highgarden's first kingdom wide tournament in years begins with the presentation of the knights of the realm, their armour holding their house sigils along with the drapery of their steeds. their safety stands in the gods hands now, for even the finest of armour might be pierced should the hit land true. the excitement of the crowd is profound, their cheers and revelry filling the space as the knights ride in, one by one - the crowd naming their favourites early on, bags of coin tossed from hand to hand as bets are made young and old. as the last knight is presented, before they stand in line upon their horses, the crowd grows quiet as the requesting of favours begins:
daemon celtigar : requests the favour of the lady cersei lannister, claiming her charm incomparable among the ton. the lady, upon her mother's approval, 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗.
desmond mallister : requests the favour of lady dyanna marbrand. the lady, with great delight 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗.
gwayne florent: starred down his rival among the reach's nobles, before requesting the favour of the lyseni beauty, lady shaera rogare. even as her touch lingered upon his rival, the lady shaera herself blushed as she 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗.
jessamine hightower: failed to request a favour.
alaric mormont: requests the favour of the lady myranda, referring to her as his dearest. the lady. myranda claimed she would not dare deny him as she 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗
pearse sunglass : requests the favour of lady alyssa, declaring her deserving of such praise for her generosity as a most wonderful friend. the lady alyssa 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗
viserra targaryen : requests the favour of their cousin, the lady dovasary as her dearest companion. despite being seemingly irritated at the request, lady dovasary 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗
theon stark : rode directly to his lady wife, the lady shirei, and requested her favour. with their child giggling upon her lap, the lady shirei tied a ribbon of her own to their daughter's and 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗
calyx targaryen : with his brother's permission, requests the favour of his good sister, the princess catraena, insisting it would be unthinkable should the beacon of grace and devotion herself not be named the queen of beauty. with happiness the princess 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗.
elias baratheon : charms his would be queen as he requests the favour of the lady helaena zalyne. helaena blushed as she 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗
aelyx targaryen : requests the favour of his long time betrothed, the lady alysane, with practiced words. the lady alysane approached the stands as she 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗
kit moraqos : failed to request a favour.
matthos redwyne : rides through cheers as he approaches the lannister stand, approaching the lady lucretia and speaking in hushsed tones as he requests her favour. the lady lucretia herself held little gentleness in her gaze as she considered him before she 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗
elowyn harlaw : requests the favour of her sister, the lady gysella lannister, in an act of blood over bond. lady gysella asked the younger show the crowds what a harlaw is made of as she 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗
shyra hornwood : requests the favour of liege naerys paege, claiming their camaraderie will bring them strength upon the field. naerys pressed a hand upon their heart, speaking of camaraderie to victory, before they 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗
dantae dagareon : requests the favour of his sister, the princess malaya - stating he would like to see that each of his sisters have a crown. with a smile, the princess malaya 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗
amos tully : with some bravado requests the favour of his lady wife in both her name and that of their unborn child. the lady syrena, despite placing some jest - filled conditions, 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗
theodore baratheon: sparks some whispers among the crowd, along with the narrowed gaze of her grace, as he rides not to the royal stand but the liege arwyn mallister and requests their favour. the stands were silent as they waited - until finally liege arwyn 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗
antony arryn : brought whispers to the crowd as he approached the lady rhaenys, seemingly about to request her favour, before requesting the favour of his own wife. with some pause, the lady adrienne 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗
daeron targaryen: requests the favour of the lady laina. she 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗
arya stark: requests the favour of her brother, the lord martyn stark, claiming she hoped his support would see her steal a victory over their elder brother. lord martyn happily 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗
anika moraqos: was late in requesting the favour of the princess malaya, for their favour had already been granted. 𝗥𝗘𝗙𝗨𝗦𝗘𝗗
