along the lines of months they’d all been traveling, Joel had become one of hers. Not only Ellie, but this gruff older man who bit off her head yet gave her the bigger pieces of jerky and would sometimes stop her to kneel and tie her shoes for her. He took care of them both. In the dark he shared his favorite bands growing up and in the light acted like the sight of her made him angry. And now holding him after seeing him deal with a panic attack, she wondered how much of what he felt was hidden under layers and layers. If she’d ever actually get to know Joel and not only what he wanted her to see. Because he wasn’t unstoppable, wasn’t fearless. He was petrified. Slowly, she leaned forward and grazed his nose with her own. The prickle of his mustache and beard against her skin drove tingles across her skin, his breath warm against her lips. He didn’t stop her, didn’t shove her away and walk off even after she’d witnessed a vulnerability. Instead he leaned forward and met her lips with his, the barest of touches. More a press than an actual kiss. It was the gentlest thing she ever felt from the man and it seemed to do more than all the times he tasted her skin and pressed his tongue against her. She pressed harder, kissed him deeper, and tried to pour out everything she knew he would reject out loud. You’re okay. I’m okay. I’ve got you. His hand gripped hers but softened in answer. They wouldn’t talk about it. She knew as much not to push that. But he didn’t try to play it off and instead let her keep that secret of his and take on its burden. It was one of the few things they shared and she would guard it, guard him as fiercely as that little girl.

Even after she broke their kiss, gave him a small smile and helped him get to his feet so they could go check on Ellie, he didn’t let go of her hand.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA if I date someone as a phobia desensitization?

Background- I (26F) have never really dated/ been in a relationship. I've went on a few dates in the past but my anxiety gets so bad I freeze up. Or I panic and ghost the dude. I've had severe social anxiety since HS- at my worst I would call myself borderline agoraphobic. Tho over the past few years I've made a lot of progress (ty therapy). The thing thats actually helped me most in dealing with my anxiety is practice, just putting myself out there more and working thru the fear instead of avoiding it. like exposure therapy for social interactions. That's only for casual/freindly relationships tho, when things get more intimate/romantic any confidence I've gained goes out the window and I just want to hide

Now- I got asked out recently by a coworker of mine and hes really sweet, but I've been having panic attacks even thinking about it. I think I should say yes bc I'm supposed to and bc i could use the practice. But I'm not actually interested in him

I actually think I might be ace maybe?like part of why I've never dated or had sex is pure lack of interest. Not totally sure bc how can I know I don't want something I've never had lol. But I'm def not looking for a relationship, casual or serious.

So, am I leading this guy on if I agree to go on the date? Idk whats normal but it feel scummy, like im just using him. But is that what a date is?

If I do go, how honest do I have to be with him abt my lack of experience? bc it's kind of embarrassing and not really important

Am I overthinking things? (Probably)

TLDR should I go on a date with someone if I'm not interested, just to get some practice?

What are these acronyms?

[butternutsquashthesenutz]

RWRB hcs probably pt. 1-

•After they get married everyone (mostly June and Nora) started calling Alex princess. Like, "shut up, princess"

•Henry has read MANY fanfics and written several of his own. This includes a secret five chapter story about him and Alex that stays hidden in the depths of his computer

•I know Taylor Swift is a controversial topic in this fandom, but you cannot tell me Henry "queer historian, writer, and dramatic gay boy" would not jam out to and cry over ts songs alone in his room

•David loves cuddling with Alex, and Henry calls him a traitor, but really he finds it adorable

•Alex has definitely brought some feral animal home that he found on the street hoping to save it and raise it as a pet, and then Henry made him give it to the shelter and he cried all night

•June and Nora get a cat. That's it. They're just cat moms

•When Pez, June, and Nora are all in the same place, they are most likely gonna sleep together

•Phillip gets better and he and Henry are able to work on mending their relationship after Mary dies and neither of them have to deal with her manipulation and abuse

•Alex posts lots of thirst traps, and Henry dies every time

•Alex calls Henry lots of pet names I'm Spanish, and also just in general talks to him a lot in Spanish. Henry has very low understanding of what Alex is saying for the first couple years, but he still melts

•Henry eventually tries to learn Spanish and after a while he can carry a conversation. Oscar often makes fun of his pronunciation though

•Alex is an apple user Henry is an android user. They argue about it often

•Alex's shit got rocked when Hamilton came out. He saw it 10 times

•They continue to have a New Year's party for several years after Ellen leaves office.

•They have a daughter and a son, the son is Henry and June's biologically, and the daughter's Alex and Bea's biologically. Both are referred to as aunt though. Also they used IVF not sex, just to be clear.

•When Alex turns 35, a petition is spread around social media trying to get him to run for president. It gets double the needed signatures, but he doesn't end up running.

•Alex usually tops, but not always. Henry is usually more dominant though.

•I know in cannon Bea gets married to someone (presumably a man) but I hc that she's also gay and meets a girl whose picking her friend up from and na meeting. (Idk, I have a whole story set out for Bea's love life)

•Not really a hc, but Henry has def ridden Alex while wearing a cowboy hat

•Pez always buys the children of the super six super lavish and expensive gifts when ever he visits, and becomes the favorite of the aunts and uncles

•After their first fight once married, Alex has a huge panic attack thinking they won't make it together, but Henry calms him down and it doesn't happen again

•Zhara and Shaan have a daughter who is the scariest little girl in the world. Alex is legitimately scared to get on her bad side.

•David has his own insta account and he has many photos in little outfits

•Henry and Alex write letters to each other every time one of them has to go somewhere for work, just for old times sake

•Henry's first novel absolutely kills all the queer teens, and is basically that universe's RWRB

•Alex often steals Henry's Jaffa cakes and won't ever admit it. Henry knows, and he finds it adorable

•Ever so often Alex will get super into some new topic and do loads of research, and write essays or make presentations on it and then share it with Henry so he can teach him everything he now knows.

•Lowkey canon, but Henry's a Maurauders era fan

•He's also a Tumblr girly and has had a secret blog for years

•The super six do slideshow nights, here's an example of one of those nights: Henry: People from History You Didn't Know Where Queer, Nora: The Statistical Likelihood of Each of Us Releasing a Rap Album, Pez: Rating Everyone's Exes, Bea: The Most Embarrassing Stories About Henry I Can Think of, Alex: Hottest Politicians Around the World, June: The Most Embarrassing Stories About Alex I Can Think of (Her and Bea worked together)

•Occasionally Henry will use an American term (like saying chips when he meant crisps) and Alex will use a British term (like jumper instead of sweater), and both get very upset when it happens (whoever didn't slip up finds it hilarious)

•They joke around whenever a gossip site releases an article about their relationship, like, "oh look, I've apparently left you and headed back to England after you cheated on me" "oh, good for you, that was a rude thing for me to do"

[differenteagletragedy]

Baxter was a big believer in fate. Fate, magic, things happening when they were destined to happen, the universe letting things fall into place in its own time. In his darkest moments, it kept him sane, and in his brightest, it made him happy.

But then he lost you. And now he doesn’t believe in anything anymore.

