#defictionalization

[apocalypticvalraven]

Delicious in Dungeon in The Kitchen

So... I was struck by the thought that I kinda wish some food nerd would go through the Dungeon Meshi dishes and analyze them and sort of give a "this is the real world thing they're making" run down.

And then I realized I'm a food nerd that can do research.

So.

We're gonna try this out, starting with Volume 1. I don't promise that I know everything about cooking. I don't promise I'll always be able to make the thing I'm looking at (I am broke, and I don't have my own kitchen). But I can at least look at a dish and figure out what they're doing and how to replicate it, at least sorta.

Dungeon Meshi Volume 1-- Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Hot Pot

The two main components of this dish are the Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom.

Walking Mushroom

Looking at the images in the manga, Walking Mushroom seems to just... be a mushroom that can walk around. There are no organs, the interior seems pretty uniform in substance...

Like, literally, that's exactly what sliced mushrooms look like. Senshi cuts the mushroom into ~4" strips (judging by their size next to the small cabbage-like vegetable, and comparing those plants to his hand in the image of him gathering them. I am assuming dwarf hands are roughly the same size as human hands).

There's a variety of edible mushroom that is probably as close as we're going to get to the size of a Walking Mushroom, growing a cap up to 3' wide, but it seems to only grow in termite mounds in a very specific part of the African continent (please forgive my USAmerican, White education leading me to not being able to identify the specific region), so... if you can get that at all, it's probably crazy expensive (as it should be, unless you're literally getting it from the mounds or local markets yourself). Portobello or similar large culinary mushrooms are probably just fine. The Mushroom Feet are literally just mushrooms, so no worries there.

Huge Scorpion

Ok, so... there is a difference between arachnids and crustaceans. As a start, arachnids have book lungs and crustaceans have gills. Arachnid guts are different from crustacean guts, just because of environment. Hell, crustacean limbs grow differently from arachnid limbs.

That said, everything I see in Dungeon Meshi implies that, from a culinary standpoint, Huge Scorpion is a crustacean-

So, really, it's just a big lobster. Take a lobster, cut off its legs, antennae, and the tail fluke, and you're going to see something that looks pretty similar to the huge scorpion in Dungeon Meshi.

Seaweed

Next is seaweed, which... is just a thing, but also kind of an imprecise term, I think. Basically, "seaweed" just refers to any marine algae that is multicellular and macroscopic (big enough to see). Arctic Moss seems to be a real thing which refers to a couple things- the aquatic moss Calliergon giganteum and the terrestrial lichen in the genus of Cladonia, which includes Reindeer Lichen.

Reindeer lichen is edible, in a number of ways, but it's also not seaweed. So we look at Calliergon giganteum. I cannot get an answer as to whether this particular variety of moss is edible. So... fuck it, say Senshi used Reindeer Lichen, at least we know that's edible.

"Star Jelly" is... I don't know. The main result I find when googling it is that it's the sort of general term for various slimes that show up on lawns and other vegetation, etc. Which means it could be anything from amphibian spawning jelly to who the fuck knows what.

However, one thing it could be is a cyanobacteria known as Fat Choy, a commonly used "vegetable" in Chinese Cuisine:

Looks like jelly? Yep. Looks weird enough that you might imagine it comes from a star? Yep. Edible? Yes!

(I mean, maybe don't eat a ton of it, or get it from irreputable sources. At least some Fat Choy contains a toxic amino acid which may or may not have negative health effects, but I'm not a doctor, so all I'm saying is "be aware of this." It's an expensive delicacy, which means that it is a particularly lucrative target for counterfeiters, and China does not have strong, or strongly enforced, food safety laws).

The Hard Stuff

So that leaves "Invertatoes" and "Dried Slime."

Neither of which seem to have a good direct analogue to the real world. Well... sorta.

Invertatoes seems to refer to the plants. The name calls to mind potatoes, and potatoes do indeed grow in the ground and are starchy. It's probably fair to just use any kind of starchy tuber as the "invertatoes." Maybe cassava, since those are large enough that it's at least somewhat believable that "Fantasy Land Cassava" could look like that (although that doesn't fit the "these are normal plants that grow upside down" unless we're being really generous).