victarion greyjoy: requests the favour of his good sister, sylaisha of pyke, drawing muttering throughout the crowd for the fear of seeing a lowborn as their queen of love and beauty. as the crowd grew rowdier, sylaisha 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗
otto beesbury: following the slight of the queen in the case of her lord commander, lord beesbury - a lord of eight and twenty name days with bronzed skin and dark curls - approached queen rhaena with head bowed and act of devotion prepared as he swore his sword to her, claiming that none among the crowds was so deserving of the title as she. the queen considered this lord with interest, for how he charmed her so. nodding in approval, and sending one of her ladies to place a laurel wreath upon the lord's lance, her grace 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗
jocelyn dondarrion: requests the favour of her long-time betrothed, the lady olyvya dalt, on the grounds that should she win - she'd see them married in the fortnight. her beloved only laughed as she 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗
otto serrett: the lord takes this as his chance to profess his affections for the lady sofya as he asks for her favour, claiming to have loved her from the first moment he'd laid eyes upon her and that he would be lost without her. after a few moments of awkward silence, the lady sofya quietly 𝗥𝗘𝗙𝗨𝗦𝗘𝗗
altan manwoody: nearly falling off his horse before the matches have yet begun, lord manwoody is thick with drink as he approaches not his wife, but his long - rumoured lover, before calling even her by the wrong name as he demands her favour. needless to say, without a second thought she 𝗥𝗘𝗙𝗨𝗦𝗘𝗗
baris tarth: grits his teeth at the actions passed, and halts before his lady wife - the lady rhaenys - requesting her favour with words of adoration. the lady rhaenys claimed none to be more deserving of her favour as she 𝗔𝗖𝗖𝗘𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗗
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Sad, Beautiful, Tragic | Alicent Hightower
Two
Alicent Hightower x Targaryen!oc
Their fathers sworn enemies, Viserra and Alicent should never have been as close as they were, yet it was a connection neither could fight. What began as an innocent girlhood companionship becomes something scandalous, with the bastard daughter of Daemon Targaryen showing her true colours. As the dance begins she finds herself torn between her loyalty to her house and her love for her father. Yet neither hold a candle to her forbidden love for the new queen, a love which threatens to destroy them both.
Word count : 4.8k
A/N: wow, I never expected this much interaction with this story, thank you so much!
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~
The sky is crackling with thunder as I fly higher and higher into the clouds and above on Darkfyre, Rhaenyra following on Syrax. An almost daily occurrence. It's the only time I feel truly alive.
When we're forced to return to the ground Alicent stands there, waiting for us as she does every day. Despite our attempts to bring her up with us she insists she is happy as a spectator.
Yet she does not seem happy as Rhaenyra and I walk over to her arm in arm.
"Another pleasant ride?"
"More like a chase," Rhaenyra exclaims, her voice heavy from the exhilaration, no one having tested her as a dragonrider until I came along. "That was fun."
"I don't know about your definition of fun, but we should get inside," Alicent says looking up at the sky and tells us "Rhaenyra, I believe you're required in the small council chamber."
"Right," Rhaenyra says, and quickly goes to ready herself, meanwhile I turn to Alicent.
"Would you like to come with me to the dock to watch the ships come in from Pentos?" I ask her but she merely shakes her head, and I recognise the look in her eyes. "Now?"
"Yes, now," she says, unable to say no to her father, and especially not a king.
~
Once Rhaenyra returns from the council chambers she asks me to accompany her in choosing a new member of the kingsguard.
Otto stands behind us as we peer over the balcony, standing on stools to see properly. It's quite boring for the most part, but we're both pleasantly surprised to see Ser Criston Cole. It's only when Ser Harrold announces him we're truly paying attention.
"Ser Criston Cole, son of the steward of the Lord of Blackhaven."
Most knights I'm accustomed to are the sons of lords, a noble enough standing, but the son of a steward is almost nothing. Yet he bested my father in combat.
"Be welcome, Ser Criston," Rhaenyra says and we share a glance before she asks "You saw combat in the Stormlands?"
"Dornish marches, princess," he replies, impressive for a man who is so young compared to the other men standing here. "I fought for a year as a foot soldier against the Dornish incursions. Ser Arlan Dondarrion knighted me after we razed two of the watch towers along the Boneway."
Rhaenyra nods, and it's clear her decision is being waited on so I add "And princess may I add although we both remember it well, that he bested my father Daemon Targaryen at the heir's tournament."
I look down to Criston Cole, a handsome man there's no denying that, one who somehow feels like a match. A man of low standing and yet one with remarkable skill in combat. Rhaenyra and I share a look, both knowing her decision.