It had been years since he'd put you in the ground -- which meant years since he'd last seen your smile, since he last held you. Your scent had lingered in the home you shared for a while after, but that was long gone now too. There were days when it felt like the thin gold band on his left ring finger was the only thing that tethered him to the earth. Without it -- without the tangible proof he could see whenever he wanted that you'd been here with him, that you'd loved him enough to promise him forever, even though neither of you had known how short "forever" would be -- he wasn't sure where he'd be.

In that time, he'd tried different things to soothe himself. He'd left all your belongings out, and when it didn't work, when seeing your toothbrush in the bathroom and your clothes in the closet tricked his brain into thinking that you'd come home, of course you'd come home, he boxed everything up and stuck it all in the guest room. Seeing his apartment back in its original state just reminded him of how lonely he was before you came back to him though -- after a prolonged panic attack and untold hours spent sobbing on the floor with your things strewn around him, he realized that didn't quite work either.

He tried visiting your grave regularly, bringing flowers and keeping it neat. He tried spending time with your friends and your family, and going to places that you loved and listening to your favorite songs ... nothing did the trick. Nothing soothed the ache you'd left him with.

Eventually, Baxter decided that he'd hurt long enough. It wasn't that he wanted to forget you, he'd never want that, it was that he simply couldn't survive if he continued living for someone who was dead.

Practicing breathing and grounding exercises he'd learned in therapy, he started by going through the boxes in the guest room. He carefully selected items -- the photos, some keepsakes from the wedding, a shirt of yours that he'd let himself hold onto if things got bad again -- and the rest, he took to your mothers.

He didn't renew his lease. He sold his car, he quit his job. And he left.

Baxter was nearly 40 when he met someone new -- someone that stoked a fire deep inside of him that he'd been sure had long been extinguished. He'd lived on the east coast for a few years by then, picked up a new career that didn't have him dealing directly with love every day. He lived in a one bedroom apartment, having lost all hope of needing a guest room, and now he wore his wedding ring on a chain around his neck.

It was difficult at first -- of course it was, falling in love after all this time. He'd made phone calls to Xavier, who remained his best friend, as well as Jude and Scott, desperately looking for some perspective. It was Jude who finally managed to get through to him. You'd want him to be happy, he'd told Baxter. You wouldn't want him to be alone.

For a while, he was scared that he was replacing you, that somehow you'd see what he was doing and be upset with him. He was careful not to do the same things he'd done with you, to almost not show the same side of himself that only you had known, but that didn't work. He was, for better or for worse, still himself.

But this new person was remarkably patient, and so respectful of you -- they'd found out about you early on, through conversation and through the ring he still wore around his neck. They were gentle and loving and kind, and Baxter felt himself giving into the comfort. To the happiness.

It felt strange, and he fought the feeling, probably for too long. But they stayed with him. They saw in him what you had all those years ago, they were able to look past his walls and his trauma and defenses, the at times pretentious and constantly terrified exterior and inside to the all the parts that were left -- and they saw beauty in those parts. They loved him even though he was broken.

One day, like it was nothing, Baxter woke up feeling lighter. Like somehow a fog that had, at this point, been around him for almost all his life had started lifting. He expected to feel scared without the familiarity of the weight on his chest, but he didn't. He felt free.

Alone in his bedroom, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, then got up and started unbuttoning his pajama top, getting ready for a shower. As he slid the shirt off his shoulders, he saw something glitter in the reflection of a mirror.

His wedding ring.

He paused, considering. Then he went back towards the bed. Kneeling, he reached under the bed and pulled out a box, then sat on the floor and opened up. Almost ritualistically, he ran his graceful fingers along the box's contents. A khaki shirt, worn for a day then carefully laundered and folded for a keepsake. An invitation for a wedding that was supposed to be the official start of the rest of his life before everything turned sideways. A cheap feather boa from half a lifetime ago.

As he looked over everything, that familiar ache bubbled up inside of him, but it was bearable this time. It didn't leave him doubled over and weeping -- it hurt, but it was ok, because it had to be. Because he had to keep moving.

With careful hands, he reached up and slid off his necklace. He put the ring in his palm, studying it. Remembering.

Then he put it in the box.

Baxter was ready to move on. Not to forget -- never to forget -- but to heal. To make himself into a person that you'd be proud of again. To open his heart fully to love, because from the beginning, that's all you ever wanted him to do.

[reinersprozacbottle]

Porco Galliard Fluff alphabet ･ﾟ･(｡>ω<｡)･ﾟ･

This is my first official headcanon so I take recommendations/feedback by ask or dms if you’re nice lol. Keep in mind these are canon!verse headcanons. I feel like we don’t have enough of those. We love Porco over here so this was fun to make.

No warnings very sfw

Enjoy!🤍

A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?

So i def see Porco as a super romantic guy when he’s head over heals for his s/o. Not that he’s doesn’t put efforts on dates otherwise but if he IS he’ll organize walks around his city, picnics, restaurant dates, he’ll buy them flowers pretty much every time they hangout as if he’s on a first date trying to impress them

B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?

He thinks that the way his s/o looks at him longingly is the most beautiful sight ever.

C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?

Realistically, during a panic attack, he wouldn’t know what to do or say in the beginning of the relationship. He would be so awkward and just hold them the entire time but as he gets to know them better and their relationship gets stronger, he starts to help them slow their breathing, help them focus on the present moment and give them reassuring words like : “There you go, baby.” “I’m so proud of you. You’re doing great.”

D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?

Ok so obviously canon!verse Porco sadly only sees the relationship as short term since he knows he won’t live for long. Part of him wishes there could be a cure or something just so he could live a long life with them but, hey…

E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?

I picture Porco as rather passive because despite his tough/cocky exterior, when it comes to his lover he very much turns into a puddle. You’ll hear “yes ma’am 🙄” a lot if they’re a girl lol.

F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?

Yes!! Because of what I said above. They would have to say something very insulting for him to have difficulty forgiving them. A scenario I imagine would tip him over is if his lover is not Eldian and shares how they are tired that the people of Paradis get treated as a punching bag and abruptly cuts him off when he tries to retort by asking him how he can speak about his own people that way. They call him a “self-hating Eldian” and he very much takes it the wrong way. It would take him a couple days before he forgives them but at least it would make him think. (Should I turn this into a fic?????)

G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?

He is very grateful but honestly just for their existence??? For being his partner?? Having someone love him in that way and getting to have a passionate romantic relationship even tough he’s a warrior makes him feel really privileged. He legit worships his beloved because of that.

H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?

Not necessarily secrets but he has a hard time expressing/sharing his emotions and fears.

I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?

They made him better </3 He is clearly happier, let’s people into his life more, they’ve made him think about how he was groomed from a young age to pay for the sins of his ancestors and how messed up that is. But mostly, they made him feel like a human being.

J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?

YEEEESS is that not obvious I mean look at him

It’s def so much fun to watch him try to hide it tho

K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?

Yes, he’s a great kisser. The first kiss was very tender and sweet. He really couldn’t believe his life at that moment (lol) and wanted to savour every moment.

L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?

“It’s hard for me to describe how I feel and I have no real future ahead of me, but you’re everything to me”.

M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?

Yes!!!!!! He dreams of it. The wedding would be small with just his warrior friends and his closest family members but all he wants to do is to stare at the ring on his partner’s fingers at the end of the ceremony.

N icknames - What do they call their s/o?