The problem is that it's sort of implied that the cabbage-like vegetable seen in the hot pot comes from the same plant, and everything from a potato plant other than the potato itself is toxic. They also don't look like that.

I literally don't know what those cabbage/lettuce-like leafy vegetables are. They're not seaweed, because the two varieties called out definitely don't look like that. They're not, so far as I can tell, the greens of any kind of starchy tuber--

EXCEPT.

So, I was taking one last look at tubers to see if I could find something that seemed to match, and I think Invertatoes could be likened to something similar to chicory. Particularly endives. I never knew endives were related to chicory (ie, "that thing that I'm aware is popular as a coffee substitute in the South, but I don't have much desire to try it, and I wonder if it even has caffeine..."), but, apparently, yeah. Endives are a member of the chicory genus.

So, yeah, lets say that Invertatoes are a sort of fantasy plant similar to the various members of the chicory genus. The trunk can be replicated with chicory root, and the leaves with endives.

That leaves Dried Slime. Dried Slime makes up the noodles in the hot pot, which implies that the noodles are gelatinous, and probably low in gluten. Senshi's explanation of the slime makes me want to think of it as a macro-unicellular lifeform, but... I'm not sure that's accurate.

While it's definitely not an accurate way to describe a jellyfish, I could definitely see a non-biologist describing jellyfish in a way similar to the way Senshi describes the slime. I could also see some fantasy terrestrial jellyfish thing hunting in a similar manner to the slime. Moreover, there are edible varieties of jellyfish, and they're processed in a manner very similar to what Senshi describes for processing slimes. And one way of preparing edible jellyfish is to thinly slice it into noodles.

Hot Pots

I... think this is using a very specifically Japanese sense of "hot pot" (which makes sense), because in Japan, hot pot can refer to a dish called nabemono, while in general, hot pot refers to a particular kind of dining in China where you get a pot full of boiling stock/broth and a bunch of raw ingredients, and you put the stuff you want into the broth at the table. Nabemono is more of "put a bunch of stuff in a pot, and cook it. Serve it boiling." Which is to say, it's soup.

Senshi puts the scorpion meat and mushroom into a pot on its own, and lets it start boiling-

Then, while it's boiling, he goes and finds other ingredients, coming back with the invertatoes and the slime. The two are prepared simply-

Seasoning isn't included in the ingredients, but I can understand this as a choice for presentation. We do see Senshi add something to the broth after tasting it, and I think it's fair to assume it's one of soy sauce, mirin, fish sauce, or similar. I think it's actually really interesting that we see Senshi add seasoning, but we're not told what it is-

Because... that's cooking. You can follow a recipe, but ultimately, you need to taste your cooking and make your own decisions. Senshi lets the soup cook, tastes the broth, decides it needs something, and gives it a bit of time to let the flavors meld before serving it up.

Dungeon Meshi Lobster and Mushroom Hot Pot

So, we're looking at something like this for the "Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom Hot Pot"--

Lobster- ~5 lbs or more (a 1 lb lobster yields about 4 oz of actual meat, which is a single serving), cut into large slices

Portobello- 2 mushrooms large diced, 2 left whole with the caps scored

Reindeer Lichen and Fat Choy- to taste

Chicory Roots- ~1 cup, diced

Endive greens- ~2 cups

Jellyfish, thin sliced- as much as you like

Add lobster and mushrooms to water, and allow to boil. While it comes to a boil, prepare the other ingredients, then add to the water. Let the soup come to a full boil, then reduce heat and simmer for 15 minutes to an hour (can simmer longer, but this will affect the texture of the ingredients. Longer simmering will result in more melding of flavors, but also degraded solid parts).

Taste the broth. It will likely need salt and acid, which could come in a variety of forms, such as kosher salt and lemon juice, soy sauce and mirin/rice vinegar, oyster/fish sauce, or something else. Go with your gut and your taste buds..

[makeitrealfromfictional]

Objects

I was going to put together all of the in-world merch, but I decided I couldn’t keep this juicebox shaped like Cementoss that Jiro and Yaoyorozu have at the Sports Festival to myself any longer.