"I choose Ser Criston Cole."
I'm smiling to myself as Otto immediately warns "Let's not be too hasty, princess. There's no doubt Ser Criston is a fine warrior, but houses such as Cracknell and Mallister are important allies to the crown-"
"Well Lord Hand, considering you believe my father to be the greatest threat to the king's life you should be glad the princess has chosen a man who bested him in combat," I interrupt much to his displeasure, having found joy in being a thorn in his side.
"Yes," Rhaenyra agrees. "My father should be defended by a man who has known real combat, should he not?"
Begrudgingly he agrees "Of course, princess."
"Well let us plan Ser Criston's investiture then."
We're both smiling as we walk away arm in arm, yet only she is oblivious as to where Alicent is at this moment.
~
That night I find myself sitting in Alicent's chambers, waiting for her. Unable to deny the discomfort the thought of her alone with Viserys brings me. My uncle is a good man, likely taking the opportunity to show her his model city, glad someone to have someone that listens. But still, it's never sat right with me, and with each day that passes it only worsens.
The heavy door opens and her voice is stiff as she sees me, walking past me to pour herself a cup of wine as she asks "How did it go with Rhaenyra?"
"She chose Ser Criston Cole."
Alicent only sighs. "Of course she did."
"Does that bother you?" I ask, perplexed.
"Aside from the obvious reason he was chosen?"
It seems she's seen her father before coming here. "Because he bested my father in combat?" Her lips purse together, having forgotten that. "Why are you in such a sour mood lately?"
Her voice is tough. "You know why."
And so I walk over to her, taking her hand in mine and lacing my fingers with hers. "Then come forget it for a little while."
The tension slowly leaves her body at my touch, neither of us knows quite why we keep these nights secret from Rhaenyra, but we do. Nights where it's just the two of us.
I hold her close, her touch easing the loneliness inside. It's innocent, but something about it feels like it's for us only to see and no one else. Nights where we lay together, our fingers laced and bodies touching, just to feel some type of comfort.
We lie down on her bed atop the blankets and when I see the tears staining her face she doesn't need to explain why. I wipe them away and touch my forehead to hers. These past months have been difficult for her. Too difficult.
"Every time my father sends me to the king, I'm worried he'll ask things of me I don't want to give," she confesses to me, her voice shaking. "And whenever he sees me his eyes say it all, that I'm not doing enough."
"Then he does not know Viserys," I say quietly. "My fathers told me in his youth the two of them may have made their way through the street of silk but through his marriage to Aemma he never took a mistress, never desired to. He is not that type of man."
"I know, but my father-" she cuts herself off. "He wants me to make a whore of myself when I've never even been kissed. I wouldn't know what to do."
It's then I realise "Now I think of it I wouldn't know either."
She almost laughs at that. "You're you, Viserra Targaryen, of course you'd know."
I know better than her the things that happen in brothels, even if I've never partaken.
"I know I may behave like a man but I've never touched one," I tell her in all honesty, something that somehow surprises her. "I'd much rather ride my dragon." But as I look at her lips I can't help but ask "Have you ever wondered what it would feel like, to kiss someone?"
"Haven't we all?" she replies. "You're free to do whatever you wish, I must remain perfectly chaste."
I raise an eyebrow. "Would anyone know if you weren't?"
"I would," she replies, flustered. "I'd know."
Sex is something I've found myself thinking of often these past months, but it's something I haven't sought out. Perhaps it's guilt, knowing I can do so without consequence whilst for Alicent and Rhaenyra such a thing could destroy their prospects. When I think of it I often think of Ser Criston, wondering what a man's hands would feel like on my body, how rough they'd be opposed to when I'm in Alicent's arms, how chapped a man's lips would feel as opposed to my own lips, a woman's lips. How they'd feel.
How hers would feel.
I find my eyes fixed on them, perfect like the rest of her, and murmur "Is your chastity truly worth more than taking what you want?"
She blinks at me, confused. "What I want?"
I meet her eyes and ask "What is it you want?" She opens her mouth and I follow up. "I don't mean what your father wants, or what you should want. What do you actually want?"