“Babe”, “Baby”, “Beautiful” in the morning AaahHhGhh

O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?

He tries to keep the relationship lowkey because… he is who he is BUT it’s actually hilarious how obvious it is to his friends and comrades that he’s head over heels in love.

He expresses his love physically the best because he lowkey hates how red and hot he gets when he has to tell his lover how much he adores them.

P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?

Like I said earlier he is trying to keep things under the radar BUT he always compliments them whether they’re in the room or not to a point where Zeke rolls his eyes at the millionth mention of how “smart” and “brave” they are. So no PDA.

Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship

His commitment

R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?

VERY, VERY cliché romantic guy think roses, cute nicknames, cooking, drawing a bath for you, foot massages😮‍💨❤️‍🔥

S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?

He doesn’t really have the time to help them but is always supporting them and reminds them that they can achieve anything they put their heart into.

T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?

Unfortunately, because of his lifestyle he cannot afford to “switch it up” here and there but he would definitely prefer to.

U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?

He knows them better than anyone else whether they’re an open book or more reserved. He doesn’t even have to spend a lot of time with them, he just does.

V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?

Warriors don’t have a lot going for them aside from shallow admiration from fellow Eldians, and the love from their family and friends (if they have any). That is the reason why after his relationship with his mother, his genuine, heart felt romantic relationship is the most important.

W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.

So one time after a warrior mission, he came home very wounded to the point where he was healing very slowly and his titan scars were still on his face. Fortunately, his s/o was there and took care of him also drowning him in kisses. He was taken aback by the fact that despite his very hollow cheeks and overall scary titan-esque look, they still wanted to show him affection that way.

X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?

Yes it’s his favorite thing to do he’s legit a teddy bear

Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?

He will read the romantic letters they send him. He’s not really one to write letters but he will enjoy reading them before going to bed.

Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?

Yes he will make sure by any means necessary that you work out what’s wrong in your relationship. Like that man would stop at nothing it’s kinda scary.

Thank you for reading!! Prompts by @/snk-warriors

[tea-and-finalfantasy]

some nsfw/18+ hcs for bi-han, kuai liang, and tomas

kept it to one-ish idea for each under the cut so it didn't get excessively long for each. will write more, just not all in one post

Bi-Han

especially angry when horny, doesn't know how to like. ask or be normal about his own urges (not out of a moral flaw or failure/is a genuine issue), so he just gets frustrated and distant until it's like alright we both know you can't be acting like this and he knows and pouts about it but is relieved someone knows how to fucking fix this

it's anger that stems from anxiety over showing what he perceives as weakness/is anger so he doesn't appear as anxious as he is

definitely worse if he wants to receive or sub but still has frustration towards desire at all, is afraid of being vulnerable, of feeling too deeply if it's not fury, of giving into something instead of controlling it

even if he were to go out and have a hookup and be the dominant party and engage in like, degrading someone, he'd still walk away feeling unsure and overwhelmed like he fucked up something somehow, like he can never be as seamlessly in control as he feels he has to

plus he's. stubborn and rude but knows not to treat someone poorly when it's not like, mutual hatred or a fight--like yes he lashes out and is bad to people who care about him BUT it's usually bc he feels he's trying to steer them towards something better? he wants kuai liang to join him and expresses this by being harsh and cold in the hopes that his brother will change his mind. he's rude to tomas when their opinions clash but also has expressed he doesn't wish to see him harmed

so i mean that he knows he has to provide aftercare and will also avoid sex and love because he knows he won't be able to do that properly

he doesn't feel confident that he can support people in the emotional way that they'll need--and is scared of being cared for in that way and feeling vulnerable from it--so even if he wanted to seek out hookups, he can't

then with established relationships, like childhood friends or confidants, he feels he can't be weak as he's only ever been strong so either way, he's unable to lean into being vulnerable

he's been operating on these assumptions for so long that even being cared for and being made to feel safe is gonna set off a panic attack because it's different and unfamiliar and the fear of being ridiculed or humiliated or taken advantage of when he thought he was safe is too much for him to risk it

can manage jerking himself off sometimes without feeling too horrible about it but usually either does it and feels guilty or worse--can't get off as he's too tense and thinking too much about just needing to get off as quickly as possible and can't manage to do it

which means he just gets more pent up and angry, goes to train to blow off steam, can't relax after training, can't sleep because he can't relax, trains again to see if it helps--and it's a vicious cycle of overworking himself until he's so exhausted he finally can sleep + trying to find as many distractions as possible to avoid dealing with his emotions

i def think locktober (feat. prostate milking but no actual orgasms) + no nut November (feat. some ruined orgasms at the end before finally getting off after two months of edging) would definitely get his head on straight

like it's a regimented, more procedural kind of denial, like a schedule or a game, and isn't necessarily self-imposed or doesn't have to be--as opposed to him setting detrimental rules and standards for himself and never letting up

like it turns something he's doing that's stressing him out and upsetting him into something with a timeline and something that, at least at first when he's never done it, someone else will take care of for him and help guide him towards choices that might challenge him but won't break boundaries

like it helps set up boundaries he didn't know he had, helps him relinquish control in a way that doesn't make him completely at someone else's mercy but allows them to choose what's best for him (like he can opt out of things but might be encouraged to try something new)

very mellowed out for a while after that lol

plus it'd be easy for someone to be like "do you need me to take care of you?" and he knows that he's safe in someone else's hands no matter what someone chooses to do with him or what it might usually entail (prostate milking with an actual orgasm either at the end of it or the morning after/a few rounds of ruined orgasms and then a successful one, short bursts of chastity at times where he can decide if he wants to try and break his record or just take it easy and hold off for a week) so he's not just overwhelmed and without a plan

and then he knows what makes him feel better and can request it nonverbally until he feels more capable to speak up, if he ever feels comfortable doing so. either way, he's able to express a desire and not feel overwhelmed by the request, the act, or the aftermath

Tomas

loves receiving oral and knows what he wants when getting it

loves facefucking/taking the lead and fucking someone's mouth while they just keep it open for him

enjoys both a slow pace and a fast pace but always lapses into a softer attitude afterwards, especially if he's been more dominant about it

(see his fatality where he shoves the grenade in someone's mouth. that kind of dominance and focus on oral lol)

with either situation, he keeps his grip firm and his pace even (worried that sporadic thrusts would be harder not to gag on) and is very aware of what he's doing so he doesn't hurt someone or make them choke unless that's what they're going for

even if he's the one keeping the pace, he can get really vocal in a submissive way/not necessarily in a dominant way even if given that control

if he's submissive about it, he moans and whines a lot, begs for things he's already getting as if it could never be enough or like he'll be denied it eventually, gasps and bites his lip and throws his head back--is both very physical and vocal

again, knows he shouldn't break pace unless someone won't gag or is okay with that so he shows desperation/need/lapses in control in how he speaks and moans instead of how he moves

if he does feel like being dominant, his neediness is expressed more through a faster, rougher pace than anything else

he'll do more coherent talking too lol, like praising someone for how good they're being, how good they feel, how much he likes seeing them drool like that--that there's no way for him to facefuck them and for them to come out of it looking like anything but a total mess and he loves that debauched look on them/that they're made for it