Behold, the Cementoss juice box→Link

Link leads to—>reddit.com

[fakereads]

Pawnee: The Greatest Town in America

by Leslie Knope

Buy on Amazon

From: Parks and Recreation

[codaattheend]

Written for @irrealisms for the @mcyt-drabble-exchange. Hope you enjoy! (Also on AO3)

You're telling him the truth. You're not working with Spoke.

You didn't help him. You aren't helping him. That's not you.

(You pull your hood up over your fox ears, trying to cover how they keep twitching.)

But they want you to be something that you're not. Someone that you're not.

(Someone you weren't made to be.)

You don't fit the narrative. You take yourself out of it. They still aren't happy.

They want someone you aren't. They want someone you weren't made to be.

You're not working with Spoke. You're telling him the truth.

It's you that's the lie.

[ilovethetalkingclock]

You know I should probably get back to working on Nightmarish again-

0 notes

⚡scrap-sews Follow

I’m taking creation requests!

Will do:

Original creations

Defictionalizations

If you want your requested creation mailed to you, DM me! Otherwise I promise I’ll treat them better than my dad treated me-

🧛‍♀️ countessgaymes Follow

hey

⚡scrap-sews Follow

Alcina I do not care that we’re friends I am not fucking doing that.

108 notes

🤕 mummy-friend Follow

@cooking-from-the-black-lagoon I know you took one of my jars.

You better not be doing what I think you’re doing.

🐟 cooking-from-the-black-lagoon Follow

…i apologize. Canopic Casserole was a disaster anyway.

🤕mummy-friend Follow

There is a hoard of locusts in your fridge.

🐟cooking-from-the-black-lagoon Follow

A-

50,300 notes

🐺 lulus-garden Follow

Gonna eat an entire tray of wolfsbane brownies lmao

🐺lulus-garden Follow

t h i s  w a s  a  m i s t a k e

🐍 medusastonedmoments Follow

yep. reminds me of my first time with pot brownies.

679 notes

☯ shaduostudiesnshitposts Follow

Luna worries me sometimes.

☯ shaduostudiesnshitposts Follow

Oh wait, I made those brownies for them. They’ll be fiiine.

20,000 notes

🧟‍♀️ waffulz-raveyard Follow

oh fuck i think my heart stopped working

🧟‍♀️waffulz-raveyard Follow

oops false alarm it never was ^~^’

🧟‍♀️waffulz-raveyard Follow

plz stop rbing this

[artbyblastweave]

Wrongest call I ever made about what kind of consumer good from fiction would get defictionalized and catch on and be a trend by twenty twentyfour were those little dead mans switches, you know, the ones you sync to your heartbeat so that if somebody kills you something explodes someplace

[kraken-open-an-old-one]

just reblogging a post from twelve years ago, thinking about time and shit.

[aokozaki]

Okay so in Splatoon 2 there were Splatfest-exclusive stages called the Shifty Stations, which had extra movement gimmicks and such. The gimmicks were mainly taken from the Singleplayer Player vs. Octarian Mode, explained by Marina (a former Military R&D girl for the Octarian Army) importing some ideas to the surface.

Anyway, in the Japanese version, they were all named as references to Shoujo Manga, with the exception of the final Shifty Station for the Finalfest - Dear Senpai - which was defictionalized as a bonus for Volume 10 of the official Splatoon Manga.

(Shoutouts to the fan translation for making the title page match the Shifty Station's English name, instead of just calling it "Dear Pearl" like the official English release).

Anyway, Marina's got it down bad, huh...

[redhatmeg]

Please, let the book about vampire Isaac Higgintoot being defictionalized.

[makeitrealfromfictional]

Other

Sometimes I’m bewildered by my own niche. I spent a year training a rat to cook ratatouille (seriously)

Link leads to yahoo.com.

[fakereads]

Summer Falls

by Amelia Williams

Buy on Amazon

From: Doctor Who

[faline-cat444]

Guess the next thing people are going to want defictionalized is a mini Hambo to hang on their vehicle's rearview mirror or similar

Also now learned this patchy thing will be the first result from typing in "Hambo" in the search engine

[tiffany-loves-broadway]

The famous "torment nexus" tweet was really funny in its original context*, where Netflix thought the public was so stupid that there'd be a lot of demand for a limp defictionalization of the Let's Torture The Poors For Fun Because We're So Depraved colosseum-style game show from the anticapitalist propaganda show they'd greenlit without understanding. (Mr. Beast did the same basic stupid thing but with considerably more self-awareness, which made the implementation details less fucked up but TBH maybe kind of made it more fucked up that he did it at all.)