She opens her mouth but struggles for words. "I-" for a moment I swear I see her eyes look to my lips before sitting upright, leaving me without her warmth. "I need a glass of water." She gets up and reluctantly I sit up, watching as she pours one for each of us and stiffly says "Since you're here would you like to help me finish the embroidery on my new dress."
It's the last thing I want to do, but to have an excuse to stay here I agree.
~
The following morning three of us come to the sept, Alicent and I listening to Rhaenyra's frustrations, but my head is still caught up in last night in Alicent's room and the strange feeling that's lingered like perfume.
"It's only been half a year since my mother died, and already they try to marry my father off and replace me as heir. I know those men and how they plot in their secret councils when I've been sent away."
Alicent and I share a look, Rhaenyra none the wiser. We'd hoped that Otto's attempts would fail, that the visits to Viserys would fizzle out into nothing, but I was wrong. We both were.
"You cannot worry at the matters of lords and kings Rhaenyra," Alicent says, secretly becoming defensive. These past months she's been racked with fear at the thought of Rhaenyra finding out, even to the point I've tried to convince her to tell her herself. But here we are. "What if your father were to remarry?"
Now that catches my attention, it is one thing to entertain a king, it's another to marry him. Alicent struggles to meet my eye and I know this plot is quickly growing stronger, and far more dangerous.
Those words visibly upset Rhaenyra and so I say "Six months is hardly even an appropriate period of mourning. The king lost his beloved wife, no one wise should ask him to even consider it for a long time to come."
Rhaenyra still doesn't speak, while my logic doesn't comfort her, Alicent's words do. "The king loves you. He chose you for his heir."
Rhaenyra's voice is harsh. "He didn't choose me he spurned Daemon." She quickly looks to me in regret. "I'm sorry, I'm not the only one who has lost a parent."
"I haven't lost him," I sigh, having hardly spoken of it. "Your mother died in the childbed and brother in the cradle, my father laughed about it in a brothel and got himself exiled to Dragonstone where he is living with his whore without even the decency to send a letter."
A lie, but not completely. I know very well my safety and the council's trust in me is dependent on my loyalty to Viserys and Rhaenyra, and of no contact with my father. There has been none, except for my fifteenth nameday several months ago. There was no letter, nothing, except for a ring bearing the sigil of our house. A reminder from him that despite my birth, despite the fact at barely sixteen he'd impregnated my mother and yielded a bastard, I'm still his daughter, I'm still a Targaryen. And most importantly not to forget it.
Her voice is as gentle as it gets. "But he is still your father."
It's then Alicent, feeling we are all grieving something guides us over to where the candles are lit to pray. "Kneel with me."
It's a command we do not refuse, each of us kneeling on either side of her, being in a holy space so strange to us, and engaging with it even stranger.
Alicent's voice shakes a little. "I find this is a way to be with my mother. Here in the quiet of the sept I feel close to her." She backtracks knowing neither of us have faith like she does. "I know it sounds foolish."
"I don't think it's foolish," Rhaenyra says and I quickly follow.
"It isn't, it's sweet," I say, giving her a small smile and she nods, returning it.
"Good, because I thought you both might try."
She passes us each a stick of incense, and notices our hesitation.
"If not for me, then for them," she says and looks to me. "For all our mothers."
My mother, Jeyne, daughter of Lord Egan. A man of a small house sworn to House Arryn and the Vale, although they disowned her when she fell pregnant. Yet she grew up companion to Aemma, and it was her love for my mother that spared us both from ruin. It was her love that kept me cared for when my mother died in the childbed until my father came, a young man of sixteen tempted to let me bear the fate of the bastard. He'll never admit it, but I know it was by Aemma's insistence that he claimed me as his.
We light the incense, and I stare through the smoke at the flames. Yet it is not my mother I mourn, but my father. He's had stints like this over the years, but not this long, not without me. Even if that part is my own fault. Yet I cannot regret it when I have Alicent and Rhaenyra beside me. Rhaenyra is my sister but Alicent... Alicent has become my confidante and I her's.
I come out of my daze to see Rhaenyra in tears. "I want him to see me as more than his little girl."
Alicent tries to assure her "Mine own father does not know the language of girls either."
"Well you both know mine so that should go without saying."
