#depends on how it goes. but yeah both places i Should be able to get a more comfortable setup for my drawing going

[gutsfics]

i did another test w my drawing setup !!! im slowly figuring things out

tomorrow im gonna work on putting together a simple commission sheet so that should be up by tuesday or wednesday at the latest 👍 really excited to getting closer to doing those!!!!

[oldworldghost]

Are requests still open? If yes could we maybe see a jealous P please? Like he’s learning his emotions and he learns he doesn’t like jealousy or something

Jealous Pinocchio! ☆

↳ Hello nonnie! Requests are indeed still open, and I love jealousy prompts >:3 also sorry to everyone who has sent in a request that I haven't answered yet, I have been sick and busy, well, playing the game </3 Under the cut because this is a long boy

➸ Okay so jealousy with Pinocchio obviously depends, much like you said, on how human he is; how much he knows about not only his own emotions, but emotions in general. It's because of this that, at first, there really isn't a lot of instances of jealousy on his part, and what instances there may be are not going to be immediately recognisable as such. And of course this is due to the fact that Pinocchio just doesn’t have a good grasp on his own emotions initially; he knows he’s feeling something and that that something is almost unpleasant, he just doesn’t know what to do with it or even what to call it.

➸ The main way jealousy at first manifests with Pinocchio is a little off putting, almost. You could probably mistake it for a sort of increased protectiveness; when he sees you talking to someone he stands close, glares at the other person or just watches like a hawk for the duration of the conversation. He doesn’t say anything or really do anything and it gets a little creepy. Don’t get me wrong, Pinocchio doesn’t mean it in a bad way whatsoever – he just wants your attention – but to everyone else it looks like he’s waiting for whoever you’re talking to to suddenly attack or something. It’s his eyes that do it, they’re so dead that is just doesn’t inspire any form of ease when it happens. Luckily, these instances are rare and fairly easy to handle. Just give him your attention and he’ll relax. And of course, as he grows this habit of his simmers down and changes.

➸ [Honestly though this could be so funny too because like, despite the fact that it’s both unnerving and rare I imagine that everyone would eventually end up catching on to what’s happening and god they have a field day with it. Especially Venigni. He doesn’t mean any harm but seeing Pinocchio look like he’s going to combust on the spot is a little bit funny. Do the rest help enable Venigni and this habit? Maybe, maybe. Eugénie is the main co-conspirator here.]

➸ As Pinocchio changes and becomes more human he settles into his feelings more, he learns and grows to not only feel them but process and identify them. And this, of course, goes for jealousy as well. Through both his own experiences and talking with humans Pinocchio is able to realise that yeah, he’s felt jealousy. That that's what that uncomfortable tightness was. However what is most interesting is that the more human Pinocchio becomes the more jealous he finds himself getting, and on a more regular basis. A part of this is because there is an increasing depth to his character and emotions, so naturally they grow more intense, but the more important part is the growing cause of his jealousy; that being his nature as both puppet and human.

➸ Now I do believe that Pinocchio never had an inherent desire to be human, and that it was something he strove to become because he believed that his father would want him as one, and because as a “special puppet” it would only make sense for him to try and change his nature. And so what Pinocchio was or should be never quite bothered him at first - more just filled him with a sense of confusion – but as he grows more human the more he genuinely wants to be one, and your relationship with him plays a major part in that and his jealousy. You see, Pinocchio wants humanity so he can truly love you, but it is this growing humanity and desire that places the weight of what he really is on him; a puppet and as such not enough.

➸ It is jealousy born of insecurity, the more he tries to change the more his faults become apparent to him. His perceived inability to emote, to understand; the disconnect between himself and you, the gap that Pinocchio wonders if he will ever be able to truly close. He is worried, very much so, about being replaced or cast aside, because if the choice came up between himself and someone fully human, well, why on earth would you chose him? This insecurity is only heightened post game, where – and of course spoilers – Pinocchio has been betrayed by his own father, the person he thought loved him despite his being a puppet. I don’t want to build it up too much, but being told you’re only there to be replaced and that you’re not enough by someone who you trusted has to leave its mark, especially when you share memories with the person you were supposed to be only to realise that they were never enough either. Like, yeah. Ouch!

➸ Of course as Pinocchios’ emotions grow so do the rest of his abilities, including being able to tell what he truly does vs doesn’t like feeling. He could always kind of do it, but now he is able to fully articulate the why of it, and jealousy has landed itself into the category of “I Do Not Like This”. Now that itself is fairly obvious, no one likes being jealous, but the main reason its there for Pinocchio is because it makes him feel bad, almost guilty. To him jealousy indicates a lack of trust in partners, but the kicker is that he does trust you. Despite everything that’s happened Pinocchio places his full trust and faith in you day after day, or at least he thinks he does, and on top of that even if you did end up finding someone better and/or leaving he would have no right to stop you. If you wanted to it would break Pinocchios heart, but he would let go because he would hate to try and control you; to force you into something you don’t want to be in. And so not only does his own jealousy make him feel bad but it confuses him greatly, because Pinocchio knows that he can’t control you and that he can trust you, so why does he still get that sinking feeling when he sees you with someone else? [It’s the unresolved issues, but you didn’t hear that from me]

➸ On a lighter note though, while Pinocchios jealousy is heightened and most frequent post-game it will naturally simmer out, much like how the whole protective-jealousy phase did. That is not to say that it is a fast process, naturally it is slow and time consuming - and that in part is due to simply how many things there are to do now that his father and Simon are dead - but with the support of yourself and a few makeshift therapy session with Gemini and Sophia [i.e. literally just talking about what he’s feeling], it ends up being something that he can handle a fair bit better than before. Still a slow process, but manageable [also PAUSE imagine Gemini on a table and Pinocchio laying on a couch like they’re actually in a therapists office with Sophia taking notes].

➸ Anyway yes, the main thing that helps is through talking to you. It gets to a point – and rather quickly at that – where Pinocchio finds that he just really needs to tell you what he’s feeling. He feels bad about it, of course, but I think what he really needs to be told at first is that it’s just natural. People get jealous even if they don’t want to or mean to and sure maybe not like he does, but that is something that can be worked on. Pinocchio needs support in his own ways and for his own things, even if he might not necessarily want to admit it, but luckily Pinocchio can also a very transparent lover, especially after becoming human.

➸Okay to drag this whole thing on let’s back peddle a teeny bit. How jealousy manifests at the heightened point actually shares similarities with how it initially manifested. However instead of coming off as protective it very obviously comes off as jealousy mixed with something akin to fear, for reasons already discussed. He also develops the habit of just quite literally pulling you away from whoever you’re talking to and taking you somewhere else. Pinocchio does this under the guise of “I’m human now so I want to spend as much time with you as I can to bask in it” but it is very obviously just Not That. Or more not fully that, anyway. It does retain a little bit of the humour it originally had, and yes there’s still a little bit of poking fun and riling him up [especially from Venigni] but that is rare, mainly because it’s kind of also just sad that he feels the need to do it after everything they’ve all been through together. And Pinocchio knows rationally that none of them are going to try and “steal” you off him, for lack of a better word, but that rational thinking just doesn’t help much here. However this is also not the only habit that develops, sometimes Pinocchio will simply avoid you for a little, a sort of self pitying isolation mainly because he doesn’t want you to see him upset or jealous. None of the hotels residents know which one is worse to witness, honestly it might be a tie.

➸ Okay so on an actual actual lighter note [and because we cannot be here all day], once both Pinocchios’ relationship with his humanity is better his jealousy becomes something fairly rare, much like at the start. And by that point Pinocchio has also come to terms with it too, it’s a part of him he can accept and make peace with. After this, a lot of instances of it are just kind of cute. Like I will be absolutely real with you he is playing it up to get your attention; you’re getting puppy dog eyes, pouting, and in private Pinocchio’s going to go on some very light hearted spiel about how you no longer love him, all “woe is me” on you. As a human Pinocchio has grown a rather mischievous and sassy yet still gentlemanly personality and it so fucking shows here. A lot of these instances of jealousy are caused by, you guessed it, Pinocchio not getting enough attention, which is a little funny because by this point he’s very able to be alone by himself for a while. The other instances are people just getting too close [i.e. Venigni and Eugénie] or things of that ilk.

[javaghoul]

Baby write me a jealous Arima, Tsukiyama and Yomo too please!!

Hope ya doing good with your work stuff and that your tattoo is satisfactory

I read this and was creeped out because I forgot I said I have a new tattoo. I was like "😱 how did they know 😱"

Work&my tattoo are both good thanks. Hope you're well too.

Jealousy hcs pt2

Arima

Deeeeefinitely gets jealous, although you'd never guess by his outward appearance

I think Arima is someone who doesn't fully understand his own feelings at times, and when he gets a certain way, will overcompensate to appear "normal"

So when he starts feeling jealous, he'll become more friendly, more chatty, more SMILEY in public around his s/o...

...which is odd because he's a reserved guy. That will be an indicator that something's off

Y'know how the guy is too busy for life? Yeah, well jealous Arima will suddenly find the time to be more present in his partner's life. Will be able to hang out more, will show up unexpectedly. Definitely odd

In public, there's nothing too obvious to suggest he's feeling upset about anything. Or at least to those who don't know him too well. Behind closed doors, it's different

If his s/o or even someone who he is just interested in, starts paying a lot of attention to someone else, Arima will not hesitate to ask about it

It will be abrupt too:

S/o: *pottering about the house happily, living their best life*

Arima: "Why are you spending so much time with X? Do you have feelings for them?"

And you better believe he'll be SCRUTINIZING their reaction more than their reply

I also think that, if not satisfied with their response or how things are going, Arima is the type to snoop through their phone

Isn't above "having a friendly chat" with the other person whilst being in uniform and carrying a briefcase

Idk, I think Arima is a very grey character, I don't think he's had many opportunities at healthy relationships, and being a nosey detective, infringing on privacy isn't as toxic a trait to him as it would be to others'

Damn, Arima 🫤

Tsukiyama

In part 1, for some characters, I said that they wouldn't really get jealous because their confidence is good...

Tsukiyama isn't immune to jealousy; he's confident, mostly, but he's also very competitive. If his s/o or love interest seems to be distracted by someone else, he'll notice

And want to know why

He doesn't approach his s/o to begin with. Instead, he wants to find out about the other person who is demanding their attention. Jealous Shuu becomes somewhat of a social media stalker

Once he's figured out what this person is about, he'll become more verbal about it with his partner. There'll be questions disguised as "curiosity" - which is kinda accurate, but he's mostly gauging his partner's reaction

He'll encourage an opportunity for them to meet. Shuu will likely want to arrange something so he can ensure he has the upper hand

If all went to plan and he was able to meet the person, it would go one of two ways: he'd either be the perfect, polite partner, or he'd be a dick. It depends on what the other person does

If it goes badly, and if the other person is a ghoul, Shuu isn't above being openly hostile. He knows his ability, is well-aware of the power-house he has behind him in terms of his family, and simply wouldn't be able to help himself. If the individual was human, think cutting remarks and showboating

He's also one to casually point out the other person's flaws to his partner

Gets argumentative. Snappy. He won't admit he's jealous, but will find some issue with this person and use that as a reason for why his s/o should stay away from them

Failing that, he may "speak 😉😉" to the other person.

Yomo

These hcs are going to be all over the place, because emotionally, Yomo is all over the place, so I'm staying true to character lol.

Jealous type 💯

The thing with this idiot is he has a lot of very big feelings but no idea how to express them

So when his partner starts talking about a work colleague, or hangs out with someone new, Yomo can't articulate:

"Spending time with you is the best part of my day, and now all you do is talk about X. Why? Am I losing you to them? How do I stop this?", instead he sulks

He may start cooling off a little. In his head, he may think that if he backs off, his partner will chase after him. A bit like a "test" of sorts

Whenever the other person is mentioned, or is in the same place Yomo is in, the entire atmosphere changes. Yomo is very good at giving off "I really don't like you" vibes. Makes everyone feel very uncomfortable

Has moments where he's exceptionally clingy. He'll get grumpy if his partner is messing around on their phone, will be more tactile and cuddly...he wants their attention

Can get very shitty with his s/o. It goes beyond his usual one-word answers. It seems like he's looking for a fight all the time

Fortunately, I don't think he's the type to be able to maintain this behaviour for too long. Unfortunately, I think he IS the type to clear the air by having a big row with his partner rather than a conversation

He'll get everything off his chest, thoroughly confuse/upset his s/o and then feel terrible about it

He won't feel jealous anymore (kind of) but he will feel bad for causing these problems to begin with. Will then need reassurance that everything's going to be ok

(see what I mean about him being a mess?)

Make-up/emotional/idunnohowtospeaksoheressomethingphysical sex

[checkoutmybookshelf]

I'm Sorry, You Packed HOW MANY Tropes into that Hoopskirt???