Unfortunately, within the public imagination, "torment nexus" has definitely flanderized by this point into being a fashionable way to relay the message of Caveman Science Fiction But Unironically. "You go too far. You am play gods. You grasp exceed grasp." Except actually a rhetorical layer worse than that, because it's specifically being used to say that people only support science because they lack the media literacy to understand the moral of alarmist science fiction.

I'd say "for a 'torment nexus' application to be fair, the thing being defictionalized needs to be self-evidently comically evil". Unfortunately, in many cases, whether some new technological or social development is self-evidently comically evil is a matter of furious public debate and the people on the "it's a torment nexus" side are very stupid. So it's probably just an unsalvageable meme that's always going to be used annoyingly by annoying people. Sad!

*(ADDENDUM TO ABOVE BEFORE I SEND THIS POST: Apparently, I was mistaken about the original context of the tweet. It wasn't actually made about Squid Game, it was made about Facebook's "Metaverse", and it just happened to take off later the same year in reference to Squid Game. While the Metaverse did indeed suck, it wasn't nearly as fitting a context for the tweet as the "real" Squid Game, for many reasons. So I guess the meme's been rotten from the start!)

[turboghast]

Overloading my brain by trying to imagine how Super Robot Wars with all the mecha media I've seen would work

Mobile Suit Gundam: Iron-Blooded Orphans (In crossovers, the first step is always the most ordinary one.)

Mobile Suit Gundam: Witch From Mercury (Two series in and we already have two different definitions of the word "Gundam", off to a great start. At least these definitions are fairly compatible.)

MSG: Universal Century circa Zeta Gundam (More like universal attendance amirite? Also, we've got a third definition of "Gundam" that's not compatible with the definitions from the AU series; nobody in their right mind would name their new brand of mechas after ones that kill their pilots.)

Code Geass (Not sure how to reconcile both the Federation and Britannia being around, but SRW has done it before.)

Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann (Humans don't even rule the Earth in this one.)

Robotech (Yo dawg, I heard you like mecha crossovers, so I put a crossover pretending to be a generational epic in your crossover so you could crossover while you crossover.)

Last Hope (If the generic name means you have no clue what I'm talking about, it's a Netflix exclusive anime. The only series here in which giant non-sapient monsters exist.)

Dragon Pilot (Nothing in common with the rest of these series tonally, and the real-world Japan setting directly contradicts Code Geass.)

Daemon ex Machina (So the moon colonies from UC are just fucked, right?)

Pacific Rim (Okay, maybe not the only series with giant monsters.)

Ace Combat (Belka and the aggressor squadrons from 5 would make good overarching plot, and you can justify the series' traditional missiles you can dodge with one turn by saying that's the best you can do with Ahab reactors and Minovsky particles in play.)

From Yu-Gi-Oh, Sky Striker lore, Melffys piloting Divine Arsenal AA-Zeus, and Kaiba in defictionalized versions of his XYZ machine monsters and Blue-Eyes Jet Dragon (Here exactly because someone online proposed this as a way to put Yu-Gi-Oh in SRW and I liked their answer.)

And, of course, any number of pilot-a-ship bullet hells depending how loose I feel like playing it. The first boss of Dondonpachi Resurrection can transform between a humanoid mode and an airplane mode just like the Zeta Gundam.

[balloonblowerthesecond]

Obviously I have to include this "defictionalization" of the inflated Teddy cartoon while it's still relevant:

[apocalypticavolition]

Let's (re)Read The Eye of the World! Chapter 17: Watchers and Hunters

People who haven't finished reading The Wheel of Time yet: See how that guy in the picture doesn't have eyes? That's how he's protecting himself from the spoilers in this post. How are you protecting yourself? Is it by leaving now while you still have the chance? Is it by blocking the tags so you can't even see this post? Whatever it is, don't blame me if it doesn't work. I gave you every chance to escape, which is more than the guy in the picture can say!