I manage to make them both laugh a little, but in truth I wish that my father would just see me as his little girl. Not as his dragon rider or heir to nothing or fighter. Just his little girl. If he did then perhaps he wouldn't do the things he does.
It's when Alicent speaks that I go quiet. "When I wish to talk with him, I know that I must make the effort."
I'm quiet as they continue to pray, something Alicent notices for that night she comes to my rooms, just her.
Again I'm looking through incense into a candle flame, as if I could be a dreamer, but I'm not, unfortunately I inherited my fathers mind for realism.
"You were quiet earlier," she begins. "I know you didn't want to say anything since Rhaenyra was already upset..." she comes over and sits beside me on the long armchair. "You can talk to me."
I shake my head, the irony of it all making me mad. "You and Rhaenyra, despite the difficulties with your fathers you can speak to them... my father has so many enemies here at court that if I spoke with him they'd twist it into something ugly, a conspiracy."
"Is that what you want?" she asks me. "To speak with him?"
"I want him here," I say, my voice strained as I look at her. "I have everything I could need except for my father. He- he's all I've ever truly had. I never had my real mother nor her family, the closest thing to that was the queen and now she's gone that leaves my father, who is also gone. Banished."
Alicent offers "I could speak with the king-"
Immediately I reach for her hand, shaking my head. "No, don't do that."
She's confused. "Why not?"
"Because it is a dangerous thing to do, what you do now is dangerous enough but to involve yourself in such matters could put you in harms way."
While I'm worried she dismisses it. "My father has already done that."
I look down at our joined hands, a strange ache in my heart, a rage barely hidden. "I hate him for what he's done to my father, for what he's done to you."
I've never said it so frankly before, but it's hardly a surprise to her. "The king must remarry, he's merely put me in his sight."
I still at her resignation which has become almost acceptance. "Except you do not want it." She doesn't say a word as she looks down at her hands, her nails bloodied. "Tell me you don't want it."
She opens her mouth, but struggles with words. "I-" She stumbles over them and I let go of her hand and get to my feet, standing over her. "Viserra."
"You'd be betraying Rhaenyra," I say, having supported her in this until now. "You came to me half a year ago in tears because your father wanted you to comfort the king, and now- now you're telling me if he were to take a new wife you would want it to be you?"
"No," she quickly says, jumping up. "I never said that."
But something's changed in her eyes since that night. "But your father has."
She purses her lips together, picking at her nails until she blurts out "He doesn't have to."
I look down at her hands and grab them, holding them tight in my own. "It's me Alicent. I know you don't want this, I know you're trying to accept your fate but there's still a way out of this."
She blinks at me confused. "How?"
That is the question I hoped she wouldn't follow up with. "We'll find a way."
Now she's the one to shake her head at me as she rips her hands away and steps back. "You would sooner get yourself exiled trying."
"Then I'll get myself exiled," I say without hesitation, not understanding this feeling which I can only label as fear, not fear of exile, but fear of losing her.
"No-"
"I would."
"You wouldn't."
"I would," I insist, knowing it's the truth but she stares at me with wide eyes as if I'm mad. "You know I would."
"I know you're reckless," she says, stepping closer to me. "I know you pretend not to be, you pretend to be a lady to keep everyone happy but I know what you are. I might be the only person who does."
I step closer, challenging her. "And what's that?"
She's as angry as I've ever seen her, and I could almost smile at having brought it out, brought out what I know is beneath her pretty face but I could not expect the words that come from her mouth "I know you're in love with Rhaenyra."
She catches me not just off guard, but leaves me utterly stunned. "What?"
She stands her ground. "Why else would you stay here when your father was exiled?" I'm that blindsided I cannot even think let alone form words as her voice shakes with what I can only call jealousy. "I see how you look at her, I see you two together when you fly on dragonback, I've been a witness watching for months-" She pauses, as if questioning if she's going too far but she knows she's already crossed whatever line there was between us. "My father... he warned me long ago that you- that you favour women."
I blink at her, the mention of Otto waking me up "Well then he must know my heart better than I for that is news to me."
She just shakes her head at me. "Don't deny it, we both know it to be true."