the extent of any meanness is pushing himself to the back of their throat and telling them to hold it, to be good and breathe through their nose, and i think he'd consider holding their nose for a moment, just to see them get uncomfortable at the action, but not enough to actually impact their breathing as it'd break immersion for him and he'd get nervous

if something like that is wanted from him (like that kind of force/fear or if someone really wants to gag around him), there'll be the expectation that he can't keep up the strict act for long because he starts getting nervous lol

like you'll get a firm pace but nothing painful or a pace that's hard to keep up with and lots of praise for it--not pain and coldness, even in a made up scene unless it's really fleeting/not for the entirety of the scene

not that topdrop is entirely unavoidable if he doesn't do that but he knows he'll start to feel gross if he's expected to be uncaring so it's a boundary not to be pushed more than that

again, softens into subservience afterwards in appreciation for getting to indulge and because it's a comfortable headspace for him/it helps him get back to baseline

loves to do stuff like eat someone out after he's cum in them (any hole) or clean them up with his tongue after they've cum and made a mess of themselves (again, can be eating someone's pussy post-orgasm, ringing his tongue around the tip of someone's cock, etc.)

likes to get himself dirty and really get his face in there, likes when a partner wraps their legs around his head and forces him in there as he usually starts more gingerly

wants to get covered in whatever fluid or ejaculate you got (if it's arousal fluid from being wet or squirt or cum or christ, sweat and musk and piss even--he wants to pull away and be soaked in it)

Kuai Liang

cockwarming is his favorite thing--either taking it into his mouth and fitting his nose right up to a partner's pubic hair, sitting there and being watched and having his hair played with and being praised

(it can be an actual cock or silicone, doesn't matter the length and includes t-dick--would definitely be interested in doing that with someone's clit even without bottom growth as it's more about intimacy and closeness and praise than anything else but he does like having his mouth full too and would want to engage in that just as well)

or getting filled up with something and being able to relax, maybe sucking on someone's fingers too to occupy his mouth at the same time

just likes getting his holes filled!

probably hasn't considered having a cock/toy in his ass and having fingers in his mouth and having his dick in someone else but would definitely need to do that without much in the way of prior stimulation as it'd be way too much all at once having gotten worked up beforehand (unless he's aiming for overstim)

would absolutely benefit from looking into toys like buttplugs because he could do stuff whenever he feels like it, rather than needing a partner to be free for it, but feels nervous about biting the bullet and entering that search/about realizing he can do things for pleasure even without a partner present

like he's not prudish but definitely has some sort of hang up, as his brother has his anger. maybe it's more concern over pursuing physical pleasure (or pleasure of any kind) because he feels he's not supposed to or allowed to. like he's so worried about so much that he assumes it's a distraction or that his life is so set for servitude that he shouldn't be indulging in personal needs--

even though he doesn't hold anyone else to this standard (like if tomas was forgoing pleasure or good food or any other needs, he'd be beside himself--he wouldn't want presence within the lin kuei to mean abstinence or strict rules, in general and as that's how bi-han wrongfully views it)

even though he's starting to realize that it's not something he can just smother and push aside/that his insistence that he doesn't need something is actually more of a distraction or preoccupation than actually giving in to it

doesn't know it's a thing but is so needy for it once he figures out it is--getting plugged but then later, when it gets taken out so he can get fucked, getting gagged with the same plug that was just inside him

it's degrading and humiliating and dizzying in how inappropriate it feels but he wants it more than anything and how can something he asks for so desperately--too shy to do so verbally but knowing its out and just getting those needy, hopeful eyes at the possibility of it being placed right back inside him but in his mouth--be anything but exactly what he's made for?

will whine and grind his hips into the bed and suck on it diligently, caught between being good and giving into overwhelming desire--wanting so badly to be used and filled and forced to be quiet but being unable to keep from being loud and restless and impatient

in a more social kink sense, absolutely has an oral fixation where being gagged calms him down, makes him feel quiet and floaty and small but very much cared for, like he settles immediately into subspace and it's nice to have that to rely on when things get too much and without the expectation of having it develop into anything. like he can just chill for a while and then take it out and come out of it and go to bed or something, not needing to make it sexual if he doesn't want to

so of course he has a couple masks with different gags on the inside depending on what he feels like putting in his mouth

they're probably much less ornate (detailed ones with gags reserved for more involved play) and are sewn fabric on the outward facing side as opposed to metal so they're more comfortable to keep on for prolonged periods of time or in certain settings (say, private spaces on transit like trains with sleeper cars or hotels where you still might run into someone if you don't keep only to your room)

plus fabric can make drooling less obvious which is also ideal for longterm wear (although he'll take it out to swallow after a bit and then put it back in or take it out to rest his jaw for a bit and then replace it)

the majority of these don't have large gags so longterm wear isn't super strenuous or uncomfortable but maybe one does and he'll reach for it if he's in a particular mood and knows he needs it, despite it being more painful, making more of a mess, etc.

is real cute afterwards, covered in spit and sleepy-sounding like "did i do good" like yeah bud real good, do you think you want to shower or--(he is out in minutes, he's not waking up for nothing)

[quitealotofsodapop]

Pspspsps!

Hey, hey!

I don’t remember if this was canon or just fanon, but there was something about Mei and putting trackers on her friends? In the TMKATI-verse, this could be her way of dealing with her parents, to know where her family is. Some keep them on them for her sake.

But what if it those trackers also had cameras and could record sound?

And it recorded the moment Mr. Star Lord of Fire hit Li Jing with his car?

I am only saying this because it would make for Nezhas favorite video clip ever.

And him showing it to Canon!Nezha would be good too. He’d get a human world phone just to have this video with him, I think.

May or may not show it to the rest of the canon group – many reactions ensue, at least a few snickers to a cackle.

But imagine, later – Li Jing for some reason has arrived and has to tell the canon-gang something (can be anything, not important). The Eclipse twins are placed a in a hastily made nest from the scarves/capes and given a phone with a video playing as distraction, while the grown ups deal with that a-hole.

And he’s talking.

And talking.

And talking.

Man’s posturing more than saying the very important thing somebody high up in the Celestial Realm sent him to say. It’s very annoying. The 30 minute video the cubs were watching has ended already and they are now randomly jumping from video to video.

Until the algorithm manages something magical.

The next video they play, is the cucaracha car horn.

It is loud.

Loud that the gang instantly stiffen and desperately stone their expressions to not burst out a laugh.

Probably doesn’t help that the ‘huh’ sound Li Jing made was almost similar to the sound he made when hit with the car.

At least that got him to finish the message and leave.

Cackles ensue. The twins are confused but okay with the hugs baba is giving them.

Mei does in canon have trackers on the rest of the Monkie Kid gang as mentioned in "Noodles or Death", it's how they're able to find out where Pigsy and Tang are; apparently a camera is attached to Tang's glasses.

“I attached cameras to all of you guys a while back. Not so creepy now, is it?” ―Mei

The canon series doesn't really expand upon it much afterwards beyond being an easy way for the crew to find out where Tang and Pigsy went.

[In the TMKATI-verse, this could be her way of dealing with her parents, to know where her family is. Some keep them on them for her sake.]