So...I'd be lying if I tried to tell you that I picked up this book for any reason other than the big poofy 1850s ball gowns on the cover. I'd also be lying if I said I had any expectations beyond cute, fluffy, wlw romance.

Then we got stuck into the book and suddenly I was like...I'm sorry, this cover did not prepare me for the ANGST and GROUNDING and WEIGHT and POLITICAL DIMENSIONS of this book. Not to mention that it manages to pack a metric ton of tropes into not that long a book, including but not limited to second-chance romance, parent trapping, friends-to-lovers, and the power of friendship. AND it's LGBTQIA+. I was not expecting to cry over this book, but here we are. Let's talk Don't Want You Like a Best Friend.

This is your SPOILER WARNING because I'm running on three hours of sleep and don't believe for a second that I'm not going to be randomly tossing SPOILERS all over the place. Be warned.

Oh, and this is a CONTENT WARNING for marital and domestic abuse. For both this book and this review.

Gwen is a debutante in her fourth season with no interest in marriage and the biggest rake of a father in London.

Beth is a first-season debutante on a mission to marry well, because her cousin is repossessing her and her mother's house at the end of the season and they will be homeless and penniless.

So naturally they plot to get Gwen's dad and Beth's mom together.

This is not as wild as it seems, because before Lady Demeroven's father forced her to marry Beth's dad (who is both an abusive asshole and thankfully super dead), she was deeply in love with Dashiell Havenfort. When she broke his heart. Lord Havenfort went off, got drunk, partied, and then there was Gwen--who he raised as a single dad because Gwen's mother died in childbirth.

So we have that little powder keg to begin the story, and it's set against the increasingly critical backdrop of Havenfort and the father of the aggressively vanilla boy who decides to marry Beth (yeah, they have names, I don't care. It's vanilla boy and his dickhead dad from here on in) going toe-to-toe in parliament trying to pass and prevent, respectively, a piece of legislation that would allow women to divorce their husbands for reasons other than being beaten bloody. This really underscores the situation that Beth and her mother had been in, and the one that they might be in again if Beth goes through with the marriage to vanilla boy. Thankfully she doesn't, but honestly, the number of men just waltzing around in this world going "women are property and I should be able to beat the snot out of them if I want to" was really depressing. And that depression just intensified when Beth and Gwen finally realized they wanted a sapphic relationship with each other.

The patriarchy sucks, guys. So hard.

Watching Beth and Gwen try to parent trap their respective parents was a lot of fun, and once they realized what they wanted, their relationship was also fun. That's not to say that the book was perfectly executed, though. The first half of the book is slooooooooooooow. Like slow enough that I considered DNFing the book. I'm glad I didn't, because once the "Oh, I'm sapphic" realization hits, the angst of being sapphic in a patriarchal world where marriage was women's only real hope of financial stability hit true and hard. Trying to find another way to live in a world that didn't want you to exist was really interesting.

The other thing that I wasn't a fan of--and your mileage may vary--was that while the setting and politics and fashion were extremely well-grounded in the 1850s, the character dialogue and language is jarringly modern. At one point, someone said to "put that energy out to the world" and I just had to put the book down for a minute and take a few deep breaths. So depending on how real-feeling you want the history part of this historical romance to feel, your mileage may vary with the language.

Now, the thing that I truly loved about this book is that is faces abuse and its effects full in the face, and refuses to continue a cycle of abuse. The MCA passes, and then women help each other recover and get out of abusive situations. Lady Demeroven's first marriage was abusive and violent, although she hid the extent of it from Beth. She tries to ensure that Beth ends up with a man who will be kind to her, and vanilla boy might have been...but his dickhead dad wouldn't have been, and dickhead dad might have influenced vanilla boy to become abusive. Lady Demeroven ultimately refuses to allow either the cycle of accepting abuse or the cycle of abusive men teaching their sons that abuse is acceptable or *shudder* somehow their marital duty. Lady Demeroven goes on a whole journey to heal her own trauma enough to stop the cycle and protect Beth, and she does. She shuts that shit down, and they walk.

Like the door slam in the Tenant of Wildfell Hall, the door slamming behind Lady and Beth Demeroven heralds freedom and happiness. It is the end of a cycle that devalues women and that tells other women that they can make a different choice. And this book does it gently, acknowledging that doing so is HARD, and it takes courage and help and support. Honestly, I was SO HERE for Lady Demeroven's journey and her finding happiness with Dashiell at the end of the book.

Overall, this was not a perfect book. There were pacing and execution issues, and Lady Demeroven and Lord Havenfort kind of steal the show from their daughters' romance. But this book had THINGS TO SAY, and those things are important to say, and perhaps say even more loudly now in 2024 than they were back in the Victorian era. So this book was fun, it had clear things to say, and honestly it was a fun read.

[tryingforthedelicatehopeofitall]

So it's a typical Tuesday night and all I have to say is that I adore Wylan and Jesper and their love so much!! 🫶🏼

They have experienced a lot of cruelty and been through a lot of pain and hurt in their lifetime and then they find each other and it's like something shifts. As Taylor Swift would say planets and stars aligned to make sure that magic happens when they found each other.

They shared a night together which was dazzling in its own way only for it to end like that's the end of the story, when that was just Chapter One.

The next time they meet it feels like the song some of the original lyrics of Gorgeous were written about Wylan quietly pining after Jesper “You're so gorgeous and I ain't just talking about your face but look at your face and I am so curious your mind got me feeling some type of way ... 'cause you're so cool,  yeah you should think about the consequence of your magnetic field getting way too strong ... you know it ain't my fault ... you're so cool it makes me hate you so much ... I'm nothing that you want but I must say you're gorgeous. ...” 

And then they become friends and get to learn more about each other and start falling for each other. We get to witness what “... for once, you let go of your fears and your ghosts. One step not much, but it said enough. ...” “... we can't make promises now can we babe ... is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you're in my head? 'cause I know that it's delicate. ...” looks like on our screen. The gentle way that they care about each other and for each other ... UGH MY HEART!!!!!

Even when they are on the battlefield, they are so in sync with each other. The way they are their badass selves and look out for other people while simultaneously looking out for each other? The way Wylan has his hand on Jesper's shoulder when they are first on the ground and trying to figure out how to go about things as Tamar asks them who they are!!!!! Wylan's little smile and nod when Jesper goes ahead to show them “what it's like to be blessed”!!!! The way Wylan comes picks up one of Jesper's guns and gives it to him after that!!! And then all those little moments in the background where it seems like Wylan is hurt and Jesper does not leave his side once!!!!!

“MY MAN” (moonlit witch version willow ~ I'm begging for you to take my hand, wreck my plans that's my man!!!)

*twinkling sounds of a key being made*

Someone with gambling addiction using the thing they are dependent on to try and give Wylan a home. Wylan who has never known what a home is before “... because all these boys ... never took me quite where you do. And all at once, you're the one I've been waiting for – king of my heart, body and soul ... the taste of your lips is my idea of luxury ... we rule the kingdom inside my (your) room ... is this the end of all the endings, my broken bones are mending with all these nights we're spending ... baby,  all at once, this is enough. ...”

Also thinking about Kit and Jack's response to the question of what Wylan and Jesper's universe would like and they said something like — if wesper could create their own thing ... it would be quite a cozy place. There would be a fireplace and a safe - where they keep the guns and the bombs. They would hold onto their weapons as there is danger outside and in comparison to that, they feel safe together … they found each other amongst the chaos. … <3 

And how they found a home within each other — “they have quite the opposite first impressions but when they start speaking there is a shared language that they have and a shared understanding. They want to look after each other and protect each other amongst the utter chaos … they are able to sort of engage in what is quite a joyful, lovely time. They are both very damaged; especially with trust is how they are able to find homes within each other, safety within each other in amongst the wildness. …”

[leoneliterary]

Hi! I got quite curious after reading some of your answers to the magic anon and got inspired to think up some more questions; I guess you can say that this ask is Magic Questions 2.0! Although, if the questions get too close to spoilers, feel free to skip them!

Is it possible to enhance an item with specific magic? Like an enhanced sword, ring, helmet, bow, shield, etc. If yes, do the royal family/military utilize this skill?

Politically speaking, how is magic viewed in the world? Do certain factions support it more than others? Is it viewed negatively/positively in society, or perhaps is there just a neutral, common acknowledgment that it exists?

How long has magic been intertwined with humans? Since the beginning of human civilization? More recently?

Is forensic magic a thing? Like a sort of magic that can trace something back to another person? How effective would this kind of magic be to tracking down thieves? 🥲

How do the laws of physics interact with the law of magic? Does magic overrule physics or does physicals overrule magic? Does magic completely ignore physics or is it influenced by it? For example, if you were to use an ice or water based spell in a very warm and humid place, would that affect the strength of your spell? Or would the spell overrule those influences and remain equally as strong?

I’m loving the world building so far so I can’t help but crave for my tidbits! Thank you for all your hard work Leone! 😊

Ahhh thank you for sticking with me and for sending such a cool ask!

Sorry it took me such a long time to get around to answer it but I'm excited to have the opportunity to dive into some more of the lore!

Magic Questions 2.0

Is it possible to enhance an item with specific magic? Like an enhanced sword, ring, helmet, bow, shield, etc. If yes, do the royal family/military utilize this skill?

Yes and yes! Almost all noble families have magic heirlooms that have been passed down and magic is very much tied to warfare, with mages being used in both offensive and defensive battles.

The royal family also has many magical relics, artifacts, heirlooms, etc. But their relationship with magic is very old and very different.

Politically speaking, how is magic viewed in the world? Do certain factions support it more than others? Is it viewed negatively/positively in society, or perhaps is there just a neutral, common acknowledgment that it exists?

Everyone knows that it exists, but most people aren't involved with the extreme levels of it. Also, different groups have different origin stories of how it came to be, when it's appropriate to use it, etc. which can lead to friction between the many cultures that populate Hashind and the countries beyond. Politically, most view it positively, as long as you're doing it the way they think it should be done and for their benefit.

How long has magic been intertwined with humans? Since the beginning of human civilization? More recently?

Again, it depends on who you ask. Some groups that you'll meet will say that it is the result of their ancestor getting jiggy with a spirit, another group says that it's a force of nature, just as natural as rain and sunshine. But yeah, it's been around for as long as people have been able to pass down stories.

Is forensic magic a thing? Like a sort of magic that can trace something back to another person? How effective would this kind of magic be to tracking down thieves? 🥲

Everything leaves a trace and that's all I can say about that.

How do the laws of physics interact with the law of magic? Does magic overrule physics or does physicals overrule magic? Does magic completely ignore physics or is it influenced by it? For example, if you were to use an ice or water based spell in a very warm and humid place, would that affect the strength of your spell? Or would the spell overrule those influences and remain equally as strong?

The laws of physics and magic work together. You can't really create something with magic that goes against the laws of nature. Using your example, a water based spell in a very warm and humid place would cause a large amount of strain to whoever is attempting it and, depending of their ability, probably wouldn't last long.

Most spells interact with what is already natural, like accelerating the body's healing process, or starting a fire. But magic that tries to summon something out of nothing, or go against the laws of nature are very dangerous indeed.

[alpaca-clouds]

Medieval Living Situations

It is Sunday and Sunday means I am gonna ramble about history. Yay.

So, please, let me ramble about one thing that I see a lot of people struggle with, because modern sensibilities often collide with medieval practicality.

And that is medieval living situations.

Also, yes, this is a topic I kinda ramble a lot about because my main fandoms are both medieval or quasi medieval and I see a lot of people being super awkward about it.

Let me say it clear and loud: A lot of medieval houses had only one or two rooms.

I know, when people think about medieval houses they often tend to think about castles or at least manors of some sort, because those have more commonly been preserved. Or if anything some bigger farmsteads (usually those, that are in fact not medieval but rather date back to the 18th century). But... That was just not usual medieval living.

A lot of people in the middle ages lived in a house that had one room - or maybe two with a bed chamber and a main room.

This was both because they often had small houses, but also... because in winter you needed to keep the rooms warm somehow and that was easier if you only had one room. It was just more practical that way.

Of course, this depended on how rich people were. Some might have had a house with a couple more rooms. And a lot of farms might have had a place for the farmer and his family to sleep and then a different one for the farmhands and maids, if they could afford those. But for the most part: No, kids did not get their individual rooms from each other. And often enough not from their parents either.

Which, yes: For most of human history children tended to be privy to their parents fucking. This goes back even further than the middle ages. Because... well, yeah. It just was a thing.

Sure, in the households of the richer family, things might have been different in this regard... But for most people things were just a bit more practical and a bit less idealistic.

Depending on your economic standing, you also might only have a straw mattress. And if you were able to afford wool mattresses those would probably keep in the family for long.

Issue with this obviously being flees and the sorts. While people knew how to protect themselves in some ways... Those buggers tended to really be an issue for a fucking long time of human history.