Except I don't. "I-"
She cuts me off again. "I've seen how you look at Rhaenyra and she at you, is this the reason you're so adamant about me not marrying the king? Because you cannot bear the thought of betraying her?"
Again, an accusation that is news to me and I cannot help the disgust that edges my words. "You- you think I'm in love with Rhaenyra?"
She just looks at me as if I'm an idiot. "I know it." I open my mouth, unable to even begin to find the words to tell her how wrong she is, but again she speaks in my place. "I'm not blind, I saw it long before my father ever did."
"Otto," I begin, my voice thick. "Otto decides to slander me by painting me as what? Some heinous girl who seduces her friends?"
It's then I see panic cross her face. "No- I didn't mean-"
"And to accuse me of being in love with Rhaenyra," it's that part that truly bewilders me. "She is a sister to me, an annoying sister who I fight with but love dearly as kin, I could never see her as anything but that." I look at Alicent, who's turned pale. "How could you think that?"
"I-" it's only now she stumbles over her words. "I shouldn't have said anything."
Before I can reach for her she's running towards my door and I'm calling out her name "Alicent!"
She runs out, but if she thinks I won't follow her she's dead wrong.
I chase after her, calling out her name as she runs down the hall in the dead of night but I'm faster and catch her wrist. "Alicent!"
She looks back at me with tears in her brown eyes, something which only bewilders me more. "I shouldn't have said anything, I'm sorry, please- please forget it."
But I just stare at her with wide eyes and exclaim "How? How can I possibly forget that?"
"Please, I'm asking you- I'm begging you Viserra please-"
It's then a shrewd voice rings out and we both see Otto walking towards us. "Let go of my daughter!"
But something possesses me and I pull her behind me, defiant. "No."
He stops in front of us and threatens "Let her go before I call the guards."
I just laugh dangerously, something which unnerves him. "Is that what you think I am, a heinous bastard who seduces noble lords daughters?"
"I know you are."
Without thinking, without even a shred of sense, I reach for her face and bring her lips to mine. It's brief yet everything I dreamed it would be, the feeling of a woman's lips on my own, but overshadowed by the realisation that in a single moment I know I've thrown us both into the flames.
She stares at me, wide eyed and speechless as it dawns on me what I've done and I look to Otto who gapes at us in pure disgust.
"I will-"
"What?" I taunt, calling his bluff as I let go of Alicent to challenge him. "Tell the king? I think we both know you wouldn't dare."
He'd never risk his daughter's reputation, never risk her chances of becoming queen for his own hatred for me, no matter how tempting. Without looking back at Alicent I push past him, blood pumping and head light as I march back to my chambers. The moment the door closes behind me it's as if a wave has come over me.
"Fuck, fuck, fuck," I curse under my breath as the weight of what I've done hits. I'm trembling, not out of fear of repercussions from Otto or the king. But of Alicent. Of what this means for us.
My first instinct isn't self-preservation, but escape.
I'm leaving tonight.
Quickly I change into my riding clothes, leaving my crimson dress discarded on the floor as I grab my dagger, securing it around my waist before making my escape from the castle and to the dragon pit.
The dragon keepers don't question me as I bring Darkfyre out and mount her, going the only place I've ever gone when in trouble. To my father.
Before I even know what I've done Dragonstone is in the distance, and I land atop the bridge leading to the castle, climbing down from Darkfyre, unable to hear the sound of my own feet running in the darkness over the pounding of my heart.
Knowing there's no such thing as a quiet entrance with a dragon I run inside calling out for him despite the hour. The Goldcloaks don't dare to stop me.
"Father!" I cry out, and it's only then the tears come to me, a scared girl longing for her fathers assurance. "Father!"
There's a hand on my arm and I look to see Ser Harwin. "Princess?"
"I need to see my father," I say, suddenly aware of my current state and how I must look, and he quickly guides me through the throne room where goldcloaks have summoned my father.
It's there he runs in, utterly bewildered to see me here but he doesn't ask questions as the goldcloaks vacate the room, taking me into his arms making sure I'm not hurt.
"I fucked up," I cry into his shirt, knowing those words I've always been able to say to him if no one else. "I've ruined everything."
He pulls back, hands on my shoulders, voice firm "Did you kill someone?"