Oh thats sad af. I love it >:)

Baby Mei def had attachment issues - her dragon parents knew she was the new Ring of Samadhi, and they didn't want to "get too attached" (especially with a warning from Ao Guang about something big going down), and after the whole "batman-ing" happens...

Cue a baby dragon with separation anxiety who screams if she isn't in the presence of at least one of her caretakers. Like she'd start crying if someone went to the bathroom without her.

Mei got better as she got older, but she always had very bad anxiety regarding her family members even as an adult. She started to worry about the ways her adoptive family could be hurt and unable to contact her. An Incident where MK got himself into some hero-nonsense as a kid and couldn't answer his phone for many hours, Mei had a straight up panic attack, worried that her little brother had gotten hurt.

The trackers/cameras came in as a compromise to Mei clinging to MK 24/7 after the incident. It really helped to put her anxiety at ease and allow for her and MK do their own things as teenagers. As someone who grew up with anxiety, its kinda hard to learn to just "go do stuff" on your own.

Pigsy thinks the cameras/trackers are a bit creepy, but Macaque and Wukong are like; "How is it any different from us using our powers to keep tabs on you guys?" Pigsy in turn argues that the monkeys don't have a chance of catching him in the bathroom ("I use Gold Vision all the time during work to see if you're in the can or not."). Eventually the arguments peter off until the adults just agree to keep the trackers on their phones/personal effects.

MK in turn is very meticulous on keeping himself findable for Mei.

MK: *is being kidnapped by Villains of the Week* MK: "I wanna warn you guys, I swallowed an air tag." VOWs: *shared looks of confusion*

And ofc due to at least one family member at a time having a camera on them, especially during missions...

[And it recorded the moment Mr. Star Lord of Fire hit Li Jing with his car?]

Post referencing; Li Jing getting hit by SWK's Lawyer's car XD

XD

You know the kids are watching that on loop, adding sound and video effects until it's like an old youtube poop. Nezha has the video saved in multiple dimensions for a laugh.

[The Eclipse twins are placed a in a hastily made nest from the scarves/capes and given a phone with a video playing as distraction, while the grown ups deal with that a-hole.]

Oh gosh the imagery of two pairs of little glowing eyes peaking out from a scarf/blanket nest is soo cute. Probably the default way the monkey parents know how to keep cubs occupied. X3

I love the idea of the Eclipse twins accidentally startling/embarassing a whole god with the sound of La Cucaracha. You know the Celestial Realm would never let Li Jing live it down, no matter the universe XD

[aceofwhump]

Hello! Do you by chance have any recs for blood thinner side effect fics (for Buck), or just generally long-term effects of any of his injuries/lingering conditions?

Like (can I post links? Idunno, the title is “a hundred little pieces” by renecdote)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/28948266

is absolutely incredible (highly recommend!) and I’m on the lookout. Thanks!

Hi! I've def got a few fics for you. Hope you enjoy!

These are all blood thinner related:

death by blood thinners by carefulren: Buck cuts his arm during a rescue, but he doesn't realize until Eddie walks in on him half-naked in the locker room and covered in blood.

Let That Lonely Feeling Wash Away by 221BSunsetTowers: After the fight with Eddie in the grocery store, Buck drops a glass jar and cuts his hand. Buck's just too tired, thinks he's just too tiring, to do anything but buy some gauze and plan on bandaging himself up at home. Buck's not really thinking about the blood thinners he's still on when the blood loss makes him collapse outside the store, right in front of Eddie.

Bleeding Isn't Optional for Most of Us by actually18pigeons Summary: In the midst of recovering from the leg injury, Buck relapses with self-harm, but the blood thinners make that a bit more of a problem than he anticipated. So what does he do as he's bleeding out on his bathroom floor? Call Eddie of course. Major self-harm trigger warning. Be careful please.

Shaving Gone Wrong by DawnNimbus Summary: Buck not paying attention at work before shift and cuts himself shaving. Eddie freaks out because of the blood thinners. Buck had forgotten to tell the team had been off them for a while.

---------------------

These are all Buck having chronic leg pain after being crushed under a firetruck:

Flare Up by actually18pigeons Summary: Off of a chronic pain prompt - Buck has a flareup sometime between healing from the accident and being reinstated. Pre-lawsuit, pre-Buddie (but there's definitely mutual feelings).

Attack from Behind by Shearmouth Summary: For Whumptober Day 6: "Stop, please." Most days, it's nothing. A twinge if he lands on it wrong, an ache during rainstorms. Other days, Buck can't breathe.

featherlight by rogerzsteven Summary: "Can you come over?" Buck asks over the phone— he pleas, and the tremble in his voice clenches Eddie's heart. "Where are you?" Eddie springs to his feet, grabbing his coat and keys in a rush, his brows knitted and face suddenly burning up. "Are you okay?" Eddie hears another choked out mewl over the line. "I'm— I'm home." "Are you okay?" "I'm—" Buck's words get cut off by a pained groan. "God, my—my leg— I c-can't get up." 1 time Buck tends to Eddie's shoulder pain and 1 time Eddie tends to Buck's leg pain. Bad Things Happen Bingo: Chronic Pain

eddie diaz saves the day by buckaroobuddie Summary: Buck's leg acts up as he's trying to rescue someone. Eddie's there to save the day. ---- Written for the prompt "Chronic pain"

cause i will be your safety by rogerzsteven Summary: "Is it your leg?" Eddie whispers as he gives Buck's shoulder blade a gentle squeeze. Buck nods his head without even lifting his face from the pillow and whimpers quietly. Eddie sits on the edge of the couch, wraps his fingers around Buck's leg and scoots closer so he can rest Buck's leg on his lap. "Hey." Eddie says when Buck tries to get his leg free from Eddie's touch. "Let me see." Buck has a leg cramp. Eddie helps him as he can. bad things happen bingo: crying into chest

---------------------

These are all post tsunami nightmares and panic attacks:

Fall On Me by lionheartedghost Summary: “You never used to go this way,” Eddie said. “It’s quicker to take a left back on Pine and go along by the ocean.” “This way’s quicker,” Buck said absently. “Cuts out the traffic.” “No it doesn’t.” Eddie looked at him carefully. “It just cuts out the beach.” Written for the promptabuddie prompt, "Eddie helps Buck deal with his fear of water following the tsunami."

Bring Me Back by Stennerd Summary: It's been months since the tsunami and Buck had been doing just fine. All it took was walking through water to bring it all crashing back.

Bucky bear by wolfypuppypiles Summary: Buck is still struggling with nightmares after the tsunami and Eddie and Christopher come up with a plan to help him feel safe at night.

Ghost in the night by wolfypuppypiles Summary: So, apparently one of the side effects of trauma can be sleepwalking. Yeah. Buck thought it was pretty weird too. Queue worry, angst, baby gates and pep talks :)

[mrssabinecallas]

I Got You

No callsign this time! Reader is a civilian character.

Pairing: Robert “Bob” Floyd / Fem!Reader

In which a shy navy pilot is finally pushed by his friends to speak to the new barista at their favorite bar.

Warnings!! Fluff, mentions of a panic attack and anxiety, a really shitty ending cause im super tired but anyways

Yeah i lied about the three fic rotation, im not super into Hangman so its hard to get inspired to write for him.Rooster is def my favorite, but im really coming around to bob :))

Bob thought he was pretty tough. He may not look like it, but he could withstand a heavy force of gravity and many twists and turns at a high altitude.Yet, he lost all confidence and mental strength he had when he took one look at the new barista in the Hard Deck. 