This chapter begins with another icon of the Dragon's Fang. Since Rand doesn't channel or do much particularly this chapter (he's POV as usual but that's just book 1 for you), it's probably about the Fade's trying to claim him for being the DR and the Whitecloaks' general atmosphere of suspicion, because - and I cannot emphasize this enough - they are not good people; the exact sort to mark doors with Dragon's Fangs if they thought it would hurt those they wanted hurt.

. . . To the eight corners of the world, the Hunters ride, to the eight pillars of heaven, where the winds of time blow and fate seizes the mighty and the small alike by the forelock.

Another reference to eight corners of the world, which I don't think come up much if ever after this, let alone in later books. Now we've got pillars of heaven, which imply that the western people of this day envision a flat world with a vaulted sky held up by immense supports at the boundary. This is rather intriguing, especially when you consider that virtually no other major cultural group at this point could have the same confusion: the Seanchan would know that the constellations are not constant over their empire, the Sea Folk would know that islands rise up out of the horizon as they sail, the Aiel have time differences figured out because of T'A'R, and the Sharans have the stability to have figured it out the Eratosthenes fashion. I also wonder when exactly they did lose the knowledge and how absolute it is - do the Aes Sedai and others with access to ancient libraries know the truth and just don't bother to correct the commonfolk?

The three young men from Emond’s Field began clapping their hands with the first note of “The Wind That Shakes the Willow,” and they were not the only ones.

You too can hear this song, as it's been defictionalized! Check it out maybe?

The only unsmiling face he saw was on a man huddled by one of the fireplaces, and that fellow had a scar that crossed his whole face from one temple to the opposite jaw, giving his nose a slant and drawing the corner of his mouth down. The man met his gaze and grimaced, and Rand looked away in embarrassment. Maybe with that scar the fellow could not smile.

Rand's efforts to be kind to the disfigured are a wee bit undercut by the fact that the disfigured dude is evil. (See the upcoming stuff on Shadar Logoth if you are a Wheel of Time fan who has missed out on the understanding that present day Whitecloaks are universally evil.)

He had only a moment to gather himself before they changed again, and he found himself dancing with Moiraine. If he had thought he was stumble-footed with the Wisdom, it was nothing to how he felt with the Aes Sedai. She glided across the floor smoothly, her gown swirling about her; he almost fell twice. She gave him a sympathetic smile, which made it worse rather than helping. It was a relief to go to his next partner in the pattern, even if it was Egwene.

Note that unlike Mat and Perrin, Rand dances with all three women in the party here: the maiden who disapproves of him, the mother figure struggling with her political power, and the crone who knows his fate. Deliberate foreshadowing, or proof of the human mind's ability to match patterns in anything presented to it?

“I wonder,” Rand said thoughtfully, “what the Women’s Circle would say about the Wisdom dancing? Maybe that’s why.”

Also note that Rand is again understanding politics at a far greater level than his peers. Good thing it's not Perrin who... ends up... oh. Oh dear.

He danced with Egwene again, too; she stared at him, dark-eyed and always seeming on the point of speaking, but never saying a word. He was just as silent as she, but he was sure he did not scowl at her, no matter what Mat said when he returned to the bench.

The problem is that Rand is displacing his frustrations incredibly hard. He wants all of this nonsense to be over, to go to Tar Valon, have the Amyrlin pull a solution to their problems out of her stole, and be sent back home, same as it ever was. Egwene hoping to leave shatters this delusion and forces him to consider that things wouldn't be the same back home after everything that's happened even if he did get to go back. Since he can't vent his frustrations at the Trollocs and he's smart enough not to try to vent at Moiraine, Egwene is the next best thing for him, so he's glaring at her like she personally stabbed his dad and burned down Mat's house.

Meanwhile, I don't think Egwene is really internalizing the whole "the Shadow is specifically after three random country boys from the assend of nowhere" (frankly I don't think she really believes it at all but Moiraine said it to her so it would be hard to fully deny). To her, it's an exciting adventure and Rand's problem must clearly be that he thought she'd be the dutiful girlfriend waiting for him back home and he's just upset about their relationship that never really was being over. This is why I think she would be ready to try and be the one to patch things up during these dances - she's completely misunderstood what's going on with Rand's pettiness and hopes that he can at least be persuaded to not leave things on so shitty a note - and why she's just stunned into silence because she's expecting mournful ex-boyfriend and getting way more intensity than she's able to deal with. It's probably for the best; if she did start up along the lines I think she'd be going for the two would probably end up fighting even more.