I look up at him, struggling for breath as I confess "I kissed Alicent."
His eyes roll that far into the back of his head as he lets me go, muttering "You wake me up at this hour..."
"Father, this is serious," I insist, biting back my tears. "Otto Hightower thinks I'm a heinous seductress determined to corrupt his daughter."
I watch as he simply sits back on the throne, forehead in his hands. "Otto, what the fuck does Otto have to do with it?"
"I had a fight with Alicent and Otto found me running after her and accused me of trying to seduce his daughter so I- I kissed her."
He looks up, hiding a smile behind his hand. "Well are you?"
"Of course not!" I exclaim and he raises his hands in his defence, amused. "Why are you laughing?"
"So, Otto accuses you of seducing his daughter, and you go and prove him right by seducing his daughter."
My body is stiff as I insist. "I did not seduce Alicent!"
"Why not, if everyone's accusing you of it why not do it?"
"Because I don't-" I cut myself off but he just waits for me to finish. "I don't have those predispositions."
He scoffs "Bullshit."
I gape at him. "What do you mean bullshit?"
He chuckles. "Must I point out the obvious?"
I glare at him which only makes him laugh more. "Stop it."
"Stop what? You're the one that's arrived here on dragonback in the middle of the night screaming bloody murder because you kissed a girl," he remarks. "And I'd almost forgotten you were fifteen. So to clarify, you kissed Alicent in front of Otto."
"Yes-" he laughs, enjoying this too much.
"Oh to see the look on his face, well done."
"Well done?" I repeat. "Is that truly all you have to say?"
"Well what else is there?" he asks me. "You finally realised you want to fuck Alicent Hightower and half succeeded whilst pissing off that old cunt so well done."
"I don't want to-" I cut myself off, more frustrated than upset now at least. "I don't want to fuck girls."
He just sighs, shaking his head at me as if I'm an idiot. "Yes you do, don't deny it. If you stopped arguing with me for five seconds you'd see it."
And so I shut up, and indeed it does only take five seconds for me to realise just what that strange feeling I've been harbouring all these months is.
"Shit."
He just watches on amused as it finally dawns on me after all these months, after all these years of craving a woman's touch, craving hers. But- but I've always found men attractive, just none have ever managed to hold a candle to her.
All this time I've asked her what she wants, without ever stopping to consider for a moment what it is I want. Perhaps it's because whenever the words have left my tongue she's been right there in front of me, already there.
Until now.
I look at my father, realising what I've just revealed about myself and ask "You aren't- you aren't angry?"
He just raises his eyebrows at the question. "Do you think I'm Otto? Of course not. I'm just glad it's not Ser Crispin you're crying over."
"But I- I still think I like men," I say, confused but certain of that much and he curses.
"So close."
It's then we're interrupted by his whore.
"Has it been done?" Daemon asks her and she nods. "Good. Time you properly met my daughter. Viserra, this is Mysaria, Mysaria, my daughter Viserra."
"Princess," she says, her voice foreign, and excuses herself as quickly as she came. She's still here with him after six months, that alone shocks me.
"Do you love her?" I ask my father, and he merely shrugs.
"I like her company enough."
I never understood his animosity for Rhea Royce, I always admired her, and she was always kind to me. But I can say now I've never understood love, never understood what it must be to be forced into another's heart until I saw Alicent being forced to the king's chambers.
It's then I confess to my father "Otto is plotting to make Alicent queen."
He pauses, taken aback. "They're plotting to replace Aemma already?"
"With Alicent," I say, needing someone to share my anger. "Otto wants his daughter to be queen, he's had Alicent visiting the king for months now."
He stews on it. "Otto that bastard, of course he has."
"How do I stop it?" I ask him and he looks up at me in surprise. "I don't care about the consequences, she doesn't want this, so tell me how I can stop it."
With those words he looks at me with a newfound pride. "You'll likely get yourself exiled."
"I don't care," I say as quickly as I did when Alicent said those same words. "I- I can't watch her marry him."
I won't. I won't watch Alicent marry my uncle, I won't watch her be forced to have children that would replace Rhaenyra. It's always been the three of us, we swore allegiance to Rhaenyra. I won't let Otto destroy everything. No matter the cost.
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