It wasn’t just an,”Oh damn, she’s kinda cute,” look either. It felt like he got hit by a truck. And it didn’t go unnoticed by his friends. Phoenix followed his line of sight to see you serving drinks behind the bar like you were born for it. In her point of view, Bob looked absolutely dumbstruck, like a lost puppy. Everyone else seemed to take notice, too. How could they not? You were a hot new take and god knows they needed one. 

“Damn, she’s fine,” Hangman commented, and Bob shot him a look. “Woah, Baby on Board, you’re like, head over heels.” Hangman smirked.

“I... No I’m not. It’s just like you said, she’s cute,” He said, stuttering over his words. It didn’t convince anyone. 

“Whatever you say, Bob. But if you don’t make a move, I’m gonna,” Rooster claims, and Bob went red. He just shrugged silently and diverted his eyes to his shoes. His anxiety was too high to deal with their nonsense right now. 

Rooster got up and strutted over to the bar to get your attention. 

“What can I get for ya, sir?” You turned to him while making someone else’s drink. 

“Hey, could I get a beer, and let you know that my friend over there thinks your pretty cute,” He gestured over to the pool table with his head. “The one with the glasses, in the chair.”

“Well tell your friend to come over here and say hi,” you handed him his drink and replied with a welcoming smile, before turning to the next guest to serve.

When Bob heard about Rooster’s little escapade, he was embarrassed. Little did he know, you had been peeking at him from our spot at the bar. He was cute, you’d give it to him, in an adorable nerd way. His colleagues were hot, but you still found yourself looking at him as the bar died down. When he caught your stares, he turned bright red. You offered a warm smile and a little wave, and he decided he might as well say hi. 

He stood, drawing unwanted attention to himself, and walked towards you. His fellow pilots cheered him on and whistled his way, and he turned impossibly more red. 

“Hi, what can I do for-” you stopped yourself mid sentence as you looked up to find Bob. 

“H-Hi. Um, I just wanted to say hi and-” He fiddled with his fingers and pulled at the collar of his khaki uniform. “Is it hot in here? Just me?” His breathing became erratic, and he was shaking.

“Hey, c’mon, lets go get some air, it’s stuffy in here,” You grabbed him by the arm and led him out to the deck. “Hey, hey, you’re all good.” 

“S-sorry, my, uh, my anxiety is messing up, um..” he still wasn’t breathing correctly. 

“Don’t apologize, my anxiety spikes when i talk to cute guys, too. I’d be lying if i said i wasn’t anxious,” you tried to calm his nerves, but as soon as you realized what you said you were done for. 

“I- uh, didn’t mean to say that outloud, um.. But don’t be stressed. I got you.”

Eventually, his anxiety evened out, and you continued a more normal conversation. 

“Um, sorry to bring it back up, but did you mean what you said earlier.. about, um, thinking I’m cute?” He refused to look at you while saying it, but you grabbed his chin and gently guided him to look at you. 

“Yes, I did Bob.” 

Needless to say, his anxiety shot right back up, but he wasn’t complaining. He felt as if he was on cloud nine, and he couldn’t stop thinking about what you’d said. Even after you closed and he had gone home, and taken a shower and laid in bed. It rang through his head like it was all he could think about.

“I got you.”

[gdawg-183]

Robin Buckley Dating Headcanons

gn or fem!readers (no male)

begs to do your make up and then fails horrendously because she can’t keep her hands still

forces you to watch foreign movies

will translate them for you the entire time if they’re in french, spanish or italian

calls you so many pet names like princess, mi amor, gorgeous (sometimes dumbass, dingus, idiot but with love)

asks you to lay on top of her sometimes because the pressure calms her down

loves being big spoon

but you will wake up with her as little spoon every single time even though she denies it

loves talking to you about movies or books or any theories she has

gets embarrassed when she has nightmares or panic attacks but never wants you to go away so she has your comfort

introduced you to steve right away so she could rub it in his face that she gets more girls than he does

strings you along to babysitting so she doesn’t have to deal with mama steve on her own

you guys def share music because she listens to all kinds of crap

her favorites are definitely max and will so she’ll always talk about them to you

gets insecure when she feels like she’s rambling sometimes so needs a bit of reassurance

she is protective asf over you

still can’t believe there’s someone else in hawkins like her even after dating for awhile

[playertwotails]

So I've again been thinking about Frontiers and Tails going off on his own to make an impact of his own without Sonic to prove himself. Also I've been thinking about how Tails is a little badass and usually ends up being a big part in Sonic winning against every threat they face and how none of their rogue gallery seems to realize this. When it hit me, what if Tails going solo for a bit is what finally gets the attention of the villains on him more. This gonna be a long AUish kinda deal so putting it below the cut If you wanna keep reading.

Okay so hear me out here. Tails goes off on his own to prove to himself and the world he's capable and doesn't always need Sonic to save the day and that Tails is a hero in his own right. And the old villains (and maybe some new ones) take note that "oh okay this kid is actually more of a problem then we gave him credit for." Heck in one of the Eggman voice things in Frontiers Eggman even says he Tails is pretty formidable but he thinks Tails hero worship of Sonic is squashing some of that potential (and that, that's good for Eggman).

Tails solo time just ends up just painting a bit of a target on his back from villains. Cause now they see what Tails is capable on his own away from Sonic and that scares them a bit. Cause here comes an 8 year old (idk if that's his age any more in Frontiers I know that there was a thing going around saying that they did try to mature the characters a bit in that game but I still don't see Tails any older than like 10 at this point) but here comes a kid that can wreck their shit in ways they never prepared for cause most of their plans and defenses revolved around Sonic.

So during the next villain threat after Tails comes back from his solo time, they don't target Sonic they target Tails. And like good luck to whoever they're up against cause Tails is hard to take down and can take care of himself. But their main goal and plan is to take out Tails first then maybe Sonic cause now they see how much of a threat Tails is.

But the flip side of this is that this makes Sonic go into protective older brother overdrive. Cause yeah people they have gone up against in the past have targeted Tails (and with the exception of Starline) it's usually done to get to Sonic more so than really take out Tails. But this time the villain is pretty much ignoring Sonic and is gunning for his little brother.

And yeah Sonic knows Tails is capable and all and can handle himself but he's still worried cause again that's his little brother and someone is specifically trying to hurt Tails. (I also don't think he'd be too over protective like making Tails sit out the fight on like a lockdown but he def would try to keep Tails away from the villain, or at least not fighting them alone, and have some of their friends guard him a bit in the fight) And maybe Sonic is a bit more brutal than normal against this threat, he's still all quips and taunting but to anyone who knows him there is defiantly a bit more focus and intent is his attacks.

Extra bit: The villain(s) they're fighting do get a solid hit on Tails and pretty much take him out of the fight (it doesn't kill Tails but it def is gonna leave a scar) or do manage to nab Tails and run. If they kidnapped Tails (and not as a threat to Sonic but because they have plans for Tails and go into hiding with him) Sonic goes into full panic no sleeping no eating mode till they find Tails. And when Sonic gets a hold of them by that point just goes full terminator and just takes them down pretty brutally cause they hurt/took Tails.