Some folks however did figure out that burning certain herbs in the fireplace of their one room, made those little buggers more likely to move out. So, not all was lost for everyone.

Oh, and if the nights became to cold and the wood to keep you warm to expensive... You also could just move some cattle into the house and have them warm you up.

What I am trying to say is: We often look at medieval times too much with modern sensibilities. Stuff like: "Cattle has to live apart from humans," and "I need a nice soft mattresse," and also "kids should not be exposed to any sex". But... historically folks had to think just a bit more practical about how they designed their homes and lived.

And the thing is: That is alright. It did not make the people back then super miserable. Because life... Just is life.

[saintbehemoth]

Okay, okay, late with this ask, but I wanna unpack the sentiment that Daemon may have been preyed upon by an adult in his family as a child which led to his strange view of ‘sparing’ Rhaenyra from what would have been a consensual relationship with him.

So, who are our potential suspects?

In terms of family they had a lot at the time of Daemon’s childhood, but steadily lost more as time went on.

In no particular order:

Alyssa: the likelihood of Alyssa preying on her child in such a way, given what the book established about her love for her sons, seems very unlikely.

Baelon: if we’re framing daemon’s potential exploitation as a result of Alyssa dying Baelon potentially trying to “cope” 🤢 with her absence. Out of both of their children I picture Daemon physically resembling Alyssa the most (see: big ears). With this in mind, I’m not sure how likely or unlikely this would be. Baelon didn’t seem like the most present father, though both of his sons seem to remember him fondly.

Aemon: this one is a bit strange in the sense that daemon could have also become a coping device for the loss of alyssa. It could also attribute to some of the unnamed tension between rhaenys and daemon. Maybe she saw her father and her cousin acting strangely?Additionally, if it was Aemon that makes daemon’s taming of Caraxes that much more interesting. Claiming a piece of the uncle that tarnished him. That being said, Aemon was consistently described as being a protector within the family, so 🤷‍♀️.

Dishonorable mention: not family, but Otto. Just saying…

Let’s just say this interpretation of daemon (perpetuating a cycle of abuse) is making my abl brain light up

thrilled to talk about it!! always happy to. cycle of abuse goes crazy

edit: read this through and supposed i should add trigger warnings 😬 incest. childhood sexual abuse. grooming. dd:dne

i agree it’s not alyssa, who also died when daemon was about 3. she definitely haunts him for the rest of his life though - apparently being her favourite despite not being able to remember her, looking like her, both wilful + bold…..

yeah, i think baelon was a fine guy, but not a particularly good father. preferred making children to actually having them yk. i do think he was weird wrt family dynamics, in a targaryen way. way too close/familiar/intimate with (also dependant on) his siblings. currently playing with the idea that baelon was the one to get gael pregnant, because he ‘needed’ a new sisterwife…

ooohhh, i hadn’t thought of aemon. i always attributed the rhaenys daemon tension to him claiming her dead dad’s dragon. i always pictured it a bit like a cycle of vengeance, like rhaenys claimed daemon’s dead mother’s dragon p much right after her death, so daemon did the same and stole caraxes as a memory of aemon from right under her nose. and then of course that daemon raised an army for/supported viserys during the inheritance council and not her. brothers before cousins i guess

speaking of viserys….. can you guess who my number one suspect is…. 🤗🤗

yeeees, i think it was viserys. my friend worked out the age difference in the show and i think it’s something like 11 years ??! all guesstimation of course. in f&b the difference is 4 years. i like to place them 7 years apart. anyway the point is viserys is much older and in a position of power over his younger brother, both by placement of birth and then he becomes the heir…

some things that i think come into play here:

1. the targaryen obsession with having a daughter to match a son. see alysanne’s comment that alyssa “is for” baelon. the second child ‘ought’ to be a daughter, so technically daemon was supposed to be a girl anyway and thus viserys’ wife :/// also i think viserys would, perhaps subconsciously, blame daemon for not being a girl and causing him problems with finding a wife and eventually having to marry his not-sister aemma arryn, so that blame would manifest in… evil ways. ALSO what you said about daemon resembling alyssa - he’s basically a girl anyway, right? 🤔

2. daemon’s sudden not-banishment from court aged 16, to marry rhea royce. coincidentally the year of rhaenyras birth. how he and rhea never consummated. daemon’s subsequent back and forth in viserys’ court - one minute he is favoured, the next cast out. his complication relationship with his brother, clearly resenting him and his weakness but still crawling back like a dog every time, no matter how furious viserys was when he sent him away…… the complicated love/hate towards a once-beloved abuser…

and so, daemons sad attempt at ending the cycle. my brother badtouched me → i will badtouch his daughter. i think there’s smth to be said about daemon having two motives in the brothel scene at first, firstly he does love and desire rhaenyra but secondly he wants to ‘get back’ at his brother, but then of course realises that he doesn’t want to use rhaenyra as a pawn in that sense at all. crazy that years later he claims it was a sparing but at the time we know he asked viserys for rhaenyra’s hand… in his mind to be spared is from a rough reputation-ruining fuck, not from publicly recognised and supported incest…. can’t remember where i was going with this ^-^ something about secret/private vs public

okay last suspect. personally i think a combination of this one + viserys is [static sounds] x_x : corlys. daemon fought in the first stepstone war at about 16, corlys was velaryon commander and much, much older. perhaps the source of that tension between daemon and rhaenys you mentioned….. how to reconcile your husband with the solider who took advantage of your younger cousin on the battlefield. can see the excuse of ‘war’/‘all men do this during fighting times’ being used on daemon. older respected man in a position of power vs young second son desperate to prove himself….. what a combo

SLSMAJHD OTTO. i am a believer in otto ‘groomer’ hightower, but i think daemon wouldn’t stand for it from a non-family member…. like with otto he can complain to the king, but what can he do when the king is the one molesting him…

hope this made sense i wrote it in two sittings so it might be a bit garbled ;_; ty for asking ❤️‍🔥

[ramblings-of-a-mad-cat]

Given your history with the forbidden ship, what are your thoughts on krumione?

It took me a second to decipher the reference. Anon, you can say the name. Hayley isn’t a dirty word 🤣 just a questionable ship. Which is more or less the case for my man Victor Krum. The fandom is somewhat divided here. There are those who praise him as an underrated gentleman, and those who shame him as a creep who targets underage girls. 

Honestly, both sides are exaggerating. 

Krum wasn’t some unsung hero. He was a lonely, awkward guy with fame, but no friends. He was repeatedly described as being surly. He had feelings for Hermione, indicating that he appreciated her intelligence (and probably how different she was from his typical fan-girls) but so what? Just because Hermione didn’t get a lot of attention from boys, it doesn’t make Krum noble for having noticed her. 

Krum is a guy who was, I think, deeply affected by attending a school like Durmstrang. It didn’t turn him into a dark wizard or a bigot (likely because of the personal losses his family suffered at the hands of the Grindelwald regime) but it does seem to have affected his social skills in a negative capacity, and becoming a celebrity certainly didn’t help. Nor did becoming a Quidditch player. I’ve talked about this before but Quidditch players tend to be obsessive and throw everything else away, including basic morality, just so they can win. The Wronski Feint may be cool when you’re a kid reading the book for the first time, but in adulthood, it really hits me just how screwed up that actually was. He basically tried to kill the other Seeker. It’s not his fault that such a move is considered acceptable, but he didn’t have to use it. 

In general, I think fame hampered Krum’s ability to make friends, and rendered him unable to trust that people weren’t just trying to cozy up to him because he was famous. Unfortunately, this includes people like Ron, he’s a perfect example. Krum was a socially awkward, grumpy young man who probably did want to make friends and find love, but he had no clue how to do this, especially not in a school full of strangers in another country. (It’s no wonder he invited Hermione to come visit him.) Hell, we don’t know why he made the journey to Hogwarts in the first place. Was it his decision? Did he even want to enter the Triwizard Tournament? Or was he pressured into it by Karkaroff? 

I should elaborate on my feelings a bit more. I am by no means condemning Viktor Krum, because he may be strange and socially awkward, but that’s not a crime. Questionable Seeker plays notwithstanding, Krum doesn’t really do anything wrong during the story. It’s not his fault, for instance, that Karkaroff shamelessly favorited him, or that Crouch Jr used him as a puppet. If anything, his aggressive reaction to a perceived Grindelwald supporter is a mark in his favor. Krum is the sort of guy who has punched Nazis and gladly would again. Can’t really fault him for that. 

But what about the erumpent in the room, what about his interest in Hermione? 

Well, like I said, I don’t believe he ever does anything out of line. Is it creepy? I think that depends on the context. Is the age gap a little suspect? I mean, yeah, it is. But it’s hardly impossible for a guy Krum’s age to date a girl Hermione’s age without being a predator. To pretend otherwise is silly. That leaves the question - is Krum written to be a predator? The answer is no. I hardly think asking a girl to attend a chaperoned dance is predatory behavior. It’s implied that they dated a while afterward, that Hermione (probably) kissed him. But hey, if they hit it off at The Yule Ball, why can’t they see where that goes? Hermione being Krum’s Hostage in the Second Task is…weird, I’ll admit. Particularly since the judges were willing and able to procure family members from outside the country. But then again, is it not equally weird for Cedric’s Hostage to be Cho? They hadn’t been dating that long. Frankly, I think this just proves how lonely Krum is. 

I’ve seen posts that say he “isolated” and “threatened” Harry when he saw him as a romantic rival. Which seems like a major reach. All he did was ask for an explanation. There was no indication that he meant harm. And when Harry clarified, Krum changed his tune and acted more friendly. Again, he and Hermione were basically dating at this point. It’s not unreasonable for Krum to be angry if he thought Hermione was cheating on him. Overall, he should have confronted her instead of Harry, but that’s a different issue. My point being, it was not predatory behavior. No more than his being irritated that Hermione wasn't paying attention to him after the Second Task. He was already insecure about Harry, and he was the one who had "saved" Hermione, of course he wanted to be the center of attention in that moment.

Was it creepy for Krum to invite Hermione to visit him in Bulgaria? I’ve seen that sentiment expressed, that he was trying to “isolate her” (there’s that word again) in a country where he would be the only person she knew, and that this was a red flag. I’d just call it an inevitable reality. One can assume Krum would want to introduce her to his family and such. But until then, yeah, she wouldn’t know anyone else from there. So? Furthermore, there’s no indication that her parents weren’t invited too. Either way, Hermione would need their consent and there’s no doubt Krum knew she would. Like, we have no evidence that he was trying to do this behind their backs. In general, Harry himself regularly stayed with the Weasleys during school breaks, for weeks at a time. This could simply be a traditional aspect of wizarding culture. Something that happens all the time. Not some grand evil plan. In any case, Hermione rejected the offer to visit Bulgaria (or her parents said no, we can’t be sure) and I think we can safely assume that Krum took this with grace, as he and Hermione remain pen pals after the fact and are on good terms.

I’ve made this point before when defending Hayley, but I dislike how people express distaste for Krumione by describing it as an “adult man” pursuing a “15 year old girl.” Because referring to Krum as such in this context and ignoring that he’s only 18 himself just obscures the situation. It makes it sound a lot worse than it actually is, and it almost seems like people are doing this on purpose. Krum may be an adult in this case and Hermione may be a child, but that doesn't mean they're all that far apart. Again, Cedric and Cho also get together after the Yule Ball, and by Wizard standards, Cedric was an adult too. We're still dealing with a romance between two teenagers. Yes, an 18 year old is more mature than a 15 year old. But 18 year olds are still pretty damn stupid. I know. I’ve been there. 

But what about the time that Krum, as a 21 year old man, was eyeing up Ginny, a 16 year old girl? That alone kills any defense he might have, right? It creates a pattern and removes the benefit of the doubt from the equation…right? Well, it would, except that Krum doesn’t actually know her age, how could he isn’t actually interested in Ginny. He doesn’t check her out until after Harry describes Ron and Hermione as a couple. Up until that point, he had eyes only for her. It seems like pretty clear subtext. Krum just wants to find a pretty girl to dance with and make Hermione jealous. Which is immature. But again, acting immature is not the same thing as acting predatory. He backs off when Harry tells him that Ginny has a boyfriend, I think we can assume he would likewise have backed off if Harry had told him "She's 16, dude."

Altogether, Hermione was Krum’s first love. He seems to have idealized their relationship and never really gotten over her. While this probably isn’t the healthiest situation for him, I still wouldn’t call him a creep. Krum respects Hermione’s boundaries and her autonomy. he is never shown pushing her into anything she doesn’t want, and Hermione doesn’t appear to be the least bit negatively affected by his residual feelings for her. She just carries on with her life. She shoots him down, and while he doesn’t exactly move on, he also doesn’t make it her problem. The worst you can say about Krum is that he's maybe a little pathetic. But I don't see any red flags here, at least not of that sort.