“There’s a fellow been staring at me,” Mat said. “A man with a scar across his face. You don’t think he could be a . . . one of the friends you warned us about?”

Honestly it's a little impressive the Whitecloaks even realized that Mat specifically did it when he made such a clean-seeming getaway. Not like the dude glared at Perrin.

“She has a bed,” Thom said dryly, “in with Mistress Alys and the girl.” Perrin whistled between his teeth, and Mat muttered, “Blood and ashes! I wouldn’t be in Egwene’s shoes for all the gold in Caemlyn!” Not for the first time, Rand wished Mat could think seriously about something for more than two minutes. Their own shoes were not very comfortable right then.

It's a bit to Rand's credit that he doesn't think Egwene's deserving what she's getting for running away from home, since he wouldn't even be wrong to think so. Incredibly petty, and not fully right, but not entirely wrong.

A man’s face, but pasty white, like a slug under a rock, and eyeless. From oily black hair to puffy cheeks was as smooth as an eggshell. Rand choked, spraying milk.

So Rand's first chapter Fade sense isn't entirely online here, while Lan at least thinks that something is wrong before they part. I wonder if he could only notice the Fade from before because it was watching him specifically, while now since it's not focused on him until they cross paths and he's only just sparking he doesn't have a clue.

Lan leaped down the last stairs, landing with a crash, sword in hand.

Lan's a horrible life coach, but he's one hell of a bodyguard.

“You must take this seriously,” Moiraine was telling the innkeeper. “You will certainly have trouble here by morning. Darkfriends, perhaps; perhaps worse. When it comes, quickly make it clear that we are gone. Offer no resistance. Just let whoever it is know that we left in the night, and they should bother you no further. It is us they are after.”

Poor Moiraine, even when she tries to look out for the people caught in their wake, her advice comes to naught. She's really trying here, and if she was as political and calculating as she's been trained to be she'd be totally fine with Fitch covering for them and possibly dying for it. Certainly the inn is no more of a loss in those terms than the ferry.

“You think Trollocs might come here hunting for us?” Mat asked. “Trollocs!” Moiraine snapped. “Of course not! There are other things to fear, not the least of which is how we were found.” 

Moiraine: Officially Sick of Mat's Shit

And he hasn't even stolen any daggers yet.

Nynaeve shrugged her cloak against the wind as they left the inn. “Perhaps there is something after you. But I came to see you safely back in Emond’s Field, all of you, and I will not leave till that is done. I won’t leave you alone with her sort.” Lights moved in the stables where the ostlers were saddling the horses.

She won't see any of them safely back in Emond's Field, let alone all of them. Perrin goes back on his own, the rest don't. True to her word though, she doesn't leave - and she doesn't leave Rand alone with her sort, even when she becomes an Aes Sedai herself.

“Egwene,” he said, “I’m sorry. I can’t seem to think straight anymore.” She leaned down to grip his hand hard. In the light from the stable he could see her face clearly. She did not look as frightened as she had.

This is one definitely useful thing that Min's visions did. The thing that finally gets Rand to stop being stubborn is her saying that Egwene's part of the team, so he accepts it and the two of them come to terms just in time: the party's about to be separated soon and there won't be time to make amends until the end of the book after that!

“No one to come in, but nothing about leaving,” Moiraine said as if that settled the matter. “You see? We are not asking you to disobey the Governor.”

And look at that, absolutely no lawbreaking happening here.

“The Children of the Light,” the white-cloaked man who had first spoken said softly, “hold sway wherever men walk in the Light. Only where the Shadow of the Dark One reigns are the Children denied, yes?” He swung his hood from the Watchman to Lan, then suddenly gave the Warder a second, more wary, look.

And this of course, is complete bullshit. Who died and put the Whitecloaks in charge? It sure as fuck wasn't Lews, he didn't put anything in charge except lava. Let's see the Whitecloaks overpower some lava, and then maybe we can talk about who should succeed their extraordinarily short reigns and what kind of desserts we'd like at the memorial service.