Bonus Points if Sonic goes Dark Sonic mode on them.

Idk just an little AU for post Frontiers cause protective mode big brother Sonic gives me life and I really think the villains in this series really need to take Tails more seriously as a threat.

[noahtally-famous]

something i noticed about dave in canon is that like. part of the reason he gets attached to sky seems to be not only Because she helped him through what seemed like a panic attack but also. it doesn't seem like anyone's done that for him before?

"usually i freak out way more" this has happened before? and worse?

"sky has a surprisingly calming effect on me" <- words of a guy who does not know what it's like to have someone help you calm down

IDK. maybe im wrong but something about this was a little crazy

oh no, anon, you're def right. and it's not just a little crazy, it's VERY crazy lmaoo like no shade on the fandom bc I get it, dave isn't a well-liked character and for valid reasons, but ppl tend to forget or gloss over the questionable things he says that connects to just how shitty his childhood/current life was

but tbh td has a history of popping questionable backstory tidbits; with trent's whole thing, heather getting electrocuted by her own parents, cody's everything, mike, alejandro, duncan, courtney, the list goes on tbh, nearly everyone's got their hand in the shitty backstory jar to some degree ngl, so it kinda makes sense in a way that the fandom glosses over dave bc, like, tdpi isn't as well-watched AND it's become sort of the norm for a contestant to have a shitty backstory or part of one

but like, you're so right, anon, it's WILD, and lemme just discuss that for a sec (bc any opportunity to inspect dave under a microscope, I will never pass up)

(tw for mentions of panic attacks)

dave insinuating that he's had worse panic attacks before and that sky managed to stop him before things got too bad (which is smth not many ppl are able to do to him) def emphasizes my idea of dave's backstory that...obv it was not the best. that with the idealization of "being normal" it could be that his family just...either never got the time to or doesn't feel inclined to help him through his attacks or that he doesn't feel comfortable enough around them to allow them to do so. in schools, I feel like he's the same way--he doesn't strike me as the type to have a lot of friends, and ppl would prob tend to see him as the "weird germaphobe" which doesn't help matters at all.

and even if ppl have tried to help him before, based on his words abt sky and the implications that his attacks get worse, the 'help' from others in his past seems to have not been done sincerely, more so it was just to stop him and get it over with. there was a lack of distinct care for his well-being or just him as a person, rather just a clinical outlook to stop the panic attack. that's what I'm getting from that bit

like it brings the fact that he's had to deal with these panic attacks on his own and with only his own "calming effect" to rely on bc no one else has done it for him (and we all know how great his "calming effect" was given how badly his character deteriorated mentally). so it could be that he was so used to relying on himself, handling his attacks by himself, regardless of how bad or good that self-effect might be on his mental health, that the first person to give him that same--if not better--kind of calming effect, he latched on instantly thinking that since no one else was truly willing to be there for him in the past and present, sky helping him must be bc she cares. it's such a warped mentality that I feel, looking at it psychologically, could have stemmed from prior attachment issues and lack of proper family functioning and friendships

it's disheartening bc in the confessional right after, he looks so stunned and in awe that sky had actually calmed him down. clearly it's not smth he's used to from other ppl, so when it did happen, he reacted overly extreme and that's where things started to spiral

(going off on a tangent here, I also feel like that correlates to my own hc of dave having a distant family. he doesn't fully understand what it's like to be attached to someone, it's not smth he's used to. it's always been himself. so when sky came along, he couldn't function right, and obv I'm not blaming anyone (even though that should be a given considering I love both sky and dave as characters, but y'know, just putting that out there), it's just interesting to pick apart a character's seemingly trivial actions and words and think abt the potential underlying implications behind them)

it's why I love characters like these over the too good ones bc everything is just straightforward with those kinds, it's all laid out on the table, unless you personally make hcs to change it. don't get me wrong, I love characters from both categories, it's just that for characters like dave, it's smth totally different, there's so much going on under the surface, and personally, that's what I find interesting (maybe it's the psych minor in me rearing its head whoops 😭)

anyway, you gave me an excuse to dissect dave mentally, and I legit love dissecting characters actions/words and trying to figure their mentalities out, so tysm for this ask, anon!! (sorry for the long answer, I can get rlly into it when need be 😅)

[kuruasu]

Ok idk if I'm actually gonna write it but the idea won't get out of my head SO

Jimmy is a living toy, escaped from a server of giants so he's normal sized. Only it's a lot less Toy Story and a lot more The Doll People, where a toy getting seen moving has immediate magical consequences(in the book it was just getting frozen, but Angst, so the consequences for Jimmy would prob be much worse). The consequences don't actually exist outside of that server, but Jimmy either doesn't know that or has a lot of trauma about it(and this actually is why he's so stern about the Law, since he's lived his whole life Following The Rules Or Else) so he does whatever he can to stick to his rules. He's managed to wrap his head around 'people seeing him moving doesn't do anything', but interpreted that as 'the consequences hit bc they saw a toy moving, so long as no one knows he's a toy he's safe'. And since no one expects a person to be a toy and he's a fairly high quality, realistic toy, he gets away with it.

Until Joel.

The people of Tumble Town, and even some of the other rulers, are easily tricked, but Joel's a god. He takes one look at Jimmy and knows he's a magically-animated toy. He's seen weirder, so it wasn't a big deal to him until he referenced Jimmy being a toy. Jimmy, terrified of getting caught and being hit with the consequences, drastically denies it, and Joel grins. He thinks it's a bit, a toy pretending he isn't a toy and overreacting whenever it's brought up.

Joel tells the others about it, to have some fun and keep the bit going, so they start to join in on the joke. Jimmy is constantly halfway to a panic attack with how everyone's going on about it, waiting for the moment some joke crosses the line and the consequences finally hit him.

(The rulers are friends. They like to mess around, but none of them want to push a joke so far that someone actually gets hurt. If they knew he was actually uncomfortable, not just part of the bit, they'd stop. But Jimmy's too panicked to realize they think it's a bit and tell them to stop, and they don't notice.)

Things come to a head when Joel and Sausage introduce Hermes to everyone. Hermes is especially excited to meet Jimmy, as his dads had told him about the toy sheriff(Jimmy is a toy and Hermes is a statue, but there's not really much difference when they've both been magically brought to life the same). He doesn't get much further than 'you're just like me :D' when Jimmy stops him. Jimmy sees Hermes and sees a New Toy That Doesn't Know The Rules and desperately tries to stop him from breaking them. He's torn between terrified 'nonono don't let the child be hit with the consequences, he didn't know' and angry 'Joel has had it out for me forever, does he really hate toys so much that he'd make one and not explain the rules so he could watch him suffer'.

There's a lot of flailing and shouting that Hermes is a Real Person, Not A Toy, and that's when the others notice how genuinely distressed Jimmy is. And realize how genuinely distressed he's been this whole time. They feel terrible. Jimmy explains to Hermes(and, since he's having a full-on breakdown at this point and doesn't notice that he pulled him out of sight but not out of hearing range and regardless they followed them, to everyone) about the rules and the consequences and how so long as the others don't know they're toys, they're safe. The others are horrified, and rush to reassure him.