[mariesakamari]

Chapter 5: Start of the Pokedex

Masterlist

3rd POV...

Location: Jubilife Village

“Hey look over at that lady,” Deuce grabbed Ace’s attention. They both looked over at a lady who was muttering to herself. They looked back at each other and walked towards the lady. 

“Um… excuse me Miss,” Ace greeted.

“Hello, You’re those newcomers who fell from the sky,” the lady had looked at Ace and Deuce in shock that they had talked to her. “I’m Marli. Are you heading outside the village?”

“Yep we are,” Deuce answered.

“Of course you are,” Marli giggled. “The Survey Corps must have to get out and about to compile that ‘Pokedex’ book they’re working on, right? Well, on your way, kindly do me a favor: find out all about Starly! Pokemon certainly are terrifying creatures… But when I see Starly, I feel simply… whole! Not that I have the least desire to actually TOUCH one, mind you. Please let me see Starly’s entry in that Pokedex the moment you’ve completed it!”

“Starly,” Deuce whispered to Ace as they walked away from the lady. “That’s Cater’s Pokemon.”

“We got this request in the bag,” Ace grinned. 

“Hey, Ace, Deuce, what are you guys whispering about?” The duo turned around to see Epel and Jack walking up to them. 

“We had talked to Marli⎼over there⎼and she requested that we show her a completed Pokedex entry for Starly,” Deuce answered Epel.

“We had just taken a request from the guard named Beauregard in front of headquarters to bring him a Wurmple,” Jack said.

“What if taking people’s requests can help us complete the Pokedex,” Ace wondered out loud.

“Well let’s complete these two requests to figure it out,” Epel suggested. 

“I’ll go catch up to Cater since his Pokemon partner is Starly,” Deuce stated and went ahead of the three to talk to Cater.

“So far this place doesn’t seem too bad,” Epel smiles.

“Yep, but I do miss being able to contact my mom,” Deuce frowns. “I tried to contact her since I got up this morning but nothing goes through.”

“Yeah, I haven’t been able to contact any family either,” Epel sighed.

“Maybe our phone services are just blocked in this world,” Jack suggested. “But I think we should worry about the Pokedex for now instead of trying to contact people from our world.”

“Hey, looks like everyone is stopped at the gate,” Deuce pointed out. “Let’s see what’s going on.” The three of them walked up to the rest of the group that was waiting for them.

“Alright, seems like everyone is here,” Riddle stated. “Let’s go out and complete that Pokedex!” Everyone gave words of agreement and they made their way out of the gate.

……

Location: Obsidian Fieldlands

“Righto. Let’s get to it, then, shall we,” Laventon asked. “In order to complete this Pokedex of ours, there are a great many research tasks I’ll need your help to carry out. The details of these tasks can be found in the Pokedex for you to reference anytime. You must catch and battle diverse Pokemon species and carry out plenty of research tasks. Do so, and you’ll gain research points and other rewards for your work!”

“One last piece of advice,” Akari says. “If you see a wild Pokemon’s attack coming your way… dodge like your life depends on it!”

“Dodge,” Kalim questioned, he had slightly tilted his head.

“Here⎼watch closely, and remember what I do so you can do it later,” Akari demonstrates how to dodge. “That beautiful, flowing bit of gymnastics is what we call a dodge! If you’re light on your feet, you can dodge out of the way of wild Pokemon’s attacks. That way, hopefully you can avoid taking a beating and blacking out in the wilderness. The Security Corps had to collect me when I…got the business end of some Shinx’s Thunder Shock. But don’t you worry! I’ve got lots of experience to draw on, and I’ll teach you plenty!” Akari runs off. The group decided to follow Akari down the hill.

“Now, let me share some Survey Corps wisdom,” Akari smiles. “Open the Pokedex and you’ll see what tasks you have for that Pokemon. You might’ve noticed that you have a research task to do with how many Bidoof you’ve caught. That’s right⎼catching just one isn’t enough. You need two, then four…then more and more!”

“I wanna try to battle the Bidoof,” Jack stated. Leona gave Jack a nod of agreement and Jack went to battle the Bidoof that was in the path. Jack had pulled out the PokeBall that Epel gave him that carried the Shinx and threw it at the wild Bidoof.

“Shinx use Quick Attack,” Jack commanded and Shinx used Quick Attack. The wild Bidoof had taken some damage. The wild Bidoof used Rollout and Jack’s Shinx took some damage. Jack had his Shinx use Quick Attack again and the wild Bidoof had fainted. 

“Good job Jack,” Epel complimented. Jack sheepishly smiled as he held Shinx’s PokeBall. 

“Let’s continue down the path,” Riddle calls out from farther down the path. Everyone else goes to catch up to Riddle. They spot Akari a bit up the path and walk over to her.

“I think you’ve got it, but as a reminder: don’t forget to open your Pokedex when you focus on a Pokemon to check your research tasks for it,” Akari advised. “Try checking your tasks for Starly next. One of your tasks is to catch Starly without being spotted, right? For that task, try catching them while hiding in some tall grass. I’ll go wait for you up ahead. Come catch up once you’ve finished some tasks.” Akari runs off.

“Let’s check out the Pokedex,” Lilia suggested. Everyone pulled out their phone to check the Pokedex. 

“Hey why are the tasks darkened out,” Kalim questioned.

“Maybe we shouldn’t worry about that for now,” Jade said. “Let’s see what else Akari has to say.” 

“So where did she go,” Ruggie asked, looking around.

“Let’s go down by the wild Shinx, we might be able to see her there,” Silver suggested.

“Good thinking,” Malleus complimented. The group heads down the path. They spot Akari a bit off the path and make their way towards her.

“This area is called Horseshoe Plains,” Akari explained as she faced the group. “The last area was Aspiration Hill. Each section of Obsidian Fieldlands has different Pokemon within them. Some Pokemon travel and reside in more than one area. Around here, you can find a Pokemon called Buizel. It’s got an aggressive disposition. That means it’ll try to hit you with its moves, just like Shinx, and you’ll need to battle it to catch it. And speaking of which, your research tasks for Buizel include seeing it use a certain move. To be precise, you have to see it use the move in battle. That’s right⎼some tasks require battling! Now, I’ll go on ahead. You take care of some of Buizel’s research tasks, then come talk to me.”

“Cater,” Riddle gets Cater’s attention after Akari runs off again. “I want you to battle the Buizel so I can catch it.”

“Alright, let’s do it,” Cater agrees. Riddle goes up to Kalim to receive a PokeBall from him, and he and Cater approach the wild Buizel. The wild Buizel notices the duo and gets ready to attack, before it has a chance, Cater throws his PokeBall containing Starly at it, and a battle is started. The wild Buizel immediately goes in for a Quick Attack and Cater’s Starly takes some damage.

“Star, use Gust,” Cater called out. His Starly used Gust and the wild Buizel took some damage. The wild Buizel looked around but didn’t attack.

“Let’s do that one more time,” Riddle says and Cater agrees.

“Alright, let’s use Gust again,” Cater commands. His Starly used Gust again and the wild Buizel took damage. The wild Buizel used Quick Attack and damaged the Starly.

“The health bar is in the yellow,” Ortho comes over. “Riddle, you can try to catch the Buizel now.”

“Thanks,” Riddle thanked Ortho and proceeded to throw the PokeBall. The wild Buizel went into the PokeBall and after a few seconds, the Buizel was successfully caught.

“Hey, we just got a notification on our phone’s that a research task for Buizel was completed,” Rook exclaimed. “Looks like we all share the same Pokedex.”

“That makes completing the Pokedex easier since we are able to split up,” Azul stated.

“I wouldn’t advise splitting up till all of us have at least one Pokemon of our own,” Lilia said, then added: “Just to be on the safe side.”

“I agree with Lilia,” Vil joined the conversation. “We must all be prepared in case the Pokemon decide to attack us.” 

“Let’s continue on,” Leona walks on ahead of the group. “ Let’s see what else we can get. Also it seems that there are plants we can use for crafting that we can pick up.” The group continues to walk and comes across a group of Ponyta.

“Kalim, can you pass me a PokeBall,” Silver asked. Kalim agreed and handed Silver 3 PokeBalls. Silver quietly approached a straggling Ponyta and threw a PokeBall at it. The wild Ponyta went inside the PokeBall and the ball moved three times before the Ponyta appeared to be caught.

“You seemed to really focus on getting that Ponyta,” Sebek commented.

“They look like horses with fire manes and tails,” Epel observed. “That’s so cool.” 

“I thought it would be a good Pokemon to have,” Silver shrugged.

“We should train some of the Pokemon we catch,” Ortho suggested.

“Hey, Ace, Sebek,” Cater called out to them. “Check out these four Pokemon.” Ace and Sebek looked at the small creatures that seemed to be playing with each other. 

Jade approached the group: “How about catching them?”

“We don’t have PokeBalls,” Ace said. Jade had pulled out four PokeBalls from his satchel and handed one PokeBall to Ace, Sebek, and Cater. They took the PokeBalls from Jade and through them at the four Pokemon. The boys looked at the PokeBall in anticipation and at the last possible moment the Pokemon were caught. 

“Catching these Pokemon are stressful,” Cater sighed.

“Especially with the chance of the Pokemon breaking out of the PokeBall,” Jade added.

“I forgot about that,” Ace shook his head, then remembered something. “Hey Cater, can you train up your Starly? There was a lady who requested a completed entry for Starly.”

“So just do the research tasks for it,” Cater questions.

“Yeah, pretty much,” Ace responds. Cater nods in understanding. 

“Wait, you said a lady requested it,” Jade asked. Ace hummed in agreement. “Maybe taking requests can also help us with completing the Pokedex.”

“For sure,” Ace agreed. “Epel and Jack also took a request to catch a Wurmple and bring it back to the person.”

“Let’s train the Pokemon a bit more before leaving Horseshoe Plains,” Jade suggested. The small group agreed and went to rejoin the main group.

……

“Yeah, it’s like they are in danger,” Yuu spoke on the phone. They were currently speaking to Crowley. “I’m having, like, these visions, similar to the dreams I had while there in Twisted Wonderland.”

 “What kind of dreams did you have here,” Crowley asked, surprised with the new information Yuu was giving him.

“They were dreams of the Great Seven,” Yuu said, thinking back at the weird dreams they had back in Twisted Wonderland. “They happen when I interacted with new dorms, and I kinda knew when someone from the dorm was gonna overblot.”

“Why didn’t you say anything then,” Crowley voiced his filled disappointment.

“You wouldn’t even have listened,” Yuu sighed. “You always seemed too busy to do your own job, or even find me a way back home. Like so many things have happened under your watch and you did nothing! The only time you did something was when the reputation of the school, like now because some of the students are in another world.”

“I was very gracious while you were here,” Crowley tries to defend himself. “With these new circumstances, it would be best to get Grim and the students back here.”

“Ummm… I don’t think Grim would want to return,” Yuu frowned. “He seems very happy here, and hasn’t even got into trouble.”

“That’s very interesting,” Crowley hummed. “I think it’s time the call ended. I still have plenty of work to do.”

“Alright, Crowley,” Yuu said. “We’ll talk again next week.” Crowley and Yuu said ‘goodbye’ to each other and the call ended. Yuu set their phone down on their desk and looked down at their sketchbook. Yuu had drawn a sketch of a creature made from rocks with axes for hands. They wondered what was gonna happen to their friends.

...to be continued

[ariadnewhitlock]

A Cup of Stars || Meera & Ariadne

TIMING: Current-ish, early this week LOCATION: Best Exotic Herbal Tea PARTIES: Meera @the-haunteang and Ariadne @ariadnewhitlock SUMMARY: Ariadne goes to explore the tea shop, and she and Meera talk. Ariadne tells Meera that she wants to take friends to the tea shop. It's soft. CONTENT WARNING: None

“Good morning!” Meera cheerfully greeted the woman that just entered her family shop, with a warm smile and an excited wave. The Best Exotic Herbal Tea Shop was supposedly one of the oldest businesses in the town of Wicked’s Rest, though its current owner, Meera, hadn’t really bothered to verify that information. To her, it was good enough that her grandmother had always spoken about it, included it in their age-old catalogs, and no one else has disputed the fact.

The Ghazi siblings, who usually manned the counter, were currently busy with other customers, so it was up to the usually reserved Meera to try and do her best not to get distracted by the ghost of a random relative just staring at her from the door, slightly behind the other woman. Years ago, it would have been quite the most jarring of sights. These days, however, she was getting used to it. “How can I help you?” 

Having more than one place to go and get tea wasn’t a bad thing, by any means. Supporting local shops was important - a belief that Ariadne had all on her own, but one that was certainly aided by the fact that her family had a business of their own that relied on support from the town in order for it to be successful.