The only thing I can say in their favor is that they're afraid of Lan, which they should be, because if he extra-judicially killed their asses right now it would be a crime but not a tragedy.

“Clearly, Watchman, I have saved you from a great disaster. These are Darkfriends you were about to help escape from the Light. You should be reported to your Governor for discipline, or perhaps given to the Questioners to discover your true intent this night.” He paused, eyeing the Watchman’s fear; it seemed to have no effect on him. “You would not wish that, no? Instead, I will take these ruffians to our camp, that they may be questioned in the Light—instead of you, yes?”

It's also hilarious that any so-called Wheel of Time fan would argue that Moiraine and Lan are wrong for trying to leave town at night but that the Whitecloaks are justified in leaving town at night to torture them, but I have seen it happen with my own eyes and it's disturbing. Even more disturbing is that this supposedly literate person thinks that the Questioners aren't horrific torturers when it's an actual threat the Whitecloaks employ against those who get in their way.

Moiraine’s shadowed shape towered high over the log palisade, head and shoulders a deeper darkness against the night sky, surrounded by a silver nimbus from the hidden moon. As he watched, mouth hanging open, the Aes Sedai stepped over the wall. The gates began swinging shut frantically.

A lot of people think this is hella early book weirdness with Moiraine actually making herself big and then small again, but to be very clear she just made it look like she was big and then stepped through the open gate. At the scale she was projecting, it seemed like she'd stepped over the wall. Note that when Egwene talks about it, Moiraine cannot explicitly confirm it.

“If they have attacked the inn,” Moiraine said, “perhaps our exit from the town and my . . . display went unnoticed.” “Unless that’s what the Myrddraal wants us to think,” Lan added. Moiraine nodded in the darkness. “Perhaps. In any case, we must press on. There will be little rest for anyone tonight.”

I never find this kind of worrying very productive. The Fades might well have noticed you leaving and burned down the inn in a hissy fit that they'd wasted their time being there at all. The Whitecloaks could have burned it down while the Fades have no clue of anything (for some reason this is what the wiki thinks). Best to only assume that Fitch is paying the price for his helping and to not try to guess a narrative that you will probably never understand.

“I would do something,” Nynaeve muttered unwillingly. “And in all probability hand the Dark One his victory,” Moiraine replied.

I do so love a good debate between deontology and utilitarianism. Moiraine, not being a protagonist, naturally takes the utilitarian argument, while Nynaeve holds the traditional ground of heroes but is powerless to do anything because we're much too early in her arc for that. Her refusal to accept that she can't win them all will lead her to a lot of victories.

“I thought we were safe, you know, Rand. Not a sign of anything since we crossed the Taren, and there we were in a city, with walls around us. I thought we were safe. And then that dream. And a Fade. Are we ever going to be safe again?”

Sorry Mat, but Rand is going to keep leaving reviews on Yelp for every inn you stay at, so you are never going to be safe again. That's literally the only reason you weren't safe. Shitty dreams suck but aren't a real danger, shitty secret keepers who tell Fain your address will ruin everything.

Perrin spoke quietly. “She should have done something.”

Maybe she could have sold two hundred people into slavery!

Unlike Nynaeve, Perrin will come to love utilitarianism when it comes to achieving his goals, and his goals will all be shit. But we'll get there, right now he's doing what he's told and that's a perfectly good goal.

All except Lan, that is. He ate, but he was not bleary-eyed, and he did not huddle. He had changed back into his shifting cloak, and it whipped around him, fluttering through grays and greens, and the only mind he paid it was to keep it clear of his sword-arm. His face remained without expression, but his eyes searched constantly, as if he expected an ambush any moment.

Bluntly speaking, he does expect an ambush at any moment and he's right to be worried. Rand is silly for thinking in terms of "as if".

Still though, compared to the Blight, this shitty winter day is way easier to deal with. Also, the Warders' tactical camo capes will never not make me laugh. It's really a good thing they didn't put it in the show.

But that's another chapter, and unlike Lan, I'm dealing with a shitty summer night, filled with heat and smoke. Thanks for reading, see you next time as the party takes the Caemlyn Road and gets to... not Caemlyn, that's for damn sure! What book series did you think you were reading where heroes just get somewhere without spending fifteen chapters on the way?