I'm not sure how it would end or where it would go from there, but there would def be comfort to answer for all that hurt.

[matan4il]

One of the reasons I'm still very confident is they never addressed Eddie's reasons for panic with Anna. Like that's not a normal response when you just aren't that into someone. I think in the midst of the PTSD stuff the origin panic attacks got lost.

Plus they also presented themselves differently. Eddie's reaction to Anna was an attack. Eddie's PTSD was rage filled destruction.

Obviously none of us know the story but if I had to put my money on anything it's that side of Eddie's therapy coming out in however they deal with "Eddie dating" in the back half.

Curious your take, but if I had to out money on it I say the 2s storyline runs opposite till it convergences (a bit like last season). Then only a soft hint as the cliffhanger for S6. The network will know its coming and it will guarantee renewal IMHO and will set up at least half a seasons worth of goodness for 7. Because I am greedy and want it all! Awkwardness and fumbling and huge crushing.

Plus all I really need this season is to one of them identifies as not straight to know it's happening. I'm that easy!!

Hi, lovely Nonnie! Thank you for the ask.

I think it’s not the ‘not being into Ana’ bit that was responsible for Eddie’s panic attacks, more the commitment aspect of it. When she’s mistaken for his wife, when his colleagues want to be introduced to her, etc. But even so, it is def an EXTREME reaction to the fear of commitment, especially when Ana herself isn’t the one trying to push for it or lock him down. When the salesman refers to her as Eddie’s wife, she’s the first one to interject. As 503 indicated and 501 implied, ‘coz on some level she felt his reservations with her, so she must have been scared of his reaction to the salesman’s mistake. Yet, she doesn’t connect it to him collapsing, because as we just said, it IS way extreme, even for someone who’s experiencing commitment issues.

I very much agree with you that his reaction to the commitment fear and to the PTSD were different, and that to a great degree, the latter obscured the parts Eddie hadn’t dealt with yet when it comes to why the thought of committing to Ana was THAT horrifying to him. And I’m also with you that Eddie trying to date again in 6b should logically give us the opportunity to see Eddie more fully confronting why he was with the “perfect woman” and it caused him to go into several panic attacks to the point where he ended up in the hospital.

Yes, I was kinda thinking that in a sense, their storylines are separate in 6a and might be for a bit in 6b as well, but if Buck deals with his take on parenthood through the sperm donor storyline, while Eddie tries to handle dating, that means they’ll both be dealing with the question of what do they want for themselves out of life, what are they looking for and how do they see their future? And that’s the perfect set up for the resolution to be brought about at least in part jointly, just like last season, in 518 we had the scene of Buck helping Eddie fix his walls, while Eddie helped Buck figure out he needed to confront (and break up with) Taylor. I very much hope the two of us are right here, Nonnie! And the way you describe it is exactly how I see the beginning of Buddie going canon. IDK if it’s happen this season, I suspect they’ll save it for when renewal is maybe less guaranteed (and my impression is pretty much still that s7 is a sure thing), but it’s exactly how I think it’ll play out, it’s the perfect opening for a slow burn to finally turn canon. Plus, just like you, I’m greedy and I want it all, in all of its gradual unveiling glory! ;D

Hope you have a great day, hon! As always, here’s my ask tag. xoxox

[eerna]

I am genuinely so! pissed! that they even made that tolya and inej interaction in episode 8! Tolya IS aroace and stated himself in book!canon that he doesn't want a relationship, and inej would NEVER just casually accept his hand like that without dissociating. Which is basically aroace and trauma erasure in a single shot. And then coupled with the fact that they put the no armour line in the same episode it's like she's ditching kaz??? After the hallucination scene they just make her basically leave him? No I'm not okay. Not to mention that the no armour scene didn't have the same impact as it did in the books, no hate to freddy and amita, the entire buildup to that scene was botched. I have a lot of problems with this season but that one shot is what bothers me most as someone who is both aroacespec and can't be looked at by boys in the streets without wanting to have a panic attack

I'm very sorry it made you feel so horrible. At first it was funny because it didn't feel like something the writers would actually pursue, but after seeing the comments they made,,,,,,,,,, Blergh. Not funny anymore. I can def relate to the pain you describe, and while I worked on myself and managed to deal with it, it still sucks to see erasure happen and be lauded as progressive or whatever

[devitalise]

i agree with ur thoughts on s2, here some of my in depth thoughts though:

stuff i didn't like

- i totally agree about carmy not being as big of a presence in this season, i understand they wanted to show that he absolutely isn't ready for a relationship, but imo if ur gonna do that u gotta go bigger? crying in the fridge and getting in a fight with richie who we know he'll easily make up with isn't that big of a deal to me.. i would have loved to see a huge break up that made him confront his inability to let himself be happy AND claire reminding him of hs, home and michael (they kept hinting at this and all we got was one panic attack scene? ok)

- i actually didn't mind claire. it was very clear she was just a plot device from the start and i def wouldn't mind there being more depth to her character, but they had chemistry and the actress did a great job. idk i rly liked her character, but disliked the narrative surrounding her (i started rolling my eyes by the 20th time someone mentioned carmy liked her in hs, we get it!)

- i hate what they did to marcus, i don't see him as a bitter guy who yells after getting rejected idk what the point of that was since it got resolved in 10 min

- ebra's arc felt a little unfinished, like a scene or two was missing? but other than that i think it was great to see him struggle with smtn and more of his friendship with tina

- maybe a me thing, but i missed some of the surreal elements s1 had (the cooking show, the literal bear, the cage, the nightmare..)

things i liked

- literally everything else. the acting, dialogue, direction, lighting, you name it i loved it. the comedic moments were so good this season, richie and fak were standouts for me.

- just when i thought this show couldn't possibly overwhelm me more, but the christmas ep proved me wrong. it could have been shorter (the tiff and richie scene was especially long), but jamie lee curtis was too captivating for me to care all that much

- despite there being a lot of things i dislike, this is such a short list for me? i fucking love this show sm, and s2 was a great comeback as far as i'm concerned. not as great as the first, but still a banger and i can't wait to see what they do next <33

hi babe sorry i kept remembering and then forgetting to answer this and then i didn't want to drop spoilers the same week as release because i can't put your ask under a cut but it's been a month now so i'll go under the cut to hit your points

i didn't completely hate the fridge breakdown like him not being able to be there for such an important career milestone because he kept putting things above the bear opening?? fitting and deserved to me!

yeah i feel the same about claire like after a certain point none of the claire carmy scenes were offering me anything new. i wasn't learning anything new about carmy and didn't feel like the plot was moving along either. and the sex scene?? EW (not in a puritan sex way but carmy is sooooo sexless to me i don't want to see him breathing into this woman's face all sensual like creeps me out)

yeah that was sooo???? HELP! glad they got over it at the end of the ep they'll be fine

agreed about ebra! not completely there but i think he'll shine in s3 if there is one in the same way tina came so completely into her own this season. (love tina!)

yeah absolutely! there was a whiff of it with syd in the last ep with the ticket printing and ep2 where she's going around eating food but more weirdness would have been appreciated idk

i'm gonna rewatch s2 in a couple months i think to really see how i feel about it the further removed i get from watching it the better my memory of it is for me so i'll see how that goes