“I - what is your favorite tea to get?” Ariadne glanced up at the listing. “I’m big on tea - not like, an expert, I just like how it tastes, and I also like to listen to what others have to say.” She gave a small huff. “So. Yeah. Are you able to give me recommendations? If that’s asking too much, just tell me. I don’t want to be a bother.”

“Me, personally?” Meera was caught offguard by the question. She had been asked the same thing, of course, countless of times before, but it always catches her offguard. It was the same kind of question as when someone asks a mother who their favorite child was. Meera couldn’t choose. All her life, she had known tea, a lot of them, perhaps more than any one person should, but in her defense, her family was in the business. “I guess it depends on the time of day and the mood I’m in, but nothing can beat Assam or Darjeeling for me.”

Of course, she’d choose those two. They were from home, a part of her life she had barely known, she could no longer go back to for fear of the thousands and hundreds of dead relatives that would swarm her as soon as she stepped foot in that continent. There were already too many for her to handle in this part of the world. Meera shook her head, mustering enough strength to retain her smile, before continuing. “It’s not a bother, not at all, but I suppose we can start with what tea have you had recently and if you’d like to try something new?” 

“Yes - you’re the expert.” Ariadne sighed, “I didn’t - it’s also okay if you don’t want to tell me, but both of those teas sound wonderful.” There was something enchanting about getting to talk to someone who was such an expert at something so beautiful, and she regretted not having been to the shop many times before.

“I had rooibos last night, and also a chamomile. This morning I had Irish Breakfast, I think?” Ariadne thought for a moment, and then nodded. “Yes, that. I will admit I am fond of making teas quite sweet - but I do genuinely like the flavor too. But yes, I think I might like to try something new - or at least - well, yeah, actually - up for trying basically anything.”

Meera found the sigh a little discomforting. Although she tried her best not to show it, she was taken aback by the response. Was it something she said? Before she could ask that very question, she found a different ghostly relative staring at the customer, appearing right behind her. He didn’t make any sound, didn’t move their graying lips, only stared with those large empty eyes. Feigning a cough, Meera did her best not to focus on the ghost. They were neither buying nor selling anything. “O-oh, I wouldn’t call myself an expert,” she went on. “We do actually have one but they’re out at the moment.”

Wherever those two were, Meera didn’t want to know. The pair of so-called experts had been working for her mother before she passed and maybe even for her grandmother and her grandmother’s mother. She wasn’t quite sure about that part. But they were full of knowledge about teas, far more than Meera herself could ever hope to have. She knew her chamomiles and lavenders, Assams and Ceylons, but those guys were on another level. 

“Oh, well, in that case,” Meera turned her back to the customer to browse the shelf on the wall, which contained a selection of different teas. When she turned to Ariadne again, she held in her hands two different boxes. “Some teas ARE sweeter than others, so maybe you’d like to try some pandan leaf tea or star anise tea?”

She could see, for only a moment, an expression of unease wash over the woman’s face. Even though she hadn’t done anything to scare her, Ariadne couldn’t help but feel at fault. “I - sorry, I’ve just never met someone so wonderfully dedicated to tea before, and I think that surprised me.” She plastered a smile on her face, doing her best to force herself to relax, as much as was possible. “That’s totally fine, I’d probably be like, super unimpressive to them, anyhow.” She offered the other woman a small smile.

“I’d love either of those.” Her smile grew, “could - yeah, I’d even take both, if you wanted?” Ariadne nodded, “though not at the same time, I don’t know if that would work out so well.” She tapped her fingers on the countertop for a moment, before stopping, worrying that it would only draw that same expression of unease that her sigh had, earlier.

“Oh,” came Meera’s meek reply. She wasn’t quite sure what to make of the apology. Although she took the compliment as a, well, compliment, Meera has never been good at actually stating the obvious when it came down to it. Like, what was she even supposed to say? Thank you? She felt that was not enough to express how much she appreciated the customer’s sentiment, but at the same time, just saying it out loud, as is, felt like too much, too. “I don’t know… You’re…pretty…impressive to me.” What.

Meera feigned a cough, trying her best to move past that weird reply from herself, though she stumbled a few more times, unsure how to actually do that and whether she could even do that. “Tell you what, since it’s your first time here,” she did look too young to be an old customer, and if she’d been around, Meera would have remembered her…right? “Why don’t I give you 50% off on both? That way, it wouldn’t be too much of a waste if you end up not liking them!” Maybe this was why Meera wasn’t doing better business than usual, though to be fair, she was never a good businesswoman to begin with anyway.

“I’m really not too impressive but, uh, thank you?” Ariadne squeezed her eyes shut. This whole encounter was something she wanted to apologize for. She’d invaded the woman’s space (even if it was a shop, technically) and hadn’t done anything to make her feel more at ease. If anything, she just seemed to keep making it worse.

“I - really? I’d love that, but that’s really a lot of you to offer, to a stranger. So how about, if I do like them, I pay you what I’d owe you?” Ariadne suggested. “It feels like theft or something, otherwise, but if you want to give me the discount, you can.”

Meera gave her a fervent nod with a warm smile to boot not unlike that of a child that just got patted on the head for acing a test that was more important to their parent. It wasn’t a familiar state of being for the tea shop owner, as it had been her childhood. To be fair, however, her mother just wanted to ensure her survival, all things considered. It was hard enough to raise a child on her own in an unfamiliar place, but to raise a child who could see their dead relatives while their dead relatives kept stalking them? It was too much, something that was now akin to a nightmare for Meera herself.

“That’s okay with me, too,” Meera tried her best to make the young woman more comfortable than she seemed. “Whatever feels right for you.” 

She wanted to argue about that statement regarding the theft but felt unprepared to do so. What did Meera even know about theft? She’s been hauntingly sheltered all her life, trapped in the walls of her family’s overbearing tradition. The tea shop’s walls even felt like they were designed to keep her in. She did not have any cause to resort to thievery, not even a hint of desperation or curiosity. That and a dead relative was always watching. That was more stressful to her than getting thrown in jail for stealing a piece of gum. “Would you like anything else?”

“I just like to be honest and kind whenever possible, and I wouldn’t want to cheat you out of anything is all.” Ariadne sighed. She wanted the woman to like her, except she got the feeling that perhaps she was trying too hard. That perhaps all the effort that went into reassuring the woman was actually making her more hesitant about Ariadne. She did her best not to focus on that too much, and to instead focus herself on the tea. Which was, after all, the original point of her outing. Not totally embarrassing herself around someone cool would have just been a nice bonus.

“Do you have any cookies or cakes? I’ll pay for those too, I promise!” Ariadne squeaked, “but the tea all on its own is also perfect. Better than perfect, even.” Okay, now even she could tell that she was trying too hard. She took a deep breath. “I like it here. I might bring a friend of mine sometime. I think they’d like it too.”

“That’s fair,” Meera gave the young woman a warm smile. She was pleased at that response. Although she did like handing out discounts like there was no tomorrow, which most likely meant that she wasn’t that great of a businesswoman compared to her late mother and late grandmother, Ariadne’s words felt genuine. Or at least genuine enough to make her feel better even if her most generous offer was denied. “You’re a nice person.”

Usually, when someone declined Meera’s offer, it was because they wanted something else. Or they felt like too proud to accept what they felt was a ‘handout.’ That wasn’t always the case, though. She was sure of that. But it did feel like that most of the time. It wasn’t like she was a mind reader to know what people really thought. She was something else. A ghost watcher. Something like that. 

“Hmm, well, we do have something back there,” Meera moved toward the part of the counter to the side that had some pastries left on display. There used to be more over there, at least more earlier, but other customers have purchased them. What were left weren’t the usual kinds of pastries one would find at a bakery, most of all a tea shop. They were Indian pastries. From her father’s side of the family. Things she didn’t even have on a daily basis while she was growing up. “Oh, we still have a few Dharwad peda and Mysore pak! The peda is made with sugar and buffalo milk while the pak a buttery and dense cookie prepared in ghee. Dharwad and Mysore are places in India.” After the brief summary, she offered her a piece each to taste.

The woman was actually smiling now, which did a wonder for Ariadne’s nerves. Of course, she was practically positive that nothing could make them go away entirely, but any sort of lessening was more than welcome. “You’re a nice person too.” She offered her a small smile. “I just figure there’s not really ever a point to not being nice, really.”

She’d been raised to not take too much for granted - to be grateful - and Ariadne was, easily so, perhaps absurdly easily so sometimes - but she also knew that along with that came necessary respect, and it seemed overdue here, especially if the woman was out and about offering discounts to nearly everyone who entered the store. Not that she was rich - she never had been, but she believed very much in giving what was deserved.

“Those both sound amazing,” Ariadne took a small piece of each, taking care to chew each slowly, “and they both are amazing. This time I think I’ll go with the Dharward peda - which I hope I didn’t completely mess up the pronunciation of, but something advertised as having sugar is pretty much always gonna win me over.”

No point in not being nice… Those words reverberated in Meera’s head as her smile never left her lips. Truly the same words she has tried to live by, all things considered. To be fair, Meera had never encountered any reason, or point, to not be nice to someone, anyone at all, but that was mostly because she usually spent her days within the walls of her family’s tea shop. 

Maybe if she had time to go out, mix and mingle, Meera could find a reason, a point, to not be nice to someone, maybe one of those Internet goblins in person. “Why, thank you! That’s so…nice of you to say!” She beamed, thinking she was so witty for that play on words.

“Oh, don’t worry about it! New words in new languages of new cultures can take some learning,” Meera gracefully rang the additional purchase after leaving the two samples with the young woman, having gestured for her to finish them or just leave them there if she couldn’t. Forcing someone to do either was a bad habit everyone tends to mistake as a good one. People should have the freedom to decline offers and kind gestures and what-not. “Here you go! Enjoy them together!”

“Thank you.” Ariadne offered her another small smile. “It’s - I appreciate the pun. Joke? Whatever you just did.” Again, there wasn’t anything but complete and total honesty, even if she wasn’t totally sure she was making anything other than a fool of herself, but right now she wasn’t going to focus on that.

“I just wouldn’t want to sound ignorant or anything,” Ariadne bit her lip, “but thanks.” She took another bite of the sample, the taste something incredibly satisfying. “Oh - really? Together? I promise I don’t always repeat things quite this much, but uh…” her voice trailed off. “Anyhow, these are both wonderful. Is - I have a friend, who I might want to bring here, sometime. Would that be okay?”

Meera didn’t know what it was either. Was it a pun? She wouldn’t necessarily chuck it in the same company as ‘dad jokes.’ Those were mostly puns, weren’t they? Was it a joke? Sort of? She wanted it to come off as at least humorous but there was no set-up, at least nothing that wasn’t just recycled into it, and no hilarious punchline. Basically, she just repeated what Ariadne had said for the most part. Either way, though, she was just glad it was appreciated, so to speak, and she acknowledged that a polite smile and a brief nod. 

“Together,” Meera nodded again, gesturing toward the purchase. “They do taste great together, but of course, feel free to take them separately or with others that may be more suitable to your taste and preference. Dharward peda should go well with any tea.” At least she hoped. Truth be told, Meera hadn’t tried it with all the teas. There were far too many possible combinations out there, and she hadn’t even tried all the teas that existed. “Yes! That would be lovely! Bring everyone! All your friends. We’d love to meet them and share our love of teas with your friends and family!”

“You know so much.” Ariadne said, eyes wide, truly in awe. “I’m for sure gonna come back.” There was no reason not to, with the drinks and good being as good as they were, and with the women being so endlessly kind and accommodating. “I don’t - well, I don’t have a lot of friends, but I can bring the ones I do have, promise!” 

She took another bite of her dessert and a sip of the tea. “These are perfect.” Another nod. “You know, I’m really glad I came here.”

[vro0m]

vro0m’s rewatch - 165/310

2015 Mexican GP

Alright now that we're done with that extremely long US GP review let's get this season over with. 3 races to go.

It's the first Mexican GP since 1992. Nico is on pole for the fourth consecutive time. But hey, that didn't help him win the other 3 times so. Yep. He seems happy, anyway. He says it's gonna be an exciting race. They think the track might be greasy. There's talk of rain coming as well. He doesn't seem phased by either things. The car is fast in any conditions. Toto said he was still an angry man though. 

Here's the top 10 on the grid : Nico, Lewis, Seb, then Kvyat and Ricciardo, Valtteri and Massa, Verstappen, Perez and Hulkenberg.

And we hear from Lewis. He says he's having a wonderful week and loving it there in Mexico. He says he's humbled to be at the track, the crowd is great, bla bla bla, the usual. He thanks the fans for coming out there and hopes they'll put on a great show for them. He thinks the weather is beautiful as well. Yeah. We'll see. There's heavy clouds gathering at the horizon. He gets caps to throw into the stands and does so running up and down its length. 

We get what's basically a Mercedes AMG ad, during which Toto does a voice-over explaining how great they are on images of mainly Lewis' season. It's not very interesting and a bit dramatic. It’s about the US GP. Lewis says he never ever has doubts while he's driving and always believes he can move forward and win. (I love the intention but babe we've heard you give up on radio a number of times. So it depends on how good the car is, at least.) We hear from Rob Musgrave, n°1 mechanic on his car. He says although there's a chance for Lewis to win the title that weekend, they don't come into it with a different focus. He says it's been a rocky road but the team environment has been like no other he's ever worked at. He says both sides of the garage mix well, and pick one another up if they have to. Nico says he has nothing to lose and the best car on the grid so he wants to try and win as many races as possible. He also has "such a strong team-mate" and the battle is constantly on. He didn't get to enjoy winning the WCC very long because he immediately was back at it trying to beat Lewis in Austin. 

Then we hear from Kimberly Stevens, track aerodynamicist. She's American and glad to be at her home GP. She's wearing cowboy boots, although she admits it's a bit against the team uniform, but she's American and they're in Texas so she has to, apparently. 

Toto calls Lewis a rockstar racing driver. He's very fast in the car but he's also able to touch people. The crowd that's apparently around while the interview takes place erupts in cheers and Toto grins. Oh. That's because Lewis arrived lol. Toto imitates the yells from the crowd. Lewis goes to shake his hands but takes his hand away last second and Toto is still yelling and he hits him in the back.

Lewis laughs, and pats his chest. He walks away behind him, to wave to the crowd. "You see?" Toto asks. "You see what he's uh… triggering in people?" We can barely hear him. 

Rob Musgrave says in this era he's certainly one of the best if not the best. He's part of the team as well and doesn't ask for any special treatment or anything like that. "He's just a pleasure to work with." 

Then it's Sunday, and it's raining, and Kimberly Stevens explains they're doing both quali and the race so everything is a bit rushed. She's very excited for the wet race. Rob Musgrave says he thinks all racing drivers are the same, once the helmets go on they need to be fiery and feisty, otherwise they should give up. Nico says what counts to him is the WDC not the WCC. The WCC is a nice plus but he wants to be world champion. Lewis says if they win the WCC but he doesn't win the WDC, that's heartbreaking to a driver. 

We see highlights from the race. Escalating, stressful piano and violin music. Lewis says he thought he wouldn't be able to catch Nico but then the safety car came out. He was very grateful for it. "That's the world championship right there so I'm gonna drive the nuts off this car." Then Nico made a mistake. "And I was like okay, I'll take it!"

He describes bubbling emotions as he won. He was ready to explode. He had so many memories from growing up… It was almost too much to handle. It's an amazing feeling to come out, stand in front of the team, and hear them roar.

More dramatic Toto voice-over. The end. 

Brundle and Simon talk about Rob Musgrave saying Lewis is part of the team. Brundle says he was there for 4-5 hours to do a seat fitting to drive the car as we saw in another broadcast. There were no cameras around and he truly got the feeling that Lewis was welcome, respected and integrated in the team. Same for Nico. Simon says it's nice to hear that Lewis is a team player after reading what sometimes comes out in the press. 

Ohhhh we're getting a Lewis - Nigel Mansell interview as well. Lewis asks how different it was, there in Mexico, 23 years ago. Nigel says it was amazingly different and some parts he doesn't recognise. They talk about the track. The last corner has been changed, it was called the peralta (?) and it was a "long looping corner" that they'd take at 190 mph. It surprises Lewis. He asks if it was a bank. Nigel says it was a little bit banked, yes. The starting line was elsewhere as well so they used to cross it at that speed. (Later I think it was Brundle who said he exaggerated a bit lol)

Nigel asks him to tell everybody how he really feels now, he must feel awesome. He only won one title, Lewis won 3, what does it feel like. Lewis says they all are different. He feels like he's just beaming with light and everything around him seems beautiful. He still can't believe it. Nigel says he thinks it's wonderful that he does a lot of other things away from the sport : he sings, we see images of him wrestling as well (! Lucha libre ? Idk), he plays football (he calls it soccer but fuck that). What does he enjoy the most? Of course he says music is his favourite. He loves sports but there's something incredible about creating music. He says it's the universal language. It's the one thing that brings people from all walks of life together. "Crosses barriers," Nigel chimes in. "It does! There is no boundaries in music." He says as a kid he really loved hip hop but as he grew up he learnt to love all types of music. He loves the creative part of it. Nigel asks if he feels refreshed when he makes music. He says he can be in the studio all day long, 24 hours, and he feels amazing. They're doing it in the garage which is annoying because we don't hear them well but Nigel says he's excited that the boundaries are (? Can't hear). He thinks it is healthy. 

Lewis says at McLaren he felt like he was in a box. He couldn't go where he wanted to (metaphorically), he felt restricted. "Confined," Nigel adds. "It's like, you can only stay here," Lewis says as he mimes a circle with his hands. He thinks generally, as human beings, we tend to put people in a box. "If you do this, this is all you can do. It's weird if you do something different. But I don't feel it should be." He feels like he can apply himself to anything. 

Nigel says he often hears about teammates and he and Nico. He says he was fortunate but also a little bit unfortunate as he had 3 world champions as teammates. (Piquet, Prost, Rosberg). He says of course, when you're racing a world champion, you are the understudy. He says Lewis is the cream of the crop being three times world champion and he (Nigel) has said to people before that whoever is in the second seat has an incredible opportunity to race against the best of the best. "Absolutely," Lewis says with no humility whatsoever lol. Nigel carries on : they should work very well together. I don't understand the question he asks after that. Lewis says generally… Nigel can ask any of the guys, he's very easy and open. The way he was raised… His dad said to never play games outside of the car (mmmmh…….). You know what's coming next : "Do your talking on the track". So that's what he does. Of course they have to do all these interviews and stuff, he doesn't really care about that, what matters is what he does in the car. 

Nigel says there are some people who don't realise how fantastically disciplined Lewis is. Nigel says he actually (? can’t hear) a few things people don't even know about. “That's true isn't it?” Lewis says they all have to find their own way, Nigel’s way wouldn't have worked for him, and his way probably wouldn't have worked for him. Nigel interrupts him : "No, I like your way!" They chuckle. "I like your way as well," Lewis says. They shake hands. 

"You gotta promise your fans one thing," Nigel says. "What's that?" asks Lewis. "Do it again next year. But most importantly, don't hurt yourself like a certain golfer did." (... What) "By doing some of these other things, bouncing a little bit." (What is he talking about. Is this about Tiger Woods somehow? Why are they being compared? Just cause they’re both Black?) Lewis says as a parent his dad was always telling him don't do this and don't do that. And he was always generally doing what he'd been told not to do. "And still today I try and find a balance. I'm crazy. So I do all the things outside, which, you know, most sportsmen don't do. But I do it within myself a majority of the time. I don't go beyond like I do in a Formula 1 car." – "And it's a great feeling of freedom, isn't it?" says Nigel. "Oh it's amazing!" Lewis answers. "And it helps doing this too," Nigel adds, pointing to the inside of the garage. "And I've been lucky," Lewis says. "There have been times where I've almost hurt myself. And at that moment in time, I'm 'ooh…' I'm not gonna do that again, you know?"

They laugh. "But I think life is just so short, you know, my auntie passed away 4-5 years ago and I remember– she died from cancer and she was only in her early fifties, and I remember her sitting there telling me– she's like 'where did the time go?' you know 'I was working so much that I didn't get to do the things that I really wanted to do' and it resonated with me so much." So he tries to live everyday like it's the last, but with balance, because… "Look at this sport, we've lost Jules early on this year. You never know what's gonna happen." They fly all over the world, there's plane crashes, helicopter crashes, car crashes, ... 

Nigel asks what he'd want to say to the fans to wrap this up. "Well, man, I love my fans." He never thought he'd have people buying a t-shirt with his name on it. He dreamt of being a racing driver, he never thought of what came with it. And the love he gets from them is indescribable, the power he gets from them, the strength, it's undeniable. 

The cars are on the way to the grid. 

Oh. Interestingly, there are kids on the track for the anthem, in traditional clothing. Instead of putting their hands flat on their chest like I'm more used to seeing, they hold it facing down to the ground at the same height, arm straight, parallel to the ground. The anthem is played by one single trumpet. More like a clarion really. Oh yeah, it's soldiers playing it. So clarion indeed. And a few rows of drums. Oh and now the whole fanfare picks it up and the children start singing. I see that in the crowds, everybody is holding their hands the same way the kids are. I guess it's a Mexican thing I never knew about. That's interesting. I wonder why we do it differently. Checo does so as well, and he sings as well. All I can find online about it is that it's written in the law that that's how you do it in Mexico. 

A journalist asks Niki if he's worried about his boys into turn 1. He says yes absolutely, because Nico is aggressive, Lewis is always aggressive and they can let them race the way they want. He thinks 100% Nico will be more aggressive this weekend than he has been. He's a little bit worried about the start but also a little bit excited. After the first corner he'll relax a bit.

The stakes are Nico trying not to end up 3rd in the WDC standings ; Seb is currently 4 points ahead of him. 

Formation lap. 

And they're racing! 

Kvyat overtakes Seb while Lewis closes on Nico, but he keeps the lead. Seb is struggling, he lost another place to Ricciardo. And then to a lot of other cars. What's going on there? Oh he has a puncture, he says on the radio. He got it from contact with Daniel. Aww. :( Alonso reports loss of power and is called in to retire the car, already. Seb is in but he's held up because Alonso comes in as well. Catastrophic. That's a 7.7 stop. Bottas is challenging Ricciardo for P4. 

Oh god. It's 71 laps?! Phew. I don't like short circuits. Valtteri pits before the 10th lap. Massa follows shortly after. 

On lap 10, then, we have Nico, Lewis, Kvyat, Ricciardo, Verstappen, Perez, Sainz, Maldonado, Raikkonen and Grosjean in the top 10. So far it's really not very interesting. Then Sainz pits, while the Williams are making their way through the field. Seb overtakes Jenson for P11 BUT HE SPINS SHORTLY AFTER ohhh… He turns around and goes again but he's back down in P15. Perez pits from P6. 

It's lap 20. Nico is still in the lead ahead of Lewis by 2.8 seconds. It's still Kvyat, Ricciardo and Verstappen behind them. Then we have Raikkonen, Valtteri, Massa, Hulkenberg and Sainz. Seb complains of a flat spot. This time, Lewis sets the fastest lap. Kvyat pits from P3. It's gonna set things in motion for the top 5, surely. Valtteri attacks Raikkonen for P6 but can't make it. Maybe… OH THEY TOUCHED! Yeah we all saw it coming, it was so close. Oh that's terminal damage on that Ferrari? Yeah it is. Valtteri will get a penalty for that I think. Mmmh. I don't know. On the replay… It's difficult to say. It's not like Valtteri was excessively aggressive, he had the inside line and Raikkonen turned too sharply, I guess… The investigation is open. Ricciardo pits from P3. Nico is told to push hard. He's called in. Verstappen pits first. Here comes Nico. Lewis is now in the lead. No further action for the incident between Raikkonen and Valtteri. "Prime tyres to the end," Nico's engineer tells him. Seb overtakes Maldonado but goes wide and Maldonado is back ahead. He's really struggling. Lewis is called in. It's a quicker stop than Nico's, 2.4 vs 2.7, but he's back in the lead anyway. Seb says his tyres are really not in great shape now. 

And it's lap 30. Nico, ahead of Lewis, Kvyat back in P3 but followed by Valtteri and Massa, Ricciardo down in P6, followed by Hulkenberg, Verstappen, Sainz, and Perez. Lewis sets another fastest lap. The journalists think that unlike Nico, who's been told to manage his tyres, Lewis might stop again. Oooh. Perez is going for Sainz, who locks up and cuts across the grass. That's a lot of advantage gained, that… shortly after, he lets Perez ahead. Yeah. That's probably better than getting a penalty. But of course now he's attacking back. He doesn’t make it, though. Seb pits. He's in P14 and getting lapped by Nico, slotting between him and Lewis. Seb reports debris turn 10.

It's lap 40, now. I'm getting kinda bored. Nico, Lewis, Kvyat, Valtteri, Massa, Ricciardo, Hulkenberg, Verstappen, Perez, Sainz. Seb is getting blue flagged out of the way. Lewis sets another fastest lap. Nico's engineer is trying to tell him the gap to Lewis but he cuts him off : "Don't tell me anymore, don't tell me anymore." NICO PITS AGAIN. Huh. Bono : "We are going to convert to Plan B, converting to Plan B, let us know if you need a flap adjust." But he doesn't come in. They don't broadcast it but I see Lewis asked why. Bono explained : "We are worried about wear, we are worried about wear on these tyres, we are down to the canvas, so box this lap, box this lap." Then Lewis answered : "Bono, these tyres are still good." Bono insisted it was for safety reasons, presumably as Lewis didn't come in as he again tells him to box this next lap, then. "Bono you need to check his tyres, my tyres feel good," he said. Bono gets more stern, now. "So Lewis we were down to zero on the first set. If we go longer on this set, we will be down to zero if not worse. So this is boxing end of this lap, instruction." Lewis still answers : "I think that's the wrong call, but I am coming in." Bono says they'll debate it later, "boxing at the end of this lap." Oh here we go, now they broadcast Lewis asking why. And then the rest of it until the "instruction". He's in. Out in P2. "Please check those tyres and let me know," he says sullenly. "I want some feedback, Bono." Not a great attitude from the sporting point of view but he sounds hot af. 

It's lap 50. Ted explains the "I think it's the wrong decision" part of the comms that didn't get broadcasted. I wonder if Lewis thinks they're doing it on purpose to give Nico a win, after the last race's disappointment and with Toto saying he's still angry. Nico sets the fastest lap, and then Lewis sets the next one. Daniel just overtook Massa for P5. Perez overtakes Verstappen for P8. So the order goes of course Nico, Lewis, Kvyat, Valtteri, then Daniel, Massa, Hulkenberg, Perez, Verstappen and– OH! SEB HAS CRASHED! Awww what a shit day for him. Safety car out. Seb says he's okay and apologises. Sainz pits. Kvyat pits. Massa pits. Hulkenberg pits. Ricciardo pits. The journalists are surprised they didn't pit Valtteri, who's now in P3 then. Can he make it to the end? No, he can't, they pit him now. He's back in P4. Wow the crash is strange… He just couldn't turn. There was a problem with that car for sure. And the safety car comes in… Nico backs them up and Lewis is almost side by side with him… Here we go! VALTTERI OVERTAKES KVYAT! Great job! Yellow flags in sector 3? Oh. Nasr had an issue, he says his brakes are finished, but he's able to drive himself through the barrier and out of the track so no race interruption. Oh and on a replay we see Nico went wide and cut through a corner. And then on a different one we see Lewis also going off although more briefly somewhere else. Valtteri is in his DRS zone as well, but he can't use it yet. 

It's lap 60. Nico is 1.3 ahead of Lewis, then what happened, because Valtteri is suddenly 2.5 seconds down… Kvyat and Daniel come next, followed by Massa, Hulkenberg, Perez, Verstappen and Grosjean. DRS is enabled now. 

10 laps to go. Lewis is slowly, little by little, closing on Nico. One tenth at a time. He'll soon be in his DRS zone… Maldonado went wide and almost collected a wall, but saved it. Here it is. Lewis is under a second away, oh but he must have made a mistake because now it's 1.8… Come on, we're running out of laps! 

5 laps to go. 1.4. He's gaining again, but I'm not sure he's doing it fast enough to get a chance. He sets the fastest lap. 1.2. Oh 1.4… Nico sets the fastest lap now. He's gonna get this one. 

It's the end of the race. 

Nico wins, Lewis P2, Valtteri P3. 

Lewis and Nico completely ignore each other as they walk to the cool down room from the track. The cars are parked in front of the stands, which is a nice touch for the fans. Nico left his helmet and gloves with his car and he's supposed to have them for the weigh in. Finally, he goes to shake Lewis' hand. It's brief, and dry. He turns away immediately to shake Valtteri's, while Lewis makes himself look busy with his suit and wire. Valtteri interrupts him to congratulate him as well.

They chat, while Nico slaps Shov's arm in glee. The caps are of course replaced by large sombrero shaped hats that are very ugly because they're completely made of what looks like black velvet. Nico didn't hear them call his name and gets there as they announce the anthem. They wait for him to salute the crowd and climb on the first step. 

Lewis chooses he'd rather go without a hat than the stupid sombrero, as does Valtteri. 

Nigel Mansell is leading the interviews. Lewis throws the sombrero into the crowd like a Frisbee. The crowd sings "ole, ole ole ole ole, Nico, Nico" which must be nice after all this time without a win. Nigel says to Lewis he pushed hard but couldn't quite do it today. "No, Nico drove a fantastic race. It's just been fantastic to be here in Mexico. I've never seen a crowd like this, it's like a football game." They cheer. "The fans have been amazing, I've never seen anything like this." 

Niki says Nico was better this time no question, but his and everybody's worry was if they'd finish the race at all. The brakes, the temperatures, all that. "So we did a perfect job, I have to say." Ted asks if that's why they pitted them a second time. He says it was tyre wear but they had to manage cooling the car. Ted asks if he thinks it's right they made Lewis come in given Nico had pitted. Niki says he couldn't have stayed out, the strategy was changed from 1 to 2 stops because the wear was high, and they were so much in the lead they could afford it. If the team decides to do another pit stop, they both have to come in.

In the media pen, Lewis says it wasn't a tough day, it was a good fun day, the team did a great job and Nico drove fantastically well and didn't make any mistakes today which is good for him. He did everything he could, pushed as hard as he could, but when you get close you lose downforce on this track and as there's little grip to begin with, it makes it difficult. Of course she asks about the second stop. He says he didn't get any feedback on the set he asked about. Then he says he doesn't think they gave him any, or at least he doesn't remember it.

He makes that face he makes when he's kinda caught red handed, when he isn't proud of his actions, or is about to say something controversial (it's the same one he made when he said Nico and himself weren't friends last year) : eyes narrowed, lips parted, frozen expression. "It's irrelevant anyway, so…"

He has a small smile. The team had concerns for safety so they took a decision. "For safety, that's what you have to do." So he doesn't think the win was there for him today after the start? He reiterates he was pushing every single lap for it without cooking his brakes, but that's as close as he could get.

They're taking a team photo. Lewis starts running before they spray the champagne. Then comes back. Nico gestures to the team members to spray Lewis as a team member holds him down and Lewis turns around to make him let go and pushes him away with a wide smile.

You'd think everything is fine in this team. They take another photo, and there's the champagne, Lewis sprints, they focus on Nico who didn't move. 

[manias-wordcount]

Have a request? Read me!

Okay so ive been running this shit for about a year and a halfish i think its time to talk about how i work. though before we start i just wanted to say im thankful for everyone who supports me or just reads a work of mine. it means the world to me and i enjoy being able to share my writings with a bunch silly and lovely people like y’all !!! 

General Rules for my blog!

Please don’t ask me for any personals information lol

like actually

this includes stuff like my age, where im from, etc. 

i share what i want on my own private time sooo like

dont ask teehee

Please dont make SA jokes in the comments of my stuff xD

i wish i was joking.

i understand some people use humor to cope

but thats no excuse to be joking about bringing out the rape whistle when a unpopular background character is staring at you

like i really wish i was joking but yeah

Don’t be rude in general in the comments of my stuff lmaoo

like its genuinely annoying.

it’s 10000% okay to not agree with my vision for how a story goes or how a character should react

but if that’s something you want to tell me, do not be rude about it lmaoo like where are your manners

like if you dont agree, you dont agree but neither of our word is law soo...

also dont fucking shame requesters or commenters if they’re actually doing nothing wrong

i’ve had way too many people complain or shade other’s completely reasonable requests like wtf???

but yeah practice some self-awareness before you speak your mind sometimes? 

you are not the only person in the room

okay rant over teehee

Some of the stuff on my blog contains sexual material

I really try to give warnings ahead of time

but don’t be afraid to point out if there's something else that probably needs a forewarning

also my words are not gospel

shit can be dramatized (im whore)  or romanticized for convenience of storytelling (im lazy) so if youre using this stuff to learn about sex uhhh

maybe dont?

Some of the stuff on my blog contains some dark themes

i also try to be transparent about those things as well

but for the record im in no way glorifying these dark themes

though as someone who is both creative and has seen/gone through so shit i do explore and work through some of these topics to myself as a person and as a writer!

Request Rules and Guidelines

i’ll write anything!! (within reason)

i think you guys can guess a bit about what “within reason” means

and i know the fact that i dont have a “NO LIST” can be inconvenient

but if you’re unsure if ill write something you want? just ask!

you can always ask in dms or in my inbox! either is fine  

that means i have the right to deny anything too, of course

long story short, y’all dont pay me LMAOO

i usually wont deny something but i will if it’s...

one: requested while my requests are closed (im sorry but no more means nomore!!!)

two: goes against what i believe in some way (i doubt anyone is going to request something political or bigoted so im talking shit like the fact that i will never write anything that takes place in the state of New Jersey USA because  i hate that place so much WHHAHAHAHA

three: you were mean to me AHAHAHAHAHAH

yeah this list isn’t long and very hard to get but i did want to make this transparent

before anyone starts requesting some new jersey aus..........

be respectful !!

not only am i human, im truly am doing this for free (for now, at least) and on my own time

though you should treat people who charge for their work with respect too.

its hard out there for us lil creators lmao

sometimes, less is better.

Super detailed requests can be tricky to navigate.

Again, im doing this on my free time and i average around 1K-2k words depending on what my life is looking like at the moment.

sometimes a super detailed requests require multiple parts that might not be released for a long time.

Or i struggle with getting a story im proud of putting my name while trying to respect the request.

If you want specific details to make the experience more personal to you, go for it

but do you really need to tell me what your request is in 11 full-length  sentences? do you really HAHAHAH

also if i aske you to explain something, please be able to explain it bc im not a mind reader and this guess and check thing is kinda stressful

try not to rush me lol

Im checking my blog everyday.

I see your requests and i promise im (most likely) not ignoring you.

i have other hobbies, and a life too, and possibly 20 requests ahead of you.

i try to get everything out asap but sometimes that’s like 2 or more months

BUT if you’re scared that your request may not have made it through the hellsite, send another one asking if i got the request! 

i’ll respond to that one if i have!

PLEASE TELL ME WHO AND WHERE THEYRE FROM IN YOUR REQUEST

like actually teehee

It stresses me when i just get a request and all that's included is the situation the requester wants and the character’s first name. Give me the full name or tell me where they’re from before i scour every single series i write for to check for repeat names

its not that big of a deal but im scared of fucking up for you guys aaaaaa

If you send me a weird or rude request as anon, im just going to delete it from my inbox for both of our sake

cough cough THINK LIKE NO PEDOPHILIA LIKE ACTUALLY

and im not gonna specify what i mean by “weird” beyond that just because it’s very much a random situation

im not naming anons but just kinda think ahead of time what you’re asking me (a stranger) to do and publish for you

maybe uhhh...check my masterlist before requesting?

i know its daunting

i know i have a lot on there

but there might literally be exactly what you’re looking for on there HAHA

if not though, absolutely go forward with requesting !!!!!!!

even if what you want is something similar to what i’ve already written, a few changes make a huge difference!

but when in doubt about characters or stories i’ve written before?

check!

if have the right to change the way i write a request (unless specifically stated otherwise)

all this means is that every request (unless a HC is specifically asked for) will start off as being written as a full length average Mania™ fic

if for any reason i decide it would be better in a different format, then i will change it (ex: fic  => hc)

UNLESS YOU SPECIFICALLY ASK FOR A CERTAIN FORMAT

then ill keep true to that format no matter what happens 

but yeah ! that’s it for now at least. ill update this post if theres more hehe. also if you have questions, just dm me or put it in my inbox :)

[surely-galena]

Just thought of something after seeing the occasional Hatoful Boyfriend post on your TL, but...what do you think would happen if MC/Rosa, who we saw give a (or in a lot of players' cases, multiple) no-hold barred beatdown-type debate to a pigeon in an event, found out about Hatoful Boyfriend? 😅

Hello, exhausted-impact!!

[WC: 1.6K ] I'll be putting this under a cut so people can scroll through faster that way, haha

//mild spoilers for hatoful bf and holiday star

And okay, here's my take on MC/Rosa and Hatoful Bf (with obligatory disclaimer that these are just my opinions):

But first, a semi-tangent--

I honestly think Luke, bird friend extraordinaire (okay, one bird friend) would get into the game first. Just for fun, and because his life is stressful enough that maybe the haha funny pigeon dating game could provide some escapism for him. He's going along with it, maybe sending screenshots to the NXX members (maybe a suspicious Shuu line goes to Vyn along with the caption "is this you??")

Several things happen, one at a time.

The first is Nageki, because going into that one blind... it changes things, you know? Especially since I think Luke, with his desire to be the martyr and/or hero, would find himself relating a little too much. That's when the screenshot sending slows down.

Things continue to get darker with Shuu's endings. Anghel's route is unexpectedly emotional (because I don't know, I think Luke would vibe with Anghel).

And then the BBL route / true end hits.

The moment Ryouta finds, you know, the box, is when Luke stops. He makes a save and sends a text to MC, like, hey. you gotta see this.

And because they've had a history of playing video games together (even if a lot of them do seem to be action/fighting based), I think they'd also be down to go through a VN?

So here's where MC comes in.

"Ah," MC goes. "The pigeon dating sim."

"Yeah, yeah, roll your eyes all you want," Luke says, and then makes her start all the way from Ryouta's route.

Going through the first half of the game (the bird routes) doesn't actually take that long, it's maybe an hour or so for the first one, and then if you skip through seen lines for the rest then it's maybe half an hour per route (if you're reading aloud. Because I want MC to voice all of Hiyoko's fantastic lines and Luke to switch back and forth between voicing the rest of the birds).

I mean, MC saying lines like these aloud is just a fun concept in general:

For the sake of their vocal cords, I'm going to say that the first half of the game takes about 2-3 days, depending on how much free time they have.

Here's a quick rundown of how I think MC is going to find the routes:

Ryouta: Sad, but a really good opener. If MC knows about Luke's illness at this point, she'll probably make some parallels (i.e. childhood friend dying) and be even sadder.

Kazuaki/Nanaki: She respects that the teacher rejects Hiyoko, but is overall mostly intrigued by the file room conversation and the blacked out photo.

Sakuya: I think she probably wants to bop him on the head half the time, but she's still able to relate to his struggles and understand him as a character. Even if she really wants to make him treat his half-brother better.

Nageki: Luke gives her a content warning before that particular twist and they're both left feeling kinda sad afterward. He's a sweet bird, and MC was really looking forward to befriending him, but at least he found peace :')

Yuuya: Honestly Luke's favorite main route because of the whole secret agent thing and he won't shut up about it. MC just listens to his whole spiel and is thoroughly entertained by it all. She also loves the best end.

Shuu: MC definitely puts two and two together and gasps at the roast bird delivery scene. They both crack up at that triple 'yes' option, but overall Shuu is probably the bird MC wants to debate/fight the most. "Suspicious people like him should not be in a school in the first place," she says. "Suspicious birdies," Luke corrects, and she elbows him in response.

Okosan: MC's just kinda "huh??" throughout this one, but in a good way. Okosan is the most similar to the pigeons she's debated, so possible mixed feelings on that end, but the best ending leaves her smiling and shaking her head, because a) what was that?? and b) oh of course that happened. Totally makes sense. At the same time, part of Okosan does remind her of Peanut, so her feelings about his route are more positive than not.

Anghel: She loves the boss battle in this one. She also ends up wanting to protect Anghel almost as much, if not equally as much as Nageki. She calls out his name expectantly every time they hear the glass breaking sound effect after this.

Azami: This one is just a fun route! I think MC's a bit of a romantic, so she'd probably enjoy getting Azami back with Rabu. But her girlboss side would also adore Hiyoko and Azami starting a gang together. Either way, it's also mildly refreshing to not think about being murdered by Shuu or other Hawk Party agents.

Okay, time to move on to the second half of the game / true end.

MC is really intrigued by the fulfilling the promise option. Because they're playing on Luke's version, she'll already have seen it, but she hasn't clicked on it until now.

Luke has only seen up to the box scene, so they both get to go in mostly blind. MC is already semi-invested up to this point, but as the story unravels, she finds herself even more intrigued. It's also hard not to draw uncomfortable parallels from H5N1 to the NXX drug.

I think the things that are going to hit MC the most are Hiyoko's murder, Nageki's backstory, Sakuya's arc, and the part where the birds essentially use the power of friendship to bring Ryouta back. Also the scene with Nageki vs. Hitori's shadow.

For Luke, I'd definitely say that the shadow scene hits hard as well (especially when Nageki reminds Hitori of his second promise).

Oh!! And after the credits roll and the epilogue hits, Luke is probably overjoyed to see Yuuya alive. MC is cracking up over how he genuinely believed Yuuya died, but overall she's really happy that hope ultimately prevails in the end.

For NXX found fam agenda purposes:

Let's say MC decides to drag the rest of the NXX members into playing through the game all over again just to see their reactions to the bait and switch.

Artem is only mildly interested at first. Vyn is amused, but MC asked so of course he's in (and it's not like he's going to miss out on time with MC). Marius just thinks the concept is hilarious and that's why he also agrees.

Super quick bullet points, but here are various reactions for each member:

Artem: Doesn't really understand the hype until he gets to Nageki. From that point on, he's always looking out for "the library bird" (to MC's delight). He ends up really liking Sakuya's character arc and the whole murder mystery later on, and the fact that so much foreshadowing is done in the first half. It also helps that the sci-fi aspects intrigue him. He drafts a review on his Mockingbird blog, but never posts it (mostly because Mockingbird playing a bird dating sim is just going to lead to commenters making a bunch of the same jokes). His favorite character ends up being Anghel.

Marius: Somehow, he always picks out the right beans for Legumentine's and MC is completely bemused by it. The parts that hit hardest for him are the Yuuya half-brother/egg twist and the scene where Yuuya sacrifices himself for Sakuya (because brother parallels). At the same time, he's also yelling at Sakuya to be nicer to Yuuya. Oh, and he's genuinely shocked when Shuu gets shot near the end.

Vyn: Starts psychoanalyzing Shuu from the moment he meets him because he's still not over that one text Luke sent. Actually ends up guessing a lot of emotional beats/plot points by accident, but MC refuses to confirm or deny his predictions. His favorite character is Hitori because he finds him intriguing.

Actually on Hitori, it's up to you if you want to imagine an NXX version of Hitorigate (but milder), but I imagine that if it happens, MC is probably going to be pretty neutral XP

Oh, and then they all find out Holiday Star is a thing.

More quick bullet points on that:

MC immediately wants to adopt Miru and Kaku

Luke gets really excited at the Miru and Kaku tank scene

Vyn finds out that he has a new favorite character (it's Albert. Not just because they share the same name (although that is part of the reason), but also because of the Ogier parallels haha)

Marius' favorite story is Absolute Zero -- because of the comic aspect, but also because he finds Tohri hilarious

He also ends up accidentally memorizing the Pretty Coore catchphrases

Artem and Vyn both find The Day the Night Slept to be their favorite parts, but for slightly different reasons

Vyn gets to jump back onto the Hitori analysis train (pun unintended?)

Artem just thinks the dream symbolism is really interesting. Also, he's really vibing with the storybook framing

The part where Yuuya is working with Leone JB to jump into the rest of the cast's dreams only solidifies him as Luke's favorite character

Also MC, Marius, and Luke all go "HE DID NOT" when the King drops the "are you going to break another egg?" line

Marius really, really loves the art style for The Day the Night Slept and adores how the King is painted

You know the picture book scene where everything is just scribbles? Marius points at Artem and goes "that's how you draw"

MC cracks up at Shuu's "become sashimi" line and can't stop laughing for a full five minutes

But it's also an emotional rollercoaster because she tears up at the lighthouse scene

Thank you for the ask! It was definitely interesting to think about (as you can probably tell by the word count) :D

Have a nice day!!

[thewaywardbruja]

Fire Spells vs. Jar Spells

( For Me! )

( Edit now I'm awake so my thoughts will be clearer xD )

Hi guys, just wanted to get in here and share a side of my craft that I have been lying in bed thinking about for the last hour 😂

So in my craft I have done a few jar spells, but I'm not really a fan of them. I feel like they dont have as much oomph as a fire spell.

I feel like with a fire spell youre setting your intentions and physically sending them into the universe, where with a jar spell youre just containing it? If that makes sense.

I feel like when youre doing a Spell Jar you're containing the energy and its not able to go anywhere, like, in the way you'd put a plant in a jar and contain it theres no place for energy to go or grow.

I think it goes back to being taught about both very well but always gravitating toward fire spells.

I started with fire spells to send healing spells to my grandma, and even though I did a few jar spells - I never felt like they worked. I felt like whenever I did a jar spell it was just stagnant where it was.

But again thats just what I have learned in my practice, maybe my power is in fire spells. Maybe its not what someone else has experienced. I still do Jar Spells from time to time, but I mostly rely on fire spells, and enjoy doing them a lot more.

Do I believe Jar Spells have power, again I think it depends on who's doing them. For my practice I believe they have power but only when they're used to heal - again it goes back to my belief that baneful magic, curses and hexes shouldnt be done within witchcraft, and I hold strong to that. I dont do hexes or curses, and I wont ever bring that kind of aspect into my practice.

I think it goes back to how you begin, what you learn and who teaches you what. I have never liked the idea of hexes or curses and feel there is no need for them. If you hate someone that much, then go no contact. Theres no point in putting a hex or curse on them. Thats dark magic and no one should be the victim of it.

Do I practice wards and protections of course, and I make sure my loved ones and my home and car are protected, I actually enjoy doing that kind of spell work, and weaving webs no one can penetrate.

But yeah. Kind of got off track sorry!

-

So my preference is Fire Spells, and I really enjoy doing them :D

I'm not in any way dragging anyone who does anything I have mentioned, thats not the purpose of this, I'm merely stating what I as a beginner practicing witch believe, and I could be completely wrong and thats totally okay too.

But at this moment thats how I feel. And how I continue to practice my craft..

Thank you for coming to my 6am ramble. ~

[alsjeblieft-zeg]

393 of 2022

How often are you optimistic? More often than not. Even if it takes time and lots of overthinking. Would you say your thoughts are generally rational and logical or irrational and illogical? Both simultaneously. All depends on how I'm feeling at the moment. Tell an interesting fact about your favourite country? The Netherlands - their 'coffee shops' are definitely not what American people would think. Are you wearing anything of any sentimental value? Describe? Yeah, a lime green, hoodie. It's really old, but comfortable and it certainly remembers better times. Are you the type to pay attention to detail? Always. I may notice things nobody else does. To you, what is especially distracting? Intrusive thoughts. What are some things that are important in your life right now? Getting better in terms of health, my relationship, my cats, contact with people, friendships. Also money - I'm sad to say it, but everything goes more and more expensive these days. Have you ever thrown anything away and regretted it later? Yeah, food. I always feel guilty about it, but somehow I can't help it. Are you the type to regret things or live and learn? Live and learn. Thankfully I've had the chance to grow up. How often do you feel like you need time to yourself? Every once in a while. I care much about others, but at times, caring only about their problems becomes quite overwhelming and then I need a reset. Do you like being around other people? Why is this? I do, but mostly around people I know. It gives me some sense of safety, and makes me feel like I belong somewhere. Do you feel like anyone "gets" you? Who? I don't think anyone truly gets me. Not even my husband. What would you be most likely to do with a friend today? Go to the sea. It's pretty cold, but it would be fun. When are you most likely to be crabby? When I'm tired and when I didn't sleep well. How about upbeat and cheerful? When I'm with people I love. Who challenges you the most? In what way? My husband. His 'tough love' makes me motivated. Who seems to hold you back? And why? My health problems. I have a disorder that is pretty unpredictable. What was the last opportunity that you passed up, and why? I don't remember. I usually take opportunities. Would you rather have a quiet day at home or be on the go? Be on the go, but it's comforting to know there's a place  can come back to. Do you think you made a good impression on the last person you met? Last new person I met? I don't remember when it was. How do you feel about people who neglect their pets? I'm asking myself why do they even have pets in the first place. Should there be an application process for having children? Would be handy. It's heartbreaking to see all the child abuse around. Are you able to ask for help when you need it? It's still very hard, but I'm slowly getting there. How intense is your anger? Have you ever hurt anyone in anger? Pretty intense, but very short-lasting. I've never hurt anyone, at least physically. What is something red that you like to eat? Beetroots. Or a soup made of them. Do you ever have trouble getting lighters to work? It depends on the lighter. Some are more difficult. If someone drinks, would that lower your opinion of that person? No. I don't judge people, especially if I don't know their reasons. What if they did drugs? Neither. I would hesitate to get into relationship with such a person, but I wouldn't reject them completely. Everyone deserves the 2nd chance, I think. If your best friend wanted to cheat on their partner, you would say what? Nothing. It's their life and their decision, they would bear the consequences. It would be difficult to me if my friend's spouse was my friend, too. Who do you know that gives very sound advice? My 2nd ex. He's a wonderful person and I think he would make a great therapist. What do you think makes a person weak? Inner need to put others down to feel better. What makes a person strong? Being able to forgive. Also, being through a lot and still not giving up. Who do you go to when you need comfort? My 2nd ex. We remained great friends after our break up. Is there anyone/thing with whom/which you like to cuddle? My husband. Do nightmares still bother you? Yes, they bother me after bad experiences. But, "still"? I don't think nighmares are a matter of certain age. At what age did you start to feel like a teen and not a kid anymore? At 13, I think. But really when I started noticing changes in my body. It was pretty difficult. What is a fear you have about living on your own? Being alone in the house with no one to help me in case I have a seizure. Who was the last person to completely fascinate you? I think it was a student who worked a temporary job in the transport company in the hospital I'm going to. He's so cute. But he's really young.